#wait i've just realised i wrote 'how much they mean to them' i meant to write 'him'

[fishshit]

VIKTOR NIKIFOROV HAS SKATED TO JUDAS BY LADY GAGA (2011) WITH SMOKEY EYE MAKEUP AND DESIGNER FUR COAT JUST TO THROW IT OFF DRAMATICALLY

KATSUKI YUURI HAS SKATED THE SAME ROUTINE 10 YEARS LATER WITH THE SAME SMOKEY EYE MAKEUP AND DESIGNER FUR COAT JUST TO THROW IT OFF DRAMATICALLY

[kerryweaverlesbian]

2023, cawis created...

Last year I made a post (which I cannot find) delighted to have published 81,932 words to Ao3 over 20 fics. This year I beat that with 111,227! 25 fics new last year! and that's not including poetry or things I only posted to tumblr! How wonderful!! I'm gonna do a little commentary on each of them (and I will thoughtfully put it below the cut because as I said there are 25. There is a "horny" section with some explicit quotes so just scroll past to the next heading if you don't want to see that lol.

Comedies I like to go hehehe hahaha

Stakes Aren't Just For Vampires Cas and Dean get high and silly "You're repulsive," Dean says by rote, and he isn't sure if he meant it to but it comes out cloying and sweet, like an affectionate nickname.

The first one I posted last year! It took me until March :0 I wrote this one. For maybe a slightly mean reason haha. I saw a fic where Cas did a bet for money and I was like ?? why would CAS care about getting money?? So I tried to think of a situation where he would make a bet and this one materialized!

Did you notice! I used the old reliable Rule Of Three to make the ending of Dean not sure if he said "I love you" or just thought it more potent? He thinks and then immediately says what he's thinking twice before: Cas is perfect/"You're perfect" - Dean wants to kiss him/"I want to kiss you" - and then: "I love you Cas," he thinks he says. I chose "1000 dollars" from the CBBC comedy sketch show Stupid sketch where 2 old ladies ask how much something costs and it's a normal amount and they mishear as "A thousand pounds?! You can't expect me to buy a bun for a thousand pounds. Shame on you!! I am taking my business ELSEWHERE!". The comments won't all be this long lmao (<- edit: she's wrong)

I'll Drink To That Sam and Dean both come out as bisexual at the same time late in life and they're both flabbergasted "What, do you think about how every friend we have would be in bed?"  Dean tips his head to the ceiling thoughtfully and Sam wants to melt into the floor.  "You're horrible. I hate you. I hate spending time with you." 

The SECOND one I posted last year!! I had to cut off a joke where it's suggested that Cas may have had sex with Jesus Christ (but it's very possible he's just messing with Dean) for the sake of flow. First fic I chatted with @homoangel about so I always think of him when I think of this fic <3

I'VE CRAWLED FURTHER INTO THE VCR Cas's dream of being vored by the VCR machine is finally realised Intricate, high effort collaboration, all for the relatively unimportant end of entertaining other humans for somewhere around an hour and a half. The entire enterprise amounts to making pleasing shapes and noises for each other. Fruitless. Pointless...To spend months, years even, producing something, the only purpose of which is to waste more time…the decadence was astounding. [horny]

Speaking of fics that make me think of my friends! Wrote this for dear @castielsprostate's 1k event. Get weird get wild!! He is THE teevee angel and I love him I love him I love him for it!!!!!!

Tragedies Auogh ouch ow ouchies. Hehe <3

The Aftermath Dean and Cas have sex. It was great. Dean can't let it happen again. "He wonders - and he shouldn't, but - he wonders if Cas will sit here again, later, feeling out the absences that Dean is going to leave behind."

The THIRD one I posted this year!!! I went directly from silly silly silly to "[Dean] is a practical man, always has been. If there's something behind you that would kill you to look at it, you just don't look at it.". I think this is one of my best (<- guy who is going to say this about most of her fics sajbfhsv. I wouldn't post them if I wasn't proud of them!!)

Time/Body Problem Cas and Dean make out in the car before Cas's date in Heaven Can't Wait. It doesn't change anything. he's all sensation now, mind-body-time melted together like carved figures on a wax candle.

I wrote this and Aftermath on the same day. I was THINKING about how Dean and Cas so so so often ALMOST have it. Dean, here, is enthralled by the idea that Cas is human now and could want him (although, Cas definitely also wants him as an angel lmao but this is what Dean thinks) but also put off by it. When they kiss, he sees Cas as angelic, with a streetlamp halo, able to melt time, but when Cas is walking away from him, he's just some human guy who, crucially, can't save Dean anymore. Cas had reliably been the guy who could blast into any dangerous situation and come out on top (hot) and while that's not the only thing Dean likes about him, it WAS such a relief for scaredboy dangerlife Dean to have a guy who makes things SAFE. And now he can't. So the risk of making their relationship deeper feels even greater. Perhaps it is a selfish thought for Dean to want Cas to be able to rescue him still, but they're both in such perilous positions. He's worried for Cas too.

Oh did yous get the title by the way? It's like the mind/body problem which is, 'is the mind separate from the body or are they completely inextricable'? 'If I think of something sad and start crying while I'm hormonal, is that feeling from by body or from my mind' is how I understand it, but I'm not a philosopher haha. So time/body problem is like, all three of: Does their relationship need human senses and physical touch in order to be meaningful? Does Castiel's new experience of linear time (aka not being an angel) change how he and Dean relate to each other? And also, the more straightforward, they don't have enough time. Not to say I thought all that when the phrase came into my head, it's just bc I knew the phrase mind/body problem and mind slant rhymes with time, but that's why I liked it enough to use as a title haha.

Smoke Breaks series Dean and Cas share cigarettes at different points in their lives. Cas trails off, taking another long pull. He's going to smoke the whole thing at this rate, rude and overindulgent. Dean doesn't begrudge him, neither the cigarette nor the silence. He knows what he means. 

Someone told me in the comments that reading the first one fit exactly into their actual smoke break I was like WOAH :0!!! Smoking is, unfortunately, really sexy.......I keep trying to think of a way to add another fic to make this thing end on a positive note but the theme of smoking thwarts that haha. Inherently, it is about doing something you know is unhealthy and grey and makes you feel worse, like hunting, like endverse Cas's relationship with endverse Dean, like coming back to see the lover you hurt when you can't touch them or change anything, but it's always bitter sweet because you sometimes get that burst of relief. (That's not a commentary on smokers, just on the theme of smoking as used by this series!)

The last one I think drives that home most bluntly, "No amount of talking is going to change anything." but they still hold on to each other. Also in the last one, I just wanted them to be in kind of miserable surroundings and decided on a weird, dank, alice in wonderland themed motel room, which is a) something interesting to describe when I need space between dialogue and b) the ill-advised freaky looking murals of half-humanoid Wonderland characters is a reflection of how Castiel feels - not human enough, not Other enough, twisted out of shape and c) it 'reflects' (I'm about to do a pun) their relationship has gone 'through the looking glass' (teehee) from the understood 'brothers in arms' to a strange, uncertain place where the rules have changed.

Shaking Out The Nest John gets frustrated by Dean asking to visit Sam at college. "I talk a lot of shit, but [Sam]'s always gonna be family. He's..." the only reason I'm alive, same as you, John can't quite get to come out of his mouth, so instead he repeats, "He's good."

In the demon plane episode where it's revealed that John would rave about Sam getting a full scholarship to Stanford. I think about it SO MUCH. John loved his kids but that didn't make him a suitable parent. I wanted to explore those complicated emotions and the thought patterns that might lead him to what he does. Like I don't think it's deliberately thought out scheming malice that makes him say things that make Dean feel worthless. But he only sees him as a kid when he "fails" at being an "adult" (as in, when Dean disagrees with him) and he thinks it's his job as a parent to tell Dean to knock that off. He wouldn't see his reframing of Sam leaving to "He left both of us because of his pettiness" as playing them off against each other, even though he IS, he'd see it as telling the hard truth and trusting his son to be a grown up about it. John is very emotional and parenting just via your own emotions rather than being able to step back and go 'am I being fair? is this a reasonable response to what's actually happening?' leads to situations like John blaming Dean for the Schtriga incident or saying he should 'rot in jail' for stealing peanut butter.

Horny ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Close Zoom (too close) Dean and Cas make out for the first time while watching a movie. Cas gets overexcited. [Cas] replays the experience of holding Dean; the way his eyelids had fluttered shut with relief when their mouths first connected; the lean in by increments that ended with Dean on top of him....He wants to touch him. No, he amends the oft repeated thought, he wants to touch him again. 

I also wrote this inspired by going huh??? from another fic where they watch a movie together on a date on a first date and DON'T make out like. What are we doing here gang. If they are "watching a movie" and enjoy making out, then they ARE making out before the credits roll lmao. (In MY humble opinion!!!) Obviously chose The Mummy bc Dean's bisexual and I KNOW that man is showing Cas all his Formative To My Sexuality movies as a move to try and suss out what Cas's preferences are. The Lost Boys, Mr & Mrs Smith, Van Helsing, Labyrinth, Indiana Jones, Charlie's Angels, the list goes on.... Also my first installment with Cas having a bit of a pain kink (excited by the thought of a shock collar lol which I havvve been thinking about doing something more with.)

I have. by the way. a second work in progress where Cas gets wayyy more worked up than he was expecting and Dean is similar to here, slowing him down so it's not overwhelming, so look forward to it!!!!

Thunderstruck Cas has them struck by lightening while Dean sucks him off. HELL YEAH. Emanating from Castiel are intermittent bursts of white electric light, shocking across the black sky, sketching outlines of six invisible spread wings. That same light forms thin circular halos behind Cas’s head, some small, some so massive Dean can only see them in pieces. His eyes too - completely obscured by brilliant white light. He is radiant in all senses of the word. 

hehehehe. If your boyfriend can make it safe to be struck by lightening like you GOTTA do it just for the experience. I decided to have Dean not be like, blown away by it (but he is blown away by seeing a bit of trueform Cas) and instead find it just kind of weird but not bad to try and be true to life. sometimes you try something and don't love it or hate it and that's okay! Normal part of having sex. Sex is just another activity with lots of things you can do with it. That, and, it can't all be high points lol. That's why Cas is a little subdued when Dean says he only has 6 wings. peaks and valleys :)

The Feeling Is Enough Service top Dean :) "Cas - Cas, please...please can I come?" Cas doesn't say anything, just smiles up at him adoringly.

This one was bc @faithdeans lamented the lack of service top Dean destiel and I raced to his aid. Literally Dean would LOVE doing this.

Red Velvet Lines The Black Box Vampire!Dean sucking Cas's blood :) Cas is the only angel human enough to have workable blood.... And even if there were anyone else, Dean wouldn't want them. His is the only blood in Dean's veins.

This one was bc @domesticatedangel lamented the lack of vampire destiel smut and I raced to her aid. Castiel the rebel angel being horny over being given an order that he chooses to follow of his own volition? It's more likely than you think! The unmissable return of Castiel's pain kink lmao, even moreso in the second chapter. His penis! in peril!!!!!

The Girl Is Dead. Long Live The Woman. (Anna/Pamela*) Anna visits Pamela to find out what she wants and they have sex :) "I'm not used to - being part of things still. Being touchable. I didn't make the most of it, as a human. I didn't do enough. I was afraid. Embarrassed of my own feeling. I think I wasted my life."  "Be fair. You were a kid for most of it. You didn't know who you were." 

THIS one was because @honestlyhaunted lamented the lack of Pamela/Anna smut and I RACED to their aid. You may be noticing a theme. It's quite possible that if you sigh forlornly over a lack of erotica and I see it that something will be done about it. No promises though lol.

I tried to go for a more season 4 and 5 "everyone just fully states their unique moral philosophy out loud" vibe. And a "Pamela's disability actually affects her life in a practical way" vibe that the show itself elected to ignore. I DID get distracted a few times from my goal of "they have hot sex" because I got too invested in Anna's weird life. As I said in a comment response, Anna is the butterfly that wants to squash herself back into her cocoon. She went from being very emotionally present in her body as a human to having a very flat affect as an angel again (in part because she didn't feel the need to mask her autism anymore. Anna's autistic just like Cas and Hannah and people are not saying this!!!!). And, finally. I wanted a woman to have sex with a woman using a strap on because I hadn't done that yet LOL.

*If this ship was more prominent we could be calling it Pamelanna which is very fun to say.

The Dog, the Lamb and the Butcher Dean and Crowley are having sex during their summer of love and Cas is caught watching them >:3 Then again, fairness doesn't seem to be the watchword here. Dean's looking up at him with what could be adoration, but there's a wildness to him too, a sparkling mischief that undercuts any implied promise of loyalty.  "You like me, don't you Cas? You like me. Uhhn -" A groan born out of Crowley picking up the pace again, making Dean rock into the mattress, "You like me. You like me all the time, no matter what I do. You even like me now." 

Nobody asked for this I have no one to blame but myself. I love and adore the Dean who cannot speak his feelings no matter how much he wants to but there is always room in my heart for an overemotional Demon!Dean who says and does whatever he wants because he's lost the ability to care about the consequences. We could have had it alllllll.

Ask for it Cas caught casturbating by Dean. What happens next WON'T surprise you. His breathing is labored, and he's making quiet sounds of effort, which probably have something to do with the fact that his fingers are pushing in and out of the wet, open pussy between his legs. The pace doesn't slow at Dean's interruption, giving Dean ample time to absorb the image of Cas’s long fingers being swallowed to the last knuckle. 

I am asking here now. I am the one sighing forlornly. I don't CARE that there are already 232 accidental voyeurism destiel fics. MAKE MORE. SHOW ME MORE. SHOW ME MORE. I WANT TO READ MORE. MORE SHAMELESSLY SELF-PLEASURING CASTIEL AND/OR DEAN AND THEY DON'T HAVE A SOCIAL SCRIPT FOR THIS SITUATION SO THEY'RE JUST GOING ON INSTINCT AND THEIR INSTINCT IS TO BE CRAZY HORNY ABOUT IT. SHOW ME MORE!!!!!

Ahem. Or don't teehee. This was my most self indulgent smut (and that's really saying something!!!!). I highly recommend just fuckin going for it because it means I get to reread something all the time that is exactly suited to my tastes!! Hell yeah!!

Fluff :3 this is uwu-hat uwu've aww been uwu-ating fow :3

Pretty Wife Closeted to even himself genderqueer Dean inadvertently insists that he's Cas's wife. Neither of them are opposed! "I think I understand," Cas says, nodding to himself with his 'I got it' smile, "Yes. We are playing roles. I will 'take out the trash' while you 'sit there and look pretty'."

My kingdom for genderqueer dean. He's literally butch. Helloooo!!

Okay that's all for fluff. LOL. SORRY. I post most of my fluff directly to tumblr!!

Carefully Plotted!!! These are the big ones!!!!!!!! All three of these are "One of my best".

A Light Above Descending Cas gives Dean his Grace to calm his Mark of Cain rages. He assumes Dean doesn't remember what he tells him when he's being fed, so he allows himself to be kind. He assumes Dean would prefer that he quietly sacrifice his life for him. He assumes that he hasn't got any family left who love him. He's wrong. A rat gets what a rat gets, is the phrase that repeats in his head, although he can’t speak them over the pounding of his heart, a rat gets what a rat gets.

I have talked about this one at great length in my #cawis commentary tag so I will not reiterate here. Other than that I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo so so so so proud of it and I love it so much.

The Voice In My Earpiece Thinks You're An Idiot (Jo/Bela) JoBela heist fic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“If anyone touches you again, I will cut off their fingers.” The fierce darkness of the promise plunges into Bela’s stomach, like a punch. Nobody has ever made her a promise like that before. Not one she believed, anyway.  “Do you believe me?” “That would -” Bela clears her throat, finding her voice croaky - “That would blow our cover.” “I don’t care.”  She means it. Bela remembers what Jo said when they properly introduced themselves - “I make a promise, I keep it.”. Stupid, it is, to throw away their plans over a few moments of discomfort. Ridiculous. Childish. “Do you believe me?” Jo repeats, and Bela nods, jerky, unpracticed. “Yes.” She takes a breath, then says again, “Yes.”

They get the biggest quote because theyyy mean so much to meeeee. I'll probably do another cawis commentary on this at some point bc there are too many things I did on purpose to say them all here. For now: when the woman who's learned to never trust anyone comes to trust the woman who's never felt trusted. And they banter and have hot lesbian sex. ROMANCE.

In Case of Emergency S1 Faith!Dean gets a new roommate at the hospital who's weird and intense and unexplainable things happen to him at night. I wonder who it could beeeee surely no one who's significant to Dean!!! (It's S5 Cas when he did the angel banishing sigil on his own chest) One of the machines on the other side starts going crazy with noise just as the curtain is cast back in a dramatic swish. The shadow of a man looms, sinister and ominously silent. He's watching Dean, but Dean can't do the same, his face impossible to make out. A red light flashes off kilter to his head from his monitors, and Dean gets the absurd thought that it looks like a knocked off halo. 

You know it you love it it's In Case Of Emergency. I just think. They DON'T have a supernatural soulmate connection but they just get on as people. If they met at any time in each other's lives for the very first time (aside from Godstiel lol) they would end up getting along! They click! They LIKE each other!

I thought a lot about the Sam role in this fic. If you have 3 people and 2 of them want something (to hang out all the time) then the 3rd person SHOULD be getting in the way of that (closing the curtain) for a believable reason (Dean needs to rest and stop tiring himself out with this random stranger!!!). Sam comparing Dean's imminent demise to Mary's death and Dean eventually asking what he'd want Mary to say to him (with the subtext; what can I say to make it better that I'm dying) made me cry as I wrote it and every time I reread it. It's making me cry NOW lol. augh fuck im rereading i'm crying. turns out. when you write exactly what touches you emotionally. you feel touched. emotionally. to read it.

Also this fic now makes me think of darling @forestofsprites bc they've left such wonderfully kind tags every time they've reblogged it :') ily

Misc I dunno. These don't fit in the other categories lol.

6th Life's The Charm! Sarah Blake/Bela Meow!!!!! Sarah gets a mysterious commission to find a painting, and a strangely perceptive cat follows her home the same day. But those can't possibly be connected I'm sure. Smiling with her eyes closed, Sarah puts a hand on B's back and touches. Skin.  She startles awake and jerks her hand away. By the embers of the fire, she can see the woman lying on top of her....The woman is watching her, smiling, and her pupils are strange. They creep a little too far into her irises. She's also the most beautiful woman Sarah has ever seen. Stunning, in both senses of the word.  "No questions?" The woman asks eventually, as Sarah's silent stare ticks on. Her tone is a) British and b) faintly mocking, like she knows something Sarah doesn't. 

Little turned into a kitty cat romcom!! I do fun little asides in footnote format! Middle aged yaoi ummmm but what about middle aged YURI??? Sarah references Sex in the City and is having a midlife crisis what more do you want from me!!! I did want to have a little moment of Sarah saying "sorry about the collar attempt" and Bela flirtily going "hmm, I think it'd look better on you" and Sarah spontaneously combusting but it didn't quite flow. Maybe in the horny sequel I kinda want to write...

MEOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello, Sun In My Face Cas realises he's in love with Dean. The natural thing to do is to tell him right away. "Don't," Dean pleads, and it's not clear whether he means don't love me or don't tell me. Either way, Cas is going to let him down.  "I love you," Cas repeats, firmly, "I have loved you. I will love you. That's all."

Too angsty for the fluff section, too sweet for the tragedies. What are you. As may be clear from previous works, in MY world, Dean and Cas platonically sleep together every night and snuggle the whole time :3 even if it's a world where they're aromantic I firmly believe this would be the case. When I say platonic I am not saying it with a wink and a nudge, as a few scattered comments seem to suggest they think. But also in this one they are also romantically in love haha.

How Do You Go From Wanting To Having? When Cas stumbles back to life after escaping from the Empty, Dean can't speak the words in his heart. But he can write them. You can have it, and variations thereupon: You can have it, damn it; could have fucking taken me, asshole; what do you think is supposed to make me happy now, you arrogant, stupid son of a bitch?

I don't know if I made the most of this premise lol but I had fun building the evidence of grief into the Bunker. They pushed a heavy object in front of the door to the dungeon so they didn't have to see it, Dean filled his room with lights so he didn't have to be in the dark (a general post-canon headcanon of mine that both Dean and Cas have lamps on all night), Dean's stiff position during his nightmare. Little clues that Cas does NOT pick up on bless his heart.

This Is A Love That Lasts Forever It's about Claire giving Cas a haircut. It's about grief. It's about love. Cas remembers - though he shouldn't, ethically - sending Claire for a time out for saying the word 'damn' when she was 6, though she surely couldn't have known what it meant. Swinging her hand on the way to church on Sundays. Clapping for her awkward turn at playing Mary in the Christmas Nativity. Loving Claire had only deepened Jimmy's love of God, and this was the love that Castiel had taken advantage of. He doesn't deserve even a moment of Claire’s forgiveness. 

Last one! I uploaded this on the 29th of December but it ISSSSSS absolutely 1000% one of my best. Cas and Claire's relationship in canon is so WEIRD. One doesn't typically accept grumpy cats from the guy wearing your dad's corpse as a skin suit??? Even if he's kind of nice to you?? So this is my way of figuring out how to make it make sense. She can't ditch Cas because that's where all her dad's love is stored and nobody else in her life knows her dad anymore. And they both have to try and make that work.

I had a different ending in mind for a little while - Claire completing the haircut and then going oh my god. now you don't look like my dad anymore. what have I done now I won't remember him I'm so stupid!!! put it back how it was!! and Cas is like um I can't do that though I'm low on Grace and Claire cries herself out about it and they talk about having to get used to new, unfamiliar circumstances. But I like what I went with more (obviously. because I wrote it lol).

Little headcanons that I carried across from other works: - Claire will allow Donna to be as cutesy and affectionate as she likes and Donna calls her "Claire-bear" and nobody can figure out why it's a shy little happy smile when Donna pats her cheek and beams at her and she would kill anyone else who tried it with her laser eyes. I do though, I know why. It's bc of Donna's easy open affection that genuinely isn't trying to hide anything. Claire knows Donna isn't faking it because Donna is kind to everything and everyone. She would have a harder time with Garth though even though Donna and Garth are very similar in this regard, just because. Well. The girl has been traumatized and betrayed by so many "nice" men. God how did I get onto this. Donna is the mom/aunty figure Claire has needed for a long time. I talk about this in Growing A New Half Soul - Angel's were never children I talk about in A Light Above Descending.

THE END.

If you've read this. Are you sure you didn't have anything better to do with your time avhsbv but thank you!!! Go follow all the friends I've @'d because then they might do follower events and I might write more things as a result!!!! Also go and write some dean walking in on cas masturbating fic and then send it to me.

My challenge for you is to think about women falling in love with other women. Wow, beautiful, right? And also to think of ONE thing you did that you are proud of this year. Even and in fact especially if it's something you're not "supposed" to be proud of. Did you find something new you liked. Were you kind to someone. Were you kind to yourself when you didn't have to be. All these and more are things to take pride in.

I, for one, am proud of having written 111,227 words of complete short fiction!!!!! So much so that I wrote another 4936 words talking about them here :)

[gear-project]

HYPOTHETICAL STRIVE WINQUOTES

Remember when I said I was gonna write EVERY POSSIBLE WINQUOTE that characters were missing in GG Strive in classic Guilty Gear win quote fashion...

Well, here's my first attempt:

(I wrote all of these In-Character to the best of my knowledge… you can take them with a grain of salt… but I hope you appreciate the attempt all the same!)

Sol Badguy VERSUS SELF: You're lucky the Bounty on me was fake, I'd have cashed it in myself years ago! VERSUS KY: Just because you can use Dragon Install doesn't mean you're stronger than me… VERSUS AXL: At this point I should be the one with the handicap! VERSUS GIOVANNA: I knew somebody like you in the CIA… she dug too deep though. VERSUS MAY: You've gotten stronger since last we fought… wanna go again? VERSUS CHIPP: I don't actually SMOKE anymore… I quit a long time ago. VERSUS FAUST: PHYSICIAN HEAL THYSELF! VERSUS RAMLETHAL: I see you've gotten more vicious… but you're kinder underneath. Not bad. VERSUS POTEMKIN: Wait a minute, you're a Pilot? How can you fly when you're THAT big? VERSUS LEO: You've toughened up since last time, huh? Keep working at it. VERSUS ZATO: You and Death just don't get along. Stay out of trouble. VERSUS MILLIA: So you work for the Government, now? Don't dig too deep. VERSUS BAIKEN: You've mellowed out some since last we fought… but your sword is as sharp as ever! VERSUS ANJI: As usual you're a pain in my neck. Stay out of my business! VERSUS BEDMAN?: This hunk of junk is still walking around!? Wait, you're KEEPING IT? VERSUS TESTAMENT: Last time we fought you were on a holy crusade… you've changed a lot. VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: I'll go back to 'playing dead' soon enough, if it gives YOU less paperwork! VERSUS BRIDGET: You got a patent for that thing? Trust me, the rules are pretty strict nowadays. VERSUS JACK-O': C'mon don't be like that… I'll buy you dinner and roses when we get back. VERSUS I-NO: Even if you're not who you were in the past, you're still FREE. VERSUS SIN: Copying my moves, eh? Well it's better than nothing, I guess. VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: I never thought a Katana could outpace Gear Cells… guess I've got more to learn. VERSUS CHAOS: Maybe you think the world needs you… But you'd be dead wrong. VERSUS ASUKA#: Why do I have to deal with your leftover crap, anyway? VERSUS ASUKA: After all that's happened between us… I just feel better having punched you in the face.

Ky Kiske VERSUS SELF: You probably don't realise it but my family depends on this sword of mine. VERSUS SOL: Not holding back… I finally understand what you meant. VERSUS AXL: You've got new tricks, I see… I can't tell where you'll appear next! VERSUS GIOVANNA: This is the first time someone has stopped my sword with their foot! You're strong. VERSUS MAY: Once someone figures out who they need to protect… they can only get stronger! VERSUS CHIPP: You used to be so hot tempered, then again, I wasn't much different. VERSUS FAUST: I see you've paid a great price to get stronger… Don't waste it, but take care. VERSUS RAMLETHAL: Your style is still much like Sol's but you've refined yourself even more. Impressive! VERSUS POTEMKIN: At this point I can afford to entrust my back to you, that's how strong you've become. VERSUS LEO: I never said I was a genius, or that I was handsome… HEY STOP WRITING STUFF DOWN! VERSUS ZATO: So you've dedicated the remainder of your life to being a Knight. Protect her with your heart, not just your power alone. VERSUS MILLIA: So you've found a place to 'exist'. I'm glad for you. VERSUS BAIKEN: You've matured a lot since last time… I'm glad you have something precious to protect now. VERSUS ANJI: You're still a bit of a mystery to me… How exactly did you get those Zessen OutRage? VERSUS BEDMAN?: The boy who once rode in this monstrosity sacrificed his life to protect his sister… I'll never forget his sacrifice. VERSUS TESTAMENT: I suppose at this point you're like a Brother-in-Law? Or a Sister-in-Law?!? VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: It is my HOPE that Illyria and America can continue to keep the peace of this world. I hope the feelings are mutual. VERSUS BRIDGET: Someday I hope you'll work up the courage to introduce me to your family. VERSUS JACK-O': Even if your past is tied to things you don't connect with, you can still make up the difference by being yourself. VERSUS I-NO: Even if you were given the role of a God… Humanity and Gears still have the freedom to live on their own terms. VERSUS SIN: I noticed you've been trying to copy my techniques too… if you want to practice I'll help you-- (….he got away again…) VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: Bushido still has a place in this world for those of us who fight to protect those we care for. VERSUS CHAOS: It's a shame. You were blessed with the world's greatest wisdom but you squandered it. Maybe it's time you sought to atone for your past. VERSUS ASUKA#: I've fought Robot copies of myself, so you'd think I'd be used to these situations… Unfortunately I'm not. VERSUS ASUKA: This is the first time I've exchanged words with someone who knew Sol for far longer than I have. I'm somewhat impressed.

Axl Low VERSUS SELF: I won't be giving Megumi up to you, just to have you know! VERSUS SOL: Chief, I'm just glad you have my back through thick'n'thin… VERSUS KY: Oi-Oi.. This King has a lotta Time on 'is 'ands if he wants to drink Tea with me! VERSUS GIOVANNA: You really need to work on your manners… it's rude to pick a fight you know… VERSUS MAY: I expected Sea World from you, but all that jumpin' makes you an easy target… VERSUS CHIPP: You say you're Japanese but live in AFRICA??? But you're actually a bloody American? You're confusing, mate. VERSUS FAUST: Is it just me or have you gotten even taller? And you can make portals like me now!??? VERSUS RAMLETHAL: So the girl who declared War on the World is now a HERO?? Politics, I tell ya… VERSUS POTEMKIN: I didn't mean nothin' by callin' you a Gorilla… but the similarities are very striking… VERSUS LEO: A SPEEDING TICKET!? FOR TELEPORTING? What kinda bollux speed trap is this??? VERSUS ZATO: So can Eddie do party tricks? Can you make him look like me? VERSUS MILLIA: I almost regret asking Megumi to trim her long hair… almost. VERSUS BAIKEN: Havin' family's important… it gives you a foundation to live. VERSUS ANJI: Been a long while, Mate. I didn't expect you'd figure everything out after the last time we met, but here we are. VERSUS BEDMAN?: I spoke with Romeo, you know. He was dead set on destroying the world if it meant protecting you, Delilah. I just hope you can find peace after all that's happened. VERSUS TESTAMENT: Just how many new hobbies have you GOT, Mate!??? VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: My Chain Sickles are lightweight for a REASON… I'd throw my back out if I swung around something THAT heavy, Mate! VERSUS BRIDGET: Sorry, I don't make it a habit to show the solutions to MY TRICKS! VERSUS JACK-O': Jacky! Do me a favor and keep Chief outta my hair… He's a bit much for me to handle! VERSUS I-NO: It's not like it never occurred to me to ask you out on a Date… I just didn't want to Cheat on my Girlfriend is all! VERSUS SIN: I suppose wielding a flagpole DOES improve your attack range… slightly. VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: Becoming a Human isn't really that hard… You just gotta trust people a bit more is all. VERSUS CHAOS: You gross me out, Mate… I can't believe I met the "human version" of you in 2192… VERSUS ASUKA#: You mean I could make a COPY with MY powers? Of myself!? That's wild, mate! VERSUS ASUKA: I know you made the Gears, but did you ever expect the world would turn out like this? Amazin' how Humans bounce back, ain't it?!

Giovanna VERSUS SELF: If you can't even tell which of us is real, why'd you even try? VERSUS SOL: Don't even try it. I'll kick you so fast your "Bandit Revolver" will seem like a Squirt Gun. VERSUS KY: You're the type who causes misunderstandings with women, aren't you? VERSUS AXL: You're pretty nosy, butting in to peoples' business… but I'm not too different. VERSUS MAY: Love's important… but so is strength and speed. VERSUS CHIPP: I outran a Cheetah that was faster than you! VERSUS FAUST: Sorry, my insurance doesn't cover kicks to the face… that is your face, right? VERSUS RAMLETHAL: I'm not interested in your past, but you better believe you'll make it up to the future. I'll see to it. VERSUS POTEMKIN: I've heard you're an artist… can you dance, too? VERSUS LEO: Rei, hold him down so I can handcuff him…. He's coming HOME with me! VERSUS ZATO: I'm not really sure if Rei is the same as your Eddie here, but at least he's house-trained! (Thank god…) VERSUS MILLIA: I'm not really the type to hold back towards Secret Agent types, sorry… It's my line of work. VERSUS BAIKEN: The War is in the past, but it's hard for people to forget isn't it? I know. VERSUS ANJI: You're a pretty good dancer, but you get distracted when expecting people to be impressed by it. VERSUS BEDMAN?: In this line of work you never know what you have to face… Sorry, if I damaged it too much. VERSUS TESTAMENT: Your Scythe is pretty scary, but I don't see the point of drinking Tea… I guess it's a culture thing. VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: Boss… I know what you're gonna say… But, I got my own trail to follow! VERSUS BRIDGET: Being 'yourself' in this world is pretty tough, but hang in there, okay? VERSUS JACK-O': Rei isn't exactly a "ghost" or a "servant" in a traditional sense… No lectures, please… VERSUS I-NO: You cause trouble and expect people to be lenient… We're human, but even WE have LIMITS. VERSUS SIN: You're pretty energetic, kid… But if this were a race, I would have LAPPED you. VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: My job involves a lot of things, but it's not like I don't have time to help people like yourself. VERSUS CHAOS: Sorry but… CAN YOU PLEASE GO DOWNWIND? YOU SMELL LIKE A CORPSE… VERSUS ASUKA#: I could actually tell you weren't the real thing, believe it or not you have a different scent. VERSUS ASUKA: You've probably been through a lot, but sorry to tell you, I'm just doing my job here.

May VERSUS SELF: You'll never beat me when it comes to LOVING JOHNNY! VERSUS SOL: You lived a rough life, so I heard. Maybe what you need is a trip to the BEACH! VERSUS KY: You're MARRIED NOW!? Time sure flies… VERSUS AXL: It takes more than Luck to find someone who loves you… You have to work hard. VERSUS GIOVANNA: (Johnny likes cool busty ladies, better make sure he never meets her…) VERSUS CHIPP: If I keep training like this, maybe I'll get to wear cute Ninja clothes too??? VERSUS FAUST: I'm sorry about your past (and misjudging you as just a 'baldy')… I hope things turn out better for you, someday! VERSUS RAMLETHAL: I finally found out the truth, thanks to you, but I'm still glad I heard it, even if it was harsh. VERSUS POTEMKIN: They say you have to be HUGE to be strong, but I'm pretty small and STILL strong. Did I eat something weird? VERSUS LEO: Even though you're a rough guy, you think about others… you're not so bad! VERSUS ZATO: Explaining what 'Love' is is pretty tough, actually… I'm not sure what to tell you… VERSUS MILLIA: You're what they call a "real professional", aren't you? I hope I get to be like that someday… VERSUS BAIKEN: I still haven't found my 'original family' yet, either… but I hope we can both find peace… VERSUS ANJI: You sure know a lot about the past… What other stuff do you know? VERSUS BEDMAN?: (This girl's a little creepy, but I doubt Johnny would be interested…) VERSUS TESTAMENT: I'm not sure if I can give permission for you to join the Jellyfish Crew (Johnny, HELP!!!) VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: Whoah… YOU HAVE AN ALIEN IN THERE!??? CAN I SEE IT?? CAN I, PLEASE!??? VERSUS BRIDGET: Your "real family" will always be there for you in a pinch, like me and Johnny! VERSUS JACK-O': These little guys are really cute… can I take one home with me? VERSUS I-NO: Just because you're feeling bored doesn't mean you get to pick on others! VERSUS SIN: Using a flagpole isn't too much different from an anchor… I don't think? VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: I can't say I've ever tried Onigiri before… (even if I'm Japanese…) VERSUS CHAOS: ---AND THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE JELLYFISH PIRATES!! (Oops, did I go overboard again…?) VERSUS ASUKA#: This is… totally weird. I half expect to run in to a ROBOT COPY of myself… shivers VERSUS ASUKA: I don't hold grudges for past mistakes… But I hope you'll continue to do good for people…

Chipp Zanuff VERSUS SELF: SHADOW CLONE JUTSU DISPERSE! Huh!? You're NOT part of my Jutsu!???? VERSUS SOL: Maybe you quit Smoking, but you really should work on your Endurance, old man… VERSUS KY: All leaders have a heavy burden… I know that now… Stay cool, though… VERSUS AXL: My armblade isn't quite the same shape as your chain scythe, but if I can move faster than you, it can slay demons! VERSUS GIOVANNA: I sense a spirit possessing you… and… he is a good boy. VERSUS MAY: It takes more than trust to form a bond with your familiar… You gotta keep up with their pace as well… VERSUS FAUST: I didn't realize this before but your techniques are a form of ancient martial arts aren't, aren't they? VERSUS RAMLETHAL: You're still learning how to interact with people, but don't try too hard, it makes them uncomfortable. VERSUS POTEMKIN: As usual, you're a slow-poke… but at least you're good at holding your own pace. VERSUS LEO: You wield those swords almost like Armblades… you've gotten stronger since last time… VERSUS ZATO: I've mastered shadow manipulation now, as well… Can you sense me when I 'disappear completely'? VERSUS MILLIA: You've gotten faster since we last raced… Keeps me on my toes! VERSUS BAIKEN: Okay, I'll admit I was raised in America, but my Master was Japanese… he was like a father to me! VERSUS ANJI: You need to learn your limits against some people… Especially against Demihumans and ME… VERSUS BEDMAN?: I met your brother, once… he didn't say much, but I sensed he had a strong conviction… He has my respect. VERSUS TESTAMENT: It's one thing to be curious, but don't just mess with Humans just for the heck of it! VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: Give Erica a message from me: I'm BUSY. SEE YOU! VERSUS BRIDGET: You can use that winch to maintain air in the sky… I might borrow it for a little while… VERSUS JACK-O': I sense two souls in one body… what the heck is this!? VERSUS I-NO: The heart of the Mother of Origin… To think you were someone like that… it's tragic. VERSUS SIN: Using all your energy in one go isn't a good idea… only save it for THE PERFECT MOMENT! VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: My Master taught me everything about Ninjutsu… just who are you to him!? VERSUS CHAOS: Purity and Sinlessness are two different things… I'm not here to judge you, I'm here to STOP you. VERSUS ASUKA#: It takes more than that to form a stable Bunshin, you need more practice! VERSUS ASUKA: Thanks for keeping Erica safe… But don't expect me to vouch for you…

Faust VERSUS SELF: PAST… GONE… NOT… NEEDED… VERSUS SOL: CHANGED… BUT STILL… HOT. VERSUS KY: SAVED… ME… THANK YOU. VERSUS AXL: PORTALS… HARD TO… USE. VERSUS GIOVANNA: DOG… IS… SOFT. VERSUS MAY: ENERGETIC… DOLPHIN… GIRL. VERSUS CHIPP: YOU… TALK… TOO… FAST. VERSUS RAMLETHAL: I WILL… SAVE… EVERYONE… VERSUS POTEMKIN: TOO… MUCH… PROTEIN… VERSUS LEO: NEW… DICTIONARY… ENTRY… VERSUS ZATO: HATRED… HASN'T… FADED… VERSUS MILLIA: TRIED TO… SAVE… SORRY… VERSUS BAIKEN: YOUR… HEART… HAS… HEALED. VERSUS ANJI: NO… SHIRT… NO… SERVICE. VERSUS BEDMAN?: SWEET… DREAMS… VERSUS TESTAMENT: RESOLVED… FAMILY… ISSUES… GOOD. VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: NOT… A… CRYPTID… VERSUS BRIDGET: CHALLENGE… YOUR… TRUE… SELF. VERSUS JACK-O': ONE… PATIENT… AT A… TIME. VERSUS I-NO: DESIRES… ARE… FLEETING… VERSUS SIN: OVER… EATING… BAD… DIET… VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: TOO… MUCH… BLOOD IS… UNHEALTHY… VERSUS CHAOS: TAKING ON… ALL GUILT IS… WRONG… VERSUS ASUKA#: CANNOT… FAKE… INSURANCE CARD… VERSUS ASUKA: MAGIC'S ORIGIN… IS… COMPLICATED…

Ramlethal VERSUS SELF: Understanding the uniqueness of oneself is a lot more complex than I realized… VERSUS SOL: I don't expect you to forgive me, but I will fight for the future… VERSUS KY: You gave me and my sister a home… I will repay this debt… VERSUS AXL: Even you have your own unique struggles… I learned something new today… VERSUS GIOVANNA: You wield a powerful energy in your kicks… I must continue to learn… VERSUS MAY: I explained things because you asked it of me, but I hope you're… feelings… weren't hurt. VERSUS CHIPP: I still don't quite understand what a Hero is… but I am still learning… VERSUS FAUST: Even if your past is a unique burden… it is still your OWN past and not anyone else's… VERSUS POTEMKIN: You've gotten sturdier since we last fought… but I won't lose here… VERSUS LEO: I hope I can wear my Pride on a Belt like you one day… VERSUS ZATO: You lost many things, but still gained insight that few others have… I must learn more… VERSUS MILLIA: Not having a place to be 'human' made you decide to become 'superhuman'… how noble… VERSUS BAIKEN: I'm not sure the swords I wield are strictly Katanas… but I still desire their strength as such… VERSUS ANJI: You dodged my attacks like they were nothing to you… you have a lot of skill… VERSUS BEDMAN?: Your brother taught me the value in being unique… I will never forget that lesson. VERSUS TESTAMENT: I've never encountered a Gear like you before… and you are very mild mannered as well… VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: I'm aware that some rare humans are blessed with unnatural strength… but you've surpassed that limit, you know. VERSUS BRIDGET: It seems like every day I encounter new and unique people… VERSUS JACK-O': To be like a 'Mother' or 'Sister'… I'm still learning what Family is supposed to be like… VERSUS I-NO: Maybe I'm in no position to say, but: you lost track of what it means to be Human and isolated yourself. VERSUS SIN: It's important to respect peoples' uniqueness, Sin… you can't… "copy people's moves"… (?) VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: Friendship involves the strength to support those who cannot support themselves… I am strong enough to support you if you need me. VERSUS CHAOS: Someone irresponsible like you created Mother… it is no wonder she rejected humans… VERSUS ASUKA#: I've been told I am a replica of Justice, but we look nothing alike… how does it feel to look identical yet be different? VERSUS ASUKA: It is not my place to say if your role in history was Divine or not… But if you hadn't I wouldn't have existed, so I offer my thanks.

Potemkin VERSUS SELF: Conviction, Pride, Strength… If you only focused on even two of these concepts it still wouldn't be enough to surpass me. VERSUS SOL: There was a time when I struggled to keep up with you, but it seems that Time has caught up with you at last. VERSUS KY: It is thanks to you in part that I continue to fight the good fight, so I offer my thanks. VERSUS AXL: My simulations can't seem to predict where your portals will appear next. You're an enigma to me. VERSUS GIOVANNA: Despite your hard-tack demeanor, you have the sincerity of a true soldier, it serves you well. VERSUS MAY: It takes a great deal of focus to master Water Magic, you've grown since last we met. VERSUS CHIPP: It's impressive that you've finally begun to take responsibility for your actions… but your personality is still rather abrasive. VERSUS FAUST: I know little about what sort of past you had, but refining yourself to this extent is dangerous… VERSUS RAMLETHAL: You've become someone very significant since last we met… Your strength is comparable to mine now… VERSUS LEO: For a King you are very honest… I can respect that. VERSUS ZATO: Your perception of others has changed a lot… Impressive, even if limited by eyesight. VERSUS MILLIA: I would ask that you maintain your distance from Leon Mining, he has his own agenda as a former Zepp Exile. VERSUS BAIKEN: Forgiving the past is not something easily done, however what you've done is calm the storm in your heart with the feelings of others… Commendable. VERSUS ANJI: You always struck me as unconcerned with others, but in reality you seek the Truth that History has hidden. VERSUS BEDMAN?: The President taught me to grow from my past failings, but I somewhat feel guilty facing them like this… If you need repairs, let me know… I will assist you. VERSUS TESTAMENT: There was a point when both of us fought one another mercilessly, but now you've mellowed out some… The World has become more peaceful, hasn't it? VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: I must admit… your strength pushed me back quite a distance… But I won't back down! VERSUS BRIDGET: If you struggle to be acknowledged, simply be yourself… others will see you eventually. VERSUS JACK-O': So the power of your Servants comes from the Backyard… I've learned something new. VERSUS I-NO: There was a time when I lamented being called a "monster", but compared to you… "being human" is a lot more complicated than people think it is. VERSUS SIN: I wield my strength for those who need to be protected by it… Your strength still requires a solid direction. VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: Fear is the rejection of the unknown, which makes it all more important to gain knowledge of that unknown. You should seek to learn more about the modern world you've found yourself in. VERSUS CHAOS: I suspect you have ulterior motives for doing everything you did, but none of that can truly justify it. VERSUS ASUKA#: At one point I fought Robotic replicas of myself… embarassing as it is to admit, but I still overcame them. VERSUS ASUKA: So you've resolved to clear away all doubts and dangers, sparing no expense… I cannot say I have that kind of fortitude.

Leo Whitefang VERSUS SELF: I've a new ENTRY IN MY DICTIONARY for YOU: A POSER! VERSUS SOL: I took your advice to heart and improved my defenses… but I must say as usual you are hard to talk to during a fight. VERSUS KY: I want EVERY NEWSPAPER IN ILLYRIA to have this Fight on the FRONT PAGE! VERSUS AXL: You might have the ability to Teleport, but that doesn't mean I'll condone you appearing… in my office. VERSUS GIOVANNA: I must admit this is the first time someone has appealed to my ego so passionately… I'm somewhat taken aback! VERSUS MAY: You've a misunderstanding about me… I am NOT HERE to simply "boss people around"… I'm HERE BECAUSE… (She walked away… How RUDE!) VERSUS CHIPP: While it is true your Speed is worthy of Note… where you appear AFTER you've speed up is rather PREDICTABLE. VERSUS FAUST: Are you sure you yourself don't need an Ambulance? You look ready to topple over at any moment! VERSUS RAMLETHAL: I see you've found yourself a good team of subordinates… I hope they serve you well… VERSUS POTEMKIN: I don't actually 'hate' Gears, you know… It's just in my job description to not normally trust them… VERSUS ZATO: Whether you can see me or Not:… I HAVE BOTH MY EYES ON YOU AT ALL TIMES. VERSUS MILLIA: I didn't expect to find such a capable subordinate such as yourself… I look forward to working with you in the future… VERSUS BAIKEN: In truth, Humans nearly created their own demise, as painful and humiliating as that is to point out. VERSUS ANJI: So you've got your own Investigation underway? I'd ask you to show your hand, and if you're lucky, I might just show MINE! VERSUS BEDMAN?: I understand you have complicated circumstances… but there is a LIMIT to how IMPERTINENT one LITTLE GIRL CAN BE! VERSUS TESTAMENT: So it seems you knew Commander Kliff in times past… Maybe we can catch up on old times? VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: I've never actually taken stock of all the "unmentionables" that fell in to Area 42… So, how is Area 51 in your country? VERSUS BRIDGET: Dedicating yourself to the Ideals of your Parents, while commendable, should still have its limitations… I hope someday you'll face that fact. VERSUS JACK-O': You're a lot stronger than Frederick gives you credit… Keep him out of trouble for us, please… VERSUS I-NO: Normally I would have Arrested you under normal regulations… But this is FAR from a Normal situation! VERSUS SIN: You're not quite exactly what I'd call a Phalanx Guard, but with some training I hope you'll fit the part! VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: I don't think I have an entry on "Bushido" in my Dictionary yet… Let's see: "Doesn't know when to stop". How's that? VERSUS CHAOS: It seems to me I haven't proven how much of a BEAST I can really be… I'll have to make an EXAMPLE out of YOU! VERSUS ASUKA#: In case you didn't know, we have a statute of limitations on cloning… I can STILL ARREST YOU. VERSUS ASUKA: I can't say I'm very fond of Math… or Magic for that matter… BUT I WON AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS!

Zato=ONE VERSUS SELF: Even in Eddie's case, he strove to differentiate himself from me and become unique. What about you? VERSUS SOL: Death holds little meaning to someone who has seen Hell multiple times… VERSUS KY: Although my sins have piled up… thanks to you and King Daryl I can at least reduce the stack somewhat. VERSUS AXL: A past long gone and a future that should not be… and yet you continue to support this world after it rejected you… VERSUS GIOVANNA: Eddie is closer to a 'shark' than a Dog, at least by my estimation… he can take any form he likes, after all… VERSUS MAY: Shadows can still exist in the Ocean, so I hope you won't underestimate my abilities… VERSUS CHIPP: It was not my intent to kill your Master Tsuyoshi… I will atone for the rest of my life for it, however… VERSUS FAUST: I sacrificed my eyesight for power… but I see there was even more to sacrifice if I ever wanted more… VERSUS RAMLETHAL: Your strength and sense of identity has improved… I hardly recognize you from before. VERSUS POTEMKIN: I must thank you for your President's Hospitality from last time… He saved the world, after all… VERSUS LEO: Even if my life is in your hands… I would have still given it freely… I deserve to die for what I've done. VERSUS MILLIA: Accepting that you can protect your own life has been hard for me… But I hope you'll still accept my intentions. VERSUS BAIKEN: It is a bizarre sensation to be the object of vengeance and yet still not share the desire of revenge myself… VERSUS ANJI: For once you have your own sincere objectives, it goes against your very nature… VERSUS BEDMAN?: Bedman was once one of my greatest enemies… But that conflict was resolved, so I will leave it in the past. VERSUS TESTAMENT: So even a Ghost of the Crusades can still talk of Family and a Future… what a world we now live in. VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: So they really DO exist… I had almost given up searching… VERSUS BRIDGET: Your precision and cunning are not to be underestimated, but somehow I doubt a fight is what you wanted. VERSUS JACK-O': Your presence is familiar to me… as if I or Eddie met you in some other lifetime… VERSUS I-NO: I gave up human traits for power because I looked down upon myself… perhaps the same is true in your case. VERSUS SIN: You have an insight that belies your age… But trusting in the darkness is still not without risk. VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: Lord Slayer taught me Dandyism at a young age, however I must admit you have me at a disadvantage for having practiced the philosophy for much longer… VERSUS CHAOS: It seems you are the foremost authority on Magic despite your reputation. I would talk at length with you about it, not that it matters. VERSUS ASUKA#: Eddie is an approximate copy of my Soul, in case you wondered… not that it actually matters… VERSUS ASUKA: If I had known the true potential of the Tome of Origin, perhaps I would not have been misled by the Conclave for believing in the 666 Arcanum's power… In the end, it no longer matters…

Millia Rage VERSUS SELF: I never asked for this power, but I will take responsibility for it. Can you say the same, yourself? VERSUS SOL: At this point you might as well retire… Don't worry, I'll cover the paperwork… VERSUS KY: So now it's my job to keep you on your toes, is that it? You're pretty easy-going for a King… VERSUS AXL: We've both been through quite a lot, but I would appreciate it if you took this a bit more seriously… VERSUS GIOVANNA: They say meeting new people broadens horizons, but at the very least I expect some manners… VERSUS MAY: So you've begun to work with the Mobile Brigade? We expect big things from you… VERSUS CHIPP: Your insight and instincts still amaze me, but you need to work on your patience with others… VERSUS FAUST: Don't think I've forgotten what you've tried to do to save me… I won't forget my debt. VERSUS RAMLETHAL: Your strength and abilities are amazing, but what amazes me more is your current work ethic… looks like I have a new rival now! VERSUS POTEMKIN: We still owe you and Gabriel much for harboring us in our time of need… let's both keep working towards a better future. VERSUS LEO: Even if it's just superficial, I can't imagine you holding back against anyone… then again, I'm like that too. VERSUS ZATO: Protecting someone skilled means covering their blindspots you know… Can you even find mine, I wonder? VERSUS BAIKEN: I have much to make up for in my past, even if it means easing your pain somewhat… I'll do what I can. VERSUS ANJI: You tend to remind me of a certain Dandy Vampire who sticks his nose in other peoples' business… I'd stay out of things if I were you. VERSUS BEDMAN?: After all this time, I finally get to see the monster that Venom destroyed… Don't worry, I'm not here to gloat, just understanding. VERSUS TESTAMENT: So what has living in an ancient forest taught you after all this time? I hope you learned something at least… VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: America's Home Security still has a few gaps, but in your hands I'm still somewhat optimistic. VERSUS BRIDGET: The original purpose of the P.W.A.B. was to support Bounty Hunters in their task… I'm looking forward to working with you. VERSUS JACK-O': For someone who hasn't seen much of the world, you're pretty skilled… Have you considered becoming a Bounty Hunter, yourself? VERSUS I-NO: I haven't forgotten how you manipulated Eddie in the past… don't expect any mercy from Angra, either! VERSUS SIN: So you're a Phalanx Guard, now? You really should act the part more… Professionalism is important, you know. VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: I'm still not all that interested in Dandyism… but I somewhat understand the Romantic appeal Vampires have towards it. VERSUS CHAOS: To think someone could still wield Guns like a Gunslinger in this modern age… Venom would be thrilled if I told him about your skills! VERSUS ASUKA#: At this point you'd think I'd be able to clone myself with my own hair… but I really don't want to think about it. VERSUS ASUKA: So you're the holder of the Tome of Origin… Do you think it's possible to undo the Curse on my Hair?

Baiken VERSUS SELF: I gave up on my journey to Hell recently, thanks to a certain 'mirror'… Can you look at yourself in the mirror and do that too? VERSUS SOL: You'd think I'd be mad after all this time of putting up with you… But right now I'm just disappointed. VERSUS KY: You were always getting in my way whenever it came to vengeance… I suppose I should thank you for that. VERSUS AXL: All the power in the world and you still can't figure out how to fight properly? Keep training… VERSUS GIOVANNA: Looks like I wasn't the only one dealing with poverty and a past I want to forget… VERSUS MAY: Just because I owe you for your help last time, Short-stack, doesn't mean you get a FREE WIN… VERSUS CHIPP: I've lost track:… you're an American Ninja living in Africa… who thinks he's JAPANESE??? VERSUS FAUST: You burned yourself out looking for the perfect balance, eh? Guess I know what to avoid from now on. VERSUS RAMLETHAL: To think just a month ago you were trying to destroy the world… you've changed a lot, kid. VERSUS POTEMKIN: I'm guessing all that heavy armor is meant to help you "hold back your strength"? Can't say I don't sympathize, but I can't hold back, either. VERSUS LEO: I'm used to getting chased around by the Police, but this is the first time someone's asked me to give a consultation? VERSUS ZATO: So even a dead corpse like you can find peace in this world… Guess I should smile more often! VERSUS MILLIA: Your hair's gotten sharper… can't even trim it with my sword… Then again, I'm not a barber… VERSUS ANJI: I suggest you not hold back against me if you want to live… Holding back's not something I'm good at with this sword. VERSUS BEDMAN?: C'mon Delilah… Training Time's over… lets get some Dinner… VERSUS TESTAMENT: I can't say I'm fond of European Tea… I prefer Sake (Rice Wine) to be honest… VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: I've killed my share of Demons… but you're bigger than most Oni… what'd you eat to grow that huge? VERSUS BRIDGET: Look, kiddo… you're too young to be worrying about such huge problems… relax a little. VERSUS JACK-O': I used to hold a grudge against Justice for taking my family… but now she's gone and there's just you left, hunh… I don't have it in me anymore… VERSUS I-NO: Pain is proof of being human as a survivor… If you can't handle it, you shouldn't be fighting in the first place… VERSUS SIN: You have a WEIRD outlook on life, Sin… But I suppose that's what everyone likes about you. VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: My sword's called "Regret" because it'd be regrettable to cut anyone at this point… It's a broken Katana. VERSUS CHAOS: I won't kill you… but that doesn't mean I'll ever Forgive you… and you WILL pay for what you did. VERSUS ASUKA#: So Demons and Shadows walk hand in hand… You seem to have a lot of time on your hands… VERSUS ASUKA: So you had a hard choice to make in the end… If it weren't for Anji and his hard-headedness, I would've cut you down without learning the truth.

Anji Mito VERSUS SELF: I move with the flow of Nature itself… Your dance can barely make the wind blow. VERSUS SOL: You really should get used to hanging around other people… Being that unsociable is unhealthy. VERSUS KY: I used to think of you as uptight and strict, but I guess everyone changes when their priorities do. VERSUS AXL: I used to outpace you in foot-races, but now I can barely keep up… Where'd you even get that power? VERSUS GIOVANNA: You're not the ONLY ONE with God-like Feet, you know… VERSUS MAY: You've gotten even MORE cheerful since last we spoke… I'm glad things are going well for you! VERSUS CHIPP: Boss… now that I've won this match, can I get raise? VERSUS FAUST: Unfortunately, my dance can only calm the spirit, it cannot heal the body. Take care. VERSUS RAMLETHAL: If you're wondering how I dodged your attacks, it's because you kept attacking in the same spot. VERSUS POTEMKIN: So long as I stay outside your main range, I have plenty of chances to fight back… VERSUS LEO: For a King, despite your strength you're pretty sensitive… You should toughen up your Spirit and Heart… VERSUS ZATO: Perhaps I should add "Shadow Dancer" to my list of skills from now on! VERSUS MILLIA: The problem with your attacks is that the opponent just has to guess correctly and counter to win… VERSUS BAIKEN: I promised you I'd find out the Truth… and I mean to keep that promise. VERSUS BEDMAN?: Delilah, you have no idea how much you remind me of Big Sis… it's uncanny… VERSUS TESTAMENT: You've become more Human-like since we last spoke… I'm glad you've lightened up. VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: I'm gonna find out what they've hidden in Area 51 one day… and I'll let the WORLD KNOW… VERSUS BRIDGET: Dancing and Tricks aren't the only things that bring a smile to someone's face… so does Kindness and Heart. VERSUS JACK-O': You've had to face the world from many angles and still come out as yourself. My condolences. VERSUS I-NO: When you're a victim, that doesn't give you an excuse to do what you want… it means you have to face the truth and keep on moving forward with respect to others. You're not alone. VERSUS SIN: I can't say I agree with the notion of copying others' moves… but if you make it your own style, it might give you a chance to break out and get recognized. VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: I know I sound like a little kid, but I really DO love Samurai and Bushido… you're just really COOL! VERSUS CHAOS: If you think you can escape, go ahead and try… but no matter what Alias you try to steal, I'll always know it's you… and you won't EVER get away from me. VERSUS ASUKA#: Last time we spoke, I had a feeling I didn't have a good sense of who you were… Was it a Copy I was talking to the whole time? VERSUS ASUKA: I'm actually really glad I finally got to talk with you… It's been an enlightening experience.

Bedman? VERSUS SELF: (Delilah): I can't tell if this is Mine or my Brother's power at work… But you gotta disappear now. VERSUS SOL: (Delilah): My brother actually lectured you!? He always told me he HATED long conversations! VERSUS KY: (Delilah): My brother gave me a chance to live in this world, so I'm gonna make the best of it… Maybe I'll become someone important like you… VERSUS AXL: (Delilah): Thanks for talking with my brother despite his situation… It means a lot. VERSUS GIOVANNA: (Delilah): Look, you got your business I've got mine… I just wanna go home. VERSUS MAY: (Delilah): I'm NOT INTERESTED in being your friend… just leave me alone… VERSUS CHIPP: (Delilah): My brother suggested you were fast enough to keep up with his Teleports, guess not though… VERSUS FAUST: (Delilah): So your Guilty Conscience led you to me… We both got our circumstances, I guess… VERSUS RAMLETHAL: (Delilah): I can see how my Brother entrusted his Bed's fate to you… you were strong enough. VERSUS POTEMKIN: (Delilah): My Brother beat you last time? Well, now I really feel sorry for you. VERSUS LEO: (Delilah): Oh great… now it's destroyed a King… am I gonna get arrested for this??? VERSUS ZATO: (Delilah): I can't picture a deadpan guy like you having a grudge against my Brother… VERSUS MILLIA: (Delilah): I'm not interested in joining your underground clubhouse… I just want to go home! VERSUS BAIKEN: (Delilah): Big Sis, you gotta keep your promise… Dinner is on YOU! VERSUS ANJI: (Delilah): You might not be like my Brother, but, thanks for helping me out… VERSUS TESTAMENT: (Delilah): You love sticking your nose in other peoples' business… how annoying… VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: (Delilah): This isn't a UMA… it's just a Bed… No, you can't "collect" it. VERSUS BRIDGET: (Delilah): If the Bed won that means I don't have to pay for your "trick". VERSUS JACK-O': (Delilah): So my Brother "erased his ID" in the Backyard? What else do you know about him? VERSUS I-NO: (Delilah): Maybe you feel like the world owes you something, but the world took MY brother, too! VERSUS SIN: (Delilah): You get along with everybody… I'm just not strong enough to do that… VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: (Delilah): This was an accident, I swear… We'll be leaving now… Wait, you want to learn the Bedframe's fighting style? Huh!? VERSUS CHAOS: (Delilah): No matter how many lives you think you'll save… you'll never make up for the lives you TOOK. And I will NEVER… EVER… ACKNOWLEDGE you. VERSUS ASUKA#: (Delilah): You'd think I'd be used to all the weird stuff in this world… Nope… VERSUS ASUKA: (Delilah): So Chaos messed up your life, too, huh? He needs to be stopped…

Testament VERSUS SELF: Have we evolved to the point of being able to replicate ourselves? Gear Cell potential seems limitless! VERSUS SOL: We used to think you had no room for others in your life… But you've changed a lot. VERSUS KY: We still think about Father (Kliff) now and then… He was like a father to you too, wasn't he? VERSUS AXL: We'll confess we still don't like your fighting style and methods, but at least you resemble a true Reaper more… VERSUS GIOVANNA: No time for Tea? Americans are always in such a rush… VERSUS MAY: We've never actually thanked you for how much you've helped us, so we really appreciate it. VERSUS CHIPP: You think we're being "too normal"? But humans are pretty strange to begin with. VERSUS FAUST: All those years past when we entrusted that Scalpel to you, we never expected you to master it so well… VERSUS RAMLETHAL: We've fought our share of fellow Gears, but this is our first time encountering a Valentine… it feels different somehow… VERSUS POTEMKIN: We've certainly had a long history between ourselves… It is our hope we can become friends at long last… VERSUS LEO: We never expected an encounter with royalty to be so… frivolous… VERSUS ZATO: We've wanted to sit down and have a conversation with both of you after all this time… the Crusades left a mark on all of us. VERSUS MILLIA: We're sorry but we don't have an immediate answer for your Curse… But we will try and help search for one. VERSUS BAIKEN: We used to think revenge was the only answer too… After all this time so much has changed… VERSUS ANJI: When we still hated humans, we never considered the possibility that they would try to meet us half way… You were one of the first to try that, so thanks. VERSUS BEDMAN?: A machine with a mind of its own? Well, it's not the first time I've encountered odd beings like yourself. VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: We have NO INTENTION on being locked away in some VAULT, thank you very much! VERSUS BRIDGET: Whether others accept the difference or not isn't as important as accepting your individuality for yourself. VERSUS JACK-O': You feel similar yet different to our old Master (Justice) somehow… You are much kinder than she was, which is for the best. VERSUS I-NO: As an individual we once longed for our past as a human, but we never regretted continuing to live. Consider your own value. VERSUS SIN: As we were SAYING: There is value in training for self-improvement, but it would be best if you focused and studied more. VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: We didn't mean to treat you like a spectacle, but we couldn't help but be curious about a Human who became a Vampire! VERSUS CHAOS: Having the World's Wrath directed at you might seem like the correct course, but we have other opinions on the matter… VERSUS ASUKA#: It was the Bureau (P.W.A.B.) that turned us in to a Gear, but we don't exactly know which Scientist it was for certain… sound familiar? VERSUS ASUKA: We still have to thank you for saving us from a life of mediocrity… Giving Gears more power than they are created for is uncommon, if not extremely rare.

Goldlewis Dickinson VERSUS SELF: Sorry but, dressing like me isn't gonna give you clearance… I'm going to have to escort you off the premises… VERSUS SOL: We were chasing a ghost like you for years, it seems like… It's just too bad I didn't get to finally arrest you for Breaking and Entering! VERSUS KY: It's an honor, your highness… But I still have my own Duty to serve, if you don't mind. VERSUS AXL: Are you SURE you're not a Cryptid? Those powers of yours say otherwise… VERSUS GIOVANNA: Back to your post, soldier… Secretary's Orders. VERSUS MAY: You'd think I'd be conscientious about wielding a heavy weapon, but seeing a young kid like you… It's encouraging somehow… VERSUS CHIPP: Sorry, it's Erica's orders… you're to report to base, like it or not! VERSUS FAUST: Personal Report: UMA encountered… Capture successful… Unsure of UMA's condition… VERSUS RAMLETHAL: Never thought the world's most wanted little girl would end up becoming a Soldier for the Good Guys… It's an honor. VERSUS POTEMKIN: As you can see, I don't budge, despite my age. I hope you've learned something new today. VERSUS LEO: For a King you're pretty relaxed… I can appreciate that. VERSUS ZATO: For a while there I really did think of you as a UMA, until I read that P.W.A.B. report on you… you really ARE a ghost. VERSUS MILLIA: It's definitely a tough job in this line of work, but earning your keep will pay off eventually. VERSUS BAIKEN: If I was a bit younger I might've liked meeting someone classy like you, it's too bad we didn't meet sooner… VERSUS ANJI: No matter what theories you cook up, I'm not talkin'… It's in the job description. VERSUS BEDMAN?: Sorry little lady, I sometimes can't hold back my own strength… Is your… uh… pet… okay? VERSUS TESTAMENT: Death hasn't quite kissed me just yet… But she's held me in her arms and danced a few times… VERSUS BRIDGET: I try my best not to make assumptions, but it also helps to have friends who'll believe in you. VERSUS JACK-O': I've chased and bagged my share of poltergeists, ma'am, but even so, you're pretty spooky! VERSUS I-NO: Even if it looks like the world turns it back on you, you can still face the music on your own terms. VERSUS SIN: You've got guts and potential, kid… Still, you might want something better than a flag pole to fight with… VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: I've read my share of history books, but I never met someone like YOU raised as a Japanese before… Y'learn somethin' new every day… VERSUS CHAOS: I've caught my share of bounty marks, but you take the cake. You're not gonna EVER leave your cage AGAIN. VERSUS ASUKA#: I've heard stories that there were multiple "Men" behind the Crusades, but are you sure you're not a UMA? VERSUS ASUKA: Given the circumstances and who you are, I can't just let you roam scott free… I have to keep an eye on you, you understand…

Bridget VERSUS SELF: Trying to steal my tricks is gonna cost you EXTRA, you know! VERSUS SOL: Sorry for thinking you still had a bounty on your head… Fake bounties are way too confusing! VERSUS KY: I promise! I'll put on a show at your Castle that'll impress the whole crowd! VERSUS AXL: I have a lot of tricks, but "disappearing" isn't one of them… I should study Magic more… VERSUS GIOVANNA: Threat assessment? I'm not a threat! These are just Yo-yos… "Street Legal Permit"? What's that? VERSUS MAY: Maybe someday I'll become an OFFICIAL MEMBER of the Jellyfish~! Is that hoping for too much? Do I STILL need Johnny's approval? VERSUS CHIPP: Despite what others may think, these AREN'T NINJA WEAPONS… I don't know where those rumors started… VERSUS FAUST: Sorry, but… I'm not ready for a Physical Examination just yet… VERSUS RAMLETHAL: Roger says he wants to look at your swords… Don't worry, we won't do anything to them… VERSUS POTEMKIN: I actually haven't completed a 'World Tour' enough to go back to Zepp for an encore… Maybe one day… VERSUS LEO: Sorry but… I don't reveal my tricks to anyone… not even ROYALTY! Hehe~! VERSUS ZATO: You had a bounty on your head, but records said you were dead… what's going on here??? VERSUS MILLIA: I'm still a bounty hunter despite moonlighting as an entertainer… but sorry, I won't be so easily scouted. VERSUS BAIKEN: If I've made you smile even ONCE today… I've done my job! VERSUS ANJI: Are you sure you've never wanted to work in Entertainment? You have the physical muscles for it. VERSUS BEDMAN?: Roger says: "No hard feelings." I hope that's okay by you. VERSUS TESTAMENT: You used to be so grumpy… I'm so glad you've brightened up! VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: We talked a lot… but I hope you get to talk with your brother someday… I hope I get to talk with my brother too! VERSUS JACK-O': Wow… how do you move like that? Are you an acrobat? How did you train? VERSUS I-NO: There were times when I hated the whole world too, but… hate isn't good for your heart. VERSUS SIN: I don't actually mean to use these as weapons you know… and no, you can't copy MY moves either! VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: You've never seen a Yo-Yo before? REALLY!? Wow… Where've you lived all this time? VERSUS CHAOS: Not all plots have to be dramatic and tragic, you know… A good entertainer knows when to brighten the crowd… VERSUS ASUKA#: I'm not quite sure I get it, but you're a… copy? Well, I'm a copy of my brother too, I guess, since we're Twins and all… VERSUS ASUKA: Sorry, but you can't dismantle my Yo-Yos… I've put a patent on them (good thing I took Sol's advice)…

Jack-O'Valentine VERSUS SELF: Synchronizing with my other self might seem beneficial, but as expected, Aria hasn't reacted to it. VERSUS SOL: You're "retired" so start acting like it, you hear me! VERSUS KY: Thanks for the advice… Thinking I wasn't human was getting in the way of actually BEING human… VERSUS AXL: So you've finally found your niche and someone you cared for… I'm so glad for you! VERSUS GIOVANNA: It took a while for me to accept who I am… You've got a strong heart to accept yourself so quickly… VERSUS MAY: I never thought you'd get this strong… even Justice would be impressed! (Oops, I shouldn't say that…) VERSUS CHIPP: It's just a theory, but you have the potential to exceed the sound barrier! VERSUS FAUST: Perhaps if I had dedicated my life to others more, I might've ended up like yourself… scary to think about. VERSUS RAMLETHAL: I suppose you can think of me as an "older sister", despite my memory records, that is… VERSUS POTEMKIN: I never knew you were an artist as well as a pilot… I really should get myself a new hobby… VERSUS LEO: I have nearly 200 years of knowledge on history, but I've never actually compared it to what's in books… VERSUS ZATO: We would've been enemies in another time and place… but I'm so glad the Great War is long over… VERSUS MILLIA: I've never heard about the Crusades from your perspective… What was it like, living in Darkness for so long? VERSUS BAIKEN: I'll never make up for that destructive past of mine… But I'll do my best anyhow… VERSUS ANJI: You're the first person I've ever met who wasn't afraid of Justice… Just what is your perspective on history? VERSUS BEDMAN?: Oops! My servants overdid it, didn't they? Sorry, they got over-protective. VERSUS TESTAMENT: I can't say I have many past memories of you (as a Gear), but I'm sorry you had to bear that burden… VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: Sorry but, these little guys aren't aliens… I summoned them from the Backyard… "Where's that?" you ask??? VERSUS BRIDGET: I've never actually thought about working as an Entertainer… Frederick doesn't want to draw any crowds… VERSUS I-NO: You fought so hard for a past you lost… But for me, I can't afford to focus just on myself… VERSUS SIN: Erm… for the record, I'm not exactly your "grandmother"… But well, we are family, anyway… VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: Maybe if I had had more courage like you, history might have changed… VERSUS CHAOS: I'll be the first to admit I made mistakes in my own past… But being irresponsible isn't the way to do things! VERSUS ASUKA#: I'll admit, chasing down the original Asuka is kinda fun… It's like Hide and Seek! VERSUS ASUKA: Frederick still has a hard time accepting everything you did… Please give him more time…

I-No VERSUS SELF: I don't have the TIME for bootlegs, you understand… VERSUS SOL: You gave up all that power just to keep living with someone… If only I had met someone like you sooner… VERSUS KY: Sorry, but can you give your "Holy Crusade" a rest, please… You're getting annoying… (I should've never changed his timeline…) VERSUS AXL: You could never maintain a true duet with me, dear… VERSUS GIOVANNA: Can't say I've ever listened to much Brazillian Heavy Metal before… Can you keep up with my thrashing, though? VERSUS MAY: All that noise you're making isn't music… it's just noise! VERSUS CHIPP: Your tempo isn't even consistent… you're not even improvising properly! VERSUS FAUST: I should've left your corpse back in the old timeline… VERSUS RAMLETHAL: No matter how many times I tried to kill you, you kept coming back… This is getting too boring… VERSUS POTEMKIN: In one timeline, I almost became a soldier like you… glad I changed my tune! VERSUS LEO: You couldn't even hum a marching theme right… How sad… VERSUS ZATO: Doom Metal just isn't my thing… VERSUS MILLIA: So there's even people like you who accept the life of a monster… while I'm still trying to become "human". VERSUS BAIKEN: Can't say I've tried to play a Shamisen… maybe next time… VERSUS ANJI: Wind Instroments just don't do it for me anymore… VERSUS BEDMAN?: Sorry if I "broke" your "toy", kid… Ahahahah~! VERSUS TESTAMENT: Death Metal is up there on my list, but I'll play my OWN music, thanks! VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: Sorry, but I'm just not fond of COUNTRY music! Hahah! VERSUS BRIDGET: Nowadays you have to "risk your life" in Show-Business~! VERSUS JACK-O': You think you're special just because the world gave you a chance? Try looking at things from MY perspective… I never GOT a past! VERSUS SIN: You wouldn't exist if I didn't change the timeline for dear old dad… You should be thanking me~ VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: For a bodyguard you sure don't do your job properly… Then again, you could barely scratch me… VERSUS CHAOS: Just because you're a sacrifice doesn't mean I owe you anything… Don't forget your deal in all this… VERSUS ASUKA#: So changing the timeline can even grant him THIS kind of power… How interesting… VERSUS ASUKA: I've finally caught up to you… You're going to be serving ME from now on, bookworm…

Sin Kiske VERSUS SELF: THE MAN IN THE MIRROR IS BACK AGAIN… God, just leave me alone! VERSUS SOL: Old man, THIS TIME, you owe me a STEAK! Extra Salt and Sugar, please! VERSUS KY: Dad, you really should try this recipe… Trust me, it'll taste GREAT! VERSUS AXL: Man you're getting good at disappearing, Uncle Axl… How'd you get so tricky? VERSUS GIOVANNA: So like… that Dog on your shoulder, does he eat meat too? VERSUS MAY: If I ever wanted to go swimming my old man would just throw me off an airship in the nearby ocean… It was fun the first few times… VERSUS CHIPP: So, I gotta ask… what does being a Ninja have to do with saying Haikus? Do Haikus make you stronger? VERSUS FAUST: Whoah… you've gotten really thin since I last saw you… you eating right, doc? VERSUS RAMLETHAL: You're so much better at math than me… how'd you get so smart, anyway? VERSUS POTEMKIN: It was a shock the first time I found out you were human… What exactly did you EAT to grow that huge? VERSUS LEO: So you're a king like my Dad… They aren't overworking you at the castle, are they? Do they make you run across the whole continent like my old man does? VERSUS ZATO: Well, even if someone tricks me… as long as they can get a better life out of the deal, it's worth it. VERSUS MILLIA: I can't picture my mom wearing your hairstyles… Wait, my mom's hair can do that TOO!?? VERSUS BAIKEN: Getting used to Gears probably took you some time, right? Well, getting used to humans took a while for me, too. VERSUS ANJI: To be honest I prefer running, climbing, and jumping over dancing… VERSUS BEDMAN?: We've been through a lot, but if I can help maybe we can track down where the rest of your "brother" went… VERSUS TESTAMENT: I used to think the old man was the scariest "Gear" I'd ever met… but I guess I have to meet more people and get stronger yet… VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: So did you have kids when you lost your eye? What? The eyepatch is FAKE!? You tricked me! You shouldn't lie to your kids… YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS!?? VERSUS BRIDGET: I've gotten used to being around unusual people, really… But you're pretty normal… You're the first person I've met to smile like that… VERSUS JACK-O': Don't get me wrong… I'm not just copying the old man's moves… I'm gonna put a whole new SPIN on 'em… Prepare to be amazed! VERSUS I-NO: Just because my Lightning's black doesn't mean I'm black-hearted… Do you even get what I'm saying… You don't have to live that way… VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: Onigiri? Do you put hot sauce on it? What about meatballs? Or, I know… dip it in SALT and SUGAR… VERSUS CHAOS: My old man said some old guy broke the state of the world to make it this way… I get the feeling it was you… VERSUS ASUKA#: If I run fast enough, I can see a copy of myself… No, that's not quite right… Let me try again… VERSUS ASUKA: I get that the old man has some history with you, but you seem like a nice guy to me… Sorry but… that Math stuff is over my head…

Nagoriyuki VERSUS SELF: To keep my Bloodlust Sealed, you had to be made manifest… I guess I must cut down ALL my desires… VERSUS SOL: I never expected to encounter a man as brazenly strong as you… I suppose I should be thankful for the fortune as a Vampire… VERSUS KY: So even a gentle soul like yours must carry a burden of power… But if I have helped temper you, I'm glad to assist. VERSUS AXL: I've lived long enough to be considered having lived in the past and the future… but I suppose it's not the same for your case… an entirely new reality… how intriguing… VERSUS GIOVANNA: Despite our duel, you held back… I understand where you are coming from, but I'm not sure I can reciprocate… VERSUS MAY: You fight with strong emotions, but at the same time want to maintain peace… I wish you could have met my Master… VERSUS CHIPP: Master Tsuyoshi from what I remember was a private man… but he still sought to teach others for their benefit… I would have you teach me what you've learned as well… VERSUS FAUST: To think that even a Doctor in the Medical Arts could also be so skilled in the Fighting Arts… you astound me… VERSUS RAMLETHAL: Perhaps if I had met someone as strong as you in my own past, I would not have made so many mistakes… It's regrettable… VERSUS POTEMKIN: You bear such burdens proudly, almost without a care… but I can see you still seek strength… If I can, I offer my services… VERSUS LEO: For someone who fought so valiantly, you seem to have suffered a great deal… I would hear your story… VERSUS ZATO: My understanding of Dandyism is a bit vaguer than you might anticipate… I am actually out of practice… VERSUS MILLIA: So you chose to serve others in order to find your place… I can sympathize, my past was similar… VERSUS BAIKEN: Your sword is strong, and your heart… even stronger… I would ask that we train together again some time… VERSUS ANJI: Your frivolity hides a cunning I haven't seen in some time… are you familiar with my Master's history? VERSUS BEDMAN?: While I do not know what past you and your brother suffered, I would ask to hear your story… not just for your sake, but for my own as well… VERSUS TESTAMENT: And they called ME a grim reaper when I fought… I just didn't quite look the part, it seems… VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: I was once tasked to carry a coffin with me wherever I went… I didn't expect someone would take it literally… VERSUS BRIDGET: Your cheerfulness surprises me… despite our battle you continue to seek to impress your techniques… I'm learning something new. VERSUS JACK-O': Despite the fact I sense TWO SOULS inside of you, one appears to be the more dominant one (and there is even a THIRD?)… How exactly did this come about? VERSUS I-NO: You would have me fight for nothing except your desire for power and infamy… I am no one's weapon save my Master's. VERSUS SIN: You wield a pole comparable to the length of my sword… Have you ever considered wielding a spear? You don't know what a spear is??? VERSUS CHAOS: Despite your obsession with humanity I would see to your death a thousand times… and a thousand times more if I must! VERSUS ASUKA#: The mystic arts and sciences confound me, if I'm being honest, I am just a humble warrior by comparison… VERSUS ASUKA: I never knew that your teacher created such a burden on you… If I had, I would have defeated him sooner…

Happy Chaos VERSUS SELF: Oh yeah, I saw this paradox coming a mile away… Just don't expect any favors… VERSUS SOL: This isn't exactly an audition, you know… I'd scrub you from my script if I only knew how… VERSUS KY: I've heard your sob story a billion times at this point… Had to rewrite the script a few times to get it just right though. VERSUS AXL: To keep a scale in balance, you have to make sure both sides have the same weight… the same story… Did that sting a little? VERSUS GIOVANNA: You're the type who doesn't even READ the script… get off my set! VERSUS MAY: I suppose you think bleeding hearts would eat your story up… BORING! VERSUS CHIPP: The fact you saw through to the real me is surprising… but I don't like people who READ SPOILERS FIRST. VERSUS FAUST: Is there even a POINT to giving someone like me a Medical Check-up? Is this a comedy sketch? VERSUS RAMLETHAL: You had your time in the spotlight, but now it's time for the understudy. VERSUS POTEMKIN: Someone like you should be a key grip… get it? Yeah, I'm not good at film jokes. VERSUS LEO: Throwing an amateur script like yours in to my story wouldn't be worth the print… VERSUS ZATO: Maybe in some other lifetime you would've made a great protagonist… guess I was a little slow… VERSUS MILLIA: Sometimes you meet people who were MADE for the big screen… You've got the icy EYES at least… VERSUS BAIKEN: There's always a critic… And there's always someone out there who doesn't watch movies… VERSUS ANJI: Chasing after MY story, are you? I'm afraid I can't let you see the final script… VERSUS BEDMAN?: At this point you two are just a sub-chapter prologue… Now if you'll excuse me I've got more Drama to publish… VERSUS TESTAMENT: We can't exactly have gawking bystanders on to the film set, can we? VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: You've probably got a conspiracy theory or two, I imagine… But I don't believe in any single conclusion… VERSUS BRIDGET: C'mon, SCRAM! AM-SCRAY! Get lost, kid, ya bother me! VERSUS JACK-O': I gotta say I'm impressed with my prized student's handiwork… Just too bad I couldn't tweak your script, myself. VERSUS I-NO: Being Creative isn't easy you know… you need to have a VISION. Ambition is only one part of the creative process. VERSUS SIN: You're one of those family-friendly stories, aren't you? Sorry, but my script is more ambitious than that… VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: I scouted you because your Drama practically writes itself! Even if I'm a dead man, I'd write for you any day… VERSUS ASUKA#: I've seen parodies and characatures before, but this is hardly a rewrite… (he really needs practice). VERSUS ASUKA: History isn't written by peace-lovers… it's written by survivors… Humanity will lose if it doesn't Evolve…

Asuka R# VERSUS SELF: Creating copies of myself, I now see that only the original can give me insight in to my own existence. VERSUS SOL: You noticed that I'm more talkative as a Copy… how perceptive of you… I just wish that animosity was aimed at me. VERSUS KY: With Sol as your rival, did it ever occur to you that such a relationship would galvanize you to the heights of power you now enjoy? VERSUS AXL: Even if I am not the genuine article, I can still relatively look and "act" the part… so you didn't exactly "catch the wrong actor". VERSUS GIOVANNA: The morality of some people confounds me… and I must confess that seeing someone "look defeated" has been refreshing for me. VERSUS MAY: I'm not sure I understand the concept of Love, though I do have concerns… For example, I have a concern for the results of this fight. Was it as edifying for you as it was me? VERSUS CHIPP: I must confess, subterfuge is lost on someone like me, who can use Magic to detect anyone even at long distance. VERSUS FAUST: Most likely I am the last person to end up as a Patient on your Docket. Do forgive my intruding on your schedule. VERSUS RAMLETHAL: My creator was fascinated with the method of your creation, which resulted in ME… though I doubt he created me to be as durable as yourself. VERSUS POTEMKIN: It fascinates me that not even Nature itself can predict the forms it takes… While you are an outlier of Humans, you are a great specimen of one. VERSUS LEO: My creator spent a large amount of time immersed in books, however I can't find myself to continue hiding behind them… Perhaps something is "wrong" with me. VERSUS ZATO: You make your vast knowledge out to be frivolous and meaningless, but in actuality most of what you are aware of STILL has great value. You can thank the Backyard for that. VERSUS MILLIA: I am still seeking my own purpose in this life granted to me, so I can understand your desire to belong. However, I'm not sure I can endure the opinions of others as easily as you do. VERSUS BAIKEN: Perhaps, upon seeing a copy of yourself, you found your own sense of enlightenment? Or was it just a coincidence? I wish I had that kind of fortune. VERSUS ANJI: You seek to be what others call a "friend", and yet you somehow end up getting in to trouble for your efforts… It's unfortunate the world rejects you that way. VERSUS BEDMAN?: If I had understood your brother's powers, perhaps I too would've made an Absolute World of my own… It's strictly speculation, however. VERSUS TESTAMENT: There are many generations of Gears that my Creator is responsible for making, however you weren't among them… I'd like to hear your story. VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: Being aware of your own mystical abilities is usually beneficial, but somehow in your case, the opposite is true. How does that even work??? VERSUS BRIDGET: If the world was as secretive as you about its myths, knowledge, and legends, I fear Science would never make any progress… VERSUS JACK-O': Even if you are a construct… merely existing is its own significance, I hope you'll find your confidence in that. VERSUS I-NO: I suppose I have you to thank for my own existence… if you had not changed the timeline, my creator would have never found the power and abilities to create me. VERSUS SIN: Does a change in perception of the world really work? I can't find any of your logic to make any sense, however I do appreciate the theories you've presented… VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: The real Asuka was never a man of physical efforts, however I am more than the sum of him, but even I must confess you've given me quite the workout… VERSUS CHAOS: The meaning behind "existence"… while I am starting to understand your point of view… your explanation of it is quite lacking… where's your Thesis? VERSUS ASUKA: If I had asked you to "forgive yourself", would you have taken this fight any more seriously? Somehow I doubt this.

Asuka R. Kreutz VERSUS SELF: Not a construct I created: but an actual paradoxical existence from another timeline? When did this event occur and HOW!?!? VERSUS SOL: While I do regret our history… I do not regret saving you, and I will never look back and own up to my responsibility. I hope that will someday satisfy you. VERSUS KY: I've always known Frederick to not be the most likeable of people, but I never knew he was able to inspire others… Thank you for this knowledge. VERSUS AXL: I still haven't taken you up on the idea of going for some Tea and Snacks… I've perfected my materialization method… care to try my recipe? VERSUS GIOVANNA: Your simple methods of using gravity and inertia to increase your damage output are fascinating… Though I have my own ideas and methods. VERSUS MAY: If I could make up for the tragedy of Japan, I would do my utmost to make amends… I hope to meet your expectations one day. VERSUS CHIPP: It never occurred to me that someone born and raised in another culture could have their own culture be completely rewritten… your life story fascinates me. VERSUS FAUST: While I have chosen to atone in my own ways, I cannot make shortcuts or sacrifices hastily… In order to properly atone, I must keep living. VERSUS RAMLETHAL: I must confess I went a little "overboard" when I was inspired by your creation… I'll try to keep out of trouble if I can manage it. VERSUS POTEMKIN: Honor-bound as a soldier, I imagine your history is what made you exactly what you are… and I still seek the truth behind that history as well. VERSUS LEO: I suppose you have every right to resent me for burdening you as I did during the War… But I will do what I can to repent and atone… you have my word. VERSUS ZATO: We both have our roles to play in atonement, don't we? We should both work our hardest, then. VERSUS MILLIA: My condolences to your mother. I am to blame for the loss of many families… I won't ever forget this… I won't ever let history repeat itself on my watch. VERSUS BAIKEN: That day when you came to me, sword drawn, in any other circumstance I would have let you kill me… But now I have a purpose to atone for… and I hope one day you'll find peace at last after learning the Truth. VERSUS ANJI: I owe you my thanks. You were resolute in seeking the truth, and without your insight a lot of history would still be hidden. I am in your debt. VERSUS BEDMAN?: So my teacher is once again to blame for this… I will do everything in my power to make up for this… I swear this to you. VERSUS TESTAMENT: It is a great regret of mine to see other Gears I did not create, but I still hope your lives are not in vain. VERSUS GOLDLEWIS: Fighting an unseen war is something I'm all too familiar with… I hope we both make progress in our objectives. VERSUS BRIDGET: It is almost refreshing to see someone practically unaffected by the past dark history such as yourself… I hope you'll be a beacon to people who need it. VERSUS JACK-O': We were BOTH stubborn in our beliefs, but making mistakes is still a HUMAN TRAIT… Just as making up for them is. VERSUS I-NO: I wish you could have waited for me… just a little longer. I hope your future does get fulfilled, however… VERSUS SIN: The last time we met, you were racing through the Backyard Gate to save Sol… I hope you've been doing well, Sin… Also, Math isn't that scary a concept, trust me… VERSUS NAGORIYUKI: I must say I've never kept much track of the history of Vampires or Nightless such as yourself… I will have to brush up on my history of them. VERSUS CHAOS: I'm afraid I can't let you roam about as you once did in the old days, Teacher… please, cease your actions at once… VERSUS ASUKA#: To be honest, you've surpassed all my expectations… I did not foresee power of this magnitude manifesting, though your lack of morality is worrisome…

[jessiesparkes]

OMG YOU WROTE TWINNING WITH A TWIST!!!

as someone who adores Ella and fully believes Sammy should have been a main character I love love love twintwist (does it have an abbreviation? like how slippery slopes is slipslop? the acronym is TWAT so i don’t wanna call it that lmao ANYWAY)

legit, probably one of my favourite fics. ever? I’ve reread it approximately 50 times I love it so much

it’s honestly a breath of fresh air reading, im going to be honest, most total drama fics in general because. wow what a change, the person who wrote this Actually Cares about the characters. wild. and twintwist is legit just That

the direction you took Ella and how she developed was so unexpected but made so much sense, i love how you took little details from the og season and expanded on them, like the thin apartment walls and her constantly wearing gloves (OOF) (also her Home Situation. did hit me a little personally)

and SAMMY!! omg this is what I mean when I say she should’ve been a main character!! i was cheering her and Ella on literally the whole way

Amy my beloved beloathed. kudos to you for actually giving her depth beyond “she is a bitch because reasons” and her redemption arc actually worked so well I loved it

I love how you wrote the other characters too!! did not realise a Beardo and Sammy friendship was something I desperately needed in my life but now I can never go back, Jashawn were somehow even more adorable and 100x less frustrating, Dave was. honestly a lot less unbearable

Scarlett and Sammy’s conversation in the treehouse is so many layers of fascinating. it lives rent free in my head. like yeah Scarlett was trying to manipulate a situation but like you question how much she genuinely meant the things she said. this is fully just me speculating but the line “romance doesn’t interest me personally” (or words to that effect) really makes me think. because like. that implies she could be romance-repulsed and/or aromantic, right? so when she’s talking to Sammy about how no, a lot of people will not understand Sammy and actively despise her, and it won’t be easy, but they don’t matter, you wonder how much Scarlett’s just BSing and how much she’s drawing from personal experience. she’s definitely not a good person (I processed that when she tried to kill everyone via island explosion) but there’s a LOT more to her than she lets on even post-reveal

speaking of Scarlett, when Sammy arrived on the PDL and found out apparently Scarlett was like in her early 20s masquerading as a teenager and this wasn’t her first run-in with the RCMP

i will confess

my first thought was “wait was she Izzy in disguise?!”

listen I have fully breached the “this is not what god (you) intended this is purely me reaching” zone, but… yeah lmao

ANYWAY I think I have bothered you enough with my ramblings, I’m CrystalHavoc on ao3, so you’ve probably seen all the rest of my Thoughts on ur fic. but i somehow just now found your tumblr so. i guess this is me putting one big notice of appreciation directly in your askbox. as a tdpi enjoyer and Ella-and-Sammy lover i super super love twintwist!!!

and idk how to end this so. yeah thank you!!! for writing it!!! ok bye

Hi there!! Gosh thank you so much for the kind message, I still can't believe I'm getting such high praise for Twinning (what I refer to it as rather than its abbreviation XD) after all this time! And for you to have reread it so many times?? I never realized how much of an effect it had on people :D

To be perfectly honest there are some parts of the fic that I kind of wish I'd done differently, but I'm sure that's what every creator thinks about their work. To this day I am still incredibly proud and humbled that it has struck a chord with so many people, and messages like these help to remind me that I'm able to make a positive change in this lifetime :)

When I originally wrote the Sammy and Scarlett scene, I had been writing Scarlett from an aromantic/asexual point of view, though I've since learned that classifying a villain as being incapable of falling in love is kinda ehhhhh not a great light to put them under. So now it's partially because of her being aromantic, and also because she's far too busy creating evil schemes engrossing herself in her work that she just simply doesn't care. And while Scarlett's ultimate goal was to make Sammy suffer by encouraging her to get together with Ella and then eliminating one or the other swiftly after, she more than likely did have some history with the topic of not letting others judge you for who you are. So yeah, she's a socially conscious greedy little nutcase :D (also yeah no she's not izzy, she just managed to fake her way into the game lol, though her being an adult is based off an izzy interpretation from another fic series)

Thanks so much again for all the support!! It genuinely means so much to me to see you and so many other people still loving the story to this day. Hopefully I can work up the ability to write more in the future, though unfortunately that's becoming increasingly harder to do :'( Anyways thanks again and I hope you have a wonderful day!! <3

[rickie-the-storyteller]

Context Time! (for @gummybugg)

I did this lil tag game thing where I posted the final line I had written that day... a line that makes zero sense without context lol. Here's a link to that post:

The line I shared was this: "She has a husband."

And then I tagged 4 people because this quote has 4 words!

And the lovely @gummybugg was curious as to what this line was all about. So here's the explanation - in the dialogue style post that I do for my Steph's Crew series (since this scene is part of the Steph's Crew sequel I've been working on).

Enjoy!

So I accidentally wrote a love triangle... (more like a love square, though. Since four people are involved)

That wasn't meant to happen, but what can you do hahaha

in case you haven't been following what I've posted from Steph's Crew, I'll give you a brief rundown of the characters and their relationships.

Stephanie is kind of the leader of her friend group (which consists of herself, Elise, Bret, Alice and Dylan. The last two aren't going to really come up much, since they aren't really a major part of this storyline lol). She also has a boyfriend named Ben (who she currently lives with after running away from her old home), who doesn't go to her school. She and him have a long-distance relationship which leaves her feeling all depressed and lonely through most of the story.

Elise is Stephanie's best friend, and the first person she met when she first joined the school last year. She really helped Steph feel welcome! She also has feelings for Bret (her long-time classmate and friend since they were really young), and over the course of the story, he starts reciprocating. They eventually end up together, and everyone in the group is cool with it - apart from Steph at first, interestingly enough...

Bret is an orphan and he lives with his aunt Rachel. Their relationship is quite rocky at first, but they get closer as the story goes on (and by the sequel, which the upcoming scene is from, they're BFFs lol). He is a bit of an enigma... often known for being rather troublesome and chaotic, and many people dislike him. Not that he makes much of an effort to be liked... he's often rather rude and standoffish, especially to people he doesn't know too well. Like Stephanie when they first meet. They eventually patch things up and become really close friends. But one night, they have this moment together that hints at deeper feelings than mere friendship, if you know what I mean.

They brush it off and try to forget about it, choosing to remain friends and stay committed to their respective partners. But the chemistry they have doesn't just disappear. Not even a year or so later, which is when the sequel takes place lol. Which neatly brings up to the scene we've been waiting for!

This is a conversation between Bret and Rachel, where he finally shares his little situation with someone after keeping it hidden for a while. I'll just show it to you - it kind of speaks for itself lol. Here we go!

Bret Phones Home

(Bret dials his aunt's number in a telephone box payphone and waits for her to pick up)

Rachel: (on the phone) Hello?

Bret: RACH! Hi, it's me!

Rachel: Bret?! Oh, my goodness! Hi, sweetie! It's so good to hear from you, love, how are you?

Bret: Oh, yeah. I'm good, I'm good. But listen, I have something important to tell you. Or ask you, more like. Yeah.

Rachel: Ok, what's up?

Bret: I- uh. Ok… Here goes. (clears throat) Can you be in love with two people at the same time? Is that possible? Or is that just weird?

Rachel: Hmmm… I would say no, since in my experience, that has never truly been the case. I've found myself liking two people at once, but then realising that I always leaned more towards one of them, you know? But at the same time, polyamorous people exist, so…

Bret: Right.

Rachel: Why do you ask?

Bret: Oh, no reason, aunt Rach. I was only curious, that's all! Wanted to hear your thoughts.

Rachel: Honey, is everything alright? How are you and Elise doing?

Bret: Well, we recently broke up. You know that.

Rachel: You still love her?

Bret: (sighs) Of course I do. I'm never going to not love her, I don't think. But it's over. We're still friends, though. And I've… kind of started seeing somebody else.

Rachel: Can I guess who it is?

Bret: You won't get it, aunt Rach. Don't bothe-

Rachel: Is it Steph?

Bret: Uh… yeah. How did you know?

Rachel: Remember that late-night chat you had back when you two were in year 13?

Bret: Yeah. God, feels like that was ages ago.

Rachel: It's only been, like, a year. But wait... doesn't Stephanie have a boyfriend?

Bret: No.

Rachel: Oh. Ok, then.

Bret: She has a husband.

I hope this clears things up, @gummybugg!

[lauvra]

I was talking to somebody in the course about navigating metaphor in writing with Aphantasia, which was fascinating. He said he'd spent two hours reading my work trying to figure out my style and honestly if he comes to any conclusions I'd love to hear them. I mention that flattered by the compliments he offered but also because it's an indication of the way he thinks logically. I'm having trouble now forming a response to some things he said that felt really cynically-geared though, and am trying to work it out here. He's a lyricist, and uses Suno AI to hear the songs sung in various styles, but as soon as the AI stuff came up I was skeptical. When I tried to find work by him, he didn't have any linked; I encouraged him to create a Substack and by the next day he had. In chat, he sent me a poem of mine he'd run through Suno; it gave me shivers. This poem I wrote in 5-10 minutes as a throwaway now sounded beautiful. I shared it with a mate here and hours later he said, wait, that was AI??? A few people have suggested before that I write songs but it seemed... hard. This poem had transformed into a typical sad indie song in a few clicks; felt like I was inside the experience--that software is crazy. So I was less skeptical of AI as a useful tool; but that's when he started making generalisations. Do ya'll know how I feel about generalisations? Hate 'em; believe they're the reason for so much division. He said all artists in the music industry only want to make hit songs, that every one will use AI in the future; "Why would an artist slave over their piano all day when they can just get AI to create a million variations of a song and then choose the best one?" I set my cigarette down to stare at that question, totally incredulous. Most people make music for the journey; though it takes a while to catch on, it's the journey of creating work that heals artists of every kind; never ever ever the accolades. Never!!!!! Can we not get it through our heads? No, we all have to experience it personally first because we believe we're so special and unique and sure it ain't never worked for nobody but once we get xyz we'll be cured of our complexes--surely. We had a bit of back-and-forth about it, but he did settle on this cynical belief that most people only want X and isn't it a shame that fewer authentic people "like us" exist by the day. I mean, what? How to respond to such a depressing sentiment. I'm fearful of AI in terms of personal security and intellectual property, but when it comes to whether it's going to destroy the essential thing that makes artists DO what they do; it has no power there. It's a new shiny toy and will be used of course, broadly, but anyone using it to the detriment of their journey will realise this and re-position themselves: I believe this completely. Obviously, I could ask "why do you make stuff?" but I've sort of already done that. It makes me realise how much I suffered when surrounded by people with cynical mindsets--which feels cruel to say, truly I don't know this person well enough to make that assessment, but a feeling in me says to steer clear of these attitudes. If anyone saw the post recently, I'd written about how if a Gin or Genie offered me the chance to wake up as a masterful writer; I wouldn't take it, and meant it. This conversation was yet another reinforcement.

[captain-aralias]

WIP Wednesday - Deleted/rewritten scenes from 'Unintended'

Unintended is my Carry On Reverse Bang fic, based on art by @asticou! It's about a fake engagement between friends.

it's finished as of the weekend! which means i'm between fics right now, so going to do my usual thing of sharing bits of fic from when my previous fic was a WIP.

the following contains major spoilers for 'Unintended', so don't read this if you haven't read the fic - go and read the fic instead!

thanks for tagging me today @facewithoutheart @ionlydrinkhotwater @hushed-chorus @forabeatofadrum @bookish-bogwitch @cutestkilla @artsyunderstudy @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @fatalfangirl @krisrix

tagging: @ivelovedhimthroughworse @technetiumai @erzbethluna @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @letraspal @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

💍 👇

Deleted/rewritten scenes

these are the bits that i kept because i re-wrote them a lot.

bits i've shared before:

baz fake proposal from chapter 1 *

sexy kissing from chapter 2

chapter 3 groping but in simon's POV

shepard in chapter 5

*i didn't say this at the time, but another reason i removed this scene was that i knew baz would do the real proposal and i thought i would have simon say 'see, i told you, you would propose', but he never did, because by then i'd written about 10k of crying and the tone seemed wrong.

from chapter 1

“All right.” I manage to keep my voice even. “Then what? We stage a break-up?”

“I figured you’d dump me.”

Well, that’s implausible. “Why? Did you cheat on me?”

“No,” Simon says. “You just realised you could do better.” He points into the case. “How about that one?”

“I hate it,” I say, without looking. I don’t need to. However nice the ring is, I’m not wearing something that I’ll forever associate with this moment. “Why don’t you dump me? Then you’d be the villain.”

“Nobody would believe that,” Simon says, brow wrinkled again. “And you wouldn’t be a villain, it just makes sense.” He points again. “How about …?”

“How about we try another shop?”

We try another three shops. 

💍

Will we get to plan our wedding? The wedding Snow and I might have had, if almost everything about our lives was different. I don’t have anything embarrassing like a ring-binder of ideas, not yet, anyway – but it’s not as if I haven’t thought about it. It’s not as if I haven’t thought about how much I’d enjoy this.

💍

from chapter 4

“No. Trust me,” he says into the phone. “You don’t want to upset my fiancé. He’s the sort of man who enjoys setting things on fire for fun.”

Simon’s turned away so he can finish his conversation. 

“I do not.” 

Not only for fun, anyway. 

“Yeah,” Simon says, ignoring me. “Yeah. No, tomorrow’s fine, thanks.” He hangs up, turning to me. Smiling. “Hey.” 

I lean in and kiss his cheek. (It’s not busy outside the Watford gates, but there are enough school children milling around that I think I can justify it.) 

“Hello, love. Been waiting long?”

“Nah,” Simon says, taking my hand. “Just got here.” 

We cross the drawbridge together. 

We’re here to seek the Crucible’s blessing – it’s a tradition for mage-mage marriages, another binding before the ultimate one. In this case, Simon and I are alreadyjoined, of course, and we have no idea whether we can be bound again. Or whether any magic the Crucible has will work on Simon now that spells bounce of him.

The binding can be reversed – plenty of mages are still left at the altar – but it’s a significant step. After today, our names will be entered in the next edition of the Magickal Record, our intentions publicised. 

I can’t help but think Simon 

i think i felt this scene was dragging. time to switch to simon, that feels like walking/like moving the scene on.

💍

He dumped me again shortly after that – this time for being too clingy. I think that meant that I texted him more than twice a day. And tried to talk to him about what he wanted to do with his life. Definitely a step too far.

Now, of course, we all know what Gerard wants.

He wants to marry a nice girl, who doesn’t ask too many questions. I can’t blame him for that. There were times I thought that would be my future, too.

Fortunately, I think I have something a little better.

“What did you even see in this guy?” Simon whispers to me as Gerard and Maddy approach the Crucible together.

💍

“Crowley, that makes even less sense,” Baz says, making a face. “You wouldn’t be my best friend if I was bothered by any of that.”

“But that’s not going to help us work out what to do about this engagement, is it?” I huff. “And it’s different, being friends and being married.”

“Is it?” Baz says, and it’s strange, but it sounds like he’s really asking. What would be different? Even though we both know that everything would be.

i had real problems with this scene, as you're about to see. we're trying to a) keep the mood UPbeat, simon and b) not give the game away that baz actually wants to marry him.

💍

“Right, well. It’s obviously my fault.” I faff around with my fork, breaking the cake in front of me into smaller and smaller bits. I don’t want to look at him. “You couldn’t handle it anymore. My temper. How fucked up I am. The fact that I can’t even do magic. That I can’t talk to you about books or music—”

“Simon.” Baz leans forward across the table, between the cakes. He takes my hands, “stop.”

I stop.

“You do know that none of that is a problem for me,” Baz says, insistently. “It’s not as if I’m not fucked up. It’s not as if I don’t have a temper.”

“Yeah,” I say. “I know.” I do. I know we work as friends – it’s the rest that’s the problem. “That’s not going to help us work out what to do about this engagement, is it?”

“Well,” Baz frowns, “you could always say you don’t want to talk about it. When people ask – why you broke up with me.”

“I already told you––”

“Or you can keep not breaking up with me,” Baz says, interrupting me. “And I won’t break up with you.”

💍

Not only about the cake. (Although he didn’t choose the chocolate, which is clearly the best.) But – if we don’t break up then we’ll have to get actually married.

Baz must know that. Which means …

Which means … Merlin.

Has Baz just asked me to marry him?

💍

If we don’t break up, Baz and I will be getting married.

Married.

Does he want that?

Do I?

I haven’t thought about it before, I’ve never let myself think about it. Because this wasn’t real, because it all had to end and although I loved Baz, I knew we weren’t supposed to be together.

But now I’m sitting amongst the half-eaten remains of a dozen mini wedding cakes and Baz is in the other room talking to my gran and Penny’s dad about magickal binding spells. And I know I do.

I do. I want to marry him.

💍

If we don’t break up, Baz and I will be getting married. Which sounds good – perfect, actually – except that that’s not the only question and I don’t know the answer to any of the others.

Is that what Baz wants?

Is that really what’s suggesting?

And can I let myself have him if it is?

end chapter. i really hated this ending, and then i remembered that rainbow always ends on a downbeat/stressed syllable. and that got me to the chocolate cake ending, which i really like.

💍

from chapter 5

She hangs up.

I spell the music louder.

SIMON

Somehow, I make it through the next day. And the next. 

Penny helps. Shepard’s still in Scotland – still unreachable by Normal methods and magickal ones. She sent him a bird, but it came back a day later with the note still in its beak. Penny says that means Shep’s underwater. She’s trying not to worry, but I can tell she’d like to talk to him about this. It makes me feel a bit better, knowing I can do something for her, too. She makes sure I remember to have a shower every day; I make sure she’s eating.

I make it through my exam on Friday, too. I’m not on my top form – obviously – but enough of what I’ve learned this year must have stuck somehow as I’m able to answer most of the questions.  

There’s a text from Baz waiting for me when I get my phone back: 

“Hope you didn’t fail. x”

It makes me smile, even though it’s kind of rude and I probably shouldn’t. 

Penny says Baz isn’t replying to any of her texts or her emails, and she thinks he might have eaten the bird she sent. He’s still talking to me, though. Not out loud, admittedly. He hasn’t answered my calls – he says he’s always asleep when they come through, no matter what the time is – but he responds to my texts. It makes me think he doesn’t hate me. 

“Why would he hate you?” Penelope asked me yesterday. “Isn’t this what you agreed would happen?”

It is what we agreed, but she didn’t see Baz’s face. He was so disappointed. 

But at least he doesn’t hate me. He remembered my exam. He sent a kiss.

I text back: “did ok i think. no thx to you. x”

Baz must be watching his phone. He writes back almost immediately: 

“You never needed me. x”

He doesn’t know how wrong he is. The only thing keeping me going is the thought that I get to see him again soon. 

“still on for brunch? x” 

Baz takes a while to reply to this one, even though all he needed to do was thumbs up. I see the three dots fade in and out on the screen a few times before his message finally arrives. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now, do you? We’re supposed to have just broken up. We shouldn’t be seen together in public.” 

OK, I guess that makes sense, even though I can’t imagine anyone’s that interested. Except my grandma and Jamie, for obvious reasons, and some reporter who keeps calling, trying to get me to say something rude about Baz for the Record.  

“we could go to the cinema instead,” I suggest because it’s dark. No one would see us. 

“There’s nothing on,” Baz replies. 

“come round, then? Penny won’t ask any questions. x”  

“Thank you, but I’m busy this weekend.” 

He’s lying. He didn’t even think of an excuse. 

I call him. He doesn’t pick up. He texts me instead. 

“Maybe next week? x”

Next week’s my birthday. Has he forgotten? Has he remembered? What if he remembers and changes his mind? We 

this was clearly a big deleted bit, but i thought simon was....... coming across too happy!!! YES. the opposite of what i'd been fighting the whole time. GET WITH THE PROGRAMME, SIMON. and i didn't need most of this - i needed to get to the lady ruth scene, so i just cut straight there and referred back to this.

💍

“Not because we’re friends,” I tell him. “Not because you have to. Because I love you.”

Simon’s eyes are wide and blue. “Love—?”

“Not as a friend,” I clarify. “Not just as a friend.

SIMON

No, he––

That’s not––

And anyway, even if it’s true––

It can’t be, but––

Even if he kissed me––

I shouldn’t. I can’t.

I can’t say yes.

BAZ

Simon looks like he’s going to cry.

Not in a good way, but I think that’s fine. I feel a bit like crying too – pretty much always.

“Baz,” his voice cracks, “you deserve better.” 

this scene was going so great until i hit 'not just as a friend' - which i thought was PERFECT, and perfect as the end of baz's section - but i really didn't want simon to have to react while he was saying the next line i had in my head, which was 'Baz, you deserve better'. so i tried to write around it. for more than a week. (when i dont know what i'm doing, i always write very slowly.) this one is the first in my doc, but i can't tell if it was chronologically first. it's the closest to what i eventually went with.

💍

“You’re it for me, Simon. There’s no one better.”

“There’s you,” I say quietly.

I immediately regret it – I sound like an ass – but Baz was looking so sad before and at least now he isn’t. He looks like he’s got the answer to something.

“Do you love me?”

💍

“You know you deserve better.”

It’s the right thing to do. Tell him. It’s what I’ve been thinking, all this week. How selfish it was to think I could hold onto him. When I knew I shouldn’t. When I knew––

Baz is shaking his head. “I don’t know that.”

That he deserves everything?

“You should.”

“I don’t want anyone better.” Baz is still pushing, still holding on. “There isn’t anyone better. I’ve only had other relationships because I thought I couldn’t have you.”

No. That’s not––

“Ask Gerard,” Baz entreats. His voice is pained too; his face is so close. “Ask Tristan. You’re it for me, Simon. There’s no one better.”

He looks so sad. It’s breaking my heart, but I can’t let him do this.

“Baz,”

💍

“Baz …”

This is what I wanted. It’s what I want. But I can’t––

We can’t––

I shouldn’t have kissed him just now.

My voice cracks as I speak: my throat’s tight and hot. I swallow.

“You know you deserve better.”

BAZ

I don’t know that.

I don’t know if I deserve Simon, but it’s not important. I love him. I want to be better for him

💍

i have no idea what this came after, sorry

Is this too much?

Or not enough? I can’t tell. I’ve never confessed my feelings to the love of my life before.

It’s awful – and it isn’t, because Simon hasn’t said he doesn’t feel the same. He’s said the opposite. I think that’s good, even though he also looks like he’s about to cry – not in a good way. Honestly, I feel like crying too, but I also feel desperate and like we’re getting somewhere and, anyway, it’s far too late to turn back now. So, in for a penny …

“Marry me,” I beg him. “Please. Love.”

“I can’t.” He sounds wretched.

“Because you don’t love me?”

“Because I’m me,” he says. His wings

you'll see i kept 'about to cry - not in a good way'. i liked that. anyway - that's the end of that. fortunately after all the pain, the scene turned out well! but basically i wasn't ready to cut away to simon, but i had to cut away to simon - not just because the line was good, but becuase he deserves to react. ugh. but he had nothing to say. hard times. ok - something else. i wanted to put the reveal that baz didn't care about the goat into the wedding, but i ran out of time so i tried to insert it into stuff i'd already written.

💍

Everyone forgets about me and Baz for a bit after that. That’s fine, though. The garden’s big enough that we can wander off without anyone noticing. I kiss Baz behind one of the greenhouses. He lets me push my fingers between the buttons of his shirt and bite at his neck. I keep us covered with my wings.

“I love you,” I tell him.

“I love you too,” Baz says, catching my face in his hands. “Also, there’s a goat watching us, so you might want to stop.”

“What?” I laugh and turn around. Sure enough, a winged goat is standing a few feet away from us. It’s not watching, though. It’s eating one of Lady Ruth’s plants.

I hurriedly let go of Baz and try and shoo the goat away. “Get off!”

Baz isn’t at all helpful, even though he has magic. He just watches. Fortunately, I know a few tricks from Ebb.

“Very impressive,” Baz says, as the goat wanders huffily back towards the house.

“Shut up, I got that goat for you.”

“You do know when I said I wanted to be married at Watford, I meant I wanted to marry you?”

“Fuck.” I had to get up early to drive Agatha and the goat here. “I mean, good. But––”

Baz leans “I love you

i hated this though, as it slowed down the action. so i instead broke up the swithin (originally petra, but she's too old by now!) and cake conversation to put the goat there. that worked better.

there might be a few other bits and pieces but that's the main stuff!! thanks for reading.

(i couldnt make the ring emojis smaller. so.... apologies for that)

[fern-thee-otter]

"Do I... know you?"

| m a s t e r l i s t | m a i n m a s t e r l i s t |

characters: Chishiya Shuntaro, Kuina Hikari

genre: fluff. two trans besties meeting each other and bonding over being trans :D [🌸]

word count: 2.3K

tags: @aceofspadegrass @a-simp-20 @hatterstan-shameblog @yui-kuromori @nettlewillow @chishiya-of-diamonds @kuina-the-queen @jess-emurphy @insecxreasalwqys @eddie-the-freak-munson

notes: alright so, this is the very first time I ever wrote about trans characters. I did my very best, with a lot of research and some help from my friend @yui-kuromori (gotta check their blog out, they're awesome) so, I hope there's no problem in what I wrote here. In other words... enjoy :D

tw// mention of tränsphøbia; manga spoilers; mentions of smøking.

*3 years ago*

Kuina sat in an almost empty room waiting for her doctor to arrive. It was the day she would get her sex reassignment surgery. She was both happy and nervous.

Ever since Kuina left her father's dojo, she didn't hear anything from the family, not even from her mother. But she thought it was better like this. Her father wanted her to be the heir of his dojo, but her mom told her that she can leave if she didn't feel like her place was there. Not to mention her dad was both abusive and tränsphøbic.

Her boss let her have some weeks off to recover after the surgery. She was grateful that her boss and her coworkers were supportive.

She looked around the room until her eyes landed on a person that sat in front of her. That person had its face covered so Kuina couldn't see much of their face, and it looked like they were listening to something since they wore earphones.

Not much time passed, and Kuina just realised she was staring at that person for too long when they had a short eye contact.

"Oh, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to look for too-" that person took their earphones off and walked towards her.

"May I sit here?" Kuina just nodded. The person sat right beside her. She kept looking around the room.

"You're quite nervous to be here, aren't ya?"

"Why are you asking?"

"Just curious. First time here?"

"Erm... nope. I've been here quite a few times. How about you?" Kuina hesitated before asking the question. She got curious of the individual beside her. The person only looks at her then tilts their head back to the paintings around the room.

"I'm completing my med student residency in this hospital. One could say I'm already used to this kind of place. However I'm not here for any lessons today." they said. They took a short glance at Kuina's wrist "And I think you're here for the same reason as me". Kuina looked at her wrist again. The person looked at her bracelet (a trans flag beaded one). She looked at the person immediately, realising what they meant.

"Wait... you too?"

"Yep. Name's Chishiya Shuntaro, and I go by he/they." Chishiya streched out their hand to her. Kuina was silent for a moment, but eventually shook it.

"Kuina Hikari. I go by she/her."

"Nice name. So Kuina... what surgery are you here for?" The latter asks. Kuina remains silent. "You know it's ok if you don't want to answer. I just wanted to ask." "No, it's ok. I'm here for a bottom surgery. I'm a bit nervous about it tho. I've read about the possible complications post-surgery, and I just hope it'll be okay. After all, I've got my implants done a long time ago, and nothing happened. But I don't wanna jinx it." she looks at Chishiya "And you?"

"Me? Well, I'm here for a top surgery. Kinda happy that I won't get to wear binders after it. They get a little painful from time to time, you know?" He looks at Kuina with a cheshire-like smirk plastered on his face, before turning around to look at the paintings of the room once again.

"You really like to look at paintings, don't you?" She asks them. "Well, what can I say, some of them have certain meanings. As a child, there was a painting that incinted my curiosity more than anything. The Mona Lisa." "Mona Lisa?" "Yeah. One theory has been said that Da Vinci painted himself as a woman when he created it. I just couldn't help but sense a bit of comfort when hearing that. After all, everyone wants to be seen for who they are, right?"

"You have a point." She said. "Some people don't see it though... like my father. I think he didn't want to accept that I'm not the son he hoped for anymore. He wanted me to heir the dojo, yet called me weak and 'a failure of a man'. I got sick of my parents arguing whenever I was trying my best, but still failing, to meet my father's expectations. My mother however... she was supportive to say the least. She encouraged me to 'nurture my own happiness', as she would say. After coming out, I eventually left the house, and I've never heard of them ever since." The thought of her mother brought a warm smile on her face.

"Wow... your mother seems like a nice person." "She is." Chishiya hums, with a small yet noticeable smile on their lips. "I bet your parents were supportive when you came out to them." Kuina said, while looking at him. However, that smile Chishiya had before, faded away, as she mentioned his parents. Kuina quickly realised the change in their mood. "Oh... did I say something wrong? I'm really sorry, I-" "No... it's alright. Honestly, it's not that my parents weren't supportive... they just didn't care. And not just about coming out. They didn't care about me at all. No matter how much I strived to be the 'golden child', no matter how many good grades I got in school, they didn't give me one single bit of attention. Especially my father. My parents married each other just to secure their current positions at the hospital." the blond explained.

Kuina was shocked. I mean, she's heard of parents neglecting their kids before, but damn, those two neglected their child HIS ENTIRE LIFE? Now that was beyond the definition of stupidity. Kuina hesitated at first, but she put one hand on Chishiya's shoulder.

"It seems like we both have problems with our dads... ironic, ain't it?" Kuina said, "It kinda is, now that I think about it. Honestly, what were the odds for us to have this much in common?" "I don't know. But I'm glad we have." Kuina smiled, Chishiya following her in the action.

"Well, I guess we understand each other in ways that others don't... I think we'd be great friends." Chishiya looked at her, his smile growing. Kuina laughed, and the hand that was on his shouder was now on the other one "You only think? We'd be great friends!" They both laughed, and so they kept on talking about more stuff, until one doctor entered the room.

"Mx. Chishiya Shuntaro?" the doctor asks. "That would be me." Chishiya sat up from their seat. "The operating room is ready. Hope you are as well." "I sure as hell am ready." Chishiya turned to Kuina. "Hope we'll meet again after the surgeries. I haven't had a conversation like this in ages." Kuina slowly nodded, and Chishiya, along with the doctor, left the room. As silence filled the atmosphere once again, Kuina thought of something.

'Fuck, I forgot to give him my phone number.' She instantly remembered, but then she thought that she could do it when they were both in the post-surgery recovery stage. Spoiler alert: She forgot. Again.

*During the Borderlands*

Kuina ran away from the venue of the game she just completed, ending up at the back of the said venue. And to be honest, that 8♧ was one hell of a first game. She sat in there, holding her hands on her hips, trying to catch her breath. Good thing she stopped smoking after reuniting with her mother, otherwise she could've been dead.

"You were pretty good, given all the things that happened in there." She turned to see another survivor of that game. "Yeah, you weren't so bad either." That person took off their hood, revealing long white locks falling to their shoulders. Kuina squinted her eyes a little. Something about that person seemed familiar to her. Was it the mole under their left eye? The eyes? Perhaps the smirk they had plastered on their face, that looked almost like the one the Cheshire Cat had everytime in the movie she saw when she was little.

"Excuse me." "Hm?" the person stopped in their tracks and turned their head in her direction. "Is your name perhaps... Chishiya Shuntaro?" their face became just as white as their hair for a mere second. "How... did you find it out?" the latter asked. She smiled genuinely. "Damn... you really changed your looks since we last saw each other." Chishiya sat in silence for a couple of seconds, before replying to her. "So did you, Kuina." "Indeed. But, if you don't mind me asking, what is this place?" Kuina changed the subject.

"I guess you're a newcomer." "Newcomer? How long you've been here?" "About 2 weeks or so." "Okay but... what the fuck was that thing we've been going through? Cuz I sure as hell wouldn't call it a 'game'." "Well, that hell you and I had just been through was one of the games of the Borderlands." "Borderlands?" "Yep. Basically, in here, you're forced to play some games in order to survive. And you're given a visa with days to stay in here. Expiration of visa leads to death by laser, and as I mentioned earlier, you play games and if you win you receive more days on your visa. If you lose the game however... then it's Game Over for you." "And by 'Game Over', you mean..." "You saw those people too, didn't you?" He reffered to some of the players that died during the game. She sighs before nodding. Seeing someone die in front of your eyes is something really hard to stomach, especially when that's also the first time you see someone die in real life in a horrendous way.

"Good. I have a question for you tho: have you ever heard of 'The Beach'?" Chishiya asked her. By the looks on their face and the tone of their voice, he seemed a bit excited about this. "The Beach? Who hasn't been to a beach before?" Kuina thought Chishiya was delusional. I mean sure, the idea of a beach sounds good: swimming in the ocean, laying down to relax and any other stuff people do at a normal beach, but why would they think of a beach when they're literally in the middle of the fucking apocalypse. Well, she let him be. After all, she could only guess they were in a state of delusion.

"Oh no, not any beach. The Beach. Apparently, they're an organization that gathers lots of players together in order to collect all these cards." He pauses, before showing her the little deck of cards he collected so far. "And by the informations I gathered so far, they seem to know something about what this place is." Chishiya looks away, and points to a hotel that still had its lights on, in the middle of a fucking lake (or sea). "That's The Beach?" "Yep. I followed some players before, that all had some sort of locker keys around their wrists. Boy, they were fast though. Luckily, I managed to follow their route from a high building with the help of some high quality binoculars." "That sounds good. And what exactly are you planning?" She asks them. "I plan to infiltrate in there tomorrow, and steal all the cards they collected, when the time is right. Rumor has it that once the whole deck is completed, you can return to the original world. And I want to see if it's true or not." "Sounds cool. I think I'll join you as well." Kuina told them. "Sure. I mean, you're pretty skilled, so I think that the games should be no problem for you. And you can be a good helping hand so, I don't see where would the problem be." "Cool." "Okay, now that we're settled, let's go and get some rest. Tomorrow is a big day." Chishiya walked away, and Kuina followed him. "Wait, where are you going?" "Somewhere to rest. A.K.A., my apartment. You can follow me if you want to. I think I have an extra mattress you can sleep on." "Alright." and so, the two walked around the streets of the ghost city Tokyo has now become, until reaching Chishiya's apartment.

*After the Borderlands*

It has been two weeks since the comet crash happened. Chishiya was sitting in a hospital bed and looking at the ceiling, a lot of thoughts running on his mind. Like 'How come my heartbeat came back after regaining consciousness that day?', 'How did I end up here anyways? I remember I was just sleeping and suddenly I ended up at the hospital?', etc. He held one hand on his abdominal zone, where, according to doctors, he got injured. They got injured in the left shoulder as well, but it didn't hurt as much as the aforementoned zone did. He decided to take a little walk outside the hospital courtyard. He got a little fed up with their roommate's coughing anyways. Walking down the halls, they met some nurses, and reassured them that he can go for a walk on their own. Once he got outside, he saw a lot of people chatting. They were all talking about how lucky they were that they survived, and doing other activities. Seeing them happy, somehow made Chishiya realise that maybe life has its good things as well. Ever since the incident happened, they were thinking about how they wasted all their life by trying to get even the slightest bit of attention from their parents. Especially from his father, who always sat down watching on his monitor, surrounded by piles of books. 'I guess this is a new start, Shuntaro.' he said to themselves. When he was about to go back, their eyes landed on two persons: an old lady, sitting on a wheelchair, and a younger woman behind her, presumably her daughter. The young one had her hair in long, numerous braids, and had a bandaged arm. Chishiya saw them coming toward his direction. And when they were in front of each other, the younger woman stopped. The older lady was confused, but then she looked towards Chishiya, who was looking at Kuina. Chishiya felt like there was something familiar about her. So, they decided to break the silence.

"Do I... know you?"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

also on wattpad

[asherlockstudy]

I 've gOt yoU

After a very long hiatus (3-4years?! time flies :@@@) which I believed to be permanent since I don't have hopes for a fifth season, I found myself going back to good old Sherlock and I was happy to see I still enjoy it! Not only that but it seems that this distance from the relentless binge watching I was practicing back in the day helped me notice details that had escaped me and get a fuller picture of Moftiss plot and intentions - something I couldn't do right after S4 when I was mad at them. While I am still very disappointed at the way they finished this beautiful story, my anger has mellowed a little.

One of the things I realized right when my brain was Sherlock-vacant was that the solution of IOU on which I wasted months was hidden in plain sight, in the actual dialogue. I hope there are more people who didn't realise, otherwise if it is only me who makes the connection just now, writing this post is going to make me feel very very stupid.

So yeah, IOU means I've got you. It doesn't seem like much but it is very meaningful in its subtlety. But where is this stated in the episode, what does the code mean, what is it meant for and why is this the code chosen by Jim Moriarty?

After he is found no guilty by the juries, Moriarty visits Sherlock for tea. There he prepares him for what is about to happen next. In addition, Moriarty leaves two codes for Sherlock to decipher. The one is the binary code he taps with his fingers. The other is the IOU (I owe you) which he carves on the apple.

Well, he gave us the meaning, right? I owe you? Well, not quite. Jim plays a little game. The surface meaning is "I owe you (a fall)" but the code has both some usage and an underlying, more important reason it exists. Besides, how does Sherlock owe Moriarty anything? For more on the "I owe you" part, you can read the "I.O.U a fall" meta. I wrote it in 2016 and it is dated but I still stand by some points made there. For example, that the apple is a symbol of lust, sin and temptation.

Back on track now. Sherlock takes the case of the two kidnapped children. While in the laboratory with Molly, he keeps muttering what IOU might be. So Sherlock thinks there's more to it than just being an abbreviation for "I owe you". For some reason, Sherlock hides the IOU riddle both from Molly and especially John.

A little later, after the kids are found, Sherlock is quite shocked when he realizes the children believe him to be their kidnapper. Not only he does not understand how Moriarty achieved this but he gradually starts worrying about himself, his reputation and where all this is heading. Based on his own childhood trauma, Sherlock was probably also shocked to see he inspired terror to a child. Sherlock looks worried and grim out of the windows of Scotland Yard.

And the IOU appears in front of him. Sherlock is scared and realizes the deciphering of IOU is indeed pressing. The IOU first appeared on an apple and the time that Sherlock was feeling bad. The third time is when police turns against Sherlock and John and they are running away.

The dark winged angel graffiti. A fallen angel? A guardian angel? A fallen guardian angel perhaps? It doesn't matter, much.

After he has talked privately to Molly and while John is still with him, Sherlock deduces secretly what the binary code is. He then invites Moriarty there and waits. Moriarty plans a scheme to get John away - sends him to find a supposedly dying Mrs Hudson (oh yes, it was Moriarty who sent John away, not Sherlock, this is canon btw, check this)

and then informs Sherlock he has arrived. This probably means Sherlock had already figured what IOU was before inviting him but I am not ruling out the possibility that he had an epiphany during the rooftop scene.

So then a proud Sherlock tells Jim he found the binary code and it is all over. Jim responds that the code is fake and he is an idiot. Sherlock is shaken and on top of that Jim convinces him that there's no way for this to end other than Sherlock falling to his death. Sherlock tries to threaten him but it's futile. Jim clarifies that only Sherlock's death can call off the killers because he is certainly not gonna do it.

Jim gives Sherlock a moment, during which Sherlock has his epiphany, which is none other than the realization that Moriarty once again does not mean to kill him but has planned his fake suicide. (NOTE! If you are new to my blog, I recommend reading my Analyzing the Rooftop Scene meta. It is the core of my Sherlock theory and the main reason I made this blog. Not only I still stand by it with all my heart five years later but Series 4 also reinforced my faith in it. Well maybe except for one thing which however doesn’t affect the point I am trying to make. In short, the reason Sherlock never explained to anyone how he faked his death is because it was Jim's plan and not his own. Jim did not want Sherlock dead. For detailed explanation, go to the main meta.)

So Sherlock realizes Jim has prepared his fake suicide and starts laughing arrogantly because, honestly, this is kinda telling for Jim's feelings and motives.

Not only the suicide is fake but Moriarty also let something slip. This is turning into a good day.

SHERLOCK: (confidently and mockingly approaches Moriarty) You are not going to do it? So the killers can be called off then. There is a recall code or a word or a number... I don't have to die... (singingly) if I've - got - you!

Jim's legit reaction:

Moriarty: (the hell of surprised but tries to keep calm and intimidating) Oh! You think you can make me stop the order, you think you can make me do that?!

Sherlock: (extremely confident) Yes. So do you.

So IOU was the code in case Moriarty wanted to call off the killers. He planted it in Sherlock's mind along with the binary code. The binary code might have meant nothing in the end but this one did. It was the red herring and the actual solution. Which also means that Moriarty gave Sherlock the chance to work on saving his friends and beating him from the beginning. He literally gave him the code to stop his own plan. The only condition for Sherlock was to understand what the abbreviation truly meant and then convince Jim to actually say it.

Why did Jim take this risk? Well, much like Irene, he couldn't help it. Irene is a mirror for Moriarty on so many levels. I had written this meta but I saw the URL is broken. Thankfully, I have kept archives and I will re-upload it soon. Anyway, Jim used a truth as his code for losing - or surrendering - just like Irene used SHERLOCKED - because he didn't actually expect Sherlock to find this one. To understand the deep root behind all the chaos.

And Sherlock was now sure he could make Jim say it. (again recommending Analyzing the Rooftop scene for that, because I already talk about it there)

"I've got you"

I am not a NES speaker so I visited some websites to be exactly sure of the meaning and ironically this is the first thing I stumbled into:

Yeah... what are the odds... In general, the meanings are:

I'm holding you

I'm helping you

I understand you

I saved you

I am protecting you

In short, Moriarty was telling him that he wouldn't let him die by the fall... or in general. And "I've got you" is as close as Moriarty could be honest about his deeper motives.

Even Eurus, two seasons later, does not want Sherlock dead. It is not clear if this was Moriarty's condition or Eurus didn't wish his death either. But Moriarty himself definitely meant to keep Sherlock alive. Of course, he didn't keep the same stance for the people Sherlock loved. Quite, the contrary. I love this ship but let's be real, it is not exactly a healthy romance. Moriarty's motto was "Live with me or live in pain".

Moriarty understood that once Sherlock knew his deeper truth, he indeed was risking losing and surrendering to Sherlock without being rewarded. When Sherlock tries to persuade him, what?, essentially that they can work it out together, for a mere second Jim has faith. But Sherlock can't hide his fear for long and Moriarty accepts there is no hope. He kills (let me always hope he didn't) himself right there and then because he can not compete with John and thus he will not allow Sherlock to defeat him and go on with his life. And John.

Sorry for being a broken record but I explain all this step by step with images in the main meta, this one already became huge enough.

The summary is that IOU was Moriarty's love, or predatory obsession if you prefer, or both honestly, for Sherlock. Sherlock deciphered it and made Jim vulnerable to defeat. Moriarty finally accepted that Sherlock could not be his and killed himself. Vengeance would follow with his back-up plan, in the face of Eurus.

*There is always the possibility it means "I love you". But it's more OOC for Moriarty and I honestly think they just gave it to us under our noses!

** I always add at pivotal moments that I believe Sherlock was attracted to Moriarty, was lowkey obsessed too and respected him deeply. He had already fallen for John before meeting Jim though and, of course, even if he hadn't, he still wouldn't be able to overcome his moral inhibitions. Romance is already hard enough for him with a "normal" person.

[silverblood5]

LunterWeek 2021 Day 5: Role Swap

@lunterweek

So for my Role Swap, I've had Hunter be the one who travels to the Human Realm.

I wrote down some backstory and ideas related to this below if you wanted to check it out. It ended up being a bit long and there’s a special message at the end. So if you like this concept, please read on.

Hunter comes across the Human Realm before the events of the series, whether by accident, or in an attempt to get away. He is taken in by his Wittebane relatives who know all about the Demon Realm. Hunter chooses to stay, and his relatives want to give him something of a normal adolescence, so he is enrolled in the local school.

To hide his more witchy traits, Hunter wears a beanie to cover his ears and brown contacts to hide his eyes. They’re not exactly perfect though, and you can see a tinge of reddish-purple behind them if you get close enough.

Despite trying to fit in as a normal human, Hunter keeps his distance from people, and doesn’t make any friends. Still learning how to behave in a completely new society surrounded by people his own age, Hunter tends to act in ways people think are weird, and his more confrontational tendencies mean he’s not afraid to get in a fight and sees nothing wrong with decking a person who’s acting like a jerk.

It’s as he’s sitting in a room waiting to speak to the principal about one such fight, that a girl a couple years younger than him is dragged in by her frazzled teacher. Both are wiping tiny spiders off of them, and the girl is trying to convince the teacher she meant no harm. She was only trying to create an accurate depiction of a griffin, and that meant she had to include spider breath. The teacher snaps at her and tells her sit down and not cause any more trouble.

Luz is sullen until a voice speaks up next to her, “You know Griffins don’t actually have spider breath, it’s just that spiders are attracted to their saliva, so they’re often seen crawling in and out of their mouths.”

At first thinking the boy was going to tease her, Luz becomes ecstatic that someone understands what she was trying to do. Luz begins talking more about Griffins, and Hunter joins in, interested in her knowledge and excitement over something he considered a mundane subject. It’s only halfway through the conversation that Hunter remembers that Griffins don’t exist in the Human Realm. He stops correcting her about facts, but Luz is so happy to talk to someone about her interests she doesn’t realise. Hunter is called in to the office and their conversation ends.

Luz wants to talk to him again, but since he’s older, they don’t share any classes. She finds him the next day at lunch and goes to eat with him. At first, Hunter is hesitant to talk to her, as he’s afraid he may let something slip about the Demon Realm, but there’s no harm in talking about ‘fictional’ topics, and she’s the most interesting person he’s met at the school. Plus, she seems genuinely excited to talk to him, even though she knows of his less than stellar reputation that makes the other kids stay away from him. She’s not as judgemental, and he loves the way her face lights up when he talks about her favourite mythical creatures.

The two don’t talk often, being separate by two years, and their most common meeting places are their lunch spots by the tree and on the roof, and the detention room. Both have a reputation for being weird outcasts and troublemakers, and it’s the beginning of their friendship.

Once they’re friends, they begin to meet outside of school. Luz learns he’s new to town and takes him to some of her favourite places, while Hunter takes her on hikes through the woods. He loves all the different plants and animals there and they make a game of giving everything they see weird names. One day, Luz takes them to the library first, they check out books relating to botany and local wildlife and spend the whole day reading and learning different things in the woods.

Luz doesn’t have as much of an interest in these things as Hunter does, but she’s happy to do it for her first real friend, and to pay him back for being the first person she could share her interests with. The smile on his face as he learns new facts about the wildlife is worth every second, and Luz finds herself staring at him more than the surroundings.

Hunter finds out Luz is being bullied by some people in her class, and when she refuses to let him do anything about it, he offers to teach her how to fight. Luz declines, saying she’s too nice for that and she has no intention of getting into a physical altercation over some people calling her a ‘freak’ and a ‘luzer’. She says she’s fine and she can deal with them on her own, but Hunter convinces her to learn a few moves anyway because there’s ‘no harm in learning self-defence’, and he’d ‘seen how lacklustre the school’s sports programs are, no wonder you have such ‘weak nerd arms’’.

During all this, Camila is thrilled that her daughter finally has a friend (maybe more if the way she constantly talks about him and blushes is any indication), but during one of her trips to the school the principal informs her of his reputation of getting into fights. She’s torn between not wanting to be judgemental and seeing how happy Luz is now, and worrying if this boy might be a bad influence. Wanting to see what he’s really like, she asks Luz to invite him to dinner so she can meet him herself.

I realise as I’m writing this out, I’ve actually got a ton of ideas for this and I’m officially jotting it down as a future project. I just wanted to put a few ideas down as a backstory to the artwork, but now I have all this and so much more. Hence, why I’m stopping here. I don’t want to put everything here and spoil it for when I eventually make it into its own fic.

If you’re interested in seeing this become a full thing, please let me know. It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything that wasn’t a one-shot, so I’ll need all the motivation I can get.

Thank you!

[rocketmuse]

I thought I'd share my playlist for the anniversary of the boathouse kiss. :)

Song translations, MANY thoughts, and timeline under the break.

Noise warning for song 19, Hinahanap-Hanap Kita. 4:23 to the end. Loud high pitched beeps.

YouTube music version to be made soon.

Translations for foreign songs:

Ewan [Dunno] — Apo Hiking Society — Filipino/Tagalog

Amour plastique [Plastic love] — Videoclub — French

Panalangin [Prayer] — Apo Hiking Society/Moonstar88 — Filipino/Tagalog

Hinahanap-Hanap Kita [I'm Looking For You] — Rivermaya — Filipino/Tagalog

This is a collaborative playlist made with my friend.

Thought Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy would be a good starter song. Something about the music. Represents a good start of Alec persuing Maurice, like, hey, I can be yours... Whatcha doin'?

I added Puppy Princess because of the chorus but I know some people don't like that song so... You can skip if you'd like. KISS MEEEEE KIISS ME WITH YIIR EYESSS CLOSED . ALL I WANT IS YOU YEAH YOU. TELL ME I'M NOT FUNNY TELL ME I'M LEGIIIIT

Ewan. OH MY GOD this song is so them. Alec cares for Maurice, and doesn't like not being taken seriously or being treated badly and brushed off.

"I don't know why you're like that, you're difficult to talk to and you're a snob" COME ON IS THAT NOT THEM — Just a smile from you, and I'll be in heaven. Please give me a response, anything but "No idea"... What a perfect representation of Alec's continuous persuit of Maurice, always talking, always trying...

I could go on with every lyric.

Edit: I just realised this song fits so well for Alec's letters and meeting at the museum. Must resist the urge to add the same exact track twice.

So about Touch Me... Some of the lyrics apply better in other versions. Spotify just has this version tho. Touch me, just like that.

All I've Ever Known. Maurice discovered so much that night about touch and sharing and being with someone. He wants to be with Alec. "All I've ever known is how to hold my own, but now I want to hold you too. [Hold you close, I don't wanna ever have to let you go. Hold you tight, I don't wanna to back to the lonely life.]" Alec opened up his eyes and he'll never be the same.

Can't Help Falling in Love With You. 'Did you ever dream you'd a friend, Alec? ... Someone to last your whole life...' 'Alec, you're a dear fellow and we've been very happy.'

I'd Like To Walk Around In Your Mind was added from Maurice's perspective. Perhaps it fits Alec too...

I think Love At First Sight has the double meaning of the literal title, as well as "wouldn't you like to kiss her" perhaps being... Something Maurice would hear.

I Don't Dance. Based on this post/edit. Please watch this video oh my God.

Pink in the Night. Alec yearns for Maurice in the boathouse. He hasn't come. He hears his heart breaking tonight.

Every lyric is perhaps pulled straight from Alec's brain, to be honest. I remember seeing a post with this song in other contexts with them too. So yes, a few meanings.

Amour plastique. Alec reminiscences on the night in the Russet room. Why hasn't he come?

In my mind, everything goes wild. I lose myself in your eyes. I drown myself in the vagueness of your loving gaze.

And at night I cry tears that stream down my cheeks. I think of you only when the days ends, only when my sad demons descend upon my mind, into the bottomless abyss.

Waiting in the boathouse at night, when the day ends.

I ring out in kisses all down your chest. Lost in the avalanche of my heart astray. Who are you? Where are you?

The moments of then repeat in his mind. Where is Maurice?

I suppose Hopelessly Devoted To You and I'm A Fool To Want You are self explanatory. Maurice should really come... Alec really toughed it out, 2 days he spent in the boathouse, really wanted to see Maurice, really knew they had something, and doesn't want to be treated like a dog. Generally, his 1st letter.

Moon Song. My friend said they added it as a general love song. — Why do you treat me like this? Why didn't you come to the boathouse? — Alec's 2nd letter as a whole. Plus bits of 1st.

And you pushed me in, and now my feet can't touch the bottom of you. ... So I will wait for the next time you want me, like a dog with a bird at your door.

Ewan would fit here tbh.

Panalangin. My only prayer in this lifetime: to be beside you, to be together with you, that's my prayer.

"I since cricket match do long to ... place both arms round you and share with you, the above now seems sweeter than words can say."

And this heart won't allow if you will be away from me, my love, please listen.

It also fits the end of museum.

I Want You. Maurice, can you come to the boathouse already? Alec has no power to teleport you there. I hold one card that I can't use.

I found you. I found the door, but when I stepped through, there was no floor. He found Maurice, bit he's not being here for Alec.

You're coming back And it's the end of the world We're starting over And I love you, darling And I am done, dear

Alec wishes this would happen. Also, he does come back later and they love again over, and "it is finished".

Credit for suggesting the next two songs goes to @beatle-capaldi!!! He also wrote was in quotations!

English Summer Rain

The Most Radical Thing To Do

Hinahanap-Hanap Kita. 1st letter, he's looking for Maurice. Thinking about them together.

In my thoughts and dreams, in every turn of destiny, I look for you. Also applies to that hotel/post-hotel feeling. I look for you, even if I try to forget you, saying goodbye, looking back...

Wildest Dreams. They think a lot of each other. They share once more. But they must say goodbye. Alec saw this coming. Maurice hopes that Alec will remember him like this.

I Hear a Symphony. Alec truly opened up Maurice's eyes. Maurice was meant to be with him. He helped Maurice, changed his life. But now Alec is leaving on ship... Or is he? The symphony leads into...

An orchestral sountrack. The Boathouse. Unfortunately the Maurice soundtrack is not on spotify. It's on my personal YouTube music version. I added it because it just captures the boathouse the only way the sountrack itself can.

The Word of Your Body (Reprise). MLM people have moment of romantic tension, which culminates in confessions of love. Just had to add it. "Haven't you heard the word of your body?" perfectly describes Alec gifting and showing Maurice the wonder of truest physical affection and love. He lets Maurice be okay with himself, and again, changes everything. Every lyric is perfect.

Also, sorry JBW, I like other versions more... Too bad Spotify is mean.

I See The Light. Yeah. Every lyric. Maurice is Rapunzel. Movie Blond too. Both the morning at Russet room and the museum. And the world has somehow shifted. All at once everything is different, now that I see you. "By now they were in love with each other consciously."...

Suddenly Seymour. Suddenly see more, yeah? Clive = ass and someone gives him affection for once, wow! Sidenote, I want to sing this with them and their accents... Suddenly SCUDDER...

Helpless. Musical theatre songs seem to be good retellings of their love story. It's why they belong in post boathouse. Summaries and retellings. They're also good at conveying love they'd feel for each other in general, all times ever. Like loving men, retelling a story.

I'll Cover You. Cute love song feat. gays. I like to imagine them dancing around, declaring their love and devotion for each other. Walking and dancing around like in the original scene, sometime post canon. In my own imagination, I thought of Alec as Angel and Maurice (Christopher) as Collins.

Video Games. They must love spending time together. I thought this to be Maurice POV. Only worth living if somebody is loving you I mean, come on.

It's you, it's you, it's all for you. Everything I do. I tell you all the time, heaven is a place on Earth with you.

Un sospiro. I headcanon that Maurice picks up the piano and plays for Alec. Perhaps he picked it up bc of/after Clive, but now can play it for someone who gives a shit.

Something about the melody reminds me of them. And then it gets more intense... A bit like the passions of love, showing up in sharing and touch and more, too.

Liebestraum. I mean, it means love dream/dream of love. I just had to. Also I just like Liszt.

Take Me Up With You, Dearie. This song is just so sweet... So soft... Edwardian to boot... I love how quintessentially 1909 it is. Discovered it in a YT video. The thought of them getting married makes me cry. This song in general makes me want to cry, it's so romantic, tender, and exudes my favourite era...

Let us float, float, float through the clouds, and just have a lot of fun. We'll go up, up, up as two and then come down as one.

Put Your Head on My Shoulder. We Belong Together. I always imagine Maurice and Alec slowdancing to songs that come on the radio together, when the 1950s hits... Alec probably rests his head on his shoulder as this plays and they dance...

I'm using a lot of ellipses, am I secretly Rupert Graves?

Welcome to the 70s and 80s. They love dancing together and being with each other. Now, Panalangin can be a happy song. My only prayer for this lifetime ... To be together with you. And this heart won't allow if you will be away from me.

Just the Two of Us. What a nice, vibey song. Great title, great scenario of them dancing to this...

Tiny Dancer. Your Song. MLM people in the 70s + Radio, being happy and in love with each other. — I just thought I should add some Elton. A different friend, and I, like him. Maurice sings to Alec, "And you can tell everybody this is your song." That I put down in words how wonderful life is with you in the world.

Electric Love. Fun fact: this song got me to share the playlist. Got me thinking about them and their anniversary again. The funky busy instrumental describes well their passionate love. The highs of electric LOOOOOOVE describe the intensity of them.

Alt text continued: themselves together under and the love. And the love. The song has its own tension and it perfectly pictures their own tension. So yeah, this is THEIR song quite literally.

Sorry if my music taste is perhaps basic. I just made it for when I hear songs that are Them.

Falling for Ya. Alec falls for Maurice. "I saw you when you first drove up, Mr Hall..." Something about Maurice, right? Plus really nice vintage vibes with the music. The bit about Into your arms and it's a secure sure sounds like Maurice. Awh, they're falling for *each other*...

Rainbow Connections. Gay and bi people. Marriage. Everything that Maurice and Alec went through to get here, where they were meant to be. Clive. Working for Clive. Leading up to now.

All the things that had to go right, all the things that had to go wrong, that lead us to the place where we were going all along.

On the YT version there's a soft/jazzy cover of Panalangin here. Because they're old and spending time together and being happy. What a throwback, a defined meaning in their lives over time.

Still Into You. After all these decades... Old and grown, together... True soulmates... Two men can defy the world... Maurice and Alec still roam the greenwood. Imagine Maurice meeting Alec's mom in this context. If only.

Postmodern Jukebox cover, because they are a quintessentially 20th century couple. They exude vintage.

Some piano playing for Alec. Soft, tender, romantic, emotional, true. Feels like nighttime. Feels like Maurice and Alec. And a throwback to the pre 1914 world as well. Claire de Lune feels like... A credits of life piece. Time spent in the early 1980s. Nocturne feels like that too, but more romantic. Smidge less nighttime. Ah yes, Gymnopédies. The truest credits feel of them all. None of these actually are credits for Maurice and Alec, but I struggle to find the word for this feeling. But yeah. These all have Them vibes to me. Piano of the time just does I suppose. Glad to be reminded of them at any time.

What a long playlist. Like going through almost their whole lives together. 1:52 hrs. Almost like a movie. Imagine that. A full movie of THEIR lives... But leaving to the imagination was a good thing. Led to this such action. Thank you E.M. Forster.

Timeline:

1. Pendersleigh

4. & 5. Russet Room. Night, then Morning

9. Cricket

10. Boathouse Nights

18. The Museum

20. The Hotel

21. After

23. The Boathouse

24. They Still Roam the Greenwood

I just like to imagine them dancing to songs on the radio, for decades to come...

[n1kolaiz]

"Man fears death and yet, at the same time, man is drawn to death. Death is endlessly consumed by men in cities and in literature. It is a singular event in one's life that none may reverse. That is what I desire."

Character Analysis: Dazai Osamu

Age: 22 || Ability: No Longer Human

I've done a lot of research concerning Dazai's character because of how complex he'd initially appeared to me. It is still a question as to what his personality type is; some say he's an ENTP while others argue that he's an INTJ, and his enneagram would most likely be 7w8 (The Realist), but that isn't the thing I'm going to focus on.

According to general databases and fan analyses, his temperament is dominantly melancholic. A person's temperament is basically how they react to and live in this world. For those of you not interested in such details, don't worry, I'll get to my point.

The melancholic behaviour is characterised by individualism, self-reliance, and reservation. People of the melancholic temperament are described as having been overcome with sorrow and depressive thoughts, which is beyond the feeling of "just being sad."

Nonetheless, they are generally calm beings, with a tendency to hide how they truly feel by keeping their composure, even in events that demand severe reaction otherwise. Other aspects of melancholic temperaments is that they are absorbed in the cruelty and tragedy of this world, and tend to get lost in their thoughts.

Sound familiar?

Dazai is seen to be as the comic relief of the adaptation, and he'd never fail to bring about a sense of lightheartedness to relieve the serious moments; we all know that for sure. Remember the time both him and Kunikida found Nobuko Sasaki in that godforsaken hospital, and how Kunikida asked him about his opinion on the current state of affairs?

But, despite having developed a calm and serene personality, Dazai's dark side was more apparent during the Dark Era. There was a type of intimidating and arrogant flair evident in his behaviour, or even on his face. It was the type of demeanour that came off cold and terrifying to the rather unlucky people he dealt with. In a moment's notice, they could literally die by his hands. And I believe most of them usually did. It was during this time, he was more brutal and vicious. He lacked remorse. Plus, Dazai's suicidal ideations were more dense during this Era, and his suicidal tendencies did not do anything to alleviate the depth of how dark his character was posed to be.

Side note: Unfortunately, people misunderstand this 'depressed' part of Dazai; they minimise his character so much to the point that people use only a single word to describe him: suicidal. He is, in fact, so much more than that. I'll elaborate more on that in a while.

"Hey, Odasaku, do you know why I joined the Mafia? I joined the Mafia because of an expectation I had. I thought if I was close to death and violence—close to people giving in to their urges and desires, then I would be able to see the inner nature of humankind up close. I thought if I did that… I would be able to find something—a reason to live."

Dazai's approach to life is that of an aimless soul, weary of the world's oppressions and exhausted from the concept of living itself. Nevertheless, what he said above about having an expectation made me realise something: he had a goal, which he wasn't that enthusiastic about achieving—seeking for a reason to carry on with life. So he joined the Mafia.

And there, he met Oda Sakunosuke.

Despite how resilient Dazai carried himself to be (especially during the Dark Era), this specific excerpt stands in direct opposition of how he effortlessly embodied all things daunting:

"With every step I take, I feel as though the earth has opened up into a bottomless pit as I fall endlessly. As Dazai pointed to his forehead and approached the muzzle, the look on his face – like that of a child about to burst into tears – had already been branded upon my eyes."

- quoted by Oda Sakunosuke, excerpt from Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era Light Novel.

When I read this, it sent my mind into a spiral of despair and confusion. It was so vague, yet it made so much sense. Dazai was desperate to escape from this life, but part of him seemed to live in conflict with his desire for death. I won't elaborate more on this, because this specific excerpt has personal meaning to me, as I'd expect it to have for others as well; so I wouldn't want to ruin anyone else's perception on it.

Back to my point: Odasaku was one of the only characters who managed to interpret the complexity of Dazai's mindset and was able to compartmentalise the specific details of his persona that made Dazai the way he was. Oda knew that Dazai wasn't just suicidal.

"For most things in life, it's harder to succeed than fail. Wouldn't you agree? That's why I should attempt suicide rather than commit it! Committing suicide is difficult, but it should be relatively easier to fail at attempting suicide!"

Others boasted about how he was just a suicidal maniac, and that was only because of how good Dazai was at concealing his own feelings whilst flamboyantly priding himself in new, risky techniques, which he sometimes elaborated on. But Oda, on the other hand, saw through his jokes, and empathised with his friend, never wanting to ever barge into his vulnerability without Dazai's permission, but still trying to be there for him.

"Listen. You told me if you put yourself in a world of violence and bloodshed, you might be ale to find a reson to live. You won't find it. You should know that. Whether you're on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity."

Notice how Odasaku recognised Dazai's despair, before Dazai even dared to acknowledge his very own emotions? That was why, at Oda's death, he took the initiative to uncover Dazai's bandaged eye to show him that there was no use in concealing his feelings anymore.

Odasaku's last words to Dazai was to "be on the side that saves people," for he was aware that even though Dazai didn't believe there was a clear distinction between good and evil, he thought that perhaps Dazai would find meaning in his life, even if it was just a little bit of purpose.

In Dead Apple, we briefly relive this moment, but I'll write more on that some other time.

And when Dazai joined the ADA, he loses that dark side to him. No, wait, let me rephrase that: he loses a part of that dark side to him. He eliminated the raw sense of bitterness against the world from his face, and instead, he is seen to be a little more passive, and a little more adaptive. No doubt, he still does explicitly state his desire to die, but his wishes are very specific, if you know what I mean.

And a few years later, his journey with Atsushi began.

Atsushi and Dazai's relationship is just one of a kind. I think it isn't a matter of whether Atsushi needed Dazai, or whether Dazai needed Atsushi. It's the fact that they both needed each other. It's the way they both worked hand in hand, and how they sustained each other in ways they were lacking.

The two were polar opposites, but they had a tender kind of warmth embedded in their protectiveness for each other. Atsushi was just as lost as Dazai, but somehow, they worked together just fine. It was like their duality was meant to be. It was the type of symbiotic relationship, where their care for each other was implied, but very deep.

Does this also sound familiar... perhaps, in relation to Dazai's friendship with Odasaku?

Side note: Oda and Atsushi have the same enneagrams, which is Type 2, 'The Helper.'

There is a sort of balance that is brought about by two opposites. Odasaku taught Dazai many things, and I believe Oda learned a lot about a man's life from the way Dazai lived out his life with the innate desire to die. Atsushi sought for the right to live, while Dazai searched for a reason to live; in addition, Dazai validated Atsushi's feelings, and Atsushi was able to acknowlegde the amount of pain Dazai was going through.

Despite how Dazai's perspectives and beliefs stood in contrast with those of Oda's and Atsushi's, a type of inseparable bond connected the man who no longer felt like he was human, to the people who was the most human.

No Longer Human in the Japanese romaji is 'Ningen Shikkaku.' Ningen means "human," and Shikkaku means "disqualified." The late author, Dazai Osamu, wrote the book No Longer Human. He had gone through the rough throes of trauma and wrote this book as a semi-autobiography, whose plot was centred around a man who faked happiness, for he was tainted by the truth that everyone around him was fake themselves. He turned his life into a joke in order to protect himself from the delusions of this world.

This brings us back to the melancholic temperament, where a person was too deeply immersed in the sad truths of reality and the world itself.

And that's what Dazai's character and ability is based on: being disqualified as a human being, because he wasn't well-versed with what being human was actually like. The fabrications of being human sprung up all around him, but he wasn't willing to be fooled by how ingenuine the world truly was.

“I am convinced that human life is filled with many pure, happy, serene examples of insincerity, truly splendid of their kind—of people deceiving one another without (strangely enough) any wounds being inflicted, of people who seem unaware even that they are deceiving one another.”

- excerpt from Dazai Osamu's No Longer Human.

People who don't feel human emotions or don't react to circumstances the way humans do have a variety of ways of explaining how they feel inhuman. They are highly intelligent, which separates them from the average class of humankind, since they've analysed and untangled the truths of life in order to attain understanding, which they value above all else. But, this understanding of the world and its painful truths results in a deep kind of sorrow, which only a few people can seem to empathise with in order to help them out with that burden.

“Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on earth.”

-excerpt from Fyodor Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment.

Don't you think that this deep sorrow that lies in the heart of the intelligent, makes them the most human of all? They're too human, to the point where they don't feel human. Perhaps, it is a type of defence mechanism, where the mind numbs the heart from feeling normal human emotion, because logically breaking down such concepts is easier than feeling them. But it comes at a price. The heart is willing to recklessly comprehend and fathom any sort of emotion, including pain in its true form, but the mind bears more pain in understanding such concepts because it seeks to decipher every single agonising detail of how complex human emotions are. The mind thinks, the heart feels. There is a clear distinguishing factor between the two. Whether feeling hurts more than thinking, or thinking hurts more than feeling, or whether both these processes work hand-in-hand to make up the reality of life itself, is up for an individual to decide.

Only a few people can seem to empathise with intelligent people who are deeply sad at heart, in order to help them out. As for Dazai, it was Atsushi and Oda. They never took away the pain, but they made him grow from it; it worked vice versa, too.

Of course, there are less tedious and more appealing aspects to the concept of Dazai's intelligence. Dazai was seen as a threat to his enemies because of how manipulation and his keen skill of deduction made up how sharp his mind was. Besides, no one could commit '138 murders, 312 cases of extortion, and 625 cases of fraud, along with various and sundry other crimes,' without having a certain level of intelligence, right?

Dazai had the moral alignment of 'chaotic neutral.' He was more focused on using his intellect to achieve the desired end results of a predicament, and he wasn't afraid to use the wrong means. A famous example was when he deflated the airbags of Ango Sakaguchi's car in order to gain the assured protection of Kyouka Izumi.

Justice is a weapon. It can be used to cause harm, but it cannot protect or save others.

Another example was when he blew up Chuuya Nakahara's car.

Just kidding. That was just a simple pastime (；・∀ ・)

His moral alignment points to what Oda said about him: the part where he mentioned that Dazai didn't really see any difference between good and evil. As long as his ends were achieved, especially if it were in the benefit of his fellow colleagues, he wasn't afraid to exploit, threaten, or endanger others' wellbeing. Because, at the end of the day, the end result triumphed the morally bad methods utilised to achieve it, correct? He always had a reason for his motives and actions, even if those actions were evil and inexcusable.

(eg. action: the psychological abuse he bestowed upon Akutagawa Ryunosuke.

motive: to enable him to hone his own ability favourably and to curb his arrogance)

But the consequences of one's actions will always catch up with a person, no matter what heights they've achieved.

Okay, we're reaching the end of my rambling very soon, I promise.

“If I had to go, I’d like to go out just as beautifully.”

“I’d prefer you don’t go.”

This part of the post is highly inspired by iwachuwu!!

An important factor of Dazai's development is highlighted BSD Wan's episode 10:

I'd like to appreciate that this scene focuses on how much Dazai actually means to Atsushi. When Atsushi responds with "I'd prefer you don't go," he said it lightheartedly for he thought Dazai was joking. But he wasn't. And once Atsushi absorbed the fact that Dazai meant what he said, he was overwhelmed with anguish at the thought of ever losing Dazai. Dazai, on the other hand, had a sense of longing on his expression. There was that look of pure desperation on his face. He was so desperate, yet he knew he couldn't act on his desperation due to a promise he'd made to someone dear to him. But keep in mind, Dazai is unpredictable, so we can never be sure of what's going on in that headspace of his.

Nevertheless, this time, Atsushi recognised Dazai's suffering, as no one usually cared to do, and Dazai didn't put in any effort to hide how he truly felt, as he habitually did. And this mutual emotional connection happened countless times during all the times Oda spent with Dazai as well.

To summarise,

Dazai's character had been carefully wired and patterned out in a way only a few would put in the effort to understand. Dazai was more than just suicidal; he was a being wandering from place to place with no specific aim. He was too smart for his own good. Dazai understood too well of how the world worked and deemed it void of any sort of hope.

Side note: Yes, the truth does come at a price, but it all comes down to how a person understands the truth. As for Dazai (both character and the author he was based off upon), well, it was quite tragic. But that's the way it is for some people, I suppose. But everyone has a different path to travel on, remember that.

His transition from working with the Port Mafia to the Armed Detective Agency was proof of how well-executed his character development was. It was two different personas morphed into what he is today: a womaniser with questionable morals a person who is still standing even after the rough refining process endowed upon him by the realities of this life.

However, he had people along the way come and teach him a thing or two, which perhaps made his life a little more interesting. Perhaps these people were passing clouds that hid the void out of sight for just a moment, and Dazai was always seen to be grasping on to these moments, and letting them go whenever it was time to let go.

His outlook on life makes his intellect look all the more intriguing. It shows that not only does his intelligence contribute to his own wit and shrewdness, but also the practical sense of realism that explains how tired he is of the concept of living because of the truths there are to bear.

However he's enduring the pain right now is by far the most bravest thing a person could commit themselves to doing. It takes courage, and it takes strength, but only a few would ever take the time to recognise such efforts.

Dazai has one of the most beautiful character developments, but I do hope that the development doesn't reach its end anytime soon.

fanart credits: @S7dOZPN3jWBB6cW on twitter

“Now I have neither happiness nor unhappiness.

Everything passes.

That is the one and only thing that I have thought resembled a truth in the society of human beings where I have dwelled up to now as in a burning hell.

Everything passes.”

excerpt from Dazai Osamu's No Longer Human.

[theji]

Things Yizhan Made Me Do

It's BXG Day today! 🐢💛

To commemorate the occasion, I thought of making a list of 13 out-of-character things that I've done since falling into the fandom. (OK I'm a bit late I meant to do this sooner, the day is ending soon in a couple of hours).

1. Start a blog

And a public one, no less. I had a blog when I was in my teens but that was private, like a personal diary. My day job already involves writing so off-work I would usually like to indulge in mindless activities. Now, here I am, maintaining a Yizhan blog. I have not even used Tumblr prior to this but I'm enjoying it now, rambling about our fav boys. Writing is not a chore if it's about them.

2. Join a fandom

I joined a boy band fan club once upon a time, some 15 years ago, but I was never as invested in it as I am now with Yizhan. Back then it was just buying some merch, attending their concert/autograph sessions, listening to their songs. Apart from work, dog mum duties, personal relationships, other hobbies like kombucha brewing, most of my free time is now spent on the fandom. My Netflix account is crying. There is just so much to do and catch up on (I'm not complaining). I also enjoy interacting with and learning from other bloggers here. Antis are no fun and some industry news/developments/hate messages are upsetting but ultimately, you curate your own fandom experience. And I choose positivity and rationality.

3. Indulge in RPS

I don't ever 'ship'. What is 'ship'? 😆 I was always a dutiful audience, just enjoying whatever drama series and moving on after that. I started with CQL like most people and I didn't even notice/like GGDD until much later. Didn't even set out to 'ship' anyone but now I'm a self-professed turtle. SZD is SZD, and anyone can see something special between them if you keep an open mind. I wrote about my SZD reasons here previously. That said, GG & DD are individuals, each with their own successful careers. They come first, the ship comes second. That I'm very clear of.

4. Use Chinese apps

Gosh, my phone and tablet are now full of Chinese apps. I used to have only WeChat cos I needed it for work but now I have Weibo, Oasis, Douyin, WeTV, MangoTV, Youku, etc. Some of them are not even available in the app store so I had to find alternative sources to download them. haha..I even have paid membership for some of these apps. And now, browsing Weibo daily becomes a routine. If you wish, you can just get stuck browsing Weibo for a long long time. It's entertaining.

5. Read fan fic

I only started about 6 months ago but now I'm hooked and fics are largely the only thing I read these days, apart from news. But I only read Yizhan or WangXian fics (p.s. calling for fic recs of other pairings!) I know some might have different feelings about fan fics but to me, I really just see them as fiction, with characters (and sometimes traits) bearing similarities to GGDD. Similarly, I separate the platform from the incident so I have no problems going to A03 despite GG's incident. I just enjoy seeing the characters named XZ/WYB having happy endings in many different timelines and universes. While most of the fics I read are explicit (by design), I don't use them as tools to play out certain fantasies or to think of GGDD in a sexual manner. In fact, I really hate fics that have little substance and just go into the explicit parts without plot development. I like those with interesting premises too, like one I read recently where XZ is a serial killer and WYB is a police officer investigating the case but also in love with him. I do have plans to share my list of fav fan fics some time down the road so keep an eye out for it!

6. Willingly read Chinese

Yes, Chinese may be my mother tongue but I don't use it much in daily living unless I have to. I also find it tedious to read Chinese cos the characters are just so squashed together. If I have a choice, I will always pick English. But now, I read so much Chinese from my daily weibo browsing. I even read fan fics in Chinese! Who am I? On the plus side, I think my Chinese comprehension and translation skills improved. I also picked up some internet lingo used by Chinese netizens, which are pretty interesting like doi, 🐮🍺, 🖍. My all-time fav is yyds.

7. Act like a cougar

In real life, I have always maintained that younger men are childish. At least those I have encountered. But look at me now, fangirling over two younger men (I am closer in age to GG, but still..). I even jokingly call them my 'China Boyfriends'. I look at them very respectfully most of the time.

8. Buy merch

Seriously, once you start, you can't stop. At least that was what happened to me, although I'm still quite selective when it comes to supporting their endorsements. I usually go for consumables like food, cosmetics vs collectibles cos I'm more practical. Also, GG says to support their merch within reasonable means so that's what I'm doing. Just buying things that I'm interested to try and not because it has their faces or names slapped on it. In a way, this suits me cos I like trying new brands and stuff anyway.

9. Keeping a Yizhan archive

Photos, weblinks, videos, songs, fan fics list..my phone is full of these things now. I think my Yizhan photo gallery is only second to the folder with my dogs' pictures. But how can you resist when we are blessed with new pics of them almost every week?

10. Camp for livestreams

I'm lucky I live in the same time zone as the boys so I don't have to wake up in the wee hours of the morning just to watch something. But that's the thing, being in the same time zone sometimes make me feel like I HAVE to watch that thing live because, why not? Why wait? Not shy to admit that I once watched a live programme in the middle of work but I made sure I finished what needed to be done. I think so long as we don't let these livestream schedules run our lives, there's no harm in camping for them.

11. Watch c entertainment

I am one of those who used to pass over Chinese productions, simply because it's a Chinese production. Not in a scoffing manner but I'm just genuinely not interested in them nor the celebs. I was more of a US/UK production kind of person, occasionally Korean/Japanese. Now, I'm learning to enjoy them although I just watch those with GGDD in them. No energy to follow other Chinese celebs anyway. The other programme I'm contemplating watching even if it doesn't have them in it is Who's the Murderer (GG was only in one of the cases) cos I like the premise. On the flip side, now my sis and partner keep making fun of me cos to them, all I do now is "watch China shows". That is so not true. Or is it?

12. Write fan mail

I wrote a letter to GG once. A long-ass letter. I hope he read it. That's all I'm gonna say. 🙈 hahahahaha

13. Desire to visit China

China was never on my list of to-visit places. Just wasn't interested. I have been to Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou a few times in the past for work but even then, I never felt the urge to revisit for leisure. Now, I wanna visit GG and DD's home town, visit Chongqing to see the graffiti wall with Bobii Zanbii on it, eat mala hotpot and try out their sauce recipe, attend BXG events, dine at the CQL restaurant... Watching TTXS also made me realise that there are many beautiful places in China with natural landscapes and all that. I used to be clouded by my disdain for the regime and some behaviour of its citizens but now, I recognise that the country is separate from the regime or a smaller group of poorly behaved citizens. China is a beautiful country and I would love to visit some day. I will fly over immediately on my own if someone gives me tix to ADLAD!!

Well, I hope some of these things resonate with you. Feel free to share the OOC things that Yizhan made you do.

Once again, Happy BXG Day! 🐢💛🐆🐇🐷🌶🦁🍑🐶🍍🛹🎋

[missyslittlepet]

((Requested - It's readers birthday and Heartman surprises them with vines.

It's not very long but I really hope this is kinda what you were after????? Enjoy!!! 👍🏻💙))

Happy Birthday Raven! I Can't Swim.

"What do you fancy for breakfast?" You asked Heartman as you walked to the kitchen.

"Now that you've gained some strength back after your surgery you can have whatever you want. My treat."

You were so happy that he finally got a heart transplant meaning he didn't have to stick to his twenty one minute cycle anymore. You had been together for about a year when he agreed to it having fully moved on from the search for his family.

"Can I get a waffle?" He asked with a grin. He had been on strick healthy foods to help with the recovery so he was ready to get his teeth into something tasty.

"CAN I PLEASE GET A WAFFLE?!" Your brain had the words out before you even thought about it. The reaction was so natural considering how long it had been since you had watched that video.

Heartman jumped at your sudden outburst making his glasses go askew. You laughed again at his reaction, he was so cute sometimes.

"(F/n), you can't go making me jump, I still don't know just how much this new heart can take." Heartman joked.

"I know," You laughed. "I'm sorry Heartman. It was instinct, honestly. I used to love vines."

"Vines?" Heartman asked carefully adjusting his glasses before looking over them at you.

"Yeah, Vine." You grinned excitedly.

Heartman squinted in confusion and you felt your smile drop.

"Oh come on! Please tell me you know what vines are!"

"I can't say that I do (f/n), sorry. What are Vines?"

"Oh my God, how did you miss out on vines?! They were short videos on the internet before the Death Stranding. Just a few seconds long but they were so hilarious! Me and my friends used to communicate solely in vine references, it was great!"

Heartman smiled at your enthusiasm despite not having the faintest idea what you were talking about. He could tell that these 'Vines' meant a great deal to you.

"Ah well," You sighed fondly at the memory. "I'll get you those waffles!"

You beamed at him before returning to your task.

He watched from his chair as you pottered around the kitchen making him his food. The smell floated through the air and made his mouth water. He adored you and appreciated all that you had done for him over the past few years. You were his rock when he lost him family and when the Death Stranding finally ended he realised that you had become his world. You were always helping him in some way. Whether that be through his mourning or getting him waffles.

Heartman knew your birthday was tomorrow and he was yet to find a gift for you. Despite knowing you so well he still struggled with finding gifts for you. He had been searching for a way to show you how much you meant to him but nothing was as heartfelt as you deserved. He had considered proposing to you but he didn't want to be cliche and wanted to make it really special.

However, now that he had found out about your love of 'Vines' he thankfully had a few ideas. He decided he would wait until you went to your meeting with Die-hardman before getting started since he knew you would be trapped there for hours.

Heartman had missed his research and now he had something new to get his teeth into. Due to Sam successfully connecting the Chiral Network it meant that he now had access to archives from before the Death Stranding. He quickly typed in 'Vines' into the database and thousands of folders popped up. At first all he could find was information on plant samples but he was determined to find what he was looking for.

After an hour and a half of searching he finally found a folder containing videos and social media posts. From what you had described he thought he was in the right place. He browsed the video titles and found one called 'Iconic Vines That Cured My Depression And Watered My Houseplants' and decided it was a great place to start. He opened up the video and watched intently not sure what to expect.

"Two bros chilling in a hot tub. Five feet apart cuz they're not gay!" The video was of two men and lasted only a few seconds.

"What on earth?" Heartman said pushing his glasses up his nose. He leant in closer to the screen.

"Every time you yell at your kids put a quarter in your no yelling sock and pretty soon you'll have a weapon to bea-"

Heartman couldn't help chuckle at that one. The more he watched the more confused he became in the most wonderful way. The humor was ridiculous but he loved it and found himself laughing along with them. Before he knew it he had binged several compilation videos and had a whole set of notes to create some birthday surprises.

Your cuff flashed as you sat in yet another meeting signaling you had received a message. You were thankful that this was the last meeting of the week. They were getting more and more frequent as they were discussing plans for repairs to old delivery equipment. Of course this meeting just so happened to be on your birthday. Lucky you right?

You hadn't gotten the chance to speak to Heartman before you left. He still slept a lot despite his recovery almost being over meaning he was still fast asleep when you were getting ready. He looked so peaceful and you kissed his forehead and snuck out the door, careful not to wake him.

After half an hour more of listening to renovation plans the meeting finally came to an end allowing you to check your mail. You felt a smile tugging at your lips when you saw Heartman's name pop up. You always loved seeing what he wrote to you.

"Good afternoon love, I'm sorry I wasn't awake to see you off. I hope you're having a great birthday and I can't wait for you to come back home to me. Missing you always,

- H x "

You grinned at your cuff before making your way back home. You knew the drive would take forever.

Heartman stood back to admire his creations. Truth be told he was really proud of himself. He never considered himself good at gift giving but this time he was excited. He couldn't wait to see the look on your face when you saw what he had been planning. With a grin Heartman placed the last tray down on the table and waited for you to arrive home.

When the door finally slid open Heartman jumped up and ran towards it to greet you.

"Happy birthday (f/n)!" He said as he wrapped his arms around you tightly and gave you a kiss.

"Close your eyes." He said before you could come any further into the house.

You looked at him suspiciously before doing so anyways. Heartman took your hands in his and began leading you through the house and into the living room area.

"Okay (f/n), you can open them!" He said awaiting your reaction eagerly.

Slowly you opened your eyes and were met with trays of food on the table.

"Welcome to Chilies! I hope you're hungry!" Heartman's grin grew wider.

"What is all this?" You laughed looking at the strange choices of food.

"Could I interest you in some Freeshavoca-do?" Heartman asked pointing to some guacamole in a bowl.

You felt your smile widen.

"Or perhaps some hurricane tortillas?" Heartman could tell that his references were being recognised.

You were beaming at this point. You couldn't believe what he had done for you. Now all the foods made a little more sense to you.

Heartman gestured at a plate of chicken strips.

"Fuck ya chicken strips!" You both shouted in unison. Heartman's new heart melted at how happy you were.

"Oh Heartman!" You pulled him into a hug. "Thank you so much, this is the best present ever!"

He wrapped his arms around you and kissed your forehead.

"This is actually your present." He said taking a step towards the table and picking up the gift box from it. He handed it to you and waited.

You bit your bottom lip as you took the lid off. When your eyes fell upon the wrapped object you started to laugh knowing full well what was under the paper. You quickly ripped it open and put on your best child's voice.

"An avocado... thanks!" You giggled and placed the box back on the table.

"Actually," Heartman laughed. "This is your real present." He pulled a small box from his pocket and handed it to you.

You took the second box and opened it still laughing from the avocado. Inside was a USB stick. You looked up at him and raised your eyebrow.

"It contains thousands of vines so you will never have to miss them again!" Heartman looked so proud of himself. "Happy birthday (f/n)."

You brushed your finger over the USB stick and felt tears come to your eyes. To anyone else they were just stupid videos but they held so many memories for you. They transported you back to before everything went to shit, made you relive moments with those you had lost a long time ago. No one had ever given you a gift that thoughtful before.

"Heartman... I... Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me... How much you mean to me..." You smiled blinking away your tears. "I love you so much."

"And I love you too (f/n)." Heartman rested his palm against your cheek and you nuzzled into it. "We could make a night out of this and play them on the big screen if you'd like? I've grown quite fond of them."

"I'd love to!"

You quickly ran to set it all up while Heartman shut out the day light and set the lighting to pink and blue.

The whole night was amazing. You both cuddled up and feasted on the vine related food while laughing like a pair of hyenas. You were over the moon that he seemed to enjoy vine humor just as much as you did. When it started getting late and you started yawning Heartman stood and switched the screen off.

"Come on, you look tired." He smiled warmly, hold out his hand to you.

You took his outstretched hand gratefully with another yawn. You went to start grabbing the plates but he stopped you quickly.

"Don't you worry about those love, I'll tidy this up. It is your birthday after all." Heartman smiled grabbing the plates from the table. He hummed to himself as he made his way to the kitchen area.

"This bitch is indeed empty. Yeet." Heartman chuckled loudly throwing the plates in the dishwasher.

You shook your head and laughed at the butchered attempt of a vine quote and wondered how you ever got so lucky. This truly was the best birthday you could have ever asked for. Vines, food and Heartman. What's not to love?

[kleinemuisje]

Theodosia Hamilton

Part 4

24th of November, 1801. Philip woke up with an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. He tried to remember whether he'd dreamt about anything that night, but it was all slipping away from him, like sand through his fingers. A dark figure with a gun, and someone counting, counting up to 7...

He shook himself off as if he were a dog, and leapt out of bed. It was just a nightmare, he reminded himself firmly. He was far too old to still be scared of a nightmare. He walked across the room and flung open the curtains, basking in what little early morning sun was filtering through the window, trying to dispel the remnants of his dream.

He failed. It haunted him all through the rest of the morning, despite his mothers best efforts to find out what was wrong, his fathers rough words of comfort, his siblings practical jokes and awkward hugs. He was morose, and it showed, but he could not for the life of him figure out why. He should be able to shake off a nightmare more easily than this, shouldn't he?

Making his excuses shortly after breakfast, he retired to his room, where he sat sulking by the windowsill fiddling with a pistol. He was interrupted by a knock on the door. Before he had the time to shout "Come in!", his father had already marched into the room, looking resolute. Philip sighed. He couldn't guess why his father wanted to talk to him, but he did know they'd end up fighting - they always did, now.

"Son." The older Hamilton cleared his throat awkwardly, sitting down gingerly on the edge of Philips bed. "Look, I know we haven't gotten on since, well... you know, but I'd like to think you could still come to me for some fatherly advice. I know why you've been moping around all day."

Philip glanced over at him, surprised.

"Look son, I've been there too. When I was a young man, before I met your mother, there were plenty of other girls that caught my eye as well. But you have to realise that this Burr girl - it is her, isn't it? I know you met her a few nights ago, Burr wrote to me of it, and I thought that might have set this off. Anyway, this Burr girl - she's completely unsuitable. You see that, Philip, don't you?", he asked, despairing.

"I mean, her father's been my enemy since last years election, he defected from our party to join Jefferson, of all people, he doesn't stand up for any of his views when it comes to a proper debate, it's a miracle he made it to Vice President in the first place-

The sound of a knock on the door stopped him - and quite possibly saved him, too, thought Philip darkly, laying his gun down on the cabinet. If he heard another one of those self righteous speeches...

Out of curiosity, he glanced down to see who was at the door. A dark head of long hair, one long lithe arm raised, a dress that looked oddly familiar...

Philip jumped up and bolted out of his room, ignoring his fathers questions. He met his mother at the door, but before she could open it he grabbed hold of the handle and gave her a pleading look and she stepped away, seeming almost amused. Sucking in one deep breath, he swung the door open, and tried to put a polite smile on his face.

It was her. She'd been about to knock again, and her hand was still raised before him. She seemed startled by how suddenly he'd appeared there, and moved her hand back down to her side slowly, almost cautiously. On impulse, Philip took hold of it. He was still smiling, but it was a different smile now - no longer so much the casual expression convention demanded but something deeper, something more honest.

He was jolted out of his reverie when his mother cleared her throat. "Philip, why don't you show our guest in? I'm sure she must be cold by now, the weathers been dreadful..."

Philip stepped backwards, blushing, but forgot to let go of her hand, and ended up half dragging Theodosia across the threshold and into the Hamilton house. When he realised what he'd done the blush in his face only increased, until he thought he must be positively scarlet. Muttering some breathless apologies, he turned round and strode through to the drawing room, his mother audibly sighing and inviting her in, before shutting the door behind her.

The first minute sitting around the table in the drawing room, waiting for the tea his mother had called for to arrive, was almost unbearably awkward. All attempts at an actual conversation stuttered into silence, and nothing Philip tried seemed able to keep the discussion moving.

Theodosia had, she explained briefly, come only briefly to thank him for 'rescuing her' (her words, met with a yet deeper blush and a muttered denial from Philip) from the street outside the theatre. It was only when she mentioned what had happened with Eacker that Eliza stopped looking shrewdly between her son and her guest and glared sharply at Philip.

"He had a gun, did you say, Miss Burr?"

Her words dripped from her mouth like acid, and Philip winced, knowing he'd be in real trouble as soon as Theodosia left. Theodosia, on the other hand, seemed to realise her mistake, and faltered, trying to take back what she had said.

"Yes, Mrs Hamilton, he did - but I'm sure whatever reason that was for can be no fault of your son - indeed, once my father had scared Mr Eacker off, Mr Hamilton was more than willing to let it go."

Philip hid desperately behind her flimsy excuse. "I was, mother - I mean, I did. It was barely a fight at all, anyway, I was just annoyed about some stupid things he said. All I was doing was returning Theodo- returning Miss Burr, I mean, to her fathers house."

At that moment, their tea arrived, and Philip breathed a great, internal sigh of relief, casting about for a new topic of conversation. His mind settled on Maria Jefferson, and he asked Theodosia whether she'd been alright, not caring about the answer, looking only for an excuse to gaze intently at her without seeming rude.

Theodosia replied in the positive, and mentioned that she'd gone back home to her husband and their young son near Monticello - and as soon as she said it, Philip remembered his own summer holidays to Virginia, staying on the Washington estate. When he said as much to Theodosia, she told him that she'd been down there too, only a few weeks before - although she had stayed with the Jeffersons instead of the Washingtons, of course.

She spoke of long, warm days in the sun, with the air so arid that she had at one point cracked an egg on her balcony, just to see if it would fry - of the sound of cicadas so deafening in the night she thought she'd go mad with it - of the ballroom in Jeffersons home, which was so stately and so encrusted in gold and diamonds that she was almost afraid to touch anything, for fear that she break it...

Philip interrupted occasionally, adding his own thoughts and his own memories, but for the most part he was content to watch her joyfully recollect all that had happened that past summer, as if he could breathe in her happiness, or the warmth she spoke with.

It was a long time before he realised that his mother had disappeared, but he did not concern himself with it. There was too much for him to take in the moment to wonder properly about where she might have went, and it was only when he heard faintly the sound of raised voices floating down the staircase that he realised she had gone upstairs to stop his father from interrupting the two of them.

He looked at Theodosia, and saw that she had heard the voices too, and that she knew what they meant, and was instantly pained - not just embarrassed, but physically hurt, wanting her to think of him and his family well.

But perhaps she saw that pain reflected in his eyes, because she took his hand and said quietly, "Well, I must be going sir. I only came to thank you."

Philip stood. He took her other hand in his empty one and said hurriedly, "Philip. Call... call me Philip."

"And I am Theodosia..." she said it softly, almost whispering, when his mother came gliding down the stairs, looking strained. The two of them jumped apart as she smiled politely at Theodosia, saying, "Well, I am sorry, Miss Burr, but it seems that my husband and I must be going. I would invite you to make use of the hospitality of my household, but it seems I cannot trust my son for the evening without him running off and getting into some sort of gunfight. If you don't mind...

Theodosia hurried out, saying that she'd already overstayed her welcome, despite Philip and Eliza's denials. She turned to him for a moment before she left, and he breathed in one last time - she was wearing some sort of perfume, he was sure of it, he must remember that perfume - and then she was gone, a carriage waiting for her at the edge of the road.

As soon as the door shut behind her, Philip heard his father striding down the stairs. He turned around to face the music.

Full Story: https://www.wattpad.com/story/236660130-theodosia-hamilton

[a-grounder-from-the-sky]

SKAM España: Long Ass Analyses S02 E10 C3.

Oooh boi! I dont even know how many times I've watched that clip. Guys this two make me feel so much, one clip I'm exited the other I'm confused and then disappointed, mad, sad, happy, sad again, happy again, frustrated, all that at the same time... oof SKAM does that to you. Glad that I discovered this amazing Universe through these two beautiful girls. I wish I could watch this clip for the first time.

Vale ¡ Empezamos !

PARALLEL ! I love parallels. Cris is impatiently waiting for JoJo like "Where's my baby at !" With a beautifully well wrapped little package. One of the first thing that came into my mind was, Cris is waiting Joana the same way Joana waited for her In Perdóname. This time, Cris doesn't wait for Joana to come back she takes matters into her own hands and go to her. We love a confident Cris.

After a little while Joana finally comes into view, and I swear when her eyes locked with Cris, I saw a little rictus form on her lips or I'm wrong and just saw what I wanted to see. But whatevaaah, I know despite the face and the attitude she was giving, Joana was happy to see Cris but she had a role to maintain which was Joana "doesn't love Cris" Bianchi.

My baby Cris politely said Hola with the sweetest voice ever and JoJo was like "Bitch what is you want ?" I wanted to slap her but reminded myself that she was playing a role. But luckily, Cris does not let her tone affect her and gives Jo the pretty package saying "Here love of my life I bought you a gift", I am so proud of how well Cris is handeling the situation, very calm and composed.

Joana roughly unwrap the gift and TADAAAH a book ! Dangerous Liaisons. This book is the centre piece of this season 'cause it's a reflection of Cris and Joana's relationship I mean even the title screams CROANAAA! Dangerous Liaison. As in harsh/complicated/challenging relationship. A bumpy ride don't forget your seatbelt and I feel like it can also be apply for us, the fans, and how their relationship affected us, well at last for me. I mean I haven't had a proper 8 hour sleep in more than a month because of these two, they keep me awake, cause it's or I'm to worry to sleep or I'm to happy. Like... dude ! what is this. I'm having a dangerous liaisons with SKAM España.

Alright carry on.

When Joana sees the book she's like "I already read it, thank you next"

But Cris won't back down and says "Nope, not this one open it"

And BOOOOOOM ! Just like that mi Corazon was hit. I had to pause the video cause I became La Llorona I needed to catch my breathe and to stop my eyes from watering 'cause I couldn't see shit.

I was so not expecting it which made it 100 times better. Funny 'cause it reminded me of when Joana wrote down "Perdóname(I'm sorry)", and did you know that "I'm sorry" and "I love you" are two of the most hard phrases to say to someone ? (-> Needs verification but I'm sure I'm right).

So Cris wrote it down cause you know it's easier then saying it (little advise, when you need to say something to someone but you can't do it cause it's hard, write it down and give it to them. It helps.) And we know that she's not good with saying big and heavy words like I love you.

Cold Joana is still playing hard to get and says "Why now ?" I think she responded like that cause she didn't want to believe it you know ?

Cris answers that because it's the truth, to my surprise Cris says it out loud this time "I love you biiiiish I ain't never gonna stop loving you biiiish", while looking at Joana in the eyes. So proud my baby girl is growing, and being fearless about her feelings. Go girl ! Express yourself. Cris confesses never having said it to anyone but she wanted to tell her at least once even if Joana doesn't love her anymore( rolling my eyes at the biggest lie that I've ever heard but whatevaaah I'll ignore it for now but this needs to be rectify soon). She was so cute and being all shy while saying that. "I know you don't love me anymore but I do love you now and that's all that matters" We love that glow up.

Joana is like "Da fuck girl I told you I didn't love you because I wanted you to stay away from me and you're doing the opposite"

And to scare and push away Cris, Joana tells her that "You don't know what you are getter yourself into, I'm a fucking kinder suprise, I'm very impredictible" which Cris answer by "Reallyyy ! I love Kinder Suprise !" And adds "Please bitch ! like I haven't notice. Since I've met you feels like I'm on a rollercoaster, so tell me something I don't know"

So Joana keeps on going

"I can be really cool in the morning and a dickhead on the afternoon."

Cris: "Okay. Not even scared"

Joana:"Don't want you to have to deal with me."

Cris:"my decision not yours to make."

Frustrated-Joana-cause-Cris-doesn't-back-down:" The reason I was in the hospital is because I got extremely angry at my parents and threaten them to kill myself and almost did it"

Cris: "..............huuum.......... Nope. Still here. Keep 'em coming I won't move"

Joana: "...... Da fuck woman." I loved Joana's face when she realised that no matter what she said Cris wasn't going to Change her mind.

Cris: "I👏🏽AM👏🏽NOT👏🏽GOING👏🏽TO👏🏽RUNAWAY(No voy a salir corriendo). Stick this into your head woman."

And my heart was hit again.

And so was Joana's heart. Look at her face my baby is speechless.

Everything was perfect we got another glimpse at Joana's MI (mental illness). She loves Cris so much that she opened up a bit more to know what was Cris getting herself into, so if she wanted to back down she could even if it meant for Joana to lose Cris. But Cris was like "Nope, you don't get it do you ? I want you. And everything that comes with it. The whole package and if that means having to deal with your MI than so be it, cause it's a part of who you are. And I want ALL OF YOU."

Oh boi so beautiful.

But Joana is stubborn. Bitch stop fighting and accept the love that is giving to you. She says that right now she feels good but tomorrow she doesn't know, same for all the other next days. Which Cris replies with "Alright why the hell is you talking about tomorrow ?? How about we take it slow and think about today. Or better live in the minute. Minuto a minuto"-> OG SKAM fans must have been very happy.

New concept for Joana feels like she never thought about it. This should be known by everyone, live in the moment 'cause you might not be there tomorrow, so live as if there were no tomorrow, cause it's not just another day that you gain but it's also another day that you loose so don't waste time my friends and live minute by minute.

To ease the mood Cris propose Joana if it's possible for her to stand still for 60sec, Joana accepts the challenge and for about 10sec they are looking at eachother with smile on their faces like love birds being all cute and everything, when Cris says "Well look at that 10sec already ! No bombe has exploded that's a good start."

Well that ladies and gents is a rare species called a "Smiling Joana" haven't been seen in ages and need to be protected at all cost enjoy. She's so beautiful.

Cris thinking that she can't help anyone is beyond me cause she can brighten any situation. She's the friend and the Novìa that everyone wants.

Hugs, touching heads, kisses foreheads, staring at eachother, and hug again. And my heart can't take it. While this beautiful song by Bruno Major - Just the same, plays in the back ground. The way SKAM España picks up song is amazing always suits the moment.

I know a lot of you wanted a kiss. Understandable. But in that situation I feel like it was not needed. I've read a comment that says that Cris didn't kissed her cause Joana was so hesitant in even stepping close to her. All the caring look, hug, forehead kisses all that, was better than a kiss. So proud of Cris cause she did exactly with Joana what the girl squad did with her on the previous Clip, she showed how much important to her Joana was.

I'm going to let the lyrics of that part of the clip analyse that last paragraph. Take it as Cris' point of view you saying "Doesnt matter what happen, I'm going to be there for you, love." And you know what ? I'm crying rn 'cause this is beautiful.

🎵So do your worst to me. Test my loyalty. I will pass with distinction of first degree. I lost my mind to you. Somewhere down the line that you drew. But I only have myself to blame. 'Cause I'd still love you just the same🎵

I personally couldn't have ask for a better reunion. And the more clips we get the more I'm having a hard time telling myself that this season and Cris' story will come to an end.

Aaaaaalriiight that was a long ass analysis hope y'all didn't fell asleep in the middle, I won't blame you and if you are still here, thank you for reading everything. I personally didn't think this clip needed an analyses cause everything was pretty clear pero bue. I did it cause it helps me.

Hasta luego amigxs.