#very straightforward app

[adhd-languages]

This is your sign to learn to fingerspell in your local sign language.

[bunnyinatree]

This might be an odd question, because I assume that most people already know how to do this... But how do folks listen to music on their phones?

My preferred method of listening to music on the go is to use a Tumblr audio post, because I can navigate away from the tab without the music cutting out. My backup method is to use YouTube, but I hate the ads and the inability to navigate away from the page/lock your phone mid-song.

Is there any way to download a song onto your phone so it's not dependent on wifi? For instance, I have MP3 files that I've edited using Audacity that I can open up on my computer and play, even when the internet is down. Is there something similar that allows you to listen to music on your phone, even while it's set to airplane mode?

[sisterdivinium]

I'm chill with running the event but you know what makes me nervous? Advertising it, going into the tag and posting about it, lol. The mortifying ordeal of being known, etc, etc.

Anyway, I'll post the first of a series of WN Commentfic Fest-related things later today, then something else a few days from now and, of course, the actual link to the actual event page when it starts on June 1st.

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

⋆⭒˚.⋆ Self-On Kode with Jaehyun ⋆⭒˚.⋆

idol!Jaehyun x f!famous!reader

summary: you and Jaehyun are paired up for an interview. You should know what texting your boyfriend is like, right?

(cw: f!reader, famous!reader)

"Hi," Jaehyun greets the camera, "this is the perfect opportunity to catch up on some music." He settles into the plush pink chair while he fits the headphones over his ears.

His music begins to play while you enter the set and greet the camera which prevents him from hearing who his mystery partner might be. You pop your earbuds in and explain your screen name, "I chose Cupid because I like to set my friends up and help them in their relationships."

The camera cuts to Jaehyun who stares blankly at the camera, "I choose Valentine, because I was born on Valentine's day."

You settle into the chair and make yourself comfortable while your partner for the video begins messaging you. Whoever it is is very proper, uses all the right punctuation and is straightforward. Your eyes widen at the camera, speaking through the music playing through your earbuds, "is this an old man? Am I texting someone's grandpa?"

The staff bursts out laughing and you decide to text your exact question. Jaehyun's eyes widen and he can feel his ears heat in embarrassment beneath the head phones. He texts back with a slight pout on his face, "No, I'm not a grandpa."

You text back and forth for a while, talking about your hobbies, your MBTI, and just trying to make small talk. When you make a joke he doesn't respond with any laughs or emojis, when you try to make more conversation, he responds with short answers. You lean back in your chair, with a huff, "this person is not very fun. It has to be an old man. He doesn’t get any of my jokes!”

The staff prompts you both to send a picture of your home screens. You had recently updated it knowing that you were doing the interview and you and Jaehyun liked to keep your relationship private. Yes, it was known and public, but that didn't mean you were both open to sharing every little aspect, or really any details. Maybe one day you would both be open to sharing everything, but that day was not today.

You quickly take a screenshot of your screen which happens to be a couple folders of your apps and a widget of some picture you had found on Pinterest against the background of some flowers outside your favorite cafe.

Jaehyun perks up a little bit, "I think this looks familiar. I recognize the chairs and words on the wall, even though I can't really see it. Maybe it's one of the members?"

You study the picture sent to you with your brows furrowed as you zoom in and study the apps and the picture, "this looks so familiar to me. It looks like a restaurant in Jeju I was at a few weeks ago, I could be wrong. Let me ask."

The staff struggles to muffle their laughs at yours and Jaehyun's joint confusion. Of course, the pictures looked familiar to each of you, you were together, and had been to these places together.

You continue to text back and forth for a while, finally getting somewhere when he starts to show a little more personality and send some memes in response to your texts. He seemed to be a pretty funny guy, ultimately making you decide it was not an old man you were texting, just someone more proper and maybe old-er.

When it comes time to have you both send your recent food orders, Jaehyun pouts and furrows his brows as he studies the recent orders you'd sent him. There were 3 recent orders, 2 were for 2 people, and the last one was for a larger group. The orders looked familiar, one order for pizza and the other for ramen. It was food he had recently eaten and as hard as he tried to remember he couldn't remember who he had eaten the food with. His schedule had been so packed lately, everything was jumbled up in his head. "It has to be one of my members," he decides out loud.

You study the screenshot sent by "Valentine" while biting your lip, one of the orders was what you had eaten yesterday. A small voice in the back of your head was telling you it was your boyfriend, but he told you he was doing talk shows and variety shows today. This wasn't considered either right? Does he really text like this and you’ve never noticed? Surely, you know what your own boyfriend texts like, right?

You both continue chatting and whoever it is makes you laugh pretty hard at some points when your partner says something stupid or sends a dumb meme. You laugh especially loud, choking on your spit when he sends you a drawing of what he thinks you look like.

You have tears in your eyes and warm cheeks as you stare at a poor drawing of what looks like a boy, freckles, huge eyes, big smile. Your eyes dart from the screen of your phone to the lens of the camera, “wh- he thinks I’m a boy? This doesn’t even look like a person who actually exists!”

Jaehyun on his own side bursts out laughing after zooming in and looking at every detail of the picture, “there are wrinkles on this drawings face. And it’s bald. He thinks I’m an old man, so weird.”

As the time winds to an end you look at the staff behind the camera, somewhat shocked and saddened by the end. "Time flew by!" you scrunch up your face as you think, "I don't think I have a really good read on who it is. I think it's a man that's older than me and probably someone in the music industry since he related to so much. Maybe he's a dancer or producer of some kind."

On the other side Jaehyun is set on who he thinks it is, "it's one of my members, I know it. I think it's Jungwoo or Haechan."

You both stand and turn to face your partners. Upon catching sight of Jaehyun, you immediately scream and run behind the set laughing while screaming, "you told me you had variety shows today! Go home!"

Jaehyun bursts out laughing, hunched over as his cheeks flush, "you didn't tell me either! Get back here!"

Your voice comes out loudly paired with your surprised and embarrassed laughter, "No! I'm so humilated!"

The staff manages to get you both together for the ending conversation. The cameras start filming and you smack Jaehyun's forearm lightly, "you are a horrible texter."

"What did I even say?" He laughs in shock.

"I never realized how boring you are through words, you text like an old man."

Jaehyun answers the staff as they ask how you both possible couldn't pick up on each other through the texts. Jaehyun looks at the camera while he answers, his hand holding yours beneath the tall table, "I think texting is so boring and annoying. We call each other or video call. If we open our messages we use voice notes, we very rarely actually text each other.

You squeeze his hand under the table, eyeing him with a mischievous look, “who did you think I was? You thought I was a boy, who did you have in mind?”

Jaehyun rubs his free hand over his face, already regretting his guess, “before I tell you, you have to understand my thinking. Jeno and Chenle did one of these interviews together so I just figured it could be another member. I thought you were Jungwoo or Haechan.”

You guffaw, a shocked laugh leaving you as you pull your phone out and pull up the drawing he had sent you, “this is what Jungwoo or Haechan look like to you?”

“I’m not an artist! Well, not that kind of artist, but I think it’s pretty good. I even added teeth in the smile.”

“Babe, that’s creepy.”

“Who knew you were such an art critic all of a sudden?” He playfully asks with a bobble of his head.

The staff subtly tell you both to wrap it up, reminding you to take a selfie before ending the video. You catch the cues and smile at Jaehyun, “we’ve been together for a while now but I feel like I learned a lot about you today. You text like an old man, you can’t draw, and you have a horrible memory.”

“Hey! You didn’t know who I was either! The food orders didn’t give anything away?”

“We’re talking about this later,” you decide to reply as you lift your phone to take a selfie.

“Wait, lift it to this angle,” Jaehyun instructs as he gently moves your arm.

“Wow, so bossy,” you mumble jokingly as you snap the picture.

The screen goes black with the selfie of you and Jaehyun with matching bright smiles on your faces as yours and Jaehyun’s laugh transition into the ending of the video.

[dragonnarrative-writes]

Transferrable Skills Part 2

Transferrable Skills Masterlist

You don’t often use your MyFet beyond finding a group or conference to attend. You periodically clear out your messages, just in case an acquaintance wants to reach out. So you almost delete the message from the anonymous profile on autopilot, but the subject line intrigues you.

Interested in Distance Play, No Punishments - 14 Hrs Ago

Intrigued, you open it because… at least they read a little bit of your profile.

I noticed your profile because of your self-rope pictures. The rest of your profile is very interesting to me - specifically your engagement in solo play and dislike of punishment. I liked the post you made about obedience as an ongoing active choice.

I’m a man in my 30s with a classified job. I travel a lot, and I’m looking for someone to have a strictly long-distance arrangement with. I’m interested in: non-restrictive rope, obedience, behavior modification, praise. I’m sure there’s more, but I’ve written this message six times. Please let me know if you’re interested in discussing.

Well, that’s refreshingly straightforward and devoid of unsolicited smut. You read the message again, then click into his profile. G_987654321_ It’s… pretty bare. But if he’s got a classified job, that makes sense, right? Location: Antarctica. His age is listed as 33, and he’s listed himself as dominant and seeking acquaintances and play partners. Not interested in hookups, interested in casual nudity, obedience, praise. Hard limits of degradation and humiliation.

It’s not much more information than the message itself, but it’s more than some of the men who have asked if you want to meet up in private. You review his original message and bite your knuckle. Worst case scenario, he’s some troll who will call you a range of slurs and waste your time, and then you’ll block him. Best case scenario… he means what he says.

What are you looking for? Who, What, When, Where, and Why?

You send the message and log out of the app before you can chicken out. Your inner voice is grumbling (stupid stupid stupid), but that’s normal. You let yourself watch two and a half episodes of your latest show, and then make a hearty dinner.

You’re surprised when you pick your phone back up. One new message.

The whole time you’re cursing the app for glitching and logging you out and forgetting your password, you’re sure it’s not him. Most likely, it’s an event announcement from a friend or a bot. But you like going to events, so it’s worth it.

It’s a message. It’s from him.

Who: You and Me What: Praise-based, goal-oriented obedience play When: Twice weekly when we’re both available, but I won’t always be available. Sometimes weekly, sometimes a greater time between meet ups. Where: Virtual meetings. Video preferred, audio-only acceptable. First couple of discussions will be text based until I can get secure video set up. Why: Mutual relaxation and well being. Sexual connection preferred, but obviously not required.

Having a guide was helpful. Thank you.

Well… That’s something.

—

You follow Simon towards the fighting, which is not where you wanted to go. When you point this out, he barely acknowledges except to say “You don’t want to go the other way.” So you keep low and stay quiet and breathe like he told you to.

He leads you down a few halls and you don’t bother trying to remember the route. He seems to know where he’s going. One or twice he has you stop while he checks around a corner, but eventually, he herds you into a small conference room. You freeze when you see three men, but Simon drops the muzzle of his gun to the floor, so you must not be in too much danger.

“Who’s this then?” A man in tactical vest and boonie hat steps forward, and you sidle behind Simon before you know your feet are moving. He gives you a considering look before looking to Simon.

The man in question fishes you out from behind his and plants you in front of him with a heavy hand on your shoulder. “Found Bambi wandering the halls.”

Boonie Hat’s eyebrows pop up. “Bambi?”

“’Bout scared the piss out o’me,” Simon confirms.

“Well, that throws a wrench in things,” the other man says. “But there’s nothing for it. Stow her for now, we’ll keep her safe.”

Simon’s hand guides you to the other side of the large table and pushes you gently into a plush rolling chair. He puts his huge body between you and the others, who look at you curiously,

“Eyes up, li’l fawn,” he intones.

You aren’t sure how well you hide the flinch when you see the skull covering his face, again. He’s quiet as you look between his eyes, clasps his gloved hands in his lap so you can see them when you look over him.

There’s a lot of him to look over.

Now that you’re not moving, you can see the brown spots on the edge of his mask, flecked on his tactical vest. His thighs spread a bit beneath his black pants where they meet the table. His biceps bulge, which is a whole different experience in person than it is online. Theres a gun on his hip, and a knife. Two knives. Three. How many knives does a man need?

Enough for everyone’s throats. You have to bite back terrified giggles.

“You’re gonna stay ‘ere,” Simon tells you, interrupting your musing. Your horror must be plain on your face because he shushes you, again. “Shhh. Easy. This wing’s secure. Can’t keep you safe if I’m wonderin’ where you’ve wandered to. Acknowledge.”

“What if something goes wrong?” you blurt.

“You follow Price if you can't see or ‘ear me. ‘e's the Captain, outranks me,” Simon answers. He points to Boonie Hat, then to the black man, who smiles at you, and a white man with a mohawk, who looks at you like you’re the most fascinating thing he’s seen all day. “This is Gaz, that's Soap. You can't find the Captain, you sit tight and wait for one of them to retrieve you."

“But-!”

“Acknowledge, Bambi.”

You swallow back tears. “Please don’t leave me alone.”

“’M goin’ where the guns are,” he answers. “’S my job to take care of you, right? Acknowledge.”

It’s hard to get the words out, but you do. “Acknowledged. You have to take care of me.”

“’M not always going to be able to do that the way you want. Acknowledge.”

“Acknowledged. Not always the way I want.”

“’M gonna keep you safe as I can,” he says. “’Nd it’s okay that you’re scared. But this is my job. ‘S not a scene. So I can’t negotiate. Acknowledge.”

“It’s your job,” you say, taking a deep breath and letting it out. Unfortunately, you can feel the day catching up with you, and your eyes start to prickle. “It’s not a scene, we can’t negotiate right now. Acknowledged.”

The one called Gaz approaches from the other side of the table. “Ghost, we’ve got to get moving.”

Before you can integrate the realization that Simon is apparently called Ghost, the other one, Soap, peeks around Simon’s shoulder with a raised eyebrow. “This your bird, LT? Le’s get her tucked away, aye?”

Something about the way he asks if you are Simon’s bird, his girl, flips a switch in your brain. Because you’re not Simon’s girl. You’re not even supposed to have ever met in person. You’re an online sub, a weird, awkward, anxious person who couldn’t find an in person connection. And yeah, Simon-Also-Called-Ghost is an online Dom but apparently that’s because he’s running around Europe rescuing people from hostage situations!

It’s a little much.

You suck in a breath through your mouth as everything gets blurry with tears. Your whole body shakes with the sob that you try not to let out. You simultaneously want to lock every muscle in place and curl up on the ground to die.

A hiccup shakes you hard enough that you almost fall out of your chair.

Simon’s gloved hand grips the back of your head, and you’re guided to press your forehead against his thigh.

"Shhhhh," he whispers, and you can almost pretend that you’re listening to him in your ear from thousands of miles away. His pants are tough and scratchy, nothing like your pillow, but the steady pressure of his hand is so steadying. "It's okay. I know this isn't a scene, but the same rules apply. You feel overwhelmed, don’t know what to say, you hold up 4 fingers. No punishments for feeling something. Show me."

Holding up 4 fingers feels familiar. The way his hand cups the back of your skull doesn't. But it's still nice.

Sooner than you’d like, Simon guides you down off the chair and under the table. You can’t pay attention to the others, though you can see their boots on the other side of the room. Instead, you keep your eyes on his his right hand, stuck on the inane detail of skeleton themed gloves. Your dom wears skeleton gear to work. His work is killing some people and saving others.

That hand cups your chin and makes you look up into his face. His eyes are dark, piercing. His voice, when he speaks, sends shiver down your spine. “Stay. Acknowledge.”

You’re already about as low down as you can get, but you still duck your head as much as you can while keeping eye contact. “Acknowledged. Stay.”

His thumb caresses your cheek for a long moment. And then he’s standing. Chairs are pushed in to surround you, and four pairs of heavy boots dash from the room.

You curl up, hug yourself, and let the tears fall.

You wake up with a start. Your whole body hurts, shoulder and neck and hips tight like they haven’t been in a long time. And of course they are. You’re on the ground, lying under a conference table. Why the hell are you under a conference table? You’re not in college anymore, you’re too old for this shit.

And then you see a pair of huge boots round the edge of the table and remember.

Your heart is in your throat as two chairs are shifted away and a huge form drops into a crouch. A part of you flinches back from the mask, the tactical clothing, the blood you almost can’t see shining on his boot. But then you see those eyes and think, Oh. You came back for me.

[astonmartingf]

FALLING FOR YOU ; MV1

max verstappen x reader

. . . in his own little way, max finds the solutions to his problems not without a little help from his friends and ends up giving you the confession of a lifetime

amgf yeah... there's this, just fluff. i won't be as active this week because of exams and research but this is prime time of my impulsive ideas so either i can milk this opportunity to write every single day, or avoid this app for the remainder of the week. enjoy 👍

Max strives for stability. 

He enjoys the same routine that consists of jogging at eight am, early morning workout by nine am, brunch, a few rounds of sim racing, stopping by for a few phone calls and online meetings. If he isn’t expected to fly anywhere else he’d have his usual afternoon snack, play with his cats, more sim racing from six to eight pm, dinner with his team, reviewing data and notes, an hour for his own leisure— mostly sim racing, before heading to bed at one am.

Whatever happens in between is usually one of Lando’s plans in an attempt to spice things up in his life. Whether it’s going to the movies, buying ice cream at the convenience store down the street, or playing padel. Max is very much thankful for his friends.

Max also strives for the best.

He takes pride in his skills in racing and acknowledges his talent, and flaws. Honing them like a sharp knife through whetstones, he polishes himself and cuts through the defenses of the grid. He is a World Champion for a reason, and with a great car and team behind him, he knows they’ll get far. Max is very much thankful for the trust his team set upon him.

Max hates uncertainty. 

Well- hate is too strong of a word and dislike would be too weak for his opinions. 

Max despises uncertainty.

Especially when there’s you- the current root of all his “problems”. Despite his tendency to be blunt and straightforward statements, uncertainty always left a distasteful feeling in his mouth. 

Realizing that his wavering feelings for you have now shattered the routine he built to perfection. Long gone are sleeping on time and hello to staying up with you crowding his thoughts. Head full of the lingering scent of your perfume and the same voice playing in his head.

Max hated it. He despised how you orbit around his mind, bouncing through the walls of the gray matter inside his skull. He often catches himself smiling at the thought of you- before a bitter scowl fills his face and an incredulous and slightly constipated look pasted on his face.

But that was the least of his worries, such feelings could be fixed (a term he used to convince himself these are temporary). It’s not that Max doesn’t believe in relationships or think it’s nothing but a distraction, deep inside he’s aware that he craves affection. It’s the vague emotions clouding his heart making him think twice.

Then again, Max is thankful for his friends. 

“What did you say?” Lando squinted his eyes in the hopes to hear his words clearly. With a blank look- almost as if he put on a mask void of emotions Max spoke once more.

“Do I like YN?” 

The rest tilted their head to the side, in confusion. “D-did you perhaps ask us. . . if- if you like someone?” George, asked once more to make sure of his words, sighing in disbelief.

“It’s not just someone, it’s YN.” Max pushed the question once more and glanced at everyone on the table.

The silence was deafening. Max’ statement was too loud and too quiet at the same time, no one spoke and they left each other contemplating on the next words he will say.

“I need help. How do I know I like YN?” Collective gasps were heard throughout and one by one they slowly left the group of friends on the table leaving Max with Lando and George.

“How about we sleep over your question and. . .think— think about it you know?” Lando, the first to talk regarding the revelation that their stoic friend has now developed feelings for someone.

“Sleep? I hardly get any sleep these nights. I want to confirm my feelings now so I can finally sleep peacefully.” 

That’s when the pair noticed the bags under his eyes, mostly due to the lack of sleep like he said. Lando took a glance at George and started to talk telepathically at each other.

George sighs before pushing Max from his seat, “You see Max these feelings can’t be confirmed in a night, these requ-”

“It’s been weeks, George, I can’t lose sleep over such a trivial matter.” Max retorted with a firm stance using his lack of sleep as a front to confirm his feelings.

“Okay, first of all feelings are not a trivial matter. They are valid, and whatever is going on in your head about YN shouldn’t be taken lightly. Not because we’re curious but because we care about your emotional well being.” Lando spoke in a serious voice which only added on to Max’ confusion.

Feelings are not a big deal, at least not for him.

“And we're curious as to why you like YN.” George chimed as he followed the pair outside the room.

“Yes we’re curious but now how about I give you some romance books that you can study and read. Only you can confirm your feelings Max, let’s stop by my room and I’ll give you books you can read and next week- next week we’ll talk about this matter again.”

Lando now sounds like a mom scolding his child for misbehaving, dragging the latter to his room and sending him off with a tower of romance books.

Max is smart, he can understand such concepts by himself.

Feeling accomplished, Lando glanced at George smirking at him before walking away with Max to his apartment.

Max on the other hand went inside his room and began to bury himself in the books he brought along. “If I’m not sleeping at least I get my feelings in line.”

One chapter. And another turns to five and in the blink of an eye a week has passed. Max returned to his routine but instead of sleeping at one he pushed it to an even later hour to make time for reading which helped him sleep.

The first nights were hard, after finishing a chapter of the book he finds himself falling asleep and now you appear to become more vivid in his mind. Invading his dreams as romantic scenarios play on repeat while Max mindlessly sleeps which results in him waking up flustered and warm.

Passing by you on the paddock became frequent; it's as if the universe has its way to bring you together. Now everywhere Max looked there was you, in the corner of his sight you occupied a chunk of his thoughts and as much as he hated to admit he found himself anticipating your presence.

By the end of the week you managed to invade his thoughts and heart which only strengthened his theory and confirmed his feelings for you. With no time to waste, Max went to look for you. The second practice was over, he’s telling you what you’re doing to him.

With new found information from the team about your whereabouts, Max made his way to the hospitality locating where you’re assigned he opens the door abruptly to see you preparing food. You stand straight feeling the intimidating aura around him, you watch him exhale a sigh of relief before talking a large step in your direction. On instinct you back away giving him space, every step Max takes is a step backward from you.

Unknowingly your feet hit the corner of the marble countertop and like a cliché scene Max remembers from the books he’s been reading you stumble backwards.

Max is a racer for a reason, and with swift reflexes he managed to catch your fall and brought you up to your feet. “You should watch where you’re going. I don’t want you falling just like how I fell for you.”

Silence. Complete, utter silence from the both of you paired with the low buzz of the booming air conditioner right near you. You blink your eyes incredulously, “What?”

“I mean. . . I do want you to fall for me, it would be sad to find out that my feelings are one-sided. But I mean my words YN.”

You adjust your posture and back away. “What are the words Max? About me falling to the ground or you. . . you f- falling for me?” Your voice thins out at the end unsure of what you just heard.

“Both. I don’t want you to fall, it’s dangerous just like how you did to me. You enamored me with those charms, I just want to know how you did it.” Max spoke with the most bored and plain looking face he could muster up. His palms were sweating inside his pockets in extreme nervousness.

“Is this- is this your confession perhaps?” You try to piece things together, like the subtle clues Lando and George have been leaving out of nowhere.

“Yes. This is my confession.” Max blurts out as sweat drips from the side of his forehead. And just as he was losing hope from this failed confession your bubbly laugh bursts the silence in the air.

“You know, you need to work on your confession more. That was unlike any other, but I understand what you mean. Do you want me to fall for you, Maxie?” 

Max stares at you and you don't miss the soft gaze he set upon you. You note the light blush spread around the apples of his cheeks as his eyes light up the moment you called his name. The once awkward silent air was now filled with a warm feeling that spread all over your body, leaving goosebumps all over your skin.

“I do. I fell for you, I like you, and I want to mean something to you.”

His way with words caught you off guard, Max Verstappen, who would’ve thought. You smile at him, this time it’s you walking towards his direction.

Max stiffened at the proximity between the two of you, his feet stuck to the floor preventing him from backing away. Your face gets closer to his and all the thoughts clouding his mind have been wiped away.

You face him and whisper something in his ear before walking away towards the kitchen at the back, legs shaking and breaths heavy. 

Taking a moment to himself Max meditates in an attempt to calm his bouncing heart, legs shaking as if they ran a hundred miles, and his mind whirring into different ideas and possibilities.

Max never falls- literally and figuratively.

Yet you managed to be the root of all his problems. The person who made him fall, there was no doubt that Max fell and will still be falling for you.

[datinghotgranny]

Avoid These Dating Mistakes: Tips for Senior Men

Dating later in life can be exciting, but avoiding common mistakes can make the experience even better. Here are some easy tips to help you connect with your date and leave a good impression.

1. Talk and Listen, Don't Dominate the Conversation

Good conversations go both ways. Ask your date about her life, interests, and thoughts, and really listen to her answers. Show that you care about what she's saying by making eye contact and leaning forward slightly. Don't stare too much, as it can feel awkward. Let her decide if she wants to touch your hand or shoulder first—don't rush or push for physical contact.

2. Don't Mention Sex Early On

Avoid talking about anything sexual during the first few dates. Focus on getting to know each other and keep the conversation relaxed and natural.

3. Move On If She Just Wants to Be Friends

If your date sees you as just a friend, it's okay. It probably means she's not romantically interested, and that's normal. Dating apps can make things clearer since both people are usually looking for the same thing. Apps also let you meet new people you wouldn't normally connect with.

4. Be Honest and Respectful

Treat your date with kindness and respect. Don't rush things or push for a specific outcome. When you're genuine and sincere, she'll feel more comfortable and may respond positively to you.

5. Attraction Is About More Than Looks

While looks can help, what matters most is your personality and attitude. Women are often drawn to confident, respectful, and motivated men. Stay active, take care of your health, and pursue hobbies or passions that make you happy. A positive outlook on life is very attractive.

6. Handle Rejection Gracefully

If she says no to a date or doesn't feel a connection, don't take it personally or try to convince her otherwise. Be polite and let it go. On a first date, it's thoughtful to pay the bill, but there's no need to spend a lot—keep it simple.

Keep It Simple and Genuine

The key to successful dating is to be yourself, show respect, and stay open-minded. By focusing on the other person's feelings and keeping things straightforward, you can enjoy the process and create meaningful connections.

[2-dsimp]

So, I discovered your blog courtesy of Nokka, and as someone who is one hundred percent a nerdy homebody that doesn’t like going out unless it’s for very very specific reasons- (Aka. Once every six or so months to hit up the mall for the stuff I can’t get online or when my bestie is in town and I wanna catch up with them. Or work.) I am ok with being a house wifie!

That said, I was wondering about boundary setting with Nokka. Could him and his Darling sit down and have a conversation if something was bothering each other? Or better yet, if Darling was just not in the mood for a roll in the hay one night and just wanted cuddles, would Nokka be ok with that?

Sorry if this is a silly question or has already been answered somewhere! I hope you have a good day!

Cw: wifey reader! Suggestive, Sexism, controlling behavior

Boundary setting with your yandere husband! Can be very easy and difficult at the same time. It really depends on the conversation being had. He’s a very direct and straightforward man who doesn’t beat around the bush. As he made it clear that you’re not to be anything other than his stay at home wife.

1. You can’t have a job.

2. You can’t take any form of birth control. Unless he allows it.

3. You can’t have a normal social life/stay out late with friends(who of course have to be female only)

4. You can’t go outside alone without him beside you, (unless your doing menial tasks like grocery shopping/stocking up on house supplies).

Though Nokka would still be defensive about letting you leave the house. Since he’d argue that he could just order grocery delivery on his app. So you’d literally have to butter him up enough to let you go outside.

Overall you’re not allowed to do most things an independent women would be able to do under his jurisdiction. He expects you to clean, cook, and take care of his sexual needs. As a woman should for her husband.

If his wife anit feeling well enough for him to breed then he’d gladly opt for cuddles. At the end of the day his wife is his priority. However, if you ever turn him on even if it’s by accident. He’d think you’re messing with him, blaming it all on you. As he proceeds to fuck you outta commission for being a so called tease.

[mylifestylearedilfs]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ joost klein x tinder date!reader ࿐ྂ

ੈ✩‧₊˚ OCEAN EYES : mention of sex (but no smut) fluff ; use of alcohol ; imagine ; all is fictional ; english is not my first language

(part two)

, , ,

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ CREATING AN ACCOUNT on tinder wasn’t on your to do list, but after another failed attempt on meet your future ‘husband’ in real life, you decided to seek luck at this app. after choosing your best pictures, you set your profile with hope that you wouldn’t have to text with all of those weirdos that probably were on this site, asking themselves why i don’t have girlfriend?

you honestly couldn’t understand people (mostly the whole alfa men) on this kind of platforms, where they acted like they’re better than everyone else, but in reality they wouldn’t even say ‘hi’ to you. also what’s the point of having a dating app, if you can’t even properly ask the other person to date. you personally hated texting, it was the worst way to communicate, because you weren’t able to show your emotions clearly and it was easier to misunderstand the intentions.

you tried to ignore all suspicious looking people, but you lose hope, when even people your type were weird or impolite towards you. you were close to just delete app and forget about everything that happened. but then you received some kind of ‘super like’ from very good looking blonde man, the first thing that caught your attention was his bright blue eyes. how ironic, you thought. blonde hair and blue eyes, if he were a girl, he definitely would be miss universe. but god knew that he would be too powerful if he was a woman.

before you even checked his profile, you saw that he already messaged you. he already had big plus, because it was usually you who needed to start a conversation.

‘you & me, beer in an hour?’ okay, he definitely was really straightforward but you couldn’t tell that you didn’t liked it.

‘okay’

it was an irresponsible decision, but you couldn’t care less right now. you were truly tried of the endless conversations about nothing, you needed some adrenaline in your life. and even if it turn out that he’s a murderer, you will have an interesting story to tell your future kids — of course if you will survive in that scenario.

, , ,

it was almost twenty minutes after the set time, but you still waited like a fool, because you were curious if you were just scammed at this point. when your second cigarette started to slowly gutter out, you checked your phone to see if he tried to inform you about his lateness, but as you thought — nothing. you were honestly irritated that you couldn’t met a proper guy, not even for a relationship but just good sex, apparently you just missed to have someone close, in physical and mental way.

fuck it. you said to yourself and deleted this stupid dating app, right after you did that, you heard someone’s calling your name. before you turned around, you throw out a cigarette.

“i get it that i’m late, but you don’t have to ignore me” you saw the blonde guy in front of you, with two bottles of wine in his hands and two beer cans in his jeans pockets.

“so your real miss universe, nice to meet you” you said with a bit of irony in your voice, and he just laughed, giving you bootle of alcohol.

“or maybe i’m just in your imagination, guess we will never know” he said with smile, and you realised that he loved to laugh a lot, but honestly that was exactly what you needed now. some positive energy. “but now let’s go, shall we?”

, , ,

at first it was supposed to be quick meeting to get each other better and then probably forget about the existence of each other. but to your surprise it turned out that you were sitting in some sketchy looking place with joost for almost four hours already, and the fun only began.

you couldn’t believe that your perfect type of person was right in front of you and he was interested in you, which was the most unbelievable part. he was the first person that could make you laugh only by saying something random, or maybe it was because you were under the influence of weed, that you just smoked. either way his ability to turn every little thing into a joke was hilarious and you simply loved it.

suddenly you both became silent, but it wasn’t uncomfortable for you, which was also something new. all you could hear was the sound of wind and some other birds but you decided to interrupt the silence.

“you want to come to my place?” you said without thinking twice, well. . . let’s be honest your brain wasn’t working at all at the moment.

“to do what?” he looked at you with his typical smirk, sipping his beer.

“obviously to play monopoly” you said sarcastically, but underneath you had a little smile. “i want you to fuck me” you added and he seemed to be taken aback with your directness, as he watched you getting up.

“so you’re coming or i will need to please myself on my own?” you said, walking slowly in the direction of your house.

“you don’t need to tell me twice” he quickly said and you just chuckled as you felt his hands on your waist.

that was a great match, for sure.

, , ,

⇢ ˗ˏˋ thank you for attention! hope you liked it!

[jiraisupportgroup]

First of all - I'd like to note that this post is not intended to pressure anyone to change or to make people feel ashamed for the position they are in in life. I feel like a lot of people don't understand that being in this position is not often a choice. A majority of the time there are mental illnesses or chronic physical illnesses which lead someone to this point. It isn't like they're just hanging out at home all day having a blast - it is emotionally and physically taxing to be in this position, and it can be incredibly hard to break out. Not impossible!! Just very hard.

It is not as simple as "just go outside" "just get a job" etc; that kind of advice is not helpful. This post is mostly aimed at people who want to make some sort of change in their routine. Again, if you don't want to change or don't feel a need to - I'm not here to pressure you into changing your life or to tell you you are wrong for living this way - you're not, you're okay I promise. More so this is for people who are thinking about changing things up or adding a little more structure to their life.

Keep in mind - there is no shame in this. If you're looking at your daily log of activities and it isn't what you want it to be that is okay! Don't beat yourself up or be down on yourself for not being perfect or not being where you want to be. This is just so we can identify trends in our behaviours and more clearly see the things we want to cut back on or the things we want to add to our daily / weekly routines.

Try to keep this in a place where it is easy to keep track of. I typically recommend something digital like a notes app on the phone or a google document since you can access that from a computer or your phone - that way it's much easier to just pop in and write a simple note like "10am - had a bagel for breakfast", or a little pocket notebook that you can keep on your person. Make it as easy for yourself as possible.

It can also help to add little notes about how certain activities make you feel or your general mood throughout the day. This doesn't have to be extensive, but something like "Took a shower, feel refreshed but exhausted", or "2-4pm scrolling TikTok, I don't feel anything, I'm a little irritated". Keeping in mind how certain activities make you feel is a good step in identifying how different things affect your mental health and overall energy / stress levels. This can also help us start to see some of the underlying reasons for some of your behaviours. If you start to see why you do or don't like doing certain things, you can have a better understanding of yourself and how you can go about changing certain habits.

For example if you absolutely 100% detest doing the dishes, the feeling, the smell, how long it takes, etc, it isn't going to be very helpful to have a "just do it" approach to building the habit. It will become much easier if we also adopt other things into this such as having a dish-washing chair, a special soap, or gloves to make the process more bearable before throwing yourself head-first into it.

Some goals are easier to identify than others. For example "I want to brush my teeth every night" is a pretty identifiable goal and the steps you need to take to achieve that goal are pretty straightforward. Other goals like "I want to feel more productive" or "I want to have more energy" are vague and difficult to achieve in themsevles, so we need to break them down.

What does each goal mean to you? What does "being more productive" mean? Does it mean keeping your room clean? Creating a physical product or hobby? Achieving smaller goals throughout the day? Exercising more? Trading social media for something like a book? Learning something new? What smaller aspect of this larger idea stands out to you? Once it is broken into parts it's much easier to work on one aspect at a time instead of just trying to change everything overnight.

Other goals seem like too much, like "I want to be able to go to the grocery store by myself". That's an easily identifiable goal, but it's a BIG goal. There are likely steps you'll have to take to work up to this goal, and those steps are heavily tied to the reasons why you don't like going to the grocery store in the first place. If the crowds make you anxious - going out with friends or family to less crowded places, or going to the grocery store at less busy times of day could help. If the food items stress you out - going out to places like office supply stores that don't carry food items or going to the store without the intent of buying anything just to walk around and get used to it might be helpful. Some stores like Kroger, Ingles, or Target often have little coffee shops in them - maybe going to one of these with friends just to get a snack and hang out can help expose you to the idea of the store itself without the pressure of having to pick out what you're buying or the pressure of interacting with the cashier so you don't have to tackle it all at once. Or if you typically get groceries delivered to your house, maybe you could do a purchase online pick up in-store thing one day - you don't have to spend much time in the actual store, and you don't have to pick items out while you're there, but it'll get you to the actual store and then you can just go home right afterwards. Try to find ways to get slowly closer and closer to your final goal without throwing yourself headfirst into it. (One thing I will say specifically about going to the grocery store is try to avoid planning out exactly what you're going to purchase beforehand - I used to do this and I would end up crying in the middle of the store if they didn't have the exact bread they wanted, it backfired on me more than once T-T so do that at your own risk).

Write out as many or as few goals as you can think of. These are long-term goals, so if your list feels really long don't worry! You don't have to do all of this at once! In fact, I implore you not to try and do too many of these things at once! Try not to get overwhelmed if it feels like a lot - you've got time, this is not a once-and-done kind of thing, we're going to take it slow and try to be reasonable with ourselves and our expectations of ourselves.

But how do you pick a goal? There's a lot of ways you could do this. Some people like to try and go for the one that seems the hardest first - I've never really had luck with this I usually just give up when I feel like it's too hard. Some people try to pick the one that seems the easiest to ease themselves into it - this is always nice because it can help you feel like you're actually making progress and changing things. Some people pick ones that overlap. Like if you want to spend less time on social media and more time doing a hobby like knitting - you can combine those two goals into "trade social media time for knitting" to kind of tackle two things at once. Try not to combine too many things together - we do still want these goals to be small and separate from each other - but smaller ones like that it is okay to and makes sense to combine together.

So! You've picked a goal to work towards! Yay! How do we do that? It depends on the goal you've picked. If it's something physical like showering, brushing your teeth, vacuuming, doing the dishes, going for a walk, or cooking dinner, it's a little easier to track. Setting reminders or keeping a log of when you do these things can help, some people like having weekly or daily checklists to keep track of what has been done and when. Try to avoid putting too many things on the checklist - we don't want to overwhelm ourselves, remember we're just working on one thing right now.

For others, picking a certain day of the week or time of day to do these things can help as well. Having a set time or day for certain activities can help set the routine of doing them, and also makes it a little easier to keep track of when they are done. If you miss these days or times don't beat yourself up! Try to avoid the feeling of "oh well I was supposed to shower at 7pm and now it's 10pm so I missed my opportunity" you can deviate from the timeframes you set for yourself they're just a guide. But over time if you decide you're going to brush your teeth at 9pm every night, after a month or two you'll start being like "oh it's 9pm I'm going to go brush my teeth" it becomes a second-hand habit that you don't have to think about too hard after a few months.

If it is a more nebulous or vague goal, we might want to make a roadmap. Like if your end goal is "I want to be able to keep my room clean consistently" there's a lot that goes into that. Often that includes dishes, taking the trash out, doing laundry, folding the laundry, vacuuming, etc. Trying to take all of that on at once can be really overwhelming! Start small. Let's say, maybe every other night you want to take the dishes from your room to the kitchen. Just focus on that. Or maybe you want to make your bed every day. Or maybe you want to do your laundry once a week. Pick one aspect to focus on for a while, and slowly build on that. After about 2 weeks of taking your dishes to the kitchen every other night, maybe you can add washing them into that. Or after doing your laundry once a week for about a month, you can add folding it into that. If you ease yourself into it, it gets much easier to actually build these habits and not super overwhelm yourself right off the bat. And if you miss a day, that's okay! I'm not expecting you to set a goal and then immediately be able to do it all the time, and you shouldn't expect that of yourself either. Go easy on yourself. Slow progress is still progress. Maybe you're not making your bed every day, but making it once or twice a week is still progress! And over time that once or twice a week will evolve into three or four times a week. And it'll just keep going from there.

On the other hand, if you're trying to STOP doing something as much - the approach is often a little different. Some people like to use timers or notes to show when they last did something so they can see how long it's been or notice changes in whether they're doing it more or less frequently. If it's something like trying to cut back on social media you can set time limits on your phone for how long you're allowed to use each app. These are easy enough to bypass but often times having that reminder of "Hey it's been 15 minutes your time limit is up" can be a reminder to yourself that you want to be more mindful of how long you're spending on these apps, even if you just extend the time limit when it pops up.

Set up alternatives for yourself! It's really hard to say "oh I just won't do that anymore", give yourself something else to do instead. If you want to spend less time on social media, you might instead spend more time reading, drawing, or even playing video games. (Trading social media for video games is a healthy trade I will die on this hill - I don't care how many articles you've seen saying they're just as bad as each other I promise you Persona 5 is not as bad as Twitter for your mental health). If you want to stop smoking, instead have gums, lollipops or a drink you enjoy; or practice breathing techniques when you want to smoke; or if you vape try switching to a lower concentration juice (I'm also trying to stop smoking so I feel you on this it's a tough one). If you're trying to stop SH, have other things like ice cubes, rubber bands, pens, or something that will give you a physical sensation without causing harm (or as much harm). Work with yourself, identify what you're getting from each of these things, and try to make a trade for something that is a little better for you but still gives you some of that thing that you want. Don't beat yourself up if you do still engage in these habits, it is hard to stop. Instead of punishing yourself for still doing these things, praise yourself for doing them less often. (And if you're not doing them less often, praise yourself for being aware of your habits in the first place).

The hardest thing about this whole process is getting the motivation to start. Once you get started it's much easier to keep it going, but that first push to get the ball rolling is the hardest part. For a lot of things you can't wait until you feel like doing it - often that won't come. There are different ways people motivate themselves to do things they don't want to do. Ease yourself into it, don't do everything at once do the first step of the process and then take a little break. For example, if you're folding the laundry, separate it into categories then take a little break. When you come back fold one category, then take a break. Then do the next category. Over time the laundry will be all folded! Set a timer, think about how much time you could reasonably spend doing something. Let's say 10 minutes. Set a timer for 10 minutes, then start whatever task it is you want to do. If you want to clean your room maybe set a timer for 10 minutes and spend that time picking up trash. After those 10 minutes are up you're done. You can come back to more of it later. Often times you'll find that you're able to finish a lot of tasks faster than you thought you'd be able to, and if they're not finished oftentimes times you're more inclined to keep going once those 10 minutes are up since you've already started the ball rolling. Some people use a sort of "rip the bandaid off" technique where they set an alarm to go do something and as soon as that alarm goes off they just force themselves do it. This is hard at first but it does become easier. Think of it like you're jumping into a pool. 3...2...1... GO! Often that initial push to just start walking to go to the thing you want to do is the hardest, and once you're moving it becomes easier.

Tell a friend you're going to do it. Sometimes this helps you feel more motivated to do it since you're giving yourself a little bit of outside pressure to complete the task. On this note, weirdly enough, stretching can help you get motivated to do harder tasks. Like if you want to take the trash out but you're laying in bed, stretching in bed just to get your blood moving can sometimes help you get that initial push to get up and take the trash out.

Work with yourself. Try different approaches, and celebrate your successes no matter how small they may seem. Over time you will find things do get easier, and after tackling one small goal for a month or two, you can add another small goal into the mix.

Some popular app recommendations (I'm so sorry this list is so short - hoping to add to it in the future)

IAmSober - Andriod and IOS - allows you to set multiple goals of things you want to stop doing and shows you timers for how long it's been since you last engaged in that habit.

Flora - Google Play, IOS, and Chrome Extension - sets a timer for how long you don't want to use your phone or computer, once you finish this timer without using your device it grows a tree, and adds that tree to your garden. I used to use this for studying back in college and I quite enjoyed it.

HabitShare - Android, Google Play, and IOS - set habits and keep track of when you've completed them, you can also link with friends to see each other's habits too (although, this is optional you can also keep it private).

These are the best-rated free apps I could find for this kind of thing, if there are others that you use or have used in the past please feel free to comment or rb I would love to be able to add to this list.

Thank you so much for reading! I hope this can be at least a little helpful and I hope it doesn't come off as a "just do it" kind of vibe. I know getting the motivation to start building new or breaking old habits is realllllly hard so hopefully, this is at least a bit helpful T-T

As always, I love you guys and I'm proud of you for being here and doing what you can ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ please feel free to comment or send in any questions, comments, concerns, additions, or anything of that sort ~ ♡

[kewrnage]

𖤐 𝗦𝗬𝗟𝗨𝗦 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗔 𝗧𝗢𝗠𝗕𝗢𝗬 𝗦/𝗢

⌗ ꒰ sylus x f! reader ꒱ ; non-mc reader ; headcanons ; love and deepspace. sfw. fluff.

⌗ ꒰ a/n ꒱ ; had this idea during my long ass med-surg class yesterday, also because i haven't seen a hc with the li's that's remotely close to my slightly tomboyish preferences (but this hc is full-blown haha). with only minor alterations today. it's pretty straightforward since it's a headcanon (and i didn't get help from grammarly cuz too i'm lazy for it lmaoo) but fuck i think I might write like this more in the future. overly descriptive writing activates my writer's block wtf- 😭 might make something like this for caleb too. ++ maybe more tomboy reader in the future!

Sylus is very respectful to women. If you had met him through a dating app and decided to meet in real life, it would most likely be in a park, cafe, or restaurant, where there are a lot of people. He would have insisted in your chats that he'd pay for your first date, no matter how many times you said to split the bill with angry emojis in your text boxes. The chats before you met him were casual and full of usual banters.

The first time he saw you, you were different from most of the girls and women he had met in his life. Not different in a bad way, but he was rather surprised. They mostly dressed in ultra-feminine outfits, while you wore a loose fit because that's where you're most comfortable. You hadn't gone for a full-blown tomboy wardrobe on your first date because you knew he was a man of eloquence.

On your first date, you really really tried your best to sit with straight legs even in your tomboyish fit, but you kept spreading your legs unconsciously. You gave in to your comfort. But if you wanted to know what is in Sylus’s mind, it does not bother him one bit. He's even glad you're comfortable around him despite his poise yet mischievous nature.

As the both of you went on more dates, your once decent, androgynous fashion of trousers, polos, and slightly colorful yet almost logoless loose t-shirts evolved. You now sported ripped sleeves, logos of your favorite rock/metal bands, wide shorts, jackets, etc., with colors that had little to no pastels anymore.

The more you dress like this so comfortably, the more he appreciates you as he already did from the beginning. If you're still thinking he prefers feminine women— he loves you for who you are, no matter what. What you wear doesn't matter to him at all. So is the way you talk in a straightforward and laid back manner. You are you around him is what matters to him the most.

No matter how busy he is in his faction and business deals, he makes time for you. You may be independent and all-powerful, and masculine, but he doesn't treat you any less of a woman, while still respecting your brazen attitude and masculinity. This includes hanging out with you doing your hobbies, be it skateboarding, bowling or being gym buddies!

If you think you'd open the car of the passenger's seat or pull the chair yourself on dates, he won't let you and will still be a gentleman and do it for you instead. You might not like that he still thinks of you as his princess because that's one of his many ways to show that he cares, but he definitely respects your preferences.

Arcade dates! They're often a must if you two meet and go on a date again. Sometimes, he might tease you by getting you cute, girly plushies or prizes, but does not go overboard, respecting your tomboy identity. Arcade fighting games are what hooks you the most and to his never-ending surprise, you often win against him and he's always impressed. You also play basketball together in it and have scores always close to each other.

He lets you wear his clothes with no problem at all! The ones you liked, he tried to find the exact same items in mall or online shoppings just so he can give it all to you. What you probably most liked the most in his wardrobe was his black leather jacket, designed with red and white lightning bolts. He somehow found a copy of it— and now you're matching jackets!

Rides! It's either you two race against each other on the roads (this goes the same with both your cars), but if you feel like borrowing his bike, Sylus would let you drive it and him sitting behind you. He's least bit worried that if you surpass speed limits while driving due to your competitive nature, he can save you with his Evol and buy another one easily and the two of you enjoy the wind whipping on your faces, or with your badass helmets on! There's not much difference when using his sports car, he'd even die to see you make his car leap to a bridge.

When it comes to giving you gifts, he always bases your preferences. Sylus tries to avoid anything that will offend you because that's how much he loves you. So the gifts he'd usually gift you are hoodies, badass looking t-shirts even if you have more than enough of them already, sneakers, minimalist jewelry, and buys your new favorite games you often gush about before you can purchase them, he also gives you gaming gears to beat enemies or levels to your ease. Skins? He also got it, or you can use his black card!

There would be more gifts he would give you like sport gear, comic books and tickets to your favorite bands he would come along with you. He would spoil you to no end. Really, there's no limit to his generosity when it comes to you!

[kikyoupdates]

Girlfriend-For-Hire ⭑˚🦋⭑ 𝟶𝟸

yandere!ocs x f!reader

yandere, reverse harem, yandere reverse harem, original characters x fem!reader, slowburn, slowburn yandere

Hoping to try something new and earn a bit of money on the side, you join an app that lets people hire you for your dating services. The idea is pretty straightforward — you pose as the client's girlfriend for a brief period of time, and in turn, you receive payment. But you didn't foresee everyone getting so attached to you, and suddenly, they're no longer satisfied with a fabricated relationship.

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“Shit. I know it’s a bit late now, but I really don’t want to be here.”

Isaac exhales shakily. You’ve just arrived at your destination and are standing awkwardly in front of his parents’ house. He’s clearly reluctant to go in, no doubt dreading whatever is about to unfold. 

You flash him a sympathetic smile. Since he went as far as to hire someone to act as his girlfriend, he must be desperate to appease his parents. Life is difficult enough without being pressured to do things you don’t want. You just hope that after tonight, they’ll ease up and give him some space. 

“It’s going to be okay,” you promise. You’re not quite sure where you’re getting your confidence from, since this is your very first day on the job, but no matter what it takes, you intend to play your part. 

Even though you’re quite nervous as well, you still muster up the courage to reach out and grab Isaac’s hand. 

“We’ve got this,” you reassure, gently squeezing his fingers. “I’ve memorized everything you told me and I can recite it without a moment’s delay. They won’t be suspicious of us. I’ll do a good job.” 

Isaac briefly glances down at your comparatively smaller hand, which is tightly grasping his own. Whether it’s the warmth of your touch or the sincerity of your words, either way, he looks a bit more optimistic than he did a few seconds ago. 

“Okay,” he nods. “You’re right. I’m ready now. Let’s do this.” 

With a resolved expression, he rings the doorbell, and after a few moments, someone opens the door.

“There you are!” a woman beams. She must be Isaac’s mother, and you have to admit, she looks a lot friendlier than you were expecting. “I’m so glad you’re both here! You especially, [Name]. We were over the moon when we heard that Isaac was bringing his girlfriend!” 

Her gaze briefly pans down, and she notices the two of you are holding hands. This, of course, was completely intentional on your end, and by the looks of things, it seems to be doing a good job of convincing her. 

“Thank you so much for having me,” you smile politely. “It’s really nice to meet you. I hope I didn’t surprise you too much by showing up without much prior notice.” 

“Oh, of course not,” she reassures. “Isaac was the one who decided to keep us in the dark, for whatever reason. But it doesn’t matter. We’re just happy he’s finally found someone! It’s not good to be all alone at his age. He’s at the stage of his life where he needs to start seriously considering his future.” 

Isaac does his best to hide it, but you still notice how his lips momentarily split into a grimace. 

“I’m Mary-Ann, by the way,” his mother smiles. “My husband was just finishing up with setting the table. He can hardly wait to meet you as well.” 

You nod, still smiling pleasantly, and Mary-Ann leads you through the house until you reach the dining room, where Isaac’s father is waiting. 

Unlike his wife, who has a much more agreeable demeanor, he is stern-faced and imposing. To be honest, he kind of reminds you of your own father a bit. Both of them seem like the type to be needlessly strict and abstain from showing their child any affection. 

Then again, first impressions can often be misleading, so you could very well be wrong. 

“Isaac,” the man snaps. “What took you so long to tell us you were in a relationship? Do you get a kick out of deceiving your parents? I’m starting to get really fed up with your lack of respect. I didn’t raise you to be such a prick.”

…nevermind, you’re spot-on. 

“Come on, honey,” Mary-Ann scrambles to intervene. She must be the mediator in the family, or as close as it gets to one. “Don’t be so confrontational right off the bat. Let’s just focus on the fact that he actually has a girlfriend now, okay? Please help me make our guest feel at home.” 

Isaac’s father finally turns towards you, still with that cold look in his eyes, but again—you’re used to receiving the same treatment from your own father.

When it comes to dealing with shitty parents, you’ve got a lifetime of experience in your arsenal.

“It’s very nice to meet you, sir.” You maintain your smile, never allowing it to falter in the slightest. “I’m sorry if we surprised you with this news. I think Isaac was just trying to be considerate of me. I’m a very private person, and he probably didn’t want to tell his family right away to avoid putting pressure on me. But I really do apologize, and I’m glad that we’re finally meeting now.” 

You know all too well what kind of person he is. He values respect and subservience above all else, and so long as you tell him what he wants to hear, it should be fine. 

Well, theoretically, at least. 

But much to your relief, his irritation dissipates quickly enough at the sight of you. Just like his wife, he must be relieved that Isaac is finally seeing someone. It sounds like they’re extremely concerned with the state of his romantic affairs—even though they shouldn’t be. 

“Yes, it’s nice to meet you, [Name],” he nods, offering a tight-lipped, but genuine smile. “I’m Michael. There’s no need to apologize for anything. Isaac is our son, so it was still up to him to confide in us. But I guess what matters most is that he’s finally found himself a girlfriend. For a while there, we were worried that he might not even be interested in women, if you know what I mean.” 

You force yourself to keep smiling, despite the fact that your stomach just dropped. 

Just casually sprinkling in a bit of discrimination on our very first meeting. Fantastic. This is off to a strong start. 

“For fuck’s sake, Dad,” Isaac mutters under his breath.

Michael arches a brow. “Did you say something?” 

“...no.” 

It’s obvious that there’s friction between the two of them, and you can’t blame Isaac for wanting to bury this issue as quickly as possible. 

If you want to receive positive reviews—but above all else, to actually help someone—you’d better do a good job. 

“Anyways, the food is all ready, so please take a seat,” Mary-Ann says, gesturing towards the dining table. You offer her a smile in return, grabbing a seat just beside Isaac. You take it upon yourself to sit across from his father so that he doesn’t have to, and based on the appreciative look he gives you, it clearly doesn’t go unnoticed. 

Mary-Ann happily hums as she heads into the kitchen to bring the food out. You offer to help her carry a few plates, but she insists that you’re the guest and you don’t need to worry about a thing. 

“Your girlfriend has better manners than you do,” Michael tuts. “You should have been the one to offer to help your mother. I wonder when you’re going to grow up.” 

Isaac’s expression darkens. “Okay. You’re right. Sorry.” 

“There’s no point in apologizing. Just be more considerate in the future. Ever since you moved out, I can tell you’ve become rather self-centered.” 

Fucking hell. This really is like a sit-down with your own parents. It’s every bit as uncomfortable as you remember it being, but the only difference is that, as much as your parents were shitty to you, they didn’t go out of their way to air their dirty laundry in front of guests. 

Unfortunately, it seems like Michael doesn’t have that same decency.

Sensing Isaac’s discomfort, you decide to engage his father in conversation and take some of the attention off him. 

“So, Isaac tells me you’re a lawyer,” you say. “I heard you’ve handled all sorts of big cases before. I’ve always felt like it’s a very high-pressure job, especially for the lawyers that actually go to court. I’m amazed you can keep your calm in front of so many people. That’s really impressive.” 

You figure that stroking his ego is probably the best way to appeal to him, and thankfully, it turns out that you’re right. 

Michael clears his throat. “Yes, well, there’s no point in doing a job if you’re not going to do it properly. And it’s also true that not all lawyers can handle going to court, which is why they choose more niche areas of the law. But I find fulfillment in working as a defense attorney and keeping innocent people from ending up in prison. Back when I was younger, I was more enticed by the idea of working as a prosecutor, but I started to see things differently as I grew up.” 

“How so?” 

“Statistically speaking, most criminals are repeat offenders. Which means that even if they get lucky and are found innocent of one crime, they will later commit another and end up in jail regardless. I realized that rather than going after lowlives who would likely be punished at some point or another, my talents would be better suited for protecting innocent civilians from having their lives ruined beyond repair. There’s nothing more devastating than being sentenced for a crime you didn’t even commit,” he mutters disappointedly. “That’s why I’m there to make sure I can save as many people as possible.” 

You nod in understanding. What he’s saying makes sense, and in all fairness, he doesn’t strike you as being malicious or cruel—although perhaps quite strict and old-fashioned—but don’t defense attorneys also have to represent criminals every now and then? 

“I know what you’re thinking,” Michael chuckles. “Over the years, I’ve risen to a reputable position where I can afford to be picky with my clients. I do diligent research beforehand to determine whether it is truly someone in need of help, or a criminal looking to get away with their crime. Since I’m a private attorney, I’m not assigned to any cases without my volition. Of course, I realize not everyone is as fortunate to be selective in the way that I am, but this is ultimately the result of my own hard work. I painstakingly built up my career and am now in a place where I can take absolute pride in what I do.” 

You make a point to show that you're listening attentively, even though you can hear Isaac scoffing quietly from beside you. 

“But enough about me for now,” Michael dismisses. He casts a glance over his shoulder. “Ah, there comes Mary-Ann with the food. It smells delicious, honey. I can already tell you’ve outdone yourself.” 

Mary-Ann giggles while setting the plates down. “Save the compliments until you’ve actually tried it first. Anyways, is everyone ready to dig in?” 

You smile and nod, and it seems like Michael wasn’t just trying to get on her good side, because everything really does taste incredible. 

“Wow, you’re such a good cook,” you remark, covering your mouth as you finish chewing. “This is so yummy! It could seriously pass as a dish in a gourmet restaurant or something.” 

“Oh, please,” Mary-Ann blushes, but it’s clear that she doesn’t mind the flattery. 

“Yeah, this is really good, Mom,” Isaac seconds, happily digging in. 

“Mary-Ann has always been an amazing cook,” Michael says, eyes full of pride. “She probably could have opened a restaurant if she really wanted to, but she’s a woman of many talents and was already preoccupied with her career.”

It certainly seems like they’re still very much in love, which is a good thing, especially for married couples who’ve been together for many years. Still, it’d be nice if that warmth and affection extended to Isaac as well. You really wish his father was kinder to him. 

It’s quiet for a while, since everyone’s busy enjoying the first few bites, but you suddenly notice Michael’s gaze lingering on Isaac, and after swallowing his food, he scowls.

“You’re still wearing that earring,” Michael remarks in disgust. “Didn’t I tell you to get rid of it? People will get the wrong idea about you. It helps that you finally have a girlfriend now, but still. You’re going to be a doctor, for crying out loud. Put some thought into how you present yourself.”

Isaac narrows his eyes. “I don’t see what the big deal is. I’m still young. It’s not like I’m going to start working as a doctor anytime soon.” 

“People that see you for the first time will think that you’re shallow and cheap. You look like you’re supposed to be some kind of male stripper.” 

“And how would you know what a male stripper looks like?” Isaac challenges. 

Michael’s face turns dark red in an instant, and he slams his fist on the table, making the plates and cutlery rattle.

“Watch your goddamn mouth,” he warns. “I refuse to be disrespected in my own home. Not to mention in front of a guest.”

The tension is so thick you could probably cut it with a knife, but to you, this is more than just an uncomfortable dinner. This is a job, which means you need to remain professional and not let any of it get to you. 

“I think Isaac looks handsome no matter what,” you decide to interject. “He can pull off all kinds of things that most people can’t. But he clearly gets his good looks from both of you. I can’t help but be jealous of his genes.” 

Once again, empty flattery seems to be your escape, and Michael chuckles awkwardly, perhaps a touch embarrassed, but at least he’s not berating his son anymore. 

From underneath the table, Isaac squeezes your hand. You agreed beforehand that it was okay for him to hold your hand and hug you, so that your relationship didn’t look too stiff or forced, but this time, he isn’t doing it to put on airs. 

There’s a faint blush on his cheeks, and his eyes are full of appreciation. He even mouths a silent ‘thank you’.

You blink a few times. 

Was it really that big of a deal? I’m sure anyone else would have done the same. His dad keeps grilling him for no reason, and I feel uncomfortable being trapped in the middle. 

You suppose he’s probably not used to having someone be by his side while he has to deal with his father. At the very least, it seems your presence here is making somewhat of a difference. 

“You asked me a few questions earlier, so now it’s my turn to ask you,” Michael suddenly says. “Are you and Isaac roughly the same age? Are you still in school, or have you already graduated?” 

Well, it looks like it’s finally time for this part of the night. The part where you’ll have to seamlessly answer every question they throw your way. 

But it’s fine. You practiced for this. You studied all the information Isaac sent you as if you were preparing for an exam, and you’ve got all your facts memorized. Michael is a lawyer, so he’ll probably be looking for holes or inconsistencies in your story, but it doesn’t matter. 

You promised Isaac you’d be the best girlfriend he could ever ask for, and that’s exactly what you intend to do. 

“We go to the same university,” you reply confidently. “Actually, we’re in the same major too. That’s how we met. We have a class together. Isaac is always really on top of all the material, so he helped me study a bunch of times.” 

Michael looks rather pleased to hear that. “Oh, really? That’s good. I was worried he wasn’t keeping up with his studies, but I’m glad he’s been taking it seriously. So, you also plan on becoming a doctor?” 

“Yep! I know it won’t be easy, but I want to help people as much as I can,” you beam. 

“It’s great that you have so much in common,” Mary-Ann remarks. “Medical students have a big workload, so it’s nice that you can relate to one another. Even better if you can help each other study.” 

“Have you already taken the MCAT?” Michael asks. 

“I did,” you nod. “I passed it and got a pretty good score, so I’m just waiting to hear back from the medical schools I applied to. Hopefully Isaac and I can both start next year. It’d be nice if we ended up at the same school too.” 

“Perhaps it’s better if you go to separate schools,” Michael frowns. “Medical school isn’t easy for anyone, and I worry you might end up getting distracted. Maybe you’ve got a strong work ethic, [Name], but Isaac is prone to slacking off.” 

What slacking off? He told me he scored in the 90th fucking percentile, which means he’s all but guaranteed his top medical school choices.

You strain a smile. Honestly, it’s exhausting constantly seeing parents hold their children to ridiculous standards. You and Isaac have a lot in common in that sense. No matter what you accomplish, no matter how hard you push yourselves, it feels like they’ll just never be satisfied. 

“I’ve never seen Isaac get distracted,” you insist. “He’s probably got the best grades out of our entire senior year. Anyways, even if attending the same school would be nice, I think we’ll be fine no matter where we end up. We’re both willing to put in the effort.” 

Mary-Ann nods happily. She’s clearly the more easygoing of the two. She actually seems quite nice, all things considered. Michael is the real hard-ass around here. You just hope you’ve done a good job of convincing him so far.

“I guess medical school is still a ways off,” Michael acknowledges, taking a sip of water. “But I’m glad you scored well on the MCAT. It sounds like Isaac’s finally found himself a good girlfriend. You’re open to marriage, I take it?” 

Isaac tenses up. “Dad, please—” 

“Quiet. I was asking her, not you.” Michael turns back to you and smiles. “Well? I hope you’re not part of that new, incredibly stupid fad where young adults such as yourself choose not to get married. It’s very sad to see how people these days view marriage. If you’re not willing to commit to marriage, then really, do you even value the relationship at all?” 

“We’ve barely been dating for over a month,” Isaac grits out. “Don’t you think you’re freaking her out with the marriage talk? I’m sorry, [Name]. He’s clearly getting carried away.” 

“I’m not speaking as if the two of you are getting married anytime soon,” Michael sighs. “I just want to know what her take on marriage is in general. I want to make sure she doesn’t have twisted values like the rest of the younger population these days.”

Isaac is visibly uncomfortable, scratching incessantly at the back of his head. It must be some kind of nervous tic. He’s done it a couple times this evening. Poor guy clearly wants to get the hell out of here.

But you’re not about to get worked up over Michael’s intrusive questions. All of this is pretend, and thus far, you have yet to actually divulge any real facts about yourself. He doesn’t truly know what kind of person you are. He’ll probably never know. 

So, you smile, completely unfazed. 

“Of course marriage is important. If I’m confident about spending the rest of my life with someone, what reason is there not to get married?” 

Michael doesn’t respond verbally, but he nods and smiles, clearly pleased. All evening, you’ve done your best to appeal to him and convince him that your relationship with Isaac is the real thing, and he doesn’t seem suspicious in the slightest. 

Still smiling, you lean over and rest your head on Isaac’s shoulder. He knows exactly what you’re getting at, so he smiles back and wraps his arm around you, pulling you close. 

Both Michael and Mary-Ann watch with approving gazes. The tension has finally dissipated, and everyone is content. 

It looks like you might be better at this than you first thought.

“I’m bored of this relationship. Let’s break up.” 

Callum blinks lethargically. His pale gray eyes feel heavier by the second, and even though most people would normally be taken aback to hear those words spoken to them, at this point, it doesn’t even faze him anymore. 

“Didn’t you hear me?” his girlfriend—or rather, ex-girlfriend repeats. “I’m breaking up with you, Callum. I’m serious this time.” 

Yeah, right. 

How many times has she broken up with him by now? He’s honestly lost track. It always comes out of nowhere too. It’s as if she’s trying to catch him off guard or something. 

“Okay,” Callum shrugs. “I know it’ll blow over before long anyways. It always does. I bet you’re just in a shitty mood. Did your period come early?” 

His ex scowls, visibly disgusted. “It’s because you say those kinds of things that I don’t want to be with you anymore. You’re such an asshole.” 

“Come on, Nadia. Don’t act like we haven’t had this same conversation a million times by now. You always do this. So, I’ll give you space or whatever until you cool off. There’s no need to get so worked up.” 

“I said I was serious this time. I’ve wasted enough of my life on you.” 

With a derisive sneer, Nadia swivels around and struts off. The whole while, Callum watches with his hands shoved into his pockets. He doesn’t feel even a twinge of worry, because he already knows how this little game will end. She’s never once been serious about breaking up. Why should this instance be any different? 

But for the first time, he feels something other than indifference when it comes to being broken up with. 

He’s actually kind of pissed off.

Nadia’s been getting a little too carried away lately. She seems to think that just because he’s mellow and laid-back, it gives her the right to walk all over him. It’s a tiresome routine, and he’s gotten pretty sick of it. 

Even though he knows Nadia will come back to him, just like she always does, perhaps it’s time to teach her a lesson.

As chance would have it, he’s been hearing a lot of buzz about a new app recently. Some kind of companionship service that allows people to hire someone to act as their significant other for a period of time. 

Partner For Hire. Yeah. This is the one. 

Having downloaded the app, Callum proceeds to scroll through its catalog and see what it has to offer. Just as advertised, it looks like all kinds of people are offering their dating services at a certain price. Some assholes are charging ridiculous numbers just for a single day’s worth of fake dating. It’s actually kind of unreal, because as far as Callum is concerned, they’re really nothing special.

“No, no, no,” he repeats, scrolling endlessly through all the options. “God. None of these chicks are even that cute, and they expect me to blow a fuck-ton of cash on them? Get real.” 

Honestly, he’s kind of disappointed by how mediocre the options are. Then again, he figures it’s mainly losers that use this app. People that are too pathetic to be in a real relationship. 

The more he scrolls, the more discouraged he feels, because he doubts any of these women would be able to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. She has no reason to feel threatened over a downgrade, and none of these uggos are going to get the job done. 

Just as he’s about to toss his phone aside and consider another approach, he stumbles across a profile that actually catches his eye.

“Whoa,” he blinks. “She’s hot as hell.” 

Callum nods approvingly. Yeah. If it’s with someone like you, then even Nadia would have to reconsider her shitty choices. He’s already got a huge smirk just imagining how horrified she’ll be when he shows up with his “new” girlfriend in tow. 

Looks-wise, he’s hit the jackpot. There’s no guarantee that you’ll actually be up to his standards, but hey, he figures it doesn’t hurt to give it a try. 

More importantly, if Nadia sees you with him, she’s guaranteed to lose her shit. 

“Maybe next time you shouldn’t be so quick to break up with me,” he chuckles coldly. “Stupid bitch. You’ll be begging for me to take you back by the end of this.” 

[𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭?]

>> [𝐘𝐄𝐒]

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🦋 main masterlist ♡ character appearances

[steftastan]

Carian Stroll

“Tell Blaidd, and Iji…I love them.”

Before this piece, I had been wanting for a long time to create my own piece of Elden Ring fanart featuring Ranni. I had tried several sketches unsuccessfully, just wasn’t particularly feeling the ideas I had sketched up until that point.

One day of usual internet scrolling, I stumbled upon this gorgeous piece of art by Shimomura Kanzan.

I knew immediately I wanted to do something like this for my Elden Ring fanart. In fact, if you look at this piece, there is tons of inspiration that I drew from the original artwork, such as the style of the yellow leaves and the main subject matter being a prominent silhouette of the brightest value, placed at approximately the bottom third of the image.

The main character is cleverly shrouded amidst various layers of trees and foliage, giving us the impression that we're peeking into candid moment of their life. In the case of the fox, we caught it during a mid-day snack. In the case of Ranni and her party, we caught them in a leisurely stroll, while Iji outfits the dreaded Fingercreepers with their iconic rings.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to capture a happy moment, but Ranni goes as far as to ask us to deliver to Iji and Blaidd the message that she loves them dearly as her quest draws near its end. I would imagine they all must have had fun moments together as a family. Hey, maybe even the hands liked to be around them?

The process

I started this on my iPad using the procreate app. Sadly the full process is not captured on video, as I switched to Photoshop for the rendering phase of the illustration. This video is a fun window into my chaotic process and how I iterate on the fly on the same canvas. I probably wouldn't do that in a professional setting where you often need to have color keys and iterations to be reviewed and analyzed. I like to I cut myself some slack when doing personal art to keep things fun.

Trying and failing some more

This illustration was not a straightforward path. I haven’t been very diligent about personal art, and at some point I started deviating too much from my reference by adding too many levels of depth to the background and suffocating the piece. I got into a weird loop where I would randomly open the PSD, play around with the values, pushing Iji to the back, then bringing him back, cranking all the levers on Ranni, etc., decide it would look horrible, then begrudgingly determine I’d never complete this image and go on with my life.

As artists we likely have unfinished work sitting everywhere, be it in our sketchbooks, canvases, or hard drives. But it’s a different kind of sting when you feel like you can’t even nail the fundamentals.

Anyway, so a couple weeks ago, I decided to give it another go, but this time I would get rid of all the unnecessary stuff, even stuff that I had been trying to render for ages. I would not hold on to anything, I would try and recapture what drew me to Kanzan's beautiful painting to begin with.

After it became a matter of pushing and pulling pixels until the image was finished!

That’s about it. I didn’t go crazy in depth but lately I’ve been enjoying reading into artists’ processes and I’d be remiss to not share my own thought process also.

Thank you for viewing!

[h0neytalk]

Italian Audio/Books/Videos Masterlist

Now that I’m at the upper A2/lower B1 level for Italian, I figured I’d compile a quick list of where I’ve found the best stuff to read and listen to.

E-Books and Audiobooks

Kobo Rakuten Italia — where I buy my ebooks. You can read them online, in the app, or download them and [redacted] to export them elsewhere. Has a monthly unlimited subscription that functions like a combo Kindle/Audible subscription.

Storytel — monthly subscription for unlimited access to audiobooks.

YouTube

Learn Italian With Lucrezia — truly the savior of anyone learning Italian. My favorite videos are her Q&As, vlogs, and “n basic phrases you need to know.” I don’t get much out of her grammar explainer videos but that’s because of who I am as a person.

NovaLectio — commentary style mini documentaries. I export them to LingQ to read before watching and it helps me parse what’s going on. Also, they upload some videos dubbed in English so you can watch both.

Vogue Italia — celebrity interviews and fashion content. About 50/50 Italian and English but obviously high production value.

ArtandtheCities — criminally underrated channel imo. 10-15 minute art history/industry videos by an art historian. Super interesting, she’s easy to understand, and has captions.

Chef Max Mariola — utter chaos but fun. A Roman chef cooking various dishes, sometimes with a guest. Gives very “your uncle is hosting Thanksgiving and forgot until yesterday” vibes but in the best way.

TV/Movies/Documentaries

RaiPlay (free!) — Italian version of PBS. Lots of documentaries and some kind of goofy soap operas/narrative shows. You can also watch live TV.

Podcasts and Radio

RaiPlay Sound — basically NPR. Also free! You can find podcasts, live radio stations, audiobooks, and even audio descriptions of movies and TV shows.

Articles

Formula 1 Italia — Formula 1 news. I’m a big Ferrari fan but they cover a lot of news/current events (as long as they can connect it to a driver). The writing is short and to the point so it’s easy to parse for beginners. And honestly the drama is better than a lot of TV shows.

Stile Arte — long, more complex articles about art and archaeology. Cannot recommend it enough if you have an interest in any of those things. There are some straightforward history articles at the B1/B2 level, and also some more creative essays that push C1.

Corriere della Sera — daily news site. I started reading the news only in Italian to keep me from doom scrolling because America is terrifying. This is just the site I have ended up using a lot. Mostly because it’s easy to navigate and they have a ton of content.

[spechblend]

My Guide to Patch/Crust DIY Pants That No One Asked For:

(If you see this guide go through changes, you’re not crazy, I update it all the time)

I’ve noticed that my DIY pants had been noticed on here, so I’d thought I make a guide for new punks getting into the scene 💖

I’ve been in the punk scene for a little over two years now, so don’t take everything I say to heart, I’ve got lots to learn.

Typically, you want to start out with a good base. For instance, the pants you choose can make or break your project. I don’t suggest buying super expensive pants, but don’t buy them super low quality either. You want something that lasts, as crust or patch pants are meant to be your only pair.

EDIT: Before I start any new project, I look around my stuff to see if I can repurpose anything. Old T shirts, bed sheets, bags, you name it. It’s so much easier to repurpose your stuff before buying new things, and you save money doing it. Before you buy pants, see if you can find a pair you already own! I had to buy new ones because I only had one other pair of jeans that I wear to work.

I’ve seen some tutorials floating around for DIY can spikes. Please be very careful doing this. If you’re moshing in a vest made with cut up aluminum, you can seriously hurt someone if you’re not careful. Be on the safe side and either borrow/buy pre made studs and spikes or save the DIY can spikes for non-moshing vests/pants/cuffs.

If you’re moshing with any studs or spikes at ALL, they should be blunt!!!

Good places to buy pants

Thrift (it’s a bit of a crapshoot if you have a hard time finding sizes, but if they’ve lasted long enough to end up in a thrift store, then it means they’re more likely good quality. Check the tags!!)

Edited above, been informed of how Goodwill treats disabled employees

ASOS (I recommend if you have a hard time finding your size. I can’t guarantee the sustainability of this site though.)

Mercari (Like an online goodwill. I find a lot of awesome clothes on here. You can download the app.)

Depop (I seldom shop on here, but similar to Mercari with a wider range of brands.)

How the Pants Should Fit

The fit of your pants can also affect how they lay on you. I suggest buying pants slightly larger on you, if you’re covering them in patches. When you start sewing, you’re going to find that they’re going to shrink a little bit. So please avoid tight fitting jeans if you can! Straight or relaxed fit are the best.

EDIT: If skinny/fitting pants are all you got, sometimes making relief cuts at the knees help when you try to bend down.

Patches

Patches are going to be what makes your pants unique! There’s quite a few you can choose from: plain patches, band patches, politics patches, etcetera. If you’re going to cover the entirety of your pants, I suggest going to Joann’s or Michaels (fuck Hobby Lobby) for fabric. Buy a yard or two canvas or pleather (or both). Otherwise, I usually cut up old T-shirts for my fabric.

How to Make Your Own Patches

Stencil (very straightforward, here’s a guide) (please check out Anarchostensilism on insta/Tiktok/Deviantart)

Paint (Buy white/black stencil fabric paint. I don’t suggest acrylic, since it’s not made to move with fabric)

Where to Buy Pre Printed Patches

crustpunks.com (Hella good, fast shipping, affordable!! Made by punks for punks)

nuclearwasteunderground.com (I found this one randomly)

Etsy (While I hate them for the way they treat their sellers, unfortunately this can be a main source of income for some.)

Shows, punk meets, friends

If you’re going to make crust pants, it’s imperative that you have crust bands on your patches, that’s what makes them crust! (Apart from never washing them)

Edit: I would do your own research on the crust punk subculture, there’s a lot of discourse out there on what makes punks crust punks and so on.

Washing your pants is not a black and white rule, but you can ruin the integrity of your work if you carelessly throw them in the washer. Like if you were to throw a suede jacket into the washer, there’s certain steps to take!

Here’s an enlightening guide on crust.

Here’s some crust band recs!

Nausea

Anti Cimex

Dystopia (my favorite)

disrupt

Doom

Heresy

Discharge

Amebix

Things to Add to Your Pants

Buttons (you can buy or make your own. Here’s a guide for DIY bottle cap buttons)

Pockets (easy to monkey wrench with a few spare patches, but here’s a pattern)

Handkerchiefs (the hankey code, much like the lace code, is pretty much dead. But it’s up to you if you want to signal something with it.)

Wallet chains (here’s a cool guide to making your own!)

Bum flap (by far the coolest thing on this list. Makes your ass not hurt when you sit on the sidewalk. Here’s a video)

Make them convertible (I made mine into zip off shorts. Here’s a video)

I made this up, but I added removable knee pads to mine.

Pant Inspiration

Have no shame in taking reference! Here’s are some cool accounts with awesome pants!

carnifexofhate

dontditchitstitchit

no_name_no_reason

okshrimpet

annals_of_the_crustwar

a_lifeisabuse_e

That’s all I got! Remember to never wash your pants ✨

[panthera-dei]

Technomancy 101

Hi, friends! I'm back with another witchy FAQ from the past couple weeks. This time from the world of tech magic!

Here are some quick TL;DR technomancy tips for those who may not want to read the long FAQs post beneath the cut:

1. Chest spells (like a jar spell but with a chest filled with in game items that match the intent)

2. Poppet spells using the game characters by giving them items or altering their names/appearances

3. Similar to a chest spell but not necessarily magic per se - using chests or sheds with in-game items as altars and/or offerings

4. Build a shrine / altar / temple with offerings, or leave an item such as a torch in the game world as an offering

5. Burn/bury/destroy ingredients to activate a spell with the desired effect

6. Write an affirmation or a spell on a sign or other in-game item and destroy it to activate as a sigil

7. Build a golem or animal pen or something as a servitor for protection

8. Use some form of sympathetic magic connecting in-game items to IRL items

9. Light sticks, flashlights, plastic lightsabers, and toy sonic screwdrivers make *awesome* wands, especially if they light up and make noise.

10. The possibilities are limited to your imagination!!

(I am choosing Wittgenstein from The Brave Little Toaster movies as my mascot for tech magic, simply because I like him and because I can. Image credit - Fandom Wiki.)

What is technomancy?: Technomancy, techno magic, and tech magic are all terms for a form of magic that utilizes common modern technology, such as smartphones and video games. Technically, “technomancy” could refer specifically to divination with technology; however, in my experience, the term usually has a broader meaning in common usage. I personally tend to use these terms interchangeably, with perhaps a slight preference for technomancy, since I learned that name first.

What are some forms of technomancy?: Common forms of technomancy include digital sigils, emoji spells, shufflemancy, video game spells, and video game altars.

How do I create a digital sigil?: The ways are about as unlimited as creating a physical sigil on paper. You can use a drawing app on a smartphone or tablet, find a digital sigil generator online, use a photo editor on a picture, or even add a string of charged letters to an email signature (just make sure they blend in!).

OK, and what's the deal with emoji spells?: Yes, this is an actual thing (though not a thing that I'm particularly experienced with). They're pretty straightforward. They can be done like a sigil - string emojis together and charge them. Or like an actual spell - put them together and send to cast, or like to charge and send/reblog to cast.

What kind of games can you use for technomancy?: Any of them. Minecraft is a very popular one. So is Stardew Valley. Skyrim and other RPGs are other common choices. As with other forms of magic, the only real limit is your imagination.

What kind of spells can you cast in a game?:

Chest spells - like digital jar spells - are very common.

Poppet spells are another common choice. In games that allow you to create a character, or in games where you can give items to an NPC, you can turn the character into a poppet of someone and give them an item to cast the spell. For example, if I wanted emotional strength, I could create a Skyrim character as a poppet for myself, and have the character drink a strength potion to cast a spell of strength for myself in the real world.

Burying or burning items in games like Minecraft can be done to cast spells that are similar to physical spells that require burning a paper, bay leaf, or other ingredient.

Enchanting! Use the enchanting function in a video game like Skyrim or Minecraft to enchant a physical object. For example, you might choose to connect a physical scarf to a shield in Skyrim, and when you enchant the in-game shield with a damage resistance effect, voila! You now have a fancy enchanted scarf to protect yourself from spiritual attacks.

Customize your avatar to your advantage! In games such as Sky: Children Of The Light, where you can accessorize your character, you can equip different items to cast a different spell on yourself. For example, you might use the Saluting Captain's staff as a cosmetic to cast a spell of protection on yourself, or you could use a particular cape as a spiritual veil.

For deity work & spirit work, consider creating a space in your game (e.g. a chest, shed, home, biome, character, etc.) dedicated to the entities you work with. For example, temples and altars in Minecraft are common. Devotional sheds and chests are popular in Stardew Valley. I’ve named some appropriate Pokemon after an entity or dedicated the critter to them. You can even place a torch or candle in the game world as an offering.

There are lots more out there, too! This list is a starting point, not a limitation. Use your imagination and swap ideas with others, too!

How exactly does all of this work?? How is it possible?!: OK, so the principle behind tech magic is that you're harnessing the energy of multiple sources.

First, the device itself (and if you're using something like a Switch, the cartridge or other physical media). Each of these items has its own materials - electricity, glass and metal, etc. And each of those materials has a magical property that you can use... Glass and metal come from the Earth and have their own correspondences, while electricity is pure energy in itself.

Second, you have the energy of symbolism, or as I like to think of it with a butchered sociology term, symbolic interactionism - i.e., the idea that we create our own reality (or our *perception* of reality) via symbols. In other words, the power of correspondences! A candle is still a candle whether it's physical or digital. Lapis lazuli has the same qualities in this world that it does in a pixelated version. And so forth. So when you use the correspondences in digital spell work, provided that you raise the energy, it can and does have real world consequences. Similar to doing magic in the astral as opposed to the physical world... you are making a conscious decision to connect a digital item to an effect either in the astral and/or physical worlds.

Finally, you're also harnessing the power of belief and the energy of attention, which is where the chaos magic concepts start to come in. The digital worlds are real because you believe they are and you pour parts of your energy and personality into them - and so do *millions* of other people, in many cases. All of that energy is sort of like a reservoir in these games and it's just waiting to be harvested for spell work!

So… This is another subset of chaos magic, then.: Pretty much, yes. I haven't seen it categorized as anything else yet, except for in those cases where technomancy is given its own category.

And what did you mean by “energy of symbolism” again?: Correspondences. Both traditional ones and your own. For example, obsidian corresponds with protection IRL. So if you were making a chest spell in Minecraft for protection, you'd want to consider adding an obsidian block to your spell. Some of this is also stuff that you can brainstorm on your own and explore! Like for example, in the Elder Scrolls series, there are several plants and items that don't exist IRL, such as the corkbulb root - but in the game, that item can be used to make a potion of healing, so for me, it has a healing correspondence. Also, if the game you’re playing has spells already, you can consider how to adapt those spells to affect the real world in a logical, realistic way! Many pop culture magicians have done a great job of turning Pokemon moves into real spells, for example. So feel free to play around (pun intended) and see what works best for you!

How come you only mentioned shufflemancy once in this whole entire post??: That, my friend, needs to be a post for a later date. I assure you, I absolutely can (and probably already have, and probably eventually will) write an entire post about shufflemancy.

How come your formatting is crap?: Because I wrote all of this on a smartphone and pieced it into a post with the mobile app. Bear with me. XD

Where do I learn more and fact check you, smarty-pants?: Tumblr. The answer is usually Tumblr for this kind of thing. Or sometimes Discord. Like pop culture magic, techno magic is simply very new. Some tags to search include tech magic, techno magic, technomancy, video game magic, etc.