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casper-spills · 7 months ago

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| Tarot Cards: Places they represent |

✩░▒▓▆▅▃▂▁𝟑𝟎𝟎 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥!▁▂▃▅▆▓▒░✩

Hey guys! Welcome back to another post ♡

We reached 300 followers! And I'm gonna do a special for you guys because I seriously am so grateful for all of your support. My blog has been growing so fast and I literally never expected to be where I am today. Thank you! ♡

This post will be a little different to my usual stuff. I was thinking I might start a series like this where I give some tips on how to read your tarot! I'll also include the sources I use at the end in case you wanted to check those out too.

Anyway, here is a list of places that the cards represent ♡

Sincerely,

Cassy the friendly ghost ♡

✦Masterlist ✦Paid Readings ✦Support me through Kofi

𓆩♡𓆪 𝙎𝙐𝙈𝙈𝙀𝙍 𝘿𝙄𝙎𝘾𝙊𝙐𝙉𝙏 50% 𝙊𝙁𝙁 !! 𓆩♡𓆪

Ends on September 22nd

| KO-FI SHOP |

| MAJOR ARCANA |

0. Fool - Mountain, trekking

1. Magician - Kitchen, labatory, shows, music, magic, performances

2. High Priestess - Secret place, secret society, library, somewhere quiet, reading rooms, theatre, halls

3. Empress - Old/stately homes, old school building, old hospital building, boutique, beauty parlor, restaurants

4. Emperor - Royal palace, business establishments, schools, univerisity

5. Heirophant - Church, univeristy, temple, place of worship, corporate building

6. Lovers - Sweet shop, date locations, love hotel, honeymoon places

7. Chariot - Car ralley, racing fixtures, garages, horse racing, highway

8. Strength - Zoo, petting zoos, gym, fitness studios

9. Hermit - Cave, retreat centres, hill walking

10. Wheel - Ferris wheels, london eye, casino, lottery tickets, shops selling wheels

11. Justice - Court, arbitration offices, counselling institution, police department

12. Hanged Man - Bungee jumping, sky diving, thrilling activities

13. Death - Church yard, funeral parlor, butcher, cemetary

14. Temperance - Cocktail bar, queues, waiting rooms, chemist dispensary

15. Devil - Adult shops, clubs, casinos, brothel, strip clubs

16. Tower - Chop shops, tall buildings, skyscrapers, stormy areas, fire

17. Star - Water, ocean, river, stargazing

18. Moon - Nighttime, stargazing, movie, stage, theatre

19. Sun - Birth centre, midwifery unti, hospital, holidays, tanning booths, abroad

20. Judgement - Rehabilitation centres, church, treament centres, spa

21. World - Airport, flying, dance studios

| MINOR ARCANA |

☁︎ 𝒔𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔 ☁︎

Ace - Editor's room, skyscrapers, office, library, radio tower

Two - Statue of liberty, new york, seashore

Three - Hospital, rainy place, cloudy areas

Four - Bedroom, quiet places, funeral parlor

Five - Debate club, near water, themepark, competitive environments

Six - Boats, river, cruisers

Seven - Archery, secret location, casino, bomb shelter

Eight - Prison, therapy

Nine - Psychiatric hospital, confessional

Ten - Surgery room, accupuncture clinic, dentists

Page - Fraternity, rowdy places, sports arena

Knight - Windy places, windmills

Queen - Fenced off places, great walls, boundaries, spikes fences

King - Lawyers office

🕯 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒔 🕯

Ace - Workshop, construction site

Two - Balcony, overseas, historical travel, boat

Three - Seaside, boat travel

Four - Fastfood, cafe, outdoors, wedding, celebration

Five - Sport centre, pool game

Six - Market, downtown, show, event, someone/something noticable

Seven - Competitive/violent environment

Eight - Road trip, highway

Nine - Competitive environment, barrier, wall, bouncer, high security

Ten - Workplace, labour, sweatshop

Page - Disco, dance, party

Knight - Hot and dry place, bonfire, abroad, holiday

Queen - Social events

King - Active place, fast moving environments

꒦꒷ 𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒔 ꒷꒦

Ace - Lake, pond, birdbath, birds

Two - Luxury, home, common dating places

Three - Bar, pub, party

Four - Under a tree, graveyard

Five - A place of regret, place of bad memories, hospital, flooded areas, bridge, after party cleanup, alone in a bar

Six - Flourists, schoolyard, playground, nostalgic places

Seven - Highup places, views, drug suppliers, spots where people do drugs, drug shops

Eight - Bookstore, library, cave, quiet

Nine - Bar, party, pub, dinner, home

Ten - Family gatherings, park, outdoor, bbq party

Page - Aquariums, fish tanks, sea parks

Knight - Picnics, peaceful/romantic areas

Queen - Bathtub with cancles, home, skinny dipping, swimming

King - Beach, lake

˗ˏˋ 𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒔 ˎˊ˗

Ace - Dispensary, bank, currency exchange centre

Two - Circus, arcade, carnival

Three - Fashion show runway, art gallery, boutique, museum

Four - Uncle scrooge's home, gold reserves, saferoom, secret hideout, vault

Five - The streets, people living in powerty, homeless spots,

Six - Pawn shops, currency exchange shops, trade stores

Seven - Nursery, orchard

Eight - workshop, construction site

Nine - Gardens, green parks

Ten - Market

Page - Field, farm, family business

Knight - Workplace, chores, school

Queen - Home, nursery room

King - Bank manager's office

♥Thank you for your support!♥

Dividers by @cafekitsune, @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

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musicismymoirail · 3 years ago

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My mood’s been pretty low lately so I’ve been doing what I normally do when this happens: read some stories or ifs and distract myself with making some new lowkey characters. This week was Crème de la Crème, and these are my surprising favorite playthroughs.

Vesper Erlkönig | nb, aropan | POISE · FLAIR · INTRIGUE

Vesper is the epitome of 'beautiful, dirty, rich', lol. They attended Rochat's, and have always loved the atmosphere of the arts. Their parents did too, or did until they gambled away almost all of their family fortune and sent Vesper to Gallatin to hopefully 'do the family proud'.

Riiiiiight.

Vesper was definitely annoyed at their parents, but ultimately didn’t care that much. They'd win back their fortune one way or another somehow. At school, they were very flirty but was pretty upfront with their ‘no romance’ stance.

That being said though, they got attached to Honorable Florin quite quickly. It’s a match made in heaven, except they’re doing nothing heavenly together and have no interest in anything proper. And it was so much more fun than I thought it would be. xD I imagine post-school, they do remain friends (with benefits) and lots of people are like ‘????’ about their actual relationships but neither care to define it. They’re friends. They fuck. They care about each other. They don’t want to get married, fuck off. Leave the aros alone, thanks.

Vesper ended up getting accepted into Jerome Clay internship which... excited them more than they care to admit. They missed being surrounded by the arts and can't wait to rejoin the community again. Also, somehow despite getting caught by a teacher when they snuck out with Max and being the only playthrough where someone got caught for the pep ralley fire, Vesper ended with getting the model student achievement. SOMEHOW. :’)

Esméry ��Esmé” St. Lillevere | nb, bisexual | WIT · FLAIR · SPIRIT

Esméry was going to be my spitfire ‘fuck the system’ playthrough and he ended up as the biggest cinnamon roll because ain’t that how it goes. But he’s also probably my favorite playthrough anyways so it’s all good.

Before his family’s scandal, Esméry attended Holtsfield's, a religious day school and I imagine he was like a more lowkey Max or Florin. Very lackadaisical and always winning to skirt the rules, Esmé loved to buck traditions when he could whether it reading all the banned materials and books he could get his hands on to hanging out the misfits and more progressive students. They’d plan schemes and talk about all the fun devious things that they could get up to after school when they're be truly free to have fun!

And then, the scandal involving Lord Krause came out and the whole St. Lillevere family into social pariahs. And it hurt, it hurt so so much. Esmé didn't hang out with uppity types, but surely, everyone seemed to abandon him as soon as the news hit. While he'd be hard-pressed to admit it, it truly broke him and pushed him into an absolute despair.

But a spark burned in the ashes, fueled by the more radicals ideals Esmé always tossed about carelessly and he vowed to claw his family's name back from the depths of ruins with bloody fingers, and he'd call for reform and revolution in all his actions.

He’s also just dumbfuck compassionate sooooo. If someone is upset, he’s offering a hug. All the Gallatin kiddos got hugs when him, lol! I think his playthrough was the one where I ended up just trying to befriend everyone and was actually successful. He also had the best grades and got into the best University and was like ‘haha, successful year wouldn’t you say~’.

And then, he found out about Lady Renaldt’s whole scheme and got tossed into the mines. My only character to point-blank refused to cooperative with her. He was like spite and outrage, and even got her feel a liiiiiiittle guilty.

Still got tossed into the mines and got reunited with Blaise. <3 He definitely developed a little crush while trying to figure out wtf happened with him. Forever a romance about the what-ifs in life~ Thankfully, they both escaped and were able to take down Lady Renaldt completely.

I imagine his and Blaise’s romance would be ...interesting, post-school. Definitely not easy by any measure. There’s a lot of trauma to work through and Blaise’s whole deal anyways, but there’s a deep connection between them and Esmé is patient and kind (and very intolerant of abuses of power) so I think it’ll work out in the end. Either way, they’re friends for life. Renaldt better not come back if she knows what is good for her.

Iliade Olavarrieta | cisgal, gay | WIT · POISE · SPIRIT

Iliade’s run made me so emotional about Auguste! TToTT!! After Max-Delacriox poly route, hers was definitely my favorite romance. So, thanks Iliade!

Iliade was my highly competitive, academic kiddo who was more proper and by the books than my characters tend to be. Her parents lost their standing in am embezzlement scandal and Iliade was so disgusted and conflicted. She loved her parents but her being the reason for this (’we wanted the best life for you’) made her so sick inside.

Originally, she had eyes for Hartmann. She was well-spoken and hard-working, a perfect marriage candidate and the type of person her parents would've loved. Plus, she was easy on the eyes and Iliade sincerely enjoyed her company. However, she hesitated due to family's scandal and it broke Iliade's heart more than she thought. It was less the rejection though, and more the idea behind it. That she was unworthy due to her parent's mistakes. She knew how it looked, how it was but it was so frustrating to hear it coming from someone she thought she had a sincere connection with.

So, Iliade spitefully decided to ask Auguste Renaldt to dance at the next ball. :’D It was partly due to Hartmann's own interest and partly due to her wanting to prove her own worth. If Auguste danced with her, she was certainly worthy of anyone’s attention and hand. And oh, how Auguste stole her heart that night. She was so much warmer than she had first appeared to be, and Iliade fell so so hard.

Their romance was a cute and polite affair, so simple and warm! I was honestly scared of fucking it up and played it so so safe. But every interaction filled Iliade's heart with delight. Every time she remembered heir playful spy flirting at the tea shop caused her a dive into a fluster of giggles and self-contained little jumps. She was just so so in love.

Even so, when Lady Renadlt tried to force Iliade to help with her scam, Iliade just couldn't. She hesitated and almost went along but it was wrong, worst than her parents and it caused her to be sick to her stomach. She was partly happy to put an end to it but honestly terrified to even measures. She knew (knew, knew, knew) Auguste wasn't apart of such a scheme but just as she still loved her parents despite their crimes, she feared Auguste's love for hers would end their relationship.

But it didn’t (thankfully!!! TToTT <3333). Their initial blowout was expected and delightful, but Auguste asking if Iliade would still marry her was so sad. Iliade was wanted to wrap her up in all the blankets and kiss away all her tears. At least they’re both going to the same University. They’ll have a sweet marriage, I think.

#doodlenonsense #creme de la creme if #definitely would like to do some more little doodles #definitely of esme and iliade #and vesper and florin being scandalous bastards lol #but we'll see how my mood goes

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urijihoons-blog · 4 years ago

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Bokuto: Clarity

/ Kōtarō Bokuto x reader /

genre: angst ish to questionable fluff

wc: 2604

summary: You end up somewhere familiar, but not with someone familiar. One things for sure, the truth will come out soon enough.

warnings: mentions of anxiety

a/n: You guys!!!!!!!! I’m so glad you all love this fic 🥺 your comments and likes and reblogs encourage me so much!! Thank you so much for your love!!!! 💗💗💗

pt3

///

You wake up in a daze. No, you wake up... in a hotel room? The suite looked just like Bokuto’s, is that where you are? You hoped so.

You picked up your head, peered around the room looking for his things to confirm your suspicions, and lifted your upper body to lean on the headboard of the bed. Suddenly, there are footsteps coming from the bathroom area. “Bokuto?” You inquire, anxious to see his face while you could blame it on the alcohol. A laugh comes from the hallway, and it isn’t his. Oh, oh no.

Atsumu comes around the corner, shirtless and basketball shorts, with a cup of water. He laughs when he sees the horror on your face, thinking it’s a joke. You check your clothing frantically, everything is still buttoned, zipped, and tied. You look up at him, still terrified of the blank space of time from the bar until now, “We didn’t... did we?” Atsumu laughs even harder but then notices the look of panic in your eyes. He straightens up, coughing while handing you Tylenol and the cup of water. “No, of course not. You’re Bo’s girl.”

Those words stung. “Not anymore.” Those words, they really stung. You hadn’t actually had the thought of it being completely over until now. It’s hitting you, wave after wave. Everything went wrong, and now you, you’re suffocating-

“Y/N,” Atsumu’s at the edge of the bed, looking you in the eyes with fear, “please breathe. Take a second and breathe.” You try to hold it in, and take deeper breaths but your heart is pounding so hard in your chest, it feels as though it’s going to burst. The next thing you know, you’re on the ground hugging your knees into your chest as tightly as you can. Your eardrums cut out all other sounds, they were just echoing your heartbeat. With your face turned into the carpet, you’re sobbing breathlessly. Atsumu jumps up and grabs his phone, eyes scared to no end. “I’m calling Kuto, now.”

“N-no, please d-don’t.” You say as strongly as you can. You lift your head and force your breaths to become decently even. “Please give me more time.”

“You know,” he looked down at you with a concerned look, “you need to talk to him soon.”

Your eyes furrowed in distress before saying, “Why should I? It’s quite obvious what went on between them, why should I do anything for him?” You wiped some spare tears still leaving your eyes from your panic attack. “I don’t want to see him-“

“Your first thought when you woke up here,” he motioned around the room, “was that you were with him.” Atsumu stated bluntly, he lifted an eyebrow, “You think I didn’t hear the hope in your voice when you called for him?” You blinked, completely stunned at how he read you so easily. “Also, from what I’ve gathered these past couple of weeks, Tamra isn’t very trustworthy when it comes to telling the truth.”

“She didn’t have to tell me anything,” you sighed heavily, hugging your knees again. “I saw it, ‘Tsumu.” You tried to blink away the tears yet again. “And it wasn’t just a ‘She was close to him and he was close to her’ type deal. It was a ‘She was only wearing a towel and he was shirtless in the hotel suite by themselves, ready to get their room service’ type deal.”

Atsumu looked honestly shocked. He started talking with his hands, “Well, that doesn’t make much sense.” He slightly raised his voice, and you realized he was talking more to himself than to you.

“What do you mean?”

“Kuto, is a simple, oblivious man. When Tamra started talking to him after some of our practice games, they only talked volleyball. I honestly just thought they became friends.” Atsumu pulled his hand to his chin in thought. “They never hung out outside of the courts, unless we all went out to the bar down the street, but even then it was always in a big group.”

“So what are you trying to say to me?”

“What I’m trying to say is that Kuto has texted in our team groupchat about looking for you in the city. He’s given us your complete physical description and told us to call him if any of us see you. We’re told to take you to him as soon as possible.” Atsumu tries to hold in a giggle at the whole situation. “He seems like he’s going out of his mind right now.”

Your face froze. “So, why haven’t you taken me to him? Or even told him that I’m here?”

His smile diminished slightly, “Because of how you were talking about him at the bar.” His face became serious. “You were,” he paused, taking a deep breathe, “ are, so hurt, Y/N. And as much as I don’t truly think he did this to you, there is the smallest of possibilities. And if he did, which God forbid if he did, I don’t think he should have the satisfaction of being able to see you at your lowest. I wanted to sober you up, talk to you first, and then figure it out from there.” Atsumu talked with such kindness, your respect for him instantly grew. “So, what do you think you want to do?”

You sat there for a couple of minutes in silence, ‘Tsumu waiting for your response. You finally looked up, certain, “Call him, and tell him to come here.”

“She hasn’t come back to the bar.”

“She hasn’t come by the airport.”

“Her suitcase was left in the hotel, so maybe she’ll come back here?”

No one knew where you were, which Bokuto didn’t expect them to. He just wished for a different way. Wished that he could’ve explained it when he had the chance, wished he wasn’t in such a damning situation in the first place. Bokuto should’ve never trusted Tamra, he should’ve listened to his friends, and now he pays for it.

It was the third day of training camp, and Bokuto was completely focused. His practice matches were getting tougher, ralleys taking longer. After a while, he was becoming tired.

“Hey, Bokuto right?” A small voice perked up.

Bokuto turned to face a short, young woman, petite, with a kind smile. She wore a track suit, but not for his team, must’ve been another team’s manager. “Yes?”

“You’re doing great out there! I’ve heard of you before but I didn’t expect this.” She laughed, clutching her clipboard.

Bokuto laughed, scratching the back of his neck. “Thanks!”

He walked back towards his teammates, who were taking a water break, when he heard one of the guys say, “Kuto, I wouldn’t get too close to her, she’s bad news.” Bokuto furrowed his brow in confusion, waiting for the rest of the reason.

“Yeah,” another piped up, “I heard she tried to break up Ushijima and his wife, uh, Kate.”

“Guys, she probably just doesn’t have any friends! She seems nice enough, and you know I would never do anything to hurt, Y/N.” Bokuto’s expression was playful, but his words were dead serious. He truly believed what he said. “Plus, Toshi gets a big head sometimes, I bet that girl said two words to him and he got flustered.” Bokuto laughed, his team looked around for a second and they laughed too, trusting him.

So for the next week and a half, Tamra would speak to Bokuto every once in a while. Always something nice, always something about volleyball. Sometimes about his own experience, other times about how he helps lead the team. Never once did he actually think there was anything going on, because he trusted himself to recognize the signs. He didn’t want anyone other than you, so he didn’t worry about anyone other than you. A couple days later and Tamra has started going to the bar with the whole team. Everyone cutting up, acting like old friends. Everything seemed fine, but then it all went to hell.

Tamra:

‘Kuto, can I come use your shower? The hotel staff says that mine won’t be fixed for a couple of hours and I feel gross.’

Bokuto:

‘Yeah, that’s fine. I’m in room 428.’

Tamra showed up shortly after, and he had just gotten out of the shower. She knocked, and he answered, allowing her to step in. “Thank you so much, I just feel gross.”

“No problem, I understand the feeling.” Bo laughed sheepishly, looking through his drawers for a shirt. He heard her stomach growl, and laughed a booming laugh. “Someone’s hungry?” He looked over at her, and she nodded, giggling. “I haven’t eaten dinner either, I’ll order room service.” She bowed her head slightly in thanks. “What do you want?” He asked, standing to grab the menu from beside the dresser.

“I want.. a burger, and fries, and..” she paused, staring at him trivially. She took a couple of steps forward. She was a breath away from him. “You.” Faster than he could stop her, Tamra kissed Bokuto, hard. Her hands grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him into her unwillingly.

He grabbed her arms and wrenched them off of him. “No.” He breathed hard, using the back of his wrist to wipe his mouth. His eyes darkened slightly with anger. “No, do not do that again.”

“But, I thought-“

“No, you thought wrong. I have a fiancé, remember?” He looked at her confused, as if she hadn’t heard him talk about you for the last 2 weeks at all. Her eyes looked desperate. “How-“

“I’m so sorry!” Tamra blurted, holding a hand to her chest. She looked as if she had been wounded as she turned her face away. “I am so so sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I guess, I just wasnt thinking. Please forgive me, I don’t want this to be held against me.” As fast as the anger came, it also left. Bokuto felt bad for her, and she looked ashamed of herself enough.

“Okay. Just do not do it again. I am only a friend.” He said, and walked towards the hotel phone. “Once you’re out of the shower, the food will be here, but I would rather you go to your own room to eat.”

“Okay, I can do that.” She said in a small voice.

Bokuto watched her stalk towards the bathroom, and went about ordering room service. What he didn’t see was the sly smile on Tamra’s face, or her calculating moves up until this point. She had made herself look innocent, but in reality, she had a plan. She wanted the scandal, and the chaos that came with it.

‘And she got it.’ Bokuto thought to himself. ‘She definitely got it.’ A sudden buzz took him out of his head, saved him from his thoughts. He lifted the phone to his ear, not even bothering to look at the caller. “Y/N?”

“No, but I do need to talk to you about her. Come to my room, ASAP.” Atsumu said calmly.

Bokuto looked at his phone, not believing that Atsumu really wanted to help. “I’m confused, you weren’t at the bar tonight, what do you know exactly?”

“Come to room 317, this is important.” Atsumu seemed very serious about this.

“I’m on my way.”

///

The hotel room was cold, so you had to cover yourself in the bed’s blankets to keep from shivering. Everything felt too foggy. You were sobering up quick, the thought of having to look him in the face making you shiver on its own. A knock came from the door and you glanced over at Atsumu, the mix of emotions becoming too much. He was already looking at you, waiting for the okay. You steadied yourself, giving him a nod. He moved swiftly to the entryway of the suite, and opened the door. You couldn’t see him, but you could hear his voice. “What do you know?” Bokuto rasped, walking in. He followed Atsumu’s gaze and finally found you, his golden eyes softening.

You froze under his intense stare. His eyes taking the sight of you in. You hadn’t even thought to have taken a look at yourself, you probably looked how you felt, like a train wreck. He took a step toward you, and you made sure to stay still, knowing, with the look on his face, he was hurting too.

“Y/N?” He took another step forward, lifting his hand as if he was holding it out for you.

Atsumu, grabbing his car keys, sighed. “Well, I’ll let you two talk this out.”

Bokuto turned toward him, his face flashing with anger, making him stop in his tracks, “We will have our own talk later.” Atsumu opened the door quickly, leaving in a flash.

“Don’t be too upset at him.” You whispered softly. Bokuto turned his complete attention to you, sitting on his knees by your bedside. “He only did what he did to help me, and you.”

A silence fell between you two as you stared at each other. Bokuto looked disheveled, his hair down, his clothes were wrinkled, and his face. Oh, his face, so sad. And his eyes were not as bright. He looked tired. “Y/N,” he muttered softly, “please let me explain.”

He waited for your permission, but you sat there silently. “Will it make everything better, or worse?” He looked down, his mind, no doubt, moving hundreds of miles a second. You spoke up, and he looked back up at you. “Because tonight, I was broken. I felt as though I was forgotten, that I wasn’t needed in the same way that I need you. I felt as though I had been replaced.” You breathed shakily, tears already forming in your eyes. His expression dropped immediately, tears streaking down his face. “Will what you say make me forget these things? Will what you say to me make me see you clearly?” You looked down at your hands, holding them together, as if they were holding you together. The flesh around your ring turned white, along with your knuckles, because of how tightly you pressed them.

Bokuto’s left hand covered your own, and you noticed a small glint of something shiny. There, on his ring finger, was his wedding ring you had chosen. Your breath hitched as you stared at his hand, at his finger, at the ring. “Y/N,” he started, but you already unclasped your hands and was holding his.

“You,” looking him in the eye, “you put it on.”

“Of course I did.” He smiled sadly, wiping a tear from his cheek. His eyes suddenly shot up and looked at his hand frantically, bringing his hand back. His fingers grazed his ring, “If you don’t want me to wear it anymore I can take it off, I would understand-“

“No!” You said hastily, his eyes getting wide. “No, it’s okay.” Your eyes softened, and you gently grabbed his hand and brought it back down to your lap. “Do you like it?”

He chuckled slightly, putting his other hand on yours. “I absolutely love it.” You smiled at him and he smiled back, but then his eyes glazed over. His face fell, and you knew what was going to happen next. “As much as I don’t want to, we have to talk about this, so we can move on.” He spoke timidly. “So we can be happy again.” You sat there, unmoving. He waited for your permission to continue. You nodded firmly.

Will you have the clarity you want- you need? You hope so.

///

Part 4 will be the last chapter and should be up in a couple of days :))

Update: heres part 4 :)

#bokuto angst #bokuto x fem!reader #bokuto koutarou x reader #bokuto x y/n #bokuto koutarou #bokuto x reader #bokuto #haikyuu angst #haikyuu hcs #haikyū!!#haikyu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #little owl boy #fukurodani

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i-simp-for-gintoki · 4 years ago

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Bokuto and Kuroo reacting to their s/o collapsing

“bokuto and kuroo with an s/o who passed out mid volleyball matxh? like shes playing a game and over worked herself and just kinda passes out?” -anon

Wow i should also rewatch haikyuu to get their personalities better shouldnt I? Definetly made bokuto more dramatic than he is(or did i? idk anymore)

Kuroo:

Kuroo watches your games as much as possible and you do the same

If he’s not busy with practice or his own games he’ll stop by to watch

Currently he was standing by the gym doors watching your team play

And you were winning too!

Though Kuroo noticed somethin was up

Yes playing sports was tiring but you seemed a bit too tired for his liking

Seeing you breathing super hard and slow movements inside his head he was growing more and more concerned

‘Why isn’t the coach taking her out? She’s clearly beyond exhausted!’

“One touch!” your teammates yelled

Kuroo watched as you looked up at the ball, managed to take two steps before completely falling limp

Immediately the whistle is called

Kuroo does not care anymore and jumps over the small borders and runs to your side

If you had collided with someone he’d wait till your out of the court but how could he just ignore you when you full on collapsed??

He doesn’t necessarily push anyone out of the way, but he does make sure hes immediately next to you

“Y/n! Hey!” He yells holding your hand

Hes too scared to actually move you around

His thoughts are a complete mess

Kuroo may look simply wide eyed outside but he was screaming and freaking out inside

How could you just collapse like that? Are you okay? Is this normal?? You ARE still breathing right?!

The coach tells him to give you room to breath along with the other students and so they listen

He may have snapped a bit at the coach for not taking you out when you clearly were exhausted

By the time the doctors are running in you wake up and look around confused but still exhausted

“Huh? What happened??”

In a flash your pulled into a hug by Kuroo

“Tetsu? Why are you in the court?”

The medics take you away from the court and kuroo follows and explains everything that happened

Your not allowed to play for the rest of the game which makes you upset but you understand

You realize kuroo has been oddly silent

“Tetsu?”

“Do you realize how scary it was? To see someone you love randomly collapse in front of you? And having no clue what to do??” he says hugging you once again

You reassure him that your okay and give him plenty of kisses

After that he gives a very very long lecture on how you shouldn't over exert yourself like that again and why its so dangerous for you

He’ll eventually make light hearted jokes about it before games

“Try not to pass out again” “tetsu that was one time!”

Bokuto(featuring Akaashi):

Similar to Kuroo, he’d do his best to watch every game

And boy is he a huge fan boy

Probably has a headband with your name on it and screams into a plastic cone

“GO GO Y/N!! LETS GOO!”

Over all extremely hyped seeing you guys play

If you guys lose he’ll probably cry too

He had just finished his own game and immediately went to watch yours

He was still covered in sweat and wearing his jersey but that didn’t stop him from very loudly cheering you own

It doesn’t matter what position you play, setter, spiker(he will extremely over the top hyped if your a fellow spiker),blocker or libero he will cheer you on like your in nationals

Akaashi had joined him to watch your games and this is one of those times

You cant date bokuto and not be friends with Akaashi sorry

“Doesn’t l/n-san seem pretty tired?” akaashi commented and bokuto simply smiled

“Well she is doing her best! She’s the number one player after all!” He said in a confident tone before going back to cheering you

Though bokuto did notice you were starting to look tired, he simply thought it was because you have yet to be swapped out with someone

Currently, you and the other team was going through a very very long ralley and every time the ball was hit Bokuto shook Akaashi around, eager to see the outcome of this rally

You guys managed to spike it down on their side and he let out a very loud cheer

But a sudden thunk made the court go silence

Watching you fall over bokuto swore his world literally shattered

The color from everything vanished and was replaced with a gray hue

Akaashi didn’t even have time to react to bokuto’s yell of your name

Bokuto took a fast bolt to your side and was literally sobbing as he clutched you in his chest

“Bokuto-san! You need to let the officials handle th--” “Y/N!!! DONT DIE ON MEE” he screamed shaking you around with tears just flooding out of his eyes

It took a teacher and akaashi to pull him away from you and oh my gosh he was just max depressed

Sitting outside the nurses office, It only took a few minutes for you to wake up and it took all of akaashi’s strength to hold bokuto back from tackling you into the floor

You had just woken up you don’t need to be knocked out again

Once the nurse and doctor clears you up, akaashi released bokuto and he just glomps onto you

Crying and sobbing he brings you into a tight hug as he nuzzles his teary and snotty face into your neck

“I-I thought you had diieed!” He sobbed and you could only quietly sush him and rub his back

“Are you alright l/n-san?” “I think so, the nurse told me im not allowed to play for the rest of todays game or next practice. Just need to rest and drink water and i’ll be okay” “Well thats good”

“Y/n-chaaan please never leave me!!” bokuto cries more

In the end its you consoling and taking care of bokuto instead of the other way around

#kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #bokuto x reader #bokuto kotaro x reader #kuroo tetsuro #bokuto kotaro #haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons #hq x reader

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chaoswillfallrpg · 4 years ago

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APRIL PROMPTS - Equality for all, 1983

Well, you can bump and grind, it is good for your mind. Well, you can twist and shout, let it all hang out, but you won't fool the children of the revolution no, you won't fool the children of the revolution, no no no - Children Of The Revolution, T. Rex - 1972

Freedom, Beauty, Truth and Love! Below you can find a list of our April prompts which center around our event for this month, March for Equality! These will be posted on our discord prompt server where you can react to as many as your heart desires per character. Please do this as soon as possible so that the mod team have time to pair everyone up! We will let you know who will be doing which prompt by 9pm GMT || Friday 9th April.

However please feel free to use the prompts to plot and slide into each others inboxes, these can also be used to get creative wheels turning!

Completing a prompt thread will reward your alliance with a Chaos Point, so please send your completed thread into the mod team and post it on the prompt discord server to earn those points! There will be a month time frame to finish the prompts for your Chaos Point to be rewarded, both to each party involved in the thread. The prompts are completely optional and you do not have to participate if you don’t want to!

Have fun and much love - Mod Team x

Standing in the crowd, MUSE A begins to hear Benji Fenwick give his speech about equality in the wizarding world. Captivated, they turn to MUSE B to discuss how the speech has moved them, beginning a conversation between the pair on legislation in the wizarding world.

MUSE A, MUSE B and MUSE C are known blood supremacists. Sitting in The White Wyvern, they hatch a plan to cause chaos at the march, mixing a batch of paint they will attempt to throw over MUSE D who is scheduled to speak at the rally.

Sitting on the floor of The Fountain of Fair Fortune MUSE A begins to write placards for the upcoming march and accidentally misplaces their marker. After roaming around the pub looking for it, they are finally presented with their marker by MUSE B who takes an interest in what they are doing.

MUSE A is incredibly passionate about the upcoming march and is early outside The Leaky Cauldron where people are due to meet. As people begin to filter into the space, MUSE A sees an opportunity to raise spirits and produces a boom box from their bag, lifting it high in the air and playing a Muggle track. MUSE B quickly notices and begins to join in singing just as MUSE C charges over and begins to shout at them or curiously asks about the song and the box depending on the muse.

Uninterested in the rights of Muggle-Borns and creatures, MUSE A is attempting to meet friends and must pass through the protest in order to reach them. Doing their best not to get caught up in the masses, they fail and smash into MUSE B who begins trying to convince them to join the cause much to their annoyance.

Working the event as security, MUSE A casts an eye over the ralley in Carkitt Market and is pleased there have not been any major incidents. That is until they see MUSE B and MUSE C arguing loudly about creature rights. When wands are quickly drawn, MUSE A swoops in to defuse the situation.

MUSE A is a member of Sorcerer’s for Equality and has dutifully stayed behind at the entrance of Diagon Alley to hand out flyers for the march and ralley. As MUSE B emerges onto the street, MUSE A thrust a flyer into their hand, speaking a negative or an interested response from MUSE B depending on the muse.

Due to their family and friends, MUSE A is not taking part in the march and has instead holed up in a pub or bar in town to wait it out. As they sit alone, MUSE B sits next to them and orders a drink. As the venue is relatively quiet they begin to chat and MUSE A hears the experience of MUSE B who is a creature and/or Muggle-Born depending on the muse.

MUSE A works in one of the pubs in Wizarding London and overhears conversation between MUSE B and MUSE C which doesn’t align with their thinking. Concerned, MUSE A brings them up on it and gives them the chance to change their views before they are promptly thrown out into the street after a heated argument between the three.

MUSE A a blood purist and MUSE B a supporter for equal rights get into a heated debate. Adamant to settle the debate, they move from prying auror eyes and head to Knockturn Alley to settle their quarrels with wands drawn. Though spotting MUSE C lurking in the shadows, who up until this point had been biding their time on who to support, encouraged by the others joins in their chosen side (up to player) to take the other down.

As the cries of the protest grow louder, MUSE A turns around to see the friend that they have arrived with is somewhere within the crowd. Turning to their left they see MUSE B who is also seemingly looking for someone. They both smile awkwardly before MUSE B asks them why they have arrived at the protest today and a conversation between the two ensues.

Seeing that the head of their alliance and/or boss at work depending on the muse, has asked people to be on the look out for anything suspicious at the march, MUSE A takes it upon themselves to canvas the area for something of interest and quickly comes across MUSE B, a creature who they think might be someone worth getting to know and asking a few questions.

#cwfprompts #monthly prompts

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thomlocke73 · 5 years ago

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hey stephen in paris france, many american people, have gone out, and bought guns, as a response, to the world pendemic, virus, the american gun manufactoring industry, is enjoying a record, breaking gun sales......- wow! scary,,,,,, tell me stephen, in paris france, do you feel a need to buy a gun, in response to the virus.. stay well stephen,,,,,, wait till the american people, wake up, and find out, about climate , weather global warming, that it is a very real, out of control, event that is happing,...... they all went out and elected a president, who tells them, that it is a hoax,, and fake media.. and the people got behind him , and went along with it......... wait till they find out, they got the goverment they deserve,. wow... gaia, will defend herself, and the other species on this planet.. i really think that the planet, is much more important, then our species,. we are defintly finding out,... look at how clean the skies are, over many majour citys, right now. due to this virus pendemic,, it might be a horrable horrable, event, for us human beings,, but it is defintly, a good thing, for gaia, the living breathing earth system... this planet is not here, for our needs.. only we the human beings, are destroying the planet.... a rather rare, life sustaining planet, at this present moment, in time..................... maybee we humans, are not welcomed on this planet any longer,?.. ........ what is more important, are great world econemys, that are destroying the planet,,_?? to keep a very few, percent of people at the very top, very wealthy,,..... at the expense, of the planet living breathing system,, and not to mention, us dumb slave, worker bees, at the bottom..................... its incredible, to belive, that a modern day, president in the usa, has doen what is being done........ completly setting the world back, and turned against, the realitys of our time.. saying no to science, and destroying much legistration,, , .. and the people ralleying, behind him,, marching on, with this hellish reality,,,,,,,,,,.., i cant belive any of it................ this mad man ,, has a very strong base, of ignorant, back ward stupid, . morons, out in the street waving their flags, and their stupid guns........-----.. indeed, they got the goverment they deserve............................

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honeycomq · 6 years ago

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yo , waddup waddup !!! it’s simba again & this time , i’m giving you a glimpse into the life of the party and fellow lambda sigma omega man himself , ARTHUR CHAE ! before reading the listed triggers will be present : self - inflicted injuries , mentions of violence.

* ☆ ◞ IM CHANGKYUN. CISMALE. HE/HIM. ◟ wait, wasn’t that ARTHUR CHAE? they’re a TWENTY-ONE year old JUNIOR, hailing from ALBANY, NEW YORK. i heard they’ve chosen to study PERFORMING ARTS while living at LAMBDA SIGMA OMEGA. word around campus is that they’re EASYGOING & WARM-HEARTED but also quite AWKWARD & REMOTE. if you happen to see them walking to class with their earbuds in, they’re probably listening to BON BON CHOCOLAT by EVERGLOW. ( simba, 18, cst, she/her. )

first off . his music choice ??? i’m STILL laughing

anyWAy , onto this ... fucking disaster , jfc .

arthur was the result of a hookup gone bad . his dad was a male escort and his mother was just a client who had bargained for more than she could handle . was literally given to his dad after turning two and has never seen his “surrogate” ever since .

his dad was just turning his life around for the better . got out of the game and got a real job working for his uncle’s mechanic shop . this was where his father would meet his now step - mother, or his real mom as far as he’s concerned .

had two twin siblings three years later and would snap necks if something happened to them .

was a child who possessed an idgaf attitude at a young age . he was quite the little shit , tbh . always taking things without asking , breaking something and hiding it , throwing rocks at the neighbor’s kids . quite an interesting asshole .

maybe it was because he stayed up night and watched programs he shouldn’t have . and porn but HEY .

this carried on into his childhood days , which caused a lot of fucking trouble . he practically lived in the principal’s office at school by this time .

arthur didn’t care . and it’s all because of the followers he gained .

known the “arthur the asshole” among students , and some teachers , this was when he started loving attention . he was needy for it , would literally die without it .

even much so , he noticed that some teachers would actually feel sorry for him , thinking something is going on at home . which brings up into how he was sent to live with his uncle on his step - mother’s side .

arthur thought it would be funny if he came to school one day looking like he was almost road kill and blamed it on his family . it gained him attention , but not the kind he was used to . the school immediately contacted cps . this stunt nearly cost him his sisters , and that was when he quickly admitted to hurting himself . dad wasn’t happy , step - mom felt bad but thought that he just needed to get away for a while .

a while turned into years .

as a teenager , he grew quite the reputation . fuckboy and liar . how pretty .

schmoozed his way into anyone’s hearts then proceeded to break them bc that’s the tREnD , riGHt ?????

honestly this all started when he was used as a bet for a football player to make a “gay” come out .

he knew he was bi-sexual so this was just the icing on the cake . they dated undercover for five months , which led to him losing his virginity to this guy . the outcome ? having a video of him giving the guy a bj displayed during a prep - ralley .

his response ? “this just proves that i can take your boyfriends , ladies ! might wanna watch keep an eye on him before i change his life” and a fUCKING WINK .

literally fought his ex that same night on the football field and won . he punched until he saw red . then proceeded to cry in the school’s pool area afterward .

the kid’s just dsyfunctional . doesn’t know what to do especially now that his uncle is a drug addict .

came to the conclusion one night after smoking for the first time with the old man across the street that he was gonna do something that would make him proud .

turns out being a male stripper was harder than he thought so ig college will do for now .

the old man across the street soon became his second father and helped pay for his tuition . actually got a scholarship for being left - handed but was right so WHOOPIE .

went to nyu so he would still be somewhat close to the elder . contacts him anyway possible .

his freshman year was a breeze . he stayed to himself , got his work done . was all about making himself & the ones he loved proud his first semester . it was second semester that was just ... wOw .

the partying scene consumed him . it was his literal aesthetic . empty beer cans in the morning , the pain from the sun blinding your eyes , the intense head - pounding from drinking . he BREATHED that shit .

became well - known on campus after diving into the crowd from the upstairs balcony of a party . the guy’s fun to be around .

was offered to join the zetas but kindly refused since he hated how they acted . SHOCKING

after becoming a party animal , he went on to being the heart - breaker as well . this was actually on accident , i swear . the boy has the mindset that nothing good ever stays and that you can’t trust no one . he broke up some really long - lasting relationships because of this . even platonic ships didn’t last long .

now in his junior year , arthur’s starting to see that life doesn’t fucking matter LMAO .

like in a “if you’re going to fuck up, fuck up all the way.” type shit

in conclusion : arthur is the human definition of trying but also the definition of damaged .

FUN FACTS !!!!!!

my favorite fact about him : he joined lambda sigma omega bc he fucking hates zetas . the parties are nice , yes , but fuck those guys .

when he first heard about the frat opening he laughed bc why the hell would these idiots want to piss off two HIGHLY liked greek houses ? then realized “... that’s literally what i do” so into lambda it is ! was gonna be vice president bc why the fuck not but didn’t want to risk fucking up a freshman’s life so he stuck with just being a pledge .

honestly ?? just wants to shut up the zetas soon . give them a taste of their own medicine .

can be noticed on campus rocking a black hoodie and black nail polish .

never spoke to his twin sisters since leaving but does write them letters even though he hates it .

lowkey cries in his sleep but shush .

aquarius in sun , moon in libra .

joined the baseball team as well as the campus radio station and theatre club .

if you can approach him when he’s sober you’re braver than the marines .

kinda cocky , a little bit conceited but it’s only because he’s tired of feeling hated by everything so he just .. hates himself so it’s easier ??? if that’s a way to describe it .

#violet:intro #onCE AGAIN #i hate human interaction #but yEEH

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oleathe · 6 years ago

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Billie jean King leaves the tennis association after they refused to pay the women what they’re worth

A bunch of women ralley behind her

Serena Williams is continually discriminated against, so much so as banning a suit she wears.

A bunch of women ralley behind her and... oh wait that didn’t happen

Wonder why??

#serena williams #tennis

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finanzwealth · 5 years ago

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Portfolio Monitoring, Rebalancing and Averaging * Investing is good! If you have decent amount of money we can invest easily in a short span of time. Of course before you start investing, you analyse those fundamental parameters of a firm. That's good job! * When does portfolio balancing come? But your job does not gets ended from that time. It is very essential to monitor portfolio then and there. Monitoring is like reviewing. Returns of investment depends on how deep you monitor it. Everyone invests with a target and in case if you find that there is deviation in your travelling path then obviously you are in need of portfolio balancing. * What is portfolio balancing? Portfolio balancing is the process of bringing a portfolio of Investments that have deviated away from the targeted asset allocation back into it's original allocation so that it is aligned with Investor needs. * Why it is essential? It is because rate of return earned by our assets are not same all the time and it depends on overall situations that we come across. A portfolio may give good returns or bad returns depending on it's performance. Even SEBI does reshuffling of indices once in 6 months. In similar way one should have a look on their portfolio once in 6 or 12 months atleast. * What should you do? If your asset gets over-weighted then sell of those and participate in the coming cycle like finding assets which are under-weighted. An asset becomes over-weighted when Investor correctly participates in uptrend ralley. An asset becomes under-weighted when it does not give much returns or if it does not participate in uptrend ralley of the market. * Averaging It is in the hands of Investors to get benefited from short term Investments that he makes. We do observe a stock or NAV of Mutual Fund closely. It may sometimes move towards our predicted direction or sometimes it may move against our prediction. In case of equity then you need to average for every 20% drop from your investment point if it is a good company. In case of NAV drop in Mutual Funds you have invested, then you should wait for right time and enter into the same Mutual Funds by making a bulk purchase or lum https://www.instagram.com/p/B9Jv50tB-3a/?igshid=xj0pxewkda6

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hdawg1995 · 7 years ago

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DnD Antics: “we’re called The Wrecking Crew for a reason!”

its war as the party ralleys their allies and unleashes the true meaning of “Wrecking crew”! (bonus i has this song playing in the head phones most of the time. really sets the mood).

first things first Nazul’s player returns to us via skype! and what a return he makes! we’ll get to that in a second. the game starts where we left off- in a icy caseum. Alicaria is able to get her deity’s heart back along with a WHOLE DRAGON’S HORDE OF GEMS!

envoy:...i wonder how we get out of this caseum...? Elizander: *places a hand on Envoy’s shoulder* we wish it! just close your eyes and imagine you’re up there! envoy: *a look of ‘are you high?’* coolie: i cast fly on her and chuck her! *rolls* 21 on a strength check! me: w-WAIT I HAVE WINGS! WHY ARE YOU CASTING FLY! *rolls* 31 REFLEX! DM: *laughing* so you are thrown up into the air and catch yourself, but the wind picks you up and slams you into the side of the rock face. *laughter* me: like a god dang gnat. DM: *rolls* you take 43% of your health. you also start falling paige: i make a elivador to take us up. lindsy: i get on the elivator. DM: *rolls* you take another 13% from falling Envoy. paige: CAN I MAKE A PILLOW FOR HER TO LAND ON? DM: yes. Envoy you land on a pillow. envoy: *pats pillow. just lays there.* me: coolie i had 18 health left ;^; elizander: huh...d-...didn’t think that one through. Spine: maybe you didn’t throw her hard enough. Elizander: GOOD POINT! *tries to reach for envoy* me and envoy: NO! NO TOUCHY! Vale: *watching envoy fall*.....seems about right.

after we all get out of the area we decided its high time to gather allies! Elizander teleports to the witcher schools. he is able to get every school except the Ape (so bear, wolf, lizard, whale, dragon and cat).

leader of dragon school: DID YOU KNOW THE WORLD IS ENDING YOU BASTARD??? elizander: yes. thats why i’m here. i came to tell you where to go and- leader: WE KNOW WHERE THE FUCK TO GO! I SLAYED DRAGONS THERE! Elizander: I know. it was impressive! I’m proud of you guys! leader: IM PROUD OF YOU TOO, ELIZANDER! Elizander: *no one has ever told him they were proud of him. ever. hes probably crying if witchers had emotions* FOR THE DRAGON SCHOOL!

Spine gathers the elves and lizards- the gnomes are already on their way WITH VOLTRON! Spine also gets some demonic powers to help out at the cost of... all the lizard men minus shaa (cause shaa don’t play that game).

Alicaria resurrects her deity/mom and ralleies the uldrha. the fey of the fey wild also send as many as they can (fey wild is having troubles so its not much BUT THEY ARE HELPING!)

Vale’s children hatch! PRECIOUS MOMENT!!1!! she recruits the Jade dragons and some kagets.

silly Q is an idol and gives all her fans a heart attack by using mass message and call them all who are able to battle. also shes on a body pillow (and the rest of the party is like her anime harem??? this was just a weird but funny moment).

even envoy gets some rumors going through the grape vine. the band of 8 is united for once! ALSO me: envoys gonna teleport to Frank’s forest and is gonna find frank. Frank: hey bruh! whats goin on? Envoy: sup bruh. a wars is going down. Frank: a war? bruh thats not cool.... envoy: i know right bro? and I’m squishy. Frank: yeah bruh... Envoy: i might die. Frank: Bruh.. thats not cool Bruh. what about the blue flying moose bruh? what..whats going to happen? Envoy: i don’t now bruh. i wanted to say good bye. Frank: NAh brah. TREES! COME ON BROS! *summons army of tryants* me: THAT WASN’T THE INTENDED RESULT BUT I’LL TAKE IT! DM: he grabs you and pokes you. Frank: yeah bruh thats real squishy. Envoy: yup. Frank: okay blue bark. envoy: wait what. DM: you now have blue bark armour. it goes away when you want it to. you are still human, you’re just covered in bark. me and Envoy: YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

its 2 days later. army after army have comes. its time to start. and as legions of allies destroy the cultist’s forces (also algres is no longer enslaved hes free and left and took one of the cultist’s walls with him) the cult leaders and generals are falling, one by one, as spectral elves and spectral assassins kill each and every one of them!

NAZUL IS BACK BABY!

the battle begins with the party and the two cult leaders. it was heckin intense! we pulled out all the stops! im really tired from it but i wote it down in my DnD notes so i’ll update this tomorrow (I PROMISE!) with the “details”.

but we won! we lost a lot of people... but they will be remembered! the party is now level 28. we’re really close to the end of the wrecking crew’s adventures together....

this is gonna be some scary madness!

#dungeons and dragons #DnD #antics #the wrecking crew

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kmn247m · 5 years ago

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reflection

A strange old year with the highest highs and the lowest lows I've ever experienced, along with some very important life lessons/curve balls thrown in. I would've said it's been an awful year; however a friend of mine said not long ago that "it hasn't been a bad year, it's just been a year where bad things have happened". True.

In reality, and despite the magnitude of said bad thing that and all that came with it, this year really has been for what of a better word... great. And so... reflection. Thursday 7th February I was at a charity quiz with a few of my work colleagues. I had a missed call that from 'Dad' that I couldn't answer during the quiz so left it with the intention of calling him back when I got home. "He's probably drunk anyway" I thought. Sure enough the quiz ran late, I got home and went straight to sleep. No call back. Friday 8th February I was out for a friend's birthday party. I still remember being sat on the bench in the smoking area of Outback when I received a message from Dad's best friend sending me their condolences. I remember thinking "I know I'm drunk but what is this guy talking about, surely he has the wrong person, Dad only tried to call me last night" but my mind wouldn't settle so I referred the message to family... suffice to say absolutely nothing and nobody could've prepared me for the call that followed. The next 30 minutes or so was a blur but I do remember inconsolably crying whilst two friends had to effectively carry me out of the door because despite my best efforts my legs just would. not. work. Cue the following morning which is met with not only a hangover but incomprehensable emotion, and the question "well what the fuck do we do now?" The week that followed was again like nothing I've ever experienced and nothing I could prepare for. A funeral I never expected to plan. A goodbye I only got to say once and it wasn't perfect because I wasn't ready. More tears and sleepless nights than I would ever care to admit. Guilt, overwhelming guilt for not answering the phone call during the stupid quiz, not calling him back, not speaking to him more often in general. What kind of daughter was I? Unanswered questions. Was he alone? Was he happy? Did he know he was going to die? What would I have said to him if I'd have known? Is it better that we didn't know? It's difficult to think about these things, but the only one certainty and saving grace that came out of such a horrible time is love. Love to and from my entire family. Relatives from everywhere that made every effort to be there. The hugs, the laughs, the tears, the countless cups of tea, the way that we managed to fill the entire pub for the wake and all stories and memories shared were ones of love. No hate. The love and strength shown by my sister in an attempt to shield my brother and I from the 'adult' details of planning a funeral - the expense, the undertaker, everything. The love shown by my friends. In the weeks post-news I felt so empty. They sent flowers, messages of support, love, ralleyed around me and made sure I was never unwillingly alone and that I could talk about it if I wanted. A few people in particular who I'm sure know who they are without being mentioned.. but I also found comfort in people I never expected, and in retrospect, lost it in people I would've expected it from. I came to the sad realization that time and life and people do not stand still because something bad has happened to you. Some days you forget you’re even sad and then you’ll receive a reminder in the worst way and that’s something you have to live with. Although sometimes you wish it wouldn't, you have to get up for work in the morning, you have to speak to people, you have to deal with your day to day life because it will not wait for you.

And with that came the following.... Success. A distinction in a diploma module that I typed up the coursework for on the boat on the way to Dad's funeral. I submitted it a day after my return not expecting anything from it, and landed the best marks I'd ever achieved. Shortly followed and largely topped by being awarded Young Achiever of the Year by the Isle of Man Insurance Institute. Easily my biggest achievement to date! Next... More love. In a very unexpected human that I didn't ever imagine I'd meet, but as fate would have it I decided to go out that night and there he was. Fast forward 7 months and he's been my boyfriend for 4 of those months. He is my best friend, myself in male form, knows me better than I know myself, is my voice of reason, my biggest fan and everything inbetween... Memories. I had the trip of a lifetime this July. I visited Rome, Nice, Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin, Prague, Krakow and Budapest. I experienced albeit sweltering heat, ate some of the greatest food, and witnessed some of the wonders of the world in these places. I discovered things about these places I would never have known otherwise, but also discovered things about myself. I hate to sound cliché in saying that I found myself while I was away, but I really really did. But the memories did not stop there. There have been fantastic nights in, nights out where we drank gin and stayed up dancing to stupid songs until 4am; my first ever trip to London; Christmas with Lewis and my family was incredible; and I'm looking forward to celebrating the New Year, welcoming 2020 with all its fresh ideas and plans and new memories....

Lessons. Before this year I'd probably cringe at any quote I saw relating to "don't take anything for granted" or "never go to bed on an argument" etc. you know the ones. But I've come to understand the true value of these statements and will never be ignorant again. If I were to give anyone advice based on what I've learnt this year, I would be this: - Pick up the phone call. Or better yet, pick up the phone. It may be an unknown number, it may be a nuisance call, it may be somebody calling in a crisis, or they may have just been calling to say hello. Pick it up. If you can't, call back at your earliest opportunity. Even if nobody calls you, call someone - a distant relative - or send somebody a message to let them know you're thinking of them once in a while. It goes a very, very long way. - Love unequivocally and whole heartedly. Every single person that you surround yourself with is worthy of all of your love - there are no limits to how much you can give. The world truly is a more beautiful place when there is love around. - Let go of the small stuff. So someone said something to annoy you that one time - so? Will you remember in a week? I'm not saying you shouldn't argue, and by all means if something offends you then please please make it known.. but to be blunt, ask yourself this - if they died unexpectedly tomorrow, would you hold it against them? If the answer is no, be in a mood with them for an hour or so and then just let. it. go. Say sorry even if you're not. Make peace and live in it. And last but not least, do not take anybody or anything for granted. Here I go, saying it. But it's true. If not for any other reason, so you don't end up like me, living life sad and full of guilt at the wastest opportunities I had to spend time with my Dad, when I would give anything in the world right now for 5 more minutes with him. Too often in life we mistake kindness for weakness and play on people to get what we want. We assume we have all the time in the world, when really it can (and sometimes does) end tomorrow. So, as a parting message, a rule for us all to live by. A beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset. When you wake up, take a second to think about what a privilege it is to simply be alive and healthy. The moment we start acting like life is a blessing, I assure you it will start to feel like one. 2020, I am ready for you.

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