#wanthimback

[cerealcoac]

man of the night

I was 18 when I fell in love with a boy that only existed at night. He smelled like citrus, marijuana and freedom - a sobering breath of crisp air at 3 in the morning. Our conversations always ended in laughter, though I sometimes wonder if he was actually funny or if it was the alcohol in our systems. He would touch me in a way no other man could ever and then he would disappear when the sun rises.

At first, I believed I would be content with the look of pure lust in his eyes when he saw me. We found each other every few weeks when he was drunk and searching, me, lonely and willing. We would talk and fuck till dawn and by morning, I would cease to exist to him.

But one morning when I woke up with my head on his chest, I realised that this would never be enough. After 2 months of deluding myself into thinking I only needed him physically, I gave in to the fact that I no longer wanted to be someone he saw 4 am after the clubs had closed. I wanted to see his bright blue eyes glimmer under the sun, not under the red glow of the club lights. I wanted him to laugh at my jokes with that same time-stopping smile in the daylight over lunch without substance in our systems.

I tried to replace him but the new boys didn’t smell of citrus and they certainly didn’t taste like freedom. They left me feeling grimy and I would strip away the bed sheets as soon as they were gone. Our conversations left me bored, annoyed, and angry at myself for letting them touch me.

I was 18 in the pub with my friends when I found out he had a girlfriend, just 2 weeks after he last asked me to come over. The pints I had downed earlier were instantly washed away by the sudden heaviness in my chest. 

She got him in the daylight. She got the version of him that didn’t need alcohol to find her interesting. She got lazy Sundays and candlelit dinners, the warmth of his hand on hers in public. I got him in the dark, when he was reckless and hungry. When his words were slurred and his touch was desperate. I was lust, a convenient body to reach for when the night was ending and he wasn’t ready to be alone. 

He was always capable of more, he just never wanted that with me.

[silverliningscloud]

at this point, he needs to beg for me to stop because there's no way i'm letting him go.

[queenjchel]

Journal

i dont have a journal! If i did, i wouldnt keep it in the house, because everyone here is very nosy. I moved back to my hometown after me and my ex boyfriend broke up, were still friends, but i miss him as my boyfriend. I was comfortable and want him in my life again, not just as a friend. I want more from him. The only thing about our relationship was he didnt wanna have sex? yea you heard me right, he didnt wanna have sex, alot of people thought he was cheating on me, he wasnt. then they thought he was gay. A lot of my people think he is gay lol. Honestly not gonna lie, at first i thought he was, but we met on tinder. He actually liked me first, i almost didnt like his profile, but then i went for it and we matched. we talked for a bit on there before we actually met and went out on our first date. the rest is history. I still love him, i wont ever stop loving him. I can say all this on here, but it wont change the fact he wants to be alone.

[satankilledmyworld]

Call Me on the phone i dont pick it up 💔

[3mptinesss]

@i.confessyourself. @i.confessyourself @i.confessyourself . . . #Confess #Confession #ConfessYourself #quote #love #hate #relationship #counselling #psychology #therapy #alone #lonely #delhi #india #friend #diary #notebook #selfnote #CYNotes #SecretLetter #moveon #missyou #wanthimback (at GIP Mall)

[feeliingss1]

„I‘m still hoping it‘s you and me in the end.“

-08.01.2018

[ydrokyanio]

[spnsmile]

It was written all over season 11 Dean ✨

#wanthimback

[lilhurtprincess]

Get drunk with me..

Let's get drunk together ,and dance till I fall down ,take me to the balcony and let's watch the stars while we're so high that we can see that stars are dancing as good as we just did , tell me about your beliefs when you were a child , tell me about your childhood , and tell me how do u wanna spend the rest of our life , hold my hand and kiss me , grab my butt and lift me up and kiss me again, kissing is free , kiss me til the sun rises , smile at me and tell me you're not gonna leave me , because in this very moment you're not lying at all, you're drunk and u still haven't forgot my name or called me another girl's name , be my hero toonight, hug me and let me smell your perfume , oooh that perfume I crave for , it's still circuling in my veins , I can recognize it between 1million other perfumes... play with my hair and bite my ear , let's feel each other's art while we're high, stick to me we're fliying elsewhere, where we gonna feel the most alive like we've never felt ❤

[hudsonpsychic]

#soulmate #inerpeace #prayer #chakra #love #womencrushwednesday #women #men #needfriends #wanthimback #wantherback #helpmehelpyou #helpme #psychic #ora #soulmates #twinflame #hudsonma

[queenjchel]

Me

So me and my ex boyfriend are friends like i said, but its to the point now, that I support him with money too, its crazy and weird i get that. Not going to lie, i think its a to keep him in my life, like honestly if I disconnect with him, i wont get to see my dog or anything like that, and i hate it. I want him in my life again, i want to try and fix things. How do i do that? How do i tell him i still love and want him?

[seelenfcker]

Bitte schreib mir. Egal was, ein Wort, ein Satz. Zeig mir einfach, dass ich dir nicht egal bin. Zeig mir, dass der endlose Kampf um dich nicht umsonst war. Zeig mir, dass ich dir noch was bedeute.

#bestfriend#misshim#cry#sadness#emptiness#wanthimback#

[olympappclub]

👋 Friends! Please give 💓 an advice to the 😔 person in this ☔ situation. Repost this or click here and download app! Perhaps thanks to you there is a solution!

[queenjchel]

IG

So i’m still following my ex on social media, and he does look at my things too, I still pay for shit, even though i’m not with him. So seeing other girls/women check out his page, it pisses me off! Me and him still talk, and connect, it’s not where i want it, but it’s there. I wish he would consider giving us another shot, i mean we don’t live together yet, im still helping him out with shit. I want to see if it goes somewhere, its pisses me off that other women keep going to his profile, well his profile is public, but then again its irritating like honestly it is.. Girls! women! leave my Lalo/teddy alone! I’m fucking serious, you look at his page again, or even message him! i will fuck you up! leave my ex/man alone Sara! i know that’s one of the females names, she talks to him through Instagram and plus found her number in his phone. Man i wish i could do some other shit.