xmimikyuusx

[xmimikyuusx]

[xmimikyuusx]

this is not a new observation, and i can’t speak on it with authority because i’m not a Black man, but it’s honestly really. funny. in a way. to go from the latest discourseposting about how trans men’s proximity to maleness gives them all the inherent privileges of cishetero white patriarchy no matter their material conditions…

over to. like. a video by FD Signifier (Black video essayist, highly highly recommend his work) where he just outright uses the term misandry and discusses the intersectionality of maleness with other marginalizations and the way that patriarchy punishes and polices any man who doesn’t fit the patriarchal mold.

idk, it’s almost like the system of patriarchy is bad for everyone, and if you’re going to argue for a more equitable society, you cannot disregard the ways that patriarchy disempowers and damages even the men it upholds, because there’s an extremely narrow range of what’s considered acceptable maleness.

like, for fuck’s sake, even beyond racism and ableism and other intersecting identities — it’s a meme that a lot of adult cis men these days don’t have any close friends, are completely out of touch with their emotions, don’t go to therapy because they don’t know they need it, and are emotionally dependent on their wives.

but no, this is the nuance is dead website, so the fact that white cishet patriarchy hurts literally everyone is… an MRA psyop or something, and not one of the foundational points of intersectional feminism.

Yeah, one of the things about "transandrophobia implies androphobia exists" is that I do not find that to be an apocalyptic scenario. Literally who cares. I need someone to articulate to me why the potential existence of generalized misandry is such a terrifying concept that it justifies picking apart every new word another marginalized community comes up with. What makes that such a dangerous risk that people need to police the language of an oppressed group they don't belong to.*

*this is different from TMA/TME because the issue with that is that it doesn't simply describe transfem oppression, it describes the experiences of other people and defines them as lesser than the pain of transfems

[xmimikyuusx]

being a man is a neutral thing to be. it isn't good. it isn't bad. it just is.

that's why it's so upsetting when people ascribe all these inherent evil things to manhood, and come to the conclusion that by just saying 'i am a man.' you automatically must be all those things.

even if, for example, you just woke up and realized you are a trans man. you have suddenly become evil overnight to people who view man = bad, woman = good even though nothing changed but the way you identify.

men are not inherently predatory, evil, selfish, arrogant, aggressive, emotionless, etc. there are men who are those things, but it's not a prerequisite to being a man. there are women who are those things too. but it's pretty well agreed upon that if you say women are evil, selfish, arrogant, etc. that you're just a misogynistic dick.

this is why when you say 'trans men are the men of trans people.' trans men don't like that. and when you then get shocked that we don't like that, you feign ignorance and act like you didn't mean 'men' as a loaded word rather than a neutral identity.

acting dumb when you know damn well what your intentions with your words were and you know damn well that we know them too is not cute. you say we're the evil predatory men of trans people, but you treat us like dumb little girls who can't see the glaringly obvious intentions behind your words.

[xmimikyuusx]

GET A ROOM

[xmimikyuusx]

ant

more spamtenna under cut cause theyre weird and i hate them

[xmimikyuusx]

I don't want to reblog or even Screencap because the notes were full of a cesspool that I sincerely don't want to touch with a ten foot pole. But a post was breaking down essentially how masculinity and traits we associate with that are fake (though their terminology with it was something that was incredibly cis-centric, I.e "these traits you associate with masculinity are things that women also do" OK what you mean is "feminity" not women, women and feminine are not interchangeable)

And like... it's been something I've thought about quite a lot and something that actually fucking torments me. Because yes. Gender is entirely tied to culture. It's not a physical thing you can hold. It's apart of culture, and can change depending on a: how you experience and interpret that culture and apply or don't apply it to yourself, and b: how that culture enforces this gender and slots certain performances/physical aspects into either "masculine" or "feminine" (which also can get fuzzy, I.e short hair can be masculine or feminine. It's not cut and dry as much as cis ppl want it to be, and it's also entirely dependent on culture. There are cultures where long hair is gender neutral or masculine or has no bearing.)

But I find that the conversation is difficult, because (as quite a few vocal people were asserting,) people want to blame this cultural performance as the source of all that is anti-feminism (even though they won't address the same thing in terms of a feminine performance and how it can harm not just the performer). And then they just fall right into terf shit. Masculinity is evil etc. And the "answer" here is to abolish gender, but what they really mean, is to abolish masculinity and any kind of performance of masculinity, because the association they have is masculine = rapist murderer and feminity = safe and could do no wrong.

There are other ways that gender abolition plays out and there are definitely ppl arguing something completely different, but it's something that makes me flinch away from the conversation, because it essentially tells trans men, or *any* man, that the comfort and joy that they find in the performance of masculinity is wrong, or baseless and unfounded. I've been of the opinion that yes: gender isn't a tangible thing that you can hold in your hands, but it's apart of your culture, and your culture becomes apart of your identity and can be integral to someone's ability to self determine.

Finding and doing things that you feel personally affirm your gender, your identity, is a part of self determination that to me is important and should not be demonized or infantalized. There's such a thing as insecurity and over protectiveness, but the impact that has and where that emotion comes from can vary widely from each individual, and I don't really enjoy the black and white "Yeah its just always is stupid when a man tries deny something that he feels challenges his identity."

Denying someone or depriving someone of their gender identity has been a violent, cruel tool of racism that seems to be forgotten and overlooked by those who argue that people cling too hard to the things they feel support their gender identity. It's a form of dehumanization that is turned into something unimportant by followers of white cis feminism who are too preoccupied with theorizing a world where masculinity doesn't exist.

A side tangent that I'm also of the opinion that this is another root (of many roots) of transphobia; being transgender or gender non-conforming is inherently against (at least western) cultural rules that demand you perform according to your persumed genitals.

Tldr we can abolish the cultural "rules" of gender without telling ppl they're not allowed to experience joy or assert that something affirms their gender, gender is a performance that im making and if it makes me happy to cut my hair short and wear clothes that I think are masculine, let me be happy. I want to determine my own identity and what I think is masculine because it makes me happy. If wearing makeup made me feel masculine, hooray, it's masculine for me. You can talk about how masculinity scares you to your therapist.

[xmimikyuusx]

[xmimikyuusx]

frankly i'd be more inclined to side with the "ugh men on this site love to derail every post to make it about themselves 🙄" crowd if every time i clicked on the blog of someone saying that they weren't a comically loud and proud terf (bonus points if their comment was about a trans man (bonus bonus points if the trans man wasn't even derailing the post and was just asking to be included in a topic that should've included them to begin with))

[xmimikyuusx]

hi. if you say "transfems are predisposed to acting badly because they have penises", no matter what social justice bullshit vocabulary you bury it in, you are a transmisogynist. goodbye.

[xmimikyuusx]

Instead of paying heed to what a white cis dutch man and transfem chaser has to say about the experiences and existence of transgender men, consider donating to Dem Bois, a non-profit charity that supports trans men and transmasculine people of color.

Dem Bois supported me, a Mestizo trans man, during the covid lock down by sending me a care package that helped me countine in the stuggle of survival.

In addition to care packages, Dem Bois also provide grants for chest reconstruction surgery and genital reconstruction surgery.

This is your daily reminder that trans men are the authority of our existence and that the people who know the most about existing and surviving as a trans man, are in fact, trans men.

So, it you've ever spoken over trans men about our lives, our experiences, our oppression, our community, and our conflicts and realize that you need to make amends for the damages you've done to our community by trying to redact our reality to make it fit in your cisnormative worldview, the donation link is here.

[xmimikyuusx]

on a similar note to that 'i think a lot of you guys forget people hate women' post; I think a lot of you guys forget how bad racism truly is and how deeply pervasive and entrenched antiblackness is.

[xmimikyuusx]

No but for real I couldn't give less of a shit about someone's feelings or what they want or how they interpret it or project onto them, Kris deltarune is non binary, if you use she/her or he/him for Kris, even if you're trying to say they're a trans woman or trans man, you suck shit. Canon non binary rep that doesn't suck ass is just as difficult to come across as other forms of trans rep and I'm blocking anyone on sight who thinks it's cool to call Kris those pronouns or insist that they're actually binary trans in some way. Especially in a plot that's about Kris struggling to have control over their own identity and autonomy like come the fuck on. Loser behavior.

[xmimikyuusx]

People will say protect black trans people but keep platforming a white cis Dutch man (PDB) when he talks about our community as if HE could ever understand us enough to be an authority on it. I'm so tired. Like. I'm a black nonbinary person. At least if he was y'know, black and some flavor of trans even though I'd still disagree because he'd be throwing other black trans people under the bus, at least he'd actually have a horse in the race. But no, he's just a moron who will never experience what it's like to be black and trans honking about something he'll never understand and demonizing parts of our community all the while. Arguing that a black trans man has male privilege the same year Sam Norquist was discovered to have been murdered and tortured is a goddamn joke.

It's disgusting.. same man that's besties with the yt tgirl who said she couldn't be racist cuz she's trans, btw. He wants to talk on the blk experience while being racist. He wants to talk on the trans experience while being transphobic. He is weaponizing the concept of minorities against the same minority, using whatever tokens he can find along the way to make himself seem better.

[xmimikyuusx]

"Well, gay men don't have their own words for the way they're oppressed!" the transphobes say-

And okay but hear me out, as someone who has been seen as both a bulldyke and an extremely faggy man in my life - maybe they should? Because there are a lot of aspects of homophobia that are shared between gay men and lesbians, but...there are absolutely male-specific forms of homophobia. Blood donation bans and other HIV fearmongering are one HUGE thing that has way more in common with biphobia (nongendered) than lesbophobia. The way so much male-specific homophobia, pithy as it is to say, really is down to the fear that gay men will treat straight men the way the worst of straight men treat women - there's a similar, but crucially NOT IDENTICAL aspect to lesbophobia, maybe we SHOULD have language to discuss the similarities and differences more in-depth. The way prison rape is treated as a joke, or even a funny and FAIR punishment is pretty male-specific (and also very racist). The way people on this very website will treat emotional investment in fictional MLM relationships as "fetishizing" that "only straight girls" could possibly be into, and/or "erasure of women" (because the only thing women are good for is being love interests, right?)...while STILL finding ways to go "okay but which one is The Girl?" about the handful of exceptions they're willing to make. The way people here KEEP using "twink" as the new "faggot (derogatory)" even after it's been pointed out as a shitty thing to do multiple times.

But we can't acknowledge that on this fucking website, because not ONLY is it considered impossible to be gay and homophobic because bigotry is OBVIOUSLY stored in the identity so no one HERE could POSSIBLY be complicit in it, it also might just cause some very online trans people some dysphoria to admit that gendered transphobia has more in common with homophobia aimed at one's AGAB, which is obviously misgendering, because we all know that what defines your gender isn't your internal sense of it, nor is it even your biology, but rather it's how other people treat you. Of course. -__-

remember that time White women were saying "Black men don't have a word for their specific oppression" and then I posted several academic papers on Black misandry and a "White Serb" was like "uh well that author made a problamatic tweet once"

[xmimikyuusx]

Something that stands out to me re: the whole PDB situation is that if things were reversed and this was a cis woman speaking over transfems and sucking up to transmascs extensively these folks would (rightly) conclude that this person is probably some sort of crypto-TERF chaser. But since it’s a cis man speaking over transmascs, even though he’s literally regurgitating TERF rhetoric AND MRA talking points, transandrophobes are falling all over themselves to defend him.

The double standard is atrocious and it’s so transparently because he’s a cis man. Like come on folks. And this isn’t even getting into the racism of it all but it’s also a huge component because why else would so many of these folks be completely fine with a cis white man telling tmoc what they do or don’t experience? It’s almost like transandrophobes haven’t actually done the work to deconstruct the patriarchal values they’ve absorbed from society and defer to the judgement of the “correct” kind of man.

[xmimikyuusx]

like the thing is that undertale was making a point about the traits of RPGs that are really really strange but are taken for granted as a given for the genre that when taken apart and examined demonstrate an alarming amount of like, colonialist/patriarchal/supremacist rhetoric just baked into it all. and i think what deltarune is then aiming for is to drive home how these ideologies are beat into the young at such an early stage of life in even their most private fantasies they use to escape from those very systemic terrors in the first place. but everyone misses this because people are too busy trying to moralize the act of playing a video game and experiencing a story when the whole point is that maybe all RPGs are inherently political and therefore subject to critical scrutiny. the point is that you should be paying attention to the ways a story wants you to think