#vinny's whumptober

[sarahsmi13s]

Just a Little Guidance

whumptober day 6: forced to hurt someone

pairing: tim bradford x reader (oc last name: blake)

characters: tim bradford, y/n blake, zoe andersen, jackson west, john nolan, lucy chen, thane riggs (oc villain)

warnings: 18+ MDNI, language, blood, fighting, stabbing, mentions of SA, being held captive, forced to hurt someone, forced to hurt partner, crying, quitting, if i missed anything please please please let me know

word count: ~1.8k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace

also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

also also, i do want to apologize for getting this up late got distracted while writing it so i finished it later than i had hoped

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary:

You stood in front of Captain Andersen’s desk, hands shaking as you listened to her tell you about everything that would need to happen before you could return to duty. 

Tonguing your split lip, you shook your head. Tears gathered in your eyes as you looked at your trembling, still blood stained, hands as your shield and gun rested in them

How could they let you back to work after everything that happened? Tim was still in the hospital, you got to leave after just a few days. But what you saw, what you and Tim experienced over those two weeks… you couldn’t trust yourself.

“I-I’m sorry Captain… but I can’t,” you said softly, your bruised and busted hands curling around the items in your them.

She tilted her head, “I’m not sure I understand.” 

You sat your shield and gun on her desk, “I’m not coming back… I’m sorry… but I quit.”

Zoe nodded, giving you a sympathetic look as you avoided her eyes. “Is there anything I can do to change your mind?” You shook your head before she was even finished. “No, I’m sorry Captain… but I can’t. I’m quitting, I’ve made up my mind. I’m sorry.”

Without giving her a chance to reply, you turned on your heel and left.

You sat curled up in the hospital chair, just staring at Tim’s unconscious form laying there in the bed.

There were words stuck in your throat. It was like they were coming up sideways, choking you before coming up in broken fragments on your tongue.

What the hell could you say? Tim was laying in a hospital bed because of you. You had put him there. An apology just wouldn’t make that go away. Make what you did go away.

You sat in the uncomfortable chair, picking scabs and prodding at bruises as your mind replayed everything. Never giving you a chance to rest or forget what you did.

“I’m sorry, Tim… I’m so so sorry,” you sobbed, looking down at your blood covered hands. 

“It’s okay, baby,” Tim winced at the way your hands tried to patch him up from the wounds you had put there that day. “You’re doing this to protect yourself and for us to survive. I’m not mad.” 

You shook your head, “I should be stronger than this…” 

“Thane is a fucking psycho, do not put this blame on yourself,” he grunted as he sat up. “Hey, look at me.” You sniffled and looked up, “I’m hurting you, Tim. I shouldn’t hurt you, under any circumstance… even this. I should have let him–”“Don’t say that, don’t you dare say that.” 

“You were ready to take a bullet for me!”

“Because you don’t deserve to die!”“And you do?!”

You panted a little, “I shouldn’t be hurting you… I don’t want to hurt you.” He grabbed your hand, not caring about his own blood slicking up his hand. “I know that, and I can handle it. They’re coming, I know they are. I can hold out until then.” 

“But what if I can’t?”

After that conversation it was eerie silence as you both tried to sleep.

It was hard for you to fall asleep. The copper scent of Tim’s blood on your hands made you sick to your stomach . The substance was sticky and drying to your skin. Thane wasn’t allowing you to wash your hands, letting Tim’s blood dry on your hands in layers.

And when you woke up the next day it was your turn.

You were simply a punching bag. Though Thane would call it a ‘boxing match’. If you won, the next day you wouldn’t have to hurt Tim and you both got a decent meal with fresh water.

But you couldn’t win. 

You had gotten close the first few times. But Thane was an ex-Navy SEAL so he could take you down like it was nothing. And as time went on, you got weak. You didn’t have the energy to put up a decent fight and even give yourself hope. The only reason you still attempted was to keep Tim safe.

That night you sat on the floor with your head down and an arm clutching your side as your ribs ached. 

“I’m sorry,” you said quietly. Tim grunted as he turned to look at you, “Why are you sorry?” You sniffled, “I can’t win…” “You’re not supposed to win. He just likes to give you hope…” 

“I can’t keep doing this Timmy… hurting you, I can’t…” 

“If you don’t-”

“Yeah, I know. But I’m not going to kill you… I couldn’t live with myself if I did.” 

You didn’t give him a chance to respond and just got in your bed and tried to sleep.

The next morning, Thane woke you up with gentle caresses on your face.

“Time to wake up,” he said gently, pulling you up and to your feet. “C’mon we have a big day ahead of us.” 

You whimpered as he pulled you over to a table, gun pressed to your lower back. “Pick your first weapon.”

You shake your head, tears spilling over, “No.” 

Thane growled and pulled harshly on your hair, making you look up at him. “You pick or I do, I won’t tell you again.” The gun digs into your back, “And you won’t like what I pick.”

You gritted your teeth as he pulled your hair harder, “I’m done playing your game. Shoot me.”

“Y/N, it’s okay…” Tim said, but his words were breathy. “I-I can take it.” 

“You hear that? He can take it,” Thane smirked before kissing your forehead. “Pick up the knife.”

“I said, no.”

He growled before slamming your face down on the table.

Tim looked away, jaw clenched as you cried out a little. You don’t blame him, you’d look away too. 

This position hadn’t been unfamiliar. 

Often after those boxing matches, Thane would use your weak state to release other frustrations. 

So you just closed your eyes and braced yourself.

“Oh look at you,” he cooed, his hand rubbing your back. “Mmmm you’ve learned. But right now isn’t about us. It’s about you and Tim. So pick up the knife or I will fuck you as you look your boyfriend in the eyes. Pick. It. Up.”

“Pick up the knife, Y/N…”

“Okay! Okay…”

Thane smirked and pulled you back up to stand. “Good girl.”

Your hand shook as you wrapped your fingers around the blade’s handle. The thought of turning and plunging it into your capture’s stomach flashed in your mind but you knew better. You weren’t fast enough and his trigger finger was quick.

Eyes filling with tears, Thane guided you forward.

“Stab him.”

Your eyes widened and you turned your head to face him. “W-what?”

“You heard me, stab him.”

“That wasn’t-”

“Do it or I'll shoot him in the head.”

You closed your eyes, sobbing as your hands shook violently. “It’s okay Y/N. It’s gonna be okay,” Tim reassured, kissing the top of your head.

But you didn’t believe him.

When it was just cuts or burns, it was easier to believe that he would be okay. But you could see that he was weak. He was shaking from blood loss and he could barely keep his eyes open. His voice was tired and breathy so he desperately tried to put authority in it.

But it wasn’t working.

You shook your head, crying openly as you brought up the knife.

He gritted his teeth and braced himself as you found a spot on his torso and pushed the tip of the blade in.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you whispered tearfully, pulling the knife back out. 

You watch horrified as blood leaks out of the new wound and down his side. You had hurt him, again. It made you feel sick.

Suddenly, Thane’s right in your ear, his eyes on the bare half inch of blood on the blade.

“Oh, come on now. Don’t waste my time,” he growled. He wrapped his arms around you and put his hands on top of yours. 

“No, no please,” you begged through your tears, trying to fight him.

But your resistance was used in Thane’s favor as he used your combined force to plunge the knife into Tim’s stomach.

You gasped, feeling the sickening warm feeling of fresh blood coating your hands.

Tim couldn't hold back his shout of agony, gritting his teeth as tears came to his eyes. 

Thane leaned in, laughing in your ear as you sobbed, “Look at that, seems like all you needed was just a little guidance.” 

You covered your mouth, smearing blood on your face as your eyes stayed unmoving from the knife handle. You could have collapsed to the floor in a sobbing heap if Thane hadn’t had arms around you.

“Ooooh not so fast there Y/N. One’s not going to cut it, sweetheart. Take it out and do it again.”

When you hesitated, Thane took your hands and wrapped them around the handle, “Take it-”

“LAPD DROP YOUR WEAPON AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR.”

You sobbed in relief as Thane turned to who you recognized to be John Nolan, Bishop’s rookie.

“Put your weapon down and kick it over to me.” 

Thane followed his instructions, smart enough to know that he was cornered. 

You held Tim’s face, “It’s gonna be okay baby. They’re here, just like you said they would be.”

Tim had been unconscious when you said that, finally succumbing to the pain.

“Officer Blake?”

You jumped at the call of your name, being pulled from your memories as you looked up to see the three rookies. Jackson was the one to address you.

“You don’t have to call me that anymore Officer West…”

He nodded and swallowed, “Right we’re out of uni-”

“No, I quit… I’m not an officer anymore.”

The rookies’ eyes widened and they shared a look when your eyes moved to Tim.

“But you’re great at your-” 

You cut John off, bitterness in your tone, “If I was good at my job he wouldn’t be in this bed…”

You took a breath, finally letting yourself touch him and grabbing Tim’s hand. “I should have been stronger…”

“Thane’s a psychopath, who knows what situation we would be in had you held out longer,” Lucy tried, watching your glass eyes as they looked over Tim. “That doesn’t make you a bad cop…”

“I don’t trust myself… and being a good team requires trust. I can’t go back out onto the street if I do not trust myself, that’s how people get hurt.”

You shook your head, letting it fall between your shoulders. “It took just a little guidance and I plunged a knife into the man I love…”

taglist: @bradleybeachbabe @mayhemmanaged @kmc1989 @lovinglyeternal @horseshoegirl @cassiemitchell @fanboyswhore9 @nightowlalltheway @86laura11 @els-marvelvsp @valmare @startrekfangirl2233

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

i can not stress this enough, but whumptober can have some very serious and heavy topics and i want to make sure i am doing my part as an author to prepare my readers for what they are about to experience and that includes not only warnings above but my taglists as well

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

[tothearkangel]

”He told me what you did, you snake fuck.” - Evan Myers

So I thought that since everybody is in a time loop it would make since that they are always going to lose from the very beginning and one of the things that you notice from their interaction is the fact that Evan is so delirious and has just essentially given up because he’s been killing his friends without being in control and has had his mind shattered basically. And then having to find out from the guy that has been toying with you since the beginning of the channel telling you that your best friend who you’ve been having to rely on was literally the reason that they were being watched with cameras. That is something that would absolutely break a person, imagine having thought that the very thing in your mind was the reason that you were paranoid for all that time, but instead it was your friend manipulating the entire thing and being saved for last. But, also it just makes me sad at how much Evan has on his plate and then having to realize that from the very beginning Vinnie had basically set everyone up for failure. sorry really long thing but yeah that’s my thing enjoy and I feel like the image is crappy but it gets its point across I think. Also the scars are from like if we’re to go by Antler Graves depiction of Habit then this would be the result since there is no way that those wounds would be able to heal once the teeth have gone back in.

[99point9percentwhump]

Whumptober 2023 day 24 - Neglect

Wiseguy S3E21

[withahappyrefrain]

I also want to shout out @sarahsmi13s ! Vinny is such a warm, kind sweet soul. She's got a bomb sense of humor and an even more gut wrenching grip on emotions in her fics. Her whumptober entries are proof. I read four of them today and ow!

Nova, you are introducing me to so many people I need to check out!!! I love this about positivity night!!

[grizzledyoungimpact]

Kay's Whumptober Day #20

Prompt #20: People don't change people. Time does./Found Family Pairing: Evil Uno/Stu Grayson Mentions Of: The Dark Order, The Righteous, Hangman Page Verse: Main

Looking across the ring at the man he loved, Evil Uno wasn't sure that he even recognized him anymore. Any of the warmth, any of the kindness, that had once purveyed his Stu's eyes when they looked at one another was replaced by a coldness and cruelty. How could this happen? Who exactly was to blame for the fact that they now stood across from each other?

In the long run, as much as he loved the opportunity, the trouble had started as soon as they let Hangman Page into their ranks.

The Dark Order had still been reeling from a loss too unspeakable to name when they had decided to let Adam into their group. For a while, everything had been fine. They were a large family, but they were a family none-the-less. They were a family who banded together for the cause that was leading Adam Page to the championship. It had all seemed okay. After all, once Adam was champion then they could all focus on their own goals again. What was family for it not supporting each others dreams?

Colt Cabana was the first to leave their little family, though Uno wouldn't exactly say it had been on his own free will. The arrival of a certain punk to AEW had driven Colt away, no matter how much the fact was denied. Not even a month later, Stu had come to Uno and let him know that he would be leaving soon as well.

Uno hadn't really been surprised when Stu had broken the news to him. An outgoing and warm as Uno had always been, even in his early career, Stu was his anti-thesis. Stu preferred to be on his own, living off the land and by his own accord. It was a gentle difference between the tow, but it was one Uno had always known would one day separate them. So Stu had decided to stay back and look after the gym the duo ran together, The Keep, and Uno would go on the road as the somewhat single braincell of the Dark Order.

Life had only gotten worse after that.

Two more members of the team had left and while Uno trip to keep the others happy, it wasn't easy. Alarick had moved on to greener pastures to make an impact. Anna Jay had decided that she needed to show her appreciation for an industry legend. The issue had been the betrayal at the hands of Preston Vance. It hurt, God it hurt, but Uno kept moving for John and Alex. For Negative One. He was sick of losing people that he cared about from his family, but he had to keep going for them.

And then, like a ray of hope, Stu had come to Uno's aid. He had returned to AEW to defend his friends. Everything felt right again, be it being able to stand shoulder-to-shoulder in the ring again or just the sound of Stu's snores in an otherwise quiet hotel room. He felt whole again, even as he and the rest of the Order were shipped off to Ring of Honor. It was like nothing had changed except for the venue.

Or, at least, Uno hadn't picked up on anything changing. Not until the obvious answer now stared at him from across the ring.

The Righteous, the team of Vinny Marseglia and Duthc, had started trying to recruit Stu to their side. Every time Uno caught a conversation, he tried to end it. While Marseglia and Dutch appealed to the side of Stu that yearned for a life free of judgment, Uno hadn't realized that they had made another appeal. Vinny had pointed to the way Uno and Stu had started their careers, as violent fighters and masters of their own fates, to the jokes they played now. "People don't change people, man. Time does." Uno had heard Vinny whisper to his partner once.

Uno hadn't believed Stu would let time change him, but maybe in the long run, Uno reflected that time had changed himself more.

[vinnys-recordcollection]

|| The Record Player ||

hey lovelies!! if you couldn't tell this is my library blog! it won't be too different from my regular blog (@sarahsmi13s) but this will only contain my writings and moodboards -- which are all reblogged from my main. i will still be doing taglists for now, especially for series, but this is here for any of y'all that want to read just about anything i post -- just follow and turn on notifications!

-> guidelines (this is my whole masterlist but it will be broken down better below)

-> vinny's moodboard multiverse

-> Jake 'Hangman' Seresin -> Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw -> Javy 'Coyote' Machado -> Robert 'B.O.B' Floyd -> Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace -> Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia -> Reuben 'Payback' Fitch -> Dagger Squad -> Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell -> Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson -> Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky -> Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw

-> Rhett Abbott

-> Whumptober 2023/2024 -> Walt 'Finn' Finnegan -> Charlie Young

[promare-ao3feed]

Day Twenty-Nine

Day Twenty-Nine Link to fic: https://ift.tt/R627riI by LasEstrellasdelPurgatorio Prompt: "Please, open your eyes." Words: 1731, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 29 of Whumptober Collection, 2023 Fandoms: Promare (2019) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen Characters: Varys Truss, Remi Puguna, Aina Ardebit, Ignis Ex, Lucia Fex, Galo Thymos, Lio Fotia, Vinny (Promare) Relationships: Varys Truss & Burning Rescue Members Additional Tags: Angst, Coma, Major Character Injury, Talking To Comatose People, Guilt, Coping, Team as Family, Angst with a Happy Ending via AO3 works tagged 'Promare (2019)' https://ift.tt/hEJAqFl October 30, 2023 at 06:06AM

[sarahsmi13s]

Mama's Don't Get Sick Days

whumptober day 18: fever / vomiting / warm soup

pairing: mickey 'fanboy' garcia x reader

characters: mickey garcia, wife!reader, genevieve garcia, jayda garcia, sebastian garcia

warnings: 18+ MDNI, language, vomiting, mickey is a dad, parenting while sick, fever, neglecting health, please let me know if I missed any

word count: ~ 2.1k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace

also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: when your a spouse and a parent, sometimes you forget that you can be taken care of as well

You sighed as you sat on the couch. Your head was pounding and your stomach was churning with the whole lot of nothing that was in it.

Running around all morning with three kids, two of them under the age of 5 and one of them was just learning how to walk, was an absolute nightmare with how you were feeling.

Mickey had woken you up with a forehead kiss before going off to work and then your 6 and 4 year old woke you up a little while later with Genevieve crying because she was gonna be late for school.

So, with a splitting headache and sinus pressure, you got her dressed and fed her breakfast before getting all of your kids in the car and taking her to school.

The rest of the day was a blur of chasing Jayda and keeping her occupied and keeping little Sebastian out of things and things out of his mouth. 

Jayda was 4 and pretty good at staying out of trouble, but she was still young and had an independent head on her shoulders – so asking for help was never really an option so you had to make sure she wasn’t climbing on things and getting stuck on the closet's top shelf.

Sebastian was 1 and just learning how to walk. So he was getting into anything he reached and if it was on the floor or the table it most likely was going in his mouth.

So, between keeping Jayda on the ground, Sebastian from eating something he shouldn’t, and you not puking every time you bent over or changed a diaper and going through tissues like you were watching the saddest scene 100 times, you were exhausted. 

But you had to stay awake even if those two were napping, because you had to pick up Gen from school on time.

“Mama?” Gen asked from her bar stool as you make her after school snack of Goldfish, and her dried mangos that you forgot to pack that morning, and turkey cheese rolls. 

You glanced over your shoulder, “What’s up Vieve?” “Are you feeling okay? You look like I feel when I’m feeling icky,” she said, sounding so sweet as she rested her head on the counter. “And I was almost late for school, you always have me up…” “I’m okay baby, just a little frazzled today,” you said before coughing into your arm.

Sniffling, you turned and put the paper plate in front of her, “I’m really sorry about this morning, I should’ve gotten up sooner.” Genevieve took a bite of her turkey cheese roll, “It’s okay I got to school on time.”

You gave her a gentle smile before kissing her head, “Did you have a good day?” She nodded, “I did, Jacie and I played…” You nodded along with her as she proceeded to tell you about her day, listening to her as you took some Cutie slices off of Jayda’s plate and Cheerios off of Sebastian’s tray.

At some point while she was talking you went to check her lunch box to see what she hadn’t eaten. 

But as you opened it you were hit with a pungent reminder of what she had for lunch. Tuna and crackers, something her grandmother introduced her to during the last visit.

The smell churned your stomach that last time and anything you managed to actually eat was crawling up your throat.

Covering your mouth, you managed to make it to the downstairs bathroom before falling to your knees and puking in the toilet.

You rested your head on your arm, groaning miserably as you flushed the toilet before regaining your bearings and standing up.

With your head pounding, you wash your hands and swish your mouthwash before going back to the kitchen.  “Hey, Jay, Vieve?” You said softly as you got Sebastian out of his high chair. “Yes Mama?” “I’m gonna go sit on the couch, Bash is gonna be in his playpen. Finish your snacks and then you can play okay?”

They both nodded before Genevieve stopped you with a hand on your arm as you walked by, “Are you not feeling well?” You sighed, “No, baby, I’m a little under the weather but don’t you worry, I’m gonna be okay.”

You gave her a gentle smile before going to the living room and putting Sebastian in his playpen. You sighed as you sat down. “Oh lordy… just a few more hours and he’ll be home and I can rest.” 

As you curl up under a blanket and move the trash can closer to the couch, you rest your cold hands on your face to try and relieve the pressure in your nose. 

You can make out Jayda and Genevieve arguing in the kitchen. “I can take the Sprite to Mama!” “Jay, you can’t reach them in the fridge! Get the crackers!” “I don’t wanna!”

“Girls! Please don’t yell,” you groaned a little from your spot on the couch. “Sorry Mama!”

You sighed and rubbed your head before you heard more loud noises coming from the kitchen and then a little, “Oopsie.”

“What happened?” 

“Jayda tried to get a can of Sprite and dropped them…” 

Taking a sharp inhale, you look up at the ceiling and let it out before looking at Sebastian, “I’ll be right back Bash. Mama has a mess to clean.” “No! I gots it, Mama! I’ll get a towel,” Jayda said as she ran to the laundry room.

“Okay,” you sighed, at this point it was useless to try and argue. You were tired, you could mop it up later.

“Here Mama, I got you some water,” Genevieve said softly as she brought you a cup. It was over flowing, and you were sure there was a trail of water behind her. But the thought was sweet. “Thank you baby.”

You sipped the water in your glass before sitting it down and leaning back.

“Mama! I brought you crackers!” Jayda shouted, running over with a sleeve of crackers. 

You smiled a little, “Thank you Jay.” You reached for them but she held out a hand, “No, I’ll open it!” “Jayda, don’t yell! Mama has a headache!” “Vieve, you’re yelling,” you said gently. “Sorry Mama.” 

You looked back to Jayda to see her struggling before ripping it open and spilling crackers on the carpet. “Oops…” She looked up at you and handed you what was left, “Here you go.” “Thank you hun.”

“Why don’t you both go play in your room, Gen. Daddy will be home soon and you can go outside.”

They nodded before running up the stairs. 

You sighed and held your head in your hands before sliding to the floor and picking up the crackers and throwing them away. 

But your position change made blood rush to your head and triggered your gag reflex. “Shit,” you muttered before gripping the edges of the trash can and just waiting for it. Apparently it was taking its time until you sat up because it all rushed up at once when you did.

Groaning into the trash can, you spat into it before getting up and going back into the bathroom to wash your mouth out again.

You came back into the living room to hear Sebastian crying. 

“Oh Bash, Mama left you alone didn’t she. I’m sorry,” you said, picking him up and shushing him gently. “Oh I know baby boy, I’m sorry.” 

It took you about 20 minutes of that before he fell asleep in your arms and you laid him down in his playpen. 

“There you go, baby.” You sighed and laid down on the couch. “Just an hour, and Mickey will be home…” You cuddled up with a blanket and turned the TV on, “Just need to relax for a little bit.”

Mickey smiled as he walked in, “Hey, guess who’s home?” “Shhhh, Daddy, Mama’s sleeping,” Genevieve hissed from her spot on the carpet. 

“Oh,” he winced. “Sorry sorry.” 

He put his bag down gently before walking in, seeing tissues on nearly every surface from where you had blown your nose while you chased kids around the house. And then when he got to the living room he noticed the trash can next to the couch.

The girls were coloring in the living room, having come down to watch TV just before Mickey got home, and Sebastian was still napping.

He sighed and went over to you, glancing to see the vomit in the trash can. He knelt down, feeling the saltines break under his weight. 

“Hey, baby?” Mickey gently shook your shoulder, putting the inside of his wrist to your forehead, “Shit… you’re burning up.” He patted your face, “Hey honey.” 

You groaned a little as your eyes fluttered open, “Hey, Mick…”

“How long have you been like this?” 

“What do you mean?” 

He arched his brow, “Um, you’re cuddled up on the couch burning up and sweating like I do on the tarmac? Honey, have you felt icky all day?” He censored himself, remembering little ears were in ear shot. 

“I um,” you said sniffling as you sat up. Mickey watched you close your eyes and groan as you steadied yourself and he frowned. “Sweetheart…” “I’m okay Mick, just a little-” 

Your sentence got interrupted by a sudden rush of sick. “Trash can…” Mickey didn’t even question it and held the trash can up, holding your hair back with his free hand.

“I got you baby, I got ya.” 

“Daddy? Is Mama okay?” Jayda asked, a little worry in her voice. “Yeah, Mama’s gonna be okay. She’s just not feeling well, but she’s okay.” Jayda nodded and quietly went back to coloring. 

Once you’re done throwing up, Mickey helps you stand. “Girls, Mama and I will be right back, be good okay?” “Yes Daddy,” they both said as they continued to color.

Mickey helped you to the bathroom and sat you on the closed toilet as he looked for the thermometer. “Have you felt bad all day?” You opened your mouth but he spoke again. “And don’t lie to me.”

You sighed and nodded as he held the thermometer up and put it in your mouth.

“You’ve felt shitty all day?” You nodded again as the thermometer beeped and he took it out to look at it. “101.3, fuck, Honey. Why didn’t you call me? I would have come home. Mav would under-”

“That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want to take you away from work.” “Screw work, you’re sick and you took care of three kids by yourself. Honey, you’re exhausted and you won’t get better if you don’t let yourself rest.”

You shook your head before groaning a little at the headache the action gave you, “Miguel, you can’t-” You blinked as you stopped mid sentence, your lips trembling as you felt sick again. Covering your mouth, you moved to the floor and lifted the lid to throw up in the toilet.

Mickey frowned, feeling awful for not being here today and leaving you to deal with the kids while you miserable. He squatted down and grabbed a ponytail holder, tying your hair back for you, “I’m calling Cyclone and Mav, I’m not going in tomorrow so I can take care of you and the kids.”

“I can’t ask you to do that… You love your job.”

He looked up at you, almost angry, “Not as much as I love you. And you’re not asking, that’s the reason I’m telling you that I’m not going in.”

You stayed quiet and just shook your head, trying not to get sick again, “I need to make dinner…” He shook his head right back, “You’re not serious, you’re actively trying not to throw up again. Y/N, you need to go lay down with a cold rag on your head. I’ll fix dinner for me and the kids and you get soup.”

You perked up a little, sitting up and looking at him, “Your abuela’s soup?” 

He smiled and cupped your cheek, “If that’s what you want then that’s what I’ll make. But only if you take a break and let me baby you until you're better.” “But the kids-” “What did I say?” 

You sighed, “Okay, okay fine.” 

“Alright now, let’s get you on the couch and I will get any mess left by our girls.”

You nodded and let him take you back to the couch before he got you a cool, damp rag.

“There you go Honey,” he said, laying it across your forehead. “Thank you Mickey. I love you.” “I love you too.” 

You smiled at him, “Go start dinner so I can have abuela’s soup, go go.” He chuckled, “Alright, alright.” He kissed the top of your head before going to the kitchen.

“Hey! Who spilled Sprite all over the floor?”

taglist: @bradleybeachbabe @mayhemmanaged @kmc1989 @lovinglyeternal @horseshoegirl @cassiemitchell @fanboyswhore9 @nightowlalltheway @86laura11 @els-marvelvsp @valmare @startrekfangirl2233

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

i can not stress this enough, but whumptober can have some very serious and heavy topics and i want to make sure i am doing my part as an author to prepare my readers for what they are about to experience and that includes not only warnings above but my taglists as well

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

[sarahsmi13s]

Don't Take The Girl

whumptober day 29: bargainning

pairing: tom 'iceman' kazansky x wife!reader

characters: tom kazansky, y/n kazansky, tommy kazansky, ron kerner, carole and bradley bradshaw

warnings: 18+ MDNI, language, pregnancy, childbirth, blood, bargainning with God, praying, traumatic birth, crying, medical inaccuracies, please let me know if I missed any

word count: ~2.3k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace

also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

this is inspired by the song Don't Take the Girl by Tim McGraw

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: tom was so excited to welcome his daughter into the world... but he had no idea that he might have to say goodbye on the same day

Beep beep beep

Ice chuckled as the student flying behind him tried to get a missile lock on him. 

Silver, the student on his tail, was rushing the hop because he was trying to beat Cobalt and prove to everyone that his call sign was not indicative of how he performs.

It reminded him of how Maverick flew when they were students in Top Gun. “Come on Silver, don’t be reckless. That’s not how you win,” Ice said, his voice cool and even as he rolled out of the way.

“You wanna win, you do it right. It’s how I-”

“Range control to Iceman.”

“Iceman to range control, everything alright?”

“Yo,” Slider’s voice broke through then. “Ice, hospital just called. Y/N’s gone into labor.” 

Tom nearly stopped at his friend’s words, slowing down as he processed it. “What?”

“Yeah, your baby girl is coming now, we gotta go. Tommy’s at a friend's house. We gotta go pick him up,” Ron said quickly, trying to convey his urgency.

Ice could only nod before ringing filled his cabin. Missile lock. 

“Alright, I’m down. Lesson over. I’ll lead the way back to base,” Ice said, not caring that he lost because he was distracted. You were in labor, and he needed to be there.

After landing and rushing out of his plane, Tom didn’t even bother changing out of his flight suit before leaving to go get your son from his friend’s house and going to the base hospital with Ron at his side.

“Why are we going to the hospital, Daddy?” Tommy, your six year old son, asked from his carseat.

Tom looked over his shoulder at him before looking back at the road, “You know how we’ve been waiting on your baby sister to get here?” Tommy nodded. “Well, she’s on her way and we’re meeting Mama at the hospital to get her.” 

Tommy smiled and he bounced a little in his seat, “I’m gonna be a big brother!” Ron chuckled, “Yeah little man, you’re gonna be a big brother. The best big brother I bet.” He nodded, “I’m gonna try!”

Ice smiled as he finally pulled into the hospital parking lot.

Your son was so excited that he unbuckled himself and nearly bolted out of the car. “Thomas Jordan, do not just run off like that. I get that you’re excited, trust me I am too. But Aunt Carole and I can’t chase you around, okay?” Tom said, being firm but not mean.

Tommy stopped and ran back to him, grabbing his hand, “Yes sir.” Ice gave him a soft smile before picking him up, “Alright let’s go.” 

They walked in and went straight to labor and delivery, knowing the way after the last few moments of Braxton Hicks contractions. 

He spotted Carole in the waiting room first, Bradley was next to her playing on his Gameboy next to her. “Carole!” Her head jerked up to see him, “Tom, thank goodness you’re here. Y/N would have my head if you missed this.”

Tom nodded and chuckled, “Oh I know, but it’s mine she’ll want. Will you watch Slider and Tommy for me? I’ll come get you when we can have visitors.” Carole smiled as he sat Tommy down and she gave him a snack, “Yes, now go or you’re gonna miss it.” 

“Hey wait, why do I need a babysitter?” Ron asked as Ice went over to the desk. “Ronnie, don’t make me answer that. You want some snacks?” Carole asked, pulling out another zip-lock bag. “Oooh yes!” 

Tom rolled his eyes fondly as he walked up the nurse’s station.

“I’m Captain Thomas Kazansky, my wife is here. She would have come in a little bit ago?” The nurse looked at her sheet, “Y/N?” “Yes, yes that’s her.” She smiled at him, “Room 304, I can lead you to it.” He patted the counter top, “Thank you.” He followed the nurse down the hall and to the room.

When they got there the nurse knocked before stepping in, “The father is here.”

“Tom?” He heard your tired voice come from the bed before another contraction ripped through you and you had to push again. He smiled, “Yeah yeah I’m here, Sweet-” 

“I’m sorry Captain, you have to leave. You can’t be here,” the doctor said out of nowhere.

“What?” You and Tom said at the same time as you both looked at the doctor.

You whimpered a little, “W-Why?” The doctor shook his head, “Just get him out of here, we’ll come get him.” 

The nurse only nodded and tried to guide Tom back out. 

“No, no, please, I need him in here. Please why-” You got cut off by the next contraction and the nurse managed to get him out.

Tom looked at the nurse, “What is going on? Why can’t I be in there with her?” The nurse sighed a little and just shook her head, “I’m not sure, but we have to listen to the doctor. Let's go to the waiting room, he’ll be out to get you when it’s time.”

All he can do is nod as tears hit his eyes. Something wasn’t right, he had a gut feeling. But he just had to follow orders.

It felt like a damn near eternity as Tom paced the floor. 

He had slid his aviators back on to hide the redness caused by his tears. He didn’t need Tommy seeing his normally calm father freaking out and crying. He didn’t want to worry him either, because he could be wrong. Everything could be just fine and it’s just his adrenaline from being in the air transferring to this moment. 

“Captain Kazansky?” 

Tom’s head whipped over and he looked at the doctor. “Yes?” He nodded down the hall, “May I speak with you? Privately?” Ice didn’t hesitate and followed him down back to the room they had you in.

“Are-are they okay? Why couldn’t I be in there?” Tom asked the doctor immediately as he took his sunglasses off.

“Your baby is fine, Captain. It was scary for a moment, but your baby girl is healthy,” he said, his hands in his coat pockets. 

If that was supposed to dampen Ice’s anxiety, it didn’t. It actually made it worse.

Tom huffed a little and gestured to the door, “My wife, how’s my wife? Why couldn’t I go in there?” 

The doctor sighed, “Captain, your wife… she lost a lot of blood. It was touch and go after the birth. We managed to get the bleeding stopped but we can’t be certain she’ll pull through.” Tom was silent as his heartbeat pounded in his ears. “I think it’s best if you go home, Captain…” 

“Go home? Go home?! How can I go home with my son while his mother lies in a hospital bed fighting for her life? What am I supposed to tell him? What do you say to a six year old that gained and lost someone on the same day?!”

The doctor took a deep breath, remaining calm as the normally collected blond shouted at him, “I understand that you’re angry and that you’re upset. But the only thing we can do now is wait.”

“Then let me wait with her. I won’t let her be alone. She shouldn’t be alone. Please… please let me be with her.” 

He thought about it, looking between the pilot and the room where you lay unconscious on the bed. He nodded, “Alright, you can stay.” “Thank you doc.” 

The doctor moved out of the way and opened the door. “Do you want them back here now or?” Tom shook his head, “No, not yet… I just.. I need a minute.” 

Tom walked in and the doctor shut the door to give him some privacy.

He looked at you on the bed, swallowing as his throat dried up. He knew what he walked in on wasn’t going to be pretty but the fact that it was you hooked up to wires and machines, it was heartbreaking. 

He’d seen colleagues and friends in this position, but to see you, his wife and mother of his children, in this position… it was earth shattering.

“Oh Sweetheart…” Tom whispered hoarsely as he walked over and held your hand. 

Your hand was clammy, nothing like the soft warmth he was used to and it’s what finally sent him to the floor.

Tom hit his knees, his forehead resting on your hand as he prayed.

“God… please, I can’t.. I can’t lose her. Please just... take the breath you gave me. Take the heart from my chest. Put me in her place. That’s how it’s supposed to be. That’s how it’s always supposed to happen. Me first. I’m the one with the dangerous job. Don’t take her, please… don’t take her from me…” 

He sobbed, letting out all of his emotions right there. His tears were wetting your hand and soaking into the blanket. 

Tom was terrified, he usually was good in stressful situations. But right now? This was a whole new kind of stress. 

He was sitting here begging to trade his life for yours. To die so you could live. And he meant every word.

Tom had never said anything without meaning it. Even in arguments he tried his damnedest to be honest and strategic with his words. He thought carefully about his words because he knew the impact of them. 

So his prayer was genuine. He would gladly die so you could live, so his kids could have a mother. He would trade places in a heartbeat.

Because you deserved to live.

Tom gave himself enough time to calm down before leaving to go get Tommy. He wanted your son to get a chance to see you in case anything happened. Was letting him see you like this the best idea? Probably not. But he would regret it if he never let Tommy talk to you.

So, after he collected himself he let a nurse know that it was okay to bring them to the room.

Carole walked in first, Ron and Tommy behind her and Bradley behind them.

“H-How is she?” Carole asked, a little fear in her voice. “She’s um… She’s resting.” “What about the little one?” Ron asked as he put Tommy down. Ice wiped his mouth, “They’re doing check ups and everything, making sure she’s alright.” 

“Daddy?” Tommy whispered as he hugged his father’s leg. “Is Mama okay?” 

Ice sniffled a little, “She’s just resting right now Tommy. I’m sure she can hear you though, do you want to say something to her?” Tommy nodded, “Yes please.”

Tommy walked over and held your hand, “Hi Mama. Daddy said you were sleeping but that you could hear me. I wanted to tell you I love you. I hope you’re having good dreams.”

Ice smiled at his son as he came back over and clung to his leg again. “Are we going home?” Tom sighed and squatted down, “I’m gonna stay with Mama and baby Whitney, you’re gonna stay with Uncle Sli for a little bit okay?” Tommy nodded before hugging his dad, “Okay Daddy, I love you. Can we come in tomorrow?” 

He nodded, “Maybe, we’ll have to see okay? I love you too.” He kissed his forehead and Ron gave him a quick hug before they left. 

Carole sniffled as she looked at you and walked over to hold your hand. 

“Is she gonna pull through?” 

Tom sighed and walked over, “They don’t know…” Carole nodded, “I think she will. She’s a fighter. Always has been. And she wouldn’t leave you and those babies behind, not if she has a choice.” 

She wiped her eyes a little before leaning over to kiss your forehead, “We’ll come by tomorrow okay?”

Carole turned back to Tom, “Any updates, this is where we’re staying. Don’t hesitate to call.” He took the piece of paper, “Thank you Carole.” “Of course,” she said with a gentle smile before hugging him. “Bradley, c’mon, let’s get out of Tom’s hair.” 

Bradley nodded and gave Tom a quick hug, “Bye Uncle Ice.” “Bye kiddo.”

They left and Tom turned back to you. “It’s just us sweetheart.” 

He walks over and sits down, threading his fingers through yours. “I don’t really know if you can hear me right now… but I’m gonna talk to you like you can…”

Tom sat there for hours talking to you. Whatever it was, whether it be what happened at work to reminiscing about the past, he talked about it.

He just kept talking. He knew that if he stopped he wouldn’t stop thinking about what might happen. He had to keep his mind busy.

At some point, they brought Whitney in. Everything was okay and she was in good health so she could be in the room.

Tom smiled and walked around with her as he talked to her, rambling on about her older brother, her aunts and uncles. He talked about you and how much you loved her even though you couldn’t tell her right now.

He eventually put her back in the bassinet before sitting by your bed again and holding your hand.

“I���ve been listening to that damn heart monitor for hours, Sweetheart. If I wake up and I don’t hear it…” His own words choked him up. He cleared his throat. “I know, I know… don’t think about it ‘if’s. But Sweetheart, I need you to wake up… please I can’t do this without you.”

Sniffling, he clasped his hands together one last time, your hand gently trapped in the middle. “Please… don’t take her from me… please.” 

He wiped his eyes before laying his head on your thigh gently, letting the rhythmic beat of your monitor lure him to sleep. 

Beep… Beep… Beep…

taglist: @bradleybeachbabe @mamachasesmayhem @kmc1989 @lovinglyeternal @horseshoegirl @hangmansgbaby @fanboyswhore9 @nightowlalltheway @86laura11 @els-marvelvsp @valmare @startrekfangirl2233 @malindacath @nyx2021 @chaosofmanyfandoms

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

i can not stress this enough, but whumptober can have some very serious and heavy topics and i want to make sure i am doing my part as an author to prepare my readers for what they are about to experience and that includes not only warnings above but my taglists as well

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

[sarahsmi13s]

A Sibling's Promise

whumptober day 12: character death

pairing: peter parker x older sister!reader

characters: peter parker, sister!reader, happy hogan, mj, ned, the avengers, may, mysterio

warnings: 18+ MDNI, language, canon events in the mcu, blood, crying, parental death, sibling death, character death, very time jumpy, let me know if i missed any!

word count: ~3.3k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace

also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

this is remastered from my wattpad, so i have permission. this is under the title "multiverse pt 1"

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: a sibling's promise is one that can stand the test of time. it's a promise that can be fulfilled at any moment, even in death

It was dark and it was hot. You had a hand clamped over your mouth to muffle your heavy breathing. "Come on! Where are you?" Your eyes widened, he was close. "I'm gonna find you." 

He was right there.

Suddenly light flooded your vision. "No! I've been caught by the mighty Iron Man!" You dramatically flopped out of the closet door onto the floor. Peter laughed and placed his feet on either side of your torso. 

You laughed, sitting up to catch the 8 year-old in your arms. "No, now I've been caught," he pulled off his plastic Iron Man mask. "Yes you have, and now I'm gonna use your weakness against you!" "Iron Man has no- AHHH!" You started to tickle him. He became deadweight in your arms, screaming and laughing. You began to laugh too.

He started to fall to the floor. You immediately stopped tickling him and managed to catch his head before it hit the floor. 

You both slowly ceased your laughter, panting a little. "Thanks for playing Iron Man with me, Y/N." Peter hugged you. "Of course, Petey." "Thanks for protecting my head too." You smiled, "I'll always protect you, Peter." You hugged him a little tighter before getting up off the floor.

You brushed off your pants and sighed. "Pete, why don't you go clean up? I'll meet you in the kitchen iiinnn 10 minutes?" "Make it 8." You shrugged, "8 it is." 

Peter rushed to put his toys away and wash his hands. You went to get ready for work.

8 minutes passed and you walked into the kitchen, Peter just finishing up washing his hands. 

He turned, frowning when he saw you in your uniform. "You have to work today?" You nodded, "Yeah, I'm sorry Peter. I got a call, they need me to fill in." "I thought we were gonna play video games and build Legos?" 

You ran your hand through his wavy hair, "How about when I get home, we have a sleepover?" "Can we play video games?" You nodded, "All the games you want." "Even the scary ones?" You winced, "I don-" He gave you the puppy eyes. "Pete- *sigh* I'll think about it." "I'll take it," he hugged you. You laughed and rubbed his back.

"I'm home!" 

"In the kitchen, May!" 

She rushed in, "Hey, you should probably get going, don't want you to be late." You nodded, squeezing Peter's shoulder before you let go. "Okay, I'll be back around 7." 

You walked by Aunt May and she handed you a jacket, "It's supposed to rain. Be careful, and the customer is not always right!" You laughed as you went out the door, shrugging the windbreaker onto your shoulders.

As you move to close the door you turn to Peter. He waved, smiling, "Hi, Y/N." You smile and wave to him, "Hi, Peter."

(SM:Homecoming)

You burst into Peter's room. 

"You're Spider-Man!?" 

Peter screamed and fell out of his chair, "Shhh! Keep your voice down!" He ran up to you, shushing you. 

"You're Spider-Man?!" You whisper yelled as you closed his door. "How did you find out?" "You're not the best at keeping secrets, Pete." He scoffed, offended, "What? I am great at keeping secrets." "Really? You sure? Cause I remember when I got my first boyfriend, and told you not to tell May." 

"And I didn't!" He defended. "You so did! The day after I told you May immediately gave me the safe-sex talk." Peter shrugged, "Everyone needs to hear that-" "I was 17!" "Well, in my defense, you shouldn't have told a 9 year-old to keep a secret." You rolled your eyes, "Whatever."

You sighed and put your hands on your hips, "How long?" 

"What?" 

"How long have you had powers?" 

"Since I was 14." "14!?" He flinched slightly at your volume. 

You sighed and ran a hand down your face, "Did you fight in the Avengers 'Civil War'?" He opened his mouth. "Don't lie to me." He sighed, "Yes, but I-" "Just be careful, please." 

He heard the desperation in your tone and he nodded, looking into your eyes, "Of course." "Because I couldn't live with myself if-" He grabbed your shoulders, "Hey-hey, I'm gonna be okay. I'll be careful, I promise." 

He ran his hand down the side of your head, attempting to comfort you, “I promise.” You nodded, grabbing his hand. "Just please, don't tell May. I don't want her to know just yet." You nodded again, "Of course. Secrets safe with me. What else are big sisters for?" He smiled and hugged you. "Thank you."

It was silent for a moment. "Now I wish I never turned down the internship after the Battle of New York."

(Avengers: Infinity War)

Peter looked at Tony, panic in his eyes. "Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good." 

"You're okay, you're okay." 

"I don't -- I don't know what's happening." Tony caught him as his legs dusted beneath him. "I don't wanna go Mr. Stark, please. I don't wanna go. I can't go. I can't leave her..." 

Tony laid him down, gripping his hand as he dusted away. "Tell her I'm sorry, please. I broke my promise..." "I'll tell her, kid." He looked at Tony, "I'm sorry..."

(between Infinity War and Endgame)

You bounced your leg as you waited for Peter to walk through your door, or Stephen to open a portal in your kitchen. Ned had immediately called you when Peter got off the bus and Wong called you about Stephen. You knew May was gone. You watched her dust in front of you.

Now you waited. Hope still filling your chest as you waited for a sign they both were okay.

When someone knocked at your door, you bolted to it. 

Only for you to open it and find Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff at your door. "Hey, can I help you?" Steve's frown was prominent and Nat's eyes were red. "Y/N Parker?" You nodded, crossing your arms as your nerves set in. "We need you to come with us, it's important." You didn't question it and left with them.

You ran into the Compound, Steve and Nat calling for you to wait. But you didn't hear them, your sole focus was running in there and finding Peter, alive.

"Peter?! Peter!" 

You ran into a room, seeing some Avengers you recognized and a few you didn't. "Uh, hi," you greeted. "Um, have you seen a 16/17 year-old boy? About this tall, brown hair, brown eyes, probably had a red and blue suit on." 

The group gave you a look of sympathy, but not an answer. "Please, I just need to know-" 

"Y/N?" 

You turned to see Tony on a hospital bed. "Tony!" You jogged up to him. "Where's Peter?"

Tony couldn't look you in the eyes. "Tony... Where's Peter?" "I'm so sorry, Y/N..."

You felt like throwing up. "No. No. Tony, this isn't funny. Don't lie to me." "I'm not lying Y/N." You shook your head, not bothering to hold your tears back. "He told me to tell you that he's sorry, for breaking his promise..." Your knees gave out, sending you straight to the floor.

You broke down, clutching your chest as you gasped for air. Nat was by your side, catching you when you tackled her, gripping at her clothes. She rubbed your back in comfort, "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." "I promised..."

She pulled you back to look at you, "Promised?" "I promised Mom and Dad that I would keep him safe. That I would protect him. I promised him that I would protect him. That's what big sisters do. They protect their little siblings."

Nat bit her lip and pulled you in again as you cried, sobbing for your little brother and praying this was just a sick dream.

(post Endgame)

Tony called you the moment he figured out time travel, saying that he's not sure if it will work but thought you deserved to know. You were equally grateful and terrified about it.

But now you were pacing your kitchen. Aunt May had called you from a random phone, so you knew it worked. May was on her way, you having moved since the Blip. Tony had a house built for you, feeling like he owed you in some way.

A knock broke your trance and you looked to the door. You hesitated, not being 100% sure it was Peter. Then you heard his voice, "Y/N, Ms. Potts said you would be here. It's-it's Peter."

You broke out into a tear-filled smile, rushing to the door.

You pulled the door open, revealing a very disheveled, but alive, Peter.

You smiled, embracing him. "Pete, oh God, you're back. You're back." He hugged you, crying into your shoulder, "Is-Is May-" You nodded, pulling back to hold his face, "She's on her way. She blipped too…"

Peter's face softened, "Oh, Y/N, I'm so sorry. You were alone, I'm-" You shook your head, "No, Pete, please don't apologize." You smiled, tears falling as you moved his dirty hair out of his face.

He rested his forehead on yours, "I broke my promise…" You shook your head, "It was a ridiculous promise…" He chuckled before falling to your shoulder in tears.

"Peter, what's wrong?"

"Tony's gone… He sacrificed himself to defeat Thanos." You gripped onto Peter, "Pete.. I'm so sorry."

You moved him to the couch, not caring if he was gonna get your couch dirty, he needed you.

(Far From Home)

Peter limped across the bridge, looking for a way to get up to Mysterio. 

"Peter?" He turned, the eyes on his mask widening in panic. 

"No, no, no. Y/N you have to leave, it's not safe." He did his best to hide his limp from you as you looked him over. "Peter," you looked around, taking in the damage. "Are you okay?" He nodded playing it off, despite knowing you can see right through it. 

"Please get out of here, I can't let him hurt you. Please go find Happy," he turned you and tried to push you away. You fought back, "No, Pete. I'm not leaving you." "Please you have to. I can't let you get hurt," he grabbed the sides of your head. "Please. I can't get you killed." You shook your head, "I'm not leaving." 

"Will you please stop being so damn stubborn!?" Peter threw his hands up. "I'm your big sister! I'm supposed to protect you! It's my job!" 

"Y/N... please, let me protect you this time. Let me be a good brother." You looked down, biting your lip with your hands on your hips, "You're the best brother." He hugged you. "Go get 'em, Pete." You couldn't see his smile but you knew it was there.

Mysterio had watched the whole interaction, smiling as he found another weakness for Peter. He smirked as you walked away and prepared for Peter's attack.

Once he had Peter preoccupied with fighting his drones, Mysterio managed to use his illusion tech to lure you back.

"Y/N! Y/N, help! Help me!" 

You wiped around to see Peter on the ground. You didn't hesitate to run back and help. 

"Peter!" You fell to your knees beside him, looking him over, "Where are you hurt?" "Everywhere, it hurts everywhere." 

Just then, you remembered what Peter told you over the phone, All of the attacks are fake. He uses some sort of illusion tech. And you remembered the look on his face, how he had to be sure it was you.

"Peter, did I date during the blip?" It furrows its brows, "Why would you ask me that right now?" "Please, just answer me." 

It sighed, "We've never talked about the blip." You gave him a tight smile, "You're right, I just had to be sure." You and Peter actually talked about the 5 years he had been gone quite often. Just to help him catch up on pop culture. 

This wasn't your Peter and you need to escape it.

Finally you decided to just run for it, "I think I hear medics, Peter. I'm gonna go get them. Just stay here, okay?" The illusion nodded, shifting while groaning in pain. You got up and sped walked towards the exit.

In your escape, you felt a shooting pain in your leg and you fell, "Shit!" "Too smart for your own good, Y/N," Beck sighed. You turned to see the drone. "You won't win," you spat through gritted teeth. "I already have," the drone shot you in the stomach before freeing some rubble above you, trapping you under broken concrete.

MJ ran onto the bridge, looking everywhere for Peter. 

She saw him coming towards her, mask off and limping. 

He looked up and saw her, "MJ." She dropped her mace, "Hey." 

They ran at each other and embraced, "Are you okay?" "I'm okay, are you okay?" Peter asked, hugging her tighter. "Yeah." 

"Everybody else okay?" "Everyone's okay." 

"What happened?" "The-the drones, they were following us. Th-then they just stopped," MJ didn't let go of Peter. "Was that you?" "Yeah." They pulled away from the hug. "Did you get him?" Peter looked down with a small nod, "Yeah."

MJ pointed at the mace, "Well, I-uh-brought that. In case you needed some help." They both chuckled dryly, "Thanks." 

"Anyway-uh- there's this sweaty guy, in the tower with us. I think he works with you, or something." Peter furrowed his brows, confused for a second before he realized she was talking about Happy. 

"He-he -um- gave me this," she held out the broken Black Dahlia necklace. Peter gasped, "No, no! Oh, MJ, oh I'm so sorry. I had this plan, this stupid plan, and I wrote it all down, and I was gonna buy you this, give it to you in Paris-" MJ kissed him, cutting off his rant.

He looked at her stunned and she gave him a small smile. "Aaand you kissed me. What?" "I don't have a lot of luck when it comes to getting close to people...um... so I lied. I wasn't just watching you because I thought you were Spider-Man." Peter chuckled, "That's great."

She looked down at the necklace, "Black Dahlia like-" "Like the murder," they said at the same time. "Yeah," Peter laughed a little before looking at the broken necklace, "I'm sorry it's broken." MJ looked down at it, playing with it, "I actually think I like it better broken." Peter smiled, nodding. 

When are you gonna tell her Pete? - Y/N have got a plan. - Plans are for nerds, Peter. Just tell her.

He smiled as he remembered your words, "I really like you." MJ smiled, "I really like you too." Peter smiled before they kissed, pulling away just to come back and kiss again.

When they pulled away again MJ left to go back to the class. "Hey, MJ?" She turned, "Yeah?" "When you see Y/N, tell her I'm okay, please." She nodded, "Of course." Peter nodded and turned to get out of his suit and meet up with the class.

MJ returned the mace to the tower before running to meet up with the class.

She slowed down when she saw the ambulances and the people getting looked over. 

"MJ, is Peter okay?" She looked at Ned and Happy, "Yeah. Yeah, he's okay. Have you seen Y/N?"

"MJ?" 

The girl turned at the call of her name, gasping when she saw you on the ground. "Y/N!" 

Ned and MJ ran to be at your side. "MJ, Ned, are you guys okay?" They both nodded, looking over your injuries. "Is Peter okay?" "Yeah, yeah he's fine. Are you okay?" You nodded, "Yeah, now that I know you guys are safe."

MJ and Ned looked at your wounds, tears filling their eyes. You had become a big sister to them. And they knew how strong your bond with Peter was. Him and Aunt May were all you had left.

Meanwhile Peter was looking for Happy, "Happy!" 

He ran up to him, "Hey, have you seen Y/N?" Happy gave him a sad smile, Peter being too tired to really see it. "Peter-" 

"Oh my God," Peter saw you over Happy's shoulder. He ran to you, MJ and Ned moving out of the way.

He fell to his knees, taking stock of your injuries. "No... no... no... this wa-wasn't supposed to happen. I-I told you to get off the bridge. Why didn't you leave?" You chuckled, wincing in pain after, "Beck..." Peter noticed your shallow breathing and your heartbeat pounded in his ears. 

"Beck, he-uh-he tricked me... When I noticed it was fake I tried to leave... Then," your back arched as your face scrunched up in pain. Peter shook his head, "Stop talking, help's on the way. Just focus on me, okay?"

He turned, "I need a medic over here, please!" His voice crack made Happy, MJ and Ned flinch.

He turned back to you and your eyes were struggling to stay open. "No, no, Y/N, keep your eyes open. Please, don't- Oh God, this is all my fault." His tears slipped past his eyes, falling onto your clothes. 

You shook your head, "No, Pete, this is not your fault. Please don't blame yourself." "If I would have just kept you in the dark, you wouldn't be here and you," he drew in a shaky breath. "And you would be okay." "I would have found out, you know that," you chuckled, coughing and wincing in pain. 

He nodded, his red and slightly swollen eyes filling with more tears. "What else are big sisters for?" MJ choked out a sob, covering her mouth. 

"That's why you can't leave. I need you. You're my sister, I can't do this without you," his voice went from strong and normal, to weak and a whisper. He cried onto your shoulder, "Please don't go..." 

Happy was looking around, "We need a damn medic! What the hell is taking so long?!" He stomped off, looking for someone to help you.

Your shaking hand came up to run through the short hair at the back of his neck. He sobbed onto your shoulder. "Pete," you brought in a shaky breath. "Pete, please look at me." He looked at you. "I need you to promise me something." He nodded, not trusting his voice. 

"Take care of Aunt May for me." He smiled, nodding, "Of course." "And please, don't stop helping people. They need a hero," you smiled and wiped his tears. "They need you Peter." 

He nodded, closing his eyes and resting his forehead on yours, "Okay." You closed your eyes as well, "And smile, Pete. I'll always be there, okay?" He nodded, "Thank you."

Ned and MJ were crying, both wanting to comfort Peter but knew he needed this. Happy walked up beside them. "Where's the medic?" He shook his head, "There weren't enough ambulances..." "No, she-she can't..." Ned and MJ hugged, crying.

Peter pulled back, frowning at your lack of response. Your eyes were closed, lips parted slightly. "No," he shook his head. "No... no... no... please, oh God, please no."

He shook your shoulders, "No, Y/N, no please..." One of his hands cradled your face, "Please..."

He hung his head, letting out a low, broken, "hello..." Hoping you would say it back, but knowing full well you wouldn't.

Happy sighed, grabbing his shoulder. "Peter, you need to get back with the class..." 

"I can't leave her here." 

"Peter," MJ squatted beside him. "Harrington is looking for us, we need to go..." 

"I can't leave her in a foreign place by herself." 

"I'll take her back. Fury and I will make sure she makes it home, I promise." Peter nodded, squeezing your hand before letting MJ and Ned help him up. 

"Happy?" "Yeah, kid?" "May can't know it was Mysterio... She can't know Y/N was here." Happy nodded, "Of course."

Peter let out a small sob and looked at you one last time, "I'm so sorry."

taglist: @bradleybeachbabe @mayhemmanaged @kmc1989 @lovinglyeternal @horseshoegirl @cassiemitchell @fanboyswhore9 @nightowlalltheway @86laura11 @els-marvelvsp @valmare @startrekfangirl2233

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

i can not stress this enough, but whumptober can have some very serious and heavy topics and i want to make sure i am doing my part as an author to prepare my readers for what they are about to experience and that includes not only warnings above but my taglists as well

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

[sarahsmi13s]

When Sharks Attack

whumptober day 9: scar reveal

pairing: evan 'buck' buckley x reader

characters: evan buckley, fem!reader, the 118

warnings: blood, shark attacks, scar reveal, language, anxiety attack, let me know if i missed anything please

word count: ~1.3k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace

also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: when a call takes you to the scene of a shark attack you can't help but feel a sense of deja vu and reveal the one think you never thought you could

You sighed as you looked in the mirror, your fingers running over the arch shaped scar on your skin. It was old but it was as visible as ever. The scar rounded your hip before it disappeared under your waistband before it finished on the top half of your thigh. You were glad it was in a spot that could be hidden, but you also hated that you had to hide them.

It’s not that you were ashamed or anything, there was nothing to be ashamed of. But you didn’t want anyone to see the scars, they were jagged and ugly. You didn’t like people seeing them.

In the years since you obtained them, you had barely been intimate with anyone, not even your current partner, Buck.

You trusted him with your life, with everything. But in the past, people saw the marks on your torso and they ran. And you couldn’t lose Buck, you couldn’t.

You heard the bathroom door open and you dropped your shirt and started tucking it. 

“Hey, Cap has lunch ready,” Hen said as she poked her head in. You nodded and sent her a smile in the mirror, “Okay, thank you. I’ll be out in just a sec.” She smiled back and nodded, “Alright.”

She left, patting the door frame as she did, and you sighed a little before taking a deep breath and leaving the bathroom.

During lunch the bell went off. In the commotion all you caught was the location before you were getting in the truck and going toward the scene.

You had a pit in your stomach the whole ride to the beach and you didn’t know why. 

That was until you made it through the crowd of people on the dock and saw it.

A bull shark had gotten a hold of a fisherman and wouldn’t let go. 

The scent of copper and salt water filled your senses. Blood stained the dock and the man was shouting in pain as the beast refused to release him.

That pit in your stomach turned to bricks as you stopped moving. Your side began to burn and itch. You suddenly weren’t seeing the fisherman, but yourself on the dock next to your board and bleeding from your side.

You were 18 when it happened. You were surfing with some friends, padding into shore when a great white thought you looked like its next meal. The shark took a test bite out of your side and upper half of your thigh. It was a quick bite, but it was enough. 

Internal organs were damaged and you had nearly bled out on the beach but you were stabilized and taken to the hospital just in time. 

You survived, yes, but you haven’t gone back in the water since.

“Y/N? You okay?” Buck asked, turning to when he noticed you hadn’t moved.

With your heartbeat in your ears you hadn’t heard him and you all but shoved your gear in Bobby's chest and took off towards the engine.

They called after you but they quickly turned back to the emergency at hand.

You made it to the engine, leaning against it and ripping your button up open and untucking it and your undershirt.

Taking deep, grounding breaths, you rubbed and scratched at your side. 

Your scars always did this when you were stressed or when you got anxiety. Especially in the event of flashbacks or situations that triggered you.

Tears slipped down your cheeks and you wiped them away quickly with your free hand.

“Fuck, pull yourself together Y/N this is completely unprofessional,” you scolded as you tried to shake out the tension in your fingers. “You should be better than this. It's been 6 years.”

“Honey? Y/N, baby, what’s wrong?” 

You gasped, startled as you felt Buck’s hands on you. You hadn’t heard him calling for you or running up to you. 

“Not-Nothing Buck, it’s okay. I’m okay.” You had dropped your shirt and looked up at Buck’s eyes to find them fixated on your side.

Shit. He saw.

“Buck..” 

“What happened?”

You sighed and grabbed his hand, pulling him to the cab of the engine and getting in. You closed the door and sat across from him. You rested your arms on your knees and played with your fingers. Now was the moment, and you were dreading it.

“The summer before I went to college… a few friends and I were surfing, on this beach actually,” you started not looking Buck in the eye. He mimicked your position and spoke softly to you, “I didn’t know you were a surfer.” You chuckled dryly, “I’m not… not anymore.” 

Buck just nodded, staying silent as you continued. “We were paddling into shore and all of a sudden I had this intense, hot pain in my side… A um, a great white had taken a test bite. I was brought into shore and I almost bled out in the sand.”

“But you didn’t,” Buck said, holding your hand in his. “You’re here, with us, with me.”  You nodded, sniffling a little. “I know that, I know. I just – it was terrifying…”

He nodded and kissed your hands. “I-I’m sorry I never told you sooner…” “Don’t apologize, honey. You don’t owe me anything,” he soothed, rubbing your knuckles.

You sniffle again and pull your hands away to wipe your eyes. “I should have been more professional, it was 6 years ago…” He shook his head, “Hey, you can’t control how situations make you feel, Y/N.” “I guess not…” 

Buck’s eyes flicked from your face to your side as he bit his lip. He knew it wasn’t his place, but he had to ask.

“Why did you never tell me?”

You sighed, “I was scared…” He furrowed his brow, “Scared? Scared of what?” You wrapped your arms around yourself, “They aren’t… pretty. And when people have seen them in the past…”

Buck’s heart broke. “You thought I would leave you…” You nodded, not looking at him. He tilted your chin up, “I don’t care about some scars, Y/N. They make you you.”

“You might not say that after you see them…” 

“Then show me…”

Your head whipped up to him, “Wh-what?” His face was nothing but serious, “Show me, Y/N.”

His blue eyes held nothing but genuineness and you nodded before standing.

Gulping, you lift up your shirt and look away from him as he sees the entirety of your scar. “If you want to end it-” He cut you off, “Don’t even finish that thought, I’m not going anywhere.”

He brings his hand up, his fingertips running over the marked skin delicately. 

“They’re beautiful…” 

You snorted, “I appreciate the lie Buck…” “I’m not lying. Do you know what scars mean?” You didn’t respond, looking down at your boots. “They mean you survived. That attack could have one or two outcomes. One of those outcomes includes me never getting the chance to meet you, and the other includes you and me in this truck having this conversation.”

He stood, “So, they’re beautiful because you are. Because you are alive.” 

You looked up at him as his finger hooked under your chin, “I love them because I love you. Nothing will ever change that.” 

You capture his lips in a kiss as tears still slip down your face. “Thank you, Buck… I love you too. But… I still don’t think I’m ready for sex, there’s just a lot I think I need to work through,” you told him honestly. He nodded and pecked your lips, “Whenever you're ready, I’ll be there. And I’ll be by your side until then.”

You smiled and wrapped your arms around him, “Thank you Buck.” He kissed your head, “Any time Y/N.”

taglist: @bradleybeachbabe @mayhemmanaged @kmc1989 @lovinglyeternal @horseshoegirl @cassiemitchell @fanboyswhore9 @nightowlalltheway @86laura11 @els-marvelvsp @valmare @startrekfangirl2233

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

i can not stress this enough, but whumptober can have some very serious and heavy topics and i want to make sure i am doing my part as an author to prepare my readers for what they are about to experience and that includes not only warnings above but my taglists as well

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

[sarahsmi13s]

I Just Need Quiet

whumptober day 3: overstimulation

pairing: jake 'hangman' seresin x sarah grant (plus size fem!oc)

characters: jake seresin, sarah grant, sarah's family

warnings: overstimutaion, family gatherings, holidays, crying, please let me know if i missed anything

word count: ~1.5k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

this is also apart of my oc series j and s so the tag list for that is included! and this is based on my own personal experience in this situation

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: family can be a lot, especially around the holidays, and it's okay to take a break when it gets too much... sometimes you just need quiet, and that's okay.

“Okay, so what do I need to know about your family?” Jake asked Sarah as they got ready.

She laughed as she curled her hair, “Well, first thing is, you never bring up the Longhorns. That alone is a death sentence.” Jake chuckled and nodded as he looked through his clothes for a shirt, “Noted. Anything else?”

Sarah sighed a little, “The house is gonna get pretty cramped. So it can get hot in the house, and it won’t take long for it to get loud. I know you come from a big family too, probably bigger since both sides are big, but you usually have it in a bigger house than this. And we might have about 20-40 people in this house, so it might get crowded.”

Jake nodded, “Got it.” He came over and kissed her head, “I’m really excited to meet them. And apologize for not being at Thanksgiving.” She hummed softly and turned to peck his lips, “You had to go back to base, they’ll understand.”

He smiled and pecked her lips again and again before moving to go take a shower while Sarah got dressed.

A few hours later, Jake was pulling into Sarah’s aunt’s driveway and parking next to her sister’s truck. 

“Alright, hopefully they like me,” Jake chuckled, squeezing Sarah’s hand. She smiled at him, “I don’t think you have anything to worry about, Cowboy.” 

He pecked her lips before getting out and racing around the truck to get to her side before she could open her door.

“Such a gentleman,” she giggled as he helped her out of his truck. “Anything for you, Sugar,” he said with a wide smile before kissing her forehead. She kissed his cheek and they both grabbed the things they brought before heading inside.

Sarah walked in first, thanking Jake as he held open the glass door for her.

She turned and waited for him to join her before announcing their arrival. 

“Oh, well look who’s here! And she brought a friend.”

Sarah laughed, “Hi Aunt San.” She gave her aunt a hug before turning to Jake, “This is Jake, he’s my boyfriend.” Her aunt’s eyes widened a little, “This is your pilot?” Sarah nodded and felt Jake come up behind her. “Jake, this is my Aunt San.” He smiled and gave her a hug, “It’s nice to finally meet you.” His eyes scanned the house, “And it seems I have plenty of people to meet.”

Aunt San nodded, “You sure do, but I’m first so that’s what’s important.”

Sarah rolled her eyes and laughed, “Oh um, Jake has the food, will you show him to the kitchen while I put the gifts up?” “Oh of course, follow me Jake.”

Jake nodded and followed Sarah’s aunt to the kitchen as she went to the living room.

As she walked into the room she smiled and greeted everyone, talking as she put the presents in the respective bins.

She glanced around, finding very little room to sit and feeling that pressure building in her chest already. Seriously Sarah, you just got here, she thought to herself as the voices started to muddle together.

Sending a smile to everyone, she left to go find Jake so she could do the rounds of hellos and introduce him to her family before they started to eat.

It didn’t take long after their arrival for dinner to start. After that they played bingo until all the gifts were gone and then they brought out other games while eating the rest of the finger foods that were left.

Jake and Sarah sat at the table, Jake playing spoons with Sarah’s uncles, her sister, Elizabeth, and a few of her cousins. Sarah was just sitting there next to him, resting against him and watching the game and drinking ice water.

At first he thought nothing of it, thinking that she was only talking when she addressed to not mess up his game and distract him. But she was unusually flushed, fanning herself a few times and pulling her hair off her neck into a bun. She was taking deep calculated breaths, he could feel her chest moving against his arm.

But when she sat up and started to shake out her hands, popping her knuckles and flexing her fingers, he knew something was off.

“Sugar… are you alright?” Jake asked her quietly as Elizabeth was shuffling the cards and setting the spoons back up. “Mhm,” she nodded, not looking up from where she was picking at her nails. “You sure?” “Yeah, I’m fine.”

She was mumbling, and if Jake knew anything it was that if Sarah mumbled… she wasn’t fine.

He went to say something else but was dealt a hand and the next game started.

This round he’s distracted. Glancing between his cards and her the whole time, picking up on her rhythmically tapping her fingers on her thumbs – index to pinky then pinky to index. She was inhaling through her nose and out through her mouth as her eyes stayed on the table.

Before he can say anything, the sounds of flat palms smacking the kitchen table and then a few loud shouts and laughs from those that managed to get a spoon. 

Jake’s attention is pulled to that, realizing that he missed getting a spoon. But he didn’t really care, something was up with his girlfriend and she wasn’t telling him.

“Dang… that’s alright, I was getting tired of winning anyway,” Jake commented, toothpick moving to the side of his mouth as he chuckled and tossed his cards down. The table laughed and set up another round.

As they did this, Jake turned to Sarah to talk to her but found her getting up and walking towards the front door, attempting to discreetly wipe her eyes but Jake noticed it.

Confused, Jake turned to Elizabeth, “Hey, do you know what’s wrong? I asked but she said she was fine…” She sighed, “I think she’s just a little overwhelmed, it happens.” Jake nodded, humming to himself and he looked over to the door, thinking of how he could help.

Sarah sat down on the porch swing, trying to delicately wipe her tears so she didn’t smudge her makeup.

“Damn it…” She swore under her breath, shaking her hands out and trying to calm down.

She hated that this happened more often than she would like to admit. She loved being with her family, but sometimes it was just too much.

With everyone having to be close and everyone talking, it got hot quickly and it got loud. 

Now she could handle loud, she was a coach – loud things weren’t uncommon. But it was loud conversations. Her brain was trying to listen to everyone and it all just muddled in her mind and it affected everything else.

Sometimes the lights would be too bright or the different scents of food mingling made her brain foggy, that mixed with the heat and the volume of the room – it was too much stimulation at once.

So she always just went outside, letting Arkansas’s freezing December weather bite the heat off her skin. It wasn’t loud outside either, just the muffled sounds of people talking inside and the cars on the highway in front of the house.

She sat there for a few minutes, her eyes closed and she tried to take even breaths and keep the tears in their ducts.

But then she heard the door open and looked over to see Jake come out, holding his Carhartt coat in his hand.

“Hey,” he greeted gently, coming over to her on the bench. “What’s wrong?” Sarah shook her head as she moved on the bench to give him room. “It’s nothi-”

“Sarah, I know you. What’s wrong?” 

She sighed and let her head fall into her hands as Jake sat next to her. He rubbed her back, waiting patiently for her to talk. 

“It’s too much. It’s really loud and really hot and there’s a lot of smells, the lights are too damn bright… I just…” She sighed, tears slipping down her face as she leaned on Jake’s shoulder as she talked.

“I just need quiet…”

Jake nodded, resting his cheek on her head, “I understand. I can go back–” “No, please stay…” He nodded again and put an arm around her back and on the arm rest. Using his other hand, he pulled Sarah’s legs into his lap.

He held up his jacket, inside facing the both of them. “Put your arm in the sleeve,” he told her, nodding to the sleeve hole closest to her. “What, w-” “Trust me, just do it,” he said with a playful grin.

Sarah sighed and slid her arm in the sleeve, looking at Jake to see him doing the same thing.

Jake then gently pushed her head into his shoulder and kissed her forehead.

“Jake… Darlin’, what are you doing?” 

“You need quiet, so we’re gonna have quiet… now shhh and just snuggle.”

She couldn’t help but giggle as she inhaled the faint scent of hay, leather, bergamot, and whiskey that seemed infused with the fibers of the jacket. The scent that always seemed to calm her down.

“Thank you, Jake…” 

“I love you, Sugar.”

“I love you too, Cowboy.”

whumptober taglist: @valmare @bradleybeachbabe @fanboyswhore9 @cassiemitchell @startrekfangirl2233 @nightowlalltheway @86laura11

j and s taglist: @milesdickpic @luckyladycreator2 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @sebsxphia @mayhemmanaged @nobody7102 @djs8891 @kmc1989 @marbledaesthetics @penguin876 @hisredheadedgoddess28 @bellaireland1981 @memeorydotcom @whatislovevavy @coffeewithcal @showthemwhoyouare-6 @matisse556

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

i can not stress this enough, but whumptober can have some very serious and heavy topics and i want to make sure i am doing my part as an author to prepare my readers for what they are about to experience and that includes not only warnings above but my taglists as well

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

[sarahsmi13s]

Bloodstained Sandbags

whumptober day 1 : bloody knuckles

pairing: eddie diaz x reader

characters: eddie diaz, fem!reader, christopher diaz, evan buckley, scott (oc)

warnings: 18+ MDNI, nightmares, panic attacks, crying, blood, disassociation, SA (not in vivid detail, but it is spoken about), language, caretaking, PTSD, resetting a dislocated shoulder, talks of therapy, mentions of underground fighting, please tell me if i missed any

word count: ~5.6k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace

also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: healing is draining and you're trying everything you can to stay afloat... can a new workout routine help keep you above water as you support eddie through his trauma while you work through your own?

You really thought that when Eddie started working at the dispatch center, things were going to get better for you. You thought you would sleep better, your nightmares fading away as you always had your protector next to you now. You were safe, no one could hurt you with Eddie at your side.

But it didn’t seem to matter, because you couldn’t close your eyes without being back in that damn break room – the break room you no longer set foot in.

It was like even though you knew you were safe with Eddie… a sick, twisted part of you kept reminding you that Eddie wouldn’t always be there to protect you.

And the thing was, Eddie had no idea. 

No idea that you were struggling. That for months you were feeling sick to your stomach everytime you got up to get ready for work. That you wanted his touch but had a mini panic attack every time he touched you when you weren’t expecting it.

But he had no idea what happened to you either. You were afraid to tell him. Afraid he’d leave you, though logically you knew he would never do that. 

Except there wasn’t a good time to tell him, either. He was having a hard time with his PTSD and you were doing the best you could to help him while also trying to keep yourself above water.

Which is why you started going to the gym… The sweating, the adrenaline, all of it just made you feel stronger.

And that’s where you picked up on learning to fight, you wanted to be ready. Ready to protect yourself or Christopher if the situation presented itself and Eddie wasn’t around.

You sighed as you walked into yours and Eddie’s apartment, your body stiff and sore from your workout. You managed to scrape your knuckles just a little bit too but it wasn’t too noticeable.

You hung your purse up and set your gym bag down. “Eddie? Chris?”

You heard Eddie’s voice come from the kitchen. “We’re in here, Honey!” 

You smiled and walked into the kitchen, seeing them at the table. “How are my boys?” You went over and kissed them both on the head, “I’m sorry if I made you wait, I got really in the zone at the gym and the traffic was a monster.” 

“Oh it’s no problem, I was just getting started on the veggies. Why don’t you go shower and it should be ready by the time you're done,” Eddie said as he stood and kissed the side of your head before returning to cutting the vegetables. 

You nodded at him before ruffling Chris’s hair, “Do you have any homework you need help with?” He nodded, “Yeah, math stuff.” “Alrighty, I’ll help you after dinner, okay?” “Okay.”

Smiling, you kissed his head again before going to take a shower.

Once you went into the bathroom, you were all too ready to peel the sweaty gym clothes off of you.

Your leggings peeled off with a wet sound, and if someone heard it they would have thought that you jumped into the ocean with your clothes on. The collar of your cutout t-shirt was soaked enough that you could ring it out. Your sports bra was practically the same way.

“I went way harder than I thought…” you mumbled to yourself as you dropped your clothes into a pile and checked the temperature of your shower.

Scalding hot, just like you liked it.

You stepped under the water, wincing slightly at the initial bite of the heat on your skin. But as you stood there under the water both the heat and pressure seemed to massage your muscles, allowing you to relax.

The shower was the only way you could get a massage, it was the only place you allowed yourself to feel vulnerable.

And you never went to a masseuse at all because Eddie was enough. But now, after everything that happened, the idea of being pinned under someone with your back exposed and their hands on you like that could send you into a panic attack.

He had tried once after he started his therapy sessions, realizing he had been neglecting you and wanted to help you work out the soreness of your muscles. 

But you were fighting a panic attack the whole time. You had to hold a conversation with him and ask him to not put his full weight on you. He cooperated without question of course and then you sat and chatted about your day.

Though you haven’t let him do it since, fearing that you would be able to hold it together and freak out on him.

Showers were your source of muscle relaxation. So that’s why you stood there, water pressure on pulse and heat turned up to hell.

When you felt satisfied, you turned the temperature down and finished your shower, ending with a cold rinse just to soothe your skin before getting out and getting dressed in a pair of shorts and one of Eddie’s shirts then joining the boys for dinner.

Eddie watched you wash dishes with a smile on his face as he leaned against the fridge.

He had cleaned out the sink, putting plates, bowls, utensils, and cups into the dishwasher while you were helping Chris with homework. But now you were working on pots and pans because they just didn’t fit in the dishwasher with the other things, often needing to be washed separately – and that took too long for your liking.

So after getting Chris settled down in his room, Eddie came back to watch you, wanting to spend alone time with you since you rarely got that lately. 

Not that he was necessarily mad about it, he respected boundaries when and where you set them – no questions asked.

But he was pulled to action when he heard you wince, taking a step and a half to meet you as you turned for a towel.

“What happened?” Eddie asked, holding your hand as you dabbed it dry, wincing as you did so.

You shook your head, not answering him as you took the towel away to blow on the raw skin of your busted knuckles. You had gotten lemon juice and salt on them from cleaning the cutting board you had used this morning, and it hurt like a bitch.

Eddie froze for a second. Where had you gotten bruised and scraped up knuckles from? You hadn’t had those this morning…

In a quick scan, he checked you over for injuries. If you had a bruised cheekbone or black-eye that he somehow missed during dinner. But you were clean, so he could cross fight off the list. 

“Nena… what happened?” 

His voice was gentle as he took the towel away from you and pressed a gentle kiss to your knuckles. He was worried, because last time he started coming home with busted knuckles he was underground fighting…

But you wouldn’t do that? Would you?

“I was at the gym and I scraped it, not a big deal.”

He nodded and rubbed his thumb gently over it. “Let me finish the dishes.”

It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. Eddie was going to finish the dishes, and he wasn’t going to argue.

You sighed and moved out of the way, letting him take over but you didn’t leave and instead wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head on his back. After your day at work and then going so hard at the gym, you need this comfort. The domesticity of it all, the safety of it all.

Over the next few weeks things seemed to be getting a little better. Sure, you were still having nightmares and coming home with slightly bruised knuckles but Eddie’s surprise touches didn’t spook you anymore. You were also considering becoming more intimate with Eddie again as he seemed to be doing better as well and was seeking out the contact again. 

Things were just slowly coming back to normal, well as normal as the could be, but things were getting better

But then something happened at work, and it set all of your progress back.

You were walking to your desk from the supply closet with more file folders, since you were doing some re-organizing and needed new ones, when you bumped into someone.

They caught you before you fell, steadying you with their hands on your waist. Huffing out a surprised laugh, you looked up to thank them but you nearly choked on air when you saw whose hands were on you.

Panic shot through you like lightning and you put distance between you and Scott immediately, not caring if it was rude or not.

“Woah, Y/N, you okay?” He asked, but the smirk pulling at the corner of his lips told you that he knew the answer. 

How could you be okay? After not seeing him that up close for months, then all of a sudden his hands are on you again and you’re back to being the weak little girl you were in the break room that night.

“S-S-Scott, I-I thought you were um late shift?” You stuttered, your eyes looking for escapes to your desk in your periphery. 

He put a hand in his pocket nonchalantly, attempting to lure you into a false sense of security, that that side of his body was safe to escape through – it wasn’t.

“Oh, I am, but I decided to come in on a Saturday. I needed another day on my paycheck since I took a day off this week.” 

You nodded, jaw setting and grinding your back teeth together as you tried to avoid looking at his face. “I see. Well Scott, if you’ll excuse me I need to get… get back to my desk.” You cursed yourself for starting so confident but then losing it as the breath just slowly got pulled from your lungs.

Scott just smirked. He could see the fear in your eyes and the cottonmouth you were getting just being in his presence. He thrived on it, knowing that corporate wasn’t going to follow up on the claim you made to HR and that you weren’t in a great position to quit so you had to stay for just a little longer.

But he just caught you one unlucky night where you had to stay late to finish a project, considering you didn’t work the night hours because you usually needed to be home with Chris because Eddie was working a shift. The one time Buck was off you took advantage of it and stayed late to catch up. 

And you haven’t stayed late since…

“Oh, by all means, don’t let me stop you, I was just on my way to get some coffee.”

You were trying so hard not to clam up and just bolt to your desk and pack up. But you calmly nodded and just squatted down to pick up the folders you dropped.

You hated having your back to him and your hands shook furiously as you collected the pale yellow folders.

“You look like you could use a break, why don’t you join me?” Scott’s voice was right in your ear. It was low and raspy as his hand gripped your shoulder.

Trying your best to just shrug it off, you shook your head. “No, I’m alright. I need to get back to work.”

He clicked his tongue and shook his head, “I insist.” His voice was demanding as his fingers curled around your joint and dug into your collarbone. 

Instantly your arm shot up and pushed him off you. “I said no.”

You scooped up the remaining folders and dignity and went toward your desk. Just to have fingers curled around your wrist and pulling you back into a hard chest. 

“I’m trying to be nice and you’re being a bitch.”

Rolling your lips between your teeth, you tried to yank your wrist away – twisting and pulling at his grip to get him to let go. “You just don’t know how to understand the word ‘no’. I don’t want coffee, I just want to go to my desk.”

You swallowed, finally looking in his eyes, shredding any last dignity you had. “Please Scott… you got what you wanted, just leave me alone… please…”

The canines he bared as he smiled wide made you sick to your stomach, but as he opened his mouth to speak his attention was pulled away and you took that chance to free yourself. You twisted your wrist and pushed the files into his chest before booking it to your desk.

After gathering your things and rushing to your manager’s office, pleading to her with shaky hands as you told her something had happened and you needed to get home to Chris.

She immediately let you leave, not questioning it as you thanked her and ran out to your car.

The drive home was a total blur, taking the turns on auto pilot as you tried not to break down before you were in the safety of your own home and not risking anyone else’s safety.

And when you finally got home, you were booking it to the fridge to get a cold water bottle to maybe shock your system into calming down. But in your haste you missed the fact that Buck and Chris are home, and not out at the aquarium like you thought they were.

Buck had heard you come in and watched you nearly trip over yourself to get to the kitchen, abandoning your purse and keys on the floor.

Chris had seen it too and looked at Buck concerned, having never once seen you like this. “Buck?” Buck ruffled Chris’s hair, “I’ll go see what’s up. You stay here okay?” Chris just nodded and watched Buck get up and go to the kitchen.

Buck went to the kitchen, finding you chugging the cold water as you white knuckled the counter.

“Y/N? You’re home early.”

The way you jumped, hand clenching around the bottle so hard that water shot out of it – it would have been comical had the dilated look in your wide eyes not set off alarm bells in Buck’s head. 

You watched, caught like a deer in headlights, as concern washed over Buck’s face and filled his eyes with pity. Immediately your back was turned to him, shielding your breaking resolve from his helping hand. 

With the blood pounding in your ears, you missed his approach until he was touching you. You jerked again under his touch, weakly muttering out, “P-please don’t touch me.” 

Buck’s heart sank. He had never heard you sound like this before… so broken…

It sent him back to the night Eddie had destroyed your room in a fit of helplessness, how terrified his best friend was. How you sat with Eddie, him now remembering your bruised knuckles encasing Eddie’s in an act of comfort.

“Y/N… what happened? What’s wrong?”

“No-nothing, just-just…”

He tried to turn you and get you to face him, to get a read on your face and figure out what to do. But you yelped and pushed him back, sending his stunned 6’2” frame into the table.

“Buck you need to leave…”

“Y/N-”

“Leave Evan!”

Buck swallowed, trying not to be hurt as he turned on his heel and went to say goodbye to Christopher.

You watched him leave the kitchen, your ears hot and tingling as you looked at the mess you made. You needed to clean it up before Chris came in here and slipped.

Hearing Buck close the front door, you carefully made your way to the laundry room to get a dirty bath towel to clean it up. Your vision tunneled, your ears rang and you felt that sick snag in your chest as the air was stopping half way down your throat.

By the time you get there your legs can barely hold you up as you get to the washer and sink down to the floor. Sobs are wracking your chest and you can only pray Chris can’t hear you.

But your prayers went unanswered, because Chris can hear you and he is scared. 

Your broken sobs and ragged breathing are reminding him of the night Eddie punched those holes in the wall… and the night you came home and took a long shower thinking Chris was asleep and couldn’t hear you crying through the wall.

Chris abandoned the video game in front of him and put himself on a mission to find you. He could follow the sound of your cries to where you were sitting on the cold floor, head between your knees as you tried to breathe regularly.

“Y/N?” He gently called out, hoping you could hear him.

He watched you thread your hands in your hair and pull at the roots, sucking in jagged breaths just for them to be forced out with the next sob.

He didn’t like seeing you like this and he hated that he wasn’t sure how to help. But he knew he had to try.

Chris called out your name again as he approached you, not wanting to scare you and send you further into your panic. You must have recognized his voice because you seemed to calm down just a bit. He sat down on the floor next to you and put his hands on yours on top of your head. 

“You’re safe, it’s okay, Y/N. I’m here.” He recalled the phrases you had repeated to him when he was having trouble after the tsunami. He had to pull from what he was shown, he had barely anything to go off of and he just had to hope that it was enough.

With Chris putting his hands on yours, talking to you gently, you could feel yourself slowly calming down. His hands were so drastically different from the ones that had bruised your skin, that it managed to remind you that you were home and that you were safe.

“Please, Y/N…”

You look up at him slowly, your hands letting go of your hair and holding his hands. “It’s okay, you’re safe.” Chris moved your hands to his face, hoping that it can help to ground you.

Your thumbs immediately began to rub back and forth on his cheeks, him taking deep breaths to help you find a rhythm. “Follow me, Y/N. Just like you tell me…” 

Chris watched the fog clear from your eyes as you began to calm down and lean forward to press a kiss to his head as a thank you before resting your forehead on his. He wrapped his arms around you as best he could and you pulled him into your lap, your head falling to his shoulder.

You sat there for a bit in silence, rubbing Chris’s back as you managed to collect yourself.

“I’m sorry if I scared you, Chris. I didn’t mean to,” you apologized, breaking the silence. “Are you okay?” His voice was soft and gentle as he pulled back a little. You’re nodding immediately, “I’m better now, thank you buddy.” 

“Do I need to call Dad?” 

You shook your head, “No, it’s okay. I’ll be alright.”

He nodded before tilting his head a little, “Why are you mad at Buck? Did he do something bad?” 

Your heart sank. He had heard you yell at Buck, and you hardly ever yelled around Chris – if ever. And now you’ve come home early, yelled at one of your best friends, and had a full blown panic attack with Christopher as a witness.

“Oh Chris… Buck didn’t do anything wrong. I shouldn’t have yelled at him. I’m not mad.”

“Why did you yell at him?”

“I was just feeling a lot of things and it was just what happened. I could have handled it better and I will in the future,” you said gently as you pushed some of his curls back.

You sniffled a little bit, “Why don’t you go back to the living room and I’ll make you some lunch after I get changed?” You gave him the best smile you could and kissed his forehead after he nodded.

“Okay, let’s go.”

Eddie had come home around 5:30 to you already finishing up on getting dinner ready. 

“Honey? What are you doing home?”

“Oh, I got the stuff I need to get done early so I decided to just come home,” you said nonchalantly with a shrug. 

He smiled and came up behind you to kiss your cheek before he went to get changed. But as he placed his hand on the small of your back, you jumped. 

Eddie’s brow furrowed, you had never reacted like that to him. But he didn’t get to ask you, because you turned your head and planted a kiss on his lips. “I love you, Eddie.” He smiled softly and kissed your forehead, “I love you too, Y/N.”

You wrapped your arms around him and buried your face into his shoulder, smelling his coffee and whiskey body spray. He hugged you back, albeit a little confused, but he could tell you needed this.

After a few moments, you pulled back, “Go get changed and cleaned up, I’ll have it plated for you by the time you get back.” He nodded and kissed your temple, “Yes ma’am.”

You smiled and pecked his jaw before he went to change.

When he came back, Eddie found you and Chris at the table, his plate made up for him just like you said it would be.

“It looks fantastic, Honey, thank you,” he said, announcing his presence before touching your shoulder and kissing the top of your head. You smiled at him, “Of course, Sweetheart.” He sat down next to you, his hand on your thigh, just resting there as you ate. 

You talked about his day and everything that went on – you having been getting his twitter notifications and just wanted a little more detail.

But when he turned and asked you about your day, you clammed up and just told him it was like any other day, you just skipped the gym today because you wanted to surprise him with dinner. And you left it at that, leaving no more room for conversation about your day.

After dinner you all went to the living room to watch movies before Chris went to bed. It was your weekend routine.

Except tonight you broke routine.

You decided that you wanted to go ahead and go to the gym, just to get a small workout in before you went to bed. So, after you did the dishes you got in your gym clothes and gave Chris a hug and Eddie a quick kiss before leaving.

It had all happened so quickly that Eddie didn’t get a chance to really slow you down and ask you what was up. This behavior was just so off to him that he just wanted an explanation.

And he did… just not from you.

After you lifted weights for God knows how long, you finally went over to the punching bag.

You had been on autopilot the moment you left the house. 

And yeah, you felt bad for just leaving Eddie hanging like that. Giving him no explanation other than you just wanted to. But you had been thrumming since your panic attack, using that energy on deep cleaning and laundry — too on edge to rest or sit still.

You needed an aggressive outlet for all that energy, you had to get to the gym.

So that’s where you’ve been. Lifting weights and running until near collapse. 

Now you were hastily wrapping your hands to take it all out on the punching bag. The poor inanimate object becoming the true outlet of your emotions, taking blow after blow as you wail on it. Your emotions from earlier in the day being released in the form of punches. 

You hated that Scott was able to revert you back to the scared girl you were that night, smothering all the progress you had thought you made.

The swinging sandbag in front of you felt like a wall as you hit it with every you had. Flashes of that night played behind your closed lids as you seemingly lost control.

You could feel his hands on you again, touching you with evil intentions. His hands mocked Eddie, tainted the loving touch of your boyfriend with his greediness. 

Your hips digging into the counter, bruised with the force of Scott pinning you in place. You couldn’t escape, you didn’t know how to escape.

With each moment flashing, each ghostly touch reminding you of what he did to you in the break room, you punched harder — oblivious to the pain shooting up your arm with each solid hit.

You couldn’t stop. You didn’t want to stop. 

You just wanted it all to go away.

And in those moments you didn’t feel the tears running down your cheeks, you were numb. You hadn’t noticed the break in your poorly wrapped tape, which allowed your bare knuckles to meet with the canvas bag.

The tears and dissociation blurred your vision and you were blind to the fact the red spots and streaks covering the rough beige fabric was your own blood.

You had broken the skin on your knuckles, staining the sandbag with your blood as tears stained your cheeks.

But when you land a particularly hard punch and your shoulder pops grotesquely next to your ear do you snap out of it.

“Oh fuck!”

Your curse was picked up by a nearby girl who had come in at the same time as you.

“Oh my goodness! Are you okay?!”

Your head whipped up to look at her and you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. 

You didn’t look good, covered head to toe in red splotches and sweat. You looked down at your knuckles and saw that your tape was practically non-existent and your hand was covered in crimson.

“Ma’am? Are you okay?”

You blinked and looked at the girl. “Yeah… yes yes I’m fine. I just… I need to go home. My boyfriend is probably worried.”

“Are you sure? That crack sounded bad…”

“Thank you for your concern but I’m alright. You have a good night and be safe, please.”

She could only nod as you quickly grabbed your bag and went out to your car.

You knew you’d be driving with just one arm and you really didn’t want to deal with an midnight ER on a Saturday night so you went straight home — knowing that you’d need Eddie.

Eddie sat in the living room, his knee bouncing with nerves as he waited for you to get home.

You hadn’t answered your phone and he was starting to get worried. With his line of work, he was already thinking the worst. Did you get into an accident? Did you get taken? He had his radio on the coffee table listening closely while he waited, hoping that he didn’t hear anything related to you come over the device.

Then he heard it. The front door opening and closing followed by keys in the bowl and a bag hitting the floor.

You were home, so at least there’s that relief.

He looked up and over as you walked by, arm cradling the other as you sniffled.

“Chris was worried about you.”

Eddie watched you tense, but you didn’t turn to face him.

He stood walking over to you. “He told me you had a panic attack when you came home today, you know, after you yelled at Buck to leave. Then you weren’t here when he went to bed. He knows something is wrong, and he’s worried it’s his fault.”

That made you turn, allowing Eddie to see the rush of tears on your face as you still cradled your arm.

“No, God no. This is nowhere near Chris’s fault.” Your voice was thick with emotion as you spoke and the realization dawned on you that you would have to tell Eddie everything.

“Did I do something? Because I thought we talked about things and worked things out. If I did, please tell me… I want to fix it… I can’t lose you…”

“Oh Eddie…”

“Please mi vida…” Eddie’s voice was soft and low as he rubbed your arms.

You covered your mouth, attempting to conceal the sob of pain and regret. But you couldn’t hide the small yelp or your bloody fist.

Concerned, Eddie put his hands on your shoulders, freezing when he felt the slipped ball and socket joint and you sobbed into your hand.

“Sweetheart?”

“Fix it… please, it hurts so bad…”

Eddie nodded and carefully got himself into position, “You ready?” “Just do i- AH!” Mid sentence, Eddie popped your shoulder back into place.

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” he soothed as you sobbed into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry Eddie… I’m so sorry…”

He ran a hand through the hair at the back of your head, “Hey, lets get your hands cleaned up okay? Then we’ll talk, yeah?”

You nodded before stepping back, instinctively wiping your face with the back of your hand — smearing a little blood on your face.

Eddie tensed a little, that was the worst he’s seen your knuckles and it was starting to look suspicious to him. But you had come home the other times with no other injuries so he had no reason to question you about it.

But he could see clearly that something was wrong. Very wrong.

Eddie gently grabbed your hand and took you to the kitchen.

Without a word he sat you on the counter and grabbed the med kit from under the sink. 

You both stayed quiet as he dampened a towel and  cleaned you up, he inspected for tenderness and any signs of trauma to your hands other than the obvious.

Once he was done, you both sat in silence for a moment before you spoke up.

“It’s not what it may look like…”

“Oh yeah? Cause it looks like you’ve been fighting. I've seen the bruises on your knuckles but I don’t say anything because I didn’t want to assume. But after today I don’t know what to think.”

Your eyes fill with tears and you shake your head. “That’s not it, I swear. It’s just…” A weight settled on your chest as you realized this was the moment you would have to tell him and possibly change your relationship forever.

“Honey… please talk to me, I’m scared. I don’t want to lose you.”

And with that the damn was broken and you sobbed into your hands.

Eddie gave you a moment to calm down, comforting you as best he could until you were ready.

Once you were composed, you spilled everything.

From you needing to stay late to you going to the break room for a snack to when Scott walked in and shoved your dignity in the paper shredder.

Eddie was listening intently, his rage rising in his body but he tried not to show it and keep a gentle expression for your sake. 

But hearing you, here and now, sounding so ashamed and scared. Recounting the night in detail. 

And he had been so caught up in the job change that he hadn’t noticed. He hadn’t noticed that the love of his life was suffering because he wasn’t there. 

It wasn’t until his son came to him that he noticed something was wrong. 

“Eddie, I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry,” you sobbed, clinging onto him. “It didn’t… I didn’t want it, please you have to believe me.”

He felt his heart shatter in his chest. 

You were begging for forgiveness for something that wasn’t your fault. 

“I believe you Sweetheart, I believe you.” 

He pulled back a little, “I-Is this why you’ve been going to the gym?” You nodded, whimpering a little as more tears filled your eyes, “You won’t always be there… and I just… I want to be ready to protect myself or Christopher.”

You held your hand up and flexed it a little, “I saw Scott for the first time since that night today at work, that’s why I had the panic attack. And I needed an outlet, I didn’t know I was bleeding until I dislocated my shoulder.”

Eddie wiped your eyes, “Y/N I’m so sorry I never noticed… I should have been there…” You shake your head, “I didn’t tell you Eddie, you were going through a lot and I didn’t want to add on…”

He frowned a little but kissed your forehead. It made him feel awful that you thought you couldn’t come to him. You were processing something alone while helping him get better and that wasn’t fair. 

“Would you be willing to go to a professional about this? For you and for us? Just so we can learn to get through this together,” he laced your fingers together and kissed your knuckles. 

You nodded and pressed your forehead to his, “I want to try.” You brought in a breath, “I have to quit my job…” 

He hummed and nodded against you, “Please quit, I make enough, we'll be okay. And we can pull from savings if we need to.”

“Thank you.”

Eddie nudged your nose with his, “I love you, so much.” 

You smiled softly and flattened your palm over his heart, “I love you too, Eds. So so much.”

He wrapped you in his arms and just held you there. Planting gentle kisses to your head and whispering little jokes in your ear to make you laugh.

And that’s when you knew that it would all be okay, that it would be better. Maybe not tomorrow, but someday.

As long as you had Eddie, you would be okay.

taglists: @bradleybeachbabe @valmare @fanboyswhore9 @cassiemitchell @startrekfangirl2233

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

i can not stress this enough, but whumptober can have some very serious and heavy topics and i want to make sure i am doing my part as an author to prepare my readers for what they are about to experience and that includes not only warnings above but my taglists as well

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

[sarahsmi13s]

Last in the Flock

whumptober day 8: panic attack

pairing: bradley bradshaw x twin sister!reader

characters: bradley bradshaw, duckie bradshaw, carole bradshaw

warnings: panic attack, car accident, fear of being alone, mentions of death, canon deaths, cancer diagnosis, please tell me if i missed any

word count: ~1.6k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

this is also apart of my series duckie so the tag list for that is included! of course if you can't handle the content and you chose to not read, perfectly fine!!

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: in the wake of carole's diagnosis, bradley gets into an accident, duckie's thoughts run wild and take over

You were in school when you got the call.

Bradley had gotten into an accident on his way to school. He didn’t have a first or second period so he didn’t come to school with you and just came fifteen minutes before his first class started.

Your mother had called you as you went to lunch, crying as she told you your brother was unconscious because he was in a car accident. Thankfully, it was a T-bone on the passenger side, but someone else hadn’t been paying attention and hit Bradley head on. But the doctors said that he should pull through and be just fine.

It didn’t stop the absolute dread that had been sitting on your stomach since you heard your mother sobbing. You went straight to the office with your mother on the phone to tell them that you were going by your remaining classes, collecting your work and leaving. 

The secretary didn’t even question it, seeing the very real tears on your face, and said she would send everyone a heads up.

You had taken your motorcycle to school that morning and you were nearly terrified to get on it. But you decided that you would drive home and get your car, not that you were a hundred percent safe in your car but it was better than being completely exposed on your bike.

You couldn’t risk it.

Later that day, after a check up, Bradley was cleared to go home. And he was ordered to rest the whole weekend and could take half the week off from school, but he was gonna be just fine.

You and Carole made sure he rested and doted on him the whole weekend.

And then the school week started, and you didn’t want to leave the house.

You justified it to your mom and yourself that it was because she needed her rest, Bradley’s insistence on that sentiment helped your side of the argument. She was insisting it was her job and you were insisting that she deserved to be taken care of as well.

But there was another feeling. A feeling you couldn’t quite place, but you knew you didn’t like it.

“Yeah, but hey you guys have fun though! I’ll be there next time. Thank you for understanding,” you smiled as you talked to your friend Ellie.

You had made plans to go out with her and a few of your other friends today after school but when they noticed you weren’t in first period, Ellie decided to call you during lunch.

“You can go out, you know, Duckie,” Bradley said from the couch. “I’m not dying, I can-”

“You could have died though! Do you know how close you were to dying and leaving me alone!?”

Bradley bruised eyes widened at your outburst. 

You were never the loud one. You weren’t the type to lash out. You were more like your dad in that way, not the type to yell unless it was needed. So to hear you shout out of the blue like that was concerning. 

“Duckie…”

You shook your head and stood up, “I’m gonna make lunch, sandwich okay?” Bradley just nodded and watched you rush into the kitchen.

When you got there you braced yourself on the sink with one hand as your other came up to your chest as it began to ache and your hand trembled violently. You couldn’t get air into your lungs, it stopped just before filling your lungs, and your legs seemed to stop working. A heat rushed up your body; your feet became too hot in your socks and a cold sweat ran down your back.

It was like you were frozen. The ringing in your ears did not help the nausea as your stomach churned. 

Your dad is dead. Your mom is dying. Your twin can die at any time. Then you would be all alone. Sad, lonely little Duckie… the last in the flock. Poor thing.

A sob forced its way out of your body, wracking your chest with force as your legs shook and you lowered yourself to the ground. 

Your hand on your chest tapped against your breast bone with no rhythm as you lost control of your thoughts and your breathing. You felt numb, like your nerve endings were on fire – the cool metal of the dishwasher had no effect on you.

“Duckie? Duckie, hey, what’s wrong?” 

Bradley had gotten off the couch and came over to you the moment he heard you sob.

He didn’t know what he thought he would see but it wasn’t his twin sister struggling to breath on the floor.

“Hey, Y/N! Y/N! Hey what’s-”

Bradley grabbed you by the shoulders, hoping to get your attention but all you did was sob and push him away. He hit the island with a pained grunt as he looked at you confused.

He realized that you were mumbling something to yourself through your sobs. 

“Alone… Alone… They’re all dead, I’m gonna be alone…” 

Then you were sucking in strangled breaths and sobbing them out, coughing hard as you gripped at your shirt. “It’s hot, too hot… Can’t breathe.. Can’t-” You cut yourself of with a sob.

Bradley sat there in shock, he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t go get your mom, she was out with Sarah Kazansky and he didn’t want to bother them. He couldn’t call Maverick because he wasn’t in the position to come help. But there was one number he could call.

Quickly he pulled out his phone, dialing the three digits. 

“9-1-1 what is your emergency?”

“I think my sister is having a panic attack.” 

“Okay, are you with her right now or can you hear her in the other room?” 

“I’m in front of her, we’re in the kitchen on the floor… I-I don’t know what to do, what do I do?” 

“What’s your name?”

“Bradley, my sister’s name is Y/N.”

“I’m Hannah, I’m gonna help you both through this okay? Just follow my instructions to the best of your abilities, can you do that?”

Bradley nodded, forgetting she couldn’t see him, “Y-yes I-I can do that.” 

“Alright, what I want you to do first is put me on speaker okay?” 

He put her on speaker and sat his phone down, “Okay, I did it.”

Hannah proceeded to walk him through calming you down. 

First, Bradley had to let you know that he was there and that he was there to help. He calmly got your attention on him, hating that your eyes looked over his wounds rather than in his eyes. “Duckie, hey, look in my eyes, I’m here I’m right here.”

Then he had to distract you. He asked you to hold your arms up, touch his fingertips with yours above your head. This not only helped you to focus on something but it helped to expand your chest to allow more air in.

“Good job Duckie, you’re doing so good.”

Last he was to help you slow your breathing down. He tried counting down from ten, but that didn’t work so he then tried twenty but that didn’t work either.

“Hannah what do I do?”

“Ask her what she needs you to do.”

He nodded and found your eyes, “Hey, Y/N, tell me what you need.” He waited a beat before speaking again. “What do I need to do?”

“H-Heart… heart beat,” you said, patting your own chest.

Bradley nodded and gently took your hand, putting it to his chest.

“Can you feel that? I’m okay, and you’re okay. We’re safe.”

He watched you nod and your breathing started to even out. “Good job Duckie, I’m so proud of you. You’re doing so good.” 

“Bradley, the paramedics are there. Can you let them in?”

“Yeah I can-” He moved to get up but your fist balled in his shirt and you shook your head, “No… please…”

“Hannah, tell them there is a key under the mat. I can’t leave her.” 

“I can do that.”

A few seconds later paramedics arrived in the kitchen as Bradley pulled you into his lap. He held you close and kissed the side of your head. “It’s okay, I got you. I got ya.” 

The medics checked your vitals and got you a little oxygen to help you breathe better.

“Okay, Y/N, you’re gonna be really drained the rest of the day, take it easy alright?”

You could only manage a nod and Bradley rubbed your back.

The medics and Bradley shared a nod as the medics left. 

He sat there with you until you were ready to get up. He didn’t speak other than gentle reassurances and praises.

“Bradley…”

You broke the silence about fifteen minutes later, your voice still shaky and a little raspy. 

He hummed, “What’s up Duckie? What happened?” You sniffled, “I think it was just Mom’s diagnosis… your accident… Dad… it was all just a lot. I was scared… Scared of being alone… being the last one…”

Bradley rubbed your arm, “Oh Duckie…” “I know I know it’s-” “It’s not stupid, your fear is valid. I hope it’s a comfort to know that I’m not leaving you with a fight,” he said, kissing your temple. “Nothing can take me away from my baby sister.”

You snorted, “You’re only twelve minutes older.” “Still older.” 

Rolling your eyes you sat up a little, “Can we go lay down? The floor is uncomfy.” He nodded and you both got up before going to lay down on the couch. “I love you, BradBrad.”

He chuckled and gently rubbed your side, “I love you too, Duckie.”

taglist: @bradleybeachbabe @mayhemmanaged @kmc1989 @lovinglyeternal @horseshoegirl @cassiemitchell @fanboyswhore9 @nightowlalltheway @86laura11 @els-marvelvsp @valmare @startrekfangirl2233

my ducklings <33: @roosterscockpit @milesdickpic @luckyladycreator2 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @hisredheadedgoddess28 @malindacath @avengers-fixation @shawnsblue @caitsymichelle13 @classycolorpeach @mayhemmanaged @startrekfangirl2233 @bobby-r2d2-floyd @twsssmlmaa​ @horseshoegirl​ @babyreads​ @amatswimming @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @cassiemitchell​ @callsignwidow @kmc1989​   @goodstuff28​ @pjngpp3501​ @lunamoonbby​ @joyfulpandamiracle​ @craftyinfluencersandwich @averyhotchner​ @emily-roberts​ @teenwolf01 @sunderland-6​ @bethabear12​ @coldmuffinbanditshoe​ @dempy​ @djs8891​ @ingoaliesitrust @novavida​ @tigerfan24 @lynnestra44​​ @lilmonstrjedi

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

i can not stress this enough, but whumptober can have some very serious and heavy topics and i want to make sure i am doing my part as an author to prepare my readers for what they are about to experience and that includes not only warnings above but my taglists as well

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

[sarahsmi13s]

The Family I Chose

whumptober day 7: disowned by family

pairing: natasha 'phoenix' trace x bestie!reader

characters: natasha trace, fem!reader, oliver trace, the dagger squad, nat's family (tess, elijah, mason, and brody)

warnings: 18+ MDNI, language, teen pregnancy, mentions of abortion, abusive parents, disowned by family, standing up to family, crying, please let me know what i'm missing

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace

also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

also also, i do want to apologize for getting this up late got distracted while writing it so i finished it later than i had hoped

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: the quote "blood is thicker than water" is often misused. the full quote is "the blood of the convenent is thicker than the water of the womb". meaning, the connections you choose to make are stronger than the ones you're forced to have

Natasha held her cheek, tears in her eyes as she looked at her mother.

“How could you?!” Tessa, Natasha’s mother, screamed in her face, holding the positive pregnancy test up. “You slut, can’t keep your legs closed around that boyfriend of yours. And look where that got you, pregnant at seventeen. I can’t believe you could be so reckless!”

The plastic stick was shoved into Nat’s chest. “Mason brought that to me after Brody found it, at least one of my daughters has the decency to be honest with me!”

Natasha looked from the test to her mom. “I-I swear I was going to tell you, but-” 

“‘But’ what, Natasha Jordan?” Elijah, her father, asked, stepping in. His arms were crossed over his chest as he glared at his eldest child. “I don’t think that you were gonna tell us, because if you were then you wouldn’t have left your test in the trash!” He yanked the test out of her hand and broke it before throwing at her feet.

“I didn’t know how to tell you! I was scared, I didn’t know how you were gonna react! And clearly I was right to worry. Because parents are supposed-”

Smack

Natasha held her cheek again, wide-eyed at her parents who stood there with their faces contorted in anger and embarrassment almost. But love? Compassion? Sympathy? None of that was present.

“Terminate it or pack your shit and leave,” Elijah said coldly, face unchanging. 

Natasha felt sick to her stomach at her father’s heartless words. The ultimatum proving her fears right.

Despite the things she wanted to scream and shout at them, she just nodded curtly and left. Not even bothering to get in her car as she left to go to her best friend’s house.

“Tasha? Hey, Nat are you okay?”

Phoenix blinked and shook herself out of her thoughts before smiling at you. 

You were the best friend she ran to that day eleven years ago. The best friend that caught her when she launched herself at you as she sobbed, words fumbling out of her mouth as she tried to recount the horrible things that her parents had said to her. The best friend that helped her pack up her bedroom, leaving it looking like Natasha never lived there and considering you found a box of every photo of Natasha that no longer hung on the walls in the basement – you had made the right choice, even taking the box with you when you left.

You were the best friend that helped her through the pregnancy, considering Jasper left the moment he learned Nat was pregnant. The best friend that threw her a baby shower and helped her stay on track with school as she got into those final months. The best friend that held her hand in the delivery room when she gave birth to little baby Oliver. The best friend that held her when she learned that Oliver was deaf and would never hear her voice. 

You were her rock then, and you were her rock now.

“I’m just nervous…” Nat admitted, playing with her hands as she looked up and over at the group of pilots playing with her son. “It’s been eleven years since they abandoned me… gave me a horrible ultimatum. Now they want to come here and be grandparents? I don’t trust it.”

You nodded, “And you have every right to be hesitant. They were supposed to be your parents and they turned their back on you. You have every right to set whatever boundaries you want. If they don’t like it, they can fuck off and go back to North Carolina with their shitty attitudes.”

She smiled at you, “Thank you Y/N, for everything. I don’t think I could have done all of this without you.” You hugged her tightly. “I’m always gonna be here for you, and that little rascal over there. You and Ollie deserve the fuckin’ world.”

Nat sniffled and pulled back to wipe her eyes, “Thank you.” “Of course Tash.” 

You both smiled at each other before a nerf arrow flew between you two. You look over to see Oliver on Fanboy’s shoulders with his new nerf bow and arrow that Bob had got him.

“Someone wanted his mama!” Mickey put Oliver down and sat next to you on the beach chair.

Nat smiled at her son, “Did you say thank you to Uncle Bob?” Oliver nodded, sending her a capped tooth grin, “Yes, I’m like Hawkeye now!”

You smiled and tickled Oliver’s sides to get his attention, “Hey Ollie, why don’t we get you a target and Uncle Jake can train you to hit the bullseye.” He nodded and turned to Nat, signing ‘please’ over and over, making her laugh. “Okay baby, we’ll get you a target.”

You smiled at them and Oliver ran over to Jake, letting the pilot pick him up.

Hearing footsteps approach, you turned your head, and your smile dropped immediately.

“Nat,” you said, the seriousness in your tone catching her attention. “What is it?” You nodded in the direction, “Your parents are here…”

She tensed but nodded and stood up.

“Do you want Ollie?” Jake asked. But Nat shook her head, “I want to talk to them first, alone.”

That word ‘alone’ was directed more at you and you nodded but gave her hand a gentle squeeze to let her know you were there if she needed you. She gave you a smile and squeezed your hand back before going to her parents and younger siblings.

“Natasha,” Tessa greeted curtly, clearly trying to peek around her at Oliver. “Mom, Dad,” Nat said, crossing her arms as she looked at them both.

“I’m gonna be honest, I’m surprised you agreed to meet with us,” Elijah said, looking from Nat to the group behind her, playing with Oliver. She shrugged, “It’s been eleven years, I’m willing to give you a chance.”

Mason stepped out from behind Tessa and Elijah, “Hi, Nat…” Nat smiled gently at her sister, “Hi Mason.” “I’ve missed you.” “I’ve missed you too.”

“So, when do we get to meet our grandson?” Tess asked impatiently. Nat rose an eyebrow, “Your grandson? You think you just get to call him that? After what you did?”

“Look, Natty,” Elijah tried but Nat held up a hand. “No, you don’t get to call me that. Before I ever let you anywhere near him, I’m laying down ground rules.”

Both of her parents groaned, “Really? You think you can lay down ‘rules’ for us to see our grandson?” She nodded, arms still crossed, “Yes, I do, because he is my son.” “Fine.” 

Nat’s temper was rising but she wasn’t going to freak out, because she knew that would get her nowhere. And even though Ollie couldn’t hear her, he could see her and it could scare him, and the last thing she wanted to do.

“First, you will never be alone with him.” Tessa looked offended, her hand over her heart as she gasped, “Do you not trust us?” Phoenix arched her brow again, “Honestly? No I don’t. But that’s not it. My son is deaf, none of you know sign language and I doubt you would learn.”

“Deaf? Did you not get him cochlear implants?” Elijah asked, almost disgusted. 

“No, because he is perfect the way he is. And don’t act like that after what you said.” 

Nat was already at the end of her rope, it had barely been five minutes. She doesn’t know why she thought it was a good idea. Maybe she wanted to fix that scared teenager, the one that sat in the bathroom with her best friend speechless as she stared at the two lines.

“That was eleven years ago Natasha,” Tessa sighed, acting like they hadn’t pulled the rug from under her when she needed them most. 

“He told me that if I wanted to stay at home, I had to get an abortion. And now you both want to come here and act like you give a shit?! Seriously?!”

Nat tongued her lip and shook her head. “This was a mistake…” 

“Daddy?” 

Nat’s head whipped up to see her brother holding a two year old girl.

“Yeah, princess?” 

Nat saw red.

Her brother, her nineteen year old brother, had a two year old daughter? And their parents let him stay? 

What the actual fuck?

“Oh, so Brody could have a kid in high school, but I was told to either terminate my son or get kicked out? That’s fucking rich. Tessa, Elijah, go fuck yourselves.”

Both gawked, “Excuse us?”

“You fucking heard me.”

“Look, if Brody had just left Lainey it would have ruined our reputation. Just like you being pregnant.”

Natasha laughed, “Right, right, because it’s all about the reputation or the company. Fuck you and fuck your reputation.” 

Elijah stepped forward, “But you’ve helped our reputation, have you not? With you joining the Navy and then graduating Top Gun. Being the best of the best?”

She shook her head, “I did this for me, my son, and my best friend. This reputation I’ve built is mine and mine alone. The people who disowned me aren’t allowed to enjoy my accomplishments.”

“We didn’t disown you.”

“Really? Because when Y/N and I went to pack up my stuff, Y/N found my photos in a damn box. Then out in public you ignored me. You didn’t come to my graduation after I worked my ass off! I still work my ass off!” 

She turned and looked at the squad, you and Oliver. 

“You aren’t my family.” 

Natasha pointed at the group with tears in her eyes, “They… They are my family. The family that I chose… The family that chose me.” 

She let the tears fall, “They actually love me and they love my son. They learned sign language when they didn’t have to because they love my son that much. They have supported me, sure things were bumpy in the beginning, but we came out stronger on the other side. Because we care about each other. You two care about nothing other than yourselves and I will be damned if I put my son through that.”

Tessa and Elijah were speechless, and behind them Brody and Mason had smiles on their faces – proud of Natasha for doing what they were too scared to do.

“Take your entitled asses back to North Carolina and never contact me again.”

All her parents could do was gawk and make unintelligible noises, but they didn’t move to leave.

Then you approached and they were huffing and leaving, “C’mon Brody, Mason, we’re leaving.”

Nat held her composure until her parents were gone and she just ran into the Hard Deck. 

“Tasha! Nat!” You called after her. But it was no use, she was inside the building. You sighed and hung your head, she needed time.

After talking with Mason and Brody for a few minutes, you walked down to the group.

“Hey, I need Ollie,” you said to Bradley as you got closer. He nodded and got Javy to get his attention.

When you saw him looking at you, you spoke and signed, “Mama needs you bubba.” He nodded and ran over and grabbed your hand. You smiled and led him to the Hard Deck. 

“Hey Penny, where-” “My office.” 

“Thank you.” 

You and Oliver went to Penny’s office and opened it to find Nat sobbing on the floor. 

Oliver immediately got in her lap and hugged her. Nat wrapped her arms around him, hugging him close as she cried.

You get on your knees beside her, rest back on your heels as you rub her leg. She looked up at you and you smiled softly at her. You reached up and wiped her tears gently.

“I think she’s healed now…” Nat croaked out, scratching Oliver’s head. “That scared, hurt teenager… she’s got some of her dignity back. Finally let it out…”

You smiled and kept her cheek in your palm, “I’m so proud of you, Tasha.” 

More tears filled Nat’s eyes and she started crying again as she nuzzled your hand, “Thank you, Y/N… for everything. I couldn’t have asked for a better best friend.” You nodded, smiling at her still, “Neither could I.”

taglist: @bradleybeachbabe @mayhemmanaged @kmc1989 @lovinglyeternal @horseshoegirl @cassiemitchell @fanboyswhore9 @nightowlalltheway @86laura11 @els-marvelvsp @valmare @startrekfangirl2233

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

i can not stress this enough, but whumptober can have some very serious and heavy topics and i want to make sure i am doing my part as an author to prepare my readers for what they are about to experience and that includes not only warnings above but my taglists as well

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

[sarahsmi13s]

Don't Leave Your Wingman

whumptober day 13: grief

pairing: pete 'maverick' mitchell x kazansky!reader (father figure relationship)

characters: pete mitchell, kazansky!reader, sarah kazansky

warnings: 18+ MDNI, language, mentions of cancer, canon death, death, fear of being alone, death of a parent, grief, 5 stages of grief, fear of losing family, loss of appetite, anger, mood swings, broken glass, throwing things, please let me know if I missed any

word count: ~1.8k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace

also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

i am so so sorry i got this up late, please forgive me

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: you wouldn't leave your wingman in the sky... why should you on the ground?

“It’s come back.”

One sentence. Three words.

That’s all it took for the world to crash down around you.

Your father, your best friend, your wingman, was already dying. 

But with three words he was dead and in the ground.

You started the grieving process the moment your mother told you about the results of your father’s tests. His cancer was back and this time he wasn’t fighting it. So, start grieving now so it doesn’t hurt when he passes.

It should cushion the pain right?

No.

It doesn’t.

Because when you watched Pete Mitchell slam his wings into your father’s coffin, it’s like he’s punching them right through your heart.

You thought you prepared yourself better. Thinking ahead to how everything would be different. Going through the motions of him missing so much of your life, everything he wouldn’t be a part of. You were only 21, you had so much left to accomplish and celebrate with him.

He would never walk you down the aisle at your wedding. He would never meet your kids and tell them cool stories about the famous Iceman and show them his collection of medals and patches. He would never tell them the story of how he met his best friend and wingman, the friendship’s birth captured in a photo on his desk.

He would never tell you he loved you again.

You wanted to hear it one last time… even if it was in that broken, raspy tone.

“How is she?” 

You could hear your uncle talking to your mom outside in the living room. 

It had been a few days since the funeral and you had barely left your father’s office in the living room. You barely ate, your appetite coming in and out as you went through the motions. You just sat in the office, wrapped up in his blanket with his dog tags around your neck or clenched in your hand. You were nearly numb at this point, sitting and staring at the photo of you and him at your graduation.

You had hit the “depression” part of your grieving process. Denial, anger, and bargaining had passed when you learned about the return of your father’s cancer. But you were sure they’d resurface at some point, grieving is never linear and it’s not a short lived thing. 

But when it was something that you prepared for, something that you could see coming from miles and miles away? It should be easier right?

“She doesn’t leave that chair often… I don’t blame her. But I’m worried. You and Ron have been a big help with brightening her days,” you mom said, a gentle smile on her face at Mav. 

It was true, they both had been a huge help. Just sitting with you so you weren’t alone, that you had someone in the room with you also grieving – even if it was different. Both had lost a best friend, your mom had lost a husband. She sat with you too, holding your hand and making sure you weren’t completely alone. She made sure that even though you were both grieving, that you could talk to her. 

Mav looked into the room, seeing you in that position – curled up with your dad’s dog tags in your hand, lips pressed against them as you stared out the window. 

He gave Sarah a hug before walking towards the office doors and knocking before opening it. 

“Hey kid, how can I help today?” 

You shrugged a little bit, not having the energy to do much else. You sniffled and dropped your hand to the desk, pointing to a book that was resting there, “I um… I found that while going through some of his things…”

Sniffling again, you adjusted your blanket, “I can’t bring myself to read it… it’s all in his hand writing…” Mav nodded and came over, “I can read it to you, if you want.” “Please…”

“Would you want to go out on the porch swing? Get some sun, fresh air?” You looked up at him and he could see just how tired you were. You probably got a lot more sleep than you should have, or very little sleep that wasn’t good.

You looked at the photo on your dad’s desk, seeing him smiling down at your 18 year old self in your cap and gown, diploma in your hand.

“Yeah… yeah, that sounds nice,” you said, your voice a little lighter and the ghost of a smile threatened your lips.

Mav smiled and helped you up, grabbing the book and leading you to the swing on the front porch. 

You sat down with him, resting your head on his shoulder as he put the book in his lap.

As he began to read, you both began to notice that these were your dad’s stories. Stories you had heard from him, stories you begged him to tell you no matter how many times you had heard them… All there in a book.

You cried at first, so did Mav. But as he continued, reading your dad’s words and the side commentary he never failed to add, you both started to laugh. 

It was nice to laugh, it helped you begin to feel like everything was going to be okay.

“Today will be better.” 

That’s what you told yourself when you woke up the past few days. 

You could never tell yourself that it would be great or amazing. Because you knew you couldn’t make that promise to yourself. But you could always try better, your best would always vary from day to day.

And you were doing okay. You were making it.

Until Maverick showed up in his whites.

Your heart had sunk like a brick in your stomach.

You knew what those meant.

He was going out with them on the carrier.

That’s not so bad right? He would be safe right? 

But the look on his face as he stood in front of the office's french doors told you something else.

“I was picked as team leader to fly the mission.” 

The brick in your stomach started dissolving, making your stomach acid fizz and bubble up your throat. 

You shook your head, the dusting rag and photo clenched in your fist. “No, no you’re not.. You’re not flying this mission, Uncle Mav… You-you were just supposed to teach it.. You’re a teacher!”

He mirrored your movements, “Admiral Simpson-”

“No!” 

Your shout had startled him, you hadn’t raised your voice in any capacity for a while so your outburst startled him.

“I’m sorry, kid… There’s a chance someone doesn’t make it back and I would rather it be me–”

“So you have a death wish? Is that it? Can’t go one damn day without risking your life like no one is gonna miss you if you burn in, can you?” 

Maverick was unsure how to respond to that, standing there awkwardly as you yelled at him.

“You’re selfish, you know that? The both of you, fucking selfish,” you said, your voice cracking at the end as you poked his chest with the picture frame. 

“B-both… Y/N what-”

“You’re never supposed to leave your wingman… ever. So tell me why I’ve been left behind! Why everyone is fucking leaving me?!” 

In your anger you threw the photo on the floor, glass shattering and the frame breaking apart.

“He left me and now you’re leaving me too!” 

Mav watched the tears streaming down your face as you shoved past him and ran out of the office and out of the house.

Sighing, he looked down and noticed the photo under the shards of glass was the photo of him and Ice shaking hands after saving one another on that mission after graduation. 

“You can be my wingman anytime…”

After your blow up at Maverick, you ran straight to the beach.

The second your feet hit the damp sand on the shoreline you were collapsing to your knees. 

Clutching your chest, you sobbed.

“Why?! Why couldn’t you have just fought? One more time… for me! I need you Dad! And you’re gone! You left me here! And-and now you want to take Mav with you? It’s not fair!”

You fell forward, clutching at the sand, “It’s not fair!” You sobbed, not caring if anyone around you could hear you. You were in pain, you were now not only grieving your father, but you were now going to be grieving his best friend, your friend.

A pair of gentle hands pulled you back up into a seated position on your knees.

“Sweetheart…”

“It’s not fair, Mom!” You shouted, your voice raw with tears as you looked out on the horizon before looking down at the frothing tide, “It’s not fair…” 

Sarah felt tears sting her own eyes at the utter brokenness of your voice, the rawness in it.

She pulled you into her lap, shushing you gently as you sobbed into her neck. She looked up at the sky, “You better bring him home Tommy. Don’t you leave her without a wingman.”

The next week and a half was filled with dread and worry. 

Worry that Maverick would make good on that promise of being the one to die on this mission. Worry that it would be Rooster, someone you weren’t as close to but you knew he meant a lot to Mav. Worry that you would be alone, grieving another father figure.

You barely left the office, sat there in that damn chair looking at that damn computer screen. The last words he typed on it were still displayed.

“It’s time to let go.”

The five words felt like mockery as you read them over and over and over.

How could you just “let go”? Did he really think you hadn’t tried that? Or that it was that simple?

Because it wasn’t. 

You wish you could have just accepted it, that grieving someone as they sat in front of you breathing would have made it easier. But it didn’t. 

You felt like you were on the monkey bars again, the ground miles away from you and you were scared to fall.

“How can I let go when I have no one to catch me?”

As you waited in the silence, for a response that you knew wouldn’t come, a knock sounded through the quiet house. 

Your mom had stepped out to go get stuff for dinner. So you were the only one at home.

Sniffling and turning the monitor off, you got up and went to the front door.

When you opened it, you nearly collapsed.

There on your front porch was Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell. He was scraped up a little, but he was alive.

“Mav… Mav!”

He smiled as he caught you, keeping you from falling onto the ground and holding you close as you clung onto his bomber jacket, tears staining the vinyl. 

“You’re here… you came home.”

He kissed your temple, rubbing your back and cradling the back of your head.

“Of course I did, I couldn’t leave my wingman.”

taglist: @bradleybeachbabe @mayhemmanaged @kmc1989 @lovinglyeternal @horseshoegirl @cassiemitchell @fanboyswhore9 @nightowlalltheway @86laura11 @els-marvelvsp @valmare @startrekfangirl2233

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

i can not stress this enough, but whumptober can have some very serious and heavy topics and i want to make sure i am doing my part as an author to prepare my readers for what they are about to experience and that includes not only warnings above but my taglists as well

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023