#wanting to go apeshit

[brick-van-dyke]

Okay so sort of a vent about history and Christianity, and yeah I'm gonna get personal with this and maybe emotionally hating religion at the moment, but more as a reaction than what I genuinely think of it

// TW slight mention of various genocides throughout history, and religious trauma. And abuse mention.

Not to diss my upbringing as a Christian here (but also to totally diss my upbringing asa Christian here), but looking at the history of a lot of what's going on as far as Palestine and everything bad that has happened to Jewish people ever always seems to relate back to Christians and Europe being fuckwits and messing shit up, at some point, somehow, every single time and killing every other group and ethnicity to try and "cause" Jesus to come back or to just be prejudiced little shits to literally every other belief system that isn't theirs. Like every single damn point in history where Jews or Muslims suffer and I see either Romans (either Christian or the Roman Pantheon, usually the former) or Catholics with their crusade or Evangelicals mistaking capitalism for religion like come on guys, just don't cause mass bloodshed for five fucking seconds. And then there's literally just. Everything else ever to consider.

Look, I know Christianity can be good just like how Judaism and Islam can be used as excuses to do the same stuff but god damn, the more I delve I to history the more embarassed I am just to think about how I used to be a Christian or how my dad would justify said bloodshed and shit as a paster. Every day, I just become more and more cynical especially with the idea "oh god doesn't intervene because it would ruin the Plan™" as if that matters when the ones causing the problems are those inspired by said god and I'm just so angry and frustrated that I can be torn apart and wish I could do anything to help but no if there is some cosmic being, they are sitting back refusing to do anything when they can stop this by just, at least, revealing that this wasn't the original intention. And damn, if it was I'd be going to Lucifer's side because that's even more fucked up.

This is why the only gods I'd worship are pantheons like the Greek Gods or Roman or Norse or anything else because at least the gods ACKNOWLEDGE they do fucked up shit and don't hide behind "I'm perfect so if you feel empathy and sadness for people and justifiable anger at the injustices you see clearly YOU'RE the one in the wrong for not trusting me enough" and a nice little facade, they just threaten you and be done with it. Like, yeah, if my dad punched me in the face of stop trusting him that shit is EARNED. If a god demanded trust while allowing people in his care to die, why should I just. Pretend that isn't wrong? Act like somehow caring is wrong? If caring is a sin I'd rather be guilty of it.

And then there's the stuff in my own life that I feel guilty of feeling angry about because I was taught to feeling fucking guilty of being angry about. All because old men from forever ago decided No Actually God Told Me To Say This and then told people that being angry at god for the pain in their lives makes them weak and sinful and shit. Like come the fuck on as if that wouldn't give a child issues. And then when I didn't do that like a good little Christian child, aka internalizing everything and numbing myself repetitively, the one thing that did make me question god despite all the bullshit that already existed ever was literally the story of Moses because I felt like it was unfair and the kids in Egypt didn't deserve to be punished for the pharaoh. And somehow that is supposed to make me feel guilty? Like nah be it then or now, the fact that I'm angry and horrified? Distrustful? Absolutely abhorred with the idea of allowing injustice? That comes from love and that comes from kindness. Fuck shaming love, hypocritical ass doctrine.

And don't get me started on the ahistorical propaganda bullshit I was taught at church because, considering it mostly came from my dad who was the paster, I may actually just come to hate him for it. Not completely like cut off hate, but damn if I don't have a grudge. Literally took most of my young adult years unlearning so much bullshit and I'm only just starting to unravel it. If god was present, I'm pissed almost solely for the fact he didn't speak the fuck up and allow a kid to get mentally fucked.

Oh and we don't even want to go into the separate trauma, like the literal abuse that I decided to forgive to be The Better Person and believing genuinely that hating god for what happened made me a bad person like I already was dealing with undiagnosed C-PTSD I didn't need the religious trauma convincing me to feel ashamed of being traumatised.

Anyway yeah I'm feeling a lot of rage tonight and realising how traumatic Christianity was for me growing up actually. Like. Wow.

[blueboybot]

I want a fic where Danny is adopted but not by the JL but a villain. BUT! It is a very minor villain to the point where people are absolutely gobsmacked when he calls the villain dad, like everyone just stops what they're doing and watches the interaction. Bonus points if they find out that Danny is an absolute powerhouse monster and wonder what entity away from God's light did they fuck to have him.

"That's your son?"

"Yes."

"The glowing white haired teen?"

"Yes."

"The same glowing white haired teen that just froze a star and then ate it?..."

"Yes! And?"

"THE FUCK YOU MEAN "AND?", HE JUST ATE A STAR!!"

___________

Danny in a less than human form: *screeching*

"Scream all you want but you still have school tomorrow and you're going."

Danny: *leaves taking the cold and weirdness with him*

"Sorry about that, he gets a bit cranky when he has to take a nap."

The rest of the villains in the meeting terrified: Oh...

___________

"It would much easier if you got your son to help with your task."

"Absolutely fucking not! He's not going to do ANY vigilante/villain bullshit if I have any say in it."

"You have the ultimate weapon at your side and you-"

"My son is blessing not a weapon, I advise you to NEVER speak about him like that ever again."

____________

Villain, threatening JL Hero: Tell your kid stay away from my son, he doesn't need any of that shit yall bring into his life.

JL Hero: What?

____________

Personally I like to imagine this somebody as Kite-Man but that's just me, use whoever yall like.

[chthonic-kids]

y'all

[inkskinned]

sure i find you in my hair and under my pillow and in the car. but i know in my heart you are picking me out of your teeth. i know i am burning through your sundays, sticking to your ceiling.

i hope i'm in every bitter cup of coffee and every candle wick and every bath. i hope my shadow flickers under your door so the empty hallway i have left behind is a swift dart of nothing more. i hope you find me in notebooks and stop signs and fleetwood mac - like i am marginalia on your life, i want my fingerprints burned into your days like acid.

i loved you, and you know i loved you, and for the rest of your life i will be the person you broke. for the rest of your life i hope the shame of that runs like a cattle dog, bites at your heels. i hope every time your cup is full or the moon is a toenail or a cat is purring or a laugh is in your belly or the sky turns pink while the sun is setting - i hope you remember that someone loved you, and you crushed them in your palms. you extinguished every future i lit. i hope that haunts you.

i hope you never fucking forget it.

[cakemoney]

i do want jammer to lose his shit a bit. like, in a very real sense, he did not fucking sign up for this. the first time the wizard community reached out to him, it was a crazy political maneuver disguised as an innocent offer of education. he agreed to go to school just to find out these people won't let him go home and won't tell him anything and set him up to fail because they look down at him, so of course he left! fuck that! only now they reached out again, and he's told this is just a quick errand, a quick little magical adventure to deliver something while hanging out with his old friends and he'll be done before spring break ends, and somehow yet again there are wild power struggles that nobody told him about and now people are killing each other. he's been volunteered to save someone else's world while his friends get to party and have fun the way kids his age all do, AND he has no choice because his friends' lives may be in danger AND this fuckass rock doesn't like him even though he doesn't even want to be here. i don't think evan killing philtrum was bad, but i do think jammer deserves to freak out for once

[c-hrona]

Chapter 0: The End.

First chapter of my Trigun post-canon AU.

CHAPTER 01

It will roughly be 10 chapters and all in manga style :3c It will have a lot of gayearning and feels ywy So prepare, this is gonna be fun.

You can find an HD version of it on my Ko-fi.

From next month, I'll upload the new pages directly on my Ko-fi page, as soon as I finish them. Then, after the chapter is done, I'll post it whole on my social media!

Thank you so much fro reading, lmk what you think!!!

[little-pondhead]

in my humble opinion, dorathea should look more badass

also this turned into perspective practice by accident?? didn't want her to be a floating neck i guess

[squuote]

rewatching shows with friends. shoulda been more betty episodes smh

[zaunbinary]

i have this fucked up half baked au that takes place sometime in act three after ishas death and viktors third resurrection where singed fished silco out from the lake and turned him into a shimmer fueled cyborg and they work with the machine herald to take zaun back and also jinx is there but i only have 1/3 of a brain cell and lack the artistic ability to express it in any way other than this image

[baronafanas002]

The baron fucking snaps

[devilmeows]

artfight attack for @barrenclan :)

[brobotsbro]

also since my shipping preferences are at least 50% "this would be funny as hell" .........I'm kinda feeling OP/Starscream. Can you fucking imagine. The chaos.

[potatobugz]

i am back on the jrwi grind yet again...

so sad i cant watch the rest of the suckening :( i have not a single penny to me name. im going to start a pyramid scheme so i can get like 10 dollars

[brstudios]

Manifesting a snapped angel for S3. This will be available soon in my shop, as a sticker!

[bookwyrminspiration]

"give [character] a gun" i admire the enthusiasm but character has never heard of trigger discipline before and would promptly shoot themselves. perhaps to death. can we give them something else

[staticymaticyyourlifeisatravesty]

God imagine Sanguinuis just being happy with his favourite person, he's making a low clicking sound that's coming from his throat, and his pupils are pinning due to how happy he is that he's with them, and his wings are just fluffed up to the point they look even more massive then they usually are. Him not wanting to feed from his person lest he begin associating them with prey but gives loving bites in much the same manner a cat may affectionately nip. Him getting possessive over his favourite person, and flaring his feathers, or growling lowly at the offending individual that dares to flirt with his lover, having to force himself to calm down when their touched by another, to not react when he smells something he doesn't like.

Him getting riled up when their around other primarchs because even though he innately knows nothing will happen, a part of him can't refrain from showing the sides of him that he usually oh so carefully hides from his brothers. Accidentally revealing that he's not as pure as he tries to be. That he's something far worse, something incredibly dangerous, to the point that some of his brothers no longer see him as pure, but as something that if allowed to let hunt as it pleased, would likely destroy an entire city or town, draining it of blood and flesh. Held back only by his own sheer will power and the fact he shoves it so far down he rarely feels it. Only for that to change around his favourite person because he allows himself to just be himself in all of his uncanny and predatorial glory.