#wait ugh that would be so cool
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my natural hair color is pretty similar to a juvenile bearded vulture.... maybe for graduation i could dye it to look like an adult's feathers....... gheuehhehehe
#sorry for being a birdbrain im writing a paper about the dallas zoo incident#vultures on my mind#bleach it then get the red/orange in.....oooouughhhhh#wait ugh that would be so cool#i got a friend on her way to cosmetology school and asked her on a scale of 1-10 how bad bleaching my own hair and she said 8#so uhh. hm. might pull a few strings (ask very nicely lol) and try to get it done professionally#and then when things are more dire I'll try to do it myself and fry my head#but just IMAGINE#(i mean like 2 of you know what i look like but just picture a gnc hottie just a real babe and youve prolly got it)#but i already do the dark eye makeup and 1. that would look SO good with that hair and 2. I WOULD LOOK EVEN MORE LIKE A LAMMERGEIER#oughhhhhh fingers crossed for my bird girl summer
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Suddenly smacked in the face by the implication of Romeo's message where he says "I remember you, so there's no reason for us to fight. I suppose."
I always thought the wording was weird, but didn't think too much on it... Until recently after we discussed some datamined stuff in the Carmeo/Promeo server. There's a scrapped line (where P was supposed to speak) that says "I may not remember, but I'm still your son" during the NP fight, and while the scrapped lines are their own can of worms, let's focus on the memory parts.
I had always thought that once a puppet woke up, they would just get their memories back. But the fact seems to be this: There are select memories that come back to give bits and pieces of their past that "wake" them up-- cause them to change, as we see with P and the necklace; As we see from the spliced memories at the Black Seaside. However, it might not be all one's memories that come back. Whether those spaces stay blank or come back over time, who knows.
What I'm trying to get at here is...
Romeo's memories might only consist of Carlo at the time of waking. Carlo was what woke Romeo-- "I remember you"-- He had the necklace, he knew from who it was; He recognized the face P was modeled after. "So there's no reason for us to fight, I suppose"-- there's a lack of confidence in the wording here. Friends aren't supposed to fight, right? That's what his memory tells him, at least.
And the only memories P tends to get in regards to his past? Those in relation to Romeo, his aspirations, and of his own death. Seemingly, these are the things most important to him.
They were the most important people to each other; They remembered each other, just one too late than the other.
#Lies of P#Lies of P Spoilers#The “I may not remember” part hit me like a sack of BRICKS before I went to bed and I was like#“Oh shit oh fuck oh shit wait what oh sHIT--” fhsddfd I was way too invested in everything else at the time#and then that hit me. And then Romeo's message hit me. And the necklace flavor text and his ergo flavor text.#And I just went-- “Does Romeo... JUST remember things relating to Carlo?... Would he.. not remember other specific stuff?”#And it all crashed down on me and I suddenly had to draft the thought real quick on my phone before sleeping on it adhdfs#But wow. Yeah. I. It makes sense?? Like... maybe they don't remember everything at all just bits and pieces. Or maybe they do with time.#Both paths are good and interesting tbh I should...incorporate that in my stuff~ mmmMMMMMMM VERY COOL TO THINK ABOUT#and painful. So and so painful uGH I LOVE THEM
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INVINCIBLE COMIC SPOILERS
LIKE MASSIVE SPOILERS
The weirdest thing about watching Invincible is seeing Ollie still be a cute lil baby while knowing exactly what's gonna happen.
Like of course it's like that for everyone. Rex, Rudy (aka Rex as well itc). It's especially painful watching them drag out Amber and Mark's breakup and sitting there like that one Frank Castle meme.
But it's different for Ollie. Watching this cute baby coo while they try to think of a name for him just, idk it hits differently. It's like I receive flashes in my mind.
"Awww what a cute baby. Isn't he just adora-"
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"Oh. Oh yeah. Oh jeez."
#invincible spoilers#its kinda the same reading the comics but something about the show taking so long due to being a whole ass tv show makes it hit harder#so damn excited to see Thragg though#less excited for Anissa#aka not at all excited. im gonna be so pissed every time she talks#although i would be lying if i said i wasnt curious at how the shows gonna handle that plot#hopefully with the seriousness and sincerity the comics did#and maybe also just kill her instead of the... not great “redemption” arc#itll be cool to hear jk simmons say “what did you do to my son” tho#invincible comic#invincible series#invincible#mark grayson#nolan grayson#omni man#oliver grayson#grand regent thragg#man it's just common for the majority of my posts to be in the tags huh#OH and itll be so so damn cool to see them dig through the planet. ugh i cant wait
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Cyberwoman redesign
#torchwood#dw#doctor who#cyberwoman#just redesigning her bc i actually really liked the concept of the episode and like I excuse stupid plotlines in torchwood bc it’s fun so#idc if the episode was objectively bad like storyline wise but I hate the sexualisation of her ugh. Chris Chibnall 😡😡😡#i added like work clothes bc i thought that would be cool bc she was at work when the battle of Canary Wharf or whatever happened (i haven’t#watfhedv it in a year) or wait have I . i have a bad memory anyway#torchwood fanart
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“She had no magic to wield, save for the keen eyes of the goddess at her shoulder and an uncanny ability to remain unnoticed, to play into expectations.”
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Lorcan Salvaterre#Elide Lochan#Elorcan#no spoilers please first read to read along with me#more notes quotes annotations & reacts in the tags spoilers for the chapter & book in post & tags of course pt 2 of 4 perspectives#Lorcan had never felt the weight of the hours so heavily upon him-I FEEL IT 2poor Rowan must feel this 247HURRY where’s Elide?hold on Aelin!#And to send Elide into Maeve's clutches--it had taken all of his will to let her walk away.😭#If Elide was captured if she was found out he wouldn't hear of it know of it. — you’d know cause she’s your mate idiot (I love you idiot#without proving their worth they could still visit--briefly. — ugh Maeve why does everything about you suck so much#If she emerged. — COME ON ELIDE — I CANT HANDLE ANOTHER CAIRN-NAPPING#the Prince of the North and the Lion the protector and the ever impatient in love idiot we all love Lorcan#He knew some of them. Had commanded them. Were they now his enemy? — they are all having some inner morality battles#What manner of birds? Raptors mostly — none from the House of Whitethorn — they fought for him on the other borders… for her🥹😭them#why so many guards if no Aelin hmm???? SHES HERE GUYS#though Gavriel kept glancing to the tattoos inked on his hands. How many more lives would he need to add before they were through?#Aelin had been trained to endure torture. Elide... He could see those scars on her from the shackles. — how about we save them both?😭🖤#She had endured too much suffering and terror already. He couldn't allow her to face another heartbeat of it--#Rowan and his random hatchet now😅😂 it’s giving my wife is gone unhinged in the woods with the bros might become a horror movie vibes#But then a two-note whistle echoed and Lorcan's legs wobbled so violently he sat back onto the rock where he'd been perched-OH MY ELORCAN😭🖤#also Lorcan… perched??? isn’t that bird boy Rowan’s thing?😅😂🤣#her cheeks rosy in the cool night air. — cheeks pink in the twinkling lights tell me bout the first time you saw me (shipping in insanity)#She was fine. She was unhurt. There was no enemy on her tail. Elide's eyes met his. Wary and uncertain. I met someone.#THANK GOD — but also wait WHAT-when?WHO?HOW?#also this quote posted is like one of the reasons I love Elide#another grand Maasverse enterance is on its way?#the fact the opening line shows that being sold out to Maeve is the same as death — OH GET TO AELIN ALREADY PLEASE#no more tattoos guys — what’s with Maeve’s wolves — isn’t dark haired beauty what Elide called the girl in the caravan so maybe it’s her
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eloise bridgerton is aromantic. in this essay i will-
#bridgerton#eloise bridgerton#I get everyone shipping her with cressida#But oh my peeps... She does not have a romantic bone in her body and I love her#It'd be sooo cool if they made her aroallo but I also think aroace would be so cool#Since most aroace characters (there very very few) you see are quiet and shy and she's just so out there#I guess we'll see#It was a fun season#The queen Charlotte spinoff is still my favorite though#Ugh but hell yeah for Benedict finally getting it on with booooiiiisssss#I'm obsessed#We all called that since episode 1#In fact. I was waiting for it to happen while watching season 1 hajshahs
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(ooc)
I forgot to be excited about it yesterday but. I finally got my preorder locked in for the 20th anniversary (colored) collector's edition set. And a set of drumsticks... obviously....
#everyone say THANK YOU PINE when i get them and share the cool new things with you all. bc my wallet HURTS#it hurts. so so badly.#but... w o r t h i t....#((if i had more money i would get the b&w set as well. i sincerely wish i was joking. this series has me in a chokehold.))#ooc#txt#im actually insanely excited for the drumsticks i cannot lie to you. i want them in my hands already#idk if they'll ship separately or if I'll have to wait til they send out my box. i could be chill live either way. but it would be cool to#+ have them sooner idk.#((maybe if i was feeling Bold I could ask my dad where the hell his old drumset ended up... like hell would he let me have it if it DOES (+#(+) still exist... and i dont have the space... but like. i would Make the space))#((idk this is the bimonthly sudden and intense longing to play an instrument that isnt My Fucking Vocal Chords maybe))#(((and my kim pine obsession obviously... but ive always liked the drums. literally only stepped back from them as an option bc they'd my +#+ dad's Big Thing.)))#that's supposed to be be chill/live. (technically it was not supposed to have the live at all actually but im not fighting the tags rn)#also they're*** my dad's big thing#kms... (/j. i do so hate it when i let one slip though... ugh)#im too scared to go back and tag this on the post this is actually relevant to btw but. im healing chat... 4/13 needs to be roxie day....#(<- forgot about it being The Homestuck Day somehow)
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hi everyone, this is my monthly check-in <3
#not feeling so great lately...there's a lesion on my other knee now#and it most likely is cancer.#they want me to wait another 10 days for an mri???? like ur crazy#if u think i can wait that long.#sighhhhhhhhh.#anyway.#some cool things have happened#like spending all day in nyc with my partner on friday <3333#and um. i did wnt to vent about smth so uh.#ED tw#lately#my energy has been too low for me to wanna cook. which in turn made my stomach shrink a LOT#since i've been surviving by grazing on snacks.#and i didnt even realize i lost weight until i went to the doctor.#i didnt realize though that it would be even MORE lost when i weighed myself without my winter clothes#and uhhhh. i currently weigh what i weighed in my senior year of high school#which is the FIRST time i've been under a certain number in over SIX YEARS.#and i havent struggled at all w body negativity or ED thoughts in over a couple years. but.#now that my ideal gender expression has shifted more to the feminine side. and now that ive lost weight.#my brain INSTANTLY latched onto that#and was like omg YES do more of that#and it feels nice. this time im FINALLY not struggling to suppress my appetite!!! my body is doing that for me!#and obviously im still eating enough to live on#but still a huge caloric deficit. and rn my wheelchair shit keeps breaking on me. my mobility company is INCOMPETENT.#and my insurance might tell me i have to wait FIVE MORE YEARS for another type of chair......I WILL DIE BY THEN.#ugh everything is so complicated now. and im ALWAYS exhausted bc the sun sets at 4:30. i've just stopped binging and i replaced it with+#a LOT. of retail therapy. i've easily spent probably 1500 of my credit limit in the last 2 months. but you know.#that and not eating are 2 of the ONLY things i can control rn. out of all the fucking bullshit these useless people and my body put me thru#anyway. i'm sure you can tell how i feel rn. i'm just going to try doing anything else today.#vent
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I feel it would be kinda fun to have the option of ascended Astarion saving you instead of withers on the dark urge run. Like If you’ve romanced him and either turned down being a spawn or not had that conversation yet. how much fun would that be? Just him swooping in like a dark Angel to save his beloved
#it’s all I desire#ascended astarion#ugh the parallels I’m weeping#that would be such a cool opportunity#I’m assuming this doesn’t exist but for all I know it does exist somewhere and everyone’s waiting to find it#this game is so big
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Look i know its a rly dumb idea to try and set up a base in the middle of louisville buuuuuut i like being withing walking distance of things and i think it would be fun to try?
Now the question is... do i take my game where i have a nice base in muldraugh and try to move as much as i can over to lv or should i start a new game already there? Kinda wanna keep my things but also kinda wanna start new again...?
#i know i have too much shit and i cant possibly carry all of it over there#but also i hate leaving things behind and deciding what to take would be awful#then again i already put so much time into this game and i dont wanna waste it all!#mayyyybe i should try a separate game starting in lv to see how bad of an idea that rly is and then decide after?#hmmmmmmng#also where in lv do i wanna set up shop? cause i need access to some trees and if possible water but i dont want a huge base like#an entire apartment complex thats way too much#idk man#this is just what i do while i dont have much to work on rn... i think about my game and look up some locations and stuff#look muldraugh is technically big enough for me and everything but ive never been to lv and it sounds cool#i dont rly wanna live in the suburbs though cause thats just sad idk... although it is the sensible thing to do#ugh im almost done with work i cant wait to go home and play#mine#pz#ramble ramble
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god it’s like primary school again (people are spreading rumours that i have a crush on someone)
#(except this time they’re right)#ugh okay it’s so annoying. it’s not actually rumours it’s just One Guy told two of my friends and they asked me#and they’re not disclosing who told them but i know EXACTLY who it is bc of. yknow. my incredibly deduction skills#and like. he talks a lot of shit but he wouldn’t be one to like. actually spill to the person. so i think i’m safe there. wait yes he would#my biggest issues are (a) word gets to people who WOULD tell the person or (b) this guy snitches to the person#bc i KNOW he’d do that. he’s done it before except i was The Person he was snitching to#and it wasn’t even out of malice he was mates with the guy. and we’re not Mates but we’re not Not Mates#but. ARGH. this is stressful#also to anyone who read this far and is somewhat up to date on my love life shit: this is a different person than the one i’ve posted about#before. like the person im talking about here who i like is Not the one i’ve posted about before#ANYWAYS. had to get that off my chest bc im actually scared the personll find out :D like im shaking rn#thankyou for reading i’m gonna show you a photo of my massive bruise now cause it looks cool#vent tw
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Already preparing myself to be disappointed at the February Nintendo direct!
#I watched the vods of a streamer that played kiu and. Man.#I just wanna see my boy in hd#the characters the story the writing the visuals the soundtrack the gameplay the weapons and powers options#It's all so beautiful and such a waste to keep it on the 3ds#ugh I know the control scheme would be hard to implement in the switch but honestly just give us both#let people choose between dual analogue (the wrong choice) and 3ds style (the correct choice)#and package the game with a stylus that'd be cool#Forever waiting for the day they say “well we do have *one* more announcement...” and Pit flies in saying “Sorry to keep you waiting!”#Luci's art tag
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watching ror and i just have some thoughts
#ROUND TWO WAS UNACCEPTABLE PLS I WAS CRYING#adam’s line was so iconic it literally brought me to tears#“does any man alive need a good reason to want to protect his children?” and i was sobbing#full on sobbing i wasn’t even hiding it anymore it was so emotional and truly a good fight#ADAM ON TOP!! just thinking about that ep has me emotional again like i love adam fr#and i have just been so desperate for the humans to win so when i spoiled myself that humans were gonna win in the 3rd round i was so happy#BUT AT WHAT COST#i ended up becoming attached to poseidon out of all the characters lmfaoo 😭😭😭 i was cheering mr sushi on he is so cool and ugh i just#i could talk about this man for hours like he is the epitome of beauty and he’s so elegant HE DIDN’T DESERVE TO DIE 😭#but also i love sasaki and he’s so respectable n admirable that i really don’t know who i’m cheering for atp 😭 this animanga has me in#SHAMBLES! left me emotionally wrecked and so hyped at the same time#but so far my favorite fight would still be jack the ripper vs hercules like wait okay i could go on n on about how much#i love the detail that goes on in jack’s character n how genius it was that hilde chose him for that round ugh it was so good#i would say deep down adam vs zeus is my most fav fight or poseidon vs kojiro but the outcomes of those HURT i can’t not cry#I LOVE SHIVA TOO#can’t wait for qin shi huang vs hades roundd hnggrrr#bro i wanna write a poseidon fic so bad but for some reason i have been itching to write for jack like !! feef#nami [ rambles ]
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Out smoked my cousins,,, truly feeling like the hippy failure cousin that all the kids like but all the adults judge and like it’s great vibes I feel my cousins actually enjoy being around me (not even just that we’re smoking like they seem to legit enjoy talking to me)
#getting along with my family and then going to bed and immediately getting really sad about my dad bc one of my cousins is super musical and#him and my dad talked about music a lot and they were always talking about gutair models and speaker types and so much cool shit and he was#such a big supporter of him and I just wish my dad was still alive bc now that same cousin is just barely starting to smoke weed (not around#his parents so we waited for them to leave and then we all smoked a joint and he watched rick and morty and then fell asleep on the couch#with a bag of Cheetos in his lap honestly so so real I hope tonight was awesome for him caus he doesn’t smoke often at all he’s still at the#remembering every time part of smoking#yeah I just wish that dad was around but at the same time I think the dynamics would be different if dad was around like things would just..#ugh. things would be better and things would be worse but I am happy and healthy and surrounded by love and I can’t dwell on shit that isn’t#going to happen and can’t ever happen again. I just have to move past it bc he is dead and I am alive and that is what outliving your#parents is and it sucks but there is nothing I can do about it and it happens to everyone it just happened earlier for me
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wow when i think about it maybe this year wasn't that bad
#i mean yes it was one of the worst definitely i kept falling down and down and down and i def hit rock bottom#highest weight of my life 'pcod' 'pre diabetes' ugh that was the worst#and the generally not studying#but but but. im going to list all the good things because it made me feel so weirdly happy that wow this happened to me#let's go chronologically#1. pretty awesome birthday got a gift from my then bestf which made me feel so seen and so understood#for the first time in life to the extent that i couldn't believe that paying attention to me and loving me so much was even possible#2. discovered i def like guys too and him writing on a tissue to me hbd and me giving him that letter which was almost like a love letter#that was so brave and vulnerable of me i can't believe i did that im proud of myself#3. learning thru an admittedly bad experience that there is no timeline for life and experiences and i definitely do not need#to have like sex and stuff to be cool and fit in its okay to wait for the right person it doesn't make me a loser#because at the end of the day i have to live with it i can sleep with someone just because i hate the feeling of being 21 and feeling#like im behind everyone but then that would be disrespectful to myself and i deserve better#4. that brief period of 15 days when i was almost friends with this girl from office and even tho she left i still remember resting my head#on her shoulders and feeling safe after so long#5. getting drunk with my bestie that was pretty awesome i shouldn't say this but it was such a good year for us cause she broke up with her#bf so whenever we met we would just play music and dance to sabrina#6. getting drunk with my SISTER and clubbing with her fuck that was pretty awesome i love her and i love her guy friend and i really hope#he succeeds in pata ing her and he becomes my future jiju#7. passinv this exam. i honestly didn't think i had it in me to get this degree and it's still hard to believe but i do feel motivated to#try now. i worked hard i sincerely studied which i hadn't done in like 2 years and it really feels like god#said yeah beta you take this win and keep getting better okay?#so much bad happened too ive now lost everyone except my family and my one irl bestf but i still feel hopeful. i hope it will be ok 2025
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back to hell (i been replaying fnv and have started Dead Money again)
#jk i actually FUCKING LOVE THIS DLC#I DON'T CARE IF THE GAMEPLAY IS TEDIOUS I LOVE IT UGH I LOVE IT SO MUCH LIKE I BEEN ACTUALLY WAITING TO PLAY IT#LIKE I THINK IS THE BEST DLC WRITTEN#i love it characters. i love its tropes so fucking much is insane#i love Elijah as a villain. like i love insane mad stubborn man AND even better if the man CANNOT be defended at all#i also cant stop thinking that hell if Elijah only wouldn't be so obssesed with this whole ahh slate thing he would be a real genius#like supposedly this man understood tecnology JUST by looking at it#and i think is very. very interesting that he was a scribe and somehow turned into an Elder#but yeah things didn't go well and stuff yknow what happened#then again i like to think about his relationship to Veronica. i mean in the way that like. Veronica def could be as smart as him if#they had a close relationship#but then christine happened#like. how would Veronica feel if she gets to know what Elijah did to Christine??? like damn it would hit since clearly she saw him as some#kind of elder figure#oh well i am basically rambling about how I LOVE how dead money and the main game interwines#like this of course doesnt only happen with dead money but theres something about the way dead money and the main game connects eachother#i just find it soo interesting and fascinating#also i fucking love the graffitis around Sierra Madre (i also love this name. very cool methinks)#these are the traces of the people there... and then also i think there was wayyy more planned about this but they cut it?#or i think they didnt presented fully like it was planned#also the suitcases that Dean left#ofc is mainly for the gameplay but man do i love when gameplay things are explained in lore#oh and also how literally everything about Sierra Madre is explained in the lore#the vending machines. the holograms. the ghost people. the cloud#i think thats cool as hell#also the lore is explained more in the terminals and i love reading terminals like yappieeee#also i love so much all the Pre-war story the post war and the present story#ALSO ALSO i love its themes soooo much#LETTING GO#AND HOW IT CONNECTS TO THE MAIN GAME OWN THEMES
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