#wanna fine tune some of the measurements but i’m pretty happy with it!

[heckblade]

waiting on rings to come in for my other project so in the meantime i speed-assembled a little helm chain harness 🖤

[purplerose244]

I don’t care

Hi!! This is my fic for the @ninjago-valentine-exchange!! Thank you so much for organizing this, I really had fun writing this! 🥰

Special thank also to @nightlybirdie for the lovely fanart I got to respond to! It’s such an adorable little comic! 😍  I thought making a songfic about the same song you choose would have been fitting, since it really is very Lava like ❤🖤❤🖤

Here we go! Enjoy!! 😊

Summary: It's just another celebration party after all, Cole should be used to feeling left out.

Turns out, someone is very not okay with that.

Also on the AO3

We’re at a party we don’t wanna be at

Trying to talk but we can’t hear ourselves

Red your lips I’d rather kiss ‘em right back

With all these people all around I’m crippled with anxiety

 It wasn’t that Cole hated parties.

Although it wasn’t that he loved them either.

“… so thank you again, ninja!” Tipping his hat, the police commissioner finally finished his speech, one that after such a long time spent with them fighting crime and evil beings – like ten years or something? – was starting to sound vaguely repetitive. “Now, without further ado, let us begin this celebration party! To honor our saviors!” The crowd cheered, all the police members bowed at them, and it was finally time to forget about the danger and relax.

… right.

Alright, the black ninja wasn’t a party-pooper – he wasn’t never going to give Jay that satisfaction. There were of course great pros about being here after all, starting from the fact that the very reason there was such a big event in the first place was because they had saved the city once again – he needed to remind Lloyd to bring the sign ‘days Ninjago City wasn’t attacked’ back to zero. This was a celebration in their honor, a thank you for their determination and commitment and for keeping their world safe every time. He could see familiar faces into the crowd, having fun, enjoying the peace that once again so difficulty they had managed to regain.

The music was nice. Nowhere near his usual choice, and he knew he was going to grab his headphones and blast soft rock at full volume as soon as they were back at the monastery, but nice nonetheless – relaxing too… oh… oh, no, no dozing off. His friends were all there, dancing, talking, perfectly in tune with the festive atmosphere.

Oh, there was also a buffet, that was nice. It was also an extremely generous one, with tarts, sandwiches, shrimps and so on, one that could make even Zane’s nindroid mouth water. The black ninja himself had finished his recognition at the table, even though he had ended up with a glass of whatever while standing on the side of the ballroom. All he knew was that it was sparkling and slightly bitter. Not really his taste.

Nothing felt like his taste right now… but that went beyond his beverage choice.

He tried to widen his collar, for the fifth time in the last hour. He should’ve known better than borrowing a suit from his father, besides their obvious different sizes. Even beyond the blatant reality that being the master of earth pulled out muscles that a dancer just didn’t have, it was the most irritating reminder of the time he had spent trying to meet his pa’s expectations by joining a quartet. It had been a while since that matter had been solved, there was no point into sulking over it. There were more important matters ahead.

His finger went to his collar. Sixth time. Great.

Was he the only one holding on instead of having fun? Again?

One impressively loud laugh shook his from his thoughts, and he didn’t have to look to recognize Jay, near their latest used-to-be-enemy-but-now-they’re-our-pal. Great, someone must have asked what happened during their adventure, there was no way Motor Mouth would have missed the opportunity to vent – as long as his obnoxiously talkative nature didn’t bring their new friend back to the evil path. Right next Zane was showing off his dancing skills, that familiar endearing view that probably involved his famous funny switch. Or not, that nindroid was lovable no matter what after all. From the resigned but fond smirk of Pixal, leaning against the wall not far while watching the robot making a spectacle of himself, he wasn’t the only one thinking that.

Lloyd had been kidnapped by a few reporters of the NGTV, although despite the awkward atmosphere he looked like he could handle himself – which wasn’t new, man that kid was indestructible. And even though he was confident that Nya was not the biggest fan of formal clothes just like himself, like the pro she was she knew exactly how to deal both with her dress and the people crowding around her. Besides, she deserved a bit of spotlight.

His friends were having fun, that made the master of earth happy unconditionally. Although he would have liked to share that light-heartedness, or simply being willing to let himself go for once. Well, they were doing fine, he could end this and finally go home by himse-

Wait. No. Something wasn’t right.

Where was that? Where was the crowd of people getting consistently louder and more insistent the closest they got to their red hero? Where was the never-ending flirty attitude that was almost a main characteristic of the master of fire? Where was the improvised meeting of the Kai fan club happening every single time they ended an adventure, like these screaming admirers had been silently waiting for the end to end just to see their diva?

A shiver caught him. Surprise? Confusion? Relief? Cole wasn’t quite sure, he just knew that there was no massive amount of chocolate hair nowhere in the ballroom. A pinch in his chest made his back straighten up. He took the slightest sip of his drink, grimacing at the taste.

Then, someone shouldered him. Wow, silent as a ninja. Then again, it wasn’t hard at this point recognizing his teammates without looking.

Especially someone as warm as him.

“Apologies my good sir, but it looks like we’re in quite the predicament over here.” Yep, he could see Kai’s smirk in the corner of his vision, moving up his mouth with that little dimple on the corner. “This is very clearly a party-fever, non-sulking area. You better correct your behavior, or I will be forced to take drastic measures.” Kai stuck out his tongue as he cracked his knuckles, despite himself Cole couldn’t help half a laugh.

Only half, because this guy could be very irritating when trying to push his reasons on others – the cow yak predicament between him and Jay was never going to be forgotten and was actually brought up again every once in a while. Only half… because there was something mesmerizing at seeing the reckless master of fire getting cleaned up in a classy and refined suit. White immaculate shirt. Perfectly stirred jacket. That little red bow over his neck, because if this guy didn’t like to show off that red was his color on every occasion then the Overlord was a good guy.

You could say a lot about the red ninja, really a lot.

Not having style? Not between that – of course his ego didn’t need to know this.

The black ninja huffed, catching himself before he let his eyes lingering on him for too long – thank you master Wu, poor unaware sensei probably didn’t know his meditation lesson were being used to hide a crush.

“Drastic measures as kick me out? Because first, I would like to see you try.” Kai was strong, but not earth strong, thank you very much. “And second, I can leave on my own, thank you.”

Another shoulder. Much quicker than the other.

“Nah huh, this is also a very restricted non-ditching area.” Now he was cornered. Which wasn’t much because it was only Kai and his mischievous look. Also it was Kai and his mischievous look. “You either have fun and enjoy yourself, or security will escort you to prison in a conga line.”

“Really?” The hothead dared to shrug, like this made-up nonsense was a fact and these ‘laws’ were beyond him. “You don’t have to be a bringer of justice here too, just leave me be a solitary public figure for five more minutes before leaving.” A little frown moved his scarred eyebrows, which looked a little too knowing for some reason. “Besides, don’t you have a fan club to return to? I’m not seeing brown wigs twice your head moving around, that’s worrying.” A third shove, this time the black ninja let out a proper laugh. The red ninja’s hair only got crazier and crazier since they met, and it was always funny.

Endearing, too… dang it feelings!

The master of fire crossed his arms over his chest, pouting yet smiling.

“I can have a party without getting assaulted by my fans, you know? Besides, it’s been a while since we had a proper celebration, I wanna be with my team for once.” It was surprising and also very not. Kai was that much of an egomaniac, he loved the attention; but he loved his family even more, and it was true that they didn’t get much time to enjoy simply be united – trying to survive a villain while experiencing discoveries and development didn’t count as a relaxing bonding experience.

Cole gave a look at the crowd. The others were all still there.

“I’ll give you that, should we call up the others then?”

“No no no, you don’t get out of the radar that easily!” Again with the grin, what was that dangerously pretty head of his plotting? He looked focused too, it was scary. “Cut loose, will ya? You always end up in the corner at these things, you could at least pretend like you wanna be here.”

The black ninja winced.

“Gosh, you sound like my dad.” He definitely didn’t want to think about his dad in front of his crush. “We’re not all social butterflies, okay? I’m fine being myself.”

“Oh that’s not it, you’re okay. You being you is amazing.” Was that flirtatious? Was that a random compliment? Dang it, Cole had known him for too long, he couldn’t tell the difference anymore! “But whenever we get to an event like this one you always look like you would rather go back fighting and it sucks. Not being much of a party person is fine, I just want you to have some fun that’s all.” Ah. There it was. Underneath the mocking, the arrogance and the flirts, was a guy that could fire up a group of ninja with the power alone of his blatantly sincere words. Being against the next reason Ninjago City needed to be rebuilt, or while trying to give a random party some meaning. “Besides, speaking of fans, I know you have some. You could improvise a convention too.” He gestured towards him with both hands, like he was presenting him for a talk show.

The master of earth grinned. His chest felt warm, as always. Curse this guy for being cute. Curse him for being here instead of somewhere else wowing some random guest, blessing him with his company. He was right about not being together enough. Cole did miss having peaceful times with his teammate… he had missed spending time with Kai.

 But I’m told it’s where I’m supposed to be

You know what?

It’s kinda crazy coz I really don’t mind

When you make it better like that

 He took another sip. Grimacing. He shook his head.

“My fan club is nowhere near as wide as yours.”

“It’s not a challenge you know… although if it was, we all know who would win…” The red ninja flexed his arm. The jacket moved accordingly, showing off results of a training that even without involving massive rocks looked still impressive.

Cole swallowed over a sudden dry throat, only to frown.

“Huh… Lloyd?”

Kai blinked and sulked down altogether.

“Lloyd indeed.” They looked at each other and laughed.

The previous song slowly faded, a new rhythm took over. To Cole’s relief, it was something less ballet-like and more vivacious, capturing a few couple and individuals into the ballroom to enjoy the music. Jay was showing off impressive dancing skills, although him coming out of nowhere with a new ability wasn’t unheard of – roller skating, skiing, how did he even have free time to learn where he would always invent and eat junk food? Nya wasn’t too far behind, crossing path with Zane and improvising something together, laughing all the way. Lloyd was about to shake his head with a snicker and step away, only to have Pixal push him in with a little grin.

It was so peaceful. Them having fun, enjoying themselves, doing something other than risking their own lives and protect the land. They were the moments the black ninja loved the most.

Kai was humming himself, smiling just as widely. Cole chuckled warmly.

“You look like a very proud father.”

The red ninja arched an eyebrow and smirked.

“Wouldn’t you like that, honey.” Oh dang it, was he for real?! Was that a flirt?! Was that a little blush or for the master of fire having red over him was as natural as igniting flames?? Was he going somewhere with this, help, abort, something, anything! “We should chime in and join Zane and Jay, make a reprise of the Blade Cup Tournament! I remember the choreography still, bet we could show it to Nya, Lloyd and Pixal too.” Alright, never mind, false alarm… possibly, again, it was confusing.

Cole took another sip. It possibly tasted worse at every try, he didn’t even know why he was holding the glass still. At least he looked refined… or something.

“No way, I’m not going through that again.”

“Oh come on, I thought you got over your dancing complex with the Triple Tiger Sashay.” Kai shrugged, looking at him right into the eyes. “You dance good too, it’s a waste.” Was he in vain of compliments today or he was silently mocking him through an elaborated plan?

… nah, he wasn’t one to make complicated plans. He was a pretty face, and an airhead.

Cole shrugged.

“I don’t mind dancing, not as much as I used to at least. I even like it nowadays.” Having a hobby besides saving Ninjago was kind of important to not completely lose it – and playing videogames became a little too competitive once Jay or Lloyd got in the zone. “But it’s a little too connected to what my dad used to expect me to be and sometimes I don’t wanna even brush that thought.” They were good now, of course they were. But they spent time apart because of it. It was still hard to think about it. “… I don’t like to think that it would’ve been easier to just bear and go on. It makes me wonder what I would have become in that case, through tedious dancing lessons and failures.” Wow, his insecurities were put under a test, and there was no menace in sight for once.

Urgh, nope, not tonight, not after the mess they had been forced to fix for their city. Tonight it was about feeling light, thoughtless and happy. He needed a joke, a mockery, something, and while their official jokester wasn’t available Kai was the next best thing.

Any moment now… any moment now…

… okay now he was deliberately teasing him with those pretty eyes of his. He looked even sappy now, their shoulders were touching. He was so warm.

“It’s… kind of a scary thought, you know. Thinking of a you in a reality in which we haven’t met.” He smiled, one enigmatic, slightly worried smile that Cole couldn’t remember to have seen before. “But master Wu would’ve found you anyway, right? I don’t want to think of a world where we don’t know each other.” Because he was a precious teammate of his. “That’s not right in my head, I kinda hate it really.” Because they were too close as friends to even conceive it. “I’m just happy to have the strong, kind, incredible Cole by my side for this life.” Because he… cared. Because Kai cared about all the people in his life, all the precious members of his family.

That included him. As a… as…

The master of fire was staring at him, lips pressed tight together, burning cheeks and glimmering eyes. His face radiated heat, beyond the temperature itself; it was like an image so hot it got blurry, yet the beauty of it was nitid and flawless.

Cole was mesmerized. Then he slowly took a step back from his condition, finding the energic music fading away around them, and the red ninja still froze with his eyes on him.

It made him smile.

Having his attention always made him smile.

“Oh my gosh, it’s Kai!!” Because it wasn’t for granted and it wasn’t as easy as it was, back when they had started their legend as the ninja team. Now they were celebrities, and having a group of fans jumping excitedly in front of the brunette was ordinary administration. “Kai! You’re so cool, thank you for saving us again! You are our favorite ninja, can we get a picture? And a photo? Possibly both, if you can!” There were a couple of girls, one guy and a kid jumping from one foot to the other. All looking at ease and confident with their dresses and manners, addressing one of the heroes of this island.

Huh. The party had started to get nicer a few minutes ago, now it was back at being dull. Awkward. Uneasy. Solitary. Once again the too tight suit became very vivid, especially around his arms and chest. Once again the music, that had gone back at being slow and classic, got at his nerves. Once again he was being a spectator, looking at the scene like it was airing on television.

Kai was smiling naturally, he was more than used at that kind of attention. But his eyes were quick at focusing on him, and another little frown moved his forehead.

“Thanks for the support guys, but I’m a little busy right now…”

Cole rolled his eyes. He hated pity, so much. It felt like a slap right now.

“No you’re not idiot, come on, show your fans some respect. They get to see you without the city falling apart for a change!” The group nodded eagerly, eyes brightening the room. The red ninja wasn’t looking at them, his eyes were fixed on his teammate and it was even more irritating. “I’ll be at the buffet if you need me, have fun.” He looked hurt. What right did he have to get hurt? From what even? The master of earth was the one casted aside, for a change!

He walked away from the scene, losing Kai’s voice between excited shouts and squeaks from the group. Like that was new, it was always the serious, uncharismatic, downer of the team the one getting less recognition. He had known that when he had met this band of crazy people that he had started to call family. He had known that when Lloyd had taken charge and lead them towards one victory after the other. He had known that when Nya had been called into action, showing off once and for all that she was the real deal. There was always someone before him, brighter, to capture the attention. Being a robot, being an inventor, being the most handsome guy in existence…

… and it was fine.

Cole wasn’t stupid not unrealistic. He knew who he was, he knew his skills and his pros. He knew there were many people cheering for him too, he knew that Ninjago City loved him. Having less focus didn’t mean he wasn’t going to do his best to give back that support. But moments like these made him feel like it was unfairly easy to be pushed away in favor of something better. This really wasn’t what he was used to. The party, the attention… him.

It wasn’t about the attention after all. It was about feeling inadequate. Unlike others, he wasn’t born for the attention. Others were ready to burn to catch everyone’s eyes through their beauty. Cole only wished the difference wasn’t always this upsetting.

The guests were walking around him as he passed through. He didn’t actually want to go back to the table, he had simply said the first thing that had come to his mind – with that one girl so close to Kai thinking had been very difficult. Then the police commissioner had called the attention upon the impressive cake that was being brought in by a carrier. Shaped like the monastery, with their faces on the base. Wasn’t he the absolute dessert lover that he was, he might have found the cake too cute to even attempt a bite. Then again he really was, which was no secret at all. The chief of the police department was more than happy to give him the first slice.

White chocolate and blueberries. He hated himself for being so irritated, he would have wanted to enjoy his cake without bothering images into his head. He knew it wasn’t that big of a deal. Whenever there was a party, his mind just liked to remind him how uncomfortable he felt. It was only a matter of waiting for it to be over. Then he could share a bag of candies with Lloyd, or pull some weights with Nya, or meditate with Zane, or train with Pixal, or destroy Jay at videogame. Or do anything, absolutely everything, that involved spending time with Kai.

Just for the sake of having him near… ah, dang it, feelings again!

He swallowed a bit harshly, all of the sudden he couldn’t have more. The slice was half eaten – yeah he liked to have that big of a first bite –, and even after spending the night munching over those little snacks that couldn’t contain more than one or two calories each. He felt full. He couldn’t even enjoy his dessert now, might as well leave before anyone noticed him. He had planned on leaving much earlier so it wasn’t a problem.

Cole looked down at that forsaken drink, arching an eyebrow. Maybe it was good with sweets? Maybe that was what made it good? He drank, grimaced and grunted. He moved to put the drink on the table once and for all.

A quick ninja hand snatched the glass. A second later it was emptied.

“Finally, you were driving me crazy with this thing!” Kai, smiley and innocent, almost knocked down another glass as he let the empty one fall over the table. “All night sipping and hating!”

The black ninja’s mind was empty. From nothingness, only one doubt emerged.

“… you’ve been watching me?”

 Don’t think we fit in at this party

Everyone’s got so much to say

When we walked in I said “I’m sorry”

But now I think that we should stay

 That wasn’t probably the question to ask, no matter how much the master of earth was stubborn over the idea that nothing was a big deal at the moment. Something like ‘what are you doing here’ would have sounded out of place though, and teasing directly about what happened to his fan club didn’t sound better. Besides, the handsome master of fire finished his drink putting those perfect lips right where Cole’s had been just a second ago, and the black ninja’s strategic leader brain that had many times got him out of a bad situation wasn’t working.

Or maybe it was? There were very few things that could really, actively melt his heart like this. The red ninja’s blush was one of them. It had to have something to do with his element, the reddening was absolute and total. Like watching a thermometer reaching the maximum.

“J-Just a little! One or two times!” Liar, Cole had been doing this sip and regret thing all evening. The thought alone was an injection of giddiness. “Not up for cake? That’s new.”

Oh. He felt a little more in vain for cake. Two bites later it was done.

“I was taking a breath.” It was easier with him around. Did he know that? “You’re done with the fans? That was quick.” Kai huffed with superiority, but the black ninja was no fool: he could see the girl from before sighing a little, like she didn’t get nearly as much red ninja as she had been expecting. “You didn’t have to leave them behind for me.” That came out exactly as badly as he thought it. Why did he say it anyway? Why was the master of fire this shocked and fearful? “Kai I’m not some special case that you have to take care of, you know that. You don’t have to hang around me just because.” Huh. It came out like that.

Huh. Kai looked one with his element, burning from his forehead to his neck, looking almost sunburned. Adorable. So adorable, even while Cole was waiting for whatever was going to come from this situation. Which was, beyond his expectations, the red ninja’s rough and long hand slowly reaching for his, holding it tight.

Warm, so warm, so unfairly warm.

“I… I hang out with you because I want to. I want you to have fun because I…” He swallowed, hardly, and it felt like a light was switched on in the black ninja’s mind. “… I like when you have fun. When you s-smile, too.” It was so different from the usual flirty attitude that this guy used. It would have sounded like a mockery to any other. “I like being where you are too, that’s all I need… I-I mean it!” But Cole knew this guy, he knew him too well not to know that flirting was a show.

This awkward, embarrassed, red gorgeous person was the real deal. One that came out only when the time was right, and the person was right.

Cole was right. He was… right?

“I… I don’t know what to say.” He really didn’t and it was the worst possible answer. But it was true. What did you say to someone you harbored feelings for that showed interest back towards you? Thanks? Same here? I love you?? It was true but it was out and everything felt unnecessary and uneasy again.

The hold tightened. Kai was still blushing, but he was smiling with that special energy into his eyes. The one that usually meant a very bad plan coming, or one heck of an idea.

“No need. Just come with me.” Not like he could resist him right now.

Right on cue the music had changed, slowing down. The master of earth had a suspicion the one holding his hand was behind this – not like bribing Dareth currently at the console was particularly hard, especially with a couple of Puffy Potstickers in hand. Then again, the one holding his hand was this handsome fella that was leading him towards the center of the ballroom, between fanciful people and a couple of eyes in awe at seeing their heroes there. It was easier to ignore the comparison, the feeling of inferiority, while feeling Kai’s fingers clenching around his palm, shaking firmly. It was cute. So very cute. Cole could barely see in front of himself between all these people, yet it felt like nothing was really shouldering him as he passed through.

There were lights above them. Were they always there? Cole didn’t notice before, which was silly since it was all dark outside. His head was lighter, he didn’t have control over his strength even if he had wanted to break free from that hold. He didn’t. Not when the red ninja had that familiar determination making his entire body tense. Not while he turned around, smirking.

Still blushing. Still holding his hand. The master of earth looked down. Two pairs of feet staring at each other. Memories of the dance lessons came flooding back.

He looked up. Those glimmering embers made it much better.

“You brought me here to dance?”

“Impeccable deduction, Rocky.”

“Do you even know how? Dancing in couple is not the same as in a group, and we both know you have awful balance.” It was the only thing that made him regret throwing the battle against Jay back at the tournament of elements: losing the possibility of seeing this klutz making a fool of himself on roller skates. Confident Kai? Goofy and charming. Energic Kai? Attractive and brave. Angry Kai? Literally hot. But man, clumsy, adorably unsteady Kai? A wholesome force strong enough to break every single mountain he had ever climbed in his life.

The master of fire huffed with superiority, which was already promising. Around them a few couples were getting together, slowly moving with the rhythm.

“Please, I defeat evil lurking behind our backs on regular basis. I can handle a dance.” His eyes went down on his feet, while he unsurely grabbed his other hand. “You just gotta work with me, first you move the left… right… no left, left!” Left went right over his partner’s foot, and it was gone right away ironically almost as it got burned. “D-Don’t laugh, I got this!” Screw everything, the master of earth was very glad Ninjago had been in peril just to arrive at this specific moment.

Ah, but he was the responsible one, wasn’t he? Snickering right in front of the brunette’s face while he was doing his dang best at not stomping onto his feet would have not been very mature.

… continuously at least, he could take one giggle.

No one could call one giggle immature. Or two.

“I can hear my father’s pleas from here.”

“Shut up, I’m getting there! Right foot, sorry, then left…” Wow, it was almost impressive considering Cole had managed to see him before almost gracefully practicing spinjitzu with them. Then again, it was so like him it hurt. “There there’s the… huh… casket?” Oh dear, he meant the casque? Yep, definitely good pa wasn’t here. The black ninja almost blacked out he was laughing so much – pun not intended –, wiping away a single tear. Then he looked up, embers were staring. So focused and bright they were too much to look at. Kai grinned. “At least your smile is back.” The softest curve ever.

It was impossible not to look at it. It was baffling how many people were attracted to the master of fire solely for appearance and superficial charm. Yet this part, this tender side of him was the most lovely part. The most hidden too, reserved only to those who got close enough to the fire to get burned, without regretting a single moment.

Cole giggled again, stepping forward. Automatically he took charge, assuming the position that had been sculptured into his mind by years of dance lessons. Kai’s hand was still shaking as he took it, his eyes were trembling too. It made the black ninja smile more.

“It’s easy to smile when I’m with you.” Another incredible thing about this guy, it made all the people around him more confident. Stronger. Him included.

Kai gaped. He stuttered, looking down, up, at him and not.

Then he sighed, whining weakly.

“I was trying to properly confess, Boulder Brain.” It would have been such a shameless, anticlimactic moment for anyone. Gosh if it hadn’t dissolved all the anxious anticipation the black ninja had. “Why did you have to one up me right now?” Maybe it wasn’t only Kai that made him feel this at ease, maybe it wasn’t only them knowing each other so well. Maybe there really was one and only, for life, and the master of earth knew it by instinct.

A pretty good instinct too.

Cole grinned, stepping closer because dang if this didn’t feel immensely good.

“Force of habit, you’re just that slow.” Dang if this easiness between them wasn’t the most comfortable feeling he had ever felt. “You should really put your mind into training a little more, prove that you can keep up with me, Fireball.”

Music was changing, people were moving, the party was continuing and neither of them was looking anymore. Who cared anyway? What was important right now?

Warmth was.

Kai’s hand on his cheek was. Kai’s softened eyes on him were.

“I can do that. You know I never quit in front of a challenge.” One blink of an eye later, their noses were brushing. Another blink, their breaths were caressing each other’s lips. One last, the master of fire turned that kind of serious. The one that put everything on the table, because he considered a moment that important. “… I hate when you ditch a party.” Cole held together a little gulp. “And it’s not about you not being a party person, or wanting you to have fun, or even for you to get the credit you deserve. It is in part, but it’s not all.” He smiled, his thumb tracing gently his cheek, so very careful with him. Him, the lifter of their team. Him, the mighty master of earth. Him, the one that could manifest an earthquake with a punch. “It’s just that I miss you every time. You make everything better for me… I want to be with you as much as I can.”

It was never about that after all. It was never about who he was or what he represented, for either of them. It was just about two guys, two friends that had been lucky enough to get closer to each other reciprocally. In comparison to this, everything felt so meaningless.

The room was empty, the music was gone. It was just them.

Cole closed his eyes.

“You could convince me that parties are cool, you know. Then I won’t ditch anymore.” His closeness, his heat, his presence. The black ninja wanted to take in everything about this moment and never letting go. “I feel like I’m on the right path right now…” Wow, they weren’t even together yet and his flirty tendencies were already rubbing on him. Was he really that gone already for not minding it one bit?

Ah, who cared, Kai was so close he could hear him swallow. His thumb was still shivering, and it made his heart flutter. Then he laughed, low and sincere.

“Let’s see if I can be convincing.” He whispered.

Kissing the red ninja was exactly how he had imagined. It was warm, a little clumsy, so very sincere and vigorous. It reflected how he moved, how he acted, how he fought, how he protected. Yet it was nothing like he thought. It was so sweet it made his eyes pinch, it was delicate and even a little uncertain. It was him on the inside, the him that didn’t always want to make an impression, the him that had so much love to give to his most precious ones. It was him. In every possible way, it was him.

Cole smiled, kissing back, holding onto him as he was held back.

He liked parties. And he loved Kai.

 ‘Cause I don’t care when I’m with my baby, yeah

All the bad things disappear

And you’re making me feel like maybe I am somebody

I can deal with the bad nights

When I’m with my baby

[imnotwolverine]

LOVE IS LIKE - Women and Wine

< PART 2 | PART 3 Women and Wine

Summary: Things don’t always go as planned. But Henry has learned that’s quite alright. If anything, it may just make you closer to loved ones. Also, the banana sock wearing princess is her clumsy-as-ever self. 

Word count: 2.178

Disclaimer: Breakup, teenage insecurity, fluff and wet dicks. I mean. In the fluffy awkward sense of the word. 

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LOVE IS LIKE - Women and Wine

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‘So far for an outdoor date.’ Aurora scrunched up her nose and looked down at Kal who didn’t pay any mind to the drizzle, nose sniffling through some bushes.

‘Sorry..’ Henry pouted, making her laugh.

‘You know, my apartment isn’t far from here. We can dry off, have some tea? I mean..’ She hesitated, looking back to Henry who got a particularly large drop of rain in his eye.

‘Mmpfff.’ He groaned, wiping furiously at his eye.

‘OH! Are you alright?’

Kal looked up and Henry chuckled. ‘So your initial reservations of not wanting to meet at someone’s place are...gone?’

She shrugged. ‘Drastic times, drastic measures. Come on!’

Kal yapped in agreement and Aurora laughed heartily, the heaven’s cold tears of rainwater not bothering her one bit.

‘Why..?’ The woman who had once kept his heart sobbed, thick tears rolling down her sweet cheeks. Henry swallowed as he clutched her hand a little tighter, her whole body shaking with agony. With every tear on her face he was less sure if he made the right decision.

‘Why don’t you love me?’ Her wine-red lip trembled. ‘Did I..’ She sniffed and burst into another onslaught of tears. Henry sighed quietly. Why did love have to be so hard? With a quick glance he looked at Kal who was lying in the corner of the living room, careful eyes looking back at his owner after he had been told off by the woman - the two had never quite gotten along.

Perhaps that had been a sign.

Henry waited for his mom to pick up the phone. It was Sunday, it was raining in London and he had nothing better to do then..

‘Hello dear.’

‘H-hi mom.’ Henry quickly clicked back to the flower webshop on his browser.

‘Are you alright dear?’

Henry laughed - even after all these years his mother was straight to business when her children called. ‘Mommm…’

‘What?! You never call so early in the day. I can remember the days when you called every hour of..-’

‘Mom, I’m fine.’

‘Alright alright. So there’s nothing the matter?’

‘Nothing. Or well, I just wanted to check if you’re home on Thursday, so your package won’t get lost like last time.’

‘Oh.. OH! Mother’s day. Henry sweetie. You know you don’t have to buy me flowers every year.’

‘And yet I do it anyway, mom.’

Marianne laughed before the line crackled, her voice hushed as she spoke to someone else - probably his father. ‘Alright. Oh! You are too good for me! Also, Colin’s at home. I’m picking up Nick’s cat, since they’re going on a holiday. So no lillies please!’

‘Noted.’ Henry stared at the pictured bouquet on his screen and smiled. 100 roses. ‘No lilies, got it.’

With a confirmative nod he pressed “order”.  

‘And say hi to dad for me!’

Awkwardly tugging at the far too tight and strange looking noose of a knot around his neck, young Henry waited for his father to answer his phone. Nerves were tickling his loins and the more he looked back at the reflection in the mirror, the redder he seemed to get. He had seen his father tie a tie a million times, and yet doing it himself left him suffocating and disappointed in his own abilities.

‘Henry boy.’ His father’s low voice crackled through the bad phone line. He was probably abroad right now.

‘Pa..’ Henry tugged at the tight material around his slim neck.

‘How’s it hanging, hmm?’ -- Colin tried his best to stay hip and cool, but it only made conversations between him and his sons more awkward. Henry silently rolled his eyes.

‘Ehm…’ He cleared his throat, wishing that for once his voice wouldn’t get pitchy mid-sentence. ‘I--’ He pulled at his tie again and managed to let the knot slide out like it had never been there at all. ‘I need your help dad.’

‘Something the matter? Henry, you know you can ask Mr. Mindel for help.’

‘Yea well..eh..I want to learn it myself.�� He squared his shoulders as he looked at his mirror reflection again.

‘And what is..”it” exactly?’ A mix of mirth and pride was heard in his father’s voice.

‘A tie. I’m..I’m trying to get this stupid thing on and ..’ Henry voice got pitchy and unleveled again and he groaned in annoyance.

Colin chuckled and hushed his teenage son. ‘Alright alright. First step..’

With a trained tug at the knot, Henry released the silk tie from his neck. Perhaps it had been a bit over-the-top to wear a suit and tie when going out for lunch and walk Kal with Aurora. But Henry just couldn’t help himself. These clothes just made him feel powerful and secure. Like a modern day armor, shining, sleek and - right now - also terribly uncomfortable and wet.

They had been caught by one of London’s infamous rain showers and had been soaked to the bone. Suit included.

Removing his tie, Henry let his eyes glide over Aurora’s cosy but luxurious apartment, Kal trotting behind Aurora as she ducked into one of the closets in the hallway to fetch some fresh towels.

‘You want one as well, hmm?’

Henry looked up and noted that she wasn’t talking to him, but Kal, the dog happily wagging his tail as he pushed his nose in the fresh towels in her hands. She laughed.

‘Alright then.’ With a quick swoop she pulled another towel from the closet before bumping it closed with her hip, offering one of the towels to Henry who accepted it graciously.

‘Shall I see if there’s some clean clothes that ..fit...you?’ She looked him up and down, obviously unsure whether ANYTHING would fit the colossal form of bulking muscle that was Henry. Henry shrugged.

‘I’ll keep this on if you don’t. Don’t worry.’ He smirked perhaps a bit too temptingly.

They both laughed and Aurora turned around before he could see the blush on her smiling cheeks.

Left alone in the hallway, Henry dried his face and hair, removed his jacket and sauntered over to the living area, which reminded him in a strange way of the 70s decor of some other woman’s home. Letting his eyes glide over the furniture he smiled; large leather couch with a bounty of pillows, Pilea pancake plants, the tiniest tv he probably had seen in his long life and then on the long wall on his right, one absolutely hu-freaking-mongous bookcase.

Turning his attention to said bookcase, he let his eyes roam over the more empty shelves, finding a book he knew well; it once had been his. But there was also her copy. The berry juice ruined one. King Arthur and His Knights. With curiosity Henry opened her berry ruined book, not sure what to find there other than exactly the same exact text. His eye fell on the personal note that was scribbled on the inside. Apparently it had been gifted to her.

‘To the woman who “doesn’t need no knights in shining armour”. Andy.’

‘I eh..oh!’ Aurora shrivelled away as she found Henry. Henry quickly shut the cover of the book, near stumbling back as he tried to apologise for snooping around.

‘I’m sorr-’

‘Sorry!’ She looked away. 

‘No I’M sorry, truly.’

‘No.’ Aurora shook her head and her voice sounded terribly queasy. ‘I’m sorry. Here. Hope it fits.’ She pushed a pile of what looked like a white shirt and jogging pants in Henry’s arms with a quick little glance in Henry’s blue eyes.

Did he fuck it up? Looking with a pained expression at the soft white and grey fabrics in his hands he sighed, forgetting all about his wet clothes and the way a little stream of water was running straight into his butt crack right this instant.

‘I didn’t mean to..snoop.’ He tried, but Aurora shied away even further, making a clear demonstration of turning away from Henry.

‘Aurora? Will you forgive me please?’

Aurora nodded with her head still firmly turned away.

‘Will you at least look at me?’

And then, with the slowest of head turns in human history, one beet red head looked back at him, lips biting to keep a chuckle at bay. Henry frowned, before realising that he had completely, utterly miscalculated the situation. She was not mad at him, she was.. With a slight slip Aurora’s eyes moved back down - before quickly shooting back up and away. So that was it huh? She was trying to look anywhere but to the very clear outline of his …

Dick.

--

So this is why men don’t partake in wet T-shirt contests.

‘Oh my gods!!--’

‘It’s like sugar--’

‘TURN IT OFF.’

‘So sweet.’

‘HEN.’

‘Good enough..’

‘HENRY.’

‘..to eat.’

Grumbling a hand appeared from beneath the fluffed up blankets, searching blindly for the phone that was blaring out happy tunes into the dark bedroom. In the background a shower was heard, Henry totally oblivious to his very displeased bedbug.

Turning off the hot stream of water, Henry wrapped himself in a towel, hair dripping wet as he brushed a hand over his cheek to check if it could do for the moment. Geralt could have a little stubble right? He grinned at himself in the mirror and made for the bedroom, silent feet padding to reach for his gym gear like he did every morning.

‘Baaaabeeeeeee.’ A groggy voice that in no way fit his pretty girlfriend erupted from the sheets. Henry halted his tiptoeing.

‘Your phoneeeeeee.’

‘OH! oh.. Sorry.’ Henry bit his lip as the groggy voice mimicked in horrid echo:

‘All I wanna do is get ye

Body next to mineeee.’

Henry chuckled as the sheets folded back a little so a grabby hand could reach for him.

‘Haha..oh why love, I’m WET.’

‘AS AM I. Now get in here.’ The blindly grabbing hand searched like a needy worm for anything it could attach to, making Henry chuckle even harder.

She truly was atrociously cute in the morning. With a quick flip of the hand he managed to slip back under, making the room echo with a loud squirming squeak.

‘HENRY.. YOu!’

The both of them laughed.

With a little kick in his step Henry stepped into his parent’s kitchen, the rural stone tiled room filled with the smell of fresh baking pastry and female chatter.

‘A rose..’ He pulled one of his hidden away hands from behind his back to offer a rose to his mother. ‘For my dear mom.’

Marianne chuckled and rolled her eyes at Henry’s antics, before smiling even wider when the other hand served an even prettier rose to the brunette with the princess name. Aurora snorted out with laughter.

‘YOU DORK!’

Henry gasped in mock-hurt and grasped for his chest. ‘My heart, my love! Why must thee hurt it so.’

Aurora stepped in and pressed a little kiss on Henry’s pouting lips. ‘For love cometh of the heart and not by constraint.’ She smiled and smelled the rose ‘..for love is free.’

Marianne chuckled. ‘Well it’s from the garden, so I guess it’s free. Can you call your dad for me? Lunch is almost ready.’

‘Why of course I can mother dear!’

Marianne widened her eyes, urging him to move on. Henry laughed and winked at Aurora before he made his way to the back of the house.

‘These men of ours. They wouldn’t know what to do without us.’

Aurora leaned into the kitchen counter and smiled. ‘It takes a lot to make a man. Tis true. But I do think Henry is a man enough on his own.’

‘You do?’

‘You raised him well you -- all of you did.’

‘Two books?’ Aurora frowned as she pulled the books from their pretty packaging. Henry was beaming with a smile from ear to ear.

‘The same exact..books?’

Henry nodded eagerly.

‘Hen..I know I might be a little clumsy, but…’

‘Nooo no. I thought..’ He scooted a little closer to her on the couch, making Kal grumble who had just found the perfect spot atop Henry’s feet. ‘I thought we could read together. On the plane? It’s a long way to Canada.’

Aurora flipped open the cover of the book on top, shrugging that Henry might have a point, before letting her eyes roam over the little note written in the inside of the cover page.

‘Careful with that berry juice, princess. x. Henry’

‘Youuu…’ Aurora moved to jab at Henry, but he managed to reflect her hand with practised ease.

‘Me?’ He grinned.  

‘Oh yes you.’

‘What about me?’ His smile grew wider.

Aurora shook her head then sighed in defeat. ‘Alright then. You win.’

‘I win?’ Henry acted overly victorious and smug.

Aurora’s smile melted away. ‘I..’ She swallowed. ‘-I think I love you. I wanted to say it when I meant it an--’

Henry’s smile dropped as well, eyes widening.

‘You..? You mean..’

‘You have to kiss me now okay? I mean..that’s what princes do when..--’

Henry didn’t skip a beat. 

And good gods did they kiss a lot. 

--

Also: good gods, who in their right minds places red wine on the edge of the couch seating with a pristine looking book like that nearby? Let’s just say the plane ride to Canada only had one copy of Pride & Prejudice - The Illustrated Edition on-board. 

--

End. 

--

General tagsquad: @harrysthiccthighss​ @tumblnewby @magdelen69​ @thereisa8ella​ @darkbooksarwin​ @summersong69​ @madbaddic7ed​ @luclittlepond​ @maroonmolly @just-a-normal-fangirl18​ @hell1129-blog​ @agniavateira​ @tillthelandslide​ @elinesama​ @maddyreads14​

@beck07990

[vintagedolan]

heyyy, how about if you’re going on dates w grayson and he tells you he’s a single dad and has a daughter! and introducing you to her 🥺

big oof this one GOT ME and I got carried away, enjoy!!!

You weren’t bored, but it was seeming more and more like he was. Fidgeting with the hem of your dress under the table, you watched him type furiously on his phone, attention devoted entirely to whatever was so consuming. It was your fifth date with Grayson, and he’d always had his phone close by, but never like this.

“Am I boring you?” You asked, a bit more sass in your tone than you really intended. 

“What? No! No, no not at all, it’s- um... well,” he mumbled, obviously unsure of what to say. “I just have a... situation, that I need to figure out.”

“You wanna elaborate on that?” You asked, confused. You watched him battle with himself for a moment, debating on saying what he was about to say.

“My daughter’s sick. She’s with the babysitter, and apparently she’s running a fever. I need to get home, I’m really sorry.” 

Only one real word of that registered.

“Daughter? You have a daughter?” 

“This wasn’t how I wanted to tell you. Shit. I’m sorry, I’ll pay for your uber and everything, this isn’t at all how I wanted this to go, I swear I was gonna tell you, tonight actually-”

“Gray, Grayson, slow down. It’s alright, I get it. But an uber is gonna cost you a fortune from here, why don’t we just go back to your place and I can get a ride from there.” You tried to calm him down a bit, already rising from your seat. 

“I... uh...”

“I don’t have to go inside, I totally understand if you don’t wanna tell her you were on a date. But it’ll save you about $50 bucks.” You knew that the money didn’t really matter to him, but in all honesty you just wanted to spend a little more time with him if you could. 

“Okay. Yeah, okay. Let’s go.” He casually dropped a hundred bucks on the table and reached for your hand, leading you out of the restaurant, down the stairs and to the car. Glancing in the backseat as he backed out of the parking space, you couldn’t help but notice that it was entirely empty. 

“No carseat?” You asked. Even in the dim glow of the dashboard lights, you could see his blush.

“Wasn’t sure it would be the best wingman on a date. It’s in my garage at home,” he admitted.

“I bet the base is a bitch to take in and out of here,” you mused. 

“Oh god, it’s actually awful. Wait... you don’t... do you?”

“No, I don’t have kids. Just been around them a lot. What’s your daughter’s name?”

“Raleigh. She’s two and a half, and spoiled rotten,” he added, shaking his head a bit as he started down the road. 

“Oh, I bet you had nothing to do with that,” you teased, rolling your eyes. Based off how he’d treated you thus far on your dates, you knew he gave his daughter the world and more.

“I blame her uncle Ethan, or her grandma. Girl has more outfits than I have space for in my house,” he chuckled. There was a happiness in his voice you hadn’t heard yet, a pride he got from talking about her. 

“Is her mom still in the picture?” 

“No. She left when she was about 6 months, said it was too much. We rushed into things, I was too excited to be a parent I think, and she just wasn’t ready. I got full custody pretty soon after that, so she’s all mine now. It’s hard, but I wouldn’t change it for anything.”

“Well, she sounds like the luckiest girl in the world,” you smiled. Pictures were running through your head now of Grayson as a dad, holding a little curly haired girl in his arms, rocking her, playing with her down on the floor. It was the most flattering light you could see him in.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I just - I really, really like you, and I didn’t want to scare you off,” he mumbled, nerves back in his voice.

“I get it Gray. But hey, I don’t scare that easy. Kids are cool,” you shrugged. Sure, you weren’t expecting this at all, but it wasn’t going to do any good to freak out over it now - that would only hurt Grayson. You’d at least give it a shot, see how you felt. So when he reached over to take your hand you let him, squeezing back in reassurance that you weren’t going anywhere just yet. 

When you got back to the house, he parked beside an unfamiliar car - the babysitter’s, you realized - and came around to help you out. 

Just as you were about to offer to wait outside, he spoke up.

“Would you wanna come in? If she’s feeling any better she’ll probably go right to sleep, and we could still hang out. It’s totally okay if you don’t want to, I would understand, but-”

“I’d love to meet her,” you smiled, taking his hand and letting him lead you to the house. Your heels clicked on the concrete as you approached the front door, waiting for him to unlock it. 

You stepped inside when he held the door open, immediately comforted by the homey vibe of the house. It was mostly minimalist - white walls and dark wood broken up by the arrangement of toys scattered around. 

It wasn’t until the babysitter came around the corner that the attention shifted. 

“Molly, hey, sorry about all this, she was totally fine all day. Must be a stomach bug,” he was saying, but you were just looking at the little girl in her arms. Raleigh was smaller than you’d expected her to be, her little frame wrapped up in footie pajamas adorned with little rainbows. She was a spitting image of Grayson, her features just a bit softer than his - dark hair curling around her ears and her neck. 

You watched as he quickly got the cash out to pay her, passing it to her and then immediately reaching for his daughter, as if he couldn’t wait another minute to have her in his arms. 

“Hey pumpkin. I missed you. Yeah, you don’t feel so good, hmm? You’re burnin’ up,” he was cooing, immediately slipping into dad mode, your heart melting into a puddle at the sight. She curled up into his neck, hugging onto him as she sucked on her pacifier - but her eyes were trained on you, even as Molly waved goodbye and left. You waved at her softly, not wanting to scare her.

“Raleigh this is Y/N, she’s daddy’s friend. Can you say hi?” 

She lifted a tiny hand to wave at you, and then she pointed, mumbling something behind her pacifier.

“Blue? Yeah, her dress is blue, you’re right,” Grayson praised, somehow understanding her.

You weren’t sure who was more surprised - you or Grayson - when Raleigh reached out for you with both arms, asking you to hold her. 

You didn’t hesitate, scooping her up and placing her on your hip. She started to run her little hands over the fabric of your dress, occasionally squeezing it in her fist.

“She never goes that easily to people, it took her a month to even look at Molly without crying,” Grayson said.

“Well, I guess I’ve got the magic touch,” you said, somehow immediately summoning karma down on top of you for your tiny little ego boost.

There was only a retching sound of warning, and then you could feel hot liquid going down your chest.

“She just puked on me didn’t she.” It wasn’t a question - you didn’t even have to look to know exactly what happened.

“Holy fuck. Holy fuck I’m so sorry,” Grayson was more than flustered, but he hadn’t moved in the slightest. It wasn’t until Raleigh started wailing that either of you moved. 

“Hey, hey it’s okay, it’s alright,” you murmured, trying to comfort her, all your attention moved to her. When you looked, she was covered in her own puke, face red as she screamed. You turned, heading down the hallway, checking doors until you found a bathroom. It was all instinct and babysitting experience after that.

You calmed her down as best you could, stripping her out of her soiled pjs and getting a washcloth, running it under warm water and starting to clean her up. You sang a little tune you remembered from when you used to babysit, and it soothed her enough, her sobs turning into sniffles.

“There, see, look! All better! All cleaned up,” you smiled, tickling her little belly. “Let’s get you some medicine and find where your daddy went, yeah?” 

The two of you found him in the living room, headed towards you armed with baby wipes, a towel, a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. He seemed shocked that his daughter wasn’t crying, and he sat everything down on the couch, reaching out for her.

“Y/N I’m so sorry, this whole night is a disaster,” he groaned, putting the back of his hand to Raleigh’s forehead. 

“Believe it or not, I’ve had worse dates,” you laughed at the absurdity of the whole situation.

“I brought you a change of clothes. I’m sorry about your dress, I’ll buy you a new one,” he offered, sheepish smile spreading across his face. Raleigh was already started to doze off - you could tell by her face that she felt better already.

“Eh, it was on clearance anyways, no biggie. But I will take the sweatpants offer,” you grinned, going over to get the clothes and taking the baby wipes with you for good measure. 

You headed back to the same bathroom, stripping down and changing out of your dress and into the much more comfortable joggers and t shirt he gave you, making sure to wipe your chest down just in case before you got dressed. You tried to get your dress clean, but it was futile - you’d have to put it in the wash or just call it a loss and toss it. 

So, you went back out towards the front door, sitting the crumpled up fabric on the floor before heading back out in search of Gray. To your surprise, he was in the kitchen, already cooking away with the baby monitor in close proximity.

“How do I look?” You grinned, making a show of the outfit, being sure to point out your heels. He laughed, a belly laugh that you hadn’t heard before.

“Honestly? Sexiest I’ve ever seen you, truly,” he smiled, reaching back to get a few more things from the cabinets.

“Raleigh already down?”

“Oh yeah, she’s always been a great sleeper. Thank you, for taking such good care of her. I think she just needed to puke and get it over with, she already seemed a bit better when I put her down. So, it looks like we still have the night to ourselves after all.”

And that night ended up looking like the two of you cuddled up on the couch with vegan mac and cheese - your dinner had been cut short after all - with a movie on the screen, baby monitor on the table beside you. With each minute that passed your doubts started to fade away - maybe this was what you really wanted after all. 

[artificialqueens]

Tree House Kisses, Chapter 42 (Adorney) - Scorpio and Veronica

A/N: Click here for previous chapters here on AQ or here if you’d rather read on AO3. xoxo!

Thanks so much to our wonderful betas: @saiphl, @sillylittlecandycane

Chapter Summary: The Scarlet Pimpernel opens...and causes some confusion all around.

Chapter 42: Where’s the Girl?

“Stop! Omigod!” Courtney wiped the tears from her eyes, clutching her stomach, which was aching from laughing so hard. She and Adore were having a sleepover after another long week of rehearsals, and Adore was cracking her up with an impression of Willam’s Very Serious Acting in the prison scene.

“I swear to you!” Adore clutched Courtney by the shoulders, face contorted in agony, imitating Willam’s overly dramatic, stage-whispered, “I. Won’t. Die.”

Courtney burst into fresh giggles, falling over onto the pillows that they’d piled up in front of the TV.

“Stop, Dory!” she gasped, “We open in two weeks and now I’m not gonna be able to get through that scene with a straight face!”

“He’s just so ridiculous.”

“I know, but he’s trying.”

“Too hard! Admit it: I would’ve been a much better Armand.”

“Yeah, maybe, but you’re Chauvelin is like, so incredibly good.”

“You think?”

Courtney grinned, leaning her head against the sofa.

“You’re a total badass. That’s why I always forget my lines when I’m watching you.”

“Huh. I thought you just suck at memorizing lines,” Adore said, and Courtney hit her with a throw pillow.

“Shut up, I’m doing my best!”

“You are. You’re doing great, actually.” Adore offered her some popcorn from the big bowl in her lap.

“Thank you.” Courtney smiled, taking a handful of popcorn.

“I do have one question, though,” Adore said, chewing on her lip.

“Okay…”

“Well...is it weird for you to be playing a character who’s, uh, who had...a girlfriend?”

Courtney raised an eyebrow, a little curious why she seemed to be so uncomfortable with the word “bi” and asked, “Weirder than being married to Bob?”

Adore laughed, shaking her head, and Courtney giggled along with her. The truth was, she was pretty excited for Adore to be playing her ex-girlfriend, but she didn’t want to make her bestie feel weird, so she thought it would be better to downplay it and keep things light.

“I’m serious, though. You remember what happened to me sophomore year. What if people...judge you for it? Are you gonna be okay with that?”

That possibility hadn’t really occurred to Courtney, but after a moment of consideration, she shook her head.

“I don’t think they will, honestly. But if they do…” Courtney took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders. “Then...whatever. I don’t care.”

“That’s easier said than done,” Adore told her. “When you’re standing on stage, and people are glaring at you like you’re the fucking devil…”

Seeing the look on Adore’s face suddenly brought back all of the confusing feelings that had swirled around during that dreadful Grease performance. When all she’d wanted was to stand by her friend, comfort her, tell her that she had her back, but instead she ended up feeling like the enemy. Courtney swallowed down the lump in her throat, reaching out a hand to touch Adore on the arm.

“I don’t know if I ever got to tell you...how fucking brave I thought you were that night.”

“Yeah?” A small smile tugged on Adore’s lips as her hazel eyes met Courtney’s green ones. “Thanks.”

There was a long pause, Courtney’s fingers gripping the sleeve of Adore’s pajama top.

Finally, Adore cleared her throat and added, “I guess there’s a pretty big difference anyway. I mean, for you, it’ll just be acting. Not like, who you really are.”

Courtney’s stomach flipped as she wondered if that was actually true. Wasn’t it who she really was? But Adore knew her better than anyone, and if she insisted that it wasn’t...

“Right. Acting...” Courtney said softly, as her fingers let go of Adore’s sleeve, cheeks growing hot.

-

“Pleeease, Dory, I have a headache!” Courtney begged, her head in Adore’s lap, as Adore giggled self-consciously and pushed her off.

They were all sitting at lunch, and Courtney was being even more inappropriately handsy than usual, snuggling up to her and trying to get her to give her a scalp massage--something she was normally happy to do, but not in broad daylight, in front of all of their friends.

Their giggly little struggle clearly didn’t escape Violet and her eagle eyes; even Courtney heard her scoff and mutter something under her breath.

“What?” Courtney asked, brushing the hair out of her eyes. “Do you have something to say, Vi?”

“Yeah, I said you’re a fucking closet case,” Violet announced, and Adore felt her whole body tense up.

Fame reached forward and put a hand on Violet’s shoulder, but Violet shrugged her off, sitting up straighter. Everyone in the group bristled a bit, waiting to see how Courtney would react, if Violet’s snide remarks would finally lead to a fight.

“So you wanna talk about my sexuality, huh?” Coutney said, edging closer to Violet, and Adore gulped. This was not going to end well. “Okay, fine, let’s talk about it.”

“Courtney-” Adore dug her fingers into the grass.

“No, listen, maybe we should. I mean, you’ve been very concerned for years, right? And I know why.” Courtney had now crawled right beside Violet, kneeling in front of her. She leaned over, speaking softly. “I know, okay? I know you’re in love with me.”

Violet narrowed her eyes, spitting out, “Get fucked!” as the rest of the group burst out laughing.

“Come on, Vi, don’t be defensive! It’s okay! You’re only human...” Courtney simpered, wrestling the squirming girl onto her back and straddling her. “I had to say something...the sexual tension was just getting too much.”

“Get off of me!” Violet screeched.

Courtney pressed a finger to Violet’s lips, leaning over her, rolling her hips. “Don’t fight it, baby! Admit it!” She held Violet’s hands over her head. “Admit you love me, and all you can think about is finally making out with me.”

“You are a fucking demon,” Violet said. She arched up, attempting to use her hips to throw Courtney off.

Pearl leaned over to whisper to Adore, “It’s not just me, right? This is like...really hot?”

“Shhhhh!” Adore hissed, mesmerized.

“Ow. Your hips are really bony,” Courtney declared. “You should really eat a sandwich or something.”

“I was trying, when you decided to fucking molest me, you psychotic freak!”

“Listen. You’ve been fixated on my sexuality for years now. I figured you’d jump at the chance to clear things up, once and for all. So just kiss me,” Courtney said, fluttering her lashes.

“Get. Off,” Violet growled, through gritted teeth.

Courtney giggled and rolled off, rubbing her hips. “Damn, those hip bones though. They could cut glass.” She looked over at Adore. “You must have permanent bruises.”

Violet straightened her skirt out. “She’s fine.”

“She got you good, bitch!” Willam was laughing so hard by now that tears were coming out of his eyes, and he gave Courtney a high five as she passed him on the way back to her spot.

“Oh, whatever,” Violet grumbled.

Courtney settled back in, laying her head in Adore’s lap and pouting up at her. Adore grinned, this time not hesitating to scratch her scalp exactly the way she wanted. After that show, she deserved it.

“So Vi, think you’re gonna dream about Courtney tonight?” Pearl teased, and Violet shot her an unamused glare.

“I think we all will,” Tati said, making Trinity snort out some of her Snapple iced tea.

-

Roy knew that he’d been a bit of an absentee boyfriend this year. But he made absolutely sure that he was there for the opening night of The Scarlet Pimpernel. He’d even convinced Darienne to come along, the two of them making the excruciatingly long drive from her dorm at Pepperdine, fighting hours of traffic and racing to their seats just minutes before the curtain went up.

It was a good show. Roy had to admit that, at least. But something about the plot made him squirm uncomfortably. Courtney and Bob’s estranged, awkward stage marriage was one thing, but when compared to her steamy relationship with Adore as her ex, it was just...too close for comfort.

During one of the scenes when Adore was trying to convince her to leave her husband, go back to France and fight in the revolution, the two of them looked like they were about to kiss, and Roy found himself holding his breath. Would they really kiss? Two girls? In a high school play? Surely Mrs. Maguire didn’t want to attract the hellfire of the Christian parents again, right? But as they drew closer and closer, lips parted, Roy’s nails dug into his palms.

He told himself that he was being crazy. It was only a play. At this point in the show, Courtney and Bob have already kissed three times, and it mostly just made him laugh, with their comical height difference. It certainly didn’t make him feel like this. Like something horrible and irreversible was about to happen, lips now so close that he was sure they could feel each other’s breath. And then, at the very last second, mere millimeters apart, Courtney shoved Adore away, slapping her across the face for good measure.

Beside him, Darienne gasped--she’d clearly been on pins and needles as much as him. As the music began for Adore’s solo, he finally felt his heartbeat returning to normal, making a firm decision to tune out the evocative lyrics and just concentrate on the sound of her voice.

-

“Hey.”

Courtney whipped around, an apologetic look on her face as she took in Adore’s cheek, where there was still a faint red handprint from her unrehearsed slap.

“Omigod, I’m so sorry. I know I wasn’t supposed to slap you, I don’t know why I-”

“No, it’s cool.” Adore grinned. “I think it totally made the scene better. You should keep doing it.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely. You’re killing it, by the way.” Adore held out her hand for a fist bump, and Courtney happily returned it.

“Thank you Dory!”

-

Maybe it was due to being away for nearly a year, or maybe it was because of their roles in the show, but Darienne found herself looking and Courtney and Adore in a whole new light tonight. She and Roy had joined their old theatre friends at the diner after the show, and everyone was fooling around, hyped on adrenaline.

Currently, Courtney was trying to steal some of Adore’s fries, and her bestie was having none of it.

“You said you didn't want any,” Adore laughed, pushing her off.

“I want yours,” Courtney replied, snatching another one from the plate.

“Well tough shit!”

“Please?” Courtney wrapped her hands around Adore’s arm and fluttered her lashes.

Their little exchange was interrupted by Roy returning to the booth and announcing, “Two more orders of fries are on the way. Regular and sweet potato.”

He slid onto the bench beside Courtney, who squealed happily and grabbed his face, kissing him deeply.

“Ew,” Adore said, nose wrinkled. “Do we really need tongue at the table? Some of us are eating.”

Courtney broke away from Roy and turned to her with an impish smile before lunging forward to lick her cheek.

“Augh, stop it!” Adore shrieked.

They went right back to play fighting, Darienne doing everything she could to avoid watching them directly. She accidentally made eye contact with Bob, who was shaking his head.

Oof. This was not gonna end well.

-

It was good--a very important reminder, for Adore to see Courtney with Roy. Because without him around, sometimes Adore would forget. She would be wrapped up in her own little world, just her and Courtney, the way it used to be when they were younger--the only two people that mattered.

The play didn’t help, either. Every night, they had to get so dangerously close to a kiss, so close that Adore could practically taste her, and there was always a moment where she thought that maybe, just maybe, tonight would be different. Maybe Courtney wouldn’t push her away. But of course she always did--that was the blocking, after all. And even though it was just acting in a silly little school musical, it was still like a punch in the gut every single time.

So having Roy back for the weekend was a good thing, Adore kept telling herself, like a splash of cold water in the face. Forcing her to accept reality, as she scrawled out lyrics in her journal, lyrics far too influenced by the play.

It used to be us Let me be the one Show me who you really are In the bitter cold, I would keep warm in my arms It could have been us

Adore scribbled over every line as soon as she wrote it, hating the cliché words and cliché feelings, when she was surprised by the sound of someone else scrambling up the ladder.

“Ugh,” Courtney heaved herself up into the tree house with a groan. “Whatcha working on?”

“Just some song lyrics. But they’re all shit, so...” Adore closed the journal with a snap. “Where’s your boyfriend? I figured you’d be spending all weekend with him.”

“Nah, he had a school thing.” Courtney yawned, seemingly unconcerned, then nudged Adore with her foot, meeting her eyes with a mischievous grin. “The show’s good, huh?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“I started to kind of worry a few days ago. I mean, I’m either onstage or quick-changing for so much of the show that I haven’t really seen it. So...what if it was actually terrible, you know?” Her eyes were wide and earnest, confessing even more, “And then I felt guilty, like why didn’t I have confidence in the cast, or in myself, and why not just have fun and not worry. But I wanted it to be good. Do you know what I mean?”

These were the moments when Adore loved Courtney the most. When the cracks appeared in her picture-perfect girl next door façade, letting her inner thoughts and true vulnerabilities show through.

“I do. But I wouldn’t worry. ‘Cause so much of the show is you. And you’re…” Adore shrugged, finishing, “It’s impossible not to love you.”

A bright, beaming smile spread across Courtney’s face and she crawled forward into the beanbag chair with Adore, wrapping her arms around her for a fierce hug.

“Thanks.”

“No problem…”

Adore shifted, trying not to think about how their bare legs were touching in this position, warm skin pressed together. Courtney finally loosened her grip, settling on her back.

“Can you believe we’re graduating in a month?”

“No. I still feel like I’m twelve.”

Courtney giggled, nodding. “Me too. Do you think we’ll be responsible adults when we live together? Or just like...eat cookies for every meal and stay up all night watching scary movies?”

“I guess...we’ll see, huh?”

It seemed like such a great idea when Courtney first suggested it. They both wanted to be in LA, and who better to share an apartment with than her best friend of ten years? When she initially thought about it, she’d pictured them romping around like children, like they’d moved full time into the tree house, life full of giggles and madcap hilarity.

But now...Adore was less sure. Of course there’d be work and school to contend with...the frustration of what would almost certainly be entirely different schedules. Maybe not the most fun, but something they could deal with. What was really giving Adore pause was the dawning realization that nothing had changed. Courtney was still in love with her high school sweetheart, and he’d be living in the same city. Hell, it was a distinct possibility that Roy would be over all the time.

The thought of hearing them together...Adore shook her head. It was too heartbreaking to even consider, laying in bed while the love of her life got their world rocked by someone else. Someone who, in spite Adore’s best efforts, she could never hate.

“Dory?” Courtney murmured, snuggling against her. “What’re you thinking about?”

“Uh...just...I really wanna smoke.”

Courtney’s laugh was the caught off-guard surprised kind that bubbled up from her chest, Adore’s favorite one.

“Don’t let me stop you,” she said, the trace of a giggle still in her voice.

“I never do.”

-

“Look. All I’m saying is, they clearly want each other,” Pearl said. The gang--minus Courtney and Adore, who were the subject of conversation--were all lounging around Violet’s basement. They’d seen the play the night before, and Pearl was trying to convince her friends that the palpable tension between them onstage was proof that they were getting closer than ever to hooking up. “I mean, I thought so on the first day I ever saw them together, and I think if anything, it’s ever stronger now.”

“I agree, but Adore’s in so much denial,” said Tati. “She’ll never admit how she feels.”

“Adore’s in denial?” Violet scoffed. “Courtney’s the one in denial. She’s like...so disconnected from reality it’s actually scary.”

“I dunno,” Trinity said thoughtfully. “I think she’d happily go for it if Adore gave her the green light. She’s so like...amenable.”

“Wow, big word, cuz.” Willam laughed, and Trinity hit him with a pillow.

“She would probably want to, but I don’t think she’d cheat on Roy,” said Fame.

“Y’all give her way too much credit. She would definitely cheat on him,” Violet insisted. “Remember the New Year’s party? She was practically cheating on him in front of his fucking face.”

“But you guys. Do you really think that Adore can compete with Roy and his monster cock?” Willam mused, a dreamy smile on his face.

Pearl laughed, shaking her head and placing a hand on Willam’s shoulder.

“Will, your experiences are not universal,” she giggled.

“That’s for damn sure,” Violet echoed.

“Should we say something to them?” Fame asked.

“To who? Roy and his cock?”

“No!”

“I already have,” Tati said, taking the bowl of chips. “Adore seems determined to just be miserable.”

“Maybe we should say something to Courtney. If she knew how Adore felt, like for real-” Trinity began.

“Don’t you dare. Adore would never forgive you,” said Violet.

“I hate to agree with Violet, about anything, but...she’s right,” Pearl said, fighting Violet off with one arm, the brunette having lunged at her on the sofa.

“Hmmm...well...I hope they get it together,” Trinity said.

“Five bucks says they never do,” Willam said.

“I’ll take that bet!” Fame said, reaching out to shake Willam’s hand.

“Might as well just throw your money in the trash, Fame,” Violet laughed, still tousling with Pearl.

“Wow, you’re way too confident,” Trinity proclaimed. “You know what...ten bucks on the power of love.”

“Ha! You’re on.” Violet gave her a fist bump.

“Should there be a time limit on these bets?” Pearl asked.

“Nope. That’s how fucking confident I am,” said Violet. “It’ll never happen.”

-

“I don’t know why you’re so mad.”

Well of course she didn’t know, Courtney reasoned. Courtney barely understood herself. So she stomped her foot and let out a bratty little huff.

“Seriously Court, I honestly don’t get it. Can you please explain?” Adore looked up from the rack of dresses she was pawing through, brow furrowed.

“I...I’m not mad. I just think it’s a bad idea.”

They were at the mall together, looking for prom dresses. It was coming up upon a very busy time of year: one more week of play performances, then prom, then finals, and then graduation--after which she and Adore were planning a week-long road trip to Mexico before she’d have to start her summer job. And then the best thing of all, when they’d get to move to LA together, and she’d finally be roommates with her best friend.

She should be in a great mood, excited for all the end of senior year fun and proud of graduating with semi-decent grades this year. Instead, she was annoyed for an incredibly stupid reason, which was that Adore had asked Tatianna to be her prom date.

“Why’s it a bad idea? We’re friends.”

“Don’t you remember when she broke your heart last Fall?”

Adore bit her lip, giving a little shake of her head. “That’s not exactly what happened.”

“It absolutely is! You cried in my arms all night!” Courtney insisted.

She wasn’t sure why she was being so adamant. It just seemed like asking for trouble--going to a dance with an ex. And not just any dance, but prom. Maybe part of her irritation was Adore thinking she needed a date at all, since they were going as a group.

“Look, it’s just…” Adore sighed. “I know it seemed bad at the time, but that was like...so long ago. We’ve been friends for much longer than we ever dated. So how’s it different from Pearl being Trinity’s date?”

“It’s different,” Courtney said. She pulled a lavender dress off the rack, holding it up against her body before deciding that it was way too ruffly and girly. She’d done the princess thing before, and even her dress last year at Roy’s prom had been ultra-girly, soft turquoise lace with a sparkly waistband and short, fluffy skirt. This year, she wanted to surprise people by looking sleek and adult and sexy. She turned towards a wine-colored satin dress with a high slit.

“Okay, what about Violet going with Fame?” Adore countered.

Courtney turned back toward her, a hand on her hip, and asked, “You really wanna be like that trainwreck?”

“What do you mean?” Adore asked, hazel eyes widening innocently.

“Adore. Only an idiot would look at them and not see that Violet still likes Fame so much and Fame just doesn’t feel the same way. It’s actually heartbreaking to witness.”

Adore scrunched up her face, looking torn between the desire to deny that Courtney’s assessment was accurate, gossip about it, or change the subject entirely out of sheer discomfort.

“I just don’t know why you’re doing this to yourself. Why not just go with us as a group and have fun?” Courtney continued, knowing that she sounded like a condescending broken record, but unable to stop herself.

“That’s easy for you to say.” Adore pulled another black dress down, adding it to the growing pile of black dresses in her arms. “You have a date.”

“Yeah, but if he couldn’t come...or if he cancels last minute because of school, which could totally still happen by the way--then I’ll be fine. I’ll be with my friends and I’ll still have an awesome night.” As much as Courtney loved Roy, she’d gotten very used to socializing without a boyfriend on her arm, and sometimes even preferred it. After two years of being a couple, all the time, there was a certain freedom that came with having Roy away at school.

“Oh please. You know that if that happened, you’d rope Willam into being your date. You can never resist a pocket square that matches your dress.”

“That’s not true!” Courtney laughed, shaking her head. “And I honestly cannot imagine a worse prom date than Willam Belli. First of all, we look related. And second, you know he’d abandon me to go have sex with a random dude the first chance he got.”

“Well, I want a date. I think it’ll make the night more fun,” Adore said. “So are you gonna keep lecturing me, or can we go play dress-up and twirl around like idiots and stop this dumb conversation?”

Part of Courtney wanted to defend herself, wanted to keep arguing until Adore saw her point, but that part of her was small compared to the part that wanted to play dress-up and twirl like idiots. So, with pursed lips and a dramatic sigh, she finally agreed, “Fine. Conversation about this officially over.” And silently, just to herself, added, ‘but I still think I’m right.’

“Thank god.” Adore draped an arm around her shoulders, leading her towards the dressing rooms.

[cashforrester]

rank all the songs on the trolls soundtracks!

Alrighty! Since there's 33 total, I'm going to start at #33 and go up to #1, aka the best song in both Trolls combined soundtracks! Please note that I'm not up to debating any of these placements and if you try, I'll scream -- I'm not an expert on much, but I am on the world of Trolls and that's absolutely final. Also worth noting is that even #33 is a masterpiece; this list really isn't from bad to good, it's more from 'pretty good' to 'absolutely rocked my world and changed it forever more!'.

33. The last place spot goes to "Rainbows, Unicorns, Everything Nice" from Trolls: World Tour! It’s a fun little bop and it got a small chuckle out of me but in the end, it’s super short and a little too obvious.

32. “The Other Side” by SZA and JT has to score low. I know it was used to bookend Trolls: World Tour or at least the instrumentals were, but it’s one of the more boring songs on the soundtrack which is the closest to a criticism of one of these songs I’ll have.

31. “Just Sing”, the non-film version, goes here. I know this seems low and it kind of is, but that’s because outside of the context of the movie, the song doesn’t have the same punch! The movie version will be higher on the list!

30. Next goes to "What U Workin' With?" by Gwen Stefani and Justin Timberlake from Trolls! It wasn’t super utilized in the movie so it’s just kind of a spare song on the soundtracks, even if it is a fun bop! I still dance along when it comes on my playlists but the other songs are more integral to the plot.

29. The next spot goes to "Don't Slack" by Anderson Paak and Justin Timberlake, aka the voices of Prince D and Branch! It’s used in the credits of Trolls: World Tour and they’re cute little credits and a cute little song but because it wasn’t used in a more relevant way, it has to rank lower than the others.

28. "I Fall to Pieces" by Sam Rockell, aka the voice of Hickory from Trolls: World Tour comes next! It’s a short but totally funny country tune that’s used well in the plot and made me smile. It is very short though and more of a joke than anything else, but the music isn’t bad so here we go!

27. "Rock N Roll Rules" by HAIM comes next and it’s a really REALLY good song, don’t get me wrong! I love the instrumentals and how they’re used in Trolls: World Tour and I still wish they’d gotten the lead singer of HAIM to voice Queen Barb instead of Rachel Bloom, but ultimately it just reminds me we didn’t get a great rock vocalist for the most important character in the sequel.

26. "It's All Love" by Andersen Paak has to come next! I love this song actually but there’s two versions on the soundtrack and this is the non-film version so it’s got to score lower than songs actually used in the movies, but holy heck, it’s a really good song, I’d highly recommend it.

25. Another song that’s just used as a joke is "The Sound of Silence" by Anna Kendrick, aka Poppy in Trolls and this ranks higher than the others because it was the first real joke song and it made me laugh so hard I cried!

24. "Barracuda” is the worst of Rachel Bloom’s vocal performances in Trolls: World Tour and I hate to say it, I really do, but at times on this one, you can definitely hear that she isn’t a rock singer. It scores higher than the others so far because it was used in a super plot relevant moment and super effectively! AND the most offensive part of the song to my ears, when she says the titular word horribly, was cut out of the film, so it gets 26th instead of last place for being a song that’s hard for me, the King of Suspension of Disbelief, to take seriously.

23. “They Don’t Know” by Ariana Grande comes next. It’s a fun bubbly song that fits Gristle and Bridget’s first date in Trolls perfectly and it made me really really want a roller-skating date at some point in my life. It gets points off for not being able to understand the words and also because none of the characters actually sang it. Songs in the backgrounds of musicals score lower with me.

22. I have to put “Can’t Stop the Feeling” by Justin Timberlake here. It’s one of my favorite songs ever but the film version is even better! It gets higher than other non-film versions because of how much it was used for advertising, it basically became synonymous with the Trolls franchise and that sparks joy.

21. And on that note, I have to put “True Colors” the non-film version, before we get to our top twenty. It’s such an amazing song but in the scope of the Troll world... well, the film version is going to score way higher, you’ll see.

20. "Trolls 2 Many Hits Mashup" in Trolls: World Tour has to come next. It’s the last joke song, and the highest scorer because at least they committed to the joke of pop music being way too much! The scene in its entirety is hilarious and all the voice actors really did their best! 

19. "Leaving Lonesome Flats" from Trolls: World Tour comes next! It loses some major points for not being sung by a character in the movie but it’s basically sung by the location that is Lonesome Flats and I love that! It’s a fun little country dirge that really makes us feel transported and it also slaps.

18. "Crazy Train" is maybe the average of Rachel Bloom’s performance as Barb in Trolls: World Tour. It’s over the top and not necessarily in a good way but it’s inoffensive to the ears and a good song notwithstanding whether it’s a cover. 

17. "Trolls Wanna Have Good Times" has to come next which isn’t fair, really; the only reason it’s not higher is because it’s clearly trying to do as well at an opening medley as its predecessor Trolls did with their opening medley. As it often is with sequels, the opening number really didn’t measure up. It was made up of some really fun parts and it gets points for having personalized lyrics (’lived underground away from the world till I had my life changed by a beautiful girl. Just need the guts to tell her that she’s the one’? Amazing!)

16. "Hair Up" from the opening of Trolls comes next! It’s purely sentimental that its this high but every time I hear this beat, it’s like I’m about to start watching Trolls and my whole mind and body get happy so it had to be top twenty, although not fifteen because it’s not the best of the best.

15. "Born to Die" by Kelly Clarkson, aka Delta Dawn, from Trolls: World Tour comes next. My favorite songs from the sequels were the introduction songs for the most part, and this song did a great job of summing up the differences between country trolls and pop trolls. It was great for plot, character, and conflict! It’s just not the kind of music I bop to - ironically, it’s lower than the other introduction songs for me because it’s not fun, which I know is their whole thing, but my whole thing is having fun!

14. "Atomic Dog World Tour Remix" is the funk trolls introduction song in Trolls: World Tour and it’s funky and fun and fresh and I love it! There’s not that much to say about this one, it’s used pretty quickly but very effectively from a storytelling standpoint! It quickly puts us into the world of the funk trolls.

13. "One More Time" is a very nearly perfect introduction song for the techno trolls in Trolls: World Tour! I love how the emphasis of this song is the instrumentals and the dancing more than the actual words -- the techno trolls are big on synchronicity and beats and it’s something that differentiates them from the other kinds of trolls and also makes them a devastating first colony to attack in the movie. They’re all about unity and togetherness and something about attacking and tearing apart the group that’s all about syncing up is so tragic.

12.  “Rock You Like a Hurricane” is the best Bloom sounds in the movie as Barb, and it’s also her introduction song, not surprisingly. The instrumentals are amazing both as a display of talent and power and her voice lends itself well to the moment; it’s a great opener for the rock trolls and it made me so excited to see more from them!

11. “Perfect for Me” is Trolls: World Tour’s answer to the excellence that was the True Colors duet and it was really cute! It wasn’t quite as perfect for the moment as True Colors was, which is funny because this one was written for the movie but I don’t know, since it was written for the movie, I’d have hoped it’d be better? More fitting? It’s a fine enough song that sometimes I listen to sadly while lying down in my bed but in the Trollverse, it’s not top ten material.

10. “September” comes next! It’s the song that the Trolls start singing as soon as they escape the Bergins and it’s their celebration song and I love it for that! It’s also used in the credits of the first movie which makes me love it more; I don’t know, it’s performed and sung really well and makes me really happy. The top ten all spark MASSING amounts of joy.

9. “It’s All Love (History of Funk)” is one of the best songs in the sequel! I love the way the funk trolls go through the history of funk and music, and the beats are amazing and the lyrics are so good and the movie’s scene is SO GOOD. I can’t articulate how much I love that the funk trolls show their history through album covers instead of scrapbooks like the pop trolls. All the vocalists are crazy talented and something about the beat just...yes. It’s just a yes.

8. “Yodel Beat”! It scores surprisingly high if you haven’t seen Trolls: World Tour but if you HAVE seen it, you’ll understand why! It’s one of the best songs for musically punctuating a moment that the entire franchise has and I still get goosebumps thinking about how that scene was executed and how this song played such a massive role in it. Big fan, big fan!

7. "I'm Coming Out" / "Mo' Money Mo' Problems" is just hilarious! I love this scene in Trolls, as it’s the first example we have that Trolls and Bergins can work together, as well as the fact that Bergins can be happy without eating trolls, since Bridget is so confident and awesome! I also give lots of points to mashups and medleys and this was an unexpected one that just worked!

6. "Just Sing (Trolls World Tour)" is the best song in the sequel, hands down! When all the leaders of the different troll counties sing together? It’s amazing, every single time! It’s so meaningful, the fact that music is the most important thing in all of their lives and how it’s what ultimately unites them. I shed a tear every time, honestly. I’m tearing up thinking about it right now.

5. "Hello"  in Trolls is performed EXPERTLY by Zooey Deschanel. Did anyone know she was that funny? Because holy carp! She’s hilarious! I love this song and scene, it was one of the first scenes in Trolls that made me realize this movie was on a whole other level! It had to be top five!

4. "Get Back Up Again" by Anna Kendrick aka Poppy has to be a high scorer! It’s an original for the movie and it’s so damn good! It���s optimistic and encouraging and I love it for the movie and the character but I also love to listen to it when I need some help getting up or feeling like it’s going to be a good day. I will get back up again! It’s a great philosophy and a fantastic reminder that life can knock you down but that you’ll be good!

3. Top three times! The best medley in the movie has to be here, and that’s "Move Your Feet" / "D.A.N.C.E." / "It's a Sunshine Day"! It’s our introduction to the Pop trolls in the first movie and it’s crafted so good! I love it! No matter how many times I listen to it, it makes me so so happy the way the songs flow together. Any world where these songs exist and fit together as well as they do is a world I want to be sucked into for at least the next two hours of my life.

2. THE FILM VERSION OF “TRUE COLORS”! Is my number two pick! It has to be! It’s so impactful and emotional and romantic and if I ever get somebody to want to marry me, an instrumental cover of this has to be our first dance song, I’m sorry. It’s so beautiful! And the film version somehow makes an amazing song even better! WHEN THE TROLLS HUG TIME WATCHES CHIME OFF IN THE TUNE OF THE SONG?! AS THEY FACE THEIR IMPENDING DOOM?! IT’S AMAZING, SHOWSTOPPING, LEGENDARY, ICONIC. I’m getting sweaty just thinking about it!

1. If you know me, you knew “Can’t Stop the Feeling”, the film version, was gonna be number one! The buildup to that moment in the movie is cinematic perfection, the performance is dazzling, and the feeling it leaves in you is unforgettable. It’s the song that’s played when the trolls teach the Bergins that you don’t need to eat other sentient species to be happy, you just need to find the magic and music inside of you, and it’s a lesson I learned while watching -- this movie and this song unlocked a power inside of me to smile and be happy with just myself and it’s absolutely... it’s just everything. It’s everything and I love it and I love you, whoever you are, who sent me this ask, because getting to think about and go through all the songs in Trolls that I love, it was awesome.

honesty hour!

[thesportssoundoff]

Attempting to Play Matchmaker: The 2018 schedule opening

Joey

November 13th

I started this like two weeks ago so forgive me if I'm off on any of the news. Just bein' real on it. I got up to the main event for the Belem show and then took a long break.

What you see above is the UFC's schedule for 2018. The start of the year  has been laid out and it features 9 events through March. For comparative measures we had 8 in 2016 and 2017. It's worth noting that this could be the last year they're on Fox so there's a lot riding on these events to do some numbers. According to Forbes (https://www.forbes.com/sites/trentreinsmith/2017/11/05/ufc-announces-nine-events-for-first-quarter-of-2018/#583e5ca8df1c) there's TWO Fox cards scheduled for the early portion of the year which to my knowledge is normally NOT how they do things. Even if you want to account for NFL numbers being down, playoff NFL numbers are always higher than anything else going on for the year so right off the jump, the UFC will have two big FOX events and then two Fight Nights which literally will suckle of the teet of the NFL/Fox relationship. The first being the Sunday January event which will likely follow an NFL Divisional Round game and the OTHER being a game the week of the Super Bowl. I don't know if Fox has the super bowl this year but either way, that's a BIG night regardless. It's been successful for them in the past.

So you got 3 PPVs, 2 Fox cards and then 4 Fight Nights, the last of which potentially being a Fight Pass card. Maybe in the perfect world for the UFC, that FP card is the first show a digital provider is getting so a Netflix or an Amazon deal is in play. What I'm going to attempt, quite possibly in a rather poor fashion, is to JUST do the main and co-main events with perhaps a name or two sprinkled on top of that who may appear on the card. I'll also try to be as realistic as humanly possible, avoiding anything that's simply not gonna happen like McGregor on free TV or Jon Jones vs Brock or whatever. I'm also going to try NOT to steal any ideas discussed on the Dojo Talk Podcast where much was discussed to the tune of much radio silence. Just gonna try to fill this early schedule out.

UFC Fight Night From St. Louis, Missouri Jan 14th (Sunday on FS1)

Main Event: Amanda Nunes vs Holly Holm

It's been said that Nunes vs Rocky Pennington was in talks around UFC 219 before Pennington got hurt. It seems like Holm is looking for a bigger deal (or Cyborg is or somebody is) for that Cyborg/Holm fight so let's do Cyborg/Cat Zingano eventually and just roll with Nunes vs Holm in a fight that would garner a rather large heavy audience in Missouri. St. Louis seems like the sort of town Holly Holm could really pop numbers wise and Woodley isn't fighting on free TV (OR IS HE?!?!?!??!) so just gotta take your losses there. You would probably prefer this as an underneath title fight on a PPV but beggars can't always be choosers AND I'd argue a big ratings # to talk Fox into a few extra green bills might top the 50K more buys Nunes could generate if she generates any revenue at all at this point.

Co-Main Event: Jeremy Stephens vs Yair Rodriguez

So I've been toying around a bit for some potential ideas for a co-main and one idea was Darren Till vs somebody but I don't see an immediate fight that makes sense. Till could use a big, big spotlight night but this one doesn't feel too perfect for me. Till vs Wonderboy would be great but I really think the UFC is hot for Perry/Ponz vs Till winner at some point. Yair Rodriguez has been gone for a while but I can't think of a fighter at 145 lbs I'd like to see bounce back with a vengeance more than Yair. Jeremy Stephens is coming off a win and he's a pretty damn popular fighter so I think that's a fair matchup for free TV as a co-main under a big title fight.

We know that Vitor Belfort vs Uriah Hall is apparently a done deal here. I don't think that's a main event and I think that while it would work as a co-main event, giving a co-main spot to Vitor Belfort given his potential leaving of the UFC would be like giving Mitrione a co-main spot on that show in 2016 where they had concerns that HE was leaving. They didn't----and so Hall vs Vitor seems like a fine third fight. Put an action guy as the 4th spot or two big HWs to get the masses excited and move on.

Click inside for more of me trying to play God and failing miserably. 

UFC 220 Boston, Massachusetts Jan 20th (Saturday on PPV)

Main Event: Daniel Cormier vs Volkan Oezdemir

There's been some internet scuttlebutt that this is actually the co-main event and the REAL main event is going to be McGregor vs Ferguson. That's cute and all but I'm not exactly sold. You get the feeling Conor's not fighting anywhere other than LA, Nevada or New York these days so I'm not buying that. Volkan vs DC might not sell 1,000,000 PPVs on its own BUT it's a really credible title fight and I don't see anything that immediately jumps out and makes me thing they're going to find an event that can top it.

Co-Main Event: Stipe Miocic vs Cain Velasquez

Look I can dream, ya know? Sipe vs Cain would be a fantastic co-main event and PROBABLY a top flight main event of its own. I just don't think that the UFC can trust Cain to step up and do something.

I guess a really solid third fight to back up those two would be something like Kevin Lee vs Beneil Dariush or Evan Dunham. Plus you gotta have a capable HW backing up any fight where Cain is on. Gotta protect yourself on a show like this. Plus Joe Lauzon because it's Boston.

UFC on Fox Charlotte, North Carolina Jan 27th (Saturday on Fox)

Main Event: Derek Brunson vs Luke Rockhold

Brunson has already suggested that this fight might be in the works. Either Rockhold or Weidman. There's basically 6-8 middleweights just hanging around looking to fight one another in Jacare, Weidman, Brunson, Rockhold, Boetsch and Yoel Romero. Brunson/Rockhold is a rare fresh fight at 185 lbs so if I'm forced to pitch a fight, this would be the one I'd go for.  Besides Brunson is FROM North Carolina so yeah, perfect fit. No complaints I can't imagine.

Co-Main Event: Yoel Romero vs Jacare Souza II

I had previously thought Jacare could bet he headliner for a week from now in Belem BUT I have another idea for the spot. Jacare vs Romero is the PERFECT rematch and given Romero's insistence that his next fight be three rounds, I like this one as a fantab co-main event for a Fox card. If Brunson/Rockhold and Jacare/Romero don't get you excited then you can just miss me right here right now.

As for the rest of the card? Well we've seen some fights filter out recently but nothing I'd consider to be main card worthy. Randa Markos vs Julianna Lima could be on a main card as an opener I guess? What if you do Siyar Bahadurzada vs Brad Tavares since I believe Siyar is 100% focused on middleweight as of this time.

UFC Fight Night Belem, Brazil February 3rd

Main Event: Fabricio Werdum vs Alexander Volkov

I mean I don't see why not? I originally thought of Curtis Blaydes here but the more I think about it, the more I think that's rushing things. Plus I did an entire ramble on the DTP about how the UFC shouldn't rush Blaydes. Volkov instead makes good sense given his stock in the division and the streak he's on. Wins over Tim Johnson, Stefan Struve and Roy Nelson sets him up well for a run UP the rankings and Werdum is the best available scenario plus it's a main event in Brazil.

Co-Main Event: Rashad Evans vs Lyoto Machida II

Let's accept that both Rashad and Lyoto aren't going anywhere. Once you've done that, let's take it a step further and argue that neither guy deserves a real competitive matchup to this point. Rashad hasn't won in 100 years and Lyoto is on a similar minded slide. Both guys are big names who can bolster a card so put them on against one another as a co-main event on free TV and see who can rebuild their name value a teensy bit in the process.

As for the rest of the card? Thiago Marreta vs CB Dollaway seems like a fine fight assuming CB is coming back down to 185 lbs. I spent about a week thinking of what to do with Paulo Costa and I've decided that him vs Sam Alvey or Tim Boetsch seems like a fine fight for his progression. Francisco Trinaldo vs Lando Vannata can find a spot on this show and the same goes a fight like Antonio Carlos Junior vs  Anthony Smith and Pedro Munhoz vs Marlon Moraes.

UFC 220 Perth, Australia February 10th (Saturday on PPV)

Main Event: GSP vs Robert Whittaker

It would SUCK if the UFC decided they wanted to do a big event in Perth and the healthiest/best Aussie in the company wasn't headlining. Especially givent he money spent lobbying to get an event in Perth. So how about we just abandon all pretenses and do this fight up? Unify the belts and we're all happy campers.

Co-Main Event: Tyron Woodley vs Robbie Lawler/RDA winner

I was torn between Joanna/Rose II and the Woodley fight but the best way to hype up GSP vs Woodley (because it's coming y'all) might be to just put this fight as the co-main event. I think when you bundle it all together, it's a pretty appealing 1-2 punch. Lawler in general likes to stay busy and RDA fought in June and was the back up plan if Maia turned down the fight with Woodley in July SO you're talking about a relatively quick-ish turnaround for both BUT I think they can handle it. Lawler fought in March then in May then in July one year. If not then just give Woodley one of the Till, Covington, Wonderboy trio to figure it out.

The rest of the card is what it is really. Expect plenty of Aussie filler with a pretty solid third fight to help put the whole puzzle together. If you REALLY wanna get nuts then maybe you do Rawlings vs the winner of the 125 title tournament. Also if they're smart Meagan Anderson will be on this show against some 145er they find in the mountains somewhere. Ediane Gomes FTW. Also I swear to god you can bet on them giving Dan Kelly someone who hits really hard because they like to be mean.

UFC Fight Night Erwin, Texas February 18th, 2017 (Live on FS1)

Main Event: Ovince St. Preux vs Patrick Cummins

I'm sort of stuck here. When the UFC goes to Texas they tend to bring big shows relative to the quality of free TV. The problem is this far ahead I can't really find a fight worthy of a main event slot. My first though in all honesty was Cody Garbrandt vs John Lineker but that may be too soon given that Garbrandt just had surgery. I was tempted to go Val Shevchenko vs the loser of the 125 lb tournament but eh....bleeegghh. I even consdiered James Vick vs Kevin Lee but I think I booked Lee already. As such, OSP vs Cummins makes sense. Two big dudes being big dudes. Plus we can just make this a good undercard.

Co-Main Event: Paige Van Zant vs Rachael Ostovich

Oh-kay. PVZ turned down Jessica Eye and Val Schevchenko. Rachael Ostovich vs PVZ makes some sense given that Ostovich will probably be a fighter who gets bounced from the TUF tournament but has the ability to generate some buzz given her looks (it matters y'all. We're trying to sell an event here). PVZ vs Ostovich would also be a pretty fun wild wacky kind of fight and if you're putting Paige on a main card, I can't imagine her not being really high up on a show---especially for FS1.

Bonus Fight: Sage Northcutt vs BJ Penn

WHAT?! WHAT?! Look that's THE fucking fight to make. I ain't even about to hear shit from y'all. Gimme this fight and fuck all exceptions. This is the main event unfortunately for most folks. Throw in James Vick vs Beneil Dariush and Alexa Grasso vs Danielle Taylor. Leggo.

UFC on Fox Orlando, Florida February 25th, 2017

Main Event: Rose Namajunas vs Joanna Former Champion II

I would prefer if they just moved Joanna up a weight class. To me that'd make the MOST sense. I don't make the rules here though so might as well just do a rematch, right? To me this is the perfect co-main event for a big PPV but instead let's just make it a title fight on Fox. Max publicity, easy to tell story, big "name" fight to bump a number and get yourself a juicy rating in late February.

Co-Main Event: Colby Covington vs Kamaru Usman

Don't tell me you don't want to see this even if it's for selfish purposes.

As for the rest of the show? Welp there's plenty of top flight fighters from top flight gyms in Florida who can be relied to turn a solid gate. Thiago Alves maybe? Nina Ansaroff on the strength of two straight wins could take on Jessica Andrade or Karolina K. Ben Saunders vs Cowboy Cerrone is a weird fight that sort of appeals to me as a main card opener. Jorge Masvidal vs Gunnar Nelson would be fun too.

UFC 222 Las Vegas, Nevada March 5th (Saturday on PPV)

Main Event: Conor McGregor vs Tony Ferguson

How about we unfiy these fucking titles and move on with our lives?

Co-Main Event: Demetrious "Mighty Mouse" Johnson vs TJ Dillashaw

I mean it's what they're doing. This seems like the path they want to take and I guess I can be sold on it. Big weird super fights for all.

As for the rest of the show?  Dominick Cruz should be better by then so maybe you can rebook Cruz/Rivera. Francis Ngannou can get a filler fight vs a somebody if you need to keep him busy assuming he beats Overeem. Dustin Poirier vs the Gaethje/Alvarez winner por favor.  The winner of Pettis/Cejudo, assuming they're asked to fight again, could take on Deiveison Figuerido or Tim Elliott.

UFC Fight Night ???, England (It's listed as London and it seems like London is where it'll be but the UFC wants to go to Liverpool as well) March 18th, 2018 (Fox or FS1?)

Main Event: Darren Till vs the winner of Mike Perry/Santiago Ponzinnibio

If Perry beats Ponz, I think we'll all be sold on his legit-ness. Besides he brings excitement and a touch of fun to this WW in rebuild. That and there are goofs who seem to really like the idea of these two jawing and fighting eventually. Having said that, I expect Ponz to beat Perry pretty decisively which would give us a fantastic clash of really good striking WWs with developing ground games.

Co-Main Event: Michael Bisping vs Dan Kelly/Sam Alvey/Jack Hermansson/Brad Scott/Anybody outside of the top 15

If Bisping is seriously retiring in London as he's stated then this feels like a perfect chance for him to take a nice step back in competition. Bisping has fought in FIVE straight five round fights so how about we give him somebody who isn't going to make him go five rounds. Pick a name out of a hat basically and let Bisping go out with a high probability for a win.

As for the rest of the show? I mean where the fuck has Arnold Allen been recently? Give Arnold Allen somebody a main card fight. Joanne Calderwood can fight a TUF castmate at 125 lbs. Oskar Piechota can get a fight too.

[blame-canada]

Quarter Rests: Change

The CMV Mutation Pandemic swept across the globe so quickly, society as they knew it was doomed to fall. While the world came crashing down around them, Craig and Tweek tried their best to survive, and to love endlessly, in spite of it.

Hello friends! For the September 2017 South Park Drabble Bomb, I’ve decided to use all five prompts to write for the Halfway universe- which means everything here is canon to that fanfiction and its timeline! I hope you’ll tune in to catch a few little tidbits here and there about this universe I’ve lovingly crafted into my own. Link to the fic on AO3 here!

Chapter Five: Change

He wanted most to be an optimist, but life was truly, honestly, not supposed to have gone this way.

Clyde liked to go with whatever life threw at him. It was something his father had taught him, to live in every moment, and something even further cemented by the passing of his mother. With life so fragile and short, he found meaning in taking what he was given in stride, and smiling at the obstacle courses he’d been subjected to in his many years since. This obstacle was proving hard to smile at, though, and in fact Clyde was finding it very difficult to smile at all, even in the metaphorical simulations buried deep in his brain.

His knees were achy from a day spent standing at work. They popped and ground together like they needed oiling, and he shook out his legs between steps for good measure as he dragged his feet out of the lab and toward the locker rooms. He hung up his lab coat- his name wasn’t even embroidered on it. It was printed on a sticker in the back. In this hospital, he was nameless.

He’d studied meteorology, actually. He had only just finished his degree by the time the virus began its destruction, and the cookie crumbled in such a way that when he ended up back at home, the hospital had dragged him in. They were taking anybody who knew anything about biology and was immune. He’d taken one or two courses in college, and they figured that was enough. The rest, he improvised and figured out along the way. It wasn’t where he wanted to end up- not by a long shot- but he’d do anything that might help. Nobody really cared about the weather, at that point.

South Park was always the town you ran away from. You left high school, found somewhere, anywhere else, and bolted for the door. Clyde had never really been a fan of that mentality. He didn’t want to run away; not when his father would be left behind. He didn’t like feeling like his father was completely alone in that shell of a house, made even emptier by the old picture frames that showed a family frozen in time more than a decade ago. They were all so dusty.

When Clyde came back to that empty house, he came back alone. His wife, a woman he adored whom he’d met in college, was buried in a small-town cemetery beside her parents in a family plot. It didn’t make sense for him to stay in their apartment when everything in it reminded him of her, and he packed up his essentials the day after the funeral and went back home. All throughout the funeral, his father kept patting him on the back, as though it was the only way he could ever express his sympathy and total understanding. He would never say he was glad Clyde didn’t have kids, but Clyde knew he was thinking it.

He pulled the lock out of his locker door, and took out his outdoor sneakers and carrier bag, slinging the sack over one shoulder before sitting down on the bench that ran along the middle of the row. He sighed, the bottom of his lungs feeling heavy and weighted. He overextended his arms to pull his muscles apart from their knotted up mess in his back, stiff from a day of staring into machines and computer screens. When the good feeling of the stretch faded, he sagged and hunched his shoulders, arms on both knees that were too tired to tie his laces.

God, he felt so old now. His father picked on him, for acting like a grandpa in his twenties, but it was wearing on him too. The Donovan men were very good at joking, and not very good at talking. He missed being the kid looking for laughs, ripped on by his friends in good fun and screwing around on the playground. Whenever he had to walk past the school yard, he had to look away now; the playground just looked so wrong to be barren and falling apart. Part of him still hoped the world would go back to normal, but part of him told him it would never be the same.

The door to the locker room swung open from around the corner. His attention snapped his head up, straightened his back, hoped it was who he thought it was. The squeaky sneaker footsteps walked along the aisle blocked by a row of lockers, and then their maker turned the corner into Clyde’s lane.

“Craig!” he exclaimed, a smile growing widely at the sight of a familiar stone face. Craig froze for just a moment, making brief eye contact, and he grunted in greeting before looking back down and stopping in front of his locker opposite Clyde’s. “Hey man,” Clyde continued, feeling a slight sting in his chest but forging onward anyway, “how’s it going?”

“Fine,” Craig replied tersely, and Clyde’s smile started to wane, try as he might to stop it. No, he wanted that smile so much. He wanted to be happy. He wanted his friend to talk to him, look at him with any expression besides annoyance or complete neutrality. He wanted a lot of things. With every day that passed, it seemed less likely he’d get any of them.

“How’s the fam?” Clyde asked, finally breaking his eye contact with Craig’s back to start lacing up his sneakers with new energy. Craig grunted again; Clyde’s smile lost another millimeter. His dimples started to fade.

“My dad was looking to part with some old junk you might wanna take a look at,” Clyde tried again, “friends and family discount? I mean, we’re not selling it or anything, but you can take first pick if you like.”

“Why would I want old junk you planned on throwing away in the first place?” Craig said, his voice somehow even flatter than usual, and Clyde officially lost the wind in his sails, slumping forward and cowering like a goddamn idiot. God, he was so stupid. Of course he wouldn’t. The air between them grew tense and awkward.

“Yeah, I guess you’ve got a point,” Clyde chuckled nervously, but when he realized he had nothing else to say, he let out the air he’d taken into his lungs to speak. Craig continued to unpack his things from his locker silently. He was hyper aware of the buzzing of the overhead lights, one of them sounding close to breaking and plunging them into the dark. It didn’t, though, and Craig left without another word.

Alone, with nothing but the ambient noise of a basement locker room to keep him company, Clyde mumbled, “Have a good one.” He didn’t like to let Craig leave without saying it. Maybe it hurt less if Craig wasn’t there to hear him. If he didn’t hear him, he couldn’t intentionally ignore him.

Clyde felt alone a lot, now.

He sang a song to himself as he walked home. He was never very good at singing, but it still felt good, and so he did. The empty streets made him feel much less self-conscious too, and the whistling winter winds provided an echo chamber to make any noise he wanted. Though it was an open street, in plain sight and broad daylight, it still felt private, and so he prayed.

“Hey, mom,” he started, putting a smile on his face for her. When Clyde prayed, he didn’t pray to God. “I’m pretty sad today.” He let the words hang around him, the words feeling wrong slipping past a grin. It helped though, to let it out, and so he did. “I’ve been sad a lot. I hope that’s okay.” Another pause. There was a snow pile that had caved into the walkway that was perfect for kicking, and so he did.

“This sucks, mom,” he admitted. “I wish Craig would talk to me. I wish people could smile more again. Am I not trying enough?” He used the silence as an answer. He turned the corner to start walking down his street. “I dunno. I think I’m doing okay. I think I’m proud of me.” The cold scratched his cheeks extra raw, and he shivered. “I hope Tweek gets better. I miss him, and Craig.”

The wind started scratching at his eyes too. “I miss Sarah,” he whispered. “I miss you. Dad misses you, too.” His next footstep hovered over its place, his will to move forward shattered. His shivering got worse. He doubted it was much warmer at home, the heat having been cut off over a month ago. There wasn’t much difference standing out here than standing in there, and maybe he wasn’t ready to say hello to his father yet. Maybe he needed his mom first.

“Please help them, mom,” he pleaded. Wetness made the wind hurt worse. “Craig needs your help more than I do. Help him first.” For some reason, the silence after his monologue felt much lonelier than usual. He wasn’t ready to fall apart yet though, not yet. He’d gotten this far. He’d watched his wife die, for God’s sake. He could handle his friend not speaking to him. ‘It’s more than that, though,’ the devil in his ear replied.

He stood there for a long time, the wind moving around him untroubled by his presence. His fingers grew numb the longer he stared at the snow, which was making his eyes water. It was the wind and the snow making them leak. He needed to believe that, or he wasn’t going to make it through.

“I love you,” he finally said, unsure who he was speaking to, and with resigned urgency prompted only by the stinging on his cheeks and in his fingers and toes, he trudged on.

[sarazanmai]

Thoughts on the “Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure” English dub. Episode twenty three.

I need some Jojo to wash the taste of SW discouragement from my mouth

oh Bloody Stream I’m gonna miss you when I wrap the BT episodes up

Kars just sounds so monotone in a way that doesn’t feel intentional, he’s never been a stoic character so this just feels wrong

a razor made of wind, not to be confused with Razor Wind from Pokemon

I’m sorry but I am at the point where I just want Wamuu to die already, I wanna get things rolling

THE HEADBAND!

its...opera time I guess

“and look, you see the bandana?” pretty sure he can’t see anything Joseph

and I’m never gonna dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm...

KABLAMMO

“you took revenge for Caesar” yeah but he was supposed to defeat you guys anyway since that’s literally our plot

just a reminder that this whole offering blood to make death easier on the enemy thing is something none of the other Jojos would do because why the fuck would they?

I get it, its showing Joseph’s compassion as Wamuu did have a measure of respect towards him and Caesar (something no other Jojo villain would do) but its still kinda weird to me

“hm hm hm. you beat me Jojo. and as a warrior it would now appear that you stand taller than I do” well you are a severed head and he’s 6′6

and now Wamuu uses himself as ammunition for a crossbow

only in Jojo

“perhaps the reason I have lived these thousands of years was so that I could meet you at the end” golly I don’t know why people think this series is gay

“Wamuu. he was too pure in his warrior philosophy. and he became weak as a result” oh you

dat haaaaaaaiiiirrr

“this world and all in it belong to me” Primadonna girl, yeah. all I ever wanted was the world.

also I am so used to the eye catchers from SDC and DIU that I half expect these to give me Stand statistics

and that picture of Kars with his tongue out sums up why I like him, he’s so flamboyant it hurts

so this one cockney vampire chronie remembered this season is in Europe, the rest however

“as you can see they are already dead” okay Kenshiro

so all the casual reminders that Lisa Lisa is a woman always felt to me like a combination of two things: the first is they are depicting 1938 and this sort of attitude was more rampant, the second is this manga its based on was written in the 80s and as Araki himself said people back then were not used to someone like Lisa Lisa so yeah

likewise its been said, and I’ll say it again, Araki wanted to go further with Lisa Lisa but was held back from doing so. some fans have said that he wanted her to defeat Kars, I haven’t personally found a source to that, but regardless we do know for a fact that he wanted to do more and was not allowed to. in a way I’m amazed at what he was able to do with her, especially when modern shonen manga still put the protagonist’s mother on the back burner or kill her for plot purposes. so that’s why I don’t get angry at him for her being put out of commission to make room for Joseph fighting Kars, I see that as something he was forced to do

“my scarf will be more than sufficient” bow down

that “huh?” Kars does when Lisa Lisa evades his sneak attack is hilarious

remember that line from the DIU manga that didn’t make it into the anime where Josuke says his grandma got hit by a car twice in the same day and was fine?

why did they cut that line?

“Jojo. think you can. beat. me???? heh. heh. mmm.” I’ll be fair, watching this clip I can tell the awkward pacing to his sentence is a mouth flap thing and Kars closes his lips after saying “think you can” but its still funny

I’ll say this about Will Barret, as Kars his voice is too monotone for my liking but those moments where the character’s personality really shines like that one laughing scene or his chuckle in the part I just referenced still come together well. he does not have the worst voice in this dub. Stroheim does.

that fake accent just sucks

oh wow German science was able to make lights really bright

this one shot of Joseph pointing at Kars looks like the knife cat meme

“Lisa Lisa is almost dead, but not completely yet” she’s only mostly dead

there’s the leg guitar thing!

its so fucking funny

“you utter bastard” I know, he thinks that’s what passes for music these days

“Jojo doesn’t know. he doesn’t know the woman he’s trying to save is his mother” aaaaand there it is!

I mean I don’t know when Araki decided to make Lisa Lisa his mother, but I’m very happy he did since as I just said even modern shonen series don’t put the mother in a position of importance unless she’s dead and that serves as some sort of motivator to the hero

but my word vomit on this topic will come a little later, just a little

tune in next time where I have a lot of feelings about this family

[highlineheartbeats]

Every Song on Taylor Swift’s reputation

As analyzed by Time Magazine

1. “…Ready For It?”: Starting things off with a thumping bass line and rallying cry, “…Ready For It?” also offers one of Swift’s prettiest melodies. “In the middle of the night, in my dreams, you should see the things we do,” she sings sweetly before switching into her new-era rap-singing. “He can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor,” she insists, name-checking a famous — and drama-filled — pairing, and setting the scene for the rest of the album’s investigation of the perils of stardom.

2. “End Game” (featuring Ed Sheeran and Future): Swift tapped her good friend Sheeran for this slow-jam-style track, a self-reflective — and self-aware — plea to both the listener and a lover. “I wanna be your end game,” Swift sings off the top, allowing in a little vulnerability — before jumping into a rap-sung chorus. “Big reputation, you and me we got big reputations,” she chants, recognizing the baggage that her stardom brings (and name-checking the album’s title, of course). Of-the-moment rapper Future of “Mask Off” success adds in a slick verse, sticking to the love-against-the-odds theme. Swift goes on to sing she doesn’t want to be an “ex-love” and that she isn’t into the drama; it’s just her burden to bear. This is peak Swift: emotionally open, but ready and willing to have some fun with the hype around her own persona. Sheeran’s contribution comes in the form of another rap-sung verse in the same vein, seeming to reference his own relationship and the pitfalls that fame has placed in his path to love. His advice? Ignore the rumors.

3. “I Did Something Bad”: Swift knows that her critics have strong opinions about her; after all, the album is called Reputation. And in the bombastic “I Did Something Bad,” she appears to address some of the narratives that have surrounded her. “I never trust a narcissist, but they love me / So I play them like a violin, and I make it look oh so easy,” she opens this one over a sharp string pluck. “If a man talks s–t then I owe him nothing.” Here is new-era Swift: holding her head high, unapologetic and fiercely protective of her own success. Then, a funky dubstep drop brings shades of her mega-hit “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” into the mix. Heavily electronically manipulated, and punctuated with a strong beat, it’s a banger of a track — and her defiant response to her detractors. “I never trust a playboy, but they love me,” she insists, stating matter of-factly that it’s best to “leave before you get left,” and hinting that maybe her splashy former relationships weren’t all they might have seemed. And then there’s the kicker: “They’re burning all the witches, even if you aren’t one,” she croons on an auto-tuned bridge. “Go ahead and light me up.” Of all the quotable lines in Swift’s oeuvre, this one is right up there at the top for its blazing imagery.

4. “Don’t Blame Me”: If you’re a fan of Avicii or Kygo’s brand of un-rushed atmospheric electro-pop, you might like the rich, vibey notes Swift brings together in “Don’t Blame Me,” a moody, dark song that starts out swinging and pretty, and builds into a gospel-backed EDM anthem. “Don’t blame me, love made me crazy / if it doesn’t you ain’t doin’ it right,” she sings emphatically. “Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I be using for the rest of my life.” Swift has endured criticism for her relationships: the fact that she’s in them, the fact that she sings about them. “Don’t Blame Me” could be a clapback to that criticism, reminding listeners that the heart simply wants what it wants, as her friend Selena Gomez once said.

5. “Delicate”: Swift is, appropriately enough, at her most fragile on “Delicate.” Refreshingly honest, it’s a melodic electro-ballad with a resonant refrain. “My reputation’s never been worse so, you must like me for me,” she muses, her voice a light wisp, in a wry nod to her year in the spotlight before breaking down her insecurities: “Is it cool that I said all that? Is it too soon to do this yet?” Like pretty much anyone dealing with a new crush, Swift sings of moments of doubt. Perhaps even superstars have their sore spots. She couches this sweetly uncertain song in snippets of dates — at a dive bar, in her apartment — but keeps it about her circular internal monologue, always questioning just how much her feelings are being reciprocated.

6. “Look What You Made Me Do”: Swift’s lead single — and immediate chart-topper following its release — “LWYMMD” was a shocking reintroduction to the Swift of Reputation: hard, unapologetic, focused on retribution. Step aside, “Bad Blood,” this song is much more cutting. “I’ve got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined,” she reminded her haters over a Right Said Fred sample. The propulsive beat and insistence that the old Taylor was “dead” only sharpened her point.

7. “So It Goes…”: Here, she switches things back to romance, reflecting on just how a new love interest might help her out of her fixations: “you make everyone disappear,” she explains in the moody, murky opening segment, which opens into a trap-lite chorus about getting caught up in the moment (and, of course, leaving some signature lipstick “on your face”). But for life with Swift, that’s just how it goes. “I’m yours to keep, and yours to lose. You know I’m not a bad girl, but I’ll do bad things with you,” she adds with a wink; this version of Swift has made a marked departure from her squeaky-clean roots as America’s Nashville sweetheart.

8. “Gorgeous”: Yes, that’s Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds’s baby daughter James opening up “Gorgeous” with a gurgle. But the rest of the song deals with adult topics. Over a bubbling, chime-like beat, Swift sings about the irresistible power of attraction — even when it’s not the best idea. “You’re so gorgeous, it actually hurts,” she sings with frustration. “There’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have.” Despondent, she talks of heading home to hang out with her cats — and then, with a wink, invites her object of attention to join her.

9. “Getaway Car”: Told as a dramatic story of a heist and an ill-fated love adventure over shimmering 80s-style production, “Getaway Car” is one of Swift’s most metaphor-driven tracks on the album. “We never had a shotgun shot in the dark,” she sings with a rebellious twang. “Nothing good starts in a getaway car.” Swift’s has often had its fair share of melodrama; remember “Into the Woods”? In “Getaway Car,” though, she calls herself a “traitor” who turns in her erstwhile partner in crime. Looks like Swift might be willing to flirt with the dark side, but she’s no good at following through with crimes — of the legal kind, or of the heart. Instead, she says, she takes the keys and leaves the guy stranded at a motel. It’s no happy ending, but it’s a reminder that Swift isn’t afraid to assert her independence.

10. “King of My Heart”: Taylor Swift has always been good at love songs. In “King of My Heart” she hits her sweet spot, over a synth-heavy track and strategic auto-tune assist. “I’m perfectly fine, I live on my own, I made up my mind I’m better off bein’ alone,” she starts off. But it doesn’t stay that way for long; after meeting a (evidently non-American) paramour who pursues her, the story (and the song) go straight into the romance. “You’re the one I have been waiting for,” she gushes, dissing some other guys with “their fancy cars” who didn’t quite measure up to this new interest. And yes, the character in the title is indeed the king of her heart — and body, and soul.

11. “Dancing With Our Hands Tied”: Although it starts off as a down-tempo, melancholy kind of tune, “Dancing With Our Hands Tied” adds in Swift’s now-rote trap-lite drop to amp up the drama on this will-we-won’t-we tale of star-crossed lovers separated by an unkind fate. “I had a bad feeling,” she suggests about the romantic interest, but she goes on to dance with him anyway; some chemistry just can’t be denied.

12. “Dress”: “I only bought this dress so you could take it off,” Swift sings slyly on “Dress,” her most overtly sexual work yet. She wants her lover to carve his name into her bedpost; her hands shake in anticipation. A breathy, synth-y track with lots of whispery vocals, Swift is unequivocal about her interest in this person as much more than a friend. “Made your mark on me; a golden tattoo,” she sings cryptically. It’s a departure from her usually PG approach to love songs, emblematic of a Swift who’s claiming her maturity more than ever.

13. “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things”: Kicking things off with a siren sound, Swift strips it back to a stomping call-out of the haters, a giddy sister of sorts to dark lead single “Look What You Made Me Do.” “Why’d you have to rain on my parade?” she asks, her voice petulant, sneering with humor and attitude. “This is why we can’t have nice things, darling: because you break them, I have to take them away.” When she tries to go diplomatic — “forgiveness is a nice thing to do” goes one line, sung in an angelic lilt — she breaks the fourth wall with a burst of sharp laughter. Swift is no longer willing to “Shake It Off,” as she once tried to do.

14. “Call It What You Want”: Maybe the most by-the-book Swift song on Reputation, “Call It What You Want” is a slow-burning meditation on the transformative power of relationships, filled with lyrical puns: “All the liars are calling me one,” she sighs at one point. “All my flowers grew back as thorns.” But this is still a love letter, and a reminder that Swift has moved on from the fray around her so-called “reputation.” “My baby’s fly like a jetstream, high above the whole scene,” she sings proudly, making it clear that the baby in question has taken her along for the ride.

15. “New Year’s Day”: Her one acoustic piano ballad on the album, “New Year’s Day” is a tender and intimate love song. The snapshots are sweet and evocative: glitter on the floor after a party, candle wax and polaroids on the hardwood floor, holding hands in the backseat of a taxi. “Hold on to the memories,” she repeats in the chorus, “and I will hold on to you.” Nostalgic for the moment even as it’s happening, it’s a lovely, effecting closer, letting Swift’s voice and earnest message shine without the complications of over-production. She may get her kicks with big pop anthems, but vulnerable ballads like this one are just as much a part of her musical DNA.

Lifted from Time Magazine