#wait does that mean i have guaranteed aven

[angeltism]

it should be illegal for my gacha game fragments to nyat come home

[lowkeyren]

reverse dating tropes w hsr men! (pt. 2)

in which — what the title suggests / those classic fanfic tropes but with a twist

featuring — gepard, aventurine, sunday (separately) x gn!reader

✧.* — wc: total 2.1k, downbad gepard + flirty aven + sunday is js fluff overload, wrecked my brain out for this, serval robin cameo xx, anyway pls enjoy!! reblogs r appreciated <3

boothill jing yuan blade vers here!

gepard ♡‧₊˚

"blind date" but gepard is just too shy to ask you out himself so serval does him a favour —setting you up on a date with him.

gepard clutches the bouquet of ball peonies tightly behind his back; he catches sight of you sitting on a bench, patiently waiting for him. to ease his nerves, he takes a deep breath, reassuring himself, it’s going to be alright gepard, just go over there, give them the flowers, and ask them out! surely it’s not that hard…

upon spotting him, you rise from your seat and wave eagerly in his direction. he hastens his steps, closing the distance between you. as he stands in front of you, you can see a faint blush tinting his cheeks, the rosy hue contrasting with his fair skin. he clears his throat, “ahem…sorry to keep you waiting.” revealing the bouquet behind his back, he averts his gaze downwards, shifting his weight nervously from one foot to the other.

you accept the flowers graciously, smiling warmly at him. “and would you please—” in that moment, his gaze flickers up to meet yours, it's the worst thing he could have done. 

oh aeons… you look so beautiful. his heart races, threatening to leap out of his chest, and he finds himself at a loss for words, his mind a jumble of thoughts and emotions. “hm?” you tilt your head with a soft smile, the sound of your voice washes over him like a gentle breeze, leaving him tongue-tied. he’s sure you can see the redness spreading to his ears now.

panicking, he blurts out “—pass the flowers to my sister.” (re: go on a date with me) 

his eyes widened at his own words, wait no he meant to ask you out on a date! 

“ah… okay, no problem!” you reply, masking your surprise with a polite smile, quickly dismissing any lingering curiosity. though you do find it a bit odd that he would arrange a meeting just to pass on flowers to his sister, but hey perhaps as the captain of silvermane guards, he's simply too busy to visit serval himself. in any case, you admire his thoughtfulness towards his sibling.

“now tell me brother dearest, to what do i owe the pleasure of receiving ball peonies from you?” serval crosses her arm across her chest, learning against her workbench, her face deadpan, oh she’s definitely aware of what happened.

sensing her brother’s nervousness, she shakes her head teasingly. "oh, nevermind! please, spare me the explanation… you totally fumbled, and told them to give the flowers to me? really, geppie? and how long do you plan to drag this out for?" 

gepard sighs as he realises there's no use in trying to deflect her sharp observation. he can only resort to his last-ditch effort now: asking serval to set you up on a date with him. 

so now, you find yourself sitting at a cozy diner, waiting for your so-called “blind date” that serval has set you up on.

(“i guarantee you won’t regret it!” serval throws a playful wink at you; you give up trying to figure her underlying intentions) 

suddenly, a man walks over to you, you assume that he is your date— “gepard? what are you doing here..?” gepard's cheeks flush with embarrassment as he stands before you, a sheepish smile playing at the corners of his lips. "i, uh... i’m your blind date." he admits, swallowing nervously. 

you let out a soft laugh, “oh i was hoping it would be you.” you admit, your voice tinged with a hint of bashfulness.

hoping it was him? so that means you feel the same right?

needless to say, your date went well. before you part ways, you press a soft kiss to his already-burning cheeks (don’t do that again, you’re gonna break him), and you disappear into the distance, leaving behind a trail of butterflies in his stomach; he presses his hand against the spot you pecked, he thinks he might not be able to sleep for the next few nights, what you have done to the poor guy. 

oh gepard, he is so deeply, utterly, in love with you.  

aventurine ୨୧｡˚ ⋆

CEO playboy aventurine takes an interest in you, but you unintentionally lead him on, so he ends up falling heads over heels for you.

“meet me in my office in 5 minutes.” you immediately pause at what you’re doing, and read the message from your boss over and over again. oh gosh you’re really done for now! what did you do wrong?! your mind races as you try to recall any mistakes you’ve made recently, but nothing comes to mind… 

you nervously knock on the door to aventurine’s office, feeling your palms grow clammy with sweat. a voice rings out, “ah, yes please come in.”

you step into the room, not daring to meet your boss’ gaze. “i’m here sir, as you requested. is there anything you need from me?” you suddenly find the marble floor very interesting, opting to stare at it as you anxiously wait for his reply.

aww, are they really that shy to see me? that’s cute.

aventurine’s next sentence catches you completely off guard, “so, what do you think about my new tie, hm?” he walks over to you, a smirk forming on his lips.

is this one of his stupid schemes again? aeons, this won’t work on you.

“...it's crooked. let me fix it for you.” you reach out and adjust his tie, being careful as to not accidentally choke him (even if you really want to, just because he scared the shit out of you by calling you into his office for something like this), lest you get fired.

aventurine is pleasantly taken aback by your boldness. usually those who fall victim to his flirtatious ways are quick to shower him with compliments, but your reaction is refreshingly unexpected. or perhaps you are challenging him? oh well, a little gamble never hurts, right?

it's obvious he’s taken a liking to you; for the next few weeks, he's been calling you to his office more and more frequently, to the point where you're no longer nervous to enter, as you know it’s probably nothing serious. plus, you’ve gotten used to the “strange” reasons he requests for your presence.

including the times where he made you do your work in his office, claiming that he feels lonely and needs your (it can only be you, no one else) company. or the many-times that you told him to manage his money wisely because he CANNOT be spending thousands on you. 

“just a small gift for my favourite employee!” (and it's a whole ass car that costs way above your pay grade)

at this point, you're beginning to think he should hire a secretary. you subconsciously bring the idea up during one of your visits, what you didn’t expect was for him to eagerly agree with you. his eyes twinkle with amusement, “no wonder you’re my favourite, of course you’re interested in being my secretary, well lucky you! your new position begins tomorrow.” 

so instead of hiring a secretary like any normal person would, he makes YOU his secretary. and hey, when did you ever express that you would like to be his secretary? this scumbag…

“oh don’t be so nervous sweetheart, just sort these out for me—” he hands you a folder of documents, his fingers deliberately brushing against yours, lingering for a moment longer than necessary. “and stay here while you work on them.. want to see your pretty face.”

you think your boss is insufferable, even more so now that you’ve fallen for his charms. it's as if he enjoys playing this game of cat and mouse, keeping you on your toes with his teasing remarks and lingering touches. yet beneath the facade of annoyance, there’s something undeniably alluring about the way he looks at you, as if you're the only person in the room. well you’re not far off; you are the sole focus of his attention. 

like right now, while you attempt to maintain your composure under his unmistakably, shameless, lovesick gaze; his lips curl into a mischievous smirk,  “oh by the way, dinner's on me tonight. choose whatever you like." with a coy smile, you decide to tease him, “what? can’t even ask me out properly?” you quip, raising an eyebrow in faux innocence.

and later that night you find your boss on one knee, waiting at your front porch, in his hands are freshly bought flowers. his eyes immediately light up the moment you open the door, a horrified look on your face. “will you go on a date with me?” oh how he delights in your flustered expression.

“i said ask me out! not get down on one knee and propose!” 

“...so will you?”

don’t worry, he knows you'll look forward to the day he proposes (you’re not even dating, yet) but for now he’ll spoil you with the most lavish meal known to mankind, not that you’re complaining about it either. 

sunday ༊*·˚

not-so-accidental confession with sunday who intentionally leads you to overhear him talking about his feelings for you. 

you raise your hand, ready to knock on the door, but a voice from inside halts your movement. you hesitate, your knuckles hovering just inches away from the wood, as the unexpected sound piques your curiosity. 

“brother, why didn’t you tell me this before?” it’s no doubt that the soft-spoken voice belongs to robin, her tone carrying a tinge of surprise; and by the way she addresses the other person, it can't be anyone but sunday himself. 

their conversation sounds tense, you think it's inappropriate to eavesdrop, but just as you were about to leave, sunday's voice catches your attention, and you freeze at the sound of your name slipping past his lips. 

“—their infectious laugh, how their eyes light up with pure innocence, their unwavering passion and selflessness that knows no bounds; always putting others before themselves. how can i possibly not love them?”

your face flushes with warmth upon hearing his words, and you're unable to suppress a cough that escapes; you bring your hands to your mouth, hoping to stifle any further embarrassment.

robin chuckles, “oh brother, i understand exactly what you mean”, a genuine smile spreads across her face. “...seems like you’re expecting a guest” she raises an eyebrow knowingly, “i’ll take my leave now." with that, she gives sunday a reassuring pat on the shoulder and gracefully exits the room, shooting you a playful wink as she walks by.

uh oh… you’re totally busted

you immediately turn on your heels, trying to slip away before sunday realises you're there. but just before you can make your escape, someone grabs your wrist, holding you firmly in place. you turn around to see sunday looking down at you, his eyes flickering with emotions swirling within him.

"i swear i didn't hear anything!" you exclaim, waving your hand in front of you defensively.

“really…nothing?”

“yup! nothing at all.” you lie through your teeth, cringing at yourself.

“nothing? ...but i made sure you were there to hear everything.” a hint of disappointment evident in his voice.

“huh..?” your expression twists with confusion, a faint blush creeping up from your neck. you were meant to hear that? he just poured his heart out to his sister…about you! 

sunday smiles, oh there’s no point in lying now, he knows you heard him. (as expected)

he steps closer to you, his arms caging you between the wall and himself. “you know i meant everything i said right?” a soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips, leaving you momentarily speechless, unsure of how to respond; you can feel your chest swelling with warmth, his wings flutter subconsciously as he awaits your response. 

“y-yes…” you avert your gaze, too shy to stare into his eyes. “please, look at me…” he gently tilts your chin up, his eyes boring into yours. “i wanted to tell you that i love you, for so long” he looks vulnerable at that moment, a side he only ever shows to you; a side of him only you get to see.

“i love y—” sunday gently places his finger on your lips, silencing you. you tilt your head at his gesture, your mouth still agape. “don’t say it back yet…” moving his hand to hold your face, “allow me to take you out on a date, then tell me how you feel.” you interlace your fingers with the his that rest against your face, nodding your head in acceptance.

though sunday longs for you to utter those 3 words to him, he wants to make that moment perfect, just as you are to him. despite sunday’s intention for you to overhear him, he regrets not being able to catch your reaction to his words, so next time (re: on the date), he vows to repeat it as many times as necessary; he will do anything to fulfill your every wish.

and should you desire for him to put a ring on your finger, he will do it in a heartbeat. 

✧.*

masterlist boothill jing yuan blade vers here!

[demisexual-pride]

Demisexual 101

What is a Demisexual?

Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond. Most demisexuals feel sexual attraction rarely compared to the general population, and some have little to no interest in sexual activity. Keep reading to understand more about this orientation.

What is the emotional bond demisexuals need for sexual attraction?

It varies based on the demisexual’s personal experiences and is slightly different for everyone. Emotional intimacy is a main component, usually, so some demisexuals find themselves attracted to close friends or romantic partners. Other components may include familiarity with the person and knowledge about them (ex: learning about aspects of their personality).

However, forming an emotional bond doesn’t guarantee that sexual attraction will happen. It is just a prerequisite for it to occur at all. The length of time required to develop an emotional bond may vary. For some demisexuals, it’s after several years of being close friends with someone, and for others, it might be a short but intense experience, such as traveling abroad for a week with them.

Isn’t it normal to only want sex after getting to know someone?

There’s a difference between feeling sexually attracted to someone and wanting to have sex with them. Sexual attraction isn’t something you can control either you have sexual feelings for someone or not. You can’t force it to happen and you can’t force it to go away, so you don’t have a choice in the matter. Sexual behavior, on the other hand, is something you can choose to participate in, or not.

Most people on the non-asexual side of the spectrum feel sexual attraction regardless of whether or not they have a close emotional bond with someone. They may have sexual feelings for attractive people on the street, classmates or coworkers they’ve barely spoken to, or celebrities. However, they may choose to wait to have sex for a variety of reasons: it might not be feasible or appropriate, they want to make sure the person is respectful and kind, it’s against their religious beliefs, they only want to have sex in a romantic relationship, etc. The difference is that demisexuals don’t start out with these sexual feelings at all.

How does demisexuality relate to asexuality and the asexual spectrum?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation in which one feels little to no sexual attraction or interest in sex (the former definition is more widely used, but some asexuals use the latter definition. Both are valid and accepted.) Demisexuals are considered to be on the asexual spectrum, meaning they are closely aligned with asexuality, but not quite asexual. The asexual spectrum has asexuality on one end and non-asexuality on the other end.

Demisexuals are considered part of the asexual community because for the most part, they don’t feel sexual attraction. Many demisexuals are only attracted to a handful of people in their lifetimes, or even just one person. Many demisexuals are also uninterested in sex, so they have a lot in common with asexuals.

The thing that makes them different from asexuals is that they are capable of feeling sexual attraction it’s just that it only happens after they form a deep emotional bond with someone.

How do demisexuals feel about sex?

According to the 2014 AVEN Census, two thirds of demisexuals are uninterested in and/or repulsed by sex. However, there is a significant portion that enjoys it. Demisexuals have a variety of feelings about sex and other sexual activities, like masturbating and watching porn, so it’s hard to make statements about the group as a whole. All feelings about sex are valid in a demisexual identity: the only thing that defines demisexuals is that they only feel sexual attraction after forming an emotional bond.

Whether or not they feel sexually attracted to someone or not, they can choose to have sex too. They might want to have sex in order to get pregnant, to see what it’s like, or some other reason.

Why do demisexuals need a label?

The label helps demisexuals form a sense of community and a stronger sense of self. Through this label, they learn that there are others like them out there, and that there’s a community to support them. In this community, demisexuals can talk to others who share the same experiences, share advice on navigating a very sexual world, and find emotional support. The community unites around this label, which helps its members feel more secure in their identities.

Many demisexuals grow up feeling different from those around them. Most people have their first instance of sexual attraction in their preteen years. From that point on, sex becomes a topic of curiosity and interest for them, and they eventually look forward to pursuing it. For children and teens in school, there is a lot of talk about sex what it’s like, what it’ll be like, etc. This becomes more prevalent as they approach college and early adulthood.

Demisexuals often feel alienated by these conversations because they aren’t interested in sex, they don’t find people sexually attractive, or both. When the conversation turns to hot celebrities, for example, demisexuals may feel confused, and wonder what it is their friends see and feel. They wonder if they will eventually feel it too, and some even end up feeling “broken.” Knowing that there are others like them helps demisexuals feel less alone.

Am I Demisexual if..

The only thing that makes you a demisexual is if you feel sexual attraction only to people with whom you have a close bond. Unfortunately, doubt is part of the demisexual experience, and many questioning people find themselves wondering if something about them means they can’t identify as demisexual. Here are some common behaviors and characteristics which do not invalidate demisexuality.

I masturbate.

Some demisexuals enjoy masturbating for various reasons: because it feels good, because it’s relaxing or helps them sleep, or because for them, it’s a body maintenance thing. Masturbation doesn’t involve other people, so it definitely doesn’t invalidate demisexuality.

I enjoy having sex.

Sexual attraction is different from sexual behavior. You can have sex even if you’re not sexually attracted to the person, after all. Demisexuals who enjoy sex, who comprise about one third of demisexuals, enjoy it for a variety of reasons: it feels good, they like feeling intimacy with their partner, they have kinks they want to indulge, and many more. It is totally okay to identify as demisexual if you enjoy having sex.

I am repulsed by sex.

About one third of demisexuals find sex repulsive, in varying degrees. They are disgusted by it, want nothing to do with it, or don’t like to see depictions of it. Some even find nudity and genitalia repulsive. Even if they feel sexual attraction, some demisexuals never want to act on that attraction. This is a valid reaction, and you can definitely identify as demisexual if you are sex repulsed.

I watch porn.

Porn is often just fodder for the imagination. Some people are visual and require stimulation when they masturbate. It doesn’t mean they’re sexually attracted to the porn actors, it just means they’re aroused by depictions of sex. Many demisexuals who watch porn like to imagine themselves in the situations depicted. There are demisexuals who enjoy porn in the community.

I have sexual fantasies.

Fantasies are a way for our brains to try out scenarios we might never want to act on. Fantasizing about something doesn’t mean you’d want it in real life. Think of it this way: if a straight girl fantasized about having sex with a girl, would that make her bisexual? No! It would just mean she thought about having sex with a girl and maybe it seemed appealing in her head. Demisexuals, like other people, fantasize about all sorts of things, and none of these fantasies invalidates their identities.

I like reading erotic fiction.

Just like with porn, some people need stimulation when they masturbate, or just like reading steamy fanfiction. Again, it doesn’t mean they’re attracted to the people involved: it just means they are aroused by depictions of sex. Or maybe they just find the idea of their favorite characters having sex amusing.

I find celebrities or fictional characters attractive.

There are different types of attraction, and many demisexuals find celebrities aesthetically attractive. Maybe you see a beautiful painting and just want to keep looking at it that doesn’t mean you want to have sex with it! It’s possible to feel the same way about people.

Alternately, if you’re a hardcore fan and have immersed yourself in the life of your particular celebrity or character, you might feel that you’ve developed a kind of emotional intimacy with them. Perhaps you’ve learned about the meaning behind their song lyrics from interviews, or learned about their innermost thoughts from one of their novels. That’s a kind of emotional connection which can lead to sexual attraction.

I have kinks or fetishes.

There are kinky demisexuals out there. It’s possible to enjoy tying someone up or wearing leather without a sexual component. Professional dominatrixes don’t have sex with their clients, after all it’s all about the eroticism one can create without involving sexual attraction or sex. It’s also possible to enjoy BDSM as a way to become more emotionally intimate with someone. Of course, some demisexuals do enjoy the sexual aspect of kink, and participate in it for that reason, regardless of whether they’re sexually attracted to their partner or not.

I’m celibate due to my religious beliefs.

Your religion and your demisexuality are two different things. You are demisexual by nature and celibate by choice. It’s just that these two things coincide. It doesn’t mean you’re not actually demisexual. It just means that you don’t necessarily have to actively fight sexual urges like other, non-demisexual members of your religion.

I am disabled or chronically ill.

Maybe you’re worried that your disability or illness is what’s causing your demisexuality. Maybe you’re worried that if you weren’t disabled or ill, you wouldn’t actually be demisexual. It can be hard to untangle these things, but don’t worry it’s not necessary. In the asexual community, disabled or chronically ill demisexuals are totally welcome and their identities accepted as valid. It is totally okay to identify as demisexual if this applies to you. It doesn’t make you less of a demisexual or a fake demisexual or anything like that. All demisexual identities are real.

I have experienced sexual assault or abuse.

Some demisexual victims of sexual assault or abuse find themselves struggling with trusting partners or feeling negatively about sex, even if they didn’t before. Or maybe they were demisexual before, and are now doubting whether they really were. Whatever the case, demisexual survivors are welcome in the community, regardless of their experiences. Being a demisexual survivor is a valid identity, and you will find support from all corners of the community.

I have depression, anxiety, or another mental illness, or am on the autism spectrum.

Same as above regardless of why you identify as demisexual, your identity is valid. Neurodivergent demisexuals are fully welcome in the community, and may use the label as long as they find it useful for understanding themselves and feeling secure in their identities.

What Demisexuality is Not

Many people mistake demisexuality for other sexual behaviors, like abstaining from sex until marriage or simply being “sensible” about sex. However, demisexuality is not a choice: it is a sexual orientation. And like other sexual orientations, it is a distinct pattern of attraction, not a pattern of behavior. Here are some common misconceptions regarding demisexuality and what you can say to people who bring up these arguments.

Only having sex with people you love.

Demisexuals can choose to have sex with whomever they please, whether they love them or not. That doesn’t make them any more or less demisexual. Many non-demisexuals only choose to have sex with people they love, and that doesn’t make them demisexual. Demisexuality is when sexual attraction that is, sexual feelings directed at a person only occurs after an emotional bond is formed with said person. Whether the demisexual chooses to have sex with them or not, and whatever reason they may have for making that choice, has absolutely nothing to do with the definition of demisexuality.

Abstaining from sex until marriage.

Just like the above misconception, many people think demisexuals are waiting until marriage. However, sexual abstinence is usually a religiously motivated choice, and has nothing to do with whether the abstinent person feels sexual attraction or not. Many people feel sexual attraction, but choose to wait until marriage because of their values. This does not mean they are demisexual. On the other hand, there are many demisexuals who choose to engage in premarital sex.

A moral, sensible, or noble decision.

Patterns of sexual attraction are not decisions, because you cannot choose who you are sexually attracted to. Demisexuals do not feel sexual attraction until they form a close emotional bond with someone. This has nothing to do with their morals; it’s just how they are wired to operate and there is nothing they can do about it. Sexual orientations are not sensible or noble; they just are. People who choose to abstain from sex due to their morals are actively making the decision to not act on their sexual feelings. Demisexuals can still choose to engage in premarital or casual sexual activity, and many do.

How most people, or women, operate normally.

Most people feel sexual attraction far more often than demisexuals do and without the close emotional bond. They may be sexually attracted to strangers, celebrities, or people they don’t know well. However, they may choose not to act on that sexual attraction. Demisexuals, on the other hand, don’t have sexual feelings in the first place. They only have sexual feelings for people with whom they have formed a close emotional bond, which is usually not a lot of people. But anyone, regardless of sexual orientation, can choose to have sex with someone regardless of whether or not they are attracted to them.

Myths About Demisexuals

Because it’s a little-known sexual orientation, there are a lot of myths surrounding demisexuality. Here are some of the most common ones I’ve found.

Demisexuals are slut-shaming and judging other people for having casual sex.

Demisexuality is a sexual orientation, not an opinion or moral judgement. The only thing demisexuals have in common is feeling sexual attraction only after an emotional bond is formed. This is not a choice, unlike an opinion, which you can choose to hold. Demisexuals as individuals have various opinions on casual sex, and a few may even participate in it themselves.

Demisexuality is fake.

“Demisexual” is just a word for a certain pattern of attraction which already occurs. There is nothing fake about it. The experiences of demisexuals are real, and they just happen to have a word which functions as a shorthand for describing those experiences (which is what words do, after all). Demisexuals find their pattern of attraction significantly different enough from that of most people that they use a word to describe it.

Demisexuals aren’t oppressed, and just want a label so they can make that claim.

I have honestly never seen a demisexual claim that they are oppressed. Most demisexuals are just pleased that they have found a word and community which describes them and helps them feel less alone or broken. I’ve mostly seen demisexuals saying that they feel misunderstood or broken, not oppressed. In any case, claiming a label isn’t the same thing as claiming oppression: heterosexual is a label, but heterosexuals aren’t oppressed.

Demisexuals are just straight people trying to be queer.

You’re forgetting about the demisexuals who experience same-gender attraction, the demisexuals who don’t experience any attraction, the transgender demisexuals, the nonbinary demisexuals, and many others. There is an intersection between LGBT+ identities and demisexuality. Also, because demisexuals have a lot in common with asexuals, even the ones who are heteroromantic identify strongly with asexuals rather than heterosexuals.

Wait… Is demisexuality queer?

You’re going to get a different answer from everyone. Some people think queer can only be used by groups against whom it was originally used as a slur, while others use it as an umbrella term for all minority sexual orientations and gender identities. Some demisexuals identify as queer and some don’t. There is no consensus as to whether demisexuality is considered queer or not.

Does Demisexuality have a pride flag?

Yes we do. 👇🏻

Here’s what the colours mean on the flag.

•Black stands for asexuality.

•Grey represents Gray-Ace and demisexuality.

•White represents sexuality.

•Purple represents community

[sparrowwritings]

Writing Challenge Day Five: Horizon

Day Four -- Masterpost -- Day Six

In the darkness of the glade, the light coming from one of the two moons was almost blinding. The second, the mage knew, was going to be on the horizon in about an hour. The one above her was full. While so far up in the sky, she could see some pockmarks on its surface next to the large hole bored within the rock. Some of them felt more familiar than they had any right to be. 

With a deep breath, Aven Gressel shifted into a more steady stance. There was no way to know if what she was attempting was going to work. It wouldn’t be the worst waste of several months of research she’d ever done, but there weren’t any other options if this one failed. She tried not to think about how there were only fictional instances of what she was attempting actually succeeding.

Holding her hands out to her sides, the mage took a deep breath and called upon her inner magic to affect the air around her. The wind reacted instantly, whirling in front of her as she raised her hands to her mouth, forming a cone. Without skipping a beat Aven shouted into the wind in front of her. “SHARDO, SON OF GARN AND HESARÉ, BROTHER OF LITA AND KITCHREN, GOD OF SHADOWS! I WISH TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN!” The sound was pulled from her lungs and into the miniature storm, distorting for just a moment before she pushed her hands upwards and sent the wind into the air. Her message rang out from above, crystal clear. 

She waited. 

And waited. 

What felt like an hour passed (though in reality it was only a handful of minutes) with absolutely nothing happening. 

Aven couldn’t help the sharp stab of disappointment going through her, though any academic worth their salt would have chided her for feeling that way about an unfavorable result. Experimentation took time and effort and trying things repeatedly. Just because she’d already spent months trying and failing to contact the God of Shadows didn’t mean that there was no way to do it. “Repeated failure isn’t always the fault of the method,” The deep, comforting rumble of her former mentor’s voice said from the back of her mind. “Sometimes you just need to look at the problem from a different angle and try again.”

She still felt upset, but stabbing pressure in her chest eased at his imagined words. “But what angle am I missing?” The mage stared up at the moon as if it would respond to her in its master’s stead. “I’ve tried calling for him with every phase of each moon. I’ve called when it was sunset, even, for a solid week.” Aven produced a notebook from one of her pockets and went over her notes in the bright moonlight. “If it’s a matter of where, I don’t think trying so close to a population would work. He’s not known to be sociable.” 

“It’s less a matter of sociability than it is that most everyone’s asleep at night. What else have you tried?” 

“This and that. Different messages, infusing my Wind magic with Earth to try to get his attention better. Nothing too incredibly different from what I was doing in the first place.” Aven flipped through the pages of her notebook some more. 

“Well that’s some dedication you have there. What do you need to talk to the God of Shadows for?”

“I just have some questions about--” She paused. Slowly, the mage turned towards the voice that had been answering her. Instinct had her shutting her notebook to hold in one hand.

There, leaning back against a tree as if he had been there the entire time, was Shardo himself. He looked no different than the first time she’d met him. The expression on his face was far cheekier than it was before, but this was still the god. “I’m surprised you’re not more dedicated to Rotin. You lose track of everything around you when you’re doing research, just like him.”

Her cheeks colored instantly. “That’s--what--you--” Aven sharply inhaled. Normally she would close her eyes, but there was that underlying fear that Shardo would just disappear the second she took her eyes off of him. She held her breath for a few seconds before exhaling. “Right. Okay.” She put her free hand on her hip and pointed at him with the notebook. “First of all, just because you can blend into the shadows doesn’t mean you can just show up without announcing yourself.”

“For all you know I’ve been here the whole time and you hadn’t noticed.” Shardo pointed out.

“Second of all,” Aven kept talking, utterly ignoring his commentary. “It’s also rude to question how dedicated someone is to worshipping specific gods. I’ve got my reasons, and you don’t need to know them.” 

He put a hand to his chin. “That’s a fair point. Sorry about that.” His statement rang true, which made her feel a little less annoyed. Only a little, though.

“And third of all--” She marched over and poked at his chest. In the back of her head she was only somewhat certain that he was going to be solid and was somewhat surprised that he was. Shardo also didn’t seem to have anticipated that move, at least going by his startled look. “I have a whole lot of questions. And until you either give me a reliable way to contact you or you answer all of them, I’m not going to quit bugging you.”

His white eyes flicked from her finger up to her face a couple of times. Now that she had the light of the moon behind her, she could read his expressions better. For as much as Shardo was considered mysterious and foreboding, Aven could recognize how tense he suddenly was. A far cry less relaxed than he had been only a moment ago. His voice lowered dangerously as his expression turned threatening. “If this has anything to do with that cult from a while back, I’m telling you now that it’s best to burn those books or scrolls before you do something you regret.”

She paused in her verbal attack, confused. “Cult? What cult? I just wanted to ask you questions because you’re the only god I’ve ever directly interacted with.” Aven’s gray eyes then widened and she took a couple of steps back. “Wait did you think I was actually going to force you into answering questions? No! Absolutely not! Wouldn’t dream of it!” 

Shardo tilted his head as she kept rambling, his sudden anger buried beneath his own confusion. “Even beyond what amount of magic or depraved activities it would take to even do that, that’s just--” She had already tucked her notebook into the pocket it had come from, so one of her empty hands clutched at her chest while her other tucked itself behind her back. Aven frowned as the hand at her front grasped at empty air, then she looked down and seemed to remember something before running that hand through her short brown hair. “That’s just wrong. Regardless of reason. I shouldn’t have tried to jest about something you’re clearly sensitive about.” 

She turned and bowed deeply before the God of Shadows. “I apologize if your second impression of me has tarnished my image in your mind. I’ll stop trying to call for you if I need to.” That stabbing pain of disappointment and of answers lost happened again, but it was far better to sacrifice her curiosity than it was to incur the wrath of a god. Even accidentally.

Silence surrounded Aven. So thorough and deep it was, that she thought that Shardo had left for good. Then it was broken by a deep sigh. “Alright, enough, stand up already. I forgive you, Aven Gressel.” 

Her body straightened up so quickly that she wobbled a little from a sudden headache. “I mean it, though. I don’t want to keep calling out for you if you don’t want me to.” Once the dizziness had passed, she noticed him giving a small smile.

“Your method’s certainly creative, I’ll give you that.” He chuckled and she was relieved to see that he seemed to have truly gotten past his anger. “I’ll give you this; if you need my attention on any given night, just find yourself a dark place and call my name. You don’t need to make it anything fancier than that. I can’t say I’ll show up every time--I’m far too busy with other things most nights--but I can guarantee that I’ll be listening. Or watching, if you prefer to call me when the moons are out.” He held a finger up towards the sky and her eyes followed it. 

Sure enough, the second moon had risen. The celestial body was just barely peeking over the trees within the glade. 

“And if you have any burning questions, I’ll answer what I can. Rotin’s really the one that does that lecture thing more often. God of Wisdom and all that.” Shardo gave a shrug. “Though I’ll grant that he’s much harder to contact directly than me.”

Her heart swelled with something like victory and excitement. Aven was so full of positive feelings she had to dance in her place a little to let it all out. She only stopped when he chuckled again, her face burning once more. 

“No no, keep going. Really.” Shardo’s smile, while warm, was somewhat awkward while he tried to gesture her to continue. “I didn’t mean to laugh it’s just--” Now it was his turn to look away while he scratched at his face. “Your little dance reminded me of something Kit used to do when they were young.” The grin widened sheepishly. “I guess I should ask your forgiveness this time.”

Aven was about to say something, when she remembered what he’d said to her earlier. “It’s less a matter of sociability than it is that most everyone’s asleep at night.” How often did Shardo even have conversations with people regularly? That wasn't whatever family he had that were awake while he was? How long had it been since he had to be social? Were his mercurial emotions something he had to deal with regularly, or was it just that he wasn’t used to being emotional around people?

In the middle of those questions was the nugget of an idea. “Sometimes you just need to look at the problem from a different angle and try again.” Echoed in her mind as the idea rolled around in it. As usual, her mouth started working long before her head did. “Instead of that, how about we start over?”

He blinked. “Huh?”

She made some vague gestures that she hoped would help her express her idea. “Let’s pretend that we met under less fantastical circumstances--” He snorted loud enough that she offered him narrowed eyes before she continued. “--and start from square one with our interactions. This way we’ll both be at least a little less awkward with each other since you helpfully agreed to answer some questions of mine.” She walked forward again and held out her hand. “Hi, I’m Aven Gressel. Wind aspected mage and academic of some renown.”

He eyed the hand she held in front of her for a moment before offering his own. Once again she was taken aback by how warm it was for how dark his appearance and his known abilities. “Shardo. Son of Garn and Hesaré, God of Shadows, and so on.” 

They shook hands firmly. There was no magical sign that there was any binding pact, but Aven had the sense that this was the start of something important between the two of them.

“So for my first question I must ask: Is Kitchren going by they right now?”

“Sort of. It’s a long story.”

“Unless you need to go, I literally have all night.”

“Alright, then, if you insist.”

[skys813]

Discovery

Chapter 5 (Arc Finale)

Me: Before we start, is there anything you'd like to say, Anxiety?

Anxiety: *gives me a hard look and then looks away* No.

Me: I see. Let's begin, then. Over the past couple of weeks we've been struggling to deal with a new possibility. I'm aware that in every happy reality Research conjured for us we were in a romantic relationship with implied sexual undertones. The new possibility suggests that we don't find a romantic or sexual partner in the future. Up until now it's only been a vague suggestion, however, after further examination, I thought it would be best to bring it to the council's attention as a legitimate possible plan for the future.

Anxiety: I don't see why this is relevant given that Sexuality is obviously a lesbian. Haven't we been over this already?

Me: Actually, we haven't. That was a suggestion you made, not a fact of life. Which brings us to our first issue; determining Sexuality's true orientation. I'd like to bring some memories to the front if you don't mind. Let's start with a few questions I asked after I first learned what sex was. "Do I have to? Can I be married without doing it? Can I have kids without doing it?" Our first reaction was aversion. Of course, that's normal at the beginning, but those feelings never went away. Instead, it changed to reluctant acceptance that this is what would happen to us. The truth is that we never felt sexual attraction towards anyone, regardless of their gender. We knew instinctively we wouldn't like sex in any form, but we pushed the feeling down and convinced ourselves that it'd be fine and we'd just have to do this for love.

Love: Is that not true? The only lifelong bond that allows us to be as invested and dedicated as we wish to be is a romantic one. Friendship can be strong, but it's not the same, Sky. We would not be prioritized the same way, you can't expect that of someone. If they have a romantic relationship with someone else, they have to prioritize that person above you, regardless of how close you get. Only a romantic bond guarantees you that level of trust and faith in each other. The exclusivity.

Me: I understand and accept that we wouldn't always be prioritized above the person's romantic relationship, but the rest is simply not true. It's possible. Research, if you'd be a dear, and pull up the definitions of a Queerplatonic Relationship and a Zucchini.

Research: A Queerplatonic relationship is defined as "a committed relationship that is neither romantic nor sexual in nature but is based on an emotional bond beyond friendship, often between aromantic and/or asexual people" (AVEN, General FAQ, Definitions). "A zucchini is a partner in a queerplatonic relationship. The commitment level between partners is often considered to be similar to that of a romantic relationship, but with platonic love. Zucchinis may be of any romantic or sexual orientation" (AVENwiki).

Me: Thank you, darling. As you can see, it's entirely possible. In fact, it's so possible and has been felt and established by enough people that there are terms to describe the relationship we want. That's what we were looking for all these years, not some romantic relationship, much less a sexual one.

Anxiety: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you've only proven sexuality is ace. Romance has been on board waiting for Prince to show up since day one. And we already agreed that Sexuality's orientation would be irrelevant to us in such a scenario as we would want him to be fully satisfied in the relationship.

Me: Romance hasn't actually been very vocal about her desires, she's been going along with whatever you and Research determined would be the best scenario. Again, let's pull up some memory files. First, there was her "crush," which she picked out for us much like one would pick out fruit at a stand, and is also a shared experience among other aromantics. We were never jealous of his relationship with our best friend or hurt by it, but instead helped them with arguments and were happy for them when they were happy. She shies away from any possible romantic partners under the guise of obeying our parents and religion when we all know full well we're stubborn and reckless enough that if we had ever desired such a relationship we would've acted on it by now. But we haven't.

Anxiety: Because no one has been worth the risk! We just haven't had the chance to meet the right person and it was never the right time before. We were too young.

Me: No one? When was the last time you saw Romance actually consider anyone as a potential partner?

Anxiety: That's because we're waiting for Prince, no one else is worth considering.

Me: That makes no sense and you know it. We can't find him if we never look. And Romance isn't interested enough to look in the first place. The fact of the matter is that she hasn't been active since we finally settled comfortably in our relationship. We might not use fancy terminology, but that's the nature of the bond we established with our best friend. The meaning we agreed upon for the relationship is the same as the one listed for queerplatonic relationships.

Anxiety: It's just too risky, it's irresponsible to put all your eggs in one basket like that. Friendships are fragile and fleeting-

Me: So is every other relationship. Friendships are not less than other bonds, they're equal and valid and they are what you make them. I believe in this one.

Anxiety: Fine. Don't listen to reason, whatever. But you might want to consider Love's needs and that certain aspects of our dreams would be off the table right off the bat if we went along with this madness, such as children and the home life we were so desperate to create one day. That's a dream you can't deny. You can't adopt children in a platonic relationship, so unless you plan on being a hypocrite and going out to have sex, praying not to catch an STD, and hoping to get pregnant that way, children would be completely off the table for us.

Me: First of all, it wouldn't be hypocritical, asexual people can have sex. But I do agree that that option is extremely unappealing all around. However, it wouldn't be as big a deal as you're making it out to be. Our motherly instincts can still be fulfilled if we add the found family element; we'd build a group of friends and mother them just like we used to. Love, how do you feel about that?

Love: I want children. We've always wanted children, I can't let go of that dream overnight. Mothering some friends isn't the same, I don't know if it'll be enough. I can agree to build new visions and scrap the old ones and incorporate Sexuality and Romance's identities, but you can't ever expect me to stop wanting children. I'm sorry.

Me: Don't be, it's who you are. Thank you for being so understanding. Research, what do you think?

Research: To be absolutely frank with you, I'm glad this is who we are. No husband to tie us down, fewer responsibilities, financial independence. It spells out a lot of opportunities to explore the world that we might not have had otherwise. And, no offense, Love, but children are expensive as hell. Our horizons just quadrupled without that financial and emotional burden. I vote yes.

*an awkward pause where Anxiety fumes on the side and refuses to say anything*

Me: .......Anxiety?

Anxiety: I'm the one who played the dreams. Are you happy now? You were right all along, and I was wrong. We're aro ace.

Me: I know.

Anxiety: *head snaps up* What?! You knew? How? And how long have you known? Why didn't you say anything?

Me: I think the meeting's done now, let's continue this privately. Love, Research, please act according to the council's decision and inform everyone of the verdict. Thank you. Anxiety, walk with me, darling.

Then.....

Sexuality blinks sleepy eyes open and looks around. Someone is by her bedside that she's only ever seen from afar. She tentatively lifts her hand and runs her fingers through Libido's hair. Her birthmate. What was she doing here? Libido stirs and murmurs something incoherent in her sleep before slowly opening her eyes to look back at Sexuality. Libido smiles softly.

Libido: You're finally awake. *jerks up frantically* Oh shit, you're awake! Oh my God, how're you feeling? Are you okay? Does anything hurt? Who do you want me to get for you? Do you want some water? Of course you want some water, what am I thinking-

Sexuality grabs Libido's sleeve as she makes to get up. Libido looks back, concerned and on the verge of panic. Sexuality shakes her head and tugs Libido back to her side.

Libido: Are you sure you don't want me to get you some food and water? You've been out of it for a while.

Sexuality shakes her head again and tugs Libido back down into her chair.

Libido: Okay, then. Um. Let's see, how do you usually communicate with Romance?

Sexuality: *gestures in sign language*

Libido: Oh, yeah, that makes sense. I don't know any signs though. Do you want me to get Research? They might be able to translate. Actually, they'll know what to do about all of this and what you need and-

Sexuality grabs and squeezes Libido's hand and she falls silent. Sexuality smiles briefly and shuts her eyes.

Libido: Oh. You're tired, yeah, that makes sense, too. Sorry about all that. Go back to sleep, sweetie. I'll notify the others when you're ready.

It was a while later before Libido realized that Sexuality had been fully aware and responsive during those few minutes without throwing up. On top of that, she'd made contact with Libido without any noticeable harm befalling her. Sexuality was, at long last, fully recovered.

Meanwhile.....

I walk with Anxiety down to his room. It resembles a library, but instead of books, there are notebooks, each and every one of them filled to the brim with scribbles and half-finished thoughts.

Anxiety: Welcome to my lair, oh annoying one. Have a seat.

Me: I think we need to discuss why you're so against us being aro ace.

Anxiety: I already made it very clear-

Me: The real reason, Anxiety.

Anxiety glowers at me for a few minutes. I don't look away and he finally backs down grudgingly.

Anxiety: *sigh* Do you remember what we were like when we were a kid? What we thought of ourself?

Me: How can I forget? I was the brattiest, most arrogant child I've ever had the displeasure of having to think about.

Anxiety: *shakes his head* I mean before Prince, specifically. We were in a low place and we had accepted that we would die old, bitter, and alone. I just don't want us to go back to that again. It was devastating enough the first time around for all of us. At least like this, it would've only hurt Sexuality and Romance.

Me: Anxiety, listen to me. We are not who we were five years ago. That vision of the future was built on self-hatred and hopelessness, that's why it looked like a doomsday vision. This time we're rebuilding to take care of ourself and every aspect of who we are. We don't have to sacrifice Sexuality and Romance to be happy. We can just build a future that makes all of us happy by accommodating them too. We would've never been happy if we'd tried to suppress them.

Anxiety: *shakes his head stubbornly* We can revert right back to where we were, not enough has changed, not nearly enough. I've just collected more reasons to hate ourself since then, there's no guarantee it won't happen.

Me: *eyes sharp, trying to casually scan the notebooks* There is one thing we could always do..... If you'd allow us, I mean.

Anxiety: *torn between hope and trepidation* Like what exactly?

Me: Burn them.

Anxiety: *stands up and positions himself between me and the nearest shelf* Get out. Get out right now!

Me: *stays seated calmly with my eyes fixed on his* Only the notebooks where you write all our faults. The memories would all stay intact. All your other notebooks would stay exactly where they are. I'm only suggesting we let go of the guilt. Those notebooks are as old as I am, cataloging every tiny mistake we've ever made, every embarrassing thing we've ever done, every regret. You're absolutely right, we can't move forward until we've let go of all of that. We have to move forward, Anxiety. The council has come to a decision. Something has to give or we really might revert back to what we were before.

Anxiety: Then we would've learned nothing! Do you want to repeat all the mistakes we've made?

Me: A gentle reminder that you're the reason we made some of the more serious mistakes.

Anxiety: Don't you think I know that? That's why I refuse to let go of them. If we never forget, if we never stop regretting them and feeling guilty for them, then we'll make up for it and we'll never do those things again.

Me: Darling, that's ridiculous. You do realize that you've written down things as small as chopping the wrong vegetable by accident at our job, right? And the serious errors in judgment are almost all from our childhood, from years ago. We've grown, we've changed, and we're past that now. We can't stay this way forever, hating ourselves for every tiny inconvenience we've ever caused anyone. Please, Anxiety, we have to burn those notebooks.

Anxiety: No. You don't understand. We can't! No! *clutches at his head and his breathing becomes shallow and rapid* I can't. You can't. I can't.

Me: Anxiety? *gets up slowly* Are you okay?

Anxiety: No! We can't! We'll never be good enough. We'll never be happy. You can't erase the past. We're horrible, can't you see that? So horrible. Horrible. Horrible!

I notice a smoky shape formed behind Anxiety, whispering in his ear and grinning at me. The time for conversation is over. I carefully sidestep Anxiety who is too wrapped up in his sobbing to notice my movement and try to punch at the shadow. My hand goes right through it. Right, then. Those notebooks need to burn. Now. I step behind them slowly. The creature turns to watch me but continues whispering to Anxiety. I reach for a random notebook to test out the waters. No reaction besides a widening smirk. Good. I quickly scan through the notebooks until I find the section I need before looking up again. The shadow is still, watching me with a contemplative frown while Anxiety drops to hug his knees and hide his face as he cries. I collect the notebooks loosely in my arms, carefully noting how tense the shadow is getting. It stands between me and the door. I had a feeling it would find a way to stop me if it wanted to, smoke or not. I edge my way back to the table and set the notebooks down. The creature relaxes. I sit down and pretended to start reading one. After a few moments, it loses interest in me and goes back to tormenting Anxiety. It starts to whisper faster, progressively more aggressive. When it looks to be distracted enough, I grab the notebooks and run. I hear a shriek of anger not long after but it doesn't follow me. I run and run until I reach the common room and dump the notebooks on the floor.

Me: Research, get over here! I need lighter fuel! Love, if you could grab a lighter for me, that'd be great! Now!

They get up from the couch without a word and go about getting the requested items as I start tearing the notebooks apart. By the time they get back, I've torn haphazardly through the notebooks and stacked them in a hollow pyramid shape. Research douses them all and I give Love a handful of paper to light before I carefully place them under the rest and watch the fire spread. Anxiety rushes into the room with a much-faded version of the shadow I'd seen behind him, but by then even the topmost of the pyramid had caught fire. The creature shrieks and Anxiety faints into Research's arms.

Research: *sighs* I should've known something like this would happen. I'll take him to the infirmary.

Love: What just happened? Who's Research taking to the infirmary and what did we just set on fire?

Me: Don't worry, Love, everything's going to be okay now. C'mon, let's sit down and I'll tell you everything.

Then.....

Romance jerks awake gasping and clutching at her neck and chest and starts coughing. Sensuality rushes into her room and gives her a crushing hug.

Sensuality: You're alive! You're awake! Oh thank God, I won't be left with just Aesthetic for company!

Aesthetic: Hey! I can hear you, you know. And good grief, get off her before you really kill her. Welcome back, Romance. How're you feeling?

Romance: *gestures for water*

Sensuality: I got you, just a second. *runs out of the room*

Aesthetic: *hands Romance her board and marker* Figured you'd have a lot to say after being out of it for so long. Wanna elaborate on the whole "help Anxiety" message you left? Cause it really didn't help, for the record. What'd you want us to do, tie you and Sexuality up and dump you in the basement for him?

Romance rolls her eyes as Sensuality comes back in and accepts a glass of water with a quick nod of thanks. She downs the whole glass in three giant gulps and sets it down before relaxing back against her pillows a bit. She starts writing.

You're both idiots, for the record. I bet you didn't even try to figure out what I meant, just sat around worrying as usual. It's alright, someone must've figured it out since I'm awake now. We'll all hear the story in detail, I'm sure. Right now, though, I'd much rather discuss Sexuality. Is she okay?

Sensuality: Well......I mean, she's definitely safe now, we made sure of it, right Aesthetic?

Aesthetic: *nods her head with a smile* Don't worry, Romance, we took care of our little sister. She's safe.

Romance: *relaxes a bit more*

Good. At least you did something right. Who's guarding her? Libido, right?

Sensuality: *shocked* Yeah, actually, how'd you know? I thought you'd be upset.

Romance: *smiles* *writes*

They were never meant to be apart. They're different, but they're still birthmates. You know how strong that bond is. They'll figure it out. They just need time. We all do.

[unabasheddonutcollectionlove]

Happy Friday, everyone! I am very excited about today’s post because my friend, Jordan Harper, is joining me to answer a few questions from a skincare expert’s opinion. I love learning anything and everything about skincare but I also am fully aware I’m not an expert or a licensed professional. I was recently in Charleston staying at the beautiful The Restoration & Jordan came to hang out for some girl time. And when I say girl time I mean me bombarding her with 100,000 questions and making her look at and dissect every stray line and bump on my face. I thought it would be fun to get her to answer a few questions that you all messaged in and the response was so overwhelming I decided to make it into a post!

You can read more about Jordan on her site but let me tell you that she is the BEST in the game. If you have skincare concerns it is worth taking a trip to Charleston and booking a consultation with her asap! She also shares a wealth of information on her instagram account. A lot of the items she is recommending are expensive because like it or not the expensive products are legit and what actually work. She does recommend that if you want to save money do it on a cleanser like Cetaphil or an in-expensive eye moisturizer because you should be investing in your serums & retinoids. One of the sites that I love buying these items from is Dermstore and if you want to order anything do it before April 2nd because you can save 20% w/ code GLOW18 on a lot of their lines. Let’s talk about everything you should buy, shall we!

Q&A With Jordan Harper, FNP-C

CC: What are the bare minimum products everyone should be using? JH: Everyone should be using these three products daily: a vitamin c serum, a sunscreen, & a retinoid.

CC: I use these three products that Jordan recommended every day. First, I wash with my Tula cleanser (save 20% w/ code TSSG), then I apply this vitamin c serum. If I’m very dry I follow it up with this face oil. After that I use this sunscreen which also acts as a primer for my daily cc cream. If I’m wearing my foundation instead of a cc cream I will apply this primer after the sunscreen. I night I again wash my face with my Tula cleanser then I apply a prescription retin-a from Obagi. I will also use eye creams and serums depending on the condition of my skin. I tried a sample of this serum from Jordan and I really want to invest in the entire bottle which I would use after my retin-a. – Cristin

  CC: Why is vitamin C good? Is there a cheaper vitamin c you recommend? JH: Vitamin C is a skincare staple because it provides UV protection by making sunscreen more effective, fights premature aging by fighting free radical damage, stimulates collagen production, prevents and fades skin discoloration/pigmentation, and improves the texture of the skin. The reason why Vitamin C is so pricey is because the PH has to be 3.5 or lower or the product won’t penetrate the skin. So thats why the majority of Vitamin C aren’t worth spending money on because they can’t guarantee the PH while remain stable over time once it has be opened and exposed to oxgyen.

Gold standard Vitamin C: Skinceuticals CE Ferulic Prone to break outs: Phloretin CF by Skinceuticals

The BEST cheaper alternative that actually works: Cosmetic Skin Solutions C+E (with Ferulic Acid)

  CC: Is eye cream necessary? What is a good expensive one and a good cheap one? JH: Eye cream is not necessary, its better to have the core 3 (a vitamin c serum, a sunscreen, & a retinoid) than an eye cream. Add an eye cream once you already have those three as staples in your routine.

Good expensive: NeoCutis Lumiere Good cheap: Vaseline/aquaphor or Avene Retrinal EYES

CC: What are your favorite at-home devices? JH: My absolute favorite- Tinkle razors. I’m a dermaplaning / face shaving junkie. I’ve been using the GloPRO for about a month, I haven’t noticed any difference in my skin but I do like using it. I also like the ZOE for cleansing.

CC: What is dermaplaning and why do you do it? JH: Dermaplaning is basically just a fancy name for shaving your face. Tinkle razors are a super affordable DIY way to dermaplane. In office treatments are around $100/treatment. Benefits include: Exfoliation for the face. Increase skincare product absorption & allows makeup to go on smoother. Removal of peach fuzz. Minimizing appearance of fine lines/wrinkles. Makes your skin look glowy and amazing.

CC: What is the Zoe and what does it do? JH: ZOE is a silicone cleanser, facial massager, and used for deeper application of skincare products all in one device. This is an awesome replacement for a Clarisonic. No changing of brush heads either which is awesome and much easier to keep clean. When you use it with serums it prevents the product from being absorbed by your hands and because our hands harbor bacteria it keeps our skin cleaner as well. You can get 25% off and free shipping using code JORDANHARPER

CC: When we were at dinner the other night you were blowing my mind talking about exfoliating. Tell everyone why exfoliating is CRUCIAL. JH: You should be exfoliating because old skin cells can get stuck on top of the skin surface, which causes the skin to look dull and can cause breakouts. A good rule of thumb is if you’re in your 20’s: exfoliate twice a week; 30’s: 3 times/week.

There are three types of exfoliators that are available in stores:

Chemicals – The first type is referred to as “chemical” exfoliators. These usually have Glycolic Acid, AHAs and BHA. They seep deep into the skin and exfoliate by destroying old skin cells. A good one is M61skincare PowerGlow Peel

Scrub – Unlike chemical exfoliators, scrubs contain grainy substances that remove dead cells from the surface of the skin. I recommend Zoskinhealth Exfoliating Polish

Enzymes – Exfoliators with enzymes usually contain papaya or pineapples and are usually used by people with sensitive skin or rosacea. They dissolve the dead cells without scrubbing. Naturopathica Sweet Cherry Brightening Enzyme Peel is awesome!

For normal skin type, the best treatment will be mild and alcohol free, usually a chemical exfoliator. If you have oily skin, a scrub will work best for you. Dry skin will need a chemical treatment that tightens the skin and reduces fine lines. Enzyme treatments are proven to be the best exfoliators for people with sensitive skin.

CC: What are good moisturizers that won’t break you out? JH: I’m not a huge fan of moisturizer. A lot of times we really don’t even need it and because of that using it can clog pores, especially if prone to breakouts. I use EltaMD UV Clear as my sunscreen and moisturizer for the majority of the year. I’ve recently started using Intensive Daily Repair by Suzan Obagi which is a moisturizer and exfoliator which is great for preventing breakouts and gentle enough to use as a daily exfoliator. In lieu of moisturizers for people prone to breakouts I recommended a hydrating serum. Skinceuticals HA intensifier or SkinMedica HA5 are amazing. They are pricey but both should last 5 months if used as directed.

CC: What can you do for rosacea? JH: Rosacea can be managed by avoiding triggers like: spicy foods, alcohol & sun. A daily sunscreen and vitamin c serum are crucial for people with rosacea because you need as much sun protection as possible. We do a series of in-office IPL treatments (3 treatments spaced 2-3 weeks apart) followed by 20 min under the red light and people generally have resolution of their rosacea for about a year. If you are looking for a good sunscreen that will defer heat from your face then try Obagi Sun Shield. Basically it blocks the heat so it doesn’t allow your skin to get too hot which triggers a rosacea flush.

CC: What can you do for acne scars? JH: Best thing for acne scars is Microneedling with PRP

CC: A lot of my readers messaged and wanted to know what they can & can’t do if they are pregnant or breastfeeding? JH: Retinoids and Injectables are not safe while pregnant/breast feeding.

CC: What is your am and pm skincare routine? JH: Your skincare routine should look something like this:

AM Routine Cleanse: I use Skinceuticals Foaming Cleanser or Obagi Foaming Cleanser

Tone: I use ZO toner, (Sometimes I just use toner in the AM and don’t wash my face)

Serum: Vitamin C should go on the skin 1st before any other serum. (Ideally waiting 5 minutes before apply your moisturizer to allow the serum to fully dry.) I’ve been using Skinceuticals Phloretin CF for a few years and last week started Obagi 20% Vit C–  so it’s too soon to do a comparison between the two. (*OPTIONAL: I use Skinceuticals AOX eye gel which is an eye serum that provides environmental protection.) Moisturize/SPF: I use EltaMD UV Clear as my moisturizer and SPF com

  Your PM Routine

Cleanse: I use Skinceuticals Foaming Cleanser or Obagi Foaming Cleanser Tone: You don’t have to use a toner but I have been using one for years and love it, especially if my skin feels dry after cleansing. Toners help to balance the PH in the skin and allow for better product absorption Retinoids: There is a lot to say about retinoids. If you’re in your twenties and struggle with break outs Differin is a great affordable option you can get at any drugstore. If you’re in your 30’s my favorite retinoid is Obagi 0.05% gel. Which can only be purchased through a medical provider, unfortunately. But its awesome.

Moisturize: I generally always moisturize with my retinoid because I get to dry. Currently using Obagi Hydrate. In the winter I used Skinceuticals Triple lipid Restore but now that we are getting to the warmer months I don’t need that heavy of a moisturizer.

  Thanks for reading everyone! And a huge thanks to my friend, Jordan Harper, for answering all of these questions. You can access all of my other skincare posts on this page and make sure to visit Jordan’s site & follow her on Jordan’s site for more valuable skincare information! I’m working on another skincare post for next week with every single product I like + all of the latest and greatest skincare gadgets and trends I’ve been reading about. If you have a specific question ask it below in the comments!

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Original source: https://thesouthernstyleguide.com/skincare-advice/