#very valid if it makes you uncomfy but people who are in the lgbt community

[legumelupin]

i dont think i will ever argue with someone about whether or not wolfstar is canon. idk how to put it but if you don’t think it’s canon, fine whatever i’m not going to force you to think it is or even debate with you about it. but that just means you probably not queer/can’t read queer-coding which again, is fine, but is incredibly straight of you and at this point i just don’t know if we’ll have similar opinions for the rest of series and i’m not interested in arguing about things. you don’t have to explicitly ship wolfstar to acknowledge sirius and remus’s queercoding but by not acknowledging the way they were written, it’s kind of like ignoring key aspects of their characters.

i have a friend irl who is very Straight and is a ‘gryffindor’ (she’s a ravenclaw who wants her main character moment and i dont blame her but please, you can be the main character and not be gryffindor (this is not important to this small rant)). but i brought up wolfstar to her and she said ‘haha yeah! ive seen theories about that but i just love remus and tonks. but it’s interesting!’

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okay goodbye. we can be friends but ur on thin ice and now you make me nervous. remus lupin is so obviously written as gay/bi and tonks so obviously as queer in some type of way that anyone who doesn’t see how forced remodora is makes me nervous. not saying you can’t or shouldn’t ship it but the author saw she wrote one obviously gay character and another who was definitely queer, probably non-binary and almost certainly a lesbian and tried to pair them together and in doing so took a very interesting and different character and made her.....plain? it just doesn’t make sense in a lot of ways and literally just feels Not Right. yes, there was a war happening at the time and everything and wartime marriages and not knowing if you’ll live to the next day and what have you but i personally don’t feel like that applies to this specific case.

bc remodora is so heteronormative in a way and forced and it doesn’t make sense. there are a lot of ways it can be written to make sense, i’m sure but even harry was shocked in the books at tonks and remus’s relationship. and i don’t chalk that up to his obviliousness. he was right in being confused because there was little to no chemistry.

anyway, straights just need to, in the words of kakashi hatake from naruto, see underneath the underneath. because there is no way that remus lupin wasn’t gay and that wolfstar wasn’t a thing at the very least during their time at and immediately after hogwarts.

this was just a little personal rant about straight people ✨ not aimed at anyone specifically here at all i just see a lot of hp tiktok and people who take remus to be straight.

and any baby gay/queer who just discover wolfstar, this isn’t about you either. this is specifically about straight people who can’t read queercoding and take canon at face value without criticizing it at all (which is obviously a much larger conversation).

THIS IS NOT A REMODORA HATE POST!!!! i have said it once on this blog i will say it a thousand more times: i do not care who you ship. i will not bother you about who you ship (with the obvious exceptions of pedophilia but that’s a whole other conversation). but in this case, remodora stans continue on strong i love you for shipping this ship, it’s just not my personal boat.

[goatpaste]

Hey dude, you're not aphobic or anything right? Like I'm just checking cause I heard someone say that you are

hhhh

ok im just gonna like set this lil ‘disclaimer’ here

i have answered this a good maybe half year ago, i answered a LOT of ask about this months ago. i had a lot of people calling me aphobic and sending me death threats despite the fact that i acted very civil during it.

im going to answer this for the fact that i have a ton of new followers, but if i start getting people spamming my inbox and sending me death threats again i will close my inbox

my opinions have for the most part stayed the same, which slight changes

i respect asexual and aromantic people! their valid! i literally dont care what their doing

the reason i was called aphobic was that i said i that ace people, SPECIFICALLY a cishet ace/aro person isnt really lgbt. its just not. and i also dived into a lot of hard truths about asexual history while not the fault of ace people today ARE a problem such as the person coining asexual term and flag was a really shitty person and that the ace/aro community tried to claim the A in the lgbtqa acronym for their community without ever thinking of the true history of that letter as being for ally, not just cishet ally but closest and question lgbt people. while technically cishet ace/aro people still can be under this umbrella the problem was the amount of people not recognizing who that letter was truly for.

the only real thing that has changed about my opinion is like.

if you ace/aro cishet and say your lgbt man i dont care i guess, like whatever yknow. im not going to pick this fight over this shit and stuff. its fine and whatever.

people were also big mad because i straight up said, ace/aro people are valid and allowed and DO face a form of oppression from society and deal with their own set of identity issues and shit that stems from the norm society has in place and shit. but i think they need to recognize that a loT of what ace/aro people like talk about in their oppression almost always stems from misogyny and not always lgbt related issues. AGAIN this apply to cishet ace/aro people. a gay and/or trans ace/aro people will face many different issues as an ace person but it will stem from them being ALSO lgbt.

but like in short, yeah i dont fuckin hate ace/aro people. one, i literally ID as an ace person throughout highshcool, then i grew up and realized i wasn't ace i was 15 and being groomed  

and not i ID as a gay trans man, but something i literally don’t talk about being it kinda makes me uncomfy like i dont even really discuss it with my friends is that i still like question being an ace and/or aro person. i dont want to talk about it with strangers online because literally the only person i need to talk to about it is myself and a person i may ever date if i ever do. 

this shit isnt just me being hostile and coming from no where like a loT of people wanna act. it from my own learned information and onions over many years and personal experience as an lgbt person and ect.

anyways, lol i hope this help and doesnt come off as being mean or hostile. im literally noT looking to get more threats in my inbox about how ‘ace people want to staple my mouth shut’ again :-)))

[adminleonsrestingplace]

ok i dont rlly wanna start anything but,,, not supporting bi/pan lesbains isnt rlly being an exclutionist. a bi/pan lesbain/gay is someone who uses that term to say they are bi/pan with a lewn towards the same gender which could literally just be described at that. bi/pan witha. lean towards (gender). lesbians are one of the smallest communities in the lgbtq+ and someone calling themself a bi/pan lesbian is really not good for them. i myself am not bi/pan lesbian but i am very educated in the topic and its not rlly a good thing.

I’m sorry, but I still cannot agree with invalidating someone’s identity because of that- If someone feels comfy labeling themselves as “Bi/Pan with a lean towards the same gender” (Which is what I sometimes label myself as- My lean varies on the day-), then they’ll label themselves as such. There are a lot of overlapping labels in the LGBT+ community, it just boils down to what the individual feels more comfy with. That’s all labels are, an identifier that make the person using them feel more comfy with themselves. A label is not for other people. It for the person who uses it. If lesbophobes wanna use bi/pan lesbians as an excuse to be lesbophobes, they can go fuck themselves, but it shouldn’t be the bi/pan lesbians that get the hate.

Again, it’s very valid to be uncomfy with a thing and not really be for it, like I’m not denouncing that at all, but it’s not a reason to sit here and say that the label is bad when it could be something that is making someone happy with themselves. People shouldn’t be treating them like they’re MAPS (Which I have seen in the past-)

Btw thank you for your opinion Ik you don’t wanna start anything so I’m sorry if that sounded angry- I appreciate hearing your opinion on the matter!!

[aurdwynni]

ughhh ive been in the vicinity of some ppl who make me Uncomfy recently so im just gonna get some things out and possibly get some ppl off my blog

lgbt+. say it with me: L-G-B-T-plus. make it a qap, make it a q+, whatever, but it is not just lgbt.

ace/aro people have just as much right to be in the lgbt+ community as lgbt ppl. ace/aro ppl experience violence and discrimination as a result of their sexuality so cut the bullshit

i can at least see where some ppl are coming from with their criticisms of pansexual as an identity? like i understand that it can be read to imply that bi people arent attracted to nb and/or trans people, but thats... not the case? i dont know much (anything) abt the history of pansexuality, but if i had to guess i’d say it arose when some people got worried about those very same implications and created an identity to avoid that confusion. i read them as synonymous, choice falling to the person in question. point is, the existence of pan as an identity isnt inherently transphobic/nb-phobic. (and if you think it is why aren’t you out there complaining the same about bisexuality? after all it’s really the “non-inclusive” one if that’s the stance you’re taking)

in reference to all those points abt exclusionism, “but most [identity] are [type of bigotry]” is not a valid excuse (even if it was true)! every group, even those subject to bigotry, contains bigotry within it. if you’re so concerned about encountering bigotry that you’re unwilling to so much as give a group a chance because you’re afraid they might be bigots, i have some advice: never talk to anyone you don’t know ever again. see how that goes

my stance on what it means to be trans is this: you need dysphoria to be trans, but that dysphoria doesn’t have to be physical. if you feel more comfortable presenting as a different gender, even if you dont experience physical dysphoria and wouldnt want gender reassignment therapy/surgery, congrats! you can be trans!

if you send me hate it’ll honestly just give me a reason to remake this blog like i’ve been thinking about doing for a while so who’s the real winner here

[serkonans]

what do you think about bi and pan people calling themselves gay? idk as a lesbian it kind of makes me uncomfy and i cant pinpoint why.

I’m actually pan, and I sometimes use gay to describe myself!

Part of that is because my gender and sexuality are both incredibly fluid and there are times where I feel like a man and have very little interest in women, or vice versa, and at those times it’s the most accurate way to describe my sexuality (though, really, I usually stubbornly cling to the bi/pan labels even through those times).

The rest of the time, it’s largely because as an LGBT+ person whose sexuality and gender are not part of the titular four, I get lumped in, by others, to those communities (gay and trans). A lot of LGBT+ people are against the use of the word q***r (I do use that word most frequently, but I’m censoring because I don’t know your feelings on it; be sure to blacklist it if it bothers you bc it does pop up on this blog) and I don’t feel at all represented by a plus sign…. but at the same time, I don’t want to keep extending LGBT+ with a bunch of letters.

Meanwhile, “the gay community” is used a lot to describe everyone who fits under the LGBT+ heading. So a lot of us who are not gay or a lesbian still use gay to describe ourselves because other people do that to us already.

I think, too, that the “I’m so gay” comments from bi/pan people are usually a way of celebrating and expressing same/similar gender attraction (for lack of a phrase that doesn’t have ties to conversion therapy). In our society, primarily to straight people, “gay” is almost a verb. “They got gay-married.” “She’s gay now.” Etc. I’m pretty sure it’s tied into the mindset that being LGBT+ is a choice.

So with the knowledge that people are going to assume we’re gay (or “being gay,” whatever the hell that means) by virtue of us being attracted to or dating people of the same/similar gender, it’s a way to control our own narrative. We’re expressing “gay” feelings, so we acknowledge them with “I’m so gay”.

And like I said, there’s also a lack of good phrases to express that interest without resorting to conversion therapy terms. There’s “sapphic” and “wlw/mlm” but there’s been controversy around the usage of both of those, and they’re not necessarily readily understood by people outside of Tumblr.

So I think there’s a couple different reasons that happens, and I really don’t think that it stems from a place of wanting to dismiss, invalidate, or infringe upon the gay and/or lesbian experiences. But I understand why it bothers you, as someone who has a wave of suspicion every time someone nonchalantly goes “oh, me too” in response to me acknowledging my sexuality/gender/neurodivergence/so on and so forth. It can feel really casual and appropriative, like someone is simultaneously co-opting and devaluing an experience that you have and they don’t.

And you’re absolutely entitled to that feeling and there’s nothing wrong with feeling it, or with disagreeing with me on the validity of these reasons – I just ask that you do so with the understanding that a lot of us face very, very similar experiences and a lot of us feel underrepresented by the LGBT+ community.

It might be a temporary solution, and it might not be the most ideal one, but it’s also not done with malice. It’s done out of a desire to belong and to express the experiences we do have in common.

These are just my thoughts on it though! I’m fairly removed from any discourse these days, and I don’t have much of an LGBT+ community in my day-to-day, so it’s possible I’m way outdated here. But, for me, this is the reasoning.