#was cracking up watching Skizz's episode

[jaspersfeelinartsy]

Doodles from before I watched the Cleo v. Doc trial ;)

Me: "yeahhh, Joe's gonna throw the book at 'em"

Joe: "your honor highness, my client is a baby/manchild"

[fountainpenguin]

Wild Life Session 1 takeaways thus far:

- Tiny Grian blends in with the fish

- Scar and Jimmy are doing their best... I don't have anything specific to say, but I like their cherry hill base plans. And I'm just really glad Scar decided to call them Bam Boys instead of Bang Boys.

- Grian's reputation as a cheater precedes him and it cracks me up... He really is out here like "You really think I'd cheat on you guys? I've been gone for like 5 minutes" and Mumbo and Skizz are just not having it.

- Grian: "I'm not here to share." [Realizes Martyn took all the sugarcane right in front of him.] "Oh, wait... Can I have some?"

- Etho calling BigB his big brother and saying he's nervous about wandering away and needs someone to hold his hand...

- I really enjoyed the Etho-Bdubs banter over the black horse. Bdubs had so many great lines throughout this episode. I especially liked "Wait, I can't take this- That's a bad example for the children."

- Giant Etho and Tiny Scott in the boat...

- Martyn looking around in confusion when he can't find Ren like "I think Ren shrank so much, he perished."

- Ahasbands... save me, Wild Life Ahasbands... Martyn gushing over Mumbo (to Ren) and imitating Mumbo's voice and talking about how cool he is (followed by their later teasing chat over Martyn inventing the wheel) is killing me slowly...

-> sldkfjsdklfj wait, Martyn really is gunning to bring Mumbo on his team, huh? Yeah, that's not gonna last.

- Ren and Martyn talking about how they were going to claim the top of the cherry hill unless someone already put down a sign, and then they reach the top of a long climb and there's just a sign saying Scar and Jimmy live there. Comedy gold...

Martyn: I think [Grian] thinks of you as 'less than half.' Mumbo, who has spent an entire episode bragging about being tiny and loathing anyone big: Or more than half. That'd be worse.

I'm crying.

- I enjoy Martyn saying "I love that for us" in regards to a group he's trying to schmooze his way into, but isn't yet part of.

- I'm fascinated by Sub 1 Club's obsession with getting as tiny as they can and opting to go into swim mode as a form of land travel.

- Oh gosh, Mumbo knows Martyn so well... The lack of faith he has in his honesty is incredible.

- Mumbo screaming at Martyn, "I knew you were tall! I knew it! You're just pretending to be small!" in regards to his personality despite him being small enough to fit in a pocket.

- Martyn leaving by saying "I'm not your friend anymore" sdklfjskd?? Drama in the Ahasband household tonight (/jk)

- Pearl, reluctant to kill animals that have low respawn: Yeah, but porkchops...... Scott: Taste great; yeah, you're right!

- The dichotomy between the other groups I watched, who mostly kept trying to mine or build after they shrank, and GGG + Impulse who started doing parkour.

- CACKLING at Pearl dying, asking her teammates for food, and Cleo looks straight at her and says "Arguably, you shouldn't need any" since her hunger meter refilled when she died.

- Impulse is going to be a really interesting balance to GGG because Cleo is being lightly "aggressive" towards Pearl (Denying her food, teasing her and Impulse for having a thing for soup since they're the Soup Group with Gem). Cleo and Scott cling to each other a lot, so Pearl having a close friend and not ending up a third wheel is interesting.

Scott, digging, calling up in a wobbly voice with his heavy Scottish accent: Pearl, there's a drowned down here! Pearl: There's a... clown down there? Impulse: There is now!

- I doubt the bit will be continuing, but wouldn't that be hilarious if the Clocker family tree extended due to Cleo joking that Pearl and Impulse were her parents?

- Considering I'm currently in the "Impulse and Cleo struggling with half-smothered resentment and weirdness over 3rd Life and stuff" arc in Dog's Life... their conversation about Cleo saying she doesn't trust Impulse is perfect timing. That is literally the arc I've been posting.

- Etho said they're playing in a 500 x 500 world instead of a 700 x 700 one this time. There are so many people this time, so this should be interesting!

-> Even on a server brimming with people, BigB's alone again... (It is very late when I'm scheduling this, so I will watch him another time <3)

[applepixls]

my personal highlights from skizz's pov of build and seek:

the intro. something about the characters sliding around the screen and "its best to take the high road, celebrate with them and act mature about it *SMACK*" it was awesome and cracked me up

him trying to have his plot next to impys and grian and scott separating them

his "I'm hidden, can you find me?" bit (great delivery and his character being tiny in a big open space was hilarious)

skizz always plays like the dumb goof and be the butt of the joke but then he says stuff like "high level infrastructure" and "desensetize them to the poster" and "maslow's pyramid"

the fact that he had all his buddies in there (even people not in the video!) impulse and tango as blacksmith and leatherworker (cause 'i can't not have tango'), jimmy up in the tower with a sign saying 'keep looking, fool!' (the fact skizz tried to write in jimmy's voice is so awesome to me cause i love these peoples unique voices and i can definitely hear him saying that) and scott as the entire army. bonus cause they're all employed and doing stuff like being the army. an army of scotts. meanwhile grian's there "having a bad day". he's just in the basement being tortured. "wheres grian? oh he's just being tortured." and lizzie and joel just sat in the things looking at each other

him just casually saying all his friends are brilliant :)

the fact that his build is like a walk through history model and sort of is a storytelling thing? (i love how him, impulse and grian all took the build a thing task differently to the original crew and played into their own like thing cause skizz is a storyteller, loves his friends and makes people laugh and you can see it reflected in his map. impulse played with some redstone to give people a headache and grian wanted to make people dizzy with his walls and sort of put a twist on the game like he does with each new guess the build and life series by making it escape room-y)

the fact that grian stole all his leather and junk and then was wearing it at the end of the episode

skizz and jimmy as a whole cause they just make each other funnier (this is my plea for plate up or something else with them and tango to come back pleaseee) and just the way jimmy wasted time to say funny things

the fact jimmy looked at joel and lizzie and said "this is love" and impulse looked at it and went "im a bit worried about you"

literally everyone jumping in the water, making some comment about how they were gonna die and skizz being evil and how they were sure he was down there/hated him if he was down there

this is skizzleman propaganda go watch his pov of build and seek if you havent

[fuckyeah-mcyt]

As someone who has not watched a single Hermitcraft episode before today, here's a few of my favorite moments from (finally) watching Skizz's first episode:

-1 minute into the ep and Xisuma has accidentally set himself on fire.

-Grian stating the rules of Demise (genuinely felt like someone had dumped an ice cold bucket of Life Series on my head)

-The Mustard Milktots (what a fucking name) comparing how many crafting tables each person has made so far.

-Ren dying during cooperative mining even though he was the one who organized it.

-Gem fighting the rest of Magic Mountain over getting to be Skizz's neighbor.

-Crack Alley

-Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

-Tango popping up to give Skizz lessons on Hermitcraft Ettiquette.

-The bloopers of said Hermitcraft Ettiquette lesson.

[cattimeswithjellie]

Got up early today to watch the Season X premier and my cheeks already hurt from laughing. For my money, you cannot do better than Cleo as a first perspective on a new season and she did not disappoint today. I laughed through her entire episode and got a good idea of what was happening at the same time. Then I watched Skizz, who is funny and irreverent as usual, and whose use of Replay Mod let me get a great look at where a lot of people are starting their bases. A+! Now I'm watching Impulse, who got a different angle on the opening few hours, and he's always funny (plus we get to see what that new skin was about!)

I think one of the best parts about watching a bunch of different perspectives all together is seeing what various people leave in or take out. For instance, Impulse deftly removed about three references to "Crack Alley" in his perspective (including Grian saying "we're not calling it that!" but left in the part about Mumbo and Scar rubbing up on each other, with Gem clearly trying not to die in the background. They are all terrible in their own ways, and it is so good.

[oh-snapperss]

Hi, I just got around to watching ethos pov and when cleo asks abt joining team ties. She words it like do you have space on your team for another person and before she could clarify that she meant for herself. Etho asks if its for bdubs and now im just wondering if he would have said yes if so. And how that potentionally would have gone over with the other ties seeing as they were calling bdubs dead weight earlier

YEA YEA that moment cracked me up a little bit because like. etho. he really just assumed bdubs... I'm a little conflicted honestly on whether he would have said yes so i'm just gonna use this ask to outline some general observations i've made about etho's character and you can draw your own conclusions about what might have gone down.

Firstly, Etho this series is giving me major survivalist vibes. I noticed that right from the very beginning of his episode he was constantly moving and progressing in the game as much as he could. He was resource gathering a ton and even had the beginnings of a mob farm... for gunpowder and bones specifically. This, along with how he was on high alert all episode, makes me think that he actually has a grasp on how much time does matter even now in the early game. Something that really stuck in my head the whole episode was the line from Tango in Last Life session seven--"He's a survivor, that's what he does."

Every season Etho tends to take his lives very seriously and that's no exception now. Unless he has some very bad luck, I'd be surprised if he's not one of the final players or even the winner.

With all that in mind... lets talk about Bdubs and his actions!

As funny as Bdubs was in killing Skizzleman, he's kinda put a target on his back. No matter what happens next session, Skizz will be going yellow next session, and I wouldn't be surprised if Bdubs is an early target for Skizz if he decides to kill for more time (or if he rolls boogey). Bdubs made a serious error there, and I think he may regret it.

Combine that, with the fact that Etho is currently teamed with Skizz... I have to doubt that he'd take Bdubs as an ally right now, which pains me to say a lot.

BUT I will also add that I doubt Etho will stick around on team T.I.E.S with Skizz being yellow next session. I get the vibes that he's not as attached to the team as the other three are, and with the danger Skizz will pose to him... idk. I wouldn't be shocked if their team fell apart within next session or the one after. And from there, who knows! Maybe a clethubs team up is on the cards after all! I just don't know.

But, lets go back to your point about team ties calling Bdubs deadweight in last life and what might have happened if Etho did take Bdubs with him! Personally... I think that they'd have taken Bdubs... but most likely betrayed him early on down the line.

If anyone has further thoughts on this I'd love to hear!!

[fountainpenguin]

Legit though, I crave more Skizz and Cleo interactions so much. Skizz Cannot Be Normal About Cleo (/lighthearted) and it's hilarious. He just adores her and I wish we talked about that more.

In my mind, their dynamic is that meme about "Come on snake, let's rattle" but she just decks him because she thinks he's inviting her to fight him when he just wanted to dance sdljkf

I've been wanting to watch specifically looking for Cleo and Skizz interactions, but here are a few I remember off the top of my head:

His nicknames for her are Clebert and Cleaver and he will proudly brag about it. Like he will stop a conversation to clarify "I'm talking about Cleo, I call her Clebert" and make sure everyone knows it. She's in his inner nickname circle and he wants everyone to know. Skizz introduced himself to Cleo in Last Life (ep 2) by running up to her and saying "Hug" and headbonking her. She hesitates and he repeats "Hug" and steps closer and then when she's fumbling around, he does it AGAIN by running up to her, overlapping her for half a second, saying "HUG!" and running away sldkfjsd The entire gag in that episode where Cleo starts listing off how many people she's made alliances with and Skizz immediately counters with "That doesn't make me feel very special >:/" He swivels from that to "So I can date you AND the 50 people you're dating??" sldkjf Skizz After Skizz died in LimLife 3 (falling in Impulse's construction hole), he and Cleo meet up and she whispers "hug" and they bump foreheads. I don't even understand why they met up, they were just... there? together? Hanging out by the bamboo? idk it cracks me up. He's seething and she hugs him anyway. She hugs him the same way he hugs her. You know what we call that? Growth. The literal first thing he does after turning red (timer at 7:59:58- he was WAITING for it) is eat a golden apple and sprint off to bother Cleo. Bdubs - AKA Skizz's main rival in Limited Life - is standing right there and Skizz ignores him just to tease Cleo "I'm just DANCING with ya :D" /running circles around her with a diamond axe in hand- "Come on, let's just dance!!"

He's just picked up on her being really fun to interact with because she's a comedic straightman with serious, morbid humor and he's high energy and nuts, and they play off each other really well... They are "someone's gonna die- OF FUN! :D"

I would like them to hang out please and thank you <3 Because their vibe is absolutely "Guy who runs forward screaming" and "guy who grabs him, shakes him back and forth, then cuddles him until he calms down" slkdfj

(And he perma-killed her in 3rd Life which is a fun cherry on top)

EDIT - In Bdubs LimLife POV for episode 3, Cleo says she wants to ask Skizz for permission to use Team TIES mob farm, and when Bdubs questions why Skizz, she chirpily says "Skizz likes me" and honestly... That's fantastic. They're friends and they both know it.

tl;dr - A Cleo and Skizz team-up is not unreasonable and I would love it to happen. They're just extremely loyal and cuddly little guys... They are absolute rattlesnakes, your honor. Let them dance!!

My secret interaction faves <3

It makes little sense, but I feel like Skizz and Cleo should pair up for the next life series. They both have a good head on their shoulders but Skizz is just a smidge more reckless than Cleo. Both recognize danger and know better than to go charging head first, they would both need to plan ahead before they execute an attack... but Cleo would have to YANK Skizz away by the collar of his shirt to prevent him from getting too close too fast.

[riverdiculous]

More random thoughts about the episode

I love BigB interdependently coming up with a silly thing to say upon using the telescope

His ominous music whenever Scar's near will always crack me up

Wouldn't it be funny if Scar could lure Jimmy away with the promise of many treasured telescopes

I know it was just an attack of opportunity, but considering Scar was sulking a little about Mumbo abandoning him for Grian, that kill couldn't have been more perfect

I'm so here for Ren as Lizzie's very dramatic Knight

That everyone thought Ren was being attacked when really he'd set fire to his own place, lol

Tango and Skizz once again dramatically and determinedly looking at each other during the Boogeyman reveal

I've watched too many Among Us lobbies with impostor/glitch Scott, so I'm incapable of believing a single thing that comes out of his mouth in this series, lol

[skywillsometimeswrite]

Falling

This is my (incredibly on brand last minute) entry for @hermitcraftheadcanons writing contest! Info can be found here.

Funnily enough, I was going to do whatever random AU/headcanon that doing /random on their blog would give me and it gave me, no joke, one of the AUs that @target-block and I have very much fleshed out together. The RVB AU inspired by this ask!

A little background for anyone who doesn’t know about Red vs Blue I’ll explain a little context: Impulse and Doc are partner mercenaries who were ordered to start a civil war that the majority of the rest of the Hermits are stopping after being dragged into it unwillingly. If you have questions about this AU, I’ll be more than happy to answer! And for any extra references, I used this episode as a guide.

CONTENT WARNING: CURSING, GUNS, GRENADES, FACING DEATH, FREE FALLING

Read it on AO3

Impulse stared at Doc, the few steps above him, in the middle of the painfully annoying and colorful soldiers. He could feel the mechanical eye underneath the helmet boring into his soul and it took all his will power to stand up against it.

“Doc? What are you-” he gestured vaguely to the group around them, “What are you doing? You were supposed to kill them!”

“No. No more killing.”

“What?” he asked again, clenching his fists. “What about the mission-”

“You said it yourself. Fuck the mission. I’m not doing this because I was told to. I’m doing this because I want to.”

Locus’ voice made something inside him crack, some thread that he didn’t realize had been pulled taut snap. A wave of unnerving calm covered him and he slumped forward, replaying the words in his head again. 

“Alright. Then you can die with the rest of them.”

In one swift motion he grabbed his energy sword from his back, activating it and tossing it haphazardly at where Doc stood, watching him and Tango duck away from it. He kicked up the gun Doc had thrown at him and shot to his left, making the architechs scrambled away before bringing his shield up to deflect any incoming bullets from the rest of the group that had stopped his plans for so long. When Stress, Keralis, and Jevin had run away he lifted his shield back to where he assumed the first three would be shooting at him.

Bullets didn’t hit his shield, but rather something stuck to the outside of it. He watched through the blue tint as Mumbo reloaded a gun that he recognized all too well, and that made the beeping grenade on the front of his shield that much more terrifying. 

“Guess we did learn a thing or two from you mercs, huh?” Came Grian’s all too smug reply that Impulse would have retorted to were his mind not racing to find a way out of this situation. He couldn’t just put his shield down because then it would just fall and probably detonate-

“Hey, Impy. Catch.” Tango’s voice cut through his thoughts and he looked over, eyes widening as a grenade landed next to his feet.

“No, wait-”

The grenade exploded, sending him flying backwards off of the communications temple, plummeting down into the clouds and to the inevitable death below. His arms flailed in the air as panic refused to let any Into his lungs. There has to be a way out of this, there has to be a way to survive this-

Suddenly, all Impulse could see was red. A horrible mix of anger and fear mixed around inside of him. It reminded him of Doc’s eye. He clenched his fists once again at the very thought of his old partner. He managed to grab one of his knives out of his suit, throwing it upwards as if it would reach up and imbed itself into that traitor's head. Into that mechanic eye that used to give him nightmares. Into that robotic arm that could easily crush his windpipe if Doc had ever gotten tired of his voice. Into that brain of his that had been so willing to follow any and all orders until when Impulse needed him to the most.

The knife didn’t get very far before it fell right alongside Impulse.

He bit back against the wetness that was slowly trying to fill his eyes, and the tightness in his throat that burned and hurt more than the explosion that sealed his fate did. 

“I care about you, you’re my partner, my best friend. But if you’re going to keep going on like this, Impulse, I don’t want to be there when you fall.”

He closed his eyes against Skizz’s words, the last words his old friend had said to him. Traitors. Both of them are. Cowards and traitors and liars-

He coughed as he choked on a sob. Skizz should have seen this. He deserved to see this. He was supposed to keep Doc and him straight. Keep them from going overboard. If he hadn’t left them, abandoned them, then he wouldn’t be falling to his death right now. Doc wouldn’t have betrayed him. He wouldn’t have started this war, wouldn’t have ever met Scar or Tango or Xisuma or any of those idiots that collectively ruined his life. 

He stared up at the clouds that looked so far away and barely registered in his mind how close to the ground he was. He closed his eyes for a brief moment before refusing to go out like that, like a coward, like Doc would expect him to-

He ground his teeth and opened his eyes, turning to stare at the ground head on and take the brunt of the impact. If this was how he was going to die then he would do it with as much pride as he had left. It was all he had left.

Fuck you Doc. Fuck you Skizz. Fuck you Tango, Scar, Xisuma, False, Ren and all you other roaches that refused to die. 

His last thoughts were filled with malice, and he distantly hoped that it would be enough for the universe or whatever twisted god was out there to latch onto and form into a curse or whatever it did. Maybe, we wondered, he could come back in another life and finish them off with his own two hands. 

He smiled, the image sweet in his mind and he didn’t even register when his body hit the ground.

[fountainpenguin]

Scott, Gem, and Martyn Secret Life Ep 1 commentary:

"Geez Scott, why are you so creepy?" / "Everyone needs a hobby <3"

Crying at Scott booking it across the grass to break up Scar and Jimmy as fast as humanly possible and they just start huffing and grumbling.

Scott after running into Pearl, Cleo, Jimmy, and Martyn - "I've bumped into every single one of my exes already..."

slkdjf Skizz apparently cut himself saying "I just wanna cause problems" out of his own POV but Scott got it all on tape

Skizz staying within 10 blocks of Gem is even funnier from Scott's POV because he needs Gem to hold his hand while he follows Scott around a corner... The delicate balancing act of obeying Scott's come hither but also pulling Gem along.

The dead silent push in on Scott's face when he notices Gem inching her base away from his and he's dreading starting his "obnoxiously attach your base to someone else's" task over.

Impulse: "Scott, is my cottagecore-ing okay? :)" / Scott, sweating his pretty little head off as he speed-builds so Gem doesn't catch him in the act, not even turning around: "Yep- looks great!"

Gem, emotionally trudging across the map with Skizz and Scott hanging off her.

I appreciate Gem's commentary of "How much room does this man NEED??"

Gem watching Scott un-merge their bases: "Oh, thank you" / Scott: "What do you mean by that. Why is that a relief to you."

---

Impulse and Gem going over the cliff is funnier with the context that Gem's task was to convince someone to "take a leap of faith while also ensuring they take no damage."

Mental image of Gem begging Impulse to take a flying jump into the water while Impulse is grabbing her by the shoulders and trying to force her into a cherry wood boat because it's cherry wood it's amazing Gem come on slkdjf

Gem: "How much more iron do you need for a chestplate?" / Impulse, taking a moment to pretend to count: "... 8 :)"

Gem, addressing the viewers: "And Skizz follows me around for an uncomfortable period of time."

In Scott's POV, he's just watching unhappily from the distance as Gem starts taking down her wall, but in Gem's POV she actually asked him if she can move her base over and he's just like "Yeah... Yeah, you can if you want to :')" slkdfj

Underappreciated irony in Scott being the one to make a big deal about how clingy Skizz is when he's literally fusing his base's roof with Gem's

It's spawn egg-topia!!

Scott: "I'm making the executive decision to separate our cottages." slkdjf Scott recovers from being possessed by the spirit of clinginess and wakes up like "What HAPPENED last night?? What is this garbage??"

---

Holy cow Martyn dropping from 30 hearts to 12 within like 20 minutes.

lksdjf Martyn: "Let's see if there's any response in the chat to my Cover Me With Diamonds achievement :)" / Gem, Scott, and Impulse immediately triple enchant / Martyn: "Oh :'D"

??? Custom zombie spawner? Neat

He started at 30 and went down to 5.5 hearts?? Geez, dude.

It's funny because in Double Life, I didn't notice Martyn taking that much damage compared to anyone else, but I feel like now I understand why Cleo was so irritated with him lskdjf

Martyn at the start of this episode: "Ew I don't want cherry wood" / Martyn trying to complete his secret task: "Where is all the cherry wood??"

Martyn speedbuilding in panic and quiet, then Joel cracks a joke and Martyn laughs and you hear Bdubs offscreen going "You got Martyn with that one" <3

sdfklsjdf I like how Martyn's idea of copying Lizzie's house involved rushing over to hers and destroying her bed to match the fact that his copied house did not have a bed

Wheezing at Impulse being just 2 steps from pushing the success button but Martyn starts trash-talking cherry wood and Impulse immediately goes "Take that back, take that back right now!" with this guttural snarl and starts stomping towards him because he wasn't cured from his cherry wood obsession yet... Beautiful.