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sheerfreesia007 · 4 years ago

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Fallin’ All In You (Pt. 53)

Title: Fallin’ All In You (Pt. 53)

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x Reader

Author: @sheerfreesia007

Words: 2,907

Warnings: Fluff, Seductive words

Tags: @synystersilenceinblacknwhite, @two-unbeatable-beaters, @randomness501, @sevvysaurus, @paryl, @talesfromtheguild, @secretsihideinside, @agingerindenial

Permanent Tag List: @paintballkid711, @fioccodineveautunnale

Author Notes: You guys!!! I LOVED this chapter! Absolutely loved it and I am soooo excited to share it with you. I am so proud of this chapter. I hope you all enjoy. Feedback is always welcome.

Gif Credit: Googel & Pinterest

“So it’ll be an easy walk through the woods but if you need to stop just let me know. Alright darlin’?” Jack says as he parks the Bronco. It’s your third anniversary and Jack had suggested taking a nice quiet nature walk in the woods not far from your luxury hotel that he had whisked you away to. Jack had picked the same area that your first mission was in to take you on a small celebratory vacation. Smiling to yourself you slowly climb out of the Bronco and look around you at the woods in front of you. You smirk softly and look over at Jack as he begins to walk around the hood of the truck.

“Are we going to the safehouse?” you ask playing dumb and tilt your head at him smirking. Your smirk deepens as you watch him falter in step and look up at your with wide eyes.

“It was supposed to be a surprise.” He states with a grimace and a large happy smile forms on your face as he gets closer to you. Moving to him you wrap your arms around him both hands holding onto your cane as he wraps his arms around you. You both stare into each other’s eyes smiling softly.

“C’mon Jack how was I not supposed to pick up on that?” you ask kindly. He looks at you with a guilty look on his face. “Besides you’re the most nostalgic and sentimental man I have ever met. I’m kinda surprised it’s taken you this long to get us back here.” You admit to him and his smile widens on his face. He knew you weren’t being unkind when you called him nostalgic and sentimental.

“Alright Miss Know-It-All let’s get going then I wanna get there before it gets too dark to see.” He says as he rests a hand at your lower back and guides you to the tree line where you can see a hiking trail.

The woods were beautiful in the late afternoon as you walked at a leisure pace. Jack walked next to you easily keeping pace and not rushing you. The thumping sound of your cane was muffled by the leaves that lined the forest floor. Thankfully there weren’t a lot of roots on this hiking trail so it wasn’t too much of a strain on your knee.

The silence between you two was comforting and it made the woods around you feel like they were encasing you in their magic. You watched as shadows from the dense canopy of the trees danced along the ground, the light from the sun was only able to break through the canopy in certain areas and it casted sunbeams in the air that took your breath away. You could hear creatures scurrying away from you and Jack as you made your way further and further into the forest.

The hushed atmosphere made you feel safe and as if you could tell any secret that you held close to your chest without anyone else hearing it. Smiling widely you darted your eyes over to Jack and studied him. He was dressed in a well-worn brown tweed vest over a hunter green button up shirt that he had rolled the sleeves up to his elbows, and a trusty pair of jeans. His look was completed with his old brown leather cowboy boots and his black Stetson. After seeing the man in suits all the time this was a nice change and you found your heart fluttering with affection to handsome you found him. Looking back down at your own dark wash boot cut jeans you smiled widely again before looking back up.

“What tipped you off?” you asked with amusement as you two continued to walk. Jack looked over at you and raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Tipped me off about what?” he questioned confused. You let your eyes map out your path before turning your head towards him, you didn’t want to fall and injury yourself.

“What tipped you off that you were in love with me?” you asked with a bright smile. Jack stared at you quietly and you suddenly became self conscious. “Well I mean it’s our three year anniversary together I figured it’d be a good day as any to open up about what brought us together.” You rattled off and waved your free hand out in front of you. You could feel your nerves sky rocketing and making you anxious, like you had overstepped somehow. But as your eyes darted up to look at Jack again you saw him smirking softly at you and you huffed knowing he was teasing you again. “Oh never mind, forget I asked.” You huffed softly shaking your head.

“Oh no, no, no darlin’. You asked so I’m going to give you an answer.” Jack crooned at you in a soft warm voice and suddenly he was sweeping you up in his arms, spinning you around in the air. You laughed delightedly as he easily set you back down on your feet and looked down grinning at you. “Let’s see what tipped me off that I was in love with you?” he mused teasingly at you and you smirked softly at him as he lazily walked you backwards down the trail. “I would say it was when we sparred that time before our first mission together. I knew I was attracted to you and I was harboring a huge horrendous embarrassing crush on you for at least three months at that point. You were just adorable and sexy whenever you presented facts during briefings and I couldn’t get enough of you. I actually begged Tequila to let me tag along on some of your nights out with him just so I could get closer to you.” Jack explained almost embarrassed by what he was saying.

You stared up at him in surprise though. You remembered that span of time that he was talking about. When Jack had started showing up to your hang outs with Tequila more often you had questioned Tequila about it but he had just shrugged you off saying that the older agent wanted to hang out while he was in town and the three of you often shared schedules. You hadn’t thought that Jack could actually be attracted to you, not when he was a productive senior agent and you were just an up and coming field agent former lab rat. The fact that he had confessed that he had a crush on you for three months kinda knocked you off kilter. Jack “Whiskey” Daniels was crushing on you while you were crushing on him.

“Yeah I would say as soon as you managed to knock me on my ass during that sparring I was in love. In fact I’m pretty sure you knocked me head over heels in love with you when you did that.” Jack teased softly and you laughed delighted shaking your head. As Jack set you on your feet and steadied you before grasping your free hand softly in his and starting back on your path. “Yup I love it when a woman shows how strong she is and you besting me did that flawlessly.” He finished as he swung your hands between the two of you while you walked. You chuckled softly and looked down at the ground bashfully. “Now same question for you. What tipped you off that you were in love with me?” Jack questioned warmly as he turned his head towards you. Smiling you looked at him out of the corner of your eye.

“It was when I saw you knock into that brand new lab tech.” you said softly fondly remembering the instance. Jack looked at you confused and you smile widened. “And the fact that you don’t remember what I’m talking about speaks in further about your character.” You said proudly. “You were walking down by the labs on your way to the gym I would assume. You weren’t watching where you were going and crashed into this young lab tech that had just joined the lab. He was a nervous little thing now that I think back on it. But anyway he was carrying a whole stack of files and when you crashed into him all of his files fell to the floor and papers went everywhere. And while I thought you would continue on and not help him you proved me wrong and showed me a different side to you.” You explained softly still smiling widely at the memory you held of him. “You stayed and helped him clean up every last paper apologizing repeatedly as you helped. And when you had gotten every paper cleaned up you made sure that he was alright before you left to continue on wherever you were off to.” You continued telling him and noticed the warm smile on his face.

“That’s what tipped you off? It wasn’t even a moment when it was with both of us?” he asked confused but still smiling. You nodded your head and licked your lips softly.

“See by watching you help that lab tech it showed me that you are a compassionate man who helps out anyone and everyone. It showed me that you are a good man and someone that I could safely fall in love with.” You explained ardently as you gazed at him with love filled eyes.

“Darlin’.” Jack said softly and you smiled shyly before tugging his hand to make him continue walking.

“C’mon I can see the cabin from here.” You said softly trying to change the subject. Jack allowed you to continue leading him towards the cabin and while your back was turned to him he slipped his hand into his jeans pocket fingering the little jewelry box that was going to change both of your lives.

It didn’t take the two of you very long to reach the cabin and thankfully it didn’t because the sun was beginning it’s descent in the sky. Dusk was quickly settling over the forest and you could feel the cold starting to creep in. Shivering softly you idly wondered how the two of you were going to get back to Jack’s Bronco in the dark. Choosing not to worry about and trusting Jack to get you home safely you reached for the door of the cabin.

There was a soft glow coming from the two windows on the front side of the cabin and you tilted your head slightly at that before turning the knob and opening the front door of the cabin. When you walked inside you gasped softly.

The cabin had been completely remodeled. It was still a one room cabin with a bathroom but the space had new floors, fresh paint and repairs to the windows and doors as well. You looked around the cabin in awe, fairy lights were hung along all the walls and over the large king sized bed that sat on the far right side of the cabin. The lights gave off a soft glow that seemed to encompass the whole cabin. You felt excitement bubble up inside of you at the surprise that you knew Jack had planned. Knowing that this man had put such thought into redoing the cabin where you first confessed your love for him made your chest tight and your heart beat rapidly.

Turning slowly from where you stood you noticed the small round table that sat on the left side of the cabin by the kitchenette. You grinned widely as you saw the candle lit dinner that lay on it and turned to Jack who was watching you cautiously.

“You did all this for me?” you asked softly still feeling the tightness in your chest. Jack smiled warmly at you and walked over to you. He cupped your cheeks softly in his hands and kissed you deeply.

“I’d do anything for you.” He whispered against your lips once he pulled away.

“Oh Jack.” You sighed out to him and he smiled widely at you.

“C’mon darlin’ before the food gets cold.” He said softly.

The two of you ate the delicious dinner that he had planned out for the two of you to celebrate your anniversary. It was a stunning meal of Chicken Parmesan over linguine. There was also champagne and desert waiting for the two of you once you finished your meal.

“So who did you get to trek all the way out here to lay out our dinner in time for us to come here?” you asked teasingly and Jack smirked over at you across the table. His hand came up to thread his fingers with yours.

“I can’t give up all of my surprises now can I darlin’?” he teased back at you and you grinned widely.

“This is beautiful Jack. What made you redo the cabin?” you asked softly.

“Well the safe house needed it. That night after we had slept here I went to Champ to talk about redoing it so it’d be comfortable for the next agent who had to stay here. Not to mention when you confessed to me I knew I would have to eventually bring you back here, and I wanted it to be redone for that time also.” He explained easily shrugging his shoulders.

“Oh you knew that you would have to bring me back here, why?” you asked curiously as you turned in your chair to look over at the whole room of the cabin. It really was a lovely cabin now that it had been remodeled.

“Well to ask you a very important question.” Jack said matter of factly. You furrowed your eyebrows at his words and turned back to ask him what he meant.

But when you turned back Jack was kneeling on one knee next to your chair holding a small black velvet box open in his hand. You gasped as you took in his whole appearance. He was smiling tenderly at you and his eyes never strayed from your face. Yours darted all around his face taking him in.

“Darlin’ from the moment I met you down in the lab that fateful day there was something about you that caught my attention. Now I was slow on the pick up but eventually I understood it.” Jack began his speech and you chuckled softly at his words. “While it took me a good while to get it when I truly fully got it, I knew you were going to be it for me. You have become my best friend. My confidante. My partner. My whole world. My darlin’.” He confessed softly to you and you could feel the tears beginning to form in your eyes as your lungs constricted for air. “I want to add another name to that list I’ve got going.” He said to you confidently with a wide grin on his face and you waited with baited breath. “My wife. So darlin’ will you marry me?” he finished softly and you gasped out softly.

“Yes. Of course I will Jack.” You whispered to him and watched as his eyes dilated and his grin grew even wider. Your own smile was making your cheeks hurt but you didn’t care. Jack hugged you tightly and you felt your heart explode in your chest. When he pulled back he kissed you deeply.

“C’mere let’s get this ring on you.” He mused warmly to you after pulling back. And you watched as he slid the beautiful ring onto your left ring finger. You admired it quietly and then looked up grinning at Jack. Tears were still gathered in the corners of your eyes as leaned over and kissed him again.

“It’s beautiful Jack.” You admitted and saw his proud smile.

“I designed it specifically for you. But it doesn’t hold a candle darlin’.” He confessed warmly to you. You smiled softly at him felt yourself melting under his affection.

“It really is beautiful.” You sighed out softly as you stared straight into his eyes and watched a soft blush creep up his cheeks. He cleared his throat then and reached for the champagne and flutes that were on the table.

“C’mon I think this celebration deserves to be in bed.” He said with a wink thrown towards you. You laughed delightedly as you watched him walk towards the king sized bed.

“Jack Daniels are you trying to seduce me into bed with you?” you asked in a mock outraged tone. You watched as he looked over his shoulder at you a salacious look in his eyes.

“I don’t future Mrs. Daniels. Why don’t you tell me?” he crooned to you and instantly you felt your body heat up at his words. Future Mrs. Daniels. Jesus, Mary and Joseph this man was going to kill you. With a determined look in your eye you got up from your chair and made your way over to Jack who was now standing at the foot of the bed after setting the champagne and flutes on his end table.

“You can seduce me all you want Mr. Daniels.” You cooed at him as you placed your hands on his chest and leaned up on tip toe to press a heated kiss against his mouth. Jack groaned lowly against your lips and you shivered slightly.

“Oh I intend to darlin’.” Jack said seductively before wrapping his arms around you. “Oh I intend to.”

#fallin' all in you #agent whiskey #agent whiskey x reader #my writing #kingsman the golden circle

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robinrunsfiction · 4 years ago

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can you do a smutty vampire mikey fic please

Bite Me, Baby

Pairing: Vampire Mikey Way x Female Reader Rating: Mature (Smut) Requested By: Anon Word Count: ~2300 Author’s Note: I really don’t know how this story ended up so long, but there’s some fluff for good measure.

It was a typical Thursday happy hour after work with your friend Christine and her coworker Becky. You were doing your best to have a good time, but something about Becky irritated you to no end and you were trying to think of any excuse to leave sooner rather than later. After another story from Becky that went on way too long, you felt your phone vibrating in your purse.

“Tonight?” the text read. You couldn’t help the smile that crept across your face as you replied.

“Who are you texting?” Becky asked incredulously.

“Is it your vampire boyfriend?” Christine asked.

“Vampire?” The word dripped from Becky’s mouth. “You’re dating some guy who thinks he’s a vampire?”

“His name is Mikey, and yes, he is a vampire,” you smirked.

“So he takes you out on dates and then drinks your blood?” Becky rolled her eyes. “Yea right.”

You dropped some money on the table to cover the cost of your drink, and stood up. “You’re half right,” you replied as you pulled down the collar of your high neck top to show two healing puncture wounds on your neck.

“Holy shit,” she replied in awe.

“Have a fun night,” Christine laughed knowingly.

“Bye,” you waved over your shoulder as you headed out.

You had met Mikey at a Halloween party where his vampire costume, with some of the most authentic looking fangs you’d ever seen, caught your attention. After making a cheesy joke about donating blood, as you were dressed as a sexy nurse, you found yourself alone with him, making out hot and heavy on the hosts’ bed when you felt the sharp teeth glance across your neck.

“Are you gonna bite me with those things?” You asked breathlessly as he continued to pepper your neck with kisses.

“Can I?” He asked, pulling back and you could see the hunger in his eyes.

“Wait, you’re not really… no, they’re not real,” you stammered and sat up.

“I really am a vampire,” he replied.

You didn’t know how to respond. “Then why haven’t you already bit me?” You finally stammered out.

“Because that’s rude. And I’d hate to make a bad first impression and have this be our last encounter," he said, his fingertips grazing your cheek, down to your jaw, then dancing across the side of your neck.

All logical thought had left your brain as you considered what he was asking. “What if I taste bad?”

“There’s no way that’s possible,” he replied with a smirk.

You nodded. “You know what? Sure, it’s Halloween, let’s do this right. Bite me, baby.”

From that night on, Mikey had been dropping by your place regularly to hook up, or drink your blood, sometimes both. It had been an arrangement that worked out well because you really liked Mikey, he was funny and interesting, not to mention hot as hell and really good in bed. But as you walked back to your apartment something Becky had said was nagging at your mind.

You never went on dates. You weren’t actually boyfriend and girlfriend like Christine had teased. You just had this symbiotic relationship that was on every level purely physical. But you had grown fond of him, and you couldn’t help but wonder if he maybe liked you for more than just a lay and a meal.

On a typical night, Mikey would have leapt to the fire escape outside your window, but it had been a while since he had been able to come around and he was weak from hunger.

He climbed the metal framework on the side of your building until he was outside your bedroom window. You had left the blinds open and as he looked inside, he could see your sleeping form in bed.

He tapped on the glass and your eyes fluttered open, smiling once you realized what had woken you.

"Hey, come in," you greeted him as he clambered in, less than gracefully. "What do you need tonight?"

"Blood," he replied sitting on the edge of your bed. His voice sounded weak to you, so you knew he meant it.

"Ok," you replied softly as you sat down, pulling your hair back from your neck.

He leaned in, lips pressing against the spot he always bit. Then the fangs sank in. You gasped at the pain, but as always, it subsided quickly once he started to drink. Then the gasps that escaped your lips turned to those of pleasure at the sensation of his lips on your neck.

When he finally pulled back and placed one last tender kiss on the wound, you found yourself feeling lightheaded.

"Are you ok?" He asked when he noticed you blinking hard.

"I'm ok, I'm just gonna lay back down," you replied. Mikey kicked off his shoes and climbed in next to you, holding you close as you rested your head against his chest.

"What's on your mind?" He asked after a few minutes of silence.

There was no use denying when something was off. It wasn't that he had the ability to read your mind, but sometimes it felt like he did with how easily he could certainly sense when things were off with you. “When I was out tonight, this girl asked if we went on dates, but we don’t really and I kinda started wondering... what we are.”

The look of surprise on Mikey’s face quickly changed to a thoughtful one. “(YN), would you like to go out tomorrow night?”

“Mikey no, don’t feel like you have to take me out on a pity date,” you said burying your face against his chest.

“No, it’s not that,” he said, pressing a kiss against the top of your head and squeezing you tighter as you looked up. “I don’t think I’ve properly conveyed what you mean to me. Can I try to make it up to you?”

You sighed. "Not a pity date?"

"Absolutely not."

"Ok, then yes, we can go out tomorrow night."

The next evening after work you hurried home and changed into a nice outfit. Mikey had left a note before he slipped out the night before that you didn't need to worry about dressing up for the date and he'd be around after dusk to pick you up.

You were still in the bathroom getting your hair just right when the intercom for your door buzzed. You hurried to let Mikey into the building. When your doorbell rang, you couldn’t believe that you actually felt nervous. You had spent so many nights with him, but this was your first real date.

“Hi, oh!” You were surprised that Mikey had brought a bouquet of deep red roses. “Thank you.”

“You look beautiful,” he complimented, his smile almost shy and you couldn’t help but grin in response.

“Thanks. What did you have planned tonight?”

“Follow me,” he replied as he took your hand and lead you out to his car.

Mikey drove out of town, one hand on the steering wheel, the other on your knee. The road climbed upward as the trees grew more dense until eventually he pulled into a clearing at the top of the hill.

“What is all this?” You asked in awe as Mikey parked. There was a tree with twinkling fairy lights strung up carefully and below it a blanket was spread. Mikey grabbed a bag from the backseat and smiled at you as you headed to sit down in the glow of the lights.

“I brought dessert,” he said as he unloaded the bag with pastries, cupcakes and other sweets, “and coffee,” he said, pulling out a large thermos.

“Yes,” you grinned as he poured you a cup. There was a chill in the air, and clouds blocked out the stars above, but the twinkling lights more than made up for it. You took a cupcake and leaned against Mikey’s side contentedly. “This is quite impressive. How did you manage to get these lights up before coming to pick me up?”

“I had help from my friend Ray,” he replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

“A human friend?”

“Yea. But I don’t bite him, if you’re wondering.”

“So I’m your only,” you paused searching for the right word, “food source?”

Mikey laughed. “Yea, you can say that.” You laughed too, but the question from the night still lingered in your mind. What were you and Mikey, other than a source of food for him? But once again, he seemed to sense what you were thinking. “But that’s not all you are to me.”

You glanced up and saw the look of concern on his face. “What do you mean?”

He nodded. “You mean everything to me. I’ve never met anyone who was so willing to put themselves on the line for me like you have. Plus you’re beautiful and funny and kind.”

You couldn’t help the smile that cracked across your face. “Mikey, you don’t have to say all that.”

“I do, because I’m in love with you (YN).”

You were stunned. You had no idea that his feelings ran that deep. Suddenly butterflies filled your stomach and your smile grew even bigger. “I love you too Mikey.”

He grinned back, relief evident in his eyes. He leaned in and kissed you deeply. You shifted so you were straddling his legs, not breaking the kiss, as his hand ran over your back and you played with his hair.

It started slowly, with big heavy raindrops falling down around you, but neither of you noticed until the rain really started to fall.

“Oh my god!” you exclaimed, as you started to feel your shirt getting wet.

“Let's get in the car,” Mikey suggested as you got up.

“Wait, the food!” You cried, grabbing the treats, and tossing them in the bag as he grabbed the thermos and blanket and hurried to the vehicle. When you were both inside, you couldn’t help but crack up laughing. Mikey’s neatly combed back hair, was now hanging in dripping strands, and you were certain you didn’t look much better.

“What?” Mikey asked, unable to keep from laughing as well.

“We look like a couple of drowned rats,” you laughed, although it was hardly audible over the rain that was pouring down on the car, and the rumble of thunder in the distance.

Mikey laughed, and shook his head before running his hand through his hair. “We should probably wait for the storm to pass before we go.”

“We should probably get out of these wet clothes, wouldn’t want to catch a cold,” you suggested with a wink.

“Getting sick isn’t something I have to worry about, but I’d hate for you to get sick, love,” he said shrugging off his black coat and pulling off his striped scarf.

You peeled off your top and climbed into the backseat of the car. You shimmied out of your pants and tossed them into the front seat as well. Mikey was pulling off his clothes as well before joining you.

In the dim light of the fairy lights in the tree outside, you were able to make out the expression on his face. He was looking at you with awe, even though he’d seen you in all states of undress, but things were different now. “I should have told you every day how beautiful you are.”

You blushed and put your hands over your face, but he pulled them away before leaning in to kiss you again. Your hands found the hem of his shirt and broke the kiss to pull it over his head. You slid down, until you were laying back, his hips pinned against yours. Mikey’s hands ran down your sides and then back up to your chest as his lips trailed from yours to your jaw, then your neck. He tenderly kissed the freshly opened wound on your neck from the night before.

“My everything,” he murmured against the spot.

“Yours,” you sighed.

Things moved swiftly from there, with the rest of your clothes coming off, discarded to the front seats as the windows started to steam up. His lips were all over you, kissing down your body until he was leaving marks across your thighs, then he was dipping a finger inside you as his tongue found your clit. The sensation made you shiver as his fingers, like the rest of him were cold to the touch. Moans spilled from your lips, sounding like music to Mikey’s ears.

“Baby, I’m close,” you breathed.

He hummed in acknowledgement before slipping his digit out, kissing back up your body. “You ready for me?”

“Yea,” you nodded excitedly as he shifted up, his lips meeting yours as he pressed into you. The pace he set was slow and steady as you rolled your hips to meet him. Your gasps and his moans drown out by the rain pounding on the roof of the car and more rumbles of thunder.

His lips were again on your neck, kissing and leaving marks that for once weren’t bite marks. “I love you (YN), you’re my everything,” he murmured again and again like a mantra as his pace picked up.

“Love you too, Mikey” you moaned. “I’m close again, can you bite me again?”

When he heard your request, he looked up and locked eyes with you, the passion written across his face was undeniable. His pace quickened as he began kissing your neck. “Tell me when.”

“Now,” you moaned and as you came around him he bit down. Then the feeling of him coming undone as well completely overwhelmed you completely.

Minutes later as you caught your breath, he kissed away the last of the blood from your neck.

“I mean it, you’re everything to me,” he said again as he caressed your cheek. “I hope you never have to worry about that ever again.”

“I don’t think I will,” you smiled back.

#mikey way x reader #vampire!mikey way x reader #Anon #mikey way fan fic #mikey way fan fiction #mikey way imagine #my chemical romance fan fic #my chemical romance fan fiction

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certain-as-the-sun · 4 years ago

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Love Me Anyway

A/N: Companion piece to “Hey Jealousy.” INspired by the duet “Love Me Anyway” by Pink and Chris Stapleton

Love Me Anyway

Even if you see my scars, even if I break your heart

If we're a million miles apart, do you think you'd walk away?

If I get lost in all the noise, even if I lose my voice

Flirt with all the other boys, what would you say?

Could you?

Could you love me anyway?

They spent the night in each other's arms, fully clothed. Emotions were too raw to even think about more. Adam lay awake with Belle in his arms, her head resting against his chest. The slow and steadiness of her breathing was the only sound in the room. It felt so strange to him to be in the master bedroom of Belle’s house. For so long it had been her father’s room, hers now since Maurice’s passing. He still expected the older man to come in and catch them together.

It felt so good, so right for Adam to be lying here with Belle. He knew it would be slow going. Slower than even before. She wouldn’t let him cross boundaries until she was ready. They had talked until the early hours of the morning, lying together. He apologized and she listened.

“I’m never going back to what I was before,” Adam said, turning to look her in the eye.

“Never say never,” Belle warned, tucking a stray piece of his hair out of his face. “You’ve said never before. It never stuck.”

He let out a sigh and hugged her close. “I have missed you every day for the last three years.”

She wasn’t sure how to respond. She had missed him too, her Adam. The Adam that was kind and generous. The Adam who would take walks with her in the park. The Adam who defended her from his asshole friend. But the Adam she didn’t miss was the drunk Adam making lewd phone calls to her. The Adam who would take off for days at a time with no word. She didn’t miss wondering if he was alive or dead. She didn’t miss driving all over town checking his usual haunts to bring him home and dry him out. She didn’t miss holding his head when he threw up after a binge.

“Maybe not every day, but I did miss you,” Belle admitted. “I was very angry with you for a long time. I had no kindness towards you for nearly a year. You put me through hell, Adam. There’s no other way to describe it.”

He took a deep breath. “I deserve that,” he said, loosening his hold on her. “There are so many things I am not proud of. Betraying you, that’s at the top of the list. Has been and always will be.”

If there was one thing she could give him a great deal of credit for was that even in the darkest of times, he never cheated on her. He had never been with another girl. Adam’s definition of betrayal was breaking promises, going back on something he said. He’d nearly done it before, and swore he’d never do it again.

Adam had broken his promise to Belle was when she’d left for school and was living on campus. She was lonely. Her roommate Babette was rushing a sorority and didn’t have much interest in the academic side of university. Belle spoke to Adam on the phone nearly every night. She missed him. Worried that he wasn’t behaving himself. She had enough to worry about. Her father had a fall at home while he was alone. She called Cogsworth to go check on him when he wasn’t answering the phone. Maurice had broken his hip and was in a rehab center getting round the clock nursing care. It killed her to be away from him when he was in such bad shape. Lumiere took it upon himself to be Maurice’s cheering section. He came to visit him nearly every day.

When he got on the train to see her for the first time since she left for school, Adam had every intention of behaving himself. She needed him. Not his demons. He stepped off the train and glanced around the unfamiliar station, trying to remember where she told him to go. A flatscreen hanging from a nearby pillar said it was two-thirty. He was early. Really early. Her last class wouldn’t get out until after four. He left the station and walked towards campus, making a wrong turn and ending up on Greek Row or “Sin City” as the locals would call it. Greek Row, home to the university’s fraternity and sorority houses. Adam looked up and down the street, feeling like he had walked into a movie set. The street itself divided the houses, the frats on the even side of the street, the sororities on the odd.

Fliers for parties and other Greek events littered the sidewalk. He picked up one; a house party at Kappa Nu Delta for that night. It sounded like fun. He folded it up and stuffed it in his pocket. The only reason his dads let him come to see Belle alone was because he had met his six month goal of sobriety. They trusted him. Maybe he and Belle could hit up some of the parties, for the social networking after they had dinner. Needing to kill time and not wanting to invade Belle’s dorm room too soon, Adam sat on a bench right outside the Kappa Nu house. He scrolled through his phone, looking for a good place to take the love of his life out to dinner.

A football nearly severed his head if he hadn’t ducked. A guy in board shorts and flip-flops ran up to him.

“Oh dude! Wicked save!” he said. “Can’t be all that easy to read your screen out here in the sun. We got shade and brews on the lawn if you’re interested.”

Like the Pied Piper leading the rats to the ledge, Adam walked over to the big umbrella with the guy. “Dude, I’m Clyde, president of this mighty house. Welcome to the pre-bacchanal bacchanal.”

Remembering his promise to Belle and his dads, he sat in the shade and drank only water. He enjoyed just sitting with people who don’t know his history.

“Dude, I’ve never seen you before,” Clyde said sitting in the lawn chair next to him. “And I’d totally remember your face. Gnarly scars dude.”

“Just visiting my girl,” Adam said, taking a swig from the water bottle. “She’s in class.”

“Can I get you something other than water? The face you’re making is telling me water isn’t your drink of choice.”

Stoli, straight from the bottle. His mind was turning on him. Afternoon classes were starting to wind down. More people were descending on Greek Row. He needed to leave, now, find Belle and get on with their weekend visit like he planned. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He took out and stared at her photo on the screen.

“That your girl?”

“That’s my Belle,” Adam said, scrolling over his phone so he could see her face unobstructed by the apps on his phone. “She’s the best.”

“Then what the hell you doing sulking here? Go get your girl and get back here. We light the goat at dusk!”

Reading her text, his smile faded. Classes are running late. I won’t be back at my dorm until after six. I’m sorry.

“Got any vodka?” Adam asked, shoving his phone angrily deep into his pocket.

* * *

Where was he? Belle wondered. He hadn’t texted her back after she told him her classes were running behind. Maybe he was holed up at the library, thinking it the best place to find her. She started there. No Adam. The student union building? No Adam. She had that feeling. That deep her in gut feeling that he had done something stupid. She didn’t want to check but she knew that’s where he was.

Opening Instagram she clicked on the tag for her school’s Greek Row. His face popped up on twelve different posts. Six months gone. She tapped on a video of him having some blonde bimbo pouring something down his throat. They both cheered when he swallowed it all. This girl was all over Adam but he kept pushing her away. Angrily she shut the app and threw her phone on her bed. This was not how she wanted to spend her Friday night, tracking down Adam on Greek Row.

She took her purse and loaded it up with the standard “Dry Adam out” gear. Water bottles, Advil, crackers. At least she was unknown here by most of the Greeks so she wouldn’t be so embarrassed by his actions. Making her way through campus to Greek Row she couldn’t stop herself from getting mad. Tears stung her eyes as she walked through campus. She knocked into people, not bothering to stop and apologize. She was mad at her schedule. Mad at the earliness of his train. But mostly, she was furious at him for doing this to her. It was the first time they were in the same place in so long. She had been looking forward to seeing him, and congratulating him in person on his six months of sobriety. But now she was furious that he lacked the will power to just walk away. She would never understand his addiction. She couldn’t fathom how he could keep going back to the one thing that was ruining his life.

She followed the noise and chaos to the Kappa House. There he was, King of the Bacchanal. Standing on the dais that was sure to come crashing down on him at any minute. He had a cheap party supply store crown on his head, draped in dozens of beaded necklaces.

“Belle! Baby, you made it!” he cheered. “Clyde, dude, look it’s Belle! Belle!” He jumped down and stumbled towards here. “Baby, I’ve missed you so much!”

He tried to pull her into an embrace. How he’d missed her. He leaned in for a kiss and she pushed him away.

“You’re drunk,” Belle said flatly. “You promised. You promised me!”

“Belle!” Adam shouted as she turned away from him. “Baby, baby wait!”

“NO! God damn you, Adam! You PROMISED me!” she turned and gave him a shove. “You promised me this would be a good visit. That you could handle it. Find your own way home.”

She strode away, leaving him standing in the middle of the street. She wanted to call Hatter, tattle on Adam. She was furious, betrayed. She went back to her dorm and slammed the door, thankful that Babette was out, probably at the same party Adam was. Since her night was ruined, she might as well study. And when that proved impossible she opened her laptop and turned to Amazon Prime and took solace in the lives of the beautiful, yet tragic lives of the Crawley sisters.

In the early hours of the morning Belle was woken by the loud giggling of someone or someones entering her dorm. Rolling over and turning on the lamp she was greeted to the sight of Adam and her roommate. She wasn’t sure who was holding who up.

“I do believe this is yours,” Babette said, laughing, letting go of Adam. “At least I think he’s yours, unless there’s another Belle from Molyneaux at this school.”

Adam looked worse for wear. His shirt was torn and muddy. He had the making of a black eye. “Looks like you had fun,” Belle said, with very little sympathy.

“I feel awful,” Adam said, holding his head. There was a cut in his hairline.

“I bet you do. There’s waters in the fridge and Advil on my desk. And don’t even think about climbing in this bed. You can sleep on the floor.” She flipped off her lamp and buried herself in her blankets.

“Belle? Baby?” Adam whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re always sorry Adam.”

* * *

Rolling over in her bed she hit something, someone hard. She was in her room at home. Looking at the sleeping face of Adam reminded her of his return to her. It took her a moment to remember that the night before hadn’t been a dream. He was really there and they had really talked all night. He wanted to do more, she knew but she wouldn’t take that step with him until her faith in him was restored. She slid out of his embrace and padded into her bathroom. Turning on the water, she splashed it on her face. Her heart wanted Adam. Wanted him in ways she would never admit out loud. She undid the braid she usually slept in and started to brush out her hair. The door opened and Adam stepped in coming right to her and wrapping her in his arms, kissing the top of her head. It was easy to see how different they were when looking at their reflections. Belle, at her tallest was five foot four and Adam was well over six feet. From what his dads had mentioned, he had taken to running and weights as a distraction and it had done him a world of good. He was a massive figure.

“God, I’ve dreamt of this nearly every night,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around her waist, resting his chin light on top of her head. “Waking up next to you, starting our days together.”

His words overwhelmed Belle, so she extricated herself from his embrace. “Adam, please understand. I want you, yes. But there’s a lot that has to happen before we get to your version of us being together.”

“I know that,” Adam said, stepping back from her, giving her space. “It’s going to take more than just words and a bronze coin in my pocket. Just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it. I will do whatever it takes to make this”—he gestured between them—“work. And last. Because you’re it Belle. You are my forever. I knew it when I was seventeen. I love you.”

Is it for better or for worse, or am I just your good time girl?

Can you still hold me when it hurts, or would you walk away?

Even if I scandalize you, cut you down and criticize you

Tell a million lies about you, what would you say?

Could you?

Could you love me anyway?

Could you? (Aw, could you?)

Could you? (Could you?)

Could you?

Could you love me anyway?

Could you?

They sat together at the counselor Hatter recommended they see. Dr. Jane Porter dealt mainly with recovering addicts and their loved ones. Belle agreed at once. There was a lot that they needed to work out before she could entertain the idea of letting Adam in more than she already had. The space between them on the couch was wide.

“Belle, what is something about Adam that makes you blissfully happy?” Dr. Porter asked.

“When he takes my hand when we walk together. Or the way he used to run his fingers through my hair,” Belle answered, looking over at him.

“Adam, same question.”

Adam stared at Belle. There were so many things about Belle that made him happy that he couldn’t name just one. “It’s a lot of little things. She gets this crinkle between her eyebrows when she’s reading something funny. She can’t sit in a chair like a normal person.”

Dr. Porter wrote in her notes. “Adam, what is something that Belle does to make you angry or upset?”

Adam was quiet. He had to think for a moment. “When she changes plans at the last moment. I don’t do well with change. When we plan for one thing and then it changes. It upsets me.”

“Are you talking about when you came to see me at school?” Belle asked. “Because that was not in my control. My professor was late and class ran late. You chose to stay on Greek Row instead of going to my dorm like we had discussed. I told you not to get there until after four. If you had followed the plan, that weekend would have gone very differently.”

“You left me there,” Adam countered. “If your roommate hadn’t found me, I could have ended up anywhere.”

“Yes, I left you there,” Belle said. “But you broke your promise. You promised me that it would be a good weekend. You always do that.”

“What do I always do Belle? Be human? Make mistakes? You’re not perfect either.”

“I know that.”

“Then why? Why do you always find a way to make me feel like I’m always in the wrong? You’re not always right, Belle.”

Belle sat quiet for a moment. But Adam kept going. “Yes I’m an addict. I have accepted that. But that’s all you see. You only see Adam the alcoholic. And there’s so much more to me than that.”

“I don’t just see you as an alcoholic, Adam.”

“Yes you do. You love me despite my addiction. It’s a part of me, Belle.”

“I know it’s a part of you. That it will always be there, gnawing at the back of your mind. What I want, is for you to find a way to cope that isn’t me. I can’t be the one who keeps you in check. It’s not a healthy way to have a relationship.”

“What makes you say that, Belle?” Dr. Porter asked.

“He has to want to stay sober for himself. Not for me or Cogsworth or Lumiere or Hatter. He has to want it for himself. Not to make those around him happy.”

“Is that what you really think? That I don’t want to stay clean for myself?” Adam snapped, his temper starting to rise. “If it's not for me, then who?”

“If you had gotten clean for yourself, Adam, it wouldn’t have taken five years since the accident for us to be here! You would have done it after Kevin died.”

“That wasn’t my fault!” Adam roared. He stood up sharply, pulling his hands through his hair. “I wasn’t driving that night! Gaston was. Gaston killed Kevin, not me.”

“Baby, we know that,” Belle said, her voice soft, gentle. “We’ll never know if the accident would have happened if you hadn’t been there. But you were.”

“Stop doing that,” Adam said, his back still to her.

“Doing what?”

“The way you talk to me when I get angry,” he said, turning back to face Belle and Dr. Porter. “You get all soft and mild. You talk to me like I’m a child who needs scolding. I have parents. I don’t need you to mother me. You’re my girlfriend. Yell at me! Tell me I’m being an unreasonable jackass.”

“You are an unreasonable jackass! On top of being a stubborn, selfish, self-destructive—” She stumbled over the immense vocabulary she possessed. “You-- You-- rotten, misbegotten, foolhardy--Jackass!”

“Four years spent in the English department and the worst thing you can call me is jackass?”

She narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips. “There are a lot of things I can call you Adam.”

“Don’t let me stop you." Mumbling under his breath, he added, "Judgemental bookworm.”

“Spoiled, ill-bred, bumbling, useless fuckwit!”

“Okay guys, let’s all take a breath,” Dr. Porter interjected. “Sounds like there is a lot of unresolved tension between you. It’s going to take a lot of time and work to bring you to a point where the past is the past and moving towards looking to the future.”

She gave them homework. For Belle, she recommended books for her to read and to journal. For Adam, he needed to keep with the recovery plan he had made with his own therapists during his rehab. The pair needed to find a way to let go of the past and move forward.

* * *

Dates were important to Belle. She kept important ones, birthdays, anniversaries on her calendar so she wouldn’t miss them. Without fail she sent a card to Kevin’s mother on his birthday and the anniversary of his death. She didn’t have to but she did it anyway. He deserved to be remembered. The next session she had with Adam and Dr. Porter happened to fall on a day she wished she could forget. The day she miscarried.

“Adam, we’ve talked about your ups and downs over the last few weeks,” Dr. Porter said. “Tell me about the day you saw Gaston’s mother at the grocery store you were working at.”

Not that day. Not today. Belle thought. Does he even know that it’s today?

“It had been almost two years since the accident,” Adam answered. “Gaston, as I’ve said before, suffered massive head trauma in the accident, and it left him a living vegetable. I’ve heard that he’s regained some functions but he’ll never be the same.” He clenched his fists, needing a moment to recompose himself. To keep his anger about that day in check. For Belle. “I had recently celebrated a year of sobriety. I was in a really good place.” He reached across the sofa to take Belle’s hand. “We were in a good place. I was able to start wanting to make plans, future plans.”

“I was-- I was pregnant,” Belle said, squeezing Adam’s hand. “I had known for awhile and told Adam and his dads when I was around twelve maybe thirteen weeks along.”

“We were happy. Looking to make plans to raise the baby together, talking about getting married,” Adam said. “Everything we had talked about before the accident.” He took a breath. “I was bagging groceries at the market in town. I was smiling, happy because I was going to be a father. I wanted so badly to be one. I saw it as my chance to undo the past, to be the dad I needed when I was younger. And there she was. Standing in front of me at the checkstand. It took me a moment to remember her. Gaston’s mother had always been that woman who wouldn’t leave the house until she looked her absolute best. You know the type. She didn’t look like herself. It’s like someone zapped all the color from her.” Adam looked down. “‘How dare you smile.’ That’s the first thing she said to me in almost two years. ‘How can you dare to be happy when my son is forever ruined because of you.?’”

Adam wasn’t sure how he should react to such an accusation. He knew things were hard for their family. Because Kevin’s mother couldn’t get real justice for her son’s death because of Gaston’s condition she sued his parents for wrongful death. They had lost a lot of their wealth fighting and finally settling with her. He knew he hadn't done anything wrong.

“I’m really sorry about Gaston, Mrs. LeDoux. The accident wasn’t my fault. He was driving,” Adam apologized. She had a lot of groceries on the belt. This was going to be a long transaction.

“I don’t believe it! My son would never have driven drunk! You were the one driving and blamed it on my son.”

Adam would run out of fingers and toes for the amount of times he had ridden shotgun next to Gaston while he was drunk, stoned, and high as a kite. It was a common thing. But he didn’t dare say that. He kept sorting her groceries as she spoke to him. Berated him.

“What could you possibly be happy about? You should be in jail. If my son had never gotten involved with a drunk like you, he’d still be whole.”

“Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to stop harassing my employee,” Adam’s supervisor said, coming up to the register.

“It should have been you!” she screamed.

Adam had enough. He took off his apron, dropped it on the floor and walked away. He took a bottle of his poison from the shelves with him and vanished.

“Where did you go?” Dr. Porter asked.

“I went up to the woods. I had a cave area up there that I would run off to when I needed space. I think I was up there for three days before Hatter found me.”

“Adam,” Belle said, tears stinging her eyes. “Do you know what today is?”

“No, baby I don’t,” he said, cupping her cheek in his hand. “Belle?”

“Today, three years ago is when--”

“When we lost the baby,” Adam finished for her. He slid off the sofa and knelt in front of Belle. “I will never stop making up for that. Never.”

Dr. Porter watched the two young people in front of her. “What happened?”

Belle clung to Adam’s hands, their foreheads resting against each other. “I was at school. I just took my last final for the winter semester. While I was taking my test it had started to snow. I wasn’t wearing the right shoes and I slipped on a patch of ice. I was stupid. I came out a back entrance that hadn’t gotten de-iced yet. I couldn’t get up. The snow was still falling and I think I cried out enough that one of the groundskeepers saw me. He managed to help me up and guided me to the other side of the building where he radioed for assistance. Everything hurt and I got a sharp sudden pain in my belly. A few minutes later I realized I was bleeding.”

“Baby, you never told me this,” Adam said, trying his best to be a comfort. When Hatter finally found him after running into Mrs. LaDoux all Hatter had said in the matter was that Belle lost the baby. “No one told me what really happened.”

“I was about twenty weeks along when it happened,” Belle said. “A few more weeks and they might have been able to save--to save. To save her. They said my fall caused a placental abruption. At that point there wasn’t much they could do to stop it.”

Her. We would have had a daughter. “A girl?” Adam tried to smile. But it felt wrong. It felt wrong to smile.

“A girl. She was perfect,” Belle cried, emotion cracking her normally steady voice. “And I was alone. You weren’t there. You weren't answering your phone, I couldn't reach you. I needed you. By the time your dads got there, she was gone.” Gripping his hands tight she kept going. “You showed up eventually. But by then, I was done. I was too broken to care what you had to say, where you were, what you were doing or who you were doing it with. I even reached a point where I didn’t care if you were dead in a ditch.”

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there,” Adam said, lifting Belle’s chin to look at him. “It is unforgivable that I reacted like that. Her words hurt but I shouldn’t have let them get to me.”

"It was horrible what she said to you. It wasn't your fault. But in the moment when I needed you the most…" her voice broke and tears streamed down her face. "You weren't there. I had to say goodbye to our daughter alone, with no one but apathetic nursing staff around me. I've never felt more abandoned or hopeless in my life." She wiped away a tear. “I named her Caroline. Caroline Rose Benson. She’s resting in her grandfather’s rose garden.”

“Caroline?” Adam asked, his voice breathless.

“What’s the significance to that name?” Dr. Porter asked.

“It was my mother’s name,” Adam answered. “You remembered. Even when you felt nothing for me, you honored me in that way. Belle, that means more than anything.”

"She was still your daughter, and it just felt right. Just because I wanted nothing to do with you didn't mean I could pretend you didn't exist."

Bringing the session back on track, Dr. Porter asked, “Belle, you say you wanted nothing to do with him then. What do you want now?”

“I want a future. And if you want to be a part of it, Adam, you have to stay clean. Not just for me, but for you.”

“Belle, losing the baby, you telling me that you never wanted to see me again, that was my rock bottom. I wanted, longed to trade places with our child. Every time I got clean before, you’re right it wasn’t for me. It was for you, it was for Dad and Pop and for Hatter. But this last time, this time, it's for me. I need you to know that. And I will work every day to prove it.” He leaned up and kissed her. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Belle said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“That’s the first time you’ve ever told me,” Adam said. “I knew you did, but you’ve never said it.”

“I’m sorry it took me so long,” Belle said. “But I do. I love you, Adam Benson.”

Could you? (Could you still love me?)

Could you? (Pick up the pieces of me?)

Could you? (Could you still love me?)

Could you love me anyway?

Could you? (Ooh, could you still love me?)

Could you? (Pick up the pieces of me?)

Could you? (Could you still love me?)

Could you love me anyway?

Could you? (Could you catch me when I fall?)

Could you? (And we rise above it all)

Could you? (And hold me when it hurts)

I can't stay here in the world, could you?

Could you? Could you? Could you?

#love me anyway #beauty and the beast #beauty and the beast fan fic #inspired by music

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cutesuki--bakugou · 5 years ago

Text

Adopt a Pumpkin

@bnha-halloween2019 | Day 5: Pumpkin Patch | Bakugou x Koge (OC), ft. Matsuki, Natsuki and Atsuki (OCs)| Teen | Cursing, Cute Family Fluff

Art challenge: Use only THESE COLORS

Main art blog @hvalrossart

“I’m gonna find the bestest pumpkin!” Atsuki cried out excitedly, kicking his legs so aggressively in his happiness that he was nearly able to move his car seat about, even though it was strapped down tightly. “Huge!”

“You can’t get too big of one, Atsu, it has to fit in the trunk. Or, all five of ours have to fit, so we have to be equal-ish. Right, Daddy?” Natsuki leaned forward, gripping onto the shoulders of the driver’s side seat where her father was sitting. Only half paying attention to the conversation, Bakugou glanced into the backseat through the rear view mirror, noticing that his two youngest children where gazing at him expectantly.

“What’s that, squid?”

“Yes, baby.” Koge answered for him, turning a bit in the passengers side seat to address her children directly. “We all have to get normal sized pumpkins. Nothing giant, though if you really want a tiny one, then that’s fine. But only one each.”

“How big?” Atsuki’s crimson gaze moved to look at his hands as he tried to measure the length of the pumpkin, as accurately as a four year old could. “Twenty feet?”

Natsuki scoffed, flopping back to sit normally. “Twenty feet is too big! Daddy, how big is twenty feet?” Bakugou furrowed his brow at the question, unable to really think of an example to give his children. They were always so curious, so full of questions and odd conversations that he was completely unsure of what to even answer half of the time in a way that they would understand. As such, he had become quite adept at deflecting when it came to stuff he didn’t know.

“Natsu, we aren’t measuring in feet, we’re measuring in inches. We aren’t even going to measure them, we’re just looking at how big they are. And if they’re in good condition so they hold up when we carve them.” Bakugou kept his eyes on the road as he took a left turn, following the signs to the pumpkin patch they had decided on visiting. This was Atsuki’s first Halloween where he could really participate in an independent way, and so Koge and Bakugou had decided that this would be the perfect first event. Later would be his costume, though he had already settled on being an octopus for… some odd reason.

Natsuki nodded in understanding of her fathers argument, turning her attention to look out of her window. “My pumpkin has to be perfect so that I can make it scary! I want it to have fangs and evil eyes!”

“Me too, me too!” Atsuki cried out in his typical excited squeal, always hell bent on copying his siblings on anything that he could. Koge smiled, reaching back to tickle his feet, making him giggle.

“So two scary pumpkins, huh? I think mine will be cute. What about you Matsuki?” As Koge addressed her oldest son, she turned back to sit normally in her chair, hearing the pages of his book crinkle as he put it down to answer her. He was always the quiet type, stuck in his fantasy worlds during drives while his siblings caused enough ruckus to give anyone a migraine. How he could focus on reading with two obnoxious children beside him was something Koge could never understand, though she sure did wish he’d teach her his tricks.

Noticing they were getting close to their destination anyway, Matsuki placed his bookmark and closed his book, shoving it into the pouch on the back of the passenger’s side seat. “Well, I was thinking about painting mine instead of carving it. I’m… not so good at carving. The knives and stuff make me a little nervous.”

“Matsu, if you wanna be a doctor, you gotta get over being scared of knives.” Natsuki huffed as she fumbled with Atsuki’s shoes, trying to get them back on the constantly wiggling toddler. “How are you gonna do surgery on people if you’re scared?”

“Natsuki.” Bakugou grumbled in his typical ‘dad voice’, instantly getting Natsuki to pause and realize how bad she had sounded. She mumbled an apology to Matsuki, who took it with a smile and a small shake of his head.

“It’s alright, she isn’t wrong. But I just like to paint, so I thought I’d do it on the pumpkin.” The preteen gave a stretch, glad to know that soon he would be out of the car and not squished between the door and a car seat. “I was thinking about doing a monster. But a funny one.”

“I think that would be amazing, baby.” Koge turned her gaze up to her husband, who took a quick glance at her in return. “And what about you, hm?”

Bakugou sighed as he thought, giving a small shrug. “I have no idea. I’m sure I’ll think of something. But no matter what, mine’s gonna be the best.” A smirk crossed his lips as he directed the challenge towards his children, instantly gaining a gasp from his just as competitive daughter.

“No way Daddy! Mine will be the best!”

“No, no! Mine!”

Giving a chuckle as his two youngest went at it with a back and forth argument, Bakugou pulled the car into the pumpkin patch parking lot, which was really just a large rectangle of pebbles with a rickety wooden fence border. There were only a couple of other cars there, which made Bakugou feel better about not having to deal with a huge crowd. “Is there an entrance fee, Utsuro?”

“Mhmm.” Koge responded, able to see the sign near the entrance. “Looks like 500 yen per car. So just that much for all of us. Not bad.” As the car stopped, Koge got out, need to wrangle up the youngest before he took off without them.

With an annoyed grunt, Bakugou turned off the car and got out himself, placing his hand onto Natsukis head once she bounced out as well. Squatting down, he kept her attention, keeping his hand firmly in place. “Remember what we talked about. There’s a time and place for horsing around…?”

“And this is not it.” Natsuki finished the sentence, nodding in understanding. “Don’t worry Daddy, I’ll behave and I’ll help watch Atsu.” She burst out into giggles as Bakugou place a rough and playful kiss on her cheek, joined in with a ruffle of her already messy hair as he stood.

“That’s my girl. Now go on. I’m going to trust you to pick a pumpkin for me, too, okay?”

“Yes, sir!” With that, Natsuki bounded off after her older brother, who was waiting patiently by the entrance to the main farm area. Meeting up with Koge who held Atsuki on her hip, he took a moment to glance around the area, as he typically did for any new place he took his family to. It was a mostly unconscious need to scan the area for any dangers, but all he saw was a pleasant large field of hundreds of pumpkins. Thankfully, the entire area was secured with a fence, as was the small petting zoo they had off to the side. There were very few people about at this time of the day, as they had decided to go closer to dusk so they could have a literal time limit on how long they would be there. Bakugou and Koge both knew that their children could spend forever in a place like this, and dragging them home wasn’t going to be an easy task.

“Seems like a nice place.” Koge spoke softly, probably doing the exact same thing that he had been. She took his free hand into hers, tenderly lacing their fingers as they made their way to the entrance. “We’ll probably have children that smell like goats by the time we leave. You know they won’t be able to resist the-”

“Goats!” Atsuki cried out, pointing towards the petting zoo. “Mama, Daddy, look! Goats! And chickens!” He gave a couple excited bounces, though Koge was able to keep a good hold on him. “Can I pet? Can I pet them?”

“I’m sorry baby, you know that you’re allergic to them like Mommy is. We can pet the chickens and the pigs, but we can’t pet the goats, okay?”

“Yay! I like chickens more than goats. But they’re not for food, right?”

Bakugou chuckled, digging through his coat pocket to pull out the extra 500 yen to pay for entry. “No squid, these are pets. So you treat them nicely, like Socket and the other rats.”

“Yes, Daddy. I wish Socket could have come with us, she likes going on car rides.” Atsuki watched his father closely as Bakugou handed the money to the person at the entrance, thinking fondly of the family’s pet rats at home. “She could have been best friends with the chickens.”

“I’m sure she would have loved it, baby.” Koge shifted Atsuki off her hip and put him carefully on the floor next to his sister, who was nearly bursting out of her skin with excitement. After the fee was paid, the attendant opened up the entrance gate, allowing the family inside. At first, Natsuki and Atsuki both hung back anxiously, glancing up at their parents as they awaited those words.

With a smile, Koge released Bakugou’s hand and instead put her arm around his waist, cuddling into his side as his arm rested over her shoulders. “Go on then, little gremlins! Go find your pumpkins!” Excitedly, the two youngest took off running, with Matsuki following as he took on the role of babysitter as he usually did, even without directions to do so. With a happy sigh, Koge lied her head against Bakugou’s shoulder, walking with him through the rows of pumpkins and hay. “I always love this time of year… So much fun stuff for us to do together.”

Bakugou gave his typical soft grunt in agreement, shoving his free hand into his coat pocket. “The kiddos sure do love it. At least I think Matsu does? He’s so damn mellow I can’t ever tell if he’s enjoying himself or not.”

Koge giggled softly, carefully stepping over a tiny pumpkin that was in her way. “Of course he is. He’s just getting older, you know, to where more childish things like this don’t really entertain him as much as they used to.”

“You think this is childish, Utsuro?”

“I- well, no, not necessarily. I mean, unless you’re just having the time of your life, we can consider this a total adult centered event. Just needs some wine.” Bringing their walking to a stop, she moved to stand in front of him, wrapping both arms around him. “Thank you for taking the day off to come out here. I know it’s not easy to get away.”

Bakugou leaned in to kiss her sweetly, one hand on her side while the other caressed the back of her neck softly. “I wouldn’t miss it. Besides, tomorrow morning my parents are coming to pick them up for the weekend. So guess what?”

Koge smiled, feeling her face flush from the snarky smirk that crossed his lips. “You took the whole weekend off, too?”

“The whole weekend. So I get you all to myself.” Bakugou kissed her again, letting his fingers run through her hair. “Then we’ll really have an adult centered event. And a lot of wine.” Before he could move in to kiss her again, the pitter-patter of speedy little child feet caught his attention, looking down as Atsuki came running up to them, holding something against his chest.

“Mama, Daddy, I found my pumpkin!” He stopped next to them, huffing and puffing from running. Released her husband, Koge squatted down in front of Atsuki, resting her arms on her knees. “Oh yeah? What’cha got there?”

Holding out his arms, he presented Koge with quite the tiny and pathetic looking pumpkin, which was only slightly bigger than her own palm. Confused, Koge took the tiny pumpkin, looking it over a bit. “You mean this?”

Atsuki nodded, placing a tiny finger on the pumpkin. “Yeah. It’s so tiny, no one else would pick it. I wanted to take it home.”

“You feel bad for it?”

“Uh huh. It was covered with hay. It’s sad.” The child took the pumpkin back from her, turning it over in his hands a bit. “I want to give it a nice house to grow up in.”

After sharing a quick glance with Bakugou, Koge smiled at her son, gently pulling him closer so she could give him a tender kiss on the cheek. “You know what? How about we adopt this pumpkin as a family and take it home. You go pick another bigger pumpkin to carve, okay?”

“Really? It’s okay?” Atsuki turned his gaze up to his father, who gave a nod in agreement. Wide smile on his lips, the child handed Koge back the little pumpkin. “Will you protect it, Mommy? Natsuki laughed at it, I think it likes you more.” Taking the pumpkin and standing, Koge held it carefully.

“Of course, baby. I’ll make sure it’s nice and safe. Now go on and pick your carving pumpkin before it gets too chilly.” With her promise to protect his new friend, Atsuki ran back off towards his sister, who was gazing up at the biggest pumpkin in the patch, which was even bigger than her. Placing the pumpkin into her coat pocket, Koge turned her attention back to Bakugou, who was looking down at her with an amused smile.

“Adopt it, huh?”

“What else could I say? That was the cutest thing ever, Katsuki, don’t even try to deny it.” Hooking her arm with his, she started to head towards their children. Bakugou nodded as he followed her, though the smile didn’t fade from his lips.

“Nah, I would have agreed, too. It was cute. That little turd has some softness in him. He’s like a mix of Matsu and Natsu with a shit ton of energy and craziness, but enough empathy to feel bad for a fucking pumpkin of all things. Hey- Natsuki! Get of that pumpkin!” Bakugou interrupted his own sentence to bark at his daughter, who was standing on the large pumpkin. Being caught, Natsuki instead sat down on it, waving towards her parents.

“Wait, Daddy, come take a picture with me on it! This pumpkin is huge! Like, it’s as big as your head!”

Koge couldn’t help but laugh, covering her lips with her fingers as she released Bakugou’s arm to get her phone out of her pocket. “Oh my goodness. I wonder… your physical or metaphorical big head?”

With a scoff, Bakugou gave Koge’s backside a rough pinch, making her squeal and hop away from him to avoid any further punishment. “O-ow! I was just joking!”

“Your joking deserves a pinch.” He stopped next to the pumpkin when they reached it, looking at Natsuki as she was nearly eye level with him now. “You promised me you wouldn’t play around, Natsu.”

“But Daddy, the sign says it’s okay!” Natsuki pointed to the sign beside the pumpkin, which indeed indicated that it was okay for pictures and for small children to sit on. With a grumble, Bakugou ruffled her hair, making her giggle in victory.

“You’re too smart for your own good, squid.”

“Okay!” Koge held up her phone to take a picture, even though she had been secretly taking them the entire time Bakugou and Natsuki had been conversing. “Get together around the pumpkin!” As her children and husband all posed appropriately, Koge snapped who knows how many pictures, before setting the timer and propping it up against other pumpkins. “Now with me in it…” In a rush, she hopped over to stand with Matsuki.

The rest of the evening went like this, with laughter, pictures and treasured family moments abundant. Before the sun set under the horizon, they had their pumpkins loaded into the car and new friends made in various forms, from the friendly farm animals, to neglected baby pumpkins, to a scarecrow that Natsuki appropriately named Ugly Hay Face. By the time the family got settled back into the car, Atsuki was yawning like mad and Natsuki was picking hay out of her hair, tossing it out the window.

With a sigh, Koge bucked her own seat belt, leaning her head back against the seat to smile up at Bakugou. “I think that was a successful event.”

Bakugou nodded, giving her a small smile of his own. “I think so, too. No real casualties. Except for that chicken that thought my hair was hay for whatever reason.”

Koge giggled, rubbing his arm gently. “It does kind of look like hay, love.” Hearing her name from her youngest child, Koge turned her attention to him, first met with outstretched hands.

“Mommy, can I please have the baby pumpkin?”

“Oh,” Koge removed the little thing from her pocket, placing it into his carefully. “Of course, baby. Be careful with it.”

Atsuki cradled the pumpkin to his chest, holding it tenderly. “I will. I think it’s the best pumpkin in the whole world. Even better than the big one.”

“Me too. Definitely the best in the entire patch. Now, how about we get home. Gotta prepare you three for Grandma Bakugou’s house this weekend. Natsuki, baby, don’t throw the hay on the floorboards! How’d you even get that dirty?”

#bnha-halloween2019 #bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #bakugou x oc #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #oc #original character #koge #bakugou x koge #bnha fanfiction #fanfiction #bnha writing blog #cutesuki-oc

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mxaxwx · 5 years ago

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12-17-19

I bring Benjamin Franklin to our current time. I show him modern music and my phone, hoping to blow his mind. I try to take a picture and video of him but my phone goes dim as soon as I try to do it.

Later, he plays the guitar and sings. It sounds like early 2000′s screamo, which surprises me.

I talk to him about electricity. He tells me that early humans got the concept of electricity from some ‘visitors’ with whom they had ‘wrestled’ and won.

He eventually becomes two friends of mine who spend the night. Another friend of mine is here as well and we all talk.

--------------------

I’m with my girlfriend in a neighborhood around dusk. We stop and and admire a particular house. We like both the house and the neighborhood. The house has a 1940′s/1950′s style. I look in the window. Marc Maron shows up. He’s going to take us inside and show us the house.

I walk past a friend’s house. He’s out in his front yard with his parents and he tells me that they had recently seen his dad’s stolen truck being hauled down the freeway. I hear a radio broadcast about the pursuit and arrest of the culprit. An old black man working in his yard next door is upset by the whole thing and is very saddened at the end when the culprit gets shot and killed. He may be talking to a friend of his about it as it all takes place.

I’m in a nearby schoolyard. I am both being pursued by and pursuing a group of young men, trying to shoot them.

I’m in a room with several people. One of them mentions an old girlfriend of mine. She says that she’s seen her here in the city recently but won’t tell me where, as if she (my old girlfriend) wouldn’t want me to know.

--------------------

I’m arriving home from a car trip with my mom and dad. It’s night. My mom and I get out of the car and start walking toward home through what looks like a small park. There’s a light dusting of snow on the ground and a bus in the distance drives past, spraying a large fan of snow from beneath its tires. We both agree that we’re lucky we weren’t next to it as it drove by, otherwise we would’ve been covered with snow. I decide to turn around and go back to get my dad, who is still asleep in the car. My mom seems a little annoyed by this but cooperates.

I get him and we all walk together now. As we stroll down the sidewalk I look up at the stars. I search through the constellations for Orion, which for some reason I feel a certain connection to. I find it and see lights like moons swirling around up there. I point them out to my mom and dad. Eventually they turn into swirling colors (red and blue I think) and I think that it might be an advertisement from a large company, Mozilla Firefox perhaps. I think briefly about how much money a company must have in order to project ads onto the sky.

I see more lights swirling now. I think that maybe they’re UFO’s. I am excited by this, then get a little worried about the possibility of them beaming us up and try to get us to shelter.

--------------------

I’m in a small version of my martial arts gym. I see a smooth brown rat on a shelf among canned goods to my left. It scurries off and several other people see it, pleased by its presence, then it comes back to the shelf. It’s pretty cute.

Sometime later, I return to the gym, this time a large, full-sized version. I’m greeted by young man and woman who had seen me the last time I was here, when I was naked for some reason. I joke with them about it, first saying that I’m still naked under my clothes, then saying that I’m actually wearing a tuxedo under my clothes. Another person shows up who knows me. We all have a good rapport and I like it.

I’m walking. I stop to take a picture of a cool sign hanging in the window of a small corner store, but the sign changes as soon as I point my phone at it. A guy comes out and tries to get me to tell him my name. I don’t trust him. I’m inside now and he has several friends with him and I feel threatened by them, but decide to stand my ground.

#dreams #time travel #benjamin franklin #aliens and ufos #stars

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kiddomhearts · 5 years ago

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Ordinary Days

Summary: An ordinary day for the Hart Family. AO3 link

“Although my heart may be weak, it’s not alone. It’s grown with each new experience, and it’s found a home with all the friends I’ve made.”

“Be back by lunch!”

Sora quickly scampered down the steps, Xion and Roxas on his heels with goodbyes of their own. It was a race to see who would reach the corner first. Sora’s win streak had been going strong for the past three days but he knew his siblings could easily win if he wasn’t careful.

Of course, at that moment Roxas reached the corner first with Xion in a close second. He swore his siblings could teleport sometimes.

“Yeah Rox!” Xion cheered while their brother gave a tiny, but smug, smile. Sora stuck his tongue out but relented and handed over the gummiphone they shared between the three of them. Vanitas had pitched a fit that they had gotten one when he hadn’t gotten one until he was at least eight. But the triplets were much more outgoing than he had been at their age, their father had pointed out, so gummiphone it is.

Never mind that the triplets were technically supposed to keep together and that splitting up defeated the whole purpose of them sharing the phone.

With a quick wave, the triplets split down their respective paths. Sora was excited for the day ahead of him it was a Beach Day! Everyday was Beach Day except for Hospital Days, School Days, Party Days—well, most days were Beach Days. But this Beach Day was special because Namine was finally allowed out of the house!

What a perfect morning!

“Best friends are supposed to be honest with each other!”

“Aw, c’mon Rox! Lighten up a bit, it’ll be fine.”

Roxas leveled his best disbelieving stare at Lea. Too bad the redhead was too busy setting up his glowworm pile to notice. He tried not to give a weary sigh, he really did! He didn’t want to be mistaken for Isa after all who had already sighed for the fifth time just that second. But Lea made it hard not to sometimes.

“I don’t think Roxas believes you,” Xion commented distractedly. Her hands were already busy with her newest project (matching crochet scarves for the four of them) so she wasn’t really paying attention to them in the slightest.

Lea turned around dramatically, hand placed on his heart. “Oh Roxas, how you wound me! Do any of you have any faith in your old friend?”

“No,” Isa responded flatly. Roxas couldn’t very well verbally agree with Isa so he settled for glaring extra hard.

Then the smell hit him.

“Lea, is that lighter fluid?” Isa sharply asked. Xion’s head snapped up, throwing her project into her bag and scrambling away from the blast radius. Roxas had already put five feet between the glowworm monstrosity at the unfamiliar smell and put in an extra five at the name of the culprit.

“No?” Lea chuckled weakly. The matchbox in his hand wavered.

“Lea no.”

“Lea yes.”

Roxas wondered if Ienzo had any plans for before noon as he left the soon-to-be crime scene.

“You’re both my best friends.”

“Ta-da! What do you think?”

Xion clapped her hands together in amazement as Kairi showed off her latest friendship bracelet. It was a pink and white crocheted thing that resembled a mit more than a bracelet. But Kairi was still learning and they knew that any of her friends would wear it with pride anyway.

“It’s a bit wide,” Namine laughed. Kairi pouted and stuck out her tongue but couldn’t keep up her expression as they all descended into giggles. Xion was glad that Kairi and Namine decided to stick around after lunch. It was a shame that Aqua couldn’t be there too.

Dusk gave a soft bark from where he laid at Xion’s feet, tail wagging a staccato beat against the floor. Xion reached down to pet his head, earning a few licks in return. She’d have to walk him soon.

“And done.” Namine sat back and clutched her sketchbook to her chest. They waited patiently for the blonde to show off her latest work, knowing she was notoriously shy about it. The wait proved fruitful when she finally turned the sketchbook around to them.

The drawing was of Xion, Kairi, and Namine, all done in the finest crayons hand-me-downs and couch cushions could buy. They were holding hands at the beach with smiles on their faces. Although…

“Why am I in a coat?” Xion questioned. Namine shrugged. It had just seemed right at the time.

A nudge at her foot was all the warning she could get before Vanitas poked his head in from down the hall. He seemed surprised, probably not expecting the visitors. He picked up Flood as the irritable rabbit hopped back to him with his mission accomplished.

“Hey, uh… keep it down in here, okay?” And with that, he left just as quickly. Xion figured that wasn’t what her brother wanted to say but Kairi and Namine made him uncomfortable. He’ll come to her later though.

Packing things up, Xion went to grab the leash for Dusk. It only took a few moments before they were ready and out the door. Chatting among themselves, they kept close to the shaded areas as they met up with Sora and Riku.

It was a nice afternoon walk.

“Hmph, it’s always about your friends, isn’t it?”

“Cut it out, I know you’re hungry.”

Flood honked at that, already in the deserted kitchen and parked right next to the fruit bowl. Hareraiser was running circles around Vanitas and forcing him to take careful steps unless he wanted to trip. He would glare at the insufferable rodents but it had long since had an effect.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you little lump of evil,” he muttered. Flood huffed at that but at least Hareraiser had stopped. They both stared expectedly at him as he grabbed a banana. Quickly peeling and breaking off half of it, he grabbed a butter knife (stupid Ven and his stupid safety rules) and divide the half into little pieces. The smaller pile then went into Flood’s bowl while the larger bile went into Hareraiser’s bowl.

Flood gave him the stink eye but he rolled his eyes at that. The little rat could sulk all he wanted, he wasn’t getting his favorite today. (Because Vanitas had forgotten to add strawberries to the grocery list last week.) But oh how his tune changed when Hareraiser gave his bowl an experimental sniff.

Rabbits situated, Vanitas sat down at the empty kitchen table. It had been a boring day with Ven not around except for lunch. But even that was awkward since Ven’s ‘besties’ (barf) had tagged along. He had hid stayed in his room for the most part.

It was warm in here, he realized. Had someone turned off the AC? Probably Xion, she was all about going green or whatever it was. Or Ven, he was always the responsible one… Maybe Roxas, he was…

A soft but firm nip jolted him back to awareness. He had slumped a bit onto the table as he had begun to nod off. Flood sat attentively at his heels, the nipper in question, while Hareraiser had hopped into his lap. A glance at the clock showed that he was only out for a few minutes at most.

Scratching Flood then Hareraiser (between the eyes and down the back, respectively), he stood up and headed for his room. At least if he fell asleep in there, he’d have his bed. But he already knew he was going to be up for at least a couple of hours, feeling refreshed even with that small nap.

At least it was a quiet evening.

“At least I have some!”

“Look, look! A shooting star!”

Ventus hopped around excitedly, too wired from his short nap earlier to properly peer through the telescope. Aqua and Terra chuckled at his antics as they had already expected this. Eraqus had turned in for the night a while ago.

The picnic blanket beneath them was soft when Ven finally tired and flopped down onto it. His eyes were still trained above him though. Meteor showers, while not common, still seemed to happen unnaturally often on the shores of Destiny Islands.

He could hear the far off sounds of Sora’s shrieking laughter and the faint splashes from the tiny wavepools that Xion and Roxas were exploring. It was a shame that Vanitas didn’t stay for longer. But he knew how shy (no matter how much his brother denied it) his brother was. He’d bet that Vanitas was already holed up in his room at home with those spoiled (another thing his brother denied) rabbits of his.

A faint brush across his head had him tilting his head back. Aqua smiled at him, continuing brushing her hand through his hair, and he grinned in return. Terra mumbled something off to the side and Ventus bet that he had already somehow messed up the telescope settings in those five seconds.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Aqua asked rhetorically. Ventus just nodded at that, not wanting to break the calm mood. It was Terra’s increasingly frustrated cries that eventually had them leaving their nice spot.Within moments, Aqua had the telescope sorted out.

“I tried that.”

“Obviously not.”

“It’s like a bunch of dandelions,” Ventus interrupted, looking back up at the night sky. The two blinked and then looked at each other with fond expressions. Ventus had a soft spot for the plants, even going so far as to have a special spot for them in his little garden in the back of his house. But…

“They’re still weeds Ven,” Terra teased, Aqua shaking her head.

Before he could reply, there was a sharp whistle that cut through the air before the sky lit up further. With colors this time. The two conspicuously absent troublemakers were found not far down the beach, especially as Isa’s roar filled the air.

“LEA!”

Another ordinary night for another ordinary day.

#kingdom hearts #ventus #vanitas #sora #roxas #xion #kiddom hearts #fics #((snippet to show the general feel of the au))

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panda-paco · 6 years ago

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The great Paco Panda adventure

This has been one of the best trips I've ever made in my life, and I've had the fortune to make many trips, but this exceeded the number of spontaneous adventures and experiences that any other of my trips have done before. Maybe I'm exaggerating, maybe there was more spontaneity in the trip last summer where instead of going directly to Mexico from Pittsburgh, we went to New York City, and from there we went north to Quebec City, where we drive from there until Mexico city, and not of a direct form, going through several cities. That trip lasted 3 weeks. That was another great adventure, the one of 2017, surely if you haven't read that one, after reading this one, already knowing if you like or not how I tell my adventures, you'll want to read that other one, which was great.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8666900/

We are still in the first half of 2018, several trips ahead and new adventures to live for the rest of this year, which excite me. But I can't believe how much happened in these 36 days away from home, the trip you are about to start reading about.

If you could notice, I didn't upload many things to my social networks, or drawings, or many pics. I'm not used to be one of those persons who are sharing their online diary at the moment (I'd love to, but I've never gotten used to it). I prefer to start sharing everything, once the adventure is over. Here I'll leave a summary, if you want to skip a part, know what comes next:

1-NYC 2-Furrnion 3-Madrid 4-Switzerland 5-Museums and strange food in Madrid 6-The great adventure heading to BLFC 7-BLFC 8-Another great adventure heading to Las Vegas (with a stop in San Jose) 9-Las Vegas

So here we start!

1. NYC

Why did I decide to go to NYC? When I decided to go to the Madrid's convention, I started looking for flights and couldn't find any cheap flights directly from Mexico, and while I was searching from other cities, I found that from New York it was quite cheap to get to Madrid.

It was not my first time in Manhattan, in fact it was my third time, but in my two previous trips I was exploring the most basic tourist. 1st time the classic, and 2nd time I repeated because I was with guys who had never been there before. And something I had always wanted of going to New York, was going completely alone, with the sole purpose of visiting museums, going to Broadway plays, and exploring corners of Manhattan that are interesting. So in my plan I contemplated a few days before, to be able to get to Manhattan and explore it on my own.

It's not that I was regretful of the upcoming I'm going to say or it was a bad thing, but my plan to be completely alone in Manhattan was not entirely successful. Well, I told about my plans to the two friends I know from New York: Yoshi Azul and Kuma (I love you, guys); knowing I was going to visit town, both wanted to be with me almost throughout my stay. I appreciated their company a lot, I spent a lot of time with them, exploring the Guggenheim, the museum of the city of new york, and eating in places that they recommended me. But my idea of being alone in Manhattan was to be able to do things that I knew not many appreciated the same way as me, or that I wouldn't depend on anyone else's decision about where to go and what to do. And more than I already know how to move in the city perfectly, being my third time there.

I didn't achieve the goal of exploring corners or going to any Broadway play; that desire will remain paused until I get to go, again on my own or go with someone who has that same concern to explore Manhattan as I do want to. That for more than New York is a city very crowded, full of movement, traffic, angry people, homeless, colorful characters that sometimes provke fear, thick and unkind people who ask tip for anything, rats on the train tracks, peculiar smells and high costs for anything; It is a city that I love to visit, it is very exciting, there is always something to do.

Those were rainy days, where people's umbrellas turned upside down, everyone ran to keep from getting wet, the drops of rain were so heavy that they hurt. I appreciate that it was not my first impression of the big apple.

The museum that I was able to explore on my own was the MET, so huge that not even walking it from morning to the museum's closing time, I was able to explore it completely, I'm sure I only covered 20% of the museum. There were many pieces that I loved and that filled me with emotion. I love going to art museums because I never know what I can find, whether desepción, bad or good emotions, new paintings that I had never seen, or known paintings that for the first time I can see their original versions. Oh, and when passing through central park, I could finally try one of those classic hot dogs that everyone warns you never try because they can be made of rat. Well, those warnings were right, the worst hot dog I have ever eaten in my life (and expensive).

Something very touristy that I had never done until now, was going up to an observatory deck on top of a skyscraper, and see Manhattan from on high. I did it from the Top of the Rock, at the Rockefeller building. Very expensive in my opinion, but that the view was so spectacular that it was worth it. I saw the day, the sunset and the dusk of all central park, middle and lower manhattan; how they were turning the lights on, little by little, of the empire state, the one world trade center, and how they illuminated the statue of liberty. A magical moment that I kept for myself.

A quick anecdote to tell, maybe not interesting. I bought the transit ticket to be able to use it a whole week, so it was completely filled of credit for all my trip. It was very common when passing through the turnstiles, it popped the sign "error, swap again", so when I tried again, it worked, showing me the days that the card left (more than my stay in town). But there was a time when I got the classic "error, swap again", and when I tried to pass for the second time, it showed me "just used", and it didn't let me in. The tourniquet was not letting me in and even though I was sweeping the card again for the reader, it kept me telling me the same thing "just used". So I had to apply the Mexican one, to jump the turnstile, because the train was just arriving. >:3 Bad Panda!

On my last day in New York, before making my way to the airport, I decided to go to the 11/S museum, something I had never wanted to do before because I thought I could only be a little sensaniolist, but before traveling, I read that it was one of the more complete museums that exist and that was unmissable, so I was hooked to that marketing and attended. In truth, it was a good museum, but it doesn't stop creating a lump in the throat about that attack, which I remember with perfection the moment it happened, and see how it affected not only a city, but an entire nation. It gives a lot of impotence to know what some people can do only for their own interests no matter what cost.

Returning to the adventure ... I thought that the 9/11 museum could be covered in 2 or 3 hours, to my surprise, I had been there for 4 hours, and it was getting late to go to the airport, so I had to use a faster alternative to the subway: the train. When I arrived at the train station, I didn't understand where or how the train had to be paid to use it (still don't know), the train was just there to board it, and if I didn't take that one, definitely my flight would be missed (or the alternative to take a taxi, which could be more expensive, and not a guaranteed for the traffic). I tried to ask any of the people who were boarding the train, but nobody wanted to answer me, everyone was very busy or late; then I asked one of the workers of the station, and in a very rude tone, shouting at me, he simply said "ABOARD THE TRAIN RIGHT NOW, IS ABOUT TO DEPART!" No, no, wait, but I haven't paid and I want to know how to pay. "YOU CAN PAY IT ON THE TRAIN, SO GO UP RIGHT NOW!" I trusted him and went up, behind me the doors were closed and the train started moving, I thought maybe there would be a payment machine as there were on the trains in Toronto, but I coudln't find anyone. And I was really scared when I saw a sign in the ad area that said "Do not you have a train ticket? Fee $ 250". I was not going to pay 250 dollars! I was very scared and started sending messages to my friend Yoshi, he reassured me a bit showing me that there was an alternative, paying the ticket with cash, exact change, to the person who checked the tickets, but at a cost a little higher than the regular, I was not going to care, if that was a solution, as long as I didn't pay the 250 fee. Fortunately, nobody appeared to check the tickets, so the train actually came out completely free for me, hehe. >:3 Once again, bad panda! But I was sweating cold throughout the way, I couldn't even appreciate those views outside the city in Brooklyn from the train window how the skyscrapers were getting farther and farther away.

2. FURRNION

My first time crossing the Atlantic, I had never been to another continent before, and I had never been on such a long flight before.

The bad thing is that when I arrived in Madrid, instead of enjoying that I was finally in unexplored lands, and being able to see European culture ... instead of all that, I arrived at the hotel of the Spanish convention, where I was immediately put to work, because I signed up as Staff (to be able to have a free room, hehe).

I couldn't sleep on the plane, so the jetlag hit me especially hard, but I was still there, sticking posters in the hotel, yawning and blinking. When it was finally time to sleep, I died. But not for a long time, because the next morning I was supposed to work in the registration, but for some reason I didn't understand, it didn't happen: I arrived at the registration and it was full of workers, there were already people registering, all the chairs were filled and just few people were on the reg line, I asked and they just told me "stand there back , if we need you we'll call you ", obviously I didn't want to do that, standing up behind doing nothing, so I went to breakfast, and to set up my things for artist alley, which was soon to begin.

As you can see, the convention so far was a bit of a mess, and it was even more so. I'm very used for the artist alley to start my setup at least half an hour before the time indicated in the opening hours. So I arrived half an hour early with all my things, but the rooms were completely empty, and suddenly someone from the staff saw me and shouted in Spanish "YOU CAN'T BE HERE RIGHT NOW! COME BACK WHEN THE ARTISTS' ALLEY STARTS!" Hey, but I'm one of the artists who go to set ... "Yes, yes, everyone knows you, you're Paco Panda, and you're also a staff, but NEITHER YOUR FAME NOR YOUR POSITION ALLOW YOU TO BE HERE UNTIL THE TIME IT IS INDICATED IN THE SCHEDULE! " I was very angry at the attitude of that person, and maybe it was a little childish that I went to accuse him with the cheerman, anyway my complaint didn't help at all.

I was even more angry than when I arrived at the right time, supposedly when people could go to see what we were selling and ask for commissions, but we still didn't even make the setup ... they were setting up a different activity in that same room, and they had moved all the tables for their convenience. Again I went to complain to the big Furrnion authorities, who resolved the matter a bit and let the artists begin the setup. Although the hurry didn't help, because absolutely nobody was going to see the artists alley. We spent an hour, two hours there, and nobody.

It was not so bad at all, because among the artists we started talking and making friendships, we had fun talks and joked with each other, we even exchanged some stickers that we had to sell. But there came a point when that started to be exasperating, that nobody in the whole convention was really putting one paw in the place, so we started putting up posters with arrows so that people would know where the artist alley was. It worked with 3 people, who only went, they checked our things, they felt intimidated that nobody else was more than them, and they left. It was then that I decided to post on my networks that I was going to leave artists alley, since it was not being successful at all. At that moment people began to arrive and finally began asking for commissions. Some told me they were waiting until later to go see.

Maybe I was already used to the modus operandus of the conventions in America, where it seems that when they open the doors of the artists alley/dealers den, it's as if they live on a Black Friday, where they run to the artists to ask for commissions in the first hour. It was not at all the same in Spain.

Something very curious, is that the events at the convention were very linear, there weren't many options to do, and apparently the Karaoke was a great event, the whole convention was there watching the Karaoke (non other event was at the same time), and it was not like anyone could go and sign up to sing, they had already signed up for weeks before. For me, seeing people singing on a karaoke, good or bad, I find something very boring, but there was nothing else to do. I couldn't go to fursuit on my own because there were no more fursuiters around (at that point, I hadn't even used my fursuit yet), and the event lasted so long that the dance started much later than scheduled, however it ended at the same time it was scheduled so it lasted very little, and it was my only moment on that day (and my first time in the whole convention) that I was in fursuit.

The next day, Saturday, it was a little more fun, with more activities. Another bad point of the convention was that all the events were late. Sometimes I have seen at conventions that events are delayed 5 or 10 minutes, but in Furrnion they were late for hours. And that produced a chain effect that affected all the following events, especially because almost all the schedules were linear. But the fursuit parade, which although it was very short, was very fun. Tronchy had me disguised as a monk, in fursuit, I was the little priest panda, with a boat I started walking around the convention asking for cooperation for charity. It was like a competition between Tronchy and me to see who collected more money for charity, obviously I won, because pandas are cuter and people give us more money. >:3

I run a panel there, related to art, which now I think I should give more often at conventions. With delays, again. Well, my panel was supposed to start at 5pm. There I went back to find my "friend", that same guy shouting at me at the artist alley, and when I asked him where they had moved my panel (because according to the program, my panel was in a room that in the end never existed), he simply told me, again shouting " I DON'T KNOW, AND YOU SHOULDN'T READ THE PROGRAM, BECAUSE NOTHING IN THE PROGRAM IS RIGHT, PLEASE IGNORE IT!" There I learned that I shouldn't absolutely ask anything of him, and instead I went directly to the cheerman again, who gave me the solution, that my panel had moved at 6pm, and to a much larger room. The awesome thing is that they posted all over the place, announcements that my panel had changed place and time, so that everyone who were interested could find out.

According to me, I had prepared the panel in Spanish, my logic was "if I'm in Spain, the panel will have to be in Spanish", but what I didn't contemplate is that the convention helds people from many countries in Europe: UK, France, Germany , Italy...; and the universal language is, again, English. I had no problems in deciding to give my panel in English, and also that the room itself was full, there were many people determined to listen to me, which made me a little more nervous. My first question on the panel was in Spanish "Is there someone here who doesn¡t speak English?", What a shame when I saw 8 raised hands, that made me not only give the panel in English, but also in Spanish. It was very long, to be saying everything first in English and then translate it into Spanish, so it didn't last an hour, but two. And also the Q&A part was longer than I expected. Hey but I really liked how it ended my panel, I think it was a success.

Hey wait, there is another thing I have to tell about that. During the panel, someone from the staff arrived (if I remember correctly, it was the same grumpy guy, but maybe my memory failed, because I was not paying attention to him at all) , and without asking me for permission, he snatched the microphone and told me "we need it for the auction panel" and left, leaving me without microphone. Some people was pissed off with the staff to see that I had suddenly been left without a microphone, so they had to close the doors of the room so that no outside noise could fit, and I had to be screaming so that everyone could hear me. Apparently the event had only ONE microphone.

Immediately finishing the panel, I went up to my room to use the fursuit and start the Viernes Furry broadcast, the funny thing is that I just left my room to start the stream and in the hall there were already guys waiting for me, eager to get out on the stream. The stram was a success, and of course you can see it (as soon as you finish reading all this journal) in this link (sorry they are only in Spanish):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4-uYXxtnd4

By the time the convention was getting good, one of the first events on Sunday morning was the closing ceremony. It was very strange for me they close the event very early. And instead of people still having a party after the closure, in fact everyone started to leave, soon the hotel was empty, there was still daylight on Sunday and it seemed that the convention was a thing of the past.

After returning from a very long and tedious staff meeting, where everyone was shouting each other, and they barely were listening my feedback opinions; I was supposed to be in charge of the artists alley (which, according to the program, would be from 18 to 00 hours, very late for artists alley, isn't it?), but upon arrival, there were no artists interested in signing up, nor was there anyone who wanted to go and see if anyone was selling something else, the dead cheath (the Spanish version of "the dead dog") was indeed more dead than any dog, there were only two people dancing, not even in fursuit, and after a few minutes the room was completely empty. I really didn't wait to see if any artist bothered to arrive, I preferred to leave my booth, because that was depressing me a lot. And Tronchy still told me "the rest of the day is to have fun, enjoy the dead cheetah", if I had listened to him, I would have been there alone. Well, there was not even a DJ, they just left the music in play mode.

3. MADRID

After the convention, I spent a few more days in Madrid in good company with Moof, Orion, Rosebuster and Salmy (our host), exploring the tourist areas of Madrid, I also went to the zoo and Parque del Retiro with Rosebuster only. We tried the food of our three countries, first Spanish food, then Mexican food, and the last day Polish food.

When all the other guys went to their respective countries, and only Salmy and I were left; We went, along with other furries, to the premiere of "Los Vengadores", the last movie of The Avengers in its dubbed version with the classic Iberian accent. A whole new experience for me.

4. SWITZERLAND

I had once promised a good friend that, if I ever went to Europe, I would visit him, and that would happen when I finished a very large drawing with all the characters in his comic. And so it happened, promises are promises. This great friend is Hukley, great cartoonist, author of a funny comic called "Freddy Fox" (http://www.freddyfoxcomic.com/), a great person and an excellent friend. Finally I had the pleasure of meeting him in person.

And besides being a great host, he took me to see landscapes of his country that I couldn't believe they existed. Switzerland is beautiful, surrounded by snow-capped mountains, green fields, waterfalls, forests, lakes. There came a point when my eyes and my mind got used to seeing so many beautiful places. Once we passed a waterfall that was on the edge of a path, the waterfall was beautiful, but it was just another waterfall there, with no importance; and I told him that surely that same place, in any other country, would be a national park, instead of Switzerland is just another waterfall.

In his house we tried real yummy food, such as the fondeau with original Swiss cheese, the sausages, the liqueurs, the lasagna that his mother prepared (a great person, also, very lovely!). And it was also beautiful to meet his two cats, one of whom Hukley presumed was very sullen (the female), and that the other was very loving (the male). And it happened the opposite, it was the female cat who became fond of me and all the time she was following me, and the male cat very rarely was shown around.

It was a long and enjoyable weekend full of long talks, very short trips by car or train (the country is very small, it was very fast to get from one end to another), movie nights and video games (never before had enjoyed playing Mario Kart as that time), riding bikes through those beautiful landscapes, tasting delicious cuisine, full of cheeses and chocolates, trying to swim in a lake but failing in the attempt because the water was frozen.

Oh, talking about swimming, there was a morning when it was raining and completely cloudy (I was grateful that was not my first impression of Switzerland, because all the mountains were covered by fog), and that was when Hukley said "today is a perfect day for go to a water park ", it was very strange for me to say that, I think that in any other place, a rainy day would completely ruin a trip to a water park, but I was very surprised that when we arrived, it was an indoor park , all the slides were covered, as were most of the pools. It was very funny, I had not been to a water park for years and I remembered how much fun they are and how much I like them.

And speaking of water, a few days before, we arrived to a very beautiful city: Lucerne (after having gone to a city also just as beautiful named Berne, which I loved because of the fact that there were many symbols of bears, and even some real bears), in Lucerne we had the unfortunate that exact day was a marathon day, and the city was full of people, it was very difficult to walk, so instead of continuing to explore by paw, we rented a boat, and started pedaling near the lake. In the distance, a romantic saxophone music sounds, I told Hukley that it was a very romantic moment for both of us, and we laughed a lot (bros being bros). On the train back to his house I made a drawing related to that fact. (The boat was not in the shape of a Swan, it was only to give more dramatism):

For Hukley it was unforgivable if I went to Switzerland and didn't get to see snow, so he took me to Davos, a place that supposedly always has snow, but this time it didn't have it, and we continued on our way up to the mountains until we found a part with snow. Incredibly it was not cold, but the level of snow was very deep, there were times when walking my feet sank and snow got into my boots. It was fun.

We also went to Liechtenstein, a tiny country on the side of Switzerland, only 20 minutes driving from Hukley's house. We were in the capital, Vaduz, which I walked it in 10 minutes, and that because I went at a very slow pace. An extremely small city, whose number of inhabitants is no more than that of BLFC assistants, but it is also a very beautiful place, with its castle and many chinese toursists around.

Driving up a mountain, it was a road of only one lane, but it was a double way road, so in the middle of a curve, you could find another car going down. Huk was telling me that kind of roads are very common in the mountains, and there is where usually people learn how to drive, because that way they learn to be very careful with other cars. Then we hiked up that mountain, when we couldn't keep driving, until we reached a very high part, where we could see the whole valley, and beyond the mountains that we had opposite. What surprised me a lot was that we could see some isolated houses high up in the mountains, which made me wonder how these people live? In truth they must have a very hermit life.

I spent some beautiful days in Switzerland with Hukley, it was my favorite part, and the most relaxing part of the trip. I have very nostalgic and beautiful memories of all those moments, I really enjoyed it a lot.

5. MUSEUMS AND STRANGE FOOD IN MADRID

When I returned to Madrid, I realized that until that moment I had not been able to say that I had really tasted the typical food of Spain, what until then we had eaten was McDonalds, Burger King, tapas, tortas, Mexican and Polish food.

But once I came back, I started to really try what was the food of Spain, and I sure missed a lot to try. However, I can't say that I am a fan of its gastronomy, some things were hard for me to decide to try them, like octopus, blood sausage, paella (and its giant lobster that I was afraid to see, much more to have on my plate, and worse still try it), the piglet; other very rich things like veal or deer (sorry, Tiny Deer, Buckley, Kinter and more deer friends); and things that I definitely didn't even have the courage to want to try as the ear pigs.

Another very curious thing about Madrid were its "terraces", that every time they mentioned a terrace, I imagined a high part of a building, and not simply chairs with tables directly on the street. Which personally made me very uncomfortable, sitting at a table in the street while pedestrians pass by you and see you eat. For me there is nothing better than sitting inside a restaurant, the farther from a window, better, so I can feel I'm no longer on the street. That is personal preference. But it seems that Spaniards enjoy much more than people pass by them while they eat, because even the prices of food and drinks on the terrace were higher; and sometimes when you arrived at a place, the waitresses said with great sorrow and with possible client's disappointment, that they had no place available on the terrace, only inside, and that was even better for me. I really didn'tt like to sit in the street to eat.

My favorite food of all the rest of the time that I were in Spain was a buffet of Japanese food, where I could fill my glass, supposedly for wine, with soda. All dishonor to any Spanish, hehe, I'm sorry, it was really very yummy.

Those extra days in Spain we took advantage of very well, visiting museums, such as the Thyssen (my favorite), Reina Sofia and El Prado museum, as well as places around Madrid such as Toledo, the castle of Manzanares, Segovia (visiting its aqueduct and the Alcazar), the monastery of El Escorial, the royal palace of Madrid, the cathedral, and Chueca, the gay area of Spain which took us a long time to find, because Salmy was lost, at the moment of wanting to be my guide.

Something that I didn't like so much about some touristic places in Spain is that they don't allow you to take pictures of anything, and the guards walk in the hunt for tourists who try to take pictures. It seemed more sinful to take a picture of something than to touch with your fingers something historic (which was sometimes allowed, but ironically you couldn't take them a picture). So I saw many tourists doing their best to break their absurd law, taking out their cell phones quickly to take a picture as soon as possible to something before a guard noticed. It was like a game for all tourists, a challenge. I think they should simply let the tourists enjoy, taking picture memories of the places visited, and only not allow the use of flash, as in almost everywhere happens.

Thanks to Balasch for going out with me one day when Salmy was not at home. With that guy I went to a record store, where I bought Mecano's "Aidalai" album, just because I don't have that one in physic, it's my favorite album from Mecano, and I can say that I bought it in the original land of the band. And thanks for that good talk with beer in that bar.

Yes I liked Madrid, it was very interesting to have visited and see where part of the roots of the culture of my country come from, well, the roots from the conquer, which was a very important part of the final culture of my country, combined with the aztec, mayans and other original roots. As well as things that we Mexicans believe are very typical of us, such as rice pudding, churros and marzipan. Something great about Spain is that rice pudding don't have raisins (Thank you, Spain!)

6. THE GREAT ADVENTURE HEADING TO BLFC

Here comes a very interesting part of the journal, but first, to know that you are still reading up to this point, comment "Paco doesn't like peanut butter". (Don't judge)

In this part of the trip several unexpected moments. Starting with the flight back from Madrid to NYC, being a flight to the United States, they only allowed 50 pounds (23 kilos), not 25 kilos (55 pounds) as in the previous flights, and since I already had a little more luggage than when I started the trip, the wright marked that my luggage was 25 kilos. What a problem! I had to take two kilos out, and also I was not allowed to carry the carry-on with me (my suitcase where I put my furhead, to take it with me all the time, so I wouldn't see it again until San José, CA. Around 28 hours later). Not knowing what else to take from my suitcase, I exchanged the paws of my fursuit for my shoes, being that the fursuit paws are heavier, and then I wore my paws all the rest of the journey in airports. The security guards had different opinions about my panda shoes, some laughed at me, others told me they looked very comfortable, and others said it was super cute, and they asked me why I was wearing that.

In my wait for change of plane, in Munich, Germany, I had an anxiety attack, I had never lived one, now I know what it feels like. At that time I desperately wanted to be at home, however I was barely halfway through my planned trip, but it was so much my despair that I even looked for flights from NYC to Guadalajara, to see if it was possible to just return and make landfall in America, but the prices were very exaggerated, being that they were for that same day. I decided to calm down, to think that nothing was going to go wrong. And I suddenly felt a new fear during the trip already on the plane from Munich to NYC, because I had a very silly dream where they didn't let me back to the United States and they threatened to deport me, and I couldn't sleep the rest of the way, which was very long.

But no, when I arrived in the United States, I went very easy, very few customs questions, everything went well. A funny experience during my waiting on the JFK airport, in NYC, was when I went for a coffee to Starbucks, there was next to me a....person (sorry if I couldn't tell the gender, it was a short person, no boobs, short hair, but their aspect was like a girl, with curves and a girly cute face), it was a pretty person to be honest, they were staring at me, like wanting to start talking to me. I'm so shy that I couldn't tell them anything first, but I knew they really wanted to start a conversation with me, and didn't know how. When the starbucks girl called my name "Paco!", I could see how this mysterious person decided to come with me and told me "Hey, I love your art", then they run away and disappeared. I would have loved to know who were them and said something back. Anyways is the first time someone made me feel famous, out any furry convention.

Another great thing about the plane from NYC to San Jose was that we started our flight during sunset, and since we were flying to the opposite of the world, I could se a beautiful sunset for 3 hours.

Hey, Paco. But the convention is in Reno, NV, not in San Jose, CA. What happens is that when looking for flights, it was outrageously expensive to get directly to Reno, I couldn't find anything accessible, so I looked instead for San Jose (much cheaper, it was really much the difference in price), and since I have many friends there, surely somebody would leave me ride with them to BLFC.

And so it was, I found that my friends Pepe Mapache and Mirawis would leave on Thursday morning to Reno, with their trailer, and enough space for me and my bags. In addition, there was also his Chihuahua puppy, which was very quiet throughout the trip.

Something unexpected happened: the truck stopped working halfway. It started to show some problems when we started the trip, but it was thought that it wouldn't be a great inconvenience and that it could survive until Reno. But more ahead to Sacramento, in the middle of nowhere, the transmission ended up overheating and leaking large amounts of oil (A lady was shocked because she thought that the oil was blood that we had run over a deer). At that time Pepe and Mira decided that it would be better to return to San Jose, but I had many commitments in BLFC, and I even had to be there the next morning in the event.

I didn't posted my problem publicly, I didn't want to cause a lot of gossip or half the world knew that (However, already at the convention, apparently everyone found out about that problem, because many asked me how we had solved everything), I just told some friends to see if they knew someone who was also heading to BLFC and were at that time near Sacramento, it had to be a great coincidence for that to happen, however there were two coincidences that met those requirements, except one: They didn't have space for me. There were two cars that were just up to Sacramento and were heading to the convention, but they were completely full.

But several friends started giving me solutions: Mira was very tempted to pay me a Lyft to take me to Reno (which would have given me much embarrassment; if that was a solution, I could have paid without problems, but he insisted on covering that expense ), and 3 friends offered to go for me, even if they were already at the convention. A very great gesture on their part, really thank you, guys, for the solutions. However Pepe and Mira decided that we were going to get to Reno in any way with that truck, even if it came to pieces.

Have you seen "Little Miss Sunshine"? Something like that happened to us. We were on the freeway heading to the Grand Sierra, we were seeing the building, the truck was still overheating, there were 10 minutes left by 12 o'clock at night, the time when the BLFC registration closed (and I needed to have my registration ready for the next morning), so we kept driving until we reached the parking lot of the hotel, they left the van in a random spot, we just went out and ran to the hotel, right where the registration was, and when they arrived, they closed the curtain behind us, and they could give us our badge on time. It was 12 o'clock.

After a long day full of broken trucks, I greeted my roomies (which this time were Tiny Deer, Jae Bunny and Sander the black cat), I put on the fursuit and went down to dance.

Now if you are at this point of the journal, write me if you like peanut butter or not.

7. BLFC

Along with MFF, this is my favorite convention, and I was there again, in that place whose strange smell brings me so many good memories, and seeing so many happy furries always puts a big smile on my face. I love BLFC.

On this occasion I made many plans, I had so many things to do during that weekend that I almost had everything planned for what was going to happen those 3 days. But of course there were some things that made many plans go bankrupt: in this year they banned the use of fursuits in go-karts and mini-golf. And several of us had planned to do those activities, and no, not in our human version, but in fursuit. But later I'll tell you what happened.

Friday was of artists' alley, which was one of those that I enjoyed and I'm already very familiar with as they are, it's like my comfort zone. As soon as the doors opened, the commission slots were completely filled. I chatted with a lot of people, I took pictures with several fursuits that came to visit me at my table, I was glad to meet people I had never met before but only online, and I was also happy to see people who are already like a family for me.

In the afternoon I was in the fursuit festival. About that issue shown on internet about the girl who was bullied... I knew absolutely nothing, I found out until I checked the internet and the BLFC published the news, but neither at that time nor during any time of the convention I saw something related to that. But speaking of rodents, something very special for me in that furuit festival, right after they took the group photo, was meeting Mausie, the NordicFuzzCon's mascot. When I saw him, I was about to mourn with happiness, I couldn't help that big smile on my face, even when nobody could see it and everyone just saw that big smile of my fursuit that, although it is always very sincere, this time fitted more that never with my real smile.

A very good friend asked me what my favorite part of BLFC was, and it may sound very exaggerated but I can't help but answer "Mausie". What a great personality that mouse has. I admire the performance in fursuit of many people, who sometimes ask me why I admire them so much if they are not artists like me, and it is clear that I consider them as great artists, the interpretation of a character is something that not everyone can do well. Mausie is one of those characters that I think are exaggeratedly well interpreted.

I will try not to talk so much about Mausie or if I will not tire you, thank you if you continue reading this during this point, not many have the patience to read such long texts on internet.

Another moment that I enjoyed a lot was the dance set "Audiodile", by my great friend Croc. Not only because their remixes cause me to dance and they are very fun, but also because many friends in common go to that set, precisely to dance with his music, and I always find very well-known faces. After he finished his set, instead of continuing to dance, I went to see the Foxes and Peppers show, which I always enjoy a lot.

The next day was also a great day, sharing a time with new and old friends like Shorty, Croc, Koidel and Jib Kodi. That day I went back to see Mausie <3 in the inflatable panel, which was very fun and I could see how Mausie and Croc were running in a big bubble. Although this time at this con there was very little space for them to run inside the bubble, it was fun. I have never been able to get inside the bubble, there is always a long line waiting for other fursuiters, and I always prefer to keep playing with all the inflatables and fursuiters instead of waiting. But when I saw that Mausie was getting into one of those bubbles, I pleaded to be in the other, and so play together with Mausie, both in our respective bubbles; but they didn't allow me, because there was already someone else waiting for their turn u__u And since they told me it was my turn to get into the bubble, either Jib, Mausie and Croc were gone, so ... with which friend was I going to be able to share my time while I was in the bubble? Only Koidel was there but he was already lying in an inflatable, tired. I rejected the invitation and better I left the panel. I'm not complaining at all, it was very fun and I have very nice moments from that time we were playing with the inflatables.

One of my definitely favorite moments of the convention, was having a good time with Mausie (eh, once again...Mausie), while he was playing with other fursuiters in the dealer's den with the convention props, like dice, hula hoop rings, the tricycle, and other own props from other fursuiters. That rodent is just beautiful.

Remember that I had told you that they didn't allow fursuits in go karts this year? Well yes, it was, they didn't change their mind, but we had an exception, thanks to Shorty, a friend very close to Mausie and also a new great friend of mine, moved heaven, sea and land to have that great exception. We went Mausie, Jib Kodi, Keepo and I in a Go-Karts race that we were videotaping, and I'm really looking forward to see that video edited because I know it was spectacular.

That evening, with Fox Amoore, Dixie, Kurtt, Ed Puma, Alf and Majira, we run a panel about our travel experience in Mexico. There were fewer people than expected (it was logical, at that time all were already at parties or dancing) but that was not wrong, at least we made people laugh, we talked a bit about Mexico, we gave some typical candies. In the middle panel, Majira's fursuit arrived (someone else was using it) and I asked Majira (the real one) ... "then who are you?" Oh, Majira told an embarrassing anecdote about me driving, that anecdote I hadn't told in the other journal where I spoke about my trip to Mexico because it seemed very shameful. It was about a toll, seeing that other cars were passing by without stopping, I thought it was a free toll (that maybe it was not working), when I was about to pass through, the bar closed in front of me, stopping suddenly. I realized that the cars in front had the automatic payment chip, which of course I didn't have. >////< That was the experience Majira told about "Panda driving".

Another very funny thing during the panel was Majira's curious facts about Mexico, which were not surprising and that made it funnier, such as "Did you know that the main language in Mexico is Spanish?"

The last night I played bowling with Kazan, Cosu Raccoon, TK Coyote, Wusky and Koidel. Before I escaped to go dancing for the last time.

It was a very nice convention, I would have liked to share time with many more people, but I just ended up saying hi to many people I knew and I was very happy to see, and it was practically a hello and a goodbye, but thanks to everyone with whom I was able to share incredible moments during that weekend. As it has always been BLFC, once again it was a very fun convention.

8. ANOTHER GREAT ADVENTURE HEADING TO LAS VEGAS (WITH A STOP IN SAN JOSE)

And here begins another great adventure.

My BLFC plan ended with an adventure to Las Vegas, accepting the invitation of my friend Cloud Husky to visit him. And since I had never been to that city in Nevada before, I planned my flight back home from Las Vegas.

I was determined to buy bus tickets from Reno to Las Vegas, not to be a problem for anyone, however Kurtt told me that there was a caravan of cars that were going to Las Vegas from Reno, and that I could be included in one of those , contacting me with Dreyse, who is the organizer of such caravan. But everything went wrong when one of the trailers that was going to Las Vegas, left earlier than normal, without telling anyone, and then those who ran out of place from the caravan were Koidel and me. And even though we tried to find a new ride, they were all full. So we had to improvise. (By the way, thanks Shorty, for being there with us during our wait to know what would happen to us).

Our spontaneous plan was to take a ride with Koby and Jib Kodi, who were going to San Francisco, to be able to leave Jib Kodi at the airport. There was enough space for us and our bags.

While we were going to San Jose, and I with the question in my head "why are we going to San Jose and not Las Vegas?", I started moving contacts and figuring out how we were going to get to Las Vegas later. First I warned Cloud that we were not going to arrive as soon as we thought. And then to Croc, who lives in San Jose with Bacon and Jimmy: -Hello, unexpected plans, Koidel and me are going to San Jose -Oh really? When? -TODAY! (Hehe, sorry for being so unexpected and spontaneous) And then I bought bus tickets from San Jose to Las Vegas a day after.

Thank you very much, Croc, Bacon and Jimmy for letting us stay one night at your home, and thanks to Blue Badger and Bacon for picking us up at San Jose station, it was very fun to see a car arriving with a big badger fursuit on the front seat.

We spent one night with these guys, it was a nice day, playing Mario Kart (unlike Hukley's house, I was very bad this time, it was a very different version than the one I played in Switzerland), watching movies and videos of conventions from more than 10 years ago. I always have a great time with those guys. Croc is one of my best friends.

And a new adventure began when we left on the bus from San Jose to Las Vegas. It's the first time I use the Greyhound bus service. I missed a lot the bus services in Mexico, which are super comfortable, with internet, pillows, very reclining seats that are like beds, movies, etc. Oh no, these were hard-seat buses, with giant windows without curtains, seats very close to each other that don't leave room for the knees, and I knew that they would be very long hours.

We made several stops, either for breakfast, stretch our legs, enter the restroom. Those were very short stops of 10 minutes, maximum 30 in some specials stops. But in one of those that lasted only 10 minutes, I appreciated that stop because I really needed to use the restroom, and really didn't want to use the bus (smelled terrible). I run to the stop's restroom, it was one of those toilets with doors, which locks need to be closed very hard, you had to apply a lot of force to be able to close it. That was a big problem, I would have preferred to leave it open and live a shame that someone opened the door thinking it was free, comparing with what happened next.

After rushing to go back to the bus, I tried to open, and I realized that I was stuck, even though I applied a lot of force I couldn't open the door. I started to scare because it had been more than 10 minutes and I kept trying to open the cubicle door, of despair, when I realized that I was not going to be able to achieve it, I went out on the bottom floor, dragged myself, leaving the door closed, and ran to reach to the bus, and what a surprise when I realized that the bus was no longer there. I don't know why I was not scared at that moment, I remember that I just thought "Oh, crap, they left me" but without any worry; I took the phone to call Koidel and tell him to stop the bus, when I thought about "stopping the bus" it was that moment I started to get very worried, of course the driver wouldn't stop if he was already halfway there! But fortunately it stopped, I ran to the highway, and I realized that it had not really go very far, but oh geez, I don¡t know what I would have done if they had definitely left. X_X

Remember guys, if you have time limit to enter a public restroom in the stop of a bus, make sure not to lock the cubicle door so tightly.

And after hours and hours of more freeway and a monotonous view of the desert of California and Nevada, we finally arrived in Las Vegas.

9. LAS VEGAS

What can I tell about Vegas? Many years ago I thought: I want to explore the world; and go that dream is being achieved. But there was a fact that had in my head "The place I want least to know is Las Vegas", I've never been a party guy or alcohol drinker, much less be gambling and wanting to live in excess, and for me that was the meaning of Las Vegas, I was not very attracted to that. But when I started having friends who are from there, and receiving invitations from them (like RedWulf, E, and now Cloud), I gave this city a chance.

I could describe it as "Spectacular". It really is full of luxuries, elements that encourage vice and sex, is not something that I have to persist, not that I am a saint, hehe. In the end, I really changed my concept of Las Vegas, not only is it the place of perdition and fun that they show in the movies, I could find in Las Vegas that which I admire so much from the Americans, and that is to be able to fulfill any crazy idea that have in their mind, and also make it look impressive. In every city that I visit from United States, I see that, that great creativity and imagination that not only stays in a thought "this would be absurd", but they really make those absurd ideas true. And not only talking about pyramid-shaped buildings, giant coke bottles, roller coasters surrounding a hotel, lakes in the middle of an avenue that dance to the rhythm of music, and Roman temples converted into hotels; I also talk about furry conventions, comic conventions, spectacular concerts, plays that leave people with their mouths open. Americans dare to dream, and to make their dreams come true. (A fact that I need they lack them, is a good taste of their food, hehe, they believe that the more quantity, the better)

Cloud Husky was a great host, I had a great time with him and with his friends who introduced me, just as I introduced friends who were local for him and he didn't know. They were Red Wulf and Erwin. Who was very fun to visit, we were in fursuit at the RedWulf's house, we set up our own "furry convention" in their house, and we titled it "RedCon 2018". We even had our own fursuit parade, artists alley, fursuit lounge and even fursuit games (the challenge was to raise a 10 cent coin from the floor with our fursuit paws, it's more difficult than it seems).

Thank you, Yaps, for insisting that they take us to eat at SkinnyFats, all of us went for the happy side.

We were not only in the city seeing lights and hotels, Cloud and his dad (both his parents are very kind, great people, like his dog Dusty, who looked like Koidel's pop filter) took us to see the Hoover Dam, incredible gigantic dam. Really spectacular. Something I didn¡t expect to see on the trip.

The last night, before leaving home, we went out with several furries to walk the Vegas strip in fursuit, a great way to close this trip, another of my favorite moments that will remain in the prosperity of my memory.

Before going to the airport, we tried to book a room for MFF, but we failed in the attempt, as well as 98% of the people who also tried T_T But anyway we'll go to MFF, it doesn't matter if it's not at the main hotel.

And this is how this trip ends, we returned to Guadalajara. Roni went through us, I missed that dog very much, I hugged him like never before, and I thank him infinitely for the patience he has in keeping me out so long, he knows I always carry him with me in my heart.

Experiences like this make one learn so much, and they are adventures that nobody can take away from me. It's one of the best investments one can make in their life and for their spirit.

Thank you very much for reading me, see you in Megaplex for more adventures!!

If you want to check ALL my pictures from this adventure:

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/tl2ean1a3wdnfi1/AACoP8qjTsYkeKUM9cI_i03sa?dl=0

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girlwithlandscape · 7 years ago

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“art in america” - Sophie Robinson

at dusk each day i like to think of all my new friends in different parts of the city jerking off running baths vaping weed getting sober running their mouths & reading poetry aloud to one another. alice says i have the right to repeat myself so i do alice says you can cry if you need to so i do she looks away scrolls pictures of dogs on instagram & we watch the traffic dancing towards the bridge everybody on their way somewhere i want to go far— jameson says i know u know it will get better i nod closed mouthed in a gesture i believe to convey quiet bravery (too little too late) it’s so hot & close u can almost lick the weather’s face today steam rises off the east river in a film god kills herself by removing her own intestines i don’t have the guts to watch it jameson’s poems are so rangey on the bench like a godhead my mother’s arm is broken & strapped to her side on skype my dad calls me baby in a text when he’s drunk i don’t know what this means god’s suicide scene at the cinema last night we didn’t understand a thing but were so happy just to be there not on our way anywhere. i want to go far far — the film said loving someone was the only thing to do & in it one of the characters described the music he listened to as soupy it’s a bad translation cori laughs & made a joke in french. un soupçon — the film begins & ends with a woman covered in blood & andrew said maybe we are supposed to understand it all backwards i guess that’s how love works too it’s all faith until the end & then you see it later for what it is or wasn’t or what it coulda been the whole trick when i see your face or hear your name i want to pass out from love from sadness from shame & from regret. when i arrived in america i wished simply to drown in feeling & forget about work but then i got so wet i had to start swimming. steam rises off the east river. john giorno says it’s not what happens it’s how you handle it— i chew on language here: philly cheesesteak rockaway park taconic state parkway restroom sidewalk mama i’m so tired some days i take secret photographs of americana & feel like a normal alien alice & i talk on a bench whilst the sun sets & watch the lights in the apartment building opposite turn on one by one. last week i drank bourbon & cried for four nights solid soaking through my sheets my t shirts & the mattress. over & over. fevery dream in which i see a drunk woman (me) doing shots & snorting coke from a key. i tell her let me help you & then i open a wound on her arm & remove from the wound a giant plastic egg. i crack the egg to reveal a small wooden sphere & from it emerges a large white rat. don’t ask me how. i put the rat on a leash & walk it back to my apartment. i go to sleep in my dream petting the rat & wake up feeling good. i give the rat breakfast which she eats happily. i kiss her head. i go back to the bar & find the woman (me) sicker than ever. thin, sweating, with two black eyes & a purple arm. i say hey what happened & she says you shouldn’t have taken what you took the way you took it. you shouldn’t have taken what you took the way you took it. you shouldn’t have taken what you took the way you took it. i leave her on the floor to die. what do i care. i have my rat. alice says i have the right to repeat myself so i do. on the hot drive from hudson cathy gets me to do impressions of different british accents and describe the city i come from. when I get back to my apartment i vomit in the kitchen sink then the bathroom sink then the toilet then again in the shower. pink ribbons of bile & wine. I am the only person at the john giorno installation in hell’s kitchen on a wednesday afternoon & i cry for twenty minutes watching him speak on a twenty foot projector screen. thanks for nothing america i did it all without you i sometimes wish a lesbian could be given this much room. to do anything. you don’t love me & the feeling of not being loved comes in waves steam rising off the east river i kiss my rat’s head. i am such a bad peach. seeing it all backwards. the world is so big! desire alone makes it small there’s nothing funny about being a lesbian today on my hands & knees like juiced fruit in prayer position at the gallery the cinema the bathroom floor you shouldn’t have taken what you took the way you took it when i got back to the apartment the rat was drunk when i got back to the apartment the rat jerked me off when i got back to the apartment the rat was me jameson gets me to stand on stage at the amphitheatre by the river to take a picture steam rises i lose sight of him for a second & it’s just me & the water & the bridge & the dog gently pissing [self help / fake rumi poem says only when i quit believing in myself did i come to such beauty] there’s a power in loneliness i need to channel there’s a freedom in not being loved i need to channel it’s not what happens it’s how you handle it — i came to america to be a solid gold flower floating down the river & now reduced to repeating my own name out loud, my DOB, where i live the things i did today. splashing my face in the kitchen sink over & over honestly i am sick of helping jesus count days my mother’s limp white arm. the things she gave & took. mama i’m so sad america begins & ends in blood i want to go far far far — sometimes i get off on meanness the holding back the love that’s bucking against the gate penny arcade says when she came to new york she saw a sign at a head shop saying you are a daughter of the universe this city is mine just as much as it’s anyones! today is my 32nd birthday. i wish i had never been born. andy warhol was a fraud. fame is a kind of violence. ambition makes me sick. i want to close every door. i don’t care about kathy acker. i don’t care about anything anymore. there’s no art in america, it’s all sugar & war. i shouldn’t have taken what i took the way i took it but listen: wherever in the world if i never see you again always on your way somewhere i will love you gently the whole length of my life i want nothing for you but endless poetry easy ppl slow morning strong coffee dynamic emoji time to read dancing dog uncracked screen mountain bunny a million years deep sense of peace & somebody who loves you for free when she sees your animal grace your swagger the way you open fruit </3 o! i am glad to have known you my devastating weakness my white rat my river of gold & my old wild american heart xxx

#poetry #poem #sophie robinson #beauty #love #getting over it #unrequited love #art in america #sacred texts #quote

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wendyalice-archive · 7 years ago

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Please could you write some Schubert & Beethoven hurt/comfort? (Ship or platonic)

((A.N On with the request train!))

In the beginning, it took a lot of time for Schubert to acknowledge the fact he was probably dead.

To be fair, it was hard to think of such a thing when he was trapped in some Fae-driven purgatory.

All the signs were there, really. The strange, offsetting world that surrounded him, the strange language that he understood almost better than his own German tongue, and he was trapped here with that rat, Mozart. He had a landlady that made him pay rent (in fact so much of this horrible world made him pay for every little thing, even water) and, worst of all, his beloved Muse, the great and fantastic Beethoven, hated him.

Or, truthfully, he just seemed to ignore him.

No matter what he did, how he praised him, how fervently he followed his every move, Beethoven never truly acknowledged him.

Worse yet…..Schubert would stand to the side, jealously gazing at Mozart who fitted himself to Beethoven’s side as though he was made to be there.

Another horrid reality inside this nightmare world.

So, again, before he gets distracted once more, he truly would forget from time to time that to be trapped here…..he must be dead.

How fitting then should he be reminded of this fact by the music of his senpai.

—————-

He’s not sure why he came here.

This purgatory has so few places to go to be alone (perhaps another feature to the unending list) but he has found the only place to be alone is at the park at dusk. As long as he isn’t making too much of a scene, any passerby would shoot him a side-eyed glance but ultimately leave him be.

He is not expecting anyone to care about a sad, lonely looking man sitting on the children’s swing set. He doesn’t imagine anyone will care about said man as sits and stares despondently at the sunset, the man trying to absorb the gold and orange glow setting the discolored world he’s trapped within aflame and allowing him the only reprieve he has left from it’s cruel reality of kites that whisk him away and houses filled with terrible, classless geniuses.

He is not expecting to see anyone he recognizes or, for that matter, someone who lives almost perpetually in his thoughts.

“Senpai?” Schubert asks, unsure of if some dream-like enchantment has been placed over him to envision his dearest person right before him.

Beethoven’s eyes spot him but they hold him with little regard, as they always do, and he doesn’t even greet or wave to him. The best Schubert gets is a lift of those thin, erratic eyebrows. Even this cannot lift Schubert’s spirits.

Beethoven must sense this because, as Schubert turns his gaze away to stare more at the fading light on the horizon, the other man moves closer and starts to speak.

“The Young One and the rest were looking for you.”

Schubert doubts that. He can’t even imagine why any of them would be looking for him except to, perhaps, harass him about the rent. It’s at the reminder of rent money that has Schubert starting to feel a little shamefaced and it cuts through the deep despair. He not only embarrassed himself but also probably lost that job.

Schubert thinks of what to even say to Beethoven or about any of his thoughts, but the only thing to come out is “Ah.”

Beethoven stands there, his features starting to look pinched and it’s only after a moment that Schubert expects that Beethoven-senpai may have–!

“Senpai, did you….did you come looking for me?” Schubert asks, softly, breath caught as he turns to the other with wide, hopeful eyes.

Beethoven seems to flinch at this and looks away, crossing his arms, “I always take my evening walk by here. I told her I would say something if I saw you.”

Schubert’s face falls and he looks away, the melancholy hitting him back ten fold.

“Ah,” he says.

Schubert goes back to staring at the sky, his heart sinking as he watches the outer edges of purple-pink clouds grow wider, their tips melding with the midnight blue of the oncoming evening. When the sun dips below, fading out of sight and leaving him only the memory of it’s gentle warmth, he’ll have to go back to the house. He’ll have to explain to the LandLady about what happened at the music store, about why he’s very sorry but he didn’t get the job.

“Why are you here?”

Schubert turns back to Beethoven, surprised he was still standing there. He blinks and isn’t sure if he’s hearing things. The way Beethoven is staring at him, those verdant eyes sizing him up the way they do in Schubert’s dreams, in his private moments, and again, he cannot help but believe he is simply hallucinating the other man at the moment.

“I had nowhere else to go,” Schubert says, unable to pull back the misery from his voice or smothering the whining. His head lowers and his shoulders fall, his whole body seeming to sink even further into the swing as he plays back his thought process coming here.

What place will let me pretend?

How sad. How sad that he didn’t want the comfort of a hot meal or a friend’s willing shoulder. How sad that he had neither to fall back on, to make this limbo world and all it’s lukewarm highs and it’s abysmally ice-cold lows any bit tolerable. How sad that the only thing he has is the vanishing image of a sunset in a children’s park because he truly had nothing else.

He was a dead man or, perhaps more aptly, the shadow of a dead man.

Schubert doesn’t know when it happened but one moment Beethoven is there, at the edge of the park, a solemn, far away figure lit by the dying glow of the sunset, and suddenly he was standing right by Schubert, moving to the other side. His beloved senpai plops down in the swing by Schubert, the swing swaying a bit by the sudden weight and their knees brush just slightly as it swings Beethoven. Schubert goes stock still, jackhammer pulse and burning ears, and tries not to stare at Beethoven, his knee, or the very small distance between them. He just stares, stiff as a board, at the last sliver of the sun.

Beethoven sits next to him, watching the same scene in absolute silence.

Together, they watch the world become dark. It’ll be a few minutes before the moon will become visible and the weak starlight from above does nothing to help to cut through the pitch black curtain. The lights from streetlights, the space between them like long stretches of dark silence, help to reveal and comfort any evening visitors that the road is still there, and so is the sidewalk, and all that they knew in the daytime hasn’t been swallowed up by the night. Schubert turns to trace the barely visible lines of Beethoven’s face with just his eyes and is compelled beyond all reason to tell him. He wants to tell him that he knows. He knows that he’s dead, that when he started weeping during the interview at the song playing on the record player, the owner had remarked on not only Beethoven but Schubert as well.

“You’ve got the name like the famous guy,” she had said, handing him her handkerchief, “You even got a thing for Beethoven too.”

He wants to tell Beethoven that the lady showed him Schubert, Franz Schubert, who Schubert may not even really be, and showed him his date of death. She showed him a picture of his grave.

He wants to tell Beethoven that he’s glad if only for the fact that they were buried close to each other, even though the very thought is morbid and upsetting. He wants to tell him that that was the only fact that kept him from screaming but couldn’t stop him from running out the door, running out of the shop, and running all the way here. It didn’t stop Schubert from sinking behind a nearby tree and sobbing, gasping for breath, because he is a young man, was a young man and there was so much he had wanted to do. There was so much he wanted to see. He wanted to tell him there’s still so much he wants to do.

He wants to tell him that if the reason Beethoven is here, in this hell, because Schubert wanted him here so badly that he gave up his soul to do it, that he is really and truly sorry.

He doesn’t say any of it though.

“Senpai?”

“Mmm?”

“Thank you.”

“….You’re welcome.”

#Classicaloid #my fic #This took so long because it's so HARD to write Schubert sometimes #he has SO MANY THOUGHTS but has such simple actions most of the time ESPECIALLY WHEN HE'S SAD

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dangoghz · 7 years ago

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chlorine kisses

word count: 1k

summary: basically uh dnp are in the maldives, and their wedding is tomorrow, so they share a few kisses by the poolside. very fluffy a lil nostalgic. also quite cheesy

a/n: a short fluffy thing !!! that i wrote !!! for real !!! no baguettes !!! based off my holiday wedding trip theoru !! enjoy !!! under the cut !!!!

Dan opened his eyes to a bright blue sky swathed with white clouds, light flickering through their linings. He momentarily forgot where he was, only knew that it was a paradise. The sky calmed him. His back ached. He could see the tops of palm trees as he stared up. A splash from nearby returned him to the earth.

“Babe! Are you awake?” called a low, lovely voice.

“Phil, your splashing woke me up!” Dan tried to sound irritated but he was smiling as he sat up on the pool seat to face his boyfriend. “How long have you just been floating on that donut in there?”

“I don’t know! I think I was starting to fall asleep too, and then I fell off.” Ah. “Come in here!”

Dan whined. “Absolutely not, I feel so nice and dry!”

Phil rolled his eyes and pulled his tall figure out of the pool. As he stood up, Dan could see the droplets of water drip off his shoulders, one by one rolling smoothly to his pale elbows. Phil’s hair was swooped back dashingly into a soaked quiff. His blue eyes were stronger with the matching hues of the Maldive sky. A single droplet of water gathered on the tip of Phil’s nose like a lantern dangling on a moonlit porch. He smiled, and Dan started smiling too, for whatever reason, until Phil snorted. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Uh-“ Dan didn’t know really. He was probably still drowsy from his nap. That is, until, this happened.

“Oh, come on, rat!” Phil grabbed Dan’s wrist and pulled him off of the lounge seat, Dan’s towel flying through the air from his hands, and ran to the pool edge, flinging himself and Dan into the pool simultaneously. He was whisked under the surface and opened his eyes to see Phil right in front of him. The chemicals teased his corneas, the water tickled his cheeks, but he kept staring at Phil’s moonshaped, captivating eyes. His black hair floated around his head like a halo of the night sky. The eyes drew closer, the eyes grew bluer. Phil’s nose touched Dan’s, and Dan felt the bubbles in his chest grow, and pop, grow, and pop, and grow, and grow, until they surrounded his heart. He felt safe.

All at once Dan felt a sensation spread from his lips to his wrists to his ankles. Phil’s lips brushed softly against his own, patiently, as if the water could not suffocate them. Dan cupped Phil’s cheek before they had to go back up to the surface. Waves of nervosity drifted on his lips. After eight years, eight years of makeouts and sex and god knows what else, a single pucker could still send him into the sky.

Dan felt the cold water remain on his head as he bobbed onto the surface of their private pool. Phil glanced at him with a smirk. “You’re so easily amused,” he teased.

“Shut up!” Dan splashed him, and proceeded to wade to the edge of the pool, the lip tingles still prevailing. “Oh, fine, come here.”

“Whatever you want, lover boy!” Phil did one of his precious tongue laughs as he splashed his way over. He pressed his palms against the pool’s cement rim, looking at Dan, who was leaning between the aforementioned palms, with raised eyebrows.

Dan’s curls bounced gently with the tropical air. “I hate you,” he muttered as he wrapped his hands around his boyfriend’s neck and leaned up to join their mouths again. Phil tasted like pool water and mojito and also like the best taste ever. His soft lips soothed Dan, and he was reminded of that first kiss on the Manchester eye, overlooking the city that would spur them into a happy, wonderful life filled with cereal and neck kisses and morning anime. He was reminded of when they had taken a walk through a cherry-blossom-filled park in Japan, at dusk, with the birds singing. He was reminded of laughing and cuddling and talking about sweet nothings and everythings for hours after their last stage show. He was reminded of when they had done some stuff at Phil’s parent’s house and accidentally made a mess in the master bedroom. He was reminded of love— and how, tomorrow, they were getting married. But that’s to think about later.

For now, Dan let himself climb up onto the edge of the pool and fall back onto the concrete, which was conveniently covered with the towel he had dropped. Phil let Dan;s lips go, letting out a gasp, and climbed over Dan, panting from the tenderness. He dropped his elbows down on the concrete, letting it dig into his skin. Dan worried that would give him scratches later. Oh well.

They kissed again, lying on the pavement with their feet in the water, breathing together. Phil’s tongue goaded Dan’s dimples, causing him to shiver like he was eighteen again. He could feel his fiancee’s hot breath like ghost butterflies on his cheek. Phil moved down and pressed kisses soothingly on Dan’s adam’s apple, each a fond gift. He traced the little crevice at the bottom of Dan’s neck with a cold swipe of his tongue. “What flowers did we order for tomorrow again?” Dan whispered.

“Sunflowers,” Phil moaned quietly.

“I hate sunflowers!”

“You are a sunflower. A beautiful. Big. Sunflower,” Phil said in between brisk neck kisses.

“Stop being so cheesy.” Dan tried to feel annoyed but honestly, he didn’t care.

“It’s supposed to be cheesy!” Phil mocked. A chuckle formed on Dan’s lips and then he was laughing like they were in Phil’s old apartment so long ago. Phil’s head collapsed into Dan’s chest as snorts erupted from his nostrils. He felt so warm, like every good memory pressed into one. Dan kindled Phil’s head in his arms and took a deep breath. “I’m glad you accepted my Twitter follow request so long ago, Phil Lester,” he wisped.

“I’m glad I was lucky enough to fall in love with you, Daniel Howell.” Dan could feel Phil’s lips shifting into a grin against his chest.

“Hey.” Dan fluffed his hair, signaling him to turn over so they could see each other’s faces. He sat up so Phil was lying on his lap like a fallen angel. “I love you.” Dan leaned down and pressed a single last peck against Phil’s wondrously crooked nose.

“I love you too.”

#my writing #please love me this is only my second real fic ever tho so sorry if i did something stupid #phan #ballet class #phan fluff

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beanjuice-duh · 7 years ago

Text

5Pointz

a/n: In memory of 5Pointz being announced for demolition in August of 2014; it was one of the saddest moments of modern-gentrification in NYC history. It was a real shame losing one of the most iconic buildings in Urban Expression only to be made into luxury buildings, I’m sad that the 7train view won’t ever be the same but I’m hella glad it existed and I couldn’t stop thinking about how a certain fictional character would have taken this news. Summary: Pete takes a blow to his mood, Carla helps a brother out. Warning: Curing and Gentrification talk also this is PLATONIC Carla and Pete. w/c: ~3k

“Sonny you’re late.” Usnavi heard the door swing open; his back was to the front since he was restocking a few shelves. A job that belonged to Sonny but again, he was late. This was around the time Sonny would say something cheerful yet mocking. Something about how he’s family or how much Usnavi loved him. Two years of this nonsense, Sonny was seventeen now and still cracked the same jokes without fail. He was a creature of habits. So every nerve in Usnavi’s body tingled when he didn’t hear any response. “Sonny?” Was he mistaken? Was it not Sonny? When he turned he saw Sonny had moved to the register. His eyes down, as he tapped the keys absently not pressing down hard enough to actually type anything.

Usnavi’s makeshift parenting senses were firing alarms. Something was wrong.

“What’s with you? Tienes un bajon de bilirrubina (you look down**saying not literal translation**)” Usnavi cocked a brow at his direction but it did nothing to lighten his absent somber face. Usnavi drew a bit closer, pretending to be scanning the shelves and not the bags under Sonny’s eyes. When he got to the front desk he found his eyes were puffed, red outlined the waterline of his eyes and worry grappled Usnavi’s chest as it did many of times. It wasn’t easy being a patron figure to a teenage boy. Con cuidado. Tread with care.

“So…um…what were you doing last night? Hanging? Chilling?” Crap what did the kids call it now?

Sonny shrugged no comment to Usnavi’s poor grasp of today’s terminology. It was actually painful to see someone who was so cheerful look so devoid. “Nothin’” Sonny pursed his lips as he angrily fiddled with the cashier.

“Ta’bien.” Usnavi started to back away, “Just wondering If maybe you got something on your mind or—“

“I’m gonna check the backroom, k?” Sonny brushed past Usnavi so quickly the wind of his afterimage smacked him in the face. It had been a good while since Sonny acted this way, this distance…Usnavi like to think they were over this kind of teenage angst and they were a lot more understanding and open.

Aye, dios. Usnavi did not want to relive Sonny’s emotional years again. It was time to call in the big guns.

After making a very swift phone call, Usnavi stayed at the front. Sonny didn’t seem to come out from the backroom which, one could say did make a good dupe for Sonny’s bedroom. The smell was about the same. “I came as soon as I could.” Nina walked through the doors, hair a mess, still dressed in her gym clothes. Usnavi eyed her up then quirked a brow. They shared a silent question and answer before Nina sighed, “Vanessa started a Zumba class and I’m beat.”

“I figured, you know she tried to get me to do one of those….sweaty, shake-your-ass classes?” Usnavi chuckled a bit letting Nina catch her breath.

“Ha.” She snorted cutely, covering her mouth with her hand. “Esa loca.” With a short scan of the store, Nina’s laugh was stifled by the lack of chipper hellos and small talk. The store did feel less welcoming without Sonny’s almost unnaturally cheerful, teenage presence. “Where is he?”

“Back room…”

“How bad?”

“You remember the day someone told him feeding rice to pigeons was actually one of the main sources of their death when he was ten?”

“Poor boy couldn’t stop crying everytime he saw a bird…I had to blindfold him everytime we passed the park or it was waterworks until we got home from school.”

“Worse.”

“No”

Usnavi thumbed to the door. Nina didn’t need to say much, she could tell but Usnavi’s tired expression he was worried about him. There wasn’t many things that would put Sonny in such a sour mood. Usually it was something large scale, like politics or news. Nina could only keep her mind on so many topics, Sonny was far better at keeping up to trend with what was going on in the world. She opened the backroom and found Sonny slumped up against one of the 50 pound rice bags, using the produce as a make shift beanbag chair while his hat covered his face and his phone was flat on his chest. “Hey, Sonny” Nina smiled closing the door behind her. “Mind if I…pop squat on the grains?”

She got no answer, not even a hello from her favorite kind in the barrio. Sonny shrugged a bit giving Nina all the ok she needed. “Thanks, my legs are like jello…” the Zumba class was Sean Paul themed, there was just a bit too much leg and hip action for Nina’s tastes. “So…you gonna tell me what’s up or is Usnavi gonna have to start breaking out the Santeria candles from Carla and Daniella’s place?”

They both wished she was joking but if Sonny didn’t start explaining soon the whole store was going to start smelling like rose water and old, waxy incense from the Virgin Mary candles they had laying around. “Pete…” Sonny croaked a bit, the name made Nina’s mouth open into an “O”. This all made sense now that Sonny said that. After all Usnavi had no idea… “He hasn’t said a word to me…he’s been real cold Nina…like…” He sat up, teeth gnawing at his full lower lip.

Teenage romance was always a lot more dramatic than it needed to be. “Its summer, maybe Pete is busy meeting his August tagging quota.” She smiled, but something in Nina knew better. Pete and Sonny weren’t normal teens. In a lot of ways, they were tiny adults. Far more mature than most their age. Seen a lot more stuff, more pain and trails. It didn’t sound right that this would bother Sonny this deeply.

“Its not like him not to talk to me…What if he’s hurt or upset?”

Nina leaned over from her bag of rice, feeling the millions of grains shift her weight making her nearly sink to the ground. With her last efforts she ran her hand down Sonny’s arm (though was actually aiming for his head) and frowned, “why don’t you tell me when you last spoke with Pete?”

Sonny stiffened a bit at the question, he readied himself and slowly coughed out with a slight pink hue forming at the apples of his cheeks. “I…was taking the train back from Pete’s place in Queens.”

“Ok….” Nina smiled, of course masking her immediate need to ask questions. Everything in her screamed for more details of why, how, and what happened but she channeled OUT her father’s interrogatory genes and went for her mother’s understanding. “And everything was fine?”

“It was cool, he walked me to the train station, usually he rides back and leaves me at the turnstile so he can just hop back on the train but…I dunno he got to the top of the station and all the sudden he just said he had to ‘bounce’ and left me there…” Sonny flipped over his phone. He scanned the messages he left Pete. The progression of emojis and playful goodnights then turned into worried ‘hello?’ and ‘you there?’s was almost too painful. He over analyzed every text and every emoji. “He hasn’t spoken to me since…” He roughly placed the cap on his head and yanked it down until the brim was bent irregularly against his nose.

“Whatever it is, I’m sure Pete has a reason.” Nina rubbed his arm a bit more before Sonny fully turned and released a few frustrated tears. Just like those blindfolded tear jerkers back when he was ten, Nina soothed her favorite barrio babysitting boy with soft head pats and promises of lechosa smoothies.

“So Sonny is having trouble with Pete? That’s terrible – “ Carla was rudely interrupted by some of the larger rats that scurried the wet sidewalks of the city during the Summer nights.

‘Hey Mami where are you headed’

‘Heeeey bella~’

“Carla donde en el diablo eres?” (Carla where the HELL are you). Daniella’s voice did not seem too pleased from the other end of Carla’s flipphone. “Don’t tell me you took that malido siete otraves!” (Damn seven again).

Carla quickly covered the phone as she hurried passed somewhat drunk catcallers, up the uneven, iron and trash ridden staircase of the subway. “Dani, I’m sorry but the other trains are delayed, only one runnin is the seven.” She smiled quickly getting on the platform.

“Aye padre santos.” Daniella groaned, “just be careful, ok? I don’t want to turn on my tv and find out that you’re on the news.”

“Oh I’ll be on the news? What for? Will I win something? Like Family Feud.”

“No you’re going to win, where the hell did Carla go, I dunno she was last seen taking the damn 7 train to the ghettos.”

Carla pursed her lips a little, “Daniiii, I don’t think there is a game like that on tv.”

“Muchacha, pay attention to the train, call me when you’re walking home, ok?” Carla could hear Daniella sigh into the phone; she could almost hear her pinch the bridge of her nose too. With soft goodbyes and Carla closed her phone and waited under the dim, orangey subway lights.

Nights in the city were beautiful in a somber way. Things were grayscaled once dusk hit. Everything was a muted color, with a few splashes of bright lights off cars and traffic signals. It was a sea of muddled browns and gray, an ugly background with electric pops of color that brought the nightlife to life. The seven train was a good place to see it all, the brick and iron that rose up from the concrete jungle. Once the seven train left Manhattan it was above ground giving Carla the view of Queens. A flat borough in comparison to the towers of Manhattan and the brick palaces of Brooklyn but it was home to Carla.

The train, as always, stopped at Queensborough Plaza. And as always, it was nearly vacant. Carla almost missed it, but the moment she looked up she noticed a figure sitting on the outer, iron support beams of the train station. “Pete?” Carla blinked then shot up, narrowly getting caught between the closing doors, she squeezed past with all her curls intact. She drew closer, wobbling on her high wedges as she made her way over to the far railing of the subway. She looked down and Carla felt her face grow pale.

What a drop.

“Pete, that you?” She knew that cueball head anywhere, his headphones stuck in his ears as he just stared out. Pensive, even in the dark his expression was still gloomy enough for Carla to take some notice. “Y-You know it’s a little dangerous to be sitting up on the beam like this? I know you’re into that hardcore stuff but I don’t think you’ll do ok if you fall.” Carla spoke shakily keeping her legs as far from the edge as possible. “Pete can you hear me?”

No answer, Pete kept looking forward; his eyes fixated on a building that was just a little too dark for Carla to make out clear enough. With a small nudge of her wedged foot, she poked Pete’s arm and caused him to jerk so hard he shifted off the far side of the beam and pulled his body up so he was standing, the back of his heels dangling dangerously off the edge. “What?” He snapped at Carla, who’s face immediately fell a bit. “…what are you doing here, Carla?” He hissed, taking the headphones out of his ears.

“I was going home when I noticed you were just sittin there like some gargoyle.”

“Yea…I’m not really feeling up to going back to my place.”

“Or the shelter?” Carla knew Pete’s home life wasn’t stable. He left and came back frequently, more often than not he stayed in city run shelters.

Pete shook his head a bit, “not feeling it.”

“Not feeling Sonny either?” He didn’t respond, he looked away, debating whether or not to stick the headphone back in his ears. “You know if something happened, if he did something…”

“Sonny didn’t do nothing.” Pete huffed, “just…something came up…its dumb.”

“Not too dumb, you’ve been leaving Sonny on read.” Carla’s point to the obvious made him cringe. “You know Sonny is real sensitive, whatever is buggin you is buggin’ him, and if it’s buggin him then its buggin Usnavi and if its buggin him its buggin Benny, then Nina, Vannesa, Daniella, then—“

“I get it, I get it!” Pete yelled a little angrier than he liked to be. “The whole fucking barrio is wondering what’s my deal but its stupid no one will get it.”

“Try me.”

Pete paused for a second, and then looked up at the various, criss crossing support beams that framed the upground train platform. “Can you climb?”

“Um…I guess, I use to climb those rocks in Central Park when I was a kid…like once.”

“If you wanna know…you gotta be able to see it….” Pete held a hand out to Carla.

“You…want me to scale the side of a train station platform? Are you…nuts?”

Pete didn’t say a word, he kept his hand out for her as Carla deliberated. With a small huff she kicked off her wedges and took Pete’s hand. The surprisingly strong grip guided her around the iron beam until she was hanging off the outside, very aware that dropping from here was most certain death. “You know if I die, Daniella will kill you.”

“You’re not gonna die, there is a ladder right here that construction uses to fix up the seven.” Pete laughed, as did Carla. It was common Queens knowledge the seven was never truly ‘fixed’ it was a dying line barely chugging along. Keeping her close, Pete helped Carla shimmy across a small strip of metal towards the ladder and began to climb up. Her thin arms shook by the time she got to the top. “Like the view?”

“Oh my…god…Pete…” Carla’s eyes lit up as they stood at the top of the train station, overlooking several buildings. The lights that danced off the windows of the apartments, streetlights were glowing but most importantly, there were large, spot lights all pointing up at a large yellow building.

There was graffiti all over the building, really all over it. It looked abandoned but still so…alive? The function of it was clear, it was living and growing canvas. The original yellow paint of the building poked out between art pieces from armature tags of gang names and signs to pieces of memorials to Biggie Smalls and Tupac. There were images and symbols, from works that were dated and began to melt into the yellow to newer, clearer pieces that stood out vibrantly. Every inch of the building was a work of art, even spots that seemed humanly impossible to reach had a piece. “I know this building; I pass it a few times…It’s a school right?” Carla spoke but couldn’t tear her eyes off it. IT was like no matter where her eyes glanced there was something newto see, another artwork lurking like the most amazing game of I-Spy yet.

“Nah it was a water factory in the 70s, but never came to be. Local taggers started getting to the place until finally in the 90s’ some guy bought it up and never did anything with it. Some of the best Graffiti artists come here. 5 Pointz…from all 5 boroughs.” Pete smiled looking over the building. “First time I saw it…I was 4…maybe 5…my mom and I walked passed this HUGE building and I saw a couple of guys taggin it. They were just writing their names but…their name was right next to some of the greats. Tracy 168, Cope 2, Dan Plasma. They took back the name “vandal” and coined aerosol artist…”

Carla watched the small smile grace Pete’s lips. Pete had no mentor, no artist teacher, he was a student of the city. Of the Urban culture, and she could almost make out in her head a small bald Pete spying on the big time artists. Watching what they did, copying them until he could hold a can. The City was his teacher and for an artist this was the biggest canvas in all of New York. “Did ya ever get to tag anything on there? Maybe we can see it from here.” Carla squinted her eyes and tried to spy a Peter Ospina original.

“No.” He declared coolly, exhaling deeply from his flared nostrils. “Never got the chance…I’ve been thinking about what I’d put there…nothing ever felt good enough so I practiced for years and…” He motioned to the otherside of the building where bulldozers were parked menacingly around the side.

“…Oh…Pete…”

“They’re tearing it down. The city is tearing down one of the oldest…most urban form of expression. This is a god damn symbol of New York and-and they’re tearing it down like its nothing!” Pete held out his arm in exasperation. “They’re building apartments no one can afford to live in instead.”

Carla felt the anger roll off Pete’s body. She couldn’t lie…she was angry too. “So that night…”

“I was walking Sonny to the train and I saw construction crew filing up I knew…I just had to see for myself and I didn’t want to believe it…” Pete pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes and squeezed with so much pressure, Carla feared his eyes would pop into his sockets. “I know its dumb…I shouldn’t be this mad but…I haven’t been able to let it go…how could they tear this all down? They’re erasing us…whether it’s the latinos and blacks in the ghetto, or the Asians in Chinatown…even the Jews by the Waterfront. Where are we going? Where will we end up? Who's going ’o remember us when the city is white and covered in glass…in buildings to high up they can’t even see out their own asses…”

Pete’s breathing got irregular as his annoyance of his nostalgic building posed more existential worries inside of him.

“It sucks this gonna be gone…” Carla began softly, her eyes looking it over once more. She was happy…Pete shared this with her. She …understood what he meant. It was bigger than just a building full of forgotten art work. It was a statement being whited out and taken off the narrative only to be written over. “But it won’t be gone-gone.” She glanced at Pete. “There won’t be another 5 pointz, but I mean think of all the greats who’ll never know this place? There are other…pointz out there. And you? Pete you’ll carry this place no matter where you go. You remembering this, keeps this alive just like the people who remember us keep us …alive.”

Pete hung his head a little; her words were chipping away at his attitude slowly but surely.

“When my parents kicked me out…I was all alone on the streets. Who was going to remember me? Poor Carla just another statistic of girls being kicked out of the house. Poor Carla will probably end up being a baby mama with no job…poor Carla…can’t go back home so who’s going to care when she’s not around.” She twiddled her thumbs a little. “There is a reason why I always say I’m from Queens…”She muttered softly. “No one would have remembered me if I didn’t find Dani’s salon and begged for a job. And now?” Her hand gently patted Pete’s shoulder. “I got people who wait for me, people who call me, people who will remember me.”

His eyes darted up at Carla who was staring right back at him with a smile. “You sharing this with me? Keeps it alive…keeps you alive…I’ll never forget this.”

They sat there for a long moment, taking in every piece possible trying to ingrain every nuance of color into their minds. Finally Pete stood up slowly and opened his phone. He typed fast, and fumbled a bit making some typos but didn’t bother to fix them. He sent the text and nodded. “Thanks Carla.”

“For what?” She slowly stood up with him, being careful not to fall off the top of the station. She went for the ladder hastily, clinging to the iron bars for dear life.

“For keeping this alive…there…um, there might be someone else I gotta show this to…”

“Oh who?” The curlycued woman waited for Pete to begin climbing down the faded, brown industrial ladder before following.

“Let’s just say I hope Sonny is good at climbing” Pete chuckled slowly scaling down the ladder behind Carla.

#ith #in the heights #fanfiction #in the heights fanfic #fanfic #usnavi de la vega #sonny de la vega #graffiti pete #carla #paint chips #sonny x pete #peter ospina #carla solano #daniella #daniella cuevas #my drabbles #warm up

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j0sgomez-blog · 5 years ago

Photo

By Michael Lanza

The heat presses in from all sides as we hike down the Bill Hall Trail off the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. The overhead sun feels as if it has expanded to a supernova threatening to engulf the planet. The rocks radiate waves of heat up at us; I wonder if they might actually reach egg-frying temperature today. Even the air seems to be rising to a boil like a vast kettle on a stove. We hike cautiously over broken stones that slide underfoot, leaning out onto our trekking poles for the two- and three-foot ledge drops on this path—which appears better suited to bighorn sheep than to bipedal primates hauling backpacks weighed down with gear, food, and a surplus of a rare element out here: water.

It’s not even 9 a.m. at around 7,000 feet in the second week of May, and the forecast for the bottom of the canyon—where we are headed—calls for highs in the 90s over the coming days. In other words, we must remind ourselves that these are the coolest hours of the day, and we should try to enjoy them because this respite from the heat—however much it may not feel like a respite—won’t last long.

Three friends—Todd Arndt, Chip Roser, and Jeff Wilhelm—and I have set out on a four-day backpacking trip on the 25-mile Thunder River-Deer Creek Loop off the Grand Canyon’s North Rim. We’ve come in mid-May hoping to get lucky with the temperatures during one of the two brief seasonal windows for taking this trip. And it turns out we did get lucky in that the trailhead access road only became free of snow and passable days ago; had we planned dates much earlier, we might have been shut out. (Autumn often has a slightly longer ideal window for backpacking this loop. See my trip-planning tips in the Take This Trip section at the bottom of this story.)

Chip Roser on the higher Tapeats Creek Trail in the Grand Canyon.

When reserving a backcountry permit months in advance, it’s a roll of the dice to guess which dates in spring will reward you with snow-free roads and lower-than-supernova temps. While the recent heat wave melted away the last snow and dried out the roads on the North Rim, it unfortunately also transformed the inner canyon into the inferno it normally becomes from late May well into September—when this environment shows its true face as a place hospitable to lizards, snakes, and scorpions, but not so much to humans.

The Grand Canyon doesn’t just get hot, it gets really hot.

But our circumstances can certainly be viewed as a water bladder half full rather than half-empty. While the higher stretches of the Thunder River-Deer Creek Loop pass through parched, waterless desert—the reason we are each hauling three liters or more of water now—the lower sections that form the roundish part of this lollipop loop we’re hiking have an unusual abundance of water in fast-moving, perennial streams.

Hi, I’m Michael Lanza, creator of The Big Outside, which has made several top outdoors blog lists. Click here to sign up for my FREE email newsletter. Join The Big Outside to get full access to all of my blog’s stories. Click here to learn how I can help you plan your next trip. Please follow my adventures on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Youtube.

Todd Arndt backpacking the Granite Narrows route in the Grand Canyon.

In fact, the two creeks and one river (in addition to the Colorado River) that we will hike along pour over some of the Big Ditch’s prettiest waterfalls, course through spectacular narrows, and nurture oases of trees and vegetation. That’s why the Thunder River-Deer Creek Loop has become a prized destination for in-the-know backpackers and river rats. Plus, even though the upper parts of the loop are dry, the vistas are the biggest of the hike, revealing the Grand Canyon’s majestic breadth and depth.

And while most of the route’s mileage offers no more shade than you can find under a prickly-pear cactus, there are pockets of shelter from the sun beneath trees along the creeks. We can hunker down like native desert fauna through the incinerating heat of the middle hours of each day, while hiking in the cooler early mornings and evenings.

We came here with a clear-eyed understanding that this hike from the North Rim down a vertical mile to the Colorado and back up again, on often-rugged trails, in heat that pushes the edges of human tolerance, will be really tough. But in compensation for that suffering, we’ll explore one of the more unique corners of the Grand Canyon.

All we have to do is survive it.

Read about how climate change is affecting the Grand Canyon and other parks in my book Before They’re Gone—A Family’s Year-Long Quest to Explore America’s Most Endangered National Parks.

Thunder River

After hours of perspiring copiously while hiking downhill, the incongruous sight of the Thunder River can make your stewed brain suspect it’s a mirage.

By early that first afternoon, we’ve dropped nearly 4,000 feet from the Monument Point-Bill Hall Trailhead. We traversed the Esplanade—a broad plateau of slickrock, massive boulders, and sand at around 5,000 feet, with long views of the canyon—and descended off that plateau on a double-black-diamond-steep portion of the Thunder River Trail, occasionally surfing the smashed dinner-plate stones that comprise it. Then we crossed the starkly barren and absolutely-devoid-of-shade Surprise Valley in skull-baking heat. Only the wind, ash-hot but mercifully strong, makes the steadily rising temperature barely tolerable.

Now, standing the edge of Surprise Valley, we’re looking down at today’s third long, knee-pounding descent through countless switchbacks over loose and rocky ground on a steep canyon slope. Hundreds of feet below us, a lushly green oasis of tall trees stands out against the landscape of cliffs and dirt in shades of ochre and brown. Immediately above this tiny but spirit-lifting soul patch of forest, a roaring, spring-fed waterfall erupts from the middle of a cliff face: the origin of the Thunder River.

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In one sense, the Thunder River isn’t much of a river: From that waterfall at its source, it only flows about a half-mile, although it drops some 1,200 feet in a continuous cascade to its confluence with Tapeats Creek. One of the shortest rivers in the country, it’s also certainly one of the few rivers that’s a tributary of a creek.

But the sheer volume of water gushing from the cliff makes it one of the most dramatic tributaries along the Colorado River’s entire 277-mile length through the Grand Canyon. Unlike most rivers that begin as trickles and streamlets coming together, it leaps from its headwaters birthplace fully formed. Naturally, it’s a great spot to escape the heat. In the shade of the trees and the mist below the waterfall, it feels about 25 degrees cooler. We lounge in the water and beside it for an hour or more. Not surprisingly, in the time we’re there, several parties of river rafters arrive, having walked a couple miles up the Tapeats Creek Trail from the Colorado River to see this waterfall.

We reach a designated campsite in the Upper Tapeats camping area on Tapeats Creek around 3 p.m., in the full-on blacksmith’s forge heat of the day—it’s probably in the mid-90s. We’ve hiked nine horizontal miles and almost a vertical mile downhill, somehow also accumulating over 800 feet of elevation gain over the course of the descent from the North Rim. Although we’ve all completed days of hiking that were three to five times that distance, the fatigue of the heat, the rugged terrain, and the equivalent of walking down well over 400 flights of stairs carrying a pack—if those stairs were intermittently built of loose stones ready to tumble with each step—has left us all feeling physically spent far beyond what we’d expect.

Plan your next great backpacking trip in Grand Canyon, Grand Teton, or other parks using my expert e-guides.

Jeff Wilhelm on the Tapeats Creek Trail, Thunder River-Deer Creek Loop, Grand Canyon.

The almost inevitable dehydration resulting from hard exertion in that kind of heat certainly contributes to the physiological toll: We’re all guzzling water in camp to refill our tanks. Chip and I will both go hours before peeing again.

Of the two campsites at Upper Tapeats, the one slightly upstream is larger, but the downstream one has shade sooner and plenty of space, and sits right on the creek; both are empty, so we grab the lower. While walking between them and the creek for a matter of minutes, I make the egregious error of leaving the top of my backpack not securely closed, and return to find Jeff saying he caught two ravens pulling food from my pack. I assess the damage: a bag of bars torn open, and another bag of the pita bread that was to be part of my lunch every day shredded, with its contents torn up in the dirt or gone. A little while later, as I’m still cursing them, we see one of the ravens fly overhead with a chunk of pita in its mouth.

As dusk dims toward night, bats emerge, making jet-fighter aerial maneuvers overhead, somehow throwing together a meal from the meager offerings of insects in the desert. The steady drone of Tapeats Creek gifts me with a night of coma-like sleep.

Tapeats Creek

In the morning, Todd emerges from his sleeping bag after spending the night out under the stars instead of in one of the tents, and tells me he didn’t sleep well; mice and other small critters kept darting over him, startling him awake. “I may have to rethink the tent thing tonight,” he says.

Today, we have to hike only two miles from Upper Tapeats to the Lower Tapeats camping area, where the creek spills into the Colorado River. Knowing there’s no shade down there, we decide to find shade to hide out in for most of the day. After the sun hits our campsite shortly after 9 a.m.—instantly jacking the temp up about 10 degrees, from pleasant to “time to go”—we start hiking, passing through sprawling, beautiful prickly-pear cacti gardens, with flowers in bloom, on the canyon bottom before the trail climbs up the canyon wall.

While stepping carefully along that narrow goat path, with a potential hundred-foot plunge below my left elbow, I glance down to see a bighorn sheep, with a full curl to its horns, leisurely sauntering through the sparse scrubland along the creek below me.

The trail descends again, and we find a sandstone ledge beside Tapeats Creek with a four-foot wall that casts a strip of all-day shade just wide enough for all of us to lie down on pads. And there we pass the next several hours reading, talking, eating, and chugging water.

I can help you plan this or any other trip you read about at my blog. Find out more here.

. . .

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tobedeletedwayward · 8 years ago

Text

Mr Mysterious || Jimin

Request:

Summary: You’ve heard your fair share of rumours about Park Jimin. And while being roommates was not an ideal circumstance, maybe it would clear the air between what you knew and did not know.

Word Count: 2,040

A/N: Returning to your scheduled updates - I’ll try and throw out a couple of To Do List scenarios today just to speed things along. And of course the first update is a combination of Roommate!AU and Mafia!AU - because what else do I actually write on this blog? dont mind the slightly rushed ending plz kthnx

“Are you sure you haven’t noticed anything suspicious about him? Because don’t be afraid to tell me if you have; what is said between the two of us is completely confidential.”

You refrained from rolling your eyes and instead opted to smile kindly at the older RA. “Nothing besides the fact he doesn’t wash his plates.” You answered, attempting to diffuse the tension with your humour.

Bora huffed and folded her arms. “Well if you do-”

“I’ll be sure to tell you if Jimin does something out of the ordinary, don’t worry.”

She pulled her lips into a tight line and sighed. “You’re a good kid [Y/N]... Enjoy your day.”

With a wave, you shut your dorm room door behind you and sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose as you looked to the figure passed out on the couch.

“You owe me, Park Jimin...” You grumbled, more so to yourself than to him, before you stalked away to your respective bedroom to get ready for your lecture.

You weren’t too sure with what your roommate did with his spare time. You admit you were concerned, a bit too invested if you were completely honest, and that alone somehow compelled you to keep lying to your dorm’s RA.

Bora meant well, you knew that, but for some reason you didn’t want to rat Jimin out.

If you did, he would never forgive you.

And despite the lying and the secrecy, you were perfectly fine with the dynamic you had going with him.

Your friends? Not so much.

“Oh my God, if you ask me one more question about him I am going to punch you.” You growled intimidatingly, slamming down the highlighter you were holding onto your workbook. The tip hit the paper, leaving a dot in between a long string of words. [Y/F/N] raised her hands up in defence, eyes wide at the sudden anger in your voice. And yet, the surprise quickly faded into amusement.

“Come on [Y/N],” she began, “I can’t help but be curious. You’re like the only one Jimin is nice to on campus and it’s because you’re roommates.”

“That doesn’t mean I know every little in and out of his life.” You retorted. “Besides, rumours are rumours. Even if I did know something of worth, the damage has already been done.”

“So you admit you know some things!”

“You. Are. Insufferable!” You hissed, unamused by the ongoing assault of questions.

“Damn, I never thought I’d see the day when [Y/N] was actively defending the campus criminal.”

“Okay, that’s it!” You snapped, quickly shoving your stationery into your backpack followed by your notebooks. “You can fail the assignment.”

Sweeping the textbooks shut and into your arms, you left her, not caring about her calls to get you to sit back down.

You loved [Y/F/N] – you loved all of your friends – you really did, but some days you couldn’t stand their incessant nagging and inquiry about your roommate.

Apparently it was hard for them to believe you really didn’t know what was going on.

But as you exited the library, it dawned upon you that perhaps storming away wasn’t the best option. Sure it showed how annoyed you had finally become, but surely there would have been another way to let them know...

No, they took it too far.

Jimin wasn’t a criminal; he was just misunderstood – a little too aloof for most people’s likings.

You sighed, adjusting the straps of your bag and the grip on the textbooks before moving towards before moving towards the secondary library on campus.

You didn’t get very far, however, when you heard a familiar voice call out to you.

“[Y/N]! Wait up!”

You found yourself slowing down just enough for the person to catch up to you, watching as the familiar figure took long strides to reach you.

“Yes Jimin?” You asked as your roommate assumed the empty space by your space, his shoulders rising and falling quickly as he tried to catch his breath. Despite this, he smiled warmly at you, immediately matching your pace as you began to speed up.

“Are you doing anything right now?” He asked, pushing his hands into his hoodie pockets as you thought of your response.

“I mean I’m going to the library to work on an assignment-”

“I mean anything important right now.” He clarified, his signature smirk appearing across his face. You rolled your eyes at him.

“That assignment is important-”

“Then anything not boring.”

“What is it, Jimin?”

“Have you eaten yet?” Jimin asked, ignoring your own question as he normally did. When you didn’t answer he laughed. “Good because lunch is on me today, Bell View Bar on the other side of campus is empty this time of day.” He announced, immediately guiding you in the opposite direction of the library. You groaned.

“Jimin, please, I have to work on this report – it’s due in a few weeks and if I don’t start now I will honestly never start.” You begged, trying to veer away from your roommate only to have him step into your range once more.

“You can start it tonight, but right now I’m buying your lunch.” He repeated, unyielding. “Besides, I owe you for this morning.”

You stopped walking. “This morning?”

“Bora greeted me this morning, I assume that you talked to her and put her mind at ease.”

Jimin craned his head down with head to look into your eyes, smiling when you shrugged. “I guess since you owe me...”

His eyes turned into crescents as he laughed. Jimin wrapped a hand around your upper arm and began walking with you, almost animatedly.

As you let yourself be pulled along, you forgot all about the drama from the library and the rumours that circled over his head.

Because how could someone so sweet be as bad as people thought he was?

A few days later, you and [Y/F/N] reconciled through your usual peace offering of food. While she provided the food, you slowly began to help them out once more with the assignment you had been working on by yourself.

The topic of Jimin did not grace your ears.

Though you did notice [Y/F/N] had opened and closed her mouth a few times. Fish mouth was always a sign of hesitance, amongst other things.

But thankfully, no other arguments happened that day, and you were able to attend your last tutorial of the day unbothered.

Your tutorial was one of the last scheduled across the campus on any given day. The weekly hour you had to attend ran from 5 to 6, leaving you to be one of the only people remaining on campus as dusk hit.

But unlike most night you emerged from the campus, the dark sky was overcast, and the faint silhouette of the moon appeared through the clouds accumulating overhead.

You knew those clouds. You knew them very well.

“Please don’t rain...” You mumbled to yourself as you began trek back to your dorm room. Every breath was punctuated with a silent prayer of hope that it wouldn’t start bucketing down as you tried to get home.

You were lucky for the first quarter of your path, only to notice the faint drops of cold water that littered themselves against your scalp and seeped into the shoulders of your top.

In an instant, you ran for refuge, finding solace in an alcove of the nearby Business Building not too far from the path.

You groaned, pressing yourself against the doorway for the alcove and rearranging your belongings. You shoved the remaining textbooks into your bag, attempting to minimise the collateral damage of you run.

There was no way in hell those books were suffering. Too much money was spent on them.

As you swung your backpack back over your shoulders, you trained your eyes on the familiar path and the unfamiliar figure that was heading towards you, their head covered by what you could tell was an umbrella.

“[Y/N].” Came Jimin’s voice, and you exhaled in relief at the thought of the person being someone you actually knew.

“What’re you doing here Jimin?” You asked as he came closer to your, his features twisting in concern in the low light of the alcove.

“You left your umbrella on the couch this morning, and I figured it would start raining by the time you left.” He explained, holding the umbrella so that you would be able to fit underneath it as well. A smile crept on to your face.

“And what if it didn’t?”

Jimin rolled his eyes. “Then I can’t let someone walk home alone all by themselves, now can I?” His sentiment made you smile a little wider, and you willingly stepped under the umbrella with him.

“Well thank you, you didn’t have to.” You replied, beginning your walk back to the dorm.

“Don’t mention it, it’s the least I could do.”

You hadn’t seen him that morning, his usual form not sprawled across the couch like usual. He hadn’t been in his room either. Your roommate also didn’t have a great memory either, so the fact that he had come to get you from the other side of campus was a sight to behold in itself.

It remained silent between the two of you as you walked back together, Jimin’s presence comforting you as you passed the occasional group of people who would stop and stare at the sight of you both.

He didn’t seem fazed by the curious yet judgmental stares you could just make out in the moonlight.

And if he was unbothered, then you found no reason to be either.

By the time you had made it back to your dorm, the rain had picked up and you and Jimin had to huddle together under the small circumference of the umbrella, shoulders rubbing against each other as the rain hammered down on to you. Despite this, you were completely dry.

Jimin’s right side was drenched to the bone. But, like before, he said nothing.

Stepping into your shared dorm, Jimin discarded just outside of the doorway and followed you in, shedding his soaked jacket and draping it across the couch. “Well that was fun, wasn’t it?”

You laughed, shaking your head as you dropped your bag down with a slight huff. “Like I said, you didn’t have to come get me; I could have made it back here on my own.”

“And like I said, what type of person would I be if I let you walk back alone. It’s the least I could do.” He countered, a lopsided smirk appearing on his face.

“All I do is tell Bora everything is fine with you.” You argued, not catching the way his smile faltered at your almost cynical words.

“Exactly, [Y/N], you treat me like me.”

You glanced up at him, taking in the way his tense shoulders contrasted the smile he still wore on his face.

“I like that.”

Your neck heated up in embarrassment as you shrugged. “Well, you’re my roommate... I know well than what I hear around campus.” You answered, moving your bag to the coffee table, unpacking the textbooks you haphazardly packed away.

The silence was thick between you, and you didn’t dare look up at him. “Are you free tomorrow?”

The sudden question forced your head up, almost giving yourself whiplash. “Huh?”

“Like tomorrow tomorrow, are you free for like dinner or something?”

You felt the corner of your mouth twitch. “Is it another thank you?”

Jimin shook his head. “No, I’m a bit tired of saying thank you... It’s an explanation, and maybe a bit of a date.”

A huff of air escaped your lungs in surprise at his sudden change in demeanour.

“Dinner sounds good... Just don’t be late in picking me up.” You chimed before turning around and disappearing into your room for the remainder of the night.

Jimin stood by the couch, looking towards were you once stood with a contented expression on his face.

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