#very short and fast and easy to read but is lacking a depth in the overall narrative. kinda skips over belivability for Why they're doing i

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads / storygraph

Bad At Love

short YA romance

a boy who’s recently moved to the US when he joined a popular band through a reality show, and has a bad-boy reputation that he wants to get rid of

and an aspiring journalist who wants to dig up dirt on him to get a scholarship

after a chance encounter, they start dating over the summer for their own goals

demisexual Brazilian and pan Brazilian-American MCs

[slowthinkingreader]

Swordspoint - Ellen Kushner

What a fun book to start off this blog with. My first review! Wow. I'll try to keep these relatively structured. I will be-- mosty likely-- spoiling things as I write these reviews. I'm not especially interested in trying to convince people to read any of these books more than I want to write down my thoughts and maybe start a conversation. I'll try to keep my reviews limited mostly to personal observations, unless I find something that might be worth bringing up outside of the scope of the book I'm reading. Anyway I won't meander.

(Started April 21, finished May 12th, 2024)

Brief summary: Swordspoint is a book belonging to the 'fantasy of manners' subgenre. It centers around St Vier, a swordsman-- which is a profession similar to a hired assassin, only sicker-- and the nobles of a nameless capital city whose dirty politics he keeps getting pulled into. There's romance and betrayal and basically everything you can possibly expect getting out of the genre. There's also gay sex. A lot of it!

I have to note this, because I think it's very funny: I didn't expect this book to be so gay. I'm usually seeking gay books like this out on purpose; this snuck up on me. I have a habit of browsing bookstores without any real aim, and I picked this one out of the shelves on a random good impression. I hadn't heard of the book before. I read the first page and the blurb on the back and, as you may have seen by looking at the cover pictured above, noted that it was well received-- by George R. R. Martin? I like his tastes enough, and I have a running obsession with 80's fantasy novels, so I bought it. Now I'm deeply curious about how well received it was at the time. I'd love to know what George R. R. Martin liked about this book. Really.

I read through this one pretty quickly; if I hadn't put it down for such a long time in between I'd say I could've finished it in a weekend. The prose was easy and sometimes very sharp. It's fast-paced-- it's a Manners book, so of course there's a lot of dialogue-- and the drama does what it needs to. The romance works, it got to me, I loved the dynamic between St Vier and his rude-ass, scholarly, suicidal paramour. That's a romance that will stick in my brain for some time: Alec siccing his swordsman on people that are rude to him just because he finds it entertaining? That's real gay antics. That was good. I feel sometimes that the characters were a little detached from reality, in the sense that their reactions to things felt very out of place or disproportionate at times, but it manages just fine with the momentum of the rest of the book. I was able to roll with it.

The characters were fun. Aside from that... I have to be honest, the plot was OK. It carried itself forward on the premises that it sets out. I felt like I could see every machination in this book laid out perfectly from beginning to end, it didn't exactly try to deviate from its trajectory, so nothing was particularly surprising, but it worked. It did what it had to. It's far from the primary appeal of this book and I don't really care to get into it. It had nothing especially interesting to say about its own politics because they basically don't exist. I couldn't tell you what Halliday's or Ferris' politics were. In the end, I didn't really feel like I got anything especially interesting out of this book in terms of what it had to say about, for example, literature as a whole, or queerness, or rulership. It's just really good, trashy entertainment. Really good entertainment!

If I were to make one serious critique, it would be that Ellen Kushner decided to leave the short story "the swordsman whose name was not death" as a short story, rather than working it into the novel somehow. I don't care how she'd do it. It just frustrates me that it's a side thing. This is main course business. It brought some real depth to Alec that I would have liked to see in the novel, and some real depth that was honestly lacking in every character-- despair and regret that felt real and believable. And it also stopped pretending that women didn't exist. It was so good. Damn you!!!!

Wait actually one more serious critique. Why is everyone so pale in this book? I get that it's winter, whatever, but ghostly pale? Every single one? And bright-eyed?

I'm very interested in seeing where the second book in the series could possibly go. I really have no idea. I hope it gets nastier. I deeply enjoyed the little noble drama in this, but it could've been a lot nastier. Trying to get someone killed is dramatic, but there needs to be more despair. More stakes!!!!

And finally-- my rating. 6/10. I like Swordspoint. It was a lot of fun. Not enough books out there that commit to their premise like this and do it well. Being trash and worth reading is an art.

[oftenderweapons]

Dirty ABCs | Jungkook and Candy

Let’s celebrate birthday boy with early NSFW alphabet!!! LET’S GOOOOO

Pairing: Jungkook x reader/OC (Candy)

Wordcount: 2.1k

Genre: headcanons

Rating: 18+. Minors, do not interact.

Here’s my masterlist, enjoy!

Trigger warnings: switch!jk, switch!candy, swearing. Unprotected sex (penetrative and oral — REMEMBER TO USE PROTECTION AND GET CHECKED REGULARLY), double penetration, quickies, creampie, cockwarming, cum eating. Marking, biting, scratching. Masturbation, boobjobs. Mention of mommy kink. Public foreplay, semi-public sex, exhibitionism. Degradation, praise kink, dirty talking, edging, sensory deprivation, overstimulation, multiple orgasms. Predator/Prey dynamics. Choking. Bondage. Toys (vibrators, cockrings, sex swing… 👀). Mild torture (?). Platonic spanks.

Beta read by my better half, @joheunsaram

Aftercare: Jungkook likes cuddles and pillow talk after sex. He’s very traditional about it. He enjoys how vulnerable he feels and how tender Candy is towards him. He really enjoys the softness of it all, and most importantly being babied. He wants tiddies and a nap. Candy is all about spoiling her boyfriend after he’s burnt out and satisfied. She loves how pliant and open he feels afterwards, how easy it is to connect with him and just let him vent about his worries.

Body part: Another tiddie man. He just loves how soft and relaxing it feels to rest his head on Candy’s breasts. He also loves her hair and how good it always smells. He lives to nuzzle into her neck and breathe her in. Candy loves Jungkook’s back. It’s the sexiest thing ever and she likes watching his back muscles flex when he’s fucking her. She also loves his waist, so dainty and feline. And of course his eyes. She could stare into his loving dark irises for hours. They’re so expressive.

Cum: Inside. Jungkook always wants inside. Her mouth is a close second, but if given the chance he wants to sink deep into her and bathe in the scent of her while sheathed in her warmth. It feels natural and romantic and loving. There’s no other place he would want to be other than inside her, all the time. Candy is okay with anything he wants. Watching his peaceful, serene expression after he’s fucked her hard and has found his orgasm inside her is ultimately one of the reasons why she loves having sex with Jungkook.

Dirty secret: Jungkook had been secretly nursing a mommy kink for a while. It did pop up once during one of his and Candy's little encounters, but it's not something he feels ready to face. He is so ashamed of it. Candy is really into Jungkook being her whiny, subby, precious good boy. She only wants to spoil him rotten all the time. However she can't stop thinking about all the girls out there willing to give up a lung to have a one night stand with him. Sometimes she just wishes she could dominate him in public. Tie him up, ride him raw till he's dry.

Experience: Jungkook has had only one partner, with whom the sex felt pretty awful. He didn't really think he was into it or could go that wild before he and Candy started sleeping together. Candy is fairly experienced. She has had three or four short term relationships. Maybe a couple flings.

Favourite position: Jungkook can't pick just one. Well, actually yes: missionary, but with Candy's legs pressed together and thrown over his shoulder but also spread apart, her knees pressed to her shoulders. Candy really likes it when he picks her up and fucks her against the wall, or when he gets really creative. That usually entails lots of laughing and joking and communicating.

Goofy: maybe. It depends. If they're making love, then I do see Jungkook getting emotional and Candy brightening the mood with cute jokes and compliments. They do tend to be goofy when they're together, but usually not during sex. It's either a very emotionally raw moment or vicious fucking.

Hair: Jungkook shaves. He's a neat freak and shaves. He does so religiously. Candy is not that consistent, sometimes she shaves, sometimes she trims. Depends on the mood.

Intimacy: it's very demure but it's there. You wouldn't notice it because the moment Jungkook enters beast mode, it's pretty much degradation and overstimulation all over the place. But it's there too! It's in the mere fact that he trusts her enough to forget how to be civil and decent and just unleashes himself all over her. For the first ten times or so it's shy and attempted, he tiptoes around the very edge of control, but once she tells him she loves him, he goes all out and never stops. He explores and pleases. That's his nature. Candy is the one that grants intimacy the most. He knows he can go wild because she's his anchor, keeping things loving and gentle and tender even through the storm. Now, once Jungkook subs though… intimacy galore. Little touches and small kisses and endless tight hugs. Her first goal is to make him feel safe. And that happens through intimacy.

Jack off: These two? Really? No, you didn't understand. If Jungkook has even a remote chance of cumming inside her, there's no way he's masturbating. He will 300% ignore his instincts until he can have her. And it's pretty difficult for Candy not to be in the mood — or not to get into the mood, if need be. She's also not one for masturbating. She does it only when he's not available, be it because he's abroad or he's too busy. But he's always her first choice. Generally speaking it might happen that he's not in the mood and she decides to take a quick shower and deal with it herself, but usually he's joining her after a couple minutes, his mind changed, a bunny smile on his face as he winks and hops in.

Kink: First and foremost, cockwarming. Creampies shortly after. Candy has a thing for marking him, especially scratches down his muscular upper back. Their kinks depend on who's domming: if it's Jungkook, there's plenty of degradation and high chances of predator/prey dynamics. He gets very horny if Candy plays hard to catch, and he discovers it accidentally, after Candy stole the last serving of his favourite snack. Useless to say, the snack was forgotten and they fucked on the floor. Candy likes choking (receiving) and pretty much anything Jungkook is willing to try. She can't wait to try double penetration with him, she's just waiting for him to open up about the topic. When domming, she's into sensory deprivation, bondage, praise kink and edging, especially when boobjobs are involved, since JK is particularly sensitive about the topic. As long as she has him whining and begging below her, she's ready to try anything.

Location: Well, the bedroom is the place of choice for most occasions. Not always though. The shower is a strong opponent. If they do get naughty outside of their home, it's usually in quite private places too. Hotel rooms. Club or restaurant bathrooms. Foreplay in the lift and on the dance floor — mostly Candy rubbing herself all over Jungkook. Well, they did get nasty in a cave once, but that's another story.

Motivation: as I said, playing catch with Jungkook is always a good way to get him in the mood. He's extremely weak for breasts, so anything regarding those is a hot topic too. Candy often wears loose/low neck shirts and leans over, offering him a glimpse of her lack of bra. Low neckline and no bra usually means "please, fuck me across the living room, thank you" in Candy language. While for Candy, watching Jungkook work out or just get sweaty and flirty is a total panty snatcher. You'll find her bent over, ass up, ready for the take.

No: Jungkook doesn't like receiving degradation. Memories of his ex make him uncomfortable with that. Other than that, he strongly opposes to anything that involves hardcore domination. He can be a dom, but he's extremely sensitive about what he does and some acts are a bit too aggressive for his opinion. Candy hadn't tried anything unconventional before Jungkook, and so far all her past no's have turned into hard yes with Jungkook. She's still exploring her limits.

Oral: Jungkook? Hell yes. He likes receiving but he by far prefers giving, especially when Candy is domming or directing him. He could do that for hours, and his love for the act almost rivals that of our local kitty cat Yoongi. His true joy is being rewarded going for multiples with his head between Candy's thighs. Especially if he's cum inside her. Not too fast though, he needs some cockwarming first. Candy is a true fan of giving head. She especially likes doing so when Jungkook is in a subby and bratty mood. Listening to him getting vocal about his appreciation is always the greatest compliment to her, and also an excellent way to discipline him when he gets cocky.

Pace: Fast. Hard. That's all there is. If he's setting the pace, it's outright demonic, hitting at least 74bpm (it's Kiwi by Harry Styles in halftime). Yes, he can go slower, usually when he's in lover boy mode or even better, when he's trying to show Candy who's the boss. Slow, lazy rolls of his hips reaching unknown depths. If Candy's on top/domming it's all about it being intimate, calm, relaxing even. She wants Jungkook to explore a sensuality he is too rushed and forceful for. Through her slow and steady approach she helps him embrace a more feminine and spiritual sexuality that borders on the psychological and tantric.

Quickie: yes. Hard yes. He is the best with quickies. Just get it over with so they're both relieved and they can chat about their day while he's still inside her. There's not much to say. Just yes.

Risk: they prefer avoiding it, however they're young and experimenting, therefore they do sometimes get a bit past the safety line. The biggest risk for them is doing anything where they could be spotted, therefore they're really subtle and overall not too explicit about anything happening in a semi-public context. Except, that one time while they were on holiday, of course. And that other time in which Candy almost jerked him off in a restaurant before blowing him in his car.

Stamina: Insane. Jungkook's stamina is more about endurance rather than control. He can make Candy cum five or six times while he cums twice and is more than glad. He can go for two consecutive rounds without breaking a sweat. For himself he's usually more than happy with a round of foreplay and one of fucking, but if he's determined enough, he can last one more. He usually doesn't push himself that far though, he does when he's been deprived for long enough.

Toy: Although toys aren't usually a part of their sex life, they do use them every now and then. Vibrators, vibrating cockrings, oh! And their sex swing, of course. That's what they use the most, yes.

Unfair: If Jungkook is in hard dom mode, he is very unfair, plenty of teasing and taunting matched with mockery and degradation. He can keep Candy on her toes for a full hour, giving her small reprieve every here and there. Candy is also equally torturous: if she's domming, she's not done edging him until he's whining, sobbing, begging and possibly crying.

Volume: Normally, Candy is very quiet however, Jungkook always goes the extra mile to make her moan and whine, especially if he's eating her out. Jungkook can be especially eloquent with his sounds: grunting and groaning are typically for his dommier side, while whining and whimpering are usually for his subby one. Moaning is all over the place. Consider also a good amount of murmuring and mumbling some dirty talking. Not too much though.

Wild card: Jungkook likes his hair being combed during aftercare. Candy always relaxes while he speaks loving words to make up for the degradation and mockery. She could fall asleep while combing his hair, she's just that tired and comfortable. Also! When he installed the sex swing in their room, he decided it was a good idea to have permanent hooks on the ceiling, mask them with fake plants. Crackhead.

X-Ray: Jungkook has a nice cock. Not too long, not too thick but it has an upward curve that makes stuff interesting. He's probably around six or seven inches. Candy has objectively nice breasts, full, round, truly well structured. And she has a nice ass too, Jungkook likes squeezing it when she throws her leg on top of him during cuddles. He also spanks it a few tens of times a day — not in the sexual way tho, but more in that encouragement/comradery way he has learnt with the guys.

Yearning: Jungkook can go without sex for a long time. I'm talking about a month and more. It's not a priority for him, except right after he and Candy sleep together for the first time, when he needed to get rid of the high. With him, everything is very inconsistent: one week you're having sex every day, and the following one, he's just all about the cuddles and fluff. Candy is up for anything, however she prefers having sex at least once or twice a week. Both feel safe to initiate without fearing being denied. For them, arousal is very easily built through playing and bantering.

Zzz: both take a while to fall asleep after sex. Plenty of time for pillow talking and cleaning up, though they prefer doing so very pragmatically. Any time spent apart during aftercare is a waste to both of them: they just want to talk things out, relax, bask in each other's warm presence.

[sincerelystranger]

author: the high school track&field AU that no one asked for

---

Lan Zhan likes to run.

He likes the simplicity of it. He likes the control.

From the depth of his breath to the length of his stride – whether he wins or loses, it’s really up to him and him alone.

Lan Zhan likes that.

He watches the track as he slows down from his cool down.

If pressed, Lan Zhan would admit that he likes the natural terrain of cross country over the strange rubber of the track, but he’s beginning to find that track has certain other appeals.

It’s fun to watch the other athletes, for one.

His brother on the pole vault, for example. The calm focus in his eyes as he runs. The graceful arc of his body as he flies above the bar. The split second of pure ecstasy that Lan Zhan can see on his brother’s face when he knows he’s made the jump – Lan Zhan never knew his brother could make that sort of expression. It makes him wonder what else he doesn’t know about his brother.

It’s fun to watch the sprinters as well. Everyone running on the track are called runners, but the type of running the sprinters do is foreign to Lan Zhan.

For Lan Zhan, running is like water. There’s rhythm – a smoothness – to it. For Lan Zhan, running is something to get lost in.

Not for the sprinters though. There is something violent about the way they run. The way the shoot out from the start and torpedo through the finish. There’s no time to get lost.

If Lan Zhan’s way of running is about holding onto control, sprinting is about losing it.

Lan Zhan watches Jiang Cheng tear down the track.

Jiang Cheng is the fastest sprinter in their school – probably in their entire prefecture actually. He holds the school records in the 100m and 200m and if sprinting if violence, there is no one more destructive than Jiang Cheng.

Lan Zhan’s a bit disgusted by it, really, if he thinks about it. Sometimes, he wonders why Jiang Cheng runs at all. As Lan Zhan sees it, there’s no joy in Jiang Cheng’s running. Even when he wins he seems dissatisfied.

So the mysteries of the track – the joy it brings his brother and the obvious dissatisfaction it brings Jiang Cheng – they are all part of the appeal that Lan Zhan is beginning to find.

The biggest mystery though…

The one Lan Zhan would never admit wondering about, even if pressed…

Lan Zhan squats down and stretches one leg forward. He tilts his head slightly towards his shoulder. From this angle, he can see his biggest mystery from the corner of his eye.

Wei Ying.

The boys’ cross country coach spent all of second year trying to convince Wei Ying to join the cross country team to no avail. Wei Ying said that long runs bore him.

Aside from Jiang Cheng, Wei Ying holds the fastest 100m and 200m times, but anything longer than 200m Jiang Cheng can’t even compete. (Sometimes Lan Zhan thinks that maybe that that’s why Jiang Cheng is always so dissatisfied.)

Lan Zhan knows Wei Ying doesn’t even like the sprints – he won’t run them unless someone is injured.

Wei Ying likes to run the 800m the best, and his time is so fast that the Olympic team recruits often come watch him.

Lan Zhan always likes to watch Wei Ying cross the finish line. He’ll come to the meet hours ahead of his race time just to watch Wei Ying.

Wei Ying sails through the end, the other runners far behind him, and when he crosses the finish, he always lets his arms swing back a little as he glides through.

It’s… beautiful.

If Lan Zhan was a little more stupid, he might admit that Wei Wuxian almost looks like he has wings in that moment. (He might admit that Wei Wuxian looks a little angelic - but he’s not stupid).

Lan Zhan knows more about Wei Wuxian than he’s comfortable admitting to, and it doesn’t help that Wei Wuxian probably only barely knows Lan Zhan even exists.

It doesn’t matter… Lan Zhan wouldn’t know what to do if Wei Wuxian noticed him anyway.  

He brings his leg back in and turns to stretch the other side. He turns his head and keeps looking at Wei Wuxian from the corner of his eye.

Wei Wuxian is laughing brightly. Talking and laughing with the other mid-range runners.

He’s always surrounded by people. Always bright and happy and having fun… and that’s why he’s Lan Zhan’s biggest mystery.

Because the way Wei Wuxian runs is very…

Lonely.

Wei Wuxian’s steps are light and his strides are long and his breathing is always under control. But he doesn’t seem lost like Lan Zhan.

Or…

Maybe he’s lost, but he’s lost in a different way than Lan Zhan.

Running is a quiet place for Lan Zhan. An easy question with an easy answer. The one place Lan Zhan can’t be found lacking in effort or ambition or any other strange standard his uncle’s set for him.

It doesn’t seem to be a quiet place for Wei Ying.

Maybe Lan Zhan doesn’t know as much as he thinks he knows about Wei Ying, or maybe he’s seeing things that aren’t there, but when Lan Zhan watches Wei Ying run…

It looks like he’s searching for something.

(As beautiful as Wei Ying is when he crosses the finish line, he doesn’t smile when he wins either.)

Lan Zhan stands as Wei Ying walks past him.

He knows it’s silly, but he feels himself hold his breath a little – stand a little bit straighter. He does his best not to let his eyes follow Wei Ying as he walks past.

He would be mortified if Wei Ying found out that Lan Zhan paid him any attention at all.

Lan Zhan stays that way for a few seconds as Wei Ying walks farther and farther away from him. The shoulder that Wei Ying walked past feels a little bit hotter than the rest of his body. There’s a strange tingling in his back at the thought that maybe Wei Ying might have looked back at him.

He feels foolish, but also strangely satisfied with himself. It feels like a little achievement that he’s gone another day without letting Wei Ying know that Lan Zhan... knows anything about him at all.

It’s maybe creepy and strange but hiding his creepy and strangeness feels like an achievement so Lan Zhan decides to be satisfied with that.

He starts walking towards the bleachers to wait for his brother to finish practice, when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

“Lan Zhan!”

Lan Zhan turns, quickly brushing the hand off his shoulder before looking at the face of his assailant.

He knows it’s not possible, but his heart feels like its stopped in his chest.

“Ow,” Wei Ying says shaking the hand that Lan Zhan slapped away. “No – don’t apologize. It’s my fault, I surprised you.”

Lan Zhan hadn’t made any movement or sound close to an apology at all but…

“It’s Lan Zhan, right?” Wei Ying asks, his brows furrowing at Lan Zhan’s continued silence.

“Mn,” Lan Zhan finally says with a nod. He feels a little bit panicked. He feels like maybe Wei Ying read his mind and came to ask him to stop stalking him so much. He feels like if he gives any more information Wei Ying might find out everything and…!!!

“I’m Wei Ying!” Wei Ying says brightly, uselessly - because could there be anyone in the entire school that could possibly not know him? – “We’re actually in the same year, but I’m in class 3.”

Lan Zhan just nods again, because this still feels dangerous and he doesn’t want to give any more information than he has to.

Wei Ying doesn’t seem at all put off by Lan Zhan’s continued silence. “Me and some of the other guys on the team were going to go to the pool hall to hang out after – I just wanted to see if you would want to come with us.”

It’s too much.

It’s really too much.

Wei Ying knowing his name is too much. Wei Ying saying his name is too much. Wei Ying inviting him out is too much.

Lan Zhan really…

Lan Zhan takes a step back. “Mid-term exams are next week and the pool hall is an improper place for runners to… hang out at… there’s too much smoke.”

Wei Ying’s eyes go a little big and round at Lan Zhan’s answer.

Lan Zhan wants to hide in a hole. He feels like the biggest loser in the world and oh gods, Wei Ying is going to think he’s the biggest xueba in the planet. Wei Ying is probably regretting even trying to talk to Lan Zhan. He probably regrets even knowing Lan Zhan’s name. Oh gods…

Wei Ying is quiet for a few seconds…

And then suddenly…

He breaks out in a huge smile and he… laughs…

Lan Zhan feels embarrassment crash over him in waves. He moves to walk past Wei Ying. He doesn’t want to be laughed at – even if the person laughing at him is beautiful and fast and…

“Oh please don’t get it wrong,” Wei Ying says, quickly grabbing Lan Zhan’s wrist so he can’t walk any further. His words are still decorated with laughter. As much as Lan Zhan hates it, he can’t help but find it… charming. “I’m not laughing at you – promise. I’m not!”

Lan Zhan doesn’t move. He doesn’t make any noise. He looks at Wei Ying’s face out from the corner of his eye and he finds that Wei Ying’s face is open and honest…

“I didn’t… say anything funny,” Lan Zhan says.

“Yeah,” Wei Ying agrees warmly, “But it was funnier because I knew you didn’t mean to be funny.”

The waves of embarrassment ebb a bit.

“What was so funny?” Lan Zhan asks.

Wei Ying scrunches his nose a little, as he shrugs his shoulder to one side. “I can’t really explain it,” he says, “It’s just funny to hear someone my age saying that something is improper.”

Lan Zhan tries (and fails) not to stare at the way Wei Ying’s nose scrunches. It’s cuter than Lan Zhan ever imagined and Lan Zhan wants to… save it to his memory…

He shakes his head a little to clear his mind and he pulls his hand away from Wei Ying’s.

“That’s… boring,” Lan Zhan says.

Wei Ying smiles widely again. His eyes are prettier up close, Lan Zhan thinks. “I’ll find something fun next time,” Wei Ying says, “I’ll find a proper place to hang out so you have to hang out with me then, okay?”

He’s off before Lan Zhan can even respond.

Lan Zhan watches him as he runs towards his waiting group of friends. He feels little bit like he might’ve been run over by a truck. He feels more tired from this short interaction than he did from his practice.

He watches Wei Ying runs through the exit and out of the track.

Wei Ying crosses the threshold like it’s a finish line.

Both his arms swing back a little, his head tilts up slightly.

Lan Zhan knows it’s not possible, but his heart stops in his chest.

[rosyl-stuff]

The Hate Between Us

Paring: Jeong Yunho (Ateez) x reader

Genre: forbidden love, fantasy, The Little Mermaid inspired (not really a retelling), a bit angsty, a bit fluffy

Warnings: violence (nothing too graphic)

Word Count: 1.9k (7-8 minutes reading time)

Synopsis: You are a siren who needs to rip out the hearts of humans as a tribute to the Sea Queen. Yunho is a pirate who hunts sirens. Will you two find your happily ever after?

It was a peaceful night. When you broke through the surface of the water, you were not immediately blinded by the sun, so you could spot Yunho straight away. He was standing up to his ankles in the water and wandering around waiting for you.

When your paths first crossed, it was anything but peaceful. You were on the lookout for prey because the Sea Queen was expecting tribute again. Every year, each siren had to prove their loyalty by bringing her a heart of a human. It was the only way to get recognition in your world. Everything else did not matter. Love did not exist for heartless monsters. From a young age, you tore out the hearts of sailors, pirates and sometimes princes who were on adventures so that the sea queen would recognise you as worthy.

Yunho was a pirate. But not just any pirate. He was part of a notorious siren hunter crew. They were known for their swift and brutal style. None of the captured Sirens ever came back alive. A few were given as trophies and compensation for old crimes to the various royal houses of humans. There they were kept in small pools of water and put on display. Sometimes they were even hunted for fun in those pools. Those that were not given away alive died on the ship while their scales were removed. Siren scales have healing properties for humans and were a much sought-after commodity for which people were willing to pay a lot. This is how Yunho and his crew earned their living.

However, they were not the only ones with this business idea. Other pirates quickly followed suit and, pirate fights in waters where sirens frequented became more common. One of these fights took place when you were actually looking for prey. Both crews were too busy fighting each other to notice you. It was an easy game for you. The first pirate to fall into the water, you would grab and rip out his heart before they drowned. You didn't have to wait long until the first one fell into the water. He tried to swim but wasn't very good at it. There was also a big gash on his side. You quickly swam to him and pulled him further into the depths. When you saw his face for the first time, you hesitated. Most people looked at you with love because they were still under the spell of your singing. But he only looked at you curiously. He didn't seem to be afraid either. His face was angelic and, you couldn't help but look at him a little longer. You had hesitated too long because the next moment a harpoon shot only a few centimetres past you. One of the pirates Yunho was fighting against had followed you into the water. He could swim and dive well and was moving towards you. Without giving it a second thought, you swam away with Yunho in tow. He had run out of air by then and fainted. You laid his motionless body on a rock. You didn't want to risk getting caught by any of the pirates and decided to go somewhere else to get your heart for the sea queen, so you abandoned him there.

Luckily for him, his crew found him quickly and, he survived. The lack of oxygen had made him forget what exactly had saved him. He could only remember your face, but he kept it to himself, even though he dreamt of you every night.

As you still did not bring a heart to the sea queen, you were pressed for time and became more careless. So it happened that you were caught in a net and pulled out of the water onto a ship. You tugged at the net, but no matter what you did, it wouldn't let up. When the net was pulled off your head, you saw his face a second time. He recognised you and, you could see his inner conflict in his eyes. You stopped struggling and wondered if it would help to beg him. He glanced over his shoulder at his comrades. Then he held his hand in front of your face. "I know I owe you one. Now bite my hand and then get off the boat and swim as far away as you can." You hesitated while Yunho gave you an encouraging nod. He moved his hand gently to your lips. Then you bit gently into it. "Harder!" he growled, "It's supposed to be realistic!" You obeyed and, his face contorted in pain. Then he cried out and at the same time pushed you back into the water. You swam away as fast as you could. You tasted his blood for days to come and, his face wouldn't let you go now either. You had heard stories of soul mates. Was he perhaps yours?

So you couldn't help but stay close to the ship all the time. Never too close because Yunho probably wouldn't help you a second time. One night he sat alone on the deck and stared into the far distance of the ocean. Your heart longed to see his face. So you carefully swam closer, fervently hoping that no one was sitting by the radar and that everyone else was asleep. Yunho noticed you embarrassingly early. He grinned at you: "Can't stay away from me, I guess."

So you spent almost every night together. Except when you had to fetch a heart, then you disappeared for a while. In the beginning, Yunho was sure that one day you would get his heart and that you just enjoyed playing with your prey. But you also doubted Yunho's sincerity. After all, you saw him regularly dragging sirens out of the water with his crew and killing them. At any time, one of you could become the victim of the other. Nevertheless, you began to trust each other. Yunho was actually a very gentle person and, his brutal way of life affected him more than he wanted to admit to his crew and especially his captain. It was different with you because he could tell you everything without being judged or called weak. You simply listened and comforted him. You were fascinated by his stories and loved to listen to him. But what you liked most was that he simply liked you. You didn't have to prove yourself to be noticed by him. When you were together, it was just the both of you and not the suffering your species caused each other.

But it was not only the hatred of your species that kept you apart. Yunho had no fin, could not breathe underwater and was a terrible swimmer, even if he tried to get better. You had no legs and couldn't move at all on land. Every time Yunho's ship docked at a port, you met in a small, hidden bay. There you could be closest to each other and, the risk of being caught was lowest.

Tonight was one of those nights. You watch Yunho pacing back and forth. Sometimes you wondered what your legs would look like. Would they be as long as Yunho's or be more on the short side? Would you have muscular thighs like him or, would they be thick or thin like other humans? Sometimes it was the other way round and, you wondered what his tail fin would look like. What colour would it be?

Yunho spotted you and in an instant, a grin spread across his face. He got deeper into the water. You swam towards him. When Yunho was waist-deep in the water, you reached him. Without effort, he grabbed your waist and pulled you out of the water so that you were at eye level. You wrapped your arms around your neck and smiled at him.

"Hi love!" he murmured and put his lips on yours.

It was a very loving kiss.

"I missed you!" you breathed against his lips.

"I missed you too!" he murmured and gave you another quick kiss.

You gently stroked his hair and couldn't really stop grinning. Yunho noticed this and asked,

"Did something good happen today?"

You nodded, yet you hesitated. Yunho wanted you to be careful because you would be executed immediately if anyone found out about you. Yunho was close friends with his crew and the captain. They might be angry or disappointed, but they probably wouldn't kill him. Cautious was not a quality you would use to describe yourself. Especially when it came to finding a solution to your problem.

"Now tell me! What have you done?"

"I was in the forbidden library!"

Yunho sighed. As the name suggested, no one but the Sea Queen was allowed to enter the library. But you had managed to bribe one of the guards to let you in. You took your time and looked for a way for you and Yunho to be together.

"Don't worry, everything went well," you said to reassure Yunho.

"And what if it hadn't gone well? Y/N, you have to stop putting yourself in danger like this."

You pouted. Yunho sighed and gave you another kiss.

"Go on, spit it out! What have you found out?"

You gave him a big smile and, he couldn't help but smile right back at you.

“I found a way to make a potion. The potion will give me legs,” you said excitedly.

Yunho looked at you surprised: “Really? What about the ingredients? Are we able to get them without dying?”

You nodded: "Yes, most of them grow on the land, but with your help, it should be no problem!"

Yunho still looked sceptical.

“Come on, Yunho. Please be happy about it. It won't hurt trying it. None of the ingredients is poisonous."

"I'm just worried. There has to be a catch. I highly doubt a potion will just give legs with no side effects."

And he was right. You tried to hide it, but Yunho noticed it right away. He gave you a soft kiss on the cheek as you avoided eye contact.

“What is the side effect?” he asked you softly.

“Please let us try anyway.”

“Tell me first!” Yunho demanded.

You knew arguing wouldn’t bring you anywhere, so you sighed and said: “If I get my legs, every step I take will feel like I’m walking on broken glass.”

You breathed out audibly and pulled you closer to him.

“You know that will be very painful?" he asked.

You just nodded, even if you have never felt how a piece of glass cute into your body. But it can’t be worse than the pain you felt in your heart when you and Yunho are not together.

“I don’t think I can let you do that!” he mumbled into your hair.

“Please,” you begged, “I don’t want to be separated from you any longer. I want to be together with you.”

“You know that I want that as well. I just don’t want you to suffer the rest of your life," he said with a sigh, "Let me think about it, ok?"

You nodded and gave him a feverish kiss. The discussion was over for now and, you both concentrated on giving each other all the love you could.

Maybe you would find another way to be together. Find a way to bring peace to your species. Maybe you are the start of a change. Maybe you find your happily ever after or, you end up in a tragic love story.

Or you are just another story for hopeless romantics?

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this one. If you liked the concept, I would recommend reading "To Kill A Kingdom" by Alexandra Christo.

[otomegema]

title: Convergence Theory, ch. 2 pairing: Gojo Satoru x Reader summary: You are a lesser family member of the Gojo clan, so far removed you don’t even carry the name, but you carry the Limitless ability and thus the potential to be a bride to the future head of the clan— a fact you patently reject at fifteen. Twelve years later you are a second grade sorcerer struggling to obtain first grade status when the object of your deepest objections offers you a deal. rating: mature tropes: fake dating/engagement, rivals to lovers, slow romance Link: Archive of Our Own

It had been a logical move to allow Gojo to take down your number, entering it into his contacts with an obscene amount of heart and wishing star emojis by the brief glance you caught over his shoulder. It looked like he was already banking on your acceptance of the deal, but when you parted, your to-go sushi in a small plastic bag, you hadn’t expected to hear from him until tomorrow evening at the latest.

Or maybe even never.

But now, back in the hotel you were being comped for while in Tokyo, you wished silently that you’d never given that man your cell phone number.

Honey

Baby

Future-pretend-love-of-my-life

Have you made a decision?

He wasn’t human. It was barely 6am, did he wake up this early for lessons every day? You groaned, nearly swatting the phone off the nightstand in the dark.

You shot back a fast reply.

-oh I’m sorry

-I’m still recovering from getting electrocuted the other day

-Some asshat led a curse to me

You rolled over, managing to get at least another decent half hour of sleep in before the phone chimed again, lighting up the darkened hotel room.

\(★ω★)/

YOUR asshat

Should you choose to accept this mission

You threw off your covers, forcing yourself up to sit against the stack of pillows behind you as you tapped out a reply.

-My pretend asshat

-Mother will be so proud

The dots of his reply began immediately.

So is that a yes?

You sighed, rolling your eyes to yourself.

-Day isn’t over -Hasn’t even started tyvm

The dots began. Stopped. Began and stopped again, this time not reappearing. You tossed your phone onto the bed and teetered up and over to the coffee maker. The pot was finishing brewing by the time your phone chimed again.

You’re so slow.

The addition of punctuation and the sudden lack of emoji seemed almost like a warning flare that Gojo’s patience was waning. But you hardly knew the man and really, what did you care? A favor for a favor was what he offered. You didn’t owe him anything.

I have other options too.

His text continued and for a moment you frowned, wondering if his intention was to have that sound like a threat. You felt heat rising in your throat— he didn’t want to play that game.

So no pressure. Genuinely.

Oh. Good. That was better. You felt the tension uncoil as fast as it had grown.

Tho I AM your only hope for advancement <3

You could have thrown the phone right through the wall. Your thumbs worked rapidly, shooting out your reply in no time.

-Ah yes, your finest quality

A quick appearance of dots.

My special grade ranking? (･ω<)☆

You smirked.

-Humility

You’re no fun.

Text me when you are done being boring.

This was probably the most you had ever spoken to Gojo, despite having seen him on and off from a distance for the better half of your life. He was hard to miss. Every event at the main house would have him and his immediate family at the forefront. No one ever stopped talking about Gojo Satoru and his accomplishments and his strength and his skill as a sorcerer.

It was nauseating, having to pretend to nod and smile like it was all some great blessing just to orbit near him. It was bad enough he read like a sun to your abilities, as if he needed to be made to think he was anymore of the center of the universe.

Your palm itched. The desire to tap back a response now, a firm denial, very strong. But not stronger than your excitement at the possibility of being a first grade sorcerer. It was everything you had wanted. Prestige, recognition, tougher missions and the pay and rewards that came with them.

You were no weakling. Sure the telemetry technique took you out of commission, but it was hardly your greatest feat. You had finally been able to manifest the cursed technique lapse, blue. Granted, it was a one off and exhausted you so fully afterwards that you nearly fainted on the spot… but your tolerance was getting better. The precision of your manipulation of your cursed energy would never be on par with Gojo, but you could, some day, maybe even manage to shoot the technique off twice.

Reversal Red was next to impossible. And Hollow Technique? Truly impossible. The Six Eyes was needed to even attempt it. Most of your practice had been devoted to perfecting your long distance teleportation skills, fine tuning your telemetry technique and working on establishing your domain. That one was easier. The Unlimited Void crushed your opponent beneath an overload of sensory information, information you could easily channel and tap into with your own unique skills as a Limitless user.

But like all things, you were only second best. And barely. It was a joke. Comparing yourself to Gojo. He was on a level you could never achieve— unless.

You grabbed your phone, hastily dialing the new number and wincing at the loud, cheerful greeting from the other line.

“Good morning, moon of my soul, tenderest heart, darling—!“

“I haven’t even said yes yet, you monster.”

“Ah! A name of my very own? Be still my trembling heart!”

“I wish to make an amendment to the agreement.”

There was a lengthy pause. You could practically hear the slow spread of that sly smile. Content as the cat who caught the canary.

He knew he was about to win.

“Let’s hear it.”

“If you are putting my name forward for first grade, that means you have someone else in mind to be the second backer and someone in mind for me to shadow on missions and train with, yeah?

“I do.” Gojo said, his tone surprisingly serious.

“Have them put my name forward instead. I want to shadow you.”

Gojo laughed, a short mirthless thing, “What makes you think I have the time?”

“You have enough time to play pretend, I’d think any fiancé would leap at the chance to be with his lovely wife-to-be and keep her safe.”

Gojo hummed.

“Why me?”

This was an oddly familiar conversation.

“Purely selfish reasons. You are the best Limitless user. I am a Limitless user. I want you to teach me.”

“You aren’t on my level.” He said, no malice in his words, just simple facts.

“Then teach me what I can handle.”

There was another pause.

“I’m not gonna go easy on you just because you’re my girl.”

The bare utterance of the endearment sent a shiver up your arms and not an entirely pleasant one either. His girl. God, how would you even begin to explain this fake engagement to your parents? Who knew the depth of your jealousy and bitterness over Gojo since you were— what? Five? Younger?

“Since I am just your ‘pretend’ girl, I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

“Your funeral, babe.” Gojo said, “But I’m glad we resolved this early! Because we are having dinner. Reservations are made, I’ll pick you up at seven. Wear something pretty!”

Your words caught in your throat, stuttering across your tongue and unable to force out before the line cut off and he was gone.

You pressed the edge of your phone to your temple, already feeling a headache coming on. Something pretty? Shit.

-Something pretty? -Too vague. I have no idea what I’m supposed to wear.

A dress! Something for the evening. A Line.

V Neck def

Show off what puberty gave ya (＾〃＾)

Chiffon with ruffle lace

And grey-blue

-Why?

To match my eyes <3

-Where in the world do you expect me to find that specific dress in the next few hours

Downstairs with hotel staff I had it dropped off <3 <3 <3

-That’s creepy

(つω`｡) </3 </3

-Enough with the hearts -How much? I’ll pay you back

It is a gift <3

-How’d you even know my size

A gentleman never reveals his secrets

┐(‘～` )┌

You sighed and set aside your phone to call down to the front desk. Sure enough, a few minutes later someone brought up a large white box, tied with a grey-blue ribbon. You set the package on the small counter in your room’s kitchen and opened the lid, brushing aside soft tissue paper.

The dress was ridiculously soft, made of fine, nearly translucent layers of chiffon. It was a lovely color, the sight making you suddenly think of the feeling in the air before a thunderstorm, the smell of rain. The ribbon matched.

You looked for a price tag and found none, but folded away at the bottom of the box was a hand written receipt. You paled at the figure displayed on it.

-Gojo, I can’t possibly accept this.

Don’t be stupid. No one would believe I was serious about a woman unless I was positively spoiling her rotten. s’not like it broke the bank!

-Forget the first-grade rec

-Pay my bills

Too late! Negotiations are closed :)

-So what the hell am I doing at this dinner?

Eating Duh and being seen with yours truly easy peasy right?

You sipped your coffee, keeping the mug well away from the dress. It was certainly nicer than anything you had ever owned in— well. Ever. It was hard to argue that there were clearly going to be some additional perks to this arrangement you hadn’t previously thought of.

Plus we gotta go over some ground rules

-Thought you said negotiations were closed

-This mean we can revisit my bills?

g2g

Students need me!

Ttyl babe

The ease in which that man showered you so soon with endearments was nauseating. Had he ever even had a girlfriend before? Or just those usual moon-eyed women who fawned and petted him?

And now everyone was gonna think you were one of those girls. You drank your coffee faster, relishing in the way it burned down your throat and overpowered the bad taste in your mouth.

“First-grade… first-grade. Remember the first-grade.”

And training. You’d squeeze every possible benefit from this arrangement out that you could. Sorcerers worked in teams, but at the end of the day, it was every man and woman for themselves.

Let them think what they want when you were seen tonight. You would come out on top.

***

The day passed quickly and you found yourself standing in front of the hotel mirror, twisting back and forth to get a feel for the movement of the dress— and half practicing staying upright in the heels that had arrived not even a moment later.

They were high enough to be appealing, but low enough to keep you from falling over on your face. Gojo had texted an explanation that he figured you were out of practice in wearing anything other than sneakers and combat boots and to consider them training wheels.

You’d wanted, once again, to punch him in the face.

The kind of girl he liked was a stilettos kinda girl, you guessed, huffing to yourself as you sat down and twirled one of your ankles, stretching the muscle. Even the low heels were not entirely comfortable, but you’d manage.

Checking your makeup one last time, you picked up your own worn purse and slung it over your shoulder. Women who wore these kind of dresses and came in on the arm’s of other men and women like Gojo never had anything more than the smallest clutch— but you weren’t those women.

You made your way down to the lobby and were surprised to find a chauffeur waiting outside with a very very sleek European car of some kind. You weren’t great about those kinds of things, only noting the seats were made with soft black leather and there was even a divider built in like in a limo to give the passengers privacy.

The chauffeur ushered you into the empty car and you sat back with a sigh as silently he delivered you to the next destination. You had, in some small place, hoped Gojo would already be present.

Why he felt the need for such spectacle was beyond you, but maybe this was what was expected of a clan family son when he courted a young woman. It felt— weird. Nice, but weird. The drive was not overly long, the car coming to stop.

You knew this restaurant. Some fancy French-Japanese fusion place that charged a hundred dollars for a single plate with a broiled pear covered in wasabi or some weird shit. Already you felt your stomach churning with anxiety and encroaching regret.

This was gonna suck.

This was gonna suck so bad.

The chauffeur opened the door and you barely managed not to wobble on the pavement. Feeling stilted and exposed as other guests and couples regarded you with open curiosity and veiled judgment.

Clearly they were used to seeing the same people come and go from this restaurant and you were not one of them.

You clutched your bag tighter to your arm, hand reaching inside instinctively to find your phone and text Gojo you were out. This was over. Find someone else— when your surname was shouted from the door.

All eyes turned as if in sync to Gojo, wearing simple trousers and a white shirt tucked in. He didn’t even have a tie or a jacket, his dark glasses obscuring his eyes even as he looked right at you.

A few people tsked their disapproval, but they may as well have been ghosts for all the attention Gojo paid them. When you didn’t immediately make your way over to him, Gojo shoved his hands into his pockets and strode over to meet you.

He grinned, the lowering of his chin and the slow rise back up an obvious indicator he was sizing you up and didn’t care if you knew.

He whistled.

“Ow, ow!”

“Shut it— you know this dress could cover my rent for half a year?! And these shoes! I could buy a used car with this ensemble.”

“You even drive?”

“Not the point.”

He laughed again, loud and careless.

“Figured since you were dawdling you might need an arm to lean on.” Gojo said, offering your his elbow without removing his hands from his pockets, “Or perhaps…”

He feigned a gasp, “Are you feeling shy?”

“I’m leaving.” you deadpanned, managing half a turn before his hand was on your waist, turning you back. He took your hand, the feeling of his palm on your side still burned into your skin as he hooked your arm in his own.

You allowed it, leaning on him only a little. He looked pleased, smugly so, as he led you inside and to a table that was already set for two.

There was a wine glass sitting by your own plate. The one by Gojo’s was turned upside down and set to the side… a can of soda sitting, bright and out of place, in its spot.

“… where did you even get that.”

“Vending machine.” Gojo said simply and even kicked your chair out a little for you to take a seat. How flattering.

“Wine is for you, if you want it. Figured it might help take the edge off.”

You rolled your eyes, not bothering to wait for the server to return and simply tipping the bottle of red into your own glass.

“What about you?”

“I don’t drink.” He said, cracking the tab on his soda with a loud pop. Several eyes filtered your way, whispers behind hands and napkins as Gojo all but drained the can in one gulp.

“So— ground rules?” you said, unfolding a cloth napkin and settling it in a half folded triangle across your lap the way you saw other women doing.

“Straight in, huh? Alright. Terms.” Gojo lifted one finger, “As already discussed, you and I will be ‘courting’— dating. Whatever the fuck. I’ll take care of arranging the dates, you show up, act sufficiently smitten and in about a year give or take, we break up.”

Gojo lifted a second finger, “Two. In exchange, I have two first grade sorcerers who will back your promotion. And, as requested—“ Gojo’s voice dropped a fraction, almost grumpily, “—you’ll come with me on my missions for your first semi-grade probation.”

“Now ground rules. At any point either of us wants out, it’s done. No questions asked. But don’t think that means you get to ditch and just keep that first grade appointment. I’ll make sure you end up right back at a grade two.”

You sipped your wine, giving your mouth something to do than form some very choice words at that moment. Gojo noticed, his smile almost a snarl, but the expression quickly vanished. You had a funny feeling trying to hoodwink or swindle him would end very poorly for anyone.

“And when you develop feelings for me—“

“If.” You amended quickly, but Gojo ignored you.

“—when you develop feelings for me. You have to tell me and again, the engagement is over. You can keep your rank. No harm no foul. I can hardly blame you for falling for me.” Gojo said with a wistful sigh. You were grateful for the arrival of the first course, forcing you both to fall silent for a moment until they departed.

You had no idea what was on the plate. Some kind of salad? It was hardly a mouthful. Gojo didn’t even touch his silverware and feeling less than impressed with the cuisine, you didn’t either.

You drank your wine.

“Barring sickness or injury you are required to appear for every date I set. Including the ones where you have to meet other members of the main family.”

You frowned, but didn’t object.

“Wait— what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Is the engagement off when you develop feelings for me?” You said lightly, trying to play off your smile as wistful.

Gojo scoffed, his reaction almost enough to hurt your feelings… just a little bit.

“Non-issue. I don’t do feelings.”

“God, you sound like a fuck boy.” The words came out before you could stop yourself, the last syllable off your tongue right at the moment the server had returned to reclaim your plates. An eyebrow was raised and you hid your face down with a flustered cough.

By the time you looked back up, you got the joy of seeing Gojo staring at you from over his glasses, a broad and deeply amused grin on his face.

“Not non-issue. If I get the feelings rule you get the feelings rule. End discussion.”

Gojo shrugged, again not touching the newest course which was, to your extreme annoyance, some kind of grilled pear.

“You should slow down.” He warned in a sing song voice as you poured another glass.

“I’m not a baby— okay. So we got terms, we got ground rules. Anything else?”

“You can’t refuse my gifts.”

Your eyes narrowed sharply and he simply smiled and hummed with a shrug.

“It’s for appearances! Oh. Speaking of appearances—“ Gojo sat up, fishing something from his back pocket and sitting it on the table. You stared at the simple black box, fearing a vein might burst in your forehead at any moment.

“What is that.” You stated more than asked.

“Open it.” Gojo said, his voice light and encouraging as he nudged the box closer, “Come on, open it. Open it. You know you wanna, sweetie, light of my life, fire of my lo—“

You snatched the box up if only to stop him from finishing that sentence.

You swallowed hard, the sounds of the room fading out as you flipped open the box and found, sitting upon a small satin pillow— a… key?

You lifted it from the box, noting it even had a little custom keychain made to look like a white cat with a tiny blindfold.

“It’s to my apartment!” Gojo announced with a giddy laugh, clasping his hands together in a way that was entirely un-adult like.

“… I have my own place. Thank you.”

“In Kyoto. This is here, in Tokyo. Where you will need to stay for this all to work, remember?”

“Where will you stay?” You asked dryly, vaguely hoping his answer would be something other than what it was no doubt going to be.

“Very funny. You’ll have your own room—if you want it.”

“Why—“ your voice nearly broke and you had to take a moment to clear it, “Why uh— why wouldn’t I be wanting my own room?”

“Feelings are off limits, naturally. But if you want to take me up again on that offer from back in the day…”

The surge of cursed energy that rippled off of you was so strong Gojo nearly toppled backwards, his laugh gaining a somewhat nervous lift to it if only for just a moment.

“I’ll have my own room. My own locked room.” You bit out, feeling your face flushing hot and hating every second Gojo seemed to be enjoying your utter mortification, “Unless that is a problem.”

“Nope. Not at all. Probably for the best ultimately, I’ve been told I have a bad habit of dickmatizing folks.”

“… I’m sorry, you what.”

“Dickmatizing! Ya know. Like hypnotizing but with—“

“I got it!” You groaned, pressing your face into your hand. When did it get so damn hot in here? You snatched up your wine glass and finished off the contents, feeling even hotter.

“Is that all?”

“Unless anything comes to your mind, then yep.” Gojo finished, ignoring yet another course. You were almost tempted. The dish was some kind of meat, but the sauce drenched over it smelt sharply of something bitter and sour at the same time. You stomach recoiled at the thought and yet rumbled in protest to its growing hunger.

“So what do you think?”

“You’re disgusting?” you said flatly.

“I meant about the deal.”

You glowered openly at him. It was going to take a lot of practice to turn that deprecating expression you felt naturally pull unto your face at his sight into something loving and tender… but for first-grade ranking? For lessons on your Limitless? Fuck. Fuck you’d do it.

You poured the remainder of the bottle into your glass and polished it off in one shot.

“I accept.”

Gojo clapped his hands together, “Excellent! Now let’s get the hell out of here.”

“Huh?” You barely managed to get the questioning sound out before Gojo was up and out of his chair. You scrambled up, head rushing with the wine and the weirdness of this entire conversation. By the time you managed to catch up with him, he snaked out his arm and wrapped it around your waist, pulling you flush and warm against his side.

You about threw him across the room, but your attempts at a grapple were thwarted by the sudden thrumming of the familiar Neutral Limitless ability, stalling your moments to such a small speed you felt suddenly frozen.

The impulse to toss him passed and instead you let him escort you outside where the car was still waiting.

“Take us to the place, ya know the one.” Gojo said to the driver and in a surprising show of gallantry, actually held the door open for you to get in first.

“And open the back window. If she throws up, I’d rather it be on the pavement.”

You elbowed him in the chest— accidentally of course.

***

The car drive was a bit longer, taking you away from the glitz and glamor of this side of Tokyo and to what looked arguably as one of the most hole-in-the-wall noodle joints you had ever seen. The street kitchen was small, the counter open outside with a few bar stools. The smells of teriyaki and spices and cooking oils were heavy in the air and made your mouth water.

Gojo perched on one of the stools and you came to sit alongside him, watching as he ripped open a set of chopsticks and rubbed the splinters off.

He ordered quickly—yakisoba and yakitori. Along with several packages of mochi they kept behind the counter in the same kinda plastic bags you’d find at a convenience store.

Gojo had been right— you should have slowed down. The world had a light haze to it… a slight tilting. His hand on your back felt massive and overly warm as he guided you back to sitting straight.

“Eat, ya lush.” He ordered, piling noodles and chicken unto a smaller empty plate for you from his own, “C’mon.”

Gojo popped one of the mochi bags and dumped the sticky sweet confection right on top of your yakisoba. You grimaced, picking the sweet off and trying to wipe some of the sauce from it before you took a generous bite.

The food was greasy and delicious and abundant and cheap and your mouth was in heaven. Even having not used your Limitless since yesterday, every taste still felt heightened. Maybe it was the way your cursed powers tried to compensate from the wine, but everything somehow was more delicious.

You attempted to snag another piece of yakitori from Gojo’s plate, only to have your chopsticks blocked with a clack.

“Ah ah ah— hands off.”

“What’s yours is mine, right?” You chided, only to be dodged again in a movement faster than your eyes could perceive. Did he just use his Limitless to counter you? Feeling emboldened, you activated your own, the faint pulse of the energy so close together giving you the sort of deflecting feeling one experiences when holding two sides of the same magnet near together.

Repelling, shifting. Trying to shove the energy into a way that the two forces would collide rather than deflect.

You were concentrating fully. The minuscule movements invisible to even your eyes, but the feeling was there. A sort of blindsight where you didn’t need the Six Eyes to tell you what was happening— but it would have definitely helped. You flicked a glance up and lost your control, your chopsticks shooting away and nearly cracking one in two.

Gojo chuckled. It was the expression on his face that had distracted you. His eyelids were half dropped, his smile soft as he readied himself to deflect you again. Your energy was no match for his… but it matched. It was made of the same stuff. Controlled the same way. He could see, with the sharp clarity of his Six Eyes, every tiny precise movement you made with your cursed energy. A mirror of his own abilities in miniature.

He was playing with you. And all the sudden you felt as if a small knot in your chest had shaken free, the coil coming undone.

Was there anyone else on this Earth you could do such a thing with?

Feeling strange and suddenly shy, you drew your energy back in and refocused on eating from your own plate, grumbling at your loss.

A second later, Gojo’s chopsticks moved over your plate, dropping another helping of noodles in.

A small concession. A victory in it's own right, even if it had not won the yakitori.

“Sober up, will ya? But don’t eat too fast. I’m not cleaning up vomit, no way, no how.”

“You’re always so vulgar.” you murmured, speaking around a mouthful of noodles and mochi. Gojo turned and stuck his tongue out at you. A confirmation or a reprisal, you couldn’t be sure.

But regardless, it did something to you he had never managed to do before.

It made you laugh.

[filmmakerdreamst]

How Xena: Warrior Princess Allowed Me To Accept Myself

I was living in a city all alone and these two characters showed me that it was ok for two women to love each other.

In order to understand the following story, there’s something you need to know about me. I have always loved fiction. From the age of about 5 to 11, I loved books more than I loved people. I was a shy child who found it easier to emotionally engage with fictional worlds than the real one around me.

See, fictional worlds are created for your brain’s enjoyment. Their rules make sense. Events happen for a reason. The narrator tells you why characters behave the way they do, allowing you to empathize with them on a deep emotional level. Easy to understand, easy to identify with, easy to love.

But real people are complicated. The real world is complicated. And things are seldom laid out nicely in a coherent narrative format for you. Real things are much harder to love.

This emotional disengagement continued from the age of 11 onwards, although it was no longer as pronounced. My habit of retreating into fiction would fade during good times and come back in force during difficult or stressful periods. During the stressful periods of college, the rise of Netflix allowed me to become certifiably obsessed with my favorite TV shows. And naturally, I joined Tumblr in order to more easily fangirl with people who shared my interests.

Only for some peculiar reason that I didn’t care to examine, my interests were slowly gravitating towards girl-girl couples. Soon I was shipping, reblogging, and reading fanfiction almost exclusively about female couples. But I, who had always considered myself straight despite lacking interest in the boys around me, didn’t think this meant that I was gay. I probably just found female couples more emotionally satisfying. I was friends with mostly women, I was a woman myself, so it was natural that I just understood them better. Yeah, that was probably it.

Fast-forward to nine months ago. I was living in Boston and incredibly depressed about it. My job and my boss were making my life miserable and I had very few people to socialize with. I was making the rough transition from the constant socialization of college to the isolating pressure of a city where I had few connections. My days and nights were some of the loneliest I had ever experienced. I looked for something, anything, to lift the heart-crushing emotional silence.

My solution was the same one I always chose when I was dissatisfied with the real world; obsession with a new TV show. And thanks to my femslash-focused tumblr community, I knew just what my next feel-good show was going to be.

My tumblr friends had told me this: Xena: Warrior Princess is an action-fantasy show that enjoys a cult status, much like Buffy: The Vampire Slayer (which I watched and loved). The two shows were made in the same mid-to-late 90's era, with similar bad special effects and endearing campiness. But XWP is much… MUCH… more gay.

That was about all I knew about the show going in. And amazingly, that was all I needed to know to be excited about watching it. You’d think that fact would have told me something about myself, but no. The mental walls of denial were years in the building and needed more force than that to be shattered.

For anyone unfamiliar with the show’s premise, Xena: Warrior Princess is about the title character and her quest for redemption. You see, Xena did some bad things in her previous life on another show (Hercules: The Legendary Journeys). In her storied career as a warlord, she committed such petty crimes as genocide, the slaughter of innocents, that kind of thing. But now she has seen the light and wants to atone for her crimes. Except she can never undo the terrible things she did. All Xena can do now is help people on a day-to-day basis and hope that it’s enough for someone to show her mercy.

Which is already fantastic from a character standpoint. But there is a secret mirror to Xena’s journey that is not reflected in the show’s title, and that is Gabrielle and her character arc.

Oh! Gabrielle! When I met her in the very first episode, I loved her straightaway. She is a feisty, naive, talkative small-town girl who accompanies Xena on all her adventures. Her character quickly assumes paramount importance in the narrative. Gabrielle is Xena’s only friend. She comes to know her better than anyone else and love her for who she is, all the while believing Xena can reach redemption. Yet Gabrielle is not just a support system for Xena; she goes on her own heroic journey. The two character arcs intertwine and co-develop in a way I have never seen in any show before or since.

As each episode rolled by and their relationship grew in complexity, I found myself more and more engrossed. And I came to realize: this was something I wanted. The day I accepted my own desire was the day I accepted myself. What could be more strangling than denying the existence of your own feelings? Yet I had been doing this to myself for years — cutting off the possibility of being attracted to other women — without even realizing.

Before beginning the show, I thought the fandom had read in between the lines to construct a romantic relationship between the two characters, the same way as femslash shippers do in all other TV shows. Except not this time. This one is mind-blowingly different.

Not only does the narrative place utmost importance on the relationship between Xena and Gabrielle, but the actresses bring such multi-dimensional love to their parts. When I saw Lucy Lawless (Xena) and Renee O’Connor (Gabrielle) interact, I could so easily believe that these two women loved each other beyond friendship. Xena and Gabrielle display every kind of love you can think of. They protect and sacrifice for each other. They tease and flirt. They cuddle and console. They have inside jokes with each other. They dance sexily. They play pranks and drive each other crazy. They sweetly kiss. They come back from the dead together. They bathe together. They raise each other’s children. They meet in alternate timelines and fall in love all over again.

I could have left my mental walls of denial in place. I could have said to myself “oh yes, I want this. But with a guy.” But no. Lawless and O’Connor’s incredibly attractive faces and bodies broke down the door of my mental closet. Precisely because they were fictional, I felt safe to admit my attraction to them. One of the key mental blocks I had always had towards accepting any attraction towards other women was the thought that I was being creepy. That since they could not possibly feel the same way about me, it was wrong to feel the way I did. But in my mind, that barrier didn’t exist with fictional characters. They couldn’t feel anything for me. Therefore, it was fine to feel whatever I want about them.

The walls cracked. The water came rushing in. Oh my god. I am attracted to other women. Like, every day of my life. Those flickers in my stomach when I talk to an attractive female coworker suddenly make a whole lot of sense now. I now saw my historical awkwardness when talking to beautiful girls, which I always dismissed as “me being weird”, for what it was. All those short-term girl crushes on older girls throughout high school. How was I so sure they were platonic? That heart-aching infatuation I had with my best friend that lasted for years? Yeah, add that to the ‘definitely gay’ list.

Since then I’ve realized that my feelings are valid regardless of what others feel for me. Just because feelings are unrequited doesn’t mean they aren’t real. That’s what Xena and Gabrielle taught me. Their fictional example was the final blow to my rapidly-crumbling resistance to the idea of homosexuality.

In our culture today, so many forms of media reinforce heteronormativity. How many commercials have you seen that assume attraction between a man and a woman? How many billboards tell women that they need to look sexy for the men in their lives? How many times has a movie ended with the guy getting the girl? It’s the combined action of a thousand small rocks shifting to make a cultural avalanche. You can’t move against it. All you can do is stand still and try to maintain your footing against the current, to maintain your identity in the face of a world where you and people like you are often swept away by the mainstream.

Xena: Warrior Princess is one of those rare stories that dares to go against the grain. It celebrates a romantic relationship between two women as the most natural thing in the world. And in doing so, it provides a mirror for me and people like me to recognize themselves in. There we are. Look at us fly.

This story isn’t over yet. I still have a lot of work to do to accept myself, but thanks to Xena and Gabrielle I’ve taken one huge step towards living the open life I want to live. I moved on from that horrible job and lonely city, but in the end I’m grateful. Grateful that circumstances pushed me to the depths of loneliness necessary to bring down the prison I had built in my own mind.

- How Xena: Warrior Princess Allowed Me To Accept Myself by Lyra Hall

[thatkindofwoman]

I’m sweating more than I have in years. It could be the heat. Or the state of these “united” states. It could be my refusal to air condition my apartment. Selfish for that thick air dissipating before a storm comes rolling in. It could be the deep introspection isolation takes, or self education, or the fights I refuse to step back from. 

I remember having friends I no longer have. 

The light of the hardware store sign across the street just flickered out. Maybe a timer...

I find peace in meditating before bed these days. In personal pleasures. Cold brewed tea. A garden filled with the rewards of my singular labor. Dunking my body into the water trough I asked my mom for, now nestled in my backyard, once used for the since passed horses from the farm. 

Remembering. I remember when I did labor for others. So soft, treading carefully to provide for others, then roughly, forgetful, unsure. Those rewards not nearly as sweet. I’ll tell you that. 

I do miss the easy physical nature with friends now gone. God damn, what I wouldn’t give for soft affection, or even a crushing hug. I miss slightly sloppy kisses on my cheek, or even a rough harsh SMACK on the ass, and arms thrown around my shoulders. Flipping off a close friend with a grin on my face even seems nostalgic these days. Mirrored in my 20s, now seeking depth and sincerity while being devilish in my 30s.  

Intimacy seems to be around the corner on a never ending road. Just ahead. Maybe. Sickly sweet humidity makes me think of the wrestling of making out, roaming hands, exalted breaths from smiling mouths, words off the tongue between me and those caught in my web, me in theirs. Soaking wet, nude dancing in the rain, sharing kisses with a beautiful woman. Drenched after a skinny dipping session filled with me throwing back my head and living as a muse of affection and attraction from the callused hands of men who I’ll never speak to again. My bare shoulders pressed against a building as mouths spoke a wordless language. 

What will intimacy look like on the other side of this. Not a question, as you can see by my punctuation. 

I see wooing, yes, even in my impatience. And that I am. Impatient. I type that with a sly smile on my face. Oh, how to freely touch someone, reverence and slight belonging. Some of you lucky assholes don’t revel in the intimacy of free and safe touch these days, and I’m here to glare at you with my words. Complain not to me, fuckers. 

 I am a greedy mother fucker when it comes to the intimacies given to me, allowed to me, gained by me. I am a greedy mother fucker when it comes to the truth syrup of moments made safe. Safe. A laughable word in this current world. 

This lack of safety, and lack of physical affections makes me daydream of violence. A double edged sword I will not be shamed of. Accept me, my love, for exactly as I am. I live on the edge of fantasies of breaking bones, and sharp edges. 

Take my sweaty, conniving, tempted, argumentative, socially starved ass for what she is. Magnificent, learning, trying, the patron saint of failing. I will kiss your brow, and run my fingers through your hair, only to be pulled away wishing you the best as I’ll never see you again, or maybe just because sleep pulls me from you. 

I am finding with myself, moments given and taken away. I am my own keeper these last few years, a pandemic placing even more “responsibility” on my lap, distracted by my own care, I tend to move from here to there with the best of intention. We’ll see how long I can keep keeping. I have faith, but proof comes in reality I made a way too sour bunch of overnight pickles, and mouth puckered I refuse to give up on them. A talent or a torture? Who’s to decide. 

I lick my fingers after eating medium rare steak, I slice a lemon in half dunk it in sugar, and suck the sweet and bitter nature of it, no mercy, not even for myself. I pluck sun ripe tomatoes from the vines I planted and pop them in my mouth, braless, short shorts in my garden, dreaming of 15 acres and no visible neighbors. 

I dance through this apartment, not another soul stepping foot in residence in 133 days, I watch my 13 year old cat wither away daily, and my 2 year old cat chatter with birds on the other side of the screen window. I weep for the woman my grandmother was when I was 17, and I never knew. I weep for my mother as she gave me every good trait I posses, at the expense of her own path. 

I won’t lie to you. I learned how. I promise, I can lie prettier than most. My bottom lip going soft and shoulders dipping just how you’d like. Reading what you most like to hear. But it means nothing anymore, not my lies. They used to comfort. Not anymore. There’s nothing my half-heartedness will give to you that you couldn’t find on some corner of the internet. I won’t even lie to myself anymore, because she really doesn’t need that. 

I soak my hands in rain water, I leave those begging too much of a me, they’ll never see beyond their needs. 

I look in mirrors and love myself with words, and dance moves. I am training right this very moment for everyday for the rest of my life. 

I love myself with my mess, and my talents. The other side of this will surely not distract me from the true lessons learned this time around. 

I won’t be small, I won’t be quiet. I won’t be what someone demands of me, what someone desires of me because god fuck, damn, how fucking terrible to be a projection of someone else’s half-formed opinions, or their understanding. 

I will be the dark and terrifying thunderstorm rolling in, I am the break in humidity. I am the sweat rolling down your chest. I am the tickled of your hair on your neck. I am the way your ass shakes on a jump and skip. I am the flooded lawn, I am the wasp that sneaks into your open window. I am the corner taken a tad too fast on the backroads. I am the crunch of a garden cucumber in your mouth. I am olive oil, fattening you up, I am the perfect piece of ice on your tongue. I am the slippery grilled corn on the cob you’re delighted to eat. I am the flash floods that you watch cautiously on the road. I am the movie you devour to fill your soul when it feels empty. I am the sunset after a fucked day. I am foremost these things to myself, and I’d like to maybe someday be those things for you. Or maybe just one or two. 

[icharchivist]

Hi same nonny as usual haha! You asked for my thoughts on the spring troupe so now that I've finished the summer troupe debut I'm going to knock out two birds with one stone! I liked summer troupe a lot more then spring troupe. Not that I didn't like spring troupe! I just think that they didn't really communicate with each other?

The only reason why sakuyas issue with swordfighting was resolved was because masumi happened to be eavesdropping on a convo with the director, and why someone knew about itarus injury was because of citron noticing. I'm not saying there was no communication at all these two issues just. Bothered me so much the swordfighting one a lot more then the injury. The thing that bothers me about the injury is that itaru wasn't like. Told off for not telling anyone about his injury. Cause he could have seriously damaged his foot or something. I get that in the future there's probably going to be character development for itaru that lets him open up more to his troupemates. The swordfighting one just felt like a cop out to have a "moment" between sakuya and the director instead of having sakuya discuss that stuff with his troupe (which, bleh do not care for the characters flirting with the director at all. wish it wasn't there but I get why they do it.)

Despite my griping I did really enjoy spring troupe! They were fun! They just felt less trusting of each other then summer troupe at the end of day. And I get that char Dev will prob happen bout that but still haha. That's my thoughts on spring troupe! I could just be horribly misremembering the entire episode but oh well!

I know I said I'd also do summer troupe in this ask but it's already horribly long and I'm writing this on my phone. I'll get to that later. Thanks for reading my rambling that has not been proofread at all or edited. Hopefully it makes some sense hahaha. Thanks for introducing me to a3 it's tons of fun.

aaahh thanks for sharing!!!

honestly i kinda get where you’re coming from. I really love Spring, but it’s especially now in insight of their development. On first read, i think the thing especially was that the chapter was more about setting up some of the most major issues of the universe (the debts, the way  to arrange themselves in that new environment ect..) that therefore the characters issues may be not as focused as the others chapters?

(also for character flirting with MC there will be only 2 in main stories that do that a lot, one of which is Masumi, and the other isn’t much flirting as just hopelessly in love. Not much we can do about it but honestly once you move on from spring if this really holds you down, it will ease off at least, even if there’s a few thingss here and there stil)

Summer was the moment i really fell in love with the game, i really, really adore Summer’s dynamic and it was just. so good to go through.

As for the things you bring up about Spring, on one hand on first read i think i get you, but yeaaaah in insight of all we learn about the characters, it’s really not that far fetched ahah.

For Sakuya imo it’s really just that he freaked out because of his abandon issues and i don’t really see him discussing it with Spring yet at this point? Like. Sakuya is terrified of not being good enough and being abandoned as a result, like all of his relatives ever did. So he tries to compensate. When Masumi just brought up that they’ll just replace him, i don’t find it far fetched that Sakuya freaked out about it and failed to explain it to Masumi at the time. 

Those very same issues also lead Sakuya to hold on everything bad ever to himself. The reason he opens up to Izumi, more than her just coming to him there, is that she already proved before that she wasn’t willing to abandon him, if only by how she took up the theater because of his passion to start with. And, just, timingwise. 

And i think Sakuya wouldn’t have taken reassurances from his others troupesmates who have already made clear they believed in him, because i think Sakuya would be more crushed with the idea that they’re just being polite and kind with him. Because he knows he’s failing and the others’s way to reassure him would probably have made it worse. He needed reassurance 1) from the director who at this point has already started to be giving more constructive critisms, 2) Masumi, who’s the one who caused those insecurities by the fact he doesn’t hold back. But i don’t see him reach of to Masumi with how hostile Masumi has been to everyone up until that point. (i have more thoughts but that’d be me overreading it too but dKJFDLKF a3 makes my brain go brr)

As for Masumi, this kid has serious communication issues (only child with no friends and no parents around? oof) and i don’t think he would have reached out to Sakuya or even figured something was wrong otherwise.

Are those just easy way out for the writers? maybe, but that’s just how writing is isn’t it? if you want to make even some “artificial” conflict, you need to make it believable why this conflict exist even in the first place. 

Honestly the swordfighting issue doesn’t strike like that to me, and those are all about things that are shown in the Spring chapter itself, but i suppose since i also know those things are expended on, it does add a layer of “this was made with depth for their characters in mind” imo.

Also i think if Masumi hadn’t eardropped, Izumi would have talked to him about it, being the mediator and all of that, and i think Masumi would have understood then. I don’t think Masumi was unwilling to understand, but that he lacked the groundwork to understand it. and we mostly were spared from having to repeat the scene with Izumi telling him about it.

Idk if i see Sakuya managing to tell it to Masumi even after this talk? I think Sakuya is the kind to take all of his pain in silence and assume responsibilities for everything that goes wrong, and i don’t think he would have felt comfortable opening up with that, especially since, as he tells Izumi, he genuinely feels like *he’s* the failure about it (and as Izumi tells him, it’s not his fault if others people don’t try either. Sakuya was made to believe that he had to take full responsibility when a relationship doesn’t work because of his relatives, and i think he was set on doing the same with this Massu’s situation, and the reason he could share it with Izumi is because she’s not the person he’s taking responsibility for). On top of that, Sakuya remains Masumi’s elder, and Sakuya does want to be someone people rely on - he wants to be a big brother figure, and i think he wouldn’t have wanted or known how much of this responsibility he could share with Masumi knowing that. And i don’t think it’s healthy! but it’s perfectly understandable from Sakuya’s perspective and the specific way he shoulders responsibilities because i will fistfight his family his family sucked.

As for Itaru, on this one we only got the reveals about how deep this lack of trust Itaru had for people ran only recently, so imo early on you just need to take it at face value and hope when you get to know more, it’ll click. Realizing he doesn’t want to be alone anymore and wants to be more with Spring is a turning point from this set up about him, so he can only develop from here.

For why no one really told him off about it, i guess i can understand the grip ahah. imo i think everyone worried already enough that he was talking about leaving the company this was the priority to discuss and i do think talking about his ankle at that point may have not worked with the pacing of the emotional moment. I wouldn’t have minded seeing some of them being more worried about it in general though.

In the end the thing with Spring is that aside from Tsuzuru, they are all people who come from background where communication isn’t their forte. Sakuya fears he’s never good enough, Masumi never even had to face how lonely his life had made him until now (and i think he specifically lashes on the director because it’s the first time he feels like he wants a connection with anyone in his life and he doesn’t know what to do with it. I find his obsession creepy imo but i also see where it’s coming from), Itaru has severe trust issues and rather be solo in general, and Citron hides a lot about himself.

and i think, we have Tsuzuru has never been really alone ever, and he takes a lot of responsibility, (though there’s a few things about his background we learn later that shows he still has similar struggles than the rest of his troupe regarding some.. broken connection, which he vagues at in the Spring chapter (... which is something i only noticed on my reread knowing that so i wouldn’t blame you for not catching it))  but he’s also trying to do things for himself for once in his life. Ultimately he knows how to communicate more in general but he has that going on for him, and especially, i think his way to communicate or connect may be too foreign for the rest of the troupe for a smooth connection off the bat.

All of them are trying to connect in their own ways coming from those complicated feelings they have about connection imo... and i do find it fascinating. 

I see Spring a lot like, the kids who had to grow up too fast and the adults who are unhappy with where their adult lives have taken them and the expectations pushed upon them who yet are trying to cope on their own mostly because they have reasons to feel unsafe otherwise. (Tsuzuru is a bit in between imo bc he’s not “unsafe” yet and he’s already taking himself back in hands with the expectations things, but anyway, i am. trying to keep it short, believe it or not) And they’re still navigating where that leaves them as people, and where that leaves them in their connection with others, and especially with each other because in the end they’re all yearning to connect especially with one another, and just don’t know how to reconcile this desire with who they have been all this time to cope through all of this.

All of this is present in the Spring intro chapter but ^^” i could imagine that without having the full picture those aren’t things that may be easily picked up as important for their characterizations. But honestly there’s a throve of details in the writing to flesh them out when you know where to look and i find it fascinating. (but also i like. relived this chapter 5 times, 4 of which after i’ve seen most of their development, and my first read is so long ago i think i just overthink everything DLKJFDLKF and like, Spring was one of my least favorite at first read bc i struggled to connect with them, so it’s not like i don’t get you, it’s just. nowadays, spring is care spring is love and i cry over their intro chap a lot.)

Anyway i guess i get what you felt still, but, idk maybe i feel strongly about it ahah, i like the way the characters stand out from one another even in the moments that are probably just.. stupid, but in a “they wouldn’t know how to do better because of what’s holding them back” way.

i feel like “lack of communication” is a problem every troupe have to various degree and for different reasons, but the whole thing is about trying to figure out how to fix that and work it with them. Some are more forward than others (like, Summer, mostly because Tenma and Yuki are stubborn and loud and straightforward in their own way)(”than others” i have so much to say about this i’m holding back dLKFJD) but i think it depends also a lot on some thematic it wants to tackle and the spirit of the characters in each troupe. It changes as the story progresses but yeah after all, they are all strangers. And while the game mentions they have a few months to prepare for their play, it was reckoned that every play takes one month to prepare, so it doesn’t really give a lot of time on their first play to really figure out everything they need to work on.

Spring, in essence, as a season, is about blooming back after Winter, after sadness and hardship, and learning how to slowly open up again. So imo their intro chap have to reflect that slow progress for them. While Summer can afford to be more loud, straight to the point (and even there it’s not always easy), Summer is full of learning from their mistake, living in the Now, in the Moment. So their season thematic reflects a bit in their intro chap at least. (ofc they all grow from there though but that’s still interesting imo).

anyway i rambled LDFJDLKFJFDLK

I didn’t mean it in a way to say your reading is invalid though!! sorry if it feels that way, i’ve tried rewriting it a few times DLKFJDLFK i just have a lot of emotions about Spring and the points you mentioned made me think about some stuff about it. 

ANYWAY

if you want to share your thoughts about summer too and the rest you’re always welcomed o7 i’m glad you’re still enjoying your stay, and i hope you’ll keep enjoying the ride!

And Take care!

[hoaxsen]

| angst has been coming to me easy now and idk how to feel about that.

| tw; character death, in depth talk of death, mentions of blood and other gruesome parts, season three spoilers.

| word count; 1.8k.

It was all over, spreading like a plague inside the walls upon their arrival. The victory of Wall Maria, along with the near extinction of the Scouts. How many supplies were lost during it? How much destruction was there while it all went down? Does anyone have a true number on how many bodies were being carried back on those flatbed carts after that expedition? 

They were mostly parts of bloodied and mangled things, some weren't even able to be called a body. More like a massive piles of mixed dirt, debris and whatever part of the human body there could be. One hundred and ninety nine people, turned into one enormous jigsaw puzzle that anyone has ever seen. How many carts were used for that, and which cart did this specific body rest upon? 

This body held the features of bright blue eyes, that the captain of the Scouts could sometimes find himself staring into for hours on end. Unknowingly at that. Blonde hair just swept back and kept so neat with its undercut. Sometimes Levi wonders if it was soft to the touch, it doesn't look to be hard, or dirty. Just right, minus those brows. If anything there were times where Levi wanted to trim the blonde bricks of hair off Erwin's face himself. 

Now, days like that will never come. For the sole purpose, of Erwin Smith being deceased. Giving his life up to his stupid cause and dream, this isn't what Levi meant by plundering your dream and lead those crying brats to hell. Was it selfish of him to think that Erwin might come back alive for him? It was, wasn't it? The man having to live through this shit as the leader, making gambles that no one knew how the hell they paid off. Let's not forget about the cadets and soldiers lost along the way in his gambles. A devil among men, though it was Levi wanting to be the one to raise hell right now. Bring a darker hell to the one on this very Earth for the fact that he chose to revive Armin instead of Humanity's Hope. 

Cold, and hardened steel grey hues watched as his body was pulled away, riding alongside on his own horse with this cart. Levi felt only himself at fault, what if he did revive Erwin? Despite the small specks of rocks, falling out and shredded intestines, and lack of life in the blonde's eyes, how would he look taking on the power of the colossal titan? Would he have looked the same as the treacherous Bertholdt, or better? If anything, he'd be alive right now. . .fighting a war once more in this hell. Yes, it was selfish, but Levi Ackerman had his reasons to be selfish in a time like this. Bringing back Erwin instead of Armin wasn't just going to be for humanity, it was also going to be for his own desires. To stop toying with the feelings the ravenette has for the blonde, to stop the daily lies about his ' small crush ' being just a phase. 

The captain never even got to make good on his promise before the commander passed. Wanting so hard and bad to end the Beast Titan, to make him feel the pain Erwin did before his final moments. Hopefully that chance comes back for him some other time. How badly Levi needs it, it'd only be fitting since Erwin gave up his dream for the wall retake to even have happened and succeed. 

For all Levi could do now, was regret and hope that Erwin's funeral would bring him into a small state of piece. Since the ex-commander was already in a permanent state of his own, never to be disturbed. The Ackerman slowly starts to wonder to himself, which kind of suit would really bring out a dead man's eyes? For blue, it had to be a subtle white, right? An ashen grey? Whatever color it was going to be, Levi knew he'd detest it. Knowing it'll be the final suit he sees Erwin in. 

Fast forward a bit to the lowering of the old Scouts' commander into the ground, Levi stayed behind a little ways after the ceremony. Standing before Erwin's grave, a short sigh leaving him as he placed a hand on Erwin's tombstone. 

Erwin Smith 

xxxx - xxxx 

Humanity's Beacon of Hope.

The words Levi read over, and over, and over again. Humanity's Hope, snuffed out a little ways too soon. Levi just had to wake up and face the music, it was bound to happen one day or another. He just wishes that day came a little later than this. Brushing his hand over the words, better now to say this before he keeps it inside for too long. He already regrets not saying this to him when he was alive. 

" How many of these have we attended for our fallen? Now look at you, dumbass. Right there with them, tell Petra I said hi when you see her. " 

His last chance to say this all know, because whatever God out there knows that Levi wouldn't visit Erwin's grave again after this. For the small grudge he'd hold against himself for using the syringe on Armin. 

" I followed you into the fire, made it out with a few scrapes. Though you were burned, still had the guts to carry on more bravely than me. . .even make a choice with that odd line. ' What if there is humanity outside the walls. ' Or some shit like that, and then I realized, and knew. . .that was how you were plundering your dreams and leading those crying brats to hell. " 

Unbeknownst to the captain, he wasn't alone. Just standing from afar, was another grieving heart. Armin Artlet, another soul wanting to say an unspoken peace to their old commander. But ended up seeing Levi there before him. 

" It's not fair you know, Erwin. Or that just might be me being selfish right now, yeah sounds like it. A biased opinion, since I fucking loved you and didn't have the guts to say it. Wanna know why? Cause I'm a coward. Since people I love keep leaving me in ways like this, death. Am I that detestable that death is the only way out? Gotta be, shitty way to go if you ask me, but probably your only way. Call it a curse, I guess. Sadly shit like this happens in the fucked world. I didn't even want to use it on Artlet, but you made your choice. So I had to make mine, fucking bastard. " 

Now that was a surprise to the little eavesdropper in the back, covering his mouth with his hand to not make a sound. Azure eyes bugging out of his head as the captain droned on. Armin himself wasn't even sure why he was saved, wouldn't Erwin have been a better pick? The power of the titan wasted on him, that's how it sounded. On the bright side, the colossal titan was in their arsenal with Eren's titan. Just with the wrong user in Artlet's mind. 

" It's not fair, you asshole. You get your peace, and leave me behind in this hell with a bunch of brats! Yes, they can pull their own weight. But you're not leading them anymore, instead it's gonna be someone else who can't live up to your name. All because I got emotional and saved that runt, when I knew, even with Hanji, that you were the better pick! A massive fuck up on my end, but then a small lived victory right? We have another titan ready to fight for us when needed. But I want you here! It's not fair, you trusted me to do the right thing with that weird liquid, and I don't know if I did! I promised myself that I'd follow you wherever, why did you have to go somewhere I can't go yet?! You and your stupid gambles, well make one with the devil down there and win, come back goddamn it! " 

At this point, Levi was screaming to a grave on the verge of tears. From standing to dropping on his knees, the turned up dirt from a freshly dug hole in the ground was staining his pants. Giving him the feelings of touching the underground floors, though this time he didn't care. Fighting back an attack of tears, his hands digging into the soil and gripping it. Dirt being trapped in his fingernails, a fierce look on his face with a few stray falling tears from his eyes. 

" I promise you, I'll make that sonva bitch pay. Along with aiding in to see that your final goal, your final dream is fulfilled. Even if I have to  die to make that happen. " 

It was a footstep, and the use of sharp senses that brought Levi out of his moment. Spinning around quick as could be, just to be met with a crying, tear stained face of one of his cadets. This was Levi's moment of vulnerability, being seen by Armin as if privacy wasn't a thing. Though now, the man couldn't hold it against the boy, dusting off himself to be free of the dirt and grime. Levi sent Armin a small glare, no words have been spoken yet, and not one really knew what to say. 

" Captain . . . I'm sorry, but you should have us--. " 

" Can it brat, I dunno how much you heard, and I hate repeating myself. But I'll make an exception, Erwin made his choice. I acted on it, now you might have to step up to bat. " 

Levi's words drew a small gasp from Armin, making him want to roll his eyes. 

" No one can live up to be Erwin, but I trust that you know what you're doing. Don't make me regret saving you now. " 

" Y-Yes sir! But can I ask a question? " 

That made a brow raise on Levi's face, a sign for Armin to carry on with what he was saying. The boy had to take a deep breath to even get the first word out. It almost made Levi scoff at a time like this. 

" Y-You l-love Commander Erwin, sir? Is-Is that true? " 

The stuttering fool really had the balls to ask. The captain almost looked impressed, but at the same time angered somewhat. 

" Yeah, I loved him, Artlet. A main factor playing on in why I wanted to use the syringe on him. But something happened during it, like I said. Don't make me regret it. " 

All he got was a frantic nod from the other blonde, even a salute for some reason. Levi responded with his own nod back, figuring now that his time alone with Erwin was up. Looking behind him at that grave, he sighed, his eyes narrowing somewhat. 

' Don't worry, Erwin. You won't be along for long, I said I'd follow you right? Into that same fire I'll soon be going. ' 

He whispered out, making his way to leave now. Going as far as to pat a startled Armin on the shoulder. His own line echoing inside his head to help cope with this, just tweaked a bit this time. 

' Plunder all your dreams, and lead those crying brats to victory. In his name. ' 

[daily-dose-of-imagines]

ᴍɪꜱᴜɴᴅᴇʀꜱᴛᴀɴᴅɪɴɢꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ | ᴍᴀᴛꜱᴜᴋᴀᴡᴀ x ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ | [ᴀᴅᴍɪɴ ᴋᴏ & ᴀᴅᴍɪɴ ᴛ ᴄᴏʟʟᴀʙ]

Hello hello~! This goes out to our anon from when we first reached 1000 followers! We apologize this took so long to get out, but here it is! Long story short, as we reached our 1000 count we had received this request from one of our followers~! Admin T and I had then decided to put a collaborative effort to write this out~! It’s quite long, but we really hope you like it!

Writing wise, Admin T was the POV of lovely reader, and I was the POV of Matsukawa~! 

Again, thank you so much for the love and support you all have given us~! We really appreciate it~!

» » Admin 𝕋 & Admin ᴋᴏ

»»————-　♡　————-««

She always loved him. From the very first time they met, to the first time he held her in his arms when she felt like the world was collapsing around her. He was her best friend, advisor, confidant, right-hand man. His name was like chocolate on her tongue; sweet, delightful, and always made her giddy when she tasted it. He made her chest tightened with a heat she had never felt for anybody else, a feeling she never wanted to let go of. His touch, his laugh, his words. All of it was everything and anything she ever wanted.

But, she couldn’t tell him, She couldn’t even utter the words “I love you,” too afraid of what the result could be. Too afraid she would lose her best friend, her confidant, her right-hand man. It would be lonely, without him.

And that is something she could never live with. 

Intimidating and ever the observant male, it comes to the surprise of many-- mainly his teammates-- when he announces his feelings for their manager. She was, in short, the only one who could ever make his heart flutter in the most unexplainable ways. A smile worth a thousand words. Brilliant (e/c) hues that could without a doubt light up even the darkest of rooms. It was cheesy without a doubt. Even Matsukawa couldn’t grasp the fact that he was feeling such emotions. 

Yet why hadn’t he confessed his emotions? Even Oikawa, the residential ‘popular with the ladies’ captain had sat down with him in hopes of persuading the middle blocker to confront his own emotions. With their captain talking to him, the team was sure that the male would follow through. Instead, they were all delivered a shock when Oikawa had announced that they should mind their business and to allow their middle blocker to go at his own pace. No matter how painful and irritating it was.

When questioned why the response was simple: 

“She deserves better than me.” 

A heavy atmosphere would soon follow the softly spoken phrase and the conversation itself would be dropped. Noticing this, the middle blocker would avidly navigate the conversation out of the awkward silence that would follow after being pestered about his -- what he liked to call -- lack of a love life.

Despite this, the usually easy-going giant couldn’t read the signals being sent his way. The obvious signs that were practically being smacked in his face flew right over his head. 

Before any of his teammates could elaborate as to why (y/n) and him are the perfect couple, Matsukawa’s crush lightly knocked on the locker room door, then opened it, looking around cautiously. “Sorry to interrupt whatever was going on, but I need to close the gym and locker soon, so I need you guys to hurry up.” (y/n) said to the team, glancing towards Matsukawa a couple of times, but never quite looking him in the eyes. 

“We’ll be out soon, (y/n), thank you.” Oikawa said in a sing-song voice, waving her off as she closed the door. But before it could fully block her view, she called out to Matsukawa. “I’ll be at the front of the school until you’re done so that we can walk home together. I have some important news to tell you.”

And with that, (y/n) gripped the doorknob and closed it, quickly walking away from the locker room. She grabbed her school bag, and let out a deep sigh, her heart beating way too fast for her liking. Telling Matsukawa she needed to talk to him was entirely improvised, she didn’t even know why she told him that. It wasn’t a lie, she did have something she needed to talk with him about, but (y/n) didn’t think she would tell them then and there. With everyone watching the two of them, their eyes boring into her face as she stumbled on her words. It was embarrassing to say the least. 

(y/n) heaved out another sigh and crouched down near the gate located in the front of the school, rubbing her forehead in exhaustion. Hopefully the guys don’t think anything of what she said and just let it go.

Of course, they didn’t let it go.

Back in the locker room, the boys all looked at each other, silently asking each other just what she needed to tell Matsukawa privately. “I wonder what she wants to tell you.” Oikawa piped up, voicing what everyone was thinking. He gazed over to Matsukawa, watching the flow of curiosity, suspicion, and anxiety flash through his eyes. Ever so slowly, Oikawa grinned, knowing exactly what was going to happen. “Well, since it’s just for your ears, Matsukawa, you better hurry up so you can figure it out, and then tell all of us!” He exclaimed, Matsukawa’s teammates whooping in agreement. 

Even with the cheerful and supportive atmosphere, the male in question couldn’t help but feel a sense of anxiety overwhelm him. He should’ve felt excited, nervous, hell even ecstatic. Instead, he felt an odd sense of dread build up in his throat as he could only thickly swallow the unwanted emotions. This itself was seen more so as a general nervous tick by the rest of his teammates as the congratulatory slaps to his back were nothing more than empty motions. Perhaps he was overthinking things, but even Matsukawa couldn’t deny the fact that despite his normal mellow and somewhat aloof attitude, he could still feel the strong emotions of jealousy and want.

It didn’t help that he had heard strange rumors circulating throughout the classes about (y/n). Initially speaking, Matsukawa didn’t seem to invest himself into her personal life; but as his crush on her grew and the relationship between them blossomed into something where it could go in either direction, he couldn’t help but feel the need to be involved in her everyday endeavors. 

“I’ll..be heading out first.” 

The slight tremble in his voice went unnoticed by his teammates-- and even if it was noticed, none felt the need to bring it up-- as he hurriedly packed his belongings before subconsciously making his way towards the front entrance. What exactly would she tell him? With all this mind-numbing thinking, the middle blocker hadn’t even noticed that he was brought before the beautiful sight of (y/n) leaning against the wall. 

It should’ve been cheesy. A cringe-worthy moment that anyone could say looked like a typical anime scene, but even with those accusations, Matsukawa couldn’t deny the fact that she looked ethereal. The warmth of the evening sun glow framed her features in a fairy-like way that made his heart skip a couple of beats. Perhaps he was overthinking this, maybe he should listen to her words instead of the baseless rumors that fluttered throughout the school.

“What did you need to tell me?”

“Oh--” (y/n) stuttered out, letting out a surprised squeak, “Jeez, don’t scare me like that.” She muttered, putting her hand on her chest, trying to get her breathing to become even again. “How about we start walking before I start talking. I need to, uh, build up my courage, so to speak.” She told him and smiled when he nodded his head in acceptance. (y/n) started to walk to the direction of her home, Matsukawa directly beside her, closer than usual. She could feel his heat from his body since he was so close. It made her own body tingle with the need for him to wrap his arms around her and make her feel safe and secure. But, she coughed into her hand, and distracted her mind from those types of thoughts. “So about the thing I wanted to talk to you about.” (y/n) started, making Matsukawa gaze down at her.

She saw a glimmer of something in his eyes when he peered down to her, though she couldn’t quite pin what the emotion was, but it didn’t look like anything positive. (y/n) watched as he fumbled with his school bag, shrugging back onto his shoulder, looking to the ground and then back to her. “Oh. Yeah. What is it?”

(y/n) chuckled at how uncomfortable he looked, but could also feel the discomfort rolling off her own body. “I--I have a date this weekend.”

A jolt of pain. One that he was unaccustomed to quickly shot down his spine as he fought the urge to suddenly clutch at his chest. He knew. Matsukawa knew very well that when she had asked for his appearance that something was going to be brought up. Whether it was good or bad, the middle blocker wasn’t sure, but the telltale sign of the gut-wrenching emotion he had felt earlier was suddenly unwelcome. Perhaps he should’ve avoided this. An excuse of sorts to avoid the inevitable. 

“...Is, is that so?”

The words felt foreign on his tongue. The voice that came out practically unrecognizable to the male as he forced a carefree smile on his face despite the raging waves of jealousy that splattered across his heart and mind. 

It should be me.

Simple yet complex in its way, the words stayed hidden in the depths of his mind as he forced his gaze away from her towards the breathtaking scenery. A chance to distract himself from the desires he locked away deep into his chest.

She witnessed as his eyebrows furrowed and his breathing stopped, but only for a moment. It looked like Matsukawa was going to vomit any time now. And as any good friend would do she stopped her walking and patted him on the back. “Hey, you okay? You suddenly got really pale and sick looking.” She asked, setting down her bag to further examine his condition.

He now looked like he was going to either cry or punch a wall. But, he didn’t move, just stood there, booking through her, as (y/n) tried to catch his attention. The setting sun was behind her, making the glisten of unshed tears more apparent to her than before. “Matsukawa, seriously, what’s wrong? Is it because I said I have a date this weekend? I’m sorry, I knew we were going to do something this weekend, but I totally forgot and when he asked me out, I completely blanked, and the fact that Oikawa of all people would ask me out. I was  shocked.” She explained, taking her hands away from his body and started to fidget.

A bitter taste decimated his taste buds as he fought the urge to show his clear displeasure at the newfound information. Though it wasn’t like it wasn’t unexpected, if he was being honest with himself Matsukawa had the aching feeling that this was part of Oikawa’s strange elaborate scheme. Though for what? The middle blocker wasn’t sure. It was true that Aoba Johsai didn’t have a manager -- much like any other volleyball team they’ve met; save for the select few -- thus the deliberate doting and strange protectiveness that he felt, and was sure his fellow teammates felt, was one of mutual understanding.

So why did he still feel this piercing pain in his chest? 

“Ah no, it’s not that. I just thought of something rather unpleasant. I didn’t mean to worry you. We can always move our plans, what matters is that you’re still able to live how you want to. I’m sure being the manager of the team and being a student has it’s woes. So if someone takes interest in you, you should try it. Right?”

A hypocritical statement. Mentally grimacing, Matsukawa made a mental note to follow his own advice. Even with that in mind, the sudden urge to call the team captain rang prominently in his mind, and before he knew it he began to project some of his subconscious thoughts.

“...not like I could treat you any better anyway…”

Soft and ghostlike, the words gently graced the space they shared. It took him a moment, but after realizing those words parted from his lips Matsukawa offered her a forced smile as an awkward laugh tumbled out of his mouth.

“Ah, sorry. Ignore what I said. I genuinely hope you enjoy your time with Oikawa-san, (y/n).” 

She watched his back as he continued to walk toward his home. She wanted to catch up and take him by the hand, tell him that she’ll cancel and they can just hang out in his room for the weekend. They can play his favorite games. 

But. That face. That horrible expression that contorted on his face made her want to cry. He looked like he was in so much pain. And the worst part is that she didn’t know why. She didn’t know how to help him. That’s all she wants to do. She never, ever, wants to see him like that.

Without thinking she started running toward him, taking him by the hand and pulling him back. “Matsu, What is wrong? Tell me, please.” she pleaded. He slowly inhaled, then exhaled before turning his body to face (y/n).

A jolt-- rather a sign that brought him out of his haze induced state. Slowly he brought his gaze to her. Impenetrable dark brown orbs bore deeply into her own (e/c) as he couldn’t help but feel a smile grace his features. Why? Matsukawa wasn’t quite sure himself. In all honesty, it felt natural to him. 

“...it’s nothing munchkin. You know me if there was something on my mind I’d tell you the moment I’ve gathered my bearings. Stop being such a worrywart.”

Despite the jovial and teasing tone that escaped his lips, Matsukawa couldn’t help but feel a headache begin to formulate in the back of his mind. It was without a doubt that once in the comfort of his own room he’d have a chat with his captain. 

“Come on, let’s get you home before you get lost. The team would have my head if I let our only manager get lost on her way home.”

She saw that he didn't want to talk about it. The way he smiled and how strained it was, she knew it was the end of the discussion.

So, she played along. She played along because whatever was happening, she didn't want it to explode in her face. "I could never get lost, not with you here, right?" She said, putting on her own fake smile. (Y/n) started walking again, this "time using a faster pace than usual. 

She went ahead of Matsukawa, so he wouldn't have to see her face, and the way it showed her confusion and pain. It was silent between them, her best friend not saying anything and neither did she. What could she say anyway? It was starting to become awkward and if she were to sputter a phrase out now, it would just be even more awkward. 

And for the rest of the way, until she stood in front of her home, with Matsukawa beside her, did she say something. "Well, I'll tell you all about the date when it's over, okay?" She told him, hoping for some type of positive response that didn't result in Matsukawa pursing his lips to hide the continuous pained expression.

Another pang of guilt pierced his heart as he couldn’t help but feel a wave of sorrow overtake his mood as he kept his gaze from her distant form. Despite this, the middle blocker pushed forth with a gentle smile and his usual calm and leisurely soothing tone of voice. 

“I expect all the juicy details. You wouldn’t keep them all from me now, would you?”

The teasing remark came by briskly, a change in which he hoped would lighten the dampened mood that begrudgingly made itself well known between the pair on their journey of dropping one another off. 

"Of course I will. We are friends after all. I tell you everything!" (Y/n) said then waved him off before going inside her to take a well deserved bath.

Returning the wave with a slight gesture of his own hand, Matsukawa watched as she hurriedly rushed into her home. Once she disappeared behind the wooden door, the male finally turned in the direction of his own home before finally making the quick journey home. Throughout the small trip, his mind was muddled. Emotions of all sorts ranging from raging jealousy to utter confusion and lastly betrayal intermingled with one another in his heart as a storm brewed over his head. 

Upon arriving home, the middle blocker made a direct beeline for his bedroom. A couple of half-hearted spoken words of return were given to his parents as he brushed past their curious expressions. Once the door to his bedroom clicked shut, a breath he didn’t know he was holding was finally released as he slumped against the sturdy frame.

“What the hell is he even thinking…”

With a shake of his head, Matsukawa pushed himself off of the door and towards his bed. Along the way, he let his backpack slowly drag itself down from his shoulder and onto the floor as he fished his phone out of his pocket. A moment barely passed as his fingers had instinctively dialed the captain’s phone number as he free-fell onto his bed. The dull thump that echoed in his room became nonexistent as he hyper-focused on the ringing dial tone. Distracted brown pupils found themselves searching for something-- anything to keep him from blowing up the moment Oikawa answered the phone; and luckily a peculiar speck on his wall managed to serve as a perfect distraction as Oikawa’s voice rang clearly into his ears.

“Ya-hoo~ Mattsu-kun~!”

“...Captain.”

“Eh? Why the cold shoulder? Didn’t you like what our lovely manager told you?”

“Cut the bullshit and explain yourself before I tell Iwaizumi-san what’s going on.”

He didn’t mean to sound like a jealous boyfriend-- but the instinct came almost naturally. It wasn’t a secret that Oikawa had a Fanclub, nor was it a secret that he had quite the flirtatious streak. It just riled up the middle blocker. Out of all the girls, why did it have to be her? Oikawa was well aware of his feelings for her, so why? The confusion and bitter feeling he felt did nothing but stay in the forefront of his mind as he barely paid a dime to Oikawa’s pointless blathering.

That was until the captain said something he never expected to hear.

“This was part of my plan to get you and (y/n) together you know! I didn’t think our Matsu-kun would get so jealous and protective so easily~ It’s admirable~!”

“...Plan?”

“Were you not paying attention? Oh, how my heart aches! My own teammate is not even paying attention to his captain when he’s giving you such wonderful advice!”

“Cut the dramatics and explain...please.”

“Hehe~ Well since you asked so kindly, the plan was going to be me asking her out, but you’d be the one actually attending the date!”

“...huh?”

“Oh come on, you can’t tell me it isn’t foolproof! It also gives you the chance to properly confess! I expect to see great news this coming Monday! Now I have to go~ there’s a new theory on extraterrestrials coming out and I’m making Iwa-chan watch with me after this volleyball match!”

Before he could even get a word in, the line went dead as nothing but silence filled his ears. It took him a moment, but as Matsukawa finally processed the information he was presented a flush of red finally overtook his features as he brought an arm up to shield his eyes as he couldn’t contain the giddy smile that now graced his features.

Despite the chaotic mess that his captain had managed to scrounge up, it seemed that he had a good heart. Even with his quirky attitude and flamboyant personality, the captain of Aoba Johsai never failed to bring all sorts of challenges to the team. 

“Damn you Oikawa, you could’ve at least warned a guy before you decide to act like cupid…”

Once properly calmed down, the male persistently texted the alien fanatic of a captain, the underlying details of said conversation being that he had to prepare for the new upcoming date with (y/n). The only thing that really sat in his mind now was giving her the perfect confession he could muster up whilst giving her a wonderful first date. 

That following weekend, Matsukawa began his morning bright and early. The questionable looks his parents gave him became ones of utter glee and mischief as they watched their son prepare for his first date. The small and adoring antics of perfecting his outfit whilst mannerisms were overlooked by his parents as they gave him a knowing smile. 

Even if he wanted to say something in defense, the middle blocker couldn’t help but shy away at his parents’ knowing glances. With a brisk wave and a mention of his leave, Matsukawa made his way towards the designated meeting spot that Oikawa had originally planned for. With his heart beating erratically in his chest and the sudden rush of adrenaline that flooded his veins, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of fear and excitement as he neared the familiar scenery of the town plaza.

Wearing a long flowery dress, (y/n) nervously walked to the nearby town plaza , where she was planning to meet Oikawa for their date. The dressed up girl didn't get a lot of sleep last night, her nerves keeping her up. She didn't even like Oikawa, but she needed to do this. To forget about Matsukawa, so that her and Matsukawa could remain friends, and not ruin their relationship. 

Gripping her purse, she continued to the designated location, looking left and right to see if she can find her date. Huffing, she stomped around the plaza, peering around people to see if she can find Oikawa. But surprisingly, she found her best friend instead, sporting a nice button up and jeans. Tilting her head, she saw him fidget with his shirt before looking around, then making eye contact with (y/n), smiling at her, his eyes gleaming.

She started walking toward him, still confused as to why he was there. "Matsu, what are you doing here?" She asked him. 

Heavenly. That’s all he could think of as his gaze fell on her confused form. To him, it was endearing to see the tilt of her head. The light change in the pitch of her voice as she questioned his sudden appearance. Instinctively, he walked towards her with his hands in his pockets. Though when finally faced before her, he removed one of his hands. A brisk move and he suddenly found himself gently ruffling her hair as an endearing smile graced his features.

“Something that I should’ve originally taken into my own hands. Don’t tell this to him, but he has my thanks for today.”

Before she could further interrogate him, he went to gently grasp her hand. Almost instantly, he felt a sense of warmth flood his heart as he wove their fingers together. A light blush dusted his cheeks as he gave her another smile before gently tugging her along.

“Besides, I’m pretty certain that I can prove to you that I can be a much better date than Oikawa. Now let’s go, don’t think I forgot about your tendencies to forget to eat when you’re nervous (y/n).”

[promiseofthepremise]

what did you think about cherry? plot? direction? style? acting?

oh man idk why you care to seek out my opinion but I do have thoughts just @ tumblr don't eviscerate me for having opinions about a movie ajskfla

Okay I'm gonna try to be concise about this because as @pursue-solitude knows (and has been submitted to) i can go on about this stuff for hours lmao

Gonna preface this by saying if you liked Cherry I am not attacking you! I am not even attacking the Russo Brothers! I am simply Doing Critique because 1) I've been directly asked to and 2) It's kinda my gig

If you want a real film critic to be more eloquent about it I think both the Roger Ebert and Rolling Stone reviews do a pretty good job of expressing some of my bigger issues with this movie.

The short answer is I did not like it very much.

The longer answer is that from watching interviews with the Russo's about their intentions with this movie and watching the movie itself, I think it's pretty safe to say that they missed the mark on a lot of levels.

They wanted to realistically depict the lives of Cherry and Emily, right? Wanted to take on these topics of great magnitude (the Iraq war, the economic crisis, opioid addiction) and make the audience feel connected to them.

But here's what happens when you take that story and you weigh it down with not just one or two stand-out stylistic techniques, but a whole heaping handful of them with: voice over narration, chapter cuts, on-screen text, various clashing visual techniques, fourth-wall breaks, and I'm pretty sure something else I'm forgetting at the moment. What happens is you create something so visually chaotic that it actually tends to separate the audience from the characters on screen.

Don't get me wrong, I /adore/ experimental film and I love movies that aren't afraid to go weird places and try new things, and I even commend the Russo's for trying to do just that, I just don't think that what they have done here 1) actually counts as experimental film (just because they're personally experimenting with techniques they've never used before doesn't mean that those techniques haven't been around for decades or are in any way experimental in nature. Cherry is actually a pretty traditional narrative-- they even show us where the act breaks are.) or 2) successfully tells the very human story they claim to have set out to tell.

There's a place for movies that draw attention to the production of them (ie with things like fourth wall breaks and narration that remind you they're a movie and not a real thing happening in front of you), but those movies generally have different goals than what the Russo's lined out for Cherry.

It's a hodge podge of visual language markers that make the whole thing feel like a film student who's throwing a bunch of spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks, except the film student gets a pass because they're not experienced industry professionals with tons of resources and people on their team who could help them break some of this stuff down.

The pacing of it is strange and fast in a way that doesn't give anything going on any space to breathe. It's kind of cut, believe it or not, like an action/adventure movie, to the point where I was begging to just see the actors have the opportunity to perform in this thing. Because the actors have chops! They gave some very nice performances which were, in my opinion, majorly impeded by the way they were shot and cut together.

Which is to say they could have given /great/ performances but we don't get to see the depth of it because the Russo's are too busy making a statement with every individual shot and thus ultimately making no statements at all.

I have a lot to say about the characters and the writing as well, but I  haven't read the book and don't know how much of that comes directly from the source material so I'll just say I understand that they wanted us to be able to put anyone in Cherry and Emily's shoes, but these characters were so devoid of personal motivation outside of each other, so lacking in traits other than their relationship and then later on their addiction, that they were /too/ flat to see a real person in there. (Especially Emily who was, to take words out of @pursue-solitude‘s very smart mouth, treated as somehow less than a plot device). It's the little details, the complexities of a person that helps us to relate to them and I just didn't see that here.

I would also be remiss not to mention the way characters of color in this were treated. Killed off or made unnecessarily aggressive in a way that discounts the directors' attempt to not have an all-white cast, which from what I understand (again not having read the book) might have been the case had they not race bent some characters or added in others.

My final point is about the ending. It's bad.

It's bad because it makes me question what the intention behind making this movie actually was. If it was to tell a real human story, why would we take three minutes out of a two and a half hour film to cover a DECADE, let alone what is probably the decade in which Cherry experiences the most personal growth?

The answer is I think very well summed up by this quote from that Rolling Stone review I linked at the top: "The long arc of directorial self-satisfaction bends toward, not justice, but easy redemption. It’s as if the Russo’s are conceding the already-obvious. We never promised you the story of a life. All that really mattered was the freak show."

As I said, this is just the surface level stuff and I could talk about film critique of any sort for hours, but I feel like i've gone on longer than you meant for me to with this ask so I'll be quiet now lmao

thanks ✌️

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @amayiashae

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a seesaw shape. your life focuses on different ideals and interests, often constrasting between each other. from one side, this gives you the ability to be adaptable and find solutions easily. on the other hand, you may struggle with balance; for example, you might find yourself dedicating your life to your relationships, neglecting your ego or viceversa. you need to learn how to harmonize these energies.

your dominant planets are venus, uranus and the moon. you are an extremely creative and empathetic person. you are very intuitive, and you're able to come up with original and innovative ideas. you can be quite moody, but you also care a lot about your loved ones, you're a very nurturing person.

your dominant sign is aquarius. you're eccentric and rebel, you don't like being told what to do. you're very considerate of others, as you focus more on the development of a group rather than your persona. that's because you want the people you frequent to be as open-minded as you are. aquarius people are capable of elaborating different ideas in a short amount of time; hence, you either overwork yourself, or you're not able to keep up with all your ideas, leaving projects unfinished.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in scorpio, 0° / 1st decan ruled by pluto

your scorpio rising makes you quite pessimistic; you see the world as a place full of dangers and malice, hence it’s hard for you to trust people. this may be translated through fear; you’re either scared of other people, and hence you look more vulnerable, or maybe you’re the one who prefers to look intimidating to avoid problems. I don’t think you look unapproachable, though. there are other placements in your chart that say the opposite, so I imagine you project an image of yourself that makes you look quite naive. you can sense others’ emotions very well, so they have no secrets for you. you can perceive any single emotion in people just by looking in their eyes. while this is good, as you understand who’s best for you and you’re aware of the dangers you may face, scorpio risings tend to take advantage of this and be a little manipulative. this awareness of the world makes you look mysterious and secretive, as if you always know something more than others (and you probably do). pluto is also the planet of transformation, and you might experience a lot of rebirths throughout your life, both physically and emotionally. you might lose/have lost a big amount of weight, for example, which makes you look like a different person. or maybe, you like dying your hair of a different colour, giving you a different vibe. you wish you could be softer and show your inner emotions more easily, as scorpio is a water sign. the thing is, since it’s a fixed sign, it’s hard for you to be flexible and adapt to changes. when they happen, they’re usually out of your control as they’re literally life-changing. physically, I see you having a square face with high cheekbones. overall, your bones are very prominent and you’re naturally skinny. your eyes are extremely magnetic, and they could also be quite big and/or round. you might have either very pale skin, or just an olive skintone. sometimes, even a mix of both. your hair, eyebrows and lashes are very thick and dark too. you're at least of average height, and you could have something smaller on your face, like a small nose, eyes, lips etc. you may also have very thick hair.

scorpio ascendant conjunct libra moon: this placement makes you look softer than the typical scorpio rising. in fact, you're kind of a cancer rising for some traits: you can read people's mood very well, it's easy for you to understand whether someone is sad, angry, happy... because of that, you always try to make people feel at ease, you're always kind with people, and that makes you extremely likeable. also, since the moon rules over feelings and the inner you, you're probably a very genuine person. it's hard for you to hide your real emotions, and even if you wanted to hide them you wouldn't be capable, you're not fake. you could also have frequent mood swings. you have a strong sense of family and comfort to you, and hence it's extremely essential for you feel at ease to truly be yourself. you may also resemble your mother more than your father.

🌞 sun in cancer, 8° / 1st decan ruled by the moon

this is the softest, most emotional cancer decan. even though you may not show it due to your heavy scorpio influence, you’re actually very vulnerable and sensitive. you may be a crybaby, as crying is a way to vent your emotions. you may even overreact, and be considered too dramatic. you’re extremely moody; you could be all happy and relaxed with your friends, then suddenly you get sad, or even angry. it’s hard to deal with this, especially because your emotions are quite intense. this could make you argue a lot with your peers. even though it takes you a while to find someone willing to stay, when that moment finally comes you’ll embody cancer’s best trait: that is, you’ll become a ‘mother’ to your friends, lover etc. you have a very nurturing soul, you have a knack for affection and care, and you could even get kind of clingy, even though you may feel limitated to give your love to someone else. cancer is a cardinal sign, hence you may be the one to take initiative, yet you do it undirectly. you’re probably the passive-aggressive type, even though this may be mitigated by your dramatic and impulsive leo rising. you’re most likely also quite patient, even though you don’t forgive easily. once someone tries to take advantage of you, it’s over for them.

🌙 moon in libra, 29° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and mercury

this is the most intelligent and witty libra decan. in life, you strive for equality and fairness. for example, you don’t want to give less than someone else, you would feel guilty about it. at the same time, you don’t want to be the one that gives more either; you’re afraid that people could take advantage of you. therefore, balance is what you find the most pleasant. ironically, you struggle to keep the same balance in yourself, though. you may appear a bit emotionally cold, as you don’t feel comfortable showing your true self due to your secrecy. you come off as kind of analytical, but you’re actually very romantic. you wish the world was just filled with love and peace, and you that you didn’t have to worry about malice or anything of that type. you hate vulgarity, and you try to be as kind as possible with your words, even though you may be too straight-forward and fail at that. even if you’re an introvert, you may know a lot of people. yet, you have troubles actually creating close bonds with others. you basically have more acquaintances than friends. you’re a nice mediator, you know how to get along with others and make others get along.

🗣 mercury in gemini, 21° / 3rd decan ruled by mercury and uranus

mercury is in its natural place in gemini, your whole chart flows very well! you have great problem-solving skills, you are extremely intelligent and astute. when you were younger, you probably used to be the winner at games like hide-and-seek. this placement also enhances your thirst for knowledge of any kind, you want to learn at least a little about anything, from science to foreign cultures. yet, since you want to learn so many things all at once, you may lack precision and be a little bit superficial. on the other hand, you're a fast learner, and since mercury is placed in the 8th house, a water house, you may also be very intuitive. you may often find people predictable, but in reality you're just ahead of them. you're also very open-minded, even though you still rely more on logic, not like your sister sign is sagittarius. yet, it's easy for you to be flexible in your day-to-day life, you don't have to follow a schedule to have everything under control, even though you may often suffer from stress and headaches due to this lack of organization. you may have a very youthful and positive voice, you just give off good vibes, you know?

gemini mercury opposite sagittarius mars: this placement makes you slightly more aggressive with your words. in fact, it makes you look more assertive and almost bossy. you could often attack people with words when you get angry, and you can get quite provocative too, even though it may happen in a more passive way. you still have your libra moon’s elegance and diplomacy in you, after all. even though you’re quite controversial for the way you speak, you’re still very sensitive to others’ words. your self-esteem tends to find its base mostly on others’ opinion about you, and you always look for reassurance from your loved ones. to deal with this hard aspect, you need to think before you speak. if you have troubles understanding others’ feelings, just think about how you’d love to be treated. patience will just come naturally to you.

gemini mercury conjunct gemini jupiter: this placement emphasizes your intellect. your mind is so broad that you can come up with different theories and philosphies, making you a sort of genius. you're probably good at memorizing things, and you could even have a photographic memory. yet, with this aspect, you may have troubles being consistent with your ideas. you may overestimate your needs and thoughts; for example, you may promise yourself to get all As in maths, then you get tired and bored and you end up getting Cs. same goes for your handwriting, for example: you may start writing in the best way possible, then you get lazy and end up writing in a sloppy way just to take notes. you also overthink a lot, and that causes you self-esteem issues. on the other hand, you're very open-minded and objective, as you look at the big picture. you'd do very well as a journalist, for example, or perhaps also as a judge of any kind. you may also be naturally skilled at foreign languages, you can mimic accents pretty well. you're probably also very poetic and / or wise, you're like a teacher for your friends. you're also particularly good at making jokes, everyone laughs whenever you speak as you have a very good sense of humor.

gemini mercury opposite gemini pluto: you may become a bit manipulative. you probably don’t even realize it, though, as you have the ability to make people do what you want them to do. you probably love being right, especially during arguments, and you always manage to be so thanks to your skills. your words are like knives for others, they can truly cut deep through their ego. you’re direct and blunt, as you just say what you have in mind with no filters. you can develop a provocative attitude without even realizing it, which can obviously cause you conflicts. you need to be more careful about how you communicate your ideas, otherwise you could seriously damage other people’s self-esteem. on the other hand, if you acknowledge your flaws and work on them, this can actually turn into diplomacy. take advantage of your interest in your inner self to find out how to be a bit more gentle in choosing your words.

❤️ venus in taurus, 23° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and mercury

you seek long-lasting relationships. you're very romantic, and this fixed influence gives you high standards for your partner, you stay back from players. you look for someone you can always count on, and that is willing to support you through thick and thin. it may take you a while to find someone worth to be your lover, but once you find them, you'll always be loyal to them as long as they're respectful. they're your most precious possession, hence you're very jealous and protective of them. if it becomes unhealthy for both you and your partner, it's surely an issue you have to solve, maybe together. you're also the type who likes to be spoiled by their lover, and wants to make lovely gifts as well. these gifts don't have to be expensive, even homemade things are fine. for example, you may melt at the thought of your significant other to take their time and do something exclusively for you, like baking a cake or writing a poem. little gestures that show you their love. in a potential partner, you also care about how they present themselves. I'm not necessarily talking about conventional beauty, but more on a self-care side. you like people who smell good, have a nice fashion sense and maybe people that are quite conceited too (obviously not to the point of narcissism).

☄️ mars in sagittarius, 17° / 2nd decan ruled by jupiter and mars

you are driven by a strong sense of justice that makes you want to discover the truth. you hate lies of any kind, you want sincerity from those around you and you're the first to be constantly honest. you value your freedom a lot, your life motto is most likely 'live and let live'. you think everyone should live their lives by their own standards, without feeling afraid of being judged or criticized. you're a very pure and genuine person, you hardly ever judge a book by its cover, and you're also extremely open-minded. you're thirsty for knowledge of any kind, you're always up to learn something new. you may also be interested in foreign languages and cultures, as well as philosophy, literature... anything that can teach you something new about the world. you may be quite impulsive, and when you get angry you tend to be very blunt. you may say things that hurt others, as you're brutally honest, even though that wasn't your intention. you may also appear as flaky, since you don't like feeling tied to something or someone. you could often change your favourite colour, food, singer... you despise boredom, and your need for freshness may also manifest in your relationships. luckily, since your venus is in leo I don't think it's your case, and you may actually be very loyal.

sagittarius mars opposite gemini jupiter: you easily come off as more assertive and arrogant than you actually are. you say things impulsively, and sometimes you’re too blunt and hurt people’s feelings. you don’t do it on purpose, though, there’s no malice behind your acts; it’s just your natural way to express your opinions. you’re also very competitive, and this may make you look selfish. on a positive side, you probably have a naturally nice body (or maybe you react fast to diet/workout). you’re a risk-taker, and if you’re not you should try breaking the rules sometimes (obviously not doing illegal stuff lol). in fact, it’s when you’re both physically and mentally active that you’re able to come up with even better ideas, as you’re full of creativity. to cope with this placement, you can try doing something fun to challenge your mind, basically get out of your comfort-zone. of course you don’t have to overdo it, but it would be beneficial.

sagittarius mars opposite gemini saturn: this placement indicates that something or someone is trying to restrict you, they're trying to prevent you from following your dreams and taking your own choices for your life. that someone is most likely an individual that has a lot on impact on you, it's someone very authoritative. or perhaps, it may even be a bully or abuser of any sort. as a result, you either rebel and get extremely angry, or you hide all of your disappointment inside of you. but soon or after, all of your intense feelings are going to eat you alive if you keep going like this, it's a very unhealthy behaviour. you could find it extra hard to achieve your goals, as when you try you always come across some hardships. what matters the most, is that you try to be more positive, you could even try manifesting more patience or serenity. you can't hold onto anger so much, or it will just fill you with negativity that could damage you. let it all go, focus on your goals and try to understand how to be more patient. in fact, you may often feel like you need to do everything as soon as possible, when it's not like that. you can allow yourself to be more calm and live life as it comes, it will make you feel much better with yourself and you'll also get more mature, which is crucial to learn your saturnian lessons and increase your self-confidence.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in scorpio. you fulfill your ego when you deal with intense situations that satify your needs. that is, you find strenght in getting out of your comfort-zone. even though you may be afraid of it. you’re an enigma: you know everything about others, but others know nothing about you. it’s your way to protect yourself from eventual enemies, as you’re prone to have a few of them throughout your life. the ruler of the 1st is in the 2nd house: your existence revolves around discovering your value, worth and finances in general. your self-esteem is based on your physical appearance and on your achievements. you may have this mentality that you can’t take care of yourself if you don’t have enough money. you could also earn money through your appearance.

your 2nd house is in sagittarius. you tend to overindulge in 2nd house matters, hence you may spend too much money, you could overeat, or even overestimate your own skills. especially since chiron is here, your deepest wound may be related to the fact that you have an exaggerated vision of yourself. maybe, you’re too confident, or perhaps it’s the opposite. that is, you underestimate your worth way too much. pluto here points out that you could often experience sudden changes regarding money. since you spend so much, you may find yourself lacking money from time to time, therefore be careful to how you spend them. you also have mars placed in this house: you may base your life too much on your financial possibilities. for instance, let's suppose you want to start writing a book. you may start writing it only if you're certain that you're going to be paid for it, you don't your efforts to go to waste, and hence you may often be quite materialistic. at least, you're very stubborn, so you can be an hard-worker when you truly care about something you want to complete or achieve. the ruler of the 2nd house is in the 8th house: the best way for you to earn money is working, and providing service to others in general. if you’re generous, people may thank you for that with material things. you may also earn money through spirituality, hence you could be a tarot reader, a psychologist, an astrologer, etc. this is also a placement that indicates that others may give you money easily, you could find lots of jobs that pay you well, and you may even receive an inheritance.

your 3rd house is in capricorn. you enjoy listing and talking about your duties and goals. you’re the type to write down your tasks in your agenda, e.g. tidying up your room, feeding your plants etc. the problem with this placement is that you may struggle to take action, and procrastinate. or maybe, you could do the opposite and overwork yourself. no inbetween. also, when you were a child you probably started speaking later than other kids, or you speak so fast that you end up stuttering. the ruler of the 3rd house is in the 8th: you need partners and friends to whom you can talk freely about your interests and opinion, without being judged. also, you may find yourself thinking and daydreaming often about your future spouse, marriage and relationships in general. you may be a very secretive person, or at least you have lots of secrets to you. you may also be good at keeping them.

your 4th house is in aquarius. when you were young, you probably didn’t feel at ease with yourself. you might have been the outcast, that one kid that stood out in the daycare. you probably didn’t have many friends either, but you weren’t that sad about it. you enjoyed playing, drawing and watching your favorite cartoons alone. you find emotional comfort and security in your home, in your parents and in just family in general. you used to be very attracted to arts when you were a kid, and you kept this love with you while growing up. maybe, you were the type of child to lie to your parents. with the ruler of the 4th house in the 4th, you probably feel comfortable and secure in your home environment, as your moon in the 4th also confirms. you can vent your worries to your family members. at first, you probably didn’t feel very close to your parents though. it’s a kind of affection and emotional security that you developed while growing up.

your 5th house is in pisces. you have a variety of talents and creativity, but that may possibly be covered from you at first. you’d do very well at stuff that involves art and drawing. in love, you’re attracted to artsy people; if they’re into art, singing, dancing etc. they’re your ideal of soulmate. you may be very fond of children, and you wish to have at least one in the future. the ruler of the 5th house is in the 4th house: your hobbies are the same or similiar to those of your parents or siblings. your creativity may also involve your family life in some way; for example, if you’re an artist you may draw your parents, or maybe you could write about your childhood. you may hang out with your family members. you’re also probably fond of cartoons and anything related to childhood.

your 6th house is in aries. you work hard to be the number #1 in what you care about, especially if your goals involve school, work, health etc. your days are usually quite busy, and you tend to overwork yourself. your health may not be the best, you may often experience headaches or you may have problems in any part of your face, such as eyesight problems or maybe something involving teeth. with the ruler of the 6th being in the 2nd, your daily routine involves making money. you may often find money around in your everyday life; for example, in front of your door lying on the ground. the best way for you to earn is working, and providing service to others in general. if you’re generous, people may thank you for that with material things. you may also earn money through animals, hence you could be a groomer, a vet etc.

your 7th house is in taurus. in a marriage you seek security, both emotional and financial. you want a loyal partner that would never do anything to hurt you, and that has a wealthy job as well. intimacy and trust also matter a lot for you in a long-term relationship. your venus is also sitting here in this house, one of the best placements for it. therefore, it's an extremely positive placement! it most likely means that your relationships are very pleasant, you may have very loving partner throughout your life and you won't have a bad memory of them when you break up. in particular, this placement also indicates that you're going to have a very satisfying and peaceful marriage, it certainly doesn't indicate divorce. you may often attract people with good looks, as venus rules beauty, but also wealthy people, and you could possibly make money thanks to other people. you may marry someone rich, or maybe your future job will involve other people, and hence you're going to earn money by helping someone else.

your 8th house is in gemini, with also mercury, jupiter and saturn placed there. you may frequently find yourself thinking and studying occult/taboo topics, such as paranormal events, thrillers, tarots, astrology etc. you’re interested in finding out the truth, not only among your peers but in the whole world. you have a desire that all the malice that is hiding behind the government etc. gets exposed, even though you may be so interested in them that you could get used to it and end up overlooking them. saturn here is quite of a challenging placement; in fact, it makes you afraid of any sort of intimacy and taboo topic in general. you may tame opening up, and hence you keep everything for yourself, you struggle to build healthy relationships with others. in addition, you may also have quite a big sex drive, especially with jupiter being in this house, but you end up repressing your feelings because you're afraid. this is something that is going to slowly disappear after your 30 years, especially thanks to jupiter being also in this house. with more maturity, you'll start feeling way more comfortable with this side of yourself, you won't be afraid anymore.

your 9th house is in cancer. someone close, important and intimate with you may teach you the biggest lessons in your life. you could also live abroad with your family, or become a teacher in a daycare/primary school. you have a knack for philosophy, and you may be interested in foreign culture, music, fashion etc. the sun here makes you extremely open-minded! you probably hardly ever have prejudices, you don’t judge a book from its cover, as you are very supportive of others. you probably despise racism, homophobia and any kind of discrimination that doesn’t bring justice. you may also be particularly interested in studying, especially philosophy, literature, but also foreign cultures. you could be skilled or at least interested in foreign languages as well.

your 10th house is in leo. you want to be recognized and stand out. you may want to be a celebrity, or at least you want to be the one people look up to in your work place. you may be known for your successful career, maybe you may actually get popular easily. your identity revolves around finding a stable job and having a great income. also, this is a beneficial placement for people that want to be recognized/famous, as you naturally have the celebrity vibe and charisma to you. the ruler of the 10th house is in the 9th house: you may find work abroad, perhaps you'll have to travel a lot for your job. maybe you'll have to speak or learn a foreign language for your job, or perhaps you'll have to interact with many people with a different cultural background from yours. you may possibly even work as a teacher or as a professor.

your 11th house is in virgo. this placement, together with your heavy scorpio influence, makes you very picky with friends. you may frequently feel happy with different people, but you only call friends a few of them. you also have friends with similiar ideals and approach to yours, hence it’s easy for you to get along as you see eye to eye. your goals may be very practical, you most likely have a detailed idea of what you want to be in the future. you want everything to be organized, as it makes you feel more secure. the ruler of the 11th house is in the 8th house: your friends could be a part of your soul family, and hence you most likely used to know them in a past life. possibly, your friends could also be wealthy.

your 12th house is in libra. you find beauty in neptunian topics, such as astrology, spirituality, dreams, art etc. you may actually be quite skilled at things that involve beauty and aesthetics. you may also be afraid of being judged, especially for your interests and/or physical appearance. you also have your libra moon placed in this house. you may have some escape tendencies to detach from reality; maybe, you use retail therapy as a coping mechanism. you could also oversleep, pray or maybe meditate to stop thinking about your worries for a while. you usually have very peaceful, romantic dreams, and your past life was quite pacific too. this placement also indicates that you may have prophetic dreams, you could predict the future through them or they may have a special meaning to you.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love, you attract taurus, libra, pisces, cancer, gemini. your future spouse is probably going to have prominent gemini and / or cancer placements, maybe they're a gemini-cancer cusp, as well as some 4th, 3rd or 6th house dominance too. they’ll be very intelligent and talkative, they are most likely a social person but they also value alone time. you may meet them at work, and they’ll be a big boost for your self-esteem and reputation. you could also meet them in a place where you can eat, hence at a restaurant, at a bar, etc. your children are probably going to have prominent pisces placements, or at least they’ll have pisces/water traits: they’ll be spiritual, calm, artistic and sleepy, yet they may also develop a rebel/emo attitude during their teenage years.

👶🏻 family life

your mother is probably a very caring person that knows how to stand up for herself when she has to, but she may struggle to do that. in fact, she looks very emotionally detached. she also has very strong beliefs that you inherited from her. she could have aquarius or pisces placements in her chart, as well as 11th and 12th house planets. your father is a bit softer and more romantic, he knows how to have fun and used to play a lot with you when you were a child. he probably has leo or 5th house placements in his birth chart, or perhaps he has fire placements. if you have siblings, they probably have prominent capricorn placements in their chart. you may fight a lot with them, but your relationship with your siblings will slowly get better with time. in the worst case, your mother might have had a miscarriage, or maybe they were stillborn.

📊 career

with your leo midheaven, any career that revolves around creativity and self-expression would be ideal for you!! in fact, you may have some sort of creative talent, such as writing, acting, dancing, singing, etc. in general, this placement also indicates that you may earn an income from a hobby of yours, and so it doesn't necessarily have to be something creative. for instance, let's suppose you're into psychology. you'd definitely be successful as a psychologist, and there are actually lots of placements in your chart that make it a suitable job for you. possibly, you could even work with food, or perhaps you may work in a field related to money, so you may find a job in a bank. you'll also get to travel a lot, and you'll probably interact with other people as well. because of that, you would also make a good teacher, or maybe a translator for instance.

👕 fashion sense, style analysis

with your heavy venus presence, I'm sure you're very elegant. even if you're just wearing a sweatshirt with pants, you still manage to make it look so expensive and particular. you may like pastel, light colours, or even earthy shades like kaki, brown etc. you prefer using comfortable clothes, but you definitely know how to dress up when you have to. you might also be very fond of accessories, like jewellery and bags. you may also enjoy buying designer clothes, but even if they're cheaper, you want them to be of a nice quality. you may also enjoy going thrift shopping, as you may like wearing 'timeless' items, such as white shirts, blazers, coats, classic heels... basically, versatile clothes that are a must in your wardrobe, as they've always been trendy. you could also love oversized fits, as well as 80s/90s aesthetic.

👁 past life, life purpose

during your past life, it was hard for you to get out of your comfort-zone. you preferred staying in your small environment rather than challenge yourself. that made you again awareness of how to act in small communities, but this lifetime you need to go farther than that. you need to prove that what you learned in your past life is the key to nurture your skills, and be able to apply them in a larger environment. you may find yourself travelling a lot, gaining lots of widsom from your experiences... in this lifetime, you basically need to learn through the communication abilities you gained in your previous life.

🤔 major transits analysis / february 4th

you could be feeling a bit confused. with transit saturn being conjunct your natal neptune, you may be feeling constantly sleepy or perhaps sleep-deprived. you may have trouble resting or feeling at ease, especially in your home environment. your mind could be filled with worries, and hence you find it hard to relax. you may also find yourself arguing a lot with your partner or maybe with your friends or family members, especially since transit mars is about to be conjunct your natal taurus venus in a few days.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

you’re very in contact with your spirituality, making you more sensitive to higher affirmations. you have the ability to visualize what you want. that’s the key to activate the loa: travel with your fantasy, and visualize what you desire. do you want a new car? imagine yourself doing road-trips on that car. a new phone? visualize yourself making calls with that phone. you can even literally create a story involving those topics and it will come true. you can also help yourself by writing and listening to your own affirmations, maybe covered up by some music. you just have to believe in your power!

and this is the end! thank you again for booking a reading, let me know if you have any questions :) -libramc xx

[thebrideofthewizardhowl]

Badminton, court or lawn game played with lightweight rackets and a shuttlecock. Historically, the shuttlecock (also known as a “bird” or “birdie”) was a small cork hemisphere with 16 goose feathers attached and weighing about 0.17 ounce (5 grams). These types of shuttles may still be used in modern play, but shuttles made from synthetic materials are also allowed by the Badminton World Federation. The game is named for Badminton, the country estate of the dukes of Beaufort in Gloucestershire, England, where it was first played about 1873. The roots of the sport can be traced to ancient Greece, China, and India, and it is closely related to the old children’s game battledore and shuttlecock. Badminton is derived directly from poona, which was played by British army officers stationed in India in the 1860s. The first unofficial all-England badminton championships for men were held in 1899, and the first badminton tournament for women was arranged the next year.

              The badminton court is 13.4m long and 6.1m wide. For singles the court is marked 5.18m wide. The lines marking out the court are easily distinguishable and coloured white or yellow. The lines are 40mm wide. A court may be marked out for singles only. The back boundary lines also become the long service lines and the posts or the strips of material representing them are placed on the side lines. The diagonal full length of the full court is 14.366m. The posts are 1.55m high from the surface of the court and remain vertical when the net is strained. The posts are placed on the double side lines irrespective of whether singles or doubles is played. The posts or supports must not extend into the court beyond the side lines. Where it is not practicable to have posts on the side lines, some method can be used to indicate the position of the side lines where they pass under the net, example by the use of thin posts or strips of material 40mm wide, fixed to the side lines and rising vertically to the net cord. The net is 760mm in depth and a minimum of 6.1m wide. The top of the net from the surface of the court is 1.524m at the center of the court and 1.55m over the side lines for doubles. There must be no gaps between the ends of the net and the posts. If necessary, the full depth of the net at the ends is tied to the posts.

              In this blog, I will cover the four basic equipment and gear required for a game of badminton.

1.      Badminton Racket

Badminton rackets can be made from several types of materials. Depending on the material selection, this can result in different combinations of racket weight, balance points and string tensions. With so many different combinations, it will take time to decide which is most suited for your playing style.  Instead of making purchases online, pop by a badminton shop. Ask for assistance and select a racket that you feel comfortable with. Swing the racket around to get a good feel of its overall weight and grip. Some popular badminton brands are Yonex, ProKennex, Wilson, ProTech and Li-Ning.

2.      Shuttlecock

There are two types of shuttlecocks - plastic and feathered shuttlecocks.

Plastic shuttlecocks are far more durable compared to the feathered types which are commonly used. However, plastic shuttlecocks are only recommended for beginners who are just starting out. This is because feathered shuttlecocks are expensive and fray easily especially if the wrong technique is used. Hence, plastic shuttlecocks are good for beginners to use for training. Plastic shuttlecocks are usually used by young children who play badminton for recreation. Plastic shuttlecocks tend to travel shorter distances as they are heavier. Hence, they are good for building strength as you make the transition to feathered shuttlecocks. Most people will progress to using feathered shuttlecocks as they are used at all competitive tournaments.

3.      Badminton Shoes

Badminton shoes are designed to give you better traction and grip to stop in time to return a shot. They should also be lightweight have good cushioning to absorb impact when you jump or land. Regular players will find heel cups useful to prolonging the lifespan of your shoes. Do not wear jogging shoes as they usually lack grip and traction. You might end up crashing through the badminton net if you are unable to stop in time to receive a drop shot.  

4.      Badminton Attire

For casual to non-competitive players, a comfortable pair of shorts and cotton or dri-fit t-shirt is sufficient. Some players may want to equip themselves with hand grips, wrist bands and ankle guards. Each of these items serve a purpose and might also add a dash of color to the entire get-up. When it comes to badminton equipment, select what is appropriate before turning your attention to aesthetics.

 To be good at any sport you need to master the basics. Mastering the basic techniques and skills allows you to play consistently and improve. Badminton is a very beginner-friendly sport but difficult to master. Anybody can learn and master the basic skills for Badminton.

·        Knowing how to warm up properly

·        The basic forehand and backhand grip

·        The basic six corners footwork

·        The split step or the ready stance

·        The basic shots

·        Perception and anticipation

·        Hand-eye coordination

·        Rhythm and timing

·        Tactical and strategic thinking

Knowing how to warm up properly

Warming up is a combination of skill and a bit of know-how. Players of any level should know how to warm up properly before stepping on court for a match. We wrote an in-depth article on warming up properly for Badminton. It’s so important to do a full warm-up before playing to help avoid injuries. It’s also important because you’re ready to go right from the start of the match. You won’t need to get four-five rallies into the game before you feel like you’ve finally got in gear.

 Warm-ups don’t have to take that long either. You can perform a solid warm-up in less than five minutes. Here are some simple routines that really get the blood pumping:

 ·        High speed skipping for five minutes (try to go fast without losing consistency and tripping over the rope)

·        A simple set of jumping jacks, squats, burpees, lunges and knee tucks each for one minute

·        Jog around the hall at a quick pace for five minutes

You get the idea, anything that gets you moving without overstretching. It should get your heart pumping and as my coach used to say; “you should have little beads of sweat from the forehead”.

The basic forehand and backhand grip

Learning the forehand and backhand grip is a fundamental skill. It’s so important to get this right as it’s the building blocks to learning every shot in Badminton. The basic forehand and backhand grip is easy to learn, you can practice getting the hold right sat at home. Practice swapping from forehand to backhand whilst sat on the couch at home.

 The forehand grip is much like shaking somebody’s hand. Both in the way you hold the racquet and in how tight you hold it. You want to hold the racquet loosely, gripping the racquet too tight can lead to injuries like tennis elbow. It also makes it very difficult to hit the shot smoothly as you’re tensing up your muscles.

 The backhand grip is for some people easier to get right. You simply take the forehand grip and roll the thumb over so it sits flat on the grip rather than along the edge. The use of the thumb makes it easier to stabilize the grip compared to the forehand.

The basic six corners footwork

Footwork is crucial in Badminton. It’s been known that some coaches in China only teach beginners footwork from the beginning. They don’t teach any racquet skills until the player has mastered the basic footwork. They do this because it’s impossible to play good shots if you cannot reach the shuttle. In Badminton, once the shuttlecock touches the floor the rally is over so you need to be able to cover the court in order to play well.

 I wouldn’t go as far as they do in principals but I still believe footwork is one of the most important aspects of playing Badminton. Footwork can get very technical and complex but right now we’re just going to cover the basic footwork patterns in short. We have more full and detailed guides coming soon around footwork drills and breakdowns.

 If you can master these six pieces of footwork for Badminton then you’re off to a good start. The six pieces of footwork are:

 Travelling to the forehand side of the net

·        Travelling to the backhand side of the net

·        Covering the forehand mid-court

·        Covering the backhand mid-court

·        Moving to the forehand rear-court

·        Moving to the backhand rear-court

For info please watch this video : https://www.youtube.com/embed/IidZFd6vCJk?autoplay=1

 The split step/the ready stance

The split step is a technique used to get ready for the next shot. It’s used not only in Badminton but in sports like Tennis as well. It’s the basis of building good footwork and speed around the court. We have a great article detailing everything about the split step, make sure to read it in full.

 Let’s summarize why the split step is so important. A good split step is for a Badminton player what a good start out of the blocks is for a runner. If you don’t have a good split step you’ll be playing catch up to your opponent.

 So how do you do the split step? It’s simple but can be tricky to master. When you return to your base position on court you want to make a slight jump in the air and land with your feet apart. You want to time the landing of your feet just after your opponent hits the shuttle. That way you can land the split step and immediately push off to the next shot.

 The basic shots

There are so many varieties of shots in Badminton. Variants of shots include slicing the shuttle, tumbling the shuttle or hitting it at different angles with different swings. But they all have one original basic shot. For beginners here is a list of basic shots you should master first.

 ·        The serve (forehand or backhand)

·        The lift (sometimes called a lob)

·        The net shot

·        The block

·        The drop shot

·        The smash

·        The clear

That’s eight shots in total. It’s quite a lot when you’re just starting out and they can all be played backhand and forehand. These seven shots cover the majority of situations you’ll face in a match. Master these and you’ll have a good base in which to build on and start learning more advanced shots and variations.

 Hand-eye coordination

It only comes with practice but having good hand-eye coordination is essential for Badminton. You can’t play Badminton if you can’t connect the racquet and shuttle. The best way to improve hand-eye coordination for Badminton is to play lots of Badminton. Who would have thought?!

 Seriously though, playing and training will improve your hand-eye coordination significantly but there are exercises you can do at home alone or with another person to improve your hand-eye coordination. Here are some examples.

 Playing catch

Playing catch is a simple but effective way to improve hand-eye coordination. All you need is a ball, you could do this with a shuttlecock too. Practice throwing and catching with someone else or bounce the shuttle or ball of a wall at different angles and catch it again.

 Catching an object focuses your eyes on a single object travelling. It requires concentration and spatial awareness. It’s so simple but so effective.

 Juggling

So not a skill for those with little patience, juggling is a difficult skill to master but for good reason. Juggling requires incredible hand-eye coordination, even just by learning to juggle you’re improving your hand-eye coordination without having mastered the skill. It’s something you can do anywhere with a couple or more balls or shuttles.

 When you master juggling two items then you can move onto three then four etc. Adding more objects or changing the objects improves your hand-eye coordination even more. You have to track each item in the air and feel how you threw the last one. It’s also a great party trick to have in the bag.

 Exercising your eyes

Believe it or not but there are specific exercises that you can do to exercise your eyes! They basically help strengthen the muscles in and around your eyes. They mainly help with focusing your vision which in turn will help with your hand-eye coordination. Some examples of eye exercises are.

 ·        Focus change

·        Near and far focus

·        Figure eight

Rhythm and timing

If you watch the top players in the world like Lin Dan, Lee Chong Wei and Kento Momota etc, they seem to cover the court so easily. They make every shot look effortless and smooth. They have little to no break in their footwork and look to glide around the court. They have honed their rhythm and timing for playing Badminton over years of training and match play. Lee Chong Wei has impeccable timing with his footwork and if you watch the video below you can see how rhythmic his movement is. When you play Badminton, especially singles, getting a natural rhythm while you play is key to developing good footwork and creating consistency in your play. When we dance we use the music as our rhythm and that helps us relax and get into the flow. When playing Badminton you need to be able to find a rhythm of play that suits you. This can only come from playing a lot of purposeful practice and playing matches. Timing is similar but relates more to hand-eye coordination. Your timing will naturally improve the more Badminton you play. It’s important to have good timing so you can hit shots cleanly, a split-step at the right moment and so you can position yourself to hit the shuttle at the optimal time.

 Perception and anticipation

These two skills become much more important the better you get at Badminton. It’s the difference between just getting your opponents shot back and intercepting or countering your opponents next shot. Perception means: “The ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses.” For Badminton, this has lots of meanings. Being able to see where your opponent is in relation to the rest of the court, being able to hear if they’re panting and getting tired, the examples go on and on. It’s about how you perceive the current situation playing out during a match. Being more aware. Anticipation is a little different. Anticipation means: “The action of anticipating something; expectation or prediction.” For Badminton, anticipation means reading your opponents’ next move before they play it, to change your stance in preparation for the next shot and to advance your position before the play has been made. Anticipation is a very important skill in Badminton because if you can read your opponents’ next shot then you can gain the upper hand in the rally, the game, and the match. It’s not easy to learn this skill as everyone plays differently, no two players play the same. One player might play a certain shot when they’re in trouble and someone else might play an entirely different shot. You see top players Hendra Setiawan and Lin Dan do this very well. Before their opponent has played their shot they’re already anticipating their next move. Watch this video below and watch how Lin Dan changes the positioning of his feet in order to move faster to the next shot. As you can see he doesn’t always get it right but is able to recover and stay in the rally.

 Tactical and strategic thinking

There are many ways to win a game of Badminton. Players and coaches use different tactics and strategies to win a match. Tactics are the shots we make, the set plays we try to repeat and the choices we make when backed into a corner. Tactics are the small steps and choices within each rally. Strategies are the overall plan for playing a match, they’re the long term plan. Strategy in Badminton is creating a plan on how you’ll win. An example strategy for a singles player might be to get their opponent to play a high lift so they can get back and smash. An example strategy for a doubles player might be to get to the front as fast as possible to intercept the shuttle early or kill it. These are basic examples. The elite players will have multiple strategies for when the opponent starts countering their strategy. I feel it’s always best to keep things simple when it comes to tactics and strategies. If you’re beating your opponent then there is no need to change anything. If you’re losing then you need to change something. Why is it important to learn about tactics and strategies? Taking a quote from Sun Tzu and the Art of War, a book we recommend for every Badminton payer to read. “The general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought. The general who loses makes but few calculations beforehand.” If you plan on how you’re going to win the match or plan how you’re going to cope with your opponents’ big smash then you’re already a step ahead. You need to learn how to harness your best shots to gain the initiative and win points. It’s partly visualization if you can visualize how you can win then you’re more likely to win.

 Technical Skills in Badminton

·        The Ready Stance - it is a position in badminton wherein the right stance is readied by the player in order to minimize the amount of movements that would be needed in order to hit the shuttlecock

·        Forehand and Backhand Grip - these are the two basic grips that new players must familiarize themselves with. By doing either of these, it would be much easier for players to control their shots

·        Footwork - it is a necessary skill in order to play badminton. A proper footwalk would help in mastering the sports

·        Strokes - initially, there are four strokes that the player can use.  

·        Underarm Backhand Serve - it is a type of serve that beginners can use

Tactical skills in badminton

·        Applying pressure on hitting the shuttlecock

·        Position yourself in the central base

·        It would be easier to hit the shuttlecock on the corners of the court

·        Deceive your opponents during singles match

 Scoring System

A match consists of the best of 3 games of 21     points.

Every time there is a serve – there is a point     scored.

The side winning a rally adds a point to its     score.

At 20 all, the side which gains a 2 point lead     first, wins that game.

At 29 all, the side scoring the 30th point,     wins that game.

The side winning a game serves first in the     next game.

Interval and Change of Ends

When the leading score reaches 11 points,     players have a 60 second interval.

A 2 minute interval between each game is     allowed.

In the third game, players change ends when     the leading score reaches 11 points.

Singles

At the beginning of the game (0-0) and when     the server’s score is even, the server serves from the right     service court. When the server’s score is odd, the server serves from the     left service court.

If the server wins a rally, the server scores     a point and then serves again from the alternate service court.

If the receiver wins a rally, the receiver     scores a point and becomes the new server. They serve from the appropriate     service court – left if their score is odd, and right if it is even.         Doubles

A side has only one ‘set’.

The service passes consecutively to the     players as shown in the diagram.

At the beginning of the game and when the     score is even, the server serves from the right service court. When it is     odd, the server serves from the left court.

If the serving side wins a rally, the serving     side scores a point and the same server serves again from the alternate service     court.

If the receiving side wins a rally, the     receiving side scores a point. The receiving side becomes the new serving     side.

The players do not change their respective     service courts until they win a point when their side is serving.

Officials roles are among the most important positions when planning badminton events as they are specialized roles filled by qualified volunteers.

 Badminton events of all size – be it a local circuit tournament, county competition or even one of our major events – on a national and international level, require a team of officials. The officials are the judges responsible to ensure a fair badminton game is being played. They consists of:

 ·        Umpire: The ‘main judge’ for the particular badminton game. He/she has the power to overrule any decisions made by the service judge or line judges. The umpire is the person ensuring that the badminton game is run smoothly and prevent any players from delaying the game play. Whenever a player requests to change the shuttle, the umpire will need to approve that the change could be made. The umpire also looks out for faults committed around the net area such as whether a player touched the net when returning the shuttle. Besides, the umpire is responsible to make a ‘fault’ call when the shuttle touches the player or the players’ attires except for the badminton racket. In badminton, it will be a fault/foul to a player if the shuttle touches any part of that player’s body or attire.

 ·        Service Judge: The service judge is responsible in making a ‘service fault’ call and to provide shuttles to the players.

 ·        Line Judges: Line judges sit beside the badminton court (right in front of every in/out lines) to determine whether the shuttle is inside or outside the boundaries of the court.

 ·        Referees – The referee is the most senior official in a badminton tournament and they in overall charge of all matters which affect play and the players on and off court.

   The referee shall have key responsibility for:

·        Producing schedule and order of play.

·        Amendments to the draw and schedule.

·        The smooth running of play on the day.

·        Liaison with Umpire and Line Judge managers.

·        The correct implementation of regulations and the Laws of Badminton.

·        Completion of a tournament report.

 Citations :

https://basilioeduc.wordpress.com/2013/09/20/officiating-badminton/

https://www.masterbadminton.com/who-are-the-officials-of-badminton.html

https://www.badminton.mb.ca/page/18182/Officiating

https://www.badmintonengland.co.uk/play/give-your-sport-a-helping-hand/officiating-in-badminton/tournamentmatch-referees/

https://sportsphilippines.wordpress.com/2017/02/02/officiating-in-badminton/

https://www.masterbadminton.com/badminton-techniques.html

https://www.badmintonbc.com/page/2888/The-Laws-of-Badminton

https://www.badmintonsbest.com/blog/skills-you-need-to-play-badminton/#the-basic-shots

https://www.myactivesg.com/Sports/Badminton/How-To-Play/Badminton-Equipment/Getting-Started-for-a-Game-of-Badminton

https://www.dlgsc.wa.gov.au/sport-and-recreation/sports-dimensions-guide/badminton#:~:text=The%20badminton%20court%20is%2013.4,The%20lines%20are%2040mm%20wide.

https://www.britannica.com/sports/badminton

[narastories]

Happy 280th Birthday Tom!

After having such a great fun with doing this for Lord John, I decided to do a reading for our wee Byrd as well.

A Natal Chart Reading for Tom Byrd

Disclaimers:

I am still not an astrologer

This is made in the spirit of appreciation of this character and his story. The purpose of this is pure fun on my part and hopefully to entertain some of you as well. Plus, to maybe provide some character-study-style insight or inspiration.

Tom Byrd’s character belong to Diana Gabaldon - duh -

Tom has no official canon birth date as far as we know it. A few of us decided on a whim to celebrate him on this day, and oh boy is it perfect from an astrological standpoint. Of course, it is. But that’s it, it’s just adoring fan-silliness from our part.

Again, I take full responsibility for the time of day chosen. I have cycled through the day by the hour, compared charts and decided on the one that I’ve found most fitting and just went with that.

Tom Byrd’s character has appeared only in the Lord John books so far, so every example I’m giving here will be from there. Nothing too spoilery.

This is astrology applied to a fictional character, you have been warned. Continue at your own discretion.

Let’s transport ourselves into the world of Outlander, and imagine the day that world was gifted with the presence of this cute and complicated character. What do the stars tell us about him?

Double Cancer 

No one ever said that Cancerians would be easy to understand. People born under the Crab are capable of holding many contradictions in their personality, and this is twice as true in the case of Tom Byrd who has both the Sun and the Moon in Cancer. When the two most powerful planets of a chart are in the same sign it tends to make the characteristics of that sign very prominent.

He is extremely cautious, but won’t hesitate taking the initiative when he needs to. Others tend to underestimate him at first, because he will stick to the rules. That is until he breaks them. He does not welcome change, but still adapts quickly to changing circumstances.

Tom appreciates safety, like the security that comes from stable employment, but still has a secret love for adventure. Luckily he can satisfy both of those cravings as the valet of Lord John Grey, because we all know that his lordship has the talent of getting into the most bizarre situations and is more than happy to keep Tom around to accompany him. (#zombies #succubus)

Just like a little crab crawling sideways he might have an indirect approach to things, but eventually he will always get where he wants to go.

He is sensitive and kind, but since his feelings are so dominant his mood can change fast. This is usually concealed by a carefully constructed exterior built from propriety and good manners. He uses this to hide deep feelings and extreme sensitivity underneath. He might be calm and collected on the surface most of the time, but there is a constantly shifting tide of emotions in his heart. He has the tendency to worry too much, to brood silently when he’s hurting or sulk when he disapproves, but no one listens to him.

Those who know him a little better will know that this grumpy little valet has a heart of gold. He is extremely caring and has a natural talent for making others comfortable and cared for.

At the same time Tom is cautious about revealing too much, which makes him naturally discrete. Besides his skill at giving a close shave this was one of the characteristics that made Lord John keep him as a valet just after just a short while of knowing him. Tom is also exceptionally perceptive and hard to deceive. He will notice the tiniest of details. This, and his high sensitivity to people’s emotions makes him good at figuring out others’ motivations. His intuition also makes him great at sensing public trends, and this combined with his creativity contributes to him becoming a good valet. He has a good memory and likes to collect information and store away small details later to be used.

His most admirable trait is probably his loyalty. When he is caring for someone, nothing can deter him. Crabs are known to retreat to safety at the first sign of danger. Don’t be fooled by Tom’s occasional outburst heroism, bravery is not his default setting. (#roaches) And because of that it means so much more when he does choose to stay and fight.

Cancerians tend to be quite the people-collectors. They don’t easily let people they know out of their sight. So fyi: there is no way Tom Byrd would willingly abandon Lord John Grey or let him out of his life completely. I think he would have loved if Jack decided to stay with them, but you know… his brother had his own loyalties.

Underneath all these layers Tom hides a fragile heart. He secretly needs and craves support and encouragement. He tries to hide it, but he has a lot of insecurities and can be a bit shy.

He is passionate about fixing other people’s problems. It comes from a strong urge to care for others even if it can be a bit overbearing sometimes.

Having the Moon in Cancer as well makes him even more protective and persistent. He perceives the world through his emotions, rather than rational arguments. This can cause a conflict with people who try to argue their feelings away - khm John khm - because that is very hard to understand for Tom. Other aspects of his chart play into this as well (Mars in Taurus) Sometimes he won’t be willing to see someone else’s point, especially if he knows that person feels differently than the argument they intellectually make.

No matter how in tune with his feelings he is, he doesn’t usually show them openly and as hypersensitive he is to other people’s emotions, he can sometimes be blinded by his own.

He is best in a deep, committed and loving relationship with someone who will appreciate his delicate heart and will dispel his feelings of unworthiness.

Capricorn Rising

Tom Byrd has a serious outward demeanor. No matter how young, inexperienced or out of his depth he may be in a certain situation, he is more than capable of employing the ‘fake it ‘till you make it’ tactic.  

With strangers he is often quiet and reserved. He also possesses great willpower and determination. It is important to him that he achieves things through his own hard work and that he feels like his life is meaningful. (Mars in Taurus) He has all the necessary discipline, ambition and patience to do just so. Becoming a lord’s valet is something he takes pride in, no matter the initial circumstances.

He has an active mind, quick intelligence, and the ability to concentrate. He likes to map things out ahead of time, because he doesn’t like to be caught unprepared. Fussing over details is his way of staying in control. He’s also a bit of a perfectionist.

He is a worrier. He loves deeply, and goes out of his way to be kind to others, but on the other hand he will hold onto hurt, and will hold a grudge.

His chart is ruled by Saturn which is in Cancer in the 7th house of partnership. This might suggest that he is emotionally too dependent on others. However, he is great at seeing a task through completion. Can be sly if he wants to. (see how he inserted himself into John’s life? see??) The obstacles he needs to overcome are his insecurity and lack of confidence.

Other interesting tidbits

The evils of propriety

Tom is mindful of decency and societal norms. (Capricorn Rising) That doesn’t mean he is not ready to throw them out the window, this is just another one of his contradictions. With him belonging to one of the Uranus in Capricorn generations he has the confidence to break through old established ideas. This aspect of his chart does oppose the likewise generational Neptune in Cancer, which suggests that this conflict is something he has a lot to do with in his life. Old-fashioned values vs. change for the better. Being compassionate towards others and maintaining harmony vs. fighting for your values and/or goals.

Sweet little cupcake

Tom is irresistibly likeable and naturally attracts warm feelings from others. (Venus in Leo) Do I need to say more? He is adorable and I have fallen under his spell. Points to Venus - there is my excuse lol

Twin influences

Tom has Mercury in Gemini, which gives an interesting quicksilver quality to his personality. He is surprisingly hard to pin down (get your mind out of the gutter ;P ). He is curious, versatile and quick witted. A great example of this is when in Private Matter John is trying to be very discreet about inquiring about his brother, and is surprised to find that against this effort, Tom immediately sees through him that he considers the possibility of his brother being guilty.

He also has Jupiter in Gemini, which again points to his adventurous nature and the knack for getting into advantageous situations. Do I need to say more?

Detective

My favourite small tidbit in his chart is a complex trine which suggests that he is good at looking beneath the surface for answers, good at investigating and unearthing things, and that he finds great allies in this. He is quite a little detective, our Tom. Seems like a small thing, but the placement of it suggests that this aids him in a great way. Which we know is true ;)

I hope you enjoyed this little ramble. It was fun to write, and it just made me fall twice as madly in love with our wee Byrd. Not that I need the encouragement on any day lol

[confessionsofaloudmouth]

Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard; a blog post by Chelbey Trump

Happy Sunday, everyone! I’m generally going to be posting on Sundays because it gives me all of the weekend to write them. Also, you’ll catch on to the structures of these posts as we go.

This week, I am going to be discussing the novel Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard. Published in 2015v by Simon and Schuster, the novel was on the New York Time’s Bestsellers list. (In the future, I would like to write a blog post about that particular achievement because, let’s face it, almost every book has been on it.)

Characters:

Mare Barrow; A 17 year-old pitpocketer, living in the slummiest part of a country, with a younger sibling who has potential for their life, parents who are loyal to-said country even though they’re given the short end of the stick, and a male best friend who is, undoubtedly, in love with her. Come on down, Katniss Everdeen! Oh, sorry, I meant Beatrice Prior. America Singer? Oh, right this novel is uniquely science-fiction, even though it follows all of the rules of a dystopian-fiction series. Ehem: I hate this character. Her arch, though not necessary to the forward motion of the story, was lost completely by a million different subplots and, even, the main plot. I like the idea that, in the midst of becoming the face of the rebellion, she became less of an individual person and more of a loyal person to her people. That being said, she was incredibly selfish, with her pity-part-for-one attitude simply because she was born into the Stilts. She took for granted her sister’s opportunity to provide for their family by dragging into a scheme which destroyed her life. Did she save her by acting the part of princess? Yes, but, c’mon: It was either marry Maven or be killed. I hope that she loses this attitude within the next couple books because;

Cal Tiberias; What a hunk! Charming, self-less, sensible, and a future-king? Cal was a strong character, although it could be said that he was weak due to his loyalty to his father which was conditioned inside his brain from a young age. He turned his back on the lower part of his people to stay true to the upper, wealthy, ‘better’ half. He deserved better than this, after showing traits that he was, well, better than this! I understand it worked for the plot line, but how juicy would it have been to see Cal stand up to his father? I loved how passionate he was, though. Mare thought he didn’t care about the divide, but he was noble in saying he didn’t want violence to be what closed said-divide. He was willing to put his men on the same level as the Red soldiers, including himself, to fight the war. That’s hot. In the end, when he defended Mare even though she had offended him, I fell more in love with his character. He had stayed true to himself- or who he was meant to be- instead of a stupid girl, but when they turned their backs on him, he was ready to die with honor alongside that dumb female (synonyms!) If Cal was still the general, then I’d say:

Maven Tiberias; If Cal is a hunk, Maven is that nerdy, attractive guy. He was charming from start to finish even though he was, ya know, the ‘bad’ guy. It was hard to believe him even as the bad guy, however, because he only 17 and played Mare like a game of Chess. It’s understandable that he had, like Cal, been conditioned to love his mother and her cause for all of his life, that the king and Cal were enemies, that Mare could never possibly love him. But, Aveyard literally threw us twenty pages from the end of the novel. It felt rushed, uncomfortable and, well, forced. Overall, I still love his character and I’m excited to see him as a king in the next three books.

Queen Elara and King Tiberias; The. Best. Female. Character. What a literal queen! She didn’t care about anyone’s feeling, had powers which made her stronger than pretty much everyone, and waited so long to let her husband’s head roll so she and her son could rule. That’s amazing! I loved her smug attitude which was revolutionary because she was still a lady. She chided Mare for not acting like a said-lady and did so herself while still manipulating everyone and anyone. We dont see enough strong female characters who are still very much feminine, and we deserve to. Now, for the king: Off with his head! I’m so glad he’s dead because I dont think I could have stood another second of his toxic masculinity. That’s all I’ll say about that.

Ruth, Gisa, and Daniel Marrow; I wish we could have a family which is matriarchal. Too many books rely on normal societorial standards fo household and I’m slightly over it. I understand that in a normal kingdom, men, like Daniel, were the war hero’s, honorably discharged, wise, older, and the most-looked up to in the family. But, c’mon, Mare could literally manipulate electricity and her father couldn’t have made dinner? Her mother was too sweet and quiet and her father too quiet and judgmental. It was too basic and boring. However, I feel awful for Gisa: She absolutely deserved so much more than what she was given by Mare’s horrible decisions.

Honorable Mentions; Kilorn was just so annoying, trying to be masculine yet show his affection to Mare. Get over her, bud, she’s fighting a revolution! Evangeline was annoying, yet so, so satisfying to read about. She was exactly like Queen Elara with all the overwhelming traits of King Tiberias. Lucas, I felt, could have been used a lot more sufficiently than he was. Julian, too, was lost in the fast-paced motion of the novel. Overall, the relationships everyone formed with one another were not illustrated well through the novel. I refuse to believe Mare was falling for Maven, or Cal for Mare, or that Julian truly cared about Mare as much as he said he did because I saw no build up of that love.

Settings:

What Aveyard lacks in characters, she makes up for in description. Although sometimes it felt like she was going overboard with her language usage, fo rate majority of the time, I could see exactly what she was discussing. Her most creative ideas for setting were the forest which was able to prevent pollution from Gray Town, the usage of The Capital River running through the entire kingdom, and the bridge separating Archean and the Silver residencies.

Plot Lines:

Reds vs. Silvers; I hate and love the idea of the high-class citizens having silver-flushed skin and literally silver blood. It took the first half of the book for my mind to comprehend the distinction because I was too focused on hating Mare Barrow (just kidding!) I loved the moment when Evangeline dug her nails into Mare’s arm in order to draw red blood so that her identity would be revealed. But, I hated that there was no explanation as to why there was separation between the two classes.

The Love Triangle (Quartet?); How grossed out would you be if your brother was engaged to the girl you just kissed and made-out with her on a regular basis? Well, put yourself into Cal’s shoes and see you feel. I knew from the moment Cal pretended to be a Red citizen that he was the love interest for Mare- not that she didn’t end up having two others. The personification of his body heat connected to the feelings Mare would have for him, and that was interesting to read about. However, Maven had to be thrown into the mix because he was engaged to her for literal marketing reasons. I shipped Maven and Mare so hard, but Maven apparently did not. I wouldn’t call it a love quartet because we all know Evangeline didn’t actually love Cal.

Brother vs. Brother; The idea of Cal and his father vs. Maven and his mother reminded me of Reign and the relationship between Francis, Queen Elizabeth, Henry and Sebastian. As a fan of that show, I loved this power struggle. The idea of Cal being the OG son and Maven his half-brother showed that his blood did run deep with the Tiberias’. It allowed for him to feel disconnected and to want to follow his mother’s lead to power.

Symbolism and Themes; Let’s be honest here: There were none. Besides the fact that the division between the Reds and Silvers could stand for racism in any and all societies, the novel itself lacked depth. You shouldn’t look to this novel for guidance or meaning. Rather, it is a quick, cute read. Mare’s earrings stood fo her brothers, and eventually Kiloran, but that was literally given to us within the first five chapters. Most of the themes lied along the man vs. nature due to the issue of biological desterminism, and man vs. man for the revolution.

Dream Cast:

Jaz Sinclair as Mare Barrow

Charles Melton as Cal Tiberias

Tati Gabrielle as Evangeline

Jaeden Martell as Maven Calore

Melora Hardin as Queen Elara

I know, I know, this is not everyone. But, these are the only characters I truly felt needed to be played by specific people. And, yes, some are highly debatable, such as Melora because of her comedic timing, but I think these actors could play these characters well.

Quote Corner:

“The truth is what I make it. I could set this world on fire and call it rain.”

“Flame and shadow. One cannot exist without the other.”

“Words can lie. See beyond them.”

(Victoria Aveyard is a wordsmith. What she lacks in character and book depth she makes up for in language and description.)

Overall Rating: 3.75/5

I know I bashed the book a lot, but it was a pretty easy and cute read. I am going to read the sequel because I am very invested in Maven as character and would like to see what else Aveyard has in store. She took ideas from dystopian novels which were all familiar with and put her own unique twist on them, and I admire that.

Thank you for reading this week’s blog post. Next Sunday I will be discussing, “The Half of It.” Please like, follow, and reblog my posts to help get me out there. Happy Memorial Day Weekend!