#viscerally even
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i really honest to god do want absolutely nothing more than for every single succession character to feel so sick with themselves that they start dealing with crippling physical agony akin to the final stage of combined liver and renal failure but instead of dying which would be such a relief their rich republican healthcare enables them to abjectly suffer and shamble helplessly miserably grotesquely toward the finish line for 70+ years and when they're finally truly on death's door they're all an empty withered husk of profound dissatisfaction fully aware that they have never experienced true happiness and that they have never done anything worthwhile and that they leave behind absolutely nothing of value. that's what i want and need. that's catnip to me
#succession#not a hate post. i love the cast. love three dimensional complexly drawn people who nonetheless are actual human fucking garbage#i want to peel them like lemons and then pour salt on them. whatever#this is technically inflammation posting which is no doubt contributing to the level of misery i want them to feel. but also i am still#like this when not sick. just not as. viscerallg#viscerally even#succession spoilers#???? it's not really bc i only know a LITTLE of what happens at the end. but.
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Me craving human connection and ppl who actually engage with fan works: hmmmm I wonder if there’s anyone still alive and around the death note fandom
#death note fandom my beloved my absolute favorite#like I get other hyperfixations and rn I am deep in the bsd trenches but by god no one does fandom engagement like the death note fandom#I miss it badly#viscerally even#just <3#anyway considering posting the leftover crumbs of my dn fics possibly because again I miss this fandom so much#but idk if there’s anyone still out there so uhhh idk#hey dn fandom if you’re still alive give me a sign lmao#I have some stuff in my draft that I didn’t end up finishing before but I might be up to wrapping up now#with like less of a perfectionist mindset or whatever lmao#but yeah anyway screaming into the void is there anyone there?!?!?#talk back death note fandom void you are so dearly missed#if this mood persists I might talk about it further and like which crumbs I’d have to post and which fics I had cooking in my drafts#that like could be finished and posted and such#but yk#as long as there’s someone still around who would want to see them lmao#in short this is me going#death note fandom my beloved I can still hear your voice sometimes <3
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.
and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.
...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.
see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.
while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.
especially if the president of the united states is on board.
yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.
and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."
but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.
...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.
not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.
yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.
but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire
#kai rambles#so like#i enjoy ships and learning about them and looking at them but like#i dont really care for warships#i dont hate them viscerally like i do cruise ships but i never really care for them#apart from the ones that were just like either ridiculously designed like the hms captain or the vasa or the novgorod#or the ones where just insane shit happened like with the william d porter#like this isnt even the extent of the porters unfortunate incidents like shr was sank by a kamikaze attack that MISSED#but somehow ended up below the ship and exploded and just like yeeted the porter out of the water#william d porter#uss william d porter#ww2#world war 2#world war ii#warships#again warships are really not my thing but god some of them are so fucking funny#uss iowa#fdr#franklin d. roosevelt#this suddenly got so many notes in like less than 24 hours what the fuck#shipposting
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I think about this sometimes but I personally love that Horikoshi took the Yandere trope, split it in two, and gave one half to Izuku and Himiko.
Like it’s so fascinating how you can just SEE how purposeful Himiko was as a character in hindsight standing next to him.
Himiko is a really interesting subversion of her trope for two reasons:
She hurts people because she loves them, not for isolation or destruction of the competition (gore/blood is love to her, not necessarily a means to love someone)
She’s not possessive. Like at all.
I’ve seen that hc a few times and it always bothers me. Ochako is for sure a possessive character (we saw that with Hatsume around Izuku way back at the sports festival arc), but Himiko? Really?
You mean the girl who had a crush on a boy AND the girl who also had a crush on the same boy? Her?
You mean the girl who doesn’t hurt people who love who she loves, rather actively encouraging it in the first place? That one? Really?
Like it’s such an integral part to her subversion too. It’s what makes her such a weird and fascinating character. Possessiveness is supposed to be whats ugly about love itself, yet her love remains ugly without it. She is ugly because the fundamental ways in which she sees and feels about the world are considered “wrong”, “dangerous”, and “deviant”.
But Izuku… ohhhh Izuku…
He holds this trait like a badge melted to his skin. My man cannot escape these allegations. It’s to the point where it’s honestly a fundamental to his narrative. Izuku does not act nor feel the same without it.
Izuku holds a cutesy nickname that literally every other childhood friend of Katsuki’s has long left behind, saying his real name instead (this is honestly why I’m also uninterested in a scene where Izuku calls him “Katsuki” instead of “Kacchan”, Katsuki doesn’t represent the same things the name Izuku does, imo at least), izuku “give him back to me” midoriya, holds his dead body to his chest on a cover, freaked out on someone either hurting/offending Kacchan.. 3 times(?), keeping big boy ofa secrets…. The list goes on.
So it’s this main reason that I think their characters are just so. Fucking. Intertwined. I’m glad this has become a more common interpretation because there’s just so much that aligns between them.
Both of them call their “special people” with -chan endings, both by their first names, both deemed deviants/irrelevant by society. It’s no wonder Ochako fell in love with Izuku, just like she did toga, they’re fucking freaks. They’re interesting. They’re weird. They’re overly friendly and socially inept and a little beaten down by the world yet have too much passion to stay on the ground. They’re envious of the ones they love (Ochako of her freedom to be a normal girl, Katsuki for his raw power and harnessed skill), and I guess I just wanted to make this post because I adore how it’s all done.
I LOVE how the yandere trope is used as societal commentary here. Not necessarily as a way to make the main love interest jealous and feel she must protect the main character, nor for some kinky reason surrounding her character, but because the trope is built off of real, ugly feelings that can and do happen. That love can and is considered truly beautiful in all its forms, especially those of queer people.
So I especially love it because it isn’t just limited to Himiko, but Izuku as well. He may never hurt the ones he loves, but he would hurt for them.
A perfect narrative foil on queer and deviant forms of love. Big fan Horikoshi.
#they’re such freaks and that’s why I love them so much#and so are ochako and Katsuki in their own special ways#just never in the way people think#ochako is a little freak who may or may not think it’s hot when Izuku is a bit beat up.#Katsuki may also be a freak for being weirdly aggressive and so viscerally himself at all times. not even necessarily bc he wants to be a-#jackass but that it’s just who he is to call people asshole nicknames based on appearance or to scream mid battle#ntm my boy was bullied before he got his quirk so like. yk. makes sense that he’s so quick to think that izuku’s been playing the long game#bkdk#togachako#midoriya izuku#mha deku#bkdk brainrot#bakudeku#bnha deku#bakugou katsuki#mha analysis#deku midoriya#uraraka ochako#himiko toga#ochako x himiko
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xavier’s dynamic with mc is the most goated to me because first and foremost they chill with each other like friends do. Like that’s the foundation of everything, like sure it’s the nature of the game for it to be romantic but take that away and they would still get along so well—they’re friends and they meet each other in the middle as equals and at the end of the day it’s still love. sometimes no one else will know you the way a friend does
#friendship so goated bc u show up for no reason other than love#no physical attraction to move u forward just the act of fondness for someone else#being with someone without liking them as your own friend makes Zero sense to me#love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#love and deepspace xavier#lads xavier#lnds xavier#xavier x reader#xavier#this came to me in a visceral reaction when that man called me kitten and i was like#I don’t even know YOU#they literally started as high school friends#u can cosplay the high school romance but u will never have it#that’s me being shady
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the reason poolverine is so appealing is also because in all of his two-decade run in the xmcu they have given logan some of the most boring and rushed relationships with women (because it was the 2000s and the mold that they followed for rugged manly protagonists meant an astounding lack of chemistry between them and their love interests in favor of giving them the "dead wife who has a montage at the beginning of the movie" treatment etc etc) and then they put him in a 2 hour long film with a guy even more insane and fucked up than him and they matched each other beat for beat. say what you want about the mcu but they achieved a level of chemistry between logan and wade that fox couldn't reach in 20 years with like four different love interests. which is also a petition for them to either go the gay route or finally let logan find a woman he has good chemistry with and who can pass the bechdel test
#the only who came close to having good chemistry with logan was mariko and i could tell because when i watched the wolverine#and i saw them kiss i didn't have the same visceral disappointment i did whenever jean showed up in her dead wife attire#and like that film is meh but out of all of logan's love interests i liked her the most#she was a good character and they had good interactions#but even then can you even compare that to wade and logan on their film#anyways if you can't tell i am rewatching some stuff with the newly added context of the new movie#logan howlett#xmcu#poolverine#(also this is only about the movies i know nothing about the comics don't come at me)
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So… Stormbringer manga next?
please?
#i’m like 95% sure we will but#pls hoshikawa sensei i’m begging#verlaine looks so good in their style 😭#also it’s so cool to see this scene drawn out. the unresolved hurt. the melancholy#the bittersweet emotion paired with the horrors of what’s actually happening in this scene. TO A CHILD. who doesn’t even remember it#ughhh it’s visceral#bsd#skk#bungou stray dogs#soukoku#bsd dazai#dazai osamu#bsd chuuya#nakahara chuuya#fifteen phase 18 spoilers#fifteen manga spoilers#bsd fifteen manga#bsd fifteen#bsd stormbringer#bsd spoilers#rimlaine#bsd verlaine#bsd rimbaud#arthur rimbaud#paul verlaine
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"it's beautiful" *looks at elita*
#has a visceral reaction#AND SO HE LOOKS AT HER#I MEAN UNDERSTANDABLE HER BEAUTY IS BORN OF STARLIGHT AND IS APHRODITE'S BLESSING#I'm punching myself in the face a million times if they don't even HINT at them in thr sequel#THEY DID IT IN TFONE they teased oplitaaaaaayaaaaaa..🥹🥹😭😔#oplita#transformers#elita 1#transformers one#elita one#tf one#tf one elita#optimus prime#orion pax#tf one orion pax#In french elita says “c'est magnifique” and truly that might make orion looking at her hit more imo#like i love the way it's said in english but please look up the french trailer even if you don't speak it. This scene is jsut 🤌#I LOVE WHEN OTHER DUBS GIVE THE SHIT ENGLISH CAN'T#COUGH rotb charlie mention COUGH
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Better Call Saul characters + the books I think they read in school that haunted them forever
#the mike one is so important to me#i had a lot of fun with this will definitely make another#saul goodman#jimmy mcgill#mike erhmantraut#chuck mcgill#kim wexler#howard hamlin#bcs#better call saul#spaceman posts#q#Bartleby would be the one book jimmy read in high school bc its so short but i think it would stay with him for other reasons#he would “I would prefer not to” to Clifford Main#the howard one is like... visceral#kims is genuinely canon#and chuck definitely took advanced russian literature seminars “for fun” either during his undergad or even during law school
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Kingdom Hearts 3 - Lich
#kingdom hearts 3#kh3#lich#heartless#my gif#wanted to gif some spooky looking heartless and this seemed like a good one to start with#some pureblood heartless have the design motif of having a hollow heart-shaped cavity in their body#but this one looks particularly visceral as if its heart was ripped out or even exploded out of its chest#it looks like a fresh open wound#i suppose it makes sense that a heartless like this would have pink accent colors to resemble a heart but i feel like there's more to it#there's a sadness to its expression which isn't something that's present in other heartless
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what a shame, i can see it all now that we’re through
- firearm by lizzy mcalpine
(chapter 5 of call it even is making me feel bonkers insane. thank u @sha-nwa)
#my art#ml#call it even#miraculous ladybug#mlb#adrien agreste#marinette dupain cheng#adrinette#(i. guess. )#adrienette#ml fic rec#ml fic#the way abby writes is literally so delicious to me#the dialogue…the visceral descriptions…..#my friend who doesn’t watch ml has been reading and sending me detailed reviews of every chapter#and with this one she said she loved the female rage. which. real !#chapter 5 marinette is. well. she’s here for blood. as she should be honestly#anyway the song firearm has been wrecking my life about this story#it’s SO#what a joke was it all just an act i hate that it took me so long to react you had me convinced that you loved me!!!!!!!#thank you everyone readjng and commenting it’s really truly making my life#hang on tight adrien’s back on friday:)#don’t worry i won’t put him in situations. i would never#xoxo
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ihnmaims art, trying figure out styles 😭😭😭
feat @egg-on-a-legg s design of AM
and oc doodles ( am gets the ick from Charlie )
#ihnmaims oc#ihnmaims ted#am ihnmaims#ihnmaims fanart#ihnmaims#am#ihnmaims allied mastercomputer#ihnmaims am#Just some sketches#Are they lovers? No they’re worse.#Charlie doesn’t know personal space and keeps fucking wrecking everything#hate isn’t even a word AM can use to describe the visceral emotions he feels around them#Charlie hates Ted though. that won’t change lol.#ihnmaims benny
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They said he would enjoy playing together, now she's showing him her fav game
Crust belongs to @mothiepixie
#Lucky he let her sit there#But there's just one sofa so-#Wondering what he thinks about the visceral gore going on on that PSP#But he's not even paying attention#Srry not srry#Crust#Papyrus oc#Mothiepixie's oc
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#this is one of my favorite pokémon of ALL time. this is one of those pokémon that#when it first came out‚ i had such a Visceral reaction to. i couldn't get over this fucking dog. and i still can't#THEY CAN'T FUCKING SEE!!!!!! AHJGSAKDGASJGDSKCGAJVCKABCKB#i love it SO much it's so fucking. cute. it's so fucking cute. so happy to see that blue haired bitch in the sv dlc having one#DAS IST MEIN BABY. I LOVE IT. lord this is the best. gushing over this dog#while also listening to discO-zone for the first time in a Long time#which is one of my favorite albums of all time. right next to probably vylet pony's cutiemarks and the things that bind us#and burn pygmalion from the scary jokes#there you go. there's my music taste lain out flat. kinda all over the place but discO-zone is one of those that i've loved since i was#a real youngin. and i just rediscovered it last night and UUUUUUUGGHHHH IT'S SO GOOD#MUSIC!!!! AND DOGS. feeling GOOD this morning#by the time this posts‚ it'll be like. two weeks later. but past me was feeling great when she posted this#about to start shiny hunting pawniard for a friend's birthday. technically getting eggs as i write this#wish me luuuuck..! it'll probably be his birthday by the time this posts. lemme check#oh yeah this is gonna post two days After his birthday. hopefully by the time this goes up i've already got the pawniard#HI FORGOT TO TAG THIS ONE#hisuian growlithe#hi from the future again lol his birthday was like a month ago by this point because i ended up queueing up this guy before all the gmax#forms. i totally forgot them. and this whole time i've been queuing them up and shoving them Above this guy. so it was even longer ago#that i queued this guy up at this point. teehee!
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Masterlist
Grab your character and shove their head underwater. Keep them pinned until they breathe in the water. Pull them up and let them splutter and cough. Push them under again. Pull them up. Let them use their precious seconds of air to beg. "Ple-Please, please stop — " Push them under again. Feel them squirm. Pull them up sooner; they couldn't hold their breath long enough. Once more for good measure. Don't let them up until they nearly suffocate. Pull them up and throw them to the ground, let them cough up all the water they swallowed. Pull them into your lap. They are shivering, the cold water having seeped deep into their bones. They are crying. They are going to try to pull away. Don't let them. Hush them gently. Card through their hair. Let them relax under your hands. Then drag them back over to the water. Put their nose right above the surface and keep their head right there. Let them imagine how it will feel to be pushed under again, held there, pulled up just so they can drown again. They will fight, they will sob, they will plead and barter and yell. They will be scared. Answer them with an order. "Take a deep breath for me." Watch them struggle to decide if they should. They probably won't be able to take one deep enough if they tried. Push them under. Watch them squirm. Repeat.
#whump#my writing#whump writing#creepy whumper#intimate whumper#sadistic whumper#fear#begging#drowning#waterboarding#crying#whump prompt#writing prompt#always an advocate for drown your whumpees#its so good its so so good i promise#its so vulnerable its so visceral its so beautiful#its tiring and messy and so scary and they will be cold and soaked and they will be scared of taking a bath even when they are safe#and whumper can hold them close and praise them for taking it and they can drag them right back after or they can lift them and drop them in#the hand tangled in their hair the wrists held somewhere out of the way the chest shoved into the edge of the tub the choking gasping beggin#g crying whining sobbing wet sounds at the back of their throat#its just so incredibly delicious and we need more of it#the amount of drowning i see in whump is criminally low and i am here to change this
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