#very sad. reading it n listening to the musical made me very emotional

[pandoraroid]

samuel collins n his granny adeline as odysseus n his mother anticlea's part in the underworld

adeline: waiting. samuel, when you come home i'll be waiting. even if you're the last thing i see i'll be waiting.

sam: i'm right here, gran/ma. cant you see? i'm waiting... i took too long

adeline: i'll always love you

sam: and ventured too far

adeline: i'll stay in your heart

sam: while you were

both: waiting, waiting, waiting

[satellite-evans]

Familiar Echoes

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x reader

Summary: When Y/N, the daughter of the duke of Ashbourne returns to Aubrey Hall, old feelings resurface between her and Benedict Bridgerton, sparking tension and intrigue. As they navigate past misunderstandings with the support of their families, they must confront their emotions and decide if their childhood bond can evolve into something more.

Word count: 4.7k words

Warnings: fluff, a little angst, mention of nude models, childhood friends, misunderstanding

A/N:

Hi everyone, this is my first Benedict fic so I am very excited, hope you guys will like it :)

English is not my first language, so I apologize if I made any (grammar) mistakes. Feedback, requests, recommendations, vents or questions are always welcome. I love talking to you guys about anything <3

Happy reading xxx

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site.

The sun cast a warm, golden glow over Aubrey Hall, its rays filtering through the trees and illuminating the vibrant gardens where the Bridgerton children played. Benedict Bridgerton, with his dark curls and inquisitive eyes, was only ten years old, yet he was already showing signs of the artistic and passionate young man he would become.

In the gardens, Benedict was engrossed in a spirited game of hide-and-seek with his siblings and their dear friends, the Y/L/Ns. The daughter of the Duke of Ashbourne, Y/N, was Benedict’s favorite playmate. Her laughter was his favorite and her eyes mirrored something so beautiful, so pure.

Benedict, you’ll never find me!” Y/N called out, her voice echoing through the hedges.

He grinned, determined to prove his best friend wrong. They had spent countless afternoons exploring the grounds, creating imaginary worlds, and sharing secrets that only they understood.

Finally, he spotted her hiding behind a rosebush. “Got you!” he exclaimed, grabbing her hand and twirling her around.

She laughed, her joy infectious. “You always find me, Benedict.”

He smiled, a blush creeping up his cheeks. “I’ll always find you, Y/N.”

But the idyllic days of childhood were not to last. That evening, over dinner, the Duke of Ashbourne announced that his family would be leaving London for an extended stay in Italy. The news hit Benedict like a blow, and he struggled to hide his disappointment. He looked over at his friend and saw those same pure eyes filling up with tears. It broke his tiny heart into pieces.

“Leave London? Whatever for?”

Benedict was thrilled that his mother asked because he desperately needed to know why they had to leave.

“We have decided it is time to show our children the world. My father took me on similar journeys when I was their age, and those experiences were invaluable. I want Thomas and Y/N to have the same opportunities—to see different places, learn new things, and broaden their horizons.”

Your mother nodded in agreement, her expression resolute. “We believe it will be good for their education. There’s so much to learn beyond the walls of London, and we want to give them a chance to explore and grow in ways they cannot here.”

Violet glanced at the Viscount, her husband Edmund, who had been listening quietly. He smiled and nodded, understanding the importance of such a decision. “I agree with you, William,” he said to your father. “Traveling and experiencing different cultures can provide a wealth of knowledge and perspective that one simply cannot gain from books alone.”

Thomas, your older brother, seemed very excited about the upcoming adventure.

But Y/N did not.

She was thinking all about how terribly she was going to miss her dear friend Benedict and how awful it was going to be, not to be in his presence all the time.

After dinner, Benedict found Y/N in the music room, softly playing the pianoforte. He approached her, his heart heavy.

“Why do you have to go?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Y/N looked up, her eyes filled with sadness. “Father believes it’s for the best. He wants us to experience life. He also mentioned that we will also visit Greece and many more."

“But what about us? What about our adventures?” Benedict’s voice cracked with emotion.

She reached out, taking his hand in hers. “We’ll always have our memories, Benedict. And we’ll see each other again. I promise.”

Benedict squeezed her hand, trying to hold back tears. “Promise?”

“Promise,” she echoed, her voice firm despite the tears in her eyes.

After staying a few more days at Aubrey Hall, the Y/L/N family departed, leaving a void in Benedict’s heart. As their carriage disappeared down the long driveway, he stood beside his father, Edmund Bridgerton, who placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Time will pass quickly, my boy,” Edmund said gently. “And you’ll see her again before you know it.”

Benedict nodded, but the ache in his heart remained. Little did he know, their next meeting would be years away, and the feelings he harbored would only grow stronger with time.

Years had passed since the Y/L/N family’s departure, and Benedict had grown into a handsome and talented young man. He pursued his passion for art with fervor, yet a part of him always yearned for the companionship he had once shared with Y/N.

The sun had just begun to set, casting a warm golden glow over Aubrey Hall, when Lady Violet Bridgerton received the letter. She was seated in the drawing room with her children, each engaged in their own activities. Anthony was reviewing estate documents, Colin was reading a book, Eloise was writing furiously in her notebook, and the younger ones were playing a game by the fireplace.

"Everyone," Lady Violet called, her voice filled with excitement. "I have just received the most wonderful news."

The Bridgerton children looked up, curiosity piqued.

"What is it, Mother?" Anthony asked, setting aside his papers.

Lady Violet grinned. "We are to have guests. The Duke and Duchess of Ashbourne, along with their children, are coming to visit."

A chorus of reactions followed. Eloise raised an eyebrow. "The Ashbournes? Weren't they the family that moved away to travel the world?"

"Yes, indeed," Lady Violet confirmed. "The duke was a dear friend of your father. They moved away years ago, but they have decided to return for a time."

"Does this mean we’ll get to see Thomas again?" Colin asked, a grin spreading across his face. "I always liked him."

"And Y/N," Daphne added, her eyes twinkling. "I remember she was always so talented in the pianoforte and the harp."

Benedict remained silent, a slight blush creeping up his neck. He hoped no one would notice, but of course, Anthony did.

"Well, well, Benedict," Anthony said, a mischievous glint in his eye. "It looks like your childhood crush will be reunited with you," Anthony said, a mischievous glint in his eye.

Benedict tried to maintain his composure. "Don't be ridiculous, Anthony. That was ages ago."

Colin chimed in, unable to resist the opportunity to tease his brother. "Oh, come on, Benedict. We all remember how you used to follow her around like a lost puppy."

Eloise snickered. "And how you would turn bright red whenever she spoke to you."

Benedict sighed, knowing he was fighting a losing battle. "I was a child. We’ve all grown up since then."

"Perhaps," Anthony said, leaning back in his chair. "But it will be interesting to see how things play out now that you’re both adults."

Lady Violet intervened, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "Enough teasing, boys. Let us make sure everything is ready for their arrival. They will be here in a few days, and I want everything to be perfect."

As the family dispersed to prepare for their guests, the three Bridgerton brothers found themselves alone in the study.

Anthony leaned against the desk, his expression thoughtful. "It will be good to see Thomas again. He was always a good friend."

Colin nodded. "I heard he’s become quite the gentleman. And he was always supportive of Y/N’s education and talents. Not like most men of our time."

"True," Anthony agreed. "Thomas was never one to adhere strictly to societal norms. He always did what he thought was right."

Benedict, who had been quiet, finally spoke up. "I wonder how much Y/N has changed. She was always so passionate about music and poetry."

Colin grinned. "Still thinking about her, eh? You know, Anthony and I used to place bets on when you would finally tell her how you felt."

Benedict rolled his eyes. "You’re never going to let this go, are you?"

Anthony laughed. "Not a chance. But in all seriousness, Benedict, it will be good to see them again. And who knows? Maybe this visit will bring about some unexpected surprises."

Benedict sighed, but a small smile played on his lips. "Maybe."

Y/N stood by her bedroom window, looking out at the rolling hills of their estate as the sun began its slow descent. She was filled with a mix of excitement and apprehension about their imminent departure to Aubrey Hall. The Bridgertons had always held a special place in her heart, especially Benedict, but years and distance had complicated those feelings.

"Are you ready, Y/N?" Thomas's voice called from the hallway.

Y/N turned away from the window and smiled as her brother entered the room. "Almost. Just gathering my thoughts."

Thomas gave her a knowing look. "Excited to see the Bridgertons again?"

"Of course," Y/N replied, smoothing down her dress. "It's been too long."

Thomas leaned against the doorframe, his expression thoughtful. "You know, Anthony mentioned in his letters that Benedict has been quite busy at the Royal Academy. Apparently, the place is famous for its...nude models."

Y/N's hand froze mid-air, her heart skipping a beat. "Nude models?"

Thomas nodded, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. "Yes, it seems our dear Benedict has been immersing himself in all aspects of art. Anthony said in his letter something about him knocking over an easel while staring at a rather attractive model. Everyone had a good laugh. Quite the scandal, isn't it?"

Y/N's cheeks flushed as she tried to mask her reaction. "It's part of his training, I'm sure. Nothing more."

Thomas watched her carefully, his smirk growing. "You’re right. Still, it's interesting, don’t you think?"

Y/N forced a smile. "What’s your point, Thomas?"

"My point," he said, stepping closer, "is that you seem unusually interested in Benedict’s artistic pursuits."

Y/N met her brother’s gaze firmly. "I’m interested in all my friends' pursuits. Nothing unusual about that."

Thomas chuckled, shaking his head. "Very well. But remember, Y/N, I know you better than anyone. I can tell when something—or someone���is on your mind."

Y/N lifted her chin. "And I can assure you, Thomas, that my mind is perfectly clear."

"Fine, fine," Thomas said, raising his hands in mock surrender. "But if you ever need to talk about anything, you know where to find me."

Y/N nodded, grateful for her brother's support, even if she wasn’t ready to share her feelings. "Thank you, Thomas. Now, let’s focus on the journey ahead."

"Agreed," Thomas said, offering his arm. "Shall we?"

Y/N took his arm, and they made their way downstairs where their parents were waiting. As they stepped outside, she felt excited about the days to come. But also jealousy, which she never felt before in her life. She knew that it was none of her business what Benedict did or did not do. Nevertheless, she could not help herself feeling this way.

The journey to Aubrey Hall was filled with excitement and nostalgia. As their carriage approached the estate, memories of their childhood flooded Y/N’s mind. She felt a mix of eagerness and nervousness, wondering how much had changed. Still, there was a feeling Y/N couldn't shake away. The things that her brother told her about Benedict still haunted her. Benedict changed, she knew that for certain, but she really hoped that his feelings did not.

" It feels so strange to be back again," Thomas said, making Y/N turn to him. "It is like we have never left."

Her father nodded. "I get what you mean. It was like yesterday when you and Benedict were chasing Y/N and Daphne in the garden while Edmund and I were watching with a smile on our faces."

After mentioning the late Viscount, the eyes of your father started to fill with tears. He was in shock when the news came that Edmund passed away. It took him a few months to process the tragic loss of his closest friend. Y/N could not even imagine what Benedict went through.

"We all miss him terribly," your mother said, taking her husband's hand in hers. "But there is no need to sadden ourselves with the past. You will get to see Anthony as the new viscount. I'm sure he fitted the title well."

Your father smiled at his wife and kissed her hand. She always knew how to lift her spirits.

"Just like how Thomas will fit the title of the duke of Ashbourne well." Thomas rolled his eyes while Y/N and her parents started laughing.

"Believe me, father, that it will be years before I will get the title. You will live a long life with mama and your children and grandchildren by your side."

the funny banter between the Ashbourne family was not something new. They always have differed from the rest of the ton. There was no marriage pressure. The duke and duchess put the education of their children first, wanting nothing but happiness for them.

"Look, they have arrived!"

The Ashbourne carriage rolled to a stop in front of Aubrey Hall, the Bridgerton family waiting outside to greet their guests. The air was filled with anticipation and a touch of nostalgia as the two families prepared to reunite after so many years.

Lady Violet stepped forward with a warm smile. "Welcome, welcome!"

The Duke of Ashbourne, a distinguished gentleman with a friendly demeanor, was the first to step out, helping his elegant wife, the Duchess of Ashbourne, out of the carriage. Following them were Thomas and Y/N, who looked around with a mix of excitement and nervousness.

"It’s wonderful to see you, Violet," the Duke said, embracing Lady Violet. "Thank you for having us."

"The pleasure is all ours," Lady Violet replied. "We’ve missed you terribly."

As the Ashbournes stepped out of the carriage, the Bridgerton children moved forward to greet them. Anthony, Colin, and Benedict engulfed Thomas in a warm embrace.

"Thomas, it’s been far too long," Anthony said, clapping him on the back.

"Indeed," Thomas replied, smiling. "It’s good to see you all."

Y/N followed, greeting each Bridgerton sibling with a warm smile and a hug, her demeanor friendly and welcoming. However, when she reached Benedict, her expression changed. She gave him a polite nod; her smile barely reaching her eyes.

When Benedict watched her getting out of the carriage, he only had one thought.

She is breathtakingly beautiful.

Her blonde hair changed into a darker shade of brown, but her eyes were the same. They were still mirroring such beauty he wished he could draw. Her smile was still contagious, affecting him immediately with his own.

" Mr Bridgerton, it is good to see you. How have you been?"

Mr Bridgerton? Why was she so formal suddenly? Was she not as excited to see him as he was seeing her?

"Miss Y/L/N, It is great to see you too. I am well, thank you for asking, been quite busy with my paintings."

Y/N’s gaze turned icy. "So I’ve heard." Without waiting for a response, she turned and walked straight inside, leaving Benedict standing there, bewildered.

As Benedict watched her retreating figure, he felt a pang of hurt and confusion. He glanced towards Thomas, who was already looking at him with a knowing look, a faint smile playing on his lips.

Sensing the tension in the air, Thomas was the first to speak. "Well, it is rather chilly out here. Let’s all follow my dear sister inside, shall we?"

The group laughed, the tension easing slightly as they followed Thomas into the grand entrance hall of Aubrey Hall.

As they made their way inside, the tension between Y/N and Benedict did not go unnoticed by the rest of the family. Lady Violet exchanged a concerned glance with the duchess while Anthony observed the interaction with a furrowed brow.

Once inside, they were led to the grand dining room, where a sumptuous feast awaited them. The grand dining room at Aubrey Hall was resplendent with crystal chandeliers casting a warm glow over the elegantly set table.

The Duke of Ashbourne, seated beside Lord Anthony Bridgerton, raised his glass. “To old friends and new beginnings,” he toasted, his voice rich and warm.

The toast was met with a chorus of agreement and the clinking of glasses. As the first course was served, Lady Violet began the conversation. “William, Eleanor, how has your journey been so far? Any memorable adventures?”

Eleanor smiled, glancing at her children. “It’s been a wonderful experience. We’ve seen so many beautiful places, and the children have learned a great deal.”

“Indeed,” the Duke added. “Thomas and Y/N have taken to it splendidly. Y/N, in particular, has been quite inspired by the landscapes for her poetry.”

Lady Violet’s eyes sparkled with interest. “Poetry, Y/N? That’s marvelous. You must share some with us later.”

Y/N smiled politely. “Of course, my lady. I’d be happy to.”

As the conversation flowed, it eventually turned to the Bridgerton siblings. “Benedict,” the Duke said, turning his attention to the second eldest Bridgerton, “I hear you’ve made quite a name for yourself at the Academy.”

Benedict, who had been quietly observing Y/N, nodded. “Yes, Your Grace. I’ve been fortunate to study under some very talented artists.”

Y/N, unable to suppress her irritation, interjected with a cool tone. “Including some very talented models, I’ve heard.”

The room fell silent, the tension palpable. Benedict’s cheeks reddened slightly, but he maintained his composure. “Yes, we do work with models. It’s a necessary part of our training.”

The duchess, sensing the awkwardness, tried to steer the conversation back on track. “I’m sure the experience has been invaluable, Benedict. Art requires such dedication.”

Benedict nodded, but his eyes remained on Y/N. “It has been invaluable. Every aspect of it contributes to our growth as artists.”

Thomas, ever the peacemaker, chimed in. “Anthony told us about some of your work. It sounds quite impressive.”

Y/N’s lips curled into a tight smile. “Yes, very impressive. Especially the part where you managed to knock over an easel. Quite the spectacle, I hear.”

Benedict’s jaw tightened, and he glanced around the table, noting the concerned expressions of his family. “It was a mistake. One that was quickly rectified.”

Colin, trying to lighten the mood, laughed. “Well, Benedict has always had a flair for the dramatic.”

Eloise nudged her brother. “Perhaps a bit too much flair, at times.”

Laughter rippled around the table, but the underlying tension remained. Y/N felt a pang of guilt but was too stubborn to relent. She glanced at her brother, who gave her a pointed look, silently urging her to ease up.

Lady Violet, ever the gracious hostess, smoothly transitioned the conversation to more neutral topics, asking about the sights the Ashbourne family had visited and their future plans. The dinner continued, but the strained interactions between Y/N and Benedict cast a shadow over the evening.

As dessert was served, Lady Violet addressed Y/N directly. “Y/N, my dear, I’ve heard you play the pianoforte beautifully. Would you grace us with a performance after dinner?”

Y/N, grateful for the distraction, nodded. “Of course. It would be my pleasure.”

The meal concluded with polite conversation, but the tension lingered. Y/N excused herself to prepare for her performance, and as she left the dining room, she felt Benedict’s gaze on her, filled with a mix of hurt and confusion.

Later that evening, Y/N sat at the grand pianoforte in the drawing room, her fingers dancing gracefully over the keys. Heart filled with the hauntingly beautiful melody of a piece, she knew the room—Benedict's favorite.

The Bridgertons and Y/L/N's watched in silent admiration, but Benedict’s eyes never left Y/N. He was captivated, every note and every word pulling him deeper into the memories of their shared past. As the song drew to a close, Y/N’s eyes glistened with unshed tears, and as the last note lingered in the air, a single tear slipped down her cheek. Across the room, Benedict’s own eyes misted over, a tear tracing a path down his face as well. The rest of the family exchanged knowing glances, sensing the intense, unspoken connection between the two.

Y/N stood, curtsied, and, with a polite smile, excused herself from the room, needing a moment alone to compose herself. As she walked down the dimly lit hallway, her heart ached with a mixture of regret and confusion.

Benedict, unable to bear the distance and misunderstanding any longer, quietly followed her into a room. “Y/N, wait,” he called softly.

She stopped but didn’t turn around, taking a deep breath to steady herself. “Yes, Benedict?” Her voice was calm but strained.

He approached her cautiously, his expression a mix of determination and vulnerability. “Why are you treating me like this? What have I done to deserve your coldness?”

Y/N finally turned to face him, her eyes flashing with a mix of anger and hurt. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Benedict. I’ve been perfectly polite.”

Benedict shook his head, frustration evident in his voice. “No, you haven’t. You’ve been distant, cold. This isn’t like you. Please, tell me what’s wrong so that I can fix it."

She crossed her arms defensively, her gaze piercing. “I don’t know what you’re imagining, but there’s nothing wrong. Perhaps you’re just seeing what you want to see.”

His frustration bubbled over, and he stepped closer, his voice low and intense. “This isn’t about what I want to see, Y/N. This is about what’s real. You’ve changed towards me, and I need to know why.”

She took a step back, her breath hitching. “It doesn’t matter, Benedict. Go back to your paintings and models. I could not care less."

His frustration turned to desperation, Benedict reached out and gently but firmly grasped her arm, pulling her back towards him. They stood face to face, the tension between them crackling with electricity. His voice was a murmur, filled with desperate longing. “But you do care, don't you? Why do you care, Y/N? Tell me.”

Her eyes locked onto his, the intensity of his gaze making her heart race. She tried to look away, but he cupped her cheek, forcing her to meet his eyes. “Tell me, Y/N. Please.”

Her defenses crumbled, and she whispered, her voice breaking. “I don’t care. Why should I? What you do is your own concern.”

His grip on her arm tightened slightly, his breath warm against her skin as he leaned in closer. “You do care. I can see it in your eyes. In your big beautiful eyes. Why won’t you admit it?”

Her voice was barely more than a whisper, trembling with the effort of holding back her emotions. “Because it’s easier not to. Because admitting it means facing the truth.”

“What truth?” Benedict’s voice was a mere breath away, his lips inches from hers.

Her heart pounded in her chest, and she could no longer deny the truth to herself or to him. “That I never stopped caring about you, Benedict. That I’ve loved you since we were children, and the thought of you with someone else… it breaks my heart.”

His eyes softened, and he leaned in closer, his breath mingling with hers. “And I’ve loved you, Y/N. I’ve loved you every single day we’ve been apart.”

She closed her eyes, the tears finally spilling over. “Then why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I was a fool,” he admitted, his voice thick with emotion. “I was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same way. But I can’t keep it inside any longer.”

Before she could respond, he closed the distance between them, capturing her lips in a kiss that was both tender and passionate. The world seemed to fade away as they poured all their longing and love into that one moment, finally allowing themselves to feel what they had denied for so long.

When they finally pulled apart, both were breathless, their foreheads resting against each other. “No more secrets,” Y/N whispered, her voice shaky but filled with hope.

“No more secrets,” Benedict promised, his eyes shining with love and determination.

They stood there for a moment, holding each other, the weight of their confessions lifting from their shoulders. The tension that had once filled the air was replaced with a sense of peace and newfound understanding.

Just then, a voice broke the silence. "Well, well, what do we have here?"

Y/N and Benedict sprang apart, startled, as Thomas stepped into the hallway. His expression was serious, his eyes locked on Benedict. Y/N's heart raced, fearing her brother's reaction.

"Thomas, I—" Y/N began, but Thomas held up a hand to silence her.

"I always knew I’d have to deal with this day," Thomas said, his voice low and dangerous. He turned his gaze to Benedict, who stood his ground, though a hint of apprehension flickered in his eyes. "Benedict Bridgerton, you have compromised my sister's honor. There’s only one way to settle this."

Y/N’s eyes widened in fear. "Thomas, please, don’t—"

Thomas continued, a stern look on his face. "We must duel."

The hallway fell silent, the tension thick in the air. Then, to Y/N's utter astonishment, Thomas’s serious expression broke into a wide grin, and he burst out laughing.

"I’m just kidding!" he exclaimed, clapping Benedict on the shoulder. "You should have seen your faces!"

Benedict let out a relieved laugh, shaking his head. "Thomas, you nearly gave us both a heart attack."

Y/N exhaled deeply, her heart still pounding. "Thomas, that wasn’t funny!"

"It was a little funny," Thomas said, still chuckling. "But really, everyone in the drawing room is waiting for you two. They’ve been hoping for this day for a long time."

Y/N and Benedict exchanged a glance, their relief mingled with the lingering rush of adrenaline.

Thomas gestured back towards the drawing room. "Come on, let’s not keep them waiting."

As they re-entered the room, the gathered family turned to look at them. Lady Violet and the duchess’s faces lit up with delight, and Daphne’s eyes sparkled with joy. The Duke of Ashbourne stood beside Lady Eleanor, his expression warm and approving. Anthony, Colin, Eloise, Gregory, and Hyacinth were also present, each showing various degrees of amusement and happiness.

"There you are!" Lady Violet said, her smile warm and knowing. "We were starting to wonder if you’d gotten lost."

"Come on," Colin said, grinning broadly. "Don't keep us waiting. Are you finally together or not?"

Y/N's cheeks flushed as she glanced at Benedict, who nodded, smiling. "Yes, we are," she said, her voice clear and steady.

Lady Eleanor’s face lit up even more. "Well, then, I think it’s safe to say we can start planning a wedding."

Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise. "Mama, it’s way too soon for that!" she exclaimed, her cheeks flushing even deeper.

The Duke of Ashbourne chuckled, patting Y/N's shoulder gently. "Your mother is just excited, dear. But we should let the young couple take their time."

Colin and Anthony, standing near the fireplace, exchanged a look and grinned. "Well, Benedict, looks like you’ve finally caught the eye of a Duke’s daughter," Colin teased.

"Always aiming high, aren’t you, brother?" Anthony added, his tone playful.

Benedict, his arm still around Y/N, beamed. "I guess I’ve always known what I wanted."

Daphne approached Y/N, embracing her warmly. "Welcome to the family, officially."

Y/N’s heart swelled with happiness. "Thank you, Daphne. I’m so glad to be here."

Eloise, ever the sharp-witted observer, smirked. "Well, it’s about time. I was beginning to think you two would never figure it out."

Gregory and Hyacinth, the youngest Bridgerton's, clapped excitedly. "Does this mean we get to have another party?" Gregory asked, his eyes wide with anticipation.

Hyacinth grinned. "I hope so! I love weddings!"

As the evening continued, the family celebrated the long-awaited union. Lady Violet and Lady Eleanor eagerly discussed wedding plans, while the Bridgerton brothers teased Benedict good-naturedly.

Thomas, watching the scene with a satisfied smile, caught Y/N’s eye and gave her an encouraging nod. She smiled back, her heart full.

Later, as the festivities wound down, Y/N and Benedict found a quiet moment together. He took her hand, his eyes full of love. "I meant every word I said earlier, Y/N. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

She looked up at him, her heart brimming with emotion. "And I love you, Benedict. More than I can say."

He leaned down, pressing a tender kiss to her lips. "Let's always be together. Always."

"Agreed," she whispered, feeling the weight of the past lift away.

As they stood there, surrounded by family and love, Y/N knew that this was just the beginning of a beautiful future together.

[woncon]

➳ a stubborn heart

➶ bts x fem!reader ｡˚ °

-ˏ` ✎﹏ you need to choose a future-husband at today's ball. Even if you love seven princes equally. Little do you know, the princes have a plan.

➴ genre: royalty au, fantasy, prince!bts, princess!reader, forbidden love, poly, fluff

: ̗̀➛ warnings: mentions of arranged marriage, but reader has some independence

⌨ :: 2.2K words ♡ ︵ . .

⁀➷ thanks to @wonsheep for helping me fix my grammar mistakes and for giving me advice how to convert a whole story into another language precisely °♡̷•.

➳ bts masterlist | main masterlist

➴ a/n: i recommend listening to mdp's boy with luv orchestral cover while reading. i wrote this fic when i listened to it and it's such a masterpiece !

The princess and her father are descending a marble staircase covered with white carpets trimmed with gold. The participants of the ball all look up at and bow to the host. The man smiles and waves, while squeezing his child's properly held hand and whispering:

"Today you have to choose a prince for yourself. If you don't, I'll give your hand to Leopold."

You grit your teeth, trying not to grimace, still smiling softly. King Leopold is sixty-eight years old, he has had two wives. So far, has no successor, but rules a very rich empire not so far from your homeland. To keep peaceful relations, it would be a great deal if your dad made you marry him. But you would never be able to love that figure.

You were saved from this marriage - desired by your father only - by your mother, who convinced her husband to give you a chance of finding a man worthy of you, with whom you can spend your life happily.

This is your last opportunity to do so. Now, when all the possible princes have shown up, when they are waiting for you to give permission to propose.

"Do you understand me?"

You nod, yet you know you won't succeed, no matter how hard you try.

You already gave your heart away.

At the end of the stairs, the prince of the southern kingdom, Namjoon, whom you first met at the January ball, is waiting for you. The man is suave, wise, and has a library of magic in his mind and a seductive cavalcade of emotions in his heart.

He extends his hand and flashes a polite smile. He is donning an ice-blue coat and snow-white gloves. The king happily nods and hands you over to the young gentleman.

Namjoon leads you to the dance floor and doesn't say anything until you start dancing.

"Is this your last ball as an unmarried girl?" he asks in a whisper, probing.

"Yes, I'm afraid..." You let out a sad sigh. Namjoon turns you around and holds you in his arms again. As long as you look into his eyes, the thought of tomorrow is not so painful.

"Have you decided yet?" 

"You know I can't."

Ever since you had met him, you had a turn on the dance floor together at every ball. You're titled as friends officially. This way, you can share your doubts and fears, the truth with the man.

That you're in love. Into seven princes at once, and it breaks your heart to choose between them, because you know they all would love you back.

Namjoon nods in understanding and your heart pounds in your throat, waiting for what advice he has to give. Although your companion's lips tremble, they do not form words. He breathes a gentle kiss on your silk-covered palm, then leaves you with your own company.

And you find yourself trapped not only by confusion, but also by another prince. You had met the man in the golden clothes at a ball organized by your family, and you danced almost all night. Pans are very good at music and entertainment.

"Hoseok!" you gently caress his shoulder as you continue from where you and Namjoon left off.

"Did you miss me?" The man smiles playfully, his face already flushed. Warmth spreads in your chest. You try to mentally separate from the strangeness of saying goodbye to your previous partner.

"Of course."

"And would you like to marry me, so that you will never suffer from my absence again?"

"I wish it was that easy." Your upper bodies touch as you take a step closer, hand in hand, as required by the choreography.

"It is that easy," he nods encouragingly. "Didn't Namjoon tell you?"

"Tell me what?" You take the prince's outstretched arm and walk around him.

"If he didn't say anything, I won't, either. Taehyung will fill you in."

"Did you organize something?" A spark of hope flares up in you. "Hoseok, please, ‘fess up!"

But your partner only shakes his head with a sweetly insolent smile, and the dance is over. You bow to each other, Hoseok kisses your hand and leaves.

You look around frantically, wanting to find the aforementioned prince, so that you can get the answer from him. You don't see him, and you don't move, therefore you're asked for a dance again.

"May I?" This time the hand is covered by a green satin glove. The color of nature, charm, elves. And Seokjin is their prince-to-be-married. A beautiful, humorous gentleman who is perfectly worthy of your heart.

You’d be a fool to reject the attractive Seokjin's request, but at the same time, you still don't give up your search for Taehyung with a troubled gaze.

"Have you seen Taehyung?" You ask as you stand on your tiptoes to look over his shoulder. Seokjin furrows his expertly arched eyebrows.

"You wouldn’t just accept his ring instead of my emerald, would you?"

"According to Hoseok, he supposedly has something to say to me."

"Oh," he smiles alluringly. "He has something, indeed."

"If you know, please don't torment me anymore. Tell me!"

"I can tell you, but it comes at a price." He leans to your ear, whispering. "Marry me."

"I wish I could." Your eyelashes flutter longingly. You two link your fingers, go around each other, and Seokjin spins you elegantly around your axis.

When the song is over and Seokjin has said his proper goodbye, you start your journey and break through the crowd. There is no way that the prince of the sirens is not here.

Then you see him - the handsome man dressed in gray, but suddenly another individual grabs your waist, and turns you towards him.

"Princess, you're magnificent." Even the voice of King Leopold is wrinkled as he pronounces these words, glancing at his prospective bridge in appreciation.

Finally, the prince of the mermaids enters the scene, who showed you glowing stones in the depths of the water for the first time, and gave you one, so that you would never forget him. You love him so much that you wouldn’t be able to do that.

"Excuse me, are you free for a dance, princess?" Jimin puts on his most charming smile as he bows and offers a helping hand.

Leopold frowns, reluctantly pulling you closer to him.

"She is dancing with me."

"Did you ask her?"

"Forgive me, Your Majesty." Your heart calms as soon as the king lets you go, and your palm slips between the warm fingers belonging to Jimin. Mermaids don't wear gloves, only bracelets made of small shells that wrap around their middle fingers.

"You could thank me by accepting our offer. You would never have to worry about this man again."

"What offer, Jimin? So far none of you have said anything, you've only hinted at things. If you don't fill me in, I'm afraid I'll pass out from excitement."

"Taehyung wants to tell you." Jimin holds your hips tightly as your back bends towards the ground.

"Then why didn't he come to me yet?"

"As much as we'd all dance the night away with you, there are other princesses and countesses besides you, and they have good taste, just like you."

"Was that a compliment?"

"I tried."

You notice that you're not dancing in unison. Although all of Jimin's movements are impeccable, everything is done to the rhythm, you evade couples in the process, getting closer to Taehyung. 

Leopold - determined, in terms of his intentions - is getting closer and closer to you. The next dance form in the evening will be the first waltz. He certainly feels entitled to own your first waltz.

After distancing yourself from Jimin, you hustle in the opposite direction of where Leopold is. Yet a gentle touch lands on your covered wrist. You prepare to shake off the pushy, old king.

"Found you." It's not Leopold, but the prince of the wolves. Even though they have little dancing tradition, he waltzes perfectly and your first waltz at every single ball is his. His moves are dazzling. "May I have this dance?"

"You know it's always yours." You smile with relief as Jungkook pulls you close, and as you get lost in his brown eyes, the surrounding world and everyone in it falls apart. 

He is donning a well-tailored red shirt, his jet-black hair hanging slightly in his eyes, and his smile is sweet. He is the same age as you.

"Are you excited?"

"I can't wait to find out what this is all about."

"You don't know yet?" You shake your head. "Then I'll be watching closely to see your reaction. Maybe it’ll be a bit of an unsettling experience, but even sweeter."

"You are all sly, the way you keep secrets from me." 

Jungkook laughs. You step in front of and next to each other, in sync and harmony, as you fight the battle of words. 

When the song is over, Taehyung can finally take your hand in his. At first you're so excited that you can hardly speak.

"Tell me!" The prince tilts his head. "The plan. Please."

The siren smiles. He can move his lips very charmingly. Near his home, on the beach, he had kissed you. You had almost lost your mind from the beauty, from feeling as if you were the most beautiful woman in the whole world for Taehyung.

"This is your last ball," declares the prince, then he leans closer to murmur the tingly continuation "Because we're running away tonight."

"What?" You step aside, luckily not onto your partner's feet. 

But you can't pry for any more explanations at the moment, a short exchange of couples takes place, the male member of the couple dancing next to you grabbing you by the arm, making a circle before you could talk to Taehyung again.

"How?"

"All you need to do is go out to the balcony with Yoongi. He will fly you to his own land, where we will all gather, and from the moment you run away, you'll already be ours."

You'll be theirs. Your body goes numb at the thought that this is indeed possible: you don't have to choose, because you can have them all without your father inflicting a terrible fate on you.

"Hold me tight!" As if all the air had been squeezed out of your lungs. The surprise weighs heavily on your whole being. Euphoria and terror mingle in it - betrayal is being prepared, but for the sake of love.

"That is all I want." Taehyung hugs you, leads you and whispers sweet nothings about the future, begging you to agree. He doesn't know yet, that as soon as you heard the news, you were already in it. You just can't communicate this yet.

The dance is over.

"We’ll see each other again soon, right?" You smile, adjusting the silver seaweed crown on your partner's head, for whom this sparkling look and the hidden hint of the words are enough answers for his question. "Take me anywhere you want, because I am yours. And thank you for being mine."

"Forever." The boy leaves.

You close your eyes, sighing. You want to calm down, you don't want to seem suspicious. You can't screw up your only chance at actual happiness. You are beginning to like the fact that you found out the result of beating around the bush only now. If you had been aware of it before, it's not certain that you would have reached this part of the evening in such a peaceful state of being.

Finally, the prince of dragons, the seventh of your loves, approach you to dance at your last ball, but he notices something about your body.

"You're trembling..." He gently hugs your waist, stopping with you during the movement so that you move a little further on the floor.

Before your first dragon ball, you were afraid of the majestic but terrifying creatures. Until the prince led you into the flower maze and showed you his body covered in night gray scales.

His horns are still twisted towards the sky, but you don't feel even a slight bit of fear around him anymore. 

"Did something happen?"

"I think I need some air." Then you lean a little closer, clinging to the other's shoulder with a pleading look. "Take me out of here, please."

Yoongi flashes a satisfied, proud grin, which beautifully paints his often gloomy face. He grabs your waist, holding hands with you, spinning and turning to reach the balcony door. 

He opens it for you. The cool summer breeze caresses your bare upper arms, the liberating idea of ​​distance. Yoongi takes your hand again and guides you to the railing, where he stands up himself and helps you - his beloved - up. 

The depth is repulsive and attractive at the same time. Your legs are shaking.

"We're going to jump," he murmurs, then reassuringly adds: "Don't be afraid, I'll catch you."

"I trust you," you answer with a nod. 

Then you jump, shutting your eyes, without screaming, and in the next moment, you're on a strong dragon's back between the two wings. You cling to the horns. 

And you fly in the starlit night towards the land of dragons, freedom and love.

[doumadono]

Emergency request!

Hello, I saw that you had the emergency requests open and I thought about requesting an Izuku x reader in which the reader is from another country or a different city in Japan, they met in 4th grade and now at UA are they still together?

5 years and 7 months ago I moved from my country to another (both with the same language). Although I have managed to adapt well, there are times when I can't help but cry a little when remembering my life in my country. Nowadays no one (not even my family or closest friends) knows about the fact that I miss everything, the celebrations, the birthdays, the traditions, my friends, my family, etc.... How would Izuku react to seeing his partner that he has known for years being sad for missing his friends/family? Izuku never knew about this until reader for the first time lets out her feelings because a memory made her remember?

Thank you very much in advance, and if you don't feel comfortable making this request feel free to ignore it.

A/N: I can imagine how challenging it must be to keep those feelings hidden. I moved to another country few years ago, and I feel the same way at times. It's perfectly natural to miss the celebrations, traditions, and the people you hold dear. Your strength and resilience in adapting to a new life are commendable, and I hope you find moments to cherish your memories from your homeland. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here to listen 🌟

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

In the bustling city of Musutafu, UA High School was a place where heroes were born. It was a place where dreams soared high, and for Izuku Midoriya, one of the brightest stars in the hero firmament, it was a place of both ambition and love.

The golden rays of the morning sun streamed through the window of his dorm room as Izuku opened his eyes, greeted by a soft, warm light. He stretched, his thoughts slowly transitioning from dreams to reality, but his mind was already filled with thoughts of someone special.

Izuku had met you back in fourth grade when your family had moved to Musutafu from another country. You were from a far-off land, and your accent had been like music to Izuku's ears. That fateful day on the schoolyard, you'd been the new student, and he'd been the one who offered to show you around. Little did he know that your meeting would turn into a lifelong connection, blossoming into love.

Your relationship had grown alongside your aspirations to become heroes, and the bond between you had only strengthened. Today, as the sun cast its warmth over the city, Izuku thought about the next surprise he had planned for you.

After class, he found you in the common room of the dormitory, engrossed in a book that was written in your native language. Seeing you lost in thought, he approached quietly, and a tender smile played on his lips. "Hey there," he said softly, leaning over your shoulder to steal a quick kiss.

You jumped in surprise but soon broke into a radiant smile. "Izuku! You startled me."

"Sorry about that," he said, ruffling his hair. "What are you reading?"

You closed the book gently and sighed. "It's a novel from my homeland. I've been missing it lately, and reading in my native language helps me feel closer to home."

Izuku could sense the longing in your voice, and his heart ached for you. "I know it's hard being so far from home. But you have me, and I'm here to support you."

You placed a hand on his cheek, gazing deeply into his eyes. A heavy sigh escaped your lips.

Izuku, always attentive to your moods, turned his gaze toward you, concern etched on his face. "What's wrong, Y/N?" he asked, his voice laced with worry.

You put down your book and looked into his eyes, your own filled with a mixture of sadness and frustration. "I appreciate everything you do for me, and I love you for it, but sometimes, it's just hard." Your voice quivered with the weight of your emotions.

Izuku reached out and took your hand, squeezing it gently, silently encouraging you to continue.

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you confessed, "You see, it's difficult for me to explain what I truly feel because you've never been in such a position yourself. You've always been here in Japan, surrounded by your family and everything you've ever known. But for me, it's different. I left behind everything I knew, and I miss it every single day, no matter how welcomed I feel here."

Izuku's expression softened, and he nodded, understanding the depth of your struggle. "That's right, I can't imagine what it's like, Y/N, to leave behind your home, your family, and everything familiar. I want to be there for you, but I know I can never fully understand."

You squeezed his hand in return, grateful for his understanding. "I know you try your best, Izuku, and I appreciate that. But sometimes, the ache in my heart, the homesickness, it's just something I can't put into words. It's like a piece of my soul is missing, you know?"

Izuku leaned in, wrapping his arms around you in a comforting embrace. "I may not fully comprehend, that's true, but I promise to stand by your side, to support you, and to help you find ways to feel closer to home, ok? Maybe we can start with something simple? Maybe we can cook some dish from your country for today's supper?"

Your tears flowed freely as you buried your face in his shoulder, taking solace in his presence. "Thank you. Just having you here means the world to me."

He held you tighter, his love and support a comforting presence. And in that moment, you knew that no matter how far from home you were, you had found a home in each other's hearts.

[mooniania]

Hardly Ever Smile (Without you) PT2

SYNOPSIS - You are typically the quiet girl that no one talks to and who has a hard time showcasing any emotion, so what happens when a very good-looking guy starts to pay attention to you?

PAIRING - soobin x fem!reader

GENRE - angst, fluff, friends to strangers? to lovers!

WARNINGS - mentions of cheating, cussing, mentions of kissing (if i missed any more let me know!)

WORD COUNT - 6,428

part 1 if you haven’t read it yet! -> Hardly Ever Smile (Without You)

a/n - i’m so sorry this took forever to get out it’s been months i apologize and i hope the word count makes up for it! If you enjoyed please like and reblog it’s appreciated.

You were such a fool to think Soobin would like someone like you.

But whatever, that was over now, and that was past you. You didn’t want to stay upset about Soobin; he wasn’t yours to begin with. But you couldn’t be friends with him anymore. It wouldn’t be fair to his girlfriend if he had a friend who was a girl who had a crush on him. You didn’t have any clue what to do. Ignoring him at school would be awfully impossible, so truly, your only option was to just stay friends with him, distance yourself from him, and then you would be able to say that you guys had fallen out naturally.

After the plan was over and you weren’t friends with Soobin, you weren’t quite sure what you would do with yourself. Would you just go back to being regular old you, or, most importantly, would you ever be able to find someone who made you as happy as him?

That was a question for after the plan.

You entered your first class of the day and took a seat in your spot. This class happened to be history, the only class you had with Soobin. Since you and Soobin only had one class together, he usually walked you to your other classes, and then during lunch, y’all would part ways, he had lunch with his group of friends.

and you, well, you had no one.

It was sad, but it was the truth. It was your fault, though; you never let yourself get close to anyone, and Soobin was now a reminder of why you never got close to anyone.

As you were patiently waiting for class to start, you put music in your headphones and listened to it until you felt a tap on your shoulder. You instantly knew who it was. You looked to your side to find Soobin with a huge smile on his face. "Y/N, guess what?" he said excitedly while bouncing his leg really fast. What?" Your cold response seemed to make his excitement go down, and you can see the shift as he frowned. "Are you okay?" he asked, and before you could respond, he started to talk again. "Actually, this reminds me, why didn’t you show up for our study session?" You wished he would’ve just not brought it up, and as you remembered what you had witnessed that night, you felt your eyes watering. "Oh, um, I caught a cold," you responded, looking down to fidget with your fingers. "Then why didn’t you respond to my message?"

Why does he have to ask so many fucking questions? "I fell asleep, sorry, just continue with what you were going to tell me," you say, looking back up at him and giving him a small smile while continuing, "you seemed very excited to tell me.” “Oh right, well, I've been meaning to tell you this because it’s been about 2 months, but we decided to keep it a secret until now," he says, shyly blush, covering his cheeks, and you feel your heart drop. You knew exactly where this was going. "I have a girlfriend; you know Moon Haeun, right?" How could you not know? She was the most beautiful girl in the school, and what makes it even worse is that she is the sweetest girl ever; she's a sunshine, she’s outgoing, she's popular, and she is also the complete opposite of you.

"Oh, congrats, you say in an unenthusiastic tone, your voice slightly trembling. You quickly face the front of the class, hoping that class will start soon while trying to hold back your tears. "Y/N, I thought you would be happier for me." You look back at Soobin, and you can see how disappointed he was, and you can’t help but feel like a monster. "I am, but you know I can’t express my emotions well." You felt anxious. You were bouncing your leg up and down. Your tears were extremely obvious by this point, and all you wanted was for the teacher to finally show up and start class. "I’ve seen you be happy before when we were at the amusement park. You were smiling and having fun. So why can’t you showcase happiness for me right now?"

because I'm so in love with you that it physically hurts.

That's what you wanted to say, but you didn't, and to your luck, your teacher had finally arrived. Every student stood up and bowed to the teacher before taking a seat again. You looked over at Soobin, and he quickly looked away from you, shaking his head in disappointment. You could tell he was upset at the fact that you never gave him a response.

Your plan was never to end things on bad terms with Soobin, so during class you were planning on talking to him while he walked you to your class and just telling him that you still felt off from the cold.

That's what you wanted to tell him, but you didn't have the chance. When class ended, he walked out almost immediately; he usually waited for you. When you finally walked out of the classroom, you saw him with Haeun, who was leaning on the lockers. Both were giggling and having fun while you felt your world crashing down. You weren’t the one for him, and you never were. Seeing how cheerful she made him after you made him gloomy proved exactly that.

School today was so different than usual. You were so used to Soobin walking you to your classes, and now you had no one. The only thing that would be normal today was lunch. During lunch, you went and sat on a very old bench outside of school. It was comforting for you. You got fresh air, and you didn’t have to worry about anything. Today would be exactly the same, or so you thought until you saw a girl you had never seen before sitting on one side of the bench. Normally no one ever sits there because of how the bench looks, but she did. You decided to take a seat next to her and mind your own business.

"Oh hi," she said, bowing her head at you. She was extremely beautiful. She had plum lips and beautiful wavy brown hair. You bowed your head back at her and continued to unwrap a sandwich you had made for lunch. As you were about to take a bite of your sandwich, you heard her speak again. "I'm sorry if I’m bothering you, but I’m new and I was wondering if you could help me get to my classes," she says, leaning a piece of paper towards you that has her schedule on it.

You put down your sandwich and wiped your hands with a napkin before touching the edge of the paper and tugging, indicating to her that you wanted to grab it to look closer at her schedule. She lets go of her schedule, and you both fall into silence while you look at her schedule.

You finally speak again and break the extremely awkward silence by saying, "I can help you. We have most classes together," you say while handing her schedule back. "Thank you so much. My name is Yunjin. Huh Yunjin." She bows her head at you again. "No problem," you reply, grabbing your sandwich so you can take a bite. "May I get your name?" she asks. "My name? Why do you want to know my name?" You didn’t intend for it to come out sounding impolite, but it did. “Sorry, I was just hoping you would like to become friends with me." She looks down at her fingers, embarrassed at her attempt to make friends. “Y/n," you say. "My name is Y/n. We can be friends if you want, but just so you know, I don't have any other friends. I- I’m not very good at being friends with people." She looks back up at you with a smile on her face.

“I can teach you how to be friends with people. We can be the best of friends if you let me. I pinky promise." She said she was raising her pinky and waiting for you to raise yours as well. You said you wouldn’t let anyone into your life again, but maybe this could be different. She was different. “Alright," you said, raising your pinky next to hers, and you felt Yunjin tighten both of your pinkies together. You couldn’t help but let out a small giggle, and she couldn’t help but also let out a giggle while letting go of your pinky. You look down at the sandwich that is in your lunchbox and then notice Yunjin has nothing to eat.

“Yunjin, do you? Would you like half of my sandwich?" you ask, splitting your sandwich in half and signaling for her to take one half with your hand. "But wouldn’t you be hungry?" she asks before hesitantly grabbing one half of the sandwich out of your hand. "Oh no, it’s okay; I usually never finish my sandwich either way." Complete lie, but you couldn’t help but feel a soft spot for Yunjin; she was probably one of the only people besides Soobin who was not afraid to approach you and talk to you.

You and Yunjin ate in comfortable silence; lunch was about to end, and you both didn’t want to have to throw away your sandwiches. You then wondered why you hadn’t seen Yunjin during History class since that was the first class of the day. You wanted to ask, but you felt too shy to bring up conversational stuff like this. "Are you done with your sandwich? I can throw our napkins away in the trash bin nearby," Yunjin asks, standing up and reaching her hand out so you could give her your dirty napkin. “Oh, thank you," you say, handing her your napkin.

She walked back to the bench, about to take a seat again, when the bell rang. “Oh, that’s the bell. We should get to our art class." You said you were standing up and dusting off your uniform, which was filled with breadcrumbs. “Alrighty, show me the way," she said enthusiastically, taking you by surprise when she linked her arm with yours. You weren’t quite used to physical affection, but Yunjin seemed to love it, so you didn’t mind.

You and Yunjin walked into the cramped halls arm in arm. You could feel the stares of students when you both arrived at art class. "Never knew she had friends," you heard a student say out loud, and the others laughed at this remark. As you were about to walk Yunjin to your desk, you heard the teacher speak. "What’s so funny?" the teacher said while entering class, immediately going silent. “Oh, you must be Huh Yunjin, right?" the teacher said while signaling her to come forward. You let go of Yunjin’s arm and took a seat. "Please introduce yourself." "My name is Huh Yunjin, and I come from a performance school in New York." She bows towards the class and waits for the teacher to give her further instructions. "Thank you, Yunjin. I hope we have a good year together. You may take a seat wherever you’d like, "the teacher said, signaling empty seats. Yunjin took a seat next to you; she turned to you and gave you a smile before facing forward to hear further instructions from the teacher.

The rest of your school day was spent getting to know Yunjin more. You both laughed in class telling each other silly stories about your childhood, and sure, you got looks here and there, but she didn’t pay attention to them, so you didn’t either. At the end of the day, you and Yunjin exchanged numbers. You had expected today to be horrible, but thanks to her, it wasn’t.

Tuesday was going to be a good day, and you knew that. You had Yunjin and Soobin for history class. You wanted to clear things up with Soobin so you could end on good terms. But unfortunately, things never go your way. When you entered, you saw Soobin sitting with his friend, who had called you a weirdo, and when you passed him, his face had a sour expression. You sat down in your regular spot soon after Yunjin entered the classroom looking for you. When she spotted you, she gave you a huge smile and walked towards you to sit on Soobin's old chair. Soobin noticed how excited Yunjin looked to see you, and when he looked back, he was shocked to see you return a smile at her. From what Soobin knew, you had never had any friends, so how come it was so easy to replace him, or were you just lying to him to catch his attention?

“Hey, why doesn’t anyone ever sit by you?" Yunjin said she found it weird how in every class she had with you, you never seemed to have a tablemate. "Oh well, someone did sit there, but he changed his seat," you replied, looking at Soobin. "Why?" she asked. She noticed how everyone found you weird, but she didn’t understand why. Well, we used to be close, and then something happened. I wanted to end things on a good note, but he hasn’t talked to me since," you explained quietly so Soobin wouldn’t hear you. "What an ass," Yunjin replied, "sounds like he needs to know how to have a conversation." No, it was my fault; I was the one who pushed him away, if anything," you said, looking down at your lap. "Oh well, that’s what I’m here for, right? I'm going to teach you how to be friends, remember?" She says this, grabbing your hand and giving it a squeeze.

Soobin noticed this interaction and was not happy at all. He hated how Yunjin was probably falling for your stupid sob story. He hated how you didn’t care about his feelings. He hated how you didn’t even try to talk to him, but you could quickly open up to a new girl. but he doesn’t know why he hated it. He had his group of friends, not to mention his girlfriend, so why did he care so much if you had other friends who weren't him?

During lunch, you and Yunjin decided to share both of your lunches together on the same bench where you both met. You were having fun, and occasionally Yunjin would make an extremely bad dad joke and would get jokingly upset at you when you wouldn’t laugh at it. The first time she got upset at you jokingly, you really thought she was upset, and you were almost in tears, but she had to clarify that she wasn’t upset, and she gave you a hug to cheer you up. You felt comfortable with Yunjin; she was an easy person to talk to about anything. You even told her about You and Soobin instead of judging you. She was understanding and didn’t try to solve the issue; she just comforted you, and you really liked that.

You really did still want to talk to Soobin to clear things up, but he was busy with his girlfriend anywhere you and Yunjin went. Soobin and his girlfriend were also there. It's like you couldn’t escape them, so over the week you gave up and stopped trying to fix your friendship with Soobin.

After a few weeks turned into months, you stopped caring what Soobin was up to. You had Yunjin, and as bad as that sounded, it was true that she was there to uplift you when you were down. You and Yunjin were stuck by the glue; y’all had started doing everything together, going shopping for clothes and makeup. You normally didn’t really care for your looks, not that you hated makeup or were against it. You just didn’t know how to use it, but Yunjin was kind enough to teach you. You and Yunjin went to lots of bookstores, music stores, and arcades. She truly was your best friend. She even taught you how to express your emotions more, and by the end of the school year, you were more talkative than you were before meeting her.

During the summer, you both decided to get a job at a local bakery for some extra money. You enjoyed spending your time with Yunjin. You were surprised that you guys hadn’t run out of anything to talk about yet. Y’all spent almost every second of every day together when it was time for University to begin. Both of you decided to get a dorm together. You girls were truly inseparable.

University was like a fresh start. There were more people in a University than in a high school. You hadn’t been trying to find love ever since Soobin, and to be honest, you hadn’t been curious about Soobin for a long time, but you did know that he was still with his girlfriend. He had shown up on your Instagram feed a week ago, and you couldn’t help but look through his account. Although you weren’t happy with the way things ended with you and Soobin, and you knew that the chances of you ever reconciling your friendship with him were slim, you were just happy he was happy.

On your first day of university, you were excited and nervous because you and Yunjin weren’t majoring in the same thing; you were majoring in photography while Yunjin was majoring in business. So you didn’t have any classes together.

You decided to take a seat not too close to the teacher but not too far; you couldn’t see that far. Your first University class had begun, and it was the most boring thing you had to sit through, so the relief your body felt when you were able to leave was unimaginable. As you were leaving, you spotted a familiar person in front of you, but you couldn’t make out who he was. That was until he turned back, suddenly bumping into you. “Oh, sorry, I wasn’t looking," he said without looking directly at your face and bowing down. but you instantly knew it was Soobin from his voice. “Oh, it’s okay," you replied, bowing down and getting out of his way so you could continue to walk out. "Y/n?" Just like you recognized his voice, he recognized yours as well. You stopped and turned around. "Oh hi," you said. You didn’t know what else to say. He stopped talking to you, and suddenly he wanted to finally talk to you. "How’ve you been?" He asked Soobin realized how much of an ass he was back in high school; he never fully let you explain why you weren’t great at showing your emotions, and he felt bad about it. He was such an asshole, assuming that you had bad intentions. "I’ve been good." You wanted to keep it short and simple. You knew he had a girlfriend, and this was probably wrong in some ways.

Oh, that’s good," he said with a small smile on his face. "How have you been?" You decided to ask back because you didn’t want to seem self-centered. Oh, I've been good as well; thanks for asking." Soobin said, and then you both fell into an awkward silence before you decided to dismiss yourself. Alright, I have to go goodbye," you said quickly, turning away from him as fast as possible. "Can we possibly catch up later or whenever it works for you?" he said as you were about to leave. "Oh sure, just text me." You are the stupidest person alive; why would you accept his offer? You didn’t know if you could stop yourself from falling in love with him again.

When you arrived at the dorms, you immediately told Yunjin everything. Well, just make sure that he has the right intentions." Yunjin said, and that was truly not helping you. How the hell were you supposed to know what his intentions were? Alright, we’ll go shower; I need to relax," you said, entering your bathroom. As you put your phone down on the counter, you saw your phone light up with a text notification on the lock screen.

Soobin 6:17

"Do you want to meet up tomorrow at Sugar Rush Cafe in the morning before class at 8 a.m.?"

You didn’t want to make yourself look desperate, so you decided to take your shower before responding. During your hour-long shower, you were wondering how you would reply and what both of you would talk about. There wasn’t much to say, and you weren’t even sure if you wanted to be his friend again. You weren’t sure if you could handle it yet. After your shower, you finally decided to reply.

Y/n 7:40

Yeah, sure, that sounds good!"

Soobin 7:41

Alright, see you there!"

The next morning, you woke up early so you could do some light makeup and catch the bus in time. You were anxious; you’d been overthinking anything that he might ask you and how you would respond. You even decided to get to the cafe 20 minutes earlier than planned. “Hey, Chaewon, I’m going to wait for someone, so I’m going to take a seat before ordering." Sugar Rush Cafe was the bakery you and Yunjin worked at, and you both met Chaewon, who was the daughter of the people who owned the bakery, and you all got pretty close, even hanging out multiple times with her during the summer. “Ooooo, are you waiting for a special someone?" She teased, wiggling her eyebrows up and down while you stood near the counter talking to her. “No, Chae, he was my old friend, and we fell out of friendship, and now he wants to chat, I guess." He definitely wants more than just a friendship," she said, continuing to tease. "Chae!" you exclaimed. "He has a girlfriend. I would never date someone who is taken. That’s shitty." You replied defensively. "Sorry! I had no idea." Chaewon said, “Okay, well, since it’s not busy yet, we can chat until he arrives." Alrighty," you said with a smile on your face.

It didn’t take long for Soobin to arrive, as he arrived 10 minutes before you both had planned, and he was shocked to see you sitting on a stool near the counter laughing with the worker. Both of you seemed to be deep into conversation. He finally decided to enter the bakery, the doorbell ringing as he walked in. "Oh hi, Soobin," you said with a huge smile plastered on your face, which wasn’t super normal for him to see. "Hi, have you ordered yet?" he asked. “Nope, I was waiting for you, but now that you're here, we can order!" You said since you had been talking with Chaewon, you felt your energy level go up, and instead of feeling nervous, you felt more calm. Before he could speak, you had already started ordering with Chaewon. “Okay, Chae, I’ll take an iced caramel macchiato. What would you like, Soobin?" you say, looking at him. Oh, an Iced Americano will do, thank you." He said he had never seen you order for yourself when you both were friends, and he would be the one to do it despite being shy. It was like seeing a new person. “Okay, that will be 6.82," Chaewon said, reaching for Y/N’s card before Soobin put his card in front of yours. "I’ll pay; I invited you after all," he said with a smile on his face. “No, it’s okay, I'll pay-" you tried saying before he interrupted you. “Chaewon, please run my card," he said, handing Chaewon his card. Okay, both of your drinks will be ready in a few minutes. You may take a seat until I call y’all’s names."

"Thank you," Soobin said while bowing his head to Chaewon. "Where do you want to sit?" Soobin asked. “Oooo, let’s sit in that corner," you said instinctively, grabbing his arm but quickly letting go. Sorry, I'm just so used to linking arms with my friend." You said you were embarrassed, but he had just found it cute. When you both were friends, you had never let him grab your arm or hand. He liked how your friends brought out the happiness in you. "It’s alright, let’s just take a seat," he said, chuckling. He didn’t want you to feel awkward with him as well.

"Thank you for buying the coffee; you really didn’t have to." You said you felt bad that he paid for the drink, and you were practically death-staring Chaewon when she took his card. "It’s alright, it was nothing," he said. Anyways, how have you been? You know in depth this time, not the basic "I’m good" answer," he said, slightly mocking you with a smile that showcased his beautifully dimpled cheeks. “Well, it really has been good. My friend and I went to a lot of places during the summer, and she really has taught me a lot." You said you couldn’t help but talk about Yunjin. She was a huge part of your life. “Oh, Yunjin, right? I’m glad that you had someone like her." He said he felt bad that he hadn’t stayed friends with you. He was so quick to assume, and he wanted to clear things up, which is why he wanted to meet with you. He had also just hoped that maybe the two of you could be friends.

"Me too; she's great." You were happy just thinking of Yunjin; she was a really big part of your life. "Y/N, I’m sorry that I was such an ass in high school." Soobin suddenly comes up, and you are confused. He was never mean to you at all. What was he talking about? "I’m sorry, Soobin, I don't know what you mean; you weren’t an ass."

"You know, I just stopped talking to you randomly, and I could see that you were hurt when I did," he explained nervously. "It’s okay, Soobin; I never tried to reach out, so it was also my fault as well.

"But enough about that, Soob; how have you been?" you asked. Yunjin told you that whatever happens, continue the conversation and don’t let it go dry. "Oh, I've been great. I also hung out with my friends during the summer; I'm not sure how I feel about University yet," he said. "Me neither, I mean Yeah, I know it’s only been a day, but I’m still adjusting," you replied. "Same I-," Soobin began before getting interrupted by Chaewon yelling out both of your names. "I’ll go get the coffee," you say, standing up from your chair. "So how’s it going with Soobin?" she says teasingly. Chaewon, you know he has a girlfriend," you replied. You didn’t want to ruin his relationship; that was not your intention. "Right, sorry, I forgot. Well, well good luck," she said, handing you the coffees. "Thank you; have a good day, Chaewon," you said. "No problem, and you too," she said before you walked towards Soobin. "Hey, would you rather us walk and drink our coffees? You know, get some fresh air while chatting." You suggested the cafe was starting to get busier because of all the people waking up to start their days. "Alright," Soobin replied.

On this walk, you got to know a bit more about him again, and vice versa; it felt like both of you had never stopped talking to each other. “So, Soob, how’s your girlfriend?" you asked. You both stopped at a park nearby a couple of minutes before class started. You two didn’t want to be that early; you got on a swing and signaled Soobin to get on the other one. You wanted to know how his relationship was going on Instagram; they looked like the happiest couple, but his sudden quietness when you asked made you think otherwise. "Oh well, I don’t know." "What do you mean you don’t know?" you replied, confused. What could possibly be wrong with his relationship?

"I caught her cheating on me during the summer with one of my friends." He looked like he was trying to hold back tears from falling down, and then he spoke again. "And then again more recently." You felt your heart drop for him. You knew how it felt to be heartbroken. Oh, I'm sorry, Soobin. I didn’t know," you said, rubbing his back in an attempt to comfort him.

"Why haven’t you ended things?" You spoke again. Why would he just let her continuously cheat on him? " I did, but she told me I wouldn't ever be able to find someone who loves me as much as her, and I know that it’s true. Who would ever like someone like me?" You felt terrible for him; he truly believed this, and you could tell. Soobin never had much confidence, and this was a well-known thing. You wished you could’ve told him how you felt about him at that moment, but you couldn’t. "That’s not true, Soob; I’m sure lots of girls would like you." You said you were trying to comfort him, but you could tell that didn’t help.

"May you please get up?" You asked what you were about to do, which required you to be standing; otherwise, it would be awkward. "Hm?" Soobin said, but complied. You opened your arms, moved them under Soobin's, and leaned in for a hug. It was indeed extremely awkward, and he couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. "Thank you," he said as he let go, a smile on his face, so you knew you had indeed cheered him up. "Yunjin said it would cheer people up," you said, now slightly embarrassed. "I see Yunjin has taught you a lot. Maybe one day I’ll be able to meet her properly." He had a smile so big that the tears that were previously forming started to fall. You watched as he wiped them off with his knuckles. "Let’s go to class; it's getting late, cmon!" You mentioned fleeing from him. "Wait for me!" he said, running behind you.

“God, I’m out of breath," you said, entering your University class. "We wouldn’t be out of breath if you didn’t decide to run." Soobin exclaimed. "Did you want us to be late?" you said while walking up the steps towards your seat. "You're right," he said, accepting defeat. "When am I not?" you said jokingly. He takes a seat next to you; you weren’t quite expecting that, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have a friend in class.

Your mornings continued like this for the past 2 months; it was a daily routine. You both would go to the cafe, take a walk to the park, and then go to class. And university was so much better with a friend who you had classes with. Although sometimes you would have to deal with Soobin being sad because he suspected his girlfriend had been cheating on him again, You felt horrible for him, but you could never tell him how you felt. Never. You both hang out in and out of school. When he met Yunjin, it was quite awkward, but with time, they warmed up to each other. And same with his friends; you met his best friends, Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Kai. They had become very important people in your lives as well.

Currently, you are on Soobin and Yeonjun's dorm couch, working on a project that you have to finish with Soobin. "Hey y/n, let’s do something else. I want to take you somewhere." Soobin said out of nowhere, and that had taken you aback. "Where are we going?" you said, looking up from your laptop to look at him, your face filled with confusion. "It’s a secret; just trust me," he said with a light smirk on his face, and now you are curious as to what the hell he was up to. “Fine, let’s go," you said, closing your laptop and getting up from the couch. "Wait, you need a blindfold." Soobin says to run to his room to grab something to close your eyes with. "Alright, put this sleep mask on," he said, handing you a black sleeping mask. "Is this necessary?" you asked. “Where on earth could you be going that you needed an eye mask? "Very c'mon, you can put it on when you are in the car so you don’t have trouble walking to the car," he said, grabbing your hand. You felt your cheeks heat up.

A long car ride later, without being able to see where you were arriving, you finally felt the car jolt to a stop. Alright, we are here. “I’ll help you get out, don't worry," he says, and you hear the car door shut and feel your side of the door swing open. Here, grab my hand and make sure you don’t hit your head on the car." Soobin was very attentive when talking to you. He didn’t want you to get hurt. You feel Soobin's hand and move your leg out of the car as you were about to move the other one and take a step outside. You felt yourself starting to lose balance until you felt Soobin's hand lay on your waist. "Don’t worry, I've got you," he said, chuckling. You were completely clueless and had no idea when you had both gone, but he knew you would love it. "Just hold onto my arm and I’ll let you go," he said, latching his arm with yours. "Okayyy," you say. You just wanted to take off your mask and see why you were so impatient.

After a few minutes of walking on a trail, Soobin stops. Okay, you can take off your mask now." Soobin says, and so you do, and once you do, you are greeted with a field of flowers of all different kinds. “Wow, Soobin, this is amazing! I haven’t seen anything like this before!" you said with a huge smile on your face. “C'mon, let’s continue walking the trail; there’s more," he said, chuckling down at you. Seeing your excitement and happiness was one of his favorite things by far. You both continued walking, and you continued talking about how pretty all the flowers were while Soobin was admiring your own beauty.

At the end of the trail, you saw a red and white plaid blanket with a picnic basket and a bunch of cut-up fruits surrounding it. “Wow, Soobin, this is awesome," you said, looking up at him. Both of your arms were still linked together. “Let’s take a seat." And so both of you walked towards the picnic blanket and took a seat. "Why did you bring me here, Soob?" you asked curiously while eating a strawberry. “Well, you know how me and Haeun have been on and off," he started, and you now felt nervous as to what he was going to say. "I broke it off with her a month ago. I haven’t told anyone." Soobin said nothing and stayed quiet before continuing. "I realized I deserve someone better," he said with a small smile on his face. "That’s good, Soobin; I'm glad you learned that you are worth more than how she treated you," you replied, rubbing your hand against his shoulder. You were happy that he realized that she was never going to change.

"But what am I doing here?" you asked him, now confused. “Well, in that one month, I realized that I really liked someone, so I prepared something special for them, and if it goes according to plan, then I hope I will be able to date her." The smile was so big that his eyes turned into crescents. Whoever this girl was, you just hoped he made her happy. “Well, I hope she treats you better," you said with a smile on your face. “Yeah, well, I hope so too," he said, putting his hand on your thigh and looking around. "When are you planning to confess?" you asked, making him look back at you and chuckle at your cluelessness. He grabbed your hands and caressed them with his thumbs. You felt yourself blushing.

"Y/n.. I really, really like you. You’ve been there for me when no one else has and I was so stupid that I hid my feelings away in high school .Will you be my girlfriend?" He said he was looking deeply into your eyes. With his face close to yours, you could feel his breathing. "Yes," you replied with tears in you eyes and that was all you had to say before Soobin captured your lips. One of his hands was grabbing your waist while the other was caressing your cheek. Your arms were thrown around his neck. The kiss was nice and gentle; there were lots of feelings that were built up, finally letting go. For the longest time, this was the thing you had been wanting, and now it was finally yours. When you both let go for a breather, you both laughed while holding each other. You looked into his eyes filled with joy and happiness and knew that everything you had ever dreamed of him at night was finally becoming reality.

© mooniania 2023

do not copy, translate, rewrite or repost any of my works on any other social media platform.

taglist: @pinkisthenewangst, @alexs-mardy-bum, @sato-chan-2709, @sheeshhhhfelixsworld

[axel-skz]

I’m riding on my pain and tears

A/N: I KNOW THIS ISNT EVEN A LITTLE LIKE CHAN AND I WANNA DISCLOSE THAT! I just feel so absolutely shit right now so I’m pouring my emotions into this. I was trying to do the members in order with a fic each but my heart hurts so much right now so… here we are. I would recommend just listening to silent cry while reading this but for my little traditions sake, lets shuffle the music and see what song we get. We get… Piece of a puzzle. Damn. Ok then. I guess we can give silent cry a rest cus THIS SONG FITS PERFECTLY WITH THIS FIC TF?!

Summary: You play a risky prank on chan but a little too much comes out…

You came home one day and you had the best horrible idea ever. A friend of yours had a broken laptop and it was very similar to Chans. You were going to take his laptop and pretend to drop it down the stairs.

You were so scared to do it but he had been working non stop at home too. It was a prank anyway so why not right?

He got home and he looked so excited to carry on with his work. You guys had dinner and you asked him to just leave it and work tomorrow. But of course he didn’t. So, your prank would go ahead.

He started to set up his stuff and you went into his home office.

‘Please? Just today? We have time and we can watch a movie. Its been ages,’ you pouted.

‘I’m really sorry, I need to finish this song before the weekend. We can watch a movie when I’m done with it. That won’t be today though baby, I’m sorry.’

It hurt your heart a little that he would say no. He had been doing this for so long and the movie nights never came.

You leaned over and kissed him which made him close his eyes and as you pulled away, you took his laptop. He opened his eyes and concern flooded his face as he saw you take it.

‘What are you doing?’ He looked a little confused.

You went out in the hall, discreetly placed his laptop in a drawer and picked up the broken one. You closed the drawer and then made your way to the stairs. Chan followed you out and he saw you dangling the laptop over the stairs.

‘Y/N. What are you doing?’ He looked agitated. His concern was growing as he got more and more worried.

‘You don’t spend time with me anymore, if I get rid of this, you might.’

‘That won’t do anything, I’m sorry I’ve been so busy but this isn’t how we fix it.’ He edged closer.

You faked a sad look, ‘I can try atleast. It’s more then you have been doing.’

‘I’m sorry, I really am. Please? Let’s just go sit down and talk.’

‘You have been unfair to me, Channie. And I’m tired.’

‘Y/N, I’m sorry. I get caught up… I’ll do better… just don’t drop it.’

You faked dropping it and he jumped.

‘Please? Look, I said I’m sorry and I’m willing to work it out… just give it back… please?’

You turned and looked at the laptop then at him, ‘you know I’d never actually-’

You dropped it and acted like it slipped, you gasped as it fell. You didn’t even get time to turn and look at Chan because he was already running towards the laptop.

He shoved you out of the way and ran down the stairs. You fell back as he sped past. He ran down and picked up the laptop, trying to turn it on but it wouldn’t work.

‘I’m so sorry Chan… I didn’t mean to.. I swear it was-‘

‘Save it. I saw you let go.’

‘I didn’t! It slipped!’

He looked furious as he frantically tried everything to get it to work, not noticing it wasn’t his in the manic state. You felt bad so you started to get up and move to get his laptop.

‘Chan, I have-’

‘GOD! I knew you gave me a wierd feeling for a reason. I always had it in the back of my mind, they’re too immature, too self involved.’

Your heart dropped. He was too invested in the laptop to see you or realise what he was saying.

‘Even if I gave you the benefit of the doubt… I should’ve listened to the boys… if I’m an idiot… atleast they can advise me,’ he was now sat next to the laptop, head in hands.

You stood up properly and got the laptop from the drawer, tears clouding your eyes. You walked down the stairs and crouched next to him.

He stuck his hand out to try and shoo you away but you grabbed it and handed him the laptop.

His perfectly intact, functional, unbroken laptop. He was confused as he looked up to see what you had handed him. He looked at the laptop and his eyes widened.

‘What? Where? How?! What?!’

You looked with a straight face as you picked up the broken one, ‘belonged to my friend,’ you pointed to a sticker on the bottom.

You got up and started making your way up the stairs.

You knew this was a risky prank. It was kind of a cruel joke. But this isn’t what you expected to happen. Your whole world just fell apart.

‘Wait… Where are you going?’ Chan got up and looked up at you.

You looked back at him, ‘well, my self involved, immature brain says I should probably leave. So, that’s what I’m gonna do.’ You continued to make your way up as he came after you.

‘I was so mad! I didn’t mean anything I said!’

‘Oh no, it’s ok. I’ll put you and the other boys out of your misery.’

He ran up infront of you, ‘no, I’m sorry! I was really just angry!’

‘You know what sucks? I could have been saying that I loved you while you were actually thinking, ‘wow, what a mistake this was.’ I expect things like that from everyone else. All that BS. But not you. And even if you were thinking all that, to give me atleast the respect to tell me. That… you guys didn’t even like me… the whole time…’

‘I’m so-’ he tried to salvage something.

‘I’m not done. All I can think about now is the amount of times I left a room when hanging out with you guys. How you guys must’ve laughed about how clingy or annoying or immature I was… I’m sorry for that stupid prank but what you just said… broke everything…’

He looked so broken and so hurt. He looked around trying to find answers but he couldn’t come up with anything.

That was it, everything was now broken. Permanently.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, I wanna just leave you with these I found on tik tok. Cus… yeah :) (the person who made them is tagged in the bottom corner, these images are not mine)

(A little message from me, I hope you’re all ok and if you’re not, I hope things get better for you. Its ok to cry and feel your feelings and I love you so much. Whether you are stay or not. Take care of yourself, please!? LIFE SUCKS BUTT but it sucks a little less because you’re here ;))

I DO NOT CONDONE DOING THIS PRANK TO A REAL PERSON! ITS A HORRIBLE THING TO DO TO SOMEONE YOU LOVE!

Part 2

[loveemii]

ミ★ 𝑳𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑳 ★彡

★☆𝑳 𝒙 𝑭𝒆𝒎☆★

(listen to TV or i love you by Billie Eillish for best experience)

Warning: It’s a little sad

You were in you’re hotel room, the one L had hidden away from the task force members. It was around 3 am when L walked in, he seemed a little sad. He always gave off a semi depressed vibe. And his aura was dark blue most of the time which meant he was feeling some sort of sadness or grief.

He walked in the room and saw you reading with you’re headphones in, you didn’t hear the door open due to you’re music covering that sound of the door creaking. Suddenly the light in the room shuts off and it made you look up and around the room. At the light switch you’re eyes were fixated on the standing figure against the wall. It was L. You’re boyfriend.

You turned off your headphones and put them and the book down on the bed where you were sitting last. As you walked up to him to greet him he just look at you in the eyes. He was admiring them, even though it was a little dark in the room.

He grabbed you’re hand and walked you to the big window that was in the living room. He open the blinds and look at your face, it revealed some moonlight to appear in line on your face. As the hotel room had blinds and not curtains. He sat down and you followed.

“Everything ok L?”

“The moon looks pretty tonight.”

You knew what that meant. He said I love you. That’s what it means. You felt your heart beat faster and you didn’t have control over your emotions, after a minute of slice you gathers yourself and began to speak once more.

“The moon is pretty tonight.”

“Can you hold me Y/n? I want you to hold me on your arms.”

“Mhm, come here.”

You said as you opens your arms for him to slid through. He rested his head on your shoulder and closed his eyes for a while. You looked through the blinds to watch the moon and the stars pass by. L spoke once again.

“Y/n, recently I have been feeling depressed.”

You’re face frowned at first hearing those words.

“Tell me about it.”

“It’s the case, it’s very difficult and I feel stuck in a circle. I can’t seem to get any lead on Light. It’s like he already covers his tracks.”

You brushed your hand through his soft raven hair. He sighed into your shoulder.

“I have noticed for a while you have been feeling a certain way. Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I didn’t feel like I could put that weight on you.”

“It’s alright, I’ve got you.”

A single wet tear dropped on you’re shirt. You look over you’re shoulder and saw him burying his face into you’re arm. He hugged you tightly and you rubbed his back. While giving home reassurance that you have him and that it will all be ok soon enough. You gently grab his chin and lift it up to meet your face. You whipped away his tears and kissed his forehead.

“Y/n? Can we lay down?”

“Sure, come on.”

You said as you slowly got up with him. He curled up into the bedsheets and you hugged him from behind. He started to hum with a tired tone in his voice. It was a little shaky as he was crying earlier. You kissed his arm and adjusted your position. The moonlight was still hitting you both was you payed there. For a couple minutes you payed there listening to him hum.

It’s one thing you noted about him, when he feels stressed, sad, uncertain, or lost he hums. You guessed it was his way of calming down. And being with you seems to make it a lot better. He can cry when he is around you, and he can express himself more than he does with anyone else. You took note of these things because it is very important to you that he is alright. Safe, healthy, happy, and alive. You know this Kira investigation is deadly but important to him, so you never tried to stop him from his passions.

Soon enough you both fell asleep in the same position. His cheeks were stained with his previous tears as you were holding him in your arms.

[miraculous-showtime]

Some songs I want in Project Sekai !!

(flash warning for many of the linked videos!!)

Ki Do Ai Raku by Task - WxS I KNOW this is kind of outside of their usual genre/style of music BUT JUST READ THE LYRICS PLEASE!! i literally am so in love with this song and it just fits wxs so well it makes me feel ill I cannot describe in words how ecstatic I would be if they covered this! (very outlandish pick but i want it all the same)

Kimi no Taion by KutagawaP - Ichika & Saki this could probably be a full leoni cover BUT just LISTEN,,, this song is SO middle school ichisaki to me!!! it's so them! and it's so sad and bittersweet and it makes me emotional and they would sound SO GOOD singing this together. okay? okay.

Pajamy by Iyowa - Airi & Shizuku me and my lyrics relating to character arcs smh... ANYWAY! this song is literally just. Shizuku and Airi being scorned by the idol industry and AAAH IDK! I love iyowa and this song fits them so well and its been SO LONG since they've had a cover together. just read the lyrics please... thinking abt Shizuku's struggle with cheerful*days in the main story.... Airi wanting to help her through that... Airi being burned from how she was treated before she first quit being an idol...

Nee Nee Nee. by PinocchioP - Ena & Mizuki this song is literally about two online friends who are in love with each other but can't communicate properly. SORRY DID SOMEONE SAY MIZUENA???? I've seen people say they want this song with other ships but this is SUCH a mizuena song to me.... like idk dude it's just so them. I need them to cover this so bad.

Ironina by NILFRUITS - VBS this song could probably also work for 25ji but just hear me out the vibes would be so cool for a VBS song right? ALSO Akito alt and maybe An alt! :) the lyrics made me think of Akito so much he just HAS to have an alt.

Light Blue Invasion by Nayutalien - L/n this song is just so fun sounding and the lyrics are so leoni... everything about this song makes me think of them. I also think leoni just deserves more songs that are super fun and upbeat!!

shake it! by emon(Tes.) - MMJ this song is just so fun and sweet... I think it could be a really fun mmj cover! also the parts where the crowd is cheering? imagine a 3d mv where they're interacting with the crowd. idk I just think this would be super cute!!

Tiny Bunny by youman - 25ji literally the lyrics fit them so well, I can imagine exactly who would sing which lines. I also just love youman and this song. this song is so good and i think that 25ji would do an amazing job covering it! :)

Literacy by Wotaku - VBS tbh i don't really care who in vbs covers this I just want it... I think they would sound really really good. maybe anhane and akitoya alt vocals? i don't know but I really like this song and also it would be cool to have more wotaku songs in game!

UFO by Kikuo - Emu & Rui I don't know how likely a kikuo wxs cover is but. this song is so dreamy and the lyrics dude!!!! literally a song about lonely "aliens" looking for companions. this is SO emurui coded. this is one of my dream covers for them tbh. also ik i haven't been mentioning vocaloids BUT the vibe fits wxs luka so well to me i want her on this song with them. please just imagine this cover it'll change your life I promise.

Electric Angel by Yasuo - Minori & Haruka WOULDN'T THIS COVER BE SO CUTE??? like the song sounds super cute and i would love to hear them sing this... if anyone other than mmj covers this song I'll feel betrayed. ALSO THE LYRICS. SO minoharu coded! this might possibly be a bit of a pull from nowhere but I want it anyway

Amatsu Kitsune by Marasy - L/n I think this would be a really cool cover for them to do. I love this song, I think Saki specifically has a chance to really shine in this cover. IDK! I just like this song and the vibes fit leoni... also references to space and celestial stuff :)

Let's Die Together in Kurashiki by SLAVE.V-V-R - WxS although the lyrics do not fit them AT ALL the whole vibe of the song is SO cool. I would love to hear wansho do a cover like this! I especially think Rui and Nene could sound really cool in this, maybe they could get an alt vocal :) IDK this would just be a neat cover to hear

Baimei Baimei by Maiki-P - Mafuyu & Ena I have some newfound hope for this cover because of Maiki-P recently doing a comm for wxs! I just think the lyrics fit mafuena really well and also they could sound SO COOL singing this. it's just a really good song that I like a lot and I think a mafuena cover for this could sound amazing!

Rafflesia by Utsu-P - VBS okay this pick seems kinda random but please stick with me here I have a vision. THEY WOULD SOUND SO COOL SINGING THIS. literally i cannot imagine a world where vbs would do bad with this song. especially An, if we do ever get this song I totally want an alt vocal for her. ALSO the lack of Utsu-P in game is a CRIME.

Lula by n-buna - 25ji (i could not find an official upload (or reprint) for this song help) this song feels very bittersweet to me and I don't know I just think it would be a sweet nightcord cover. this song is really wonderful sounding and I would love for them to cover something like this. they've done similar songs before so it's not impossible

Scissorhands by Nem - Tsukasa & Rui guys guys please this song is so them like you don't get it I need this cover. "This hand of mine cannot even caress your cheek. If that's the case, just how can I protect your smile?" LIKE ARE YOU SERIOUS??? not to mention they would sound AMAZING with a song like this. this has potential to become my favorite ruikasa cover over fixer it could be so good... this might be a bit too overtly romantic for ruikasa but idk.... I can hope and dream.

Magical Girl and Chocolate by PinocchioP - MMJ I tried not to pick too many super popular songs (like ones i see on wish lists a lot) but i want this cover so bad. this song fits mmj so well and I love pino and mmj so it would be a dream come true for me tbh. I think they would sound really cute singing this, okay?? Haruka and Airi could have alt vocals for this :)

CH4NGE by Giga - Kohane & An really just another song I picked because I think it sounds cool and An and Kohane could totally do this justice. they could do such an amazing cover of this song honestly I've been wanting it for a while I think it would sound super good!! also songs like these are peak vbs vibes to me.

Tenkou Zen'ya by ChinmariP - Ichika & Honami really this is a very Honami coded song to me. Ichika is just here because solo covers barely exist and leoni doesn't have any songs without Ichika (I would've put Shiho otherwise). but also the vibe of this song very much fits with how other ichihona covers sound and I think it sounds really nice.. it's bittersweet and reminds me of main story/middle school Honami, i think it would be a neat cover.

[elizabethxolsenn]

Jigsaw

Natasha x Reader

Warnings; Mentioned smut, sad Nat, Scars, brief sh, Red room.

Summery; Natasha Asks you to stop before you get anywhere.

Vv short and sweet :)

Sitting on top of your girlfriend, what a dream. Her hands were in your hair, scrunching it, trying to be careful, your hands moved around her jeans, looking for the button, finding it, you carefully and slowly move it through as means not to hurt Natasha.

You pulled away from the assassin and kissed her collar bone. Giggling into her, “No! Stop!” Natasha breathed, you’re glad you could hear her, you furrowed your eyebrows and pulled away. She attempted to steady her breathes, wanting to help, you reached to her your hand on her chest, something you’d read online.

“Please! Don’t touch me.” You pulled away and nodded. Losing all physical contact with Natasha. She sat there, you could here her breathing, almost like a panting dog, she couldn’t breathe, it was evident. Her pupils shrunk and you reached to her, pulling away, remembering her previous statement.

“Baby..do you need your inhaler?” She shook her head, that no, she didn’t. She held a hand up for you to wait. She could do this, you quietly praised her. “It’s okay, Tash. You’re doing so well.” Her breathing slowed, she looked up at you. Her eyes were glistening with tears, her cheeks and nose were red. “I’m sorry..I just..the r-”

“The bad place.”

Natasha nodded when you cut her off. That’s what you had called it. You knew Natasha never wanted to go back to a deep place in her emotions. She looked up and you and wiped a falling tear, “Can I touch you, Natty?” Your hands remained on your bed until the answer arrived, she slightly nodded, still looking at the bed. “Verbal, please.”

Verbal consent was always what you wanted, a nod was never enough.

“Yeah..you can touch me.”

You immediately grabbed her face, smiling to her. You pulled her onto your lap and laid back as she straddled you, she looked down on you, hesitant to put her entire weight on you. You softly buttoned her jeans back up, an kissed her tummy. Grabbing her hips you pulled her down onto you. She squealed lightly. Your hands were loosely in the bottom of her shirt. You ran your fingers over a scar above her hip.

“I don’t know what happened..I- we’ve done it before I just..” You sat up oh your elbows and pecked her lips lightly to reassure her it was okay. That you’d never judge her. She’s been through hard times and everything haunts her at one point, you leaned over and reached to switch the knob on your record player to play. You let Natashas favorite Taylor swift album play. Your hands ran up and down her thighs gently, you could hear her soft singing, as always she sounded angelic.

You hum along to the music, Natasha smiles, she knows she had no need to apologize. You always made Natasha feel safe. There was no place she’d rather be than with you and listening to ‘The very first night.’ Nothing compared to this. Nothing compared to you. You were forever a safe space. Someone she could talk to about anything.

You run your hands over her arms. Lights scars trickled along them. You bite your lip lightly and look up to her. Natasha, very unaware of what’s happening around her, looks to you and smiles, she’s finally happy, happy with her life, happy with herself. She frequently reminds you of how you got her there. How you held her each night as she cried and how you healed her each time a new wound arrived, the way you reminded her that none of it was her fault. For that she loved you. You overlooked her flaws and found a way for her to live with them.

“Y/n, baby, I love you” She adjusted herself and laid on your body, her arms around you protectively, you mirrored her and held her in your warm arms. She sighed and kissed your neck gently.

“Thank you.”

[venusmoon]

thank you sweetheart @takethemonet-andletsgogh for tagging me! love u! 💘💘💘

free music recs! even though most of these a relly popular songs that you probably already know but <3 whatever <3

spell your username with songs!

(+ a little comment cuz i'm trying to improve my english and my "reviewing" skills...)

V is venus as a boy by björk. it's a sensual and chill song, just listen to it and vibe to the bollywood influence (the tablas' sound!!! 🥁)

E is exit music (for a film) by radiohead. this song is haunting. the reverberation!!! the crescendo of the emotions... when the chorus starts... the drums kick in... makes my eyes water.

N is no distance left to run by blur. one of my go-to sad songs– a very passionate, stinging break up tune.

U is ugly by fishbone. i have been listening to fishbone a lot lately and i think they're sooo underrated! i'm so jealous of all the people that have seen then live, must've been a great experience.

S is song for sharon by joni mitchell. almost 9 minutes of joni telling a story. what else could a girl want?? and it's about yearning for love??? the story + the music (and her voice ofc) + the background vocals... everything's magical. and i love the subtle groovy vibe of the bass.

M is MOON by DOMi & DJ BECK ft. herbie hancock. i obviously had to include a song with the word "moon" in it and went with this amazing jazz-electronica tune <3 also herbie hancock oh my god??? this whole record is amazing btw, very refreshing.

O is only acting by kero kero bonito. cool song that starts with a fun indie electropop sound but develops into something more interesting by adding some experimental noise/glitches/alternative rock vibes.

O is otherside by perfume genius. you cannot go wrong with him because he has never made a bad album. this track has emotionally destroyed me (in a good way!) when i first heard it as a 15-year-old.

N is nobody's fault but mine by nina simone. i had to include a nina's song and this is the first one that starts with the letter "n" that came to my mind. her voice + the piano is just magic. the led zeppelin's version is also good (totally different vibe though).

thanks for reading <3 let me know how you feel abt these songs!

tagging @mumintroll @bittersweetish @catharticlove @iidsch @shehzadi @heavenlyyshecomes @fallenangels95 @killerboyratzmp3 and anyone else who wanna do this!

no pressure ofc, but if you have any music recs you are obligated to send them to me!!!!!

[mistydeyes]

Hello! I don't know whether matchups are open and if not you can delete this request. But...

Can you please give me a MW2 matchup? 🙂

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: straight

MBTI: ENTJ-A

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

Appearance: 5'7', Slim thick, dark brown eyes (looks black tbh), Curly black medium length hair, fair skinned, wears glasses (cuz I can't see shit without them)

About Me: I'm Indian and I come from a conservative family, and so my upbringing was a bit weird and made me into a weird mess. I would consider myself an introvert. But definitely not someone who sits in a corner of a room and stares. I do enjoy having conversations with people, but my social battery is low and so I get tired pretty quickly. But if I'm speaking to someone who I am really interested in, like my longtime best friend, I would talk for HOURS!!!. When it comes to friendships, I'm a very selective person. I'm not someone who gets close with people as it's very hard for me to open up, as I'm quite reserved. I also don't get along with a lot of people so 🤷🏻. Also, people have pointed out that I look unapproachable and Intimidating as I have a resting bitch face. I maybe having the best time of my life but my face does not show it, at all 💀. Or sometimes, I get really stoic and people can't tell whether I'm sad, happy, or angry lol.

I'm a level headed person, but sometimes people get on my nerves and I'm the type to bottle all of those emotions. Then when a minor inconvenience happens, BOOM! I will literally turn into a demon and my whole day just got ruined.

I'm someone who really cares about my loved ones. I will protect them from anything and I will help them out in any way I can. I'm a good listener and love to empathise with people who are hurt or would let people rant so they can feel better. I'm the therapist and the mom friend of my friends group so.... Yeah, I care about the ones I love wayyy too much. My love language is acts of service, words of affirmation and gift giving. Also, as much as I love giving love and care to others, I hate receiving it as I have mentioned before, have a hard time opening up. It takes a lot of trust and a lot of time for me to do so. So basically I give therapy to others meanwhile my mental health is blown to shit.

When it comes to work, I'm very organised and hard working. I don't like procrastination as it drives me nuts (Even though I still do it sometimes, idk why). I'm logical, focused and very passionate on the things I love. My favourite subjects are Math and Physics as I do fairly well in them. I'm not the best but I work hard and it pays off. That's why I'm opting for Aerospace Engineering in college. I take my work very seriously and definately not the type to fuck around.

Outdoors, I come off very cold and serious, but indoors I am very goofy, silly, pretty stubborn and bossy (sometimes stupid). I love doing small pranks and doing weird things that crosses my mind. I'm very loud and laugh at the stupidest things that I see or hear. Also love to play around with my pet cats. I'm a huge geek/nerd and love to talk about my hyper-fixations. Also, I'm a huge animal person and I love to feed strays and sometimes, I take them home with me. 😄

I'm very loyal but I can cut ties with people who have done me wrong. 100% has no problem in confronting people. I also suffer from ADHD, PTSD and mild depression. I also have stims where I bite the inside of my cheek or fidget my fingers or shake my legs.

Likes/Interests/hobbies: video games, reading books, writing, drawing, cooking, baking, watching murder documentaries, taking care of animals, horror, sci fi and action movies, tea, spicy food, rain, gardening, math, science, literature, history, travelling, listening to music.

My type in a partner:

Should be very passionate

Hard working, wise, mature and adventurous

Someone whom I can banter with and make me feel secure

Can be extroverted, introverted or ambiverted.

Can be on the playful side.

Alejandro Vargas (a/n @queenof-spades WE LOVE WOMEN IN STEM!! also girl I relate so hard to the conservative parents who push you to be the best :') good luck with all your studies!)

How you met: A trip to an aerospace engineering company was not on Alejandro's bucket list for the year. Especially after the last contracted company they dealt with (he's still getting his base in order after the fiasco of Graves and the Shadows). However, another joint mission with the 141 required a preview of some new satellites and other multimillion dollar technologies. After going through rigorous amounts of security, him and Rudy finally met up with the 141. "Nice to see you again, hermanos," he said as he shook hands with his British counterparts. They were making small conversation when you walked in. Your shoes echoed in the facility and a long lab coat hung around your shoulders. "Gentleman, welcome to Boeing. I'm the lead scientist here and you can follow me on a tour of the facilities," you said confidently and quickly turned to lead them through the expansive company. As you introduced them to the team of engineers and showed them the technologies of your newest satellites, they stood in awe. "This satellite is equipped with the best monitoring technologies and can withstand the temperatures of exiting and entering the atmosphere," you described as you jokingly pounded on the hard metal shell of the satellite. "She does not fuck around," you heard Alejandro whisper and the group laughed in response. "That's right Colonel Vargas, there's a reason I'm working here at Boeing and worked my ass off for a doctorate," you smirked at him. As you continued on, the blush was evident on his face as he felt like he was struck by cupid's arrow.

A peek into your relationship: It was no denying your relationship with Alejandro was difficult. Between his position as Colonel and yours as the head scientist at Boeing, you both wracked up thousands of miles on business flights. However you made it work and were now comfortably settled in a comfortable south western mansion that offered you excellent wifi for meetings. You signed off from a consulting meeting with a new company that wanted to contract your planes and sighed as you shut your laptop. The last few days you were on edge and your husband took notice as you declined his offer for wine and gently pushed your food around. "Mi corazon, what's going on?" he asked as he got up from the table and kissed your head gently. "Just work things," you sighed as you melted into his touch. "You love work through, there's something else going on," he said and carried you to the couch, "you even turned down a glass of our favorite wine." As he studied your face intently, you asked him a surprising question. "Ale, do you love me?" you asked. It took him 0.2 seconds to respond. "Are you joking? Of course I love you, you are my moon and stars. You are like if the heavens sent me a goddess to walk on earth. You are Persephone, Aphrodite, and Athena all rolled into one," he exclaimed as he peppered you with kisses. You smiled slightly and nervously held his hands. "I, um didn't know how to say this but I'm pregnant," you said quickly and looked at his face for any sign of anger or disappointment. You had kept this from him so long as you didn't want it to affect his opinion on your work and traveling so often. You weren't about to be confined to a house wife position after all this time. Instead of a negative reaction, he scooped you up in his arms and spun you around. He held you stomach as he kissed it gently and whispered, "my own child, you're going to have the best parents." As he pulled you in a tight hug and kissed you softly, he was already designing plans for their nursery and how to encompass everything you both loved into it. (Just know that this child will be absolutely spoiled by you too, especially if Ale became a girl dad HAHA)

[alectothinker]

{{ Music asks! 1, 7, 8, 22?

thank u this was very fun to type up, especially q 8!! love infodumping about music <33

send me some music asks! answer under the cut bc it got long lol

1. what is your favorite song. right now. tell me.

Unfortunately fallen alien by fka twigs. Banger song but its only stuck in my head cause im feeling Bad. But we cope i guess!

7. what bands/artists have you seen in concert?

P!atd (in 2018 when i was still a fan lol) and james blake in 2019 (loved it So much...stood right in front of his piano and also the huge speakers and the bass almost blasted my head off)

8. tell me about your favorite band. go on infodump for me.

Hahahha ofc this is gonna be sleep token propaganda BUCKLE UP!!!

SLEEP TOKEN -- masked, anonymous, angry-sad-horny-whipped 4-guy metalcore bri-ish band made up of:

> vessel (lead singer, has probably read my immortal or at least knows it exists, white boy dances on stage in between godly devastating vocals and actual sobbing, literally who hurt him i just wanna talk)

> ii (as in "two", drummer, mostly chilling at the back of the stage w his kit 10/10ing every song on the setlist)

> iii ("three", bass player, tall, leggy, hyperactive stickbug, loves gesturing on stage, aggro about getting the crowd to clap on beat, often busy giving iv a lil kiss)

> iv (guitarist, my fav, i am so drawn in by his beautiful silent guitarist rizz and insane metal scream. See live recordings of "vore". Often busy giving iii a lil kiss)

They dont talk on or off stage (though iii and iv have shouted at concerts a couple times lol) and only their drummer has (recently) done a spoken interview. Huge range both emotion and genre wise! as in "atlantic" is what i listen to when i want to cry vs "gods" is what i listen to when i rage workout. The members kiss each other on stage. Also they recently changed their masks to be more individualised so they might be inching towards less anonymity and i honestly dont know how to feel about that!!! Also there is so much lore. They worship a god called "sleep" and have a lil cypher alphabet going n its all very cryptic and fun to me lol. Love going down reddit rabbit holes about this band, would love to see them live someday

22. i just saw the prettiest motorcycle on the way to school tell me one song you’d blast on a motorcycle while driving one

OH THIS ASK SPECIFICALLY........hey howd you know i like motogp and bikes and think about this often even though ive never been on a bike before.....anyway it would be

- Honda by fka twigs if im cruising on a nice summer evening having a chill vibey time

- Feiticeira by deftones during the day

- 2077 by do not ressurrect if im going full send on a night ride in the city :)

thank u for asking!!! had a lot of fun w these questions <3

[stars-tonight]

hi! i'd like to request a long romantic ship if that's not too much trouble! and if it's avaliable i'd like to be 🦇 anon for the emojis? i'm a girl and i go by she/her pronouns. i'd like to be paired with one of the guys please :)

my ideal partner would be someone i can be myself with, someone sweet, who i could joke around with, someone who will try and get into things i like just so we could have fun together and of course i'd do the same for them.

now about myself, i'm pretty shy at first and i take a while to open up but when i do i talk A LOT, i'm a bit sensitive and i cry easily, i like peace and quiet, i can't lie to save my life, i'm the type that likes to take care of those i care about, i guess i can be a bit of a pessimist most of the time but i try to overcome it the best i can.

my hobbies are drawing, watching movies and tv shows, reading and i'm a huge dc comics nerd, like i'm obsessed….

my love languages are quality time and acts of service for giving, for receiving i prefer quality time over all the others.

for some extra info about me: i'm a pisces and INFP, my favorite color is blue, i like collecting things related to my interests, i love cold weather, i like black clothes, i love sweets, i listen to music all the time like even to sleep, i get scared easily.

this is all i can think about right now, thank you so much!!!! (also i'm sorry if there's any typos here, i do make them very often 😭)

headcanons

🥛 so bokuto is the definition of a giant puppy

🥛 would NOT judge you

🥛 would just love you instead

🥛 would definitely have a really long "secret" handshake with you

🥛 i say "secret" because he probably got too excited about it and blabbed to akaashi

🥛 will show you off to akaashi (it doesn't annoy him)

🥛 will show you off to kuroo (successfully annoys him)

🥛 bokuto would be very sensitive to your emotions

🥛 the second he realizes he's said something wrong he'll be all sad and droopy

🥛 definitely gets clingy when he realizes he's made you upset

🥛 while on this topic, bokuto's giving love language is definitely physical touch

🥛 so just be prepared because he's gonna be holding your arm or hugging you whenever possible

🥛 big on pda and is so dramatic about it

🥛 will pick you up and swing you around when he hugs you

🥛 definitely gives you a big wave when he sees you at his games

🥛 hopefully you're not embarrassed lol

🥛 also is big on spending time with you though

🥛 and will definitely do whatever you ask

🥛 like if you need something from the store he's running all the way there and back to get it for you

🥛 is the type to buy too much stuff

🥛 "i know you said you wanted A cookie, but i got you twenty-four!"

🥛 unfortunately bokuto has probably never cracked open a book outside of school before

🥛 if you're reading he'll try to read over your shoulder for a few minutes

🥛 within ten minutes he will just be bouncing around you and wanting attention

🥛 but would do pretty much anything else with you

🥛 anything you like, he'll give it a try

🥛 he probably won't be good at a lot of stuff

🥛 but he's the definition of "confused but got the spirit" even when he isn't trying to be

🥛 let's be honest bokuto isn't very good at "peace and quiet"

🥛 in fact he's absolutely awful at "peace and quiet"

🥛 but there will be moments when he'll be so entranced by you he's just staring at you in silence for several minutes

🥛 head propped up on chin, big dopey smile on his face

🥛 probably the only time he'll be "peace and quiet" around you

🥛 bokuto is like the definition of "confused but got the spirit"

🥛 loves to feel like your protector and will bravely stand in front of you in the face of any danger

🥛 although he'll probably scream at the sight of a bug

🥛 since bokuto is (in)famous for his emo moods, you might need some help in the beginning of the relationship

🥛 akaashi is there for that!

runner up for you was yaku morisuke!

A/N: there you go 🦇anon, i hope you liked it! bokuto is literally a real life puppy, but pocket-sized bokuto would be the cutest EVER

[keepingitformyself]

there was nowhere for me to stay(but i stayed anyway)

A/N: I FINALLY POSTED YAYAYA!!! this has been in the drafts for a LONG time, happy to say its finally made it out. did i kinda rush the ending ??? maybe. it was 3am and i was tired :(. this whole thing mainly revolves around natasha’s trauma and her journey to acceptance and finally, letting herself go. i hope you all enjoy :,) sorry for any mistakes.

synopsis: natasha can’t help it when she feels the way she does, but you’re always there and maybe that’s enough.

pairings: natasha romanoff x reader

genre: fluffy angst.

warnings: sad natasha :(

please do not repost my work anywhere for any reason at all. if you do see this happen to any of my stories, please let me know. thank you x.

—————

natasha always felt like an ocean wave to you. the way she came and went always made you get a feel for how much you really have yet to figure out about the redhead.

you’d known her long enough to know that there are many parts of natasha you had yet to see.

your first big step towards your relationship with her was when you had woken up in the middle of the night to faint crying and shouting coming from across the hall— where you knew her room was.

you shared a floor with natasha, no one else was around to have been able to hear what was happening.

it had been just the both of you ever since wanda had decided she would move in with vision into his floor of the building.

never having experienced this side of natasha before, you were slightly conflicted on what to do in this situation.

natasha and you were friends. you knew that much. you would share jokes with one another, talk about random things like books you’ve read or music you’ve listened to and sometimes you would even have a movie night in your guys’ shared lounge area.

there had even been a handful of times where you had both woken up snuggling with one another after those said movie nights.

you were thankful enough to consider natasha a friend, even though hanging with and sharing an entire floor with her never made it easy when it came to your growing crush on the redhead.

but you also knew that natasha wasn’t the most open person when it came to her emotions or her past. something that was tricky at times when it came to your friendship.

on your first day as an avenger, you were only very briefly informed on where she came from and what she did, but none of it was enough to really understand the way she is now.

all you knew was that she was trained to be a lethal killer by a russian organization; one which had made her endure some really disturbing things. and then when first offered a chance at deflection, she took it.

yes, you would talk, but it never went beyond anything remotely triggering or uncomfortable.

you both were very aware of the invisible line that she had layed out for you both to never cross.

and you had done a great job at not crossing it so far.

so a part of you was telling you to just go back to bed and let natasha handle this on her own. but the other moral part of you was telling you to go check on her and make sure she was fine before something really bad could happen.

you decided to wait fifteen minutes for natasha to show any sign of calming down, and when she didn’t, you took matters into your own hands.

you climbed out of bed and out of your bedroom and made your way across the lounge area to her suite.

you knocked softly against her door and waited for a response. you could hear her small cries stop for a moment then the faint sniffling of her nose and the shuffling of her feet.

you stood there for a few seconds, not really knowing what to expect. you almost convinced yourself that this was a bad idea and to just turn back around and head back to bed.

but before you could make any move to do that, the door opened, revealing a jagged looking natasha.

you almost gasped at the sight of her but stopped yourself before you could do anything to offend her.

you never thought you’d ever see thee natasha romanoff look so shaken up. but here she was before you, on one of her darkest nights.

‘i- uhh…i heard some…stuff. i just wanted to make sure you were okay.’ you spoke softly to the figure in front of you.

natasha stood against her doorway. her figure wrapped up in one of her hoodies, her cheeks very visibly stained with tears. she looked so small.

‘well i’m fine. so, thanks.’ natasha mumbled making a move to close her door shut.

but you didn’t get up at four in the morning for nothing, and you knew she wasn’t fine even if she said she was.

‘no you’re not.’ you spoke before she could fully close her door. she stopped and gave you a look. almost as if she were challenging you. she was.

but you knew natasha wouldn’t do anything. not if she knew you were just trying to look out for her. you took her pause in movements as a sign to continue.

‘look, you clearly aren’t fine, and it’s okay to not be fine.’ you paused. ‘but you should know that you don’t need to suffer alone.’ you told her sincerely.

natasha was slightly taken aback at your words. she had contemplated letting you in before but she didn’t know whether or not she was ready to let you be part of that side of her world yet.

she was scared. scared that after she dumped all her trauma onto you, all of her secrets…you’d never look at her the same again.

she liked how you acted around her. she didn’t have it in herself to mess that up.

you on the other hand, knew natasha was fully capable of taking care of herself. you didn’t want to show pity towards her. this isn’t about feeling bad for her.

you wanted to help her because you cared. you needed her to know that you cared. you needed her to know that even if she felt like sometimes everyone was against her, she could come to you and find solace.

you would always be here. even if you knew she had no room for someone else’s baggage to worry about.

you took her silence as your cue to leave.

‘look, you don’t have to say or do anything…i just wanted to let you know. we can forget i saw you like this if you want.’ you turned back towards where you came from but was stopped in your tracks by natasha’s voice calling for you.

you turned back towards the redhead who extended her arm out to open her door wider.

she was letting you in.

and then for the remainder of the night you both laid in her bed. she told you about her nightmares. her killings. the things they had made her do and the things that made up her least favorite parts about her.

she told you that her only fear was a memory from her haunted past. and that, that was usually what her nightmares consisted of.

you stayed quiet. natasha was thankful for that. sometimes that’s all someone ever needs.

she turned towards you, her silent way of telling you, you were free to speak

natasha waited until you said something, afraid that whatever left your mouth would make her regret telling you everything, afraid that she was about to lose someone she cared very deeply for.

and then after a few moments of silence you finally turned to her, a small nod and a smile splayed your face.

your silent way of telling her; nothing had changed and that she would be okay.

and that became enough for natasha in the moment.

thus started the blooming of a lifelong affair.

her confession only making your guys’ relationship even more secure than before. your confidence for natasha grew. the act of her trusting you with such a fragile piece of her world had given you the impression of a mutual bond.

now, the both of you had something to give to each other, whether it was a simple touch of reassurance or the exchange of your hidden skeletons.

natasha started to seek you out more than ever. clint had even grumbled about how he had been replaced one morning. to which natasha replied with a simple roll of the eyes and ‘it’s a ladies thing. you wouldn’t understand, birdman.’

clint only snickered into his coffee mug, he was at least happy his best friend had found someone else to open up to.

natasha started to get better. it was a tricky process, you would say. she definitely still had her moments. but it helped a lot to know that you were only a few meters away from her room.

this new trust had also brought out a new a side of natasha that you’d never seen. a more flirty, clingy type. it wasn’t that you were complaining, like at all.

it just made you a bit confused over the whole ordeal, because there were times when she’d kiss your cheek just for the sake of doing it and even reach for any way to touch you whether it was to play with your hand under the table during a meeting or when she’d rest her hand on your thigh when you were sat close to each other.

you brought it up to clint once during a sparring session, to which he replied with, ‘don’t know. she’s never been that way with me.’ clint seemed interested in the situation once he figured it wasn’t a normality, though he might’ve had his own ideas of why natasha suddenly acted so dotingly.

he stared at your confused state and let out a low chuckle. ‘kids these days, can’t they just say how they feel?’ he mumbled as he walked to the showers. and that only left you more confused.

you figured her affection was just her way of being reassured that you were still near and safe, she’d told you once about how she finds a lot of security in knowing the people she cared for were okay.

but what really made you question the whole situation was when natasha suggested sharing a bed with you after one of your guys’ movie nights. unable to come up with a response at the moment you had shifted on your feet awkwardly.

‘you don’t have to if you don’t want to.’ natasha had sensed your shyness. ‘it just helps to have someone next to me.’ she played with her fingers before continuing. ‘and i’ve noticed that i feel better with you around.’

so with a reassuring smile you agreed and climbed into bed with her. then that created a new routine for you both. you had now practically lived in her room part time.

still, you didn’t fight it. you got to go to bed with a girl you liked and in return she gave you cuddles and companionship. it was a win-win.

but then the worst came.

it had been a particularly difficult mission. one that left the entire team defeated and disappointed. you knew natasha had taken the hardest fall of all. she didn’t mutter a word the whole ride back and her head hung low the entire time.

it hurt you even more when she didn’t even mutter a goodnight to you in passing before she made her way to her room. you didn’t let it sting you. you all lost a little bit of yourselves today. the whole team was effected. you wanted to give her the space that you knew she needed.

you got showered and changed and you hoped to whatever god was listening to you that natasha was doing good on her own before heading to bed.

it didn’t take much for you to fall asleep.

then you awoke once again to the same crying and shouting you had heard all those months ago coming from natasha’s room. you frantically made your way to her, afraid at what could happen if you didn’t show up at her door in the next second.

you didn’t even bother to knock. natasha had allowed for friday to give you access to her room long ago.

once you’d gotten through the other side of the door you were met with the sight of the redhead huddled up on the very corner of her bed. knees up to her chest as she tried to control her breathing.

within a second you were kneeling besides her and grasping her face into your hands. ‘hey, tasha, it’s me.’ you lightly tapped at her cheek to get her to focus on you. ‘you’re fine. none of what you just saw is real.’ she nodded to show you she was aware of you being there though you could tell she was still in a daze.

you brought her into your embrace. slowly, you wrapped your arms around her afraid that she’d break if you made a wrong move.

she chanted how sorry she was. ‘sorry. i’m sorry. i’m so sorry’. you told her she shouldn’t be apologizing for anything, that her feelings were valid even if they stemmed from a dark place.

you let her cry into your shoulder, in these moments there wasn’t much you could do, you held her and reminded her you were there. that she doesn’t have to be alone anymore.

when she felt ready she started talking. she recounted the events of the last 12 hours. the screams, the people, the bodies left. the horror in everything that had happened.

‘we tried our best.’ you reassured. she let out a pained sigh and closed her eyes. ‘it doesn’t feel like it.’ you smiled sadly at her, she was right. it never felt like a win when people had to die.

‘we can’t save everyone.’ you say. and she nodded because she knew it was true. but she wished with every bone within her that she could. she wished things were different. she wished that she could’ve done things differently. but it was something she’d have to learn to accept.

and then it became silent for a few moments. you existed in your own worlds for a while. your hand had crept its way into hers and held it there, rubbing over her calloused hand with your thumb.

a smile had made its way onto natasha’s face at your action, until it hit her. ‘why do you still stick around?’ she asked. it truly amazed her how someone like you still hadn’t grown tired over someone like herself.

the question had surprised you. because why wouldn’t you stick around? you’ve acknowledged how heavy weighted natasha is, but it never once made you want to step back from her. finally you say, ‘i’m here because i want to be here.’

and she sees it with the small twinkle in your eyes and the way your lips quirk up. you had never once asked for something of her, you had only wanted to be with her because that’s what happens when you care for someone like that.

when you care for someone you want to be with them, and love them and make sure they’re alright at all costs. it’s a natural instinct and you do it all without ever expecting anything in return. that’s how it always works, love was unconditional like that.

natasha understands that now. she decides at that moment she doesn’t want to hold back anymore. she couldn’t let the weight of her past keep her from giving you what she wants. she had to start letting go.

natasha’s eyes hold your gaze and her lips part slightly, you know what she’s thinking. you smile and give her hand a squeeze.

she wasn’t alone anymore.

[rikilouvre]

paraluman

summary : a first-person pov / ldr au wherein after half a year of not being able to be with him, he finally made ends meet. and at the most unexpected but the most perfect time, too.

word count : 2.6k

story mood : sad/comforting

theme song : adie – paraluman

notes/warnings : r-16, this story is made for specific people dealing with insecurities and giving them assurance and appreciation <3, mentions of suicide, profanities, sensitive plot for some audience, negativity, better to look at the bigger picture, not proofread (mentioned : park sunghoon of enhypen!)

a/n : paraluman (pa-ra-lú-man) is a tagalog word meaning a “goddess,” in the sense of being a very beautiful woman.

would appreciate it a lot if you would reblog this post.

i have no idea what to do next, i was curled up in my bed and crying on my pillow. everything breaks me. from couples i walk by and their sweet bond to looking at the mirror. the mirror. i hate looking at it, i hate looking at myself, literally hate everything about my appearance and personality. why am i thinking about these things? i keep asking myself but it seems like i can't find the answer, and i will never find the answer. i miss jake. i miss our bonds, i miss the times he would cheer me up and we would buy ice cream together, i miss the times he would open up to me and i would hug him tightly for comfort, why did everything have to change?

oh god, i'm having a mental breakdown again. i, i can't take it. i just can't. i opened my phone and messaged jake, hopefully he isn't doing anything that'd be interrupted 'cause of me. but before i could even open the messaging app, my phone dinged "hey darling :)" appeared.

he left me on read? no, i refuse to believe this. this is ridiculous. this is pissing me off even more. when i need him the most, he just leaves me on read like "boom"? fuck him. fuck, now everyone's against me. am i that much of a pain in the ass? that even my boyfriend got fed up of my problems?

it feels like the end of the world, i feel like i have no one likes me, i feel like i'm an outcast. i wanna sleep, i can't. i wanna be happy, i can't. all i have with me is my tunes, only music is making me feel less miserable. the more i listen to the song, the deeper the meaning of the lyrics hits me – the more tears fall down my face. well, atleast my apartment is pretty. the moonlight shines from my window, i'm not sure if i should feel even sadder or happy 'cause the sight of my room is such a pleasant thing to look at. the memories behind all of the apartment – the cooking memories with jake when he full-on burned the cupcakes we made, the cleaning memories with him when he offered to help me clean the apartment even though he's least likely the type to know how to clean haha, and especially the cuddle moments with him when the room i'm looking at right now looks very much like the times we cuddle in my bed while we listen to love songs with one earbud for us each.

these memories helped me, a LOT. they helped me control my emotions and whole being correctly, they gave me hope in life when i was literal inches to a hanging noose on the ceiling. not to mention this distracted me for a full hour that i was really ready to sleep. jake, if you're out there,–

"_____!!!" someone shouted my name outside and he sounded like his lungs was about to fall off his mouth, which almost made me gasp a laugh. but mostly, made me confused. who in the hell would shout my name in the middle of the night? it made me scared too. shoot. i might be held hostage, WHO COULD IT BE????????? i'm overthinking.

but who was it? i asked myself before finally slowly creep up my window and peek my head, resting it on the window frame. "_____!" jake shouted my name again, tired that his hands are on his knees – like he just ran – but when i saw him, he was smiling like he finally achieved something on the way here. adrenaline rushed through me. a fire inside me slowly starts to burn, growing into a big bundle of energy of confusion, shock, and happiness. not even realizing, i was crying again.

"j–jake!" sobbing and eating my words up as i repeatedly shouted his words back – i was laughing, crying, hurting inside but at the same time i felt so light and full of hope. the smile plastered on his face slowly faded after i responded to his call and he immediately ran inside the apartment. he ran upstairs, i could hear his footsteps stomping throughout the 3rd floor.

i rushed to wipe my tears on the sleeves of my sweater, not minding even a second that my eyes and nose are so swell and i looked so hideous. "_____, open the door. please. let's talk." he said in between panted breaths and i jumped out of my bed, ran to open the door and finally be reunited with my home, face to face. there we are. he looked like he was scanning my face and whole body – grabbing my wrists and taking a look if i have done anything harmful to myself. when he finally understood that i was just crying all night, he lets himself in, rushed to shut the door and hugged me so so tightly i couldn't breathe.

it's as if i've forgotten everything i was crying about, it's as if all my problems were solved with just one big hug. a one big hug i've ever needed since he left. everything made me feel relief and the homesickness left my whole body. i'm home. i was too scared to even make a mistake during the moment that right after the burst of feelings ended, everything felt back to normal and i was breaking down in his arms. "baby, baby-" jake hurriedly grabbed my face on the side with his big hands, his expression so worried "baby, what's the matter? i'm here, i'm here." i felt so embarrassed, crying infront of him and being such a mess. "i'm.. i-" i couldn't even speak right. he went back to hugging me, resting his head on top of mine. "don't worry, i'm here. let's sit somewhere and i'm gonna be here to listen okay? i won't leave." he rubbed the back of my head soothingly, and i was ready to sleep right there right now just because of the assurance he gave me. but i decided to agree with him. so, i led him to my bedroom, my most favorite venting place with him.

the moment we both sat on the edge of the bed facing the door, i faced my upper body towards him and buried my head on his chest. i felt him sigh deeply as his hands rub my hair. i managed to stop crying, but still sobbing. we stayed like this for a long period of time, honestly don't care about nothing as long as we stay like this.

he placed a kiss on top of my head, rubbing his hand down my back repeatedly. "i'm so sorry for leaving you all of a sudden, _____. i should've told you a lot sooner that i was gonna move to a different place for my studies." his voice was shaking and sounded like he was stopping himself from straining his voice, was he... crying? i lifted my head up to see his face, he was. it left me shocked because it was also my first time seeing him cry because of me. he does care about me.

guilt found its way on my heart and mind – guilty of accusing him that he doesn't care about me an hour ago because of the messages. i guess i was being too controlled by my emotions, i was being too self-centered. but i thought to myself that it's a good thing that i don't go over my head and i admit my mistakes to myself. he was probably on the way here when he left my messages on read. that also made me wonder why he was so fast at going here too, we live a city apart! out of reflex, i wiped his tears with my thumbs and cupped his face with my hands.

"jake, it's not your fault" that's the only thing i had to say at that second before continuing, "it's my issues. i just found it hard to adjust because i got used to leaning on you when i feel so bad and i feel like ending it all." he gently grabbed my hands from his face and intertwined them with his, "that's the point. i's supposed to catch you when you're on your worst, but what did i do?" he started to burst into tears and i panicked. "jake," i rested my forehead on his and held onto his shoulders for support, "you've done a lot. you went all the way here just because you cared about me. you were worried because of the messages. all i wish was you would've told me you were going here. i look like a mess and most importantly, i was worried you were fed up of me that you left my messages on read." my hands that were holding onto his shoulders, slid down to his arms and to his hands.

he finally looked at me, resisting his tears and pursing his quivering lips to stop producing crying noises. "i'm sorry, _____. i'm really, really, really sorry. i love you, i really do. from the way you look to the way you treat others. your face, your so-called flabby arms, your tummy, your legs, your body physique – i love and appreciate them with all my heart." he sniffed and wiped his tears before sitting straight and clasping my hand inside his, "i honestly love you just the way you are, you're not like the other girls. literally. you rock things in your own way and you don't need to fit everyone's standard just for their satisfaction. that is why i liked you at the first place, _____. you are you. you never let anyone tell you what to wear and what to be like for everyone else's eyes, you stand out so much from people 'cause you're one-of-a-kind and that i don't think i'll ever find someone else like you."

all these words are making me feel like i just reached heaven, though, i knew there is a bottomline to it. we're the type to tell what's wrong and right, frankly. no sugarcoating, just the hard truth. then, he lets out a deep sigh before continuing,

"i do not truly understand why you're feeling like this, is it because of someone? because of me?"

"jake, i can't help but feel conscious that i'm with you. it's not your fault, this is on me. i found it hard not to keep up with the game – you're sim jaeyun, you're the most popular student in our university. you have no idea how much students i've heard were talking behind my back. about how you're too low for dating a basic girl like me. and everything became worse when you switched schools, every girl in the university was tearing my reputation down and i'm not that strong and confident to shun them all. i'm sorry for not telling you this, babe. but i had a good reason not to tell you, you might jump them."

he immediately looked away from me and bursted a chuckle from what i last said, "well, you've made the wrong choice, _____. you should've told me, i would or would not have jumped them, but most importantly i could've protected you from those lowlife girls. though, i'm sorry i couldn't see that you were suffering 'cause of that reason. i was too blinded and was trying too hard to keep our relationship appropriate that i couldn't see that you had your own problem. come here." he opened his arms for me, which i gladly invited myself in. he pulled me in for a big hug, our heads resting on the nape of each other's necks. "i love you so much, _____. i keep saying i love you 'cause i can't express my love for you all in one go. don't compare yourself to them, okay? i'm the one telling you that. you don't need to worry about keeping up with the popularity and all, you're the best just on your own. you don't need anything else just for me to love you."

he gripped onto me tightly, cooing, "you're my paraluman, baby-" pecked my ear and neck gently "- you're the most beautiful goddess i've laid eyes on." i was crying again, except it was tears of joy. i felt so uplifted and the thought of having a boyfriend like him was making me feel pretty damn lucky and i felt like i won in life. i started snickering, out of curiosity, he pulled away from the hug and looked at my face, "why are you laughing while crying?" he giggled once and a smile formed on his lips. "i'm soooo lucky to have you, jaeyun. thank you so much for coming here tonight." i pecked his lips. and what i last said brought me to another question of the night, "wait, babe. how did you even get here that fast? just an hour?" i started to give him a '?' face.

he was dumbfounded at first, then he laughed, "i forgot to tell you. hoon-ah, he gave me a ride here. i told him to drop me on the other block and come back for me when i message him. he's in mcdonalds right now." my smile slowly faded when i heard that he was gonna go home tonight too. but it's as if he could read my mind, "don't worry, though, babe. i'll just message hoon-ah to go home, i'll stay for tonight." he gave me an assuring smile, his face that fully caught my attention for the first time tonight.

his eyes are swollen and red from crying, but he is glowing. the moonlight from the sky illuminating the room the best it can, the light shining on jake's unwiped tears. his skin so malleable, his clothes so comfortable – i wanna stay like this with him forever, even if it meant depression and consciousness for me. as long as he's with me, everything will be and feel alright, knowing that the reason behind his situation right now is because of his love for me – the care that i always wanted to get from someone i'd love back with my whole heart. someone who'd be the romeo to my juliet.

after some time, we laid down on the bed, opened the window to let air go inside and fill the room with the cold night breeze. this is when i started to think rationally, "jake, don't you have special saturday classes tomorrow?" i turned to my side to talk to him. he placed his index finger on my lips, "don't worry, we can just wake up early. or i could just skip class, i know my ways about catching up to lessons." his shenanigans made me get caught off-guard, laughing at his response to my question. but then i managed to bring the topic back to serious mode, "no, jake. you're gonna go tomorrow. we will wake up early so you can prepare. good thing you have extra clothes in my closet."

"ha!" he exclaimed before tapping the tip of my nose lightly with the same index finger, "i knew the clothes i hid here would be put to good use." we shared another laugh. i sighed, "i need sleep, goodnight baby." i turned to face the wall, "thank you for coming here again, i love you." "i love you too, my paraluman." this dude is seriously making me flustered everytime he has the chance. i immediately grabbed the sheets to cover my head, "jake, it's literally sleeping time. stop making your girlfriend blush." i said, smiling. he laughed at my response.

next day afternoon :

[love-and-other-potions]

Eyes to See, Ears to Hear

Remus Lupin x deaf reader

You walk through the Courtyard for the third time that day. You've been trying to find ways to distract yourself in every way you can think of but to no avail. Your deep, depressing thoughts keep trying to take control. Normally you're an upbeat person, but every once in a while, you experience melancholy.

You watch as people laugh and talk to their friends although you cannot hear them. It doesn't bother you that you have this health condition. Really, there are worse ones to have. But you've read about the beautiful sound of laughter, how a voice is as unique as someone's handwriting, and the inspiring noise that is music. You've read of the sound of heart-breaking sobs, of someone's voice so broken that they can hardly speak, and of sad, hard songs. You've read or have been told through sign language about all of these sounds that provoke great amounts of emotion and can't help but feel left out.

You try to conquer these useless feelings but the task seems impossible. You give up on trying to distract yourself and head back to your Common Room. As you round a corner, you accidentally walk into someone. Your hands grip the stranger's chest to try to prevent yourself from falling. You look up from the sweater-clad chest to see Remus Lupin's chocolate gaze. He steps back from you and lifts his hands to speak to you.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I wasn't watching where I was going."

You give him a small smile.

"It's quite alright, Remus. No harm, no foul."

"I haven't seen you since breakfast this morning. What have you been doing all day?"

"Dealing with things way past my maturity level."

He furrows his brows together.

"What do you mean?"

You shake your head.

"Nevermind. Forget I said anything."

"No, Y/N. Look, if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you."

"I'm sure you're a great listener, but I'm not. There lies the issue."

His eyes widen slightly.

'Oh finally, the gears are shifting in that big brain of his,' you think wryly.

"Come on Y/N. Let's go somewhere more comfortable to talk."

"Why?" you sign with distrust evident on your face.

"Because you obviously need someone to talk to, yet you're too stubborn to ask. Let's go."

He begins to walk, but turns after a few steps to see if you're following him. You roll your eyes but follow him nonetheless. You grudgingly follow him, all the while trying to figure out where a 'comfortable place to talk' is for him. Halfway up a staircase, you realize that he's leading you to the Gryffindor Common Room. You roll your eyes again.

As expected, you stop next to Remus at the portrait of the Fat Lady. She eyes you as Remus says something to her. She swings herself open for you. Remus motions for you to go first.

You step through the hole in the wall and you're instantly surrounded by warmth although the warmth has to do with the color scheme as much as the roaring fire in the pit. The Common Room has a spicy scent that smells of crisp Autumn leaves, cinnamon, and cider.

Remus leads to the corner of the room where two armchairs sit. He motions for you to take a seat on the corner one while he shifts the other to face you. As he sits down, you quirk a brow. He shifts his elbows to the armchair so that he may speak to you without straining his arm muscles. You have to give him credit for that; it's a very clever and thoughtful idea.

"So Y/N, tell me what's on your mind," he signs.

You sigh, or hope that's the noise you just made. It's not like you can hear it.

"I told you, Remus. It's nothing to worry about."

"Y/N, we've been friends for a while, wouldn't you say?"

You pause at this direction of conversation. You nod your head.

"Do you value our friendship?"

You frown.

"Of course I do."

"Then please respect me enough not to lie to me."

You look down for a moment. You twist  your fingers together in anxiety before you begin to sign.

"I've just been feeling down is all. I feel like the odd ball because I can't hear. I can't hear laughter, music, or crying. People have to take classes and go through so much trouble to even speak to me. I'll never even hear my crush's voice. I'm just experiencing the downfall of my health condition at the moment."

You shrug but continue to move your hands.

"But it'll pass soon enough. It always does."

You watch the flames of the fire lick the walls of the pit, but you also watch Remus out of the corner of your eye. He stares at you for a long moment. As his hands begin to move, you turn back to him.

"Yes, you are different Y/N, but that does not mean you're an oddball in any way. I understand how you might feel burdensome, but that is not the case. I took the class for many years and I have not regretted it even once. I understand that your condition limits conversation, but I admit that I enjoy being one of the few people that are able to talk to you. That's very selfish of me, but you're a wonderful person and I don't want to see you be corrupted like everyone else. You're very dear to me."

You blink at him, hoping to stop the tears that are fearing in your eyes. You take a deep breath.

"Thank you, Remus. That's the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me."

He smiles gently at you.

"It was nothing but the truth, sweetheart. As to the crush thing, you are truly remarkable as you are."

You smile at him to show how grateful you are for this talk.

"Do you mind if I ask who you have a crush on?"

"Yes I mind! That's the one thing you're not getting out of me!"

He frowns.

"Can I have a hint?"

You sigh again.

"You may ask one yes or no question. That's it."

He narrows his eyes in concentration.

"Does he sign and speak to you?"

You nod your head.

"That's all you're getting," you warn.

He nods as he stands. You stand as well.

"Well, thank you for talking to me, Y/N. If you'll excuse me, I have a paper that I need to finish. I trust you can see yourself out?"

You furrow your brows at his odd behavior, but nod that you could.

"That's good. I'll see you later then."

He leans in and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. As your heart speeds up at the little contact, he turns and climbs the stairs to the boys' dorm. You walk to the portrait in a confused daze, but much happier than when you entered.

*************

Later that week, Remus find you after your last class. His face seems strangely serious and anxious as he asks you to follow him to an empty classroom. As he leads the way, the anxiety rolls off of him and you catch it. You have no idea what's going on, but you're fearful of the possibilities. By the time you reach the classroom, you're a nervous wreck. He shuts the door behind you. As you turn around in the bare classroom, he begins to sign.

"Y/N, I'm going to ask you this again, but please answer."

You knit your eyebrows together and nod.

"Who do you have a crush on?"

The anxiety floods out of you and your shoulders sag in relief.

"Remus, I told you that I'm not telling you. Is this really what you dragged me in here for? An interrogation?"

He looks disappointed then anxious once more.

"Please just don't hate me for this," he begs through your hands.

He pulls his wand out and your breath catches in your throat.

This is it, you think. I'm dead.

You close your eyes in fear and try to breath through the shallow gasps escaping your mouth.

"Y/N," a male voice says softly in your mind.

Your eyes snap open in shock to see Remus already looking at you. The voice speaks to you.

"Please don't hate me."

That's when you realize that Remus is speaking inside of your mind.

"W-what? How? Remus?"

You take a step back as he starts to speak again.

"I've been looking for this spell for months Y/N. I wanted to be able to hear your voice and for you to hear mine as well. As I expected, your voice is as beautiful as you are. Anyways, after our talk the other day, I kept thinking about you having a crush on someone. It made me search for this spell even faster. And at last, I found it. I found it," he whispers the last sentence.

You put your hand to your mouth and take a step back. You can hear Remus' voice. He can talk to you. You can talk to him without raising your hands. It's too much. You fall into an empty chair and stare at him. His concerned chocolate gaze stays on you.

"I can't read your thoughts or anything," he rushes. "You can hear what I choose to speak and vice versa."

You blink at him.

"Why?"

He looks at you with a puzzles expression.

"Why what?"

"Why would you do this for me? Do you value our friendship that much?" You ask, echoing some of the words he had used in your earlier conversation.

He looks away from you.

"Ah, that's the hard part. You see, when you said you had a crush on someone, I got insanely jealous. That's why I acted so oddly afterward. I know you noticed, but I was too upset to apologize or care for your confusion. This jealousy spurred me into finding the spell faster. All the while, I kept thinking of the people that could sign to you. This list of people plagued me. Then I realized, or hoped rather, that it had to be me. I hoped with everything within me that it was me. I decided that I had to see. I had to see if it was me..." He trails off but still won't look at you.

Your heart begins to pound softly in your chest. You stand on shaky knees and step over to him. You lift your hand and press your palm against his cheek. He finally locks eyes with you. You can see the fear that he's trying to suppress in his eyes.

"Of course it's you," you whisper telepathically. "It's always been you."

He closes his eyes and nudges your palm with his cheek.

"Really?" He asks.

The hope in his voice breaks your heart.

"Yes Remus. How could I not have a crush on you? You've been so wonderful to me. Once you found out that I was deaf, you took classes so you could speak to me. After that, you made sure to come speak to me if you ever saw that I was by myself in a crowd. Besides all those wonderful things, you're extremely clever, funny, and charming. What's not to like?"

He mentally sighs and finally opens his eyes. His brown eyes meet your E/C ones.

"Are you sure this isn't a dream?"

You laugh.

"I'm sure, Remus."

"Well, if this love only exists in my dreams, don't wake me up."

"You cheeseball, but I am so glad to hear your voice. Did you know that your voice is beautiful?"

He laughs. Tears start to stream down your face.

"Your laugh is beautiful as well."

He gently wipes the tears from your face.

"No crying gorgeous."

You laugh and put your other hand on his empty cheek. He shifts his gaze to your lips then back to your eyes. Slowly, he leans in and presses his warm lips against yours. You wrap your arms around his neck and draw him closer to your body, closer to your heart.