#viewer queries

[alternianewsnetwork]

did you know grumblr has like 15 fuchsias

This Information Is Verifiably False, As Only Two Fuchsiabloods Can Legally Exist At Once.

[showfall-media]

Don't fucking trust these fuckers! I complained about the water in the water fountain and they put me in a rip-off saw trap! They dunked me in Kool-Aid! My hair is still fucking red! - ☕

Hi Coffee Anon! I'm Very Sorry to hear about your Distress from this, but that Does Not sound like something we would do at Showfall Media. We don't have any Saw Traps in Showfall Media, as that would be a Copyright Issue we would have to dispute. I Do Hope you manage to wash the Red Dye out of your Hair.

Thank you for your Query !! :]

[indelicateink]

i am just so earnestly curious. i read the books a long time ago, i am struggling to put myself in the shoes of someone who doesn't know what's coming. the latest promo that has the sinister projection of L: does this come across as menacing to people who are book-innocent? do those audience members have anxiety about him showing up in paris?

i know he was fucking excoriated by a lot of viewers for season 1 and ep 5 especially (no matter one's experience with the canon), and a lot of people now despise the character.

but does like. anyone actually have concern abt the guy showing up and making trouble? it seems to be the reaction they want people to have, I'm curious if it's working?

[thewanderingmask]

hello pearlescent moon enjoyers! i come to you with a query

i know some hermits have features they prefer not to be portrayed with - i've seen pearl drawn with +Moth so i assume that is all good!

is +Wolf okay? i am a newish viewer and haven't seen double life, but i have caught bits and pieces and it seems like a fun one! with the red hood + wolfs and such

main question: how do we feel about dragon. i have no reasoning for this besides hearing her mention in a livestream once that they are her favourite animal, and dragons are rad.

[justbelievinginmagic]

im(mortal) - part 3: blurred.

pairing(s): vampire!enhypen ot7 x fem!reader. series summary: Seven souls struggle with the bitter dregs of eternal life. As they hide amongst human society, they try to discover a cure for their curse, decade after decade, century into century. In their investigations, they find more than they could imagine brewing including a strange magnetic pull towards a human woman. Will they be able to find their humanity once more or will their world crumble beneath the weight of immortality? glimpse: Jake gives into temptation and pulls his blood-brothers into his fascinations with the human woman that makes his vampiric heart beat faster than ever. warnings/tags: Inspired by Enhypen's MVs lore, Vampire AU, sort of Soulmate AU, College AU, heavy science fiction inspiration, ot7 x reader but not poly ot7 (but some are really close tbh), 3rd person POV, use of YN, Ni-ki written as Riki, mature topics, vampire typical themes, vampire lore, mentions of blood, biting, death, other vampire things, canon typical violence, descriptions of blood & sounds of blood, bloodlusting, stealing blood bags, mentions of illnesses, mentions of medicine, obsessive tendencies from Jake, lowkey stalking lets be real, flirting, suggestive themes, let me know if there needs to be more tags! word count: 8.7k previous chapter <- -> next chapter series masterlist

“According to an anonymous tip, there have been 10 confirmed cases of a novel illness with unknown etiology at Desolis General Hospital. Doctors are working quick to identify its source and possible treatment. This is a developing situation, so, as always, wash your hands and when coug-” The newscaster read off the teleprompter with little gravity to his tone. It held the same old ‘newscaster tone’ inflecting at odd moments to keep the viewers’ attention.

In the hospital’s waiting room, a normal human could barely hear it over the busy hustle and bustle. The beeping of medical equipment, the shuffling of papers, and the gossiping of the front desk admins all overlapped to make the audio nearly inaudible. The few patients waiting in uncomfortable plastic chairs had to rely on the severely delayed black-boxed subtitles popping up below the newscast. But, Jungwon could hear it. Jungwon could hear a pen drop two doors down; he could hear the phlegmy cough from the old man in the waiting room; he could hear the doctors discussing private patient information behind their closed office doors. And of course, he could hear the siren call of a hospital full of hearts. Beating, thudding, pumping, and pulsing. Nonstop. Overwhelming. Constant.

He could hear everything as he continued his night-shift on the second floor of the Desolis General Hospital. Jungwon rounded a corner, raising the surgical mask up over his nose as he rolled the freshly sanitized and plastic-sealed equipment down the hall.   

“What do you think?” a concerned voice chimed, half-muffled by the oak door Jungwon strolled past.

“I think they’re blowing it out of proportion frankly – especially with that news article,” an elderly-sounding man argued.

“What could it be then?”

“Anemia,” the man coughed after his reply. “Strange severe cases of anemia. Chest pains, shortness of breath, extreme fatigue, and even pica. Odd, yes. Novel, no.”

His tone held an air of finality. Like there was no other explanation except that.

“Ten concurring cases of low-iron deficiency, doctor?” the woman laughed in disbelief. There was a shuffle, the squeaking of leathered seat and another cough into a hanky.

“Give them -,” the man’s voice was strained, scratchy, “- a blood transfusion; prescribe iron-pills and a diet change. Bingo. All fixed.” He chortled lowly.

“Any links between the patients? Living situations, shared restaurants, or places of works? This is all just a coincidence?” she queried, unconvinced.

“None that we could find. I really think it’s just luck. Bad luck.”

Jungwon huffed, heat billowing out of his mask and into his eyes. More blood transfusions meant more of Sunghoon and Jay getting ‘dinner.” Sunghoon will hate this. While he was good at tracking and breaking and entering, he wasn’t the best with carefulness. There was an air of confidence and optimism that Jungwon just didn’t have in his slow-beating heart anymore. Mistakes were always around the corner. There had been times where Jay had to fix Sunghoon’s mess-ups. Some Jungwon told him; others he kept secret.

It’d be easier if Jungwon could just pocket a few IVs of blood. But it was too dangerous now. Ugh. So inconvenient.  

His phone vibrated in his pocket. Once, twice, three times. His brows crinkled. They know he’s working tonight. They know when his break was. (His schedule was posted on the fridge via a yellow sticky note – like always.)

So why were they texting him? And who?

It could be Sunoo. He’d been moody after dinner earlier, but Jungwon welcomed it. A sassy Sunoo was better than a despondent Sunoo after all. He’d do anything to have him be how he was before. He sighed out.

Or perhaps it was Sunghoon. He’d been practicing ice-skating lately and would send the group chat updates of his routines. He was happier now Jungwon noted. He smiled at the thought.

Pushing the cart into a darkened closet, he whipped out his phone. His face was illuminated by the blue glow.

It was neither.

It was Jay.

FYI Jake’s not home.

Well, shit.

-

“Stop digging through my head,” Sunghoon commented, the tone like a little sibling annoying his older sibling.

He passed by Heeseung without even a glance, walking from one room to the next. It nearly looked like he was floating. Too smooth and far too ethereal to look human. But then, the illusion was broken as Sunghoon’s hand rose to rub at his eye, blinking against the bright lights blearily. His glasses (yes, he was the only immortal with prescription glasses) were shifted up the bridge of his nose. He looked this way and that for his charger.

He had an essay to write, and his laptop died. You’d think with all the money Jungwon had they’d have chargers everywhere, but nope. Like any family, they’d borrow chargers and forget to give them back or move them while cleaning or have them fall behind cushions or couches.

Heeseung followed quickly behind the other man. His gaze firm as he stared down the back of Sunghoon’s head.

“You know something,” Heeseung bit out, less with venom and more with frustration.

Sunghoon had this strange ability that was nothing otherworldly, but ever-annoying for the vampire who could know anything and everything with a little mind-reading. Sunghoon was able to just babble in his brain. This and that, science ramble from his classes, his routines for ice skating, sometimes just ‘Heeseung, stop snooping’ on repeat. Anything and everything except the information Heeseung wanted to know.

“Yeah, I know something. Me, not you,” Sunghoon almost sing-songed, blank faced as he continued his search.

Sunghoon hated when Heeseung tried to look inside his brain. He’d gotten so good at avoiding his blood-brother’s skill out of pure hard-work and spite. He liked his privacy. It was hard enough to get any with six forever-roommates.

“Jake’s been acting weird since class, and he’s now nowhere around the house, and you talked to him last. I saw that,” Heeseung ranted.

That was the flicker of a memory Heeseung latched onto. Jake and Sunghoon talking only a short time ago (there was a hint of ‘I need to do my homework’ in the background of Sunghoon’s mind). Jake looked frazzled as he spoke quickly, eyes darting this way and that before he turned and walked out the door.

Meanwhile, in the present, Sunghoon focused on looking for his charger. Visualizing his charger, its white boxy form. The prongs. The twisted cord. The clear initials written in black ink.

“Stop thinking about the charger,” Heeseung complained, head tilting back in exasperation. “How are you so good at hiding your real thoughts?”

“Just to bug you, hyung,” Sunghoon said as he checked behind a pillow on the sofa. Nope, not there.

Jay, who sat on the opposite side of the sofa, raised a brow at the pair. Heeseung huffed.

“C’mon, where did he go? It’s for his safety!” Heeseung argued.

Sunghoon rolled his eyes. Jake didn’t look unsafe when he had come to him with the bribe of silence in exchange of his portion of blood. He looked restless. Mussed dark hair, his eyes glowing in the bright lights of the mansion. He even could smell fire in his hair. He’s just worked up. Sunghoon knew where he’d go when it came to frustration – the ice rink. Surely, Jake had his own place he went. It was his business. And it’d stay his business.

“He’ll be fine. He can’t hurt a fly,” Sunghoon argued, waving a hand in nonchalance before checking behind another pillow.

Jay stood, and glanced behind the pillow he had been squishing. Nope, nothing. Sunghoon ran a tongue over his fangs, restlessly. God, where did he put his charger? Did someone move it?

“Jay, tell him that it’s for the safety of the flock for him to tell me where Jake went,” Heeseung looked towards the other for support.

Jay glanced over the vampire men; their emotions easy to read like the aroma of scented candles. Frustration, deep and nutty, filled his senses; concern that tasted like too-strong brewed tea burned in the back of his throat; doubt that was icy cool like chewing gum hit like a wave.

Sunghoon gave Jay a look; one that was half pleading, half annoyed.

“He’s not gonna do anything,” Sunghoon sighed out, trying to defend Jake.

“Jay,” Heeseung huffed again. His chin tilted as he looked over at his blood-brother despairingly.

There wasn’t any deception. Jay knew the taste of that; salty as sorrow but with the bitter bite of sulfur. Guilt. Deception. Whatever you’d call it. It was vacant.

“He’s telling the truth, Seungie,” Jay conceded, returning to his seat, and swinging his laptop over his knees. “He really doesn’t think there is any danger.”

“He’s a kid,” Heeseung cried out.

“Really can’t keep playing that card,” Sunghoon sighed out, plopping down besides Jay. “We’re over a hundred years old now, you know?”

“Niki,” Heeseung called out instead, turning towards the stairwell.

“I didn’t take his charger!” It was immediately yelled back. Almost too quick.

Jay could smell the salty, volcanic ash of a lie. He laughed under his breath, shaking his head.

“You did steal it!” Sunghoon complained. “Give it back now. What the heck, Riki?”

“No, come here,” Heeseung demanded instead. “I need you to go get Jake.”

“Is that necessary?” Jay asked tentatively.

Jay’s face was one of concern now, a grimace falling over his face as he was once again pulled from his computer science assignment. He pushed his laptop onto the coffee table.

“Sunghoon would’ve stopped him; this is a little… much,” Jay commented.

Heeseung raised a brow, questioningly. It was for their safety…right? Jungwon would agree if he was here. He would! Besides… Riki loved a good game of hide and go seek.

There was a soft lulling in Heeseung’s veins, something that said everything was fine. Everything was fine. Deep breath, lavender haze.

“Jay!” he exclaimed out; anger fizzing over Jay’s tongue at Heeseung’s rapid shift in emotions. “Don’t use your powers against me.”

“Don’t use them against them,” Jay warned, brows raised. He looked at Sunghoon as if he was example A.

There was a sag in Heeseung’s shoulders before he turned to face the youngest of them, leaning over the stairs’ banister. A sharp smile bit at Riki’s face.

“Jake is hiding?” he wiggled his brows.

Sighing at the youngest’s excitement sweet on his tongue, Jay turned back to his coding. With Riki intrigued, they’d never be able to stop him now. He loved his freedom too much.

“You think you’ll be able to find him?” Heeseung asked, but when he spoke to Riki, there was a change in tone.

A challenge. Playful. Less like an older brother and more like a friend.

“Give me a few hours and he’ll be back here,” Riki promised.

“Hours don’t mean anything to a boy who can stop time,” Sunghoon commented. He made a grabby hand towards Riki who tossed the lost-stolen-borrowed charger his way.

“You want to take up the challenge instead, tracker?” Heeseung retorted.

Sunghoon’s hands raised in defense. He hated being defined by his ‘skills’, and Heeseung knew it. “Have fun, Riki.”

The youngest laughed out, a mouth full of fangs as he grinned. He never got to do anything fun nowadays. This will be a good hunt.

“Go find him and bring him back before Jungwon gets home.” 

Riki offered the three vampires a salute before, in a flash, he was gone.

-

As night fell, a storm crawled into the city. Rolling clouds of thunder and lightning crashed over the tall skyscrapers and stacked-upon-stacked buildings. The smell of petrichor engulfed the streets as rain poured and trickled down the pavement in rivulets. Even amongst the heavy downpour, Jake could still smell her, hear her, feel her. His hand rose to press against his chest, tugging at his hoodie to feel his heart race. It was like something he had never felt before. Amazed and bewildered, he stared at her from his spot in the woods.

Her heart pulsed in a quick beat, but the melody was becoming familiar to him. Why could he hear her so well? He had no idea. But what he did know was that there was a rush of calm seeing her safe and dry beneath the bus stop’s awning. Her heart was racing, but it wasn’t from fear. All she was doing now was scrolling through her phone, shifting to glance up and down the street every so often. Aware. But even then, she didn’t see him, hidden in the brush.

Dark overgrown bushes and thick pine-tree trunks kept him covered and hidden from her watchful gaze. The rain pitter-pattered, making the dirt beneath his feet muddy. His hoodie had been pulled up over his head (despite the umbrella in his hand that he had taken from the foyer of the mansion.) but he still felt droplets of water hit his face.

He didn’t want her to see him.  He didn’t want to scare her. He just wanted to admire. To observe? He didn’t know. He just had to see her.

Jake’s head lulled to rest against a nearby tree as he felt the breath of life tumble through him. Sweat had dried on his neck earlier, and now it tingled in the cool humid air. When was the last time he got chills from the air? His mouth watered at the tempting smell of her, but the hunger always clawed in the pit of his stomach. It wasn’t new. Yes, their Heartbeat was a new addition but… he could admire not obsess. He’d ignore his hunger, the Beast, the bite of his fangs. He didn’t want to bite her. He did, but… he didn’t. It didn’t make sense in his head. He felt dizzy. The streetlights flickered.

Her siren-heart calmed him into a whirl, losing his thoughts. Her heart was pretty, he decided. Was it delirium? Was he being driven mad by the thu-thump-thu-thumping that hadn’t left his eardrums since she was introduced to him that evening? Obsession? Fascination? Insanity? Jake didn’t know.

“I knew it was a crush,” a voice whispered into Jake’s ear.

Jolting out of his state, the brush around them rustled. Riki let out a laugh as he stumbled back. His fangs gleamed in the glow of the streetlights. His hair and clothes were just a smidge wet; the faint staining of raindrops on is broad shoulders as he giggled jovially at his blood-brother. He looked at him with a knowing, prideful look.

After all, Riki had won the game. He found Jake.  

“Wait – what?” Jake processed Riki’s words. “No, no, it's not a crush.”

It was something different. He didn’t have a word for it. Something animalistic. Uncontrollable. A pull in his gut. His heart?

Besides, the vampire flock didn’t do crushes. How was a mortal supposed to mingle with immortals? It was a fool’s errand. Jungwon had always warned against it.

“You’re literally stalking her, bro,” Riki commented, his laughter dying down as he took a few steps forward.

“I’m not! I’m just—” Jake reached out to stop the younger from going any further, not wanting her to spot them. “- curious.”

“Uh-huh.” Riki replied, unconvinced as he sidestepped Jake’s grasp. “Relax! She can’t see us.”

It’s only then Jake processed that the world had quieted, zapping away all sound (except for her heart beat, because, of course, it defied even their strange powers). Thu-thump-thu-thump-thu-thump, it kept him company as he glanced around.

Droplets of water sparkled, frozen still in the air like a million diamonds. The approaching bus down the street was stagnant as it froze through a puddle, a snapshot of a splash erupting from its wheels. He hadn’t been sucked into one of Riki’s time freezes in a long time. They hadn’t needed them, and Riki was often exhausted by them, no matter how good he got at his trick.

“Why are you even here?” Jake asked, confused and a flash of worry curdled through him. “Are you good? Around her?”

That annoyed Riki, his lips curling up into a sneer. He felt like he will never escape the title of baby, of wild, of ‘bloodthirsty.’ Even now, Jake was looking after him – when Riki was the one on the search for him! Jake was the one that was supposedly not good right now. Yet still… they asked if he was okay. It annoyed him.

Pushing past the bushes and bramble, Riki flashed Jake a smile, too mischievous to feel comfortable. Jake was quick to follow, getting thwapped by stray ferns Riki had just pushed aside.

“Wait—Riki,” Jake called out.

Prowling closer to her, Riki glanced over her features. Frozen perfectly in place, YN had been scrolling through her phone, glassy eyes unseeing in the time freeze. The younger vampire squatted to meet her eyeline. Hooded eyes examined her. The glow of the phone lit up her face in a blue glow. Pretty eyes, he thought.

“Cute,” Riki commented to Jake. A hand reached out to fiddle with her hair, watching it bounce back into its place as soon as he stopped touching it. He pushed it aside to glance at the column of her throat. “Pretty neck.”

Riki sent a look at Jake, his tongue flicking to touch one fang. Teasingly.

“Stop it,” Jake commanded, his brows furrowing as he walked closer.

Her heart hadn’t accelerated; the thu-thump melody steady as beating drum. But his anxiety rose. He didn’t like Riki so close. The way his fangs peeked out as he smiled up at her.

Riki hadn’t taken to vampirism with kindness. He’d tried to drain one of their own after all – he had drained countless humans throughout the years. Whether it was for control or lack of thereof, his violence peaked while with Heeseung. Alone in their little shabby apartment, he had become something akin to a nightmare. Humans dropped like flies in the city they terrorized; mystery animal attacks some said. Rumors of myths and legends bloomed. Jake didn’t think Riki ever really evolved past that. (Not like himself, of course. He had been good. He had never drained another human like the night of his turning. He refused. He had control. Riki didn’t.)

That control edged and tickled at the back of his brain as he saw Riki’s fingers stroke over her neck, tauntingly. His eyes were heavy-lidded as he glanced over his shoulder at the other. A curl of a smirk on his fangs. Jake let out a low chitter, the sound animalistic in his throat. A warning to the other to stop.

Riki’s gaze fell into crescent moons. His cheeks softening as he let out a laugh, his hand fell away and he stepped back. Rising to his full height, he let out a laugh.

“I’m kidding,” he stressed.

Jake didn’t find it funny. His eyes flickered back to her. Her heart thudded in his chest. He sighed.

“She is pretty, though. What’s up with you two if it’s not a crush?” Riki’s chin rose towards Jake in acknowledgement.

It wasn’t a crush, Jake insisted.

“We’re nothing,” Jake insisted. “She’s just weird. I—”

The vampire faltered looking over her once more. It was strange to see no breath tumble from her mouth and yet the growing-familiar heart beat remained. He swallowed.

“I can hear her heart. Loudly. I heard it from class; I heard it walking home; I heard it at home. No matter how far I go, it’s there. She’s there. Even now, it’s beating fast.”

Thu-thump. Thu-thump. Thu-thump.

She stared onwards at the potential danger in front of her. Jake huffed through his nose, glancing away from her innocent face.

Riki tilted his head at his blood-brother, almost puppy like. That was weird. His bloody-red eyes flashed to the human once more. She looked normal. He had seen plenty of pretty girls. Plenty of human girls that he bit into without a care in the world. They bled all the same. Their hearts teased and tempted. A constant fight in his soul. One that he oftentimes lost.

But now that he was staring at her – Riki felt something. Or really, he felt nothing. The rage that often shadowed him was absent, leaving him feeling breathless. His stomach wasn’t cramping; there wasn’t the constant itching in his veins to bite, bite, bite, drink, drink, drink. It was just… gone. Paused in the presence of this weird mortal.

His smolder, the heavied lidded look and taunting raise of his brows that often was tacked onto Riki’s face, dropped. A youthful look of surprise, of relief, and of confusion flickered over his face in a kaleidoscope. Parted pout, raised brows, and large eyes, he looked an image of the same little boy who had entered the orphanage and couldn’t say his own name without stuttering.

It felt so freeing to not be bounded by the Beast he realized. But also, dreadfully grounding because… he had committed so many beastly things. Drained so many humans without a second thought, all in the name of that hunger. A hunger gorged by the simple presence of this human girl.

Weird. Bad. Bad. Bad.

He didn’t know what was bad – the situation, the woman… or himself.

Riki took an uncertain step back. Throat tight, a horrible maelstrom of upset tumbled up his throat. Was he going to be sick? Everything felt overwhelming.

“Riki?” Jake asked, sensing the sudden combustion of something within the younger.

Was he going to pounce on the girl, his Heart? No. No. He wouldn’t let that happen. (If anyone was going to taste her blood, it’d be him – a Beast within Jake’s mind growled out).

His hand went to Riki’s shoulder, only for the younger to pull away with vigor. Stumbling back, his electrified eyes met Jake’s. Fright riddled his features as he felt himself fall away into a flurry of bats. His fingers holding their world in a pause unraveled with his composure. And the world rushed into a bloom of life.

The downpour resumed in a flood; the bus down the street honked to life as it slammed through a puddle. A wave of dirtied water splashed onto the pavement. Cars, electricity, the chitter of the light beside the bus-stop all joined the ever-present melody of their fast-beating heart.

Jake stumbled back from her, back hitting the bus stop’s support with a metal thunk.

YN’s head snapped to the side as she let out a small yelp. Wide eyes met his. Her body curled into herself as she jumped, startled.

“Woah, when did you get here?” she exclaimed.

He was like a ghost! She hadn’t heard anyone approaching; it was scary to know she could be snuck up on so suddenly. Her heart had jittered even faster. Jake fell into its warmth – his cheeks hot, his neck hot around her.

“Just now,” he lied, flashing a charming smile as his hand rose to rub that back of his neck.

He hadn’t planned on this – he wasn’t going to approach her. He just had wanted to see her, examine her. What was special about her? Something had to be if even Riki ran away from her.

Jake stepped out of the rain and under the cover of the bus stop, damp from the rain now.

“Sorry for scaring you,” he bumbled out, his tone gentle and kind. The lamp-glow made his skin golden and warm. The raindrops clinging to his skin looked like sparkling gems.

Taking in his soft features, she nodded slowly. “Its fine,” she acquiesced. “I’ve got to pay more attention,” she instead lamented, trying to ease him.

His – or was it hers – heart bloomed, fluttering at a butterfly’s wings pace.

Swallowing down his burning throat, he smiled.

“Jake, right?” she clarified.

As if she’d forget him. The pretty boy who had helped give her notes but also ran out like she was some plague.

“Yeah, yeah.”

As if he’d forget her. The bite of her name in between his jaw was so tasty.

Their hearts beat in tandem, and he couldn’t help but breath out in wonder. With a wet splash, the bus pulled up to the bus stop.

“Oh, this is my bus; is it yours?” she asked, nudging her thumb towards it.

Jake could get lost in her heartbeat- the tantalizing newness of it, the melody that was siren-like and yet soothing in his veins.

“Uh, huh,” he replied, blood-struck staring at her. He blink, blink, blinked. “Yeah.”

No, it wasn’t. But he couldn’t help but accept, couldn’t help but want to be around her. Like the seas being controlled by the moon, she was a magnetic force. It was something so new, so strange. So addictive.

YN fiddled with the strap of her bag as she stood. He didn’t move to go ahead of her and, so, she walked ahead, climbing the steps of the bus with familiarity. A cool rush of air-conditioned air kissed her skin and made him shiver. He actually shivered! When was the last time he felt cold? She swiped her bus pass; he paid the few dollars with a flash of his (read: Jungwon’s) credit card.

The bus was full - a blurred symphony of heart beats. All supporting the main melody of his Heart; her Heart. He didn’t even care for them; she was the focus. There were only two spots left, tucked into the back of the bus. YN took her spot, closest to the rain dropped window. The warmth of the engine radiated through the seat and made her feel safe and cozy.

Jake paused in the middle of the walkway as he looked side to side. There weren’t any other spots. Was it okay if he joined her? Was it creepy or stalking like Riki had said? Before he could contemplate his morals or if he was too much of this or that, she patted the seat beside her.

YN’s gaze locked with his, with blushed cheeks that he wanted to bite, kiss, soothe, feel. Jake swallowed but his feet moved on demand, tugged by the invisible string on his slow-beating heart. He settled in beside her. Hot. Cold. There was the clash, crawling over his skin and into his cells. He took a small breath in, hoping it didn’t sound too shuddering as it felt. His lungs burned, but he wanted more His hands rubbed over his jeaned knees before one hand combed through his lightly-damp locks.

The bus shivered and jolted as it began its route once more. Well, now he was stuck on a bus. All he had wanted to do was see her. He glanced her way, looking at her from the corner of his eye. Everyone else on the bus were on their phones. Should he be? Her hand still held her phone, limp in her lap as she looked out the foggy window.

He felt out-of-place. Like a fish out of water. Like a bat in daylight.  

“What’s your major?” She asked after a while, glancing his way.

 Her smile was sweet and dull.

“Lit,” he replied with a grin of his own. His smile was sharp and sincere. “You?”

“Still figuring it out,” she admitted, stretching her limbs and glancing away in thought. “Thinking about nursing, maybe.”

There was a soft huff in her tone as she looked his way once more. “Mom was a nurse. Dad was a doctor. His dad was a doctor. And his dad was a doctor. And her mom was nurse. Blah, blah, blah.” She rolled her eyes lightly. “It’s been pushed on me since I could walk.” She laughed.

It mingled with her heartbeat so beautifully, he thought. He chuckled out, echoing her soft laughter.

“What do you want to do with lit? Write? Or teach?”

He didn’t know. Jake couldn’t focus. Or was it the heat in his cheeks that made his head feel lopsided? His stomach clenched, but it wasn’t from hunger. His heart raced and raced. Everything felt more, more than it already did. He used to be able to see the world in microscopic sense, but now it all seemed hazy, haloing her. He could just see her, high definition.

She was looking at him, not too worrisome thankfully. He felt like he looked crazy but, in her eyes, he was just bumbling, shy, sweet. His hands rubbed his knees gently, nervous. Long fingers fiddling over the fabric clumsily. It was cute.

“Not sure yet,” he admitted, soft voiced. “I just liked reading.”

He swallowed. She swallowed. He could see the pulse of her heart in her throat. The Beast itched under his skin. Just a taste, just a little bit. No.

He glanced away.

“I-Are you from around here?” he asked.

“No, no,” she shook her head. “I’m from Riverfield. In the country. I have an apartment in the city while I’m in school. What about you?”

Jake nodded, focusing on her words. “I share a home with some friends.” The fib has rolled off his tongue before; it was second-nature. “Over on the west end of the city.”

“That’s, uh, in the completely opposite direction,” she noted. This bus was going towards the east, deeper into the city’s depths.

Her uncertainty tinkled out; her finger fiddled with the side of her phone.

“I’m visiting a friend,” he made up.

“Oh.”

Before another silence could crash over them, Jake added. “My friend is a nursing major. He’s in the same class as us.”

“Oh, cool,” she replied with a smile. “Maybe I’ll see if he likes the program next class.”

“Yeah,” he murmured.

The lull that followed felt like forever. Jake felt like a live-wire. His body buzzed. His heart raced. Her closeness only made him feel hotter and hotter. The bus lights flickered. His eyes flashed to them; the fluorescents burning brighter at his gaze. His breath shuddered. Was that because of him? He needed to control himself. Why did he feel so different? Alive? It was scary. Jake’s teeth nibbled into his cheek; the lights shuddered.

The bus braked harshly, suddenly. His arm immediately reached out across her, protecting her as they jerked forward. Her body slammed into his long arm, and he kept her steady. He swore his heart skyrocketed. Dilated eyes met hers. Her own eyes looked startled as she let go of his arm. When had she grasped onto him? Did she feel this pull too? He let out a soft breath.

“Thanks,” YN replied as she leaned back into her chair; the bus had moved normally, driving through the streets once more.

“No problem,” he breathed. He finally lowered his arm.

His ears felt burning. Jake scratched at the back of his neck. He probably seemed so strange… He had to not be so weird. How? How?

“Did you decipher my notes?” he wondered.

Blush. She blushed. Blush, blush, blush. Her cheeks hot and red and bite-able like a red apple. He felt his throat burn but he only fell more into his racing heart as she smiled. Her smile was so pretty.

“Not all of them,” she admitted with a chuckle.

“Let me help.” He offered. “We’re both here.”

She adjusted her phone, raising it, and swiping through it with ease. “I guess.”

He scooted closer, his cologne flooding her senses. There was a hint of rainwater in his hair that dripped onto her; it felt like it sizzled on her bare skin. Jake pointed at words here and there, helping breakdown his writing.

“You’d think with having doctors as parents I’d be able to decipher any sort of handwriting,” she joked.

“Nah; mine looks ancient,” he replied cooly. “I don’t blame you. It’s my fault. Here – that says ‘would be promising’.” He sounded a bit uncertain, but his gaze flickered back to her with a wide-eyed innocence. He was sweet. Helpful. Even if he felt like he was burning up inside, she felt the same thing. Her arms tingled. Her heart thudded fast.

The rest of the bus drive was spent huddled closer. Their arms brushed against one another; their breaths shared as they slide through picture after picture, analyzing their notes together. The bus rolled to a stop, and she glanced up.

“This is my stop,” she announced, gathering her bag from the ground.

Standing, she goes to slide her phone into her pocket before pausing. “Can we exchange numbers?” she asked, looking down at him.

His heart was pounding. Or was it her heart? He couldn’t tell. But he couldn’t help but feel the buzz; the hum of excitement. That’s what this was. He wanted to keep talking. Learning more about this strange woman. Why did her heart sing for him? Why did it feel like it was their heart? He wanted to know why she was so special?

“Just in case I need more deciphering expertise,” she teased, her hand outstretched her phone his way and he took it carefully.

Rain poured harder as he typed his name and number into her contacts. There was a grumble from the bus driver, impatient, but, at this point in the night, there were few passengers on board. The bus was coming to its last few stops. The rain thudded against the metal roof of the bus in a downpour, fogging the view of the apartment complex.

Jake nudged her with his umbrella, getting her attention once more. He looked up at her with such a kind smile, his cheeks sweet and soft despite the sharpness of his lips and teeth. Her phone was outstretched her way, as well as the handle to an umbrella.

“Here. And take my umbrella,” he encouraged.

“Seriously?” she exclaimed, taking her phone back. His name ‘Jake’ stared back simply… she was going to add an emoji later (maybe a beating heart since her heart seemed to act up around him.) Her heart was pounding even now. All he was doing was being sweet, and yet she felt like she was going to pass out.

“Its pouring, YN,” he glanced out the nearby window. “Please.”

He nudged the umbrella her way again. Their fingers brushed, and electricity flared between them. Skin-to-skin contact, it made his cells burn bright and vibrant. So bright that the bus’s lights went out in a pop. Startling the passengers, even Jake jumped in his spot.

“Goddammit,” the bus driver cursed out.

The pair had jumped apart. YN was a few steps back; Jake was pressed deep into his seat, hand pressed to his chest. It tingled still.

“This bus is like a danger-zone,” YN joked, glancing upward at the sizzling lights. “Thank you. For the umbrella… I’ll give it back in class?”

He let out a laugh, airy and disbelieving.

“Yeah. No worries really. Yeah.” He sounded flustered.

“Yeah,” she smiled as she continued walking backwards. “Be safe.”

She waved lightly as she exited the bus. A soft goodnight on her tongue to the befuddled bus driver before she walked through the downpour. His umbrella shielding her from the rain as she rushed towards the complex.

He watched all along. The lights of the bus flickered on again, slowly at the rhythm of their heart beat.

She was something special.

Once her apartment door closed behind her, YN screeched.

Her hands going to hide her face. He is so cute! Her heart was about to explode. Jake had been drooled over by all the girls at school. He looked like a model, acting aloof, was probably rich. But here… oh he was just a kind guy. He was sweet and helpful. He lent her his umbrella. She squealed again.

Sighing out dream-struck, she walked through her apartment, shedding her jacket and tossing it on the nearby couch. Dinner first – maybe a shower to warm her up. But, she was so warm now, her body buzzing with butterflies. She couldn’t help but dance about as she prepared a simple dinner of left overs, making sure to pour out her pills out onto a napkin, so she wouldn’t forget to take them… again.

-

Jake had escaped the bus finally at the next stop, wriggling past the last few passengers before walking through an unfamiliar cityscape before finding the forest’s edge. It was then he disappeared into the skies in a flurry of bats.

He whooshed into human form at the front door of their home. Riki leaned up against the doorway. He looked disheveled.

“Where did you go?” Jake exclaimed. “You totally ditched me.”

Riki’s face turned red as he glanced aside. “You were the one that wanted to see her so badly. So, you got to.” His retort was childish, defensive as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“I scared her,” Jake retorted.

“You were stalking her,” Riki said blankly.

“We were,” Jake argued. That wasn’t any better. He shook his head lightly, damp hair flicking water onto the younger. Riki flinched and made a fuss. “You were the one to get so close.” Jake said simply.

Riki tried to shrug nonchalantly as he turned on his heel to unlock the front door and walk inside.

“You got to talk to her, didn’t you? Do you have her number now?” Riki teased.

Their brotherly back and forth was cut short at the sight of the flock all gathered in the nearby living room. Including Jungwon.

“Where have you two been?” Jungwon bit out. His brow furrowed; a mimicry of a father scorned.

“Hey dad,” Riki teased, raising his brows at him before plopping down on the couch besides Sunoo. The pair shared a look. Riki curled his legs into his chest, arms going to lock around them.  

“I’ve been texting you, calling you; I was close to emailing you,” Jungwon continued, emphasizing each option. His own fangs were flashing in the bright lights of the mansion as he crossed his arms. “Where were you?”

“No where,” Jake said, his voice trailing off as he walked further into the room. All eyes rested on him, looking him up and down.

“Jake,” Heeseung was the one to speak up, raising a brow from his spot beside Sunghoon. His tone was warning.

“She’s fine. I’m fine. Niki is fine,” Jake gestured to their youngest who flashed a peace sign. Jay looked over Riki carefully, tilting his head at what he felt.

“Everything’s fine,” Jake finished.

Jungwon sent a disapproving look at the other. This was a definite scolding and Jake’s high from being around her dulled. He sat down on the opposite side of Sunoo who squeezed his knee reassuringly.

None of them liked being scolded – it reminded them of the nurses and doctors and orphanages.

“You know what happened last time one of us had a control problem,” Jungwon lamented.

It sent a heaviness over the flock. They all looked aside. Sunoo frowned and hid into his arms. He wished he had his teddy bear in this moment.

Jungwon didn’t understand Jake. Jake out of everyone should know this. He had sworn to never hurt someone again after his change. Why was he playing with fire? Running around, chasing, stalking a human!

Jake played with a frayed edge on his jeans.

“Yeah, look at Sunoo. He’s had more problems than any of us with humans, but you’d be happy if he was out and about.” Jake muttered out dejectedly.

His words weren’t sharp but they still stung. Both Sunoo and Jungwon. Sunoo’s grimace grew.

“No, I wouldn’t.” Jungwon argued.

Sunoo’s face screwed into a displeased scowl, curling more into Riki as they spoke of his shortcomings. He had been in a good mood, and it was quickly fizzling out. He wanted to go up to his room. He was tempted to just fly there.

“I’d be careful. We know these things are delicate.” Jungwon argued.

“Jay too.” Jake pointed out, frowning and gesturing at the vampire. “He hates humans, but you encourage him to try to take classes to get used to them! What’s so different about me going to see her?” Jake argued with upturn brows.

Why was he being targeted? He’d been good. So, what if he messed up and set some lights up in a blaze earlier? He was fine with her. He sat next to her for over thirty minutes, and he didn’t bite her. He had control. He had control. Nothing went wrong!

“You purposely went after her,” Jungwon stressed. “Without telling us.”

“He told me,” Sunghoon mumbled, raising his knee to his chest casually. Heeseung slapped his arm. The glasses-wearing vampire shrugged

“What is so interesting about her, Jake?” Jungwon sighed out, sitting down on the couch with a huff.

“She’s just… different,” Jake mumbled. Riki nodded nearby.

“I’m not going to hurt her. I swear it. I just… am intrigued by her.” Jake promised.

There was a disbelieving lull in the room, but Jungwon sighed out, head tilting back and with reluctance the argument was over. Mostly at the exhaustion of fighting with them. He didn’t want to fight. His shoulders sagged.

“Fine.” He mumbled.

Jake nodded firmly, devoutly. He wouldn’t hurt her. Not his Heart.

His phone buzzed.

‘Hey Jake! It’s YN.’

His grin was blinding, and it caught the attention of every single vampire in the room.

 -

It was the next class, and Jake was excited. His stomach was in butterflies; his heart thumping eagerly. Maybe it was her heart too. Their Heart, he had begun to think. The week had been a long one – one full of strange observations. His heart was more active than ever. It was no longer slow and steady but a constantly changing beating thing. It lit his cells alight and he felt more alive than ever.

His heart acted up more when he texted her. They spoke of his notes at first. Then the class itself but then they had already jumped to good morning and good night texts. He knew she was watching a new drama. She knew he liked hip-hop and he had made a Spotify playlist for the pair of them to add new songs for one another. It was nice. It was more than nice. Jake loved having a new friend for the first time in literally decades.

He had texted her that he was on the way to the lecture hall and to save him a seat – something he added after his stomach roiled in nerves for over five minutes.

As he opened the doors to the lecture hall, he was shellshocked to see Jungwon and Heeseung already there. And sandwiched in between them was YN. Jake flushed red, his skin turning a pleasant tawny pink. Was it embarrassment or anger or jealousy? He couldn’t tell. He felt overwhelmed and hot at the sight of YN giggling at Jungwon’s words. The flock leader smiled at her, sweet cheeks pillowing in bashfulness.  

‘Why are they here!?’ Jake whined internally.

‘Jealous much?’ Heeseung raised his brows, teasingly, as he communicated telepathically with Jake.

Jake glared at the other before his eyes softened as he glanced over at YN. Her hair was so pretty, haloed in the setting sun. Everything was a pretty orange-bright in the lecture hall; the windows in the back painting the room in a sunset glow. Licking his lips and swallowing down the dryness of hunger-thirst and anxiety (both only making the scratchiness of his throat worse).

“Hey Jake,” she beamed over as he began to climb the stairs to the trio. Her desk-table had been tugged out already and her notebook splayed open.

“Hi,” he greeted, still far from their seats. “You’ve met Jungwon and Heeseung I see.” He smiled, albeit a bit forced.

Jungwon was leaned in close to YN, his elbow on the armrest closest to her. He flashed Jake a smile full of fangs. If Jake wouldn’t tell him what was so different about the human, he was determined to find out himself. That’s what Jungwon did best – investigate. Investigate and protect. He’d do anything to know things in advance so that he and his blood-brothers would never be caught off guard again. They’d never be hurt like that again.

And so, he investigated. Looked her up on social media, searched her name in search engines. And it all came back normal. A good student, a few parties on her Instagram, photos of aesthetically pleasing country sides and forests. A small town almost country girl turned big city college student.

She was debating about a nursing major. That was something she told him as she sat down, asking who was the nurse. He liked her boldness and he told her what he thought honestly. He mentioned the long hours of interning. She was empathetic, kind at his struggles. Her hand had squeezed his as if it’d comfort him and he swore there was an electric shock.

But other than that… she was normal.

‘What are you doing?’ Jake exclaimed at Heeseung.

‘Getting to know your hyperfixation,’ Heeseung argued back.

‘But-‘ there was a pettiness and possessiveness. ‘She’s mine! My Heart.’

‘You texted her nonstop, you giggle at every message – what’s so interesting? We wanted to know.’

‘Ive only known her for a week, hyung! Don’t scare her away.’

‘We aren’t! Theyre talking about nursing and doctor stuff.’

“Heeseung?”

Heeseung blinked, sound coming back into focus as her call. He had been so focused on their conversation, a telepathic effort that he hadnt heard her call his name twice. He looked to her. Her smile was sweet as she repeated the question.

“What’s your major?” she asked. “Sorry for not asking earlier. Jake had hyped up Jungwon’s major.”

“You’re okay,” he reassured her with a charming grin. “I’m a music major.”

“Oh wow!” she exclaimed. “That’s so cool. What’s, like, your thing? Is it more traditional music or-?” she trailed off, giving him the floor to talk.

“I started off with the piano,” he said. “We all did,” he admitted, glancing at Jake and Jungwon. “I like songwriting the most compared to instrumentals.”

He preened at her reaction, hearing how she awed and flustered at the thought of a poetic man. He smiled. There was a passing thought, did they grow up together?

Her gaze flickered to Jake as he plopped his bag down and sat down next to Heeseung. His bag hit the motorcycle visor besides Heeseung’s foot.

“What motorcycle do you have?” she asked.

“You want a ride?” he teased, staring her down. Charming, flirtatiously.  

Her cheeks flushed, and he grinned. He heard Jungwon’s playful disagreement, an internal roll of his eyes. Jake’s outraged ‘What?’ But Heeseung realized… he hadn’t heard her thoughts. He swallowed. Leaning closer, he stared at her with his entrancing eyes. She giggled a bit and shifted her gaze away.

Nothing… still.

“I was just curious. Jake took the bus the other day – do you all ride motorcycles?” she asked instead, looking over at Jungwon. 

Heeseung chuckled, a bit distressed as he looked over at Jake. A flash of insecurity twinkled in his eyes.

‘What’s up?’ Jake asked silently.

‘I can’t hear her thoughts.’ His telepathic freak out made Jake’s brows crinkle in confusion.

“Only Heeseung is the daredevil.” Jungwon replied.

There was a polite hum from the very man mentioned before YN’s eyes widened.

“Oh, Jake, before I forget, I have your umbrella!” she exclaimed, reaching into her bag.

As she ducked her head, Jake and Jungwon mouthed words at each other quickly. Mostly in surprise, wondering what was wrong with Heeseung. He seemed so out of it. Starstruck. When her head popped back up and her hand held a transparent umbrella, they both smiled at her, close lipped.

“That’s my umbrella,” Jungwon commented, raising a brow at Jake. “I was looking for it a few days ago and you said you didn’t know where it—"

“Whoops,” Jake charmed as he took hold of the outstretched umbrella.

“Well, thank you again – and to you too, Jungwon,” she acquiesced, glancing at him with a gentle gratefulness.

He felt a whirl in his stomach, and he couldn’t help the bright almost youthful grin from tumbling to his lips.

“Its no problem,” he replied.

‘Whipped.’ Heeseung teased even in his distress.

‘Do you want to ride?’ Jungwon teased back, his gaze hardening as he looked over at Heeseung. Heeseung raised his brows, biting his lip with a fang before looking back at his phone. Trying to process the strangeness in his head. He tried hearing her thoughts now, focusing on her. But it felt like the more he focused on her, the more distant her thought became. It was something he had never experienced before.

More students were tumbling in now, making the room louder and louder. Both with their thoughts and their conversations. Their own conversation steered towards the class, their workloads, even the weather. Normal and easy things. Every now and then, Jake would ask about something they texted like if she liked this song or that song. Heeseung continued to try to hear her thoughts, staring her down when she wasn’t looking. YN could feel his gaze still, a constant light blush on her cheeks at the attention. Jungwon observed her as well.

He observed and investigated. Looking over her phone when it buzzed, showing her texts between her and her friends. She was going to a party this weekend it looked like. A reminder to go get groceries today was set. A reoccurring alarm that read ‘take medicine (don’t turn off and think you’ll remember go take them now)’ had a pop up from earlier in the day in her notifications.

While she was cute and polite, he still didn’t quite get it. She wasn’t other-earthly. Yes, his heart seemed to thud faster around her. Which hadn’t happened before. And sure, the world slowed and seemed calm and not as overwhelming. Okay, it was strange. She was strange. But still, utterly normal.

After the class and after they packed up their bags, she said goodbye to Jungwon and Heeseung easily with a little wave, standing close to Jake. The soft fluffy haired vampire adjusted his backpack as he waited patiently for her. Jungwon noticed that. He seemed calmer now – not unhinged like last week. Maybe she was okay with him, he pondered. His head tilted as he looked at Jake.

“You’re not coming with us?”

Jake shook his head, swallowing albeit a bit nervously. “We’re going to go study.” He said.

“There’s a new coffee-shop down the street,” YN told them. “Jake saw it and said we should go there.”

‘You like her.’ Heeseung stated simply, telepathically.

Jake’s cheek burned a pretty-red, and that was his answer.

“See you later then,” Heeseung leewayed for Jungwon who despite his best efforts still clung to his worry.

There was always a hint of guilt, a hint of worry for his friends. Even now, after a hundred years. He just wanted them safe. Heeseung knew that.

Heeseung also wanted all of them to be happy. And he knew Jungwon wanted that too, deep down.

With an arm thrown around Jungwon’s shoulder, the two were off, heading up the stairs of the lecture hall to the upper exits.

“Your friends are really nice,” they heard YN say to Jake softly. “They saw me sitting by myself and joined me.”

“They didn’t bug you?” Jake asked gently.

“No way. Jungwon told me all about his nursing job and the program here. He was really helpful. He offered to give me a tour if I wanted it. Heeseung was nice too. He’s funny.”

Jungwon and Heeseung preened, hearing her even as they continued to walk further and further away.

“They’re like my brothers,” Jake chuckled. “I know they can come off strong, but they mean well.”

“They were nice. Now, come on. I owe you a coffee, right? For the umbrella last week?” she teased. Her hand tugged at his sleeve, daringly.

Jake’s low chuckle sent butterflies up her spine.

“No way,” he replied walking to catch up with her. His fingers brushed over hers but he didn’t grab her hand… yet. “I’ll buy for us. My treat.”

By then, it was harder to hear the couple. Heeseung and Jungwon were walking side by side on the street, far from the university now. It was only then they spoke.

“I get it,” Jungwon said simply. Admittingly.

“Me too,” Heeseung agreed. “I couldn’t hear her thoughts, Jungwon.”

The pair shared a look.

“We’ll talk about it at home,” Jungwon promised before they flurried into a flock of bats right as a car passed the duo.  

[perryrata]

hello, i have a question for you: on your youtube it says that "I am not your friend nor will I ever be your friend: you DONT know me and I DONT know you."

so can we still talk to you ?because i've always been told that you make friends with people by talking to them but if you cannot be anyone's friends then we cannot talk to you??? but then you have asks open so is it fine for me to ask this to begin with? what are the rules of talking to you, because some other people also sent asks, so the asks can only be about life series and hermitcraft?

sorry if the queries are annoying i need hard clarification for everything (i'm also neurodivergent)

Sensitive topic below, mentions of grooming.

Phew.. alrighty.. buckle in! (Remember, I am a minor) Yes, you may speak to me, just not about personal things. Some examples from the past: people asking in comments on how my day went; what grade I got on a quiz, and venting to me on streams. It’s there to discourage these extremely uncomfortable parasocial relationships.

From a viewers perspective, I shouldn’t be anything more than an artist that loves pistachio ice cream. I shouldn’t be viewed as a friend. You truly don’t know who I am, what I’ve done or been through; and the same for vice versa.

It’s also for safety; if someone is impersonating me and messaging viewers: it’s not me(unless of course you are also an artist and we’re doing a collab). I’ve just been very aware of the threat of grooming. Although I’ve been silent about it, I have been groomed.

It’s why I made my PerryRata account. To disassociate myself from the people who knew my other accounts. Legally, we are trying to get the monster behind bars, but because the police want an easy case: they really haven’t done shit.

So, the closer I get to random people on the internet: the more worried I get about the threat. From both sides: people impersonating me and grooming impressionable folk; and people getting close to me and then taking advantage of me.

I’d just rather have it be about my art, others art, Life Series, and Hermitcraft.

All of this is meant in an informative way, I don’t blame you for asking! ❤️

I’m still going to play games with chat, interact with peeps etc.. just remember, just because you’ve played Roblox with me, doesn’t mean you know me.

[whenmemorydies]

The Claw, The Scrunchie and The Prayer Card: Part 2 (Timing)

A couple weeks ago, I posted a prediction on the significance of the hair claw, the scrunchie and the prayer card that appear in Carmy's apartment in season 3. In that analysis, I suggested that these items represent three particular characters on the show and Carmy's relationships with them (FYI: the hair claw = Natalie, the scrunchie = Sydney and the prayer card = Richie). We see the scrunchie and the prayer card together at the end of 3x09 Apologies, placed in the same spot in Carmy's apartment. The first and last time we see the hair claw however, is in 3x01 Tomorrow, the first episode of the season.

In their reblog of The Claw, The Scrunchie and The Prayer Card meta, @moodyeucalyptus queried why we didn't see the hair claw with the scrunchie and the prayer card at the end of 3x09. I had my suspicions about this, but it wasn't until recently that I think I've come to a clearer understanding about the separate presentations of these items in season 3 and what the timing of their appearances means, particularly for Carmy's relationship with Nat and with his birth family.

Natalie is haunting Carmy

Or rather, the Berzatto family is haunting Carmy. Let me explain.

We see the hair claw in Carmy's apartment in the first episode of season 3. I think its early appearance in the season is for two reasons:

The first is that the hair claw is a legerdemain, meant to look like a token of Claire's given its appearance in 3x01 in between scenes of Claire at home and at work. I think the purpose of this sleight of hand was to misdirect the viewer's attention to Carmy's love life from the outset and misleadingly establish it as the primary source of his mental anguish this season. As I've noted here, I don't think Claire is the main source of Carmy's anguish.

In fact, it seems pretty clear that Claire herself is a legerdemain: a stand in for Carmy's relationship with The Berzattos. This has been discussed in various places on Tumblr including in this fantastic post by @brokenwinebox contrasting shots of Donna/Donna with Carmy and Claire/Claire with Carmy, as well as in this *chefs kiss* comparison between shots of Claire and the Berzattos done by @currymanganese. I also had a theory where I posited that Claire is a reverse-engineered haunt, maintained by Carmy to keep his brother Mikey in his life, after the latter's death.

We also have this LA Times article in which The Bear's Andrew Wehde (cinematographer) and Joanna Calo (showrunner, executive producer, writer and director) say the following:

All of the above is to say that Claire and her relationship with Carmy seriously appear to be sleights of hand masking the truth of the main source of Carmy's anguish: his birth family.

Which brings us back to the hair claw, which, as I've said here, I believe belongs to Carmy's sister, Natalie Berzatto.

If we are working on the basis that the hair claw belongs to Carmy's sister and not Claire, lets get to the second reason that we see it in 3x01 and not with the scrunchie and prayer card in 3x09.

First, we need to note that Carmy's relationship with the owner of this hair claw - Natalie - is inextricably linked to his relationship with his birth family, the Berzattos. Natalie is his biological sister from that family and she's also the ONLY Berzatto family member that Carmy is seen having any contact with in the present after returning to Chicago to run The Beef in season 1.

Indeed, according to Jamie Lee Curtis, Carmy hasn't seen his mother Donna, the only other surviving member of his immediate family (that we've met on the show) since the events of 2x06 Fishes, approximately 5-6 years ago (given the events in season 3 appear to take place in 2023).

By the time we get to 3x01, Carmy's relationship with the Berzattos (including with Natalie) has had a lifetime of impact on him due, among other things, to an intergenerational history of abuse and trauma. Indeed, right before we see the hair claw in 3x01, we see Carmy staring down at the scar on his hand - a scar that @thoughtfulchaos773 has concluded Carmy got on the day he learned about his brother Mikey's suicide - another visual reminder of Carmy's family and the shadow it casts over his life.

Given the above, I believe the hair claw in the season premiere indicates to us that Carmy is entering season 3 with this familial history playing heavily on his mind. Season 3 also starts on the back of the walk-in fiasco in 2x10 which this reblog thread between myself, @bbythurs and @ambeauty discusses as a representation for Carmy of a broken promise to Sydney and the rest of The Bear crew. In that broken promise, we see an inadvertent repetition by Carmy of the behaviours in his birth family that he hates the most (recall his Al-Anon monologue in 2x03 Sundae where Carmy says his family would fuck up things that gave him amusement and enjoyment, but specifically that they would make promises they weren't able to keep). In this way, season 3 starts with Carmy doing everything he can to undo that broken promise, to undo repeating hurtful familial patterns.

In contrast to the above, Carmy's relationships with Sydney and Richie, while not great at the start of season 3, have not yet reached a boiling point and perhaps are not as front of mind for Carmy. By the time we see the scrunchie and the prayer card at the end of 3x09 however, Syd and Richie's relationships with Carmy have massively deteriorated and are hanging on by a thread. They are definitely occupying his mind by then, explaining why the mementos associated with these two characters are revealed to us at that point in the show.

As always, these are my thoughts and an attempt to apply some logic to a season that, due to its lack of actual dialogue, relies on so much interpretation to muddle our way through. I'm not saying this as a total criticism, because my neurodivergent self loves analysing things like this, but I can see why this season put so many off lol. Its been 1.5 months since I did my first run through of this season and I'm still finding new things I missed during my first watch.

Tagging folks below who might be interested but as always, keen to hear from anyone that wants to chat about this stuff:

@currymanganese @vacationship @moodyeucalyptus @thoughtfulchaos773 @brokenwinebox @espumado @tvfantic87 @ambeauty @bbythurs @mitocamdria @turbulenthandholding @anxietycroissant @angelica4equity @devisrina @kdbleu

My next meta will get into just how The Berzatto family is haunting Carmy in season 3...when I finally get around to finishing it. I'm saying it out loud here to force myself to get it done lol. Stay tuned!

[jomiddlemarch]

Badly done, Emma

“Do you think, my dear, that little Emma lacked aptitude or determination?” Mr. Weston said. They had been wed for well over two years and Anne still found it hard to think of him as John outside their bedchamber. Married life was an endlessly fascinating mixture of the incongruous and the familiar, any awkwardness in address balanced by the tremendous ease she had in his embrace, the peace of his heartbeat lulling her to sleep as she of the narrow, spinster’s bed found her rest nestled in his arms.

“She is Mrs. Knightley,” she corrected, her satisfaction in Emma’s marriage still coloring her tone, curving her lips into a smile. Emma had found such happiness in the match Anne could hardly recall the days when she herself had hoped her charge would become Mrs. Churchill.

“I know I ought to call her that but I can’t forget what a sprite she was with those bright curls and dainty bows, that little voice piping up, cossetting her Papa, the most managing miss Highbury has ever seen,” Mr. Weston said.

“I believe she’d forgive you, though George mayn’t,” Anne said, lifting her brush and gazing at the canvas before her. It was not quite right, not yet, but she’d gotten closer.

“It’s a curious pleasure, to find a way to make cool, steady George fierce,” Mr. Weston said.

“It is for you, as you delight in teasing him,” Anne replied.

“He’s got to refine his sense of humor. Or enlarge it,” Mr. Weston said.

“You’ll have to enlighten me, Mr. Weston, for I cannot fathom your meaning,” Anne said, daubing a bit more paint, nodding at the effect, and then glancing up at her husband, who stood just behind her, with a clear view of her work and its subject.

“I mean to cast no aspersions, for I always thought you were the finest, most accomplished governess in Surrey, but Mrs. Knightley’s portraits leave something to be desired, in a manner of speaking,” Mr. Weston said.

“In a manner of speaking? It isn’t like you to be so indirect,” Anne replied.

“I believe Mr. Knightley’s Praxidike could render a more accurate likeness than his wife’s work in watercolors,” Mr. Weston said. “A likeness less likely to make the viewer seasick, though I admit that is primarily caused by her landscapes.”

“Praxidike is a horse,” Anne said.

“Exactly,” Mr. Weston smiled. “So I return to my initial query—did little Emma lack talent or did she not attend to your wise and skilled instruction, my love? For your portraits are most apt and hers are most…appalling. That she thought to secure Mr. Elton for Mrs. Martin with her painting makes one question her vision if not her sanity—"

“You are too harsh, sir!” Anne said.

“Only if one believes Mrs. Martin bears a strong resemblance to Prinny in his cups,” Mr. Weston replied. “Though was that perhaps Mrs. Knightley’s intention? I know it’s been said the lady is the by-blow of an aristocrat, but surely the portrait would suggest Mrs. Martin is Prinny’s very twin, if one imagines him with his hair dressed à la grecque, with quite a quantity of rice-powder on his nose, in Highbury’s very best Indian muslin.”

Anne laughed, almost in spite of herself, for her husband was droll if not entirely polite, but while her laughter made him smile, it caused her subject to frown and then howl most piteously.

“You’ve woken Sophia,” Anne said.

“You were done painting in any case,” he said, walking over to pick up their squalling infant daughter from the basket she’d been sleeping in, leaving the snowy lace-trimmed blankets in such disarray it was a blessing Anne had finished rendering them.

“You sound quite certain,” Anne said, raising her voice slightly to be heard above the crying baby. Sophia settled to some hiccoughs as her father patted her back and murmured some nonsense to her. Shortly after her birth, he had confessed that he intended to dote upon her and it would be up to Anne to make sure the little girl was not spoilt, that he would not waste his chance to be a papa a second time, after letting Frank be raised by the Churchills. He made good upon his promise every day, with such fond affection Anne could not bring herself to scold him for it, nor castigate him for declaring she must play the villain in their daughter’s life; they would simply need to hire an excellent governess to correct Sophia’s mischief.

“I am. You were about to ruin her cheek. I cannot paint myself, but I can tell when you’ve achieved perfection, my dear,” he said. “It is a skill I do not expect Mr. Knightley will ever be required to master.”

“He will not,” Anne said. “To answer your query, Emma applied herself assiduously to her artistic endeavors, so much so that she could not see to what degree her hand and eye failed her. When it comes to portraiture, it must be said that she lacks all talent.”

“I cannot imagine Mr. Knightley will fret much over it. It is any guest to Donwell Abbey who must prepare some delicate compliments in advance, for surely they would be struck dumb when touring the gallery,” Mr. Weston said.

“Perhaps not. Emma should take their silence as awe and quite prettily accept their reaction as unutterable praise and then invite them to tour the gardens,” Anne said. “She knows how Mr. Knightley delights in his roses.”

Posted for Day 4 of Janeauary 2025 @janeuary-month prompt: portraiture

[theparadisepress]

★ THE PARADISE PRESS

Welcome to The Paradise Press!

Here we follow ex-president Wilbur Soot on his newest exploit at the Ranvan, and his new business, Wilburger!

↓ Guidelines for questions and things to look out for can be found below! ↓

Try and stay away from NSFW! We barely got permission to do a feature on him in the first place, and we're pretty sure he will just quit if we overstep! Also a fair reminder that minors will be reading this feature (and is run largely by minors) ((seriously, who's in charge of this newspaper??))

There may be discussion of heavier or triggering topics! You never know with this guy. 😅 This includes suicide, self harm, paranoia, hallucinations, alcohol, drug use, etc etc

If there's more to be added, it will be! To ask a question, you can contact us at 1 - 800 - PARADISE and your query will be recorded and passed along. Transcripts will be provided under each response for viewer convenience. All interviews will be performed at the Ranvan itself, just across the river from Las Nevadas (although we have permission to film in other areas). Thank you for reading!

on an out of character note, hi! this blog is run purely by @loadedchekhovsgun! some extra notes out of character ↓

not all questions will be answered most likely; i don't have a set schedule i'll be answering these, but if they're repeats or i just can't think of something, your question may not be used :(

canon is my Bitch aka this blog uses actual canon and headcanons 🫶

inbox will always be open!

any of the art used here is allowed to be used anywhere with credit :)

cc!wilbur supporters are not welcome here! fuck will gold, everything here is purely in character

my personal boundaries still apply to this blog

generally all tags used can be found below! posts may be tagged with other things like content warnings, etc.

[srbachchan]

DAY 5947

Jalsa, Mumbai May 30, 2024 Thu 11:59 PM

🪔 ,

May 31 .. birthday greetings to Ef Abhaya Sharma .. Ef Nadou Youssef from Egypt 🇪🇬 .. and Ef Rina Rajpal .. 🙏🏻🚩❤️

.... some creative meetings took place today on different clients and situations and the ideas kept coming one after the other, even though they were different clients, situations and promotional theories ..

How they came on the spur of the moment is a mystery , but came they did, and one saw a look of surprise in some and disgust in others ..

non acceptance of choice is always welcome .. it should .. life cannot be all accepted good or unexpected bad .. criticism tells you where you went wrong .. and opens doors that may never have occured to you , could open ..

One could be a good judge of one's work , good or bad .. but judging is good .. not just from you but from the other as well ..

they come to me for opinion .. for the answers to the questions they have in mind ..

the questions are not a genuine desire to find .. it is ever the desire to find out what shall be of interest to the 'other' - the channel viewer, the reader of the printed word, the opinion genius - of which millions abound ..

because what are you going to do with responses for your own knowing .. why ..

the knowing is to be known for the business of information - to be able to be the answer to a query, is the most fascinating business ever ..

I KNOW ... THEREFORE I EXIST ..

you know .. because you built a database of the knowing, to be able to put it up to use for another .. it is not for you .. it is for the OTHER ..

Many shall defy this theory .. it is a theory after all .. a theory after much understanding .. the understanding was the reason for the data .. else why would you ..

Methinks I talk too much ..

It is the disease of the eldered me .. my apologies .. 🙏

A night of goodness and calm and peace ..😴

Amitabh Bachchan

[alternianewsnetwork]

i killed a cl0wn 0nce. is that a sc00p?

Not Particularly.

[showfall-media]

DOD YPU TWLL RJANBOO TP KILLTHEMESLRF,..... GIRL? WHICH EMPLOYEE DID THaT

Hello Anon! I'm Unsure of what you mean, could you please direct me to the Source of your Claim? I, Squiggles, am the Only Person running this Account. All our posts are made Responsibly and with Care. I do hope you Continue to enjoy All Showfall Media has to offer!

Thank you for your Query !! :]

[the-cheapskateler-show]

Now, wheres that pedal….*sigh* oh, the things I go through to stick a stunning entrance…

ah..hah! There…we go..!

Three….twoooo….one….

And we’re on!! Hello to each and every one of you tuning in now! Lets pick up this next viewer query session, shall we?

We’ve got a lot to get through, so lets get to it!

This is the best place to start, I should think!! Yes!! -ahem!-

To set the record straight, I am in fact very much still alive. And well too, let’s not forget that!!!

Now, I know it’s been a while; FAR too long even, but I wouldn’t just up and keel over! ahah, I mean! Not when theres so much…thneedery and such to be done!!

No, no, no…I’ve been here all along! Right here toiling away in my factory just as usual! I had to budget my precious time for a time y’see, and surely you know how I am about budgeting by now!

Uhm..…Real strict about it, for the unaware!

But!! Now that all that is now done and over with, you all get to see my aliveliness on full display once more! And I must say, your enthusiasm has not gone unnoticed, nor unappreciated!

Yes, yes, this is all for you, dear Dizzy anon and dear viewers! You need not hope or pray any longer!

….

….it…isn’t my sudden reappearance on the scene thats dizzied you so…I hope???

[probablyasocialecologist]

To bring about its hypothetical future, OpenAI must build a new digital ecosystem, pushing users toward the ChatGPT app or toward preëxisting products that integrate its technology such as Bing, the search engine run by OpenAI’s major investor, Microsoft. Google, by contrast, already controls the technology that undergirds many of our online experiences, from search and e-mail to Android smartphone-operating systems. At its conference, the company showed how it plans to make A.I. central to all of the above. Some Google searches now yield A.I.-generated “Overview” summaries, which appear in tinted boxes above any links to external Web sites. Liz Reid, Google’s head of search, described the generated results with the ominously tautological tagline “Google will do the Googling for you.” (The company envisions that you will rely on the same search mechanism to trawl your own digital archive, using its Gemini assistant to, say, pull up photos of your child swimming over the years or summarize e-mail threads in your in-box.) Nilay Patel, the editor-in-chief of the tech publication the Verge, has been using the phrase “Google Zero” to describe the point at which Google will stop driving any traffic to external Web sites and answer every query on its own with A.I. The recent presentations made clear that such a point is rapidly approaching. One of Google’s demonstrations showed a user asking the A.I. a question about a YouTube video on pickleball: “What is the two-bounce rule?” The A.I. then extracted the answer from the footage and displayed the answer in writing, thus allowing the user to avoid watching either the video or any advertising that would have provided revenue to its creator. When I Google “how to decorate a bathroom with no windows” (my personal litmus test for A.I. creativity), I am now presented with an Overview that looks a lot like an authoritative blog post, theoretically obviating my need to interact directly with any content authored by a human being. Google Search was once seen as the best path for getting to what’s on the Web. Now, ironically, its goal is to avoid sending us anywhere. The only way to use the search function without seeing A.I.-generated content is to click a small “More” tab and select “Web” search. Then Google will do what it was always supposed to do: crawl the Internet looking for URLs that are relevant to your queries, and then display them to you. The Internet is still out there, it’s just increasingly hard to find. If A.I. is to be our primary guide to the world’s information, if it is to be our 24/7 assistant-librarian-companion as the tech companies propose, then it must constantly be adding new information to its data sets. That information cannot be generated by A.I., because A.I. tools are not capable of even one iota of original thought or analysis, nor can they report live from the field. (An information model that is continuously updated, using human labor, to inform us about what’s going on right now—we might call it a newspaper.) For a decade or more, social media was a great way to motivate billions of human beings to constantly upload new information to the Internet. Users were driven by the possibilities of fame and profit and mundane connection. Many media companies were motivated by the possibility of selling digital ads, often with Google itself as a middle man. In the A.I. era, in which Google can simply digest a segment of your post or video and serve it up to a viewer, perhaps not even acknowledging you as the original author, those incentives for creating and sharing disappear. In other words, Google and OpenAI seem poised to cause the erosion of the very ecosystem their tools depend on.

[nobodyfamousposts]

How does Littlebug even know how these men are Bad Dads?

I mean it seems, to me at least, that she learned about them before she went to their universes.

Another day, another upload from Littlebug.

No one knew how she or Chaton got the doll avatars to work or look so lifelike, but their avatars were adorable and THEY were adorable and everyone went nuts over them.

It was especially fun to be there for her livestreams. Sometimes she asked questions from the chat. It was pretty evident from some of these questions that she was quite young and some of the viewers were a bit worried about her being safe and what she could be exposed to, but most of the audience seemed on board with protecting the little virtual stars, so they all seemed to have made an unspoken agreement to avoid more mature or inappropriate things.

Not that they had much to worry about. Mama Noire had apparently set a filter on the chat to keep it child friendly. And anyone who started getting too mean for Littlebug's taste would be quickly booted from the livestream. For a kid, she certainly knew how to manage things. And she certainly didn't tolerate bullies.

Though it seemed there was something else she didn't like if her recent query to the chat was any indication.

hello Frends Outside! i hav a qestion?

She was adorable and still learning. And of course they all wanted to help where they could.

wat are some Bad Dads you know of?

The chat was confused, but of course wanted to help.

Loveybug997: Bad dads? Like real or not? DJhatman: If we're talking real, then Gabriel Agreste for sure. Captain56: Let's not go real or we'll end up in a flame war and Mama Noire will be unhappy. Nachohead: Yeah, Papabug JUST got released and is able to play Animal Crossing with the kids again! Don't take that from us! kimjustkim45: Are we talking like in cartoons and anime? Or games? ninjapaste2: Oh! Then Mr. Doofenschmirtz! Definitely! adrienagresteishawt00011: ooh ooh!! yeah he is the worst! insertnamehere2823: Ozai! From avatar! He burned his son's face in an "honorable duel"! SupermanFTW: Do they all have to be villains? Because I gotta say, have a bit of a beef with Son Goku for some of his stunts. I mean, throwing his son into a fight against Cell with NO warning? COME ON! Vladdyfan37: Jack Fenton!I mean he keeps making things that can kill his son! And was responsible for his son dying! # Vlad would never GokuIsBetter: @ SupermanFTW You just mad because Goku would kick his butt. AND be a better dad than he was to Superboy. Captain56: Guys no, this is the opposite of what we want. Let's just focus on the question.

And so answers poured in.

A List was forged.

And Littlebug smiled.

[jpitha]

Late, late at night on the Human/K'laxi Starbase. Long after most everyone has gone to bed. The shops are shut, even the bars and dance clubs have turned their last tipsy patrons towards home.

The main promenade on the way to the Commons is dark, and quiet.

Linaren the K'laxi stands nervously at one end of the promenade. In his hands are a case holding his paints, brushes and applicators, K'laxi safe solvents and his idea.

Across the Human/K'laxi Sarbase, and in fact in nearly all human Starbases, Art is promoted, encouraged, and loved. Human starships are all decorated, painted in wild colors and patterns. Human pressure suits are decorated, human spaces are decorated. When the humans came to the Starbase, they brought their institution of public art with them.

Anyone can pick an open area on the walls, floors or ceilings of the Starbase that isn't already painted on and isn't used for infrastructure, security or other essential needs to decorate. They can decorate in any way that suits them. Most people paint, but people have yarnbomed, put up textural mixed media pieces and even sound and light installations.

If everyone likes your art, it stays up. If they don't, you get to keep it up for a week and then the next person who applied to use the space gets their turn. In some parts of the Starbase, the art changes weekly, in others, it has never changed. Crowded and popular locations like the promenade, commons and docking bay have a near constant rotation of art with some special and much loved pieces staying in place.

Linaren put in his request to Starbase yesterday and was surprised when it was approved almost immediately. He wasn't asked to provide any drafts or drawings of what he was going to do. Just where he wanted to apply his art. In his approval Starbase pointed out that due to his choice of location, his best chance would be to do it after most everyone went to sleep.

"I want to paint a mural on the floor of the promenade, right at the entrance from the docking bay." was all he wrote in his request.

Now, here he was, paint in hand, nobody around.

He got to work.

He had bee thinking about his idea for weeks, months. He tried out different paints on panels in his room, trying to see how the color of the panel would bleed though and tone the work. He brought the colored panels with him to the promenade and looked how they appeared under the lights and windows at different times of day.

Once he got started, the art flowed from his arms. He was barely a part of it. It was as if it was already there, he was just making it appear.

“Do the humans feel like this when they make art?” He thought as he worked. “Do they have these feelings of exhilaration and anxiety, of fun and worry, all blended together?”

All in all, it took Linaren nearly 5 hours to finish. Except stopping for a sip of water, or to stand up and make sure he was going in the right direction, he painted the entire time.

When he was done, he applied sealant and the accelerator so that it could be walked upon, and before the first shopkeepers came to open their stores he left.

As people streamed in, they stopped and stared at Lin's work. Everyone was amazed to see what showed up, practically instantly.

It was a massive, abstract piece titled “thoughts of home.”

It was a riot of color, high contrast, bright tones, sweeping lines and bold blacks meant to make the viewer think about what Home meant to them.

It was nearly the entire width of the promenade and a third of its length, it was by far the largest piece on Starbase.

Lin’s piece was the talk of the Starbase.

Lin was the talk of the Starbase. He hadn't signed it, but he did apply for permission to paint it, so Starbase knew who did the work, but nobody else did.

"Lin?" Starbase queried later that day. "Lin, everyone loves your work. they want to know more about you and what you did,"

Lin dropped the pad he was holding. "They...what?" he whispered.

"Lin, everyone loves your art. They want to talk to you about it."

"No" he whispered "No, I don't want to. It was just something I did. Something I needed to do. It's not anything special."

"Lin, it is special. You are special. Everyone loves it."

"I'm not an artist!" He said, his ears flat. "I just painted something."

"Lin, that is what an artist does." Starbase said kindly. "It's okay to be overwhelmed by the attention. It's even okay to not want to talk to anyone about it. I won't let anyone know who painted the piece if you don't want me to. But" They went on "I need you to know that you are an artist. You make art. You make art that you enjoy and honestly, that's enough. The fact that you also make art that others enjoy is an amazing bonus."

"People like it?" he said curiously.

"People love it." Starbase replied. "I've gotten no less than seventy five requests for the artist who made it, some for kudos, some for an interview and two from Captains who want to commission you."

"Commission me?"

"Yeah, they want to pay you to do a piece on on in their ships."

Lin stood in his room, looking at the wall. Getting paid to do something he liked doing anyway seemed like a good deal.

"Okay. I'll talk to them. Thanks Starbase. You always seem like you know what to say."

"Hah, thank you Lin, I appreciate that. I've just been around a long time, and have seen lots of strange and wonderful things."