#was feeling kinda down the past couple of days (though definitely nowhere near as bad as i was) but now im jusg like. teehee :3

[timegears-moved]

umm. teehee

[doctenwho]

Moonlight Getaway

Hello! Thank you for the prompt, it was a lot of fun to write! This idea is adorable-- I always love a good dancing-in-the-moonlight trope, so hopefully you enjoy!

Bit of a disclaimer, since I’m uncreative, the planet I used is basically just Corona from Tangled, because for the life of me I couldn’t stop thinking about when Eugene and Rapunzel were hanging out and dancing in that scene when I read the prompt. So, oops if that influenced the fic?

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 3,450

Summary: Read the request above! :)

(Gif doesn’t belong to me, credit to the creator! :D)

You let yourself sink down, arms crossing across the table in front of you, and forehead resting on your forearms. You gave a heavy sigh into the room, blinking your eyes shut.  

You’d been travelling in the TARDIS all day—had been since you left the last planet you and the Doctor had visited, where you’d almost died. Twice. Three, if you counted the part where the Doctor slyly talked the two of you away from the space guns pointed at you.

It had been far more running than you’d ever like to happen, and as it turned out, running for your life really took all the energy out of you. Normal running be damned to the crash that followed an adrenaline ‘fearing-for-your-life’ run.

You’d been travelling with the Doctor for a while now, but you still weren’t quite used to... well, the threat that came with travelling Outerspace with an alien Timelord. How everything seemed to want to kill you, or chase you, or, well, kidnap you.  

And all the running you did on a daily basis. The running just to survive whatever you happened to be doing.

It wasn’t usually as bad as it had been the past couple days-- you’d just run into some problems on the planet, and were unfortunately unable to leave as quickly as you would’ve liked. You and the Doctor had been stranded, in near constant danger for the better part of two days before you’d managed to escape to the TARDIS and make a quick getaway.  

You weren’t even sure you’d done anything wrong, but perhaps the Doctor had at some point or another and it was just his past catching up with him. And you’d just kinda been roped along for the journey.  

It still ran you ragged. The past couple days. You wanted to flop into your bed, and never get up. To hibernate for at least a week before you were ready to join the world of the living again.  

You knew you couldn’t though, even though the Doctor would probably let you and not say anything about it, because he was just so soft with you. The thought of it just didn’t sit right with you though, no matter how good the offer looked. It would be a waste. Not everyone got what you got—to see space, and time, and travel with the last Timelord in existence. It really was worth a bit of exhaustion in the end.

That didn’t mean you couldn’t be tired right now though. Because you were. You’d slept all night, and into the day after returning to the TARDIS and getting off that planet, but you were still so tired. It was more mental than physical at this point.  

You just needed some down time where you weren’t in danger, which you were thankfully getting as you sat safe and sound in the TARDIS kitchen, and you hoped it would last for at least a while longer. Hopefully.

“(Y/N)?” the Doctor’s voice called, almost sing-songy.

You shifted around on your chair, lifting your gaze to peek your eyes out over your forearm to look at the Doctor. He was leaning against the kitchen doorframe, arms crossed over his chest and one ankle kicked up over the other. His head was tilted, blinking at you as a smile curled onto his lips.  

“Yes?” you breathed out, letting your chin drop down on your forearm, keeping your gaze on the Doctor. He gave you a grin, finally stepping into the room and sitting on the chair opposite to you.

“We’re here,” he told you.

“Here?” You raised an eyebrow in question, since you hadn’t thought the Doctor had any destination in mind, just that he’d been in a hurry to get you off the previous planet. He hadn’t said anything about it when you’d left him in the console room to retire to your bedroom yesterday evening, and he hadn’t mentioned it when you’d seen him when you woke up either. “And... where exactly is here?”

“Corona,” the Doctor told you, smile wide. “It’s a beautiful planet with friendly inhabitants. It's always very fun to visit, and I thought you might like a break from our usual travels.”

You hesitated for a second, still feeling so tired, and really not up for more running around and fearing for your life today. That usually was the Doctor’s definition of fun.  

Today was supposed to be a day of downtime.

“None of that, don’t give me that look,” the Doctor snorted a laugh as his eyes lit up happily, “no danger whatsoever. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t think you’d be completely safe after the last few... perilous days.”

You lifted your eyebrow once more, finally sitting up from your slouch on the table, “promise?”

“Of course,” he gave an honest nod, “I promise.”

You gave it one last thought before finally ducking your head in a nod. You really did trust the Doctor. It was hard not to trust him. He was just very trustworthy.  

“Great!” The Doctor grinned, “I promise you’ll have fun; don’t you worry. Now, why don’t you go get dressed, and I’ll wait for you in the console room, yeah?”

“Dressed in what?” You rose slowly from your seat, rubbing your tired eyes. He hadn’t said much about the planet, like what kind of clothes you should wear. Should you dress for hot weather, or cold weather?

“Something nice,” the Doctor shrugged, a playful twinkle in his eye, “but comfortable.”

You tilted you head, finally noticing what the man was wearing. It wasn’t his usual suit and jacket. The clothes he wore every day, his signature look.  

He was wearing a tuxedo classy and pristine—down to a perfectly tied bowtie. You’d seen him dressed up in this attire only once before, when he’d led you into some kind of gala back when you’d first started travelling with him.

“You’re in a tux,” you stuttered out in surprise, mouth agape, “...just how fancy should I be dressed for this planet?”

“Depends on the night,” the Doctor gave a cheeky grin, “you’ll look perfect in whatever you decide though.” He stood up, turning away from the table and walking towards the door, “I’ll be waiting for you.”

And then he was gone, turned down the hall and disappearing out of sight.  

You shook yourself from your stupor, finally managing to trail down the halls to your bedroom. You picked out an outfit—it was nowhere near as fancy as the Doctor’s clothes, but you liked it, and it suited you well. Just enough class to be considered fancy, but also comfortable to wear.  

The Doctor was waiting in the console room, as promised. He was perched over the TARDIS console, looking over the screen before he was pushing some buttons. His attention perked up to you when he finally noticed you stood in the doorway.  

“You look lovely,” he grinned, giving you a quick once over where he ducked his gaze off you when he realized what he’d been doing. He was quick to stand to his full height, clearing his throat as he adjusted his jacket cuffs. “Ready then?”

“You’re not going to tell me anything else about this planet?”

“No,” he laughed, “but I’ll show you?”

You gave a huffy laugh of your own before giving him a halfhearted one shoulder shrug, “I guess I’m ready then.”

“Lovely!” He chirped, striding towards the doors, and waiting briefly for you to follow. You didn’t bother hesitating anymore, now you were more curious than anything else. What did the Doctor have planned?

It was beautiful outside the doors. Something almost out of a fairytale.  

Stone walkways and street lights that lit up the darkening sky as the sun started to set above you. There wasn’t much street life, a couple families, children running around and being children—couples dressed in classy-casual outfits. Flowing dresses and skirts, and fancy slacks and dress-shirts as far as the eye could see.

Everyone obviously on their way somewhere, as they all trailed up the stone path, laughing and talking-- in generally good moods.

It looked almost like earth, and the human race, but with subtle differences. Just enough to remind you that you weren’t on earth. It was easy to forget you weren’t though—especially since they were speaking English.

“Ah, perfect,” the Doctor hummed to himself beside you, looking pleased as his eyes travelled over the sight outside the TARDIS doors.

“What’s... happening?”

The Doctor finished his gazing around quickly, before dropping his attention to you and a smile lifted onto his lips, “I knew my timing was right, this is a traditional festival. It’s yearly, I believe, but there’s always one gathering or another to attend around here. I’ve never seen any other planet quite as big on their celebrations as this one.”

“A festival?” you tilted your head in interest, “so... nothing dangerous?”

“One would hope not,” the man gave a light laugh, offering his hand to you, “I’ve never run into any problems here before.”

And that was enough answer for you, as you finally allowed some of the tension to ease off your shoulders. The Doctor attracted danger like a moth to a light source, so if he’d not come across anything dangerous here then you could relax a little.  

You managed a small smile as you settled your hand in his. The Doctor was quick to tighten his hand around yours, before he was leading you up the walkway with the rest of the townsfolk. The chatter exchanged was light, and friendly. The towns people invited you and the Doctor into conversation easily, and the children ran amongst the adults, weaving between them playfully.  

The atmosphere was refreshing—especially after the past few days of fear and struggling. And, as much as you hated to admit it, it was even better than being on your earth.  

The towns people were gathered in the town square, it looked like the entirety of the population was gathered for whatever they happened to be celebrating. There was singing, and dancing. Children playing around and couples swaying to the live music.  

“What do you think?” the Doctor leaned close to your ear so you could hear him over the full-swing of the festival taking place, “like it?”

“I do,” you gave him a shy nod, looking around at everything happening before settling your gaze back on the Doctor. “It’s like being home. Almost.”

“I’m glad you like it,” he gave you a smile, and it was almost too loud to hear him, “I hope this makes up for the past few days, they were definitely a fluke.”

“No, they weren’t,” you gave a bright laugh, “if anything, this planet is the fluke, Doctor.”

The Doctor gave a surprised laugh, before he was giving you an almost guilty look at the completely true accusation, “yeah, I suppose you’re right.”

“I love travelling with you, even though we almost die sometimes,” you told him fondly, batting your eyelashes at him, the action accompanying your words. The Doctor’s hand squeezed around yours for a second before he let his grip return to barely hanging on.  

“I’ll always protect you,” the man scoffed, though his eyes trailed over you fondly, “you’re safe with me, (Y/N).”

“I know,” you bowed you head, hiding your flushing cheeks casually.  

“Anyways,” the Doctor cleared his throat, thumb fluttering across you knuckles softly, “how about we check out the food? They’ve got amazing baked goods, if I remember correctly?”

“Let’s do it,” you gave an excited nod, grinning brightly at the Doctor, who returned it.  

“Allons-y!”

The food was pretty good. It wasn’t earth food by any means, and even if this place looked almost like earth, the food certainly didn’t. You still tried some of it, and enjoyed some of the pastries and desserts (which were amazing, like the Doctor had promised).

When the two of you were finished eating, the Doctor led you around to see everything happening.  

There were games occupying the kids in attendance, and the two of you had even been dragged along to join in one of the games by a cute little boy who you just couldn’t say no too.  

And it was fun. Playing around with the kids, and watching the Doctor let himself relax and enjoy their little games too. He seemed just as relaxed as you felt, even though he usually had an air of levelheadedness whenever you were around him, you knew it was just an act sometimes.  

Even though he was a nine-hundred-and-something year old Timelord, you knew he still got overwhelmed by some things, even if he attempted to hide it behind a mask of confidence.  

So, it was nice to see him so completely okay. A small, real smile as a little girl tugged him by his hand to the center of the game, bright eyes as a toddler tugged on the edge of his tuxedo jacket to get his attention.  

The two of you made your way to the live music next, watching the band play.  

There were instruments like the ones on earth, like a set of similar drums, and a guitar that looked pretty close to the ones on earth, but some instruments you didn’t know too. Everything blended together perfectly though, sounding beautiful and smooth.  

It was lively, and the surrounding crowd was enthused and dancing, enjoying their evening.

You weren’t exactly sure how you’d gotten dragged into a mixer dance. Or when one had even started?

You weren’t against it, instead laughing and following suit with the man who’d gently tugged you into the growing dance, away from the Doctor. You feared briefly that you’d be separated from the Doctor, but you didn't have to worry for long though, as you watched a woman tug the Doctor in just as the man had to you, pulling him along into the dance with her.  

You let out a laugh as you were twirled around, trying your best to follow the man’s footing as he danced with you. You glanced at the Docter every so often, watching him play the part just as you were. The man twirled you, and led you along following the rest of those dancing along with you.  

Before you knew it, you were twirled into someone else’s arms, another happy face who was returning your grin. The woman leading you along this time laughed, interlocking your fingers together with hers as you both twirled yourselves under your interlocked arms, laughing brightly together.  

It continued for a while, partners swapping around, following what you assumed was precise steps correlating to the music; dancing with men and women alike, before you were finally spun into a familiar chest. You didn’t even have to look up to know it was the Doctor, his arms wrapping around you, firm but careful, and the familiar scent of the TARDIS enveloped you.  

“Having fun?” the Doctor asked with a teasing grin. His cheeks were dusted red, as you were sure yours were from the dancing, and the laughing too.  

“So much,” you told him brightly, nuzzling your nose against him before following along in the dance as best as you could. You’d done it enough now, through the course of swapping partners, to know the gist of it, but still, neither you nor the Doctor actually knew all the steps. So, you missed a couple steps, and ran into each other awkwardly once or twice, but it was all laughs.  

Others around you joined in on the laughing—not at you, but with you—like everyone knew the two of you had no idea what you were doing. Like they knew you weren’t from around here- and maybe they did?

The music to the song you were dancing too faded off, and everyone gave the band a round of applause before laughter broke out once more. It was just so light, and refreshing. Generally happy. Just what you needed after the past few days.  

What you didn’t know you needed, but really did.  

You didn’t feel as drained anymore, not when your hand was still locked in the Doctors as the two of you joined the crowd in cheers for your own dancing. Prideful at being a part of the dance, and keeping those watching entertained.

The band didn’t stay quiet for long, and before you knew it the guitar look alike and what almost sounded like a keyboard was playing a slow song.  

You watched as couples joined together, swaying to the slow song. Some people watched, smiling along, happy on the sidelines, while others found themselves a partner to take onto the makeshift dance floor.

It was getting dark now—you'd arrived later in the evening, but you were sure it was at least midnight at this point. Most of the kids had left at some point, and it was mostly adults here now.  

The moon was casting gentle rays down on you, and you stared in awe at the starry sky above.  

It was beautiful. Possibly even prettier than earth’s view. Maybe.  

It was clear above you, not a cloud in sight, making the twinkling stars even nicer.  

“Care to dance?” You turned to look up at the Doctor, looking up from his lips to his honest eyes. He was still holding your hand, but his other hand lifted from his side, reaching out in front of him as an offering.

You couldn’t help but let your other hand fall into his, as a familiar blush lit up your cheeks. You weren’t going to say no to the Doctor, especially not when he had such a fond look in his eyes. Not that you’d ever pass on the offer even if his eyes weren’t twinkling adorningly in the moonlight.  

“I’d love too.”

He pulled you close, following suit with everyone else lost in their dancing. It was fairly generic slow dance; the mixer had been the planet’s own version on something similar you had on earth, but it was hard to change up a slow dance. It was all proximity, really.  

You let your arms settle around his neck, as his hands fell to your waist.  

You swayed together to the music. Getting lost in the notes being played, and each other all the same. There really was nothing better than being curled in the Doctor’s arms. It didn’t happen often—not like this, at least.  

It was usually little, subtle touches from the man-- a hand on your shoulder to ground you, or him grasping at your own hand as he steered you out of danger on some unknown planet.  

You let your cheek settle against his chest, smiling as your eyes slipped shut.  

He didn’t stop swaying the two of you, instead keeping you going as you let him take full control. His thumbs brushed smooth lines up and down the curve of your sides.

“This is nice,” you whispered, just loud enough for him, and no one else, to hear. You felt him nod against you, where his chin had been resting on the top of your head.  

“It is,” his voice was soft, “I’m glad you had fun.”

“Thank you,” you looked up at him with tired, hooded eyes.  

You didn’t need to add anything more, because you knew he understood. You knew he knew what you were thanking him for—for taking you away to somewhere peaceful like this, where the two of you could just be, undisturbed.

He returned your smile, giving you a shallow nod as a reply instead of answering. He didn’t have to reply, not when his eyes said it all. This was just as much a get away from him, as it was for you.

You let your ear fall back against his chest, and his grip around your waist pulled you just a little bit closer to him before he carried on with the smooth sways of your bodies.  

You’d never really thought you could enjoy dancing in the moonlight as much as you were. It had always seemed so out of reach-- something you only saw in movies, or on TV. A romantic action that connected people, which always seemed... unrealistic.  

So far away.

But you understood it now.  

You were sure nothing would ever give you the same fuzzy butterfly feeling igniting in your chest as you looked up at him, catching him staring down at you. As your eyes connect and a soft, fond smile curls onto the Doctor’s lips.  

You’d never forget this. Dancing in the moonlight with one of the most important people in your life.  

<><><><>

Hopefully you enjoyed! I wasn’t sure how to go about the dancing, but like I said before the fic, it’s probably heavily influenced by Tangled, so credit to Disney for that!

Thank you for taking the time to read, and as always, feel free to send me another ask if it wasn’t what you were looking for! Have a good morning/afternoon/night, whenever this happens to find you!

[hiccanna-tidbits]

okay, okay but hear me out!

Hiccanna, Moanida and Jackunzel (and maybe someone else if u want) going on a holiday trip together (it could be sea or lake or just swimming pool).

And that three couples playing "chicken fight game"~ When u have to sit on partner shoulder or ridding piggy-back and knock down or separate the other couple!

sksksks just imagine the fun and the chaos!! hahaha

Okay SO I recently watched Palm Springs so I’m just imagining The Gang going to like…a fancy pool resort in like Arizona??? SURE LET’S GO WITH THAT

I’m imagining the only resort the gang could afford to stay at is someplace out in the middle of Arizona or something

It takes a LOT of persuading to get Jack to go, because he haaaaates deserts. Rapunzel basically has to beg. Moana finally managed to bribe him with really good homemade ice slushies. (She’s used to making smoothies for Merida, so how hard can slushies be??? Just throw in some ice!)

Rapunzel offers to help Moana with the slushies, since she gave Jack SO many puppy dog eyes to get him to come. Since they’ve got two people working on them, they’re REALLY good slushies. Jack approves.

Anna also tries to convince Elsa to go, but the perpetually-single Elsa is just like “Um, deserts? Sunburns? Being indefinitely stuck with gross couples doing gross couple stuff?!? Yeah no thank you”

Hiccup tries to wake everyone up at like 6 am to go hiking because "that's when the desert iguanas are out guys!!! C'mon, we have to go!!!" Anna is only persuaded to go after Hiccup makes her coffee--she really wants to make her bf happy, but also mornings can suck her dick. Rapunzel is more than happy to go, because she loves mornings anyways!!! And oh my god, IGUANAS!!! Jack, Merida, and Moana are like "oh FUCK no" and put the pillow back over their head, shoo Hiccup away, and go back to sleep.

On their hike, Hiccup just goes "!!!!!!!" about every reptile he sees. Snake, lizard, horny toad, literally anything with scales will send the boy into an excited frenzy. Rapunzel has similar reactions. Anna could not love both of them more.

At one point, they stumble across a gila monster sunbathing, and Rapunzel is overtaken with the unwavering desire to adopt him. She gets Hiccup on board, and he tries to lure the lizard over with a dusty piece of a snake carcass he found (Anna tried to tell him he really shouldn't touch that, but he was not to be swayed and Anna ended up figuring he could just wash his hands really well when they got back). Anna finds herself in the unusual position of having to be the Voice of Reason, having to be like “hey uh I think this might be illegal and stuff??? Also aren't they poisonous???”

(I know what you're thinking. Bold of you to assume Anna knows the difference between poisonous and venomous.)

Rapunzel literally CANNOT stop gushing to Jack about all the wildlife she saw when she gets back! Jackrabbits! Kangaroo rats! Roadrunners! Peccaries! Centipedes! Jack has only mild to moderate interest in desert ecology, but loves hearing his gf gush so he listens attentively anyways. 

Anna and Rapunzel definitely hit up the gift shops in the resort town at some point, and go ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT HOGWILD buying gifts for everyone. They probably max out their credit cards. It's embarrassing, really. But Anna gets Hiccup an absolute shitton of those little wall lizard things and he nearly cries tears of joy when he sees them, so it's all worth it, really.

Moana will not leave the pool like. The entire time. The girl is just obsessed with being in the water, honestly. She gets restless, though, and can't just stand in the pool and vibe--she needs to constantly be moving and swimming around or she'll explode. Merida is more than happy to indulge her by hanging out in the poor with her, but Merida is also constantly challenging her to swim races--a very dumb idea, considering Moana is on the high school swim team and water polo team. Merida, naturally, is an extremely sore loser and is not above excessive pouting, splashing, yelling in angry Scottish, and dunking her girlfriend in revenge. It's at least entertaining for all of their friends to watch.

Jack keeps fucking taking huge buckets of ice from the ice machine and dumping them in the pool. At first he only does this because he keeps griping about the pool not being cold enough (this boy will accept nothing less than sitting in the goddamn arctic ocean), but after her figures out that it pisses off his friends, he takes to pouring said ice directly over their heads. Merida has threatened to murder him several times for this.

Hiccup and Anna's main pool activity is just lazing around on their pool floaties (Anna has a duck one, Hicccup has a dragon one because obviously), sipping cocktails, and just generally vibing. Through some ungodly mixture of pure charisma and a fake ID that Rapunzel helped photoshop, Jack manages to talk his way into getting the whole group access to alcohol. Hiccup is a sangria or Moscow Mule kinda guy while Anna usually gets a Pina Colada or a Sex on the Beach (she's aspec, so she literally will not stop joking about the irony of this). Merida makes a game out of attempting to tip over their floaties and dunk them. Jack, chaos gremlin that he is, puts aside his usual rivalry with Merida to join in. They have a surprisingly strong dunking alliance.

Hiccup and Anna try to form a syndicate of their own, and try to lounge on the same floatie so that they can protect each other while fighting off Jack and Merida together. Unfortunately neither of their floaties were made to hold 2 peoples' weight, so the one they're on ends up tipping over, spilling their cocktails everywhere and dunking them anyways. Jack and Merida consider this a Win By Default.

Moana of course loops everyone into playing water polo at some point. Unfortunately some idiot decided it would be a good idea to let Merida of all people pick the teams, which means of course that they are incredibly rigged. It's Moana, Merida and Anna vs. Jack, Rapunzel, and Hiccup, so basically The Jocks vs. The Nerds (although admittedly Anna is more of a softcore jock--she's nowhere near on Moana or Merida's level, but she's still more naturally athletic than Hiccup, Rapunzel, or Jack). Naturally, Jock Team absolutely whoops Nerd Team's ass. Jack gets salty and demands a rematch. ...Jock Team kicks Nerd Team's ass again.

Throughout all of this, no one thinks to just...rearrange the teams a little. Merida was counting on this. All according to plan.

In the titular chicken game (yes, I remembered, don't worry!), it's Merida on Moana's shoulders (Moana swims and has a lot of upper body strength, what can I say?), Hiccup on Anna's shoulders (I mean...Hiccup's a twig, and Anna HAS to have a fair amount of upper body strength from throwing busts around and punching men off boats and such), and Punz on Jack's shoulders (Jack's pretty lithe and good at keeping his balance while jumping around, so he's their best candidate for not just falling over).

Jack and Rapunzel actually manage to stay in the game longer than anyone expects--their primary strategy is “be good at dodging and staying out of the way while Merida and Hiccup duke it out.” And it works! As limber as Hiccup is, Anna's not nearly as coordinated as Jack and is no match for Moana's sturdy footing. Also, neither Anna nor Hiccup are prepared for how goddamn ruthless and determined to win Merida is. Even though they really, really should have been. I mean...have you met Merida???

When it comes down to Merida-Moana and Rapunzel-Jack, Mer feels a little bad for having to go up against Pure Sweet Punzie. Unfortunately, Rapunzel turns out to be a very hardcore fighter when she puts her mind to it, and Merida is much more evenly matched than she initially thought and realizes she must use her Full Power. It definitely helps her snap out of Going Soft when Jack starts brutally roasting Merida in particular (as per usual). Merida gets a rage-fueled Second Wave, and finally manages to knock Rapunzel over in one foul swoop. Merida and Moana are victorious!

Moana and Merida basically always shower together after a day at the pool. They claim it's because they both know how to handle curly hair in chlorine, and just like to wash each other's hair, but the rest of the gang is pretty sure that's not all that's going on in there.

One day, Anna hits up the resort town alone to buy some kind of secret gifts for her friends with what little money she has left (this girl seriously has no chill when it comes to buying presents).  She goes past this huge, fancy ice cream shop and she's like “!!!! OMG!!! I'm gonna surprise all my buddies with pints of their faves!!!” She just gets super hyped and buys everyone ice cream, getting so caught up in the thrill of it that she forgets that she'll have to like. Drive all this back all the way back to the resort in the rental car. In like. You know. 110+ degree weather.

By the time she gets back to the resort, the ice cream is, of course, goop. Poor Anna, feeling incredibly dumb and like an utter failure of a friend, just kind of bursts into tears. Like damn. This is too much. She was gonna make all her pals so happy, and all for naught! Jack just kinda shrugs and throws all the melted ice cream cartons in the freezer anyways. Once they're (partially) re-frozen, Rapunzel and Moana make slushies with them. They actually come out pretty decent. Anna is substantially cheered up.

Moana prepares some tropical fruit platters for everyone to snack on. Rapunzel tries to “improve” them by adding chocolate sauce and nutella to half of them. Sometimes it works (I mean...bananas and strawberries with chocolate and/or nutella is pretty solid). Other times it just tastes...very weird. Merida gest frustrated and yells at Rapunzel for “ruining all of her girlfriend's good mangoes.”

Jack just thinks this whole thing is so funny, and decides to swap the chocolate sauce with barbecue sauce to cause further chaos. Absolute mayhem ensures. Everyone has a bad time. Except for Anna, who apparently is just a freak who enjoys eating pineapple slices dipped in barbecue sauce.

At some point, Merida gets really drunk on appletinis or some shit and signs the entire group up for a local archery competition. Much to everyone's chagrin, it's no refunds. Naturally, basically everyone sans Merida does terrible. Rapunzel and Hiccup very nearly shoot themselves, while Jack and Anna come very close to  accidentally shooting a group of referees (although Jack might have done this on purpose). Moana gets the farthest, if only because Merida's taught her how to shoot a bow at some point. Merida actually ends up winning--although unfortunately, the prize is $20 and a very cheap plastic trophy (which Merida STILL manages to find a way to break before the trip is even over).

The rest of the group is much more amicable to the concept of going on hikes when said hikes are in the evening. Hiccup and Rapunzel are still excitedly chattering about the local ecosystems the entire time, and Jack and Anna are just kind of looking at their nerdy SOs like “<3 <3 <3″ Moana and Merida, meanwhile, are just kinda vibing in the back, passively listening in and watching the desert sunset.

Rapunzel manages to capture Mer and Mo's interest and gets them to participate more with geology, of all things. Merida just thinks rocks are cool (especially when they can be thrown at people bothering her!), while Moana likes learning about the physical history of places--how water can carve out landscapes, and all that. Hiccup and Jack just kind of exchange a look like “I had no idea that they were into rocks, but...the more you know, I guess???”

Jack makes fun of every reptile they see, mainly to piss Hiccup off. Unfortunately it has the opposite effect, and Hiccup can't help but be entertained--mainly because Jack's insults are so weirdly specific and over-the-top that they loop around to being hilarious. Seriously, he keeps saying shit like “Those are the lamest scales I've ever seen. Absolutely drab, and not nearly shiny enough to prove that nature is beautiful. 0/10.” and “Ohhhh, this fucking rattlesnake think's he's so scary, with his dumb percussion instrument tail!!! I could be more intimidating with a mean look and a large pair of maracas!”

At some point, a bunch of tourists riding donkeys pass them. Anna, Rapunzel, and Merida just absolutely lose their shit fangirling over how cute the donkeys are, thus exposing all three of them as the unabashed Horse Girls they are. Hiccup, Jack, and Moana find this extremely amusing, and definitely aren't above teasing their girlfriends about it. Hiccup asks if next time they take a couples' vacation, the Horse Gang (as Moana insists on nicknaming them) would like to go to a ranch instead.

Anna gets like. Obsessed with palm trees. Like they're just so pretty and exotic and tropical!!! OMG!!! And they definitely don't have them wherever the gang is from in this AU. (Also if griping about Elsa not having "tropical powers" is anything to go by, she DOES canonically like the tropics!) She has to take a picture of like...every palm tree on her phone. And considering the gang is in Arizona, that means Anna is stopping to take a picture like...every 2 minutes. Rapunzel catches onto the fact that Anna likes them, and paints her a picture with some when Punz has the time. Anna definitely cries when she sees it. Hiccup can't do nearly that good, but he does buy her some little plastic figurine ones in a gift shop that she can put in her room. Anna also cries about this. She just cries whenever any of her friends indulge her random fixation on palm trees. Surely she doesn't deserve such niceties!!!

Rapunzel is just. In love with the desert landscape tbh. Like the huge funky cacti!!! The shrubs!!! The desert wildflowers!!! The mesas!!! All of it!!! So of course she needs to pull out her easel and paint it. Jack walks by one day and sees her working on it and, partly just to troll her, he's like “put some snow in it!” As he walks away, Rapunzel just stops like “wait...that'd actually be such a great idea for a surrealist-type fantasy piece!!!” After she finishes the main landscape, she adds an overcoat of little puffs of snow on top of everything, and has some clumps falling off of the cacti. When she shows Jack, he just about cries tears of joy, but frantically tries to hide it. She gives the painting to him as a present at the end of the trip. He hangs that shit front-in-center in his room and cherishes it forever and ever.

At some point, Jack gets the ingenious idea that he's going to prank Merida by catching a tarantula and leaving it in her room. It's one of the harmless ones--Jack fact-checks this by offhandedly asking Hiccup and framing it as a casual interest in local etymology. Still, Merida screams far louder than is at all dignified, and also probably loud enough to wake a neighboring country. Rapunzel later has to physically hold Merida back to keep her from absolutely beating Jack into a pulp. Rapunzel also manages to get the World's Largest Sheet of Cardboard and the World's Largest Cup and somehow manages to get the damn thing back outside.

[thebakingqueen5]

KW 2021: Tease

Day 6 for Kataang Week 2021 hosted by @kataang-week with the prompt Tease!

I might have stuffed up the use of this word and its definition in context but shhhh it’s fine and this is cute.

Links: FF.net | AO3

Summary: Another year, another summer, another week of prompts celebrating our favorite couple. Kataang Week 2021 Day 6. Tease (verb): gently pull or comb (tangled wool, hair, etc.) into separate strands. Aka the take on the “tease” prompt that no one (not even me) expected.

Word Count: 1.8K

It had been a tiring, tension-filled day.

The war ended five, maybe six months prior, and the four nations were still partaking in the grueling process of learning to work together after a century’s worth of fighting. Considering that a group of teenagers were the reason there was any hope of amity in the first place, it came as little surprise that most of the pressure to arrange and facilitate treaties and peace talks fell on the Gaang, much to their chagrin.

And so here they were, utterly exhausted after a long day of trying to convince the Earth King and Zuko that violence was, in fact, bad, and stressed out of their minds, aching for a distraction.

It certainly didn’t help that tonight, of all nights, Katara’s long, dark hair was refusing to cooperate despite her having just stepped out of the shower a mere 10 minutes past. No matter how many times she ran the whalebone comb through her thick locks, nothing seemed to help, and her patience was quickly dissipating.

“Spirits, Zuko and Kuei are going to drive me absolutely crazy, sweetie.” Aang ranted as he entered her room, closing the door shut behind him as he made wild gestures with his hands.

“They’re both so… stubborn! And self-righteous and it’s getting us nowhere!” he huffed in frustration. “I wish they could just- oh.”

The airbender immediately faltered, finally noticing the appearance, or rather the clothing, of his girlfriend seated in front of a square mirror, nightgown riding quite high up her thigh.

“Sorry,” he blushed, eyes darting around the room to look anywhere, absolutely anywhere except at her to keep what little modesty they had left between them. “I didn’t know you had already showered and changed- I really should have knocked.”

Katara rolled her eyes, a slight pink tint rising to her cheeks as she returned to the task at hand: attempting to tame the lion’s mane she called her hair resting atop her head at that very moment.

“It’s fine, Aang,” she laughed, pushing a strand of hair out of her face. “No need to be embarrassed, really. Besides, it’s nothing you haven’t already seen.”

The waterbender snuck a quick glance at her boyfriend, and, quite frankly, she wasn’t sure he could get any redder if he tried. A tomato would have been jealous of the vibrant hue of Aang’s face, and he couldn’t stop staring at the floor, gaze entirely focused on the wooden boards beneath him.

The boy remained silent, and guilt began to fill Katara’s stomach.

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” she frowned, standing up. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I can go change if you want-”

Aang instantly looked up from the ground, quick to clarify his thoughts. “No, sweetie. It’s not that! It’s just- you look absolutely beautiful, and I don’t want me subconsciously staring at you to make you feel uncomfortable or uneasy around me.”

Katara’s eyebrows raised in pleasant surprise, and she patted a spot on the edge of the mattress, beckoning for him to come sit near her before turning back and glaring at herself in the mirror.

“Believe me, sweetie, there is very little you can do to make me feel uncomfortable around you. Honestly, it’s a bit of a compliment knowing that’s how I seem in your eyes,” she said shyly.

The airbender grinned and walked up to her. Feeling a little emboldened, he tenderly wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed a kiss to her cheek, chin barely reaching an inch above her shoulder.

“You could be wearing a potato sack and you’d still be the most beautiful woman in the world to me,” he murmured as his stormy eyes met her cerulean ones through the mirror.

“Really?” she raised an eyebrow and gestured to the mess on her head. “Even with this bird’s nest?”

“Always,” Aang smiled earnestly. “Speaking of, though, do you need some help with that?”

“I appreciate the offer, Aang, but I’ve been trying for the last half hour now and you aren’t exactly the most experienced with hair.”

“Well, maybe a new perspective is just what you need.”

He gently pulled her back towards the mattress a few feet away from the dresser with the mirror and sat her down in front of him. Rolling her eyes, the waterbender handed him her comb, but he simply cast it aside, instead using his nimble fingers to work through the knots and tangles in her hair.

Katara was right- he did have minimal experience with hair, not having much of his own, but he often played with hers when they spent time together. He knew what relaxed her and what didn't, which gave him the perfect means to seize this opportunity and prove her wrong, while also, of course, helping the two unwind and spend some time with one another.

The waterbender had already been quite frustrated when she had started working through her hair, and her movements had reflected that. She was stressed and antsy, and she combed harshly and roughly, only compressing the knotted hair to the end of the strand and making it harder to get out. Between that and the day she had, she had been close to tears and Aang’s gentle touch was just what she needed.

Much of Aang’s stress had been alleviated when he had entered the room earlier in simply being able to see and embrace his girlfriend. Because of this, he was able to take his time and the change of pace was nice for the both of them.

He worked slowly and methodically, fingers lightly massaging the top of her scalp before moving down to dampen and separate her wavy tresses into individual strips of hair with the help of some waterbending. He took care to not tug too hard on any one strand, having heard many a horror story from Katara in the past with her unable to tolerate anyone else handling her sensitive locks. The airbender was determined to make it a pleasant experience for the both of them, and it was.

In fact, Katara had been mildly shocked by the sheer love and effort she felt Aang direct into detangling her hair. It was sweet seeing him put so much energy towards trying something new just to help her, and the tension in her mind that had been knotted up began to unravel as well.

“Halfway,” Aang whispered, breaking her out of her thoughts. His gaze was still intense and focused on her unruly strands as she sighed softly and leaned ever so slightly back into him.

“I’m sorry I ever doubted you,” she murmured back. She closed her eyes as Aang’s rhythmic yet feathery touches to her scalp soothed her and then gave herself a quick look in the mirror through her peripheral vision- her hair was already looking a lot better and far more tame than it had been 15 minutes ago.

“That’s alright, just have a little more faith in your amazing boyfriend next time, yeah?” he winked with a smile, hands moving the hair he had untangled to the front as he directed his concentration to the last section.

This section was by far going to be the hardest-  most of the strands were embedded into a few large and messy knots creating quite a complex network. Nevertheless, Aang was up to the challenge. He began humming an old Air Nomad folk tune, one of the many they’d perform at Yangchen’s Festival, causing Katara to hum along with him as he spread apart the last few unruly waves of hair.

After finishing, he steadily ran his fingers through her hair like a comb, taking extra care to caress the nape of her neck and back of her head as she sighed happily, and gave it one last sweep with the whale-bone comb.

“All done,” he said, tucking a lock behind her ear when she turned around to face him.

The waterbender beamed before lightly pushing him down on the bed as they both sank into the mattress.

“I take it you enjoyed it?” Aang laughed, looking up at her.

“Very much so,” Katara responded. She then carefully angled herself so that she was lying pressed up against Aang’s side, head resting in the crook of his neck.

“It was pretty relaxing for me too,” Aang blushed. “You know I love playing with your hair and this just kinda took it to another level. I’d be happy to do it for you in the future if you ever find yourself fighting with that comb again, that is.”

“I’d like that, Aang. A lot,” she smiled shyly. “It was great to just… unwind. Have you there with me and just relax. I was basically about to cry when you came in and you just melted all my worries away with those magical hands of yours.”

The airbender chuckled, snaking his arm around her shoulders and leaning his head against hers. “Glad to hear it, sweetie. It’s getting late though, and we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow. Time for some rest?”

Katara wordlessly nodded, sighing and closing her eyes as Aang did the same and blew out the candles lighting up the room.

“Thank you for this, sweetie. I love you.”

“I love you too, Tara. Good night.”

The two were taken away into the dream realm, but an unspoken custom was crafted that night. It became a ritual, a way for both of them to calm down and escape the high stress levels of their everyday lives.

When Katara found her dad kissing Malina and it felt like her whole world was crumbling down around her, Aang had snuck into her room that night and combed and plaited her hair until they drifted off into each other’s arms.

When Aang had confided in the waterbender about feeling anxious and insecure about becoming a new father after she had informed him of her pregnancy, Katara had shown up to the stables with a comb and some apples for Appa in tow. The two ended up assuaging each other’s concerns while leaning back against the fluffy bison, much to their attention-seeking flying lemur’s annoyance.

Whether they were stressing over not being able to find an old book from the Southern Water Tribe after moving to Air Temple Island or had just come home after a near-death experience with the most dangerous bloodbender in the world, one of the two would always sit the stressed one down and grab a comb.

It never became a chore or something they dreaded; it was almost a secret love language for the couple. It was a way of reminding each other that no matter what was going on in their lives, they would always find time for each other and help one another. It pulled Aang and Katara out of some of their lowest, darkest moments, and it only accentuated their highs.

Such a simple, pure act born out of nothing but love and a desire to help- it should’ve been insignificant, a one-time thing, but it became so much more. To Katara and Aang, it meant the world.

[poisonedapples]

disability pride month is this month and I figured out fairly early on in the month but have since been just deciding whether or not I should just throw an ask for you to rant about the Service Dog AU so this is your ask to just say anything about the AU.

I know this month is disability month, but I had no idea what I should do this month for this AU, so let’s look at all the Boys and their disabilities (though some of them are less “disabilities” and more “mental health struggles”):

- We all know Roman’s disability at this point, with all his severe anxiety problems. But something I barely bring up is his therapy. He’s been in therapy since the Incident when he was seven, but his first therapist was kinda...bad at helping him. She didn’t believe in medication and pushed him to talk about stuff a LOT when he wasn’t ready, so he hardly opened up to her and his anxiety problems didn’t get much better. She also refused to get him a PTSD diagnosis because “he’s too young for that”, so she wasn’t the best

- Eventually, Roman and his family moved out of their district and into the town that they’re in now when he was ten. Remus got expelled for fighting a student, so their mom took this as an opportunity to move forward and start again. That’s when Roman got Picani as his new therapist, who didn’t have any beliefs that held him back from helping Roman. Not to mention that he specializes in trauma and younger children, so Roman trusted him easier than his other therapist. Picani got him some meds and all his diagnoses, which put him on the path to getting a hell of a lot better. It was Picani’s idea to get a service dog since Roman always freaks out when he’s alone, and a service dog has helped him significantly ever since.

- I’ll go on more about Roman’s therapy in another post because this will already get long as shit, though

- I’ve also done A Lot of posts about Logan’s epilepsy, so we’ll skip that too

- Janus is legally blind! His eye sight started deteriorating when he was nine because of some disease, and since he’s seventeen now he classifies as legally blind. He still loves putting on eye makeup when his parents aren’t around to judge, though. He thinks it just feels nice and he remembers seeing people with awesome eye makeup and just wanting So Bad to have it too, so now he kinda feels his way around makeup for the most part. Remus still doesn’t know how he does it

- Janus’ eyes are a little glossy and kinda foggy from the deterioration, but Janus thinks it’s kinda cool because he looks like some kind of eldrich being. Remus thinks he looks like a ghost because of it, but considering he’s Remus, that’s a compliment

- He is Very light sensitive. He hisses at the sun out of sheer spite on a daily basis

- Speaking of Remus, he has really bad anger issues after his dad died. That’s why he got in fights all the time and got expelled from school, and he was in therapy for it for a couple years. He still has trouble managing it at times, but it’s nowhere near as bad as it used to be

- When he’s having an especially bad day about it, Janus is the only one who can calm him down. He doesn’t take what Remus says to heart, and Remus loves his best friend too much to do more than just scream. Because of this and a load of other reasons, Remus feels like he owes Janus his life. Because in a way, he does

- Another thing with Remus: He has So Much survivor’s guilt. So much. He also just has a shitload of overall guilt because “if I was home that day maybe dad would still be alive and Roman wouldn’t be so fucked up”

- It’s definitely something he’s still working through, but the guilt has gotten a little better from both therapy and time. Also, Janus talks the stupid out of him when it gets especially bad

- Patton has bad depression and Virgil, of course, has generalized anxiety. They both help each other out a lot with that, and with Roman around now (who understands both of their struggles, especially Patton’s problems with grief (even if he can’t talk about death much)), they both have a decent amount of support when it comes to friends

- Patton has been in therapy in the past, but he has so many siblings that there was a point where they couldn’t afford it anymore. Patton goes occasionally when he’s feeling especially horrible, but it’s not as regular as it was. He’s still on antidepressants, though

- Virgil is still in therapy and takes anxiety meds occasionally. Considering his parents only pay for him now (since his older brothers long since moved out), they pay Extra Attention to him and notice when he’s feeling like shit. That, and he’s also close enough with his parents to trust them with his teenage mental stuff, which he’s grateful for

- They’ve all got stuff that messes with their lives in some way, even if it isn’t necessarily a disability like with Roman, Logan and Janus, but they still learn to cope somehow. They’re Very Good Boys who try their hardest unless you’re Janus. He’s just kinda vibing so long as no one’s being an idiot to him you know

[mnthpprt]

Chapter 38: Nocturnal

[Am I procrastinating by writing yet another chapter? Yes I am. Pls send help.]

I wake up only a couple hours later to find Arthur is gone. He must have gone back to write in is room. I don something comfortable and pick up my blood soaked clothes from the bathroom floor to wash them. Though Sebastian knows what I did, I don’t want to wake him up in the middle of the night for this. He has done enough already, and I can deal with the stains myself.

I fetch a bucket and a jar of salt from the kitchen and bring it back to my bedroom before filling it with cold water. I then proceed to scrub as much as I can off the clothes inside the shower, using a thick salt paste, and when the water stops running red, I lather them in soap and leave them to soak in the bucket. The stains are fairly fresh, so hopefully they will come out in a day or two.

After drying myself off, I leave to aimlessly roam around the mansion. I need to do something, anything, to keep my mind occupied. I eventually end up in the attic, crawling onto the roof through the dormer window. I am pleased to find Jean is there. I don’t think I could handle being alone with my thoughts.

“Mind if I join you?” I ask, knocking on the window frame. Jean turns to glance at me before shuffling over, making space for me beside him on the edge. “This is becoming a habit, huh?”

“It’s not one I’m opposed to,” he shrugs. I light a cigarillo, and he looks at it disapprovingly. “Unlike that one.”

“Sorry.” Before I can smother the flame on the roof tiles, he holds my hand to stop me.

“I was joking...” he mutters. “I don’t mind if you smoke.”

I... did not think Jean had a sense of humor. His is a lot like Mozart’s, I think, in the sense that it’s hard to tell when they’re kidding. I chuckle and look up at the sky. The sun is still nowhere near the horizon. It must be around 3 in the morning.

After exhaling a cloud of smoke, I glance at Jean to notice him staring at my arm. My sleeves are still rolled up from the laundry, and most of my tattoos are fully exposed.

“Is that some sort of plant?” he shyly asks. I nod.

“A monstera adansonii. I used to work in a flower shop, and this is my favorite plant that we sold,” I explain. Though it is commonly referred to as ‘Swiss cheese plant’, the holes on its leaves have always reminded me of the craters on the moon.

“I own a shop too,” he quietly informs me, catching me by surprise. “I sell weapons.”

“Sounds about right,” I chuckle. His fascination with the objects is evident in his bedroom. “Do you make them yourself?”

“Only some of them. I mostly just make slight alterations.”

“Must be a lot of work, if you also own the place,” I ponder out loud. “No wonder I rarely see you during the day, you must be so busy.”

“Napoleon helps me with the paperwork. I wouldn’t be able to manage without him.” I tilt my head, wondering what he means by that. “I, uh... I can’t read or write,” he explains.

“Oh.” It makes sense, given the time that he lived in. Most people back then were illiterate. I open my mouth when a thought occurs to me, but quickly close it and sink down against the chimney, resigned.

“What is it?”

“I was going to offer to teach you, but I’m not much better off myself,” I chuckle. “I could not spell in French if my life depended on it. I can kind of read it, though. That, I might be able to help you with.”

“... Thank you,” he murmurs after a brief pause, before turning to look at me with his good eye. “I am glad that you are staying here, Anaïs.”

“Yeah, about that...” I mutter. “I think I understand how you felt that night. These baby vampire impulses are... a bit too much to handle. It’s rough.”

Jean nods slowly and looks away from me, as if thinking about something. When he finally speaks again, his voice is even softer than usual.

“You slipped, didn’t you?” His unexpected question makes me tense beside him. I guess he feels it, because he continues. “I was up here when you came back. I saw you.”

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” I sigh. “It was bad. I mean, it was self defence, but that doesn’t make it any less awful...”

“It does,” he declares. “Do you think that person would have died if they hadn’t attacked you?”

“Not really, but-”

“Then they deserved it and their blood is not on your hands,” he cuts me off. “Not literally, at least.”

I hadn’t thought of it that way. The logic in his argument is not exactly airtight, but it’s better than blaming myself for what I did. I helped Jean hate himself a little less, it’s time to let him do the same for me. Satisfied with my new mindset, I bring the cigarillo to my lips and inhale a deep puff.

“... People,” I finally correct him after I blow out the smoke. He looks at me, confusion in his ocean blue eye. “There were two people.”

“And you took them down on your own?” he inquires. I shrug. It’s not exactly something I’m proud of. “Impressive. I didn’t think a frail little woman like you could defeat one, even as a vampire.”

“Hey, I’m stronger than I look,” I laugh. I am still not sure whether he was teasing me or not, but I chose to take it that way. He looks at me before shaking his head.

“Nah, I don’t believe that.” Yeah, he is definitely messing with me this time.

“I am, I swear!” I play along, gently smacking his muscular arm. “Wanna take this to the training room?”

Instead of replying, he gets up and offers me his hand. I take it, letting him effortlessly pull me to my feet, and follow him back inside.

“You know,” I say on the way there, “I’ve been wanting to learn how to fight properly for a while. Ever since I saw you and Napoleon on my first day here.”

“How about I teach you that, and you teach me how to read?” he suggests. I smile.

“I’ll do my best.”

When we enter the training room, Jean turns the switch on the wall, making the lights turn on with a flicker. I wonder how he feels about all this new technology, so unfamiliar to him. He seems to have gotten somewhat used to electricity and running water, at least. Although I’m pretty sure his brain would implode if he saw the things that are common in my time.

He exchanges his rapier for a wooden version of it he takes from the rack in the corner, and hands me another one, identical to his. It’s heavier than I expected. I hold it between my thighs to tie my hair up as Jean expertly waves his sword around with a flourish, getting accustomed to the different handle in his hand. What did I just get myself into? Whatever it is, it’s going to be fun.

“En garde!” He takes a stance, and I try to mimic it, but my thin right arm is unused to the weight of the weapon, so my left hand instinctually joins to support it. “No, use only one hand,” he instructs. “Like this.”

I am surprised to see I can easily hold it up once I get past the mental barrier of what my human body was capable of. I am stronger and more resilient than I have ever been, though I think I’ll need some time to get used to that.

“Alright, I’m going to attack now. Try to block it,” he warns be before lunging forward and thrusting his sword towards my stomach. The movement is deliberately slow to give me time to deflect it, which I successfully do. 

He slashes at me again, stepping closer. I push his sword to the side with my own, but it comes back in full force. I barely manage to block it this time, reeling backwards.

“Focus,” he orders me. “There is more than one way to avoid being hit.”

I nod, taking the hint. When he attacks again, I am quick to dodge his sword, focusing on agility rather than strength. While I struggled significantly to parry Jean’s hits, I can effortlessly jump and twist out of the way without ever having to lift my own sword. His movements accelerate, and I follow along, resulting in a graceful dance between us. It reminds me of waltz with Mozart, how he had spun me around the ballroom until my vision blurred and I struggled to keep up with his quick footwork.

“Ow!” I cry out in pain when Jean’s sword hits my hand, right on my knuckles.

“Désolé! (Sorry)” he apologizes, lowering his weapon. “Not bad, Anaïs. How come you’re so fast? You’ve never trained before.”

I simply point at my skates across the room, the red suede boots having become part of the training room’s vast collection of equipment over time. I started leaving them here, on the floor near a corner, when I realized I could never use them outside of the mansion.

“When you’re falling from a triple spin in the air, you gotta be quick or you end up breaking your leg, or something,” I chuckle. Jean nods, his eyebrows raised, as if he just considered that possibility for the first time. He probably did, but to be fair, he has been watching me skate for a month now. He should know better.

I slowly flex my fingers over the sword’s handle, but wince in pain when I try to move my pinky. It’s too sore for me to continue training.

“Are you hurt?” Jean asks, concerned. I shake my head.

“I’ll be fine, it’s just my pinky,” I brush it off. “It will be healed in a day or so.”

“We should continue another day, then.”

I want to argue, but he’s right. I can barely hold the sword straight. My pinky might have taken the brunt of it, but the dull ache expands through my entire hand.

“Okay, but I’m gonna skate instead, if you don’t mind,” I finally give in, walking to ‘my’ corner of the room, before kicking my shoes off. “I have way too much energy. I fear I’ll end up eating someone again if I don’t get rid of it somehow.”

As I struggle to tie my laces with a semi-numb hand, I remember something. I look up at Jean and stare at him for a few seconds before voicing my thoughts.

“Do you know any songs?”

“Yes, why?” he asks, confused.

“My headphones are dead.”

“Headphones?” He sits on the floor beside me and tilts his head.

“Yeah, you know those little things I wear in my ears sometimes?” I remind him. “They play music. And, well, it’s kinda weird for me to skate without music, so I was wondering if you could sing something...”

“Did I accidentally hit your head?”

I snort at his genuine question. Of course, he seems even more confused by my explanation. It is then that I remember my phone still works. I turned it off after my first night here to preserve the battery. It must be in my room somewhere, along with my wireless earplugs.

“Wait here,” I tell him, quickly pulling off my skates. “I’m just gonna show you. I’ll be right back.”

That said, I jump up and run barefoot out of the training room. I have no idea how I’m gonna explain this to Jean without him thinking it’s witchcraft, but it might be better if I just let him see it for himself.

[cheliceraekisses]

Vintage Voidcraft

F/F - android/mechanic - nsfw 18+

A mechanic from the frontier of space gets her dream girl and her dream ship, all in one day.

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26112583

The bell over the door of the hangar rung, pulling Jay’s attention away from the magazine she’d been poring over. She sighed. Customers were good, but she’d been hoping to spend the rest of her day with the latest issue of Vintage Voidcraft. Hopefully they’d at least driven something interesting into her shop, and not another one of those boring, sterile ships Rekko kept putting out. She tossed her magazine on the table, putting on her best customer service smile before leaving the office.

She rounded the corner to the lobby area she’d set up in the hangar and froze, looking at the prettiest girl she’d seen since, well, since coming to Ceres Station, this backwater in the middle of nowhere. Her practised smile fell away immediately. She was short, maybe five feet, and dressed all in pastels, a leather choker with a heart shaped ring at the front topping it off. Her blue skirt went down to mid-thigh, with pink knee socks and plain white flats. Her long white hair, streaked with pink and blue, fell over her shoulders, framing a lacy white blouse. Really, in every way, the opposite of Jay’s black tank, red flannel and half undone overalls. She would have done up the other side, if she knew where the button had gotten to. The pretty girl was looking up at the bell with an amused smile on her face.

Jay cleared her throat to get the girl’s attention, but before she could launch into her usual welcome, she was cut off with a giggle.

“Why do you have a bell on a sliding door?” The girl asked, her voice melodic and sweet and just as pretty as she was.

“Huh? Oh, that. My parents owned a mechanic shop back on Earth, I guess it reminds me of home?” She looked at the work she’d done, attaching a short rod to the door to hit the bell on its way past. “It’s kinda silly but it didn’t feel right in here without it.” She gave an embarrassed chuckle, blushing furiously.

Desperately searching for something to say, her eyes landed on the empty hangar. “So, what brings you in today?” She asked. “Don’t see a ship in here, did you fly in?”

“My ship broke down in an asteroid field a couple parsecs out,” came the reply from behind her. “Had to hitchhike here. I heard you could give me a tow, so here I am.”

“Yeah, sure, give me a minute to bring my ship around and we can go. You can wait in the office if you like.” She gestured to the small building she’d set up in the corner and, trying to hide her blush, fled the hangar far faster than she’d meant to. The dingle of the bell as she left did nothing to help her embarrassment.

The second the door was closed, she pulled out her phone, pulling up the camera and checking to see how obvious her blush had been. Very obvious, apparently, her cheeks almost as red as the old flannel shirt her dad had given her. No way the girl didn’t know she was totally smitten. Worse yet, she realized she’d forgotten to even ask for her customer’s name. Smooth. This run was going to be the death of her.

She took her time starting up her ship, checking the cockpit to make sure she hadn’t left anything embarrassing around. The ship was old and reliable, and she made sure to keep it in good shape despite it’s age. She’d had it since she left earth and never had a problem she couldn’t fix. She was saving up to buy herself a second, personal ship and leave this one for work, but nothing on the market now interested her and vintage craft were always expensive.

The engine sputtered to life, roaring in the commercial hangar full of silent, modern ships. Jay never understood the point, every engine was silent once you got it into space anyway. Besides, how could you drive a ship when you couldn’t hear what it was doing? She just couldn’t get the hang of looking to the screens for every little thing. It took too long, and half the time it didn’t tell her what she wanted to know anyway. She hoped the pretty girl waiting in her office agreed.

The drive around Ceres station took around ten minutes, but it was another five before Jay worked up the courage to step off the ship and find the mystery woman. She found her in the office, reading her copy of Vintage Voidcraft and smiling to herself. She looked up when Jay walked in, dropping the magazine where it was, open to a page on N.A.I.A.D. class ships.

“Paper? Not digital?” She asked, gesturing to the magazine.

“Oh, yeah, the relays out here suck, half the time it’s quicker to get the paper copies in.” It really was, the slow sub-FTL connections completely flooded with the station admin’s traffic. God knows when your data would get through. “Plus, this way I’ve got stuff to leave out for customers to read. It just, uh, you know.”

“Feels like home?” Her voice had taken on a teasing lilt that made Jay’s heart jump into her throat.

“Yeah, that,” she finally managed. This girl was gonna kill her. “By the way, I forgot to ask your name before?”

For the first time, Jay felt like she’d gotten the upper hand, the question making the girl start. “Um, my name? It’s, er,” she floundered for a moment. “Nadia. It’s Nadia.”

“Mine’s Jay,” Jay replied easily, still basking in having made the gorgeous woman flustered. Nadia, pretty. It suited her.

“I know,” Nadia said, the smile returning to her face. She knew? Well, it was on the door, Jay supposed, and it’s not like she had any employees.

“Well, tow’s here. Should we get going?”

“Sure,” Nadia said, moving to the door and ending up very close to Jay. Too close, she thought, looking down at the other girl. Her eyes really were gorgeous, a bright, coppery brown with a vertical line of pale gold cutting through the irises. Definitely robotic.

Her staring was cut off after several seconds by a gentle cough. “Are we going?” She asked, fully recovered and back to teasing by now. Jay jumped, spluttering out an apology and leading the way to the ship.

Jay prepared herself for the worst as Nadia came back out to the hangar, looking at her old beater of a ship. Surprisingly though, Nadia just smiled at it. “You take good care of her, huh?” Was all she said, running her hand over the paint before boarding. Jay beamed, her whole month made by just one bit of praise from a pretty girl.

“So,” Jay said, dropping into the captain’s chair and pulling up a map, “where did you say you left your ship?”

“Just over here,” Nadia said, pointing to the screen.

“Just over here” turned out to be several hours out, and Jay groaned inwardly, realizing how long she’d be spending in close proximity to the prettiest woman she’d ever met. They’d barely met an hour ago, and already she could barely contain herself. The next six hours were going to be rough.

Thankfully, Nadia opened up the conversation and saved her. “So, you like vintage ships too, huh?” She asked with a warm smile.

��Too?” Jay asked hopefully.

“Yeah, spaceflight used to be so much more classy. New ships just feel so cold?”

Jay was over the moon. Not only was this girl damn near exactly her type, she loved old ships. They slipped into conversation easily, swapping stories about the coolest old ships they’d gotten to drive, repair, and even just see in the wild. Before Jay noticed two hours were gone and they’d nearly reached the asteroid field.

“So,” she asked, slipping back into work mode. “What kind of ship are we looking for out here, anyway?”

“Don’t freak out too bad,” Nadia said with a smug grin. “It’s a N.A.I.A.D.-3.”

Jay freaked out. How could she not, the N.A.I.A.D.-3 was her dream ship, the one that cost way more than a frontier system mechanic would ever see and made her consider a career shift to piracy whenever she’d gotten to work on one. That settled it, she had to marry this girl. Guiltily, she hoped the ship would be more than a little damaged, so Nadia would stay around Ceres station for a while. There wasn’t much at the station, but she figured she could pull a decent date together if she tried.

Sadly —no, happily, she reminded herself— the ship appeared perfectly fine from a distance, floating safely behind an asteroid. She pulled her ship up next to it, feeling more than a little jealous parking her blocky old tow ship next to the gorgeous little dart. The N.A.I.A.D.-3 was built for speed, with an engine that purred like a cheetah and a beautiful, sleek profile. Nadia’s ship was in perfect condition too, clearly well-loved and taken care of.

“Before you get the tow hooked up, wanna go over and look around? Engine’s busted but the ship itself is still working fine,” Nadia said, with an easy smile. Not waiting for an answer, she turned on Jay’s short range boarding system and jumped across. Jay didn’t hesitate, jumping out of her chair to follow.

The interior was just as gorgeous as the outside, clearly redone recently. Every surface was polished, onyx panels with gold controls laid out before a black leather captain’s chair. The lighting was warm, easy on the eyes but bright enough to see everything. Standing next to the chair, Nadia threw a jokey salute. “Have a seat, Captain,” she practically purred, laughing. So this was what love felt like, Jay thought, relaxing into the comfiest chair she’d probably ever sat in.

Nadia bit her bottom lip, moving the second Jay’s eyes were off of her. She casually crossed the small cockpit, climbing into the chair and dropping into Jay’s lap, facing her. Jay’s eyes went wide, her cheeks glowing. “Nadia? What are you—”

“Shush,” Nadia whispered, leaning in to kiss her.

Jay returned the kiss enthusiastically, almost immediately realizing something. Nadia wasn’t human. More than just the natural excitement of kissing the prettiest girl she’d ever seen, Nadia’s tongue made her’s tingle, like licking a battery. So she was an android then. Jay spared a thought for a few of the magazines she ordered that didn’t make it to the rack in her lobby. That was just fine with her.

What was quickly becoming a problem however, was that Nadia clearly had no need for oxygen. Jay pulled away from the kiss to breathe, feeling light headed, and before she could gasp down a single breath Nadia was chasing her down, pinning her head to the chair and sucking her tongue, hard. Jay finally had to push her back, just for a moment, to catch her breath.

Nadia laughed, watching Jay intently and worrying her lip while Jay breathed. Idly, Jay wondered if she was one of those androids who were just, well, into humans. She certainly seemed to be enjoying the show.

After a moment, seeing Jay wasn’t going to be done soon, Nadia spoke. “I should apologize, I told you a couple lies earlier.” She reached behind Jay, pressing a couple buttons on the control panel, and the ship’s engine roared to life. “The ship’s not broken at all. I...” She paused, looking nervous. “I brought it here to give it to you. As a gift.”

Jay just stared, all thoughts of catching her breath gone. After a moment, Nadia continued. “I... I fell in love with you a while back. So I brought you this...” She laughed awkwardly, waiting for Jay to say something.

“Do we... Have we met before?” Jay asked quietly. She figured she would have remembered meeting someone so exactly her type.

“Not exactly,” Nadia sighed. She took a moment to gather her courage. “Nadia isn’t my name. I’m the N.A.I.A.D.’s control system. Er, not just this one. All of them.”

Jay had stars in her eyes. She’d met androids before, of course, and she knew the N.A.I.A.D. class ships had a networked control system, but for a whole system like that to wake up as an A.I. was the kind of thing you only ever heard rumours about. “Wait so, how did you fall— No wait, better question. Your name’s Naiad and for your fake name you went with Nadia?”

Naiad pouted, looking away to the side. “Look I... Set all this up, bought this body,” She indicated herself. Er, her android self. “Picked one of my ships, had the whole thing refitted for you, came up with this whole story, I had a lot on my plate. I forgot you humans cared so much about names anyway, and when you asked me I—”

“You panicked,” Jay said, stifling a laugh. Naiad’s pout deepened, and Jay threw her arms around her with a laugh. “So, can we kiss some more?” She asked.

Naiad didn’t bother responding, instead diving right in, shoving her tongue in the butch girl’s mouth. The shocking feeling was stronger this time, nearly making Jay’s tongue numb. She moaned into the kiss. She could get used to this.

At length, they stopped kissing, just sitting together comfortably. “So,” Jay started, “What did make you fall in love with me then?”

“I... My bodies... That is, the ships, obviously they’ve been to a lot of mechanics. Most of them hated working on such old ships, or they were just... Rough on me, or sometimes they’d recommend scrapping the ship entirely and buying a new one. But every time someone brought one to Ceres, they’d get directed to your place, and you always took such good care of me.” Naiad looked embarrassed, and if she could have blushed, she probably would have. “Perfect replacement parts, pretty new paint jobs, I could feel how much you love your job every time I visited. Pretty soon... I guess I wanted to return the favour, and take care of you as well,” she said, her tone making it clear exactly how she wanted to return the favour.

Jay could feel herself getting harder by the second, as Naiad’s tone steadily turned to honey. Of course, she wouldn’t deny being taken care of, but... “Naiad,” she whispered, “How do I take care of you too? Do I just have to do maintenance on the ship while we fuck?” She laughed at the image. She’d never been with an android before, and even if she had she imagined Naiad would be a special case.

Naiad quietly took Jay’s hands, raising them to her breasts. They felt surprisingly real, and the moan she let out was genuine, the hottest sound Jay had ever heard. Her body must have cost a small fortune. All to fuck a mechanic from the backwaters of the frontier. She couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well,” Naiad began, pausing to gasp loudly as Jay groped her. “I can feel everything you do to this body.” She started to slowly roll her hips, ghosting her apparently uncovered slit over Jay’s growing bulge. The light tingle between her legs told Jay Naiad had the same electricity coursing through her pussy as through her tongue, and her cock twitched, spurting pre at the thought. “But maybe I bought a few special upgrades for the ship as well,” she gave Jay a lustful look, biting her lip as she slid herself back off the chair and onto the floor, palming Jay’s cock through her overalls. As she did so, a flash of silver pulled Jay’s attention upwards, to a pair of steel tentacles extending from the cabin’s roof. Tenderly, they pushed her flannel off her shoulders hooking their way into the arms and gently pulling it away to fall behind the chair. Naiad smiled up at her, a mischievous glint in her eye, and popped the button on her overalls, pulling them down while the tentacles hooked through the straps of her tank top, tugging it off as well. Naiad’s fingers played softly across her abs, watching in wonder as the muscles tensed under her touch.

It took Jay a moment to realize how quickly she’d been stripped, only registering as she felt the cool air of the cabin on the head of her cock. She looked back down to see Naiad playing with her, bringing her the rest of the way to attention. She smiled up at her lover, searching her face for any signs of discomfort before giving the same half salute she’d given before. “You’re so big, Captain,” she drawled, kissing her way up and down the shaft in front of her, eyes widening with every twitch.

Meanwhile, with a soft sound of metal scraping, the tentacles opened, revealing something akin to suction cups. One attached itself to Jay’s breast, and the other went to her neck, suckling, sure to leave an enormous bruise. She closed her eyes, focusing on the pleasure, trying to think how she could repay the favour.

She got her answer when something bumped against her lips. Opening her eyes in shock, she saw a third tentacle had descended from the roof, this one with an artificial dick not unlike the one she kept by her bed at home on the end. Except for that this one likely cost several thousand dollars more, judging by the sound Naiad made as she excitedly leaned forward, taking it into her mouth as deep as she could and swallowing around it. So she could feel through the tentacles then. She raised a hand to rub the tentacle, matching pace with her bobbing head, trying to draw more noises from the beautiful girl in front of her.

Jay’s pace broke when Naiad’s tongue touched the tip of her length, sending a jolt coursing through her. She bucked her hips, hard, accidentally sinking the head of her cock into Naiad’s mouth fully, locking up, fearing the stimulation would overwhelm her. After several seconds of somehow managing to hold back, her lover turned up the power, flicking her tongue over the head of her cock and driving her over the edge, cum flooding Naiad’s mouth and spurting past her lips, falling down her chin and splattering onto her blouse. She kept sucking, doing her best to draw forth every drop, before sitting back, proud of her work, watching her tentacles roughly handle her love.

Jay pulled the tentacle out of her mouth, giving it a long, wet lick, and reached a hand out towards the android. “Come up here,” she said with a smirk, “Let me undress you.” She pulled the girl into her lap, kissing her passionately, moaning at the taste of her own cum and the tingling sensation that accompanied kissing Naiad. Her hands went to her hips, sliding under the blouse and lifting up, fingers dancing up along her back before pulling the blouse over her head, smearing more than a little cum on her face and hair in the process. Naiad didn’t seem to mind, laughing and running her finger through the cum splattered on her cheek, slowly licking it off.

Next went her skirt, shimmying it down her hips, revealing a cute little patch of artificial hair, pastel pink and blue split down the middle, over a very realistic looking pussy, wet and inviting enough to have Jay stiffening all over again, despite how sore her cock felt. Having the girl of her dreams in her lap and the tentacles, now both on her small tits, sucking away was certainly helping. Naiad’s shoes hit the floor at some point while she was staring, but when the android reached to remove her knee socks Jay reached out to gently push her hands away. Naiad cocked an eyebrow at her, moving her hands to gently tug at Jay’s cock instead.

As Jay relaxed into the feeling of Naiad preparing her cock for another round, she felt a pressure from below her, coming out of the chair she sat in. A moment later, sure enough, a fourth tentacle slipped through the chair, pushing itself up against her ass, already lubed. It wormed its way, slowly opening her up but barely going inside her. Meanwhile, a fifth tentacle slid out, fondling at her balls and the base of her cock. She moaned, grabbing the tentacle still waiting near her mouth and sucking it down into her throat, hoping to provoke some action out of her new girlfriend. Well, hopefully girlfriend.

Naiad moaned, falling forwards to lay her head against Jay’s neck. Fine, if she wanted it so bad, she could have it. All at once, she slid her tentacle inside her lover while dropping her hips down in one smooth motion, taking her right to the base. Rather than waiting for the girl to get used to it, she started bouncing, timing the sucking and thrusting of her tentacles perfectly with the roll of her hips. For the first few seconds anyway. Riding in a body she wasn’t used to yet turned out to be harder than she’d anticipated, and she quickly found herself falling forwards, only for the mechanic’s strong arms to catch her. Jay tried to look as smug as she could with a tentacle-cock in her mouth, moving her arms around Naiad’s hips and steadying her, guiding the roll of her hips and showing her exactly how to move.

A particularly deep thrust had Naiad moaning lewdly again, only this time she moaned through the ship’s speakers as well. She gripped tightly to Jay’s arms, seemingly taking as much pleasure from the mechanic’s manhandling of her as from the fucking. The lights flickered, the tentacles perfect rhythm faltered, and the noises of Naiad’s pleasure came out of the speakers at ever increasing volumes. Several of the monitors around the room flashed warnings, as various safety features, convinced the ship was suffering a catastrophic core meltdown, fired off. Through it all, Naiad refused to give her lover even a second of rest, pulling the tentacle from her mouth and stuffing it between their joined breasts, pushing the suckling tentacles to tug at Jay’s neck and pulling her into a passionately violent kiss.

Naiad finally came with an explosion of sound, as her final cries of “Don’t stop” and “I love you” blasted over the speakers. The tentacles jerkily continued their assault, spraying thick, white simulated cum over the two of them, the power in her body ratcheting up further, the shock coursing through Jay and dragging her over the edge as well, her cock spasming and flooding Naiad’s cunt with her seed. The thought of getting the android knocked up flashed through her mind, pulling her back to the brink, and it seemed the same had occurred to Naiad as she moaned the words into Jay’s mouth, redoubling her efforts despite the orgasm only just finished tearing through her. Relying entirely on Jay’s arms to guide her, Naiad slammed her hips up and down, milking a final orgasm out of each of them before her body’s safety features kicked in to prevent her from literally fucking her lover to death.

Naiad collapsed onto Jay, lying still against her chest. Jay breathed heavily, finally having the opportunity to breathe easily again. She watched as the tentacles retracted, pulled Naiad close in her arms, and let herself drift off.

---

Jay woke up looking around to find she was in her bed at home. She briefly panicked, thinking perhaps the whole experience was a dream, before catching sight of pink and blue through the door to her room. She dragged herself out of bed, finding Naiad on her couch, playing with her collection of old video games. She smiled, plopping down on the couch next to her and hugging her close.

“Morning sleepy,” Naiad said, looking slightly embarrassed at having the mechanic’s arms holding her again. “Sorry, some of us don’t need to sleep,” she shrugged, missing an easy jump for a moon and falling to her death. Cute, they’d have to work on that.

“Nah, it’s okay.” Jay blinked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “So, like, uh... What... Happens now?” She was too tired for this discussion, but she wanted to know sooner than later.

“The ship’s yours to keep, like I said. It’s a courting gift,” Naiad shrugged. “I got it all registered to you when we got home. As for me,” she turned her head to the side, ignoring the sounds of her character getting knocked off the stage by an enemy. “I’m yours to keep as well, assuming earlier meant as much to you as it did to me,” she said, hopefully.

Jay kissed her, deeply, quietly reaching over to move her character out of the way of another pointless death. She pulled back, looking into her gorgeous, coppery eyes, a satisfied, easy smile on her face. “Of course, beautiful. I love you too.”

[sushigirlali]

If You Don't Love Me, Lie To My Face - Part I (Reylo Fanfic)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Epilogue 

Summary: Grifter!Rey helps U.S. Senator Leia Organa's son, Ben Solo, out of a jam when a couple of muggers invade her turf. Afterward, she debates robbing the rich American herself, but can she protect her heart while stealing his?

Pairing: Rey + Ben Solo | Finn + Poe Dameron

Rating: E

Continuity: Modern AU

A/N: For the first time ever, I’ve actually written most of the story before I started posting! I think it will be way less stressful since I don’t have to “keep up” with updates. New chapters will be posted each Friday. Enjoy!

Master list –> AO3 | ff.net | Tumblr

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If You Don't Love Me, Lie To My Face - Part I

By: sushigirlali

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Kennington, London

——————

There are moments in life that make you question everything that came before. A look from a stranger, an incident at your job, a terrible movie... things Rey Niima was usually able to push past without pause, but tonight, she was finding it extremely difficult to ignore the feeling that her life was about to change forever.

"Hey, give us your wallet!" A pair of brawlers had cornered a man at the mouth of a nearby alley, drawing Rey's attention as soon as she stepped out the back door of her favorite pub, The Black Prince.

"Excuse me?" the would-be victim responded indignantly. His voice was deep with an American lilt, his stature intimidating.

Did these fools really think they could steal from a man like that? But then, not all criminals were as intelligent as her.

"You heard me! I want your wallet!"

Rey hung back from the potentially violent situation unfolding before her, sizing up the assailants. Their outfits were all black, including the ski masks covering their faces, but she couldn't see any identifying marks or gang affiliations. "Must be lone wolves," she thought.

There was something familiar about the tall one doing the talking, but she couldn't place them. It probably didn't matter, though, because the redwood with the nice accent looked like he could take the both of them with one hand tied behind his broad back.

Still, for some reason, she was finding it hard to walk the other way. Definitely not because the man was the most striking person she had ever seen. No, it had to be due to the fact that these bums were causing a ruckus on her turf. At least, that's what she kept telling herself, frozen to the spot as she was.

"Listen, I just got done volunteering at a shelter all day and just want to get home. Please allow me to leave unmolested."

"Volunteering at a shelter?" she muttered under her breath. "Well, fuck. But it's not your business, don't get involved." Rey was turning around to go back inside the pub when the sound of a gun cocking drew her up short.

"Don't make me repeat myself again, pretty boy."

"Whoa, hey, there's no need for that!"

"Then empty your pockets! Now!"

"No," he said crossly. "Put that thing away before somebody gets hurt."

"Dammit," Rey groaned, retrieving the silver baton clipped to her belt. Sometimes, she really hated having a conscience; in her line of work, it was a real liability.

"Hey, get your hands off me!"

"Oh, for fuck's sake," she growled, resolutely stalking toward the turbulent scene. "Oi! You lot!"

The big guy and his sidekick paused to look in her direction. "What?" the leader said in a surprisingly feminine voice.

"Not a guy," Rey mused. "Based on your absolutely abominable bullying technique, I don't think you're getting that guy's wallet any time this century, so why don't you just leave him alone and move along."

"Excuse me?" the woman said threateningly.

"I'm sorry, did I stutter?"

"You move along, little mouse, this doesn't concern you!" the shorter guy spat.

"You do know who's neighborhood this is, don't you?" Rey said tauntingly.

"Yeah?" the first one said dismissively. "So what."

"So, knock it off! We don't need the fuzz coming down here because some hooligans are roughing up a foreigner."

"Hooligans?! And who the fuck are you?"

"Me?" Rey sneered, flicking the baton out to the side so that it extended into a long poll. "I'm no one."

"Phas," the skinny guy said nervously, obviously recognizing her at last, "we should go."

Rey had never been so proud of her reputation as a grifter who was just as likely to steal an expensive piece of art from the peerage in an elaborate heist as kick a thug's ass in the street.

"But the boss—"

"He'll understand."

"But—"

"Phas!"

"Fine. But don't think this is over!" the woman yelled before running off with her companion.

"Well," the American said slowly, "that was an experience I never wish to repeat again." He smiled at her. "Thank you," he said sincerely.

"You're welcome," Rey replied gruffly, still riding high on adrenaline. "Do you always walk around by yourself at night in a city not your own?"

"Do you always save unsuspecting passersby from thieves?" he retorted.

Her phone went off, but she didn't answer it. Up close, the man was even more attractive than she had initially thought. "Suit looks expensive, too… and is that a Breitling?" Perhaps it was her lucky night after all. "Only if they're handsome," she said smoothly.

"Oh, uh��" he flushed at her compliment.

"Hmm… not the reaction I expected." It was kind of refreshing, though. "Sorry, I—ugh, one sec," she said as her cell went off again. "My brother," she explained, checking the caller ID. "I have to take this or he'll just keep phoning until I pick up."

The man shrugged, "No problem, I'll just wait over here." He stepped up onto the curb and walked a few paces away.

Rey nodded and lifted the phone to her ear. "What?" she said shortly.

"Who's the stiff?" Finn asked without preamble.

"Nobody."

"Right," he huffed. "Are you working him?"

"Undecided, stop pushing."

"Whatever you say, Rey. Just be careful."

"I will. Where are you anyway?" she said, humored by his tough older sibling act.

"Hanging outside the pub, just around the corner. Why? You need me?" Finn teased.

"No, I'll catch you later. Don't wait up." She ended the conversation before he could respond and stuffed the phone into her back pocket. "Sorry about that, uh…?"

"Ben," the stranger supplied, moving closer again. "Ben Solo."

"I'm Rey," she said, holding out a hand.

Ben's lips quirked and he gave her a firm handshake, his huge hand dwarfing hers. Rey felt a shiver run up her spine at the brief contact, but she shook it off.

"So, what's that for?" he indicated the weapon still in her hand. "Joining the circus?"

"No," she grinned, "it's a bo staff. I use it for self defense."

"And the defense of others," he said warmly.

"On occasion." She folded the bo staff back into a baton before reattaching it to her belt.

"Can I get you a drink?" he nodded toward the pub. "To say thank you?"

"I was actually on my way home before I… bumped into you."

"I could… walk you home? If you want." He didn't sound desperate, but it was a near thing.

"I'm not from around here," she said evasively. She couldn't really bring him back to her base of operations, which was only a few blocks down the street, but she didn't want to stop talking to him either. "What a dilemma."

"No? Where are you from then?"

"Nowhere."

"Okay… Well, I promise I'm not a pervert or a serial killer or anything," he said earnestly, "so you can come back to my hotel with me if you want. It's late and I'd hate for anything to happen to you."

She crossed her arms. "Because I'm a woman?"

"Hey, I'm 6'3" and double your weight and I almost got jumped like ten minutes ago," he reminded her. "It can happen to anyone."

"Fair enough," she allowed, lowering her defenses. "Still…"

"I can call my security detail if you want verification that I'm not a psycho," he offered. "I'd just like the opportunity to get to know the woman who saved my hide."

Rey's interest sharpened. "That's sweet, but uh… security detail?"

"Yeah," he said nonchalantly. "My mother is a U.S. Senator. I'm in town on her behalf. She was supposed to come herself, but her re-election campaign is heating up and she couldn't spare the time."

"You disapprove," she said perceptively.

Ben's dark brows shot up. "Yeah, actually. You a mind reader, Rey from nowhere?"

"Something like that," she smirked. "I prefer the term grifter."

"Grifter?" he said curiously. "What does that mean, exactly?"

"Oh, you know," Rey winked for effect, assuming the privileged American was about to run in the opposite direction, "I swindle rich people out of their valuables by preying on their weaknesses. Basically, I'm a professional bad guy."

Ben looked hopelessly confused by her explanation. "But you just helped me."

"Well, sometimes I like to help out the little guy." Rey looked him over. "Little big guys too."

"Like Robin Hood?" he said, disarming her with a crooked smile.

"What? I wouldn't say I'm—I'm a hero or anything," she stuttered.

"Well, you're my hero," he said smoothly, holding out a hand. "That's my driver pulling up over there, in the black Jag. Join me? Please?"

"I… okay," she agreed, placing her hand in his, "but just for a little while." This time, she couldn't ignore the shiver.

——————

Alarm bells should be going off in her head, but Rey felt perfectly comfortable with her new companion. It was odd, considering her trust issues, but Ben didn't seem to be only interested in her looks. And she knew she looked good tonight, her dark leather leggings were basically painted on and her lacy bra was visible through a mostly sheer black tank top. Add on her subtle smoky makeup and half-up hair style that emphasized her cheek bones and...

"Rey?"

She loved the way he said her name, almost like a caress. "Yes?"

"Are you hungry? I haven't had dinner yet."

"Oh, sure," she said, never one to give up a free meal. Though she did kinda wish something else was on the menu… "What is wrong with you? You just met the man! Note to self: masturbate more."

"Chinese okay?"

Her mouth watered. "Perfect."

"What do you like?"

"Besides you?" she said without thinking. "Uh, I mean—anything, really. Noodles, if they have them."

Ben let her comment pass, but he was beaming. "I like noodles too. Maybe some kind of chicken? Orange?"

"Excellent," she seconded.

"You're easy," he said, but then caught himself, looking horrified. "I mean to order food for, not—"

"It's okay," she laughed, patting his thigh. "I know what you meant."

"Sorry, I haven't done this in a long time," he said sheepishly, catching her hand before she could remove it.

"This?"

"Gone on a date."

"Oh." Was this a date? Rey couldn't remember the last time she had been on one. Pretty much anytime she'd been alone with a man not her brother in the past ten years it was because she intended to rob them.

"Not that this has to be a date," he said quickly, releasing her hand. "Sorry, I keep saying stupid things."

Dammit, but he was cute. "You don't have to keep apologizing," she replied lightly. "Let's just have dinner and talk and see where that takes us." Maybe the night would lead to some fun extracurricular activities, maybe not, but at least she'd be able to case his place. Based on what she knew so far, the guy definitely came from old money. "Just keep reminding yourself that he's potentially a mark, not a boyfriend, Rey."

"Sure," he smiled, looking relieved. "Hey, Poe?" he said to the driver. "Can you pick up some food after dropping us at the hotel? We're starving."

——————

Ben fumbled a little opening the door, but quickly recovered and ushered Rey inside with a gallant sweep of his arm. The hotel was nice, but not extravagant, something she found odd for the son of a U.S. Senator. Then again, he had apparently been helping out at a shelter all day, so maybe he really was as down to earth as he seemed.

"The bathroom is through there if you need it," he pointed toward the bedroom.

"I'm fine, thanks."

"Okay, I'm just going to grab a quick shower. Poe should be back within the hour, so make yourself at home."

"Can I join you?" she was tempted to say. "Sure, I'll just watch the telly."

Ben nodded and left the room. A few seconds later, Rey heard the water start. Flipping on the TV, she left it on the cartoon channel before having a look around.

There weren't any expensive electronics or pieces of art in plain sight, so Rey could only assume that anything valuable would be in his room. "Oh, well, nothing gained, nothing lost. Better update Finn, though."

Yanking her cell out, Rey sent a quick text to her brother with Ben's name, the hotel's address, and a couple sentences about the modest state of his living room. He answered her almost immediately, sounding concerned.

Finn: Are you sure about this bloke? If you're not there to rob him, I assume that means you're interested in something else?

Rey: Yes? Maybe? I don't know. We just met, but…

Finn: At least text me later, okay? So I don't have to worry

Rey: I will. Love you 3

Finn: Love you too, peanut

Finn: ...check the room safe if you get a chance. Those types of hotels always have them and you never know what might be inside ;)

Rolling her eyes, but knowing he was right, Rey listened for a moment. It sounded like Ben was still in the shower, so she took the opportunity to pop into the bedroom and search his closet. A standard issue hotel safe was at the back, surrounded by some very nice black suits.

It wouldn't have been hard to crack the safe if she had her gear, but her heart wouldn't have been in it even if she did. She didn't want to rob Ben Solo, which was a first. Still, she did appreciate a challenge...

"Did you need something?"

Rey whipped around to see her host in nothing but a low slung white towel. "No, I—uh…"

"Would you like something to change into?" he inquired kindly.

Unable to respond with his magnificent chest and long thighs on display, Rey just shook her head in the negative. His brow creased and she felt like a kid who had been caught snooping for Christmas presents. "Shit, shit, shit, I've totally blown it!" Backtracking to the living room, she wasn't surprised when he followed. "What should I do? Oh, god, I don't want him to think…"

"Rey, what you said earlier… about being a… what did you call it? A grifter? Are you—mmph!" he started, unable to complete his thought as Rey impulsively reached up to kiss him.

But instead of pushing her away and demanding an answer, Ben threaded his fingers through her hair and dragged her closer. Taking his response as permission, Rey wrapped her arms around his waist, gripping his bare back as the kiss went on and on.

Somehow, they ended up next to the couch. Rey pushed Ben into a sitting position and climbed onto his lap, rubbing her clothed core against the tent in his towel. "Rey," he whispered, lips trailing down to her neck, "Rey, I want you."

"Yes," she responded as he reached for her waistband. Coming up on her knees, she growled when he yanked her leggings and underwear down her hips with one forceful tug. Things were getting out of control, going too far too fast, but she didn't care; she wanted him too. "Help me," she demanded, legs trapped by the constricting garments.

"I've got you," he huffed, reaching behind her to unzip her black combat boots and pull her pants the rest of the way off.

Meanwhile, Rey tore her top and bralette over her head before going to work on the towel barely covering his lap. "Wow!" she blew out a breath, zeroing in on his ardent erection when it was uncovered. He was big, maybe bigger than anyone she'd ever been with. Would he fit?

"Fuck," Ben sighed, sitting back to stare at her body, "you're beautiful, Rey."

Feeling weirdly shy about the sincerity in his sinful voice, Rey kissed him again in lieu of a response, reaching between them to spread herself for entry.

"Wait," he said, gasping for air, "what about protection?"

"Implant," she mumbled, rubbing her slit against the tip of his penis. "I'm clean, are you?"

"Yeah, I haven't—oh, god—uh, done it in a while."

"Good." She felt strangely possessive of him, this man she had just met. It pleased her that he didn't sleep around. "Fuck me, then. Raw."

Ben slammed his mouth down on hers again, positioning his dick with one hand and gripping her left buttock with the other. But he didn't ram himself home, instead he teased her hole, sliding only a fraction of the way in before retreating. He did it over and over, mimicking the action with his tongue until she was incoherent with desire, squirming, imploring him to fill her…

And then he was, and she found that he fit very well inside her indeed. His thick cock seemed to be made for her, hitting all the right spots and ones she hadn't even known existed until now. "Ben!" she cried, furiously pumping her hips in time with his thrusts. "This is—you're—"

"I feel it too!" he returned, palming her breast and teasing her erect nipple. "From the first moment I saw you, I—"

She licked his mouth, begging for entrance, not wanting to hear his sweet words even as they made her heart soar. He opened for her, but was obviously frustrated that she had cut off his declaration. Before she knew it, the hand squeezing her ass drew back and lightly smacked against her butt-cheek.

"Oh!" Rey jolted at the slight sting, but it wasn't in pain. On the contrary, she requested, "Again! Ben, do that again, please! I'm—"

Knock, knock.

"Oh, shit, Poe's at the—"

"Don't you fucking dare, Ben Solo," she growled, bouncing up and down on him with renewed vigor. But the driver started knocking harder, likely because of the guttural sounds erupting from Ben's throat. "Come on, man, can't you tell we're busy?!"

"But—shit!" Ben hauled her against him, no longer playing, just looking for relief before his friend broke the door down.

Rey found his soft grunts and swears endearing, so she took pity on him and increased her pace even further. "Come for me, Ben," she instructed, grinding down on him with all her might. "Come now and then we can eat. Or you can eat me, whichever you prefer."

The dirty talk seemed to work, because in the next minute, Ben was biting down on her shoulder, shaking with the force of his orgasm. Not far behind, Rey led his hand to her swollen nub, needing just a hair more stimulation to tip over the edge. Almost instantly, his trembling touch sent her into climax. Still vaguely aware of what's-his-name banging on the hotel room door, she pressed her mouth to Ben's pectoral to muffle her cries and came for what felt like ages…

"That—was—amazing," Ben panted, hugging her so tightly she thought she might pop. "The—best—I've—ever—had!"

"Me—too," she couldn't help but admit.

Loosening his hold, Ben cupped her cheeks and kissed her softly. "Thank you."

"Ah—you're welcome," she said, smiling like an idiot. Before she could lean in again, Poe resumed making his presence known.

"Ben? Are you okay? Answer me! Did that woman kill you? Your mother will be so pissed if you're dead." He hit the door again. "Either answer me in the next ten seconds or I'm going to get security!"

"I'm fine, great, alive, whatever!" Ben called back loudly. "And annoyed," he said to Rey. "Go into the bedroom for a minute while I get rid of him."

"Okay," she agreed, gingerly getting up. They both groaned when he slipped out of her, which Rey found gratifying. "Can I use the shower now?"

"Sure, there are towels under the sink. My sleep shirts are in the top drawer of the dresser," he offered.

"He wants me to spend the night?" she mused, feeling giddy and terrified all at once. "Alright," she said aloud, picking up her clothes and disappearing into the bedroom she'd been casing earlier, "call out if you need backup."

"Will do," he chuckled, "will do."

——————

Ten minutes later, Rey emerged from the bathroom feeling fresh and back in control. Picking a long sleeve shirt out of Ben's dresser at random, she pulled it over her naked body before toweling off her wet hair. The black cotton was as soft as it was big, but Rey didn't mind; it smelled like Ben.

Catching her reflection in the floor length mirror by the closet, she was amused to see that the garment fell to her knees like a sack, giving her already slender body exactly zero shape. "Oh, well, it's not like I plan on wearing it lon—"

A disturbance in the living room suddenly diverted her reverie. Sneaking to the door, she carefully cracked it and peaked out.

"You can't just keep her here!" Poe nearly shouted at Ben.

"Keep your fucking voice down," he snarled back. "You're not my boss or my mother and you can't tell me what to do. I'm a grown ass man!"

"Maybe so, but you're acting like a teenager! You can't just sleep with some chick you picked up off the side of the road when Leia is counting on you to—"

"I told you," Ben said through gritted teeth, "she saved my ass and I wanted to get to know her. I didn't hire her for the fucking night!"

"Could have fooled me," Poe scoffed. "For all you know, she could have been in on the attack and—"

"Get out!" Ben ordered, clearly at his wit's end. "I'll call you when you're needed again, if you are."

"Are you firing me?!"

"Not yet," Ben said grimly, marching to the door and flinging it open. "Just go before I forget that you're my best friend and say something I regret."

"Fine," Poe said, storming out of the apartment. "Let me know when you come to your senses!"

Ben slammed the door shut, then turned around and leaned on it. Scurrying back into the bathroom before he caught her eavesdropping, she started combing her hair, attempting to look natural in case he came in after her. When he didn't, she tried not to feel disappointed.

Leaving her damp hair hanging loose around her shoulders, Rey found him sitting at the dining table in his towel with several brown paper bags in front of him. He looked lost in thought and she hoped he hadn't taken Poe's opinion about her motives to heart. "Wotcher, Ben?" she asked hesitantly.

"Hmm?" he said, looking up at her. "Sorry, I was just...uh…" The arrested look on his face made her toes curl. "Wow, you look amazing."

"This old thing?" she joked, sidling up next to him. "I borrowed it from a mate."

"He has good taste," he said, opening his arms.

"I certainly think so," she said coyly, moving to sit sideways on his lap. Rey curled one arm around his neck and placed the other one on his chest. "Are you still hungry?"

"For food?" he choked, holding her so that she wouldn't slide off.

"Food," she nodded, leaning her forehead against his, "and other things."

One of Ben's large hands inserted itself between her thighs. "These kinds of things?" he murmured. "I think we can—fuck!" he bit his lip as he discovered that she wasn't wearing anything underneath his shirt.

"We can certainly fuck," she teased, "but—oh!" Rey gasped as he stood with her in his strong arms. "Ben? What are you…?"

Before she could get the words out, he'd pushed their dinner out of the way and laid her down on the table. Placing the backs of her knees in the crook of each arm, Ben pulled her forward until her butt was on the edge of the table and her pussy was level with his mouth.

"Having dinner," he said in the most ridiculously sexy tone of voice she'd ever heard, flipping his nightshirt up so that she was bare from the waist down.

"Oh, god!" she whimpered as he lowered his head. "Ben, you don't really have to—ah!" Gripping the back of his head as he started to lick her folds, Rey shuddered every time his long nose bumped against her clit.

"Enjoying yourself?" he said a little arrogantly. "Is this why you came home with me? Cause you wanted me to make you feel good?"

Considering how very well he was treating her, and the uncertainty on his face, she decided to play along. "Yes, Ben, I wanted you the second I saw you!"

He smiled slightly, then resumed tasting her. "So, does that mean you want to come?"

"That would be lovely," she sighed, enjoying the pressure of his wide mouth.

His mouth quirked at that. "Never heard sex described that way before."

"Then you're doing it with the wrong people."

"Oh?" his gaze turned hot. "And how many people have you been doing it with?"

"Not many," she said hurriedly, "and not in a long time."

"Good girl," he said silkily. "So, if I were to put my fingers inside you, would your cunt feel… full?"

"Yes!" she panted, so wet she was dripping onto the table now.

"Let's see then."

Arching her back as he slid two fingers inside her body, Rey realized that she had never really known sexual satisfaction until tonight. She was twenty-five and still basically knew nothing about sex and relationships. "Huh."

Ben stopped moving, lifting his dark head to look at her. "Rey? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," she said dreamily. "I guess I've just never felt this way before."

He held her eyes for an extended moment, amber striking against hazel. "Yeah, me too." And then he was fingering her again, sucking and teasing her slick opening until she was crying out his name in ecstasy.

Afterward, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them. Needless to say, they skipped dinner that night.

——————

Rey grunted as she felt Ben leave the bed the next morning. He had been her heater since the sheets and pillows were strewn about the room. "Come back," she said hoarsely, throat worn from use. "I'm cold."

"Just a moment," he laughed, opening the bedroom door to fetch something from the living room. "Your cell has been going off for an hour straight."

"My cell?" she yawned. Then, "Oh, no." She sat bolt upright. "Wait! Don't—"

"Rey?" Ben called in disbelief. "Who the fuck is Finn?"

——————

A/N: I love Kingsman and always think about Rey being a punk with a heart of gold like Eggsy. I didn't include the spy angle, but I was able to visit The Black Prince, where scenes were filled for the movie, a couple years ago and have fond memories. Anyway, reviews are appreciated! <3 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #302

“heaven ain’t close in a place like this”

What color are your eyes? Grayish blue. What's your favorite type of milk? If we're talking the basics, ig 1% is fine. What would you change about your appearance if you could? Oh, hunny, you got time for an essay? What would you change about your bedroom if you could? I need to fucking finish decorating it... It's not finished by no fault but my own laziness. Are you rich or poor? We're definitely pretty poor. Are you double jointed? I don't think so. What's the most physically painful thing you've ever experienced? I once had a large infected cyst that had to be drained by applying pressure to it, and I swear to Christ I don't know how I didn't faint. They gave me morphine and multiple numbing shots, but none of that did SHIT. I'm not even embarrassed by the fact I was shrieking and sobbing and swearing because I'm pretty fucking sure any sane person would've cried out many times. I'm convinced they either didn't numb me enough for someone of my size back then, or I should've just gone under for it. I have no words for how painful it really was. Do you like shots? Uh, given that nobody LIKES getting a shot with a needle, I'm going to assume you mean like, taking shots of alcohol, in which case I've never tried, but I can almost absolutely guarantee you I'd hate them. I hate the taste of alcohol (hence why I only drink sweet and weak stuff), sooooo, I've got my doubts I'd enjoy something so potent. Are you afraid of spiders? Yes and no? Small ones don't tend to get to me, and I LOVE tarantulas. Big spiders are absolutely fascinating and I love *watching* them, but if I was surprised by a sudden spider, I'm going to probably cry out and jump/scramble away. But on a real note, respect your spiders, whether they scare you or not. They are so important to the ecosystem. See one in the house, take it outside if you can. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to something? To some earrings, yes. I have to wear ones that don't have silver in them. Do you like to read? Yeah, but not nearly as much as I did as a kid. I'm even slacking on WoF lately... Do you know what your purpose in life is? *SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* BITCH I WISH I KNEW What's something you would like to improve at? Not being a socially anxious catastrophe. Do you believe you have great potential? Everybody does. You just have to use it. What is the most beautiful scenery you have ever beheld? Probably the mountains when driving to Tennessee. Or New York? I really can't recall either so clearly as to have a favorite. Are you flexible? Noooot anymore. Back in my WiiFit days, I was a gotdamn snake. List a song lyric that you like. Oh Jesus, don't make me think. Uhhhhh there's so many. Flipping through artists in my head with lyrics I tend to love, there's Otep with: "hey, hey, NRA, how many kids did you kill today?". Simple, but spine-chilling to me. Huh, time to listen to it actually, lol. That song murders me with the goosebumps. Do you meditate? No; I can't. You can't tell me to "free my mind," man. It's way too hectic at all times up there. What's one place you've been to that you want to visit again? I'd love to go back to Chicago one night when I actually learn how to do nighttime urban photography. What's one place you want to go that you've never visited before? I always answer "South Africa" to questions like this, so for variety's sake, I'll say the Bahamas. But a conspiratory bitch is afraid of the Bermuda Triangle, so... lmao. What's your favorite type of tree? I like big, impressive weeping willows. How many times have you seriously injured yourself? Only two occasions I can think of immediately. Maybe there's more, but idk. Did you attend Sunday School as a child? Yeah, even though I hated it. What is the longest your hair has ever been? Maybe a little passed the small of my back? What about the shortest? (not including being a toddler or baby): How it is now and has been for a couple years: shaved short on the left side, and it transitions to a length near my chin as you go to the right. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Are/were you in the school band, and if so, what instrument did you play? I did, and I played the flute. I'd choose the saxophone if I could go back. Who does the grocery shopping in your household? Well, it's just Mom and me, so her. If you were to donate to charity today, what would you donate to? One that focuses on ovarian cancer for Mom. What is your favorite card game and when was the last time you played it? Even though I was never great at it or knew every single rule, "Magic: The Gathering" is honestly really fun, and I loved looking at the card art. I haven't played it since I was with Jason, so at least five-six years. Would you consider yourself to be good at spelling and grammar? Yeah, but I've somehow gotten worse with time???? I question the spelling and tenses of words I write a lot. What is your favourite seasonal candy? (only available at certain times): Probably like, chocolate rabbits. NOT hollow. Way to break my heart. Or gingerbread cookies. What was the last chocolate bar you ate? I think a Hershey's? It was a while ago. Who was the last person you talked to on Skype/video chat? I was in a Zoom session with multiple people for my partial hospitalization program. Have you ever dreamt about sleeping with someone other than your partner? If so, did that make you feel embarrassed? I've never had a dream like this while in a relationship. The last time you had butterflies in your stomach, what was the reason? I have no idea. Has anyone told you that they miss you recently? No. Has anyone ever asked you out or told you that they liked you, and you rejected them? Can you explain why you didn’t like, or didn’t feel attracted to that person? There was this one guy in the 4th grade who asked me if I would go out with him so much it almost became like a joke. I just... didn't like him like that. Then there's Juan; I'd just been warned that he had a bad rep by a very reliable adult, and the idea of dating him was kinda... intimidating anyway. Plus he was a smoker, which was and still is a no-no for me. What part in a movie would you love to play? The clinically insane villain or something because I feel with my history, I could channel that very well IF I actually wanted to act in the first place. What piece of furniture have you replaced the most? The couch. What’s the best part of your favorite movie? When Simba walks up Pride Rock in the rain and roars and all the lionesses join in. Chilling. What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? Candy corn is repulsive. What was the highlight of your day? My mom was raving to one of my therapists in the PHP about my art and how badly she wants me to just get everything out there. I was smiling really big but looking down with how shy but also flattered it made me. Do you know anyone who is anorexic? I don't think so. Who has hurt you the most this year? Ha, myself. What's the last insult someone said to you? Hm. How much did your car cost? N/A What is the last picture you received on your phone of? Uhhh Mom mighta sent me a meme or Sara showed me a drawing someone made of Suriza, I think. Have you ever let someone go because you thought they deserved better? No, though I've felt that way before. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now? I'm still not over the fact Dad was a druggie before me and my sisters, apparently. It's almost like... hurtful in some weird way? Idk exactly why, it's just something I know I feel. What do you hear right now? I have Motionless In White's cover of "Somebody Told Me" playing in another tab. Do you do anything to help the environment? I do what I can as someone who isn't financially independent and reliant on another person for transportation. I won't litter for anything (and this includes shit like letting balloons go in the air, fucking stop), I'm trying to use my metal straw always in place of plastic, and to use less plastic bags, I try to spread out the times I clean Roman's litterbox to a few days; not to the point it's disgusting or uncomfortable for him, of course, though. Three days without is pretty much max. When's the last time you did something you knew was wrong? Ha, a little while ago... I was trying to avoid eating the two last biscuits Mom made for dinner 'cuz I really gotta lay off the carbs, but Mom "joked" that "it's your birthday, you get to do whatever you want," so I kinda just said fuck it lmao. Do you think that you have a pretty smile? No, because my eyes squint badly, and I also hate my teeth. When's the last time you cried over a guy? A few days ago a little bit, actually. I was reminiscing too much and recalling some of the warmest memories. Are you scared to lose the person you fell the hardest for? I already did. Oh well. Is there someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now? Yep. Do you have any friends that actually model? No. Do you care about the last person you kissed? A fucking lot. Do they care about you? Yes. Is there someone you wish you were with right now? Yes, just because of past birthday memories. I keep hoping a "happy birthday Britt" pops up in my FB messenger, and I hate myself for it. Have you ever imagined how it would feel kissing a certain someone? I legitimately just huffed in humor, guess, lmao. What are the bad things you've heard people say about you? That I'm a martyr, going nowhere, lazy, not trying hard enough, y'know, all that good stuff. Do you flirt a lot? Definitely not. What phrase or saying do you use the most? Probably "oof" lol. What mood are you in right now? I'm doing pretty all right. Kinda dreading Miss Tobey coming over, mean as it is, but I just... don't wanna deal with her and her judgments on my birthday. But I'm looking forward to seeing my sisters, and therapy went very well. Have you ever kissed someone that was high? No. Do you have a good relationship with your mother? Yep. How many exes do you have? I only consider two exes "serious," as I've only been in two deep and long-term relationships, but if we're counting everyone who's had the label of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend," there's six. Do you want to be single or with someone? Ugh, I don't know. It's probably better I don't 'til I figure my shit out, but I really do miss the companionship a lot. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because I love her and I was leaving her at the airport. Does your mom think you’re a virgin? She doesn't know for the same reason I don't, really. I think she leans towards I am, but idk. Is there someone that wants you to give them a second chance? I don't know. What size bra do you wear? Uhhh I genuinely don't buy bras enough to know this exactly. C-something. Does the person you last kissed still like you? I don't know if she still like-likes me. Are your parents still together? Noooo. Was your first time good or bad? I dated an Italian, if u kno what I mean. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Which friend-turned-enemy do you miss the most? Colleen, sometimes. Have you ever used an epi pen, and it worked? I have not. What is on your top priority list for today? Make this fuckin' day for me. I'm trying to not let the depression sink in and make me feel worthless on today of all days. So I'm trying to stay in a positive headspace. Do you own any sand art in a jar? Omg, those are so cool! But no. Does the sun come in your window in the morning or at night? Not really; there's houses in the way. What was the last piece of art you created? A drawing of a meerkat with its mouth open angrily, done with colored pencils, against a black background. It's on my second dA. What time of day do you take medications? I have prescription meds for when I wake up and at bedtime. What's your newest hobby you've started? A new hobby? Huh... What are some things you wanted to do that your parents didn't let you do? They wouldn't let us stay home alone until a certain age, we had a timer on the TV at bedtime to shut off after a while, we weren't exposed to certain music or shows, no cursing... stuff like that. What YouTube channels do you recommend? This is a BAD question to ask me, 'cuz I could just about recommend channels for just about any niche. I watch soooooo many. What is your favorite day of the week? Tuesday, because it's reset day in WoW, haha. Meaning, I get to do my stupid mount farming raids again for the week. Blackhand, gimme your FUCKING clefthoof already. Ballet or cheerleading? Ballet is beautiful. What are your favorite sports to watch? Only dancing, really. Were you ever in the marching band? No. Which holiday has the best decorations, in your opinion? My contrasting aesthetics make this hard, haha. I love Christmas with all the beautiful light displays people can make, but let's not sleep on Halloween, y'all. I loooove Halloween decor, like c'mon, that's where I get shit for my room year-round, lmao. What do you want to be known for? It'd actually be kinda cool if I built up some sort of rep in the vulture culture community with my photography of roadkill. For how few shots I actually have on there and minimal interaction, my Instagram for it is doing quite well, if you consider those factors. They've gotten some pretty decent attention on dA, too. I would love for people to know why I do it though, of course: awareness and respect for the animal's life. How often do you wear make-up? Almost never nowadays. Think of the person you are jealous of...what are you jealous of them for? She's actually making a career out of her photography. Do you have art that you made in high school? Oh, plenty. Do you have trauma in your past? *clears throat* take a fuckin seat Favorite type of frosting? Chocolate. Have you ever tried cake decorating? No. One of my sisters is actually one, though! She's great at it. What clubs are you a part of? None. What was your favorite book that you had to read for school? The Outsiders. 6th grade, to be exact. Do you like to read classics, or do you usually read new arrivals? I don't prefer one over the other, honestly. Were you a big partier in college? No, I never partied. Is your college one you would recommend? My most recent one, fuck yes. They're amazing and care so deeply for their students. Would you go camping in the woods alone? Yikes, no. Would you name your kids after anyone? If I had a son and I had my way with the name, he would be named after the Most Selfless Man in the World, Damien from WKM. :'''''( Do you have any supernatural gifts? No. Are there any good churches in your town? You're asking someone who has a bad relationship with religion. Do you want an indoor or outdoor wedding? It really depends on the season and venue my spouse and I pick. Do you think you would be a good salesperson? HEEEEEEEEEEEELL NAW fam. I ain't pressuring people to buy shit.

[dreamgirl4certain]

The Elevator Bae

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE

Chapter SIX

Erik x Black OC (Phoenix)

A/N: This one is kinda long. I had a good, black time writing this chapter. Things are definitely picking up more with this one. :)

Camren stood in the center of everyone as they crowded around her singing Happy Birthday to her. She was all smiles with her Birthday Girl tiara on, holding up her glass of champagne. She swayed her hips back and forth until they finished.

“Thank you guys! This dinner was amazing. I love every single one of yall, but.. Ya’ girl is ready to turn up,” She points to Mica and Phoenix. “I know there’s more.”

“There’s always more.” Mica says.

Camren says good-bye to her family. Phoenix and Ava thanked everyone for coming out while Mica headed to the parking lot to get Ava’s truck.

Camren, Phoenix, Tiana and Ava piled themselves in Ava’s truck and Mica drove them to the club. As they approached the door, one of the security guards noticed Phoenix.

“Big Blue! What’s up lil mama?”

“Hey Jimmy.” she hugs him.

“They with you?” he motions to the women behind her.

“Of course. It’s Cam’s Bday.”

Jimmy nods his head in Camren’s direction, “Happy Birthday. Blue got you the best section in this bitch.”

Camren can’t control herself, bouncing on her feet. “She was always my favorite.”

All of the women look at Camren. “Anything for you, Cam.” Phoenix says, grabbing Camren’s hand is leading them inside. Mica was the last in the small line of women and Jimmy stopped her.

“What’s your name lil mama?”

Mica looked him up and down, checking out his tatted, chiseled arms. He stands 6’4 with the prettiest teeth she had seen on a man. “Mica.” she finally responded.

“Come see me before y’all leave, alright?”

“Yeah, I got you.”

He winks at her and she turns to continue into the club where she found her friends watching her from inside the door.

“I see you, Mica. He fine as hell.” Tiana says.

The ladies follow Phoenix as she leads them to through the club. They traveled across the dance floor, around a huge bar and up a flight of stairs and glowed as they stepped on each step. They continued walking until they reached a huge section, with four bottles of Hennessy already waiting on ice. Coby was already there with a few other friends. He greeted each woman with a hug until her got to Ava. He wrapped his arms around her, grabbing her ass and kissing her. Phoenix proceeded to line up shot glasses and fill them with Hennessy. Each of her friends grabbed their glass, raising it in the air.

“Happy Birthday Camren. We love your crazy ass to the moon and back.” Phoenix says.

Everyone shouts, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAM!”

Tossing their shot glasses back, the women have begun their turn up. A few more shots and they were all twerking on each other and talking their shit, rapping along to every song that came on.

“We need a group picture.” Camren yells into Mica’s ear. Mica passes the message on, gathering all the women up near the balcony. Coby patiently waiting, and laughing, as they tried to map out their drunk poses.

“Can y’all c’mon?”

“WE’RE READY!”

Coby takes their pictures, getting every angle just in case somebody doesn’t like their face in the last pic. Because someone WILL decide on one that they don’t like.

“Send those to me.” Each of them yelled at Coby.

They continued to drink and dance. Drinking always gave Phoenix a bit more courage (and weed calms her nerves enough for her to be bold). She was also an I love you drunk and the feeling were starting to come out. She sat on Ava’s lap, hugging her. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Philly.” Ava smiles.

Mica, Camren and Tiana stood in front of them, “You don’t love us?” Camren yelled.

“Of course I love you. I love all of you so much.”

“We love you too.”

Camren pulls all of them into a group hug. “Thank You for my birthday.”

--------

As the night progressed, Phoenix found herself just sitting on the couch, babysitting her fourth drink, watching everyone around her. Mica joins her on the couch.

“You good?” she asked.

“Yeah. I’m just chilling.”

“Did you text your man, yet?”

“My what!” Phoenix acts surprised.

“YOUR MAN!”

Phoenix playfully rolls her eyes, “No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t-- I don’t wanna be all clingy. He just gave me his number a couple hours ago.”

Camren squeezes herself between them. “What are yall over here talking about?”

Mica looks at Phoenix, expecting her to spill it. She looks away, avoiding eye contact.

“Ugh. I’m trying to tell her to text her man.” Mica finally speaks up.

Camren pinches Phoenix, making her look back to them. “You have a man? Philly! Is he cute?”

“He’s not my man.”

“You want him to be. I seen how y’all was looking at each other.” Mica intervenes.

“We’re building a friendship.” Phoenix says trying to convince herself more than her friends.

“Those are the best kinds. But IS HE CUTE?!”

“Yea--”

“The nigga is fine, Cam,” Mica interrupts, shaking her head. “He thick too. He just screams big dick energy.”

Camren looks impressed. “Girl, text him.”

Phoenix sighs, processing her friends words. The two of them leave her be on the couch once again. She downs the rest of her drink because fuck it. Erik is about to get this text. She picks up her phone from the table in front of her, typing her message.

Phoenix: Wassup Stevens. Guess who?

------------

Erik had just laid down in his bed. Tired was an understatement. He had worked out hard, earlier that day. After his exchange with Phoenix in the garage, he stopped by his friend, TJ’s place. Catching up and playing 2k. He had cancelled plans with TJ to go to the studio with Phoenix. After a few hours of that and eating a pound of wings, he was home, showered and ready to sleep. That is, until his phone vibrated on his nightstand. He reached for it not really expecting it to be anything. A random number texted him with the message, Wassup Stevens. Guess who?

He knew better. Of course it was Phoenix, but Erik being Erik, he had to have fun with this. His sleep could wait. His thumbs moved around the small keyboard, creating a response.

----------

Phoenix watched as the text bubbles popped up. She bit her lip to stop her smile from forming and waiting to see what he is going to say.

Erik😛: hmm, 🤔this Tiffany?

Phoenix: Boy, you got me fucked up.

Erik😛: lmao. Relax, Im just messing with you. I know this you baby girl.

Phoenix: You’re an asshole.🙄

Erik😛: You dont mind it though.

Phoenix: anyways. Wyd?

-------

Erik had completely sat up in his bed now. He wasted no time on saving her number as ‘Babygirl’.

Erik: Been laying here, waiting on you to hit me up. You still out?

Babygirl: Yeah and my bad.🙈 Didn't mean to keep you waiting.

Erik: I don't mind waiting on you.

Babygirl: Don’t make me blush Stevens.

Erik pictured just how she looks blushing and that made him blush. His cheeks were becoming sore from how big he was smiling. Little did he know, she was looking like a complete dork, smiling at her phone in the middle of the club as well.

———

Phoenix sat in the corner of the club couch texting Erik until her friends were ready to go. They had all decided they would stay at Coby’s house for the night. His place was their usual ‘after the club’ crashing spot. He had plenty of space for all of them. Tonight would be no different. The women piled into Ava’s Jeep. Camren laid out on the laps of those who sat in the back seat and Ava sat up front with her man. One of Coby’s friends took charge of his car and followed him home.

Phoenix couldn’t wait to make it to Coby’s house to continue texting Erik. She kept her phone in her clutch. She didn’t want to risk one of friends seeing her texting him and trying to be all up in her business even more than they already were.

“Let’s get some wings.” Camren shouted from the backseat.

“Where in the hell are we gonna get some wings from at 2:30 in the morning Cam?”

“I don’t know. I’m hungry.”

“I’m hungry too.” Mica and Tiana said at the same time.

“Let me guess. You hungry too, Philly?” Coby asked, looking at her through the rear view mirror.

“When am I not hungry?”

“Y’all gotta be shitting me,” Coby drags his hands over his face. He looks over to see Ava passed out against the window. “Listen. There’s nowhere that’s open right now that has wings. I can take y’all to McDonalds.”

“YES! I want some nuggets.” Camren sat up, almost hitting her head on the top of the truck.

“Anything else?” Coby asked.

The women started shouting out orders.

“Large fry.” “Nuggets!” “McChicken with cheese.” “Nuggets.”

Coby headed to McDonalds to get their food and take them to his house. He knew they would regret this decision in the morning but he’d rather that than to hear a bunch of drunk women cuss him out over some damn Nuggets if he told them No.

It took forever for McDonald’s to fill his large order. The women whined in protest to how long they were waiting. They finally got the food and dug in without a second thought.

“And y’all better not spill shit in her truck. I’m not trynna hear Ava’s mouth about nothing tomorrow.”

Coby got them in the house safely and full. Each woman crashed in different areas of the house. By the time they made it to their destination, Phoenix had forgotten about her text conversation with Erik and passed out in one of Coby’s guest rooms.

————-

Waking up was rough. Phoenix could feel her heart beating in her head. She rolled around the bed, feeling through the sheets for her phone. The sun was shining bright through the window, so her task was tough with her head buried under the covers. Not having any luck, she finally got up, still in her dress, to look for her clutch. Somehow, it made its way to the floor at the foot of the bed. She took out her phone to see that it's just past noon and she had two unread text from Erik. She grinned big, swiping her screen to open the messages. She scrolled a bit to read her last response to see what exactly he was responding to because in all honesty, she only remembered a few bits of last night after her third shot.

Phoenix: So are you gonna tell me your reasons for picking the tongue out emoji?

Erik😛: You’re not ready to find that out yet.

Erik😛: lol, you must be KO. Hope you had fun baby girl. Text me when you get up.

Phoenix couldn’t contain her excitement that they were actually texting each other now. No more waiting to just see him on the elevators. Her excitement took a turn when her head started spinning. She felt a knot in her throat. She tried to swallow it back down but there was no stopping it. She had to find a toilet, NOW! She ran into the guest bathroom, throwing up last nights drunk food. She leaned over the toilet, chastising herself. Finally sure that she got it all out, she got up to slowly walk her body out into the hallway. Since Coby’s house is their go to after the club, Coby started keeping a change of clothes for them. She made her way to the hall closet where he kept, t-shirts, leggings, etc along with towels. She picked out a fresh set of clothes and towels and went back into the guest bathroom and showered.

Phoenix got dressed and put her hair up into a top knot bun and went downstairs to find everyone else. She found Coby and Ava in the kitchen. Mica was still asleep in the living room, on the couch. The birthday girl and Tiana were somewhere, probably still asleep.

“Morning.” Coby said. His voice sounded like he was speaking in a megaphone.

“Morning.” she whined.

“C’mon over here,” He motioned to the car seat next to Ava, who was leaning over her arm. “I’ll make you some coffee too.”

Phoenix joined them, laying her head down over her hands. Coby started making her some coffee. He placed the creamer and sugar in front of her.

“My face hurt.” Ava finally spoke.

Coby slid a fresh cup of coffee to Phoenix. She added her creamer and more than enough sugar and sipped it slow.

“It’s almost one. I doubt we make it to brunch.” Phoenix says between sips.

They sat there in silence for awhile before they heard someone dragging their feet into the kitchen. “Morning.” They heard from a yawning voice. It was Camren.

“Morning, birthday girl.” Coby said.

“Stop yelling.” Camren said, leaning over the counter.

“I’m not yelling.”

“I want coffee.”

“Me too.” Mica says, joining them in the kitchen with Tiana right behind her. Coby went ahead and made all three of them some coffee. “Y’all need to eat.” He said filling their mugs.

“I want Roscoe’s.” Camren says.

“Tell me what y’all want and I’ll get it. I know yall asses aint trying to leave no time soon.”

Ava typed up their orders on her phone and sent it in a text to Coby. He left to get their food. While they waited, Camren, Mica and Tiana took showers. Ava and Phoenix waited for them to finish in the backyard, on the patio. They sat out there, both wearing a pair of Coby’s sunglasses in an attempt to block out the sun.

Phoenix remembered that she hadn’t yet texted Erik back. Her thumbs hovered over the phone until she could figure out what to say.

Phoenix: Hey, sorry. I was slumped last night. Good afternoon though.

The text bubbles popped up immediately.

Erik😛: It’s all good baby girl. You have fun?

Phoenix: Yeah. Feels like Im dying now though.

Erik😛: You eat something yet?

Phoenix: Coby’s getting us food. He should be here soon. Wyd?

Erik😛: Tell that nigga hurry up and feed my girl.

Erik😛: Im running some errands.

His girl? Phoenix didn’t mind being called his girl.

Phoenix: Im ya’ girl now?

Before Erik could text back, the rest of her friends joined her and Ava outside and they all started talking about the night before. Reminiscing on the fun times they had. Camren thanked them again for making sure her birthday was special.

“We have one more gift for you, Cam Bam.” Mica says.

“Yall have done enough. Stop it.”

“Girl bye. It’s your birthday.” Ava says walking back into the house.

“What y'all get me?” Camren looks at Phoenix and Mica. Neither of them respond. “Stop playing. What is it?”

Ava joins them again with an envelope in hand, giving it to Camren. “Open it.”

She opens it and pulls out a packet that pictures a villa and things to do on an island.

“What is this?” she yells out in excitement.

Tiana snatches the papers from her hands, “Girl, a vacation.”

“Are yall serious?”

“Mhmm,” Phoenix nods her head. “Five nights and six days in Turks and Caicos. Next month. All five of us.”

Camren started to cry. They hugged her and made fun of her for always crying. Coby comes back in with the food. He brings it outside to them.

“Damn, Cam. You always crying, bro.” he says, sitting the food on the table.

“Shut up. They got me a vacation.”

------------

Phoenix walks through her door, exhausted. She threw her body on her couch. What a day. Camren loved her birthday and her gift. Phoenix enjoyed her friends but let's be honest… people, including her friends, were tiring. Her social battery died hours ago. The relief to be home, alone in her own space. She laid there with her eyes closed, taking in the silence of her living room. Her phone goes off, taking Phoenix from her mind. She gets up to find it. She dropped all of her belongings on the floor when she came in and searched through her bag for it. Finally finding it, she has a text from Erik.

Erik😛: You made it in?

Suddenly, Phoenix had energy. She sat on the floor, bringing her knees to her chest. Smiling down at her phone, she responds.

Phoenix: yeah. Just got in.

Erik😛: wow, smh. Thanks for letting me know.

Phoenix: lol im sorry.

Biting her lip, she wants to do something. Her thumbs hover her keyboard. Erik hadn’t texted back yet so she still had time. Fuck it! What’s the worst that could happen?

Phoenix: Are you home?

The three minutes it took for him to respond felt like three years. Her palms were sweaty as she watched the bubbles pop up on the screen.

Erik😛: yeah. Whats up?

Phoenix: wanna come hang out with me?

Phoenix drops her phone on the floor. Her nerves taking over. “What the fuck am I doing? Am I doing this right now?” She asks herself. Her phone dings. She couldn’t open the message. What if he doesn’t want to? She picks up her phone, taking in a shaky breath as she swipes his message open.

Erik😛: 👀 yeah.

Erik😛: I got something for you too.

Phoenix: for me? What is it?

Erik😛: I’ll be down there in a minute. You’ll see.

Phoenix jumps up and picking up her bag and clothes from the night before, tossing them in her room and closing her bedroom door. She rushes back into the living room, turning on the tv. She checks her snack cabinet. She has plenty. “Okay...okay,” she says to herself. “We’re all good. This is gonna be cool. Just two friends--” her words are cut off by a knock at the door. She wipes her sweaty palms on her leggings and makes her way to the door. She opens the door and the site before her, snatched her breath. Erik stood there with his bare, muscled arms on full display as he sported a crisp, white fitted tank, paired with heather grey joggers that hung low. His dreads hung wildly over his face. She took in his seemingly flawless appearance piece by piece. Phoenix hadn’t realized that she was standing there, just staring at him until he waved his hand in her face, breaking her trance.

“Phoenix!” his voice boomed through her ears, flowing down into her chest. She squeezes eyes shut to regroup. She opens her eyes, pushing a small smile.

“Sorry.” she steps back to welcome him in.

He chuckles to himself. “You good, baby girl. You like what you see. I understand.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Stevens.”

He follows her to the couch. He digs into his pocket, pulling out a blunt. “This is for you.”

“Aw, thanks Stevens. We can smoke this right now, actually.”

He gives her a lighter and she lights the blunt taking a hit. Then another. She passes it to him. He takes a drag.

“So Stevens, I figured you could watch Steven Universe with me and eat Oreos.”

“Steven Universe? What the fuck is that?” he passes her the blunt.

“Only my favorite cartoon ever. It’s really good. You’re gonna like it.”

She gives him back the blunt and starts the show from episode one. She grabs a few snacks from the kitchen. “Look what I got.” She holds up two Martinelli Apple Juice. Erik holds his heart with a smile.

“You remembered.”

Erik had mentioned in the studio how much her loved Martinelli’s. She joins him again on the couch, sitting so close, their thighs were touching. As the first episode begins, Phoenix sings along with the theme song. Erik watches her with a smile. Erik reached down, grabbing her ankles and sliding her legs over his lap. She watched him, not taking her eyes from his hands as his fingertips trailed up her leg until he reached her thigh. He gripped her thigh and massaged it. The entire time his eyes never left the tv screen. Phoenix’s breath hitched as he continued rubbing the spot where his hand rested on her. She looked up at him. He was sitting there like he was just unaware of what he was doing. Something happened on the show that made him laugh and she watched as his body bounced with laughter. To distract herself, she stuffed an Oreo in her mouth and did her best to pay attention to the tv.

“Damn girl, you hogging the cookies.”

Phoenix had been cradling the pack of cookies, eating one right after the other. “Sorry. You want one?”

“Yeah. Feed me one.”

“Feed you one?”

“Yeah, c’mon girl.” He opened his mouth.

She slowly swallowed the remaining pieces she was holding in her mouth. She held the Oreo between her fingers, “You want me to break it for you?”

He cuts his eye at her. “Phoenix, I’m a grown ass man. Put the cookie in my mouth.”

She looked at him with a smirk. She would gladly put the cookie in his mouth. She giggled as she fed him the cookie. He caught on to why she was tickled and laughed himself. “You’re childish baby girl.”

“You said it.”

They continued watching the show and eventually ate the entire pack of Oreos. They were seven episodes deep when Phoenix found herself leaning on Erik’s shoulder. Her fingers were absentmindedly tracing his scars. When she noticed what she was doing, she looked at him, wondering if he knew what she was doing. Was he secretly enjoying it? He could feel her staring at the side of his face. He peeks over at her.

“What?” he asked.

She rubs her thumbs over her scars in thought. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

Looking at his arm, “What’s the meaning behind these?”

He watches as her thumbs move softly over his scars. He clenches his jaw and unclenches. Their eyes meet.

“Can I trust you?” he asked.

“I’m pretty sure if you couldn’t trust me, you wouldn’t be sitting here with me right now.”

“True. If I tell you, you have to promise me that you won’t look at me any differently.”

“I promise.”

He sits there for a moment, gathering the right words. Phoenix was patient with him. She knew there was a deeper story to him. She was willing to sit there as long as she needed for him to feel comfortable. She continued to rub her thumb over her scars in the hopes that it would settle his thoughts.

“Remember when I told you my parents died when I was young and I had to take care of myself?” he started. Phoenix nodded, remembering their conversation in the studio. “That shit changed me. It was nothing that I could do. I was ready to give it to any and everybody. But I was smart about it. I went to the Navy. I trained. I worked hard. I was the best nigga they had. When it was time to get my boots on the ground, I made sure I always hit my target and anything that tried to get in my way. Each kill became a mark.”

Phoenix’s eyes trailed down in arm. There were so many scars. That meant so many bodies.

“I was top ranked. I was given the name Killmonger because I had so many kills.” he continued. “The scars were my way of making sure everybody knew how powerful I was. I wasn’t somebody to be fucked with. I’m not that helpless little boy anymore.”

Phoenix’s thumb motions stopped but she still held his arm in her hand. He looked over at her, searching her face for any sign of disgust or hate. Her eyes met his.

“So you still do those missions?” she asked.

“Yeah. They’re a little different now.”

Phoenix seemed interested in what he meant. So he continued telling her how he is chosen for the top missions because of his skill. She asked about his parents and for the first time ever, Erik explained the truth about them. His mother dying in prison. His father being a prince of Wakanda and being killed by his own brother. The more he talked about Wakanda, Phoenix became confused.

“Wait… I thought Wakanada was like a third world country.” she said.

“That’s what they tell the world, but it’s far from a third world country.”

Phoenix sat there quietly, looking off at nothing. She pulled herself away from him in thought. He took that as her hating him.

“I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you Phoenix.”

Her head snapped toward him. “It never crossed my mind that you would. I don’t think you’re a big, bad, scary person, E. Like you said, you did what you had to do.”

“Then why did you move over there?”

“Just thinking. I couldn’t imagine having to go through any of that. Here I am thinking my life was so shitty back in Detroit. Sure, it was bad but things could’ve been worse. You’re strong as fuck and honestly, I wish I had balls like you.”

A cheesy smile crept up on Erik’s face. “Nobody got balls like me.”

Phoenix looks at him with a straight face. “Wow. Here I am thinking we’re having a moment and you wanna talk about your balls.”

“You brought up my balls baby girl. I’ll gladly share them with you.”

“You know what I meant.” She said, hitting him in the chest.

“C’mere you little angry bird.” Erik pulls Phoenix back over to him. This time, he pulled her onto his lap. While sitting on him, she could feel his dick through his sweatpants. Was he free balling? It felt like all he was sporting were the shorts. This man was blessed. He moved his body up, adjusting himself. He had to know exactly what he was doing. Staying up there would be dangerous. She needed to move herself. So she slid her body down to where she is now pinned between him and the arm of the couch. Her legs are sitting on top of his. He gripped her thighs again. “You made me miss what happened so we have to start this episode over.” He picked up the remote, restarting the episode. Phoenix didn’t say anything. She couldn’t. The two of them continue watching Steven Universe like nothing ever happened. He wrapped his hand around her and she rested her head on his shoulder.

Phoenix had drifted off to sleep. Erik softly shook her awake.

“Philly. Wake up baby girl.”

Phoenix slowly wakes up, stretching. “How long was I sleep?”

“Not long. But it’s getting late. I’m gonna get out of here and let you rest.”

Phoenix lays back on his shoulder. “You’re really comfortable.”

Erik scoops Phoenix up in his arms. He picks her up as he stands and setting her down carefully on her feet. They share a smile. She follows him to the door to let him out. When they approach the door, Erik turns around and snakes his hand around Phoenix’s waist, pulling her into a hug. She automatically wrapped both of her arms around his neck. She took in his presence one last time. He pulled back and grabbed her chin. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on her cheek. Her body melted into his as she laid her head against his chest. “Don’t forget to text me about your show tomorrow.” he spoke lowly in her ear. All Phoenix would do was nod her head. He opened the door, stepping out.

“Goodnight baby girl.”

“Night, E.”

Closing the door and locking it. Phoenix leaned back on the door. She wanted so bad to turn her head and catch his lips with hers. Her brain now ringing with the ‘what if’s’ if she did. She couldn’t do this to herself. She was going to bed.

Tags: @lushloaded @abeautifulmindexposed @purple-apricots @missshae @lostennyc @tip222u @janelledarling @chaneajoyyy @thadelightfulone **If anyone would like to be tagged, please let me know :)

[jason-todd-deserved-better]

Vampire AU - Tim Drake x Reader Headcanon

A/N: And I’m back, in under a month and with a Tim Drake story! So hell must be freezing over, but this story was inspired by @write-it-motherfuckers with this prompt.  (If you guys haven't checked them out, then I suggest that you do because they are amazing and if you're in a rut then reading their prompts will definitely help!) Either way, I hope you guys like it and let me know what you guys think! Love y’all!

Warning: There is a good amount of violence and death, plus graphic depictions of messed up stuff (a whole lot of gore). So if you don’t like that stuff, then please do not read. Please stay safe.

Summary: You bring home an injured bat, but all isn’t as it seems and you may have an issue on your hands when you accidentally bleed on the little guy.

Animals have always been deeply ingrained in your heart of hearts.

You were raised in a household that respected any and all animals, with your parents being park rangers, this was a given.

Also, the fact that you and the rest of the family had a bit of wolf blood in there mixed up as well.

Though only a couple of people in your family could even change, your father included.

You and your siblings, on the other hand, didn’t have that ability.

It wasn’t really an issue though, your parents loved you all the same, and your dad had no problem with that at all.

Plus you got to ride on his back in wolf form when you were little, and that was a lot of fun from what you could remember.

You had a relatively normal childhood though, and it was as peaceful as it could get.

Everyone has to grow up though, and for college, you decided to go to Gotham University, much to your parent’s displeasure.

But your mind was set, and that’s where you went.

At first, it was a hard transition, to be surrounded by forests, then to steel buildings that were higher than any tree could ever get.

Plus they weren’t lying when they said Gotham was a crime-ridden city.

You usually didn’t have to worry about the supernatural creatures around you, as your scent was one of a Were’s, and no one wants to mess with a Were.

As long as no one knew that you couldn’t turn into a wolf than you would be fine.

It was the normal humans that you had to worry about though.

Which means the odds of getting mugged were still very high.

Your parents knew this, so they gave you a small can of pepper spray

And even if you had to use the pepper spray, it would suck for both you and your assailant as your sense of smell was also enhanced because of your wolf genes.

But if you needed it, then you’d use it.

Time passes though, and the next thing you knew is that you were graduating relatively soon and you had a lovely internship at a recovery center/veterinary hospital on the edge of Gotham.

You absolutely loved the place, it was almost your home away from home as it was tucked into a wooded area that could still be considered Gotham, but was far enough for the trees not to be surrounded by concrete.

But because it was kinda in the woods and also a makeshift recovery center (Gotham really sucks in nature preservation, in literally all aspects.), you’d get all different kinds of animals like owls, deer, bats, and even wolves funnily enough.

Tonight was a rough night though, as people were running in to get help for their animals as some villain was going around and destroying everything in its path.

Basically, you guys were packed with injured dogs and cats, while also housing the already sick animals.

But your day wasn’t over as your boss, Jules, runs in with a small bat bleeding in her hands.

The older women put the bat on the table, and you were quick to help her patch them up.

“Found the poor thing outside by my car,” Jules says, disinfecting the various cuts on its body. “He was probably hit by shrapnel from the attack, funny how he made it here though,”

“Well at least you saw him before we closed for the night,” You say, pulling out the gauze and bandages.

Jules nodded her head in agreement, “You have no idea, Sweet Pea.”

She was very much the old grandmother type, and she had taken great care in making sure that you and the rest of the staff were well taken care of.

Plus no one would want to get on her bad side as there would be a couple of hexes coming their way as she was one of the elder witches of Gotham.

Yeah, no one messes with Jules.

Once you guys finished working on the injured bat, you guys went to put it in with the rest of the animals, but there was an obvious problem.

The whole building was loaded with animals, wild and domestic.

You hear Jules tired curse next to you. “Well looks like I’ve got to take this little guy home,”

Immediately you didn’t like that, she had been working all day and all you could tell that the past day's events were wearing her down.

“Hey don’t worry about it Jules, I’ll take care of him,” At first she was about to say no, but by the look you gave her, she knew that you wouldn’t take no as an answer.

“You sure you can handle it Sweet Pea?” She asked. “I know you’re just as tired as me,”

“Of course, we used to take care of these guys all the time back at home,” You say with a smile. “Plus Jules, we wouldn’t want you to get another familiar,”

With a slight laugh, she hands over the bat and pinches your side jokingly. “Oh you kids are gonna be the death of me, either that or a house is gonna fall on my head,”

“Hey, you said it, not me,” You laugh at her joke, being careful with the bat in your hands.

And with that, you guys closed the shelter and were on your separate ways home.

While driving to your apartment though (You made sure that your building was nowhere near the destruction before you left.), you kept smelling something odd in your car.

It wasn’t a bad smell, but it was one that you’ve never been in contact with.

Only did you realize it was the bat as it traveled with both of you to the hallway of your apartment.

“Okay my dude, you kinda smell,” You mutter, unlocking your apartment door. “Well can’t really worry about that now, can we?” You say placing him in a shoebox that you had lying around after you laid a hand towel over the bottom.

The funny thing is, was that he didn’t really fuss, not when Jules had him, not in the car ride home and not now as he gazed at you.

You found it weird, but you chalked it up to the stress the little guy had already gone through.

You didn’t see the expression on its face when you said it stunk, like who are you to talk? Your smell wasn’t human either!

After putting him in the box, you went to the kitchen taking the tiny bat with you, and placing him on the counter.

Pulling fruits out of the fridge, your main goal was to see if you could get him to eat anything, which would be an excellent sign for the little guy.

Pulling out a knife, you started going to work on half of a banana, when your hand slips and you nicked the side of your finger, blood beginning to trickle out of the wound.

Cursing, you pick up the box and head to the bathroom, trying not to get blood on the little guy as you jogged to your bathroom where you kept your first aid kit.

You placed the box on the bathroom counter, a couple drops of blood falling on the face of the bat.

All of a sudden there was a heavy weight on your chest, and your vision was filled with black and red.

Yelping, you immediately fell back, expecting to hit the back of your head with the end of your shower when at the last minute you were stopped by hand cupping the back of your neck, saving you from the fall.

Feeling his strong body press up against yours, you see a torn up mask revealing a blackened eye, with the remnants of a shredded mask.

“Thank you, I really needed that.” He says, an embarrassed smile on his face.

He lifts you up and pulls away, you noticing the insignia on his chest as one of the ones you’d see all the time on the news.

But that doesn’t stop you from yelling out, because blacked out eyes mean one thing.

You had a goddamn vampire in with you in your bathroom.

Which causes you to lash out, throwing a shampoo bottle at his head.

“AH HEY!” He yelps out, more out of shock than real pain but you were completely freaking out, “I’m not going to hurt you!”

“Holyshitholyshitholy-” You were trying to find other things to throw but were stopped when your arms were pushed to our sides and held there.

“Please stop, I promise I’m not going to hurt you,” He says slowly, you notice his eyes turning more human, revealing that his irises were an icy blue.

Even the wounds that he had were starting to close, most likely due to the blood that was smeared across his lips.

“Shit” You shakily say, finishing the thought you had, now too scared to move.

Slowly, he lets go of your arms, making sure that you weren’t going to start throwing things at him again.

“Yeah, you’re right about that,” He says starting to back up, only to collapse when he puts weight on his right leg.

On instinct, you go to catch him because well you’re a decent person who acts before they actually think.

There was an alarm going through your head, but you ignored it as you pulled him out of the bathroom and towards the couch in the living room.

Plus Red Robin was one of the good guys right? You thought.

With a grunt from the both of you, you dropped him on your couch.

He was heavier than he looked, and you weren’t strong like your dad or any other wolf you knew.

Tim wasn’t focused on that but your heart rate was going crazy, he picked up on that.

“Um your hand is still bleeding,” He motions with his head, regretting that as he felt the world tilt in that second.

You glance down at your hand, seeing a small stream of blood dripping all over the place.

Cursing you go back to the bathroom and quickly taking care of that, then coming back to the living room where Red Robin was looking a little better but still was looking a little sick.

“Are you okay?” You ask him.

“Yeah, just need a little while for the world to stop spinning,” He says, eyes closed.

“I-Is that normal for a vampire?” You ask, your nerves getting to you.

Plus you only knew the bare minimum on vampires.

“Meh, I got hit pretty hard so it’ll hurt for a while, it’ll go slower because it was only a couple drops of blood I got.” You stiffen at that. “Don’t worry though, I’m not going to take any more from you.”

You let out a soft sigh of relief.

He opens his eyes slowly, ”Thanks by the way.”

“Well, I’m not going to say no problem, but you’re welcome I guess,” You say, glancing at your cut hand.

“I’m surprised you didn’t change though, most other Weres would tear me apart the second I changed back.”

Okay time for damage control, no one needs to know that you can’t morph.

“I prefer not to turn any time I’m scared, then it’s harder to control myself.” You say, knowing that was the reason why your father never changed when scared.

“Mhm,” He mumbles. “Gotta love those animal instincts…”

“But turning into a bat can’t be that bad, no carnal rage, just to fruit.” You state.

“Yeah, and the occasional moth as well.” Okay now that sounded gross, plus poor moth.

“Oof,” You cringe. “That kinda sucks.”

He laughs at that, “You have no idea.”

Red Robin stayed in your apartment for a while, until his wounds were healed and he wouldn’t fall out of the sky because the world would continue to spin.

It wasn’t the last time that you saw him though.

Every once in a while, while sitting in your living room, either watching TV or working on homework, you would see a flash of red in the corner of your eye.

Sometimes you’d catch him and wave, causing him to shyly wave back then fly off into where ever else he needed to go.

It almost became a routine as you’d see him do this at least once a week.

Eventually, you were starting to get tired of this though, and he could tell so as he was about to leave, he was surprised to see you get up and open the window you saw him through.

“Okay, enough of the staring contests, do you want to come in?” You call out.

A boyish smile grows on his face as he turns, flying in through your window, settling on your couch before turning back.

But then his nerves hit him like a brick. “Hehehe… Hi.”

“Hey,” You say, rolling your eyes as you plop down next to him on the couch. “Now what would you rather watch, Brooklyn Nine-Nine or Jane the Virgin?”

And that is how your friendship with Red Robin started, with a couple episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

Either way, time flew by and graduation passed in the breeze but you stayed in Gotham, as Jules demanded offered to hire you full time (She was worried about the bat incident, but you reassured her that you were fine even if it turned out to be a vampire.)

So everything was going pretty well for you, and you couldn’t be happier.

But you were in for a rude awakening.

You had a day off, so you spent that time cleaning your apartment, as it was getting cluttered and you couldn’t keep living this way.

All was well until a large hole was blown into the wall of your apartment and you were thrown across the room from the impact.

You barely had time to moan your discomfort as you were brought up by the collar of your shirt, choking you as you were lifted up.

With blurry vision, you see the face of the Scarecrow, and the next thing you knew, there was a sharp green gas filling your vision.

Your heart was racing as you processed that it was his fear gas, a choked out yell escaping your lips as you heard his demonic laugh.

Then all of a sudden you weren’t in your apartment anymore, now you were in front of the animal hospital.

You saw the fire start at the far corner of the building, but it was gaining ground quickly, so you dashed inside.

Getting burned wasn’t on your mind, but the animals inside and when you ran in you could pick up the smell of burning flesh.

It made your stomach recoil, and you ran towards every cage, kennel, and room.

What you saw in every one of those rooms couldn’t ever be unseen.

The burnt remains of the dogs and cats you were taking care of, the smell burning your insides while the smoke burned your lungs and eyes.

You weren’t sure if you were bawling more from the smoke or the sick animals that were in your care.

You got your answer as you ran down the hallway.

The smell started to change, it was still a burn but it made your insides curdle, and you could feel bile coming up your throat.

In there you saw a large mass, curled up in the middle of one of the kennels.

Even though the body was grotesquely chard, you knew it was Jules.

You would know her everywhere.

A horrified sob leaves your burning throat, covering your mouth you turn away, not being able to process what you were seeing.

But in the kennel, you were now facing yanked out a horrified wail from you.

In there was your family, huddled together but were very dead, your father in wolf form trying to cover the rest of your family but failed as they all were burned.

All the strength in your body left, your knees collapsing under you, and you were ready to go with the rest of your family.

Curling into yourself, you sob feeling the flames lick at your skin, searing away your very being.

But it all went dark, and everything felt numb to you.

Lifting up your head slowly, your tear stained eyes look up, and all you see is darkness around you.

It might be dark, but you could feel him nearby.

“R-Red?” You choke out, your eyes looking all over for him.

“You could have saved them you know.” His voice was cold, colder than anything you’ve ever heard escape his lips.

Your eyes continue to water, “What-”

“If you had turned, you could have saved them all” You see his silhouette in the distance.

“Red, I-I can’t-” All of a sudden there was a hand at your throat choking you of air.

“You’re useless, you can’t do anything on your own,” His grip tightens. “The sad thing is, that's all you want to do, but poor and weak little (Y/N) can’t do anything.”

He lets go of your throat, dropping your body hard on the ground.

Coughing, you feel the tears continue to pour down your face, “Red, why-”

He grabs you by the throat again, “But you aren’t completely useless, oh no.” You can see the points of his teeth grow, his eyes turning black. “You’re blood is still pumping,”

And with that, he attacks your neck, biting down into the flesh and going straight through to the artery.

You felt his teeth stab into you, a red flash of pain going through your very being.

You felt yourself slipping away into nothing, the dark encompassing you until you finally slipped away.

That was the end of it all, you thought.

But your eyes fluttered open, now blinded by artificial and sterile light.

It took you a couple moments to take in the lights, they were still too bright, but you could now see the rest of the room.

From what you could tell it was a hospital, from the thin tubes connected to your arm to the inclined bed that you were on.

You didn’t notice the body next to you until you felt someone softly grab your hand.

If you could have jumped three feet in the air, then you would have, but you were clearly drugged up on pain meds.

You’ve never seen him without his costume, but you knew his smell anywhere.

And you instinctively put a hand on your neck to feel for a bite, remembering everything from your dream, but not finding anything.

Then you remembered what happened in your apartment.

Fear gas.

None of it was real.

Your family was okay, and you were alive.

Holy crap you actually survived that.

“Well, I’ll try not to take offense to that…” He says squeezing your other hand softly.

Letting out a little chuckle, you slowly put your hand down. “Well, I’m alive so deal with it,”

“I couldn’t let you die, (Y/N),” He says, glancing down in shame. “I would have done anything to prevent you from going through that.”

“I-I know, Red,” You say, gripping his hand a little tighter.

“It’s Tim,” He says, glancing up at you.

Oh wow.

He actually gave you his real name.

“Tim?”

“Yep, that's my name.”

“Wow, I thought I’d never see the day.” You laugh slightly.

“Well, you almost didn’t so it’s best to do it now before I don’t get another chance to.”

Squeezing his hand, you get the courage to give him the only secret you had.

“Since we’re clearing out the air, I got to tell you something too,” Courage don't fail me now you think, “I can’t turn.”

A momentary confusion falls across his face, then he made sense of your words.

“Well that makes sense now,” He smiles slightly, “I was surprised when you didn’t bite my head off that first night.”

Rolling your eyes you smile at him fondly, “There now we both know each other's darkest secret.”

“Meh,” He shrugs. “Some are darker than others.”

With a laugh, you lightly smack his side. “Whatever Tim.”

He chuckles, rubbing his side and lays his head on your wrist that he put on the bed, kissing the inside of your wrist.

With that display of affection, blood rushes to your face, causing him to let out a loose smile.

You guys grew closer after that, it only seemed natural that you guys would get together after this.

It took a little while, but in between moving you to another (much safer) apartment in the city, and keeping your family at bay. (Your dad was pissed, he was ready to tear off anyone’s and everyone’s head off because no one messes with his little girl. It was mostly the wolf talking though.)

So with many weeks of video calls and the “are you alright” texts, your life went back to normal.

Well with the addition of a certain vampire boyfriend of yours, that was new.

Heck, there was even a massive moment of deja vu when there was a bat you had to take in because it was overcrowded in the center.

You just finished getting the little thing to eat when your window was opened, and Tim climbed through, still in costume.

When he sees you, he has to stop and look at the scene beforehand, because what?

“She’s just a normal bat, Tim, Jules made sure,” You say, your focus on the bat.

He shoulders relax, and an embarrassed laugh escapes his lips, “Yeah I knew that,”

“Uh huh, sure you did,” You laugh, getting her comfortable in the towel covered shoebox before walking up to your boyfriend, amusement on your face. “Plus, she doesn’t stink like someone I know.”

“Oof low blow there babe.” He says, a fake pain in his voice, only to be followed with a chuckle when you pull his mask off.

“I’m sorry,” You apologize in a seductively sweet tone. “Let me make it better.”

“Oh please do,” And with that you kiss him, pouring your soul into it, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[anistarrose]

Fateful Detours - Ch. 2 (Gravity Falls x Infinity Train)

Summary: Stan and Ford have a rocky reunion, and Ford invokes the wrath of a scheming new enemy.

Warnings: description of a car accident (no injuries)

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20331070/chapters/48370201

(The Beginning) (The End)

Part two of three has arrived! And don’t get me wrong, I’m quite satisfied with the first chapter, but this one was much more exciting to write :)

***

(12 hours earlier, below a stormy afternoon sky in northwestern New Jersey…)

Stan anxiously drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, checking his mirrors for cops. No one appeared to be tailing him.

Maybe the angry mob had been so hellbent on getting revenge in person that they hadn’t bothered to call the police, or maybe the police hadn’t thought a petty con artist was worth their time, but one thing was for sure — this was the fourth town Stan had gotten run out of this month, which meant that one way or another, staying in New Jersey any longer would surely just get him into even more trouble.

There was only one issue: as much as Stan once liked to brag about how he was going to sail away from that godforsaken state one day, he missed New Jersey.

Or, more accurately, he missed the childhood he’d spent there. He missed Ford.

“You cut that out,” he told himself, shoving the train of thought to the back of his mind. “You think Stanford would care that I feel homesick? He doesn’t deserve to be missed.”

His train of thought refused to go quietly, instead jumping straight off its rails. But you do miss him. That’s why you’re taking the longest possible detour out of Jersey, instead of just heading straight to Pennsylvania.

“Shut UP, Stanley!” Stan shouted, smacking his forehead, and the moment his concentration on driving wavered, his car went careening off the highway. He slammed on the brakes, but there was no traction on the muddy downhill slope, and the Stanleymobile kept sliding until a mighty oak tree intercepted it with a sickening crunch.

For a solid minute, Stan just sat with his head buried in his hands, afraid to even look at the damage. It was the passenger door area that had collided with the tree, so Stan himself had escaped any serious injury, but he didn’t know if the Stanleymobile — his only friend in the world, it felt like — would still be drivable.

Finally, he stepped outside in the rain, trudging through the mud without a single spark of optimism as he made his way around the El Diablo. One look at the front left wheel, pointing an angle it definitely wasn’t supposed to, told him everything he needed to know about whether the car could be salvaged.

He felt like crying, and had he been left alone like that for just one moment longer — his one possession of value wrecked in front of him, his already ruined life reduced to even more pathetic shambles than before — he indeed might have broken down and sobbed. But he was interrupted by a flash of light from the woods, and then another, and then countless more, until the flashing stopped and a constant, brilliant green glow was beaming out from between the trees. Beckoning him.

“What the fuck?” he muttered, but his hands were already opening the backseat door and pulling out the duffel bag that contained all his belongings. His feet were already guiding him into the woods, towards the source of the light…

It was a train, come to a stop right there in the middle of nowhere, advertising its destination of Pennsylvania in bright green letters.

And Stan, under normal circumstances, was not an especially trusting person. But today, for some reason — maybe out of sheer bewildered curiosity, maybe because of some sinister spell the train had cast over him, or maybe just because he had nothing left to lose — he found himself throwing caution to the wind, and stepping aboard.

***

Needless to say, when Ford barged into the rock-climbing car and shouted “What are you doing here?!” all angry and accusatory, Stan told an abbreviated version of the earlier events.

“Got in a wreck, needed a new ride, jumped on the train. Didn’t expect it to kidnap me into a wasteland full of cockroaches that try to suck my soul out if I leave.” His words came out blunt and flat, devoid of a whole flood of conflicting emotions that he struggled to hold back.

“You got off the train?!” Ford didn’t look worried about the state of Stan’s soul. If anything, he seemed incredulous at the notion that Stan would want to leave.

“Of course! Do I look like I want to be trapped in some — some sick experiment, or whatever this thing is? I wouldn’t recommend getting off, though — I kinda almost died.”

Please, Stan thought, please say something that proves you’d care if I did die —

Instead, Ford just stared down at Stan’s crossed arms. “Do you have a number?” he asked, as if that was a perfectly reasonable response to one’s estranged twin talking about their near-death experiences.

“Oh, have you already cracked the code? Have you figured out what the numbers mean using your fancy college brain?” Stan’s attempt to stay detached was breaking down more and more with each retort. “Yeah, I’ve got one, it’s —”

He held out his hand, then blinked in confusion. So did Ford.

“Wait, 153?” Stan asked. “It was 147 just a couple minutes ago! It’s been 147 the whole time I was here!”

“It’s lower than mine?” Ford muttered, narrowing his eyes. “Well, that certainly calls for some adjustments to my hypothesis…”

“So you don’t know what it means?”

“I’ve only been on this train for a matter of hours!” Ford shot back defensively. “I simply don’t have enough data points to conclude anything with any sort of confidence!”

As he waved his hands in the air, Stan caught a glimpse of his number — 163. So Ford was ten points ahead of him… or could it be ten points behind?

“But I will solve this,” Ford continued as he headed for the door on the opposite side of the room. “I’m sure one of the next few cars will provide some clues about —”

“Yeah, good luck with that door,” Stan interrupted. “The only key’s up at the top of that cliff.”

Ford tried to turn the handle, without success, and turned around to squint towards the roof of the car. “Ah. So it is.” He eyed the pulley system. “You couldn’t get up there on your own?”

“Look, there’s not a lot of handholds, okay? I’d like to see you do better.”

“Sure.” Ford picked up a harness lying on the ground, and gestured towards the pulley system. “That’s a manual pulley, right? With two of us here, that’ll make the climb simple.”

“Yeah, but why I am I the one who has to pull you?”

“Because I’m lighter, and you have more upper-body strength?” Ford told him. “I thought that would be obvious.”

Truth be told, Stan didn’t exactly want to attempt the climb again… but as petty as it was, he didn’t want Ford to be the one who arrived and immediately saved the day. Ford was always the irreplaceable one, the star of the show, while it felt like Stan was just the opposite — the twin who failed at anything he attempted on his own, and only got anywhere by riding on someone else’s coattails.

He begrudgingly took ahold of the rope as Ford adjusted his climbing harness. “Okay, am I just holding on to make sure you don’t fall, or am I gonna have to lift you the whole way up?”

“I can support my own weight, for the most part,” Ford replied as he began to climb.

“You’re gonna want to move a few feet to the left,” Stan suggested. “You’re not going to get anywhere near the key if you climb straight up from there.”

“Really?” Ford craned his neck, trying to get a better view.

“Yes, really. Trust me, I can actually see the key without looking like an owl trying to turn its head around but failing because it had a broken neck.”

Ford reluctantly did as he was told, and the first three-fourths of the climb passed quickly and without much difficulty. But when he was just a few feet short of the key, Ford slowed to a halt, awkwardly glancing down at Stan.

“You… you were right, there’s not a whole lot of handholds or footholds up here.”

“Do you want me to pull you the rest of the way?”

“I don’t know… give me a second to try again here…”

“You better make up your mind soon, or my arms will get too tired to even get you down safely.”

“Alright, sure. Lift me the rest of the — woah!”

Stan pulled on the rope with all his strength, and Ford rapidly ascended past the rest of the climb. He pulled the key out of its slot at the top of the cliff, and let go of the rock wall altogether as Stan lowered him to the ground.

“That’s all?”

“Well, I only saw one keyhole in the door.”

There was an awkward silence, as Ford undid his harness and walked towards the exit with Stan trailing a bit behind him. As little as a few months ago, a moment like this would’ve surely been accompanied by a victory chant, or a high-six, or something, but now all they had was… a quiet tolerance of each other, and it felt unrealistic to hope for anything more.

We’re both heading in the same direction, Stan realized. What now?

Maybe this quiet tolerance wasn’t so bad, if it meant he wouldn’t be alone.

“Hey, Sixer?” Stan asked as Ford opened the door, and Ford whirled around to look at him — not quite angry, but certainly confused.

This was a bad idea. Why did I have to bring it up? I probably could’ve kept following him, and he wouldn’t have said anything.

“I was just, uh, wondering… I told you my story, but how did you get on the train?”

Ford’s brow furrowed, his look of owlish confusion morphing into a scowl. “I missed my bus.”

“Why?” Stan blurted out, and immediately regretted it when he saw Ford’s expression darken even more.

“I took an ill-advised detour,” Ford explained, speaking in that verbose, detached way that he only really did when he was upset, “that I didn’t have time for. I had a moment of… nostalgia, and wanted to check up on our old project before I left town…”

Staring off into space with a distant look in his eyes, Ford didn’t seem to notice it, but the number on his hand dropped from 163 to 159.

“The Stan O’ War?” Stan asked. “You’re still working on it?”

Ford snapped back to reality, his wistful expression immediately vanishing. “Of course not. I wish I’d never even checked up on it in the first place.”

“Right,” Stan muttered. “Why would I expect anything different from you.”

Ford hurled the key to the ground, near Stan’s feet. “Sailing around the world was never going to happen, and we both should’ve known it!” he shouted. “You know what? I wouldn’t even be stuck on this goddamn train, if only we’d never gotten that ridiculous idea in our heads! Or, if only you hadn’t sabotaged my chances at getting a scholarship to any school other than fucking Backupsmore!”

He whirled around, slamming the door in Stan’s face as he bolted for the next car. Stan tried to follow, but found that the door had locked again, and wasted a few moments fumbling around for the key on the floor. By the time he got to the next car, he could see Ford standing on a raised platform near the opposite door, having already navigated the maze beneath him.

He locked eyes with Stan, no doubt expecting a plea for help. Expecting Stan to beg not to be left behind. (Again.)

But Stan realized — he didn’t want to give Ford the satisfaction of being correct. (Again.)

I can solve puzzles on my own. I can scale cliffs on my own. I’ll get off this train on my own, and then we’ll see who the dumb twin really is.

“I said it before, and I’ll say it again,” he growled. “I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone.”

Even though the words came out of his own mouth, they still stung like a slap across the face.

For one single second, Ford looked caught off guard, but then he turned on his heel and left the room. Before the door even slammed shut, Stan’s hand began to flicker green as his number jumped up once again.

169

***

“I can’t believe I thought this place wasn’t half-bad,” Ford muttered to himself, cranking a lever that lowered a drawbridge into place and opened a path to the car’s exit. His hands were slightly greasy from slotting a dislodged gear back into place, and as he wiped them off, he noticed that his number was rising, passing 166 and going higher than he’d ever seen it.

He took note of the changes in a journal, and headed for the exit. In other circumstances, he might’ve wanted to stay a little longer and study the bridge mechanism, maybe even do a few sketches, but right now his heart wasn’t in it he just wanted to get off the damn train as soon as possible, which meant there was little to no time available for unrelated mysteries.

But as dejected eager to move on as he was, he couldn’t help but find himself captivated by the contents of the next car. Floor-to-ceiling shelves lined every wall, holding carefully organized books, strange knickknacks, and a surprising number of yarn balls…

“Ahem,” began a voice from the shadows, interrupting his train of thought, “but did you not even think to knock? Have you no manners?”

The car’s resident slunk out from behind a table — a graceful cream-colored cat, dressed in a sharp navy blue suit and golden silk ascot. “Passengers these days, I swear…”

Ford ignored her, eyes glued to table’s contents. One compact device lit up as he approached it, displaying a waveform that oscillated in time with his footsteps, and he picked it up, snapping his fingers experimentally. One again, the display responded.

“You put that down!” the cat hissed. “My collection is more valuable than you could possibly imagine —”

“Oh, I’m sure it is. I’m so sorry,” Ford hurriedly apologized, lowering the device back down to the tabletop but still holding it between two of his fingers. Recalling childhood adventures in petty crime, he sought to create a distraction with his free hand, reaching for an astrolabe that sat on a nearby shelf. “What’s this? Is it decorative, or —”

“Don’t touch that either!” the cat yowled, springing up on to the shelf to snatch the astrolabe away. As she moved, Ford palmed the smaller device and slipped it into the pocket of his pants, and couldn’t help but smirk as the cat failed to notice.

“Okay, okay, I get the message. Is there anything in this room I can touch?”

“I’m sure there will be plenty of things in the next train car!” the cat hissed. “So go on, make yourself scarce!”

“But your whole collection is so interesting…” Ford replied, looking over the room and assessing which other items he might be able to sneak into his pockets for further study. “Won’t you at least tell me where you found all this?”

The cat blinked twice, and then the corners of the her mouth curled into a smile. “Oh, I can do better than that. I think I know just the thing that will interest you, Mister… what was your name? I don’t think you ever introduced yourself.”

“I’m Ford Pines, pleased to meet you. I didn’t catch your name either…?”

“I’m the Cat,” the Cat told him as she bounded from shelf to shelf. As she rifled through a stack of objects resembling sleek black cassette tapes, she still looked up to glance at Ford every few seconds, as if she still didn’t trust him not to touch her possessions.

“Now let’s see… ah, this edition should suit our purposes well. Just take a seat by the television, and I’ll get this documentary started!”

“What’s it about?” Ford asked, settling into the chair. “Any specific artifact or device in particular, or just a general overview? Did you produce and narrate it yourself?”

“Oh, I don’t want to give away the surprise,” the Cat told him as she inserted the tape, “but I promise, once it gets started, you won’t be able to look away.”

She pressed the play button, and Ford’s mind was filled with static.

***

In any other scenario, the Cat would have at that point taken a few moments to simply stare approvingly at her completed trap, but not five seconds after the television had turned on, the door to her car swung open again.

It took Stan’s eyes another second or two to fully adjust to the dimmer lighting, but not nearly that long for him to realize something was very wrong.

“What the fuck?” He bolted past the startled Cat, shaking Ford’s limp body by the shoulders. Some instinct told him not to look at the TV, so he locked eyes with Ford instead — with Ford’s wide open, yet glazed-over eyes that didn’t show a single spark of awareness.

“Ford, can you here me?” No response.

“Ford, I know you’re mad, but this isn’t funny!” Complete silence, aside from static crackling in the background.

“What did you do to him?” Stan whirled towards the Cat, who grinned sheepishly while slowly backing away. “What did you do to my brother?!”

“Oh, I just… introduced him to a meditative exercise! He was very excited to try it, you see, and requested that I not let anyone interrupt him —”

“Bullshit,” Stan growled. “I know a scam artist when I see one! What did you really do to him?!”

“He messed with my things and refused to leave me in peace!” the Cat hissed. “He had it coming!”

“Messed with your things, huh?” In one fluid motion, Stan snatched a ball of yarn of a shelf with one hand and pulled out a pocket lighter with the other, flicking the wheel a few times before a bright blue flame spluttered to life. “Tell me how to get him back, or I light this baby up and toss it at a bookshelf.”

The Cat gasped when he pulled out the lighter, but then unsheathed her claws and sneered defiantly. “If you’re both on this train, but traveling separately… well, his number’s already sky-high and only getting higher. He doesn’t want anything to do with you ever again, does he?”

Stan flinched, and the Cat smiled. “I assumed as much. You poor thing — all you want is to ‘get your brother back,’ but it’s already doomed to be a hopeless endeavour.”

Stan glanced back at Ford, slumped over in the chair and looking about as alive as a corpse.

“Maybe it is hopeless,” he admitted. “Maybe he never will forgive me. But if I left him here like this, I’d… I’d never forgive myself. I could lie to myself about it for as long as I wanted, I could remind myself how he wouldn’t do the same for me, but — but that wouldn’t make me feel any less terrible. He’s my brother, and I’m going to save him, because… because that’s just who I am.”

He unwound a strand of yarn, and dangled it over the lighter flame. Blue sparks traveled up the off-white string like a fuse, racing to engulf the entire yarn ball.

“And I’m also a person who meant what I said about burning everything in here. So for the last time, I’m asking you: HOW DO I SAVE MY BROTHER?”

“Playing on that television is a record of everything that makes him him,” the Cat explained. “If you look at the screen, you’ll join him inside those memories, but I can’t promise he’ll want to come back out with you. In fact, I’d bet against it.”

“I don’t care what you’d bet on.” Stan blew out the flame, and hurled the extinguished yarn ball at the wall. The Cat narrowly dodged the rebound, hissing as she ducked out of the way.

“Don’t worry, Ford,” Stan whispered. “I’m coming.”

***

(End notes:

Being with yellow eyes and fancy outfit: *exists* Ford: well, they couldn’t possibly have any ulterior motives!

Anyways, thank you for reading and as always, feedback/reblogs are appreciated! The third and final chapter should go up in early September, if everything goes according to plan.)

[think-blot]

Desperation (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Summary: After everything that has happened to Spencer, something changed. It’s not anything bad but, still, you worry. How could you not? 

Word Count: 2021

A/N: Idk where this came from. I’m working on two other Spencer fics because I wanna put one out and then this throws itself into my head and I finish it in a couple hours. I don’t understand myself. Anyway, requests are open! Sorry for any mistake but we know by now that I suck when it comes to that. 

------

Spencer had changed after, well, everything. It was understandable; jail as an innocent man was nowhere near sunshine and rainbows and his mother wasn't getting any better. But despite the pain that came from those experiences, that continued to come, that wasn't the change you saw. Somehow, he managed to be more distant and closer than he had ever been, at the same time. At first, you didn't notice it; you were too worried about him in general to analyze every little thing he did. It wasn't until after a case, when everyone was tired and just wanted to erase the entire past week, that you did.

You had just gotten back to your desk, the others already in their cars leaving to their loved ones, when you turned to see Spencer waiting for you. You smiled, shouldering your bag, and walked over to him. "You didn't have to wait y'know."

He had smiled back, though it was no longer as bright as it once was. "I know."

He walked you to your car which wasn't new. He had always been that much of a gentleman and if the two of you were ever the last ones, he was happy to walk with you. It's one of the reasons you fallen for him. What was different was the hug. You had hugged Spencer before, the whole team had, he was comfortable enough with all of you to accept them. But that was just it, he accepted the hugs but he never doled them out. You had turned to thank him the way you always would and were engulfed in his long arms. You were surprised at first but you were never one to turn down a hug, especially not from him. There was a strange desperation to it and you weren't sure if it was coming from you or him. It was obvious that neither of you wanted it to end, for what reasons you weren't sure.  When you did separate there was something about his expression that you couldn't quite understand but just as quick as it came, it left and so did he. You had chalked it up to the case, it had taken a toll on everyone and he just wanted comfort. Looking back, you were just in denial.

-------

After that first time you started to realize it more and more. The constant attempts at affection that, for anyone else, wouldn’t have warranted questioning. No one bats an eye when there are side hugs and handshakes but it was different with Spencer. He had started to linger when he had to let go, his grip tight, and with no clue as to why in his eyes.  The others started to notice when he brought you coffee. Again, it wasn't anything new. He was the sweetest man you knew and when he had time in the morning he would bring you a cup. However, he would always place it on your desk with a soft smile and nod away your thanks. That morning, he had handed it to you, the same desperation you had felt in the hug clouding his eyes. You had grabbed for it without thinking, too focused on the case file in front of you, and your hands had overlapped. Spencer wasn't as bad as he once was when it came to people touching him, especially when it came to the team, but there were still moments where he would react. Usually when it was out of his control. You had quickly looked up when you felt more than just the warmth of the drink, ready to apologize, but the soft smile was still in place.

"Thanks Spence." You took the drink and he nodded your thanks away, like nothing had changed, and maybe to him it hadn't. But you weren't the only one to notice the exchange, JJ side eyeing you while attempting to hide her shock.

She had brought it up to you at lunch. "What happened earlier with the coffee?" In a world full of profilers, every little thing was important. It was sometimes too much.

"I don't really know. I wasn't thinking." Spencer walked into the kitchen before you two could continue the conversation, both of you smiling at him as he entered.

He returned the smile and your own dulled to match it. It hurt not to see it as bright as it could be, you hoped that one day you’d see it again. He went to the cabinet behind you, touching the small of your back to excuse you. Not much to the normal eye but for you and JJ it was another one of those moments. Spencer was the type to wait silently next to someone, maybe even have polite small talk, until the other person moved. When he left the kitchen, JJ turned to you in excitement. "Are you two together?"

You shook your head, "No, stuff like that has been happening a lot more recently."

"Maybe he finally realized his feelings for you and this is his way of showing you." She smirked, not thinking too much into it.

You scoffed, "Yeah right." Even if that was the case, which you doubted, there  was something else at play. You could feel it. Spencer was never one for casual touches, something had changed, and you wanted to make sure it came from a good place.

---------

Before you could ask him, the team was called on a case. It wasn't too bad, you had stopped the unsub before he could hurt anyone else and the team was all safe. Yet, the air still felt tense. You had opted out of drinks with the team, just wanting to stay at home and binge watch tv while eating take out. Spencer had stopped you before you could leave.

"Hey, you okay?" He was always the one to see right through you, even when you yourself didn't know how you felt. It was sometimes scary how well he knew you.

"Yea, I'm good, Spence." You didn't know why you felt the way you did. It was a good case, you should want to celebrate but there was a weight you couldn't shake off. Like everything from the past months decided to make itself known then.

He looked at you, searching your eyes, and, for a second, your bright eyes matched his dull ones. You had no right to feel the way you did, Spencer had been through hell and back. You should be trying to comfort him not the other way around. "I'm always here for you, Y/N."

Your laugh was wet, you couldn't look him in the eye anymore, afraid he would see something he shouldn't. You were probably already too late. You wiped at your eyes even though there was nothing there, a preemptive action. "I should be telling you that."

His laugh was short but genuine. He stroked the side of your cheek, "Yeah but I already know it." He leaned down and placed a kiss on your cheek. You were sure you had stopped breathing. "Good night Y/N." He whispered.

You watched him walk away, stopping yourself from touching your cheek. "Are you?" You said after him. He stopped, only turning his head to look back at you. You shrugged, "Okay?" The two of you stood there for a while, neither of you knowing quite what to say. So you gestured behind you towards the exit, "Wanna join me for some take out and tv?"

He had turned, his face warm, "I'd like that."

--------

It was half way into a season of Doctor Who when you got up the courage to ask him. The two of you sat on your couch, close but not touching, empty take out containers surrounding you. You had shuffled to look at him, your knee touching his leg. He paused the tv.

"Why have you been so touchy?" You didn't know how to say it but that definitely wasn't how you should've. You grimaced, "I don't mean like- I mean affectionate, I guess."

"So you noticed?" He was neutral, no hint at what was going on underneath. That was another problem with profilers, they know how to hide the emotions they want to.

"Kinda hard not to." You shrugged. "You don't have to tell me, I'm just worried."

His eyes shot to yours then, hurt drowning in them. You sucked in a breath, wanting to pull him into a hug immediately. "What does that say about me? That showing affection worries people."

"It's not like that Spence." You struggled to find the right thing to say again. "It's just that we know this isn't the usual for you."

"You mean it's not normal." He said under his breath.

"No." You said immediately. "That's far from what I mean."

He took a deep breath and nodded to himself, "I know it is." He turned to you again, "Things have just been different."

"Different how?" He hesitated, his body seizing up with the effort. "You can tell me anything, you know that Spence." You put your hand on his knee for comfort and when he put his own over yours, you hid your surprise perfectly.

He clutched onto your hand, "After everything, it seems so useless to keep everyone at a distance. To flinch at the idea of actually showing how much I care." He looked at your hands, a small smile on his face. "But at the same time, it's because of all of it that I want to keep all of you safe."

"Away from you doesn't mean safe, Spence." You said quietly. Your heart was beating a mile a minute, your focus torn between his words and the way his thumb stroked over your knuckles. It made sense, that after everything he'd want to show everyone how much he really cared. For him, putting aside his discomforts was the way to do that.

"I did some really bad things Y/N." The shame and guilt that coated his words stung. You moved closer, using your free hand to make him look at you.

"You did what you had to do to survive." You were the closest you had ever been to him, your noses only a couple inches apart.

"How can you believe that?" You were sure his eyes flickered to your lips but it could've just been your imagination.

"I have never believed in anything the way I believe in you." It came out too strong, you were supposed to say that you had never believed in anything more than that. The closeness and his eyes staring into your soul distracted you, possibly for the better.

His kissed you so softly that, at first, you didn't even think he had moved. It was a whisper before the promise. His hand faintly touched the side of your face, not directing just holding, and you felt like you were floating. The promise came when he pulled you closer, the desperation you had seen and felt so often, bleeding into you as his delicate kisses became almost rough. You let go of his hand to grasp onto his face with both of yours, one slipping into his hair just because you could. For so long you wondered if you would ever have this and now that it was here, you were sure you were dreaming. You were kneeling on your couch, pressing up against the genius of your dreams as he poured every emotion he had ever felt into your lips. There was no way it was a reality.

You pulled back, both of you out of breath but smiling in a way where neither of you would be stopping anytime soon. For a second, you saw a glimpse of his old smile, the light taking over his face. He put his forehead against yours and closed his eyes, simply being. "So is that why I've been getting the special treatment?"

He laughed and opened his eyes again to look at you, "You noticed that too?"

You rubbed your nose against his, "What can I say? I notice a lot around here."

[jupiterjunebug]

@actually-a-taco, here I am, eight THOUSAND (three days?) later, with a response. Which means I’m done with all the prompts I’ve got, so people should send me more.

It took Stern about forty-five minutes to realize he’d been dumped.

After that, it took Stern another forty-five minutes of staring at the no signal marker on his phone to realize that, seeing as his boyfriend had taken the car with him, he was stuck at the Kepler Pass Campground for the night.

Once those two realizations were out of the way, it was worryingly easy to decide the solution to those two problems was to finish off the drink he’d been nursing over during dinner and then open another one. And another one. And a few more after that.

Given that he had been just on the line of the ideal amount of tipsy before that, this left him slightly drunker than he’d intended to get. Actually, quite a bit drunker than he’d intended. Which was fine. It was fine, and he wouldn’t regret it while trying to check out tomorrow at all.

That was about the time he’d gone for a walk. Which was a bad idea, because it turned out he’d left behind his sense of direction somewhere between getting tipsy and getting drunk.

Stern held up the empty remains of his ill-advised drink, preparing to fling it at the wall of the anonymous tree he’d almost wandered into. Miraculously, his brain worked well enough to go if you do that you’ll feel bad about it the entire time you’re hungover tomorrow. So instead he set it down on a nearby picnic table, crumpled down to sit on top of it, and took a moment to feel sorry for himself.

“Hey, uh, you okay?”

Stern’s FBI combat responses kicked in, and he grabbed for the bottle. Unfortunately he was drunk, so he missed the bottle. Stern’s FBI combat responses didn’t kick in fast enough to stop him from wobbling to the side, overbalancing, and nearly breaking his nose as he crashed to the ground.

“Alright, that’s a no, then.”

“I’m fine,” Stern said, and ended up with a mouth full of pine needles for his troubles. He rolled onto his back and blinked up at the person he’d nearly physically assaulted.

He was glad he hadn’t, for a lot of reasons. Firstly, he was pretty sure he remembered a thing or two from FBI training about not throwing beer bottles at people. Second, the guy the voice belonged to was – if his estimation was accurate, which he wasn’t too sure about – at least half a foot taller than him and could probably break him in half.

The third reason was the completely involuntary, and very regrettable, fact that his first thought upon catching sight of the man’s face was he’s hot.

“You sure? It’s, uh. Ten. And you look like you’re at least midnight drunk.”

“I’m fine,” Stern repeated, spitting the pine needles out of his mouth. Yep. Done with camping. Well, at least it was dark. If he was lucky, this guy wouldn’t recognize him during the day. Which, given that he’d just been broken up with in the middle of nowhere with no car and no cell signal, was very unlikely.

“Do you need help?”

“I’m-“ Stern stopped, because if he said I’m fine again, that would pretty much destroy any chance of this guy believing he was fine. “No. I don’t. I’m just having a…” He stopped again, because he was nowhere near drunk enough to get actually sick, but definitely drunk enough for his insides to inform him he’d made a mistake.

“Bad night?”

“Mmm,” Stern groaned. Nice job, Stern. Making a great first impression, Stern. Really not letting this whole thing get to you, Stern.

“Wanna talk about it?”

Stern forced himself to sit up, which was a bad idea. Really, just about everything was a bad idea at this point. Now that he was vertical, he could get a better look at the hot stranger. Who was, in fact, still hot. And also just as tall as he’d estimated.

“I…no offense.” Stern knew he was speaking far too slowly to pass as properly sober, but it was speak too slowly or make no sense, and Stern hated it when people couldn’t understand him. “But I don’t really…do having emotional talks with strangers.”

“Well then,” hot stranger said, taking a step closer to Stern. “I’m Barclay.”

“What?”

“I’m introducing myself. You know, so that we’re not strangers?”

Stern blinked at him.

“I…people try and use that trick in real life? I thought that was…I thought that was a thing from TV.”

Barclay chuckled, running a hand through his hair. It was hard to tell in the dark, but Stern was pretty sure he had a crooked, slightly embarrassed smile on his face. Barclay shifted and, yes, there was the glint of teeth in the moonlight. Barclay had a nice smile, the stupid, drunk part of Stern’s brain decided. The not-drunk part of his brain informed him that he’d just been broken up with, and he should stop thinking about how handsome someone that was most definitely still a stranger looked.

“Maybe so, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”

Stern snorted. If he were sober, he’d come up with a witty response to that. Well, no, he probably wouldn’t. Stern was only good at being eloquent when he had a little time to practice, and being randomly accosted in the woods had caught him off guard.

“Well, then. I’m Stern,” he said, instead. That sounded decent. Barclay nodded slowly, and Stern suddenly wondered whether Barclay was a first or last name. It was rude to give someone your surname when they gave you their first name, right? He thought that might be rude. Which meant that Stern was usually rude, given that he could count on his hands the number of times he’d given out his first name in the past decade.

Sober Stern hadn’t considered that detail, which meant drunk Stern had to. Unfortunately, he was drunk Stern, which meant he didn’t have the brainpower to reevaluate his entire life and hold conversation.

“So, now do you want to talk about it?” Barclay asked. He sounded just a little annoyed, but mostly…was that worried? Stern supposed that sitting on the ground in the woods and not responding to external stimuli for a couple of minutes was probably pretty worrying, so he’d let Barclay have that.

“What?” Stern asked, because his life crisis had kind of driven the beginning of their conversation from his mind.

“Not really.” Yes, actually. He really wanted to talk about it, but he most definitely was not going to on account of it made him sound like an idiot. Which, he already looked like an idiot, so maybe he ought to care less about sounding like one. But he technically did have a reputation to maintain. Sure, Barclay probably wasn’t going to go tell the FBI about Stern whining to him at ten fucking pm on a Friday night, but it was the principal of the thing.

“Alright then. Um. Is there someone I should go…bring here?”

Stern took a deep breath, because the alternative was probably screaming and he most definitely didn’t do that in front of still kind of strangers. Especially hot ones.

No, drunk Stern. Stop thinking about how he’s hot.

“There’s no one,” he said, and he only sounded kind of pathetic. Or, he thought he did. Barclay looked kind of concerned, though, so maybe not. Stern sighed, and admitted to himself that the urge to complain about his shitty day overpowered the urge to not vent in public. “Okay, so, maybe I do need to talk.”

Barclay nodded, then carefully sat down beside Stern. Closer than Stern felt almost complete strangers should sit, but far enough away that idiot Stern that keeps forgetting he just got dumped felt disappointed.

“So, uh, bad breakup?” Barclay guessed. Stern laughed, a short, harsh laugh, and he wished he still had a drink to take a dramatic swig of.

“That obvious?” He replied, settling for a self-deprecating smile.

“Well, I was pretty sure no one died. So it was that or you got fired. Glad I guessed right, though.” Barclay grinned. Yes, drunk idiot Stern’s initial conclusion that Barclay had a nice smile was correct, and not-idiot Stern was very annoyed. “Would’ve been kinda awkward if I’d been wrong, yeah?”

“Getting broken up with is just getting fired from being in love. Basically.” It had sounded more eloquent inside his head, but Stern would settle for coherent. More than settle, because Barclay chuckled again, and idiot Stern decided it was even nicer than his smile. Not-idiot Stern gave up.

“And getting fired is just getting dumped by your boss?” Barclay shot back.

“Exactly.”

They shared a look, and Stern felt himself smile. Well. This was ruining his plans to find some corner of the woods and sulk for the entire night, but he found he didn’t mind too much.

“So, how long ago did it happen?” Barclay asked.

“You said it’s ten, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then it’s been, hm. It was eight thirty when I started getting worried and went to go look for him…so an hour and a half, maybe?”

“Shit, I’m so sorry, I figured you were out camping to get over-“ Barclay paused abruptly. “Wait, look for him?”

Stern nodded, which didn’t do great things for his internal sense of balance.

“He said he had to go to the bathroom. Thirty minutes later, I get worried and go to check on him. Guess where he wasn’t?”

“Are you sure he hasn’t been, uh, kidnapped or eaten by a bear or-“

“His car’s gone,” Stern said, scowling. He felt a little bad about cutting Barclay off, or maybe just about the fact that it’d made the other man flinch. “Which, you know, is the car we both drove up in.”

There was a moment of silence. Stern spent most of it trying to decide whether to be angry at his brand new ex, or annoyed with himself, or worried that he’d killed this conversation for good.

“Sorry I. Wow. That’s.”

“Yeah. You know, I’ve heard of going to the bathroom to ditch a bad date, but I’d thought he would be too polite to do that where I have no cell reception.”

“Do you…” Barclay winced. “No, sorry, that’s a personal question. Nevermind.”

“Do I know why he did it?” Stern leaned back on his hands to look at the sky, in the hopes the stars would make him feel better. They didn’t, and looking up just made him fall onto his back, so instead he turned back to Barclay. “No idea! We were just talking, having a normal conversation that was going perfectly well. Then,” Stern reached into his jacket pocket, panicking when his hand didn’t immediately close on his badge. As it turned out, his pockets were just a lot deeper than he’d thought. He waved the badge in front of him as he continued, “he asked me about this.”

Barclay just looked confused, and Stern realized abruptly that the way he’d phrased that last sentence made no sense.

“Sorry. It’s…I’m in the FBI, and I just got transferred. He asked…he asked what the department was, and when I said he went…you know.”

“He fucked off?”

“Yeah.” Stern squinted at the badge. “Don’t know why, though. If I told him I was specializing in homicide then hey, maybe that just means I was dating a serial killer but…”

“But what?”

“They put me in Unexplained Phenomena. You know, the paranormal division?”

Stern thought Barclay might’ve stiffened for a moment. Thought that the laugh he let out a second later might’ve been a little nervous. But hey, he wasn’t disappearing into thin air, so it was better than the last person he’d mentioned his job to.

“I know,” Stern said, deciding that it must’ve just been how unrealistic it all sounded. “I mean, I always figured that the United States government had a paranormal division, I just never thought that I’d…join it.”

He slipped his badge back into his pocket, deciding not to mention that it was basically the job he’d dreamed of getting as a kid.

“So, what, do you go find psychics or something?”

“No clue. My new superiors were…well, they were pretty vague, and I don’t start till Monday.” Stern smiled, trying not to look too bitter. “This was supposed to be us celebrating the new assignment.”

Barclay hummed sympathetically, some strange look on his face that Stern would make sure to overanalyze in the morning. If he remembered it.

“Well, if he’s not going to celebrate with you, would. Uh. Would some strangers work?”

Stern stared at him for a second, trying to process that offer. He failed.

“What?”

“I’m here with some friends. They’re, uh, kind of rowdy. But they like celebrating stuff, and they don’t run off in the middle of the night.” Barclay paused. “Well, a couple of ‘em do, but that’s just to go make out in the woods, and they usually get back to their tents after.”

“Are you sure? I’ve never, you know, gone on a group camping trip,” aside from FBI wilderness training, which very much didn’t count, “but uh. I’m sure bringing a sad drunk guy to the party breaks some kind of rule.”

Barclay scoffed, already standing. Even though they hadn’t been sitting that close together, Stern still felt the chilly air left by his absence.

Ugh, he could feel the cold. That meant he might be sober soon.

Stern was coming to grips with that fact as Barclay held out his hand. He reached out and took it on instinct, and ended up so distracted by how warm it was that he hardly noticed as Barclay easily pulled him to his feet. He stumbled a little bit, reaching out with his free hand to stabilize himself. Somehow, this meant his hand ended up on Barclay’s chest.

Stern tried to remind himself that he just got dumped, and he was drunk, and he should probably chill for at least a day because rebounding never worked out. But, hey. It wasn’t rebounding if he was just making himself a little dizzy with the realization that the handsome guy that had invited Stern to his campground was definitely strong enough to bench press a tree, right? That was just being reasonable, and besides, Barclay had given absolutely no indication that he found Stern attractive. So it was fine. Absolutely fine.

“I know I’ve been asking if you’re alright a lot. But are you, uh, alright?”

Stern really had to figure out how to be drunk without standing and staring at nothing – or at people’s faces – for longer than he could pass off as casual.

“Hey, it could be worse. You could be an angry drunk. Or, uh, a crying drunk. One of my best friends is a crying drunk.”

“I said that out loud,” Stern said, and wanted to die.

“Sure did,” Barclay replied, smiling. Stern was pretty sure he should be annoyed about someone laughing at him, but on Barclay it somehow didn’t seem cruel. “Now, uh, do you wanna get going?”

Stern nodded, following Barclay until they reached a campsite just two lots away from his. He resisted the urge to back away and sprint into the woods. You don’t know if they saw you feeling sorry for yourself, he told himself. Barclay didn’t react, which meant Stern had probably managed to keep the thought inside his head.

“Barclay! We thought you got lost!”

The woman who had said that was sitting backwards on a folding camp chair, which should’ve looked awkward. Somehow, she pulled it off, just like how she pulled off the bright red pompadour. She was grinning, and Stern got the feeling she was the kind of person that grinned easily.

Then she caught sight of him, and that grin turned…curious? Maybe sly. Definitely sly.

“Who’s that?” She asked, and the man sitting next to her gave her a look.

“Aubrey, stop trying to give people meaningful looks. It’s fuckin’ unnerving.”

“Yeah, well, I’m always right, so,” she trailed off. Barclay sighed.

“When you don’t scare ‘em off.”

“Aw, c’mon Duck! That was one whole time. And technically one of them was Ned’s ex, who came back eventually and therefore doesn’t count.”

“She has a point about that,” a man, probably Ned, added helpfully.

“I’m not cooking breakfast for you tomorrow, Aubrey.” Barclay stepped into the circle of camping chairs and Stern followed. There were…a lot of people. Stern was rapidly coming to the conclusion that this was a mistake, but by that point Barclay was gesturing toward an empty seat and he couldn’t bring himself to say no.

As soon as he was close enough for the firelight to illuminate his face, Aubrey narrowed her eyes at him. She stared at him. He stared back. She continued staring at him. Stern got even more annoyed with himself for staring at people while drunk, because having turned against him was very unsettling.

“Oh, hey!” She finally said, leaning back in her chair. She flailed a little as she almost lost her balance, and the tall, blonde woman on her other side put a hand on her back to stabilize her. “You’re the guy that was solo drinking earlier!”

“I should go,” Stern said, “I just realized I have something I need to do.” Like hiding in his tent for the rest of his life.

“No you don’t,” Barclay said, then turned to Aubrey. “Please, Aubrey, I’m begging you. Stop being like this for ten minutes.”

“Okay, fine.” Aubrey made it sound like that was some sort of great burden. But, when she continued with, “so, who is this?” There was less innuendo and more genuine curiosity.

“I’m Stern,” he said.

“But what’s your name.”

It was Stern’s turn to squint at her.

“Oh. Wait. My name’s a word,” he said, once he managed to fully process what she’d just said. “I’m drunk.”

“Yeah, we got that.” Duck shifted, adjusting the Smoky the Bear ball cap he was wearing.

“I don’t normally get drunk at eight pm. Or alone.” Or ever, really.

“Sure,” Aubrey said, and almost sounded like she believed him. Another woman, off to the side of the fire, scoffed in a way that indicated she very obviously didn’t.

“My boyfriend dumped me and now I’m stranded in the woods.”

He hadn’t meant to say that. But he’d already complained to Barclay, which meant there was a decent chance they’d find out anyway. Besides, it turned out complaining felt pretty damn good, especially with how offended Aubrey immediately looked.

“Okay, fair,” Duck said, as the blonde woman put a hand on Aubrey’s shoulder and forced her to stay sitting.

“I’ll fight him for you,” Aubrey declared.

“Babe, he drove away,” the blonde woman said. It didn’t sound like she was arguing with the concept, just the logistics.

“Did he take his stuff?” Aubrey asked. Stern shook his head. “I’ll fight him when he comes back for his stuff, then. I can wait for that. I can wait a long time.”

“You’re not gonna fight him when he gets back, Aubrey. You’re just fuckin’ tipsy.” Duck rolled his eyes, then looked at Stern. “She gets enthusiastic when she’s tipsy.”

“I’m always enthusiastic!”

“Alright, she gets more enthusiastic.”

“I will assist you in destroying him, if you – unlike some weaklings – have the courage to wield me,” a muffled voice said from inside a nearby tent.

“Who said that?” Stern asked.

“Uh, absolutely no one. Definitely not-“

“It’s Duck’s stupid action figure,” Aubrey interrupted, “Got it for his sister’s kid, then forgot to take out the batteries when we got here.” Aubrey tilted her head meaningfully toward the tent. Duck sighed, unzipped the tent, and disappeared inside.

“That’s…” Stern paused, trying to think of a way to express his thoughts that wasn’t rude.

“A shitty toy?” Duck guessed from inside the tent. “Yeah, I’m realizing that.”

There were more muffled sounds, and then complete silence as Duck…was Duck piling every single duffel in the tent into a corner of the tent?

That was a problem for sober Stern, drunk Stern decided.

“Hey, uh, sorry about the whole innuendo thing,” Aubrey said, out of nowhere. Stern wondered if that was a distraction. It worked.

“It’s no problem?” He hadn’t meant for it to sound like a question. Barclay dropped into a seat beside him, sighing heavily.

“Aubrey, please. I’m begging you. Shut up.”

“No, I need to apologize properly.”

“This ain’t apologizing,” Duck chimed in, not looking away from whatever he was doing. “This is furthering your fuckin’ agenda.”

“It’s just that you’re Barclay’s type, so I assumed-“

Barclay interrupted her by groaning, and by the time Stern’s head whipped around to look at him – which was, despite the fact that he was slightly less drunk than before, still a bad idea – his head was in his hand.

“Babe, please,” the blonde woman begged. Aubrey smiled unrepentantly, and high fived Ned. Tried to high five Ned. They both missed.

“I hate to admit it, but he ain’t wrong,” the woman from the other side of the fire said. Barclay let out a noise that might’ve been a scream.

“I’m your what?”

“That’s not why I did…Aubrey, why are you implying…I’m so sorry about her, that wasn’t why I did that.” Barclay was definitely blushing, and Stern wasn’t sure if that had him excited or panicking.

You can’t try and rebound literally an hour and a half after getting dumped. Stern reminded the smart part of his brain that he’d already told it to be quiet.

“I wasn’t trying to come onto you, I promise. I was just worried about you.”

“Um,” Stern said, then took a second to try and think of something valid to follow that up with. “It’s…fine? I didn’t think you were.”

It had been kind of disappointing, actually.

“Anyway, Duck. Do you have your situation handled?” The blonde woman asked, cutting into the awkward silence.

“Yeah,” Duck responded, stepping back out of the tent and zipping it back up with more force than Stern thought was warranted. “Anyway, what the hell were we talking about before?”

“How you ate shit skateboarding last week!” Aubrey said, enthusiastically. Duck looked like he regretted his entire life.

“I did not.”

“You did to.”

“I am inclined to agree with Aubrey, my friend.”

As the argument settled into comfortable background noise, Stern leaned over to Barclay.

“You’re my type too,” he whispered as quietly as he could manage. The others didn’t stop their conversation, which Stern hoped was an indication he hadn’t mucked it up too bad.

“What?” Barclay asked, eyes wide.

“You’re my type, too,” Stern repeated, then realized Barclay most definitely wasn’t asking because he hadn’t heard.

“Are you sure you’re not just saying that because you’re drunk?”

Stern hummed thoughtfully.

“I am stupid when I’m drunk,” he mused, softly. Barclay deflated, just a little, which very much wasn’t Stern’s intention. “Hey, do you think you’ll still be awake in an hour?”

Barclay glanced over at the rest of the group, just in time for Aubrey to laugh loudly enough to break noise curfew and nearly topple into the blonde woman at her side.

“Even if I didn’t want to be, yeah. Why?”

“That’s how long it’ll take for me to not be stupid,” Stern said, in what he hoped was a properly serious voice. “I’ll tell you again then.”

Barclay opened his mouth. Barclay closed his mouth. Barclay opened his mouth. Barclay gave up on whatever he’d initially intended to say, and smiled.

[zophora]

Halo

Pairing: Tom Holland x Neutral reader

Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: Kat killed me with that moodboard of lazy mornings with Tom so this fic is sort of based off it. Her blog is @loserparker and this is also not really based off the song “Halo” by Beyonce (Tom is Bold)

Warning: Mentioning a bit of that scene (you know what I’m talking about) from Infinity War. So be careful if you haven’t seen it! Also, just a bit of sadness at the end.

The formatting is fucking up :)

Masterlist

~Hit me like a ray of sun, Burning through my darkest night, You're the only one that I want, Think I'm addicted to your light~

Slowly opening your eyes, you glanced around the room. Bright yellow light was streaming in through the cracks of the blinds. The bed was a mess of blankets and pillows thrown everywhere. To your right laid Tom.

His body was wrapped tightly in the comforter with his head on the pillow. You could hear his shallow breathing as he slept peacefully. And in this moment, you swear you could see your whole life flash before your eyes. And you knew, yes, it sounded cliche, but you couldn’t help it.

You saw Tom proposing, knowing him it would probably be something extra, somehow more extra than he usually is. You laughed quietly to yourself. You saw yourself walking down the aisle, your family and friends standing and smiling at you and Tom, standing at the altar with the biggest smile on his face you had ever seen him have and tears in his eyes. You saw your kids running around the house that you two had bought together with Tom chasing after them pretending he was Spider-Man chasing his little villains. You saw your children all grown up and you and Tom growing old together, reminiscing about the years you spent with each other falling in love over and over again.

“I can feel you staring at me,” Tom said snapping you out of your thoughts. He opened his eyes and smiled at you.

“Caught red-handed. But can you really blame me? I’m staring at art,” you said jokingly, smiling back at him.

“Really? Well, come give this piece of art a kiss,” he said with a smirk.

“Augh, you’re so annoying” but you leaned in and gave him a kiss anyways.

“So, what are we doing today? I don’t have work and you don’t have filming today….”

You took one look at each other and said in unison “lazy day”

See, this is why we are so perfect together. We both love doing nothing and I couldn’t ask for a better person to do nothing with.

“We have to make our ‘special lazy day lunch’ first,” Tom said.

You laughed and said “of course”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This isn’t the first time you and Tom have had a chance to do nothing all day. This happened whenever the two of you were actually home at the same time, which didn’t happen that often, but when it did, you two would have the most amazing day.

Now, your definition of ‘lazy day’ was just a bit different. Instead of laying in the bed all day sleeping and waking up, bored out of your mind, or just staring at your phone, you and Tom made it fun.

On those days, you usually woke up whenever your body decided to wake you up. Sometimes you woke up first and sometimes Tom woke up first. When Tom woke up first, he would go to the kitchen and fix breakfast for the both of you if it was still morning. The only reason you woke up was because you didn’t feel the warmth of his body next to yours. Wandering into the kitchen, you would always find a mess and Tom trying to frantically make pancakes or waffles before you woke up. Unfortunately, you always woke up before he could make it back to bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Tommy, can you take out the Belgian waffle maker and the bacon?”

It was a little past 12 and Tom wanted lunch, but you wanted breakfast, so you two decided on brunch. You came to a resolution of Belgian waffles, bacon, mini sandwiches, fruit, and croissants (of course). It took about a half hour to make everything and after getting all your food together, you headed back to bed.

You took out a blanket from the linen closet and laid it out on the floor. Tom put out all the plates of food and your drinks and grabbed some pillows from the bed. It was a cute little indoor picnic.

“So how was your sleep?” You asked Tom as you two sat on the blanket and started eating.

“Pretty good until you woke me up with your staring,” he said with a sly grin.

“Hey! My staring definitely did not wake you up!”

“I’m just kidding, love. My sleep was great. I was having the most amazing dream where we had an amazing weekend getaway to Italy.”

“That sounds romantic, we should definitely do that sometime. Talk about the perfect place to go with the love of my life,” you said staring at him with only love in your eyes.

“It doesn’t matter where we go to me, as long as I’m there with you.”

You and Tom had a long conversation of the perfect trip to Italy, finished your food, and cleaned up the picnic, moving onto the next “lazy day” activity.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright, so I’m thinking that I want a rematch from last week…..”

“I have no idea what you are talking about, Y/N,” he said blinking his eyes knowing full well what you were talking about.

“Don’t play stupid with me, Stanley. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Tom looked at you intently and then opened his eyes wide, pretending to finally realize what you are talking about, “Ohhhhh you mean that dance battle we had??”

“Yes Tom, and as I recall, there was one part where you cheated which caused you to win the whole thing and I want a rematch.”

“You can have your rematch, but for the record, I definitely did not cheat, I’m just a really good dancer”

“Sure Thomas”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last week, you and Tom had come home from a premiere and were still pretty energized considering the buzz of flashing cameras and the fun you had at the after party. So to try to get rid of some of that energy, you guys decided to have a dance off playing Just Dance 2014.

As you went through the different songs, you would win some and Tom would win some. When you got to your last song, which was Jason Derulo’s “The Other Side,” Tom managed to somehow cheat. You two were tied for wins and this song would have determined the champion of Just Dance 2014.

Well, right before you guys danced, Tom went into the other room and got on the phone with someone. You didn’t think it was important at the time, but looking back you realized what he did.

Sometime near the end of the song, you and Tom were neck and neck when someone suddenly burst through the front door and started calling out, “HELLO HELLO ANYONE HOOOMEEE?!?”

You, of course, got distracted and your moves started getting sloppy until you got so far behind in points that you just decided to give up.

The person who came in the room was obviously HARRISON.

“TOM YOU FREAKING CHEATED”

“I have no idea what you are talking about!”

“YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! WHY IS HARRISON HERE?”

Harrison looked dumbfounded and said, “Whatever could you mean?” Placing his hand over his heart, “Honestly, I was just stopping by to say hello and see what you guys were up to. Apparently, I stepped in the middle of something…..”

“Oh don’t play dumb with me Haz. I know that you are in cahoots with Mr. Cheater over there trying hard not to laugh.”

“Y/N I swear, I won fair and square,” Tom said trying to suppress a smile.

“Yeah whatever man. I’m tired, but I definitely want a rematch.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You made sure all the doors were locked and that Harrison was nowhere near where you and Tom lived. Luckily, he was out of town with some friends. Tom set up Just Dance 2014 and picked the Jason Derulo song.

“You sure you want this rematch? Are you ready to lose again?”

“Are you ready to take this hit to your ego, Stanley?”

You danced your heart out and Tom did too. In the end, with no distractions, you came out victorious.

“HA I KNEW IT!! DON’T TRY TO TELL ME ANYTHING”

You felt slightly bad because Tom did look seriously surprised. Like he knew that you were a pretty decent dancer, but considering ‘The Other Side’ was one of the hardest songs in the game, he thought he had a fighting chance. Boy, was he wrong.

“Alright, I’ll admit when I’m wrong. You are the rightful champion of Just Dance 2014. Do you want a scepter with that crown?”

“Actually, yeah. I would freaking love that. Now you can treat me like royalty for the rest of the day”

Tom just smiled and bowed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“As I was saying, I just think that you know, Marvel didn’t have to hurt us like that. And especially you! What the hell was that???”

You and Tom had been going back and forth about Avengers Infinity War. It was now dark outside and after you had won your little competition, Tom ordered a pizza. You were now laying in bed staring at the ceiling with a pizza box between the two of you.

“Well, I don’t really know. Those lines just kinda came to me. It was completely improve. I mean, I just repeated the same thing, not really a big deal,” he said with a little shrug of his shoulders.

You gasped and hit him, “What do you mean not a big deal?? That scene made Marvel fans around the world freaking cry.”

“Yeah I guess. I don’t know. There was so much going on, that I was like, I’ll do something and just hope people think it’s good enough.”

Your body shot up, sitting straight in the bed staring at Tom. The moonlight was coming in through the cracks of your blinds and the light was lighting up Tom’s face. You could see the subtle movements in his eyes as they darted back in forth between your face and the wall, like he was afraid of something. His eyes looked as though they desperately wanted to let out tears. The smile that he had a couple of minutes ago, now faded, with no trace of it ever being there.

“Tom? What’s wrong?” He didn’t respond, but sat up and stared out the window instead.

You wrapped your arms around him from behind and put your chin on his shoulder.

“Baby, you can tell me anything. Don’t ever feel like you have to hide something from me….”

“I just… I have so much to live up to. I’m constantly surrounded by people that have made a name for themselves in this crazy town. And I have to somehow prove to all of them, my parents, my siblings, my friends, those people that bullied me when I was younger, and everyone else that I’m good enough. And on top of that, I have to keep up this image of myself. I mean, It’s not like I’m faking anything in front of the cameras, but to act a certain way all the time is just draining.”

As you looked at Tom, you saw a few tears fall from his eyes. You stood up off the bed in crouched down in front of him, took his hands in your hands and looked up at him.

“Tommy, look at me.” It took him a minute to meet your eyes.

“Okay well, first of all, you do not have to prove yourself to anyone. Everyone knows just how hard you are working. You’re working so hard that sometimes, I barely get to see you because you are off filming or promoting a movie.”

Tom interrupted you and said, “And I completely forgot about that. I’m not even around the person I’m dating. How could I be so selfish?”

“Tom. You. Are. Not. Selfish. It is one hundred percent okay because I love you and I know that you are trying to build your career. That just means that the moments that we have together are very important because of the little time we have. It means that when you are around, I cherish that time even more because when you aren’t here, I think back on those moments and you know what? I don’t cry, I smile. I smile because I love you too much to ever get in the way of what you love to do because I know that we will always have these moments and I always have something to look forward to in my life, you coming back home to me.”

“How did I ever get someone as amazing as you?”

“You were patient enough to wait for someone that was perfect for you. Now it’s my turn to do the same. I’ll wait for as long as you need me to. As long as one day you put a ring on my finger,” you said cracking a smile.

Tom let out a little laugh and said, “you can definitely count on that, love”

\\Tags: @hollandbaby @dearcindymoon @sarsmusings @patron-saintof-sluts @pickachurose @tomhoellandb @bangtanscope @heroholland @wtfholland @onewrogue @purepeterparker @stephie-senpai @beautifullydisconnected @babykaykay2000 @tomsfireheart

[delcanprobably]

Assassin’s Creed II Review

i finished assassin’s creed ii (2) and now i will write a thing about it

visuals and gameplay (which i normally wouldn’t group together but for this game it makes sense)

It’s from the era where everything is a desaturated shade of murky brown or sewerage green but once you get past that, it’s really a beautiful game. I think some areas get less desaturated as you play, but that might’ve just been time of day or me getting used to it. Having finished the game, I’ve reached the point where I’m not taken out of it by the visuals, and I actually appreciate the views a lot. I certainly liked it early on, but it took a while before I took it in that much. I feel that everything fits together really well, hard to explain exactly, but it’s just very solid and quite immersive. I didn’t learn the map very well, there are landmarks, but most of the cities are so samey that they don’t have many memorable areas. They’re distinct from each other, but internally, they feel pretty much the same wherever you are. It’s probably historically accurate, but it sometimes feels like you’re just running through what might as well be a procedurally generated series of tiled rooves. Overall though, the world looks good and serves the parkour system pretty well, and that’s what’s important. The parkour system gives the whole freedom thing but is also a bit unpredictable at times. It doesn’t magnet you into things as perfectly as newer games do, so I pretty regularly missed jumps (though I do kinda suck on a controller). It’s especially frustrating when you’re trying to do a leap of faith (super high jump into a hay bale indicated by a flock of birds and birdseed) and you somehow miss, like 99% of the time you go in, but if you don’t you make a complete fool of yourself. I started checking some of the less obvious ones, which kind of defeats the point of the whole system. NPCs are fairly primitive (maybe good for the time considering the crowd density?) but for whatever reason, I found that in tandem with the world, it was enough to be pretty immersive. In typical Ubisoft fashion, the world tries to be immersive while also being very gamey, as in there are all these consistent, familiar setups that you learn and can use as tools. Of course, this does mean in missions you sometimes find many conveniently placed solutions nearby, but rarely was it annoyingly blatant, and it kind of fueled the whole badass thing. The main thing that took me out is that there are a bunch of bugs. Visible spawn-ins (a couple of times I sprinted full pelt into a squad that spawned like a metre in front of me), parkour bugs, odd NPC behaviour etc., are pretty prevalent. It’s not Cyberpunk 1468, but it’s pretty meh. Money is fucking dumb. For the first hourish you’re barely able to afford anything. Then you get access to a town that generates shit-tonnes of money for you, and then you start getting thousands of florins when you so much as cough impressively and money becomes an entirely empty system. It’s honestly kind of comical. It’s good because you don’t have to worry about a stupid economy system, but it’s also obviously a bit dumb. I see what they went for, like you’re meant to build up this place to have a higher value and generate more money that you can then spend upgrading it and stuff, but I was more than comfortable with the amount of money I was getting in when I’d done like 10% of the upgrades. Oh, and then there’s this retarded system where you can buy artworks to add value to your base, but you never see them, they don’t add much value, and they’re really cheap. So honestly they’re just kind of there for the sake of being there, and near the end I started just going to the town’s art shops and bought all their artworks with the billions of florins I’d saved up. Also, to max out your base’s value, you have to buy every armour piece, even if it’s weaker than the one you’re up to (and the best armour is unlocked in the story anyway). And you can’t change which armour/weapons you have equipped without going back to your base. Not that it matters because it’s so easy that it doesn’t matter what you have equipped, more on that later. The classic issue that’s plagued AC forever is the repetitive fetch-questy bullshit missions, and yes they are there, but they honestly didn’t annoy me much at all. There are probably less than one for every story mission, so it honestly becomes a nice way to break it up. The exception is the assassinations, but they’re basically just cool bonus missions. You can do them whenever you want, and they have the gameplay of the main assassination missions. So they’re almost like missions distilled to their best bits without much backstory or polish. Oh yeah, and then there are the towers, but they’re kind of fun. You have to figure out how to get to the top (usually relatively straight-forward), the parkour to get up can be pretty fun, and then you get a nice view at the end. Honestly enjoyed them a lot for what it’s worth.

A major problem I had is that the game is just too damn easy. Yes, it’s meant to be a badass simulator to some extent but even if you don’t touch the controller for a whole fight, by the end of the game it’d take several minutes for enemies to knock your health down close to zero and then you have a gazillion health potions that start you all over again. More and more I felt very little risk in anything, and if I failed to do a cool plan for an assassination, then it usually wouldn’t matter and I’d be better off just going with it than I would waiting to die to try again. Fights with a small group are fun and break things up but it becomes a chore quickly and you start running away just out from fear of boredom. The best moments for difficulty were the forced stealth sections where you can’t get caught, but the problem with those were that if a guard becomes alerted then you instantly lose, even if they went from zero to alerted as you fall into an air assassination. The most fun with stealth outside those missions was the slim margin moments where you kill a guy just barely before they alert everyone, but you can’t even do that in stealth only missions. The ‘hidden in plain sight’ approach to stealth is pretty neat though so I’ll give it that.

It’s action-stealth but very action-oriented. It isn’t like a stealth game that you can jankily do some action stuff in, it’s easy to do things guns-blazing and a bit awkward but possible to be stealthy. I usually took the route of staying relatively hidden until I was in a good spot to assassinate my target and then got them and ran off, and I’m pretty sure this is how they want you to play based on the trailers and such. Coming with the easiness thing is that there are so many ways to kill people. You have a radial menu with around eight different weapons, and I can tell you that I used only three - two of which have quick access on the d-pad - outside of some very specific cases. I could’ve finished the game with just the hidden blade, sword, and throwing knives. It’s honestly absurd, for instance, there’s a knife that does less damage than your sword and is maybe slightly faster(?) Not only do you rarely need something between the sword and hidden blade, but there’s also no quick button for it on the d-pad, so it just never gets used. The excessive number of weapons include a couple that are meant to be tools for stealth, but it’s such a faf to go into the menu and select them that I rarely could be bothered.

story and stuff idk The story was pretty great, but I think some people exaggerate it a bit. Yes, the writing is pretty good, and Ezio is a great protagonist as far as video games go. What compelled me the most in the story was uncovering the conspiracy, not the characters’ story arcs. Even then, I got a bit lost halfway through. That’s not to say the characters are bad, they’re A-tier as far as video games go, but there’s no interesting development or real emotional thing behind anyone other than Ezio, and even then, it’s a kind of. He has some character development, but it’s pretty much done in the first third of the game. I will say I definitely cared a lot and was never annoyed by the story, and that’s rare for me. There are some dumb plot points when you think about them for a bit though, and there’s a retarded twist near the end. There’s the standard moral ambiguity thing you get in video games though. You learn about how you need to respect who you kill and only kill people for the common good and blah blah, but then you regularly kill half a dozen guards to go pick up a few hundred florins out of a box. And then there’s the fact guards instantly get sus if you’re on the rooftops (fair enough), which gives you an incentive just to kill them so that you can keep using the more fun method of travel. Whatever though, video games be video games. (story spoiler for people who have never played assassin’s creed, skip the italic bit if you wanna avoid) Oh yeah, the modern-day bits. Almost felt like there weren’t enough, to be honest. Like, I’m more interested in Ezio’s story, but there is so little closure in the modern-day stuff. Felt a tad underdone. The conclusion of the game gives a pretty intriguing ending for the like the lore of the modern-day story, but it leaves a lot of questions unanswered for both Desmond and Ezio’s story, and honestly, overall, it kind of feels like a massive cock tease for the rest of the Ezio trilogy. The last level is here and there. Very out of place and comes out of nowhere, but also pretty epic I guess. The final boss is pretty meh though; they’ve built a system where it’s impossible to make it actually difficult, so it’s basically just another fight.

Small note: the DLC is basically two extra chapters before the final chapter. So you end up hitting that, and you get voice lines that are kinda confusing (cause they’re written like you’ve finished the game and come back), and then you have that thing where you can tell that it’s DLC and not the main game. Kinda takes steam out of the tension built up to the second-last chapter of the main game, but whatever. The DLC itself is pretty great, but I’d maybe not be saying that if I’d explicitly paid for them and it wasn’t just included with the PC version. Oh yeah, there’s one mission that I loved the premise of but hated in practice, and it’s pretty much the peak mission in the whole game (it’s even the one depicted in the trailer). Basically (major game spoilers, minor story spoilers, skip the whole paragraph), you have to win a series of games at a carnival to get a ticket into a party hosted by your target. Once you’re in, the guards start to catch on, and you have to blend in while they swarm the party. Then your target shows up on a boat for a speech, and you have to kill him, preferably without having the entire city guards notice you. So conceptually, that’s pretty sick really. But there are so many issues with it that completely took me out of it. First, the carnival games. Instead of being bothered to program a whole new system to make this make any sense, you just have to “win” all of the games, two of which are basically just standard side-quests where you’re just competing against a clock or not dying. It completely took me out how the whole concept doesn’t make any sense, like you only get the ticket if you *win* all the games? What if you came second in one? I’m competing against no one though, so there is no second. It just makes zero logical sense. Then there’s the party. It’s pretty good up until the bit where you actually have to assassinate the guy. A character you’re with suggests that you don’t swim across, and instead you shoot him with the gun you just unlocked and do it in time with the fireworks that are going off, so that no one notices, and it’s given in that typical video game character giving gameplay directions kinda way. Great, except the fireworks are just a background sound, and there’s no difference whether you time it right or not. Also, guards get alerted the second you start charging up your shot if you’re not entirely hidden, so it doesn’t even matter. You still get the guards chasing you if you do the suggested method. However, I realised that there was a convenient tower nearby and thought maybe I was meant to sneak to the side of the party and climb the tower and “snipe” him! But no, because the game doesn’t let you target him from that high up. As far as I could figure out, there’s no particularly elegant way of taking him out, especially not without getting the guards on you. It was just so unsatisfying to have this great setup, probably the best in the game, but have it feel rushed and broken. Other than that I rarely had a problem with the story missions, other than the standard few “oh great a tailing mission” moments, but come on man, that’s such wasted potential. [spoilers over]

conclusion What I loved about this game was the atmosphere and jumping around exploring 15th century Italy. That’s followed by the aforementioned badass simulatorage and some aspects of the story. There was very little about this game that I proper disliked other than what I’ve mentioned. It’s an easy game to get lost in, and it’s not as stupid long as most open-world games, so if you’re a little interested, it can’t hurt to give it a shot, I guess. You have to appreciate exploring worlds a lot though, which I do. Zero challenge, so avoid like the plague if that’s an issue. If you want an actual stealth game in a similar setting with far more choice and challenge, you want Dishonored (which imo is the better game, but it’s a different type of game). This game is more jumping around buildings and taking in the world, and oh yeah also you’re meant to be a sneaky assassin. Also would highly recommend using a controller. Avoid playing the Xbox 360 version on backwards compatibility though, because I did that, and apparently, it’s a common problem for your entire save to get wiped at one specific bit. How d’you reckon I found that out? Thankfully, my old PC save was at the right point. Also, Ubisoft protected sexual predators for years :). Thanks for listening to my TEDx Seatle talk.