#wanna wife you up so bad
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chron omg i can't tell you how much i love you for this bc dazzling light is not my fav fic that i've ever written so to hear such high praise from you is making my heart melt like i read through this reblog twice and realised that i don't even remember what some points are about LOL but i shall try my best to reply 😭🩵
i like this blessing-curse of yours bc my blessing-curse is putting things off until the last moment (procrastination basically) and when i'm under pressure i actually produce better results LOL. but anyways glad this felt like a first read hoho
the speech was good? 😭😭 thank you so much that's prob one of the major reasons i wish to rewrite this fic (i think all authors can relate to some extent how we want to redo our old works) (but reblogs like these are what makes me keep them as they are LOL you can see my character growth thru these fics AHAHAHA)
okay first and foremost i must tell you that this fic is heavily inspired by the kdrama 'angel's last mission: love' and if you haven't watched it you simply must it's so good. the first scene you're pointing out was also taken from there (i think) (it's been so long bruhh)
i am almost convinced yeosang is a natural blonde except he slays dark hair colour so well too man is just perfect in every sense and ethereal is the word for him hence angel!yeosang.
OMG SEE I WOULD ADD DETAILS LIKE THESE IF I REWRITE you caress yeosang's feather and yeosang who's in the middle of a fight with some demons curls in on himself and starts giggling bc it tickles making the demons step back and wonder if he's insane-
i should have tagged this as stalker!yeosang mans was really testing us out there AHAHAHA but we love it when it's yeosang and when it's for valid reasons ig? 😀😀 also you're right sth about someone who's supposed to be calm in every sense losing their temper IS SO INCREDIBLY HAWT like i can't resist that even tho it's so overused its my fav thing to read
omg that line 'do you think the human could move on after being loved by an angel' reminds me of this post that i read in an image once (image lost to the void don't ask me what i typed in google search to find this) but this stuck with me so hard. i simply must share this :'))
AND YES THAT LINE i want to burn and you won't let me HOHO i'm ngl i was quite pleased with that line too AND THE FACT THAT IT'S ANGEL YEOSANG SAYING THIS JUST CHERRY ON TOP
ALSO WHAT DID MY GIRL SIERRA DO I FORGOT SKDJGHJDFG but yeah she was the comic relief that i remember (was she)
and dohyun poopiehead exactly there's no better word for him
DFHGHKDJHG was that sentence really moanworthy (i think i need to reread this fic) (i sometimes reread my fics when i want to go back to the headspace i was in when writing a certain fic but sadly haven't gone back to this one)
yeosang's wings and this scene is my fav part about this fic! thank you for comprehending it exactly the way i wanted to :'))
HIS REINCARNATION AS A HUMAN WE CHEERED HOHO ngl i had no idea how to make it work i'd prob change this part if i ever rewrite (i won't rewrite i don't have the stamina man 😭😭 ) but yeah what a sight him coming out of water with that pretty birthmark on full display what else do we need huh
WOOYOUNG THE DESIGNATED ATZ DON'T-LET-ANYONE-HAVE-A-GOOD-MOMENT MEMBER LOL he's just jealous yeosang has something else to boast about other than their years (centuries, in this case) long friendship methinks loll
this was so fun to read and reply to, really from the bottom of my heart thank you so much for reading again and reblogging with such amazing feedback. i hope your pillow is always cold, your socks are never wet, and that you find yourself an angel like this kang yeosang (with the cockiness and everything LOL)
also we're married now where do we go for our honeymoon? ;)
Dazzling Light
angel!yeosang x human!reader
genre and warnings: fluff, angst, suggestive, mention of su!cide, car accident, murder, mild violence
word count: ~25k
synopsis: yeosang's last mission as an angel is to prevent you from taking your life. however, you find a loophole when he tries to erase your memory afterwards, preventing him from moving on to the afterlife. as the two of you encounter each other a few times, yeosang decides to take your advice and live a little like a normal human before moving on, but ends up falling in love- forbidden and with consequences.
"I'm ready when you're ready!"
You put on your helmet after grinning at your best friend, kick-starting your bike, accelerating it a bit before looking back at her.
"On your mark, missy!"
You both stood at the line where you were going to start racing- you two weren't professionals, but this long road was empty and you both just wanted to race a bit, test your new bikes which you'd bought together.
As soon as you said the countdown, the two of you accelerated on a steady speed, hooting and laughing at each other, side by side as you drove at the empty road framing the hill. You went that extra notch by accelerating to a higher speed, ignoring your friend's warning with a shake of your head indicating that it was okay, and really, everything was okay, until-
Until a car drove straight at you from the sharp turn and you only had time to skid your bike away a little to avoid a crash, resulting in you plummeting down and crashing in a tree, your fall cushioned from the soft grass, only enough to save you but not enough to avoid a fracture or two.
But your accident wasn't painful- the crash you heard of vehicles colliding right after you fell was the most horrible sound you'd heard in your life, and your eyes went wide in horror as you realized-
You woke up drenched in sweat, muffling down your scream.
Your breathing was uneven as you turned your neck to look at the time- half past 5 in the morning. You shook your head, burying your face in your hands as you took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm your heart down, the ache in your leg growing. But it was no use.
Your life was a mess. Everyone was still waiting for an opportunity to get rid of you.
As you lay down and shut your eyes, you decided it then. You'd finally give up. There really was no point in living anymore.
-------------------
"What a day to be alive."
Yeosang stood at the edge of the roof of the 60-story building, looking ahead at the vast sky stretching endlessly with the sun shining through the fluffy clouds, instead of peering down at the traffic. He took a deep breath, inhaling in the fresh air, shutting his eyes close, revelling in the peace until he heard an ashy sound in the air and opened one eye to look at the message on a piece of paper.
Last mission. Save her from killing herself. 7 o'clock.
Yeosang raised his eye at the message, reading it again before burning it to ash with a simple wave of his fingers.
This wasn't an unusual order- as an angel, Yeosang had saved many from an untimely death, never questioning why he was saving only certain humans- he supposed they had a greater purpose to fulfil, something that would either change the course of time or wouldn't affect it entirely- as wrong as it sounded, because that made him wonder if certain humans were worth more than the others.
But this was his last mission. After a century and a half of maintaining a perfect record, always completing his jobs in the best way possible and abiding by the rules, he was finally given his last mission after which he could move on to the afterlife.
Yeosang sighed, trying to calm the nervous roiling in his stomach, which he was trying to convince himself was because of the anxiety of the last mission and whether it would go well, but really, he had a gut feeling that something was going to go very, very wrong this time.
Yeosang willed his wings to spread wide, spreading his hands and dropping down, almost diving down before finally flying upwards, wondering if he would ever be able to fly so freely in the sky again, wondering what the afterlife held for him, an abstract concept he'd been blindly following ever since he came into being as an angel with no past- or no memories- if he had one.
Flying into the endless sky, Yeosang smiled as a single tear left his eye. He would miss Earth dearly.
-----------------
You sat in front of the mirror, brushing your limp hair, the paleness of your skin more obvious because of the dark circles under your eyes. A knock sounded on the door and Sierra, your housekeeper, entered.
"Good morning, miss," she straightened her blouse, going for the windows and spreading the curtains apart, "Lovely day today."
"Lovely," you scoffed, "Who's planning to murder me today? You can tell them to not try anymore- I'm wondering if I should end this once and for all."
Sierra narrowed her eyes at you, "Are you going to work properly at the office now? You really should be going back now- make some effort as the sole heir of your father's company."
"My father is handling it perfectly well," you simply said, pinning your hair back, "And his son can inherit the business. I don't want to be a part of anything, and I'm going to the office today to wrap things up."
Sierra stopped arranging your stuff as she heard that, turning to look at you. You completed your office ensemble by sliding your feet into the black pointy kitten heels, turning to Sierra, who was standing with her mouth open and she finally said, "But miss, he's not the legitimate heir, and he won't inherit anything unless you willingly hand it to him. And what's this about wrapping everything up? What are you planning? Not another one of your pranks, is it? I'll have a heart attack one day and you would be the cause."
You took your purse, "You'll know by tonight, no pranks this time- and don't wait for me. I'll be back late," you said and started towards the door, stopping abruptly and then turning to Sierra, the only friend you had in your lonely life, especially after the death of your best friend. You walked to her, awkwardly raising your hand and patting her shoulder twice, smiling at her and almost laughing when you saw just how surprised she was. "Don't get used to it."
"I... won't," Sierra laughed, "You okay?"
"Yep," you saluted, "take care, Sierra."
"You sound like you're going away or something," she frowned, "Not going to party tonight, are you?"
"Oh yes," you smirked dangerously, "Expect a fucking feast soon."
With that, you took your walking cane and left, Sierra shouting 'language!' at you, making you smile sadly. She would probably be the only one who'd miss you when you're gone.
You debated going without your driver- even if you had to party, your driver/bodyguard-of-sorts would always accompany you, whether you liked it or not. You really wanted your last moments of your life alone without someone shadowing you. You rolled your eyes as your driver opened the door with a knowing look and you sped towards the car, huffing loudly as you sat in.
"To the office, miss?"
"Where else would I go at this ungodly hour," you grimaced at him, making him stifle his smile.
Reaching the parking lot, you took the lift to the 10th floor where your father's office was, hoping to see his face at least once. It's not like you expected anything from him, and yet-
Yet as you neared his office, your limp became worse. You had been walking just fine earlier, not even needing the cane- an accessory most of the time but a necessity whenever you were nervous or stressed. You cursed yourself internally as you walked into his office, greeting the secretary.
"Your father is having an official meeting, and has a busy schedule today. How much time do you need?"
"Not more than 5 minutes," you told her, and she eyed you from under her glasses.
"Are you sure? He needs to be in a good mood for the next meeting especially."
You clenched your jaw, stifling to ask just what her problem was, "just... let me see him once. Please."
The secretary scoffed as she ran a hand through her blonde bob and took off her glasses, "Did I hear a please from your mouth?"
You leaned forward, mustering the most disgusted face you could manage, "Are you gonna report this to Dohyun too? Should I tell my father that you have the hots for my brother- at this age?"
"Step-brother," she corrected through her teeth, "And take a seat, miss. The meeting should be over in 10."
Satisfied, you did exactly that, staring at her and making her squirm in her seat as she tried to concentrate on her work. Exactly 10 minutes later, a group of men left the room, and she motioned for you to wait as she went inside, returning after a few seconds and saying, "Your father's asking if it's really necessary."
You felt your heart twist, getting up and ignoring her protests as you went inside, looking around at the unnervingly neat and arranged office, your father relaxing in his chair as he sipped his coffee. "Hello, father."
"What's the matter?"
"Just stopping by to say hello- I haven't seen you in days," you didn't bother taking a seat, "Not that you miss me or anything, but you could have asked for me."
"I was busy," he simply said, avoiding looking at you, making you smile a bit- you knew all about his engagements- something that involved women apart from work, "I have another meeting in 5 minutes and I'd like to relax, if you'd allow me."
"Of course," you said, walking around lazily, looking at the various frames in his office but finding no picture of you or your family, rather finding an abundance of your brother's, who practically worked at his beck-and-call. You looked at him one last time, hoping to find a parent in his face but really, it was devoid of such responsibility and feelings, "I'll be off then. Do try to relax more, will you?"
"When you start coming to the office more," your father looked up at you, "and start acting responsibly is when I'll finally be able to breathe."
"Right," you said, waving casually as you walked out, shaking your head at the lies that fell so easily out of his mouth.
You were just stepping out of the elevator at the ground floor when you ran into the person you least wanted to see, and you groaned out loud, "My day is already ruined."
"Good to see you too," Dohyun scanned you, "Your leg seems worse."
"It sensed you all the way from up there," you ran your finger dramatically up the path of the elevator, "And look- now I can't even stand."
Dohyun scoffed, "Leaving already? Without working? No wonder dad loves you so much."
"If he loved you so much," you neared him, "He'd have already made you the heir. But here we are."
His jaw visibly clenched at that- you'd hit his weak point. You didn't wait for a response, your limp better as you walked outside, frowning when the bright sun hit your eyes, taking your sunglasses out of your dress pant's pocket and sliding them on, motioning your hand for a taxi and getting in, asking to be drove to your favourite cafe, ditching your parked car and driver.
You spent the day drinking your favourite coffee with your favourite dessert, walking in the park- something you didn't normally do, listening to your favourite songs and having food from your favourite place, playing cards with a random group of kids at the riverside, laughing to your fullest for the first time in a while- stopping when you realized it was going to be the last. Finally, you went to your best friend's grave, putting down a single daisy- her favourite.
"Dajeong," your voice came out choked, and you looked up at the cloudy sky, "you miss me, right?"
The wind blew the stray hair that escaped your now tied hair, and you tucked them behind as a tear escaped your eyes, "Do you miss me? Do you want me to come join you? Or do you hate me for what happened?"
Silence answered you- and you decided that was enough. "Don't kill me when I come to see you, will you?"
You wiped your eyes, your limp getting worse as you dragged yourself to the bridge afterwards, the sun about to set, and you found the sunset to be beautiful and a bit sinister, especially with the way it was casting light on the river.
You'd jump off the bridge. But... you were going to die in style.
You struggled as you sat at the flat railing of the bridge, the few passersby giving you confused looks. You picked your cane and held it for support, standing up bare-feet now, breathing in the air as you faced the sun- you felt free.
"Fuck everyone," you said out loud, laughing a bit, "Here I come, Dajeong."
You started swaying your hips a bit- Dajeong loved dancing. Using your cane as a prop, you awkwardly danced a bit, pulling your hair tie out and letting them loose, laughing a bit, turning to see if you had an audience, but there was no one near. You shut your eyes, spreading your arms wide and laughing out loud.
"People could get the wrong idea," a voice sounded.
Your laugh died abruptly, "Maybe they're thinking right," you turned to the source, sucking in your breath when you saw probably the most beautiful boy you'd ever seen in your life. His pale hair was messy, and his features made you wonder whether god really did choose favourites- he was sculpted so well.
"Maybe you're wrong then," he tilted his head, hands in his pockets as he scanned you, "And don't smirk like that- it's making me nervous."
"Gosh, what a sight to see before I end my life," you muttered, "Look, pretty boy, if you're done, maybe you should go home now. Leave this crazy woman to whatever she's doing, no?"
He raised his brows at the way you addressed him, "Does your life mean so little to you?"
"Actually, it does," you nodded in confirmation, "I have no purpose. No one cares, no one wants me. I am a burden. And I don't know why I even told you all this, I just- leave me alone. Go on. Let me die in style without someone bothering me."
His light eyes shone, "Can't. And if you really didn't have a purpose, I wouldn't be here right now?"
"What do you mean?"
"Think about it- you were about to jump off, but you got interrupted. That clearly means now's not the time, dear."
"Who are you calling dear- ah!"
You were falling.
You'd raised your cane to point at him but ended up losing your balance and falling off, a scream of surprise leaving your mouth as you fell, and you wondered why dramas would make this moment slow because you couldn't process anything as you fell- you only saw the sky getting distant and the sound of the river nearing, fear gripping your heart and you shut your eyes instinctively.
All your breath was knocked out of you and you thought you'd hit the surface of the river, but then you were bent inwards as arms wrapped around you and you clenched your eyes shut before realizing you still hadn't drowned, opening your eyes-
You were flying.
"Holy-" you heard the loud flap of wings, turning to look at the source and your scream was soundless when you realized it was the same boy who'd been at the bridge. He rolled his eyes at you, especially when you wrapped your arms tightly around him as if you finally cared about living, landing you both at the edge of the river before drawing his wings back and you watched them disappear completely, his arms still around you.
"You have a purpose in life, believe it or not," he said, scanning your face and patting your cheek as if to comfort you who was out of breath, "it's why I saved you."
"What are you?" You managed to ask.
"What do you think?" He smiled, taking a step back, "You'll forget this anyway- I'm an angel, if you already didn't make the connection."
You were speechless, dumbfounded, and fell to the ground on your knees, feeling the absence of your cane. The boy- angel sat in front of you, holding your face, "Stay strong. You have a whole new life ahead of you- make most of it, will you?"
You scanned his face slowly, as if you could memorize it, looking away when his gaze felt too strong and laughing maniacally, making him surprised, "Great. I've gone mad now. I'll wake up and this would be a dream, right?"
"Well," he looked at you guiltily, "it is a dream. Now, I don't have all day-" he swiped a hand across your forehead, and everything went black.
-----------------
It was done.
Yeosang had just completed his last mission.
If he was expecting fireworks, a cheer from his friends or even his heart to feel excited, he felt nothing. That odd feeling from the morning hadn't gone away, and he was dreading the unknown more with every passing minute.
Yeosang entered the abandoned church that was used as a disguise, an angel like him entering would find himself in the headquarters situated somewhere in the sky and he awaited his judgement, smiling when he saw his boss, an old man (another disguise) approach him. Yeosang bowed dramatically.
"It's been what- a hundred and eighty-five years?" His boss wondered, "You're still as dramatic as day one."
"Good evening to you too, now can you please sign whatever paperwork there is so I can move on?" Yeosang yawned, "It's been a long day, and I'm getting anxious."
His boss eyed him - Yeosang was anxiously hopping in his place. He waved a hand in dismissal, pushing his glasses up his nose bridge as he fished out a document from thin air, looking at Yeosang apprehensively before sighing and signing it, making him sigh in relief.
However, that sigh died down when the document set itself on fire, making both the men gasp in surprise, each just as confused as the other.
"Tell me this is a prank, because if it is, it's a really, really bad prank."
"Why would I do that?" The old man took off his glasses, rushing to the cabinet and searching for a book, opening it and flipping through the pages until he stopped abruptly, Yeosang now standing beside him as he read.
"Either you caused irreparable damage- which you didn't, I can vouch for that," the man sighed, "Or you took a life- again, not you. Or- did you leave a trace?"
"What do you mean a trace?" Yeosang frowned.
"It means that somehow, somewhere on this planet, someone is aware or suspicious about your identity- about you being an angel. It could be anything, boy."
Yeosang stumbled back, sinking into the chair as he thought- he had never interacted with a person more than needed- whenever he saved a life, he always made sure their memory was wiped clean too, so how could he have possibly left a trace?
"It could be anyone..." Yeosang groaned loudly, pinching his nose bridge, "Fine, what do I need to do? No wonder I had a gut feeling like something bad was about to happen."
The man shut the book, pity evident on his face, "Eliminate the trace you left. It could only be some human you saved- but you have saved a lot. You'll have to narrow them down to the ones that are still alive- even then, there's a possibility they may have passed this secret to someone else. We do not even know what exactly is the trace you left."
Yeosang bit his lips nervously, "I'm doomed. If I have to spend another decade on this Earth, I'll take my own life."
"Now why would you do that?" The man shook his head, approaching Yeosang and patting his shoulders, "Stay positive. You could be done within weeks or even a few years. What's a few more years to you?"
Yeosang only shook his head, wondering just where it had all gone wrong.
Meanwhile you woke up in your bed, blinking a few times before turning and looking at the time- it was 8 pm. You never slept in the evenings-
And you had no memory of coming back here- you'd gone to the office, taken a taxi... and gone home? Why couldn't you recall?
Sighing, you got up, rubbing your eyes and ringing for Sierra who arrived with a cup of coffee, "I was just about to wake you up because you would have only disturbed me during the night if you'd slept now," she handed you the mug and you frowned.
"When did I come home?"
"I don't know- I was in the backyard while you were gone, so I didn't realize when you arrived," she started towards the door, "unusual time to take a nap for you."
"I know right," you sipped at your coffee, and when she was gone and shut the door, you got up and walked to the window, looking out at the dark sky. It suddenly reminded you of the dream you had-
You'd gone to Dajeong's grave too. But as much as you tried to recall why you had been crying (usually you avoided crying at her grave), you couldn't recall anything you'd said, and you found a sinking feeling in your heart.
Feeling chilly, you set the now empty mug on the table and put your hands in your pocket, shrieking in pain when you felt something cut your fingers-
You abruptly drew your right hand out, a small cut much like a papercut running down your index finger, blood oozing out from it. You frowned as you carefully put your hand back in your pocket, feeling something unbelievably soft but shrieking again when you got another cut, muttering 'fuck it' and pulling it out-
It was a feather.
But it was no ordinary feather- it was almost shimmering and appeared to be translucent. Dazed, you ran your fingers along the feather, finding it unbelievably soft, but as soon as you ran your finger down, it cut you again, and you stared at your bloody hand.
What the hell was this thing? It was too big to be a bird feather, and too intricate to be man made.
You frowned as a memory tugged at you, but you really couldn't recall- however, one thing you were sure of now. The absence of your memory and this feather were linked. You put the feather on your shelf, but then decided against it, putting it in the drawer next to your bed, locking it, staring into the distance as you tried to sort your thoughts out.
As you shut your eyes and lay down, for a split second you saw wings- like an angel's, long and broad. But you dismissed it, getting up and walking to your mirror.
You needed to drink.
-------------------
Your favourite part about drinking was how it would always make you so confident that you'd fold your cane and put it in your bag, not requiring it anymore. You could pass by as someone 'normal'. Even though your therapist had repeatedly forbidden you from drinking because of this reason, you didn't care.
You straightened your black blouse and skirt, your feet warm in long boots but your bare knees and thighs chilly. Ignoring the chill, you entered the bar, flipping your hair backwards as you made your way to the counter, sitting on a stool and ordering a drink, looking around at the people dancing or chatting.
You were always alone at bars.
But you'd always manage to attract someone's attention- you didn't hate that. It was amusing how they made an effort to get you to talk or loosen up, but as soon as you'd fish out your cane, they'd rush away with an excuse. No one wanted to be with someone who couldn't even walk properly, no matter how beautiful or attractive they looked, apparently.
You wiped at the red lipstick stain left at your glass absently when you felt someone slide into the seat next to you, muttering a hi, and you spared a glance at the lanky person next to you.
"Long night, eh?" He said, and you nodded, wondering if he was just initiating small talk or his intentions were... the same as so many others you'd encountered.
"You from around here?" He asked, and you nodded again, downing your drink. You really weren't in a mood to talk to anyone right now.
"Can you pretend I'm not here and just... drink? I want to be left alone with my thoughts."
He frowned at that, shrugging, "I can do that, but if you wanna talk about it..."
You muttered a thanks, sighing as he filled your glass and you downed it in one go. This could go on forever, so you pretended to check your phone when really you had nothing going on.
About an hour later, feeling lightheaded and confident enough to ditch your cane because of your now unnoticeable limp, you walked around the dance floor, swaying a bit, closing your eyes shut, losing yourself in the fleeting moments of when you felt free. You couldn't remember when you last felt so free-
An image flashed in your mind for a split second- you with your arms spread as you stood somewhere high, right at the edge.
You had to stop and open your eyes- it felt suffocating as you tried to recall the memory, forgetting it right after you'd seen the flash. Your breathing got irregular- no matter how much you tried to recall, it was no use. You made your way outside, almost running, laughing maniacally and bumping into someone-
"Sorry, pretty boy," you grinned at him as you continued running, forgetting why you were outside in the first place-
Leaving the 'pretty boy' Yeosang, the angel, with his mouth hanging open because he had recognized you, and he couldn't believe how different you looked and the coincidence- it was uncanny, with you both bumping into each other right after his mission- which was a one in a million chance in the first place- and then you calling him by the same term 'pretty boy'. Yeosang had to gulp as he came back to his senses, watching you stop at a distance and finally take out your cane as you walked for your car.
Though Yeosang was pleasantly surprised, he decided to shake this little encounter off as that one in a million chance.
He didn't mean to, but he found his eyes searching for you a few days later when you made your way to the same bridge you'd try to jump from- one that you crossed everyday on your way to the office.
Yeosang internally slapped himself- what was he doing wasting time trying to spot you in the populous crowd? He should be trying to find out about the trace he'd left.
He had tried. He'd gone through the archives of the past decade, narrowing down the list of humans he had saved to those who were still alive, and he'd paid a visit to quite a few of them. He told himself that the reason he found himself looking for you was because you were also one of his missions, one he had to now investigate, but he was lost. He had no idea how he'd know to find the trace. He had no idea what the trace was.
But he found himself following you unintentionally, watching you leave for the office looking like the girl that had needed saving, going to your friend's grave like the girl who needed to heal, and then going to party like the girl who needed nothing of that, who was strong enough to control the limp in her leg instead of it controlling her. And Yeosang was... intrigued. No human had caught his attention in nearly two centuries like you had.
Yeosang found himself in the same park as you that night, glamoured to be invisible as he watched you walk, noticing your limp wasn't bad at all right now but you still used the cane as a psychological support. He wondered if you were somehow the one he was looking for- you'd only met him a handful of days ago, and he'd watched you since. You hadn't done anything to raise his suspicions. It couldn't be you.
Then why was he here?
Yeosang laughed ironically as it started to rain, watching you curse out loud as you sat on the bench, deciding to get soaked just for the heck of it because stupid you had forgot to bring your umbrella. Yeosang decided he was here for a purpose. He fished out a single umbrella out of thin air.
You were just cursing yourself internally when you heard a voice say 'here', looking upwards first at the umbrella that now stopped the trickle of rain and then tracing the hand to the source-
He looked very familiar for some reason.
You sat speechless as you stared at him and he scoffed, "Only till the rain stops, unless you wanna go ahead and get soaked."
"No, thank you," you said, looking away, your brows furrowing in confusion and then you realized, turning your head sharply back at him, scanning his face-
"We've met before, haven't we?"
Yeosang almost dropped his umbrella in surprise before you continued, "You're that pretty boy I bumped into that day, aren't you?"
Yeosang gave you a side-eye, "You remember that?"
You raised a brow as you smirked, "I couldn't forget such a pretty face now, could I?"
"Are you... flirting with me right now?"
You laughed at his narrowed eyes, "I don't know, am I?"
Yeosang scanned you in confusion- he'd seen you flirt-interact with strangers in the bars you'd go to, always leaving them stranded or disappointed on purpose, sometimes by ditching them or sometimes by revealing your limp, but he hadn't expected you to do the same to him.
"You live around here?" You asked casually, and he shrugged.
"I guess you could say that," he shrugged, "What are you doing here in the middle of the night?"
"What are you doing here in the middle of the night?" You asked, folding your arms, and the two of you stared at each other, none of the other breaking.
"I asked first."
"Do I look like I care about that?"
"I was just... walking."
"Cool," you said, "I was just jogging. Nothing unusual, huh?"
"Nothing," Yeosang smiled despite himself, drawing the umbrella back, "Rain's over."
"Well," you got up, brushing your sweatpants, drawing your cane out, "Hope I see you again, pretty boy."
With that, you were off, and Yeosang wondered if interacting with you, a human he had saved, was right. Angels normally kept interactions with humans to the bare minimum, and he couldn't reveal his identity to you, ever. He shouldn't even be mixing with you- he really didn't want to mess up his situation more than it already was.
Which made him wonder why he was crossing paths with you so often. Could you be the person he was looking for? Though he racked his brain over the events of the evening that he'd save you, he couldn't understand how it could have happened.
Yeosang got up, taking out the list of the people he still had to investigate. He should not be wasting time.
-------------------
You spent the next few days researching the feather, even when you'd told yourself not to think about it.
You couldn't help it- you were drawn to it, to put it simply. It's not like you were obsessed or anything, right? It's not like you were staring at it for the most part of the night and caressing it trying to avoid the cuts, right?
You were.
Sierra was not happy with the amount of band-aids on your fingers.
"It's like you're that annoying teenager I had to take care of again," she said one day, examining your hand, "remember when you used to be wild? No one could get to you."
"Well," you took your hand from her, "someone did. That annoying teenager died on the hill."
Sierra looked at you with her hands on her hips, "Not sure about the annoying part."
You stifled your smile at that, giving her a side eye as you slumped in the chair in front of the window, "Any update on that?"
"None yet," Sierra sighed, standing beside you, "You really, really think it was Dohyun?"
"If not him, then who?" You asked, "Who would have a good reason to kill me at that point of my life? It's not like our company was too big back then- you'd take potential rivals as possible suspects."
"True," Sierra said, "it's more suspicious because the company hit the jackpot right after that incident. Think they're related?"
"I'm not so sure about that," you leaned forward, "it's the only loophole about the whole thing."
Sierra nodded and left, saying she needed to catch up with some work and you got up, deciding to go for a walk, changing into a casual outfit of jeans and a black pea-coat over a plain white shirt. Tying your hair messily, you put your cane in your bag and told your driver to stay put. You didn't need a shadow- not today.
Not when you intended to actually party and forget about all the things that were messing you up- family politics, your leg, the feather-
And that boy you'd met the other day.
Truth be told, you had quite a few strange dreams about the same event already- you falling from a height, rescued by someone with wings, the feather of which very similar to the one you now possessed-
That someone who looked too much like that boy you'd met- unless it was your mind playing tricks.
And it was your mind playing tricks, what else? There was no way it was that boy, or anyone, for that matter. And you'd believe yourself if you'd stop thinking about the missing piece of your memory and the cuts that feather had given you.
You went inside the bar, making a stop at the toilet where you took out your makeup and applied some- if you'd gone out with makeup, there was no way your driver would have bought your excuse of 'going for a long walk'. Putting on some lipstick and mascara, you smacked your lips loudly, smiling at your reflection, unbuttoning the top two buttons of your shirt. You'd fit right in now.
All it took you was two drinks to muster the courage to get to the dance floor. You swayed along to the music first, glancing around to check if one of your father's goons was here, or worse, your step-brother's. Finding none, you relaxed, smiling at the man who clearly wanted to get laid approaching you, scanning you ever so slowly.
"So," he tried to strike up some conversation, "wanna dance with me?"
"Aren't we already?" You commented on how close he already was.
He smirked, taking that as a sign to get closer and you allowed that. As long as you were dancing, it was fine.
But then he bought you more drinks during that break you took, and led you to the dance floor again, this time his hands on your hips. You didn't miss the suggestive look in his eyes, but you did miss his hand travelling down your hip-
As you saw an all too familiar face exit the bar.
"Wanna come home with me tonight?"
You grimaced at how drunk he sounded, pushing him off of you, "I have to go home. Find another girl to dance with, will you?"
"Oh come on, we were just starting to have fun!" He protested but you just waved him off, securing your bag and putting a hand on the slightly open corner in case you'd need your cane, practically rushing out of the bar.
The cold air hit you hard as you exited the bar, making you feel a bit more awake as you looked around, finding the roads nearly empty. Were you drunk? Maybe you had just conjured his image. Sighing, you started in the direction of your home, taking a deep breath-
"Hey!"
You turned around, rolling your eyes when the man from the bar approached you, "We're done, go home!"
"Not so easily," he smirked, slowing down when he approached you, a seductive look in his eyes as he put a hand on your waist and the other to your face, which you slapped away before he could touch you, making him laugh sarcastically, "You can't just leave me stranded."
"I can," you glared at him, taking out your cane and unfolding it with a swipe, hitting his lower leg strongly enough to make him grimace away, "and I will. I owe you nothing."
With that, you went back to walking, a surprised scream leaving you when he pushed you, making you nearly lose your footing and you turned back to hit him again, because how dare he?
Instead, you found him pinned to the wall-
It was that boy.
He was holding his collar, glaring at him, "She's clearly not into you, so why don't you rush home?"
"Leave me the fuck alone-" The man tried punching him but he had him pinned against the wall, muttering something in his ear that had him scrambling off, while you stood with your mouth hanging in surprise.
"What the hell did you say to him?"
"You don't need to know that," he looked at you once as if to make sure you were okay as he brushed his clothes, turning around to go.
"Where are you going?" You asked before you could think, cursing yourself internally. He turned around, raising a brow at you.
"Don't you have somewhere to be?" He asked, but he knew you weren't going to let him off so easily as you casually joined him as you walked.
"So, pretty boy," you grinned at him, "Got a name?"
He rolled his eyes, telling you his name- Yeosang- and you told him yours, "You've practically been everywhere these past few days, you know? But I don't think I've seen you before. Did you move to this area recently? Or here for a job?"
"Something like that," Yeosang muttered, hands in his pockets as he walked.
"Are you my guardian angel?" You wiggled your brows, "Though I must say, it's a little late for that."
Yeosang almost tripped on his feet, realizing later that you were only joking and referring to the incident that had just happened, not one which you'd forgotten, "I don't think a devil like you needs a guardian angel," Yeosang muttered, making you raise a brow.
"Devil like me? Please, I'm a saint."
Yeosang pretended to throw up at that, making you slap his arm, "How old are you again? Stop acting like a kid."
"How old are you?" You narrowed your eyes at him- he looked young enough to pass as a teenager, but mature enough to be-
"Definitely older than you," he laughed, and he wanted to tell you he was only a few centuries older than you.
You smiled at that. He had an incredibly pretty laugh too- everything about him screamed elegant. And something about him threw you off your element- which was weird, because was he making you shy? Why couldn't you muster up a smart retort anymore?
Yeosang noticed you staring at him as you walked, and he raised a brow at you, finally knocking you back into your senses. You were glad you didn't flush, because the last thing you needed was to give him that satisfaction. "Can you buy me a water bottle? We're like 10 steps away from the store."
"Sure," Yeosang said, and you waited outside, watching him walk (how could he walk like that?) and run a hand through his hair- gosh, everything about him screamed perfection.
As he came out and handed you the bottle, you thanked him, drinking a few gulps and looking at him again. "Thank you for earlier. I could have handled that, but... thank you anyway."
"Be careful next time," Yeosang said, and you rolled your eyes as you nodded, making him smile. He waved at you, taking off and you watched him go.
"Hey!" You called and he turned, his brows raised in question.
"Will I see you again?"
Yeosang scanned you, standing as if you were about to take a step towards him, your face flush.
"Maybe," he smiled, waving once again before leaving.
That night when you reached home, you took the feather out, a slow grin spreading over your face as you recalled the strange recurring dream that could very well be a memory. Sure, you had other things to do. You had to start going to the office at least thrice a week, but-
You had to test this theory. You had nothing to lose anymore anyway, and if you were wrong about Yeosang being the person from your dreams, it could end there. You'd move on, put that missing piece of memory in the box of unsolved mysteries, where you'd put the memory of your friend's accident too. Something you'd rather not open again after finally getting better.
-----------------
Yeosang decided that it was simple curiosity that made him approach you at the bar three days later.
It had been days now that he'd been trying to find the trace, find any sort of leads, any clue, but somehow, at the end of the road, he'd always find (or see) you, whether he wanted to or not. What had started as simply spotting you by chance once had turned into a series now.
Maybe you were the person he'd been trying to find, was what he told himself. But if Yeosang was honest with himself, he was... intrigued. Something about you seemed different, and it wasn't because he was interacting with a human properly for the first time in quite a while. It certainly wasn't your devilish tendencies either. Something about your aura screamed different to him, and now that he'd stalked observed you for a while, he didn't know why he was in front of you, even when you seemed to not be the one who held the trace- whatever that damned trace was.
Yeosang nodded at himself as he decided that he had finally gone insane after waiting two centuries to move on and finding his path blocked because of a petty reason, which was why he slid so casually next to you, test the waters, and if he was lucky, you could turn out to be the one who held the trace all along.
What he didn't expect was the smirk plastered on your face as you turned to him and scanned him.
You couldn't hold it in, the grin, as you said, "Here to drink down your sorrows?"
"You could say that," Yeosang sighed, taking a little sip from his drink, "What about you? Here to break another heart?"
"Me? Nope, I'm trying to be a good girl now," you smiled, clicking glasses with him as he noticed your still bandaged fingers- now with some cartoon band-aids. He narrowed his eyes at you.
"Is the world finally ending?" Yeosang wondered out loud.
"You'd know better about that, wouldn't you?" You raised a brow, smirking at the obvious confusion on his face as he tried to read behind that statement. You decided to continue, "I don't intend to break hearts, you should know. Aren't humans so... weak? You give them some of your time and attention and they think they have your heart. Can't help but break it then."
"You're right," Yeosang sighed, "Humans really are weak."
"Right," you played with your glass, "Which makes me think if I'll ever be able to not break a heart. If there will be someone who would break my heart instead."
"And why would you want that?" Yeosang was curious.
"That ought to put me in my place, right?" You locked eyes with him, "Who am I to go around breaking hearts?"
"That's... true," Yeosang admitted, the two of you sharing a laugh.
"You know," you leaned towards him, "Sometimes I think I know you. Like I've seen you more times than I remember."
"Ah," Yeosang could play this game, and he leaned forward, "Probably been dreaming about me?"
However, he realized with dread that he was right as your eyes flashed, and you grinned shamelessly. "Now how would you know that, Kang Yeosang?"
The way Yeosang's ears went red had you grinning widely, and you patted his arm, "You can't play this game with me, Yeosang. I always win."
"You know what," Yeosang took your hand, putting it away, "I think I'd take that as a challenge."
You looked at him from underneath your curled lashes, and Yeosang felt his heart sink, because you were pretty. It wasn't your physical appearance that made you so, it was the way you acted and carried yourself. It was the confidence with which you grinned, shaking your head, as you said, "Challenge accepted."
Yeosang took a deep breath, sighing at how stupid humans could be sometimes, but he had to give you credit for having the guts to do that. And he had to slap himself internally because oh, he was treading on dangerous lines. So he smiled at you, filling your glass as the two of you clicked and downed your drinks.
After an hour of aimless and random conversation, Yeosang decided to take you home. "You're far too drunk to walk now."
"If you want me to take you home, you could just say so," you winked at him.
Yeosang rolled his eyes, "If you want me to take you home that desperately, you could have just said so too."
You threw your head back as you laughed, the sound of it music to his ears. "Fine, ugh. You can walk me home. Outside my door, okay?"
"Of course," Yeosang put a hand on the small of your back as he led you out, "Though, if you want, I could take maybe one or two small steps inside."
You slapped his arm, "You're getting better at this."
"You have no idea," Yeosang grinned, and you linked your arm with him as the two of you walked home.
"Where do you live anyway?"
"In the skies," Yeosang sighed, and you rolled your eyes.
"Sure, I may have called you an angel earlier, but that doesn't mean you can take it serious."
"But I am an angel," Yeosang looked at you, and you nodded.
"Sure you are," you began to laugh, making Yeosang confused as he took a step away from you, "An angel, from the skies. You must have wings too, eh?"
Yeosang was smiling in confusion as he tried to figure you out- just what was it that made you so damn cocky, as if you knew everything about him? He watched as you threw your head back and laughed silently, your bandaged fingers in your hair as you finally looked at him, "Tell me, angel who walks with mere humans like me, what do your wings look like?"
Yeosang couldn't tell if you were joking or not. He sighed, nudging you forward to the direction of your house, "Shut up, you're drunk."
"Sure I am," you said, stopping abruptly. You had one chance to find everything out, and you had to corner him somehow. He had to say it. You started taking off your band-aids, the cuts still looking as fresh as day one. "Tell me, does it look familiar, these cuts?"
"They certainly look recent, but..." Yeosang frowned- weren't they old? From a few days ago?
You gaped at his obliviousness- did he not know, or was he pretending to? You were growing impatient now, so you huffed loudly, taking out your cane- you couldn't walk without it now. Yeosang pursed his lips as the two of you walked in silence, finally reaching your house.
"Thanks for walking me home," you turned to him, scanning him, "you should go and do your angel duties now or something."
"When are you gonna stop teasing me about it?" Yeosang laughed.
"When you finally admit that you're the one who saved me that day on the bridge, pretty boy."
All the colour left Yeosang's face.
"You," Yeosang scoffed- he couldn't believe it. It had been you all along, "How do you remember? You shouldn't be able to."
"So it was you," you put a hand over your mouth in disbelief, "Why the hell did you save me? You should have left me to die."
"It's not like I wanted to," he practically sneered, "It was my last mission. Just a job. And I erased your memory- you shouldn't have been able to remember."
"Well, seems like you've grown rusty at that," you scoffed, "Last mission? What are you talking about?"
"Nothing you need to know," Yeosang took a step towards you but you stopped him, pointing your cane at him, making him look at the skies as if for help.
"Don't you dare come near me- and don't try to wipe my memory again. I have backup."
"You annoying little-" Yeosang lunged his arm at you like a cat's, making you laugh a bit as he muttered curses.
"Tell me, angel boy, are you allowed to curse?"
"At humans like you? Definitely."
You lowered your cane as you laughed at that, making him laugh a bit too- he really hadn't expected the situation to turn like that. "You wanna come inside and talk over a cup of coffee? Because my head's killing me right now."
Yeosang took the offer, the two of you entering your house, Sierra gaping dramatically at the 'devastatingly handsome boy' you'd brought home, and you assured her it was nothing like that, taking your coffee to the balcony, having a glaring competition as the two of you sipped on your drink, none of you saying anything.
"So," you broke the silence, "Is there a reason you've been everywhere these past few weeks? And don't give me that angel mission bullshit- you had one job and you didn't do it properly, clearly."
"I'm two centuries old, kid, and you're the only person who's managed to find a loophole- however you did. And right now my only concern is what's different about you- why your memories came back. You were my last mission- I've saved countless lives before, and you messed up everything for me."
You pursed your lips guiltily, then shook your head to bring yourself back into your senses- why do you have to feel guilty? You'd finally mustered up the courage to end your life and he just had to save you and bring you back to this miserable world. "You messed up everything for me too, believe it or not, so we're even. As for the matter about my memories coming back... what does that have to do with your last mission and whatever?"
Yeosang sighed, slumping back as he looked at the full moon, "I was supposed to move on to the afterlife after this mission, but I can't now, because I left a trace."
"A trace?"
"Humans shouldn't know about the existence of angels under any circumstances," he looked at you pointedly, "I can't move on until I get rid of the trace I've left. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to find out the thing I've been running after for two centuries was snatched out of my hands because of a damned trace? I had no idea what to do- it could have been anything, but turns out... it's you and your exceptional memory."
"Well," you shrugged, "Not my fault, is it? There must be a reason I recalled my failure."
Yeosang raised a brow at your choice of words, "Humans. Ever so ungrateful. Well, I really have no idea why you're able to recall what I deleted from your mind. I'll have to look into that."
You didn't miss how distraught he looked, "I'm sorry about this whole thing though. Because of me..."
Yeosang shook his head, "It's really not your fault. But you know that I have to erase your memory to be able to pass on. And let's suppose I did get rusty back then and messed up. I should try again, don't you think?"
"Now?" You asked, and Yeosang nodded.
You stared at your empty mug that you still held in your hands. Were you going to forget about him and everything related to him again? You looked at him- apparently an angel. He leaned forward, taking your mug from your hands and placing it on the table, then taking your hands, examining the cuts. "You must have got these when I saved you. I may have missed it then. This is probably why you're able to remember."
With that, he ran his thumb over each scar, healing it in process, making you gasp- this really was happening. He really wasn't human. He looked up at you, "I'll give you a few moments to breathe. Then let me erase your memories of me."
You gulped, taking in his features now that he was so close to you, your heart beating fast because your hands were still in his, "Do you have to?"
Yeosang internally sighed at how your voice came out as a whisper. You had this effect on him that he didn't understand and was too afraid to try to. He smiled at you, tucking your hair behind, running the back of his fingers down your face, "It was fun while it lasted, wasn't it?"
You smiled- shyly- looking down, making Yeosang smile wider because you had the ability to get shy after all. You finally looked at him, "Okay. If that's what you really want. I shouldn't keep you from passing on to the afterlife- that sounds... wrong."
Yeosang laughed, "Afterlife is as much of an abstract concept for me as it is for you."
"Then why are you so desperate to go on?" You frowned.
"I guess I have nothing left here," Yeosang sighed, "I'm done with my missions. I have nothing more to do."
"You could always try finding love and settling for a while on Earth, but I guess your kind probably detests humans and thinks they're lesser beings?"
"Now why would I ever fall for a human? You know what humans are like."
You nodded slowly- he had a point. "Well, go ahead. Enjoy your afterlife- it's gonna be very boring without me there, you're gonna miss me."
"Definitely," Yeosang scoffed, taking one hand away from you and putting it on your forehead, "Listen... don't give up on your life. Whatever it is that's weighing you down, don't let it get to you so much. You're strong enough to get through it."
"Gee, thanks," you rolled your eyes, "I'll try."
"Also, what's the backup you were talking about?"
"The backup?" You frowned, realizing what he meant a second later, "Oh, the memory backup? I have none, I lied."
Yeosang shook his head at you, tapping your cheek as if lightly slapping you and you made a face at him, "Well, it was... nice? interacting with you. You're definitely better than other humans- less boring, if I have to say."
"That definitely makes me feel better," you scoffed, and Yeosang locked eyes with you as he put his hand back on your forehead.
"You're gonna wake up and not remember a single thing about me. Goodbye."
-----------------
You had the strangest dream.
You woke up to the sun shining brightly making you shift your back to the window as you tried to recall the fuzzy memory.
You couldn't.
Annoyed that it was one of those dreams that felt good but you couldn't recall, you got up and took a shower, sitting in front of the mirror as you did your morning routine, drying your hair, humming.
Sierra knocked and entered, muttering good morning and going to your closet to pick some clothes for you, "Your father is going to have a meeting with you and Dohyun. You should… act wisely today."
"When do I not?" You rolled your eyes as she left, dressing in the navy blue suit she'd left out for you. Finishing your makeup and wearing light accessories with a watch, you took your cane- you'd definitely be needing it today. You could already feel that it was going to be one of those days.
As you sat in your car on the way to the office, you tried to recall the events of last night- you’d gone out for a drink, and then…
Then what?
You frowned- you were still worried about the absence of your memory from a few days ago and now you had another piece you couldn’t recall? You were never the one to get so drunk that you couldn’t recall the events of that time. Then what was the reason? Should you be visiting the doctor?
You reached the office, taking the elevator up to your dad’s floor and making your way inside, finding the old man reading the newspaper, greeting you with ‘good morning’, and you took the sofa seat in front of him.
“That son of yours never arrives on time,” you commented as you took your own newspaper.
“You’re rather early today,” your dad looked at you pointedly.
“Well, I had a few things to discuss with you,” you put one leg over the other, “I think we can both agree that I have been doing a better job than Dohyun ever since I came back.”
Your dad said nothing as he continued to stare at you, and you took that as a cue to continue, “I am your legitimate heir- not that that matters anymore. If Dohyun had been doing a good job, I would have gladly kept my position as COO. But… I really don’t think Dohyun is suitable as CEO now that you’re thinking of actually stepping down.”
“And you think you’re up for it?” Your dad’s brow was raised and you noticed the glint of hope in his eyes.
“You have to stay for a good few years here, dad,” you smirked, “you’re still far from retirement. We can keep working and take the load off your shoulders, but I suggest you stay till the last possible day. As long as you can manage.”
“What makes you think so? I am genuinely curious.”
“Dohyun… you have to have known that he only cares about his ‘title’ position, don’t you?” You raised a brow and your dad slumped back, not answering, “The minute you name him CEO, he’s going to make sure you’re out of the picture. Literally everyone in here knows that, dad.”
Your dad was looking outside the window as he sighed, “That’s what happens when you have kids and you promise them what you worked on all your life.”
“Yeah, but I think it’s unfair that Dohyun thinks like that. Because if it was me…” you were playing on dangerous waters now, “I wouldn’t want you to step down until you’re sick of working, to be honest. This company is our family legacy, dad. We don’t want to put it in the hands of someone who only cares about making money through whatever means possible, and we don’t want our reputation ruined.”
Your dad nodded slowly- you knew you’d gotten to him. The door opened, Dohyun entering with a little greeting and you looked at your father. “Do think about what I said. No rush.”
“Think about what?” Dohyun asked as he sat.
“Just this and that,” you said casually, “Coming from a meeting? Or did you sleep in?”
“I was busy,” Dohyun said.
“The sleep in your eyes says otherwise,” you pointed at him and he only made a face, your dad clearing his throat as he started to discuss business with you two.
--------------------
It was two days later when you opened your box of albums that you saw that strange feather again.
You were going through a photo album of your high school years with a faint smile on your face, suddenly missing Dajeong and wanting to see more of her photos when you took out the box from your cupboard, going through albums until you came to the last picture of you, the feather tucked behind the photo.
You took it out- so strange yet so familiar- and you shifted it in the light- it seems to be reflecting some. You frowned as a sharp pain went across your head, caressing the feather absently. Where did this thing come from?
All it took was one cut from the feather for the memories to come rushing back, for Yeosang’s face to be imprinted back in your mind, your interactions coming like a flood and it took you a good few minutes to recall everything and sort the memories, gasping when you recalled the last conversation you had with him.
You had lied.
And you felt really, really bad. And a bit scared too.
He would probably come back for you. He’d somehow find out that he still can’t move on, thanks to you, and then he’d come for you, and you had no idea what he’d do now. Sure, he was an angel, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t do something to you.
You put the feather back, going back to your bed and pulling the covers over you as if you were hiding. That feeling in your heart that something was missing was now gone and replaced with an unexplainable fear and dread.
You couldn’t sleep that night.
Or the next.
It was finally when you went to the same bridge that you stifled your gasp when you saw Yeosang sitting on the same spot that you’d stood that day to jump off the bridge. A number of questions ran in your head, but the most important of them was why he was still here and hadn’t come for you.
You mustered your courage, the pain in your leg shooting out of nervousness as you struggled to walk to him without your cane, stopping a few feet away. He still hadn’t noticed you, and you took that time to admire his immensely beautiful side profile and how his hair glowed in the sun.
As if he had finally sensed you, he looked at you, his mouth opening in surprise and you shook your head at him as you smiled. “People could get the wrong idea.”
Yeosang laughed in disbelief, shaking his head back at you, “You… What are you? You keep finding me!”
“You keep finding me!” You countered as you stood next to him, “I was on my way, thank you. This was merely a coincidence, let’s not forget the number of times you’ve stalked me.”
“I did not stalk you. When it’s for a mission, it’s not stalking.”
“Whatever you say, pretty boy,” you muttered, and he laughed.
“How do you remember everything though? This is crazy- no one has ever gotten their memory back.”
“More importantly, why haven’t you moved on to the afterlife? Do you have any idea how scared I was that you’d come after me when you’d find that the trace or whatever still hadn’t worked?”
“You were scared?” Yeosang was smirking.
You rolled your eyes, “Why are you still on earth, angel?”
Yeosang sighed. “I… I didn’t report back. I was still figuring stuff out.”
You looked at him, “Stuff like?”
“Like how I really haven’t lived. Ever since I came into being, I’ve been working as a servant of god, carrying out missions, following that concept of afterlife like it was the light at the end of this long, dark tunnel. And now that I am at the end and ready to step into the light… I think I’m not ready.”
He saw the worry and confusion in your eyes and smiled a little at that, “And then there’s this matter of how even if I was ready, I wouldn’t have been able to move on because somehow, you’re not human enough.”
“What are you implying?” You were thoroughly offended.
“Nothing,” Yeosang laughed out loud, “How did your memory come back?”
“I actually forgot everything, but then I-”
You paused. Did you really want to tell him about the feather- the reason he wasn’t able to move on?
“I don’t like the look on your face right now,” Yeosang was starting to dread what was to come out of your mouth-
“Listen,” you sat up next to him, turning so that both your legs were dangling off, the river dark underneath you two, “You still are an angel, right? A few more days, or let’s say, months, won’t do you any harm, no?”
“Technically, no,” Yeosang urged you to continue.
“I have the trace- I know what’s gonna keep you from moving on to the afterlife, but… you don’t want to move on right away anyway, right?” Yeosang nodded hesitantly and you continued, “So why don’t we forget about the trace for now, relax and… roll on?”
“Roll on?” Yeosang raised a brow, “What do you suggest?”
“Well, since you’ve given me such a headache these past few weeks,” you looked at him pointedly, “I could use your help to uncover some mysteries. In return… you can ask anything of me. A place to live, a friend to hang out with, whatever you want.”
“Interesting,” Yeosang nodded slowly, “And if I decline?”
“I’m not telling you about the trace.”
Yeosang narrowed his eyes at you, “You’re threatening me? Really? Forcing me into this?”
“Oh come on!” You groaned, “You’re an angel, you’ve never had fun, have you? Because if you think my company was the most fun you’ve had in your life, boy, are you missing out on some real fun!”
“You do know you just dissed yourself, didn’t you?”
“Not the point,” you raised a hand, “What matters is that you need to loosen up. Chill! Have some fun, Yeosang. Live like a human for some time, mingle with people, just… live. And maybe help me when you feel like it. And when you’ve had fun… when you really want to move on, I’ll willingly tell you about the trace. You can move on.”
Yeosang took a deep breath, never breaking eye contact, “Why are you offering me this?”
“You remind me of someone,” you smiled, “She wasn’t as annoying as you though, mind you.”
Somehow Yeosang knew that you weren't lying. The emotions in your eyes as you recalled the 'someone' were the most genuine emotions he'd seen in your eyes so far, and that made him trust you a little. "Okay, let's say I agree. I live like a human or whatever, see what it's like- what if something happens to you, something that I'm not supposed to prevent? My trace might get lost."
"I'll arrange for that," you assured him, "though it hurts to think you won't prevent anything bad happening to me in the future."
"I shouldn't even be doing this," Yeosang motioned between you two, "angels aren't supposed to interfere in human's lives. Angels aren't allowed to change the course of someone's life, which is why I'm still wondering if I should just move on."
"But here you are interacting with a human who knows about you," you said, "is that alright? Hasn't my course of life changed already?"
Yeosang leaned forward until he was face to face in front of you, "Not if you forget everything forever."
You leaned forward as well, "I'd like to see you try again. You can't move on now, Yeosang, until I allow you to."
"Now let's make one thing clear," Yeosang tilted his head dangerously, his voice so low that it made you gulp, "If I wanted to, I could make you give me the trace right now. So don't think for a second that you have the upper hand here, alright?"
The way Yeosang's brown orbs turned nearly golden as if they were burning made your hands tremble and you had to clench the railing to stop it from showing. "Alright, alright, angel, I get that. You have the upper hand- I'll give you the trace whenever you want it. So let's pretend me not giving you the trace is what's keeping you from moving on and enjoy life on earth as a normal human, shall we?"
Yeosang grinned, his face changing in a second and it looked so innocent at that moment that you couldn't help it when your mouth fell in surprise. "I think we have a deal, human."
-----------------
"Shut up if you don't want to look suspicious."
"I don't know what to say to your housekeeper, she seems scary," Yeosang unconsciously tugged at you.
You slapped his hand lightly, "You could probably burn her with a gaze and you're scared of her? Way to go, angel."
Yeosang glared at you, and you turned to him, scanning him once- his white button-up shirt and black pants were both formal and casual enough to avoid suspicion for what you two were about to do. "Just… let me handle this. Don't say anything stupid, okay?"
"As if I would," Yeosang rolled his eyes and at that moment, Sierra entered the living room, stopping in her tracks when she saw Yeosang- since he had wiped her memory from the last encounter as well, she was practically meeting him for the first time, yet… her expressions were no different than when she had first seen him, and it made you scoff.
“Who is this young handsome guest of yours?” Sierra raised her brows at you.
“The new bodyguard who’ll be accompanying me when I don’t need one of dad’s goons to follow me, don’t worry, I’ll talk to father first thing tomorrow,” you assured her, and Sierra looked confused- you didn’t trust anyone, and for you to bring someone for the most important position…
“Can we talk?”
You nodded, following her in the kitchen, leaving Yeosang wandering around the living room. Sierra grabbed you by your arm, “You wanna tell me who he really is?”
“Exactly as I said. I don’t know him from before, but he can be trusted.”
“You don’t know him and he can be trusted? I don’t think so, miss.”
You knew Sierra was concerned about your safety- the incident with your friend was the first attempt at getting rid of you but not the last, though the rest of them had been subtle enough to pass as mere misfortune. “I think yes, Sierra.”
At that moment, Yeosang entered, touching Sierra’s cheek lightly which made her look dazed as Yeosang planted the seed of trust in her, and you watched in wonder as Sierra’s expressions changed, now much more relaxed. Yeosang looked at you and you shared a nod, giving Sierra a moment to gain her senses.
“How stupid of me, you must be parched. Coffee?” Sierra asked and Yeosang answered with a yes. Sierra shooed you two out to the living room and you turned to Yeosang, smiling.
“I guess this is what you call fate?” You raised a brow, “If this wasn’t supposed to happen, you would have burned… wouldn’t you?”
“True,” Yeosang looked confused, “It’s strange how everything that’s been happening is apparently supposed to be happening. I’ve heard about angels burning slowly, almost fading away, if they did something they weren’t supposed to.”
“You feel alright, don’t you?” You scanned him once, “No burning sensation or something like that?”
“Nothing,” Yeosang pursed his lips, “I don’t like where this is going.”
“You’re in for a ride, pretty boy,” you laughed.
Sierra served you both coffee, guiding Yeosang about his duties and telling him he could stay in one of the many empty rooms in your house- you and Sierra along with the rest of the staff were the only ones living here anyway. Yeosang thanked her, and the two of you went to the balcony. As you sat in front of him, you felt nostalgic- it was just like that day when he had taken your memories. It seemed like forever ago, like a distant memory.
“Do you even sleep?” You asked, genuinely curious.
“If I feel like it,” Yeosang answered, and you made an impressed face.
“That’s convenient,” you sighed.
“So,” Yeosang relaxed in his chair, “are you going to tell me what I’m actually doing here?”
You took a deep breath. “About five years ago, my best friend Dajeong died in an accident that was meant for me- a car crash on a road that was supposed to be empty. After that, I’ve had enough near death incidents to call that a mere accident. It was me who was supposed to die that day, but unfortunately… they got her.”
“I’d say something about how your friend’s fate was that, but you probably don’t wanna hear it,” Yeosang looked at your grim face and shook his head, urging you to continue, “Who’s ‘they’?”
“I have high suspicions that it’s my step-brother, because who else would want me dead? And he has an obvious motive- he’s the illegitimate heir to our business, so he probably thinks his position is in danger, and getting rid of me might be his answer.”
“Makes sense,” Yeosang nodded, “And where do I fall in?”
“You, dear angel,” you leaned forward, “will help me expose whoever is behind this. I don’t have a problem with dying- they’re sloppy at their job, if I have to say. I’m doing this for Dajeong.”
“Alright, I understand,” Yeosang nodded. He wanted to tell you that the past was the past, but he supposed humans found it hard to let go of such things, much like angels who liked holding on to grudges. “But I hope you can handle the truth when it comes out. And I hope you can live with it and move forward, because… whether you admit it or not, you’re stuck in one place and you’re not allowing yourself to move forward. I don’t like that.”
You took a deep breath as your jaw clenched and unclenched, looking at the dark night sky. “I’ll… try.”
Yeosang got up, patting your shoulder once as if to comfort you, then going without saying a word. You sighed, slumping in your chair as you felt the ache in your leg come back.
This was going to be a long journey.
—-------------------
“Yeosang, I can’t exactly work with you hovering over my head.”
“Yeah, it’s not like you’ve been glaring daggers at the screen. You’ve been working so hard,” Yeosang’s voice dripped with sarcasm and you bare your teeth at him.
It was two days later that you two were in the office, Yeosang dressed in all black, and you knew no one believed you when you said that he was your bodyguard- he looked far too… angelic and ethereal to pass as a mere bodyguard. You were chewing your pen as you stared at him. “Can’t you… I don’t know, appear less ethereal? More human?”
Yeosang turned towards you, surprised at the comment. He knew he drew attention everywhere he went, even in his human form- which only made him appear human as best as possible- but he hadn’t expected something like a compliment from you- even though it was backhanded. “Blinded by my visuals already?”
“As if,” you scoffed, “You’re too pretty to pass as a bodyguard. Should we have… made you my secretary too?”
“Never too late to add that in my resume,” Yeosang grinned, “Plus, I’ll die of boredom if I have nothing to do.”
“Well, I told you now is the time to go ahead and mingle with humans,” you said, “I’ll call you before I leave- do you even have a phone?”
Yeosang fished one out of the air, “Now I have. But… I don’t really know how to ‘mingle’.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, “You seemed perfectly fine approaching me.”
“You’re different,” he said, and the intensity with which he said that surprised you both, making you raise your brows as a demand for an explanation. Yeosang sighed, suddenly finding the outside view interesting as he continued, “Something about you makes it easier to talk… probably because you don’t treat me like a god, like any other human would if they found out that I was an angel.”
“Oh,” you shifted in your seat, “Ever happened before?”
“Yeah,” Yeosang pursed his lips, “A few years after I came into being. There was someone… she found out and it was not good. Thankfully a friend helped out and made her forget.”
Something about his tone made you wonder if she meant something to him, but you didn’t question that. “If you want, I could try worshipping you, but you know I’d suck at that big time. I only love myself.”
Yeosang smiled at that, then turned towards you, “You don’t love yourself. Don’t lie.”
“Oops,” you grinned, turning back to your work, your head still running the conversation you two had.
That evening, after a tour of the city, you took him for dinner at your favourite barbeque place, the familiar environment giving you a sense of comfort. Yeosang watched as you ate and sighed in relief, smiling at how you seemed like a totally different person when eating, nodding to himself as he concluded that at least you did justice to your food.
Your pointy gaze made him bow his head in shame- all evening, you had made it your mission to get him to interact with someone- a passerby, someone in the club he found attractive, a kid even, but he kept clinging to you, and you had to stop in disbelief because were angels so innocent and human-interaction deprived? You asked him if he had angel friends, and he had a handful. Then what made mingling with humans so difficult?
“First of all,” Yeosang had said, “Humans are scary. Angels are innocent- we aren’t as cunning and dangerous as humans. You humans are closer to demons in nature than you are to angels. Rarely do we find a human soul as innocent or pure as an angel. Usually it’s the kids.”
You made a distasteful face as you recalled that, putting more meat in Yeosang’s bowl, “Tell me, just what did you have in mind when you said you wanted to stay on earth a little longer? Because I really don’t see you getting anywhere, to be honest.”
Yeosang nearly choked on his food, drinking water as he thought of an answer, “I don’t really know. It was more of an impulsive decision, plus… you’re interesting. I thought other humans would be too, but they’re more scary.”
“I don’t know if I should feel flattered or offended,” you gave a painful smile, “Well, let’s give up on trying too hard. Just go along with the flow of time, help me with uncovering the truth and let’s see where we stand after that, shall we?”
Yeosang nodded, and the two of you fell in casual conversation, sharing stories from your past as you ate, Yeosang telling you about some interesting humans he’d encountered in his life while you told him about your broken family and Dajeong, the only ray of sunshine you had in your life. You only realized you had been smiling the whole time when you were back home and alone in your own room.
You didn’t wipe that smile off.
—---------------
“It’s your brother,” Yeosang announced two days later when he entered your office after taking a break- which was him just wandering around in the office.
“Step-brother,” you corrected as you turned to him, “What do you mean?”
“I checked,” Yeosang sat on the sofa, looking angry- could angels get angry? “He’s the mastermind behind the accident.”
“Duh,” you rolled your eyes, “That’s not news to me. How did you know?”
“It involves eye contact- I compelled the truth out of him. Don’t worry, he won’t remember.”
“Oh,” you gulped, realizing that if he could compel the truth out of anyone, he could very well ask you about the trace any damn day, “but… we need to somehow make him admit it, we need evidence. I don’t care about the attempts on my life- I just need some sort of evidence that he’s the one behind Dajeong’s death, and I need to obtain it… in a way that is not supernatural.”
“But here’s the thing,” Yeosang pursed his lips, “He’s not the one behind the attempts on you.”
“He’s not?” You frowned- now that was news. “Must be some rival of this company?”
“Perhaps,” Yeosang agreed, “You should look into it.”
“I don’t really care, they’re lousy, but… I guess I should inform father. You don’t have any idea how to obtain evidence, do you? Legally?”
“No,” Yeosang pouted, and you smiled to yourself- it was such an innocent action. “Sooo, I guess my job here is over…”
“Hey!” You gaped at him, “What exactly have you done?”
“Don’t forget the fact that I just confirmed that it’s your brother, so you don’t need to look into other people,” Yeosang said as a matter-of-factly.
“Right,” you clenched your jaw, “So, what now?”
“What- oh,” Yeosang realized you were asking whether he still wanted to stay on earth, “I’ll just relax and… mingle, I guess.”
“Right,” you smirked, “Go ahead. Mingle. I need to hear your progress every night, okay? And if you don’t make progress… I’ll have to take matters into my own hands.”
Yeosang put one leg over the other cockily, “And what, exactly, would that entail?”
Yeosang found that out a week later.
“This is a very bad idea,” he shook his head and you clenched his hair, earning a hiss of pain from him.
“I told you not to move, you’re making this more difficult than it has to be.”
You were styling his hair- trying to achieve that messy look that you’d seen on him- that had been natural, but you remembered thinking to yourself how good he looked in that hairstyle- not that he looked bad otherwise. He was always, always looking so handsome and ethereal that you sometimes found it hard not to daydream about him.
And you would never say it out loud, but you were getting used to his company. You were getting used to him, and that was bad, because he would move on and you’d be alone once again-
“This looks good,” Yeosang brought you back as he said that, turning his head in different angles, “But do I have to unbutton all the way till here?”
Your eyes went to his slightly exposed chest- god really had taken his time sculpting him. You took a deep breath, nodding, “It’s gonna make you look hot.”
“This is bad,” Yeosang’s deep voice went high as he said that, pacing around, and you scanned him- dressed in all black and a leather jacket, he looked dangerous. He abruptly turned to you, locking eyes with you. “You’re going with me.”
“I am,” you confirmed, but he shook his head.
“You’re going with me looking like this too,” he motioned at himself, “go get ready. You need this more than I do.”
You put your hands over your hips, “I do not.”
Yeosang scoffed, “You do, because you’re gonna stay on this earth and you’ll be all alone without me. I’ll move on. I don’t need this- I’m only doing this because… I’m not ready. I think.”
You raised a brow at that, choosing to ignore the obvious confusion of why he was still here, “Well… I guess I could dress up.”
You came out of your closet a few minutes later, dressed in all black too- a top with lacy borders, your own leather jacket in your hands as you pondered over whether you should wear it or not, wide pants and heels. Yeosang scanned you rather slowly, watching you as you went to the mirror and applied red lipstick and mascara, turning to him and holding the jacket up. “Yay or nay?”
“I think we should match,” Yeosang smiled a little as he took your jacket, making you wear it, looking at you from the mirror.
“That’s not gonna keep people away, pretty boy,” you grinned at him, “Let’s go?”
“One last thing,” Yeosang said, taking the clip that was holding your hair in a messy bun off, surprising you as you protested a little, your hair spreading down and he put some in the front. “Done.”
Yeosang didn’t know where the courage was coming from, but it made him feel… things. Your touch made his heart flutter, and the way you sometimes looked at him…
He really needed to meet someone else tonight.
But what was the purpose, Yeosang wondered throughout the whole ride, was he looking for a relationship? Was he looking for a friend?
“I don’t know why I’m here and why I’m doing this,” Yeosang muttered as he found himself on the dance floor with you after a few drinks.
“You’re doing this because you need to live a little,” you told him, straightening his shirt.
There it was. The heart skipping a beat. Yeosang sighed, “I’ve lived long enough.”
“You know what I mean, pretty boy,” you said as you put your arms on his shoulder while searching for options for Yeosang in the crowded dance floor, “You haven’t lived until you’ve broken the rules a bit and felt the thrill.”
“And when I burn to death?”
You smirked at him, “If I was you? I wouldn’t care about that. As long as I have something to live for, something that I enjoy… I wouldn’t mind, you know?”
“I’m not sure I understand,” Yeosang frowned, “Why would I willingly burn myself for the thrill?”
“You ask yourself that when, for instance, you fall in love with a human,” you said, looking at him now, ���I haven’t been in love, but I know that if I was an angel and I fell for a human… I wouldn’t care about burning.”
“Well, I care,” Yeosang rolled his eyes, “I value my life, thank you very much. I wouldn’t want to hurt the human as well- do you think the human could move on after being loved by an angel?”
“Now that sounds like something with a backstory,” you wiggled your brows, making him roll his eyes once again.
“There was an angel once,” Yeosang sighed, “Who fell in love with a human. The human loved him back equally, if not more. The angel started to burn slowly. It’s like small burn marks appearing on your body, growing and consuming you alive unless you stop. So, the angel decided to stop. He took her memories.”
“Oh,” you took a good few seconds as you ran what he had said again in your head, “That’s… not you, is it? The angel?”
“No,” Yeosang let out a short laugh, “You know me- I can’t even talk to humans properly. It was someone we knew. It’s why we keep the story close to our hearts because we know what it’s like. The angel… love consumed him even after he took her memories. It is hard to leave a love behind, whether it’s with a human or an angel.”
“And the human?”
“She could never love again,” Yeosang smiled sadly, “She tried, but… she just couldn’t. She knew, in her heart, that she’d never feel as loved again.”
“That’s… incredibly sad,” your face fell visibly as you said that, and Yeosang smiled, “Is this really a bad idea then? Me finding you someone?”
“Honestly? I don’t want to find love on earth,” Yeosang admitted, “I just want to… try living like a normal human, I guess. I’ve heard that angels used to be humans who died an unfair death, so maybe that’s what’s keeping me here.”
“Well,” you smirked, “You know what normal humans do? They hook up with strangers,” you smirked dangerously, pointing behind him, “And I think she’s interested.”
Yeosang turned, following the direction of your finger to the girl you had pointed at. He shook his head, but you poked his stomach, “Come on. Loosen up. It’s the falling-in-love that’s forbidden, right? Here’s the loophole. Go live like a human with carnal desires.”
But Yeosang’s grip on your waist tightened, whether it was out of nervousness or the emphasis for what he was about to say, you didn’t know. “I think I’ll stay.”
He didn’t tell the reason, and he didn’t need to, as he fixed his eyes on you and took the lead as you swayed to the loud rhythm, and you figured you didn’t need an explanation- his eyes were lighter as if they were nearly glowing, and you felt his gaze burning and overwhelming, as if he could see right through you.
“You’re one confused individual, Yeosang,” you were taking in his features as you said that, “I think you don’t know what you want or are too afraid to say it out loud.”
“Or both,” Yeosang shrugged, making you laugh a bit.
“Definitely,” you shook your head, “What am I gonna do with you?”
Yeosang hummed, bringing you a bit closer, and you raised a brow at his boldness, “You could forget that I’m an angel for a while, forget everything else and just… live in this moment.”
You nodded. You could definitely do that. But… you were growing nervous, and the pain was dull in your leg. “One last dance, Yeosang.”
He didn’t take his eyes off of you the entire time, and when the dance was over, you were both frustrated and relieved- relieved because your leg needed a break, and frustrated because…
You could have danced with him all damn night.
Later when you got home, you two sat on the balcony, your leg resting on the table as you sipped on your coffee, while Yeosang read a history book, shaking his head as he kept saying ‘they’ve got it all wrong’. You turned to him a bit, “Are demons… real?”
Yeosang raised a brow at your question- you usually refrained from asking about stuff like that, whether because you weren’t interested or because you respected that it might be private information, but even when you did ask something… Yeosang respected you for how you were curious about different things than other humans.
“Yes, they are,” Yeosang leaned back, “One’s right in front of me.”
“Ha, ha,” you rolled your eyes, “Do they look like you? I mean, like… humans?”
“Only the higher demons, and that’s because they can look like whatever they want to,” Yeosang flipped a page, “But they’re… horrible. Don’t interact with them, ever.”
“Yeah,” you waved a hand dismissively, “I bet they look hotter than you.”
“They may look hotter than me, but they’ll feed off of you and kill you.”
“Maybe it’s about time I meet one,” you joked, “I should be gone for good now. You’ll really miss my good company when I’m gone.”
“And who said you’re good company?”
“If I wasn’t,” you leaned forward, “you wouldn’t be spending basically the whole day and night with me.”
Which was true- Yeosang was very, very used to you now, whether he liked it and admitted it or not. And he really couldn’t leave you alone. He claimed it was the boredom and the daily life of a human intrigued him, which was his excuse to follow you around everywhere- including your office, sometimes wearing glamour and becoming invisible to all but you so the people around you wouldn’t question his presence. Yeosang was more curious than you about how humans lived, how they felt, what mattered more to them, and in return he’d answer questions such as these.
"I don't spend all day and night with you."
"Oh sure you don't," you nodded, "it's not like you live in my home, it's not like you even accompany me to the office. Sure you don't, angel. Tell me, can angels lie?"
This was why Yeosang liked you- you were somehow someone who could handle him. You were always equipped with retorts- you weren't boring like the other humans were. It's why he found himself in your company more and more.
"They can lie," Yeosang told you, and you gasped.
"So if angels sin, why are they called angels?"
"Our lies are different from yours," Yeosang told you, folding his arms as he thought about how to phrase it. "When we lie, it's to protect. Lies are our last resort."
"Ah," you nodded, "So that's why you always say 'I can't answer that' when I ask something weird? Because you don't want to lie?"
“Yes,” Yeosang watched as you massaged your leg, “Is your leg hurting?”
“Not really,” you said, “You must know by now- it’s psychological. Whenever I become nervous or stressed or excited, it starts to hurt.”
“I can’t take the pain away completely, but…” Yeosang’s hand was hovering above your leg as he stopped for permission and you nodded, which was when he finally put a hand on your bare leg- it was warm. “I can take it away temporarily when it comes.”
You watched as he caressed your leg, the skin of his hand incredibly soft, and you felt the dull pain in your leg vanish. “Thank you.”
Yeosang smiled, “Do you wanna go somewhere?”
“Are you taking me somewhere?”
Yeosang got up, helping you up as well, taking both of your hands in his, “Close your eyes.”
You frowned but obeyed, and when the cold air hit your face, you opened your eyes in surprise, “Did you just… teleport me?”
“Yep,” Yeosang grinned, “Don’t worry, we’re still in the country.”
“Wow,” you couldn’t help but turn around- it looked like you were at the peak of a hill, and there were no signs of a city or a town around- just nature, in its full glory, the moon and the stars brighter than ever. You hugged yourself when you felt a shiver run down your spine, feeling a weight on your shoulder- it was Yeosang draping his jacket and arm around your shoulder, making you sit on the soft grass.
“Someone’s in a good mood,” you smiled, and he only brought you closer, his body warmth making you lean in gladly as you sat shoulder by shoulder.
“I used to come here sometimes,” Yeosang admitted, “Thought I should see it with a friend too.”
Friend. You smiled, “I know how it feels like. I used to travel a lot with Dajeong, but ever since she’s gone, I just… stopped.”
“They say everyone you meet leaves something behind with you, but also takes something from you- a piece of their soul for a piece of yours,” Yeosang looked at you, “Dajeong seems to have taken a lot.”
“She did, and she left so much behind too,” you nodded slowly, “I didn’t use to be so sarcastic, you know.”
“I like that,” Yeosang laughed, “Do you miss her a lot?”
“I do,” your smile was sad, “I don’t have anyone left anymore, Yeosang. And I regret not telling her how much she meant to me. I regret a lot of things.I also regret trying to end my life thinking that it was the only solution. Dajeong would have been so ashamed of me.”
Yeosang let you have a moment as you wiped your wet eyes, sniffing, and then you looked at him, “Do you regret saving me?”
Yeosang tucked your hair behind your ears, his thumb caressing your cheek absently as he stared in your dark eyes. "Never."
A tear slipped out of your eye at that, and Yeosang caught it with his thumb, wiping it. "I want to scold you for being foolish, but I don't regret saving you. I don't think I could regret anything I do with you."
"Really? You're lying, Yeosang." You shook your head.
"Yeah, maybe I regret it sometimes, when you're being... you. But this? This thing we have? I don't regret that."
You had to look away at that, because he didn't know it but he was so good at saying sweet things like that and making your heart pound twice as fast. And the worst thing was, he didn't realize it.
Or so you thought.
Because Yeosang, he never knew something could excite him and make his heart a mess when he was with you. At first, he had thought it was just because it was his first time interacting with a human properly or something, but when the two of you were alone like this...
He really couldn't control himself.
Especially when you looked away- he loved to make you flush- it didn’t happen much, but when it did, it made him feel giddy. And he would be called a demon for that, but he loved playing with you like this, whatever this was. Yeosang planted a kiss on your forehead, and it made you suck your breath, especially when he drew back and caressed your face.
“You don’t realize it, but you were a gift to Dajeong when she was alive. And to me… you are a gift to me too.”
You couldn’t help but smile, resting your head on his shoulder so he couldn’t see the blush creeping up your face. You thanked him, though, as your arm snaked around his waist.
“Two lonely creatures of god, sitting under a tree, one human and one angel,” you sighed, “this sounds like the beginning of a poem.”
"Sounds like a beautiful poem," Yeosang smiled, "But you should start calling yourself a she-devil-"
You slapped his back, making him laugh out loud, the sound of it resonating in your head as you laughed along with him.
—----------------
It was two days later when you’d sent Yeosang ahead to get you your favourite brownies from the cafe in front of your office (angels made surprisingly obedient servants, you were realizing) that you felt something was wrong. You only had to meet up with him at the cafe so you could find brownies ready because you had a bad, bad day at work and you simply did not have the patience to go and wait for the brownies to arrive, and you reckoned it was your bad mood that made Yeosang agree to go ahead in the first place, and now… you were regretting it.
As you stepped out the building, you took out your cane not because you needed it but for self defence if required. You spent a good few seconds scanning the perimeter but finding nothing. Taking a deep breath, you started to cross the footpath-
It happened way too quickly to process.
One second you were walking with the cafe in front of your eyes, Yeosang’s back visible as he turned, and before he could make eye contact, before your lips had turned fully into a smile, you felt hands around your mouth, stifling your scream, your eyes widening and it only took a blink of your eyes as you found yourself on height-
Two stories up a building at the edge, and this time, you screamed despite the hand on your mouth, but you were frozen- if whoever this was let you go, you’d fall to your death.
“Let her go,” Yeosang’s voice was almost a growl.
“Not so easily, angel,” you felt the warm breath on your face and a shiver ran down your spine because there was no way to describe his voice other than slimy. “And I don’t think you’re in a position to negotiate- not when I can drop your pretty little human to death.”
He did turn then, to face Yeosang, and you saw his eyes glowing with fury, his hands fisted. “What do you want?”
“Well,” the man- if you could call it that anymore, tightened his grip around your waist, letting go of your mouth to hold your shoulder, “I guess you’ve forgotten how we were in similar situations a century ago. Only, I was the one in your place.”
Yeosang rolled his eyes, and you frowned- just what was going on? “Petty revenge? Is that what it is? You know perfectly well that it was my job from the higher-ups, don’t you? Why don’t you go fight with them?”
“You could have left her alone if you had a conscience,” the man growled, “but oh no, you had to be the good angel and do your job. Tell me, angel, how do you feel now?”
You found Yeosang’s eyes go to the cane in your hand and then he met your eyes as if trying to convey something, but it was quickly replaced with a steel gaze. “Go ahead, demon. You think she matters? She’s just a mere human I’m spending time with as I delay going to the afterlife. You take her, I find someone else, or I move on. Do I look like I care about her?”
“If you didn’t,” the demon chuckled, “you wouldn’t have followed me all the way here.”
“You know me,” Yeosang put his hands in his pockets, rather relaxed, and your grip around the cane tightened as you found the demon’s arm relaxing a tad bit, “Good angel instincts take over before I can think. Come on, you could do better than that.”
You’d had enough of the drama- you dig your nails harshly with your free hand and swirled the cane to hit the demon’s head, running away from his grasp as you ran to Yeosang, “This guy clearly doesn’t care about me,” you motioned to Yeosang as the demon glared at you, lunging at you but you raised your cane, “You’re one lousy demon.”
The demon laughed out loud, “You both think you’re good actors? Tell me, Yeosang, have you really forgotten who I am? What I am?”
“Slimy demon,” you muttered as you wiped your arms, shivering as you took in his appearance- tall and dangerous and dark. You felt Yeosang near you, holding your arm protectively and you raised a brow as if to say ‘now you care?’
“I’m the demon of time, son. I’ve marked her because if not today, she’ll mean something to you in the future and that’s when I’ll come. Be prepared.”
With that, the demon disappeared in a smoke, and Yeosang sighed, turning you around and scanning you in detail, and you made a face at him. “Finally you care?”
Yeosang groaned as he rolled his eyes, “Don’t pretend you don’t know that I was acting.”
You smiled at that, shrugging away, “I’m fine.”
“I need to check if you’re scratched anywhere,” Yeosang shook his head, “It would be bad if he did.”
“Like how your cuts didn’t heal?” You asked and he nodded.
“But worse, because poison. My cuts were supposed to be decoration for your skin.”
You gaped at him, “I hope that was a really bad joke, Yeosang, I really do.”
Yeosang didn’t say anything, sighing when he finally stood straight and faced you, his face full of worry, “Are you okay?”
You realized then that you weren’t standing on your own anymore, you were using the cane and his arms for support, your body finally catching up with the shock. “I’m… okay.”
“Come here,” Yeosang almost whispered as he embraced you, your arms going around his waist as you rested your head on his chest and could hear his loud heart, “I’m sorry you had to go through that, I truly am.”
“It’s okay, I’m just glad you didn’t ditch me for the brownies,” you mumbled and Yeosang’s body shook as he laughed, squeezing you tighter in the hug like a kid before letting you go.
“Come on, you’ll need the sugar. Close your eyes.”
You did and Yeosang transported you two to the empty lane behind the cafe, going inside the cafe, apologizing at the counter for delay and picking up the brownies, bringing them to your table with an extra cup of coffee. “Right on time.”
You smiled, digging right in- you really needed the sugar before you’d start panicking. “I still can’t believe he was an actual demon- he was, right?” Yeosang nodded and you wowed, “He looked normal enough. If his voice wasn’t so weird and he didn’t smell funky he’d pass as one hell of a hottie.”
“I can’t believe you just said that,” Yeosang threw his spoon back as he sat back to glare at you, and you laughed.
“Don’t worry, he’s not my type.”
Yeosang pretended to leave and you laughed, pulling him back, “I’m joking, it’s just how I cope with stress, okay? You’d rather I panic and start crying right here?”
Yeosang considered for a moment and then sat back, making you mumble ‘thought so’. He shook his head, “I’ll admit, demons can look… somewhat charming when they want to. It’s how they lure humans.”
“What was he talking about though?” You asked, “What’s this century old business that he’s remembering now?”
“He’s the time demon and if he says he’s marked you…” Yeosang was thinking as he sipped on the coffee, forgetting that it was yours and you didn’t point it out, “It means… he wasn’t lying. And he marked you which means he might be the one who’s been teasing you with those incidents you’ve had after Dajeong’s death- lame attempts to make it less obvious but make you aware nonetheless.”
“Wasn’t lying about what?” You asked.
“That… you’d mean something to me in the future, which is why he’s after you to come at me.”
“I’m just hurt I don’t mean anything to you right now,” you were genuinely hurt but you pouted pretending you were joking. Yeosang scoffed.
“You don’t realize that he could have meant various things by that, do you? What exactly are you implying?”
“Nothing,” you waved a hand in dismissal, ignoring the smirk on his face as you put your elbows on the table, resting your face in your hands, “What are we gonna do now?”
“We do nothing except stay alert,” Yeosang said, “You’ll do nothing. I’ll… think and do something.”
“How dangerous is he?”
“Dangerous enough and then some,” Yeosang’s voice was grim, “I can’t win against him alone.”
“Oh,” you gulped, “I hope you have a good few strong angel friends."
You noticed just how distracted Yeosang was the whole day and the next, not talking much, just thinking and thinking. You couldn't take it anymore after that.
"Okay," you got up from your desk, "we're taking a damn break. I can't focus on anything when you look like someone stole your candy. Come on, we're forgetting everything for a while and relaxing."
Yeosang narrowed his eyes at you, "I'm not going to that damned club again."
"I'm not taking you there," you grinned, "Let's go to the beach."
Yeosang made a face but you shut him up, going to your closet and packing a bag of everything you'd need. You didn't intend to swim but you'd take a change of clothes in case these got wet. A hat, another for Yeosang, your sunglasses, and you were done. You basically dragged him to the kitchen as you packed another bag of snacks, bickering back and forth with each other and slapping each other's hands repeatedly, and Sierra who have been watching from a distance decided not to interrupt after all when she saw the smiles on your faces- she really didn't want to ruin the moment, though she did give you both suggestive eyebrow wiggles when you finally settled in the car to leave.
"I'm driving," Yeosang announced and you let him, taking the passenger seat and rolling the window down once you took the highway, your hair blowing as you hummed to the music on the radio. Yeosang couldn't help but sneak glances at you once in a while.
"How come you know how to drive when you don't need a car?" You suddenly asked, "Do you even have a licence?"
Yeosang fished one out of the air and you rolled your eyes at how dramatic he was, "You'll get home in one piece, worry not."
"Do angels know other human activities too? Like cooking? Or… I don't know, painting? Can you write? Can you speak other languages?"
"I can do everything you can think of," Yeosang flaunted.
"Except being entertaining, it seems."
"You just have a bad taste of entertainment," Yeosang said, and you rolled your eyes, shutting up when your destination arrived.
You got out of the car, stretching hard and smiling in satisfaction because you had no one else here- it's why you always came to this part of the beach. It was usually always empty. "Great weather today, isn't it- oooh."
Yeosang was wearing sunglasses now- how did he look pretty in everything? He ran a hand through his hair as he rolled his sleeves and you internally swooned, cursing yourself because no, you could not have the hots for an angel. He looked at you, unbeknownst to the effect he had on you as he approached you casually, "Let's soak our feet."
The two of you found a rock to sit on, your legs soaking in the waves that came back and forth with the wind, and you sighed in satisfaction. "It's been too long since I came here."
"It's a good spot," Yeosang nodded, "You should come here often, you're already less cranky now."
"I should," you laughed, "The sunset is pretty too."
Yeosang nodded, turning his face to the sunset, his fingers brushing yours playfully as the two of you watched the sunset, sorting your thoughts out. You offered him some snacks which he declined, instead extending his hand. "Walk with me?"
You took his hand, the two of you walking along the shore, all giggles and mischievous grins when a wave would hit your feet and you'd spray each other. Yeosang squeezed your hand, "Thanks for bringing me here and… everything you've done for me. No human has been so good to me and none has been such a good friend."
"You're welcome, sir," you teased, loving how sunkissed he looked right now, "Thanks for what you do for me too. You've done more than you could imagine."
"Good to hear," he smiled, "You know what I like about you? You're not asking me weird questions or not taking advantage of me. Humans do that, you know. I thought you'd too at some point, but… I guess you care."
"Well, any human who did otherwise doesn't know how good you are," you shrugged, "They lost a good friend."
"Ah, when you say it like this," Yeosang fanned himself and you slapped his arm.
"Don't let it get to your head," you grinned.
"Well, I'm feeling myself today, so go on. Compliment me. I won't judge."
"Really?" You raised a brow, more in surprise when he turned, putting his arms on your shoulders as he swayed around, making you laugh. "Okay, well… you make a good errand boy."
Yeosang rolled his eyes, "And?"
"You're also not a painful sight to see, you know what I mean? Like, when I need to zone out, I can just stare at you instead of staring at something boring like the walls, you know?"
"Ah, are we playing this game? Should I tell you how much of a pain in my ass you are?"
You poked his stomach, "Shh. Okay, you're… not boring. You answer my questions."
"You ask nice questions."
"Yep," you nodded, taking a deep breath when you looked at him- the faint sun glow was making him look painfully beautiful. "You know what? You're beautiful, inside and out, and sometimes it's unbelievable. Sometimes I think you're not real, that you're just a character I've made up in my head to cope with whatever was going on. It makes me want to cry too, because I don't deserve you. I should tell you about the trace and tell you to move on, but I want to keep you to myself a little longer, if not forever."
Yeosang was surprised by your sudden confession, and you were blushing at this point as you shrugged, mumbling 'you asked for it' and Yeosang sighed, his hands snaking down your arms to hold your hands.
"I'm real…" he gave your hands a squeeze, "And I… I could ask you about the trace. I could force it out from you but somehow… the only thing keeping me here is not the trace but you."
You frowned in confusion but then he brought your hands to his face, making you cup it, "I'm real, aren't I?" You nodded, dazed, and he continued, "You could keep me forever here. We both know we're only pretending that the trace is holding me back anyway."
You tilted your head in confusion as you ran his words in your head, and he leaned in to your touch, "Forget about whether you deserve me or not. I don't feel like I'm good enough for you."
"Yeosang- you're an angel. You are too good for me. Why would you think that?"
"I don't know," Yeosang's voice was barely a whisper, "I don't know what you're doing to me, but you make me feel… undeserving. You make me want to become better even when I'm an angel. I mean, I couldn't get better than this, could I?" He let out a laugh, "And yet…"
He brought one of your hands down to his chest, making you feel his heartbeat, "This is what you've done to me, and now I don't know what to do about it."
You bit your lips, smiling at him and then shaking your head when his gaze was too much, "Don't do anything. Especially not anything stupid."
Yeosang laughed, and you patted his face, about to draw away but he put an arm on your back and brought you unbelievably closer, gazing down at you, his lashes casting shadows on his face. God, he was making you feel things. You stared at him, shaking your head slightly in disbelief. "You're treading on dangerous waters- unintentional pun."
Yeosang smirked, "If I be damned, so be it."
"No, angel," you straightened his shirt, "You're gonna move on like a good angel. I'm gonna carry on with my life- Yeosang… Don't make me go there if you can't stay. Don't make it harder for me."
Yeosang caressed your hair, "I want to ruin you and myself. I want to burn, and you won't let me?"
"No," it took every ounce of your energy to say it, "I don't want you to burn. I would never do that to you, you understand?"
"I don't," Yeosang looked incredibly sad as he hugged you, swaying you back and forth and you inhaled, wanting nothing else but to stay in these arms forever where you felt safe and loved. "I should move the hell on, shouldn't I?"
You squeezed him tighter, "Stay a little longer, will you?"
Yeosang drew back at that, pinching your nose because your confused face was so cute, then kissing your forehead, lingering there. "Thank you."
----------------
"If you make that loud noise one more time, I'll ask security to accompany- no, throw you out," you glared at Yeosang.
"Security got nothing on me, human," Yeosang continued munching on his chips loudly, "Plus, it's no fun if you don't eat snacks like these loudly."
Your jaw clenched and unclenched as you wondered what to do with him, sitting in your office with feet on the table like he was the boss of you. You even considered revealing the trace so he would move the hell on. "Why are you still here again? I mean, on earth and not moving on?"
"Well," Yeosang tried to remain serious but ended up smirking, "there's the threat on your head. I can't move on without doing something about it."
"Right," you hid your face as you smiled, "And the threat won't disappear if you just move on, eh?"
"Nope," the amusement in Yeosang's voice was thick, "What if you get hurt when I'm gone?"
You looked up at that, "No bullshit about 'all that happens is meant to happen' anymore?"
Yeosang laughed, munching on his chips haughtily, "You're not used to people actually worrying about you, are you?"
You shrugged, going back to work- or trying to, but all you could think about was how you'd cope with his absence when he would be gone. You looked at him wiping his fingers and folding the wrapper neatly before making it disappear with a wave of his hand. He caught you staring at him, raising an eyebrow in question.
"Yeosang…" you shifted in your chair, "When you're ready to move on… you won't make me forget everything about you like you did before, would you?"
Yeosang scanned your face for an answer, finding only confusion, "Not if you don't want me to."
"Oh," you nodded slowly, "And… what do you think would be better?"
"Depends on you," Yeosang's voice was cautious, "I could make you forget but…"
"But you wouldn't want to?"
You saw Yeosang's fists clenching and unclenching- oh, he was holding himself back. "I… I'll be back. If I'm late, go home without me."
Before you could say a word, he was gone and you sighed as you sat back. As if on cue, a knock sounded and you asked them to come in.
"Your brother's here to see you."
Now that was new. You nodded, Dohyun entering with a cheeky smile, looking around. "Where's that pretty plaything of yours?"
Two could play that game, "I see that old hag isn't following you around these days. Finally decided you prefer younger women?"
Dohyun scoffed, taking a seat, "Let's talk… business."
"I have literally nothing to talk to you about," you joined your hands, "so go on."
"You should call off your men. What you're looking for… you won't find."
You frowned. Men? What was he talking about? "You've got the wrong person, Dohyun."
Dohyun fixed his watch as he glared at you, "Are we forgetting about how you've been blaming me for your friend's death since years? And now you're sending your goons to do some sniffing around?"
Your frown must have been obvious because now Dohyun was confused too. You shook your head, "Yeah, I did blame you, I didn't find proof so I shut up. But what's got your panties in a twist now? Who's sniffing around?"
Dohyun scanned you for a good while before sighing, "Someone went to the station and asked for the case files and specifically brought my name into the mess. You're telling me that's not you? I don't believe you for a second."
"Now that's interesting," you were smirking, "Tell me, is there someone else who'd want to ruin you- other than me? There must be people, Dohyun, you haven't been exactly on the good side. If there's someone who has a reason to, you better tell me. Because they might be connected to Dajeong's case."
Dohyun thought about it- he had caused the accident, so who exactly was sniffing around if not you? He couldn't exactly admit that he was behind this, that he had only intended to hurt you and not kill you all together, that something had gone really, really wrong and he too had been living with the guilt. So he only got up, straightening his suit, "I'll… look into it and see who's sniffing around. I'll handle it, but if it's you-" he was pointing his finger at you and you raised your hands in surrender, making him draw back with a sigh, leaving the room.
This was getting really interesting.
---------------------
It was almost midnight and Yeosang still hadn't come back home.
You were wondering just what was wrong- was it something you had said? Did he perhaps move on? But he couldn't. So just where was he?
Even though you did not want to worry because he could be out for a walk or to relax or to take a breather from you or 'mingling' with people finally, you couldn't help but feel anxious, pacing in your room until your leg started to hurt and then sitting in the balcony, waiting and waiting.
You had almost dozed off when you heard an almost painful groan, turning abruptly and seeing-
"Yeosang, oh god," you got up abruptly as you saw just what state he was in- messy, a painful expression on his face and… injured. "What happened?"
Yeosang winced in pain as you touched his arm, "Not here- let's go to a room."
You took him to your room, making sure the path was clear and then making him sit on your bed as you scanned his body, "Were you in an accident or a fight?"
His eyes held guilt and you understood, and you lightly slapped his head, making him glare at you, "Angels are supposed to be the good guys and not fight. What got you in a fight?"
"I can't tell, and you should treat me first anyway."
You narrowed your eyes at him, taking a fancy looking bottle from him that he explained was a medicine to speed up the healing- something you shouldn't come in contact with because it would burn you. You took a cotton bud, applying it to his wounds one by one, watching with wonder as they healed in minutes, stitching themselves back just like yours had. Then he turned, unbuttoning his shirt and letting it down so you could apply it on his back, a large cut that looked like-
"It was him, wasn't it?" You finally asked, "The time demon. You went after him."
Yeosang didn't answer again- he couldn't lie, so he would keep his mouth shut. You sighed, pulling his shirt up his shoulders when the last wound stitched itself back, then turning him so he was facing you, putting the medicine aside and pulling his chin up with your fingers, making him look at you in the eyes as you straightened his hair. "Why?"
Yeosang was determined to keep his mouth shut, and you shook your head, smiling at how stubborn he could be. "I'm gonna make some wild assumptions and if I'm wrong, you can tell me so, yeah? So, did you go after him to get some revenge?"
Yeosang shook his head no, and you caressed his cheek, his light brown orbs almost golden.
"Did you go after him to get some answers?"
This time, he didn't answer. You continued caressing his face and hair, "You wanted to know something about how long he's been after me?"
"That's a yes and no," Yeosang was smiling, leaning in to your touch, and you internally sighed as your heart basically sank all the way down, maybe even 6 ft under you- you could stay like this forever.
"And… you wanted to know about the thing he talked about- about how I'm supposed to mean something to you-"
"You already mean a lot to me," Yeosang held your wrists and brought your hands down as he caressed them, his head down, "I… I can't do this anymore. I want to take this step and yet… you're holding me back."
You looked up as you sighed, "I don't want to put you in pain, Yeosang. I don't want you to hurt because of me, I don't want to be selfish-"
"I'm hurting more right now, don't you realize?" Yeosang's brows were furrowed, "There's no way I could hurt more than this. So tell me, what's holding you back now?"
You pursed your lips, "What will I do when you… burn, just because I had feelings for you? What will I do when something happens to you?"
Yeosang was smiling in satisfaction- you'd finally said it out loud. He got up, planting a kiss on your forehead and then letting go. "I can move on then. Right now. I know what the trace is- I was just pretending not to. So I guess this is goodbye-"
"No-" you stopped, almost crying out of frustration, your arm extended as if to stop him, and Yeosang did it then. He grabbed your arm, bringing you in for an embrace, and you felt like you could disintegrate right there. His arms were secure around you and you felt every breath he took in your bones.
"I don't care about the consequences. I'm already damned. There's no way I can go back now, without knowing what it was to love you, so please, just… let me love you."
You drew apart a little, looking into his eyes for any sign of doubt or second thoughts, and finding none, you brought his face closer, your noses caressing as you tried to calm your beating heart but how could you, when his grip around your waist tightened and he leaned right in, kissing you innocently at first and then almost growling as he kissed you again with pressure, abandoning the hold around your waist and holding your face instead, his fingers in your hair and on your neck and you clenched onto his open shirt as you kissed him back and you instantly knew with a small amount of regret along with the overwhelming satisfaction-
That there was absolutely no way you could recover from this. You were ruined, ironically, by an angel, and you could never love someone else after this.
You broke apart for breath, grinning when you saw the cheeky smile on his face, not saying anything but making him sit back on the bed as you sat on him, drawing his shirt back playfully as you peppered kisses on his face, his hands massaging your legs, your hands holding his face as you shook your head. "What am I gonna do with you, pretty boy?"
"I'd suggest some things but I'm sure they'd be inappropriate-"
"Ah, you sound… devilish," you grinned, kissing him again and he held your waist as you leaned into the kiss, your lips locking as if meant for each other, and you couldn't take how his kisses made your skin tingle, made you feel like you were high and on the clouds, and you never wanted to break apart, cursing yourself internally because you were human and had to breathe.
"I think I know the reason this is 'forbidden'," you said, "I feel like I'm high on some really good drug. I want to keep feeling like this."
"I know what you mean," Yeosang nodded, "With angels and humans… we feel everything on a higher magnitude than we would with our own."
You nodded, letting Yeosang pull you on the bed next to him, letting him get on top of you as he kissed you some more, excruciatingly slow and passionate that made your legs numb, every kiss on your skin making you shiver and moan, and then he pulled you in his arms, pecking your forehead as he mumbled sweet nothings until you both fell asleep in each other's arms.
-------------------
"Miss- oh," Sierra cleared her throat as she entered and saw you getting ready and Yeosang still recovering from his sleep, his shirt unbuttoned and chest exposed, "Well, well."
"Sierra," you smiled at her as if Yeosang waking up in your room wasn't an odd sight, "Good morning to you too."
"Can I just say, about fucking time-"
"Sierra," you glared at her but laughed at how she cursed- it was the first time you heard profanity from her mouth, "What brings you here in a rush?"
"I have your brother on hold- why don't you have each other's number?"
"Because he's an asshole," you said, frowning as you took the phone from him, "I hope you heard that."
"Good morning to you too, sis," Dohyun said, "Just wanted to let you know that you might wanna look into your driver."
"My driver- what? Mr. Lee? Why?"
"Just… meet me in the office. I have something to tell you."
You frowned as he ended the call, waiting for Sierra to go before looking at Yeosang and telling him what just happened."
"Should I… feel him out?"
"No… Mr. Lee is… normal? He's been my driver and bodyguard of sorts ever since-"
Yeosang raised a brow as you paused, "Ever since…?"
"After Dajeong's death," you looked at him, "Are you sure Dohyun's the one behind Dajeong's death? What's a possible loophole in your whole compelling thing?"
"Well, he believes so," Yeosang said, "And that is the loophole. Anything he believes as the truth. He feels guilty too."
"We need to get to the office."
The whole ride to the office was rather quite, which was unusual because you and Yeosang were always nonsensical bickering during the morning. You only stared at Mr. Lee- the middle-aged driver who apparently worked for your dad before working for you.
It was half an hour later that Dohyun entered your office, looking at Yeosang as if to send him out, and Yeosang pretended to go but returned with glamour, invisible to all but you, giving you the thumbs up. Dohyun cleared his throat, sitting down.
"I'm only going to say this once, so you better hear me good," he said.
"Depends on what you tell me."
"Look, I was… involved in the accident 5 years ago. I had some part of it, but it wasn't supposed to happen," he looked at you and you could tell it was taking him a lot to actually say it, which meant there had to be something bigger than this, "I only meant to scare you. You were always riding those bikes and I just intended to scare you a little- no accident. But then everything happened, and I couldn't believe it, I thought I killed the poor girl. It took me months to finally accept my mistake, especially because I couldn't find the driver. You know how he went missing. But… the man I had actually put up with the job of only scaring you… he called me after a few months. He told me he had been on the run, that there was someone else that day who had stolen his car and caused that accident, and then he's been hell bent on getting rid of him."
"Okay, wait…" you processed everything as you stared at the blank page in front of you, "You thought it was you? You sounded like you were guilty a few days ago too."
"That's because of the phone call," Dohyun was fidgeting with his fingers, "It was vague. The man told me he wasn't behind this, that someone was after him. I thought this was his way of dealing or coping with the accident that he caused, that it was his guilt speaking, until…"
"Until?"
"He died. He was in an accident too. I only found out a few months ago. At first I wasn't suspicious, because accidents happen, you know? But with the person sniffing around on the case again… I knew something was horribly wrong."
"And what, exactly, did you find?" You were glad that your voice hadn't cracked.
"Mr. Lee, your driver," Dohyun's eyes were full of pity, "He might have been the one behind it. I don't have definite proof right now, but I did a background check- remember that one time when dad had his son fired just because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time? After making a scene and humiliating him?"
You nodded after a second- it happened when you were young and you'd heard some rumours about it. Dohyun continued, "His son was being bullied by his colleagues too. He was still a student, part timing here. He couldn't take it anymore. He committed suicide, and that's when Mr. Lee took a break. He returned as your driver right after Dajeong's death, didn't he?"
You felt nauseous now as you nodded, dreading what you were about to hear, "He's keeping an eye on you, on everyone. He's keeping an ear out for the rumour. He didn't intend to kill Dajeong. His target was you, because it would be… eye for an eye. He blamed the company, tried to sue us but returned with a clean slate- why would he return to the place his son died?"
You were glad Yeosang was behind you and rubbing your shoulders in comfort because you would have thrown up otherwise. "Dohyun… I… if this is one of those sick games of yours-"
"It's not," Dohyun glared at you but you could see the pain in his eyes, "Do you know how much courage it took me to dig into this again and tell you after years of holding it in and thinking I was a murderer? I care for you, whether you like me or not. You're still my half- sister, even if you're a stubborn bitch."
"Well, thank you," you said sarcastically but your voice was weak, "what do we do, Dohyun? Why hasn't he tried to kill me again?"
"I thought about it, and the only possible explanation is that either he's looking for a chance to take us both down together- kill two birds with one stone- or, he's trying to find something big, something he'd use to expose us. To ruin the company. Anything like that."
You finally let out a sob, putting a hand over your mouth as you rushed to the sink, heaving out the contents of the little breakfast you had, and though Yeosang was rubbing your back and comforting you, he let Dohyun do it instead when he came for you.
"I'm sorry that all of this happened. I'm to blame too. I never meant to hurt you or Dajeong. I used to play with you two when we were in elementary, remember? I would never hurt her or you- I'm human."
You wiped and rinsed your mouth, nodding. "I've hated you ever since Dajeong's death, because nothing else made sense. You know what I mean, right?"
"I know… I hated me too," Dohyun admitted, and you passed a sad smile- he was a victim in this too.
"What do we do?"
"I've got men on it- they'll find something soon, don't worry about that. I'll take care of everything, just… you have to do me a favour. You have to act normal around him till we find something. Do not let him suspect anything. He's too clever. Can you do that?"
"I don't know," you looked at Yeosang and he nodded- he'd help you. "I'll try."
"You're a good actor," Dohyun teased, "You can do this. You have to."
You were glad Yeosang was with you- holding your hand all the way back home and talking with you about random stuff, distracting you, grabbing your attention whenever you tried staring at Mr. Lee.
"This is so messed up," you slumped on the couch in your room while Yeosang asked Sierra to bring you something light to eat- perhaps a salad, because you weren't feeling well. "I cannot believe I've put my trust in the very man who killed my best friend."
"You couldn't have known," Yeosang shook his head, "Even I couldn't have known."
Yeosang made you eat a few spoons and drink water, and then held you as he gave you assuring squeezes, "Dohyun is going to handle it. You should just… sit back on this one. I know Dohyun has reason enough to see this to the end."
"You felt him out?" You looked at Yeosang, who was failing to stifle his smile.
"I might have, and I might have learned that Dohyun used to have a small crush on your friend."
You laughed sarcastically at first but then it turned to real laughter when you recalled how Dohyun used to tease her a lot, always tried to join you two when you were little. "That's… sad."
You wiped the tears that threatened to come out. "I… I need a break from all of this."
"And that can be arranged. You deserve it. Let's go somewhere, just you and me." Yeosang was caressing your face, "Let's live… and love."
You bit your lips at the tempting offer, but then your face fell, "Are you okay though? You don't feel any… burning sensation or something? Was that a bluff?"
"I'm okay," Yeosang assured you, "And I'll be okay. Don't think about that, will you?"
You kissed him, a few tears of guilt escaping your eyes and Yeosang wiped all of that away, holding you as he made plans to take you to his favourite places- he had a brilliant idea of teleporting you wherever you wanted, but you insisted that if he had to live like a human, he had to travel like one too.
And you did, long car rides to the beaches and the mountains, taking planes to all the beautiful sights in the country, walking through the streets for hours and hours, enjoying the street food, buying each other silly gifts like heart sunglasses or funny hats and then daring each other to wear it the whole day.
You had never laughed till your cheeks hurt and you had never loved so much that it made you cry because loving an angel, you found, was beyond overwhelming. And as you took a step further in your relationship, you both found yourself excited and terrified.
Excited because it was something new for you two, because every time he touched you, you felt warm, every time he kissed you, it felt like you could die, and Yeosang could say the same for you because he, too, had never loved like this and he could never.
But you were more terrified for him than he was. It was like he would willingly burn for you, and though you couldn't see it physically, you knew something was wrong. He tried to pretend he was as lively as ever but he was growing weaker, and you couldn't bring yourself to stop loving him just like he couldn't. It was like a candle and a fire- made for each other, and you knew that if one would vanish, the other would have no reason to exist either.
It was one night when Yeosang was sleeping that you came outside- you were at a cabin on the beach. You gazed at the full moon for a long time, hoping the wind would take away all the fear in your heart.
You didn’t know how long you stood there thinking when you felt Yeosang approach you, smiling when he wrapped his arms around you in a back-hug. “What are you doing out? It’s cold.”
“Taking a breather from you,” you teased, and Yeosang pretended to be hurt. You sighed, wondering if you should tell him.
“Yeosang… Can we talk?”
“If it’s about what I think it is, nope,” Yeosang buried his nose at the crook of your neck. You rolled your eyes because he could be very stubborn, but…
“Yeosang… I think you should move on before something happens to you.”
“And there it is,” Yeosang mumbled, “I can’t hear you right now.”
“Yeosang,” you turned, almost crying, “You’re not yourself anymore- you’re not the lively, strong, active person that I met. I can see it, and I know you can feel it too. You’re hurting, and I can’t take it.”
“If I can take it, then you can too.”
“No,” you shook your head, “Think about me, will you? If something happens to you because of me, do you think I will be able to live with myself?” Yeosang’s eyes were incredibly sad as he looked at you, and you continued, “I wouldn’t want to live anymore- not after everything that’s happened. I can’t live without you if something happens to you because of me, but I think I can live with myself if you move on and I know that I saved you.”
Yeosang caressed your face, “Do you think I could ever find peace, and… happiness- whatever we think afterlife holds us for- if I move on? What will I do? If I’m without you for eternity, what will I do, love? You’ll live your short human life and die and maybe we could meet in the heavens-”
“Not if I go to hell,” you mumbled, and Yeosang pinched your nose.
“This is no time to joke. I cannot move on with the hope that maybe, if I’m lucky, I might meet you up there after you die. I simply cannot move on knowing that there’s a chance that we might never reunite again.”
“But… I cannot hold you back here, I cannot let something happen to you. I cannot be selfish.”
“You don’t have to be,” Yeosang’s voice was rough, “I’ll be selfish. You know why? Because I cannot move on knowing that you’d be living here without me hovering around you every minute. I cannot move on knowing that you’ll be looking at other people with the hope of finding love-”
“I could never love after this, you know that,” you put your head on his chest and he ran his fingers through your hair.
“I cannot leave you behind knowing that you’ll be sad. I could make you forget, but… I am selfish, and if I move on, I would not want you to forget. But I cannot make you live with the pain, so… I’m not going anywhere.”
“That’s a very twisted logic.”
“Shh,” Yeosang smiled, pulling your face up with his fingers, “How beautiful you are, love. I don’t regret a single second of us, and I could never. If I burn loving you, so be it. If your kiss is the last thing I feel, I’d be the happiest.”
You rolled your eyes but kissed him, letting him pick you up and you straddled his waist as he kissed you back, still holding your face just as tenderly as the first time but a newfound desire in the way he kissed you this time, and perhaps it was the romantic breeze caressing you both that made you bolder, made you drop off only to push him back on the sand, kissing each other like it was the last time, and when Yeosang bent upwards, shirt off, he let his wings free, and you marvelled at the sheer majestic size of it.
“They’re beautiful,” you ran your fingers across them, making him shiver, “You’re beautiful, Yeosang. I don’t know what you see in bland old me.”
“I see you differently than you do,” Yeosang kissed your temple, “And that’s enough for me.”
You straddle him again as you kissed him and his wings wrapped around your bare skin. You let the feathers cut at your skin everywhere even though Yeosang tried to hold back, and he had to draw away as he looked at you finally, small cuts decorating your skin, and he was terrified, because how could he hurt you?
“I’m okay,” you laughed at his expressions and he glared at you but healed every single cut with a kiss, and when he was done, he put his head on your lap, suddenly tired. You kissed his forehead.
“You’re growing old,” you teased.
“I’m just taking a breather before I make you mine tonight.”
If one sentence could make you moan, this was it. You had to look up at the sky to stifle it with a bite of your lips, and Yeosang tugged you down, mumbling dirty little things in your ear no angel should have been allowed to say till he finally caught his breath and did exactly what he had whispered in your ear in detail.
And as he made love to you for the first and the last time, you really couldn’t have known. Yeosang knew though. He knew he had little time with you. And he would be called a devil for it but he simply couldn’t fade away without imprinting himself on you, without knowing what it felt like to be one with the love of his life. He needed to feel how you’d clench at his hair through the pain, slice open your skin of your hands as you ran them passionately across his wings, he needed to feel every little sensation.
And when he was done, he kissed you so slowly you cried. He drew back with a wet face, and as you wiped his tears, he told you he was sorry.
“For what?”
“For being selfish,” he said.
“I love it when you’re selfish, Kang Yeosang,” you called him by his full name- something he’d told you one of those nights when you slept in his arms, apparently his human name, “I love you, Kang Yeosang.”
Yeosang shut his eyes and you frowned as his skin got noticeably hotter, no time to comprehend anything as he pulled your shirt over you with a hug, telling you that he was glad he had met you and that he wished he had longer with you.
You couldn’t hold in your sobs when your hand passed right through him, as if he wasn’t real, as if he was just a figment of your imagination. The last thing you felt was a kiss to your forehead as he told you that he would love you even when he would not exist, and you did not know how long you simply sobbed as he disappeared right in front of your eyes, your wails ringing through the empty beach, crying because he left you all alone here, rushing to your bag that had Yeosang’s feather, the trace that you kept everywhere-
It was still there. And it made you sob harder, because you were only left with a feather, a reminder of his existence, and you were so, so cold without his embrace.
You heard a rustling, turning to see another man, his wings drawing in- an angel. You frowned, getting scared for a moment but he raised his hands as if to tell you that it was alright.
“I’m Seonghwa, Yeosang’s friend- he must have told you about me.”
You tried recalling, taking a deep breath as you pushed in your tears, “Yeah- I think he did.”
Seonghwa draped your jacket on your shoulders as he sat next to you, “I’m sorry that you’re in so much pain. He asked me to come if something happened.”
“I’m sorry,” you cried, holding the feather to your chest, “He’s… gone. I’m all alone once again, I told him to make me forget him if it ever came to that, but he’s selfish, he shouldn’t have left me, he shouldn’t have loved me.”
Seonghwa let you cry as he rubbed your back, “There’s a reason you’re here right now with the memory of him. Whenever angels interact with humans, they take away their memory. If you’re still here with all the lovely memories… you were meant to love him, dear. He was meant to find you.”
You looked at Seonghwa, “I… am a mere human. How will I ever live with the memory of him, knowing what it feels like to love him? I cannot take it.”
“Humans do not understand, but they’re never given more than what they can take,” Seonghwa told you, “And you… you’re different, Yeosang said.”
You let out a short laugh, “I don’t know what’s different about me.”
“I know,” Seonghwa narrowed his eyes at you, “I don’t feel anything different from you… perhaps he was lovestruck when he said that? But he told me that just a few interactions later…”
“What are you on about? You’re being… cryptic.”
“Is that Yeosang’s feather?” Seonghwa almost screamed, and you looked confused as you held it in front of him.
“Yeah? The trace he left? I plucked it out when he saved me on his mission?”
“It shouldn’t be here,” Seonghwa said, “He- I’m sorry to ask this, but I must know, he burned, right?”
“Ouch, yeah,” you wiped your tears, “his skin got all hot and then my hand went through him and he… faded.”
“You’re telling me he didn’t catch fire? He did not literally burn?”
“I… did not realize he was supposed to literally burn, that’s cruel even for angels… Seonghwa, what are you on about?”
Seonghwa got up, mouth hanging open in disbelief as he paced around, and you were tempted to throw him in the sea because you wanted to be alone with your grief, not him acting like… Yeosang when he first met you. Seonghwa turned abruptly, narrowing his eyes at you.
“You… I should have known, dammit!”
“What are you so happy about?” You shouted at him, he was grinning like a madman.
“Yeosang didn’t burn. He’s not gone.”
“He’s not?” You gaped at him, “Where is he then?”
“I need to report this to the headquarters, someone might know what to do. You… keep that feather with you, okay? Do not lose it. He might come back. You should get home- grab your stuff, I’ll teleport you.”
“You better teleport me with my car then,” you mumbled as you got up, “And if this was false hope? I’ll personally finish you, angel.”
Seonghwa grinned as he nodded, “I can see why Yeosang likes you so much.”
—-----------------
Two months had passed.
Mr. Lee had been brought to trial with enough prove to convict him of Dajeong’s murder, and with you and Dohyun on this together, you two put down the walls little by little. Not exactly best friends but you could tolerate each other’s presence now, and that was enough.
You decided to leave your company after all- your father was a particularly hard person to work with, and with the vicious cycle that Mr. Lee had started beginning with your dad… You couldn’t be bothered to stay here anymore. You took a month long break and then started learning and working alongside a sculptor that you had known since college. Somehow, you were pretty sure your new-found love for sculptors was because of a certain angel who you used to call a sculpture.
The angel who left you alone after loving you and giving you his all.
Seonghwa was still in contact with you- apparently, Yeosang fading away like that had been a first. Him and his friends were still looking around for any record of a past occurrence, but all in vain. It was a first, and you weren’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. You were very worried and perhaps it was the worry still eating you up that let your grief not swallow you.
Sometimes you’d wake up at night sobbing hysterically, muffling your screams on the pillow and hold on to Yeosang’s feather, an anchor at this point, and pray. You’d pray that he was at least all right, not hurting.
You were just coming out from your workshop when you saw Seonghwa wave at you from a distance, and you motioned for him to wait, wrapping everything up, a dangerous spark of hope in your heart as you almost rushed to him, greeting him with a friendly hug.
“You look weaker than the last time I saw you,” Seonghwa shook his head, “Yeosang would be disappointed to know that I’m not taking care of you.”
“I am taking care of myself, I just…” you shrugged, “Give it some time.”
“Yeah,” Seonghwa nodded, “I may have found something. You might wanna sit before you hear this.”
You narrowed your eyes and sat down on the nearest bench and Seonghwa wondered how to word it to you. “The place where Yeosang was last… the beach, right? We found records of Yeosang when he was a human- nearly two centuries ago, it is the place where he died.”
“Oh,” you felt your heart sink, “You mean… die, like a normal human, and then he was… selected to be an angel?”
“Yes,” Seonghwa nodded, “Now, how does this connect to where we are at?”
“How?”
“You tell me,” Seonghwa smiled, “Kang Yeosang, the human, dies an untimely, unfair death. Two centuries later, he’s at the same spot with his love, and fades away, leaving his trace,” Seonghwa pointed at your bag, knowing you kept it with you, “Now, what could have happened?”
“He… did not die?” You shrugged, “I don’t see your point.”
“Tomorrow afternoon, be ready. We’re going to attempt reincarnation.”
“Bullshit,” you laughed in disbelief, “You’re telling me this could work!”
“Yes,” Seonghwa laughed along, “The way he faded, it's like people fade when they are to be reincarnated. It might be something similar, it might be nothing, but we have to try. I’ll arrive in your room so no one sees me, so… be prepared. And keep the feather with you.”
“Seonghwa, if… I’m gonna throw you in the sea this time, for real, if this doesn’t work.”
“You’re allowed to,” Seonghwa smiled sadly, “I’d throw myself in the sea too.”
You couldn’t sleep that night at all, either laughing in disbelief or crying because of the fear that it might not work. And the next afternoon, holding nothing but the feather, Seonghwa came into your room and teleported you to the beach, where some others were waiting as well.
Damned beautiful angels, each one of them. You’d heard about them, and Seonghwa introduced the 6 angels, each of them looking at you with mixed emotions. You couldn’t blame them. You’d taken their friend from them.
You turned towards the sea, the wind blowing your hair back and Seonghwa joined you, “I’m sorry if they don’t seem… happy.”
“I don’t blame them,” you let out a short laugh, “I took their friend. I understand them very, very well.”
Seonghwa rubbed your shoulder, “When the sun is setting… walk in the sea with the feather and drop it.”
“Drop it? In the sea?” You gaped at him, “Is this some sort of a sick way to take the trace away from me? Are you gonna make me forget later? Did Yeosang ask you to do this?”
“No, no,” Seonghwa shook his head furiously, “I can get the feather back to you if this doesn’t work, don’t worry. Just… try it. For Yeosang’s sake.”
You were sceptical, but there was a goddamned angel in front of you, so anything could work. You took a deep breath, waiting for Seonghwa’s cue.
Your heart stopped when he told you to move. Each step felt like you were walking on a tightrope, that one wrong move and everything you were left with could disappear. You swallowed your sob as you walked further in the sea until you were waist down, and then placed the feather rather hesitantly on the sea wave, finding it glowing brightly as it floated-
You screamed when something grabbed the feather and pulled it down, you almost falling on your back as you took a few steps back, pondering whether you should dive right in and see what took the feather or wait-
“Step back,” Seonghwa called, pulling you back, and you screamed no, fighting back and wanting to dive right in, but Seonghwa held you strongly by your arms, and you kept struggling until-
Until he rose out of the sea, gasping for breath, his blonde locks sticking to his face-
Yeosang.
“Unbelievable,” you heard Seonghwa gasp, and this time he did let you go but you didn’t move, because were you hallucinating? Was this a trick?
But all it took was for Yeosang to turn and draw his hair back, his brown eyes still the same, and he stared at you two for a good while as if he couldn’t recognize you, but then he smiled.
“You keep finding me, love.”
You weren’t sure whether you were laughing or crying, and Yeosang nodded at Seonghwa as he approached you, caressing your face, making you look at him and you noticed something red at his temple, something that looked like a burn, but other than that, he was the same Yeosang-
“You’re human,” Seonghwa gasped, and Yeosang nodded, embracing you and waving at his friends who were cheering and crying from a distance.
“I was so lost. Thanks for finding me.”
“You’re… really you, right?” You drew back, “Give me proof.”
Yeosang rolled his eyes and Seonghwa looked at you- his sassiness was enough proof. Yeosang whispered a memory from your first kiss that made you blush furiously and hug him again, properly, tears of happiness falling down your face.
It took you a while to calm down as you watched Yeosang greet his friends, wiping your tears and pinching yourself to check if you were dreaming. You were almost convinced this was a dream and you'd wake up and find yourself alone in your bed once again-
"Not a dream," Yeosang joined you, holding your hand and giving it a squeeze.
"So you're… human now? And what's with the mark?"
"What mark?" Yeosang touched his temple where you were pointing, asking Seonghwa who was near, who only shrugged in answer saying that it could be some sort of a reminder that he was an angel once or something. Yeosang walked with you along the shore, smiling to himself.
"What?" You asked when you couldn't hold your curiosity anymore.
"This mark is the place where you've kissed me the most."
"Oh," you laughed, "that's… romantic."
Yeosang brought you in for a hug after kissing you, "Remember what I said? I'd burn for you. And I did, and now I'm back."
"You're late," you let the tears fall, "Two months. I'm glad it wasn't more, but… these two months were very hard for me."
"I'm sorry," Yeosang pouted as he pinched your cheeks, "but you have to say, if I wasn't such a selfish brat, we wouldn't be here like this right now."
You smiled, pecking his lips, "Glad you were. You better make me forget about all the pain I had to go through. But hey, you're not an angel anymore, right? Why are you still just as charming?"
"You're telling me I'm not more charming than before?" Yeosang pinched his nose bridge, "I should just go back in the sea-"
"Hey, hey, wait," you laughed, and Yeosang playfully twirled you, and you smirked. "Let me kiss you a bit before you go back."
Yeosang gaped at you, turning to his friends who seemed to be busy with each other, then turning to you who couldn't stop laughing. "You… way to make me feel welcomed."
"Come on, I know how much you're gonna enjoy when I tell you how charming you are when we're all alone," you ran a finger playfully down his chest, noticing the outfit being the same from last time, suddenly nostalgic as you hugged him, squeezing him tight against you and he hugged you back, understanding. "I missed you so damn much, Kang Yeosang."
Yeosang wanted to tell you how much you meant to him, how much he loved you, but he figured he'd tease you too. "Well, lucky for you, we are meant to be," Yeosang smiled, kissing the top of your head.
"That's lucky for you," you scoffed, "That your ass didn't catch fire, pretty boy."
"Hey!" Yeosang laughed as you ran away before he could poke you, and his angel friends watched the two of you chase each other like kids, Yeosang twirling you around when he caught you and then kissing you.
Wooyoung watched his best friend- now a human- laugh like a kid in front of his love. He looked at Seonghwa, brows raised in amusement, "Can I go throw up now?"
#wanna wife you up so bad#literally read my cringiest (arguable) work and gave the best possible feedback#i feel like i don't deserve this but i'll take it 😭 bc iT's you 😭#you see what i did there#anyways thank you for the umpteenth time hehe#chron <3#fic: dazzling light#yeosang x reader#yeosang fluff#yeosang angst
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sub yuta okkotsu agenda 😔
no bc i got THOUGHTS, i got so many thoughts about my babygirl named yuuta okkotsu, you don't even UNDERSTAND how badly i want him
him in the movie-*aggressive eye twitch*, his big sweet innocent puppy eyes-fuck it just *short circuits*
AND THEN afterwards when he's his anxious, tired, emo self (me too fr), like he's still just my cutie patootie and it's a literal CRIME how little sub fics of him there are bc take one look at that baby AND TELL ME that he is a daddy dom in bed-you'd be lying to yourself and me-and we do not tolerate lying in this house
no but fr, he is not domming for his life. a service top-perhaps, he would still cry a lot though and if you were making HIM fuck YOU he would beg for you to just take over, his arms shaking on either side of your head as he tries to make you feel good. because it's not the same like this-he wants you to fuck him, he wants to ride you as your hands grope over his body, he wants to pinned against a wall and fucked hard and rough within an inch of his life.
babyboy just wants to be loved and taken care of by his so
#inbox💌#he's probably my second favourite character in jjk#after geto (my literal wife)#but like i'm not even done talking abt him but i gotta shut up before i talk too much and can't stop😭#don't even get me started on HIM AND MAKI#god i want her so bad too#they are the bi panic#imagine tagteaming him with maki#and he just dumbly takes it all like a good boy😫#“i can take it~”#“m' a good boy-right?”#YES YOU"RE A FUCKING GOOD BOY#I WANNA EAT HIM UPPPP#sub yuuta#hard thoughts#dom reader#yuuta x reader#yuuta okkotsu smut#yuta smut#yuuta okkotsu x reader#jjk smut#sub jjk#sub jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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Sort of a ramble, sort of me just writing my thoughts out while I'm stuck with writer's block, but I keep thinking about how Fulcrum was in stasis for roughly 3 million years??
Like, that's a long time, even for Cybertronians. Not a really long time, not an entire lifespan. But still, it's a large chunk of a normal lifespan just gone. Poof.
One second you're crawling across the pockmarked terrain of an alien planet, surrounded by the sound of gunfire, and the shouting and screaming before and after each earth shuddering impact of another k-con hitting the ground. And then it's quiet. You're not there anymore. You're drifting somewhere between not alive and just asleep. Preserved somewhere in the background of a doomed body, ignored by time and space, still here, but also not.
And then there's sound. Not gunfire. Not shouting or screaming. Not the sounds that'll haunt you till your dying days, your own death sentence pounding in your head. No. Just voices, talking, standing out against a silent, dead world. Wondering. Joking. Bickering. Familiar. Just, not familiar to you. And you're awake. Pulled back from the nothingness you've been frozen in, consciousness tugged forwards with the yank of a fuel pump and the nearness of life.
These two moments are roughly 3 million years apart, but only minutes, maybe even seconds, to him. From a hectic harrowing battlefield, to an old silent graveyard in one blink.
How long did it take to really sink in? I mean, he seems to just roll with it. He doesn't seem particularly bothered. But like, what happened outside of what we see? How did he really feel?
Also, his body aged without him. While his mind preserved itself, freezing him as he was right then, his body was left to weather Clemency for all those years. No wonder it crumbled to dust when he jumped off the world sweeper. It's probably a miracle of some kind that it didn't just fall apart each time someone leaned on him.
And even after they rebuild him, give him a better, newer body. His spark, it's casing, all the irreplaceable core bits that make up their inner bodies, it aged in the time without him. Does he feel it? Does it make his body even more foreign to him?
Then he's also a technician with information that's 3 million years out of date. Lucky him that the scavengers probably weren't working with top of the line material. But still it's gotta be weird when faced with anything brand new, because a lot can change and progress in 3 million years, and now some of the knowledge he once prided himself in is obsolete.
Besides those things, his view of the galaxy, of the war, of their kind, of other kinds, is one of the few things actually pointed out when it comes to him being stuck in the past. So, how often were his old views challenged? Facts of life he held close proved to no longer true? There's 3 million years worth of new science, new beliefs, new words, new terms, new views.
And sure, some of it can be familiar, because they're an ever evolving kind, and they have patterns, core beliefs, repeating behaviors, but a lot of it's gonna be unfamiliar at the same time, because it's 3 million years worth of catch up, it's not like missing last week's trend.
In a way, it makes him a living relic of a bygone era for Decepticons. It would've been really interesting to have had that explored a little more.
#rq i wanna say i love seeing others thoughts on these if you have them. esp those that have thought about it longer than i lol#like. im still just starting to sink my teeth into the lore and put things together. so your thoughts are much appreciated#sometimes i wish that i could turn these rambles into those really well worded. slightly pretentious. but in a fun way. character metas?#but i dont think i can organize my thoughts that well. so. rambles it is lol#not to say rambling is lesser or smth tho. i love a good ramble. love to read them. i support ramblers#speaking of rambling-#idk why it fascinates me so. but theres just something rlly interesting about fulcrum being somewhat stuck in the past#i think it could've played interestingly into his and kroks dynamic had it been explored more?#like. the past and history play big parts in their lives. krok having studied it. and fulcrum having been fast forwarded thru it#it would've been interesting to see them talk more about it? since logically fulcrum wouldve gone to krok for more of the 3mill year rundow#and its like. krok is shown to be really knowledgeable on not only history. but cultures as well. theres and others.#so certain eras of their own culture would probably be a slight interest of his. esp decepticon ones.#and then theres fulcrum. who pretty much got plucked from the empire era only to land in kroks lap (metaphorically) ((...unless?))#so heres this walking talking piece of history. and a dude that has a sort of passion for history. why not explore it more?#and like. yeah. the ''history'' krok has studied is all mostly shit he lived through. but people study the times they lived through-#-because while they may have lived through it. theirs is only one perspective. a good historian takes into account multiple perspectives#idk where i'm going with this now. smth smth fulcrum relying on krok for future stuff and krok having someone to talk history stuff with#i just. augh. i wanna know what their dynamic is more. what we see in the comics is so back and forth at times#like. they seem to hit it off pretty well. but then fulcrum fucks it up ig by being oblivious and a little too ''i can fix him'' vibey#and his taste in comedy is bad. to say the least. which is apparently grounds for messy divorce#also krok is sometimes cool with selling a whole dude. at least when the dude is their befriended giant killer autobot buddy :/#that is also grounds for divorce. obviously#sorry. this is derailing the more i start thinking about how messy fulkrok could be. like. ough <3#they're a little ''i hate my wife'' coded. but in a greater scav codependent poly way. and it's more krok being annoyed with fulcrum#its like. fulcrum: ''i can fix him bcs i need to feel validated'' vs krok: ''wtf is wrong with this guy?! who does he think he is??''#i think they'd want to pick each other apart intellectually. maybe emotionally. smth smth two officers. both disgraced. and power dynamics#its fun. they're both hypocrites. they'd need couples therapy. its also 4am. shit. ok goodnight
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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The wildest thing I can tell u today is that I came to the realization that prior to Wrio, parent AUs and the whole ‘getting married having kids’ kind of thing was not rlly my flavor. But now? My god I would honestly give this guy a beautiful wedding and a whole battalion of kids if it made him happy.
#「 🐈⬛ 」 strawberry.milk#no joke. I;;; was not rlly one for the concept of getting married. both irl and in my fics lmao#hence why it was never rlly a popular theme in the old stuff I wrote ??#but GODDAMN I wanna marry Wrio so bad and see him hold up a kid and smile like what the fuck#this guy has thrown me into my domestic house wife era WHAT THE FUCKKKK#there’s just SOMETHING about this guy that activates my mom / housewife instincts I cannot explain it to you for the life of me#head in hands I want his ring on my finger right this fucking second
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Both are attending a meeting with some business partners but soon they insult and make fun of Gil getting himself shot. Thena isn’t having it at all and soon they are begging for mercy and forgiveness 😈
For the tyrant king au of course 😁
"Then we're agreed."
Gil stood, although he hadn't said nearly as much in the meeting as Thena had with their associates. The businessmen in question were mostly interested in Thena's assets, after all, it was just that some of their 'goods' would be distributed through Thena's channels, as well as through Koreatown and Chinatown.
He wasn't nearly interested enough in what was being said; he wanted to be at home, with Thena, cuddling on the couch or listening to her read in bed while he played on his phone.
"Indeed we are," Thena nodded. The businessmen offered their hands, but Thena looked over at him. The Ice Queen didn't shake hands unless she was already acquainted with her associate.
Gil sighed, extending his hand to shake instead. The things he did for this woman. "I'm sure our doors will be open if you need to discuss anything else about the plans."
"Thank you," the associates traded looks, "Tyrant King. Your reputation precedes you. We have heard so much about your work."
He wasn't entirely sure what that was supposed to mean, but he slipped his hands into his pockets as they prepared to end the meeting, "great."
"Is it true you killed Kro?" the younger associate of the two asked in a near whisper, a juvenile glee coming from him as he asked.
"No," Gil answered without hesitation. The younger man looked disappointed before he moved his thumb towards Thena beside him, "she did."
"Ah yes, the Ice Queen is not without her own methods."
Gil caught Thena's eye for just a second. Again, he wasn't really sure what this young guy's deal was, but he was more and more eager to wrap things up.
"But The Prince Eternal, that most certainly was you!" the other associate now joined in. Technically, it was bad decorum--bringing up past business that wasn't anything they should be concerned with, Gil thought.
"Uh, yeah," Gil blinked. He wasn't sure how they had found that one out.
"Ah," the older one at least seemed to realise how rude they were being. "Forgive the intrusion. We do have quite a skilled information dealer we consulted before coming. Can't be ignorant to our honourable host's reputations, after all."
"You can be a little ignorant," Gil mumbled, although it was taken as more of a friendly joke than how he meant it--a genuine urging for them to get the fuck out of his office.
"You've had quite the past, Tyrant King!" the younger one chimed in again. "A bungled affair, sending business away left and right!"
"You even got shot last year!"
Perhaps they were unable to read the room--like, at all. But the two seemed elated to prove that they knew the lives of their business associates. They even grinned at him as they said it.
"It happens," the younger one waved it off like it was nothing, "I don't think you're past your prime at all!"
Gil bit his tongue. He didn't realise that was an opinion people had of him. What--because he got shot?! He didn't see how that was his fault.
"It was the fall of one of the great families in the business back in Korea! Their daughter still hasn't been seen in public."
Gil resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
"Do you know why that is?"
Gil felt a shiver run up even his spine, and he wasn't the one in trouble. He looked at the men who, by the calm looks on their faces, didn't seem to know yet why the temperature had changed so much.
Thena just stared at them, but they didn't make a guess at all. So, she informed them. "It's because I cut off one of her fingers before I sent her back to them."
The two men looked at one another. Apparently that wasn't in the briefing done by their precious 'information dealer' (horseshit). They put on perfectly polite smiles. "We were unaware, Ice Queen."
"Most are," Thena continued to fix them with her icy green glare. She rustled her lace around her shoulders. "I also told her that she would be relieved of her ears next, if I ever saw her near me, or my husband, again."
"Your-"
"We weren't-"
Poor guys didn't even see it coming. They could have just looked down when Thena adjusted her lace to see that she had reached for her hip. Her fingers had grasped the knife she kept around her thigh, which was now driven into the younger man's leg, dangerously close to some key arteries.
She looked at the other one, who flinched just from that. "I take threats - and disrespect - of the Tyrant King very seriously."
"I-I-I would-" he stuttered, trying to back up to the office doors behind him. But he could never have moved fast enough, getting another of her knives launched into the palm of his hand he had been trying to use to show her he meant no harm.
The younger one pulled the knife out of his thigh, but he wasn't in any condition to fight back. Thena used the sole of her heel to push him over in his crumpled posture, like a wounded animal.
"Did you find the story thrilling?" she asked so dryly and evenly. Gil watched as she reached into the younger man's suit jacket and pulled out the weapon he had in an arm holster. She held it in a way that was kind of sexy, honestly. "Did you find it amusing?"
"I'm sorry!" he yelped, trying to crawl, but his leg was all but useless. "I'm sorry, I won't say it again!"
"Do you know where he was shot?" she turned to the other one, who sprinted to the doors and pulled on them to escape.
She shot him from behind, two in the ribs and one by his clavicle (if he had been turned around facing her). "Is it painful?"
Gil just whistled to himself, impressed as always. Thena didn't even look back at him; she wasn't done.
She walked over to the man dragging his bloody hand down Gil's nice, solid oak door. Again, she used her foot to nudge him into looking up at her. "I said: is it painful?"
"Y-Yes," the man snivelled.
"Yes?" Thena glared down at him, flipping his hand over and stepping on it (the injured one).
"Y-Yes--yes, Ice Queen!"
Thena emptied the rest of the clip next to his head, scaring him very literally shitless. She left him kneeling on the floor, watching his life flash before his eyes. The completely empty and useless weapon, she tossed at the head of the other one, letting it smack him in the face like tossing a food wrapper in the garbage.
Gil pulled his hands out of his pockets just to clap. "Holy shit, Princess, that was hot!"
She glared at him, "is that truly the adjective you wish to choose?"
"Okay," he chuckled, walking over to her to amend his compliment. He kissed her temple, wrapping his arm around her, "it was ice cold."
Thena rolled her eyes at the silly joke (as the men screamed and cried in agony in the background). "That was far worse."
"Yeah, but that's why you're marrying me," Gil snickered, positively delighted to bring up their engagement at every possible opportunity.
Thena sighed, straightening his collar and unbuttoning his shirt, now that they weren't in a very important meeting. She liked seeing the edges of his tattoo sleeves encroaching on his shoulders. "I would not say that is why."
"Okay, okay," he chuckled, leading her out of the office that was about to stink of blood and evacuated bowels. "My devilish good looks were too much to resist, huh?"
Thena didn't chide him, at least, letting him lead her away from the mess they left inside. She merely let her lace settle in the crooks of her elbows as he led her to the elevators. "I am willing to agree if it gets us home that much faster."
Gil pointed at his office from the elevator doors, "that's gonna need a good bleaching."
"Understood sir!" his guys knew what that meant, and exactly what evidence to wash out of his area rugs.
Once they were in the elevator, away from prying eyes, Thena allowed him to nuzzle her cheek. "What an exhausting meeting."
"I barely remember anything from it," he agreed, and the way she laughed meant that he didn't need to tell her that. He kissed her cheek, "but I do remember you saying that you felt like sushi tonight."
"Something light, please," she sighed, allowing him to unravel the tight knots that comprised her business persona.
"Anything you desire, Ice Queen," Gil purred for her. He would tell her when they were home how sexy he found her whole defense of him. Maybe he could even get her to be a little pushy with him tonight.
#Ice Queen/Tyrant King AU#Thena is a badass#and Gil is a s i m p#he is king simp#he is his wife's number one fan#she said: does it hurt#Gil: oh my god oh my jesus fucking christ she's so hot holy shit god i love her oh my fuck she#Gil was ready to just be like ugh this is so annoying#maybe at most he would be like okay haha bad joke#Thena as soon as they joke about him being shot: I am going to make you shit your pants#they wanna joke about Gil almost dying?#about her biggest trauma to date#about the worst time of her life#okay sure she's going to toss a gun at you like a rock at a bunch of seagulls#(please don't throw rocks at seagulls I do not condone this)#also I don't usually bring up guns in my stuff because what am I american?#but Thena can damn well make good use of one if she really has to#she didn't have to shoot next to that guy's head#she does admit maybe that part was overboard#Gil is like baby there's a hole in my floor#Thena *shrugs*: technically I fired three shots so that's not a bad ratio
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where do i even start
#tomgreg#stay tuned for a special thing at the end#FIRST OFF CAN I JUST SAY. thinking about my own various skills and abilities tom says as he MOVES CROTCH FIRST TOWARDS GREG.#and he's just told greg his skills. he's got a big dick and fucks fast and hard. so like. there's that.#i'm either to assume he's already showed said skills off to greg and referring to it or he's literally being suggestive#either unconsciously or consciously.#also he wiggles his crotch a little. like. we get it you wanna fuck greg so bad it makes you look stupid.#ok so we've got the tom not tiptoeing around this like he did with shiv and straight up saying i'm not fucking happy#with you going off with somebody else. i don't like it. why are you happy and i'm not that's not fair.#you're mine. i'm not jealous tho haha#we've got them going through what looks like a wedding arch.#we've got them full on acting like a married couple with greg making excuses for tom and holding him back a little. acting like his wife.#we've got tom switching chiding greg for saying something and the ''don't say that!!'' and then greg agreeing#and saying that actually no tom is a lovely man. oh don't mind my husband he's just grouchy!#and then the WAY tom says you've ruined it like he's about to throw up or cry. or both.#and then greg being like ?? how i have ruined it?? and tom ''idk you just HAVE'' all petulant like#and you know what i'm gonna say. a schoolboy.#he's like thanks i hate it#it really is so much this episode. so much.#i have an idea from it of what fic i could write so there's something at least. a
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ari, i may or may not be plagued with laios thoughts so im sorry but im dragging u down with me. do u think baking with him would be fun?? (i just learned his fav food is apparently cheesecake and it got my mind running)
also!! i hope ur days been well <333 MANY KISSES MWAH
MOSS . HOW COULD YOU.
i went completely feral seeing this in my inbox btw YOU CAN’TTTTTT ENABLE ME LIKE THIS OK!!!!!!!!! I’M ALREADY SMITTEN W HIM AS IT IS 😭😭😭😭😭😭 ……………
but . sniffle . you’re a genius and ily. HE WOULDDDDD BE SO FUN TO BAKE W :(((((( i still haven’t gotten to know him completely so i’m going off the little i know + vibes + my prophetic blorbo vision BUT. i just feel like he’d eat from the batter. and get a tummyache. smh…….. butttt he also takes it very seriously!!! super seriously!!!!! so i think he could restrain himself .,…, he would look soooo cute wearing a cozy apron all covered in flour 🥺🥺 and he’s so focused on the baking . sits in front of the oven like a lil puppy so the cake doesn’t get burned….. and he’s so giddy when it’s finally time to eat. burns his tongue a lil i think 😭 but he doesn’t mind bc!!! it’s so tasty!!!! he’s so happy….
if it turns out to be a failure i think he’d get a lil depressed tho LMAO. so you have to take a big bite and coo abt how delicious it is :3 and then he feels a little better . whether you’re his s/o or friend i think he shows affection through food …. watches you dig in and just feels so content :((( wipes. a crumb from your lip. and eats it. very casually. personally i would Melt into the ground but he doesn’t understand the power he holds so he’s like . :) . completely oblivious ….. i can’t stand him (<- is so in love they can barely breathe)
AND . HIM LOVING CHEESECAKE. HE’S SOOOO FUCKING CUTE MOSS WHAT DO WE DOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭 sniffle ….. i just think he would go all 🥺🥺 if you made some for him …….. idk if he’d be the physically affectionate type or not bUT. i think he nuzzles into you like a big cat . bc he’s very thankful. and ofc he would also make lots of treats for you…… they may or may not include monsters but um . well . he did his very best so you HAVE to eat it and enjoy it sorry. that’s just how it is!!!!
#FUCKKKKKKKKK NOOOOO STOP IT POEASE GOD STOP IT 😭😭😭😭😭#MOSS I CAN FEEL MYSELF SLIPPING AWAY WHAT HAVE YOU DONEEEEE#sob …. SOB………#he’s actually the love of my life.#the love of OUR life he’s our boyfriend i think…… we might need to wife him up idk……………#THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS IN MOSS did you know that i adore you…. that i’d move mountains to see you smile ……#we’re plagued by him Together 🫂#need to be in a qpr with him so bad </3#:(((( HE’S ADORABLE WAHHHHHH#i wanna bake w him so badly he would actually be so insanely cute 🥺#moss what if. we wife up both siblings…… and bake w them both……………….. just a thought >:3#no but im actually genuinely extremely obsessed w this man 😭😭 ty for feeding me my beloved moss mwah mwah mwah!!!!!#ask tag ✩#moss !! ✩
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Btw I’ve started playing the funny stars and time game. The the one about the loopty loop and the white diamond ass shit
#the klock keeps ticking#ive looped. 7 times now i believe 👍#i did die in battle once when i made a grave error#and honestly? im kinda feeling fed up with this shit lol its notttt clicking in my brain im stressed#and i havent really CLICKED with any characters yet either like theyre fine but im not really invested yet#at least the battle mechanics are very basic lol theyre easy enough for my small bad at fighting brain#yet despite all my frustrations. i dont wanna stop playing#i want this bastard to get more depressed i can already see they got issues#rn my favorite character is probably mira cuz what can i say i have a type for smart girls who are trying their fucking best#bonnie is nice i appreciate it greatly when they boost morale and give snacks#odile is my favorite to use in battle i cling to her like a dying man#and i like her vibes i like very tired grandma with a clear bias towards bonnie#isabeau…oh its complicated#i kinda hate his face i kinda cant stand him i think im in a bitchy mood this week and this poor guy is my outlet#i DO need to kiss him like he has a very obvious crush on siffrin and i WILL be fishing that out as much as possible#so basically im gonna talk a lot of shit about him while acting like i dont care about his feelings but actually i do care so much actually#and will probably come out of this game with an isa body pillow i kiss every night#fuck you isa fuck you and your stupid dying wife pose please kiss me now
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so i have been obsessively thinking and daydreaming about intimacy being wanted being loved getting pregnant etc for the past day like plaguing my entire mind which bums me out a lot because none of that is happening any time soon so like why is my brain doing that to me
wake up to this notification
oh right yeah makes sense 🥲
#and then i saw my cousins new baby yesterday 😭 WHEN! i wanna be someones wife and baby mom so bad wtf#i obsessively track my cycle even though its irregular and something is going on i do know i ovulate bc the lil strips say i do#so it all makes sense now but 🥲🥲🥲🥲#like girl shut the fuck up no one is gonna want you like that or want that with you
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reminder GONKI IS MORE CANON 😤😏 so anytime some kg person tries to send hate at you remember it’s just cuz they’re big mad Gonki more canon eheheh 😘🤭
#IS WHY I WONT LET ANY LOSER GET ME DOWN 😤#I KNOW ITS JUST CUZ THEY ARE BIG MAD THE DIRECTOR CALLED KI WIFE AND KIS VA TAGS STUFF GONKI EHEHEH 😘🥰#Naturally sadly on the west side there’s wayyyy more kg people so I don’t mean alll of them obvi but please#on twitter- I mean x#I am like the sole person in the English gonkillu tag mostly#And these kg fans got big mad when there was dare an artist in there for a while who was popular and used gonki tag#LIKE HOW DARE THEY LOL#Losers got so mad over a tag that has hardly anything in it#SO DONT LET ANY OF THEM DRAG YOU DOWN#Most the time they’re hypocrites and losers#AND I WONT LET ANY OF THEM EVER STOP ME#🤧😤🥰#Honestly they’re free to hate it like I hate kg but the fact they go to bully an artist the moment they dare to use the gonki tag is not#Acceptable#That tag isn’t there for you#Its for us few#ANYWAY ILL ALWAYS STAND MY GROUND FOR THE GONKIS#And trust me this is no lie I’ve been harassed ive seen people leave that were gonkis I have even had friends!#open gonki people tell me they are scared to post#LIKE WHAT YOU WANNA BUT LEAVE US ALONE#And no none of them can use the excuse of “heteronormative” or whatever else they want to get away with bullying#ESP NOT WHEN THEY WILL TURN AROUND AND DO THE SAME TROPES WITH THEIR VER LOL do what you want but do not be a hypocrite to send threats#Its all fiction there’s no need to play purity police god will def let you up into heaven cuz you told me to kill myself for#Having Ki in a dress#NOT LOL! TOO BAD 😤 AND KI IS A PRETTY PRINCESS WHO DESERVES DRESSES 😤 PERIOD#I’m sure there’s been a few rotten gk people I don’t accept them as my kin either but from the few of us I do know#We’re never gone to the kg tags or go to those people’s posts and fics LIKE WHY WOULD I EVEN WANNA SEE STUFF I HATE IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE#AND YES I HAVE TWO FOLLOWERS AND NO I HAVE NO ISSUE SPEAKING OUT ESP WHEN PEOPLE I KNOW GET HARASSED SPECIFICALLY BY A KG PERSON#I WILL GIVE US A PEP TALK 😤 ITS JUST CUZ THEY ARE BIG MAD YOU KEEP DOING YOU GONKI IS CANON 😤
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HAPPY PRIDE MONTH
#just woke up so my bad if this is a jumble but HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!#i have dozens of hcs for my f/os but. man. i wanna talk about a.qua ajdhqjdhw she's my wife! we're wives!#they're the gayest <3 a.qua just makes me so happy! i've really been coming to terms w my sexuality as of late and have decided that I#really really hate labels. i'm just me and i like who i like and i dont think i owe anyone any further of an explanation#i've never been this into a woman before ajdjqjsh but goodness gracious i love it. my wife!!! my wife!!!#but yeah <3 happy pride month but also happy pride month to ash/a.qua especially#childhood friends to lovers + red/blue gay tropes go brrrr#your f/os love you all so much hehe no matter what!#ash rambles 💚#i hope everyone has a good time this month and ur so valid actually!!!#but also. i'm sleepy. going back to bed now. gn folks#happy pride!#we're gonna have a gay ass month with our gay ass f/os! woo!#also shout out to all my hcs. bi m.axi. trans d.emyx. i have a bunch and they all make me so happy hehe i'm so in love w my f/os
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This episode was better than last but it’s still fuck Ezekiel Lorenzo Reyes atp AND time!
#Mayans mc#mayans mc s5#mayans fx#mayans season 5#ezekiel reyes#Ez Reyes#spoilers!#was it really a shock that it was angel’s block head ass? no#the way I had to fold my arms and shake my head when Ez stepped up to fight that fucking yeti?!!#issac got to fucking go with his whole sob story towards coco like leave the girls alone!!#ez did creeper dirty like I wanna slap his ass so bad wtf are you doing? I’m gonna take this club to heights you’ve never seen?!#more like the depths of hell because that’s where you’re going buddy#been tired of Emily so there’s nothing to comment on there you married this man and he put your sis 6ft under?! it’s time to wrap it up#Hank is so cute! despite the crookedness of the funds I’m happy he can take care of his ma I love him#Alvarez’s wife? a baddie! but his stank ass attitude makes sense just not when it’s messing with home life ofc#the quality time with his son?! made my hug myself so cute! happy Father’s Day indeed!#yeah you can tell I enjoyed this episode lol!
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re-downloading insta, and immediately being hit by cute married lesbians and their kids, and just pure bursting into tears. i’m having a day lol
#coming back to that whole future thing#like there’s stuff i’ve wanted for as long as i can remember#and the past couple years i’ve thought i couldn’t have that anymore and resigned myself to giving up all my dreams#but now i’m revisiting stuff and trying to live my life for myself#and thinking yeah maybe i *could* have that#if you know if someone snatches me up and things work out etc#i’m not getting ahead of myself in regards to *coughs* a certain situation but yeah no i want that like just in general#the whole wife/kids thing#or at least a wife#i want a wife so bad#imagining having a wife is someone i do like a lot#like all my fantasies about the future/a serious romantic relationship has me being married#i want a wife!! i wanna be a wife!!!!#that’s like a big dream of mine#and you can go on about how marriage is bullshit and heteronormative or whatever but like sorwee i wanna be gay with my wife <3#and that’s my business x#someone scoop me up *hint hint*#anyways having a dyke moment™️#feel like being gay with someone but uhh that someone is busy :(#(i miss you btw)#gwen rambles#gwenposting
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toji’s little pregnant wife who’s only pregnancy craving is his thick, bitter cum </3
“but.. i want it..” you pester toji, tugging on his arm. you groan at the way your big, soft belly gets in the way of completely smothering the man, but it doesn’t stop you.
“no,” he grunts back, shaking his hands off as he places back the last dish from your two’s meal prior. “i can’t have y’hurtin’ yourself. i’ll never forgive myself if ya do.”
“i-it’s a craving, toji,” you joke, but truthfully you know you’re serious. looking up at him with watery eyes, you’re undeniably desperate, your plush thighs growing achy and soft cunny growing hot at the thought. “please toji, wan’ y’r cum.” you purr.
he scowls, cursing at the hard bulge that undeniably presses against the countertop. he tried his very best to deny your little pleads , that’s enough right ? if his pregnant wife really insists, wouldn’t it be right to accept so ? he wonders.
“t-toji,” you moan, like a bunny in heat.
“fuck me, princess.”
“i-i wil—“
before you’re able to finish your sentence, he’s hoists you into his arms with no trouble, making his way towards the soft couch displayed in your home’s living room. you giggle uncontrollably when he nuzzles himself against your neck, blowing soft raspberries against your skin, which has grown sensitive throughout the term of your pregnancy.
“ill jus’ finger you, how about it ? i don’t want ya on yer knees , mama.”
“no.. n-not enough.” you mumble into his chest, tugging against his ribbed tank top. “wan’ your cock. in my mouth, your cum—“
he finds it hilarious, you’re so adorable. he thinks the celibacy for the sake of your two’s baby may have have been the cause of all this attention, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.
“insatiable little dolly, aren’t you ?”
“mhm, i missed you s’much.”
“‘m right here mama.” he lays you against the soft cushion, pressing a kiss against the back of your hand.
“y’sure ya wanna do this ? y’don’t have to.” as if you were doing it for his sake. your legs ache and shiver with anticipation, already able to feel your mouth salivating at the thought. “want to, i want to !”
“shh, don’t get so worked up, now.” he chuckles, “stress is bad for the baby.” he drops the softest plushie on the ground, and leading your supple body against his lower half. you sit obediently between his legs, sore cunt throbbing erratically at the anticipation.
“take him out, dolly.” he smirks, watching you tug down his thin sweats, huffing at the stiff bulge that presses against his cotton boxers. you fumble your little fingers against his cock, nervous at how he seems to be watching you so intently, watching your each and every move, finding any reason to stop.
your breath is hot against his budge, slithering your hand against his boxer clad cock before pulling the fabric below his plump balls. he groans at the juxtaposition of your soft fingers against his meaty dick; oh how much he missed the mere sight of such.
“‘m gonna cum just like this mama.” he jokes alongside panty groans, twitching when you press your plush lips against his tip without hesitation. you envelop your warmth around his swelling cock head, pink tongue lolling out and dragging through his hefty slit.
you moan at the taste of his salty musk coating your eager tongue, hands fondling at his pudgy balls as you ease yourself further closing in on his base.
“just like that, just like that mama. yer doin’ p-perfect.” he sighs, petting your hair gently. his fingers stroke through your soft locks, curling a finger around the stray pieces that’s fallen in front of your face, and tucking them behind your ear.
“gorgeous lady, my pretty wife, hm?” he watches you fuck your own cheek with his cock, drooling unexpectedly at the overwhelming girth. “juuust like that.”
“pwah—!”
“what’s wrong , dolly ?” he mumbles with a tint of worry. he runs a thumb across your swollen bottom lip, pressing his sticky thumb back into your mouth as you eagerly suck. “‘s-s too g-gud,” you mumble. “wan’ more.”
“s all yours, darling. take yer time.”
your hot breath causes toji to twitch, shoving his cock mindlessly back into your mouth. you press your throat onto the blunt tip, hot tongue swirling around the un-cut tip.
with a few more pumps of your hot mouth assaulting his sensitive tip, he spurts a heavy load into the warmth of your mouth with soft groans, hand leading yours to jerk at the rest of his cock. “fuck, damn.” he groans breathlessly, barely visible beads of sweat crowning at his forehead.
you swirl your nut-covered tongue against his dick, making a mess. it drools down his cock, dirtying his now-soft sack, coating your plush lips in a soft creme white. toji tugs on the cushion tightly, allowing you to have your fun although he’s well beyond overstimulation and close to passing out. not from the simulation itself, but the way you look so innocent below him, yet you’re really so nasty.
definitely his wife.
“that’s it.” he watches you slowly swallow his cum, throat bulging gently every time you take a gulp; just the prettiest sight. although your mouth emptied, lips licked clean, you continue licking at his dirtied shaft, taking everything you can get.
he scruffles your hair, a light tug at your head to pull your suckling lips away from his sensitive cock. he leans down, pressing a sloppy kiss against your lips and pressing your head to close in on him. he sucks on your flavorful tongue, tasting himself. “damn, doll. really haven’t lost yer touch, huh? no wonder we’re perfect f’eachother.”
#jjk#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#fushiguro toji x reader#toji <3#toji toji toji toji#toji smut#jujutsu toji#jjk toji#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji zenin#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#toji fushiguro smut#toji x you#drabbles ⋆⑅˚₊
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oh they fr had bitchnasty sex after this
#tomgreg#I CANT BREATHE HAHAHAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa oh wow. ohhhhhhh wow. oh wow. hahahahahaaaaaaaaaa wow.#GREG REALLY SAID: YOU WANNA FUCK ME SO BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID.#the way tom goes OHHHhhhh at greg getting bold is Exactly the same tone me and my gf use with each other. just. you know. for reference.#BUT GREG'S LITTLE HEAD GESTURE BEFORE HE SAID PROVE IT LIKE HE REALLY MEANS IT?????? I GOTTA GO#also i'm sorry but they both read so fucking gay to me like so gay. esp greg in this moment. his line for comfry is so like.#it's so. like you just wouldn't do that. i think. if you were straight. I DONT KNOW I JUST FEEL A KINDRED SPIRIT IN HIM I GUESS.#''she seems like a nice.... person'' GIRL WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT AND THE PAUSE BEFORE PERSON I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.#i know what you both are.#like. fuck what else can i say about this scene. they're insane i guess????#oh btw i know for a fact tom thinks greg is the most beautiful weird ass creature he's ever seen#like you know a sea creature that's kinda weird that you'd find at the bottom of the ocean that you see in an aquarium#and you're like wow!! that's odd! but.... so beautiful#like that's greg to tom. yet he's like SHES SO PRETTY AND YOU'RE SO GROSS HAHAHA#like. i see what you're doing you fucking avocado you're like oh don't bother going after her bc you're sweet and she might actually say yes#she might like you for what i like you for and y'all might hook up and i can't be having that!!!#like he's so transparent lmfao.#how do i know tom thinks greg is beautiful?? well who else do you say would be fit to take over from your beautiful wife if she died#ALSO tom is just surprised that greg bit back he's not even like. angry? idk i feel like if anyone else said that they'd be#family guy on the floor pose#about shiv being out of his league i mean#HE EVEN LOOKED AT GREGS MOUTH WHEN HE DID THAT LMFAOOO HE THOUGHT THAT WAS HOT#GOD I HATE HIM HAHAaaaaaaahh#AND AFTER GREG SAYS PROVE IT IT JUST CUTS OFF?!??! DID YALL GO FUCK IN THE BATHROOM IM MDDDWDWKDW#ALSO IF YOU LOOK AT PREV POST/WHAT HAPPENED PREVIOUSLY. THEY TOUCHED EACH OTHER LIGHTLY DIDNT EVEN HUG.#and as i said it felt sort of like ''i don't wanna spoil your outfit we can do that later anyway when we fuck raw''#then you get this. and the cut off. so like. come on what the fuck am i supposed to think. just ignore it??#ALSO sorry. sorry. BUT TOMS FACE DURING IT ALL HES LIKE 20 YEARS YOUNGER!!!!!!! AAARRAHgh#ALSO!!!! sorry. sorry. sorry. but why are the colours the bisexual flag in the bg. why. for what reason.#tom keeps looking at gregs mouth all throughout talking about how he fucks. so fuck him. prove it pussy.
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