#waiting for the hour to go motivation to kick in

[calebslittlecrow]

Stop Procrastinating Shifting Nah, you're not "waiting for the right time", you're just avoiding your own power and I love you, but get the fuck up and do something. We are all out here saying we want to shift. We believe in it (more or less for some people). We yearn and dream about or DR, about that hot looking, successful and potentially emotionally stable version of ourselves. But lets take a look at what we are actually doing a lot of times. Scrolling through shifting posts.... again. Because we haven't done that the last few days, huh? Re-reading the same LoA post hoping it hits a bit different this time (it doesn't). Shuffling unnecessary shit around in our scripts, because changing where the "About Me" section is will unlock the cheat code to the multiverse somehow. Telling ourselves "I'll do it tonight if the vibes feel right". And then we fall asleep before we get the second affirmation out because we pushed back sleeping and trying for 4 hours at this point. Busted, huh? When we are constantly doing that, we are neither manifesting nor shifting, we are just mentally pacing in circles like a neurotic racoon. This isn't preparing... it's procrastinating. I say this with all the love I can come up with after only 4 hours of sleep: There is no perfect attempt. You just need to fucking start doing something. The chances you will shift by only tweaking your script over and over and over again, waiting for something to happen, are rather low. The chances you will wake up one day and say "Yes! I have been enlightened and now I am ready!" in regards to shifting are also low. Because you are already ready! You have been from the moment you got the definition of shifting thrown your way. I think most of us are just scared to fuck it up and "fail". Of course it's sometimes scary to want something so bad it makes us cry and all we can do is manifest and hope for the best. But delaying that shit won't make that scary feeling go away. It just gives doubts more time to invade your thoughts. Can we all agree to drop the thought of needing a 27 step pre shifting routine, stop pretending that we need to be "in the right headspace" while trying to shift and to stop expecting motivation to just suddenly appear like a convenient divine ass-kicking as if it is needed? Yeah? Great. We'll just start anyway. Picking some random fucking method, doesn't matter which one. Saying our affirmations even if we feel like a delusional nutjob. Just.. trying. Doing something, anything really. Even if we suck at focusing or visualizing. Just do it anyway. Showing up and doing something even if it is not perfect is pulling your brain away from being scared of fucking it up. Build that momentum. We shift through starting and doing, not through running away from shifting ^-^

[pyrodolls]

hi i was wondering if you would do headcannons of the yan!fanboy if reader actually noticed him coming to all their shows and events

OBSESSED (SUPERFAN! YANDERE BOY X POPSTAR! READER)

WARNINGS: stalking, average yandere tendencies, nsfw, perverted yandere, gender neutral reader, mentions of naked reader but no genitalia addressed, dom reader, reader is compliant with the yandere and teases him a ton, lowercase intended. btw i do not condone yanderes irl.

A/N: i hope y'all know i read every single one of your asks, comments, and reblogs. i appreciate them all and they do brighten my day. i'm just saying this so y'all know that the stuff you send to other writers (not just me) matters a lot!! when you interact it gives them inspiration!!! and motivation!! me personally sometimes i see ONE kind reblog and i immediately get my ass up and start writing something just because of that one person. don't get me wrong, i still love all my lurkers that silently like a ton of my stuff, y'all are important too. anyways i'll shut up now onto the hcs. (btw this ended up being a fic instead of hcs i apologize. i went crazy over this i'm sorry anon LMAO)

"hey, you look pretty familiar. have you been to a few shows before?" you asked kindly, facing the short man in the front row of the audience.

bayani froze as the stadium's screens pointed to him. he opened his mouth in an attempt to say something, but nothing came out. his face went red and his throat went dry. did you actually notice him, or was he just dreaming?

after a few seconds of waiting for an answer, you shrugged. "sorry, maybe i mistook you for someone else. anyways..."

the yandere boy still didn't move, with his mouth agape, as you continued on with your show. the people around bayani didn't seem to care, assuming that he was just a starstruck fan. but it was more than that. much more than that.

out of the millions of fans that attend your shows and events, you recognized him among them. you noticed him. and he didn't know how to handle it. what was he supposed to say? what would you even talk about? sure, he's seen all of your interviews and heard your music and dissected your lyrics for hours every single day, but would you ever want to interact with him as much as he wanted to interact with you? he was just a lowlife. he had an average job, average amount of money, he lived in a shitty apartment, and he had no friends or major accomplishments. all of his free time outside of work was spent on you. spent on following your every move and investigating everything you've put your hands on. if you ever spoke to him, you'd probably think he was some sort of pathetic stalker.

that thought drove him mad. he couldn't even focus on the rest of your concert. he didn't hear the blaring music and screams from the crowd. he wasn't paying attention to your performance, either.

he could only stand there and imagine the punishments you'd inflict on him if you found out about his obsession. would you call your security to take him away? he'd hope not. if he's going to be kicked and pushed around, perhaps even handcuffed, he'd rather you do the job rather than some random guard. but maybe he'd accept the punishment, only because you were the one who deemed it necessary. he takes your word like gospel, so he'll take whatever punishment you want, even though he would prefer your hands on him while you do it.

his imagination ran wild as your concert finished and you walked off the stage with your dancers. the crowd of fans in the stadium dispersed around him, moving along with their day. but bayani couldn't just move on with his day knowing that you know he exists now. how is he supposed to simply move on from that? he spent a long time making sure you never noticed him. even though he attended every single one of your concerts and events, he did not want to be noticed. he knew he wouldn't be able to handle it. but it finally happened. he finally got a taste of what it's like to be seen by the love of his life. he couldn't just leave it at that. he had to do something about it.

being under your gaze, even if it was only a few seconds, made him feel like he went to heaven. it made all of the hundreds of dollars he spent on you worth it. all of the hours he spent listening to your music and watching videos of you was worth it. it was like he awoke from a slumber. a long, miserable slumber. he had to find a way to thank you. say something to you. he messed up when he simply froze after you saw him. who knows when he'll get another chance like that?

it took a few hours for the stadium to be empty, and the security started to shoo bayani away. but when he went outside, the parking lot was still full. your concert ended hours ago, but there was still loads of cars trying to leave. it would be frustrating, but bayani had to find a way out quickly.

he climbed on the back of a nearby truck and rested his legs there, waiting patiently for the vehicle to move out of the traffic. even though he knew the truck wouldn't go anywhere near your mansion, he knew how to get to your house on foot. he only needed to rest on the truck until the traffic was gone.

after a few hours on the road, he jumped out of the vehicle, and started to walk to your mansion on foot. he didn't need to look up the location online, because he already knew where it was. he visited your home many times in the past, he just never attempted to go inside before.

his veins were on fire and he started to sweat the closer he got. he was starting to have second thoughts about his idea. but there was no time to go back, because he already showed up to your house before he could change his plans.

to get inside, he had to climb up a tree, jump off of it, and land in your backyard. he used that trick often in the past, since it was not his first time going to your house. he often snuck on your property to watch or take pictures of you while you slept.

he tried opening your bedroom window, but it was locked. he had to try a different one.

he went over to a window beside your bedroom, and thankfully, it was unlocked. but the moment he opened the window, he heard the sound of water running and your familiar voice humming a song. were you in the shower?

bayani climbed inside as quietly as possible, and closed the window behind him. his suspicions were correct. he was in your bathroom, and you were taking a shower. your curtains covered up your figure, so he couldn't see you.

bayani looked to the side of the room and saw a pile of your dirty clothes on the floor. he ran up to it and immediately took a large whiff at the pile. it smelled divine to him. he couldn't get enough of it. he quickly spotted your used underwear in the pile and snatched it without thinking, then he stuffed it in his pocket. you wouldn't notice, right?

before he could take the rest of your clothes, the water suddenly stopped. bayani ran to hide, in a spot where you couldn't see him but he could see you. you opened the shower curtains and stepped out with a towel in your hands. you were completely naked, and still drenched in water. bayani felt like he died and went to heaven again that day. he couldn't believe what he was seeing. you were completely naked, right in front of his eyes. ignoring the puddle in his pants, he nervously fumbled around his pockets, trying to find his phone. there was no way he could pass up an opportunity like this. without hesitation, he snapped a photo of you.

but he didn't notice that the flash was on.

he froze, and you looked towards him. neither of you said a word, and bayani saw his future flash before his eyes. you would probably scream for security and he would get taken away to prison, never to see your face again. his life would be over.

"you're the guy i've been seeing everywhere, huh?" you whispered.

"...are you going to, uh... send me away?" bayani gulped.

you thought about it for a moment. this guy clearly cared a lot about you, because you saw him literally everywhere you went. no matter what country you visited, he was always there. even if you didn't tell a single soul where you were going, he was somehow always there. you even saw him on your property a few times, so you knew how crazy he was. but you still let him do it. and you never reported him, either. you knew exactly what he wanted. you could always hear him moaning outside your window, knowing he would have one hand down his pants and a camera on the other.

he was cute, so why not have some fun with him?

"come here." you commanded. he followed your order without thinking, immediately falling down to his knees in front of you.

you grabbed his chin, and made him look up at you. he felt hot tears well up in his eyes as you stared him down. he didn't say a word, but you knew exactly what he was thinking.

you pressed your knee against the wet stain on his pants, and he let out a pathetic whimper. he was getting off on it.

he didn't know what to do. his dreams were finally coming true. he got noticed by you, got into your house, saw you naked, and you finally touched him. he was overwhelmed, and started crying. he didn't mean to look so weak in front of you for a first impression, but he couldn't help it. besides, he'd make a fool out of himself any day for you.

"you're so pathetic.. you've been stalking me for so long, and now you break into my house to see me naked. i could call the police and have you arrested..." you whispered, as you started putting more pressure on his crotch, moving your knee up and down on it, and inching your face closer to his.

he sobbed, “please, don't! i promise, it'll never happen again. i'll stop, i'll do whatever you want, i'll-"

you cut him off by connecting your lips to his, setting his heart on fire. you pulled away after a few seconds, leaving him speechless. there's no way you just kissed him. he had to be dreaming.

and then you moved your knee away from his crotch right before he could cum, making him let out a whimper and crumble to the ground.

"thanks for letting me have some fun with you. we can do this again soon.. if you be a good boy and return my underwear." you winked, walking away and leaving bayani a hard, pathetic, leaking mess on your bathroom floor.

[yandere-daydreams]

i'm being forced by myself to make a proper post for this poll. may gojo reign as a codependent king for years to come.

Cuteness Aggression With The Yan!JJK Boys.

Characters: Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Toji, Mahito, and Sukuna.

TW: Kidnapping, Unhealthy Relationships, and Implied Non/Con.

Gojo is near-violent. Expect to be constantly covered in bruises from his habit of full-body tackling you whenever he notices you're wearing one of his shirts or curled up in his bed or quirking your lips in the way he's never been able to resist. Tends to hold onto you for a while, too, keeping you pressed against him while he squeals and coos about how adorable his partner is, making you sound like more of an especially beloved pet rather than a live-in captive. No amount of squirming will distract him, either - he's going to be there until someone literally pries him off of you which, because there's a good chance he's already got you locked up tight in that luxury penthouse of his, isn't going to be anytime soon.

Geto is more used to receiving affection than dulling it out, so he doesn't really know what to do with himself when he's suddenly overwhelmed with the temptation to wrap his hands around your neck and squeeze until you stop laughing in a way that makes his heart want to beat out of his chest. In the end, he sorta just,,, picks you up and starts carrying you around like a giant cat. Maybe pinches your cheek when you inevitably start complaining and ask to be put down. Cult members who ask why you've been slung over his shoulder for the past hour and a half are immediately done away with and curse-users don't fair much better.

Nanami, as the only (relatively) emotionally-regulated person on this list, takes it in-stride. He tries not to force affection onto you, so he'll settle for a few headpats and maybe a kiss to your forehead, if you aren't absolutely terrified of him at that point. If you catch him in a more vulnerable state, either injured or exhausted, he might be a little more forceful - wrapping an arm around your waist and hauling you against his chest, where he can hold you until you eventually give-in and stop struggling, but at least he tries to hold himself back. Sometimes. Maybe. If you're lucky, that day.

Toji is almost as bad as Geto, but not quite as awkward. He tends to scoop you up, drag you away from whatever you're doing, and lay you down where he can pepper your face with kisses and whine when you shove at his chest. He usually lets you go after a few minutes, but it's in your best interest not to squirm too much until he does. He'll just smirk and kiss your neck and say something about how precious his little sweetheart is being, today. The fondness-motivated aggression is short-lived. What he'll do if you give him the idea that you might need more of his affection won't be.

Mahito is twice as unhinged as Gojo and only half as self-conscious. His only saving grace is that, by the time he gets genuinely overwhelmed by something you do, you're going to be used to weathering his constant attempts to suffocate you via forty-five minute hugs. When he realizes how cutely you wince when he pokes a fresh bruise and decides he has to dig his teeth into your shoulder and refuse to let go about it, you'll probably be too used to his ""affection"" to do anything other than sigh and make sure he doesn't severe anything important, this time.

Sukuna is, in his defense, rarely gentle about anything, so you really can't expect him to have a gentle reaction when he sees what an adorable reaction you wear as you wait for him to take his first drink from the chalice you laced with you most recent poisonous fixation. You can kick and thrash all you want as two of his arms loop under yours and pull you onto his lap, as he cups your face and shoves tongue down your throat and wonders aloud if you taste as endearing as you look. He always keeps you by his side, but for the rest of the day, he won't be satisfied unless you're practically on top of him, riding on his shoulders or straddling his thigh. He'll even drink your deadly little elixir straight from the bottle, if you ask him to. It won't work, but you know, it's the thought that counts and all <3

[frid4y]

you wouldn't call yourself dumb when it comes down to it, but your not the brightest tool in the shed. mainly because your focus isn't on school, and more on.. everything else. you would much rather go to a party or watch yourself in the mirror instead of sitting in a boring lecture.

but not everyone sees it your way, especially not your university, which is threatening to kick you out if you don't get your grades up. when you first got the letter, you only stared at it in shock , then spent an hour crying to your dad on the phone, who couldn't do much to help you. bribery is a crime after all.

he only had one solution, which was hiring you a tutor. at first, you were against it. now you had to listen to some nerd talk about math your not gonna need again? absolutely not. yet, that was until you met your tutor. he was hot, all six feet of him. those hazel eyes staring down at you with a scrutinizing gaze behind his black rimmed glasses. kento was his name, and you never wanted to forget it.

due to your ignorance, you thought it would be pretty effortless to get into his pants. batting your lashes a few times and running your hands along his biceps, gasping at how strong he looked and asking if he goes to the gym. it's usually that simple, men are easy. but, you would be lying if you said you were able to even get a reaction out of him. his response being to "keep it professional" and "i'm you tutor, you shouldn't be behaving in this manner."

three long excruciating months of sitting in the library and talking about subjects you had no interest in. you pulled all your best tactics, but he just never gave in. until one fateful night. you didn't have the energy to get up from you dorm, so you just told kento to come over. he was reluctant, but you promised you had no alternative motives. such a liar, anyone could've seen that. but he didn't.

you intentionally put on the smallest pair of pajamas you own, leaving almost nothing to the imagination. about 15 minutes into your studying session, you noticed kento's face was extremely red, and he was avoiding looking at you. you felt the smile threatening to form, but you couldn't let him know that. "kento? are you okay? you look as red as a tomato!" you say, placing a "concerned" hand on his upper thigh, feeling the muscle twitch under your hand.

his breathing gets heavier, and you look down where your hand is, your eyes landing on the forming bulge in his jeans. jackpot. the smirk that was hidden by your faux worry is now plastered on your face, and you see those hazel eyes darken as they flick between your tits and your face, his glare intense. your screwed, but you've been waiting for this fucking moment.

"the little whore thinks it's fun to tease, huh? f-fuckk... you don't know how long i've been waiting to put this bratty mouth to good use." kento grunts, his hands in your hair making a makeshift ponytail as his hips thrust up, grinding his cock into your mouth. the sight of your lips stretching around his length to fit it all in makes him go crazy, watching how his pre-cum and your saliva coat his dick. you maintain eye contact with kento, watching how his lips part in hazy satisfaction, then come together to muffle what you assume was a groan.

you feel tears brimming at your eyes, and kento sees them, the view only spurring him on and causing his cock to twitch in your mouth. "wonder how daddy would feel if he found out his daughter was slutting herself out for her tutor.. and parading around in these tiny fucking outfits— shitt, c'mon princess, don't tap out on me now.." he coos, pulling his cock out of your mouth with a wet pop as your nails dig into his thigh.

kento watches as you catch your breath, strings of spit connecting your lips and his tip. he smirks as watches your lashes flutter rapidly, every breath heavy and deep. “feel better baby?” he coos, tugging your bottom lip slightly with his thumb. when you nod, he smiles. “good, cause we’re not done. now say ahh and open up..” he taps his cock on your cheek, waiting for you. his cock twitches against your face causing pre-cum to smear across your cheek. when you open your mouth again, kento slips himself back in, your lips wrap around his cock eagerly as your tongue slides over his tip.

“good girl—and just when I thought you were incapable of listening. seems like you’ll only listen when your throat is stuffed with cock.” he teases, guiding your head farther down, the sound of your gags purely music to his ears. “wonder how much more I can fit in that pretty little mouth..” you can only make incoherent sounds as if in response, completely filling up you throat as your nose comes in contact with his pubic bone.

kento's grip on your hair tightens, his breathing getting heavier. you watch as he leans back and his head tilts up.. he's getting closer. he moans, his tugging almost bruising as his jaw slacks and his cock presses right against the very depths of your mouth, hips stuttering as his orgasm comes rushing out of him. you swallow his cum as quickly as it comes, earning a breathy whimper from him.

“i knew you would give in, just a slut like the rest of them.” you grin, kento rolling his eyes.

“shut up and get onto the fucking bed.”

[ew-selfish-art]

DpxDc AU: Soulmates only meet in the afterlife...And Danny is dead half of the time. 

It was the general consensus that Soulmates did indeed exist, and that there were a couple of hints to know if your soulmate was, but you wouldn’t know for certain until you died. This was often devastating for widows of non-soulmates but... Widows could hear the voices of and feel the phantom touches of their Soulmates. That after their loved one passed away, they didn’t truly leave them. 

Soulmates always traveled to the infinite realms together in a pair, unwilling to pass on without the other. This leads to the ghosts that seemingly never moved on and gave Danny so much grief, they needed to pass the time until their loved one died some how. 

Danny dies and feels himself talking to himself more often while transformed into Phantom, kicking butt and taking names aside. Just small things to reassure himself, nothing more than an instinct to process the situation he was in with this insane life he was living. 

I’m going to be okay, I’m going to get out of this.

I swear to all the ancients that Casper High better make a statue in my honor. 

Mom and Dad don’t mean it. 

The fundraiser to rebuild Poltergeist Avenue is going to be ridiculous.

Mom and Dad wouldn’t mean it if they really knew. 

Nasty burger really should rebrand but my goodness is this the best shit ever. 

It takes a few years to think about the fact that he might have a soulmate who could hear him- how unlikely would that be though? It’s not like he was haunting the person, so it probably wasn’t any big issue. Was there a proximity thing involved? Clockwork sighs and gives him no true answers. 

...

Tim has been hearing the voice of his Soulmate for years. Not...All the time though. He’d mapped out the time frame by which he did hear the additional male voice, accumulated enough data to determine a general profile and geotagged a few of the landmarks mentioned to find the most likely town. Restaurants, street names, highschools, and notable names all help Tim to find what he’s looking for. The concerning amount of comments on his soulmates parents make Tim’s blood boil and motivate him all the more. 

Thing is...Amity Park is under a complete media blackout. The challenge nearly makes him swoon, as if his dead soulmate were leading him towards his favorite hobby (taking down corrupt groups of assholes with too much power, cult or government, was his ideal pass time). He just wants to know who his soulmate was. He wants to know who is waiting for him. 

Arriving undercover and unannounced as a random tourist, Tim cannot find his soulmates grave. Can’t find anything about the person who died all those years ago and had spoken in his ear ever since. He’s about to storm the Mayor’s office, his plans for the GIW already in motion, when a ghost attack begins. 

Phantom arrives and suddenly Tim understands who exactly he’s been looking for. Getting into the crosshairs of the fight, Tim pulls a few RR moves and Phantom cautiously approaches him after capturing the assailant ghost. 

“I’m here because you’re my soulmate, and it’s very interesting that you only talk to me during non-business hours. Care to explain what you’re doing between 9 am and 3 pm, Monday through Friday?” 

“Uh... High school mostly. Wait you can hear me? You’re my soulmate?” 

Cue Danny de-transformation, explanation of his death and ability to die on command, and Tim’s very softball interrogation with his presentation on how he found Danny through the small conversational phrases.

They kiss as the GIW headquarters explode in the background.

[kukukurona]

I MISS YOU. — yoichi isagi.

middle picture is drawn by mg___71, i can’t find the artist for the other two :c

a/n ; little gift for @bigbootyamongusimposter because my wife is on a plane rn and i wanna surprise her when she lands

cw; established relationship, written + smau chatfic, i don’t really like this but whatever, cringe, rushed, female reader

you were so incredibly bored. despite bedrotting usually curing said boringness, it was just one of those days where tiktok and doom scrolling just wasn’t cutting it for you.

kicking your feet up, you think of things to do. days like this were normally had a go-to solution — a simple call with your boyfriend, yoichi, normally did the trick. calling was fun for the times that you couldn’t see each other in real life, however you faced one major problem — yoichi. was. asleep.

earlier that day, yoichi had football practice and ended up really tired. so as soon as he got home, he texted you of course since he wanted to talk to you — but the conversation didn’t last very long since your boyfriend was barely keeping his eyes open on his end of the screen.

it’s now been a few hours, and he’s still asleep. which is good! he should be getting his quality rest, especially since tomorrow was a weekend and this week was rough for him due to exams and football. however, how is it that since he had fallen asleep, you had taken a small nap of your own, you woke up — and he still wasn’t awake!

plus its not like you hadn’t tried to text him earlier,

it had been like three hours since you texted him that, and you wanted to text him again. it was currently 2:17 am but that wasn’t a pretty enough time + you were too lazy to get off tiktok so you decided to wait until 2:20 am for him to text him again — just gotta finish this reddit story first, you thought to yourself.

it was now 2:20 am and you thought it was time to text yoichi again, when finally you were met with the best message you could receive at that time.

you called with him while he was walking, telling him about your day and stuff. before long, he reached your house, and you opened the door for him. the call obviously ended and as soon as you saw him, you gave him a big fat hug.

he giggled, “ i missed you too, yn!” yoichi smiled at you. he passed you your outdoor slippers as yoichi continued, “ i dreamt of you during my nap, you know?” he grinned, watching your eyes lit up.

“ really?! you have to tell me about it!” you exclaim at him, you were clearly flustered while at the same thing ecstatic. yoichi laughs and says, “ well let’s get on going then!” he smiles at you, taking your hand in his as you started walking back to his place.

a/n ; okay so i do NOT like the endinf but fuess what its 3 am and i want to sleep so idgaf 💔 sorry if this sucks dnejcje this is my first smau chatfic thingie, and i got so FRUSTRATED because i dont think i can delete messages on the app im using so i kept having to restart ☹️☹️ i hope you enjoyed this though! theres a little glitch thingie i accidentally placed a divider and an image when placing the texts and they kinda merged together and idk what that is and i cant remove it soo yeah 💔. sorry if yn texts weird?? i modeled her based on how i usually text soo 😭😭😭😭

thank you for reading !! ᢉ𐭩 please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending an ask if you enjoyed, it would really motivate me hehe! do not copy, translate, edit, or repost, any of my content on any platforms. this is my only account.

[pleasantlycrazyworld]

i saw you were open for requests and I had an idea in mind‼️‼️

a shy!reader who is just a ball of sunshine and horrendously down bad for Logan, while Logan is just grumpy as shit (myb Worst!Wolverine??) and basically hates the reader. Lets just assume that they are roommates, and one night, the reader was just being nice or something and Logan absolutely snapped at them for no reason and kicked them out of the apartment. And he never realized how much he cared for them until he had to nervously wait for them to come home, praying that they are ok. (bonus points if its raining outside cuz we love angst) And ofc fluffy ending if you're up for it :)

(Absolutely fine if you choose to ignore this, i understand and also feel free to change any parts of the prompt if you feel like doing so. Love you and wish you all the best <3 ).

A/N: I HAVE A PART TWO!!!! Please tell me you want a part two 🥺As always if you like my work please like, comment, and reblog! It means the world and keeps me motivated. Thank you so much for the request, sorry it took a while for me to get to it

The apartment was always felt a little warmer when you were in it. Logan hated how quickly he noticed how cold he felt now that you were gone. You were quiet. Sweet. A little skittish, like a bird that never realized the cage was open. You said “good morning” like it was a sacred ritual and left little sticky notes reminding him to eat or drink water sometimes with doodled smiley faces that made his chest tighten.

You never took up space. You never yelled. And you never stopped being kind, even when he gave you nothing but his usual gruffness and grunted responses. You called him “Logan” like it was a soft word. Like it meant something.

And tonight, you’d offered him a cup of tea. That was it. Just a warm mug, he glanced down at it and noticed it was your favorite one. It was held in your hands, cradled so softly it seemed like you were holding pure crystal and that gentle smile graced your face like always. You’d said, “Thought you might want something to wind down. It’s chamomile.”

He snapped.

“What the hell is this, huh? You think I need you mothering me like I'm some lost cause? I’m not a damn project!” You blinked. Just once and flinched like the words physically hit you.

“N-No, I just--I didn’t mean...”

“You never mean anything, do you?” he snarled. “You’re always flutterin’ around here, bein’ nice like it’s gonna fix something. Just… leave me alone.”

Your breath caught and Logan noticed how you physically seemed smaller after his words flooded your ears. You looked like he’d struck you. And then without another word you slipped on your shoes and left. The door clicked shut. Not slammed. Just clicked. Quiet as always.

An hour passed. Then two.

Logan paced. Growled. Poured out the tea in the sink and slammed the mug on the counter, the handle breaks off from the bluntness and his eyes followed it as it fell to the floor. Guilt immediately filled him. Shit. Where the hell did you go?

He thought about calling. He didn’t. You were grown, surely you were fine. Anxiety was clawing at him as he kept glancing at the door like he could will you through it. But you weren’t made of metal. You were made of warmth, of sunlight and gentle hands and those stupid little sticky notes. He kicked out one of the brightest lights he's ever seen into the cold night like some sort of trash.

At some point, guilt and anxiety bloomed into fear. And that fear bloomed into panic. What if something happened? What if you're hurt? What if you don’t come back? What if someone takes you?

The lock clicked. He's entire body jumps at the noise. You stepped in, clutching a paper bag from the 24-hour corner store. You looked damp, and cold, and small. “Hey,” you said softly, not meeting his eyes. “I got you those protein bars you like. Thought… you might want some for the morning.”

Logan didn’t speak. Couldn’t. You gave him a little smile much more broken than usual and quickly moved past him toward your room.

“Wait.”

You froze.

He stepped closer. “I didn’t mean it. What I said.”

“I know,” you whispered.

“You--you should’ve yelled back or somethin’. Thrown somethin’ at my head.” You laughed once; soft, tired, broken. “I don’t like yelling.” Logan stared at you. The way your shoulders curved inward. The way your hands trembled slightly, still holding that dumb bag of snacks. “I didn’t deserve that tea,” he said. “No. You didn’t,” you said gently. “But I'll make it anyway.”

“I’m sorry,” he rasped. You finally looked at him. “I missed you,” he said. “I was only gone a few hours.” You responded with a confused chuckle. “Felt longer,” he shrugged before quietly muttering, “So much longer.”

Silence again. Then, softly: “You want tea now?” you asked. “Only if you sit with me while I drink it.” You smiled. For real, this time. Later, the two of you sat on the worn couch, your knee barely brushing his. Logan nursed the tea like it was pure crystal. "I'm sorry I broke your mug..." He mumbled guilty. You shake your head against his words. "It's just a mug."

You leaned your head against his shoulder, tentative at first—then fully. He didn’t flinch. Didn’t growl. He just sat there, letting the warmth bleed back in. “You’re somethin’ else, you know that?” he mumbled. You hummed. “So are you.” Logan reached over, laced his fingers with yours. Maybe he wasn’t good with words. But he could be good with you. Eventually... Maybe. As long as you kept making him warm.

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[solacescastleglow]

Personal Favourite Life Hacks

As an ADHD haver with several additional memory issues, I've had to set up my life in such a way that it's basically impossible to not do important things. Here are some of those things. By the way, you have my full permission to use these even if you have no "reason" to need them, I'm not here to gatekeep.

Only books stay on/around the bed overnight, so when I wake up I don't go straight on my phone

Snoozing my wake up alarm thrice to measure half an hour after waking up (which is when I can use screens)

Using that half hour to get my reading in

Charging my devices under my yoga mat so I have to exercise before using them

Eating the same (healthy) thing for breakfast every morning so there's no need to think about it

Putting medication on top of the chai canister so there's no forgetting it

Lazy ginger shot: 1 heaped teaspoon of ginger out of the jar, a big squirt of bottled lemon juice, a little bit of honey or whatever you prefer, a good amount of turmeric, a tiny spoon of salt, and a couple of cracks of black pepper. Measure with your heart, combine into a shot glass, and follow it up with water to get the ginger fibres out of your mouth. Takes like 2 minutes, basically free if you already use these for cooking, and works the same as any other ginger shot except maybe better because it has more fibre and electrolytes.

Linen as a first layer, especially in summer

Using an app like Acloset so I don't have to empty my entire wardrobe every time I want to choose an outfit

Outfit repeating (shhhh it's fine I promise)

Don't put it down, put it away. Don't put it down, put it away. DON'T PUT IT DOWN, PUT IT AWAY. If you're holding something, never put it on a random surface, that's where things go to die.

Tiny rubbish bins wherever you hang out

Cleaning kit full of all the stuff I need to clean so when the mood strikes me, I'm not wasting precious motivation finding supplies

Time blocking

A container at the top of the stairs and at the bottom for things that go on the other floor AND as soon as something's put in it I move it to a super impossible to ignore place (like in the middle of the 5th step)

Putting on a song and seeing how much of an area I can clean before the song ends (for a bigger area put your laundry on and see how much you can get done before it's finished)

Putting my themed moodboards for each part of my life in the place I need to see them

Watching something themed around the topic I'm studying while I wait for my Ritalin to kick in so I'm in the mood to interact with that topic (if you don't take ADHD medication I'd recommend you do this anyway, it makes you so much more productive and it's more enjoyable)

Listening to lectures at 1.75 speed with the transcript printed out in front of me so I can highlight and take notes

Supercook is a free website where you put down everything you have in your kitchen and it'll tell you what to make with what you have - keep it updated and you're fine

Having a list of about 30 easy dinners so I can just pick some for the week ahead, then copy-paste the ingredients and cross reference with my inventory on Supercook to make a grocery list

Doing my groceries online, more specifically adding things to the cart whenever I run out of them instead of trying to remember what I'm missing all at once

ELECTRIC PRESSURE COOKER I love this thing so much it's unreal

Having a scented candle and mood lighting that means it's time to shower

Watching videos in the shower, even if I can't hear them

After washing my hair and using leave in, I put it up in a T shirt so it doesn't get all over my face when I'm washing my body

Shower chair in case I get tired, bored, dizzy, or need to put my leg up to wash it

I don't like flipping between pages when journalling so having only a year in pixels page to fill out (+ my time blocking notebook but that's another thing)

Electric toothbrush with a timer, water flosser, my whole toothbrushing thing is as streamlined as possible because I hate doing it

Somatic dance before bed to tire me out and destress from the day at the same time - I've noticed it takes me way less time to get to sleep when I do this

[futfemfantasies]

Semi final surprises \\ Alexia Putellas x Williamson!reader

Tensions are high in the Arsenal dressing room as the do or die game is less than an hour from starting. I tie the last knot in my laces before walking out with the rest of the girls to start warm ups. After a brief warm up with the rest of the starters, I sit down in the cubby next to Leah’s and notice a few notifications from Alexia. Before each game, Alexia always sends multiple voice messages. I play the first one and hear the thick Spanish accent come through the headphones.

Hi my love, I know you have the headphones on. I will send you the voice messages.

You will do so well today. Play your heart out, score some goals and take it in.

I love you and I am so proud of you superstar. I’ll see you in the next few days when you visit.

I smile at Alexia’s English and send a reply. My phone goes back into my bag just as Leah bumps my leg to gesture that it’s time to go.

I quickly change into the game jersey and line up with the rest of the girls. I see the Lyon team on the other side of the hallway and I move behind Caitlin in line. I feel a small hand in mine and see a young girl about 6 or 7 years old smiling up at me. I talk to her for a little bit before we go out to the bustling crowd that is the Emirates.

As we all wait for the formalities to conclude, I notice my mascot shivering slightly. I ask her if she wants my jacket and she nods. I take it off and wrap it around her shoulders. A small thank you was said and hug in return made some fans cheer at the interaction.

A short huddle later and the second semi final of the champions league is underway. With Wolfsburg shockingly beating Barcelona a few days ago, the Spanish team will fail to get their three-peat this year. A whistle pulls you out of your thoughts and your teammates start to get into position.

Lyon wasted no time in attacking, taking most of the possession from the first whistle. The Arsenal attackers, Alessia, Caitlin and I drop back into defence while trying to regain the ball to take up field. The deadlock breaks just before halftime with Lyon scoring the first goal. As the French team celebrated, Kim pulled us all into a huddle to motivate us for the rest of the half.

As I walk back with Alessia, I look back and catch Leah’s eye. I give her a slight nod and returned one as to silently say stay calm and focused. No other chances came Arsenal’s way in the first half so I walk into the locker room with my head down, about to give up. After a pep talk from Jonas and a motivational boost from Kim, the team were ready to face Lyon for another half.

As both teams jogged out, Alexia weaved her way through the crowd to get to her seat. Of course her plane had to be delayed and then no taxis or Ubers were at the arrivals part of the airport. Luckily, you had shown Alexia how to watch your games so she didn’t miss anything on the way over to the stadium. As Alexia got on a flight straight after a day of interviews and photoshoots, she came without any luggage. Excusing herself as she moved past people, Alexia finally reached her seat.

In the 70th minute is when the dynamic shifted in half. I try to sneak past Vanessa Gillies but she slide tackles straight into my ankle. I fall to ground screaming and the medic rushes over. I get a bandage wrapped around my ankle as there’s a decent cut. I put everything back on and the game resumes. I see a Lyon player get organised for the free kick, in a pretty good spot and I give Steph a look and hold up 2 fingers for a tactic.

Steph kicks the ball and I watch as it comes towards me. I quickly look in front of me and see Leah so I jump on her slightly to get a better angle on the ball. The ball flicks into the bottom corner of the net.

Equaliser. 1-1.

I run to the corner flag and turn around to be pulled into a group hug. The roar from the crowd was deafening as we regrouped and focused on the remaining 20 minutes.

As time was counting down, I was getting exhausted but I knew I had to keep going. Leah makes a crucial slide tackle and quickly spots me near the box. She kicks the ball over the Lyon defenders and with pinpoint accuracy, it lands on my foot, making it a perfectly timed volley. The familiar swoosh of the net is all I can hear as I drop to my knees in disbelief. Leah was the first on the floor with me and other teammates soon followed.

“You did it y/n/n”

“Games not over yet Lee”

In a matter of minutes the final whistle blew and Lyon bodies fell to the floor in distraught. Legs are exhausted, minds numb. While around the pitch Arsenal teammates and staff were jumping, screaming and crying all at the same time. Leah and I found each other first, hugging for longer than usual. This was our moment. One we’ve been waiting for since we were at the academy. After shaking hands with Lyon, the team and staff went on a victory lap. Walking with Leah and Steph, waving into the crowd when someone caught my eye.

“No way”

There was the love of my life wearing a red and white scarf and of course a Barça baseball cap. I sprint over to Alexia with a wide smile on my face. Alexia opens her arms and I jump the barricade to get into her arms, the place I call home.

“You came. I thought you had photoshoots and media” I say as my voice is raspy due to yelling in the game.

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss this for the world mi amor”

It has been speculation for a while now that you and Alexia are dating, with both of you posting subtle hints on instagram stories and posts. This moment just confirms all the fans TikTok edits and endless stalking they have done. Without another thought or care in the world, I grab Alexia’s cheeks gently and kiss her gently.

“I love you” I murmured against Alexia’s lips.

Alexia smiled as she replied “Te quiero más”.

I got called over by Katie and Caitlin as the group stopped staring and continued their victory parade around the ground. Alexia nudged me to go and said she’d wait here when I finish.

As I walk around the ground, nothing can beat this feeling. I have my sister and best friend with me in the final and the love of my life is by my side cheering me on. How can it get better than this?

[pitchsidestories]

coming home II Guro Reiten x Reader

masterlist I word count: 1190

summary: Guro and you can't wait to be reunited again after you both were away with your Norwegian and Swedish national team.

a/n: Hi, it's inspired by this request here, we hope you have fun with this little, fluffy oneshot.

“Earth to Guro.”, Caroline Graham Hansen spoke visibly frustrated to her fellow Norwegian teammate who was typing and smiling at her phone, but not taking any notice of the rest of the group which was very unlike her.

It was a beautiful day in their home country and yet Guro wished herself back to the rainy streets of London, where you and her would lay in your shared bed, listening to the noise the raindrops made against the large windows.  

“Huh?”, she glanced puzzled at the Barcelona player.

“We’re here.”, Caroline reminded her.

“Sorry, just texted my..”, the Chelsea forward started to apologize.

Maren who was the most familiar with her and the smile she had on her lips while thinking about you interrupted her softly:” Your girlfriend? You’ll see her soon enough.”

“Ugh.”, the Barcelona footballer groaned.

“Don’t ugh me, Caro.”, Guro laughed.

“You’re so in love, it’s disgusting.”, Caroline shrugged.

“Ignore the black cat, Guro. We’re happy you found each other.”, Ada threw in smiling amused.

“We’re happy.”, the other player repeated scoffing.

“All of us except for Caro.”, Ingrid corrected the prior sentence of the Lyon footballer.

“Thanks, girls. I’m really happy with her.”, Guro beamed.

“We get it.”, Caroline muttered, eager to play.

The game went not in the favour of the Norwegians, they lost and played under their own high expectations. The Chelsea forward was relieved once she was able to get to her hotel room and video call you.

 “Can’t wait to see you again, the match was awful.”, she confessed.

“Not that long anymore, one game to go.”, you tried to cheer her up, you were away with your Swedish national team.

“I know.”, Guro admitted.

“You can do this, captain Guro.”, you assured her. Unfortunately, you weren’t alone in your room, Magdalena and Fridolina were sitting opposite of you, giggling at your motivational speech.

“What’s so funny.”, your girlfriend wanted to know.

“Magda, Frido, shut it., you scolded your teammates, before turning back to her, sorry min älskling.”

“Thanks.”, Guro replied.

“Better, right?”

“Yes, a lot.”, she confirmed. Afterwards you continued to talk about your days.

Way to soon, Magdalena reminded you:” It’s dinner time.”

“Damn it, she’s right.”, you cursed.

“Why are your teammates so horrible.”, your girlfriend questioned grinning.

“They are the worst.”, you agreed jokingly.

“Lies, you love us!”, Fridolina protested.

“Yeah, sometimes.”, you answered truthfully.

“See?”, the Bayern Munich defender gave you a winning smile.

“Bye, Guro, hope the grandmas here fall asleep early, so we can continue talking later.”, you said goodbye to her with a heavy heart.

“I hope so too.”, Guro said.

Of course it was raining when you arrived back in London.

Dragging your suitcase behind you, you opened the door to your shared apartment.

“I’m home!“, you called, knowing that Guro must be somewhere. She had let you know via text that she would arrived a few hours before you.

You kicked off your shoes and left your suitcase in the middle of the floor.

Guros face appeared in the doorway leading to your kitchen: “Finally!“

“God, I missed you.“, you smiled at the sight of your girlfriend and jogged over to her to jump into her arms.

Guro, being a similar height as you, almost lost her balance but regained it in the last moment before you both would have tumbled to the floor.

“Missed you too.“

She kissed your cheek before putting you back down.

You sat down at the kitchen table. Without a word, your girlfriend placed a cup of water and a freshly brewed coffee in front of you.

You marvelled at the thoughtfulness. It was exactly what you needed after a long flight.

As soon as she sat down with you, her own coffee in hand, you asked: “How was camp? Tell me everything.“

“Good, really.“, Guro answered plainly but you could tell from the way her face lit up that it actually had been a good camp for her.

You nodded, satisfied with her answer: “That’s great. What kind of food would you like to order? The usual? The bill is on me.“

Your girlfriend smirked at the quick change of topic: “Someone’s in a good mood.“

“Yeah, we won both of our games.“, you explained laughing.

“I saw that.“

“Did you see my goals too?“, you asked innocently while typing on your phone. The order from your favourite restaurant was quickly placed.

“Of course, I did.“

“Pretty nice, huh?“, you bragged jokingly.

Guro wrinkled her nose, rather unimpressed, and shrugged: “They were okay.“

“Only okay?!“, you repeated, feigning offense.

“Yes, only okay.“

You leaned over, poking your girlfriend in the side repeatedly. You knew how ticklish she was.

“Hey, stop that!“, she protested, trying to protect her torso from you.

“Stop what?“, you played dumb, continuing to annoy her until she burst out laughing.

“This!“

“Oh, that.“

“Stop it!“

You finally backed off, giving her time to catch her breath: “Okay, okay.“

“Thanks.“, she sighed.

The doorbell interrupted you anyway.

“Oh, our dinner is here.“, you announced excitedly and stood up.

Your stomach growled as you took the food inside. The smell of take-away immediately filled the kitchen.

“Finally.“, Guro said, impatiently opening the styrofoam boxes.

You took the first bite and hummed: “Delicious as always.“

“I missed this food so much.”, the Norwegian admitted grinning. The varieties of meals you could order in London would never fail to amaze your girlfriend and yourself.

“Same but more than me?”, you replied in a teasingly tone.

“Yes, of course.”, Guro joked before taking another bite.

“What do you want to do now?”, you changed the topic swiftly.

“Like right now?”, the brunette lifted an eyebrow.

“Yes.”, you nodded enthusiastically. Being back with the person you loved most reenergized you like nothing else did.

“Spend time with you.”, she answered genuinely.

Later you both laid together lazily on your sofa and Guro called your Chelsea captain with a smirk on her face:” Hi Millie.”

“What’s up?”, the blonde responded.

“Y/n and I are busy doing gay things and we might not be at training tomorrow.”, the Scandinavian explained.

“Too much information.”, Millie giggled.

“Just letting you know.”, Guro told her friend innocently.

“I’m not covering for you tomorrow.”, the Defender announced determined.

“Please, you owe me that.”, your girlfriend reminded her sweetly.  

“Fine, but don’t ever call me again.”, Millie groaned dramatically.

“Thanks, see you.”, Guro responded gratefully.

“Bye.”, with these words they hang up.

“Gay things?”, you snorted once she has ended the call and looked into your eyes again.

“Yes, we have all night.”, the midfielder winked at you.

“And tomorrow as well.”, you remembered.

“Yes, I’ve to make up for the time we didn’t see each other.”, Guro proclaimed.

“Come here.”, you said beaming, opening your arms for a hug which she happily accepted.

With closed eyes you whispered into her ear:” You’re home now.”

Both of you knew you felt comfortable everywhere in the world, but home to you wasn’t a place, it was each other. Coming home meant returning to one another and it was one of the best feelings in the world.

[xaer1s]

ㅤㅤ ───​ pay the price ⸝⸝

[ 박성화 ] ─── COLLEGE AU!PARK SEONGHWA​ x FEM!READERㅤ·ㅤSYNOPSIS it started as a regular study session, where he studied and you didn’t, except it ended with being kicked out of the libraryㅤ·ㅤWORD COUNT 2.7kㅤ·ㅤWARNINGS nsfw!!, oral (m receiving), dom!hwa, est. relationship, pet names, hwa is mean, voyeurism (and yeah they’re caught. in the library), dirty talk, cursing, cum eating, fingering, hwa is a pusher!!, hwa is kinda using reader, not really proofread, lmk if missed anything & sorry for possible mistakes!!

금 hi sweeties, I wanted to try pushing myself with the word count now. imo the way i write now is just screams that i don't have patience. So this time i took the effort to not actually delete the draft once i didnt work on it and i just waited for motivation. i kinda rushed it and its just a bunch of everything but i hope you like it! I also know this is VERY not seonghwa but the original plan was about him anyways so i dediced to keep him! / check out NAViGATiON ・・・・・; ✉︎ message me on: @smnxi ; please reblog and follow if you like my posts! do not spam likes, or you'll be blocked, sorry! ♡

if you'd like to be a part of my taglist, fill out this form, dm me or comment on ONLY the rules post!/ requests open!

You sat in the library, yet again, hunched over a really thick science book. The lines and words blur together, making it difficult to even keep your eyes open. You rested your head in your palms to prevent it from slumping onto the wooden table with a loud bang. A frustrated sigh escaped your lips as your feet bounced up and down, shaking the table vigorously without you realizing it.

As the warm sun dipped below the horizon, the small corner where you had retreated became undeniably uncomfortable. Your head spun from all the information you were eager to absorb in just a few hours, leaving your tired brain overwhelmed.

In any other setting, you would’ve found it endearing and beautiful to just gaze out the window at sunset, having its rays warm up your face and skin, coating you too in the gentle goldish color. Instead, squirming on a worn-out padded chair that was probably as old as you, your back aching and eyes burning while you scanned the pages.

Your index and thumb fingers fidgeted with the corner of the book, wishing deep in your heart you could just rip it straight out, crumple it up, and have it land in the trash bin. With great effort, you managed to turn the page instead, thinking twice if you really wanted to continue for the day or rest with the possibility of the failing your test.

Seonghwa, on the other hand unfortunately for you was nearing the end of his patience.

You both agreed on a small, shared study session, agreeing to help you out at the price of just enjoying your company while going through books. Your boyfriend sent frustrated glares and glances towards you which flew over your head like air.

“You should’ve said no.” His nose is buried in the books, not even sparing a single glance at you. When you don’t answer because the confusion blocks your brain, he continues, “To come with me to the library. Especially if you’re not gonna do anything useful.” Seonghwa placed his chin on his palm, his eyes judging you as one of his eyebrows arched up.

“You’re on the page you were like.. 23 minutes ago.” He said matter of factly and you were indeed.

“Yeah, because you said you’d help.” You quibbled further. “And I’m currently, waiting for that, help, Seonghwa.” He responded with a long, drawn-out "oh," clearly laced with sarcasm.

“Let’s see it then,” he said suddenly, a determined glint in his eye. He quickly adjusted his soft silver hair, tucking it behind his ear before encroaching on your personal space.

His gentle lashes fluttered prettily, seeming almost majestic under the rough white lamps. Deep brown orbs shone as he caught up on your topic, for the sake of tutoring you.

Out of the blue, his gentle voice called out, so caring and soothing but with a certain firmness. “You’re staring, sweetheart.” Two long fingers grazed the side of your face, barely even touching when a sudden sharp feeling of discomfort shot through you.

As his fingers grazed the side of your face in a fleeting touch, a sharp discomfort jolted through you as he playfully pinched your plush cheeks, tugging your head slightly to the side. A groan escaped your lips and your eyes snapped shut.

“What a shame that those beautiful orbs are not staring at the sheets.” A small peck soothed the stinging red spot on your skin, his hand straying over you in a faint caress. “Should we search for another book to keep my baby’s interest up, hm?”

And that did the work for you to follow him. Giving him the faintest attitude was quickly melted away every time tenderness crept into his tone. Practicing the greatest patience in your company was a challenge but with devotion, he learned how to control you just the right way.

Your eyes brushed over the titled edge of the books, but in reality, they did not show care even for the descriptions. Getting to the end of the scientific section at an incredibly fast pace. You rushed forward while the boy just sauntered behind you, pocketing his hands.

He was paying attention to you, knowing you couldn’t care less about finding a better book to study from.

“Nothing much here…” you mused, feigning a disappointed sigh. But in truth, you couldn’t be happier—this meant you might finally escape the confines of your study session, right?

However, the moment you turned your head to leave, you were met with dark eyes locking onto yours, the warmth of his breath fanning against your skin, igniting a blush that crept up your cheeks. Startled, you jumped slightly before quickly recomposing yourself, a faint chuckle escaping your lips in an attempt to mask the sudden rush of emotions.

“What?

“Keep this nonchalant attitude up and you’re walking out on that door..” He paused, nodding towards the brown, wooden exit door at the other side all while keeping the stern eye contact. “With your throat fucked raw.”

He wasn’t shy about his words apparently since there wasn’t a soul near you so what could even hold back his filthy tongue?

“I didn’t work for shit. For you to laze your ass around after I lectured you, hm?” Seonghwa asked with a small tilt of his head, just when you were about to pat him on the shoulder for his great pun and let out a good cackle together. “Now knock your sense into your small brain.. or I will.” He warns. “But there won’t be much thanks in it.”

This side of him is rare for to let it seep through his always collected, warm, and charming façade. You just stared into his eyes dumbly for a long enough period for you to feel his words sink in and their seriousness this time.

A nervous laugh made itself out of you, your attention darting around behind him -anything- to avoid his staring. The atmosphere felt intimidating now but mostly embarrassing, he didn’t do anything to force you to look at him, knowing you’d have to do it yourself in the end.

“You think I’m joking, do you?”

“Joking- haha… You’re not?..” the small, forced giggle halted down into an embarrassing silence, you sucked a breath through your teeth to ground yourself with a nod. “I knew that.”

“You did, my sweet, sweet smart girl?..” The outside voices faded away when he put a hand on top of your head, rubbing your hair just a bit to ruffle it before letting it rest on the back of your neck, urging you to close the remaining gap by yourself.

“Just like any sane person.. I charge for my services, too.” Added against your lips, breathing the same air, he pulled you into a rough kiss. His tongue darted out to lick at the seam of your mouth demanding entry which you gladly provided not showing an ounce of resistance.

“So be good and work hard for those grades, just like I work to tutor you.” By placing pressing on your shoulders with his arms, your knees buckled to the floor.

Little to no use with your resistance, there you were, kneeling right in front of his bulging crotch. “Hwa-”

“Shh.. do you see that?” He questioned, cooing while his own eyes took a look at his straining erection. “Yeah, that’s what you’ll take care of.”

“In the library-”

“In the fucking library, y/n.” He made you bite back on the remaining words of your sentence. Right hand fisting in your hair, the other roughly working to get rid of his annoying piece of clothing, pushing his pants just below his waist in the company of his boxers.

“Hurry.” He instructed, not-so-patiently waiting for you to take hold of him, stroking him to life. You looked unsure about your actions, almost as if you’d stop at any moment which you would’ve loved to, except the man’s hold on you didn’t let you budge. With small licks up the underside of his shaft with the flat of your tongue, you felt a twitch, his member finally growing in size.

Your hair held back in a makeshift ponytail, for some reason your muscles just seemed to resist at all cost. Seonghwa’s hold was a lot stronger, digits pulling on your roots and digging into your scalp, while his other hand held a firm grip on his heavy, pulsing cock.

“C’mon now.. we agreed, be a good girl already..” he tutted, intently watching as he smeared the white droplets oozing from his tip across your plump, parted lips.

Your heart hammered in your ears wildly, what if someone heard you or worse -saw you-. Seonghwa didn’t even bother to drag you to the restrooms, choosing a perfect spot behind the bookshelves. Still, passersby people could clearly take out to scene before them if they even catch a glimpse of what happening through the cracks between the books arranged carefully, yet messy enough to reveal everything-.

The man looked down at you like you were some kind of doll, exclusively for his pleasure. His actions and words are not gentle in any kind of way. Still, gazing into his orbs, his warmth embracing your body just made your cunt clench and weep under the confinement of your clothes.

His gentle fingers now holding your locks with anything but mercy, the more you try to pull away the more he’s pushing.

Paranoid, taking a swift look around, accidentally making eye contact with someone.

Crap, if they didn’t know before, they must know now. Hurriedly, you tapped on his waist, abruptly shaking your head and pleading for Seonghwa to let you up. He didn’t.

“Did they notice us?..” He drawled, voice strained with pleasure. You blushed, a mix of arousal and embarrassment flushing your cheeks. “You need that help, hm?” You did indeed, agree with a subtle nod. “Then just shut up..” He tipped his head back with a quiet snicker, the next groan higher with a few pitches. They didn’t just notice, they heard now.

Seonghwa didn’t care less if you couldn’t visit this library because of your dirty acts as it results in you being banned or just not going back anymore and the burning shame of being seen.

The delicate locks framing his face now swayed with every thrust his hips slammed into your used mouth. Throat aching and your lips pulsing. Feeling the salty droplets on your tongue, you knew he was close, he looked back down at your kneeling form. His hand which wasn’t occupied with moving your head, cupped the side of your face, the thumb gently brushing over your heavily squeezed down eyelids, encouraging you to open them.

“Look at me, doll..” Hwa called out as you weren’t able to comprehend the hint. Your ears ringing and your brain is a complete mush. When you locked gazes, a devilish grin stretched on his face at the exquisite sight of you so fucked out, salty tears stung the corner of your eyes, throat contracting around his invading member, eliciting a muffled cough.

Pearly white droplets dripped on your chin, creating a hardly audible thud sound as it came into contact with the black carpeted floor underneath. Gulping down the generous load, swiftly wiping away the excess.

“They caught-”

“Like I give a single fuck..” Tucking himself back in no time, sweeping his clothes with his palms across his body, he was ready to go, not like you. You, who still sat on your knees, your throat sore, body flushed hot.

Letting out a drained sigh, he gave a small tap under your chin with his middle and index finger. “Collect yourself.” You seemed so shameful, embarrassment filling your veins, your hands and legs trembling just the right amount.

The fire you saw a few seconds ago completely dissipated into thin air, two hands hooked under your arms to roughly make you stand back on your own two legs.

“Seonghwa- we- we really should go..” You stammered, head turning left and right, leaning to peek past the shelves if the person was still around. There was no one, yet you couldn’t shake off the feeling of what if they came back and you’d get into trouble?

“No.” He responded curtly. “Not until I say we do. Now turn.”

“What-”

“Just turn the fuck around.” And before you could even do as he said, he handled you himself, your face coming into contact with the wall, keeping yourself on your palm. “Is my baby this dumb? She doesn’t even understand the basics.. poor little girl..” Leaning in right next to your ear, blowing a warm stream of breath on your nape, having goosebumps rise all over you.

He soothed the rough action of his left hand on the back of your head, gripping your hair to push forward, making you squeeze your face against the cold surface, a whined out disagreement leaving you.

“Either you gonna stay quiet or everyone in here will know what we’re up to, your choice.” Stay quiet? What for? What is he gonna-

A strangled gasp escaped you, his right hand shoving itself inside your pants, cupping your sex through your underwear. The heel of his palm and fingers rubbing insistently as the heat between your legs slowly.

“You want to go? Like this? What a whore. You’d enjoy making a mess of your goddamn panties in the streets, huh?” His index finger pulled the soft cotton away to the side, three pads of his digits easily gliding through your folds, your slick helping the slide.

He snickered at your pleasured expression, cheeks dancing in deep red and your brain unable to form a coherent sentence at this point, —so he pushed you further— his soft pads wrote down shapes on your clit gently before delivering a small pinch to the sensitive bud, making you purposefully moan out just a bit louder, mingling with your barely audible pants.

Feeling the pulsing grow between your legs, he sneakily pushed two fingers inside your sopping hole, while his thumb continued the maddening circling.

“So pretty.. do you think others hear you too?” Just the simple thought of what he said was true, had you clench around him and causing him to let out a low groan at the feeling. “Does this make you excited?”

There was no point in denying it to him; you gave Seonghwa a small nod as his left hand moved to encircle your waist the moment he sensed your hips twitch and struggle. His thrusts quickened, the silence between the white walls was so loud, the squelches hearable like screams, yet you didn’t care. You hopelessly chased your orgasm, which Seonghwa eagerly pushed you towards, having your knees trembling.

“You’re doing so good, darling.” Pumping faster and eliciting higher-pitched sounds from you: his biggest concern was now you. Free hand pressing on your mouth in a futile attempt to keep your moans at bay, eyes rolled back and closing to embrace the pleasure. Your walls clenched and fluttered around his fast pumping fingers.

“So close, baby.. let go for me..” He encouraged in faint whispers between nibbles on your neck, curling his fingers just right and hitting the spot, sending you hurtling over the edge, making you shake apart in his arms as he worked you through your high steadily.

When the intense waves of pleasure faded, he was quick to free his hand from your panties, digits prodding at your mouth.

“C’mon, clean it.” Before you could protest, he simply pushed in his fingers, waiting to have your tongue swirl around them but seeing him not letting up, you did what he asked for.

Now, after he made an even bigger mess in your underwear, calming yourself by taking a few, deep breaths to steady out your panting, Seonghwa quickly dragged you back to the table you carelessly left minutes ago, gathering both of your stuff and throwing his bag over his shoulder while carrying yours. Your heads hung low, feeling a few pairs of eyes on you burning holes in your back.

In a few strides, you stepped through the door, shutting it close behind him before exchanging a glance of not coming back to this place, ever.

plagiarism is strictly forbidden, do not translate my works, copy them or publish them on another site ; @xaer1s

[hearts4werka]

NNN day 10 | Newborn Miracle

summary: the time has finally come, you and chris are going to become parents. Both of you are filled with joy and nervousness at the same time since this is a big step both of you have to make now and you’re ready more than ever for the adventures that lay ahead of you.

warnings: none, just child birth but besides it’s just chris becoming a proud father

authors note: this idea is so adorable I love the concept of babydad!chris and I need more people to write about it, so this is your sign to go do that rn 🫵 luv yall sm and hope y’all enjoy this one

no nut november | masterlist | guestlist

The sun had now began to rise, casting a golden color across the sky as I sat nervously in the passenger seat of Chris’s car, my hand clutching the hospital bag like it was a lifeline. Today was the day we had waited for, the day our lives would change forever. After months of preparing ourselves, endless conversations and debates about baby names and painting the nursery a soft shade of orange we were about to meet our little one. Chris was driving with a focused gaze I hadn’t seen before, his knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel.

Every so often he would spare glances at me, his blue eyes shining with excitement. “Are you ready for this?” he asked, his voice being a mix of joy and disbelief at whats going to happen today. I turned to him, my heart racing as I speak. “I think so. I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life,” I replied, feeling butterflies fluttering in my stomach. The thought of actually becoming a parent was almost hard to believe . When we finally arrived at the hospital, the adrenaline kicked in.

We rushed through the automatic doors, our hearts pounding all together. The bright lights and the familiar smell of sanitary welcomed us as we checked in and were hushed towards the maternity section. The atmosphere was filled with anticipation but not just ours but from families around us, each with their own maternity story. After what felt like forever, it was time for me to be called in. Chris held my hand tightly as we walked together into the delivery room. My heart raced as I settled onto the hospital bed and feeling the cool sheets under me.

Nurses huddled around while preparing equipment for the delivery while Chris stood by my side, whispering soft words of motivation. Hours passed with the soft rhythm of contractions guiding us through the whole experience. Chris was never far from me and his presence felt like a warm blanket of comfort. He kept running his hands through my hair, his calming voice reminding me that we were in this together. “You’re doing amazing,” he softly whispered, his faith in me growing by the second. Finally, after what felt like an ongoing battle of will and strength, the moment arrived.

I could feel the overwhelming urge to push, and with each contraction, I used every ounce of strength I had left. In those intense moments, Chris’s eyes became my own. “You’ve got this, ma,” he reassured me, and I leaned into that support. With one final push and an intense surge of energy I didn’t know I had, we heard the most beautiful sound-our baby’s first ever cry. It was like music to our ears.

Suddenly, everything else faded away around us, the pain, the noise, the world outside. In that instant, all that mattered was the life that had just entered into our world. The doctor gently handed our baby to me, and my heart twisted with joy. I looked down and there they were, our little bundle of happiness in soft white blankets. Chris’s breath caught in his throat as he came closer with his eyes wide, filled with emotion all kinds of emotions. “Can I hold them?” he asked, his voice trembling with excitement. “Of course,” I smiled, shifting so he could take our baby.

Chris cradled our little one against his chest, and I watched as he radiated with pure love. He kissed their tiny forehead, an expression of shock shadowing his face. “You did it. You brought us this miracle,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion coming straight from the heart. Chris looked down at our baby as if they were the most precious treasure in the world. “I want to do skin-to-skin,” he said and I could see the excitement radiating from him. The nurses smiled approvingly and helped him gently remove his shirt, placing our baby against his bare chest.

The warmth of the moment hugged us as Chris’s skin touched our child’s delicate body. He looked at me, letting the little one into his now vulnerable heart. “Can you believe this?” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. Our little one squirmed, their little hand reaching for where Chris’s heartbeat lies. I could see a connection forming, a bond that would last a lifetime. Tears filled my eyes as I watched the two of the most important people in my life together.

It was a moment of pure beauty, one I will cherish forever. Chris looked at me and grinned, as his face radiated with joy. “We’re parents,” he said, still star struck, “and this is just the beginning.” In that room surrounded by the warmth of new beginnings, we held each other close, both over the moon and overwhelmed by all of it. Our family was here, and we were ready for the wonderful adventure ahead.

@hearts4werka

Guestlist!

| - @sturnsxplr-25 - @strnzzvsp - @luvvs4chriss - @sturniolosweetheart33 - @pussypie456 - @choclatestarfishwithahat - @venusxsturnio - @bagsbyclair0 - @sturnstvs - @dykes4chris - @hoe4matt - @cayleeuhithinknot - @strnilolover - @marrykisskilled - @phone4pills - @emely9274 - @cupiidk1lls - @lily-strnlo - @nicksgirlfriend - |

[silversinfinity]

Taste Of Your Own Medicine

*this is a fetish blog- non-fet blogs and minors DNI (no age in bio -> blocked)*

Fandom: J/ujutsu K/aisen

Spoilers: None

Pairing/AU: N/anaG/o, normal universe set during N/anami's Salary Man Era TM

Length: ~2k

Tags: sneeze fetish content, sickfic, sneezing via flu swab test, inducing, light contagion themes, mess

ANON, IT'S BEEN 84 BILLION YEARS... ARE YOU STILL OUT THERE 😭😭😭

It’s 5/7 for a few more hours here still, aka n/anag/o day!! So I’m taking it as a sign to kick myself in the ass and drop a little n/anag/o treat for you all 🤑 I loved writing this when I first started it, and then I lowkey forgot about it, and THEN couldn't find the document when I remembered it existed... 😭 it’s been a long journey for a mere 2k words, woof!

Fanfic Masterlist

It’s surely the flu. Surely. Anything else would feel far better than this. 

Far better than the brain fog, the lethargy, the massive pressure behind his eyes and sinuses. 

Far better than the fever that stole his sleep last night, left only to shiver, sweat. Too hot with a blanket, too cold without. 

And anything else would be far, far better than the body aches. That was the worst of all, the thing that dug the last nail into Nanami's personal coffin. Everything hurt, dull yet wickedly persistent- even the very hairs on his head weren't an exception. He didn't know hair was capable of hurting, and boy, he's finding it out the hard way.

And maybe, maybe, despite all that, it would all be far better, if not for the annoying weight currently clinging to Nanami’s shoulders.

“Get off of me.” Gojo only presses into him heavier, mocking the few inches of height he has on him.

“Come back to bed then,” Gojo whines in his ear. Nanami’s headache squeezes tighter at his temples.

He sighs, breath crackling unpleasantly in the lower depths of his lungs. Though grating, Gojo’s voice has never sounded so convincing. “Trust me, I wish I hadn’t left.” The misconduct in his lungs catches on the end of his words with a weak, wheezing cough.

It should motivate him, at least. The sooner he gets this done, the sooner he can go back to bed, and hopefully, sleep.

Gojo rests his head on Nanami’s shoulder, idly watching him tear open the plastic wrapping in his hands. “Why even bother testing?” he mumbles, cheek squished against him.

“I need proof to get time off.”

“Man, your job sucks.” 

“Thangks, Captain Obvious.” Nanami wishes again that he would stop talking, just so he didn’t have to hear himself reply. The congestion dragging his consonants down is unpleasant to his ears, only worse layered over the roughness of a sore throat.

While Gojo manages to hold his tongue, Nanami assesses the items below him. He hovers his hand above the test kit on the counter, with a long q-tip lazingly perched between two fingers. His eyes glaze over the instructions; this isn't the first time he’s ever taken such a test, but a refresher never hurts. 

… Whether looking at it actually helped refresh anything was contentious, however. The font and diagrams were muddy where they lay, only legible enough to jog his memory.

15 seconds in both sides, mix the end into the tube of fluid, place a few drops into the test strip, and then wait for the result that wouldn't surprise anyone with an ounce of common sense.

Easy enough.

…Sort of. Nanami’s eyes water the instant the cotton swab touches just inside one nostril. A sharp tingle radiates up into his sinuses and lingers. He dreads actually moving the thing, knowing it will only prod and tease at each swollen, sensitive nerve within. 

Simply holding it in place won't do him any good either, though. He does as instructed, swirling the cotton tip along the walls of his nasal passages in a circular motion. The urge to sneeze increases tenfold. Nanami scrunches the bridge of his nose, eyes squeezed in a tight, focused squint.

Gojo notices all of this, much to his dismay. “Don’t sneeze…” he sings into his ear. 

And Nanami nearly does. “HHdt-!” Tongue smacked to the roof of his mouth, he manages to withhold the urge from completely seizing him. But just barely. He blinks tears from his eyes. 

“Cand you please nod- guh…” Nanami is left with a lingering, even thicker congestion, if that's even possible. He should really blow his nose, except that he also really shouldn't, not until this test was over. 

The cotton swab dips into his other nostril- the one that's more sensitive of the two, because of course one of them has to be. It's the one Gojo has a better view of, too. Oh, joy.

Nanami’s breath catches almost instantly, only to release in an uncertain, tight exhale. “...hehh…” Gojo sees his abused nostril flare up and twitch, hiking upward as the entire bridge of his nose crinkled. Torturously, he swirls the cotton swab once, twice, three times. Hand trembling, breath shaking. The natural lines of his face turn more rigid to match his expression, barely holding it together. 

Don’t sneeze. Don't sneeze. Gojo’s earlier advice echoes in his head, much as he loathed it at the time. Just a few more seconds…

“That looks like it really tickles…”

It's a few more seconds too long, and Gojo’s urging is the final straw. “hhuH-!” Nanami gasps loudly, urgently, shuddering under the other sorcerer’s still incessantly pressed weight on him. That inward breath messily crashes into the main production- “hEHH’SHIEhh-! hEHHH’ZSHHieh-!” His shoulders jostle violently. His throat barks through the deepest parts of it, fully exposing the flu-centered trauma his vocal cords carry.

Spray sprinkles wet, grey dots in a random pattern on his shirt, baggy and soft to the touch. Gojo’s weight against him only lightens a little, although Nanami is too distracted to care or notice. “hhdh… hiH-!” Without opening his eyes, he draws up for a precursor to another sneeze. He clumsily grabs the collar of his shirt, ducking down within the fabric this time- “hiehHH’SCHFHH-!”

Oh, God.

“Oh. Bless you.”

Gojo says it like he's surprised to hear him sneeze. Nanami feels a vein threaten to bulge on his temple.

Pinching away any excess evidence with his shirt- he winces when the damp fabric touches back to his chest- Nanami re-emerges with a scowl no less irritated than before. In his other hand hovers the soiled cotton swab, having been yanked from his nose the second before disaster. 

He blinks away the stars that dance in his vision, wondering if it's possible to actually sneeze his brains out. The pain behind his eyes swells significantly, heightening his suspicions. Ugh.

He glances back down at the instructions. Right, next step. Into the tube the cotton swab goes, and Nanami swirls it, pushing against the sides of it. Just watching the motion stirs a tingle high in his sinuses, having not quite abandoned the sensation of the swirling motion.

Nanami glances at his watch after applying a few drops to the test strip. 6:51. He'd know by 7:06, then. 

Gojo watches him set his watch, cheek pressed into his shoulder. “Hm… I don’t see anything in those instructions about sneezing all over yourself?” he teases.

The vein from before does finally bulge on his temple. He’s almost- almost- exhausted enough to sigh another sigh and let it go. But there’s fifteen minutes he needs to kill before he can send his halfwitted boss a picture of this stupid test, and Gojo doesn’t sound like he’s going to become any less insufferable in that time. 

A taste of his own medicine might shut him up, or at the very least dent his pride. The unopened test kit resting on the counter is snatched into Nanami’s hand. He pauses for a dreadfully damp sniffle. “Gojo, I don't suppose you'd like to show me how to do this properly, then?”

Silence. Then, the other man tilts his head. “That’d be a waste of a good test, wouldn't it?”

“Haven't you considered that I might be contagious?” Might be, he says- more like definitely, absolutely. “Antivirals work better if you catch it early, you know.” Nanami maintains an even tone under the blanketing congestion.

“ …My Infinity protects me.”

Nanami pulls the new, fresh cotton swab from its packaging, careful not to touch the soft end. “You’re touching me right now, though.” And all this morning. And all last night. Satoru Gojo, the Strongest, Clingiest, Sorcerer in the world.

Said Sorcerer finds nothing to argue back with, instead speaking a short, “Fine.” Though his blindfold conceals his eyes, the pout on his lips is enough for Nanami to imagine the faux, pity-seeking look they’re wearing. Good thing he knows better than to fall for it.

Quicker than before, Nanami arranges the test tube and test strip on the counter top. Fresh cotton swab still in hand, Gojo actually steps back an inch when he faces him, showing reluctance. It's a rare emotion for him to express so physically.

He takes Gojo’s chin in one hand, holding him in place. The other man grimaces. “Hey, I can do it- myself, ya know…!”

”This is how Shoko would do it, and a doctor knows best. Chin up.” His hand grips a little firmer, and he tilts Gojo’s head up and towards himself. It’s an angle suited to expose his- and he hates to admit it- absolutely perfect nose. A straight, long bridge complimented by a set of narrow, symmetrical nostrils, all aesthetically framed by the dark fabric of his blindfold. 

Given a few minutes though, it won't look nearly as composed.

Nanami doesn’t bother to warn Gojo when he slips the cotton swab into his nose. The other man gasps reflexively, and the bridge shivers in protest. Nanami’s hold on his chin keeps him steady though. 

Any other day and he certainly wouldn't tolerate getting sneezed on- especially by someone who got on his nerves so regularly. But considering current circumstances, he can't find it in himself to care. He fully intends to change into a fresh pair of sweats after this test, not to mention that he's already dealt with enough of his own outbursts and fluids in the last 24 hours- what's a little more?

It would be worth the brief euphoria that came with getting payback, until his headache along with all the other bits of his misery tugged him out of that moment.

He changes the angle of the swab just slightly, softly bumping the shallow top wall of his nasal passages. Gojo swallows under Nanami’s palm. A circle is drawn along the rims of one nostril, and then another. His lips part to whine, but the sound melts into a telltale hitch.

“Nanhha- Nanami, whhait-hih-hihHH’SHIhh-!” Nanami doesn’t stop, nor does Gojo. “hyH’SHh-! ihhk‘SHieh-!” They’re fittish, rapid, and yet they drag out of him, like the last bit of juice squeezed from a lemon. He's trying to hold them back, but his willpower is faltering under Nanami's efforts and hurling out his throat instead.

A few more sneezes later, and Nanami gauges it's been long enough. He wordlessly removes the torture device from Gojo’s nose, and he sighs something between relief, exasperation, and another sneeze stopped in its tracks. He sniffles and tries to pull away, but Nanami tuts his disapproval.

“Still need to do the other side.” He doesn't allow Gojo so much as a spare breath to fight him on it. The nasal swab is already pressed to his septum, just inside the other nostril.

The tighter, desperate pinch of his eyebrows is visible even through his blindfold. Gojo’s lip quivers. He actually manages to hold it together this time- for the first five seconds.

Then…

“hih…hh, hihH-! hh…ghh-hiHH-! Hhp’TSHhh-! hihT’SHh-! Hh-hhH… HH’TShiew-! hY’ISHH-!”

His nostrils turn pink, shiny at the rims. Nanami ignores the mist settling on his wrist in progressively wetter qualities. It's generously soaking him when he decides again that he's done enough again, and he promptly wipes his hand on the leg of his sweatpants.

Gojo’s repeated sniffling, panting, and whining is mere background noise as he goes through the motions of this test.

“Nanamiiii… you're so meannn…”

Without taking his eyes off his watch to acknowledge Gojo’s Man-Child-like behavior, Nanami hands him a tissue. He always keeps a box close at a time like this. “Blow your nose, Gojo.”

There's still about 10 minutes left until he can actually consider this hassle taken care of. 

Well, one hassle taken care of, anyway. Gojo has regrettably pressed himself back against him, sinuses cleared into a now crumpled tissue. “Can we please just go lay back down now?”

That, Nanami could seriously consider. A dull throb trickles back up into his head, coupled with a growing feeling he'd swallowed glass in his throat. He may as well take Gojo up on this- standing here isn't doing him any good.

A fresh change of clothes and a new dose of ibuprofen later, and enough time has passed that Nanami’s watch goes off, once for his test, which he snapped a picture of, and then again a few minutes later.

Test results on Nanami’s read positive- no surprise. Test results on Gojo’s read negative- for now, at least.

[azrielbrainrot]

I Laugh Like Me Again... She Laughs Like You - Part 3

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Description: When your own identity is challenged you're forced to find an ally in what you thought was the most unlikely place.

Warnings: Angst, Memory loss, mentions of death

Word Count: 5950

Notes: Sorry for the wait but I had to map things out to answer all the questions I started in the previous chapters (set myself up there) and lack of motivation was kicking my ass. Still, I hope you enjoy!

Part 2 ○ Part 4

You were picking at the food on your plate as Azriel stared at you, looking like he'd rather feed you himself. As hungry as you were, everything was hard to stomach. You tried to tell him as much but had only been met with a scolding, he seemed extremely interested in your health. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he was content with watching you even if you never actually gave him anything. It seemed like the spymaster wasn't too preoccupied with the fact that he had caught you stealing from his High Lord.

Following your sudden breakdown, Azriel had managed to calm you down enough, insisting that you didn't talk about anything else until you ate and were ready for it. Your eyes still hurt and were probably puffy from the tears that had flowed not even an hour ago, and your head still ached, even if it didn't come anywhere close to the excruciating pain you felt before.

The same feeling as before still crawled under your skin, the same questions swirling around in your mind, but you managed to find your composure after the ache had transformed into something manageable and the tears had dried. Admittedly, you were a bit scared of prying into your mind and triggering the same reaction as before - it really had felt like your brain was trying to forcefully escape your skull.

You were still trying to make sense of everything, denying that you were missing important information wouldn't help you. There was no way Azriel was confusing you for someone else, not with the way your body reacted to him and the dreams you've had for far longer than you've been here. There was also the problem of you being a prisoner in this room, as nice and attentive as your prison guard has been there has to be a punishment waiting for you.

When your head felt like it was going to burst, you could swear someone else had barged into the room but you couldn't stay focused on it or hear what they were saying through your own desperate screams. You think you saw something red glinting, but didn't even make out anyone's form, your vision was too blurry. You're not even sure how many of them walked through the door. By the time you came to and calmed down it was only you and Azriel in the room again, and all you could feel was his arms around you, grounding you.

You bite down on another small piece of sausage, arranged as if they were meant to feed a child - you hadn't seen him cut them but you know it has to be his work - as you remembered how desperate he sounded in that moment. You're not sure if the soothing words he whispered in your ear were meant for you or for himself, he was just short of begging you to be okay. It was a little embarrassing to think about how fragile he had seen you in that moment but it was even worse remembering how intimately he held you.

Looking up at Azriel, you're not surprised to meet his eyes, they haven't left you for longer than a second, it's like he's scared you'll disappear if he looks away. You can still see the concern swirling in the beautiful hazel.

You had so many questions, knew he had even more, but you weren't sure where to even begin. Any hope of him starting to talk was evaporating faster with every second. He had told you he wouldn't bring anything up until you were ready but you thought he'd at least ask about the robbery, start off easy. You couldn't push your doubts aside any longer, it felt like you were both playing a part, ignoring the elephant in the room.

“Azriel?” His name triggers the same reaction every time you say it. You might have to go to a healer if you survive this, having your heart fluttering so often can't be healthy.

“Yes?” He leans closer letting his wings pull in closer to his body, ready to give you his undivided attention.

You've noticed how his wings move with him and can give you small clues on what he might be feeling sometimes, like a cat's ears, perking up or dropping with his emotions. The same happens with his shadows really, moving towards you when they're interested, like a tail you suppose.

“There's something wrong.” His eyes open wide and he's on his feet before you can even blink, standing over you and reaching out for your hand. That might not have been the best way to start.

“What's wrong?” He holds onto your wrist, feeling for your pulse. “Does it hurt again?”

“No, nothing hurts,” you try to calm him down, cheeks slightly flushed. “I mean this.” You gesture between the two of you, hoping he's aware of the terrified expression on his face. “You're worried about me.” He visibly relaxes at that, understanding you're not physically hurting again.

“Of course, I am.” He sits on the side of the bed, never letting go of your wrist but holding onto it a little softer, drawing circles with his thumb over your skin. You're not even sure if he's doing it on purpose, or if it simply comes naturally.

“Why would you be?” You have an idea of the answer, he's already made it more than clear that he knows you very well. “I thought you'd be guarding me to make sure I didn't escape but you've been taking care of me instead.”

His eyes roam over your desperate face, taking notice of every expression you make. He's probably scared of saying something that will send you into the same state as before, clawing at your head to stop, but you can see how much he wants to tell you, to stop pretending.

“You're my wife,” he admits, a small smile playing on his lips right after, like saying the word is enough to make him happy, and looks down at his hand still wrapped around your wrist, running his thumb down the veins to the palm of your hand, loosely holding it instead.

“I don't…” You thought there had to be some sort of romantic relationship between you and him, or the person he thinks you are, but you didn't expect him to say wife. “I've never been married.” You never even thought it would be a possibility with your job.

Him thinking you're his wife definitely answers a lot of questions, mostly the reason why you aren't in a dark dungeon after what you've done to them, but it just opens up a whole other box of chaos.

You set the plate aside, knowing you can't keep any more food down with the way the conversation has to go. You wish you could just crawl into your own bed, in your own home and wait until all of this mess passes. Running a hand down your face, you steel yourself, recognizing you need to get to the bottom of this, not only for your sake but his as well. Whatever was at play here was larger than you could have imagined.

“I don't remember you at all, Azriel,” you admit. He just nods, almost pouting, without looking away from your hand still clutched in his. “But I've dreamt about you.” He perks up at that, surprised eyes darting up to meet yours.

“I dream about you almost every night,” he admits softly, a reddish tint covering the tips of his ears.

“If I'm supposed to be your wife, should I be offended that it's not every night?” The lame joke does nothing to ease your nerves, as you intended, but the blinding smile he rewards you with certainly makes the next words easier to come out.

“What you called me before… that's not my name,” you continue slowly, “My name is Maya.”

“Maya,” he tries it out but the discomfort is obvious on his face. To your surprise, you don't like how it sounds coming from him either, while every other word he utters sounds like honey.

“I know that's my name. I know I'ver never been here or met you before,” you explain, “I know I never married you either. I can account for every year of my life, there are no gaps in my memories. You're not in any of them, neither is this house,” you look into his eyes the whole time, squeezing his hand slightly, wanting him to feel your sincerity, “but there's something wrong.”

He studies your face with an unreadable expression. If this whole situation is hard for you to wrap your head around, you can't imagine what it is like looking in from the outside. The only reason you believed him was because of your body's response to him, but all he can see is a female who looks just like his wife yet doesn't recognize him.

His hand leaves yours as he takes the ring he was wearing off slowly, taking your hand and depositing it on your palm gently.

“What's this?” It's a simple silver ring, worn out from what you assume is years of training and fighting while wearing it. Your heart palpitations come back the longer you study it, you know it.

“My wedding ring,” he almost whispers, “You had yours when…” You look up at him and he shakes his head almost imperceptibly, “I don't have it.”

You nod and let it fall on your finger, in place of where your own wedding ring would be. It's too big on you, it would likely be too loose even if you had put it on your thumb, but you almost don't want to take it off. Goosebumps spread all over your body, your heart rate picking up.

“Do you feel anything?”

“I'm not sure I can explain it,” you breathe, not fully understanding the reaction your body has to him.

“Try me,” he insisted.

“Ever since I heard about this mission and stepped foot into this city, it feels like my brain is screaming at me to remember something really important but I can't,” you say, watching the way the wedding band hangs around your finger, “and when I put this ring on just now.” You hold up your hand for him to see, the light catching on it.

You look up at him before continuing, “When I first saw you. When you told me your name. When I… When I stabbed you.” Your eyes travel to his stomach, where an open wound had been just a few hours ago. “I feel a pain in my chest.” It makes itself known again as you think of the way his blood had dripped down your hands. “Holding the ring feels right. Saying your name feels right. But hurting you… didn't.” You take a deep breath in, knowing there's no going back, “So, as insane as this whole situation is, I think I believe you, Azriel.”

The admission lingers in the air as both of you feel its weight. Acknowledging the particular situation you've found yourselves in is only the beginning. Now you must try to understand what happened and how to fix things, if you want that. Part of recognizing what Azriel told you as the truth comes with accepting that some of your life was a lie, and, at this moment, you have no tangible evidence for what is real or not aside from the goosebumps you get when the male in front of you touches you. You don't even know who you truly are.

“If you say I'm your wife then what made me leave?”

“You didn't,” the hesitation is almost tangible in his tone, “I thought you were dead.” Your hand immediately shoots up to your neck, feeling the softened scar under your fingertips. The movement seems to break the dam holding his emotions in check, making everything flow out at once.

“I don't know what happened,” he lets go of you and stands up, running a hand through his hair and pacing around as he explained with an anguished voice, “It was a simple mission. We never found out how exactly but it looked like you were taken by surprise and attacked by bandits. My shadows told me they couldn't sense you so I went to meet you but when I got there all I saw was blood. There was so much blood.”

When he meets your eyes again you can clearly see the tears gathering in them, the pain that still lingers from recalling that moment.

“I looked for you. We all did. We searched in every corner of the world, I sent spies everywhere. We found the bandits and made them talk but when they left your body was still there and your throat was cut.” His wings droop, the bottoms of it touching the floor. Azriel looks defeated. “We thought you were dead. I tried denying it for a while but it came to a point where I couldn't anymore. But now you're here and I- Fuck. I should have kept looking. I shouldn't have given up so easily.”

“Azriel,” you call for him, bringing his attention back to you. The desperation and raw pain in his voice were breaking your heart. “Whatever happened wasn't your fault.”

“I should have found you,” he whispers, completely contrasting with his tone mere moments before.

“You thought I was dead.” The words are hard to form, and you can't linger on them too long. You always knew the injury you suffered was severe, that it had been near miraculous that you survived but finding out there were people out there that truly believed you were dead was chilling. “This whole situation still feels impossible, there's no way you could have known I was still alive.”

He nods at you, but you can clearly see he can't let go of it. The attentiveness and overprotection he's been showing you makes much more sense now. Azriel sits on the chair he has barely left since you were brought to this room. He seems to try to regain his composure, combing back the hair he had tousled and bringing his wings up closer to his body again. But his eyes don't meet yours like before.

You fall back against the headboard, the impact softened by the pillows he fluffled out for you, picking at his wedding ring still on your finger. You feel like you're going insane. Maybe letting the guild find you wouldn't be so bad, at least they'd put you out of your misery. Though it's hard to ignore the fact that they seem to be the ones who put you in this situation, letting you live a lie for almost a century.

“It's been a century since then,” you repeated aloud, “And you still…” Love me? You wanted to say, but that wasn't really you, not for now at least. You don't remember anything of your time together, or about yourself. Maybe the only thing that survived was your body. There's a possibility that the female he loved had actually died, that he'll never fully get her back even if you regain your memories.

“I told you,” the smile you witnessed earlier comes back to his face, even if with only half the prior intensity, “I dream about you almost every night.”

“This doesn't make any sense.” You had moved to sit cross legged over the covers, tired of laying in bed when your body wasn't even hurting. Nibbling on a chocolate cookie the House, who Azriel told you is sort of sentient, gave you.

“I know.” He had calmed down since his outburst, going back to what you assume is closer to his usual demeanor, though he might not always act the same as when his dead wife is sitting across from him. His shadows seemed to have relaxed as well, most of them had left him in favor of swirling around the room like smoke. “When I saw you in the living room, I thought you came back.”

“But I came to rob you instead.”

He lets out a chuckle, “I couldn't have imagined that in my wildest dreams.” His gaze turns a bit more serious before he adds, “my High Lord and High Lady want to speak to you.”

“I figured as much.” You were actually surprised they hadn't shown up yet, the sun was already close to setting. “Did you tell them you think I'm your wife?”

“They know. You and Rhys were friends too.”

The thought that you could be friends with a High Lord is almost laughable, but so was being married to his shadowsinger and yet the fluttering of your heart every time he speaks to you in that deep, soft voice of his doesn't lie.

You think for a bit, remembering the information you had been granted before coming on your mission. Rhysand, High Lord of the Night Court, the most powerful one in history and the bearer of one of the most sought-after and frightening abilities - daemati. It's said his mate, the recently turned fae, Feyre Archeron, shares the same talent.

“Is it true that he's a daemati?” He simply nods, knowing you're following his train of thought.

“You want him to look into my head.”

“He might be able to find out what happened to you,” he nods, “the reason you forgot me, forgot us.”

“And you're sure he'll want to help me after what I did? He looked pretty mad when I saw him last night,” you say as you chew on your lip.

Granting him passage into your mind might be more than a leap of faith. You've found it easy to talk to Azriel, to trust him, but you haven't met anyone else, and can't trust they won't want to hurt you. Azriel seemed to not care much about your initial reason for coming to the court or even what you did to him but you can't expect everyone to feel the same, even if they had been your friends a century ago. And a daemati could break you beyond repair, even just seeing their abilities in action has always left you unsettled.

“Rhys won't hurt you,” he tells you, his face showing he has no doubts about his words.

“It's not like I have much of a choice anyway,” you brush the crumbs off your nightgown, stretching your legs and moving until you are sitting at the edge of the mattress. It brought you closer to him, your knees brushing his, the feeling of the leather feeling oh so familiar against your bare skin, making your next words come out breathier than you wanted them to, “You can call them.”

Something flashes across his tantalizing eyes when he looks down at your bare legs, noting the change in your tone, but it disappears when he looks back at you, nodding softly and letting his eyelids shut as if to level himself. Some of his shadows come back to him and, as his silence prolongs, you realize he must be speaking to them in his mind, calling his High Lord just as you asked.

The pressure in the room changes as soon as he opens his eyes, the air getting harder to breathe. It's not as strong as what you'd felt the night before but the tamed magic is enough to have the hairs on the back of your neck stand, and a shiver to run down your spine. You truly hope Azriel is right about them.

Azriel stands just as the door opens to reveal his High Lord followed closely by his mate. His unreadable purple eyes study your stiff form, walking inside the room and letting Feyre close the door behind them. She seems more serene, not showing any obvious hostility towards you but you know not to underestimate the human who freed the fae of Prythian.

You stand when they stop in front of you, not letting fear make you appear weak. If they chose to hold you accountable for your actions you would accept their punishment head on.

The first word out of the High Lord's lips is the same name Azriel had called you before, and the same feeling of deja vu consumes you once more.

“Maya,” you correct. His head tilts to the side briefly, before looking over at Azriel who is watching the scene unfold warily.

“Well Maya,” his eyes meet yours again, “Are you going to explain why I've found you lurking around my house?” The venom was clear in his voice, but you expected as much.

“I was sent here on a mission,” you say as emotionlessly as you can, just like the guild taught you, “I was supposed to find an ancient book with a particular set of runes, it seems it belonged to your grandfather.” You hope the lack of information doesn't make you appear suspicious because it truly is the only thing the guild had deemed enough for you to be able to complete your mission. “Since I failed the mission, they've probably already sent assassins after me, in case I tell you or anyone about them.”

“No one is going to hurt you,” Azriel promises, anger rising at the mention of someone wanting to kill you.

“You were in the wrong place for that,” the High Lord responds after a moment, and watching Azriel's reaction. “The book is in the library under this House.”

“It doesn't matter now.”

“You're right, it doesn't. What I want to know is where you've been all these years and why you attacked my brother.”

The pressure in the room increased again but you could now see it was the result of him trying to hold his power down even though his temper was rising.

“Rhys,” his mate warns, but it falls on deaf ears, his striking eyes never leaving yours.

“I don't remember you or him,” you admit.

“So he's told me.” Rhysand didn't sound too convinced. “You won't mind if I check for myself right?” He barely made it sound like a question but you nod in answer all the same.

Black talons scrape along your mental walls as soon as you give him permission, you lower them for him, pushing everything the guild taught you aside, inviting the enemy straight into your mind. If they could see you now you would definitely be mocked and executed on the spot.

His presence is barely felt in your mind before a sharp pain takes your senses, similar to the one you'd felt before. You squeeze your eyes shut, hands moving to hold your head. Scarred hands are on you immediately, holding you up against a strong body before your knees meet the ground. As the talons retreat from your mind, the pressure lessens and you take a few deep breaths before opening your eyes.

When you manage to blink away the wetness making your vision blurry, you find the High Lord looking at you with wide eyes, remorse clear on his face and his mate holding onto his arm.

“What did you do to her?” Azriel's voice was rough with barely restrained anger.

The High Lord ignores him, looking into your eyes as he explains with a notably softer tone than earlier, “There is something blocking your memories. When I tried to bypass it… It hurt you.”

“What does that mean?” Your voice was scratchy, a dull ache lingering in your head. You lean away from Azriel and sit back on the mattress. No use trying to act tough, you're truly at their mercy.

“It means I can't access your memories for the time being,” the change in his demeanor would give you whiplash if the pain you were feeling gave way long enough for you to focus on anything else, “I've never seen anything like this, there's no way of knowing what it can do to you.”

“I think your memories aren't only being blocked,” he's still speaking directly at you but you can't really wrap your mind around anything at the moment, letting them discuss amongst themselves. “They're being overwritten at the same time.”

“That's why she forgot Azriel but remembers her life at the guild?”

“I've never heard of anything like that,” Azriel's voice sounds further away, you almost want to reach out and pull him back to you.

“Me neither,” the High Lord admits, watching your crouched form warily. “We'll have to ask Amren and research it in the library but it's the only explanation.” You find yourself nodding, even if you don't know Amren you understand the ancient creature might be able to help, if she wants to that is.

“At least your mental walls are still intact. They're the same ones I taught you to build.”

“No, I learned at the guild,” you finally look up at him, sweat still covering your forehead.

“There's still an open channel, like an open door for me to be able to talk to you.” So I can do this. You can't help but jump slightly at the sound of his voice in your mind, and the promise of a smile twitches on his lips. It doesn't go unnoticed that the talons moved a lot more carefully in your mind, almost tenderly.

“You're staying in this house until we can be sure you're not a threat.” His eyes move to Azriel's, an unimpressed look taking over his face at the scowl the shadowsinger sends him. “In the meantime you can fill Azriel in on everything you can about the guild. I want to know if there's a chance they'll try to attack us again.”

“We'll try to find any information on what is blocking your memories and keep you safe from the guild in exchange,” the High Lady adds, “It's a fair trade for both parties.”

You can't tell if she's saying it to convince you or her mate but appreciate the sentiment nonetheless. Also noticing how she omits the biggest reason for this mutual cooperation - the shadowsinger standing by your side.

⋆｡°✩°｡⋆

His hair was still wet when he started dressing himself, not wanting to leave you waiting for too long, as much as he hated to admit it he wasn't too happy about leaving you with Feyre either. He can tell everyone is still suspicious of you, even after Rhys tried to read into her memories to find nothing, stuck between their memories and stories they heard about you and the image of you stabbing a knife through his stomach.

Azriel knows his High Lady, his friend, wouldn't hurt you, but you're in a complicated situation at the moment and he doesn't want to find out what that guild has taught you to do in cases such as these, doesn't even want to think what Feyre would do to stop you. She didn't know you before, meaning she wouldn't have any reason to hold back if not for his sake - something he knows she wouldn't put above saving Velaris, he would never ask that of her either.

It's hard to accept he doesn't know how you'll react in certain situations, there was a time he knew you better than he knew himself. Now, he can't even begin to understand what you must have been through working for a world known assassin guild.

He'd obviously heard about them before, he wouldn't be a decent Spymaster if he hadn't. There wasn't much information on them, no one knew how large the group even was since there were rumors other groups were actually integrated in the guild. Names for it vary as well.

Even if you hadn't tried to steal from his High Lord, he knows he'll have to try getting as much information about them from you as he can, for his court's sake, and he can only pray you'll give it to him willingly or he'll have to let go of his position.

He doesn't know how you've been able to bear the guilt a job like this brings. As much as you've forgotten, your personality didn't seem to change a lot. You always reminded him of Cassian at times like these, gratuitous killing had never been for you. He hopes you don't have to deal with the torment he had been through in the first decades of working for the former High Lord, his soul had never recovered from everything he'd seen and done during that time.

Noticing his shadows reach up his shoulders, he physically shakes the dark thoughts out of his brain. Everything has been going better than expected, not only did you agree to cooperate but Rhys had given you the benefit of the doubt. You also agreed to have dinner with him so you could talk more.

He just told you he'd be joining you for dinner, omitting how excited, downright giddy, he felt at just the idea. It had been so long since you two shared a meal, talking for hours while enjoying the tasty food the House prepared for you.

He couldn't recall the last time he'd been this nervous for an outing, even if it wasn't exactly that - it was simply a trip to one of the House of Wind's guest rooms. Going as far as picking clothes in your favorite colors on him, letting the top buttons on his shirt undone because he knows how much you liked seeing the beginnings of his swirling bargain marks.

All of this could be for nothing, you don't remember him after all, but, he was almost certain your body did in some way and it gave him hope. You calmed down in his arms just as you did a century ago, said his name in the same sweet cadence and never shied away from his touch, from his hands. His shadows told him as much. Sang to him about the way goosebumps rose in your skin at his touch and attentiveness, how your thoughts and intuition warred in his favor. He refused to let his thoughts deter him.

When he gets to the room he sees you and Feyre standing by the dresser, almost wanting to apologize for winnowing in instead of knocking first, but he can't seem to find any words as he sees you've changed as well, ditching the nightgown in favor of a sleeveless dress that went down to your knees. The cobalt blue was as striking against your skin as he remembered, the garment in itself was simple enough yet in his eyes you had never looked so stunning.

Feyre must have been the one to give you the dress, he was only surprised it had taken her so long to meddle in your relationship. If there were any doubts, they were quickly answered when she threw him a knowing smile before excusing herself from the room.

“I'm guessing the blue is supposed to match those gems you wear.”

“Siphons,” he offers, entranced by the way you walk closer to him, the silky fabric moving with your body and giving you an ethereal glow.

“Did I used to do that a lot?”

“Yes.” He observes the way your eyes run over his body, lingering on the unbuttoned shirt. Seems like his old tricks still work. “I always loved seeing you in blue.”

You tilt your head to the side slightly, biting the inside of your lip the way you always did. He tries to stand as still as possible without appearing too awkward, making sure you knew it was alright to do with him anything that crossed your pretty brain. You seem to make up your mind as you walk closer to him.

“Can I see them?” You hold up your palm and he holds his hand over it without hesitation, letting you grab onto his hand to study the glowing siphon. The swirling light shone in your eyes and he can't help but be reminded of the first time you asked him to do the same exact thing shortly after meeting him.

“All Illyrian warriors have them,” he explains, “They're used to help us control our powers.”

“It's beautiful.” He tries not to let his wings twitch as you now hold his hand with both of yours. “I don't think I've seen anything like this before.”

“You have,” he can't help the somber smile that crosses his face. The reminder makes you look away from his hand to watch him, a conflicted expression falling over your pretty face. “You always liked them.”

The abrupt change in the atmosphere has him asking the house to get the room ready for your dinner. Not being able to hide the smile as he watches your amazed expression at the table that pops up beside you, full of delicious looking food and decorated with candlesticks, the faelights around the room dim in favor of the candlelight.

“I only asked for the food,” he admits with a bashful expression. He's glad you can't tell that, aside from the candles, the plates were also some of the fanciest ones. The House was going all out for the two of you.

He uses the grip you had on his hand to guide you to the chair and help you sit before making his way to his own seat, settling down and giving order for the House to serve both of you. Letting himself enjoy every little expression you made as you eat and listening to anything you felt like telling him, also answering all your questions about the House and the food.

He knows this doesn't have the same meaning to you as it does to him, knows that, as much as you don't seem to hate his company, you're more interested in finding out more about the version of you in his memories, trying to make sense of your own identity. It's hard to imagine how this whole thing must feel for you, finding out half of your life was made up and that you forgot such an important part of it. Still, this must be the best night he's had in a century.

You set your elbows on the table and rest your face on your hands, watching him with undivided attention as he tells you about his sparring match with Cassian. Your eyes don't leave his face after he finishes, appearing lost in thought. He lets you gather them, relishing in the comfortable silence. He'd be content with simply watching you for eternity.

You let out a soft sigh and lean back against the chair, closing your eyes for a few seconds before meeting his gaze again.

“What happens if I never remember you, Azriel?” Your voice barely above a whisper.

The question and the uncertainty in your voice as you asked it make him pause. He keeps trying to push back the thought that you won't regain your memories but it seems you were having the same doubts.

Just last week, he wouldn't have believed having you back was even a possibility, so getting your memories back can't be out of reach, it just can't. He was ready to give his life to make it so.

Still, he witnessed how painful it had been for you when Rhys simply tried to access your memories, he'd also told him trying harder, forcefully, could break your mind completely. If their research doesn't go well, if they can't find who did this to you, there might not be another way of bringing your memories back.

But he'd sooner die than live another day without you, whether your memories come back or not.

“I'll make you fall for me again.”

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[daistea]

Heyyyy! What would it be like if reader is pregnant with Mithrun's child, post story mithrun?

Tw pregnancy / children lol / 

˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚.

Whether the pregnancy is planned or not really depends on you and your relationship.

If you want a child on purpose, it would take some time and patience and convincing to get Mithrun on board. Pre-dungeon he was far too busy doing hot girl stuff to think about starting a family. Post-dungeon he was far too busy trying to stay alive and getting revenge to think about anything else. Post-canon, give him some time. He needs to figure out how to live. Once he’s settled for a bit, he’ll hear you out. 

If you’re a tall-man or some other short lived race, then he’s even more opposed. Not because you’re not good enough to have a baby with, or that he’s afraid of what society will think, but because how they age is so different. It’s a huge challenge. And halflings have difficult lives. It feels a bit cruel. He wouldn’t usually care whether or not he’s cruel, but this is different. This is one of his new purposes in life and he refuses to mess it up. 

However, in the end a child is still a product of love. You just discuss the ethics a lot. Even if you’re a long-lived race, he still takes into consideration the world and your families and how you’re living.

If the baby is unplanned… You break the news to him and he just disappears for a few hours. He was walking through the woods in silence. He made eye contact with a deer that had a fawn. It was a very spiritual moment. 

He returns ready to take on this challenge, exhibiting 2% more enthusiasm and motivation than he does most things. 

Mithrun is already quite protective, but it gets more intense once you’re pregnant. He watches you like a hawk. It’s actually kind of annoying and you have to tell him to chill out (he does not, but he will stop hovering so you don’t get stressed out)

As you get further along, he accompanies you when you leave the house. He prefers to be near in case anything happens, despite how safe Melini is in general. However, if you’re far along then you probably don’t want to be walking around anyway. 

Already, Mithrun is willing to do anything for his partner— as long as it doesn’t get in the way of his or your shared goals. He’s partly willing to do anything because that’s just the nature of his lack of desires. Yet, one of his new desires is to please you, so his willingness is also just for his own enjoyment. (I might develop this idea further sometime, the ensuing issues from complete willingness would be interesting to explore.)

So, it’s two in the morning and you want a very specific snack? Mithrun is already very nonchalantly pulling on his boots and leaving to get it, without you even having to ask. You stop him though because he’s about to go knock on a merchant’s door so they’ll open just for him. But if something is open, he’ll get it. If it’s possible for him to make it himself, he’ll make it. 

On his journeys to retrieve your snacks, though, he gets lost. Many times Melini guard or a friend has shown up at your door with Mithrun in tow like ‘is this yours?’

Mithrun doesn’t hide his emotions, per se, he just doesn’t connect with them enough to display them most of the time. So his anticipation for the baby doesn’t show much. It’s through his actions that you realize how he’s feeling. He touches your belly a lot, waiting for the baby to kick (he is very determined and very focused on the matter) and of course, as I said, he’s determined to give you whatever you need. Sometimes, when he’s kneeling in front of you, touching your belly, he furrows his brows a little in this small expression. It’s as if he’s confused as to why he loves this little baby so much already, when he hasn’t even met them. Parenthood is a very unfamiliar concept to him and he has trouble connecting with the idea, despite his decision to do well. 

He contemplates his own childhood a bit during this time, something he wouldn’t usually bother doing. He approaches the matter objectively, not feeling much of anything about how he grew up. He doesn’t really psychoanalyze himself. But he does make the decision to raise his child a bit differently than how he was raised. 

He becomes a little clingy at this time. Even before the pregnancy, he always found some way to be touching you, but it becomes more pronounced. He’ll have his hand on your stomach a lot, or pull you into his lap and bury his face in your hair. 

Mithrun is very prepared when you’re on outings together. You meet up with the Canaries for dinner or something and you need… Idk what pregnant people need. Napkins? Nausea medicine? Water, obviously, and good shoes. He has snacks too. He nonchalantly reaches into this overstuffed bag and pulls out what you need and the Canaries are like oooooooooo

Fleki asks if they should call him Daddy now. Mithrun doesn’t bother protesting because he knows they’ll do that no matter what he says. 

You and Mithrun are mamá y papá. Fleki and Lycion say they’re your free trial children. Modern au they beg to go to Mcdonalds and you’re like ‘ask your father’ so Mithrun pulls into the Mcdonalds drive through to shut them up. They cheer. He orders a single black coffee and drives away. 

If you get nausea early on in the pregnancy, he doesn’t really know what to do. He’ll hold back your hair if you need it. 

He does some research on what you can and can’t do while pregnant and becomes a know-it-all. 

Mithrun gives girl-dad energy, but he wouldn’t care what gender the baby is in the end. 

He doesn’t really know how to physically handle you. He’s never hurt you or been rough before (unless you wanted that) but he becomes way more gentle. 

If you headcanon that his parents are still alive, I feel like he wouldn’t really care whether they know about the baby or not. They’d probably find out through his brother. 

In fact, he doesn’t tell anyone the news. You and Mithrun visit his brother randomly and there you are, pregnant, months along, and his brother is like …Mithrun? Is your wife.. Pregnant? He just glances at you, then back to him, completely unfazed. Yeah. She is. 

Or his brother visits after the baby is born. He knocks on the door and Mithrun answers with the baby in a little carrier hanging from his chest. He doesn’t even acknowledge it or the fact that his brother had no idea, not unless his brother acknowledges it first. Mithrun’s just casually giving the baby a bottle or toys and his brother is waiting for him to explain why he thought it was a good idea to not inform his family that he was expecting?!

There was no pregnancy announcement. You were just with child one day and the world had no choice but to accept that. 

Modern au, he might have a very simple banner that says ‘it is a baby’ with a few sad, half-blown up balloons taped to the wall. You’re both just awkwardly standing beside it, staring into the camera. He texts this to his family or the Canaries with no caption then proceeds to ignore the ensuing panicked phone calls. 

He does not care what you name them as long as it’s not stupid.

Until a name is decided, you both just call them a placeholder name. (“How’s The Bean doing today?” “They’re kicking more than usual.”)

After they’re born, Bean sticks and turns into an affectionate nickname!

Mithrun walks around with the baby strapped to his chest. If you have twins and someone comments on the baby strapped to him, he just turns around and there’s another baby on his back. Yeah he open carries brandishes his son or daughter

Since he’s awake most of the time, I think he’d take over night duty a lot. He might fall asleep with the baby cuddled up in his arms or against his chest. 

He has to be taught how to change a diaper, but he learns quickly and becomes quite fast and proficient at it. 

He does not care if he’s covered in baby drool. He doesn’t get icked out easily. 

He’ll be feeding the baby, and if he needs his hands for something else he’ll just casually stick the spoon in his mouth to free up his hands. Some baby food tastes so bad but he can’t really taste it anyway. 

He can be found holding the baby often, with them usually leaning over his shoulder, held up by one of his hands (when they’re old enough to lift themselves a bit, of course.)

He is very careful with them as a newborn. 

He’s also very prepared at this point as well. He will be the one carrying the huge diaper bag most of the time. 

When they’re born, his first question for you is ‘are you okay?’ (You’re not, you just gave birth, idiot) but once that’s out of the way, his second question is ‘why does our baby look like a lumpy potato?’ as newborns frequently do.

In all, it’s a complicated subject for him. But he eases into the idea and the life, and he tries his best. He’s not the most emotionally present father, he’s imperfect as we all are, but he thinks things through and tries to make decisions that will benefit the growth of the child. He’s willing to make sacrifices. But he still gets very lost when going out to grab milk and your child is like ‘is daddy ever coming home?’ and you’re like sigh. Come on let's go find your father. 

[babygirlwritessmut]

♡︎ part3. first impression

・❥・pairing: vi (arcane) x fem!reader

・❥・ summary: first day university was almost a fail. the tension between you and Vi picked up the pace, for how long can you handle it?

・❥・ genre: smut + grumpy x sunshine

・❥・ word count: 2.3k

✎ warnings: 18+, masturbation, dom!vi, swearing, teasing, bullying

MINORS DNI!

RIDE ON ME masterlist

the next morning, you were getting ready to go to the university. you put on a beautiful black skirt and thin black tights, then chose your favorite white shirt, which beautifully accentuated your curves. you packed everything you needed into your bag and took one last look in the mirror. elegant but also refined. first impressions are always important, and you wanted to show off your knowledge and the fact that you’re not boring - "I hope my outfit hints at that."

all morning, you tried to distract yourself from thoughts of Vi, of her pink hair and strong physique. you weren't ready to face her after last night's... conversation, so you got up earlier than planned and hoped she would still be asleep when you left. and that's exactly how it turned out.

on your way to the university, you mentally reviewed everything you knew, thinking that even answering one question from the lecturer would make a mark on the first day. since you didn't get a chance to have breakfast at your place, you stopped by a café near the campus, where some students were already chatting about professors and schedules. after ordering a coffee and a chocolate croissant, you took a seat by the window. the pace of the new city amazed you, back in your quiet town, there were never so many people out and about, hurrying to work or stuck in traffic in the early hours. it was surprising and motivating. the quiet buzz of the café brought you back to thoughts about studying and the first day, but something unpleasant interrupted your enjoyable breakfast - a familiar, irritating voice.

“yeah, that was seriously hot, I think she's in love with me!” - it was Kate with her friends. "can I have one moment of peace?"

“yeah, she's so hot, this time she'll definitely ask me out on a date,” - you couldn't help but snort with laughter, watching her telling her friends these silly stories.

"wait, why is everyone suddenly quiet? and why is everyone looking at me?"

“do you have a problem, or is your croissant cracking jokes?” - Kate started walking towards you with her entourage. she was very elegantly dressed, -  "I think her shoes were from a very expensive brand, just like her bag and a dress... she has a taste."

“um, no, no problem, it's just that the croissant is really funny,” — you tried to defuse the situation with a joke.

“are you slow or something, newbie?” - she rolled her eyes at you – “they let anyone into the public programs these days, and now I have to walk alongside them,” - Kate turned back to her friends to check if they were laughing at her "joke."

"anyone? did she just imply that I'm poor or what? no, I'm not letting this slide."

“yes, the public program. for your information, they accept not only the poor, 'with whom you have to walk alongside,' but also those who passes the exams successfully, bitch. if you spent less time thinking about whether certain someone would ask you out after they kick you out of their place without a hint of the phone call you so desperately wanted, and more time studying, maybe you'd get it,” - I think I'm saying too much.

Kate let out a nervous laugh - "what are you even talking about, newbie?" - she gave you a once-over, wondering if you had guessed about Vi’s reaction or if you knew something.

seeing the tension in Kate's eyes, you decided to add quietly but still loud enough for people around to hear - "calling a partner in bed 'daddy' is a bit weird, maybe you should consult a... specialist?" - everyone in the café gasped.

"looks like I crossed the line, I shouldn't have done that, why am I acting like a jealous bitch?"

you cringed slightly at your own words, "I have no right to comment on someone else's private life, especially after eavesdropping without having one of my own."

“look, I'm sorry, I…” - you tried to say, but Kate cut you off with her loud voice.

“so, you’re the new roommate of Vi? I was wondering when we'd meet. listen to me carefully, newbie, you don't know anything about me or my relationship with Vi. why don't you just shut up and go back to whatever cave you crawled out of,” - Kate was visibly upset, and you could feel the eyes of everyone in the café on you. it was so quiet that even the coffee machine seemed to have stopped.

Kate stepped closer to you and whispered so only you could hear – “do you think I won't get you kicked out of there too?”

with a smile, she left the café while everyone else was still staring at you. "not the first impression I planned."

after that total breakfast failure, you could only hope the rumors wouldn't make it to the campus. you worried that people might think you're some creep who eavesdrops on other people's private sex life. but in a way, it was true…

the first classes went by normally. yes, you caught a few glances, but that might just be curiosity about a new face. during the third and final class, you even managed to make some friends among your classmates. they were just as you imagined - smart, fun, and interesting. everything was going great, until one of your new acquaintances asked you a tricky question while saying goodbye.

“hey, were you the one who confronted Kate this morning?” - a tall guy from your group asked.

“I wouldn't say I confronted her, I just said a bit too much,” - you said, looking clearly embarrassed as you stared at the ground.

“look, she kind of had it coming. but keep in mind that she has this rich-girl complex, so don’t be surprised if she starts spreading nasty rumors about you tomorrow. Kate’s the type who still cares about class distinctions and other nonsense. her rich parents basically founded the biggest law firm in the city, and that's where she’s aiming. I think she’s just under a lot of pressure, and that’s why she acts like a total bitch," - shared your classmate.

hearing this, you felt even worse - "I had no right to judge or comment on anything, but she's no saint either. I guess I should apologize, even if it makes things worse."

“thanks for letting me know. happy first day, everyone! I’ll be heading home now," - you said with relief, exhausted by the day’s events, wanting nothing more than to lie down on your bed and close your eyes, even if just for five minutes. the thought that your roommate might be home made your heart race.

“yeah, but don’t forget about the party tonight to kick off the school year. we’re expecting you, no excuses! we’ll send you the details,” - your new friends called after you.

on your way home, you wondered whether you should go to the club, your fatigue was clouding your judgment, but it was a chance to escape the house for the evening and strengthen new friendships. maybe even make some real friends?

“I can’t say no, I have to go, it’s my celebration too. I deserve to have fun,” — you mumbled to yourself as you walked home.

half an hour later, after a slow walk, you finally made it home.

the thought of facing Vi after your flirtatious exchange yesterday was unbearable. you wanted to see her, but the way your body reacted whenever you thought about her words didn`t add confidence. there had always been little sexual tension in your life, to put it mildly. your past partners never made you feel enough emotions to sustain a long-term relationship. it was always the same: meeting, a few dates, sex, a communication that would fizzle out after a few months - that was pretty much the story of all your relationships. sad, but true.

when you got home, you saw Vi on the couch, and your body immediately tensed, but you calmed yourself to make sure she didn’t notice. "sweaty again, must have been working out," - you thought - "maybe if I pretend nothing happened, it’ll be better?"

“hi, Vi, I’m home,” - you said as calmly as possible, trying not to let your voice tremble.

she slowly turned to look at you, glanced at your outfit, and then turned back to the TV and her bag of chips. "I hope that’s not the only thing she’s eaten all day," - you thought.

“how was your day?” - you still tried to keep your tone steady.

“very interesting. I worked out, showered, and then got a message saying my roommate likes to share my sex life with strangers,” - she turned to look you straight in the eyes.

"fuck"

“sorry about that, Kate was just really rude, and I couldn’t hold back. I just really wanted to take a jab at her,” - you started to explain, not breaking eye contact with Vi.

“don’t do it again,” - "and that’s it? well, at least she’s not mad at me. I think."

you desperately wanted to change the subject, so after tossing your bag into your room, you started talking about the first thing that came to mind.

“how can you even eat that junk? I thought athletes were supposed to eat healthy,” - you said, pointing to the bag of chips with a slight smile.

“want me to eat you instead, cupcake?” - she said with a grin, seemingly teasing you on purpose.

your body reacted instantly to that, a light vibration running through your stomach, bringing vivid images to your mind: "you on your bed, your favorite shirt crumpled and unbuttoned so that your chest is completely exposed, your skirt lifted, and your tights torn between your legs. Vi’s face at the level of your most intimate place, her fingers gently trailing along your inner thigh as if she hadn’t just thrown you on the bed and literally ripped your clothes off. "cupcake, you are very attractive now." she pulls your black panties aside with her fingers and speaks so close to your wetness that you feel the vibration - "I guess now we'll see if you'll moan sweetly for me"

you suddenly felt yourself getting wet. unable to take her comments anymore, you turned and went to the room.

the only option to calm your nerves is to take a shower. you wanted her so badly that you hated the feeling - “why can't we just talk? no, I can. she is the one making comments that confuse people. now I'm definitely going to the party, I can't be here today."

throwing your clothes on the floor, you went into the shower, hot water and your favorite shower gel that you brought from home - perfect. when your hands started soaping your body, you felt that you were still tense. your nipples were hard and the bottom of your stomach was very sore. after a second's pause, you decided that it is better to relieve this tension.

after getting out of the shower, you headed towards your bed. slipping under the warm and soft blanket completely naked, your hands began to explore your body. for a long time you have satisfied your needs on your own, sometimes even after having sex with your partners. your body needed special attention, time, touches, words... unfortunately, you rarely got it.

your hand began to stimulate the nipple, squeezing it a little. a wave of pleasure immediately ran through your body. your eyes were closed, you concentrated on the sensations. after a minute, previous images started to return to your head. "want me to eat you instead, cupcake?"

“yes” - a soft moan escaped from you. your other hand went down to your wetness. you started running your fingers and feeling how much you were really turned on. the pad of your middle finger began massaging your clit and another moan escaped you. at this point you didn't care if Vi could hear you. "let her hear, she's not the only one who can tease" - with this thought you launched your middle finger inside of you. it was so pleasant that without waiting even a minute the second finger was inside you too. you fingered yourself as you picked up the pace. in your head you only heard the phrase "yes, baby, come for me". you felt that you were already getting close, after a few movements of your fingers, a wave of pleasure enveloped your body again, but already stronger and you came, letting out a moan from your lips.

a text with the address of the party appeared on your phone. you put on a dress and started looking at yourself in the mirror. a simple short black dress that highlighted your curves fits you perfectly. you styled your hair half-up, which exposed your neck. “not bad,” - you said to yourself.

as you left the room, you noticed that Vi was in the kitchen, seemingly preparing dinner. she looked at you very slowly, letting her gaze linger on the curves of your body. you chose not to show that you noticed it. putting on your shoes, you opened the door and stepped outside.