#wanted to make a tight friend group of 20-somethings just figuring things out

[luckyfrog]

some splatoon ocs i put together during artfight this year 🦑 i got jealous of everyone's cute squids so i made my own 😫💘

[oubliette-odette]

The Reluctance of Love Pt. 28

Heyo! How would you feel if I said that I finally have details of the ending basically ironed out the way I want and have about 20 more chapters planned for you? Honestly, I'm kind of stoked, because I think what I have planned is pretty great. When I first started writing about Drunrag and Altan, it was supposed to be just a couple of short chapters of fluff and nothing more, but my own journey figuring out my sexuality and stuff opened up a door that made my curious mind and heart wonder, "But what if there's more to Drunrag? What is there's more to Altan? And their story?"

And so here we are, basically writing a novel at this point for a small but lovely group of people who all say really nice things about my boys even though I never consistently schedule out my chapters and have spent more time writing about our boys apart than together. (I'm so sorry for all of that).

Someday I hope to be better at interacting with you guys because you all are so funny and sweet and I think we'd all be friends irl.

Take care and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Orc Male x Half-Elf Male, Fated Mates, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26 Content Warnings: unhealthy parent dynamics All orcish is from orcishdictionary.com, created by Matt Vancil.

Altan POV

I was used to the weight of my brothers laying on top of me. It was a comforting feeling to be weighed down by Robin’s warmth. Only his soft breathing cut through the quiet of the night. Everything was dark and simple, formless shadows in my vision. I could make out the shape of the guard who stood at the door, but nothing more. I had been lying awake for what felt like hours, just listening, thinking, and imagining. I had spent countless nights imagining while laying in this bed, tonight I couldn’t stop myself from pretending the weight on my chest belonged to Drunrag’s arm as he held me in his sleep and the soft breath tickling my neck was his. I could see his rough hands brushing against my arm, as he pulled me closer to him. He would be warm next to me and I would be helpless to not be drawn to it.

Drunrag had to be alive. I didn’t feel it in my bones like I hoped, but I held onto that belief, it was all I had.

I heard the cracking of a door opening and suddenly a strip of light exposing the torchlight from without, in the hallways. I did not move, but watched with narrowed eyes.

Selhar slipped in, and I heard him give a sharp retort to something that the guard had said to him. The door closed and the room returned to darkness again. I heard the guard resettle into his position in front of my door and then felt the warmth of Selhar sidle into the space next to me.

“Everything alright?” I whispered.

He hummed softly.

“Good news?”  I asked.

He hummed again.

“Well?”

I felt his hand tap me on my side and I reached for it. I felt a paper drop from his hand into mine and I grasped it tightly. I held it to my chest and willed sleep to come quickly so that I could read it in the morning.

Yet, in the morning, I was awoken to my doors being banged open and my father’s shouting voice. 

“What’s going through your head, son?” I blinked up blurrily and felt Selhar and Robin’s bodies tense next to me. Feeling that shot me awake and I rose up, keeping the paper crumpled tight in my hand. “Do you have any idea what you are doing?”

I raised my chin and held his gaze. 

“What you’re demanding cannot be done.” My father continued. His posture and his facial expression reminded me of a snarling beast, a rabid dog, foaming at the mouth and chomping to dig his teeth into me.

I put a hand on Robin and Selhar, each on either side of me and shifted to sit myself in front of them. “What exactly is so impossible? He is alive, isn’t he? I don’t find my request all that unreasonable.” I kept my voice light, but I knew my father caught the hardened expression on my face. He hated me, and while that used to be the thing I feared most and went through painful obstacles to prevent and avoid accepting, I finally exulted in that reality. We both understood where one another stood, and that gave me power. 

“Selhar, Robin, leave the room.” My father didn’t look away from me when he growled the demand.

“No.” Selhar said, his voice was venomous. 

Robin said nothing, but I could see his head shifting between myself and my father. He was too young to understand, and too young to be subjected to this version of my father. 

“Selhar,” I said softly, “Take Robin outside.” I turned my head and I saw the silent pleading on my brother’s face.

“Altan.” He breathed.

I shook my head. “I’ll be alright. Go.”

Selhar’s eyes darkened and he looked behind me to where our father stood. He grabbed Robin by the arm and pulled him off the bed and towards the door. The guards that stood there silently moved aside. 

“A moment with just my son, please.” The Duke said to the guards and they followed my brothers out the door.

I remained sitting, the paper in my hand, my heart pounding, but my face passive. It would be alright. Soon the dam would burst, and it would be over. 

“I had believed that we were on the same page when the Red Hunters brought you to me. But I see that you are more spiteful and ungrateful than ever before. Why do you resist this? After all I’ve done for you?”

“Talking about this doesn’t fix things. It never has.” I answered calmly. “I’ve told you what I want. The wedding will not happen unless you bring me Drunrag alive.”

“No.” He said. “That will never happen.”

I had to hold my face together, had to remain strong like stone. “Then for the safety of our people, I cannot agree to this wedding.”

“What nonsense are you talking about?” He exasperated. “You keep speaking about the safety of our people. From what?”

I blinked slowly before answering. “It wasn’t obvious to you what I meant?” I smiled meekly. “I mean you, father. You are no longer fit for your position. And you may think that because I am your son that that means my witness means nothing, that the council will simply laugh me off my theatrics as an ungrateful, spoiled child. But I am prepared for that, and they will listen to me.”

“You’re threatening me.”

“Yes. If that’s how you wish to see it.” I said. “I already told you the games would end. I won’t subject Selhar or Robin to what you did to me.”

“What I did to you?” I caught the way his entire body was slowly clenching, like a wild cat ready to pounce. “I did what I had to!  Do you forget the debts I’m trying to pay off? The measures I’ve gone through to prevent economic collapse to our people? I let your mother coddle you because I thought it was what was best, I had to fight bigger battles than that and yet I’ve been proven again and again I was wrong to do so.”

“My mother at least told me she loved me.” I said, and I saw his eyes flash with disdain, “To her I was her child, her son. But you were more concerned about how I could benefit you in your plans and what you could do to cover up the flaws that made me undesirable for them.”

I finally slipped off the edge of my bed and walked towards him. “Without repeating myself too much, this isn’t really a conversation that helps either of us. We know one another 's motives. I know you wish me to be your pawn to pay off the debts you accrued and I want the prisoner Drunrag - wherever  you have him - brought  before me and the Council where a decision will be made that protects us and his people and benefits both sides.”

That was when my father smirked, “And how exactly do you plan to accomplish such a feat? As you said, the Council will hear me before they will ever listen to you.”

I lifted my chin. “We shall see.”

“Your plans won’t work, son.” He said, and he sighed. 

“This is what you wanted from me, isn’t it?” I asked. “I’m finally taking charge and doing something. You should be proud that I’m finally taking responsibility..”

“Son, this is not what I meant.”

I smiled wryly, ‘I’m aware, but I’m not really afraid of what you think you can do to me.” I yawned and raised my chain as I regarded him. “Was this all you wanted to speak with me about?”

“Altan.” His tone felt like a warning.

I lifted my eyebrows, “Yes?”

He held his tongue and held my gaze for an uncomfortably long period of time before he sighed and I saw his body release a portion of his tension. He stepped back, “You will learn the hard way it seems.”

He walked out of the room with no other words. 

I unwrinkled the paper from my hands and recognized Commander Gideon’s untidy scrawl,

I cannot return to the Great Hall, but I am safe. Your brother was very clever in finding me - and just in the matter of time. Thank you for the information you gleaned from the Lady of Triel. I agree with her that this evidence is enough to topple the powers that be. I trust the Gods are on our side and our efforts will not be in vain. 

Doxxah believes they are familiar with the herbs that Lady Allara may be under and is researching for an antidote that may help Allara resist the effects on her mind.

I believe I was able to locate the Red Hunter’s hideout, or at least one of them. There is no guarantee that Drunrag will be there, but I promise I will not give up until he is found. I do not know how long I will be, but if you are in an emergency and need refuge, you will find allies at the Soaring Elk. It’s near the edge of town and few guards ever travel there. You will be safe there for as long as you need.

Selhar said quite confidently that he believes you will win this battle, and I believe him to be right. Whatever the future holds for you, I know it to be good. For you, and for your beloved.

My loyalty goes to you,

G.G.

I folded the paper again just as Selhar returned, sans Robin. “What happened?” He asked urgently.

I shook my head, “Nothing yet. I don’t think father is ready to make the next move yet.”

“What are you going to do next?” He asked. “Father knows you’re opposing him, he’s going to fight back.”

I nodded, “Yes, but I think he still misunderstands me and won’t expect my next move.” I sighed. “At least I hope that’s true.”

“I think you’ve definitely rattled him.” Selhar’s voice lowered. “I think if the guard hadn’t been there, he would have hurt you.”

“He didn’t.” I said. “And he won’t. Not anymore. Have you had any luck finding that vial?”

He shook his head, “Nothing, I’ve been through Father’s office twice. There’s nothing.”

“How do you get around so easily?” I exclaimed. “You’re honestly terrifying.”

He grinned. “Mum taught me.”

I felt like my heart softened. Of course she did. I reached and tussled his hair. “I’m going to be summoning a meeting with the Council, would you join me and bear witness to father’s crimes?”

He let out a breath, one that felt like the release of something, “It would be my honor.”

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@eltrolodecadadia

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@carjis

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

5.4.23 Thursday

7:02 am

Early in the morning this Uncle Jun is having his old pattern of negative behavior again...

He is trying to have an argument...

My nana/grandmother open the TV now and the channel went back coz yesterday I sent message to Dasca Cable that our TV channel here went black out....So, I requested a home service check.

Then ,this Uncle Jun all of a sudden insisting that even the TV Cable of the neighbour beside us he suddenly said no! They don't have channel cable as well... I don't like his grouping this Uncle Jun even family of Kuya Efren if he is able to control.

I went to Kuya Efren's house just to check the TV Cable connection and Anne went out yesterday and I asked her a favour that if she can check if there is a TV Cable Channel.... Anne opened the TV and they have TV Cable Channel.

This negative Uncle Jun keeps insisting that no! They don't have as well a TV Cable Channel...

My point I'm not gonna go down coz he wanted me to just follow his instructions...I know how to respect people but controlling my own observation and conclusion, that thing I'm not accepting!!!

If they are on Uncle Jun,I don't like them!

Sometimes,Uncle Jun is insisting a wrong situation and I don't like him for that or making-up stories, I don't like him for being that way...

My relationship on Uncle Jun is just decent. But not really my ideal life to be with forever coz they are keeping something that I can't figure out...

This RV early in the morning as well are asking a favour on me weirdly that if he can put all of his computer box in my room...Huh??? I said huh? My room is loaded of my stuff...Then, he said ohkay I'm gonna put this on the extra old room....Shocking this am!!!

Not sleeping in my room coz I don't have ac there and it is super hot... If there is no ac in my room whew! It's like you are inside the oven...

Special Note:

The dangerous character of Uncle Jun, he can twist the story in the way he wanted, a special secret of some Cavite people.

8:13 am

Angels of death or life or my guardian angels.

This is my text on Uncle DD... Coz probably he will act again on getting angry on me coz all the fundings is on him... Coz they had have deal on my Aunt Teresa since 2007? Plus,the black car???

To avoid the excess expenses just give us our food providence...But this is still a "tight-budgeting"...Chipay!

2:42 pm

I still have the windblow trap... I still wanna leave the hometown...I still have this self-pity...

I wanted to see donkey and camel... I wanna buy starbucks everyday... I miss going to gym...

I hate women who will just want my support no! If they are not my gf's or friends... But if they did something at my back for 16 years, I want them to pay me for the lost 16 years of my life...

I feel fat and ugly... I feel bitter that I lost my social life on my rightful category. I'm a college graduate and I feel intimidated if they are better than me...

3pm

I feel so frustrated... I feel jealous on women now... I want my own glow... I can't get it for 16 years since this windblow came into my life... I feel bitter!

6:19 pm

Uncle Jun is already here...

I have slight headache and I have a slight headache that I kinda feel heavy that I need to stretch again... I feel stress living here with weird Uncle Jun, not really my ideal life...

I feel frustrated and for people behind everything I know there will be karma for them... I'm praying for that... I feel hurt for this windblow trap since 2007...

8:20 pm

I still have the windblow trap and I feel bitterish... I feel frustrated.... Still, thinking of old friends, people that I met before from my different work fields, people on TV and linking with them, people here and there but why??? Why?

Why, me? They, smashed me since 2007...They wanted to steal my personality and they took away my xfactor...They took away my self-esteem and self-confidence... Unfair bad Monkey's in Philippinea forest of wild animals...

I wanna leave the hometown... I miss going to gym... I miss having social life...

Another Truth:

I've been here in this house, house of my adoptive parent's since I was 13 years old... My grandparent's house was on the 3rd street from our street here,where you can find the basketball court and playground...

But before we came here, we were in Manila, Makati and Quezon City. We were always inside the compound or village where you can see middle-class life or middle-class people.

8:43 pm

Now, I feel self-pity... I need money and I need a self-fulfillment coz of this windblow trap everything were aborted unfairly, all my dreams and plans collapsed...

8:59 pm

Bitter-Strange... Bitterish... Bitterness...

9:18 pm

I feel super intimidated on women now that I don't feel before.... I mean my emotion wasn't perfect, I had intimidation but not this way coz my intimidation now is having a mix of anger and jealousy.... I have windblow angels... 16 years ,they don't take me seriously... To the point that I wanna stab men particularly...

[kelsstars]

CARL!GRIMES X INNO!READER

Hello Hun!! I saw your Carl grimes smut and wanted to request something, hope you are taking requests rn.

So Y/n has been at Alexandria since the start, she loves wearing skirts and things that would hug her figure thinking it’s alright (she has a lot of confidence) . It’s been a couple since Carl and his group came so like he is (20) while Y/N is (22) just a year older than him. Her parents at a young age were very strict and so she didn’t know about the adult things and so that’s why she’s innocent not knowing about what sex is. Y/n developed a crush on the boy, but was too shy to even speak to him as well as Carl. But sometimes he would try to speak with her.

Carl had these fantasies about her even would think about her every night. That is until he had enough waiting.

CONTAIN: Perverted!Carl, Praise & Degrading!Kink, DOM!Carl, Pleading!KINK, Foul!Language, pet names, SUB!Reader, Hair Pulling, Thigh!Riding, Virgin!Reader, Body!Worship, Dry Humping.

A/N: AAH, OF COURSE I ACCEPT REQUESTS!! THANK YOU FOR THIS, LOVE!! Also, apologies to my fellow non-female readers, my next fic will be gender neutral as I usually intend it to be. :) Physical feminine aspects of Y/N will be mentioned for this fic.

This one-shot is a bit long. 👍

Warnings/Summary: Swearing but the rest have been written above in the requests. :D

You’re a more closed-minded than others, especially considering your age. It’s not like you’re completely oblivious of the fallen world outside of the walls, nor are you new to swearing or shooting gun, but you are definitely somone who people would consider blind to adult situations. Shit, you didn’t know why everyone would make it a big deal when you ask where babies actually come from. Truth is, you were raised beyond strictly under a bubble made by your parents, even before the collapse of society.

Alexandria was an all time safe place for you, but you felt like it was a lot more secure after a certain group arrived. He helped with so much, most people in Alexandria didn’t even notice that a drought was slowly building up, and Rick and his group fixed it. In other words, you were grateful for them entering your home. Especially, a certain someone, Rick’s son, Carl. You were always so reserved that it never crossed your mind that actually speaking to him could help further more in your interest on him. You admired him, you couldn’t lie to yourself, and in your hopes and dreams you wished on every star that he reciprocated your feelings. You had lived most of your life inside these walls, you couldn’t fall in love like the comics you read thousand and thousand of times. Enid, Mikey and Ron were some of the friends you grew up with, you couldn’t bring yourself to like them like that. It didn’t help your case that every time you and Carl had to be in a room together, you would always look away from how your head filled with ‘naughty thoughts’. By naughty, you meant holding hands, complementing and chatting with Carl while you strolled through the neighborhood. Was love supposed to feel this way? You felt as if something was missing. Nonetheless, you didn’t know, and as far you knew, Carl would probably have more knowledge on this topic than you. You completely forgot that you were at a sleepover at Enid’s house, she was old enough to own one according to Rick and others. You always wore simple clothing that showed your body figure, you were proud of it. It was nothing new for other people, you always had tight clothing that could show any of your body’s layout. While you were zoning out with your daydreaming, Enid speaks up to everyone in the room.

“Okay okay. Carl,” she announces as she turned everyone’s attention to the freckled man. “you lost the best, so I decided on what you can do to entertain us. You have to take Y/N to your secret hideout outside the walls.”

You don’t even remember what they were talking about neither did you really pay attention to what Enid had just spouted, but your name was mentioned and that snapped you back into reality, you look around to see the big 3 laughing at Carl as his face turned red.

He hesitates speaking first but eventually comes to it. “Like, alone?”

“Alone alone.~” Enid laughs her ass off right after this, while Mikey whistled in the background, which only reinforced everyone’s laughter. “Don’t forget to tell us details, eh?” She leaves that statement with a grin on her face, they were just teasing him like always.

That must have left Carl mad because the moment he turned to face you and smiled at him, he bolted out of the room immediately, looking red. You didn’t even realize that you followed him outside, until he had turned out to face you walking behind him.

He starts walking away quicker. “Carl, wait!” You raise your voice and he immediately stops his tracks to turn around to look at your face. “What was Enid talking about alone? I know it sounds like a stupid question, I might have gotten lost in thought again.” You half-smiled and chuckle out of embarrassment because this was one of the few few times you had interacted. It was always Carl who initiated all of your small chats, you always gave a half-assed excuse to hide your stuttering voice every time he did so.

“Y/N. I—“ He stops talking to take something to process and mumble to himself, you didn’t know why so you just lifted one of your eyebrows, confused as to what could be troubling his thoughts. In your eyes, Carl always was someone so composed when speaking. “Hey, did little-miss-perfect ever try to sneak out of the walls?” His demeanor changed completely, it just left you shocked, but you still shake your head no. “If you try sneaking out with me, I’ll tell you what Enid was talking about when you were zoned out. I noticed you must have missed that part.” Carl flashes a smile at you, just that made your heart melt, so you smile back.

“Well, as long as you never tell anyone that I actually sneaked out!” Carl eyes your outfit up and down, you didn’t know if it was your imagination but you started feeling weird inside, in a good way.

When Carl was helped you climb over the walls, you could interpret a few strange things might have happened when it was your turn to go down. As you carefully slid down the outer of Alexandria, you managed to somehow trip yourself. Luckily, it was a small fall, you basically landed on your feet, but Carl immediately went kneeling to you and put his hands slowly up and your pants. He slowly rubbed the inner sides of your thighs, your behind and down to your ankles. You may have not probably reacted much to this on the outside, but you were freaking out on the inside, the way he massaged your legs and so so near your core. What was happening to your mind right now?! He could be simply checking for injuries! You were wearing thigh leggings so that must have been it. You look at how he smiles at this act, you try to pretend to hear it, maybe he was lost in something.

You continue to follow him to this small shed, it looks horrible on the outside, and you immediately refused to enter.

“Yeah, Carl, I’m not entering that.” You stop your track.

“C’mon, Y/N. You do realize this is our first time hanging out alone? Let’s make the most of it!” You couldn’t tell if he winked or blinked at you, having a crush on a guy with one eye was harder to take hints from.

You continue walking towards his direction. “Is that what Enid was talking about when she said ‘alone alone’?” Carl stops for a moment and then enters the shaggy shed. “I guess it’s a yes.”

The moment you enter, the shed was actually in good shape, especially with how the outside looks in comparison. Carl tells you he cleaned it up himself and invited you to sit by him, on a bed. You do so as you continue chatting on random comics you have read from Enid’s collection until you run out of topics. For a second, he made you forget about the apocalypse and everything bad about this world, he was the shining light this place needed.

“Ah, Carl, you have no idea how happy I am to be here with you.” You lay your back on the bed, as he turned your gaze upon you. “We need to come here more often.” For awhile, Carl didn’t respond. He just looking at you with a soft look on his face, every part of you, you felt like he could see through your skin with that glare. But suddenly, he got up.

“Sorry, I- I need to use the rest room.” Before you could even answer, he hurriedly goes to the bathroom connected to the bedroom you were in. You wait. And wait. And wait once more. You had enough and get up to knock on the door.

“Carl, is everything okay?” You hear the muffled sounds inside the bathroom stop.

“Yeah, just having to take care of something.” His voice sounded.. frustrated? Like he’s holding something.

“You can tell me, if you want I can help with it!” You happily say, as you witness the bathroom door open and he peaks out.

“Are you sure you can keep that?” He looks like those kids refusing to leave their room.

“A hundred percent!” You giggle and extended your arm to him.

That must have triggered something in him because as soon as you extended your hand out, he grabbed it and pushed you onto the bed. You felt like you were burning up, as he put his long hair on a small low ponytail and got on top of you, smiling from ear to ear.

“Y/N, you can’t be this innocent. There’s no way possible way.”

“I.. don’t get it.” He looked like a walker with the way he was about ready to devour you whole.

“Did you ever get taught about what sex, masturbation, erections?” He raises an eyebrow, waiting for your answer.

“The what now?” You’re confused, to say the least. You heard those words before but you never really taught what they were.

“Fuck’s sake, I want to ruin you by the minute.” His breath is becoming more and more loud, and your heart keeping up with the same pace. “If you want, I can teach you what they are.” You nod almost instantly, if it meant it could get you closer with him. Carl moved his position to siting by the side of the bed again, leaving his hat on the bed side table. “Sit on my thigh. Each leg open on one side of my leg.” He sounds demanding, but also desperate.

You do exactly as what he says, you didn’t know how this would help until he grabs your hips to guide your waist to move along your clit along his leg. Your body doesn’t know how to react. The friction of your legging clothed pussy and his jeans, you never felt such pleasure before, your legs trembled a lil’ as Carl kept guiding you with his hands. Your arms wrap around his neck as you breathe on his neck. He continues to speed up, little by little, as he starts kissing your cheek and eventually, you. It was your first time kissing, you didn’t expect to be in such a place and form. After you break out of the kiss, his teeth beam and he hears you moan out his name and your begging to continue.

“Carl, pleasee- hghn- more! More!” In another moment, you would never utter these words but your brain barely functioned at the hands of Carl Grimes.

“More what, baby?” He whispers on your ear, he obviously wants to tease around you.

“Faster, make the mov..ement fast.” At this point you’re the one moving your own hips, he basically put his hands there as a decoration.

“Beg for it, move them yourself and moan my name. I’ll make sure you’ll be compensated, let me spoil you tonight.” Those words were gonna drive you crazy. You pick up your own pace and speed up the process. He kept making small praises in your ear on how good you were doing, god damn it, Grimes. You definitely didn’t predict he was interested in you.

You finally finish on his leg, catching your breath as Carl fills your face with kisses. “Who’s a good girl, huh? Who’s Carl’s obedient princess?” You couldn’t even properly answer. You gave a weak ‘me’ as you rest you head on his shoulder.

“Why are you resting?” He lifts up your face with his hand. “We’re getting started, didn’t I say I would rewards you?” You thought you were tired but hearing him made you gain energy once more. “What we just did is called thigh riding, I see you enjoyed it.” He places another kiss on your lips, and you return it.

His hands slowly make their way to your shirt and he begins to lift it off your body, Carl also takes notes to take off your bra before lying you down. “Oh, what do we have here?” You rise your head a little to see what he is about to do but your head yanks itself back as Carl’s finger started playing with your nipples. He pinches, slight pulling and sucking around your chest to hear you moan so loud in his ear.

If this is how you acted before he was inside you, he didn’t know how he would control himself when that moment comes.

He goes on your body, eventually reaching your pants. Carl goes back up to face you, eye to eye. “Ya’ sure you want me to go through everything?”

“Carl, hurry the fuck up.” You furrowed your eyebrows, you were happy he contained himself to even ask, especially after everything, but upset that he doesn’t go straight to whatever he wanted to do.

“Well, I tried to restrain myself.” He immediately takes off your soaked pants and panties, putting them somewhere aside the end of the bed. “Look at this!” Carl positions his fingers around your wet pussy. “Don’t you feel like a lil’ whore?” He moves this finger around, doing circles. You felt so sensitive, trembling from the mere touch of his skin near your private area and him degrading you. “What a pretty slut. Do you wish for more?” You already knew the answer. So did he. Carl felt good knowing that he finally could touch you like this and be able to tease you around for your first time. “I can’t wait to show you off when we get back.”

But he suddenly stopped. Pulling his hand away. You, as well, raise up to stand on your knees on the bed, only to notice that he is using his hands to help take off his shirt and pants. It was the first time you noticed his bulge and also your first at seeing a dick. It was directly pointing you, slightly curved upwards, its colors just matched him, a faint red blush color on his tip. You were admiring it so much, Carl had to snap his finger to get your attention again.

“What were you thinking about?” He asks, trying to sound pissed off but he couldn’t smirk at this situation.

“Uh.. Uhm… Your male sexual organ?” You let out an awkward smile.

He laughs. “Call it whatever, but I’m impatient for head.”

“Head?” You question him.

“A blowjob?”

“…”

“You really are asking to be fucked silly. Basically, lick and suck my cock, Y/N.” He smiles at your innocence yet to be crumbled by his hands. You, on the other hand, had to understand how you could give him the same satisfaction that he had given you previously.

You slowly start licking and putting him in your mouth. He silently groans and moans the more you take in, which you make a mental note of. But after it’s all in, you don’t know if you should move. “Sorry, beautiful.” Carl decided for you, as he grips your hair on his hand and bops your head back and forth. You were shocked at how fast he was going, so you work your way to keep up with him. The faster you go, the more lewd his voice sounded to you, it felt good hearing you complement you. “Fuck, baby, you look so pretty with your lips around my dick.” He huffs between your motions. When he finally reached his climax, he came inside your mouth. You didn’t know what to do. Were you supposed to swallow it? Spi-

“Swallow.” And you did so on command. Two hours ago, when you left home for that sleepover, you would have never suspected that THIS would be the outcome of your night.

“Is it over?” You ask him, you were sure you weren’t going to sleep that night.

“It should have but it seems, I can go up for more.” He grins at you as he pointed to his crotch, it was still up. Fuck’s sake, can you ever catch a breath around this lovable pervert?

“I’ll take it care of it.” He smiles. “IF!” His smile drops. “If you promise this is the last for tonight.” You made it sound like you were prepared to repeat this more times with him, which only excited him more.

“Of course, I’m going to respect your wishes.” Carl softly kisses your cheek, before he gets up to get a condom. You were innocent, but you at least remember what your parents called those. ‘Baby preventers’.

After he rolls the condom on top of his dick, he starts making out out until your head is placed on pillows and your body is placed right in-front of his eye. This was a view he wanted to enjoy looking at it for a long time. And hey, you were pretty prideful on your body, but the way Carl had you exposed, you try to hide it the best you can. That only pissed him off because he uses his left hand to lock both your arms in a trance by your wrist above your head. Whilst the other hand explored your naked body.

“You got such a pretty body, it’s perfect for me. This is ten times better than my imagination.” His eye softens as his hand reaches your waist. “May I enter?”

You knew this will mean he will put himself in you, but you were so nervous if he thought of you as gross. This feelings disappears as soon as he slowly places his tip and enters you. You gasp, as then slowly sigh. He stays still, both of you not used to this feeling.

“Can I move, Y/N?” You nod and he starts speeding up his activity. You both moan in synch, then he bites his lip, trying to shush himself to hear you cry out for him. “Jesus Christ, you’re squeezing me alive..” Quicker and quicker, he’s driving your mind somewhere else, not even he has enough breath to tease you, but for you it was sufficient that he just kept giving you that sweet look. He hurried his thrusts into you, making your back arch. You were glad Carl was your first time, who else could be so rough but so caring?

“Y-Y/N, I’m so close, can you handle it just a bit more?” He began stuttering, he was so close to his limit.

“Just keep going, sweetie.” You used your right hand to lift your body a little to kiss his cheek. Carl takes that opportunity to thrust one last time to finish. He re-organizes the bed for you and cuddles with you as he whispers sweet words into your ears, dozing off to your deep slumber.

It’s been a couple of weeks ever since that night at the shed. No one in Alexandria knew , for the exception of the perpetrators themselves, you and Carl. Your relationship and feelings did grow, but you wanted to make sure if he was serious about you, which Carl constantly showed through his actions. He happened to be at your house as you were cooking breakfast.

“Heyyy, Y/N.~” He hugs you from behind, probably plotting something.

“Good morning, Carl. I’m baking pancakes you want some?” You can’t really turn around to kiss him, you were too busy to trying not to mess up these pancakes.

“Oh, y’know… Just wanted to greet you.” He starts brushing his erect crotch against your back.

“Grimes! What if someone walks in?” You weren’t really worried as you were behind a counter but, you were concentrating on not fucking up your breakfast.

“And who will stop me?” He slowly positions your back and starts picking up speed with his crotch, making you put ur hand on your mouth to muffle the lewd noises he liked to hear. “Who could possibly come i-“

“CARL!” Tara just opens my door and walked into the kitchen. “I knew you’d be here. Your dad is looking everywhere for you, get back home, we got a new scavenge layout plan for tomorrow.”

We both look at each other, giving a small smile for how we were relieved Tara didn’t catch us.

“Also, leave Y/N alone, weirdo. Other people might see through your open window.”

“Shit.”

[peanutpinet]

Yuta (cold mafia boss)

Prompt: 20)“The only time a man should be fast is when he’s trying to dodge my bullets.” - 100 Dialogue Prompts for Mob Boss AUs

A/N: since NCT 127 have decided to attack us since Friday with all their day/night posts and whatever more things they still got in the back storage, I just gotta do some fics about the dark concept, cause like, yea XD. I asked my friend whose bias is Yuta to choose a prompt and so, here we are XD

Warnings: some form of harassment, cursing (it's Yuta) drinking, spiked drink and hint of kidnapping

It was a Friday night and you were more than excited to finally have some time off to hang out with your boyfriend, Yuta, who was also part "gang leader" of NCT, an infamous group that people thought do illegal doings when they're the ones shutting the illegal businesses down.

Yuta being Yuta didn't disclose what he did from the beginning. But he also never fully tell you everything which, is understandable, it was confidential information. Despite so, Yuta never restricted your movements and you both would have some normal cafe dates, picnic dates, etc. Even so, there will be times where Yuta would have you do some personal training that includes self-defence, quizzes about types of chemicals, guns, etc. In his defense, he just wants you to be prepared should something goes wrong and you're alone.

Despite following Yuta's needs, you would sometimes joke about how it won't happen or that Yuta will make sure it wouldn't go too far or even if anything did happen, you were sure that Yuta would eventually find a way to make things right. Boi, were you in for a treat.

As mentioned, you were finally going to have a night out with Yuta after so long and had just finished getting ready when you received a text from Yuta saying, "hey love, sorry this is super last minute but could you change into a more black-tie dress code? We are sort of having a business dinner tonight and I want to bring you as my date. I'm on my way to pick you up right now. Don't worry, you don't have to put on anything you're uncomfortable cause whatever you wear, you still look hot to me ;)"

So of course you did what Yuta asked. You changed into a simple long black dress that fitted your figure and touched up your makeup a bit more and let your hair down. As you were putting on the last of your accessories and about to put your shoes on, Yuta was already ringing the bell. You quickly opened the door for him and told him that you were just going to put your shoes on which Yuta chuckled and helped you as he saw you struggling.

"You didn't have to go all out and wear heels babe, you'll have sore feet by the end of the night" Yuta mentioned, holding you steady as you were putting on your heels

"I mean, if it's just dinner, I'll just be sitting either way. You so owe me with a pizza movie night next week" you complained, finally putting your shoes

"Anything for you babe. Let's go" Yuta smiled, bringing your arm wrapped around his and helped you get into the car before he went to the driver's seat

Arriving at the dinner, you felt out of place since this was the first time Yuta actually brought you. Noticing your nervous state, Yuta wrapped his arm over your shoulder, telling you that he'll be right beside you unless you need to go to the restroom or need some personal space.

Nodding, Yuta gave you a heartwarming smile and brought you around. First and foremost, to his other members that were joining the dinner, the people you knew the week you and Yuta started dating. Allowing some weight off since how worried you were.

"Oh, (Y/N)!! Welcome!! Hope Yuta didn't force you to come here" Johnny greeted you which Yuta gave him a glare

"Well, he sorta promised me for a pizza movie night date next week, so I guess it's a winwin" you replied, chuckling

"Oooh, can we come? I miss just watching movies on the weekend" Jungwoo requested, pulling out his puppy eyes

"Maybe if you find yourself a girlfriend, I'd consider it" Yuta hissed, you hit him playfully

"Hey (Y/N), sometimes I wonder what you see in Yuta. He's so aggressive" Jungwoo joked as Taeyong tried to calm everyone and directed everyone to their table since dinner was starting

Dinner surprisingly went well and the opposing business partners were actually cooperating; like, they would agree to what NCT were asking, even giving some suggestions for the corporation. But nevertheless, every NCT member were on their best guard; heck, they all had their guns rested by their hips and even knifes hidden within their clothing.

Seeing how the talk about the business bore you, you took a big sip off of the drink the waiter had just poured for you. Suddenly feeling the urge to go to the bathroom, you excused yourself from everyone at the table, nodding your head when Yuta told you to immediately come back once you're done.

However, you didn't go to the bathroom because of the urge to pee or anything. Instead, it's because you didn't feel too good, maybe the alcohol in your drink was a bit too much to your tolerance but whether you want to admit it or not, you didn't feel good and felt like you could pass out at any second.

After purging and sitting down for a bit, you felt slightly better but not good enough because everything around you was tilted. Taking a deep breath, you just kept on thinking how the dinner table wasn't that far and if you hurry, you can just make it to Yuta's side and pass out however you like.

Pulling whatever willpower you have left, you stood up and started to walk out of the bathroom. Holding onto the wall, you slowly walked down the hall back to your table, until someone came up to you, asking if you were alright which you told them that you were fine. You may be dizzy and not feeling good, but you surely weren't dumb nor were you drunk.

Despite the guy saying that all he wanted to do was to help you, you clearly knew that wasn't his true intention since he was gripping you a bit too much to your liking. You've tried pushing him away but that only made his grip tighter. And to top it off, instead of helping you to your actual table or at least asking where your table was, he brought you to a more quiet area; making your heart beat quicker.

Unfortunately, at this point, whatever was in your drink was sinking it and you slowly start to lose consciousness and hope as from what you can see, you were far from your table. But thank the universe because all of a sudden you hear a loud ring and the tight grip was gone; instead, it was replaced by a warm embrace.

"Get him out of here before I actually kill him right here and now" you heard Yuta's stern voice commanding his other members

"I got you, baby. Let's get you back home, hmm?" you heard Yuta's voice turned soft; not having any more energy, you just nodded and fell asleep in his embrace

Because Yuta felt he can't leave you alone nor not torment the people that hurt you, he decided to bring you back to NCT's place. Wiping off your makeup and putting on your skincare for you, Yuta had one of the maids help change your clothes and then he tucked you in bed; not leaving your side until he's convinced that you're fully asleep before leaving a gentle kiss on your forehead then quietly leaving the room.

Walking out of the room, he saw Jeno and Jaemin, asking them to guard your room until he gets back. Making his way to the basement, he met with the NCT members that joined the dinner that did not end well at all.

Turns out, not long after you left, the neos already had a bad feeling; that something was not right, especially since their "business partners" were eyeballing the situation around them and it was revealed that the dinner was just a cover-up and that they were planning to use you to get to the neos, which clearly did not end well for them.

"Is she alright?" Taeyong asked, seeing Yuta was fuming

"She's very much passed out the second I found her. Are they all in there?" Yuta questioned strictly

"Yea. All tied up and blindfolded on the ground" Johnny mentioned

"Good" Yuta smirked, slamming the door open, making the prisoners jerked in surprise

"Rise and shine motherf*ckers. I hope you're ready for what's coming" Yuta shouted as some of the neos took their blindfolds off

"And y'all call yourselves men. Tch. You guys may be agile but not agile enough. The only time a man should be fast is when he’s trying to dodge my bullets. Not getting caught by their enemies. And surely not looking or thinking to do anything to another person's girlfriend. Oh well, what's done is done. Be lucky that we all got there in time. But, that doesn't mean I'll go easy on you. Let's see...should I start off with your fingers because you touched my girl or your head for ever thinking that little stunt of yours. Either way, I'm definitely going to take my time with you all" Yuta ranted, a smirk forming on his face as he saw the horror of his prisoners while the neos put their blindfolds back on

A/N: yeap, this turned out longer than expected. Welp, this is what happens when NCT updates with a dark concept I guess XD

[multistan-kpopwritings]

Wanna Talk?

➟ pairing(s): Bang Chan x Reader

➟ genre(s): Angst & Fluff

➟ word count: 1.2K

➟ warnings: Language and Cheating; Friend Bang Chan

You stood outside the practice studio and kicked the tires on your car. For some reason when you turned the key in the ignition, it made a horrible sound and won't start. Shoving your phone back into your purse you clenched your fists at your side and screamed at the sky.

"Uh, Y/N, right," you heard someone say behind you. Slightly embarrassed to be caught in your tantrum, you slowly turned. Before you stood Bang Chan, leader of Stray Kids. "Are you ok," he asked? It had only been a few days since you started training as a new backup dancer for his group and didn't want to burden him.

"Things are good, thank you," you assured him, turning to your car again.

"I bet if I asked your tire, the story would be different," he chuckled, pointing to the abused tire. You covered your face and laughed.

"My car won't start," you confessed. "I called my boyfriend, but he isn't picking up. I was about to call an Uber."

"Nonsense," he said, "I'll take you home. Come on, I'm just around the corner." He started walking away, turning to see you were not following him. "Come on, let's go. I'm sure your boyfriend will be looking for you soon." He waved his hand for you to follow.

"Not gonna let it go will you," you asked, jogging to catch up. He smiled and shook his head.

The drive wasn't long, maybe 20 minutes, but in that short time, you got to know a lot about Chan. It was easy to see why everyone loved him. He was kind and caring, even if he didn't know you very well.

"So you've been dancing for as long as you could walk," he asked? "That's amazing. You have a natural talent, and it shows when you dance." He stopped the engine outside your apartment building. You spotted your boyfriend's car nearby and couldn't help but wonder why he never called you back. Shrugging it off, you turned to Chan.

"Would you like to come up for a bit? Maybe for a drink? I can show you all the embarrassing dance competition photos," you offered.

"I probably shouldn't. Won't your neighbors talk if they see you bring a strange man home," he reasoned.

"I see his car so he must be home. I'm sure he'd like to meet you," you told him. Chan finally agreed and followed you to your apartment.

"Come in. Make yourself comfortable," you said. "Jake, where are you," you called down the hall. You disappeared into a room, so Chan took the chance to relax on the couch. His head snapped in the direction you disappeared in when he heard a crash.

"Y/N," he called cautiously, "Is everything ok?" He was about to step down the hall when you appeared again, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

"I appreciate the ride Chan," you sniffled, "But right now isn't a good time." He nodded his head slightly and pressed his lips into a frown, peering over your shoulder at the man putting his shirt on. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, tomorrow," he repeated. He reached out and rubbed your arm, "Are you ok?" You nodded quickly and opened the door. As soon as the door clicked to signal Chan had left the apartment, you spun on your boyfriend.

"Was she worth it," you said through gritted teeth? He looked down at his feet and mumbled something about your schedule. "Don't you dare turn this around on me! Was our relationship one big joke to you?" You were sick at the sight of him. You made a quick decision to pack an overnight bag and leave. Slamming the door as you left, you realized you didn't have a working car. "Fuck," you screamed as you took the last stairs from the apartment building.

You spotted a familiar figure walking towards his car. You kicked yourself for even thinking about asking him for another favor, but he would have been more upset if you didn't.

"Chan, hey. Hold up," you called to him. He turned to you and gave you a tight-lipped smile. "I hate to ask you, but would you mind dropping me off at a friend's house?" He reached out and grabbed your bag, tossing it over his shoulder.

"Y/N," you heard Jake call from behind you. "You have to talk to me." He grabbed your arm and spun you around. Chan was quick and stepped between you two.

"Hands off," Chan sneered at the man before him, "Let her go." Jake eyed Chan, sizing him up. He snorted and pushed Chan to the side. Chan quickly grabbed Jake's arm and twisted it behind his back. "I think that's enough, don't you," he said into his ear as he tugged the arm further back. With a grunt, he pushed Jake to the ground and took your hand.

"Thank you," you whispered, sliding into the passenger seat. Chan assured you there was no need to thank him. The only sound that filled the car was your soft sniffles. After another quick thank you, you rushed out of the car and into your best friend's arms. Chan sat and watched to make sure you were inside before he left.

The following morning, Chan half expected you to be missing from practice. To his surprise, you were there before he was, but you didn't look like yourself. Your typical neat bun was disheveled. Instead of your typical tights and crop top, you opted for sweats and a t-shirt. It also didn't go unnoticed that you had dark circles under your now red-rimmed eyes.

It was during the Back Door dance break that it happened. You bumped into Hyunjin for the third time and he had enough.

"Are you kidding me, Y/N," Hyunjin snapped at you. "What the hell is going on? Are you even paying attention?" He continued to yell at you. Not that you blamed him, today you were sloppy and it annoyed even you. Chan tried to get to your side, but you were too quick.

"Sorry," you squeaked out as you rushed past Hyunjin and Chan. Hyunjin stared at Chan with big eyes, unsure what just happened. It wasn't his intention to make you cry.

"What the fuck was that," Changbin scolded Hyunjin.

"I-I-I-," Hyunjin stuttered, "I didn't mean to." He looked at Chan, expecting to be further scolded.

"I'll check on her. She has a lot going on," Chan assured Hyunjin, "I'm sure she didn't take it personally." Giving the younger man a quick smile, Chan rushed out of the room to look for you. He found you sitting in the corner of the hall, near an empty practice room. "What are you doing out here?"

"Door was locked," you sniffled, wiping your nose on your sleeve, "and car still doesn't start." Chan smiled and slid down the wall next to you. He leaned into your body and placed his head on your shoulder. You smiled a little at his warmth.

"Wanna talk about it," he whispered, bumping your shoulder? You moaned and leaned your head back.

"Not really," you told him, "Sorry." Chan hummed his understanding and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side.

"That's ok," Chan kissed the side of your head, "We don't need to talk." You sighed and relaxed at his side. "Just know that I'm here when you do want to talk."

[sunnyville36]

Mamihlapinatapai {part 1}

See {overview} for more info!

Pairing: Bang Chan x Female Reader

Themes: royal au, medieval au, court intrigue, arranged marriage, original characters, mutual pining, slow burn

Warnings: mentions of death/war, emotionally abusive parents

Rating: Mature

Word count: 4.2k

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mamihlapinatapai - (noun, Yagán origin) a silent acknowledgement and understanding between two people, who are both wishing or thinking the same thing (and are both unwilling to initiate)

Bond  |  Kingdom of Gu, present day

“Good morning, Your Highness,” you called, entering the prince’s room and walking to open the curtains, revealing the cloudless sky behind them.  Of course a beautiful day like today would have to be ruined by the very event you were here to collect Chan for.

Chan’s head peeked out from around the dressing panel, smiling softly as you pressed the shirt he’d clearly been looking for into his hands. “Good morning Y/n.”

“Your father’s in quite the foul mood this morning,” you said, leaving Chan to finish changing as you tidied up his dresser and prepared the many pins and beads bearing the royal crest that would adorn his formal attire for today.

You could hear the scowl in his voice as he grumbled, “Only he could manage to be upset during an event solely orchestrated by him and his insufferable band of so-called advisors.”

You nodded your head, indulging him in his ranting.  Better he get it all out now with only you here to hear than cause a scene in front of the court.  The prince took his responsibilities seriously and hardly ever openly clashed with his father, no matter how much they disagreed.  But this had been an exceedingly upsetting matter for him, and, by extension, you as well.  You’d spent the majority of the last week attempting to keep the peace between him and his father, as well as show your support for your friend as best you could.

Chan stepped out from behind the screen, and you had to stop yourself from doing a double take at the man in front of you.  A far cry from his normal outfit of loose breeches and dirtied, tattered tunics, his cleanly pressed white shirt was tucked neatly into snug fitting black trousers, accentuating his broad shoulders and trim figure.  You were sure he hated the confines of such an ensemble, but you were equally sure he would turn every head in the kingdom during today’s events, and you smiled at having the privilege to see him here first as he struck a nonchalant pose and asked, “So, how do I look?”

“Very handsome,” you replied, stepping up to pin his bright red cloak around his shoulders and set to work attaching the fineries to the outside.

“You do as well.  Look very nice, I mean,” he corrected sheepishly, pose all but forgotten and head tilting forward as a blush formed on his cheeks.

You glanced upward, smoothing his hair that had gotten tousled from his rushed dressing.  “Thank you, Your Highness,” you replied quietly.  You decided to throw in a humorous quip, hoping to lighten his mood as you finished decorating the course, red fabric.  “We couldn’t have the prince’s personal attendant looking like she’d just had a spar with a knight and lost, now could we?”

“Certainly not,” he laughed, then quieted as he continued, “And you’re still wearing the flower.”

You reached your hand absently up to the flower that was perched behind your ear, and you felt his fingertips ghost over yours as he gently pushed your hair to sit behind it.

“Of course, Your Highness.  Is it not our tradition that I wear it until it is completely bare of petals?”

“Mhmm… our tradition,” he hummed, his hand lingering next to your cheek.

“We really must be h-heading out.”  You cringed at the unsteadiness of your voice.  You needed to get out of here, needed to get him out of here.  You straightened the clasps of his cloak and tapped your hands on his chest.

“There.  Now you look like a real prince charming,” you said, forcing a smile to your lips that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

He shook his head as he half chuckled, half grimaced at your words, lips forming into a straight line.  “Then I suppose we must go meet my future wife.”

You Have My Bow  |  Kingdom of Gu, 19 years ago

“Mama, Mama, look what Papa made for me!” you squealed, bounding into your tightly-packed cottage and nearly crashing into your mother’s legs as she stood boiling soup at the stove.

Your father had taken you to the woods that morning, your favorite place to go with him when he had a rare spare moment away from the castle.  You had thought he was taking you for your usual ritual: fishing by the river’s edge in the hopes of catching something to use for dinner.  Instead, when you reached the riverbank, your father knelt down and pulled a tiny child’s bow from his knapsack, small enough to fit in your four-year-old hands.

“I’m going to teach you how to use this bow Y/n.  Not many girls will know how to, but you need to be able to fend for yourself and your mother if anything should ever happen to me.”

“Why would anything happen to you Papa?”

“Well, Papa helps the king to keep our home safe, and there are some people who might want to make it unsafe.”

“Like the Lajorans?  Or the Mirohans?  The ones with the missing princess?!  Or the Sillans?  I heard old man Jerrald talking outside the tavern, and he said Lajorans like to ...”

“Yes, just like those,” your father interrupted your enthusiastic babbling, “though you shouldn’t believe everything old man Jerrald says, alright?”  You nodded as he continued, “The king does everything he can to keep the peace, but sometimes our peoples get into fights.  Really big ones, where people use swords and bows like this.  And I want to make sure that if that ever happens, if one day a fight should come here, that you can keep yourself and your mother safe.  Do you think you could do that for me, Y/n?”

You’d agreed of course, your little body bouncing with excitement as he pulled you in for a hug then took the bow and began to show you the basic principles.  The two of you had spent the rest of the day practicing, and you couldn’t be more excited to show your mother what you’d learned.

“Y/n be careful,” your mother admonished, kneeling down to your height as she gave you a tight squeeze.  “Now let’s see what that father of yours has cooked up for you this time.”

“It’s called a boo!” you all but shouted, whipping the bow out from behind your skirts and drawing back the string in a mock archer’s pose.

“A bow, Y/n, it’s called a bow sweetheart,” came your father’s voice from the doorstep.  He crossed the small space to pull your mother into a tight embrace as he said, “And be careful with that in the house, or your mother will have my head.”  You nodded back at him and he sent you a mischievous wink over her shoulder.

Your mother turned to face him with a wary smile as you started galloping in circles, pretending to ride an imaginary horse.  “Giving our already rambunctious child a deadly weapon, Minhyuk?  You want to get her into trouble, I see.”

“Julietta, you worry too much,” your father whispered, pressing his lips to her temple in a gentle kiss.  “Besides, I’d be more concerned about the trouble she’d be in if she didn’t know how to take care of herself.”

Little did you know that everything you learned that day would soon come crashing into your life, taking many precious things with it when it left.

All That Glitters Is Not Gold  |  Kingdom of Gu, present day

You struggled to keep up as you walked behind Chan, the two of you heading to the throne room where you were sure a very short tempered King Bang would be waiting to reprimand you for your tardiness.  Sure enough, when the guards opened the doors, you saw the king pacing in the small space in front of the raised thones, his head snapping up as he heard your footsteps approach.

“You’re late.  I told you to have him here 20 minutes ago Y/n, did I not?”

“It’s not her fault,” Chan defended.  “Besides, they’re not here yet, are they?”  He gestured around to the otherwise empty hall, save for the usual servants and guards, then slumped into his seat at the right hand of his father’s.

“You would do well to lose that attitude before they do arrive.  I will not have you embarrassing yourself or this court because of your petty feud with me.”  Chan gave a hollow laugh at that, eyes closing to block out the mere presence of his father.

You took your place behind Chan’s throne, hands coming up to rest on the ornately upholstered back.  You liked keeping your hands there; it made you feel like you were supporting Chan in some way, the closest you would ever come to being able to actually hold his hand the way you wanted to right now.

After a few moments, you heard the telltale sound of trumpets and the growing shuffling of a group of approaching footsteps.  Chan straightened in his seat and his father took his place at the head of the room.

The doors opened, and you were greeted by a small party of what appeared to be political ministers and guards, in the middle of whom stood a woman clad in a yellow gown.  She was beautiful, golden hair spun up into a twist and a delicate silver circlet resting above it.  You would know she was a princess from a mile away.

The Gu herald spoke first, gesturing towards the two men seated at the thrones.  “May I present His Majesty, King Bang Geun of the Gu Kingdom and his son, His Royal Highness Bang Christopher Chan, crown prince of the Gu Kingdom.”

The gaggle of people gave a quick bow, then parted to allow the woman through.  She stepped to the front, then dipped into a low curtsey.  “I am Princess Korenna Dormio of Lajor,” she spoke, her high, clear voice ringing in the chamber.  “It is a pleasure to meet you both.”

The king stood up, walking towards Korenna with you and Chan trailing behind.  He took her hand and kissed the top of it, his voice exclaiming in a fake bright tone, “We are honored you could join us in our kingdom!  May I present my son, Christopher.”

Chan stepped forward at that, hand outstretched to take hers.  “I prefer strangers to call me Chan.”

You could feel the icy gaze King Bang was sending to his son, but he pressed on, ever the politician.

“This is Y/n.  She is Chr- err Chan’s personal attendant, and will be at your service during your stay.  Go to her with whatever you may need.”

Korenna eyed you with a curious look, and you knew why.  It was unusual, though not entirely unheard of, for a prince to have a woman as his personal attendant.  Not only did they complete duties for him in the domestic sphere, but they also served a professional purpose, a sort of squire, scheduler, and strategist all in one, roles typically reserved for men.  The unique circumstances surrounding the time of your’s and Chan’s upbringing had made having you as his attendant a logical choice, but you could understand her concern about the man she was supposed to marry spending most of his time in the company of a woman she knew nothing about.

You knelt into a curtsey, head leaning forward as you heard Korenna’s voice.  “A pleasure to meet you Y/n.”

“You as well, Your Grace,” you responded.  Glancing up, you saw that Chan was not even looking in her direction, gaze apparently trained on a fascinating branch just outside the rightmost window.  Well this was off to a wonderful start.

“Very well,” King Bang said tentatively, “I will let you two become acquainted.  Y/n, I believe you were given their itinerary for the day?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

As the king made his way to mingle with the rest of Korenna’s visiting party, Chan turned to the both of you, eyes almost glaring at the princess.

“I don’t want to be here, and I doubt you do either, so let’s just get all of this shit over with so we can go back to our normal lives.”  With that, he stalked towards the door, leaving you and a highly affronted Korenna to follow in his wake.

***

The next few hours only got worse.

The pair were thrust immediately into making a multitude of decisions about the wedding ceremony: What kind of flatware did they want?  Which cakes were their favorite?  How should the shrubbery around the edge of the garden be trimmed?  And all the while you stood between them, relaying information to the various servants charged with these tasks and corralling the two royals between each of their stops.

Your latest one was with the palace groundskeeper, to determine what flowers would adorn the wedding canopy.

“We can always have tulips brought in from the highlands, Your Grace.”

“Tulips are fine, but I was thinking something more along the lines of white roses or lilies.”

Chan’s annoyed huff at her words was impossible to miss.

“Can you at least try to give some input about this?”

“We’ve barely met and they have us making all these asinine decisions about something weeks away!  What do you even care what I have to say about flowers anyway?!”

“I don’t want to fight with you about this.”

“Isn’t that what your people are good at?!  Picking a fight with someone who never asked to be involved in the first place?”

You hated seeing Chan like this.  His normally kind, generous, and thoughtful demeanor, that you knew to be his real self, not just some facade put on to impress the nobles or win ladies’ affections, was being replaced by this antagonistic attitude, intent on ruining any chance of finding common ground with this woman.  You knew he was doing it to protect himself, both from his father’s antics and from his own fear of being open, of letting someone in and risking actually wanting to keep them there.  But under different circumstances, you knew he would never want to be seen treating anyone like he was right now, let alone a princess from another powerful kingdom.  And she didn’t seem to be so bad; if she felt the same malice as he felt towards her, she at least did a better job of hiding it.  You needed to stop him before he did something you knew he would regret.

“Your Highness, I believe Prince Minho wanted to brief you on the latest border patrol, seeing as he is back in the city for the time being.  Why don’t you meet with him while I escort Her Grace to the ladies afternoon tea?”

“A wonderful idea,” Chan muttered unenthusiastically and began walking towards the closest castle door as you guided the princess in the opposite direction.  You looked back and locked eyes with him, reading the expression of thanks on his face.

When you were out of earshot from Chan, Korenna turned to you almost immediately and asked, “Is he always this standoffish?”

You were unsure how to answer that question, wanting to make it clear he wasn’t always like this without getting her hopes up that he would change his attitude about this particular situation any time soon.

“His Highness is not especially fond of this arrangement.  It has nothing to do with you personally, Your Grace.”

“Well I am also not especially fond of this arrangement, but it’s the arrangement we have at present and at least I’m attempting to be civil towards him.”

“Perhaps you should tell him of your similar feelings, to establish some common ground?”

Korenna became agitated at that suggestion, visibly tensing as she said, “And risk my father finding out I feel that way.  Absolutely not.”

You understood that apprehension, that fear.  Stories of her father, King Eunther, had spread often throughout your kingdom, and from what you heard, you knew he was not someone you wanted to cross.

You walked in silence for the rest of the way, until you rounded the corner into the courtyard where you could hear ladies’ voices and the gentle clinking of fine china.  Korenna turned to you, placing her hand on your arm.

“You and him seem to be… close.  Maybe you could talk to him, ask him to try to appear like he doesn’t despise me and everything I do or say?”

You had a feeling that would only make it worse, his oldest friend asking him to grin and bear it for the “good of the kingdom.”  You also knew his political protest against his father might not be the only reason for his general disdain of everything that had happened the past week.  But Korenna seemed like she was genuinely trying to put in some effort, and you couldn’t bring yourself to outright deny her request.

“I will try, Your Grace.”

As you left Korenna in the garden, you reached up to feel for the flower by your ear, and found that all the remaining petals had fallen off.

Arrangements  |  Kingdom of Gu, 1 week ago

“Have you heard anything?  From the staff, about what this announcement might be?”

Chan was walking briskly ahead of you, voice coming out slightly strained.  You knew why; his father calling an unscheduled meeting with the entire court, alluding to some mysterious “announcement,” had everyone on edge, Chan most of all.  The king still kept his son in the dark about the majority of his political proceedings, much to Chan’s frustration and chagrin, and no one but his closest inner circle had any inkling as to what this might be about.

“No, Your Highness. It’s been quiet in the servants’ quarters; everyone is equally surprised.”

“Well, whatever it is, promise to take my side?”

“Have I ever not?”

The two of you entered the throne room, and despite your knowledge of what a full court gathering was, you were still taken aback by the sheer amount of people present.  Every nobleman, every knight, every person who wasn’t otherwise occupied was here, filling the space along the wall and facing the dias at the head of the room where King Bang sat, the empty seats to his right and left standing out amongst the crowded room.  Even Prince Minho, the king’s nephew and second in command of the royal guard after Chan, was back from his post on the Lajoran border.

Whatever this announcement was, it was serious.

Chan approached his seat next to the king as he usually did on occasions like this, but was stopped by his father’s voice.

“Chan, please remain there.  You are the subject of my announcement today.”

You saw Chan’s face pale as he remained in the center of the room.  You were still standing behind him, debating whether or not you should stay beside him or step back to one of the walls where the servants stood.  As you scanned for your mother in the crowd, that question was answered for you.

“Y/n, you too shall stay where you are.  I will have instructions for you as well.”

You bowed your head slightly in acknowledgement of his order, and took your place slightly behind Chan’s left shoulder to await whatever insane proclamation King Bang was about to make.

Nothing could have prepared you for the words that left his mouth.

“Chris, I have made you a wedding match.  You are to be married to Princess Korenna of Lajor in six week’s time.”

The entire room was silent, every person holding their breath to hear what the prince’s reaction would be.  This was not something anyone was expecting, Chan least of all.  It took every ounce of your willpower to school your face into a neutral expression as you tried to contend with the hundreds of thoughts flooding your mind.

Chan was to be married?  To someone from Lajor?  One of Gu’s oldest enemies suddenly wanted to form an alliance, and through marriage?  What would that even entail?  Who would hold what powers?  Why was the ceremony so soon?  Who would be in charge of the preparations?  How would this change your relationship with Chan?

After what felt like hours, but was more likely only several seconds, you heard Chan’s voice echoing one of your thoughts out loud.

“A Lajoran?!  But father, they are responsible for - “

“You need not remind me what they are responsible for, Christopher.”

“Then I don’t understand, how did this come about?!”

You couldn’t stop the low ringing slowly building in your ears, accompanied by a sudden wave of nausea.  You vaguely registered the king’s voice, explaining how King Eunther had approached him, how he agreed “it was time we put that mess behind us,” and how his daughter would be a suitable match for the Gu prince.  Your mind wandered, remembering how many times Chan had told you he never wanted to be used as a pawn in his father’s political games, how he hated the idea of being forced to marry a stranger.  You couldn’t seem to register any other information, thinking solely about Chan, the man you’d known since childhood, your friend, having to be married off to satisfy his father’s need for power.  Finally, a loud voice cut through the fog in your head.

“Y/n, are you listening?  Look at me when I’m talking to you, girl!”

You looked up in surprise to see the king’s unpleasant expression looking down at you.  Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Chan’s pained face turned slightly towards you, waiting to see why his father had kept you in the center of the room as well.

“I apologize, Your Majesty.”

“You will serve Princess Korenna when she arrives for her introductory stay here a week from today.”

You heard a scoff from next to you and glanced to see Chan’s face growing angrier by the second.  “First you lay this on me, now you’re taking away my servant?!  How do you expect me to cope with all of this?”

You sucked in a sharp breath at his words.  You knew he was simply talking in a language his father would understand, explaining how it would be an inconvenience for him to not have someone available at all times of the day, to keep track of his schedule, to clean his clothes, bring him his meals, prepare his horses and armor.  But you couldn’t help the sting of being referred to as a “servant”; surely Chan saw you as more than that, just as you saw him as more than just your future monarch.

“You will manage with half of her normal attention,” the king answered, his tone laced with a hint of irritation at his son’s current attitude.  “Besides, you’ll spend most of your time with Korenna, so she’ll be with the both of you regardless.”

The anger was coming off of Chan in waves, so palpable you felt like you could reach out and touch it.  Finally he set his jaw, facing his father.

“Is that all you had for me?”

“Well that’s all for the matter of the marriage yes but - “

Chan turned on his heel, walking out of the room to the sound of hushed whispers and his father’s increasingly pitiful protests.

You wanted nothing more than to run after him, to pull him into your arms and soothe him, tell him everything would be alright.  But you knew better than to leave, not having been dismissed by the king yet.  So you stood there, heart aching so badly, feeling exposed, like everyone could see the shattered pieces of it that had fallen at your feet.

“I’ll go look for him,” you heard Minho say as he passed by you, the king nodding and waving his hand to dismiss the rest of you.  You heard your mother calling for you but you ignored her, wanting to get out of that stifling room, to go somewhere, anywhere where you could be alone.  You knew where Chan had gone, where he always went when he was upset and needed time to think, but no one bothered to ask you in their search for him.

***

He returned to his room that evening like you knew he would, the door creaking open as you stood across the room ironing his rarely used formal wear with the glass smoother.

His voice came out choked as he whispered, “I’m sorry for what I said.  For referring to you as my servant.”

“It’s alright, Your Highness.  I know you were upset - “

“That’s no excuse.”

Feeling his presence close behind you, you turned to him, reaching for his hand.  “I forgive you.”

He brought his other hand to your cheek, and when you looked up, you saw his eyes staring at you, imploring you to stay, to talk to him.  It was so tempting, the desire to give in, to lean in to him and let him hold you like you knew he wanted.  But you had to be strong, for him and for yourself.  And you knew if you stayed, if you opened up to each other, tried to confront the feelings you knew you still had and could only hope he reciprocated, neither of you would ever recover.  So you took his hand from your face, holding both of his in yours between you as you said, “You should get some rest, Your Highness.”

“Y/n please,” he murmured.

“It is done.  There’s nothing you or I can do.”

He made one last attempt, turning and holding your wrist lightly, but let you go as you pulled away.  Opening the door, you wished him goodnight, desperately trying to hold in your tears as you left.  Your footsteps took you down the hall quickly, but not before you caught the small sound of a sob coming from behind his door.

{part 2}

[bbangsoonie]

teach me about love

member: kevin genre: fluff (preschool teacher!kevin au) word count: 2,120 synopsis: when your brother asks you to pick up your nieces from school, you find a teacher that you find to be cuter than the toddlers there.

a/n: happy birthday to our moonlight boy, kevin 🌙

You didn’t really like kids. They were adorable, of course, but they were snotty walking embodiments of germs and you had no idea how to entertain them. They were absolutely precious when sleeping but their tantrums terrified you.

Whenever they came up to you with those bright expectant eyes, you didn’t know what to do except pet their head. Everyone around you would scold you saying that they were children, not dogs. But in your defense, they didn’t seem to mind.

To be honest, you preferred dogs over kids. They were cute all the time.

Nonetheless, you still adored your nieces. The older one, Ahyoung, reminded you of your own past self. She was shy and reserved but sought out love and attention. She constantly needed assurance to fight early signs of anxiety. The younger one, Soyoung, was the complete opposite; she was loud and outgoing. She easily made friends with everyone and adjusted well to new environments.

So when your brother asked you for a last minute favor, you were more than happy to pick them up at their preschool. Unfortunately, however, you were terrible with directions and ended up 20 minutes late.

Apologizing profusely to the staff and teachers, you made your way throughout the building to find their classroom. That was another struggle of its own.

“Auntie Y/n!” you heard two familiar voices screech. You laughed as they ran up to you and hugged your legs.

“Sorry I’m late girls,” you pouted as you squished their cheeks.

“It’s okay, Auntie! Teacher Kevin was playing house with us,” Ahyoung beamed.

“Teacher Kevin was our dog!” Soyoung giggled.

You looked up to see a male teacher sheepishly escape from the tiny playhouse. You held back a laugh, pitying him for what the girls put him through.

“I’m sorry about that,” you chuckled.

“No worries,” he smiled. “It’s my job and I love kids. I had fun playing with them too.”

“I’m Y/n,” you introduced as you held out a hand. “I’m Ahyoung and Soyoung’s aunt. I came to pick them up since my brother got caught up in a work emergency.”

“It’s nice to meet you. My name is Kevin,” he said as he shook your hand. You knew it was unprofessional to think this but he was cute. Like, really cute.

Trying to leave before your smiling cheeks could reveal your thoughts, you quickly collected the girls’ bags and helped them put their jackets on. You bid their cute teacher goodbye and happily suggested an aunt-niece ice cream date. They cheered at the idea of sweets and raced to your car.

The next week, your brother asked if you could pick the girls up from school again. Apparently they had been bugging him to have their favorite aunt come every day.

You weren’t sure if it was his flattery or if it was their sneaky plan for ice cream but you didn’t mind. As a freelancer, you had a flexible schedule. You were glad to spend time with your nieces and catch another glimpse of their teacher.

This time, you made sure to leave your house early. You ended up arriving before dismissal and watched as the kids ran around in the playground. Something about seeing Kevin’s eyes sparkle in front of them made you soft. He seemed so genuinely happy and looked at each student with honey dripping from his eyes.

Soyoung squealed as she chased after a boy who tapped her free in a game of freeze tag. She was a little confused about the rules but the effort was there.

While still keeping an eye on the children, Kevin approached you and asked if you wanted a juice box. You kindly declined, thanking him for the offer.

“You’re really good with the little ones,” you complimented.

“Ah, no, they’re the ones who are good with me,” he shyly shook his head. “I’m thankful that they see me as a fun and respectable teacher.”

“I find young kids to be difficult,” you confessed. “I don’t know how to match their level.”

“I get you. It’s definitely not easy to figure out what they want and try to communicate with them with their still-developing language skills. I’m still not great at it. I just try to improve a little more every day,” he said humbly.

He was a lot better than you who was quick to give up and run away. His words made you reflect and feel slightly guilty.

The bell chimed, making the students rush to line up in front of the door. Kevin left your side to gather everyone together and take them back inside to gather their belongings.

By now, a handful of parents had arrived and were waiting for their children. One by one, the students walked out with their matching yellow chick backpacks, excitedly running up to their guardian.

Your nieces greeted you in that high pitched shriek you loved, body slamming into your open arms. With them in your embrace, you gave them a tight squeeze before getting up and holding their hands to take them to the car.

“Wait!” you heard Kevin call out. Turning around, you were surprised to see him running towards you. When he caught up to you, he held out a book. Taking it, you read the title.

“The Body Language of Toddlers”

“I thought you might find this book useful,” his hands fumbled awkwardly, not knowing where to go. His gesture brought you a warm feeling.

“Thank you, Kevin. I’ll be sure to give it a read,” you smiled.

“Ooooh,” Ahyoung wiggled her eyebrows, making both you and Kevin blush. You ruffled her hair and ushered her towards your vehicle.

Picking the girls up from school became a biweekly thing for you. Every Monday and Friday, you would arrive ten minutes early to chat with Kevin as he told you funny stories that happened throughout the day. And when you worked with a bunch of preschoolers, there were a lot of those types of stories.

You listened as he went on about how a little boy woke up from a nap thinking he had an argument with his friend because of a nightmare he had. Kevin had to convince him that it was all a dream and that his friend did not actually steal his gummy worms and lie about it.

The way he spoke about his students was endearing. He made them sound like lovely angels even when they were cranky and misbehaving.

“We’re looking for chaperones for the upcoming field trip if you’re interested,” he cautiously brought up. “We only had a few parents sign up so we’d really appreciate any extra helping hands.”

Panicking, you stuttered about how you didn’t have the confidence to keep rowdy kids in check at a public space. He assured you that your only responsibility would be to make sure no one ran off and to accompany kids to the bathroom if they had to separate from the group.

He was a smooth talker. He somehow persuaded you into agreeing and you couldn’t believe you left the school that day after signing the form.

“Auntie, do you like Teacher Kevin?” Ahyoung asked you in the car ride back home.

“Sure, Teacher Kevin is nice,” you hummed.

“No, she means do you like like him?” Soyoung pressed.

You feigned innocence and pretended not to understand what they were talking about. They grilled you about how often you talked with him and even pointed out that he didn’t talk to other parents like that. They sure were smart-witted for their age.

On the day of the field trip, you spent a long time deciding on what to wear. You had no idea how casual you were supposed to dress as a chaperone.

You ended up choosing a simple outfit and rushed out the door to avoid being late. You had to say you were excited. It had been ages since you last visited an aquarium. And maybe the extra butterflies in your stomach were because of a certain someone you were looking forward to seeing.

Meeting Kevin outside of the school felt different. He stood out in the crowd of tiny humans. Even more so once you entered the place and you noticed that most of the visitors were families, students, or couples.

You softly smiled as you watched the kids fawn over colorful fish and gawk at sharks. It felt like you were returning to your own childhood innocence. You followed Ahyoung, who was pulling at your sleeve, to the jellyfish section where she asked you to take a picture of her with the transparent creature.

The photos came out so incredibly that you had to immediately send them to your brother. He texted back almost instantly and you scoffed when you read his message.

“Heck yeah I made that. Those are my genes right there.”

Rolling your eyes, the corners of your lips twitched up as you put the device away. You guided Ahyoung back to the rest of the group and ran into Kevin who was coming back from the bathroom with another student.

“How are you enjoying the trip so far?” he asked.

“It’s nice. Honestly not as chaotic as I thought it’d be,” you admitted.

“Oh don’t jinx it. Lunch time will be hectic,” he warned.

He was right. Between picky kids and the kimbap packed by their parents, the unwanted vegetables were flown around the picnic table. You barely managed to avoid the carrot that was flung in your direction. Unluckily, you were unable to dodge the spinach that was now tangled in your hair.

Kevin laughed as he tried to help you take it out, cracking a joke about it looking like seaweed and you looking like a mermaid dragged out of the ocean.

“He means you’re pretty, Auntie!!” Soyoung eagerly translated on his behalf. “Mermaids are super super pretty. Like Ariel, the princess!”

This raised a teasing crowd of “ooh”s from the group of preschoolers.

“Teacher Kevin and Auntie Y/n sitting in a tree,” a boy began chanting, “K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”

His friend made a face and screamed “ew,” making him laugh uncontrollably. Meanwhile, Kevin was trying his best to cover his burning ears. He pulled the beanie over his ears, not wanting to expose his embarrassment.

“My daddy said no boy is good enough for Auntie but I’ll tell him nice things about you, Teacher Kevin. Just specially for you,” Ahyoung proudly announced.

Awkwardly coughing, you stuffed her cheeks with another roll of kimbap. Her muffled cries of resistance were appeased with a juice box shoved into her mouth. The sweet drink diverted her attention away from you and back to her lunch.

You two were now officially shipped by all of Kevin’s students. Even the other teachers giggled as they passed by you.

By the end of the field trip, you were one of the last ones to leave. After all the other students and teachers departed from the aquarium, Kevin escorted you to the car with a sleeping Ahyoung in his arms and a sleeping Soyoung in yours.

You both carefully placed them in their car seats and closed the door after buckling their seat belts. Now that you were alone with him, you didn’t know what to say. Despite the silence, it wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable.

“So have you warmed up to the idea of kids yet?” he finally asked after clearing his throat.

“The book you gave me definitely taught me a lot of things,” you nodded. “Now I’m not completely terrified of them. And seeing you handle kids comforts me.”

“Really? How so?”

“I don’t know. It’s just… you so effortlessly take care of them and I can see how much you cherish each and every one of your students. I envy that.”

“Trust me, it’s not as easy as you think it is,” he chuckled.

Silence fell between you again but you simply enjoyed his presence. You turned your head to see him already staring at you. With your eyes, you wordlessly asked if there was something he wanted to say.

“So uh tomorrow’s Saturday,” he suddenly mentioned. He was fiddling with a loose thread on his sweater and hesitated to speak up again.

“Do you have any plans for the weekend?” he blurted. You couldn’t stop the smile that crept up on your face.

“Nope.”

“Would you like to um grab dinner with me tomorrow then?”

He anxiously held his breath as he waited for your response. Biting his lips, he wondered if he had ruined things by going too fast.

“Sure. How’s 6?” you finally answered.

“6 is great. 6 is lovely. Wonderful. Perfect,” he replied with a huge grin.

a/n: calling all kevin enthusiasts aka @reverienostalgia

i also may or may not have kinda wrote my little cousins into this fic.. 👉🏻👈🏻

[absolutelyfizzing]

potions class confessions (james potter x reader)

description - Reader is a potions natural and she gets paired up with James in class. While trying to make conversation they both let it slip that they might have a crush on each other. oops?

word count - about 1800

warning - Fluff!! avoidance and awkwardness, James being maybe a little shy ooc. Reader is a badass. House not specified but non Gryffindor is implied. Some negative self talk. There is also wolfstar!

MASTERLIST

Potions was by far your favorite class. The professor loved you and you had it with Gryffindor. This meant that you got to see him. James Potter. The golden boy of his year. You knew he was probably out of your league but you were pretty badass as well if you did say so yourself. You had top marks and were the seeker of Y/H. You were also widely liked, even though you weren't as loud or outspoken as the troublesome group of four in Gryffindor house. Your attention was drawn to your professor when he began to call out partners for the next couple weeks of the course. Your heart nearly stopped when he said you would be partners with none other than James Potter. Your heart picked up speed. You had a crush on the boy but you knew he was deeply infatuated with the beautiful Lily Evans of his own house. You knew better than to try to compete.

You looked over to where he sat with his friends and they were all giving him looks and shoving his shoulders. You thought they might be making fun of him for having to be partnered with you. You felt heat rise to your cheeks. He looked over and you made eye contact. Both of you looked away as quickly as possible and your cheeks darkened in color.

By the middle of class you had all migrated into your potion pairs and your assignment was to make a very simple healing potion that you could make in your sleep. It was more for practice than anything else. You hadn't spoken a word to James and he seemed unusually quiet. You had a suspicion that he didn't like you. He got pretty quiet whenever you were around and he sometimes would even leave the room when you entered. You didn't know why he didn't like you but you pressed on. And your crush persisted nonetheless.

"Quit staring at me, you're making me nervous." You mumbled as you began pouring in ingredients but you could feel his gaze on the side of your head.

You didn't look up when you heard him mutter a small, "Sorry." It was a short response and your heart sped up a bit at even the sound of his voice. Oh you were whipped and he wouldn't even talk to you.

"Do you wanna do this next part? You should participate if you want full marks on the assignment but I can keep going if you want me to." You offered, finally looking up at him. He was taller than you but his eyes were piercing. You held the spoon out a bit for him to take if he wanted and he smiled a bit at you before grabbing it. His hand brushing against yours had your heart fluttering and you thought you might just throw up. You both stared at the potion as James began to stir and he counted his rotations. When he got to 20 you threw something else in and he began to stir again, counting to 20 again. It was a bit tedious and ridiculously quiet.

"So, are you looking forward to the match tomorrow?" you tried to find a common discussion topic. He smiled a bit and took the spoon out of the cauldron. You looked to the clock and began the countdown of 5 minutes for the potion to sit before the next step.

"I'm very much looking forward to it. We are for sure gonna beat Y/H" he looked over at you slyly. You gasped dramatically.

"How dare you! I will have you know that I have caught the snitch in every match this year but one and that was because your beater hit me early in the game. I will be beating you tomorrow." You smirked. He looked at you with amusement in his eyes and he giggled a bit. He wasn't nearly as cocky alone as he was in large crowds.

"You're probably right. Our seeker is a bloody dud and it's unfair that we have to deal with him while Y/H has you, you're the best seeker Hogwarts has had in 50 years." He smiled at you, his volume matching yours, louder than your previous murmurs. You blushed under his gaze and under the praise that you hadn't expected. You thought he would tease you back instead of showering you with compliments.

"Flattery wont make me go easier on you, Potter. I'm still going to beat Gryffindor." you smiled., trying to bring the teasing back before the conversation got too serious and you revealed something you weren't supposed to. His eyes sparked at you and he smiled for a second longer before breaking your eye contact and chuckling.

"It was worth a try." He grinned, "You know, Remus was jealous I got to be your potions partner cause you're such a genius in potions and he's got to deal with stumble-y over there. " he nodded over to where you could see Remus trying to corral Sirius away from their cauldron as Sirius was a bit notorious for dropping things that happened to cause explosions. You laughed and blushed at the compliment.

"You do just fine on your own but thank you." You tried to calm your heart rate a bit. "Are they dating?" you questioned genuinely, still gazing at the duo across the room. You had seen them in the halls standing a bit close for friends and you thought you saw them holding hands once. James smiled like he was remembering something fondly and shakes his head.

"Not yet." he said simply. You quirked an eyebrow at him questioningly. "They've both got massive crushes on each other but refuse to see it. They'll figure it out eventually but for now its just endless flirting and it is downright exhausting." He said but all with a smile on his face, never an ounce of annoyance in his voice. "Have you had anyone catch your eye yet? I cant believe you aren't dating anyone." He continued to make conversation.

"I've thought about a few guys but the ones I like aren't the ones that like me." You tried to say lightly, avoiding eye contact with James. "But thats no big deal, I've got bigger things to worry about than who wants to take me to Hogsmeade next weekend or who's going to pick me up on the quidditch pitch when I've won that match tomorrow." You joked but James didn't really laugh.

"I want to." He looked at you before the timer you had set went off. Before you could say anything he started asking questions about what was next and you quickly threw the right ingredient in and stirred it three times. You raised your hand to call the professor over and while you were explaining your work you could feel James fidgeting behind you. The professor told you to sit tight the rest of class as you had finished early and you nodded at him before turning back to James.

"Are you pranking me or something?" You questioned lightly, already slightly upset that he would joke about something that you didn't want to joke about. You saw him look up into your eyes and furrow his eyebrows at you.

"No I'm not pranking you, why would you ask me that?" he asked, concern filled his voice. You looked down again and felt your heart pick up, your eyes stinging.

"Its just that I know that you have a think for Evans and I didn't know if you were kidding a second ago." you relied honestly. You felt a hand on yours before your pinkie was linked with his.

"I'm not pranking you. And I don't actually like Evans. I mean she's one of my best friends but me being in love with her was a rumor Sirius started as revenge for me telling Remus he liked him. I've.." He sighed a bit, "I've had a crush on you for a few years now actually." he looked sad. You moved so you were fully holding his hand and you squeezed.

"Look, if you're serious then I would love to go to Hogsmeade with you, I've liked you for a significant amount of time, I just don't want you to feel like you have to cause you pity me or something." you mumbled the last part. James looked at you inquisitively.

"Why would I pity you? As I've said you're the best seeker I've ever seen at Hogwarts and you can properly kick my ass in any class we happen to be in. And I promise I'm only half trying to get you to go easy on the match tomorrow." you smiled at the end and you chuckled a bit.

"Okay then, will you go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?" You questioned, a bit more sure of yourself.

"Of course I will. I was also hoping I could steal a tie or two so I can properly represent when i'm at your matches. When you aren't actively crushing my team, that is." he smiled and your heart soared.

"I guess we will have to make a trade." you smiled and as soon as class let out you walked hand in hand into the corridor.

"Finally! Took you long enough, mate." you heard the voice of the raven haired boy behind you as he stood rather close to his not-yet-boyfriend. He pushed James a bit in the shoulder and held his hand out to Remus. Remus sighed and handed him a galleon.

"You couldn't have waited to make it official until the Hogsmeade trip? You've just cost me a galleon." he teased and you both laughed a bit.

"You should have let me in on the bet before hand and I could have kept it professional for another week." you smiled and James pushed you a bit from the side and you all laughed.

You looked over at him and his smile was so wide it made his eyes nearly close. You took a deep breath as you finished laughing and you started to pull him toward the dining hall where you were planning on getting dinner. His hand left yours and instead snaked up to you head so he could push your hair to press a kiss to the side of your head and you blushed deeply. You couldn’t have cared less when you heard a gagging sound behind you from the best friends of the man you hoped to be with for a longtime.

[parkers-gal]

hey honey! how are you doing?

i was wondering if you could write something where the reader is either tom or harrison’s sister, around 19-20 years old, and she hears her brother talking bad about her behind her back and she gets distant towards them and her brother realizes how much he’s missing out on (her first boyfriend and stuff like that)

sorry if it’s long or if you don’t wanna write it lol it was just an idea!!

don’t be sorry! i loved this! also doing pretty good :-)

i didn’t really understand what was in the ending parentheticals so i hope this is what you wanted!

wc: 1.7k

—

Being the established girl in a group of four boys meant a lot of things. Often, you were confused as a girlfriend to whichever boy you were accompanying, aside from your brother, of course. There was a lot of territory that came with being close family-friends with the Holland family. Especially since your brother used to be Tom’s assistant. It was expected, though, because they had been close friends growing up, especially since being in the same grade. 

You were younger, which meant you were in between ages for the twins and Paddy. You didn’t consider yourself too young for them, though, and found yourself in the presence of the boys for most of your time. 

Today, however, you were with your friend Aisha, walking around the shops. She had to leave unexpectedly early, so you parted ways. You came into the house quietly, setting a few things as you silently made your way into the kitchen. It wasn’t actually your house, but you practically spent all of your time there anyways. You heard voices coming from the den. Though you knew it was wrong, you halted in announcing your arrival, choosing to listen in on what they seemed to be joking around about. 

“Finally got ‘er off your back, huh mate?” You heard Tom’s voice, followed with joined laughter from everyone else. Your mind wandered, thinking maybe Harrison had a girl he was interested in, though he never brought that up, so you stayed quiet to hear more. 

“Yeah. Out with Aisha or whatever.”

Your eyes widened as the realization dawned on you. You purse your lips and think not to assume anything just yet. 

“That her only her friend?”

“Honestly,” Harrison laughs in agreement. “Mum said to be a good older brother but I’m tired of playing babysitter.” They all laugh again and you will yourself not to burst into anger — or worse: cry. “She’s gotta grow up or something.”

“Mate.” Tom snickers. “She needs a life. The boys are a tight circle; can’t let no baby sister in on that.”

“Yeah,” Harry’s voice pops in. “Who else would we spill disgusting secrets to?” They laugh seemingly in universal knowledge. 

“Anyways,” Tom settles down. “Good thing we finally got the superior Osterfield alone, for once.”

You abandon your station near the kitchen door and speed walk out the other swing door. You pick your bags up quietly, making for a quick escape as your tears attempt the same. You’re almost done putting your shoes on when Sam comes down the stairs, brows furrowed while he wipes his damp hands on the front of the shirt. You curse in realizing he was probably in the bathroom. 

“Y/N? Everything okay?”

“Uh…” You glance to the hallway that leads to the kitchen, wearily hoping nobody comes out. “Yeah, just uh… forgot I had to do something. I’ll see you later.”

You quickly make your way out of the house, shoving everything into your car while you can, starting the engine with great speed. Sam was in the middle of saying something else to you on your wait out, but he never got around to finishing because you were already out of the door. 

He didn’t mention anything to the boys, trusting that you were okay and that you did actually have something to do. 

That night, you tried not to cry yourself to sleep in your small apartment, one you shared with Aisha. When you woke the next morning, she wanted to go to the skating rink for some fun, so you agreed, eating breakfast before showering. You spent the entire day there, really, and let your phone in a rented locker, ignoring the texts from a few of the boys asking if you wanted to come over for a movie and some pizza. 

When you did have the chance to reply — over five hours later — you gave them scarce replies in the main group chat, apologizing without much sorrow. From their end, they shook it off, knowing you probably just had other plans that specific day. The five of you were planning on going to the golfing course tomorrow, so you’d get time together then. 

But they were wrong, because you cancelled on them, simply stating that “golf isn’t your mood, today.” They’d accepted that, but Harry knew that was bullshit, because half of the fun of golfing was competing with you.

They tried not to think much of your absence while they were on the field, but it was weird and awfully quiet without you. They’d figured it might be different throughout the week, but they were still wrong. You were with other people throughout the week while you could be, and it only made it worse for the boys because you were posting it all over your social media. Not in a flaunting manner, but just for the aesthetics. They didn’t find it very pleasing, though. 

Harrison knew something was off, knew you didn’t normally just start ghosting people unless you had a real reason. He intended on figuring out what that reason was, and Tom was hell bent on learning it too. They drew up a plan to get you to come over, telling you they had a few of your missing things. You complied, figuring you’d have to face them at some point. 

Strolling up to the house for the first time in ten days, you opened the door as casually as you could, only to be met with four pairs of eyes staring in your directions from seats in the open living room. 

“Uhm,” You cleared your throat. “Where’s my stuff?” Tom wordlessly points to a bag on the head of the couch, and you pick it up wearily, sifting through it while you hummed. “Thanks, I’ll just take this and get out of your hair.” 

“Well, wait-” Tom stands abruptly. “Why… why don’t you hang out for a bit?”

“I mean… do you want to?” The tone in which you speak catches him off guard for all of ten seconds before each of the boys are nodding their heads.

“Of course we do.” Harrison smiles and you nod wearily. 

“Okay.”

However, you don’t make any move in settling down for the long run, and Tom huffs. “What’s going on here?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re avoiding us!” Harry concludes. “Why?”

You clear your throat, looking at your feet while your tongue clicks. “I, uhm, I heard you guys talking the other day.”

Harrison raises his eyebrows as a silent message for you to elaborate a little.

“You said you were tired of babysitting me, so I gave you guys some space.” They all physically defeat and you begin to defend yourself. “I just thought it’s what you wanted! You don’t have to explain.” You’re unknowingly beginning to tear up, and they all know it before you do. 

“I think we should talk.”

“No, I- uhm…” You glance out the window to your car. “I should really get going.”

“No!” Harry pleads with you. “We just… we miss you.”

You stop short in your tracks, turning around slowly. “Well I don’t really think you get to. Not after what I heard.”

“That’s not fair, Y/N/N, and you know it.” Harrison’s stern with you, and you can feel the tension beginning to set nicely like a creamer. 

“None of this is really fair for me, so why should it be fair for you?” You point a finger up in their direction while you shrug offendedly. “I mean, if you’re gonna say one thing don’t act like you don’t mean it.”

“But we didn’t,” Harrison says. 

“Really, we didn’t. It was a stupid thing to say.” Tom adds on. 

“Yeah, we’d never say it knowing you were there.”

“Oh, but you’d say it if I wasn’t around?” You’re making this more difficult, you realize, but you don’t much care, because when feelings get hurt, things get difficult, and you’ve come to terms with that. 

“That’s not what I meant.” Harrison crosses his arm. 

“No, but that’s what you implied.” You jab him back with your next words. 

“Stop making this hard.” He’s reminding you of what things were like when you were young and arguments were regular. 

“I’m not the one that started this.” You huff angrily, hand finally gripping the handle of the front door, swinging it open and slamming it harshly with an “I’ll see you all around.” 

Tom blinks, glancing to Harrison in question on what to do next. Harrison sighs and so does Harry. 

“I saw her leaving that day she heard you guys.” Sam speaks calmly, almost nervously. “She was- uh… she was crying.” “Oh jesus.” Tom groans, hands running through his curls. “We made her cry, Haz.”

“I know, I know.” He speaks hastily. “C’mon, I know what to do.” He picks his coat up, opening the front door as the rest of the boys follow him out. 

You’re coming home that night after spending the rest of your day at the country club with some friends. You’re alone, of course, expecting to eat dinner with Aisha, though the two of you normally dine separately because you’re always with the boys and she’s always with her girlfriend. Things are different now, though. 

As you open the door to your flat, you expect to find it dark and empty, but you’re met with your favorite take out meal and four very sorry boys, a large teddy bear sitting on the couch for you. You drop your bags and glance at each of them. 

“What’s all this?”

“We’re really, really, really sorry.” Harrison steps forward with an apologetic smile and three DVD disks in his hands, all of your favorite movies. “But me especially. I love having you around… even if you are my baby sister.” You slap his arm playfully and he laughs. You let a smile creep onto your face at his demeanor. “We really missed you this past week.”

You nodded, fiddling with your fingers. “It just… hurt. You broke the one rule I thought…. The rule I thought we all swore to keep.”

“I know.” He sighs, looking at the boys as everyone says it simultaneously. “The circle before yourself.”

You’d seemingly all established it during your first all-nighter as a group of five. You vowed to put them before your own silly ego or public facade. Obviously, some things are harder for others.

“Can you ever forgive me?”

“Can you ever forgive us?” Tom speaks up, eyes deep.

You smile softly, voice laced with feelings. “Of course I can.” You don’t miss the smiles that break out onto their faces, and when everyone comes in for a group hug, they know things are going to be okay. 

read the spinoff! - circles before yourselves - rule #2

[hockey-fics]

2 from the kissing prompt list and 5 from the smutty prompt list with Crosby or Tito please!

This is 2 from the kissing prompt list with Crosby. I’ll add 5 with Tito to my list!

Prompt: Kiss in the middle of a fight

A/N: never used someone else’s gif before but huge thank you to the person who made that one, I know how much effort goes into making gifs 

Warnings: argument (obviously), language, and an age gap. 

Four years. 

Four years since your first date. 

When he took you for dinner at a restaurant that was way out of your budget and your comfort zone. Because you were barely 20, a college student living in a rundown apartment with bars on the window and three locks on the front door. And he was almost 30, making more money than you could even wrap your head around, living in an apartment on the side of town you only fantasized about living in. 

But as soon as you were with him that night all your worries subsided. And when you saw the drink menu, hesitating at the prices, Sidney made a casual comment to order whatever you wanted. And when you excused yourself to the bathroom towards the end of the night Sidney paid for the bill while you were gone, not even giving you the chance to have to worry about splitting it. He drove you home that night and parked his car, walking you to your door and waiting till you were securely in your apartment before leaving. 

You never would have admitted it then but you fell in love with him that night. 

But it wasn’t always easy. Because he was almost a full ten years older than you. You were at different points in your life. For the most part it wasn’t an issue, you were mature for your age and he was accepting of the fact that occasionally you did just want to go out and party with your friends. But there were comments, from your family, from his family, from your friends, hell, even the media seemed to have an opinion on your relationship. You saw the tweets, the Instagram comments. You tried your best to pretend you didn’t, but even though he tried to avoid it as much as he could he was in the spotlight and it was inevitable. 

You moved in together three years after you got together, you settled in with him easily. And in the beginning you thought maybe the flood of happiness you felt waking up every morning in a bed that the two of you shared would fade, but it didn’t. You figured at some point cooking dinner together in your kitchen would become routine, but every time he wrapped his arms around your waist while you were preparing dinner or he would step between your legs while you sat on the counter placing his large hands on your thighs, you were just as overcome with joy as the very first time. 

Your whole life you never believed in soulmates. People just found someone they clicked with and made it work. But when you met Sid all those thoughts changed. Because you never met anyone who made you feel the way he did, not a single friend or ex could compete with the overwhelming happiness and comfort that Sid brought you. 

When your family was having a reunion there wasn’t any hesitation in your mind over Sidney coming. Sure, you weren’t married, he wasn’t technically a part of the family. But it really only felt like a formality at this point, that piece of paper. 

So you and Sid packed a suitcase for the three nights you were going to be away, giddy with excitement at getting to introduce Sid to your entire family. He had met your close family on so many occasions, but it was the distant relatives, cousins you yourself had only met a few times, that could get to meet him now. 

Of course Sid splurged, getting a suite in one of the nicest hotels in the area. You told him it wasn’t necessary, that the two of you would be busy, wouldn’t be there that often anyway. But he insisted. 

The second night you two got ready for an afternoon barbecue with your entire family. Your aunt and uncle had rented space at a local country club, a large outdoor gazebo, lawn space for the younger kids to play on. It was all gearing up to be a great afternoon. 

“What if I can’t remember someone’s name? Should we have a codeword or something?” Sid asks, voice hushed and panicked as you walk along beside him, hand in hand towards where your parents had told you to meet everyone. 

Coming to a stop you tug him to face you. “Stop worrying. This is supposed to be fun. Everyone is going to love you.”

And perhaps you shouldn’t have been so confident, an egregious error in assuming you knew your distant family well enough to make that statement. Because by the time dinner is over and a few drinks have been poured the conversations seemed to be taking a turn you weren’t expecting. 

“So, Sid,” your uncle Max says, drawing the attention of you and Sid along with the rest of the group that was sitting around one of the large outdoor tables. “How old are you again?”

Sid clears his throat and you reach over, grasping for his hand beneath the table. “Thirty-three,” he tells him with a nervous formality of being interrogated by the police. 

“And Y/N, darling, correct me if I’m wrong but you’re twenty-two?” You Aunt chimes in. 

“Twenty-three,” you correct, with a force smile. “Almost twenty-four,” you add quickly, immediately regretting it, cringing internally at the childish way it had come across, trying to prove yourself to be older. 

“Sid, you’ve never had any kids? No ex-wives?” Max asks, prodding questions he had no right to be asking when he had barely even asked about the mundane facts of Sid’s life. 

“No,” Sid replies, a defensive edge to his tone. 

“Hm,” Max hums, picking up his drink and taking a rather large swig. “Didn’t want any…or?”

“I…uh,” Sid stammers, rarely at a loss for words but now unable to form a simple sentence. 

“We’re thinking about it,” you suddenly chime in. You feel Sid’s eyes on you, wide and confused. It wasn’t like you two hadn’t talked about it before. In fact, you had talked about it on a number of occasions. Early on in the relationship it came up as a general question ‘do you want kids?’. As things got more serious is became more clear that when you two were picturing having kids it was together. Discussing how you wanted to raise your kids, how many you wanted. And you had been thinking about it, just hadn’t brought it up to Sid that you were starting to think maybe you were getting close to being ready. 

“Oh, hunny, you’re so young and he-,” you aunt begins, trailing off as she glances over at Sid. 

You can feel your emotions building, rage coursing through your veins. “Like I said, we’re thinking about it. I know it’s a big decision.” With that you shut down the conversation, pushing your chair back and watching Sid follow suit, walking with you away from the table. Neither of you say anything till you get back to the car you were renting for the weekend, needing to get away from it all for a few minutes. Hot, angry tears filling your eyes. 

“I’m sorry.”

You stare up at Sid, blinking away your tears as you try to put together what he was talking about. “You’re sorry? Sorry for what? That’s my asshole family, I’m the one who needs to be apologizing to you.”

“But this wouldn’t be happening with another guy,” Sid says, holding both your hands in his. “You shouldn’t need to be standing up for me like that. They’re also your family and I can’t put you in the position of needing to be at odds with them for a relationship.”

“What are you saying?” You ask, shaking your head as you pull your hands back from his, using one to wipe away a few tears before crossing them over your chest. 

“I don’t know,” Sid admits, looking around as he takes a deep breath. “Maybe we…you and I-.”

“No,” you interject, shaking your head. “If you think my family’s opinions are going to change how I feel about you, about us, then you’re a fucking idiot, Sidney. I love you…so much. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you because you make me happier than anyone has ever made me, I’m the best version of myself when I’m with you and I’m never going to let that go because someone thinks you’re a few years too old for me or whatever other bullshit people will criticize us about. And I really thought you felt as sure about this as I do, so-.”

Suddenly Sid is stepping closer, leaning down and pressing his lips to yours. It’s soft and tender and filled with a thousand words he hadn’t spoken out loud. Your arms fall from across your chest to around his shoulders, letting him pull you closer. “Marry me,” he whispers against your lips. 

You’re silent for a second, pulling back just enough to look into his eyes. “What?” 

“Marry me,” he repeats. “I have the ring already, I’ve been thinking about asking you for months but it never felt like the perfect moment and this sure as hell isn’t the perfect moment either but I can’t wait any longer. Because I do feel as sure about this as you do and you need to know that now.”

You have tears in your eyes again as you stare up at Sid, only able to nod in response for a minute. “Of course I want to marry you,” you finally whisper, your arms wrapped tight around him. 

[volkshore]

sinnoh league headcanons

these hc’s are very centric to my favourite characters so i apologize if most of them only revolve around a few characters (volkner, flint, cynthia, maylene, candice, dawn, lucas).

byron and volkner smoke and the rest of the league hate it. cynthia, maylene, and gardenia, being the biggest advocates for health and the environment in the league, constantly admonish them for it and pull the craziest things to try to get them to stop.

flint and volkner once stayed in the hotel grand lake together (the hotel near valor lakefront, renown as a honeymoon location for couples) and the tabloids caught wind of it, sparking an extreme amount of dating rumours. they still haven’t heard the end of it from the rest of the league.

the elite four all get along surprisingly well for the wide range of ages. flint and aaron occasionally butt heads due to their forward and loud personalities clashing, but bertha talks them down and lucian keeps them sane. the four of them together make quite the unconventional, tight-knit group.

candice and volkner act like brother and sister. they bond over their seclusion (geographically) from the other leaders and their love for complex puzzles, as well as their intense best friends (maylene and flint). their personalities mesh really well and they always protect each other from media rumours and general hate.

the last three gym leaders (byron, candice and volkner) tend to spend more time with the elite four than they do the other gym leaders (though they’re still very close with the others).

the gym leaders, elite four and champion are the closest sinnoh have to any real celebrities, and therefore they attract the most media attention. articles such as “volkner being the problematic gym leader for 5 minutes straight” and “10 times maylene turned a public meeting into a motivational speech” definitely exist.

maylene has a popular tiktok account and she always forces the other leaders to make videos with her.

dawn and lucas are like the adopted children of the league. they always make time to visit the leader of the cities they travel to and make occasional appearances at the battleground when the league decides to meet up there.

flint and volkner have especially taken to dawn and lucas and are the ones they visit most often. they jokingly refer to them as their dads — flint and volkner don’t mind.

even after dawn/lucas beat the league, cynthia stays on as the figurehead champion who takes care of the league’s affairs. dawn and lucas are still young and have so much more of the world to learn and explore before they deal with anything that stressful, though they do take the battles of the occasional challengers.

the sinnoh gym challenge isn’t taken on my many people which leaves the league with a lot of down time, and this is why they’re all so close. only they can empathize with each other regarding the leader experience and the league are the only family that some of them have.

though their most popular hangout spot is the battleground, a lot of the time, they also meet up at someone’s gym/the league building. having so many eyes on you can get exhausting, and they use these hangouts at more protected areas to just be themselves with the people they trust.

during the time of team galactic’s terror, the league often held meetings that turned into group therapy sessions. for the first few hours, they would intensively analyze team galactics actions, movements, and possible motives, but once their energy tanked and the sun went down, most of them would end up lying on the table or floor and they would lay out all of their insecurities to each other. they would often talk about how worried they were that cyrus’ plan would succeed if they weren’t strong enough, or if the region could tell how little control they had over the situation.

i don’t have hc ages for all of them, but here are some:

— cynthia: mid/late 20’s (27?)

— volkner & flint: 24

— candice: 21

— maylene: 20

— aaron: 19

— dawn & lucas: 16

(i know that pokemon has the consistent theme of their mc’s being 10-12, but i just never saw that as viable with the level of maturity needed to go through the situations that they do. read: this is my hc list and i do what i want)

most of the leaders are quite young and i figure that’s why i hc that they all get along so well. bertha, byron, and fantina are the only ones left from the previous lineup of leaders.

this is kind of a big one, but i hc that cyrus was the previous champion of sinnoh. he was very power-hungry and put way too much pressure on the gym leaders / elite four to perform at their highest capacity. it was a huge breath of relief for the whole region when cynthia beat him.

the previous generation of gym leaders / elite four all stepped down from their positions around the same time (within a few years of each other). much like the current lineup, they were all very close, and just couldn’t keep up when the new leaders stared to take on their positions. all of the current leaders are very forward-thinking and fast on their feet while the previous generation still carried the burdens of the league under cyrus’ rule, and decided it was time to let them take the lead.

bertha, byron and fantina all have their own reasons for staying.

bertha: she’s nearing retirement anyway and wanted to see the league be something good before she stepped down. all she knew was cyrus’ rule, and she wanted to end her career on a good note with some years under cynthia.

byron: he decided to stay because of roark getting the leadership position in oreburgh. roark always tells his dad that he shouldn’t stay just for him, but byron does still very much enjoy being a leader, so he stayed for that, too.

fantina: she’s still young and has a huge passion for battling. as close as she was with the past leaders, she still has so many years of her career ahead of her and found it easy to fit in with the new leaders. she also figured that someone with past experience that the younger leaders could relate to should stick around in case any of them needed guidance (being in the middle of sinnoh also helps for visitations sake)

even though dawn and lucas are still very young, they’re wise beyond their years. they’re both extremely empathetic and very good at picking up on other peoples emotions, so when the leaders are feeling off or down, they’re always the first ones to be able to notice what’s wrong and give good advice.

all the leaders feel extremely indebted to lucas and dawn, but all they ever ask for is friends in the leaders and a place to stay when they visit every once in a while.

the league always have a yearly vacation together with each other. it’s chaotic, competitive, and always ends up drawing media attention and making headlines for something crazy that happens during the trip, but they wouldn’t have it any other way.

i’ll stop this list here for now, and i’ll compile all the ones i think of from here on out into a part 2! this headcanon list also gave me the idea to make fake social media profiles for the league, so stay tuned for that coming in the future.

[shihalyfie]

A meta and analysis on Yagami Taichi

Being the face of Adventure and arguably the rest of the franchise, Taichi has the honor of being an important figure in the realm of shounen anime overall, which has the unfortunate side effect of very often being described with things that don’t actually match him at all -- the way people often talk about him (especially mainstream press) tends to portray him like a stereotypical shounen hero who charges aggressively into everything and is hot-blooded all of the time. That’s not...quite on the mark.

I think “impulsive” is certainly a correct way to describe him, but in a very different way than one might think -- and, in fact, Taichi is much more of a multifaceted character than he’s often pigeonholed as. How? Well, let’s talk about it!

Taichi in Adventure

The main reason it’s probably incorrect to call Taichi “hot-blooded” by nature is that, in actuality, he is far more often too chill than otherwise. It’s not that he aggressively charges into everything without any rhyme or reason! Rather, it’s more like he takes everything very easily and has a “don’t worry about it!” attitude.

In fact, I think our friend the Animation Chronicle explains it better than I can:

If he doesn’t know/understand something, he acts while he tries to figure it out...

So in other words, rather than our conventional version of “being impulsive” meaning beelining to the most aggressive possible action, rather, it’s more like “the first thing that pops into his head” -- even if it’s a fairly easygoing or relatively harmless-seeming solution, he just goes for it because it sounds like it’ll work and he doesn’t see any reason why not.

That said, it’s also made abundantly clear by multiple sources that his ideas do come with some kind of consideration:

From the Animation Chronicle: “He appears to move with reckless abandon, but he actually does take in his surroundings and he takes good care of his juniors in the soccer club.” 

From the Adventure novels: “Taichi treated everyone without discrimination, as equals. That attitude of his didn’t change, even towards Koushiro. If Taichi hadn’t invited him, Koushiro was sure that he would have never gone to summer camp.”

Sora and Koushirou even back this up personally in Adventure episode 16, when Koushirou points out that Taichi had always been kind to his juniors, and Sora recalls an incident when he’d foregone an opportunity to score a goal because he’d known Sora was more likely to pull it off successfully.

So in other words, Taichi is, fundamentally speaking, not someone who does things for personal glory, but does want to work for other people’s sake. It’s just that, in trying to carry that out, he has a tendency to default to the first thing that pops into his head. Or in other words, Taichi’s primary way of thinking is “act first and figure out the details later” -- and this has both good and bad things about it.

Firstly, the fact that Taichi has such an “action-first” philosophy means that he’s capable of acting very practically in situations when others would freeze up. A very good example of this is Adventure episode 21; after angsting for half an episode considering quitting the fighting and enjoying his life at home, the moment he realizes that everyone else will be in danger if he leaves everyone be, he immediately instinctively steps in to help everyone. It’s not necessarily that Taichi doesn’t feel the stress or danger of fighting; it’s just that when he sees the practical impact of people he cares about getting hurt in front of him, all bets are off, because he needs to help people now.

The second thing is that, as Koushirou points out, he’s very kind to his juniors, and people in general -- he doesn’t really pay much mind to things like seniority, and is more concerned about treating everyone in accordance to their practical capabilities. This means that he’s someone who has a certain sense of charisma, especially since he’s appreciative of people’s abilities.

This is best indicated in Adventure episode 28, when two important things about Taichi are brought to the forefront:

Taichi’s natural charisma and ability to appeal to people makes him someone good at “bringing people together” -- indicated by the fact that the group hadn’t taken long to completely fall apart after he’d momentarily departed in Adventure episode 20, but came back together after he’d rallied them. The Adventure kids, coming from rather different social circles and backgrounds, were not originally the type to stay together or be particularly tight with each other by default, and so, during the first half of the series when they still had ways to go in terms of having any kind of meaningful bond with each other, they were unconsciously dependent on the charismatic Taichi to keep them together.

Taichi is a “natural leader” in every sense -- “leader” meaning not only someone who pushes people forward, but also someone who recognizes others’ abilities and is willing to delegate rather than trying to do everything by himself. This was briefly demonstrated in Sora’s Adventure episode 16 flashback when she remembers that Taichi willingly gave up the opportunity for a goal when he understood she could do it better (it’s reflected in his soccer position, too), but also here in Adventure episode 28, he gives the task of solving the card puzzle to Koushirou because he (correctly) determines that Koushirou, not himself, is best equipped to do the job. Also note that the episode makes clear that everyone agrees to it specifically because Taichi appointed him to the position -- much like how “understanding everyone’s abilities and delegating properly” is an important and necessary skill for a leader, everyone trusts Taichi to make that decision, and therefore trusts in Koushirou because he was appointed by said well-informed decision.

So those are the good things about him. What about the drawbacks?

The first is that Taichi is, unfortunately, a little emotionally insensitive. He doesn’t mean badly, of course -- you can’t deny that his penchant for teasing or trolling people makes him quite a fun person to be around -- but he tends to lack a bit of emotional insight and is prone to crossing the line with his remarks. Again, this is a symptom of him being too chill about things at times; he tends to react with “what’s the big deal?!” -- a statement that one should absolutely not say when arguing with someone, and which tends to get Taichi in hot water, especially with Yamato.

While the trope of “the shounen hero and the cool rival often having friction” is quite common in anime like this, Adventure’s play on it is actually quite different from how it would usually be played elsewhere. In most other shounen anime, this kind of relationship would have to do with something like the hot-blooded protagonist wanting to charge in and the cool-headed person wanting to be more “rational” about it, but in Adventure, Taichi and Yamato are pit against each other due to reasons that have to do with emotions. Yamato, contrary to what his character archetype might suggest, is someone who’s openly passionate and emotional, and is also someone who goes out of his way to care about others and their welfare -- so he often gets into fights with Taichi because he perceives Taichi to be insensitive and not putting sufficient thought into the others.

Yamato’s reactions are certainly extreme -- Adventure episodes 9 very clearly depicts him as the one losing control of his emotions and escalating the argument with Taichi to a full-on fight, whereas Taichi wanted him to calm down -- but he’s not fundamentally wrong in that this is an aspect Taichi needs to improve about, because it is true that Taichi tends to take the first suggestion of “what’ll get something done” that pops into his head, but also has a problem of vastly underestimating how dangerous things might be.

Again -- and this is very important to stress -- it’s not that he doesn’t care about others, and it’s not that he’s unaware of the dangers around him or the potential for repercussions! As Sora says in Adventure episode 16, he is conscientious of his surroundings and aware of potential risks. He has always put thought into his actions, and he doesn’t just charge into things with no rhyme or reason. He just has an abysmally poor sense of judgment, because he’s so naturally chill that he thinks “it’ll be fine, don’t worry!” -- and thus starts stubbornly locking down on what he wants to do because he’s so sure it’ll be fine and that everyone (usually Yamato) is overreacting.

If you want a specific example about Taichi’s tendency to misjudge: in Adventure episode 9, Taichi and Yamato get in a fight when Yamato perceives Taichi as too insensitive about Takeru’s potential welfare, which weirds Taichi out because Yamato’s being awfully overprotective. On its face, it might seem hypocritical because we later find out in Adventure episode 48 that Taichi is just as overprotective of his own sister, but it’s important to note that in the relevant episode, Taichi states that he has to go out of his way because Hikari continually fails to vocalize whenever she’s hurt or in pain. This implies that Taichi sees Takeru as someone who’s clearly capable of taking care of himself because he expresses himself better (and thus, Taichi doesn’t understand why Yamato has to go out of his way for him). Indeed, Takeru ends up latching onto Taichi because he sees him as treating him with the independence that Yamato won’t -- but Takeru has his own very deep-seated emotional issues that he just happens to be very good at hiding, and while Taichi is certainly always looking out for Takeru, he never seemed to have become aware of this problem.

This difficulty in judgment leads into a certain pattern of behavior that Taichi exhibits that only comes up in very specific situations, but is so consistently depicted that it’s basically an inherent trait of his: what I call the “Yagami Taichi stress response”.

Taichi is the kind of selfless person who prioritizes others’ welfare over himself, and there are times when it will often fall into almost self-destructive levels. (This is a trait he actually shares with his sister, although the two of them naturally deal with it in very different ways.) His first priority is “helping everyone”, and especially “helping anyone who’s in trouble” (especially when it’s happening right in front of him). Which means that whenever he feels that others are depending on him for something, he ends up often taking too much responsibility for everyone’s welfare, and starts cracking under the pressure.

Because Taichi is the kind of person who prioritizes “action first” and figuring things out as they go along, this means that his reaction to stress is basically becoming a completely unfocused mess. Or, in other words, he lets the thought of but we have to do something!! completely consume his head, methodology be damned, and he starts panicking and doing everything in every which way to get it done, to the point he starts lashing out at others or becoming an emotional wreck because of the stress. The first time we see this is Adventure episode 16, where, being the only one with a working Crest and feeling that he and Agumon have the responsibility of protecting everyone, starts pushing himself and Agumon to carry everyone’s burdens, resulting in everything going wrong and the dark evolution to SkullGreymon at the end of the episode.

Again: It’s important to remember that, even at his “worst”, Taichi’s main priority is helping and protecting others, which means that his way of responding to that stress is basically determining that he’ll take all of the responsibility onto himself. That involves things like forcing himself to “work harder for everyone’s sake”, or becoming dangerously self-sacrificial, or at least allowing himself to become an emotional wreck because as much as he knows better, his one strongest thought is always we have to do something!!

Taichi exhibits more of this behavior in Adventure episodes 48 and 49, to the point he gets unusually aggressive with Koushirou (which is also explicitly pointed out as him not acting like his usual self) once he starts panicking about Hikari’s welfare. Again, note that all of this stems from we have to do something!! -- he basically starts panicking because despite Koushirou clearly doing the best he can, once things start going south, it’s just not enough.

So, speaking of things going south: because Taichi often misjudges situations, whenever things go wrong, he takes it badly. This is someone whose first course of action is to “act first and work it out as we go along,” but the number one thing he can’t stand is seeing other people get hurt, and so when other people do get hurt because of the consequences, Taichi shuts down -- for instance, when he learns that his ploy to attempt to get Greymon to evolve ended up hurting Koromon and everyone around him in Adventure episodes 16-17, and when his taking the Digital World too lightly (taking Koushirou’s explanation of it being “like a game world” at too much face value) ends up getting Sora in trouble and his own life in danger.

Which leads to a certain degree of irony: Taichi’s behavior isn’t normally out of solely recklessness -- mainly really poor judgment and a tendency to underestimate things -- but when he does slip up and start having to deal with consequences, he does become reckless. But because this recklessness is out of a desire to “not let anyone else get hurt”, it results in him being reckless specifically with his own welfare --  he’s the kind of person who “takes too much responsibility onto himself”, and his way of responding to the issues of “someone might get hurt” and “but we have to do something!!” means that he, by default, responds to everything with “okay, then I’ll be the one who gets hurt!” Or in other words, his solution to preventing other casualties while still doing something to help others involves becoming dangerously self-sacrificial. Because in the end, Taichi is the kind of person who hates seeing people being in trouble or hurt in front of him, and his instinct is to always protect people, no matter what.

But, again: Taichi’s way of “action first” is not a fundamentally bad thing -- remember, Adventure episode 21 established very well that this trait of his is very good for bringing him out of his biggest bouts of hesitation, because he has a very practical understanding of the need to fight in order to prevent more casualties. This is especially because the final arc of Adventure deals heavily with the concept of “collateral damage”, or the question of how to handle fighting to save people, when people are inevitably hurt (or, in this case, dying) in the process.

Yamato accuses Taichi in Adventure episode 43 of not being conscientious enough about the friends they’ve lost in the process, but once Yamato succumbs to his resentment and personal beefs and starts selfishly picking a fight with Taichi in Adventure episode 44-45, Taichi indicates that he is keeping his fallen friends in mind -- it’s just that, to him, not continuing the fight is an insult to everything they’d died for (especially because, indeed, more people will get hurt if they don’t do something). 

And, ultimately, in Adventure episode 50, Taichi does conclude that Yamato, Jou, and Mimi are right about one thing: while he’s always been right about them needing to do something, they do at least need to be careful about how they go about it so that they don’t incur more sacrifices along the way. Fortunately, Taichi is a soccer captain and perfectly capable of quickly coming up with a suitable plan on the fly (he even cites it in this episode, and in fact had already demonstrated an ability to come up with tactics when necessary back in Adventure episode 20) -- it’s not that he’s never been able to do flexible thinking, it’s just that his natural tendency to be “too chill’ about things and overestimate the efficacy of the first thing that popped into his head was something he needed to learn to think through a little harder.

And so, the final episodes of Adventure indicate him finally starting to tap into his capacity for that -- thus truly becoming the definition of the Adventure group’s “leader”.

Taichi after Adventure

We learn in Our War Game! that Taichi still has a bit of a way to go in terms of the “emotional sensitivity” part, most notably when Taichi starts getting defensive when he accidentally disrupts the computer connection, and Koushirou (most likely correctly) pinpoints this insensitivity as the likely reason he and Sora got into a nasty fight prior to the events of the movie. In fact, while Taichi already clearly had some shades of this in Adventure, when his “teasing” of others or stepping over their boundaries could sometimes go a little too far, it’s especially indicated here that Taichi is very, very bad at dispute resolution, because he keeps trying to deflect blame for his own actions and indirectly accuses Sora of being the irrational one in regards to their argument. (Again, for anyone entangled in a dispute with a friend: “dismissing the other person’s feelings” and going for the ad hominem, instead of at the very least acknowledging them in the process of making your point, is the number one worst way to handle this.)

Of course, Taichi wouldn’t have gotten this far if he didn’t have the natural charisma to compensate -- again, he’s fundamentally someone who cares about other people and attends to them. But, unfortunately, he’s still bad at knowing how to deal with other people’s emotions and learning to deal with them with proper empathy...

...So, in fact, it’s striking that the Taichi we initially meet in 02 is someone who, most of the time, seems to come off as very mature and put-together. The fact that he so willingly turned over his goggles to Daisuke at the beginning of the episode is a really huge deal, frankly -- even if you don’t subscribe to the theory that there’s any major sentimental backstory to it a la V-Tamer, that’s still an item he’s kept on him since he was a tiny child and clearly must have a huge amount of attachment to, yet he immediately handed it over to Daisuke the moment he felt Daisuke was worthy of it.

It’s actually quite a bit of a swerve for those of us used to the more “playful” Taichi who sometimes took things way too lightly, but it’s also important to realize that this is the Taichi that Daisuke and his friends see. This is especially in light of the fact that Daisuke starts off the series with a very severe inability to be assertive, so Taichi, who’s always been naturally assertive from the get-go (almost too much sometimes), is everything he is not, and therefore admires.

Taichi is still Taichi, which means that he’s still subject to the Yagami Taichi stress response, and he gets very close to blowing up angrily at the others when they show up late. But unlike how he had a whole train of being rather out of control when emotionally compromised in Adventure episodes 48-49, he gets himself together fairly quickly and admits that he also didn’t want to force everyone to come if they didn’t want to (to the point where he had even thought about going alone with Hikari in the worst-case scenario -- again, note the tendency for self-sacrifice and putting responsibility on himself).

We also see him about to lapse into it again at the end of the episode, when he freezes up because he’s not sure about what to do in regards to the potential of hurting Agumon in the process of getting him back -- but Yamato manages to get him back on his feet, rather literally, and with a punch to the face.

This punch tends to be really often misinterpreted as if violence is just a fact of life when it comes to Taichi and Yamato, but it is very, very important to understand the context behind this scene and how it differs from the two’s relationship in Adventure. Whenever the two fought back in Adventure, it would be a very vicious argument with the two genuinely angry at each other, and with Yamato accusing Taichi of being insensitive and thus becoming hostile and resentful towards him. In this scene, however, Yamato has become conscientious of Taichi’s own feelings and reasons for hesitating. This is evidenced by the fact he only does a single punch and holds out his hand to Taichi right after -- said punch was strictly meant as one meant to snap him back to reality, and Yamato holds out that hand knowing that Taichi will not take it as anger or resentment, but rather “I did this because you needed something to get you back into focus, I know you also know this and won’t take it as an insult, and I understand your feelings and want to help you.”

It’s important in establishing the level of deep trust Taichi and Yamato have where they understand each other’s positions now without fighting over it -- the two of them even point out in the next episode that the reason they can get away with this is because of how much worse they used to go through before, but now, the two of them treat each other with mutual sympathy, understanding, and support, and devoid of condescension whatsoever. And because of that, Taichi is able to “snap out” of his hesitation much more quickly than he would three years prior, because now he has Yamato’s emotional support, and Yamato even frames the situation in a way the “we have to do something!!” Taichi would understand: if they don’t do something, Agumon will continue to be the Kaiser’s slave destroying everything that he himself would never want to see destroyed, and even if they end up accidentally losing him in the process, it would arguably be a bigger mercy to him than it would to let him continue in this state. It’s all very practical reasoning that works best with Taichi’s way of thinking, and because of that, they’re able to push forward into the events of the next episode.

But just because he’s become more mature doesn’t mean he’s lost his characteristic charisma or ability to be playful or a tease -- after all, Taichi has always had a penchant for a bit of a smug personality, sometimes even bordering on the petulant. This especially comes out when he’s with Agumon, but, really, Taichi is a person who really likes fun.

On another interesting note, however, Taichi sends Sora off in 02 episode 38 when he’s very heavily implied to have caught on that Sora is about to confess to Yamato, and pushes her on without giving her grief for it. Regardless of whether you subscribe to the theory that Taichi has his own unresolved feelings in the situation, the important part is that he understood that this was a grave enough situation for Sora that this did not merit teasing her or insensitively poking into her feelings on it -- in other words, it’s a huge contrast to Adventure episode 26 when he was clearly at a loss on how to deal with her when she was emotionally compromised, and Agumon and Gabumon commented that he wasn’t as mature as Yamato in dealing with this.

But now, Taichi is much more capable of showing actual empathy for others and understanding when it’s the time to hold back on the teasing or potential insensitivity, and for that, Agumon compliments him on the same maturity he’d failed to express three years prior.

By the time we get to Kizuna, the fact that Taichi is one of the lead protagonists is for obvious meta reasons (he’s the protagonist of Adventure, after all), but it also makes sense that a movie centered around the millennial existential crisis -- and, specifically, the issue of career uncertainty -- would have him as a major player in it. Remembering that Taichi is fundamentally the kind of person who operates as “act first, deal with it later,” it makes perfect sense that the terrifying pressure of dealing with something as vague and uncertain as career pressure would be something that Taichi would continually put off. Again, Taichi is a very practical-minded person who usually works best with things that are clearly happening in front of him, so “wide-ranging” things are things he plays badly with.

Despite Taichi being very clearly depicted as “out of it” for this movie, at the very least, certain fundamental personality traits of his haven’t gone away -- for one, he’s still one of the most expressive characters in the movie (to the point many a fan has commented on his jackpot of facial expressions) in terms of petulance, sometimes getting a little defensive, and driving poor Koushirou a little nuts with his tendency to be reckless with electronics. He also gets a bit cocky during the battle with Eosmon, which, again, tracks with his tendency to do that every so often (and to be fair to him, everyone was guilty of severely underestimating Eosmon at the time, so it’s not like this was a major miscalculation on Taichi’s part).

Moreover, much like in 02, Taichi and Yamato are understanding of each other’s feelings to the extent that Yamato is the first person Taichi calls to dump his feelings about his existential crisis over. Even though they’re still prone to some mild bickering at the beginning of the movie, they immediately go back on high-fiving terms right after, so it’s a very far cry from the time back in Adventure when Yamato would look down on Taichi for being insensitive.

But here, we have this one line that basically represents the source of all of the problems Taichi ends up going through in this movie, including the reason for his loss of Agumon: Taichi is trying to “force” himself to become an independent person, and in the process is pushing Agumon away, and, on a more metaphorical level, his own self.

Taichi moved out of his parents’ house under the pretense of not burdening his family, but Hikari’s comment about their mother wanting him to drop by indicates that it’s not likely they necessarily wanted him to move out -- and despite that, Taichi is miserable in his daily routine of walking back and forth from school and working at a part-time job and eating convenience store food. He’s clearly lonely, yet he won’t allow Agumon into his room (it’s stated that his visit midway into the movie is his first time here). He keeps his old goggles and Digivice, yet he shuts it in a drawer and only opens the drawer to stare at it from time to time, and when Agumon finally does visit and finds his AVs, Taichi freaks out and pins it as an “adult thing” before he finds himself in the awkward situation of basically gatekeeping his own partner with a societal standard he doesn’t even understand.

I should point out that the AVs are not strictly porn, if you want to be really technical about it; it’s “gravure” videos, involving a cosplayer dressing up in sexy/high-exposure outfits and striking suggestive poses, but it’s not actually explicit porn. Moreover, a toned-down version of this scene exists in the Shueisha Mirai version of the novel, where the issue is not about AVs but rather the fact that Taichi only has alcohol in his fridge -- absolutely nothing non-alcoholic, despite how impractical this is -- because “[he’s] an adult, after all.” So the point of this scene is that Taichi’s being performative, or in other words trying to do Adult Things because That’s What Adults Do. And since a Digimon partner is representative of the inner self, and especially established in 02 to have relevance to one’s “less dignified and more childish dreams”, Taichi looking down on Agumon, i.e. looking down on himself, becomes the reason why he ends up losing him at the end of this movie.

As things get worse for Taichi and the crisis escalates, we actually get another glimpse of the Yagami Taichi stress response -- Yamato confronts him on whether he’s okay with going in to save all of the Eosmon victims despite knowing what’ll happen to their partners. Taichi, frantically (Hanae Natsuki’s voice acting really sells it here), has an emotional outburst and professes that, no, of course he’s not, but, again: they have to do something!! Because in the end, Taichi is a selfless person who understands that bad things are happening to people now, and the important thing is saving them now and dealing with the consequences once that’s done with, and even Yamato admits that, as much as he hates it, this is the correct answer.

Taichi does, unfortunately, lose Agumon at the end of the movie, but there are multiple indications he’s already on his way to getting him back, given that Taichi’s starting to address all of the problems he was neck deep in at the start of the movie. In the middle of the movie, after having shut his goggles in the drawer all of this time and only pulling it out whenever he was depressed, he decides to embrace the courage they initially symbolized and puts them back on his neck, and when we reach the climax of the movie, he uses Hikari’s old whistle to wake everyone up. This needs to be distinguished from all of the “nostalgia” everyone else had been drowning themselves in by looping themselves eternally in old memories from a desire to never move on from them; symbolically speaking, Taichi’s blowing of the whistle represents acknowledging the important things in your past, and making productive use of them to move onto the future, rather than the unhealthy reactions of either drowning eternally in nostalgia, or performatively shutting everything out about your past in a bid to reach some arbitrary standard of adulthood.

Hence, Taichi’s thesis -- the one he had failed to write at the beginning of the movie -- is only filled out once Taichi embraces that past version of himself, because his thesis summary is about reflection on his past experiences, and making use of those to think about how to apply them to the future.

This is, obviously, intended as a lead-up to the 02 epilogue in which Taichi becomes an ambassador -- or in other words, someone who indeed specializes in “bringing humans and Digimon together” and offering proposals on how they can coexist in the future. Agumon, of course, is an important part of this job (look at his suit and bowtie!), instead of Taichi shutting him out and treating him like someone who doesn’t belong in his adult life.

Of the careers depicted in the epilogue, Taichi’s is the most “furthest-reaching”, since, as a diplomat, he has influence over a pretty huge range of things, which fits with Taichi’s tendency to shoot for some pretty high things -- and, also, conceptually, it works well with what we’ve always known since Adventure to be Taichi’s true specialties as a “leader”: having the charisma and understanding to bring people from different places together, and to lead them all forward.

[espinosaurusrexex]

Not Nice

In which Jeff and y/n have a heart to heart conversation about their relationship.

warnings: angst; just really sad, because that's what I do... BUT don’t worry, ya girl put some serious fluff in there, too!

a/n: Hello! God, it’s been a long time... How is everyone doing? I just felt like putting something out there again after not being able to write for so long. I don't know why; and I should actually be working on some term papers, but I found myself writing this so fast. I wrote this, because I felt like it, so it is not request related. I hope there are still some people whose feed this will end up on. I would love some feedback and as always: please enjoy! I hope you didn't forget about me :)

word count: 2.7k

It was a cool California night. Still not cold for February, but enough to send a shiver through your body when stepping outside. Y/n would normally not even consider going out right now, but the situation had called for it. David had called her minutes before, screaming at her through the phone to get her butt over to his house for a big problem that left him sleepless. She had fallen asleep on her desk trying to complete one of the assignments that were due by the end of the semester and basically fell off her chair when her phone rang annoyingly loud in her right ear. To say that she would rather be in her warm bed instead of her cold leather car seat was an understatement. But she knew that not helping David would leave her sleepless for days and seeing that it had already been 4 in the morning, she grabbed her keys and left. She was so tired that the lines on the road kept blurring in different directions. Just a couple more minutes, she thought to keep her focus on the road, but the exhaustion was unbearable at this point. A loud horn drew her back to reality when she accidentally served in the other lane. Shaking and flustered, she pulled over and rubbed her face with her hands aggressively. Pull yourself together Y/n. David needs your help. She looked up again, but the headlights of the few other cars made her eyes hurt, giving her an instant headache. That’s it. She was selfless, but not irresponsible. After searching for her phone in the passenger seat, she dialed Jeff’s number. Why she called him, she didn’t know. It was like an automatic movement to type in his number. The shrill beeping of the phone echoed through her head until Jeff’s sleepy voice broke it. “Are you Ok?“ He sounded confused and his voice reminded her of the time he had a terrible cold. Shit. “Oh my God. I’m sorry I didn’t think about the time. I-,“ but Jeff interrupted his friend with a chuckle. “It’s Ok. I was about to get up anyway.“ There was silence, and Y/n could hear him shuffling out of his bedsheets. “David called me and said he wanted me to help him with something.“ Y/n could almost hear the eye roll on the other line, and if she weren’t so tired, she would have probably laughed at it. “I’m guessing he called you, too?“ It sounded more like a question, but Jeff knew that he was right. “Yeah that’s actually why I called…“ She rested her head on the seat. “I’m on Linkin’ Road and I am too tired to drive… I was wondering… I- Could you maybe pick me up?“ She closed her eyes to focus on her friend’s voice. Jeff was grinning, she could hear it when he agreed to pick her up. Y/n’s heart beat faster at this. It was so insignificant and yet so attractive to her.

A couple minutes passed until Jeff’s car pulled up next to hers, sending vibrations through the floor and back to Y/n’s. She looked up and spotted a grinning man on the driver’s side rolling down the window to throw a holler at her. “Need a ride, beautiful?“ Y/n smiled, trying to hide the butterflies in her stomach. She got into his car taking in his woody scent and buckled up. Jeff threw a blanket over her legs and drove towards David’s house. The Drive was about 20 minutes and spend with Jeff humming to the calm tunes of the radio that sent Y/n straight to sleep. When they finally arrived, he tapped her shoulder lightly. “Y/n wake up. We’re here.“ 

They both walked into the house and went straight for the living room, where David was probably seated. It was so bright that Y/n had to rub her eyes. As soon as the brunette noticed his friends, he jumped up excitedly. “Now that everyone is finally here…“ It was just now that Y/n noticed that her whole friend group was scattered in the living room, snuggled up with fuzzy blankets or their significant other. Everyone was looking up to David, who was now standing on top of his couch table waving his remote control in the air. “It came to my attention that our dear friend Jeff has a problem.“ His grin grew wider with every word and if Y/n weren’t so exhausted, she would have probably noticed the mischief in David’s eyes. Jeff was looking around the room, trying to figure out if anybody could give him a hint on what was about to happen, and in his mind, a series of problematic things, he had recently done, were playing like a record. „What do you mean?“ He laughed nervously and scooted closer to Y/n. It always calmed him down to feel her next to him. David proceeded to pull his audience’s attention to the TV behind him. A blurry picture showed on the screen, displaying a woman in a tight blue dress and Jeff dancing in a rather inappropriate way. “Jeff, I think someone might have leaked something to the paparazzi.“ Before Y/n could process what was happening, the room filled with laughter. Y/n stood there as if she had turned to stone, too tired to show any form of emotion. She struggled to pull the corners of her mouth into a smile but she felt like throwing up then and there. Why did he not tell me about this? Why is this making me so sad? It was when Jeff’s hand had touched hers, that she was pulled back to reality. A wave of emotions came crushing over her, making her eyes water and her already pounding headache intensify. She was mad for so many reasons. Mad about David for pulling her away from a much-needed sleep by using her good conscience and selflessness to get her to his house for an immature prank that broke her heart. She was mad that she had not realized sooner how much of an impact Jeff actually had on her. And most of all, she was mad about the fact that something so stupid could even make her mad. It was all too much, and Y/n could not hold it any longer. Her thoughts had been weighing her down for too long now, making her feel like collapsing under their pressure. “Y/n are you okay?“ David managed to yell across the room. “What do you think of Jeff’s new girlfriend?“ Those words hit her like a truck. Girlfriend. The word made her shiver. Jeff did not have a girlfriend for the entire time they had known each other and Y/n never had to deal with the possible bother she would get from it. “I think they look great together!“ Someone said and this made Y/n burst. “You wanna know what I think about it?“ Everyone cheered, waiting for Y/n to drop a punch line. “I think that you’re an asshole, David. This is such bullshit!“ Low laughter were heard until David spoke again: “Don’t be such a drag, Y/n/n.“ Y/n tensed up again and Jeff tried to nudge her shoulder in an attempt to calm her down, but she shrugged him off harshly. “You don’t know what it is like to have responsibilities. I am late on two assignments and the average amount of sleep I get each night is about 2 hours. And you know what I ditched those two hours for today? Your fucking stupid prank. You think you can order everyone at any time just to end up on a 4:20 min vlog. You live in some fucked up carefree parallel universe. But guess what! Not everyone has this reality. Grow up, David! I can’t do this anymore. Being your friend is beyond exhausting and you don’t even care. God! You are the worst person I know!“ The room fell silent until a quiet “That was so uncalled for…“ could be heard. Y/n searched the crowd for the source of that statement in vain. “I’m just saying what every-“ But Jeff interrupted her, “Y/n! That’s enough!“ She shot him a dark glimpse and left the house with a shaking head. 

Y/n trembled from head to toe when she burst through the door of David’s house and the brisk air hit her skin. She just started to walk with no direction in mind. Her view was blurry from the tears pooling up in her eyes, but she did not care. The exhaustion in her bones was making her body hurt. Y/n did not stop, though. She just walked in hopes of the pain in both her heart and body was going to fade after some time. It felt like hours until she finally stopped. Her feet had lead her to a familiar spot. A small clearing with a beautiful view over the city. She sat down and allowed herself to breathe for the first time in hours. What have I done?

It was still dark when Jeff's Car pulled up on the clearing. He sat in the driver’s seat for a while watching Y/n’s back shake and his heart felt squeezed. He always knew that he had a soft spot for her, but this felt different. Almost too much to process. He took a deep breath and walked up to Y/n, resting his hand on her shoulder once again. She looked up and smiled at him with this glimmering spark of sunshine in her eyes, but this time it wasn’t real. Not genuine enough for her. “I don’t get it. You seem like the happiest person in the world.“ Jeff sat down shaking his head while studying the floor beneath his feet. Y/n looked up. Anger flickered in her eyes as she realized what had slipped out of her friend’s mouth. “You wanna know why I’m always positive? You want to know why I’m always so ‚nice‘?“ Tears streamed down her face while she tried to hide the way her features cramped up in pain from the thoughts that flooded her brain like a tsunami. Y/n held her breath for a few seconds trying to collect herself before talking again. The attempt to cover up the ugly sobs that were about to slip her lips made her head feel like bursting. “I’m nice because I’m scared that if I speak my mind, people won’t like me anymore. I am positive because a lot of times I feel like that is the only thing that people could like about me.“ The words hit Jeff right in the heart. He caught her eyes for a second and shivered. He could see her breaking. Breaking to the point where it wouldn’t be a quick fix anymore that could be handled by a hug or kind words. No, the girl he saw in front of him, the very same girl that was sitting there, knees tucked to her chest, face hidden between it and her shoulders, was crumbling into a million pieces. Her body quivered as she attempted to hold her knees even tighter, trying everything to not fall apart any further. Jeff’s eyes started to water. It was a feeling he had never felt before. As if his heart was pulling on thin strains that were able to flood his entire brain with emotions yet so fragile. He hated seeing her like that. He hated everything about this situation. But the worst thing was that he didn’t know how to fix things. He wanted her to be happy, to be careless, and not let people’s opinions or some stupid assignment get the better of her, but he didn’t know how. It’s started to annoy him to the point where even the sky above him with the beautiful stars made him furious. “I had no idea…“ he trailed off after a while. Every word leaving his lips felt like one too much, but at the same time, he felt like he was not even able to say enough to fix things for her. “I’m so sorry.“ He just sat there shaking his head while moving some soil with his right hand. Y/n stayed quiet. She didn’t know what to say either. She felt bad for laying all her issues on him like that, but it felt so good. Iike a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Before she could even think about a response, Jeff interrupted her again. “You should feel able to tell me stuff like this, Y/n/n.“ They locked eyes and Y/n could see the pain in his. “No, I know… It's just that-“ “That what?“ Jeff was desperately hoping for anything that could help him help her. “I don't want to be a bother… especially not for you.“ She hid her face between her knees again, fighting the tears that were threatening to spill. “Oh, Y/n… You could never.“ He grabbed her hands and basically forced her to look back at him again. Y/n could feel the wet soil squeezed between their fingers, making her hand tingle a little. “Never in a million years do or say anything that would make me think anything less of you than an amazing person.“ A genuine smile formed on Jeff’s lips. He could see her relaxing with his touch. Just like he did with hers. “That means a lot, Jeff.“ The way she said his name sent shivers down his spine. His smile grew even wider and Y/n took the tiny bit of confidence in her to speak again. “Especially coming from you… I-“ Secretly hoping he would interrupt her like he always did, Y/n looked up through her lashes. “I know. Me too…“ Jeff smiled. There was this twinkle in his eyes. Just a faint glimmer for every other person, but for Y/n it meant the world. Like a whole new galaxy had been opened just for her. There was something so obvious and unspoken between them now and Y/n loved that they both knew what it was. With no intention to address it, Jeff leaned in closer to her. He watched her face with intent, making sure that she was feeling better from her previous breakdown before he planned on doing anything else. But all she did was smile and hint a small nod his way. That was enough for him. He longed for her lips. His hand wandered back to her shoulder, squeezing it slightly as he bumped his nose against hers. Y/n moved her fingers towards Jeff’s face, touching the scruff on his jaw lightly. They could feel the electricity dancing in the centimeters that separated them. With a final look into her eyes, Jeff pressed his lips against hers, enjoying the warmth for a moment. They started to move in synch, devouring each other. There was nothing else at this moment. Nothing, except for the salty taste of tears and the overwhelming warmth of a loved one. Jeff’s chest felt like bursting from joy. He loved the feeling this moment was giving him. It felt like finally breathing after holding a breath for a month. Their kiss felt like a Valve that had finally been opened for Y/n. It was letting all the hurt and worry out of her system and made the moment even more enjoyable. 

Once they separated from one another, there was nothing but positivity lingering in the air around them. They looked into each other’s eyes until Y/n was ripped from the moment by a yawn that had been sitting in her throat for hours. She rested her head on Jeff’s shoulder and slowly drifted off to sleep. Jeff was stroking her head calmly. There were no more words needed anymore. This moment was perfect.

Jeff looked ahead and noticed the sun rising on the horizon, dipping the world into beautiful red and yellow tones. He took a deep breath, leaning back carefully and enjoying the considerably most wholesome moment to ever exist. 

Hey hey, it’s me again. I know it’s not the best and I know it’s kinda short, but I just wanted to get something out there again. It felt good to write, but unfortunately I don’t have a lot of time lately. I hope you enjoyed this little piece anyways. I would love to hear some feedback on it. Thank you so much for reading this far!

[canonicallyincorrect]

Haikyu Headcanons

Confessions!

Featuring: Iwaizumi Hajime and Oikawa Tooru

Warnings: N/A

A/N: Hey besties! Been a bit since the last post but school is almost done so be prepared for more headcanons soon!

~

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

you are the same year in high school and manage the aoba johsai volleyball club

you are great friends with the group of four (oikawa, iwa, matsun and makki) and spend a lot of time with them

like a lot: lunches, practices, walking to and from school together, classes, etc.

Iwa and yourself are in the same class and often spend breaks in between practice sets going over homework

you start to catch some feelings after two years, and the other three can see that both of you are dancing around it

you never catch the way his face heats up, or how he starts to rub the back of his neck nervously when you get a little too close

one day makki and matsun confront you about it in a private group chat, and you tell them all about it

they won't ever let you live down how you started to talk about how cute he is when he's angry

they start to hype you up knowing full well that Iwa feels the same

at the same time oikawa teases iwa, even going as far as saying that he might just have to snatch you up if he takes too long

that went over great

anyways, you finally build up enough courage to write Iwa a love letter

you made sure everything was pristine: making sure it wouldn't crease in your backpack and folding the papers just right

right before practice was about to start for the day, makki and matsun give you a little push and a thumbs up as you make your way over to Iwa

he's by himself in the storage room, getting the ball carts ready and you step in

with two hands, you extend the letter in his direction

there's nothing written on the front of it, and you can see Iwa deflate

it makes you panic big time

he takes it with one hand and mutters out "i'll give it to Oikawa later"

before it fully sets in what he said, he pushes past you onto the court

"wait!" you quickly grab his shoulder and now all eyes are on you two

he stops his movements and looks confused

"it's for you, idiot"

you look a little hurt, but it goes away quickly once you see his entire face turn beet red

makki and matsun start to laugh their asses off while oikawa just says "i told you guys" not knowing they pushed you to do it

iwa ended up reading the letter right after practice, and you walked home hand in hand :)

OIKAWA TOORU

(this is so long smh)

You guys were friends in hs, being the volleyball manager, and were a part of the third year group of friends

Iwa, Oikawa and yourself all decided to attend the same college but you all lived in different apartments

you all owned a key to each others places tho

ANYWAYS, Tooru didn’t know how to feel about anything (i.e. his feelings for you) and decided to be a total fuckboy his first year and had a FWB

He ended up ditching on a lot of your guys’ hang outs, and both Hajme and yourself got upset

Sometime during your first year you let it slip to Iwa that you had a big fat crush on Oikawa, but he promised he wouldn’t intervene

You rarely saw Tooru at this point, and you would cry in Hajime’s arms on some nights

Second year rolls around and Iwa knows you’re getting tired of waiting, and he can see you switch from sad to frustrated and angry

Oikawa’s still kind of fucking around until Hajme demands to talk to him

Scared out of his mind, they meet up and Iwa warns him that he’s going to start losing people in his life if he doesn’t fix his attitude and figure things out

In the moment, tooru doesn’t react, but when he gets home he thinks about it more

He calls off the FWB thing and tells himself he’s going to be a better friend and figure out how to properly confess to you

It’s been a couple weeks since than and the three of you decide to hang out

Iwa tells you that he thinks tooru is really changing for the better, and it really gets your hopes up. That things will be normal again

Welp…. Tooru cancels 20 minutes after he was supposed to meet up with the two of you at Iwa’s place and you feel an unbridled rage crawl out from your stomach

It comes out in tears and screaming as Iwa holds you tight, wanting to rip Oikawa a new one

Suddenly you whip out your phone and proceed in writing a text to Oikawa

It reads: “I’m so fucking tired Tooru. I’m done with these games and I’m done with you.”

Or something along those lines.

Iwa sees what you’re doing and tries to get you to think before you hit send, but it’s too late and you grab your belongings and leave the apartment

Iwa is stunned - you’ve never really been one to act on emotions or lash out and it takes him a few minutes to realize what’s happening

The only thing that breaks him from his trance is his phone buzzing with a call from Oikawa

On the line, his voice is shaky and he’s panicking about the text, asking where you are and what’s going on.

Iwa’s pissed and tells him how bad he fucked up, possibly for the last time, as he describes the events to his best friend

He also says that he doesn’t know where you are, and you won’t respond to his texts

Without a moment of hesitation, Tooru grabs his car keys and goes to check all of your usual spots: Your apartment, the school library, your favorite coffee shop, the gymnasium, the bench in the middle of campus that you’ve dubbed “your bench”

But you’re not there

You’re not at any of those spots and Oikawa keeps checking in with Hajme, who is continuously calling you and guarding your apartment just in case

Nothing

Not for an hour or two

Until, oikawa’s just driving around when he sees you walking down a street.

You don’t have any earbuds in and it's obvious you’ve been out in the cold, crying for a while

“Y/N!” he shouts from the car, slowing it to match your pace, but you ignore him, wishing he would just drive away

He begs you to get into the car

You ignore him

This goes on for a few minutes before he throws his car into park, in the middle of the street and you give in as he’s taking off his seat belt

Silently, you hop into the car, placing the buckle around your waist and stare out of the window

He wants to say something so bad be he knows it’s not the time and he starts to drive you home

Hajime sits on the staircase, looking up when he hears a car door shut. You walk to the front door, avoiding both of their gazes as you place the key into the lock

“Hey…” Iwa places a hand on your shoulder, but you yank it away and shoot him a glare. The door slams in his face right as Tooru walks up next to him, silent tears stream down his face.

Iwa lets Tooru drive him home, and they sit together in his living room all night talking about what happened. Hajime doesn’t chew him out about it, because he can tell Oikawa is sorry from the violent tears that rip through him the second he’s in a safe space.

“How do I fix this?”

“I don’t know…”

A few days pass, and neither has heard from you

Concern bubbles in the pits of their stomachs, but Iwa decides he should go check first

With a small knock, he announces that he’s coming in and unlocks your front door.

The apartment is a mess, trash everywhere, dishes piled in and next to the sink and you: sitting under a pile of blankets, eyes red and swollen.

His heart sinks and you cry harder once you see his frown deepen.

You both hug for some time, Iwa staying silent until you’re ready to talk.

That never happens, but he helps clean your apartment and orders some healthy food for the two of you.

He knows that you’ve turned off your phone and you only leave the house for school and work since you haven’t responded to anyone

Over the next week and a half, he comes by every few days to check in, clean, and drop off some groceries

You look a little worse every time he does

And he tells Oikawa, who’s drowning in guilt

Maybe if he had just confessed at high school graduation like he said he would, this wouldn’t have happened…..

The updates from Iwa made him happy that you were still alive, but tore him apart because of what he did to you

Two weeks after that night, he decided that he’d had enough, and heads over to your house

He knocks and enters without saying anything, and the same sight that greeted Hajme greets him

It’s just messier and your eyes had sunken in, with dark bags hanging underneath them

You were lying on the couch, covered in blankets and crying, which causes him to start crying

You turn to face who entered (you assumed it was Iwa) but a scowl makes its way onto your face once you realize who it is

Tooru sobs harder, slowly making his way to the couch and sitting on the opposite end, not daring to touch you.

Your voice is gruff and scratchy, asking him what he wants and he just cries even harder

A few minutes pass as he calms down, then he explains everything

How he’s been in love with you since high school, how he planned to confess but chickened out, how he didn’t know what to do about his emotions and instead ran away, how he found comfort in other people, how he thought the best thing for you would be to leave him

He rambles on for a long time, but his thoughts only cause confusion for you

“I can’t trust you until you prove it to me, Oikawa”

“I know, but I’ll make it up to you. I promise”

“Don’t make promises - prove it.”

The night ends with silent agreements and affirmations that things will be better.

He leaves for the night, kissing the back of your hand before leaving

For the first time in weeks you checked your phone and caught up with everything, and Hajime was happy that you were back

When you returned from school, your apartment was cleaned and there was food in the fridge. A single rose sat on the countertop with a little note: “I’ve always loved your smile”

The next day, you return from a shift at work, and another rose had been added to the vase, a different note sat on the counter: “You always know exactly what to say”

This continues on for weeks

Roses being added to the vase, and a note written on them.

Hang outs had resumed between the three of you, albeit a little awkward, but it was nice to see everyone back together.

You confront Tooru after 3 weeks of nonstop roses and tell him that you’re ready to move forward with him.

The smile he gave you that day is unforgettable, and he tells you to take the next saturday off

He spends the whole day with you

He sneaks into your apartment early and makes you breakfast in bed

You spend the morning talking and watching tv

Then he takes you out for shopping and lunch, with a little walk in the park since it’s so nice outside

Later that evening you return back to your apartment, and a pillow fort, decorated with fairy lights and blankets sat facing the television

(thank you Iwa-chan!)

You spend the rest of the night snacking and talking while one of Tooru’s awful alien documentaries plays in the background.

He kisses you when you’re cuddling up next to each other, and you pull him in for so many more after that

The two of you fall asleep in the fort in one another's arms

How's that for a first date?

[slater-later]

i'm not saying prompt 10 with brian kelly,, but that totally is what i'm saying... please? :)

OH YES!  *cracks knuckles* I’m on this boat before it even sailed!

20/10 I really enjoyed this prompt. It was *chefs kiss* glorious. I love Brian Kelly with my whole heart. I’m rewatching the movie right now as we speak!

******

The two of you had aged. The long nights spent together, sitting together at the skate spark, munching on a bag of chips and an Arnold palmer, had shifted. 

You first met at the park, the boys and him grinding some railings over a long flight of steps. You had to watch, curled up on the park bench drawing. They hadn’t noticed you at first, curled up with your legs crossed as you marked your sketchbook. Drawing the flipping skate boardings and fast motions of their legs. It was a perfect way to fit in some figure drawings practice. They were so well absorbed in their tricks and banter, they didn’t notice. 

You had filled about a full page and half of their bodies, arms spread wide in the air as they balanced their board on the pipe. Grinding the worn rail with fresh marks, leaving a trail of red behind. 

Brian was having some trouble making it to the end of the line. He’d get about two-thirds of the way down and lose his balance. Clamoring onto the hard concrete steps with a shout, rolling down the rest of the way. A few times, he was able to land on the steps and kept on running, kicking his feet forward to run through the momentum. And the throb at his feet. He was furiously bright red in frustration, knees buzzing in ache. He was relentless and stubborn. He wanted to finish the trick!

And slamming his skateboard on the ground wouldn’t fix it, though it did happen a few times. It got him nowhere.

He had caught wind of your eyes. Curious as he was, he ran up the hill, wanting to say hello. 

“Whatcha got there?” He smirked.

“Hm?” You picked your head up, head milky from the self-absorbed high of drawing. “Oh, I was making some sketches of you guys. Is that okay?”

“Okay? Hell yeah! That sounds cool,” He laughed, gleaming. “Can I see?” He eyed your book. 

“Sure,” And you spun it around, his face lighting up. He had never seen something as fun as this! He loved skateboarding but add art? Even sicker! 

“God, this is amazing! You’re really good at this,” He tapped at one of your pictures, enjoying the style. You passed it to him. “I wish I could do something like this, I’m jealous.”

You laughed and he passed it back to you. You showed him another page of your drawings, “It’s not that hard, it’s practice,” You paused, showing him another. “And time, lots, and lots of time.”

“Hol’ up-” He stepped back, snapping his board to his feet. “Can you do something like this?” He pulled an olley, snapping his feet and the board into the air. 

“Yeah, I think I can… Just give me a sec…” Your eyes squinted, snapping the moment into your mind and making a fast sketch. Enough to get the gesture. 

He waited until you finished, sliding into the seat next to you. Patiently waiting and observing. “My god… You’re the next Picasso,” He mumbled, dumbfounded.

“Picasso wasn’t a great guy… but he was a good artist. Though, I appreciate the compliment.”

“Oh! Sorry, I didn’t know,” He scratched the back of his head, embarrassed. “Do you want to come down and hang out with us? You seem really fun.”

“Yeah, sure, that sounds nice,” And the two of you walked, joining the group of friends.

****

  Slowly, your relationship bloomed. Friends turned to lovers and the two of you eventually moved in together. You both had properly graduated high school and you had enrolled in art school. Brian was taking a year off to work and figure out what he wanted to go to school for her. It seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

And it had given him time to properly grieve. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go to school and work on building a happy life for himself. It’s that the weight and chaos of his last year of high school were overwhelming. He didn’t have the proper time to understand how much the weight of his brothers’ life affected him. He had thought, they would be in each other’s life forever. He still didn’t like going home when he visited his parents, the memory of Vinh lingering. 

Moving in together was good for both of you. It cut your guys rent and living together was easy. He worked at a skateshop by the beach during the day while you went to classes. Taking the bus to get there. He was very supportive of your decision and had gotten your work to hang on the walls of the shop. He was proud to watch you grow. He even talked up your art and beamed when it sold.

Some nights with him rough. He’d be distraught over his brothers' death and the hole it left in his life. You’d soothe him, listening to his words and holding his hand as he cried. Pulling him close, tight.

Other days went well, you two laughing about some silly joke and the faces he’d make at you. He actually had quite the talent of doing impressions, one that you happily egged on.

One thing that you loved, was the sleepy nights in bed. Feet crossed and fished together, slipping against each other’s smooth skin. Brian was like a small radiator. He’d curl up into himself, pulling the sheets of the pillowy duvet cover around him. He’d tug at them, burrito-ing himself, exposing your feet to the cold biting air. 

“Brian-” You’d wine softly, shifting closer to him as you spooned. You could tell he was sad today, he had been quiet all day.

“Yeah?” He sniffled, turning his head softly. 

“Hey- are you alright?” You sat up, pulling his shoulder down against the bed. His face was red, slow tears flowing. 

“Honey,” You cooed, slipping back down and wrapping your arms around his torso. Brian wrapped them around your body, pressing his burry eyes into the pillow as he sobbed. “Shhh,” You whispered, pressing your cheek into his warm chest. “What’s got you upset?” 

“Vinh- again!” He choked bitterly, “I miss him. And I’m so sick of being upset! I hate this Y/N, I want it to end!” He bellowed. His body curled around you, the pressure solid. “I want… I want him back. I wish he didn’t die, I wish I told him how much I cared about him.”

You softly brushed the tears from his eyes, letting it pour out of him. You had learned that this was the time to listen. That you couldn’t change the way he felt. It was grief. “Your love for him is felt, he feels it,” Your soft lips were hushed, like a quiet prayer to his ears.

“I keep thinking if I could have done something that day- like um,” He sniffed, trying to clear his stuffy nose. “I should have convinced him to take that gig at the corner shop,” He shook his head, staring up at the ceiling. “But then I stole that box of pop rocks and blew it for ‘em”

“You’re blaming yourself again.”

“I know… I just, I hate that he’s gone.”

You stroked a hand through his hand.

“I’m alright, I’m…” He looked down at you, thumbing your cheek with a heavy sigh. “You know how I get. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize, he’s your brother. You should be upset.”

“Yeah,” He chuckled, forcing a tiny smile. Trying to peek a bit of happiness for you. He hated getting like this. He knew it hung heavy on the both of you. “Can we get some pizza? I’m hungry.”

“Of course, Bruno’s? Hawaiian with extra bacon?”

“Extra bacon!” He gleamed, bursting out with a laugh. “You’re spoiling me!” He roared, pulling you up and in for a kiss. “Thanks, Y/N,” He hushed, his tender tone creeping into his voice. His hysterics falling away. “I really appreciate you, for everything that you do. I love you,” And those lips came back, pulling you in close as your fingers slipped together for a deep kiss. “I don’t know what I’d without you, you’re my rock Y/N. Thank you,” He sniffed.

Your feet curled together, bodies relaxing as you took in the stillness of the quiet air. A siren passed, the sound drifting into your small apartment together. The two of you layed together, the hum of your warm bodies melting, the weight of each other a comforting feeling. The two of you stayed like that for some time in silence and your bodies grew sleepy. Unmoving in your quiet support for one another.

Eventually, your tummies grumbled. Gurgling with need.

“Y/N?” He whispered in your ear and you shifted, reaching for your phone.

“I got it,” And you called for the pizza. Delivery.