#was getting annoyed that all the proper games i want to play cost actual

[saltlickmp3]

anybody remember the best game in the world.....

[dragonsdendoodles]

wait i also dont know if other anon meant just hugh or not but i personally would love to hear what you think about the rest of them :) also jesus, hugh is going through it 💀 laying face down in a puddle of honey with forty five thousand bees buzzing around him

So I’m just gonna summarize this because otherwise it’ll be a mile long

Miss P: Has to be convinced to rest, classic mom that will still do things no matter how shitty she feels and the kids are all like no don’t worry about it we can handle ourselves promise but she won’t because she knows they’ll burn the house down (also they’re just a teeny bit scared of her not getting proper rest after AMOD)

Jacob: Fails spectacularly at pretending to be fine. He’s just really bad at covering up illness and/or injury, and having a peculiarity that regularly induces nausea does not help. When he deals with a hollow he can’t go to any fast food places for like a day or two or he will be violently ill and the day he learned that he almost cried

Emma: Keeps working until she physically passes out. Then she is forcibly quarantined by Bronwyn. But in this household we believe in Emwyn so she doesn’t mind it too much.

Millard: Actually willingly rests. Jacob brings him Gatorade and McDonald’s fries from the present, because Gatorade and McDonald’s fries are a cure-all for everything known to man. (Unless he’s sick to his stomach. Only the Gatorade works for that, and Jacob’s still traumatized from the Aston Martin incident.)

Bronwyn: Makes sure she stays away from everyone so as not to get them sick, but she will play drawing games with Olive and Claire (and Horace, if they can get him to play) because she can slide the paper back and forth under the door.

Enoch: He feels fine, he says, while his throat is so fucked up he can barely speak and he coughs every other breath. He says he won’t leave his room because the Bird won’t let him, but it’s really because Horace won’t cuddle with him when he’s that snotty and gross and he’s spent the last three hours sulking about it. Enoch is clingiest when Enoch feels like absolute shit.

Horace: The most DRAMATIC fucker known to mankind. He is dying, he is dead, tell Enoch he wants roses at his funeral. (He’ll be fine in a couple days.)

Olive: Usually plays quietly in her room if she feels good enough for it. Claire will sneak in and play with her until Miss Peregrine reminds her that she’ll get sick too if she stays too long.

Claire: Gets sick the easiest out of everyone. She’ll absolutely deny it and insist she can still go out and play with the others, but she also gets sick the worst aside from Hugh, so most of the time she just has to rest whether she likes it or not.

Hugh: TLDR bees evacuate because worst case scenario whatever he has is making him cough enough to actually cough up/throw up honeycomb. Usually makes the others avoid honey at all costs for a few months, so he just kinda stays in his room slowly dying

Fiona: Spends the day in her greenhouse with whatever kind of tea will make her feel better. What it actually is is proper rest and caring for her body, but Jacob, Enoch, and Olive insist she can photosynthesize the sickness away. Hugh also goes with this, if nothing else to annoy the shit out of Millard.

Noor: Absolutely refuses to go to the doctor and toughs it out herself. She also refuses to take any medicine for any of this, because it’s gross and she’ll be fine, she promises. Fiona’s homemade tea helps

[nobylite]

aitsf + 20, 11, and 9 for the violence ask game

9. worst part of canon: i don't want to say all of aini because that's mean and some parts of it were very good (i would die for ryuki and tama). so i'm gonna go with a toss-up between every time uchikoshi is unnecessarily horny (this includes most characters' treatment of iris and excludes everything tama has ever said) and kaname date's entire character and storyline in aini. making a big deal out of his disappearance only to reveal that he was just in atami and an amnesiac for six years is stupid. having his appearance stay the same because he "had a silicone mask of saito's face" is stupid. everyone had wild pre-release theories on how date could still be in saito's body and nearly every single one of them is more interesting than the truth. this is only the first question and it's already getting so long and i don't care. his entire treatment of aiba and mizuki. he lost aiba in the resolution route, she was the one who made him whole, and you expect us to believe that he'd get into a genuine fight with him and they'd separate? it's like the writers forgot that he's actually a genuinely compassionate person underneath all of his old man bickering. it's why mizuki route works so well- and speaking of mizuki, we were absolutely robbed of a proper reunion in aini. all we got was a poorly timed "welcome home" that was immediately followed up with another porno mag joke. because date's just the porno mag guy, we can't have him show any other emotions for too long or the game will explode. i'm going back to the mask thing real quick- it could've at least been interesting if they went into it as him preferring saito's face to his own. but they didn't. just a "ohhh the ladies like this one more" boy shut UP. i hate you pandering to new fans and defeating the point to a sequel. i love you version of aini that lives only in my head. oh god this is still only the first question. i'm so sorry chey

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered: okay this is easy. i don't need to write an entire essay. only three- 2zuki, dateryu, and ryudate. 2zuki because it's fucking gross, and the ryudate tags because a lot of the fans are annoying and i don't think date would reciprocate. he's bagged the ultimate milf he doesn't have time for some twink

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring: hmm. well if we're going for boring i could say date's character in aini BUT i already wrote a whole essay on that so i'll pick a different answer. a lot of mizuki's side in aini was kind of boring/disconnected. i know in hindsight this is because half of the time you're not mizuki, you're bibi, but when you're playing for the first time you don't know that, and it makes mizuki seem watered down and bland compared to ai1. you have to withhold a lot of information from the player to pull off the timeline twist, and while it works, it comes at the cost of mizuki's characterization. she feels a lot flatter in aini because we're locked out of so much of the narration. the same can also be said for bibi, and we're locked out of even more of her true thoughts since the game misleads us into thinking she's mizuki. the result is that mizuki doesn't feel like herself, and we don't truly get to experience bibi's thoughts. i like bibi but her execution left a lot to be desired

wow that's over 500 words. sorry i have an illness

[devilscreekballad]

not sure if cog will ever change its mind about having exclusive rights to publish, it kinda makes sense as a business model. BUT i hope they will include a proper save system and a back button at some point for accessibility purposes. that's why i shared the link to the plugin, it lets you save when you play on the cog website

I'm a little on the edge about the 'exclusive rights' on ground that CoG does not do much in terms of support or curating.

Okay, ramble incoming, brace yourself:

---

As it is now, there's not a lot being done to keep up a consistent quality level:

There's little to no support once something is published (in some cases bugs that get reported right after release that are on CoG's end (e.g. putting in in-app purchases) aren't fixed for months, and sometimes game breaking bugs exist for years because CoG sees no reason to 'fix it now' or will say that after so long authors aren't obliged to fix stuff anymore. I'm not joking, that was an official statement on it).

The 'guidelines' are all over the place, both in what's in them and whether or not they are actually, well, not enforced, but encouraged. There's games in the main library that seem to have no quality control (no meaningful choices, confusing wording, overly long choice texts, generally unclear flow, etc) and when things are pointed out it's likely Jason will get aggressive towards the people rightfully criticising it (minor example: Gilded Rails. Did you know that the first choice, the 'are you ready' one, sets a difficulty? A lot of people have complained that it's unclear and unnecessary... it has not been changed yet, because in Jason's view it would disturb the immersion to make it clear that it sets the difficulty...)

Even the code itself is a mess:

Cscript is extremely accessible, but lately it feels as if they're trying to do away with it. there's self-proclaimed 'real coders' on the forum that clamour for making Implicit Control Flow standard ('because that's how REAL CODERS (tm) do' and merging *fake_choice and *choice ('because they do the same thing'), completely oblivious that it's these things that make cscript easy to learn, cause as annoying as it error messages are, it helps understand what you need to do where, letting one take stepping stone by stepping stone. But naturally Jason seems to side with those that want to make cscript less accessible to make it 'a real coding language'. wth.

There's also the general, well, false advertising from CoG when it comes to the games' descriptions, especially in terms of wordcount. A lot of people have complained that giving the full wordcount (with code, startup and stats) is misleading, but Jason *insists* on keeping it that way, because apparently writing 'X words total, Y words per average playthrough' would be *more* confusing (?). This is especially grating when you keep in mind that the price is based on the wordcount, and there are games that or more expensive than they should be, cause the wordcount stems from haphazard coding and adding in the startup and stats.

So, yeah, very on the edge about 'exclusive' rights, because while CoG does cover the publishing costs, there's very little done otherwise that would really justify things, imho.

[emoshep]

dragon age veilguard and me not liking it at this time

i've tried to gather some thoughts about dragon age: the veilguard in the days since release.

when i think about games, 'specially story-heavy games like dragon age, i tend to think in terms of story, the world, characters and my relationship to them, stuff like that. while i do obviously think about gameplay mechanics and all that, i tend to focus on the other-than-technical aspects of what makes the game the game. this time it's different. i have some thoughts about the technical side of this game, and i do not mean that in a good way.

as far as first impressions go i have to say, this was not a good one. and mind you, i'm a no thoughts head empty kind of gamer most of the time. i am disturbingly easy to please. so if i'm shitting on a game, that should set off all sorts of alarms. thoughts below the break. spoilers: it's pretty bad.

i'll jump straight in with our central thesis: dragon age veilguard was, and is, not ready for release. within the first 30 minutes of gameplay, hel before the gameplay even begins the bugs are either gamebreaking or so purely awful they might as well be gamebreaking because they sap all fun and pleasure out of the experience.

the first and worst bug i encountered in my time with the game thus far was the load error. it happened just after finishing creating my first character. like, i watched an intro cutscene, then created my character, then clicked the buttons to continue and the game straight up told me "oops, sorry, we've hit a load error you can't continue." then it booted me back to the main menu. so before we even finish the intro and actually get to any gameplay the game is already unravelling at the seams. this bug didn't stop there, either. eventually i was able to actually play some of the game. sounds great, right? so after some time i have to save and after coming back later i try to reload that save. oops, load error. on every save (including auto saves) that had been made to that point. so yeah, that character had to be axed. big sadge, everyone give a brief moment of silence for our enby elven hero Hakim.

i made another character because of the sunk-cost fallacy and i felt a desparate need to get something of worth out of this shiny new game, and by the Maker's grace i get through the introduction. great! now i'm in a base area, the kind you have in bioware games nowadays, no big deal aaaaaaaaand the world has pop-in issues. boy howdy, the pop-in. it's... it's something else. we're not just talking some small objects here and there, like grass or rocks or even npcs. entire sections of the world-space (in a single isolated zone) fail to load before you get to them. i flat out walked out one door and immediately fell off a ledge and voided out because the rest of the world-space hadn't loaded yet. looked real pretty though, after the two minute black screen ended and my character finally respawned in the proper space.

the pop-in doesn't end there, of course. nearly every companion i have met thus far began their story as a floating head. one started out completely invisible because the game couldn't load any of their model before their first cutscene started.

okay, pop-in's pretty bad. what else? stuttering was a major problem, game stopped so frequently to process that i ended up bumping nearly every graphic and display setting down to it's lowest possible setting and managed to scratch out something that was playable. not the end of the world, but annoying for sure.

now, we get to two bugs that absolutely drove me up the wall. even more than the load error, yeah. the stuff i really had to come to tumblr to complain about.

so, what's one of the first things you do when you start a new rpg? in most cases, you create your own character. you spend time in the character creator. you go out of your way to sculpt the face to be just the way you want, often down to the finest details. you get the color of your eyes exactly how you want it. you mull over which hair style you like the best, and lament that none of them are quite right but you pick the closest you can get to what you want. and in many cases, facial marks like tattoos or war paint or something or other. so it was with me in dragon age veilguard, 'specially on the second character. for all my complaining thus far i do like the way my character looks. they look pretty, i like them. well, at some point i have to save and step away. i come back later, i load in, and whaddya fuckin' know, my character's appearance has been reverted to some default face. even the hair defaulted to a short hairstyle that i don't even like. that bit was especially annoying, because all my life i've fucking hated short hair on myself, and now fucking bioware of all things is forcing me to have short hair in-game. just can't catch a fuckin' break, can i?

i don't even know how it's possible to fuck it up this badly. i really do mean that, like for real, how is this even possible? isn't shit like the appearance of your character exactly what things like, i don't know, save files are for? like forgive me for not being a software engineer or game designer, mayhaps i'm just an idiot for this, but part o' me really feels like this is the kind of mistake that would get you a failing grade in your game design class regardless of how perfect the rest of your project is.

oh and we're not done, we got one more (for now lmao), and this was the straw that broke the camel's back. so i get past previous bugs, i find a quick workaround the for the appearance bug except it's only quick if you're already in a certain zone with a certain object so it's actually not quick at all, but i get around stuff at least temporarily. i can finally enjoy the game! yaaayyy! let's get to some questing. we enter a new area, meet some npcs, get some teeny tiny lore drops, even kill some enemies. we hit an objective for our current story quest and march on. then we hit another objective where we have to wipe out the enemies in the area before interacting with the quest object. no big deal, there are only three default enemies.

and lo and behold, they're all invincible.

not "destroy this crystal first" invincible. not "cast this status ailment first" invincible. not even "do this story action" or "attack only from this spot" or "just wait a bit" kinds of invincible. these three low level enemies that need to be killed for me to proceed with the main quest, are completely utterly entirely one hundred percent fucking invincible. no matter how much damage i did, no matter what abilities i used, no matter what weapons i used, nothing worked. their health bars remained full. completely unkillable enemies, in a glorified action-adventure game.

it was at this point that i finally gave up. i have not touched the game since, and i have no intention of doing so for a while. not until i have some sort of guarantee that the game, y'know, works.

this is such a perfect little microcosm for what to me is one of the biggest troubles with the mainstream games industry: this shit is straight up not finished before release. this game was not ready for release when it dropped, and i still don't think it's ready for release now.

now, a hot and mean take that i'm normally hesitant to share that you're more than free to disagree with: a lot of these sorts of things can often be attributed to tight time tables, crunch, bad executive decisions, etc. and in many cases those have absolutely been the deciding factor in how bad a game may have been on release day. but i'm not gonna lie, in cases like this one i'm starting to feel as though some of this stuff is just straight up incompetence. like i feel bad saying that because i've never worked in game development so it feels super judgy and arrogant of me to say, 'specially when i probably wouldn't do much better because i don't know how to do any of that, but that's the only way all of this together makes any sense to me. that someone somewhere in the line royally fucked up on something, and this game just happened to have a lot of those fuck ups clustered together, and the publisher decided to release it anyway because we gotta hit those deadlines. i genuinely don't get it; how do you fuck it up this badly?

i suppose i should share some thoughts on the story i guess, if only to check the box for when someone asks.

uhh yeah it's neat, i like the premise. dunno how others feel about but i'm cool with it story-wise. like i said, easy to please.

anywho i'm running out of words to say so i'm gonna fuck off for now. if you'll please excuse me i'm gonna go play a game that was actually fucking finished before it was released. laters.

[welkinsky]

Congrats to 100 follower ✨💖 you really deserve it. You constantly put quality content out there 🥺

As for your celebration, what about the alphabet for Kakashi? 🥰

Kakashi X Reader | A-Z Headcanon

Masterlist

A-Z Headcanon

Warning: 18+ Content

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Once you two are done and tired, he's gonna take a moment and then turn over to you to smile and adore how flushed you look. He usually kisses your forehead and then pulls you into his chest. Once you two are all calmed down. "You want to hop in the shower baby?" Still running his one hand through your hair. If you say you want to rest a bit more, he gets up to get you water and towels, or if you say yes then expect a "Round 2?" joke on your way, which wasn't actually a joke.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of their partner’s)

Your thighs! Doesn't matter if you have thick thighs or not he likes to grab them while you're on top or you two are just chilling and he is running his hand through them and they slip certain places "by accident"

In a non-sexual way, it is your hair, for sure. He likes to bury his face in them because the scent of the fresh shampoo is relaxing to him. If you change your shampoo he'll notice it right away, expect a new bottle of the same shampoo on the shelf next to your new one the next day.

C = Cuddling

Cuddling with this man is a dream! He likes to be all over you with one leg over yours and your face buried in his chest. Even if you are being the small spoon, his one leg will be over you and your head resting on one of his arm and his other arm over your shoulder pulling you closer to his chest.

Whenever you two are on a nap date, his hand is always resting on you. He becomes restless when he can't find you but calms down after finding you on the other side of the bed. Then just keeps his palm on you rather than pulling you in and waking you up.

D = Dirty Secret

This one time, you two had an idea of taking some nudes together just for fun to see whose turns out to be the better one. You both set a rule to get rid of them after the winner was announced, which never happened since you two were so turned on in the process that you two ended up doing it. You forgot it but he still has your photo with him. Shut up, it helps him on long missions.

E = Experience 

He was not a virgin, but he wasn't much experienced either. If you want to know more about this scenario find it here.

In starting he kept things vanilla, he didn't want to freak you out. But you wanted more but that was the case with you too so this one time you stole his Itcha Itcha to read what type of stuff he was into. AND YOU ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT. You had to read it as fast as you can because he'd notice that it was missing.

And when you suggested something, it was a shock to him because he knows exactly how to do it but to ACTUALLY experience it and that too with YOU? The guy was in actual heaven that day.

F = Favourite Position 

It depends, he is a tease so he likes when you do all the work but just wait till he has your image of having one leg over his shoulder while he's pounding into you and you're all flustered, aaaaand the guy is pinning you down and going at it.

Or if he is IN THE MOOD he's gonna start with you on all fours and will end up having you burring your face in the pillow.

G = Goofy

Hehe he is the best type of goofy. He says the jokes with a straight face while everyone is on the floor dying. He only lets out a small laugh when you are laughing your "so-called ugly laugh" in front of others too.

But sometimes he starts laughing even before cracking the joke because it was that funny, "Oh boy, naah it's nothing" he says wiping a tear, off his one eye. You all will beg him but according to him "the moment is gone" lol he IS a tease.

H = Hair 

His hair is sooooo fluffy! And after how little he looks after them? It is almost a joke on you. You take care of your hair a lot but this guy probably washes it with body wash and still has such good quality. He always says that it is a good diet to trick you into healthy eating too. This guy never misses a chance to do that.

I = Intimacy 

Your emotional intimacy is something that is beyond this world. You both never knew that you were capable of feeling emotions so strongly.  You're hurt? He feels this burning feeling in his heart that he can't get rid of. He is having a nightmare? It breaks your heart that you cannot do anything about what he had to go through.

Not for once have you two felt any sort of negative emotions to one another but just love and CARE! You love your people but for the first time, you've felt that "care" not from the words but actions. 

For the first time, you two have felt that you don't have to do everything on your own, you can divide it and let your guard down for a moment because you know that other one will be there if something goes wrong.

J = Jack Off 

He does it normally when he is out on a mission or away from you for a while. One thought of you can turn him on in that case.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Ohohoho where should I even start? He LOVES to handcuff you because that just gives him more power over what he wants you to feel. Which is why he likes blindfold too.

As your relationship grows he likes the risk factor too so he likes to do it in a tricky place. But while making sure that your reputation doesn't get compromised at any cost.

L = Location (Favourite places to do they do)

Umm isn't it obvious? Anywhere? Literally. But he loves to bend you over the kitchen counter and take you then and there as he enters the house and finds you cooking or just having a drink or something.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

He will do anything you ask for while doing it to make sure that he will be able to see that face of yours when you have just let go and you're too flustered to even care. It shows him that you are enjoying it.

Or if it is just you pleasing him and you look up to him with "puppy eyes" heh don't blame him for what is about to happen to you.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

You risking your reputation for the "risk factor". See, everyone sees you highly in the village and he loves the respect that they give you. He WILL NEVER ruin it just because he is feeling it right now and won't let you do the same too.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

It may not seem like it but he LOVES to give it to you. Actually, if this time it is more of a sensual one then he always starts with eating you only. It is his way of showing that you're his priority.

He has long fingers so umm ya. You're overstimulated most of the time. As much as he loves seeing this, he holds your hand with one while the other one is pumping in and out of you as he plays with your clit with his tongue.

He loves to hold one hand with you even while he is eating you out. Wow.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He starts with "slow as death" ones and then once you're begging to him theeen he goes fast and deep. You ARE lucky to have him honestly :')

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

You don't even have to say anything? You are looking good before you two go out? You'll be doing it before leaving the house.

It's not his fault! You look too good, it's your fault.

And sometimes these quickies turn into something more and you two end up staying home.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Risk who? That's all I'm gonna say.

S = Stamina 

He can go for a lot of rounds. But if he is just back from the mission or has been busy all day and now he is tired. Please don't push him. Not because he is a "poor guy" or something, nooooo, this idiot will get horny and do it anyway. But regret in the morning because he didn't take enough rest.

T = Toy

He bought it only when you two started experimenting so you both have handcuffs (used for you only he doesn't like to be a sub that often), a blindfold, and a vibrator for sure. This fucker likes to edge you a lot.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Heh isn't it clear already? This guy is the definition of being unfair. As you start to get a little annoyed and turn to him and catch him smirking, all that "annoyance" turns into "lust" lol you simp! But can we really blame you?

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

If you are doing it somewhere out? He'll keep shut and even cover your mouth to avoid getting caught. But if he is at home, he will grunt a lot but will let out a loud moan once he reaches his high

W = Wild Card (Just a random headcanon because I cannot think of anything starting with W)

He cooks for you in the morning. That is the only time he can make sure that you have a good healthy meal since he is not there for lunch and you make the dinner.

If he is cooking in the morning then expect your lunch prepared for you too.  *and meal prep for dinner* bro he wants to make sure that you are taking care of yourself because you work too hard okay? Shut up and have your fruits and drink some water as you read this...... Go now, sip some water.

X = X-Ray

He has a lean physique but specifically, his arms are muscular and they are getting buffer after you mention that you like buffed arms. Hehe being slick, okayyyy.

Also, he has long slim fingers, umm good for you.

But you like to draw in his hands too sometimes. Just some little things. He smiles at them as he looks at them later.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He kind of has a strong sex drive. Most of the time if it is because of the fact that he is too excited to try new things on you.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He doesn't sleep until he knows that you are sound asleep. He likes to take in the scent of your hair and just run his fingers through your hair to calm you down a bit. Do it back too, please. He loves it a lot! If you stop and start doing something else, he'll bring back your hand to his hair and make you do it for as long as you don't fall asleep. In any case, he is sleeping once you're asleep.

____________________________

Shikamaru is my favorite character but ya’ll are making me change my lane with how many posts I’ve written for Kakashi XD

Thanks For Reading and for the ask!

If you liked it you can check out the masterlist too!

[absolutepokemontrash]

All Demons are Entitled to Vacation Time (Because the Devildom is not a Dystopia) [Part Two]

Part One

Masterlist

The ending of this little two part fic. I’m glad you guys like Paimon so much! Sorry this took forever! Anyhoo, I recommend reading up on RAD’s School Rules before reading for a little context ^.^ wouldn’t wanna get eaten by the thing that lives under the stage.

Monday

Waiting for troublemakers to show up to detention was always a gamble, which was why Paimon kindly asked Satan and Mephisto to drag the troublemakers to their doom- I mean punishment.

Waiting with his legs dangling off the stage, Paimon was in an unusually good mood. His vacation had done him a world of good, and he was ready to deal with Amii and Murmur. Excitement bubbled in his chest as the seconds ticked by.

“Paimon, it’s 5:55,” Eurynome said as he packed up his flute, his one good eye trained on the clock. “Don’t you need to leave?”

Paimon turned to Eury with a smile that showed off his much longer fangs. He twirled his conductor’s baton in his right hand. “Yep, I know, see you tomorrow Eury.”

Eury shrugged and headed out, holding the door open for Satan and Mephistopheles to drag in Amii and Murmur.

“Oh come on Lord Satan!” Amii whined. “I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“I didn’t either! Oi! Watch the horns!”

Not giving a shred of a fuck, Satan and Mephisto dumped them in the two front seats of the orchestra. Mephisto gave Paimon a wink and the finger games.

“Merry Christmas, buddy!” Mephisto hopped up on the stage and threw a smirk over to Paimon.

“Let’s hurry this up,” Satan drawled, checking his DDD. “It’s almost six o’clock.”

“Oh puh-lease.” Amii crossed their arms and kicked up their feet. “What’s Paimon gonna do, whine at us?”

“Paimon is right here.” Paimon said calmly, the fanged smile not leaving his face.

“Yeah, we can see that buddy.” Murmur snapped before turning back to Satan.

Quickly taking a moment to glance over at the clock, Paimon returned his gaze to the two troublemakers. “It’s really rude not to look at someone when they’re trying to talk to you.”

Amii rolled their eyes and looked at Paimon, her tone was clipped and annoyed. “Just, what the hell do you want?”

“Even if we did anything, s’not like you’re gonna do anything.” Murmur added.

“Pff, yeah, when was the last time you actually managed to deter someone from breaking rules?”

“Or be a club president?”

“Or be a demon in general?”

Murmur let out a very badly disguised snort while Amii giggled like a child. Paimon quietly chuckled and shrugged, when he looked back over at Amii and Murmur his eyes had a faint pink glow to them.

“I guess you’re right, I am a pretty shit excuse for a demon.” Paimon’s grin widened as Amii and Murmur’s giggles quieted. “But it still remains that you destroyed school property, and it cost a lot of money to replace all those instruments you messed up.”

Paimon’s eyes shone brighter as music began to quietly play, Amii and Murmur shifted in their seats.

The music began to echo off the walls, growing louder and louder with each blast of the trumpets. The cacophonous sound crawled into their ears and bounced around the inside of their skulls. It just sounded so… so wrong. Each note was physically painful to listen to, and yet, no matter how hard Amii and Murmur pressed down on their ears, the music didn’t quiet.

And even though Amii and Murmur were practically trying to claw their ears off, Paimon, Satan, and Mephisto were completely fine. Paimon lazily waved his baton around, with every raise of his hand the volume of the music only grew. The three of them were being treated to a show by Paimon’s undead parade. It had been just so long since they got to preform for anyone, and one of the seven rulers of Hell was one hell of an audience.

Satan nodded his head to the beat of the music, the sound entering his, Paimon, and Mephisto’s minds being much more pleasant.

“Hm, you really should preform more often, Paimon.” Satan’s eyes flashed with glee as a smile crawled across his face. “And you just must try this little trick of yours on Lucifer.”

“Pff, could you imagine?!” Mephistopheles said, air conducting with his fingers.

“Now now, I don’t think that’d be terribly proper for Lord Lucifer’s assistant to do,” Paimon said as swished his baton through the air in crisp concise motions. “But I thank you for the compliment, Lord Satan.”

“You promised a show, and you delivered wonderfully.” Satan’s teeth glinted in the light as Murmur let out a shriek of frustration as the music became louder and louder.

“Oh would you look at the time!” Paimon gasped, almost cartoonishly. “5:59… we better leave.”

Paimon hopped off the stage, still waving his baton. He motioned with his other hand for Satan and Mephisto to follow.

“Uh, Pai, what about…” Mephisto inclined his head towards Amii and Murmur who were still squirming in their seats, Paimon smiled sweetly and shrugged.

“Oh, it’s like what they said.” Paimon began, his grin only widening as he held the door open for Mephisto and Satan. “I’m terrible at being a demon and club president, I can’t even enforce the basic school rules. It looks like rule number 2’s about to be broken…”

With one final glance at the two in their seats, Paimon closed the door. “Oh well, can’t be helped.”

——————

“And the paperwork?”

“All delivered to Lord Diavolo.”

“And the preparations for the school festival?”

“They’re underway.”

“The sewing club’s machine’s were replaced?”

“And improved, sir.”

Lucifer looked up from his work and raised an eyebrow. “And the incident in the concert hall from last week?”

Paimon gave Lucifer a thumbs up. “All taken care of, Lord Lucifer.”

“Really now?”

“Yes, the instruments cost a lot to repair and replace, but it won’t impact the club’s budget in any way shape or form.” Paimon explained. “Nothing needs to be ordered in from the cafeteria this week for the concert hall. I have a feeling the thing under the stage is full.”

Appeasing the thing that lived under the stage wasn’t cheap, and replacing the instruments had dug into the budget for feeding it. Amii and Murmur’s were kind enough to make up for their little mistake.

A ghost of a smile appeared on Lucifer’s face.

“Thank you Paimon, that’ll be all.” 

———————

Similar to the first part of this fic, I ended up going back and rewriting this whole thing lmao

Anyway~ I hope you guys enjoyed! Lookit my boy go! Killing his enemies like a real demon :D

[enigma-im]

Third Day of Christmas...

Trope: Enemies to Lovers (NSFW) Relationship: Minotaur x Human Word Count: 4,025

It all started with a note on the door.

Imani didn't expect to find a letter taped to her door that morning, or any morning for that matter. For a good couple of seconds she feared it was from her landlord, an eviction notice of some kind. That went right out the window as she read the chicken scratched handwriting.

Dear apartment 23 resident,

I'd appreciate it if you would keep the noises to a minimum after 10 pm. The singing has kept me up well past midnight. The stomping at all hours has been less than appreciated. Also, I hate to point out that your dog hasn't been a saint either, barking every morning at 7 am. So if you would please, muzzle the dog and stop the late-night parties.

                                 Signed, apartment 15 resident.

Imani is confused for a moment, walking back into her apartment while rereading the letter. All of it is not true, starting with the singing. She does not sing, especially that late in the day. The neighbor on the other hand has a daughter who doesn't understand her own volume, blaring out BTS songs at odd hours. The stomping is a ridiculous accusation, almost typical in these situations. The only time she can admit that her walking would be loud is when she first gets home and hasn't gotten to removing her shoes. Besides then, she is as quiet as a church mouse. An hour after she gets home she spends most of her time lounging in the living room. so how can she be making noises if she isn't moving?

The woman drops the note onto her kitchen table, put off by the audacity. She looks over to her little dog, shaking her head as she thinks back on the next line. Her dog doesn't bark! He is as silent as can be, never even growling. The most this 'resident' can accuse her pooch over is his nails scratching at the floor. Even then that shouldn't even register through the floors.

With the morning turned sour, Imani quickly organizes her things and heads out for work. The whole day is spent thinking hard on her letter, thinking about what needs to be done. Should she ignore it? Pretend she never got it and go on with her life? That would be the easy approach, even kinder one, but she ain't that kind of bitch.

When she got home late that day she storms into the kitchen, making sure to stop with her shoes still on, and grabs a notebook. She jots down a little message for 'resident 15' with as much passive aggression as she can put into words.

Dear resident 15,

The bold claims you have taped to my door have been read. I'd like to take the time to inform you of your misguided claims. I, for one, am not the local American Idol star. That award goes to Tiny Tina in apartment 22. I don't know why you have such an issue with her music, BTS songs are a bop.

Next on the list is my 'stomping'. Excuse me for correcting you again, but I do not 'stomp' around my apartment. The minute I get home from work I am sitting on my ass watching television till it's time for bed. So I ask you, how can I be stomping around if my feet do not move off the couch?

Finally, my dog. My dog is a saint, for your information, he is the quietest animal I have ever owned. I haven't heard so much as a peep from him since he was a puppy. Maybe check around for other noisy pooches because mine isn't the problem.

With this all said, I hope you find a solution to your problem because bugging me was not it.

                                       Sincerely, resident 23

Signed, sealed, and ready to be delivered. The next morning on the way to work she tapes the little note to the numbers on unit 15. smug, she walks out of there with her head held high.

Feeling proud of herself even further into the day she isn't ready for the speedy reply taped to her door, along with a missing doormat. With a huff, she snatches the note and heads inside. She unfolds the sheet, reading:

Dear 23,

I am not mistaken, and I'm taking your welcome mat until you know how to be a proper upstairs neighbor.

                                         -15

She gawks at the letter, put off by the blatant admission of theft. Are they a child, taking away things as a punishment? This is completely idiotic! She should march downstairs and confront the fool who thinks this is a proper course of action. Well, she would if she didn't also want to get back at them.

Throwing the paper onto the coffee table she flops down on the couch to think. What is the best way to get back at them?

A floor below rests Church the Minotaur. He is getting ready to go on a run, sliding on his sneakers as he opens the door. Glance to the side he catches sight of a gaudy plethora of stickers and glitter, his door dressed to the 9s with rainbows. He is taken aback, looking at the decorations with ire. Above it all sits a folded up piece of paper taped to the door. He quickly snatches it, reading it.

15,

Return the doormat and I'll clean your door.

                                    -23

Church chuffs, grinding his teeth as he looks to the door again. He didn't think he was being unfair when he first gave them a letter. It was a polite way to ask them to shut up. He just wanted some sleep, was that too much to ask? He looks to the door again, apparently, it was.

Imani opens the door fully expecting the letter. With a bit of a pep in her step, she grabs it, reading it as she walks to her car. She snorts, crumpling the paper and tossing it in the trash.

23,

This means war

                           -15

The next few weeks are filled with pranks of varying variety. The two start small, Imani stomping around upstairs with her heaviest pairs of boots, Church banging his hand against the ceiling during the quiet hours of the night. Next with more glitter courtesy of Church, a well-timed package that exploded in Imani's kitchen. He swears he could hear her surprised scream from below. Imani gets him back with a similar package, one with a jump scare card.

It's a back forth of one-upping the other. Church orders Imani eight pizzas, forcing her to reluctantly pay for it when seeing the nervous kid trying to deal with the mix-up. Imani manages to hook her phone to his Bluetooth speakers, playing random screams at all hours of the night. Church gets her back by attaching an alarm to her door so when walked out that morning she was startled by a firetruck worthy honk.

It seems it’s the last straw for Church when he receives his own glitter bomb of confetti cocks. It gets caught on the carpet, sneaking into the couch cushions, and sticking to his clothes. Quickly dusting himself off he charges upstairs, reaching her door and banging on it. He taps his foot frustrated and angry.

The door clicks open, Church already ready with his rant. Imani is equally prepared, excited with the chance to chew him a new one. When the two see each other they stumble on the words, looking one another over with confusion. Neither of them expected the other to be anything but some angry middle-aged person looking for a fight. They hardly assumed that the other would be so…attractive.

"I, uh," church shakes his head," You! A damn dick bomb? Do you understand how ingrained they are into my carpet? I sent you a cheap one, something you can easily clean up but you couldn't even consider that!"

"What," Imani comes back to her own," those craft herpes were not easy to clean, I'm sure it's still in the kitchen now and staining my clothes. So don't you dare come at me with 'woe is me' look like you had any consideration at all for my floors."

"Well excuse me, I didn't hack into your speakers to play Halloween screams all through the night. I damn near had a heart attack at 2 in the morning because of you," he points to her, debating on jabbing her in the chest. She slaps his hand away before he gets the chance, scoffing.

"At least I didn't make you spend money on eight pizzas! Do you know how much eight pizzas cost? It was like seventy bucks. I'm just glad you didn't splurge on something more than a single topping pizza. But fuck you for making them all pineapple you monster," she bites back.

The two ramble on long enough for the neighbors to peek their heads out. Embarrassed, they close out their argument with a huff and a door slam. Church heads off to his apartment, falling onto the couch while grumbling to himself. Imani growls and mumbles in her bed. They both can't help the thought that ruins all their anger:

God, they were hot.

The pranks don't stop in their frequency. The two continue, using their frustrations at their traitorous thoughts to fuel their revenge.

Imani still plays with his speakers, using screamo songs to annoy him in the afternoons. Church booby traps her door again with more glitter, his preferred weapon as of lately. She takes up tap dancing, he pays the kid next door to blare BTS near the shared wall of her apartment. She puts a fake ticket on his car, he puts vulgar stickers on her's. the childish game goes on and on.

Imani sits in her room one night, frustrated beyond belief with the sexy minotaur. She can't get his face out of her head. Why did he have to be cute? It's not like it makes the little game they have going harder to do. No, it just makes it seem more than it is. She has to constantly catch herself praising his wit in some of the stunts he pulls. Scolding herself nonstop for wanting to stop by his place and yell at him some, just to see him. It's stupid, wanting to actually get to know him.

Church relaxes in bed, feeling more bothered than Imani. He has hit a bit of a dry spell in his sexual life, or his solo sexual life. He can't jerk off without picturing the little hellspawn upstairs. It would be easy to give in and just think of her but it would be too much. She is an enemy, not a potential interest. So what if she is one of the sexiest humans he has ever seen? Who cares if her ability to keep up with him in this little war is kind of turning him on? It doesn't matter, right?

He sighs in defeat, "I don't think I can believe that even if I tried," he grunts as he clenches his shaft.

Imani is at home setting up her next plan when someone knocks on the door. She looks to the clock surprised at someone visiting this hour. Confused, and cautious, she gets out of bed and walks to the door. Looking through the peephole she rolls her eyes at who she sees.

Imani opens the door," if this is about the folk music I'll tell you now I'm not changing it back."

"No," he growls," this is about the tap shoes. Metal on wood makes for some very undesirable sounds."

"Well, excuse me for trying to take up a new hobby. What about you paying off the kid next door to play her music next to my wall? I swear that little demon doesn't sleep," Imani scolds.

"Speaking of little demons, can you for the love of god shut your dog up. Every morning I hear his damn barking and I'm seriously debating calling someone," he takes a step into her space, scowling at the dog behind her.

"He doesn't bark," she pokes at his chest," I have never heard him even make a yelp since he was a puppy so I suggest you come up with a better lie than that."

"A lie," he shouts," your fucking dog barks, stop thinking he is some sort of mute."

"He does not," she shouts back.

"Does too," he steps closer.

"Does not," she raises her chin.

"Does too," he grabs her hips.

"Does not," she tugs at his shirt.

"Does too," he says, lowering closer to her. Before she can get her turn he quiets her with a rather harsh kiss, mashing his lips to hers. They grapple one another, pulling the other closer as they stumble into her apartment.

Church kicks the door shut as he fumbles with her shirt. She helps, parting from him long enough to cast the clothing aside. He tugs her back in for a sloppy kiss, delving his tongue into her mouth as she unbuttons his top. Thrusting his shirt down his arms while they bump into the sofa. Church beings unclasping her bra, uncoordinated as she sucks on his tongue.

The two fall to the couch, church not wasting any time with her freshly revealed tits. Imani gasps, petting down his chest to his pants. As he suckles on a nipple as she pulls him from his pants, holding his cock in her hand. He stutters in his attentions, panting heavily against her chest as she jerks him off.

"Oh, fuck," he groans.

"Like that big boy," she steals his attention, him looking at her cocky smile.

"Shut up," he reaches down to her pants, palming her through her jeans. She bucks into his hand, rolling her eyes at his smirk. He quickly discards her bottoms, tossing them away without a care. He watches her as he pets at her pussy, delving between her lips to feel how soaked she is for him.

"Am I wrong to assume this is all for me," he pushes a finger in. she clenches her jaw, groaning from the intrusion. He chuckles, feeling rather confident as she rides his hand. Not caring for his large ego she reaches for his cock once more, feeling him throb in her grip.

"Am I wrong to assume this is all for me," she mimics back smugly. He throws her an annoyed look, removing his fingers and slapping her hand away. Dropping a hand beside her head he leans down, looking between them as he prods his cock to her pussy. They both flinch, eager above all else. They both watch as his head parts her lips, poking at her clit with short nudges.

"You think I can make you scream like those damn Halloween recordings," he jokes as he grinds into her.

"No, I don't think you have the stamina," she jabs back, trying to stop the urge to buck against him. Church leans down and nuzzles against her neck, pressing a sweet kiss under her jaw.

"I guess we will just have to see," he grins, feeling less confident than his words suggest. His cock is damn near ready to burst with just his tip being coated in her sweet juices.

Church reaches between them, pressing his cock to her entrance. He guides his tip in, stretching his arm up to rest it beside her head. The only warning he gives her is a sultry smile before he shoves forward, both crying out at the suddenness.

"Oh, shit," Church whimpers beside her ear. Imani grabs at his arms, feeling utterly stuffed. He pulls back, thrusting forward quickly. Imani appreciates him not wasting time just pistoning into her. The need has been building up all week, the denial adding a new level of appeal to this want.

He rams into her, listening to her try to hide her cries of pleasure. He feels her body tell him what he needs to know, feels her walls pulling him in with every buck of his hips. She wants him as badly as he wanted her. It's satisfying to church to know this. To know that she needs this as much as he does. Not wanting to miss a thing he sits up, grabbing her hips as he does.

"Look at you," he groans," trying to hold back those little moans and whimpers. Don't fight it, babe, I wanna hear you." Imani startles herself with a cry, arching her back as his words add kindle to the fire. She wants to pretend this isn't happening, that she isn't getting fucked by her apartment enemy. But damn, does it feel fantastic.

Church watches her writhe on the couch, his stomach clenching as he tries to fight off cumming at the sight. Her tits bounce with each clap of their hips and it's driving him wild. Reluctantly he shuts his eyes, thinking about anything else to prolong this blissful torture.

Imani wails and whimpers as her insides are set aflame. As her orgasm comes rushing to the forefront she locks her legs around his waist, grinding like a madwoman into his thrust. She cries out her pleasure, utterly wrecked as she falls apart.

Church chokes on his breath as she clenches around him. He can barely think as she holds him in a vice grip. His hips go wild as he finds himself coming to an end. It's only half a thought that he undoes her legs and pulls out, grinding against her as he cums on her stomach. Imani watches in rapture as he tosses his head back and moans, the sound going straight to her already throbbing clit. She watches him spray out over her and she can't look away for even a second.

Church falls onto his hands, panting as he holds himself over her. He can't believe it. He got to fuck the cute hellspawn that has been tormenting him all month. At this moment he couldn't even think about the countless hours of sleep missed because of her little pranks. Right now all he can think of is holding her close and taking a much-needed nap. As he attempts the action he looks to her stomach.

Imani is bone-deep satisfied. Her body is relaxed against the couch and she feels like she's on cloud nine. She hardly notices when Church climbs off her, his footsteps fading away. When she does notice, it stabs at her heart a little. She watches him button up his pants, reaching to the floor to grab his shirt. I guess he's leaving, she thinks.

Church grabs his shirt from the floor, bunching it up as he turns back to her. She looks surprised when he crouches beside her and mops up the mess on her stomach with his top. He wants to laugh at the shocked expression but bites his cheek against it. With her all clean he tosses the shirt away and crawls in beside her. The couch is rather small so he lifts her onto his chest, lounging on his back. He cradles her against his front, ready to take a well-deserved nap.

Imani is rather confused as she watches him fall asleep. She fully figured he would dip after everything, she surely didn't expect anything from this. They were still in a war. A truce was never called but she can't help but think this changes something.

Shrugging, she snuggles up to him, enjoying his soft fur against her cheek. This is a problem she will deal with in the morning.

Imani wakes up alone in her bed. She is nearly tempted to figure the night with Church was all a dream till she feels the subtle ache in her legs. Ride a bull, you should expect some soreness. She chuckles to herself as she dresses. Walking into the kitchen she prepares for a lazy day indoors while she figures out how to deal with Church and her's relationship. As she gets ready to feed her pup does she realize the lack of said pooch.

"uh, Giovani," she calls out. No answer. She calls out again, searching around her apartment frantically. Did he get out while the door was open last night? Surely she would have noticed if he managed to sneak past. She rounds the apartment again just in case before she runs to the door, throwing it open in a rush. Out of the corner of her eye, she spots something hanging on her peephole. She tenses at the sight, snatching it.

Imani I have your dog Church

Imani scoffs, crumpling the letter as she marches downstairs. She can't believe she let herself think that things would change between them. That this little prank war can be swapped out for an actual relationship, friendship or otherwise. Above all, she can't believe he stole her dog.

Rounding the corner and stopping at door 15 she pounds her fist against the wood. She continues pounding till the door opens, revealing a smirking Church.

"Hello, babe, what brings you here so early," he asks, leaning against the frame.

"You stole my fucking dog, I want him back," she snaps, no ounce of playfulness available. Church nearly stutters on his act, a little worried about her protectiveness over her dog.

"Now, I stole him for his own good," he explains," with his separation anxiety I figured it is best if he got used to my apartment since I'm going to take up training him."

Imani scoffs," Excuse me? My dog doesn't have separation anxiety nor does he need to be trained by some dog snatching idiot with horns."

Church deadpans," idiot with horns?"

"It's early, they can't all be gold," she rolls her eyes," doesn't matter, give me my dog back."

Church shakes his head, frustrated at her denial. Instead of answering her, he calls for the pup, leaning down to pet him when he comes trotting over. With the dog properly excited he takes a step into the hallway with Imani and shuts the door. Imani looks from him then back to the door.

"What are you doing," she asks.

"Just wait," he holds up a finger. They both stand silently, nothing happening. Imani opens her mouth to acknowledge the ridiculous of waiting in front of a door when her dog begins whining, yelping loudly from inside the apartment. Church looks over to her with a smug grin, "Told you he barks."

Imani flusters, gawking at the door and listening to her dog cry out. Church opens the door, the pup running out and jumping at Imani. Still embarrassed, she pets at her dog before picking him up and walking away. Church watches her turn the corner, not saying a word as she departs. He sighs.

It's a good day of nothing that picks at Church. Surely he didn’t push too far, he didn't really intend to keep her dog so it wasn't that mean. He just wanted to prove that her dog did bark, finishing the month-long war on a hopeful note. It wasn't meant as another attack against her. He really did intend to help by offering to train her dog.

Throughout the day he debates going up there and apologizing, to offer an olive branch of some kind so he can actually get to know her. Last night for Church was…amazing. It was something he wants to do again, to explore further. That may be a pipe dream now.

Late into the afternoon church gets a knock on his door. He jumps up, feeling rather stupid as he quickly answers the door. Expecting Imani he is left disappointed as no one is there. No one could have left that fast. He looks down the hall, left to right. Nothing. With a defeated sigh he begins to close the door. He stops when a fluttering piece of paper catches his eye. Excited, he snaps it off the door unfolding it swiftly.

Church,

Dinner at my place, 8 pm

                               -Imani

Church smiles to himself, refolding the paper and heading back inside to get ready.

[before-the-black-pearl]

I made those modern Jack and Fitzy headcanons over a year and a half ago. I started writing a modern!AU fic since then so I developed the headcanons more and I wanted to share some of them. Keep in mind this may be a little different than what I present in the actual fic. I’m making some shit up on the spot.

So picture this: The young Jack Sparrow books taking place today and all the characters are in high school in Tampa, Florida, and the school is called...

Barnacle High School

Jack the “I was at the door when the bell rang” Sparrow:

He’s one of The Boyz🥶🥵😎 But like the stupid kind who thinks they’re better than everyone else.

He’s a troublemaker and creates a lot of mischief around campus.

Mischief includes but not limited to: pulling the fire alarm multiple times, drilling holes between the boys and girls gym locker rooms, defaced a bunch of textbooks with The Boyz drawing dicks on every single page, one time he snuck into the office and played pr0n on the schoolwide intercom speaker, a time he gave everyone “shits and giggles” (laxative and weed) brownies at a school dance and caused everyone to shit and puke all over the gym floor and it made the news,..... How tf isn’t he expelled?

Unsurprisingly he gets in fights. The fights are half of the time started by other students, but gets in trouble anyway.

Constantly interrupts the teachers to the point where they write him up or kick him out.

Sometimes fucks with the quiet kids like “Hey, mate, do you know what we’re doing?” “Can you like teach it to me?” “You can do it for me, right?” “Why don’t you ever talk, mate?”

He’s actually pretty smart but the teachers don’t like him and home sucks so he gave up.

Probably has ADHD.

Wears layers, like leather, denim, flannels, t-shirts, hoodies, jeans of various “tightness”, studded belts, many pairs of combat boots or knockoff timbs. Half his shit is from Goodwill.

Undercuts for dayyyzzzz. Think Coming Storm cut but the bottom is shaved off.

Still wears his nasty ass bandana even though the teachers always tells him he can’t wear it in class.

His makeup literally always slaps.

He likes to collect random things and sometimes puts them on his clothes or his backpack or in his locker.

Obsessed with dead things (furs, pelts, bones, stuffed animals, etc)

Has a fascination with the sea and likes the nautical aesthetic.

Bonus: Yeah he totally vapes.

Arabella the “Shut up and let me work” Smith:

She’s the “good kid” and sometimes the “quiet kid.” Jack definitely fucks with her in class sometimes until she pops off and they both get written up.

She’s an honors student and exceeds well in her classes.

She’d rather blend in with the crowd and not many students really notice her. She keeps herself contained in a small group of friends.

If she’s not with her friends, she’s probably in the library.

She’s really into Art and History.

Kind of a conspiracy nut and likes reading into urban legends and stuff.

Infodumps about her interests to Jack and he gets hella annoyed.

Jack sometimes follows her around and she gets hella annoyed but she gets sad when he’s not around.

Mediates between Jack and Fitz.

Jack and Fitzy fight over her. Jean has shown a little interest in her too.

She ate the “giggles” from Jack’s brownies. She got so fucked up she had a panic attack and left the dance really early before all the chaos began in the gym.

Kinda looks like she hasn’t really left 2015...like basic white girl with knit sweaters and cardigans, t-shirts and tanks, leggings, boots or sandals, etc. Sometimes also wears hoodies and jeans.

Headbands and beanies and cottagecore-like bandanas.

Yeah her makeup slaps too.

She works for her father after school at the Tortuga Tavern, formerly named Faithful Bride before it was forced to change to something more “PC.”

Fitzwilliam the “My uncle is the principal” Dalton (the third):

Basic snobby rich kid.

President of every “snobby kid club”; the Chess Club, the Key Club, the Student Council, and Yearbook.

Also an athlete and is in the school’s track team and soccer team.

Is in a clique with his equally snobby friends.

Yeah but he’s like hella proper.

He’s well educated and knows several different languages.

Hella ignorant about certain shit tho.

Big fuckin FLEXER with his expensive name-brand clothing and tech.

Lies about being friends with celebrities and online influencers and shit.

Ate one of the “shits” brownies....Just leaving that to the imagination until I make a one-shot.

Drippin’ Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Michael Kors, Coach, etc... Literally like full fucking tracksuits, knit sweater over button-up combo, fancy coats, name-brand t-shirts, jeans over hundreds to thousands of $$$, shoes costing almost as much as rent.

The pocketwatch from the books is a fancy golden $30,000 Rolex wristwatch.

Jack keeps taking his watch.

Wears his hair up in a manbun like it’s still 2015 and Jack keeps teasing him about it.

Yeah got like a brand new iPhone and and iPad and a really expensive laptop and an iWatch even though I already got a regular watch on my other wrist.

Jean the “I swear to god she’s like my sister” Magliore:

Y’all know it, he’s in the Anime Club.

Jean and Tumen are best friends, and in my story, foster brothers.

Likes video games and always has his Nintendo Switch with him.

Internet memelord and low key has “band kid” energy.

Always be sending Tumen or the “Barnacle Crew” group chat memes.

Being from New Orleans is a personality trait and is very enthused with his Creole roots and loves creole dishes.

He runs a foodie Instagram account with a large following. Self proclaimed foodfluencer.

Sometimes sells candy and chips at school. Gets in trouble for it.

Yeah he ate multiple brownies at the dance....

Jean has a cat Constance, named after his deceased sister, he brings to school hidden in his backpack.

Constance will literally eat just about everything, mimics human noises, and her expressions are very human-like according to Jean. Her traits are so much like his sister, Jean believes she is his sister born as a cat in a new life.

He made Constance her own Instagram account.

Jack HATES Constance. Constance LOVES Jack.

Hoodies, jeans, headphones, beanies.

His hair is the same but a bit shorter.

“Suspiciously quiet kid” Tumen:

The quiet kid sitting in the back of the class and drawing while listening to music.

He is also in the Anime Club with Jean.

Since Jean is into video games, Tumen is a weeb.

Jean is the only person he really hangs out with at school.

Tumen doesn’t have a phone in my fanfic but for the purpose of this headcanon and the group chat, he does have one.

He’s more of a “lurker” in the GC.

Jean’s #1 meme reactor.

He watches anime crack videos.

Tumen is the most “immature” than the others since he’s the youngest.

The only one who didn’t eat the brownies. Got interviewed on the news.

He takes pride in his Mayan heritage.

Has a random interest in geography and wants a career as a cartographer.

Anime t-shirts and hoodies galore.

Always has his hood up in class.

Teachers always telling him to put his hood down.

Tim “the newbie” Hawk:

He eventually transfers to Barnacle High.

I don’t have a full headcanon written for him yet.

Principal Lawrence Norrington:

Principal of Barnacle High.

Fitzwilliam’s uncle.

HATES Jack Sparrow.... Again how tf is Jack not expelled?

Brings his kid James to work sometimes even though the kid should be at school himself.

Jack sitting in the principal’s office in trouble again and James keeps bugging him. “Do you play Fortnite?” “No. Beat it, kid.”

Tia Dalma:

The school nurse.

Jack is buddies with her and he goes to her and pretends to be sick when he wants to ditch class.

Has crab parts in jars in the cabinets. No one questions it.

Joshamee Gibbs:

The janitor.

He’s in the Navy but he’s on off-duty employment.

Jack is buddies with him too.

He writes Jack fake doctors notes or signs permission slips or covers for Jack when he’s ditching, in exchange for booze Jack has at home.

He had to clean up the gym after the brownies incident ☹️

I don’t know how to write Davy Jones into this.

For the sake of this headcanon, it would be funny if Torrents was like a science teacher or something. Or if Madame Minuet was like an economics or math teacher. Or if Silverback is an English teacher. Or if Left-Foot Louis is a PE teacher and he’s all running in circles because he’s got two left feet lol.

Btw all these teachers HATE Jack 😂

[madd-information]

Have you watched Kati Morton's new video about Maladaptive Daydreaming? What do you think about it?

[intro]

For years, I believed maladaptive daydreaming to be a form of dissociation, but it could also be added to the DSM as its own diagnosis, since it does have its own set of unique symptoms. Either way, at this time maladaptive daydreaming is not listed in the DSM as a diagnosable mental illness.

I was concerned because her last couple videos on the topic were very confusing to watch and seemed to conflate MD with the inner-worlds of DID.  It looks like she has done some more research on it and is going to make a more informed video. This is great and I deeply appreciate that she’s taking the time to do a proper dive into this. 

The closest diagnosis would be DPDR, or depersonalization derealization disorder. And this is the diagnosis given to those of us who struggle with dissociation. [explanation of DPDR]

Gonna need you to source that Katie, I’ve never heard an MD researcher say something like this.  When they talk about MD they call it a behavioral addiction with OCD features which is related to dissociative absorption (different from derealization and depersonalization, these two dissociative experiences are not particularly significant in MD, though they can happen.)

These experiences are extremely common. It's estimated that half of all adults have had at least one episode of DPDR. 50% of people. That is a huge amount of people.

Cool but not sure it’s at all relevant to the video topic. 

Also, it's important to mention that in 2016, four researchers put together the Maladaptive Daydreaming Scale, or MDS. This is a 14-item self-reported scale, meaning that you as the patient answers 14 questions based on your own maladaptive daydreaming experience.

It’s a 16 item scale now, it was changed very early on and has been 16 for years.  This is a very small and forgivable knitpick, just fyi. 

The MDS focuses on the content of our daydreams, how intense the urge to continue daydreaming is, and how much it impairs our ability to function in our lives, and the benefits and costs of our daydreaming. I am not personally familiar with this scale, nor have I used it in my practice, but I've linked the research article in the description if you wanna learn more about it.

A good description, and here’s that link again for anyone who wants to read about the finer details of this scale. 

When it comes to maladaptive daydreaming, it isn't just feeling out of body or environment. We can create very intense and detailed daydreams with plots, characters, and very lifelike issues and storylines. Some people will get the plots for their daydreams from their real lives, while others can create a utopian place unlike their current experience.

Yep, decent overview of content, though content doesn’t matter that much.  Also, use of “we”.  Is Katie Morton an MDer or was this a creative choice?  I don’t know, just a passing thought. 

We can find ourselves staying in these daydreams for various amounts of time. And some of my patients have reported staying in them for hours. And many of you have let me know that you struggle to get out of them at all, spending days in this other life that we've created.

Yep, good overview, but more importantly she’s listening to her patients and the feedback of MDers in her audience.

...there are many causes for this, and the first I wanna address is trauma triggers. If we've experienced a trauma in our life, things that remind us of that time or situation can pull us into a flashback, cause us to dissociate, or in many cases push us into our maladaptive daydreams.

When our brain and the rest of our nervous system feels overwhelmed and unable to deal with what's going on in the moment, it can pull us out of our current situation through dissociation. I always talk about that, like our brain pulling the ripcord. And it can also utilize maladaptive daydreaming. It's a way to cope or get through an overwhelming situation when we don't have other skills to help calm our nervous system down. So we just rely on what we know, and that can be daydreaming or dissociating. It's almost like this coping skill protects us from having to feel traumatized again and so it takes us away, you know, drops us into a much safer and happier place.

Trauma is always talked about first when people do overviews of MD.  She’s not wrong but just to add more information;  about a quarter of MDers report trauma, the other 75(ish)% don’t.  It’s a significant number but trauma is not the only pathway to MD.  Sometimes people walk away from these videos feeling like “well, I don’t have any trauma, maybe I don’t really have MD”.  That’s not a comment on what Katie has presented, she does go into other things below, just adding on.

Another cause or trigger can be high levels of stress or anxiety. We can slowly feel ourselves become more and more overwhelmed until our brain pulls us out of our reality and into a new one, aka our maladaptive daydreams. In short, we can want to stay in these daydreams to feel better and safer, but it can get in the way of us functioning in our life.

Yep

[audience anecdotes]

...Which is why even the term maladaptive daydreaming is used. Maladaptive means it's not providing adequate or appropriate adjustment to the environment or situation. So the daydreaming is only holding off the bad things. It's not actually making anything better or helping us process any of the upset. It's really just a temporary check-out, which can be helpful sometimes, but if it's happening all the time or making it hard for us to focus at work, school, or with our friends and family, we should find other, better ways to cope.

Exactly.

Which moves us into how we can better cope so that we don't get sucked into our daydreams for hours, days, or even weeks. And first up is mindfulness. Now, I know that term is overused now and super annoying but in order for us to know when we even need to use other coping skills, we have to know when the daydreaming urges are happening. So often we aren't aware of what we were feeling or thinking until it's too late and we're already pulled into our daydream. And at that point it's more difficult or even impossible for us to pull ourselves out. Therefore, we have to start being more aware of what we're going through.

[continues explanation]

Perfection.

And so next is figuring out ways to calm our system down. This can take the form of a distraction technique like going for a walk or organizing a part of our home, coloring, watching a show, playing a video game, you name it. These calming things could also be more process-based, things like journaling or talking to your therapist or a friend about it, or even using an impulse log. [Continues with calming things]

Good examples, MD researchers specifically recommend keeping a log.

We're also going to have to find some coping skills that we can use when we're starting to feel overwhelmed and wanting to go back into the daydream. Maybe we hold an ice cube in our hands, clap our hands, count the number of things in the room that are blue, brown, black… whatever works for you, do it.

Good stuff. 

And it's okay for something not to work. We just have to try it to know and then move on to something else.

Important point to make, happy to see this. 

Once we have a few things that work, write them down in your phone or on a post-it note so that you can see it and be reminded when you need it. We will also need to come up with some ways to pull ourselves out of the daydream. And I know this is gonna be harder and we may even wanna call upon helpful and supportive people in our lives to assist us.

Good advise. 

We could, because it's our daydream, right, we could put a big door in our daydream and we can choose to go through it and pull ourselves out, or have people in the daydream that remind us of our real life and tell us to go back.

A good suggestion.  Q, on the Parallel Lives Podcast (I can’t remember which episode off the top of my head), did something like this by turning to his characters and saying “ok, take 5 guys, we’ll pick it up at xtime”, and many people have found that to be a clever and helpful method. 

Now, I know this is really, really hard… which rolls into my final tip, which is to work with a therapist to heal from the trauma or to learn how to better cope with the anxiety or stress we're feeling. Working to heal or process through the reason our maladaptive daydreaming exists in the first place will ensure that we don't need it anymore.

Absolutely seek professional support if you can. 

... if we heal the issue we're struggling to cope with, the urge to use those unhelpful coping skills will go away altogether.

[outro]

I think this last point will frighten a lot of MDers.  It’s probably the brevity of the video that didn’t allow her to really expand on this, and I certainly don’t want to put words into her mouth that she may not have intended.�� Don’t be afraid of losing your MD.  “Curing” Maladaptive Daydreaming does not mean “I’ll never see my world again.”  You’ll always have the capacity to daydream like this, you were born this way, but it *doesn’t* have to be maladaptive. Like overeating, you will never not eat, you will fix your relationship with food. 

Good video overall, brief but accurate and includes the standard helpful advise. 

[nobodyfamousposts]

How do you think the episode Ladybug would have played out if Felix was there?

Well, if Felix were there, it could go any number of ways…

(Test Answers)

Bustier: Marinette, you have been accused of stealing the test answers and hiding them in your bag.

Felix: Why are you saying this out loud for all of us to hear? Isn’t that a breach of privacy?

Bustier: Well…

Felix: And why would she even keep the answers in her bag the day after the test if she did steal them?

Bustier: That’s…actually a good point.

Felix: Marinette, did you leave your bag unattended at any time since taking the test?

Marinette: Well, yes. There are plenty of points where we leave our bags in the classroom. Or our lockers.

Felix: Good lord, it’s probably been free game to anyone then. Don’t open it until we can have someone inspect it first.

Bustier: Isn’t that a bit extreme?

Felix: Isn’t accusing someone who has no history of cheating or theft of test answers in front of an entire class without actual evidence or any real investigation extreme?

Bustier: …Touche.

Lila: …Dammit.

(“Anonymous Source”)

Bustier: An “anonymous source” said that Marinette stole the test answers. So Marinette and Lila, go to the Principal’s Office.

Felix: Wait—that means the person making the claim was Rossi.

Bustier: Well, I didn’t SAY it was Lila.

Felix: It’s pretty obvious it was. Which means she’s lying and probably set this up.

Lila: That hurts my feelings! *Sob* *Sob*

Bustier: Felix, would Lila really do a thing like that?

Felix: You mean the same girl previously lied to one classmate to guilt another classmate into allowing her unauthorized entry into his home where she lied to his caretakers, infringed on his personal space, and used the opportunity to send out an inappropriate picture he never consented to of a kiss he also never consented to? Yes. Yes, I’m pretty sure she would.

All: …

Nino: Hey wait! I thought you said you weren’t into Adrien like that? What gives?

All: (Turn on Lila)

Lila: …Dammit.

(Stairs)

Felix: (Arrives at school late, grumbling under his breath) Stupid traffic. (Looks up to see Lila come to bottom of stairs)

Lila: (Calmly lays on ground and suddenly cries out in pain) Ow! Ow! Marinette, how could you push me down the stairs?

Felix: The hell?

Principal Damocles: (Angry, at Marinette) To my office!

Felix: Hang on a second! That’s not what just happened!

Lila: (Realizes Felix was there and just saw the whole thing) …Dammit.

(Stairs Part 2)

Lila: *Sob* *Sob*

Felix: You don’t look that injured.

Lila: *Sob* *Sob* But I am! It hurts sooooo much!

Felix: Then clearly you ned an ambulance. I’ll call one for you.

Lila: (Nervous now) T-that’s not necessary!

Felix: I’ve called an ambulance. And your mother.

Lila: …Dammit.

(Stairs Part 3)

Lila: She pushed me down a flight of stairs!

“Responsible Adults”: Marinette! How could you! Don’t you know how badly that could injure her?

Marinette: But—but I didn’t!

“Responsible Adults”: (Give Lila a bandage)

Felix: Wait—she just said she fell down a flight of stairs and the most you’re doing is giving her a bandage? This isn’t an anime! Why aren’t you taking her to a hospital?

Lila: You don’t need to go THAT far.

Felix: That’s probably a concussion talking.

Lila: It isn’t! Really!

Felix: What kind of responsible authority figures are you people, anyway? A bandage? Are any of you even medically trained?

Principal Damocles: Young man, can you imagine what that would sound like to the public?

Felix: Yes. It sounds like a lawsuit for not getting proper medical assistance for a student in your care.

Principal Damocles: Point taken. I’ll call a hospital to get her checked out before we continue with this investigation.

Lila: But—!

Bustier: I’ll contact her mother to let her know what’s going on!

Lila: …Dammit.

(Necklace)

Lila: That’s my family heirloom! Marinette stole it!

Felix: This thing? An heirloom?

Lila: Yes! It has been passed down through my family for generations!

Felix: Even though it’s clearly from the Gabriel brand?

Lila: …It was his ancestor’s creation!

Felix: And part of a line I am quite sure was only recently released within the last two years?

Lila: He was inspired by it!

Felix: And has “made in China” written on the back?

Lila: …Dammit.

(Necklace Part 2)

Lila: See? Marinette stole my necklace and hid it in her locker!

Felix: Are we sure Marinette did that though?

Principal Damocles: Well, it IS in her locker.

Felix: A locker that has no lock and literally anyone can get into.

Principal Damocles: (Blinks) Do…ANY of these lockers have locks on them?

Bustier: Well, it’s not like anyone has ever gone into someone else’s locker without permission for anything unscrupulous before.

Marinette: Um…actually, that’s how Chloe vandalized my gift to you on your birthday.

Sabine: WHAT?!

Felix: So it’s fully possible that anyone could have just chucked the thing into her locker to frame her.

Lila: But who would want to do that?

All: (Stare at Lila)

Lila: …Dammit.

(Scarlet Moth 2.0)

Felix: So are we just going to ignore the fact that a super villain attempted to recreate a mass akumatization attack just now?

Marinette: Hey, yeah! Why do it now? It had to have required a lot of preparation and planning to pull off. He couldn’t just do it randomly.

Adrien: The last time this happened was during Heroes Day with that fake evil Ladybug!

Felix: And just now happened again conveniently right after Lila started making these allegations against Marinette. It seems rather suspicious that a super villain would know to attack right at this time.

Principal Damocles: That is a good question.

Everyone: (Turns on Lila)

Lila: …Dammit.

(Alya)

Alya: There is only one course of action. (Puts on a hat)

Felix: …Is that a deerskin hat?

Alya: (Posing) Detective Alya is on the case!

Felix: You’re not Sherlock Holmes. But go off, I guess.

Alya: With the help of my assistant, Felix.

Felix: Wait—what?

Alya: Whatever it may take!

Felix: No.

Alya: Whatever the cost may be!

Felix: No.

Alya: I shall restore my best friend’s honor!

Felix: I am not doing this. I refuse.

Alya: Together, we shall protect the innocent!

Felix: I never agreed to this!

Alya: We shall uncover the truth!

Felix: Wouldn’t that make more sense to have Lahiffe help you?

Alya: And find the true culprit!

Felix: It’s Rossi. It is clearly Rossi.

Alya: Whomever it may be!

Felix: You have to be some kind of idiot to not realize Rossi is the one responsible when she very clearly made the implications in the first place.

Alya: With my trusty—if not somewhat annoying assistant at my side, I will prevail!

Felix: Can you just go back to hating me and ignoring my existence please?

Alya: Alya Cesaire! ACE DETECTIVE!

(Long pause)

Felix: …sigh. Dammit.

[lady-plantagenet]

What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 1: CamelNOT

[Lively Music Plays]

I shit you not... that’s what it said in the CCs.

Tower of London (?)

*Catherine looks at the array of crowns like a museum curator and the proceeds to strut down the halls*

Wolsey: *gives her this strange look which is a mixture between damn girl and the eagle is my spirit animal.

Then Catherine gets fake detained and taken to Henry in what must be a strange variation of the whole Robin Hood/Maid Marian roleplay they historically engaged in.

... did she just call his erhm manhood his kingship? Well that’s original, I’ll give them that. Also funny how Bessie Blount initially looks on in fright... don’t worry girl that will be you soon.

———————————————————————

*the four ladies have a brunch friendship moment together*

I see Blount is among them... I see they are setting her up as Catherine’s friend in order to play up the whole betrayal.

Alright. Jokes aside, I realised how much I’ve played myself. I was inspired by @melusineloriginale ‘s sporks (which if all this TSP episode posts got you in the mood for PG show mockery I urge you to check out here - you’ll thank me later). In truth, Henry VIII’s early reign is a bit too late from my main area of focus for me to make intelligent jokes.

I’ll content myself with just bullet-pointing random thoughts that came into my head, and if some intelligent thought gets through, well that would be the pinnacle. In any case I’ll aim to not parrot some of the stuff that’s already been said, repetition can get annoying.

This image embodies this post, but maybe not the show. I’ve noticed those Starz productions get better by the end.

First Scenes:

- The recap just reminded me how much I will miss Margaret Beaufort in the coming episodes. I know her portrayal was innacurate but Harriet Walter just made everything better.

- They are making such a big deal out of this whole ‘we were crowned together, we rule together’ thing in this episode - it makes no sense. Catherine was an influential Queen but she was definitely no more than a consort and never saw herself as more.

- Ruairi’s new haircut is pleasing to my eyes.

- When she says ‘Abuelo’ it’s super adorable awww

The Ferdinand and Charles V scene:

- Bessie Blount looks so much like Ursula Pole lmao. Also they totally got the Pole children’s birth order wrong and UGH WHERE IS GEOFFREY POLE???

- I like Mary Tudor’s actress and her facial expressions. However, this whole polyglot image they are representing is innacurate. I am fairly certain she knew no spanish and I recall reading a contemporary account which said that she was not very learned.

- I’m pretty sure it would be considered bad luck to prematurely crown your son ‘Henry IX’ while you’re still alive.

- I actually like the whole Grape motif in this episode. It’s probably the smartest thing they’ve come up with so far for this episode. I know a lot of you will be all like ‘there’s no record of Ferdinand being abusive’ but this choice sort of makes sense when you recall Joanna’s treatment. Also I appreciate them for not being tacky and showing flashbacks of more overt abuse eg physical. The sugared grape is also fairly symbolic (the sugar is like a gilding, the grape easily crushable)

- OMG the guy from Garrow’s law is playing Thomas More!

- AND PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME IM NOT SEEING THINGS? Margaret Pole x Thomas More is happening?? Please god that is a historical crackship I am getting behind. Yes. This is what I’m most invested about.

Margaret Tudor and Scotland Scene:

- The whole ironic cutaway to Margaret being all depressed after Charles Brandon’s statement about her charming Scottish king is such a cliché movie technique.

- If this were a more artsy film I would think the whole setup resembling a stereotypical middle-class family breakfast was done on purpose for humorous effects or to create a link with the past. But here I don’t have as much trust in the producers. I think they just failed to capture the time period accurately.

- The modernisms continue: ‘Negassi please stop playing’ idk, there just something so modern about this for some reason ahaha

- Also again, I’m getting tired of all this ‘Catherine is basically queen herself’, ‘Catherine is a political genius’, ‘Catherine Catherine Catherine’ ugh. I don’t think the producers understand that Henry VIII was a very autocratic and traditional ruler. He didn’t make any show of joint-rulership (correct me if I’m wrong).

- The teeth thing is funny, smart and I liked it.

Back to Westminster:

- I like Ferdinand’s actor!

- Also Catherine’s response to ‘who are you loyal to?’ was not that smart. I feel like the producers wanted us to be impressed. What if Spain and England’s interests conflict, ey??

The Joust:

- I care too much for the whole Margaret Pole plotline. I’m so invested.

- I could watch a series of More and Pole just exchanging lines. I love the actors too and this is my hope for this series. The whole frustrated parents is SO CUTE.

- I didn’t know More tutored Reggie, I would be curious to know more.

- The way compton says groom to queen’s stool is freaking hilarious. He looks like a pervert.

- Henry Pole is a darling and must be protected at all costs.

- Oh Christ oh Christ that eyeball shot was just... good job on the special effects guys. Don’t know what the point of that choice was.

- I found the whole armour mentions after interesting, it looked so set up as a PR campaign because Stafford speaking about the armour just sounded like a statement agreed on beforehand ‘should have worn the same’ and the Catherine with ‘steel in the bones’ and Ferdinand’s impressed face (it was him playing them?)

- Am I giving this show too much credit?

- Also whats up with “God save the Queen?”

War Counsel:

- Henry VIII’s actor is quite charismatic in this scene. It’s almost as if Catherine is the hothead and Henry the wise one that speaks less but more significantly. It almost feels like they gender-swapped them.

The Bedchamber:

- Did Catherine breastfeed the baby? I thought it was Anne Boleyn. Doubtful... I’m tired of the trope of ‘you’re a good woman if you insist on breastfeeding the child yourself despite social conventions’. For a feminist show, the writers seem very attached to some 1950s perceptions of motherhood.

- I feel like the age difference between Catherine and Henry is well conveyed.

Scotland Again:

- ‘All the sheep were pregnant’ 👀 oh touché Margaret. oh my. Did she just?

- I know they are playing out this disenfranchised Margaret arc to reinforce how great Catherine and Henry are (cheap technique) and to build up to her involvement in Flodden (innacurate historically but I know what the show will do). But I will say this: the humour is pretty good in the Scottish scenes! But I know it’s unintentionally so... (I highly doubt they wanted us to laugh at Margaret hitting James or calling Alexander a pig).

Westminster and the baby chamber:

- What’s are those red splotches on the babies face??

- Oh that shot of Margaret and silent Reginald :((( it makes me sad.

- And now the Poles are at church! I just love the look of them.

- That scene of Maggie and Catherine was needed, as we didn’t get the best friends vibe much in this episode. The whole thing looked a bit pagan though, but it was nice :)

The whole Ferdinand’s betrayal segment:

- The grape motif again was fitting, him snapping the fruit right before she gets to it even despite her knowing what he’s like and what he’ll do, was a good parrallel.

- I’m tired of hearing of this ‘Camelot’. Even in the novel, Camelot was Catherine and Arthur’s dream and... can we just live it up with Arthur?

- Ursula Pole’s, Bessie Blount’s and Mary Boleyn’s actresses look way too similar.

- I fail to see why Catherine thinks she’s turning into her father... she doesn’t strike me as much of a game-player or subtle two-facer.

- I’m intrigued what will happen with Oviedo and Lina... I feel like they won’t stay in England long.

- He was made knight bannaret... nice... but why does he thank Catherine publicly for this? It was in Henry’s gift that he was made a commoner Knight.. if this transpired irl Henry would have been gravely insulter.

Catherine’s Dead Baby and thereafter:

- Guys. In all seriousness, I don’t think the TV series is trying to imply that Catherine killed the baby with her negligence. I mean, they are so bent on us liking her they wouldn’t do that. It would be a bit too ballsy anyway. Remember the red splotches I mentioned earlier? Could those have been a sign that he was already ill but no one noticed/was in denial?

- The pebbles in hands would have had more emotional payoff if it had been established earlier if you know what I mean. Basically, this episode is too fast and entire arcs begin and end within it which extinguished any build-up.

- Oh man Henry is so sweet in this, how will they build him up as the tyrant he was historically if they keep this up?

Scotland Again:

- I must admit, I don’t like all those nicknames they keep using. But somehow James calling Margaret ‘Meg’ is nice and seems fitting.

- What’s a hermana sister?

England Last Mourning Scenes:

- YOU DID NOT BUILD CAMELOT ughhh

- Why is Catherine giving the speech and not Henry?? It turns out Catherine was more emotional historically then the whole perception of ‘perfect queen of stone’ to which some people hold her. However, I doubt it would have been proper of her to give a speech in such a emotional manner.

Conclusion:

6.5/10

Some of the dialogue was stilted, the costumes are confused as to which era they’re supposed to be (aesthetically distracting) and many other characterisation issues.

I don’t have high hopes for this series in terms of cinematography or art but I sure as hell expect it will be entertaining. So far, everything is just getting set up and I find some aspects promising. As you can tell I am truly excited over how the Margaret Pole plotline. I am also interested in how Henry will be portrayed, with Catherine being so OTT and pushy this episode Im starting to Stan him more. In this show he appears sensitive and serene and kinda... adorable. Kind of like a little brother hanging onto his sister’s skirts.

But in a way that is a disservice to the real historical figure which would not tolerate such a representation. I am very irritated by this whole ‘joint-rulers’ thing which is just sooo innacurate. These STARZ shows have an obsession with showing women turn into men for the purposes of feminism - I see.

Catherine overpowers Henry too often and it sometimes feels like he’s HER consort. Of course, the feminism in this show is schizophrenic as we get the overemphasis of Catherine as a 1950s motherly ideal with the whole breastfeeding angle (“you’re better than other noble woman who would find this beneath them”, “they’re not as motherly as you”).

So the relationship dynamic between Henry and Catherine is a bit off at the moment, but oh well.

Mary Tudor is a bit distracting with her dark hair but I find the actress extremely endearing and promising. I know there will be emphasis on her storyline too and I hope they’ll not be clichéd with it.

[nxfelibatae]

pose || jimin x reader [pt.3]

When the opportunity presented itself there was no way you were going to let it go, only 10 days to make a boy fall in love, It must have been easy, but you let yourself be carried away by your feelings, and nobody should risk their heart to the ones who are addicted to play with it. Love disguises itself in many ways and it hurts when you find out it was all a lie.

pairing: fuckboy! jimin x reader!

word count: 7.3K

genre: Fluff, slight angst, light smut, how to loose a guy in 10 days AU

warnings: Alcohol use, sex references, slow burn, swearing. Everybody it's kinda lying. That's pretty much it.

A / N: inspired by the movie How to loose a guy in 10 days. First work here so please be nice guys :(. It's a two people work.

PART 1 | PART 2  | PART 3

PART 3

Day 10

'Wake your ass up!' Nayeon screams from the other side of your bedroom door 'Breakfast is ready and if you don't come out I'll eat everything on my own, you know I'll do it!'

A groan came out of your mouth when you heard her walk away from the door. Pressing a pillow against your head and closing your eyes tightly to combat the noise and the annoying daylight making its presence between the curtains of your room, wasn't too helpful, you could hear her shout your name again, followed by another threat about going in to get you out of your hair.

You knew that the only reason Nayeon was being so considerate was because she wanted to know the details of your get away with Jimin. Was it proper to call it a date? It was weird to even think about it, but you actually enjoyed it. As you open your door to avoid another shout from Nayeon, you let the smell of bacon and pancakes invade your nostrils.

The kitchen isle had always been the place to have breakfast, any day of the week. Being an apartment of two students, a dining room was not affordable and you would rarely use it. You let all your weight fall into one of the high chairs in front of the ivory table, you were clearly tired due to the few hours of sleep. Nayeon looked at you and gave you a mischievous smile as she places a plate in front of you.

'It smells really good, Nayeon. Thank you. ' A grateful smile takes place on your face, Nayeon smiles in response as she sits across from you with a large cup of coffee. 'How did you get home last night?' The tone of your voice was curious and concerned, since the night before you had only checked her room to make sure she was still alive, ignoring completely the fact that you didn't know how she got home safely.

'Oh, Mark called a taxi for me. He made sure I got home safe, he followed the driver in the app ... '

Your eyes widened in surprise. After the events of last night, the most logical thing for you was that Mark brought Nayeon home, because in your opinion his attitude was flirtatious towards her in various ways. Nayeon laughed loudly at that, assuring you that they were just friends and that he was just being nice.

'How sure are you about that?' You asked curious.

'Hundred percent sure.' Her tone drips on confidence. She takes another bite of bacon, grabbing it with her tiny fingers. She has the habit of eating with her hands sometimes.

'And that's because ...'

'He has a girlfriend, you silly,' she spits smiling 's * She arrived like five minutes after you ran away with your new boyfriend. Small, good-looking, likable, you know? But obviously Mark wouldn't leave her standing there just to take another girl home, so I told him not to worry and that I could get back on my own, he was really nice and called the taxi for me and offered to pay for it , but I rejected his offer, once I got home I texted him to let him know I was safe in bed. ' taking another bite of bacon, she finishes her story.

‘I see...’ you murmure, avoiding as much as you can the whole date with Jimin topic. You were worried about Nayeon taking too seriously this whole situation with Jimin, when it was really just a game, a story to write an article about. The idea of ​​Nayeon giving you advice wasn't what made you anxious, it was her messing with your head, giving you wrong ideas of what you felt you had under control. Did you actually have it under control?

‘So...’ she says smiling like the Cheshire cat from Alice in wonderland.

‘Nayeon...’ you warn, not letting her mess around with questions. It was too early in the morning, or at least for you, to talk about this topic and let it spin around your head again.  

‘Come on!’ She whines with sad puppy eyes. ‘I just wanna know how did it went. Where did you go? Was he nice? Was he a gentleman or is he the asshole everybody says he is with girls? Did he tried to kiss you?’ You felt overwhelmed with every question that Nayeon threw at you quickly. When Nayeon was curious or excited about something, she could speak really fast.

Blinking a few times and after taking a sip from your coffee, you took a long breath to begin answering your best friend's questions. ‘We went to grab some dinner as we said we would. He took me to this 90’s styles restaurant not far from where the party was and he was actually...nice I think? I mean he was polite, he didn’t looked at the waitress  as I thought he would, he opened the door for me when it was necessary and he also paid for the food. We talked a little bit, exchanged phone numbers and before I knew it was 4:00 am, so he brought me back home and yes, he tried to kiss me at the front door but I told him I wanted to take things slow and then slammed the door almost in his face after I said “get home safe, good night”. That’s it, that’s all it is to tell’ you took another bite of a pancake drowned a little too much in maple syrup, not giving much attention to the fact that you had a date just a few hours ago and you almost got kissed at the door.

‘I am not surprised at all that he tried to kiss you, actually. I am surprised about the whole polite thing he’s playing, you know? I’ve never heard of Jimin doing that with other girls’ she says frowning.

‘Maybe he’s trying to act different with me, but…why?’ You say with a shrug. ‘Anyways...I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would, you know?’

‘You mean you like him?’

‘I mean, yeah? Not in a romantic way, I just think he’s nice, I don’t know how to describe it.’ Your shoulders rise to emphasize your indifference.

The conversation is quickly interrupted by the doorbell, the two of you look at each other confused wondering who could be, since none of you expected visits.

‘Maybe is the mailman, I don’t know, can you check it? I'm in the middle of my pancake.’ you two laugh when you shove half of the pancake into your mouth.

Nayeon runs to see through the peephole and let out a gasp when she realizes who it is.

‘Who is it?’ words cannot be understood because your mouth was still full.

‘Umm, I think is for you.’ She answers with an excited smile as she holds you by the shoulders.

‘But, I said I wasn’t expecting anyone.’ Pieces of pancake flew out your mouth making Nayeon feel grossed out about it.

‘You might want to finish that quickly, because Jimin is waiting for you outside with a bouquet of flowers.’ Your roommate says wagging her eyebrows mischievously.

‘What?!’ Her words took you by surprise and thanks to the exaggerated amount of food inside your mouth, you started to choke. Nayeon took action and started tapping you on the back as you took a few sips of coffee to help the food down your throat, what was going on? Why is he here? You thought he would text you to set a place to meet at, not appear unannounced at your doorstep.

‘Are you okay?’ Nayeon asked worried about your condition.

‘I am, but what is he doing here?’ You murmured just to make sure he won’t listen to you.

Nayeon and you start arguing under your breath, while on the other side of the door a desperate Jimin rings the bell again.

He thought about the flowers on his way to your house caught by a red light that made him stop next to a flower shop where this beautiful flowers were displayed, he immediately thought of you, which seemed very strange to him, but at the same time made him think about the points he could earn with that detail.

Jimin made a left turn where he found parking, his next move on you was to take you on a romantic date, girls love that kind of things he thought.

‘Hey man, how much for the flowers at the front?’ Jimin asked taking his sunglasses off as he entered the shop.

‘The Roses or the Lilies?’ Asked back the florist cleaning his hands of what the floral foam had released after arranging a new bouquet.

‘I don’t know about flowers, the red ones?’ Jimin answered not really sure about it, the florist just laughed at his lack of knowledge.

‘The roses are 68,000 won’ The florist walked directly to the bouquet followed by Jimin, ‘I see you're the passionate type.’

‘I’ll take them.’ The florist took them to the front desk where the tools and wrapping paper were so he could arrange them ‘Why you say that?’ Jimin asked while watching how delicate the florist was with the flowers.

‘Well, red roses signifies enduring passion, that's why.’

He smirked a little at the comment ‘Do they?’ Jimin handed the money and left immediately, as he crossed the shop’s door he puts the sunglasses back on.

That was weird.

The sound of the motor made him put his feet on the ground, leaving the subject completely aside.

Buying flowers for a girl was not something normal for Jimin and now he was outside this girl's place with a bouquet that until now he had realized had cost him at least three whole meals at his favorite restaurant.

After arguing for what seemed like forever to you, Nayeon eagerly pushed you towards the door, encouraging you to open up even though your hair looked like a bird's nest.  Taking a long breath and trying to straighten your hair as much as possible, you open the door revealing a smiling Jimin in ripped jeans and black boots.

‘Hi.’ He said, caught up by surprise after your random look in mini shorts and stained blouse. ‘These are for you.’ He pushed the bouquet towards you.

Smiling you took it, appreciating the gesture and the bright color of the flowers. ‘Thank you...’ You took a step outside as you closed the door behind you, not letting Nayeon hear any further your conversation. ’I wasn’t expecting to see you so soon.’ A nervous smile appeared on your face when you put a tuft of hair behind your ear.

‘Well, you did say that the second date depended on me so…’

You giggled at his answer. ‘Jimin I meant that you could text me so we could hang out again. I was not telling you to show up at my door by surprise.’

Jimin knew, you delivered the message very clear, but with the clock ticking against his favor, he had to take every opportunity and risk to make you fall for him as soon as possible, reason enough for him to buy the flowers in the first place too.

‘Right. I knew that.’ He started his next move, trying to be cute and looking embarrassed, a quality he really lacked. Jimin is usually described by his friends as the most scoundrel in the world. He knows that playing the innocent guy is a risky move but, again, all risk and opportunity had to be taken in this situation.

An awkward silence took over the situation, mostly due to the fact that Jimin appeared without a warning, catching you in the middle of a bite and wearing pajamas which to be honest, were very short and embarrassing. Who in college sleeps in pajamas from their favorite cartoon?

Jimin, on the other hand, finds them funny, even a little cute. That's probably why he thinks it's a good idea to make them a topic of conversation, ‘Nice pajamas.’

‘No please. They are embarrassing.’ You let out a laugh, covering your face with one hand in embarrassment.

‘They are not!’ He says with a bright smile, relieving the tension and the awkwardness between the two of you.

You laugh a little, lifting your sight just to see his beautiful smile. Something tingles in your head, a question, ticking in your tongue, ready to be spit out. Why did he wanted to see you so soon? Why was he so interested in you?

You clear your throat a little ‘Jimin I…I don’t wanna sound rude but…what are you doing here? Honestly.’

The question took him by surprise, causing him to blink a couple of times before answering, still not looking into your eyes, shifting his foot from side to side as if he was kicking an imaginary rock, he looked like a child, making your heart sink.

‘I just…I wanted to see you again, you know? I had a really great time yesterday, maybe take you out one more time, during daylight, so we could have more time together?’ Now he was looking at you with puppy eyes, his eyes make your heart fluster a little.

‘So you drove all the way to my apartment just for a maybe? What if I wasn’t home or what if I say no?’ you ask, really curious. If Park Jimin is who everyone says he was, it didn’t make much sense to you that he would sacrifice his Saturday morning just for a maybe from a girl, right?

‘You were worth the shot.’ he says as he shrugs ‘Besides, you still haven’t said no.’

He does have a point. You bite your lip, thinking how to answer, how to tease him. ‘You haven’t even asked properly…’ now you look at the flowers, leniently caressing the petals, trying to look nonchalant.

Jimin sighs, not angry or pissed, he looks like he’s having fun, smiling and holding a laugh, you guess. ‘You really want me to say it, don’t you?’ Hand runs through his hair, slightly stretching the ends. He really thinks about it, because never in his life has he said the words meaning them, his tongue lingers when he finally asks ‘Would you like to go out on a date with me? Again?’

Your face is adorn with a smile of victory and a little flash of ego in your eyes. But now that he has said the words, you find yourself not knowing what to answer.

So then you look again at his eyes, sparkling with hope and with impatience, and you feel confused, because Jimin it’s supposed to be rude, dumb and an asshole, not cute and nice.

‘I don’t know…’ you bite your lip again, playing hard to get, hoping that he shows his true self, getting angry and leaving, telling you that in the end his not going to waste his time begging

‘Pretty please?’ His tone is soft and he takes a step forward, taking your hand, stroking your check slowly.

And just like that, Jimin finds himself doing what he never does, at least not for a date. Beg. In his head, he’s sending prayers, wishing he could control minds to tell you what to do, wishing for you to say yes because now he feels like his pride is damaged.

But you don’t see it like that, you are being tricked without noticing, because you confuse his desperation with sweetness and softness, finding yourself actually wanting to say yes, and not only for the article and the whole playing with a fuckboy thing.

Jimin genuinely believes he’s getting a no for an answer, preparing himself for the worst and to take his damaged pride back home, closing his eyes when he sees you’re about to speak again to deaden the blow you’re about to deliver.

‘I…’ you look everywhere, trying to place your sight in something more than him, nervous due his proximity. ‘Could you wait for a couple of minutes? So I can put myself together a little and place this beauties in some water?’ You surprise Jimin and yourself when you spoke.

Jimin is relieved one more time, releasing the air he didn’t know he was holding until he heard you. Without erasing the apparent joy on his face, he answered 'I'll wait right here' so you let him go, disappearing once again through the white door of your apartment. Jimin felt a déjà vu when he saw you and with both arms crossed he leaned back on his motorcycle, letting the sun spray him for a few moments as he felt the heat envelop his body.

Inside, you're not surprised to see Nayeon standing by the door, probably just walking away from it to spy on you.

'Is he leaving?' She asks.

‘You ask as if you hadn’t spied on us thru the peephole, Nayeon, don't play dumb with me'

She forces a smile, as you pass her the roses Jimin was so kind to buy for you and ask her to put them in water, rushing to your room, trying to look decent in record time.

20 minutes later, Nayeon gives you a last good look at your outfit and hair, somehow she managed to get her hands on you after she saw the plaid shirt and the damp hair in a high ponytail.

You looked fresh now, with a lightweight tank top that Nayeon pulled out for you and moderately dry hair falling onto your back. You started to regret washing your hair at this time, you felt the heat consume your body due to the humidity which would probably make it fluffy after the motorcycle ride.

With a denim jacket in hand and the apartment keys in the other one, you waved Nayeon goodbye closing the door behind you, taking mental notes of every advice she gave you before you headed out.

'Don't let him kiss you just yet, just tease him about it. Flip your hair a couple of times and reject him if he tries to hold your hand. Let him know he has to earn it but send 'i like you' signals all the time. You're trying to confuse him, you got me?'

Actually, the answer was no, all the tips Nayeon had given you were contradictory to each other, even unruly, you only managed to nod to avoid keeping Jimin waiting any longer, probably dying from a heat stroke.

As you walked towards Jimin, he turned his head in your direction showing his smile.

Is he always this smily?

‘I’m sorry it took me so long.’ An awkward smile formed on your face when you were right in front of the boy.

You stared for a few seconds, seconds that were enough to re-analyze Jimin's facial structure, he was really handsome, you didn't understand how someone like him with such a reputation could have noticed you, not that you were less than the other girls, it's just that the situation didn't seem real.

'No worries' he says adopting an upright figure as he holds out your helmet. 'It's still early and there's some places I'd like to take you' He watches you carefully, taking another look at your body and your features now in broad daylight. Jimin would certainly have tried to get closer to you if he had seen you before the bet. The difference would have been in the insistence, since at the first 'no' he would've backed up.

Once he hears the little click on the snaps that fit the helmet to your head, he extends his hand to help you get on the motorcycle, wearing that bright smile of his. Giggling at the gesture, you accept the hand.

This time you place your hands around Jimin's waist without hesitation, he smirks and starts the engine. You could get used to this, the motorcycle thing. It was really relaxing, feeling the wind in your face, the sounds around you, everything felt…right. You let yourself go just like last time, for a moment you think about getting a motorcycle but your parents wouldn’t be too happy about it.

You don't know what exactly is going on with you, maybe it's Nayeon's words in your head repeating itself over and over again about sending signals, but you only act in automatic placing your chin on Jimin's right shoulder and getting closer to him when a fresh smell reaches your nose, it doesn't take long for you to realize is Jimin.

He even smells really good, does this guy has any flaws?

‘Okay, what do you think about me choosing your ice cream flavor and you choosing mine?’ Asks Jimin entering the ice cream shop after you.

‘I don’t know, you look like the kind of person who has really bad tastes.’ Your nose scrunched.

‘You didn’t think that when we were at the diner.’ He answered getting close to your face, you started to panic and remembered Nayeon's words, “Don’t let him kiss you just yet.”

‘I’ll let you have this one, sir.’ You say walking away to get to the counter where all the flavors were exhibited, ‘You have to try that one for sure!’ Jimin who just got next to you looked to where your finger was pointing.

‘Pickled Mango? That sounds gross.’ You let out a laugh when you see Jimin shake in disgust after reading the name ‘If I try that one you have to try the pear and blue cheese one.’

‘No! I refuse!’ you complain laughing ‘Let’s just get normal flavors.’ you say frowning

'Oh... so you'll chicken out?' he says, rising an eyebrow and looking at you with tease.

'What? No! I just don't want to get sick by eating ice-cream thank you very much.’ With crossed arms you stare at him, you don't let him get into your head, being firm and looking right into his eyes.

'Yeah, sure' he smiles widely. He remains quiet for a couple of seconds, looking around to se how many people were in the store, your stomach sinks due nerves, trying to defy what is his next move.

Jimin takes two steps to the nearest customer, a lady with her son enjoying her ice-cream in a cup. He taps her shoulder nicely. 'Excuse me ma’am, did you know this establishment accepted animals such as chickens?'

Your eyes almost pop out of their sockets when you hear Jimin speak. The woman only manages to blink several times, while Jimin looks in your direction, almost mocking at you. 'You see, I thought that girl over there was my date, but it turns out ...'

It took two big steps for you to reach him, interrupting him and pulling him by the arm at the same time. 'I'm sorry.' you say with an apologetic look at the woman. 'He just got out of rehab, he doesn't know what he's saying, he's still detoxifying'

Jimin forms a wide 'O' with his mouth at your words, shouting 'Rehab?!' enough audible for several eyes to settle on you with an offended tone.  But Jimin was unwilling to give up, unsurprisingly, so with a big drag of air, he yelled into the establishment.

'Hey everyone! I'll just like to inform you that my date chickened out and it's no fun at all'

You try to push him harder to the counter, where the girl who served the ice cream was, but Jimin is heavy and taller than you, making the task complicated.

He continues yelling, dragging everyone's attention to you, struggling to push a man to the exhibitor. You stop for a second the fighting to place your hand over his lips, hoping it would make him keep his mouth shut 'Jesus, Jimin, stop that, people are staring at us.’ He then continues to laugh loudly, making his eyes disappear for a couple of seconds.

'Come on, let's get you some ice-cream' he says giving up and walking slowly to the counter one more time.

You end up choosing normal flavors and while you left the ice cream shop you could swear that everyone looked at you with a bad face, we weren’t that noisy, were we?

‘Don’t worry about them, I guess they’ve never had fun before!’ Jimin screamed to then close the door behind him while rolling his eyes.

'You are quite shameless, aren't you?' you say looking at him funnily.

Jimin smiles and licks his cone. 'Come on, let's walk. The place is near here'

Ten minutes later and a couple of Jimin's bad jokes later, you walk by the Han river feeling the spring breeze and the humidity of the river on the skin when walking.

The conversation flows the same as the day before, Jimin is actually fun and is not afraid to express his jokes publicly even if it means getting a few looks from the people who walk near you in the same way.

While you're with Jimin, you try to remember Nayeon's advice and come up with a way to put it into practice, so you constantly move your hair from side to side when speaking.

Jimin noticed it. He had seen the same trick so many times, more than he can count with both hands, but he lets it go, for him it was a sign that his behavior was working to get you.

Leaning against the railing for a few minutes after you said you couldn't eat and walk at the same time, earning yourself a round of teasing from the boy, you feel his shoulder casually rub with yours as he slowly approaches his hand to yours. He is about to take it, but Nayeon screams in your consciousness and intelligently you change the cone of hand to prevent him from grabbing it.

'So...' you say to liven up the atmosphere a bit. 'Engineering major uh?'

Jimin leans against a single arm on the railing, putting his body in your direction, as well as his attention. 'Impressed?' he says with an air of greatness.

Something sparks inside you, with a need to lower it from the pedestal where he placed  himself without reason for a simple comment. So you say back 'Not actually.' the surprise is evident on Jimin's face, almost annoyed, but you find the way he reacts when you annoy him funny, so you continue, imitating his posture. 'I'm impressed that you haven't quit yet, tho.'

'Oh so you're saying I'm dumb?' he says with a pout, putting his index finger directly to his chest.

You frown and smile 'I never said that, Jimin. I just think it's funny that you have time to party with such a complicated major.'

'Proof that you can find time to have fun' he answered.

'Why did you choose that major?' you ask curious. Jimin shrugs a little before answering. 'I like math and it's kinda cool, you know?'

The answer impresses you, Jimin doesn’t really look as the type of man who likes mathematics. 'You like math?' you say giggling 'Why do you like such a hard subject?'

The wind blows hard and a lock of hair flies between your face and your cone, preventing you from eating calmly, but you manage to push it away with your free hand before it touches the ice-cream and gets sticky.

Jimin hesitates before answering, because he has never actually discussed this with a girl. They usually only talk about them or try to find topics of conversation between silly fights they have had with their friends or the manicure and the time it takes to do them.

Sure, Jimin has talked about this with his friends, normally Taehyung and Jungkook are the ones who ask these questions or tease him about being a nerd, but never a girl.

'They just make sense to me...' he clears his throat and you notice a twinkle in his eyes before he starts to speak again 'Look it's like...you have this puzzle, right? But you have a missing piece. So, someone, comes in and tells you “here’s a way to get to the missing piece” and when you solve it and find the missing piece and everything fits, it's amazing. They are perfect, numbers are perfect.' you notice how Jimin moves his hands when speaking and you catch yourself smiling at the effusive way he explains something simple, showing how much he actually likes what he does, your smile gets bigger as the wind blows once more, even stronger than the last time, making your hair tangle and cloud your sight a little. Jimin is quick to act, so with one hand, he slowly puts the hair behind your ear, stroking gently your hair a few seconds after it's in place. 'They are perfect just like you.'

You blush at his words, tickles present in your stomach, not like butterflies, but more like ants in a run, trying to find a place to hide when it rains. Jimin notices how the cone trembles in your hand making him smirk, you realize you are not so immune to his charms as you thought. Then, with a vow of courage and a smile as bright as diamonds, he takes a step forward, shortening the distance between your lips and his.

But Nayeon jumps back into your head "Don't let him kiss you just yet" so you take a small step back, smashing what was left of your cone right in his face.

You start to laugh at the Jimin’s new face covered in ice cream, it was priceless, but when you notice he wasn’t laughing with you, you stop. After a few seconds he laughs throwing himself at you, seeking revenge and trying to get rid of the mess you've left on his face.

He gets a little of ice cream on your nose before you stop him to help cleaning his face,  running the napkin over his cheek and chin while he looks at you carefully, when you get close to his mouth he feels shivers down his spine, you didn't seem to notice it and he was grateful for it.

'Why did you do that?' he says between giggles. You keep laughing, searching for a better reason than “My friend told me not to."

'You were being boring.' you say as you crunch your nose a little.

'You were the one asking boring questions in the first place!’ He responds trying to sound awfully mad but failing, betrayed by his laugh.

‘Well I am getting bored, let's do something else!' you attack, finishing to swipe the remains of ice cream, now you feel your fingers sticky but you believe it was wroth it, after all, you avoided Jimin's kiss like the plague and got something to laugh about, something you hadn’t done in a  long time. At least not with anyone other than Nayeon.

‘When you said “let’s do something else”, I didn’t think you would choose a bar.’  

After the ice cream fight, you decided to change the date a little, you headed Jimin straight to Itaewon where bars abounded, you had already shown a sweet side, now you wanted to show him your rough side.

‘I come often to this bar with my friend Nayeon, I like it because they have pool tables, good music and great alcohol.’ you explained as you took a seat at one of the empty tables close to the door.

‘You really don’t look like a girl who go to bars.’

‘Is this like our thing?’ You asked taking off the denim jacket. Jimin looks at you with confusion so you continue ‘I mean, assuming things about each other.’

‘Well what do you assume of me?’ Asks him while going through the menu.

‘Well, you look like a guy who can’t commit to a relationship.’ Jimin quickly looks at you trying to figure out if you were joking. You weren’t, but you liked to make him feel nervous and uneasy, it made you feel in control. ‘I’m joking,’ he laughs a little not being so sure ‘But you do look like a guy who has a lot of secrets, am I right?’

‘Not really, I think I’m an open book, you know…easy to read and all that philosophical shit.’ You two laugh at his words. ’When I said that you didn’t look like a girl who go to bar I was thinking about you not liking parties. And I know this is not a party, but it looks like it happens from time to time.’ Jimin turns his head around the place looking at everyone.

‘It’s different, I can’t explain how, but just trust me, it’s different.’ You say, defending yourself against Jimin’s mention of you not being a party girl.

The night flows good, Jimin orders some beers and you order some shots here and there, mostly for you because Jimin says he has to drive, and you are more than okay with that, you don’t really want to die at such young age.

After a couple of drinks you felt more relaxed. Thank you alcohol. That same chill vibe coming from the shots makes you feel active, wanting to do something else than just talking to the handsome guy that it’s sitting right in front of you. With your arm resting in the table and your chin in your hand, you speak ‘Do you know how to play pool?’

Jimin looks thru his glass, seeing your pretty smile from the amber liquid he’s drinking product of his second beer of the night, sticking to his promise of staying sober. He nods, looking at the tables and paying attention to the ‘pop’ sound off the balls colliding one with the other.

‘We should play pool then, are you down?’ You ask with a big smile letting Jimin know you were still okay, he had started to worry about having to take you out of the bar carrying you like a sack of potatoes.

‘Sure, the winner chooses the next date.’ Jimin smiles and stands with no hesitation, waiting for you to  do the same.

‘So you really think there will be another date after this one? You are a very confident man Park Jimin.’ You say standing up and pocking his chest with your index finger after every word, you wobble a little and Jimin holds you making you both get way too close, you could feel his breath on your head and your eyes couldn't help but look up to his lips.

Maybe it’s the alcohol clouding your thoughts and shutting up Nayeon’s little voice in your head, because for a second you really think about kissing him, thinking that perhaps this was the only moment where you could do it without regretting it because if it wasn’t good or if he rejected, you could blame it on the booze and then move on, but when you were about to go in for it, Jimin pushes you away a little without being abrupt, to separate you from him.

‘Look there’s a free table over there.’ He says grabbing you by the arm and pulling you to the pool table that was available a few feet from you, trying to get there before anyone else.

You grabbed a cue stick and so does Jimin, you break, making one of the solid balls enter one of the holes in the table. ‘I guess you are strips.’ a wink escapes from you.

‘Is it here when I find out you are actually a professional pool player?’ Jimin asks as he sees you settling into a new position to finally shove another of your balls into a hole.

‘I’m not a professional but I’m good at it.’ Another ball goes in.

‘Are you even gonna let me play?’ He laughs without taking his gaze off your concentration face, he’s actually really impressed by the fact that even when you were a little drunk you managed to focused on the target, striking perfect points as you get the balls in its place.

‘I hope so, sometimes I’m on a streak and it’s hard to know when the other player would play.’ Jimin stands next to you and just when you are about to hit the cue ball, he hits you with his hip making you fail the shot.

‘Hey! That’s cheating!’ You laugh, hand on your hip while you laugh a little, with the stick in your left hand.

‘What are you talking about, I just tripped.’ Jimin tries to play it cool but he looks like a little kid, you laugh even harder when after his attempt of making you loose, he make the cue ball go in one of the holes.

‘You made me lose so you could just play that awfully?’

‘The stick slipped from my finger.’ He frowns and pouts.

‘Excuses, excuses. Let the big girls play.’ You take the cue ball out of the hole and position it in a way that is favorable to you, bending over to the pool table.

When you were about to hit the ball you feel how something, or rather someone, brushes slightly his hand over your butt, touching it almost as not wanting to, you believe that maybe they were trying to go unnoticed. You snap, getting in to a straight position due to the touch you did not consent.

‘Why did you touch me you piece of shit?!’ You scream with your face turned bright red due to your anger, turning around to face the person, it was just one of those kind of  macho greasy dudes who were too drunk to function.

‘Excuse me? What did you just called me?’ He looked at you with disdain.

‘You heard me loud and clear, pig.’ You spit your words without stopping to look him in the eye for a second, firm and alert position, he was not going to get away with this.

‘Hey man...’ he says looking at Jimin as he speaks. ‘Is this bitch here with you? You should control her, she’s drunk and crazy.’

‘She wouldn’t be angry if you hadn’t touch her.’ Jimin steps forward, putting you behind him while getting closer, face to face with the guy with anger in his voice.

‘Nobody touched her, it’s just her imagination. Didn’t you heard me? She’s drunk’ the guy looks so confident in his words, you almost feel intimidated. Almost. ‘Just look at her, why would someone want to touch her?’ he looks at you head to toe with disgust ‘I guess you are really needy to be fucking with that.’ Those were his last words before Jimin's fist hit his face, making him fall to the ground.

Blood boils inside Jimin's veins due the comment of the guy 'Look, I'm not really looking for a fight but you're screaming for one right now. So I'll give you exactly 30 seconds to apologize to her if you don't want to end up in the fucking hospital, my friend' Jimin squats down to look at the guy in the eyes, feeling a bunch of looks and people staring at him, someone takes a step forward, maybe a friend of the guy he just hit ready to step in for his friend, but before anything else happened and as Jimin starts to get back up, the guy grabs him by the neck of his shirt, putting him under his body and starting to drop punches.

You see them switch places on the floor a couple of times, fists crashing against each other faces, you try to make your voice louder enough to break through the sounds of the bar, you don't know what else to do to get Jimin to stop punching the guy. The situation escalated quickly from the moment you opened your mouth, you didn't want this to happen and you were hoping someone would step in and separate them but they were busy watching the show.

Gladly, one of the bartenders and some other worker, came and step in between the fight, lifting Jimin from the guy who was now on the floor, no longer fighting back. Jimin it's trying to calm down, breathing heavily while you come near him, taking a closer look at the damage on his face. 'Grab your stuff, let's go. That will teach him not to mess with girls for a long time' His face is red, product of  the rush of blood, with a deep frown and a split lip that he cleans with the back of his hand.

‘Come on, sit right here.’ You point at the little stair outside your place, getting in to your apartment to look for the first aid kit to clean Jimin’s wounds, that was the least you could do for him. ‘I’m so sorry our date had to end like this, I feel terrible, I should have stayed quiet.’ You said as you came back taking a seat next to him, he looked at every movement you made while taking out the things you’ll need from the little white box.

‘You’re kidding? A woman who stands for herself is awesome. I’m sure that if I didn’t hit him, you would have done it.’ You finally let a little laugh after everything that happened.

‘I guess so…’ your eyes meet for a couple seconds and before anything else happened, you look away ‘This may sting, but it's only for a second. Here I go.’

He nods, but when the cotton soaked in alcohol touched his wounds, he tried to hold back a scream to not disturb the neighbors or scare you, avoiding making you feel worst than you already have.

‘Where did you learn to fight either way?’ You asked, tapping slightly the cotton on his lip cut.

‘When I moved here I had to change, so I could adapt better to this city, just like you. I guess you didn’t arrive speaking fluent Korean, right?’ He laughs to then close the eyes due to the alcohol stinging.

‘That’s true, I just knew the basics.’ You put on an ointment on his wounds before putting everything back in the box. ‘You are good to go.’ You said standing up and shaking the dirt from the back of your pants. 'Thank you, Jimin. For defending me back there, even if didn't go that well for you'

'You don't need to thank me, it was the right thing to do.' he says relaxed. 'Don't worry about this, I've had worst.' he points at his fresh wound. ‘Despite everything I had a great time.' he scratches de back of his neck.

You hug yourself in nervousness and smile back at him 'Yeah... me too' You look at each other, not really knowing what was next, the air starts to blow once again, making the weather a little bit cold.

‘I’ll better get going.’ Jimin says putting his hands inside his pants pockets looking up to the starry night, he walks down to his motorcycle and just when you open the door to go inside he turns to just tell you he will text you next time before arriving without any notice.

You let out a little laugh, only nodding and telling him to text you as well once he's safe and sound back at his apartment. 'Goodbye, gorgeous.' he says gently.

You don't close the door until he waves goodbye at you before he starts the engine and you see him leave. Once you see him disappear into the night you close the door and lay your back on it, just thinking how great the night had gone.

<--PART 2 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #305

“you want me to be yours, well then you’ve got to be mine, & if you want a good girl, then goodbye”

Do you call the ice cream topping "jimmies" or "sprinkles"? They're "sprinkles" down here. What music are you listening to? Ha, I just turned on music before starting this. "Sex Metal Barbie" by In This Moment is on rn. If you go to school (HS or college) does your school have a rival? N/A Have you been baptized in any religious tradition? Yeah; I was born in a Roman Catholic family. My mom's mom would've probably had a heart attack if us kids weren't. At family gatherings, are you more likely to hang out with the younger or older relatives? I mean, I'd go for those my age or older, generally. I'd hang out with kids though if they wanted me to. Considering you current health, how long do you think you will live? With my CURRENT health, probably not even 80. Do you have anything in your room that would be 'weird' to others? Posters, yeah. Have you ever done geocaching? No, but it'd be cool if my body could actually handle taking a single goddamn step. What was the last game you won? Maybe Uno with my niece? I generally let her win, but occasionally I'm "lucky" to TRY to be more convincing, lol. I think she knows I let her, though. Do you know any deaf people? If so, is it easy or difficult to have conversations with them? No. Do you enjoy playing Monopoly? Why or why not? No, because I don't like board games, especially any that involve math. Is there a doorknocker on your front door? No. Do 'laugh tracks' on TV shows annoy you? They're so normal that I don't even notice them, really. Do people often mistake you for other ethnicities? If so, what do you usually get? No, I'm pretty obviously white. Has anyone famous ever attended your school? Who? I won't say his name for the sake of not connecting dots, but a well-known football player attended my high school. Have you ever had to attend an event that occurred on your birthday? Ha, my 16th birthday landed on the Super Bowl... I was at Jason's that night, and just to be "part of the family," we watched it with everyone else that came over. I was so bored and uninterested, but that's my own fault, really. I could have said something, but this was only a month into our relationship so I was too uncomfortable to speak up. What do you think makes a girl a slut? Do you believe that label is thrown around far more often than it should be? And finally, do you think it's unfair that mostly only women receive that label? I don't give a flying fuck how many people a girl is sexually involved with so long as she is safe and open and honest with her partners. I'm not a fan of the word and don't think anyone should be called it. Do you think it's bad to have sex at 15 or younger? I don't think it's smart, really. It's just too young to risk pregnancy. Yes, abortion is an option, but like... a 15 y/o girl should never be faced with that dilemma. I'ma be real tho, I don't think it's a "good" idea until you're at least 18, aaaand I don't know any non-virgin who waited that long. Just try your best to wait, ig. Favorite love song at the moment? Love songs never sit well with me anymore. I mean I can enjoy them, absolutely, I just... have a lot of bitterness. Trying to pick a favorite when you feel like that is like trying to pick the best-looking rotten apple of the bunch. Ever wondered what it would be like dating the same gender as you? I've done that already, and it was great but also scary in a massively homophobic state. Ever paid for sex? No. During thunderstorms, how does your pet react? Neither have a unique reaction; they're unfazed. What internet browser do you use? Google Chrome. Do you like eggnog? Noooo no no. How often do you see your mother? Every day, because I live with her. Do you like croutons in your salad? No, I really don't like the texture difference. Who did you last play truth or dare with? I don't know. Have you ever brewed your own mead, wine, beer or soda? No. Have you had to make any changes in your life lately? If so, what kind of changes? ugh What's the earliest popular thing you can remember from your childhood? Ummm. I mean, probably like Barney or Elmo? Do you prefer practicality or fashionability when it comes to clothes? Well, really neither. I'm the type that wears tank tops in snow, flipflops year-round, sweatpants in summer... so I don't really dress with practicality. I don't care what's "fashionable," so. Comfort pretty much reigns over my wardrobe. Which kinds of berries grow in the wild where you live? There are these little red ones that grow in little groups and somewhat resemble raspberries. I can't remember if they're edible, though... Oh, and muscadine grapes (I had to look up if they were berries lmao) can be found here, too. They're yummy. Beautyberries are another. Have you ever made an article of clothing yourself? If so, what was it? No. Do you go to arcades? If so, what's your go-to game at one? Even before Covid, I never really went to them. I enjoy them, though. I guess my favorite is maybe air hockey? When's the last time you had an alcoholic beverage? What was it? At the Cheesecake Factory for my birthday. It was some kind of sangria... Maybe strawberry and peach? Idr, but it was good. What has been the most enjoyable job you've had? You assume I've had a job I actually enjoyed. How about the least enjoyable job? Well, I barely lasted two hours in a dairy, soooo... When's the last time you had to carefully plan how you used your time? You're asking the wroooong person, 'cuz my life is never busy enough for that. Who do you usually say hello or good morning to first? My snake Venus, usually. Well, that is if her head is peeking out of her hide or is just fully out. Do you ever chat about your favorite video games with your friends? I don't really have gamer friends anymore, so not really. What do you hope you grow out of? Being so goddamn dependent. What movie made you cry the most? I can't say for sure considering it's easy for movies to make me cry, lmao. Maybe Titanic. What was one of the happiest moments of your childhood? Seeing a container of dog food in the far back behind the Christmas tree one year. It's how I learned I was finally gettinga dog (Teddy). What brings you the most joy in life? Probably my cat lmao. What's a hobby you would like to try out? I wanna get back into video editing, I just. Don't have the motivation for it anymore. As with most things. What sort of a kiss do you count as the first kiss? On the lips and with mutual intention. What was the last event you attended? Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's, ig. How about the last event you organized? Me? Organizing an event? What's the biggest insect you've ever seen? In the wild, probably like... a rhinocerous beetle or something. NO NO WAIT. I remember at least once in my life seeing a fucking GINORMOUS moth on the ground one morning. I don't know what kind it was, but jc it was huge. How about the biggest spider? Oh yikes, I'll never forget this: an orb weaver wandering across the floor of our childhood van and under the passenger's seat. Never saw it again. I was afraid to let my feet stay on the floor for a looong time, haha. What's something you'd never ever dare to ask another person? I'd never ask certain "why" questions, like "why did you get an abortion?" or something like that. I can think of valid situations to ask most things, even controversial matters, but no one should ever have to justify something like that. "Why don't you have kids?" is another. That one gets to me. Having children is not an advancement or milestone in everyone's life, and hell, you never know if the woman's had like five miscarriages or something. What's something you've always wanted to ask someone but haven't dared? Why Mom didn't raise her eldest daughter, at least for her whole life. Katie's childhood is a big mystery to me, and I want to know more, but I know the topic is very upsetting to Mom, so I'm not about to make her explain it. What's the worst/best thing you've done without your parents knowing? Saying "worst/best" makes this question confusing... but I'm guessing you mean the best thing to me that they wouldn't have approved of? I really didn't do a lot of things that would fit that description. I can only think of a certain intimate occasion where things happened where they probably shouldn't have. If you wear earrings, what does your favorite pair look like? Ugh, I don't because of the holes being too stretched out from wearing heavy earrings too long. I still haven't gotten to putting proper gauges in so it looks less stupid. Have you ever won any money from a scratch card? Maybe like, $10 or something. How about a slot machine? I've never played one. Do like playing bingo? Sure, it's all right. What small, everyday thing makes you really happy? Cuddling with my cat. Do you enjoy puzzle games? If so, which one's your favorite? Yeah, I do. I can't really pick a favorite, though... Is there a substance you avoid at all costs? If so, what is it and why? I think in a past survey I mentioned my aversion to beer because of the association it has with my dad. I'd never be able to get a sip down. Not that I really want to anyway though, it stinks. What you would you absolutely hate living next door to? Any really busy location or travel hubs, like a train station. My childhood home was near a railroad track, and it sucked, so I can only imagine a station. What would you love to live next door to? A waterfall, uggghhhh. In the woods too to hear plenty of frogs and toads and crickets... What gives you nostalgia? It is very easy to make me nostalgic. The littlest things can do it. Hearing about/seeing/playing childhood video games, like Spyro, is a biggie. Which reminds me how damn badly I wanna play the Reignited trilogy, fuck. I just don't have the proper console. Which language do you think is the most complicated to learn? Well English is supposedly the hardest objectively, but as a native English speaker, I can't say anything about that. In my experience, Latin was like fucking impossible. Is there a place that you might call your second home? I guess Dad's house, but it's not like I'm there a lot. I feel comfortable there, though. How do you imagine your later life to look like? I DO NOT want to think about this. I fucking dread the thought. What is a job you would never in a million years want to do? A butcher. There is absolutely no motherfucking way I ever could do it, even if it kept me off the streets. What's the weirdest building in your city? *shrug* How do you keep in touch with friends usually? Facebook. Do you recognize friends'/family's vehicles by sound? Not anymore. Dad had an old car that was very easy to recognize with its shitty muffler, but he hasn't had that car in years upon years. I used to be able to recognize Jason's old car too because of sound, but primarily because he drove way too fast down our path that when I heard a car zooming over rocks, I knew it was him. What's something new you've just recently learned? It was actually a topic of recent discussion that I may have high-functioning Asperger's. Very, very unusual to learn later in life, but apparently Mom's seen the warning signs in some things since childhood, like my extreme pickiness with textures, my tendency to knead and play with my hands in situations of discomfort, my social ineptitude, hyperfixations, it actually running in our family (which I didn't know beforehand), among a lot of other things. We're not really digging into it though because it just doesn't matter; there's obviously no magic treatment for autism, and me being in therapy and having a psychiatrist to handle my meds is enough. If you were in Harry Potter, which house would you be in? Apparently I'm on the Hufflepuff/Gryffindor line when I took a survey a long time ago. Are you nagged about being on the computer too much? Not anymore, at least on the average day. Mom's accepted it by now. Dad's joked about it before though and I know others have certain opinions about it. Based on your personality, what animal do you think you'd be? Maybe a deer. Shy, reclusive, and always on alert. Have you ever been in a hot tub? Yeah. What song is stuck in your head at the moment? I have "my boy" by Billie Eilish on right now because it's stuck in my head. What's your father's middle name? John. What's the last movie you saw in theaters? Yikes, good question. I think it was The Lion King remake. Have you ever vandalized? No. What's a pet you've always wanted? Most pets I want I've had at some point or another... I guess I'll say a ferret, though I've really only wanted one in concept. I could never keep up with their maintenance, but by god they are the cutest fucking things ever. Do you like mice? I love mice! What's your favorite t-shirt? My "equal in our bones" Cloak shirt. :''') The design is so beautiful and just my style in general, plus I live to support anything Fischfuck takes part in. Did you/will you get a car for your 16th birthday? I'm 25 and still have never had my own car lmaoooo. What's your favorite tomato variety? I generally don't like tomatoes themselves, but rather products made with them, like ketchup. If I'm in the mood though, I do like tomato sandwiches with mayo and bacon; I only ever enjoyed them though if they were fresh right from an old friend's garden. Which well-known person's death shocked you the most, if any? I think Chester Bennington's was the biggest surprise. Rest easy, you legend. What's the craziest color you'd dye your hair? More like what crazy color WOULDN'T I dye it... What was the longest train ride you've been on? I've never been on one. What's the coolest hobby one of your friends has? uhhhhh idk Have you ever played in a stack of hay bales? No. If you could learn any skill, which would you like to learn? Ha, cooking. How do you like your steak? Medium well.

[inventors-fair]

How Legends Are Made

In general, I’m always happy with the diversity of entries. I’m surprised there weren’t as many uncommon Dominaria or Kamigawa inspired legend themes. It feels like a lot of people came from the same place, and honestly, that makes sense. There aren’t that many cards that create legendary tokens, after all. But the design space is open, and you guys delved!

Let’s get to commentary, shall we?

@3smuth​ — Brother of Flesh

What I’m not understanding is why there just isn’t another card called “Brother of Blood” that this can be paired with, and why it’s a legendary token instead. In my opinion, the concept would have felt better as two cards. Practically, though, this is a bomb legend that puts eight power on board and is a tribal build-around, and frankly, I like it a lot. I just wish it had a better feel.

@ace-hobo​ — Rite of Sadra

I agonized a little over this card. It feels appropriately Zendikar-y, so if that was your intention you succeeded. I am not a personal fan of the X/X tokens, but that’s not a real reason, I’m just prejudiced. Honestly, there’s nothing technically wrong with this card. It doesn’t tickle my fancy, but it doesn’t lose points for any reason either. It’s a pretty fun limited card, something fun to open up, good in ramp decks even in the late game. Name could use some pizzazz.

@allaroundawesme​ — Jiang Yanggu, Journeyman

I applaud you for creating an interesting planeswalker that’s actually moderately well-balanced. I would have made the second ability a -1 or -2, honestly, but that’s about all I can say for that. It feels like Yanggu, so you succeeded there. In terms of technical things, Mowu is just “a legendary green Hound [dog now, actually!] token with “This creature’s power and toughness are” etc.” You don’t need to add */*. Also for that last ability, you need to specify whether or not it’s two mana of any one color or two mana in any combination of colors.

@ceta-maelstrom​ — Ela, Primal Hunter

Another green planeswalker that’s pretty much well-balanced? Dang, y’all on fire this week. However, as much as I understand the bardic reincarnation, it feels weird to have both the ETB and the -4 be the same thing. It feels like you’re pulling the same bear out of the aether, and it negates the legendary sensation that having the specific token is supposed to create. Save this card, change the first ability to “up to one target,” and don’t make the bear legendary.

@dabudder​ — Lavinia, Stoic Defender

I like how you had a new take on a now-familiar legend. Reading up on her was interesting. That said, I don’t feel that this card is worthy of a mythic status. It’s narrow and a little weird, and pretty expensive for a 1/1 with no creature protection. The creation of The Guildpact feels... Off. I simply feel that it should be its own event rather than something Lavinia does on her own. I know it’s vague, but the segregation of guilds on Ravnica means that five-color-ness has to have an impact that this card simply doesn’t. Small note: “monocolored” should be one word.

@dancepatternalpha​ — Sword of Destiny

So, uh, what’s up with that first trigger? Do you create a Human AND put on a counter? Or like, were you going to erase one of those? Not sure what’s going on. It feels fine that the sword isn’t legendary. I think I prefer it. The word “creatures” in Arthur’s ability should be capitalized. Also, current wording is to put the name of the token before the other stuff a la Tolsimir. Mechanically, it’s fine. Good use of colored equipment. Still not sure what’s up with that trigger, if you missed a word or whatnot.

@deeran-moo​ — Rose, Rebellion Leader

In general, it’s best to stay away from non-MTG IP unless the contest specifically calls for it. That’s a general note. As for the card, it would work fine...if I wasn’t a massive fan of Steven Universe with massive story qualms. It’s an interesting choice to have her be mono-red with a white activation. But for one, why does Steven have flying? He floats! Why isn’t he a Gem, too? Additionally, I’m rather upset by the implication that Steven exists as a prison for Rose, which you set up mechanically by having recursion. If Steven goes, Steven goes, and there is no Rose. She’s gone, as the line says. So that’s a snafu. But anyway, for mechanical purposes, she doesn’t need a color indicator, “Strike” doesn’t need to be capitalized, and there doesn’t need to be a period after “haste.”

@demimonde-semigoddess​ — Memory of Wisdom

This is an interesting take. I wonder who’s saying the line of the flavor text. Perhaps a priest, a follower? I remember that kickass art of Kefnet dead and bleeding on the floor. Mechanically, this card’s appropriately mythic, a fine control staple, pretty fun, solid. The word “spirit” should be capitalized, and “7″ should be written out as “seven.” Aside from that... Not bad? Name feels like it could use buffing up.

@dim3trodon​ — Veren, the Haunted

I like a unique counter as much as the next guy. Pretty flavorful. But why on earth does this card say “For the rest of the game” on it? Is that meant to set a rule? An emblem? How does it trigger? I grok it but it doesn’t work in the rules at all. This would have worked so much better as an enchantment with “When ~ enters the battlefield, create a [insert kind of token] with a haunting counter on it.” That said, I appreciate how more things become haunted. I don’t like how if you don’t have any targets it goes to an opponent’s creature because it forces you to target.

@fractured-infinity​ — Amulet of Selenia

So, it creates an Angel token, and this card’s sole purpose is to ensure that nobody else can play it? This is a lot of words to create a token. The flavor is fine, but it plays just horribly. It’s a lot of text to do practically nothing but hate itself. The justification isn’t strong enough to create a vision of the vindictive nature that your flavor text and the story strive for. It’s not a bad flavor, but the execution leaves a lot to be desired.

@gollumni​ — Vance’s Influence

Everything I said about your last card still applies here, pretty much. It’s a build-around-me, it’s poop in limited unless you’re the luckiest player in the world, it’s an interesting tutor, etc. Not a lot to say here, considering.

@hypexion​ — Phyrean Crucible

Did I miss something? I searched, but I couldn’t find the word “Phyrean” anywhere in Magic’s history. Anyway, the wither is an...interesting choice. Can’t say it feels particularly like Mirrodin/NP, but whatever, it plays well for a rare. But you have to have three creatures whose exact power is seven? To make a 5/5? Why? The numbers here feel arbitrary and unnecessarily complicated. “Seven or greater” could have worked, perhaps. Honestly, I’d rather have those three creatures and an artifact that gives wither rather than a token who’s not guaranteed to be as objectively strong.

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes​ — Azor, the Arbiter of Law // Azor, the Last Guardian

Oh boy. This is...a lot of text. I’ll give points for flavor. But this is just too much. The first ability doesn’t need reminder text, see Domri and Riot, and should be “up to one target.” The second ability costs far too much to just play Sphinx’s Decree. Why not just copy the text from that card instead of the wording you used here? Also, why does he have a color indicator on the front? And as for the flip side... I don’t have anything creative to say. It’s not a reference to The Immortal Sun, it’s a copy, and I have nothing positive to add about that. In reference to this whole card, I would rather have seen your creative input regarding a new token, something unique.

@ignorantturtlegaming​ — Adelyne, Wolf Speaker

Love the flavor and concept here. Mechanically, it could use some work. For one, the first ability only gives flash to wolves on the battlefield, and, well... If they’re already on the battlefield, flash is useless. You’d want to say “You may cast Wolf spells as though they had flash.” Secondly, and someone can correct me if I’m wrong, I’m not sure if the second ability ‘works’ as a replacement effect? I think by the time she becomes the target, it’s too late to give her hexproof, and I’m not sure why this isn’t a trigger. It would certainly be more grokable. “comes into play” should be replaced with “enters the battlefield” on Cheyenne. Still, great great druidic flavor.

@illharg-the-rave-boar​ — To Rule Them All // Lord Sauron

Call me a stickler and a jerk (it’s the only identity I have left), but I’m not a big fan of non-MTG IP for contests that don’t call for it. Oh, but I’ll stop being a stick in the mud. I’m a huge fan of the transformation and your use of a sorcery spell to signify a grand event. The activation should be “Put ~ onto the battlefield from your graveyard transformed” as seen on Startled Awake. Almost corrected to “return” but I learned my lesson there. I love how Sauron can be defeated without the ring. Really, this card’s full of good stuff. I’m just a butt about the game.

@mistershinyobject​ — Nest of the Gremlin King

What a jolly happy name. There are only a couple things that make this card not perfect for me. For one, every instance of creature types should be capitalized — Pest and Gremlin. For two, shift+enter puts the quote attribution on the proper line, and you can use the Mainframe editor to bump the text up and down as need be. For three, I’m not positive why a nest is making creatures attack? Little off in the flavor. For four, I’d rather have a Kaladeshian name than Gizmo. All these are petty things that don’t discount the fact that this card’s fun, annoying, red, annoying, and great. And annoying. I love that little snoot-nosed bastard.

@nine-effing-hells​ — Occult Research // Secrets Best Left Buried

I think the macabre is neato. Everything about this card is creepy, flavorful, evokes the aura you clearly intended, and builds up an implied world. Let’s talk about Revelation. I like it and don’t like your implementation. How to fix it: Make it a keyword action that adds insight counters to permanents, and have three insight counters always do something. Like: “Carbuncled Chemister || 1R || Creature - Human Wizard || Revelation — Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, put an insight counter on Carbuncled Chemister. Then, if it has three or more insight counters on it, it deals 2 damage to any target.” Keep this mechanic around. I like it.

@reaperfromtheabyss​ — Disciple of Madness

Spelling madness backwards. Har de har. In all seriousness, I feel that this card missed the mark. It requires a big sacrifice for a big reward, and I like that. But all the in-jokes fall flat for me. And if you have no cards in hand already, well. “trample and haste” should be separated by a comma. And consider this: what if it said “Each player’s maximum hand size is zero” instead? I know it’s a little weird, and Jin-Gitaxis is a different precedent, but man, it reads better. Gotta have something to do. I like how this card’s a fun build-around for Goblins.

@shakeszx — Haakan, Eternity’s Conduit

Was the name an intentional callback to Haakon, Stromgald Scourge? If so, that’s confusing as butts. As for the card... You are technically correct. A legendary token is being made. It doesn’t mesh with the spirit of the contest at all — oh, “Spirit” should be capitalized — but you are technically correct. I think the exile should target and be part of the activation cost. Aside from that, it’s a fun build-around-me commander. Not broken, pretty neat. Still hung up on the name.

@shootingstarhunter​ — Echo of the True

Er... So, is this card “Echo of the True” or “Spirit of the True?” You have both here. Gotta proofread, my inventor. Anyway, I would look at Rekindling Phoenix for a better notion on how to make that token work. If you give the token a trigger to return a card named [thing] of the True from exile to the battlefield, then that meshes better as a trigger. Points for Spirit God. Maybe I’m exhausted, but I find it interesting. So there you have it.

@walker-of-the-yellow-path​ — Mad Baker

And Urza laughed, and laughed, and laughed again. In all seriousness, one mana for a Food artifact token is busted beyond belief. This card is silly, and I like the idea, but that cheap artifact production is too powerful. “Token,” “Legendary,” “Colorless” and “Trample” all need to be lowercase as well. Flavor text on POINT, though. Love it.

~

Which one of these will influence next week’s contest accidentally? Stick around and find out! Thank you for all your entries.

[luninosity]

For @whumptober2020 for today, here’s a newly written chapter from...er...the sequel in progress to one of my original stories that’s still unpublished! I think it mostly stands on its own, so it should read just fine - all you really need to know is that book one involves a magician marrying his king (with kind-of sort-of polyamory, or at least an understanding about what Jamie occasionally does with the Faerie King as part of a willing arrangement about magic, and they all agree to that), after some Drama involving faerie kidnappings and rescues, and this one picks up several years after that happy ending resolution.

Theme No 20. TOTO, I HAVE A FEELING WE’RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE - specific prompt: Medieval and theme No 21. I DON’T FEEL SO WELL - specific prompt: Chronic Pain

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Jamie stepped out of nothing into a game of football happening on the Great Lawn, under large shaggy trees and the benevolent gaze of the castle’s old stones; the University students had the afternoon off and were taking full advantage of early autumn sun. None of them flinched, being more or less used to the Royal Consort walking out of tree-trunks and unexpected doors and magic; they were young enough to have grown up with a magician living in the castle and in love with their King, and several of them were also old enough to know that the University’d been one of Jamie’s personal projects as Consort. Rilla, the architecture-minded daughter of the farmers he’d once protected from the year of the Great Northern Flood, kicked the ball his way, laughing, an invitation. Jamie blocked it neatly, considered Faerie-related magical-traveling weariness and his second-best pair of boots, shrugged, and ran over.

 Bren would’ve worried. For multiple reasons. But, then, his husband was several years older, was the actual King and thus had at least a small amount more royal dignity, and was built of high-strung nervous protective awareness of the world. Brendan, Jamie had always thought, would’ve fussed over his family no matter the size of it, one other person in a clerk’s small rented room or the entire populace of his kingdom.

 Bren would’ve worried even more at this particular moment. They both knew perfectly well that trips to Faerie were exhausting, draining, entangled with enchantment in multiple ways; Bren knew that Jamie and the Faerie King had what could at best be called a tempestuous relationship, and did not like that either, also for multiple reasons. Jamie did not keep secrets from his husband, whom he loved with every ounce of his heart and soul, if magicians had souls—the Church he’d been raised in suggested that the jury might still be debating this one—and therefore had not kept that secret either.

 He occasionally did not tell Brendan every detail. Like the slow increase of the tug, the pull, the difficulty opening doors home again. It wasn’t exhaustion, not precisely, though it left him weary with loss. It wasn’t pain, not precisely, though it hurt someplace deep inside, and he thought it was getting worse.

 He breathed in bright green grass and familiar autumn, felt the low deep pleased thrum of ground and rocks and tree-roots and human taverns and roadways and rumbling carts and growing turnips; and came over to join the closest University student team when they waved. He wasn’t that much older than they were, as he sometimes found himself reminded by elderly Councilors and annoyed Lords. And he’d always liked football.

 Besides, the game felt very joyful and very messy and very human. An anchor. This plane.

 They’d already picked out goals and haphazard field boundaries; Rilla said, “So, no enchanting anything to move or talk or jump over someone’s head, no matter what rules you might’ve learned up there in Caledon,” but it was lighthearted, poking a Royal Consort who’d arrived years ago as a brand-new foreign ambassador and promptly fallen head over heels for their King. Jamie said, “I’m offended you think my side can’t beat yours fair and square, shouldn’t even need magic for that,” and grinned at her.

 It was a good game, noisy and full of shouting and sunlight and running and jumping around and cheering with delight when someone managed to score; the ball got stuck in a tree once, and narrowly missed a cart belonging to a seller of roasted apples once, and one of the palace cats ran across the field in the background. Jamie did in fact intervene with regard to the apple-cart, a tiny nudge of magic so as not to hit the poor man’s livelihood dead-on.

 He had to pause for a moment, leaning over, hands on knees. Surprisingly winded. He’d come back more wrung out than he’d thought. Too hard, leaving. Too much like tearing himself out of a tapestry, threads ripping in anguish, magic wanting to stay with magic—

 “Jamie!” someone said, from down the field. “I thought Royal Consorts were supposed to be good at maintaining relations with the people! Come have good relations with this ball!”

 Jamie laughed, straightened up, and went. And helped score that goal, with a mild sense of satisfied vengeance.

 His side lost in the end, though only by a point; they stopped as the sun got lower and a few players had assignments to finish for University masters or friends to meet, and they exchanged back-slaps and compliments and happy waves, breaking up the group. Several of them were headed to the nearest tavern, and they beckoned him along; Jamie waved them off and flopped down on the grass, sprawled lazily on his back.

 He was more tired than he’d let on, though it was the tiredness of good exhaustion, of physicality, mostly. Not entirely; but more than the rest.

 The tall calm young man who’d been the captain of the opposing team came over, gazed at the exhausted Royal Consort thoughtfully, went off and got a cup of water from the nearest well and came back. He had dark skin and dark eyes and darker ink-splash freckles across his nose, and he held out the drinking-cup. “All right?”

 “Oh,” Jamie said, sitting up more, “fine, thank you. Brilliant goal, by the way, that last one; you deserved the win. I really am fine; stop looking at me like that.”

 “Right,” Neved said, “that’s just what happens when the older generation plays football—”

 “How old do you think I am?”

 “And also when you jump out of a tree in the middle of the afternoon.” Nev sat down next to him on the grass, unshakably cheerfully watchful.

 “Ah,” Jamie said, and drank half the water. “That. Sorry.”

 “What for? Does it hurt? Going there. Coming back.”

 “Oh…” He looked into the depths of the cup. Thought briefly of color-shifting leaves, of unearthly shimmers in stones and vines. Of the touch of a hand, cool and inhuman, resting on his arm. “No. Not exactly.”

 “You’re sure about that, then,” Neved said, meaningfully.

 “It’s like…” He put the cup down. Used both hands to talk. “Imagine you’ve been mostly blind your whole life. You can see a bit, just enough to get the—the shapes of things. To know colors. But then you go somewhere else, and not only can you see—everything—you can hear and smell and taste and feel it too. Like drinking rainbows, or breathing sapphires, or seeing the notes of a harp in amber and scarlet and wine…” He waved fingers about, not quite sure he’d managed successful illustration. “And then you give it up, over and over, and you come back to that first place, in the dark…”

 It was true, though if he ever put it in those terms to Brendan he’d break his husband’s heart. He wasn’t sure why he’d said it here, under earth-bound sun.

 “So you are hurt.”

 “Culture shock,” Jamie said, leaning back on elbows, letting the scent of grass and the heat of fading sun envelop him. “It’ll fade. You did help, all of you.” And then he had to explain about anchors and the rich raw sensations of earth and laughter and bodies and sweat and human things. Neved listened gravely; Jamie finished, “Bren sometimes talks to me about economics. Nothing is more real than projected income from turnip crop yields, believe me.”

 This got a laugh. “I could tell you about my senior thesis at the University. Ekkarian warrior honor codes, historical, from the fourth century? And how they’re expressed in epic poetry of the time?”

 “Oh,” Jamie said, “absolutely yes, go on,” because he didn’t know much about Ekkarian culture and because he liked seeing people get passionate about pieces of themselves. “Honor codes? Something like our oath of fealty?”

 ***

 Brendan, glancing idly up from financial reports about the proposed cost of the harbor improvements, had peeked out his study window at blue skies and green trees and the stretch of the Great Lawn; he’d known when Jamie had arrived because he’d both felt and seen the presence of his husband stepping back into the world.

 His husband; his magician; his other half: sometimes all those thoughts still made him shiver with delight. Six years into being married, and he still found it hard to believe. The last proper magician anywhere, a secret Jamie’d kept for years. A beautiful young newly appointed ambassador, arriving from Caledon. A young man who’d looked at Brendan’s exhausted discomfort with the endless evening of royal reception protocol, and who’d smiled and cured Bren’s headache with a touch, never mind that it’d potentially expose his power.

 Jamie had fallen in love with him. Jamie wanted him: the anxious skinny unremarkable king of a small mostly unremarkable kingdom, a king who’d inherited too young and consequently got nervous about storms at sea and the ache of loss of both parents, a king who really genuinely did enjoy balancing numbers on a spreadsheet and panicked when asked to make small talk at a banquet. Jamie had married him. How?

 He knew it was more complicated than that. He let his pen slow, and come to rest, over a line about the docks.

 He watched Jamie laugh and get pulled into a game of football with University students, sunshine in auburn hair, tumbling over shortness and gesturing hands. Bren wasn’t sure whether to worry or smile. His people loved his husband—but were Jamie’s shoulders too slumped? Movements less energetic than they should be?

 He knew traveling to Faerie came at a cost. He knew Jamie came back tired, quieter, pensive, even if brighter and more knowledgeable, a paradox.

 He knew it’d been the only way Jamie could’ve ever found a proper teacher, a world of real magic, not the stray bits that slipped into the human realm. He knew Jamie and the Faerie King were—

 They were something. Bren tried not to think about that. He’d made himself mostly accept it: his husband loved him, and he loved Jamie, and he was consequently in some sort of strange three-way relationship with a King in another realm, because Jamie had once been kidnapped as a Faerie Consort and that’d gotten terribly complicated, and Bren wasn’t sure it was love but he also wasn’t sure it wasn’t. Jamie and Oberon understood each other in a way that he, being thoroughly human, never would; Jamie tried not to hold grudges because when magicians did it could be dangerous, and Brendan was allowed to be annoyed about the kidnapping on his behalf.

 He’d met Oberon twice. They’d regarded each other with prickly wariness, both rulers, both understanding that the entire power of Faerie could do terrible things to Bren’s tiny kingdom, and also equally understanding that they both cared for the short sturdy blue-eyed magician who’d folded both arms and leaned a hip against Bren’s desk and said, “How nice, we’re all getting along, shall we talk about establishing cross-realm communications properly, then?”

 He watched Jamie run around the Great Lawn and pause, briefly, to breathe, bending over. Bren’s heart did a little jump; but Jamie straightened up and ran over to help his team score. Bren might’ve cheered, alone in his study. He wouldn’t’ve cared if anyone’d walked in, anyway.

 He did sometimes wonder whether—

 No, he told himself. No. You’re not thinking that. You’re enough, you’re more than enough, he’s said he loves you and you believe him. He doesn’t care you’re not as young as he is or as fun or the sort of person who’d spontaneously join a game of football or gifted with impossible wild magic. He doesn’t.

 Bren went to move his pen, discovered an inkblot, sighed. Poked at numbers. They behaved themselves, adding up, clear and soothing.

 Cheers indicated that someone’d won. Drawn by the sound, Bren drifted back to the window, watched students and his husband run around, watched them being happy.

 He watched Jamie say goodbye to a few more players and then sit down abruptly, right there on the grass of the Great Lawn—and then lie down, leaning back, apparently too tired to stay upright—

 Bren dropped the pen.

 One of the students—he couldn’t tell who—had come over. Bringing water. Sitting with Jamie. Who took the water but didn’t get up.

 Jamie had been traveling—had been crossing between realms—and wearing himself thin even before that, trying to figure out the mysterious crop failures and unseasonal weather shifts—and now he’d come back and decided to play football with students, of all the ridiculous—

 And he was probably fine, almost certainly fine; Jamie knew his own limits—but if something were really seriously wrong, the students wouldn’t know how to help, what to do—

 Bren ran for the door. The castle stairs.

 When he tumbled out onto the Great Lawn, the sun was lowering itself beyond the trees; flashes of light dazzled him momentarily. Breathless and clumsy, he skidded to a halt and dropped to his knees at Jamie’s side. His husband’s eyes were closed, though he was awake; the young man sitting beside him was talking about some sort of epic poetry, very animatedly, while Jamie made interested noises of encouragement.

 “Hello, love,” Jamie said without looking, which might be either a magician’s or a husband’s senses; Bren wasn’t sure. Might’ve been both. “Have you met Neved? He’s our University football captain for the Blues, and he’s been lecturing me on Ekkarian warrior culture and epic poetry. Very eloquently, I might add. And also I’m fine.”

 “You are not,” said both Brendan and Neved simultaneously; they glanced at each other and away, embarrassed for more or less the same reason. Jamie opened both eyes and pushed himself up on both elbows, and laughed. “Your faces, both of you…”

 “No one believes you,” Neved said, “and next time you let me know if you’re tired, all right? I mean. Ah. Sorry, your majesty.”

 Bren winced a little—he knew most of his people liked him, and he also knew he wasn’t as approachable as Jamie, despite being the one of them born and raised in Erinne—but tried, “No apologies? Um. That is. It’s just Brendan. Really. Um. If you’re friends with Jamie.”

 Neved’s expression said very clearly that he wasn’t sure he could in fact call his king by a first name, but he nodded, at least.

 Bren took his husband’s closest hand. “Jamie—”

 “I’m just enjoying the lawn. Nice friendly grass. Don’t worry about me. How’re your harbor cost estimates?”

 “Fascinating. Lots of numbers to balance. I’ll tell you later. What do you need? Sugar? Chocolate biscuits? The last oranges?” Jamie’s hand was warm, but was his grip not as firm as usual? Bren’s heart shredded tiny pieces of itself in distress.

 “Sugar helps?” Neved said, with the expression of someone taking mental notes about the Royal Consort’s well-being, and also very aware that the Royal Consort’s husband was present, hovering, and technically his absolute ruler. “My gran makes these fantastic spiced honey cakes. I could run home and bring some up to the castle, later.”

 “Bren,” Jamie said, “our current ambassador to Ekkar, the one stationed in the capital, that’s Lord Summerton, right? I mean the older one, not the younger one who eloped with his mother’s lady’s maid last month and caused all the scandal. He must be nearly seventy by now—the older one, not the one with the lady’s maid—and do you think he could use a sort of junior ambassador? Someone who knows the culture and the customs? We don’t have enough people who do, and did you know Summerton didn’t even speak the language when he was appointed? I know he was friendly with your father, but honestly that seems a bit unfortunate. And Nev would be brilliant. Caring about people, and about history, and all.”

 “Oh Tree and Leaf,” Neved said, now sounding faintly shocked.

 “He’s always like this,” Bren explained, “you get used to it. Jamie—”

 “Of course you should finish University first,” Jamie said to him, “and speak to your family. And then come talk to us. I honestly am fine, love, I’m just being lazy now.”

 “You’re not,” Bren said again, and sighed. “But I’m not arguing. I’m taking you home and feeding you. Royal, um, edict. Or something. I can do that, you know.”

 “Love you.” Jamie sat up easily, more so than Bren had expected; a good sign, then. “And I’m listening. Especially if you’re promising chocolate biscuits. And you can tell me all about your numbers and the budget for improvements while I eat them.”