#wake the fuck up england
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pernillecfcw · 4 months ago
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It’s not coming home 💀😒
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6ebe · 4 months ago
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france are literally worse than england
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sohardlovingyou · 25 days ago
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This person was obviously trying to be funny so I'm not mad or anything (I chuckled a little), but it truly got me thinking again about how insane John's death must have been, like wtf man, what do you mean he was MURDERED?
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randomnameless · 4 months ago
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@awayfromdiscourse replied to your post “Supporting England just because their euro is as,...”:
I like they beat us, won't have to listen to Dutch nationalistic bullshit anymore
​Don't worry, football fans are the same everywhere.
I'm glad not to be in England* right now to hear about how great the team is, and how the country deserves to win a cup bcs they play the best football in the world - everyone knows the premier league! - and the last one was in 1966, aka, before we walked on the Moon.
*granted it's half a joke, the most obnoxious fans and supporters of the English team I've ever met were, not surprisingly, not living in england themselves lol
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heysatanitsyourgirl · 1 year ago
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So I’m like not great with time?? All my days blend together in a big blob I’m not great at processing it which is why I’m terrible at things like cleaning my room and also eating.
Unfortunately I’m also incredibly arachnophobic like a tiny money spider has me launched into a panic attack as I uncontrollably attack my own skin.
And unfortunately I still live with my parents. How this all ties together? Don’t worry I’m getting there.
Anyways this massive fuck off thing was sat down on my bedroom floor, right next to me. For what could have been forever I was sat curling my hair for tomorrow feeling great. Who knows how long this massive (and I mean that giant spider bug thing from goblet of fire looking ass thing) is just right by me. That’s what scares me the most cuz idk how fucking long it’s been there. And it’s standing right above a hole in my fucking carpet so it could have come from the fucking floor boards I might have a GIANT SPIDER INFESTATION.
Not the point anyways I burn my hand on my curler promptly place it down and get the FUCK out. Knowing I’ll have to wake my very unsupportive parents up at fucking midnight on a Sunday evening.
Last time I had a panic attack like this over a spider (that wasn’t even half this fuckers size) my mum yelled at me for disrupting the whole family and being selfish, so I did my best to compose myself (I couldn’t) and not scream this time or attack myself (vaguely achieved) told them it was genuinely huge and promptly ran the FUCK downstairs.
Anyways they whisper yell at me regardless but still got it out for me.
And whilst still- mid panic attack my mum decides this is a perfect time for a lecture on my fucking room
MY FUCKING ROOM. By reminding me “spiders love messy rooms because they can hide easier in it” HOW THE FU K AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP REBECCA
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kyogos · 9 months ago
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chainsawworld · 2 years ago
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Ok so. Going to be in england briefly tomorrow because we're impulsively fucking off to wales comic con. I guess?
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some-random-fandom-chick · 3 months ago
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#gonna ramble in the tags because my brain sucks and if i put this in my own personal discord server im gonna see it all the time#so id rather throw it here and forget about it and have it drowned out by various fandom posts and other posts i simply find neat#existential anxiety is an absolute fucking bitch and i hate that it randomly haunts me often for no reason#i have however figured out that its exacerbated by stress and feeling a lack of control over my life#cause one day im gonna be old and close my eyes for the last time and thats it#i wont wake up in a new life and forget this one i wont be in a number of fictional universes i enjoy#i wont even wake up in an afterlife#hell even if there is on (i believe there is) i wont see it cause i have aphantasia#i see absolute sweet fuck all in my head! even my dreams tend to be kinda fuzzy and tunnel visioned!#im nearly 30 and as a kid i oculd never conceive of life beyond my teens and as a teen i couldnt imagine my 20s#and now im turning 29 this year ive temporarily moved halfway across the world to be with my fiance of 8 years in an attempt to make this#move permanent and... ive done nothing truly significant#i wanted to work in languages as a teen primarily because i loved hetalia at the time and it sparked my desire to truly understand history#and culture and communication and finally connect with people#it really should have been obvious to the career coach lady that i was autistic seriosuly how the fuck did it go unnoticed by everyone#except my mother and she didnt even support me properly!#youd think that this anxiety would propel me into doing the things i want to do which rn is photography#but nope! all it does is make me scared to sleep because what if thats the last time i close my eyes and i dont know it?!#so now im here occasionally publishing my silly tiktok videos#doing my best to not backhand mil or shake my fiance because they talk like a baby sometimes and that sets off various buttons with me#for reasons i havent fully figured out yet#i have so many friends and interests and the family i still speak to is lovely and supportive#though lets not get into nanny getting old and knowing that itll be time to say goodbye to her though hopefully not for another decade#but yeah. my brain sucks i cant afford to go back to therapy rn because im unemplyed#the job hunt sucks cause canadas job market is somehow worse than englands and i cant even get financial support here cause temp resident#and every so often my brain just throws this existential bullshit at me for no reason#im gonna go do the souless job search now#and set this to not be reblogged because frankly no one needs to be inflicted with this in their head
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pranksinatras · 4 months ago
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Pre-election dread setting in.....
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moinsbienquekaworu · 10 months ago
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One of my housemates is having a Moment... But she keeps having those, and it is very grating to hear someone yelling bloody murder on a regular basis.
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zaddyazula · 1 year ago
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i would think it’s the same with other cities in other countries but the entirety of the uk (including myself) seem to bond over what a shithole birmingham is
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shotmrmiller · 7 months ago
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whenever simon needs a lay, he doesn't go for girls like you: all snarky attitude and self-assuredness in that hole-in-the-wall bar with the peeling wallpaper, dim lighting, and sagging ceiling tiles. he wants those insecure things; the soft, quiet ones who've been recently dumped and are drinking away their woes. the ones who'll take him to theirs in a drunken haze and wake up startled, kicking him out of the front door without their number and an embarrassed forget this ever happened.
can do, sweetheart. (see ya never.)
but you've caught his interest. maybe it was the way your face was bare— pockmarks on your cheeks and eyebrows untamed—yet you exuded confidence not even that loud bimbo with the fake lashes and vibrant ruby lipstick could ever recreate. maybe it was the way you held your own against that drunken man who attempted to grab a handful of arse over your faded, torn jeans, catching his pathetic bollocks and giving them a gnarly twist.
who knows. who cares.
what matters is that you've caught him by complete surprise.
he figured you were the type to want a firm hand. a couple of harsh slaps to your cheeks (both top and bottom), a fistful of your hair in his grip to pull, and to fuck you into the mattress until your body was imprinted on it.
wrong.
the moment he pulled your hair taut, you'd immediately tangled your clever fingers into his chest hair. "i'm no horse, brit. my hair isn't reins for you to lead me around with."
then he tried to bend you over his knee. proper brat like you needs to be put in'er place.
also wrong. "not that either. not yet anyway."
and then he's wrong a third time because you're no passive participant.
he sloppily eats your cunt like it's his first meal since coming back from urzikstan— warm tongue, thick fingers, and the occasional pinch of his crooked teeth on your swollen bundle of nerves. when he tries to pull away, your entrance more than slick enough to take him without much discomfort, you fervently dig your heels into the scarred tissue of his strong back., stopping him in his tracks.
"you stop 'til i finish and not a moment sooner." his whiskey breath is warm between your legs when he huffs out, "affirm." you're fluttering around his hand in minutes when you start to direct him on how you like it, which he supposes is fortunate for you since he's real good at taking orders and even better at obeying them.
your climax is sweet in his mouth with a subtle hint of brine. the exact opposite of you, he finds. simon doesn't even get the chance to tell you to say anything because you're flipping onto your knees and shoving his rigid length into your mouth. he can't help the strangled sound that escapes him when the tip of him touches the back of your throat, constricting when you gag.
bloody hell.
you look up at him; wide, glassy eyes and sunken cheeks and it's pathetic how he can already feel himself on the precipice of ecstasy and he hasn't even gotten to the good part.
when he watches you place a condom in your mouth and roll it on his cock without hands, simon had to squeeze his eyes shut and think of england to stop the fire that threatened to light him ablaze.
alrigh', enough. on your back.
"no. get on yours."
your small hands push against his barrel chest, gesturing he lie back— today preferably.
impatient bint.
you ignore that quip, opting to wrap your fingers around his thick base and sink onto him in one smooth motion.
slow, don't want ya hurtin' ya'self.
he gnaws on his tongue painfully— almost cutting it open with his canine— to keep from finishing because, bloody fuckin' hell, do you feel like the heaven he'll never see.
simon's hands curl and tighten around the swell of your hips— his blunt, square nails digging into your sensitive skin. "easy," you hiss, "i bruise like a peach."
taste like it, too.
you look so sweet, so pliant while being split open on his cock, hot cunt sodden with your earlier release— it sends mind-numbing arousal tingling up his spine, feeling it at the base of his skull. simon grunts when you begin to move, a languid up and down, gentle but firm. spots dance in his vision when you take all of him, his bollocks flush against your arse.
pretty thing with fire in your eyes taking him so well even though others have needed breaks to work up to it. muscle memory takes over then, his callused fingers automatically searching for your swollen clit, but you slap them away. "too sensitive, i'd only be uncomfortable."
yes ma'am.
you chuckle at that, pussy fluttering as you do and simon hisses through his clenched teeth.
keep tha' up 'nd i'll be done before the fun even starts.
this time you clamp down on purpose, your cunt squeezing his cock like a silken fist. "wouldn't that just be a shame. old man like yourself only got one in you?" the playful taunt sinks its teeth into the ego he's never cared about— leaving behind a mark that stings and lingers— and the lieutenant rears his head, if only for a moment.
watch it.
your eyes widen fractionally but your lips curl at the corners in amusement. "sorry, sir." minx.
his thoughts dissolve like sugar in hot tea once your hips began to rise and fall again, this time a much quicker pace. he surrenders to your unsatiable passion-- a hungry beast, feeding on want, on need-- with only his obsidian-black mask as witness.
for the first time in months (since price bent him over his desk post-op that one time) he's the one getting fucked.
and when you plant your feet by his sides, when your hips cant at the slightest of angles, his flared head presses against something firm and his world ceases to exist, the intensity of now reaching its peak.
when he comes to, your sweat-slick body trembles with effort, your pretty cunt still stuffed to the brim with his softening length. but he's not done with you yet, not by a long shot. now it's his turn.
in a quick movement, you find yourself on your back, looking up at simon, and the mewl that falls from your lips bounces off of the spartan white walls when he hooks your legs over his broad shoulders, and claims you again.
he plans on leaving a delicious ache between your legs that won't let you forget this night-- at least not for the next few days. (not like you could, i mean look at him. plus, he's going to magically forget his gloves here, maybe his pack of cigarettes. he's also definitely jotting down his phone number somewhere.)
forgive me i'm tired now so i lost some air at the end hehehe
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lovings4turn · 7 months ago
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funny blurb where lando talks in his sleep. idk i just thought of it once and it sounded funny to me (bonus if the reader records him and shows him the next morning)
ᯓ★ 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 (𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐬)
ohhh nonnie darling i love the way your mind works i truly do 🤭🤭
"you're a liar."
"am not!" you protest with a laugh. "i swear, you were having a full on conversation with yourself, lando. it was honestly pretty entertaining, if you ask me."
"i do not sleep talk!"
the discussion has been going on for ten minutes now.
lando is adamant that he doesn't sleep talk, never has and never will, thank you very much. you, on the other hand, are sure you've bore witness to it, his last offence occurring just last night.
"lando, i heard you. i don't know what you were dreaming about, but you wouldn't shut up."
"what were you even doing awake?" lando counters with a raised brow, as though he's having some sort of 'gotcha' moment. "think the sleep deprivation's messing with your head, baby."
a dramatic gasp tears from your throat, and you shoot him an incredulous look.
"fine. next time, i'm recording it. i'd like to see you try and deny it then."
funnily enough, 'next time' rolls around quicker than you expect. because that very night, you're woken by faint mumbles coming from the sleeping man next to you, his thick brows furrowed as incoherent words spill from his lips.
you hold back laughter as you lazily fumble around for your phone, squinting as the bright light of the screen hits your bleary eyes. once you finally regain sight, you begin to record lando, glad that the camera was unable to pick up your endeared expression.
what he's actually saying, you're none the wiser. you manage to pick out a few words, your name sprinkled amongst more mundane murmurs of 'tv remote' and 'fucking freezing'. as if to emphasise his point, the sleeping lando rolls over, taking the better half of your duvet with him.
you're glad you have concrete evidence of this, because you know when accused lando will deny everything vehemently. you always knew he was a blanket hogger, and now, you've caught him redhanded in not one, but two crimes.
lando can talk for england, but there's no way he's getting himself out of this one.
when he wakes up to your phone in his face the next morning, only barely able to make out his own sleeping frame, he groans in defeat and pulls the blanket up over his head.
"oh christ, take the smug look off of your face, babe. don't wanna kiss you when y'looking at me like that."
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p0orbaby · 3 months ago
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Sinners | Gluttony
summary: the two of you can’t get enough
warnings: SMUT 18+, fingering, shower sex
a/n: permission to get your horn on
word count: 1.5k
Lust | Envy | Sloth | Greed | Wrath | Pride
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You wake up tangled in sheets that aren’t yours, with Leah’s arm draped across your waist, her breath warm against your neck. The room smells like sex, sweat, and the remnants of the food she insisted on ordering last night. For some reason, you thought two orders of fries and an extra-large pizza would be a good idea. It was, at the time. Now, your stomach’s regretting that decision, but your mind’s more preoccupied with the feeling of Leah’s bare skin pressed against you.
She stirs beside you, a sleepy groan escaping her lips as she tightens her hold on you, pulling you closer. You try not to think about how much you like the way she clings to you in her sleep, as if letting go would mean losing something vital. That’s dangerous territory, so you shove it to the back of your mind and focus on something safer, like the throbbing between your legs.
Last night’s rush of desire hasn’t fully dissipated. It’s like an aftershock, a reminder that you’re far from finished with the England captain. But now there’s something more to it, something that’s eating at you, gnawing at the edges of your self-control. You want more of her, in every possible way, and it’s not just sex you’re hungry for—though that’s definitely a big part of it.
You shift slightly, trying to ease the ache without waking her, but you’re not that lucky. She mumbles something incoherent, her hand sliding up your stomach, fingers grazing your breast, and that’s all it takes for your breath to hitch. It’s like she knows exactly what she’s doing, even half-asleep.
“Morning,” she murmurs, voice thick with sleep as she nuzzles into the crook of your neck. Her lips brush your skin, and it sends a shiver down your spine.
“Morning,” you reply, trying to keep your voice steady. You’re failing, but she doesn’t seem to notice—or maybe she does, and she’s just as affected as you are.
Her hand drifts lower, teasingly slow, fingers dancing over your stomach before they dip between your legs. You gasp, hips instinctively arching into her touch, and that earns you a low chuckle from Leah.
“Already?” she teases, her voice raspy, and you can feel her smirk against your neck.
“Don’t act like you’re not the one starting this,” you retort, though it comes out breathless, almost desperate, because she’s now sliding her fingers through the wetness between your thighs, finding you embarrassingly ready for her.
“Maybe I just can’t get enough of you,” she whispers, her breath hot against your ear. There’s a teasing lilt in her voice, but there’s something else too, something darker, like she’s not entirely joking.
Your response is cut off by a sharp gasp as she slips a finger inside you, slow and deliberate, like she’s savoring the feel of you around her. It’s too much and not enough all at once, and you cling to her, nails digging into her arm as you rock your hips against her hand, silently begging for more.
She obliges, adding another finger, curling them just right, and you’re lost. The room fades away, the leftover pizza, the lingering scent of sweat and sex—none of it matters. It’s just you and Leah and the way she’s fucking you like she can’t stand the thought of stopping.
You moan, loud and unrestrained, because there’s no one here to hear you but her, and you’re not ashamed of how much you want this, how much you want her. Leah’s name spills from your lips like a prayer, and she responds by pressing her thumb to your clit, circling it in time with the thrusts of her fingers.
“Fuck, Leah,” you gasp, the pleasure building fast, too fast, but you don’t care. You need this, need her, and you’re not stopping until you’ve had your fill.
“That’s it,” she murmurs, her lips trailing down your neck, across your collarbone, as she works you closer and closer to the edge. “Come for me, baby”
The words send you spiraling, and when you do come, it’s with a strangled cry, your entire body tensing, thighs clamping around her hand as you ride out the waves of pleasure. She doesn’t stop until you’re trembling beneath her, breathless and spent, your heart pounding in your chest.
When you finally come down, Leah pulls her fingers from you, slow and deliberate, and you can’t help but whimper at the loss. She brings her hand to her mouth, licking her fingers clean with a hum of satisfaction that makes your stomach flip.
“Delicious,” she says, grinning at you like she knows exactly how much she’s just wrecked you.
“You’re insatiable,” you mutter, though there’s no real bite to your words. You’re too blissed out to muster any real protest, and besides, you’re just as guilty as she is.
“Like you’re any better,” she shoots back, leaning in to kiss you, slow and lazy, like you’ve got all the time in the world. Her tongue slips into your mouth, and you can taste yourself on her, and damn it, it’s making you want her all over again.
This is what’s getting to you—the way she can take you apart and put you back together with nothing but a touch, a kiss, a look. You want more, and you know it’s dangerous, but you’re already too far gone to care.
“Let’s take a shower,” she suggests, pulling back just enough to look you in the eyes. There’s something mischievous in her gaze, something that tells you the shower isn’t just for getting clean.
You nod, unable to trust your voice, and she grins, pulling you out of bed and leading you to the bathroom. The tiles are cold under your feet, but the moment she turns on the water, you’re both too wrapped up in each other to notice.
The shower is too small for two people, but that doesn’t stop Leah from pressing you up against the cool tiles, her mouth on yours, hands everywhere, like she’s determined to touch every inch of you. The water cascades over you, warm and soothing, but it’s nothing compared to the heat between you.
She’s relentless, not giving you a moment to catch your breath as she kisses down your neck, across your chest, and then lower. You gasp as her tongue flicks across your nipple, her hand sliding between your legs again, and it’s all you can do to stay upright, your hands clutching at her shoulders for support.
“Leah,” you moan, your voice echoing off the tiled walls, but she doesn’t stop, doesn’t even slow down. She’s focused, determined, like she’s got something to prove, and you’re not about to complain.
Her fingers slip inside you again, and you’re already so sensitive that it’s almost too much, but she’s got you pinned against the wall, your legs spread wide for her, and there’s nowhere to go but up. She thrusts into you with the same precision as before, but this time she’s not holding back, and you can feel the desperation in her movements, like she’s as hungry for this as you are.
You’re close, so close, and she knows it. She speeds up, her fingers pumping in and out of you, her thumb pressing down on your clit, and it’s overwhelming, the pleasure crashing over you in waves, drowning you in sensation.
You come hard, your body convulsing, muscles tightening as you let out a choked cry, and Leah doesn’t stop, doesn’t let up, until you’re shaking, your legs threatening to give out beneath you.
When it’s finally over, you slump against her, your body spent, the water still pounding down on you both. She holds you up, her hands gentle now, soothing, as she kisses you, soft and sweet, a stark contrast to the intensity of what just happened.
“You okay?” she asks, her voice soft, and there’s something in her eyes that you can’t quite place—something almost vulnerable, like she’s afraid of what your answer might be.
“Yeah,” you manage to reply, though your voice is shaky, your breath still coming in ragged gasps. “Yeah, I’m good”
She smiles, and it’s like the sun breaking through the clouds, and you know you’re in deep, deeper than you ever planned to be. But you’re not thinking about that right now, because all you can focus on is the way she’s looking at you, like you’re something she can’t get enough of.
“Good,” she says, her voice low, and she leans in to kiss you again, slow and tender, like she’s savoring the taste of you.
You lose track of time again, the water eventually running cold, but neither of you care. You’re too wrapped up in each other, too consumed by this all-consuming hunger that’s taken hold of you both.
Later, when you’re lying in bed again, tangled up in each other, you realise something: it’s not just lust anymore. It’s something more, something that scares you, because you know once you’ve tasted it, there’s no going back. And that terrifies you as much as it excites you.
But for now, you push those thoughts aside, focusing instead on the steady rise and fall of Leah’s chest, the feel of her skin against yours, the sound of her breathing as she drifts off to sleep beside you.
You’ll deal with the consequences later.
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barcaatthemoon · 2 months ago
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can't get you out of my head || leah williamson x reader ||
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leah has a crush on you, the new signing for arsenal.
leah felt like she was losing her mind. every single time that she turned around, you were there. at work, that wasn't much of a surprise. leah knew your work ethic, and that you'd spend extra time in the training facility after everyone else had left. what had come as a surprise, however, was the fact you had gotten an apartment in her building complex.
that wasn't your fault, leah had overheard you talking to kim about the apartment they set you up in. you had been married when talks of moving to arsenal started, so they got you a bigger place. by the time that the contracts were signed and finished, you had begun your divorce proceedings. you had been absolutely devastated that your wife didn't want to come with you to england, but you didn't let it stop you.
unfortunately for leah, once she had heard about your split, her brain decided it could go all in with her crush on you. she had known you for years, the two of you having played in the same age groups for england since both of your first call ups. she could still remember the way she had felt almost heartbroken whenever you announced your engagement to one of the french players you had met during your first season at lyon with lucy.
"morning skip," you greeted leah in the elevator. your apartment was a floor or two above hers, so you were always one of the first people leah saw in the mornings. she didn't mind that, although she would have preferred it if you were waking up in her bed.
"morning (y/n)," leah mumbled, not completely awake yet. the two of you had been called in for a media video, some game that they wanted the two of you specifically to play. you understood why, both of your careers had similar trajectories, just in different countries. you were an english player, but you had become a staple of french club football before you made the jump back to your home country.
the two of you fell into a comfortable silence, which leah was grateful for. she wasn't sure whether or not she could keep her thoughts in order around you this early. it wasn't fair how put together you seemed at all times. leah felt like she was struggling to look and act like a person, and here you were, doing it all so effortlessly.
there were a few more players there for the video, which would showcase the various ways you did a few different drills and training games. you and leah were immediately put on a team together. on the pitch, leah was able to think a bit clearer, and the two of you flew through your games. a few of them were close, but you still managed to keep the lead.
"alright, a few words with our winners," katie said, absolutely loving her role as host. "couldn't have come back a few years ago with those skills, eh?"
"hey, i came when my country called," you joked. "everything happens in its own time."
"it's too early for wisdom. is she always like this leah?" katie asked. leah nodded, a small smile on her face.
"oh yeah, sometimes i think she and bronzey used to just speak to hear themselves," leah teased. you pushed her a bit, but was there to catch her when she nearly just toppled over. katie asked a few more questions, and leah found herself rambling a little whenever she got to talk about you.
"careful, you keep talking about me like that and i might just fall for you," you joked. leah, however, didn't take it as such. she just sort of stopped walking, and it wasn't until you turned around that leah started moving again. "you okay?"
"yeah, i'm fine," leah said clearly. her next words were mumbled barely above a whisper, but you caught them anyways, "fuck, i am so attracted to you right now."
leah had to get away from you. you were driving her absolutely up the wall. it wasn't like you were even doing any of it on purpose, and the worst part was that leah knew that. she knew that it was all in her head. leah was just down bad for you with no signs of getting over it.
you had made a few changes to your look since arriving and getting comfortable at arsenal. the training program had added a few pounds of muscle to your physique, and leah would have been a liar if she didn't wonder sometimes how it would have felt to be tossed around by you. on top of that, you had gone out with some of the girls for a holiday and come back with a couple of piercings. the icing on the cake however, was the tattoo.
leah had seen it purely on accident. she was making her way onto the dance floor to let you know some of them were heading home. your back was turned to her, but leah knew that it was sitll you. she couldn't tell you what the song playing was, but she'd never forget the bed of flowers that was so intricately drawn along the small of your back. there was something trailing up, but leah didn't have time to catch all of it before you turned around.
"hey, everything okay?" you asked as you stumbled off of the dance floor.
"y-yeah," leah stammered. it wasn't like her to do that, so you led her over towards a table to sit. "some of the girls are leaving, just wanted you to know so you didn't panic later. you can go back to dancing if you want, i'm good for another pitcher or two."
"like hell you are, not here. come on, we can keep drinking at my place. i want you somewhat sober for the stairs," you told her. leah thought it was funny how protective and stern you got with her. she'd do absolutely anything for you, even without that tone of voice. leah shook her head as her thoughts started to run rampant. it was always like that whenever she started thinking about you.
"alright then, off we go," leah said as she shot up from the chair. the bar wasn't too far from your apartment complex, but the walk still took it out of you. you had spent all night walking and dancing around in your heels, and all you wanted was to take them off. you thought you were being subtle with your grimaces, but when leah picked you up, you realized that you weren't.
"ah! what are you doing?" you couldn't help the undignified squeal that had left your lips. leah just laughed at it as she tried to reposition you in her arms.
"carrying you. i can set you down and you can ride on my back if you want. should have called a cab, didn't think about your shoes," leah mumbled. you let her set you down before hopping onto her back. it was nice to rest your head against leah's shoulder as she carried you the last two blocks back home. you had almost fallen asleep when leah dropped you in the elevator.
"aren't you gonna come up? i thought you were good for another couple pints," you teased. leah's finger hovered over her apartment floor before moving up to yours. you smiled as you leaned in and wrapped an arm around leah's shoulders. outside of the club, it was obvious that you were far more drunk than leah originally thought.
"i am, but no more for you missy. you're going straight to bed," leah told you. she was using her captain voice. normally, you would have reacted like you did in practice, but instead, leah could see the way it darkened your eyes a bit. she quickly tries to turn away, but your arm around her shoulders keeps her from getting too far.
you manage to get yourself dressed by yourself, and even bring leah out some comfortable clothes to wear as well. it feels like you're waiting forever to watch her walk out in a pair of your sweatpants and a tank top. all of it is a bit baggy on her, but the sight of her in your clothes makes your heart skip a beat.
"why are you looking at me like that?" leah asked as she leaned down in front of you. it's definitely the alcohol that pushes you to do it. you never would have just leaned up and kissed her otherwise, despite the fact that you had been thinking about it since you were at your first england camp with leah. "(y/n)…"
"is it someone else?" you asked, immediately feeling rejected. you want to crawl away and cry, but you know that it's nothing a few more shots won't fix.
"no, not at all. i want this too, i mean it's pathetic sometimes. i can't think straight around you. tonight isn't the right time, not when you're drunk. if you still want me in the morning, let me know. i'll be right here on your couch," leah promised. you smiled at the sweetness of her words. you made some room for her to sit with you, knowing that you wouldn't make it back to your bed. you wanted a good cuddle, and if leah was staying on your couch, you'd stay with her.
leah didn't move a muscle as you passed out barely ten minutes later. she finished her beer and pulled a blanket over the both of you. it wasn't comfortable by any means, but leah couldn't remember when she had slept so soundly before. a part of her was nervous about you waking up and kicking her out, but that was immediately quelled when you woke up with the sun that morning only to pull leah into your bedroom with you just so you could continue to hold her tight.
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folkloresthings · 3 months ago
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Hello darling I have a request from prompt ‘we were supposed to be just friends’. Lando x fem!reader, she work as legal for McLaren, they met at the McLaren technology center, and from the begging they had this special bond. During a party in a disco in uk with his friends, he stay very close to her and try to kiss her. After a sec of confusion, they kissing each other.
❛ ARE WE STILL FRIENDS? ❜ ❨ lando norris x reader ❩
where lando has loved the mclaren legal officer from the second he set eyes on her and has finally decided to do something about it.
eight months out of university and working in a coffee shop was not exactly how you had pictured your life post-graduation. you had a law degree from one of the best schools in england, but all it was doing was gathering dust on a frame in your living room. nights were spent in front of the television, only half paying attention, with your laptop screen lit up with job postings. it was like the four years of knowledge was itching to be used, instead of idle hands pouring overpriced iced lattes.
admittedly, you didn't remember applying for the job at mclaren. you were so desperate that you had sent your resume to every posting you could find, barely sparing a second glance at the job summary. it was only when they emailed with an interview date did you do your research. they were a formula one team, and a pretty good one at that. the sport had never much been your thing so you hadn't a clue what kind of work you'd be doing.
but it was work. legal work.
the interview went smoothly, then the second, and the third. they seemed to love you and your education. thankfully the internships you had done during university made up for your lack of experience. they hired you and had you come up to headquarters the next day. the drive from london to woking was full of jitters, turning your radio up to block out the nervous thoughts.
"ah, y/n! welcome to the mclaren technology centre." zak brown was the one to greet you by the front desk, with a smile and a firm handshake. you had spoken during your last interview, the final hurdle with the boss, and thankfully you got along fine. despite your age and greenness in the legal world, zak admitted he saw potential in you. they had gone through six other employees in the past two years for this position, all much older and more experienced. they needed a change.
"this is where you'll be working when you're in-office," zak explained, leading the way through a tour of the centre. it was much bigger than you expected, so modern and open. yeah, you could picture yourself here. "we usually would have you here one or two days a week, the others you can work from home. is that okay?"
"that's perfect," you agree, nodding happily. "i live in london, so the drive is only about an hour."
zak grins, continuing the tour and filling each space with small talk; your education, upbringing, hobbies. he only laughed when you sheepishly told him you knew very little about formula one, and didn't have a huge interest in the sport.
"you'd be surprised how many people here don't watch it," he chuckled, his american accent strange in the midst of the english countryside. "ah, speaking of. boys!"
in the foyer, at the end of the hall, two heads whip around at zak's call. both in the mclaren colours, one was thinner and smiling crookedly. the other, well. he was...
"lando, oscar, i want you to meet y/n. she's our new internal legal officer," zak explained. "meaning if you fuck up in any way, she'll have to deal with it."
the three men laugh, bringing your own bashful smile to wake.
"hi, i'm oscar," the thinner boy speaks in a soft australian accent, shaking your hand. "but it's lando here that you'll have to keep an eye on. i'm always on my best behaviour."
lando. he'd been staring at you since zak dragged you over to them, barely blinking despite for the odd laugh. he blushes then, gently nudging oscar with his elbow. he meets your eyes and his mouth goes dry, lips parting like a fish out of water as he tries desperately to think of something witty to say.
"don't worry, if you don't do anything wrong then i won't have anything to do," you jest, breaking the silence. a grin pulls at your mouth with the words, soon mirrored by the two drivers.
"i think i'd rather you didn't, then," zak scoffs, patting your shoulder. "go get settled, i'll come check on you in a while. boys, we've got that meeting in ten — c'mon."
smiling gratefully, you nod towards zak as he leaves — a silent thank you for his hospitality. oscar waves shyly, turning on his heel to hurry after his boss. lando follows suit, just about pulling his eyes from you, but only makes it a few steps before he's turning back.
"it was, uh, nice to meet you," he murmurs, clearing his throat. "hopefully i'll see you around."
biting at your cheek, holding back a small laugh, you nod. "hopefully."
lando finds himself grinning, walking a few yards backwards just to spare another minute looking at you. oscar calls for him and forces the teammate to hurry, shoes scuffing against polished tile as he catches up.
"stare much?" oscar asks him once they're side by side, a knowing smirk twisting upward.
"shut up," lando mumbles, but his own smile flickers. "she's pretty."
after that day, lando and you became close friends. he would sneak upstairs from briefings to bring you a coffee ("extra caramel, of course") and hide out in your office. he would vent to you about changes zak was, or wasn't, making with the car. you would confide in his about particularly stressful cases you would get handed. on days you weren't in the office, lando would text you pictures of him and oscar bored in meetings.
but the worst was race weekends. very rarely did you go along with the rest of the team, as there was little need for you there. if something went wrong, you could fix it from your desk in england. lando sent you updates from each city, everything from the track to sightseeings. you would often reply with a picture of your rainy window in central london and a sad face. and each sunday, you would sit up and watch the race with your fingers crossed. no matter the time, you were there. and when a race went particularly bad, you would wait up for the phone call from lando, needing a shoulder to lean on.
the staff at mclaren began saying you two were joined at the hip, partners in crime, so often not seen without the other. the best of friends.
"hey," lando chirped, knuckles rapping on your office door one friday morning. he had two coffees in his hand, as usual, perching both them and himself on top of your desk. "you going to the office party tonight?"
"open bar, free cocktails, seeing mark from marketing drunk?" you hummed thoughtfully, sipping at the hot drink. "you bet i am."
lando laughs, head thrown back slightly. the knowledge that you'll be there relaxes him, actually letting him look forward to the mandatory night out. "okay, good. i'll see you then."
"see you tonight," you call after him, watching until he disappears around the nearest corner. luckily, zak lets everyone go an hour early in account for the party starting at eight. you hurry home, sorting through every outfit option and getting ready as quickly as you can. the club was on the other side of london, at least forty minutes on the train, hence your rushing out the door with only one heel buckled.
inside of the club, completely booked out by zak for the company's pleasure, you realised just how many people worked in the world that was mclaren. legal was such a small part of it, a tiny cog in the whole machine. it was quite overwhelming, if it wasn't for the fact that you knew so many of the faces.
"y/n, hey!" the familiar sydney accent pulls your eyes to the nearby bar. oscar waves you over, smiling as you weave your way into a hug. "this is lily, my girlfriend."
you recognised the girl from pictures, but she was even prettier in real life. you exchange bright hello's, hugging in greeting while oscar orders you both some drinks.
"it's so nice to finally meet you!" lily beams, tucking her hair behind her ears. "i've heard so much."
curiosity peaks you, head tilted ever so slightly. "you have?"
"yeah, of course. lando is always—"
her words are cut short by a wide-eyed oscar, shoving in between you both to give you your drinks. "ha, hey! let's go sit, hm?"
your brows furrow, only more confused when lily shoots you an apologetic look. she takes your hand to lead you through the crowd to a booth at the other wall. amongst a few individuals you vaguely recognise, lando sits sipping a beer. he looks up when he hears oscar greet them, but his eyes instantly shoot to you.
"jesus," he mutters, quiet enough that only max next to him hears. you look absolutely stunning, your figure newly shown off by the little dress you have on. it falls to about mid-thigh, the rest of your legs accentuated by the heels you had on. your hair and makeup has been done a bit more than it would for work, and the sight has lando's stomach churning.
you squeeze in next to lily, across the table from lando. he can't tear his eyes away from you, even when max tries to strike up conversation. all you're doing is talking to lily, leaning over into each other to hear properly, face lighting up every so often with a laugh.
"so, that's who's had you so distracted recently?" max eventually catches lando's attention, watching his best friend's eyes widen. "she's pretty."
pretty? lando though. she was gorgeous.
"we're just friends," lando explains, shaking his head.
"bro, you've been staring at her like she's the only person in the room for the last twenty minutes," max laughs airily, nudging him. lando scoffs and rolls his eyes, but doesn't deny the fact. after another moment, you catch his gaze and smile softly. lando blushes, lifting his hand to wave slightly.
"okay, let's dance! this is my favourite song," max suddenly exclaims, standing up with a slap to the tabletop. a few follow suit, and you turn to lily with raised brows.
"oh, no," she shakes her head with a giggle. "i need at least two more of these drinks before you get me up there."
"well, drink up. i'll save you a dance."
smiling sweetly, you slip off of the seat to give her attention back to oscar. lando stands at the same time, smiling playfully when he looks at you. a hand of his stretches out and you can't even fathom denying it, slipping palm to palm and letting him drag you to the middle of the dance floor.
the song is drake or the weekend, something you don't really know, but the beat is so loud that you can feel it in the floor beneath you. falling into a rhythm, you giggle as lando begins moving with you. he sings along, but you don't recognise the lyrics, only the movement of his lips as his eyes shut. your chest thumps in time with the music, the heat of the people around you creeping onto your bare skin. the music mixes, changing into a melody you instantly know.
"i love this song!" you squeal, grasping lando's arms to shake them in excitement. he chuckles, watching on in admiration as you begin dancing again, reciting every single word to abba's lay all your love on me. your hands sneak down from his arms to his hands, forcing him to move along with you. he spins you around again and again just to watch your hair and dress float around you like magic, the lights of the club basking you in a heavenly hue.
somewhere in the midst of the second verse and chorus, lando feels his judgement cloud. he'd like to blame it on the beer, but he had only drank one, and he knew it was that usual intoxicating presence you carried around everywhere. your lips mould around each lyric, having listened to the song so many times (and your endless summer rewatches of mamma mia, as you once told him) that it was engraved on your memory. you looked perfect, the same as every day he snuck glances at you in the office or scrolled through your instagram late at night when he couldn't sleep for thinking about you.
you were it, for him. everything he loved and dreamed of, the only thing that had kept his feet on the ground this past season. and here you were, chest pressed to his thanks to the swarm of drunken guests, so close that he could smell your perfume and the shampoo from your hair. you had used a darker lipstick tonight, he noticed, unlike the usual clear balm you wore at work. it made you lips look even more soft than they normally do - he knew, because he spent a hefty chunk of his day staring at them.
abba fades out, along with the loud and out of tune singing filling the club, and all lando can think about is kissing you. it wouldn't be fair, for such pretty lips to go unkissed. and it wouldn't be fair on him, who has spent hours on end imagining how kissing you might feel, to let such an opportunity slip away from him.
so, he's tightening the hands that are already on your waist to pull you even closer, until there's not an inch of space left between you. his lips around rough, unmoving as they press against yours, eyes screwed shut and cursing the long seconds as he waits for your mouth to respond. eventually, he peeks through hesitant eyes to meet your surprise. your lips, colour smudged a little now from the contact, are parted and your eyes are wide. he can't discern what you're thinking, but he would bet it wasn't pure elation.
blame it on the beer, blame it on the beer, blame it on the beer.
his mouth opens just as all of his senses wire back in again, the end notes of the song just ringing out when he begins making his excuse. but your surprise and panic fills you so much that you can't breathe here, not with so many people around and lando's body heat still so close. stumbling, you push past him and everyone else that you meet to escape the busyness. the neon exit sign beckons you to the fire door, gasping when it opens and the fresh night air hits you.
thankfully, there isn't a soul to watch you and your flushed cheeks struggling for breath, and you wait until you hear the door shut behind you to fully relax again, frankly not caring if you lock yourself out. but the click of the lock doesn't come, only a familiar sound that crumbles you again.
"y/n—"
lando stands helpless in the doorway, eyes pleading for forgiveness when you turn to him. your head shakes, searching for something to say.
"i... you, what—” you struggle to grasp the right words, eyes squeezing shut. "i thought we were just friends?"
"we were! we are," lando corrects you quickly, striding towards you. "but that doesn't change the fact that i—"
"lan, please don't."
"— love you, y/n. i've been in love with you since your first day at work. how couldn't i be?"
his voice is smaller than you've ever heard it before, urging guilt into your throat until you have to swallow it back down. you make yourself look down at the ground, your heels and his sneakers facing each other, because you know you'll fall apart once you see those damned brown eyes.
"lando..." you murmur through a sigh.
"don't you feel it too?" he asks, desperately grabbing at your clammy hands. "us, me and you. it's right there."
you cave then, heart taking over from your mind, chin raised to look at him. lips turn into a frown, searching his lovelorn eyes for the moment he'll laugh and tell you its all a big joke. because he's lando, and you're just you.
"tell me that you don't, that there's nothing here," lando mumbles lower, gripping your fingers for dear life. "tell me this isn't real and i'll walk away. but — but i can't leave you if there's a chance."
your lips part with a breath, lips dry, and your sense screams at you to tell him no. that it'll never work, it's impossible. but something tugs in your chest and you realise something you had never wanted to admit to yourself: you loved lando norris.
"it'll be too complicated." you settle for excuses instead, chewing the inside of your cheek, wincing when you nick the flesh. "we have to work together, so if something happens then it'll mess everything up."
lando steadies your shaking head with his hands, one on each cheek, staring deep into your eyes. "what are you so scared of?"
you swallow, shoulders raising with each shallow breath. "i don't want to lose you. you're my best friend, the only person i can talk to. i don't want to mess that up."
your confession melts his heart, affection bringing his thumbs to graze across your cheeks. "i won't let that happen," lando promises, tongue sincere as can be.
you wait a moment, scouring his features before the trust solidifies. gently, tentatively, you search for the taste you barely got inside of the club, lips ghosting together. strawberry and beer mix on your tongues, hands wandering over body heat and mouths hungrily moving together like two teenagers in a back alley. only when breathless does lando fall from your lips, hands still steady on the round hips of your dress, keeping you close.
"i'll always be your best friend," he whispers like an oath, a boyish smile tugging at the corner of his swollen and lipstick-covered mouth. "but can we be best friends who do that, like, a lot?"
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writer's note: wrote this in one sitting and may have gotten carried away but pls enjoy <3
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