#wants to be sure its 'not a muscle problem' which i understand but i think hes putting off anything w radiation

[lokh]

I think it’s muscle tension, for me, my blood pressure and rate is fine. I had it for i dunno, 3 months? It also felt like I couldnt breathe deep enough. And again another time for a couple of months, which felt even more muscular than the time b4, stabbing pain when I laid on that side for a month, that one started at a social event completely out of nowhere so couldn't have been pulled by anything other than internal tension. I think spending so long researching what it could be, and trying to Make it go away made it much worse because ofc…it was giving me anxiety which made it hurt which made me anxious. I can’t tell you what made it go away, I think seeing a doctor to be like. You’re fine. Was good. But after that trying to accept it and idk, telling my body to do it worst instead of trying to fight it and being scared of it getting worse. I still get it now but usually only for a few days. I also try to get my heart rate up once a day by like. Jumping or running etc. which kinda helps get rid of the anxiety that I feel like…builds up without my awareness.

hmmm interesting... im glad that its lessened for you at least!

[dcdreamblog]

What are your opinions on the Justice League International? They were a controversial time for the League for sure, a lot of news outlets around here, red state, you understand, called them a 'joke' and 'an embarrassment on the good name of the League,' but they were heroes, if you ask me.

Any red state dipshit who wanted to say that about the JLI would have to then meet me in the parking lot after I smacked my work gloves across his face.

(The most iconic image of the JLI, the day they received their official charter from the United Nations. TIME Magazine.)

The "Justice League Detroit" (A name I put in quotes because it IS meant to be pejorative in its original context, though the surviving members of that team wear it with pride ) had disbanded after a violent clash with Anthony Ivo left several of its members dead around the same time that G Gordon Godfrey was first able to whip up a popular discontent around superheroes.

This, of course, lead to the famous "Battle of the Lincoln Memorial" where a group of heroes defeated Godfrey and stymied the plans of his ultimate master, Darkseid. Bringing together a new team with the realization the world always needed a Justice League.

The team would handle various crises until the came into the interest of billionaire philanthropist Maxwell Lord who approached them with an idea: Seek official UN sanction, granting greater resources in exchange for government oversight. This period is when the most iconic lineup joined the team more or less, including the American mandated Captain Atom, his Russian counterpart Rocket Red with personable duo Blue Beetle and Booster Gold.

The First thing that caused an international backlash was the WAY the UN sanction was secured, namely that it was a TRANSFER of the Global Guardians' sanction to the League which was WIDELY unpopular in the majority of the world, especially among the Nonaligned Nations. The Global Guardians were and are deeply respected in the areas where they are active and cutting them out in order to replace them with a line up of the Justice League was seen by many smaller nations as America muscling in on the international stage.

This international outcry was somewhat quieted by the addition of popular Brazilian and Norwegian heroines Fire and Ice to the group and the mandated acceptance of Russia's Rocket Red. Though concerns remained that its claim to an international organization was hollow due to its majority American membership in contrast to the truly global commitment of the Global Guardians, worries I sympathize and agree with to a degree.

The OTHER "problem" many had with the team was with its general bearing and membership. The League was at that time, and still often is, thought of in terms of "The Seven", its most famous and prominent members with other heroes playing a peripheral role in the eyes of the public. With Batman very swiftly bowing out once media attention glued itself to the team, the only member of that chosen few that remained was the Martian Manhunter who is often disregarded by a certain...kind of observer. This lead to a perception that the JLI wasn't the "real" Justice League despite the total confidence placed in the JLI by personages like Superman or Wonder Woman.

It also got itself involved in rather less serious matters and conducted itself in a sometimes less than proud manner, mostly due to the public debacles that Blue Beetle and Booster Gold became wrapped up in. But I've already made a post about my thoughts on both men and why I think both are deserving of respect.

My evidence is as it shall ever be.

If you are slightly older than me you probably clearly remember when an alien alliance lead by a race calling themselves THE DOMINATORS tried to conquer the Earth via military force of arms. Which team was at the forefront of the counter attack that saved all our lives? The JLI.

Who stopped the illegal Bialyan junta under "Queen Bee" from gaining a superweapon? The JLI.

Who pushed back the intergalactic despot Despero to such a degree that he STILL thinks that these are Earth's greatest champions? The JLI. I would dare ANYONE who would like to question their legacy to stand in their shoes and still see if their big mouth avails them.

[just-a-creep-babe]

A Demon’s Ache — Part 20

Eyeless Jack x Reader

A Demon's Ache Masterlist

Commissioned by @cookiereblogss — thank you so so much for your whole support throughout this entire series! It genuinely wouldn’t be here without you, and I appreciate it so much 💓💗💖

Requests are closed but commissions are open!

Masterlist: x

Pain

Before he can even begin to understand where he is, all he can register is pain

His body’s numb with it

A groan escapes him

Blood pounds in his eardrums

It feels like his head’s being split open from the inside—he can’t remember the last time he had such a bad migraine

He reaches up to press his hands to his head, as if doing so could alleviate his headache, and the movement is accompanied by the sound of metal clanging against metal

He pauses, his body stiffening as he realizes there's a weight around his wrists

He’s chained down to something

With a disgruntled sound, he forces his attention to his surroundings

The first thing he notices is that he’s in some sort of basement, with dark wood-paneled walls and bare stone floors

He’s not wearing his mask, his face uncomfortably exposed for anyone to see, but that’s the least of his problems right now

He's kneeling, chained to the wall, he realizes, in front of both you and The Operator

Worry laces your features

The scent of your stress and fear permeates the otherwise stale, dead air

Panic infiltrates Jack's system as things start to click into place

What happened?

He tries to think back to the last thing he remembers; something about running through the forest, something about wanting to kill

But the more he tries to remember, the louder that dull pounding in his head grows, and he realizes he just can't concentrate properly

Not right now, anyway, not like this

He tries to shake the discomfort off, and then, feeling awkward just kneeling there in front of the both of you, he stands

Or, at least, he tries to stand, but his legs are shaky and unstable, like he recently over-exerted himself, and his muscles are too stiff to function properly, so he gives up, and simply stays on the dirty floor

“Jack…” you say his name, then hesitate, like you’re scared or uncertain about something

It breaks his heart

He wants to reach out and comfort you

Before anything else—before even figuring out what happened and why he’s here—he just wants to make sure you’re ok

Jack Nyras

He flinches at the sound of his name, his real, full name, echoed in his mind by The Operator's rumbling hiss

He can't remember the last time he heard that name—it feels like lifetimes ago

He'd almost forgotten it entirely, and, in all honesty, he would've preferred to keep it that way

You have violated the laws of the Safe House

Static fills his mind, growing in intensity with every word

What is your defense?

Defense?

He can hardly remember what happened, and now he's supposed to defend himself?

He tries to concentrate again, tries to think through the noise crowding his head

He remembers making it to a cabin—the proxies' cabin?

He remembers wood splintering and glass shattering, and then there was something about a fight, something about squeezing someone's neck between his hands, feeling pleasure as their life slowly drained away

He shivers, repressing the memory

What is your defense?

The question is repeated, louder this time, noticeably less forgiving and more commanding

"I-I don't know," Jack admits out loud, "I don't have one"

You are aware of the consequences of violating the laws of the Safe House

Even though it isn't a question, it's phrased as though The Operator expects an answer

And so, with a nod, Jack complies

"I am"

The faceless monster tilts its head to the side, the motion, of which, might’ve been unnerving if Jack hadn’t grown so used to it

Do you accept the consequences?

The hybrid furrows his brows

The biggest rule of the mansion was to never intentionally harm another resident

The punishments ranged in severity depending on circumstance, but Jack definitely had the intention to kill—and to kill one of Slender’s beloved proxies, nonetheless

Having him ask if he accepted the consequences could only mean one thing; he was about to face expulsion

How could he just accept that?

He looks up at you, at your fear, at your nervousness and confusion and uncertainty

What about her? Why did you drag her down to see this?

He doesn't say it out loud, but he directs his question to the eldritch being

Her presence is for her own benefit, seeing as her fate is tied to yours

It takes him a moment to register the low timber pervading his mind

And, at first, he almost thinks he didn't understand correctly

"What do you mean?"

He asks the question slowly, carefully, keeping his voice low as if to contain the mix of emotions threatening to surface

He doesn't look away from you as he asks, either—he can't

He wants to see your reaction, wants to know what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling

Part of him is also curious to see if you understand what they're talking about, based solely on his side of the conversation

Or maybe you’re having your own internal discussion with The Operator at the same time

But then he notices the obvious confusion and burning curiosity stirring alongside your fear, and he realizes you really don’t know

She has become inherently tied to you; she will share your decided fate, it repeats

"What? Why? That doesn't make any sense," he jerks in his chains; a futile attempt to free himself

She didn't do anything wrong

He adds in that last part in his head because he doesn’t want you to know what they're talking about

Part of him still insists on sheltering you from as much of this mess as possible

It is simply how things must come to pass

The Operator expresses it with such an air of indifference that it makes Jack's blood boil

"I refuse," Jack hisses

After everything he's done, everything he did to you—he can't be the reason you're expelled

He's caused enough disorder in your life as is

You have no choice, The Operator answers simply

"Give me the choice," Jack insists, a snarl accidentally rippling out of him as his anger bubbles out

And it isn't like him at all to succumb to his anger so easily; he usually prides himself on his ability to remain calm and collected, even in tense situations

But it’s like this whole thing is just grating on his nerves at this point

And it’s even worse since you’re involved in this, too

And that's when it suddenly clicks that this must be one of the many effects of the mark

You have no choice, The Operator repeats, and as the voice fills his head, so does an overwhelming wave of static

Jack chokes back another snarl

His muscles tense, and he grits his teeth, trying to bear the pain threatening to split his head open again

"S-stop—don't hurt him!"

Hearing you cry out for him, he looks up, right as another surge of agony knocks the breath out of him

It's dizzying

The pain pushes and presses up against his skull, like his head's suddenly way, way too crowded and it's on the verge of bursting

Once it's filled his mind, left with no other space to invade, it travels down his nervous system like a flash of electricity, burning every single nerve ending along the way

It's excruciating

The intensity drowns out everything in his surroundings

Somewhere at the back of his mind, he hears you crying out again, but he can't make out the words over the shrill ringing in his ears

He sees you trying to reach for him, sees The Operator's tendrils appear out of nowhere to wrap around you, to hold you back from helping him

Jack hisses out through gritted teeth

His chest heaves with labored breaths as he’s violated from the inside-out

Something cold licks up his thoughts, and then all at once, his memories are forced to surface

Every interaction, every intimate moment shared between the two of you is brought up and laid bare for The Operator to pick through

The steamy exchanges, the longing, the private glances, the first kiss—all of the back and forth, the tangle of emotions and miscommunications that'd been treasured in his memories is yanked from the privacy he'd previously taken for granted

No, no, no—stop—stop doing this—make it stop

Even through the burning pain, the words repeat themselves over and over in his head—as if merely thinking it could stop him

He'd rather be tortured than forced to expose everything like this

It’s beyond violating—he’s tarnishing the intimacy of the memories by being so rough and cruel with them

He doesn’t know how long it lasts—it feels like a short, endless eternity

And then, before he knows it, it’s all over

The agony subsides like it was never there to begin with, and he's left dizzy and nauseous, and torn between wanting to cry and wanting to kill the damn bastard with his bare hands

When he looks up at you, an apology hangs at the tip of his tongue, but he doesn't have time to express it as he notices the fear in your eyes, now more intense than ever, as The Operator's tentacles twist and writhe around your form

One quick snap would be all it takes to kill you

He lurches forward, about to plead, about to say anything to save you, when you open your mouth and speak

"I- I don't know," you say, and he realizes The Operator's in your mind now, having a conversation about God-knows-what

He wants to interrupt, wants to beg him not to hurt you, but at the same time, he's scared doing just that will jeopardize your safety

You chew at your lip, looking at Jack with uncertainty clear on your features

"It's-it's complicated—please, just, don't—"

You cut yourself off with a wince, and when you squirm in Slender’s hold, the tendrils tighten even further around you like he's planning on suffocating you

Jack holds his breath

He doesn't know whether or not he should say something

He's never felt so helpless

You wince again, squeezing your eyes shut

"Yes," you answer, and Jack's just about dying to know the context of the exchange

The following seconds trickling are unbearably slow and agonizing

Your eyes keep darting back and forth uncertainly, looking at him, looking at Slender, then back to him with your brows furrowed in contemplation

Just free her, he pleads internally, just let her go and I won't cause any more trouble

But almost immediately as he thinks it, your breath catches in your throat with a gasp

“N-no—don’t,” he tries to beg, knowing what’s coming, but as soon as he opens his mouth, you scream

Pain contorts your features, your body going rigid before you twist and jerk to try to free yourself

God, he can’t stand it

He can’t stand the sound of your pain, the sight of your visceral gut-wrenching agony

"Stop, stop! Make it stop—I'll do anything!"

Pleas falling on deaf ears, he snarls, jerking forward only to have the chains snap him back into place

Your screaming overrides his humanity—whatever was left of his rational mind evaporates and leaves behind his baser instincts

It turns him into a monster

He doesn’t hear himself snarling and growling over your pained cries

He doesn’t hear the chains groaning in protest, doesn’t register the feeling of them bending with strain as he pulls against them with all of his force

He just needs to make it stop

The metal creaks unpleasantly as he gains an inch, and then another one after that

The fixture restraining him to the wall goes taut, and then, all at once, it finally snaps off

The tentacles disappear as he rushes toward you

He wraps his arms around you, pressing you close to his chest, as if the less distance there is between the both of you, the better he can protect you

The last thing he thinks is that he'd die for you, and then everything goes dark

He wakes up sore and disoriented, which seems to be a recurring theme as of late

Except, this time, instead of being in some shady basement, he's... outside, in the forest

Sun peaks through the canopy of the trees, dappling the grass in bright patches of warmth

With a groan, Jack sits upright

His mask is staring up at him from a bed of wildflowers

He picks it up, fixes it over his face, and looks around

He doesn't immediately recognize this part of the forest, which would worry him—if a more intense kind of panic didn't immediately seize his chest at the realization that you're not anywhere around

He wastes no time standing up, ignoring the protest of his aching muscles, and moving in the direction of the sun

But he only makes it maybe 20 minutes or so when he feels a presence behind him

He tenses, knowing it could only be one person

And, surely enough, when he turns around, he finds Slender facing him expectantly

"Where is she?"

He wastes no time asking the question

Fuck everything else, he just needs to know you're ok

(Y/n) has made a bargain, it informs, and it sets Jack on edge even more so than he already was

She has 24 hours to decide, among other things, whether or not she is willing to become your mate

Jack's throat tightens

Failure to accept, or failure to decide, will result in both of you being expelled from the Safe House

He’s condemned you, Jack thinks, much to his horror; because of this mess he’s created, he’s inadvertently forcing you to either live a life you don’t want, or lose the one you currently cherish so deeply

It's all his fault

Nausea like bile rises in his throat

“Is there… is there any other way around this?” he insists, “Can't you just expel me, and leave her out of this? She didn’t do anything to deserve punishment—she didn't break any rules”

The Operator tilts his head to the side

The mere notion that a compromise is being permitted is an exception not permitted to most. There is no other way

“What about—“ he tries again, balling his fists at his side as he refuses to accept things, “what about if—if things don't pan out," he takes a deep breath, knowing it's a plausible reality, "and we're both kicked out—if we sort things outside of the mansion, and come to some kind of peaceful agreement or understanding together—could she still be allowed in?”

A tense second passes as The Operator considers his question

If, it clarifies, you and (y/n) come to an agreement that guarantees you will not be jeopardizing the sanctuary of the Safe House, I may consider her re-admittance based on a very strictly defined set of terms

The burden on his shoulders lightens somewhat

It isn’t much, but it’s something—something he can cling to if nothing else works

Some kind of hope

You are to remain here until the decision is taken, or the time otherwise reaches its end

And, just like that, he vanishes

For the rest of the morning—or, at least, what he assumes to be morning, based on the position of the sun—Jack wanders aimlessly through the forest

He thinks about the past few hours, how quickly everything spiraled, how it's all his fault

He doesn't know how you could ever manage to forgive him—much less accept being his mate

He runs through hundreds of scenarios in his head, trying to figure out the best course of action that would guarantee you keep your spot at the mansion

Jack's not an idiot; he's always known Slender's had an eye on him, so to speak

Maybe he could strike up his own bargain; becoming a proxy in exchange for your guaranteed residence at the mansion

He'll sell his soul to the devil for you, if he has to

Time trickles by slowly, painfully so

He doesn't know what to do with himself, so he just overthinks, and overthinks, and overthinks some more after that

The sun crests over the midway point in the sky, dips down a few inches, and still, no word from Slender

He sits, leaning his back against a tree, and tries to relax, tries to fall asleep or something to pass the time—but it, of course, is impossible to do so

He digs his fingers into the soft dirt

He feels the earth give way beneath his nails, and it reminds him of the feeling of tearing organs from a body

He pulls out a patch of grass, sprinkles it around him, repeats the motion

He’s ripped out maybe half a dozen handfuls when he feels that presence in front of him again

He looks up, and sees The Operator looking down at him

You are free to return to the mansion

It’s all he says before disappearing

The demon’s heart leaps up his throat

He stands, and starts making his way toward what he can only guess to be the mansion’s general direction

He doesn’t know why the damn bastard couldn’t have just teleported him there, or why he was forced to wait in this forest, but none of that matters right now

All that matters is he has the chance to see you again, to make sure you’re ok

It takes him longer than he would’ve liked to make it, but a few hours into his trek, he spots that familiar shape of the large building just up ahead

He picks up the pace, nearly jogging the rest of the way

He doesn’t wait a moment longer to make it to your room

As soon as he reaches it and makes it to your room, he notices that your door’s wide open, but you’re not inside

He takes in a slow, steadying breath

His room

He should check his own room; maybe you figured it’d be better to meet him there

After everything that’s been said and done, even despite Slender’s verdict, he doesn’t want to get his hopes crushed

Which is why he keeps his expectations exceptionally low as he beelines it to his room

And after everything that’s happened up until this point, it almost doesn’t even feel real when he sees you there; curled up in his bed, your eyes closed and your breathing slow and steady with his pillow hugged to your chest

He walks up to the bed, careful to not wake you

But either you weren’t sleeping, or you weren’t in a very deep sleep, because you immediately open your eyes when he gets to the edge of the bed

“…Hey,” you say, softly, your voice gentle, with a faint smile on your lips

“Hey,” he answers

You move over a few inches to make space for him, then pat the empty space next to you

He’s, admittedly, somewhat hesitant, somewhat nervous to accept the offer

But when he does, and when you cuddle up next to him, and he can hold you in his arms again so that nothing could hurt you, he finally relaxes around you

It wasn’t a secret that the hybrid had a thing for you

But now you knew; knew how badly he wanted you, knew the lengths he’d go to please you, to make you his

Maybe he’s not so hopeless after all, he thinks

Maybe, just maybe, things are going to be ok

[ya-what--ya-erster]

Spot Conlon Likes Idiots

Inspired by @lithuaniaseye 's post here

606 words

Farm kid Race written by actual farm kid Albert (hi)

...

...

It wasn't news that Race was a farm kid. 

Race was the ultimate  farm kid. He was tall, and skinny, and appeared to have no muscle at all, but he could toss you over a fence like a hay bale. He wore Twisted X shoes and faded boot cut jeans and shirts with American flags and guns on them. He carried his pocket knife around religiously, constantly fiddling with it like it was a toy. He could ride a horse, and he could try (and fail) to ride a bull in a rodeo. 

He was also really gay, though, and those two things happened to not go very well together. 

Not necessarily because of hate, although sometimes that did occur.

Mostly, being a gay farm boy was a problem for Race because he had a tendency to flirt with his farmer-ness. 

"It's gonna work this time, Jack." Race said certainly. 

"You look like you're gonna go kick his ass. Which you couldn't do, by the way. Spot's like, ten times stronger than you." Jack replied. 

"I just want to ask him to come to the rodeo with us, is it really that bad?"

"What's bad is that Spot's a city kid, and you ain't, and you dress like all those homophobic shitheads over there while Spot's openly bi. Do you understand what's gonna go through his head, Racer?"

"Do you want me to paint my nails or some bullshit? I don't gotta 'look gay,' whatever that means."

"Actually. I'm gonna make a bet with you here. You're gonna ask him out, to the rodeo. If he says no, you are  going to paint your nails. If he says yes, which he won't, then I will. Left on for a week. Deal?"

"No deal. If you paint your nails when ya lose, nobody will notice. You are the most obviously queer person in this room right now. If you lose, you're gonna wear my clothes for a week."

"I ain't losing, so. Sure thing."

The two boys shook on it. Race took a breath and turned to go, but...

"Oh yeah, I forgot." Race plucked a barley stalk out of the ground and stuck it in his mouth like-

"One of them damn buckle bunnies, that's what you look like right now. You look like an idiot." Jack was not having it. 

"Do ya think Spot likes idiots?" Race asked absentmindedly, staring at Spot. 

"You moron. Go, get it over with."

So Race marched up to Spot, loud and proud. 

"Hey."

"You know, I'm just trying to have a good time, I don't need any of your bullshit today." Spot said roughly.

"I was wondering if- wait what?" Race stopped.

"So I'm bi? Deal with it."

"Ohh darn, Jack was right."

"Kelly?"

"Yeah, Kelly. He said you was gonna think that- never mind, I ain't here to bully ya or anything."

"Okay, well? What do you want, then?"

"I'm gay."

Spot looked Race up and down, then scoffed. 

"Uh-huh."

"For reals."

"Alright. Good to know, bye." Spot took a step away, but Race caught him by the arm and turned him back. 

"I was wondering," Race said slowly, "If maybe you would want to go to the rodeo with me tonight? Like, as a date?"

Spot pulled his arm away from Race, and Race worried for a second that he was gonna walk away with a split lip or a black eye. 

"Sure thing. Let me text my Ma and let her know I'll be out late, yeah?"

...

"How do you wear this shit?" Jack asked the next day, standing before Race's full-length mirror. 

"Cause I like it. And now you have to deal with it for a whole week. Enjoy! I gotta go pick Spot up for school."

...

THE END

...

...

hi its the author I just realized y'all city ppl probs actually don't know what a buckle bunny is so where I come from we use it to describe someone who dresses like this, or basically like anyone who looks like a fake country person. The whole wheat in the mouth thing doesn't actually happen all that often which is why it tends to fall under the buckle bunny label.

Also, I used barley instead of wheat in this for me being a farm kid purposes so

[genderqueerdykes]

The recent reblog had me wondering something. I can walk fine, and only get out of breath quickly when it's at accelerated paces. But I can not stand for very long without my back really hurting. It is especially hard when I have to wait in line for something, and I end up just having to sit on the floor. But I even struggle when I have to stand doing the dishes and stuff.

Is there anything I could do to make those things easier? Because as far as I know canes are really only for balance. I'm not even sure this counts as an issue, but it doesn't seem to be a problem anyone else in my family has.

I am not really sure if you can suggest anything. But I hope you are having an okay time considering how the world is being. Good day.

good question, thanks for stopping by!

i'm very sorry to hear you're dealing with that, but i understand it. you may be dealing with some lower back issues, which is very common. even people who don't consider themselves disabled deal with very bad lower back problems. i think its largely due to the fact that in modern western society, you're forced to either stand straight up or sit down and not move for many, many hours at a time. humans are not made to sit or stand in one position for extended periods of time. the way our work/school cultures are run is very hard on the human body. sitting for too long can cause all kinds of problems, as the pressure from being upright settles directly in your lower spine and creates unreal amounts of pressure

easily becoming winded can have a lot of causes, one of the most common is anemia (low iron), another very common disorder that causes one to lose their breath very easily is POTS. some gastrointestinal conditions can also cause one to become winded very easily, as can chronic fatigue, and conditions that cause a lot of pain. you're definitely not alone there. if you're able to see a doctor about this, i'd recommend doing so and trying to get whatever tests done you can afford/your insurance will cover, as it can make life very difficult to run out of breath and be in lots of pain just by standing for short intervals.

i use my cane for both balance and pain reasons! having another point of support can help reduce pressure on the lower back. it won't cure back pain, but it can help a lot when it comes to relieving some of the pressure you're feeling, and can be leaned on especially if you find yourself hunching over from the pain. they can help a lot with pain even if they're used for balance by a lot of people!

i find that my rollator walker helps a ton with my lower back pain, as does my wheelchair. my wheelchair has an ergonomic seat made out of heavy duty fabric that is like a hammock/cot that allows my butt and lower back to be suspended and supported, but not SMASHED up against a hard object. the gentle suspension reduces a ton of pain. however, i know not everyone can just go out and get a wheelchair, as they are quite expensive. my rollator walker was given to me by an elderly neighbor who knew i'm disabled, but couldn't fit it in her moving truck and it has helped me a lot. i mean a LOT. i can't take my wheelchair everywhere because of how heavy it is, but i really am in love with how helpful my rollator is

it is a walker that also features a built in seat, so if i need to sit down and take a rest for any reason, i can do so right there! these are still expensive, albeit much, much cheaper than a wheelchair, and can usually be found in pharmacies for sale. however, i understand not wanting to commit to something like that right away, as you're still very early on in figuring out what's going on.

if you're unable to visit a doctor, that's okay. what i can try to recommend is looking up back stretches to try to help with that in the interim while you don't have any mobility aids. stretching helps a lot with back pain, often times, your back is just seized up from overwork and can cause all kinds of other pain and even damage. your back muscles will seize up at times to help support your spine, and when this happens for long periods of time it can cause all kinds of misery and even lasting damage.

if you're unable to get any type of aid, try to plan your routes accordingly to avoid being on your feet for very long periods of time. take breaks when and where needed, even if it's every 5 minutes. you don't have to over exert yourself for anyone else. you're allowed to take as many breaks as you need while traveling. i hope you're able to get some answers for what you're experiencing, and i hope things improve for you soon.

i hope this helped somewhat! feel free to come back any time, good luck!

[visionandthebeast]

started working on my Buddie to Buddietommy mutual adultery fic. Its not set in any particular season, drawing from stuff across the entire show as I please, but the relevant bit here is that Buck and Eddie are dating, Buck has just started physical therapy for his leg after the bombing, and Tommy's his therapist.

This part is just Bucktommy, its Buck's first appointment.

Somewhat nsfw, nothing explicit. I'd say M rated (not yet sure if the fic on the whole will be explicit)

It wasn't going to be a problem. Buck had a boyfriend, a hot boyfriend who he had lots of sex with. Tommy might be an incredibly attractive man, but he wasn't Buck's boyfriend. So there wasn't going to be a problem.

Buck kept repeating that in his head as the appointment started, with Tommy going over Buck's history. The injury that put him here in the first place, and any previous injuries that might affect recovery. The doctor's notes. Everything.

He found his mind drifting as the discussion went on, Tommy already had all this information, and had clearly gone over it already. He was just double checking, which gave Buck lots of time to look around the room and the exercise equipment it would be a while before he could even think about using.

Buck's sight eventually fell back on Tommy, reading glasses perched on his nose, brilliant blue eyes magnified behind the glass. His gaze focused on the doctor's report in front of him, the space between his eyebrows wrinkled, and the laugh lines at the corner of his eyes deepened, his hair was starting to gray at the edges, strands of silver amidst the darker curls.

[transition into the physical therapy portion that I can't get for the life of me]

Once the appointment actually started, Buck found himself faced with the next issue. Not a problem, it wasn't a problem He didn't have a problem. Why would he have a problem, he had a boyfriend. Tommy might be an attractive man, but there were lots of attractive men in the world. Most of the men Buck worked with were attractive men. Buck could handle attractive men.

Tommy wasn't just an attractive man.

Tommy, in addition to being an incredibly attractive man, with muscles that stretched the fabric of his pullover like it was spandex, a voice gentle but firm — and smooth as butter — while he guided Buck through the exercises, and a cleft chin visible beneath carefully groomed salt-and-pepper stubble. In addition to all that, Tommy was patient. Carefully demonstrating what he wanted Buck to do when he wasn't understanding it, first by doing it himself — giving Buck an excellent look at his truly delightful looking behind — and then by guiding Buck's movements directly when he still had trouble grasping it.

Tommy, meanwhile, did not have a difficult time grasping Buck's leg. In addition to having hands that dwarfed any part of Buck's body they touched; the hands were warm; their heat sinking down to Buck's bones and resting there. The grip firm; like an iron vice that couldn't be broken when wrapped around his leg. His obscenely large arms were not just for show, Tommy didn't even seem to notice Buck's initial resistance when he tried to move the leg into position, biceps swelling as he held Buck in place.

"How's that feel?" Tommy asked, eyes focused on Buck, looking for any sign the position was too much for his injured leg. His eyes weren't completely blue, Buck thought as he looked up into Tommy's gaze. One of them was half green: sectoral heterochromia.

"Evan?" Buck blinked back to attention, his mind rewinding to Tommy's question.

"Good. a bit of strain, but not too painful." Buck managed to say, instead of anything embarrassingly horny. Like wanting Tommy to hold his other leg in the same position. Or for him to wrap those hands arms around Buck's throat and flex until Buck passed out.

"Excellent. We're going to hold your leg in this position, and i want you to move your foot back and forth — like that, yes. You're doing excellent, Evan." Tommy's words drew buck out of his spiraling thought, and then tossed him back into the depths. Even deeper then before.

Maybe Buck did have a problem. Just a little bit. Because having this walking wet dream of a man loom over him, holding him down and praise him. It was starting to go to his head. And his dick. His very interested dick. His very interested dick which was currently inside his tightest workout shorts, and therefore was very noticeable when even slightly hard.

And right now, Buck was more than slightly hard.

[zeestarfishalien]

Oops, John Constantine Found Family

[Day 1 dpxdc week 2023; John Constantine // Found Family // Oops]

• John Constantine/Box Ghost/Lunch Lady

John curses the Infinite King the first time he’s asked out to dinner.

It’s ridiculous, the parents of the little ghost child are loud and obnoxious and…definitely not endearing in the slightest. He’s sure he’ll be sick of the word “beware” before the end of the night.

But it is and he’s not.

He agrees to another dinner, more to prove to himself that this would never come anywhere close to working. He doesn’t get nice things and these two are just so…ridiculous and it’s so different from how his entire life has been, one nitty-gritty moment after the next; dooming his soul for power and favors.

But they aren’t turned off by his life or his rude demeanor. They like him and they show it. Against all odds, they just work.

And to think it all started with the end of the world…

~•~

John hates when he’s the last call, the hail mary pass, for the end of the world. Most of the better options for solving problems take time to put together, which is something few on the Justice League seem to understand and even fewer (read: None) seem to remember when a big threat comes about.

Since it’s potentially the end of the world, what’s one more time selling his soul going to hurt?

Possibly a lot this time. The King of Restless Dead holds sway over those that fall in the in between. They are historically stronger than most demons and spirits and on par with most deities. And since it is a title one by conquest most of the time the one to take over the throne is more powerful than the previous holders.

Now John really isn’t all that keen on joining the King’s legions but like he’s mentioned previously, end of the world and all that.

It’s a fitting enough end for him, he thinks and he hopes that his planned contract doesn’t have any loopholes for the King to take advantage of. Loosing the King of Restless Dead, King of the Infinite, King of the space between worlds, upon Earth for them to wreck havoc would probably cause Batman to revive John just so he can kill him again.

So it’s with a heavy heart and skyrocketing blood pressure that John starts chanting the words to bring the King of Ghosts to Earth, this Earth here and now. He’s got to be specific. Every single word matters…

…

John doesn’t know what he was expecting. A terror of the night? A horrific figure or possibly some sort of Eldritch entity that nearly melts his brain with its very presence?

Not a teenager that’s for fucking certain.

He’s not…he’s not certain what exactly he’s seeing as a funky little girl with blue skin and pigtails hikes herself up to peek over the teen’s shoulder.

He opens his mouth, probably to spit out some snarky comment or another but something in the teen’s eyes stops him. Then the overwhelming power hits him with the full force of a speeding freight train.

His lungs are too tight, too full. He can’t breathe, he can’t even twitch a bloody muscle under those glowing toxic waste eyes. The teen tilts his head, assessing John, weighing his tattered and bloody soul.

“What do you want, Laughing Magician?”

And that’s a fucking title. The King has his fucking title in hand with just a glance at him. The teen is all seriousness despite the little girl floating up to rest her upper body on his head like being The King just means he’s a glorified babysitter. She’s unaffected by the roiling waves of power washing off of him and crashing into John repeatedly.

He swallows and chokes on it because his throat is suddenly too dry. He coughs a few times before sinking into a bow.

“Oh King of Restless Dead and all those trapped in between death and life, I came seeking your aid to save this world and its inhabitants.” He doesn’t dare look up no matter how crawly his skin feels or how the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

“Ohhhh. Oh yeah, I was keeping an eye on that but then Boxy asked me to babysit the tyke here. It’s that bad already?”

John has to fight every cell in his body not to look up at the King and give him a taste of the incredulous look on his face.

“We’ve lost several heroes already and countless civilians. Superman is stuck in recovery after an attack, he can’t be out there. Wonder Woman has a broken leg and Batman is no-“

“Okay, okay I get it.” He interrupts, “It’s bad. I’m on it. I just need one thing in return.”

“My soul?”

“Ewww no.” John finally does look up at that just to catch the genuine disguston the teen’s face. “I need you to watch little Boxy junior here while I take care of this. She’s too young for the battlefield.”

“But I’m not qualified to take ca-“

“Thanks!” The King plops the little ghost girl on John and she grabs onto him while he’s too shocked to respond. It’s a good thing she’s a ghost and can fly since it takes him entirely too long to wrap his arms securely around her.

She’s studying him furiously and seems to find him suitable since she eventually grins and introduces herself.

“I’m Box Lunch. Who are you?”

“John,” he answers and that’s all he planned to give her but she stared him down with her beady little red eyes, waiting. “John Constantine and as His Majesty said, I’m also sometimes called the Laughing Magician.”

“Ohhh, so you have lots of names like Danny does.”

“Danny?”

She sends him a flat look.

“You’re kinda slow aren’t you.” When he doesn’t respond she lets out a big sigh, something she definitely doesn’t actually need. “You call him King and use one of his titles but you don’t know who he is?”

Now that’s an answer. And an alarming one at that. Just how high in the ghostly courts are her parents that she can casually call the King by name?

“I uh…” he fumbles a moment for words. “News and info about your world doesn’t cross the veil to here very well.”

“Oh…” She says it like she didn’t realize that. “Oh yeah, that’s Danny’s world. I’ve never actually been to a living realm that wasn’t Danny’s.”

“Not even when you were alive? Or were you from His Majesty’s world?”

She levels that unimpressed look at him again before sighing the worlds biggest sigh. Highly entertaining coming from someone so young and so small.

“Come sit with me.” She floats to the floor and snags his hand to drag him down too. “I will teach you Silly Magician.”

He follows, not sure how to tell her no thanks without upsetting her, so he goes along with it.

~•~

By the time that The King in all his teenager glory popped back in, John and Box Lunch were snuggled into a nearby couch with John reading to her from a spell book (it’s the only thing he had on hand and he made sure to only read the kid safe parts to her).

And the rest is, as they say, history.

More accurately the continuation of John’s very very strange life but details, details.

[immortalmsmoon]

Hello 👋🏽 Nice blog you got here!

May I please request headcanons for Joker, Akechi, and Ann reacting to their female S/O asking them to change her aunt’s heart after she shows anger and bitterness towards the family, snapping during a party which terrifies the S/O?

Phantom Thieving

A/N: Thank you so much for the request!! i am so sorry this took so long, i've had a lot of school work to do and i have been INSANLY busy. i'll try to get these next requests out as fast as i can.

Warnings: mentions of Killing In akechi's (very brief), talk of an Aunt that yells at Y/n

Word Count: 679

Akira Kurusu~

Angry to say the least

not the type to verbally or physically show that anger in anyway though, you you probably won't figure out he's angry at your Aunt

VERY eager to change the heart of your aunt.

you mean the world to him, so the fact that someone treated you with such disrespect has him seething.

when he's not Phantom Thieving, he's making sure to give you attention and affection, and is always pretty carful not to yell around you regardless of what the situation might be

sometimes even goes as far as to make sure his friends don't yell around you

Akira did not have a short temper, and it took a lot to truly make him angry.

Somehow your aunt had turned the usually cool headed teenager into one filled with one filled with anger to say the least.

He had been hesitant at first. Changing a person's heart was a permanent thing, and he didn't want you to make the decision just because you were angry. But as soon as you told him the story as to why you felt your dear Aunts heart should be changed, he was eager and ready to do it.

he put it at the top of his priority list. he ignored most of his other memento requests, instead deciding that the specific request you had given him was the most important thing in the world.

He made sure check up on you as the change of heart was in progress, taking you out around town, and making you coffee so you could have a break from your family. he new the best thing for you would be to take your mind off the situation until it was resolved.

Goro Akechi~

Not typically one to change hearts, but he's willing to do it for you

his anger is a lot more visible, especially when he sees how much it scared you

as soon as you tell him the story, he is making comments.

"How could your Aunt do that to you?" "Your aunt is obviously the problem here." "She sounds like a real pain"

it takes a lot to hold back when confronting your aunt, especially because killing people is basically muscle memory for him, but thinking of you keeps him in line

It wasn't often you came to Goro in tears. And every time you did he dreaded it.

In his eyes you were so perfect. the Personification of joy and happiness and love, and it made no sense to him that anyone could ever yell at you.

when he found out what your Aunt had done he could feel anger coursing through him like blood.

He was delicate with you as he held you, making sure not to scare you anymore than you already were.

Of course he wanted to help you. but helping others wasn't something he was particularly good at. He would try his hardest anyway, if it meant he could hear you laugh, see you smile.

He would do anything to make you happy.

Ann Takamaki~

She understands exactly how your feeling.

she had been yelled at the same way as you, and it made her angry that someone as kind and loving as you had to experience that.

quick to tell Akira of your situation, and really presses on the Phantom Thieves about fulfilling your request.

She takes you out on crepe dates and invites you to come to her modelling sessions so you can take your mind off of the situation until its fixed.

As soon as Ann heard your story, her once present smile faded.

First Shiho, and now you? it broke her heart.

She held you close for a second, her eyes welling up. She quickly wiped them away, before letting you go. this time she would be strong enough to protect you. and that was a promise.

it seemed like all the people around her lately were sad. she new she needed to fix the situation. She sent Akira a quick text, explaining your situation, before asking to take you out for crepes.

[annepsilvaauthor]

You Belong With Me - Jamie Dutton

Pairing: Jamie Dutton x OC (Ava North)

Summary: Ava only wanted one thing: to be a horse tamer. And when she had the chance, she took it. Ava became the new horse tamer of Yellowstone, a totally different ranch from the others she met, either because of its immensity or because of family problems. Ava thought her problems were big, but when she met the Dutton family that thought dies. However, there is a Dutton who is a point out of the curve, a lawyer mistreated by the problems and by his own family. Meeting Jamie Dutton may not have been the work of chance, after all one broken understands the other.

Warnings: Subtle sexual innuendos, brief language, alcohol consumption, angst, smut, fluffy.

Parte II

Bosses are called 'sir'

In the days that followed, Ava tried to do her best at work, but it was difficult not to notice the cowboys' looks on her. At least, she seemed to have earned their respect and they just looked at her with curiosity, perhaps thinking the same as Lloyd. She just ignored all this and tried to fit in with them, getting into their games and playing poker games.

A specific look did not seem to have changed: Lee Dutton, son and foreman of John Dutton. He was the oldest son and to whom Ava realized that John gave more confidence and love. John's look at Lee was completely different from looking at Jamie. Ava admitted that Lee was an attractive man, who knew how to govern the cowboys well and take care of the pasture, but did not look like a landowner. He loved to take care of the land but not command it.

Sometimes, when returning from the expeditions with the cattle, Lee invited her to talk about the work, but deep down she knew he wanted to know more about her. Ava wouldn't reveal anything. Since she was little she recognized the value of discretion and silence, in addition, Ava did not feel attracted to him enough to tell him about her suffering life. However, the silence did not seem to bother Lee, since he always found an opportunity to talk to her. Ava even liked these moments, after all he was an eye drop and was still one of the only cowboys in which the subject did not revolve around football or cattle.

Lee was a nice guy. So cool that she allowed him to kiss her. It happened behind the barn after she fixed the horses inside the stables. It was still day and he surprised her with a stolen kiss. To her surprise, his kiss was soft, sweet, completely different from what she expected from a cowboy. A point outside the curve. Ava enjoyed that kiss until they both lost their breath.

A throat scratch prevented Lee from saying anything about that gesture and they both turned their heads to the left, where Jamie was. Unlike the other times she had seen him, he wore slippers, wide sweatpants and a white blouse transparent enough for her to notice some chest muscles and hair. His hair was not licked with gel, it looked natural, as if he had just woken up and just ran his fingers to comb them, which she found very difficult to have happened. Jamie seemed to give a lot of importance to his appearance.

For a moment her whole body burned. He was...different, he almost looked like an ordinary person. Lee moved far enough from her with a heavy and angry sigh and looked at his brother.

"Dad wants to see you at home." Jamie announced and took a sip of his coffee in a big blue cup.

"I'll go in a little while."

"It's better to go now. You know that dad hates waiting."

Ava could feel the tension in Lee's body even from afar and was sure of his anger when he left stepping firmly on the sand floor until he disappeared from sight. As she did not want to be among the affairs of the family, Ava recomposed herself and began to walk away from there, but his voice appeared again.

"Who are you?"

"Ava."

"How long have you been working here, Ava?"

"A month." She tried to respond as politely as possible, but his incisive tone was making her angry.

"I think you had enough time to know that the bosses are called 'sr'."

"Yes, I had."

"So why do you talk to me as if I were one of you?" Jamie asked about that nonsense and drank another sip of the coffee. Ava wanted to punch that cup and break his nose.

"I didn't know you were my boss."

He laughed without humor and approached her. "That doesn't surprise me at all. If you really knew who your bosses are, you wouldn't go out kissing anyone."

It was her turn to laugh in derision. "I'm confused...sir...are you complaining that I kissed that boss and not 'this' boss?"

Jamie choked on the coffee, spitting out the liquid and dirtying the clear shirt. Well, she found the weak point of that well of arrogance. Ava observed that his expression became bitter, even a little painful and she was intrigued by that.

"Do you want some help, sir?" Ava asked with false education and Jamie denied it with a gesture, then leaving. "Idiot."

[thescrumblingmidwife]

Hi! I know other people have sent similar asks before but I thought I'd send my own just to be sure. I can't fit more than a finger... up there. And even then its a tight fit. That's enough for me but I'm worried about if I go for a pap smear (I think that's what its called, I have a bad memory): something has to go up there right? Will it fit? What happens if it doesn't? Is it going to be a hassle to request a woman? How much do I need to "clean up"? No pressure to respond right away, I get that you're busy. I just wanna know what to expect. Thank you! 😊❤

Hi Anon!

How old are you? You don't need a pap smear until 21, and you don't need a pelvic exam at all before then unless you've got some kind of complaint or you want to get fitted for an IUD. If you are 21+ and have had zero sexual contact, you can discuss a modified schedule with your provider.

PELVIC EXAMS

Reminder - pelvic exam is when the doctor/midwife examines your pelvic area and vagina. This can include the use of a speculum or not, and be done for a number of reasons. Pap smear is a screening test where we take a cell sample (like a cheek swab) from your cervix to check for HPV/precancerous lesions. A pap smear is usually conducted in conjunction with a pelvic exam, but not all pelvic exams include a pap smear, as you don't usually need one every year.

Let's go through your questions one by one. But first I want to start by saying that medical consent is the same as regular consent - you have a right to refuse or defer any procedure or examination, or to stop one at any time. You have the right to fully understand everything you're consenting to, and ask as many questions as you need to feel comfortable. If you make an initial appointment with an OBGYN or midwife, and she doesn't pass the vibe check, you are not obligated to go through with the exam. It can be scary to stand up to someone who seems like they're in a position of power, but you should know that you can.

"Something has to go up there, right?"

At your first GYN appointment, nothing has to go anywhere. You'll meet with a provider, she'll take your full medical history, your menstrual and sexual history, your family history, ask if there are any concerns you want to discuss. At this point, you should talk to her about your issues with insertion and your anxiety about it. She may want to have a look (literally just eyeballs) to ensure there's nothing going on, but she will ask permission before doing any touching, and explain everything she's doing. If she thinks it's worth attempting a pelvic exam, she would start very slowly and only with your full buy-in. It may be necessary to try to figure out if you've got an underlying problem.

When a pelvic exam is warranted (like when you need a pap), the provider may first insert fingers while pressing on your belly (called a bimanual exam) to assess your anatomy, and then use a device called a speculum, which allows us to actually see the inside of the vagina (speculum exam). The speculum will be lubricated, and the provider will coach you through the insertion process. You can also ask about inserting it yourself. Usually, you lie back and put your legs up in stirrups, and are coached to let your knees fall out and give a deep breath out, so as to relax your pelvic floor muscles, while the speculum is inserted down and back (towards your tailbone) in a smooth motion. You'll then feel a bit of pressure as the blades of the speculum are slowly opened so the provider can peek through. It shouldn't hurt, but it can be uncomfortable. I don't know anyone who actively enjoys speculum exams, but most people would say they're not too bad. The whole thing is over in a matter of seconds.

"Will it fit?"

Speculums come in a wide range of sizes, in plastic or metal (if metal, it will be warmed). You can ask for the smallest speculum they have (they make pediatric-sized speculums, so there are definitely small ones - see middle device in the image below, about the size of a finger). The provider will use one that should fit based on your history, anxiety/preferences, and her visual inspection of you - but don't be afraid to speak up.

"What happens if it doesn't?"

If you have an anatomical variation that means even a pediatric speculum could not fit, the provider will likely catch this before you get to the speculum stage. If you've got something going on like vaginismus, this will help her diagnose you. The most likely scenario is that you just need a competent and compassionate provider you trust and some good coaching. But what will NOT happen is the provider trying to jam something into you that doesn't fit!

"Is it going to be a hassle to request a woman?"

Absolutely not. It's very normal to have gender preferences with medical providers, especially for something so sensitive. Just ask for a female provider when you're requesting your appointment. You can also ask to see a midwife -- we're something like 96-99% female-identified, with most of the rest being AFAB trans/GNC/NB. (There ARE a few male midwives, but they're really rare).

"How much do I need to 'clean up'?"

If you've got time and it would make you feel better, take a shower before you come, wash with soap and water like normal. But if you can only get in on your lunch break or something, that's fine. Otherwise, you don't need to do anything! I promise your pubic hair is not so forest-like that we will not be able to examine you. Don't douche, or use any fragrances or lotions unless you would like some patient education about how you should not use "feminine products."

Okay Anon, that's an initial GYN visit in a nutshell!

[deusvervewrites]

On the topic of late bloomers and the "you should have a Quirk by 4 years old" fact, I think the issue is that Quirks are a complicated topic that a majority of the sciences and public doesn't invest much in. Which in turn, makes its harder to investigate and explore Quirks, especially in Japan were it's illegal to use their Quirks in public. Officially, we only know that Japan is a country where public non-heroic Quirk usage is illegal without a license, so some kids are going to be dependent upon what they get from their parents, which means that the unlucky mutated Quirks(different from parents and recent family) are going to be harder to define if they have different activations. And then there's the situation where mutations Quirks are obvious while emitter Quirks are likely to activate upon the kids commands.

Since Quirks can come in at any age and that there should be a wide variety of Quirks with different characteristics, which includes how it activates, when it activates and whatever safety measures the Quirk would have for the users, and there is an extremely likelihood that the most obvious and OP Quirks early on would die off because they were too obvious or too risky on the body and died early on. Since it is known that a user can have a body that isn't adapted to the Quirk or that the Quirk can be too much for the user, it's going to be whatever genetic information that the Quirk will have and what that person inherits.

Let's say in theory, there was some kid who had super strength, but requires a lot of muscle to carry many times his own weight the more muscles he has. The problem is that as a child, he was gaining the same amount of muscles any other kid his age and that his average strength was similar to that of other kids. It wasn't until he reaches puberty and started weight training that the muscles sticked around and him lifting up a car without any issues was when they realized that he had a "Quirk with specific activations". This would also go in hand with the theoretical sex-related Quirks that required puberty. Would you want to introduce unnecessary medical interventions for the Quirk to work since it's going to come in in later or or teach children with such Quirks age-inappropriate lessons that are extremely easy to misunderstand and abuse?

This isn't even going into mental Quirks, as how is it defined the differences when a child who is bright versus a child has a super intelligence Quirk? What if for mental Quirks, the child brain isn't developed enough to comprehend its capabilities so that child can't actually use it until they gain some reasoning skills, which is going to be a few years after the 4-years date? I'm pretty sure that someone like Intelli(becomes more intelligent via drinking tea), couldn't used the full capabilities of her Quirk until she got older.

I think when it comes to late bloomer Quirks, it probably is dependent upon Quirk itself and if the body requires age-related growths in order to be used. While mutation Quirks and most other Quirks can reveal themselves early on, other Quirks may not be as lucky due to the child not having the body mass or brain to use them.

We know that Quirks can be redefined as you grow and better understand your own Quirk; All Might even notes that Midoriya won't have any problems registering Superpower from his previous Quirkless status back at the start of the manga.

Presumably, there are ways to determine if someone has a Quirk (like the toe joint) and the Quirk is simply marked as an unknown at the time, with it being updated once the user figures out more about it, such as the examples you listed.

[jadedandconfusedao3]

Rip Him Open

Draco had taken three cold showers and wanked himself to completion twice. At this rate, Hermione Granger was going to give him a heart attack or a stroke and he wasn’t sure how to stop it. He couldn’t decide whether he wanted to murder her or let her walk all over him, in heels.

He’d told Astoria that he wasn’t used to the hours of work and was tired and she had been wonderfully understanding about it all. A fact that served to make him feel even worse about the tumult of emotions warring inside him. She deserved so much better, but he was a coward. Everyone expected him to be happy. He was supposed to be happy about all of this and no one had every told him what he was supposed to be with himself if he was not.

Ever since that intense dream with Hermione a week ago he had been plagued by them. Every night she came to haunt his consciousness until he broke down and bowed at her feet. It didn’t matter how many times he fucked her. He could never get enough.

He needed a break from her. He needed space.

In desperation, he had brewed dreamless sleep. He hated using it. Every time he woke, the slow beating of his heart and the fogginess in his brain made it feel like he was rising from the dead. Back when the alternative was nights plagued with terror and pain, he had taken far too much of it. After the war, he had vowed never to use it again.

Tonight, he would be breaking that vow and it only made him hate her all the more.

“You have been a very bad boy.”

When Draco came to, he was tied to the chair again in the same room as the first night. Hermione was standing before him with a furious expression on her face, her body practically vibrating with anger. She was dressed in an elaborate lace bodysuit and nothing else. It took his breath away.

No. He shook his head. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. The dreamless sleep was supposed to stop this. To save him from this torment.

He struggled against the bonds, straining his muscles as he tried to pull his arms free. They scratched and pulled at his skin which he now realised was on full display. He was as naked as the day he were born and with alarm realised there was a thrum of pleasure skirting his conscious. His cock was rapidly hardening, its appreciation of his predicament obvious.

He fought the urge to agree. Her words of approval were like a drug, and he would not cave to it now.

“I think that is a very subjective statement,” he growled.

She stalked forward her eyes blazing as she snarled, “how dare you talk back to me.”

The sight of her coming for him like some sort of avenging angel made his pulse thrum. This was a huge part of the problem. He found her just as attractive when she was angry and yelling at him as when she was pleased and praising him. Both sides of her filled him with a want so strong that he would break down mountains just to stop the burn.

She slammed her foot down on the chair in between his legs, mere inches away from his cock. He tried to jump back and only succeeded in tightening the restraints even more.

She leaned down until their faces were level. “Just say the word and you can go home to your boring little life with your wife. Do you want to be here?”

The want was roaring inside him. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. He took in a shuddering breath as he fought against it. She was so close. The smell of her perfume wafted over him. She wasn’t his amortentia. No. What they had was nothing so pure and sweet. She was the sickly-sweet taste of an Imperius that was driving him to madness.

“Yes,” he choked out.

Read the rest on Ao3

[thecorvidcurio-if]

Thoughts On Love

"What do you think love is?"

These are their answers before their routes are played. Their answers afterwards will be under the cut.

Vicente

"Love is providing for those you care about. It’s attending their needs and ensuring their safety and happiness. Love is putting those you care for before yourself."

Abby

"Love is uhhhh... I dunno! All I really have t’go on is what everyone else says, ‘n they all say different things! It's in songs ‘n stuff, uhhh— Oh! Right, it causes LOTS of drama, which is always fun! Not sure what the point of it is, though!"

Marina

"Someone can say they love you all day every day and it’d still be empty. Words are fuckin’ worthless. We are what we do, not what we say. If there's no love in the way someone acts then there's no love at all. Period."

Thea

"Ah, love… I do appreciate a good romance. In fiction, that is. In reality, it rather loses its lustre. Romance is alluring, and few can resist the... siren song, if you will. The problem arises when people confuse desire for love. You can't have love without desire, but you can most certainly have desire without love. Most of the time, people don't actually love their person of interest but just the idea of them. It’s harder to love a whole, flawed person. It’s one thing to love the way someone shines. It’s quite another to love the rest of them as well."

Kaida

"Love is non-existent. Any amount of… ‘care’ someone claims to feel for you only stems from whatever you provide for them. Once you are no longer useful or they’ve otherwise taken all you have to give… It’s frankly impressive how quickly ��love’ gives way to the resentment of being saddled with someone who has become a useless and disposable thing. I have no interest in subjecting someone to that, and I have even less interest in being reduced to such a state again."

Shiloh

".......Mm. My….. understanding… is that love…… comes from the heart... I…. don't think my physical anatomy… has any organs….. including a heart muscle…… but I… haven't been able to check... I….. don't have a pulse…… so it stands to reason I don't…Mm. …I don’t have a heart. So….. it follows that love…… is beyond me…. Right?"

????

"Love is not something that one such as I am at liberty to consider for myself, but in a general sense, my view of it is complicated. Rarely do I see a happy ending. Not because they do not exist but, well… By the time I come around, ‘happily ever after’ has typically run its course. Even so, the pain I see is but a clear sign that love is something truly precious."

 Vicente

"Love is a house you’ve built with those you care for. It takes time and a team effort poured into a process that can be frustrating and exhausting. The quality of the result is decided by the materials used and the care taken in its construction. If you do it right, it can provide warmth and shelter even on the coldest night in the dead of winter, and there’s a comfort in knowing that those dearest to you are safe with you there."

Abby

"Love is when someone appreciates you for you, even when you're not— Even if you aren’t— Mmngh… I dunno. It’s— It’s being seen. Being really known by someone, ‘n they come closer instead of runnin’ away. ‘N you see them like they see you, even the not-fun bits, but even those bits are worth it 'cause it's them, y'know? They’re them, ‘n that's enough for you. You're enough for them, or— Or, at least, you’re not too much. They don’t, y’know— They don’t come at you with a list of all the ways you aren’t what they want you to be. They aren’t just— I dunno— Tolerating you, I guess.”

Marina

"Sometimes the people who're s'posed to love you suck absolute shit at it. So, you leave 'em behind, and you find people who put their money where their damn mouth is. People who actually give an actual, genuine fuck about your wellbeing and happiness. People who don’t have a million stupid, useless, infuriating conditions and expectations you need to meet for them to keep giving a fuck. People who don’t threaten to take their love away to keep you in line.”

Thea

"Attempting to describe what love is would be pointless. It isn’t something so easily put into words, which is perhaps why I have found it so elusive for so long. I can describe what it isn’t, though. It isn’t a role you play. It isn’t a costume you desperately try to fit into, carving away any parts of yourself that may be inconvenient. It isn't a transaction, and it isn't a competition. It isn’t something you should have to fight and beg for, and it isn’t something you can gain through expensive gifts and pretty lies. It isn’t something you can gain by twisting things to make yourself look good, because eventually things will untwist, and you’ll be seen for exactly what you are.”

Kaida

"I’m rarely ever wrong, and even more rarely ever happy to be wrong. In this, I’m… beyond pleased to be both. I… cannot say that most claims of love are honest and sincere. But... I can accept that sincere love exists, and when it does— ...I thought I understood, but I didn't, and I don't. Nothing is as I thought it was. Something I have been so sure of for thousands of years has been proven false and that's… That’s terrifying. I'm... okay with that, though. The terror of it all is far preferable to the loneliness of the alternative."

Shiloh

"Mmn. Love is…… scary…. It’s a feeling of…. flying and falling, at the same time… Everything is both hazy…. and unbearably vivid... Going too fast… while moving in slow motion…. Mm. It’s…. an ache… but it’s an ache to savour. It's… all too much… but never enough. Holding you together…. while tearing you apart….. And it's wonderful….. I’m still… fairly certain that I… don’t have an actual, physical heart, but… It sometimes… feels like I might…"

????

"I still do not know. Even having experienced it, I do not understand it. But I find that I do not want to, nor do I need to. I am simply glad to have it. That is all I need. All I ask. More than I ever thought I would receive. Just... just to have it. To be around it. That is all."

-------

Forever ago in the far off ancient time of 2017, one of the writers for Dragon Age made some tweets of the romance options he'd written responding to being asked about love. I really liked the idea so when I remembered it I thought it'd make a good warm-up, and once they were done I thought you all may enjoy them. So, here you go. I hope you all have a lovely day.

[mudora]

Sad story time: Subject, my kitty Lily.  I adopted Lilly in 2020 from a local shelter. It was prime covid time, and I was only able to see her picture and see her on video calls with the foster parent before I was able to take her home. Siamese and a bit of house cat within. Her blues eyes are just so big and filled with curiosity. She warmed up pretty quickly to the house and me.  I was so excited to have her here. My very own adopted cat. I made sure to get everything she needed, and asked all the right questions. I was the perfect house  for her, in my mind. No children, nice and quiet, and I was so ready to just make her life happy, comfortable, and very ready to bring her on as a new member of the family.  Shortly after her arrival, however - about three months, to be exact - she began to exhibit weird signs. Twitchy skin near her back. Licking the back area compulsively, wagging her tail in irritation, and seeing things that weren’t there. At first I attributed this to extreme separation anxiety. My vet agreed. We tried everything to make her more comfortable, but the standard things that worked for other cats were not working for her. She began to pee habitually in my basement living room, and in other areas I frequented - mostly where her litterbox was. I was dumbfounded. We checked for urinary tract infections. Bladder problems. Thyroid issues, overweight possibilities. These were many vet visits over two years of trying to understand what the hell was happening with my cat.  Naturally, she wasn’t always running scared or trying to bite my legs off. On good days she would be the most comfortable cat I’ve seen, happily sitting in my lap and purring, playing with toys, and just being her beautiful self that I knew her to be. She was protective of me, and loved to monopolize my company. My perfect nap buddy (she still is).  Finally, after two years, my best friend linked me an article to FHS:  Feline hyperesthesia syndrome (FHS) has also been called rolling skin syndrome and twitchy cat disease. FHS generally involves muscle contractions that your cat cannot control, along with changes in behavior. It���s very broad, and poorly understood. I thought that I had an answer to my cat’s woes.  Gabapentin has literally been the only way to alleviate her symptoms. And so many things could be the probably cause. I know she doesn’t have allergies. So its highly possible its psychological in nature. Which requires a very. very expensive pet visit that I no longer have a job to pay for.  Due to her urination, it has caused a lot of damage to the newly finished basement that was competed in 2019 (and  where I live). I’ve been given until the end of march to somehow fix this. And chances are, if I don’t find a permanent solution, I would have to put her to sleep due to the nature of her symptoms. I can’t trust another adoptive family with this cat. She is not a normal cat, and needs heightened help. Help that I’m so willing  to give, but I do not  own the house I live in.  I love her so much. I don’t want to let her go anywhere. I want her to feel safe, and loved, and wanted. I just don’t think until the end of march  is enough time to really figure out what she needs.  I’m just... very sad. And upset at myself. Could I had prevented this from happening in some way? Could I have done more? Will she somehow pivot from a habit she’s formed and has done for two years in counting? I don’t know.  If anyone has advice or ideas, I’d love to know. Or if you have an FHS cat that is comfortable... I need something. My area is just... not really an area with an abundance of cat behaviorists and vets that can come to the house.  I just want her to have the chance to be the happiest cat there is. And I don’t have a lot of time left. And I hate it. 

[rogdona]

Look man- just wanna say your art is literally gorgeous bro- It's very catchy and cool- but uh- that aside- I hope ya don't mind the question- but would ya mind giving some few tips on how to draw anatomy and how you color? because your art is so pleasing to look at- like bruh it's so pretty-

first of all THANK UUUUU!!!! im sososos happy u like my art!!!!!!!!!💕🌺🌷💕🌺🌷💕🌺🌷❤️♥️💕🌺🌷💕♥️❤️🌹🌹❤️♥️🌺💕!!!!!

i dont mind the question at all!! ill give u some tips on how i draw!!

BTW! these are just some tips ab what i do to draw the way i do, this is not an universal rule let alone mandatory!!

NOW ONTO THE STUFF U CAME FOR! under a read more so i dont clog ur dash bc i got kinda tecnical w some of it..! IT GOT WAY TOO LONG IM SORRY!!!

lets start with color then!! 🎨

i always see ppl saying that color theory is rlly hard and they never understand it, and tbh u dont need to learn it in depth at all!!

to make colors look good you need to think them as a group instead of choosing them individually...

though what i do is different, theres a post going around that says tinting all the colors w one brings the drawing together, and it does!! its a p good tip if u dont want to eyeball it like i do!!

but heres my process; lets say u have a sketch and an idea of what colors you want; your character is in a forest walking through the trees! what i do is choose background color and start from there

if you chose a cool color, when you start painting the rest of the picture drag the hue a little closer to blue or purple! if you chose a warm one, closer to yellow or red! if you want your drawing to have a greenish tint drag it closer to green or yellow! you get the gist of it, bring the colors closer! if theyre on opposite sides of the wheel it might be difficult, but usually bringing them closer to gray does a good job!!

also unless youre trying to get contrast on purpose, choosing colors w similar saturation(intensity!) helps unify the drawing!

say you want a drawing that is mostly grayish tones, make sure all your colors are desaturated (less intense, pigmented)

-

now say you have an existing character w a set color palette (we'll take my character elias as an example) and want to draw him in green and yellow or bright magenta and blue

i saw this explanation on a tiktok long ago but i literally cannot word it better and found it real useful

to translate the colors properly u need to think them on a scale, which ones are the darkest, lightest, and where does the rest sit?? Once you have that you can make ur own scale w the colors you want to use, and as long as the difference between the colors stay mostly the same u will be able to translate them p much to whatever!!

my drawing was done quickly so its not the best example but u get me

i think thats it for color now, but if i think of something else ill add it and tell u!!

now onto anatomy 🧍🧍‍♀️🧍‍♂️

and ill be honest w u here, i have no clue how i learned anatomy, let alone how to teach u but ill try my best here!!

and tbh, learning every bone, muscle, etc is smth rlly tedious to me so i cannot assist u there bc i dont know

ALSOO references are ur best buddy, use them!! even if its not the exact pose or angle ur wanting to draw it can help u visualize what u want and tell u what goes where!!

even if its not for the pose or angle, a skeleton can help u see how the body part works!! i look at animal skeleton legs all the time to help me draw my ocs!!!

but yeah!! i think anatomy is smth that u shouldnt take very seriously bc most of what gives personality to characters is exageration!! or made up parts!!

but like, if u want to know my way of drawing smth specific u can tell me!! i have no problem showing u how i do things!!

but since i wasnt very helpful when it comes to anatomy, im taking the liberty of adding an extra bullet point to the post

composition!! 🌇🌃🌆🏙️

composition is the way you show the image, how you place things in your drawing!!

in school they make us take audio-visual production classes, which truly isnt as interesting as it sounds but they taught us some p cool photography tips that also apply to drawings!!

one of them is the rule of thirds! basically, you divide the canvas in 9 equal parts, and the places where the lines join are the places where the eyes are most drawn to!! heres an example i found on the internet

so if you place something on those spots it will get the attention, bc the brain is used to the focus being on the center so taking it out of there makes u want to look why (or at least thats the explanation they gave me!)

also, to draw even more attention to those spots u can make a visual path that leads there!! here some crude examples by yours truly

the first one traces a path up to his head, the second one all start from there outwards

they also gave us tips for cropping images though these dont rlly matter that much, but like for example it looks better if u dont crop it at the joints, and if a character is looking somewhere you should leave some space in the direction they are looking to! heres some doodles to show u what i mean

i used to have a document full of things like that for photography but i cant find it rn, if i do ill tell u!!

moving onto the final thing, this is not quite a composition thing but rather something to give characters more personality: make them interact w their enviroment!

rather than standing looking at the camera make them use, touch, see whats around them, even if u draw them in a blank space the way they take it up shows u a lot ab them

for ex, if theres a wall they can lean on it, if theres a window they can be looking through it(maybe u can see them from the outside! framing inside framing was also smth that they taught us in that class!) if theyre standing they can be fixing their sleeves, holding their hands behind their back, tucking a strand of hair behind their ear, scratching their neck, etc!

AND YEAH!! thats what i keep in thought when i draw!! i hope u find it at least a little useful or interesting ahdhjska ill admit i got a little carried away but i love drawing and these are topics that interest me

ty for the ask!!! 💕 👋

[awellboiledicicle]

Fido has a rather deep voice which tends to surprise people.

Largely because of the tits. Its mostly because they're lanky and have tits.

Which they have specifically because one day they went "you know, i'm already outside the binary. i'd look good with tits. I should get tits"

Which only ever bites them on the ass when they're in Faerun because every sore muscle makes them worry about something having popped after being knocked around. This manifests in a lot of "Shadowheart can you do me a super solid and take a look at something for me." and "No, but does it FEEL like it's not all together? I felt a bump but--" followed by "Do y'all have magic to make tits fat? Because i'm really attached to having tits. Do you understand." "I understand. They are, you know, attached to you. But i'm sure if you asked Gale--" "I absolutely cannot ask Gale, are you insane? I'm trying to make him think i'm sexy and you want me to hit him up for physician recs??" "Put your shirt on and go ask him. Or Halsin, i'm sure he'd have some convoluted natural remedy to being flat." "I also cannot ask nature man about that." "Then we keep doing this until you're satisfied your chest isn't going to explode because you tripped." "Fine, i'll ask Gale but if he thinks i'm weird--" "Will he think me fondling you every few days without context is weirder?" "I... good point."

Basically their only fear in Faerun are 1: parasites, 2: disease, 3: needing surgery that cannot be performed because their pact makes it so only they can hurt themselves. And they most likely have saline implants that they worry about leaking etc. Which is not as bad for them as silicone leaking into their body, but still. And if they never go 'home' again, it could be a problem.

Not pictured is Gale absolutely being willing to call in favors for them in Waterdeep later. Because he would. Waterdeep has everything, why wouldn't it have gender affirming healers.

Basically it occurred to me that i've said force and stuff still effects them and if i said they're worried about needing surgery, that's one of the main reasons they could see needing one. Appendix issues aside, anyway.