#wanted to join sorta
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Late night postin :)
#everyones been like#drawing their sonas but peepaw/apocalypse form#wanted to join sorta#this was born ksdjfngjf#normal people: proper ass sona#me: what if... lars barriga huh?#steven universe lars#lars posting
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This was gonna be a comic, but I wasn't having fun drawing it, so I scrapped it
You get the cover and outfits section
#art#illustration#fanart#psychonauts#razputin aquato#lili zanotto#sasha nein#milla vodello#raz psychonauts#lili psychonauts#sasha psychonauts#milla psychonauts#outfits#the idea was that Sasha and Milla get assigned to investigate reports of strange psychic happenings at a mall#and Raz hears about it and begs to come along. and Lili's says she's coming if Raz is#and it's likely not very serious so they're allowed as long as they stay out of trouble#but Raz keeps wanting to look at everything and go into all the stores#Lili gets bored that they're not finding anything and joins in Raz's wanting to actually do things#and she sorta convinces Milla as well. by guilt tripping her about how Raz hasn't been to a mall before and so he's never seen any of it#so Sasha's left as the only one taking the mission seriously#also they've got different outfits (other than the ones in the outfits section) so you can tell it's a different time than in the games#I think probably a month or so post psychonauts 2#fav posts
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Honda Oddysey Scene but in Evolution
This is a snippet of my X Men Evolution Deadpool AU that's been on my mind lately. Inspired by the most talked about scene in Deadpool and Wolverine
It was hard to tell when exactly the night rolled around. It was still dawn when they arrived in San Francisco and they haven't left their beaten up meat truck since.
Wolverine was still driving without any kind of direction. His mask was on, but his frown was visible through it. Deadpool, driving shot gun, seemed to had completely dissociated himself from his surroundings. He was switching between radio stations and trying to find the right music. The mutant, unfortunately, had to suffer through each song whenever the other man changed his mind. Currently, they were listening to Cher's 'If I Could Turn Back Time'.
A few seconds passed. Another switch, they were listening to 'War' by Edwin Starr.
Another few seconds. 'Shake your Groove Thing' by Peaches and Herb.
Another few seconds. 'Sugar, Sugar' by the Archies.
Before another few seconds passed, Wolverine reached out and turned off the radio, momentarily returning his attention on the road. The lack of eye contact and how quickly it happened made it come off as passive-aggresive.
"I was listening to that." Deadpool said, in all his audacity. Logan didn't give him the luxury of response. The mercenary tried to focus on the window, but without the background noise, his need to open his mouth grew stronger.
"I was going to give you half of the cut, you know." He said after a second, looking at Wolverine, who still refused to give him time of a day. "I'd never make it not worth your time. Think whatever you want of me, I treat my business partners with respect."
"You lied to me." Logan suddenly growled. Somehow, he sounded even more angry than usual.
"Strike two, ferret man." Deadpool said, making a peace sign at him. "I said that I needed your help, and I said that the old Hydra base could be of interest to you. Not my fault they didn't have any info on your past. That didn't count as lying, I just didn't tell the whole truth."
The mutant snarled, making Deadpool jump. He saw him gripping the wheel, which he was sure would leave a few dents. Not that he planned on returning the vehicle at that point.
"What? Tell me honestly, would you help me if I came up to you and said: 'Hey, Wolvie! Some rich weirdo paid me to go and steal something from this place that looks like a horror rip-off of Area 51! Also, did I mention that this place is full of freaky water tanks? Also also, did you know that apparently, our healing factor isn't immune to drowning?'"
"Would've been nice knowin' that before you waltzed right into a trap." Logan retorted through gritted teeth.
"You've had your healing factor longer than I have." Wade said, leaning against his seat and crossing his arms. "That one's just on you."
And just like that, Wolverine's buttons were pushed. Without any warning, he made a sharp turn. Deadpool regretted not tightening his seatbelt when he had the chance as he crashed onto the door next to his seat. The truck fell off the road and down the hill. It was far from a pleasant experience, but thankfully, it survived to tell the tale. It landed on a beach right under their road. It was empty, so the mutant parked on its sand.
As soon as the vehicle stopped, he swung and punched Wade in the face. The mercenary screamed, hiding it in his hands. He was lucky that he wore his red mask because he was pretty sure Logan broke his nose.
"Dude-!" Wade shouted. Before he fully recovered, he felt a strong grip on his neck. Now that Logan wasn't focusing on the road, all of his rage was directed at him.
"You want an apology? Fine, I'm sorry!" The mercenary managed, holding onto the hand crushing his neck. "If I knew you'd be so mad, I'd ask that brute Sabertooth to come! But I didn't, because I like you more!"
Logan roared as he slammed him against the back of the seat.
"You lied to me! You wasted my time! And because of you, we're bein' hunted down like animals!" The mutant's voice was barely there with all those grunts.
"I didn't lie!-"
"Yes, you did! You used my lost memories against me! You knew how much it meant to me to regain them and you still manipulated me into doin' your dirty work! You used me as a weapon, just like everyone else!"
"... Oh, boo-freaking-hoo!" Deadpool frowned, growing more defensive. That shift caught Wolverine off guard. "Little Wolverine can't remember his first day in new school! Guess what, jerk, I don't remember much after my experimentation either! But I don't let that hold me back! Here are some hard pills to swallow: You're so desperate to know your past that you let me of all people make a monkey out of you! Me! Keep trusting the wrong guys and soon you won't even have a future to look forward to!"
After he finished, he looked back at Wolverine. He was staring at him with this empty look that freaked him out even more than the angry snarl. Suddenly, he let him go and Wade fell back on his seat. He coughed and massaged his neck.
"Look, Wolv. I'm sorry." He tried, because he couldn't handle seeing him like this anymore. "Really, I am. But take it from me, maybe it's better to just forget... No hard feelings?..."
He didn't know yet that he said too much. Wolverine was silent for a few more moments. Then, he wheezed. The mutant threw his back against the seat, and running his hand up his scalp, he succumbed to his laughter. It wasn't a pleasant sound at all. It was strained, almost hysterical, and obviously provoked more by his fury than actual amusement. Still, it was the first time Deadpool actually made him laugh.
"Oh wow!... " The mercenary said through his nervous chuckle that was muted by Wolverine. "So that's how you laugh! Just as terrifying as the rest of you!... I didn't say any joke yet, though."
"You didn't have to." Logan sighed deeply, partially regaining his posture. The next look he gave Wade was entirely venomous.
"You are the biggest joke I've ever seen! There hasn't been as much of an audacious, or insecure, or callous stain on humanity than this manchild I have the displeasure of sittin' right next to! You're good for nothin' but spreadin' mysery everywhere you go! You ain't got no morals, no friends, and you make it everyone's problem, 'cause you can't ever accept the fact that your actions have consequences!" Logan paused to catch his breath. Deadpool visibly shrinked in his own seat. Suddenly, the mutant's claws came out and he shoved them to the back of the truck, scraping its surface in a long line.
"Oh, how I wish I pushed you off that cliff first time we've met! Maybe that would've gotten the message through your dense skull, just how much I want to see you set on fire! Hate doesn't even begin to describe what I'm feelin' towards you! Ain't no wonder why that blue woman you keep yappin' about hasn't come back to you yet! You have to make up an imaginary girlfriend to protect your delicate feelin's from the fact that nobody will ever want you! How 'bout this hard pill to swallow: The doctors that tortured you didn't ruin your life! You did! You have to act like an obnoxious clown, otherwise no one would ever give you the attention you're so obviously cravin'! I can't wait for the day when you'll wake up and realise that you'll be spendin' the rest of eternity alone, and you can thank only yourself for that! But that's just wishful thinkin', 'cause you're-" His claws pulled back and he slammed his fist against the marked metal.
"-too-" Slam!
"-stupid-" Slam!
"-to think of anythin' outside of your own bubble of insanity!" SLAM! The wall bended and partially fell apart, just enough for them to see the inside of their cargo.
At long last came the silence. Logan used his hand to support himself from collapsing. He panted and bared his teeth at the mercenary who grew concerningly quiet. Not for Logan, though.
"No more jokes, bub?" He leaned closer and sneered, not being able to resist one last jab. "Come on, give me a real tear-jerker. I'm feelin' like laughin' for a change."
He looked directly into Deadpool's eyes. All he saw in them were two empty voids. The mutant settled back on his seat and tried to catch his breath. A second later and he would've regretted some of the things he said.
"... Take it back." Deadpool murmured softly. Had it not been for Wolverine's super hearing, he would've missed it.
"You don't know when to quit, do you?" The mutant snorted loudly. It was his own enjoyment of seeing the mercenary be put in his place that led him to lower his guard. Before he knew, Wade grabbed the back of his head, painfully gripping a handful of hair and hood.
"I said take it back!" He roared with the anger he never let anyone see. Without any warning, he slammed Wolverine's head against the front of the car. Then he did it again and on his third time he accidentally turned on the radio.
'Why Can't We Be Friends?' by War started playing.
Slam!
'Express Yourself' by Madonna.
Slam!
'You're the One That I Want' from the musical Grease.
"Why you little-!" Wolverine wouldn't take it any longer. He grabbed onto whatever he could and prevented Deadpool from slamming his head again. He pulled out his claws and jammed them into the other's right shoulder. Wade cried out. Using the moment of distraction, the mutant freed himself. Then, he grabbed Wade's head, pulled him close, and then slammed his head against the radio. This time it played 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart' by Elton John and Kiki Dee.
Despite being a taller man, Deadpool had to trouble slipping into a different position in his limited space. He kicked Logan onto the door, breaking the window and leaving a huge dent. The mutant growled, glaring back at him with pure fire in his eyes. Deadpool tried to throw a hit, but Logan caught his fist and then repeatedly punched him in the face. Wade dodged and a hit full of claws meant for him punctured the already beat down back of the truck.
The mercenary used this for his advantage. He managed to grab Logan by the shoulders and then threw him in order to take down the rest of the space separating them from the cargo. They both fell into the cold, smelly abyss where they could barely see each other. Not that it would stop them.
#a few things for context#•logan and wade go way back. they began as enemies until they became kinda sorta neutral with each other until they actually became friends#•this takes place between the beginning of their neutral phase#•before logan joined xavier he tried regaining his memories. wade knew about that and one day he told logan he found a lead#•he didn't but he needed logan for a merc job#•it went bad so they had to flee. wade rented a meat track as a getaway car because of course he did. it even has actual meat inside#•several weeks after this incident wade actually found a way to help logan restore some of his memories and things were fine again#deadpool#wolverine#logan howlett#wade wilson#x men#x men evolution#x men evolution deadpool au#also worth to mention#•wade thinks vanessa is dead. she's not but he saw her “die”#•the imaginary gf logan talks about is death. wade wanted to brag but no one believed him#do i tag deadpool and wolverine? technically it's the honda odyssey scene#eh#technically not poolverine too but yknow#chaotic writing
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jolted awake bc i needed to draw rebel pilot anakin.
#obikin#RECKLESS PILOT ANAKIN WORRYING OBIWAN MAKING HIM WONDER IF THIS IS THE LAST TIME HELL SEE HIM AGAIN#its always too close#original pilot au was from this fic that was actually vader joining the rebels for obiwan#but that seemed a bit hard to convey#what with my limited braincells#ANYWAY anakin does fancy ass maneuvers bc he wants obiwan to praise him....#obiwan does (reluctantly)#but thats ok#anakin can get the praise he wants later :]]]#i just had a thought#it would be cool if in this au anakin still sorta has the presence of vader? except its the full pilot suit with helmet on#liek maybe the rebel base got attacked and obiwan got hurt#then anakin swoops in and starts killing everybody#idk if itll be as sexc since he only has a blaster but#much to think about#sw
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why do i have to be WIPs georg why can't i just be normal and have ONE maybe even TWO ideas at a time. i am drowning. i want to write but i am DROWNING.
#its fine its okay we're all good#i just have decision paralysis and cant decide where to focus my attention#(clacky keyboard heehehooohoo)#ill survive tho#maybe i will ask the skk discord i joined. make an attempt at actually engaging kshf#but there are just...... so many..... so many ideas........#i am SO SERIOUS if anyone needs any skk fic ideas just ask me i would be more than willing to part with some of mine#i just want to see them written ;;;;#i will even be 100% up for brainstorming more with you about them and being a cheerleader i promise i just#there are SO MANY#shh ac#skk#bsd#sorta
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Man finishing school term and wanna rest, draw and work on comms more, but then like 2ish weeks later, boom, gotta fix stuff to start the new school term again
Mannn i just wanna do nothing but draw blorbos and backed up ideas and all the sketch wips i havent even finished ; ;
Idk school for me just throws off the vibes fr fr
#text post#idc what others might think#but college is not ALWAYS the end all be all#i know so many people irl close to me who dropped outta college#they just didnt find school to be productive and had little to no benefits for them and what they really wanted to do#they dropped out and started their own careers and businesses#the sorta jobs they wanted to do generally didnt require any form of higher education like a spoecialized college degree#or they just joined their already established family business and are doing just fine#ive wantched and listened to lots and looots of other professional artists viewpoints about art school#it really is a 50/50 thing#if u find it enjoyable and beneficial for your situation then go for it#but if u know you can grow faster in your career and skills learning on your own then you dont really need art school#i think one of the big differences in being a college dropout and being successful#is really just being self disciplined and smart with what you want to do#ig this is a rant lol#but yeah#it all boils down to personal situation#i want to live independently asap#and sadly where i live#having a college degree is a huge advantage in getting local job positions that need specialized skillsets
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Sometimes I feel that Barnaby and Wally have this friendship like big bro/Lil bro, and Howdy being Barnabys bf has to put up with a lot of Wallys shenanigans for Barnaby (doesn't mind cause he also adores Wally I'm a big bro way)
i view them (as a trio) Similarly! though a little to the Left cause i don't view Barnaby & Wally's relationship as big/lil bro. rn to me they're very close friends - borderline queerplatonic! like... Wally is Barnaby's special little guy, yk?
so in my mind, in this trio, Wally's not exactly a. uh. third wheel to Barnaby/Howdy i suppose? oh this is difficult to translate into words - he's part of the relationship without being Part of it if that makes any sense? like of course he's gonna be With them a lot. Barnaby's not gonna be like "ok go do something else so i can make doe eyes at Howdy". that's his Little Buddy. they're gonna Include him as much as possible, i'd imagine. and i doubt Wally would mind being around while they flirt chat. he'd probably love being Barnaby's "wingman"
#and since its canon that all of the neighbors like wally - howdy would probably be delighted to have him around!#who wouldn't want to hang with him??#honestly barnaby could probably show up to one of their dates w/ wally in tow#and howdy'd be like 'oh hi wally! joining us this evening? lets go then!'#honestly i view barnaby/howdy + wally similar to like#a married couple whose best friend lives with them#thats the best analogy i can think of atm#hes very involved in my mind. barnaby is extremely important to him yk?#i like to... muddy traditional relationships and Expected Dynamics#i find it interesting and a bit more real in a way?#like not every relationship - platonic or romantic - is gonna be clear cut or 'typical'#love & relationships are much more varied and nuanced than what is more often than not portrayed#plus idk it sorta rankles when i see platonic relationships sorta sidelined or viewed as something to be 'put up with' by the romantic side#theyre important! and platonic love is not Less than romantic love. its just... different. to the Left.#am i aromantic? i might be aromantic. maybe? idk. am i? hm. something for me to Not think about <3#rambles from the bog#laughingstock#insert meme here of the three of them holding hands#picturing sally introducing them like: this is howdy & this is howdy's boyfriend barnaby & this is barnaby's best friend wally#to be very clear here i do not ship wally with anyone in the Least. like At All. i have thought and pondered on this a lot#hes so aroacepilled in my mind....#and that only frees up space for him to get Funky with his relationships hell yeah you go little buddy#hes living my dream smh. in my head at least#the imaginings i have are Different from canon obviously#which is half the fun!#in canon i hope things get messy as hell. i hope it hurts me as well as the characters#i hope the dynamics i have in my head get dashed against the rocks and then decimated by ocean waves#i hope i can look back upon these posts and cackle evilly at my past self's naivety#future me i just Know you're having a delightfully painful time. enjoy <3 ill catch up eventually <3
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I think chuuya would help me feel less guilty abt buying or wanting things that i don't need... he sees me looking longingly at a cute plushie and asks if i want it and im like Well... I don't really need it tho :( and he's like But you want it and it'll make you happy right? I'll get it for you 😤😤 He would INSIST i get something that would make me happy even if it's not a necessity and he WOULD buy it for me if I wouldn't
#txt#i sorta hc that he was the same way once he joined the mafia and had an income...#but after the f///lags he started buying random things for himself if he wanted them#bc they would always give him random trinkets and stuff since his apartment was so bare#or would also insist *he* get himself non necessities#so he tries to do the same for me#♡ ☄️
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Laursen is so good with people. He's not even assigned to wardening as a high priority, but whenever he takes a turn at it, he succeeds. I love him so much.
I also love Euclid, she's cool. The psychopath trait will definitely help her fit right in with the cult, I reckon.
Her name is probably supposed to reference the ancient Greek mathematician of the same name, based on the whole "genies are the smart xenotype" thing, but... I can't help but think of it as her SCP object class, lmao.
Euclid immediately set to work proving herself as a capable new member of the cult, and now Vasso is dressed to the nines in his new masterwork cape.
Then poor Cecil got sick, so he's taking a break from helping around the colony and getting some well-deserved rest.
And finally, two bionic thrumbos wandered onto the map and I fell in love immediately. Nobody in the colony has an animal skill high enough to tame them, sadly.
Worry not, though! Our Drakonori prisoner, Magic Man, has a decent animal handling skill. When we recruit him, his first task to prove himself will be taming these thrumbos! No pressure, Magic Man.
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#rimworld#gracie plays#The Children of Ecthuctu#art#my art#traditional art#rimworld art#unpolished art#slightly more polished art than usual#Euclid had level 17 crafting skill when she was recruited#Over the course of making human leather capes she has mastered it#I am in awe#She is a god-tier colonist and I love her#I do find it fun that her name is a reference to a Greek mathematician#I sorta imagine Vasso is Greek so it's a cute coincidence#The SCP idea is more fun tho#Cecil is fine don't worry#Vasso is an excellent doctor#even for animals#I hope Magic Man joins us soon!! I want robot Thrumbos!!#have an awesome day everyone!! xoxo
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thank you for staying with me for another year! 💕
#wip#bc by the time i finish this i might be a tad bit late to the party..#either way - i didnt want to deprive my account of something to celebrate the turn of the year.#and welcome to the new faces joining in thanks to my yuri spiral! yeah - im seeing you!#here’s to another descent into madness :3#and hopefully more! i am looking forward to expanding on my stories too…#zanhisa#hisami yomotsu#zanmu nippaku#sorta based on my silly interpretation of zanhisa cobbled by scientific insight (fellow zanhisa enthusiasts)#東方Project#rkgk#doodles#redraw#artists on tumblr#artist on tumblr
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wip - trying to doodle my rarepair on the beach and i can't stop trying to make emo ideas happen so im spitting out here to get it out of my head eustace and isaac could be cute !! just let them have their peace and quiet!! I'm starting to rotating them in my mind !!
#kickdraw#granblue fantasy#isaac gbf#esutace gbf#what do i even call this pairing - who cares im the only one out here on this boat ive seen post so far (join me hahaaaa)#eusaac#istace#??? - no idea lmao#reading isaac's fate ep made me so emo knowing how his parents treated him and grace - im glad he got her out of there cause oooouuuggghhh#anyway hear me out on them (I have almost nothing here yet lmao)#we take the 2 sorta solitary dudes on the team and we shove them together : )#they barely interact before HSM - but yaknow im having my fun out here rotating them lol#just 2 dudes with their lives dedicated to a mission forced on them from childhood both ending their mission and moving on at the same time#guys who would relate to each other maybe if they ever spoke to each other but are too solitary probably - oops oops#grand zeta fate ep says isaac is now working for society fixing up the weapons and needs to work on ranged weaponry next : )#eustace is the most stoic dude vs isaac being the most visibly nervous dude in the plotline - anyway i think they should kiss#could probably compare their characters more here but i'll just do it in a separate post sometime lol#edit - I FORGOT im eternally emo over how isaac got his arm eaten lmao#im want to draw 500 references to it cause it was really metal
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You know I think it'd been fun to be in a band. But I have literally no idea where to begin looking. I have no irl friends (no Offence to my mutuals y'all just rarely live in the same continent let alone the same state as I do) so I can convince anyone to give it a go with me. I'm sorta a mediocre singer who's trying to teach them self's guitar (I desperately need new strings) by using YouTube. Not without mention I'd much rather play the drums or bass but I can't afford that. The only thing I've really got going for me is that I can write decent songs more often than not (in my own opinion so idk how well that actually holds up). Then we get to the fact I live smack in the middle of the Bible belt and I don't know how much I can trust people to except me as all that I am. Like I'm so close to appling for a job at hot topic or Spencer's just to find people to talk to, I mostly just want irl friends. I'm so f*cking lonely.
#metal music#alternative music#music#new wave#goth music#goth#heavy metal#metalhead#metal#grunge#bands#musician#vocalist#sorta#hopefully a guitarist one day#oh and i can play the sax 🎷 a little#i wanna join a band#i want irl friends
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"And I know if they did you'd know what to do" OUGH AUGH man.....the thing is I think she's right, but im not sure, hopefully we never ever have to find out!
#critical role#critical role spoilers#i dont want dark fearne or imogen fr fr#its not gonna happen it just wont#but now i am picturing orym with opal#would he take her down#would he go fyra rai style and join up sorta#man
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Do they match eachothers freak
#dumping art on here because its been a while#nothing is happening in the last one i swear#capson or caps is my pokemon insert/oc they are a grass type trainer that really really likes partying and caring for the environment#they have a scovillain which is VERY spoiled#and sometimes it bites gios legs#still don't know exactly how they met giovanni tbh. I reckon they went to kanto on a trip to challenge all gym leaders to get stronger#was really really pissed off at team rocket and really wanted to help take them down.#all that fell apart challenging the viridian city gym#there was INSTANT tension and chemistry oughh#and capson is way too easily flustered. they make out theyre super chill and confident#gios voice alone drove them insane#which led to a lot of conflicting feelings between the two of them#capson being a huge do gooder and giovanni being well. Evil#but Capson was kinda into it#and i reckon they had an on and off sorta relationship until giovanni focused less on team rocket not fully disbanding it but it was more#in the background for him#and giovanni totally had all his focus on capson#especially with Capson walking around his office and being overly affectionate all the time#made it hard for gio to concentrate because he was just like nfnfjfjfhdjfjfjgj i love this little idiot#but sometimes i think about capson becoming a team rocket grunt#and meeting gio that way#capson having a rough start in life and struggling financially led them to join team rocket#it wasnt meant to last long#they were still challenging gyms and things on the side#but them and giovanni could Not keep their hands off eachother#they both fell so in love#and giovanni splashes so much money on capson they dont even have to stress about anything ever again#oc x canon#self ship
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Could someone tell me where the interpretation that, in book canon, the promotion Nie Mingjue gives Meng Yao made Meng Yao's life worse than it was before, came from?
I have seen that claim made multiple times now and I've looked at the text over and over trying to see where the basis for it is and I. Can't find it? Don't get me wrong, it absolutely spells out that it does not and cannot fix everything for Meng Yao, but the idea that it was actively bad for him?
Lacking other evidence, I kind of have to assume that it comes from cql canon being sort of projected backwards onto book canon. In cql canon, meng yao is suffering active and explicit bullying and abuse from the captain while under the nie, and does so because the capain believes he has risen above his station via nmj's promotion of him. (In book canon this... isn't happening. It happens with the captain in Langya instead) However, in cql canon he has also been with the nie for years and is openly close to both Nie Mingjue and Nie Huasiang, whereas in book canon he has only been working with nie mingjue for a few months (though has, in that time, apparently become close enough to him for Lan Xichen to explicitly state Meng Yao is able to calm nmj down in ways no one else can? Ofc he does this... Right after that stops being true. But. Food for thought. Not what this post is about tho.) So, if you project the much more explicit abuse from the nie sect captain in cql back on novel jgy who has a presumably much less stable position in the sect overall you get... a meng yao for whom the promotion only means a bigger target on his back and virtually no protection from nmj, who we must assume he can't trust to talk to his about because he never mentions it. (This also explicitly violates book canon when it comes to meng yao's general behaviour, we'll talk about that in a sec)
And look. We all do frankencanon in this house. I get it. And for fanfiction that is very fun. But for a serious reading of the character, his situation, and the actions that lead from that this... doesn't make much sense, in my opinion.
So. Why is that? Why did I say this was out of character for the novel? Because Meng yao spoke up about the jin captain mistreating him. Multiple times! It's just that none of it mattered because no one cared to listen to him. This is a pretty important line for his character because it flatly shows that meng yao is not and has never seen murder as something trivial. He's not trigger happy. He will only do it if he sees no other way out that doesn't end in himself being seriously harmed. (Whether he's right or justified in these cases is not the point of this post.)
If anything remotely similar was happening in the Nie sect, he would have said so. Cql Meng Yao doesn't do this because cql Meng Yao is a different character, and also the plot wouldn't work if he did. Cql Nie Mingjue, by extension, comes off as a fundamentally less trustworthy figure in cql Meng Yao's life because apparently for whatever reason, he cannot be trusted with the information that the deputy he has already publicly defended is still being harassed, and doesn't notice even when it is really blatant. The assumtpion the audience is given is that, like a middle schooler getting the principal involved when being bullied, it would only make the harassment more viscious.
This... actually has a somewhat solid basis in the book. Because after nmj yells at the bullies in question Wei Wuxian says this.
And it is important to keep in mind that this is Wei Wuxian saying this. Not Meng Yao, not an omniscient narrator. Wei wuxian is drawing on his own experiences, likely from the Jiang family, to conclude that if someone is angry at you and thwarted by someone defending you, this generally does not make them less angry at you.
This is leaving out two crucial things, though.
Firstly, this worry isn't about the promotion at all.
The promotion hasn't even been brought up. In the novel it doesn't ctually happen immediately, it takes another few battles where meng yao continues to do his job well and nie mingjue continues praising him for him to eventually go "yeah, you deserve a raise."
This is another aspect that is being projected from cql canon onto book canon I presume, because it does happen quite quickly there, and it's a throwaway line in the books so it's easy to miss. I can't be mad about anyone forgetting the difference, but it is important to mention for this particular analysis.
Which is the second point: change in status
Wei Wuxian couldn't exactly change status within the Jiang family. (And if he could, that would just fuel rumours that he was jfm's bastard even more and make madam yu even angrier at him, etc etc.)
This isn't comparable to Meng Yao. The worry Wei Wuxian is talking about is explitly about Nie Mingjue's initial very loud defense of him. Before he has any idea Nie Mingjue is going to promote him.
Promoting him would likely decrease his chances of cultivators coming after him because now he was in a higher standing in the sect than they were. If applied to that earlier metaphor of middle school bullying it's like if the bullied kid suddenly got hired as a teacher. Which. Doesn't work with the metaphor at all. Touché. But what I am trying to say is that any payback they would have planned for him relied on the fact that they could make sure that Nie Mingjue wasn't going to be within very convenient earshot a second time, and as a random disciple Meng Yao couldn't just go complain to him every time.
But as his right hand man? Who spends most of his time working directly alongside him? Lmao. Good luck. Oh, sure, it is very likely that they feel offended a son of a whore has been raised in status above them, and many will continue to do so as jgy rises through cultivation society (in fact, Wei Wuxian's observations are absolutely on point for how Madam Jin will be treating jgy later on). But as we can also see from the way jgy is treated and how he treats others throughout the story: you can be upset all you want, but if that person is higher than you in status there's jack shit you can do about it.
If I am correct and Wei Wuxian is basing this on his experiences with the Jiang family, it makes sense why he'd miss this. Madam Yu gets to be way angrier at Jiang Fengmian as his wife than some random disciples can be at Nie Mingjue. Insulting Meng Yao, suggesting that he didn't deserve his promotion or that he earned it through less than proper means (you know who is mother is) is also an insult to Nie Mingjue and the way he chooses to run his sect. They can't do that.
Another thing I see brought up in this regard would be the tea scene. There may be no explicit harassment like in the show, but cultivators still don't respect him! The disrespect is just quieter and more subtle.
Tiny detail: these are actually not Nie cultivators
They're cultivators Lan Xichen is escorting with him, making a pitstop in heijan.
The book confirms this by basically outright stating that this is the first time they see his face, and recognize him as Jin Guangshan's bastard son.
Now, just because there is no proof that it happened doesn't mean it definitely never happened. Mdzs is a novel that often leaves stuff out or up to interpretation. Similar stuff to the tea situtation could very well be happening in the background. But I do think it is pretty significant that there is no mention whatsoever of Meng Yao having any negative treatment from Nie cultivators betwen him and Nie Mingjue meeting and him executing them while spying for Wen Ruohan, and the most we get is Wei Wuxian's personal speculation, after which he immediately goes to wax poetic about how surprised he is that Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue are getting along super well.
And, again, novel Meng Yao would have said something. He doesn't say anything about the tea scene. - Or? Does he? Notably 3zun have some very long in depth conversations that Wei Wuxian zones out from because he's busy thinking about Lan Zhan again. But let's not rely on what-ifs. Let's say that neither he nor Lan Xichen find it worth bringing up. Major reasons for that would be that a) these are not nie cultivators, nie mingjue wouldn't really have the authority to scold them. Especially because b) it's such a subtle offense it could easily be handwaved as coincidence. "They just always brush their cups clean like that!! It's wartime you know, and they were traveling! They're used to drinking from vessels that aren't thoroughly washed everytime! It's just a habit!" And would therefore not be worth reporting.
But anything worse than that? A "price tens or hundreds of times greater" like wwx mentions? He'd report it! I do understand that "well if it was happening why didn't he say something?" would, in real life, be victim blaming. This is not real life, and I am not talking about this in a matter of blame. If Meng Yao was being mistreated in the Nie and stayed silent about it, it would still not be his fault. I am talking about this in a manner of character consistency.
His admission of seeking help in the Jin sect shows that at that time and prior to it (a very good argument can be made that he loses faith in this idea) he believes that if he is being mistreated and someone with the authority to say something about it takes his side, things can improve. If Nie Mingjue standing up for him in Qinghe only made things worse, he would not have tried to ask for help in an even more hostile environment. You can call Meng Yao many things, but naïve isn't one of them.
Meng yao's later habit of completely isolating himself and lying to everyone around him comes from the fact that revealing his suffering would mean explaining several horrible things he's become complicit in and he does not feel safe admitting to that. But he's done nothing wrong here!
The reading where he says nothing would imply an either correct or incorrect belief in Meng Yao's eyes that Nie Mingjue did not much care for his wellbeing or safety. Oh sure he defended him once but doing so again multiple times would be such a bother. This also contradicts his later behaviour, where he banks solely on Nie Mingjue's protective instincts to seal his qi and escape during the confrontation in Langya. After having been caught murdering a man, he is still convinced Nie Mingjue will immediately try to help him when he is in serious danger.
And even if you very badly want to characterize Nie Mingjue as a blundering idiot who is apparently less trustworthy in Meng Yao's eyes than the jin cultivators who had already resoundly rejected him by the time he tries to ask for help with the langya captain. He doesn't say anything to Xichen either! Lan Xichen, who has explicitly and exhaustively been portrayed as kind and understanding to Meng Yao's circumstances and very willing to talk to Mingjue if Meng Yao wants something from him he doesn't otherwise think he'd get. The conversation Mingjue overhears where Meng Yao's new position in the Nie is explictly brought up would be kind of the perfect time to go "yeah I've been promoted but I'm not treated well by other soldiers" aaaand. Nothing. So unless you come to the conclusion that Meng Yao trusted the Jin he told about the captain's abuse more than Lan Xichen you kind of have to conclude that Meng Yao's treatment after his promotion improved significantly. And that even if people still disliked him they could not openly do anything about it because he was high enough in status for that to be socially inappropiate. Which is, explicitly, one of his main motivators over the entire course of the story: Avoiding mistreatment by getting high enough on the social ladder it doesn't matter what people think of him, they can't hurt him.
And I'm not sure how to reconcile that character journey with the idea that he would, at any point, have preferred to keep his head down and stay where he was. When he was so desperate to crawl his way out.
#the main tragedy of his character- of course- being that he keeps achieving that status and it is never enough#he achieves standing with the nie and the favor of a major sect leader and it's not enough for his father to even give him the time of day#he kills wrh amd becomes a war hero and gets acknowledged by his father!!#and all it gets him is nmj's constant distrust abuse at the hands of his stepmother and complicity in mass murder by his father's orders#he gets to the HIGHEST POSITION SOCIETY HAS. LITERAL CHIEF CULTIVATOR. And the moment he stumbles everyone turns on him immediately#like they were all just waiting for him to get low enough again that they could kick him further down#it's a rise-fall-rise-fall-rise-fall journey with every step up being a desperate fight and every tumble down being way too quick and easy#but! that rise still needs to be there!! for the story to work!!#the tragedy of qinghe for meng yao is how easily he loses nmj's fsvor. NOT that having it was bad in the first place#I understand that this reading is mainly done to put nmj in a bad light but I do genuinely think it does jgy a disservice#people more often apply this to him becoming jin guangyao which does in a lot of ways doom and trap him#and yes fuck jgs fuck that guy all the way to hell#but the key is that meng yao can't just get a happy ending by refusing power#he's not power hungry. what he wants is in fact reasonable- he's just willing to do a lot more than most to get it#'things would've been better if nmj didn't promote him/didn't send him to langya'#feels as reductive to me as the 'why can't he just be xichen's house boyfriend and join the lan instead' takes.#mdzs#meng yao#jin guangyao#mdzs meta#? sorta#feels too ranty to call meta#this is what i was talking about in my past post about how frustrating it is to base metas around disagreeing with others#makes analysis feel like discourse when that is NOT what i am trying to do#long post with long tags
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We think the obsession with making mental illness appear to be something one suffers from and / or changes (or ruins) their entire life causes a lot of this paranoia one is faking their illness. Self diagnosis is something we advocate for as we’d rather someone look into recovery for something they may or may not have then never know. That and, most just cannot afford to get a diagnosis (+ for some an official diagnosis would mean putting their livelihood at risk). However the act of show casing mental illness as wholly damaging can create an idea of idealized mental illness. This idea that one must be in constant suffering to justify their diagnosis. Mental illness though is muted, it’s a subtle thing we find, even the most severe cases. Dissociation detaches you from yourself but you still exist as an entity, which can be mistaken as “healthy”. Hallucinations are not often grandiose but rather small intrusions on your life, things which make living an inconvenience but nothing to the level of a horror film. Intrusive thoughts and violent outbursts are real and something which should be discussed but this idea it is otherworldly or obscene helps no one. Most if not all mental illness symptoms can appear quietly. If it were understood just how “normal” it may feel to be mentally ill then perhaps people wouldn’t be so scared to accept themselves. People often think “I relate but it’s not as extreme” when the truth is it’s never entirely that extreme to begin with. Episodes are momentary, mental illness can be debilitating but even in that state it is never full force every moment. Understanding that the mentally ill are closer to you than you realize is an important step to understanding and welcoming the mentally ill into our communities . And accepting ourselves.
#we study psyche and are heavily mentally ill ourself and thus advocate greatly for those in pain to find#any way possible to relieve it#the thing of faking is it’s such a nothing thing when you truly examine it.#if you found out by scientific standards (which are flawed as well) that you weren’t what you thought#that is not your fault whatsoever because the initial thought you had was based around actual experience#nothing sinister or wrong#it’s never wrong to suspect you may be hurting#adults often ask us why we aren’t going into psyche. the truth is we feel that feild is just not ready to handle actual mentally ill people#which is a sad statement in of itself . but that’s how we view it#we’d rather pull out hair than speak among people who all joined a feild because they’re interested in people like me#‘helping those in need’ is a great cause but in those environments can quickly become a sorta of savior complex#to which we do not want to face willingly#this is all to say we’re very lucky and have a great therapist currently. we do not think all people in this are bad#we think really people just need to examine their biases#there are people who need another to help them and this will never be wrong#however if you find yourself in the role of caretaker please reflect often#so as to not find yourself undermining that which you take care of#these are still people after all#writing
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