#visited my grandparents today and we got into talking about this
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forgetbeam · 7 months ago
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i’m gonna be real if my grandmother can understand “the people of israel aren’t at fault for what their government/military is doing, in fact many of them are actively against it, and both israeli and palestinian people deserve to live in peace in their own homes” then idk why so many online leftists can’t grasp that same concept
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lesbiansanemi · 5 months ago
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Was doing so good holding it together today but now that I’m laying down and trying to sleep I’m tearing up and I can feel that I’m about to burst into tears any second now
#my mom called me like ten minutes before I was off work today#and asked if I had talked to my grandpa lately and I was like yeah some why?#I’ve been showing what I’ve been cooking with him and my grandma because I was proud of myself#and she was like oh so you know about his potential surgery?#and I was like. his what???????#apparently his pace maker is dying and malfunctioning and he needs a new one#but this is the third time it’s had to be replaced and as he’s gotten older he’s had a lot more health issues#and they��re not even sure his heart can handle getting it replaced…. he has an appointment tomorrow to find that out#and no one told me. no one fucking told me it was that bad and I’m so#like man my feelings on my grandparents are so insanely complicated but I do love them#I love them so much and they practically raised me and loved me more and treated me better than my mother EVER did#they’re the only family members I’ve ever been legitimately terrified and upset over not accepting me cuz I’m queer#like my mom and siblings? I could not give a flying fuck if they hated me for my gender or sexuality#if my grandparents had a bad reaction I think I would fucking kill myself#and idk the point is I love him and I’ve barely seen him at all the past few years because we live far away now and I never visit because I#hate the rest of my family#but what if he can’t have this surgery?????#or what if he can but something goes wrong??????#what if he’s dying and I’m only able to go down and see him one more time#and he could be fine. it might all work out and he could be fine#but man I’m terrified that won’t happen because WHY WOULD NO ONE TELL ME ANY OF THIS#and yeah no I’m fully crying now I can’t do this#he taught me to draw and he built the house I grew up in and he got me into lord of the rings and would take me book shopping#and and and I’m gonna fucking throw up#kaz rambles
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flickeringflame216 · 2 months ago
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🗒
#blessings roll call!#feel free to hop in the tags or replies <3#started my new job this week-- working as a PT tech at a rehab clinic#that training is going well and it's such a blessing to not have to be actively searching for a job during the semester#since I've got a very full class schedule trying to find time to apply and interview would be a nightmare rn#so grateful that got done literally right before the semester picked up#and now I can focus on learning the job. also praise that all my coworkers are kind and patient.#school is going better than expected. there's a lot to do but so far I'm doing really well in all my classes#and singing in choir has been such a joy!#we have so many gorgeous pieces including a Sara Teasdale poem arranged for chorale#it sounds heavenly! the solo is lovely and the alto part is a lot of sustained notes that come together with the other parts to make this#insane almost organ-like sound#got to chat with my bestie today at my other job which was good#homemade soup!#food in general actually. The first week or two of the semester I was subsisting on nothing or junk food#and got to the point where I was starting to feel like crap and went grocery shopping#I've been bringing meals to college and work the last 2 weeks and it's made such a difference!#and I missed eating vegetables and actually getting protein so now I have nutrient-dense meals and it's great#actually getting close to enough sleep and it's been great#talked to my grandparents about visiting over Christmas break and they're down so I might be going to see them soon!#hanging out with my sister a bit more now that we drive to school together#despite being super busy it's been a good month. ups and downs but overall the best September I've had in a while#prayer request-- the one thing I haven't been consistent with is my quiet times.#definitely struggling in that area right now. please pray I can spend time in worship and prayer and study even when I don't feel like it <#college chronicles#journal
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homunculus-argument · 5 months ago
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A story of how this one guy's dog almost got killed by a whistling weiner:
The difference between a great story and mediocre one is all about presentation. Today I was reminded of the time when I was around 7-8 years old, and me and a handful of my cousins were at our grandparents' house when one of grandpa's hunting buddies came to visit. Drinking his coffee with a flock of curious small kids cautiously staring at him, this guy decided to amuse himself by telling us a story of the time his dog almost got killed by a sausage. A whistling sausage.
Knowing the local peoples' sense of humour, I figured that this guy is just doing a bit, even when he swore that this story is completely true. And as we giggled and kept insisting that he's talking fairytales, he reassured us again, it was true, grandpa was there. And we looked at our grandfater who was smiling, clearly seeing where this is going, and nodded very slowly. And our grandfather wasn't the type of a guy to tell stories, he rarely said three words in a row and certainly didn't waste them on nonsense. And he, an honest man, had just verified that he was there to witness this.
They had been on a hunting trip, I think it was 5 men altogether, with their dogs. It was that time of the year when people argue whether it's very late autumn or very early winter. Stinging cold, nonetheless. Taking a break before heading home, the hunters made a fire at a spot next to a lake, observing that the lake already had a thin crust of ice over it. If it wasn't already winter, it sure would be soon.
Now this is where the sausage comes in. Innocuously in the same package as its peers, indistinguishable from the others. Warming up by the fire, with their dogs gathered around them - sitting, sleeping, or begging, each according to their own nature - the men cooked their sausages, drinking coffee and talking jovially amongst themselves about whatever hunters do on pauses like that. The man telling the story had his best dog with him, he mentioned her by name, and at the time, she was still quite young but definitely promising, and was sleeping curled up beside his feet.
And then, the sausage he was cooking whistled. The way that they sometimes do as you heat them up on a fire, but somehow the whistling of this one was abnormally loud and high-pitched, and comically long, going
PWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
This scared the shit out of this guy's dog. Born and bred to chase moose and corner bears, and accustomed to the sounds of gunfire, this dog was startled fuckless by the sound of this whistling weiner. Snapping from dead sleep to her feet, she bolted. To the lake. And right through the ice.
At this point I would like to stress that while everyone who loves their dogs would go to great lengths to save them, these hunting dogs are a treasure to their hunters. I don't know what a good dog would even cost if you could convince a hunter to sell one, but my grandfather's best dog had a grander funeral than my father did. They are a big deal. So it was rescue mission time.
The guy telling the story went into much greater detail about what a huge ordeal getting that bitch out of the ice was than I will here, but it was certainly a hassle. By the time the dog was out of the water, two men were soaked to their waists with icy water and the dog was wet all the way through. Two of their cars were started and kept idling with full heat blasting to warm and dry the two men and one dog while the other three men tried their best to thaw and dry the men's pants, laughing about how the guys would even start explaining their wives why they had to drive home literally ass naked.
And to express her gratitude for being saved from a certain and icy death, the hunting dog in question pissed on a car seat.
And that was the story of how this guy's dog was almost killed by a whistling weiner.
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starlightazriel · 5 months ago
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bad boy az part 5
warnings: 18+ , 16/18 age gap, angst, death, overdose, heartbreak, self loathing/sabotage, childhood trauma/abuse, drug addiction/abuse, dark rough az, degradation, smut
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wc: 4.4k
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Visiting my grandparents with a broken heart was like torture. Forced smiles and laughs at dinner, which they insisted had to be an outing every single night, since it wasnt often that we came to visit. Christmas dinner had been the only exception. I checked my cellphone relentlessly but there was absolutely no sign of him, not on social media, no texts... No calls... As if none of it had ever even happened, my only reminder that it was all in fact very real were the text conversations which I was now re reading over and over.
There was one particular day that I had been sick, and he sent me a photo of himself a bored solemn expression on his face, I had saved that one, not even believing how incredibly sexy he was. That someone that sexy was even talking to me, let alone fucking me.
you could have told me you were ditching today butterfingers. horrible without you.
im sick, im not ditching. it can't be that bad, you haven't even spoke to me at school all week azriel
i know im not good at saying how i feel but everything is better with you
I remembered the way my heart had nearly jumped out of my chest reading that. How could he say things like that but not want anything to do with a relationship with me? How could we have sex like that and him not feel anything for me?
Maybe it wasn't that, maybe he was just afraid of what he felt. I knew that he had been different around me, I knew that I had gotten a version of him that no one else did. Maybe he had just created that for me, maybe he just really needed help with his classes.
It didnt matter the reason. He was gone anyway, he had offered to be friends but ignored me, granted I had only sent one text, using every ounce of self control that I had not to call him our keep texting him until he gave me something, even if it was just to let me know that he was okay.
-
Azriel was out of his mind. He was spiraling. Nothing helped, nothing worked to get her out of his head. Sure, he could dull his senses enough not to feel anything, but whenever the substance of choice wore off it was always just her there. Her crying and puffy face, her eyes that showed him pure heartbreak, her first heart break, and he knew all too well how that felt.
Though for him it hadn't been a girl, it had been his mom, leaving him alone with his monster of a father. Saving herself but not taking him with her, for all she knew she could have been leaving her little boy to die. He remembered how his first heart break had felt like darkness consuming him, like all the air had been sucked out of his lungs, like no matter how hard he tried to swim up there was something holding him under water. And he did that to y/n. It was haunting almost every one of his thoughts, it made him feel sick to his stomach with guilt. And there was the fact that he missed her, more than anything or anyone that he had ever missed, more than he had missed his mother even in those first few years after she left.
The first night, he had gone to a rave with Rhys and Cass. They raved until 4 am, rolling on Molly, a sea of bodies and heat. He had fucked someone that night, figuring that if anything got his mind off of her it would be some new pussy. Of course that hadn't worked, and really it only made things worse since he had woken up to a text from her. im sorry for anything i said when i was drunk. maybe we can talk when i get back. He hadn't responded, feeling too guilty that he had fucked someone the very night after he broke her heart. While she had been thinking about him, thinking that she had done something wrong, he had been high out of his mind fucking some random in a dirty bathroom. But this was the very reason that he knew breaking it off was the right choice in the first place. He was and always would be a shit bag.
He had been at Rhys and Cass' place every day, they knew something was wrong with him but they didnt pry. They let him cope how he always did, skated with him at the indoor skate park til they were all battered and sore, drunk with him, partied with him, got stoned and high with him.
"You sure you don't want to talk about it? You've been dipping into your stash a lot, starting to get a little concerning," Rhys raises a brow, scaling out some weed into eighth bags. He hadn't realized how quiet he had been. He also hadn't necessarily realized that they'd noticed he was dabbling in substance just a little bit more than usual.
"Yeah, no Im good," he shrugs, rising to his feet, dusting off ashes that had collected on his clothing from smoking. "I should go," he bid them both goodbye before exiting the apartment.
He didnt miss the look of concern they exchanged between each other.
-
Azriel stood in the door way to his living room, almost frozen in shock. The tv was distant background noise even though the volume was almost all the way up. If he didnt know any better he thought the days of rolling were getting to his head and that he was hallucinating it.
His father was face down in vomit and broken glass, he must have fallen into the coffee table and shattered it when he passed out. He didnt have to check, the silence, the white noise buzzing in his ears to the point he almost couldn't hear anything else at all told him that his father was dead. He had probably been dead for hours based on the dryness at the edges of the pool of vomit underneath him.
He didnt feel an ounce of sadness, he didnt know how to feel really, right now, he thought it had to be pure shock. Azriel reached down and picked up a cigarette from a pack that head been on the floor, he lit it, staring down at his fathers body, thinking about every horrible thing he had put him through. The scene before him reminded him about a night when he was fourteen years old, he had stolen his dad's bottle of Jameson and drank the entire thing out of boredom. Rhys and Cass had been away that summer, so he remembered how horribly bored and how much trouble he had gotten into that year. He remembered being so sick never having drank that much before, he remembered throwing up on his hands and knees, his dad kicking him down into his own pile of vomit beneath him. He had watched him struggle to get up, time and time again, he would just laugh kick him down again until Azriel was so weak and dehydrated and physically exhausted, with nothing left in his system to vomit he had just dry heaved, laying there in his own throw up. "Lay there and think about what you did," his dad had growled while tying a thin piece of plastic around his upper arm in preparation to shoot up.
"Goodnight dad," Azriel smirked, letting out a small chuckle at the irony of the situation. He threw the cigarette butt into the center of the pool of vomit, watching it sizzle out. "Lay there and think about what you did," he says and turns before retreating upstairs to his room. His fathers body would be a tomorrow issue.
-
Before the police had come, Azriel gathered every bit of paraphanelia and all of his drug money that was hidden under the floor boards and stuffed everything into a bag that went into his trunk. He knew he wasnt a suspect or anything, the town cops were well acquainted with his father and it was an easy open and shut overdose case. Still, he didnt want to risk getting bagged for something else when they were collecting evidence.
Azriel sat on the porch now, smoking a cigarette while he watched the paramedics haul his dad's black plastic wrapped body into the ambulance to be taken to the morgue, a bored expression on his face. He felt more empty than he had in a long time, he didnt know if it was the fact that he had been doing ecstasy for almost the entire week, the fact that he had found his father dead and overdosed the night before, or if it was the fact that he couldn't just pick up his phone and call y/n anymore.
He had been asked to do a news piece. Of course they were covering his deadbeat, nothing father's death on the local news. In a small town like this they had to cover everything for there to be anything to talk about. He had obviously declined, though he knew they would still use his fathers name, probably show his house... "Chief, I gotta get outta here," Azriel had tossed the cigarette off of his porch and was standing now, his hands shoved into the pocket of his hoodie.
"Youre good Azriel, just leave the door open for evidence and the hazmat team," the place chief nods and Azriel retreats to his room, packing his things to stay at Rhys and Cass' place for a few nights. Death was like a blanket that now covered his entire house, and he couldn't handle it.
-
Returning to school was just as miserable as being at my grandparents house. There was a buzz in the air about something, I didnt bother to try and figure out what it was. Nothing besides grades and Azriel really mattered anymore, even though the latter was only an empty hole in my chest at this point. I didnt expect to see him at school, I knew he would probably skip the first few days, and even if he didnt I knew I was the last person he wanted to see.
"Y/n," Maggie says a little breathlessly, jogging up to my locker at the end of the day. "Ive literally been looking for you all day, did you hear about Azriel?" she asks, my head snaps to the side, my eyes landing on hers. She knew about everything that happened with Azriel and her stance was that all boys are the same and he was just afraid to commit. No matter how many times I tried to tell her that Azriel wasn't like anyone else, she didn't listen.
"What happened?" I asked quickly, immediately assuming the worst, jail, car accident. I should have paid more attention to the gossip earlier.
"He found his dad... Like dead, in his house, drug overdose, you didnt hear?" she says, her brows furrowing slightly. "Literally like two or three days ago. It's so fucked, have you talked to him?" she asks, I just blink a few times, staring back at her. The thought of Azriel finding his dad like that made my gut twist, I wanted to cry.
"Um, no," I said quietly, hugging my text book to my chest. "He's still not speaking to me," I tack on quietly, now feeling guilty for not trying to reach out again. "I gotta go Maggie, thanks for letting me know," I close my locker, turning toward the door.
"Are you okay?" she asks, I could feel her watching after me, I turn my head back to give her a reassuring nod.
"I'm fine."
-
I knocked on Azriels door after school every day for three days straight. He didnt come to school, he didnt call, he didnt text, despite the number of texts I had now sent him. It was a new day now, Thursday and still he wasnt at school, so I took the familiar route to his house and knocked on his door three times. My heart leapt when the door swung open only a few moments later, my lips parted in surprise when it wasnt Azriel there, but a woman.
"Can I help you sweetie?" She was middle aged, wrinkles forming around her eyes and corners of her mouth. Tan skin and black hair like Azriels, and that wasnt the only thing they shared. She had Azriels eyes. Those beautiful, pooling, mysterious hazel eyes.
His mother?
"I-" I stuttered softly, staring up at her. "I was just looking for Azriel," I finally manage to get out.
"Well that makes two of us," she says and clicks her tongue. "Ive contacted the school, and he hasn't been there, police say I can't file a missing persons yet because he's eighteen-" she rambled before stopping herself. "Come in, it's freezing," she adds but I shake my head.
"Oh, no that's okay thank you. Ive got to get home," I swallow hard, turning away from her, I hear her bidding me goodbye and I only wave in response, not turning back around.
-
Azriels brows furrow in confusion at the silver, new looking car in his drive way when he returns later that night to grab fresh clothes and take a good shower. He planned to stay home that night, needing a bed instead of a couch, his back was aching. Not that he had been sleeping much, he was doing too much molly, he hadn't gotten a good nights sleep since the last night he had slept with y/n which had been weeks ago now, since he stupidly hadnt taken his chance to sleep next to her one last time after she declared her love. He had been too afraid.
He was sure though, that she didn't really love him, she loved the way that he fucked her, the way he ate her pussy, maybe even the way he looked. But he wasn't lovable, someone like her couldn't just love someone like him.
He pushes the door to his house open and cautiously walks in, stopping in his tracks when he sees his mother sitting at the counter. He turns around, looks back again, rubs his eyes once. Surely this was a hallucination. She was quiet, surveying him, after eleven years he had changed a lot, he wasn't the little boy that she had left. He was tall now, built, covered in tattoos.
"What are you doing here? What do you want? Cuz' there's sure as fuck no inheritance or will if that's what you're after," he practically spits, coldly, as he surveyed her as well. This was real, it was very real. He noted the wedding bands on her finger, and nearly laughed out loud. She winces at his tone and aggression, rising to her feet as she continues to stare at her son that she hadn't seen in so long.
"Ive been waiting for you all day. I came to see if you needed any help with the funeral or if you wanted to come stay with me and your sisters-"
"Just stop there, because they are not my sisters. You are not my family. I don't want to see you, I don't want you here," eleven years of anger was coursing through him. How dare she come here. How dare she show her face here like everything was just normal. Guilt flashes across her face and her throat bobs as she clutches her bag in her hand.
"I am sorry Azriel. I was young... I made a mistake-"
"It's too late for any of that. Im grown now," he scoffs, watching as tears threaten to fall from her eyes. He didnt feel the least bit guilty, he hoped that she suffered from her choices. "You left me here to die, you only cared about yourself. You promised a seven year old boy that you would come back for him and you never did. Do you know how many times he almost killed me?" the words were flowing from him and he wasnt sure if it was the lack of serotonin from too much x or if it was simply all the pent up anger and aggression that he had. She just stood in stunned silence, silent tears running down her face. "You come back now? Like that makes anything better? Thinking what? That I would run into your arms and away into the sunset with you and your new family?" He walked to the door, opening it for her and jerking his head toward it. "I don't know why you would come here, you're sick for even thinking that it was a good idea. And Im sick looking at you, get the fuck out of my house," he growls quietly, and she stares back at him opening her mouth to say something else but realizes there was nothing she could say that would ever make him forgive her.
He slammed the door shut behind him, his lungs felt like they were caving, his chest physically ached from the emotional turmoil. Seeing his mother was far more painful than his dads dead body days ago. He noticed though, that with the pain, there was some sort of closure he felt from screaming all those things at her.
He knew that he should go back to Rhys and Cass' place, he knew he shouldn't stay here, especially after that. He shouldn't be alone right now, but being alone was what he did best. It was easier than anything else.
-
The next day after school, I had been much more hesitant when I walked toward Azriels door. I noted his car in front though, which made my heart leap, my stomach churned with nerves.
Something had unsettled me about Azriels mother being there. Something felt wrong about seeing her there yesterday. There wasnt exactly much I knew about Azriels childhood. I knew it was abusive, I knew she left, I knew that he didnt deserve any of what he went through. I knew it tortured him more deeply than he let on, no one in the world was that strong. I hoped she wasnt there again today. I needed to talk to him, I needed to get him to myself, there was so much I wanted to say to him, though, I didnt know if I would really have the courage once we were face to face.
I knocked three times, just like I had yesterday, I waited a few minutes, knocked two more times. "Im fuckin coming, damn," his voice sends my heart soaring and my gut reeling. He swings open the door, and my eyes instantly meet his, he's surprised, I can tell that much. But his eyes are distant, besides the slight surprise he's not wearing any emotion besides maybe exhaustion, his normally tan skin is slightly pale, dark circles ringing the bottom of his eyes. "Y/n, I didnt realize it was you. Im- Im sorry," I wonder if he's as much at a loss for words as I am.
Worry gnawed at me as I stared up at him. I couldn't see any light there, he didnt look okay. He clears his throat expectantly and I realize that I haven't said a single word. "Im sorry you found your dad," I blurt out before swallowing the lump that was growing in my throat. I didnt exactly think that Im sorry for your loss was the right thing to say in this scenario, I knew Azriel better than that. I had seen the hatred burn behind his eyes when talking about his father.
Azriel softens only the tiniest bit, he lets out a small sigh, "did you want to come in?" He asks, stepping aside so that I could walk in. I found myself wondering where Azriel had found him, less than a week ago someone died in here. I tried not to think about it too much. "Sorry about the mess," he mutters, shutting the door before nodding toward the stairs, I walk the familiar path toward his room and the sight of his room makes my stomach turn as I recalled how clean it had been the first time I saw it.
Definitely not okay. There were clothes everywhere, random pills on random surfaces, some crushed up and some still whole, if it hadn't of been for the few random pizza boxes I would have thought he wasnt eating at all, there were empty liquor bottles, some paperwork strewn about that probably had to do with the funeral... It was bad, I felt sick. I swallowed a lump in my throat and turned, he seemed so distant, so unfazed. Was he on something?
"Azriel..." I whispered, he stared back at me, reading my expression before shaking his head.
"Don't say anything butterfingers," I take a step toward him, he visibly tenses which makes me hesitate. I just wanted to run to him. I wanted to take all of his pain away, I almost didnt even recognize myself anymore... When had I even started caring about things other than school? Of course I was still at the very top of my class, but I was so damn distracted these days... His eyes drift to my lips and my cheeks flush slightly, I was so damn nervous, the last time I saw him he had ripped my heart out of my chest. "Come here," his voice is husky, almost a whisper, his eyes are still jaded and dark. It almost scares me, the way he's looking at me. I advance slowly toward him my fingers shaking, breaths ragged.
"You want me to fuck you don't you?" he turns his chin up, looking down his nose at me, his words are rough now, a little louder and more forceful as he looks me up and down, my lips part in surprise, at a loss for words. "You just can't stay away can you?" he chuckles softly, and he grabs my face roughly, forcing me to look up and fully meet his gaze, I gasp in surprise, making him huff out another amused breath. Adrenaline courses through me and I can't tell if Im more afraid or more turned on, my heart pounds wildly against my chest as I stare up at him. "You just want my cock, stuffing you all night making you scream," he moves his fingers down, gripping my throat now, his long fingers lightly squeezing. I moaned quietly, gasping for breath.
"They do say it's always the quiet ones, the shy ones," he snickered softly, I felt so small underneath him. He squeezed a little tighter, the way he was looking at me. He was so cold, angry even. Did he really believe that's all I wanted from him? Did he really think I didnt mean it when I told him I loved him? "You like the way I fuck you don't you? You like the way I eat your pussy while you cum over and over again? My greedy little slut," his voice rattled through me, I couldn't speak, I only whimpered in response as he pushed me down roughly onto the couch. My body buzzed, my pussy aching with need for him, I didnt care how he was treating me. I didnt care about anything except the fact that I could have him again.
"Is this what you want?" he asks, shoving my face into the arm of the couch, I moaned softly as he ripped my shirt down, my nipples rubbing against the rough fabric of the sofa. My pants are next, and he rips them down with such force I have to hang on tightly to the couch to brace myself. He grips my hips tightly, not even bothering to get me fully undressed. I cry out as he slams his cock into me, filling me all the way up without so much as a warning. Yes, this was exactly what I wanted... What I had been needing. Him. Filling me, close to me, panting over me. "I fucking missed you," he admits, his fingers digging into my hip bones as he fucks me harder than he ever had. I cried out in pleasure, the feelings of pain and pleasure mixing in the best of ways.
"Azriel," I moaned, feeling closer and closer as he pounded into me so deliciously deep. Hes rough, hands needy and gripping me hard, I knew I would be covered in bruises. It felt too damn good to worry about anything. "Oh yes," I moaned again, my body going limp as I came all over him. He lets out a long low groan, continuing to fuck me with everything he had before he collapses on top of me. We lay like that in silence for a few long minutes as we catch our breath, my heart is still racing, nerves churning as I didnt even know how to feel or what to say.
"Are you okay?" I finally break the silence, I instantly regret it as the second I do he's off of me, pulling his pants back up and tucking himself away.
"Im fine, I'll give you a ride," he says coolly and a lump rises in my throat as I scramble to get dressed. It felt like the room was spinning.
"I thought maybe we could hang out or-"
"I told you y/n I can't have a relationship with you, you want to have sex with me, I gave you what you wanted. Im sorting shit out right now. I can't give you anything else," he shrugs, looking down at me now, I could see his mask. I could see he was putting on a face, no matter how well he could fool everyone else.. I could see the cracks.
I didnt hold back when I screamed at him.
"You're fucking scared Azriel!" I wanted to throw something at him, I wanted to hurt him, embarrass him like he had just done to me. No matter how much I had enjoyed it he had just degraded me and fucked me and was now trying to kick me out. "You do this to yourself! You're so fucking afraid of feeling something besides hate or anger that you just push it all away and look at you now I mean what the fuck are you doing? You're doing all kinds of pills and shit every day now? Now you're acting like your father. You are your own worst fucking enemy Azriel," I cry out watching him wince at my words, visibly flinch like they had dealt him a blow.
I knew I was cruel, I knew the things I said were horrible and hateful but I hadn't been able to help myself. Not after he treated me like that.
-
a/n ooooops lol thoughts????
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hoetolegist · 2 years ago
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Let me have a taste
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Summary: Getting married is not something you want to do right now but sucking off the son of your mom's boss is
Warnings: sexual content, oral sex (m receiving), face-fucking, semi public, 2 seconds of jealous Stefan, oral sex (f receiving), protected sex, dirty talk, language (y'all know I like to curse), y/n is a riding pro, slight choking, explicit kinda
Authors note: this story was low-key an excuse for me to practice my blowjob writing skills lmao so the sex and the ending wasn't really thought out much nonetheless I hope you like it. p.s there's more plot than I thought oop-
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Every time you flew down to Mystic falls to visit your parents, your mom always ended up talking about how disappointed she was about you being 24 and single. This time was no different. You sat at the round glass table with your mom and your dad, eating a casserole that your mom made a few hours prior to your visit. It hasn't even been 10 seconds into eating before your mom cleared her throat to speak, you mentally prepared yourself for what was to come
"Y/n" she began "you're twenty four. You need to settle down and start a family"
You inwardly groaned and rolled your eyes. This is a conversation that you were never able to avoid, not when you were 21, not when you were 22, not when you were 23 and not now. What your parents don't understand is that you are a very busy woman. It's not that you don't want a boyfriend, you'd love to have someone to come home to and talk about your day with but you just don't have time for one right now. Not only were you a young and attractive woman who just wanted to have her fair share of fun before she couldn't anymore but you also had a serious job that requires a lot of your attention
Your mom got married to your dad when she was 22 and then went on to have you at 24. She wants you to follow in her footsteps and start a family early so by the time you're older you don't have to worry about raising children. The thing is though is that your grandparents were millionaires, they coddled and spoiled your mom endlessly, to the point where she didn't need a job or to do anything for that matter so she decided start a family. Although your mom inherited her parents riches when they passed away, you refused to be spoiled rotten. You wanted to work hard for what you have and you did. You love and respect your mother but you refuse to sit around all day in a house too big, being a stay at home mom who does nothing but cook and clean
"Please don't start. I came here to see you and dad, can we not focus on my love life today" you said as you pushed your food around the plate with a fork, avoiding eye contact
Your mom placed her fork on her plate and sighed. "Honey I just want the best for you. I want you to start a family like me. What about that adorable Matt" she replied
"Mom no" you scoffed "wh- why would you even suggest that?"
Matt was a childhood friend of yours from middle school. You still hang out with him probably once or twice a year but you guys drifted apart a long time ago, there were no hard feelings, it's natural. Your mom loves Matt though, every time you see her she says "you and that Matt kid would make a great couple" or "he'll be your husband one day I'm telling you" but she hasn't even seen him since you guys were 18
The sound of your chair scraping the floor filled the room as you pushed back in your seat to get up. "I haven't talked to Matt in a while" you sighed and grabbed the plates before walking through the door that connected the dining room to the kitchen so you could wash your dish "and please stop telling your friends that I'm looking for a husband. If Mrs. Lockwood calls me one more time, I'm pulling my hair out" you said loud enough for her to hear
You began scrubbing the dishes as your mom walked in and leaned on the counter next to you, her brown bangs fanning messily over her forehead. "Okay I'm sorry honey. I just want you to find a ni-"
"nice guy and settle down" you finished for her "I know and I will. Just not now. There's so much I want to do for myself before I have to share my life with anyone else" you turned the faucet off and shook your hands before drying them on the kitchen towel
She sighed but prodded no more, just tapping the counter "okay honey, we have guests later today" she said before heading to the living room. Your dad leaned against the door frame and you knew he was going to say something, having heard that whole conversation. He shook his head before walking over to you and placing his dish in the sink. "She's just looking out for you in the only way she knows how" he kissed the top of your head "I'll talk to her about it okay?"
You nodded as he turned around and walked out of the kitchen. You released a heavy sigh and grabbed your phone off of the counter before leaving through the backdoor to get some fresh air. You had many messages from your friends, they must be worried since you haven't talked to them since you landed which means it has been two days now
[Caroline]
Y/n, are you okay?
I said text me when you get there remember??
Bonnie is gonna spam call the group chat if you don't answer
[Bonnie]
Hey! Just checking in
I stg you better not be dead
I'm calling
[2 missed calls from Bonnie]
[4 missed calls from 'the girls who care']
You chuckled to yourself upon seeing those messages. You decided to three-way call the group chat so you didn't have to go back and forth texting both of your friends. You sat down on the rocking chair as your phone rang
"You bitch" was the first thing you heard once the ringing stopped. Caroline picked up first then Bonnie, they were both scolding you at the same time and you just sat back on the chair and sighed since you couldn't get a word in yet
"Do you understand how worried we were?!" Caroline shouted into her mic
"Seriously, we were about to pack and fly down there" Bonnie added on a bit calmer but you could tell she was just as upset
You waited for them to get silent before you responded "I'm sorry guys. I didn't think things were going to be hectic as soon as I arrived"
They sighed because they knew exactly what you were talking about. The first and last time you ever invited your friends down to visit, your mom embarrassed you endlessly. Not the cute embarrassment when she talks about your baby pictures and coo over your squishy cheeks. No, the embarrassment that comes with getting yelled at in front of your friends for not wanting to get married at 22, the embarrassment of your mom practically telling your friends that they might as well kill themselves if they don't start a family early
"You need to put your foot down y/n" Caroline said with a huff "just cuss her out or something"
"She's my mother Care, I can't cuss my mother out"
"Sure you can" you could picture her rolling her eyes at you "all because she's your mom doesn't mean you have to take the constant disrespect"
Caroline was the one you don't go to for advice and the times you do, you don't really listen to her much. This time, maybe she was right, maybe you do need to put your foot down but if you were going to do it, it wouldn't be today. You waited for Bonnie to say something, anything. She's the calm one, the one that talks some sense into them when things were going wrong and you needed some sense right now
Bonnie sighed exasperated "Y/n, don't cuss your mom out. Caroline, stop suggesting stupid shit like that" you nodded as if she could see you "just sit her down and talk to her about it, your dad is on your side so both of you could team up and make her see that you can make your own decisions about your life and you don't need to be hassled for it"
You face palmed yourself "I've done that already Bonnie. I can't- I can't talk anymore, I've done enough talking with her"
That's when Caroline decided to speak again "well..." she started. You and Bonnie were prepared for her to say something absolutely useless but she said something that actually kind of peaked your interest. "Why don't you just tell her you already have a boyfriend? To get her off of your back at least for the rest of your visit" she said nonchalantly
"Wait- say that again" you demanded, getting up from the swing and pacing the back porch
"Uh, just tell her you have a boyfriend already?" She said it like it was a question "I mean it might be stupid but it could work. Your mom just wants you to settle down, tell her that you will and she'll be excited enough to leave you alone"
"Care you're a fucking genius!" you shouted, you kept your phone stable by using your shoulder as you pumped your fists in victory as if you had the idea yourself. "Gosh I love you guys so much. I'll have to talk to you later okay?"
This plan was absolutely fucking genius. Caroline can be on the dumber side sometimes and her ideas were over the top but there are times where she has those moments that made you want to grab her face and kiss her silly and now was one of those amazing moments.
"Wait" Bonnie tried "Y/n think it through first you can't just-"
You hung up. Of course Bonnie was going to have protests and you'll call her to talk about her opinions later but for now you have a plan and you want to get everything in your head situated first. You texted the chat saying sorry for hanging up so abruptly then you put your phone in the back pocket of your jeans before flinging the back door open
Nobody was in the living room so you threw yourself on the couch and turned on the TV just for some background noise while you sat deep in thought. Deep in the back of your mind you knew this plan would never work but if it did end up working out the way you hoped, you'd have a relaxing rest of your visit. Now you're certain that she'll ask a shit ton of questions, things like "what's his name?" And "when did you meet?" Or "why didn't you tell me this sooner?" So you came up with an answer for all of those questions. Once you came up with your fake backstory and a name to go with it, you decided to go up to your room and take a nap
You knew that you should probably get started on dinner but you were burnt out from the day and the constant nagging you had to put up with. The stairs creaked as you walked up two steps at a time. Your bedroom was still decorated the same from when you were 17 years old. Tacked onto the pale blue walls were multiple BTS posters, a light brown, wooden desk was pushed into the corner closest to the window and right in the middle of the spacey room sat a queen sized bed with pale blue sheets to match the walls and a heavy black comforter because your parents loved to keep the house cold
With a heavy sigh, you closed the door and went to the bathroom that was connected to your room. After washing up and cleaning your face you threw yourself onto the soft bed and curled under the comforter. Later you'll think things through more but right now you need to get some serious shut eye
"Y/n!" You heard a muffled voice shout out. It was your mom standing at the bottom of the stairs calling for dinner. She had a phrase for waking you up when you were a kid "two shouts before I come in and throw ice water on you". You realized that was her second shout once you heard the stairs creak with every step she took to come up
You rolled out of bed, your butt thumping the ground pretty hard. "Shit" you grimaced and lifted yourself to rub your right ass cheek before you heard your doorknob turn. Your mom flung the door open and stood in the doorway with a big blue cup in her hand, no doubt full of the coldest water she could find. "Hi mom, I'm up" you said groggily as she eyed you like you were crazy. You were sitting on the floor half asleep with one eye open, just your bra and panties on, rubbing your bruising ass cheek while your blanket was tangled around your legs, you could be seen as crazy. She opened her mouth to speak but shut it right away, just nodding and shutting the door quickly with a thud
Okay, so not the best way to say hello to your mother but if she knew how to knock she wouldn't have caught you in such a compromising position. You placed one elbow on your bed and another on your bedside table to hoist yourself up with a grunt. "Jesus fucking Christ" you mumbled as you dragged yourself to the bathroom to make yourself presentable. Your mom was inviting one of her co-workers over for dinner and she briefly woke up earlier to tell you to dress your best because there was someone she wanted you to meet
You thought that maybe she was trying to get you to talk to one of her friends so you could get a job in town, you knew how badly she wanted you to move back in with her and your dad. So when you walk down stairs in your black, tight fitted long sleeved shirt, camaflouge print cargo pants - cinched at the ankles, and black, leather converse high tops, you weren't expecting to see one of the most gorgeous men you have ever seen before in your 24 years of living. Your mom was talking to a lady who you assumed was her co-worker while the man looked around the living room, smiling at family pictures and touching the plants
"Oh Y/n you're here!!" Everyone looked at you at the announcement of your arrival. You waved shyly then walked over to your mom with your arms stiffly at your sides. She introduced the woman as Vanessa Salvatore, the CEO of Salvatore inc, the largest car company in all of North America. Your jaw damn near touched your toes, when your mom had said co-worker you wouldn't have thought that she meant the CEO of the goddamn company she worked at
The woman shook your hand firmly and called over the man who was walking around the living room. "This is my son" she said as he walked over. He was dressed in a white button-up shirt, paired with a grey suit and brown shoes, his dirty blonde hair was gelled back, a missed curl falling prettily in front of his eye. As he planted himself next to his mother you noticed that his eyes were a beautiful emerald green and his jaw was chiseled to perfection, it could cut through diamonds if he tried. He was devastatingly gorgeous, taking your eyes off of him would not be easy
"Hello, I'm Stefan Salvatore" he held his hand out and flashed a beautiful, toothy smile. You smiled right back at him and took his hand, shaking firmly like your mom taught you. "Y/n Smith, nice to meet you" you replied, trying to sound professional, this must be something important, pertaining to your mothers job. You pulled your hand back while he stared at you, intensely like he was trying to read you through your eyes. You were starting to feel kind of hot under his gaze so you turned around to go help your father set the table
Your father greeted you with a smile when you walked through the doors "hey honey" he said as he grabbed a stack of napkins "help set these plates, will you?" He kissed your cheek then walked past you to set down the napkins. While you grabbed the plates you heard the kitchen door swing open, you turned around to see who it was and there was Stefan, waving hello to your father as he walked toward you
"Y/n right?" Stefan grabbed the glass cups that were stacked on the counter next to you "sorry if I stared a little back there, you are a gorgeous woman" he said, you could see a slight smirk on his face, he's confident, that's either a good thing or a bad thing. "Thanks, you're a very handsome man" you returned the compliment before going to set the plates down. He followed you to the connected dining room and set a cup down beside every plate you placed on the table. A comfortable silence wrapped around the two of you as you both worked to set the table
After the table was done being set up you called everyone into the dining room to eat. Your mom cooked since you had taken a nap (you reminded yourself to apologize for that later). She made baked macaroni, sliced ham, sliced turkey, yellow rice with gravy and baked chicken. You were ready to dig in but guests first was the biggest rule whenever you had company over. You waited until their plates were fixed then you eagerly stood up and placed some of everything on yours
"So Michelle, I heard that the idea of two engines was your idea" Ms. Salvatore held a hand to her mouth as she talked. Your mom nodded her head "I was quite shocked at hearing that but after learning so much about you I could see that you are a smart woman". You smiled proudly upon hearing this, your mom had been working on that two engine idea for the better part of a year, when she finally got the chance to pitch it to her higher ups she was a big ball of nerves, calling you every two seconds before she had to be in the boardroom
Your mom bowed her head shyly "thank you so much Vanessa" she said gratefully, a hue of pink faint on her cheeks
Conversations flowed perfectly after that. Ms. Salvatore asked you questions like where you worked and where you lived now and you had answered truthfully. You were the head photographer at the modeling agency you worked at in New York, Lights up studios
Mrs. Salvatore's eyes lit up "Oh! A photographer? My Stefan is a model and he lives in New York too" she pat his shoulder "It's hard to get him to come visit since his schedule is very tight but he manages"
"Me too, I visit whenever my schedule dies down a bit" you cleared your throat and looked at Stefan "a model? You are very handsome" you noticed the way your mom looked between you two with a big smile on her face. "Which companies have you worked with?". You wanted to know if he ever worked with your company before, maybe before you began working there he had done some shoots
Stefan shrugged "uh, nothing big just-" he looked at his mom and sighed, she was obviously very proud of his profession "Gucci and Louis Vuitton, places like that" he scratched the back of his head, for some reason embarrassed
Your eyes widened and you put your fork down "Oh wow that's totally big. I would love to see your pictures one day". You could tell he was about to decline but his mom already had her phone in hand and pictures pulled up. Stefan's photos were amazing, he was a natural and whoever his photographer was, they were so very talented. Your breath caught in your throat at one specific photo from an underwear photoshoot, it was hot but it weirded you out that you were looking at it from his moms phone. You sat back up and started chewing on a piece of ham while his mom showed more pictures to your parents
Dinner was great. After you and your mom had finished clearing the table, everyone gathered in the living room. After thanking Mrs. Salvatore for coming over, your dad went upstairs to his room because he had to get to work early tomorrow. Your mom sat next to Mrs. Salvatore on the couch and they seemed to be talking about something important. Stefan was sitting on a recliner, looking a little lost so you decided to sit on the one next to him
"Hey" you said as you sat down "I apologize, I wouldn't have asked if I knew you were going to be a bit uncomfortable". You were feeling bad about his obvious discomfort when you asked to see his pictures. He obviously didn't like talking about his profession much and you didn't mean to pry
He flicked his wrist dismissively "It's fine. I wanted to show them, I just uh, get a little embarrassed when my mom starts to talk about it" he lowered his head "it's stupid"
You shook your head "it's not stupid, I know how you feel". Hearing your parents brag about you is the worst, especially when it's about something as big as what Stefan does. You couldn't even imagine your mom pulling out pictures of you to brag to anyone she has a chance to brag to
"I'm surprised I've never bumped into someone as sexy as you up in New York" Stefan suddenly leaned over and whispered into your ear, deep and raspy. Heat immediately pooled in your stomach at the sinful sound. He's obviously not shy when it comes to flirting, is what you thought to yourself
You chuckled "is that so?". What you did next was bold but you didn't care. You turned your head his way, he was still leaning close to you so now your faces were only inches apart, you could see the shards of gray in his eyes and the way his lips formed a lopsided heart. "Well Mr. Salvatore, now you know where to bump into me" you whispered against his lips. His eyes flickered to your lips then back to your eyes
Just as he was about to reply, Mrs. Salvatore called you both over. You got up at the same time and walked over to the couch. Your mom was looking around nervously and that made you nervous but you didn't say anything, you waited for whatever was about to be said. "Uh, we think you two should go out and get drinks. Let the adults talk some more"
You looked at your mother and just like you thought, she wasn't making eye contact with you. No way was she trying to set you up with her boss's son. "Mom, can I talk to you in the kitchen" you said with a fake smile on your face
"Honey" she laughed awkwardly "we have guests"
"Just for a minute"
You turned around and walked to the kitchen, knowing your mom would be right behind you. "Mom what the fuck?" You whisper shouted once she walked in and the door was closed "your boss's son? Are you serious right now?"
She raised a brow "excuse me young lady? Watch your mouth" she sighed "now it's just to see how compatible you two are. He's a sweet young man and if you're going to get married soon then-"
You threw your hands in the air and interrupted her with a groan "I don't want to get married mom, what don't you understand!"
She was pleading with her eyes now "Y/n just try, you might like Stefan, he's a sweet boy. And he has seemed to take a liking to you already"
"Mom I don't-" You sighed tiredly, you have no more fight left in you and no more strength left to even finish that sentence. Everything you tell her goes in one ear and out the other, you can't do it anymore so you just agreed. You glared at your mom one more time before leaving the kitchen, mumbling a quiet "nice to meet you" to Ms. Salvatore before snatching your car keys from the hook by the front door
"Let's go Stefan" you said with a little sass as you threw the front door open and walked out into the night. Stefan was right behind you, closing the house door and scrambling to sit in the passenger side of your black Mercedes E Class. Once in the car, you started it and exhaled heavily "do you mind if I bluetooth this?" You asked Stefan as you held up your phone, indicating you needed to make a call. He shrugged and sat back, buckling his seat belt
As you pulled out of the driveway the sounds of your phone ringing filled the car. You needed some sense right now before you angrily killed you and Stefan by driving off of the next bridge you cross so you called the only person who could give you some sense. "Hello?" A voice whispered, she was obviously sleeping and you would feel bad if you weren't completely pissed
"Bonnie, why the fuck do I put up with this shit? I can't talk to her and to hell with the fake boyfriend plan, that wasn't going to work anyway and I knew it wasn't the minute I put my head down to nap" you were going on and on, to anybody else the silence would mean Bonnie doesn't really care but you know she's just listening intently "I can't do this shit anymore. I can't keep coming down here and hearing the same shit and worrying about the next man my mom is trying to marry me off to in Mystic Falls. It's exhausting Bonnie"
You weren't even angry anymore just exhausted. You tried to understand your mom, you tried to sympathize with her, you tried to be angry with her but none of it is working. Nothing you do is going to stop the constant nagging and the constant questions about your love life and the silent judgement you get from her friends whose kids are already married
Bonnie hummed "what happened y/n? Did she tell another one of her friends that you want a husband"
"Basically. She invited her boss and the lady's goddamn son to the house for dinner then sent me out to get drinks with the fucking son" you chuckled dryly "she thinks I didn't notice her smiling at us like we were going to get married right there in the fucking living room"
Stefan was looking at you like you were crazy but you paid him no mind. He knew exactly what you were talking about because judging by the way his mom was smiling from ear to ear upon introducing him, she definitely told him he needed to start looking for a wife too
"Is he ugly?" Is what Bonnie asked, you saw Stefan smirk out the corner of your eye and this time it pissed you off so you said the logical answer
"Yes" you bit back a snicker when you saw his eyes widen "and he's shorter than a troll"
"Hey! You're a liar" Stefan said, pointing an accusatory finger at you
"IS HE IN THE CAR?" Bonnie shouted, you winced at how loud it was, leaning over to turn the car volume down a little
You released a laugh, high pitched and squeaky "yeah he is" you laughed harder "you should see the way he's glaring at me"
Before you knew it, all three of you started laughing. It felt nice to laugh like that and you felt less pissed. Bonnie then stopped laughing and called your name, you hummed in acknowledgment. "Just make the most of it okay? Don't think of it as your mom sending you off on a date, think of it as you meeting a new friend" she said
You nodded your head, she's right you need to think more positively. Stefan is funny and handsome, you won't marry him but you sure would fuck him if you had the chance. So why not make the most of it? "You're right Bon, thank you" you sighed "I don't know what I'd do without you". You said your goodbyes and apologized for waking her up then you hung up
"Great friend. Mine would've told me to push you out of the car and take the next flight back to New York" Stefan said once the call ended
You laughed and glanced at him "if I had called my other friend, she would've said the same thing" you stopped at a red light then leaned back in your seat "you're not ugly by the way or short" you said quietly, your joking demeanor long gone
"I know" he replied smugly. You scoffed in disbelief and amusement, so he's definitely not one to turn down a compliment
You shook your head as you started driving again "Salvatore you're something else" you replied, hearing him release a breathy laugh in response
It's a sound you've come to like, maybe a little too much
The music was blaring and you could barely hear the story Stefan was trying to tell you. You both agreed to go to a local night club called "Mindy's", great bar service and great bathrooms to suck someone off. Stefan was leaning back in the booth across from you, his legs were spread out and he had both arms propped up behind him, he threw his head back in a deep laugh at one of his own jokes and you swear it was one of the sexiest things you ever heard
You were still kind of upset about your mother trying to set you up to get married but you tried not to think about it here. You were with Stefan and more than likely going to get fucked tonight, why ruin that with complaints? You tapped on the table "do you want another drink?" You asked Stefan as you slid out of the booth to go get yourself your fourth one of the night. He nodded and allowed his eyes to roam your body as he handed you his empty glass. Your fingers grazed his as you grabbed the cup and you felt tingles from the warmth
You walked away confidently, certain that he was staring at your ass. "Two gin and tonics please" you said with a smile once you reached the bar. The male bartender smirked at you before fixing the drinks
"Here alone?" The bartender asked, his shiny black hair was messy like he had been running his hands through it and his eyes were a striking blue "I'm Landon by the way"
You hummed and replied "with a friend" then you let yourself stare at his plump, red lips as he ran his tongue across the bottom one. "I'm Y/n", the bartender looked at you with some type of intensity in his eyes, you knew he wanted you but you just wanted to flirt. Flirting always calls for a good time
He slid you your drinks then leaned forward "I'd love to take you out sometime" he whispered "I don't see many beautiful women like you in the falls". You almost rolled your eyes, these men don't seem to see beautiful women anywhere. You grabbed the drinks, lifting your brow at an extra he slid over, saying it was "on the house"
You smiled at him and thanked him for the drinks and compliment. "Maybe you'll see me around more" you said, knowing that you'll be leaving soon and not coming back for a couple more months. After telling him that you should get going, you turned around and headed back to your booth
When you got back to the table, Stefan was looking at you with his eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched. You decided to sit next to him instead of across from him. "Got an extra!" you shouted into his ear. He smiled, tight lipped and his eyes were sharper like he was angry. You asked him what was wrong but he just shrugged and said nothing so you hummed and started swaying in your seat to the music
"I want to dance"
Stefan just looked at you and raised a brow as if questioning why but you just grabbed his hand and drug him out of the booth. "Humor me" you said, placing a hand on his chest "just one dance"
He stared into your eyes for a few minutes then he took your hand and walked onto the dance floor. He spun you around, pressing your back to his chest "hm, I think someone else was expecting a dance too" he whispered, his warm breath fanning across your neck. Your breath hitched as he pulled you closer, sliding his left hand down your left arm to intertwine your fingers
He was jealous. You realized it in the way he held you possessively and the way he chose a spot right where the bartender could see you guys. It's not everyday you find a man as sexy as Stefan that wants you so badly so you caught yourself from smiling and decided not to comment on his jealousy
Instead you pushed your hips back as he placed his other hand on your waist to guide your movements. You could feel his heart beating rapidly on your back and you reveled in the feeling, you were making him feel like this. Eventually you were grinding up against him faster and harder and you could feel his breath picking up from the constant friction. You put your head back on his shoulder and closed your eyes, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth when he started to leave feather light kisses down your neck. "Mm" you hummed as arousal swirled in the pits of your stomach, you needed to fuck him now
"I want you” Stefan confessed, low and deep in your ear, his lips grazing your earlobe. “I would fuck you so well” he added, nipping the lobe of your ear afterward
You let out a little gasp when Stefan released your entwined fingers then spun you to face him. You were drunk off both pleasure and alcohol, a dangerous combination. Stefan then kissed you, so deeply and passionately that your knees almost buckled from the feeling. His lips were softer and warmer then you could have ever imagined, not that you had much time to imagine since you just met him not too long ago
You panted as he pulled back just a little "show me then please" you begged. You weren't even going to resort to begging at first but every time he touched you a fire ignited throughout your whole body and the only way to put it out is to feel him inside of you
“Begging already?” Stefan said, his lips still against yours
You whimpered and closed your eyes as he kissed you again. You needed Stefan and it's now or never but before you could tell him to take you to the bathrooms, he was already letting go
“Come on then” he teased in a low voice, sending a shiver down your spine. His hands trailed lightly down your back, just a teasing touch, before he gripped your ass. Then the touch was gone and his warmth was gone. You opened your eyes to see Stefan walking toward the bathrooms, he walked with his head held high and the crowd parted for him like the red sea
Before you knew it you were booking it to the bathrooms. As soon as you opened the door, you were pulled in and pushed against it. Stefan locked it then connected his lips with yours hungrily. You melted into his touch, enjoying the softness of his lips and the taste of alcohol on his tongue as he licked into your mouth. Stefan slid his hands under your shirt to squeeze your waist and the touch sent a lick of heat through your stomach. You pulled back and scanned his body
"Let me suck your dick" it was a demand but a question at the same time
He nodded with a groan "yeah okay". Stefan switched spots so his back was against the door and you were in front of him then he unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants down enough to get his dick out. Your eyes widened, you almost wanted to slap him for having such a perfect dick – it was long, thick and his pretty red tip was already dripping with pre-cum
You quickly sunk down to your knees and stuck your tongue out, licking a broad stripe along the vein on his cock. Stefan released a drawn out moan, letting the back of his head hit the door with a thud. "Fuck" he cursed under his breath as you started to suck on the tip. He put a hand in your hair, not pushing your head but just keeping it there
This turned you on though, you wanted him to grip your hair and fuck his cock down your throat. And you let him know that by sinking down as far as you can, then looking up at him with tears pricking your eyes. His grip in your hair tightened and his breathing picked up. "Okay shit, I get it" he said, smiling down at you and boy was his smile beautiful. "Tap my thigh whenever you want me to stop" he added before pulling his cock out to rub his tip on your lips
When you opened your mouth he took that opportunity to slide in, slowly, just until he hit the back of your throat then he pulled back again and slammed in harder. Your eyes watered but you just breathed through your nose, you wanted this. "So good baby" he breathed as he looked down at you with half lidded eyes. The praise make your pussy clench around nothing, wanting him to fill you up
Stefan gently fisted your hair with both hands as he began to thrust, moving your head along with him. "Those pretty lips were meant to be stretched around my cock" he said as he started thrusting faster, moans getting louder. You're sure anybody who was waiting for the restroom could hear him but that made it even hotter
Drool and tears ran down your face as Stefan brutally hit the back of your throat with each thrust, you closed your eyes and thanked the universe for not giving you a gag reflex. You moaned around his length, hearing him let out a curse from the vibrations just like you thought he would. You continued to look up at him as he stared down at you, he was breathtaking. His forehead glistened with sweat and his tongue swiped across his bottom lip every few seconds. He smiled at you in between a moan and it was the sexiest thing you had ever seen
Soon his thrusts were faltering and his cock was twitching against your tongue with the need to release. "Fuck- I'm gonna cum" he moaned as he put his head back and squeezed his eyes shut. His grip in your hair tightened as he thrusted one more time, stilling with a loud groan as he came hot and salty down your throat. You swallowed it all quickly then sucked on his tip a little more until he was pulling you off from over stimulation
"You're a fucking dream" he breathed out, his eyes following you as you stood back up and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand
"So I've been told" you replied with a laugh as you turned around to walk to the sink to wash your face and fix your hair
After Stefan tucked himself back in and buckled his belt back up he walked up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. "I don't have condoms on me" he mumbled as he kissed your ear. You tried not to pout in disappointment. You were really hoping to get fucked tonight but you were fine with it, you didn't care much
"It's fine I don't need anything in re-"
"But I have my own place a few blocks away" he interrupted with a face as if he was trying not to laugh and coo at you. That was all he had to say before you were grabbing his arm and unlocking the bathroom door. Of course you cared, you wanted Stefan and he didn't seem like the blowjob and go type of guy anyway. You didn't care about the people staring at the both of you as you flung the door open and walked out
You and Stefan walked to the car in silence because if either of you spoke you'd probably just say fuck it and have the nastiest sex on your backseat. Electricity was buzzing through your veins and you were already wet from earlier, you know he could fuck you good and you're ready to be pinned down and fucked rough
Stefan had already typed his address into your phone's GPS so in just a few minutes you were pulling up a huge driveway. Your eyes widened as something akin to a mansion came into view. His house was fucking huge, there is no way he lives here alone and of course you talked first and asked that very question. "You live here? Alone?" You asked your car came to a halt by the entrance
He shook his head and replied "not alone". You raised a brow and asked with who and he told you that he has a three year old puppy named Rose that he keeps with him every time he visits Mystic Falls, giving the puppy to his parents whenever he isn't here. For some reason you felt a sense of relief at the confirmation of nobody else living there but you ignored it because what would you be relieved for?
When you walked in the house you didn't even have time to process how big and beautiful it was inside before Stefan was grabbing your waist and smashing ypur lips together. You yelped as he picked you up and you quickly wrapped your legs around his waist. "You're so fucking sexy" he said in between nips on your bottom lip. He carried you up a flight of stairs with his lips still connected to yours, not pulling away until he threw you on a big bed in a bedroom way too big for one person. You sat still and looked around as Stefan went to go grab condoms out of his dresser
The room was huge but very bland like something you'd imagine a guest room to look like but you knew it was his room because of the single picture of him accompanied by a tall man with black hair that sat on his dresser. You wanted to ask questions but you didn't want to pry too much
Soon Stefan came back with three condoms, you lifted a brow and giggled. "Three? Are you trying to kill me?" You asked in faux disbelief. You can handle three rounds but you aren't sure if he can, not with you
He laughed lowly while moving to hover over you. "Just hoping you can keep up" he said before pressing his lips against yours, you wrapped your arms around his neck and wrapped your legs around his waist as you pulled him closer and kissed him back harder. You could kiss Stefan forever, it was like your lips were made to be on his
You both grinded against each other before Stefan pulled back to start kissing down your neck. "Tell me what you like" he said as he nipped a sensitive part on your neck "I'm open to anything" he continued, detaching his lips from your neck so he could pull your shirt off, you complied by lifting your arms
"Mm" you moaned as he kissed around your breasts, you indeed wore no bra. Your breasts are big but not too big so you were able to pass without a bra sometimes. "I like rough but not too rough, I don't want to bleed. I like to be choked and please don't hesitate to leave marks, it turns me on". You placed a hand on the back of his head as he started sucking on one of your hard nipples. "If you're too silent I might get up and leave in the middle of it" you laughed when Stefan softly bit your nipple trying to hold back a laugh. "I'm serious, be vocal, I like to hear how good you feel" you said, looking down in time to see Stefan wink at you
"Of course I'll be vocal baby" he mumbled against your skin as he was switching to the other nipple. You shuddered at the pet name again and closed your eyes thinking of more things to tell him
"If I say pineapple that means stop"
Stefan released your nipple with a pop "you better pineapple the shit out of me if you feel any bit of discomfort, got it?" He said with a small smile. You replied with a simple yes before helping him pull his shirt off
This man was carved by angels then double checked by the Greek Gods, you've never seen abs so chiseled and defined. Your mouth hung open as you shamelessly swept his torso with your eyes. Is it weird to say someone has pretty nipples? It probably is but that didn't stop you. "You're nipples are so pretty" you blurted, mentally face palming yourself once you said it
"Thanks" Stefan smiled then pinched one of your nipples "so are yours"
"Just fuck me already" you huffed with a playful roll of your eyes
Stefan kissed you again as he pulled your pants and panties off, quickly pulling his pants and boxers off as well. He stared open mouthed at your pussy and you were about two seconds away from covering up before he began to run his fingers along your glistening folds. He spread you open with two fingers "fuck you're so wet" he removed his fingers and brought them to your lips, you willingly opened your mouth to taste yourself like he wanted you to
He watched you with a hungry look in his eyes which spurred you on more. As much as you wanted to get fucked, you loved the foreplay, you know your orgasm is going to be so much more intense when he does get around to fucking you. You dragged your tongue in between his two fingers and you sucked hard, reminding him of the blowjob you gave him back at the club. "Shit" he whispered, voice heavy with arousal. You released his fingers then watched him move down so his head could be between your thighs
"Gonna taste you first" he said then he stuffed his face into your pussy
You arched up and released a sigh when he licked a stripe up your core and to your clit. He wrapped his lips around it, sucking hard as you grabbed the sheets on either side of your head and squeezed your eyes shut. It felt so good and you wanted so badly to hump his face. "So good Stefan" you whined when he swirled his tongue around your clit then moved to push his tongue through your pulsating hole, using his thumb to rub your clit
It was messy, you were so wet for him and you could hear the way he slurps on your pussy, it pushed you closer and closer to the edge. He pushed two fingers into your hole at once and it felt so good with just a small sting. He hooked his fingers, hitting your g-spot right away. "Right there" you whined breathily, pushing back on his fingers
He was so good at this, knew exactly what to do with his fingers and mouth. But you needed more, you wanted to cum on his cock. You tapped his head "fuck me" you looked at him through half lidded eyes and squeezed your own nipples "I want you so bad" you said, moaning softly when his pressed a kiss to your core
Stefan nodded and quickly sat up on his knees and opened one of the condoms. You watched as he rolled it on then pumped himself a few times. It was hot, he was hot. "Relax for me, okay?" Stefan whispered, rubbing circles into your thighs as he lined himself up with your hole. A quiet moan left you as he pushed in excruciatingly slow, his eyes stuck on where you two are now connected. He rests his hand down on your mound, thumb rubbing small circles into your clit as he rocked his hips into yours
"Shit" Stefan muttered softly to himself. He hadn't really set a pace yet, just lazily rolling his hips and enjoying the feel of your warm, wet pussy squeezing him so tightly. "Fuck you feel so good" he grunted out as he began to speed up his thrusts, fucking into you so hard that his neighbors could probably hear the slap of skin against skin
Stefan slid his hand up your torso to squeeze one of your breasts, rolling your nipple between his thumb and pointer finger. "Oh my God" your eyes rolled into the back of your head, his cock hit your g-spot with each thrust inside of you. You gripped his sheets to keep yourself from sinking your nails into his biceps. "Deeper please Stefan" you whined, not knowing how he could get any deeper but you need him to try
"Ride me" is what he replied "if you want it, then ride me" he challengingly quirked a brow and smirked. He was obviously teasing you but with no hesitation you put your hands on his shoulders and pushed him back, allowing his cock to slide out of you so you can hover above him
"You're so fucking sexy" He whispered as you positioned yourself above his cock and sunk down, he was just in you but the stretch was still there, it was a dull pain. His fingers dug into your sides harshly, hard enough to leave bruises and you'd smile about it if you weren't trying to fit his cock in you
You circled your hips a few times before lifting yourself up and slamming back down. You set the pace and made the movements quick and harsh. Stefan slid his hands down to your ass, helping you bounce up and down on him. "You ride me so well" Stefan groaned, eyebrows furrowing out of pleasure
You couldn’t help but clench around him from the endless praise, the action causing him to buck his hips as he moaned “yeah, just like that”. One particular swivel of your hips had you both groan in unison as you worked his cock to find your sweet spot. You locked into the feeling desperate to find it by grinding his cock deeper because it was right there, making your eyes roll backwards into your head. "Oh F-" you shuddered as you found the spot you were looking for
Stefan looked at you with eyes fogged with pure lust. There was no way he could close his eyes when you moved like that above him. He lifted his hips up to meet yours and although you weren't planning on cumming so quickly, that pushed so far over the edge, you couldn't even see straight as your orgasm knocked the breath out of you. Your vision was blurred, the dull ringing in your ears made your head pound and your body convulsed embarrassingly on top of Stefan
Your pussy fluttered violently around his cock, gripping onto it in a way that made Stefan's body shiver from pure pleasure. He’s moaning loudly, no longer being able to hold back. He brought a hand up to wrap around your throat as he planted his feet on the bed, sat up slightly and started fucking up so hard into you that you damn near saw stars
Both of you were sweating heavily and your skin was burning hot by now but you didn't want to stop, no matter how far you were pushed into oversensitivity
You could tell he was close when you felt him twitch inside of you so you used all of your energy to circle your hips to meet his thrust. "Fuck y/n" was the last thing you heard being whispered near your ear as he spilled inside of you, collapsing on top of you but not entirely as to not crush you
You both layed there for a few minutes breathing heavily. You tapped Stefan's shoulder to tell him to get off of you. With a sigh he pulled out of you and flopped onto your side, pulling off the condom and tying it up. "You're really a dream" he chuckled softly as he threw the condom into a small garbage bin by his bed
"So you've said" you looked at him and smiled. The silence was comfortable, just both of you basking in your post orgasm glow and waiting for your breathing to calm down. Suddenly your phone rang loudly, you sat up quick and felt around for it, picking your pants up off the floor and pulling it out of the back pocket
It was your mom calling, you looked at Stefan with wide eyes and put a finger over your lips. "Hello?" You stood up and paced the room, not bothering to even put your undergarments back on
"Y/n, where are you? It's almost one in the morning"
You bit back the scoff you so badly wanted to release "I'm with Stefan mom. Did you forget that you sent me off to get married to your boss's son?"
She sighed heavily, you could picture her leaning against the counter, rubbing her temples. "But that doesn't mean stay out all night doing God knows what! You still stay under my roof while you're here"
This time you did scoff, rolling your eyes as well "mom excuse my language but what the fuck?" You shook your head as Stefan looked over at you in concern "you begged me to leave the house with a random guy in hopes of me getting married so you can relive that through me, you don't get to lecture me when I don't come home for a couple of hours"
"Now Y/n watch-"
She tried to speak but you just needed to let this out so you interrupted her. "He could've been a serial killer or a kidnapper and if anything had gone left you wouldn't even be hearing my voice right now" you felt your eyes sting with tears, trying as best as you could to blink them back before they could fall "you're lucky that I'm with someone who actually makes me feel a bit safe. I'm not coming home tonight and I'll be packing tomorrow and going back to New York. I love you but I don't love the constant nagging about my love life, you don't respect me or my wishes mom. I'm sick of it" you tried to catch a tear before it slipped but it was too late "get some sleep okay? Goodnight, I love you" you hung up the phone and just stood there, butt naked and facing the wall with tears silently rolling down your face
You wiped your face and took breaths before turning around "uh, I'm gonna go" you walked to the bed and started putting your clothes back on and Stefan just watched. You didn't know if he wanted to say something or if he just didn't care but either way you just wanted to go. As you were putting your shirt on that's when Stefan got up, quickly going to his closet to rummage through a whole bunch of clothes. He pulled out a pair of black gym shorts and a white sleeveless t-shirt
"It's not much but if you uh, want you can take a shower here and stay here for tonight" he scratched the back of his head with one hand while he held out the clothes with the other, it even looked like he was blushing a little, you couldn't help but crack a small smile
You bit your lip to try to hold the smile back "are you sure? I don't want to impose or anything" you said while grabbing the clothes from him
"You're not imposing" he walked up to you and lifted your chin up with his fingers "don't let your mom force you to do anything you don't want to do" the look in his eye made you want to obey every word he said so you nodded your head. He searched your face "I'm serious y/n. I love my mom but if I had allowed her to force me into marriage I wouldn't be who I am today, doing what I love. You're a beautiful woman with a lot going for you, if marriage isn't what you want then don't do it"
Without really thinking about it you pulled him in for a kiss. Both of you were still naked but it wasn't a sex hungry, heat filled kiss, it was passionate and slow and it made butterflies flutter in your belly, you've never felt that before. You pulled away with a big, dopey smile on your face "I won't do anything I don't want to do" you whispered, biting your lip to conceal yet another smile
"So you wanted to kiss me like that?" He teased with a huge smile on his face. You turned away from him and began walking to the bathroom, answering his question by looking over your shoulder and inviting him in with a tilt of your head
"Come shower with me and I'll let you know what I really want"
He laughed loudly and you couldn't help but join in, it was so contagious. "Oh you crazy crazy girl" he said as he followed behind you, ready for whatever you had to offer him
Maybe you don't plan on getting married anytime soon or dating to be honest but Stefan has become a constant in your life and you'd like to keep it that way and when the time comes when you both want to settle down, it wouldn't be too bad if it was with him
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c-h-i-m-es · 1 year ago
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gojo satoru
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the door to your apartment bursts open, startling you. you whip your head back and see gojo come in with megumi and tsumiki on either sides of his arms, . "hello to my favorite person." he says to you with his usual grin on his face.
"don't go on banging my door boy." you get up and spread your arms, in which tsumiki runs and hugs you with a huge smile on her face, "hi baby. how was school today?"
"i got ten out of ten in my drawing todays." she says with a huge smile on your face, which did not match the frown the megumi had on his own. "that's my girl. i'm so proud of you." you ruffle her hair and look at megumi, "stop making that face megumi."
megumi extends his arms at you, his way of telling you to carry him. you chuckle and take him making gojo's lips turn to a pout, "hey give me some love too." you blow him a kiss and walk to the couch, holding tsumiki's hand in yours while gojo follows you behind.
you place megumi on your lap and cup his face, "why are you more grumpy than usual baby? did something happen?" he looks down, playing with his fingers, "my friend bragged about how he went out of the city to visit his grandparents."
"what? you wanna do the same?" gojo speaks, wrapping his arms around tsumiki, earning himself a slap on his arms from you. you pat the kid's head, "and then what happened megumi?"
"he told me that it helps improve bonding in the family." you are shocked, to say the least, at his words because what kind of elementary kids talk about family bonding and not their favorite cartoon and candies.
you shoot a look at gojo, who seems dumbfounded by what megumi just said. he tilts his head at the kid, "and you're sad because your friend is bonding with his family?"
you shake your head at his comment and mouth his some curses. "i am not sad." megumi exclaims and looks up at gojo with his brows furrowed and a pout on his lips. "i want us to bond as well. i want all four of us to spend time together."
"megumi, we do spend time together. we all four also sleep together when you cannot sleep alone." gojo teases the kid making you groan, "satoru you are such a bad parental figure."
"woah babe, careful with your words. you might hurt me." he puts his hands up, but then looks at megumi again, "megumi, do you think we are not bonding as a family?"
you look down at the baby boy in your lap who shakes his head, "no i also wanna do some bonding activates. my other friends also spend their weekend visiting places together with their family."
tsumiki's face suddenly brightens up and she clasps her palms together with a grin on her face, "how about we go for picnic this weekend?"
you smile at how adorable expression she has on her face and ruffle her hair, "i do think we do quite a lot of bonding together thing. but hey, how can i say no to my kids?"
megumi beams up at you, his eyes sparkling and a smile on his lips, "we can?" you cup his face, "of course we can baby. right satoru?" you look at your boyfriend, who has a smile on his face, looking at the two important people in his life together, "yeah of course. whatever you kids wanna do." he ruffles megumi's hair, making the kid's face break into a huge grin, and not the usual frown.
two days passed, and it's saturday. you spent the morning in your kitchen with the three's helping hands, making some sandwiches and going grocery shopping to buy snacks, drinks and chocolates.
"i don't think i've ever went for a picnic." gojo says as he spreads the cloth on the grass. and helps you with the basket, putting it in the middle, while you, tsumiki and megumi take off your shoes. megumi takes off his backpack with his favorite toys and coloring book and crayons, putting it besides him as he sits down, with a smile on his face. same with tsumiki, but with the cookies she baked with you the other day and her story books.
you and gojo sit on each side of the and unpack the foods that you bought. you see your boyfriend open up the food packages, and suddenly feel giddy. "this feels so nice."
the three look at you, tsumiki leaning onto you with a smile on her face, "can we take a lot of pictures? i want to make a scrapbook." megumi perks up, "i wanna take pictures too! i'm gonna show them off to my friends."
you just chuckle while gojo lets out a laugh, like he is proud of what he just heard come out of megumi's mouth. "don't worry kids, i'm gonna make all your wishes come true."
about an hour and half has passed and the kids are running around the park, playing among themselves, leaving you and gojo to have some alone time. you lay your head in his laps, while he is looking at the kids with a fond smile on his face and his hand stroking your hair.
"we should do this more often." gojo speaks pulling you out of your thoughts and looks down at you. you smile at him, bringing your hands up to cup his face, "yeah we should." he leans down, placing a soft kiss on your lips.
"dad!" the kids come back running to you both, making you sit up. the kids come running and crash into gojo, making the poor man groan in pain. he holds them both on either sides of his arms, pulling back just a little to look at them, "careful kiddos, you might hurt yourselves."
you look at the three of them, and think about how this all feels so normal. having to look after two kids at such young age felt weird at that time. but what's more weirdly normal now is how being with them feels so natural. they've become part of your life, that being without them seems more weirder.
being with them not only feels normal, it feels like home.
"so what do you kids want?" gojo asks and tsumiki points at the icecream truck a little away, "we want ice cream." gojo chuckles with a nod and turns to you, "i'll get us our desert, 'kay?" you nod at him and he ruffles your hair, making the kids snicker at the action, and get up, walking towards the icecream truck.
in next few minutes, they are back again with a cone in each of the kids' hand and gojo himself with two cones in his hands. he hands you your cone with your favorite flavor and the three sit down around you.
you let out a sigh and rest your head on gojo's shoulders, him holding your empty hand with his own. seeing you two, the kids also lean in close and laugh at the very familiar sight of you two being affectionate with each other.
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a/n; i saw the shibuya arc trailer like half an hour ago and i cannot wait for it anymore. EVERYONE LOOKS SO GOOD even mahito😭😭 and GOJO AND CHOSO😻💋👀‼️😭🫀 KILL ME PLEASE I ALMOST DIED THEY'RE SO HOT!!! and even the op is so good like how is everything so damn good??!!!
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hangmanbradshaw · 4 months ago
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Rare personal post, under the cut (trigger warning re: death and grief and complicated family dynamics and a lot of sentimentality haha)
Today would’ve been my dad’s 60th bday. It’s only two years fresh so I never know what feelings to expect, but I was looking through old pics because of my cousin and smiling, and that’s good? He struggled with addition, and caused more scars than I’ll ever be able to talk about no matter how much therapy and EMDR I do, but as complicated as our family was, I love and miss him. There were so many good rays of moments in it, especially when I was younger. My teenage years were hell. The end wasn’t good. It’s all true. I never thought I’d be in my 20s being next of kin- making decisions about life support and planning funerals and burials and giving eulogies and writing obituaries and taking care of my grandparents, but I think I’ve found my peace with it. It hurts, but it’s bearable.
I keep thinking about the eulogy I wrote and gave, what I believe in my heart about loss after losing my best friend, my dad, other friends. They really stick with us? In so many ways we don’t always see. It’s not about moving on, truly it’s about just finding space for the rest of life too. Widening your heart to it. I watch Star Wars and I think of Andrew. I talk to his mom and we laugh. I get excited for football or hiking or going on an adventure and that’s my dad. All these pictures of him younger, healthier, playing football and bringing us to games, teaching my brother and me how to play, taking us white water rafting and horseback riding and hiking and camping over and over. Pictures of him doing it himself when he was younger. And it’s just like. I’m his daughter. He lives on in my life because I see those things in my life, and for that, I’m so grateful. I look at my life and that lyric is so true- There wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you.
My writing journey started about a year after he passed as art therapy. I realized I loved it. I met all of you, wrote IWTBY, wrote my novel now. I took myself to the Super Bowl and watched the team he taught me to love win. I took myself to a movie premiere, to Europe, to all these things he never got to do. To national parks he did visit. To parks he took us to. My brother and I are going to Austin this fall and staying out on a ranch like we did as kids. I live in a peaceful little apartment with a job that helps people and wonderful friends and all that pain and hurt led to it. Anyways, just a long, ridiculously sentimental rant to say I’m grateful for this little community. For my little life. It’s simple, and it’s mine, and I am forever thankful for it. For all of you and the love you show me, whether it be for my stories which truly have changed my life, or in general. I wrote that one shot last night, and immediately was blown away by the love y’all give it and me. If my little stories have made you smile, or feel something, it’s all I can hope for. I hope everyone who sees this finds their own peace, no matter how impossible it seems, truly. Keep your head up, keep finding the beauty and joy in the little things. In the sun shining and laughter with a friend and movies that make you inspired. With love, Steph 💙
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aliendollien · 2 months ago
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Bocchi and me went out with a friend ( @mumbulus as featured in the second Pic doing the bare minimum to hold her up) today where we got pizza and music!
The figure kit in the last Pic isn't mine. Idk if I've shown off her track suit yet, I just ordered it off Amazon and it's not quite the right color, but closer than I originally thought it was. I kinda wanna remake the pants, but it also gives bocchi the vibe of :I just a growth spurt and now none of my pants are long enough. It was good to bring her with me, I get nervous sometimes when bringing out my dolls in public, but my friends and family's reactions and support has really helped! I love taking my dolls to my grandparents whenever I visit to clean for them because they're always so excited to help me set up/find a spot to pose my dolls for pictures. Idk, it just makes me so happy that other people enjoy my art just as much as I do making it. I got really rambly but I just wanted to talk somewhat about my experience with this kinda stuff. Dolls and doll making are something I really enjoy as they help me explore different fashion styles, art techniques, and photography more so than I get to otherwise. I don't know if it's obvious or not, but irl I dress masculine and in lots of blacks and skulls and such, but I still love alot of pink and pretty fashion styles, so I make those kinds of things for my dolls as I don't like wearing them myself. Fashion subcultures are something I also really adore, so I hope in the future to try and make even prettier clothing for my dolls!
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d0enti · 5 months ago
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Toya with fatherless s/o...? If you can. It can be hurt to comfort
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PJSEKAI—“I trust you.”
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➵Summary:Toya with fatherless reader
➵Warning:mention of suicide
➵A/N:I just want to say that the full "relationship" reader has with they father is hugely inspired by my same with the event, this isn't counted as vent I just took inspo and just so happened the inspo is my life
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Every since you were little you didint know you father, based on what you knew he committed suicide when you were only 2 and he left nothing to you, you mother raised you alone with the support of her grandparents when you were in kindergarten you always feel like the odd one, only because everyone had a dad but not you, the older you got the more you forgot and what's more important you have an amazing boyfriend Toya! Who never judged you, I mean he didin't know about you situation yes but still if he did he wouldn't judge you.
Well today's event weren't going great you had a shitty day and you were walking home until a lady stopped you introducing herself as you grandma from you dad side, not to you knowledge Toya followed you wanting to make sure you alright, when he saw you talking to you grandma he wanted to leave thinking you in safe hands, until he heard her say something stopping him from walking away
"you do remember how you father committed suicide right?"
"ah... I'm sorry I should get goi-"
"you poor thing, I been looking a while for you but I couldn't find you, you mother probably locks you inside your house and only lets you out to go to school"
"I- that's not the case I-"
"you know me and you grandpa we were so worried, we missed you, occasionally he would walk our dog around you house at night hoping you go out"
"what..."
Before you grandma could continued Toya walked up to you and hugged you from behind
"Toya?"
"hey everything alright [Y/N]? Should I walk you home?"
"who might you be?"
"Toya Aoyagi, [Y/N] boyfriend"
"ah how nice, you know you two should visit us"
"I'm affirad we won't be able too"
"we have too much school work now if you excuse us"
Before you grandma could speak Toya took you hand and started walking, rubbing the back of your hand with his finger to calm you down, when you returned to you place you invited Toya in and you both sat on your bed ready to have a chat
"[Y/N] are you alright?"
"yeah just... what happened was too much"
"I get it love, feel free to hug me and let it all out"
You did as Toya said, letting all of your feelings out from what happened now to everything what happened before, and Toya gladly listened wanting to support you as much as he could,after everything Toya started always walking with you home planning that if he sees your grandma you both just ran off, Toya taught you that you father was a shitty one who probably didn't love you, but that doesn't matter you have a loving mother and boyfriend who loves you dearly.
Today you were on the rooftop hanging out with Toya, talking about your date that's going to happen on this specific day Toya would be a liar if he said he's not exited for it after all only recently you calmed down with your sleepless nights, though to your surprise the date was happening on the roof during ths sun down Toya grabbed you hand and started dancing waltz with you, while music suddenly started playing in your mind, after the dance you both kissed and smiled from the pure luck you had
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bangtanhoneys · 1 year ago
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GRACE VLOG - Family Day Out
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As the last vlog to go out on Big Hits YouTube account, Grace’s was at least over an hour long with the thumbnail of her in the driver’s seat and a question mark over the person in the passenger seat. Nothing fancy, nothing over the top. Just simple and straight to the point that this video would be about Grace doing her daily thing. 
“Good morning,” Grace grinned at the camera that was pointed at her as she sat in the driver’s seat for the Hyundai Palisade. “I didn’t really know what to vlog as nothing much is happening for me and I know the boys are off doing their own thing, but I got a phone call from someone yesterday who needed my help today so I promised them I would dedicate the whole day to what they needed but I’d have to vlog about it. So that’s where we’re going.”
Grace turned the engine on and plugged in her phone, pressing a couple of buttons on the navigation. “I should also explain one of the managers is in the back in case anyone thinks there’s a random person in my car,” she added as she pulled on her seatbelt. There was a deep chuckle in the back which made her smile. “Sorry, Hobeom-oppa.”
She pulled away from HYBE’s parking spaces and onto the busy roads of Seoul, which was in peak morning traffic. There wasn’t much talking other than the sounds of someone tapping their phone and the low sound of music coming from the system, which seemed to be classical. “It’s odd not having one of the guys in the car with me,” she suddenly said. “There’s always someone there,” she added as she waved a hand in the direction of the passenger seat. “Always talking.”
After fifteen minutes of driving, she pulled into another underground parking lot after waving a card at the machine. She pulled into one of the spaces and left the engine running, pulling out her phone to send a quick message.
“I bet she’s going to be late,” she muttered to her manager who got out and opened the passenger door. 
ARMY would be then utterly surprised to see another woman, slightly taller than Grace and obviously much older climb into the passenger seat. “Sorry I’m late! Your father handed me another list of things to get.”
Grace laughed and reached over, hugging her mother. 
“Let me introduce you,” she said as she waited for her mother to get settled into her seat. She then pointed to the various cameras. “Mum, say hello to ARMY. Both in Korean and English.”
The older woman, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes, pale skin with freckles spread across her nose and thin-framed glasses, looked puzzled for a moment until she realised. “Ah,” she muttered, then gave a small bow from her seat. “Hello, I’m Hea’s mother,” she said in Korean before smiling, the same smile Grace had. “Hello, I’m Grace’s mum,” she then added in English, with a clear London accent.
“Okay, where are we going first?” Grace asked, as Hobeom got back into his seat and closed the door behind him. She reserved out of the space and out of the underground parking.
“Well, we need to get your Dad some new shirts,” her mother said in English then switched to Korean for the benefit of the cameras and Hobeom in the back. “And then I’ve got some grocery shopping to do and we need to get some bits for your grandparents, since we’re visiting them at the weekend which you’ve cleared your schedule for?”
Grace gave a quick glance to the manager in the back who nodded. “All clear. It would be nice to see them, I haven’t seen them since the new year?” she guessed. It was hard to keep up with what day it was, never mind what month it was. 
“New year,” her mother confirmed. “So before you get busy again, it’s probably best to spend some time with them. I think the uncles and aunties and cousins are coming as well.”
“Ah, the Chu family reunion,” Grace laughed as she waited at the lights to head to the Starfield COEX Mall. She had a mask and a bucket hat in her bag to throw on when they got there. 
Of course, it was extremely busy there for the time of day and thankfully the disguise did the trick as they got through the entrance from the parking lot and up to the floor to the shop where her Dad got his shirt’s from. Of course, it didn’t stop her mother from having a quick wander around and it didn’t stop Grace going into the bookstore and coming out with two large bags. 
Poor Hobeom, who had volunteered to carry the bags, obviously didn’t realise who he was shopping with. “We’ll get your favourite food after this. We’re going to Gwangjang Market as well,” Grace promised as she wrapped a hand around his arm. 
What was meant to be an hour at the shopping mall, had turned into two hours though you couldn’t tell from the editing done by the team. They had timelapsed the whole thing into a quick segment, which ended up with them leaving the mall and on the road to the market.
“The famous Gwangjang Market, as seen on Netflix,” Grace commented as she weaved through traffic easily.
“It’s not the same as the markets in England when it’s Christmas,” her mother added.
“No, it’s not. We need to go back at one point, maybe take the boys,” Grace mused. “They’d like a Christmas market, especially like the ones in Berlin.”
It had been awhile since she had been home to England and it had been even longer since she had been to Berlin, just to go and be a tourist rather than perform. She tried to go back home with her parents as much as she could but with their schedule and then obviously COVID, it had waylaid any plans. 
“Jungkook would love the food,” her mother laughed. “His eyes would grow massive at the size of those popular sausages and pretzels.”
“You know for a fact they would love the beer in Germany,” Grace scoffed but she was smiling as she said it, pulling into the famous Korean market. 
“Here is where the fun begins but let’s get something to eat first,” she said as they got out of the car. It was going to be easier for her to be recognised in this place, mostly because her mother stood out the most. For Grace it was easy to blend in with a mask and a hat because of her Korean eyes, but for her mother, who was clearly a foreigner, not so much. 
So she ditched the disguise and took the mini camera with her, leaving her phone and keys with her manager. 
They found a space at one of the stalls selling kalguksu, korean knife noodles, and so Grace paid for their lunch while normal everyday people carried on with their lives. One or two people spotted her and waved and the owner of the stall they were at asked for her autograph, but other than that they carried on peacefully.
By the end of their visit, Hobeom was carrying three large bags of stuff for Grace’s mother and two of his own. Grace was carrying another three bags in one hand and one in the other, which contained some of the things she had seen. And her mother had one small one.
“I feel bad that you have to carry it all,” she apologised to the manager. It was clear they had known each other for a long time because Hobeom laughed it off and shook his head, speaking for the first time. “Angela-ajumma, it’s honestly no problem. I’m happy to help.”
“Call me Angela without all that Korean part,” her mother said with a wave of her hand causing Grace to grin.
“Try saying it in English,” Grace pointed out to her manager as they walked out the market.
“It’s no problem Angela,” he said very slowly and it was a bit of broken English but it got to the point. 
“There we go! Just don’t tell Grace’s father about that because you know how he is about speaking Korean,” her mother laughed as they loaded the bags into the car.
“He’s a fussy ajusshi,” Grace sighed as they all climbed into the car and made the trek back over to Seongsu-dong as her parents lived within minutes of SM Entertainment and the Seoul Forest. 
The vlog ended with her mother waving goodbye to the camera and giving Grace’s cheek a kiss as she got out of the car.
“ARMY, thank you for joining me on a day out with my mother. I hope to see you all soon and maybe, we can take you all to England with us one day. Bye for now,” she waved at the camera before turning it off and getting out of the car to help with the bags. 
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t-ierrahumeda · 13 days ago
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I've had such a great day today, and though I'm tired I'm very happy. I went to a nutritionist that was very professional and sweet, then went to visit my grandparents and they made me a delicious, nutritious lunch (and they were happy to see me), and then I went with a friend who's the best and super fun to an artists event and had a blast. We talked a bit about life and got a bunch of cool stuff.
It's been a long time since I've felt this way! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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zhongrin · 7 months ago
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G I X Y D
:)
selfship a-z ask game ->
cw. slight angst on "I"
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G - Greetings what was their first meeting like?
𝔃𝓱𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓵𝓲 ᡣ𐭩 this fic hahaha
ⲇⳑ ⲏⲇⳕτⲏⲇϻ ᡣ𐭩 at al haitham's grandmother's house, while the adults are chatting over teatime: "what'cha reading?" "…. a book." "…. fair enough. *proceeds to take a book from the shelf and reads it beside him*"
𝔴𝔯𝔦𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔰𝔩𝔢𝔶 ᡣ𐭩 "*is especially nervous bc oh no he's hot* hello, your grace." "oh, hi. *notices i'm trembling like a pitiful wet dog* haha, relax, i don't bite." "*dies a little inside* y-yes, your grace...."
I - Imagine what do they imagine their futures together like?
𝔃𝓱𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓵𝓲 ᡣ𐭩 all contracts comes to an end eventually, once the conditions are fulfilled ー and the same goes for ours. but until then, he'll just enjoy walking in the long winding path that is an immortal's life. maybe a few kids, watch over our descendants, be awed at the technological advancements of liyue… as they say, when the boat gets to the bridge-head, it will naturally go straight.
ⲇⳑ ⲏⲇⳕτⲏⲇϻ ᡣ𐭩 we're both chronic planners, so we have regular talks about it and therefore a clear plan on what we want or not want to do in the future. married, preferably two kids, a nice pension plan, some savings in the bank, adopt a dog when the kids leave the nest, enjoy retirement reading books and doing whatever nerdy hobbies we want to enjoy.
𝔴𝔯𝔦𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔰𝔩𝔢𝔶 ᡣ𐭩 this man keeps telling himself not to dream too high lest it all crash down horribly at the end. honestly, with his past i think a part of him desperately wants a happy little family of his own, but the other half is so afraid he'll fuck it all up because he's never really truly experienced familial love. but deep in his heart he really just wants a resemblance of a normal life ー he knows his situation isn't ideal, but he wants a little family he can care for and be surrounded with as his fists get weaker and he passes down the title of the fortress' administrator to a suitable successor.
X - X-ray how do they help the other if they’re sick or tired?
𝔃𝓱𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓵𝓲 ᡣ𐭩 he's big on acts of service and words of affirmation, so he'll brew a pot of osmanthus tea and either sits me down to relax (if i'm tired) or tuck me in to bed (if i'm sick). househusband material, will cook and do all the chores flawlessly. liwei and liwen (especially the former) tries to sneak past him to cuddle with me, but he'd scoop up the littol noodles and distract them somehow ᰔᩚ
ⲇⳑ ⲏⲇⳕτⲏⲇϻ ᡣ𐭩 makes sure to tick all the steps in 'how to care for a sick person' book. but also he takes all the things that his grandparents do for him whenever he got sick ᰔᩚ like making me soup and (if i plead enough times) humming a calming lullaby to help me sleep hehe
𝔴𝔯𝔦𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔰𝔩𝔢𝔶 ᡣ𐭩 makes sure that i'm taking time off from work, calls sigewinne for a home visit, and most of all, if i have fever, he'd personally use his hand as a cold compress. none of the staffs in the fortress of meropide would ever imagine they'd hear an excuse "sorry, can't come to work today, i need to be my wife's compress." from their administrator but they let him skip work since they know he deserves the rest anyway :3
Y - Yes who would propose? What would the proposal be like?
answered here ->
D - Danger how do they react to finding out the other person is in trouble?
...... *squints* i seem to remember answering a selfship ask game with this prompt last time...
𝔃𝓱𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓵𝓲 ᡣ𐭩 if it's within liyue, i'd like to think that he'd know almost immediately, but if not, it would be a little more complicated. depending on the severity of said danger... hmm.... well.... let's just say he wouldn't take it just lying down....
ⲇⳑ ⲏⲇⳕτⲏⲇϻ ᡣ𐭩 have we ever seen al haitham truly furious or 'panicked' in-game? (mmm that azar cutscene... yummy... but i mean that's him acting mad so does it count??) i'd like to think that he still tries to be rational, figure out a way to handle things efficiently... but push a man hard enough and he'll break eventually. just remember what they say about the quiet/calm ones...
𝔴𝔯𝔦𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔰𝔩𝔢𝔶 ᡣ𐭩 ohohoho- ahem. i mean, we've seen it in his story quest. man takes action immediately. will throw a few punches if need be. if the duke wants somebody dead, he needs no justification. understood? ˙ ᵕ ˙
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heystephen · 6 months ago
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i have to share this scout, i hope you don't mind
in a surprising turn of events I just met a zionist
i was at a birthday party and a group of us were chatting about eurovision, and i said im boycotting this year because israel is participating, when they should have banned it just like they did with russia and this girl (from abroad, working here) went "why?" and i said "because of the ongoing genocide" to which she replied "oh you think israel is perpetrating a genocide? im a zionist i think hamas is doing that to the jews in israel, but i respect your opinion" which i know it's code for no she doesn't
but she's currently in a country that has an eerily similar history to palestine and she doesn't even know it. she doesn't know that my people were forced out of their homes, and those homes taken from them. the men were forced into a war for others while the women were left behind with two options: cross a mountain in the middle of winter and hope you reach the other side, or die then and there. they were banned from practicing their religion and speaking their native language and the world just stood by. it happened 80 years ago, and the kids that survived are either great grandparents today or have passed away, but half of the people she was surrounded by are the descendants of those people. the two countries where this happened now have great relations, and the past is the past, no need to punish the son for the sins of the father, but my blood boils to see the same thing happening today to anyone else. and to be met with "i respect your opinion but im a zionist" when i know full well what the word choice means. im glad the rest of the people there arent familiar with the term zionist because the party would have immediately ended. i stopped participating in the conversation as she started explaining how great israel and how they're the best at everything (tech, healthcare, rights, etc) is and the others were explaining that there are countries doing far better at this very moment, and she just kept denying it. and then she left a few minutes later because she didn't feel like "debating the greatness of israel when none of us have ever been there, and she's visited twice". except she was wrong there too, as a few of us have visited before and seen first hand what it's like there. she seemed nice on all the other topics but then ran when she got cornered by facts which was very surprising. it almost sounded like we were talking to a trump supporter, telling them trump has committed crimes, and them living in a parallel world where he's done nothing wrong.
hi anon. i’m so sorry you had to hold your composure in that conversation. generational trauma is very real and it makes complete sense why you’d be uncomfortable speaking to her and hearing what she has to say. hopefully, she sees the truth soon and reassess the things that she has been saying.
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yourimagines · 7 months ago
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Reader x Dad!Drake Parker/Dad!Drake Bell
I love this idea, I hope you like this one
Family
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* English is not my first language I apologise
* Triggers: a hint of 18+ stuff, fluff
Drake 42, Y/N 39, Thomas 17, Joshua 17 and Dylan 9
Y/N POV
Drake and I met each other in school, we were friends and at someday that friendship changed, we both fell in love and our relationship grew stronger. We both became parents in our twenties and he asked me to marry him. We both moved out and rented a small apartment for a few years till his band was big enough to tour around the world and make more money for a living. We bought our dream house and I got pregnant again.
“Foods ready!” Drake yells as he was flipping the hamburgers on the barbecue. “Coming!” Thomas yelled as Dylan was already sitting outside, waiting for the food. “It looks good.” I said as I walked out with a bowl of salad in my hands. “Let me help you beautiful.” I shook my head at him as he made his way over. “I’m alright, I can do this by myself.” He smiled and still took it out of my hands. “I know you can do it by yourself but I love helping you.” Dylan made a gag sound as Drake gave me a kiss. “Daddy that’s gross.” Drake laughed and placed the bowl down on the table. “Did he kiss mom again?” The twins walked out and shot him a glare. “Why can’t I show your mother some love.” He threw his arms up and walked back to the barbecue.
“Mom, can we go out this Saturday?” Joshua asked me. I looked over at Drake and he just shrugged his shoulders. “Mom please? Andrew is throwing a party at his house.” Thomas said as Drake kept quiet. “You guys can go but first we have to visit uncle Josh. It’s his birthday Saturday.” They both nodded with a smile on their faces. “Thanks mom.”
Drake POV
It was Saturday morning and it was already a mess. “Darling you look beautiful.” I said to her as she was trying to find an outfit for later today. “You always say that.” She threw the dress down on our bed and sighed. “I’m not in my twenties anymore Drake, I’m….never mind.” She walked back to her wardrobe to find something else. “It’s just my brother’s birthday party, it’s not a gala my love.” I stood up and walked over to her. “You are beautiful.” My hands went to her waist and pulled her close to my naked chest. “Drake…” my fingers slowly traced over her stomach. “You are beautiful to me, you gave me three amazing children, darling.” I placed a soft kiss on her shoulder and she smiled at me through the mirror. “I love you.” I smiled back at her and kissed her shoulder again. “I love you too baby.”
The twins were hanging around the kitchen counter as their mom made them some breakfast. “How long are we staying there today?” She looked up and gave them a well knowing look. “Don’t start already Joshua, we’re not even there yet.” She gave him a plate and went back to making an other one. “Your mother is right, I don’t want to hear it either today.” I walked past them and gave Dylan a ruffle through his hair. “Daddy!” He laughs at me as I just messed up his hair. “But mom, we need to know.” “Thomas, stop talking about the party or you guys won’t go.” They became quiet and I gave them a sorry look. “Don’t worry.” I mouthed at them.
We all arrived on time at Josh’s his house, our parents were there and some other family members. “Hey brother.” Josh’s says as he gave me a hug. “Hey brother, happy birthday.” He smiled at me and greeted my wife and the kids. “Look at you guys, growing up fast.” The twins gave him an awkward hug and quickly disappeared to their grandparents. “Hi Josh.” Y/n says and gives him a hug. “Hey y/n, how’s everything going?” She smiles and hands him our gift for him. “Good, we are doing good.” He thanks her for the gift and guides us inside.
“They are good young boys, I’m so proud of you Drake.” My mom said to me as the three of them were playing with some other kids. “No…it was all y/n. I’m hardly around, with touring and working late nights in the studio.” She reached her hand out and gently squeezed my hand. “You are a good person Drake, they love you and so does she.” She nodded at her direction, she was holding a baby. “I’m lucky to have her mom.” She smiles and nods. “You are because you’re not the smartest person I know.” She jokes as I never took school serious. “I still made it.” “Yes you did.”
Y/n POV
It was getting late and we promised the kids that they could go out tonight so I walked up to Drake and wrapped my arms around his torso. “Hey pretty lady.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close. “I think I want to go home.” I whispered into his ear as he was listening to his cousin talk about his kids having a hard time sleeping. I felt him squeezing my hip and I tried not to giggle about it. “Speaking of that, I think we need to go. It’s way past Dylan bedtime.” He says as he looked around for the kids. “Joshua, Thomas and Dylan, say goodbye and get your belongings. We are going home.” He says as the kids were playing some football. “Okay!” They all three yelled back as they run inside to say goodbye.
I just put Dylan to bed as Drake got back home from dropping them off at Andrew’s house. “Where is my pretty wife.” He says as he entered the house. I was lying down on the couch, watching some television. “In here.” I waved my hand up in the air as he made his way over to me. “They sleep there for the night, is Dylan in bed?” He plopped down next to me and I moved my way over to him, laying my head down on his chest. “Yes Dylan is in bed, he’s a sleep.” He smiled and starts to leave some wet kisses around my neck and shoulder. “Good, I guess it’s me and you then for tonight.” I giggled as I knew what he meant. “Then show me your plans for tonight then.” I teased him as I placed a soft kiss on his lips. “I will baby, I will show you my plans.”
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perhaps-in-anotherdream · 1 year ago
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Hello!!! I hope you're well. I want to ask you if I'm the only one who thinks that Víctor wasn't his mom's priority... I don't want to upset anyone, but I feel like his mom abandoned him a bit when she went to Paris, and she didn't care much about what will happen with little Vic, as at one point we are even told "Although I don't understand why Mommy had to go so far to work as a teacher, she had been visibly grumpy for a while (...) But luckily, ever since she went to France, I've seen smiles on her face again." I feel like the lady prioritizes herself, and she won't care how much Victor needed her. Sorry for such a long comment LOL. And again, I know many revere the lady, and I don't want to offend anyone, I just want to know if anyone else saw this.
hello! I’ve been doing much better lately, thank you! hope you’re doing well too~ ಡ⁠ ͜⁠ ಡ
there’s no need to walk on eggshells, haha. and to be very honest with you, no you’re not the only one. i’ve had similar conversations with other players both on global and CN before (even had one yesterday with @/thedummysdummy after seeing your ask), and have read the CN players’ different analyses on it before too.
if you want my personal take on the matter, it’s one of those moments as the omniscient audience, y'know? and precisely because we’re shown the entire picture, it becomes harder to decide whether you want to be rational about it or be driven by human emotions. but one thing I would say first, regardless of what went down, it’s a wonder that he was so mature beyond his years since childhood and grew up to be the wonderful man he is today, given that when you really think about it just how easily he could’ve grown up with traumas/ or some form of abandonment issues considering his childhood experiences and how deeply sentimental he is. to borrow MC’s words, the grand miracle indeed.
✦ regarding Victor’s mom and her moving to Paris permanently:
from Victor’s contents throughout the years, we know that Victor’s mom and dad would talk on the phone for hours on end (3rd birthday story), his dad would still call his mom’s number after she had passed away (4th birthday story, and just like how Victor used to as we found out in the Rooftop Date story), he would send her gifts and stuffs when little Victor went to visit his mom (Sea-circle event story) etc., indicating they had a good relationship. Victor’s mom had her ring on in his 3rd birthday card, which meant they were still together. And despite all this, you can feel that cord of dissonance between them— we never got any mentions of Victor’s dad visiting her, and Victor’s mom moving away from her beloved and child permanently like that really doesn’t sing harmony either. but then again, we can’t make any assumptions given that we don’t know what really went down between them.
another point to note, Victor had spent a good share of his early childhood in Èze, France at his maternal grandparents’ (S1 CH 37 R&S, Passing the Winter ASMR). Later on, his mom permanently moved to France when he was 7 years old (or rather moved back), and even her cemetery is in France. This makes you wonder if she never got over her homesickness/ adapted to this country? What exactly was her illness, especially since there’s no details on that end?
again, his mother loved him, like you expect a mother to love their kids, undoubtedly. But it’s the harsh reality when you have working parents, who also happen to have their own ambitions to chase after.
✦ and that brings us to how this affected little Victor:
y'know his maturity beyond his years is both a blessing and a curse. I can vouch for that from my personal experiences too, haha :> anyway,
« it’s a curse, because » when I was going through the sea-circle event you quoted from, all I could think about was just how deep his selflessness is rooted in. he was a 7 year old for god’s sake— but all he wanted was for his parents to be happy, no matter how much it pained him. and you know what happens as a result? people take you for granted. his parents loved him dearly, yes, but they were absent for most of his life.
he mastered the French cuisine when he was only 11-12 years old (S2 30-33 R&S), because his mom was already settled in Paris and his dad could never be home. he never told anyone about his Evol, never told anyone about the orphanage kidnapping incident and losing MC in that horrific situation. and he kept searching for her in however ways a little kid could without ever telling anyone, until he grew up and built his piller himself for more effective and thorough approach e.g., appointing a detective etc.
he learned stock market handlings when he was only 14 years old to earn for himself and bear his responsibilities (e.g., paying for Yan Yan and the kid), so that he could grow up fast. because he did not want to be a burden nor did he want to rely on anyone for what he wanted to do (4th birthday story).
human emotions are very fragile and delicate. once smashed, they are nearly impossible to piece together, just like broken shards. tbh, the gradual negligence and feeling of loneliness can leave scars even deeper than a traumatic event. wonder why he built that armor for himself and the writers emphasize how he’d have succumbed to that life of loneliness and solitude had it not been for MC stepping into his barren desert? and not to mention, his Evol itself is the biggest curse on him, paving the road to perpetual loneliness and solitude.
────
« it’s a blessing, because » again, what comes under the light here is just how mature he’s always been. you can see how despite his obvious disappointment, loneliness, pains — he never once let himself “feel”/ ponder the direction that he was being left behind. even when he felt too worn down to bear, he directed his thoughts to his parents’ happiness. and when you think about how throughout the years, we’ve seen him clinging onto every little shard of his mom he could find — you can see the budding of negative impacts were right there on the other side of the threshold, but he never allowed himself to cross that door. *points wildly at Winter World Victor and S2 CH 46 amnesia Victor*
as he grew up, he split his attention to different plates, kept himself busy and occupied to never allow that seed to be sprouted. he let himself be content and never expected anything more (flashbacks to his 5th birthday date).
and you see this coming into the surface in his relationship with MC— how despite his suffocating schedule with all the responsibilities he has— he still manages to rip out even a little bit of time for only MC, his most precious lover, out of his daily schedule and makes the effort to make every moment count, proves to her how he takes each of her words, however big and small, to heart and puts them into action.
ever wonder why “quality time” is one of his primary love languages? there’s your answer on a silver platter. (⁠。⁠ノ⁠ω⁠\⁠。⁠)
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