#waiting to see more information if i decide if shes trans or not but. i know the strap is large
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suzuran's mom tops
#waiting to see more information if i decide if shes trans or not but. i know the strap is large#also waiting to see suzus dad but#they feel t4t#from what i know#anyway hi im normal
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part 4/7
the lil law bein held by luffy is v important to me
[op comic masterpost]
[pg1] Panel 1: Law: ...
Panel 2: Law: ...Bepo knows. Luffy: Penguin and Shachi too I assume? Law: They better not. I swore Bepo to secrecy. He only knows cuz he's the one who figured it out. Luffy: Got it
Panel 3: Luffy: So you wanna start with the pros or cons? Law: Pfft, you know. Luffy: Okay. I don't think it would make you feel very good. Law: I'm already sick all the damn time. Luffy: You know what I mean Law [talking over Luffy]: I know what you mean.
Panel 4: Luffy: We sail on different ships Law: I don't know obstetrics Luffy: My family doesn't have a great dad track record Law: Most of my crew doesn't know that I'm trans, so I'd have to come out Law: We're pirates Luffy: You can't count that, there's already kids on my ship Law: Fine Law: We can't make our crews stay together just because we want to. Law: People might think my crew is under yours and that would not go well. Luffy: So if we wanted to stay together we'd probably have to leave for awhile like Usopp did. Law: What if she's got white lead disease?
Panel 5: Luffy: You already cured tha-- wait did you say she? Law: Oops. Luffy: Oops? Why oops? Law: Listen, I needed all of the available information. Luffy: Any more to share? Law: Um. It's been about 12 weeks. Luffy: Since what? Law: Okay nevermind I have no more information that will mean anything to you.
Panel 6: Luffy: ...Why does that make it different? Law: ...I don't know, but it happened to me too. Not that it means it's a girl. But assigning a pronoun...I think I've gone soft. Wouldn't have meant anything a decade ago.
[pg2] Panel 7: Luffy: Me too. I think this'll be easier if we just say 'it.' Law: You're right. But I tried. And even when I do, when I close my eyes I just see this kid that looks like you.
Panel 8: Luffy & Law: ...
Panel 9: Luffy: Fuck Law: I know Luffy: You can't just say shit like that. Law: I'm sorry.
Panel 10: Luffy: Well now we know it's an option. We could always plan for it later. Law: But it also could be a fluke. Honestly with all the shit I do to my body it's a wonder she made it so far without me knowing. Luffy: It's cuz she's mine.
Panel 11: Law: Fuck Luffy: That was supposed to be an inside thought Law: You don't have those. This is a terrible idea. Luffy: I agree Law: So we agree we shouldn't do this.
Panel 12: Law & Luffy: ...
[pg3] Panel 13: Luffy: Everyone expects us to be docked here for a week. So I don't think we have to decide right now.
Panel 14: Law: Yeah. Yeah good point. Law: And if I can just use the Sunny's library...I'm sure Kaya's got some books in there that would...offer perspective.
Panel 15: Luffy: And we can keep thinking of pros and cons!
Panel 16: Law: And at the end of the week we can both write down what we think we should do Law: and we can compare answers.
Panel 17: Luffy: It's a plan! Law: It's a plan.
#my art#lawlu#law x luffy#luffy x law#lulaw#cw dysphoria#cw unplanned pregnancy#cw implied discussion of abortion
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Brother's Best Friend
Genre: Smut
DNI: NON-MLM/NBLM, fujoshis, mlm/nblm fetishizers, trans fetishizers
CW: Feminine words used for privates (pussy, cunt, folds), clit is referred to as a dick, thigh fucking, fingering, teansie bit of a handjob, thigh kisses/hickies, mentions of puke (it's not a weird kink or smthn dw), praise, reader gets called good boy, modern au ig but it's not rlly that important lol
Character(s): Top Nakahara Chuuya x Bottom Trans Male Reader. Dazai is readers brother
'This must be a dream. It has to be.' Was all you could think as the cab you were in pulled up to one of the fanciest hotels you've ever seen. You hesitantly got out of the cab and grabbed your luggage before paying the driver, watching as she drove off. You turned around and stared at the huge building in front of you.
'I must be at the wrong place. There's no way he could afford a room here.' You thought to yourself as you continued to stare at the building. After a few minutes, you gathered the courage to walk in and check if you really did have a room at such a marvelous hotel. However, once you stepped into the hotel you were immediately tackled into a hug.
"(Name)!! Oh I missed you so much. How has my little brother been?" The man said in a sing song voice. You let go of your luggage and hugged him back for a few seconds before backing away.
"I've been okay. Dazai how in the world did you get us a room here?" You asked as you admired the decor.
"I paid for it duh. Are you impressed by your big brother?" He asked, putting his hands under his chin and batting his eyelashes. All you did was roll your eyes at him and laugh. You could hardly believe your brother, who you remembered to be a man who rarely took anything seriously, actually had a well paying job. He was incredibly smart yes, but he had zero work ethic. Honestly you were impressed by him.
"Sure I am." You replied sarcastically. He pouted, but quickly went back to his normal goofy self and helped you check in. As he lead you to your room, he informed you that it was connected to his so you could come over whenever you wanted. Though you knew that meant he'd be coming over to see you instead.
"Oh! Do you remember my friend Chuuya? He's staying with us." He said as you both arrived to your room.
"Dazai it's only been 3 years of course I remember Chuuya." You teased as you opened the door. The room was bigger and more beautiful than you expected. Dazai grinned at your look of shock and started helping you put your stuff away.
Once you were finished, Dazai surprisingly left you alone and let you relax until dinner. You weren't expecting to be at such a fancy place, so you didn't pack any formal clothing that would match the restaurants that were probably just as extravagant as the hotel. You tried your best though, and dressed up in your nicest outfit. As you were looking in the bathroom mirror to make sure you didn't look like an idiot, the door that connected the two rooms opened.
"(Name)! Are you done getting ready?" Dazai shouted. You decided that was enough of picking apart your appearance and came out of the bathroom. Thankfully, Dazai was dressed in a similar fashion, meaning your outfit was appropriate for the restaurant. Dazai smiled and walked back into his room, leaving the door open. You could hear Chuuya scolding Dazai for being loud, and Dazai purposefully trying to rile him up. They really haven't changed a bit.
You decided to wait outside the room just so you wouldn't be sitting around and looked on your phone. The door opened making you look up, and out came Chuuya. His hair was longer than it was the last time you saw him, and he seemed to have grown a few inches...? Wait that can't be right. You glanced down at his shoes and saw they had slight heels, making you smile to yourself. You both just awkwardly waved at each other before your brother came out.
Dazai led you guys to the restaurant, teasing Chuuya the entire time. Once you all sat down, you decided to look at the menu to see what food they have. Your eyes widened at the prices and you looked at Dazai like he was insane.
"Dazai these prices are ridiculous!" You whisper shouted.
"So what? I'm paying so order whatever you'd like." He said with a grin. You were seriously surprised. Just how in the world could he afford all of this? You looked at the menu and decided to go with a cheaper option since Dazai had already spent so much money on you.
"So (Name), did you find a boyfriend yet?" Dazai asked, wiggling his brows as he spoke. You could feel yourself get a bit flustered from the question.
"No I haven't." You said shyly. Dazai knew you got shy when it came to your love life, so you knew he was doing this on purpose just to tease you. "Did you?" You fired back. Dazai sighed dramatically and stirred his drink.
"Noooo." He whined with a pout. You just smiled at him and decided to move on to a different topic.
The night was fun. You had a good time catching up with your brother, and even grew a little closer to Chuuya. It had always been awkward between you two despite you only being a year younger than him and your brother. To be honest, you didn't really know why it was awkward. You got along, but it just seemed tense whenever you and him spoke without Dazai around.
Speaking of Dazai, he was currently on his 6th drink of the night and he was absolutely wasted. Dazai had always been a lightweight and he had ordered some strong drinks despite you and Chuuya telling him not to. You both decided it would be best to leave and take Dazai back to the room, which was a struggle. You both had to hold onto him because he was too drunk to walk, and he wouldn't stop singing.
"Oh my god shut up you bastard." Chuuya snapped as Dazai sang the same verse of his own made up song for the 10th time. Dazai just giggled at him and sang louder.
Finally, you guys made it back. You helped Chuuya get Dazai undressed and into his pajamas and thanked him for taking care of him. Once you were finished, you went back to your room to get ready for bed.
"ARE YOU SHITTING ME DAZAI?!" You heard Chuuya yell. You ran over to the door and yanked it open, seeing the side of Chuuyas bed covered in puke, Dazai passed out on the floor, and Chuuya red with anger.
"Oh my- Chuuya i'm so sorry. I'll clean this up for you." You said as you rushed over and helped Dazai up. He luckily didn't get anything on his or Chuuya's clothing or belongings, so you just helped him clean off his face.
"Don't apologize (Name) it's not your fault he's a dumbass." Chuuya said. You could tell he was furious considering now he had no place to sleep, and the room would smell like puke if not cleaned up quickly.
"Could you help Dazai get into bed while I clean up the puke?" You asked as you gently handed him your sleeping brother. He sighed and just nodded. You thanked him before gathering up the bedding that had puke on it, being careful to not touch any of it.
After almost an hour you got most of the puke out so it wouldn't smell, but you'd have to let the cleaners wash it tomorrow. You sighed and saw Chuuya sitting on the edge of Dazai's bed, glaring at him.
"I'm sorry Chuuya. You can use my bed if you'd like. I can just sleep with Dazai or something." You offered. You felt bad that your brother made such a mess and wanted to make it up to Chuuya.
"What? No it's alright. I'll just sleep in my bed." He said as he got up.
"But you don't even have a blanket or sheets. Please take my bed, I feel bad for what Dazai did." You explained. Chuuya thought for a bit before finally speaking up.
"Let's just both sleep in your bed. I'm tired and don't feel like arguing about this." He sighed.
"Okay, that could work. It's a pretty big bed. Just come over when you're ready to sleep." You said before leaving. Once you were back in your room you rushed to put some of your stuff away that you were too lazy to organize when you got back.
Once finished, you got into bed and tried to relax while watching TV. Chuuya came in not long after you turned it on and plopped down onto your bed, clearly exhausted.
"I'm going to kill your brother when he wakes up." He mumbled as he looked at the TV. You laughed and turned it off so you both could get some sleep.
A few hours later, you woke up and glanced at the clock on the nightstand. '3 am. Great.' You thought to yourself. You tried to go back to sleep but couldn't. Maybe it was because someone else is in bed with you? You weren't sure, but it was frustrating you.
Chuuya seemed to have trouble sleeping too, because you felt him sit up and heard him sigh. You rolled over to face him and saw him rubbing his eyes.
"Can't sleep either?" You asked. He glanced at you and nodded before laying down again, this time facing you. You both stared at each other for a moment before he asked you why you couldn't sleep. The conversation went on from there. It went surprisingly smooth considering you both were always so awkward around each other. You both asked each other things about your current lives, he even told you some stories about him and Dazai that you had never heard before. It was pleasant. You really enjoyed talking to him.
The conversation died down after a while, and all you guys did was glance around the room. Chuuya's gaze made it's way to your lips, and you noticed. You felt yourself getting a bit flustered and couldn't help but feel shy.
"Can I kiss you?" Chuuya whispered, cheeks dusted pink. You nodded and felt as he pressed his soft lips against yours. You certainly weren't expecting him to be such a good kisser, but holy fuck he was. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer to him, deepening the kiss as he did. Your arms went around his neck, the kiss getting more heated as you both got closer to each other.
It wasn't long before his tongue was in your mouth and your hips were grinding against his. You could feel his hard-on rubbing against you, making you shiver. His hands went down to your ass and pushed you against him harder, groaning into your mouth. You pulled away to catch your breath and felt him kiss your neck, sucking softly at the skin.
"Ch-Chuuya you can't leave marks." You breathed out. You heard Chuuya hum and he stopped sucking. He moved away from your neck and looked into your eyes.
"You know...i've always thought you were really handsome." He confessed.
"Really?" You asked. He nodded and pecked your lips.
"Do you want to take this further?" He asked, hand running up and down your side.
"Y-Yeah, but I don't have any condoms." You said shyly. He hummed and thought for a moment.
"We don't have to go all the way, I could fuck your thighs." He suggested. You squeezed your legs together and felt yourself get wet. He didn't even say anything that dirty, but his words made you hot. You said okay and watched as he went to get lotion from the bathroom. He came back and put it on the bed so he could take off his pants. You took off yours too, but hid yourself under the blanket. He took off his briefs after you did and wow, you sure knew where the rest of his height went. Honestly, you were a bit happy you weren't going all the way. He would easily be the biggest you've taken if you did, and you weren't sure if you were prepared for his size.
"Can I see you?" He asked, voice hushed. You nodded and moved the blanket. He moved in front of you and parted your legs, licking his lips once he saw your sex. He dipped his head between your legs and kissed at your thighs.
"Can I leave marks here?" He asked while glancing up at you. It wasn't like that part of you would be exposed at all during this trip, so you said yes. You moaned softly once you felt him sucking at the skin. Your thighs had always been a sensitive part of your body, so this just turned you on even more.
He pulled away and smirked as he saw the markings he made. Sitting up, he grabbed the lotion and opened it, squeezing some onto his hand. He rubbed some on your thighs, running his hand close to your pussy to tease you. He squeezed some more on his hand and rubbed it on his hard cock. You watched as he did it and offered to help. He of course said yes and sighed once he felt your soft hand stroke him up and down.
"F-Fuck you're good at this. If you keep going i'll cum." He warned as he pulled your hand away.
He positioned you to where you were laying on your side facing the wall while he was behind you. He put some more lotion on just in case and asked you to squeeze your thighs together. He slowly pushed himself between them, cock sliding against your folds as he did. He started to thrust his hips, hands gripping yours as he did.
You moaned softly as you felt him fuck your thighs. The whole situation was so erotic, so lewd. You never thought someones cock simply rubbing against you could feel so good. You positioned your hips in a way where his tip hit your dick and you choked back a loud moan.
"You h-have to be quiet (Name). The walls here are th-thin." Chuuya whispered, trying his best to not be too loud, though it was kind of hard when your thighs were giving him so much pleasure. You nodded and did your best to keep your noises down.
You looked below you and saw as his dick thrusting up against your pussy, making you whine. "Good boy." He whispered into your ear as you tightened your thighs. His thrusts were much faster now that your slick made it easier for his dick to slide between your thighs.
One of his hands moved to your ass and squeezed it as he got closer to release. He breathed out curses as he watched his dick disappear between your legs. He couldn't imagine how good you must feel inside, how good your pussy would feel around him. How you'd probably squeeze him as he praised you...fuck he was gonna cum.
He gave you a warning before his release, pressing tip pressed against your dick as he came and coating your cunt in cum. He pulled out and you turned onto your back so you could look at him.
"Chuuya...please fuck me." You begged quietly. You needed him. You needed to feel him inside you so badly, you had never felt so needy for someone before.
"No, we don't have a condom. Here-" He stopped mid sentence and sat up. He told you to sit up too and moved behind you once you did. He pulled you between his legs and told you to spread yours. You felt so exposed to him like this, but did as he said anyway. He moved his hand between your legs and gathered some of his cum on his fingers. He moved his hand up your mouth and positioned his fingers in front of it.
"Lick it off for me." He whispered. You licked off the cum and glanced up at him once you were finished. He kissed your head and whispered praises in your ear as he moved his hand back down and dipped two fingers inside you.
You gasped as you felt his slender fingers inside you, reaching deeper than yours could. He slowly started to thrust them, watching at how you squirmed from it.
"Does that feel good?" He asked as he sped up. You gasped and moaned out a yes. He slowed his thrusts and pushed in a third one, making you gasp. His fingers made you feel satsifyingly full as they hit your sweet spot repeatedly. You had such a hard time keeping your voice down as he fingered you.
"I-I'm close Chuuya!" You whined as he sped up. He pressed his palm against your dick as he fingered you, making you moan out curses.
"Good boy, cum all over my fingers (Name)." He whispered, chuckling softly when he felt you tighten around them. You came hard, pussy twitching around his fingers as your orgasm hit. Your hand covered your mouth to muffle the loud moan that you couldn't hold back.
Chuuya's fingers stopped moving and he pulled them out slowly, rubbing them on your folds as he whispered more praises into your ear. His other hand moved your hand away from your mouth, and he leaned down to kiss you.
Pulling away, he moved so that he wasn't behind you anymore and laid you down. He asked if you needed anything and got you the water you requested. He washed his hands and grabbed a hand towel from the bathroom to clean you both up a bit.
Once finished, he threw it into the bathroom to deal with later. After he dressed himself, he dressed you and got back into bed. He wrapped his arms around you and gave you a soft kiss on the forehead before falling asleep with you in his arms.
---------------------------------------------------
I originally started writing this story with a completely different plot but then I realized it wasn't anything like how I originally wanted it to be, so I deleted it and redid the whole thing and omg i'm SO glad I did. I had so much fun writing this story I started and finished it today. I really like this story and I hope you guys do too! ^^ This actually wasn't supposed to have so much plot but I got carried away ^^;
Also i'm sorry if I made Chuuya or Dazai OOC. I tried my best to keep them in character while also fitting them into a world where they aren't completely traumatized 😭. Also sorry if you expected smthn rough. Imo Chuuya would be a gentle lover. At least the first time he would lol.
Side note: I'm trying a new layout(?) so sorry if it's a bit weird ^^;
#chuuya nakahara x male reader#chuuya x male reader#bsd x male reader#bungou stray dogs x male reader#ftm reader#trans male reader
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It's Worm liveblogging time! About time I finally got around to actually reading it and not just letting the wormposts flow over me and deposit information via osmosis.
I started this morning and have read through the end of Arc 2 so far, so this isn't quite liveblogging from the beginning, but I can summarize the thoughts I would have posted had I decided to do this earlier.
Taylor apparently already has her powers from the start? I honestly thought the story began before her trigger event. Seems like it's only a few months after though, she's new to it all. I guess we see the background in an interlude later.
Also, wow, I thought my experience of high school as a nerdy trans girl was bad, but goddamn. I'm a little surprised Taylor hasn't murdered any of her bullies yet. Maybe later.
Spiders on his dick! What a unique, one-time event that surely will never even remotely happen again.
It took me an embarrassingly long time to remember who Regent was. You guys don't talk about him much.
Is Armsmaster trans or something? Probably not according to Wildbow, but since when is he a reliable source anyway. Trans according to post osmosis is good enough.
Dad :(
Taylor really does have a lot more self-control in the beginning than I expected.
At least she has some basic opsec knowledge and goes to the public library to make contact. Not that it helps against a Thinker, but it's the right idea.
The Undersiders have a boss? Why do I get the feeling that the boss won't be lasting very long...
There is no way that Lisa doesn't know exactly why Taylor is here. I guess she's having fun playing with her? Or maybe she also sees the next layer too and knows Taylor is possible to turn to be a villain for real.
...You know, as someone who gets a majority of her worm knowledge from an avid Taylor/Rachel shipper, reading the actual start of Worm is bizarre. Rachel does not make a good first impression here. I understand the smugbugs much better at the moment.
Friends :)
I do not like Victoria Dallon. Sure, punch Nazis, but that's a bit beyond punching.
I really do not like Victoria Dallon. Not just police brutality, but also blatantly using cult manipulation tactics on her sister, and trying to amplify that with her aura? Come on, Amy, we've got to get you out of there.
That's it so far! I imagine the arcs get significantly longer as the story goes on; they'd kind of have to to reach the "6.5 times as long as my own longest fic" mark that I've heard about. As a writer, that's a phenomenon I know all too well.
Anyway, I'm having a good time so far, and I can't wait to keep reading! I've been warned of some spots later that I will have to skip over, but I can deal with a few dick-spiders for now.
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Just want to write a bit about my experience with the whole starting testosterone process in PA. I have had a really great experience and I really hope this can help other trans people to feel more confident going into this process.
I’ve been out since I was in 4th grade and this year I started the process to go on t. I made an appointment with my regular doctor, just a “well checkup” and spoke to her about my desire to start testosterone. She was incredible, no invasive questions, she was respectful of my desires, spoke to me about some options she was aware of and recognized that she didn’t known enough. I went home, she did her research, and she made me a referral to a gender clinic near me within the week.
My mom called the gender clinic for me, they put me into their system and said I’d get a call within 2 weeks to schedule a therapy appointment. The therapist would be the one to give me a referral to the medical doctor at their clinic. They called us back within 2 days NOT weeks. And much to my joy and disbelief there wasn’t the wait list I expected. My appointment with the therapist was going to be the very next week.
Today I went to the therapist. She was the most queer informed cis het individual I have ever met. She was understanding of and knowledgable about not just the medical and psychological side of being trans and queer, but also of the culture and media. She didn’t make judgements of my competency based off of my past mental health experiences or my autism. It was the first time I ever felt understood by or seen by a therapist or health professional. She was non-invasive, her questions were respectful, her understanding of gender and transition as existing outside of just a “hatred” for one’s body and as a range of experiences in and outside the binary was beautiful. At the end of the appointment after speaking to me and my mom she had decided to give me the go ahead for the medical doctor in order to receive testosterone. Once again I was surprised: I had faced no ignorance from the therapist, there weren’t a million more appointments for me to attend, or months of begging for something I have clearly and consistently wanted for years of my life.
When I went to the front desk to make the appointment I once again expected some disappointment or an obstacle. Perhaps a months or even a year long wait to see the medical doctor, after all everything had gone so well so far, surely there would be an obstacle here. But no, my appointment was scheduled for the 4th of this upcoming month, 12 days from today. Not even 2 weeks. On that day I will more likely than not receive my prescription for my testosterone.
I am so full of joy and hope with this experience. For the first time in my life I feel like my future is real, like my life will be fully mine. I feel confident and full of anticipation for the future. And I’m so touched by the understanding and support from the medical professionals I’ve worked with to get to this point, who have worked so hard to be understanding and inclusive and kind. I understand my privilege here, I’ve read the horror stories, I know how so many people struggle, and I feel deeply in my heart for everyone in our community who has been met with barriers and ignorance and fear in their journeys to medically transition. But I hope that my story can spread some joy and hope for others, and maybe alleviate some fear for some. Sometimes, as rare as it is, we do get breaks, things do get to be easy and kind for us, and with the way things have gone in this country the last several years I’ve needed proof of that so much more than ever.
I’m looking forward to sharing more of my journey with medically transitioning! I’m happy to answer any questions about the process to getting there, what my therapy session looked like, and going forward about the physical and mental changes testosterone causes!
#trans hrt#ftm hrt#hrt#hormone replacement therapy#trans masc#transgender#trans man#trans ftm#trans pride#transmasc#trans boy#trans love#trans joy#ftm trans#queer community
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Bloody Mark.
Trans Derek Morgan x Trans male reader (AFAB)
Summary: The reader is new to the team and no one knows he is AFAB. When he gets his period on a case he has to ask for help.
Warning: Fluff. Period talk. Trans male gets period. A brief mention of medication talk.
~~~
You have been on the team for about a year now, and still you haven’t come out to anyone else on the team and everything is
going great. Of course your boss knows, you told Hotch at the interview that you’re trans, born female but now identify as a man. He was understanding and told you it was up to you whether or not that information was disclosed to the team. You had decided to keep it just between you both for now, he made you aware of the fact that his team was 100 percent supportive and have had other trans people on their team before. You knew if you ever did come out and ever face discrationed from anybody you could easily go to Hotch for help and he would be there for you no matter what, that's just the type of boss he is.
~~~
You're currently on a case trying to find a serial killer, you are sat at the table with JJ doing research as the team is spread out throughout the precinct talking to other police officers running through there other cases to see if anything looks similar. Grabbing your bag you look through it searching for some period supplies, groaning softly as you find the pack empty, your head wacks backwards as fear runs through your body.
“Hey are you alright?” JJ looks at you with concern.
“Um yeah, I just forgot something” You grumble feeling embarrassed.
“Oh well what, I might be able to help” JJ smiles softly, you might not exactly be new to the team but you still had trouble asking for help and JJ just wishes you knew you could always ask them for anything.
“Um no, I'll be fine, thanks JJ” You smile weakly, feeling your inside burning at the thought of having to come out this way.
“Alright, just let me know” She smiles as you both go back to work, bouncing ideas off each other.
Soon silence fills the room as you both do your own research but you can’t concentrate needing to go to the bathroom but you can’t, not without the things you need.
“Um JJ” Your face grows hot as you look up at her worryingly.
“Yeah” She glances up at you, taking a double take as she spots the worry on your face. “Okay, what's up?” she asks, her eyes full of concern, watching as you glance around the room before turning back to her.
“I uh.. Do you have a pad or tampon or something, I ran out and need to go to the bathroom” Your voice trails off as you look away from her, missing her confused look before it quickly disappears and is replaced with a soft smile.
“I'm sure I do” She smiles, grabbing her bag, going through it, only to groan softly. “I'm sorry my pack is empty, I forgot to get more last time” She looks at you sadly. “Im sorry, but thank you for asking me, if you want I can ask Emily she normally has some”
“That would be great please but could you uh—”
“I wont tell her” JJ interrupts you, smiling softly. “Its not my story to tell” She gets up walking away.
~~~
JJ returns slowly with a sad smile shaking her head. “She ran out and used my last one apparently, didn’t even ask me” JJ laughs softly making you laugh relaxing jut alittle.
“Right well I uh.. Should go get some” That feeling fills your stomach with fear, small towns like this do that.
“Or” JJ interrupts you,
“Or what?” You crock your eyebrow at her.
“You should ask Morgan” She tilts her head at you smiling as your face is full of confusion then drops slightly before smiling.
“Wait really?” Your smile grows as the pressure on your chest eases.
“Really, he’s over by the coffee machine, go talk to him” She smiles encouragingly at you, as you quickly get up, making your way over to him, glad that he is far away from the others.
“Hey Morgan” Your smile falters a little as you approach him, nervous filling you.
“Hey” He smiles back, picking up on your nervousness. “You want some coffee?”
“Nah I’m alright, actually JJ said you might be able to help me with something” You let out a small shaky breath.
“Sure what's up?” His eyes narrow with worry.
“She said you might have some pads or tampons I could have, I ran out” You explain. He smiles at you, smirking slightly. If he’s surprised he’s hiding it well you think to yourself.
“I sure do, let me guess Hotch didn’t tell you when you joined the team, huh?” He chuckles softly.
“Uh no, he said you used to have other trans people on your team but I wasn’t aware there still was” You laugh quietly smirking. “You're not surprised?”
“Nah, we shared a room once, and I did see your medication so I figure you would tell us when you were ready” He smirks at you as you both make your way to the bathroom.
“Thanks Morgan” You smile as he hands you a pad once you both enter the bathroom, glad it's empty.
“No problem, feel free to always come to me about anything already, always got ya back”
“You to Morgs” You smirks as you walk into the cubicle.
#criminal minds#derek Morgan#Derek morgan x reader#Trans derek morgan#Derek morgan x trans reader#trans derek morgan x reader#Trans derek morgan x trans reader
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I know you're not Identifying-cars-in-posts, but could you tell me about this car? Best pic I could get. It's got such a creature face, I really like it
First off, PLEASE feel free to treat me as a makeshift @identifying-cars-in-posts. I'm pretty sure I said as much at some point, but I should update my pinned to reflect that. Second off, I genuinely did the held in snore-laugh WHAT IS THAT THING
And I did indeed not know, due to the gaps in my knowledge of SUVs that size caused mainly by them barely ever coming to places like Europe, whose human-sized environments are not comfortably navigated by these absolute fucking monsters - hell, I live near a two way road that gets almost 25cm narrower than this thing. Oh, for yanks, that's just over the length of my- you know what actually let's not give that information to the public I can think of something else, uhhhhh that's about a head's width right? Lemme look it up on Wikipedia. Nope, apparently it's about from your chin to your hair. Did you know Wikipedia has a subsection on median human head measurements on the not at all creepily named article "Human head"? There's a table from lowest 99- wait, what were we talking about? Oh right, that thing. How did I get sidetracked like that? I swear that never happens.
I know it's a recent SUV by Nissan's luxury brand Infiniti because it looks recent and has an Infiniti badge that's visible from space, so I just did what I usually do, type what I know into Google Images (yes, DuckDuckGo users, you get to feel superior to me) and glance around at the results to see if I stumble into it. "Infiniti SUV", however, net me zilch. So I figured, since the damn thing so big and goofy it makes the picture you sent look like an Animorphs cover where a car turns into a semi, it could not possibly be anything but the top-of-the-range QX80, and thus googled that next. However, all the behemoths I saw looked much more acceptable, making me begin fearing I'd have to delve into the absolute mess that is the Infiniti naming scheme.
But then, I had an idea.
First result. B)
So what you saw is the second generation of, as I'd suspected, the Infiniti QX80. But also technically not.
See, the one below is the 2004 Infiniti QX56, based on the Nissan Armada based on the Titan based on me, but we(eee!) are never ever ever wait that's not how the song goes.
In 2010, out came its now Nissan Patrol-based second generation, who saw the awkwardness of the first one's roofline realizing at the end of the rear door that it actually can't slope down like that and its front end deciding it may need to be different but who said it must be better and emphatically asked it to hold its gas station sake.
But, in 2015, they did a restyling, in which they sprinkled some LEDs into the lights and fiddled with the bumpers creating the model you saw on the road and I found on Google - and used the occasion to transition the model to the new naming scheme.
You see, Infiniti had realized nobody could parse or remember their seemingly random letters and engine size names, so they started shifting to calling every car Q (or QX if it's vaguely gesturing towards the concept of off-roader) and use the numbers, like in many other brands, to denote where they sit in the range - thus the range topper got the highest number, going from QX56 (denoting its 5.6L engine) to QX80.
(good God.)
So technically, you could argue this to be the first generation of Infiniti QX80, since before this specific restyling there was no Infiniti QX80 because it was called QX56. But that logic would dictate someone who transitioned a year ago is a baby, and honestly if one stance on car names bars me from sex with trans people I'll pick the other.
Either way, they ran with that restyling for three years until they were like "Oh when y'all asked for a restyling you meant you wanted us to make it stop looking like a whale telling its daughter she is not going out dressed like that? Oh okay! Coulda said it earlier!" and gave it the second restyling that carried the model up to this year.
I'm not sure if it actually looks nice full stop or if it's just the whiplash from the Multipla-rivaling previous model, but at least the fender vents now look like they came from Infiniti and not Walmart. Though this generation is now getting sunset altogether, since in the mean time they figured out how to make the damn thing even larger.
This pedestrian mower's headlights have a 'bamboo forest design motif', which I'm very excited by, knowing many people that named their headlights' lack thereof as the key reason for their waning will to live. It's expected to cost Too Much and have a gas mileage rating of You Spent Six Digits On A Drivable House You Don't Get To Even Ask.
Links in blue are posts of mine about the topic in question: if you liked this post, you might like those - or the blog’s Discord server, linked in the pinned post!
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ROUND THREE - MATCH 5
DANZYMYR MAENELD vs TAMARA
DANZYMYR MAENELD: @mitsubinyuri
TAMARA: @wokeuptraveledstraightintothesun
VOTE BASED ON THE INFORMATION BELOW CUT!!
Propaganda Content Warnings: Parental death for DANZYMYR, abandonment, experimenting and cult mentions for TAMARA.
DANZYMYR MAENELD:
PROPAGANDA: Danzymyr is a male Drow so already not off to a great start. His mother was like... standard evil drow matriarch. Because he was of high status he was treated a little better than other Drow males but still pretty damn terribly. His house, House Maeneld, was on the way out in terms of power and influence and due to the constant jockeying for status in Drow society his mom was intent to use him as a tool to further the house, as with all of his other siblings.
He went to school in Menzoberranzan to be a warrior, and while he was there, he met another student who he ended up becoming close with. This other student was a member of a much more influential house, and long story short his mother found out and wanted to use his closeness to this guy to infiltrate the house and do a whole lot of murder. He was kind of like okay! Sure!
But he lost his nerve right before reaching the place. He escaped to the surface instead, where shit was awful for him. The Drow's sunlight sensitivity made it so that he was in constant pain and most people didn't look too favorably upon him. Eventually, he took up a career as a monster hunter, gaining more and more begrudging respect until he eventually became an adventurer, and later, hero. All the while he's still traumatized from how he was raised and is deathly terrified of spiders.
Eventually he decides he needs to go back to confront his past, so he does. He returns to the house where he was raised and finds out that the guy he was "very good friends" with died anyway (due to his mother's intervention). He ends up killing his mother and actively enjoys it and that causes a big sense of shame.
Then he's sent to a magic prison where they get their minds probed by an aasimar for abstract visions of their psyche given in the form of song where he'll be judged innocent or guilty. He falls in love with a druid who has a crazy savior complex and is enforcing terrible restrictions on the other prisoners, and he's like "wait he's not that bad!" They make each other worse lol.
THEME SONG:
TAMARA:
PROPAGANDA: let’s see, lost her family at 7 years old (none of them died there was just a house fire where she was put inside an iron stove to “protect” her by her father (her father doesn’t like her can you tell) and they left her there (the rest of her family thought she’d left already)), (un)fortunately picked up by a guy who took her to a very ethical lab where she was healed! And then forced through many painful experiments. Also she was the executioner for a Lot of people later in the lab time and she’s not even 16 yet. So she escapes at age 16 and spends a year with her girlfriend just existing and processing (poorly) what she had to live through and trying to acclimate to life outside of The Lab. Then her girlfriend (who is a cyborg fun fact) got a virus and so she had to be decommissioned which was not a good time for Tamara.
Other physical details: One of the experiments was a test in how high someone’s empathy can get and. Tamara’s the highest Kyne (the one guy who loves experimenting on her) got. So she’s having a Time. She has lost sensation in her extremities, her bones are weak as Fuck due to being part bird (because of very little bone marrow and airy bones), and she just always looks soggy regardless. Also she’s trans
So she just can Not catch a break and she unfortunately gets exploited by her need for parental love and general guidance in her life and joins a cult :( Like can you see the fact that she just cannot stop being kicked while she is down. (I love her to bits and she is my favorite oc I promise)
THEME SONG:
#oc tournament#round three#oc: danzymyr maeneld#oc: tamara#parental death tw#abandonment#tw cult#Spotify
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hey guys i have decided that i will now become a TMAGP account. hashtag. love this new podcast!! as soon as my hands stop swelling I WILL be making RedCanary fan art. I cannot express how much i’m loving this series rn
more below the cut! ! (SPOILERS)
OKAY SO!! episode #1 has thoroughly shaken me to the core. thank you so @sunnyspookss for listening to me yap about it over discord. love u suns!! here are my thoughts on the characters :
Sam - I cannot describe how I feel about this creature. I’m loving them and they’re giving me very… main character vibes (obviously but… anything could change who knows). Currently loving the idea that they wear glasses !!! Def a really fleshed out character (even from just the first episode).
I know Sam SAID that they were working here to ‘get back on [my] feet’ but I feel like there might be something more behind it?
Alice - right off the bat !! I’m loving her. she seems so incredibly sweet and i’m HC-ing her as a trans woman. live laugh love Alice !!! She’s so silly and in some ways reminds me of Tim Stoker ? I think it’s really interesting and I can’t wait to see how her character develops!!
ALSOOO TTHE FACT THAT SHE AND SAM USED TO DATE!??? AUGH. during college too? I feel like this is running a real close parallel to Jon and Georgie.
Gwen <333 - I can totally see some of the Bouchard family line coming in here. At first (a.k.a. the first 10 minutes or so) i didn’t really have any strong opinions and kinda forgot that her last name was bouchard but after the little scene of her and Lena in the office I started to love her even more. The boldness and the gall this woman has makes me want to shake her around like a squeaky toy.
When Lena was like “what do you even want here anyways 😒😒” AND GWEN WENT “your job” I LOST IT. LIKE.
I don’t even know if she and Elias are related but goddamn?!! I’m literally in love.
Lena - She knows something. This woman. this girl. she knows something that I do not know and I do not like it.
Colin - Live Laugh Love Colin!!! He def knows what’s going on!! I have a feeling he’ll be rlly important to the plot and his little end ‘speech’ (more like dialogue but oh well) at the end of the first episode was like??? Major Eye vibes.
RedCanary - I don’t even know where to begin. The insanity? The deleting photo? Canaries should stay above ground? The anger at ArcherK?? The mystery?
I really hope this character comes back but even if they’re a Sarah Baldwin situation that is 110% okay. I love the premise of this person finding something in that box (or maybe just the box in general) that drives them to insanity or drives them to some new information?
Misc. - Ok! Im not sure if the same like… ‘fears’ apply but someone (hi sunny) has said that there might be a new fear system? i think that’s going to be really fun to get into once I listen to the second episode. Secondly !!!! The Magnus Archive being turned into the library of alexandria (not literally but still) is such a cool concept to me. I think it’s very inchresting to think about because
A) as a child i loved researching TLA (the library of alexandria) and B) it makes a whole new timeline- i think?? Or maybe it’s some like alternate dimension or something!!! who knows!! I love it!
The idea of lost knowledge (and that knowledge once being uncovered driving people to insanity) (shoutout redcanary we will remember you!) is such a cool concept in general. the what-ifs and the maybes that can stem from it are so interesting and I can’t wait to see if they expand on that or not!! Either way- i’m loving the podcast so far.
ALSO JON AND MARTIN BEING CHESTER AND NORRIS RESPECTIVELY? DOES THIS MEAN THAT AUGUSTUS IS LIKE. ELIAS OR JONAH???? AUGH THIS PODCAST IS SO GOOD IM LOSING IT
#the magnus universe#magpod#magnus pod#the magnus protocol#tmagp#tmagp vague#tmagp spoilers#tmagp speculation
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IMW Chapter 6
She selected the draft email titled "school online" and received a response within a few minutes. While waiting for other responses, Marinette checked her private and work emails and accepted a few more quick commissions. Her change in status was accepted, and she was now enrolled in online schooling for her final year of college and lycee until further notice. She was relieved that she had submitted the paperwork for the switch months ago, as her teacher, Ms. Bustier, couldn't block what she didn't know. Marinette made a note of her school portal login and password and changed the standard password to something no one could guess ("Fuckofffuckers!"). She closed her laptop and proceeded to wake Tikki with a gentle shake.
"Time to wake up, sleepyhead," Marinette whispered softly.
Sitting up and stretching, Tikki replied, "Good morning, Marinette."
"Could you get the others and tell them breakfast is ready?" Marinette asked.
"Sure thing, Marinette," Tikki responded, phasing through the wall to gather the other kwamis.
Marinette plugged in her TB hard drive and began transferring her files. Once it was underway, she went back to the living room, grabbed her laptop and the master control remote, and took a seat on the large U-shaped couch. She placed her laptop on the table beside her plate, pressing a button to raise two hidden TV screens from the table, one facing each side of the couch. Marinette turned on Netflix on one screen and Disney Plus on the other, leaving the remotes beside them for the kwamis to decide what to watch. As she settled back into her seat, she sipped her tea.
"Morning, Marinette/guardian," the kwamis greeted as they took their seats.
Wayzz, Tikki, Pollen, and Longg joined Marinette to watch the news. Tik
ki had informed them that Marinette had finally begun the plans they had helped her come up with to escape her toxic household.
By 7:40, everyone had finished breakfast, but before Marinette could collect the plates, Longg said, "Don't worry, Marinette. We'll handle the clean-up." Longg, Barkk, Orikko, Trixx, Mullo, Sass, and Pollen flew the plates to the sink and started washing them. Longg handled the washing, Barkk and Mullo did the drying, Pollen and Orikko carried the plates, and Sass and Fluff put them away.
"So, what are you going to do today?" asked Kaalki. Marinette checked the time.
"Well, I should start on today's classes. It should only take 3-5 hours since I don't have to stop for interruptions. Then...," Marinette said, placing her finger on her chin, thinking. "A quick trip to the shops to restock on fresh ingredients, and then I was thinking of going over our Shadowmoth suspects list. After that, I have some sketching commissions until dinner, and then it's free time." The kwamis had insisted she have designated "free time" to relax and enjoy life, instead of constantly keeping herself busy. Marinette had even started taking hour-long herbal bubble baths with aromatherapy oils selected by Wayzz, with a kwami providing a massage afterward. These baths helped her relax and get better sleep.
"Just make sure you don't overwork yourself, Marinette," Daizzi cautioned. Marinette looked at the kwamis with affection because they genuinely cared for her.
"That reminds me, I have something to show everyone," Marinette said. The kwamis gathered around the open living room, and Marinette walked over to the wall joining her bedroom to the living room. Pointing the remote at the wall, she captured their attention.
"You see, when Uncle Jagged took the sketchbook with my dream studio to build this place, I had some very detailed plans. For example, I included one-way tinted windows, especially the large ones behind the TV. It reminds me a bit of Adrien's bedroom since that entire side of the studio has one-way reinforced glass. This way, no one can see you guys flying around. And I also had this," Marinette entered a specific combination into the remote, causing the entire wall to become transparent, revealing that it was made up of miniature rooms like those found in a dollhouse, complete with small beds and other furnishings.
"On the plans, I labeled this as a large hamster cage, and anyone who knows me knows I've always wanted one. This way, no one will ask questions. I made the furniture myself and even filled the rooms with some hats and clothes for each of you. Everyone has their own customized room and everything," Marinette explained. When she turned around, she was met with 16 surprised and shocked faces.
"Do you guys like it?" Marinette asked hesitantly. The kwamis quickly swarmed her, expressing their gratitude and amazement. The tickling sensation from the kwami hug made Marinette laugh.
"While I do my school work, you guys can explore your new rooms," Marinette suggested. She then pointed to the wall on the left side of the bedroom door and pressed another combination on the remote, causing the wall to descend into the floor. It revealed shelves with DS tablets and other electronics for the kwamis. There were 19 small rooms at the top of the wall, each labeled with a kwami's name, for them to play or read in private. In the middle, there were larger rooms with items like Nintendo Switch consoles and benches for the kwamis to play games together. At the bottom, there were even larger rooms with controllers made from the benches upstairs, allowing the kwamis to play dancing games. The studio's little details were a bit expensive, but Marinette had plenty of commission money and nothing else to spend it on. Her bank account already had a lot of zeros in it, thanks to Uncle Jagged, Cousin Clara, and the people they recommended who paid her fairly for her work. She even had an account that invested some of her money in stocks and other ventures.
"Then you can try out your new toys and gadgets," Marinette said. The kwamis were once again moved by Marinette's thoughtfulness. They had never before had a wielder or guardian who cared for them like this. Marinette had even given her old phone to them so they could watch movies and other things in the Miracle Box. Usually, they were given second-hand items, but Marinette had provided them with brand new things. Marinette found herself once again enveloped in a kwami hug, and they sat there hugging until Marinette's phone alarm went off, indicating that it was time to start her school work.
At 8:10, Marinette reluctantly got out of the hug and began her school work.
After 4 hours she got up started on her Shadowmoth files.
Gabriel Agreste: owner and head designer of the fashion brand Gabriel first came onto the suspect list because he had the Miraculous grimoire and then proceeded to become akumatized into the collector and then taken off the list because at the time it was believed that Hawkmoth couldn't akumatized himself. However he was placed back at the top of the suspect list after the appearance of his partner Mayura. Suspect for Mayura: Nathalie Sancoeur, his personal assistant, Who's health began to decline after the appearance of Mayura and would be in line with the suspect using a broken miraculous. Adrien Agreste once commented that she was showing the same symptoms as his mother did before her disappearance.
After the second scarlet moth incident. Lila Rossi is highly likely to be Hawkmoth's accomplices, with the amount of time between your expulsion and the appearance of the scarlet horde is too covenant unlike the first time where the illusion of an akumatisied Ladybug killing Chat Noir filled all of Paris's people with negative emotions and within 15 minutes the appearance of the scarlet horde.
After finalizing the files she took a look at the Ladyblog, well as much of a blog it was left after Alya started posting illegitimate claims (*cough* Lila *cough*). She was met with a huge headline of "What the HELL happened to Ladybug's suit???!!! She clicked on the video and saw herself sitting last night and with a soft glow, her costume started to change...
Well, that was strange.
Marinette- Tikki! What happened to my suit?
Tikki- well Marinette that was your magic awakening, it would seen that when you resolved yourself to emancipate yourself and put yourself first, your resolve along with the amount of emotion you were feeling awoken your magic causing your suit to change and match your new mental image of yourself and what you thought a hero/Ladybug would look like
Marinette- Wait so your saying my image of a hero was a skin tight barely leaving anything to the imagination, suit?
because that didn't sound right she had spent the first 8 years of her life in Gotham before her father, Batman, shipped her off to live with Tom and Sabine and signed over his rights to them, so her imagine of a hero should have been like Batman with gadgets not a onesie with only a yoyo.
"Tikki- Well, yes and no. Your suit was a result of you not wanting to be a hero when you first transformed, because you couldn't picture yourself was a hero so it gave you basic suit and equipments, I meant to tell you, you could have changed it but slipped my mind and you stopped complaining not long after and by then you had associated the suit and your own image of what Ladybug should look like."
Marinette just stared at the Kwami.
She could have change her suit? She could have more equipment than just a yoyo? She didn't have to have worn that skin tight, relieving suit for the last 3 years?
"Tikki..." staring straight into Tikki's eyes "run"
#maribat#marinette dupen chang#bruce wayne#hellishere7980#miraculous fanworks#miraculous incorrect quotes#miraculous lb#dick grayson#jason todd#alfred pennyworth#bio!dad bruce wayne#ml kwamis#marinette and the batfamily#betrayal
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2, 5, and 9 for the self insert ask? :D (@snowpuffclovers)
2. when in canon does your self insert come in? do you have a scene in mind for your entrance?
hmmm for tua s/i, i have destroyed canon so i can't say with certainty anymore jgddgjhfsfh. he would appeared in either the first episode or the second episode. in the same way five arrived, but in a different location (yay time travel wonkiness 😭) i think, for them, it makes sense for it to be first episode because they already had a rendezvous point planned if they got separated during the time jump, which i have to implement in my rewrite
originally, i believe his opening scene was him going to the rendezvous point. it would've been a weird cut-off from the main family plot to this seemingly random 14 year old kid trudging through the city. then as the scene went on, it became more and more apparent that he's being followed and watched by multiple people. by the end of the episode, he'd have reached the aforementioned rendezvous point and would have managed to hide from the people following him. for now. he and five didn't reunite until second episode though (which i personally find a little bonkers. no fucking way they're waiting 24 hours to see each other excuse me past self jgdfjhgsgh)
this in mind, i find arifive pretty funky because most is their story happened before the plot even began. so right from the get-go they have an established dynamic that's really different than most of the other relationships in the show, and that's why they kind of stand out. also the sibling drama of them finding out this dickhead got married before them is still funny to me
5. does your self insert have any special powers or abilities?
this doesn't get any less complicated no matter how many times i attempt to explain 😭 but i will stick with it. and hope that it makes sense
so in-universe, there are multiple different timelines. ari's powers make him connected to all his different selves from those different timelines. this mostly manifests in his regeneration. any injury of his heals within minutes, and he doesn't stay "dead" for very long because, since he's connected to all his other lives, he can never really be dead in a sense
another silly way it affects him is through his dreams! he technically only has one consciousness. so when he goes to sleep, the aforementioned consciousness moves to another self that wakes up. this is the main really complicated part so i hope it was explained okay
9. who are your self insert’s closest friends?
this is also not very set in stone due to the rewrite, but the ones i had fleshed out friendships with are charlie (an oc) and elliott. and of course, the other hargreeves siblings
in the 2nd season, the main characters end up stranded in the 1960s dallas, texas. charlie was a trans kid running away from her family, and she happened to run into ari. five hadn't arrived at that time (yay time travel wonkiness again 😭 everyone arrived on different days,,) so ari decided to adventure with charlie and help her find some place safe to stay. later on in the show when they arrive back at 2019, he meets charlie again and they continue being friends :)
elliott was also from dallas, and was a conspiracy theorist investigating the siblings' appearances in dallas. ari broke into his house trying to find five's location, only to find out he didn't get here yet. he decides to stay in elliott's house to wait for five, and in exchange, elliott gets information about the time travel stuff. they eventually become unlikely friends. elliott does die later in the season though,,
as for the hargreeves family, although ari obviously has a very clear favorite, he did grow up as an umbrella academy fan, and he has a soft spot for all the siblings :') i thiiink of all of them though, he and diego have a lot in common. and if ben were alive, the three of them wouldve been best friends
#obligatory rip to my 70k word arifive fic whose file got corrupted because gdocs couldn't contain the sheer amount of words i put in there#all of this was explained in there...#maybe one day i can try that again jfshkjfsgj with my own plot#anyway thank you avil :)))#ari.asks#s/i: arion hargreeves#avil.tag#19
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Talk Shop Tuesday for creating Abraham, if you don't mind? :D
Thank you so much! He's a fun one :)
So, as it turns out, Abraham is based on an actual person! I found a newspaper excerpt on a personal blog (I believe I was perusing Alexander Starbuck's book and then resolved to hunt down more info) describing how the whaleship Lydia had a Black female whaleman in 1801.
"Clark's crew was discovered to be a woman; notwithstanding which, capt. C. informs us, that she has performed all the duties incumbent on a sailor equal to any man he had on board. What induced the young lady to disguise herself and enter into so dangerous and laborious an employment we have not yet been informed."
The veracity of The New England Palladium notwithstanding, I immediately had a million questions for this unnamed whaler. What would possibly motivate them to do this? Money? Some Ishmael-like romance about sailing the seas and taking part in the "noble" whale fishery? Complicated gender reasons? Did this person live as a man for only this short period, or did they continue to do so later on? Did this person's race play a role in their motivation to go and their experience on board (since it was 1801, almost certainly, but how?) I'll never know for sure, but if this person did indeed exist, they seemed to have a fascinating life. Ergo, OC! Gender is really deeply tied with whaling and whaling culture, especially in Moby Dick. Not only were a lot of whalers queer, but it was a really uniquely isolated masculine space. When you have a bunch of dudes who can basically only interact with each other for 3 years, it would make sense that they would develop a unique culture. I wanted to figure out an interesting way to explore masculinity in a non-Melville way, especially from the perspective of someone with a lot of stake in the game, so I came up with Abraham. He's also in a way representative of the dichotomy between the whalers and the whaling communities; they're off for months or years at a time, facing harsh conditions and unbearable boredom, while their families stay in New Bedford or Nantucket and light candles made of whale oil. Abraham has stepped between the two worlds. Originally a whaling wife, he decided he'd leave his husband and young child to ship aboard a whaler and live as a man. Abraham has also notably experienced dysphoria since he was a child. I think it's definitely a risky choice writing a trans character from a different time and deciding to incorporate relatively "modern" concepts, but I really wanted to explore what life would be like for a trans person from a different era if they underwent a lot of the trans experiences we see as normal and expected today. Abraham is also Black, and while whaling ships had a startling degree of racial equality compared with the rest of the world, racial dynamics were still a very present thing. It affected pay, promotion, and day-to-day treatment. In Moby Dick, the very diverse set of harpooners on The Pequod was a bit of satirization from Melville about the different ethnicities that made up a whaling crew, although crucially, all the men in ranks of power are white.
In terms of personal connection, Abraham and I do not have very much in common. I'm also trans, although I never experienced many of the formative things other trans people (and Abraham) did. I suppose his character is also a way for me to explore those formative experiences as someone who frequently feels like an outsider in the trans community, which is ironic, as Abraham is quite literally an outsider everywhere except for his small circle on The Tantalus. He has such an integral role in Crooked Latitudes, and I'm always having thoughts about him. I can't wait to see where he and the story go together.
#welcome back to another episode of “I have to resist the urge to stay in bed all day and work on my story”#this was a very long talk shop tuesday lol#but thank you so much!! abraham is so close to my heart#I was so excited when I got the ask!#I love tuesdays :)#crooked latitudes#pleistocene answers asks
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Opium Lidded Daydreams
Fandom: Shadow and Bone (TV), Grishaverse: Six of Crows Summary: A lot of things have happened to him during his life, this has been one of the best. He thinks that he deserves it after all of the pain that he has had to endure. It's also where he hardens his heart to never care for others. Warnings: Trans characters, canon-typical violence and betrayal, and canon deaths Word Count: 4,628 Ship(s): Kaz Brekker & Poppy Cox
Archive link!
A/N: I very recently fell in love with the idea of Kaz being trans since he has canonically did change his name and totally reinvent himself. I really loved Poppy and the implied backstory with them as well, so I decided that I was going to write something with it! I did take the backstory more from the book than I did the show for Kaz but then things kind of veer to the middle so that I can have Poppy in there since she doesn't show up in the book. I hope that makes sense and feel free to ask me clarifying questions if it doesn't! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3
Poppy Reitveld had many changes in her life.
The first had been long before she could remember. Her mother had been desperate for another child, her longing to care for and nurture not satisfied with their collection of animals and Poppy’s older brother. She had always been a sickly woman, so taking on a pregnancy had made her so sick that she was bedridden for a year when she conceived their first. Poppy had been informed that it was a massive sticking point for her parents, the first time that Jordie had ever seen them do anything more than tease each other. Her mother had gotten what she wanted, though, as she always had. A second child was conceived and she was just as sick the second time as she had been the first. She left Poppy with nothing more than the sunny memories of a delicate laugh and the reassuring kisses on the top of her head. She had never known what had really killed her mother, she was too young to be told at the time and there was no one to ask other than a weathered gravestone once she was. Just like that, Poppy was the daughter of only a windower and the sister of a half-orphan.
The second had been her father. She was still young when it happened, but old enough that she had far more cemented in her mind. The memories had stuck to the back of her teeth and her throat like the honey she was spoon fed when she had a cough, refusing to leave. She had been tucked away in the house and given the task of helping her brother cut the vegetables for their supper. She hadn’t been doing a very good job of it, but that was mostly because Jordie had wandered off to do whatever it was that boys at his age got up to. She had heard the shrieking and crying of someone in pain and had rushed out just in time for one of the farmhands to pick her up as though she weighed nothing. The thing that she remembered from her father’s death was the crushing weight of having to stay put, to wait until someone came to get her to tell her what had happened. Poppy remembered the blood stained ground where the seeds should have been and the burning, crackling smell of the plough as they destroyed it, thoroughly convinced it was bad luck. Just like that, Poppy an orphan and the sister of a foolish teenage boy.
The third one had led to the most pain, but only because of the slippery nature of it. She had been dressed up in the clothes that she always wore to mass, the ones that her father had assured her that her mother would have loved to see her in. Poppy hadn’t been so sure about it then, and she was definitely unsure of having to wear it again when she wasn’t being told why. She had blue ribbons woven into her hair to make her extra pretty before they were rushed through the streets of Ketterdam. Jordie had the money from selling their farm hidden away in his pocket. He had been siphoning it off for the room that they were renting and the food they needed to keep them alive. Poppy hadn’t wanted to leave the only home she had ever known, but she loved and trusted her brother, so she had gone along with it anyway. She had trusted Jordie, even after they came up the window of the house that should have been filled with people they trusted to find it completely empty. Just like that, Poppy was a penniless orphan and the sister of the most foolish boy on the streets.
The fourth was the worst thing that she had ever faced in her entire life, and with any luck it would remain that way until she peacefully died under a pile of her own gold. There had been sirens screaming through the air and coughing coming from the little nook under the stairs that they had taken refuge in after the money they had kept for their room had run out. Poppy hadn’t known what was happening when pox began to form in little welts all over her and her brother’s skin, nor had she been able to piece it out when her little body was overcome with the shaking, feverish hurt. The next thing that she could remember was the feeling of clammy, wet flash slipping over her fingertips as she tried to find purchase to locate her brother. The moment that she had found Jordie, it was clear that he wasn’t her brother anymore. Just like that, Poppy was alone and the name Reitveld had died.
The fifth was more of an abstract idea than a single event that had happened. Her body had begun to shift and change as she navigated her new life in the Barrel. Her face softened so she looked more like the sugar-coated memories of her mother instead of her brother and father. Her hips had begun to round, as well as her chest. She hadn’t been able to fit in the simple shirts that she stole from clotheslines and had to invest in not only a slip, but a corset to support herself. She hated the way that the constrictive garment fit on her, and she hated the way that she was spoken to even more. Her voice didn’t deepen the way that she had been expecting it to, which had left her uncomfortable and confused. It was more gravely than it had been before she had gotten sick, yet not in the way she had hoped. The changes were unwelcome and uncomfortable in a way that she didn’t have words to describe properly.
---
The Slat was the closest thing to a home that she had since her brother had sold the farm when she was nine. Her room was better described as a closet, but it had a bed and a basin that she could use to wash herself in private. She had a threadbare blanket and a pillow that could be better described as a stack of fabric, but they were hers. The lock on the door was shitty, so the only thing that she consistently left in her room was her spare set of clothes. Her coin pouch was always tucked next to her hip and buried beneath her skirts when she was working. She hated the skirts, but they got their purpose done when she wanted to obscure a revolver or dagger while out on the job.
Poppy had been wearing her singular pair of slacks since she hadn’t been working earlier that day. Not in the traditional sense, at least. She was almost always working on something since her mind and body wouldn’t let her rest unless she had some kind of purpose. Her purpose lately had become bettering the gang that she was involved with. While she was grateful to the Dregs and Per Haskell for keeping her off of the streets, she knew that times were changing and the old man was not. She was going to work to make the house less leaky and the gang more feared even if it killed her, not just for her but also because it would let her tear down a certain Emerald Palace that made her insides burn.
She had stopped by her room to change into something that would make her blend in more with the nightlife that she was going to be patrolling through that evening. She wasn’t looking forward to it, but she had done far more unpleasant and dehumanizing things until she was given a place within the gang. She knew that she always had the option of refusing a job if it was something she really didn’t feel like she could do. Per Haskell liked her and she could argue her way out of just about everything.
She shucked off her pants and then folded them neatly on the end of her bed. She reached down to tug on the hem of her chemise where it had bunched up underneath her corset. It reminded her of how uncomfortable she had been for the duration of her work, so she reached behind her for the bow she had tied with the laces. She undid it and then loosened the garment with well-practiced hands. Even the other women that worked for the Dregs had to help each other to get dressed the way that Poppy dressed, but the feeling of other people being in such a powerful place behind her made her stomach crawl.
She had been feeling uncomfortable with the form that her body had taken against her will since she woke up that morning. It had lessened a bit throughout the day as she had other things to take up that space in her mind, but it was always present. She half figured that she would always feel at least a little bit uncomfortable with her body and the idea of how her skin lay on top of her skeleton after everything that she had been through. Poppy hadn’t exactly grown up in the most stereotypical household, after all.
She needed more of the feminine wiles that she had long since learned to use to her advantage for the job that she was going to be on that evening. She was good at looking the part, distancing herself from the feelings that crept up from the bottom of her stomach and lodged in her throat.
Poppy carefully redid the laces on the back of her corset so that the garment was allowed to actually support her breasts instead of squishing them down so that she looked nearly flat again. She then tugged on her chemise to get it to lay properly before she grabbed the heavily pleated, full skirt from under her bed.
She undid the hook and eye on the back of the garment and then tossed it up over her head. Her arms went into the air to allow the waistband to fit over her chest before it naturally fell down to her waistline. Her nimble fingers then did the clasps up again so that it was secure around her body. She fidgeted with the waistband a little bit longer to make sure that it was seated properly and wouldn’t become uncomfortable. Then came the bodice.
The feeling of the pleats that came with shoving something as billowy as a chemise into something as tight as a bodice was one of Poppy’s least favorite when it came to clothing. It was better than wet rainwater dripping onto her skin, or the touch or another person when she wasn’t coated in layer after layer of protection, but it was still unpleasant.
She tugged the garment on over her chemise and then pulled at the delicately embroidered sleeves. When she had first started working with the Dregs she had barely anything, so she had to make all of the choices for what clothing she’d use for jobs such as her new assignment all at once. She had chosen a chemise with black work around the neck and cuffs so that it would both contrast against her white skin and bring out the darkness of her raven locks. The fact that the embroidery was also blockier in shape instead of the delicate, elegant swirl that the rest of the garments had held was merely a bonus.
She quickly did up the buttons on the front of the bodice so that it was hiding the majority of her corset and her chemise. It was fine for her to have it semi on display when she was wearing her heavy overcoat, giving mere glimpses to the people that passed her by. She hadn’t ever viewed the garment as something that was protecting what other people wanted but rather a way to change her shape and who she was entirely. She was playing a role that night though, so she had to look the part.
Her long black hair was pleated into an even braid that fell down her back as she searched for the iron pins that she had stashed underneath her bed after easily lifting them from a Mercher’s stall. Once she found them, she took the thick braid into her hair and then began to wind it around itself. She tucked the tail further into the swirl so that it wasn’t perceivable by people looking at it from behind her. She placed one of the pins into her mouth to open it before she shoved it into the bun and the hair stretching across the expanse of her head to hold it in place. She did that with all eight of her pins and then picked up the pretty flower barret that she had lifted the week after the pins. She figured that it would help the illusion that she was trying to set even if she felt apathetic at best towards such things.
She glanced her body over as she tugged her thick black gloves over her hands. She looked every bit the part that she needed to for her job, even if she was less than enthusiastic about having to do it. Her clothing was high quality fibers and weaves without being so pricey that someone would try to rob her. She didn’t need expensive makeups for the look she was going through either, the natural curves and hues of her face would do just fine.
Poppy tried to ignore the way that her stomach clenched at the thought. She had seen some of the other Dregs that looked as she did, but she was always more than they were. Her cheeks were rosier instead of having the stubble to shadow it like she so desperately wished for. Her nose was softer and her jawline blended too well into her neck. She was too soft, too delicate, not sharp and bitter like she wanted.
She was working to get there as quickly and efficiently as she could. She didn’t do anything halfway and she got what she wanted, no matter what was standing in her way. She may not have understood why the darkest part of her soul cried and begged for her to look like something that she never could, but it did and she was never one to refuse herself something like that. Power and money could buy her anything, so she harnessed her quick wit into a sharp tongue to make up for the softness of her body.
Tonight, though, the softness would give her the power that she needed.
She grasped her cane from where it had been leaning against the edge of the bed and slotted the birdhead perfectly into her palm. Her gloved fingers naturally wrapped around it and she subtly brushed her thumb along the underside of the beak in a nearly instinctual self-soothing gesture. She turned towards the door and walked out of her room, careful to lock it behind her by pulling out the tumblers after twisting them to the side. It may have seemed ridiculous to pick her own lock every time she wanted to come inside her room, but she just called it practice.
Poppy made her way down the steep stairs of the Slat until she was able to meet the man that she had been informed that she was going to be working with earlier that week when she got her orders. He was a tall Zemini man, short cropped hair and a soft yet angular face. There was a kind of in-betweenness that she wouldn’t quite let herself long for, but subconsciously knew that she wanted.
“Hello there,” the man smiled widely as he caught sight of her. His Kerch was clear and held little accent to it, but Poppy was still easily able to identify exactly where he haled from in Novyi Zem. He held his arm out for her and she begrudgingly took it. There was a reason that the bodice she had chosen had long sleeves and her chemise had even longer ones. Being a woman in a male-dominated space meant that she was more likely to be thrust into a role that required her to be touched and she didn’t want to refuse them. Taking more jobs and being easy to work with would make the boss more inclined to pass his business off to her when he finally kicked the bucket and would let her siphon away power from him while he lived.
“Good evening,” she replied curtly. She let her hand fall into the crevice of his arm but kept her body far enough away from him that they weren’t brushing up against each other. It was nice to have the excuse of a massive skirt when it came to that particular part of her job, she supposed. She would rather just not have to do it at all.
“What’s your name?” the man asked, his eyes still boring into the side of her head as they made their way out of the Slat and into the busy streets of Ketterdam.
She huffed, the words on the edge of her tongue and yet still sounding so wrong when she said them, “You may call me Poppy.”
“Poppy’s a wonderful name,” he beamed so wide that she wanted to punch him in his mouth just to see how many teeth she could knock out.
“Then you can have it, I’ve never been particularly fond of it,” she replied, letting the poison drip from her mouth like it always did. They were still walking side by side, weaving easily through the groups of people like they were a young teenage couple on a stroll to some opera or play instead of two dangerous criminals that were going to be trying to take down a competitor for their boss.
There was a beat of silence and she heard the man take in a sharp breath before he blew it out slowly. He then said, “My name is Kaz.”
“That’s not a very Zemini name,” she replied curtly. She knew that they had to pretend to be making pleasant conversation with each other so that they could go unnoticed while trying to infiltrate the more dangerous parts of the Barrel, but she also detested it.
“I thought that it would be best to pick a Kerch name when I came here as a child,” Kaz replied.
She turned and looked at him, scrutinizing his face for any kind of lie. It wouldn’t be the first time that someone had fed her a bunch of drivel about where they had come from or how tragic their pasts were to try and get closer to her. That was the main thing she hated about the body that she had grown into.
Instead of saying anything or trying to call him out on a bluff, she just turned her head back to the busy street and kept walking.
---
Missions came and went for Poppy, as they always had. Another change had occurred in her life, however, but this one seemed to be more pleasant than the other ones had been. Kaz was becoming a bit of a friend of hers.
She didn’t think that the other Dreg was at all suited for the life that he had fallen into. He was sweet and compassionate, and more than a little ignorant to the world around him. There had been more than one time where Poppy had to grab her dragger from where it was always hidden along her bodice so that she could protect him despite the fact that he carried a pistol on him at all times.
She hadn’t really known how to have friends before, she had been too young and too isolated on her farm when she was young enough to learn that skill. She didn’t make friends with the other Dregs because they were all far older than her and several of them had attempted to come onto her the first time that she had come out of her room dolled up. Kaz had never tried that on her, which she was eternally grateful for.
She often found herself sitting on his bed as he sang to himself, just enjoying his company. They ate together on most days and were paired up to go on missions and jobs more than they were with anyone else. They worked well together, especially when Kaz learned that Poppy didn’t like to be touched and liked being prodded about the same.
The moment of the sixth biggest change in her entire life came during one of those times. Poppy was sitting on the edge of Kaz’s bed, her head turned towards the window so that she could watch the flickering of the lamplight shining down on the passersby, people that were completely unaware of the sinisterness that ran deep within the veins of every person. She was wearing her chemise with her corset done up around her chest to push it down because she couldn’t tolerate the lump that it left when she got dressed that morning. It was the same reason that she had chosen her pants that day despite some of the work that she was told to do.
Kaz was perched on the little stool that he had for the vanity he had bought with the money he saved from working for the Dregs. Poppy didn’t understand why he would want something that expensive when he could have paid for something far more crucial to everyday life. She didn’t question him as she barely understood the minds of others outside of how to get what she wanted from them.
They were both quiet as Kaz picked at some of the little bottles of perfume that he had splayed out over the top of his vanity. “Poppy?” he asked, his eyes flickering up to meet her own in the mirror.
“Yes?” she asked. She had been speaking lower that day, which was helped by the injuries that her childhood sickness had given to her throat.
“How much do you know about Novyi Zem?” he asked, still refusing to turn and look at her.
That gave her pause. She traced her gloved fingers up and down the head of her cane for a moment as she thought about the way that she wanted to respond. Finally, she said, “I would say a fair amount.”
Kaz turned to face her finally and she almost jumped back when she saw the intensity of the emotion in his eyes. Before she had the chance to ask what was wrong with him or why he was acting the way that he was, he said, “I think that I’m a girl. It’s a very common thing in Novyi Zem but it was still going to be so hard to transition if I stayed back in my hometown because so many people had known me as I was but then I came here and it doesn’t seem like anyone is so I just changed who I was so that they wouldn’t find me. But I don’t think that I can keep going on like this. Were you serious about giving me your name?”
For some reason, the idea of switching genders had never occurred to Poppy before. It was likely because she had been too busy pickpocketing people to survive and vividly reliving the worst moments in her life every time she closed her eyes. Having the short first sentence that her friend had said spread out in front of her for the first time left her sitting on his- her, Poppy reminded herself- bed with her mouth open like an idiot.
She had apparently been too quiet for too long because Kaz stood up and bolted for the door, which she locked. Kaz almost never locked her door because she was too trusting, something Poppy had chided her for time and time again. “I’ll give you a month’s wages if you promise not to tell anyone.”
“What? Absolutely not,” she, Poppy shuddered at the reference to himself as that in his own mind. His thoughts were whirring faster than the waters that lapped at the massive stone piers of Ketterdam. Everything that had come with the discomfort of growing up and going through puberty suddenly made sense. The disgust and borderline fit that he had when Jordie had woven all of those blue ribbons into his hair to try and make him look presentable for that godforsaken meeting that ended up being their downfall. The fact that he hated touch was most likely a combined side effect of what had happened on the Reaper’s Barge and the fact that his body did not feel like his own.
The realization that he was a boy rang through his head like the morning bells, waking up a part of himself that he hadn’t even realized existed. “Will you calm down?” he snapped when Kaz was still fluttering about her small room to try and fix her perceived slight on him.
“How can I calm down when I just bared my soul for you and you’re likely going to have me killed for it?” she asked, rather melodramatically, as she sat herself back down on her stool.
“I will do no such thing,” Poppy shook his head. “I was simply realizing that being a different gender than the one that you were assigned at birth is an option for me as well. And plenty of people here are trans, it’s just something that you’re expected to keep rather hushed up. No one talks about themselves as much as you do, Kaz.”
Relief had spread over her features the more that he spoke and reassured her that she was safe with him. The moment that he said her name, she deflated and looked down at where she was worrying her hands together in front of her. “Oh, please don’t call me that,” she murmured.
“Right,” he nodded. “I was never particularly fond of my name but I certainly can’t use it now.”
“What?” she asked, tilting her head up at her friend in surprise.
“You’ve opened my eyes to something that has been staring me in the face since I was ten. I’m a boy and you’re a girl, but we have mismatched names. We should switch,” he replied simply, as if he hadn’t just discovered something that was going to affect his every waking moment from that second forward.
---
Kaz Brekker was born on that late Summer evening. The smell of rain and the perfumes that his close friend Poppy had used soaked into the memory, mixing with the euphoria of being who he was. They had constructed an elaborate hoax where they both disappeared for a while and then returned under the correct genders with the names that they preferred. There were a few people that recognized them and tried to make a stink, but they were quickly dealt with.
Months later, Kaz would become the leader of the Dregs and then promise to buy the building that would become the Crow Club with Poppy. However, he knew that as the leader of a gang he couldn’t have someone that knew something so sensitive about him so close to him. So, despite the fact that she was his only friend, he double crossed her until he was the only owner of the Crow Club. They didn’t see each other again for a long while, until he took an incredibly risky job, but the feelings of resentment she harbored for him could only go so far since Kaz had given her her name.
#fanfiction#fanfic#writing#ao3#archive of our own#grishaverse#shadow and bone tv#shadow and bone#six of crows#soc#kaz brekker#poppy cox#trans kaz brekker#trans poppy cox#opium lidded daydreams fic
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Netflix's Avatar: Toph's Live-Action Debut In Season 2 Gets Teased by Producer (Exclusive)
One of the executive producers on Netflix’s Avatar: The Last Airbender hinted at Toph's introduction in the upcoming Season 2.
Team Avatar is at the core of the series, but one of its key members has yet to appear on screen.
The character in question, a 12-year-old, blind, earthbending master, is first introduced in Book 2 of the original animated series. At this point, one can only assume the creatives in charge plan to stick to the source material, meaning her introduction should be right around the corner.
Introducing Toph in Netflix Avatar's Season 2
Jabbar Raisani, executive producer of Avatar: The Last Airbender Seasons 2 and 3, spoke with The Direct on the red carpet at Paleyfest 2024, teasing Toph's introduction to the series.
When asked how the character’s introduction will change the dynamics of Team Avatar, Raisani said fans will see how "a lot of the dynamics that were true in the animated series come through in live action:"
"We really rely on the animated series. So I think you're gonna see a lot of the dynamics that were true in the animated series come through in live action. It won't be a one-to-one. You can never do a one-to-one, but, you know, expect that feeling all over again."
While Toph will (almost certainly) be introduced, Azula also originally made her debut in Season 2, though she got the privilege of an early introduction in Season 1.
Elizabeth Yu, the actress behind Azula, shared how excited she is to interact with the show’s wider cast and that she "can’t wait to see what the exchanges are like with Team Avatar:"
"I didn't get any scenes with any of the kids in the first season. I got scenes with Daniel [Dae Kim] and Momona [Tamada] and Thalia [Tran], which was so much fun, but I don't know. I can't wait to see what the exchanges are like with Team Avatar and the sibling rivalry. I'm excited to elaborate on that."
“I'm excited to do any scenes from the original series,” Yu shared since all her material in Season 1 was unique to Netflix’s show:
"I mean, I'm excited. In the original series as well, Azula is not on the first season. So, a lot of her introduction is in the second season. It's a really important moment for her. So I'm excited to do any scenes from the original series, like any of our iconic lines."
Arden Cho's June is one character who doesn't appear in the animated show's original Season 2.
The actress was also at Paleyfest. When asked if that might change for Netflix’s upcoming adaptation, Cho admitted she didn't know:
"Unfortunately, I can't speak of that. I don't know. The power will be in the hands of those who hold the pen."
Why Casting Toph in Avatar: The Last Airbender Is Important
Toph is a tough character to cast, and the talent required to pull it off is exceptional, especially for a younger actor. To add pressure to that, her dynamic with the rest of Team Avatar will be crucial to how well the show's final two seasons turn out.
There aren't many obvious picks, either. However, Peter Pan and Wendy’s Diana Tsoy often comes up in fan conversations.
With how the creative team decided to introduce Azula in Season 1 to get ahead of the curve, it's surprising they didn't try to do the same thing for Toph. Perhaps that’ll work out for Toph and give her more screen time.
While Season 2 may not be seen for a long time, casting news for Toph may not be too far out. Fans can probably expect that information to hit the internet not too long before production starts back up.
#natla#atla#avatar the last airbender#netflix avatar#netflix atla#avatar netflix#atla netflix#jabbar raisani#elizabeth yu#arden cho#the direct#paleyfest
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Pixel Plays 01: Heisei Pistol Show
I’ve decided that I wanna write blog posts about games I’ve played recently, how they make me feel, and what lessons I will be taking from them moving forward as a developer. This entire thing is all because playing this game gave me a ton of brain worms and very few people are talking about it online. Lets get to it!!!!
I first heard about Heisei Pistol Show (HSP from now on) by the developer Parun in a lovely video by hazel about one of his other games Re:Kinder. She mentioned it briefly, about how it stars a boy in a lolita dress (which immediately intrigued my gender sense), and how a subbed playthrough could be found on youtube. I tried watching that playthrough, but honestly, the translation was incredibly rough, not to mention hard to follow with how busy the art style is and how fast paced the recording was. I decided to wait on it if a fan translation ever came out, and sure enough, just a year later, we got one! I was super excited that I would finally get the chance to try it out
HSP is primarily exploration based, with Heart, the aforementioned boy in a dress, exploring a strange yume nikki-esque dreamscape with his best and only friend, a talking pistol, by his side. His goal is to find and kill the top three assassins who are standing in his way from getting revenge on his ex-boyfriend. The game loop revolves around exploring to find cash, buying a new gun, and using its special properties to defeat the top three in a sort of turn based puzzle fight. There are no enemies beyond the bosses, so defeating them is more about using the unique properties of the guns to take them down before they can do the same to you. I ended up just running away from all of them upon first encounter to instead find all the money in the game, using it to buy every pistol, and then using the information memos to figure out which ones to equip. The boss fights are really clever, seeming impossible at first glace, but not too hard in the end. The game also offers an easy mode that lets you kill every boss in one normal attack, but where’s the fun in that?!
The part of the game that really gripped me is the art and story. The artwork feels very homemade, but also exudes effort. Lots of bright, flashing colors and intricate programmatic animations precede every first encounter with a boss in a little musical number. The character sprites are very charming in that oekaki sensibility as well. The characters talk to each other like good friends with a lot of history together, which makes the rest of the story that much more tragic as it unfolds.
I’d like to delve into some spoilers as I describe the story here, so if you are interested in playing this game, please please skip this paragraph. Heart’s story was really familiar and difficult to me, as a trans woman. We are shown scenes of his (I will be using he for consistency, but this is debatable in my opinion) childhood in which he wishes to become a princess, and sings along to a princess-themed idol’s song, a pastiche of twinkle twinkle little star. At first, Heart claims the singing made his father happy, but later on we are shown him being abused by his father, seemingly due to that femininity and it’s resemblance to that of Heart’s cheating mother. As the story goes on, we can see that this pain led to an inability to form healthy relationships, as Heart attached himself to his clients as a sex worker, to the despair of the Top Three, who are seemingly representations of the other sex workers, and also ambiguously trans in the way Heart is. Heart’s story is tragic, a trans sex worker, abused and clinging to love, falling to violence and eventually being killed by police. Despite all of this, Heart never loses his cheery attitude and hope that he can one day find happiness, although this takes a dark turn when he believes revenge on his lover is what will bring that happiness.
I really found the story and it’s themes of clinging to hope and happiness in the face of unending misfortune, as well as its thematic interplay of sex and violence challenging and fascinating, and I think it explores the topics it does with a level of nuance greater than many works made today, despite having been developed in 2008 Japan. I also think it succeeds in a lot of the ways recent indie darling Omori, fumbles, especially in regards to story and managing to make a dream world have consequences and meaning within the narrative.
I think some of the lessons I’ll be taking from this are in regards to the art and story. First, I think I will try to allow myself some ambiguity in the stories of my games, especially towards the beginning. For the majority of the game, I had very little clue what was actually going on, and things became more clear over time in a very satisfying “ah-ha!” moment. I’d love to replicate something like that in my games in the future. Secondly, and this is a lesson I’ve learned before, a game having “technically” bad art doesn’t make the art bad. Parun’s artstyle isn’t the most impressive, but it has a lot of charm and beauty, and is completely unashamed of itself. The game allows itself to be loud, colorful, and messy, and I think there’s no other way this game could have been made.
All in all, please give this game a shot! It’s free and pretty short, less than an afternoon’s time (also I need more people to make fanart of Heart he’s so cute).
https://patchy-illusion-team.itch.io/heisei-pistol-show
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You're Awful, I Love You: Part 19
Enver Gortash/Trans Male Tiefling Durge
Sentry made his way home exhausted that evening, his satchel full of vials, bones, and loot. He'd even found some artificial organs in some of his victims. When he thought about it too much, it filled his throat with bile to think how these patriars could keep themselves alive so easily when the people in the lower city and Rivington struggled. How much must these clockwork pieces cost? He shook his head. His purpose wasn't to worry about how people stayed alive, but rather how to cure them of that very temporary state of being. Though he didn't agree with his father on every facet of his purpose, that was one he happily accepted. There was beauty in death and beauty in the dead.
Sceleritas was waiting to receive his cloak and his acquisitions when he walked through the door of the temple. His remaining siblings sat around the common area, even Orin deigning to grace him with her presence. Sentry nodded. Good, this was the time to re-assign Jackal's position.
“Ah, good to see you all, siblings dear.” Sentry raised his arms with a flourish as he entered the room. “As you may have noticed, one of our number is missing. Our darling brother Jackal decided to try and step above his station” He smirked, shaking his head with a little laugh. “And you know? He didn't make sure he had the power to back it up, so of course he had to be disposed of. Anyway, that leaves our information gathering a little lacking....”
“Hmm...well, we know who it won't be.” Tomi giggled, looking at the tall, dour tiefling standing silently in the corner sharpening her scythe. “Not much of a talker unfortunately. But I'm a very good talker and what's more I'm good at getting others talking. I know secrets even Jackal couldn't discover.”
“A fair point, but then again, some things are easier to learn from the shadows than face to face.” Sentry thought a moment. “And that's why, though it truly pains me given how much she still has to learn, I have to assign this task to sister Orin.”
“A wise choice, O Odious One!” Sceleritas bowed at Sentry's side. “ Further proof that your father was right to make you his chosen. You always have the family's best interests in mind...ah even when the choice isn't the one you'd like to make.”
Orin smirked, rising to her feet and bowing low, exaggerated. Sentry rolled his eyes, well aware of the insult. “Yes, BROTHER dear, I will gather the slithering secrets of Baldur's Grave for our family...Thank you for this opportunity.”
Sentry inhaled deeply. “Orin, I swear...you KNOW the name of the city....you live here. You grew up here....It's...”He winced and breathed out a calming breath. “Okay...nevermind, good. Just...take your job seriously. Do it right. Not like your little corpse tea parties.”
The changeling's expression twitched a moment, smirk faltering to a look of pure malice before she forced the smile back on her face. “Hmm.. yes, chosen. I will begin immediately.” And with that, her smirk widened as she shifted into the form of a handsome, smug looking male elf with silver-blonde hair and pale eyes dressed in paladin armor. “This is a trustworthy face, is it not? I think I'll start with this disguise.”
Sentry paled a moment, looking into the face of one of his early victims, the feeling of Darryn's hand forcing his head against the wall of the room the trainees shared. The sound of him smirking, the feeling of his breath on Sentry's neck, but he shook it off, forcing the rage at Orin for bringing back that memory down. “A bit ostentatious, I think.”
Still, she slipped past him still in the form of the young man who'd terrorized him for most of his teenage years. Shaking his head, Sentry made his way across the room towards his door. A calloused hand blocked his path. Gabraela looked down at him with her haunting eyes.
“You are out on your own far too often, chosen. Jackal was hardly the only threat.” She spoke coldly, but there was no threat to her voice, was it worry? Sentry looked up curiously at her. “I don't think you should make these excursions without myself or Sceleritas by your side anymore.”
Sentry shook his head, brushing her aside. “I'm not afraid of Orin. I am Bhaal's own flesh and blood, not a child in need of protecting. Hells, if I'm too weak to protect myself from pretenders and underlings, I deserve whatever's coming to me.” He laughed as he opened his door and closed it behind him, sitting at his desk and spreading out some sketches he'd been working on.
A movement near the sewer grates at the ceiling of his room caught his eye. A flash of white and orange. Then from one of the ledges above his paintings, a pair of frightened green eyes stared down at him.
“Malta? What are you doing here?” He puzzled, standing up and extending his arms to receive the cat. Malta leapt from his perch and into Sentry's waiting arms, curling up there and closing his eyes. “Did you get lost? I'll bring you back to Wysp in the morning.” He whispered, surprisingly gently.
He deposited the cat gently on his pillow and returned to his work. The current sketch was one of a group of gnolls feasting. In a moment of wild fancy, Sentry had decided to plan a painting with a touch of humor to it. The gnolls were dressed in noble clothing with jewel encrusted dining ware set out on the table while humans and elves were displayed like fine cuts of meat. He supposed perhaps it was a commentary on the idea that beasts were more civilized deep down, but really he had to admit he just liked the idea of those adorable bloodstained beasties all dressed up and having a party.
With the sketch finished, he got up to choose a canvas for it before pausing. “Right...His plan....I should see how that's coming along. Guess I got caught up in the thrill of the hunt.”
#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate 3#tiefling#oc#durge#dark urge#writing#OC:Sentry Ojeda#gortash x durge#durgetash#lord enver gortash#enver gortash#fanfic
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