#it makes referring to kit really awkward for all involved

[sparrowwritings]

Writing Challenge Day Five: Horizon

Day Four -- Masterpost -- Day Six

In the darkness of the glade, the light coming from one of the two moons was almost blinding. The second, the mage knew, was going to be on the horizon in about an hour. The one above her was full. While so far up in the sky, she could see some pockmarks on its surface next to the large hole bored within the rock. Some of them felt more familiar than they had any right to be. 

With a deep breath, Aven Gressel shifted into a more steady stance. There was no way to know if what she was attempting was going to work. It wouldn’t be the worst waste of several months of research she’d ever done, but there weren’t any other options if this one failed. She tried not to think about how there were only fictional instances of what she was attempting actually succeeding.

Holding her hands out to her sides, the mage took a deep breath and called upon her inner magic to affect the air around her. The wind reacted instantly, whirling in front of her as she raised her hands to her mouth, forming a cone. Without skipping a beat Aven shouted into the wind in front of her. “SHARDO, SON OF GARN AND HESARÉ, BROTHER OF LITA AND KITCHREN, GOD OF SHADOWS! I WISH TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN!” The sound was pulled from her lungs and into the miniature storm, distorting for just a moment before she pushed her hands upwards and sent the wind into the air. Her message rang out from above, crystal clear. 

She waited. 

And waited. 

What felt like an hour passed (though in reality it was only a handful of minutes) with absolutely nothing happening. 

Aven couldn’t help the sharp stab of disappointment going through her, though any academic worth their salt would have chided her for feeling that way about an unfavorable result. Experimentation took time and effort and trying things repeatedly. Just because she’d already spent months trying and failing to contact the God of Shadows didn’t mean that there was no way to do it. “Repeated failure isn’t always the fault of the method,” The deep, comforting rumble of her former mentor’s voice said from the back of her mind. “Sometimes you just need to look at the problem from a different angle and try again.”

She still felt upset, but stabbing pressure in her chest eased at his imagined words. “But what angle am I missing?” The mage stared up at the moon as if it would respond to her in its master’s stead. “I’ve tried calling for him with every phase of each moon. I’ve called when it was sunset, even, for a solid week.” Aven produced a notebook from one of her pockets and went over her notes in the bright moonlight. “If it’s a matter of where, I don’t think trying so close to a population would work. He’s not known to be sociable.” 

“It’s less a matter of sociability than it is that most everyone’s asleep at night. What else have you tried?” 

“This and that. Different messages, infusing my Wind magic with Earth to try to get his attention better. Nothing too incredibly different from what I was doing in the first place.” Aven flipped through the pages of her notebook some more. 

“Well that’s some dedication you have there. What do you need to talk to the God of Shadows for?”

“I just have some questions about--” She paused. Slowly, the mage turned towards the voice that had been answering her. Instinct had her shutting her notebook to hold in one hand.

There, leaning back against a tree as if he had been there the entire time, was Shardo himself. He looked no different than the first time she’d met him. The expression on his face was far cheekier than it was before, but this was still the god. “I’m surprised you’re not more dedicated to Rotin. You lose track of everything around you when you’re doing research, just like him.”

Her cheeks colored instantly. “That’s--what--you--” Aven sharply inhaled. Normally she would close her eyes, but there was that underlying fear that Shardo would just disappear the second she took her eyes off of him. She held her breath for a few seconds before exhaling. “Right. Okay.” She put her free hand on her hip and pointed at him with the notebook. “First of all, just because you can blend into the shadows doesn’t mean you can just show up without announcing yourself.”

“For all you know I’ve been here the whole time and you hadn’t noticed.” Shardo pointed out.

“Second of all,” Aven kept talking, utterly ignoring his commentary. “It’s also rude to question how dedicated someone is to worshipping specific gods. I’ve got my reasons, and you don’t need to know them.” 

He put a hand to his chin. “That’s a fair point. Sorry about that.” His statement rang true, which made her feel a little less annoyed. Only a little, though.

“And third of all--” She marched over and poked at his chest. In the back of her head she was only somewhat certain that he was going to be solid and was somewhat surprised that he was. Shardo also didn’t seem to have anticipated that move, at least going by his startled look. “I have a whole lot of questions. And until you either give me a reliable way to contact you or you answer all of them, I’m not going to quit bugging you.”

His white eyes flicked from her finger up to her face a couple of times. Now that she had the light of the moon behind her, she could read his expressions better. For as much as Shardo was considered mysterious and foreboding, Aven could recognize how tense he suddenly was. A far cry less relaxed than he had been only a moment ago. His voice lowered dangerously as his expression turned threatening. “If this has anything to do with that cult from a while back, I’m telling you now that it’s best to burn those books or scrolls before you do something you regret.”

She paused in her verbal attack, confused. “Cult? What cult? I just wanted to ask you questions because you’re the only god I’ve ever directly interacted with.” Aven’s gray eyes then widened and she took a couple of steps back. “Wait did you think I was actually going to force you into answering questions? No! Absolutely not! Wouldn’t dream of it!” 

Shardo tilted his head as she kept rambling, his sudden anger buried beneath his own confusion. “Even beyond what amount of magic or depraved activities it would take to even do that, that’s just--” She had already tucked her notebook into the pocket it had come from, so one of her empty hands clutched at her chest while her other tucked itself behind her back. Aven frowned as the hand at her front grasped at empty air, then she looked down and seemed to remember something before running that hand through her short brown hair. “That’s just wrong. Regardless of reason. I shouldn’t have tried to jest about something you’re clearly sensitive about.” 

She turned and bowed deeply before the God of Shadows. “I apologize if your second impression of me has tarnished my image in your mind. I’ll stop trying to call for you if I need to.” That stabbing pain of disappointment and of answers lost happened again, but it was far better to sacrifice her curiosity than it was to incur the wrath of a god. Even accidentally.

Silence surrounded Aven. So thorough and deep it was, that she thought that Shardo had left for good. Then it was broken by a deep sigh. “Alright, enough, stand up already. I forgive you, Aven Gressel.” 

Her body straightened up so quickly that she wobbled a little from a sudden headache. “I mean it, though. I don’t want to keep calling out for you if you don’t want me to.” Once the dizziness had passed, she noticed him giving a small smile.

“Your method’s certainly creative, I’ll give you that.” He chuckled and she was relieved to see that he seemed to have truly gotten past his anger. “I’ll give you this; if you need my attention on any given night, just find yourself a dark place and call my name. You don’t need to make it anything fancier than that. I can’t say I’ll show up every time--I’m far too busy with other things most nights--but I can guarantee that I’ll be listening. Or watching, if you prefer to call me when the moons are out.” He held a finger up towards the sky and her eyes followed it. 

Sure enough, the second moon had risen. The celestial body was just barely peeking over the trees within the glade. 

“And if you have any burning questions, I’ll answer what I can. Rotin’s really the one that does that lecture thing more often. God of Wisdom and all that.” Shardo gave a shrug. “Though I’ll grant that he’s much harder to contact directly than me.”

Her heart swelled with something like victory and excitement. Aven was so full of positive feelings she had to dance in her place a little to let it all out. She only stopped when he chuckled again, her face burning once more. 

“No no, keep going. Really.” Shardo’s smile, while warm, was somewhat awkward while he tried to gesture her to continue. “I didn’t mean to laugh it’s just--” Now it was his turn to look away while he scratched at his face. “Your little dance reminded me of something Kit used to do when they were young.” The grin widened sheepishly. “I guess I should ask your forgiveness this time.”

Aven was about to say something, when she remembered what he’d said to her earlier. “It’s less a matter of sociability than it is that most everyone’s asleep at night.” How often did Shardo even have conversations with people regularly? That wasn't whatever family he had that were awake while he was? How long had it been since he had to be social? Were his mercurial emotions something he had to deal with regularly, or was it just that he wasn’t used to being emotional around people?

In the middle of those questions was the nugget of an idea. “Sometimes you just need to look at the problem from a different angle and try again.” Echoed in her mind as the idea rolled around in it. As usual, her mouth started working long before her head did. “Instead of that, how about we start over?”

He blinked. “Huh?”

She made some vague gestures that she hoped would help her express her idea. “Let’s pretend that we met under less fantastical circumstances--” He snorted loud enough that she offered him narrowed eyes before she continued. “--and start from square one with our interactions. This way we’ll both be at least a little less awkward with each other since you helpfully agreed to answer some questions of mine.” She walked forward again and held out her hand. “Hi, I’m Aven Gressel. Wind aspected mage and academic of some renown.”

He eyed the hand she held in front of her for a moment before offering his own. Once again she was taken aback by how warm it was for how dark his appearance and his known abilities. “Shardo. Son of Garn and Hesaré, God of Shadows, and so on.” 

They shook hands firmly. There was no magical sign that there was any binding pact, but Aven had the sense that this was the start of something important between the two of them.

“So for my first question I must ask: Is Kitchren going by they right now?”

“Sort of. It’s a long story.”

“Unless you need to go, I literally have all night.”

“Alright, then, if you insist.”

[jayoctodot]

The Silent Patient vs The Maidens

I will start by saying that I understand the appeal of these novels as page-turners. They are easy to read and if you want a twisty reveal at the end, you will probably be entertained and satisfied. That being said, I am SO CONFUSED by the near-universal adoration of The Silent Patient and the reasonably positive reception of The Maidens. The weaknesses of the two are strikingly similar, as well, which doesn’t give me much hope of seeing improvement from this guy, though I am intrigued to see whether he keeps repeating the same (apparently successful!!) patterns. These books were at least super fun to hate.

(For context, I read The Maidens for a bookclub I'm in, because several of the members had read and loved The Silent Patient, and one of them gave me a copy of the latter to read on my own time. I loathed The Maidens and then read The SP for comparative purposes. And because I'm a masochist, apparently.)

SPOILER WARNING! Do not read on unless you've finished both books (or unless you care not for spoilers). Sorry if it gets a bit shouty.

Here are the similar weaknesses I noticed in both:

PSEUDO-PSYCHOLOGY

-> Weirdly similar “group therapy” scenes early on where a cartoonishly unstable patient arrives late, disrupts the meeting by throwing something into the middle of the circle, and is asked to join the group after the therapist(s) speechify on the importance of boundaries (HA! None of these therapists would know an appropriate boundary if it kicked them in the ass) and debate whether to “allow” the patient to join. Both scenes are so transparent in their design to establish the credibility/legitimacy of the narrators as therapists, but instead both Theo and Mariana come off as super patronizing. The protagonists are less and less believable as therapists at the stories progress (though at least Theo’s incompetence is explained away by the “twist” at the end; Mariana, on the other hand, is confronted in the opening pages of the novel by a patient who has self-harmed PRETTY extensively, and rather than ensure he get proper medical attention, she essentially throws him a first aid kit and tosses him out the door so she can pour herself a glass of wine and call her niece... and it devolves from there).

-> Ongoing insistence throughout the narrative that one’s childhood trauma entirely explains the warped/dysfunctional way a character behaves or views the world, which is why the books go out of their way to give EVERY potentially violent character a traumatic childhood; when Theo insists that no one ever became an abuser who hadn’t been abused themselves, I wanted to throw the book across the room. (That is a MYTH, SIR. GET OUT OF HERE WITH YOUR ARMCHAIR PSYCHOLOGY.)

-> Female murderers whose pathology boils down to “history of depression” and “traumatized by a male loved one/family member.” Because, as we all know, depression + abuse = murderer!

-> The “therapy” depicted in both books is laughable and so so unrealistic, mostly because neither narrators function as therapists so much as incompetent detectives, obsessively pursuing a case they have no place pursuing (or skill to pursue - both just happen across every clue mostly by way of clunky conversation with all the people who can provide precisely the snippet of info to send them along to the next person, and the next… until all is revealed in a tired, cliched “twist”). Their constant Psych 101 asides were so tiresome and weirdly dated (also, the constant harping on countertransference got so ridiculous that at one point during "therapy" Theo literally attributes his headache and a particular emotion he feels to Alicia, as though the contents of her head are being broadcast directly into his mind... and I'm PRETTY SURE that's not how it works???)

CHARACTERS

-> Psychotherapist narrators with abusive fathers and pretensions of being Sherlock Holmes, which results in both characters crossing ALL KINDS of ethical lines as they invade the personal lives of everyone even tangentially connected to their cases (and, in Theo's case, violate all kinds of patient confidentiality. Yeah, yeah, by the end, that's the least of his offenses, but before you get there, it's baffling that NO ONE is calling him out on this).

-> All female characters are either elderly with hilariously bad advice, monstrous hulking brutes, or beautiful bitches (except for ~MARIANA~, who is Bella Swan-esque in her unawareness of her own attractiveness, despite multiple men trying to get with her almost immediately after meeting her. I'm so tired of beautiful female characters being oblivious to their own hotness. Are we meant to believe all mirrors and male attention have escaped their notice? If it’s to make them “relatable,” this tactic really fails with me).

-> All characters of color are shallow, cartoonish side characters, and most of them are depicted as unsympathetic minor antagonists (the Sikh Chief Inspector in The Maidens continuously drinks tea from an ever-present thermos, and his only other notable characteristic is his instant dislike of Mariana, whom he VERY RIGHTLY warns to stay out of the investigation that she is VERY MUCH compromising… the Caribbean manager of the Grove is universally disliked by her staff for enforcing stricter safety regulations at the bafflingly poorly run mental institution, because HOW DARE SHE. There's a very clear vibe that we're supposed to dislike these characters and share the protagonists' indignation, but honestly Sangha/Stephanie were completely in the right for trying to shut down their wildly inappropriate investigations).

-> "Working class" characters (or basically anyone excluded from the comfortably upper-crust, educated main cadre of characters) are few and far between in both stories, but when they show up, he depicts them as such caricatures. We got Elsie the pathologically lying housekeeper in the Maidens, who is enticed to share her bullshit with cake, and then a TOOTHLESS LEPRECHAUN DEALING DRUGS UNDER A BRIDGE in the SP. I kid you not, a man described as having the body of a child, the face of Father Time, and no front teeth, emerges from beneath a bridge and offers to sell Theo some "grass." I was dyinggg.

-> There are no characters to root for. Anywhere. Partly because they’re all so thinly drawn — and because we’re clearly supposed to view almost ALL of them as potential suspects, so they’re ALL weird, creepy, or incompetent in some way.

-> The flimsiest of flimsy motives, both for the narrators and the murderers. Theo fully would have gotten away with his involvement in the murder if he hadn't gone out of his way to work at the Grove and "treat" Alicia and his justification for doing so is pretty weak; his rapid descent into stalking and murder fantasy and his random ass decision to "expose" Alicia's husband as a cheater with a spur-of-the-moment home invasion and staged attempted homicide is ONLY justified if the reader hand waves it away as WELP, HE'S CRAZY, I GUESS (after all, he DID have an abusive father and a history of mental illness, and in Michaelides novels, that's ALL YOU NEED to become a violent psycho). I guess we're lucky Mariana didn't also start dropping bodies (because the logic of his fictional universe says she should definitely be a murderer by now... maybe that'll be his Maidens sequel?). But she especially had NO reason to randomly turn detective - and she kept trying to justify it by saying she needed to re-enter the world or that Sebastian would want her to (??), even though she had no background in criminal psychology... or even a particular fondness for mysteries (really, I would've accepted ANYTHING to explain her dogged obsession with the case. WHY were Sebastian and Zoe so certain she would insert herself into the investigation just because one of Zoe's friends was the first victim? WHY?). As for Zoe and Alicia, their motives are mere suggestions: they were both abused and manipulated, and voila! Slippery slope to murder.

WRITING STYLE

-> Incessant allusions to Greek tragedy and myth, apparently to provide a sophisticated gloss over the bare-bones writing style, which opts more for telling than showing and frequently indulges in hilariously bizarre analogies. Credit where credit is due — the references to Greek myth are less clunky in the SP, and I liked learning about the Alcestis play/myth, which I hadn’t heard of before - but OMG the entire characterization of Fosca, who we are meant to believe is a professor of Greek tragedy at one of the most respected universities on the planet, is just absurd. His "lecture" on the liminal in Greek tragedy is essentially the Wikipedia page on the Eleusinian Mysteries capped off with some Hallmark-card carpe diem crap. The lecture hall responds with raucous applause, clearly never having heard such vague genius bullshit before.

-> Super clunky and amateurish narrative device of interludes written by another character; Sebastian’s letter reads like a mashup of Dexter monologues and Clarice’s memory of the screaming sheep, but by FAR the worse offender is Alicia’s diary, where we’re supposed to believe she painstakingly recorded ENTIRE CONVERSATIONS, BEAT-BY-BEAT DIALOGUE, even when she’s just been DRUGGED TO THE GILLS with morphine and has mere moments of consciousness left… and even before that, she literally takes the time to write “He's trying the windows and doors! ...Someone’s inside! Someone’s inside the house! ETC ETC” when she thinks her stalker has broken in downstairs. WHO DOES THAT?)

-> Speaking of dialogue, the dialogue is so bad. Based on his bio, Michaelides got a degree in screenwriting, which makes his terrible dialogue even more baffling.

-> HILARIOUSLY rendered voyeur scenes where the narrators spy on couples having sex. Such unintentionally awkward descriptions. First we had Kathy’s climax sounds through the trees and then the bowler hat carefully placed on a tombstone before the gatekeeper plows a student. Again, I died.

PLOT/"TWIST"

-> The CONSTANT red herrings make for such an exhausting read. Michaelides drops anvils with almost every character that are so obviously meant to designate them as suspects in our minds. There is absolutely no subtlety in his misdirections.

-> The “crossover” scene between the SP and The Maidens makes no sense - when in the timeline does Mariana’s story overlap with Theo’s? They confer just before Theo starts working at the Grove, obviously (though Mariana appears to be the one who alerts Theo to the job opening there? Whereas in the SP, Theo has been obsessively tracking Alicia since the murder and had already planned to apply to work there?), but then are we supposed to believe that while Theo has been psychotically pursuing his warped quest to “help” Alicia, he’s also been diligently treating Zoe, so invested in her case that he repeatedly reaches out to Mariana to get her to visit Zoe and even writes Mariana a lengthy letter to convince her to do so??? And then a couple days after The Maidens ends, Theo is arrested???

-> But the thing I really did hate the most is how Michaelides treats his female murderers (who are both also victims themselves) as mere means to deploy a “twist”; there’s no moment spared to encourage our sympathy for Zoe, who was groomed and manipulated by the only trusted father figure in her life, and even after spending a decent amount of time getting to know Alicia via her ridiculous diary, where it’s so apparent that she’s been demeaned, objectified, manipulated, gaslit, and/or used by EVERY man in her life, she’s sent packing to spend the rest of her days in a coma… HOW much more satisfying would it have been for her to succeed in exposing Theo and reclaiming her voice? But no, she basically rolls over when he comes to finish her off (SPEAKING OF — ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THERE ARE NO SECURITY CAMERAS IN THIS INSTITUTE FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE????), writes one last diary entry, and drifts off forever. And then a couple pages of nothing later, the story is over. GOODNIGHT, ALICIA!

Both books kept me rolling throughout (by which I mean eye-rolling but also rotfl). Maybe I will check out his next effort — I’m morbidly curious what he’ll turn out. It does leave me wondering whether I should give up on thriller novels entirely, though. Are many of the weaknesses of these novels just characteristic of the genre? Maybe I'm just holding these books to unfair standards? I'm mostly only familiar with thriller films — many of which I think are amazing — but maybe you can get away with more in a film than you can in a novel.

...I really only intended to write a handful of bullet points, but more and more kept coming to mind as I wrote, to the point where subheadings became necessary. Whoopsie.

[lollytea]

Hi! I love you Shageera fic! The fandom is so small and your fic is so good, I can't thank you enough! And I wanted to ask you, do you have any headcanon about their relationship outside of Talespin? In the original Jungle Book "canon" or some other AU? I'd love to hear them if you do have them, your takes are gold!

Hi! Thank you so much!!

Hmmm. All the versions of shagheera in my head follows the same basic story structure of “friends as kids, grow apart as they get older, reconnect as adults” EXCEPT for the jungle book/canon universe, where the first two DO apply to them (thank you jungle cubs for making that canon, idk where I’d be without jungle cubs canon.) but they continue to keep their distance from each other once they’re grown. I mean Khan tried to kill Bagheera’s kid AND his bear husband. I don’t think they ever can bounce back from that one. They got bad blood and they probably always will.

Unless….just kidding…..unless….

I think about the plot of this cancelled third jungle book movie very often. Yeah it would’ve been bad but….but….but adult Khan and Bagheera might have interacted. Also I wanna know how the fuck a shere khan redemption arc is written. Not very well probably but I still wanna see it. I think Disney should send me the script to this film. As a gift. I think I deserve it. It’s not like they want it. Hand it over, lads.

ANYWAY

Besides the talespin universe, I’ve got like two shagheera AUs

Treasure Planet AU — Bagheera is a scholar and astronomer who comes aboard Captain Shere Khan’s ship. The two know recognize each other as the childhood friend they used to play pirates with. So, rather ironic circumstances they’ve found themselves in. Neither know how to react to reuniting so they’re pretty awkward about it and refuse to acknowledge that they were ever close. They mostly interact with the distant politeness of people who barely know each other and strictly refer to the other Captain/Doctor (unless circumstances are dire) But they’re gonna be stuck on this ship together for the next few weeks so they better figure out what the fuck their relationship is.

Bagheera is deeply out of his element. He’s intimidated by the crew and he doesn’t know how to handle a weapon so he considers himself rather useless on this expedition. He’s never even held a pistol before and now he’s expected to know how to shoot one. He’s so frazzled that he nearly (accidentally) shoots Khan dead at one point. But he wouldn’t be Bagheera if he wasn’t stubbornly insisting that he knows what he’s doing, especially when the captain shoots some sardonic comment his way. The two get into more squabbles than he cane keep track of.

Shere Khan is exasperated with the doctor, with the boy he brought aboard, with the entire idiot crew he hired, but especially with the doctor. He attempts to keep himself composed but he keeps stooping to the most childish arguments and he feels like the presence of Bagheera is forcibly dragging him back 25 years every time they interact. Shere Khan does not know how to feel about that.

Shere Khan finds himself having to acknowledge that Bagheera is brilliant. Due to the doctor’s calculations, the ship avoided the waves of impact during a difficult path through a black hole and he’s the reason they got out alive. He never felt all that much admiration for the little brainiac when they were children but now he is absolutely blowing him away.

Bagheera starts spending more time in Shere Khan’s office because it’s the only place he feels comfortable. (The crew really creeps him out.) and they do everything from argue to discuss alternate routes to pour over the map. This evolves to Shere Khan teaching Bagheera what he knows about wielding a sword and they have many homoerotic sparring sessions. Sometimes they’ll lay out in the escape boats and Bagheera will teach Khan the names of all his favourite constellations. They have many homoerotic star gazing sessions. BASICALLY they have a gay space pirate love story but it’s behind the scenes stuff cuz Kit is the protagonist of this au and he doesn’t give a fuck what Shere Khan and Bagheera are doing.

They are forced to acknowledge that they care about each other when the stakes get more dangerous and both have their near death experiences, rattling the other considerably. At the very least they start calling each other by their first names again ❤️

Fairytale/ Dragon Princess AU — OKAY i don’t think I’ve ever publicly posted about this au so I won’t unpack all of it cuz I know y’all aren’t familiar with it. It’s mostly focused on Baloo/Rebecca and the bear family as a whole but Shagheera is involved too so I’ll focus on that part for now.

So basically Shere Khan was a kid prince and Bagheera was the son of a servant so, as the only two children in the castle, they’ve been playmates since before they could walk.

The only other children they interacted with were Bagheera’s friends (Baloo, Louie etc.) and Shere Khan’s wife-to-be, Princess Rebecca. Their parents arranged the engagement and neither Khan or Rebecca were thrilled about it. As they grow older, Bagheera leaves the palace to make his own way and he and Khan don’t keep in touch.

By the time they were young adults, mysterious circumstances paused Shere Khan and Rebecca’s upcoming marriage when word spread around that the princess had been horribly cursed and locked away in a tower. Details were sparse, even to her fiancé. All that was known was that she had last been seen talking with a man who had a reputation for being a dark mage and it can be deduced that he was the one behind the curse.

But before she disappeared, Rebecca sent Khan a letter begging him to please not retrieve her from the tower, warning him that whoever ventured out to save her would not make it back alive. Khan obliged of course, both because he respected her wishes and if she returned, he would have to marry her.

As a king, Shere Khan had excellent publicity. He was charming and charismatic in public, masking the fact that he was an absolute bitch in private. He was also obliged to act like he cared about his fiancée being returned to his side so every now and then he allowed whatever arrogant glory seeking fool who offered, to go “save” her. None of them lived.

Years later, Khan drops into an ancient, desolate library on the outskirts of town, hoping to find a particular book on plants. It’s after midnight, so he doesn’t have to deal with the scandal of the king being out and about. And who does he find between the shelves, bathed in the dim glow of oil lamps, but Bagheera, snoring on the floor in a pile of open books.

This begins a tentative acquaintanceship in which Khan escapes to the library every now and again for a change of scenery and to meet with Bagheera, who lives on the floor above.

It doesn’t take long for Shere Khan to learn Bagheera’s reputation. As it turns out, the passionate yet introverted scholar with books on the brain, is allegedly the “dark mage” that put a curse on Rebecca all those years ago. This would explain why his library is always empty. Everyone in town is petrified of him.

Rather than turn to anger or fear, Shere Khan can only feel disbelief and intrigue because whatever rumors are going around are clearly fabricated. He challenges Bagheera to perform some evil little spell for him, summon hellbeasts if he must. But Bagheera falters and it is revealed that underneath that reputation is a bit of a sham. Bagheera has been trying for years to become an adept mage but he just can’t get the hang of it. His spell-work is terrible. Always has been.

“Well surely you can’t have cursed the princess then?” Shere Khan reasons. But that’s not exactly true. Yes, Bagheera was not behind the original curse but when Rebecca came to him for help, he accidentally made it so so much worse. Bagheera is the reason shes been forced to hide herself away in a tower and he’s been spending all these years attempting to improve his magic so he can finally undo what he’s done.

And so Fairytale/Dragon Princess AU is a fantasy love story where Shere Khan attempts to help Bagheera effectively channel his magic. The fun part about it is magic is intricately tied to a persons emotional state so when you’re having homoerotic little scenes with your childhood buddy and he touches your forearm, you nearly set the whole goddamn library ablaze. Real gay shit.

I have run out of steam and cannot ramble anymore. Hope I have pleased you.

[ragingbookdragon]

Forging Paths Final Part

Batsis Story!

A/N: First and foremost, I apologize to the people who follow me because I just spammed the everliving fuck outta y’all and I’m so sorry. Secondly, here’s the last part! -Thorne <3

Set two years after Part 6.

(Y/N)'s body cried as she shoved open her window and dropped inside her apartment. She lay on the floor and groaned when the stinging sensation came back to her shoulder. I really need to get that sewed up. She thought as she began pulling herself off the floor. She hobbled into the bathroom, passing her nightstand and making a mental note to check her answering machine when she was finished. Layer by layer, she peeled off her uniform, which clung to her sweaty skin. Once her body hit the cold air, she moaned in relief. I love L.A., but I also hate L.A. Why the hell did I choose someplace that's 72˚, in the summer, at night? She shook her head and pulled out the first aid kit under her sink and began disinfecting the cut on her shoulder. Carefully, she stitched it back up and cleaned it once more before taking some aspirin and hopping in the shower. Wrapped in her bath towel, (Y/N) moved to her bedroom and walked to the dresser, pulling out some underclothes and a T-shirt. Slipping them on, she toweled her hair as she sat on the edge of her bed and hit the button to the answering machine. The machine spat out the usual: You have one new message, Friday 7:49 P.M. The voice that came out was one she was certainly not expecting.

"Hi (Y/N)? It's me, Selina Kyle. I...uh...Catwoman, if you don't remember." She snorted at Selina's awkward sounding message. "I was just calling to let you know about my engagement...to your father...Bruce." (Y/N)'s eyes went saucer wide and her jaw hit the floor. He's getting married? Big man that dresses in a Bat costume and hides all his emotions? Him? He's getting married? She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Selina's voice continued on the machine. "Look, I know, well actually I don't know, because I wasn't there, but that's not important. Anyway, I know you and your dad don't speak, at all, but I wanted you to know about us and I was hoping that maybe you would come? I know it's a stupid request, but when I tell you that everything you said to him weighs on his heart, I'm not lying. Your dad is weak, (Y/N). He is a weak man who misses his daughter and wants to make things right between you two, even if he's a damn fool who has no clue how to go about it. I know it's asking a lot, but I hope you'll come back for a while. If not, I understand. I wish you all the best in the world (Y/N). Goodbye." The message ended and (Y/N) sat on her bed in bewildered disbelief. There's absolutely no way he wants to see me, not after everything I said, after everything we said. She thought. But the more she thought about it, the more believable Selina's message sounded. She rose off her bed and began pacing around her room. Then, she stopped. Don't do it. She told herself. Don't do it, he doesn't want to see you. She brushed away her thoughts and groaned pulling a small suitcase from her closet and setting it on the bed. Reaching for her phone she dialed a number and waited, the person picking up after a few rings.

"Heyyy, Uncle Oliver. It's (Y/N)." (Y/N) looked at the answering machine once more and peered at it through narrowed eyes. "I'm gonna need a favor...."

If there was one thing she loved about summer in Gotham, it was the fact that it stayed in the mid 40's all night. The cool breeze felt nice on her skin as she drove around the city. Nothing had changed enough to be notice, but the drive was still nostalgic. Passing the high skyscrapers, she drove along the bridge that led to Wayne Enterprises. Parking her bike near the side, she pulled out her grappling gun and shot up to the top. Her hand gripped the top ledge and she pulled herself up and on it, reclining back and staring out into the city. Had you asked her two years ago what she thought of Gotham, you would have gotten the reply, "hell-hole." But looking at it now, she affectionately referred to it as a, "pretty hell-hole" (with a beautiful night-scene). She looked out into the night and watched the subways glide through the station, as night workers filed in to go home. She could see the clock-tower in the distance, a hideaway Barbara stayed in when she was too busy to get to the Batcave. No, she didn't truly hate the city anymore. It was bad memories that tainted it for her. She stayed silent for a few moments before speaking. "How'd you know I was in Gotham?" She glanced over her shoulder and watched as he walked forward. He stopped and sat beside her, removing the cowl before replying.

"I know everyone who comes in and out of my city." She rolled her eyes and huffed a laugh.

"Of course you do." His eyes crinkled just a little and he stared at her.

"Why are you back?" She raised an eyebrow at the question that sounded more like a suspicious accusation.

"Why are you so concerned about it?" He drew back slightly, tripping over his words.

"I...uh...I'm not...I'm not concerned about it. I just...hmm." She looked at him as he stumbled clumsily over his explanation, and her eyebrows drew together in humor. She reached over and nudged his shoulder.

"Relax. I'm just kidding." His mouth formed a small smile and he exhaled. "I heard from a certain Cat that she and a certain Bat were tying the knot." He looked at her, shock evident on his face. Well it's obvious she didn't tell him about her phone call to me. "She mentioned that she wanted me to come. And well, I think you and I need to have a heart-to-heart conversation that doesn't involve us screaming at one another." It was rare for (Y/N) to speak this way to Bruce, but if he really wanted to fix things, she was going to have to take the first step. She opened her mouth to speak when he rose.

"Wait right here for a moment. I'll be right back." He sauntered off, leaving (Y/N) confused.

"Uh, okay. Sure, I'll wait right here."

He returned shortly after with a bottle in one hand and two crystal glasses in another. Her face morphed into shock when she saw the bottle.

"Is that, The Macallan M Whiskey?" He nodded his head a smirk playing his lips, as he poured two glasses.

"Yes, yes it is." He handed her one of the glasses, taking the other himself.

"Dude, you know this shit sells for like 630 G's right? We could make a hella ton of money if we sold it." Bruce started laughing at that, and it shocked her. It had been so long since he'd laughed in front of her that she had forgotten he even could.

"(Y/N) you do remember that I'm a multi-billionaire, right?" Her face morphed into realization as she mumbled a quiet, 'oh yeah, I forgot about that.'

"So why are we drinking super expensive whiskey?" He placed his glass down beside him and he drew his hands together, glancing out into the city.

"When I was fifteen years old, I went exploring into the other parts of the manor I hadn't ever looked in. One of those parts being the cellar where we stored our liquor. I found a letter my father had written and stuck to the bottle." His face dropped and for a split second, (Y/N) thought her father looked so much older than he should have. He cleared his throat and continued. "The letter was addressed to me, telling me that I was to open this bottle when I hit a major accomplishment in my life." He looked at (Y/N) and the sincerity in his gaze made her chest tighten. "I should've opened it the day you were born. In fact, I should've opened it the day you left for L.A." She looked at her lap.

"Why?" He continued to stare at her.

"Because of the woman my daughter grew up to be." Tears blurred (Y/N)'s vision and she felt a hand touch her shoulder. Looking up at him, he wore a heart-wrenching smile, and his eyes were sad. "You were right about it all (Y/N). I never raised you like I should've. I put too much pressure on you setting the bar so high, thinking it would help, that instead of helping, it damaged you. I wasn't there for you like I should've been when you were younger, and if I could go back in time, I would spend every moment of free time I had, taking care of my beautiful baby-girl." (Y/N) brought her hands up to her face and covered it, as muffled sobs came out of her mouth. Taking a risk, Bruce reached out and put his arms around her, pulling her to his chest and placed a hand to the side of her head. His head rested on her shoulder and she felt her jacket begin to go damp. "You were right when you called me a poor excuse for a father. I am so sorry (Y/N), for everything. I'm so sorry I wasn't the father you deserved or needed. I'm sorry I made you resent everything you grew up with. I'm sorry that no matter how much I apologize, it won't ever be enough. Because no words or actions could ever fix what I've broken. I'm so...I'm so-.." His voice cut off as ragged sobs cut through his chest, but he just kept mumbling the words 'I'm so sorry'. (Y/N) wrapped her arms around his middle and buried her face in his shoulder, feeling his arms tighten around her. When was the time dad hugged me? She thought. She couldn't remember, but it was sorely overdue. They stayed that way for a long while, a broken father holding his broken daughter, and cried.

After some time, they eventually pulled away and began wiping their faces. Everything was fine until, "Ugh gross! You snotted all over my shoulder!" (Y/N) took one look at her father pointing to his snot covered shoulder and broke into hysteric laughing; Bruce joining in, but still had a disgusted look on his face. (Y/N)'s stomach hurt she was laughing so hard, and tears rolled down her cheeks, and she let out an airy, 'I'm sorry'. Bruce just waved it off and kept laughing, tears rolling down his cheeks too. After their laughter died down, they wiped their eyes once more, and then picked up their glasses. Bruce opened his mouth to speak, but (Y/N) motioned for him to wait. He nodded at her. She sat up straight and faced him.

"Look, I know a bottle of whiskey and one boo-hoo fest isn't going to repair everything that's happened between us." Bruce looked down into his glass, until a hand gripped his own, causing him to look up at (Y/N), who wore peaceful expression. "But, I'm certainly willing to try." She reached out her glass and looked at him. "What do you say...Dad?" Bruce's eyes began to feel warm, and he reached up and wiped them before moving his glass to hers. He looked at her and clinked it.

"I think that's a fine idea...Daughter." They shared a smile and knocked back their glasses, staring out into city. It was peaceful for a moment before she leaned over and spoke.

"So, just out of curiosity, if I move back to Gotham, can I keep patrolling like I'm living back in L.A.?" She heard a strong grunt beside her.

"No."

"Meh. Thought I'd ask anyway." They both broke into laughter again, pouring each other another glass.

The summer nights in Gotham weren't exactly cold, just enough to wear a jacket for a little warmth. But as (Y/N) and Bruce sat on the ledge of Wayne Enterprises drinking whiskey and cracking jokes,

It was all the warmth they needed.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

1 2

2

Let into the stranger’s apartment, Levi didn’t know whether to be impressed or not by its sheer emptiness. The man really seemed to only give two fucks about having a roof over his head, everything else was goddamn bleak once the apartment lights came on

“Sit on the sofa, I’ll get the first aid kit”

Right. The kid in front of him was too old to hold any youthful charms. There were no “welcome to my humble abodes”, but there was also no “don’t fucking bleed to death on my sofa”, leading him to wonder how many damn strays the man dragged home with no thought of his own safety. His host didn’t even close the door behind them, disappearing off through a door as Levi was left to limp him way into the living area, eyes drawn to massive fucking bong sitting on the table. Great. His “goddamn saviour” was a pot smoking hippy determined to do his good deed for the day.

Everything seemed to hurt as Levi sank onto the sofa. Pulling out his wallet and phone, he chucked them lightly on the table, before freeing himself of his jacket, and kicking back to examine the apartment closer. Other than the bong, the place wasn’t as terrible as it could be. The paint work seemed passable, the furniture served its purpose. Heck, the man had a small bookcase of what seemed to be well read classics, two photo frames sitting on the top shelf, summing up the total everything personal inside the space.

“Scotch, bourbon, or beer?”

Levi jumped, alpha growling lightly at the fact he’d let himself get distracted

“Got any water?”

Clanging from kitchenette connected to the living area, the way the man slammed his cabinet grated on Levi’s nerves. The typical alpha punk snorting, before replying

“You’re gonna want something harder when I’m stitching that hand of yours up”

“Tea?”

“That’s a new one. I’ve got coffee”

If Levi had wanted coffee, he would have asked for coffee. Nothing tonight was going fucking right

“Double shot scotch”

“I suppose you want ice”

Levi shrugged. It all pretty much tasted like warm piss, iced or otherwise

“Oh, man, sure... If you’re offering”

Chuckling at him, the stranger had an alright laugh. For a man he didn’t give two shits about, he wasn’t completely fucking awful

“Careful, there. You’re verging on being polite”

“I’m always polite”

“Says the one calling me a “lanky shit””

Being five-foot-fucking-three was shameful for an alpha. All his damn life people treated him like a fucking runt, not that Levi had an issue with it. He just wasn’t as tall as the strange brown haired man who’s sofa he was now bleeding onto, and apparently needed to care about this right now

“You fucking are”

Bring over the first aid kit and his scotch, the man quirked an eyebrow at him. Levi nearly blinking in shock. Never in his life had he set eyes on a set of eyes so damn green... Scruffy around the edges, the man had shed his leather jacket in favour of a black hoodie, brown hair pull back into a messy bun, not missing a beat as he quirked a smile at him

“And you’re a grumpy old man, aren’t you?”

Yeah. And the man who probably an escaped lunatic that’d murdered his mother and eloped with his sister, knowing Levi’s luck

“Fuck off”

“You know what they say, “6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t happy”. Give me your hand, I’ll take a look”

Holding his hand out Mister Lanky-fuck, as Levi had now decided to call him, sat on the edge of his coffee table. Even with the sofa a few inches taller with the cushion, Lanky-fuck had the never to be taller than him. One look at the man’s grease stained hands had the alpha wrinkling his nose

“Leave the kit, I’ll handle it. I don’t know what I’m likely to catch from those hands of yours”

“Don’t be such a baby. They have these magical things called gloves and sanitizer, my father would murder me if he ever thought I was patching someone up without gloves on. Are you always so damn uncooperative?”

What the fuck? The man in front of him seemed ready to fucking pout. He might have only just seen his face a few moments ago, but now Levi was stuck between the awkwardness of not knowing how young the kid was, or how old the man was... Normally he considered himself quite well versed in the subtle act of people watching. It kind of came in handy sizing up the man who wanted to beat you arse before a fight. Snarkily he shot back

“I don’t know, do you bring home every alpha you meet?”

The stranger shrugged

“I don’t know. Never brought anyone here before so I guess that’s a no. Now, let me fix you up then I can go the fuck to bed with it your death on my hands”

Snorting, and despite the sheer randomness of the situation, Levi wasn’t sure he would mind being murdered by the man in front of him. He seemed easily as cranky as he was, and he’d been looking for something to break the daily grind. Catching his tongue, the alpha blinked in self induced shock, realising he’d very nearly asked if going to bed involved going to bed to fuck. None of this was like him. He never wanted... he was on suppressants. The dumb blonde beta who’d busted his lip must have shaken his brain loose, either that or the late nights were finally catching up with him

“Wash your hands then put the gloves on”

“God. I’ve got you. You’re not the first person I’ve patched up. I would tell you to wash your hand off first but that would hurt like a bitch”

“This dump has an actual shower?”

“With soap and all”

Letting out a low whistle, Levi fooled no one with his tiny bit of actual surprise that somewhere so crappy would have working facilities. If anything the only “foolish” thing would be how much of a fool he was making of himself right now

“I don’t believe it, maybe you’ll have to show me”

Fuck. Fucking. Fuck. Abort. What he meant to say was “If you don’t mind, I’d actually prefer to wash my hands and face”. Not that... Confusion clouded the strangers features, followed by a heavy frown in his direction. Heck. Now the brat looked old enough to be pushing 30. Being “baby faced” had to have its damn limits

“Listen. You can shower if you want. You can eat my food. Hell, you can put your clothes through the washing machine and dryer. I didn’t bring you home for a fuck, and if you think I did, you’ve got it all wrong. I brought you home because you dying on our fucking back step would probably cost me a job I can’t afford to lose”

This was going terribly. Would things go better if he tried to introduce himself? He had no intention of running into this kid again, so what was the point giving him his name?

“Calm your shit. It was a joke. Just fix my hand and I’ll take it from there, Mister Lanky-fuck”

Sighing at him, Mister Lanky-fuck appeared done with him

“That’s a new one. It’s Kruger. My name... Do you really have to keep scowling at me?”

What kind of a name was “Kruger”? Was it a first name? Or a last name? Or a nickname? Nope. He didn’t care. None of this mattered anyway

“I’m not scowling”

He couldn’t help it. Time and time again he’d been told he’d look less murderous should he open his eyes just that little bit wider. He didn’t know what people expect from that shit. His face was pretty much set the same way it’d always been... something referred to as “resting bitch face”, if his idiot friend was to be believed. Having been forced to think about it left a scowl on his face. Kruger snatching up his hand before Levi could grimace at the amount of germs

“Right. Sit there and drink your scotch. I’ll have this done as soon as possible”

*

Neither man had any idea of how fateful this first meeting would be, least of all Eren who wasn’t sure he’d done an actual good dead. He hadn’t learned the strange short alpha’s name, only that he took stitches like he’d had them a hundred times before. Patching the bastard back up, Eren forced himself to remember that politeness did exist, though there did seem to be some kind of polite mutual annoyance at the world between them that he didn’t think he was imagining. Whatever. He’d shown the man around his apartment, told him to use whatever was there... then crashed so hard he really could have been murdered in his sleep.

Come the following afternoon, Eren had woken to find the stranger gone and for some unfathomable reason his washing done, ironed, and neatly left on his coffee table. Hell, he might have just taken him to bed had he known he’d get free housework out of it. Whatever the fuck last night was, that was the last time. The stranger was gone, and with the beating he’d gotten the night before, it was severely unlikely he’d ever see him at the garage again. God. His sister was going to kill him for this... good thing she was never going to find out about him acting on a stupid whim.

[gascon-en-exil]

Favorite and least favorite overclass, design and other flavor elements are included?

Don’t know if I have favorites and least favorites, but let me think back a bit on these:

Conquerer: It took me a few battles to get why the extra bow range mattered when Alm will always have a sword equipped. Not bad.

Rigain: Celica learns...Aura. Whee. That’s not even a good spell relative to the rest of her list, and why is it purple?

Yasha: I assume this is some Japanese cultural reference I’m not getting, so this one ranks pretty low. Its unique skill relying on two levels of RNG also sucks.

Spartan: Entirely appropriate for Forysth who’s into that manly military love of the euphemistically Greek variety, maybe a little less so for Lukas and...I guess Leon can enjoy Valbar in it? Sucks as a class, as with all things involving armors.

Skogul: That 10 movement is the definition of boring but practical, and the look isn’t bad either.

Harrier: It’s a dark flier. I like the class as much as the next person, but clearly not as much as IS when they’ve appeared in every mainline game since they were introduced. Shame it only gets the basic Fire spell though.

Oliphantier: Weird. It loses 1 movement to gain even more bow range, and I’m not really feeling the look between the overcomplicated bow design and the armor that attempts to make the horse look like an elephant.

Guru: Lemegeton is great utility, particularly since most male mages don’t get much in that department. Unfortunately both mage overclasses could look better - not loving the crown or the puffy shoulders on this one.

Enchantress: I will now associate Mire and Death with Hubert since those are his two 1-3 range spells and Mire is entirely unique to him among the Three Houses playables he greases his hair with it, so it’s a little awkward coming back to this class now. You’d think with a name like that they’d get something more inventive than a pair of basic damage options.

Exemplar: Comes with that pious light magic user aesthetic I always enjoy, and even if Ward and Restore are situational spells the default clerics already have tons of utility in their kits.

Generally speaking I don’t care for how characters lose their unique animations in overclasses. The new ones they get are cool, but not that cool.

[peekychu]

The history of my fursonas! 🐱

I’m in an especially infodump-y mood at the moment and I watched a video about fursonas that inspired me (Shoutout to Pocari Roo’s channel!) so here we go ^o^ 

Click under the cut to read the whole enchilada! (It’s a long post, make sure you have the appetite for it first xD)

I first learned about the furry fandom in about 2013-14 from some friends at school! Granted, the two teenage boys I talked to a lot were more obsessed with the... sexual side of that xD I won’t go into that though because that would involve me talking about more uncomfortable stuff >.> I also had another friend that was such a huge influence to me and they’re a big reason that I still draw fuzzy animals to this day! Their fursona at the time was named Icy and I thought that character was the freakin�� coolest. I remember going home after talking to them, filled with inspiration and making my very first fursona!

Her original name was Rogue Feather, but the name Scarlett came later and ultimately stuck way better! Her design was simple, a red fox with a purple bandana! Not much thought was put into her, I just put together what I thought a typical fursona would look like :P I didn’t draw her much since I was way more focused on MLP and my ponysona Starfruit, but I still enjoyed doodling her!

Shortly after Scarlett, I created Citrus the cat! To be honest, she didn’t really represent me other than being a cat xD Her design was actually based off of a girl that I had a crush on at that time, but that’s a whole other story >.>

Also, it was coincidental that Twinkie has elements from both of these beginning characters, I just noticed that making this post! I learned that I loved cats from creating citrus, and I loved drawing Scarlett’s wings and bandanas so I suppose it was natural that my current fursona would have all of these traits :P

Well, months pass after posting the first drawings of Citrus and Scarlett on my Instagram, and at this point I decided to try taking up digital art! I downloaded FireAlpaca for free (still my program of choice x3) and worked really hard at drawing with only my mouse!

My friend that inspired me to draw more furry characters had changed their fursona over from a bright sparkledog-ish color scheme to another character with muted browns and oranges. Inspired once again, I designed another cat character to represent myself!

Meet Macchiato (or Mac for short)! They were made when I switched my focus from My Little Pony to furry characters, and I moved from Instagram to DeviantArt as my main art site. 

When I made Mac, I was close to beginning high school and I questioned a lot about my identity, mainly my gender and sexuality :P For a period of time, I pushed aside my adoration for ponies, Pokemon and colorful things in favor of things I thought were “cooler” and more boyish. A large part of this was my complicated relationship with my gender identity, but also because I thought I had to act more mature... so I expressed this by drawing myself as a cat? It was complicated xD

Anyways, while I have a soft spot for Mac, they’re sort of my own Rex Dangervest if that makes sense :P I mean, they were my first expression of feeling neutral to gender which was a big deal for me, but when I look at their drab colors it sort of makes me sad that I didn’t have much fun designing them. (I did have a blast drawing that pixel reference though, I remember that xD)

I also created a few more furry characters just for the fun of it! I won’t post pictures of all of them for the sake of length, but they were Chamomile the fennec fox, Minx the cat, Caira the alien dog, Pfeffer the bunny, Flicker the bat (who I should draw again sometime >.>) Mitzi the dog and... Whatever animal Skyler was supposed to be xD I made all these characters before I attempted to make a fursona that I felt more connected with...

Along came Clash the cat, an even more depressing character than Mac for me to look at xD I was considerably depressed at this point from the pressure of high school and my identity issues, the droopy eyelids and chaotic color scheme of him sort of reflect this. 

It’s a good thing you can’t read his description in that screenshot, Believe me, but I think I should quote a part of it because it greatly represents how I felt about myself during the time period when I made him.

“If you were to dissect his brain, you’d see something much like somebody’s tangled collection of thread and yarn. Colorful, unkept, and full of pushed aside potential.”

Ouch!!

Well, after a period of depressing fursonas I played that one cat icon creator game that circulated on Tumblr for a while, and I made my favorite old fursona! I think that he had a lot in common with Twinkie and I used them more than everyone else beforepaw.

Here’s Cetrada, my little Nickelodeon slime cat xD I named them after the Italian citron-flavored soda that my friend Francesca (Love ya buddy!) sent to me in the mail! That soda is actually spelled Cedrata, the misspelling of the name was not a creative choice but an actual dumb mistake xP 

I genuinely still love this character, I nicknamed them Limey since it’s simple and cutesy like them, but I’m not sure if I’ll ever use them again. Think of them as teenage Twinkie I guess xD I love ya Cetrada, you were a good kitty <3

Eventually Cetrada grew stale for me and I went through a couple of other fursonas. I don’t have much to say about them since they were pretty short lived, but I’ll post a single picture of each of them! I’m getting a bit tired of making mini collages of them anyways :P

While Reese’s design and colors are a bit awkward, I genuinely adore their mini companion Mallow the bat :P They look like pistachio pudding, what a cutie!

Ugh, this fursona stresses me out to look at too xD I mean arguably they’re the closest in design to Twinkie (yellow cat with angel wings and star knee markings) but they remind me of a rough time I suppose? I drew a couple pictures of them looking more sexualized and with a more slim body type when in reality I was overweight and scared of intimacy... they just remind me of an unhealthy period of my life @_@ I must have felt that too though, I dropped this fursona pretty quickly.

I do actually like Kit even though I used him very briefly, I was starting to have WAY more fun with bright colors in my drawings! Sure he’s a bit too pastel 2015 Tumblr, but I do still like that pink and yellow combo ^w^

Eventually I grew sick of my DeviantArt and mostly just posted art on my main Tumblr where I got super into the kidcore scene! I had rediscovered my love of fun colors and sparkly eyes, kidcore sparked a new me! I wasn’t doing fantastic in life, but I developed more optimism and a genuine love for simple things which grounded me a lot. This was such a wild part of my life, through reblogging pictures of rainbows and Pokemon and slime I gained over 2,000 followers O.O Two of my closest friends told me that they found me by my influence in the kidcore Tumblr community back around 2016 and were intimidated to talk which is just nuts to me x’D

Anyways I’ll try not to go on a tangent about that anymore, but 2016-17 was wild! I should give a shoutout to my very first sparklesona Cosi, but he was made only barely before my true fursona...

That’s right babey, the one... The only!!!

HE’S FINALLY HERE! Twinkie, the fursona I truly felt a personal connection with. I mean, he’s everything I love bundled into one! Pikachu has been my hugest comfort ever since I was four years old so naturally I would have to incorporate it into my fursona somehow! I also gave him a bandana, my favorite accessory to draw on furry characters, and wings! Of course I love rainbows too so I gave him rainbow wings..... But I tweaked his design since the colored wings made him more bird-like. Nothing against birds of course, but I thought plain white angel wings were simpler and more iconic for him! I did give him a touch of rainbow later with his tag design! I also scrapped his red dot eyebrows and his tail bandana, but overall I loved the character I made! I was thrilled to have a fun cartoon kitty that I could use to express myself :3

Before him my only true-feeling ‘sona was Starfruit the pegasus, it was fulfilling because I feel like when I made Twinkie, I started to find myself! 

Twinkie did go through a couple redesigns including a semi-drastic color change sometime in early 2018, but I really do feel content with the way he looks right now! In Twinkie I see friendliness, optimism, and a caring heart which is what I strive for! He represents the journeys I took to be more comfortable with myself and he radiates the confidence that I hope to achieve one day as well >:3 I mean it is possible I could change him for a new fursona or even flat out drop him in the future, but after 3 strong years I think Twinkie will stay a part of me for a while ^w^

Anyways, if you’ve read all of this, THANK YOU!! This was a really personal post and I think it’s fascinating to look at my own self progression this way, I hope somebody gained something from this but if it was just for me that’s okay too xD

If anyone read all of this looong post and wants to make a similar post, PLEASE tag me! I’ve been so interested in fursonas and how people see/represent themselves through cartoon animals, isn’t it a wild phenomenon?? 

If you don’t feel like making a big post like I did though, you should reply with some cool facts about your fursona or count how many you’ve made in the past xD That would be rad <3

[hnd1ddianaferguson-blog]

Illuminate Research, Planning and Development

Image 1:

Photograph by  Darlene Hildebrandt

I found this image to be quite interesting, yet can’t decide if I like it or not. I feel like the colour of the sky is slightly off putting, yet it fits in with the subject itself, being old and rusty. I do, however, think the light painting itself has been done very well.I found this image to be quite interesting, yet can’t decide if I like it or not. I feel like the colour of the sky is slightly off putting, yet it fits in with the subject itself, being old and rusty. I do, however, think the light painting itself has been done very well.

Image 2:

Photograph by Catalin Anastase

This is a really creative, fitting painting with light photograph. The light gives the image a sort of mythical look, as if it were taken from a fairy-tale. It looks as if the image is layered, multiple pictures of the same thing being put together to create this image. I think the sky is slightly too dark, but overall it works well.  

Image 3:

Photograph by Dave Black

This painting with light is slightly different from the other images in terms of location. It has almost certainly been shot inside, and doesn’t show much in terms of background. I feel like there could maybe be some more light in certain areas, but is all round well done. This painting with light is slightly different from the other images in terms of location. It has almost certainly been shot inside, and doesn’t show much in terms of background. I feel like there could maybe be some more light in certain areas, but is all round well done.

Image 4:

Photograph by Simon Plant

This lighting in this image is has been done to a high standard, and I particularly like how the tree behind has also been light up. For me, I feel like the sky is slightly too dark, at least on one side on the photograph. This lighting in this image is has been done to a high standard, and I particularly like how the tree behind has also been light up. For me, I feel like the sky is slightly too dark, at least on one side on the photograph

Image 5:

Photograph by Tim Cooper

This is my personal favourite. The sky fits perfectly with the light and tone of the building, as it seems to be in a pastel kind of tone. I think the lighting has been done extremely well, as the image as a whole just works very well together and is aesthetically pleasing.

Image 6:

Photograph by Diana Ferguson

This is one of my own images using painting with light. I really enjoyed shooting this, and had great fun experimenting with the settings and how to move the light to create the best type of lighting. It was quite challenging trying to keep the light facing away from the camera, and moving fast enough to not get caught yet slow enough to light the subject. I shot this using one long exposure, no layering.

What is ‘noise’ and why does it happen?

Much like with sound where noise refers to auditory disruptions, within photography noise refers to the visual distortion. Noise looks like small coloured pixels or specks in your photograph and occasionally resembles the grain you can see in film photography.

Things such as sensor size, higher ISO and long exposures can be factors that bring about noise in images.

Noise generally tends to happen when the sensor heats up. For example, images with a higher ISO. The higher the ISO, the more the sensor has to work to let more light in, causing the temperature to rise. This is why the noise becomes more apparent each time you bump up the ISO.

Difficulties associated with night photography:

Camera shake.

This can be solved with something as simple as using a tripod and a remote trigger, minimising and contact with the camera that could cause camera shake.

Noise.

This can be solved by reducing the ISO and using a longer shutter speed, paired with a tripod, to compensate for the low ISO.

Images being out of focus.

This can be solved by manually focusing instead of relying on autofocus. If possible, light could be added to the subject to give you enough to see your focus point, then the light can be removed leaving the focus still set.  

Shadows.

This one is slightly more challenging, as it may involve adding additional light to your subject. It could be done by diffusing light, bouncing it off a reflector so as it is not direct, or even just adding light straight onto the subject.

Difficulties associated with long exposures:

Camera shake.

Again, this can be fixed by using a tripod and a remote trigger to reduce contact with the camera.

Light flares.

This could be resolved by flagging any unwanted light, or even using a diffuser to lessen the light being captured by the camera.

Noise

Using longer shutter speeds and a lower ISO, the noise should be reduced.

Use filters

ND (Neutral Density) filters block out light being taken in through the lens, much like sunglasses. You would then have to adjust your camera settings to suite the filter.

Methods by which the effects of ‘noise’ can be minimised (pre and post editing):

Reducing the ISO

Adding flash or additional lighting will allow you so shoot with faster shutter speeds and a lower ISO.

Use a fast shutter speed if possible.

Keep your camera cool if possible. Noise is a reaction to temperature, so the cooler you can keep your camera the better. Try not to let it overheat.

Edit your images during post-production. There are many ways to reduce noise using software's such as Lightroom, Photoshop or Bridge. I found that Camera Raw in Bridge works best for me. Bumping up the Luminance (no higher than 20) and adding some Clarity really helps to reduce noise, although it ever so slightly softens the images.

Layering images. Noise is completely random, so layering images could help in reducing noise.

Noise reduction tools.

Equipment list:

Canon EOS 4000D

Tripod

Extra batteries

Lense (18-55mm)

SD cards

Notebook and pens for notes

Additional lighting such as a torch

Bags for storing the kit/umbrella in case of rain

An extra set of hands! (A friend to help when needed and also for safety)

Planning and Development:

The first stage of this brief is the research stage. I have researched relevant photographs and techniques so that I have a good understanding of what it is I am going to do when it comes to shooting.

I have also made a list of all the equipment I will need so that I have everything I need when I go out to shoot.

The next stage is to decide on what I would like my subject to be. I would like to shoot this in my home town, North Berwick, on the beach or surrounding areas (harbour, viewing points, benches, etc.)

Ideally, I would like to go home between the 30th March and the 5th April. This will give me time to scout out possible locations, take test shots and shoot my final image. I plan on shooting at dusk, so I will look up what time dusk is closer to the shooting date.

I would like to take some test shots during the day of things like; rocks, bushes, benches, posts, decorations and surrounding buildings.

Once I have my spot and time, I will make sure to give myself time to set up. Set up will include getting my tripod in place, getting the right camera settings, briefing my assistant on what needs done, and making sure all lights/batteries are working.

After setting up, I will use the window of time to shoot my subject, getting my model to light it, possibly myself lighting it too (using a timer or remote trigger).

After my shoot is complete and I am home, I will spend time looking over my shots to see if I have a final image and doing any editing if needed.

I will possibly look to do another shoot depending on how the first one goes.

Contact Sheets:

Final Image and Evaluation:

I really enjoyed shooting for this brief as well as researching for it. I had originally planned to shoot this down at the beach while I was home, but due to a change of circumstances, I wasn’t able to get to the beach. I then had to change my plan, and decided to shoot in my back garden. My original plan was to shoot a tree in my back garden. For this, I went out during the day to do some recce shots and to decide where I wanted to shoot from. Once I had figured out what I was going to do, I went out in the evening and shot the tree. Half way through, however, I found that I didn’t like how my images were turning out, and instead tried using the slide instead. This turned out to be a much better option, although looking back now I could have spent more time shooting the slide. I had my images looked over during class time and was told I needed to re-shoot. This was slightly awkward for me as I wouldn’t be going home again for a while, so I was able to leave the re-shooting until after I had finished with my personal project. I was able to re-shoot not long after my project was finished, and spent more time on it than the last time. The editing processes took slightly longer than I had expected, as I had to layer a few images together and used the brush tool to even a few areas out. I feel as though I could have planned and timed this brief slightly better than I did, and in the future I will pay more attention to planning, scheduling and getting test shot, but overall, I think I done reasonably well and am happy with my final image. 

References:

Image 1 - https://digital-photography-school.com/light-painting-part-one-the-photography/

Image 2 - https://www.catalinanastase.com/lightpaintinglandscapes/h6844AC59

Image 3 - https://www.nikonusa.com/en/learn-and-explore/a/tips-and-techniques/lighting-techniques-light-painting.html

Image 4 - https://www.ephotozine.com/article/light-painting-and-photography-12297

Image 5 - http://intothenightphoto.blogspot.com/2013/03/painting-with-light-by-tim-cooper.html

[sarazanmai]

Stuff I loved in 2018.

Its that time again. The end of a year and a look back on all the stuff I enjoyed. Honestly I almost wasn’t going to write this because I feel these posts are a lot of effort with very little reward, but there was a lot I experienced this year that I think was interesting and worth sharing. So let’s go.

Roger Ebert once said “artistry can redeem any subject matter”. While I’m not sure any subject matter can be salvaged through an artistic eye, it can certainly help. If someone approaches a certain material with a clear vision and purpose to what they do they can create something truly fascinating. The Monogatari series is a very strange one. Its told in a non chronological order, there’s characters who say they’re one thing and reveal themselves to be something else, there’s a lot of references to other anime, the visual style changes sometimes radically, its incredibly meta, some moments of fanservice have a deeper meaning to them while others not so much. Me personally I think the series goes through periods of being brilliant as well as periods where it just is not up to the same standard as before. That said I kind of like that, I like that you go through so many different moods and style shifts. Not everyone will like that, some will get frustrated with the weaker seasons, but for me I think it all comes together and really made for something I won’t forget. I watched the entire series within a week and then later in the year I rewatched it all barring “Koyomimonogatari” which is one of those weaker seasons in my opinion. Despite its bulk, despite its tendencies, the Monogatari series just kept me hooked.

There comes a time where we all must accept certain truths. One of them is a lot of you don’t really understand mecha. I still see all of these reviews and comments claiming that mecha before “Evangelion” were all just light fluffy Saturday morning cartoon fare with little substance. This could not be further from the truth. The Gundam franchise from the very beginning was serving what I am going to refer to as a human element. It was not this soulless creation who’s only goal was to sell model kits. Whether it was Amuro’s PTSD from piloting the Gundam or Kamille and his tragic romance with Four or Char’s true motives during the original series there was always more going on than just giant robots shooting things. This isn’t even taking into consideration other installments like “War in the Pocket” where its a story of war from the point of view of a child and soldier. I have not watched every Gundam anime, I am sure there are some that were just there to exist as another installment in the franchise and didn’t necessarily push the franchise or genre into new areas. But what I have seen in “Mobile Suit Gundam”, “Zeta Gundam” “War in the Pocket”, “Unicorn”, “Iron Blooded Orphans”, and even the polarizing “ZZ Gundam” which I admittedly dropped were all very interesting and very unique experiences. Tomino really hit on something when he created the series and now we’ve come so far that we have a franchise so massive and large it needs an entire wikipedia article devoted to its cultural impact.

Once again, mecha that came before “Evangelion” were still displaying that human element many critics are convinced wasn’t there. In “Macross” its very prominent to the point where it feels like a driving force to the entire show as well as its film “Do You Remember Love”. We spend as much time with the characters and their developing relationships as we do with the mecha battles. The emphasis on music and culture as something that can create a change in the world is one of the themes synonymous with the franchise. While there certainly were times in the show where it leaned a bit into a comical area, I didn’t mind this. It was a show aimed at a younger audience and was trying to communicate these themes on their level so at times things can be a bit silly, but I appreciate what is being said so much that it does not feel like an issue. The heart is still there, the human element is still there. And more complex and serious sub plots are there too. Regardless when it comes to the film “Do You Remember Love” and the OVA “Macross Plus” things were certainly approached with a more mature voice, bringing the franchise to new places. I watched this prior to any Gundam anime in an attempt to get a better feel for the mecha genre. I wanted to expand my tastes and I’m very happy I did because not only did I love this I also want to really explore the genre now more than ever.

With the release of “Lupin III Part 5″ this year I was really turned onto that franchise. I ended up getting this massive itch to explore it when that anime wrapped and while not everything I found was a masterpiece it was a worthwhile endeavor. There’s something to Lupin the character and the series at large that manages to be both fun while also evoking a sense of coolness in spite of his goofiness. It was interesting to go through the various TV series and the movies and some specials and get a sense for how its evolved through time. Rewatching “The Castle of Cagliostro” I really enjoyed it a lot and other installments like “The Fuma Conspiracy” and “The Hemingway Paper Mystery” were hugely entertaining. I really liked “Lupin III part 4″ and “The Woman Called Fujiko Mine�� too and the original “Lupin III” anime. I can still hear that voice singing “Lupin...he’s a nice man...but he’s cool...”. And objectively speaking green jacket is best jacket. I feel like this is a series that has undergone so much evolution through the various people that came in to work on it that there’s bound to be something that appeals to somebody. You just have to find it.

I spent a lot of time ignoring “Gintama” and its a bit of a shame that I did because this is a really fun series. Despite how long it is I really didn’t feel like it took me a terribly long time to finish it. And even though its goal is more on the comedic side of things, the series surprised me with how strong of an emotional punch it can provide. The cast of characters is one of the most likeable and fun that I’ve seen in a while and the seiyuu cast was very impressive. Everyone plays their character well and I get the sense they really enjoy working on it. Akira Ishida in particular seemed to really get a kick out of playing someone as ridiculous as Katsura when so many of his other roles lean more serious. And of coarse everyone loves Tomokazu Sugita as Gin. His voice just feels so right for a character like this and it was great having him for something this big when in other anime I’ve seen him in he’s only around for so long. I’ve also got to give the series credit for its female characters. There’s a really sturdy amount and they’re all occupying their own place in this world with distinct identities. This is something that makes this world feel more alive and expansive. Kagura is a character I need to applaud for the fact that she wasn’t there for some sort of lolicon fanservice or to have a really awkward crush on Gin or Shinpachi. No she just cares about food and her dog. What a queen. Speaking of Shinpachi he was the MVP of this series, good boy. And there’s our Shinsengumi boys and of coarse Gin himself, so many great characters. I am sure a lot of people look at how much there is to “Gintama” and get nervous at the size of it, but there’s really no need to. When it clicks with you then there’s no putting it down.

“Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinju” might be one of the greatest anime in recent years. It takes you through so many periods in this man’s life and the people around him and manages to hold you the entire way. Once again Akira Ishida is someone I need to give major credit to. He’s a very talented seiyuu and in this anime his performance was so impressive I was almost beside myself. Given the performance style the series is built around the cast all needed to be really great at reciting these stories and articulating them. And for the scenes where the characters are not on stage, when the interpersonal drama comes out, everything just hits in such a powerful way. I can’t remember how often I cried during this anime, but it never felt like I was being manipulated. It all felt as if it came through organically and easily. Even more subtle scenes like a character finding out he’s having a child hit on just the right emotions. If you are in the mood for a fantastic character driven drama this is absolutely one I’d recommend.

Speaking of character driven drama “Sangatsu no Lion” is another one to tune into. It initially presents itself as a very intense and dark story, but as the viewer stays involved you find that this is not about wallowing in self loathing but healing. The family that has taken this very troubled young man in and helped him navigate through his mental illness is so likeable and endearing. You find yourself wanting to see him get better and hope that these girls, as well as the other shogi players, find happiness for themselves too. Its not always simple though. There are ups and downs to the characters and their arcs, but it never feels bitter or angry. It feels like reality. Over the coarse of its two seasons it manages to do what so many other shows about a character with depression fail to do. It never feels exploitative or like it has no sense of how to handle such a topic nor does it feel hopeless. As difficult as things in Rei’s life can become you know deep down this isn’t the end of the line, things can get better. It also does a very good job at holding your attention whether you understand the intricacies of shogi or not. You’re told what feels like the essential basic rules to the game and you aren’t thrown into a state of culture shock if you’ve never looked into the game before. I feel like what we have here is a modern masterpiece and more people have been watching it and celebrating it as a great achievement and that makes me so happy.

“Galaxy Express 999″, pronounced “three nine” because why not, is quite the space opera. I watched every episode of the original TV series as well as the two films directed by Rintaro and while they have some flaws or areas that did not age well, they’ve remained famous for a reason. The TV series did a really great job at pulling at your emotions and showing you different worlds. Some felt similar to others, but then there’s so much creativity in other areas. The concept of a space train was inspired by the popular Japanese children’s book “Night on the Galactic Railroad”, which would receive its own anime adaptation, and what Leiji Matsumoto did with this inspiration ended up taking on an identity all its own. You really feel for this bond between Tetsuro and Maetel. You spend so much time wondering just who Maetel is and what her goal in all of this could be. She’s kept just vague enough where I feel we were told all that we needed to. Tetsuro is someone I’ve seen reviewers describe as a little frustrating due to his naivete, but he’s a child. It makes complete sense for him to place his trust in the wrong person or make a mistake like he does. Masako Nozawa, the future voice of Goku and all his male relatives barring Raditz, voiced Tetsuro and I think she really brought a strong likeability to the character. We feel for him and also have a lot of fun seeing him travel through space. Its hard to say what version is stronger, I’d argue the show but know its not easy to recommend something that hefty. Whether someone watches the films or the show or both I think they’re still getting something great out of it.

And they say you can’t sum up a show in one image. So “Madoka Magica” what are we to do about you? Its kind of hard to explain, but I rather purposefully chose not to watch it for this long. Mostly because I was tired of the hype and the fandom basically pulling an “Evangelion” and acting like no magical girl anime or manga prior to this served emotions. But its presence never really died, this anime is almost a decade old now and people still care. And while I don’t regret not tuning in while it was running, I am very happy to have experienced it on my own terms. It gave me one of my new favorite characters with Homura, its visually stunning and marvelously directed. the music is so enchanting, and the story really is good. I think the show from start to end was a great watch and really kept me going and the bittersweet nature of it did work for me. As far as the movies go I did watch “Rebellion” and while I think its good it does complicate what the message to the series is in my opinion. Either way its just the same as “End of Evangelion” where I don’t see it as canon. I think the big question a lot of people have is if this lives up to the hype and I’m not totally sure how to answer that, but it is an anime worth your time all the same.

This will be easy. I have a review already written out for “Slam Dunk” so if you want my more expanded thoughts there you go. This really is a fantastic anime.

Last year I watched the movie “A Silent Voice”, but failed to put it in my year end review out of pure laziness. I am not making that same mistake again. “In This Corner of the World” is a film I am very grateful to have seen. Its a very interesting take on a WWII story. Not that we haven’t had movies about the war from the perspective of a civilian before, but there is something to the way its approached through our protagonist that feels especially powerful. She experiences so much during those years and tries her best to keep living with keeping her family alive as her main motivation and eventually is met with tragedy. Its produced by a studio called Mappa who’ve gained a lot of attention for “Yuri on Ice” and this year’s “Banana Fish. I did not like those anime very much, but I really loved this film and have to applaud them for trying different types of stories. I hope the projects they have lined up for 2019 are as enjoyable as this. I’ve heard the director has an interest in releasing an extended cut and if that happens I’ll be very interesting in seeing what it offers.

Again I will not make the same mistake twice. “A Silent Voice” was directed by a woman named Naoko Yamada. She also directed “K-On” and “Tamako Market”, two series that made it on my post for last year. She has an incredible talent and in my opinion is the director in anime to watch. After the success of “A Silent Voice” a lot of people wanted to see where she would go and what she gave us is nothing short of amazing. “Liz and the Blue Bird” is a film more people need to pay attention to. Those who’ve seen it adore it, fans have given it very high scores and glowing reviews. But I think this movie needs even more attention beyond that because compared to movies like “Doukyuusei” this feels like it made a smaller splash in the community. Yamada’s approach to love and drama is so effective without being forceful, you really feel for these girls and the longing between them. Yamada is a director who cares deeply for respecting the emotions of her characters which is why she has successfully created so many famous emotional scenes without them feeling melodramatic or feeling staged. This is especially clear with this film where she manages to communicate everything we need to know, but in very few spoken words. And the animation as one expects from a Kyoani project is just lovely. It also manages to work very strongly with its blue toned color palette. So many people make these blue toned movies look dreary, but not here. Things still have a brightness to them and even a warmth. I feel very lucky I was able to see this movie this year when so many anime films take so long to be made available elsewhere. When it reaches the US on bluray I am definitely buying it.

When it comes to the seasonal TV anime for the year, this was my favorite.”Sora yori mo Tooi Basho“ or “A Place Further than the Universe” is a very interesting installment in the “cute girls do blank” genre of anime. Here its cute girls go to the arctic. It sounds like a weird premise to a show, but when you see it put into practice its impressive how much you feel invested in these girls and what they’re doing. Its directed by a woman named Atsuko Ishizuka who was once identified as one of the great talents at the famed studio Madhouse. I think, like Yamada, she manages to work within these character heavy stories while avoiding any unnecessary melodrama. A lesser director would have made some scenes so cheesy or so over the top sad and that can take you right out of the experience. At first I was unsure of how big of a hit this anime would be given how many huge shows came out this year, but its managed to top the bluray sales in Japan for quite a while now. I feel really happy it became such a success. People say the cute girl sub genre is played out and that if you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all, that is not true. Sometimes you need a talented director, an off the cuff premise, and you can get something fresh out of a genre that sometimes over saturates the market.

“Pop Team Epic” is an anime the like of which we’ve never seen before. And we will never get it again. A lot of people have said that in order to understand or get the jokes you have to know what it is they’re parodying and that really is not true. This isn’t referential humor like in “Gintama” where the impact of the joke relies on you knowing that material. If you don’t know "Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure” you won’t get it when Gin references Joseph and Caesar’s training with Lisa Lisa. Here the approach to the comedy is so surreal that if you don’t know the reference it just registers as a bizarre thing they did. Sure I know they referenced things like “Hikaru no Go”, but someone who doesn’t would just think its “Pop Team Epic” being weird again. And if you do know what they’re referencing then you know the layers to the joke. The anime is also in a lot of ways very visually strong to the point of being almost avant-garde. It was expensive and time consuming to make even if people don’t realize it. All of these different animation styles, the mixed media approach to certain scenes. They even brought in Miyo Sato, the woman who does the paint on glass animation for “Mob Psycho 100″, to work on the show for a few segments. To a lot of people this show was a meme, but in a lot of ways I think it was doing more than that. We’re not going to get another season or anything out of it, but I’m happy something this strange was able to exist and grab hold of such a large scale audience.

I have an in depth analytical review out for "Berserk”, if you would like to read such a thing there it is. However it does contain spoilers. My unspoiled and condensed opinions are that its fantastic, with gorgeous art, well developed and amazing characters, and tons of soul. Its very intense and not exactly for everyone, but its definitely a masterpiece. Unfortunately it also has a very foul fandom which turned me off reading it for years. I genuinely expected my review to garner a lot of negative feedback given how this fandom is, to my surprise this never happened though. If you can remove the toxic fandom from the equation, which is surprisingly easy to do, then you’re golden. Also this is a romantic manga and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise because they’re cowards.

“Golden Kamuy” is fantastic as a manga. I watched the anime too, but I feel like that works best treated like a companion piece to the manga. I’ve best described the plot as “One Piece” meets “Silence of the Lambs”. This is also something that probably comes closest to evoking the same kind of strangeness that “Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure” has. The best way I can put it is that characters will say things that are weird, but nobody acts like they’re weird. There is also a lot of information fed to the reader about aspects of the Ainu culture and hunting and weaponry. At first it feels as if you’re being given a lot of information on topics that aren’t going to be important, but they end up having more significance than you realize. The same applies to the characters. I was surprised at how many characters I expected to be left behind were made relevant later on. And they’re memorable. Sugimoto, Asirpa, Shiraishi, Ogata, Tsurumi, Tanigaki, even that little girl Osoma was memorable. One thing the story really excels at is how you have a large amount of characters chasing the same prize, but with their own reasons. Nobody loses sight of their own motivation, some we still haven’t learned their true gain in all of this, and we see how this effects the flow of the plot. For such a large cast this would under a different writer feel very cluttered, but not here. And visually the manga looks amazing. Noda’s art is a little odd at first, but when you really look at it he’s got a lot of talent. Everyone looks distinct, the backgrounds look great, the animals look good (we’re not gonna discuss the anime’s CGI). If I had to recommend just one I’d say the manga as the anime does skip material, some due to networks being incapable of showing such things others honestly feel skipped because they wanted to streamline the plot at the expense of characterization and world building. I do still recommend taking in both as this sort of bundle deal though because the anime really is entertaining and has such a strong seiyuu cast it would be a shame to pass it by completely.

Takehiko Inoue is an absolute master at this stage in his career. In an interview with Akira Toriyama he was called someone with a real sense for manga and its amazing to see how he went from “Slam Dunk,” where he had not yet drawn a bare foot, to something like “Vagabond”. The art in this manga is deserving of all the praise it gets, its so detailed that it just leaves you stunned. The story also shows just how on point he is as a writer. I’m sure through the many movies and shows about Musashi Miyamoto a lot of Japanese audiences have a certain way they tend to view him and then here comes Inoue offering a different approach to the man. One where he is still working towards an enlightened state and trying to reign in an animalistic rage. Working in themes of being the strongest under the sun, what it means to live for the sword, how these choices effect the people left behind, its really fascinating stuff. There’s even an entire long stretch of chapters where we break away entirely from Musashi to focus on a young Kojiro and his adoptive father, its a very sudden break away yet it doesn’t feel random or jarring. I think because Inoue knows how to craft compelling characters so effortlessly it made that shift in focus work as well as it did. Its one of the most successful manga in terms of sales and with good reason, its a masterpiece. This is one of those manga that currently is on an indefinite hiatus and I can only hope Inoue is able to finish it. And if for whatever reason he can’t then at least we can say we got what we got.

Behold your new shonen king! Not Izuku, not Hinata. Open your arms for the next great shonen! “Dr. Stone” is a manga that at the moment doesn’t have the largest of audiences, but everyone I know who’s read it absolutely loves it. And with the anime being released next year I can only hope that will be the push that people need to experience it. The story is focused very heavily on innovation and discovery which feels so fresh compared to a lot of things Weekly Shonen Jump has been producing as of late. And the level to which things have been thought out really impresses me. In recent chapters it was revealed that in that period of time humanity was petrified the terrain has changed drastically and the maps from the past are now worthless. So that means finding a way to survey the land and get a better sense of the world. Its so exciting to read this sort of thing. And the characters are so fun. Senku is a very interesting character to place at the center of this story. He’s a genius and approaches things as logically as possible, sometimes he can be a jerk and self serving, but he’s always going to do what he can to further civilization because he just loves science that much. Chrome is a really funny character to bounce off of him. We recently were introduced to a new member of the cast that has great potential. I like Asagiri. Its written by the same mangaka behind “Eyeshield 21″ and while I have not read that I can say through this manga that he’s really got a great sense of story telling. I also really like Boichi’s art, he pulls out some hilarious extreme faces and also some really dynamic scenes. Next summer can’t come fast enough because I am so hyped and ready for this anime to start.

“Kimetsu no Yaiba” is another manga that will be getting an anime next year and I am extremely excited. If I had to compare it to anything I would honestly say its like if “Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood” and “Hunter x Hunter” got crossbred. Its mangaka Koyoharu Gotouge really feels very influenced by Yoshihiro Togashi in both her writing as well as some of her character designs. Togashi actually said this manga along with “Dr. Stone” is one of the ones in recent years to read which I’m sure made her thrilled to hear. I feel like this is something that does a lot of the things people generally want to see in anime and manga. You have a strong sibling dynamic at the center of the story (and it isn’t one of those relationships), there’s female characters that are involved with the action and its treated like a real fight, there’s themes of family that are always really endearing, aesthetically its very beautiful while still being able to pull off a more intense body horror style moment, fanservice aside from a couple moments is at a minimum, and it is also very funny. There’s a lot of personality to our main characters as well as the Pillars that we have gotten to know and it doesn’t feel crowded. She knows when to use a character and when to keep them out of a certain arc. She also has a lot of respect towards Nezuko who I feel another writer would have shoved aside in favor of her brother. But Nezuko is shown to still retain her autonomy in spite of her predicament, she fights and is sometimes vital to defeating a demon, and the more recent events in the story show a lot of potential for furthering her as a character. The anime is to be released for the spring and its made by Ufotable, based on the PV we have at the moment this show will definitely be gorgeous. I am very excited for what they’ve done with this material and I can only hope other people will be watching too because I do not want this to be a series people sleep on.

“Revolutionary Girl Utena” is a masterpiece. I have frankly a really complicated opinion of Kunihiko Ikuhara. A lot of people think he can do no wrong, I am not one of them. There’s things that happened with “Sailor Moon” that I know weren’t his fault, but there’s also things that happened during S where he had the most control over the project that still bother me. I can never know for sure if these were his ideas or things Toei forced onto him as he did leave the show because of a lack of freedom to do what he wanted, but that said when he really commits to a project he can produce something amazing. He has said many things over the years regarding Utena and a big takeaway from them is that he does not want to tell us what to feel, he wants us to decide for ourselves. I think what Utena fundamentally is about is deconstructing romantic tropes, analyzing chivalry, and the lies men tell women. The series gets more complex and symbolic as it progresses until we get to the movie “Adolescence of Utena” where its refusing to hold your hand any step of the way. Unlike with “End of Evangelion” or “Madoka Rebellion” the “Adolescence” movie is not an attempt at a different ending, but more of an alternative retelling of the story. Its a pure visual masterpiece and a movie that I honestly think deserves to be seen with or without the TV show. That said I would strongly recommend both of them as not only is it one of the greatest shojo ever, it is also Ikuhara at his finest. Moo.

[sunflower-le-tournesol]

CCS/CCSCC Prologue/CCSCC/CCS: The Sealed Card Discrepancies?

Firstly, I have not read the manga, and I imagine some of these could be explained if I read the manga.

Secondly, I’m sure I missed a few things because I am definitely doing this from memory. I’ll come back to it. 

Confessions:

CCS: Syaoran confesses directly after the final battle. The next day it’s super awkward. Syaoran doesn’t tell Sakura he’s leaving. She finds out from Tomoyo. She runs to the airport, but she doesn’t know what to say. She asks Syaoran if she can have the brown bear. 

CCSCC Prologue: Syaoran doesn’t confess until after school the next day. Sakura goes to take him a souvenir from Mizuki, and he tells her he’s leaving.  She gets really upset (Eriol also told her to think about how differently she felt when he left vs. when Syaoran leaves). Sakura recognizes her feelings, buys the kit for the pink bear, and sets to work. (The brown bear is already in her room; she says Syaoran left it?) She catches him at the bus station and gives him the pink bear. She tells him he’s her number one. 

CCSCC: Flashback shows Syaoran handing Sakura the brown bear in the airport. More similar to CCS. Then where does the pink one come from? 

CCS: The Sealed Card: Sakura still hasn’t confessed to Syaoran. She doesn’t confess until after the battle. 

Tl;dr: When/where did Syaoran confess? When/where did Sakura see him off? When/where did Sakura give her answer? 

Tokyo Tower/Tsukimine Shrine: 

The final battle in CCS takes place at the Tsukimine Shrine, but the way the characters reference it in CCSCC makes it sound like it was at Tokyo Tower? (probs a manga thing?)

Eriol’s Involvement:

CCS: Eriol doesn’t come to school the day after the final battle. Terada tells the class Eriol will go back to England the next day. Sakura, Syaoran, and Tomoyo go to visit Eriol at his home, where his crew has prepared tea and sweets to celebrate and explain. During this segment, the audience learns that Yukito/Touya and Sakura/Syaoran’s relationship surprised him. 

CCSCC: Eriol is at school, but they announce he’s leaving. Eriol tells Sakura to think about how she feels about him leaving, and then compare the feelings she has when someone *ELSE* leaves. Very direct involvement here, Eriol. Sakura and Tomoyo go to visit him the next morning to see him off... 

There’s more, but I’ll stop here for now. We do know that Sealed Card is considered canon, and Eriol’s house was torn down to build the theme park; however, in CCSCC the house is there, and Akiho lives in it. This is even acknowledged by characters in later episodes. 

So something super weird is going on. 

Again, some of it could probably be explained by the manga, but not all of it? 

[petals42]

Can you please do some more Kent/chowder friendship body swap bc if you write like anything at all I will die happy

this is going to be an Unorganized Mess because i’m doing it right before bed because WHY NOT but here. [Note: You gotta have read this post first to make sense of this.]

So, like, as mentioned, I really want this friendship to develop after they switch back but the question is like... how?? 

In my last post I talked about how Parse would send Chowder nicer clothes (and sheets because wtf is that thread count christopher??) but i think this happened because-- wait lets go back

Okay so Chowder gets to go to the Aces/Sharks game and go backstage (not the right word for that but lets just move on) and meet people so while he is obviously ALL UP IN THE SHARKS, he introduces his family also to Kent as “and this is my friend, Kent Parson” and admist the confused stares (coming from both his family and Kent Parson), Chowder is just like “we met at Samwell!!”

And Kent Parson, who is never really referred to as a friend (more a teammate, tbh, or “ex” or “celebrity crush) has like acquired some sort of blushing instinct (he blames his time in Chowders body) because he sort of blushes and stammers (JUST A LITTLE OKAY) before finding his cool again and--

“Oh, also,” Chowder tells his little sister. “You gotta feel that inside of that sweater-- it is like SO SOFT.” and so that is actually where Kent gets his first idea to send Chowder nicer clothes (the expensive CASHMERE clothes yaknow... (sidebar: is cashmere soft? i don’t... actually know things about nice clothes)) 

But he doesn’t do it right away because like.. c’mon he’s not going to seem desperate here. He’s Kent Parson. He... they switched bodies for a little. Surely Chowder doesn’t actually want to... be his friend. 

WRONG.

Because Chowder gets on a flight and heads back to Samwell and Kent Parson gets back to Vegas (and snuggles Kit) and THEN Kent Parson gets a text.

And that text is chirping him. Hard. For his coding notes.

“Lol. Dude. Really?? These don’t even make sense!”

“I told you I was bad at it! You’re lucky I tried.”

“It looks like you gave up halfway through and started doodling hockey plays.”

“... that is actually supposed to be some zeros and ones?? he wrote them on the board??”

“holy shit.”

and suddenly kent parson finds himself sort of smiling and laughing at his phone and he would say it is one conversation but then he gets a GOOD LUCK! text before his next game and then a bunch of texts DURING the game that he sees after and then-

Then he gets a “Remember to ice your shoulder!!!” the next day and, okay, yes, it’s weird that this guy has BEEN IN HIS BODY and thus knows that his shoulder bothers him but its also... its also nice??

So Kent Parson says fuck it. And he sends Chowder that sweater he liked so much. Because Chowder is being really nice to him and he... okay he will try to have a friend. 

Note: Kent Parson trying to have a friend is a Disaster. because Kent Parson knows his weaknesses: He is bad at emotional conversations, he cannot give relationship advice, he is sarcastic and rude and-- he is not good at being Friends with someone. Chowder’s natural friendliness is something he can appreciate but has difficulty reciprocating.

But you know what he does have?

Money.

Lots and lots of money. 

And no one to spend it on.

Until now. 

Kent Parson cannot say “Thank you for wishing me good luck before my games” so he buys Chowder fancy sweaters and t-shirts and fashionable pants and sends them on over. Kent Parson cannot say “It is cool you remind me to ice my shoulder” so he also sends new sheets (accompanied by pseudo-snide remarks such as “so i dont have to lay on that sandpaper if we ever have to switch back”). Kent Parson cannot tell Chowder that texting him during the day has become something of a highlight but he CAN buy chowder that coding software he was going on about and e-mail him the product key and he also can get people on the Sharks to sign stuff and mail it to Chowder and, look, he knows that getting Chowder’s family season tickets to the sharks game would be Too Much (at least... right now) but he does offer them when chowder goes home for breaks.

Look, as they text more and more, Chowder puts up with his sarcastic sense of humor and dark moods and doesn’t seem to take it personally when kent just texts back ‘yeah whatever’ after loses.

Chowder is just plain nice to him and Kent does his best to follow Chowder’s complaints about school and tries to offer advice when Chowder admits that sometimes he feels torn between Nursey and Dex and their constant bickering and wishes they would both just stop but Kent knows he cannot actually be that helpful. Even when Chowder texts: “gosh its nice to have someone not involved that i can vent to,” kent knows that he is not adding to chowder’s life nearly as much as chowder is adding to his.

With the time difference, Kent now usually wakes up to a few texts from Chowder and Chowder thinks Kit is the devil but still doesn’t mind when Kent sends pictures of her and Chowder... Chowder sometimes ever so casually reminds him that he doesn’t actually need alcohol (”you could just go home dude. wanna play starcraft?”

Oh right. That’s the other thing. Chowder has got him into computer games. Games that they can play together. On the same time. Kent has never done it before and its embarassing to be bad at something but somehow with chowder its not so bad and he’s already promised that after the season, he is going to have much more time to dedicate to it and chowder thinks that they can get really GOOD over the summer and it becomes... their thing

When Nursey and Dex are driving Chowder crazy or Kent is actually free, the two log on and play some nerdy computer game shit (kent’s words. he keeps calling it that even after he admits he "sorta kinda likes it okay??”).

OF COURSE BECAUSE KENT PARSON CANNOT COMMUNICATE, he just keeps SENDING GIFTS. Which Chowder accepts at first, partly because he doesnt really know how much all this shit costs.

Nursey finally clues him in “dude, is that shirt fucking All Saints?” and Chowder is like “uh... what?” and that breaks the mystery and suddenly Chowder is like... wait a minute. this dude has sent me probably over a thousand dollars worth of nice ass clothes (and sheets and towels) all in the name of “In Case We Ever Switch Back.”

Not To Worry: At this point it is Summer Break. Which means that Chowder can just go, meet up with Kent in person and tell him that while he appreciates the gifts, kent should probably stop. They both now know not to wish on any shooting star anymore. They are probably good. 

So Chowder texts Kent something like “dude im home may 22nd-- when are we meeting up over break?” and Kent gets it and lowkey PANICS because like... Chowder wants to hang out with him?? And he can’t even just take him to a hockey game because the season is over?? WHAT WILL THEY DO??

Better to stay on home turf, Kent decides. He can take Chowder out in vegas and they can hit the casinos and maybe he’ll rent a limo and-- “Im free anytime” he texts back, hoping that doesn’t make himself sound lame. “when do you wanna come over?”

And then Kent Parson is thrown for a loop because Chowder ruins his plans by saying “you should come here! i’ll show you non-hockey parts of san jose! first weekend of june?? promise no one will yell at you!!” and kent... well hes not gonna say no obviously but he... he can’t take chowder to casinos if they arent in vegas and--

“Bring your laptop” chowder says. “starcraft IN PERSON”

Look this deserves a 15k fic of its own but picture: Kent Parson, nervous, awkward, feeling a little like he did when he visited the zimmermanns except not because he and chowder are just friends so there’s less... challenge and also he has grown up a little and so its just very embarassing for him and chowder’s whole family is the nicest and he sleeps in the guest room and they just-- They play starcraft. They go see a movie. They walk around Chowder’s favorite park. They drive up to the beach with Farmer. They go to an arcade. Normal people stuff. They do normal people stuff. 

And Chowder sits Kent down and is like “dude you gotta stop sending me presents like some kind of weirdass sugar daddy” and Kent does turn bright red at that one because he was kind of just lowkey hoping chowder didn’t notice but Chowder manages to make it not TOO awkward and then its just sort of a funny and Kent promises to stop (he wont really... chowder gets a new gaming computer for his birthday but kent claims that is because chowders weak ass system is affecting his gameplay but that not til later so thats okay)

MORE SURPRISING is Chowder agrees to come up to vegas to celebrate kent’s birthday on july 4th. Farmer comes for part of it (but she has work) while chowder stays for five whole days and they... they stay in kents apartment and play more computer games. chowder tries to build up kent’s tolerance for spicy food and then laughs at him when he dies. they go play hockey at the rink. they just... hang out. like friends. 

It’s weird and bizzare and THEN TO TOP IT OFF Chowder (who is a wee bit drunk at this point because they aren’t just going to not drink or gamble at all-- chowder had doubled his 40 dollars today!!) says something like “do you think we can switch back again? if we tried?”

and kent (also tipsy, but just like... tipsy. not wasted) says “uh... no?”

and chowder says “LETS TRY” and kent says “why?” and chowder says “FOR FUN” and kent says “alright if you want”

and the two stand and hug and kent thinks “alright switch back” and then he pulls back 

And look into his own face

Which is grinning at him. 

“oh my god” chowder (in kent’s body) says. “This is gonna be so fun.”

ENDING THERE FOR NOW because i’ve got to stop writing this AU. what is this. what is my life. i don’t... i don’t even go here. 

[lexi-the-twilight-dragon]

Sup peeps! Been kinda absent for a while, so I'm just gonna go ahead and post a little drabble I wrote on my lunch break the other day

PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE

Of course. The first time since joining Freelancer he's had the time, the nerve, or even the means to call his family, and he gets the goddamn answering machine.

FANDOM: Red vs Blue. Some spoilers for S15 but not S16 bc I haven't watched it yet. RATING: Fluff. WORDS: 971 CHARACTERS: Washington, Tucker, Caboose (mention only), Simmons (mention only), Junior (mention only), OCs

~

The phone receiver is still sitting in his hand. It has been for the last thirty minutes, but he still hasn't dialled.

After the Grif siblings had been reunited after half a decade apart, and Earth was confirmed to still be intact, the other Reds and Blues had gotten the idea of calling their own families. Some calls were heartwarming ("MICHAEL!!" The phone wasn't on speaker, but the woman's voice could be heard loud and clear by all in the room. "Hello Rebecca," said soldier replied, completely undaunted by her volume, "And helloes to Mary, Ruth, Magdalene, Esther, Rachel..."), some were a little awkward ("Dad, your grandson is a goddamn ambassador of peace, AND a kickass basketballer! What's not to love about that?") and some, well... (the cyborg didn't look up from his book, but his jaw hardened. "They don't want to talk to me, and I don't want to talk to them. But thank you for the offer.")

But now the phone sits in his hand, and somehow dialling seems more terrifying than anything he'd faced in the last few years.

Just do it. Get a spine and do it.

He's not sure about the spine part, but he does it anyway.

The dial-tone is nearly torture, as well as listening to his own breath on the line, alone like the breath in his helmet after everyone was gon-

"Hey, you've reached Kitty O'Leary. I'm a little busy right now-"

Of course. The first time since joining Freelancer he's had the time, the nerve, or even the means to call his family, and he gets the goddamn answering machine.

"But leave a message, and I'll get back to you when I can. Bye!"

The machine beeps, and he freezes. He's meant to say something here, but...

"H-Hey, Kitty. I-It's David here. You know, your brother. I know it's been a while since we last spoke... if you can call eight years 'a while'." He can't help but cough slightly, talking becoming a lot harder by the second, and not just from the throat injury.

"Just letting you know: yeah, I am alive, against all odds. Life has been... pretty hectic over the last few years." Well, that was a fucking understatement.

It takes him a second to realize: "Of course, you wouldn't know what I've been up to, since I haven't been called by my name in a while, even after Freelancer fell apart. Chorus? Reds and Blues? D'you get that news? Yeah, I was involved there. With the Reds and Blues. An odd selection of soldiers, but they're not so bad once you get to know them.

"So... this being the answering machine, I'm not going to get any immediate answers, but...how're things? You, Mom, Sharon, Daisy? I mean," he has to pause for a second before he continues, "I haven't seen any of you since high school, so... I dunno, am I an uncle yet? Or some other big family event I've completely missed?"

He pauses again. God this hurts. "Listen, Kitty... I'm sorry. I am so sorry I haven't been there, or called you, or written, or anything for so, so long. It has been a long, long fifteen years and I can't even begin to pretend I'm the same David O'Leary that enlisted at 18." Is he gonna cry? He feels like he's gonna cry. "But I'm here, I'm alive and, fuck, I miss you."

Yup, he's gonna cry. Fuck.

"Anyway, I think that's all I can say for the time being. Say hi to Mom and the others for me, 'kay? Bye Kit, love you."

He hits the button, but his cheeks are already wet.

~

"So how'd it go?"

Tucker, surprisingly, is in the kitchen waiting for him. He'd thought everyone had left for bed already.

He smiles lightly, and hopes it hides the tear marks. "Got the answering machine. Just my luck, huh?

Tucker gives him a sympathetic wince. "Ouch. Who'd you call?"

"My sister. First one I could find a number for."

"She single?"

"Tucker, no."

"At least tell me if she's hot."

"You are not flirting with my sister."

"Oh, c'mon! Why are all the sisters off limits?"

"First of all, she's way out of your league."

"Hey, my league's the sword wielders, if you get me. Bow chicka-"

"Tucker, stop."

~

It takes a mammoth amount of strength and all her sense of tidiness to not drop her bag the second she walks in the door, and at least make it as far as the kitchen counter. God it had been a long day.

Coffee is on in seconds, heels are off in only a few more, and almost as a side thought, the answering machine is deployed.

"YOU HAVE, 3, NEW MESSAGES. FIRST MESSAGE:

"Hi Kitty, it's Miranda. Just letting you know the boss has order a new report to be done by next Thursday. I know. I'll do my best to get my share done ASAP, you just focus on your weekend, hon. See you Monday. Bye." "

She groans loudly. Good god, more paperwork? Her head hurts just thinking about it. Is the coffee ready yet?

"SECOND MESSAGE:

"Hey Kitty Kat! It's Sharon! Just wanting to confirm you're still up for bridal shopping tomorrow. I mean, I am super excited and would love for you to come, but like, I won't drag you out of bed if you really need a sleep in. You know my number, just gimme a ring, yeah? 'Kay, bye." "

She doesn't really have the energy to snort, but as if she'd miss shopping with her bride-to-be sister. She's maid of honor, after all.

Coffee's done, so she gets up from the couch to pour it.

"THIRD MESSAGE:

".........H-Hey, Kitty. I-It's David here. You know, your brother." "

Coffee crashes to the floor.

~

A/N: IM SORRY I CANNOT WRITE INNUENDO BUT BOW CHICKA BOW WOW HAD TO BE IN THERE SOMEWHERE.

Of course 'Kitty' is a cat-guy Wash reference. Obviously.

HEADCANONS:

Wash is confirmed to have "several" sisters, which my brain translates to "three". I contemplated there being twins simply to reference that one line in S4 ("So I hear you got sisters. Bow chicka - who are twins! - bow wow!") but I couldn't make it work for me.

Kitty is the straight-laced eldest, followed by bubbly Sharon, David is only a little younger than Sharon, and Daisy is the wild child youngest. Kitty has a stressful office job she hates, and Sharon is about to get married (and Wash is totally gonna show up and surprise her).

As for O'Leary... a roundabout reference to Shannon McCormick. I don't know if he has any Irish in him, but I myself have McCormicks in my family tree, who were VERY Irish, so I went with the next Irish-y sounding name I thought of.

Because I'm self-indulgent like that.

OH! Almost forgot, Caboose has two biblical names (Michael Jesus) so so do all his sisters.

[avaalons]

Chris Evans Fic: Hiking and Hypocrisy (Chapter 3)

This now has a section in my masterlist and I’ll keep the links updated.

Monday was struggle, Tuesday got a little easier and by Wednesday you were back in the full swing of being a high school teacher. Days were non-stop at school: there was always something happening or something that needed your attention so you didn’t have too much time to think about a certain weekend event cropping up on the horizon.

The kids made you forget all of the frustrations of the weekend too. You really did love your job. Yeah, it was hard work and long hours, and like any humans, teenagers had their bad days, but you did your best to understand that and not be the hard ass, unapproachable teacher everyone outside of teaching assumed you must be. A lot of kids just needed attention, especially if they didn’t get much at home.

So, when one of your students hung back at the end of class on Friday after everyone else had filtered out, your caregiver-sense kicked in and you knew something was wrong. This was one of your best and brightest sophomores, a great young lady with her head screwed on right, and you had a definite soft spot for her. She was confident, sure of herself, wasn’t swayed by the popular crowd but seemed to get on with all her peers.

‘Are you waiting for me, Amber? Everything okay?’

‘Yeah, I just…’ she trailed off, obviously unsure where to start. Now you were looking at her, she seemed pale, dark circles under her eyes, and was missing the usual positive spark she carried with her.

‘Is it school or…?’ You gently tried a couple of questions to get this girl, who clearly had something she wanted to get off her chest. ‘Do you want to sit down?’

She did sit and you rolled your chair around the other side of your desk so it was less formal.

‘School’s fine. It’s not school. Look, can you promise not to tell anyone?’

‘Amber… if it’s something that I feel means you are in danger, I have to pass on my concerns, and you need to know that,’ you always had to be straight to the point with students. Safeguarding the welfare of the students you teach was part of your job.

She shook her head, ‘I’m not in danger. I… uh… you know I have a boyfriend, right?’

You have one slow nod and a small smile to reassure her, ‘I don’t make a habit of getting involved in my students’ love lives but I was aware, yes. He’s a senior, yes?’

‘Yeah. Well, we…,’ she looked down at her hands, picking at her nails and you had a fairly good idea what was coming, ‘…we… you know, did it for the first time last weekend and now I… I don’t know…’

Your ‘safety-first’ instincts kicked in and you had to make sure a few things were okay before you could tackle the emotional side.

‘Okay, well, I just need answers to a couple of questions before we talk more. So, was it consensual? Did you both want to have sex?’

‘Yeah, yeah,’ Amber looked up then, the ice broken now the word ‘sex’ was out in the open. ‘Totally.’

‘Okay, and there wasn’t any pressure or anything?’

‘No, I’d kind of decided a long time ago I think and this weekend… well an opportunity just presented itself.’

You breathed a sigh of relief mentally, knowing that any more sinister possibilities were not on the table here.

‘And you were safe? Birth control pill? Condom?’

‘Both,’ Amber gave a definitive nod. Second sigh of relief. Mentally, of course. It was important to remain neutral in front of students who were disclosing. But in your head: smart girl.

‘All right, so now we’ve got those things out of the way, what did you particularly want to talk about?’

‘I don’t have anyone to talk to it about. I absolutely cannot go to my parents, and I don’t really want anyone at school to know, but I feel like… I don’t know. I’ve just gone from being… me… to being someone that has… sex. Like I’m just supposed to have sex now? All the time? Will I never see my boyfriend again without having sex with him?’

She was starting to talk faster and you felt the need to calm her down.

‘Hey, Amber, breathe. The easy answer to those questions is that you only have sex when you want to have sex. If you never want to have sex again, you don’t have to. There shouldn’t be any expectation there, and if you are ever feeling pressured into it then know that the problem isn’t you and head in the opposite direction.’

‘I know that, I do. I’m smart enough to look after myself and I thought I was ready for that step and now… I just feel so different. Like my identity has changed.’

You could see tears filling up in her eyes and you could tell this had been weighing on her.

‘Amber, you’re still you. You’re still a smart girl. Having sex doesn’t make you less smart, I promise,’ she let out a little laugh at that, ‘And feeling like this doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision or you weren’t ready. Feeling like this is totally normal. Do you feel like you regret it?’

Amber thought for a moment, considering your question.

‘No, I don’t think so. I guess I feel like… like I should regret it.’

You nodded. Jesus, navigating dating and sex was hard enough for teenagers, never mind the whole taboo nature of it, especially for girls. Amber’s biggest problem was not that anything was actually wrong, but that she felt some weird guilt for… there not being anything wrong?

‘If you don’t regret it, you don’t. You don’t have to. In fact, it’s preferable that you don’t! Don’t feel like you should. You’ve made sure it was right for you, and that’s the most important thing. Have you talked to your boyfriend about it?’

She shook her head, ‘I didn’t… want him to think I did regret it or to make a big deal out of it.’

‘Was it his first time too?

She nodded.

‘Then it’s likely he’s feeling the same way, so seeing as you two seem to have been trying to make pretty sensible decisions about most things up to now, I think you should try talking to him about it, don’t you.’

She nodded again, with a smile this time, ‘Thanks. A lot. I didn’t… I didn’t know who to talk to.’

‘Well, you did the right thing by finding someone. Any time you have questions, I’ll be right here, okay?’

‘Thanks. Again. Will you have to report this?’

‘Only to the school counsellor, but I promise no one will ask questions unless you want them to. I’ll continue to be your ‘trusted’ member of staff if you like?’ You put air quotes around trusted, just so it didn’t seem all so formal and like a big deal.

Amber collected her bag from the floor, ‘Yeah, I’d prefer that.’

‘Okay, I’ll set that up. Is there anything else you needed?

‘No, I feel so much better just having got all of that off my chest.’

‘Okay Amber, I’ll see you Monday,’ you called after her as she left through your classroom door.

***

Nina popped her head in at the end of the day, ‘Everything okay today?’

‘Yeah, just had a monster of a day and a student needing some advice.’

‘Like counsellor-report worthy?’ Nina asked, referring to the forms you needed to fill in if a student made a disclosure.

‘Yeah. It’s done though, didn’t take long.’

Nina made a noise of acknowledgement and then moved on to other small talk, ‘Doing anything exciting this weekend?’

‘Uhhh, not much, just hi- oh shit!’

‘What?!’

‘I’m hiking tomorrow with some friends and their kids and I totally forgot about it until now.’

What you really meant was you’d forgotten to tell Chris what he needed to get hold of for it, or tell him where he needed to go for the hike.

‘Day hike or camping out?’ Nina asked as you fish out your phone from your handbag.

‘Just the day. The kids could probably cope with camping now but the adults… not so much. You doing anything good?’

You opened up a new message and began tapping away at a list and a location before selecting ‘Chris E’ and pressing send and dropping the device back in your bag.

‘No, just having a relaxed one this weekend, especially after the mess of the last one.’

‘Oh god, agreed. Fresh air is definitely what I need this weekend!’ You didn’t mention the part about having to see Chris again after your show down last Saturday.

‘Well, have a good one and I’ll see you Monday.’

‘You too, see you Monday,’ you called after Nina as she left.

All that was left was for you to pack your things up and head home, contemplating just how awkward it was going to be tomorrow.

***

You spent your evening packing your bag and preparing a lunch and snacks for the next day. You took a bath and tried to force yourself into a state of calm and rationalise the situation. Yeah, it would be awkward, but nothing really bad would happen. It wasn’t life or death, after all, and you’d have Mackie and Sheletta and the boys there to be buffers, unknowingly of course.

It was only as you were getting ready for bed that you retrieved your phone to put it on charge and remembered that you’d messaged Chris earlier. He hadn’t replied. Maybe you wouldn’t even see him tomorrow after all. He won’t have had time to get his kit together. You thought nothing of it and settled down to get a good night’s sleep, needing lots of energy for tomorrow’s activities.

But sleep didn’t come easily and you started checking the weather for the next day for the millionth time, praying that heavy rain would stop the plans going ahead, but no, wall to wall sunshine. And eventually, inevitably, you found yourself typing ‘Chris Evans’ into Google.

***

When your alarm went off the next morning, you were groggy, on your back with your phone on your chest. You must have fallen asleep during your Googling session. You’d had weird dreams that flowed into one another, sometimes featuring Chris but he was always kind of watery and just out of reach, but you knew he was always laughing at you, then other times about Amber, but it wasn’t actually her - your subconscious knew it was but she had someone else’s face. Her comments about losing her identity had irked you a little you thought, now that you’d mulled it over in your dreams. Was she right in some way? Did your identity change? Did that decision making process of who you chose to sleep with cause some shift in your character? Amber was just a young woman, at the very beginning of her life, had sex once, and even she had those fears. It lead you to uncomfortable memories from the past that you’d long since buried.

You shook it off, determined to put those strange thoughts from your mind, and set about methodically preparing for your day, remembering that you were the most experienced hiker in a group of adults and children, so both their safety and their enjoyment mainly lay with you.

Certain you had everything you needed, you set off in your car for the meeting point and the start of the trail. The day was gorgeous: blue skies, just a couple of non-threatening fluffy clouds hanging delicately in the air, and the sun was warm but not sweltering. There was a slight, freshening breeze and conditions were perfect. You’d checked the weather again before you left, just to make sure there hadn’t been any changes and had decided that today would actually be fun. It would be what you made it, right? So if you were having fun, there would be no room for irritation or exasperation.

It was a good hour’s drive to the start of the trail. There were closer trails but this one was the best for a day hike. It was a good eight hours and had fairly well maintained paths, so was suitable for first timers and the kids, plus it had lots of impressive scenery and, your favourite part, some of the way was down the side of a gorge with the most beautiful river flowing through. You’d been coming here for a long time, and despite a break of about three years where you didn’t dare touch your feet to the ground here, you did eventually come back, like a bird returning to its nest, and you felt like you could breathe again.

You pulled into the small gravel parking spot that had been fashioned to avoid the hikers having to park on the road and saw that the Mackies’ car wasn’t here yet, just a couple of other cars with a few people gathered around them, loading up for their own hikes. Having chosen a space and put the car in park, you hunted out your phone to see if you’d heard from Mackie or Sheletta and what you saw there made your heart plummet.

Sheletta: Hey honey, I know you’ll be driving so I didn’t want to call but the boys have come down with the worst stomach flu and we won’t be able to make it to the hike today. They’re disappointed but they’ve just got no energy and I’m worried they’d get dehydrated. I know this won’t stop you going though so enjoy yourself without us holding you back! See you soon beautiful xxx

The initial sting of disappointment ebbed away as you realised Letta was right: you did this by yourself all the time anyway. But the second you’d finished reading, there was a tap at your window and you snapped your head towards of the source of the noise, and what you saw there just made your heart plummet all over again.

Chris. In stupid sunglasses and a stupid cap (Guns n Roses? Really?). Of course. Of course he would still be here.

You wound the window down somewhat reluctantly but still feeling a little guilty for the scene you’d made last weekend.

‘I take it you’ve got Sheletta’s message?’ was the first thing he said. Not so much as a hello. But you weren’t really at the ‘small talk’ stage in your acquaintance, you supposed.

‘Yep, just now. Stomach flu.’

Chris nodded, ‘Weird. They seemed fine yesterday.’

He saw them yesterday?

‘I suppose it’s just one of those sudden things. Or a twenty four hour bug. Or a bout of food poisoning.’

Chris’ brow furrowed at the last suggestion, ‘Oh god, I hope not. I took them out for dinner last night.’

He what now? What was he doing taking the Mackie boys out for dinner on a Friday? And, more to the point, did their parents really think he was suitable company for their kids?

‘Nothing to be done about it now. Annoying for you that you drove all this way though. Guess you’re not short of things to do on a Saturday though, right?’ You brushed him off, ready for him to get out of here so you could begin your day.

‘Are you going home too?’ His head cocked to one side in that annoying way he liked, it felt like he was weighing you up every time he did it.

‘And waste this beautiful day? No way. I’m ready for a hike so I’ll do it.’

‘I was hoping you’d say that,’ he grinned, ‘I’m coming with you.’

And before you could respond, he’d disappeared from your window. You scrabbled to unbuckle yourself from the seatbelt and almost fell out of the car in your hurry. Looking around for him, you spotted him over the other side of the parking lot, just about to open his trunk. You broke out into a run just as he opened it and a beautiful red and white dog emerged from within. Chris caught his lead as he hopped down into the gravel. The sight of you running caught Chris’ eye and he turned towards you.

‘I brought my dog, you see, and you wouldn’t want to let him down now, would you? Meet Dodger,’ he gestured towards him, knowing he’d played his cards right.

You knelt down instantly, unable to resist such a happy canine, and he launched himself at you, overjoyed to have a new friend to say hello to. You ruffled the fur around his face, and tickled him under his chin, laughing when he stilled and stretched his neck up to get the most out of it.

‘He’s gorgeous. You had him from a pup?’ You asked, genuinely interested.

‘No, he’s a rescue. I couldn’t resist him.’

Chris Evans adopts rescue dogs, apparently. Today was just full of surprises.

‘He’s got a lovely nature for a rescue,’ you conceded, because he did and you knew that wasn’t always the case with rescues.

‘Well, it took some work at the beginning, and he was a little shy and timid, and basically shook for a week, but you’d never know it now,’ Chris explained.

‘No… definitely not,’ you didn’t look up at him, transfixed as you were on the dog.

Eventually though, you remembered where you were and who you were with and stood up.

‘Look Chris, I appreciate you came all the way out here with Dodger and everything but we were only being thrown together because of Mackie and he’s not here so…’

You trailed off when you saw Chris pulling a large backpack out of his trunk and shouldering it, tin water bowl hanging from one side.

‘Nah, I’m coming with you,’ he spoke confidently, definitively.

‘But… but why?’ You could hear the pitch of your voice getting higher as he closed his trunk.

He leant forward towards you and spoke lowly, ‘Firstly, like I told you, I love getting outdoors and wanted to do the whole hiking thing. Secondly, my dog’s here expecting some good exercise and I’m not about to be the worst dog dad in the world by showing him all this forest and greenery and then packing him back in the car and returning him to the city. Thirdly, because you’re determined not to like me, and I’m determined to make you see that I’m not what you think I am.’

He let that sink in for a moment, leaving you to ponder his words as he adjusted Dodger’s collar before continuing.

‘Plus, I think Mackie’s Parent Trapped us and he’s clearly gone to a lot of effort to pull this off so I think I owe it to him to carry it out. Besides, I didn’t want to pull this card but I did lie for you and told Mackie you were a pretty cool girl once you let your guard down,’ he began walking back towards your car, little rust bucket that it was compared to his sleek, shiny number, ‘Come on Dodge, let’s go help the nice lady with her bag.’

You could do nothing but scamper after him in bewilderment as he whistled, a picture of cool nonchalance. Was this guy just a serious glutton for punishment? If so, there were probably a few things he need to talk to his therapist about.

He clearly wasn’t going anywhere so you were just going to have to spend the day ignoring him and enjoying your walk alone. You had your headphones, you could just soundtrack your walk with your favourite music and pretend he wasn’t there. He’d probably get bored after an hour anyway and want to turn back, at which point you’d send him back in the right direction and continue on your merry way.

So you opened your trunk, grabbed your things and locked up, slamming the doors a little more forcefully than entirely necessary, and headed towards where the path begun without so much as a word to Chris. If he was going to insist on doing this, you didn’t need to make it a comfortable experience for him. Just as you reached the start, you spun around to find Chris and Dodger following you obediently.

‘Just for the record, what I think is that you’re a spoiled, egotistical brat who thinks everyone should be grateful for your mere presence and who can’t take no for an answer, so up to now, you’re doing a stellar job of proving me one hundred per cent right.’

You took a deep breath and turned on your heel, seeing the path stretching out ahead of you. It was going to be a long day.

‘You haven’t locked your car up,’ you threw over your shoulder, words still clipped and angry. You might not like the guy but you wouldn’t wish having a car stolen on anyone.

‘It locks itself when I’m far enough away with my key. It’s got a sensor,’ he called back from behind you.

You paused and shook your head slightly, closing your eyes to remember to breathe before cursing under your breath, ‘Of course it fucking does.’

[nhlhoser]

On The Rocks - 14

Part 13      Masterlist

Word count: 2662

Gameday.

My favorite kind of day, the energy is different-it's hopeful, positive and full of adrenaline with all the guys preparing for the game going through the rituals and exercises. The music-heavy bass and beat and extremely loud, someone the guys getting riled and moving was other are in the zone.

Auston Matthews is one of those 'in the zone' guys, quiet and visualizing. When he has his headphones on during his private stretch session after the Morning skate, is where he really gets zoned it. I accidentally witnessed this routine when I was helping set up the therapy rooms with Toad this morning.

Auston was the only player left in the dressing room, in his under armor and loose shorts, practically doing the splits stretching over both legs one by one, testing his mobility for each side. To no Surprise, he has more flexible going left, his shooting side, over his right.

I didn't stay long because it felt like I was invading a very private moment, his eyes closed hands twitching like he's stuck handling like he was in a play. It looked like he was at peace, this was his happy time. With that in mind, I high-tailed it out of there before he could see me.

As expected could be William is moving hype kind of guy, he's always moving and twitching on game day and only increases as the day progresses but as soon as his skate blade hits the ice he's in the zone and calm like Auston. Mitch is quiet on game days, he limits his talking to Auston and his words limited as he goes through his routine which, I don't even know because he does it privately like Auston than got playful during the warm-up.

I have become sorta involved in a couple rituals now if it's a pre-game massage or even just have too high five me, the guys are weird. Morgan is funny with his, he insisted that he plays better if he gets a shoulder massage right after his pre-game name, last night after he got the game-winning goal, I started to believe his ritual wasn't as crazy as I thought.

"I told you so Amelia, you doubted but look what happened last night! Game-winning GOOOOAL," Morgan has cheered with his hand on my shoulders shaking me as we laughed, Stephanie rolling her eyes but still laughed at us have been witness to a majority of the Pre-game massages in my living room.

Now that 2 and half hours until game time, Toad and another athletic trainer are trying to convince Frederick Anderson to let them assess his shoulder and neck have been the spot of concern recently after a game against Buffalo.

"I am fine," the Dutch goalie ground out visibly and audibly annoyed with the concerned staff. Both men unconvinced and about to continue before I swoop in.

"I think we should let him decide, the team doctor said he was fine, It's his body he knows best," I said carefully to my relief the trainers nodded and retreated to medical staff offices.

"Hopefully they'll leave you alone, but if it does bother you please say something," I pleaded to the way tall and wide Dutchmen who face is unreadable, but his eyes aren't as narrower and lighter.

"I just know I am ready! and It just felt like my word wasn't enough for them, I know they are looking out for my Health but man I need space," I was shocked at the usually tight-lipped man I front of me who just laid his problems out. Frederick must have realized he'd said more in the last 5 minutes than the past few weeks, a red hue blossomed on his pale face as an awkward crook smile appeared.

"Wow, been holding that for a while now," He breathed, running his hands through his short ginger locks, his shoulders not as tensed now too.

"Well, I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to say it, if you need anything let me know," I squeezed his shoulder as he nodded.

"Goodluck," I said quickly over my shoulder with a wave before I followed to where the trainer and Toad was working on someone's thigh, someone being William Nylander in only tight athletic shorts, unfazed is how I look but dying is how I am on the inside because he's a professional athlete with the body to match, a dumb grin graced his face before he winced again with a groan.

"Beaner, be nice to me, man" William teased the older massage therapist who only rolled his eyes before digging his fingers into the probably knotted muscles of Williams' thigh.

"Well if you stretched a little more after working out you wouldn't need this," Toad scolded with a smirk, as Will sat making faces at the back of Toads face, I had to hold my hand over my face and cough to hide my laugh.

"Be nice you two," I have pretended to scold the pair, I flicked the bottom of Williams' foot- the one not attached to the leg Toad working on, his leg coming up on reflex because I purposely hit a pressure spot, earning a glare from William.

"I help you yesterday and this how you repay me," William mocked a godfather voice, referring to car shopping yesterday.

"Actually it Was Kasperi who helped me," I corrected gently working my fingers on his calf.

"Well, you wouldn't have had dear Kappy if I wasn't with him," William chirp childishly sticking out his tongue but regretting when I dug my fingers into the sensitive flesh behind his knee, earning a yelp as he bit his tongue.

"Hey, now it's not my fault I don't have his number or I would text him too," I defend ignoring the glare I earned from Will for cause him a sore tongue.

"Whatever" He whined as Toad was finished up with his treatment on the thigh before whipping of the lotions and oils, meaning William was getting his leg taped- his hairy leg. I stifle a laugh when William realized the fate of Physio tape in his future.

"That shit hurts, I don't want it," William groaned as Toad laughed evilly whipping his thigh with rubbing alcohol to completely remove the oils.

"Well, sucks to suck," I said patting his shoulder before grabbing a roll of beige Physio tape and handing it over to the trainer coming into taking over for Toad, leaving William to the hands of said trainer not missing the glare from the blonde hockey player.

You could definitely hear the crowd in the hall but once you're in the change room you could only hear Mike Babcock as he talks to his team preparing them for this game, hyping them up to play. I sat in the medical staff room on massage stool, the trainers are all rushing around cleaning up the leftover tape and whatever was used on the players and whisper with the lead trainer very rapidly, something was up.

"Why is half of the staff running around like they lost their heads?" I asked Toad when he enters the room with a leafs windbreak in his hand and a shy smile.

"That's why I'm here, one the trainers broke his hand this morning and now they're short-staffed, and I may have already said you could fill in," My jaw dropped but was shut because the coat in his hand was tossed into my face before he continued. "You'll be paid double, as you'd be doing two jobs, all you have to do is follow instructions you'll just be standing in the tunnel," Todd smiled well patting my back with force to move my now grumpy ass toward the door as I pull the jacket on, an older short guy came over with a first aid fanny pack in hand.

"Thank you, It's league rule to have a certain amount of medical staff on duty and Bean over here doesn't have the certifications like yourself, Have you done anything like this before? Oh dear, I am Paul Ayotte by the way," The graying man said all in a single breath before sticking out his hand that I shook.

"Well, I was the athletic trainer for my brothers Lacrosse team if that counts," I said hesitantly as we walked towards where the players are getting ready, now 15 minutes until they have to go on the ice.

"Hmmm...what league? Because lacrosse is quite similar in pace and some equipment," Paul noted with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Junior A in Brampton and A.L.L in Toronto during the winter," I racked my brain to make sure this is correct, a shocked look crossed his face.

"Oh big boys, you'll fit in here just fine then!" The small man cheered entering the room of the players and drawing the attention of Mike Babcock and point at me with a thumbs up but he also drew the attention of all the guys into the room, my face and neck going red instantly.

"OF COURSE IT'S AMELIA TO THE RESCUE!" Mitch chirps coming up to ruffle my hair with his gloved hand, I do nothing to stop him just fake pouted well-making eye contact with Auston who's shaking out his shoulders before sending the smallest of smiles that if I had of blinked I would've missed it.

"Let's go, guys!" Calls out a hyped up Matt Martin leading the way out to the sliding doors of the Leafs dressing room.

"Goodluck!" I fist bumped Mitch simply as Morgan passes fist bump him up, down and blow it up to bring it back and dap, something we did a bit ago to make fun of Mitch.

"HA! We have a handshake, official besties," Mo booped my nose as I rolled my eyes pushing him towards where the guys were going out the door in their usual order, some moving faster and louder than others.

 When all the players were out the medical staff followed, it was weird going out towards the loud arena, chills run up my spine, it was a great feeling.

"You should stand here, oh crap put this in your ear," A nameless person said to stick the earpiece in my eye and putting the walkie on my belt as she guildes me to be right behind Curtis before disappearing down the hall.

"Amelia Channel 1 during the game, 2 if a leaf goes down, 3 for the other team," Paul said as he was passing me to his spot behind the bench giving me a thumbs up and I him. Adjusting the earpiece and turn on the walkie I can hear nothing until Paul's voice rings through going over what to do during the game, I nod along as I adjust everything on my hip, I now have the first aid kit and Gatorade towel on my left hip, the walkie on my right but the earpiece in my left ear.

"-Amelia if you see something off about a player heath that they are hiding radio it, not just the leafs either, we're part of concussion spotters protocol, it's jersey color and number," I turned to make eye contact with Paul before nodding,"

I got into the routine easy if a player needed help I helped, very simple. It was middle of the 3rd period and a Tampa player got hit cleanly in the corner but he tripped as Polak as finishing a hit and the player continued to the opposite end of the ice, I watched him skate it was staggered and the slightest bit wobbly.

"White. 21. Hit to the head," I called now looking away from #21 bolts as he made it to the bench wobbling, the call worked its way through both benches and the Lightning's head trainer was huddled with the assistant coach watching the hit before they made it to the head coach who instantly nodded, all well the assistant trainer and player were talking before they head to the locker rooms.

"Good call," Paul looked sparing a brief smile before his eyes were back on the ice.

They lost 4-1, Todd and I were busy massaging out the muscles of players before shooing them to an ice bath or just out of the room. The mood after a loss is definitely a lot different than the pre-game, the hope is gone and spirits gone. Guys get their shit and leave or some linger around for each other, some already watching game tapes.

I was working on a moping Mitch's shoulder to avoid cramping and soreness because his dumbass blocked a shot, as a player goo but as a human dumb. I massaged the muscles with enough pressure to release's the knots and prompting unpleasant groans from the boy.

"I hate you right now," Mitch deadpanned his face down in the table, I only could muster a tired nose exhale as I continued the assault of his shoulder muscles my fingers slightly aching as I worked on half the team on the bench as well as after the game. Paul used my massage skills to the team's advantage as I could massage cramps out right there on the bench making the recovering time faster for the guys.

"Did you drive here?" Mitch asked once he was sitting up stretching out his joints, a lot easier now.

"Yeah," I sighed out starting the clean my station up around Mitch as he did his thing.

"Good, can you give me a ride? I told Stephanie I come over but I spaced before and came with Aus," Mitch admitted shyly I shrugged nodding too tired to talk. Mitch smiled going back into the other room as i busied myself with cleaning and Texting Steph about what happened on the ice and that I'll be delivering her boytoy.

Mitch fell asleep in the car and I was jealous, we had hit some weird traffic on the Gardiner Expressway which was kind of weird because it was almost midnight, I could feel an episode of road rage wash over me, I just wanted to go home. My knuckles were white with how hard I was gripping the stirring wheel, all the times I should have had a nap today go over in my head but I don't dwell because it only makes me more tired. When we finally get off the highway on to lakeshore and I could see my building I let out a cheer that sounded dreadful and woke Mitch up from his 40-minute nap.

"AH, I could've sworn you lived closer? Why did it take so long?" He yawned as I finally pulled into my complex and making my way to the underground.

"Traffic," I grunted putting my car into park, not waiting for Mitch I got my things and was halfway to the elevator before he was even out of the car and silently falling me up the rest of the way to the apartment.

Both walking like the dead we entered the Apartment to an energetic Steph a glass of red wine in hand and a takeout box of food outstretched towards us, Mitch goes for the food but she pulls back and shakes her head with a laugh.

"Yours is on the table, this here is for Hawkeye over here," The smaller girl teased placing the warm Italian food from the bistro just downstairs, but also the Wine. Instantly I chugged the alcoholic beverage as if it was regular grape juice.

"Ah, thank you. I am taking this with me" I said referring to the food, "and please don't disturb me unless someone dies," I grumbled dragging myself and belongs past the cuddly couple who migrated to the couch well I was drinking the wine, grabbing a water I was up to the stairs after brief goodnights.

I ate, showered and fell asleep naked.   

The best way to sleep in fresh sheets.

NEXT

[forthemultiverse]

Jason Todd x Reader - Time - Finale

Part One , Two , Three , Finale

- You had been seeing Jason a lot recently. Just as friends.

- Though both of you wanted more, you were both just to awkward to make the first move.

- It was a really rainy night and you hadn’t been able to sleep. Your apartment was on the top floor and never felt completely safe on stormy nights.

- Instead you were sitting on your sofa and drinking green tea, going through Tim’s Netflix on your TV.

- When you had rich friends, you used them for free Netflix.

- Jason was bleeding and probably going to die.

- He had been in a pretty bad fight and Tim was on his way to get him.

- There wasn’t a chance he was going to get there on time. Tim was having to hack into his helmet and locate him as well as actually reach him.

- Jason knew a possible solution. You lived nearby and you were training to be a doctor.

- But if he went to you, he would have to explain the whole Red Hood situation.

- Then again, you were Tim and Steph’s friend, they had probably told you by accident and trying to keep it on the down low.

- Jason managed to get himself to your apartment building, luckily you were on the top floor and he could swing down to your fire escape without causing too much trouble.

- You almost screamed when Red Hood forced your window and collapsed on to the floor.

- “What the hell!” you yelled before noticing all the blood “Crap,”

- “Y/N…” Jason managed to choke out. He was struggling to breath.

- “Jay…” you froze when you heard his voice. Then you yanked the stupid helmet off and his identity was confirmed.

- You didn’t waste time demanding an explanation or freaking out. Your training kicked in and you managed to move him onto a table.

- You pulled out your home kit, it didn’t have everything you wanted but it had enough.

- After a very stressful hour, Jason was breathing normally and stitched up.

- “Hood! Where are you?” Tim’s voice buzzed from the helmet.

- You wanted to slap Tim in that moment. He had no sense of direction and if Jason had waited for him, he would have died.

- “He’s at mine.” you spoke into the helmet.

- “Y/N…bats is going to kill us…”

- “He’s alive, created a mess though.”

- “Should I come get him?”

- “No…no…he can crash here tonight.” you noticed Jason perk up slightly when you said that. He’d been completely silent, and refusing to meet your eyes.

- You put the helmet away. “So you’re Red Hood…That would make Tim…Red Robin?”

- “So you don’t hate me…?” he asked, genuinely confused.

- “Why would I hate?”

- “Because I didn’t tell you? Because I kill people? Because I’m involved in the Gotham Underworld?”

- “Almost everyone that lives in Gotham has been involved in the Underworld at some point. I had a teacher in university who became a villain instead of marking our course work.”

- “Killing people?”

- “Not my place to judge. You do what you think is right. At least you’re doing something to try and stop crime.”

- “I didn’t tell you?”

- “Sounds like you want me to hate you, I don’t. Plus, it’s a pretty big deal. You can’t just go around telling people that your Red Hood.”

- “But you aren’t people…” he whispered, hoping you wouldn’t hear.

- You did.

- “How did it start?” you asked quietly.

- “You want to know?” he sat up now.

- So many things made sense to you now. That night when he’d shown up at Steph and yours movie night. He was half naked because he had been finishing patrol.

- Why he was busy most nights

- The family matters Tim always had.

- Why Jason had travelled so much.

- “I do, what happened that made you put on a helmet and get a gun?”

- “It’s a long story…”

- “I have time…” you tried to smile at him, but he was looking at the floor. “And you can take yours.”

- “What?” his head shot up.

- “Sure, I have questions. But if you don’t want to tell me yet, you don’t have to. I’m going to be demanding why it’s taken Tim so long to tell me, but you don’t have too. I have all the time in the world and you can take that long.”

- “It’s a really long story.” he swung his legs round so he was sitting

- “You stole his tires?” you laughed “Why would you think that was a good idea?”

- “I was as street rat! I saw a nice car and didn’t put two and two together till Batman was already there” he defended

- “I went looking for my mum.” he started, this part was going to be the hardest. “She sold me out t the Joker…”

- “Jay…”

- He didn’t even try to sugar coat it. He told the story of his death in all the gruesome details. “So that’s how I died…”

- You gripped his hand, having joined him on the table. “You feel alive to me.” you leant your head on his shoulder.

- “I came back with a bone to pick, Bruce and I didn’t get on…I was pretty awful to Tim and the others.”

- “But that’s when Batman was gone briefly, when Red Hood was super big?” you remembered. “Tim disappeared for a bit…”

- “Yeah…He was lost in time. Tim was the one who figured it out. Damian became Robin and Tim went looking for Bruce, didn’t believe he was dead. Dick became Batman.”

- “So Roy and I ended up doing a lot of stuff, the number he gave up is still called every now and again.”

- “The Royfriend.” you remembered what Stephanie had called him.

- “He’s the best. Set my shower on fire once, still the best. Me and him had some stuff with the Joker’s Daughter.”

- “So you three became the outlaws…” you were trying to keep up with everything.

- “The first version of them. After we split up, I met Artemis and Bizarro.”

- “And here we are…” he finally finished.

- It had been about seven hours, and he had skipped out some details. You both had been through about three cups of coffee so far.

- “Here we are.” you agreed.

- “You want to kick me out? Zobie, killer, and asshole.”

- “At least you own it.”

- “I knew you’d hate me.” he looked to the floor for some comfort.

- You definitely didn’t hate him. Not at all.

- Whenever people asked it the future, Jason always claimed to have made the first move, you let him.

- You kissed him passionately but quickly. Pulling away to check his reaction.

- “What?” he asked, not trying to hide the smile forming.

- “I know everything now?”

- “Yeah.”

- “I definitely don’t hate you, Jason.”

- “But you don’t want this life. You can’t, it’s a nightmare, uncomfortable, messy!”

- “But I don’t want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin. I want you, Jason,” you quoted, thinking a book reference would mean a bit more to him.

- “Aldous Huxley…are you sure?”

- “Are you trying to talk me out of it?” you laughed at him.

- “Never.” he did make the second move at least, kissing you over and over again.

- “Well isn’t this sweet.” Tim had opened the door with his spare key, arriving to collect Jason.

- Neither of you cared though.

- For Jason, you had offered all the time in the world last night.

- He was already falling completely in love with you , and he had all the time to be with you.

Message from me - I could be really mean and say something like the Joker appeared and shot you in the head, but I’m not like that. I hope everybody that read these parts liked them! I loved writing them - Scarlett xx

[kitten1618x]

I loved your analysis of Jonsa's Battlements convo! It definitely helped reassure me after watching the first episode. My question is, how do you distinguish between shots/actions being intentionally done for romance rather than having friendship or familial undertones? People interpret things differently and someone who sees it being romantic is just as right as someone seeing it platonically. There's been times where I viewed things platonically until a meta changes my mind and vice versa.

Hi Nonny! Sorry I’m slow on the reply, it’s been a busy day, and I wanted to sit down and be able to give you a good reply vs. a quick one. 😉

For starters, thank you so much! I’m really glad that my Battlements meta was able to ease your mind a bit (as well as so many others). Honestly, I kinda think I suck at writing meta (I’m more of a fanfic writer), and was actually surprised it was such a hit among the fandom -but hey, whatever helps the Jonsa fam! ❤️

WARNING: This is going to get long and also contain *possible* spoilers!(I’d put a cut, but I’m on mobile -sorry guys).

Okay, so let’s get down to the nitty gritty …. you’re completely right -there are a lot of facets of the show that they purposely leave ambiguous to be left for the viewer to interpret on their own. Perception is in the eye of the beholder, and as I mentioned before in a previous ask, it’s not uncommon for shippers to twist the narrative to support their ship (we all do it). There is of course, very obvious ways to show a romance is in the works -like kissing, sex, etc., and then there’s the more subtle way (my favorite) -which can also be referred to as the “slow burn”.

Let’s address the elephant in the room -Jon and Sansa believe themselves to be siblings. We the audience know differently, but they do not. I think sometimes when we get all wrapped up in our ship, we forget that. They aren’t going to fall into each others arms because despite what they may be feeling, they know it’s wrong. So they’ll stuff it down, try to keep each other at arms length, maybe act belligerent (in a very OOC way) to disguise/mask their feelings (does that sound familiar?).

When their guard falls away or they just aren’t being very guarded at all, seemingly normal interactions will be laced with undertones of sexual tension -which can manifest themselves in longing looks (Kit has mastered this) or commonly referred to here as “heart eyes”, lingering touches (the forehead kiss is a great example of this), standing much closer to one another than necessary, awkwardness that can possibly be perceived as flirting (the dress compliment/cloak scene) -you get the point. Basically anything to skew our perception enough to say “hey wait a minute …what’s with that look they just gave each other when Sansa grabbed Jon’s hand at the dinner table?” and what’s with the camera focusing in on it -it’s almost like they want to make sure we saw that and know that little detail is probably important to the narrative going forward. 😉

Then there’s the romance tropes aspect -which I probably pick up on a bit easier because I write romance and use quite a few of them. They have been troping (not sure that’s an actual word, but I’m going with it) the shit out of Jon and Sansa since they’ve reunited in s6 -some way more blatant than others. I’d link you to some good trope sites so you can read up on it, but I’m on mobile, so maybe someone else who sees this can add a good link if they have one? Or a simple google search should pull some up for you if it’s something you’d like to read up on.

The slow burn setup works perfect for Jonsa because of the underlying fact that they currently think they’re siblings. Prepare for angst-galore (also my favorite) if you’re sailing this ship, my friend. However, it’s also perfect timing for a slow burn romance as we are approaching the end of the show. “Will they or won’t they” is a pretty popular romance trope, and fans tend to lose interest once the “will they” actually happens -so IMO it makes perfect sense to do this now, as it won’t become a boring romance plot that will drag on for years.

With Dany now in Westeros, and the leaks and speculation pointing to a sexual tryst between her and Jon, this also brings forth the possibility of the dreaded love triangle trope -which could also delve into the “Betty and Veronica” trope -wherein we have the sweet and loving girl next door type (Sansa) vs. the exotic and usually cold and more material girl type (Dany), in which the hero usually chooses to go with the sweet girl that he can make a family with (which is what book Jon always secretly wanted -to be the Lord of Winterfell and have sons he’d name after his brothers). *ironically, book Sansa has always wanted this too*

And while we’re on the subject of the books -I feel like it’s important to mention that GRRM had plotted a Jon/Arya romance endgame in his original outline. Well, actually a triangle- Jon/Arya/Tyrion. Beings that they’ve taken both Arya and Sansa’s show arcs in a slightly different direction than the books, it’s not a far stretch to think they might be giving this arc to the older Stark girl. Which from a personal perspective, makes much more sense -because Jon and Sansa weren’t very close as siblings and Sansa is no longer the spoiled and naive girl who used to turn her nose up at her bastard half brother -whereas Jon and Arya WERE close siblings -so it’s much less of a squick factor for the general audience once Jon’s true parentage is revealed to all involved.

Whew! This is getting long! I could probably go on forever and feel like I’m leaving something out, but I hope this answered your question, Nonny. If not, feel free to drop another ask! 😘