#was compelled to make this at 3am
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#was compelled to make this at 3am#was also compelled at 3am to post this but apparently tumblr hates me lmao#warframe
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#felt compelled to make an edit of them at 3am#am i gonna sleep at all?? idk#hoping for a glimpse of alys in the teaser 🙏#alys rivers#aemond targaryen#alysmond#aemond x alys#f&b#awoiaf#gayle rankin#ewan mitchell#they’re giving your strength breaks men’s bones i have the cunning to break their minds#edit
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gods, do I try to dig up any info on the city of Salle in Antiva or do I just make up a bunch of shit and hope no one else tries to fact check me
#did I comb through 8 Little Talons because I had a vague memory of Viago mentioning returning home to a specific city?#yeah yeah I did and he said Salle which on a map that I found of Antiva marks it as a (seemingly) port city south of Treviso#so the de Riva House is not from nor stationed in Treviso and Viago sure is just There#which does make some sense with how he treats Rook#I can't imagine he moved his House to Treviso to deal with the invasion#it'd leave his own city weaker and in danger from it's own invasion or another House trying to oust him#likely only brought enough Crows to form a menacing deterrent to the Crows in Treviso and for his own personal use as agents#and then Rook his protege his annoying half sibling half child who he seems to rely on A Lot in the game#which can either be blamed on Game Mechanics#or! Rook is one of Viago's best Crows and agents despite the absolute chaos goblin that they are#maybe he only brought a handful of people because Rook was supposed to be enough#and then he has to send them away because they fucked up and the Talons want blood at the worst time#it does make me wonder who he left in charge in Salle#is Rook being groomed to take his place or does he have someone else#someone younger but with potential#it compels me#anyways I'm drowning Salle in flowers and no one can stop me (well maybe one google search can but it's almost 3am and I ain't doing that)#really the snag is simply how much older is Viago than Rook and I settled on ~10 year difference give or take#so making Rook the next Talon is nonsense lmao#for my canon! just for me I wanted Renn to be in a similar age range as Lucanis because it squicks me otherwise#I'm chipping away at the events right before the game's opening in the fic and want Renn to be homesick for Salle and not Treviso#and then got too in the weeds about it all lmao as usual#DAV Posting
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1. Yippee!
2. My personal interpretations of a few of the details in my last post since my friends enjoyed hearing them
3. The background image comes from here. The specific one I used is labelled "Page 7 View – Voice 5 QBASS2"
https://synthroom.com/fairlight-cmi/psb-fairlight-disks/psb-lovequi/
#i know they like + rt everything that gets posted for quantink just let me have this#not art#50 is so interesting to me if i dont talk about him i die#even if he isnt technically canon. he is to ME#so interesting to think of him as the 'final failure' before 51/con succeeds and is publicly released#i like to imagine he has a markvs type scenario where he escapes whatever landfill he got dumped in#albeit perhaps in less than one piece#how many compatible parts would be laying around for a model like him?? generic stuff like oculars sure but what about inner bioparts??#anyway i find him very compelling. would he even be recognizable as an 800 after all the trawling hed have to do for pieces#sorry this became my 50 concept talking chamber#point im trying to make: thank you for enjoying my stuff and im happy it makes people happy#i looove reading the tags#also i wrote those thoughts out on discord at 3am for my friend so ignore any typos thanks ok bye bye#2nd point was difficult to word and im still not sure it gets my thoughts across correctly but eh#also on 50: why did he fail? what went wrong with his testing?#i suppose if connor is the scale would nines be the sword? hmm
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why is horror so brainrot. is it just that my brain gets consumed every time i watch something new? i feel like it's different with horror. maybe because i'm less happy about having my mind consumed like this. i didn't mind at all when i got super into sonic the hedgehog. still love those guys. but i've been watching playthroughs of slay the princess all day and i'm now regretting it. this is taking me out the way madoka magica took me out. maybe it's the philosophy? i know what brainrot feels like. i didn't really want to know what brainrot felt like. i feel like every time i acquire brainrot about something i am unhappy about it. yall are so passionate and amazing and i am suffering. whyyy. ughhhh.
#how do you get good brainrot#how do you stop acquiring bad brainrot#does the good brainrot feel bad too?#is that why we call it brainrot?#is brainrot always so. painful? consuming?#is passion a scary thing?#i love fanartists. i love looking at your art and reading fics#but are you in pain while you make it?#does it feel uncontrollable?#are you being compelled? are you obsessed? do you feel insane?#does it hurt?#maybe this is because it's 3am. maybe i need to calm down.#but god am i nervous about that. slay the princess IS horror#i typically try to avoid horror#it's so intense. not good for me#but i tend to fall into it occasionally. it's so bad#the stories are so good sometimes!! what am i supposed to do?#and now like. am i going to be able to sleep?#the weird thing is this one hasn't felt that scary for most of the time i've been watching.#but sometimes that doesn't matter. gets delayed. like fnaf. not scary while you watch but scary when you try to go to bed.#ughhhhhh this is awful. i wish i could go to sleep calmly. safely. peacefully.#i wish i could put this out of my mind#i'm worried i won't be able to#maybe typing up this post will help? maybe it'll get the thoughts out and then i'll be okay#my head hurts. i'm tire#tired. im tired.
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given its currently 3am, rereading the short stories & mourning what we lost is probably the last thing I should be doing. and yet here I am.
#Thomas is always training :( in an effort to be the best he can despite his height :(#also ari being called a fiendish reader... where was that in tlh 😭#James giving Anna a bazillion books because she ask he's so#ALSO Thomas helping Lucie with her Persian!!!#sticking all my thoughts here so I didn't feel compelled to make 27 different posts at 3am lmao#bella talks#every exquisite thing
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friend airdropped me pictures of sawashiro this morning which reminded me i wanted to ramble bout the fact the vest he wears in 2019 has a snakeskin pattern
#snap chats#firefox crashed and effectively deleted this post but fuck you im typing it again im mentally ill#but yar no as soon as i opened twitter i got a dm from him and it was free sawashiro pics#and then i rtd it and forgot i did so when i saw the post on my tl again some demon posssessed me to impulsively tuck my hair behind my ear#then i laughed aloud to myself at 6AM like a normal and well adjusted individual#even goofier when i was making this post one of my priv besties liked my tweet where i mentioned this so. signs im sawashiroposting today#OK BUT BACK ON TOPIC HI GOOD MORNING#i remember the first time i realized he wore a vest it's when i was making that sawashiro sword drawin#and just thinkin 'wow the fuck' and being cofused on what the pattern was but still thinkin it was cute yeah#well with my latest comic for some reaso i just felt compelled to look up his 2019 suit's textures#and sure i found the alligator pattern like i thought i would but i also found a snakeskin one which had me like ??#but looking at the color of it and looking at the color of his vest i was like OHHHH IT'S HIS VEST'S TEXTURE#unless me staying up to 3AM had me even more delusional than usual#anyway i already thought the vest was cute in of itself but the fact it's snakeskin.. hehe#it just make me think of arakawa 😔 is that why you got the snakeskin vest jo#you're legally disallowed from hanging out with arakawa and everyone else now cause you gotta tend to your son#travesty. tragedy even. it's a nice vest
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I read the whole dungeon meshi manga :) (said with the voice of a 7 year old who is very proud of themselves for reading an entire "chapter book.") Chilchuck is my favorite, and none of you are surprised.
I've been sitting on these drawings for a long long time. It's been hard to make time lately for maintaining my socials and posting the stuff I draw. But I really enjoyed reading the manga, and I may watch the anime if I feel compelled! Which I do a little. I'm tabling at an anime con this month, so I'm gonna speedrun illustrating a dungeon meshi print of the whole gang. Wish me luck!!
(Last couple were drawn on my phone at like 3am when I couldn't sleep.)
#dungeon meshi#dungeon delicious#chilchuck#chilchuck fanart#chilchuck tims#sketchbook#pencil art#pencil drawing#cartoon art#cartoon drawing#character art#character drawing#character illustration
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Hey girlie!
I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my pyramid scheme, join scentsy maybe🎶
LMFAO anon i love u
#🖊 ooc // i’ll probably be awake to 3am for no reason#you make a compelling argument!!#lemme give u all my life savings!
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Concept: Hunter and The Gang ™️ find the old golden guard outfit and give it a fresh new makeover
#it’s 3am and I have stuff to do#But instead i make toh fan art#excuse the poor art I’m tired and dead on the inside but I was compelled to make this#my fanart#the owl house#golden gaurd#if Graffiti is illegal…#why look cool?#toh#belos sux and I stand by that
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Maybe you answered this question before
But I still would like to ask: Why eruri? What was the reason for shipping eruri and not any other pairing?
Well. That is the million dollar question! Why did I start shipping Eruri?? Tbh, it just kind of happened. It certainly wasn’t a conscious decision on my part. I didn’t sit down and evaluate the different characters and ships and decide which one I liked best. That’s not how shipping works for me. For me, and I suspect for many people, it’s something that takes a hold of you and won’t let go. Then before you know it you’re lying awake at 3am with two fictional men having conversations in your head. I know that makes me sound completely mad, but that’s how most of my fics start.
If I was to try and rationalise it though, I think it goes back to what I said in response to the last ask. I find both Erwin and Levi really compelling well written characters. I love the fact that they both have hidden depths, that their real selves are so different from the facade they present to the world. Levi appears to be cold and violent, when in actual fact he’s deeply kind and compassionate and the emotional heart of the story. Erwin appears to be the archetypal military commander, ruthless and implacable, when in reality, he’s just as flawed and human as everyone else. Then of course there’s their relationship, and the deep bond of trust they’ve forged over many years. And of course the fact that they’re both grown men, with a wealth of life experience behind them, instantly makes them more attractive and relatable than any teenage protagonist.
Really though, when it comes down to it, there’s an inexplicable magic to shipping, that defies all rationalisation and which I can never quite put into words.
Thank you for your ask Anon ♡
PS The alternative answer is the Eruri Braincell…
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For the ask game 💕
💕 Time for a shout-out! What are some of your fav AUs from other creators in the fandom? ⭑ dca au ask game
^-^ ....OK! I shall set down all the cakes on the table for a full buffet! Get your forks & knives out! 🍽️🍽️🍽️
please don't hesitate to let me know if you'd prefer not to be @'d in the future, or to be removed from this post u_u <3 I totally respect folk's preferences!
✨ lets go! ⭑⭑⭑ ⭑⭑⭑ ⭑⭑⭑
@muzzlemouths Dead Mall Dare / DfTR AU(s) Dead Mall Dare was one of the first AUs I read (like, literally. 1-2 months ago!) & I went woooaaah they are fun removed from original context. Isn't that so neat ?? This isn't a rabbithole to fall in, tho. u_u No wayyy guys c'mon ... /j Likewise, DfTR is a treat to watch unfold & see people squirm ^-^
@r0b0-wannabe Botanical Garden AU (or just any of your stories, but I'm.. sticking to the law...s... ) Hi, I stayed up to 2-3am drawing ur boys bc Im normal about this AU & how endearing it is... obviously... (💚) I love your writing style & characterizations. Maybe this is silly, but, I also enjoy learning about plantcare, too :3
@sinister-sincerely 2nd Choice AU Oh, you are so evil. The username matches. (A COMPLIMENT!! Hehe.) Oh, you write drama, angst/no comfort, hurting/damaged characters making awful choices so well. It was wild doing a double-take to realize YOU! are the WRITER for 2nd choice!! Some day, I will get u. For now, run 💜🔪
@wyervan Human!Slasher AU :D Yay! Both the OG/Main storyline are wonderful. I find the community version very endearing as an AU-within-an-AU. (love that!) As someone who used to run RP groups (on god!) it fills my heart with joy to see people filling out a world with so much life. Your art style is delightfully grungy ^-^/
@pluck-heartstrings - Pluck My Heartstrings AU Ohhh. I am weak to fairytale/renfaire vibes, as well as the more classic harlequin jester aesthetic u_u<3 Plus, the Vocalist/Princess is just so dang compelling, too. Your design sense is impeccable.
@moon-buggg Haunted House & Mad Scientist AUs They are both so neat & I can't wait to learn more!! The Haunted House AU designs live in my head rent free along with the comics :3
@zenkaiankoku Broken but Better AU Lovely, torn-up designs! Yay, mechanical horror! Yay, angst!! And a delightful remix of their personalities, too <3
@authormeat Alienware AU ^-^ I am instantly delighted by the weird guy freak energy & that the yn IS an alien/monster. Thats all I want & more. I also love ur designs for other AUs
...
...
...... 🧍 I Have More to Say
And...And... Not.. AU specific, but 🏏💥BAM , BAM 💥🏏 LOVELY FOLKS!!!!!!
🍲 <{ @soupdweller THERE IS NO ESCAPE ok but fr.. I appreciate ya, homie :3 you are a joy to chat with!! beautiful art!! evil mind!! delicious soups. i cant wait for whatever u cook up ^-^ 🐤 <{ @luckyyyduckyyy I WILL READ UR AU STORIES!! RUN & HIDE!!! you are the goofiest goober in the wild west, by goodness. i love ur energy and the gorgeous designs u create!! 🐛 <{ @chickenchirps27 ACK I COULD STARE AT UR ART FOREVER! I'll have to start volleying over illustrators I think ya might enjoy... u are so sweet & funny!! 🐐 <{ @lurking-loaf YOU ARE SO KIND! Seriously, I appreciate the fun craft projects you recommended -& your words of support :') 🔮 <{ @anis-sketches :D HI! Happy to throw recs your way. Also, your art is adorable!! 🌿 <{ @craykaycee HI TO U TOO!! the tags u leave always make me smile, and i appreciate u stopping by to say hi... :3 & MANYMANY MORE BUT I NEED TO CUT MYSELF OFF OR ELSE
Per usual, I lost sight of the original goal. But! Consider:
🏏💥WHAM , BAM 💥🏏 GOTCHU >:)
#pom yaps#dca au ask game#ask games#💚💚💚#taking a sledgehammer & appearing in YOUR walls to say hi :D#this took a few days to type up fhgdshjgf oops
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Musician Age Gap AU Pt 13
With two back-to-back shows in Paris, with a new song added to the set list, Kara expects to largely watch Lena sleep. But somehow, the morning after the first show, Kara is woken early by movement beyond the shared door of their suites.
Upon knocking, she receives a bright "come in!" and opens the door to find Lena bustling around the room. She's dressed in leggings and spandex top, complete with brightly colored sneakers on her feet. Her face is bare of makeup, but retains the dewey vibrancy only youth can give.
"Good morning!" Lena greets, bouncing to Kara with more energy than she has any right to have. "Did you sleep well?"
"Sure," Kara returns drolly. "But not enough--- how are you even awake? We only got back at 3am!"
Lena laughs. "I've got to get a workout in before the meet and greet later." She lifts one of her earbuds in one hand, nestling its pair in her ear with the other. "Wanna join?"
"The meet and greet, or the workout?" Kara asks dubiously.
"Why not both?"
Why not both. She's here with the express purpose of supporting Lena, but now she's faced with the dilemma of deciding whether that included running. She hasn't seriously trained since she played volleyball in college... she'd probably trip over her own feet.
"Sure," she finds herself saying, before her brain can catch up. When it does, she hesitates. "Oh-- I didn't bring--"
"I've got some looser gear that should fit," Lena responds easily. She cocks a grin. "Or you can just spot me."
"Yeah... I should probably do that. I can run out and grab some gear later today. At least some sneakers."
She does take Lena up on the offer of her looser workout gear-- sweatpants that were more capris on Kara than not, and a tank top that would have sagged on Lena, but comfortably snugs against Kara's curves.
"Oooh," Lena says when she sees her. She trots over and gives Kara a peck on the lips. "I like this look."
"You speak of this to no one," Kara warns, more self conscious of her bare ankles than anything else.
"What happens in Paris, stays in Paris," Lena promises, then tilts her head towards the other room. "Come on."
Kara expects them to use whatever gym amenities the hotel offers its guests, but it turns out the suite of rooms includes its own exercise area, complete with treadmill, freeweights, and aerobic equipment.
"I prefer not to use the shared amenities downstairs," Lena explains lightly. "I don't want to hog the machines. Or disturb anyone else's workout."
Seeing Kara's curious look, Lena gives her a mysterious smile. "It'll make sense later."
Lena trains like a professional athlete. Kara is exhausted just watching, and almost an hour in, it seems like Lena is only getting started. At least, Kara reassures herself, the woman sweats like a normal human.
"What?" Lena pants as she pistol squats with a fifteen pound dumbell under her chin.
"You really like this stuff, don't you?" she asks. Watching from the weight bench, Kara can see that this isn't just a means to an end. She enjoys it.
Lena smiles. "Yeah, I do. I can't help it."
Her enthusiasm is infectious, as proven by the fact Kara is compelled to join Lena in her floor exercises. Core had always been her strong suit in college, but it's clear from her lackluster plank and crunch stamina that she's lost any and all conditioning she might have had.
Even so, instead of feeling discouraged, Lena's delighted giggle, Kara looks forward to her next attempt. The workout ends with cardio on the treadmill-- or so Kara thinks.
"I gotta put these in," she warns. "That okay?"
Kara nods. Lena's mystery smile returns for a brief moment, before the treadmill beeps on and Lena starts with a brisk walk. After five minutes Lena expertly keeps up with an increasing pace, until her sneakers are pounding out a heavy rhythm at a rate Kara can scarcely fathom. Only the most dedicated of players on Kara's volleyball team had been able to keep up that kind of pace for very long, yet there Lena is, strides long and even and surefooted.
Then the singing starts. Lena begins with a scale or two, then a few vocal warm ups. Kara recognizes the first song of Lena's setlist from the opening note, and from there can only listen in awe as Lena belts through her entire concert from start to finish.
It sounds as steady as any true performance, the notes strong and clear without any shortness of breath. It's... astounding.
When the treadmill finally slows to a walk once more, Kara comes around to rest her forearms on the rail. She looks at Lena expectantly, who is patently pleased with herself.
She shrugs with false modesty. "It's sort of my superpower."
In answer, Kara crooks a beckoning finger, prompting Lena to lean down and receive a kiss for her efforts. Lena doesn't even break stride, but she does fumble for the off button, slowing to a stop as the kiss persists, deepening.
When Lena hops off the machine, Kara has half a mind to press Lena up against it to kiss her senseless-- a temptation she fails to resist when Lena's hand slides up her shirt to run warm fingers over Kara's ribs.
"Jesus," Kara mutters, pausing for breath. "Lena, you... I don't know if I--"
"We go at your pace, darling," Lena murmurs back. "Just know that I really, really want--"
Kara swallows her next words with another, deeper kiss. Helpless to the attraction tugging under her ribs, Kara lets her fingers wander up Lena's side, until her palm cups Lena's breast. It earns her a heady moan into her mouth, and a tightening of Lena's arms around her neck, pulling her closer--
"Lena? We have two hours before the meet and greet!"
Jess' voice calls, innocent yet conspicuous behind a door that stays shut. Lena sags, the moment broken but not it's tension.
"Thank you, Jess!" she calls back, not bothering to unloop her arms from Kara's shoulders. "I'll be in the shower shortly."
Jess' footsteps pad away, but Lena doesn't resume their previous activities.
"We don't have a lot of time..." she starts conspiratorially, voice low. "Not enough to do *this* justice. But..." Her green eyes darken with desire. "Think we can make up some time by doubling up on the shower?"
Kara reaches up and grasps Lena's hand, bending to capture another kiss.
"There's only one way to find out."
They do not make up any time whatsoever.
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WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH PHEE?
(and other equally puzzling things)
An EXTREMELY EXTENSIVE Post-Episode 10 Analysis/Theory
So, okay. Episode 10 was A LOT. Like... A LOT, A LOT. And a lot of this lot seems... Weird as fuck. So many odd choices were made in the narrative.
Top's drugged manipulation; White pulling info about shrooms out of his ass; Fluke becoming a victim of involuntary drug abuse ghosts of his past and begging for mercy after "all he did to Non"... But nothing beats Phee's OOC moments in ep.10 while he's alone with Jin.
Which is what compels me to make this post. Because this series has been nothing but the richness of detail and now suddenly... It's all over the place? Call it wishful thinking (or Last Twilight trauma) but I don't think so. And it mostly comes down to: Phee. And whatever his "agenda" is.
PS: All screenshots of the show I use (and I will use a lot) will have been brightened because this show is FUCKING DARK, BOYYYYYY and I don't think y'all deserve to force your sight at 3AM to enjoy my posts.
WHAT HAPPENS AND WHY IT'S SUSPICIOUS
So? What does Phee say and do when he's alone with Jin in ep.10 and why am I suspicious of it?
It's hard to say for sure. But we can base ourselves off of 3 things: what we hear him say, what Jin replies to him and the flashbacks (no, they're not just there to fill in time for this very short episode, they serve a narrative purpose).
So let's do this analysis following the order in which things are shown to us, shall we?
First of all, we get a short flashback. The events are as follows:
Phee and New go to see the gang's film
New approaches Phee and they talk
New and Phee decide to try and figure out what happened to Non by infiltrating the group
New and Phee join the gang's school and start asking questions
Jin decides to leave Thailand
New suggests going to Por's mansion for the goodbye party
Phee questions New in the lab about his decisions
New suggests using their homemade drug on the group as a truth serum
Phee asks if the drug is deadly and New denies it
Although we don't hear Phee tell this to Jin, Jin does reply very angrily something along the lines of "and you just let him carry on with it? why didn't you stop him? what the fuck is wrong with y'all???", so we can assume we've been shown what Phee told him.
So far, it's very unsuspicious. We've been shown these events before in the actual flashbacks so we can be fairly sure all of that is true.
It starts to get suspicious, however, when Phee replies to him: "There's so much more that you don't understand. About Non, and Tan".
And I think Jin feels the vibe too because, the man standing on his tall pillar of morality and righteousness /s, says he'll give Phee another chance to cut the bullshit and tell him everything. And so Phee sighs and the dreaded narration of ✨New's Murderous Adventures✨ starts.
So Phee tells Jin (and consequently us) that:
Phee and New set up a bunch of cameras to spy on the gang
New drugged the drinks
It was supposed to end when everyone was high at the party but New didn't follow the plan
New deleted the camera files
Phee kept drugging the group
Por's injury wasn't an accident but a trap that he thinks New set
New's drug enhances people's inner fears
Phee "never thought New would be so cruel with Uncle Dang"
New drugged Top at the temple
New must've left the hard disk for White to find
By the time he figured New's plan, there was nothing he could do about it (and we see him looking distressed at New's arrival at the house)
Now, here we have some interesting things. Let me list them for you.
Why would Phee keep drugging the group after Por got hurt?? If, as he claims, he didn't mean for people to get hurt, why would he keep people on drugs while a man is dying on the couch? Especially when the guy you're on a revenge mission with is ELIMINATING THE CONTENT OF THE CAMERA RECORDINGS!! That sure isn't gonna help anyone survive!
How does Phee know about Top??? He and Jin never saw Top arrive at the house. For all they know, that bro is lost in the woods. Right??
HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW WHITE GOT THE HARD DRIVE??? There's no signal in the woods. We've established that. When White tells Tee and New about his actions they're ALONE. The only other person there is LITERALLY THE MASKY (I'm calling the masked person that for convenience, it's shorter. besides, it seems the fandom has been calling them that anyways, so... yeah). So how does he know? How does he know???
And in that same fucking sequence: THE MASKY TRIES TO HURT NEW!!! But if New told Top to hurt everyone who hurt Non, why would he hurt him??? And why, my friends, WHY would he SAVE TEE, when he's the only witness of those events??? It would be so easy to just say the masky killed Tee and he couldn't save him... Is it 4D chess??? Is it a different masky??? Or, is it simply not true that New did that?
It's very confusing, weird and suspicious. But let's wait it out, guys, because there's more to PheeJin in the temple.
After this odd-ass narration, they're back to having a convo. Which goes as follows:
Jin (very validly) asks Phee what the fuck is wrong with him and New
Phee says he'd never allow them to go if he knew New was going for murder instead of just confessions ("you can hate me if you want but I never wanted anyone to get hurt, I swear" or whatever he said)
Jin asks if Tan is New and Phee is Non's boyfriend
Phee confirms Jin's suspicions and even adds that "p'New came back from England"
Jin asks if they ever saw the group as their friends
Phee says they wanted to infiltrate the group to find the truth because they didn't know shit about what happened to Non and it's haunting them (good choice of words there, very subtle /s)
Phee explains his motivation, stating he told Non to "get lost and die"
Jin confesses to recording the child grooming revenge porn tape and posting it on Twitter (-_-)
Jin explains his motivation, saying he respected Non's relationship (by constantly making moves on him?) but couldn't stand him cheating on Phee (so he one-upped him by committing not one but two actual severe crimes?)
Phee appears to be mad and disgusted so he says "Fuck. So we both were the ones who hurt Non?", gets up and starts pacing (oh no! the big boy is angy~~~ /s)
Jin gets up like a sad wet cat
Phee randomly finds an axe and takes some exposition out of his ass by stating "this must be Tan's axe that he keeps as a spare. But it's good"
Phee breaks the gate
So by this point Phee's whole speech sounds a bit insane, considering the type of person we've seen he is. Not to mention he just INSTANTLY calms down upon finding an axe and just decides to move on. Like ??? Excuse me??? If that ain't weird then idk what is. Like, sure, Phee is a very confusing and confused character (as better explored by @crysta1ized in this post). He seems to have his heart divided between many things and they could all be pulling at his strings there. HOWEVER, we have to remember Phee's also THIS guy:
Does this look like the kind of person who would just move on after a (perceived) treason? Does he??
And, the thing about this is that it gets worse.
After the scene cuts back from the house, Pheejin are lost in the damn woods (parallels to New and Tee? mayhaps, man, mayhaps...) These are the events there:
Phee is back to supporting Jin's weight with his body while they walk (which makes no fucking sense bc Jin hurt his SHOULDER which is a part of his UPPER BODY so there's no reason why he couldn't walk on his own but okay, sure)
They make no progress walking for a while, even despite trying to mark the places they've already been at
Jin is very upset that Phee's not very good at navigating through unknown forests at night
Phee, however, is very understanding and says: "Jin. I told you that I would be the one who would protect you. So I'll get you out of here" then PROCEEDS TO HOLD HANDS with him and continues with: "Right now, our friends are waiting for us to help them. So, you must stay strong. Believe in me"
Jin nods (because, despite trying to play the apathetic bitch, he's a softie and very much has feelings™)
PheeJin finally find the exit of the fucking forest
DO Y'ALL SEE HOW SOMETHING'S VERY WRONG WITH PHEE HERE??? Bro's not just acting weird (that would be fine, we love weirdos. *looks at New and winks* <3), he's abnormal. He's not acting like himself.
So, before I jump into trying to make some sense out of all of this, I'll just add the last scene of PheeJin alone in ep.10, last anyone come tell me I missed it:
They're arriving at the mansion
Jin falls down
Phee abandons the axe to help him
I don't think this one is particularly relevant to analyse Phee's character in this episode (although the axe is certainly relevant for other plots and our dear 9th person) but it's there. After this, they're back in the house with everyone and Por's rotting corpse.
PHEE IS HIDING THINGS
So what the fuck happened, really? Well, a lot. Some are easier, I think, to interpret, some aren't but regardless, there was a lot going on with Phee. To make this very complex thing a bit easier to understand, I'll start from the things I think are a bit easier to explain and/or are more solid and then I'll move from there towards the rest of this mess. Okay? Ok- (gets shot bc I hate John Green).
One thing for me that's nearly set in stone is that Phee, at the very least, isn't telling Jin everything. If he was, then the flashbacks would've started with PheeNon's falling love montage but they don't. They start at the cinema. Plus, Jin has to ask if Phee is Non's boyfriend and Tan is New, like he's piecing things by himself. If Phee had told him that, he wouldn't need to ask. AND Phee would've have referred to New as New during his whole monologue but he did not. He kept saying "Tan". He only started doing so after Jin asked the question and he confirmed Tan was New.
Curiously enough, he also never mentions the antidote he knows exists and KNOWS New brought along. And that neither of them ever used on the others.
The million-dollar question here is then, naturally: why? Various reasons, I believe.
1st of all I think we have to account for the feels. Phee is definitely in a weird ass zone with Jin but it's something. And he feels that something (whatever it is. believe me I could make an entire post about that shit, it's so fucking complex, man, and it only gets worse this episode). He likes Jin, even if he tries not to or if he dislikes that he likes him. It's undeniable. So yes, of course, he doesn't want Jin to hate his guts more than necessary.
But also... We cannot forget why Phee himself is there: to find out what happened to Non. And what does he get out of the conversation he has with Jin? That's right. A confession.
Now, I don't think it's the confession he expected if his reactions are anything to go by:
I mean... If this is not the face of a man thinking "well, shit", then idk what it is. And also because, idk if it's a subtitle error or not, but he seems to ask "what did you three do?" when he's inquiring about the events of the past, so...
Someone is being excluded.
Still, I think it's super possible he was hoping to get something out of it. After all, even if he assumes Jin is innocent in his actions, I don't think he's excluding him from having knowledge of what went down. That would make his positive bias even sillier.
So yeah, sure, I bet Phee feels genuinely guilty and it hurts him to be in the situation he's in and he definitely wants to be in a good place in terms of his relationship with Jin, especially because, as he said, he doesn't know if they can get out of the temple. But also... As Ta (Phee's actor) himself said in an interview: Phee can be really manipulative (I can't find the damn interview rn but, during my search, I found @raelle-writing had also mentioned it in this post, so I think it's enough to say I didn't dream that shit). You know... 2 things can be true at once.
Which brings me to the next part:
PHEE IS LYING
That whole talk of "I never thought he would hurt you", "if I had known I wouldn't have let you come", blah, blah, blah. That's some major BULLSHIT.
Phee knew exactly what New was capable of. At least, on a subconscious level. After all, if my friends started being murdered, my 1st assumption would not be that my best friend did it. Unless, of course, my best friend was spiralling down to madness, constantly using drugs to see his dead brother and answering shit like this:
With a smirk on, when I ask him if the absynthe is gonna kill our friends. Because yeah, sure, I guess the green won't kill them. But you can't tell me this motherfucker wouldn't. He definitely would. And if we can infer that, so does Phee, who has been living with him as his close friend for the last 3 years.
In fact, the very fact that he feels the need to ask whether or not the drugs will kill the gang is proof enough that he, to some extent and, whether or not he's aware of it, KNOWS that's, at least, a possibility. Knows that's something New would do.
So yeah, he's perhaps not just lying to Jin (but also to himself) or not intentionally lying, but he's lying nevertheless. Phee knew this was a possibility. He knew New was capable of stuff like that. And when he pieces the story together, that's him admitting, even if no one realizes, that he knew it. And that he let it happen, in fact, because he never tried to stop the drugging. Or talked to New about what was going on (you'd think if he had that he would've told Jin in that situation). His biggest weapon is his knowledge and he chose not to swing the sword sooner. How very Fluke of him, isn't it? Especially because now 2 people are dead and that's on New, right? Right???
Not necessarily.
NEW IS NOT A MURDERER (initially)
You see, for all we see New is fine with death and murder in episodes 9 and 10, he makes it clear his nº1 goal is to figure out what happened to Non when he gets in front of a fucking firearm to harass Tee into talking.
So why would he talk Top into murder? Why would Top attack him?? Why would he kill Uncle Dang?? And why, on the goddamn Earth, would he eliminate the recordings in the house when his whole motivation is
(Thank you, hallucination Non <3) to expose them??? Especially when the only other person who knew about the hidden cameras was Phee. It makes no sense! Sure, he might've contemplated the murder, but on a later phase of the plan, I think. The priority was, always, to get them to confess on camera so he could later use the recordings to expose them to the country and clear Non's image. 'Cause we cannot forget, while the people close to Non don't buy the bullshit TV news sensationalist story (and, therefore, are searching for the truth), the rest of the country thinks Non is a slut who ran away with mafia money and his teacher (because, like @delululover explains in this post: Asian culture tends to normalize grooming of older teens and even blame them for the situation).
So what are we seeing when Phee narrates the events? Well, probably just Phee's guesses.
He thinks New is deranged and has drugs and that Top is missing and now they're being attacked by this person, who is conveniently wearing a mask. So he guesses that's Top. Plus, he doesn't know New was attacked by Masky in the middle of the forest.
He knows, like everyone else, that New had the hard drive. And, when Top and New go out in the woods with the bike he remains in the house. So, it's possible he saw the hard drive there where New left it before he went out.
And, because the only 2 people remaining in the house, as far as Phee knows, are Fluke and White, and New DEFINITELY wouldn't want the drive to get into Fluke's hands, he must've assumed New wanted White to find it (which may or may not be true but it's irrelevant, I think).
And, yes, calm down, I can hear you scream: "But how did he know White watched the video???" And the answer I bring you is very simple: he didn't. He has no idea. And the best part is: you only think he knows because you know. But Phee never says that. He says New left the hard drive there for White to find. And that's it. He never mentions a video whatsoever.
Now, is it convoluted? Yes. Absolutely. But we have to think this is Phee we're talking about. He's the guy who always thinks he has the upper hand (a.k.a thinking he can save Non or that he's not falling in Love with Jin). It's almost impossible for him to think he's in the dark as to what is happening to them. After all, in his narrative of his life, he is the hero. And, I know, lots of people in the fandom see it that way as well, so... It's not impossible to imagine that's what the story is trying to sell us. It's trying to make us believe Phee knows. When in reality, I think, it's more likely that Phee's the embodiment of this meme:
Okay. But then if New didn't do it, then who did? Because something is obviously going on with Top, right? And Uncle Dang IS very much dead. So what the fuck is that all about?
THE SECRET 9TH PERSON? ENTITY? THING?
As discussed several times by several people in this fandom, there's a very high possibility that there's someone else with them in the woods.
@blmpff points out the existence of various versions of the mask here. @subtextsays points out the crutches in the bathroom scene with Top here. There's this shit:
Whatever it fucking means (besides the fact that it gives me the hibbie jibbies). Someone is also obviously taking care of the Janta cult because there's fresh food in the offerings.
@raelle-writing also points out here that New is also seeing stuff even though our favourite insane motherfucker has got (and has been using!) the antidote.
And, as of episode 10, as @babyangelsky pointed out in this post, when PheeJin are lost in the damn woods, the cuts on the wood Phee supposedly make keep changing.
Which makes both of us question if they're all the same cut or even all done by Phee.
So, I think this is enough to speculate Phee could very much just be misinterpreting the whole thing and attributing guilt to New when, in fact, someone else has been causing the deaths.
Now you may question who and that's all very fair. You should even. But that is not what this post is about and, frankly, thank god, because this is already a monstrous creation.
So let's pick these cuts in the wood and use it as a segway to the last part of this, shall we?
PHEE IS AS BENEVOLENT AS A GREEK GOD
So Phee's mad. Super mad. He's passing around and cursing.
Jin, the only person he probably genuinely thought didn't do anything, is the one who recorded and posted the video.
And then Phee finds an axe. And, suddenly, Phee changes. Why?
Well, we have to look at it with what urges Phee to talk in the first place (besides his feelings and his wants): Phee is losing hope. He states it himself that he doesn't think they're going to be able to get out of the temple. So, he talks. Sure, he doesn't say everything but it's the closest to being honest with Jin we've ever seen him be.
And then their whole reality changes. Because Phee found an axe. And it all comes down on him: they are going to get out of there. And what now?
As @yellingaboutkp states in this post Phee is not only hard to read for us or confusing to the other characters (Jin mainly). He's also hard to read and confusing to himself: "...is Phee still playing Jin? It seems like he's trying to, but the more time he spends with Jin, the harder it's getting to stick to the plan."
Thus, what we see at the end of their time in the temple and alone in the woods is a mix of things, I believe.
Phee needs to feel like he's in control again. And with the original plan being ruined and Jin knowing too much (and there's no way he's not gonna speak, in fact, it's the very first thing he does when they arrive at he house) he's simply not. So when he tells Jin everything is gonna be alright, he's also trying to tell that to himself. He's trying to reassure himself that they're gonna get out of that huge mess. And, perhaps, in saving Jin also finding some redemption because, according to his own narration of the events, he let New go too far (as Jin points out).
Phee also knows more now. And maybe, if he was able to get Jin to speak once, without even having to force anything out of him. who knows if he cannot do it a second time in front of the cameras they've set inside the house? So he's trying to follow the script and manipulate him into trusting him, like he always has been trying to do. Except this time he's more bitter about it. And this, alongside with reason 1, is why these two scenes feel so different:
And lastly: Phee knows the catastrophic effects his words and actions had on Non when they broke up. He knows the consequences of his rage. It's the entire reason why he's there. Because he failed at being a good boyfriend the 1st time. Does he really want that to happen again? Does he want to fail Jin too? There's a reason (besides the story itself and his need to justify himself to Jin) why we see that flashback of his break-up with Non in this episode. And I believe this is it. (so yeah, I understand it might be frustrating to see Phee be more benevolent to Jin who fucked up big time than Non who didn't do anything, it is EXACTLY because he wasn't benevolent to Non that Jin is getting princess treatment)
So, in conclusion: Phee is fucking confused. And it carries on being that way for the rest of the episode. Phee calls New out but he doesn't seem to care too much about Por being dead on the couch. He helps Jin on the ground, but he doesn't say a thing about Fluke pointing a gun at Tee. Sure, he does ask for the gun at a certain point but isn't that just more of Phee's desperate need to get control back?
And we see this all come down to the preview of the next episode and what it's probably going to mean:
Phee finally has got things under his control again. But this means, surprise, surprise, that Phee's gotta make a choice: to shoot (and stand on New's side) or not to shoot (and stand on the gang's side). Which, of course, metaphorically is a choice, in good romance and BL fashion, between 2 lovers: Non and Jin. But also, in good storytelling, as, once again, @raelle-writing (can't help myself, Rae's posts are FIRE 🔥🔥 sksksksksks) explores better in this post: a choice between the past and the present; continuing to drown in grief and a wish for revenge or choosing to move on and heal.
And, as I (YES, if I'm gonna tag a bunch of people and their works, YOU BET, I'm gonna link my own stuff) explore in this post about White's identity and role in the story (and other people in the fandom have commented as well), I'm inclined to believe he's gonna pick the gang, Jin, the present, healing. Because this is a story about the damage caused by cycles of violence and grief. And a story about how, the only way to stop them, is to choose not to participate in them by letting go.
(and also because we already have characters who represent different choices like Non, who was always stuck in the future because he kept getting deeper and deeper into shit, thinking tomorrow would be better; or New, who is very obviously stuck in the past, unable to let go of the things he didn't do, the things he didn't prevent and only ends up losing more and more as a consequence)
CONCLUSION
Thank you for your time and attention. Feel free to comment and discuss this with me. And I'll see you either on my next long-ass monologue or next Saturday as we watch episode 11!
All the love 💜💜💜
PS: Shout-out to the group chat, including, but not limited to: @ayansbff, @cyberstalking and @squishysquadstuff who have listened to me ranting about this post since Saturday and told me to eat when I was too focused on writing it. Your patience was fundamental in carrying me through this monstrous project (it took me 10 hours to write all this) 💜💜💜.
#dff#dff the series#dead friend forever#dead friend forever the series#dff spoilers#dff meta#dead friend forever meta#dff the series meta#dff theory#dead friend forever theory#dff the series theory#dff episode 10#dff the series episode 10#dead friend forever episode 10#dff ep10#dff the series ep10#dead friend forever ep10#phee dff#phee dff the series#phee dead friend forever#dff phee#dff the series phee#dead friend forever phee#pheejin
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hello hi, i had never read anything for timkon before ever in my life until i stumbled across art for bbts that intrigued me and then i promptly read the whole thing in a night (and ruined my sleep schedule). you are a genius and your writing is masterful. take your time with the next update because i know a story like this takes a lot of effort and dedication and it will most certainly be worth a wait <3 but meanwhile, i wanted to ask if you have any timkon fic recs since i am now incredibly invested in these two (when/if you have a spare moment :)
hello! absolutely love to hear this, welcome to timkon 😌🙏
i do have some timkon recs!! here’s a previous list of some of my favs, and i’ll also add a few recent reads on top of that:
🗞️ The Plan by Hayleythewriter
in which conner kent fake-dates superboy, and ends up real-dating tim in the process. like all of @hearteyeshayley’s fics, the plot is snappy and fun with the best kind of mad genius weirdo tim characterization. the timkon dynamic is sweet and hilarious, and i especially love kon’s relationship with the kents here (there’s a line of dialogue from jon that made me laugh out loud at 3am). alsoooo the restaurant scene is, to me, peak timkon. go forth and enjoy the good food here.
💸 call me cute and feed me sugar by suzukiblu (wip)
last month an anon with very good taste recommended another one of this author’s fics to me, and in the process of looking for it i ended up reading this first and it is a delight. in superboy’s early-ish days, tim notices that kon doesn’t have a real support system yet/is still dependent on cadmus for room and board, and tim sets out to fix that in the most convoluted tim way possible. premise is hilarious and so is the fic, and it’s also sweet and emotional and has enough subtle angst to keep me on the hook too. fav line so far: “Tim thinks taking care of someone for the entire rest of their life is perfectly romantic, actually, but fine, he'll buy some damn aquarium tickets and then do the bank fraud.”
🧟 Young Justice: A Little Help From My Friends by Hayleythewriter (wip)
this one is weighted more evenly on the tim & kon & cassie & bart ensemble, and it’s incredibly fun so far. it’s a retake on young justice’s rocky road toward being a functional team—and, more importantly, friends—with some very compelling slow-burn timkon in which kon does not like robin at first (for some understandable reasons from his pov) and tim’s dreams of having instant superhero bffs like nightwing are crashing and burning around him. there are some tim pangs scattered throughout that are 🤌 very much to my taste 🤌 and i adore how messy and real all four characters are in this. (the emoji choice will make sense after reading, i swear.)
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📚 Fanfic Classics Series: The Lettered Special (Part One)
Some covers for @letteredlettered's beautiful fics, which have kept me company over the years. The Drarry fandom is extremely blessed to have so many talented writers and to me lettered's fics are foundational texts. I've had a number of these already saved and when I started making ebook covers for my Kindle I knew I had to make covers for these. Life-changing!!!!! I know I use the term "life-changing" often whenever I recommend fics, but it is what it is. Please, it is 3AM. Read (or re-read) these masterpieces and thank me later.
Away Childish Things Harry gets de-aged. Malfoy has to help him.
Friends at Last This can be considered the sex extra from Away Childish Things, if you like, but you don't have to have read that to enjoy this. It's porn.
He Who Must Not Be Normal Potter has fame and fortune and posh clothes and all he wants is a simple life. Draco has a flat and a cat and a steady job and all he wants is a complicated life. Which makes you think this story has something exciting like body-swapping, but it doesn’t. Instead it has Indian takeaway and a blue jumper and people wanting a whole lot of what they can’t have, discovering themselves as they discover each other.
Hope Springs Eternal (But Love Springs in the Forest, Unannounced) Draco falls into a love spring. Harry saves him! And now they’re bonded for life. Draco is horrified. Harry thinks it’s kind of neat.
By the Grace Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.
art credits + comments under the cut :)
Artworks used, in order:
“L'Atre (The Hearth)” by Édouard Vuillard (1899)
"The Open Door" by Edouard Vuillard (1900-04) 💬 Away Childish Things is one of the first fic covers I made, ever. I've reread this fic often, mostly because Harry deserved a better childhood for real!! This is, like, THE kid fic ever. Seriously. I enjoy making covers for fic series because it means I get to do matching covers by the same artist (thank you sir Vuillard). I chose the first piece because it fit the visual mood of the first fic: kind of dreary, but still warm (Draco's lab, baby Harry and his terrible childhood). I also remember some adventures involving Floo powder here :) Honestly, I think Harry and Draco were lonely in their own way before the de-aging incident happened, and both Harry and Draco (in their older and younger counterparts) needed one another. It's so special to me that they were able to meet each other where the other person was without romance involved — they weren't even friends at the start but they still managed to meet each other halfway... For Friends At Last I wanted to choose a painting with a brighter mood because hello, resolution. They're friends at last (okay, title drop)! They have communicated and [insert ACT ending here because no spoilers]! They.... have sex! The same style of chair being featured in both paintings is a happy coincidence. Perhaps Sir Vuillard had an inkling that one day his artwork would be used to make ebook covers. IDK.
"Still Life" by Pablo Picasso (1918) 💬 I was thinking of Draco's apartment here. He Who Must Not Be Normal is a dynamic I can't get out of my head (and it was published in 2013!!!). Basically, all of lettered's works are so compelling. I could be wrong (I wasn't really an active participant in the fandom until this year haha), but I swear I can see lettered's influence on other fics in the fandom...
"Schizonema Dillwynii" by Anna Atkins (1853) 💬 This is actually a cyanotype of a plant LOL but it reminded me of a spring. Sometimes the process is that literal. Anyway, this fic... It kind of set the bar for magical bond fics for me??? I still can't describe why or how. But please read it if you haven't yet!!
"The Lone Tree" by Caspar David Friedrich (1822) 💬 Because of Timothy Tree... I couldn't find a good tree artwork that perfectly got the vibe (in the public domain, at least) but I like this one too.
#by the way if any of you actually read fics bc of me (i hope u are showing the authors love) CAN YALL LET ME KNOW im trying to see something#(also we can gush about the fics together)#it's 3AM forgive my incoherence. i will elaborate on why i love these fics another time!!!#fanfic covers#book covers#drarry fanfic#hpdm#fanfic book covers#drarry book covers#harry x draco#drarry fic recs#hpdm fics#lettered#public domain art#kiss my covers#kiss with a list
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