#walked away from the movie with a furrowed brow unsure how i felt about it
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baby-prophet · 2 years ago
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very fun watching the menu after making myself microwaved white castle cheeseburgers. the even poorer sadder mans cheeseburger... really immersive. tiny smally cheap cheeseburgers, a combination of both worlds...
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ashlynlovestlou · 8 months ago
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abby x anxious! virgin! reader
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synopsis: abby teaches her an anxiety-ridden virgin girlfriend how to have sex.
cw: NSFW , abby x reader , smut , abby talks you through it , thigh riding , sub! reader , soft dom! abby , afab! reader , dry humping , use of pet names
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abby's been your girlfriend for a few months now, but you've been putting off having sex with her. solely because of your stupid nerves.
the thought of being naked in front of someone, then hearing your noises and seeing your face and touching your most intimate spots that nobody has reached before. it made you panic just thinking about it.
but abby knew of your fears. she was patient, and she cared about you more than anything on god's green earth.
so when your twice-weekly date came around on a friday night, something felt off. you'd been horny before, and usually you knew how to take care of it, but not quite like this. your legs were tingling and there was an ache where aches shouldn't be.
of course abby, being the observant girlfriend she is, noticed your squirming halfway through the movie the two of you were watching.
"what's wrong, baby?" she asks, looking down at you with a furrowed brow.
"huh? nothing." you respond quickly, crossing your legs and leaning against her shoulder.
abby knew better than to believe you, "you okay? you seem squirmy."
"i'm okay." you respond, a little too quickly. her suspicions only rose because of your soft and nervous tone, "just feel a little weird."
"weird how? you got a stomach ache?"
"no."
"then what–" she stops what she's saying, a shit-eating grin growing on her face, "oh."
you don't respond, biting your bottom lip and unsure what to do. you could sneak away to the bathroom to try to get off on your own. but you know abby has been waiting so patiently for this moment.
"youre horny, yeah?"
your heart sinks in your chest. it took you a moment to realize how she figured it out so quickly. she saw your squirms and the way your thighs flexed every once in a while, trying to create some friction for yourself.
she spreads her thighs apart a bit, creating a perfect manspread. she taps her lap, "come sit. let me take care of it for you."
"abby, i dunno.."
"baby." she says, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, "i promise i can make you feel so much better than your pillow can. c'mon, sweet pea."
you hesitate, nibbling on your bottom lip. your heart was in your throat, and you were fidgeting with your earlobe. one of your anxious habits.
she tugs your hand away from your ear, kissing your knuckles. she gently tugs you forward into her, "i won't hurt you, sweet girl. c'mon, honey." she guides you by the hips to straddle her lap. she rubs her thumbs up and down the soft plush of your thighs, "let me show you, okay?"
you nod, swallowing the lump in your throat. she takes her shirt off first so that you don't feel embarrassed to do the same. once she's down to her black sports bra she slowly takes yours off too, giving you time to stop her if you wanted.
but you don't, so she keeps going.
once the two of you are both in your underwear, her warm and bulky hands settle on your hips, "you okay?"
you nod, unsure where to put your hands. she notices this and laughs softly, "i'll walk you through it, okay?"
"okay..."
"tell me what you do to your little pillow when you feel like this, baby."
"i.. um.." you struggle to get the words out, your cheeks red from embarrassment, "i put it between my legs."
"hmm.." she hums, "then what?"
"i like.. clamp it there."
she plays with your hair, her entire hand embracing the side of your head, "and it makes you feel good? riding your little pillow?" you nod sheepishly, resting your head on her shoulder, "show me."
"what?"
"i want you to make yourself feel good. i know you wanna." she says, kissing your hairline.
"abby, i dont know how–"
she gives your hips a little squeeze, starting to guide you to grind on her lap. the cloth of her boxers rubs against the sheer fabric of your lacy panties, the feeling alone making you gush. you whimper as you feel yourself getting wetter. you're tempted to get off her lap so she doesn't feel the dampness coming from your cunt. she notices you starting to hover, so she pulls you back down. "don't be embarrassed. i want to see you feel good." she guides your hips to move a bit faster, and you moan in response, "can i touch you?"
you look at her, confused because she's already touching you.
she glances down at your crotch rubbing against her lap, then she looks back up at you, "down there, sweet girl. please, honey. wanna feel how wet you are."
you nod, your nerves starting to dissipate.
she snakes a hand down your stomach, her fingertips sliding into your panties. when the pads of her fingers meet your folds she groans, "oh, baby... you ever been this wet before?"
you shake your head, rubbing yourself against her digits.
"there you go, grind down just like that, mhm."
her words of encouragement make you speed up a little bit. she beams at you, so proud that her girl is finally comfortable enough to let her feel you in such an intimate place.
"gonna go inside, okay?" she says before slipping two of her fingers inside your sopping cunt. you moan at the intrusion, your movements switching from back and forth to up and down.
abby chuckles, kissing your cheek. she's so happy that she can finally see her baby in this light. on her lap, a moaning mess, "you're so pretty, mama."
you smile and open your eyes to look at abby. she pecks your forehead, rubbing tight circles around your swollen bud. you clean around her and she pulls you closer so your chest is flush against hers. she knew you were close before you did, guiding your hips to bounce on her fingers faster.
when you finally come undone you mutter tens of 'thank you's' into her ear. you'd made yourself feel good many times, but you'd never felt quite like this.
"thank you, abby." you whisper to her.
she nods in response, "no need to thank me. next time you feel like that, you come to me, m'kay?"
you hum in agreement, closing your eyes and starting to drift to sleep.
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bethsvrse · 1 year ago
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Hello!! I appreciate that you don’t write for people with existing relationships so could you do something for maybe Tobi has a huge crush on one of Faiths female friends that he met when out with Ethan and fair or something?? I really enjoy your writing ML 🫶🏽
PAIRING Tobi Brown x fem!reader
WARNINGS nothing <3
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Tobi initially planned to spend a quiet evening at home, enjoying some movies, perhaps ordering a pizza, and then going to bed. However, due to the 10-year anniversary celebration of the Sidemen, he felt compelled to join his friends at a pub to have a wild night.
All of his friends were present, commemorating his and his brothers’ accomplishments. Tobi stood on the sidelines, observing his friends dancing in the midst of the crowd, capturing the moments on camera. Tobi was quite happy that he doesn’t drink, knowing for certain that his friends would regret their actions in the morning when these videos are shared on social media.
Suddenly, Tobi heard someone calling his name and turned around to see Faith, Ethan's girlfriend, bringing another girl towards him. He furrowed his brow in confusion, as he had never met this girl before.
Faith stood in front of Tobi, releasing the hand of the beautiful girl. "Tobi, this is my friend Y/N. Y/N, meet Tobi," Faith introduced, with the girl offering a shy greeting.
"I'm about to hit the dance floor, and to prevent Y/N from feeling awkward standing alone, I thought she could stay with you," Faith pointed dramatically in Tobi's direction. "That way, you both won't look too out of place."
"Faith..." Y/N hesitated, not wanting to make Tobi uncomfortable just because her best friend was trying to set her up with one of her boyfriend's friends.
"Shh!" Faith placed a finger on Y/N's lips, clearly already intoxicated. "I want to join the dance floor, and I don't want to leave my best friend alone."
With that, Faith walked away and headed straight for the dance floor, grooving to one of Kanye West's songs that had just started playing.
Y/N pursed her lips, leaning against the same wall that Tobi was leaning on, feeling even more awkward now. She desperately searched her mind for conversation starters, all while Tobi couldn't help but admire the stunning woman standing beside him.
His eyes roamed up and down, attempting to take in her entire appearance.
Tobi cleared his throat, attempting to break the silence. "So, uh, Faith didn't give you much of a choice, did she?"
Y/N chuckled nervously. "Not exactly. I hope this isn't too awkward for you. I didn't really sign up for a blind date tonight."
Tobi giggled, feeling the tension ease a bit. "No worries. I was just planning on a quiet night, but fate had other ideas, it seems."
Y/N nodded, glancing at the dance floor. "Yeah, I wasn't expecting to be here either. I'm not much of a party person, Faith kinda dragged me along."
Tobi chuckled, "Me neither, actually. I prefer the comfort of my movie nights."
As they exchanged small talk, Tobi discovered that Y/N loves photography and her traveling and Y/N learnt more about Tobi's YouTube career and she found out about his love for working out. The awkwardness began to fade, replaced by genuine interest.
Suddenly, Faith returned, still dancing energetically. "How's it going, you two?"
Tobi and Y/N exchanged glances, both unsure of what to say.
Faith laughed, "Relax, I'm just checking in. Enjoying your forced company?"
Tobi grinned, "Actually, not so bad."
Y/N nodded in agreement, "Yeah, it's been surprisingly pleasant."
Faith, satisfied with their responses, danced away again, leaving Tobi and Y/N alone once more.
As the night progressed, they found themselves laughing and sharing stories. However, when the clock struck midnight, Y/N checked her phone.
"I should probably head home. Early day tomorrow," she said, a hint of disappointment in her eyes.
Tobi nodded, "Yeah, I get that. It was nice meeting you, though."
Y/N smiled, "You too, Tobi."
As Y/N left, Tobi couldn't help but smile, realizing that sometimes unexpected nights turned out to be the most memorable.
Tobi's eyes followed Y/N as she walked through the crowd. The lively atmosphere of the celebration buzzed around him, but his thoughts were focused on the intriguing girl who had unexpectedly become his companion for the night. He hesitated for a moment, debating whether he should catch up with her, but then got distracted by Simon, one of his friends, who dragged him into a group photo.
As the flash of the camera illuminated the room, Tobi's mind raced, trying to recall if he had exchanged contact information with Y/N. The realization hit him just as he turned back to look for her, but she was already gone.
"Hey, do you guys see Y/N leave? The girl Faith brought" Tobi asked, scanning the crowd.
His friends exchanged puzzled glances, and Vikk replied, "I saw her leave a few minutes ago.”
Tobi sighed, frustration evident on his face. "Great, I forgot to get her number."
Ethan, overhearing the conversation, chimed in, "Smooth, Tobi. Don't worry though, Faith has her number, ask her for it."
Tobi thanked Ethan before going to find Faith on the dance floor. He tapped her on the shoulder, and amidst the music, he shouted, "Hey, Faith! Do you have Y/N's number?"
Faith paused in her dance moves, trying to hear Tobi over the music. "Y/N's number? Why do you need that?”
"We got along well, and I forgot to get her number before she left," Tobi explained.
Faith grinned mischievously, "Well, well, looks like someone's got a crush. Don't worry, I've got you covered. Let me find it on my phone."
Faith fumbled with her phone, scrolling through her contacts as the bass thumped in the background. Tobi tapped his foot impatiently, regretting not securing Y/N's number earlier.
After what felt like an eternity, Faith triumphantly declared, "Got it!" She showed Tobi Y/N's contact info on her phone.
"Thanks, Faith. You're a lifesaver," Tobi said, relieved, adding Y/N to his contacts.
Faith winked, "Just make sure to treat her right. I'm her best friend, after all."
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heavenbloom · 5 days ago
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🇵🇸 BEFORE YOU READ: DONATE • BOYCOTT TLOU • GAZAN MUTUAL AID MASTERLIST
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❆ — 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫
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song: the night — lovewave
summary: a letter addressed to abby anderson, twenty years after the two of you parted.
warnings: 18+ mdni, literally straight up angst, letter format, from reader’s pov, set in the future, not proofread.
a/n: this is entirely inspired by moonlit winter (2019). this’ll probably be boring af but i love love that goes beyond time and the physical and i love mundane yet emotional movies <3
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The icy air nipped at your fingertips, the chill tracing unforgiving trails from them to the bottom of your soles.
The snowfall was thick this time of year and it painted the small town in hushed tones. The only thing heard in the white noonday was the laboured crunch of your boots and the heave of your breath against your thick woollen scarf.
The cold barely registered, though, as you dipped your hand into your coat pocket. The thin, glossy edge of an envelope crinkled at the contact.
How could something so small and hidden conceal a whole lifetime within it? It felt like it was burning a hole where it sat, yearning to reunite with your being, to settle there and remain a secret.
The sound of your footfalls ceased, and you let out a slow exhale. A plume of air swelled in front of your vision, softening the edges of everything.
The post office box was rimmed with ice. It stood as lonesome as you did, on this drowsy street, in a town you knew so well now, yet not nearly enough as you should have. It was hard to be a part of something when you always had one eye gazing back at the past.
This would hopefully change that. A parting gift. A farewell to somebody you had said goodbye to long ago.
You reached for the letter.
⋆⁺₊❅.
Dear Abby,
It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?
I don’t know if I will send this letter, but I can imagine the look on your face if you ever do receive it. Bushy, furrowed brows and downcast eyes… you never looked up when you were puzzled about something. It was if you had to retreat into yourself in order to make sense of the world around you.
The woman that I see receiving this is youthful and vibrant, forever frozen in the sands of my memory. Lines have begun to etch my features, and with each year that passes by, they deepen. It must be the same for you. It has to be, right? But the image of you, aged, eludes me.
I often imagine what kind of person you are now. Did you ever marry? Have children? Do you live in a house with a garden bursting with the smells of overripe berries and fresh herbs, like the one we fantasised about owning all those years ago? These are the reveries that have teeth, that sink and gnaw at something unspoken within me.
I did know you, once, but I’m unsure I do now. Does the soul change over time, or just the meat and bone that surrounds it?
I’ve experienced more of my life with your absence as opposed to your presence. I moved to a quiet corner of the world and made a life for myself. The summers here are mild and the winters are the never-ending and silent kind that we never saw back home. It’s somewhere that you would despise.
Maybe that’s why you plague my mind so often. This town is a place where I know you’d never find yourself in. Back then, I was running away from you and in a way, I still am. Like visiting an attic that one knows is haunted, I think of you.
I dream of you, too. Mundane, meaningless. Nothing happens in these dreams, but you’re there, shining. A wisp of blonde hair, the starlight of a freckled shoulder… the same.
I guess this sameness is what compelled me to write this. I’ve been walking through my life with my head craned back towards the past, so much so that I couldn’t see where I was headed. Now I’ve stopped, in the middle of it, in this purgatory. It can’t go on, Abby. At some point, I have to turn to face the future. I should have long ago.
I’m made up of regrets, but what good will they do now? Instead of listing the should-haves, I’ll tell you the truth;
This is not the first letter I’ve written that’s dedicated to you, but it will be the first I’ve ever had the courage to send. Let it be the last.
I’m sorry if what we shared has also left you with scars and an endlessness of seeking. I’m sorry that I was cowardly, and that I still am.
Thank you for the sliver of sweetness that you gave to me. Thank you for loving me like you meant it. I hope you know that I meant it, too. Everything I did, every word and every touch, was honest.
But I have lived with its death. Now I must let it rot.
Goodbye, Abby. Be braver than I am.
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dizzyjelly · 1 year ago
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Pool Party pt. 2
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Taglist: @gold-dustwomxn
Part 1 here!
Word Count: 1.4k
Summary: the morning after Ellie spends the night st your place, she's in a rush to leave. You wonder what her strange behavior is all about. She invites you to a movie later that week and you show up with a date, which has Ellie making a heartfelt confession to you in the movie theater bathroom.
Cw: jealous/possesive Ellie
The next morning you woke up to an empty bed. You let out a sigh as you stretched your arms above your head then lazily made your way out of your room. You'd found Ellie, but she was basically out the door.
"El? Why're you leaving?" You asked groggily, rubbing at your tired eyes.
"Oh, I didn't know you'd be awake. Look I just gotta go." Her excuse was rushed.
"Ok, um I'll see you later?" You asked as you walked over to her and took her hands in her own.
"Sure. Bye." She didn't even look you in the eye as she quickly pulled her hands away and left.
You furrowed your brows, utterly confused as just last might she was kissing and cuddling you to sleep. Trying your best to ignore her odd behavior, you made yourself some breakfast. If Ellies weird ass exit wasn't enough, she also stopped answering your texts. You didn't think anything of it at first, maybe she was just busy.
But when next week came around and there was still nothing but radio silence, you were beginning to get fed up. So you had a friend over to talk to her about it.
"I just don't get it. I mean we have this amazing night, and now she's being like... cold? I don't know" You sighed as you explained the situation to Sarah.
"Look, Y/n, it sounds like maybe she got cold feet. She's probably just nervous or something." Your friend tried to reassure you.
"I guess but why wouldn't she just talk to me about it then? We're friends first." You spoke confused.
"Have you tried calling her?" Sarah asked.
You shook your head no, and deciding to switch topics. The situation was stressing you out enough. Eventually Sarah would leave and you sat in your living room alone. Hesitantly, you picked up your phone and began ringing Ellie. It was pretty late so it'd make perfect sense if she didn't pick up, but she did. Almost immediately.
"Hi." She answered.
"Hey" your words were caught in your throat for a second, "What's going on with you? You haven't been answering any of my texts." You asked.
"I've... been busy. Sorry." She lied, she was avoiding you.
"Ok, it's fine. Are we gonna talk about it?" You asked.
"About what?" She asked in return, playing dumb.
"Um how we kissed?" You responded.
She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration.
"Listen, we were both drunk. I don't know what I was thinking." She answered.
"What are you saying?" You asked, unsure of where this was going.
"I'm saying let's just forget about it, ok?" You felt like your heart was ripped out of your chest.
And she felt so guilty, but she wasn't turning back now.
"Oh, ok." You answered.
"You wanna see a movie tomorrow or something? Catch up?" She asked.
"Sure just text me the details." And then you hung up without another word.
You couldn't help the tears that fell down your face, brining your hand to wipe them. You sniiffled, now you were really fucking confused. There was no denying that you two had chemistry.
Suddenly, you had an idea. You'd be going to the movies with her tomorrow, what if you brought a date? Maybe make Ellie jealous, get her to confess her true feelings. It was sort of evil, but it might just work.
You opened up tinder and started looking for eligible girls. You matched with some blonde named Abby. You had a little small talk, being slightly flirtatious. Then you asked her to the movies. You told her your friend would be there too so it was fine if she said no, but she said yes! You smiled and texted her the details you'd gotten from Ellie then got ready for bed. You really hoped this plan would work.
It came time for you to head out to the movies. You didn't wanna dress too casual, since you were technically going to be on a date. Then again, it was just the movies. You opted for your best pair of jeans and a low cut sweater, you paried it with light makeup and your usual sneakers.
Abby was meeting you at the theater, so you headed out and drove over there. You walked to the doors and she caught you as you were heading inside. You smiled as you saw her, greeting her with a hug.
"Hey, Abby right?" You asked, just to double check.
"Yeah, ready to go in? Is your friend already here?" She asked.
"Probably in the concession line." You answered.
The two of you got your tickets then made your way to the concessions, which Ellie was indeed already there. She smiled as she saw you, but tilted her head in confusion at your guest. She motioned for you to come over.
"You want popcorn or anything?" You asked Abby and she gave you her answer.
You headed over to where Ellie stood in line, a smile present on your face.
"Who's the chick?" She asked with crossed arms.
"Oh, that's Abby. My date." You answered so casually it hurt.
"Date? Wow, ok." Ellie scoffed, rolling her eyes.
"What? It's not like you and I were going out so I figured I could bring somebody." You shrugged.
"Whatever. Let's just get our fucking food. What's your date want?" She asked bitterly.
You told her and ordered for yourself, but of course she insisted on paying. Even if she was pissed at you, she'd still treat you. You brought Abby her stuff and the three of you made your way into the theater. You sat between the two of them, making sure to interlock hands with Abby.
You glanced over at Ellie to see if she was looking. You smirked as her eyes were fixated on your hand in hers. She looked sad almost. You brought your attention to the screen as previews started.
The movie was hitting its halfway mark and you'd gotten more comfortable with Abby, your head resting promptly on her shoulder while you held onto her bicep lightly. Ellie had troubled focusing on the movie, she was more concerned with you and your date. You leaned over to whisper in Abbys ear.
"Im gonna go to the bathroom." She gave you a simple nod and you stood from your seat.
"Where you going?" Ellie asked.
"Bathroom." You answered harshly, exiting the theater and making your way to the restroom.
You did your business and were just about to wash your hands when you saw Ellie walking towards you in the mirror. You made eye contact with her, then looked away and started to wash your hands.
"What." You spoke, it was meant to be a question but sounded more like a statement because of your tone.
"Why'd you bring some girl with you tonight?" She asked.
"Why do you care? You've made it very clear that we're just friends." You responded.
"Jesus christ." She muttered.
You went to make your way past her and out of the bathroom, but she stopped you. Her hand gripped your wrist, and she had a glint in her eyes.
"I'm.. sorry. Look I just- I don't know how to do this." She sighed.
"And what are we doing?" You asked with an eye roll.
"Please, don't do this right now. What do you want from me? You want me to tell you I love you? Because I do! I'm so in love with you that I am terrified. I'm so scared of ruining what we have just because I love you so much." She sniffled, tears in her eyes.
"Ellie..." You muttered, bringing your hands to cup either side of her face.
You took a deep breath before leaning in, placing a chaste kiss against her lips. Her hands came to your waist as yours made their way to her hair. After a minute you pulled away, smiling at the girl as you wiped her remaining tears away.
"I love you too. So, so much." You chuckled.
"Well I'm stoked, but what are you gonna tell your date?" She asked with a nervous smile.
"Nothing" you shrugged, "Let's just leave." Ellie laughed and then the two of you were getting her car.
She drove to your place and you two went inside, hand in hand. You were over the moon at taking the new step in your relationship with Ellie. You just hoped she wouldn't shut you out again, but things were looking good so far.
A/n: I kind of hate this😭 idk I just feel like it's sloppy, so please lmk if yall like it or not
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dracwife · 2 years ago
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a match into water
ship: about this dream & you → mickey/tim word count: 765 summary: tim asks mickey about his scars. tw for implications of (past) selfharm, set early on in the relationship.
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Timothy McGee did not fancy himself a particularly nosy person. Perhaps a tad oblivious, at times, but never so much as to overstep boundaries. He certainly was no Tony DiNozzo, overly intrusive and terribly persistent, nor was he any Leroy Gibbs, with the cold hard stare that would coax any secret out tumbling terrified into the open. It was with no malicious intent did he on occasion peruse Tony's desk drawers in search of uncovering what he so curiously and frequently tucked away in there, nor with any ill will did he capture a glance at Abby's texts after she so enthusiastically expressed in anticipation of her evening plans; Rather, it was his curiosity that so often led him down these paths. And never once did he intend to step on toes, or interrupt conversations, or allow it to steal his focus. No, his curiosity is what made him such a good investigator. And what good of an investigator would he be if he did not ask questions?
He was not afraid to ask them, nor was he naive, simply curious. And maybe that curiosity led him astray down paths he should not have so eagerly crossed, but for the better or the worse, he did traverse them.
And one such path, for once he almost regretted, when with anxious interest did he approach Mickey, who stood back turned to him in the kitchen of his own apartment. 
He watched him for a moment, from just into the den, from the doorway to the bedroom where he had barely a view of the other man. He was wearing Tim's shirt, something that did not go unnoticed, which left most of him regrettably bare; He caught a glimpse again of Mickey as he bustled about, gathering snacks and bowls. 
Tim'd be lying if he said he didn't feel a particular sort of fondness for the way the other found himself so at home here. He walked slowly towards the kitchen, and rounding the corner he finally saw the other man in full -- he let himself take in every patch of exposed skin, hair still damp from the shower, the way his head fell to the side as he hit 'Start' on the microwave. 
Tim wondered if it was out of line to ask. But that curiosity irked him more than the anxiety pressed.
The other turns, "Did you set up the movie?"
Tim nods, smiles. Pauses. 
"Can I ask you something?"
Mickey shrugs. "Anything."
He's unsure how to ask. Not outright. His head tilts to the side, he opens his mouth. Closes it. His brows furrow.
"Have you ever…Been hurt on the job? Like, seriously hurt?"
Mickey looks at him, confused. 
"Rolled my ankle once, while training. Hurt like hell. Uhm…" He thinks back. "Broke my wrist tackling a suspect. That sucked."
"That's all?"
Mickey chuckles under his breath, a nervous laugh, afraid to answer incorrectly maybe. 
"Uh, yeah. That's all. Why do you ask?"
Tim's eyes fall to the counter. "Just…Curious."
"You always are."
"I --" he stops himself. Whatever brevity and bravery he'd been so used to having was suddenly gone. He never really felt the need to keep them around when it was just them, alone. But maybe now would've been a good time to.
He finally resigns whatever mask he so desperately tried to fit to his asking. "I noticed the scars. I'm sorry for asking."
"Oh."
"They're not -- I really shouldn't have asked, I didn't mean to bring up anything, any -- Memories, or…I don't mean that they're…They're not distracting, or, or --"
"Ugly?"
"No! God, no. No, that's not what I meant. I'm sorry."
"It's alright. I don't mind."
Tim waited, but so did Mickey. They stood in silence briefly. Solemnly.
"They're old. They used to be much worse."
"...The uh…The wounds must have been pretty deep."
"Yeah. Yeah, they were."
Tim's fingers find their way underneath Mickey's chin, and push gently up, tearing his gaze from his arms. 
"I didn't mean to be intrusive. You don't have to talk about it."
"I know," Mickey's answer is quick. Too quick, maybe. He softens his voice, "I know."
Tim uses his leverage to press a gentle kiss to Mickey's lips. His other hand finds its way to Mimi's own, tense and anxiously fidgeting fingers intertwine with stable. Tim's thumb runs softly over the rough skin of the other's wrist in reassurance.
"Maybe one day?" he asks. It's understanding, not urging in the way Mickey's used to people asking. Something sweeter. Quieter. More delicate. 
"Maybe one day." 
He answers in kind. A promise. 
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jcbbby · 2 years ago
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For the Witches
Chapter 8- Start the Fire
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Jamie’s dark preacher character is the center of this story, based on some of the themes and lyrics from the “I Am” music video, as well as a bit of Dante’s Inferno and general witchy-ness.
All previous chapters here. Chapter 8 below the cut!
The whole congregation stood in a pack by the road, horrified and silent, watching as the fire department worked to put out the blaze. Harper stood by Jamie, his hands switching from resting on the top of his head in helplessness, and wringing them out in front of him in frustration.
The fire department was able to put out the blaze, leaving a charred shell of the church in a smoldering haze. The group thanked the fireman for their efforts as they left. A heavy silence befell them as the first responders drove away, leaving them by themselves in the dark, listless and unsure of what to do or say. They all looked to Jamie, hoping for his direction or any word to put them at ease. Jamie took in and then exhaled a deep breath, stepping forward towards the remains of the church. He looked the structure up and down, his hand resting over his mouth as he furrowed his brow.
"Jamie..." Harper said sheepishly from the pack behind him, stepping forward slowly, coming to stand next to him.
Jamie turned to look to Harper, she could see the anger and the disappointment in his eyes.
"I want to try something..." She said, turning herself to the church remains as she began to walk towards it.
"Harper, it's not safe, it's still too hot." Jamie called to her as she continued to walk.
She stepped to the edge of the church's façade, pausing as she looked up to the smoke still billowing out the stop as it smoldered. Taking in a deep breath, she closed her eyes, placing a hand on to the dampened, burnt wood.
The moment she placed her hand flush against the wall, it felt as though she was like she was sucked into a jet turbine. Her body shook as could see the past warping through her mind, like an old fashioned movie; splice after splice. She saw Aaron, driving up in his car. He quickly jumped out of the car and ran up to the church, throwing two molotov cocktails through the window before running back to the car and speeding off. His eyes were full black, as if he was possessed by some inhuman entity. And just like that, everything went black in Harper's mind; just like the end of a movie.
Opening her eyes, she was met with the congregation staring down back at her. Jamie's body supported her, shaking her gently, as she felt the ground beneath her legs. Her hand stung sharply with a pain that radiated up her forearm.
"Hey...hey. You with us?" Jamie asked, helping her sit up on her own. "You fainted and spooked me for a second there."
"Jamie it was Aaron. I saw it. Aaron did this." Harper spat in a frenzy. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." She ran her hands over her face.
"Aaron?" Clara asked from the group. "Wasn't that your boyfriend back home?"
Jamie turned to her. "It's a long story, Clara..." He stood up with a grunt. "You know what, everyone, why don't you all head back to the cabins. We'll be alright here. We'll all discuss moving forward in the morning. We've all been through a lot tonight. Go on." He gave a meager smile, nodding in the direction of the woods.
The congregation looked between each other before silently turning and meandering towards the pathway through the woods. Harper felt their eyes on her as they each shuffled by. Jamie held out a hand to assist her in standing up as they disappeared into the trees.
"I saw him, Jamie. I had like...a vision. He was like, possessed or something...I don't even know." She ran a hand through her hair.
"How did you know you could do that?" He pointed toward the wall.
"I-I didn't. I just...I guess it just felt right to do." She shrugged.
"Incredible..." He smiled.
"Jamie, we can't stay here. Aaron...he's...something was off about him. I mean, yes he's a complete dick, but this is a lot, even for him.... Something is wrong..." Harper stammered.
Jamie's smile faded. "What do you mean?" He asked as though he already knew what she meant.
"It just felt...bad. His eyes were black, Jamie. It felt like it wasn't even him, but it was...I can't explain it." Harper shook her head.
Jamie took in a sharp breath before placing a tender hand on her shoulder. "Alright, alright...well, we can discuss everything in the morning with the rest. I think it's probably good if we all just settle down for the evening, hm?"
Harper nodded. She suddenly was acutely aware of the pain in her hand, bringing it up to take a look. "God my hand really hurts... I think I have burns..." She winced.
Jamie looked over her palm as she held it out. "We'll get you fixed up. Come." Jamie offered a meek smile as he slid his arm around her shoulders, guiding her towards the entrance to the woods. As they walked, Jamie removed his arm and Harper slowed, falling into a deep thought.
"Jamie, wait..." She said quietly. He stopped and turned around to her. "Give me your hand."
Jamie cocked his head and blinked. "What?"
She stepped up to him. "Let me see your hand. I need to know, Jamie. I need to know you."
Jamie inhaled, looking down to his feet. "Harper, I think you ought to take it easy right now-"
"I don't care. Give me your hand, Jamie." She repeated sharply.
He slowly raised his hand and held it out to Harper. She stared at it for a moment before slowly moving to lay her palm on to his. Closing her eyes and wrapping her fingers around his large hand, she felt herself once again sucked into a vision.
Images of colonial era homes and attire. She sees herself in a field, with others, one of them Jamie. It's Salem 1692. They're witches in a coven. Another image of her at the gallows as Jamie looks on. More splices zip through her mind. Jamie then seems to carry out a ritual to conjure the devil, making a deal with the entity to be more powerful and evade the witch hunt.
Flashing forward, it appears to be a more modern era, perhaps early 1900s. Jamie looks the same age as he builds a home before he moves into it with a young woman. This cuts to him standing outside of a burning home, with the screams of a woman echoing from inside. The next splice shows him standing atop a hill, holding a small cross. He douses himself in gasoline and pulls out a lighter, setting himself on fire. He screams and writhes in pain, though he does not appear burned.
The next images that flash before her are Jamie building the cabins that the congregation resides in, in the woods behind the church. Suddenly, the image of the garden appears again. A lush pasture of natural life and light as Jamie and her walk through it.
Her eyes flew open to see Jamie in front of her, hand still outstretched and in her grasp before her knees buckled below her and everything faded to black once again.
---
mannnnn, who IS SHE? a NEW CHAPTER FINALLY????? :) I'm starting up a new tag list for this, so if you would like to be tagged in future chapters, let me know! <3
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l0vergirlwrites · 2 years ago
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slight paranoia ; tom holland
warnings: anxious thoughts concerning creeps
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“hey, do you want something to drink?”
nodding your head with a grateful smile, you kissed tom’s cheek as you peeled off your heels, sighing loudly as the pain in your feet began to subside.
“lemonade please!” you replied smiling as he eagerly headed to the kitchen of his home after he hung up both of your coats on his coat rack.
after having a successful date night in the public eye, luckily without almost any fan interactions, you both felt the weight of the night's anxiety & all you wanted was to relax at home. but you couldn’t help but look out the window at the front of the house to make sure no one had followed tom’s car.
coming back to the front with a glass of lemonade swishing around a few ice cubes, tom quirked a brow at you as you peeled back his thick blinds, inspecting the front gate.
“y/n/n?” tom called to you, making you turn your head at him quick, embarrassment clear on your features.
“oh sorry i—“
“did you see something—“
“no it’s okay” you assured him, fixing the blinds back before coming to his side, graciously taking the glass of lemonade from his cold hand. “it was just a tree branch…” you lied, which tom caught onto pretty quick.
“you sure?” he asked again, his hand rubbing your hip securely.
nodding your head, you pecked his cheek again & took his hand in your free one, walking along the smooth cold floor to his the living room. tom took one last glance at the front window before tagging along, a few questions running along in his mind.
***
after finishing off date night with a short movie, it was almost time for you to go back to your place & you were dreading it. with your paranoia at a higher level than normal & anxious thoughts surrounding being followed home or anything worse—you’d prefer to stay the night at toms. but the thing is: you haven't stayed overnight at his house yet.
“love?” tom called softly to you, his right index finger tapping your arm to alert you.
blinking a few times, you pulled your head away from his chest & peered at him with a tired look, not realizing you had zoned out & was staring at the empty glass of lemonade for a while.
tucking some of your hair behind your ear, tom smiled at you when he felt your body move closer to his on the couch, the material of your dress ridding up your thighs as you did so.
“you zoned out a little, you alright?” he questioned, seeing you slightly—ever so slightly—tense under his touch at his words, only causing him to furrow a brow at you once more.
shaking it off, you replied cooly, “y-yeah i’m alright, just a little tired”.
moving his hand to your cheek, you leaned into his touch & saw him look at you with an unsure glance.
“somethings on your mind” tom stated, but you didn’t want to talk about it.
“no…”
“i know you’re lying—“
“no i’m not—“
“y/n…” he said warningly, not wanting to dance around the issue. “just tell me what’s on your mind”.
in reality it was a simple question, with a simple answer. but that didn’t mean you wanted him to know how anxious you’ve been since you’ve gotten to his place regarding fans & the fact that you were paranoid you’d be followed home by a stranger if they saw him greet you goodbye outside without his security guard—
“y/n/n, hey. it’s okay” he cooed softly, making you realize your eyes had glossed over & your hands began to shake.
you were on "overthinking overload".
pulling you closer to his lap, tom opened his arms wider for you to adjust to your head dropping to his shoulder. cradling the back of your head with one hand, the other resting on your thigh, tom didn’t really know what else to do.
“it’s stupid, so fucking stupid” you grumbled out against his shoulder, hands in fists to release the stimulation in your body. “i shouldn’t even be crying over it i just—“
“it’s not stupid if you’re getting worked over it, y/n” tom said gently to you, his tone much softer than yours. he knew you needed comfort.
“what’s on your—“
“i’m too paranoid to go home incase someone followed us back from the restaurant” you rushed, sighing once you got it out.
taking in your words & thinking back to how you were acting earlier, it all made sense to tom.
“& i want to uh, spend the night… with you, tom” you said slower, cursing yourself for sounding so childish with your paranoid antics.
“that’s all?”
lifting your head up, you looked to tom who was completely relaxed, seeing out of the corner of your eye that he was playing with a strand of your hair between his fingers.
“yeah… that’s all…” you said hesitantly, ready to just leave out of the awkwardness of it all, but tom squeezed your thigh to bring you back to the moment.
“you can always stay with me, whenever. i don’t mind” he smiled lightly, the smile easily calming your nerves a little.
releasing your hands from their fists & instead fumbling with the material of his soft cotton shirt, you mumbled, “yeah?”
with his hand now on your cheek, he nodded his head. “yeah”.
“i get paranoid too you know?” tom related. “this job, as you know, almost requires you to be aware of your surrounding twenty-four-seven in case of anything” he joked, seeing you crack a smile.
“but you’re—we’re safe. no need to worry about anyone outside. jack has it covered” he referred to his main security guard, feeling you grow less tense under his touch now.
nodding your head once again, trying to calm the thoughts in your mind, you were about to apologize for your behaviour but tom immediately stopped you.
“don’t apologize for how you feel, okay? it’s valid, yeah?” he said, making you agree with him.
tom pressed a long kiss to your forehead, your eyes fluttering shut at the loving contact.
"you can always talk to me about these things, it's what i'm here for. don't bottle it up next time, babe, it's not good for you" he explained referring to your anxious state before kissing your forehead again.
"i will, promise. thank you" you thanked tom, gracious that he was so kind to you about this.
“let’s go to bed, love”
tom soon pulled you up from the couch. grasping your hand in his, he led you towards the stairs, feet softly padding along the smooth flooring until you reached his bedroom, immediately being engulfed in his arms for a long, loving & comforting hug.
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peakyswift · 3 years ago
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salvatore
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luca x reader
SUMMARY your trip to italy with luca might last longer than planned
REQUEST “Could you do something about my other love Luca Changretta (a dark one maybe)“
WARNINGS manipulation
WORD COUNT 1,180
A/N i’ve never written something like this before and i’m kinda nervous to post it… 🙈 i also had so many ideas for this fic but i decided to keep it short, pls let me know if it’s something you want more of though
‘’How are you finding Italy mio amore?’’
Lucas hands crept around your waist, possessive fingers digging into your skin. You admired the aquamarine water beneath you as the warm breeze swept through your hair. This truly was heaven on earth.
‘’Wonderful, really Luca. Thank you for taking me’’ you said.
The smell of his expensive perfume mixed with the sea breeze filled your nostrils. It felt amazing to be away from the busy streets of New York, even if just for a few weeks. As much as you loved the city you grew up in, it could be hectic and stressful at times.
You sighed with content and closed your eyes.
Luca allowed his lips to find your neck, pressing delicate kisses to your skin. The sensation caused goosebumps to appear on your arms and he hummed in satisfaction over the effect his touch had on you.
‘’Now go get ready darling, dinner is waiting for us’’ he pecked your neck one last time before letting go of you entirely. You did as told, changing into the new dress Luca had gifted you. He had it handmade just for you, from one of finest Italian designers.
It was no secret he loved to spoil you. With shoes, dresses, jewelry etc. Nothing could top the way your eyes lit up whenever you would unwrap the silk ribbon on his gifts.
After finishing the last details of your makeup, you stepped out to show Luca. He was waiting on the balcony, toothpick in his mouth and sleeves of his button down rolled up to his elbows. Your knees felt weak at the sight. He had his head buried in some papers, brows furrowed in concertation.
‘’How do I look?’’
Your question caught his attention, a smirk forming on his lips as he admired you. ‘’Like a fucking movie star darling’’. You blushed at his compliment and dropped your head, suddenly feeling flustered.
Your relationship with Luca was rather new, only four months to be exact. And to think he was already showering you gifts and taking you on vacations. It was all a bit overwhelming, but you had to admit it was also quite exciting.
Never in a million years would you have thought you’d be dating a gangster, and how lucky you were you got the sweetest of them all. Of course your family and friends had warned you about him. Telling you he was ‘’dangerous’’ and ‘’good for nothing’’. And of course you had your doubts.
But all of it was overshadowed by his charming ways. He had a way of making you feel special, like you were the only woman in the whole world.
‘Don’t be shy Y/N darling’’ he purred. You nodded, unsure what to say. It was hard not to be shy when a handsome man was eying you up.
Luca stood from his chair, putting on his jacket and replacing the toothpick in his mouth with a fresh one. He stretched his hand out to you, inviting you to take it. Hand in hand the two of you made your way to dinner.
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The two weeks you were supposed to be away had turned into three, which you couldn’t complain about. The weather was nice, the food was lovely and best of all, you got to spend more time with Luca.
But as the third week rolled into the fourth you were beginning to miss home. You missed your family and friends. You were even starting to miss your job. You worked as a florist. It wasn’t much of a job, and it could get incredibly boring, but it earned you enough to make a living and it made the time pass.
Your job was also how you met Luca. It had been another dull day when the infamous Luca Changretta walked in. At first you didn’t know who he was, thinking he was just like any other man buying flowers for his wife, or in this case for his mum. But then he introduced himself and a rush went through you, of course you had heard of him and his family, gangsters they were. He had shamelessly flirted with you during his entire visit in the little flower shop.
You remember turning Luca’s offer about taking you to Italy down at first. You told him there was no way your boss would allow you to take two weeks off. Luca promised you he would take care of it. And sure enough, when you clocked in at work the next morning your boss told you, you were free to take of as much time as you wanted.
You had no idea how Luca did it, but something in you told you it couldn’t have been pretty. Still, you chose to ignore it. Whatever Luca had done, he had done it for you and that was the most important part. Or at least that was what he told you when you asked him how he managed convinced your boss.
‘’Luca…’’ you fiddled anxiously with your fingers as you approached him. Luca simply hummed in response, not bothering to look up from whatever he was working on. Taking a deep breath you prepared yourself to ask the question you hadn’t yet dared to ask, not wanting to seem ungrateful.
‘’When are we going home?’’ you shallowed the lump that had formed in your throat.
‘’Why do you wanna go home? Do you not like it here?’’. Luca still didn’t look up at you, but his honey laced voice was already causing guilt to grow in your stomach.
‘’N-no that’s not it. I love it here and I’m so thankful Luca’’ you hurried towards him, sitting on the chair in front of his desk. ‘’I just miss my friends and family, that’s all’’ you continued.
That made him look up, green eyes meeting yours. ‘’Am I not enough for you?’’ he let the toothpick move from one side of his mouth to the other. This side of him was new to you. Had his eyes turned darker?
‘’Of course you are, I was just- ‘’
‘’Then you should be fine with us staying for a bit longer’’ he cut you off. You bit your lip, deciding not to push it any further. Perhaps he was right, maybe you were just being dramatic and ungrateful. ‘’I’m sorry Luca, it wasn’t my intention to hurt you… and I’m sorry for being ungrateful’’ you stammered.
His face softened, lips curling into a small smile. It even looked as if the darkness in his eyes disappeared.
‘It’s alright darling. I just want the best for you, okay? Whatever I do, it’s because I care about you, remember that’’. The way the sentence rolled off his tongue sent chills down your spine.
He got up from seat, taking slow steps until he was standing right behind your chair. His firm grip on your shoulders made you gasp. He leaned down, so close you could smell the liquor on his breath.
‘’I love you my darling Y/N, so much. I can’t risk losing you’’
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rebeccccccaaa · 4 years ago
Text
𝔻𝕒𝕚𝕤𝕚𝕖𝕤
___________________
ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙᴀʀɴᴇs x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: Bucky gets hit with that god awful (but really hot) sex pollen. (this was requested)
ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: Dub-Con/Non-Con as per usual with sex pollens fics (although i try to write them as consensual as possible :T) Smut obvi (18+ minors dni), slight daddy kink, age gap?, public male masturbation; it's brief but still
TW: very brief mention of possible suicide
ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ's ɴᴏᴛᴇs: hot
____________________
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“Where are those daisies we collected from the last mission?” Tony asked you, eyes staying glued to the hologram in front of him.
“I left them on the quinjet. Fury said to wait for transportation until Shield confirms safety. It’s literally in a glass case, but whatever,” you rolled your eyes, making the older man laugh.
“Just protocol, kid,” he snickered.
Meanwhile Bucky sat with Steve eating lunch, chatting it up like old men do.
“So what did you bring back from the last mission? I saw a bunch of agents in hazmat suits,” Steve said sipping his coffee.
“Uh, well Thor said we should bring some plants back for research, but it seems like a bunch of normal lookin’ daisies,” Bucky shrugged.
“Y/n loves daisies,” Steve smirked.
“Ok?”
“And you love Y/n,” Steve teased.
“No I don’t-”
“Hey boys!” you skipped past the kitchen.
“Y/n,” Bucky said standing up with a big goofy smile on his face.
“Where ‘ya going?” Steve asked with a chuckle.
“Quinjet. Fury gave us the go to start doing tests on that plant you brought the other day,” you smiled lightly jogging to the runway.
“Why don't you ask her on a date, Buck,” Steve nudged.
“Come on, she’s way too smart to go out with a dumbass like me,” Bucky joked.
“Seriously.”
“I don’t know. It’s been years since I’ve talked to another woman. It doesn’t come naturally anymore. Wha- what’s even the first I’d say to her?”
“I don’t know, man. I’m on the same boat with you. Just… Tell how nice she looks today when she comes back.”
“Really?” Bucky asked skeptically.
“Yeah, be nice to her.”
“I am nice to her.”
“I mean be extra nice. Flatter her,” Steve told him, “Go wait in the lab until she comes back and tell her she looks pretty today.”
“Isn’t Tony in the lab?” Bucky asked.
“Ha ha, yeah,” Steve teased, patting his back before leaving to his room.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Tony mumbled seeing Bucky waltzing in the room awkwardly.
“Nothing,” he mumbled back.
Tony dropped his hands and stared at Bucky with an unimpressed look on his face. Everyone but you knew about Barnes’ little boy crush on you but he’s never had the balls to say anything. You were close to Tony and seeing as though he doesn’t particularly like Bucky, he didn’t want you hanging around him. But you were an adult so of course you hung out with whoever you wanted.
He was sure you liked him back too which never ceased to make him roll his eyes.
You walked back from the quinjet with the glass container of daisies. You weren’t exactly a plant expert but it was apparent that these daisies were mutated seeing as though the pollen swirled around the flowers gracefully. It was beautiful but then again they might be extremely dangerous considering it was a Hydra experiment.
“Hey Y/n, off to the lab again?” Steve smiled.
“Yup, gotta check these babies out according to Thor; said they might be dangerous if they’re what he thinks they are,” you said, still walking.
“And what’s that?” you just shrugged at his question unsure of the answer yourself.
“Well, Bucky’s waiting for you in the lab,” he slipped in the conversation.
“Really? Why’s-” Crash!
“Oh no,” Tony mumbled, seeing the collision in action.
“Shit, I’m so sorry,” you stuttered.
“No, no. I should be sorry. Here let me help,” bucky knelt to the ground grabbed the fallen daisies with his bare hands.
“No! Don’t touch-” Tony shouted practically sprinting towards you two.
The golden pollen swirled in a misty manner engulfing Bucky completely. You stared with furrowed brows confused at the sight before you and what was going on. Bucky’s skin began to burn and his senses were being overloaded. All he could smell in that moment was you; the same scent that he got a whiff of this morning when he hugged you, the perfume and the shampoo that filled his senses when you walked passed him.
Tony pushed you out of the lab roughly throwing you in Steve’s arms who was just as confused.
“FRIDAY,” Tony called out.
“Yes, Mr. Stark,” the familiar voice answered.
“Lock all the doors to the lab and maybe turn on the a/c,” he commanded.
“Of course, Mr. Stark.”
All the glass walls and doors instantly shut and locked, locking Bucky inside. Bucky’s eyes found your and slammed his body against the glass desperately trying to reach you. You too ran up to the glass wall trying to understand what had happened to him. Everything was happening so suddenly.
Your forehead was pressed against the glass as was Bucky’s; both of you staring into each other’s eyes momentarily. In that moment, you could see his eyes turn golden for a quick second before his pupils dilated ridiculously before your eyes.
“Is he going to be ok?” you turned away.
“Y/n! Please!” Bucky’s muffled screams shocked you.
“Uh… where’s Thor?” Tony panicked.
“What the hell is happening?” Nat asked; Sam, Wanda, and Vision trailing behind closely.
“Nat,” you ran to her.
“What happened to Bucky?” Same asked.
“He- I ran- I ran into him by a-accident and the box dropped. There was mist everywhere and Bucky's eyes. His eyes,” you stammered breathlessly.
“Please! I need her!” Bucky hit the glass in an attempt to break it.
“Oh my goodness,” Wanda gasped at the sweaty Bucky hitting and practically going feral.
“Oh god, is he gonna be ok?” you teared up. This is your fault, dammit.
“I can asure he will experience no physical harm,” Thor’s voice made all of you turn around.
“Just physically? What the hell does that mean?” Sam argued.
“Well, uh… I’ve never actually seen it’s effects in person. Especially not on a Midguardian…” his voice trailed off and his eyes grew big.
Nat snapped her head, eyes widening as well. Bucky with absolutely no shame held his hard dick in his hands pumping it with his eyes trained on you. You went to turn around seeing nat’s expression but she covered you eyes before you could actually see the lewd behavior Bucky indulged in.
“What’s happening?” you asked holding onto Nat as she led across the room.
“Nothing, they’re gonna take care of Buck. Don’t worry about it,” she said quickly.
You sat in your room bouncing your leg as the movie on your TV played. Every now and then Bucky would moan and cry particularly loud making all of you wince and cringe. But your mind felt foggy simply thinking about Bucky and his safety; especially that moment when his eyes went from confusion to you don’t even know what. Hunger? Desire? Lust?
Whatever it was, it made your tummy flutter.
“Steve, any news on Bucky?” Steve stood at the doorway with a worrisome face that did nothing to ease your already panicked nerves.
“Well, as far as Thor knows the plant that was mutated with the daisies was pollen extracted from a breeding plant common among other galaxies; for species that can’t… reproduce like we do. The pollen enters the system and targets the nociceptors causing excruciating pain without physical harm. If untreated the victim can reach a traumatic state and truthfully, they will do anything to stop the pain; even kill themselves.”
“What the hell does any of that mean?” Sam grunted.
“It means the tin man is painfully horny,” Tony interrupted.
“Are you fucking serious?” Sam said in disbelief.
“What’s the cure?” Nat said.
“Oxytocin, of course,” Tony said.
“The cuddle hormone,” you whispered.
“Yup. Banner and I are already working on a serum containing artificial oxytocin in hopes to minimize the pain or even better cure him completely. We-”
“I’m afraid it’s going to be a bit more complicated than that,” Thor interrupted Tony.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, see the pollen, it’s a little tricky. The oxyputin-thingy you mentioned…”
“Oxytocin,” Tony clarified but Thor didn’t care too much.
“I don't think artificial love is going to cure the boy. If you want results, he needs to be the one he desires most. That’s where you’ll get your oxy-pudding.”
“Oxy- You know what, we can figure this out without anyone needing to have sex,” Tony groaned.
“Tony, maybe we shouldn’t-” you started.
“Nope, we can do this. We’re science bros,” Tony stormed away like a child.
“Isn’t your lab being ‘occupied’,” Nat called out.
“Shit!”
-
Hours went by and the oxytocin experiments were clearly a fail. The first dose did nothing. The second also nothing. The third relieved him for only ten seconds before he went back to his painful state. Since then, they haven’t been able to help or relieve Bucky’s circumstance any longer.
You thought about Thor’s words, about how the one he desires most could cure him. A ping of jealousy struck your heart but you knew you to find the woman Bucky loved and just pray that she'd help him. You made your way back to the lad area where Tony and Bruce had their new makeshift set up while the lab was locked down.
“Tony, this is ridiculous. It’s been going on for too long. You heard what Thor said about what happens when it gets too much,” you begged.
“And what do you suggest we do?” Tony said angrily.
“We need to find the woman that Bucky loves so she can help him,” you argued back.
“It's not just some woman, Y/n! He wants you.”
“What?”
“All the bastard’s been doing for the past eight hours has been masterbating while moaning your name. I’m not putting you in that situation,” Tony yelled.
You couldn’t speak. Was he telling you the truth? Did Bucky want you like that? The same way you secretly wanted him? It’s not like you haven't thought about what being with Bucky would be like before. He was perfect; so handsome and charming.
You ran back to your room where the rest of the guys still were practically out of breath; your heart hammering out of your chest and your stomach fluttering like it does whenever you think about Bucky.
“I need to get to Bucky,” you panted out.
“What?”
“Please you guys need to help me. Tony said that Bucky wants me; I mean can you believe. A guy like him wanting me? I’m just… nobody. He’s way too out of my league and-”
“Y/n, focus,” Nat said.
“Right. I- I want to help him. I know I can.”
“Y/n, we don’t know how dangerous this is. I mean, it came from Hydra, this could be weaponized and you could get hurt,” Steve argued.
“Bucky could never hurt me,” you whispered; Nat looked at you softly, understanding the situation better realizing you were probably Bucky’s only chance of a cure.
“You’re not actually considering letting her do this are you?” Steve scolded Nat.
"Are Tony and Bruce making any progress?" she sighed.
"They haven't been to even relieve his pain for longer than ten seconds," you whispered.
"Steve, this is Bucky we're talking about. Hasn't he endure enough torture in his life?" Nat said softly.
That seemed to convince him. Seeing Bucky in so much pain like he had been only years ago was unfair, especially when they technically already knew a cure. Waiting this out was pure evil at this point.
"How do you suppose we go about this?" he asked.
You devised a plan in order to let Bucky from the lab; he'd find his way to you on his own. Wanda stood from afar using her powers to tamper with the equipment. Tony frustratingly would have to run across the compound to the conference rooms to grab new devices in order to continue with his notes and tests.
On his way back, Steve and his convincing and charming ways would stall Tony's return asking him all sorts of questions about Bucky's state. Meanwhile, Thor made up some excuse to lure Banner away just for a minute so Nat and Sam could override the lockdown through Friday and free Bucky.
All the while you sat in your room waiting anxiously for Bucky to barge through the door and have his way with you.
A few minutes went by and no sign of a ruckus you'd assume would accompany the escape plan. You fiddled with the hem of your skirt biting your lip in anticipation. Still no sign after a couple more minutes. Wanting to make sure you still looked alright for Buck, although he'd probably not even acknowledge your appearance, you stood up to walk to your bathroom.
Just as you stood up, Bucky in all his muscle and broad glory slammed the door behind him staring at you with nothing but desperate hunger. Your stomach flipped when you saw him lock the door, pushing a small chair you had just next to it in front of the door under the handle.
He stalked towards practically panting and you took in his appearance. His hair was quite disheveled and sweat lined his forehead and slightly down his neck. Despite that, he still looked so handsome and sexy.
"маленький, all dressed up for me to ruin," he growled crawling up the bed as you crawled back.
"Buck, are you ok? I want to help you," you whispered.
"I'm more than ok now, beautiful," he whispered leaning into you, his nose brushing against yours, chuckling when you visibly trembled.
"Is my красивый маленький ангел gonna let me use her?" he whispered, huskily.
"Bucky, I don't understand what you're saying."
"так драгоценно," he whispered against your lips before pressing himself completely against you.
His hands, contrast between hot and cold, crept under your shirt brushing lightly over your delicate skin. You had somewhat expected Bucky to have no control and use you relentlessly, of which you wouldn't have minded, but this soft ginger foreplay was really making your panties wet.
Bucky slowly lifted the shirt from your body before tossing it to the side and removing his own. His hands cupped your breasts squeezing the soft flesh quite roughly making you sigh and moan at the feeling.
His lips attached themselves to your neck biting and sucking harshly littering your skin with dark purple marks. He nibbled on your ear as he grinding his pelvis against yours, his large erection poking your center making you even more aroused.
"I couldn't stop thinking about you. It smelled just like you," he whispered.
"T- The daisies?"
"I've been craving you, aching for you. Thinking about how good you're gonna feel wrapped around my cock," he panted speeding up his grinding thrusts.
"Buck," you breathed out.
Bucky shuddered over you before stilling for a moment. He couldn't help it, your scent, your warm skin pressed against his, he couldn't hold back anymore coming straight away in his pants.
You brushed his hair softly soothing him from his high. You thought it was over, that he felt better and was finally cured but almost instantly you felt Bucky harden under you, poking between your thighs and you gasped knowing very well it was going to be a long night.
Bucky stood on his knees and pulled your bottoms down your legs nearly ripping the material. He too rid his bottoms throwing them god knows where before climbing back on top of you. You stared adorably up at him and Bucky almost came again. He smiled softly at you before kissing you once more.
Suddenly, loud bangs on your door startled you but not Bucky.
"What the hell are you doing!" Tony screamed.
"Tony, you gotta stop! This is the only way! It's not fair to him to let him keep suffering. He's done enough of that, ok?" Nat shouted.
"She's gonna get hurt," Tony sighed.
"No she won't. This was her idea."
Tony looked back teary eyed. He really cared for you as his own and putting you in a situation like this wasn't fair to you either. He really tried to help but this was just too complicated and too advanced to solve in only a few hours. They were right, Bucky needed you as much as he didn't like that idea too much.
"Fine."
Bucky lined his cock with your entrance wrapping your legs around his waist. Slowly he pushed in pulling moans from you both. You've only had a couple lovers previous to Bucky but neither of them ever filled you so perfectly. Bucky stretched you out like none other and admittedly he wanted to use his fingers on you first but he'd been away for too long it was too painful to go another second without being inside you.
"So tight and warm, little one. Feel so fucking good wrapped around me."
"Buck," you moaned.
You wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him impossibly closer to you as you kissed along his neck and jaw. Bucky moaned breathlessly in your ear and you couldn't help the clenching around him from arousal.
"Fuck, keep doing that, little one," he groaned.
Toy squeezed your thighs together and clenched around him again making him groan louder this time. His thrusts became sporadic and you moved against like a ragdoll unable to keep up with his relentless pace.
Your legs began to shake and your back arched into his chest reaching you first high of the night, gushing all over his cock. You realize he hasn't come and gently push him off you before flipping over to let him take you again from behind.
As expected, Bucky pushed into once again deeper this time and you shuddered under his hand that rested atop your arched back. Bucky smacked and kneaded your ass thrusting in and out. The lewd squelching sound of his thrust mixed with the sound of skin slapping against each other echoed in the room.
"Shit, little one. Taking my cock so fucking well," he reached forward and bunch up your hair pulling your head back harshly.
“Shit,” you mumbled.
Your knuckles turned white as you gripped the sheets as hard as you could. You were approaching your orgasm quickly and you weren't going to be able to hold back any longer. Your pussy clenched around Bucky's cock making him throw his head back in pleasure.
"Please, Bucky," you whimpered.
"You wanna come, darling. You wanna cream all over daddy's cock?"
"Yes! Fuck!" your arms shook before giving out completely; your head buried in the sheets as Bucky continued that same wild and rough pace.
"Please let me come, daddy!"
Your body felt on fire. No one has ever made you feel this good before, it was almost too much, too overwhelming. Tears brimmed your eyes from trying to desperately hold back. You wanted to come with Bucky but seeing as his pace had yet to slow down you were beginning to think he wasn't even close.
"Let go, doll."
Your body squirmed beneath him as you released all over his dick. You came with a near shout, your body violently trembling from the intensity of your high. Bucky slowed his pace for your comfort, gently riding your orgasm slowly down despite his still aching erection.
He languidly rolled you over to your back, his hands softly rubbing your sides up to your breasts. You breathed heavily, eyes feeling droopy, all you could feel in that moment was his cum dripping from you onto the sheets.
Bucky, still knelt on the bed and still chasing his release, lifted your legs over his thighs gripping your hip with one hand and his cock with the other. You squeezed your thighs together when you felt his tip poking at your entrance once again, soft whimpers emitting from you shakily.
"Such a good girl. Gonna let me take you again? Gonna let me keep using you?" he moaned.
"Use me, Buck. I'm all yours," you breathed out.
Bucky pushed himself past your folds once again, your cum easily letting him slide in. Both his hands made home on your hips gripping hardly surely to leave marks for you to remember this very moment. You looked at Bucky as his thrusts slowly began to pick up, bringing your own hands to your breasts to play with your nipples. You twisted the perked buds, moaning softly at the feeling as well as Bucky filling you perfectly once again.
"Filling me up so good, baby," you moaned, arching your back slightly allowing Bucky to hit a newer and deeper angle inside you.
"Pussy was fucking made for me," he growled.
His hand moved from its home on your hip right over your lower belly where he could feel his cock so deep poking his own hand through your tummy.
"Feel how fucking deep I am?"
You moved your hand and he pressed yours in the same spot under his and you moaned loudly, shuddering under him.
His pace quickened and for a moment he thought he was going to finally reach his high, that release he'd been thinking about for hours today, but when he felt you clench again, squeezing his cock tightly and he didn't cum, he knew it was gonna be chase that he didn't know you'd be up for. You gushed all over his dick, back arching and your legs pressing tight around his torso, coming with a loud scream of his name.
Bucky fell forward with tears in his eyes. His skin still felt hot and sticky. His sense felt dialed up to an eleven. It was all so overwhelming and all he wanted was to cum in you and hold you closer whispering how he really loved you. He pressed faint kisses to you equally sticky and warm skin and when you felt warm liquid dripping onto your skin to lift Bucky's head to find him crying.
"What's wrong, baby?"
“I can’t cum. I just wanna cum,” he whined.
“Hey, hey. It’s ok. I can go as many times as you need me to. I want to help you, let me do that.”
“Can- Can you uh… use your mouth please? I want to feel those pretty lips wrapped around my cock so bad,” he moaned.
“Of course, baby. I’d do anything for you,” you smirked before pushing him and crawling over him holding his dick in your hand.
-
Hours and literally hours had passed until Bucky was finally tired out only having cum three times compared to the fifteen-plus times you had. Your bed laid on the ground; the wooden stands snapped about two hours ago. Most of your sheets were torn to shreds and marks littered your body from your neck down to your hips and your knees from, well you know.
Your body shook as you laid in a fetal position. You burned between your thighs; the soreness overwhelming but pleasant at the same time. Sweat made what was left of the sheets stick to your body until Bucky pulled them from you to clean you. He used a warm towel all over your body with tears in his eyes whispering how sorry he was about everything.
“I swear I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I’m so sorry. I understand if you hate me now; if you never want to see me again. Just know that I’m so sorry about your bed, the blankets, if I hurt you, everything,” he sniffled, eyes and nose red and puffy.
“Bucky,” you whispered, your voice raspy and croaky from your moaning and screaming all night.
“Y/n,” he whispered back. You pulled him by the back of his neck into a soft yet passionate kiss.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he breathed out when you pulled away. You cupped his face with shaky hands but a smile on your face.
“Do you mean it?”
“Of course. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I’ve dreamt about holding you far too many times, more than I’d like to admit. I should’ve told you sooner but like everyone else, I was scared you didn’t like me back; at least not this way,” he rubbed your legs indicating the intimate love he had for you.
“Buck, it’s virtually impossible for anyone not to fall in love with you. Unless they’re Tony,” you giggled as did he.
“Can you say it?” he asked softly.
“That I love you?” you smiled brushing your nose against his; Bucky practically purred as he nodded.
“I love you, James,” you whispered.
“Fuck, I love you too.”
He laid you down softly again on the broken bed pressing light kisses all over your collarbones and shoulders. You brushed his hair with your fingers as he clung onto you ready to sleep.
“Thank you again, doll. For helping me today,” he said after a couple minutes of silence.
“Of course, my love. Besides I’m the one who ran into you with those damn daisies.”
“Thank god for them then. And for your clumsiness,” Bucky chuckled.
“Meanie,” you snorted, making Bucky laugh even more.
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Buck.”
ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ: (For all my work)
@mathletemadison​
@buckybarnes101​
@l-sofiamia-l
@pluto-grl
@partr1dge
@stefans-wife
@cordeliaswhore
@fleurlovesbucky
@wandanatasha0720
Bucky Barnes Taglist:
@stolenxkissess
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radiant-reid · 3 years ago
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Touched starved
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It was no secret this case had been extra hard on Spencer. Even Y/n, the newest member of the team, knew some bad things happened when he was kidnapped by Tobias Hankel. Most of the details were covered up though.
Spencer didn’t talk about it much. Only a few words when he felt strong enough. With having only been at the BAU for two years Y/n knew the least of what happened. 
Then again, she was a profiler. She could tell this case was having a more-than-usual bad effect on Spencer. 
It was because of the parallels, she figured. This unsub had been kidnapping and torturing victims. Having to solve it and, more importantly, knowing there was someone out there just like him, was hard on Spencer. 
His brain almost didn’t work as it ran constant flashbacks of what Hankel did to him. Like a horror movie with no ending. 
Everyone noticed, not just Y/n.
She just didn’t understand why they wouldn’t help him. They were all far closer to him than Y/n was. Prentiss, Morgan and JJ didn’t seem to be doing anything to help him but Y/n just felt like she couldn’t let him suffer in silence. She knew Garcia had tried to ask him how he was on the phone but there was only so much she could do from so far away. It wasn’t any of the team's fault though, they knew how Spencer operated.
That was how she found herself outside his hotel room on the 3rd night of the case. After seeing his condition slowly deteriorate throughout the hours they’d been on the case, she couldn’t just sit by. So dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants, she knocked on his door. 
“Y/n... what are you doing here?” Spencer asked as he opened the door to see who it was. It was very obvious that in the 4 hours since Hotch had sent them to get some rest, Spencer had not slept a second. 
“I...” Y/n didn’t actually know how to answer his question. Instead, she just walked into his hotel room which caused him a lot of confusion. The puzzled look on his face didn’t stop. “I’m here for you, Spence.” She told him as she sat on his bed. 
“Obviously, you’re in my room but I don’t understand why.” He replied. His brows were furrowed and his arms crossed across his chest. At least he’d changed into a hoodie and pants. Y/n didn’t think she’d ever seen him in a hoodie. 
“Come here.” She instructed and he obliged, walking over to her so he was at the foot of the bed. “I’m here so you can have someone to talk to. Or not to talk to.” She explained. He still, very obviously, didn’t understand. “You haven’t stopped working on this case for almost 72 hours straight, that’s unhealthy. Now, you’re going to relax and just stop thinking about it.” 
Spencer huffed out a sigh. “I can’t just stop thinking about it.”
“Why?” 
“There’s someone out there who can’t stop thinking about it. He’s scared, terrified. And he’s just hoping that we can save him. But everything is telling him that there’s no one left. That they’re going to get there and be left with just his body.” Spencer hunched over as he talked, feeling as small as he looked. Tears were forming in his eyes and he was desperately fighting them. “I can’t stop working on this because we need to find out where he is. I can’t stop working on this because he can’t stop thinking about it. He’s living through the torture but he’s going to give up and want to give in to death.”
“What happened, Spencer?” Y/n softly asked as the tears started spilling down his cheeks. 
He just stood there blankly. “I can’t.” He sobbed out. 
Y/n knew about his aversion to hugs but she pulled him in for one, wrapping her arms around his slender waist. To her surprise, he leant into the embrace. 
They stayed like that for a while before she pulled back, picking up his hand. She moved back so she was sitting against the headboard and pulled Spencer over, patting her lap. He didn’t even give a second thought to lay his head on her lap. His brain could almost stop spinning as he laid there. 
Y/n moved her hand to his hair, threading it through her fingers. It was remarkably soft and fluffy. 
“What happened to you, Spence?” She asked him again. 
With tears still streaming out his eyes he could answer. “It hurt so much, Y/n. He wouldn’t stop it, no matter how much I begged. I was so helpless there.” He choked out, in a broken sentence due to his heavy breathing. 
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m right here.” Y/n comforted again. She tested out the boundaries by running her hand over his cheek and when he leant into her hand she continued to brush the tears off his cheek. “Let it all out.”
“I couldn’t do anything!” Spencer cried. It was the most painful sound she’d ever heard. Someone so composed and always perfect falling apart. He was broken. “I just sat there while he beat me. I can still feel it. When I close my eyes sometimes I see him. It’s so stupid because I know, scientifically, I’m experiencing PTSD but sometimes I feel all the walls coming down on me.”
Y/n’s heart broke for him. “Spencer, it’s not stupid.” He cried even harder at that. 
“I just need to crack the case and save him, Y/n. I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t.”
Y/n moved her hand to rub his back. “I know you feel that way.” She didn’t really know what to say to comfort him. He was so often the one helping everyone else out. 
“I feel so silly for still being scared too.” He mentioned. 
“Oh, Spence, it’s okay. Hankel is dead and you’re safe now.” She soothed him, still rubbing circles in his back.
He was still bawling his eyes out, feeling unbearable sadness. “I know that. But I still see him and I can still remember every second of it.”
“You didn’t deserve any of that.” She told him firmly. “He was sick, I know you know that. You went through the worst things imaginable and you’re so strong.”
He lightly nodded. “Will it get better?”
“Yes, if you keep talking about it. To anyone. JJ?” Y/n suggested. 
“I like talking to you.” He mentioned it, quieter than before. Y/n could finally smile at that. Despite everything, Spencer was still so kind. 
“Good.” She told him as she moved her hand back to his hair. “I could see it was getting to you. With all the similarities in him drugging and abusing his victims. I can’t imagine what you went through but I’m so proud of you.” She continued, meaning every word she told him. 
The tears had stopped coming so fast now. They were still constant but a weaker flow. “I just felt so helpless when I was there.”
Y/n almost chuckled at that. “Spencer, from what I’ve heard you were the one who told the team how to find you. I think you were so brave and I know they’re all so proud of you.” She told him. 
“Thank you.” He murmured as he moved his head in her lap. She continued to comb through his hair. 
They stayed in the exact position for a while. Until, eventually, the tears stopped. 
Spencer then sat up. His cheeks were flushed red as he made eye contact with Y/n. “I’m sorry I completely freaked out.” He nervously rambled out an apology. 
Y/n couldn’t have shaken her head faster. “Spencer Reid, you don’t have to be sorry for anything. Everyone needs someone to talk to.”
“I’ve got to save him, Y/n,” Spencer told her as he moved to get up off the bed, no doubt to go to his makeshift workspace. 
Instead, Y/n tugged on his arm, not letting him move. “I know you’ve got to, Spence. But you can’t do that if you haven’t slept or relaxed in days.” She informed him. He was smart enough, and he had read at least 300 articles on the importance of sleep, to not argue with her. 
“Okay, I’ll sleep. Thanks for coming to see me.” He told her, trying to get her out of the room. 
Y/n noticed. “I don’t think so. You’re stuck with me for the night, buddy.” She told him as she pattered her lap again. 
He looked like he was thinking about putting his head on it but he stopped. “Then you won’t sleep.” He realised.
“Okay then,” Y/n said as she pulled the covers of his bed up and got in. “I hope you’re okay with cuddling.” She was a little worried he wouldn’t be into it, just because of his germaphobic nature. But her worries subsided when he got in next to her and quickly put his head on her chest, 
Y/n moved so she was lying flat on her back with her head on a pillow. Spencer put his own head on her chest and wrapped his arms around her waist like a baby koala would its mother. 
She moved her arm so she could wrap it around Spencer’s torso and pull him closed but he stopped her. “Can you, uh... could you do it to my, um, hair?” He nervously asked. 
Happy to oblige, Y/n moved her hand to his hair and started to run her fingers through it. “If you just want to lie here it’s fine but we can talk too.” She offered him, still unsure of what he needed. Spencer was so used to closing up that he decided to go against what his brain was telling him. 
“My parents,’ He started, “When I was little we didn’t really do touching... no one’s ever hugged me like this.” The thought of a little kid Spencer not getting hugged broke Y/n’s heart again. 
“Is this okay?” She asked, cautious of where his boundaries might lie. 
“Yes.” He hurriedly answered, not wanting her to stop for a second. “I like it. I just didn’t get hugs as a kid from anyone. And as I grew up I learnt more about germs and figured that’s why my parents repealed me.” He spoke slowly and softly like he was half asleep. Maybe he was. “But I like this. It makes me feel better.” He figured. 
“That’s good.” Y/n hummed. “I’m always here for you if you want to talk or just cuddle.” She told him. 
The smile she could feel against her chest warmed her heart. “I’d like that and please don’t stop stroking my hair.” 
She smiled at that. “I won’t.” She meant it as she leant down to place a kiss on his forehead.
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storiesforallfandoms · 3 years ago
Text
boys are a disease ~ jennifer check;jennifer’s body
word count: 1139
request?: no
description: in which the school’s resident hot girl engages in a conversation with the outcast about how much boys suck
pairing: jennifer check x female!reader
warnings: swearing
masterlist (one, two)
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I was drying my hands using the shitty paper towels that the school provided when the bathroom door swung open. I glanced up a moment then did a quick double take when I realized who was stood there: the queen B herself Jennifer Check.
Jennifer was your stereotypical high school hot girl. She was a cheerleader, she had perfect skin and hair that seemed to be naturally silky no matter what. Every guy in school wanted to be with her and every girl wanted to be her. The only difference between Jennifer Check and other pretty, popular girls was that Jennifer’s best friend wasn’t a fellow hot cheerleader, but rather her polar opposite Needy Lesnicki.
I was also the polar opposite to Jennifer Check. I was your average social outcast, just trying to coast through school until I graduated and never had to see any of these assholes ever again. I figured Jennifer would’ve brushed right past me and pretend like I didn’t exist.
When she walked right up next to me and started talking, I went into a brief moment of shock.
“Boys are a fucking disease,” she proclaimed. “They don’t know how to leave a girl alone.”
Her attention was on the mirror in front of her. She was running her fingers through her already perfect hair, leaning in closer to the mirror to fix her makeup.
“Like Craig keeps fucking hounding me every time he sees me trying to ask me out on a date. You know who Craig is, right?”
It took me a moment to realize she was asking me a question. My words were still stuck in my throat, so I nodded in response instead.
“Of course you do? How can someone not know that fucking slimy twerp?” she continued. “He is, like, so not on my level to even consider hooking up with me, and he won’t fucking take no for an answer no matter how many times I say it. I saw him making a beeline for me in the hallway so I ducked in here to get away from him. No doubt he’ll be out there waiting for me when I leave.”
She glared at the door where Craig was likely stood by like a creepy stalker.
She turned her attention back to me and looked at me, expectantly. I wasn’t sure what to say. I still felt like I couldn’t even speak. Girls like Jennifer didn’t have casual, boy bashing conversations with girls like me.
“It’s cause he’s on the football team,” I finally managed, although I sounded unsure of myself as I said it.
“You’re totally right, it is,” Jennifer agreed. “I blame those stupid teen movies about cheerleaders and the quarterbacks. They make these losers think that just because they wear a varsity jacket they’re on the same level as us cheerleaders. Most of the football team are just gross, horny boys that wanna feel up your tits and fuck you for the five seconds they’ll last.”
I awkwardly shuffled. Jennifer was right, the football team definitely was not as cool as they thought they were, but the sex talk just made me feel a little awkward. It goes without saying, I had never been on the receiving end of anyone’s sexual advances, whether the feeling was mutual or not.
Jennifer noticed my tension. “Are you okay?”
“I’ve just never talked to someone popular for this long. I’m kind of waiting for things to go south.”
She was looking at me for a long time then. I figured this would be the moment she realized who I was and left in disgust for talking to a loser like me.
“Why would things go south? You seem really nice. At least, Needy always says so.”
“I’m not exactly popular.”
“Who gives a shit? Neither is Needy, but she’s my best friend.”
It’s hard to explain the social hierarchy of high school to anyone, let alone someone who flowed to the top so effortlessly. Needy wasn’t popular in the same sense that Jennifer was, but she wasn’t a complete loser. She had Jennifer - her popular best friend - and Chip - her not so popular but still cute and dorky boyfriend. Unlike Needy, I had no one. Not even a fellow outcast friend. Just...me.
Before I could explain this, the warning bell rang. Jennifer groaned and rolled her eyes. “God, I’m gonna have to face that total scuzball now.”
“I can come with you,” I offered. “Maybe he won’t corner you if you have back up.”
“Would you? It would mean so much to me.”
Her eyes were big and pleading and...beautiful. I couldn’t look away from them. With just one look, she had me wrapped around her perfectly manicured fingers. I wished to have that ability.
We stepped out of the bathroom together and, unsurprisingly, found Craig waiting. He started to advance on Jennifer, but stopped when his eyes landed on me. A confused look crossed his face, one that was mirrored by everyone who was passing by.
Jennifer looped an arm through mine and waved at Craig before dragging me down the hall towards class. I felt tense with the amount of attention I was receiving. I could almost hear the whispers about Jennifer hanging out with someone like me and I wasn’t sure how I felt about any of that.
When we reached the door, Jennifer turned to me, giving me her thousand watt smile.
“Thanks for that. It means a lot,” she said. “Maybe I’ll see you around again.”
“I’m - I’m in this class actually,” I told her.
“You are?” Okay, that one hurt a little. “That’s great! Come sit with me and Needy!”
She didn’t give me any time to respond before grabbing my arm and bringing me to the empty seat beside her.
“Hey, that’s where I sit,” Chasity said.
“Too bad bitch, find somewhere else,” Jennifer snapped. Chasity rolled her eyes and went to find a new seat.
“Hi (Y/N),” Needy said to me.
“Hi Needy.”
“Needy, you’ve really undersold (Y/N) to me,” Jennifer told her best friend. “She is extra salty.”
My brows furrowed together in confusion. “Salty?”
“It’s a compliment,” Needy assured me. “It means Jen likes you.”
“She saved me from Creepy Craig, of course I like her.”
Jennifer winked at me and I felt my face heat up with blush. The final bell rang and our teacher entered the classroom. I tried to focus on what she was saying, but I kept glancing over at Jennifer. As if feeling my gaze, she glanced over her shoulder at me and smiled.
For the first time, I didn’t see Jennifer as just the hot cheerleader that everyone fawned over. I saw the true beauty in her, something I could find myself looking at for a very long time.
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unwrittenlibrary · 3 years ago
Text
how she loves (like sleep to the freezing)
summary -> “Sometimes Bucky will catch glimpses of who he used to be in the mirror. They’re like silent movies that play as he stares at his reflection. A boy with bright eyes and even brighter smiles that can only see the good in the world. He’s struck with how warm he used to be when these memories play. Then he blinks and they’re gone, all that’s left is a cold man staring back at him whose eyes appear empty and smiles have almost disappeared.”
or; bucky has been cold for a long time and you’re unbelievably warm.
warnings -> not beta’d, nicknames (sunshine/blossom), a lot of allusions to coldness, bucky is lonely & reader is kind. implied that the avengers live in a building together
words -> 2.0k
notes -> tried out a different writing style with this one, a bit of bucky’s thoughts instead of the reader. i hope you enjoy 🥺 title from cherry wine by hozier. can u tell i love him
— ➶ —
Bucky has felt cold for a long time. He feels like the dead of winter.
A kind of cold that just settles. One that doesn’t bite against your skin harshly but instead, it pricks and prods constantly reminding you of an absence of warmth.
He’s felt cold for so long that a semblance of warmth is unknown to him.
The way you radiate warmth is a curiosity and fact in the oddest ways. It’s constant in a way that Bucky can’t comprehend, but always shown through sunshine filled smiles and gentle eyes.
“Hi, Bucky.” You murmur sweetly as you make your way through the gym. It’s empty, you and Bucky the only two occupants, and Bucky feels heat rise to his cheeks.
He nods in response before turning back to the punching bag.
Bucky has know cold for so long he doesn’t know to react to warmth. He sticks to awkward smiles and short nods so you know he’s not ignoring you.
Maybe one day he would feel thawed enough to force the words he so desperately wants to say in return out.
Sometimes Bucky will catch glimpses of who he used to be in the mirror. They’re like silent movies that play as he stares at his reflection. A boy with bright eyes and brighter smiles that can only see the good in the world. He’s struck with how warm he used to be when these memories play. Then he blinks and they’re gone, all that’s left is a cold man staring back at him whose eyes appear empty and smiles have almost disappeared. 
He thinks he would have had a chance with you back then. Imagines your lips painted red and a navy blue skirt while he wears his uniform with pride. Bucky would have taken you dancing and the two of you would have been warmer than the sun together. 
Maybe that’s what hurts the most about the memories. Now that Bucky has them back he can see the missing pieces that Steve tries to pretend he doesn’t miss. Bucky can see parts of who he used to be in the memories, parts that he’s unsure he’ll ever get back. 
He tries though. In the ways he knows how. He cuts his hair and Steve’s excited smile is worth how lost Bucky feels with when he goes to tug nervously at the locks only to find they’re no longer there.
He trains with Sam. It’s obvious Sam feels better when he can help and Bucky doesn’t want to be a burden on Steve’s found family, so he lets Sam show him moves and technology that can help in fights Bucky isn’t sure he wants to be a part of.
Sometimes though, when the memories are too much and he feels frozen, Bucky needs a break.
You seem to appear at these times. Almost like you know Bucky’s grown colder and needs something to ground him to earth.
“You okay, Buck?” You ask gently tone like honey as you move around the kitchen. He nods slowly as his eyes fall to the table in front of him.
You don’t realize it, but the honey drips down Bucky’s fingertips and brings feeling back to his frozen limbs. “I’m okay, sunshine.”
Your returning grin is bright and contagious as you settle in beside Bucky at the kitchen’s island. You’re content to sit in silence and Bucky is content to bask in your glow.
Maybe one day you would know. Maybe you wouldn’t. Bucky was starting to worry less about what ifs.
Steve runs like a furnace and a jealousy as green as ivy consumes Bucky when they’re in each other’s space.
It’s wrong to be jealous of Steve when for so long Steve had been the one who froze and shivered without complaint.
But when Bucky feels the heat of Steve hit him it makes him feel sick. Steve doesn’t have the same sweet as honey tone of voice or the same warmth you do. Steve’s heat doesn’t thaw Bucky out it only reminds him of the past that makes him feel colder.
“Are you okay, Bucky?” Steve’s hand slaps Bucky’s shoulder and burns. Bucky winces, it’s not the burn of a fire but the burn you feel when your hand touches snow for a second too long and his whole body recoils.
The hurt in Steve’s eyes is enough to make guilt claw its way up Bucky’s throat, but the words are frozen on his tongue. How can he explain this? How can Bucky explain that he feels like he’s never really left that ice Hydra forced him into?
“You know,” Bucky coughs awkwardly, “my shoulder. They fucked it up.” Steve’s shoulders sag with relief and his hand rests on Bucky’s right shoulder this time.
It still burns. Bucky has learned to tense his jaw and bear it.
Steve’s so happy to have, really have, Bucky back that there are things he lets slip through the cracks. Expressions he would have noticed in the forties and ticks Bucky still has.
Your hand replaces Steve’s as you step in between the two, like you know Bucky’s shoulder is hypothermic and your touch is all that can save it from turning black and blue.
“You’re okay.” You whisper without looking at him. Steve grins at Bucky, one that says he thinks there’s more to your appearance than you just wanting to help Bucky. “What’s wrong?”
Bucky shrugs.
There are no words to explain that your touch is like his saving grace.
“Bucky,” your fingers card through his hair in an attempt to wake him up, “you awake?” He’s not used to the short hair yet, but you seem to like how easily your fingers glide through it.
Yes. Bucky doesn’t open his eyes. He just makes sure to keep his breathing even as he feels a fingertip trail over his cheek.
Your touch never burns. It’s a relief. When your hand rests on her shoulder or your knuckles brush over his cheekbone, Bucky feels warm. The only way he could ever describe it to somebody who asked was the first day of Spring. The first real day of spring, when all the snow of winter has melted and flowers are peeking through the dirt again.
“I know you’re awake because you’ve got a stupid smile on your face,” you chastise with no real anger in your tone. Bucky cracks an eye open and finds you looking down at him with a grin. “What’s got you smiling like that?”
You. It’s always you. “Dreaming of something beautiful.” Bucky says softly. Your hand rests against his cheek and he feels both his cheeks heat up with a blush. He briefly wonders if you can feel the heat against the palm of your hand.
“Must have been a good dream,” you murmur, “if it’s got you smiling like that.”
You drop your hand and despite to absence of your touch, Bucky still feels warm. There’s no other way to describe it, but Bucky thinks putting it simply is best. “Yeah,” Bucky says softly as his eyes trail over you, “it was.”
“A smile is a good look on you, Barnes.” You say earnestly, a bright smile of your own gracing your face.
As Bucky watches you walk away, he feels lighter too, like something is changing in him.
Bucky’s learning how to feel warm again. Smiles and laughter that makes Steve’s eyes crinkle when he hears and your eyes widen in amusement.
He never wanted to feel cold, but he’ll admit he wallowed in the feeling. He let it settle over him without a fight, lucky to have someone as warm as you in his presence. Someone whose warmth melted his ice without even really trying,
“You’ve been happier lately,” you whisper. There’s a hesitance in your tone, like you’re afraid the words may upset Bucky.
Bucky nods. His head is resting against the back of the couch as he looks at you, your cheek resting against the palm of your hand as you look down at him curiously. “I’ve felt warm.” Bucky admits.
“Warm?” Your brows furrow in confusion. Bucky’s hand is resting on the cushion between you two. He inches in closer to your knee as the two of you watch one another.
Bucky supposes now is as good a time as any to tell you. “I’ve felt cold. For a long, long time. I can’t really explain it, but I know I’m finally starting to feel warm again.”
“Warm again,” you mutter as your hand meets his halfway, “that sounds lovely.” Your fingers follow a path over his palm before Bucky captures them in his.
He can feel himself blush, he seems to do it a lot around you. “You make me feel warm again,” there’s nobody else in the room, but Bucky keeps his voice at a whisper, “like spring.”
“Spring,” you repeat in a low tone, “you make me feel like Spring too, Bucky.” And you smile, one as bright as the sun, and Bucky is happy to soak in it.
He’s learning that in warmth there is comfort. Bucky’s learned a lot, actually, and he’s starting to realize while he may never feel like the bright light he was in the forties, he can grow into something just as warm. Now there are more days than not where his feet no longer feel stuck to the ground and he can feel his eyes light up.
He wants to share it with you and he’s getting comfortable enough to do so. He wants you to see his spring and watch him grow and if your warmth is included in that he wants it to be because it’s what you want, not because you feel obligated to.
Not that you’d ever implied you did. Bucky just worries.
“Sunshine,” Bucky grins as you come to a stop in front of him, “you look beautiful.” You’re wearing a lovely, emerald green gown that flows to your feet.
“Thanks, blossom.” Your eyes shine with mirth as you say it and a Bucky is sure his cheeks have turned a bright shade of red in response. “I have a gift for you.”
Bucky’s eyes widen as you hand over a thin box. “What is it?” He asks automatically as he begins to pull the tape holding the lid closed off.
“Open it!” You urge. Bucky pulls the lid off and his eyes widen when he sees the emerald green tie. The one he had on now was a plain black, meant to compliment you and not clash with your dress color.
Your eyes are watching him curiously, waiting for a response, but Bucky can’t get any words out. There are butterflies in his stomach that make it hard to breathe. “Do you… Is it okay?” You ask quietly after a moment.
“Yeah. Yes!” Bucky looks at you with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. “I love it,” he starts quietly, “will you help me put it on?”
Your eyes widen this time, but you nod and Bucky moves to pull his black tie off quickly. You don’t ask why he needs your help with this tie and not the black one and Bucky appreciates it as you slide the green around his neck.
You take a step closer and Bucky’s breath hitches as you being to slowly knot the tie around his neck. He had grown used to you and your warmth in his space, but this felt different. The air between you two felt charged. Bucky’s eyes trail over your face admiringly as you focused on the task in front of you.
“Sunshine,” Bucky starts in a whisper. Your eyes snap to his, your hands still resting on his chest. “I-“
“I know,” you murmur. Your palms flatten against his chest as you tilt your head up towards him. Bucky doesn’t have the chance to say anything else because you press a soft kiss against his lips.
It’s a blink and you miss it type kiss. By the time Bucky registers that you’re kissing him, you’ve pulled away to look at him with gleeful eyes.
“We promised Steve we wouldn’t be late,” You take an agonizingly slow step away, “and I keep promises.”
Bucky slips his hand into yours, intertwining your fingers together, and allows you to pull him down the hallway.
It’s the dead of winter, but Bucky feels like summer.
— ➶ —
notes -> not too sure how i feel about this… definitely something different. i feel like my writing has been subpar lately…. idk! have a great night 💗 or day!
if you enjoyed reblogs are greatly appreciated 🥺
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foreverindreamlandd · 3 years ago
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Let me take care of my sweet girl
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Plus Size!Reader
Summary: Holidays are hard and this it just a total self-indulgent fic 😂 Enjoy 💕
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“Don’t cry. It’s just a number. Don’t cry.”
It wasn’t just a number, though. It was never just a number. Not when it was displayed on the scale below you.
A number that continued rise and fall throughout the course of your life. When it fell, you would promise it would never reach as high as it did. When it rose, you felt dread and shame rush through your entire body. Just as it did tonight.
It was always hardest during the holidays. You had spent the warmer seasons outside, walking and running when the temperature allowed. But when Christmas arrived, daylight was gone when you got home from work, sweets and carbs were handed out left and right wherever you went, food being the comfort shared by all during the cold winter days and nights, as was your warm, soft bed combining perfectly with the arms of your warm, soft boyfriend to help you get through the stressful and busy season.
Of course, those happy, lazy moments came at a price. The extra sugar/carb intake and lack of movement caused clothes to feel tighter, your body to feel gross and heavy, and the dreaded number on the scale to rise.
And you would inevitably reach a point where you would stare at yourself in the mirror, silently yelling at yourself about letting it get to this point. Again. Even though you promised it wouldn’t.
“Baby? Everything okay in there?” Bucky called out from the living room.
You wiped away your tears, taking a few deep breaths before exiting the bathroom and meeting your handsome, beefy boyfriend on the couch, sitting by his side. It was Christmas Eve, which meant it was time for your annual tradition to watch your favorite movie, The Holiday.
Bucky moved to wrap an arm around you, hand resting around your waist and onto your bloated stomach causing you to flinch. You tried to play it off with a warm smile, but his furrowed brows told you he caught the hostile movement.
“You okay, love?”
You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Just feeling a bit gross.”
“Gross? Did you not wash your hands or something?”
Oh, Bucky. He truly was one of a kind. The only person who could make you laugh even when you were on the verge of a breakdown.
“No, I washed my hands, Buck, don’t worry.” You frowned, unsure if you wanted to open up about this. But he was your person, the one you trusted with every fiber of your being. He had seen you at your most vulnerable times and still loved you. “I just, I checked my weight and now I feel like a trash monster. Been eating too much as if going into hibernation mode and it makes me feel gross.” Tears pricked your eyes with shame.
Bucky frowned, opening up his arms as an invitation, one that you could never be able to not accept and you melted into them. They were your happy place, after all. His arms enveloped you, squeezing you both gently and tightly as if you were something so precious, so fragile that he didn’t want to let slip through his hold.
“You know how I feel about moments when you talk about yourself like that,” he started. “I wholeheartedly disagree with all of it and think you’re the most amazing, beautiful, perfect person I’ve ever laid eyes on. But, I know that sometimes the voices get the better of you and make you feel some type of way, and I’m so proud of you for opening up about it instead of letting them eat you alive. Just know that those voices are temporary, and completely untrue. I’m happy to hold you and tell you how beautiful you are - just as you are - until they get tired of me and finally leave.”
Bucky kissed your neck and the ticklish sensation made you giggle through the tears slowly falling down your face. “How did I get such a good guy like you?”
He chuckled, kissing your forehead. “I ask myself the same thing about you every day, doll. You make it so easy to love you. Just please, for me, try to go easy on yourself. You’re always working your ass off this time of year, and it’s okay to relax and comfort yourself when you can. Let me take care of my sweet girl, okay?”
You looked up at him, meeting his gorgeous blue eyes that looked at you with such fondness you felt every negative thought melt away from it. “I will. I love you.”
He leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours and kissing away all of the numbers that had just consumed your mind, leaving you happy and at peace. “I love you, too, Y/n.”
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jameui · 3 years ago
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MOVIE DATE
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PAIRING: Hwang Hyunjin x Manager!M!Reader
GENRE: Angst, Fluff
WARNING: Hyunjin being a jerk
SUMMARY: You boyfriend, Hyunjin took you out on a date to watch your favorite movie.
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You sighed in exhaustion and as if the world was trying to test you, a fast running bicycle came your way causing you to jump to the side, so fast that you forgot about the takeouts you had in your hands and at a blink of an eye the neatly boxed items fell to the ground, all the food now spilled on the floor with your eyes widening in fear. "Shit!" You yelled out and tried to get back to the restaurant again, but as soon as you got there the line was already long and it'd take you ages to get to the counter to order, again.
You were at your way to your work with your phone squeezed in between your shoulder and ear as you talked to your co-manager on the other line who seemed agitated for your tardiness, while you tried to balance the foods you were made to order. "Yes, sir. I'll make sure that won't happen again." You told the male before the call was cut short when he decided to hang up all of a sudden.
Looking around, you saw a chinese restaurant that had the smallest line, so you went there and bought the food there, even though the orders of the group was not exactly what they wanted for you to buy. You just couldn't go back empty handed.
After a few minutes of walking, you finally arrived at the venue of the fansign event and got there just in time before Stray Kids were called to the stage for their activity to be done, but the moment you got there you saw that the people present were already eating their food away. They noticed your presence entering the room whilst their head turned to look at you. "I... Good morning, everyone." You greeted them. 'Guess their manager got their food delivered.'
You didn't get a reply, except from the group who was more than happy to see that you had food on your hands. "Hyung! Thank God. I was starving." The group's youngest, Jeongin said as he helped you put the foods down on the table. "You're seriously a life saver."
You smiled at him giving him a muttered thanks that earned you a smile from Jeongin. Honestly speaking, Jeongin was the second best person you ever liked in the group, the first being Lee Felix since he was the only person to ever approach you on your first day since he was able to see how much you were so nervous. Felix was also one of the members who taught you korean, the other being Bang Chan. You had always knew the group back then, and now and you were damn thankful that you got the opportunity to be in their circle.
Knowing how young you were to be working for them, they treated you nicely, not because they needed to, rather cause it was in their nature to be caring. Well, at least except one person. You were the closest to Felix who treated you like his personal manager and a friend as well, going out on friendly dates with you to the park, dog cafés, just anywhere Felix would find interesting to visit.
Who's the person that seemed irritated whenever you were around you ask? Why, the one and only visual king, Hwang Hyunjin. He doesn't actually treat you bad, but the way his eyes would always turn dark or displeased when you show up in his line of sight made you feel so small and felt totally unwelcomed. That was then, apparently, since today the male looked a little too quiet and didn't even bother to look at you. Believe me or not that's actually the kindest thing he's done to you.
You would try to go to him to try and talk to him, worried by his silence. You just furrowed your brows and sighed completely aware that no matter how much you try to talk to him he won't even dare to acknowledge you being there for him.
"M/n, are you just gonna stand there? Come and eat." Chan told you, but you just politely declined his offer with the shake of your head before telling him that you had just taken your breakfast and that you were full, more and you feel like your stomach's gonna burst. "Hm, suit yourself, but I'll be leaving mine untouched, so you can eat it when you get hungry, yeah?"
"You're so kind, Chan." You gave him a smile that got Chan smiling also showing his deep dimples that you could just dive in it anytime soon.
"Hey, hey, hey! We've known each other the longest. Why do I still have to call you 'hyung' and M/n doesn't?" Jisung, one of the group's rapper, pouted with folded arms as Chan chuckled before ruffling the kid's hair that Jisung angrily shook off.
"Well, since he's not that spoiled, unlike you." Chan answered Jisung who gasped dramatically. "And he also gained my permission, so—"
"Whenever or not he's around, is he the only person that ever comes into your mind?" That all too familiar voice spoke out, all your heads turning towards the person. He scoffed and stood up with a smirk on his face, probably in disbelief that the whole group was talking to you and always thought about you. "I mean, come on. There's gotta be something else to talk about other than this... person." You felt his eyes look at you while your eyes stared at him with rising anger. "There's sports, other artists, songs, music, so many and you chose to pick him as the topic of your talk."
"Hyunjin, that is very disrespectful." Chan gritted out, but Hyunjin knew better than to listen or to even stop.
"I'm really not, hyung." Hyunjin's smirk grew wider eyeing you with a suspicious look on his eyes. An idea popped in his head as he opened his mouth to talk. "But, if you want to, I could show you how disrespectful I can get." Without any warning, he took the take-out container and bottled drink in his hand and gave you no second to react as he poured all of its contents onto your head with a loud gasp coming out of you. "There. I'll call it a masterpiece even."
"Hwang Hyunjin!" Bang Chan's voice boomed through the whole room a still smirking Hyunjin turning around to face the older male who was fuming with anger. "You—"
"Chan!" You called out to him before things got a little out of hand. For pete's sake their going to just fight because Hyunjin had made a mess of you? You were not even worth the fight. "No. I'm fine. I can just quickly change, that's all. I'll be right back and I better get no reports about you two fighting." You told the two, Chan rolling his eyes.
You got out of the room and ran as fast as you can to the nearest restroom, cleaning yourself as soon as you arrived. Times like this you would immediately bawl your eyes out, but with the constant behavior that Hyunjin showed to you, you grew used to it. Heck, you even sometimes feel that the other boys only act like they liked you being there and when you weren't, they'd stab you behind your back. "Goodness, why won't this get off."
"Need help?" A raspy voice came from the entrance of the restroom, turning your head around to see Felix leaning himself on the door frame with his arms crossed, then untangled them to let his hands rest inside his pockets and stepped inside as you smiled at him. "Do you need more tissue?"
You shook your head at him, your attention back on your stained favorite shirt wiping them clean with the tissues the place's restroom owned. "Nah, there's plenty here. Besides, I'm all dried up now." You said and showed yourself to him, Felix knitting his brows in worry.
He seeped air through his teeth and cocked his head to the side, unsure if you should be wearing that now dirty shirt when you'd be with them during the activity the whole time. "I don't think you should be wearing that."
"Why? It's my favorite sweater." You chuckled half-heartedly.
"Yeah, I know, M/n, but it's dirty. Plus, I think it gets pretty uncomfortable seeing that stain on your shirt and it gets sticky. Yeugh." Felix pretended to barf which got you laughing softly. Felix, though not trying to be funny, whatever he does it always seemed so funny to you.
"Fine, fine. I'll go change, the problem though is that I didn't bring an extra shirt with me today." You told Felix scratching your nape.
"Really? Well, I guess we have to borrow from one of the group's." Felix suggested, but your eyes grew sizes bigger upon hearing that and waved your hands.
"No way, Felix! I have already done enough damage, I can't afford to borrow a shirt from one of the members, or to you even." You told him, but it all fell on deaf ears as Felix refused to listen. "I'm just trouble, Felix. You don't have to worry about me."
Felix hummed with two fingers pinching his chin gently. "Yeah, I don't think so." He took your wrist and started to drag you back to the dressing room. "Come on, I know there's someone willing to let you borrow a shirt." You just sighed, knowing that Felix won't even dare to change his mind when he had already set them on something.
Alas, as you two got there, none of the members even had a spare shirt to let you borrow. They were very willing and even tried to look around if there was anything, but to no avail. Although, there was one last person you didn't ask. "Hyunjin. You were the cause of this mess, you let him borrow your shirt." Felix sternly told the older male who pilled his brows together.
"What?! No way! Are you telling me I'd offer to do something for that guy? No!" Hyunjin retorted making Felix growl.
Felix was so ready to throw punches at the male who didn't seem to be bothered by the situation, but you just put a hand on Felix's shoulder and assured him. "That's alright, Felix. My sweater was thick enough to not get my undershirt wet. Although, I'm grateful for your effort." You smiled at him and sighed.
Just in time, you heard a call from one of your co-manager that the group was already being requested to be at the stage right now. You gave them an encouraging smile as they all did the same. "Alright boys. It's time to go out there and meet millions of your fans."
The group all shouted, excluding Hyunjin, hurray and hurried out to get on stage, you following behind after you were able to discard your sweater, leaving you only on your black t-shirt. You shivered at the cold now that you were left with a thin clothing that wasn't appropriate for the type of weather you were having and not mention that the place was fully air-conditioned.
Your shaking was not too evident, but one of the members, Seungmin, was able to notice it. Feeling pity he made his way to Hyunjin and tried to convince him. "Jinnie, M/n's cold. Please lend him your jacket, at least. He'll get sick if he continues to get exposed to the cold."
"Better for him."
"Hyunjin, please... Besides, you're already wearing thick layers of clothes why not let M/n borrow." Seungmin reasoned out and solemnly knitted his brows to persuade the male, Hyunjin rolling his eyes at his bestfriend and huffed before taking his jacket off of him and handed it over to Seungmin who silently squeaked. "Thanks, Hyunjin." Hyunjin brushed it off with a 'whatever', the younger of the two jogging his way towards you and gave you the jacket he got from Hyunjin. "I noticed your shivering, so I want you to take this jacket and no, you can't say you can't accept it."
You nodded your head at him and took the jacket from his hands. "Thank you, Seungmin."
"My pleasure." He smiled at you with those puppy dog like smile. He skipped back to reunite with his group while you put on the jacket that Seungmin offered you. You were still in thought though how Seungmin was able to convince Hyunjin to let you borrow his jacket. You knew Hyunjin owned the jacket since he wouldn't let them go since the moment you arrived.
You noticed how the jacket was too big for you, since the sleeves of the piece of clothing only let your fingers peek out through the holes while the flaps reached further down your hips, but it totally felt cozy and smelled like... Hyunjin. How do you explain it? You don't even know where to begin. It was him. The reason why you wanted to work with Stray Kids. You didn't want to look like you were some type of stalker, but all you ever wanted was to befriend Hyunjin.
The befriending process didn't go the way you actually thought it would go. Everytime his eyes met yours or you heard his voice you'd get all flustered and so nervous that your tongue always gets tied, the words you want to tell him gets trapped inside your mouth. It all started to be just an admiration towards the slightly older male until your determination to become his friend gradually became an unknown feeling towards Hyunjin, until realizing later that you actually liked the group's rapper, despite all his bad treatment towards you.
Back to reality, you hugged yourself and took in the wonderful scent the artist gave off until one of your co-worker nudged you. "Hey, stop sniffing the clothes. You totally look like a sasaeng."
"W-what? I wasn't sniffing anything." You denied it earning an eye roll. Later, you heard the whole place bursted into shouts of joy and excitement as Stray Kids made their appearance on the stage greeting all their fans inside and outside of the place. They all took their turns taking the mic to express their happiness and gratefulness to their ocean of fans that filled up the whole place.
Soon, the group was seated at a long rectangular table that was a perfect fit letting all the members seat on their respective seats. There were chairs as well settled in front of the table with each settled across a specific member.
You were appointed to keep guard and stand behind Hyunjin, in any case of fans throwing shade at him or any forms of harm or hate towards the member who had just been caught up in a supposed bullying rumor.
The line started to form as people who were present inside the place took their turns to talk to each member and get a sign from them. So far, you could only wonder how paranoid the company was to keep you on guard of Hyunjin when all these people here are Stays and they wouldn't do such thing to throw hate to any members in the group. Right?
The line was still too long to be gone in just minutes making you sigh, hearing your tummy rumble hoping that no one heard that. You now finally regret not eating that noodles that Chan offered you, the hunger finally hitting your system as your tummy continued to grumble. You pursed your lips and forced your eyes closed while you brought your head down in embarrassment. 'Fuck... why now?'
After a short while, the line was starting to get shorter and shorter, you thanking the heavens for the fast passing by of the time. But, the moment you least expected to happen happened. You felt a harsh tap on your legs and another and another after it finally took your attention, getting a little shocked that the action was done by the person who hated you the worst. "Take it before I change my mind." He told you. You complied and bowed at him politely as he tuts his tongue. "Who would even think of going to work on an empty stomach?"
'You... poured it on me?' You thought then shrugging it off before you looked at the treat offered to you by Hyunjin. You wondered what type of bread it was and hesitated, although Hyunjin's back was facing you he was able to sense your hard time on trying to eat what he gave you.
"It's not poisoned, M/n." He whispered as he signed the album that had his photo on it, then looking up at the fan who would like to talk to him.
Their talk wasn't audible to you, but you opened the packaging of the nicely wrapped pastry and bit on it with your body facing the wall so your back was turned against the people to cover yourself while you ate. One of your co-manager did notice your unwanted behavior and stomped his way to you and took the baked good from your hands and threw it to the ground to step on it and crush it good. "What do you think you're doing, L/n?! You're being inappropriate right now." He gritted out to you with a small voice almost like a whisper so no one else would hear you two. You bowed your head subtly before a hand was placed right below your chin as you looked up at him confused. "Spit." He ordered, referring to the food you were chewing.
You nod your head and spit out the food that was in your mouth into his hand while he picked up the wasted food and left, then threw it all at a trash can. "Fuck." You sighed as you held your chest and slowly turned around to face the non-existent line, the group now interacting with their fans.
Just looking at them now, you were able to remember when you were the one who was there seated at the chairs shouting out the name of the person you would call as your bias, which is no other than Kim Seungmin. At least, when you still didn't take the job to be one of the group's manager. Usually, it would only take one manager to manage the group, but why did this group require another one? You questioned yourself. It was all unexplained to you, but all you gotta do was to just be glad that you get to be friends with the people you see as your role models.
"Hyunjin-ah! When did you start trading jackets with your manager?" The question came out as a shout that got everyone laughing, including the group. You were only able to chuckle knowing that it was Seungmin who convinced Hyunjin to let you borrow his jacket.
Hyunjin didn't get to answer the question, when another fan spoke from the crowd that got every fans' attention. "Are rumors true that you don't treat Manager L/n well?"
Chan furrowed his brows and picked up his microphone. "Where did you get this story?" He chuckled trying to make it sound that it wasn't true and just pure bluff. Chan looked at Hyunjin with the face that told Hyunjin that he should start treating you well if he didn't want the netizens to know about his treatment towards you. "Anyways, it's seriously not true."
-----------
A few minutes later and the event was finally finished and the group was bidding their goodbyes to their fans as they started to walk backstage. You waited for them at their waiting room with a handful of bottled waters for the boys to pick up once they get inside. The door soon opened revealing the group with a tense atmosphere following them that got you so confused. "Hey—"
"Hyunjin. If word gets out about your mistreatment to M/n, that would be a serious damage to our image and to M/n as well, 'cause he's obviously in pain because of you!" Chan yelled at the trouble causing male who only rolled his eyes paying no heed to his warning.
"Atleast, I never went too far as to really hurt him physically." Hyunjin deadpanned Chan growling at his response. Your eyes flickered to Hyunjin, then to Chan not knowing what to do in this situation.
"You are seriously being a jerk right now, Hyunjin." Chan fumed in anger while Hyunjin just continued to act deaf and played on his phone. Chan, giving up, sighed and plopped down on his seat. "Ayayay."
They took turns in getting your glances as you thought of a way to calm the atmosphere. You had already been their manager for a over a year now and this was the only time that Hyunjin ever spoke up to Chan and, to top it off, with sass and without the slightest feeling of being bothered. That was the moment you felt like you had enough. You've had enough with all these things. You were tired of yourself to even think that Hyunjin would finally soften up to you and be his friend. You were wrong to even apply for this kind of job. The group wouldn't be fighting if it hadn't been for you appearing in their lives all so suddenly. "Guys... let him do as he pleases. I'll be the one to take of whatever the netizens hear."
Chan raised his eyes up at you with furrowed brows. "What do you plan on doing? Whatever it is don't do it."
You smiled and nodded. "I won't, Chan." You held up the bottles in your hands and turned on a toothy smile. "Water? Anyone?" They all sighed in relief and got their turns in picking their own bottled water, the last one not being picked up by Hyunjin, so you decided to give it to him. You brought the cold drink to his face making him flinch as he looked up at you. "Thank you for the bread, by the way." You told him and giggled. "I've already packed your jacket in your bag." You informed him and patted his back.
The once crazily terrifying atmosphere now turned into a more comfortable one, the one you always would want to see. You didn't know what got you the courage to speak or blurt out whatever you had in your mind, but you looked at Hyunjin and said: "Hyunjin, can I talk to you privately?" Thankfully, their loud voices was able to distract themselves from hearing your request to Hyunjin who sighed and nodded his head. He stood up from his seat and started to move outside of the room. You followed behind closely, feeling intimidated by the month older's tall figure. "Hyunjin..."
"Cut to the chase, M/n. I don't have much time." He told you as you nod your head in understanding and fiddled with your fingers.
"I know, you'd probably like hearing this, but could I have the permission to quit as your group's manager?" You asked him, his forehead creasing that made him pull his brows together. "I was able to notice what the group had become the moment I became your manager—"
"And do you think quitting would change it?" Hyunjin asked you with a raised brow. "If anything, it'd probably—no, it would break their hearts to know that you quitted. If you do so, you're not only quitting as a manager, but as their friend as well."
"And you're able to say that after you purposely tried to have me fired or suspended from work by offering me that bread?" You sarcastically answered, Hyunjin clearing his throat.
"Well... that wasn't my intention. I didn't even know it'd get you fired." Hyunjin replied making you chuckle.
"Yeah..." You replied with a sad smile. "But, I don't wanna be the reason why you and Chan would always fight. Stray Kids is Stray Kids because they're fun and loving, caring. And I don't want to change that by being around the group." Hyunjin never replied anymore and you sighed. "I'm heading back now." You said and as you started to walk back inside, Hyunjin spoke.
"I wish you never entered our life, at all, M/n." He told you that got your heart broken into pieces. Sure, you admitted that he never liked you even just a bit, but him saying it so bluntly to you, it's like he does really mean it and could only care less. You were about to speak when Hyunjin beat you to it. "If so, I wouldn't be able to garner these undeniable feelings I have for you."
You froze. Were you hearing right? You just cleaned your ears this morning, well you do it everyday. Is your ear trying to play with you? "W-what?"
"DAMN! WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT?!" You gasped with your mouth full of popcorn, your boyfriend, Hyunjin seated beside you at the movie theater. He smiled at you admiring how cute you looked with your shocked expression that was being illuminated by the big screen. "Jinnie! Look, they're gonna kiss! AH!!" As the two actors in the movie was about to kiss, one of the movie's cast bursted out of the door cutting the kiss and earned a few 'oh's and 'I hate you, Chan's. "Chan is such a cock blocker."
"Watch your mouth, babe." Hyunjin told you making you pout.
"It's true, though!" You retorted and Hyunjin could only laugh at your cuteness and honest opinions.
294 notes · View notes
channiebbang · 4 years ago
Text
just listen, trust me.
synopsis: a misunderstanding drives jaemin away from the only person that he should've trusted. when reality slaps him in the face he feels miserable and tries to win his love back. or something of the sort lol
characters: Jaemin, Main Character, Jeno, and a bit of Haechan, Renjun, Chenle, Mark and Jisung.
pairing: boyfriend!jaemin x f.maincharacter
genre: angst angst angst and fluff
word count: 7k (fucking hell it's THAT long?) sorry lmao
warnings: none
author’s note: this took way too long to finish jfvamejgf but i really couldn't come up with a good enough ending. or more like i couldn't write down what i wanted to write lol but i finally finished it heheh i hope you like it and it satisfies the wait i made you go through lol 💛💛
the many things people told him echoed in his head. the dimmed lights of his studio room and the slow, low beat of the music not doing much to brighten up his mood.
she's being too friendly with that one friend of yours, don't you think?
he's warming up too much to her.
watch out, you wouldn't want someone to whisk her away from you, she is a bit naive, she could be affected too easily.
and it would all have fallen to deaf ears, because he was never one to let anyone talk about his personal life, only if one of his closest friends hadn't said something.
"jaem," jeno's voice made jaemin turn to his friend. jeno looked around to their other friends before figuring out they wouldn't let what he was going to say out of the circle.
"yeah," jaemin smiled at jeno, remnants of his laugher from what renjun was saying. jeno cleared his throat still unsure how to approach the topic.
as soon as the news reached his ears he had searched for his friend. he was unsure of the news but he figured jaemin could always ask y/n and they would solve things if it were to be lies. what jeno didn't know at the time was all the other stuff jaemin had heard.
"listen," jeno started, tongue darting out to wet his dry lips, "i.. people are saying some stuff and i-," he cleared his throat again, in nervousness, "i thought i should let you know. i don't think they are true at all! but... one can never be too sure, right?" he asked, voice unsure as his eyes darted to meet jaemin's. the latter's brows furrowed in confusion, wondering what the hell jeno was talking about and he was just about to ask when he continued.
"in case it's wrong then you guys can always just clear it out but i heard this from someone close and thought i would let you know either ways," jeno's hand scratched his neck in nervousness.
"just fucking say it, oh my god," chenle huffed, impatient with the suspense the older was building up.
"i swear to god, if you say something like a joke," haechan warned, mark snorting.
"i'm serious, just," jeno groaned, wondering why he had to be the one to break the news.
"just tell me, jeno," jaemin smiled and jeno felt the already heavy load on his shoulder get 20 kgs heavier. he took a deep breath. all in one go, he thought, just like a band aid.
"y/n is cheating on you."
and jaemin's world fell apart.
everyone could have been wrong but jeno? could jeno be wrong too?
silence. total silence followed as jaemin's smile fell and his eyes stared ahead to jeno but not really.
he thought about y/n, thought if he could picture her doing anything like than and the answer came right away, even before he finished his thought. no. just no. she could never. but they always said it's the people you least expect it from. but y/n? she could never... right?
"what the fuck are you talking about?" it was mark who had spoken, the defensive tone evident in voice as he did nothing to mask it and jeno looked away from jaemin's eyes to the eldest.
"y/n could never, she's not like that," renjun chuckled drily, in disbelief.
"jeno, are you sure about this?" haechan raised a hand in front of him to assess the grave situation.
"that's what i said. i heard this from someone who's reliable, i can't say who, though."
jaemin cleared his throat catching everyone's attention. he gulped the lump in his throat before he looked around the group.
"i'll handle this, don't worry."
that was all he said but even if he sounded calm and collected, his eyes said a different story, and his clenched jaw showed a different side of the coin. and as much as they wanted to believe he would handle it with care with y/n, they saw the storm coming even before he did. because jaemin's eyes were on fire, he was aflame. and that uncertainty he had before had just been consumed with jeno's confirmation. jaemin's tipping point was reached. as he turned to walk away a hand grasped his arm.
"jaemin," it was jisung, jaemin waited for him to go on.
"she would never do that." was all he said.
the ding of his phone's notification brought him back from the memory. he reached out to his phone deciding this could no longer be avoided. he was determined enough. with these thoughts running in his head he dialed y/n's number and pressed the phone to his ear.
"hello? jaem?" she answered, and he sighed because how could she sound so angelic, and how was he supposed to confront her when he felt his heart tighten just by her voice. he sucked up the weakness he felt for her when she called out his name again.
"hey, where are you?" he asked softly, but no matter how much he tried to conceal it, the coldness in his voice seeped through.
"i'm at the cafe near my apartment with kyunhae," she giggled and at the mention of the name jaemin saw red. what the fuck was she doing with him?
"when will you be done? i need to talk to you," he deadpanned, voice colder than y/n had ever heard and she felt at alert right away. why was he talking like that?
"jaem?" wonder laced her voice as she silently asked what was up but jaemin said nothing.
"it's urgent," he specified and y/n had asked him to pick her up right away, sensing something was wrong. and jaemin was left confused to stare at his phone again.
how long are you gonna pretend you care about me? why are you doing me this dirty? why are you faking caring about me?
with those thoughts he had gotten up, whisked his jacket from behind his bedroom door and out of the house he was.
as he drove through the streets he tried to think again, he tried to figure out again if she could really have cheated on him. he was desperate for it to be a lie but then again, jeno had confirmed it, hadn't he?
could the girl that held him so tightly when they slept, cheat on him? could the girl he grew to love so much do this to him? how could she even think about it when she cried during children's movies, had ice cream cravings out of nowhere, cried in his arms, clinging to him when he had almost fainted from low blood pressure, helped him stand back on his feet whenever he was sick, babying him through the whole process. how could she cheat on him when she kissed him so softly, as if he was the most precious thing she had, when she held him so close as he murmured sweet nothings in her ears, when she looked at him with so much love when he smiled, when right as he laughed he would look over at her and she would be staring at him. her excuse? she loved seeing him happy. how could the same person that confessed her love for him in between shallow breaths, gasps and whines as he made her feel good be the same person to cheat. how could she make him feel so loved and so important if it was all fake.
it took him a total of twenty minutes to reach the cafe. he parked the car outside as he texted y/n he was out front. he waited for her leaned against the side of his car.
the door to the entrance to the cafe opened and y/n walked out first, face turned behind her as she laughed with kyunhae. jaemin's hands balled into fists as he watched the interaction, the anger swam in his veins as he watched y/n collide her fist against his in a fist bump before calling out a text me later.
y/n turned out front to jaemin and the way her eyes seemed to genuinely spark up in bright stars as soon she saw him had his heart clenching in pain. how long have you been mastering this act? how can you look this genuine?
"hi, handsome," she gushed as she pressed her chest to his, arms wrapping around his neck as she pressed a soft kiss to his jaw. jaemin gulped, eyes trained to her relaxed expression, eyes closed and a soft smile on her lips as she hugged him standing on her tippy toes. his arms shoot out out of habit as they went to wrap around her waist before his hands hovered over her frame. he couldn't do it. he couldn't pretend everything was okay.
as y/n didn't feel jaemin hug her back she pulled away slowly, her eyes looking up at him as her arms slowly fell away from him.
"jaem?" she softly called him and his eyes met hers, cold as ever. her hand raised to rest on his cheek in affection but before she could touch his skin, his fingers wrapped around her wrist and stopped her in her tracks. y/n's brows furrowed in confusion.
"let's go," he simply said as he stepped away and opened the passenger seat door for her, y/n looked at him for a few seconds more as he looked to the side and waited for her to get in, so she did.
the silence was eating y/n alive as she fidgeted with her fingers, suspecting something was wrong. she raked her brain, wondering if she did or said anything wrong but it all came empty.
"jaem?" she tentatively called for him. jaemin waited for a few seconds before he hummed in acknowledgement, but even that small sound seemed cold, colder than he had ever been.
"is something wrong?" she softly asked, hand reaching out to grasp his and intertwining their fingers before resting it on her lap. but as soon as the back of his hand rested against her jeans clad thigh he shook off her hand to grasp the wheel again.
she sat frozen, eyes trained where their hands were, her hand still in her lap the same way he had shook it off. what did i do so bad? she wondered.
"i'm driving," came his excuse but she knew something else was up. he had never rejected her touch like this.
"if something is wrong please tell me, i'll help you," she shook off the hurt before turning to him and sending a small smile, eyes pleading, but jaemin stared ahead, silent.
a few minutes later jaemin parked the car in his apartment building garage before swiftly getting out and waiting for y/n. it took her a few seconds before she was out too. they made their way to the elevators. the elevator came, they got in, and it went up to jaemin and his friend's apartment floor. all in silence.
jaemin walked in first, leaving the door open for y/n. as she closed the door behind her she made eye contact with jisung. the boy smiled warmly at the girl and stepped towards her.
"oh! didn't know you were coming over, want some?" he raised the hot pot of ramen, seemingly on the way to his room, and y/n smiled shaking her head as she took her shoes off.
"i ate, but thank you," she smiled warmly and jisung threw her a thumbs up before walking to his room and closing the door.
y/n walked into the apartment looking around for which way jaemin went before her eyes fell on his seated figure in the living room. everyone seemed to be in their own rooms apart from mark, who stood in the kitchen.
"hey," he waved, a warm smile on his lips before his eyes shifted jaemin and his smile dimmed a bit, y/n waved back.
she shuffled towards jaemin, still confused as to what happened.
"jaemin?" she called for him, his head snapped her way before he slowly stood up.
"do you have anything to tell me?" he asked and y/n thought hard and careful if she had forgotten anything but came up with nothing so she timidly shook her head, hands picking at the border of her tshirt. the one that belonged to jaemin.
"did i forget anything?" she murmured, head low as she felt guilty for forgetting something that affected him so much.
"you have nothing to tell me?" he repeated, a scoff following and y/n looked back up at him, her brows furrowed.
"okay, let me ask you this," he said, hands resting on his hips as he looked up at the ceiling. mark watched, debating whether he should leave or not, but then choosing against it, someone had to try and do damage control.
"what is kyunhae to you?" at the new question y/n's brows furrowed even more.
"jaem what are you reaching at?" she asked, confusion eating her alive. jaemin's eyes sent daggers her way and she realized that she never wanted to have that gaze on her ever again.
"answer my question; what. is. kyunhae. to. you?" he asked again, emphasizing his words. the agitation clear in his voice as he ran a hand through his hair. mark stepped into the living room area.
"jaemin, chill," he tried to calm the younger and prevent him from saying anything he would regret later. this wasn't how he thought jaemin would handle things.
"why can't she just answer?!" jaemin exclaimed. the more she delayed her answer the more anger rose in him. her lips quivered seeing a jaemin she had never seen. he had never talked to her like that, with so much hartred.
"he's just a friend! that's all! why are you asking me that!" she answered, her voice a notch higher as she felt attacked. the way he talked to her made her feel defensive. she had never felt attacked by him and she was scared, she didn't know what happened, why he was acting like that. but no matter how naive she was she wasn't stupid.
she heard what people said about her, she knew things reached jaemin's ears in the past and she had done everything in her power to show him he was the only person she loved, only person she cared about. that he was her everything, her all. she had gifted him with a matching promise ring, to reassure him that she was his, always will be. she had told him not to listen to anyone, only her. she loved him, she really did. that's why she always told him when she would be out with kyunhae, she wanted him to know that whenever he needed it she will drop him and come running to jaemin. because jaemin was her priority. she had told him about meeting him today too but jaemin had forgotten it seems.
"then why the fuck do i hear different things?" he all but screamed and y/n stood frozen on her spot, scared. he had never raised his voice at her, much less in the process of accusing her of anything.
"i swear jaem," her voice came out in a trembled whisper as jaemin breathed heavily, "none of it is true, i swear," she pleaded, her eyes stinging in desperation. she needed him to believe her.
"you're lying," he shook his head, an empty chuckle leaving his lips as he threw his head back in disbelief and anger, "you've been lying for who knows how long," he muttered and y/n's brows furrowed, offended.
"i have never lied to you," she breathed out, before she remembered mark standing nearby. she took two quick steps towards him, taking a hold of his hand softly, "jaem, let's talk about it in your room, okay? let's solve this," she pleaded as she softly pulled his hand but jaemin snatched his arm away from her.
"no," he shook his head, "we're gonna do it here, so you can't lie to me anymore," his voice rose as he pointed around him and y/n's eyes blurred in frustration and hurt. how could he be like this.
"jaem what has gotten into you?" she asked, voice a tremble as the first tears threatened to spill, "please, i don't want to lose you, let's calm down and talk about this," she pleaded again.
"if you didn't want to lose me you should've thought about it before you cheated on me!"
y/n felt her heart break at his words, she felt like he had pushed her off of a building, she felt like the ground was snatched from under her feet and she was left falling into the void. the emotion swam in her expression.
"what's going on?"
mark's head snapped towards renjun and haechan's figures as they stepped out of their rooms and into the living room, eyes widened in alarm shifting from y/n to jaemin and then to mark.
mark shook his head. the three looked at y/n, her emotions set on her face and they knew right away they had the whole situation wrong. jaemin had it wrong.
she didn't look alarmed, caught in the act or guilty, she looked down right betrayed, hurt, and deceived.
"i did nothing of the sort, jaemin," her voice came out offended, disbelief swimming in her tone.
"jaem," haechan walked in front of his friend, partially blocking y/n's view, "that's enough, calm down," he muttered lowly, only jaemin hearing him. jaemin shook his head as he pushed haechan away softly.
"no, i need to know why," he insisted, "why would you do that to me? why not just tell me?" he asked again.
"i didn't do anything! i understand you heard it somewhere but hell, jaemin, at least ask me before you assume the worst!" she exclaimed her arms raising and dropping by her sides.
"and you're still fucking lying to me!" he raised his voice again in exasperation.
"i have no reason to lie to you! why are you saying all this to me? how could i ever do that to you, jaem?" her voice grew quiet at the end, just the thought of his implications finally sending the tears tumbling down her cheeks. jaemin scoffed.
"exactly, how could you do that to me?! all i ever did was treat you with care, i always put you first!" he countered again, the vein in his neck popping.
"jaem, you're not listening to me, please, just listen to me," she pleaded a sob escaping her lips as she stepped closer t him, her hands grasping his cheeks in desperation for him to look at her eyes, to believe her, "i love you, i would never ever do anything like that, please trust me, let them all be, just trust me."
but jaemin took a hold of her hands and let them fall in between them.
"what if it's someone close to me that told me," he scoffed stepping away.
"jaemin don't," renjun interfered, standing in front of y/n, blocking her completely from jaemin's eyes.
"just go home y/n," jaemin shook his head as his fingers ran trough his hair and he turned away.
"yah, you're exaggerating," mark called him out and jaemin threw him a glance.
"then why bring me here? why do this in front of everyone when you could've done that when you met me, why this whole thing?" she asked quietly. she didn't know what she felt, she didn't know who this person in front of her even was.
she understood jaemin, she really did. hearing so many things from so many people must've played with his head, she understood it. but fucking hell she wished he had talked to her about it, about all of it. she wished he didn't lash out on her, she wished he had just remembered who she was and how much she loved him. she was a person too, wasn't she? she could get hurt too, right?
when jaemin didn't answer she hurriedly turned around, making her way to the door. she fleetingly saw the youngest two silently standing in front of their door at the commotion but she paid no mind to that. all she wanted was to go away. y/n felt so lost, so betrayed; why didn't he believe her? why didn't he just ask her?
"y/n wait-" haechan tried to call back the girl but she was already out of the door, quickly walking to the elevator and pressing repeatedly on the button.
"fucking hell jaem, is this how you planned to handle it? really?" renjun scolded the black haired guy. jaemin sat on the couch, head in his hands and eyes brimming with tears. suspiciously all their phones dinged one after the other. chenle and jisung looking at each other in confusion as they were the only ones to notice.
mark ran out of the apartment slowly coming to a stop in beside of y/n. she kept her head down, tears dripping on the floor from the tip of her nose as she sniffled.
"y/n," mark took a hold of her elbow, "wait for a second, you can't leave alone. it's late, I'll take you home, hmm?" he tried to persuade her softly, careful not to be too loud. but she shook her head.
"thank you, but i need to be alone," she whispered, her shoulder shaking as she took in a harsh breath. mark's eyes softened.
"let me call you an uber, at least?" he offered again, hand caressing her hair in affection but she shook her head again.
"I'll be okay," she muttered as the doors to the elevator dinged and opened. y/n took a step forward before coming to a stop when another pair of shoes came into her view, she stepped aside muttering a sorry.
"oh, y/n..?" jeno's voice was surprised, his phone held on his hand and his eyes wide. he looked at mark, who held the most disappointed look on his face, brows furrowed. jeno looked back at y/n in confusion.
she looked up at his voice and the sight of her wet cheeks, red nose and swollen eyes sent an alarm to jeno. his eyes widened as he stammered.
"fuck, y/n, I'm so sorry- i didn't know-" jeno was at a loss of words as realization dawned on y/n and she smiled bitterly.
"it's okay," she simply said as she walked into the elevator and waited for the doors to close.
-
jaemin looked up as mark and jeno walked into the apartment, just at the same time as jisung and chenle stumbled out of their rooms, phone grasping in their hands.
"hyung, you gotta see this," chenle shoved his phone into jaemin's face. the latter took in a deep breath, taking the phone from the younger.
"jaem," jeno muttered, eyes remorseful, "i'm so sorry," he solemnly muttered out, and jaemin furrowed his brows in confusion before looking at the screen of chenle's phone.
under the instagram picture, written in bold letters, the words "SHE SAID YES" and the small line underneath "thank you y/n for helping me make it even more memorable" were mocking him. and as jaemin ran his fingers through his hair for the nth time that evening and gripped his roots in a vice like grip, his eyes scanned the picture. the picture of kyunhee and who he assumed was his fiancé now. jaemin felt like the biggest idiot in the planet.
-
so as y/n helped kyunhee with the preparations of his engagement party with the biggest smile she could muster up, the happiness she painted on didn't quite reach her eyes. jaemin had tried again and again to contact her but y/n made it a point to ignore all his texts and all his calls, only using her phone when extremely needed.
she helped her dear friend through the whole process, never missing a beat to tell him and the lucky girl how proud she was of them both.
kyunhee felt guilty taking her help, so much so that y/n had screamed at him to not give her the pity look. she had explained that she needed the distraction and after much thought he let her handle whatever she wanted.
he told himself if he ever came face to face with jaemin he would've made him taste his fist, but he knew they would resolve their misunderstanding. of course they would, they loved each other infinitly after all.
y/n was surprised when two days after the break up her mother came knocking on her door. at first she had thought jaemin had called her and as soon as she was about to send her mother away, the older woman had told, "i knew something wasn't right, i could feel it." and so y/n had her dearest mother at her apartment, making sure she got the energy she needed and she ate well.
jaemin on the other hand was lost. completely lost. he beat himself up for how he had talked to y/n, he scolded himself for not having talked it out. he regretted not listening to her when she was asking for him to listen.
he tried calling her a thousand times. he tried texting her from the boys' phones and every time he would let a dry laugh out when she would reply "tell jaem i don't want to speak." he knew his girl knew him too well and he felt worse every time because how did he let go of her? what an idiot.
so it was with a heavy heart and jaw clenched in embarrassment that jaemin was standing in front of a building, waiting for the one he misunderstood. truth be told, he was nervous, for what he still didn't know but he had a hunch.
"jaemin," a voice pulled him out of his thoughts and jaemin turned to his right to come face to face with a poker face kyunhee. he cleared his voice, holding out his hand for a handshake.
"hey, i hope i didn't mess up your schedule, i can only imagine how busy you are," jaemin smiled a tight lipped smile. kyunhee stared at him for a second before deciding to be cooperative for y/n's sake. he grasped jaemin's hand and gave it a firm shake before letting go.
"you technically did," he sighed, jaemin's brows furrowed, a confused sound leaving his lips, "mess up my schedule. i had an appointment i had to cancel," kyunhee said, arms crossing over his chest. jaemin blinked for a few seconds before muttering a soft sorry in embarrassment. silence fell upon the two guys. kyunhee's eyes stayed put on jaemin's wavering ones. he could practically see the wheels turning in the black haired guy.
"what the hell are you guys doing?" kyunhee sighed then. jaemin's eyes snapped on him, eyes wide in alarm.
"i-i'm very sorry for misunderstanding your intentions. i really am," jaemin blabbed, kyunhee rolled his eyes.
"why are you apologizing to me when the person you should apologize to is somewhere else?" kyunhee asked as a matter of fact.
"she doesn't want to talk to me," jaemin whispered, eyes looking away and jaw clenching. kyunhee scoffed catching jaemin's attention again.
"yeah no shit she doesn't," the newly engaged one spat out and jaemin let out a humorless snicker, head nodding.
"you acted like a total dick to her, i don't even know how she hasn't blocked you yet," kyunhee shot again and jaemin listened, for he knew he deserved it. the former's eyes softened for a second at jaemin's obvious miserable eyes, before hardening again.
"oi, dickhead," he called jaemin, foot kicking at his shin, jaemin ducked to hold his shin out of instinct, eyes snapping up in despair.
"oi! what was that for?" he called.
"i won't tell you to go to her place and beg for forgiveness, because quite frankly, that's not going to work," kyunhee deadpanned and jaemin nodded, hanging to his every word.
"give her time, jaemin, she's hurt," he continued.
jaemin stared at the floor at his feet as he thought. guilt enveloping him in its arms as usual these days. he took a deep breath again and looked up at his girlfriend's friend, he offered a small smile.
"thank you, really," jaemin muttered, genuine gratefulness in his voice, "for holding her up, i know it should've been me but i'm glad she has a friend like you, i'm really sorry again."
"it's okay, don't worry about it. just think about what kind of pose you need to hold when you're begging on your knees for her forgiveness," kyunhee bit back in a lighter tone, feeling weird about all the formality. jaemin snorted the real smile in a while, grateful kyunhee got rid of the heavy serious air around them.
"congratulations on your engagement, by the way," jaemin clapped the side of kyunhee's arm and the latter thanked him, before a thought hit him and his eyes squinted as he looked at jaemin.
"uhhh why are you looking at me like that?" the black haired one asked, an unsure tone to his voice.
"you know what? why don't you..."
-
"the place looks so pretty!" y/n turned to her mother with a proud smile as the older woman looked around the engagement party venue with sparkling eyes, "you did a great job, love," she turned to y/n and lovingly caressed her face.
"thank you, mom," y/n giggled, her hand grasping her mom's as they made their way through the crowd.
the venue was decorated in hues of white and lilacs, the stage at the front of it was decorated with fresh flowers and thin branches giving it a very fresh look.
her eyes lit up when she saw her dear friend and his fiancé in the distance.
"let's go say hi to kyunhee," she told her mother as they made their way towards the couple.
-
it was thirty minutes later, when y/n was enjoying her time with a few friends and their families that the murmurs started.
at first y/n didn't pay any attention to it because who cares if a handsome guy was at the party, she was already taken. well. not anymore, but that didn't change the fact that her heart lay where jaemin was.
so imagine her surprise when she turned around to look around the place and her eyes fell on none other than the handsome guy everyone was talking about. na jaemin.
as soon as their eyes met y/n's head snapped towards kyunhee a few meters away, talking to another guest, and the piece of shit had the audacity to smile at her and throw a wink before returning his eyes to the guest.
jaemin slowly came to a stop beside her, back as straight as a wooden plank, shoulders tense. he threw a tight lipped smile around the few people surrounding him as he greeted them.
"jaemin dear?" y/n's mother's eyes sparked up in adoration and y/n smiled softly at the scene as her mom engulfed a chuckling jaemin in her arms, hands grasping his face softly as she gushed over him.
"how long it has been, love, how are you?" she asked and jaemin chuckled before patting her back and stood back up straight to look at her.
"too long, sorry i couldn't come to say hi sooner, i was stuck with all the assignments i pushed back," he apologized, ever the gentleman and y/n's eyes stung a bit as she blinked.
"ahh you study so well, but don't neglect your health," she smiled again as she hugged him tighter and jaemin nodded hugging her back. what he didn't expect was the words the older woman whispered in his ear as she pulled away.
"make things right, love, fight for each other," and she gave him the most loving smile as she said something about enjoying the evening and walked to a group of ladies.
jaemin's eyes fell on y/n and she looked away as jaemin stepped up beside her as she pulled away from the small group, saying something about getting a glass of prosecco.
she threw him a side glance as she stopped at the table.
"why are you following me," at the sound of her voice jaemin let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. his hand twitched to hold hers.
"i wanted some prosecco," he muttered and a small smile pulled at his lips when she blushed in embarrassment before nodding and moving away with the glass in her hand, jaemin doing the same. the two stood at the side in silence.
"y/n," jaemin called after a while and y/n hummed, her eyes trained to the live band, "i'm very sorry," he whispered. y/n stopped in the middle of taking a sip before detaching the glass from her lips.
"i don't want to talk about it, jaem," she muttered before taking the sip, finishing the content in the flute all in one go. jaemin's hand rested against the back of her waist in reflex.
"slow, you're gonna get dizzy," he muttered and y/n could hear the worry in his tone, and she hated it because how could he sound like that after all he had said.
there were a few things that put jaemin's worry at rest. that assured him that y/n was still is girl. he felt a small smile tug at his lips when she called him by his nickname, when she didn't push away his hand on her waist, his chest puffed out, and when she nodded at his words of worry he felt himself relax a bit.
"you're beautiful," he muttered loud enough for only y/n to hear as he took a sip of his prosecco, eyes set on her as she turned around with narrowed eyes, only to blush like crazy when her eyes met his. jaemin's eyes held an intimacy she couldn't hold right now. he let out a deep chuckle when her chest and neck set up in flames.
they stood there side by side as they watched the many couples dancing. jaemin's eyes would settle on her every few seconds, so much so that she could feel it every time.
"what are you two doing?" y/n's mother's voice made the couple's head snap to the side. y/n made sure a soft smile settled on her lips as her mother's friends followed her.
"who's this, y/n?" one of them asked, curious eyes settled onto jaemin, the latter giving a polite smile and a bow as he muttered his hellos. before y/n could answer, her mother chimed in.
"oh! this is jaemin, i told you about him! he's my daughter's boyfriend, such a gem, let me tell you. sweetest boy i ever met," she gushed, and y/n's panic stricken eyes met jaemin's smiling ones. her eyes narrowed at his pleased look.
"oh my, he's so gorgeous! you're absolutely stunning, dear!" one of the women smiled as she caressed his cheek and jaemin chuckled, muttering a thank you.
"well, what are you two doing here? go for a dance!" y/n's mother ushered as she pushed them to the clearing, where other couples were dancing.
y/n made to protest and push back but her words got swallowed up by the encouraging giggling of the older women as they stumbled upon the floor.
y/n looked at jaemin as he settled his prosecco flute on the tray of a passing waiter.
a few minutes later the two found themselves slowly swaying to the music. one of y/n's hands in jaemin's as his other hand rested against the middle of her back. his thumb brushed slowly in a comforting manner, so much so that y/n found herself stopping from leaning her head on his shoulder out of instict.
jaemin's eyes stayed on her features as hers looked anywhere but him. his heart hurt that she didn't want to even look at him, but he also understood. he had hurt her deeply, after all.
"y/n," he called, voice loud enough only for her to hear. she hummed in acknowledgment, "look at me," he tapped his thumb against her back and she reluctantly looked up at him.
"i'm sorry," he squeezed her hand, and she remained silent. she didn't know what to say. what do you say to sorry when you can't say it's okay? do you ignore it? do you say i heard you? do you just nod? what do you do?
people say sorry and expect everything to be fine, they say sorry when they know the answer is going to be it's okay. but, to y/n it wasn't okay, it couldn't be okay. she didn't know if it would be anytime soon or anything. all she knew was that she was hurt, extremely hurt. so she couldn't say it's okay.
she loved jaemin tremendously. so much so it was scary. she loved him so much her chest hurt sometimes, her lungs felt like giving out and her heart felt like squeezing the life out of it. it was painful how much she actually loved him. she felt like crying if she didn't ignore how much she actually loved him.
not because it was unhealthy, but because she knew she would give it all up for him. she couldn't dwell too much on the love she harbored for him, she just had to live with the knowledge that she loved him a lot. she knew if she tried to think about how much she loved him she would cry so much it would worry him. and she didn't know how she could ever explain that.
because how do you explain to someone you love them so much you want to cry because your heart hurts, it hurts so much because even your heart is too small to contain that much love. because you love everything about them, all of it. and you know how cheesy it is when people list out all the reasons why they love someone but your love is different; you can't pin point what exactly you love, you can't pin point what makes you happy about them, and you can't bring yourself to just find one physical attribute you love about them because that would be a lie, because that's not why you love them, and you can't say personality because as much as that's the closest thing as to why you love them, it's not quite there yet.
you just love them. the essence of what and who they are, with all their flaws and imperfections and all things perfect, it's just them entirely. it's their ability to smile when they're hurting, it's the way they make mistakes and they learn, the way they just are. and you can't explain it so you just accept it that when someone asks why you love them you'll just have to say a measly i love everything about them, and as cute as that sounds it's so basic and so underwhelming to what you actually feel but that's all that you're able to say.
so y/n stared at jaemin's eyes and her eyes stung and moistened up because she could feel her heart hurting, because she let herself actually feel how much she loved him. yes, he hurt her. yes, she was in pain. but the pain she felt from loving him was so much greater and so much more overwhelming.
jaemin was quick to softly push his hand on her back and encourage her to rest her head on his shoulder, knowing how much she hated crying in public. she gladly took the support, resting her forehead on his shoulder. he hushed her as his lips pressed against her hair.
"you hurt me," she said, and jaemin rested her hand clasped in his on his other shoulder, fingers squeezing hers, arm tightening around her back.
"i know, i'm so sorry, really, i'm so sorry, princess," he muttered, lips pressed to her hair.
"i felt like i lost everything," she started, voice trembling as she forced herself to not cry, "everything we build up, everything we went through, i felt like i lost all of it. i tried to care so much for you, i tried to show you how much i loved so hard, but i-" her voice choked, "-i felt like i lost it all, and you wouldn't even listen to me. i was so alone, i felt so alone," she continued, and jaemin's eyes stung as he listened to her, because that was all she needed; for him to listen to her.
he brought her hands behind his neck as he grasped her face in his hands and pulled her back to look her in the eyes. he sent her a soft smile as his thumbs caressed her cheeks.
"i'm so sorry i made you feel like that. i'm an absolute asshole,-" "yes you are," he chuckled as she interrupted him, "i will make it up to you. i swear, i will, please accept my apologies."
his lips downturned as she shook her head before his brows furrowed in confusion when she rested her head back on his shoulder and crossed her fingers at the back of his neck.
"make it up to me and maybe i will," she spoke softly and jaemin smiled fondly as he rest one arm around her waist and the other rose up to caress her head lovingly, and y/n's eyes closed at the action, a smile pulling at her lips.
"deal," he chuckled, before he smiled teasingly, "i'm surprised you didn't cry, you crybaby," he teased and she mutter a fuck you.
"why would i cry," she scoffed and jaemin laughed at her words.
after a beat of silence, "i read somewhere if you clench your butthole right when you're about to cry it stops the waterworks, guess it works."
and jaemin laughed loudly as she shook in his arms from her own laughter.
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