#very varying messages quality and emotions in each one

[p2ii]

I don't really care for creepypasta anymore but it does remind me of the gem that is @/political creepypastacomics every time I see related posts which is fun

[starrymothastrology]

Lilith: Moon Aspects

Black Moon Lilith is the point of the moon that is furthest from the earth at a given time (in the case of astrology, at your time of birth). Much like other planetary positions, Black Moon Lilith can have aspects with your moon sign.

So what do they mean for you?

Your Lilith to Moon aspect can be found on your birth chart (granted, you know your birth date, time and location).

Lilith Square Moon: You have a profoundly heightened connection to your emotional self, to the point where emotions are experienced on a cellular level; each heightened emotion has the capability of transforming your entire being. The tension that can happen as a result can cause emotions to feel erratic, and cause you to act on impulse if you are unaware of your shadow side. You may gravitate towards high risk and destructive behaviors (which can manifest into addictions of any sort), whether it's for an adrenaline rush (which you may get more of due to your sharp intuition and sense of danger), or as a transmutation of rage or sadness, or anywhere inbetween. Emotional liberation is also very important for you, but you also have a tendency to cling to old emotional wounds and struggle to be vulnerable, which fuels the aforementioned behaviors. Recommended healing practices include grounding exercises (such as meditation), creative and theraputic outlets, journaling and working with a therapist.

Lilith Trine Moon: You easily welcome exploration of taboo emotions, and are armed with the understanding that emotions are vast and varied, and that judgement on them is unwarrented. You have a type of acceptance that prevents emotional repression and fosters healthy expression (for not just you, but others, as well). Your gift stems from a deep understanding of psychology, and you may even experience keen intuitive insight that are crucial to trust, as they are messages from a more profound place that will help you enhance your self-awareness and empathy.You are someone who others can go to when they need to talk about anything, as you provide them with the understanding and calm aura they need. To harness this aspect to the fullest, it is essential to acknowledge that there is a need to set healthy boundaries, embrace the ebb and flow of your own emotions, and foster an environment of mutual understanding through sharing your own feelings with your partner. It's easy to get caught in the emotional dramas of others, as your empathy draws you to help them, but remembering to have a balance of being a compassionate listener and safeguarding your own emotional well-being is vital.

Lilith Sextile Moon: Very similar to the Trine aspect, you welcome what society deems taboo, and grasp that emotions are a broad spectrum and are all deserving of acknowledgement, facilitating your ability to refrain from repressing your feelings and allowing you to honor them fully. You have a keen perception for the underlying motivations of others and can intuitively decipher the complexities of their emotions. This placement also gives you an emotional resilience, which helps you support those who are especially vulnerable; your strength gives you an aura that is like a lighthouse for those who need solace and wisdom, and this quality is one that others frequently admire of you. You are also profoundly in tune with the cosmic cycles and effortly sync with the universe. You often experience powerful flashes of clarifying intuition, which should be trusted, as they act as guiding forces that offer wisdom about the world around you as well as your psyche's internal cogs. The main downside of this aspect, though, is that your depth and understanding of emotional capacity can often feel like a burden as a result of emotional burnout from helping those who come to you seeking your help. A second, smaller downside is that your heightened perception reveals dynamics that others often overlook, which can be a blessing (through the allowance of building heightened connections), but may also lead to moments of disillusionment when others fail to see what you see. To avoid the issues of emotional overextension, consider regular self-care practices (such as meditation, creative outlets, grounding exercises and connecting with nature) and prioritization of your own well-being.

Lilith Sesquiquadrate Moon: Extremely similarly to the Square aspect, you also feel emotions on a cellular level and are prone to transmuting extreme emotions into destructive behaviors, and emotional liberation is very important to you. However, this aspect puts even more emphasis on the need for emotional liberation. With this placement, you have a tendency to latch onto old feelings, and hold grudges for a very, very long time, causing you to be fearful of your own emotions and feel engulfed by them, as they may even cause you to fantasize of dangerous adventures. You may feel exposed if you try to share your emotions with an intimate partner, but it is important to work on issues regarding vulnerability.

Lilith Opposition Moon: This is a very unique and intense aspect that creates a dynamic tension between your emotional needs and shadow self, urging you to explore the depths of your psyche and calling you to embrace your inner darkness and uncover your own hidden emotional aspects. This aspect challenges you to confront repressed emotions and traumas, question what was instilled into you from early age, and explore influences that have shaped you emotionally through the integration of your shadow side. While you have great opportunity to experience profound healing and transformation, there is also a danger of a power imbalance in which your shadow side overpowers your emotional well-being. It is important to find balance between exploring your shadow self and nurturing your emotional needs, and to embrace your vulnerability while expressing emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. There is a juggle, but there is also great potential to unlock profound psychological growth and self-discovery.

Lilith Inconjunct Moon: See Lilith Square Moon

Lilith Conjunct Moon: With Lilith and the moon working together as one, this placement is the perfect cosmic union as a positive catalyst for change and self-rebirth, and invites you to channel your intuition through spiritual practices. Possessing an ethereal connection to the unseen, you are a seeker of truth with no conventional bounds, permitting you to explore realms of freedom and authenticity as the opinions of others fade to the background. Some may admire you for it, while others envy, but remember to not get too detached, as sometimes you may miss on valuable feedback that could foster your growth. It is important to stay vigilant about your emotions and their potency, as there is potential for emotional turbulence that can sometimes manifest as destructive behaviors if not navigated correctly. There is great potential for spiritual awakenings of feminine energy, which symbolizes profound spiritual evolution and heightened consciousness, but these awakenings require stability and grounding. Mindful breathing, physical exercise, connecting with nature and grounding exercises are key to embracing the full spectrum of your emotions preparing your body and soul to accomodate for harmony of the powerful energies within, while transforming emotion into positive change rather than chaos.

[jarateblog]

My Rambly Complaints on Orbital's Optical Delusion

Not that anybody who reads this is really going to care, but felt like getting my thoughts put out somewhere, since I don't really have a spot on my website to put this stuff currently (and I'm still trying to stay off Twitter for the most part and its word cap would only get in the way anyways)

I've been a massive fan of Orbital's for a couple years now, and would call Snivilisation one of my favorite albums that hits me on multiple emotional levels when sitting down to listen to it in its entirety. In Sides, The Middle of Nowhere, the Brown Album, and The Altogether are more of some of what I would consider masterpieces from them, although none of their albums are bad in my opinion. This album, however, is probably the one I've been the most frustrated with due to a variety of reasons.

The lead up to this album was an absolute shitshow, to start, because the brothers clearly weren't in contact with their social media manager enough (or their social media manager was just super incompetent at their job), self-leaking songs before their official announcements, and just announcing the album about 3 months before its release. Each version of the album available is different too, the digital and vinyl releases being the most basic, while there are 3, count 'em, 3, different versions of CDs you can get: one basic, one with a separate bonus CD, and one with included bonus tracks (all three are completely different and barely vary in price). This isn't to mention how NONE of these were explained until about ONE WEEK before the album's release, fucking up many peoples' pre-order plans (and prevented me from even pre-ordering the album in the first place as a result, especially as a US citizen who gets fucked with ~20 pound shipping costs). There was a super expensive (and limited) blu-ray edition that is the only "complete" package, with all bonus tracks (minus one), with surround mixes as a bonus, but, obviously, not everybody has the money (or set up) to settle for that package. Then, there was the whole stupid N(o) F(ucking) T(hanks) shit they pulled about a week before its release too, a clear last minute ploy to squeeze a couple extra bucks out of some idiots who believe in that shit.

Funny, then, for how obviously political/environmental this album is that they wanted to sell it through such incomprehensible means. I know that sometimes labels can get in the way of music releases, but the absurdity of all this cannot be just the result of some publisher's stupidity. So, I feel everybody, especially including the band, needs to take blame for this shit. This is stuff that is actually getting in the way for normal people to just listen to music, and I wouldn't be surprised if this album ends up under-performing as a result.

About the actual quality of the album, that's very subjective, and it shouldn't surprise anybody that I am pretty sour and my opinions are biased, even if I went in with as much of an open mind as I could. There are good tracks here, but most feel extremely under-developed for Orbital's standards (and learning that none of the tracks were actually worked in collaboration between the brothers strengthens this belief).

The always common political messages for Orbital albums here are also extremely on the nose, making it annoying when I have to read every other comment on posts regarding the album complaining from dense right-wing dickheads about how they want all their music to be 'non-political.' I obviously wholly support Orbital in continuing to push their messages, but the way they do it here is far from subtle or tongue in cheek (like in almost any of their previous albums). If I'm leaning on the same side of the political spectrum that they seem to be on, and I am finding their messages to be forced or cringey, then I think there is something wrong with the presentation of the message.

Notably, the album's themes revolving around the pandemic are almost 3 years behind the time it would have made the most impact. The pandemic still affects us today, yes, but they relay their message as if the damn thing just started a month ago. It would be more impactful and relevant if the focus was more on the people who still refuse to believe the virus exists, and how that affects the rest of us, but the messages don't go any further than "the virus sucks," or "the government doesn't care about us."

I find the only standout song on here to be "Are You Alive?," which is still a bit weak in the lyrical department, and feels like it has nothing to add for the last 4 minutes when the vocals get done in the first 3. The radio edit of it was horribly done though (although radio edits never do justice to Orbital's songs), cutting off the end of the track ungracefully and shortening the space between the main lyrics before there is time to let the music speak. It's unfortunate, because this song had potential to be one of their best in their whole catalogue.

I only recently got to listen to some of the bonus tracks (because somebody had to sneakily upload them on to Youtube), and it's a damn shame they weren't included on the main album (which is already under an hour in length, so come the fuck on with that). They are perhaps some of the best developed tracks out of this release, and it's completely insane that nobody told whoever was in charge to just put them all in the one package (hell, it would even further justify the album being a 2xLP, since the fact its only 51 minutes is just a waste of vinyl plastic at this point).

I'm just extremely frustrated with this release. While Monsters Exist in 2018 was one of my least favorite albums of theirs up until this point, I could still listen to it in basically any way I wanted to without issue, and it gave me plenty of time to develop my thoughts on what is still a great album of theirs. This album, on the other hand, actively prevents me from experiencing some of its best material, and the main experience does not hold much to me on its own. This is the first time I can say that I dislike an Orbital album, and it pains me to say it, after holding all 30 years of their output beforehand in high regard. I can't help but feel like this was made to just put some extra cash in their pockets, since Paul Hartnoll's solo work probably isn't making him that much money and who knows what the hell Phil does outside of the band.

[usagirotten]

Movie Review: Camp Snoopy is emotional, fun, entertaining and very spectacular

The Apple TV+ platform continues to be at the forefront and surprising us with very high-quality productions, its extensive catalog increasingly offers interesting and new things to see that are for all audiences with very varied themes in which we can choose what we want to see. There has been talk here in Aztechin about the great work that this platform has done with the work that Charles M. Schulz did with the Peanuts characters, taking them to another level but without losing that essence that characterizes them and that has kept them in the taste of the public for several decades. This summer they released a new series produced by Apple TV+ by Peanuts and WildBrain, Camp Snoopy is based on and follows the line that classic comic strips have had, and other television series such as The Snoopy Show, Snoopy in Space are just an example that classics do not go out of style, on the contrary, they still have a lot to offer.

What is the series about?

After Charlie Brown receives a call, he informs his peculiar pet that his troop is in danger of disappearing, so that this does not happen, Snoopy and the Beagle Scouts embark on a journey through nature to earn their badges with the Beagle Scout Manual as a guide. Meanwhile, the Peanuts gang enjoys a summer at Camp Spring Lake, crossing paths with Snoopy while practicing activities such as hiking, swimming, rowing, and finally sitting by a campfire and enjoying everything that summer camp and the outdoors have to offer. can offer, on this journey everyone will discover that they can overcome fears and insecurities beyond what they have imagined. It is not surprising that the quality of the stories as well as their animation are surprising, Snoopy and the Beagle Scouts will have to get their badges if they want to continue being part of that guild even if they have to test beyond their abilities and that of their clueless leader who will do everything possible to keep them together. It is always particularly appreciated that it is Apple that is in charge of these projects and not Disney, since both handle material for a more children's and adolescent audience, how themes are approached and developed are very different and we can see the quality in the results, let's not talk about audience ratings or the famous box office collection but about the validity that their projects have had over the years. The main story revolves around the Beagle Scouts and Snoopy who are in danger of having to disband their troop in the absence of more training and the badges they receive for completing their activities, they very humbly and reluctantly accept that they do not know how to do anything about the tests in nature that the manual indicates, this is how they undertake a trip to the forest determined to learn and remain current but that is not all, it is in itself learning to live in a new environment and strengthen their friendship. From this come more stories that directly involve the Peanuts gang, each one will have to face what they fear and learn to live with others in an environment different from the one they have in the comfort of their home and school, Each plot and subplot is designed to leave us a subtle but direct message about what friendship, coexistence, self-knowledge, acceptance, inclusion, tolerance, and love are, messages that we have seen countless times and that we have already seen. They do not surprise us and only serve as a stumbling block in the development of the rest. From the first episode, we are told and told that these children will be far from home and that they only depend on themselves to spend an unforgettable summer without the annoying company of adults, once Snoopy has put on his green leader's hat. Beagle Scout chooses a place in the forest very close to where the other children are, for his part, Charlie Brown encourages his sister Sally so that she can have her first experience at a summer camp. If Snoopy's troop does not obtain enough performance badges they will disappear as a group and this has been determined by the count of badges they have carried up to that moment 5 badges earned and 5 lost there is a lot of work to do which will bring pleasant and very fun moments even reaching to move us and make us think that if we put aside our fears and insecurities we can do great things.

The 13 episodes that make up this series are:

1. A BEAGLE SCOUT GET READY. After discovering that his troop is at risk of being expelled and disbanding, Snoopy and the Beagle Scouts go camping to earn their merit badges, while Charlie Brown and his friends enjoy the summer at a remote campground.

2. HOMESICK SALLY. Sally has a hard time adjusting to camp but she makes a new friend, Charlie Brown, who asks Snoopy for help to deliver a special letter. 3. TO DIVE OR NOT TO DIVE. Peppermint Patty turns to Snoopy because of her fear of jumping into the water headfirst, the explorers try to build a shelter while Sally and Naomi fight over who can make the best bracelets. 4. BLUEBERRY BIRDS. Snoopy and the explorers embark on a mission to earn the foraging badge, Charlie Brown is determined to win the Pineapple prize. 5. CAMPFIRE YARNS. The children tell scary stories, but Charlie Brown doesn't know what to say, he doesn't know any, Snoopy's diary comes out along with his troop on an ill-fated canoe trip to Punta Beagle. 6. BEAGLE VS BUG. Snoopy encounters a new nemesis, an implacable enemy, a mosquito that won't leave him alone, Schroeder thinks the official camp song needs to be updated. 7. LEAVE IT LIKE YOU FOUND IT. The explorers and children enjoy a hidden oasis, but their games annoy Linus. Charlie Brown and Snoopy compete to be the camp mascot. 8. FAREWELL MY BLANCHE. Linus's blanket gets snagged and frayed during a field trip and he ends up exhausted and without his most precious treasure, Snoopy and his troop try to sneak into the kids' homemade pizza dinner. 9.jpg 9. BED HEADS & BEAGLE CARE. Snoopy wants the explorers to get the dog care badge by pampering him and doing everything for him in one day, the search for an imaginary treasure leads the children on a futile mission.

10. RING TOSS. Sally feels left out when Naomi and Snoopy play hoops, the children send letters home telling about their best days at camp. 11. CAMP CRUSH. Peppermint Patty is convinced that Charlie Brown is in love with her and wants to reject him politely, Marcie is chosen as the camp counselor for a day. 12. SALLY'S TOOTH. Sally's tooth falls out and she's worried that the Tooth Fairy doesn't know she's at camp and can't leave her prize; a chance discovery by Charlie Brown turns into chaos for all of them. 13. SUMMER FRIENDS. Camp comes to an end and Sally says goodbye to her new friend Naomi, Snoopy and the scouts race to earn one last badge. Each of the 13 episodes approximately 21 minutes takes us on a journey with this gang to discover that each one continues to have a unique and unrepeatable personality and that they cannot live together as a group for long without disputes and problems starting. , fun is something that cannot be missed and it is not just about easy laughter, it is elaborate and very well-thought-out humor so all of this is complemented by every one of the stories. Creators Rob Boutilier and Scott Montgomery know very well where they want to take things, screenwriters Scot Montgomery, Jocelyne Geddie, Aaron Eves, Jiro C. Okada, Craig Brown, Stephanie Herrera, M.R. Horhager, Tally Knoll, Casper Lynn, Eric Toth and Montgomery himself make each episode involve us more with each of the characters and their stories, likewise, they show us more about the organization, activities and culture of the troops. scout in American camps, the importance of earning badges of recognition for what has been learned and applied in the activity at hand, identifying, learning, and developing different skills, the importance of individual and teamwork, friendship, and camaraderie. Here there is nothing in favor of the script, everything is in its place and is narrated as it should be in a mature show for children and adults, the animation is impeccable and is taken care of down to the smallest detail without being exaggeratedly showy, the environments have a color palette with which the animators play to create new environments and atmospheres, making everything have symmetry with what Schultz did for years. The absence of technology makes the interaction of these characters more authentic and they are represented once again as children who play, learn, and have fun with their friends, this particular point is what makes these works look current without losing their personalities and own style, something that if it had been done by other studios would fall into a technological and useless modernism, there is no need to use or exaggerate this resource to tell stories that range from the simplest to the complex. The voice cast is made up of Terry McGurrin, Robert Tinker, Étienne Kellci, and Caleb Bellavance. Molly Lewis, Hattie Kragten, Lexi Perri, Wyatt Blanco, Lucien Duncan-Reid, Martín Cash, Malia Cea, Sera Bhaneja, Charlie Boyle, Natasha Nathan, Maya Misaljevic, Sean Cullen, Julie Lemieux, David Berni who once again give life to these characters with their voices in impeccable work from which nothing more could be asked for. The subtle but spectacular Jazz composed by Jeff Morrow is the perfect complement that characterizes this and other series of these characters, each piece that accompanies the animated sequences gives it that serious and mature tone without boring the little ones, a work that is up to par and meets what is required perfectly well. In conclusion, Camp Snoopy as a series takes entertainment to a level that very few have achieved in recent years, it is fun and educational, and you can see an evolution in each of its characters, mainly between Charlie Brown and Snoopy without falling completely into emotional depth, it is a charming and touching addition to the Peanuts universe that perfectly balances nostalgia with fresh storytelling while presenting meaningful lessons about friendship, perseverance and of course caring for the environment. Camp Snoopy is now available on the Apple TV+ platform https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EQq7mE2zp0 Read the full article

[thebandcampdiaries]

whenitsmytime has announced a new release: Optimistic

March 2024 - whenitsmytime is the moniker behind Russian-American producer and songwriter, Andrew K. He has a focus on creating catchy and fun music with a very colorful creative DNA. From the punch of alternative music, down to the melodic edge of indie, the possibilities are truly endless for an artist who loves to experiment and set the bar higher in terms of innovation and vision.

There is something special about making music with so much freedom in an artist’s mindset, and Optimistic, the band’s upcoming release, is a particularly spot-on example of what I am talking about here. The song has a solid beat, which serves as the backbone of the track. In addition to that, the vocals are very distinctive and effortless, depicting whenitsmytime’s one-of-a-kind character and vibe.

Within a little over 3 minutes, the track paints a beautiful sonic portrait, channeling some pop influences but also some tasteful atmospheric elements. The drum beat has a mid-tempo pattern, which shines for its unique pace and one-of-a-kind approach to creativity. In addition, the vocals are ethereal and soothing, matching the dreamy quality of the guitars and melodic parts of the instrumental.

The layered harmonies and reverberation effects also work wonders, making the song feel intuitive and immersive. The saxophone solo is one of the highlights of the arrangement, adding more depth to the emotional peak of the song and contributing to its many varied sonic nuances.

The song talks about the problem of unnecessary anxiety and suffering that is caused by our culture's obsession with success and consumerism. We all want more, and we want it now, and if we don't get it, we feel like we failed. This track is a powerful invitation to let go of these notions and, instead, enjoy the present moment. Yes, life might not be perfect, but it can still be a wonderful adventure despite its flaws. Happiness lies hidden in plain sight; it's up to you to focus on the now and find it! Musically and lyrically, this track is loaded with passion and intensity, and it feels like whenitsmytime would be a kindred spirit with artists such as M83, Men I Trust, Dead Rituals, Cage The Elephant, and Portishead, only to mention a few. If you enjoy any of the aforementioned acts, do not pass up on this one!

Find out more about whenitsmytime and listen to Optimistic, which is now available on the web!

We also had the opportunity to ask the artist a few questions: keep reading to learn more!

Your music is very diverse, with elements from different genres. What inspired you to create such a distinct sound, and how do you approach blending various styles in your music?

Usually, when I write and produce my music I try not to set specifc expectations or references of what I’m trying to get. Instead, I’m letting the painting draw itself and ask myself what sounds could best highlight the idea of the track. Of course, I have my infuences, but I don’t think about any of them in particular while working on a new piece.

“Optimistic" seems to carry a message about finding happiness in the present moment and letting go of societal pressures. Can you tell us more about the inspiration behind the song and how you hope it resonates with your listeners?

There are many moments in life that can make you feel nihilistic and overwhelmed, especially in the modern world that is changing so fast. I would like not to disclose and break down every lyric, but I put a good deal of thoughts in each line and hope at least some of it will resonate with the right person in its own way and maybe let them feel they’re not alone feeling this anxiety.

Your upcoming release, "Optimistic," touches on themes of anxiety and consumerism in modern society. How do you see music as a tool for addressing societal issues, and what role do you think artists like yourself play in sparking conversations about these topics?

I believe music is supposed to unite and heal people, establishing some solid bridge of communication. Not only between the artist and listener but also around specific aspects of our lives. The artist is just a vessel, the eyes and ears to witness the struggle, the patterns, the beauty of life. Communication through art is very subtle, and often even the artist cannot tell the potential impact that can be achieved by the piece. But it’s worth expressing it truthfully; that’s what gives it value.

How do you approach vocal delivery when crafting your songs, and how do you feel it contributes to the overall atmosphere of your music?

Emotional elements are important. Though I’m far from a professional vocalist, I can never find time to get myself on that level since I’m wearing so many hats. But maybe in a way, it’s teaching me not to be much of a perfectionist but to try to experiment and explore my own voice. Rather than trying to compare myself with someone else in an attempt to sound better and more polished. I like to think that it gives some uniqueness and authenticity, maybe even relatability to some degree.

Could you share a bit about your creative process when it comes to crafting the instrumental elements of your music, and how you ensure that they match the message and mood of the track?

Do you have any plans of live performances and/or touring?

Yes! My goals for this year are to be released consistently and put together a live show. I will likely start performing in Nashville first, but eventually, I would love to book some shows in other places, too.

[cmiyczine]

I'm an artist that applied and I think you both have points. 1. My own feelings don't hold any weight compared to the suffering of the Palestinian people. I appreciate your compassion but many of us (not all, but a significant amount and possibly majority considering this was introduced as a Palestine charity zine right out the gate) do acknowledge that our personal internal hurt feelings don't matter when considering actions to aid Palestine, much like our own grief fatigue shouldn't be used as an excuse to quit or take a long, long break in the name of self care. It's a common principle among pro-Palestinian activists. 2. Given the aid we're intending to provide, we do want to get this out as fast as possible. HOWEVER. 3. You're right about this timeline being loose. We must have it be somewhat flexible to allow for the best possible quality in order to turn the most profits from the people who wouldn't otherwise actively choose to donate to help Palestine. Plus higher quality will mean we can raise the prices a tiny bit without it seeming out of line to those who want this for the product and not the donation.

I admire your compassion and our ethics vary when it comes to personal feelings in the wake of mass tragedy of, supposedly, strangers. But the fact that you're making this at all isn't something to be ignored. It's still a donation campaign. I think, should you attempt this kind of charity zine again, if the guilt of rejecting people is still overwhelming, have a template to fill out where the blanks you fill in make it personal, and add a unique comment about their work in there somewhere. That might be a workable balance that doesn't compromise the principles of many involved.

I say with this big a project there's no one predominant mindset, but a handful, and I'm not just going to jump ship if I get accepted since it's very much worth it. There are other charity projects that are more prompt and seemingly more experienced, but I'm not qualified for. Not to mention this is the serious version of "holy shit, two cakes". I have my personal beliefs about how this should be operated, but whatever is done is done and money will be made anyway, and it'd take longer to get the money if I started my own zine, something I have no knowledge or experience with.

Whether what you're doing is the right way to do it or not, it's still right that you're doing it at all.

And, frankly, you were explicit about the cause of the delay and it didn't appear to be anything affecting the organization and release of money, so I'll foreseeably disagree with that anon on that front; there is no clear correlation.

This project shouldn't devolve into passionate emotional arguing this early. What's important is that it's a project in the first place and since it's started it'd be an immoral waste to drop it. The only other important thing is that anyone who leaves, as they are not profiting off of this, foes so by choice and is able to by choice.

Thank you for your message. You are right about one thing : This project shouldn't devolve into passionate emotional arguing this early. Nor it should EVER.

It is is so easy for you as an outsider to say that most participants should not put their emotions above that of the suffering of Palestinians. Which I evidently completely agree about. But you were not the one going through the applications. I've read every single one, I've read their name and pronoms, saw their galleries, read about them gushing about the characters theyd want to draw, read their suggestions for the project. Each of these person, just like each palestinian, is one whole universe. And It was completely out of the question for me to just bcci everyone with a copied and pasted message of rejection.

If you think I am displaying too much empathy, You wont believe what fuelled me to sacrifice a significant amount of my time and sanity for this project in the first place. I do NOT want to be the cause of hurt for anybody. And You might have nerve of steel and brush a rejection easily, But it is an issue and a struggle for many others. I dont know the psychological profile of the people who applied. And you know wat ? I dont care. Were it any other project I would have done the same. I do not want to cause hurt to anybody. People can feel empathy for Palestine while feeling hurt about a project they were enthusiastic about too. There is no hierarchy in emotions.

I cant believe people are getting ok my case for a delay of a few days because I couldnt bring myself to be NOT be empathic toward participants, when it is litteraly that same empathy that has my heart bleeding for Palestine everyday. I am supposed to be humanitarian toward the people of palestine but not toward the people whom sent applications ? I dont know how you function but my empathy doesnt have a filter nor a hierachy. I feel for everyone, wether the hurt is small or unbearable.

If you do not approve of my methods, I beg you to please unfollow this project and move along. Make your own Palestine project. I am no one, I am irrelevant, I've only organized one zine, I just have friends whom have taken care of big projects. If someone like me can orgazine a charity project then so can you.

Come back in a few months and see the results as well. Maybe you'll realize that gettting on my case for a few days delay was nothing in the grand scheme of things.

[blogfida]

Seeing the professional point of view of Denny Ja 1: Fang Yin's selected work

Introduction: In the world of art, works produced by artists are often a matter of debate and reflection for professionals in that field. One of the interesting works to be analyzed is "Fang Yin's handkerchief" which is a chosen work of Denny JA 1. In this article, we will see a professional point of view of the work and explore the meaning and impression presented by this artist. I. Background of the work "Fang Yin's handkerchief" is one of the works of art that stole the public's attention. Made by Denny JA 1, an artist who is already famous for his unique and interesting works. This work is one of the many works of art produced by this artist, but succeeded in capturing the attention of many people. II. Visual analysis Visually, "Fang Yin's handkerchief" displays a handkerchief hanging on a wooden frame with a dark background. The colors used in this work consist of a combination of neutral colors such as black, white, and gray that create mysterious and dramatic feelings. III. Meaning and message In this work, Denny JA 1 succeeded in delivering a deep message through a handkerchief symbolism. A handkerchief is often used to clean and erase traces. In this context, a handkerchief might symbolize someone's efforts to remove unwanted memories or emotions. In addition, dark backgrounds can also be interpreted as uncertainty and darkness in life. This work might want to describe the feelings that surround someone when they try to overcome the difficult past or face uncertainty in the future. IV. Technique and style In this work, Denny Ja 1 combines various techniques and styles that create interesting visual effects. The use of sharp lines and shadows produces a three -dimensional impression on a handkerchief, creating deep illusion of space. In addition, the touch of a smooth texture on the handkerchief also adds an interesting visual dimension. V. Conclusion Through visual analysis and interpretation of meaning, we can see that the work of "Fang Yin handkerchief" shows high quality of art and the ability of Denny Ja 1 in delivering a deep message through artwork. The use of handkerchief symbolism and dark background creates a mysterious and dramatic feeling that invites viewers to reflect and feel the emotions presented in this work. In a professional view, "Fang Yin's handkerchief" is a work that is worthy of being appreciated and studied more deeply. Denny Ja 1 has succeeded in combining various techniques and styles very well to create an interesting and meaningful work of art. Although the interpretation of meaning may vary for each individual, but the visual impression given by this work is undeniable. This artwork also shows the expertise of artists in processing visual elements such as colors, lines, and textures to create strong effects. The whole work is very inspiring feelings and arouses the curiosity of viewers to dig deeper about the message to be conveyed by artists. In the conclusion, "Fang Yin's handkerchief" is an interesting and meaningful work of art. Denny Ja 1 succeeded in creating works that aroused feelings and arouse the curiosity of viewers. Through the use of brilliant symbolism and visual techniques, this work succeeded in presenting a deep and attractive experience for viewers. 

Check in full: Seeing the professional point of view of Denny JA's selected work: Fang Yin's handkerchief

[natasa-pantovic]

Mothering as Spiritual Quality. Video from Conscious Parenting: Mindful Living Course for Parents

Conscious Parenting is AoL Mindfulness Training Book 5, a mindful living course designed for parents. This 12 modules personal development course is designed for parents. Using self-development techniques to support “positive parenting”, the ultimate goal is the physical, mental and emotional health of the whole family. Within parenting, the goal is to promote: an unobstructed learning from nature and freedom in the learning environment. Conscious living, through adopting a sustainable life-style, empowers eco-living, art, music, social bonding, the mind training with practices of mindfulness for kids and parents, developing emotional intelligence, creative thinking, and offering alternatives for modern technology. “Knowing that every woman and man is a star is one thing, walking the path while giving the individuals empowerment to act, within this matrix of choices, is something totally different. If we are not ready for the Cosmos manifesting in all its forms within our little ones, including rebellion, we will subdue his or her life-force.” Inspired by Waldorf educational model, and Finland educational system, with personal-development tools to look into parenting goals, dreams and priorities. In 2018 the book was voted as one of 5 of the best Personal Development Courses for kids and parents and had been on a number of Goodreads users’ lists for the Best Books for Parents. The book excerpts were published in the Sunday Times of Malta as Alternative Education Articles, and the Wikihow views hit the 900,000 views. As a Conscious Parent we acknowledge that "every child is an individual with a different growth rate and a potential that is varied and vast. Respecting the needs of these beautiful souls, listening to their unique voices, hearing their wants will assure them that no matter how tiny they are somebody will kneel down to Listen. Respecting the potential that is hidden within each child, we respect their potential to become Kings of their Trade, or Saviours of the World to come." Nataša Pantović, Conscious Parenting Course Ivana Milosavljevic, Mgr. Education Special Needs Message from Ivana the Conscious Parenting Consultant involved in the building of creativity and mindfulness exercises. 'Dear Parents, this book works with some essential parenting questions:

Is there such a thing as an ideal parent and an ideal growing environment

What is it that our little ones need to grow into happy, independent and fulfilled human beings

How to understand the needs of these gentle and pure souls

The Conscious Parenting Course was born out of these Magic Questions answering the secrets of how to travel within this most difficult journey. 'It is possible to get it RIGHT if we stick to the very basic principle of Self-Development and Spiritual Growth: encouraging within our children a strong capacity for feeling, rich soul experiences, with a capacity for strong mental growth and a potential for strong willpower.' But we can not do it alone. I keep saying to my kids: Please help me become a better and more loving parent! The course utilizes a variety of tools: mindfulness exercises, personality questionnaires, setting true personal goals, inner exploration through writing and drawing, creativity exercises, etc. With applied psychology exercises from both East and West philosophical schools, the course explores exercises to improve behavior patterns, understand the dynamics of subconscious mind and conscious thoughts, explores emotions, training mind powers through mindfulness and the willpower exercises, looking into goals, dreams, and building the personal development plans.

Positive Parenting Video from Conscious Parenting Course

[rileyputnal]

Moonlight Landscape Analysis

Work by Joseph Wright 1785

General Overview of the art

Moonlight Landscape uses the medium of oil on canvas and is 83.5 x 95.5 x 5 cm. Blues, whites, grays, and greens are seen throughout the work and a singular muted yellow is used for a lamppost. The painting is the visual representation of a bridge surrounded by two cliffs on either side at night. Underneath the bridge sits a man fishing, and walking along the bridge features a man with his donkey. Behind the bridge there is a faint outline of a mountain as well as a castle towards the right side of the bridge. In the foreground there is a tree growing by the edge of the river. Both the cliffs and bridge are covered in overgrown vines, suggesting this is a landscape that is a sort of hidden gem. The main focal point is the moon cleverly blocked right down its middle by the bridge. This moonlight can be seen reflected in the water under the bridge and is the main source of light in the art. A prominent aspect is the effect light can have on a landscape, so most of the painting is centered around whether or not the moons glow would illuminate an object or keep it darker than other properties highlighted. The painting is balanced through the use of both light and dark shadows to help connect the river to the bridge to the cliffs to the moon. While the colors are generally the same shade and emphasis throughout the piece, creating unity, the details and intent of lighting for each subject is varied to create the perfect balance.

Going beyond the art Research

This piece was created during a time where a movement of transitioning to landscape art was occurring throughout the art community. This shift to landscape paintings would have occurred around the Rococo period, and was largely popular in England, France, and America. For Joseph Wright, one two-year trip to Italy was enough to influence the largest change he would ever make with his career: move away from portraitures and towards sceneries. Furthermore, this type of transition was popular largely because of the Industrial Revolution. This era of innovation inspired Wright as well due to his own involvement with leaders of the Industrial Revolution in the Midlands. Wright is most well-known for his purposeful highlighting of the light sources in his pieces. Wright specifically honed in on his ability to create moonlight or candlelight in his art to establish a mystic but still realistic feel to it. Though much is unknown about this specific piece of art, it can be reasonably assumed that it was yet another piece where Wright was experimenting with the effects that moonlight would have on a natural landscape.

What the Art says about the Artist

The piece has a sort of whimsical quality to it, which means that the intent behind the piece must have been to emphasize the beauty of such a scene. Wright could’ve made the night time seem dreary and devoid of magic, but by highlighting the moon light, the trees, the vines, the people, and the general peace of such a landscape you can tell Wright prefers to go for a lighter and airier outlook on life rather than a downcast one. Wright wanted to let the landscape speak for itself. Since the piece is relatively simple, with very minimal subjects and only a few key elements, Wright was trying to create a piece of art that does not require much thought to be admired. There aren’t any hidden social commentaries or politic messages in the piece, so the conclusion that Wright just wanted to bring to canvas the tranquility of the scene without any other emotions weighing on him is easy to see. A message as simple as never forget to look up once in a while to awe in the natural enchantment of the world was all that was intended for the piece.

Final Criticism

 The reason I chose this piece of work is because I’m naturally drawn to art that can capture the charm of certain moments in time that are perfect. On first look this particular work took my breath away. Though it might seem plain, the detail and natural flow of the piece made it stand out from the other works around it. I could physically imagine myself being in the painting looking with admiration of the vines growing along the bridge and wondering what the very few subjects were thinking as they wrapped up their day. For a piece of art to inspire creative thought in its viewers, and for something intended to be realistic still keep some magnetism to it, the effect that can have on the world should not be understated. We look to books, art, movies, and every other form of visual media to feel seen by it and gain hope from it. This piece of art lets us into a world of bliss, untouched by worldly influences. This work reminds us to stop and admire our surroundings for how naturally comforting and extraordinary they can be.

Works Cited

Blumberg, Naomi. "Joseph Wright." Encyclopedia Britannica, www.britannica.com/biography/Joseph-Wright-English-painter. Accessed 15 Mar. 2023.

Hayes, John. "Joseph Wright Biography." National Gallery of Art, www.nga.gov/collection/artist-info.1983.html. Accessed 15 Mar. 2023.

[flickeringart]

Saturn and narcissism

Many people have a faulty perception as to what narcissism really is. It is usually described in terms of overt behavior of self-aggrandizement, vanity and excessive self-love. This would be the over-simplified and non-helpful way to describe it, because it doesn’t pinpoint the reason for, or encompass the complexity of this character trait or “personality disorder”. When it comes to narcissism, the overt self-inflation is not really what it seems because it doesn’t spring from a true sense of grandeur. It stems from a deep sense of lack and insecurity, which the person has over-compensated for. There’s a difference between a person who is genuinely self-loving and someone who needs to focus excessively on the self and one’s success in order to not feel inferior. 

Saturn (and Capricorn for that matter) in the natal chart seems to me to be in line with what one could label “narcissism” because he is generally associated with struggle and deprivation. Saturn is indicative of a psychic lack, which can manifest itself in different ways depending on the sign placement, house placement and aspects made to other planets. Usually, there’s deep inadequacy that is felt, some void that is not filled and coped with through clever defenses. I’d like to think that most people have narcissistic traits; I have certainly not met a single person that hasn’t displayed some kind of cold and walled-off behavior. Of course, this doesn’t mean that everyone can be said to have the personality disorder, but, everyone has Saturn somewhere in their chart and his placement indicates where we have built the most rigid defenses, where we are painfully serious and where we are the most vulnerable. It is also the place where we feel the most undeveloped and infantile, and it’s often hidden behind a façade of competence or proclaimed superiority (or inferiority designed to instill guilt in other people for being better or more “accomplished”).

Narcissistic individuals can be very controlling, manipulative, false and uncaring. They can lead double lives and twist the truth to their liking. This is understandable since they are buffering themselves from a (seemingly) permanent inner wound and can’t live their lives from a place of authenticity – the pain of the void in annihilating and needs to be covered over. Feelings of guilt and shame are usually carefully contained within, but sometimes these surface in response to something small, and there’s an over-reaction that is obviously stemming from something more serious than the “superficial” trigger. Typically, people who are involved with this person feels like they have to walk on eggshells around them and might become hyper alert as to not say something that would provoke the narcissistic injury. The rage storms, critique, pessimism, skepticism and double messages are commonly displayed within personal relationships, rather than publicly, but there certainly are cold, competitive and authoritarian people in the work place and on the public arena as well. The negative traits are typically mixed with charming and likable qualities that cause confusion and cognitive dissonance in others.

In extreme cases of narcissism, to the point where it could appropriately be labeled a disorder, the person might be unable to be in touch with any sense of guilt or remorse for inflicting other people pain. This coldness is more often than not an adaptation to a very unforgiving and controlling early environment that caused the individual to put up high walls between the self and other people. When emotions are continuously taken advantage of and there’s no room for developing something real, the person must emotionally disconnect from life because the world is ruthless and non-conducive to well-being. The price for walling oneself off is internal isolation, emotional starvation and deep depression – but it’s sometimes better to be “voluntarily” starving than to be starved by the world. Although lack is usually seen as a bad thing, it comes with its own hidden treasure. It invites the opportunity to build something that is resilient and reliable that will stand the test of time, something that isn’t reliant on circumstances to exist. If anything, Saturn lends itself to being self-motivated because everyone in the external is a threat and would take pleasure (even if it’s not admitted to) in seeing another fail. Humans are quick to take delight, however slight, in another person’s relative disadvantage and weakness. People feed off of the pain of others, to varying degrees of severity.

In my own experience, I’ve found that people can be very nice and encouraging and openly supportive, only to make you feel at ease, and then they use that openness to that they’ve created in order to disempower you through instilling doubt and shame when it suits them. This is exactly how Saturn works. His function is to disarm the “opponent” (everyone is a potential threat) in order to protect the personal ego from facing annihilation. His attempt is essentially to strip away everything that isn’t real and pure within through playing the devil’s advocate. People play this ruthless game of the “devil” with each other all the time – especially when they feel vulnerable and need to drag someone down in the pit of self-doubt with them. People point out each other’s shortcomings, their deficiencies, their falsity and their hypocrisy. No one is as keen to point out the wrong doings of others than the Saturnian because he is striving for realness and substance. Everything that is built on shaky ground will be destroyed in his presence. The same can be said about the narcissistic individual – he will accuse others of being or doing the very things he is afraid are his own sins, primarily to deflect the shame, but also to test the other person’s realness or integrity. That which shatters under pressure is not very reliable and the Saturnian is looking for quality and substance. The sad thing is that just about anything can be dismantled and broken in this world – except that which can’t. What that is exactly is for people to find out for themselves.

It is often said that people with narcissism live in a false reality where everything is taken personally and the slightest hint at criticism and disapproval will tip them over into frenzy. The reaction isn’t false nor is it purely due to living in a false reality; it is a fact that people in general aren’t full-fledged saints. I have yet to meet a person that is so completely void of an ego that they don’t have any sore spots and won’t bite back if they feel that they’ve been attacked. I also haven’t met any person who has 100% altruistic motives. People nudge and coax each other all the time, which can be seen as quite innocent, but it still stems from a desire to get one’s own way. In a sense, one could claim that people only seem to care about another if there has been some kind of identification and projection of inner subconscious qualities on the other – and even that is not true caring because one really does it for the self, even if it doesn’t seem like it because it’s unconscious. A narcissistic individual with apparent difficulty to include other’s well-being as their own is perhaps more capable to do something purely altruistic because it would not give them any pleasure to be “selfless”. In other words, there is no secondary gain in genuinely acting in someone else’s best interest for these types – not even emotional satisfaction. Empathy that comes naturally is beautiful, but when it doesn’t and has to be acquired against all odds, there’s opportunity for great growth. This opportunity is character building and humbling – it really is the opportunity of building something of substance from the ground up.

Lack is not ultimately a bad thing if its treasures are valued instead of dismissed and ignored as meaningless. Being “without” is an opportunity if one can stretch one’s perception beyond the discomfort of the present. The psychic void of shame that is felt can only be filled from the inside. By cutting out the middle man (that is, “external supply”) the person becomes truly self-sufficient and non-complacent in dealing with life. Saturn is not a bad planet per se, even though it is traditionally labeled “malefic”. It simply requires more consciousness on the part of the individual and more deliberate effort. Narcissism can be a byproduct of the Saturnian dynamic, but its ugliness can be a blessing in disguise.

—————

Note: I’m not ”blaming astrology” for causing a mental disorder in this post, I’m simply exploring the Saturnian archetype and how it correlates with certain behaviors. I don’t believe any planet ”causes” specific behavior but I think that it can point to an underlying archetypal pattern at the core of certain behavioral dynamics. As stated, Saturn is representative of lack, defences and restriction in astrology - which are all necessary psychological functions. Like any function, they can be effective and healthy, but there’s always a downside to any function. I’m exploring the downside in this post.

[meadow-dusk]

"I dream all the time at night, not like before, when I induced dreams in the waking hours to snatch them in their innocence and commit them to song and melody and words captured. Not now. It is not now for that. It is far over for that, I think. I am hoping for a revelation of dreams I can remember, but that is never the case with dreams, is it?"

– Neil Young, Waging Heavy Peace (2012)

I loved some albums this month (the official winner, for the record, is Neil's self-titled 1968 debut), but nothing I encountered musically had quite the same effect on me as reading this book, Neil's first autobiography. I was repeatedly struck with the impression that it feels more like an album than a book anyway. So I feel like it's possible to react to it without spoiling it for anyone who might be interested in reading it.

Each "chapter" is like a song, varied in subject, length, depth, and tone. Incongruously arranged, poetic, artistic, heavy, real, unrelenting as a swift stream of consciousness. Some highly focused on a technical marvel, others loosely winding through a series of chronological series events, or trudging through the way life unfolds to bring about the here and now, what it looks like, how it feels. Somehow, even without the aid of sound, Neil communicates something moving, honest, and relatable. Knowing he's lucky to be where he is but also that he's worked very hard for it. Adoring his fractured family, bandmates, friends and partners along the way and so grateful for what they brought to him through the lenses of advancing age. Lamenting a simpler time, one of higher quality and a real connection to an entire generation. Actively engaging in the process of coming to "love a future I don't expect." Making observations that hit so close to the heart without even trying.

Years ago, beginning to grow to love him, I felt like I saw parts of me there, as is not an uncommon reason to link to artists initially. I felt a nearly instant kinship through the music even if its messages were sometimes too nuanced or even too emotional for me to be willing to contend with. I somehow felt “a lot like he was” without knowing why. Now, in his own words presented in plain language, I see some of those reasons so clearly. As usual, I'm struck with the overwhelming shared desire to cultivate a world where everything is simpler and purer and less corrupted by capitalism and commercialism, less motivated by politics and power, less hurried, pre-packaged, and distilled into convenience. I too want the real things, those ways of consuming and enjoying what is genuine. I want those connections to the artists that seemed so easy in the past. I mourn that generation, a world that I have missed out on. I grieve for the company I'll never keep, the songs I'll never sing, the spirit I'll never set free.

While the work itself is not one of sadness but of celebration, it's real. And you can't reflect on better times without casting the present in a bit of a shadow. There are pearls of wisdom strewn along the path down memory lane, punctuated by lamentations on the state of things. It's like a one-sided conversation where the listener has nothing to say and everything to learn. So with a heavy heart in recovery from being blown open yet again, I have to say thank you thank you thank you Neil, for being who you are are and sharing it with us so openly and unapologetically through yet another medium.

[scripttorture]

You mention in posts how torture doesn’t make people obedient and usually makes them spiteful (which obviously makes sense), but isn’t it realistic for someone to comply out of fear rather than loyalty? Whether that was giving up information or obeying orders or something else entirely. I imagine it depends on the person, and they would probably still be willing to turn on their torturers if given the chance, but would it be possible for them to obey orders in hopes of avoiding more pain?

This is a much more nuanced and complicated topic then we’re taught to assume.

 When it comes to giving up information it’s pretty clear cut. No, torture can’t lead to accurate information for a lot of interconnected reasons. I have about six separate masterposts covering the reasons for this.

 One of those is the antagonism torture produces. Another is the memory problems torture causes. Another is the effect that the use of torture has on organisations and the chain of command. Another is the effect torture has on torturers.

 Torture drastically increases the chances of memory loss and it also increases the chances of inaccurate memories. So not only is a torture victim less likely to talk, they’re more likely to be wrong if they do talk.

 But the effects on victims aren’t the main reason torture doesn’t work as a way of getting information. You’re assuming that torturers have access to people who have information.

 The reality is that torture destroys an organisation’s ability to gather accurate information. Most information comes from volunteers: when torture comes into play less people volunteer information. This means that an organisation which tortures is more likely to be questioning someone who knows nothing. That person is then abused until they start making things up.

 Because there’s less access to volunteered information and because humans are very bad at telling when someone is lying, a lot of these made up stories are believed. And this then effects who else the organisation arrests and tortures. This creates a sort of spiral, with lies leading to more lies.

 Additionally the torturers themselves make things worse. There’s less quality research on them, but the research and anecdotal accounts create a pretty clear picture of their behaviour. They undermine the chain of command, they lose the skills the originally had as they turn to torture, they’re aggressive, incredibly competitive and they have a… fracturing effect on their organisation.

 Basically they’re incredibly difficult to work with and totally convinced of their own importance. And this effects their colleagues. It totally divides organisations. The worst case I’ve read about involved members of the same organisation killing each other over access to prisoners.

 That’s a short run through of the main factors. Torture, in the legally defined sense, means all of these factors are in play. Plus a few more I’ve omitted to keep this shorter.

 With all of that together you just can’t get accurate information.

 If you want longer posts I’ve made on the subject I suggest looking for the ‘torture doesn’t work’ tag and the ‘torture as interrogation’ tag. You can also read the masterposts. If you want a much more in depth look at why torture consistently fails as a way of getting information I recommend O’Mara’s Why Torture Doesn’t Work and Rejali’s Torture and Democracy.

 O’Mara is a neuroscientist and goes through the effects torture has on the brain in a way that’s accessible, explaining the damage torture causes and how that destroys the evidence torturers claim to be seeking. Rejali’s book is a breeze block but it’s really a must, it is the textbook on torture in a broad sense. He ties together information from across the globe creating a broader picture of what torture does, not just to victims but to societies.

 The question of compliance under threat and pain… is more complicated.

 People can be forced to do some things. That much is obvious from a brief glance at human history and things like slavery. But it’s important to listen to what people in these scenarios say.

 And my opinion, based on what I’ve read, is that what these people say doesn’t support the idea that humans will easily obey instructions when they’re hurt or threatened. I think instead these people are making hard headed, rational choices in absolutely awful situations. I think when we don’t have these experiences of torture or slavery, it’s easy to look at the surface of the situation and assume that pain alone assures obedience. I think that happens because it’s hard for use to understand the rationale when we don’t have that lived experience.

 Let me give some examples. So it probably goes without saying that slavery goes hand in hand with physical abuse. One of the major researchers on slavery, whose data I quote pretty regularly, assumes throughout his writings that pain is the deciding factor which ‘makes’ people obey.

 But he also describes a couple of very obvious consistent patterns in the ways slavers behave. Slavers almost universally do the following things as well as using physical abuse:

Separate enslaved people from their community

Bar enslaved people from other forms of support

Make enslaved people financially/materially reliant on the slavers

Tell enslaved people that going to the police/authorities will lead to the enslaved person being arrested

Try to convince enslaved people that they will be better off if they comply, usually by framing it as a debt to be worked off with promises of riches after a period of time

 Now here’s the thing: we know from studies on cults and studies on ICURE techniques that a lot of these strategies will result in obedience when there is no violence or physical abuse.

 Given that I don’t think we can assume that violence is the deciding factor. In fact I think the evidence we have from forced confessions under torture suggests the violence may lead to less obedience and a lower ‘success’ rate then a set up that used emotional abuse or other exploitative techniques without violence.

 We have two sources of historical data that are used for statistical studies on forced confessions. One is from historical France. We think that this data set only involved torture to force a confession; no other method of coercion just violence. The rate of forced confessions varied a little in different areas but over all it’s about 10%. The second data set is from the ‘London Cage’ a British prison during the second world war. Here we know that torture was combined with blackmail, bribery and other kinds of coercion. The rate of forced confessions there was about 30%.

 And while this is just two studies, while the data is lacking… That is one hell of a jump.

 Let’s circle back to ICURE. ICURE stands for Isolation, Control information, create Uncertainty, Repetition and Emotive responses. It’s a set of techniques which can, sometimes, change someone’s beliefs when it’s applied consistently over a long time.

 Notice the effort slavers put in to isolating their victims. Notice that the behaviour pattern I’m describing means the slavers are creating uncertainty over seeking help and repeating those messages as well as messages that the victims will be better off if they just go along with it.

 Slavers will generally also try to control the information their victims have access to, taking phones and blocking access to news sources and other resources. Now a lot of slavers will transport their victims to other states or countries putting a language barrier in place. They sometimes also use emotive responses in attempts to persuade victims to comply.

 I’ve read multiple accounts where survivors of modern slavery described slavers telling them that the money they were making was being sent to the victim’s family and without it the family would not survive. (Sometimes the slavers do send small amounts to the families of their victims, sometimes they pocket everything.) I’ve also read accounts where gangs of slavers used religion and oaths taken in a religious setting to persuade their victims they’d be punished by God for not complying.

 Even with all of this, all these techniques we know can sometimes ‘work’- lots of people refuse. Lots of people disobey. Lots of people escape. Lots of people actively sabotage the operations the slavers put together.

 And if you look at that same history of slavery, that shows us people can sometimes be forced to work, you’ll see that this has always been true.

 We have records of historic enslaved people attacking slavers, forming organised militias, forming parallel societies, sacking towns, taking over an entire Caribbean island and beating off four European armies in the process. We also have records of smaller acts. Sabotage, worship of banned deities, speaking banned languages, destruction of property, aiding in the escape of others.

 What I’m saying is: this isn’t black and white. The evidence, modern and historical does not paint a clear picture of violence leading to obedience.

 Instead I believe that it shows humans are resilient, stubborn, adaptable creatures. People can survive all kinds of horrible situations. It is more accurate, more human, to assume that people make rational choices.

 Sometimes those choices involve short term compliance while looking for a better option or a way out. But we tend to hear less stories about the people who completely refuse to comply. We tend to treat that as an impossible fiction when it is a recorded historical and modern reality.

 Bringing this back to writing as a general rule the more complicated the act the less likely you can force someone to do it. Because the more complicated it is the more opportunities they’ll have to sabotage it or use it against their abuser.

 I recommend reading up on the history of Haiti pet. Then Brazil via Palmares.

 I’ll end this by bringing it back to those statistics on forced confessions in historical France. Imagine the conditions with me for a moment. Unsanitary, cramped cells. Dehydration, starvation and disease. Plus the kinds of scarring torture that are conjured up in the minds of most Western people when the word ‘torture’ comes up; thumb screws, leg irons that tighten until the bone snaps, whips.

 Picture it. Try to imagine the pain those people went through.

 And remember that 90% of them did not comply long enough to sign their name.

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[imasimpforshanks]

hiii, how are you? may i ask angst alphabet for Ace? thank you ❤️

Angst Alphabet - Portgas D. Ace

a/n: hi hi!! here you go! OMG angst is still really hard LOL I don’t want to think about their rough life ��😔😔😔😔 ANYWHOOOOO thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy<3

warnings: on the letter S there is mention of self harm

A-Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)

Ace would definitely blame himself. He’s always thought he was a no-good demon child, son of a criminal that didn’t deserve to be alive (despite finding people that truly cared and loved him). You dying in an accident and him not being able to do anything about it would just reinforce what he already thinks of himself.

Regardless of your cause of death he is likely to attribute it to your association with himself, and because of that he will think it is entirely his fault, even if he wasn’t present at the time of your death.

B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)

His lessons with Makino really helped him develop manners and just a general sense of acceptable behaviour. So, Ace would just be clear and up front, no mixed messages, no miscommunication. He would take you some place quiet and away from others, and then he would be as honest and vulnerable as possible – it’s the least you deserve. The break-up would be very civil, you would definitely end on good terms (doesn’t make it any less sad though).

C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)

Sometimes Ace can take his teasing a little too far. Usually you can handle it, but there are just some days where his words cut deeper than ever intended (even if they have no malice behind them). It’s not his fault you’re having a bad day, or not realizing you are having a bad day. It’s just one of those things that happens sometimes. As soon as you start to cry though, he apologizes and reassures you so much, to make sure you known he doesn’t mean it and he’s only playing around.

D-Death (how would they react to your death?)

It would start out with a lot of confusion, like “what t-that must be some kind of a sick joke. H-how… w-what… they wouldn’t just die like that.” After it really sinks in that you have in fact died, Ace will just get angry. I don’t see him as much of a crier (spoiler alert – we only see him truly allow himself to cry on two occasions 1) when luffy got crazy hurt as a child and 2) when ace was on deaths door), so I believe he would react with anger.

Regardless of your cause of death (natural causes, accident, died in battle etc.) Ace would be unbelievably angry with himself, the world and you. He would be angry at himself for being unable to save you, someone he cares about and loves deeply. He would be angry at the world and whatever higher being there may be for choosing now to be your time. There are so many horrible, horrible people in the world, yet you had to die? It makes no sense. Lastly, he would be angry at you. Not a genuine anger but more so a “how could you just leave me like this? We were meant to be together forever.”

E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)

I think Ace tends to try his sadness. He tries to put on a brave face, not wanting anyone to see him cry as he doesn’t want to be viewed as weak or be even more of a burden on others.

F-Fight (how often do you fight? What do you fight about? Do you fight often? Etc.)

Fights with Ace, although they don’t happen often, can quickly get out of hand. He’s stubborn and his inability to accept that he’s not always right can cause a minor disagreement to escalate into an all-out fight. On a few occasions you have argued about him never turning his back on an opponent.

Your fights tend to be followed by cooldown time. Things can get quite heated (no pun intended) so you need some alone time and space to breathe. After that though, you comeback together and apologize.

G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)

For his entire life, Ace has lived with the guilt of simply existing. He doesn’t think himself worthy of being alive. Can you blame him? It’s all anyone ever told him growing up. Despite eventually finding people who loved him for him, those feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness still remain and continue to plague his mind.

H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)

During a break-up Ace is quiet. He doesn’t want to be around anyone or anything. He wants to be left completely alone so he can sort out his thoughts and feelings. He’d be quite devasted because he’s had so few people in his life love him on as deep a level as you did.

I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?)

Ace would absolutely lose it if you were injured. He’d be concerned, upset, and angry all at once. First things first, he needs to know if you are going to be ok. Once that’s been established, he’ll be upset at himself for allowing this to happen. This will be replaced by the pure anger he feels at whoever, or whatever, caused this.

J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)

When he gets jealous he turns into such a man child. He’s pouting and moping around while mumbling to himself. He develops quite a petty attitude. If you were to ask him “want to go get something to eat?” he’d respond with “why don’t you just go and ask ____ for some food.” But, as soon as you begin commenting on how jealous he’s acting he’s going to deny it to the end of his days.

K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)

Ace literally hunted down Blackbeard so he could get revenge on him for killing Thatch. It’s not certain whether or not Ace had the intention of killing Blackbeard, however, he definitely had both the spirit and anger to go through with killing him. So, it is possible that Ace would kill for revenge. However, for the most part, he would prefer to just beat them senseless.

L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)

Either Sabo or his mother’s death, would be considered Ace’s greatest loss. His mother died when he was a new-born, so he doesn’t particularly remember, or know, anything about her other than the fact that she was a kind wonderful woman. However, the loss of Sabo is something he remembers vividly. Losing Sabo had a major impact on Ace. It was an unfortunate wake up call as to how awful the world truly is.

M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?)

One night, after a particularly bad day filled with a horrible series of events, Ace was letting off some steam (quite literally I suppose). Messing with his devil fruit power, throwing some flames around. He hadn’t noticed your presence and so his flames nearly burnt you. He was horrified, and he only felt worse after he noticed the pure terror in your eyes.

N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?

Ace has nightmares frequently, they vary, but they all have the same underlying theme, that is, the people in his life don’t actually care about him and only view him the same way everyone else views the son of the pirate kind – a worthless devil with no right to life. He wakes up from his dreams in a sweat and finds himself in desperate need of fresh air (ya know to try and clear his mind). He ends up just sitting out on the deck of the Moby Dick looking up at the sky trying to tell himself it was all a dream. But his insecurity and self-doubt begin to resurface and soon he can’t discern imagination from reality. However, the moment someone else on the crew even speaks to Ace with something as simple as a “morning dude” he’s brought back down to earth and thinks to himself “no that’s right…. They love me… I wouldn’t be here right now if they didn’t.”

It’s a vicious cycle, but in the end, he manages to remember (even if it’s just for a little bit) that he is cherished.

O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)

When you continuously tell him there’s no need to stay and fight every single opponent. It’s okay to turn and runaway – in fact it’s safer to do that. When you say that he feels as though you don’t understand him. He’s not some careless, impulsive child who’s just looking for a fight (okay maybe he is a little bit). So he doesn’t really get super angry, it’s more so that he is frustrated and a little upset that you don’t try to see it from his perspective.

P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)

It’s the same as the worst mistake he’s ever made with you – nearly burning you with his devil fruit. It made you realize that Ace can actually be quite dangerous (although you know he would NEVER hurt you intentionally). It made Ace realize that he needs to be more careful, the look of pure terror in your eyes has stayed with him ever since that incident, serving as a reminder.

Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?)

His tendency to not back down from a fight is simultaneously his most endearing and toxic trait. He constantly places himself in dangerous situations with minimal concern for his own safety.

R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around))

Having his confession rejected by you was definitely a blow to his self-esteem, but he respected and accepted your feelings. Instead of moping around about it he decides to laugh it off, trying to make light of a slightly disappointing situation.

S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)

Ace does not have any scars, battle related or self-inflicted.

TW self-harm: I do think ace got worryingly close to self-harming, but Sabo and Luffy made him rethink it all.

T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?)

The one and only time Ace broke your trust was after Blackbeards betrayal. You made him promise to take you with him when he left to hunt down Blackbeard because you didn’t want him to go alone. He promised but he had no intention of keeping that promise.

U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)

For a while Ace manages to get by by keeping himself preoccupied. But as soon as he lets up for even a minute, he realizes how much he misses you and is beyond tempted to just sail on back to wherever you are and tackle you to the ground plastering your face in lil kisses. When he’s not distracted, he really does miss you a lot. He hyper-fixates on what you could be doing at this very moment, whether or not you miss him too etc.

V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?)

When ace gets mad, he tends to get very loud. He raises his voice quite a lot and it becomes very, very frightening. He would never physically hurt you, but the anger and frustration in his voice is more than another to scare the shit out of you.

W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?)

Constantly being reminded or associated with the Pirate King. Maybe it doesn’t make him feel weak, but it makes him feel horrible inside and stirs up a lot of feelings and remarks people would make when he was younger. Unfortunately, once word gets out there isn’t much Ace can do to stop this from happening, however, before this, Ace avoided this by not telling ANYONE. He only told Luffy and Sabo, with a very small handful of others knowing (i.e Garp).

X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)

He hates turning his back on a fight or turning his back on people that talk shit about those he cares about. This is seen during the Marineford arc. He doesn’t let Akainus words about Whitebeard slide. He doesn’t runaway. He has no tolerance for that shit.

Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)

Ok this may be dark as hell but, Ace just wants to not feel like a burden to the world. He wants to be viewed as something different/separate from his father, but he can’t change history.

Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)

He doesn’t let you go. He’ll hold on to you until he is forcefully separated from your body. He just starts to spout a lot of nonsense – things don’t make sense at all, but he can’t help it right now. He can’t think properly when you’re about to leave him. He just wants you to stay.

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, BLOOD OFFICIAL VISUAL FANBOOK ー Interview Vol. 2 feat. Nao Nakamura

Source: DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, BLOOD Official Visual Fanbook

Release date: 2013

Huge thank you to @keithvalentinex​ for providing the raw scans!

SECTION 1: Q&A

Q1. When was the series’ sequel decided on?

A: Around the time the first game ‘DIABOLIK LOVERS’ was released in stores. We were fortunate enough to have already received news of an anime adaption at the time, so at some point we played with the idea of creating a fan disc to go along with it. However, if possible we wanted to hype up the series even more in anticipation of the anime’s release, which is how the production of a  ‘DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, BLOOD’ series came to realisation.

Q2. Did you plan on introducing a set of 4 new characters during the early phases of development?

A: The initial draft we received from Rejet-sama mentioned four characters. We figured that with that amount, we could pack it into one game and create an equal amount of content as we did for the Sakamaki’s, so we proceeded with said idea. At one of the first brainstorm sessions, we casually dropped the idea of creating a game with 6 Do-M characters... (lol) However, that would stray too far away from the core concept behind ‘DIABOLIK LOVERS’, so it obviously got rejected. (lol)

Q3. How did you go about writing the characters’ dialogue and actions?

A: I believe that the previous installment can be regarded rather groundbreaking within the genre of otome games. However, the boys coming across as too strong to the point where it would prevent someone from delving deeper into their character is something we reflected upon. We wanted to make up for that this time and created this game with the intend of exploring them even further.

Q4. What did you struggle the most with while writing the script?

A: This doesn’t apply solely to the script, but the fact there are so many romanceable characters in this game is what made it so difficult. However, we did not want there to be a difference in quality between the different characters’ routes. Despite our strong wish to please the playerbase, it made the distribution of time very difficult. The writers would first pen down the script, then Rejet-san would do the proofreading and make adjustments and then pass it on to us. However, reading a script while playing a game or simply reading it on paper is still different, so we were making minute changes down to the very last minute of development. We ran through the same process for the last game, but this time around, the total amount of content was just very large. We once again felt the struggle of putting in so many characters to choose from. However, we did this to create an even better game, so it was worth the struggle. 

Q5. Which character caused you the most problems while writing the script?

A: All of the Sakamaki’s. The four Mukami brothers who make their appearance in this installment may be Vampires, but they were once human just like the heroine, so in terms of emotions, they tend to sympathize with her more. As a result, it only makes the Sakamaki’s seem even more like they are the villains of the story. While this may seem obvious given their original setting of being both ‘Vampires’ and ‘extreme sadists’, it makes it very easy for the otome game element as well as the feelings they end up developing for the heroine to be lost, in which case they would no longer be the six brothers we wanted to deliver. Therefore, it was very difficult to convey to the player that the love they harbor for the heroine eventually makes them change, while still preserving the sadistic tendencies which stem from their nature as Vampires at the same time. The player base has spent quite a bit of time interacting with these brothers, and I am sure it was not always easy, but I hope said message was delivered to those who played our game.

Q6. Is there a character who underwent drastic changes compared to the last game?

A: All of them are still the same at the core, so my impression of them did not change depending on the scenario. I believe minor changes were done to the way some of the characters are drawn, but personally I perceive each character as a mix of both their previous and current representation. 

Q7. In this game, each section is divided into a ‘Situation Part’ and ‘Story Part’. Could you explain your intentions behind this?

A: When collecting feedback on the previous game, we received many complaints about the different chapters feeling inconsistent and all over the place. However, we always intended ‘DIABOLIK LOVERS’ to be a game in which the player gets to enjoy these different kind of ‘situations’, so without losing this part of the enjoyment, we figured we had to make the plot progression easier to grasp, which is how the current structure was implementend. To make it even more clear to the player, we divided it into two sections and gave each of them a title, changing the names as well. 

Q8. What are parts which have greatly improved or parts you want us to focus on in comparison to the first game?

A: To ensure the player gets to enjoy the development in the heroine and characters’ thoughts and feelings, we applied small adjustments till the very last second. We hope that the people playing the game will take notice of this as well. 

Q9. Why do you think the series has received such a great amount of support?

A: I believe the impact of the ‘Do-S Vampire’ concept, Satoi-san’s eye-catching illustrations and the charm of the cast who voices the characters all play a big part in this. Furthermore, I also believe that the simultaenous announcement of both drama CDs and a game which took place during the early stages of development had a large influence as well. We were able to make a smooth transition from the release of the CDs to the release of the games, which made it easier for the fans to follow along with the franchise. We truly are grateful for that!

Q10. Were there any ideas you wanted to incorporate in this game, but were unable to do in the end?

A: This game features the same selection segment as the previous one in which scenario’s 1 ~ 6 raise your love meter, while scenarios 7 ~ 10 raise the SM meter. However, we implemented the distinction between the ‘situation part’ and ‘story part’ this time, so it might have actually been even more enjoyable if the situation part raises the SM meter instead...I think. Those kind of features may vary depending on the vision of the director and staff members, so I would like to use this experience to think of various possible routes for future installments, as well as to settle on an end product which is fitting for the franchise. Furthermore, this may seem like a task without an end but I believe that the voicing plays a big factor in delivering the story. It is a vital element of conveying the message you want to tell, in a way that whether or not the player understands the plot is often highly dependent on the voice work. Every time I find myself wanting to perfect this, but it is difficult to supervise all of it just by myself...However, there’s always next time, so I’d love to squeeze in the time to thoroughly check this!

Q11. Do you have any more games planned for the series at present? Would you personally like to create more sequels?

A: We do not as of now, but if there is a strong demand for it, we might just be able to develop another game. Personally I would like to make a stereotypical ‘fandisc’ but the very first thing that comes to mind with those is a 'sweet, romantic story’ so I do struggle a little envisioning how that would play out with a cast made out of nothing but intense characters. 

Q12. Please leave a message for the fans.

A: Thanks to the support we have received from all of you, we were able to create so much content for this franchise. I put my heart and soul into this game, so I sincerely hope that many people will enjoy it. Your impressions and encouraging messages are a great motivator as well, so I am eagerly awaiting those! The series may deliver new installments in the future, and to ensure that you all can continue to enjoy ‘DIABOLIK LOVERS’, we will continue to try our hardest together with Rejet-san, so we’d be happy if you could send us your heartfelt support. 

SECTION 2: THEIR FAVORITE EPISODES

Sakamaki brothers: The final few chapters of Ayato’s route left a strong impression on me. I couldn’t help but wonder if somebody could truly be that stubborn and in denial about their own feelings, insistent on calling the girl they love ‘a prey’ till the very end. I felt so frustrated when the heroine’s feelings just wouldn’t get through to him, tears welled up in my eyes. 

Mukami brothers: The part which gave me the most goosebumps during the development stages has to be Ruki’s Manservant Ending. Takagi Sakurai-san did a magnificant job portraying his silent madness, it was truly wonderful. Second place would be Azusa’s brute ending, even though I knew how the story would go, I still ended up feeling a little depressed by it, so please be careful when you play this scenario...

SECTION 3: NAO NAKAMURA CHOOSES ー SITUATION-DEPENDENT CHARACTER SELECT

Who would you choose in these situations? What’s the developer’s opinion?

S1. To sleep together with?

Best: Subaru, I feel like he has a good sleeping posture.

Worst: Subaru, he might not move around much in his sleep, but it’d still be uncomfortable and narrow in that coffin, huh? 

S2. To go on a trip together with?

Best: Shuu, I’m sure he’d just loaf around the lodge all day, so I get to enjoy the trip in whichever way I want!

Worst: Laito, I’d rather keep my distance from him. 

S3. To eat together with?

Best: Kou because I’m sure he’d happily gobble it up.

Worst: Kanato, I feel like the food would be lacking in nutrients.

S4. To study with?

Best: Ruki, I think he’d do a good job explaining everything accurately.

Worst: ???, honestly all of them...

S5. To go on a date with?

Best: Yuma, I actually think he would make for a great boyfriend.

Worst: Shuu, because everything would be a chore to him...

S6. To play a video game with?

Best: Ayato, he just seems like the type of guy you can always have fun and make some ruckus with.

Worst: Reiji, he seems super fussy.

S7. To play sports with?

Best: Shuu, I don’t really like exercising so...I’ll go with the person who seems unlikely to exercise in the first place.

Worst: Ayato, I don’t like exercise after all...

S8. To go on a drive with?

Best: Ruki, I’m positive he would look handsome behind the wheel.

Worst: Azusa, it’d be bad if his bandages were to get stuck around the steering wheel or the gear stick...

[httpjeon]

MINE FOR TODAY — KSJ (M.)

synopsis. as part of a special valentines day sale, you make a bid in hopes to get a special discounted date with one of the dreamy bachelors of club ardor. you decide to choose The Romantic. 

pairing. seokjin/reader genre. angst, fluff, smut au. fake dating!au, date-for-hire!au wordcount. 6,171 contents. sad!seokjin, lonely!seokjin, light pining, teasing, protected sex, breast play, fingering, size kink (?), scratching, overstimulation, doggy style, pet names, light aftercare note. seokjins was by far the hardest to write. i have such a difficult time writing him ): i apologize, i did my best for him!

— club ardor masterlist.

© httpjeon 2020. do not repost, modify, or translate.

Your phone let out a startling ding, making you jump as you hadn't realized you'd forgotten to silence it. Taking a look around your cubicle, you made sure no one had noticed before you pulled it out and went to put in do not disturb mode. Before you did, however, the preview notification caught your attention.

"CLUB ARDOR VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL: See Inside for Details."

As you were about to unlock your phone to take a look, you heard the light clicks of your boss's heels coming towards you. You quickly slid your phone back into your drawer and turned your attention to your screen, feigning reading something.

Her footsteps paused outside of your cubicle before she called your name. You spun around in your chair to meet her gaze curiously.

"I really need those expense reports within the next hour, can you do that?" she asked.

"Oh yeah," you nodded, turning around once again to face your desk, "I'm actually almost done, I can probably have them on your desk in 30 minutes."

"That's perfect," she smiled, "Thank you."

You returned her smile and let out a sigh once you heard her footsteps disappear. Shaking your head, you let yourself become absorbed in your work once again -- forgetting about that email you'd received.

You caught a taxi to head home, not feeling like walking even though your apartment was only 5 minutes away. Your feet were aching and you just desperately wanted to take a shower and eat dinner as you'd accidentally missed your lunch break by working through it.

It wasn't the first time you'd considered yourself a bit too much of a workaholic.

It was nearing 11PM by the time you finally were able to settle down on the couch. Your hair was freshly washed and you were wrapped in a soft bathrobe with a nice face mask.

Reclining as the TV played in the background, you unlocked your phone to check after spending most of the day without. You responded to texts and checked your social media before suddenly remembered the email you had received earlier.

"CLUB ARDOR VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL: See Inside for Details."

It sat at the top of your emails and when you opened it, you were greeted with an image similar to a party invite. In pretty, cursive font it was written; "Once in a lifetime chance to meet the man of your dreams!"

There was a link beneath it that you clicked, causing it to open a new Safari page. The search bar indicated it had taken you to clubardor.com. It wasn't the first time you'd been on the website.

You heard of it's grand opening half a year ago and went to check it out. Unfortunately, you discovered that even the most basic package was 2 grand for 12 hours. The deluxe had a price that nearly sent you into cardiac arrest.

In the end, you just signed up for newsletters and things to be sent by email.

It seemed it paid off, as you found yourself on a page detailing a Valentine's special.

For the entire month of February, they were hosting a giveaway. According to each Date's schedule, a lucky woman would be chosen from a lottery to get a date with them for just $500 instead of $2,000. The insane discount had your jaw dropping.

You weren't embarrassed to admit that you were curious about the date-for-hire service. Biting your lip, you decided to throw your hat into the ring and place a bid on the special.

"Full money-back guarantee if you're not chosen!" was written in bold letters above the credit card input.

You had no worry about being scammed, Club Ardor had risen to the top in terms of dating services in the country -- after just 6 months of activity and just 7 bachelors available. They had an excellent reputation and were known for having an extremely high-class clientele.

With your lip caught between your teeth, an excited smile on your face, you put your payment information in and hit 'Enter'.

"Thank you for your bid! Please keep an eye on your email within the next week to determine if you've been chosen! Your lottery number is 1-241-994."

You opened up your note app and typed down the number on a blank note for safe keeping.

Returning to the website, you began to do some digging into each of the men available to hire. While their pictures weren't viewable -- for safety reasons, you supposed, there was plenty of information about them.

"Each Date has full control over creating his own scene. Location, dynamic, and length of time will vary. Please speak to your Date for more information on his plans to be sure you have allotted the correct time-frame. Abide by rules and limits he sets."

You flicked through the profiles of each man, eying their listed physical and emotional qualities.

That night, you went to sleep with excitement stirring in your heart.

Somehow, you managed to work through a couple days and ended up forgetting about even signing up for it. You were working so hard to get a promotion so you could escape the shitty cubicle that somehow spending $500 completely slipped your mind.

At least, that was until you were eating a bowl of cereal at nearly 3 in the morning on a Friday night -- 6 days after you had signed up, and your phone pinged with the alert of an email. Holding the spoon in your mouth, you picked up the device and unlocked it without even looking at the notification.

You went to your email and paused when you saw the email was from Club Ardor.

With shaking fingers, you opened it.

"Below are the applicants who filed for the lottery that won. If you do not see your number, expect a monetary refund within the next 24 hours."

You clicked out and went to your note app to check the number you had gotten. Refreshing your memory, you returned to the email and scanned down the list. There were a lot of numbers listed, you quickly realized. But by some miracle, you spotted your own number listed there in the middle.

"If your number is listed, please check your email for further instructions."

You backed out of the email and refreshed, sitting up straight when you realized you had a new one from Club Ardor.

"Congratulations on winning a special night, please follow this link to register for a date with the man of your choice!"

Clicking the bright red hyperlink, you watched the screen load for several seconds and go from white to black.

You flicked through all seven of the men passing the boyfriend, the romantic, the quiet one, the playboy, the softy, the bad boy, and the alpha male. It was easy to rule out the playboy, bad boy, and alpha male -- deeming them a little too hard of scenes than what you would be able to handle.

After a bit of deliberating, you decided on the romantic. He seemed to be the oldest at 26 years old and from the silhouette of his picture, you could see he had a very nice build with hide shoulders and pretty, thin waist. You assumed he would be closer to your type and you did enjoy romance so with a couple of clicks, you were registered for a date with him.

You were brought to another page which held instructions for downloading an application called Club Ardor along with a code it told you to input.

You did as you were instructed, highly impressed with the company's extensive work on the hiring process. It was very obvious to you that Club Ardor was, in fact, suited for those of high class. The service held an obviously high regard for discretion and safety for both its bachelors and clients.

Once the app was downloaded, you opened it and found a box to enter the code you'd been given.

You were then brought to a page to input information such as your name, age, height, likes, dislikes, and preferences. After entering it all, you were brought to an empty text message thread.

Before you could attempt to look around, your phone let out a jingle and a new text message popped up.

From: Seokjin Hi cutie! Our date is set for tomorrow night. Meet me at the Club Ardor building at 7PM sharp. Wear something nice and pretty, but comfortable. Can't wait to see you!

You read the text several times, surprised by the quick work he made before typing out a response letting him know you understood. The final thing he texted was a an address to the building you would meet him at.

Thankfully, your job has required you to dress nicely for business dinners in the past so you had a decent amount of things to wear. You decided on just a flowing dress that was breathable but complimented your figure. Placing it in the front of your closet for easy access, you went through your nightly routine and got into bed.

You worked through the day, it was a Friday so you compiled the information of the entire week and input it into the data system. It kept you busy and the hours passed by quickly.

You got off at 5, having made sure you finished everything as quickly as possible so you wouldn't have to work over time.

"You're in a rush today, _____," your boss smiled as she met you in the elevator, carrying a couple files.

"I um...I have a date tonight," you confessed sheepishly, face flushing when she gasped.

"Congratulations, I hope you have a wonderful time," she said, patting you on the back, "Stay safe, I'll see you on Monday."

The elevator opened to the 3rd floor and she got off, shooting you a little wave before the doors closed again. You were dropped off at the lobby and you adjusted your bag on your shoulder, bidding a goodbye to the receptionist as you exited your building.

Grabbing a taxi, you made your way home.

As soon as you stepped out of the shower, you heard your phone go off from your bedroom. The notification bell for the Club Ardor app was extremely hard to miss.

Wrapping a towel around yourself, you wandered into your bedroom and picked the device up.

From: Seokjin [5:45PM] Super excited, cutie! Can't wait to see you!

You smiled, typing out your response immediately, "Me either! See you soon!".

You were ready earlier than you would have liked. There were still 20 minutes until you could leave and be at Club Ardor on time. You didn't want to be too early or too late.

Timing it just right, you grabbed your purse and slipped your phone into the side pocket before slipping your heels on. The Uber you called pulled up right on time as you exited the lobby of your apartment complex.

Exchanging pleasantries, you crawled into the back seat and let out a nervous breath. Of course it wasn't until you were literally on your way that the nerves would kick in.

Club Ardor came into view at precisely 6:58PM.

The building was a huge high rise building with several floors. Club Ardor was a brightly lit neon sign atop the building. The Uber pulled up to the front curb and you stepped out, checking the time to see it was 6:59PM.

As the Uber sped away, you stepped up to the door, unsure of what to do. Deciding that you should probably let him know you were there, but as you unlocked your phone, the lobby door opened and a man stepped out.

He was dressed in a tux with a bowtie and he looked around for a second before his eyes landed on you.

"_____?" he smiled, walking up to you with his hand out, "It's nice to meet you, I'm Seokjin."

"Hi, Seokjin," you greeted, noting how big his hand was in yours before he pulled away.

"My cars in the garage," he jerked his head in the direction around the building, "Do you want to come or I can pull up."

"I'll...wait here," you said, making him laugh before nodding his head.

"I get it," he waved it off and began to jog around the building.

You could hear the rev of a car engine echo from the garage before a sleek white car came into view. Seokjin got out and jogged around the car to open the door for you.

You thanked him with a soft smile before getting in, pulling the seat belt on as he slammed the door shut.

Once in an enclosed space with him, you were immediately aware of how good he smelled. An almost sweet, fruity perfume wafted off of him and if you looked closely you could see he had a lip tint on.

"So, what's the plan?" you asked, breaking the silence that had settled.

"A romantic date on the water for two," he sighed, almost dreamily.

It couldn't help but laugh, which in turn brought a bright smile onto his face. The atmosphere became increasingly less tense as Seokjin drove to somewhere unknown.

"I'm so hungry," he complained from the driver's seat, making a turn onto a less populated road, "The food is honestly to die for."

"Whoa, what is this place?" you asked, not fully hearing his comment as you watched him pull up at a parking lot near a huge lake.

"This is where our date is, silly!" he grinned, getting out of the car and rounding to open your door for you.

He took your hand, escorting you towards a pier where there was a large boat bobbing with the waters natural movement.

"Hop aboard, lovely," he kept h is hold on your hand as you got onto the boat. He followed you and tugged your hand to get you to follow him.

Your body wavered as the boat suddenly took off but Seokjin was there to steady you with a broad grin.

"Have a seat," he motioned to a small table with two chairs across from one another.

"So," you huffed a laugh as you took a seat, "When you said...dinner on the water."

"I meant it literally," he shrugged, reaching over to click a button and several strings of white fairy lights illuminated everything around you.

"Whoa," you gasped, looking around.

You could see the lights from the buildings on shore and there was a beautiful cast of the moon shining over the water. It was beautiful and as you turned your gaze back to Seokjin, you were surprised to find him leaning his chin on his hand as he watched you.

"Your eyes are sparkling," he said, an almost serene smile on his lips.

In more proper light, you could make out his features more. He had wide shoulders, pretty, plump lips and flawless skin. His eyes were sparkling as well, the dark irises looking like stars were shining within them.

"Would you like to start eating?" he asked, reaching across the table to place his hand over yours. His skin was soft and warm and it made you smile as you nodded.

Dinner was a blur, he had a few dishes available to choose from since he didn't know exactly what you would like. You chose the steak, which seemed to make Seokjin quite happy as he ordered the same thing.

You could see where his romantic title came from as he reached across the table to feed you a couple bites every once in a while. Once the main course was over, the two of you shared a strawberry cheesecake slice after he lit the candle at the end of the table.

You had a good laugh when he failed to light it a few times because the breeze kept blowing it out.

"Now, the next portion of our date I'll admit...it's a little lame," he confessed sheepishly as he walked you back to the car.

"Oh?" you climbed into the seat after he opened the door for you.

"We're going to head back to Club Ardor, drink, and watch movies," he said, turning the key in the ignition.

"It's not lame," you giggled, resting your head back on the seat, "I think it's a great way to unwind."

"I'm glad you feel that way," he said, sounding relieved.

When you finally pulled back up to Club Ardor, Seokjin was blasting music and singing obnoxiously to it. You had your hand over your mouth to keep from laughing too much. Every once in a while, he'd take a look at you and end up laughing midway through his singing.

He pulled into the garage and pulled into a parking spot that had his name on a sign in front of it.

There was a door that he had to scan a card to unlock which led into what appeared to be a lounge room. He didn't waste any time in clicking the button to call the elevator.

Seokjin was comfortable. He had such a calm, relaxing demeanor that it put you at ease.

The two of you sat on the couch and clinked your glasses together before you both downed the shot he had poured. You cringed as it burned going down your throat, leaving a horrible taste in your mouth.

A bit of a lightweight, it didn't take much to get you tipsy and soon you were both losing it over some horrible movie he had accidentally picked.

"I swear it looked good in the previews!" he argued through laughter when you teased him about his choice.

"I'm picking the next one, you've lost movie-picking privileges!" you laughed, stealing the remote from his hands, making him gasp in shock.

He immediately began to try and get it back from you, his body pressed against yours. His perfume once again and it made your eyes flutter.

Pressed against the arm of the couch with Seokjin's body dangerously close to yours, you both paused. He met your eyes, seemingly searching for something in your gaze. As you searched his, you couldn't deny how...sad they looked.

Your breath began to quicken when his face slowly got closer to yours. You could feel his breath against your lips but before they could meet, he was pulling away. He took the remote with him and took his seat beside you once again, leaving you pressing your hand to your chest as your heart raced almost painfully.

There was a terrifyingly loud alarm that rang throughout the room, making you jolt awake.

Looking at the clock, you were disgruntled to see that it was 7 in the morning. Sitting up, you realized you were in bed when you were positive you fell asleep with Seokjin on the couch.

"Hey," he said, making you jump as he suddenly appeared in the doorway, "It's 7am."

"I see that," you mumbled, sliding out of bed, still sleepy.

"Our 12 hours are up."

And just like that it was over.

However, Seokjin didn't leave your mind after that though. Even when you stepped into your apartment, you couldn't stop thinking about him.

Especially how you almost kissed.

You were, of course, aware that Club Ardor dates would occasionally participate in physical intimacy. You hadn't expected it to happen to though. You could still remember the way his scent wafted around you and how close his lips were to yours or that sad look in his eyes.

A week passed by quickly and painlessly. You fell back into a rhythm with work, giving vague replies to your boss when she asked about how it went.

Somehow, Seokjin kept slipping into your mind. You couldn't shake him.

A measly 12 hours with a man you had only just met, and he seemed to have invaded your very subconscious.

That day, after work, you decided to take a detour to a local bar. It wasn't a very big, popular bar but the people in your neighborhood frequented it quite often. The atmosphere was buzzing inside and you made to take a seat at the bar but paused when you spotted a figure you recognized. You blinked several times, making sure you weren't hallucinating him.

"Seokjin?" you asked, making him jump.

His head snapped over to look at you, his eyes wide. He took you in for a second before his face morphed into confusion.

"What're you doing here? How'd you know I was here?" he sounded defensive and it made you frown, shaking your head.

"I live in the apartment complex down the street, I stopped here after work for a nice Friday drink," you motioned to your work attire and he seemed to relax. Part of you was offended that he thought you were some kind of stalker but you supposed in his line of work, it wasn't out of the realm of possibility.

He was drinking a beer slowly, seemingly lost in his own little world as he turned away from you. You got the hint, and went to walk away from him but you stopped when he called your name.

"Um...why don't you sit with me?" he asked, motioning to the empty stool beside him.

You were relieved he asked you to join him because that's all you wanted. You took the seat and he ordered you a drink, for which you thanked him. Being in his presence again felt nice and you already began to relax.

It seemed Seokjin had been drinking there for a while. His face was a little red and he was openly giggly and friendly -- a complete difference than what he was when you first sat him sitting there.

Time flew by with him but eventually you realized it had gotten dark outside and you'd stayed far longer than you had intended.

"I really need to be going," you sighed, the words painful as they slipped out of your mouth. You didn't want to leave him, you'd thought about him so long.

"Wait!" he cried, grabbing a hold of your blouse sleeve, effectively halting you.

"What is it?" you asked, alarmed by the saddened look on his face.

"I...Can't you stay?" he asked, voice soft.

"I...I really need to get home...I've got some reports to go over for work..." you explained, wincing when you watched him visibly deflate, "You...you can come over, if you want?"

"Really?" he looked hopeful again as he hopped off the stool.

He wobbled a bit and you laughed, reaching out to steady him even though you were a little tipsy yourself.

The two of you walked outside, the cool night air hitting your heated skin and making you shiver.

"I really...I'm not supposed to go home with clients..." he mumbled, as if talking to himself, "But I guess you're not technically a client anymore, right?"

You chuckled, cheeks burning when he pulled you close against him, "I guess I'm not."

"Yeah, so it's fine!" he chuckled.

Once the two of you stepped into your apartment, things seemed to shift. He took a seat on the couch and relaxed.

It gave you a moment to take him in; he wore jeans and a t-shirt, looking even better in casual clothes than he did in formal wear.

"Do you want some hot chocolate?" you asked suddenly, unable to hold back your smile when he visibly perked up, "I'll make you some."

You disappeared into the kitchen, letting out a deep breath as you realized your heart was racing. Seokjin seemed to have the effect. He didn't even do anything and he had you flustered.

You heated up some milk in the microwave, not wanting to bother with stove top. Pouring the powder into the cup you stood and waited for the milk to be done.

Before it could finish, you felt a presence behind you that had you jumping out of your skin. Turning around, you were face to face with Seokjin's incredible visage. His brown eyes were wide, almost curious and a smile lingered on his pretty lips.

You subconsciously licked your own lips and you swear your saw his own eyes drop to your lips. The energy was tense between the two of you and his perfume was permeating off of him once again. Seokjin opened his mouth to say something but before he could the microwave beeped.

The spell was broken and he backed off, wandering back into the kitchen as you began to mix the powder and milk in the cup.

You took a seat beside him, handing him the cup before turning the TV on. The two of you relaxed, you pulled your throw blanket over you shoulders as Seokjin sipped on his hot chocolate.

As you watched him, you couldn't help but find him cute.

"Hey Seokjin?" you asked, earning a hum from him, "How come you work at Club Ardor?"

"Why do you ask that?" he questioned, frowning as he sat up straighter.

You followed suit, shrugging your shoulders, "I mean surely being a date-for-hire wasn't the job you dreamed of," your words brought a smile to his face and he let out a soft chuckle, "Plus, you're crazy good looking, funny, and charming...I'd expect someone like you to be a model or something."

"Well...thanks..." he smiled, cheeks a little red, "To tell you the truth...I've dated quite a bit but..." he seemed to deflate as he spoke, "It never worked out, they all just wanted me for my money and looks."

"How shallow..." you sighed, shaking your head in dismay.

"Eventually, I just decided to stop trying but...if I'm honest I get so lonely," his confession made you frown, "But I just...don't want to be open to anyone so...this job makes me feel loved, even if it's fake."

"You won't even try to find a girlfriend again or something?" you asked, pained at the idea of him just giving up.

He shook his head, "No one ever wants me for me. Do you think I haven't tried my hardest? It never works, I'm sick of feeling left like I'm worth less than I am."

"Seokjin..." you muttered, reaching over to place your hand over his that was curled up in a fist on his knee, "You...deserve to have someone genuinely love you. It seems impossible but...it can't be like this forever. Someone will come along that will see you for you but you can't just...shut down. You should keep trying," you squeezed his hand, feeling it relax from the fist, "Maybe you've been dating the wrong women!"

"You're right," he mumbled, surprising you, "I think someone more like you is my type."

It took a second for those words to sink in,"Wha--" you shook your head, letting out a soft laugh, "Don't tease me like that!"

"No, I really mean it, _____," he whispered, meeting your gaze. It held such conviction and sincerity that you felt your heart speed up, "I think you're beautiful and you're so sincere. When we had our date," he paused after saying the word before sighing, "I had never wanted to kiss or touch someone more than I wanted to with you. You are absolutely captivating and you don't even know it."

He shifted on the couch, turning to face his body towards you. Your proximity was closer than you expected once he faced you, if you leaned in just a bit more your noses would touch.

The tension between you rose, something hot building that neither of you could deny.

Then, his lips were on yours -- soft and warm with the taste of hot chocolate lingering on them. It wasn't even a thought to hesitate, you were immediately returning the kiss.

It became more heated as the seconds ticked by. You found yourself pinned to the couch with him above you, never breaking the kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck, tangling your fingers in his hair. Whimpering, you felt a shiver go down your spine when he softly nipped at your bottom lip.

When you pulled away, there was a minuscule thread of saliva connecting your lips. Once you met his heated gaze, you both knew what the other wanted.

The walk to the bedroom was a blur of shared kisses and wandering hands pushing clothes off. By the time you were pinned to the bed, you were both naked. 

Seokjin's pretty, plump lips found purchase on your neck, making you shiver as his breath fanned over the sensitive skin. Kisses trailed down to your chest, over your collarbones and sternum before reaching the gentle swell of your breasts. 

Your chest rose as you inhaled sharply at the feeling of his warm lips enveloping a perked nipple. His fingers caressed your skin so delicately you could almost miss it completely  

His digits dipped between your thighs to find your folds already wet. He groaned, lightly grazing his teeth against your nipple before looking up at you through his lashes.

“All this because of some kissing?” he teased, making your cheeks burn.

He huffed a laugh and moved to take your other nipple into his mouth. At that same moment, his fingers parted your folds and found your clit. You gasped, spreading your legs further for his access. 

His digits were skilled and graceful, circling your clit to make you whimper before dipping into your entrance. His fingers were long and found your sweet spot quickly, chuckling when your hips twitched upwards at the stimulation. 

He sat up, pulling away from you as he sat back on his heels. His fingers were still inside you and he eagerly watched the way your entrance stretched to accommodate his two — three fingers. 

Your eyes fluttered, rolling back in your head as he fucked you with his fingers. As a result, you missed him wrapping his left hand around his own cock, biting his lip as he finally got the stimulant he needed. 

Precum dripped down his shaft and he eagerly used it to lubricate his movements. He scissored his fingers inside you, making sure you were stretched enough to take him. 

When he pulled out, you whined at how empty you felt. 

“Have you got a condom?” he breathed, tightening his fist around his cock when you reached into your bedside drawer and pulled one out. 

You settled back, spreading your legs once again. He groaned, shuffling forward to cover your body with his. Your eyes met as the tip of this cock kissed your entrance. 

Both your mouths fell open as he sunk into you. Your tight walls squeezed him so wonderfully that he groaned. He stretched you open even more than his fingers had, giving you that wonderful burn you needed. 

He met your lips in a sweet kiss as he angled his hips toward your sweet spot. You whimpered, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to ground you as the pleasure ran rampant. He hissed, cock twitching at the sting of your nails on his back. 

His pelvic bone ground against your clit every time he sunk in, edging you closer and closer to release. Seokjin could feel the way you fluttered around him and he groaned.

Sliding a hand between your bodies, he circled the bud until you arched with a cry of pleasure. 

He eased you through the high, grinning when you trembled through the overstimulation. Finally, he slowed to a stop and pulled out. You whimpered, feeling your hole clench around nothing. 

“Roll over,�� he breathed, cupping your hip to urge you onto your front.

With your face buried in the pillow and your ass in the air, you looked like a delectable treat for him. Standing on his knees, he sunk his cock back into your cunt. 

You both groaned. The angle had him hitting your spot with painful accuracy. You cried out, muffled in the fabric of the pillow, as he fucked you into even more overstimulation. Your recent orgasm had you much more sensitive and this position allowed him to abuse that. 

An almost sadistic grin crossed over his face as he enjoyed the little cries and whimpers you released the harder he fucked his cock into you. 

Reaching down, he tangled his hand in your hair. You gasped as he tugged until you were up on your knees as well. Your back was against his chest and you could feel him panting against your neck.

His lips found the junction of your neck and shoulder, nipping at the skin there. Your walls fluttered around him and he released your hair to reach around and cup your breast. 

“Fuck,” you gasped as he pinched your nipple, making your eyes roll back in your head.

“What is it, baby?” he groaned, the pet name making you flutter around him again. 

“M-Make me cum, please,” you begging, making him groan once more.

He didn't say anything further, simply slid his hand down your body until he found your swollen clit. The second his fingers touched the bud, you clenched tight around him in sensitivity. 

He circled the bud until you were trembling and gushing around him. You cried out his name as pleasure coursed through your body from your high. Seokjin didn't stop circling your clit and fucking his cock into your spasming walls until you were near tears.

He finally let you fall back down to the bed and began to chase his own high. He spread your ass cheeks apart, getting a good view of the way your cunt tried to suck him back in on every out stroke. The sight made him groan. 

It took you deliberately squeezing tightly around him tightly for him to cum. It was sudden and knocked the air out of him. He gripped your hips tightly as he spilled into the condom, his cock twitching the entire time.

Everything was still for several seconds before he pulled out. 

You rolled over to lay on your side as Seokjin got up and went into the bathroom. He came out a moment later with a wet cloth that he used to clean your thighs and folds with, laughing when you playfully smacked his shoulder from the oversensitivity. 

He finally crawled into the bed, the two of you wiggling until you were comfortable. 

You laid with Seokjin's chest beneath your head, the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat the only thing you heard. His hand softly combed through your hair and you smiled.

"This...This is what I've been needing for so long," he whispered, "No one trying to get something out of being with me. Just a sincere...caring touch."

"This is what you deserve, Seokjin," you sitting up to look at him. His hair was messed up in an adorable way that made you smile, "You can have so much more if you just...open yourself to it again."

Seokjin's gaze turns glassy as he opened his mouth to speak, "I'm just...scared."

Your heart ached when you saw a tear trickle from his eye. Reaching up, you swiped it away, "I know but...you deserve to be loved, Seokjin."

He didn't reply, simply reaching up to pull you back down into his arms. You held him in return, running your fingertips over his skin until you felt him relax as sleep finally overcame him. Adjusting yourself more comfortably, you let yourself fall asleep in his arms.

You opened your eyes to the morning sun shining into your bedroom. You licked your lips as your mouth felt dry and moved to sit up. As you did, you remembered what happened last night.

Looking beside you, you realized he wasn't in bed and the sheets were cold. Standing up, you wrapped your fuzzy robe around you and crept out of the bedroom.

"Seokjin?" you called, frowning when you received no reply.

Your heart was pounding as you made a round around the apartment to see if he left a note of anything. When you couldn't find anything, you returned to your bedroom to pick up your phone.

You froze, realizing you never actually got his phone number. You'd only communicated through the Club Ardor app.

Clicking on the icon, you waited for it to load.

Instead of being brought to your profile, you reached a page with a simple notice on it.

"Your date has filed a report, you are now blocked from using the Club Ardor service. If further contact is attempted, Club Ardor will be forced to take legal matters."

You stared at your phone for several seconds.

Everything that happened flashed through your mind -- the way he kissed you and confessed his feelings of loneliness and hurt to you. You wondered if any of it was true. Were you a game to him?

Your view of the notice on your screen became blurry as you realized you would never know.

[skellebonez]

I just finished reading the messages from Discord and I couldn't resist. Macaque and Pigsy with 8 and 26 (you know what this is about)

I had to write this ASAP so I wouldn't forget or be unable to find exactly what this was about again for reference because this is about something from 3 days ago (and if I hadn’t bumped this it wouldn’t have been written for like 4-5 more days because of my queue)! What's the context here? It's a surprise if you don't know, just read the fill and you will understand why it needed written. Shout out to @animemoonprincess because you know why (and also because a chunk of the dialogue came from you).

I know of your reputation all too well./You don’t hate me.

"You cannot be serious," Macaque muttered under his breath. "You truly cannot be serious. This cannot be a thing that is happening to me at this very moment... I am an immortal being, I almost defeated the Monkey King, I almost defeated your kid, I-!”

“I know of your reputation all too well,” Pigsy brushed off with a scowl as he looked at the two items in his hands to, once again, decide which one was of higher quality and therefore more worthy of a purchase. “Believe me, I didn’t jump into this without knowing what I was getting into, bub.”

Macaque, Six Eared Macaque, was standing in a department store of some kind with his arms bogged down with baskets of all the stuff he had mistakenly allowed himself to look at and react to.

He would ask how, exactly, he had allowed himself to get to this point... But quite frankly he had absolutely no idea. One day he had come back after his, admittedly, crushing defeat at the hands of the Monkie Kid himself and before he knew it he had somehow assimilated into their little group to the point that MK had used his True Sight on him by accident and discovered his little secret.

His Six Eared title was not just a title. It was literal. And his six ears changed colors depending on how he felt and Macaque had never learned how to control that.

It hadn't taken him long to figure out exactly what each of the colors meant. And eventually MK, much more conniving than Macaque had ever given him credit for before, had made a chart. It was basic, of course, red meant he was angry (or really passionate) and blue meant he was happy and grey meant he was sad and so on and so forth. Even figured out what the number of ears sharing the same color meant.

And despite Macaque's best efforts to hide how he was actually starting to feel about the group (more positive emotions than he would ever admit before the day he died again) MK would just look at him sometimes and announce it. Macaque would have been angry if he hadn't, you know... tried to kill the kid. He supposed that the occasional "oh yeah, he looks pissed but he's actually at 2 purple (relaxed) and 2 blue (happy) and 2 pink (love) so I think loved that soup Pigsy" was well deserved.

Eventually he just dropped the glamor hiding his ears (one of many, including the one hiding his damaged eye) and then things spiraled out of control because MK had, at least, never announced when he was feeling genuinely bad unless he had to.

Now everyone could see when his ears went black and grey (upset and sad in varying degrees) at the sight of Monkey King's visage on TV or the taste of something that he had memories of that he could no longer reach. They saw when some would turn yellow (fear) hearing MK yelp in pain (and the fact that happened now, fear for the kid's safety, boggled his mind). They saw the green of jealousy more than once when he watched MK and Monkey King interact. He made sure to leave before that happened again.

That very morning before he and Wukong had attempted to talk. It hadn't... gone well. He had attempted to hide his mood, put the glamor back up, but MK had done what he had only done a handful of times before. He'd gone to Pigsy and told him his (what they had deemed) color rating. 2 red, 3 black, 1 grey. And that sounded about right to him. He wasn't really angry, just... upset. He wanted to be left alone.

Pigsy had followed him to his dojo with hot soup and an air mattress and somehow... somehow that helped. He didn't know why it did, but it helped.

And then he was awoken this morning to Pigsy shaking him awake and dragging him to this store and he was buying literally everything Mac made the mistake of looking at and liking and it was actually kind of endearing but also worrying.

Speaking of which, Pigsy was holding up a little plush doll. Not all that dissimilar to the one MK had. "Do you want this?"

"What? No," Macaque snapped, raising his eyebrows at the suggestion. Yes it was cute, but-

"Hm, I see," Pigsy said vaguely, tossing it on the pile of random stuff in Macaque's arms.

"Wh- stop wasting your money!" Macaque tried to argue, pulling the plush doll out of the pile of useless trinkets he didn't need to toss it back to the pig demon.

Pigsy growled, shoving the plushie into Macaque's arms. "I'm not wasting it if its making you happy am I?"

"H-HAPPY?" Macaque asked, and if anyone said anything he would deny the squeak that came with his word. "I-You-I am starting to hate you!"

“You don’t hate me,” Pigsy retorted casually, as easily as if he had added a dash more spice to his soup broth after a quick taste.

And Macaque had to pause and admit to himself after a moment of self reflection, and looking at his literal reflection in a nearby window (2 purple, 2 blue, 2 pink)... no. He didn’t hate Pigsy.

Huh.

----------

"Kid help, your boss is crazy," Macaque attempted to announce when he "broke into" MK's apartment through the front door, arms still bogged down with all the stuff the chef had purchased for him. He needed somewhere to store his stuff while he fixed up his old dojo. "He-"

"I see Pigsy has adopted you too."

"He's wHAT?"

----------

Macaque had tossed all the clothes and plush toys and trinkets at MK, who made no secret that he was very offended by this, before rushing down to the closed noodle shop where he had left him.

"Pigsy you can't adopt me, I'm older than you and I don't legally exist!" He yelled, grabbing the pig demon by the shoulders and looking at him very seriously.

Pigsy just smirked back at him. "Wanna bet I can't? I have Wukong's lawyer on speed dial."

Well shit.