#waiting till I can go on a date with papyrus

[animationismycomfort]

finally got to play undertale on my PlayStation

I’m very happy :)

[ratsoh-writes]

Dealer's choice! The skels have an S/O who's a sort-of ghostbuster. S/O usually tries to mediate between ghosts and the living - either by letting the living be aware of the ghosts' existense and reccomend them a new place to stay or by escorting ghosts to an abandoned place to haunt instead. Usually though, S/O will be called to contain dangerous spirits and sometimes come home a little banged up.

Sans: he doesn’t believe in ghosts (the non monster kind) and thinks papyrus is silly for learning all these tricks from willow. He’s grumpy about your work until you either drag him along for a day or he experiences a haunting first hand

Papyrus: oh wow! A professional!! You’re pleasantly surprised to find that your boyfriend knows almost half of your tricks already. Apparently a guy he calls “older me” has been teaching him how to deal with the paranormal. Papyrus is your eager student and you quickly realize you’ve been dating a gold mine. He can sense the ghosts on his own!

Wine: he’s even more knowledgeable than you on the paranormal. You find yourself referring to wine pretty often. And he adores hearing about your work day. Even if it was kinda boring. Wine does worry about the scrapes you come home with. He winds up getting pretty good at first aid for you

Coffee: he really doesn’t like the idea of his SO messing with ghosts. Coffee already tolerates his brother chasing after them. The poor guy is going to go to an early grave with how much SO I stressing him out

Rust: he absolutely believes in ghosts and would appreciate it if SO checked his daycare once in a while. Lots of small kids put together, especially with the 2 1/2 year old mage, means poltergeists

Noir: if you thought coffee was nervous about your job, wait till you meet noir. He’s a much worse mother hen than the other. Seeing his SO coming home all banged up drives him absolutely nuts. Especially since he’s in no condition to come around with them. Depending how how often SOs job is super dangerous, this could be a deal breaker for him

[imagines4undertale]

Hello there! I am happy to find another blog for these! Hope you are doing well and staying safe. My ask is for Red, Mutt, and Brass. How would they deal with somebody flirting with their s/o and they are clearly uncomfortable? What would the out come be? Again stay safe and take as much time as possible!

I’m doing pretty good all things considered! I don’t have the time I originally thought I would, but I’m still dedicated to getting this blog rolling! This last week steam rolled me with school work so it took me a little longer than it normally will to reply. So, as this is my first ask these answers are going to be a little longer than they will likely be in the future. I hope you enjoy and tell me what you think!

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[UF!Sans(Red)-]

Red is always very protective of his s/o even if he doesn’t always show it outwardly. It mostly comes from taking care of his brother when he was little, so anytime someone he cares for is in danger or scared he is not going to think twice about stepping in. I’d say that the only time someone would get the chance to make his s/o uncomfortable to this degree without stepping in to scare the guy off would be if they seperated at a store or if they were meeting up somewhere for a date night. 

You would be standing on the side of a movie theater with your butt resting on the wall waiting for Red to show up to watch the new thriller that just came out. He’s texting you that he was on his way, but his bro insisted that he put on a clean coat as “HE NEEDED TO SHOW HE WAS AN ACCEPTABLE DATE MATE” and “HE COULDN’T DEFILE THE TERRIBLE PAPYRUS’ IMAGE, BY BEING SUCH A SLOB” and he would be there in a few. Someone taps you on the shoulder, and you look up from your phone to see a guy a few inches taller than you. He tells you that you have nice eyes and that it would be even nicer if you would give him your number. You decline nicely, saying you’re spoken for and are just waiting for your date. His face sours for a moment before he bounces back saying that it’s just a number and it wouldn’t hurt to just give it to him, your boyfriend doesn’t need to know. At this point, your gut is making knots and you feel uncomfortable with how close he’s getting. When he’s practically towering over you, you hastily tell him you’re really not interested in handing your number out to strangers. He looks like he’s about to speak again you see a skeletal hand tightly grip his shoulder. 

“hey bud” Red’s voice rumbles out from behind the guy. ��my lady friend ‘ere doesn’ seem to like your attention.” You could see the man visibly shutter before he turned around to face Red and smacked his hand off. You can see Red’s face from around the man’s arm. If looks could kill. Red’s eyes were empty and his smile looked tight on his face. “if i were you i’d get lost before i make you.” The man seemed to hesitate for a second before he muttered a small “fine” and shuffled around the corner. Red sighs as he relaxes his posture some and looks at you with his pinpricks returning. “you ok sweetheart?” You tell him you’re ok, just a little shaken. He takes your hands and raises them to give a skelle-kiss. “text me next time something like that happens hun, i’ll be there in an instant, angry brother be damned.”

[SF!Papyrus(Mutt)-]

Mutt lives up to his name. He’s like any good mutt dog, he is loyal to a fault, gentle, kinda lazy, but very protective when it is clear his loved ones are in danger. For the most part, his height and general air keeps people away from you, but if people start talking to you he’ll only step in when you seem to be out of your comfort zone. He knows you can take care of your own safety for the most part, so he doesn’t want you to feel like he thinks you can’t take care of yourself by stepping in too soon. 

He’s looking through some different honey mustard at the store and you are halfway down the isle gathering other items on the list. You had offered to go to the store with him and help since his  brother insisted Mutt go so he wouldn’t be late for training with Alphys. It wasn’t something he particularly enjoyed since it required him to move, but going with you made it more than okay. Mostly because you did most of the work. He had almost made the choice between his favorite mustards when he noticed you had started up a conversation with another person in the aisle. He had grabbed a particularly high and stubborn box for you on the top shelf and handed it to you. You seemed thankful and turned back to the list to mark it off. The guy took a look up and down your body, stopping in some not so savory spots. Strike one. You turned back to him when you realized he hadn’t walked off after helping you and he continued to talk to you about something. Your face scrunched up and your smile dropped like a rock at something he said. Strike two. Shaking your head, you told him no and pointed to the list in your hand. He reached his hand up to lean on the shelves and hovered down over you a bit. Mutt felt his body tense, he was just waiting for one movement and he would be there to plant this guy through the linoleum floor. He saw your head turn toward him and your sweet eyes just read help. Strike three. Before the guy could blink his arm was in a powerful vice grip. Mutt felt the tool struggle, but pulled him away from you about five feet before lifting him up by his arm to eye level. “look here buddy, i’m not one to go picking bones, but when a lady tells you to lay off you’d better lay t h e  f u c k  o f f.” Mutt’s voice reverberated off the aisles in an unnatural way like it was echoing of every surface. He dropped the guy flat on his ass, who then proceeded to scramble off and presumably out of the store. Mutt looked back to you only to realize the few people at the ends of the aisle were staring at him warily.

“hey kitty, i think you and i might want to hurry this whole thing up and get out of here.” You continue your shopping at a faster speed with more of Mutt’s help until he lowers his head to your level. “i forgot to ask you back there if you were doing ok. got worried we might get kicked out for that.” You tell him you’re okay, and give him a kiss on the cheek. His bones flare orange for a moment before he smiles and continues down the aisle by your side.

[MF!Sans(Brass)-]

Yeah, Brass isn’t letting anyone you don’t authorize within 5 feet of you unless he knows them. Being in his line of work, he knows that anyone could be a danger to him and the people he loves. If he can’t be with you his brother has to be there, or undyne, or any of the dogs, but never alone in public. So yeah no, this isn’t happening. That being said, if someone within the family tried to flirt with you…

You like to go walk around main street on the weekends to look at the shops and get some fresh air. Normally, Brass will come with you and spoil you with some new dress or a sweet from one of the shops, but today he was called in for a mission. Most of the higher ups of the family had been called in as well so that left you under the care of one of the newer dog recruits. Brass promised you that he would finish up as fast as he could and would make up for it with a nice dinner out that night. You really didn’t mind, you know he works hard despite his lazy label from the rest of the family. What you do mind is the way the new meat was eyeing you. It was common for you to gain attention for being the arm candy of one of the top mafia men of the city, but it didn’t usually land solely on your chest and behind. You had tried to make small talk with him as you did with many of your temporary guards, but most of it came back to your looks or why you were with your skeletal lover when you could get with anyone. Eventually, you just opted for silence instead.

You saw a store you visit regularly and went to push open the door. Quickly, your dog guard pushes in behind you one hand on the door to push and one firmly placed on your rear. It pasted in the blink of an eye, but it had happened nonetheless. You feel the urge to scream at him and run off, but that would call attention to you and leave you without protection till you got home. There had been more than one attempt on your life at this point and as much as you hated this, it was better than the alternative. You bought the things you wanted from the shop and walked back out of the shop, this time making the dog leave first, and told him you wished to head back home. The two of you started on your way back with him about a foot behind you. Everything was fine until you had turned the corner near where you had parked and he pulled you into an alleyway by your wrist. He slammed your back into the wall and pinned you in with his arms on either side of your head. 

“What on earth do you think you’re doing!” You yell in his face as you push on his chest to get him off.

“Oh come on, I want a little of what the Boss man is getting. How much is he paying you for your services? I’ll match it and he’ll be none the wiser.” He leaned down with a wolfish grin as he reached down to lift your skirt.  

“I am NOT a prostitute!” You swiftly knee him in the balls and shove him away from you. The dog stumbles back clutching his wound. He looks up at you and raises a clawed hand to bring down on you before he is grabbed by the back of his jacket and tossed like a wet rag out of the alley. Brass stands before you now with heaving breaths. 

“sorry i’m late toots.” He quips to you before following the dog he just bounced off the concrete. “might wanna to stay there till I finish this up.” 

You hear screaming from outside the alley with what sounds like some rushed apologies and a particularly loud crack. Brass walks back into the alley after about 10 minutes with the dog in toe, tail between his legs. He has a particularly large bruise on his eye and is clutching his arm. His apology is long and he ends it with a deep bow to you. 

“‘right you mutt, be on your way before i break something else.” Brass flicks his head toward the alley entrance and the dog bolts off with a noticeable limp. Once he’s gone, Brass gives an audible sigh and picks you up bridal style. You attempt to protest, but he insists he take you to the car. “i know you’re not a fan o’ my tactics when it comes to these things love, but i have to make sure they know who’s boss.” He places you gently in the passenger seat of the car before getting in the driver’s site. “now, how’s ‘bout i take us home and we eat in tonight instead? I’ll spoil you n’ everything sugar.” He winks as he starts up the car. 

(First answer, and I hope you like it, tell me what you think!)

[creative-poptart]

Okay, so I'm gonna be a angsty lil sht and ask for the previous ask about so returning from the army, but with us and sf instead.... so didn't make it home though in my ask.

I’m in the mood for some angst right now, so sad times up ahead! Readers be forewarned! I can both make you feel fuzzy and tear your heart to shreds!

US Sans/Blue: He’s anxious for your return the moment that you leave to go out to serve for your country. Of course, there are letters that get exchanged between the two of you, and each one warms his soul a little more. Blue stashes them into a little box next to his bed so that whenever he feels a little lonely, he can read them to feel better. Your return date comes quickly, and he’s so excited that Stretch can barely keep a handle on him. Every day, he proudly announces that it’s one day closer and closer until someone is knocking on the door. They’re in an official uniform of your branch, looking somber and like they were just crying. Blue’s smile will fade as they explain you were killed in action and that you had one last letter for him. He never opens it. It’s going to take him years to get over your death, and even then, he’s not quite the same as before, more serious and less bubbly. It hurts everyone, but no one more than him. 

US Papyrus/Stretch: While he’s not openly displaying his emotions to everyone, they all know that he misses you something terrible. You’re not around, but he’ll forget every now and then, going to ask you a question and then remembering with a sad shake of his head. Stretch is counting down the days till he can talk to you face to face because the rare video calls he gets from you aren’t cutting it. The last one you two share, he gets a bad feeling about for some reason, so he tells you to be careful and records the whole thing for his keeping. The moment he hears about your entire battalion being ambushed and no survivors, he shuts down. Nothing matters much to him anymore, so Stretch is chain-smoking and drinking until he can’t remember why his soul hurts so badly, just that it hurts. He won’t really recover from losing you, but he will end up getting to therapy and becoming at least semi-functional in life again.

SF Sans/Black: He’s the most calm about waiting for your return, gladly keeping up his work life and home life. Black isn’t unaffected, per se, but he’s the best at keeping how he feels under wraps. The letters you two pass back and forth are sufficient at keeping his soul soothed, especially since you put a small dab of your preferred scent on the corners. He, in return, puts a dot or two of his bone cologne on his letters to you, which always makes him smile. Your last letter arrives three days before he gets the news that you were hit by shrapnel and died from your injuries. Black shuts himself down emotionally, refusing to acknowledge any of the letters in his drawer and throwing himself headlong into his work. He’s the best worker there is in his line of work but at the cost of never being home anymore because everything reminds him of you. It’ll take far too long for him to even begin to slow down, and only because Rus needs him also.

SF Papyrus/Rus: He’s the worst about hiding his emotions in regards to you anyway, so this is no different. Rus is always eager to keep you close, and when you had to leave, he was already heartbroken. Each video call is recorded so he can see your face, hear your laugh, watch you smile just one more time before bed. You two talk about the future when you get home, and he’s considering proposing to you if he gets the chance, but you don’t know, of course. He’s at home, rewatching a video call when the phone rings, and the news is delivered that you went into battle and didn’t come back alive. He’s so broken over the news that at first, he can’t even really cry, he’s so stunned. It’s only after Black asks him who was on the phone that the dam bursts, and he’s a sobbing wreck. You were his last love. He’s sworn off romance for the rest of his days because of how devastated he was at the news, and recovery isn’t happening.

Thanks for the angst ask, Anon!

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Keyholes (spicyhoney)

Summary:  Nothing good ever came from listening through keyholes.

WARNINGS: How to warn for this...Okay, there is some implied non-con here. Not graphic, nothing more than some talking, but I want to warn. Some implications of LV, some dark humor.

There was a thing on Twitter briefly where people were discussing that it’s rather sweet when Red plays the overprotective brother with Underswap Papyrus, especially if he happens to be dating Edge. This is where my 4 am brain demanded I go with it.

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

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It was late by the time Red came home and he was pretty damn careful not to let the door slam shut as he crept in. Boss usually got pissy about him staying at Grillby’s till closing time, but since his bro had started dating the honey bun, he’d gone a little lax on a few of the rules. Not too lax, not yet, and was something to keep tabs on; pulling that stick in his brother’s pelvis out a few inches was all right, but there was a huge fucking difference between a little easier and going soft. Swinging too much in the other direction was a good way to end up in a dustpan. Not that Red thought Edge was gonna be ready for a soft-serve cone anytime soon, eh, but it paid to keep an eye out. For now, it seemed to be working out pretty well in everyone’s favor. Nobody’d asked his opinion, but Red actually thought Rus was pretty damn good for his bro. Gave him someone else to bitch at, finally helped clue his brother into the fact that not all afternoon naps were a bad thing and…aw, fuck it. Even Red could admit there was something to the way Edge looked at the honey bun, too. Rus made him happy and there were damn well few enough things in his bro’s life managing that. He could have a pass on this one. Red yawned. Fuck, he was tired. Not drunk, noooo, not on his own, he wasn’t that fucking stupid. Still pleasantly buzzed and he was looking forward to hitting his mattress. He still took the time to line up his shoes at the door, playing the odds that if he didn’t leave anything to piss his bro off in the morning, then he might just get to sleep in a little. Worth a shot. The stairs were daunting, and he was almost tempted to shortcut. Keeping ‘em quiet took effort though and in the end, he decided the stairs were the winner, if only to make sure he didn’t wake Paps. It was when he was creeping past his bro’s door that he discovered his brother wasn’t asleep, and what he heard made the marrow freeze in his bones. “no!” Distinct, even through the door, Rus’s voice and Red stilled, all the easy warmth of the evening draining away as he listened. “let me go.” Raggedly pleading, hoarse, like maybe he’d been crying or screaming, what in the name of fuck— “no more, please, i want to go home!” “You are home, pet, you belong to me.” His brother’s voice and the faint, feeble hope that somehow someone’d gotten past their security, broke in and—no, that was his brother like he’d never heard him, his voice rough, eager, even as he crooned, “Shhh, I’ll take care of you, give you everything you need. Be a good boy now—“

“no! i want to go home to my brother, let me go, please!” “You’re mine!” Snarled out, viciously enough to send a prickle up Red’s spine like a memory of sin. “Say it!”

“no!” Broken little word, said again and again, until it was little more than a sob.

“No? Oh, I think I can make you say it. I think you’ll be begging me soon enough.” Whatever else Rus tried to say was muffled, cut off, and Red forced himself not to think of how. Red stood, didn’t even notice he wasn’t blinking until his aching sockets reminded him. He could taste the sweat beading on his skull, dripping down his face and over his teeth. This wasn’t…this was all kinds of fucked up, this wasn’t possible. Edge was a hardass, yeah, he ran Snowdin like a fucking general, not just captain of the guard…and he made sure all the kids here had enough to eat, made sure all the supplies were divvied up equally, fuck it, he even checked up on that old Bun granny to make sure her walkway was cleared after a storm. He wasn’t like those LV-crazed loonies out in Snowdin woods, the souleaters who didn’t care who they killed or fucked, he wasn’t… Another cry came from the room, Rus’s voice, wild and pained and fuck. Okay. Okay, something had happened, something had obviously fucking broke, but he couldn’t let his bro do this. Maybe Rus would never forgive him, but if he stopped it, Edge might eventually be able to forgive himself. Yeah, and Asgore might declare Fridays as Spank My Fuzzy Ass day, but he had to try. Red stood at the door, not listening to the muffled whimpers as he summoned up his magic, breathing deeply and mentally clawing together his control before he kicked it in. The room was dark, but he could see enough; a pair of skeletal hands chained to the headboard, rucked up blankets, his brother on top, jerking towards the busted door too late as Red reached, turning his soul blue and yanking him away. He was moving before his brother even bounced off the wall, dodging the attack he already knew would be coming. Had to give the boss credit, he was quick, and the bones came close enough that Red could feel the virulence of his intent. He tightened his grip on Edge’s soul, dragging him down, up, dodging another attack and— “woah, fuck, stop! edge, it’s your brother, it’s red, stop it!!” Red felt as much as saw his bro go limp in his hold, dangling against the wall and didn’t let up, could be a trick, trying to get him to let down his guard and…wait. Red blinked owlishly as his focus eased enough to let him see more than the threat he had pinned down. Rus was…standing, and yeah, that was more bone than he’d ever wanted to see from the honey bun, but the cuffs were dangling from the headboard, empty. “red, let him down, yeah?” Rus didn’t get closer to him, only held out his empty hands, palms up as he said, soothingly, “c’mon, it’s okay. it’s all good here, it was only a game. you know, the big bad kidnaps the sweet little innocent, takes him captive, all that shit?” “a game?” Red echoed blankly, and then, “you, innocent?” Rus shrugged. “i work with what i’ve got.” He reached out, pressing very gently on Red’s extended hand, didn’t even flinch as Red’s magic arced, dancing across his pale bones like lightning. “but he wasn’t hurting me, we were only playing. let him down, okay?” Oh. Hastily, Red withdrew his magic, dragging it back in hard enough that he almost gagged. Edge slid down the wall, landing lightly on his feet, but Red didn’t stay to see if his bro had anything he wanted to add to the group chat. He just turned on heel and out, yanking the busted door mostly shut behind him. Probably should’ve gone to his room, but his feet were on autopilot and took him downstairs. Red plopped down on the sofa and hey, maybe it was time for a game of his own. See how long he could keep his mind totally blank before he either fell asleep or maybe the world could reset for him. Worth a try. He couldn’t say how long he got to play, but it wasn’t fucking long enough. He heard the rattle of the broken door opening above him and footsteps on the stairs. Untied sneakers came into view, shuffling along, before the sofa next to him sagged. “here.” A pack of cigarettes dropped into Red’s lap and he heard the rasp of a lighter, the first whiff of burning tobacco. “he’s gonna kill you.” Rus shrugged. “he already let me smoke one upstairs. might as well take advantage of it while i can, since i’m not getting off tonight. i’ve seen some wrecked moods, but that one was like tokyo after godzilla gave it an afternoon stroll.” “sorry.” He wasn’t, really, probably wasn’t a word outside of that jabberwocky poem to quantify how he felt right now, but it seemed like the thing to say. Red held out a hand and Rus dropped his lighter into it. “nah,” Rus blew out a cloud of smoke, “it was kinda sweet. thanks, cowboy. sorry my damsel in distress was less hollywood and more porn star.” “keep your thanks, it ain’t helping,” Red groaned. Rus ignored him and went on contemplatively, “just a heads up, edge might never be the same. think he’s testing if it’s actually possible to die of embarrassment, but i managed to talk him out of jumping into any of the lava pits in hotland.” Hastily, Red lit his own cigarette and took a hard drag. Nicotine wasn’t much, but when you were drowning, any straw you could grab looked like a cruise ship. A sharp elbow nudged Red in the ribs, making him cough, “know what i think? you two should start practicing the fine art of repression and bury this night under a rockslide. lemme know if you need help, i’m an expert.” Yeah, that was the best idea Red had heard in fucking years.

Rus stood up, clenched his half-burned butt in his teeth as he stretched with bone-popping force, groaning out, “welp, i’m gonna head home. that’ll learn us to keep it down. honestly, i’m looking at it as a positive.”

“a positive,” Red said flatly.

“yep. if it’d been my bro who heard us in there, edge might still be trying to wedge a boot out of his ass.”

Huh, that was probably true. Guess there were a few small favors left in the worlds.

Rus was gone with a wave and a shortcut, and Red finished his smoke, leaving the ash in a little pile on the coffee table because hell, at least he could stand to hear the boss bitch about that. He didn’t know when he fell asleep, but he woke up to the feel of something soft being draped over him. Pretty damn tempting not to look; he’d probably be allowed to wallow in the blissful land of ain’t fucking thinking about it for a while yet. But eh, sometimes you just had to rip off that bandaid. Red opened his sockets, blinking up at his brother, who only finished tucking the blanket around him before moving to sit by his feet.

Welp, here was a tension you could cut with a knife and serve up with nice, cold glass of humiliation.

“boss,” Red started, then stopped, letting the word dangle between them.

“Shut up,” Edge said brusquely. His arms were crossed over his chest, his cheekbones stained garishly red, and he was grinding his teeth so hard Red expected him to spit out a mouthful of dust. But all he did was sit, looking anywhere but in Red’s direction as he muttered, “Thank you.” There were novels to be read between those lines, but Red could make do with the cliffnotes. Edge wasn’t stupid; he had LV, he knew what that could mean, the could happens and what ifs.

So Red only strangled out a gruff, “yeah, sure.” Then, louder, “all in favor of never speaking a fucking word about this again?”

“Aye,” Edge said dryly. “Would you like breakfast before we head for the dump to look for a new door?”

“breakfast would be great, boss,” Red said fervently. That was it. His bro didn’t say another word, only stood up and headed for the kitchen. Red glanced at the coffee table, the cigarette ash, and almost swept it away.

Nah, might do his brother good to have something he could actually bitch about and Red could stand a lecture today about keeping the house in order, please and thank you, if only to help scrub the inside of his skull clean of any lingering memories.

Repression: Start.

-finis-

[ihaveanimagine]

(@skellesins, I finally got your ask finished! I hope you don’t mind it’s a bit sloppy >.< Anyways I hope you enjoy!)

(From the 390 Prompt List)

11. “Be my wife”

16. “Come back to bed”

Underswap!Papyrus (Honey)

There was nothing you loved more than seeing your beloved honey boyfriend on stage. No, not a theater stage (although he had been tempted to try out for a comedic play that had Death as a main character).

Honey was on a stand-up comedy stage, microphone in one hand, honey flavored lollipop in the other with his trademark lazy grin as he rattled out puns and jokes.

“And this supposed to be a stand up comedy right?” Honey said, gesturing to the stage “Well if this is stand up, why do we have a stool?!” He grabbed the stool and shook it aggressively and people started howling.

“Like seriously, this isn’t a sit-down show like Dr. Phil!” Honey leaned on the stool and chewed his lollipop while the crowd calmed down a bit “I mean, I get why we need the stool, you’re up here for a long ten maybe twenty minutes rattling off dozens of terrible jokes so the audience can give us sympathetic laughs.”

The audience burst out laughing again, no doubt they were still cringing from the last comedian’s routine that centered around snot and rubber chicken.

“Oh and there’s also muscle cramps! Few of my coworkers have that-“ He bent down and tapped the part of his leg were his calf would be “Man, muscle cramps are the worst right?”

He got a lot of nods and a few chuckles before propping his foot up in the stool and motioned to his bones. “Of course, I get muscle cramps all the time-“

The audience roared with laughter and Honey had to stand there for a about a minute, exchanging amused looks with you before he was able to continue.

“Anyway, as I was saying: I get the worst muscle cramps ever! I mean they get bad enough to the point where I can’t even feel my leg! It feels like it’s just all bone!” He got a few groans from that last line but it was mostly laughs.

“My poor girlfriend has to deal with me and my muscle cramps all day, isn’t that right, Sweets?” Honey asked, throwing you a wink and charismatic grin.

You nodded and grinned mischievously “Oh yeah, any time I walk in the room you’re just on the floor screaming: I NEED SOME MILK!!” You shouted that last part like the vine and the ones who caught your reference cackled hard enough to start coughing and Honey gave you and exaggerated pout.

“I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’m the one up here when it’s obvious she’s the better comedian.” Honey joked, throwing you a wink before motioning for you to join him on stage.

Normally you hate being called on stage to do stuff but Honey knew your limits and would never say or do anything to make you uncomfortable. As you walked up to the stage, a few people applauded and Honey began moving stuff around so you could easily hop up the stage and were in view of everyone.

Once you were up there, Honey greeted you with a quick kiss to the lips before hugging you and turned back to the audience, one arm snuggly wrapped around your waist.

You let your head rest on Honey’s shoulder and wrapped an arm around him as Honey resumes his routine.

“Anyway, everyone, this is my wonderful girlfriend of 3 years.” He grinned when a few people applauded and whistled. You grinned and tilted the microphone towards you and Honey held it up for you.

“By that he means we’ve known each other for 8 years and it took both of us 5 years to ask each other out on a date.” The audience burst out laughing and Honey grinned proudly “Toldja she was the better comedian.”

After the crowd calmed down Honey turned back to you “Speaking of our 8 years of knowing each other, I gotta question for ya.” He cleared his throat and tried to hide his sudden nervousness.

“Okay, you know how I told you that when us monsters find someone who completes us we usually give each other some kind of token?” You nodded and held up the necklace Honey gave you last year for Gyftmas.

“You have yours?” You asked him with a smile and Honey chuckled and took out a keychain from his pocket that was a honey pot with a cartoon bee on a lawn chair with the captions “Lazy Bee”.

You grinned proudly and Honey kissed your head before turning back to the audience who was cooing over how cute you two were being.

“Anyways, it has come to my understanding that humans also give each other a small token when they find someone who completed you.” Honey took a deep breath and knelt down in front of you before putting his hand in his pocket.

You felt your eyes widen and tears well up as you covered your mouth with your hands, silently asking Honey if this was real. He nodded and grinned up at you before speaking again.

“Now, before you say anything, I promise this isn’t from one of those popular jewelry stores you hate.” You laughed and briefly recalled telling Honey that if you both get married that you refuse to spend your hard earned money on a shiny rock that’s overhyped and overpriced.

“I made this with Undyne and Muffet, you know those days when I told you I was going out to practice some lame puns at the grocery store to see how people react?” Honey waited till you nodded before taking out a small box and opened it, revealing a beautiful but simple ring with a gem the color of Honey’s magic and yours swirled together in a way that gave off a faint glow.

You faintly heard people gasp and whisper but Honey ignored them and kept on explaining. “When I was out of the house, they were helping me make this. Uh, the band is made from metals up here but the gem is from Underground and some of my magic. You know those glowing rocks we used as stars? It’s kinda the same thing.”

You felt your heart melt and you reached out to touch the gem, you remembered telling Honey that you thought the glowing rocks in Waterfall were beautiful but you never imagined he’d do something like this for you.

“Uh, I’m getting off track, shoot-“ Honey coughed in his hand and quickly took the ring out of the box and held it out to you.

“A-Anyway, uh, my point was Monsters give each other tokens of affection as part of our uh, courting process, and humans give each other tokens of affections to begin the next level of relationships so…” Honey blushes bright orange and looked up at you with love and adoration in his eyes.

“(Your full name), will you be my wife?”

Swapfell!Papyrus (Russ)

When you and Russ first met, you would never take him for a cuddler. He had two gold fangs, a thick collar on his neck, and lazy glare seemed to deter anyone from even trying.

But once you got to know him, you discovered the exact opposite. Russ showed his affection for friends by using them as chin rests, falling asleep on top of them when he felt like it, and was always finding some way to lean on you for warmth and comfort.

Sometimes you thought he was so touchy with his affections was because he was touch starved but most of the time you felt like he did those things because he thought you were a comfy human blanket/mattress.

But then the two of you started dating and you realized he loved being physically affectionate because he was a cuddle-addict.

Despite being one of the tallest people you’ve ever met, this lanky skeleton always found ways to curl around you, curled up on your lap or stomach, wound his arms around you at every possible moment.

It was both endearing and slightly annoying, especially at times like right now.

You and Russ were in bed, he was fast asleep with his arms wrapped around yours, trapping you to his chest. He had his legs wrapped around yours and his head was perched right above yours.

Normally you loved how cuddly your husband was, he was always really warm and even though you’ve been married a full 3 years by now, he held you like it was his first time staying in the same bed with you.

But right now it was highly inconvenient. You and Russ had a newborn baby girl and she was currently going through her phase of waking up in the middle of the night to scream and cry.

Russ slept like a rock and most of the time didn’t hear her which left you to be the one to go and rescue her from whatever made her cry.

All you had to do was escape your mate’s vice grip. Which was easier said than done.

It took you awhile but you managed to wriggle out before grabbing a spare blanket to wrap around yourself before heading to the baby’s room.

A few minutes later, the baby was still crying and you were walking around the room trying to get her to settle and Russ began to wake up, noticing his favorite cuddler wasn’t with him.

He glanced over to the baby monitor and heard you singing a lullaby while the baby cried. With a small whine he got up and went to the baby room to see you patting the baby’s back as she cried.

“Having trouble?” Russ teased before giving you a tired smile. You threw your husband a look and sighed “I’ve changed her diaper, I’ve burped her, she doesn’t wanna eat, she keeps throwing away her toys and pacifier, and I’ve tried walking with her and singing to her but nothing is working!”

Russ winced when he saw how exhausted you were and he held his arms out and took the baby from you and cradled her while you plopped into the rocking chair.

“Hey there, baby bones!” Russ cooed at the screeching baby “What are you being fussy for? Can’t sleep?” He held her close to his soul and tried to calm her by keeping her close to his soul.

He didn’t really know much about babies but Queen Toriel had pulled him aside after his baby was born that sometimes monster infants can be calmed with the presence of their parents’ souls.

It seemed to work briefly because the baby opened her eyes and pouted up at Russ, causing him to laugh.

It wasn’t his fault! His baby was just too precious and she had your pout!! The baby however, didn’t appreciate the laughing because her crying started back up.

You sighed and joined Russ and pressed a kiss to her head “Come on, sweetheart, go to sleep.” At the sound of your voice, the baby turned to you and her crying died down a bit.

“…..What just happened?” You asked, confused but grateful she stopped crying. Russ bounced her in his arms and shrugged “I guess she just wanted to make sure both of us were here.”

You yawned and gently tugged Russ back to your bedroom “Come back to bed, we can cuddle her there.” Russ chuckled and kisses his baby’s head again “You’re a little banshee, aren’t you?”

You flopped back on your bed and Russ carefully got in beside you. When the baby started getting fussy again, you moved so your head was near your daughter’s and gently rubbed her head.

“Easy, sweetie, your Papa and I are right here.” You yawned and sleepily wrapped an arm around Russ and your husband responded by laying the baby down his chest so he can keep an arm wrapped around the two of you.

Hopefully his excellent cuddling skills could put the two of you asleep for the rest of the night.

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

Blame It on Your Beats

Bucky x Reader Series

Chapter Content: Fluff

Summary: A brush with the underworld leads you on a run, away from what was supposedly your normal life, with Bucky Barnes. You two do not seem to be in sync as Bucky tries to keep you alive, trying your best not to kill each other. Or that’s what you think you are doing.

Series: contains smut, adult content in there somewhere in the future chapters so please look at the chapter content and warnings before you proceed.

Chapter Warnings: Explosion, death threats. The usual, really.

A/N: This series is written for @littledarlinhavefaithinme ‘s MK Writing Challenge. Thank you so much for hosting. I am having a lot of fun with the prompts. I hope I can do justice to them and put the entire series up before the deadline. :D

JBB tags, please let me know if you’d like to be tagged in further chapters.

MASTERLIST

“Are you sure you don't need glasses?”

“...No.”

“It's okay if you do. It's quite common at this age.”

“Shut up, Stark,” Bucky declared through the comms, getting stifled laughs from the other end.

“It's in another language. I'm not familiar with the Devnagri script,” the soldier murmured as he sifted through the pages in the journal in front of him to find some sort of code to decipher the words alien to him.

��Friday can trans-wait you don't have a body cam,” Stark was practically talking to himself right now.

Bucky had been sent down on an espionage mission to Brennwood Estate-  home of Eton Brennwood, world’s current strongest business tycoon along with a back-end dealer in arms in the black market along with being an infamous hoarder of the ancient artefacts- to figure out the codes for Eton’s underground lab where he had been keeping scientists to develop a new biotech for some really shady buyers around the world.

Natasha and Bucky had been the only choices amongst the entire team, considering their skills, but the former had already been compromised due to her recent recon on Brennwood where she had played a key role in finding out when and where the businessman was keeping his experiments hidden and his buyers on their toes regarding whatever he was considering of bringing on the table.

“Send us a picture, Bucky,” Natasha's voice directed him.

Bucky suddenly froze for a moment, his eyes darting towards some unknown void in front of him as his heartbeat accelerated a bit.

“Bucky?” Steve called out for confirmation, making the sergeant reach inside his jacket to take out his phone and stare at it for one elongated, terrifying moment.

“You do know how to take a picture from your phone, right Buck?” Sam asked, his voice dripping in pure mischief, making Bucky curse at the man internally.

Burner phones were so much easier to deal with. Why did everything have to ‘smart’ now? Was his only thought.

He flinched as the screen on his phone lit up with an unknown number asking him to video call.

“Uhh…”

“It's me,” Tony spoke in his ear, “slide the lock on the screen to accept my call so we can translate the code for you.”

Following his simple and clear-cut instructions, Bucky managed to flip the screen towards the journal on his second try, getting an encouraging cheer from all the Avengers huddled together in the Quinjet around the screen.

“Okay, that’s it,” Tony announced as he shifted in his chair to reveal a tired Pepper enter the study from behind him, “good job Barnes. Let others take care of the rest. Get out of the estate now before they smell out the old man stink and find you.”

“Very funny, Stark,” Bucky mumbled as he ended the call by tapping the red button, a little happy on the inside that his relationship with Tony was making some progress these days.

And just like the silent breeze that was blowing over the trees, not making its presence felt till it had passed by him, leaving him comparatively colder than before, he made his way out of the heavily guarded estate, taking the dark forest trail towards the road about a few miles from the place where he had parked his bike.

He kept getting the updates over the comms, as the team infiltrated Eton’s lab, making his walk back a lot less tiring when Sam was not on his back quipping him about everything he did.

“No guards on level one,” Sam’s voice stated over the comms, “Brennwood better not have hired some ripped scientist to save on security guards. That is one really bad combination right there.”

“Excuse me?” Banner’s questioning voice came from beside Tony. He had clearly taken over from where Tony had been a few moments ago.

“Because they are strong and smart. Not to mention they can make any freaking poison at the turn of their hand, man.”

Bucky forced out a silent laugh.

“Yeah, makes it hard for Sam to jump up to their IQ level with just his fists,” he articulated.

“I have a suit, I can fly over their goddamn IQ and look good while doing it. Shut up, Barnes.”

Tony was watching the progress of the team while convincing Pepper that there was no chance of him missing their dinner date tonight as everything was going smoothly and the team would have all the evidence to put Eton behind bars for a long time.

“Tony,” Pepper enunciated, “don’t promise me things that are sure to turn ugly sooner or later, okay? We can have dinner over here and Bruce can join us-”

Bruce turned in the chair-away from the screen- on the mention of his name, his face filled with berries that he was eating from the bowl Tony had offered him.

“I thought we had a date. Why would Bruce join us on a date? Are-are you breaking up with me?”

Pepper’s expression went blank for a second.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“Tony, we’ve been married for a year now. I am not breaking up with you,” she sighed.

A monotonous chime over the screen turned everyone’s attention to a signal coming out from the Avenger’s facility.

“Level two clear,” Natasha responded from the other side, her body cam showing no heat signatures on the floor...

Bruce looked at Tony regarding the unknown signal before accepting the call.

“Level three clear,” Steve announced, “guys, I don’t like it.”

Bucky’s pace slowed down a bit before he regained his normal gait.

“I agree with Steve,” Natasha acknowledged, “there’s no one in sight here. Not even the scientists. Tony, did we decipher the text correctly?”

Everyone who was not at Tony’s place at that point paused their movements when they did not get a quick reply from Stark.

“Tony?” Steve spoke next, a hint of worry in his voice that only Bucky could trace.

“Barton,” Clint’s mechanical voice came over the comms, confusing everyone for a second.

“Clint?” Natasha’s voice tried to reaffirm, “I thought you had gone home for the holidays.”

“...I am home for the holidays. Which one of you morons called me? I lost to my son in Mario Kart so whoever it was, better have some good explanation behind this.”

__________

“How can something be so beautiful?”

You exhaled as your eyes took in the beauty of the symbols laying down in front of you- the thick papyrus dating back centuries- making you squirm internally at the luck of not being able to read and preserve one with your own eyes and hands.

“Miss Friday” you called out into the air, a jump in your step, “could you please pull up Miss Dur’s instructions on how to go ahead with the preservation process?”

“Of course, Miss Y/L/N. You can just call me Friday. If you want I can help you out by walking you through Miss Dur’s entire preservation process.”

You chuckled as your hands went into your bag to take out your earphones. “I’ll call you Friday when you call me Y/N. And I’m good with the display though. I want to enjoy a bit of my playlist tonight while working. So, just make sure you I don’t get any messages on my display while I’m working; no matter how important. No hard feelings, my good AI?”

“No hard feelings, Y/N.”

You gave a thumbs up in the air before putting on your earphones and readying the chemicals to wash the papyrus that would help conserve its original content.

Once all the contents were ready, you pressed play and so began the curing process to the surreal beats going about in your head.

It seemed like a passing dream.

A month ago you were studying on an entirely different continent, getting through your second year in college with no perfect plan for the future. A double major in semiotics and cryptography had seemed like a brilliant idea before college when most of the professors didn’t seem like dull creatures keeping an eight am class just so they could spit their misery of leading a sad unhappy life unto you, making you nearly hate the subject you had been looking forward to. Had it not been for a few of your seniors, three to be specific, and one professor- who not only helped you through the entire ordeal, but also made sure you were displaying your untapped talent in different competitions both on and off campus- you were sure you would have quit college a long time ago.

Two weeks earlier you were entered into a competition online by one of your seniors- Lena- where you nearly bypassed your way through some gaming portal’s fictional facility’s security because someone thought it was a brilliant idea to encrypt the entire building’s signal on their personal chart of symbolism. Fortunately for you, when the rest of your opponents were busy comparing smiley faces to emotions, you were looking for the origin- the chart- because no matter how good anyone is, they always will keep a backup of the blueprint any idea was based on.

It was only ten hours later when the local police entered your college dorm to bring you in for questioning did you realise that you had actually been breaking codes for some really bad guys on the dark web, who had been using noobs like you to enter secure facilities- not really fictional- and rob them of whatever sensitive information they had on them. You were to be thrown in prison for aiding some professional invisible lethal forces in bypassing the security to one America’s top 500 companies had it not been for Tony Stark himself taking full responsibility of the situation as well as giving you a full scholarship for your further studies at a college of your choice while interning at Stark labs as well help Scott Lang into making the his security system better- considering you’d broken through his two month’s work in just an hour.

So, here you were, a week later with all your life in your suitcases, living at the Avenger’s facility, working on an old story depicted in symbols- an artefact Stark said he had ‘borrowed from a bad guy who thinks this has some code to something he can use for his evil plans. We have to find the code before him to stop him.’

Bopping your head you swung your hips to Childish Gambino’s Summertime, your fingers worked steadily over the old fabric, making everything the solution touched a hue brighter with the wetness. So engrossed were you in the careful work mixed with a tang of heated music, you never noticed the alarms off around you, the lights everywhere- save the lab that had the power connections of its own, separated from the rest of the facility- shutting down, the backup red lights turning on as two silhouettes came out of the elevator doors from the far corner of the floor towards you.

The track changed, so did your movement, making you swing around to grab the final solution to dry up the fabric before putting it somewhere safe. By the time you were done with the drying agent, the silhouettes came and stood by the glass-walled lab, looking at you with sheer curiosity till you caught their movement from the corner of your eyes and tilted your heads towards them before taking out your earphones.

Two well-built men dressed in combat suits stood outside the lab entrance, one of them giving you a soft smile as he waved his hand at you.

You took out your earphones to acknowledge their presence.

“Can I help you?”

The smiley man scratched his stubble and chuckled at some internal joke while the other one just stood there like a rock.

“Sure, sweetheart,” his husky voice cooed, or rather tried to coo at you, sending a really uncomfortable tickle down your spine, “what are you listening?”

“...Hunnybee.”

“Mh,” he tilted his head, sending his eyes up and down your figure, making you conscious all of a sudden, “you look more of a ‘Filthy’ girl, the Timberlake one.”

“Excuse me?”

“What I mean is you can help us out by handing over that old piece of paper you got working on over there.”

That’s when you noticed the red hue of the emergency lights outside the lab with at least a dozen more men moving about in the darkness, forcing you to turn towards the screen and swipe away to find out Friday’s intrusion alert.

What in the hell…

“Well,” the stubble guy asked you gently, his eyebrows and hands raised in question, “what do you say, sweetheart? Help a guy out here.”

You took a step away from their direction, your gloved hands sweeping the dry papyrus away from the table, rolling it and pulling it behind you. “Mr Stark didn’t send you here.”

It was more of a statement than a question, making the guy’s smile falter and his lips twitch, his hands going down in momentary defeat.

“The paper. Yes or no.”

You inched away further, finding your legs walk into Bruce’s desk.

“No,” you stated in the most obvious sense, surprised at your brain’s ability to be so dangerously subtle in a situation that could turn fatal for you.

The stubble guy dipped his head forward, inhaling in a long tiring breath before moving something from his back forward.

A machine gun.

Correction: the situation did just turn fatal for you.

For a second you froze there, your body not being able to decide between the flight or fight response as it saw both the men pull the trigger, your brain waiting for the glass walls to shatter and you to be dead any second, flinching as the bullets came out but dropped or bounced away just as they met the glass, leaving nothing but tiny frosty traces on the transparent surface.

“The lab is under emergency security, Y/N,” Friday’s soothing voice made you jump. “The chances of the breach are it 1.09 per cent.”

“Huh?” was your only response as your eyes didn’t leave the two men cursing the glass before signalling each other to take something else out of their utility belts.

“My security system is being bypassed at the moment, Y/N. If they are successful in doing so, I would not be able to keep them outside the lab anymore. The intruders have already cut off the rest of the facility’s power, making me unable to communicate with Mr Stark on my own.”

The men each took out what looked like spray bottles. The blank-faced man sprayed a string of white foam all over the lower parts of visible glass of the lab- which was practically three sides of the entire area- as the other stood there smiling before taking out a lighter and throwing in the material to create an explosion of fire all around you, making you bend down in fear of everything exploding in your face.

“Ten minutes,” the uncomfortable husky voice came again, “you have ten minutes to come out yourself and hand me that shitty paper before I melt this glass and get it from over your dead body.”

“Tell me,” you announced, never taking your eyes off the man, “tell me how can I help you reach Mr Stark,” making your intentions pretty clear to the man.

Continued here

TAGLIST

Permanent

@magiclolipopqueen @choke-me-sweet-pea @smexylemony @hazzastyles2471 @lokis-lady-death @lokixme @l0kisbitch @tarithenurse @hiddlestonstansworld @itheoneofmanyfandomsi @nalokoniloki @fuckidontknow @qualitynerdwasteland @cryinglots @unipanda1006 @literalangels @meganlikesfandoms @kcd15

JBB tags who’d be interested (Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged in this fic)

@lost-and-wandering-alone @imsunnysu @vxidnik @sebbies  @unknownuserhasjoined  @cauraphernelia @queen-of-elves @doitfortwitter @ladywintersoldat @introvertfangirl @alt-er-love-er-alt @klmpun @loving-life-my-way @picapicapicassobaby

[proxylynn]

Underfell: File Name not Edgy Enough #19

Chapter 19: Progress WARNING: I WANT NO RESPONSIBILITY OVER SPOILING THINGS FOR OTHERS. THAT BEING SAID, THIS IS HOW FILE NAME NOT FOUND WOULD FUNCTION IN THE AU OF UNDERFELL. BEFORE YOU READ THIS, UNLIKE THE NICE TIME OF UNDERTALE, THIS WORLD IS KILL OR BE KILLED. THIS STORY WILL BE GRAPHIC, GORY, USE SWEARS LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS, AND DEAL WITH SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTERS. FOR EXAMPLE, THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THE FILE NAME RELOCATED SPOOF WILL KNOW HOW I PICTURE THIS VERSION OF LYNSIE COMING TO THE UNDERGROUND. IT IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING DUMB. IT IS BECAUSE SHE CHOOSES TO END HER LIFE. SO TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. I MADE IT BECAUSE I NEEDED TO LET SOME OF THIS EDGINESS OUT OF MYSELF. WHICH I GUESS MAKES UNDERFELL LYNSIE EVEN MORE TRUE TO WHO I REALLY AM. ANYWAY, ENJOY. ^_^ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Once in Sans room, I keep my word in behaving as we dine on what tastes like Papyrus's best version of lasagna to date. There is no sound during this time apart from the occasional gulp or sound of satisfaction. I let him have his peace as needed. Poor guy needs it. He puts up with so much and much of it is because of me. Some quiet time is the least I can do. "so..." He tosses his empty plate to slide across the floor. "ya got something in your pocket or are ya just happy to see me?" I suppose he's ready to chat now. I set my scraps aside and stand up with a smirk. "A little bit of both, Sansy-boy. But mostly just a surprise." I pull the bottle of mustard and shot glasses out of my pockets. He looks surprised. "heh...these types of surprises i could get used to." "I told you you'd like this." I sit down beside him and pour him a glass, making him look at me funny. "What's that look for?" "there are two glasses." "Yeah?" He snorts. "you're gonna drink with me?" I shrug. "Sure, why not. Wouldn't be the first time I've drank a condiment for the hell of it." He sniffs the glass as I pour my own. "uh...where did ya get this stuff?" "I took from one of the ones in the back of the fridge. I figured the colder the better. Why? Did it go bad?" He's still for a moment...then...he grins. "no, this is fine." He downs the glass with ease. "see? go on. try it." My prank sense is tingling but I choose to ignore it and shoot the yellow stuff down in a quick go. "Woohoo...That is tangy." "well?" "Honestly...Not bad." "how about we do a little test." "A test?" "to see if you can really handle this. how about every time i drink, you drink as well." "Dude, it's just mustard. I can handle it." He smirks as he drinks and I do the same as per his little test rule. "heh...this is gonna be a fun night." Now my foreshadow sense tingles and I put the pieces together. "This is the alcoholic mustard, isn't it?" The playful smile that teases his skull is all he needs to say. I sigh and pour us more mustard. "Well...I know I have no tolerance. But let's see if I can hold it better." He cocks his brow. "is that a challenge?" "Let's call it a test." "oh, you are so gonna regret this. there's no way in hell you can hold your own against me." "We shall see, good buddy." We clink glasses and drink. "so...was this your plan all along or did pap send ya up here?" I refill our glasses. "I came to you for many reasons. Talk is one, the drink is another, and your bro is also on the list. So what dumb thing did big mouth say this time?" He scoffs. "he was talking shit that he had no right to say, let's leave it at that." "Typical Papyrus." "yep." "Do you maybe...?" "no." "Just checking." We drink and I pour once more into our empty glasses. "so what happened with the whole mettaton calling you thing?" I swirl my glass a little. "It was awkward." "how awkward?" "Like we might need more mustard awkward." I down my drink and he shakes his head. "great. more crap to deal with." "It gets crappier." He groans and shoots his glass. "i'll be back." "More mustard?" "yep." Sans teleports and returns to his spot after a bit with armloads of mustard bottles. "is this enough to drown the awkwardness?" I blink a couple of times before smiling. "For the record, I have been told I'm a very honest drunk. So...You might get more than you bargain for." He hands me a bottle. "i think i can handle it." "No more glasses?" "get on my level, kiddo. or can you not handle it?" I glare playfully and put my glass down before taking his offered bottle. "Oh, you are so on, skele-dude. But on one condition." "what's that?" "For the rest of the night stop calling me kid or kiddo." "only if you don't call me sansy-boy." "Deal. Now...Let's drink till we don't feel feelings anymore!" "here-here!" We tap bottles together and drink. [Ten minutes later] "...So then, get this, he starts faking the call is breaking up and hangs up while saying 'see you soon'. I swear he's gonna pull some other stunt that ends with my butt in Hotland." I drink as Sans scoffs. "over my dead body." I snicker. "As a skeleton...Aren't you already a dead body?" He blanks for a moment before he stifles a chuckle. "heh...that was bad." "Whoa...Talking skeleton. You are blowing my mind." He punches my shoulder playfully. "shut up and drink, dummy." "Who are you calling dummy? I am far from being a manually articulated performative Kinesio maquette." "...i don't know if i should be impressed you can say that while drunk." "That feeling will be gone soon." "why?" "Because I think I'm tipsy enough to laugh at even the most juvenile thing." "...boner?" Mustard snorts out my nose as I was in mid-drink when he said that. "Ahhh...It burns!" He laughs his ass off as I blow the remnants onto my shirt. "Oh, you are so gonna get it now." [Twenty minutes later] "hey, mind if i try out a few bar jokes on ya? i get the feeling grillz is gonna need a distraction when he eventually sees your face." "Sure. I think we both don't want him having a meltdown." Sans chugs his third bottle a moment. "what did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar?" "I give. What did it he say?" "please, no stories." "Meh. Needs a rewrite to be a bestseller. Try again." "what did the bartender say after charles dickens ordered a martini?" "What?" "olive or twist?" I have to stop and think about that a moment. "Clever. Not sure how many would know that reference down here." "what do you get when you mix an english class with alcohol?" "Hmmm?" "tequila mockingbird." "Ah. Very nice." "then why aren't ya laughing?" "Dunno. Maybe my head is just bubbly enough that the stupid stuff makes me a giggling idiot." "so if i say the word duty...?" I snicker. "You said duty." He groans. "fine then, little miss tipsy, why don't you say some?" I shrug and drink halfway into my second bottle. "Why did Mexicans create tequila?" He eyes me a moment. "why?" "So ugly people would have a chance at having sex." He nearly chokes on his breath from that. "Too much?" "no...just...i never expect the dirty stuff from you for some reason." "But it's a good joke, right?" "yeah! tell me another one." "Oh. Okay...um...What is the difference between an alcoholic and drunk?" "what?" "A drunk drinks until they pass out. An alcoholic drinks till the house burns down with them in it." "that actually happened once down here." "Really?" "yeah. and in waterfall or all places." I giggle. "I have one more." "go for it." "Alcohol doesn't turn people into somebody they're not. It just makes them forget to hide that part of themselves." He pauses and stares at the bottle in his hand. "getting philosophical on me now?" "Maybe. Just was something that popped into my head." "meh. no biggie. they all can't be funny." "True. If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs." He looks at me funny. "are you okay?" I guzzle the remains of my bottle and drop it on the floor. "Dude, I am feeling good right now and it's awesome. Got any more jokes?" He cocks his brow and slowly hands me another bottle. "okay... a man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey then looks into his pocket. he does this over and over again. finally, the bartender asks why he orders a shot of whiskey and afterward looks into his pocket. the man responded, i have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then i'll go home." The giggles leave me with ease. "That's a good one. I knew you could do it." He smiles a little. "a guy talks with his friend about his marriage. the man says, it's getting bad these days as my wife spends her evenings going around the bars of the city. the friends asks, is she an alcoholic? the man shakes his head and tells him, no she's looking for me." That got me laughing as we continue to drink. [Thirty minutes later] "what's worse than waking up at a party and finding a dick drawn on your face?" "What?" "finding out it was traced." "*giggles* Why are hurricanes normally named after women?" "heh...why?" "Because when they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them." "*chuckles* how do you make a pool table laugh?" "How?" "ya tickle its balls." "*snickers* What is Moby Dick's dad's name?" "heheh...what?" "Papa Boner!" "*laughs* oh, oh, wait...i got one...what do you call a dictionary on drugs?" "*chuckling* What?" "addictionary!" We crack up like the biggest fools after six bottles each. [Forty minutes later] Ten bottles down and things are not like how this started. Not at all. "*sniffling* w-why is he such an asshole? i can't help that i have 1 HP. he doesn't have to throw it in my face." "Shhhhh...I know. He's just lashing out. He doesn't mean to hurt you." "*sniffling* then...then what is he trying to do?" I hold Sans close and rest his head on my shoulder. "I'm sure he thinks of it as a form of 'tough love'. Pushing you to do better through negativity. That, if he pushes you hard enough, you'll force yourself to do things like him. Or at least try." "but i do try! *weep* i try and i try...i try so damn hard...he has no idea what i do or what i've been going through." "Let it out, buddy. I'm here for you." He clings to me rather tightly, his claw-like fingertips digging in. Good thing I can't feel pain right now. "day after day, i work myself to the bone. for him. for all monsters. for the whole dam universe. and all i want in return is one small nod of approval or thanks. but what do i get? that's not enough, sans! work harder, sans! stop being so lazy, sans! why are you so weak, sans?! nothing i do is ever enough for anyone!" "That's not true." "yes, it is! i don't even know why i bother trying anymore. i'll never be good enough for anyone. and yet i still have this twisted hope that somehow, someday, maybe he and i will act like real brothers. but i guess that's asking for too much. because i've tried everything. no matter how many resets...i've tried to make him proud...yet i just...i can't...*sobs*" He weeps with pain and it's so pure that I can feel my own eyes water. But I do my best to fight that feeling. He needs comfort more than another sobbing mess. I pull him onto my lap and move him around to have his chest to my own, his head nestled under my own. One of my hands rubs gently along his back while the other cradles the back of his skull, my thumb rubbing small circles on the smooth bone. "Sans..." "i'm scared, lynsie!" "Of what? I know you're stronger than anyone knows. I bet all the money on Earth you can beat the likes of Asgore and Papyrus at the same time. What possibly rattles your bones?" "that's just it. i have all this power but at what price? i'm losing my mind. i see things. i have near constant nightmares. i don't even feel like a real person most days. and it terrifies me. i'm not even scared of dying anymore. i'm scared that one day i'll have taken all i can take and give up. that i'll stop caring and do something stupid. that he'll push me to my breaking point and i'll have to live with the consequences of knowing i hurt my own brother. i can't live with myself if i do that. i just can't." He's shaking like a leaf about to fall. "You won't do it." "but what if i do?" "You won't." "how do you know?!" "Because you're too nice to kill anyone. Let alone Papyrus." "i ain't nice." "Yeah, you are. Otherwise, you would've killed me in an instant when the Black Soul had me." He flinches. "I'm not saying you can't kill. Anyone can. Even small children, which I find very disturbing how easy and okay they are with doing so. But you are strong enough to NOT do it. True power is not in how you use it...but how you choose not to. That is how I know you're good and will never harm Papyrus." He's quiet now. The tears are still coming but he's dead silent. "Wow...I got mushy there. Sorry if that was weird." "..." "Sans? Come on, buddy, say something." His grip suddenly gets harsher and he sits up, sitting on my legs to look me in the eyes. "you're wrong about me." Things feel intense all of a sudden. "Oh?" "i have killed before." I tilt my head. "In the past timelines? Who?" "frisk." My thinking gears are jammed with alcoholic mustard. I got no clue where this is going. "Why?" "...they killed my brother." And just like that, my brain decides to shut down. "W-What?" "you heard me. that kid killed my brother. but not just pap. they killed everybody. even me." Trying to process this on a messed up mind hurts. "Um...b-but...They were just a kid, right? W-Why would they...?" "do ya really think i haven't asked that very question? to this day, that kid haunts me. not like you with chara. that's a whole other weird ass thing." "But..." "you said it yourself, kids are disturbingly easy with their ability to kill. is it really so hard to believe that kid could be genocidal enough to fuck up the timeline of the entire world?" "Just a little bit. But when magic is involved, it's easier to agree in the possibility than not to." "believe me. that kid...i've lost track of the number of timelines that were made and destroyed. the number of times i've had to fight that kid. the times i've killed that kid and they came back and killed me. *wearily* the times where they spared everyone and brought us to the surface...only to cruelly reset everything back to this hellhole. *sad* it wouldn't be so bad if i could forget it all like everybody else. living with all these memories. seeing the faces of people dying flash randomly before me day in and day out. never knowing if one day, any and all progress made will just be undone by the will of some fucking kid!" He's shaking so hard now, both in despair and rage. I know he hates it, but I see no other option in trying to settle him. I hug this emotional skeleton and hug him tight. I want him to feel safe. Much to my surprise, he doesn't fight this. He just goes limp against me. Feeling bad, I nuzzle his skull softly. "...what are ya doing?" "Well, I wouldn't be much of a friend if I didn't try to make you feel better." "you know i hate hugs." "Embrace the friendship, Sans. Because as long as I'm here, I'm gonna do what I can to replace those bad times with good stuff." "you're such a dork." "A dork that wants to be your best buddy. Well...second best to Grillby. I can't compete with someone so awesome." "that is true." "So? What do ya say, buddy?" He huffs into my neck. "you're only being this way because of the booze." "You know me better than to believe that. I'm just as nice without drink influence." "really?" "Okay...I'm nice to the ones I like. Better?" "...booze really does make ya honest." "Don't forget stupidly lovable." "not the words i'd used but...sure, why not." "*gasp* Really?!" "eh, you're not so bad...for a human." "Oh, Sans!" Playfully I plant a big smooch on his forehead and he snarls but it doesn't seem as threatening. "don't ruin the moment. i'm starting to actually feel better." I smile and shut my trap, returning to rubbing this back. It's really neat how he's able to fill his clothes. There is, of course, a lot of empty slack in the midsection but when you got a hollow body that's no shocker. Much like his fingertips, the ridges of his spinal bones are sharp and curve like shark fins. "mmmm...that feels nice. do ya know these bones too?" "I think I might. Just...give my head a moment to think straight." My head hurts trying to think of these things while inebriated. "Ugh...If I remember right...There are thirty-one spinal cord nerve segments." My hand starts at the very top under the base of his skull. "There should be eight cervical segments..." I count my way down each bone. "Then twelve thoracic segments..." He sighs pleasantly, almost like a coo, and I blush a bit. "Then there are five lumbar segments..." I stop following the bone trail because I don't want to kill this good time by feeling his bony ass. "What's left is five sacral segments and one coccygeal segment." He makes this odd sound that doesn't sound bad but is still weird to me before suddenly putting his arms around my neck in a tired way. "you make a good pillow." God, he's adorable like this. "lynsie..." "Yes?" "can i be honest with ya for a sec?" "Sure." He makes himself cozy. "now, this might be the booze talking or my good mood, but...i'm glad you came to the underground." Was that...genuine sentiment? The feels. It makes my eyes water and my heart hurt. I'm not used to someone showing actual care without a motive before. And in this current emotional flux going on in me, well, something doesn't quite connect properly. [Error. Lynsie.exe has suffered a crash. Please reboot to repair.] [Rebooting start...6% complete.] Mentally, my lights are off and yet I'm still fully aware of what's going on. He notices my lack of movement and looks up at me. "yo, you okay?" [Rebooting...18% complete.] Well, this is new. I've had breakdowns before. But this is just silly. "hey, come on. don't make me regret saying that. not like it matters anyway since you won't remember." [Rebooting...34% complete.] Is this what a coma is like? It's freaky. Like I'm a living doll. This feeling increases when he snaps his fingers in my face and my reaction time in blinking is extremely slow. "wait a sec...this isn't the booze, is it?" [Rebooting...52% complete.] "can you even talk?" That is a good question. All that I can manage to force out is a slight wheeze. This makes him laugh hard enough that he rolls off me and teleports for some more mustard. "now this is funny. you're so messed up you actually crashed. i haven't seen someone crashed in ages." [Rebooting...79% complete.] He returns and plops down sleepily beside me, already guzzling the bottle. "i guess this means i win our little game. because this is the last one and i ain't getting any more." [Rebooting...100% complete.] [Restarting ...now.] I blink rapidly as life returns to my brain. "Whoa...Dude...That was trippy as hell." He snickers. "just be glad it happened here and not out in town. crashing in public around the wrong people has lead to a lot of easy kills. or so i've been told." "Wait, so that's a normal thing that happens down here?" "kind of. like i said, it's been a while since i've seen it happen." "Then what causes it?" "no one knows. my guess is that it happens when something clashes with what the person is used to." Huh...Makes sense I guess. He's about to finish off that last bottle when I put my hand out. "what?" "Can I have some?" "no way. this is mine." "I just want one sip." "i said no." "Please? I'll take the remains. I just want something to wet my whistle." He snorts. "what are ya? some old-timer in a saloon?" "What do I need to do to get a sip?" He pauses for thought. "well...nah. you'd never do that." "What?" He looks at me, then the bottle, and then back to me with a smirk slowly forming. "how bad do you want some of this?" I look at him funny. "don't give me that look. i ain't no perv. i only mean to offer you a dare." "...I'm listening." That smirk of his grows. "i'll let ya have the rest of the bottle, if...you can keep from laughing at one last little joke." "...That's it?" "that's it." "Okay...What's the joke?" "heh...what do you call a skeleton with benefits?" I tilt my head and shrug. "I dunno." He motions me to lean in closer and doing so lets him whisper in my ear rather huskily. "a bone buddy~." The urge to giggle is almost stronger than the weird 'what the fuck' feeling his tone gave me or the suggestive wink he gives me when he pulls away. Just when my head comes up with something to say as a result of this, he starts to snicker and slaps his knee. "heheheh...oh man...you should see your face right now. oooooh, that was so worth it. here. it's yours." He hands me the bottle. I just look at him and then the bottle before looking back at him. "what?" "Gonna be honest here...I...I can't tell if you were really joking." He grins like a saucy Cheshire cat. "maybe i did. or maybe i didn't. the world may never know, kitten. now are ya gonna drink or not?" This is a weird moment. But a rare one. And my bubbled brain isn't sure what to do other than drink. "Don't make this weird, Sans." I take the bottle and drink. "weird? this ain't weird. wanna see something really weird?" "...You have my attention, good sir." This night is just going to get odder the longer it goes. [Many hours and lots of empty mustard bottles later] Sans's senses fought with themselves on whether or not to wake up. It has been a long time since he slept this soundly and this peacefully. The mattress wasn't lumpy. The pillow cushioned his face just right. A soothing warmth that evenly spread throughout his bones as no blanket has before. The only things that were drawing him to the waking side of the force were this sweet musky smell and a soft wheezing sound that randomly came to him that made the bed vibrate. Wait...vibrate? Come to think of it, since when did his mattress move at all? Slowly he reluctantly opens his eyes and instantly regrets doing so. He wasn't laying on his mattress and his head was definitely not on his pillow. Not only was he laying on top of the human, not only was his shirt off, not only was his face resting atop her grand tetons, but he found his soul was out and pressing into her. His skull burns bright red and he teleports halfway across the room in a cold sweat then forces his soul to return. What the fuck happened? How much did he drink last night? [BANG BANG BANG] Already on edge, the door being attacked didn't help. Though to his surprise, the human didn't wake up. "SANS! WAKE YOUR LAZY ASS UP!" "i'm up, pap!" "OH...WELL...GOOD." Papyrus walks away and Sans does his best to settle down. As uncomfortable as this was, he was grateful that she was still out. Though in the back of his mind he did wonder why. Gaster is a likely reason. She did tell him that they had this weird deal of sorts. Dumb girl has no clue what she's doing. Casting thoughts of the human aside, mostly because they were making him incredibly uncomfortable, Sans gathers his clothing for the day and heads for the bathroom. He needed a cold shower to reset himself. Damn woman is getting to him. How else could he explain how he woke up? He never would be that comfortable around her unless he was wasted. Sans is no pushover to the hard effects of booze, but even he would be susceptible to alcohol after a limit was met. It was under such influence that Drunk Bun took advantage and caused the gross amount on his tab. It's something he made Grillby promise to not let happen again. But this wasn't the bar. This was at home. And she needs to go home. Out of the shower, fully dressed, and wishing the woman in his room would vanish, Sans ventures down to get some food in him before having to sit outside for the rest of the day in the elements. "what's to eat?" Papyrus just slides a plate of lasagna on the counter without a word. "pap?" Papyrus leaves the room with his own plate and Sans is confused. Papyrus being like this is unsettling in the morning. Maybe things were still off from last night? He did leave before Papyrus could make his shitty attempt at an apology. This could be interesting. If Papyrus felt something, other than his vanity and narcissism, it might be worth letting him stew in it for the day. With how often his brother made him feel like crap, it was karma long overdue for Papyrus to feel the same. With this scheme in mind, Sans adjourns to the living room to eat and go about the day without speaking to his brother. This silence lasts long after the eating is done and they leave the house. Nothing is none the wiser to their absence from the home. Not the slumbering flower. Nor the unconscious human. For long at least. [Some hours later] Wearily I come awake from a very deep dreamless sleep. Everything feels heavy. My eyelids are like sandbags and my limbs like lead bricks. I can't recall most of last night but I know if I don't get out of bed I'll either be yelled at or some other bullshit. I roll off the mattress and groan. I have never felt so lethargic in my life. But even laziness must give way to more important things. Like calling Toriel. [RING-RING] "Good afternoon, my child. I take you are calling to apologize." This confuses me. "Apologize?" "Do not play dumb with me, young one. You have failed to maintain your phone calls to me for the last, by this hour, two days." Wait...no...no her math is right. God damn, I have fucked up. "Nanny, I am so sorry..." "Save it. Once was bad enough. You are in big trouble, young lady." "Please don't start wigging out on me right now. I have had so much happen to me that I can't deal with you getting mad." I hear that telltale cracking when she gets upset and squeezes her phone. "Are you talking back to me?" I'm digging my own grave here. But I'm too fuzzy mentally to give a shit. "Why didn't you tell me about soul maturity?" Her side of the call gets a little garbled. She might have finally ruined her phone. "The irony of it all, Nanny, is that if you had told me about it I would've stayed home. Now I'm dealing with random surges in magic, emotional flipping, and I am losing my damn mind in hormones! And I'm doing all this around guys! It's fucking humiliating! But that's fine. Phone calls are more important than making sure this doesn't make the Black Soul come out more often and make me go on a genocidal killing spree. So go ahead. Reprimand me. Be mad. Meanwhile, I have to make sure a grumpy skeleton doesn't threaten my life while his brother makes jokes about it." "*crackling* I...You don't...Young one...Come home...I..." "Your phone is breaking up, Nanny. *sigh* I'm sorry I snapped. I love you, mom. I'll talk to you later." [CLICK] This is not how I wanted my day to start. With that done, I drag my heavy body to the door. Even reaching up for the knob feels like overexertion of energy but it can't be helped since I can't just stay in Sans's room all day. I actually consider tumbling down the stair for a moment till reasoning kicks in and I childishly crawl backward down them instead. "Lynsie? Are you okay?" Flowey looks at me funny as I yawn. "Dude, what time is it?" He shrugs. "I don't have a clock. But it's been super quiet since I woke up." I sigh. "Have you eaten yet?" "No." "So...It's quiet and no one feed you? *groan* They left us." It takes a minute for that to sink in and the wicked grin to smear my face. "They left us..." "We can finally get out of this crazy place and get back to Toriel!" "Yeah! We can leave...Snowdin..." Suddenly this doesn't feel as right as it should. "What's wrong? Why do you sound uncertain? You...You're not thinking we should stay...Are you?" I pick myself off the floor with a sour face. "I'm an idiot for this, but yeah. I'm second guessing it." Flowey is not happy and flails his leaves. "Are you out of your mind?! Do you actually like being beaten?" "No, of course not." "Then why are you second guessing this? We need to go home!" "I know that!" I rub my arm, rolling up the sleeve a bit more with each stroke. "But what if this is a trap? They are posted right outside of the Ruins and Sans can teleport. If we can't make it through those doors then everything else we've been through won't compare to the punishment that will come from fleeing." "But staying here is just as bad." This is a head scratcher. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I probably could slip past Papyrus, because those dogs are not a problem, but Sans is the real threat. If he knows I'm running he is more than capable of stopping me. Dude can stop time, summon laser skull cannons, manipulate gravity on souls, and who knows what else. I need to think this out more. "We're staying here, aren't we?" "...I didn't say that. But it's a good chance." "What about Napstablook? Are we ever going to see him?" A bad nervous habit I have when feeling stress is to claw myself. My nails dig into my skin and I drag them a couple of times. There's just so much on my mind and it makes me want to jump off the roof! "Lynsie?" I dig a little harder and one of the red welts trails a streak a crimson in its wake. "H-Hey! You're bleeding!" I don't even feel it. I just look at the blood before licking it away and fixing the sleeve, much to Flowey's disgust. "Flowey...Why do stay with me?" That threw him off a little. "Huh?" "You didn't have to come out of the Ruins with me. And you have a better opportunity to leave than me. So why? Why do you stay if you want to go so damn badly?" He's stunned slightly. "I...I can't leave you here alone." "Why not?" "Why not? What do you mean why not?" "I mean, you don't have to stick around. I'm not your problem." "But..." "The ground should connect from here to the Ruins. You should be able to make it back with no issue." "I'm not leaving you here." "Fine then. You can stay. I'm going out." I head for the door. "Wait...Where are you going?" "I need a drink" "The fridge is the other way." "It doesn't have what I need." I walk out and head for Grillby's, but I pop back in for one last thought. "I'll be back later. And maybe...I'll be brave for us both." He looks confused as I shut the door with a sigh and continue on my way to the bar. I don't intend to do any hard drinking. I think I'm still feeling it from the mustard last night. All I want is to talk with a close someone. He seems to get me even when I don't. I just hope today is a slow day and the usual guests are feeling like home is where they want to drink. The door to the pub feels heavier to me, probably due to that tired feeling from earlier, and I keep my head low as I enter. "Pussycat!" Grillby's voice has an emotion I'm not used to hearing. He has the voice of someone that's happy to see me. It makes me smile. "Where were you? When they didn't come in today I was thinking the worst happened." There are a few patrons in here, about two or four that I see. They see what I'm trying to hide before he does and he only sees it when I take my seat at the bar. But I know he's pissed by how hot it gets. "A loaded omelet and strawberry milk please." Grillby leans on the bar and grabs my chin, making me look up at him to better see the damage. His eyes narrow. "Is this what happens when you 'handle it'?" I glare weakly. "I'm not talking about this out here. But no, this was something else. Papyrus did this." Smoke escapes the sides of his mouth. "Open your mouth." I sigh through my nose. "The tooth is chipped if you thought you saw something odd." He growls low and deep. "Say the word and I'll make sure he won't touch you again." I won't lie, knowing he's willing to defend me is attractive as hell. But nothing good cones from impulsive actions. I take his hand off my face and hold it in both of mine. "You are my knight in burning armor, Sir Grillby of flame." I kiss his hand and the sudden sweetness mellows him out a bit. "Heh...Buttering me up won't change the subject, pussycat." "Not trying to. Just lowering your burner a little before you overheat." He smiles a little and calms down, his temperature getting less intense. "Thank you, Grillz." "I meant what I said, Lynsie. I'll make him stop. You don't have to put up with this." "I know. But I...*groan* It's complicated." He frowns. "Will you at least talk about it with me?" Oh, Grillby...There is so much I want to say and yet so much I can not. "Yeah. Just...let me get a little comfortable before I do." That lifts his spirits up and he kisses my forehead. "Take your time, dear. I'll be back with your breakfast." Grillby heads to the kitchen and can't help but feel lucky that I know him. If I had known someone like him was down here I would've jumped a hell of a lot sooner. The guy is kind, caring, understanding, and was willing to lay down his life to protect me...at least in that dead timeline he did. Mmmm...It doesn't hurt that he's hot too. Those glasses and that uniform of his. I don't know if these feeling started because of that dream I had but right now I'm glad to have them. Zoned in these thoughts, I fail to notice his return and nearly jump when the plate clatters on the bar. "Daydreaming, pussycat? Hope I didn't interrupt anything interesting~." I snicker to hide the small blush that threatens to show. "Maybe. I do believe it was about this really hot guy. Maybe you know him?" He smirks while he makes my drink. "Maybe I do. What does this hot guy look like?" "Look in a mirror." He chuckles with a small blush. "If I didn't know any better, pussycat, I'd think you were flirting with me." I shrug. "I could be. Or you're just wishfully thinking." He puts the finished glass down in front of me and grins. "You're in a playful mood, pussycat. Is this your way of stepping up our game?" I take my milk and sip it. "I'll let you know when I'm ready for that, Grillz." "Heh...Playing it cool? Fine by me. But just so you know..." He leans in by my ear. "I'm ready for when you want to heat things up~." He backs away smugly and moves on to doing work while I get all flustered. Damn smooth talking flirty fire hottie. Making me all goofy and dorky looking. I hope my burning cheeks offset some of these dark bruises, I doubt it though. But this game of ours, it needs some evening out, he's got more points over me and I don't like that. No...I think it's time to step up my skills. But how? I eat my omelet and think this over. There's got to be a way to mess with him. Something he wouldn't expect from me. By the time I've finished eating the few patrons that were here surprisingly left the bar. "Where'd everybody go?" "It's a mandatory thing in town that once a month the guard takes count of the population. Everyone lines up outside their home for the census. Shopkeepers can remain in their place of business but must leave their doors open." "Oh. ...Fuck." I chug the remaining milk and take my dishes as I hide behind the bar with him. This confuses him but Grillby is a smart man, he figures it out with ease. "They don't know you're here, do they?" I shake my head as the door's bell rings with someone's entrance to the bar. "*whisper* Keep still and doesn't make a sound." I nod and he walks around to meet this guardsman. "What can I do for you, Doggo?" "You know how this goes. Same thing every time." There's a click sound, a pen maybe. "All this normal crap is out of the way. Gotta love it when you can auto-fill more than half this crap without asking." "Makes things easier when nothing ever changes." "I hear that. Speaking of which...Any new additions to your current living space?" "Such as?" "You know. That girl you mess with. She moved in with you?" There's a faint crackling sound. "H-How fast do you think I move on someone?" "I don't know. The way you two go at it I was betting you managed to snag her and had that bone on locked down." "What?" "Yeah, then again, I guess it's not worth it. What with her being passed around by those skeletons." There's a deep threatening growl that's followed by a hard slam. I'm tempted to look but I know better. "*whimpering* Y-You...You hit me?" "Get the fuck out of my bar...NOW!" Grillby's voice has a searing deathly burn in it and it's not long before that bell over the door rings harshly in Doggo's retreat. There is some huffing and puffing from Grillby's calming fume. This concerns me. Dishes cast aside to a small shelf, I creep around the bar and see him standing in the center of the room, his hair billowing high in his anger. Poor guy. I move close to him and feel his heat. "Grillby?" He lets out a large puff of smoke. "Give me a minute...please." I frown in worry. "Okay. But I'm here for you." His arms are shaking. He's settling down slowly. That's good. Yet I feel like I can help. I lightly put my hand on his back and he flinches. Though he begins to relax when I rub my hand up and down along the curve of his back. "Mmmmmm...That's nice." His flames die down and he turns around to me. "Thank you, pussycat." "Thank you for defending my honor again." His face holds such softness. It's cute. "I don't punch Royal Guardsmen for anyone else." There's a warm spot in my heart and I know it's for him. He's earned a reward. "Grillby..." "Yes?" "I don't kiss anyone else." His eyes widen when I yank him by his tie and kiss him, though his surprise doesn't last long. He practically coos when I let him go. "I need to hit Doggo more often if this is what it gets me." "Silly boy." "Well, you like this silly boy." "Yeah, I do." He puts his arms around my waist and I wrap mine around his neck. "You're comfortable with this, pussycat?" "If I wasn't, I wouldn't be letting it happen, would I?" "Heh...You're cute when feisty." "Cute? With this busted face?" "All you need is some healing. Don't put yourself down." "How can I put myself down when all you do is lift me up?" He chuckles and kisses my forehead before resting against me, his breath is steamy yet enjoyable. "You make it very hard not to do more and respect this waiting when you get so damn adorable." He has a point. It's not like I don't like him. Maybe it's worth exploring this with him. As they say...You only live once. Might as well live knowing happiness. This will really surprise him. That's for sure. I lean back slightly and he looks confused as I move into his neck to leave a few kisses. This gets him blushing and his grip tightens a bit. "Mmmmmm...Now you're not playing fair, pussycat." "Who said I'm playing?" His body stiffens. "W-What?" "I told you earlier..." I look him dead in those fiery eyes of his. "I'll let you know when I'm ready for our game to level up." He blinks quickly as that sinks in. "You...You're serious?" I stroke the back of his head, letting my fingers play around in his flames. "I think you've earned it. Unless you'd rather stay in this friendly type thing?" He pulls out of our hold and steps back toward the door. "Grillby?" When he reaches the door he flips a sign, locks the door, and shuts the blinds on all the windows. This makes me feel like I just fucked up. "Why are you doing that?" "Don't freak out. I'm just closing up for a quick break. Mostly for two reasons." "And they are?" "Well for one..." He starts heading back to me. "I don't want to deal with any of the guards due to Doggo's bitching about being punched. And the second reason..." He reaches me and cups my face. "I want nothing to ruin this." If it weren't for the glow of his hands I wouldn't have any clue that he was healing my bruised as hell face, well, that and it tingles a bit. That warmth in my chest starts that getting hotter as he leans in and kisses me softly...at first. Now knowing he has the okay to do more, Grillby carefully guides me over to a table and sits me on it so I'm a bit more at level with him without breaking the kiss. This is giving me vibes similar to that of the naughty dream yet he's being less aggressive then dream Grillby was. His tenderness allows me to relax, my hands rest on his chest and enjoy the satin feel of his uniform's vest. He trails his kisses across my cheek then down my neck under the bandanna, nipping lightly at my nape and I shamefully moan when he nibbles a sensitive spot. This reaction has the both of us blushing yet he's smiling at me. "Did you just...?" "Grillz..." "Oh my god..." "Grillby, please." "That was the cutest fucking thing I have ever heard in my life." I groan which only makes him laugh. "Come on, it's nothing to be embarrassed about." "Don't tease me." "No, I liked it. In fact...I want to hear it more~." "I don't think tha-!" He cuts me off when his mouth clamps around that spot and begins to suck like a vampire for blood. This has me mewling by, what I can only guess is, his ear and he is very much pleased to hear it all. His bite is sharp yet harmless. He keeps this up a good long while as I cling to him and drag out his name randomly in those lewd sounds he enjoys so much. Eventually, he releases my neck and his smug satisfaction is suddenly alluring to me. It's probably confidence. We chicks dig a confident man. "There. Now you look even better with my mark~." I'm a bit too loopy to understand what that means. Plus the heat I'm feeling is flooding my system and he is becoming more attractive by the second. He nuzzles into my cheek with a few kisses peppered in. "I take it this is your first hickey too?" I nod with a lightheaded smile. All this heat is getting to me. Making it harder to think straight. "So cute." He graces me with a smoldering kiss that lingers long after he's pulled away. This is all too much for my soul to take and the pink heart emerges from my chest much to his shock but also interest. "Easy there, pussycat. While very flattering, I don't think you're ready for that level yet." "Can't help it. It likes you so much." He smirks while giving me a hug. His warmth making my soul feel strange, but not unpleasant. "You are way too sweet to be down here." "And you are way too attractive for your own good. Wait...Did I say that out loud?" He laughs and nuzzles that tender part of my neck as I hug him back. "You know...My offer still stands. You can stay with me and not them." I want to say yes. Everything in me is screaming to yell yes with all my might. But I can't muster the will to do so. Not when Flowey pops into my head and from him spring up all the other people I can't just forget to be with him. My silence gives it away to him. "You can't, can you?" "I want to. But there are things I still need to do. I can't forgo what I already promised. I'm sorry." He looks disappointed for a second before petting my head. "You're a good girl, Lynsie." "You're not mad?" "No. How can I be mad at you when you're honest with me? Besides, it's not like you shot me down. I can wait for when you're able to accept my offer." I sigh with relief as my soul calms down and I smile at this sweet man of flames. "Thank you, Grillby." "No thanks needed. I get it. You've probably got a lot on your plate and being a forced 'house guest' doesn't help matters much." "Yeah." "Was is it that you need to do anyway?" "Well...The whole reason I left the Ruins was to see my friend in Waterfall." That puzzles him. "Who do you know in Waterfall?" "A ghost named Napstablook. He visits the Ruins a lot and we became buddies." "Ah, makes sense now." "I just don't know how to get there without tipping off the guard. He mentioned something about a fast travel thing that would take me near his home from here, but I have no clue where that thing is or what it even is." "The Riverperson." "Huh?" "You're talking about the Riverperson. They take people from area to area on their boat." The pink in my soul starts to transition into white. "Do you know where they are?" He nods and steps back a bit. "Once out this door, you make a left into the housing area and keep going straight. There's a spot where it docks its boat. You can't miss it." Finally. Finally, something that helps me move forward. My soul turns fully white and retreats to my body. "Is that normal for you?" "What?" "Your soul. It changed colors." "Oh, that? Yeah. You get used to it." I scoot off the table. "Thank you, Grillby." "For what?" "Where to start? For defending me. For understanding. For caring. For the companionship. Just thanks for being you, you awesome sweetheart." This has the man of fire burning with a less than intimidating hue as he becomes flustered. I love it. "Awww..." "What?" "You're adorable." His flames burn brighter. "I am not." "And here I thought you liked my honesty." He turns around to get control of himself and I make it worse a little by hugging his back. "Would it help if I said you were hot as hell?" That seems to lighten his embarrassment. "It's a start." "That's the spirit." I kiss the back of his neck and he shivers. "Oh? Did I just find a secret spot of sensitivity?" "Heh...Maybe." "Good to know. Makes our game a bit more even." "And what does that mean?" "You'll have to wait and see, hot stuff." I kiss the back of his neck again and this time he shudders. "*flustered* Really making it hard for me now, pussycat." "My bad." I let him go. "It's probably for the best that we stop anyway. You need to run your bar and I have to get my bro so we can finally finish this longer than it should've been quest." "Heheh...Cute. But you make a point. If I'm closed for too long than the local drunkards will bitch like there's no tomorrow." We both head for the door. "So...You won't be in Waterfall for long, will you?" "Worried I'll get my ass kicked?" "The monster there are stronger than the ones here. Not guard level, but still stronger." "It's sweet of you to be concerned. But trust me, I don't intend to fight anyone." "I'm more worried about you running into Undyne." "The Captain? Yeah, Blooky mentioned she lived there. It's why I'm gonna use the boat to bypass running into her." "Clever girl." I pull up the blinds us as he unlocks the door then turns over the sign. Already there's a line outside of patrons wanting to enter and when they can, they head for their normal spots ready to order. "Looks like you're gonna be busy today. Heh...Sucks to be you, boss." Grillby sighs. "It's going to get less busy later. It's lady's night tonight. Not many women show up." "Horny dudes try to schmooze on the ones that show up?" "Bingo." "Called it!" I move out the door. "Later, hot dude." "Wait!" He grabs my arm at the last second. "Dude, you okay?" He stares at me hard before releasing his grip. "Do you have a phone?" Okay, that random. But not completely out there. "Yeah. Why?" "Let me give you my number. In case something happens." I give him a warm smile and my phone. He adds his number to my contact list and hands it back. "Promise you'll call at the first sign of something going wrong." I hug his neck and kiss his cheek. "I promise. I'll come back to you." He nuzzles my neck and lets me take my leave, allowing him to return to his work while I head back to the skeleton house. The path has been clear to me now. I can make to Napstablook's place. Problem is, if I do, I run the risk of setting Papyrus off. He'll think I escaped. Sans will think the same, but he'd know where to look for me. If that happens, I can hide out at Blooky's for a bit before returning and making a break for the Ruins. Maybe...Maybe if Flowey can help in case we get spotted...Argh! There are so many variables for things to go wrong! I hate it! I enter the house and plop on the couch. "So...You feeling better now? Or are you just drunk?" I look over at my flora brother and see he made something for himself to eat. I did leave in a huff, forgetting to feed him. I owe him more than what I give. "Hey! Your face looks better." "My buddy at the bar did that. He's nice." "Huh? So there are nice monsters." "I'm sorry for earlier. I was a dick. I could've fed you before leaving." "That would've been nice." "Again, I'm sorry. There's just...*sigh* A lot of stuff is on my mind and I'm dealing with a body that is going nuts. I don't mean to take it out on others, especially you. Hell, I even tore into Mom." "Are you insane?! I mean, you have to be if you did that." "I'm not even sure we can call her anymore. Her phone was breaking up really bad." "So we can't get in touch with her at all?" "It's a possibility. I'm hoping more that her battery was dying. Mine's not looking too good either what with no charger and the constant Mom calls." "So we're screwed?" "Not necessarily. The phone is still an option until proven otherwise. But other than that, you can still try going underground to inform her or Blooky could do it." "And how would you get him to do that? "I'll ask him when we get there." That makes him pause. "Are you joking?" "Do I look like I am?" "W-What about the skeletons?" "If we leave now and not stay too long, they shouldn't be none the wiser to our little 'escape'." "And if they do?" I remain silent. "Oh." "We'd have to hide out and either make it to the bar or to Ruins." "Why the bar?" "The owner likes me." Flowey shivers uncomfortably. "Don't be that way. Mom approves of the guy." Technically this is a lie but it's not like Toriel ever said she didn't like Grillby. "So...I'm guessing you have an idea of how to get there if you're suggesting we leave." "There's a boat that'll take us. I just need to know if you're okay with this." He flinches. "Why are you putting all this pressure on me?" "Because I'm sick of being the one with a noose around my neck. Now make a choice. We stay or we go?" He nervously rubs his petals. "Um...uh..." "We don't have much time. Every second wasted allows them to find us sooner." "We go!" I stand up and go over to him. "You'll help me if needed. Right, bro?" "I don't know what you expect me to do. But...sure." "Alright then." I gather my bag and don my gear before collecting Flowey then taking what could be our final leave of this place. Following the directions Grillby gave me, I head into the housing area and notice some different monsters that I didn't know lived here. Of course there are rabbits, a boy awkwardly watches a girl as she walks her little brother on a child leash. A family of slimes take part in what looks to be a parody game of gladiators with the father presiding as judge. I can only guess that this play fighting prepares them for real fights in the future. Then located a little eastward of the slime family is what looks to be a very buff wolf monster behind a gated area throwing mass-produced giant ice cubes into part of the river stream. His fur must be very warm because this hunk is naked. I'm tempted to wolf-whistle at him but I don't need the attention right now. I continue my way past the houses and end up in a small secluded spot surrounded by trees that leave enough space for something to sit by the water. "You said there was a boat. I don't see a boat." "Don't get fussy. Like any ride, we need to wait for the driver to come back." Flowey huffs with a shiver and I put him in the backpack so he's out of the chill. I just have to wait now. [Ring...ring...] Huh? That's a strange ring. And looking at this is even weirder as it's an unknown number. Eh, it's probably Mettaton calling to be creepy again. "Hello?" "Hello! Can I speak to G...Wait a second. Is this the wrong number?" Okay, definitely not Mettaton. And this voice...Why does it sound like I know it yet don't? Creepy! "Um...Yeah. I don't think you meant to call me." " Oh it's the wrong number! The wrong number song! We're very very sorry that we got it wrong! Oh it's the wrong number! The wrong number song! We're very very sorry that we got it wrong! " [Click...] Well that was random and weird as hell. "Tra la la..." I'm spooked by the sudden appearance of a fully cloaked figure in black on a wooden boat parked before me. "I am the riverman. Or am I the riverwoman...? It doesn't really matter. I love to ride in my boat. Would you care to join me?" The hell am I getting myself into here and why does this person sound like the phone weirdo? How would it even have my phone number? "Uh...yes?" "Where will we go today? Waterfall? Hotland?" "Waterfall please." "Then hop aboard and we'll be off." "How much?" It shakes its head. "No charge." Really? I can live with that. I step onto the boat and sit down before it begins to move in the water. How the boat is being controlled when the captain is not doing anything is a mystery I can't begin to think of. "Tra la la. What's inside an acorn? It's really just a mystery." I stare at this weirdo and grow in confusion. Is it just my imagination or paranoia that it also used the word mystery? "I'm pretty sure it's just a tree seed that squirrels really like. But who's to say they aren't just nuts." The pun is accidental. But it makes the figure look back at me. Nothingness. That's all there is in that hooded face. Just dark nothingness. "You need to be careful, little one." That name. That name sends chills down my spine. Only Gaster calls me that. Maybe it's just a coincidence. "Trust in the man who speaks in hands." ...Or not. "What did you say?" It nods. "Trust in the man who came from the other world." "Hold on...How do you know him?" It doesn't speak and this pisses me off. "How you know him?! How do you know about Gaster?!" My shouting stirs Flowey, who merely peeks his head out of the bag. This gets the Riverperson's attention. "Tra la la. Humans, Monsters...Flowers." I feel Flowey jerk back into hiding and I snarl. "Leave him alone. Quit being cryptic and get to your point! You obviously know things others don't." "The angel is coming..." Its voice is low with a warning and it turns away from me to face the water ahead of us. "You'd be wise to get that soul of yours under control...Tra la la." My blood runs cold. I know not what this "angel" is, but the warning of my soul is not good. This being knows more than it lets on. I don't like it. I only hope my actions haven't set up a disaster in the future. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My head canon for Fell drinking: Fell Lynsie reverts to Original Lynsie in terms of personality, she is kind, loving, goofy, and honest. Fell Sans has a strong tolerance but when he hits his limit he becomes bold, emotional, trusting, and more likely to be comfortable around others. So if they were acting funny/familiar to you, now you know the reason why.

[seleneshield]

Sick Day

@bow-tie-bartender

Selene sighed and came to stand more fully in the doorway, Grillby was right, “Ok ok, I’m sorry. If you had seen how out of it you were not long ago you would still be a worrywart too.” Leaning against the door frame she grabbed at her forearm as she tried to ease up, “I'm not even sure if you can get up on your own without issue so wanted to make sure you were comfortable and had everything you could need before I left. But I guess my worrying might be a little much. If you say you’ll be fine then I’ll trust you to be fine. You’re a big monster, can even run your own business and everything.” She looked up and gave him a funny little smirk, but at the sight of Grillby getting all flustered over the state of his unbuttoned shirt and his attempt to cover up she couldn’t help but burst out into a fit of giggles. “It's a little late for that dear and we’re trying to cool you down are we not? But don’t worry, we’re both adults here and I’m very discreet.” Pushing off the door frame Selene drew near once more and gave him a wink and a mischievous smile before bending over to gather his shoes from where they had been kicked to and neatly tucked them under his bed so he wouldn’t trip on them later. Grabbing her coat she shrugged it on, “I’m going to hold you to that promise mister!” Putting her gloves on she had a sudden thought and in a split second decision Selene awkwardly put both of her gloves on one hand and held it up for him could see so as to cut off any distress on his part before it could start, before giving his hand a quick affectionate pat. “And thanks, I would love to hear from you. Just send me a text letting me know how your doing when you wake up tomorrow, whenever that is. Take care, I hope you feel better real soon Grillby.” Giving him one last smile she properly put her gloves on and headed out of his room, grabbed her borrowed pillow cases, and headed out the door.

Downstairs she tidied everything up, grabbed the last of the ice filled pillow cases and transferred their contents into pots before storing them in Grillby’s freezer. Gathering up all eight pillow cases she gave Grillby’s place one last once over before locking up and heading out once and for all. The icy wind hit her still overheated person like a brick wall, leaving her swaying and leaning up against Grillby’s front door till she could gain her bearings. Filled with determination Selene trudged through the snow till she finally made it to the front door of the skeleton brothers. Wearily she went inside and thankfully found just the monster she was looking for angrily filling out a sticky note to add to the paper argument that continued to grow. “Oh Great Papyrus! Thank goodness you’re here! I’m in desperate need of Spaghetti as soon as possible and only you can help me! As thanks I will share with you the pasta secrets of the surface.” The lanky skeletons skull shot up and his sockets grew wide before practically shining with unbridled joy. “Oh Human! Such truly secret secrets will surely only enhance my greatness! I don’t know if anyone will be able to handle it! Quick! To the kitchen!” giving a weary smile to his retreating form she pulled off her coat and gloves, sat the pillow cases aside, and followed. She had been holding off on interfering with Papyrus’ pasta lessons but she just didn’t think she could handle his usual ‘masterpiece worthy of his food museum’ today, he seemed happy about learning ‘such secrets’ that she figured it would all be ok. Pulling up a chair she sipped on even more water to help replace what she lost today in sweat alone and gave Papyrus the basic instructions he needed, gently corrected the energetic impulses Undyne had taught him every now and then. He was doing great and soon she could finally dining on her first proper meal of the day and take a desperately needed nap, laundering and returning the pillow cases could wait. With a flourish Papyrus was done and damn if it didn’t smell heavenly, plating the dish the two soon hear Sans walk in just in time for the three of them to enjoy Papyrus best spaghetti to date.

[blackcatt4211]

Hello everyone! This message goes out to all the fans of monsters under my bed. If you haven’t checked it out already I highly recommend it, I’ll leave a link in the description below.

For anyone who hasn’t read ‘monsters under my bed’. here is the link I hope you enjoy and tell me what you think of it. I’m always open to suggestions and advice for the story to make it more enjoyable for you. all suggestions are taken very seriously and I alway love hearing positive feed back. It helps keep me motivated when I know ppl enjoy my work. also Here is the summary and tags to what this book is about.

WARNING!!! This is a rated ‘R’ story filled with graphic violence, nudity, and fowl laguage. People who are under the age of 18 shouldn’t be reading this. It is a very mature (not really mature but more for adults) book and if you don’t like this type of content. Simple answer... don’t read

I will tell you now I do not tolerate hate comments on my work so please lets be friends every one :3 mew

(please scroll down more for the update on ‘Monsters under my bed’)

Monsters under my bed

by

BlackCatt4211

Fandoms:

Undertale (Video Game)

Not Rated

Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con

F/M, M/M, Multi

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Rape/Non-Con

female reader/Sans

female reader/papyrus

female reader/Red

female reader/ Edge

female reader/Slim

female reader/Black

female reader/Blue

female reader/Stretch

Swapfell frontcest

Alphys/Undyne (Underswap)

Female Reader - Character

Swapfell!Papyrus

Swapfell!Sans

Underswap!Papyrus

Underswap!Sans

Undertale!Sans

Undertale!Papyrus

underfell!papyrus

underfell!sans

Underlust!Sans

Underlust!Papyrus

genderswap!Sandra

Genderswap Papi

Underswap!Undyne

Underswap!Alphys

Sibling Incest

Mistress

Hiding a true self

menchen of self harm

Sex

Smutt

Massages

Fluff

Cute and fun dates

awkward moments

Teasing

may add more tags

Attempted Rape/Non-Con

suggestion of HoneyMustard

Suggestion of PuffBerry

graphic description of violence

Threesome - F/M/M

Polyandry

Troubled Past

Slim's a pervert

Douche bag ex boyfriend

Violence against women

Summary

You lost your job, your boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend, and got kicked out of your apartment. Where do you go? A trip to the bar should help you think. Little did you know... that night changed your life forever.....

Hello all my fans, friends, and followers. We have come a long way from when we first started this book. It was originally just a side project, a random Idea that came to my mind at the time. After reading TONS of Undertale fan-fictions and comics, seeing all this fan art, (and working on actual side projects that was sadly never completed or never got posted, still have all my work but some of it is just terrible lol) I finally decided what to find out what it’s like to write a story based on the reader’s side of the story.

technically, my first readers view was a different book called “Finding Myself”. My first attempted of a reader’s P.O.V. book with Underfell!Papyrus/Reader/Underfell!Sans relationship. it was also my first experimentation of a 3-way relationship. It was about how our dear reader fell into a teffying place, Underfell and was found by UF!Sans. he took her back to his place where later on you meet UF!Papyrus and you fake a relationship with UF!Sans in order to live. UF!Papyrus gains an interested in you and thats when things started going wrong. you realize you have this dangerous amount of power and it becomes a terrible problem. (There’s a brief description on ‘finding myself for those of you who are interested.)

I had never attempted anything like it before and unforchanetly, I have gone on a hiatus on it due to lack of motivation and that this book is pretty much the only work I was focused the most on when I started getting more and more encouragement and suggested just pored in so when ‘Monsters under my bed, took off ‘Finding Myself’ was sadly left behind as of many of my other works. However, that doesn't mean I abandoned it. As of my other works.

See when I get an Idea I always write it down and come back to it, because life can get very, very busy. So I can always come back to any work I choose even if years had past. Pretty neat huh. However, in order for me to get the motivation to return to any past works, I need motivation (such as comments, like’s and suggestions). So for those of you who want me to work on older work you gotta tell me. But thats not why you guys are here.

For those of you who haven’t left yet from my ramblings heres a brief update on most of the change’s in ‘Monsters under my bed’ ;

Major Changes

‘Mistress’ Is no longer chapter 1 and became the introduction

The fighting scenes updated

The interaction with Slim outside in the parking lot is a little longer

Most (if not every)  grammar mistakes has been fixed

The reader now wakes up differently next to Slim

Texted edited in Grammar and spelling

Text updated based on Characters

Updated fluff scenes with certain characters to add more fluff and feels

Chapter’s 2,3,4 is now chapter 1 and is now called ‘Where am I? When do I move in?’ (Word count 4003)

Chapter’s 5,6,7 is now chapter 2 (Word count 3575)

Chapter’s 8,9,10 is now chapter 3 (work count 3690)

Chapter’s 11,12,13 is now Chapter 4 (word count 3132)

Chapter’s 14,15, 16 is now chapter 5 (word count 3718 )

Chapter’s 17, 18, 19 is now chapter  6 (word count 3641)

Chapter’s 20, 21, 22 is now chapter 7 (word count 4427)

Chapter’s 23, 24, 25 is now chapter 8 (word count 3351)

Chapter’s 26, 27, 28 is now chapter 9 (word count 3411)

Chapter’s 29, 30, 31, 32 is now chapter 10 (word count 5108)

Chapter’s 33, 34, 35 is now chapter 11 (word count 3654)

Chapter’s 36, 37, 38 is now chapter 12 and is now called ‘A date with Red’ (word count 3477)

Chapter’s 39, 40, 41, 42 is now chapter 13 (word count 4659)

Chapter’s 43, 44, 45 is now chapter 14 (word count 3657)

Chapter’s 46, 47, 48 is now chapter 15 (word count 3814)

Thats all the change’s thats happened so far. If I miss any I will repost the list with the newer one’s highlighted. I’m thinking about posting updates o the book about the books development every two weeks. what do you guys think about that?

hopefully you all will want me to post more of these. I love communicating with my fans and this helps so that everyone isn't in the dark about the book. I didn't post descriptive change’s for those who haven’t read it but are interested so sorry no one can see the actual change’s (unless they are an editor) until the update has been completed. With the drastic change in chapters and lengths i feel it be to comfusing to post as I go along so it will have to wait till me and my best friend @SofiatheHedgehog I highly suggest you check her out on Wattpad. she is a very talented Author who’s been helping on this project. I don’t think I’d make it this far without her honestly. So if your reading this Sophia, thank you Sissy! You’re a very talented author and im proud to be your friend :3

you guys can come check me out on twitter if you want and if you came from twitter, welcome to my tumblr page :)

Anyways thankyou for taking the time read this update and hopefully I will see you guys next time in the development of ‘Monster’s under my bed’. If you have any thought’s or questions, feel free to leave a comment message me. :3

Love you guys! Mew <3

[iamjjmmma]

“Number All my Bones: There and Back and There Again” Part 1, Chapter 6

Beginning:https://bit.ly/2NtGPgu

Previous: https://bit.ly/2Ey0uZI

Next:https://bit.ly/2BUlp7x

I was going to punish Sans later for his outburst, but other than the look he had on his face, there wasn’t anything that gave away that he was going to kill, or even hurt, anyone. To all the rest of us, it only looked like he was angry. Still, that didn’t stop me from thinking of something- maybe a night without his telescope, maybe a week of him not being allowed to play the trombone- but as soon as he staggered onto the couch and asked for the bucket, I thought that was punishment enough. Even if he does have better judgement than I do on these sorts of things. But something bugs me about what he said, even though Chara won’t tell me exactly what he said to get Sans so angry in the first place. What he said at the end plays in my head over and over again, like a song on repeat in a broken cellphone’s music player. “You should have killed me. That would’ve hurt less than this.” My shoulders slumping just a little, I let the children play together after something this disheartening. Thinking of researching what the piano a pink SOUL’s characteristics even were, the thought of Papyrus freezing in his jail cell very quickly made its way to the top of my mind again. I made my way to the phone in front of my desk, the number for the local law enforcement draining out of my fingertips. The first phone number was the local law enforcement center’s office, headed by… you guessed it… the HSO. Needless to say, when I called them, they told me they couldn’t accept phone calls with “my specific code”, and a few seconds of jumping around my thoughts told me that this meant any monster in the town, all of them closed inside our neighborhood. They apologized over and over again, and without another word, they hung up. The beeping from the phone in my ears practically drove me to the idea of running out of the backdoor and yelling ‘till the birds flew away, but still I called. The second phone number was the actual prison itself. At first, it was from a very nice woman who introduced herself as Sophia, and our conversation went something like this: “Sophia, you wouldn’t happen to have a way to contact any prisoners, would you?” “We do, but in some situations, and depending on who calls, they’re sometimes… closed off.” “I see.” She couldn’t see my teeth grit. “Is there any way we could at least obtain any trial dates?” “Well, sir, I’m very, very sorry about this, but again, this depends on who calls. We don’t want anyone prone to being criminals finding out about other prisoners, but-” “Ma’am. Are you saying that-” “Sir, I’m so sorry. I know how great monsters have been, really. I was at the live broadcast, too, and it’s much better than- God, much better than any of the shows I’ve seen lately. It’s just that it’s my first month here, and… jeez, I’m already going to get in so much trouble if I get caught doing this. And just the teeniest, tiniest infarction will get me so far down the road that-” I let myself relax, just a little. “It’s alright. I understand. But could I at least get hold of another-” It was as if she heard me. In the background, I heard a few loud sentences, ending with “punk”, and I knew she was there. Nobody could see my smile. “Hey, thanks for taking over, Sophie. And not hangin’ up on ‘im. We’ll keep this whole thing quiet. Promise.” A pause. “A’ight, G,” Undyne starts. “Before you ask any questions, he’s safe.” Safe. The word rolled over me like the last gentle ripples of water that come just before the shoreline, and I let myself lean back in my seat. She must have heard me sigh. “I knew that’d cheer you up. God, it’s awful what they did to ‘im. Makes me hate working here sometimes, even if it does put food on the table. They interrogated ‘im, too. Didn’t beat him up or anything, but it sure did scare the smile right off of ‘im. And what’s the worst part is...he’s uneasy. Really, really uneasy.” “If I was interrogated, I’d be much more than uneasy. I’d be angry. I-” I laugh. It’s the only thing I can do now besides crying. “I am angry. I… I’m so, so…” “Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. But this is…” She huffs. It’s never good news when she huffs. The last time she did, it was the first time any of us had seen a car on the road. We were all judging what it was, and when she huffed and said that it was safe… well, let’s just say I almost didn’t get to write this book. “...G, this is really different. It’s not like the regular uneasiness. He’s all jittery, begging to be on the phone with you. He says that if he doesn’t tell you, he’ll explode. And that if he doesn’t tell you, something… super, super, super bad is going to happen. I think-” “I think I should be on the phone with him, Undyne.” I could tell she didn’t hesitate because of the sound of her jail keys jingling, and I knew she broke into a run. This wasn’t like Papyrus at all. He wasn’t… the whole family isn’t suspicious at all. I attempted to explain everything that happened with science and some sort of psychology. When Papyrus asked me why he dreamed the silliest things every night, I couldn’t do anything but mutter something about his brain filing away random, silly bits of information. Sans asked me why Mr. Gosset the librarian has to have a substitute because he suffers from cancer, while the library assistant doesn’t. I said at least three paragraphs about heredity. And when he asked how to stop it, stop it completely, I moved to a different subject. In about a minute or so, I heard Papyrus’ voice, and the relief was enough to make me lie down on the second couch. “Hey, Paps.” Sans sat up as if nothing was wrong with him, smiled, started reaching for the phone, flapping his hand back and forth. With a little vindiction, I pressed the speaker button. “Hello!” His voice shook a little, but neither of us said anything about it as we all shouted out our greetings. Sans migrated to the other couch. “Hey, bro! How’ve you been?” “Well, brother, it’s been a little… distressing.” “Yes, I heard,” I butted in. “Undyne told me about it.” Sans looks at me like I’m a three- headed alien. “Wait, whaddya mean ‘distressing’?” Papyrus took a deep breath. “Since I’ve been here, I… I’ve felt uneasy. And it’s not just because I’m here. It’s an… all-of-the-time thing. Sometimes, I even forget I’m here, and I still feel uneasy. I just have a feeling you guys are going to do something while I’m gone, and do something horrible. I think-” “We’ll be fine,” I interrupted, and Sans looks at me like I’m a three-headed alien again. “Whatever we do, we’ll be careful. We promise.” “Well… alright…” Papyrus says. “But that still doesn’t stop me from feeling uneasy about something. It’s like you guys have just started doing something while I was gone, and if I don’t tell you what I think about it, it’ll go wrong…” The thought speeds into my head faster than I thought something could run. As a scientist, most of my thoughts, and all of my theories, seep into my head in a slow, forward march, about as slow as walking to somewhere that’s an arduous trip even by car. But this one is a truck, hitting me faster than anything. It’s the cameras. I tell him again how it’ll be alright before giving the phone to Sans, and the both of them talk until the phone battery dies. It’s the cameras.

[underimagines]

take me out (and we’ll karaoke)

3k One-Shot: Underswap!Mettaton/Reader for Audrey

Summary: You and Happstablook go out for karaoke.

read it on ao3 | tip-jar | commission me

God this place was nice.

“I know~!” Happstablook trilled, giggling at the awestruck look on your face. “Isn’t it just the most darling little café? I was doing some research on where a good place would be to take you—and a friend of mine happened to mention that this place had recently opened up a week or so ago.”

They twirled beneath the fairy lights strung up across the ceiling. “And I remembered how much you loved karaoke!”

“Ohmygod!” You lifted your balled-up fists. “Is this place a karaoke bar??”

You’d never have guessed it yourself.

The exterior of the place looked modern enough, but the inside was what caught you off-guard. It was a smooth mixture of boho and indie aesthetics. Fairy lights and potted plants hung from various points on the ceiling and walls. The smell of spices and potpourri wafted through the air.

With the small number of chairs, decorative lamps, and tables scattered around the lobby, it helped the place feel well-lived in, but not too cluttered. The lights gave it a touch of enchantment.

It was really freaking nice, was what you were saying. Nicer than anywhere you’d been in a while.

“I really hope you didn’t, like, break your wallet getting us a reservation here.” You couldn’t help but mumble, nibbling on your fingertips anxiously. “If you did, I’m going to drop dead, right here and now.”

Happstablook just rolled their big, half-lidded eyes and slid their tiny hand-nub into yours, tugging you along. “Come on, darling! If you think this is nice, just wait till you see what I got for us~.”

They practically sang the last part. It made your chest tighten and stomach flutter.

The woman at the front desk was dressed casually immaculate, with a nametag that read ‘Emma.’ A pair of thick-rimmed glasses were perched on her nose, framed by a constellation of freckles across her pale skin. She flashed you a smile of big, perfect teeth, and you immediately felt a little uncomfortable.

“Hi! Welcome to Rewind, how can I help you?”

Rewind, that was the name! You’d had trouble trying to figure out exactly what the sign outside had read—it’d been spelled “RE<<IND.”

Well, now you had confirmation that this place wasn’t just trying to be indie—it was indie.

“Hi, there, darling!” Happsta cooed back, floating up to meet her gaze across the mahogany desk. “We have a reservation—should be under ‘Blook and Company.’”

Emma nodded understandingly and moved to flip open the big black folder that sat off to her side. After scanning through it a bit, she tapped a finger somewhere in the list and gave you both another giant grin. “Found ya! Room 38-C, your allotted time slot is three hours in total and we’ll be delivering your requested meal around 6 pm. And since it’s 4 pm now…”

She glanced at her watch. “You’ll have your room until 7! Dinner is served in the main lobby area.”

“Perfect.” Happsta chirped, turning to meet your somewhat confused gaze. They gave you a little wiggle of excitement. “Thank you!”

“No problem!” Emma responded in just as friendly a tone. Just as you turned to walk away, she called out again. “Oh, wait, your key!”

“Oh!” Happstablook blew a raspberry at the air, rolling their eyes again. “Of course, we wouldn’t want to get ourselves locked in! Thank you darling.”

They took the key and turned to hold it up for you to see. It was just your average little, silver key. But the way Happsta was holding it up was like it was the key to the entire city.

“Now that we’ve got that out of the way, we should get going. This date won’t go on itself!”

Their excitement was contagious. You couldn’t help but smile as you followed them through the common room, to the elevator. “Why did they give you a key?”

“The rooms lock automatically from the inside,” They explained, pressing the button for your floor. “It’s for security reasons—only someone with the key would be able to get in from the outside.”

“Oh.” You nodded. The elevator music wafted between you, filling the small gap of silence, before you spoke again. “Did she say they were going to deliver dinner to us?”

They made a noise of affirmation. “I told you it was going to be a special place! Oh, darling, I know you’ll just love it!”

“Damn and I thought it was fancy before.” A nervous laugh bubbled in the back of your throat. “Be serious with me, how much is all this gonna cost?”

“I’m not telling!” They teased. “If I did, you’d just make a big deal out of it.”

“Of course, I would.” You agreed without hesitation. “This is the fanciest place I’ve been to in months. I’m serious! And you went out of your way to set up all of this, just for me!”

They tilted their head back in forth in a so-so manner. “Well you’re half right, darling. What sort of gentle-ghost would I be if I didn’t treat my beautiful girlfriend to the very best that life has to offer? …Buuut. I didn’t do it just for you.”

You glanced at them in confusion, but they turned away, biting their lip and wiggling with joy as the elevator continued its descent. “Are you really doing this for dramatic effect?”

“Shh!” Finally, the elevator stopped with a ding. “Like I said, I didn’t do it just for you…”

You rolled your eyes and smiled, playing into their little game.

As the doors opened to reveal the long, plush carpeted hallway, they turned to you and smiled mischievously. “I did it for the both of us.”

“Yeah, yeah, you showboat.” They stuck out their tongue, a gesture which you returned playfully. “Shouldn’t you be sweeping me off my feet by now?”

“Oh, I’ll be a doing a lot more than that,” Happsta chirped, taking your hand again. “Follow me!”

Just looking at the lavish room made you feel like you were losing money by the second.

“Isn’t this precious?” Happsta crooned, twirling into the center of the room. Peach walls framed the redwood floor. Several bright red armchairs were scattered around in a semi-circle, punctuated by a round table in the middle that looked like it was the same mahogany as the front desk. A bowl of potted flowers hung over the top of it from a hook on the ceiling.

You walked in, practically on your toes, scared to settle in. There were candles lining the high shelves. The scent of lavender filled your nose, chasing away your anxiety with each deep breath you took. “It’s gorgeous. Are those autographed photos?”

Sure enough, a line of black twine was strung across one end of the room, decorated with pictures held up with clothing pins.

A familiar face caught your eye as you stepped up to inspect them. “Is that Napstaton?”

There was no mistaking it. You’d recognize that grinning face anywhere.

He had his arm slung around a man who looked to be in his 40s or so. With one hand, he angled the camera down at them both. With the other, he shot a peace sign.

“Ey yo Tony where’s that fresh pepperoni! Thanks for the VIP tour, dawg, this is gonna be the hottest new hangout on the block before you know it!! – Sincerely, Napstaton”

Happstablook read it aloud over your shoulder, mimicking their cousin’s Californian accent.

“I can’t believe he actually wrote that,” They hummed, shaking their head.

“I can.” There was something utterly ridiculous about what he’d written and how he’d signed off. “He’s such a goof.”

“Yes, but he’s a goof with good taste.” Happsta met your gaze and glanced away. “Sometimes.”

“I should have known.” You smiled, putting the photo back in place. “When you mention pulling strings, it always leads back to Napstaton.”

They looked insulted. “Well, it wasn’t all him, you know! Undyne had some say in it, too.”

“I can only imagine what Undyne had to say.” You scanned the rest of the photos. Most of them were of big name local celebrities, or small-time international ones. There was one of Papyrus mixed in, and you were almost certainly sure that he’d snuck it in himself.

“She made some good points.” Happsta huffed, tiny cheeks puffing out. They always looked so cute when they got sour. “Besides, darling, I don’t see you complaining!”

You shrugged lightly and turned back to face them. “I’m not, this place is great. It always surprises me how much influence Napstaton has over such a broad empire of…stuff.”

“Mm, you’re right!” They sighed, nodding with a semi-defeated look. “The boy is as flashy as he is talented, I’ll give him that. But, changing the topic! I didn’t get us this karaoke room just so we could gawk at pictures of my cousin, you know~.”

Happsta wiggle-floated all the way over the flat-screen that hung on the wall. They grabbed two of the four microphones and handed you one, reaching for the remote. A list of various songs popped up, and they hummed thoughtfully as they scrolled through them.

“Anything in particular catch your eye?” They spoke in a half-aware tone.

“Not really, I’m good with anything!” You paused. “Except country.”

Your partner laughed. “I happen to think I’d look quite dashing in a ten gallon!”

You snickered, leaning into one of the chairs. “Don’t go giving Napstaton any more cowboy-related ideas! God, remember that time he tried to go bronc riding at that monster truck thing?”

They shivered. “Oh, darling, please don’t remind me. It took forever for Doctor Undyne to reattach his arm.”

“Does he still have the boots?”

“Yes.”

“Does he still wear the boots?”

“…Yes.”

You shook your head. Poor Undyne. The mental image it gave you was enough to make you want to curl into a tiny ball and disappear. “Oof. But anyway, yeah, I’m not a great singer so it’s not like the genre will do much to change that.”

“Must you insult yourself, daring?” Happsta glanced at you disapprovingly. “I, for one, think you have a lovely singing voice.”

“We’re dating, you’re supposed to say that.”

“Be that as it may, I’m telling the truth!” They looked a little annoyed.

“I know that, Happsta. If there’s one thing you are, it’s honest with your opinions.”

That perked them up a little. “Why, thank you, darling~!”

“That does not change the fact that I think I have a singing voice that could make dogs howl.”

“Oh!” Their cheeks puffed up again, pink ectoplasm flushing red over the extended skin. Happsta narrowed their eyes at you, before their lips quirked up in a playful smile. “Prove it.”

You blinked. “What?”

“If you really think you’re no good,” Your boo turned slowly to face the television, lifting the microphone to their lips. They glanced at you from the corner of their eye. “Then you’ve gotta prove it to me.”

“…Are you trying to use reverse-psychology on me?”

“Is it working?”

Your serious expression finally cracked, and you let the smile you’d been holding back slip out. “Yes.”

“Then yes!” They nudged the other microphone in your direction, beaming. “Come on darling, I didn’t get this room just to sing all by myself, though I did get it to sing.”

Rolling your eyes, you snatched the microphone off the table and moved to stand beside them. “Alright, you little poltergeist, let’s do this.”

With a bounce and wiggle, Happsta clicked on a playlist that read “BLOOK RESERV.”

“Did you get them to set up a playlist for us?”

“Shh!” They reached out, pressing a nub hand against your lips. “Shhh.”

You tried to speak again, but they placed their hand back over your mouth. “Shhh.”

Open. Pat. “Shh-shhh-shh.”

Open. Pat. “Shhhhhh.”

They pulled away when you shot them a Look. “Just trust me!”

“Fine.” You smiled. “But this had better be good!”

You were absolutely eating all of your words, with extra hot Shame Sauce.

Happstablook looked more than pleased with the reaction they were getting from you, which was a mixture of giddiness, playful dramatics, and a smile so wide that it hurt your cheeks.

They’d picked all of your favorite songs.

The entire playlist looked like it’d been copied and pasted from the music library of your phone—knowing Happsta, it might have been.

Though you’d started off quiet and awkward, by the end of the first song you were twirling and dancing and waving your hands around like Napstaton did on stage.

Happstablook let loose too, flipping their little tuft of ecto-hair and wiggling their hips like they were in a dance competition with a Moldsmal.

“And I,” You crooned, leaning towards them dramatically. They echoed your pose, until the sides of your heads were touching, and your voices layered over one another harmoniously. “Had! The time of my li-i-ife, and I owe it all to you…!”

On cue with the beat, you both pulled out your best disco moves. You dragged a finger from your hip to pointing above your head, while Happsta did the best version of a hustle that they could manage. Neither of you were on rhythm with the song itself, but you didn’t really care. You just smiled and laughed and made silly faces.

They were right, you were having a great time.

And then, right in the middle of your rendition of a funky chicken, someone knocked on the door.

Very much like the chicken you were mimicking, you made a loud, ridiculous squawking sound and tumbled back. Happsta caught you just before you had the chance to slam into the circular table.

“Oof, careful darling! If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you had two left feet—but what would I know? I have no feet!”

They chuckled brightly, and the person knocked again.

“Oh, right.” Happsta cleared their throat dramatically. “Yes?”

“It’s Emma!”

You scrambled to open the door. Sure enough, Emma stood in the hallway, beaming and wiggling her perfectly painted nails in an excited wave. “Heya! I’m just here to remind you that dinner is in 5 in the common room, and you should leave your keys at the front desk. You can come get them again after you’ve finished eating.”

It was said in a robotic, rehearsed way. Though her smile said, “customer service” her eyes screamed “when is my shift over.”

Between the pity you felt and the shock of her falsely positive tone, all you could manage was a silent nod.

“Thank you, darling!” Happsta swayed up to take their place next to you, offering Emma a genuine smile. That drew the sunshine back to her face, and her eyes softened considerably. “We’ll give you a visit soon.”

She nodded briefly and turned, calling over her shoulder. “Alright, see you guys then!”

As the door clicked closed, you sighed in relief. “Man, she looked beat.”

“I imagine she is.” Happstablook made a sound of affirmation. “While these sorts of establishments are lush on the outside, it’s usually the employees who suffer the most at the end of the day.”

“Oh…”

They turned, shock swallowing the sadness that had flashed in their eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry, darling! I didn’t mean to say something so depressing. I’m certain she loves her job—it must just be a lot to handle.”

“No, I know what you mean.” You offered him a tense smile. “That just reminds me of how hard reception work is. I had a job like that once and you’re right, it was exhausting.”

“Mm.” They briefly glanced towards the carpet, before turning to offer you a much more relaxed grin. “But let’s not spoil the night with stuff like that. We’ve still got dinner to look forward to, and then another hour of fun before we can turn in for the evening!”

You nodded back, pushing the flashbacks of desk work from the forefront of your mind. “Yeah, you’re right.”

As if on cue, your stomach growled. “Speaking of dinner…”

Happsta giggled. “I suppose we should head that way.”

After you put everything back in place and stepped into the hallway, Happsta furrowed their brows. “Here, let me turn in the key.”

“Are you sure?” It was a bit of a surprise, but nothing that seemed exceptionally worrisome.

“Yes, I have a question that I’d like to ask the young lady at the front desk, anyway.” They gave you a smile and a wink, wiggling the key in one hand. “I’ll be right back, darling, so you just wait for me here, okay?”

“Uh…okay, sure.” Without much else to do, you did.

And true to their word, it only took them a few minutes to return back to your side.

“What was that about?”

“Hm?” Their smile was positively impish. “Oh, it’s nothing big. Let’s just say that our lovely receptionist friend will be finding a hefty tip on her desk.”

Warmth bloomed in your chest like a flower. “Happsta, that’s so sweet!”

They blushed, swishing from side to side. “It’s nothing. I just figured that, well, since you had a point. And she’s had such excellent customer service, that it wouldn’t hurt, especially since we had such a lovely evening.”

“Well,” You gave them a big, happy smile. “It’s not over yet! We’ve still got dinner to look forward to.”

“And more singing!”

You giggled. “And singing. How many songs did you put in that playlist anyway?”

Their lips turned up in a way that you could only compare to a cat emoji. “You’ll just have to find out.”

Leaning against the wall, you took a moment to stretch. “Thanks again, Happsta. I’ve had a really good time tonight.”

They grinned, “Who knows, maybe this could be ‘our place’ someday?”

You rolled your eyes again as they slipped their tiny hand into yours but smiled anyway.

‘Our place.’ You liked the sound of that.

Another Underswap commission for another lovely returning customer! Thank you to Audrey, for being such a darling and giving me another chance to write for you; it's always a pleasure~! (PS: The song I’m referencing in the title is “Karaoke” by Smallpools, you should check it out!)

- Mod Mellow

[creative-poptart]

What would UT and SF Papyrus, US and UF Sans reactions to listening to the radio while cleaning with their S/O when the song "I'm a Believer" came on. S/O smiles and starts to sing the song to them. At the end of the song, S/O tells them to wait right there. S/O runs to their bedroom. They come back down and say "We have been dating for a while now and I love you with all my heart and soul. What I sang to you was true! I have never been happier to have you in my life. Will u marry me?" ~Odd-Anon

This is literally so cute what????? I must include all the fluff in it!!

UT Papyrus/Creampuff: At first, he really thinks it’s just a dance party for two in the kitchen, which is perfectly fine! Spontaneity helps keep the relationship a bit more interesting in his book! While he may not be super inclined to just start being too goofy all the time, he really loves you and would do almost anything for or with you. When you begin to sing to him, Creampuff’s a grinning, happy, blushing mess. The words will only start to clue in around the chorus, and at that point, he’s beaming with happiness. As soon as you dart away to your room and return with the ring, he’s got you in his arms, crying. Don’t be mistaken, he’s the happiest skeleton alive right now, but Creampuff will be sobbing as he kisses you. You have made his day/week/year/life with this proposal, and the wedding planning will begin immediately.

“YOU MEAN..? OH MY STARS, YES!! I WILL ABSOLUTELY MARRY YOU! WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT THE WEDDING IS PERFECT!! WHAT DO YOU THINK?”

SF Papyrus/Rus: He’s not really one for wildly outlandish dates, so this is actually perfect for him. A night in the house with just the two of you together, dancing and singing till the sun comes up. Rus really can appreciate the smaller ideas that only involve some fun together, and this is right up his alley. As soon as you begin to sing, he’s going to sing along just a little bit and grin at you. Just watching you be happy makes his soul sing your praises, and he’s more than happy to join, but only for a little bit. When you tell him to wait for a minute to go get something, he does so. Rus’ sockets go wide when you present him with the ring and tell him your piece, and now he’s an emotional mess. Many things are going through his skull right now, but they all center on how much he loves you and how lucky he is. 

“you really wanna marry me? darlin’ you don’t know how happy that makes me t’ hear that, an’ i can’t wait for the weddin’. can we do a small ceremony for friends and family?”

US Sans/Blue: You two are just cleaning up from lunchtime in the kitchen, having a good time jamming to the radio when a particular song comes on. Without hesitation, you break into song, and Blue can’t help but think of how wonderful this is. He has his lovely datemate with him, singing and having a good time while making sure that everything is okay. He’s ecstatic that you chose him and that you two have been dating for all this time. When you dash out of the room to go get something, he pulls out the little ring box that he’s been saving for a few months now, hoping he can propose. However, when you kneel down and give him the explanation, Blue can’t help but laugh and show you the ring he got you! It’s a delightfully sweet moment you two share, and he’s more than happy to sweep you off your feet and kiss you as you exchange the engagement rings.

“WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED THAT WE WERE THIS IN SYNC? I SUPPOSE THAT THERE’S ONLY ONE ANSWER THAT WE CAN SAY, AND THAT’S YES!!”

UF Sans/Red: These kinds of days fluster him a lot because you’re just so sweet to him, and he doesn’t know how to handle you. Red isn’t the best with his feelings, but he definitely knows that you are one of the best things to have ever happened to him. Your smile can make his whole day that much better, and he loves every bit of you, even if he can’t exactly put it into words. The moment you started singing and dancing around him, at first he found it really funny. However, once Red starts to pay attention to the words, he’s super embarrassed and trying to get you to stop. He doesn’t mean any of the slightly rude things he’s saying, but at this point, you know that he doesn’t process these situations in the best of ways. When the ring and proposal finally come around, he’s already speechless, but you somehow made it worse on him.

“c’mon, ya can’t do this to me, y’ know i get embarrassed easily! but, i do have t’ admit that i love ya lots, so... i will marry you, but please keep the celebration small.”

Thanks for the ask, Odd-Anon!!

[forgivemeimmafloof]

Heres the first of many with the Greek Myth Au. I thought about the background for a bit and decided to make it like the terracotta vases they made back then. And I don’t know if its clear, I decided to make UT Sans Zeus, and Papyrus Athena.

Heres why.

Zeus had a lot of faults. A lot. So many. But he was the king of gods and held honor and justice highly, he was also the god know to keep oaths or hold oaths/promises in high regard - and was known to make sure others kept to their promises. Sure, he had many an affair, but if I was married to Hera I wouldn’t exactly be to happy either. (Which I am not doing to Sans in this situation. NO HERA IN HERE-A.) I can see Sans as Zeus because Zeus may had done things that weren’t exactly right, may have ignored things here and there; but he was man who took on a lot of responsibility and waited till he was at his strongest to do what he believed was right. 

Athena being Papyrus is pretty obvious I feel. I had debate on making Undyne Athena, seeing as one of Athena’s symbol’s was a spear and the clear indication on battle plans... But the more I thought on it, and the more I decided on which other characters would be which gods - I decided that the best suited for Paps was Athena. Athena is smart and thoughtful, she’s known to be wise, and she was always quick on her feet with good decisions. I see Papyrus as one of those people who looks naive but often does things with carefulness, thinking on his feet and trying to think things through. Thats why he studied up on dating, and why he’s so excited to join the royal guard; he’s planned hard and worked hard... So yeah. 

I understand people might not like which gods I picked for which characters in the future, but its kind of hard to match the gods who’s personalities were mostly jealous and hateful or well... The developed gods like Zeus, Poseidon and Hades were all known to have something about them that wasn’t right. With Zeus he was always sleeping around (But then most gods did), with Poseidon he had a horrible temper and mood swings, with Hades he... Well though he wasn’t evil he did things that most definitely were bad. The developed gods are usually always bad in greek myth, and the underdeveloped gods like Hestia and Persephone were framed to be good. Most of the Undertale characters are good at heart, with minor exception, so its hard to really put them in the roles of greek gods. I’m trying though, and if you want to throw your two sense on who you think should be which god, you can go right ahead! I’d love to hear your opinions and share mine! 

Anyway, Apparently I had caught a master blaster of a cold, so I’m gonna pass out rn. Ily guys, sorry I’m always getting sick or hurt, I guess I just lack immunity. 

[alemeino-blog]

A Not So Prefect Anniversary

Pairing: Kustard (UF Sans/ UT Sans)

Tags: Romance, Couples bullshit, angst?, Happy ending, also Sans is an a-hole. Still happy and fluffy.

___________________________________________________________

Despite the near impossible weather underground, Sans was almost never surprised by how harsh conditions got in Snowdin. It seemed as if the barrier itself controlled weather with its magic, changing it almost to fit human seasons. Even if no summer existed in the snowy forest or no rain fell in the fiery Hotland. Yet it was always near these dates that the temperature lowered and blizzards grew stronger and more frequent. Nearly no one ever was outside and the town looked more ghostly than the usual warm welcome it held.

But unlike others, who were with family gathered around the fireplace or drinking hot cocoa wrapped in blankets while watching Japanese cartoons or MTT, Sans found himself down in the lab, with his hoodie and a blanket on sitting on his stool looking at the transporter. It was probably the second anniversary of when he and Red had met, and like last time they were planning on spending it at Sans'. Heck Sans had been planning to take the other to Waterfall but the weather decided to mess up with his plans. If Red came that is.

He had already been waiting for more than an hour, the cocoa his brother had prepared already cold from being left untouched on the cool table. A cold breath escaped Sans as he wrapped the blanket closer, glancing up at the ticking clock as it hands pointed at 20 past ten. They had already made plans the week before for what they would do, deciding to spend it at Sans' verse since Red refused to let his softer version stay at his universe anymore than he needed to. Saying how it would only be a pain in the ass for him to have to watch his way laid back boyfriend to make sure he didn't do anything stupid and get himself killed. He was an adult for goodness sake he didn't need Red pampering him as if he were some baby bones. Sure he may be weaker, smaller, and heck way lazier than Red but that didn't mean he couldn't take care of himself.

He sighed, already thinking about how overprotective his boyfriend was and how much he simply cared for his health and happiness. Often times overlooking himself. God how he wanted to be wrapped around those sturdy arms and held close, not needing a fire or blanket because the magic and love radiating was warmer than any fire place. Glancing up at the clock which pointed to half past ten, he wondered what could be taking Red so long. Was there a problem with the machine? Not likely, each made sure both were running two days ago and Sans just checked his. Was Edge screaming at him to go do chores and tasks? Not an option for the edgier version if his brother was trying to make amends with Red and try to fix their relationship. Probably to impress Papyrus with how much of a good monster he was trying to be, at least to Red.

Did Red forget...or.... not care...?

Sans scoffed it off, not believing it for a single bit. The idea itself was crazy, unbelievable, impossible. If Sans knew anything about Red was, he was loyal to those he truly cared for. His devoted loyalt was probably a reason to why he barely trusted anyone, much like why Sans' devotion to keeping promises was why he hated making them. So why, what was taking Red so long? What could be keeping him back for nearly three hours?

Sans shivered again, beginning to feel the outside cold seep in to his lab. He may be a skeleton but heck even he could feel dire temperatures. Laying his chin on his hands, he waited for the door to open up, to see those piercing yet beautiful red eyelights and to bury his nose hole deep into the other's jacket and taking in that welcoming smell of mustard. He felt his eyes droop and forced them awake for he didn't want to fall asleep. He just had to stay up to at least see the other.

**************

Red mentally cursed himself as he ran back home. Not only had he fallen asleep at work but Doggo and his gang decided to be complete dick heads and decided to pester him, which eventually led to Red snapping out and nearly dusting them while escaping from the ones he couldn't damage as easily. On top of that he was on his way down and fogoted the anniversary gift he had gotten Sans so he had to teleport to his room and scavenge for it. Lucky for him his room wasn't nearly as messed up as Sans, but it was still basically a dump. After a whole he managed to find where he had hidden it in case Sans decided to come over and their date happened to take him to his room. Grabbing the passage he glanced at the clock, already late as hell as he teleported back to his lab, not caring if he was dressed nicely or not anymore.

As he got there however he realized the machinery was running low on gasoline so whoopsie number three! 'Fuck can anything go right already?!,' Red bitterly thought as he teleported to Alphys' lab, stealing some of hers and not caring as she yelled curses at him. Not like she could do anything. Even if she got her girlfriend Undyne on it she doubted stealing gasoline was an exuse to kill someone over it.

Red hated having to use that instead of electricity like Sans did. Unlike his alternative Red didn't have the tools at hand to make it electrical, since his dick of a brother never let him get anything and Alphys and him weren't exactly lab partners, reffering back to the recent incident. So he had to stick with gasoline which was rare in the Underground, only Alphys had some that he knew. Often Chillby gave him some or he found a bit at the dump but he had completely forgotten ot refill. With that done Red rushed to grab the package, disposed of the now empty canteen and flipped the switch after typing in the coordinates for Sans' universe.

Getting out he was gonna check at the clock, till his eyes fell upon the figure wrapped in a blanket, asleep on the chair. His soul felt a pinch of guilt and pain as he saw the figure was Sans. He had been waiting for him till is will gave out, till he passed out. Red cursed at himself for not having been more prepared. He looked at the table as he placed the gift there, seeing two cups of cocoa already too cold to call it hot. One was half empty while the other was untouched. He had prepared it all for him, and he was such a horrible boyfriend that due to his messiness he got there too late. God Sans was probably having who knows what sorta ideas due to him. Whatever the case he really hoped it wasn't self blame.

Knowing standing in his own self loathing wasn't going to do much he had to decide whether or not to wake his alternative. As much as he wanted to spend time with him, who knows if the other had had a long day. Not to mention how Red would have to explain to Sans how, because he was a complete idiot, he had to run this way and that yet still got late. What a great boyfriend he was! Looking at Sans' sleeping form, it would probably be best to celebrate their anniversary tomorrow. And from the cold air, he probably knew the weather outside was hell, heck his own universe was going through the same thing, how could he not know. Picking his sleeping boyfriend he teleported them to the other's room, deciding to pick up the present tense following day.

Red was basically sweating, having spent so much magic and energy all at the same time. Heck he may have a bit more stamina but that didn't mean he didn't tire out easily, he was a Sans for goodness sake!

He laid the other down on the bed before kicking off his sneakers and climbing in afterwards. As if on instant he felt Sans cuddle deeper into Red's turtleneck, yet not showing signs of stirring or waking up. 'Needy ass,' thought Red with a chuckle as he rolled his eyes, wrapping an arm around Sans as he shut his eyes, despite having already over slept at work.

Yes their anniversary didn't go as planned but at least they were together and they were still alive. At least the still had each other and that was all they really needed. Both smiled, especially Sans after he smelled that familiar mustard smell close in around him and felt the embrace in response to his cuddling.

'Just as planned,' thought Sans as he smirked, Red not being able to see as he was buried into the crimson turtleneck.

___________________________________________________________

Hewwo everyone, long time no see. Yeah I got a bit of motivation back in my shitty ass life so I decided to waste it all on this shit! Yep I know it is crappy as fuck but if I don't write me some Kustard than what other reason do I have to live? I know this is shity as fuck and I know I made a shit ton of grammatical errors but ey, my English isn't perfect, ain't my first language either. Anyways do whatever ya want to this, like, reblog, report, hate. Don't know don't care it is nearly 2 in the morning, I'm hungry, tired yet my insomia is acting up. Whatever, this shit will probably be ignored. Anyways, bye.

[skeletorific]

Heeeey, what's up! I just started following your blog and it is the best thing ever! your characterizations are A+++ on point. Anyway, have you considered the UT/UF/US/SF bros reactions to... Soulmates? like meeting them for the first time? or just being with them?(I believe your ask box is open, if not or if you just don't like this ask ignore:) Thanks for your time!

……Is it weird that I’m pretty sure this is the first request I’ve gotten for soulmate AU? Weird with how common that concept is in this fandom. Anyways for the sake of this the clearest indicator for SOULMATE is a strong buzzing sensation in your SOUL when you touch. However, Soulmates will likely be drawn to each other personally before any physical touch and quickly developed romantic feelings can be taken as an indication of at least soul compatibility, if not mate status. Also thank you so much for the compliment

UT!Sans: Honestly, always kind of assumed he was the kind of guy without a soulmate.

He’d heard others describe the feeling. A tugging, an emptiness, sometimes faint echoes of emotions you couldn’t really explain, like a magnet or a ghost pulling you towards your other half. He’d never really felt that. Well, maybe the emptiness, but he’d always chalked that up to his old pal depressive tendencies (soon to evolve into full on depression).

Not to say he was terribly disappointed. He’d seen plenty of people work out without being soulmates. Undyne and Alphys for instance. They weren’t soulmates, and they were working out just fine. Toriel and Asgore were, and look how that turned out. Soulmates wasn’t a guarantee that you’d workout as partners, or everlasting love or any of that. It just meant there was something deep inside you that resonated. Love or hate, you couldn’t be neutral towards each other, and the universe would do its best to throw you together in some capacity.

So when he’s selling hot dogs to a decent looking human on  a street corner and he feels a strange buzzing in his chest as his phalanges brush yours when he hands it to you….he’s honestly not sure what his reaction is. There’s a thrill, sure, and a cold sweat,  but also a strange urge to just let you walk away and never speak again.

No such luck. You felt it too, and unlike him had no context to explain it.

“Uh….sorry, kind of a magic  equivalent of static electricity.” He says, pulling an explanation out of his ass.

“Oh.” There’s a pause and then something in your eyes glinted. “So is the hotdog free then?”

“….what?”

“Cause you already…charged me for it.” You burst out laughing before you even finish it. “Sorry, couldn’t resist, that was bad.”

His face slowly stretches into a crooked grin. After a few more bad jokes he asks you if you’re doing anything later.

He doesn’t bring up the Soulmate thing. Doesn’t want to put any kind of pressure on you, he knows the concept is pretty unique with humans. Not to mention he’s not sure himself where this is going. But you seem cool. Definitely got the same shitty sense of humor. Papyrus seems to like you too (he doesn’t tell him either, doesn’t need that wrench in the works).

He tells himself it’ll be fine. Just platonic friends, maybe something more, but why rush himself. But he’s falling faster than normal. Its like something inside him…..ever seen a door slightly ajar get pushed into place so the latch clicks? It feels like that. Not a big change, but something feels right that wasn’t before. The connection is simpler, and yet deeper than he’s used to having, and….he’d never forgive himself if he let this turn into another unchased possibility.

Chances are he’ll never tell you you’re soulmates. He doesn’t like how compulsory that sounds, doesn’t want you to think he only became your friend and later your partner because his magic told him to.

UT!Papyrus: He believes strongly in soulmates but is a little too paranoid about it. Any kind of strong immediate feelings (he assumes) could indicate soul compatibility, explaining his tendency to commit quickly to relationships. Soulmate spotting doesn’t come with a hard and fast list of symptoms. It hits everyone differently and young monsters grow up hearing “You’ll know it when you see it”. Frustrating, to say the least. Thus his tendency to fall hard and fast. He keeps getting disappointed, but as always, Papyrus is an indefatigable optimist.

But for as alert as he is he could never have predicted how it would hit him. He and Undyne were out walking when they saw someone’s purse being stolen. Naturally Undyne pursued, with him close behind. She cut the thief off while he came on them from behind, preventing any escape. The thief whirled on him, face meeting chest……and right where your nose brushed his Soul buzzed excitedly.

Both of you stop in surprise. You drop the bag, yelping as you clutch at your chest. What the hell?! Papyrus staggers a bit, and his eye sockets go unbelievably wide. Undyne is confused but takes advantage of the opportunity to sweep your legs and pin you to the ground. Before she can get too far though Papyrus calls out “WAIT, THAT’S MY SOULMATE!”

All three of you are struck dumb.

“What the hell, Pap, are you sure?” She lifts up your head, none too gently. “This scum?”

“E-EVIDENTLY.” He kneels down and picks up the bag, fixing you with a kind smile. “BUT IF THEY ARE MY SOULMATE THEN OBVIOUSLY THERE MUST BE SOME GOOD IN THEM!”

Naturally at first you want nothing to do with this bizarre monster, chest buzz or not. Especially after his friend made you return the purse and forced you to say you’d come see them tomorrow or Undyne would report you. You show up determined to rebuff any attempts at kindness, you just want to move on.

But slowly, he starts to wear you down. He’s too sweet to hate, and besides, he keeps the angry fish lady off your back. His brother doesn’t trust you but seems to default to his brother’s judgment.

As time goes on the relationship blossoms. Papyrus never forces you to a place relationally you’re not ready to go, but he insists that you can’t not be involved in some respect. He’s one of the few people in your life convinced you’re not a bad person. And somehow he manages to convince not only the others, but you.

Papyrus, with his infinite patience, unbeatable optimism, and genuine sweetness, slowly wins you over. You become a better person because of him. Not that he’d ever admit he did anything. “JUST BROUGHT OUT THE GOODNESS THAT WAS HIDING IN YOU ALL ALONG, DATEMATE!”

UF!Sans: Meeting your soulmate while drunk probably isn’t the ideal scenario, but given the ratio of drunk to sober days he has most weeks its not mathematically that surprising.

Unfortunately for him at the time he’s unable to distinguish the buzz in his soul when his arm slings around your waist from any of the variety of buzzes human alcohol gives a skeleton monster. Given that you’re half in the tank too you likely aren’t really aware of what’s happening either. But he likes your eyes and you’re decent company, and that pretty soft body, damn……one thing leads to another and he wakes up with a splitting headache, a naked human in his bed, and a tugging in his soul that’s becoming more noticeable the more you cuddle up to him.

Fuck.

Red’s never really been into the idea of soulmates. Namely because he doesn’t want to see whoever pairs perfectly with this dumpster fire. So he tamps the feeling down. Probably bad booze. He waits till you get up, you exchange numbers, and you’re out the door.

You hang out a few more times. Sometimes to hook up. Sometimes just to drink or get some food when you’re in the same area. They’re not officially dates, he’s certainly not going out of his way to make it romantic. But you’re funny, sexy, and fun to be around. Seem to think the same about him (for gods know what reason), so he doesn’t feel the need to justify it. The tugging and ache….well, they don’t go away. But he’s getting better at ignoring it.

Or, well, he was. He notices you pawing at your sternum until finally you break down. “Hey, look, I’m not saying its your fault, but there’s like this weird feeling in my chest whenever we hang out. Is that like a magic thing?”

“Uh…” Fuck, he’s usually a better liar but you hit him out of the blue. “Yeah, maybe.”

You’re smart enough not to buy it. You slowly start prodding him for the actual answer until he snaps and tells you. Before it can sink in he vanishes. You don’t seem him for a few days and he doesn’t answer his phone.

You: Red?

You:?

You: Look, its not……I don’t want to be rude but its not a big deal I guess?

You: If you don’t want to be with me like that or whatever

You: But you’re a great guy, be a damn shame to lose my drinking buddy over this dumb universe shit

You: so what do you say?

One hour later

Red: grillby’s tonight?

You: If you’re buying

Red: yeah, yeah, my tab

The two of you do this for months, insisting that this is fine. You’re soulmates. Its whatever. If you wanna hang out, you’re gonna hang out, it’s not because of that.

If he flirts, it’s because he does that all the time, not cause you’re soulmates.

If kisses start lasting longer, outside the context of the occasional one night stand, soft pecks when he’s dropping you off, it’s not….it’s not because of that.

At some point the lines between a relationship and friends with benefits slowly blur into each other faster and faster until you’re officially partners. It’s only then that you start to realize…..shit, guess this soulmate junk may have something to it.

UF!Papyrus: You don’t know what you totally expected when you went out shopping that day. But it definitely didn’t include brushing by two skeletons, feeling a weird thrill in the center of your chest, and having the taller one turn around and shriek “YOU?!?!”

Edge believes in soulmates too. But he’s got something very specific in mind. Someone who will follow orders, keep their space clean, shower him with kisses RESPECT and who’ll help him keep Sans’ ass in line. So coming across a random stranger in the mall and boom, that’s your soulmate?!?!?! Not allowed. Unacceptable.

Alright, alright, he can work with this. He chases you down, and if he somehow manages not to scare you off in the first five seconds of charging towards you your number is demanded requested and you are ordered to show up at his house first thing tomorrow morning.

You don’t know why you’re playing along, but….soulmates, huh? You’d never really thought it was a thing, but that buzz in your chest. That was definitely real. And there’s something charming about his overblown bluster, in a cartoon villain kind of way. You do it. You show up at his house. No one seems more surprised than his brother.

Naturally you’re going to fall short of at least a couple of his standards. You’re only human. He’s furious. How could you possibly be the soulmate of the Great and Terrible Papyrus. In the end he’s not that great at hiding his displeasure, and you storm out after telling him off. Some soulmate, this asshole Pygmalion Project douchebag is supposed to be someone you can resonate with??? Damn, the universe must hate you. For his part he claims its far more convenient that you go, but he can’t help but feel a pang of regret as he watches your retreating form.

You see each other around a bit. You refuse to change stores just because you might see him, but try to avoid him whenever you encounter him. He doesn’t approach you for weeks, but there’s something stirring within him. For the first time he’s feeling…..guilty? N-Nonsense! He never regrets his actions. Only rethinks his strategy!

And currently that strategic rethinking involves paying for your groceries by slipping the cashier some cash when he’s ahead of you in line. Leaving anonymous flowers outside your doorstep. Telling off someone who was getting a little too close for comfort and disappearing before you could…..thank him? Confront him? You aren’t sure.

Finally you steal your nerve and go to talk to him. You do have the address at least. You end up having a lengthy, extremely awkward conversation, in which he comes (and you’re not sure of this) extremely close to an apology. Red is still picking his jaw up off the floor.

Edge gave up on the idea of a romantic relationship after that first night. But maybe….maybe you could be friends. It’s not easy. Nothing with Boss ever is. But that soulmate quality exists for a reason. You find you empathize with his need for control, with his drive and his emphasis on holding himself together. You understand him in a way you haven’t understood many people. He finds you balance him out, and challenge him in a way he isn’t used to being challenged. He can’t get away with his usual bullshit with you. When he crosses the line you stand toe to toe with him and let him know. And while it’s infuriating…..it’s strangely intriguing. You get away with shit Red wouldn’t in a million years. Seriously, how the hell are you doing that?

Whether or not it progresses into a romantic relationship is kind of up to you, but at some point Edge will want to. Maybe his soulmate wasn’t how he pictured, how he wanted. But…..he can’t imagine it being any other way.

US!Sans: Just another night at the club. The only thing (at first) separating that night from any other was that your dance partner was a skeleton. Not your usual fare, but he had a sweet face and had asked you so excitedly that you couldn’t turn him down. He was a good dancer, very energetic, almost running you into the ground with his quick pace. Every touch is gentle, non-intrusive, yet sparks with…something, magic maybe? Either way, it feels good, making the color in your cheeks rise.

As the song comes to an end he straight up dips you down, panting a bit with the energy expended, and as his eyelights meet yours….Both of you feel a buzzing sensation that surprises him so much he drops you.

Sans apologizes profusely and helps you to your feet, then asks you if you want to come home with him. You hesitate, you’re normally not the type to go home with strange guys, but something in the look on his face and the powder blue flush on his cheeks (though stars know how a skeleton does that)……you feel like you can trust him. You agree and take an awkwardly silent walk home with him. He seems more excited than before, and keeps looking at you like he wants to say something but holds it back.

His home is a small but clean one story a few blocks away. On the couch is another skeleton in an orange hoodie, smoking a cigarette that is hastily put out and stowed when you come in. He raises a brow at your presence but doesn’t question it, trading some banalities with Sans. Seems their brothers. He clears out pretty quickly and Sans guides you to the couch.

He explains the buzzing. You’re soulmates. On some fundamental level, compatible. Made for each other, in a way. His eyelights are shining brighter and you swear you can see the outline of tiny stars in the center as he tells you he’s been looking for his for a very long time, and he can’t believe it was someone as pretty as you!

His enthusiasm is catching, and in the end you’re swept up in it. He takes you home and chastely pecks your cheek before running off into the night, practically beaming. You start dating regularly. Sans is almost….overwhelming in his perfection. He’s enthusiastic, kind, sweet, affectionate, solid, honest, and completely infatuated with you.

And that, in a way, is the problem. Sans is already in love with you, but doesn’t know every side of you. While he never brings up anything that disappoints him, you can’t help but feel he fell in love with the idea of you before bothering to get to know you as a person. Not to mention things are moving way too fast. Sure, maybe you’re soulmates, but everything in you is screaming that you can’t be fixing yourself this firmly to a guy that, from a time perspective, you barely know.

Finally you have to end it. It breaks his heart, but you convince him to settle for being friends, for now at least. Someday maybe you’ll be ready for the type of closeness, but for now, you want to spend some time getting to know each other. And though you’re cautious, you find you’re not disappointed in what you find.

US!Papyrus: Stretch sighed and resisted the urge to reach for the cigarettes in his pocket. They didn’t allow smoking in this place. One of the only downsides about living on the Surface, everything was catered to delicate human lungs. They didn’t allow outside food either so he didn’t have a lollipop to fall back on. He was this close to giving in and chewing on one of the toothpicks just to get something in his mouth but he hated when wood slivers fell in his mouth.

Only about an hour left in this thing, and he was seriously looking forward to it being over. Speed dating hadn’t sounded awful honestly. Blue and Tale (he never did feel comfortable calling him Papyrus in his head) had been coming to this place almost every time the restaurant held an event. They seemed to take it as a speed round on making friends. Most of the time they didn’t even end up with an actual romantic date out of it, just another dinner guest for Spaghetti Taco night. They’d been trying to get him and Classic to go for weeks. Classic had made his excuses but Stretch had been….kind of curious. He liked flirting, he liked food being paid for by people not him (Blue and Tale had footed the bill), and with the seven minute thing at least the creepier ones couldn’t stick around too long.

Still, he was reaching his limit. Kind of hard to get past the “Hi, my name is” stage in seven minutes into anything actually fun. Not to mention he was tired. Still, Blue and Tale showed no signs of flagging and he was their ride, so he had a feeling he was in this till the end.

New partner. You sat down across from him. You looked a bit shy, which he guessed was fairly endearing. Cute enough.

“Hey P-” you started a bit. “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were….” your eyes skirted to Tale.

“ ‘saright.” he says. Not the first time that had happened tonight. “People say we could be twins. Name’s Stretch, ‘m Blue’s brother.”

“I’m really sorry, that kind of came off…..racist, I guess? Speciesist? Whatever it is when you imply all skeletons look alike.”

He snickered. “Hey, what’s that saying you humans got? No matter what we’re all flesh and bone underneath. We just skipped the first part.”

You chuckle. “Something like that, I guess.” You told him your name.

“Regular, I’m guessing? You seem to know Paps.”

“Sort of. I’ve been a couple of times when my apartment feels too empty for the eighth night in a row.” You pause. “Sorry, wow that sounds depressing.”

“Nah.Sounds about like my weekends when Blue’s out somewhere.” He leaned back in his chair.

“Anxiety, depression, or just a shut-in?”

“Hmm, mostly the first but hey, the second pulls its weight.”

“I’m the first with the third thrown in for shits and giggles.”

“Well, we’re well-rounded at least.” He pulled a hoodie string in his mouth and started chewing.

“At least.” You chuckle.

“….so not to be rude but that’s kind of upfront for a seven minute encounter.”

You passed a hand over your forehead. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry, I’ve been trying to sell myself all night and I think I’m….I don’t know.”

“Reachin your burn out point.” He leaned forward, propping his elbows on the table. “Don’t worry about it, me too. I don’t mind talking, but if you want we can just sit back, check our phones, get some silence if you want. Sound okay?”

The waiter brought in fresh drinks and you smiled. “Well, I’ll toast to that.”

He chuckled. As you both reached for your drinks your fingertips briefly brushed his hand….and suddenly it was like static electricity, straight to the chest. You were startled a bit but Stretch nearly fell out of his chair.

You….you were…..

Looks like not talking wasn’t gonna be an option.

He runs you down on what’s happening, both of you stubbornly refusing to move from your seats during changeover. When finally the staff tells you you have to he grabs your hand and takes you out back, running you through what just happened. And for once the skeleton with the most chill is looking unbelievably stressed, lighting up a cig as soon as you’re outside the no smoking area.

Soulmates? The very idea is terrifying to him. Talk about fuckin pressure…..he can’t handle this, not after a long night. You exchange numbers and agree to meet up later.

The next few weeks are a roller coaster of Stretch’s wavering commitment levels. Sometimes he’ll ghost on you with no explanation, only to show up on your doorstep with an awkward apology. He takes you for a date but looks like he wants to die through most of it, but then you come over to his place for dinner and he loops an arm around your shoulder. You can never tell which version of him is coming over, and to be honest he feels guilty as hell about it. You’re a good person, hell, he could actually picture himself being friends, even dating you even without the soulmate thing, but that weird spiritual significance the bond adds to the whole thing just takes him places mentally he doesn’t want to be. He has a lot of internalized expectations for how soulmates are supposed to act and doesn’t really feel up to any of them.

Assuming you don’t ditch him during those mercurial few months things do settle down. He starts approaching it like any other relationship, with the same casual savoir-faire. He decides to take the soul bond as more of an added bonus than a bar-setter, and it helps his approach. He’s a good partner, casual and funny, but dedicated.

SF!Sans: You were storming down the stairs of your apartment building as the deafening alarm bells rang, absolutely pissed. You had three projects to finish by the end of the week and the last thing you needed was YET ANOTHER fire alarm. Especially when nothing appeared to be in flames.

You joined the small cluster of your fellow building mates, hugging your sweatshirt against the chill evening air. You walked among them, trying to piece together from various conversation who the hell deprived you of precious.minutes of work.

“Did you see anything?”

“Kitchen fire-”

“Maybe, but who-”

“Fucking asshole-”

“Look, Chief, all I’m sayin is if smoke’s pouring out of the oven, turn it off.” You pause. Bingo.

“I WILL DO NO SUCH THING! THE SMOKE IS WHAT GIVES MY BURRITOS THEIR DISTINCTIVE FLAVOR!” Its the two skeleton monsters you’d seen around a few times. The shorter one was the one yelling, while the taller one looked exhausted and mildly annoyed.

“Look, all ‘m sayin is the firefighters are getting pretty pissed off about having to come back so often. Not to mention stoves are expensive.”

“THOSE FIREFIGHTERS SHOULD LEARN SOME RESPECT FOR THE CULINARY ARTS.”

You’d heard enough. Stomping slightly and eyes blazing, you walked up to them and tapped the shorter one on the shoulder. He whirled on you. “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?”

“Hi, excuse me, don’t mean to intrude, but what the FUCK is your damage.”

He looks stunned, for a moment too much so to speak, and his brother is shooting daggers at you but frankly you’re too pissed to care.

“Can you fucking control your damn stove so that I don’t have to tromp my ass out here GODS KNOW how many fucking times this week?! Some of us have work to do that isn’t setting food on fire and you’re getting. In. the fucking. Way.”

He found his tongue. “HOW DARE YOU-”

“I’m just saying, dude, after the fifth time maybe you’d get a clue!”

“Hey, back off.” The taller one said, looking at you with a dangerous eye.

You pointed an accusing finger at the other’s chest. “So get. Your shit. Toge-” Your finger had jabbed his chest at that point and suddenly a buzz erupted in your chest. You reacted instinctively and backed off, yelping a bit. The other felt something too and collapsed to a knee.

“Chief?!” The taller one knelt down beside him. “Sans, you okay?”

He was breathing hard for a minute and he looked up at you with a bizarrely intense face. “…..I’M FINE.”

“Sans-”

“I’M FINE!” He jerked his shoulders out of his brother’s grip and got to his feet. “COME ON, THEY’VE TURNED OFF THE ALARMS.” He walked away. The taller one shot you a dirty look before following.

……What the hell?

Somehow you managed to get the work done. There are no other fire alarm issues. You’re celebrating with a tired glass of wine a few days later when there’s a knock at the door. When you open it, there’s nothing but a plate of burritos there. What the- You flash back to the conversation. Is this….his way of apologizing? Maybe. You’re never one to turn down food and with the high from getting your work done you’re less inclined to be pissed with him, so you take it in and sample it.

Oh gods. If this is how his cooking usually is you can understand why smoke might help. At least it might mask some of the other flavors.

He keeps leaving burritos outside your room and you don’t have the heart to turn them down, but you can’t stand dumping food this much, so finally you show up outside his door and offer to show him a new method. His brother is shooting you dirty looks and he’s very resistant to most changes you suggest, but in the end you manage to churn up something, if not exactly tasty, at least approaching edible. Despite being stubborn and bossy, you kind of find yourself enjoying it. He’s got a sort of charm to him, and definitely has a lot of passion. Somehow he manages to convince you to stop by for dinner sometime.

Blood never tells you you’re soulmates. It sounds….gross and sappy and romantic and NOOOOOO. But he slowly works his way into your favors, toning down his aggressiveness a bit. He surprisingly smoothly transitions you into dating, and before you quite know what’s happening you’re having your first kiss outside your apartment door with the guy who keeps setting off the damn alarm. And somehow….you wouldn’t want it any other way.

(Oh, and Syrup does eventually forgive you).

SF!Papyrus: Last delivery of the night, and you’d finally be off. Least it was this place. You’d delivered enough late night takeout to know the guy tipped well. You knocked.

The door opened, revealing Syrup’s lanky form. “Hey kid.”

“Hey, dude.” You forked over the takeout. “Usual. Your bro not cooking tonight?”

“Staying the night with a friend. On my own for tonight.”

“Ah, explains the smell.” You say, indicating the faint fumes of weed wafting from the living room.

“Our little secret, sweetheart.” He winked.

You grinned faintly. Syrup was just enough of a casual flirt that you always kind of looked forward to him popping up on your route.

“How much do I owe ya.”

“$12.17.” You say, pulling the fanny pack with your change in it to your front. “Though I swear we should put this one on the house, you’re practically keeping us in business.”

“Not sure if that’s a reflection on me or the restaurant.” He handed you a twenty. You started counting out the change but he shook his head. “Keep it.”

“Dude, no, 7 bucks is way too much.”

“Hey, don’t argue, I’m a customer and the customer’s always right, right?”

“Come on, man, at least take some of it back, I feel guilty.” You press into his hand before he can protest again. The bones feel odd against your skin. Coming down to it, this may have been the first time you’d touched him instead of just handing items across…..You only have a second to contemplate this before there’s a thrill in your chest like an electric shock. Seems he felt it too: he yelped, jerking his hand back as the change fell to the floor, scattering coins.

Both of you pant a bit, cradling your hands. The buzzing stays, but is less intense. More like a faint vibration.

“What….what the hell….?” you say, finally looking from your hand to Syrup, only to find him staring at you with a dumbfounded expression. “….Syrup.”

“Uh….yeah.” He knelt to the ground, ducking his face a bit as he collects the dropped cash. “Just….just a stray magic burst. Sorry, happens sometimes.” He stands up and puts the change back to you, still avoiding your eyes. “Shouldn’t be any long term effects.”

“Um….are you okay?”

“What?” His eyelights finally dart up to hold yours, only to look away as he places a hand on the door. “Yeah, fine. Just baked. I’ll see ya later, maybe.” He closed the door before you could say another word.

Behind the door he has a minor crisis. Fuck. He’d gone this long without a soulmate, he’d just kind of assumed he didn’t have one. Now he has one, and its you, the human he’d been casually moving in on for a while now…..fuck, he’s not nearly baked enough for this shit.

Syrup’s not half bad at getting laid but a committed relationship? His confidence goes out the fucking window. Not to mention thanks to dedicating himself to looking after Sans he barely has the time (never mind that since he’s hit the surface Sans needs less looking after than he used to). What….what the hell is he supposed to do?

In the end, nothing. The next few times you deliver, he’s not rude exactly, but compared to every other encounter he’s extremely terse and withdrawn. After a while he finds he can’t resist getting back into playful banter, but he’s shyer, less likely to flirt. What the hell’s the point of getting attached. And yeah, he sees the irony.

Blood finds out, of course. Syrup’s never been much good at keeping things from his brother and after watching him mope around for an hour whenever you drop off food he puts the pieces together. He tells him to suck it up and just ask you out and keeps badgering him until Syrup finally lets it go that you’re soulmates. That seems to get him to back off…..until the next time you drop off food and he just lets you walk away.

Just as you’re about to exit the building you hear Sans barking after you. “HUMAN!”

You turn around to see him dragging his brother forward by his shirt collar, forcing the taller to bend down so he could keep up. It was almost funny. There was an orange tint to his skull that keeps getting stronger the closer they get to you and he’s mumbling protests up until Sans throws him in front of you.

“YOU AND MY BROTHER ARE SOULMATES.” Sans says irritatedly, giving you a terse rundown of what he is. “SO CAN YOU JUST TAKE HIM OUT ALREADY SO I CAN STOP DEALING WITH HIS SULKING?” And before either of you can say anything, he’s stormed off back to the apartment.