#videogames should either be fun or specifically made to be Not Fun (but then end up fun anyway hello pathologic)

[devotedlystrangewizard]

i genuinely do not understand the difficulty debate! i dont! even with soulsborne (AND I LIKE SOULSBORNE.) like what ??? what does it matter??? "the games are meant to be challenging" YES. THEY ARE. BUT THEY ARENT MEANT TO BE IMPOSSIBLE. "challenging" is different for every person. the challenge of soulsborne games isnt meant to make you feel like shit. they WANT you to succeed. if someone wants more challenge they will pick the more challenging mode. its not that hard oh my god

[icryink]

Hi! Do you have written explanations for the Cringetober themes? I understand you already have made a video where you explain the themes but because English is not my first language it's sometimes hard to understand everything from just speech.

I didn’t until 2 minutes ago, but here they are!

screenshot redraw - something easy we have screenshot redraw, this can be from a TV show or cartoon or movie or whatever. you can replace the characters or just redo it in your own style

tsundere - a tsundere is the trope where a character, usually a girl, pretends to find their love interest annoying out of embarrassment for their crush

oversized prop - pretty straight forward. love a good disproportional hammer

fursona / fursuit - first bit of encouragement to explore outside 2D illustration. i know full suits are expensive, so let this be your sign to make or design a partial yourself out of whatever you have lying around; cardboard, fabric and wire, even paper. of course, you can stick to drawing your fursona

gjinka - it's a humanization of anything, whether that be a pokemon or other monster character, an animal, a concept or emotion like inside out, an object or even something like an app

unnatural eye color - fairly straightforward, character with weird eyes

crossover - characters from different media interacting with one another

dead meme - perfect opportunity for people like me who see a meme or trend going around and then, by the time they get around to it, its well run its course

childhood videogame - this can be any game you played when you were younger, but i was specifically thinking of stuff like pokemon, sonic, mario, minecraft, five nights at freddy's, or undertale

ship dynamics - a relationship dynamic or overused cliche

5+1 things - fairly common trope in fanfiction, it refers to a character or characters experiencing 5 similar events that all go roughly the same way, as well as another similar event that this time ends up pretty different. it can be happy or sad, and of course you can stick to a comic or illustration, but fanfiction or creative writing in general is often looked down upon, so i think y’all should at least try to write something

hatsune miku / vocaloid - any vocaloid, doesn’t have to be part of the main vocaloid suite. people make cool interpretations of hatsune miku’s design specifically, but you can do any character you’d like

rule 63 - for every male character, there exists a female counterpart, and for every female character, there exists a male counterpart. basically, genderbends

incorrect quote - you can depict a character (original or not) saying any kind of iconic quote that you think suits them

animation meme - most classic animation memes are actually really simple with somewhat jerky movements, which is ideal for those just starting animation. if you've always wanted to animate but the concept seemed too daunting, here's the opportunity for you! of course, you can just reference popular animation memes with a still image if you’d prefer

something you've been bullied for - there are a lot of things that are considered cringe that a person can't change about themselves, even if they want or try to. i didn't want to single out any specific insecurities, so i left it broad enough for it to apply to everyone. it's kind of like a free space to celebrate anything about yourself that you've felt ashamed of

f2u base - f2u stands for 'free to use', basically an empty sketch you can use to draw whatever characters you want. this can be interpreted as either making or using a free base, so do whichever one you'd prefer. if you're using a base, just remember to credit the original artist if you post it

Fandom AU - good simple fun. draw characters you like from a piece of media you like in any alternate universe you like

alternative fashion - your opportunity to experiment with a fashion style you've always thought was cool but were too nervous to try. alternatively, (haha) draw a character in alt fashion

tumblr sexywoman - a female character that is, for whatever reason, incredibly popular and found attractive

closet cosplay - build a cosplay using only things you already have in your closet! I wanted to encourage people to get into cosplay since it’s such a fun hobby

candygore - gory drawings that involve pastel colors and sometimes literal candy iconography

adult cartoons - cartoons intended for older audiences, ex. Hazbin Hotel, Smiling Friends, Amazing Digital Circus

niche interest - another free space that lets you make something relating to a pretty unpopular or not very well known thing that you really like

gacha life (I spelled it wrong on the list) - it’s a website where you can design characters and move them around and make up stories. it was super influential for a lot of artists

Y/N or Mary Sue - could be a male Mary Sue too. A very overpowered, perfect character. Alternatively, you can interpret this as literally “your name” and insert yourself into whatever media you want

YouTuber fanart - do some fanart for a YouTube channel you enjoy, whether that be for an art channel, a commentary or video game youtuber, or sketch comedy

mascot horror - anything relating to horror that involves cute marketable characters. FNAF, poppy playtime, Amanda the adventurer are all some examples

experimental makeup - trying out a makeup style that you haven’t done before. of course, if you aren’t comfortable wearing makeup, you can totally draw a character experimenting with their own makeup style

supernatural or monster character - demon, vampire, werewolf, fairy, or any monster type character you can think of

HALLOWEEN - anything spooky to celebrate Halloween!!

While I hope this compilation was useful, please remember that all the prompts are completely up to interpretation. There are no rules to Cringetober! Just do whatever you want and have fun :)

[active-mind-15]

Just thought of some Akashi videogame headcanons

So first of all because of all the extra studies and activities he was made to do throughout his childhood, he originally did not play video games at all. He just never had the time and his father considered them to be unproductive, anyway. So, he never grew up with any video game console in his house.

The only exposure he had to video games came from other people, more specifically the Teiko gang. Kise, Aomine, and Murasakibara specifically played a lot of video games in their free time, and if Akashi was around, he'd lean over them to get a peek at their screens (I would imagine they'd be bringing their PSPs or DSs to school or something). Sometimes, Akashi would ask questions about the games that they were playing, because he would just be so curious as to how fun it is to play them, and if they sense that Akashi is really interested they'd give him a turn with their console.

And, of course, Akashi, being the out-of-touch person that he is (bless his precious little heart), ends up getting taught by the other miracles how to play the games. He listens very intently and is a quick learner, though, so once he understands the rules he's really good.

And since he met Midorima and was friends with someone who finally shared his interest in shogi, Akashi started playing online games with him when they weren't at school. I vaguely remember from like an interview or something with Fujimaki that Akashi's online handle is Red Emperor, which is just... very fitting. Either way, even though Akashi did not play console games, he would always do online shogi matches with Midorima which would then expand into other games like chess and Othello. And those kept up all the way until high school. But since he wasn't hanging out with the other former Teiko members like he used to, his video game exposure went right back down to zero.

Eventually, post-Winter Cup, when the former Teiko members start hanging out together again, he starts getting exposed to video games again through the others, and the miracles finally just tell him he should get some games of his own to try out. At first, he wasn't sure about getting a console, but they told him that he could just get PC games to start and if he's comfortable with the PC format then he can just stick with it.

Case in point, Aomine sends him the link for Steam via text with the message "Go crazy".

Lemme tell you, this boy clicks on that link and SCROLLS. Again, as someone who was never familiar with the video game realm, this feels like stepping into a new world. With all the options for games, it's almost overwhelming, but eventually, he starts picking game categories that stick out to him and combing through different game trailers and synopses with a mindset of "I'll pick three games to test out and see how I feel after that."

^^^ Famous last words

Fast-forward to some time after that, and Akashi has very much found an appreciation for video games and regularly tries new ones that interest him.

Since he's a very intelligent person, I would like to think that rather than playing video games to relax and not use his brain for a while, he's the type to play video games that are intellectually stimulating. He likes to be challenged and use his wits to complete the games he plays.

Because of that, I would say his video game preferences probably fall into strategy (specifically turn-based and tabletop strategy) and puzzle games (which include puzzle platformers). He's also a big fan of story-rich games and will play through the occasional visual novel as well.

When he tells the former Teiko members he started getting into video games, they make it a point at every subsequent meetup to ask about any current ones he's playing and what he thinks of them. Sometimes, they'll keep an eye out for upcoming games within his favorite genres and show him trailers of games they think he'd like.

Whenever he's invested in a trailer he'll get this sparkle in his eye that the others pretend they don't notice but secretly look out for to know whether or not they're on the right track.

Also, after successfully getting Akashi into video games, the rest of the former Teiko members (mainly Aomine and Kise) convince him to download a few co-op games that they all can play together.

So whenever all of them have free time, Aomine or Kise will send some bat signal message to their group chat to assemble and they all get on their computers to play.

As time goes on, the co-op gaming sessions eventually become a bi-weekly event, and Akashi tries his best to shift his schedule around so he doesn't miss them.

His current teammates at Rakuzan notice him disappearing or being unavailable on certain days and ask Akashi what's been occupying his time so much, thinking that it would be something school-related. When he tells them he's actually just playing co-op games with his former teammates, they think it's the cutest fucking thing ever (especially Mibuchi).

Eventually, video games become more than just a way to pass the time, they become another outlet for Akashi to just... be a regular teen and not have to worry about being perfect at what he's doing? They help relieve his stress and give him something to take his mind off school. And the Uncrowned Kings notice he's happier because of it. Most importantly of all, he gets to connect more with his Teiko friends like he always wanted.

[BONUS]

Sometime in the distant future, after graduating high school, he convinces his father to let him have a one-bedroom apartment close to his campus with the excuse that it'll make commuting easier. After moving in and unpacking his stuff, the former Teiko members get a text in their group chat from Akashi with a picture of a Nintendo Switch and seven controllers with the message "Anyone up for a game?"

[roadandruingame]

RaR Musings #21: The Crossroads of Simulation, Storytelling, and Fun

I'd had this one on a tab for a minute, because a lot of things happened and I've had a lot of time to think about things.

Exertion has done a lot to emblemize division between major game design philosophies.

On the one hand, a simulation-based game engine was necessary for a GM-less game, where creatures of theoretically infinite size difference could interact, in a way that everyone at the table can collectively intuit and agree on.

But, it did mean a lot more interaction with double-digit math, and 1m-wide tiles are far too granular to make the foundation of a "1 stamina = 1m movement, or swings 1 Size of weapon, for 1 damage" environment. Doing that math isn't fun, and held back use of storytelling as a driving force.

I transitioned to approximation-banding, and made only Tiring activities cost Exertion, shrinking the numbers so it was more about What Who was doing and Why, How, Where, and When it was supposed to happen if it wasn't Here. It meant you didn't actually even need a grid, or a map, instead keeping note of locations and settings by narrative impact, rather than how many spaces you had to move your little plastic man around the playmat.

But with the loss of specifics, questions about multiattack arise; how exhausting is it to attack more than once in a 3sec span? Anyone should be able to do it, and skill should have a positive impact, but how much does it change per weapon? It gets a little bit videogamey, in a completely different way than simulation is gamey, and in a way that has no mechanical consistency, leading to disagreements at the table.

More than that, are either of these systems even fun? While I have enjoy prompt-based creativity, and get a thrill when numbers come up in sub-1% statistical probabilities, that doesn't mean everybody will. And however it runs, it needs to be fun enough and easy enough to prevent players from suffering creative and emotional burnout, which leads them to becoming hesitant about sitting down for a session.

But I also, absolutely, abhor the recent trend of DND enthusiasts ignoring all the rules in favor of goofing off with friends. Having fun with your friends is good. Having fun with your friends while you play a game is great. Changing the rules of a game so that you have more fun playing it is fine. But dismissing the rules of a game wholesale to the point that they make zero impact on ANYTHING you can do? Why even pretend to play the game then?

Tabletop rpgs, unlike videogames, are work. Videogames don't progress unless you press buttons, but ttrpgs make you have to imagine the buttons and what they do, and require everyone present to agree on what the button actually does when you press it. Inventing these buttons has to be consistent, everyone should understand what happens when you press them, and everyone should enjoy the process of both making the buttons, and the fictional pressing of them.

You need to have fun, but simulation and storytelling are important for a game too.

___________________

I talked with two people of note lately.

The first was a prospective playtester, who (apparently, according to a third party) had no real interest in Road and Ruin, but still pursued me around multiple games of Warhammer 40k and ASOIAF to ask questions about it. And, as I so often do, I fell in love with my own game all over again. It's rapidly becoming my decade-long magnum opus, and everything it does is designed to excite me just as much as it is to entertain someone else. We ended up building him a Tatzl Plague Doctor, a plague-rat harpy unaffected by most diseases it carries, who travels the world transferring the diseases of others to himself, before bottling the diseases, and a Goblin Alchemist, part vampire, and pursuing science to one day rid themselves of the otherwise incurable disease. And, thanks to RAR's Story Roster, what is otherwise a nearly statistically-impossible task to discover at random, is given several boosts in probability, without guarantee, thanks to being a personal quest.

The second, was my dad. I owe my introduction to fantasy and sci-fi entertainment to him, and though he's never played a ttrpg, he's heard me complain about mechanics and players for years. His is the opinion that making a game that tries to do everything is senseless, and one should create a game to do one thing, specifically, and well. Many would agree with him. But his is also the opinion that if you force a player who enjoys Dungeons, to fight Dragons, that they'll absolutely hate it, and throw a tantrum over not getting to play the thing they joined the game for, and vice versa. A game that blends Dungeon players and Dragon fighters only stands to disappoint both parties, who will always end up playing something they don't want, eventually.

It's absurd, honestly.

Ttrpgs are a social fabric. Bringing the people who enjoy two different things together, to alternate their enjoyments, only strengthens the hobby, and ensures that it's easier to find people to play. By bringing this alchemist playtester into the fold, I get to see someone enjoying something they have an interest in, and work to make their quest come true. By joining with me, he gets to come along on my quest, and adding a little sprinkle of creativity that I'm not personally responsible for is just the kind of prompt I like in prompt-based creativity. The session becomes collaborative, between two or more people enjoying themselves, rather than confrontational, or one-sided legwork, which plagues the GM-dependent scene.

It's silly to disparage people on their preferences, but it's sillier to declare that other players couldn't possibly have something to improve your experience.

______________________

To that end, I think I have to lean heavier on variant rules.

Other games have them, but often, they're a little twist of math that alters the outcome slightly, or even devoid of mechanics at all.

No, I task myself with the rather silly task of creating a Simulation ruleset, and a Storytelling ruleset, based on the same variables and producing similar results. Players of simulation-like grid-based bookkeeping combat, as well as storytelling-focused, theater-of-the-mind, vague interactions, can come together and use the ruleset that they prefer, in order to get to play those Plague Doctor harpies and Vampire Alchemists.

As some say, the rules shouldn't get in the way of having a good time. But the rules should BE what someone USES to have a good time. And since my idea of a good time is different from someone else's, I should be just as welcoming of their preferences, as I ask that they are of mine.

The real risk is overcomplexity. Players already don't like having to learn one set of rules, much less variants of the same rules. There's every possibility that they balk when faced with the possibility of having to learn multiple types of rules for what amounts to the same game. But then, that's what the rules-lite version is for: the opportunity to completely ignore anything complex.

[doorbloggr]

Friday 1/10/21 - Media Recommendations #20

Contents: Deltarune

I'd been meaning to get to this one for ages, so once again, I think to make it easier on myself, and my readers, today I am only recommending the latest videogame creation of Toby Fox. This ended up being quite an extensive article, so I split it into sections:

MY CONTEXT

OVERVIEW/PREMISE

GAMEPLAY

PRESENTATION

CONCLUSION

Deltarune (Chapter 1+2)

Toby Fox

1. MY CONTEXT

So context for my own gaming experience going into Deltarune, I have never actually played Undertale. Back when Undertale was getting big, it was only a PC game I think, and I just don't play games on PC. I probably should but yeah nah. Soon after it got popular however, I watched a comprehensive Lets Play of Undertale by Rubber Ross and Barry Kramer, and their voices for Sans and Papyrus are still to this day how I imagine those characters. Through that Lets Play, I experienced both the Pacifist and Genocide runs, and got intimately well acquainted with the characters and world Toby Fox had created, and how the actions of the player can shape how we save or ruin that world.

As a general context, I have always been a person who likes the idea of turn-based, random encounter fantasy RPGs, but the deepest I really got was Pokémon. I've been trying to change that recently, and after beating Monster Hunter Stories 2 a while back, I wanted to try more of the genre. Turn based battles are a lot more my speed than pure skill, like fighting games I've become sick of, and RPGs seem to be big on story, so when I heard the Deltarune demo had an update, I thought this is finally the time to jump into that world.

Going forward in this review, I'm gonna try and stay broad and unspecific with my descriptions, so as to not spoil. I may discuss some gameplay themes and characters, but I'm avoiding giving specifics away. I really think you need to experience all parts of the game yourself first.

Minor Spoilers for Undertale and Deltarune Ahead

2. OVERVIEW/PREMISE

Deltarune is a project of love. Pure charm and personality ooze from every aspect of the game. Dialogue is clever and snarky, and that charm even leaks into item and location flavour text. The setting and themes are fun, but with a bloodstained silver lining that is best appreciated by mature audiences. I guess I should just explain the premise?

Deltarune puts you in the shoes of a human named Kris. For unexplained reasons you live in a world of monsters and you are the only human. And by monsters, I mean curious looking critters of a variety of shapes and sizes, since, there is really nothing monstrous about them. One day at school, Kris and classmate Susie end up being transported to a whole different world where dark fountains construct monstrous subworlds, and it is up to the chosen ones, the lightners Susie, Kris and darkner (dark world native) Prince Ralsei, to seal the evils of this dark alternate world.

Deltarune is still a work in progress, and as the subtitle of this article suggests, 2 Chapters of a possible 7(?) have been released, and it is unknown at the time of writing if the rest will come out when the game is done, or as more standalone chapters.

3. GAMEPLAY

Deltarune borrows a lot of theming and game loop premise from its parent game Undertale. The tag line of Undertale was: the RPG where noone has to die. This is because the encounter based battle system is built on two courses of action to take. You may FIGHT enemies and reduce their HP to zero, or you may ACT, and talk the enemy into leaving the battle. Deltarune is built on this same system, but with extra layers. Kris is the stand in for the Undertale MC, who has the options to FIGHT, ACT, ITEM, SPARE, or GUARD. Most of those options were in Undertale too, but Guarding is a new addition where you earn Tension Points, or TP, for not engaging the enemy at all.

This TP is used for extra powerful ACT actions, or for special moves of the other party members. This is the main big difference in gameplay loop. Since the player controls a party now rather than just one person, each party member can specialise in different action types. Kris's ACT can incorporate input from other party members; Susie for toughness and Ralsei for softness, in general. Susie is the powerhouse, and if you chose the violent route, she does more damage. Ralsei is the Mage, and can heal allies, as well as use magic to resolve fights peacefully. Those extra abilities use TP.

In most turn based RPGs, there is a back and forth, where the player chooses actions, and sometimes there is a timing aspect to how well those actions perform, and then there's the enemy's turn, where most of the time you just have to wait and let it happen. Undertale and Deltarune have this truly unique system where the soul of the party members, represented by a heart, is directly controlled on the enemy's turn. It's a mini game unique to every enemy type, where you must move the heart around to dodge their attacks, and how good you dodge will decide whether you take a lot of damage, or even none at all. Deltarune adds an extra layer onto this, where if you make the dodge closer, so that the enemy only JUST misses, you earn TP, and open up more options for your next turn. I found this extra detail really endearing, and I made a lot more riskier moves than if there was no incentive to.

I probably mentioned it above, but just to close out this section, the option to either ACT or FIGHT opens up two types of play. Chapter 1, being a sort of intro part, does not differentiate, but the distinction becomes important later. ACTing to SPARE an enemy earns you money, and in Chapter 2, will lead to befriending monsters. FIGHTing will also earn you EXP in Chapter 2, making your options to hurt enemies more powerful. In Undertale, this difference in playstyle actually changed the ending in real time, and from what we know of Deltarune, it is likely going to be the same case.

4. PRESENTATION

Undertale had this unique visual charm to it that may have been a limitation of its Independent Development, but it was probably also a stylistic choice. Deltarune builds on the same type of artstyle, adorable pixel sprite graphics that bring a lot more colour and depth than its predecessor.

Many, but not all characters have little character portraits in their textboxes, and they change expressions to match the situation, and its so cute.

Character and enemy design are so top-notch. A team of designers have been brought on this time, and every one of them have brought gold to the table. Every random battle encounter is dripping with personality, as you learn how best to sweet talk your way out of battle, or how to best destroy them. Most recurring NPCs are lovable, and those who you hate, you love to hate. Dialogue is witty and hilarious, and the writing is fun.

The chiptune style soundtrack is phenomenal. Although I think Undertale's common enemy battle them was more memorable, that may just be that I have become more familiar with it. All character and boss battle themes are so catchy and energetic. Toby Fox is a master of high energy... fun music. It gets stuck in your head, and your brain bounces around at high velocity.

5. CONCLUSION

Ok so this review is already like 3 times longer than a normal Media Recommendation Article, and like 5 times longer than I planned it to be for this one game, so I should probably wrap it up here. Deltarune is a game experience I put off playing for way too long, and now I can't hold my excitement for when the next part comes out. And important to keep in mind, it is essentially a demo, in that it is just a taste of what's to come, but it is a damn meaty demo that will keep you engaged for many hours.

Chapters 1 and 2 are packaged together as a free game on most game platforms at this point, so there's nothing really stopping you from giving it a try. I don't usually rate my recommendations, but since I wrote this more like a review, I might as well...

Deltarune Chapter 1+2: 9/10

Please play it!

[botwstoriesandsuch]

Sidequests are part of the story so it’s still my ballpark shut up it’s time for

Read Part 1 here!

Part 2 || Part 3

If you’re on mobile, and tumblr hates this post, follow along on this google doc!

Rules/overview this rewrite in the beginning of Part 1

- - - - - - - - - - 

Side quests, side quests, side quests. What are they? And what are they doing here, on an Age of Calamity rewrite? I must admit, game design is not an inherent forte of mine, and I like to think that my only “expertise” would be on writing and storytelling. So what the fuck is a fool like me doing here

Well my dear ladies, lads, and gentlefolk, if your memory does serve, I did say that the format of Age of Calamity was one that served the major plot and story beats for it’s cutscenes, and its worldbuilding and good parts of it’s character development for its gameplay and side quests. It’s actually a concept that can be seen in shows and movies too, although obviously it’s origins are in TTRPGs and videogames. Definition wise, a side quest is any deviation from the main story and plot that serves to flesh out an optional/overseen aspect of the game. So there’s out perfect outlet for worldbuilding, characters, and even a bit of humour. Side quests, by definition, can’t simply be just XP grinders, because otherwise you could…..just make an XP grinder. It’s like saying you’re getting your kids a bike, but then you get them a stationary exercise one. Sure it’s functionally the same and gives the same benefits, but it could be so much more. 

Does Age of Calamity have good side quests? I’d actually argue, yes. I mean sure, it’s not exactly gonna hold a candle to Fallout or Witcher 3, but there are great memorable side quests that do serve their purposes in this game. 

A fan favourite is “The So-Called Knight,” in which Link spars Mipha, Teba, Sidon, and Revali, a conflict of the Sidon’s confidence and belief in Link, with Revali’s skepticism and grudge against him. Not only is it great fandom content, but it explores the carrying POVs of several characters in a fun way. We also have Hestu’s Dance Competition, and the Miss Vai Battle Pageant. What they lack in serious character tone, they make up for in humour and world building. Even the quests that have nothing to do with the main cast of characters, like the Questionable Escort Mission, still provide funny and interesting details about the world, like how the Yiga Clan is still ever persistent in trying to take down Link with monsters and Windcleavers alike. 

It’s not like those side quests were functionally useless either, all of them still provided great amounts of exp and materials. What specifically made them great and memorable was their small little stories and character/world details. Of course, that’s not to say you can’t have the occasional plotless boss rush every now and again, those are fun in their own right and it’s good to have variety. But just thinking about it...what were everyone’s least favourite sidequests? The timed Yiga Escape?  The ones where you sit around defending strongholds? The one hit death Hair-Width Trials? Ah...so all the least enjoyable side quests were the ones that were difficult, with no enjoyable character or worldbuilding to back it up….interesting interesting….interesting pattern indeed. 

So, let’s improve the game a bit further. I do need to pace out my future character arcs somehow. I tried to make use of the existing quests where I could, but it’s just eaaaasier to just not think about it and do it from scratch. Just shove these in place of all those quests whose only description is “monsters have been spotted here! Take Mipha and go to work!” and stuff like that. Alrighty then! Here’s my take on cool side quests for every single character thus far, along with their paired gambit attacks. Prepare for heists! Drama! Simping! And Bananas!

Link: Mastering Stasis

Ok I have no idea when this quest unlocks so just for my purposes assume this only becomes available after Link pulls the Master Sword. 

Engage the hordes of monsters that have been spotted in Hyrule Field. Now is a great time to master the use of the Stasis Rune. Impa and Zelda accompany you, but it seems stasised monsters aren’t the only thing coming to a tense standstill…

This isn’t anything that special, I just want to further highlight this tension that Zelda and Link have, as it’s something touched upon in Botw, but never really mentioned or used ever in Hwaoc. Now more than ever, Zelda has an excuse to have a rocky relationship with him because she could actively see just how far he’s coming in such a short amount of time. Classic “he probably hates me so I guess I’ll hate him” thing.

You play as Link, the game gives you your little prompts on how to use Stasis, you take out a few hordes of Bokoblins and blah blah blah. I wanted to use an earlier level to establish Zelda’s relationship sooner as obviously it’s gonna be important to the story. But of course like all side quests it won’t kill you to skip out. Text dialogue can be Zelda saying science shit like “This will be a good opportunity to test out the full limits of the Stasis rune” and then Impa’s all “Yep! We got your back, Princess! We’ll clear out these monsters in no time.”Then Link the little angsty shit that he is says nothing, and as you play you clear out more and more bokoblins Zelda just says “...” and then we can toss in a Moblin or two in there for gambit voice stuff.  

Gambit dialogue with Impa would be supportive, her usual spunky dialogue. I had two ideas for Gambit attacks with Link: One where Impa does that thing where she cuts a giant laser through the air, but it’s aimed towards Link and he parries it right in a monster’s FACE because I think it’s badass and also a good way to show trust and stuff. The second thing was Impa’s giant bomb barrels, but Link is the one to somehow ignite them, because he is an arsonist after all. He can even have a chaotic Sheikah blue glint in his eyes like blue flame, I can already picture it so clearly given how anime/dramatic Impa’s movements are. Impa sets bombs, Link *teleports behind Moblin* nothin personal, kid. 

Also right at the end of their gambit attacks, Impa and Link should try to fist bump or something (cause the whole “cool guys don’t look at explosions” thing that Impa usually does on her own) but are interrupted by eggbot jumping up to try and join in. And then Impa can be annoyed and try to punt it or something. That’s not just self-indulgent that’s in her character she totally would and I want to make use of the fact that eggbot travels around with Link. The success of her attempts to punt him can vary.

If Link does a gambit with Zelda, her dialogue can just be her usual monotone Princess stuff, “Thanks for lending your strength,” or “There is still much more to do!” just purely professional, we’re not at a stage yet where she’s buddy buddy with Link. Their gambit attacks can still be cool though. One idea I had was Zelda using stasis, and you know how when you use it in botw everything lights up with that sonar effect? So Link stands besides Zelda, and she activates stasis, the first “sonar” light wave reveals the stasised monster, and you see it from the view of the Sheikah Slate. Then with each additional flash of sonar you just see this silhouette of Link going absolute ham on a monster. And then when the stasis “ding ding ding ding ding” is done, everything’s just dead. Can you see my inspiration from Persona 5 yet? Second idea was Zelda using cryonis and makes an ice ramp for Link to shield surf on and ram into a monster. For entertainment purposes Zelda should also be putting frogs on said slide. (Also also the reason I’m putting Link as the main focus for those gambit attacks is because I want to juxtapose it with future gambits where Zelda may or may not be more powerful…)

Anyhow anyhow, so this side quest, you beat some bokoblins, theres a moblin or two. However as you progress Zelda’s dialogue because a bit more passive aggressive, maybe Zelda can be a bit irritated at how quickly Link is defeating everything before she can even contribute. Impa can comment on this like “She hasn’t exactly been warming up to you, has she…” and then the last point of the side quest, Zelda runs off, there’s a...let’s say a big horde of blue or black Moblins. Or a horde of Wizzrobes, I’m not too picky on it. Link can save her and do a gambit or whatever, but the point of importance is that Zelda leaves with the clear mindset off, “You don’t need to keep coddling me, I can handle my own” to Link, but is “Thank you, I’m glad you’re here,” to Impa. 

Now I stole was inspired to use this based on this comic by @novellanova, and you should check it out here. But basically, at the end when all the monsters are dead and the last few text boxes are rolling, Impa says something like “Gee, at this rate I might have to protect you from the princess! Hmm…. you know, maybe if you two had the opportunity to hang out more and get to know each other, she’d warm up to you! Ha! That’s it! I’ve made up my mind. Listen up Link, from now on I’m gonna let you man the wheel when it comes to protecting Zelda. So with me out of the picture you better take the opportunity to be the nicest, most helpful, and most effective body guard there is. I know you already are, but still, if I hear that one little Chuchu so much as splat in her direction I will take you down...got it?” And, that’s that.

Side quest done. Fun Link gambits with Impa and Zelda, some little character POVs on the situation, plus an explanation as to why Impa doesn’t accompany Zelda everywhere/nods to the cutscenes of Botw as to what happened to Impa. Alright, that was probably the most boring one so let’s move on to

Daruk: A Rumbling Stomach

Alright I’ll be honest...I have no idea what to do with Daruk. Especially when Yunobo’s not here, I got zip-zero to work with considering his character is non-existent. Further down the line I’ll certainly try to give him more nuances and the like, but I’m afraid the majority of my character efforts have been towards Astor, Revali, Zelda, and [REDACTED] so this is my apology ahead of time, rock fuckers.

This is my take on how to make those timed quests more fun. So basically, the premise of this stage is that Daruk was just happily hanging around trying to enjoy his rock roast, when a monster surprised him and he dropped it, and now it’s rolling down the hill. This is based on my real Breath of the Wild experience where I had to trek up that Volcano path to bring a rock roast for that shrine quest, but at the very top I dropped it and had to chase it down before it fell into the lava below. 

Daruk is eager to chow down on the finest rock roasts this year has to offer! It’s too bad things go downhill when monsters start to ambush. Defeat key enemies and rescue Daruk’s tumbling meal before this year’s wait goes to waste!

So, that’s what this is. The stage opens and Daruk says “NOOooOO! My rock roast! Damn monsters!” and you have to defeat baddies and catch up to the rock roast before the timer runs out and it falls into lava. And then when you finish and get back the rock roast that’s pretty much it….except SIKE no it’s not. Because a lot of these timed quests usually have a “surprise! There’s more!” thing at the end so I’ll do that here too. So Daruk has saved his rock roast and he’s talking about how he’s going to enjoy it in all its deliciousness, when he’s cut off by a random Goron’s scream. Turns out, Daruk’s yelling at the monsters about desperation to retrieve his lost lunch has attracted monsters to some traveling civilians, and now you gotta go beat a Talus, or a couple of Moblins, or something...Again I don’t really have level set or idea when these side quests unlock so just use your imagination. Once Daruk defeats the monster(s) the Gorons can thank him, and then one of the Goron kids can be like “Ooo! Is that a super special rock roast?!?” And Daruk is all:  “Ah! Well all the best Goron heroes eat plenty of rocks! This here is the gourmet stuff. You can only get it once a—” And the kid’s like “Woah! I’ve always wanted to have one, that’s why I’ve been training hard so I can explore more of the mountain. Where’d you get it??” And Daruk can sputter a bit, before finally sighing and giving into his instincts. “Ah….well, why don’t you have it? You’re probably really hungry after running around with those monsters…”

“Woah really?? Are you sure—”

“YEAH JUST TAKE IT ALREADY GO”

“Woah, thank you!” and then the Goron kid and co run off. Cue Daruk crying to himself in the background. Daruk may have an appetite, but I like to characterize him as the Goron Hero first and foremost.  

I’m sure that doesn’t stop him from mourning his rock though.

Mipha: Stronger Sentiments

Mipha and Daruk talked a whole bunch about training together so that Mipha can grow stronger, and Daruk was catching on to her crush on Link and it was a nice interaction in between them except for the fact that we never see them do the damn training so that’s what this is.

I think this is as good an opportunity as any to make this a Hair-Width quest, the ones where you can’t take one hit. The difficulty of a level is one of the most effective ways to put the players in the boots of a character to experience the same struggles they do. If the player works hard, then they automatically associate that with the character working hard. So, yeah, let’s have Mipha kicking ass and working to be strong enough to protect Link.

Mipha is determined to grow stronger. Daruk and the other Gorons are helping out with an intense training session by Gut Check Rock. Prove yourself by defeating all the enemies you encounter!

So Mipha is sparring with the Gorons, you fight through them and the captains and blah blah, the final boss is fighting Daruk without getting hit. 

“I promise not to hurt you more than I’m capable of reversing.”

“Ha! Give me all you’ve got, princess!”

You fight, cue the special music or whatever. I mentioned that gambit dialogue/attacks could also work to be custom for the character that you’re fighting, so I’m thinking something like this. Daruk slams the ground and rocks and magma sprout up around him like jagged pieces of glass, but Mipha is no where to be seen. Daruk’s kinda huffing and puffing, “Where’d you go Mipha…” and then FWOOSH, giant geyser right behind him. [yes I KNOW I overuse the *teleports behind you* “nothing personal, kid” thing but I think it’s COOL and you can’t stop me] So anyhow, you know that thing in Avatar where Pakku is just riding at the top of a whirlpool and destroying everything? That’s Mipha.

Daruk turns around and scratches the back of his head. “...huh….that’s not good.” Cue Mipha swooping down to deal the defeating blow. 

So Mipha wins, she can mention how wonderful it was and how much stronger she feels. And she can thank Daruk, and he’s all “No problem!” but he mutters something like “And I thought Gorons hit hard...now I know how Link feels.” End side quest….SIKE it’s another surprise boss at the end. A Goron captain suddenly reports that an Igneo Talus has appeared nearby. 

Mipha goes up to fight it, but wow! Link is already there. They both fight it, but it’s clear that Link didn’t need her help that much. You can defeat the Talus with a Mipha/Link gambit. It’s similar to Link’s usual “swing sword in a giant circle and become a death windmill” but Mipha kinda enhances it with water or something and it puts out the Talus. I wanted this ending with a focus on how strong Link is just to show that while Mipha is improving, she’s still not yet where she needs to be. 

Daruk: “Sorry I wasn’t much help at the end there, I was busy, uh, stretching.”

Mipha: “Oh it’s quite alright, Daruk. We were both quite tired from today’s training.”

Daruk: “Well I dunno about that...seems to me you were quite lively and active as you fought beside Link. *wink*”

Mipha: “Huh!?!? W-What is that supposed to mean??”

Cue laughter from Daruk. Mipha is flustered. And Link is just...confused, as always. 

Urbosa: Mighty Thunder of the Gerudo

So in the game this is just some normal outpost capturing, stronghold defending side quest, but we’re gonna spice it up just a bit. 

An important excavation site is being overrun by monsters, and Urbosa has set out to engage them. Defend and capture the outposts, in order to prevent this valuable place from falling into enemy hands…

So you fight as Urbosa, defeat some enemies and blah blah. When you first arrive there, I want one of the Gerudo Captains to be like “Lady Urbosa? Where did you come—What are you doing here? Aren’t there areas of greater importance for you to be at right now?” Urbosa says something like “Nevermind that now, let us focus on achieving victory over these rotten beasts.” 

As the battle goes through, it is revealed that this excavation site is where Zelda’s mother would often work and hang out with Urbosa. Urbosa says some stuff like “Her Majesty would not be happy to see all these monsters heading here!” *decapitates Moblin* and then she can say other dramatic stuff at the end like “We have fought well...for her memory” and other classic lesbian pining. Some guard at the end can say “Perhaps you should move on and help out somewhere else, Lady Urbosa. We can handle the clean up from here.” 

“Sure,” Urbosa replies, “Just another moment.” And then cue reminiscing. “She always did love these machines…”

And just other sentimental stuff like that. If you’re gonna be a coward and hold out on the Champion death angst, then you best be pumping that angst and emotion from somewhere, you know?

Also yay for worldbuilding! At least in my rewrite, the Guardian excavations and stuff were overseen by the Queen. Could be a reason Zelda hangs out with Sheikah tech so much...who knows who knows... who knows what other implications this has, it’s just a side quest after all.

Revali: Anti-Ice Training [get it??? Cause in this one, Revali’s gonna break the ice with some other characters?? I’m funny I swear]

Ok so for this one, I want to pull Revali’s character away from just “the birb that doesn’t like Link” and give him some other stuff to stand on. Obviously, there would be other side quests in a fully fleshed out game that did even more to characterize him, but for my rewrite I’m only dedicated this post and one other future post to sidequests, so I gotta really bring out what I can for the few side quest stories I have time to tell

Revali sets out alone to deal with some monsters by the Hebra trail. Although intended as an isolated moment to hone his skills, he finds himself with unexpected company. Defeat key enemies.

So you play as Revali and at first you’re alone, taking out Ice Lizalfos and the like. Revali’s text dialogue can say stuff like “Hmm...not fast enough” “My current needs to be stronger” “*mutters* Can’t compete with lightning and magma with aim like that.” Just stuff that establishes that he’s working hard to really prove himself as the best, but is still a bit insecure about his position. He thinks he’s better than Link, sure, and he certainly thinks that being a princess or a chief doesn’t automatically make you the best. However by this point, Revali has battled alongside the other Champions and seen their skill in battle, and has developed some respect for them. Afterall, Champions were chosen in some part for their skills, unlike Link or Zelda who destiny just thrust greatness upon. 

So Revali has this slight insecurity that compared to lightning, and magic healing, and magma, with chiefs and princesses and titles of heroes, he and his efforts will be overshadowed and forgotten, unfairly deemed the useless one. Thus, here he is, training in solitude, not wanting anyone to see the imperfections and mistakes until he is absolutely perfect.

Except for the fact that after you beat a Wizzrobe, the other three Champions show up. 

Revali: Wh—Huh?? What are you all doing here?

Urbosa: Well, we all have to travel with the princess to that Tower in a few hours, so I recommended we find you and hang out until then

Mipha: And a good thing too! Look how many monsters there are

Revali: I’m actually doing very well on my own right now. Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold or something, so why don’t you head on back and let me handle this.

Daruk: Aw, it’s not that we think you can’t do this. It’s that you’re hogging all the fun! Urbosa: And that it would be more efficient if all of us went to work

Daruk: That too

Revali: Look it’s not—you all can’t just—this is not just about—AUGH, look, I’m just trying to train myself at the moment, and I don’t need you all to mess with my drills

Urbosa: Training, hm? Well how about this...you let us continue helping you with these monsters, and after, I’ll let you in on a good Gerudo training technique

Revali: Hmph. Fine, whatever gets you out of my tail feathers faster

So Revali and the Champions clear out the monsters. Revali can have gambit attacks/dialogue with each of the other Champions. This is already incredibly long so perhaps I’ll save specifics for another time, feel free to use your imagination. Urbosa teasing Revali and they make a thunderstorm, Mipha and Revali swimming in the sky and kissing—wait that’s— 

When all the monsters are cleared, which honestly isn’t tooooo many, Revali speaks again.

Revali: So what’s this oh-so-holy technique you had in mind, then?

Urbosa: Ah yes, well really it’s quite simple. It’s called…

Urbosa: One-on-one combat

Now Revali fights Urbosa. It think it’d be really fun if your allies on a stage could swap to a boss, and I wish hwaoc had a bit more freedom with the interactions as a whole, but ah well, that’s what I’m here for I guess.

So when you/Revali defeat her, it’s a good accomplishment! Not only for you the player, as Urbosa would not be the easiest to beat, but also because match-up wise, Revali prevailing over Urbosa is a big feat as their styles are quite opposite, arguably with the strength in favour for Urbosa.

Revali might at first have the mindset that Urbosa is overconfident and thinks she’s got an easy win on Revali, but that mindset is quickly proven wrong when 1) the difficulty of the gameplay itself shows how they’re both doing their best and 2) Urbosa with her Gerudo qualities is probably shouting stuff like “give it your all!” and things.

And so, as you beat her...

Revali, kinda huffing and puffing, but just a bit:: ...you….held back

Urbosa: Come now, do you really think of me as someone who’d do that? I’m almost insulted.  

Revali: Hmm...perhaps not then....

Mipha: Wow! What a wonderful fight from both of you. 

And then insert some other dialogue from Daruk or something that shows the Champions acknowledging the training and hard work Revali must have put in to be so skilled. Perhaps it’s not so bad, when you train with others and your skill is fully appreciated by your frie—GAH. Perish the thought, they’re all just a bunch of royal fools who can’t hold a candle to the skill of a Rito Master….probably…

Revali: Well unlike you lax fools, I tend to take my job seriously. I don’t have time to longue and banter when the princess is still expecting me in an hour or two

Urbosa: Oh alright, let’s get to it then. What’s the expression? “The early bird gets the w—”

Revali: Gross. No. Don’t finish that sentence, I beg you. 

Urbosa: Oh? Well why don’t you fly off to escape my dreadful tones then?

Revali: ...Heh, don’t be absurd…

Revali: Without me, you’ll all probably get lost. So, I suppose I should stick around for that sake Great Fairies: Dress to Oppress 

The Great Fairies are holding a fashion competition and rating people’s outfits. Poorly judged outfits gives them the right to compensation combat. Defeat all your less than fashionable allies.

...

...yeah.

It seemed funny in my head, alright? cOme on, just imagine…

Revali, fully expecting to win: Well?

Great Fairies: Hm...I don’t know dear, all the colors are very clustered. Perhaps if you were taller—?

Revali: bWHAKT!? *other angry bird noises*

- - - 

Daruk: I brought my BEST out today! :D

Great Fairies: Is that a….chain?

Daruk: TWO chains, actually. :D

Great Fairies: Oh honey…

- - - 

Great Fairies: Ooo! Our little hero is about to come out! Wonder what he chose...a knight in shining armour? A handsome desert voe? Ooo!! And those Snowquill braids always made him look so cute…

Link: *comes out in the Tingle Outfit*

Great Fairies: …

Great Fairies: …………..hm…..

At the end of the side quest, after you beat everyone, the Great Fairy wins because of course they do. 

Great Fairies: Oh my! What an unexpected outcome...but it really couldn’t have gone any other way. I declare the judges the winner! I mean just look at me, I’m as dazzling as a jeweled desert flower, because I am! Ohohohoho…

This side quests unlocks the Tingle Outfit

Hestu: Forest Dance Festival

Alright this quest was already pretty perfect, BUT, I just want to use this opportunity to say that all of Hestu’s gambit attacks makes his allies and enemies do special dances. Absolutely abSURD that Hestu can only make the lesser smaller enemies dance on occasion, nonononono, my guy Hestu is making everyone dance. You can’t stop this. Nothing I say will ever top the imagination, so just take my word that this is a good thing. [Reluctant Revali doing the macarena against his will in sync with Hestu and they bash someone’s head in...ah the possibilities.] 

Maz Koshia: Links to the Past

Ok so before I get into this, a few things. This quest takes place well after the tower activations in Akkala. Age of Calamity leaves a whole lot of plots holes as to why a Monk is just...here, and what the point of the shrines are, and personally my first reaction to all this was just a five minute extended “huuhhhhhh???” 

So here is my headcanon, explanation, thing, canon to the world of the Kip Cut story. Ones all the Sheikah Towers were activated, that officially woke up all the Shrines, because we know that the Towers and Shrines are all connected to the same system. [See Great Plateau Tower activating all the Shrines and Towers, and Creating a Champion explanation on the system] But when all the monks were in their little altars and noticed how Link hadn’t dont a single one, they were like “what the fuck.” Monk Maz Koshia, who is kinda the head honcho of the monks and probably the only one powerful enough to go out in the world anyhow, sets out to see what the deal is, and after many a teleportation and telepathic communication, he figures out that Link is just running around with the Master Sword already. This kinda confuses him, because the whole point of the Shrines was to test Link and give him the spirit orbs so that he could grow strong enough to get the Master Sword, but he somehow already has it...so hmmmm something fishy is going on in this timeline. So Link technically hasn’t proven himself at all, Maz Koshia ambushes him, they do their little combat trial, Link passes, and Maz Koshia’s like “ok cool so you’re not useless.”

So now Monk Maz Koshia has cast aside his old monk duties of waiting around for a couple hundred years, in favour of just hanging out with Link and continuing to train him combat wise. Shrines are still explored by Zelda and co because they are important areas to establish teleportation pads, and whenever they’re there, Maz Koshia forces Link to get in a shrine to get a spirit orb, which is not only useful in general for health, but since Link already has the Master Sword, the other characters can get the spirit orb too. (So all those little heart upgrades that you see on the map, those are all just in the real Botw Shrine locations, rather than just scattered around randomly. Also I’m ignoring the stuff about talking to Hylia in order to exchange for stamina or heart containers because the game never talks about her, or stamina, and I’m not about to create an entirely new custom gameplay feature for this game, fuck you.)

I like to think that Maz Koshia is very selective about the Shrines he encourages people to try out. “Oh nonono, don’t bother with Qukah’s….lazy ass, only set up one little mountain that you have to blast through with lightning and that’s the entire puzzle! Disgraceful...Here, Kaam Ya’tak has set up a wonderful Trial of Power for you. I’m sure you’ll find the level design quite thrilling. They spent a lot of time on the critical thinking aspects so have fun!”

“I should warn you that this one was made by one of the millennials...yes, those youngins who were only initiated 1000 years of age. Honestly, they lack so much experience. Ms. Agana over here was experimenting with something called ‘motion controls?’ Pretty lazy if you ask me. Traditionally I would just stick to combat and block and switch stuff...but ah well, variety I suppose.”

Right, what was I talking about? Oh right! This is a sidequest. So Monk Maz Koshia doesn’t really have...a character??? Or a personality??? So I don’t really know what to do with him other than use him as an outlet for world building. Apologies to the Monk….fuckers? Stans? Feel free to leave me a comment about how I missed all the nuances of his character or something I’m all ears.

On an expedition to mark more Shrines and establish more teleports for the Kingdom, a large horde of monsters is spotted, seemingly with the intention to destroy these Ancient relics. Link and Maz Koshia use this opportunity to sharpen their combat skills. Protect the stronghold and defeat key enemies.

And then that quest would just kinda echo the stuff I said earlier about the world. (As Maz Koshia defends a Shrine, somewhere Qukah Nata is smugly shouting “Bet you wish ALL of them were protected with a giant mountain now, do ya?)

Also Link and Maz Koshia’s gambit attack involves the Master Cycle. I don’t have the specifics, but damn if I want some call backs to Botw while also having fun.

Impa: Steal Yourself [Yiga Clan Escape]

In an act of pure hatred and malice, the Yiga Clan has snuck into Kakariko Village in the dead of night…and stolen all the Swift Carrots! Impa sets out to get them back, as well as taking something else as a form of swift revenge...Escape before the time runs out.

Ok I can explain.

So you know how the Yiga and the Sheikah have kiiiiinda been murdering each other a bunch in Botw, going as far as to kill a deserter’s wife and threatening to murder his kids, and also people on both sides were sorta massacred for no reason? And alsoooo one of those people who literally lived during that time of the massacre is just kinda floating around now?  And you knooooooooww how the Yiga Clan just kinda joins Zelda’s side later on and we’re not supposed to think about the implications of that too hard because they’re the funny banana ninjas, haha? Yeah well neither Age of Calamity or I really have time to explore the moral grey areas of an alliance between two warring factions, one of which has a leader who doesn’t really seem to remember the reason why they hate Hyrule which brings into question whether the lackeys even know their clan’s history, and brings about the moral dilemma of criminalizing the ignorant, and also there’s the whole other dilemma of depicting the side that submitted to their oppression as being “in the right” and the topic of a race of people being pitted against their own by a higher power is really brushed over sO WE’RE JUST GONNA TOSS ALL THAT OUT THE WINDOW AND MAKE THEM ACT LIKE RIVALLING HIGH SCHOOLS, OKAY? OKAY! This is fine this is fine— 

So I have dubbed the High School mascot of the Sheikah, the Swift Carrot. And although there does seem to be some internal debate about whether the carrot should be replaced by the Fortified Pumpkin, the hero of Hyrule Link favours carrots so that’s that. Then of course, the mascot for the Yiga Clan is the Mighty Banana. The two sides hate each other and steal their food symbols to be petty. I’ll be covering the side quests of Kohga and the other later characters in another later post, but just know that Kohga will have his banana heist sidequest too. 

So anyhow, you play as Impa. Maybe she can say a piece of dialogue or two about how she has to uphold the image of her people as she has to lead them one day. And then, this side quest is just her retrieving the carrots and running off with the Yiga’s big banana supply before she’s caught. This is based on that “Escape the Yiga Clan” quest if you couldn’t tell.

Custom gambit defeat of Impa vs Kohga: On one hand I think it would be badass to see Impa’s Sheikah skills go up against the Yiga Clan tactics. Kohga summons a giant metal ball to throw, Impa teleports behind him “nothing personal, kid” nO fuck I’m doing it again away goes to swing a blade at his face. He blocks it with his little energy shield thing, but not before an entire conga line of Impa clones start slashing at him until he’s defeated by a giant explosion. So yeah, that’d be badass and cool. But on the other hand…

Kohga, stomping his feet and having a fit: I cARROT believe you would do something this terrible! Give us back those bananas right now! D: ….please? You can keep the gross orange sticks.

Sooga: He asked nicely. You wouldn’t deny the wishes of the most polite and charming Yiga Chief there is, would you?

Impa: No can do, Yiga scum! I’m afraid this cruel action wasn’t veggie nice of you so I must exact justice! Now it’s my time to split. *Impa clones gather and throw Kohga into a giant frog’s mouth. Impa runs off with a sack of fruit [fruit (derogatory) if you will] cackling into the horizon*

Zelda: The Path She Laid For You

The King has order Zelda to head to the Temple of Time, in order to see if anything there could help awaken her powers. Zelda sets off quietly, with minimal company, as not to attract too much attention lest the Town’s folk be hit with another attack. It seems, however, that these precautions won’t be enough...Defeat key enemies

So this is a pure Zelda sidequest, with no other characters except for eggbot because I said so. Starts out normal when SURPRISE! Bunch of monsters appear and Zelda has to whip out her iphone and fight them. 

Also!! Good time for the Hollows to show up, and you know, tell her what a failure she is and all that. Convince her that she's useless and gonna doom everyone. All that good stuff!! It’s just nice to catch up with the villains and see how they’re doing, you know? ‘Sup Hollow Urbosa, last I saw you were barely spitting words in the Lost Woods, and now you’re giving full hard-hitting insults to Zelda’s character and ability? Good for you, Queen, good for you.

So Zelda and a handful of guards are fighting off monsters, and Zelda has to beat the Hollows too. Her gambit dialogue when she defeats Hollows can be stuff like “You’re not the real ___” or something idk, I don’t have a lot of experience with the evil clone trope, I’ve never played Ocarina of Time. But one specific I DO want to highlight is that Zelda uses the nearby Sheikah Tech to defeat the enemies. I find it a bit weird how Zelda just knows how to use those random water canons in the Faron region in later chapters, so we’re just gonna at least set up a pattern so that it makes a bit more sense later. Plus! This is in front of the Great Plateau, AKA Gate Post Town/Garrisons AKA oh lOOK it’s that area where Link and Impa and eggbot first meet in that Impa introduction scene of my rewrite so we have already established that Sheikah Technology is being stored here and ready to use! Continuity in world building! Nice.

So Zelda uses her knowledge of Sheikah Tech to defeat the Hollows, when...dun dun dun! Astor appears. But you don’t fight him...

Astor: Have you listened to one word spoken to you today? Why are you still resisting? Let me help you.

Zelda: And what exactly is your plan? You wish to kill me, then?

Astor: Not quite. I mean, if you do die, there are ways I can manage, so if some stray Yiga blade happens to strike you I’m not completely doomed.

Astor: But no, the most optimal outcome for everyone is the one where you live yet. You must see the truth as I do, and let me fix this. I can undo this terrible knot destiny has thread for you. [and insert other fate sisters and sewing metaphors here]

Zelda: But how? What’s your game here, if you’re truly claiming to be in everyone’s best interest then why all this secrecy?

Astor: Ah...ever the one to look for the facts and logic, hmm? Can’t blame you, you get it straight from your mother.

Zelda: …!

Astor: But...I’m afraid even if I did tell you now, you’re in no state to truly grasp it. No...the only way this works is for you to truly understand the position you're in, and the stakes that hang in the path before you. 

Astor: And if I have to kill every King, Champion, or knight to get you to understand…

Astor: Then so be it. 

[dun dun dun]

Zelda: No! I won’t let you hurt anyone, I swear it!

Eggbot [just pretend eggbot can have dialogue boxes too]: *chirps* 

Astor, suddenly noticing eggbot: ...You…you’re one thing I still don’t—

Eggbot chirps again beside Zelda, both seeming to be angry at Astor’s words. Eggbot releases a glowing flash of light. Kinda like a...flash bang? [is that the right word idk]

Astor: Ah—! *and he teleports away to escape* Astor: Until next time then...Princess

And that’s pretty much the sidequest. Zelda can question what exactly eggbot did, but he’s not exactly the most verbal in responses. Finally it ends with Zelda going home, “He was still right though...I’m still sitting in failure, with not a hint of my powers awakening. All I have is some Sheikah tech, some exhausted shoulders….and well, you, I suppose, little one.”

“Come, it’d be a waste to continue forth in this condition. Let’s go back to the castle.”

Eggbot: *happy whistles and chirps*

= = = = = 

Tune in next time folks, as we dive back into the main event! Needless to say, Chapter 4 is where the shit starts to go down...

[mashounen2003]

Sonic opinions - 1

Honestly, I think it's time for me to give closure to the “Sonic fan phase” of my life. I’ll keep playing the games if they pique my interest, but in terms of the stories they tell and how their characters are portrayed, these games no longer appeal to me. The comic currently published by IDW isn’t complete garbage nor does it have so much drama and controversy surrounding it, in addition to having Whisper and Tangle, two characters I really like at least on a conceptual level, but the story and characterizations are leaving me deeply disappointed and sometimes fall even lower than the recent games written by Pontac & Graff, namely with regard to the characterization of Sonic himself.

The continuity of the TV series Sonic SatAM and the comics published by Archie was always the branch of the franchise that truly caught my attention and is my main source of inspiration for writing stories; in fact, SatAM was the way I found out about Sonic and became a fan in the first place. But this “North-American continuity” is already as dead as the Mega Man Legends saga, and it looks like the vast majority want to forget it as if each and every one of its elements and ideas inherently had just been a massive nightmare regardless of its execution by the writers. At best, the fandom currently sees this branch of Sonic as some silly “edgy” attempt to take the franchise seriously, something that may have been laudable but was always foolish and doomed to fail and is such a risky gamble that it's not worth trying again.

I'm also getting fed up with the Sonic fandom in general, despite sharing a lot of opinions with some individual fans. Yes, I know there are already many who have declared this for the most varied reasons, be it the “shipp wars”, something in Sonic or even the franchise as a whole suddenly becoming “cringe” due to a whim of a majority portion of the fandom, or the way Sonic reuses "hackneyed" tropes in an alleged demonstration of lack of originality; however, when someone gives Sonic the middle finger for this kind of reasons, they usually do it hypocritically.

No, what got me tired of the Sonic fandom is the way everyone becomes obsessed with picking one branch of the franchise, calling it "the true Sonic", claiming this is the only pure and genuine incarnation of the “soul of Sonic” (if there really is such a thing), marking as “foreigner” every character, concept or element from any other branch of the franchise, and demanding from the fans of those other branches to get on their knees and be thankful that the "True Fans (TM)" even allow them to stay in the fandom. Note that I’m not accusing fans of only one specific portion of the franchise: there are such people among fans of the videogames’ continuity, @skull001 being probably the worst offender, but there’s also that kind of people among the SatAM and Archie-Sonic fans, such as the “nostalgic” delusional pissbabies, blatantly homophobic and conservative, who are now supporting Twitter hashtags like “Rally4Sally” and “Udon4Sonic”. You may think this is actually something typical of all fandoms, but it’s not: this is truly something unique to the Sonic fandom; I don't see huge hordes of Mega Man fans bullying the Legends fandom or making fun of them for the way their favourite saga ended two decades ago; even in the Dragon Ball fandom, despite constant discussions about what is canon and what is not, there’s some kind of tacit consensus that GT and Super are two offshoots of the franchise, equally valid although not coexisting in one same fictional universe (although Shūeisha itself seems to officially support this view, which certainly helps prevent some discourse), while the only part of Dragon Ball universally despised (and rightly so) is Dragon Ball Evolution.

I'm sorry if this hurts some people’s sensibilities, but if I decide to write a story with any given set of characters, elements, concepts, setting, internal rules and whatnot, the only thing in my mind will be to write a mildly decent story. I'm not here to “honour” -let alone honour at all costs- some supposed legacy and traditions that some people say should be upheld by each and every Sonic content creator. And let’s be brutally frank: we’re talking about a franchise that started as platformer 16-bit videogames whose sole purpose was to show SEGA’s consoles were better and handled speed better than Nintendo's; SEGA never really intended to tell a story or portray its characters consistently, only later did the cast begin to receive more defined personalities and the games start telling stories because SEGA suddenly saw this would make them sell more, and even that varied wildly according to whatever seemed more convenient at the time; not to mention SEGA's unique habit of entering vicious cycles of failure and over-correction, where Sonic Team makes a few mistakes in a game that did everything else more or less well, SEGA throws away the entire game along with the foundations on which it was built and the story that was told by that game, Sonic Team makes a new game with absolutely everything replaced and makes mistakes again but those mistakes are different from those of the previous game, the process is repeated ad nauseam and no-one is ever satisfied with anything. A few Sonic fans trying to impose on every other fan a supposed single Sonic canon with some kind of official approval seal by SEGA & Sonic Team is something quite backward, because that single official canon almost never really existed, and if it does exist, it makes no sense and is internally inconsistent, dependent on the creation of new games, and very likely to be retconned, overwritten and modified at any time.

There are other "bad habits" of the Sonic fandom that have led me to break ties with them. One of them is the way many fans take one trait of a character, be it simply one of many facets of their personality or even a physical trait, and turn that into the entire personality of the character; many of those same fans are also massive hypocrites, complaining (albeit rightfully) about how SEGA oversimplifies Shadow into either “Sasuke the Hedgehog” or “Vegeta the Hedgehog”, but then they do the same as SEGA. One of the cases in which this is most evident is when they make Sonic's personality boil down to "gotta go fast" and "be a free spirit"; based on that, they denounce that Sonic saying "I would slow down for you" to one of his closest friends (even if Sonic and Sally weren’t a couple when he said that and/or you don’t support that shipp, it can be said she was at least one of his closest friends in the SatAM-Archie continuity) contradicts the very essence of the character, or they do something even worse: saying that "being a free spirit" means being away from your friends and not having "ties" (like... literal ties, made with ropes, the ones that are actually a bad thing) with anything or anyone. It's like when Goku is portrayed by Dragon Ball fans as far more insensitive than the actual way Akira Toriyama had conceived him and always wrote and portrayed him in his official work.

There are also the plainly disturbing ideas many fans seem to have about personal relationships, judging by the opinions they give about the relationships of Sonic and the rest of the cast. In addition to making everything revolve around vaguely defined words and concepts they throw right and left almost without thinking about their actual meaning, they also seem to believe that having friends and caring for them, or any kind of responsibility no matter what kind it is, is nothing but a drag, like rat-s*** stopping you on your way to "freedom" (this is just amazing: they say the entire Western canon is edgy and the British comic’s Sonic is a jerk, but if you think about this for a bit, these fans’ version of Sonic turns out to be even edgier and more of a jerk than Shadow in his spin-off videogame); in the case of Archie-Sonic, there are all the abuse apologists supporting Scourge and Fiona being a couple, even though you don’t need any “meta” analysis to see he’s (at the very least) verbally abusive towards her and had attracted her by posing as someone else in the first place.

[earthingoddity]

so you know how y’all are constantly like: “what’s there to like about season five???”. i decided to make a list *-*

1. the discussion of disability in a teenage show. how many teenage shows can you name featuring disabled characters? and how many of those feature a character becoming disabled in the course of the show and having to adapt to that? i was very surprised when i realized this was the route they were going to take this season and i think it was very well done.

so let’s break that down:

1.1 they actually made sure to talk about other disabilities. i know some people will say they were just doing the bare minimum, but i disagree. that is such a complex theme, they could’ve easily said representing other disabilities respectfully would be a lot of work for only ten episodes, but they did their best with the limited amount of time they had.

1.2 the representation of the deaf community wasn’t limited to their disability. it actually pisses me off hearing people say “wow, for a while there, i even forgot arthur was deaf!” as if he *has* to let you know everytime he’s on screen. disabled people are more than their disabilities, thank you very much.

1.3 overall, it was a positive representation. they could’ve spent so much time going through all the things that would be too hard for arthur, but they actually had an entire episode where arthur was completely deaf - he took his hearing aids off - and it was a very happy and positive episode. he was having fun, clubbing, dancing, laughing with others, and i think we took a lot of that for granted in the midst of everything that was going on, but that was a really positive representation that didn’t limit itself to stereotypes around deaf/disabled people. i actually expected that they’d drag a lot longer the feeling of loneliness and discomfort of the first couple of episodes, but they quickly changed that rhythm, so that instead of focusing on what arthur was “losing”, they focused on everything that arthur was gaining - new friends, a new love interest and a new way to see the world. also, in relation to the whole implants thing, they delivered very in depth opposite perspectives on the matter and never felt like they were shaming one group or the other.

2. SyMbOLisM! skam france is very good at it and they nailed this aspect in season three. but there was a lot of it in season five as well. like the 7am clips in episode 2, that were used to show the lack of progression in arthur’s hearing and his growing frustration and how those clips were incredibly dark, to match his mood. episode 7 also had such an interesting meaning. with arthur taking the chance to explore the world without his hearing aids, he got to explore a whole *new* world, and not a lacking one, which ties very well with what i just said about being a positive rep, but also shows that the entire episode wasn’t about arthur finding a new layer of himself, but rather him just uncovering one that was already there.

3. use of music/sound effects. it can be hard to represent deafness in a media like a tv show, but skam france did it so well. the use of music is always very conscious in this remake; while others really go hard in the soundtrack, skam france hardly ever has background music, unless it means something. another small thing but that i loved was whenever arthur was taking off/putting on his hearing aids, if he was to put the left one first for example, the sound on the left side of your headphone would start first. it was such a small thing but made the experience a lot more immersive imo, as well as the use of muffled sounds, pitching, etc.

4. Arthur. i am always surprised whenever i hear people say that they liked arthur better when they were not in his pov. i completely disagree, but then again, i feel like this fandom has very unhealthy expectations on their mains, as if they haven’t watched already 4 seasons of the main making mistakes over and over again, lol. i loved getting to know more of arthur - he’s loyal AF and protective of the people he loves. he struggles in letting people in, though, and never wants to be a burden or worry others. he’s perceptive and quick to notice when his friends need help. he is also short-tempered and when he gets mad, it is explosive, but he doesn’t hold grudges for long. he was a much more complexed character than i imagined and he totally made this season for me.

5. le gang. this boysquad is the best, sorry. they’ve always been the funniest and warmest, but it was really nice how s5 explored all the sides of that relationship, including the not so pretty ones. they were the relationship i wanted the most angst from, and i am so happy i got it. i loved seeing how chaotic, but supportive they were of arthur though and they brought so many laughs this season.

5.1 the lack of toxic masculinity. i think this ties well with arthur, because it is amazing to me that even though we were following a straight white boy as a main this season, we had no moments of unhealthy masculine competition; le gang could actually talk about other things rather than just porn stars and jerking off (other boysquads Wish!); and arthur would literally flirt with anyone without a care in the world, because he’s certain of his sexuality like that. it was *refreshing* for once not to be confronted with these tropes that have become so common in teenage shows.

7. alexia. i have to talk about alexia separately here, because that’s the most we’ve ever seen from a chris character (not counting eskam cris, ofc), and i loved her so much. she wants to be a videogame designer and she’s creative and adorable. she always knew how to make arthur laugh, but also knew when he needed words of affirmation and she was never shy in telling him how much she loved him. it was also amazing seeing her open up about some of her insecurities, and that her confidence is something she had to work on as well. she was such a great friend & girlfriend and just ugh the best.

7.1 the female characters are badass and unapologetic. i am aware that the love triangle was unnecessary and a mess. but i am not mad about the way both characters were represented, because they were both great characters. i liked alexia more simply because i was already attached to her from previous seasons, but noée was badass as well and teaches arthur so much, and not only about her experience as a deaf person, but about life/love in general.

8. arthur’s relationship with his mom. we LOVE and STAN parents in the skamverse. arthur and his mom had the best relationship ever; i loved how they truly became a team by the end of the season. but since the moment she showed up, it meant so much that arthur could have at least one supportive and loving parent, no matter how much he screwed up or felt lost. his mom was really trying her best and i adored her.

9. *actual* adult advice. i understand why all the adults in the skamverse are a bit cringey and weird, but i feel like this results in these characters relying on each other’s poor advice throughout an entire season before they realize what they actually should do. and the talk with the school’s nurse and his doctor by the end of the season was meaningful AF and i wish something the remakes would explore more often, because it could resolve so many of their issues just talking to someone who knows better, lol.

10. the relationships with the girlsquad. i know this is actually very intentional of skam france - to build a specific kind of dynamic between the main and all the side characters. we saw that in season 3, and i think it’s a lot more evident here, but it still made a lot of sense and warmed my heart so much. arthur and imane were the purest - she was the first one to notice that something was wrong with him and also reached out to give him advice on how medical school could still be a possibility even with his disability when she absolutely didn’t have to, but she’s just a sweetheart like that. arthur and daphné had a lot more tension, which is understandable, because both are protective of their own best friends (bas and alexia) and would defend them to the ends of the earth. i think they honestly have a lot more in common than they think. but my favorite dynamic was arthur and emma. i totally did not expect for emma to have such a part in this season, but every single one of their interactions was Gold. emma could see a lot of herself in arthur and i think that’s why she was so quick to notice that he wasn’t interested in becoming a surgeon at all. that scene when she says it would’ve been nice to have arthur as a brother was the sweetest thing Ever.

11. i’ll finish with the acting. y’all, the guy who plays arthur literally CARRIED this season and i hope his back is doing fine. he was So powerful - he made me cry, and laugh, and feel frustrated. he delivered every single emotion perfectly. i also think that the fact these actors are friends irl (i assume? lol but i think i’ve seen them in each other’s personal IG stories) really helps their chemistry on camera. le gang feels like a group of brothers/best friends and they were always so natural and effortless in their interactions. the new actors also Rocked and delivered so much emotion even if they were using a completely different language and it was awesome.

(also, this just literally applies to *me*, a lucas lallemant HOE, but it was so nice seeing lucas up close from a different perspective. the fact we could still see so many layers of him: his emotional self, his bratty self, his supportive self, even a touch on his abandonment issues and everything made me so happy. i think sometimes i forget the lucas character was real and not something i made up because he feels too good to be true, and it was really interesting seeing him from arthur’s POV).

i’m not here defending the mistakes they made in s5, i don’t think it’s a perfect season either, but tbh i have yet to find what i consider to be a perfect season in the skamverse, so here’s just some things i liked about this season that i feel like y’all should take into consideration as well. thx

[ishouldbestudyingprobably]

Hey uh- could i request another barley x reader? the previous one was so cute! maybe some sort of date night one-shot? whatever you chose!❤️

Thank you so much for requesting!! I’m gonna become the CEO of Barley fanfics LOL! (I’d gratefully take that title tho)

To put you on a bit of context, this takes place AFTER the movie unlike my previous one-shot, of course I’ll try to keep it as spoiler free as possible considering the movie is going to come out to Disney + in just a few days and some of you haven’t seen it yet, but maybe I slip something so, please beware.

Also, I have been reading more fanfics in English recently and noticed they are written in a you-did-this-and-said-that way instead of how we do them in Spanish; I’ll be continuing to them in my way unless you guys tell me it annoys you or something.

WELL, SORRY FOR KEEPING YOU WAITING, LET’S GET TO IT! ALSO THIS IS SO LONG SORRY--

(Y/N) definitely had no idea how she ended up on the Lightfoot’s home. Now, listen, it’s not that she didn’t like them ‘cause she as hell did it was just confusing considering a few hours prior to that she was just walking around the neighborhood.

“Ian, come on! Show her your magic!” Barley was having a hard time since he was trying so hard to make his little brother show the girl how his magic worked and poor Ian was shy about it, sure his confidence had been boosted but, come on, that was way too much pressure.

“Barley it’s okay, really, I believe you. I bet it’s amazing and you guys make an incredible team together. Let Ian go.” the girl chuckled seeing as the smaller elf smiled thankful and made his way out of the room feeling relieved.

“What? No! Ian get back here!!” see, the boy with a cast on his arm was hoping to use his brother as an excuse to have the female the longest time possible by his side, he was definitely going to ask her on a date but needed that boost of confidence being in a room with people gave.

Although now that they were alone he wouldn’t lie saying it wasn’t enjoyable, but soon that intimate moment of piece was to be broken by the young girl standing up making the bed rigid on the side she had been sitting on.

“This was... fun. But I really should get going home, my family would be worried plus it’s lunch time and... You know.” (Y/N) tried to excuse herself as politely as possible seeing as how she didn’t want to give the impression she wasn’t having fun and didn’t enjoy the presence of the older son of the Lightfoot’s family. Barley soon realized he had to jump now and ask her out or he’d never get the chance to. “Would you like to meet me? Alone? Maybe drive around, have dinner...” the boy put on his widest smile as if that were going to make her accept his invitation.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait. Are you... Asking me out? On a date? Tonight?” the girl replied trying to hide her grin while putting a strand of her voluminous hair behind her pointy ear which had efficiently caught the male’s attention. “I wouldn’t call it a date, more like a quest to make you fall in love with me because I totally am and it would be pretty cool if you did as well? But, you could always call it a date, I wouldn’t correct you even though you’re completely wrong.” that was enough to make the small elf chuckle which made Barley’s heart skip a few beats.

“It’d be a pleasure to help you complete this quest oh-so-awesome Barley Lightfoot. How about 8? No need for formal clothes, quests don’t require suits or dresses.” now it was him who was chuckling, how couldn’t he? His friend had never ever ever played his favourite roleplaying game yet always tried her best to make as much references to it without completely failing at the process, it was adorable. “8 sounds amazing. Farewell, oh-so-cool-to-play-games (Y/N) (S/N).”

And so the time came and the bell started ringing; one, two, three, four times and just as the fifth was about to made itself present the girl rushed to the door “Okay, okay got it! I’m coming!” grabbing the door handle she opened it revealing the young elf wearing a suit -well, a modified one since the sleeves of his jacket were completely gone and decided to wear jeans with the suit, formal for sure- contrasting with her usual clothing. “We said no dressing up!” the boy just shrugged and clearing his throat he moved to the side revealing Guinevere 2 in all its glory. “Shall we get going?” the girl smiled and gladly accepted getting out and making sure to close the door.

They made their way to the van and Barley hurried to open the door of the passenger seat bowing as his friend got inside and closed the door trying -and failing- to hide his smile. As soon as they were both seated the boy opened her mouth and took a folded piece of paper from his pocket. “So, (Y/N)... I hope your ready for our quest because I’ve been planning this all day!” slowly the boy opened the folded paper showing a drawn map of different places in Mushroomton that he thought would be of interest and appropriate for a date surprising his companion in the process. “Did you realy do that? That’s so impressive…” the male just smiled and motioned for her to hold the map and turned on the engine.

“Now my incredible partner, tell me, which is the first stop?” he couldn’t help the excitement his tone glad everything was going according to plan at the moment.

“Uhm, well, the exciting-full-of-teenagers house of fun?” what kind of name was that? The drawing didn’t really gave much about the place either, not only because his art skills weren’t exactly… Clear?

But because he modified them to be fitting on the Quests of Yore world. “Heading there!” and just like that the car drive began. They both were constantly talking and joking, it may have been a date-quest thing but after all they were still friends, why would they be quiet?

When they finally arrived to the place she got out the car excited to see what it was about and found a luminous neon sign indicating the entry to the arcade.

“The arcade was the exciting-full-of-teenagers house?” again the elf just shrugged grinning which made the female roll her eyes. “Amazing! I’m actually thinking this is going to be the greatest day of my life…”

What can I say? Videogames were definitely something they both were extremely good at and that sparked a tiny competition between them. Driving games? You bet! That knock the clown game that’s always typically seen in carnivals at those cheesy romantic movies? Yup! In the end they decided to count the tickets each one got to decide a winner.

“I’ve got… 238 tickets, how about you, Lightfoot?” the boy didn’t seem happy and (Y/N) soon knew he was dreading his defeat. “I got 197....” mockery could be heard from the female’s lips before they cut off the rivalry and decided to combine both of their tickets getting 435 tickets which were enough for…

“A unicorn rubber?!” the girl sighed as they were gettin in the car again. “I hate this stupid games, they’re fun but you alway have to win around a billion tickets to actually WIN something.” she continued ranting, something Barley found really entertaining but cut her off mid sentence as they were running out of time. “When did you have to get home?” it effectively cut her off. There was a small silence

before she could respond “Around 10 I believe, you know how they are…” he just nodded and looked at his watch; it was 9:17 meaning they had to do a shortcut on their plans.

“Okay, we’re runnin out of time, skip the following two places and tell me the next one after them.” she did as asked and traced the drawn road with her fingers. “It says brainwash.” an odd name for sure.

“Brainwash it is.”

Of course, brainwash was referring to movies, they were going to watch a movie specifically a drive in movie, is there anything more romantic than that? No.

“Barley… This is so sweet, thank you! What movie are they playing?” turning her head towards the giggly boy she asked nothing but amusement in her face. “No idea. I’m gonna go grab popcorn, make yourself comfortable on top of Guinevere 2, please.” just like that he was gone and (Y/N) had a new adventure, finding the way she could get on the van’s roof.

After a while Barley got back with a huge stack of popcorn finding her loved one on the roof, smiling to himself he admired all of her features. Soon he got on top shaking the oh-so-special van on the process. “Here’s the popcoooorn!” he announced with an excited tone and put them between him and the girl.

The movie was ten minutes in and no noise was heard but the sound of chewing popcorn. Leaning in the female asked in the boy’s ear “Do you like this movie?” he replied in a whisper “No it’s so boring.” that’s when they both started laughing being shushed by the cars around them. “Let’s get out of here. We still have twenty minutes left.” Without bothering to take the popcorn they both walked north finding a calm forest where they laid on the grass looking at the sky. “So, Barley, is it true? That you like me?”

That was a very direct question he definitely wasn’t prepared for “Well, of course it is! You’re an incredible girl, an incredible friend and I bet you’d be an incredible girlfriend!” the girl chuckled making Barley’s heart melt. And then, he asked “Do you like me?”. Silence hurts, so much, but before any assumption could be made she replied “Yes, of course I do.”

Silence again.

“So, have you completed your quest now?” (Y/N) curiously asked. “I still have one more thing to do.” and, the kiss came.

QUEST COMPLETED.

Oh boy was that long... Hope you enjoyed your request and for everyone else, request! Don't be shy!

TAGLIST:

@ferox-imagines @s-ferox

[unholyplumpprincess]

Hello! We talk so im on anon and i kinda wanna see what you think. Matchup please? Im 5'2, genderfluid, bisexual and an overall weirdo. Im really submissive and i love BDSM, specifically cnc and shibari. I also have a love for cute things like kittens and plushies, but I will not hesitate to throw down at any given time. Violence is just fun. I tend to prefer masc folks, but everyone is at risk with me. I also fucking love food. More than someone should...and it shows. Im down for anything since Im curious, but prefer Apex.

Adding your second anon here too!:  I gotchu! Sorry about that. Im super cuddly for the most part, but sometimes I have really bad sensory issues. Im very protective over people I love! Oh! Im also poly! I also have BPD, and that really affects my personality. My love language is like, i bring you things. I love bringing those I love crystals!! I really love when people show me affection by cuddles or communicating. My hobbies are writing, cosplay, videogames and fuckin. I collect a lot of crystals for my altar, but i dont know that i really have religion? Im fairly quiet and don't like a lot of attention on me. Id rather stay home and read or play apex than be out and about. My partners like cooking for me because it always leads to the frickfrack. I guess my style is goth/punk with a dash of redneck since i love going mudding and hunting. Yeah, im weird. Hopefully this is enough!

Now unfortunately, even on anon, I’m 99% sure I know who u are so I shall try not to be biased and pair u up with Caustic but I can do u one better at least!

I maaatch you wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiith!!!

Bloodhound!

Warnings: R18+/NSFT under the cut, Parts left ambiguous bc not specified!, Bloodhound is mentioned with a strap on and my specific headcanons, cnc roleplay implied briefly!

________________________

Let’s all be real now, every nb person is naturally like ‘ooo friend?’ when we hear abt another nb/trans person. So that’s probably what makes Bloodhound curious of you in the first place, just already a leg to stand on in ‘common grounds’ sort of ways. It probably starts out that way too, the friendship. Of course, you’re rather sexual, and that exudes quite clearly- not that Bloodhound minds at all, no, but it does make it harder to Not want to sink their teeth into you.

If you bring Bloodhound some sort of bone or crystal, you can count them as interested right away. Especially if either were something they brought up so briefly as needing for their own worships or personal interests. They like that you listen, they like even more that you decide to gift them things. As their own love language is gift giving, as a means to traditionally court you and see if you are interested in them. Albeit, you’re certainly more Open about courting than they are, and you can practically Feel them blush under their mask when you offer them things.

In public, they won’t draw attention to you- especially with knowledge you don’t like the attention- but in private they are a Very touchy person. Liking to have arms around your or vice versa, they especially are a big fan of spooning and just holding onto someone. Arthur takes a grand liking to you as well.

As far as the bedroom though? Good luck.

~Rest under the cut~

Poor little prey. You want to be tied up? Be made into their little thing to use as they please? Not a problem. They’ll ruin you, leave bites all over you to ensure you know who you belong to. They’re a big fan of increasing the size of their strap on as well, finding your limits and wanting to prod at them further. They’re a huge fan of tying you down in the woods or to a tree for that matter, pulling your hair and forcing your gaze down to see how they press their strap into you and croon, “Is it too big, my love? Surely you can take it.” 

Or you don’t even get a say. A hand over your mouth and a snarl for you to take it. Of course, as a proper dom, they have safe words and safe signals so never fear on them ever taking things too far. They always prefer to have plans before hand, so often times the hour or two before anything sexual occurs they’ll lay out their plans for you just to ensure nothing catches you off guard.

Get ready for their god complex as well. You’ll be made to worship them or be used however they please. You may even end up with a strap on on you and them taunting you about how you can fuck them better than that.

Good luck on trying to match their stamina and sexual appetite.

[delanyb]

Since I’ve been slacking off with the Fnaf headcanon series for quite some time now, with no good reason, have some AR skins and event character headcanons

Shamrock Freddy

Like Frostbear and Firework Freddy,he’s a Freddy made specifically for the holidays. St. Patrick day to be exact

Has a Irish ascent to go with his holiday theme

Similar to Rockstar Freddy, he desires Faz-coin to a unhealthy degree

Enjoys talking about St. Patrick day traditions and folklore.

Is pretty self-centered

Usually picks on Frostbear for no good reason

All the other animatronics who take part in the Fazbear Funtime Service either are indifferent to him like Chica or 8 Bit Baby. While others like regular Freddy and Bonnie hate him for just being a overall jerk

In some instances when the animatronics are being shipped together in trucks for customers, a Shamrock Freddy always seems to cause some sort of commotion that usually leaves everyone in mangled animatronic parts by the end

The company was actually considering removing him off from the service completely given all the problem he caused

But considering that he makes for great revenue during the St. Patrick day season, they just left him alone for the other animatronics to deal with.

Firework Freddy

Aside from Chica with her cupcake, he’s the only one who comes with a accessory.

Has lots of nicknames, but the most common ones are Firework and just Summer Freddy

All the other animatronics find his firework very cool

Springtrap however does not becuase anything that goes boom gives him flashbacks to when the springlocks snappped back in the saferoom all those years ago...

Is a expert on cooking with a barbecue

Has a lot of knowledge on sport related stuff from all over the world

Hates the cold

However he doesn’t hate Frostbear and feels bad for him becuase of Shamrock Freddy’s constant bullying

Has a lot of extras clothes and extra accessories that correspond with the traditions of the customer(s) that ordered a vist from him

For instance, he may be all decked out for 4th of July one year, and the next you’ll see a bear ready for the beach and so fourth.

Constantly switching his attire for each visit does get a little annoying, but for him, making people happy in the end makes it worth all the hassle.

VR Toy Freddy

Is a completely different entity than regular Toy Freddy

Is the textbook definition of absolute gamer chad

Playing video games takes first priority for him

Recently he’s been playing the newest instalment in the fnamh’s (Five Nights At Mr Hug’s) series

He’s quite clumsy and bumps into other animatronics or common house things likes selves on a daily basis

But on the rare chance he’s not using his headset he’s usually making absurd theorys on what’s going on with the lore in the new Vr game

His main theory is that that this new strange crate looking character escaped from dumper purgatory from the previous game in the series and placed themselves into the in universe VR game.

Shamrock Freddy question why he’s still invested in that series though. As he states, the original trilogy is the best and that it all went downhill once that weird gumball machine used paper plates as a skin suit.

Whenever He or anyone else for that matter says something along the lines of that, VR Toy Freddy always goes into essay long arguments for why he’s wrong. He’s very quick to defend his favourite franchise

Jokes that he’s The Man Behind The Slaugher unironically even when the meme has died ( *In this universe the man behind the slaughter meme exists because of the Fnaf 1 news paper clippings, along with the fact that Springtrap is a well known entity thanks to HW, and the Fazbear Funtime service.*

Chocolate Bonnie

Nicknames are Choco Bonnie, and unfortunately as immature as it, Poop Bonnie

He’s made of real actual chocolate

Once somebody’s dog took a big bite out of his bottom right stomach area that simply couldn’t be repaired. The dog took 87 bites out of him btw

That’s why every single copy of the Chocolate Bonnie model scanned in after that day has that big and distracting hole

His three button and botie are mint candy flavoured

Real Easter eggs are hidden inside his stomach cavity and are placed near his endo parts

Though he’s more appropriate for Easter time, sometime he’s advertised for the Halloween season for that trick or treat goodness

Similar to Bon-Bon and Funtime Freddy , Easter and Chocolate Bonnie are a two in one package.

Given the surprising popularity of the Funtime Service, (*in universe*) a merch store has being set up to only spread word of their brand but to bring these beloved characters in the pop culture consensus again, and Chocolate Bonnie gets a bunch of merch

Whether it be a coffee mug,a shirt, or the type of chocolate bunny you’ll see in those craft stores, Cholocate Bonnie has it all.

Easter Bonnie

Is very dramatic and has a showman like personality. (Similar to Funtime Foxy in UCN)

His Easter egg pattern on his stomach area is actually drawn with crayons and the circles are get plain circle shaped stickers you would find at the your local dollar store. Goes to show that the Fazbear Funtime Service sticks to the roots of Fazbear Entertainment, being really cheep

How Easter and Chocolate Bonnie entertain customers is that Easter Bonnie usually has a “dramatic” retelling of the Easter bunny fairytale while Chocolate Bonnie’s the food, customers can eat while enjoying the play

He’s quite athletic

The “Happy Easter” tag on the top of his ear isn’t actually a intentional design choice

Easter Bonnie just stole it from a random candy store nearby

Some confuse him as a winter themed Bonnie covered in snow due to his mainly white colour palette. Considering that Freddy Frostbear’s a thing that isn’t that much of a stretch

Can perfectly imitate any of the other animatronic’s voices. It honestly shocks animatronics like Springtrap or Foxy with how well Easter Bonnie can capture this respective accents to a tee

He prefers to hop like a actual bunny than walking normally

Loves decorating Easter eggs.

Toxic Springtrap

All that purple goo is actually just fungi infected with some of that classic remnant

Due to his frightening nature he’s only available during Halloween time

However despite his looks he’s actually quite kind at heart. Much more than regular Springtrap that’s for sure

Is actually scared of the dark

He likes playing chess

Doesn’t like the fact that he’s advertised as something to be feared

Usually hangs around with 8-Bit Baby the most and the two usually play board games all day

Although like everyone else he feels some sort of discomfort whenever he’s shocked, the pain is really minor for him compared to other animatronics

Given that he’s only desired during the month of spooks, for the rest of the year, he’s left alone at the factory where all the animatronics are constructed and duplicated in the first place

Due to this he’s got a pleta of abandonment isssues

System Error Toy Bonnie

His head, body and limbs can be detached and put back together very easily

That’s how he entertains customers in fact. He’s basically a animatronic sized construction set, similar to Mangle

Their eyes glow bright orange in darkness

Is able to phaze through physical objects

Due to some people complaining about regular Toy Bonnie’s voicebox, the team chose to implant stock computer sound effects into System Error Toy Bonnie’s voicebox rather than actual dialogue.

Knows your WiFi password

Is taller than regular Toy Bonnie

The system error phrase near his stomach area gets brighter amd brighter whenever his costume shell is damaged

Static electricity flows through him from time to time. So it recommend that whenever a customer should wear gloves and other appropriate safety equipment when interacting with the animatronic

Balloon Boy always tries to get the static electricity balloon trick to work, but it never seems to work. System Error Toy Bonnie could really care less about this ordeal though

Highscore Toy Chica

Loves playing video games

But unlike Vr Toy Freddy, Her life doesn’t focus on it 24/7

She likes playing a variety of games too. virtual games, handheld games, games on consoles, board games, etc

Is very supportive

Knows what emojis are

Considering that she’s meant to be hip with the kids, she knows a lot about current gaming and fandom culture in general

Is a pretty good speed runner when it comes to video games

Although it doesn’t happen often she can get quite serious when it comes to gaming. You can tell when she’s just playing for fun or not if her endoskeleton eyes and grey are exposed

is indifferent to the term “Gamer Girl”

Hates games where you can’t skip the cutscenes

Radioactive Foxy

A random model of Foxy accidentally found his way into a power plant and eventually got covered in radioactive goo

The higher ups working for the Fazbear Funtime service thought that it would be a shame to throw out a perfectly good plush suit and endo. So after some strange testing involving remnant they just rebranded this as a completely new skin.

Green radioactive material drips over his body all all times

His hook is twice as big as regular Foxy’s. Probably due to the combination of experimenting with both remnant and toxic radioactive goo

Has no eyebrows due to the constant radioactive energy

Thanks to Radioactive Foxy’s transparent look, this was the first time any of the customers got a real good look on the inerworkings on how a endo properly fits into a plush suit.

Is on the hunt for and wants to consume more radioactive energy

Can transform into a more liquid based form

He’s slower than regular foxy but sill runs at a moderately fast pace

One of the more aggressive animatronics in the service alongside the likes of regular Springtrap and Frostbear

8-Bit Baby

Similar to Highscore Toy Chica, she’s meant to be marketed to the gaming crowd.

Specifically those who enjoy old school videogames

Can despense real cupcakes for eating pleasure

Has a extra sprinkler perfect for ice cream decorating

Her fan operates correctly and henceforth can be used for cooling or drying needs

Her microphone is preprogrammed with chiptune styled music

Has become many people’s favourite animatronic and has been in high demand ever since they were first brought to the service due to their uniqueness

Moves at a snail’s pace

Loves playing board games with Toxic Springtrap.

Regualr Circus Baby finds her 8 bit version adorable

[xviicprc]

10 Favorite Characters

Tagged by @pinkafropuffs​ (girl this are so fun to do, thank you!) about my 10 favorite characters so here we go-!

(y’all are ready to see how basic i am?)

1- N (Pokemon)

When will he return from the war-

Ferriswheel shipping flashbacks because honestly? When will Pokemon give us a character as good as N again

2- Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Ah, Fullmetal is basically responsible for me being a weeb lol

While everyone else can do an analysis of his complexity, I simply will say Edward is the sort of character I love as protagonists of anime-

Love how he isn’t either too serious or too goofy. Hmm it’s hard to me to say what I like specifically about him lol. 

Maybe it’s just nostalgia

3- Edmond Dantes (Fate Grand Order)

Ah yes, the current husband of mine- discount Komaeda. 

By seeing my art you should realize how much i love him lol

4- Nanami Kiryuu (Revolutionary Girl Utena)

YOu see, normally I DESPISE characters like Nanami, even after they develop as characters since most of the time they end up being “mean because inferiority complex” HOWEVER Nanami doesn’t have that, she is great and she know’s it!

(Also most of the time, these types of characters aren’t really used comically- and I don’t mean in the sense of “Haha the bully girl got what she deserved!” but instead of this character getting themselves in comical situations)

But it’s the way she matures across the show what made her my favorite among the cast. I love the cast and the show as a whole- but if I had to pick one character among them, it’s Nanami.

5- Akihiko Sanada (Persona 3)

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS-

But jokes aside Akihiko is my favorite character in Persona 3 (well....close tie with Shinjiro BUT).

He is just (lies on the floor) THE character I always romance because his route is just so cute and makes me feel warm and fuzzy having FEELINGS-

And I remember distincly rejecting his advances on accident and then realizing what I did and going “D:!!!!”

THis man right here was my REAL introduction to HAVING FEELINGS for anime men and I’ll never forgive HI-

6- Xion (Kingdom Hearts)

Shoutout to the firsts characters who I made deeper that the author intended.

If you ever have to fight agains me set it to Vector to the Heavens- if you have to avenge me set it to Another Side while you fight. 

Do you fucking know how I was at 12 years old?? No friends, no homework playing KH 358/2 days??? How much I got attached to Roxas and Xion as a lonely girl who was just discovering things about friendship?

so I’ll ramble on about my interpretations on them because i’ll make it as deep as i want-

The way in which they form a friendship related on both knowing about the keyblade and having no memories from their previous life and the way in which it all comes tumbling down thanks to things outside of their control and how much they try to stop it- 

The way Xion is willing to sacrifice herself for a greater good fully knowing that what the Organization is doing is bad and would endanger the worlds at large and how she, on her own accord, chooses to return her memories to sora even if it means dissapearing from the memories from everyone and truly dying in every sense of the world- all while having to run away from the organization because she would drain all the life from roxas because that was how she was created as a puppet-!

And the final clash! the way in which xion uses all of her power left to fight against the control of the organization because she wants roxas to slay her because she would rather die and lend her power to roxas instead of killing him and being used by the organization!

The way that final fight got integrated into the story! how she warns roxas when she will attack, or how she screams at him “STOP HOLDING BACK!” as her last efforts as an individual hanging to the remnants of their bond-!

As an extra note I’m so glad they didnt “end up together”- it was a good showcase of two teens who had a solid friendship that didn’t need to be turned into a romance because they already love eachother as friends!!!

So as you can see i have a lot of feelings for Xion-

7- Kishinami Hakuno (Fate/Extra)

SHOUTOUT to my favorite protagonist in the Fate Franchise she is so good and I just,,,,,,,,,love her?????

(if you pick Male Hakuno you are absolutely invalid)

So I completly love how she ends up inderectly being a subversion of the “amnesiac character self insert” because she NEEDS to start in a black slate for her to grow.

Love how sassy she can be in the dialouge options and SHE ALLOWED SABER ARCHER AND CASTER TO GROW AS PEOPLE and-

Play Fate/Extra

8-Kcalb (The Gray Garden)

He is so good :c when will he return from the hiatus.

Honestly he is the best character in the game and I love his interactions with Etihw and honestly he defined what 14 year old me loves in character design. AESTHETICS

9-Sonic (Sonic the Hedgehog)

Of Course I had to add the one who started this mess.

Sonic the Hedgehog deserves a better writting team than the one he has! SONIC’S CHARACTER PEAKED IN THE FICKUGGN SIDE GAME SONIC AND THE BLACK KNIGHT BUT EVERYONE IS LIKE “HAHA WHAT A BAD RETELLING OF ARTHURIANA”-

So anyways- Sonic the Hedgehog in the GOOD games with story is someone who never gives up no matter how hard or grim everything may seem, and how he shows kindness to those who needs it, who does what HE feels is the right thing, no matter what everyone else may say and maybe I’m reading too deep but this lil fucker whas the first videogame I ever *emulated* owned and had been a part of my childhood since I learned what the Internet was- I pirated the entire anime and took a REAL liking to drawing thanks to him.

Everyone out there in early 2010 tracing anime while I traced Sonic X screenshots lol

10-Steven Quartz Universe (Steven Universe)

I have a lot of feelings for Steven Universe as a show- and especially his protagonist.

When the show started everyone complained how annoying Steven was- but I never found him annoying? I really like how he has “traditionally femenine” traits and powers (healing, shielding, crying a lot) and isn’t shamed for it? The show has MANY problems but it I LOVE it.

And, since the start of the series I liked Steven, I love how he develops in the show, and honestly so many moments I saw myself in him- and then came Steven Universe Future which he explores his trauma after the events of the series- just everything about him just hit’s home- even more than I expected (the cactus Steven-)

How Steven goes from viewing the Gems as these all knowing powerful mother figures- and how he feels as if he has to live up to their expectations, and the impossible barrier set up by his mother at the start of the series-

(How later he view’s himself as a fraud- and how he doesn’t “pay the consequenses” and he is just “as bad as his mother”- the internalized self hatred, his drifting friends and represed trauma- I’m glad the show does this- I don’t think I would have self reflected as much as I did without this show)

Steven Universe is a show I hold close to my heart, so do I with it’s protagonist.

 Haha I don’t feel like tagging people after that lol

[audreyannerp]

Pen Pals

(A roleplay between @askaudreyanne / @audreyannerp and @red-rad-and-rod .) It had been about a week since Audrey met J.C. and his siblings. It was kind of hard to miss them, given Lola seemingly bee-lined towards them during their stay at the park. She was grateful for her pooch’s detour, however, as the three proved to be good company (as did their father, who they had lunch with.) She wasn’t sure how long she should wait before emailing J.C., but figured a week was a long enough wait to not seem overly eager. She did originally intend to only send pictures of the dogs to show his sisters, but now she wanted to talk to him too. She decided to start slow, with a simple email. This is J.C., right? It’s Audrey, from Michigan. Here are some pictures of Lola in some flowers. She wasn’t supposed to be in them, but I just had to snap a few pictures before I got her out! Let me know how you three like them! She hoped asking for a response would lead the way to them talking about more than dogs.

- Ping! Oh, thank goodness, something to actually respond to! Surfing through a seemingly never ending list of ads for things he didn’t need was starting to get tiresome. A few clicks later, J.C. found himself searching through his e-mail. Hmm…junk. Junk. E-mail from Audrey- wait. E-mail from Audrey? … Ah, right! That was who he met over in Michigan when he and the family were over in Michigan! Man…even though they had only hung out for a little bit, he missed her. Her beautiful smile, her cute giggle…sigh~ Snapping out of his little lovestruck trance, he went ahead and read through the message, snickering a bit as he got a glimpse of Lola being a goofball. A short while later (mainly after Syd and Kat stopped squealing over the little pup), he sent back a reply: Yyyyup, it is! At least, that’s what people have been calling me for 23 years… Ahaha, I kid, I kid. 😋 What a little goofball! She’s such a sweetie. Syd and Kat seem to think so too, given the fact that they’ve been fawning over her for the past fifteen minutes or so. And reignited the whole “Mum, Dad, let’s get a dog!” debate, but that’s to be expected. How have things been over by you? - Audrey wasn’t the type to live on her phone or computer, so it was a good thing she had written a note to herself to check her email later. Upon coming home that evening and checking her notebook of reminders, she brought up her email and took a look. She chuckled at J.C.’s response and promptly began typing a reply, pleased he wanted to chat. (Or was at least acting like he wanted to, in order to be polite.) Ohhh deeaarrr XD I hadn’t intended to start a debate. Could you please tell them I’m sorry? Anyway, things have been pretty ordinary over here. Weather is still pretty nice, so I’ve been taking Lola on longer walks. She got a little over excited today though and ran into someone’s garden, as you saw. I was sure to tell her no… after I stopped laughing and taking pictures! XD So, how have things been on your end? - After hitting send, J.C. had to think…did it sound like he seem interested? Did he sound bored? Should he have added more emojis? …Nah, maybe that would’ve been a bit excessive. Maybe a little immature…who knows, maybe Audrey would have thought that Syd or Kat took hold of his computer. Now came the waiting game. He would’ve done a bit more internet browsing, if he hadn’t have been dragged outside by Syd for a game of football. That was probably a more productive way to spend his time, anyway. No real need to worry. (…) Later on, now relaxing with a cup of tea, he went back on and found a reply. Haha, I will! They’ve been getting that for years, but I’m sure they’d appreciate the regards. Glad to see the weather’s manageable. Kind of makes me wish I was back there; right now, we’ve had a couple of gales come through. Nothing too bad, but having to be stuck inside for most of the day. Plus side, it’s supposed to clear up soon. Oooooh, Lola, what’s your mum going to do with you? 😂 Kind of reminds me of this time when Syd was a toddler…she’d done the same thing with our next-door neighbour’s back garden. I’ll have to send the picture in my next e-mail, but the end result was her being held (gently, of course) by her overall straps by our neighbour’s sheepdog! - Audrey discovered his reply the following morning. While she sent her reply early, it was likely the afternoon over where J.C. was. Wish you were here for the weather? Are you sure you don’t just want to see me? HA! I kid. I kid. We barely know each other. Aaaanywaaaaay… A sheepdog holding a toddler? That sounds both hilarious and adorable! You have GOT to send me that picture! Let’s just hope karma doesn’t come back to bite me. Mom and Dad recorded EVERYTHING when I was a kid. They have soooo many VHS tapes in the basement. Photo albums too. For a non-photogenic child, they sure loved taking pictures of me. - Why did time zones have to be a thing? He could respond at ten in the morning, and it’d only be five A.M. over by her…ah well. Upon reading Audrey’s response, he couldn’t help but blush a little. Okay, yeah, part of it was the weather, but part of it was because he wanted to see her. Weeeeell, that would be a major plus, if I’m being honest. …Does that sound creepy? Jeez, I hope it doesn’t; virtual communication’s tricky that way. 😓. If it did sound that way, I do apologize! Guess, ah…guess I should get on with the rest of this reply. Heheh… Don’t worry, little me wasn’t exactly the poster child for being photogenic, either. Guess it must be a parent thing…mine were the same way. I’ve made sure to bury one of the albums that has the MOST embarrassing ones as deeply as I can in storage, but somehow they keep finding it. Speaking of ‘embarrassing’ photos… Ask and ye shall receive~ Not going to lie, her face still cracks me up; sort of like she’s saying “Curses! Foiled again!”

- Audrey was pleasantly surprised to see that J.C. seemed to enjoy her company as well. Aw, really? You’re sweet~ <3 Don’t worry; no creepiness detected! Well, you know parents and their magic able-to-find-stuff powers. You could search for something for hours and they’ll point to it right in front of your face! That photo is somehow more adorable and hilarious than I thought it would be! She really was a scamp from the very beginning, wasn’t she? Anyway, if you’re interested, maybe I could tell you a bit about myself and vice-versa? Make sure I’m someone you want to see again? - Oh, good! This was off to a great start~ Phew! Good, good. Just want to make sure, y’know? True, true. Heck, you could try to send something that you don’t want seen to…I don’t know, Antarctica…and they’d still manage to find it. Haha, yeeeeah; once she started crawling, it was all downhill from there! Sure, why not? I think it’s better one-on-one as opposed to doing it in front of a group, like on the first day of school. That whole “what’s your name, what’s your major, one fun fact about yourself” spiel. How should we do this? Do you want to go first or should I? - Well, I suggested it, so I guess I’ll go first. Now let’s see… My full name is Audrey Anne Davis. I’m currently 24 years old and my birthday is March 27th. I’m a college graduate and I work as a personal trainer at a local gym. My hobbies include working out, cooking, listening to music, and dancing. Not sure what else to put so, uh, your turn! (P.S. Feel free to ask me anything!) - My turn it is, then. Soooo, let’s see…mine is Jean-Claude Henri Malone (née Bellerose), currently 23, aaaand my birthday’s August 23rd. Right now, I’m working on my bachelor’s (almost done, though!)…started in gen. studies, decided to do something with humanities. I do a bit of work at the student bookstore, aaaand my hobbies include listening to music, playing videogames, reading…aaaand I would say I enjoy a bit of footy every now and again. Aha, dancing, eh? Any specific training (e.g. ballet, hip hop, anything of that sort) or is it more like “put on some tunes and see where the music takes you”? (P.S. Likewise!) - I have to admit, I had to Google née and footy. XD Anyway, I learned to dance from my dad. He took some classes when he was a kid, but is mostly self taught. (He’s REALLY good!) I pretty much just go with the music. I know some specific dance moves, but I don’t really know how to do those fancy dances you’d do at a ball. What kind of books do you like to read? I’m not much of a reader myself, but I do listen to audio books on occasion. I’m not exactly the brightest bulb, so I try to stick to books that don’t have seven layers of meanings you have to analyze in order to understand and enjoy them. - Ah, yes, the “English to English” thing. If I find one of those sorts of dictionary, I’ll be sure to send it your way. XD Interesting! That’s how I tend to dance as well…I’ve been meaning to take one of those “ballroom dancing” classes, just for the heck of it, buuuut…dunno, haven’t had the time as of late. (Or a partner for that matter, but that was a different story.) Just kind of want it as some random skill to have under my belt. I’m not super picky- if something looks interesting, I’ll pick it up, read the first couple of chapters, see where it goes. Though I will say, audio books are a godsend…always good for plane or car rides, if you’re not the one driving. I totally feel you on that whole “analysis” thing; that used to throw me in secondary school so much. “The blue door is supposed to represent the main character’s feelings of sadness”…mmmmaaaaybe the author just really likes the colour blue? 🤔 Personally, I always like to recommend “Le Petit Prince” by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (don’t worry, there is an English translation…and about 298 others, haha). There’s some analysis like that that could come with it, but not a ton. It’s one of those stories that doubles as a “children’s” story and one for adults, as well. - You never know when you’ll have to break into a waltz! I jotted down that title in my handy dandy notebook, so I should remember to look into it. (The act of writing things down helps me to remember. You should see how many notebooks I go through in a year! LOL) Speaking of children’s stories, have you ever read any Goosebumps books? I only read one as a kid and it really scared me, so I never read any more. I wonder if I could handle them now. The problem is my fight or flight response is just a fight response. If I get nervous, I might hit things out of reflex. I once accidentally broke my dad’s nose as a kid because he snuck up on me. I felt SO BAD. My mom couldn’t stop laughing though. She was actually recording when it happened, so that infamous family moment is on tape. - True, very true! 🤣 I have, actually! Read a few when I was a bit younger- my favourite had to be the ‘Night of the Living Dummy’ stories. They were pretty creepy, I have to admit…although I stumbled upon another series around the same time that, I argue, is quite creepier. I’m not sure if a series known as “Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids” made its way over to the states, but hoooo boy. It was made into a TV series as well…not much better in terms of toning down the creepiness. I used to say it makes Goosebumps look like Mother Goose! 😮 (Granted, I don’t think Goosebumps is supposed to be a series that scares you into good behaviour whereas G.T.F.G.K. sort of is, buuuut…still kind of has you going “WHAT did I just read?!”) Okay, just reading that made me cringe, ouch! Remind me to never spook you…or if there’s ever a time we’re over in the states for Halloween, remind me to not take you to a haunted house/scary movie. If it’s any consolation, there’s quite a bit of embarrassing footage of small me as well, haha. “Cowboy J.C.”, “Super J.C.”, tiny siblings/cousins spitting up on me, you name it. 😅 - It doesn’t sound familiar to me, but I was never on the lookout for such things. Scaring kids into behaving? Ick. I’m of the belief that you should influence a child with positivity. I don’t mean in a spoiling kind of way. I just think finding the cause of a problem is more important than punishing the child. And when it does come to punishments, never do something that can damage them in the long run. Don’t be too lenient though. It is important to learn that actions have consequences. There has to be a balance. Sorry for the ramble there. It’s just that the way children are treated is important to me and I do not censor myself with such things. I’ll be sure to remind you. I’m not a fan of scary things. Unless they’re a fun type of scary, like paper bats or those fuzzy spider decorations. We’ve only ever had really silly looking spider decorations at our house during Halloween because my mom’s arachnophobic. If they’re too realistic, she gets the heebie-jeebies. Speaking of embarrassing, I feel it only fair to you and Syd that I share a photo of my own.

Guess who. - Hey, that’s fair! And makes sense, too. My thing is just…kind of let them do their thing (to an extent) and experience the world, just guide them along the way, you know? If they’re being a little butt (or rather, standard kid who’s still learning) about something, tell them why they shouldn’t be in a way that they understand; cause and effect. Like yes, you may want to eat six ice lollies in a row, but if you do, you’ll get a stomachache. Kiddo knows from experience that stomachaches suck, so a compromise of one or two ice lollies is made. As you said, balance is key. Aaaah, arachnophobia. Guess I’ll have to tell Syd that if she wants to show your mum a cool spider she found to…well, not to. XD; Awww-ha-ha-ha-haaaw, caught red-handed! I guess since I’ve put Syd and you through it, I figure one of mine wouldn’t hurt, either:

Apparently, small me did not like the idea of a fork, haha. - I’m glad we have similar views on children. I think we’re going to get along juuuuuust fiiiiiiiine. (Don’t get me wrong. I won’t hold it against anyone if they aren’t good with kids. Just don’t be mean to them.) Awww, you’re adorable~ Hmm… This email is a little short. I’ll just add some random stuff about me here. I love plush animals and have a LOT of them. My favorite fruit is either strawberries or raspberries. I hate pickles, but I like cucumbers. I can do the splits. … I’m out of stuff to say. - Right? I mean, they’re people, too. Just…y’know, tiny. XD As long as you try, then that’s what counts. Eheheheh, I mean…kiiinda? 😅 This was one of the ones I could find that wasn’t completely embarrassing. I think Dad’s in possession of one of the ones that would made me melt into a puddle of shame. Hm, so’s this one. Guess I’ll follow suit? My favoruite fruits are probably apples and watermelon. I can touch the tip of my nose with my tongue. I like those indoor trampoline parks, buuuut the last place you’ll catch me is in the foam block pit (of course, guess who loves to go in those). If I had to pick my top three favourite animals, I’d have to say either cats (big or small), dogs (same), ooooor elephants. - I can’t really think of much to say this time around, but I’ll leave you with this. Given your favorite animals, I’d say I can always rely on you to address the elephant in the room! - LOL! 🤣🤣🤣 Haha, that’s alright. Guess that means we’ll have more to talk about the next time around. I think?I hope? XD; - It was a few days later that Audrey took the time to really sit down and think of something to write. Sorry for the wait on this one. I wanted to actually have something to say this time. Before I forget though, did you guys remember to try Blue Moon ice cream while you were here? Anyway, I find it so odd to think about how, if it wasn’t for Lola, we might have never met. Well, maybe not never, given our dads work for the same company. We might not have met until much later, if not for Lola. How neat and silly is it that my dog found me a pen pal? Also, I was able to think up some more questions for you! What are some of your favorite animated movies? What about songs? Desserts? Oh! By the way, here’s a video of Daisy my mom took the other day. It’s amazing how high that little dog can jump when treats are involved. - Now, logically, J.C. knew that taking a few days to respond was no real issue. Perhaps Audrey had gotten preoccupied with other tasks. That was typical for a twenty-something nowadays (he should know, he was one). A small part of him, though, couldn’t help but feel as though she had lost interest in him. If he had, he wasn’t the kind of person to be bitter about it…maybe a bit upset, but…Audrey was her own person, she had the right to make her own decisions. When he got a reply a few days later, that fear had melted away…then again, a video of a little dog getting some serious air in the name of treats always helps. Hey, no worries! We did, actually. Interesting flavour! Kind of like cotton candy, but also kind of not. If “blue” itself can qualify as a flavour, I guess, that’s what I’d call it. Kind of bites that wer don’t have it over here. Guess that gives me a reason to go back to the States, LOL. Ooo, okay, let’s see…I’d have to say one of the more recent ones is Ernest & Celestine. When I was little, apparently, I used to watch My Neighbor Totoro at least once or twice a week. I don’t remember, though, if I had watched it in English or in Japanese with the subtitles on. Might have been the latter, I only know the song in Japanese (and that’s….probably the extent of my Japanese XD. I can’t translate it, but I can sing it, so there’s that!). Songs, I’m all over the place, so I can’t exactly list a specific one. Mum and Dad like the Beatles, and they grew on me, sooo I guess there’s them? Will have to get back to you on that one, haha. Dessert-wise…can’t go wrong with creme brulee, that’s for sure~ Hot fudge sundaes are a close second. To be honest, I’ll take any offerings when it comes to sweets. 😋 Ha! Man, she’s got some power there…imagine her trying to make slam dunks! …Granted…that’s….kind of hard to do without thumbs, but…you get what I mean. I think? I know, right? I’m not entirely sure what dogs think about, but can you imagine if she was actively/knowingly playing matchmaker? ‘yes, hello there other human, meet mine’. 🤣 Guess that makes it my turn for questions? Mine are kind of weird, but: What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to? What was the last song you sung along to? What’s your favorite type of day? (weather, temp, etc.) - Blue really is the best way to describe that flavor! Hard to imagine that ice cream as any other color. Then again, it might work in another color as long as it’s pastel. I think it’s pastel flavor. LOL Ernest & Celestine looks adorable! As for the other one… Honestly, it would probably have scared me as a kid. I think it’s the art style. Something about how big their mouths get, maybe. I don’t know… Nothing against the movie though! Just not my preference in style, you know?I’d say a few of my favorite animated movies are The Lion King, Lilo and Stitch, and the Emperor’s New Groove. I like to think New Groove is safe for any audience because no one dies; not even the villain.I like the Beatles as well! My music taste is varied. If something sounds good, I like it. Genre doesn’t really matter. Creme brulee? I’ve never had that. I do like custard though, so I imagine I would like it. And who doesn’t like hot fudge sundaes?! I love sweets as well! Yeah, I get it! Maybe we could get her a little basketball and hoop? She could carry the ball in her mouth! Her dribbling will be drool! XD I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what dogs are thinking. As for your questions, rock climbing might be fun? I’ve climbed indoor rock walls, but never the real thing. I honestly can’t remember the last song I sung along to. I kind of sing bits and pieces or hum when I listen to music, as opposed to full on singing along. Maybe I can go with the most recent song on my iPod? It was Fortune Teller by Maroon 5. I tend to find good things in any type of day, really. If I had to choose though, I’d say a sunny mid-spring day. The temperature would be right in the middle, not too hot, not too cold. Maybe the occasional cool breeze to help you feel alive, but enough sun that you don’t need a light jacket, but can wear one without burning up. Woof! That was a lot of typing! Maybe we could do an audio chat or something, one of these days? She hoped she wasn’t being too forward, but, seeing as they’ve spoken in person, she reasoned it wasn’t a big deal. - 😂😂😂 Eh, blue, pastel…close enough. Still tasty, regardless! 😋 Totally understandable! To each their own, right? Ooo, I might have to recommend New Groove to Kat. I’ve seen it a couple of times, but she hasn’t. I think anytime we’ve tried to settle down and watch it, something comes up (i.e., she’s going to a friend’s house, I had plans with a few of my friends, etc.). Lilo and Stitch is a pretty good one (def. one of Syd’s faves), and who DOESN’T like The Lion King? Can’t help but sing along with it, haha. Remind me to send you a recipe for some. It can be a little tricky, but it’s not like you have to have four or five things going at once. J.C. stopped typing for a couple minutes, trying to move his wrists around and get some of the building carpal tunnel aches to calm down a bit. Maybe Audrey had the right idea, switching over to audio calls… As for audio chat, I’m perfectly fine with that! Just want to let you know that I am about four to five hours ahead of your time zone (I believe that’s what it is? Daylight Savings is a weird concept…I guess for part of the year, it’s four and then the other part is five.). Whenever you’re feeling up to it. :) - Oh, right. Forgot about the time difference. Oops. LOL I tend to wake up at six in the morning and head to bed around ten at night. My work schedule isn’t a typical nine to five deal, being a personal trainer and all. I generally work when the client isn’t; so it’s usually in the mornings and evenings. I suppose the best time to catch me is early in the morning and midday, my time. Or on my days off, of course. Do you have an account on Discord? I figured we could do our chatting there. - Time-zones, mon amie; Une vraie douleur dans le cul…😩 Early morning, midday, and days off…duly noted! So that’d be afternoon to early evening here, I believe. Works out, though- my available times tend to be later in the day my time. I do- Name on there is OuiOuiJC#0714. If you see a profile picture that has a ferret in a beret, and they’re holding a baguette and glass of wine, that’s me. - Audrey couldn’t help but giggle at his username and profile picture. Rather than email him again, Audrey sent him a friend request from her Discord; AudreySugarSpice#1734. Her profile picture was a pink teddy bear. Guess who~ - Pink bear? Hm, unless one of his sisters had secretly made a Discord account (”Not until you’re older”, as per Mum and Dad’s rules), theeeeen this had to be Audrey. Looking at the username, that definitely confirmed it. Friend request accepted~ Guess who, eh? Hmmm….the Queen of England? 🤣 - Feeling a bit bold, Audrey initiated an audio call with him, planning to greet him with, “How’d you know?” followed by giggles. - …Well, she did say that she wanted to try out audio calls, so why not? Picking up, he answered with a comically dramatic gasp. “Your majesty~! I am not worthy!”   - Audrey giggled more. “I’d have followed up by pretending to be a queen, but, I don’t know how one acts and I can’t do an English accent to save my life,” she laughed. “Anyway, how are you doing? Can you hear me alright?” - “Incredibly proper, supposedly.” he chuckled. “Doin’ alright! Can hear you juuust fine. How about on your end? Hearing me and how things are going, I mean.” - “Same here! Glad I caught ya at a good time… I did catch you at a good time, right? It should be evening over there. Oh, I hope I didn’t pull you away from anything…” - “Haha, naaah, you’re fine! Been with the family for most of the day, so I’ve secluded myself in my room for a bit of ‘me’ time. It’s all good.” - “So I guess your me time is us time now,” she chuckled. “You live with your parents still or are you just visiting? It’s fine either way!” she added in a hurry. “The only reason I have my own place is because of Spike. He’s a workout friend of mine who works in construction and knows a few people in real estate.” - “Guess so; not that I’m complaining.” he responded. “ I spend most of my time here during the summer holiday…and, well, regular holidays.. During school, I live a bit closer to the campus. Soooo…I guess you could say both? Once I get my degree, I’m moving into my own. Haven’t settled on a location yet, really. Depends on if I want to be adventurous or not.” - “Ahhh. I see,” she nodded to herself. “What are some locations you’re thinking of moving to? Just curious.” - “Back to France is always an option…but knowing my family, either they’d be coming here at least once every couple of weeks or vice versa. Aaaaand that back and forth travel can be kind of pricey. I could always head up to and stay in Blackpool- where my university is. Or just take a total leap of faith and try somewhere else. The few times we’ve been over to the U.S. have been kind of nice- maybe I could live there. Might consider multiple citizenship, who knows. Eleven months there, one month here…” - “That does sound pricey… Though I’m sure you know that, if you’re considering the United States, I have to recommend Michigan. I’m biased, yes, but I have at least visited other states, so I’m not blindly swearing allegiance or anything. Fun fact, Michigan is one of the leading fruit growers in the States~ Cherries, especially,” she chirped. - J.C. laughed, “That doesn’t sound like a bad idea; being surrounded by fruit. I also wouldn’t mind living somewhere that gets actual snow in the winter. I mean, sometimes we’ll spend the holidays up in Northern Scotland, but not having to travel to see and play in the snow would be nice.” - “Oh, snow is definitely something we get up here,” she laughed. “Multiple feet of it, in fact. You should see Daisy during the winter; it’s hilarious! You just toss her outside and fwump; she disappears into the snow!“ - “Pffff! You might just have to tie a balloon to her collar or something and just track her that way. Or do you think she would float away?” - “Ha! Enough balloons probably would make her fly away! She’s so tiny! Truthfully, we just look for where the snow is moving. It also helps that she wears little sweaters when it’s cold out. Mom’s tried putting booties on her, but she just kicks them off.” - “Awwwhawhawhaw~ I’d hope she’d have at least a little something to wear. If I’m not mistaken, Michigan and a lot of those northern states can get pretty cold…like ‘stuck inside for days’ or ‘wearing five layers of clothing just to get the shopping done’ cold.” He thought for a minute. “Of…course, that’s all from word of mouth as opposed to personal experience, but…” - “I can confirm that it can get that cold. Ever see A Christmas Story where the little brother has so many layers of clothing he can’t put his arms down? It’s kind of like that.” - J.C. laughed, picturing the scene. “Oh, mon dieu. If we’re ever visiting during that time of the year, remind me to keep Syd away from metal poles!” - “Oh goodness… Yeah, that’s really a thing that happens here. Why do so many people think that’s a myth? Have they never gotten their tongue stuck to a popsicle before?” - “Apparently not. But hey, doing stupid stuff’s a part of life,I suppose. Maybe gain some status or fame in your friend group or among your class/workmates.” Sounded as if he was speaking from experience. - “Why do you sound like you’re speaking from experience?” she teased. - There was a brief moment of silence. “…Beeeee….caaaaaause I mmmmmmaaaaaay have done a few things that…could be qualified as such.” he responded, chuckling sheepishly. “N-nothing major, though.” - “Ooooooo~” she said, trying to sound like a studio audience. “What’d you do?” - The sheepish laughter intensified. “Aaaah…hm. You know those really, really hot peppers that are on the market?  Short and skinny of it is ‘Guys Night In’ and a game of ‘Truth or Dare’. It wasn’t a…Reaper? I think that’s what one of those are called? Only reason I know that is because I probably would’ve ended up in hospital, haha. I think it was aaaa….habenaro? One was, the other’s called  ‘Naga Jolokia’. Ate the habenaro with little issue, didn’t even get a full two bites into the other one before I was gulping down water like no tomorrow.” - “Oh noooo,” she laughed. “Oh nooo-ho-ho! That’s- That’s a ghost pepper, isn’t it?! Ah-ha-ha-ha!” She broke into a laughing fit. - His laughter became less sheepish and a bit more joyful. “Eeeeeeeyup, it is. Of course, I didn’t know that at the time, but hey. I will say, it did go better than when we played that one game with the Jelly Beans. …What’s it called? ‘Bean-Boozled’?” - “Yeah, it’s Bean-Boozled. Basically Bertie-Bott’s Every Flavor Beans but Jelly Belly brand. Dare I ask what could have happened when playing Bean-Boozled?” - “Weeeeell, plus side, I wasn’t the one who ended up with their face in a wastebasket.” he snickered. “The last few times we’d played, I kept getting the really gross flavours, and there was this joke that I was cursed. With our most recent game, the ‘curse’, I suppose, had reversed and the person who got all the good flavours last time got all the bad ones. He was fine up until…ugh, dead fish.” - “Ew-hew-hew!” she laughed. “Though, technically, all fish we eat is dead. It’d be pretty messy if we ate them alive… and gross… Say, that reminds me, you like scary movies, right? I have a question about zombies.” - “I doooooo. What’s your question?” - “How fast does a zombie need to eat before its victim becomes a zombie too and they don’t want to eat it? Like, zombies don’t eat other zombies, right? If you’re killed by a zombie, you become a zombie, right? How does that work?” - J.C. blinked, initially unsure how to answer. “That’s….actually a really good question. I like to think that it depends on the initial method of zombification. If it’s done via a curse, you’ve got a bit more time, whereas if it’s because of a virus, that time shortens, since you’ve got all this zombie saliva coming into contact with your blood. Blood takes about one minute to circulate through your entire body, so…you’d probably have to go all ‘pie-eating contest’ speed if your zombification is viral.” He stopped and thought for a minute. “Granted, you get bit regardless of the initial turning mechanism and still come into contact with their saliva…maybe one method is more virulent and fast-acting than the other? Kind of like how it can take something like food poisoning to show up in as little as half an hour to as long as four weeks, depending on what’s responsible for causing it.” - There was a long pause before Audrey replied with, “Huh… I don’t know what to do with this information… I’d write a story or something, but I don’t have the creativity for that. Hm… Maybe I should mention this to Adelyn… She’s good with this sort of thing.” - “Nor am I.” he chuckled, “Ah, Adelyn, eh? Friend of yours or a relative?” - “Relative,” she informed. “She’s my youngest cousin. She’s on the autism spectrum and is, like, really smart and creative.” - “Ah! Maybe she can tell me if the logic on my answer to your question seems sound.” All of a sudden, he heard a small sneeze outside the door, along with a small ‘THUD!’ and a young-sounding ‘Dangit!”. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. “Hold on just a sec…” Getting up and walking towards his door, J.C. spoke to who he suspected was on the other side. “I know that’s you, petit singe. Are you eavesdropping?” “Noooooooo…a person can’t just chill against the wall in their own home?” “The wall that has their brother’s room on the other side?” “…All the other walls were taken?” - Though the voice was a bit faint, Audrey figured the little eavesdropper was Syd. “Tell her I said hi,” she called loudly, hoping J.C. could hear her from however far away from the computer he was. - “Can do!” he called back, before turning his voice back towards Syd. “Audrey says ‘hi’, by the way.” Syd gasped, “You’re talkin’ to her?!” She took a deep breath and shouted: “HI AAAAAAAUUUUDREEEEEEEY!!!” J.C., having been up against the door cringed and rubbed his ear a bit. Probably should have seen that coming… - “Oh wow, she’s got a set of lungs on her, huh?” she laughed. - “Tell me about it.” the older brother groaned slightly. “ ‘Kay! Soooo I’m gonna let yooooou twooooo get back to your conversation! Maybe we can do a chat later on; I don’t want to interrupt you two lovebirds~” the ten year old responded, laughing as she skipped away. Once she was gone, J.C. sat back down on his bed, rubbing his temple a bit. “Eheh…sorry about that. Siblings…” - “Never a dull moment, huh?” she chuckled. - “Never.” he laughed. - “Sooo… What were we talking about? … Oh, right; zombies. That reminds me; I punched a zombie once… Well, someone in a zombie costume… Did I tell you about that?” - “Pffffff! I don’t think you have…how’d that come about, anyway?” - “There was this haunted house a few years back. It was pretty intense, so children were required to have an adult with them. Well, these kids really wanted to go and every other adult they asked were either busy or flat out said no… So I wound up being that adult… Well, the haunted house did its job. I was on edge the whole time and, when one of the actors put his hand on my shoulder, I whirled around and punched out of reflex. I felt so bad! I kept apologizing and I even gave him a twenty dollar bill! I know they aren’t paid to be hit, but I had to do something!” - J.C. wheezed before collapsing into a fit of giggles. “Oooooh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho my lord!  That’s aw-haw-haw-haw-haw-haw-ful! Hilarious, as well, but still! But hey, at least you apologized.” - “The kids thought it was funny too,” she chuckled a bit. “Shame I got us kicked out.” - “Aw, that bites,”  the giggles started dying down a bit. “If it’s any consolation, I can be the designated adult if you and I are ever dragged to a place like that. I may let out a high pitch screech if I’m spooked, but I don’t think I’ll karate chop someone. At least, I haven’t yet…” - Audrey chuckled. “I’d appreciate that. I’m afraid my fight or flight response is just a fight response. Not a good scaring subject.” - J.C. snickered, “On the plus side, you at least know that. Better than running into a situation blindly and all confident, then end up running away.” - “As opposed to walking in scared and beating someone up? Not sure if I agree with that… If the person is innocent, anyway… I do wonder how I’d do, should I face a genuine threat… A non human threat, I mean. I know I can take humans.” - “Oh yeah, no; punching innocent people’s never a good idea. I’d imagine if you can pack that much of an unintentional punch on someone, intentionally punching can provide quite a…pack.” He chuckled sheepishly, “I was going somewhere with that. Sounded better in my head.” - Audrey snickered. “I think I get what you’re trying to say. I do imagine I’d do more damage from an intentional hit than I would a startled reflex.” - “D-D-D-D-D-Double comboooooo!” J.C. joked, mimicking a videogame announcer, “Nice hit!” - She laughed at that, having supervised enough sleepovers to recognize a video game reference when she heard one. “Which fighting game is that?” - “Aha, I’m not entirely sure if it is one? I was trying to go something ‘Mortal Kombat’ or ‘Punch-Out!!’-esque, but other than that…” - “Mortal Kombat’s the one with the ‘Finish him!’ line and the catchy theme song, right?” - “Indeed it is. I know there are a few newer versions out, but I prefer the older, less…aaah, gory ones.” - “You mean to tell me they get even gorier?! I saw some as a teenager and they were pretty dang gory.” - “I meeean….maybe more so in the way of being more realistic with the blood and guts and everything, but if you would qualify that as ‘gorier’, then yes.” - “Ahhh, I get it. I suppose that is gorier. It doesn’t matter how much red you add to a stick figure, I’m not really going to be affected by it.” - “To each their own. I suppose.” - “Hm? What do you mean? I thought we were agreeing,” she asked, confused. - “O-oh! I’m pretty sure we still are? I-I meant that in a…different context than what the original meaning of the phrase is? You’d said something about adding as much red as you can to a stick figure and it won’t affect you. I, ah, imagine it can be different for some? That…something like that would? “ J.C. chuckled sheepishly. “I was going somewhere with that, guess my train of thought got derailed…” - “…I think I was in the train when it got derailed because I have no idea where we are,” she laughed. - J.C. snickered before breaking into a short, impromptu song, “We’re goin’ off the rails with our trains of thooooooought…~!” - Audrey’s laughter increased with the song. “Oh my gosh! You are so silly!” - Her laughter had him laughing as well…aaaaand perhaps blushing just a bit. Good to see his dorkiness came in handy outside of cheering up a grumpy sibling or a bummed out friend. “I try, my dear, I try. Just how I am, I guess!” - She giggled softly at being called ‘dear,’ finding it both silly and charming. “Well, you succeed!” she chuckled. “What were we talking about? Fighting games? Something about fighting?” - “Something like that, yeah…come to think of it, how did we even get on that topic, anyway? What were we even talking about before that?” - “I have no idea. I don’t even really play video games. See, this is why I write things down; can’t remember a thing otherwise… Well, aside from the fact that Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin. That’s about all that stuck with me from school.” - “I wouldn’t call myself a gamer, really. Kind of in the ‘I know just enough to keep myself from getting my butt completely kicked whenever one of the munchkins wants me to do a Pokemon battle with them’ camp. Maybe the occasional party game like those dancing ones, but otherwise…” J.C. chuckled, “What about ‘Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally’ for maths, or ‘Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492?’. Granted, that’s probably going back a looooong time, but hey.” - “I can play a bit of those Mario Party games, but that’s about it. I mostly button mash everything else. It’s amazing how often I win doing that…” she trailed off. “I know those too! It’s just the cotton gin thing stuck with me, for some reason. When will I ever need that information? Elementary school Jeopardy?” - “Haha, Iiiii’d imagine so. I remember when I was still in primary school, we had this ‘Bring-Your-Parent-To-School Day’ thing, and we did have something like that at one point. Kids vs. the parents. Sort of like…what’s the name of that one show? ‘Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?’. Pretty sure that show wasn’t around when I was that young, so your description’s probably more accurate.” - “I suppose you have a point there. I guess I can use it in a competition with my future kids,” she laughed. “Assuming I one day marry and have them or adopt them or what have you.” - “Same, honestly. I like to think I’ve gotten enough practice with ‘Thing 1′ and ‘Thing 2′, and having a kid of my own would be nice. It’s….different from having siblings, you actually have something that you had a hand in creating, and it’s like a little you.” He paused. “I mean…they’re obviously they’re own person, but half of their DNA is yours.” Cue a small sigh, “I dunno, having a tiny person thinking you’re the coolest thing ever for a time is a nice feeling. Kind of want to experience it on a different level than ‘older sibling-younger sibling’.” Cue another pause, then a somewhat sheepish chuckle, “That…aaaah, I didn’t mean to dump all that on you at once. Had an idea and ran with it. I hope that made at least some sense.” - Audrey giggled, pleased with his ramble. She liked the way this man thought. “Oh, no worries. I like listening to people talk about things that make them happy, especially when it’s about kids. And I know what you mean. I can’t help but wonder what a biological child of mine might look like. What traits of mine might they inherit? That sort of thing.” - “Basically a game of ‘roll the genetic dice and see what happens’, I guess. Sometimes it can be a little scary if you’ve got some potentially harmful stuff in your history, but otherwise it’s kind of cool.” A thought occurred to J.C., evidenced by the sudden change in expression on his face. “…I wonder if anyone’s ever had a child that’s exactly half of one parent and half of the other. Like one side of their head has curly hair and the other side is straight? I guess that could happen with multiples, but I don’t know about a singular child…” - “I don’t think that’s possible,” she scratched her head as she thought. “I know eyes can be two different colors, but I don’t think you can have two types of hair on the same head… Not naturally, anyway. I mean, my hair is kind of in-between Mom’s waves and Dad’s curls… Probably closer to Dad in that respect. Can’t style it very well… It’s not both though.” - “Mm.” He nodded as he listened to Audrey’s thought process. “Guess it all depends on what exactly the DNA wants to do when, for lack of a better term, building someone from scratch happens. ‘You get your mom’s eyes, your dad’s hair, the dimples of some relative a few generations back…’. Genetics are weird.” - “Tell me about it. Dad has no freckles, Mom has a few, I have a ton. Apparently, there’s some hidden super freckle gene somewhere in my family.” - J.C. chuckled, “Guess so. I don’t know a whole lot about what ran in mine, other than brown hair from my mother and…” he paused, “I know there was something on my father’s side, though what it is is escaping me at the moment…” - Audrey figured he must be having difficulty remembering as it’s been so long since his biological family was alive. Deciding it better to change the subject before he delves too deep into such a topic, Audrey thought up a distraction. “Do you remember that thing in school where you draw a square consisting of four smaller squares to figure out possible gene combinations or whatever? I forget what it’s called…” - J.C. thought for a minute; that sounded really familiar… “The thing where you put, like…uppercase ‘B’ for brown eyes and lowercase ‘b’ for blue eyes? I believe it’s a Punnett Square?” - “Yeah! That’s it! You’d think figuring out the odds of certain traits would be more complicated than drawing a few squares, but, there it is.” - He chuckled, “I know, right? Apparently, you can use them in…I believe it’s algebra, as well, but it’s a little more complicated there. ‘Square this number, multiply these two’…” - “Oh, gosh; not algebra!” she yelped in faux terror before chuckling. The two went on talking for a good while after that, but ultimately had to end the call. Finding such a thing quite enjoyable, Audrey made sure to call J.C. again… and again… and again. They’d even gotten to the point where they did video calls. It practically became a routine, but there were still interesting moments to be had. “Check it out! I got a wireless headphone microphone thingy!” Audrey chirped excitedly, waving her hand around her head to show there were no wires. “Now I can still talk to you, even if I step away from the computer a little!” - J.C. let out a playful, dramatic gasp at the reveal. “Ah, fantastique! You’re not confined to having to be close to the computer like I am.” he joked, pulling at his headphone cord a bit, “I have one of those microphones that are built into the computer, but I’m definitely planning on upgrading to a more ‘external’ one soon…seven to ten business days to be exact, should the delivery go without a hitch. Merci, online shopping~” - “Tell me about it! Present shopping has never been so convenient~ Also,” Audrey clapped, summoning Lola to jump onto the couch with her. “No more nearly knocking down the computer whenever Lola wants attention!” - J.C. chuckled at the little pup, “Ah, bonjour, Lola!” “Did you say Lola!?” came a voice from outside his door. “Can I see ‘er? Please, please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaase?” The older brother playfully rolled his eyes, “Oh lord, sounds like I said the magic word. You don’t mind Kat popping in for a bit, do you?” - Audrey chuckled and shook her head. “Not at all~ Let me just turn the speakers on so Lola can hear her. You like the attention, don’t you, girl~?” she cooed as she pet her head. - J.C. gave the two a small smile before turning towards his door. “Entrez!” With a small creak, in came Kat, bounding towards her brother’s bed. Thankfully, he didn’t have to worry about as much damage being done once she flopped onto it, as Kat was a good deal smaller than Syd. No real worries about his laptop flying off of the bed and onto the floor or the screen getting kicked in. Once she was on the bed, Kat crawled towards the webcam and made herself comfortable, smiling widely and cooing at the dog. “Hiiiiya, Lola! Hiya, Audrey!” - “Hiya, Kat!” Audrey returned the greeting as Lola stood up and wagged her tail at the excited voice. “Who’s that?” she asked playfully, getting a bark from her dog. “Yes! It’s Kat! Such a good girl~” she gave Lola a generous petting - The eight year old giggled at the dog’s response. “Kinda bites that you guys are so far away, an’ that I can’t reach through the screen an’ give her some pets…but seeing you two’s okay enough! How’ve you been?” - “I’m giving her plenty of pets for you,” she giggled, petting the dog. “Work’s been a little overwhelming here and there, but Lola and your brother have been doing a good job of helping me wind down. What about you? School treating you okay?” - “Uh-huh!”, the little girl nodded,  “Right now we’re doing our sevens times tables in maths and we’re reading Sideways Stories from Wayside School. We’re supposed to be starting this really cool science experiment next week, but I dunno what exactly it is, ‘cos our teacher’s keeping it a secret.” “Maybe you’re doing the ‘butterfly life cycle observation’ thing.” J.C. commented, “I remember doing that a few times in primary school.” - “Oooo, that sounds fun~ Glad that you’re enjoying yourself. School takes up a lot of time, so, best enjoy it, if you can. Maybe you can give Syd some pointers on that.” Syd struck her as someone who didn’t enjoy school much. - “I meeeean, I dunno what exactly it is they do in Year 6, but I can try? She likes when they do more ‘science-y’ stuff and reading more action-packed stories, than having to learn history or maths….buuuut I can try!”   J.C. smirked at his sister’s confidence. “Well, you know the saying: ‘Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it’.” - “Well… there’s a lot of action in history?” she shrugged. “Though that’s rarely a good thing in real life… And you need to know math in order to properly do science. Lots of equations and all that.” - “Yeeeeah, true. But I guess you gotta explain stuff in a way that’ll make it sound interesting with ‘er. Not totally sure how you could make maths interesting.” The older brother snickered, “Maybe if the question’s something like…’If there are 96 pieces of chewing gum in a candy machine and there are 8 friends, how many pieces does each friend get?’. Something that she can kind of relate to. Or at the very least, reword the question, but keep the same numbers.” - “I’d imagine she’d say something along the lines of, ‘Depends on who has to figure it out. They’ll get more than the rest.’ Gotta be careful with how you word these things,” she wagged a finger. - J.C. laughed, “She would. Or ‘Why would they be sharing, that’s 96 whole pieces of gum right there!’.” “I do know she likes when her class gets to do creative assignments, too.” Kat piped up, “Like when they have a spelling list, but get to write a story that uses the words in it. Or when they make a scene from something or a model in a shoe box.” “…A diorama?” “Yeah, that! She tends to make a big mess when she’s making it, but the end product’s pretty good…and she has fun doin’ it too.” - “That’s good! See, you’ve gotta focus on the good with these things. Focus on the bad and you’ll make yourself miserable. I mean, there are difficult aspects to my job, but I try to focus on the fact I’m helping people get healthy and/or stay healthy. Just remind her something good will come soon enough, you know?” - Kat gave Audrey a salute, “Can do!” “It takes a bit of patience, too.” J.C. added, “I know she wants to do some of the experiments that I did in secondary school and uni, but…well, you need to learn to crawl before you can walk, and know how to walk before you can run.” “It’s hard, though, when you’re little.” Kat piped up. “Trust me, I know. And I’m pretty sure Audrey knows too; we were both your age once.” - “Exactly,” Audrey nodded. “I used to get frustrated with what I wasn’t allowed to do, but, looking back, I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t go baking a cake without learning to crack an egg first.” - “…Ssssoooo she can’t exactly go sledding down the stairs without knowing how to steer the sled first?” J.C. snickered, “I mean, in theory, yeah, but you shouldn’t be doing that anyway because you could get seriously hurt. And that’s regardless of how many pillows you’ve tied to yourself, how many you’ve put at the bottom of the stairs, and with wearing knee and elbow pads and a helmet.” - “Even if you somehow managed not to get hurt, I can’t imagine it would be much fun. I mean, it’d probably be a really bumpy ride. I’d much rather sled in the snow.” - “But then we’d have to go waaaaaaay up north if we wanted snow. It almost never comes this far south.” Kat pouted. “If you want some deep snow, yes, but I think if we a tad bit as opposed to- as you put it- ‘waaaaaaaay’, it’d be fine. Maybe even go a bit west, as well.” J.C. looked to Audrey, “How much snow would you say you get over by you?” - “How much snow?” Audrey proceeded to cackle for a good long time before holding up a finger, asking for a moment to compose herself. “Sorry,” she cleared her throat. “We just get so much snow! I mean it. A lot. A little snow for us would be two feet deep. There’s a reason we have snowplows over here.” - Kat gasped excitedly. “We gotta go to Michigan for sledding!!” J.C. sputtered, laughing a little, “So you’d be willing to take a half-a-day flight just to go sledding? Not one that’d be maybe an hour, hour and a half at most?” “Yeah! ‘Sides, you’d be able to go an’ see Audrey! Us too, obviously, but still!” - “Oh, come now, it wouldn’t just be sledding… There’s making snowmen too,” she giggled. “Not to mention the feeling of coming inside from the cold and warming up with some hot chocolate.” - “And snow angels and snowball fights!” the little girl bounced excitedly. - Audrey chuckled. “Now, now, don’t get too excited. We don’t even know if this winter visit will happen.” - “Can it, thooooough?” Kat asked, giving the two the “puppy dog pout/puppy dog eyes” combo. As much as the older brother would love that, doing so was dependent on a lot of factors.  “Iiiiiit’s a bit too early to say yes or no, sooooo…I guess we can chalk it up as a ‘we’ll see’?” - “It’s not up to me, kiddo,” she gave the child a shrug. “I’d certainly welcome you, but I can’t exactly fly you over here.” - “Awww…” “Hey, it’s not a ‘no’.” J.C. pointed out, trying to make the situation a bit more positive. - “There’s still plenty of time to figure it out,” Audrey offered. “I mean, school only started a few weeks ago over here. It’s still pretty warm out.” - “Yeah. You’re telling me you want to skip out on your birthday and Halloween and just go straight to winter?” J.C joked. Kat let out a small gasp and shook her head ‘no’. “Theeeeeeeeen you have to wait, kiddo.” - Audrey chuckled. "I’m looking forward to pumpkin spice season, myself.” - “I love fall.” J.C. sighed, thoroughly content. “Part of it being the pumpkin spice, part of it the cooler weather…” “Part of it being that you can toss me into leaf piles.” Kat added, grinning. The brother snorted, “That’s something that you love, goofball…buuuuut I do get a good laugh out of it. Next time we get a deep enough pile, you’re getting launched.” Kat responded with her arms joyously shooting upwards, and a happy “Yay!” - Audrey let out a small giggled, one of joy more than humor. She really liked seeing this man get along so well with children. This man was destined to be a father, she thought to herself as she smiled dreamily. - “Maybe if you and Syd team up, you can launch me.” he joked. Kat scoffed before laughing, “Yeeeeah, maybe not? Now, Audrey probably could! Either with us or by herself!” - The laughter snapped her out of her dreamy state and she laughed too. “I can’t guarantee a soft landing if I do.” - “He’s had worse!” Kat snickered, imagine Audrey doing just as she stated. J.C. smiled and rolled his eyes at the blonde and ruffled her hair a bit, “Alright, alriiiight…hey, did you finish your homework yet?” Kat shook her head no. “I was takin’ a break. Guess I should get back to it?” J.C. nodded, “Then when you’re done, we’ll go over it….maybe practice some of your multiplication flash cards?” “ ‘Kay….but you promised we would have a tea party after that and dinner, remember?” “Of course I do. You, me, and Mr. Bunnysworth are going over the details of the deed to your dollhouse.” The way he said it sounded so matter-of-fact. Kat giggled at her goofball brother before turning to Audrey and Lola, “Sounds like I gotta get goin’. I’ll talk you guys later!” - Audrey giggled again. These two were adorable! “Talk to you later,” she smiled and waved goodbye. Once Kat was gone, Audrey turned the sound back to her headphones. “Tea party, huh? Since you’re in England, do you have actual tea at those?” - J.C. smiled and blew a bit of air out of his nose, “Occasionally, yeah. Kind of a toss up between that or some juice. In the winter, she’ll use hot cocoa.” - Audrey chuckled. “That’s basically what we do over here. That or we just sip on air. It’s usually air, unless we’re using real cups. Those play tea cups are so tiny.” - “I know, right? You have to take teeeeeeny tiny sips if you want it to last the whole party. Like a little mouse or something.” - “Imagine if you were trying to actually hydrate with one of those,” she snickered. - “Oh jeez. If you drink out of them like a normal human being, it’s almost like doing shots.” He paused for a second. “…Oooor at least, how I imagine one would do them. Never done them myself. The occasional glass of wine on special occasions or on vacation, but otherwise…” - Audrey snorted. “I just imagined someone doing shots of tea, but instead of getting drunk, they just get more and more English!” - “Ha! I could start out sounding like this.…” He mimicked downing a few cups of tea before speaking again in a “fancier” accent: “…to something like this. And as the day goes on, it just….waters itself down.” - Audrey couldn’t help but cackle at the demonstration. Once she calmed down, she glanced at the clock and spoke again. “Oh goodness; is that the time? I need to let Lola out before she messes on the floor. Be right back!” She darted off camera to let Lola outside. While outside, her headphones were out of range of her computer, so neither of them could hear each other. With the silence, Audrey managed to forget she was wearing the headphones at all. Making her way back inside (and back in range of her computer), she sang softly to herself as she went about getting Lola a treat. - “Can’t be having that now! You two go do your thing, I’ll be over here.” As the two went off, J.C. took the time to readjust a few things with his computer, answer an e-mail, comment on a friend’s photo. His ears perked up a bit when he picked up the sound of Audrey’s voice again. Was she…? She was. He’d heard her sing once already (he had joined in, after all~), but regardless of that, she sounded lovely. Cue a bit of pink coloring his cheeks. - As she made her way back to the computer, she stopped singing and went about taking the headphones from around her neck and putting them back over her ears. “Sorry about that,” she sat back down with a smile, oblivious to the fact he’d heard her. - “Huh? Oh! Oh, it’s no big deal.” He chuckled sheepishly, “When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go.” Cue the blush getting a bit more noticeable. Seemed to be that she was unaware that he could hear her… - Audrey raised her brow at this and cocked her head slightly to the side. “You feeling alright?” - Ah, crud, he’d been caught. “You, ah….” he gestured to where her headset had been. “You had forgotten to take your headset off, and I caught a bit of you singing when you came back in. N-not that that’s a bad thing! I thought i-i-i-i-it sounded lovely…” - “Oh? Oh!” she brought her fingertips to her mouth for a moment, then brought them back down with an embarrassed smile. “Ah-ha… Oops… Thank you?” - “Eheh…heh…aaaah, no problem…” Well, this was awkward. - “What were we talking about?” she twirled some hair around her fingers as she tried to distract from what had just happened. - “Tea parties and fancy accents, I believe?” J.C. answered, going back to said “fancy” accent as a joke. - Audrey tittered and the two went back to talking. As time went by, the leaves turned color, the temperature got colder, and their online chats became more frequent. “Since Halloween is right around the corner, I have an idea I want to toss out there, if you’re interested.” - J.C., currently in a rather “spooky” sweater, looked up from his hot cocoa, curious. “Shoot. What’cha got rattlin’ around in that brain of yours?” - “You know how I don’t watch horror movies because I don’t want to hurt someone on accident or watch it alone? Well, I can’t really hurt anyone if they aren’t physically in the room with me,” she grinned a bit slyly. “Could be something a bit different, you know?” - “Oooo-hoo-hoo, I like~ So! How should we start out with this? Something super tame like….well, I mean Hotel Transylvania isn’t a horror movie, but it has monsters in it…or do we go for the big guns like The Grudge?” - “I was thinking an actual horror movie. My cousin Chloe got me a nice mountain of horror movie files to choose from. She may have been a bit over zealous though,” she chuckled. “I doubt I’ll ever watch them all. Anyway, I can send the files your way and we can watch it on that Let’s Gaze website we tested out before.” - J.C. laughed as well, “Fine by me! Anything in said mountain that’s catching your eye? I’m not super picky with what we watch.” - “Chloe did mention that some of them can have a bit of humor or ridiculousness to them. What were some of them? Child’s Play… Scream… The Cabin in the Woods… Any of those sound good?” - Taking a sip of his drink as Audrey listed off a few titles, he perked up at the last one. “Oooo, Cabin in the Woods, let’s go with that.” - “I take it you like that one?” she smiled as she went about sending him a link to download the file. - “It’s actually one I haven’t seen,” he clarified, “Child’s Play and Scream, I have seen, albeit a few years ago. Figured I’d start with something ‘new’ before going towards more familiar, y’know?” - “Sounds good. When do you think you’ll have time to sit and watch a whole movie with me?” - “Mmmmm, probably sometime a little later this week? Have a few ‘autumnal’ things that are going on with the family, so I might not be able to find some free time before then. I can keep you posted, though!” - “Is it apple picking?” Audrey asked enthusiastically. “Or throwing your sisters into leaf piles? Pumpkin picking?” - “All 3~” he smiled, “Maybe some preliminary costume searching as well.” - “Ooooooo~ Sounds like you’ve got some busy days ahead of you! My mom, dad, aunts, uncles, and cousins are all going apple picking with me next week! We’re all gonna get some fresh air, pick some apples, make some apple treats… that sort of thing~” - “Ooo, sounds fun! Maybe I can suggest that to Mum and Dad; apple-flavoured stuff- rather, stuff made from apples- sounds really good right now. Plus, it can give Syd a chance to put some of her energy towards climbing some trees.” - “I can send you some recipes, if you need any,” she offered. - “Ooo, that’d be lovely, actually. Spice things up a bit in terms of autumnal snacks, you know?” - Audrey’s eyes seemed to sparkle at the concept of sharing recipes. “Oh! Oh! I have lots of recipes! What do you think you might want; pies, crisps, cobblers, muffins, cakes, cider, applesauce, fritters, breads?!” - Dang, she really DID have a lot of recipes! And they all sounded really nummy~ “Man, you weren’t kidding!” he laughed, “Hm, where do I even start? Maybe we can start with fritters and muffins and go from there.” - “Good choice~ I’ll be sure to send those your way.” She reached for her notebook off camera and jotted down a reminder. “Maybe I could add a nice apple drink recipe in there. Gotta wash those treats down with something~” - “Oo, even better. Kind of like a little bonus treat.“ - Audrey giggled at that. “A treat for your treats~” - J.C. let out a giggle as well…with an unintentional snort. Upon realizing that he had done so, his face went a bit pink. He was still smiling, though, so that was a good sign. - She didn’t comment on the snort. She didn’t want to embarrass him, especially when she did the same thing. “It’s a shame you live so far away. It’d be fun to bake together, I bet!” - He stopped for a second, a thought occurring to him. If they could talk to each other while being in two different parts of the world, what was to stop them from baking? “Unless…we do the baking, but like how we’re doing now. Find some sort of set up to where we can place our computers or phones or whatever out of the ingredient ‘splash zone’, and check on each other’s progress along the way. Baking together, but not physically together, if that makes any sense.” - “We should totally do that,” she exclaimed. “I wonder what we should make. I’d suggest an apple dish, but I don’t go apple picking until next week. Heh. Maybe we should try something simple, just to test it out?” She put a finger to her mouth in thought. “Perhaps a no-bake pumpkin pie? Still autumn themed. Do you guys have boxes of instant pudding over in England? Maybe we should make something with more common ingredients. Hmm… Oh! Pumpkin bread!” - “Oh definitely; do a test run, see how that goes, and then go from there!” J.C. agreed. “Do we have instant pu…I actually might have to check the next time I go out for groceries. Pumpkin bread might be a better option to start with, at least. I know for a fact that we have the stuff to make it here.” - “I’ll have to Google this sort of thing later,” she mused aloud. “I know you guys don’t have graham crackers over there. I’m guessing you’d use shortbread crust for pies in place of graham cracker ones…” - “Usually, yeah, or we use digestive biscuits in place of them. They may have them in the ‘’American’‘ section of a grocery store, but it depends on the store.” - Audrey nodded. “It really is wild how similar, yet different, our foods can be. I’ll try to look through my recipes for ones that are more basic. Here in the states, we tend to use shortcuts that you may not have; like instant pudding.” - “Right? And it can mean something completely different too. The kind that you’re talking about is usually called ‘custard’. If you look up ‘Yorkshire pudding’, that’s usually what we mean. Haggis is technically considered one. …English is weird.” - “Haggis?!” she asked with a weird face. “You’re right. English is weird.” She scrunched her nose. “I’m not going to lie here; if I asked for chocolate pudding and got haggis, I would be very disappointed.” - J.C. laughed, “Same, honestly. I mean, the food itself actually isn’t all that bad; it’s just the way it’s made that makes it sound gross…and…maybe some of what’s in it. To each their own, I suppose.” He shrugged, “I’ve only had it a few times that I can remember; usually when we’ve gone to visit one of my aunts up in Scotland.” - “I’ve never had it myself, but I know it doesn’t taste like chocolate pudding. Hence why I would be disappointed. I’m generally down to try anything at least once.” She thought a moment. “Scotland, huh? Is it as pretty as the pictures?” - “Always a plus.” he smiled. “I’d say so, yeah. One of my favourite places that we sometimes stop over in is Edinburgh, it’s kind of got a fairy tale-esque feel to it. Where my aunt lives is a bit further south, over in Dumfries; more of a riverside kind of town. If you go north enough in the winter, you’re able to see the northern lights, apparently. Haven’t had a chance to myself, unfortunately. I mean, we’ve been pretty far north there that time of year, but never at a point where we can catch ‘em.” - “Oh, that sounds lovely,” she smiled. “Maybe you could ask your relatives to send you pictures, since you haven’t been able to catch them yourself. Oh! Another name for the northern lights is the aurora borealis, right? Sounds all scientific that way,” she chuckled. - He laughed, “Indeed it does. …Y’know, that actually sounds like a good idea. Knowing my luck, if you and I got together just for that, there’d be a wicked snowstorm that moves in on the night we’d be seeing them.” Of course, the alternative of being all snuggled up indoors by a fireplace with some hot cocoa with her wasn’t bad. - She cocked her head slightly, a bit curious, but kept her smile all the same. How exactly did he feel about her if one of his first thoughts about the northern lights would be seeing them with her? “Well, I’m sure we’d find other things to do. Maybe hot cocoa and a crackling fire? I love those~” Seemed she had a similar mindset. - “Maybe in some comfy pyjamas, under one of those weighted blankets.” he added, goofy grin starting to sprawl across his face“…Ooooor a lightweight but super fluffy one. Either or.” - “Oooo~ Both are good! Might depend on how warm the fire makes everything.” She chuckled. “Here we go; talking about a fictional snowstorm. Our conversations sure are something, aren’t they? I was supposed to remember something…” Audrey opened her notebook. “Oh, yeah! I’m supposed to get you some recipes and find one we can both cook together!” Looking off screen, she spotted Lola. “Looks like Lola wants O-U-T and I need to look for some recipes, so I’ll talk to you later, okay?” - “Right, right! That should be fun; here’s hoping that when we do do that, the internet says running smoothly the entire time. Nothing worse that trying to get an exact amount of something from someone, and the connection starts to glitch.” At the mention of Lola, J.C. blew a bit of air out of his nose, smiling. “Haha, silly pup. You go on ahead; I’ll catch up with you later!” -End-

[taltos-seidmadr]

I was tagged in a “Answer questions, tag people” thing by @apocalypticglitter so now I must oblige my civic duty! Thank you for tagging me!

Answer 17 questions (+1 because 18 is my favourite number) and tag 17 people (if you can)

Nickname: Sithi Sun sign: Sagittarius Height: I’m like... Three stacked cans of whoop ass. In a trench coat huge sweater. Hogwarts House: the valid one aka. Hufflepuff (Don’t @ me) Last thing I googled: BULL FROGS?! This is @mkingamess ‘s fault. I was curious how big they really are Favourite musicians: UHHHMM this is a super hard question for me to answer tbh cause my taste in music fluctuates daily. I will give a shoutout to some musicians/albums that I can think off the top of my head and imo don’t get enough recognition:

If you are into industrial metal/EDM type of shit, Hatari is really fucking lit. Some may know them from the Eurovision already. I just accidentally stumbled into them via the Discover Weekly on Spotify like half a year before the competition

The Magic Got Killed by Too Tangled - literally the two most attractive voices in the world, listening to this always makes me feel painfully bisexual

The self titled and only album of Fear and the Nervous System is is a curious experience. I have literally never heard anyone in my life sing with as much harrowing intensity and passion as this singer, to the point that I don’t even know if I would call it singing anymore... but it does work and fold into the instrumentals very well, creating a rather unique mood. Genuine “Let me wallow in my depression for an hour before I move on” kind of music. It might click with you, might not. But I do think it’s very underrated. 

Pagans in this corner of tumblr I think would enjoy the shit out of Faun, they got many good songs but my absolute fave is Egil’s Saga

Song stuck in my head: 

Probably best young scrolls track to date. Spits more fire than the Red Mountain, yo. 

Following: around 300 Followers: just passed 1k(?! That’s a lot?! Should I do like, a giveaway or something) 🤔 Amount of sleep: What a weird question... I slept about 7 hours last night. Lucky number(s): 3, 7, 8, 18 Dream job(s): illegal back-alley cyberpunk prosthetics designer/repairman (dont have the qualifications or the technology but one can dream) bog body that starry-eyed semi-feral singers write songs about (possibly attainable?) village cryptid (probably already achieved the status but unfortunately not getting paid for it) artist (I’m doing this one, so hooray!)  Wearing: I’m in my sleepwear already lol. It’s a pair of wide comfy black pants, and a big moss green shirt with a geometric pattern (there used to be gold and silver paint on it but that unfortunately faded out, now it’s just black).  Favourite songs: My answer is same as above really... Idk harrass me in my askbox maybe I will recommend you some songs.  Instruments played: I could play a little guitar at a time, but I’ve forgotten most of it.

Hey, this is only 15! I will add 3 more:

Something that I’m not good at but thoroughly enjoy: Videogames, hands down. My motoric skills and reaction times are less than desirable, lol. Nevertheless I’m a huge gamer and I just love to immerse myself in imaginary worlds. My favourite Halloween costume ever: I once recreated this dress from scratch with a fairly acceptable degree of accuracy My favourite myth of the god(s) I worship (if doesn’t apply, your favourite folk tale): I fear this is going to be an unoriginal answer, but seriously... could anything top Thrymskvidha?

Fun facts:

When I was born, I almost died.

In spite of my entire family being devout Christians, I remember believing in some form of reincarnation at such an early age that I had no business knowing what the word reincarnation even means. I was in fact very convinced at a time that I’m either one of my great-grandparents on my mother’s side, or from the generation before that. (Now that my religion is what it is, honestly I don’t really know if this is true or not. But I thought this back then for some reason.)

I’m left handed.

Before moving to Germany, I sang in choirs my entire life, some of which were fairly professional level, I guess? We would go to international competitions and stuff. 

I don’t know if this was a weird coincidence or the spirit world itself shifted reality around me to protect me, but I somehow never heard the Frozen theme song in its entirety. In my life. Not one time. Not even when it was on the radio non-stop. If I managed to catch it somewhere, it was always when it was just about to end. 

I used to want to be a professional animator, but when I grew up and researched about the profession more, it didn’t seem like it was worth the hassle. Regardless I’m still obsessed with animation, I watch cartoons all the time and I would like to teach myself how to animate even if just on an amateur level. 

I have no idea how to tie a shoe with only one bunny ear. I was taught the two bunny ears method and that’s all I’ve ever known.

Some things that I associate with Loki that have absolutely nothing to do with the lore or anything include snow, a very specific shade of blue, roses, cherry (but only the scent or flavor, not the fruit) and various forms of iridescence.

Like probably all kids who are into metal, I also dreamed of becoming a rockstar a little bit, but more interestingly, in my fantasy I was going to be blindfolded on stage and I thought that would be my schtick as a performer, for some reason. Of course the cloth would have to be sheer in order for me to be able to see just enough to orient myself on stage. It’s somehow both hilarious and bone-chilling to look back on now, that another and actually kind of obvious solution to the orientation issue never occurred to me on my own

The green shirt mentioned above is the only green piece of clothing I own.

I don’t believe in astrology. :/ (Sorry...?) 

When I was a kid, I entered a nationwide contest to write a faux folk tale and my tale made it to the semifinals. 

The only “what is your favourite” type of question I can give a straightforward answer to is what my favourite book is. It’s The Neverending Story by Michael Ende (who would have thought!)

I knew I was nonbinary my entire life, but I only learned that there is a word for it when I was 25.

Besides my native Hungarian, English, and a little German that I speak, I also learned Japanese and Norwegian (in highschool and during university, respectively) both for 3 years each, and I was on roughly B1 (low intermediate) level in them at my best. I don’t remember much of Japanese, and I only understand a little Norwegian when it’s in front of me to read, but once German is no longer the priority, I would like to relearn them at least a little bit. 

One of my completely useless talents is that if we talk to each other and I have a drink in my hand, I will somehow supernaturally detect it from your brainwaves when you are about to tell a funny joke and will attempt to drink just beforehand. This has happened so often that I can now suppress the instinctive urge to try to swallow the drink halfway wrong and choke on it. If you were planning to assassinate me this way, it would not work.

The reason why 18 is my favourite number is because my life seems to be entwined with it in a weird, almost supernatural way. For example an unnaturally large number of things that are important to me (including my birth) happened on the 18th of a month. 

Since there is no Halloween party I’m going to this year, I don’t have a specific costume but I will definitely take my make up kit regardless and go absolutely feral with it just to be in the Halloween spirit a little bit. 

Whew man... it was really tough to come up with 18. I’m more boring than i thought.

I tag:

@mkingamess @ragnarokfox @forest--walker @quietdedication @spellbookofthelostandfound @ast-heljar @cloudy-skyes @d-em-t @suilebhride @edderkopper

Anyone who wants to fill this out can consider themselves tagged as well. Tag my name in it too so I can read it. 

[buzzdixonwriter]

Hoo Noo Shmoo?

Never let it be said that this blog is flagging in its enthusiasm for flogging horses so dead they’re found in the glue bin at Office Max.

To whit, the Scorsese vs MCU brouhaha.

Bottom line: Scorsese is right.  As well made as MCU movies are, they ain’t cinema, they’re glorified commercials to sell MCU product.

Full disclosure: I should know, since I wrote for G.I. Joe, Transformers, and a host of other toy-based syndicated animation shows.  I’m happy with the work I did, I can point proudly to specific episodes I wrote that aspire to be more than mere half-hour commercials…

…but they ain’t art.

They ain’t art, despite our aspirations to do the best job we could, because ultimately we creators were not allowed to create what we felt best for our stories, but what Hasbro deemed vital to their sales.

(The closest we got to art was when Hasbro cancelled The Inhumanoids toy line in mid-production of the TV series, and said we could finish our broadcast commitment however we saw fit so long as it didn’t result in an FCC complaint.  As a result, we went nuts.)

My Hasbro / Sunbow experience remains a highpoint of my creative life, so I’m not denigrating the talent, skill, ability, spirit, and enthusiasm of those making MCU movies.

…but they ain’t art.

Now, those who love MCU movies think Scorsese’s comments are a slam against them.

Welllll…no, not directly.

But they do underscore how popularity -- especially of media designed to push product -- is a faulty measuring stick for artistic merit.

Case in point: The Shmoo.

Wuzza shmoo, you ask (and thus proving my point)?

Shmoos were extremely popular in the late 1940s.  Part of the wonderfully wacky world cartoonist Al Capp created for his hit Li’l Abner comic strip, shmoos represented a parable on American consumerism, modern day geese laying not mere golden eggs but birthday cakes with candles a’blazin’.

As Capp described them:

They reproduce asexually and are incredibly prolific, multiplying faster than rabbits. They require no sustenance other than air.

Shmoos are delicious to eat, and are eager to be eaten. If a human looks at one hungrily, it will happily immolate itself -- either by jumping into a frying pan, after which they taste like chicken, or into a broiling pan, after which they taste like steak. When roasted they taste like pork, and when baked they taste like catfish. Raw, they taste like oysters on the half-shell.

They also produce eggs (neatly packaged), milk (bottled, grade-A), and butter -- no churning required. Their pelts make perfect boot leather or house timbers, depending on how thick one slices them.

They have no bones, so there's absolutely no waste. Their eyes make the best suspender buttons, and their whiskers make perfect toothpicks. In short, they are simply the perfect ideal of a subsistence agricultural herd animal.

Naturally gentle, they require minimal care and are ideal playmates for young children. The frolicking of shmoos is so entertaining (such as their staged "shmoosical comedies") that people no longer feel the need to watch television or go to the movies.

Some of the more tasty varieties of shmoo are more difficult to catch, however. Usually shmoo hunters, now a sport in some parts of the country, use a paper bag, flashlight, and stick to capture their shmoos. At night the light stuns them, then they may be whacked in the head with the stick and put in the bag for frying up later on.

Of course, in the original strip continuity, the shmoos were quickly eradicated, driven to extinction by food packagers who feared bankruptcy.

It was a sharp, biting message, and one that looked critically at both insatiable consumerism and capitalism’s claims of superiority.

Capp, of course, was too savvy a marketeer himself to eliminate the shmoos entirely, and so he provided for one breeding pair to survive…and for the shmoos to make repeated appearances for the rest of Li’l Abner’s run.

Shmoo mania ran rampant with shmoo dolls, shmoo clocks, shmoo games, shmoo candy, shmoo snacks, and shmoo apparel.  

The money truck basically backed up to Capp’s front door and dumped its load on his porch.  Shmoos proved insanely popular and it seemed the mania would never end…

…except it did.

To mangle metaphors, you can only take so many trips to the same well before your audience starts asking “What?  Beans again?”

And then, in a fickle flash, it’s over.

I’d be hard pressed today to find anyone younger than the boomer cohort who ever heard of Al Capp or Li’l Abner unless their school or community theatre presented the Broadway musical adaptation of the strip (the show remains popular with amateur theatrical troupes such as high schools and colleges because the huge cast of Dogpatch citizens guarantees everybody who tries out for the show will land some part in it).

For all their popularity and merchandise and media impact -- songs on the radio, big spreads in weekly news magazines -- the shmoos left virtually no cultural footprint.

(Full disclosure yet again: I wrote for a Scooby-doo knock-off by Hanna-Barbera called The New Shmoo and it was a piece of crap, abandoning the whole consumerism point of the original shmoos and making them -- or just “it” in our case -- a pseudo-funny dog sidekick for a squad of mystery solving kids.  And it wasn’t a piece of crap because we didn’t try our best, it was a piece of crap because the shmoo was treated as ubiquitous “product” under the misconception that of course everybody younger than Joe Barbera would recognize the name and love the character so deeply that they’d simultaneously develop amnesia about what made the original character so appealing.)

Product.

That’s what one of the most brilliant, most poignant, most spot-on commentaries on rampant consumerism and ruthless capitalism ironically reduced down to.  Product.

There’s a line in Jurassic Park that resonates here:  ”Life will find a way.”

Let’s paraphrase that to “Art will find a way” because like life, art is an expression of the creative urge.

Right now, by and large, it’s trapped in the giant all encompassing condom of corporate consumerism, providing fun and pleasure and excitement, but not really creating anything new, to be wadded up and thrown away when the suits are done screwing us.

But every now and then there’s a tiny pinprick in the sheath, and when that happens there’s the chance of something wonderful, something meaningful, something of lasting value emerging.

It is possible for art to emerge from a corporate context, but only if the corporate intent is to produce a work of art for its own purposes.   Michelangelo carved David as a work for hire, the local doge commissioning the sculpture because he wanted to impress peers and peasants by donating the biggest statue ever made by the hottest artist of the era (and even then Michelangelo needed to resort to subterfuge to keep the doge from “improving” on his work with “suggestions” [read “commands”].)

The very first Rocky movie was a work of art because the producers focused on telling a simple, singular story about a loser who could only win by going the distance, not by defeating his opponent but by refusing to be beaten by him.

It’s a great cinematic moment that rings true and it’s going to last forever…unlike sequels Rocky II - V where Rocky fights supervillains like Mr. T and a robot (hey, that was the movie playing in my head when I watched Rocky IV and it was a helluva lot more entertaining than what I actually saw onscreen).

The suits castrated Rocky, reducing him from a unique universal cultural touchstone down to…well…product.

The MCU movies are product; rather, they are two-hour+ commercials to sell product in the form of videogames, action figures, T-shirts, and Underoos.

The real art occurred almost 60 years ago when Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko knocked out page after page as fast as they could, drawing deep from the wellsprings of their own interests, experiences, and passions.

(“What about Stan?” I hear you ask.  Look, we all love Stan, but truth be told his great contribution to the MCU came in his service as drum major for the Merry Marvel marching Society.  God bless him for firing up the fan base’s enthusiasm for the Marvel bullpen’s work, but compare what his artists did before and after their collaboration with him to what he did before and after his editorial tenure at Marvel and it’s clear upon whose shoulders the muses rested.)

As much fun as MCU movies are (I’ve seen about 1/3 of ‘em and enjoyed most of what I saw), I also recognize in them the harm they do.

They are promoted heavily to sell product to raise the fortunes of one of the biggest corporations on the planet, a corporation that holds control over five of the largest, most popular entertainment brands on the market.

To protect their cash cows, Disney chokes potential rivals in their cribs.

Think there’s going to be another Alien or Predator movie now that Disney owns them and Star Wars?  Why create rivals to a mega-successful property you already own?  (I will be genuinely surprised if we see another Guardians Of The Galaxy movie in light of the faltering popularity of Star Wars in Disney’s eyes; they’re going to want to shore up their billion dollar investment rather than call it a day and let some upstart -- even an upstart they own 100% -- rob them of revenue.)

Disney’s battle plan to choke out all potential rivals leaves no room in the DEU (Disney Expanded Universe) for independent minded creators.

They want competent hired pens who can churn out the product they desire in order to bolster sales of other products derived from those.

(Even more full disclosure:  I wrote for Chip ‘n’ Dale’s Rescue Rangers as well as some Aladdin and Scrooge McDuck comic book stories.)

Disney’s MCU, for all its expertly executed whiz-bang, is a bloated, soulless zombie, a giant gaudy inflated parade balloon blocking the vision of others.

There’s a scene in the movie The Founder -- a genuine cinematic work of art that comments ironically on the selling of a product --  that applies here.

Ray Kroc (Michael Keaton) relentlessly browbeats the McDonald brothers (Nick Offerman and John Carroll Lynch) into letting him replace their real milkshakes with what will come to be known as the McShake, an ersatz product that at best reminds one of what a real milkshake should taste like.

The McDonald Brothers are horrified.  Not only does it not taste like a real milkshake, but it goes against the very grain of what they desire as restauranteurs:  To provide quality food quickly for their customers, trading value for value.

Kroc will have none of this.  To him the customers are simply one more obstacle between him and their money.

He doesn’t see them as the source of his revenue, but as impediments to same.

What benefits them, what nurtures their diets, what gives them pleasure, what trades value for value is completely unimportant to him.

They exist only to make him rich and powerful.

By the end of the film, Kroc has effectively declared war on his own partners, his own employees, his own customers.  He recognizes he is not in the business his customers and employees and partners think he’s in (i.e., fast food) but rather in the real estate business, buying land that McDonald’s franchises must lease from him in order to operate.

By the end, he’s not concerned with how well his customers eat, or how well his employees are treated, or how financially secure his franchise managers feel.

By the end, all he wants is the money, and he doesn’t care how his franchises make it so long as they pass it along to him.

As a result, McDonald’s contributes heavily to America’s obesity and diabetes epidemics, advising their employees to take second jobs so they can afford to continue working for them at substandard wages.

Disney’s MCU is a super-sized Happy Meal™ that’s ruining the cultural health of its consumers.

   © Buzz Dixon

[threewaysdivided]

For the fanfic ask: D, S, and U ;) thanks!

For wornquillsandspilledink’s Fanfic Ask Game:

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with your fics?

Hmmm… I’m not a particularly music-based writer - a lot of my inspiration comes from other stories, or visuals, or personal experience.  Usually musical associations come afterwards, once I’ve got a scene/character fixed well enough for a song to resonate with them.  It also means that I tend to associate songs with fic-moments, characters or fandoms-in-general rather than with a single entire story.  So, a list:

As mentioned before, the opening Instrumental of the Disturbed Sound of Silence Cover is a good match to the ambience of YJ:DW Chapter 15.

Coldplay’s Paradise gives me angsty S1 Artemis vibes.

For Danny Fenton, Coldplay’s Gravity and Simple Plan’s Astronaut get the sad feels going.

Most Imagine Dragons songs tend to make me think YJS1 due their being used in a bunch of super talented fan-animations and AMVs.

More broadly the general emotional tone of ColdPlay’s Fix You and The Fray’s You Found Me kind of underscore sadder, heavier moments of writing.

There was a lot more Sad™ and Coldplay in there than I expected.  Whoops…

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

I’m one of those annoying Tropes-are-Tools-not-Guarantees types so there aren’t many tropes I can confess to seeking out for their own sake, or deliberately inserting into all of my stories.  That said, I tend to be pretty characterisation-focused (even though I like long-fics to have some kind of accompanying plot too), and there definitely some tropes/patterns I’ll gravitate towards:

Believable Depictions of Grief/ Trauma and Healing/ ClosureI enjoy finding stories that actually address the hard experiences or losses that characters have gone through, that the process is messy, and ways they might attempt to work through/ around it, while still letting them be themselves, have moments of levity, live their lives and eventually reach a point of closure.  Grief depicted like this is weepy, delicious, catharsis and I am here for it.

Trust and RevealsI can get a bit frustrated with stories (especially crossovers) that have characters just know or decide to immediately overshare secrets and personal information.  Always more satisfied when those secrets are treated as secret by the narrative, with characters having to sleuth it out or build genuine respect and trust before learning/earning the truth.

Intrigue and the Suspense of AnticipationLove me some Fair Mysteries.  Also when creators are willing to play games with the audience, letting us reach the answer ahead of the characters and wait in anticipation for the penny to drop.  Good stuff.

 Actual Communication and MisunderstandingsThere’s a certain sort of masochistic anticipation that comes from seeing two or more characters end up in conflict because their own personal biases and hang-ups are causing them to misrepresent and/or read  things into the other person’s words/behaviour that aren’t actually there.  Usually followed by either a fight or moment when someone says something that throws that misinterpreted reading off-balance and the whole truth ends up being brought to light and resolved.  I also like this because it lends itself well to grey-on-grey conflicts; no clear “good vs bad” but instead all sides somewhat sympathetic and somewhat at fault for poor communication.

Character studiesKind of self-explanatory: stories that focus in to put the microscope on a single character’s emotional reactions to, and reasoning behind, specific canon behaviours/ events make me happy.  The more believably close to canon-characterisation the happier this gremlin will be.

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much. 

Fair warning: I tend to read pretty widely, so this has the potential to balloon into a huge list. While I could definitely recommend some of the classic fandom bigs like BNHA’s PitViperofDoom and Laquearia, or DP’s Haiju (all of who deserve it and you should check out if you haven’t), I think I’ll take this chance to ping some writers from older/ wider fandoms:

tactfulGnostalgic’s Into the Spiderverse The Family Brooklyn Series.  Hits a lot of my personal trope favourites (character studies, reveals, believable depictions of grief, actual communication, accepting oneself) and also because oh my gosh that prose.  There’s an almost Markus Zusak-ian quality to their writing at points and the rest is just impeccable and fun.  Also packs some really good snappy dialogue.

skyflower51′s Skyrim storiesI really enjoy the environment design, side-quests and lore of Skyrim, and Skyflower51 does a great job of writing interesting characters to fill the blank-slate player-insert MC position, fleshing out in-game plot-lines and characters with much more nuance and detail by having a specific personality from within that world interact with and push them beyond what the limited RPG writing would allow, as well as exploring the possible identity/responsibility issues that come with being thrust into the role of legendary hero.  If you want a look at what Skyrim could be if written as a fantasy world instead of a videogame backdrop, these will probably scratch the itch.

Blackfriar’s Young Justice storiesOh hey, a fandom I actually write for.  Lovers of fluff will want to tread carefully here, as their stories are frequently rated M for angst and violence with good reason.  That said, if you like white-knuckled suspense, horror and anguish, or seeing Batman, Robin and Kid Flash being trialled by difficult situations both in and out of uniform, these will certainly get you your fix.  They also have some crossovers with Under the Red Hood which may satisfy those disappointed by YJ’s lack of Jason.

Also want to give a quick shout to Daruku Janubu/ DJAnubis, whose art for the TTxDP fic Turning Tables was what first got me into fanfic, and whose own story, Unfair Justice, made me cry.

Thanks for playing!