#vulnerable l.h.

[ja3yun]

"cat got your tongue?" | L.HS

bf!heeseung x gf!reader warnings: smut (mdni) unprotected sex, cream pie, dom!heeseung, gagging on fingers, slight breath play, pwp, just pure filth from the start, hee is loving but a menace, not proof read, anything else lmk! wc: 2.1k synopsis: heeseung's fingers might be your favourite gag a/n: hi! it's me finally with a small wordcount drabble!! who would have guessed it? anyway this was heavily inspired by a conversation i had with my twin flame ruby @dollyyun , so yes babe i hope you love it!! just something filthy and fun. have a great weekend everyone

“Oh God, Heeseung, don’t fucking stop,” you gasp, voice trembling with a mix of desperation and ecstasy. 

Your words seem to spur him on, his hips driving forward with a rhythm that’s sharp and deliberate, each thrust more intense than the last. His 7-inch cock plunges deep inside you, the set pace teetering on the edge between pleasure and torment. Every time he pulls back, you feel the delicious drag of his shaft slipping against your walls, only for him to slam back in, battering you deep inside. You can’t decide if you want to savour this maddening tempo or beg for more - something harder, rougher, like a man who’s lost in his own lust.

The room is thick with the scent of sex, love, and a passion that feels almost primal. You hadn’t imagined the night turning out this way; there was a different kind of intimacy in mind with cuddles and romantic movies. But it’s your own fault, really. You knew exactly what you were doing when you slipped into his favourite pyjamas - the ones dotted with cute little hearts, the matching crop top clinging to your skin, barely covering your tits. His reaction was inevitable; you had provoked the beast, and now he was giving you everything you silently asked for and more.

Your breath comes in ragged gasps, each thrust driving the air from your lungs. His name tumbles from your lips like a mantra, broken and pleading. "Heeseung...please..." You don't even know what you're begging for anymore - a faster pace, a deeper thrust, anything to push you over the edge that you're balancing on. His gaze is dark and focused, a predatory glint in his eyes as he watches your every reaction, drinking in the sight of you falling apart beneath him. His lips curl into a wicked smile, a low chuckle rumbling from his chest.

“Look at you,” he murmurs, his voice a mix of amusement and lust. “So desperate for me, aren’t you?”

A shiver runs through you, his words sinking into your skin, your core tightening around him in response. Heeseung's hands slide down to grip your waist, fingers pressing into your flesh hard enough to leave marks, and with a grunt, he changes the angle. The new position has him hitting that spot deep inside you that makes stars explode behind your eyes, and your moan echoes through the room.

"Fuck, yes, right there!" you cry out, arching your back as your nails rake down his shoulders. Each thrust grows more relentless, his hips driving into you with a punishing, unyielding rhythm that leaves you gasping for breath, lost in the delicious agony of it all. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room, blending with the symphony of your moans, gasps, and his ragged grunts.

Your hands trail down his arms, feeling the taut muscles flex beneath your touch as your fingers glide over the sheen of sweat on his skin. They move lower, seeking the hand that’s gripping your waist with such force that you’re sure his fingertips will leave bruises blooming across your skin by morning. You pry his right hand away and entwine your fingers with his, grounding yourself in that moment of intimacy amidst the ferocity.

The wicked grin on his lips softens into something more tender, his gaze never leaving yours. He brings your joined hands up to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles, his eyes speaking the love that words don’t need to convey. For a moment, there’s a gentleness, a shared breath of vulnerability.

But when you guide his hand to your lips, his expression shifts back to that familiar, dark smirk, eyes narrowing with understanding. He knows what you’re asking for without you needing to say a word. His lips curl up, that sadistic amusement returning as he watches you with a mix of pride and desire.

“You want to suck on my fingers, baby?” he asks, his voice low and teasing, but there’s an edge to it that sends a shiver down your spine. You nod, lips parting slightly in anticipation, but Heeseung doesn’t give in so easily.

Instead, he brings your joined hands back to his mouth, and with deliberate slowness, he slips his own fingers past his lips. His eyes stay locked on yours as he sucks them into his mouth, his tongue swirling around each digit, wetting them thoroughly. The sight makes your breath hitch, a new wave of heat pooling low in your belly. You’re so jealous of his tongue that you might grow green with envy, wishing it was you instead.

With a soft pop, he pulls his fingers free, and that smug, dark grin stretches wider across his face. “Open up,” he commands softly, his tone brooking no argument. You don’t even think to disobey. Your lips part further, and he wastes no time, pressing his slick fingers against them and pushing them past your teeth.

The taste of him coats your tongue, and you moan softly around his fingers. He watches intently, his gaze dark with lust as he slides his fingers deeper, teasing the back of your throat. He forces your mouth open, her stare never leaving yours

“You like that, don’t you?” he whispers, voice rough with desire. “Being so good for me. So fucking perfect.” He presses down more firmly, the tips of his fingers brushing against your tongue, and he grins when he feels you gag slightly. His hips never falter and your legs that are wrapped around his waist anchor you both together while he focuses on your pleasure.

Your eyes flutter shut, and you moan around him, sucking on his fingers as he guides you, your tongue swirling around them just like he’d done moments ago. “Nu-uh, baby. Eyes open or else I’ll stop,” he warns, causing you to string your eyes open in a desperate plea. “You wouldn’t want that, would you?” His tone is teasing and degrading but fuck does it turn you on even more. 

The way he watches you makes you feel exposed, cherished, and utterly controlled all at once. Three of his digits press on your tongue as he uses his strength to widen your mouth, pushing his fingers deeper until your eyes water, and he can feel your breath coming in sharp gasps, rendering you unable even to answer his question. 

The thing about your boyfriend is that he likes you vocal and demands that his questions are answered. Even simple ones like ‘Do you feel that?’ have to be replied with a yes, otherwise he takes the pleasure away from you. But how can you answer when his fingers are imprisoning you to silence?

Heeseung laughs mockingly as he plummets into you at a slightly slower pace. “Aw, baby, what’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?” With each question, he bucks his hip forcefully, the tip of his cock meeting your cervix and desperately willing your eyes to close. The intense pressure has your eyes threatening to close, a tear slipping free, but you don’t look away. You meet his gaze, eyes glassy and lips stretched around his fingers, desperately trying to answer him with a look, a plea for mercy.

He knows exactly what he’s doing. “Look at you,” he murmurs with a breathy chuckle. “So desperate to speak. Go on, then, try.”

You attempt to form a word, but his fingers are still lodged deep in your mouth, muffling any sound. All that comes out is a garbled moan, saliva dripping down your chin as you try to articulate anything that might satisfy him. Your tongue moves helplessly against his digits, eyes begging him for some semblance of relief.

Heeseung’s grin widens, and with a sudden withdrawal, he pulls his fingers from your mouth, a slick trail of spit connecting them to your lips. You gasp for air, trying to find your voice, but before you can utter a single word, he crashes his lips against yours, swallowing whatever sound was about to escape. The kiss is hungry, consuming - tongues meeting in a frenzied dance. His hand, still wet from your mouth, grips your jaw, keeping you firmly in place as he devours you.

Heeseung’s hips drive into you with a brutal, unrelenting pace, his thrusts hitting so deep and fast that you feel like you’re coming apart beneath him. His lips move against yours in a heated frenzy, devouring your every whimper, every plea. Your tongue tangles with his, wet and hot, the taste of him mixing with the desperate sounds spilling from both of you. He pulls back just enough to let you gasp for air, but his lips are back on yours a second later, almost as if he can’t stand to be apart for even a moment.

The hand cupping the back of your head tightens its grip, fingers tangling in your hair as he forces your head to tilt back further, deepening the kiss to an almost punishing degree. The intensity of it sends sparks shooting through your veins, your body trembling with need. His hips snap forward faster, the wet sounds of your bodies colliding filling the room, his cock driving into you with a perfect, punishing rhythm that makes your toes curl and your vision blur.

“Hee…I need to cum…please,” you beg into his mouth, your words coming out in broken, breathless fragments between the feverish kisses. Your tongue explores his mouth, whimpering between each word, and he moans against you, clearly loving the way you’re falling apart beneath him. His hips don’t slow; if anything, he picks up speed, fucking into you with a new fervour, as if your begging has ignited something even more primal in him.

“Cum for me, baby,” he growls against your lips, his voice rough and dripping with dominance. “I want to feel you lose it around me. Come on - give it to me.”

His words are like gasoline on a fire, and your entire body seizes up, muscles tensing as you feel the coil inside you winding tighter and tighter. His thrusts are relentless, his cock driving into that perfect spot over and over again, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. The pleasure is so intense it’s almost painful, your mind going blank with nothing but the feeling of him inside you, around you, consuming you.

The combination of his filthy words, his relentless pace, and the raw need in his voice shoves you over the edge. Your climax crashes into you like a tidal wave, overwhelming and all-consuming. Your walls clamp down around him, squeezing his cock as your entire body convulses with the force of your orgasm. A choked scream rips from your throat, your back arching off the bed as wave after wave of pleasure pulses through you.

“Fuck, yes, that’s it,” Heeseung groans through a tremble and gritted teeth, his rhythm faltering as he feels you tighten around him. He doesn’t stop, thrusting through your orgasm, drawing it out until you’re quivering and whimpering beneath him, barely able to catch your breath.

His hips stutter, and you feel him swell inside you, his cock pulsing as he chases his own release. His hand on your head pulls you back into another bruising kiss, his tongue claiming yours in a messy, desperate dance. His breaths are ragged against your lips, his body tense and trembling. With a deep, guttural groan, he thrusts into you one last time, burying himself as deep as he can go. You feel the hot rush of his release spill into you, his body jerking with each spurt as he fills you completely.

Breaking the kiss, Heeseug presses his forehead against yours as he pants heavily, his breath warm against your face. For a moment, there’s nothing but the sound of your laboured breathing and the feel of your heartbeats pounding against each other’s chests. His hand loosens its grip in your hair, fingers stroking through the damp strands gently now, his touch a stark contrast to the roughness from moments before.

“God, I love you,” he murmurs against your lips, his voice soft and raw, full of emotion. He leans in and kisses you again, slower this time, his lips lingering against yours in a sweet, lingering caress that has you melting all over again.

“Love you too, Heeseung,” you whisper back, your voice shaky but full of sincerity. You’re still coming down from the high, your body exhausted, jaw sore, but thoroughly satisfied, and you know he feels the same, his lips curling into a lazy, contented smile against yours.

And as he pulls you closer, his arms wrapping around you in a protective, possessive hold, you know this isn’t the end but just the beginning of another night lost in each other.

perm taglist: @immortalvessel @sunpov @heeseungspookie @strawberrysavi @monstanctiny21 @diorsyun @heexzbae @yzzyhee @baekhyunstruly @zeeloveshee @haechonly @berryblog @no-mannerism @jaehoonii @notevenheretbh1 @shawnyle @addictedtohobi @jiminie-08 @emberuby @nctislifue @lilyuwon @skzenhalove @heeshlove @idkdykilr @chocminteu @y4wnjunz @rikibun @ivesti @parksunghoonsgf @branchrkive @brownsugarbaybee @xxbluestrifexx @bambangan @dollyyun @iluvikeu @deobitifull @yawnazzz @st1llm0nster @woorcve @heeseungsbm @star-hoon @heelee-01

[yanwonnies]

ꜜ : 𝑺𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝑺𝒆𝒍𝒇𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 ﹙ 희승; 제이 ; 정원 ! ﹚

↝ At the MAMA awards, Y/N's dangerously short dress intensely catches the attention of Jungwon, Heeseung, and Jay, sparking tension and desire in the dressing room.

⠇↴ Pairings: poly!ot7 x added member!reader ﹙ l.hs, p.js, y.jw centric. ﹚ ⠇↴ Words: 3.4K

Warnings ‎⸝⸝⸝ suggestive, ass grabbing (l.hs part), throat grabbing (p.js part), making out session?? i don't really know, just a lot of kissing, enha' a bit dominant and possessive, insecure!reader as well as anxious!reader, a little angsty, ending a little short and boring to be honest. I think that's all… if I missed something, let me know!

Wonnie’s note ‎⸝⸝⸝ english is not my first language, so I apologize if there are any typographical errors or if the text loses meaning in some parts. I appreciate your understanding and patience. I hope you enjoy the reading, and thank you very much for taking the time to read my work.

𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘦𝘴 2024 © 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥.

The hustle and bustle in the hallways backstage at the MAMA Awards was almost deafening. The atmosphere vibrated with palpable anticipation, a whirlwind of adrenaline and excitement enveloping every corner of the staging area. Artists, stylists and production staff moved with frantic urgency, each focused on perfecting the details for the big event. In the midst of all this excitement, my only point of focus was the reflection of my own figure in the dressing room mirror.

The dress I had been assigned for the presentation was not simply a costume piece; it was something that brazenly defied the rules of modesty. The tight, shiny fabric clung to my body with a precision that was almost unsettling, highlighting every curve and contour with an intensity that made me feel exposed. What really bothered me, however, was not just the tight material, but the way the dress cinched around the safety shorts.

The hem, which ended dangerously high, barely covered the essentials, letting the edges of the shorts peek out shyly and accentuating the feeling of vulnerability. Every little movement was a reminder of how close I was to unwanted exposure. The shiny fabric seemed to dance to the rhythm of my body, revealing more than I wished to show.

The tight fit of the dress and the visibility of the shorts created a palpable discomfort. Every breath became an act of discipline, a conscious effort to maintain a graceful posture while dealing with the restriction the fabric imposed. The heat and pressure under the dressing room lights added to my discomfort, making every movement feel like a constant challenge. I knew it would be complicated to move fluidly on stage, and that certainty only added to my anxiety.

In the midst of this internal whirlwind, the sound of the dressing room door opening interrupted my thoughts, bursting the bubble of my self-analysis. Instantly, I shrank back a little, instinctively seeking to hide my unease. Jungwon entered, and as our gazes met in the mirror, I noticed something that made my heart skip a beat. There was concern in his eyes, yes, but what surprised me most was how his pupils dilated and his eyes, normally filled with a warm glow, seemed to have darkened.

His gaze lingered on my figure, with a flash of curiosity that soon turned into something deeper. His expression changed, a touch of seriousness I hadn't seen before. -Is that… what you're going to wear? - he asked, his tone evoking a sense of tension.

Instead of responding with words, I simply nodded my head, unable to articulate a more coherent response. My throat felt dry, and nervousness prevented me from formulating a clear explanation. I looked down to fiddle nervously with my hands. The feeling of being watched so closely made me look for any distraction that might help me manage the growing nervousness.

The room seemed to have shrunk to an intimate space, and the bustle outside faded to a distant whisper. Jungwon approached slowly, his movements deliberate and calculated, like a predator studying its prey. His every step seemed to echo in the silent room, and his presence seemed to fill everything.

When he stood in front of me, the closeness was overwhelming. I was cornered between the makeup table and him, my back pressed against the edge of the table. His legs were strategically placed in between mine, leaving barely any space between us. His proximity was so palpable that I felt his warmth almost like an extension of my own body.

With a gesture that combined firmness and gentleness, he placed his hand on my waist; the pressure of his fingers was sure but not aggressive, as if he was trying to balance control with an almost intimate subtlety. The contact was enveloping, his every movement causing the warmth of his hand to transmit through the material of the dress.

The sensation of her fingers pressing against my waist, while his legs were so close to mine, intensified the feeling of confinement. The pressure of his body against mine and the brush of his hand on mine created an atmosphere charged with tension. His gaze rested on every detail of my figure, his piercing eyes revealing a concern that seemed to merge with a palpable attraction.

He bowed his head with an almost imperceptible gesture -You look…- he began to say in a whisper that vibrated with a captivating depth. -You look… absolutely amazing- The way he articulated each word, slurring the syllables, conveyed not only admiration, but a possessiveness that made me shudder. His tone charged with burning desire caused a searing heat to rise in my cheeks, and my skin tightened under his penetrating gaze.

Before I could react, Jungwon further reduced the distance between us and kissed me. It was a kiss that unfolded with an intensity that took my breath away. His lips, warm and demanding, met mine in a contact that was both demanding and delicate. The pressure of his mouth was firm, but the touch of his tongue, as it slid between our lips, was surprisingly gentle. His tongue moving with a confidence that combined desire and subtle dominance, caressing and exploring every corner of my mouth.

The kiss deepened with a palpable urgency. I felt his hands cling to my waist, firm and dominant, but at the same time careful, as if trying not to lose himself in the maelstrom of his own desire. Every caress of his tongue, every exploration, was a testament to a need that could not be contained. The outside world faded away, and there was only the warmth of her lips and the touch of her body.

When he finally pulled away, his lips left a trail of warmth on mine. He placed his forehead against mine, a gesture that sealed the moment with overwhelming intimacy. His eyes, still fixed on mine, reflected a mixture of desire and almost palpable concern. The closeness of our foreheads made our breaths synchronize, creating a space in which every inhale and exhale felt shared.

The feel of his warm, soft skin against mine, combined with the intensity of his gaze, created an emotional connection that transcended the physical.

-You can't use this, Y/N. Not like this…- said Jungwon in a low, firm whisper that resonated with authority, his voice laden with a depth that seemed to penetrate my essence. The words, though soft, carried a weight that contrasted sharply with the fervor of the kiss we had just shared. His gaze remained fixed on mine, his eyes brimming with a mixture of desire and concern -You can't move or dance like that, and that's not something you can ignore.

The certainty in her voice and the firmness of her statement brought me back to the reality of the moment. The discomfort and restriction of the dress became more apparent, and the genuine concern in her eyes merged with the intensity of her desire.

-I'm too selfish to let anyone else see you like this-Jungwon said, and his tone, charged with a possessiveness that made me shudder, seemed to further accentuate the heat rising in my cheeks.

Jungwon slowly pulled away, his forehead parting from mine with a gentleness that contrasted with the intensity of the moment. He walked out of the dressing room with a palpable determination, leaving me alone with a sense of emptiness and confusion. Minutes later, he returned accompanied by Jay and Heeseung.

As the door opened, Jay walked in first and his reaction was instantaneous. His eyes instantly darkened, surprise reflected in his face. His eyes, which normally sparkled with a playful sparkle, turned serious, almost as if they were absorbing the shock of what they saw. The intensity of his gaze swept over every detail of the dress, making it clear that he was affected by the sight.

Heeseung entered shortly after, and a shaky sigh escaped his lips. -God… -His eyes roamed over every line of the dress with a mixture of awe and suppressed desire. The exclamation, though softly spoken, was charged with a fascination she could not conceal. The way his eyes dilated and his expression hardened clearly showed how shocked he was by the sensuality of the outfit.

Instinctively, I pulled the hem of the dress down a little, in a desperate attempt to cover myself further, though I knew it was a temporary and ineffective solution. This simple movement seemed to bring all three of them back to reality.

Jay removed his leather jacket in one purposeful motion and tied it around my waist. The gesture, while practical, carried with it a sense of closeness and protection that I had not anticipated. As he leaned toward me, the intensity of his gaze and the determination in his movements created an atmosphere of security that counteracted my growing anxiety.

The jacket he tied around my waist provided additional coverage, but the real comfort came from his closeness.

-There's no way you're going out like this- Heeseung said, taking a step closer to me, his voice tense and laden with a concern that was evident in every word. The intensity of his gaze swept over my figure with a firmness that left no room for doubt.

-It's obvious- Jay added, his tone now firmer and more determined. -Where's the stylist?- he asked, looking around with palpable trepidation. The search for an immediate solution was evident in his tone, and his concern for my well-being was undeniable.

Nervously, I looked at Jay, trying to remain calm -No, it's really okay…- I said, as I tried to convince them and myself that I could handle the situation. -I don't want to slow us down or upset the staff… It's fine like this.

Jay paused for a moment, and his expression softened. Without another word, he leaned toward me and placed a soft kiss on my lips. His lips moved over mine with an intensity that made me shiver, and the way he held me by the neck gave him a sense of protection and dominance. The kiss was a reminder of his commitment and how deeply he cared for me. His touch, at once gentle and commanding, spoke of a desire to protect me and keep me safe.

-No, I'm not going to let anyone see my girlfriend like this- he said in a deep voice charged with determination, as he slowly pulled away from the kiss. His expression was a reflection of the intensity of his feelings, and his words were an affirmation of his unwavering resolve.

With palpable determination, Jay left the dressing room in search of the stylist, with Jungwon at his side, insisting on accompanying him to ensure that everything was resolved in the best possible way. The door closed behind them with a faint click, leaving me in the dressing room with Heeseung.

The tension in the room was thick and palpable, and the silence that followed Jay and Jungwon's departure was filled with the soft murmur of my gasping breath. Heeseung approached me with a calming presence. The way he moved, with a mixture of assurance and tenderness, contrasted with the intensity of the moment before. He wrapped his arms around my waist, his hands resting gently on my belly. The feel of his warmth and the comforting touch of his fingers brought me a slight relief, and his close whisper in my ear gave me a breath of relief.

-Calm down- Heeseung said to me, his voice was soft, almost like a whisper, laden with an affection that wrapped around me like a warm blanket.

I turned in his arms, feeling the comfort of his nearness. His eyes, ever so warm and understanding, reflected a mixture of concern and affection. It took me a moment to appreciate every feature of his face, with none of the stern grimaces I had seen on Jay.

-It's just that Jay looked really stressed- I told him, seeing Jay lose his composure like that and the seriousness on his face had added an extra layer of unease to my already agitated mind.

Heeseung looked at me with deep understanding. -It's okay- he said, his tone comforting. -Although I personally think the dress is… pretty- his voice carried a tinge of sarcasm, hinting at the hotness of the outfit -I understand that not everyone has the right to see you like this.

A spontaneous smile appeared on my face at Heeseung's boldness; his response was a relief in the midst of the tension. His lighthearted attitude, even in the midst of such an intense situation, was a source of comfort.

Heeseung bowed his head slightly, his gaze fixed on me with a mischievous glint in his eyes. -I'll find a way to bring this dress to the dormitories- he said with a smile that hid a mixture of defiance and tenderness.

I couldn't help but laugh at his comment, giving him a playful pat on the arm. My laughter was a welcome respite, a release of the tension that had built up. However, as soon as my laughter subsided, Heeseung leaned toward me and kissed me passionately on the lips.

The kiss began slowly and playfully, his lips moving over mine with tantalizing softness. Heeseung's lips were warm and firm against mine, and his hand began to slowly roam my waist. The pressure of his touch was a constant reminder of his desire and presence, adding a layer of sensuality to each caress.

I tried to maintain control, not allowing his tongue access to my mouth. His hands, which initially caressed my waist with tantalizing tenderness, slowly descended down my hips. Each movement was deliberate, each caress carefully measured to intensify the desire we shared.

My attempts to maintain dominance over the kiss became more difficult as his hands moved down my thighs, moving with an assured confidence. The feel of his fingers exploring the surface of my skin made me feel vulnerable, and his touch became a promise of what was to come. His hand finally reached my ass, squeezing it with a firmness that made me let out an unexpected gasp.

The sound escaped my lips unintentionally, and at that moment, Heeseung took the opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth with determined sensuality. The warmth of his tongue met mine, and the kiss deepened with an intensity that made every fiber of my being stir. His movements were sure, every touch and every caress charged with a loving possession that enveloped me completely.

Heeseung began to slowly pull back, his body moving with an innate confidence. Finally, he leaned back against the table, his hips flush against the cold, solid surface. His hands, which previously explored my body tenderly, had now focused on my ass, squeezing it with a firmness that made each caress feel even more intense.

My hands, moving instinctively, found the nape of Heeseung's neck. I began to stroke his hair with a gentleness that was a mixture of affection and desire. The touch of my fingers on his scalp elicited a low moan that escaped his lips, and I felt his body tense against mine with renewed desire.

Suddenly, footsteps sounded in the distance, approaching rapidly. I broke away from Heeseung quickly. As he wiped the residual gloss from my lips with a quick, subtle gesture, I tried to compose myself, adjusting my breathing and arranging my dress with trembling hands. Jay's jacket, still tied around my waist, shifted slightly as I tried to give it a final touch to disguise the slip.

My heartbeat echoed in my ears like a frantic drum as I spun around to face those who were entering. I watched Jungwon, Jay and the stylist cross the threshold, and felt a surge of nervousness course through my body.

Jungwon, with his imposing bearing and a determined expression on his face, waved his hand at me. The concern in his eyes was palpable; he knew well that, as the only woman in the group, my position was especially vulnerable.

-She can't wear that- Jungwon said, his voice ringing with a firmness that left no room for doubt.

The stylist, upon hearing the statement, turned to me with an expression of surprise that quickly morphed into a silent exclamation of understanding. Her lips formed an "O" of surprise and concern as she connected the pieces of the puzzle.

-Ah, this? - She said, pointing to the jacket still tied around my waist. -Yeah, this jacket is Jay's, so this isn't supposed to-

Jay, in a low but determined tone, interrupted immediately -The jacket stays unless T/N changes this piece of fabric that you call a dress- his voice was low and direct, and his displeasure was palpable.

Jay's statement was a reality check that made me feel even more aware of the situation.

Jungwon, noticing the growing tension, tried to calm the atmosphere. -Hyung...- he said in a tone that sought to moderate the situation -we need T/N to change. She can barely move with this on. - He explained, addressing the stylist with a mixture of firmness and calm. Her words were clear: the dress did not allow any free movement, and a solution was urgently needed.

The stylist, with an air of resignation, replied in a tone that made her discomfort clear. -The company chose the clothes, and I really can't do anything about it at the moment- she said.

Jungwon, with a determination that brooked no objection, insisted. -Then the jacket stays.

The stylist sighed, clearly frustrated. The combination of the jacket with the dress was not ideal, and the effort to match it correctly seemed to be reaching its limit. -I'll see what I can do- she said in a tone that promised action, and hurried out of the dressing room in search of a solution.

As the stylist walked away, with hurried steps, my attention was drawn to Jay.

Jay was standing near the door, his figure imposing and his expression filled with palpable concern. The intensity of his gaze was a reminder of how much he cared about all of this. I approached slowly, feeling the tension in my muscles begin to loosen with each step I took toward him. The closeness of his presence brought me a breath of relief, as if the weight of the situation was eased by his proximity alone.

When I was finally close enough, I gently leaned toward him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. My touch was a mixture of gratitude and nervousness, a gesture that sought to express all that I could not say in words. I felt the warmth of his skin under my lips, a warmth that was comforting and reassuring. -Thank you, Jay- I murmured in a voice that tried to remain calm, but hinted at the emotion and gratitude I felt inside.

Jay, upon receiving my kiss, showed a slight smile that spoke of relief and satisfaction. I then turned to Jungwon, who was watching the scene tenderly. I approached him with purposeful steps, seeking his support in the midst of the chaos I had been experiencing.

I offered him a kiss on the cheek, and in that instant, the warmth of his body and the firmness of his embrace became a refuge in the midst of my emotional storm. His embrace was enveloping and protective. -Thank you, Jungwon- I said in a voice full of sincerity and gratitude.

At that moment, the tension in the air began to dissipate, and the atmosphere was filled with a brief breath of relief. Jay, watching Heeseung with a smile that mixed amusement and satisfaction, let out a low chuckle, which broke the tense silence in the dressing room. -Hyung, are you all right? -he asked in a playful tone.

Heeseung, still leaning back from the makeup table, let out a sigh that was a mixture of relief and amusement. The little scuffle between Jay and Heeseung, accompanied by jokes and comments, brought momentary relief to the tension that had been so palpable earlier. As I listened to their banter and bickering, I felt comforted by the solidarity and love they were offering me.

I leaned toward Jungwon once again, feeling the warmth and firmness of his embrace. -Thank you again- I said in a tone full of affection. He smiled slightly, and his expression softened even more. -I had already told you. We are too selfish to share you.

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

OFFERING A HAND. (L.H)

logan howlett x gn!reader

word count. 1369

summary. requested here. logan overhears you crying one night. though the dynamics of your relationship have never been established, he can’t quite leave you alone. and so, he knocks on your door. doing what he can to comfort you

It was a bad day. Another bad day at the end of a bad week. Another bad week. 

You didn’t even know what it was that you were feeling, what had got you feeling this way. All you did know, is that your head hurt, the pressure building behind your eyes as you try your best not to actualise your sadness. Purposefully distracting yourself as a way to manage it. 

You’re in your room at the mansion, earphones plugged in with your door shut – minimal light from the moon creeping through your window. You lay in bed on your side, legs comfortably tucked up as you listen to your music, the volume high enough to drown out everything else.

It was loud, so much so that you’re unaware of the knocks at your door – the presence of Logan on the other side. The smell and sounds of your sobs catching his attention from the room over. 

He knew it wasn’t his responsibility, wasn’t his duty to check on you —the confusing dynamics of your unspoken relationship often making things difficult— though he’s not heartless. He’s not cruel. He couldn’t let you be alone, knowing you were crying in your room. 

His knocks go unheard, though he knew you were in there. The smell of your salty tears just as fragrant as before – maybe even more so now up close.

You see a crack of light illuminate around your room as the door ever so slowly opens, Logan lingering between the small gap in the doorframe. You whip your neck around to follow the silhouette, your hands immediately reaching to wipe your eyes when you spot him.  

“Everything okay in here?” he asks, speaking tentatively. His footing hesitant. 

You unplug your earphones and give your eyes another quick wipe, hastily brushing the wet from under them. 

“Mhm-hm,” you hum, afraid of what your voice may sound like. 

“You sure?” he questions, slowly eyeing around your dim room. “It uh— it doesn’t sound like it.”

You briefly drop your head into your hands and clear your throat, adjusting yourself more comfortably on the bed. Sitting up, you cross your legs and plop a plushie atop – your comfort plushie. Awkwardly playing with the ears as a way of distracting yourself. 

“I’m good,” you shrug, weakly laughing as if to lighten the mood – make it seem like no big deal. 

His eyes hone in on your fidgeting hands, a slight warmness spreading in them once he realises what you’re doing. He looks back out into the hallway like he was weighing his options, until he glances back at you sitting sadly on your bed, bottom lip practically wobbling. 

He exhales as he scratches the back of his neck, clearly unsure of what to do.

“Seriously,” you clear your throat once more. “I’m good. I’m good,” you say, the tone changing by the second repeat – speaking like it was you who needed convincing. 

He shakes his head and steps further into your room, closing the door behind himself as he walks over to you. “Can I sit?” he questions, and once he’s met with a nod from you, he takes a seat at the edge just beside you.

“I don’t know why I’m sad,” you murmur, eyes focused on your lap. Your hands still fiddling with the fluff of your stuffed animal. “I don’t know,” you shrug, suddenly feeling embarrassed by all this vulnerability. 

He nods faintly, the act showing that he’s listening to you. It’s like he’s uncertain of what to say, scared of saying the wrong thing.

“Sorry,” you shake your head, softly scoffing to yourself. 

“No,” he mirrors your head movement. “Don’t be.”

Logan hesitates, his hand slowly reaching for yours. He clasps around it, his fingers interlocking with yours before giving you a slight squeeze. “It’s okay,” he nods, reaffirming his words.

The contact alone of his hand in yours is enough to reopen those feelings you tried ever so desperately to contain. New tears slowly forming in your eyes from his simple act of warmth. 

He keeps his eyes on the side of you, watching you softly while you do everything you can not to meet his gaze – forcefully keeping them on your interlocked hands. 

And with your spare hand, you bring it up to your face, elbow resting on your knee to cover your eyes, not wanting him to see you cry.

But it was too late, he saw it and his heart hurt for you. He pulses your hand, his fingers soothingly skimming over the back of it. He couldn’t bear to see you like this. And though the logistics of your relationship have never been solidified, that didn’t mean he didn’t care for you, didn’t like you.

You cry quietly into your hand, the pads of your fingers briskly wiping away every tear that fell. 

“Come on,” he mutters, voice soft as he adjusts on the bed, turning inward to you beside him. “Let me take care of you.”

Without a second to debate it, you repeat after him – twisting in to face him. You let go of his hand and wrap both arms around him, hands tight on his back as you bury your face into his shoulder. Head tucked in the crook of his neck.

His arms follow after you in the same way, hands grasped tight on your back as he soothes you – a palm brushing up the length of it, calming you. The warmth and softness of him only deepen your sobs.

He coos faintly, the sound like he was trying to further the comfort. His large, manish hands running up the expanse of your spine until one situates behind your head, cradling it carefully. Holding it closer to him. 

You mutter something into him, the incohesive words muffling against his neck.

And before you have to repeat yourself, he’s pulling away to look down at you. The hand on your back moving to the side of your face, his thumb gliding under your eye to swipe away a tear bead. He keeps his eyes focused on you, gaze purely soft as he flickers over your face.

“One more time, sweet thing,” he prompts, referring to your prior, indistinct sentence a moment.

“Thank you,” you repeat, a slight waver in your voice. “I mean it, thank you,” you nod and give his back a brief squeeze before parting.

His hand still cupping your face. “I know,” he says, words gentle.

He leans in, pressing a kiss to your cheek, his lips lingering for a moment before he pulls away. You hold his eye contact, smiling sadly at him as you do so. He can be so sweet.

“Um,” you start, unsure of what’s about to come from your mouth. “Can you stay with me for a bit?” 

He pauses, his features forcefully stiffening —hiding a grin— before he nods, silently agreeing.

You smile at him again, this time it's far sweeter, the reasoning far sweeter. You resume your original lying position, only this time it’s facing inwards, leaving space for Logan to lay in front.

He follows your lead, moving across the bed to lie in the same way you do – his body facing yours. You scoot closer and wrap an arm around him, forgetting all prior complications and complexities in your confusing relationship. It all felt right and how it should, just like you always wanted. Like what he always wanted.

He pulls you closer, his own arm cradling you like he did just moments before. He looks down at you tucked against his chest, his eyes never seeming to pull away from how soft and sweet you looked. How at peace you looked with him.

And as he watches your eyes flicker closed —presumed exhaustion taking over— he makes a silent promise to you both. Telling himself that he’ll always be there for you when you feel this way again.

But he can’t tell you that, especially now as you’re finally starting to doze off. So instead he holds you just a bit tighter, pressing a kiss into your hairline as he relaxes into your touch – making himself comfortable to spend the night in your room. A night with you.

you guys have comfort teddies too right?

[thinemoonshine]

⋆ ˚｡𝒯𝐻𝒰𝑀𝒫! 𝓂𝓎 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓉 𝒿𝓊𝓂𝓅𝓈! ୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

enhypen 8th fem!member x hyung line content(s): angst(for heeseung’s but (y/n) puts him in his place), fluff, (y/n) rizzing the hyung line(unintentionally), cutesy members type: oneshot word count: 1842 (avg. of 461 words for each member)

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ synopsis: in which the hyung line’s hearts go THUMP! THUMP! in a fluttery way when (y/n) does a certain something ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

maknae line version

when she’s confident (l.hs)

this one can be general but to be exact, it’s when she acts like a complete girlboss—slaying the day and all that stuff. the type of confidence that’s sassy and teasing that contends with his own pride and tough facade. or in other simpler terms: putting him in his place.

“all i asked for was just a little help here and there because i’m exhausted. is that too much to ask for?” heeseung scoffs with a deep, discontented frown.

“is a ‘thank you’ too much to ask for?” (y/n) snaps back and the other’s gears seem to halt momentarily, not expecting her to talk back—with his own words, at that—considering how she’s always so patient.

he clears his throat but he’s not one to back down so easily. “that’s it? that’s the reason why you’re acting like a brat?”

his words cut her deeper than she thought it would and even for him, it’s harsh—coming out more abrasive than he meant it to be.

(y/n)’s glare sharpens and she slides the mug across the table to him. “make your own drink. i’ve had enough of you bossing me around.”

with that, her arms fall to her side before she turns to leave—until heeseung stops her. of course.

“HEY! don’t walk away from me! you think i’m gonna let you talk to me like that?? i’m older than you!”

(y/n) whips her head to him before stalking towards him instead. the same grim look on her face even when she stands close, chin almost touching his chest from their proximity. “so what? you’re older so it’s okay that you’re rude? you’re older therefore you deserve respect? nah… you gotta earn it. i figured you’d know this by now because you’re the wise old man.”

astonishment fills him at her mockery and heeseung resists from taking a step back at her bold confrontation, wanting to be as unyielding and fierce as she is—and yet another part of him wants to simply surrender and let her have her victory because dang, her temper is hot.

hot in which way? heeseung struggles with that too.

“oh, now you’re quiet,” she scoffs haughtily with a tilt of her head and her lips pulled to a scornful smirk. oh, how the expression makes him stagger ever so subtly. “you know, as much as i love your pretty voice, you’re better of like this if you’re just gonna use it to boss me around like a jerk.”

he knows she means it to taunt him. he knows that her ‘compliment’ is meant more of demeaning than it is praising—so why does he want to hear her say it again?

she takes another step closer, bodies almost touching and panic imbues more when his back presses against the wall.

her stare is intense, digging into his own so viciously, relentlessly, that he feels as if he’s laid bare upon her—secrets uncovered and he’s sure that she can see his vulnerability shining through. that is, if his palms tight against the white partition behind him and the occasional nervous licks of his bottom lip are not dead giveaways.

“seeing as you’re old enough as it is, i don’t think you’d need a babysitter to make your drink for you, hm?” she taunts with her voice light and airy, much too soft for the venom that drips through and the knowledge of that does something to him—ridding him of air.

he doesn’t remember thinking much, all he remembers is him automatically shaking his head and (y/n) shoving the mug to his chest before she strides away, followed by a slam of a door and now, a deafening silence.

heeseung leans limply as his chest rises dramatically at the deep inhale he takes before exhaling it just as thoroughly. putting his hand on the left side, his jaw tightens at the vehement beats of his heart and at the sudden recollection of (y/n)’s frigid, commanding tone and slicing glare he feels it skip a beat before it accelerates.

he shakes his head as his a rosy shade mantles his face, turning him as red as a tomato and it reaches the tips of his ears.

“crazy…” he mumbles to himself as the urge to make her mad at him once more occupies his head. it’s clear who prevails this time—and yet, he feels like he’s won something much better than what he bargained for.

spending time with him even during the mundanity (p.js)

jongseong absolutely adores and appreciates every moment he and (y/n) spend together. but what really gets to him is when she wants to spend her time together even for the most mundane of things—cooking, cleaning, having tea and crackers—all that everyday routine. there’s just something so heartwarming and touching about being domestic together.

“jayyy~” (y/n) sings as she skips through the corridor. jay smiles just from hearing her and turns to the girl—without losing focus on folding the last of their laundry—when she emerges.

“finished playing your game?” jay asks and slides the basket of neatly folded clothes to the side of the couch, smiling at (y/n).

the girl nods. “yup,” she casually says with a pop of the ‘p.’ her eyes glance at him who’s following her with his warm gaze before noticing the basket on the floor.

jay pulls his eyes away when she slips into the kitchen and starts playing his phone only to look back up just moments later when a hot drink gets quietly placed in front of him. his brows raise with surprise and confusion at (y/n) who wears a a small smile. “for me?”

“mhm. thought you’d want some,” she says and takes the space beside him. “biscuits?”

a warm, fuzzy sensation imbues and spreads from his chest to his limbs, like a drop of ink on plain fabric—colouring the dull, chalky cloth with bright hues. jay can’t stop the smile that spreads in his face, small dimple surfacing.

“thank you,” he bashfully says as he takes a cookie from her and lifts the mug to his cute, teeny lips—sneaking a side glance at the girl who sits while holding her mug on her knee, legs crossed and all.

despite his external silence, his head is loud with hopeful thinking of doing this again with (y/n). he’s already planning on making a hot drink for her first tomorrow, on buying more biscuits and crackers and cream buns—whatever it is to make her have this little tea time with him again. and again. and again and again and—basically what 2pm said.

when he’s her priority (s.jy)

jake absolutely adores it when (y/n) gives him her undivided attention. there are a lot of them in the group after all and it’s hard for her to focus on one when everyone’s talking, singing, dancing or pulling off whatever life-risking stunt there is.

so whenever he gets to have her all to himself, it makes him feel just a little bit smug and victorious.

“(y/n)~ play with my hair?” jake asks with a pout and bats his pretty eyes at her as he walks up to the girl who’s sitting criss-crossed on their living room as she watches the TV.

she chuckles and nods before going back to looking at the screen as he breaks out into a wide, happy grin—sitting down on the floor in front of her and melting instantly when he feels her fingers raking through his dark locks.

her motions are instinctive yet endearing—braiding and twirling his hair without so much as a glance—and her tenderness seeps through him. the soft tugs on his scalp is soothing, like a gentle massage and his eyes shut as they grow heavy.

“(y/n)~ can you help me with choosing a toy for maeum?” jungwon comes by and jake’s instantly alarmed. the apple in his throat bobs nervously as he dreads the idea of (y/n) leaving him—

“sorry, jungwon. i promised jake to do his hair so maybe, later?” (y/n) apologizes and wonnie looks down to his hyung. a small pout forms as he sees him getting pampered, suddenly wishing he grew out his hair so (y/n) will play with it.

but still, the leader digresses and flashes an assuring smile before leaving the two.

jake’s wide awake now. (y/n)’s rejection onto jungwon to stay with him, one and only sim jaeyun, being the main cause and he’s unable to stop the smile that stretches on his face—criss-crossed legs flapping up and down like the wings of the butterflies in his stomach as his heart knocks and gnaws violently against its cage.

“stop moving so much,” (y/n) chides playfully and jake giggles with a drawn out, chirpy “okay~”

the goofiest, cutest grin on his silly, gleeful face.

when she thinks of him even when he’s not around (p.sh)

“ooh! hoon would suit this!” (y/n) exclaims when she sees a keychain reminding her of sunghoon while out shopping in an en-o’clock episode. the said male member isn’t there since it’s her solo mission but once they watch it together, you better believe he’ll have a grin forming on his face.

a ticklish feeling occurs inside his chest like feathers have clogged up his lungs and are brushing his heart and he’ll turn to the girl who sits adjacent from him—though, separated by ni-ki and sunoo who sit between them. his smile broadens when he sees her looking at him as well.

one of his luxuriant dark brows raises at her, questioning or more exactly, endearingly teasing the girl for her little gesture that makes his chest tighten in a strangely enjoyable way and she’ll shrug with a cheeky smile. his lips part slightly, amused by her response before he turns back to the screen.

later on when the others aren’t around, he’ll bring it up again and even throws silly little jokes of “you missed me a lot, huh?” “can’t stop thinking about me, can you?” as he circles her in a controlled chaotic manner—like a little pup blocking her path.

or a cat who keeps brushing against your leg and will only stop either when they’re given a treat, or you trip and fall on your face.

“stop it!” she then giggles and he feels his joy doubling at hers, finally standing still as she fishes something out of her pocket. “here.”

dangling from her fingers is the keychain she mentioned in the en-o’clock episode they watched and sunghoon’s brows raise, eyes turn rounder and lips gaping slightly.

she actually got it for him.

“here you go. one and only for you,” (y/n) says and drops it onto his open palm.

“just me…” sunghoon mumbles much too quietly for her to discern and once again, he feels that same fluttery, sickeningly sweet feeling that both frees and squeezes his chest—if not stronger.

‘she thought of me,’ he thinks and lifts his gaze from the chain to her—ruffling her hair intensely and almost making a bird’s nest on her crown.

his fangs are showcased proudly as he beams, eyes upturning and charming chuckles rumbling.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི₊ ⊹ masterlist ᝰ.ᐟ✮⋆˙

𝜗𝜚 hi, it’s romi here!! thank you so much for reading to the end!! if you enjoyed it, don’t forget to leave a heart and reblog— they give me some motivation, ya know? but please do not spam like!! X♡X♡, romi ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

copyright © 2024 thinemoonshine all rights reserved

[cupidriki]

ENHYPEN FORGETTING YOUR BIRTHDAY. ( PART TWO )

GENRE fluff, angst, comfort, happy ending for all~ WARNINGS kissing, cursing. PAIRING enhypen x afab reader. STAR’S DAIRY listen I know I said this is fluff but I couldn't help it.. HEADPHONES PLAYING.. 505 by arctic monkeys, imperfect for you by ariana grande, i wish i hated you by ariana grande.

L.HS ★

“fuck fuck fuck, where are you love.” Heeseung's eyes were filled with tears, which spilled down his cheeks as he felt a strong sense of guilt and emptiness. He had been searching for you, but to no avail, and he kept cursing himself out in his head for not being able to locate you. The pain and anguish on his face were palpable, as he struggled to come to terms with the situation. Despite his efforts, he felt helpless and lost, not knowing where to turn next.

But then a memory hit his head. The place where you two met.

He saw you crying on a bench in front of a gorgeous river. He remembered going up to you and offering the donuts he just bought.

Immediately rushing to that area, his heart shattered into a million pieces.

Everyone viewed Heeseung as strong. But what made Heeseung crumble into pieces was you crying. Or just you in general. You were his biggest weakness.

As he walked past the park, his heart sank at the thought of never seeing you again. But when he saw you sitting on a bench, he felt a wave of relief wash over him, knowing that you were still around. However, that relief was tinged with sadness as he remembered the reason why you were crying, Him.

He approached you with a sense of hesitation, his steps slow and cautious. As he drew closer, you could see the uncertainty etched on his face. Finally, he dropped to his knees before you, his body language conveying a mix of vulnerability and desperation.

“I'm so sorry love. Please forgive me..”

Despite being angry, you couldn't help but feel a sense of powerlessness. Witnessing Heeseung's tears always had a profound effect on you, making you feel like you were falling apart. Heeseung was the one person who could break down your walls, and he was your biggest weakness.

Your anger being torn down, you pick him up from his knees and hug him tightly.

In the midst of tears streaming down both of your faces, Heeseung tenderly cups your face with his hands. He gazes into your eyes with a mixture of concern and affection before pulling you into a deep and passionate kiss. The intensity of the moment takes your breath away and for a moment, everything else fades away as you lose yourself in the warmth of his embrace.

P.JS ★

Worry was an understatement for what Jay was feeling right now. Jay already planned a fancy restaurant date and bought you a diamond necklace.

Jay was feeling incredibly foolish at the moment. He couldn't help but wish he had the power to turn back the clock and undo what caused you to become upset with him. The situation was weighing heavily on his mind, and he couldn't shake the feeling that he had let you down.

As he was driving down the road towards your house, his mind was weighed down by a heavy burden of thoughts. The weight of his worries seemed to be taking a toll on his driving abilities, making him somewhat nervous and jittery behind the wheel. The road ahead appeared blurry, and he found it hard to focus on the task at hand. The fear of crashing was looming large in his mind, as he struggled to keep his emotions under control while navigating the way to your place.

As he made his way to your doorstep, his heart raced with anticipation and anxiety. The weight of the emotions he had kept bottled up for so long became too much to bear, and tears began to stream down his face. He tried to wipe them away, but they continued to spill out uncontrollably. Finally, he stood in front of your door, taking a deep breath before ringing the bell, hoping beyond hope that you would be there to comfort him.

But when he entered your bedroom, His worst nightmare happened. you crying because of him.

As you were sitting there on your bed, tears streaming down your face, he felt a pang of sadness and empathy in his heart. He couldn't bear to see you in such distress, so he rushed towards you, enveloping you in a warm embrace. He held you tightly in his arms as if to shield you from the world and all its troubles. Your sobs gradually subsided as he whispered words of comfort and reassurance in your ear, reminding you that you were not alone and that he was sorry.

With all your pent-up frustration and anger, you hit his chest over and over again. But no matter how hard you hit his chest, he didn't react or leave. Just holding you and muttering out a thousand apologies.

“Shh, sweetheart, it's okay..”

“I know I'm sorry..”

As you struggle to keep your anger up, you eventually give up and drown in his warmth. You bury your face in his chest and hold him tightly, seeking comfort from his warmth and steady presence. Your sobs rack through your body, and you cling to him as if he were the only anchor in a stormy sea. Despite the pain and sadness you feel, his embrace brings a small measure of peace to your troubled heart.

“I'm sorry… I love you, Jay.”

“I love you more. remember that, yeah?”

Both of you drowning in each others warmth.

S.JY ★

Jake felt like an asshole.

He hurriedly dashed out of his front door, his eyes scanning the surroundings for any sign of you. He started running as fast as he could, his heart pounding with anxiety and anticipation. He kept running, his breaths becoming ragged and labored, as he searched for you on every corner of the street. His mind was filled with a sense of urgency and a desperate need to find you. And finally, after what felt like an eternity, he spotted you in the distance and sprinted towards you with a sense of relief and joy.

The sense of happiness and contentment that was flowing through his body suddenly dissipated the moment he saw you walking alone in the rain, fully prepared for the forgotten date, It was as if a dark cloud had descended upon him, casting a shadow over his previously joyous mood. The sight of you braving the rain all by yourself was enough to break his heart and leave him feeling empty inside.

As he rushed towards you, his heart pounding in his chest, he could feel his own desperation mounting. He needed to hold you, to feel your warmth and your presence, but as he wrapped his arms around you, he was hit by a wave of guilt. The sound of your sobs tore at his soul, making him feel like the worst person in the world. Despite his own pain, he couldn't bear to see you in distress, and he vowed to do everything in his power to make it right.

“I-i’m sorry..”

“Please, baby.. Forgive me.”

“I’ll do anything you want. Please just look at me..”

You still keeping your head low, he sobbed and sobbed waiting for a reply. Apologizing over and over again.

“Please..”

“P-please..”

As he stuttered through more desperate pleas and tearful begs, he felt like he was sinking into a bottomless pit of despair. But just when he thought he had hit rock bottom, he felt a warm embrace hugging him back. As he looked at you, he saw you looking up at him with eyes full of compassion and understanding. The feeling of your arms wrapped around him was like a lifeline, pulling him back from the brink of hopelessness and giving him the strength to pull you closer.

“It's okay Jake..”

Jake feeling a sense of relief and pure joy, he hugs you tighter in his arms, while the both of you are sputtering out a bunch of “I love you”s.

P.SH ★

Sunghoon felt depressed. Without you giving him any response, he was lost and worried. Not knowing where you are.

Typically, he was not one to display his emotions so openly in front of others, but at the thought of your absence, he found himself unable to hold back the flood of tears that were streaming down his cheeks. The mere thought of being without you was too much for him to bear, and he felt utterly overwhelmed by the intensity of his emotions.

Amidst his uncontrollable sobs, he pays no heed to the concerned words of his friends and hurriedly steps out of the door. His heart aches with a profound sense of longing for the warmth of your loving embrace, as he struggles to cope with the overwhelming emotions that have engulfed him. The tears continue to trickle down his face, blurring his vision and making it difficult for him to navigate his way through the world. All he can think of at this moment is how much he needs you, how much he craves the comfort and solace that only you can provide.

He looked everywhere. Your house, your favorite shops, where you two met, and even your friend's houses.

As he jogged around his neighborhood, feeling hopeless and lost in thought, an idea suddenly clicked in his head.

The beach, with its endless expanse of sand and sea, was the one place where he always took you to help you clear your mind and sort through your thoughts.

The salty breeze, the sound of waves crashing against the shore, and the warm sun on your skin all combined to create a peaceful and calming atmosphere, allowing you to escape the chaos of daily life and find a moment of clarity. Whether you walked along the shoreline, sat in the sand, or simply stared out at the horizon, the beach offered a sense of tranquility that was hard to find anywhere else.

As he hurried towards the beach, he experienced a mix of emotions that left him feeling both relieved and guilty. The relief came from the fact that he had finally found you but seeing you cuddled up while hugging your knees made him guilty.

As he stood there contemplating whether or not to approach you, his mind was filled with negative thoughts and doubts. However, he mustered up the courage to push those negative feelings aside and sat next to you.

“I-im sorry, my love..”

Looking up at you with desperate puppy eyes, you couldn't help but melt into his gaze.

“You’re lucky you're adorable.” before kissing his cheek.

K.SN ★

Sunoo wanted to drown himself. He couldn't believe he hurt a gorgeous and pure person like you.

Sunoo is in a state of desperation as he tries to call you repeatedly. His body is engulfed with a sense of worry and guilt that seems to weigh him down.

Desperately trying to hold back his tears, he quickly ran down the street to your house, his heart pounding in his chest. As he gasped for breath, he prayed that you were home, hoping that he would see you. Which he desperately needed. The weight of his troubles felt overwhelming, but he knew that with you there, he could find the strength to face them. Racing up to your front door, he banged on it with all his might, hoping that you would hear him and come to his aid.

After what seemed like an eternity, he noticed the doorknob turn and the door creak open. A pair of hesitant eyes peered out from behind the crack, and he could sense the trepidation in your body language. You seemed to be hiding behind the door, as if unsure of whether to let him in or not.

As he stood there, an overwhelming sense of desperation washed over him, causing tears to stream down his face uncontrollably. The weight of his emotions became too much to bear, and he sank to his knees, feeling completely helpless at that moment.

“Please, baby..” holding your hands while looking up at you.

As you see him kneeling before you, tears streaming down his face, your heart fills with empathy and compassion. Without hesitation, you reach out to him and pull him up into a warm embrace, holding him tightly. You feel the warmth of his body and the weight of his sadness, and you offer comfort and strength in this moment of vulnerability. As you hold him, you feel the tears running down your own cheeks, moved by the depth of his pain and the power of your connection. In this embrace, you share a moment of pure human emotion, transcending words and labels, and expressing the essence of love and compassion.

“It's okay.. Just don't do it again okay..?”

Y.JW ★

Jungwon didn't know what to do.

He spent weeks planning every detail of his surprise for you. He knew how much you loved your favorite restaurant, so he made sure to book a reservation at the best table in the house. He had carefully chosen a beautiful promise ring, one that he knew you would adore. As the night approached, he grew more and more excited, eager to see the look on your face when he presented you with the ring.

Jungwon had a stroke of bad luck when he forgot an important event - your birthday. Out of all the days in the year, this was the one day that he forgot, leaving him feeling incredibly guilty for his mistake. It was a significant day for you, and he failed to acknowledge it in any way, which only added to his remorse.

You weren't answering his multiple texts and calls and he was feeling hopeless.

With a sense of urgency, he sprinted towards your house, his heart beating faster than ever before. As he ran, he felt warm tears streaming down his cheeks, blurring his vision. The overwhelming emotions within him made him feel like he was drowning in a sea of despair. Yet, he pushed on, determined to reach your home as quickly as possible.

In a hurry, he inserted the spare key into the lock and quickly turned it, unlocking the door with a sharp click. Without wasting a second, he dashed towards your room, his heart beating wildly in his chest. The sound of his footsteps echoed through the hallway as he covered the distance in a frenzy, filled with urgency and concern. Finally reaching your door, he paused for a moment to take a deep breath before gently pushing it open, anxious to see if you were okay.

As soon as his eyes met yours, a strange sensation took over his body - as if all the energy had been drained out of him. He couldn't bear to see you in tears, it was painful to witness. The anguish in your eyes made him feel helpless, and he wished he could do something to take away your sorrow.

Jungwon approached you and you could sense the hesitation in his movements as he took a step closer. Despite the anger boiling within you, you didn't resist as he wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace. You both wept uncontrollably, holding onto each other as if your lives depended on it. It felt as though all the pent-up emotions had finally been released, and there was nothing left to do but hold each other and cry.

“I'm sorry darling.. Forgive me, please?”

As you finally make a decision, without a second thought, you reach out and gently place a hand on his cheek, turning his face towards you. You look deep into his eyes and give him a soft, sweet kiss, hoping to ease his mind and let him know that everything will be alright. As you pull away, you see a glimmer of relief in his eyes, and you feel a sense of contentment wash over you.

N.RK ★

this was Riki’s first time in love. Because of his busy idol life, he never really paid any attention to what love was and what it felt like.

As soon as he laid eyes on you, he couldn't help but feel a deep sense of connection. It was as if everything he had been searching for in life had finally fallen into place. Your smile, your laugh, the way you carried yourself - everything about you seemed to draw him in and captivate him. In that moment, he knew with absolute certainty that you were the one he had been waiting for. The one he would spend the rest of his life with.

As he sat there, his mind racing, he couldn't help but think that he might have lost you for good. The thought of not having you in his life was unbearable. He wondered if he should reach out to you and offer his heartfelt apologies for what he had done wrong, or if he should give you some space and time to process your emotions. It was a difficult decision to make, and he felt torn between wanting to make things right and not wanting to make matters worse.

So he did what he always did. Take a walk around the streets of Seoul to get his thoughts out of his mind. He entered a convience store and got your favorite flavor of cake. Hoping to give it to you when he found you.

The sight of you sitting all alone in an empty park and staring vacantly into the distance only made his already troubled thoughts worse. He couldn't help but wonder what might be going on in your mind and what could have brought you to that place. The silence of the park seemed to amplify the weight of his own thoughts, making him feel even more isolated and alone.

As you sat side by side, he hesitantly reached out and took your hand in his, his grip tight and reassuring. His eyes were fixed on you, filled with an intensity that revealed his unspoken feelings. He longed for you to turn and meet his gaze, to see the depth of his emotions reflected in your eyes. In that moment, the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you, lost in the quiet intensity of the moment.

As you took your hand off him, he eagerly grabbed the cake and brought it closer to you with a sad smile on his face. His eyes were shining with need, and he looked a young child showing his mom a new drawing he had just completed. The cake was beautifully decorated with colorful frosting and sprinkles, and it smelled heavenly. You could tell he had put a lot of effort into finding the perfect cake for you.

“I-i know that it isn't the best but..”

“I'm sorry.. I wish I could turn back time.”

As you reach for the cake, you do so silently, trying not to disturb the peace around you. You take a bite and feel the sweet taste melt in your mouth. With a feeling of contentment, you drop your head on his shoulder and take in the stunning view of the river in front of you. The sun is setting, and the sky is painted in hues of orange, pink, and purple, creating a spectacular canvas of colors. The water flows steadily, and you can hear the sound of gentle waves hitting the banks. You feel a sense of calm wash over you as you take in the beauty of the moment and share it with someone special.

“I’ll forgive you if you play royal high with me..”

THANK YOU FOR READING! <3

-written by rk1stars

TL - @cholexc

[squoxle]

Golden Rule - L.HS ff ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡

🎧 pairing: inexperienced!heeseung x badgirl!reader

🎧 summary: your cute and nerdy classmate lets you have your way with him in exchange for help on an assignment

🎧 cw: corruption and exhibitionism kink, oral (m. receiving), religious themes, mentions of bullying, college au, hee’s a bit subby

🎧 wc: 1.4k

You had been feeling horny for the entire week and knew you had to get your hands on some good dick or else you’d literally combust.

Introducing your person of interest: Lee Heeseung.

He was the type of guy you could guess everything about without even speaking to him. From his glasses, the way he tucked his ironed dress shirts into his belted pants, the way you only saw him either sitting with his legs crossed at a church sermon or studying his heart out at the library.

Heeseung was the epitome of a Christian nerd, but it was his insanely good looks that drew your attention to him in the first place.

You two first met at the beginning of the school semester, but you weren’t sure if you could call it a friendship just yet, especially not with the way you’d fantasize about him with your fingers between your legs every night.

It currently 6:00pm: the same time he’d come to the library to study every week day.

“What’re you working on,” you asked, taking a seat beside him at the table.

“Nothing much. Mr. Sweeney gave me this stupid hand written essay that I have to turn in by tomorrow, so I’ll be pretty busy for the next few hours.”

“What for? I thought Mr. Sweeney taught Bible. There aren’t any writing assignments for that class.”

That’s honestly the only reason why you took Bible class this semester.

“He does, but this isn’t a part of the curriculum. It’s a punishment for the prank I pulled on Jake and his crew yesterday… let’s just say, I didn’t get away with it as easily as planned.”

“Oh, so you do have a naughty side?”

“Hardly,” he sharply defended, “All I did was swap their video game discs out with episodes of The Brady Bunch on dvds. But, Sunghoon snitched, so now I’m here.”

“Tough.”

“I know. It’s not like I don’t deserve it, anyways.”

“Nobody deserves to be bullied, Hee. Those guys were assholes and you stood up for yourself! They’re the ones who should be playing Shakespeare for the night,” you argued passionately.

His eyes widened at your use of a swear word, such language that was forbidden by your university code of conduct.

“I appreciate you taking sides with me, but please don’t call it bullying. Makes me feel all… soft, and… vulnerable,” he cringed at his own words.

“You look pretty soft and vulnerable to me,” you mumbled, hungry eyes falling to his pouty lips.

“Excuse me?”

You cleared your throat, “Uhm, what’s the paper on?”

“The Golden Rule.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “The what?”

“Loving your neighbors as yourself? You should really pay more attention during Mr. Sweeney’s sermons.”

You chuckled at his comment, nudging him on the shoulder, “Hey, maybe I would if he wasn’t so damn boring… How many pages does it have to be?”

He sighed, “10 at least.”

Having to come of with 10 pages worth of “Golden Rule” greatness sounded much more challenging than you knew it actually was.

All he had to do was write in VERY BIG LETTERS.

You peered over his shoulder, examining the paper. He was just getting started on page two.

“Hmm. We have similar handwriting,” you added, making Heeseung look at you with his desperate doe eyes.

“Oh my God, ____! You have to help me!”

“Watch out, church boy. The pastor might make it 11 pages if he hear’s you calling the Lords name in vain.”

“Ughhhh,” his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he groaned, “Can you please just help me out?”

“Uh-huh, and why would I do that?”

“Look, I’ll do anything! You’re a way stronger writer than I am, and my brain is in the verge of kermitting suicide!!”

He was right. Writing was never a strong subject of his, so he really did need your help.

“Fine,” you gave in, looking around the library before whispering in his ear, “If you can be quiet while I suck you off until you finish page two, I’ll do the rest.”

His eyes widened in disbelief, “What?”

“You heard me,” you said cattily, sneaking under the table and between his legs.

“____, get from down there!! This is inappropriate!”

“Says who,” you giggled, unbuckling his leather belt.

“We’re not a married couple, ____. Hell, We’re not even dating!” He whisper-yelled from above the table, fidgeting with the pencil in his hand.

You could feel how tense he was just my touching his thighs, “You’ve never been approached like this before, have you?” You asked yet stated.

He took a deep swallow, already feeling himself throbbing in his pants, “Of course not… I’m trying to save myself here, y’know?”

“Aww, that’s cute,” you pouted, rubbing his bulge through his boxers.

“F-fuhh,” he mumbled, screwing his eyes shut at the feeling, “I don’t know if I can do this, ____.”

“With God, all things are possible, Hee! You should really pay more attention during Mr. Sweeney’s sermons,” you mocked, shimmying his boxers down to his ankles.

You adjusted yourself under the table before grabbing a hold of his impressively large dick, starting with gentle pumps.

“I’m not hearing the pencil penciling, Hee. Be a good boy and keep writing,” you slithered in a sing-song voice, licking a stripe up his shaft. The foreign texture of your tongue sent pleasurable shivers down his spine.

“____,” he cried with a surpressed moan, “how am I supposed to focus when you’re down there doing that?!” He worried, looking around as if waiting for someone to catch you two.

You released your lips from his heat with a pop, “Down here doing what, Hee? Sucking your virgin dick in the library? I always knew you had a naughty side.”

“Mmm,” he moaned again, rutting his hips up into your mouth, “please tell me you’re almost done, ____.”

You grinned at the sound of his begging, feeling yourself grow wetter with each second you spent between his legs, “Depends on if you either finish that last page or cum in my mouth first.”

Taking him past your lips again, you bobbed your head up and down, stroking the remaining inches you couldn’t fit comfortably in your mouth.

He tried his best to keep writing, but with that way you were sucking him off, his hands couldn’t help but drop the pencil before getting lost in your hair.

“Fuck,” he whined, finally letting the word come out.

He started to use your head like a toy as you sucked him in even harder, “just like that, baby. Please don’t stop.”

You were surprised by how his body slowly submitted to you the more you pleasured him.

Meanwhile, he was surprised that this was actually even happening. You moaned with the gag that tried to escape your throat, clinging to his thighs as your tried to hold in your sounds.

Your eyes started to poke with tears as he used your head more aggressively than before, finally shooting his warm load down your mouth, panting as if he’d just ran a marathon.

“Shh, you’re so noisy,” you teased, stroking him to a point of overstimulation.

“Okay, that’s enough,” he whimpered, taking your hands in his to stop your ministrations.

You licked the cum that dripped from your mouth before pulling his pants back up, getting from under the table.

You fixed your hair with your hands after literally just getting your face fucked by your sweet classmate, taking in his hot and bothered frame.

“How was it?” You asked casually, sitting next to him as if nothing happened.

You tried to ignore the sticky moisture that stuck to your thighs from your own arousal, figuring that you’d think about this moment while you pleased yourself later.

“Amazing,” he said with a shaky breath, still feeling his orgasm fresh in his veins.

“I’m taking about the page you just wrote, silly,” you teased, moving the sheet of paper closer to you before examining what he came up with, “Dude!”

“What, dude?” He asked back with flushed and sleepy features.

“This is garbage!” You exclaimed, ripping the piece of paper in half.

“Yeah, I don’t know why you would’ve expected anything different.”

“Gimme that,” you retorted, snatching the pencil from his hand, “I’m gonna need some coffee to write all these pages for ya…”

“Ugh,” he groaned, understanding that you were indirectly asking him to get you something to drink.

“Iced?”

“Always.”

He got up from the seat, searching through his backpack before pulling out his wallet, “Thanks by the way,” he smiled, trailing to the library exit.

“What can I say? It’s the Golden Rule,” you replied, jotting down the first of many sentences you’d write for Lee Heeseung, the guy you just blessed with the best blow job of his life.

❀ Thank you all so much for reading! Make sure to check out other works on my masterlist!

❀ 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝:

@chlorinecake @hoyeonheeseung @sussyjake @furious-eagle @cherrriesss @abbyizzy @weyukinluv @addictedtohobi @thatonenoona @wavykook @givemeyourtmihyun @jaeljn @hoonmywk @valennshit @19-yunalyn @hoonbby @frostedblankets @hoonsyo @no-mannerism @perfectxserendipity @chubbibish @ihrtlix @bunniesforsoobin @thereadersparadise @thatbooknerdfr @aiden2001 @belongstoheeseung @jakeybabe @donut-crazs @rizzhee @nikimeows @woonieees @uarmyxtae @rebecca-johnson-28 @they2luv1naia @isa-2007 @silcry @riverscafe @pearlwhitesoul @nikohiroshi @thatbooknerdfr @wonniewonwon

[lottiepoursherheartout]

if you want to know what love feels like, look at the world around you. look at all it’s broken intricacies. the cracks that seem to deepen every time the powerful trample our impoverished or prey on our most vulnerable of species. what holds everything from falling through? what could possibly be strong enough to confuse gravity and close wounds forged over millions of years? in all this pitiful desperation what prevails? that is love.

l.h.

[solaceinbooks]

Cruelty is easy, and it breeds only misery. Kindness is harder, and you have to be brave to give it. To be cruel, you can stay closed off from everyone, wear a mask, but to be kind, in essence, to show love, you have to make yourself vulnerable, show your true self to someone and open yourself up to rejection.

L.H. Cosway, The Nature of Cruelty

[loverofthine]

vulnerable l.h. - energy drink

There were many occasions on which Seph had an issue staying awake. That day was like any other.

She had fallen asleep in the previous class, although when the person next to her stood, barely missing her shoulder with his huge backpack, she practically jumped up. With a yawn, she shut her laptop and glanced up, meeting a withering stare from her professor. This was not the first time she'd fallen asleep in that class, but to be fair, she had a lab class before, where she hardly got the time to sit down. And her Classic Lit class was just so boring sometimes. They were reading the Iliad, which Seph had read several times before, so she dozed off often. She'd never gotten less than a 75% on any quiz.

Seph pulled her backpack over her shoulder, stifling a yawn to nod at her professor on her way out. With her long legs and fast pace, she exited the lit building before anyone from her class, mostly because they had friends to talk to.

"Seph!" She bristled at the sharp wind, and pulled her coat closer to her body. If she heard the person call her name, she didn't let it show. The person called her name two more times as they approached, but Seph continued towards the union, humming along to her music softly. "Squish!" Someone snatched her arm, effectively pulling her earbud from her ear and yanking her off the path.

"Jesus, Ash, you could've done that nicer." Seph muttered, rolling her eyes. She tucked her earbuds into her pocket with a huff. "What?"

Ashton raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms, as if there was something he was catching Seph for. "Class?" Cursing, Seph shut her eyes and leaned her head back. She and Ashton had their final class of the day next, and she had definitely forgotten. Ashton cocked his head to the side, eyebrows tilting up sympathetically. "You didn't sleep again."

"It's not like I'm not trying," Seph protested, allowing Ashton to take her arm and lead them down the pavement. "I'm just," She trailed off with a sigh.

"Struggling." Ashton finished. They'd had this conversation time upon time, since Seph's problem had developed in high school. "I know. Class's only an hour, and then I'll let you go." Ashton was a great notetaker, and would occasionally allow Seph to skip, but very rarely. "Unless you want to go get noodles."

That was tempting. Seph, Ashton, and Seph's brother went out on payday nearly every month, but Seph had gotten a surprisingly large tip the night before, and had promised to take them out within the week.

Ashton and Seph had been friends since Seph and her twin brother, Michael, were born. For their entire lives, the three had been the best of friends, so much so that when Seph was accepted into her first choice university, Ashton and Michael weren't far behind.

Even stepping into the lecture hall, Seph felt her tiredness weigh further on her shoulders. Ashton led her towards the back of the hall, where hopefully, he'd be able to shake Seph awake if she fell asleep, which was more than likely.

Approaching his group of peers, Ashton slapped his palm against one of his friend's. He and Seph took their normal spots. Just after class began, a boy skulked up the aisle, slumping into the seat next to Seph. She flashed Ashton a look - it wasn't as big a class as most 200s, so there were plenty of empty seats - but he said nothing, just lifted his shoulders. The stranger next to her kept his head down and didn't carry any books, just pulled out his phone and began scrolling through something.

"Seph." Seph wrinkled her nose, nestling further into her bed. Priya had been warned not to wake her, unless there was blood, or unless she was late, but Seph couldn't hear her alarm clock, so she figured she had time. "Seph." Priya called again, more urgently this time. If it had been worthy of waking up, she would have been yelling, so Seph drowned her out and turned away. Her bed smelled different, but a good different. Priya muttered something, but in her, for once, peaceful slumber, Seph continued tuning her out. "Kore!" Priya didn't know that name. As a matter of fact, the only people who knew that name were Ashton and Michael.

Seph jolted up. She was still in the lecture hall, but it had mostly cleared out. The only people around were Ashton and his friends, and the stranger, who stared at Seph with an amused look. Her cheeks heated, and she stood instantly.

The guy, who she hadn't been able to see before, was shockingly attractive, with eyes she would describe as the color of her walls at home - aegean blue - and curly blond hair. Seph was sure she'd seen him around before, but couldn't be sure until he stood. He was over six feet tall, and towered over Ashton, who still sat.

"Sorry about that, man." Ashton said, hurriedly, as he stood. "Um, if you want to sit here next time, I'll make sure Seph doesn't sleep on you again." He continued, offering a chuckle as he nudged Seph's shoulder.

"Yeah, sorry." She muttered, avoiding the stranger's gaze.

The boy waved their apologies off, and finally met Seph's eyes. "It's all good." Seph hadn't been expecting such an easygoing grin. "It wasn't that bad, actually," His grin turned a bit more mischievous. "At least, until the drooling." With a soft chuckle, he spun on his heel and started back down the aisle towards the door, only lifting a hand in farewell when Ashton said goodbye.

"Oh my God." Seph muttered, falling back into her seat and burying her head in her hands.

Ashton laughed softly, leaning down to pat her on the back. "Kore, it's okay. I don't think he was mad." He assured her, once all of his friends had gone.

With a withering look, Seph turned her glare to Ashton, scowling at him. "And stop calling me that, I hate it." Only her family called her Kore, related to the fact that her mother was overly enthused with Greek literature. Ashton only knew because he was almost always at their house, and overheard her and Michael's parents using it.

"Maybe if you pay attention better I wouldn't have to use it." He retorted with a grin. Seph deflated, and with a cackle, he pulled her up. "C'mon, Mike'll meet us at your dorm." He said, pulling her down the aisle.

"What's the matter with you?" Michael asked with a chuckle as Seph and Ashton approached. His grin widened as they got closer, and he wrapped his arm around his sister's shoulders. "Don't pout, Squish." He urged, nudging her gently when she reached out to scan her keycard.

Seph tried to tune the boys out as she stalked down the corridor to her room. She did, however, pick up on the fact that Ashton definitely clued Michael in to at least some of what happened, or she figured from the raucous laugh Michael let out at one point.

"Stay." She ordered, upon swinging the door to her dorm open. Ashton and Michael inched up to the doorway, but obeyed, only peering into the room.

Seph and her roommate, Priya, had an odd relationship. They weren't really friends, but they got along well, and Priya let Michael and Ashton come over every now and then, but she preferred to have their room as a sanctuary. For once, Seph was actually a little happy to have a reason to have a place to herself. She and Michael had always shared a room, and the only time she could recall having a room to herself was when their parents took them and Ashton on a trip, and Michael and Ashton had shared a room.

"Hey, are you working tonight?" Priya asked, looking up from her desk. Both of them were good studiers, but Seph worked a lot more than Priya did. "I didn't expect to see you back here."

"I'm going out to eat with Mike and Ash, you want to come?" Seph offered, dropping her backpack at the foot of her bed. It was still made from the two days prior.

For once, Priya nodded and stood, abandoning the notes she'd been working on. "You wouldn't believe how weird this day has been." She sighed, grabbing her purse from where both of theirs hung in the closet.

"Oh, I think it's been a weird day for us all." Seph chuckled, mimicking Priya's actions to grab her own purse.

"That took forever." Michael muttered, once Priya and Seph emerged, groaning as if it hadn't been less than five minutes since Seph had gone in. "Hey, Priya." He nodded in greeting as the four of them started down the hallway. A few girls poked their heads out to greet Seph and Priya as they passed, but Michael, who knew almost everyone, greeted everyone who came down the hall. Several of them he knew because his and Ashton's dorm was the floor just above.

~

"So, Kei was talking about this new gaming bar that just opened up." Ashton said once they had settled into their table at Seph's favorite noodle bar.

Priya looked up from the menu with a bemused grin. "Yeah, have you forgotten that none of us can drink yet?" She asked, grin widening as Seph chuckled and bumped her fist against Priya's.

Ashton scowled and flicked a crumpled up piece of paper across the table to Priya. "Anyway," He continued, rolling his eyes. "They have some fun mocktails," He emphasized, turning to glare at Priya, who chuckled and looked away. "But you can just grab a table and they have games you can play."

"There's also this movie I wanted to go see," Michael said, nearly interrupting Ashton. He turned to Seph, and bumped her shoulder with one of his knuckles. "It's an adaptation of that book, you know the one," He paused and turned to Ashton. "We used to read it all the time." Both Ashton and Seph shrugged, glancing at each other. "Oh, whatever, it's out now, and I think we should go see it." He finished, flapping his hand unconcerned.

"Well, anyway, Seph, I'm surprised you got the night off of work." Priya observed, taking a sip of the juice the waiter had brought.

It was rare that there was a day Seph didn't work, even more than Ashton, who worked at the same restaurant. She nodded at a person who walked in, her lab partner from freshman year, before responding. "Yeah, I covered for Lucy a few days last week, so she took today, and she's taking tomorrow too."

Chuckling, Ashton patted his friend's head. "Lucky you, with a free day, all to yourself. And some of us have to come in early." Seph covered her mouth to prevent laughing too loudly. "You'd think my manager would like me more." She could no longer control her giggles, and glanced up at Ashton, chuckling rather carelessly. Seph was one of the team leads at their restaurant, and since she was a student, it fell to her to schedule everyone from the same school, and although it was not a targeted offense to schedule Ashton to come in early, he really liked to milk it.

"Calum! Hey, mate, good to see you." Michael said, over the top of Ashton and Seph's heads. They had to turn behind them to find a familiar face.

Seph stared at the boy from earlier, who looked the same as before, save for a band aid on the top of his cheek. He and his friend, apparently, recognized Michael based on the way they grinned and waved. Despite their grins, Seph's cheeks burned, and she spun back around in her chair to sink down, hoping the boy wouldn't recognise her. Priya cocked her head to the side, but Seph just shook her head.

Twin telepathy was definitely not a thing, based on the way that Michael waved the unfamiliar pair over. When Seph kicked him harshly in the shin, Michael only cursed, but said nothing else.

"'Sup, Luke?" Michael greeted, pulling his friend in for a swift hug and bumping his fist against the other boy's fist. "You guys want to eat with us?" He offered, gesturing to the empty table next to theirs. "We only just ordered."

The two boys glanced at one another before shrugging. The shorter one went to find a waiter to make sure they could move the tables together, and once he had gotten approval, he came back to move the table closer. Seph sunk further in her chair, hoping Ashton might get the memo and offer to move.

"Luke, Cal, this is Ashton," Michael introduced, once the newcomers had taken their seats. Luke sat next to Seph, thanks to Michael's persuasion, despite his sister's silent glare. Ashton reached over Seph's head to wave at the two.

"I'm Calum, and Luke's over there pouting." Calum said with a chuckle, nodding to Luke, who had his nose buried in his phone. "He's had a rough go of it today." He whispered, as if Luke couldn't hear any of them.

Luke, with a glare in Calum's direction, finally put his phone away and looked to Ashton, to finally greet him. He recoiled shortly in surprise, pointing at Ashton. "Oh, hey, it's you. Long time no see." He glanced down at the girl trying her hardest to become invisible. "Sleeping Beauty, napping again?"

Michael glanced between Luke, Ashton, and Seph, turning to Priya to lift his eyebrows in confusion, but she only shrugged. "You know each other?"

Seph buried her head in her hands, and Ashton patted her shoulder, looking to Luke to explain. "We met in class earlier." He summarized, glancing down at Seph, who still avoided eye contact.

"Oh, well, Calum, this is my sister, Seph." Michael said, after an awkward pause.

"Steph?"

"Seph." Ashton interrupted, before Michael could correct him. "No t."

Calum turned to Seph, who kept her head down, only glancing up slightly to wave. "Seph's an interesting name. Is it short for something?"

Seph looked up, suddenly, at Ashton, who was grinning. "Oh, why, yes, actually," He began, with a wide grin. Michael and Seph shared a frantic look and Ashton was cut off by both of Seph's hands coming up to cover his mouth. His words were muffled by her hands, and Priya was the only one to actually know what he had said, but it wasn't news to her.

"Ashton Irwin, I swear to God." She warned, fixing him with a stoney glare. "We've been over this." Seph hated her full name, possibly even more than she hated Kore, but it was Ashton's favorite thing to tease her about.

~

"C'mon, Squish, it's not that hot." Michael teased, leaning across the table to smirk at his sister.

Seph scowled, setting her drink down on the table with a thud. "You wanna try it?" She dared, pushing her bowl towards him. Seph had the highest pain tolerance of several of them, except maybe Priya, who tended to stay away from spicy things, anyway. Because of this, she had ordered the spiciest ramen available, but most of the ramen she enjoyed wasn't so bad.

Michael immediately paled and shook his head. Priya mimicked his action when Seph glanced at her, nodding towards the noodles. "I'll keep some taste buds today." She said, sharing a giggle with Ashton.

"I'll try it."

Seph turned to Luke, not expecting him to have volunteered. He had remained mostly silent for the duration of their meal, and she couldn't help but worry if it was her fault. Based on the cocky grin he wore, she deduced it was probably not.

"It's probably not that bad." He tempted, inching towards Seph. She glanced around, but everyone else was entranced by a story Priya was telling. "So, c'mon, Princess." He said, eyebrows cocking upwards. "Or are you worried it's not that bad?"

"Go ahead." Seph retorted, pushing the bowl towards Luke, leaning back in her chair. Silently, he shook his head and pointed towards his mouth. Seph arched an eyebrow. He wasn't really going to make her feed him.

After a moment of staring each other down, Seph sighed, and resolved to making Luke a bite, offering him her spoon. He, begrudgingly, accepted the spoon from her hands and took a bite, returning it to her. For a moment, his grin remained steady, leaning back in his own seat. After a few more beats, however, his grin shook, and he turned away to gulp. At this, Seph giggled, covering her mouth and taking another bite of her noodles.

"So, is she overreacting?" Calum asked his friend, leaning forward with a grin that he shared with Seph.

Luke leaned back and crossed his arms, and he would've looked cool - Seph thought he had a cocky aura that made him attractive - if it weren't for his red cheeks. "Yeah, it's fine." He panted, fingers drumming on the table. He was not good with spice, and had gotten much too over his head.

Seph shook her head, chuckling as she leaned her chin on her hand, watching Luke's face redden. "Hot enough for you, Princess?" She teased, biting her lip in a grin when his eyes watered. If it had been Ashton or Michael, she would have been crying with laughter, but she didn't know Luke nearly as well, and although he had teased her, she didn't feel like doing the same. For the most part.

"You know what?" Luke croaked after downing an entire glass of water. He pointed his long finger at Seph, close enough that the tip of his finger brushed the tip of her nose, which raised her eyebrows, but neither of them said anything more about it. "You-" He cut himself off, ducking his head to avoid anyone seeing his eyes water with the heat. "Goddamn."

"What'd you do to him, Squish?" Ashton asked upon the collective realization that Luke was suffering over something. Calum had watched the interaction with rapt attention, but Ashton, Michael, and Priya had been chatting about something completely unrelated.

Seph shrugged, leaning back in her seat. "Nothing that he didn't deserve." At that, Luke turned up to scowl at her, and a pang of guilt shot through her stomach. "Sorry, dude." She offered, carefully glancing down at Luke.

"So, Seph, what's your major?" Calum asked, leaning his head on his hand to grin at her. Luke was still struggling, but he was generally pushed to the side, except for Michael, who was nearly crying with laughter. "Mike mentioned you're here on a scholarship."

With a glare towards Michael – who didn't even recognize his sister's stare – Seph glanced back towards Calum. "Yeah, I'm actually double majoring in musical theater and classics." Or, as hers and Michael's grandmother referred to it, the two most useless majors.

"Oh, so you sing?" Calum continued, disregarding the poisonous way Ashton was staring at him.

Seph's cheeks reddened, and she ran a hand through the ends of her hair. "Uh, yeah. I guess."

"That's really cool. You know-"

"Squish, did you see the gaming bar Kei was talking about?" Ashton interrupted, grabbing Seph's arm to pull her towards him, thrusting his phone in her face. He scowled at Calum, but if the latter noticed, he didn't react.

Nodding absent-mindedly, Seph scrolled through the listing. "Yeah, looks really cool, Ash. We should go tonight." She turned her attention back to Calum. "D'you two wanna come to this bar with us later?"

Luke finally looked up, eyes raking over Seph, and then to Michael. "Are you even old enough to drink?" He asked with a soft chuckle.

Seph scowled, arching an eyebrow. "It's a gaming bar." Suddenly, she empathized with Ashton for Priya's prior teasing. "You know, with games?"

"We'd love to join." Calum said, before Luke could fire back the retort that waited on the tip of his tongue. "But I work early, so I'll probably have to leave before midnight."

"Oh, we all do." Michael assured him with a confident grin.

"Except for Seph. You can stay out all night." Priya added, grinning at her roommate, which earned her a scowl. They both knew Seph was going home and sleeping for forever. If she could fall asleep. "So, which club are you going to?" She teased, sticking her tongue out at Seph, who responded in kind.

Seph sighed, and rolled her eyes. "Luke's also free tonight, maybe you two should do something." Calum added, before Seph could refuse. At Luke's scorn, Calum defensively raised his hands. "Dude, it's a joke, you guys don't have to."

Scowling, Seph nudged Ashton over to slip out of the hightop. "I'm going to wash my hands." She grumbled, tossing her hair over her shoulder before heading away from the table.

The restroom was peacefully quiet, with the exception of soft music playing over the speakers. Seph leaned down to splash her face with cool water, sighing softly and running a hand through her hair. She hadn't been able to rest at all, even on the bus, when she could normally fall asleep on Ashton for a minute, so the cool water was to combat the sagging of her eyelids, as well as the warm cheeks that were a side effect of the spicy noodles.

She poked at the bags permanently under her eyes, made worse by her lack of sleep, sighing when they didn't magically disappear. With a sniff, she leaned back, pulling her ponytail out to shake her hair down her back.

Seph should've had an energy drink before she left that morning.

[itsthe-neo-zone]

Hurt me like hell - L.HS 

lee heeseung x reader

TW: 18+ Sexual content, Corruption, mentions of making out, fingering, biting, mentions of voyeurism, mentions of blood, choking, supernatural au, vampire heeseung au!, 

please proceed with caution 18+ content ahead, do not read if you are underage. 

It wasn’t safe, but then again you never thought of safety when you thought of him. the only feeling that came to mind was the euphoric dream, the sensual realm of his existence, 

lee heeseung was a drug you wouldn’t ever be able to give up.

Blood was your life source, the glowy rare liquid was scarce. In a world where it ran through your veins if you were a being of normality. A day walker, you were vulnerable, but you always knew that wasn’t your realm. Even if you were born into it.

But the rest of humanity didn’t get a taste of the mind numbing, brain inducing high that was heeseung.

When there was a choice between listening to your salvation, the truth in his world and following the righteous path or being killed for breaking the simple rules of your kind, you’d very much take the trip down to the obsidian pits of doom.

You’d gladly fall down, off grace and sin for him. Breaking each and every rule let you feel more and more pleasure.

With each cry for help and beg from your family to go back to the good ways you became more and more corrupted. Your purity and innocence robbed away from you with full consent.

Like now, you were currently smashed against your childhood rooms wall thrashing against it as whines and screams of pleasure left your lips. 

At the beginning you were more cautious of the lewd sounds leaving your room, but then you realised the red eyed demon before you wasn’t going to allow that.

“Come on sweetheart, let me hear every single inch of virtue leave your soul.” His voice surpassed the physics of this world ringing inside your head.

The smirk was evident on his face, burying his head into your neck, the gush of blood was so close, heeseung licked a stripe up following the flow of the flooding veins.

“Your blood, it’s absolutely exquisite.” Slipping his fingers down he touched you where you needed the most, the pain eased it's sharp panging slowly dissipating as he turned the uncomforting into an intense surge of pleasure.

Throwing your head back, it slams against the wall. “Please.” You barely gasp, “Take me, please.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll do more than that, i’ll break you. Steal every inch of you for myself.” he hissed the last part almost as a reminder to himself, Heeseung’s eyes flashed red, you could barely see clearly, his lips snatching every breath and moan that left your soft lips. Grasping your jaw, he moved his lips against yours, not giving you a second to register anything that’s happening.

Your eyes fluttered open trying to focus but heeseung was overwhelming you. His entire existence demanded your attention.  

“Look at you,” he chuckled baring his perfect pearly teeth, “All broken and helpless for me.” He feigned sorrow for a moment “All for me.” mumbling, a hand sneaking up. His long bony fingers wrapping around your supple neck fitting like a necklace of bones made to be worn by you. Peering up at him you could see his towering figure.

His eyes were diluted brewing with desire, fangs already so close to piercing the last barrier that was his bottom lip as he tried to regulate his breathing.

“Good girl,” he whispered hearing your moans go more breathier as he tightened.

“Yes- ple… please, more--” the gratification you were getting from watching him look down at you and pleasure you hungrily, was intense. Almost enough to make you squirt like a pervert.

“Getting off to this?” his fingers tightened even more, at this point he could feel your insides,  “Having the door of your room open? Hmm? knowing I could destroy you right now?” he grinned, watching you fight for the last bit of air left.

He sighed, letting go almost instantly as he breathed right at your lips sharing his own breath. Heeseung wanted you as his, an immense feeling of dominance surged through him, wanting to mark you from the inside not just the outside.

You felt him consume you, your knees getting weaker by the minute. Heeseungs fingers travelled down the expanse of your torso, sending shivers up your back. He hoisted you up pushing against the wall to keep you up.

You closed the barrier pushing your lips against him, he pushed yours open giving him access to your tongue, clashing together, teeth pushing against his sharp ones.

Who knew sinning was so euphoric, it almost felt illegal that you were going to be denied all of this pleasure.

Breaking the kiss. Arms wrapped around him. “Please fuck me.” Your eyes immersed in his crimson ones.

“Please,”

“My pleasure,” he whispered smirking as he prepared himself to push into you. You dropped your head feeling him enter you.

“Shit, so tight.”

Your forehead was resting against his shoulder, breathing sharply as you clawed at his clothes feeling the stretch, he kept pushing in, “Taking me so well. Fuck, princess.”

Once he was at the hilt, only then did heeseung notice that his left shoulder was wet. your tears were soaking in a little patch of his unbuttoned shirt.

“Hush, you’re doing so well for me.” He rubs your back soothingly, underneath your ripped top. He gave you a moment to adjust to his size.

Heeseung couldn’t help but grin like a creep, god did it turn him on even more seeing you cry. So weak and fragile.

He lifted your head unable to control the thirst he has anymore.

Heeseung watched your tears fall down your face as he pushed you farther up, fuck it fuelled him even more looking at your flushed expression and puffy eyes.

Nuzzling your neck, he kisses the skin above the main artery. “Close your eyes.”

You do as he says, the tears momentarily stopping. You take in a sharp inhale. But as soon as you do the exhale comes out in the form of a sensual moan. The pain felt below no longer remembered as he distracts you with the euphoric daze of being drank from.

Sparks erupted from beneath your eyelids. The heavy feeling you once felt being lifted up no longer there as your fingers grasped onto him, you were anxious this emotion would be taken away from you along with all the other feelings you had felt a moment ago.

“Fuck Hee yes, yes. m-mmore--uh.” He smirked at the sounds you were letting out. Heeseung started moving inside of you, his hips thrusting upwards slightly.

“Heeeh--s-seung.” You drawled out his name, fingers finding grasp in his hair at the nape of his head. You pulled him closer moving your head farther to the side to allow him access.

He sucked at the last bit, before pulling out his fangs, leaving you dazed. Your eyes had clouded slightly. Not noticing the horrendous sight of your oldest brother Jake at your doorway.

He grinned at him flashing his eyes red again. Lips smeared with your crimson blood.

“He’s a vampire.” he gasped. Your brother tried entering but heeseung had blocked the doorway. the inpenetrable force pushing him back. 

He was unable to enter and save your innocence. Jake trembled back, seeing your eyes flash black. You were a lost cause in your parents eyes, a child that fell into darkness.

Your whines increased in volume when heeseung started moving faster pistoling into you deeper.

“Can you feel me princess?” he pulled your fingers lower right above him sheathed letting you feel the length of him inside you.

you mumble unable to form coherent words. “I fuck you so well you’ve turned completely dumb?” you nod mindlessly, moans and whines shamelessly leaving your lips. You strained to stop yourself from reaching your high so soon.

“No words because you’re too fucked out from my cock?” he licked his lips, pushing your hair aside as he bit down onto your collarbone.

You felt the knot slowly begin to coil and tangle itself with each thrust, he groaned into your ear gulping down the blood that was seeping down your skin.

“I—Heeseu-uh. I’m, fuck I’m going to—”

“I know baby, I know.” He thrusted a few more before watching the coil inside you unravel speedily and burst.

“Cum for me princess,” Riding out your high, you hold onto him tightly, moaning his name as you’ve been reduced to the few syllables.

Blood smeared across the two of you as he threw his head back, clutching you tightly he thrusted into you a few more times his low growls were heavenly as you watched him fall back into his high. “Please fill me.” 

Releasing his seeds inside you deeply he painted your inner walls, marking you his.

You whine feeling filled to the brim. Heeseung continues fucking himself into you deeper, screams of overstimulation left you as you gripped onto his shoulders tighter holding yourself up. 

your fingers grabbed onto anything you could find nails digging crecents into his supple skin and the flesh of your palms. 

lips tight and pressed toegether making the peach rose colour slowly drain. 

You drop your forehead down against his kissing him deeply. Trying to convey every feeling you hold for him inside you that can possibly be felt from a mortal. Passionate and intense and everything you wanted it to be, he softly smirked against you.

Message received.

“I love you, Heeseung.” You whisper shuddering from the empty shallow feeling you get once he slips out.

“Love you too ____.” He bit down onto your lips, pulling slightly before reluctantly releasing. Letting you down and onto your feet he lets go for a second only to catch you again from dropping instantly to the floor.

“My legs—” “Yeah, my bad.” He slyly grinned lifting you upwards.

“Guess I just fuck you too well.” Your face heats up at his words. 

So to reiterate again, if you were ever given a choice between anything, everything and heeseung, there was no question you’d pick heeseung.

And you’d gladly fall from grace for him a million more times if necessary.  

~~~~~

(First time writing something smut related, give me a break over it, this was super rushed too lol.

Also safe sex is the best sex, use protection pls)

Seola - It’s the neo zone © All rights reserved.

[heartcal]

“who do you believe?”; l.h. (pt. ii)

oh my GOD it’s here, it took longer than expected but she’s finally here! after the eye strain i got a sty so that threw me in for a loop, but the good news is my eyes are better! and i’m fully vaccinated too! please get the vaccine if you are able to :^) enjoy!

a/n: (formatting again lol) there’s a part where there’s supposed to be texts (in italics) so it may be a bit weird to read (hopefully not) (sorry for these parantheses) please let me know if there’s anything off!

pairing: luke hemmings x reader

summary: having known luke for years, it was bound to happen eventually. the crush you developed happened before you could stop it, and you did your best to keep it a secret. you told no one, did your best not to show it, so what do you do when his girlfriend finds out?

warnings: swearing (as usual), 

genre: angst, fluff, basically friends (to brief enemies but not really) to lovers?

wc: 5,201 (they’re getting longer, huh)

taglist: @1sosrvd1267 + @wowitsel (side note: i don’t have a current taglist, this is just for this fic!)

part one | my masterlist!

You skipped the after-party that night. You couldn’t bear standing in the same room as Luke and Rachel, so you booked a ride and left as soon as the car pulled up.

Had you stayed for the party, you would have crumbled under the looks of pity thrown at you by those who would have heard about what happened. The knowing looks that something bad had happened between two people everyone on the crew knew were best friends would have been uncomfortable.

The ride home is uncomfortably silent, but you were thankful the driver wasn’t the talkative type. The soft jazz playing on the radio wasn’t calming but it did distract you from the pain and embarrassment you felt from the argument.

Once the car had pulled up to your place, you bid a silent farewell to the driver and slid out.

You just wanted to get inside, take a shower, shut your phone for the night, and sleep until you physically can’t get any more sleep.

You’re not too surprised Luke stood up for his girlfriend. He does love her—he’s shown that with friends and with fans. But the way he glared at you, defended her without trying to find out what exactly went down…he had never looked at you like that.

You’ve seen that look before; it wasn’t something you were used to but it was the look he would give paparazzi when they would harass you, the guys, and his friends. The glare carried such strength that it would make people back off. And so when it was directed towards you, it struck you hard.

Having done what you wanted to do once you entered the house, you lay in bed with wet eyes staring at the ceiling. Your phone was face down on your nightstand, completely out of reach to the point one slight touch could knock it off.

Maybe you were the one at fault. Maybe you should’ve told the truth about your feelings to Rachel or Luke before this all happened. It could have prevented the fallout and you would be with the guys and the crew celebrating a successful show.

But what good would that have done? Had you told someone, anyone, that you liked Luke more than a best friend should, would that have caused the same problem but presented differently? Or would something come from it? Maybe nothing would have happened.

A sigh escapes your lips as you turn your back away from the nightstand, facing the empty half of the bed and before your mind drifts to more pitiful thoughts, you close your eyes.

You didn’t dream that night. It’s as if you blinked, with the night flying by faster than you had wanted and anticipated.

The sunlight beamed down on you from above your headboard. It was late morning and it was time to face the harsh reality of the day.

There is no doubt you have lost Luke as your best friend.

Wiping the sleep and crust from your eyes, you sit up and vacantly glance around the room. The box where you keep gifts from Luke is illuminated by the sunlight, and with the vacant stare you stand to walk towards it.

You hesitate to open it; it’ll bring back memories of good times and with the events of the previous night, you do not think you can handle the rush of emotions.

It’s then when you realize your phone was off, and though you don’t want to do anything social today and would rather stay home with your favorite snacks and shows, you know you have to let your friends know how you’re doing.

You stall by washing your face and brushing your teeth, albeit slower than usual. You know that once you turn your phone on, the onslaught of questions and missed calls are going to take possibly an hour to clear up.

Sure enough, as you turn your phone on, the missed messages come in, barely giving your notification tone a break and the missed calls and voicemails were coming in fast. You can feel the heat from the battery on your palm, and for the sake of the phone you switch the sound off and turn on Do Not Disturb to prevent any new calls from coming through.

The messages you saw were from the crew, asking where you went and if you were okay. Others were from the boys minus Luke, and looking through the missed calls, there was nothing from Luke.

You’re not surprised, but the pain was still simmering within and seeing no messages or missed calls from him was adding to it.

You responded to the crew’s messages first, since many of them sent one or two messages asking simple questions: “Are you okay,” “Where did you go,” and “Did you get home safe?”

Then you responded to the boys’, Michael’s first since he had the least amount of messages.

hey, you didn’t have to leave. we could’ve talked some sense into him when he calmed down (11:37pm)

did u get home okay? we know you didn’t drive here yourself. (11:58pm)

please let us know you made it home. let us know you’re okay (12:10am)

hope you made it home and that you’re safe and okay. thank u for ur work today. please text me when you see these. goodnight (12:49am)

You typed your reply to him, letting him know that you were okay and got home safe.

Calum’s messages were similar, asking the same questions but some were repeated to emphasize his worry. In response, you answered his questions like Michael’s.

But even before you can open Ashton’s messages, seeing double digits next to your conversation with him, rapid knocks on your front door grab your attention.

With a groan you stand and grab your robe from the hook on the door, wrapping it tightly around your body as you open the door and groggily walk to the front door.

It was a stupid idea, as you weren’t ready to face anyone yet Ashton stands in front of you. He’s well-rested, a stark contrast to you as you were sure your eyes were still puffy and bloodshot, along with an occasional sniffle from your nose.

His eyes travel from your face, down to your feet, and back up to your eyes. He can immediately tell you had a terrible night.

“You weren’t answering anyone last night,” he begins, tilting his head as he narrows his eyes, “we were worried about you after you left.”

“Yeah,” you sighed, “I just—I didn’t feel like talking to anyone.”

“You could’ve let one of us know that you were shutting off.”

You nodded with a frown, “I could have, yeah,” your eyes dart around behind him to avoid his worrisome eyes before asking him if he wanted to come in.

He doesn’t hesitate and steps in once you move aside, opening the door wider to give him enough room. He notes your bag in a heap on the floor a few inches away from the couch, and how your shoes were far apart, with one upside down, as if you flung them off.

“How are you holding up now?”

You shrug, still avoiding his eyes because you know if you make eye contact, you’ll break down and you won’t have control over the onslaught of emotions.

“Be honest,” his voice is soft, wanting to make you feel comfortable enough to open up.

You stare at the ground, biting the skin of your lower lip nervously. This is why you did not want to talk to anyone face-to-face. Talking to them over the phone, preferably through text, allowed you to lie to the other person (and if applicable, to yourself). But talking to someone in person, and to someone who can see through your lies, you were bound to break down and become vulnerable.

You inhale, taking careful steps to the couch and gently sitting down with a sigh. Ashton follows you, sitting next to you but giving you space to not overwhelm you.

“What happened last night—,” you lean back with your arms folded over your chest, “—was something that I feared. When I realized I liked Luke, I was so worried about him finding out and what the outcome would be. I knew from the beginning that things would never be the same if he found out, and I was afraid of the change that would come from it.”

Ashton listens intently, his eyes displaying sincerity as he listens to you list off your worries. What he saw last night bothered him to no end, and had he not exerted most of his energy during the show, he would not have slept at all and would have stayed up all night in a constant state of worry.

“So, now that Rachel knows, and no doubt Luke has caught on, I don’t know what to do. I responded to everyone’s texts before you arrived, and Luke sent nothing—not even a phone call.”

Ashton nods, swallowing before speaking, “Well, after you left, things went down that may be the reason why he hasn’t tried contacting you.”

Your head turns to face him, eyebrows furrowed as confusion embeds itself across the rest of your features.

Ashton readjusts himself, getting comfortable in his seat as he gathers the right words.

“Something happened after I left?” You ask as you shift in your seat to face him.

“Michael wanted to go after you, to at least offer you a ride back, but Calum went back to tell Luke that it was bullshit what happened. So, Michael went back to make sure they wouldn’t fight or anything. I also pointed out that he was a dick; choosing you over her when he’s known you the longest didn’t sit right with us. But he got defensive and kept wanting to leave but Rachel convinced him it was alright, so they stayed for the party. But the party was bad—the crew felt the tension and the vibes were down—,” he chuckles at the word choice, getting a small laugh out of you as well, “—it brought everyone out of the energetic and ecstatic mood we were in before the confrontation. We all kinda did our own thing during the party but we noticed things were tense between Luke and Rachel. And when the party ended, shit hit the fan.”

“What happened?”

Ashton sighs, “To make the long story short, they got into an argument when we were leaving the venue after Michael brought up your name. He said something like, ‘I hope they got home safe,’ and that you weren’t answering your phone at all. Calum and I pointed out, again, how rude Luke was to you and Luke kept defending himself. Rachel dropped an insult and something shifted. Basically, they’re done and the guys and I can finally fucking breathe.”

“Wait—,” you stand with bulging eyes, “—wait, are you saying they broke up?”

Ashton hums as he watches you mindlessly walk around your living room.

The guys have been waiting for their break-up. It’s not something they were open about, as to avoid any conflict with their best friend, but it was almost an unspoken agreement: Rachel was not liked.

As for you, it’s not like you were wishing for their break-up. You wanted Luke to be happy, and if he was happy in that relationship, then so be it. But you were not a fan of it. Yeah, you liked her in the beginning but when she started disregarding you as if you did something to offend her, you lost most of your respect for her. Now, with this news of their break-up, you don’t know what to do.

Are you happy? You don’t exactly feel happy about it, but there is some relief.

“So,” you sit back down on the couch slowly, “what am I supposed to do with this information?”

“Not sure,” Ashton shrugs, “but I recommend talking to Luke.”

You shake your head fervently, “No. I don’t feel like talking to anyone.”

“But you’re talking to me,” Ashton has a smirk, but you know there’s no malice behind his joke.

“You showed up unannounced, Ash,” you smile, “I was responding to everyone who sent messages and voicemails. I don’t feel like talking to anyone else in person.”

He holds his hands up in defense, “Fair enough, but don’t be a stranger.”

He gives you a quick hug, whispering something similar to ‘don’t shut Luke out’ before he pulls away and walks out.

Ashton’s words stuck with you for the next week. You felt comfortable enough a few days after the fact to contact the boys, eventually meeting up with Ashton and Calum for lunch and third-wheeling Michael and his fiancée. The only person out of your friend group and co-workers you have not contacted was Luke. He hasn’t contacted you either, but you do not think much about it as you’re still trying to figure things out. If he were to contact you, how do you talk about what happened?

You want to know why he was able to choose his then-girlfriend over you, but at the same time you don’t want to know the answer. You know that one day, and though it hurts, you will not be his number one. With the way he behaved that night, it felt like that dreadful moment came to earlier than expected, that he found his number one and you immediately became his second go-to person.

So it did surprise you when you were out with an old friend to receive a text from Luke.

Can we talk about what happened? (2:23pm)

You only stare blankly at the text, not even moving to type a response. You were in such a good mood, and not even this text would change it. Instead, you lock your phone and place it back in your pocket, noting to leave it alone until your day out comes to an end.

And when it does, you see that more texts from Luke had arrived, the final being sent an hour before the outing ended.

I know you’re mad, I understand that and I don’t blame you but please talk to me (2:31pm)

You’re reading these, please say something (2:33pm)

There are some things that I need to clear up with you, I want to apologize for what happened that night but I want to do it face to face. Please respond. (3:57pm)

Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be waiting. Sorry if I’m bombarding you with these texts, I just don’t want to lose you over something that I realize now should not have happened. Respond when you want to, I’ll be here. (5:49pm)

You could only let out a small chuckle at the persistent requests to talk, and you don’t deny the small—minuscule, honestly—flutter in your stomach. You don’t waste any time responding.

Sorry, I was busy. We can meet somewhere to talk. (7:08pm)

He responds about five minutes later, agreeing to meet at a small café the two of you love tomorrow afternoon.

The rest of the night for you is spent thinking of ways to carry yourself, being completely confident, and accepting the fact that you love your best friend. Pep talks in the shower and mirror to calm any arising nerves, revising the topics you want to talk about in your head so you keep the confidence.

As for Luke, he was struggling to gather all his thoughts. In the beginning, he thoroughly enjoyed the fact that you and Rachel got along. He liked seeing his best friend and girlfriend become friends like that. He didn’t notice the shift, however, and he wishes he did before things got out of hand.

When he defended Rachel, without finding out the story from all sides, he thought he was doing what was right. To him, friendships and relationships have the same base, but romantic relationships with a partner have a different structure than friendships do, and he was starting to see cracks in his friendship before he saw it in his relationship.

When he confronted Rachel after she insulted you, he started to see someone he never saw. He remembered the times Rachel ignored you, sometimes playing it off as if she never heard you. He remembered how she would make plans with everyone and exclude you, but he always played it off as an accident (even if he knew it wasn’t). He remembered all these times he noticed a change in mood when the two of you were in the same room, and he couldn’t believe he turned a blind eye to all of it.

It hurt him to break-up with Rachel—he won’t deny that because he did love her. It’s not that he saw the rest of his life with her as they weren’t at that mark in the relationship.

But, when he did picture his future, he always saw you. He always thought it was just as a friend, someone who was just joined at the hip. Yet, he was quick to throw that away for someone he rarely saw when he pictured the future.

Which is why, the next day, as he sits at a booth near the window of the café, he carefully goes over what he wants to say. He doesn’t want to ruin the chance to fix things between the two of you. If it goes awry, not only does he lose you, but his friendships with the band and the team will take a hit since they all love you.

The bell above the door rings making his head turn to watch you walk in. Your eyes danced around the café before they fell on him.

He couldn’t help the smile the formed on his lips, a small breath of relief escaping as he watches you walk towards him. The smile doesn’t stay long though, because as you sit down with a stoic expression, the reality hits him.

“I got your usual,” he’s shy and timid, pushing the mug toward you as he eyes the liquid nearly spills the edge.

You mumble a ‘thanks,’ grabbing the mug and taking a small sip. It falls silent as the two of you wonder who should start first.

Luke makes the move first. He sighs, sitting up straight and wiping his palms on his pants.

He’s nervous. When the guys started touring, visiting new cities and countries, he would always be nervous and constantly wiped his hands on his thighs, sitting up straight and even straighter if he wasn’t slouching. It’s an old habit, but something you remember fondly as he had grown out of it. Or so you thought.

“I want to start with I’m sorry,” he begins, making eye contact but fails to hold it. His eyes instead drift to his drink, “I know what I did was wrong, and I put you in a spot that hurt you and disregarded you. At the moment, I thought I was doing the right thing because she was my girlfriend, but then—” he gulps, “when she insulted you, it struck a nerve and, not to sound cliché or anything, it felt like it opened my eyes. I saw someone I didn’t see when I first met them.”

You don’t respond, just nodding your head to let him know you’re listening.

He licks his lips before continuing, “When the guys brought up how you left on your own, I was feeling nervous and they started reminding me how much of a dick I was to you. I didn’t want to admit it myself, but now, I was such an ass. I’m just—I’m so sorry for what happened.”

“Luke,” you sigh, shifting in your seat, “I’m not saying I forgive you but I accept your apology. It hurt me so much that a friend, someone I’ve known for years was just so quick to turn their back and take someone else’s side. I know she was your girlfriend, but I wish you didn’t do what you did.”

“If I could go back and fix it, I would.”

You only nod again, trying to think about other things that need to be talked about. The one topic you hope to avoid is the possibility of him knowing your feelings—something you do not want to discuss, at least not yet.

“Did she say anything to you?”

The question leaves your mouth before you register it, and the widening of your eyes catches Luke off guard.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you mutter, grabbing your mug and taking a long sip.

“She didn’t tell me what started the problems between you two, if that’s what you mean,” Luke smiles a bit, watching you nervously play with the mug’s handle after the sip. It fades when your eyes move up to meet his, “I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but it isn’t important anymore. She’s out of the picture, and I don’t want to lose you.”

The silence returns, but unlike the previous bout, it’s a calming silence. It isn’t uncomfortable, rather the air is easier to breathe and the tension isn’t unsettling.

“Where do we go from here?” Luke asks, nervously wringing his fingers.

“I don’t want to lose you as a friend, Luke,” you offer a smile, “but it’s going to take some time to ‘heal,’ if you will.”

Luke smiles again, this time a bigger grin. He nods, leaning back in his seat, “Let me know what I can do to make things better. I’ll do it if I get to keep you.”

Over the next few months, your friendship with Luke was rekindled. The guys were at ease now that Rachel was gone and you seemingly had taken her place, even though you were friends. The awkward glances they would give when Rachel was in the same room were now playful rolls of the eyes over a dumb joke or pranks. You didn’t miss out on any outings you wanted to go to, now that everyone invited would check in with each other the night before. Things went back to the way they were before Rachel.

There was a change in your friendship, however. It wasn’t something you noticed right away, but it was something you thought about at night just a few weeks ago. Luke paid more attention to you, not that he didn’t pay attention before, but this was a noticeable change where he still looks at you even after you finished talking, and would only look away from you when you caught him. He would always cover his mouth with his index and middle finger, but you saw a small smile behind them. You played it off as friendly teasing, but it tugs on your heartstrings.

Another noticeable change is the hugs. Duration-wise, they were relatively the same. However the touch lingered; if he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, an arm would stay around your shoulder, meanwhile if they were around your waist, his hand would stay on the small of your back. You played it off as a friend being protective, but yet again, it did nothing to stop your growing love.

Tonight was the first night of their tour. The boys were up to their usual pre-show antics, as well as the nervous habits; Michael fixing his hair and deciding whether to go with a beanie or a hat, or neither, Ashton was warming up with his pre-show playlist, Calum testing his bass, and Luke was relatively fine.

Sure, he was nervous because it isn’t a crowd of 500, close to 20,000, but he was calm compared to the last time he performed. He didn’t have any worries to talk about, his vocal warm-ups were smooth, and getting dressed up was a breeze. He shared chuckles with you as you both watched the others move around with tense expressions (all with no malice, of course).

“You sure you’re not on edge?” you nudge Luke with your arm as he leans forward on the couch your sitting on to fix his shoe.

“Nope,” he sits up, leaning back in his seat.

“Really?” you inquire again, doubt laced in your tone with a hint of teasing.

“Yeah,” he chuckles, “if anything I’m excited about tonight.”

You hum, crossing your arms as you watch Ashton walk over.

“Ten minutes left,” he nods at Luke before walking to Michael to tell him the same thing.

You give Luke a look, wanting to get him to admit he is nervous, but all you get is a smirk and a shrug. He stands, patting your shoulder left before walking away to put in his in-ears.

You won’t deny you still don’t have feelings for him. Throughout the past few months, you were able to pinpoint the reasons why you fell for him. The small acts, the obscure things he would remember about you—especially the ones you don’t remember yourself—with the attention he would give you. It was staring you in the face, but you chose to deny all the signals to give yourself the satisfaction of thinking it was just a phase. But now you know why you love him.

Two minutes until showtime, Ashton finishes his speech and the crew is taking their places. The band stands at the opening, waiting for their cue to head out.

As you watched them hype themselves up, you noticed Luke looking around nervously. Of course.

“Nervous?”

His head whips toward you, and you can see it in his eyes.

“A little,” he mumbles, but you don’t hear it over the crowd’s excited screams.

“You got this,” you grab his shoulders to make him look you in the eyes, “like Ash said, you guys worked your asses off for this album. The fans loved it, your shows are all sold out, and you have thousands out there waiting to see you kill it.”

He’s silent, blue eyes staring into yours as they bounce from one eye to the other.

“I love you,” he blurts, loud enough just for you to hear.

You freeze, the grip on his shoulder loosens but remain.

He notices, “She did tell me something that night, and whether or not it’s true, I-I love you.”

“Sixty seconds!” a stage recites in the earpieces.

The boys turn to look at both of you, curious eyes turn into surprise as they watch your expression.

“I don’t know how long, I don’t know when, and I don’t know what it was, but I know for sure.”

Your eyes glance at Ashton briefly, not missing the knowing smile he gives you before you look back into Luke’s eyes.

“I…love you, too,” you respond, gripping his shoulders while your eyes drop down to his shiny shoes.

He doesn’t hear you over the cheers and screams, but reading your lips he knows the answer.

Luke smiles, grabbing the back of your head and kissing your forehead.

He leans down to your ear, “I expect to hear you say it when I come back.”

With flashing lights scattering across the stage, the boys run out to the stage, big smiles gracing their faces for multiple reasons with adrenaline pumping through their veins. From backstage, you watch the show you a smile, feeling high from the brief but fulfilling confession.

It’s two hours later when the show ends. Your heart is pounding as you watch the crew celebrate the successful first show.

Luke pulls you away from the crowd, into the hallway and away from the noise.

“So it was true, what Rachel said?” Luke begins, his hand still holding yours as a shy smile forms.

“What did she say?”

He exhales air through his nose in a laugh, “She said you were in love with me, and that you were trying to break us up.”

You scoff, shaking your head as you look at your intertwined fingers. He squeezes your hand to get your attention.

“I doubt that last part, but the first part I’m hoping is true in a sense.”

Your eyes meet his, adoration swimming in them bringing a smile to your face, “There may be a strong crush I have on you,” you tease, “and it may or may not have turned into love.”

He laughs, letting go of your hand to wrap you in a hug. His head dips down, his forehead on your shoulder as he breathes in your scent. He moves slightly, whispering in your ear, “Say it.”

Your head rested against his chest, hearing his heart beat rapidly and rhythmically.

“I love you,” you whisper.

You feel him smile against your shoulder before he pulls away, his arms resting on your hips as he smiles down at you.

“If you’d like,” he begins, his tone timid now, “that place you like in Seattle has a new dish. It’s our next stop…” he drifts off, hoping you’d catch on to him asking you out.

You do, laughing at how he remembered yet another thing you seem to have forgotten. It was a themed restaurant that had some of the best food you’ve ever eaten, and for days you wouldn’t stop talking about it. But you never went back to it, even during breaks, but somehow he seemed to remember.

“Yes, Luke.”

You know the shock will hit you later that night, that finally the person you’ve fallen for, who happens to be your best friend, admitted his feelings to you. But you’re happy, Luke’s happy, and with the boys’ and crew’s reaction to the two of you walking back to the area where they’re celebrating, the happiness is infectious.

On the road in the tour bus, Ashton passes you as you respond to emails.

“Thanks for not shutting him out,” he says, drinking a small bottle of water from the fridge.

“Did you know?”

He shrugs, avoiding your eyes as he finishes the bottle and tosses it in the recycling bag. “Maybe,” he walks towards the back where the beds are, “maybe not.”

You shake your head, “You did.”

“Didn’t want to spoil it,” he gives you a quick hug before retreating to bed.

Luke walks out of the bathroom shortly after, taking his spot next to you.

“Go to bed,” you slightly shift your shoulder as he lays his head on it, “you need the rest.”

“No,” he mumbles, sleep lacing his tone, “feels like a dream. Don’t wanna wake up.”

You chuckle at his nonsense, finishing off the last email before shutting the laptop and placing it on the counter next to you. You adjust yourself on the couch to have Luke lay down with you. He readjusts himself so he doesn’t crush you, wrapping his arm around your waist and placing his head on your chest.

“I wish I had known before all the drama,” he mumbles again, eyes closed, “I want you in my life, always.”

He drifts off to sleep with that, a faint smile on his lips.

You know what made you fall in love with your best friend. You accept it now, and you’re at peace knowing the feeling is mutual.

[notchainedtotrauma]

We all need something to keep going. Here is my modest contribution.

I don’t want to make somebody else. I want to make myself.

 from Sula by Toni Morrison

Nydia Blas, from The Girls Who Spun Gold

Build cultural institutions out of dirt. In the hands of Wiccan, Hoodoo and Voodoo witches, dirt from various places can be an ingredient for spells and powerful magic because it is a conductor of sacred energy. Create medecines from dirt. Build healing institutions out of dirt. 

from A Dirty South Manifesto: Sexual Resistance and Imagination in the New South by L.H Stallings

Renée Stout, Spirit Detector

This practice of regard for one another is so important, so critical because Black women are treated with such little regard, such little regard in the world. We — the surplus life, the nobody, the thing who falls out of the scheme of representation, the void, the tool — expect to be rough-handled. What we think and imagine has been dismissed and ignored. What we want has been belittled and mocked. So when our lives aren’t handled brutally or indifferently, but treated with care, you feel the force of that.

 Saidiya Hartman in conversation with Rizvana Bradley

Carrie Mae Weems, from The Kitchen Table series

We believe that the most profound and potentially most radical politics come directly out of our own identity, as opposed to working to end somebody else’s oppression. In the case of Black women this is a particularly repugnant, dangerous, threatening, and therefore revolutionary concept because it is obvious from looking at all the political movements that have preceded us that anyone is more worthy of liberation than ourselves. We reject pedestals, queenhood, and walking ten paces behind.

from The Combahee River Collective Statement

Lorna Simpson, Untitled (a lie is not a shelter)

What does it mean to kind of…to try to experiment with living…uhm…in the context of a world that is in so many ways uninhabitable ? 

  Saidiya Hartman

Mickalene Thomas, Din Facing Forward

The most anti-capitalist protest is to care for another and to care for yourself. To take on the historically feminized and therefore invisible practice of nursing, nurturing, caring. To take seriously each other’s vulnerability and fragility and precarity, and to support it, honor it, empower it. To protect each other, to enact and practice community. A radical kinship, an interdependent sociality, a politics of care.

Because, once we are all ill and confined to the bed, sharing our stories of therapies and comforts, forming support groups, bearing witness to each other’s tales of trauma, prioritizing the care and love of our sick, pained, expensive, sensitive, fantastic bodies, and there is no one left to go to work, perhaps then, finally, capitalism will screech to its much-needed, long-overdue, and motherfucking glorious halt.

 from Sick Woman Theory by Johanna Hedva

LaToya Ruby Frazier, from The Notion of Family

We will not die.Blk music. Blk rage. Blk city of the soul in a very cold town.

 from After Avery R. Young by Jericho Brown

LaToya Ruby Frazier, from The Notion Of Family

[adrischrv]

REGNUM [L.H] - Chapter 4

Author´s Note: Here´s Chapter 4 of my king!luke fanfic, here you can check the other chapters: Intro - C1 - C2 - C3 

Word count: 1,456

A few minutes ago, Ashton and I had wandered away from the path that indicated the correct way to go through the garden; "The right thing is not always the right thing to do," he´d said. 

I began a round of rather informal questions as we continued to walk around.

“Your turn, has anyone ever conquered that heart of yours before?” He asked. 

“Not really, it's a... territory that hasn't been explored or not much.” 

That was true, I've never had a relationship with anyone before. Since I was a little girl I only had time for the duties that a princess in training has to do. I had flirted with some, yes, but I promised myself to keep those moments to myself. Besides, my mother's words always echoed in my head; "Wanting and needing are different things, to reign you don't need a man... but if someday you want him, go after him".

“What about you?” I asked. 

“No, not at the moment. I've had lovers, of course, but in the end... I return to the throne alone.”

“Explain to me, since you and Lauren are kings... what will happen when one of you gets married?”

The subject had some relevance for me: it was a mystery that was not described in the books or exposed in the classes, a singular case.

“If that happens... when that happens," he corrected himself, "then the other abdicates the throne. We made that pact when my father died.”

Covenants, promises, and favors were of high importance to everyone in the three kingdoms. Believing someone else's word was difficult, but whoever did not keep it should be prepared to lose his honor and deal with the consequences.  

We remained silent for a moment; I didn't know how to follow the talk. 

“Tell me, what did you think of the dinner?” Ashton asked, encouraging our passage. “Lauren said that the decoration was a lot, but in my opinion, it's more appropriate to use our colors.”

“The food was delicious, I didn't know such exquisite things existed.” I looked at it out of the corner of my eye. He didn't say anything, that's not why we were here. “You don't want to know that, do you? We came here for another reason.”

He blinked as if he had been taken by surprise, maybe he had. It wasn't on purpose, just an accident. 

He raised his eyebrows to indicate a bench in the middle of the garden, surrounded by flowers as we were now.

We took a seat. I didn't bother to remove my arm from his until he did.

 And he didn't. 

“I noticed that you were a bit strange with His Majesty King Luke," he said Luke´s title in a tone close to mockery. 

I couldn't tell him the things Luke had said about me, except that I believed them myself. The truth was that I felt small, an heiress from one country staying in another without an expiration date, hoping to bring them together... soon without my family, without answers, and power. 

I couldn't tell him that, not exactly. 

“You know Luke, his attitude and... his existence, in general, has overwhelmed me a bit.”

The hand that I had free approached slowly and caressed my cheek delicately as if touching the outline of a bubble. 

“Your situation is not easy. I know you are not telling me everything I think you are not telling me anything... but I understand. You are afraid.”

As accurate as he was, I didn't admit it. Although I had liked his comfort. 

“I have nothing to do here, at least not now. I don't know if I'm any good at this moment and that's... I don't like it, it's not good for me. It is frustrating.”

He nodded, understanding every word. His eyes were very close to mine. I took his hand resting on my cheek and gently pushed it away. 

He was still the King of Lauxwell. As attractive, understandable, and friendly as he was, I couldn't forget such detail. 

“I think the answer to your sorrows is closer than you think... How do you think the leaders we know came about?”

I took a breath. 

“Each one had their impulse and purpose based on their interests and of course, their environment, ideals, values, needs... their geographical location and family tree have a great influence too. Oh, and it depends a lot on the psychological state they were in when-”

He placed a finger over my lips, suddenly silencing them with a loving smile. He pushed it away when he saw me surprised. 

“Even if I could sit and listen to you quote the entire dictionary from memory, let's focus on the first part. They had a purpose, just like you, and they followed a path to achieve it. Moreover, they knew how to take control when they were given an opportunity.”

My purpose at that time was to have power. I was stuck in the shattered remains of what once seemed to be my future. 

“You are a smart woman, you will think about how to do it and if you need help I will be with you every step of the way.”

He was close, very close, his eyes looked especially beautiful in the moonlight. I allowed myself to lose a second in them, imagining what it would feel like to see them after a kiss. His eyes came down to my lips, his hand placed on my cheek as just minutes before, the caress of his thumb made me surrender to the touch. I approached, the warnings in my head went unnoticed, what was a kiss under the moon? innocent, pure, vulnerable. 

“Ahem... “

We both jumped out of the seat, taking a few steps away from the sound of a voice in the darkness. When I looked for the emissary all traces of happiness in me vanished. 

“I would have regretted the interruption, believe me, but your faces were very good... “

Luke walked forward as if to let us know that he was there and had seen it all. Or worse, listened. 

“What can we do for you, Your Majesty?”

Luke let out a raw, unfunny, cynical laugh. 

“You can't help me at all. She can, I need her for the official business. It has to do with Maredale.” He looked at me, pure malice he let me see. “Are you coming with me, Princess?”

“Right away.”

I didn't turn to see Ashton, I knew he would understand and I followed Luke down the dark path back to the castle. Once inside, he started walking so fast that I had trouble keeping up with him. 

“Will you tell me what this is all about?” I asked as we walked up the stairs. 

He shook his head. I had a buffet and we stopped outside my room.

“Well?” 

I looked forward to his words. Was he regretting keeping me here as my mother had asked?

Or maybe it was bad news, I couldn't think of anything that could go wrong in Maredale. 

“You're welcome.” He said without further ado. He turned around and started walking down the hall. 

You're welcome?

“What?” I walked over to him and stopped him in his tracks. He turned his eyes. “What happened to Maredale? What was the official business?” He smiled mischievously. “There was no official business, was there?”

He laughed out loud. The urge to hit him grew and grew inside me. I frowned and crossed my arms until he fell silent. 

“Come on, it was fun! Stop looking at me as if I've interrupted something, princess... oh, right! a kissing session with the "oh-so-hot" King of Lauxwell.”

“Shut up!” I shouted. “It's not funny. It's not funny, Luke. You used the name Maredale in vain.”

“As if you didn't do it.”

My purpose: to shut up Luke. 

My way: a slap in the face. 

My right hand struck Luke's left cheek hard enough to disrupt him. He swayed a little, I saw his red cheek and anger- rage and indignation in his blue eyes. My body shook. 

The sound of the slap echoed down the hall, drawing the attention of two servants who were passing by. One of them was Lidia who analyzed the scene in amazement. 

"I said shut your mouths, not make them bleed," she seemed to say. 

“Don't use Maredale's name in vain.” I slammed the door behind me. I smashed into the door and held my breath. I held it for a few minutes waiting for a sound, a knock on the door from him, something. 

The seriousness of what I had done fell on me. I slapped Luke. 

I had laid a hand on the King of Gardenstone. 

[carriedawayfromhome]

Eyeliner - L.H

Count - 1.2K

Summary - Luke has always wanted to try makeup and finally musters up the courage to ask you for help.

Rating: General Audiences

Masterlist

I watch my reflection intently in the mirror, my tongue poking out ever so slightly. Eyeliner has never been my strong suit and I can only usually get it perfect if the moons are aligned, the weather is right and I’ve said ‘eyeliner’ three times into the mirror to summon the makeup gods. But this time I’m hoping that maybe my skill might come into play and I’ll actually be able to make myself look decent. 

“How you going in there?” I hear Luke yell from the bedroom. 

I tailor off the end of my left eye, nailed it, “Yes fine!” I yell back to Luke, “Just onto the last eye, I’m almost done, okay? No sudden movements.” I hear a faint chuckle as a reply. 

I look up to see him suddenly in my reflection behind me, watching me struggle to match my eyes. I turn to look at him, “Yes sir, can I help you?”

He smiles at me, “I just like to watch you do that sometimes, it’s interesting you know, makeup.” 

“Yeah but it’s a bitch to do,” I swivel back around, ready to finish this, “But when it’s all done it’s worth it.” 

With steady hands I go to work on the other eye, letting the pencil run smoothly over my lid before  I lean back. Thank god for that, they actually look somewhat the same. 

I jump up, “All done!” I walk into the bedroom, ready to throw some clothes on and get out of here, but I stop at Luke’s expression, “Everything alright?”

Here’s looking at me with an inquisitive expression, looking as though he really wants to say something. Shit, maybe I’ve done an absolutely terrible job at this makeup, damnit. 

“Luke? What is it? Is it the makeup? Too much? Shit…” I trail off, turning to go back to the mirror. 

“No! It’s not that.” 

I stop my retreat back to the dreaded bathroom mirror, turning to look at him, “Then what is it?”

He pauses for a moment, his hands wringing together in his lap, “Can I try some?”

I furrow my eyebrows at him, “Try some what?”

“Makeup?” His eyes look away from me.

I lightly chuckle, “You want to put some makeup on? Why?” I pause when he turns away from me looking slightly flustered and embarrassed and I immediately regret my laugh and choice of words.

“Never mind, forget I asked.” He grabs his jacket off the bed and starts to make his way out of the room. I run over to him, grabbing his arm and turning him to me. I can see a light glisten in his eyes, I feel terrible. 

“Luke, I didn’t mean to laugh, I’m sorry,” I put my arms around him, “I really am.”

“That's okay, it was a weird request I know.”

I take a step back, “No it wasn’t, you just caught me off guard, that’s all.” I walk him back over to the bed where we both sit down, “So, you want to put some makeup on hey?”

He shrugs, “I’ve just always wanted to try you know? Nothing too over the top, I just thought maybe some eyeliner would be nice, maybe some concealer for my horrible tired looking eyes.”

I frown at him, “Stop that, you know I love your eyes.” He shrugs once more at me, not fully believing my words, "But you know you could have asked me ages ago, concealer is very easy to apply.”

“Yeah I guess so, I just have always been too nervous to ask. It’s still kind of strange for men to wear makeup, for some reason.”

I lift my hands up to his cheeks, my thumbs rubbing against his cheekbones, “I’m sorry Luke, I didn’t realise you felt that way.” 

His eyes finally meet mine, “I mean, I feel nervous even putting on chapstick let alone leaving the house with eyeliner, just thought you could help you know.”

My stomach clenches, I never realised how insecure he felt. I should have seen this, I’m his best friend, why didn’t I notice? A feel a slight sting of tears coming on, he looks so vulnerable in front of me. I notice him watching my reaction, his hands holding tightly onto each other.

“Of course I can help you,” I lean up to lightly dab at my eyes, “I didn’t realise you felt this way Luke, I wish you had told me.”

He sighs, “I’m sorry, I just never felt confident enough to ask.”

I take a deep breath before standing up, “Okay well we better get to it then.” I smile at him, leaning down to grab his hand and pull him toward the bathroom. I sit him down in front of the mirror and lean my chin down on top of his head. I look at him in the mirror lights, his blue eyes shining, I’ve always loved those eyes.

I feel an elbow lightly hit me in the ribs, “Hey you, you’re meant to be helping me aren’t you?” He laughs at me, one eyebrow raised. I shake my head at him, leaning over him to grab the concealer first. I apply a few dabs under each eye, my ring finger patting to blend in the liquid, before letting him look in the mirror. 

His eyes go wide and he leans towards the mirror, “Wow, that’s crazy,” He turns from side to side, smiling wildly, “I look so awake, so bright.” He beams at me and my heart swells. 

“Okay, so eyeliner now?” 

He nods and turns towards me, I apply a little to the waterline after a bit of getting used to, it’s always strange when applying eyeliner for the first time. I lean back and study my work, not too bad if I say so myself and damn, my best friend looks like a hot rockstar. 

He once again studies my reaction, “Do I look okay?” 

“You look beautiful Luke.”

He rolls his eyes at me but stops dead in his tracks when I turn him back to the mirror. He looks at his reflection for a moment, moving his head every which way. He then turns to me, “I love it.” He really does look fantastic, the liner makes his eyes pop and the concealer hides the light darkness he had under his eyes. 

He stands up, suddenly towering over me, that man really is tall. He smiles at me before suddenly taking me into a bear hug, my feet coming off the floor slightly. 

“Okay yes,” I struggle to say, “I love you too, now let’s go hey.”

He laughs and puts me down, following me as we grab our jackets, heading down the stairs and out my front door. 

I watch him as we make the ten minute walk to the bar down the road. I should have realised sooner that he was insecure and not so confident, he usually always walked a little hunched, trying to be at the same height as everyone else, not trying to be noticed, not trying to be seen. 

Now though he walks with a little more confidence, shoulders back and head raised, with a little more fire in his eyes. He looks excited and happy. 

As he should be. 

[musicalmukebox]

Let’s Get (Back) Together | l.h. (16)

Ctto of the gif!

AU: Parent Trap Dad!Luke

Summary: A strong love which led to a strong marriage and twin daughters. Yet in the end, it didn’t turn out so well. You strongly refuse to encounter him ever again. But what happens when both of you coincidentally send your twin daughters to the same summer camp in Florida after 10 years?

Word Count: 8.2k

Warnings: angst, swearing, mentions of cheating

A/N: I’M SO SORRY I DISAPPEARED AGAIN!! Anyways, I am back and I’ll make sure to be more consistent especially that we are near the end! Damn, if you think I’ll let you breathe after all the drama happening, well think again! Hope you enjoy this mix of fluff and angst! I love you all!

I don’t own Parent Trap and its ideas. It’s only used as inspiration.

Masterlist

Main Series Playlist

Feedback/Questions/Others? Here.

-

2023, Los Angeles

Beads of sweat from your forehead did not cease to stream down continuously while you were leaning forward on the hospital bed, having one hand toughly gripping on one side handle of hospital bed while the other one was clutched on Luke’s arm. Red nail marks trademarked his skin, wincing at every tense squeeze from you, though he couldn’t blame you at all.  

“I hate you, Luke Hemmings! So much!”

Not entirely true, you screeched at the discomfort at your lower abdomen. How was your mother capable of this? How did Eleanor do it? They struggled with delivering one child in one go, but how about two in your case? Torture.

“You’re doing well, (Y/N). I can see the head of the first twin!” Dr. Kate praised, viewing your core in its entirety. Your body was growing too exhausted by the intensity and closeness of every contraction that was hitting, and your breaths grew shorter as you pushed. Yet it was like nothing was changing.

“Fuck, fuck, I can’t do this!” You cried out, stopping your motions to pant out all that forced effort and lying back in bed to catch your breath. “You did this to me, Luke! Fuck!”

Luke knew you didn’t mean it, and Lord knew he hated watching you in agony because he contributed half of your current state, fearing whether any complications through the delivery process would erupt. He just wanted everything to be safe and pain-free, until you chose to deliver naturally without any anesthetic. Quite a risk, but you are not bringing your twins through the usage of any drugs.

You were on the verge of giving up at the moment, craving rest before trying again. But the contractions were too strong for you to doze off, which only prolongs the physical agony. Damn, once you see your mother later, you are going to spill out words of praise for being able to handle this. Through your weakest moment, Luke took this opportunity to kiss your hand, and tell you motivating words because he knew you were much stronger than the contractions.

“Fuck (Y/N), I’m so proud of you. You got this, okay? Bean 1 is almost here.”  

As simple as they were, it mustered up a few more bits of courage and strength for you to channel. Rising back up from your discomforting position, you signaled Dr. Kate that you were ready to go at it. “You sure, (Y/N)? You drained yourself in that last round, and you have another child to deliver.”

Gazing up to meet Luke’s eyes, who has not leaving yours, he held on to your sweaty palm with a hopeful look. “Absolutely.”

Two more tear-jerking pushes alongside a few screams and bean number one was out. Grunting out a heavy breath, your body sunk back at the bed in exhaustion though there was a slight decrease in pressure at your lower region. As you tried to catch your breath, loud wailing surfaced within the hustling of the nurses cleaning off the firstborn. Your droopy eyes got a look of the child, and in awe is the best way to describe this moment.

“It’s a baby girl, Mr. and Mrs. Hemmings. Congratulations.”

Luke couldn’t stray away from the little babe getting cleaned up by one of the nurses, already impatient to carry her in his arms. Most first-time fathers would be fearful with carrying their newborns, yet Luke felt otherwise. He’s waited so long for a child of his own, though having two at the same time isn’t any different.

Though before you would formally meet her, there was still another one who is dying to be delivered and eager to meet its parents. Yes, it. Luke and you chose to find out the gender of the twins on the delivery day. Luckily, bean number two was kind enough to be less painful than its older sister and slid out so easily after three pushes.

At long last, full relief has washed over you with heavy fatigue after almost 20 hours of labor. Slowly resting back on the bed, bean number two screamed its lungs out to alarm of its beginning of life, and only there, tears came running down after everything that has just happened.

“Another baby girl only 10 minutes apart, Mr. and Mrs. Hemmings. Congrats again.”

It’s finally official, you are both parents.

When baby number two was quickly cleaned off the fluids that stuck to her body, she and her other sister were carried by two young nurses and handed one each to you and Luke. They were already sleeping peacefully, fidgeting a bit to find that comfortable position to continue their slumber. The younger one was with you, sporting a knitted purple beanie which you’ve received as a gift from Eleanor on your baby shower. Her cheeks were irresistible not to caress with your index finger up and down, gaining a tiny smirk that softened your heart. “Hi, baby. It’s your mom. Oh, you’re so beautiful.”

Admiring her quietly and even nuzzling your face on her fragrant figure with the famous ‘baby smell’. Dr. Kate’s voice pulled you out of your daze just for a few seconds with a question. “Have you thought of a name, (Y/N)?”

“Yes.” You beamed with pride.

“What would it be then?” Dr. Kate inquired, clicking her black pen down to release the tip as she prepares to write.

“Rebecca Audrey Hemmings.” You catapulted back up to your upright position, acting more proper. Well, tried because Rebecca’s tiny nose was worth a boop or two. “Rebecca because as the youngest, she binds our family together, then Audrey from one of my favorite and classiest actresses of all time, Audrey Hepburn.”

When Dr. Kate got the necessary details, she excused herself with another round of congratulations to share. Now you are left with little Rebecca, you watched her as she abruptly woke up and whimpered because the noises from Dr. Kate woke up.

“Oh, no no. Please don’t cry.” Your whispers negotiated, which worked for a bit until she whimpered again. Rocking her back and forth didn’t work as you wanted, then a different approach came across your mind. Unbuttoning the first few buttons of your night gown that you changed to after the delivery, your free and swollen breast was in contact with the small lips of Rebecca, coming closer when she found the nipple. Thank goodness she suckled on it sweetly than roughly, but at least she was satisfying her hunger.

“Aren’t you a hungry one? Definitely like your mother over here.”

In fact, this simple moment bonded you closer to her, letting yourselves become transparent and vulnerable to each other. You being fatigued and her being new to the world. Side by side, the possibilities of future is endless, and you’ll make sure that you’ll bless her with a great one.

Meanwhile, Luke was tied down on his older daughter by the window, rocking her back in forth with the view of the night sky. Her tiny pupils opened a tiny bit, revealing an identical blue color to her father’s. They were doe-like, full of innocence and unaware of the big world she has joined.

“Would you look at that? We have matching blue eyes.”

Obviously, the newborn could do nothing but stare back at the adult who was in utter captivation by her, his lips parting. Luke trailed a finger on her soft rosy cheeks, which was met by a tight grip of tiny fingers around it. It made him more enamored towards her, and by instinct pecked her bare forehead. Those young eyes of hers which haven’t left his view shined even more from the bright night sky, emphasizing the ocean blues. Luke took a second to look away to glimpse that surreal lighting from the vast night space, finding numerous constellations aligning for everyone to watch.

“Wow, the night sky is just gorgeous, my dear. Come take a look.”

He shifted a bit to his right so his daughter’s view may lean towards the sky than his face momentarily. It worked, and she couldn’t look away up until her eyes were gradually closing. Back to sleep she was. Luke continued to rock her back and forth, humming a familiar tune to soothe her more.

“….I guess I was running from something, I was running back to you….”

“Mr. Luke Hemmings?” A young female voice disrupts his serenading, holding a clipboard with a pen. She was one of the nurses from a while ago based on her scrubs that still have some stains.

“That’s me. Yes?”

“Do you have a name for the little bean you’ve got bundled over there?” She perked up excitedly. Probably a fan from the past trying to hold in her emotions and still act professional. Luke wasn’t too transparent to not notice, but he could care less.

“Yes, I do.” Before he says his answer, he took another admirable look at that same night sky, eyeing on every constellation brightly shining and loving every one of them. It was like fate said that the birth of his daughters is a celebration for the night sky, so they must put on a great show. Having one of his twin daughters in his arms without any anxiety was a stellar scene, one he wishes that would last forever.

“Stella Charlotte Hemmings.” He proclaims with delight with a story as to why that was the chosen combination. “Stella because I know she’ll be shining like a star one day, and Charlotte from the band name of one of my great friends aka. shining legends, Good Charlotte.”

“That is a beautiful backstory.” She swooned as her right hand writes away the details. “You’ve always been very creative with your works, Mr. Hemmings.”

“Wow, witty of you. – And I prefer Luke, by the way.” He chuckled softly, trying not to wake little Stella up because he didn’t want to deal any crying before both of you arrived back home.

“Luke!” You’ve called out, envious of how much time he’s spending with your other child because you wouldn’t want her to think that favoritism is a thing as early as birth. Besides, as her mother, you craved physical contact with her. Luke ended his small talk with the nurse and came to your aid, sitting at the chair by your bedside with a little bundle sleeping serenely in his arms. It was worth a photo, but just moving another limb is tiring enough.

“What did you and that young nurse talk about?”

“Oh, she asked for our little bundle’s name and shared how she was a huge fan back in the day. Autographed her phone before she left.” He responds casually, his eyes kept reverting back to little Stella.

“I’m guessing that’s little Stella.” He nods, standing back up to trade her with the other twin, sleeping away too so she can spend time with you. Now with Rebecca in his arms, he was just as smitten and pecked her forehead too because he couldn’t resist.

“Aww, Rebecca has your nose.” He pointed out, cooing and poking her nose like you did earlier.

“That’s what I thought as well.” You giggled, your finger latched on the miniature hand of Stella.

This moment was too perfect, and nothing can beat it. Now, your wedding has been overthrown as the best milestones in your lives. Despite the pain, it was all worth it.

“Thank you for them, love. I’m sorry I contributed in the pain though.” Luke shyly apologizes, earning a feeble chuckle.

“Don’t be. After all, nothing in life comes easy.”

-

2034, Sydney

Last night’s dinner, kudos to Luke, was pretty exceptional. He was never the one to cook up a meal because back in the day, he almost burned down your old house! At this point, he suggested to hire a butler to serve you when your jobs get too hectic, when you had no more downtime or when you weren’t home when he was. This lead to hiring Mark, which became much less of a burden and a huge help when your pregnancy limited your actions at home.

Starting out as a mom was quite a struggle in the beginning, most especially when you were handling two children. There were time Luke was out working late, and you still had to email back some producers and other important people for your side projects during your maternity leave. When it was about to end, Eleanor actually came across the idea of hiring a nanny when she visited you with young Alex. It was because it would be much less distracting and inconvenient rather than bringing the girls to work. Foreshadowing, this nanny turned out to be Felicia, who was in her mid-twenties then. She was also an excellent chef, a definite plus!

-

Being at the Café Sweetener is something you want to back out because it felt like a mistake, but you knew it wasn’t. You agreed to it because it’s about time to let out some transparency. Even though you’re the victim, your mercy on him remained dominant.

Now seated across him in the café, there was killer silence because you both equally feared of saying the wrong things and set the wrong mood. Well, he brought this on you, but still. As much as possible, this must be handled mutually and figure out where both of you stand in this relationship. Or whether there will still be one after. Paps caught the both of you entering the café individually, assuming that it was a romantic date of sorts. But the pictures they’ve been trying to take, all they got were frowns and weren’t pleased, so they passed on the opportunity.

Both of you were situated on a private area of the café so no one inside could eavesdrop on your agenda, shyly ordering drinks and pastries before discussing everything. Once you received them, here’s where business is done and over with. He must have places to be, and you have a family back at Luke’s waiting for you to spend time with. So where exactly now do you stand?

“I thought you were over her.” You spilled out as you stirred your hot tea and looked at him straight in the eyes. Though his eyes couldn’t even look straight to you due to the shame. He hid his held back emotions for too long and afraid for what you have to say, and he should be. “But you aren’t, are you?”

 He felt the pain in your tone. You’ve gone through so much, and here you are facing heartbreak again. Inevitably, he came to his senses, dropping the façade he attempted to hold strongly. “I thought I was.”

“How so?” That truth hurt like a bitch, and you were trying to show in your face how deep it stung. You needed more reasons just to understand more. Although you wanted to just walk out and leave it be, you were much better than that. Ready to face this head on and no longer that naïve girl who’d run away from her problems, you followed up. “I would like to know more.”

 “What?” He was surprised, almost expecting that you would slap him in the public for all the roaring paparazzi outside desiring a new talk of the town, then storm out because he knew your dealing mechanism is too space away from everything. Besides, he deserved it.

 “Timmy, I’m done walking out and being fearful. Please tell me everything.” You’ve reconnected with your guidance counselor persona for him like in the past. Quite rusty, but you were all ears.

 “Honestly,” He started off, his elbows on the table to get a little closer but there was still a respect of boundaries. “I was bummed as fuck when you declined to attend the afterparty, but I knew you had your reasons with your family which I fully respect. It’s just that, it was something we planned beforehand, and without you, my experience would empty. I felt threatened by Luke too, why do you think I was harsh on him?”

 “What’s there to be threatened at? Luke and I are merely and only work as the parents of Rebecca and Stella, nothing more and less.”

 “Not by the way he looked at you in every picture and interview you did. Fuck, I saw both of you guys being touchy in the theater!” He counteracts, almost slamming her utensils on the table and startling you.

“Wow, can you blame that the film was a masterpiece?! Personal comfort serves a better job than tissues, and again, I’ve told you numerously he and I are trying to regain a strong family foundation so trust is needed for that?” You also weren’t having it as he tried to pin the fault on you for his actions, being the victim now.

“Fuck, now you’re defending him? I saw the way you grazed his fingers and laid your head on his shoulder, (Y/N). Being touchy is beyond the limits of personal, especially with an ex!”  

“Pretty hypocritical of you now huh, Timmy?” You shouted right at his face. This was just overwhelming, and with the way you were battling, neither can win. With a minute to regain energy, you continued on with slight bitterness. “What happened after being bummed out?”

 Timmy exhaled, dreading to tell but he wouldn’t feel fair. “Unexpectedly as I was about to ride the car set for the both of us, I accidentally bumped into Maika on the way. One glance of her, and somehow I felt an a unavoidable string pulling me closer to her so I invited her to the party just as a friend because we just wanted to regain that strong friendship. We sat somewhere private, ate a lot and drank a bit. Not even 2 drinks in, we just revealed everything out; all those pushed back emotions. I cried, and she did too. Drank a few more shots before she said I love you.”

“What did you say? And don’t bullshit it.” You just knew what he was going to say as he finally got the courage to look at you in the eye, but you wanted to hear it for more closure.

“That I loved her too.”

 Do not cry, (Y/N). Do not dare. “Did you m-mean it? – And don’t lie either.”

 “Fuck, I did, (Y/N).”

 Without you realizing, your mind was stimulating your eyes to release tears from heartbreak. You just could never be lucky with romance. To conclude his confession, “It only took one glance to change everything and made me rethink that although it didn’t work out the first time, time away gives you maturity and emotional growth, also time for self-love. Things happened so fast when we were working on Hot Summer Nights and ended the same way. That one simple and accidental glance of her and I felt everything again. Only this time, they were mostly sparks of my affection for her, no matter how hard I tried to deny it.”

 As painful as you felt, these life realizations he was stating really shows how much he’s learned and that he’s dealing it better than you. His pain and guilt were easily sensed by the way his eyes drooped so low that he couldn’t look you straight in the eye as he indirectly pleaded you to respond to this words. As much as this felt like a strong slap on the face, letting him go on with life where such a huge mistake like this will haunt him forever is worse than not saying anything in return, which leaves a mystery. To hold grudges is tempting, but it is also wrong.

 “He cheated, (Y/N). A big red flag.”

“He said that he no longer loved her, yet he betrayed the trust.”

 You were too consumed with your thoughts, not so sure how to approach it properly. As selfish as you want to be because cheating is wrong on all levels, another thought came through, but with a different intention. Something you never figured would be reasonable and still ethical.

 "A soulmate is not who makes you happiest, but who makes you feel the most."

 “She’s like your soulmate, huh?” By the way his voice was quivering yet stated it confidently, it was quite obvious that he was telling the truth. Yes, his actions were wrong because you were still together, but the heart wants what it wants. You are his friend first even if the trust has been tainted, though the road of closure here is maturity and acceptance. Yes as well, you were pained, but you cannot let him be pained too. You weren’t like that.

“Then go after her, Timmy.”

“Wait, what?” Timmy was already prepared for a raging outburst from you, so your recent words were uncalled for.

“Go after her, Timothee. Don’t make me say it again.” You said with dismay, concealing all the heartbreak by building more walls up your ego. “You might lose her forever if you don’t do and say anything.”

He was still in disbelief, wondering if you were messing with his mind and doing some sort of reverse psychology on him so he would stay. “(Y/N), ple-”

“Holding this against you is so tempting, Timothee. I questioned my worth because of it. Although it’s been only a few days since we’ve seen each other, I’ve come to accept that grudges are unhealthy for me. I’ve experienced all sorts of unhappiness these past years, and now I will no longer stand for it.” You tilted his chin up with your index finger so you would get a better view, caging all those pre-destined tears and praying for calmness of nerves. Timmy sucked up and captured in the view of you, heavily breathing for the tension. “If only one person between us should get their happy ending, it should be you.”

“Don’t say that, (Y/N). Are you that oblivious?” Timmy grew capable to talk again, letting his instincts do the talking.

“Oblivious to what?” You peaked an interest with his question. He blinked twice, gathering his thoughts so that what he was bound to say wouldn’t come out wrong. He already messed up the first time, so he’s pressured that he shouldn’t make more faults.

“(Y/N), Luke is still so obviously and madly in love with you.”

A cat got your tongue and doesn’t intend on giving it back. Were you hoping it was true? You weren’t sure, but one thing was, and it was that he’d stop talking about it. “You have no proof, Timothee. Now please don’t make this harder for the both of us.” You rejected his allegation, praying that the attention doesn’t get to you. But you jinxed it, because Timmy didn’t stop from there.

“He looked so happy when you were taking photos in the red carpet, and those looks he gave at you? Fuck, those were the same lovingly looks he gave when you were still married. I’m not that stupid, you know.” He was very specific with his observations, and it created dead air between the both of you. Though his stare at you was raising in intensity, he was positive that he will get you to admit the actual truth because he was confident enough that you were hiding it.

But were you really hiding anything to begin with? Have your feelings towards Luke really dead? Was it really all strictly parental? Sure, he comforted you in stressful times, but was it only friendly? With this, it leads to the main question is: do you still love him? You were stressfully contemplating on all these resurfaced questions, dreading how much effort will be drained from your brain.

“I’m sure he isn’t in love with me anymore, Timothee. In fact, he’s getting married soon, and I’ve already let him go years ago because I’m just too toxic for him, and vice versa.”

Timothee was still unfazed, disagreeing with your actions. “(Y/N), you’re letting him go because you love him and want him to be happy, even Sierra is awful. How can you not see that? Also, why are you allowing him to get off with that woman?” Timmy was testing your boundaries, almost turning the situation 360 degrees, wherein you were now in question and not him. Because he’s admitted his actual feelings, he really wanted you to keep in touch with yours.

“Look, I don’t want to interfere with Luke’s personal life, Timmy. That isn’t something I would even do! One thing is for sure and it is that he deserves happiness, even if I’m no longer in the equation.”

“But I believe that you’re his true happiness, (Y/N). Sierra could never match up to you.” He insists, making your thoughts and emotions grow wild. You thought you could’ve hidden them so much more, but your mind and heart are malfunctioning due to all those recent late night signs and contemplations that are getting you to realize that they aren’t a coincidence.

Bringing Stella to Camp Wonder? There was hesitation on your behalf, but your mother asserted you to push through with it so it can teach Stella new things and make her more independent. She would’ve never met Rebecca if you let her stay with you. With Rebecca, she was living with her father.

Going to the VMAs? It was a comeback after all those years, and it made people happy. Not having done it would never let you unexpectedly encounter Luke and catch you off guard before your daughters formally did. That was a sign of awe, getting your heart racing already, but you had to shut it down first.

Looking through old things in the “Luke” box while wearing his musky sweater without hesitation after he brought you home from Delilah’s? If you didn’t do it, you would have never reminisced those happy days and open up to Luke because back then, he did make you the happiest girl alive.

Inviting him to your film premiere? It was the first time in a decade that you and he were spotted together. If you didn’t invite him, you would be a nervous wreck stuttering in every question in the interviews and an emotional one too if he didn’t sit beside you and exchanged minimal touches to calm your system.

Meeting that cab driver? He made you rethink everything and really evaluate your life with him. If he didn’t interfere, you wouldn’t have connected with your heart before you slept with your mascara-tainted face, wherein your laziness caved in.

Quite frankly, there happens to be a link with these instances, but there was one more that confirmed everything you’ve tried to deny: last night before dinner. You’ve kept a close eye on every bodily and facial feature of him and knowing its emotional equivalence when you and he talked about your days. In fact, you had racing thoughts that kept directing to the unholy side numerously and didn’t put too much effort in redirecting them back to the platonic zone. You chose to think that way because you couldn’t help yourself. Shamelessly enough, it was like you were still wrapped around his finger and never really let go. Only loosened.

And so whether or not you still love him, he was getting married already to a woman whom you’ve despised. In risking that he knows that you both hate each other, you kept your mouth shut. If this was another chance at happiness, let him be. There may be something in Sierra that he actually accepts and appreciates that you couldn’t see through, so he needs to take it.

“God, you need to rethink this through, (Y/N). All the signs are there, laid out in front of you.”

“But I already ha-”

“You’re letting a great man to marry an evil woman. It wouldn’t just be him at fault, but your daughters as well.” Timmy said monotonously as he took that last gulp of his coffee, closing his eyes as a mechanism to further enjoy its bittersweet taste because all he’s received are bitter vibes. He treasured that small percentage of the sweet, alarmed that from here on until God knows when, he would live with that mistake of betraying you.

“I need space from you, Timmy.” You’ve looked intently at him as the pressure in your system boiled up, wanting to process everything once more solo. He was correct without a doubt with what you’re doing, but he still fucked up more than you.

“I understand, (Y/N).” He got up from his seat and left the napkin from his lap on the table. Taking slow steps away, he stopped by your shoulder and put a hand on it. “I may have messed up, and I’m fucking sorry that I did what I did. But remember that you deserve happiness. I can’t force you to love him again, but at least you must do the right thing. – Goodbye for now, (Y/N).”

“Goodbye, Timmy.” He kissed the top of your head as he slowly distances away from you. You could’ve already turned into a crying mess because that has been so common these past days with everything that’s resurfacing and occurring, but no. Not this time.

“Do the right thing, (Y/N).”

And damn right, you will.    

-

“Good night, girls.” Luke waves at the two, who’ve reached the top of the stairs already.

“Night, dad. Night, mom.” They said in sync before going inside Rebecca’s room, which was quite a mess since Stella hasn’t properly organized her belongings meant for her luggage. She had shirts on Beck’s bed, some sneakers under it, and even her dress from the premiere was crumpled on the mini rolling chair by Beck’s study desk.

As much as she didn’t want to pack yet, she had to, or else you would leave her behind. Although it was a good idea since she knew how to travel alone, it would be fair to you. Either way, the situation of leaving (or staying) was a lose-lose situation. She already risked so much just days ago for and with her father, and she couldn’t allow herself to get in a rough state ever again with you, who was just as broken as he is. What a heart-warming thing that she really has all this love her despite that consented lack of paternal influence for a decade, even if she had no idea about the breakup. With or without knowing, she kept an eye on you always just like you. Like mother, like daughter.

Rebecca laid back on her headboard, lowly viewing the slowness and feeling the emotional heaviness of her twin sister’s movement to load her luggage. She was just as disheartened that Stella was leaving when everything is about to get better with the family, and it worries that she didn’t have a clue when she’d see her again personally. Sure, video calls exist, but with the wide time difference? It’s too much of a sacrifice for one of them to be awake late night, while it’s day time for the other since school was about to start for them individually. They respect each other so much that they wouldn’t want to disrupt their rest and health. Regardless, she is thankful. Thankful they had time to achieve a huge chunk of their initial plan.

Throughout it, they matured so flawlessly from the different experiences that profoundly influenced their mindsets since now, it will be very important because they are almost reaching their teenage years. Also, the wise words they have received from the new people they’ve met and those whom they knew their entire lives. The main learning experience they took home for them to really cherish in the long term was that though you dream so big it hurts because you really want it to come true, you should still take things slowly because hard work and growing isn’t overnight.

A proper application of that would be their parents’ past romance.

To recap, their main mission was to set you two up again in hopes you’ll fall in love again, get married and receive the dream happy ending of having a complete family. But in time, they processed the logic that forcing that kind of commitment and rushing it all in the limited time they were given only would worsen things and crumble down. Luke indirectly revealed from the Sierra incident that he and you broke things off because there was a lack of trust and based on previous calculations from the day you met up to the day you married, it was all happening so fast. It was almost like back then, the honeymoon stage lasted for too long that when it was over, neither of you could handle the pressure.

With that in their knowledge, no same mistakes should be done twice. Surely, it gutted them harshly to accept this, but in order for this to work, it’s about time to take things slowly. Learn and relearn from each other and not to expect too. No longer was the endgame for the both of you to fall back into love, but to grow and strengthen the family for all the missed time.

“Earth to Becks. Becks to Earth.” Rebecca was removed from her thinking realm when she overheard her twin calling out her name numerously. How long has she been in her trance? 

 “Shit, sorry. What were you saying, Stella?” She trained her mind to focus on her twin, no more dozing off like usually what she does in her math classes. 

“Well, I was saying that everything was too fast and too soon. Shucks, now the family is mending back to pieces, I’m leaving you and dad again.” She wept, the separation anxiety already kicking in her system. As much as she loved you, she disliked that your job is interfering with all these family plans, all before it was time to go home and get back to school. Times will get busier, and the future is unpredictable. What if cutting ties again will occur? 

It’s a good thing she isn’t alone on this fear. “I’m on the same page too, Stella. It’s too soon yeah. But hey, at least we had some memories for keeps, right?” Rebecca attempts to remain optimistic, anxious for the unknown. Then out of the blue, her phone vibrated against her pocket, which is a signal that she got a message. As she yanked it out, it was none other than Darcy Styles. She couldn’t hold back her smile and quiet giggling when she slid on the notification, unlocking her phone.

[10:36 PM] Darcy Styles: Hey love! How was your day?

 Ever since Darcy and Becks switched numbers at the movie premiere, they’ve been talking non-stop about anything, like food, TV shows, animals, the possibilities are endless! Phone calls were rare because they live on opposite sides, and there hasn’t been any down time, so texting was easily accessible.

 [10:37 PM] Becks Hemmings: Pretty fun! Went around Sydney with the fam! How about you?

 Yet only recently, they’ve grown even closer when Becks let herself vulnerable to her through messages when she was on the way home from the beach house post-Sierra, when the deadliest silence was driving her nuts mentally. If you think that the Sierra issue was only between your and the bands’ families, you thought wrong. Issues like that can really affect how you think, and at her young age, she needed more support. And seeking that from Darcy even she wasn’t physically there to comfort her was really helpful.

 Darcy is different from all her old and new friends, like she really understood the struggles and open in giving proper advice. Becks is not one to let her guard down easily, but with Darcy, she felt secured. It’s too soon to say, but with their continuous conversation, Becks finds herself questioning more, and it hasn’t been the first time.

 “Ooh who texted?” Stella cooed, zipping up her final luggage with a hint of trouble because there were too much items tightened inside. Back and forth with the zipper so it wouldn’t break, she got to close it eventually and jumped to the bed, where her twin still hasn’t answered her question. Even though she knew who it was, she wanted to hear it for herself.

 “Jane, from camp. Remember her?” Becks lied, keeping her phone out from Stella’s lingering eyes. But Stella was quicker than her to glimpse at their recent messages, squealing, “Yeah right!! Totally not one of my best friends, that’s for sure.”

 Rebecca got flustered, not used to having anyone to talk to about these growing feelings that she has never experienced. Freaked out was an understatement too because these kinds of feelings towards someone who is the same sex as her was still not okay in society, and she didn’t want anyone to change their view on her. Most especially her family.

“Hey, you okay? You look zonked.” Stella snapped her fingers at her, halting her racing thoughts. 

 “Oh y-yeah. Feeling perfect.” Another lie leaves Rebecca, only this time, Stella knew she wasn’t being honest, and that breaks an aspect of their sisterly pact. This cannot be.

 “Hey.” Stella starts off, obviously seeing her sister’s fright. She felt nervous too. “You know you can tell me anything? We are family after all.” 

 Rebecca was ashamed to have said those lies as she recalled of their pact, but they were her shield. Though the world has progressed so much these past decades, sadly there was still a slight stigma, and she heavily reflected on that. She’s seen clips online and on the television about kids like her who were disowned and even murdered because of how they identify themselves. Also, she felt as if she was invalid because she couldn’t just choose one to fully like without others having to say that “there’s no middle ground! just choose one.”

 “Rebecca? - Look, I’m not pressuring you to share me what you’re feeling, okay?”

 She was called again by Stella, who stated a disclaimer, although she really wanted to understand what her twin was feeling. Rebecca trusted Stella enough to know that she has no prejudice in her heart, but she was still hesitant. Regardless, she needs to be an honest girl. She took a deep breath, praying to the heavens for the best. “You do remember Jane, right?”

“Oh yes, Jane. She “accidentally” spilled orange juice on me that one time when we were still enemies in camp during lunch time.” Stella gestured, reminiscing such an embarrassing moment. “I’m sorry, but she was kind of a little shit.” 

 Rebecca chuckled. “None taken.” 

 “What about her though?” Stella continued on, wanting to know the main point of Rebecca bringing her up. 

 This is where Rebecca had her nerves all over the place, trying to calm them down so she could speak more sanely and properly. She managed to get this far, so might as well open up more so she could more truthful to Stella, and most importantly, herself. It was a good first step, and Stella was all ears. 

 “Well, one late night in my cabin with her and Hannah way before you and I met, we were playing truth and dare. I chose truth, and Hannah asked if I’ve ever kissed a boy.”

 “And then?”

 “I said yes, with some boy in my Math class way before camp. His name was Noah, and he was pretty cute. Anyways, not the point. When I was done, Hannah asked Jane the same question, where Jane said dare. This is where things for me got more mind-blowing.”

 “What happened, Becks? You’re scaring me.” Stella says with unease. 

 Rebecca prepared herself for the worse, and admitted, “Hannah dared her to kiss me. And when we did, she cringed and ran away because she was embarrassed. It’s like I’m supposed to feel the same as her and shake off the cringe, but I didn’t. I actually enjoyed it.” 

 Stella struggled to comprehend at first, asking “So wait, you liked the kiss from Jane in the same way you kissed Noah?” 

 Rebecca nodded, her voice growing shaky as she added, “To be honest with you, this hasn’t been the first time I’ve liked boys and girls in the same way. - I used to have a big crush on Nick when we were in preschool because he always gave me flowers, and Alex teased me about it a lot. It died when he began giving flowers to someone else, no hard feelings alongside. Although when I was around 7, I became attracted to Scarlett, who was around 9. She is a great singer, and really pretty, having brown curly hair with green eyes that caught me off guard. She was my first girl crush, until she called me a “little sister from another mister.” Indirectly, I was friendzoned, but I’m glad that it made me realize more things about myself.” 

 “Which was? Summarize everything, poppet.” Stella was still puzzled, but not as much as earlier. Rebecca was right, noticing that she had no judgmental faces to give and open to listen to her. She felt safe.

 “I’ve accepted that I like boys and girls in the same romantic way. – Stella, I’m bi.” She came out, yet hid herself under a blanket like before with you, when she revealed her real self. This moment coincidentally mirrored that. This was a huge step for Rebecca in accepting a part of her identity, and she’s relieved to have done it.  Still, she braced herself with her twin has to say about it. “Say something please.”

Stella was pretty stunned at first because she would’ve never figured Rebecca felt this way. However, it was not the first time to experience and meet someone who was not straight; an example already is Gina. This has already opened her mind about the various kinds of diversities in our world and increased her interest in learning these new things. She could never see herself as someone with ignorance because those types of things cannot be chosen, they just come along. And the best way to go is to accept, learn more and love equally. “Uncover yourself first, Becks.” 

Stubborn at first, Rebecca came to her senses and followed the older twin, removing the thick white duvet from her face. She sat upright, her eyes were still viewing downwards to her sweaty palms. Stella sees right through her emotions, and clasps her hands on the sides of Rebecca’s hands, trapping them. Rebecca was surprised, making her look upwards to her sister, with a sensible grin. “What made you so afraid to tell me, poppet?” 

She didn’t expect such an inviting tone, fearing that it could be a façade in order to make her feel better. But she had a gut feeling that Stella wouldn’t lie like she minimally did, it would worsen their sisterly pact. 

“I was scared that you would look at me differently, like I’ve seen films and videos of people who came out and aren’t accepted. I just got you and mom back, and I didn’t want to lose you again.” Rebecca shed a single tear, successfully trying her best to refrain from producing another. Stella caught it, wiping it away from her face. 

“You will never lose me and mom, alright? Don’t even think of that!” She reassured. Rebecca was thankful to be accepted for who she is really is, wherein no more hiding secrets between her twin. Though, there is still you and Luke to tell.

“Does dad know?” Stella added. Rebecca shook her head left and right, her thoughts redirecting now to him. Will he still love her in the same, fatherly way? 

“Ooh, I see. But no rush, okay? - There is no need to feel ashamed, Rebecca. It’s part of who you are! We live in a time where topics like this aren’t as taboo as they used to be way back based on what school taught me, so you must embrace that, and if others don’t like it, then screw ‘em! Easier said than done, but this is a start. So thank you for trusting me, I fully accept and love you and nothing will ever change that.” Stella elaborated positively, then willingly offers a hug to Rebecca, who takes it. This made her heart grow 10 times bigger because she was understood properly. 

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” Rebecca mumbled under her breath, but loud enough for Stella to hear. As they part from their intimate gesture with warm hearts, Stella brought up a previous question back. “So, who actually texted you a while ago?” 

“Darcy.” Rebecca comfortably answered. “We’ve been talking since the premiere, though it’s all friendly.” 

“Yeah right! Do you think I don’t see your eyes and smile beam up when she texts? You’re into her, 100 percent!”

“Am not! I may like girls, but I can still be friends with them! And hey, do you think I don’t see how much you gush around Alex recently?” Rebecca retaliated proudly, finally getting to ask that especially after she’s sneakily watched them from afar at the campfire. “You know, I saw you guys get cozy back at the beach house, specifically at the camp fire.” 

“That was nothing really. We were just getting to know each other more since most of you guys left to either pee or get sodas when we weren’t up for them!” Stella defended herself with the truth. Or so she thought it was as of now. Girls can be just friends with guys, anyways.

“O-kay, whatever you say, bub.” Rebecca surrendered her arguing even though she had more receipts towards her sister and best friends getting very close. Majority of people would be disgusted if they found that their sibling is dating their best friend, but not with Stella. She’s already thinking in advance, and she’s pretty cool with it if something happens. But if any of them mess up or fool around, then damn prepare yourself. 

“Let’s not think too ahead of ourselves okay? Let’s just focus on now please. – Okay, wait. I just realized something.” Stella adds on.

“What is it?”

Cue maturity development.

“Pretty tough to say, but I’m happy that there’s no more bad blood between mom and dad. Like although it’s a bonus, it doesn’t matter to me anymore if they don’t fall in love again like we wanted, but just to have this time together was much better.”

“I actually agree. We should never force them to do that because falling in love again isn’t easy, and since mom is with uncle Timmy, we should respect that. As long as the family is reunited happily and I get to see you and mom more, then I’m happy too.” They hugged once more to seal their sisterly love, before Rebecca brings up a less serious topic and gets a hold of her laptop from her study desk before lying back down. 

“So, remember we asked how mom and dad met? It was through one of dad’s music videos, Valentine?”

“Yup, what about it?”

“Wanna take a look at it then? It’s just in Youtube anyways.” 

“Omg yes, type away!” Stella cheered, watching her sister type the words and clicking on the first video that came up, with Luke and you on the thumbnail. As they listen to the song and view the video attentively, they adored at how little you’ve facially and physically aged.

“Wow, they look amazing.” 

“Woah, mom’s kissing everyone here.”

Those were some of the many comments they gave, jamming along to the familiar song they’ve overheard playing when they were still apart. How music is truly strong in connecting people. Afterwards, Stella suggested Netflix on Rebecca’s widescreen television, which was fulfilled because the latter wanted to watch as well. As they scrolled through numerous categories of films, they settled on old family movies, ranging mostly from Disney. Nothing has yet caught their eye since they’ve watched numerous times, until they landed on unfamiliar film, of which once they’ve read a synopsis, they were hooked. 

“Hmm, the Parent Trap. Looks promising.” Stella plays the mini trailer of the film, intrigued.

“When two girls who seem to be polar opposites meet at summer camp, they think they have nothing in common -- only to discover they're identical twins.” Rebecca reread, crinkling her eyes in realization. “Could relate to us, huh?”

“Probably? But we won’t find out ‘til we play the movie? Come on now!” Stella infers, impatient for her sister to press the play button. 

“Jeez, chill! Pressing play.”

-

“(Y/N), wait!” Luke chases after you after you ran away in shock. You were in disbelief, lacking oxygen in your lungs at the bomb Luke has just dropped. Nothing could stop your pace as you dangerously leaped the slippery steps. Blasting open the door of the guest room, you loudly locked it shut before jumping on the bed with your raging emotions. Screaming against your pillow, a waterfall of tears were released. Only this time, it was the peak of your pain. You hiccuped more than usual and screamed until your throat became dry.

Not so long later, soft knocks crept in when you removed the pillow on top of your head. “(Y/N), please let’s talk.”

“Leave me alone.” You shouted back, too hurt to face him and full of anger in your heart. 

“Please open the door. I’m begging you.” Luke knelt against the door, pleading to explain.

“Just go away, Luke.” 

[itsalljust-a-fantasy]

intimacy

you left a mark..

the insensitivity of your love

how you smother and suffocate me with..

your love.

you make me feel like I can’t breath

you make me feel vulnerable and weak

you left a mark..

on every part of my skin where your lips have touched

you left a mark..

on each heartbeat I’ve skipped reaching such heights of pleasure where you hear me moan “fuck I’m gonna cum”..

the insensitivity of your love have captured the most weakest moments of mine.

the insensitivity of your intimacy have made me beg for more while screaming “baby I can’t take it anymore”.

y o u l e f t a m a r k .

-l.h