#wake up and not be miserable
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Ooh getting the weird achey chest pain you get when you're stressed
#i have work to do but i keep having really painful dizzying migraines so i cant and the last day to do like 2 weeks worth of work is today#(Thursday)#fjfnfndjfhsj#i want to cry but i cant because i gotta work#i want to just curl up and do nothing#look my only thing in life is i want to be happy#its like...my only goal in life#wake up and not be miserable#that is all#and i try to prioritize that...yet school literally makes it impossible#i think theres alot of factors that make that the way it is and 1 is probably my undiagnosed adhd and autism#my sister said it best as to why that makes school hard#“they sent me into battle with only a fork and a butter knife and expect me to win yet wont give me any better weapons#...because like...she actually has been properly dignosed with adhd...and has an IEP#and guess what#NO TEACHER LISTEN TO IT#(im like 60 percent positive you can take legal action (thats what my career class said) 030 not saying i will but i possibly could)#and im getting off topic and ill rant on my side blog...#so uhhhh...#stay tuned 👉😎👉 my dudes
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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one
#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts#course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism#being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn#i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus#cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself#into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation#but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy#and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system#you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao#yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic#aromanticism#aro positivity#aroace#arospec#sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon#you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better#life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not#i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao
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cold comfort
#thistle#thistle dungeon meshi#delgal#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#his heart beats and he still breathes but no matter what you do he won't wake up.#i'm always wondering how thistle would self-soothe when he'd get lonely and miserable and afraid past the point he could bottle up#my art
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guys being dudes (fan src: 1, 2)
#lando's like my day isn't complete until i've objectified my younger teammate for the socials. Amen 🙏#lando norris#oscar piastri#landoscar#*#*comp#this literally took 5 tries to post because t*mblr did not appreciate the out-thereness of lando's kangaroo penguin rat 😔#anyway bros pray for me i alr know i'm going to wake up in miserable amounts of pain tomorrow...#surely at mclaren f1 team won't ruin my morning further 🤠
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the grief has been unbearable since your spouse passed away last year, and you're not sure if you'll ever be happy again.
it's not hard to notice how much you've changed; what used to be the brightest eyes, seemingly never short of life and warmth, are now just two black voids. there's no trace of your signature spark, no mischievous glint. all that remains is the pain you've been hiding, the weight of it crushing your heart down into pieces, your sadness bare for everyone to see. you're more closed off, more colder, and your team—ghost especially—are concerned.
there's never a moment he doesn't see you without the ring on your finger, the way you stare down at it and press soft pecks on the warm metal when you think no one's paying attention. he sees the stoic look on your face soften when you're looking at your phone, swiping through old photos before it twists into one of sorrow.
ghost's not one to love. he cares for people, sure, risks his life for his members on the field and puts everyone before himself, but he hasn't experienced something like that; he doesn't know what it feels like to be doted on and cherished so deeply. he's never really felt loved and didn't see many great examples of it growing up, so he doesn't know how to process that feeling. he doesn't even know if he'll ever get to feel it.
but when he looks at you, his heart throbs. it beats and pulses fiercely in his chest in an attempt to be heard, to finally be felt instead of constantly being ignored.
ghost tries so hard to suppress it, to get rid of that pang in his chest when he thinks about you. he tries to stomp on that soft, pretty feeling that always creeps up on him in his quietest moments, but he just can't. not when it expands so nicely until his whole body feels warm, enveloping him in a tenderness he has never known before. he wants to feel that all the time, he thinks. he wants to feel that for you.
he wants you. he wants to be someone you can depend on more than a lieutenant, someone you can confidently place all of your burdens on, someone you can let into your life. he wants to mean something more than a workmate to you.
it's just unlucky that you don't feel the same. you spill your inner turmoil to him one night over a few drinks, quietly recalling every habit, every stupid inside joke, and every detail about your spouse until your voice trembles and your knuckles go white gripping your glass. you share your pain, and all simon can hear is the soft murmur of your voice. all he can see is the tired look on your face that somehow makes you look all the more beautiful to him. all he can feel is the way his heart cracks in his chest, hard and unforgiving, and he mentally ridicules himself.
of course, the one time that he feels something other than pain and numbness, it's for someone who cannot return his feelings. it only makes sense; the universe has never felt an ounce of sympathy for him, so he doesn't know why he thought it would be different this time. he doesn't know why he continues to hope that maybe one day he can find one good thing and keep it for himself.
as your voice rings out in his ear, recalling another fond memory, he bitterly wonders if this is what love is. if it's something that sinks its nails so deep into his heart the poor thing might explode. if it's a feeling that leaves him more achingly empty than anything he's ever felt. if it's a force that clouds his mind with thoughts of holding you and peppering kisses on your head until you both fall into a fit of giggles, even though he can't have you.
he's beginning to realise that the great things he's heard and seen about it are just a cover-up for the true agony that entails falling so deeply for another person because that pretty feeling from before is nowhere to be found; all that remains is a bone-deep ache that he knows he'll be feeling for a long time.
you thank him for listening as if he's not weak for you, as if he wouldn't do this all over again just to spend time with you, to get close without ever treading on your boundaries because he can't lose you too.
the heaviness on his chest chokes him every day, and all he can do is maintain a strong front, give you a shoulder to cry on, and become even more distant from himself.
although he gives the illusion of being strong, he's anything but; his feelings for you will just be another secret for him to take to the grave.
#i love writing sad simon#me waking up every day wondering how i can write this man to be more miserable#this isn't as angsty or long as i wanted it to be but whatever#ghost#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#rainwrites 𐙚
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To anyone struggling with their mental health this holiday season: read Les miserables by Victor Hugo
it won't help, but at least then you'll know about the sewers
#SPOILERS IN THE TAGS#it will make it worse x#you'll wake up thinking about mother fuckers called Courfeyrac and Grantaire and other weird shit like that#his smile was not ended when the report sounded#he did not finish a second bullet from the same marksman stopped him short this time he fell face downward on the pavement and moved no more#this grand little soul had taken its flight#it strikes me that I know that girl#he might be your brother. he is#these verses murmured in a low tone in the dusk by Jehan Prouvaire who as we have said was a gentle poet#rivulets of blood flowed beneath him. his aged head - pale and sad - seemed to be gazing at the sky#they recognised the voice of Prouvaire. a flash passed a report rang out. silence fell again. “they have killed him” exclaimed combeferre#les miserables#les mis#victor hugo#les misposting#grantaire#enjolras#courfeyrac#enjoltaire#sobbing
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As far as I care, he's only the worst Wolverine because he's not supposed to end up happy and at home at the end of the story
#logan the worst wolverine#let him embrace the title. let him reform the title the same way bucky did for the winter soldier#let logan keep the title#let wade use the title as bragging rights “Yeah! He's the worst! isn't it great”#wolverine is supposed to be Miserable. Heartbroken. Adrift. Lost.#not waking up at sunrise to make his roommate coffee#not walking their dog#not making fun of his roomate with their other roommate who is blind#wolverine isn't supposed to have a family. and that's why he's the Worst#am i onto something#i feel like I'm falling short#Deadpool and Wolverine#deadpool#wade wilson#wolverine#logan howlett#poolverine#deadpool 3#deadclaws#deadpool 2024#need Loki to validate em saying “🤨 yes you ARE the worst wolverine. the chance to choose happiness and family was presented to you#and you took it. the wolverine is not so courageous. until you.“#the problem with this logan's self loathing is he took that title to mean “worst of the wolverine heroes”#NO KITTY. worst of the wolverines! worst of the miserable playboy heartbreaker male gaze adamantium grafted survivors wolverines!#because you you comic accurate costume king. you went the complete opposite direction
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the ordeal of waking up
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#gawzdrawz#how tired do you think this guy is#literally the strongest man ever#it has to be like. terrifying#right ?#he gets so much sleep against his will#doing so much training and exertion#even though his brain and body must be absolutely miserable#not to mention it doesnt even seem like he notices when he falls asleep#forced to trust someone will wake him up#and that when he does he'll be in the same place
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Priorities
#and then he didn’t#james fitzjames#this is supposed to be his berth but i didn’t care enough to do the proper research to make it look exactly right#in my mind this is the night before sir john’s funeral#or perhaps the night after#but anyway— this is directly after le vesconte and fitzjames held an Irish Wake for sir john (meaning they both got thoroughly drunk)#and then after they both stumble to their respective berths#fitzjames thinks to himself (rather hazily) ‘sir john loved a good prayer— he would want me to pray for him’#but then this is all he can come up with#and then he falls asleep in his boots#and then feels especially miserable for the funeral the next day#as is right and proper#amc the terror#my drawings#the terror#the terror fanart#let’s be honest this was just an excuse to draw fitzjames kneeling
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listening to a song very distinctly attached to a very bad period of your life and immediately having the mental equivalent of 10,000,000 lightning bolts hitting you at once
#like i don’t just mean a designated sad song i mean a song you ONLY listened to in this ONE period#like i found poor madeline by daffo while studying for my very last econ exam and i listened to it on loop#in between ringing my mum begging off the course and sobbing saying i was gonna fail and it was all gonna be for nothing#like it was such a helpless stressful out of control MISERABLE time for me#but bc it was caused by an exam the MOMENT i sat the exam those feelings lifted#and i just. haven’t listened to the song since. not once#UNTIL NOW. AND OMG. LET ME TELL YOU OHOOOUH#NOT READY TO GIVE HERSELF OVER TO LIFE WHEN IT’S WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND SUFFER OR DIE!!!! POOR MADELINE!!!
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Human Valdemar has to sleep 😔😔😔
I like to think they absolutely hate it - because they get less time at the hospital grgrgr how dare this human body hold them back !! >:(( I'm pretty sure they get like 4 hours of sleep every night and on their day off they just... take it to sleep and nothing else.
#I think they absolutely despise feeling tired#and the feeling of waking up too ; like they instantly want to be productive#my art#the arcana game#the arcana#I made them look so miserable jesus christ *sob*#my artstyle#quaestor valdemar#art#digital art#keeping up with the eepy val agenda no matter what#the arcana valdemar#fanart#artists on tumblr#human valdemar#valdemart#valdemar the arcana#modern au#my head and teeth hurt I feel nauseous and I am stressed and ready to kill someone
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OH I DIDNT TELL YALL i got hired (full time!!) and i start at the end of this month so hopefully that'll help me pull myself together and get on a good schedule so i can function better and actually get my stuff done and open commissions again
#having a job just helps me stay productive and the consistency of my schedule will hopefully fix me lol#CANNOT keep going to bed at 4 am and waking up at 1 pm im miserable and cant get anything done
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yea sooooo I may have or may have not watched and instantly rewatched all kuro musicals in existence in a spawn of one week and now have roughly 40 screenshots to redraw from
I think I might be insane or something
#it's all sebaciel of course#god I wish I could erase my memory and rewatch the most beautiful death and tango on the campania#the latter I watched like 3 times but death I found a long long while ago so now it must've been my tenth or so rewatch#and I'm still so not normal about the final song and overall parallels between sebaciels and alan x eric i'm fijsdfdjfo#and sebastian is so dumb he is sO BLIIIINDDDD IT'S CRAZY#“me? going against my nature and principles over some tiny human? I could neve-” yeah bro mhm talk about it after the gwa and rciel reveal#also fellas is it gay to *pretend* to try to wake up your master just so you can have an excuse to carry him?#and then sing about how every night you fantasize about kissing him and holding him?#is it fellas??#and the whole scene of alan's death when in his memories he and eric VERY PLATONICALY look at falling petals and he goes#“ah so beautiful it looks like snowfall :)”#and fucking moments later sebastian kills eric the souls are flying everywhere just so ciel could go#“ah so beautiful it looks like snowfall :|”#I'm going fucking insaine I hate it here every time is like the first#"some things are simply meant to be beautiful” proceeds to STARE AT CIEL FOR A GOD DAMN ETERNITY#I can't I literally can't I'm miserable#sebaciel#was so busy with my rant I even forgot to include the tag at first oh my god
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Oh hey what about a groundhogs day event where the hero has to relive their traumatic “One Bad Day”-esque backstory but it’s another hero they either know really well and the only way to break the loop is letting that horrible event happen
Bc I’m basic my first thought was “Oh, this would absolutely tear up anyone having to walk down crime alley knowing way too well what’s about to happen”
But I’m also obsessed with my blorbo so my other thought was “Omg lol, imagine if one of the adult heroes ended up in Billy’s body just before his parents left to go die on their dig and think maybe they can save their co-worker the tragedy he faced so young only for every attempt they succeed at getting them to stay keep the loop going and they realize they have to let them go and doom this kid all over again. Haha, extra points if the loop actually lasts from that point to them actually dying so they wake up the next day thinking they failed again only for it to be tomorrow and suddenly Uncle E gets the call that his brother and sister in law are dead and then whoever is in Billy’s body is getting thrown out with a suitcase realizing maybe the nightmare is going to last longer.”
And I just had to laugh bc goddamn my brain cant stop with angst
#‘DC stop making Billy miserable’ I say into the mic#‘I can make it worse’ says my brain ready to swing at the orphan with a sledge hammer#Groundhog Day but body swap basically#even funnier if they DONT know their fellow hero but still realizes the warning flags and tries to save them only to keep waking up#that tragedy of knowing what’s going to happen to someone you care about but the only way to escape is to let it happen#also just the jarring shift back to childhood for a lot of these heroes#other ideas being stuff like one Robin dealing with Dicks One Bad Day doing all they can to save his parents#someone dealing with the day Clark lost his parents/Pa specifically as his Bad Day bc he was too baby for the whole Krypton thing#maybe even a villain/antagonist trying to stop their hero from existing but just ending up sympathetic#then when the day is over they are through a whole character arc and don’t even want to fight anymore bc ‘I am so sorry for your loss’#vice versa too since villains have their Bad Days too#if this has been done for DC please tell me so I can go feral over this idea#dc#billy batson#shazam#batman#fanfic inspo#fanfic ideas#groundhog day#dc comics
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informing everyone that this is on my dorm rooms ceiling, right above my bed (im cooked)
#shitpost#this is the first thing i see when i wake up😭#honestly i didnt think this through but whatever#javert#les mis#les miserables
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sobbing for checo rn
#BABE WAKE UP CHECO DOESN’T LOOK MISERABLE ANYMORE#this season has been hell for him#sergio checo pérez#sergio perez#checo perez#mexico gp 2024
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