#wake up and not be miserable
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fangomango · 1 year ago
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Ooh getting the weird achey chest pain you get when you're stressed
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knifearo · 1 year ago
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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one
#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts#course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism#being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn#i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus#cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself#into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation#but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy#and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system#you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao#yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic#aromanticism#aro positivity#aroace#arospec#sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon#you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better#life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not#i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao
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flawlessflesh · 4 months ago
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cold comfort
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mecachrome · 4 months ago
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guys being dudes (fan src: 1, 2)
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simonbrain · 1 month ago
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the grief has been unbearable since your spouse passed away last year, and you're not sure if you'll ever be happy again.
it's not hard to notice how much you've changed; what used to be the brightest eyes, seemingly never short of life and warmth, are now just two black voids. there's no trace of your signature spark, no mischievous glint. all that remains is the pain you've been hiding, the weight of it crushing your heart down into pieces, your sadness bare for everyone to see. you're more closed off, more colder, and your team—ghost especially—are concerned.
there's never a moment he doesn't see you without the ring on your finger, the way you stare down at it and press soft pecks on the warm metal when you think no one's paying attention. he sees the stoic look on your face soften when you're looking at your phone, swiping through old photos before it twists into one of sorrow.
ghost's not one to love. he cares for people, sure, risks his life for his members on the field and puts everyone before himself, but he hasn't experienced something like that; he doesn't know what it feels like to be doted on and cherished so deeply. he's never really felt loved and didn't see many great examples of it growing up, so he doesn't know how to process that feeling. he doesn't even know if he'll ever get to feel it.
but when he looks at you, his heart throbs. it beats and pulses fiercely in his chest in an attempt to be heard, to finally be felt instead of constantly being ignored.
ghost tries so hard to suppress it, to get rid of that pang in his chest when he thinks about you. he tries to stomp on that soft, pretty feeling that always creeps up on him in his quietest moments, but he just can't. not when it expands so nicely until his whole body feels warm, enveloping him in a tenderness he has never known before. he wants to feel that all the time, he thinks. he wants to feel that for you.
he wants you. he wants to be someone you can depend on more than a lieutenant, someone you can confidently place all of your burdens on, someone you can let into your life. he wants to mean something more than a workmate to you.
it's just unlucky that you don't feel the same. you spill your inner turmoil to him one night over a few drinks, quietly recalling every habit, every stupid inside joke, and every detail about your spouse until your voice trembles and your knuckles go white gripping your glass. you share your pain, and all simon can hear is the soft murmur of your voice. all he can see is the tired look on your face that somehow makes you look all the more beautiful to him. all he can feel is the way his heart cracks in his chest, hard and unforgiving, and he mentally ridicules himself.
of course, the one time that he feels something other than pain and numbness, it's for someone who cannot return his feelings. it only makes sense; the universe has never felt an ounce of sympathy for him, so he doesn't know why he thought it would be different this time. he doesn't know why he continues to hope that maybe one day he can find one good thing and keep it for himself.
as your voice rings out in his ear, recalling another fond memory, he bitterly wonders if this is what love is. if it's something that sinks its nails so deep into his heart the poor thing might explode. if it's a feeling that leaves him more achingly empty than anything he's ever felt. if it's a force that clouds his mind with thoughts of holding you and peppering kisses on your head until you both fall into a fit of giggles, even though he can't have you.
he's beginning to realise that the great things he's heard and seen about it are just a cover-up for the true agony that entails falling so deeply for another person because that pretty feeling from before is nowhere to be found; all that remains is a bone-deep ache that he knows he'll be feeling for a long time.
you thank him for listening as if he's not weak for you, as if he wouldn't do this all over again just to spend time with you, to get close without ever treading on your boundaries because he can't lose you too.
the heaviness on his chest chokes him every day, and all he can do is maintain a strong front, give you a shoulder to cry on, and become even more distant from himself.
although he gives the illusion of being strong, he's anything but; his feelings for you will just be another secret for him to take to the grave.
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autumnalmess · 11 months ago
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To anyone struggling with their mental health this holiday season: read Les miserables by Victor Hugo
it won't help, but at least then you'll know about the sewers
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brainrotcharacters · 3 months ago
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As far as I care, he's only the worst Wolverine because he's not supposed to end up happy and at home at the end of the story
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bloodiegawz · 1 year ago
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the ordeal of waking up
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cockroachesunite · 7 months ago
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Priorities
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hella1975 · 2 months ago
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listening to a song very distinctly attached to a very bad period of your life and immediately having the mental equivalent of 10,000,000 lightning bolts hitting you at once
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soullessseraphim · 4 months ago
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Human Valdemar has to sleep 😔😔😔
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I like to think they absolutely hate it - because they get less time at the hospital grgrgr how dare this human body hold them back !! >:(( I'm pretty sure they get like 4 hours of sleep every night and on their day off they just... take it to sleep and nothing else.
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fawfulydoo · 8 months ago
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OH I DIDNT TELL YALL i got hired (full time!!) and i start at the end of this month so hopefully that'll help me pull myself together and get on a good schedule so i can function better and actually get my stuff done and open commissions again
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icantdothistodaybruh · 10 months ago
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yea sooooo I may have or may have not watched and instantly rewatched all kuro musicals in existence in a spawn of one week and now have roughly 40 screenshots to redraw from
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I think I might be insane or something
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im-not-buying-it-ether · 4 months ago
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Oh hey what about a groundhogs day event where the hero has to relive their traumatic “One Bad Day”-esque backstory but it’s another hero they either know really well and the only way to break the loop is letting that horrible event happen
Bc I’m basic my first thought was “Oh, this would absolutely tear up anyone having to walk down crime alley knowing way too well what’s about to happen”
But I’m also obsessed with my blorbo so my other thought was “Omg lol, imagine if one of the adult heroes ended up in Billy’s body just before his parents left to go die on their dig and think maybe they can save their co-worker the tragedy he faced so young only for every attempt they succeed at getting them to stay keep the loop going and they realize they have to let them go and doom this kid all over again. Haha, extra points if the loop actually lasts from that point to them actually dying so they wake up the next day thinking they failed again only for it to be tomorrow and suddenly Uncle E gets the call that his brother and sister in law are dead and then whoever is in Billy’s body is getting thrown out with a suitcase realizing maybe the nightmare is going to last longer.”
And I just had to laugh bc goddamn my brain cant stop with angst
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mothtaire · 7 months ago
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informing everyone that this is on my dorm rooms ceiling, right above my bed (im cooked)
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formulawolff · 17 days ago
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sobbing for checo rn
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