#very niche fun fact you could never tell >_<< /div>
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Do you think Tim saying bernard shows him more than he was 'settling for' was a jab against tim/steph or more about being more open to the queer experience
absolutely a jab towards tim/steph (and its not the first #that woman wrote in, when describing tim and bernard’s relationship) which is really what makes me hate timber. 90% the foundation of their relationship relies on shitting on steph, how ‘bernard shows him what previous relationships didn’t’. yes, tim had other girlfriends but the only girlfriend dc currently acknowledges as ‘dated tim in canon’ is stephanie. they don’t remember ariana, zo, tam and don’t even mention them in relation to tim drake and his love life so it’s clear they mean stephanie. and i won’t even talk about that stupid panel in urban legends of ‘steph being excited to meet bernard’. she has been used as a tool to hype up a mediocre gay relationship since the start and it pisses me off.
in dark crisis: young justice, she doubles down by having ‘homophobic bruce wayne’ go ‘bernard sucks! your real destiny is stephanie brown!’ and i don’t care that technically he was supposed to represent the audience that hated bernard because discarding all criticism of steph being used to hype that mediocre white boy with a nothingburger personality up by acting like every hater is automatically homophobic or ultra nostalgic and ‘doesn’t actually care for steph’ while the writer didn’t even care to show stephanie’s side of the breakup is an insane tell on how she even views stephanie as a character.
#do you guys know i don’t like meghan fitzmartin#very niche fun fact you could never tell >_<#tim drake#dc comics#ban meghan fitzmartin from ever writing comic books again god bless#batman#robin#stephanie brown#LET STEPHANIE BROWN HATE ON BERNARD DOWD 2025
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in omnia paratus
Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Summary: Spencer's been on the fence with his feelings for you. Due to his past traumas he’s decided to keep his feelings hidden. Until you’re caught in a dangerous situation at work
WC: 3.5 k
A/N: I am SO SORRY this took so long. I’ve been sitting on this for two months because I was being a perfectionist and had writer's block. Thank you so much to the person who requested this idea and I hope ya’ll like it! beta read by @whats-yesterday00
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Protective!spencer, Friends to lovers, age gap (25 and idk 33 or 34), during season 9 (sadly no post prison Reid, I refuse to watch the show after Derek & Hotch leave), Maeve is implied
Warnings!: mentions of murder, stalking, gunshot wounds, hostage situation and incorrect info about hostage situation cause Idk I'm not in the FBI
Everyone knew Spencer Reid had a soft spot for you. Well, everyone except for you.
Since the moment you met you’ve been on his mind.
“Do you know how old she is?”
“No, how old is she?”
“25!” Penelope squeaked before being shushed by Rossi.
“Wow, she’s gotta be the youngest person to ever be in the BAU. Well, second to genius over here,” JJ commented while pointing to Reid.
“That’s if she gets the job,” Morgan added.
They were all crowded around the desks in front of Hotch’s office. The blinds were cracked and they could just barely make out the woman seated across from their boss for an interview.
Due to the increase in caseload after Alex joined, Hotch made the request to add an additional member of the team. After interviewing a few people that didn’t pan out, he heard quite a bit about you from your supervisor saying how well you’ve done with the FBI and you’d be an exceptional fit for the team.
Then of course Penelope looked up everyone who was interviewing with Hotch. You being her most recent victim.
“How long has she been with the FBI?” Alex questioned.
“Three years,” Penelope answered
“What? Did she join right after college?”
“Not right away. She graduated early and got experience with law enforcement first.”
Spencer sat at his desk quietly while everyone was peering into Hotch’s office. Not to say he wasn’t nosy as well. You were already behind the blinds when he arrived for work.
“Oh they’re shaking hands! That has to be a good sign,” Penelope cheered.
Morgan turned to the window, “It’s definitely not a bad one.”
Her eyes widened before loudly whispering, “Oh no they’re leaving. Disperse.”��
She scurried off in her heels towards Derek’s desk while he followed behind with a grin. JJ, and Rossi averted their eyes from Hotch’s office and found Alex’s desk far more interesting.
All while Spencer’s attention was brought to the woman led down the stairs by his boss. It felt like his heart stopped beating when he saw how beautiful you were. He was brought back to earth as Hotch introduced you to the rest of the team.
“This is Dr. Spencer Reid,” he gestured to the man sitting at his desk.
You offered him a small wave and a kind smile, “Nice to meet you.”
It became quite obvious you two would get along very well. From very early on conversation flowed incredibly well between the two of you. There were very few people that he felt were easy to talk to because of his niche interests and the way he would ramble spitting facts left and right.
But he never had to worry about saying the wrong thing or talking too much with you. You often were a content listener or you would even match his passion on certain subjects. Most were topics Spencer already knew about.
When you first met Spencer you didn’t know the Dr in his name meant he held 3 PhD’s or that he was quite literally a genius.
So you were often telling stories or facts you found interesting that he already knew. In fact, almost every “fun fact” you brought up, he knew about already.
But he never interrupted you. He always was listening intently to what you had to say. Like he was hearing about it for the first time.
At some point you learned of his eidetic memory and how vast his knowledge was. It was during a case where you found out and mentioned it to him.
“Reid, remember when we were at the harbor and I mentioned that thing about sharks?” You hesitated, “did you know that already?”
“Yes,” he guiltily admitted.
You partially deflated suddenly feeling that the whole tangent you went on was pointless. “Why did you let me go on and on if you already knew?”
His eyes softened, “because I wanted to hear you talk about it.”
That was when his feelings started to peek through. As the months went on it only grew and grew. And you were none the wiser.
To the average person, it might not seem like much. Perhaps you were just good friends. But to a team of profilers (and best friends) it was painfully obvious.
It was almost painful the way he looked at you with a longing in his eyes. Or when his gaze immediately turned to you to catch your reaction or smile.
It was obvious by the way he found any excuse to bring you up in conversation. Or how in conversation with you he would mirror your mannerisms and lean closer to you.
As well as the things he remembered about you or the little things he did for you. Like the countless coffee cups he bought for you from his favorite coffee shop before work. And when he saw you struggling to find something or open something he was always right there to help.
Spencer Reid had feelings for you. Feelings so deep that he couldn’t pull the roots out even if he tried.
He didn’t know what to do with his feelings exactly. He hadn’t felt this strongly for someone since … well for a while. He was terrified of history repeating itself.
He couldn't lose you. He’d seen first hand what this job did to him, what it did to Hotch. Their loved ones ripped away from them too soon.
So for now at least, he kept his feelings to himself.
Well, until your last case.
The BAU was called in on a case that just turned serial. They found the unsub to be a man named Mark, who started killing because his girlfriend cheated on him. The first two victims reminded him of the man she cheated with. When that didn’t satisfy him, he hunted down and killed the other man.
Now the team and SWAT was stationed outside a bus that Mark was holding hostage. He stalked his ex-girlfriend and tracked down the new city bus she took.
The officers couldn’t get a clear shot of him because of where he was standing and he kept using the passengers as shields. Rossi was currently on the phone with him trying to make negotiation terms and get some of the people off the bus. Mark however was incredibly stubborn and didn’t want to let his leverage go.
So Rossi asked about the children on the bus and if Mark would be willing to let them off. They were met with silence on the other end of the phone, contrary to his previous behavior where he loved to hear himself talk.
After a short pause the phone spoke. “I’ll only send out the kids if you send in an agent.”
Rossi shifted his weight and crossed his arms. “Are there any other circumstances you’re willing to send out the children for?” he asked.
“Nope,” he said with a pop at the end of the word.
A look of concern was quickly exchanged between Rossi and Hotch. While their faces didn’t reveal much, their eyes spoke volumes.
“How about this,” the unsub continued. “I’ll send out their moms too.”
Rossi’s eyebrows furrowed slightly at the eagerness to comply from the criminal. “You’ll send out the children and their mothers if we send in one of our agents?”
“I promise.”
Rossi returned his eyes to Hotch who stood rigid and tall with his arms folded. He was met with an approving nod before returning to the call.
“Alright, we can agree to those terms.”
“Oh and agent Rossi?” Mark perked.
“Yes?”
“Send in a girl.”
There was a tension that quietly branched out between the agents listening to the phone call.
“Why do you want a woman?” Rossi asked, clearly changing the dialogue used.
“I’m losing too many ladies sending out these moms. I want one back,” he replied with a cockiness to his voice.
Ross confirmed they could send in a female agent. Almost immediately after the unsub hung up, you volunteered to be the agent going on the bus.
“I’ll do it.”
Spencer’s head shot in your direction. “No you're not.” His voice was laced with concern and a hint of demand.
“Reid-”
“He specifically asked for a woman. We don’t know what he’s planning, he’s devolving.”
“And I’m willing to take that risk to make sure those kids are safe,” You defended yourself.
You turned to your boss waiting for his thoughts. Hotch knew you’d been exposed to enough high tension scenarios to know what you were doing. But just like any member of his team, he silently hesitated, worrying for your safety.
He took a breath before meeting your eyes again. “Send her in.”
Right before you were led to the bus, Hotch took off the holster on his ankle and handed it to you. “Some extra protection in case something happens.” You couldn’t hear the concern in his voice, but you saw it clear as day in his eyes.
You made your way to the bus and saw through the window Mark holding a gun to the driver and telling him to open the door. You stepped on and the doors closed quickly behind you. The unsub took a long look at you, panning up and down.
“Well how about that. Aren’t you a beauty? He said with a cheeky grin.
You tried your hardest not to look disgusted with him. Instead you kept your composure and spoke with courage and a confident demeanor.
“You this flirty with all your hostages?” you asked plainly.
As he gazed down at your legs his eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. He bent down and with the gun in his hand, pushed away the bottom of your pants leg. When he saw the gun in the holster, he tsked.
“You always carry this much dead weight on you?”
He stood back up and put his hand out, “hand it over, I told them no weapons.”
You reluctantly took off Hotch’s holster and placed it in the unsubs hand. Your one line of defense was gone.
The longer you were on the bus, the more anxious Spencer got. He knew you were an exceptional profiler, and you had enough experience and skill to handle yourself in situations like this.
But that couldn’t stop the ache in his stomach or the fact that his heart rate could power a car by now.
He stood closer to the bus now to get a clearer view of the windows. They managed to successfully get the children and moms off and to safety, but you weren’t safe. Spencer figured you were trying to negotiate with the unsub, but that was going nowhere. This was confirmed when Rossi tried calling him again but every call was ignored.
This unsub was stubborn as hell. He knows he trapped himself, but didn’t want to back down. At least he didn’t want to go quietly.
Spencer was talking with the rest of the team trying to devise a plan when the gunshots were fired. The team immediately ran back to the cacophony on the bus.
More shots were fired, he didn’t know where from. He didn’t care.
He just needed to get to you.
When he got a decent view through one of the windows that hadn’t shattered he saw you. Your hand over arm in pain but still standing in front of the civilians to protect them. The unsub stalking over to you, gun in hand and smacking you over the head with it. You slammed against the chairs and fell to the floor.
Spencer's face paled. He swore he was going to throw up.
Through the fog of his mind Spencer saw Morgan escorting Mark off the bus, his hands now behind his back in cuffs.
He rushed past them, clambering through the door and up the stairs to get to you, calling your name.
“Reid?” he heard your small tired voice through the crowd.
He followed it to you, laying on the ground struggling to open your eyes and clutching your left arm.
He crouched down to your level with a gentle hand on your uninjured arm.
“Hey, I’m here. I’m right here,” he comforted.
“My head hurts,” you mumbled.
His eyes softened, “I know. I think you might have a concussion, you need to go to the hospital.”
You slowly started to fade out of consciousness. Spencer’s heart dropped and his hand moved from your arm to your face.
“No no no no stay with me okay?” he caressed your cheek with his thumb.
“Stay with me sweetheart,” he consoled.
Your eyes stopped struggling to stay open and finally made their close. His other hand rushed to your pulse point as he called for a medic.
Time seemed to stand still while Spencer sat next to your hospital bed waiting for you to wake up. He couldn’t leave your side. He didn’t want to.
You were okay. You were laying in the bed in front of him. But of course in his mind he ran through all the possible scenarios of how things could’ve gone worse, how things could’ve gone better. What would’ve happened if you didn’t have your gun taken away, or if the unsub got angry that you tried to bring a gun in. What if he didn’t lose his cool and start firing. What if you never went inside in the first place.
And with all of those possible scenarios, the same thought plagued him.
He was wrong.
Before he was too scarred from past traumas to reveal just how much you meant to him. Not wanting to repeat the past and lose yet another person he loved cared for.
But now, after seeing you in danger right in front of him, now he was terrified at the thought of you never knowing. He was now more scared you would never know how much he loved the way your nose crinkled when you smiled. How he thought the sound of your voice could cure any ailment he had. How he admired your strength and desire to protect others. How you could light up anyone's mood by just being you. How he could listen to you for hours, even if you were lecturing him on things he’d known like the back of his hand.
To him it was a whole new experience hearing it from you.
Spencer was pulled from his thoughts as you stirred awake. He saw your eyes adjust to the bright fluorescent lights ahead. He quickly got up to dim the lights for you.
When he returned to his seat you smiled at him, “hi.”
“Hi,” he smiled back.
“How are you feeling?”
You sighed. “Like shit,” you complained with a hint of humor.
“The doctor said you have a minor head injury, bruised ribs, and the shot to your arm thankfully didn’t break any bones.”
“Fun,” you said sarcastically.
A moment of silence passes between you two. He doesn’t exactly know what to say. How do you casually tell your friend and coworker you have a crush on them?
There is no casual way.
“You called me sweetheart,” you broke the silence.
He furrowed his eyebrows, “What?”
You fidget with the blanket, “earlier, when I passed out on the bus. You called me sweetheart.”
He searches his mind for the memories of the day. When he finds the memory he realizes in the heat of the moment the term of endearment slipped out.
He wasn’t aware you heard it.
“I did,” he confirmed as his ears flushed.
“Why?” you asked curiously.
He didn’t know how to tell you that he’s wanted to call you that for weeks now. So instead he settled with-
“It just … felt right.”
“Oh,” you replied quietly.
Spencer tensed up at your response.
“If I crossed the line-“
“No. Of course not,” you interrupted with a comforting voice.
The corners of your mouth lifted and cheeks dusted pink. “I thought it was sweet. You don’t normally say stuff like that.”
His heart warmed at your confession and a smile spread on his face.
“You thought me calling you sweetheart was sweet?” he lightly teased.
“Shut up,” you chuckled, rolling your eyes. “You know what I mean.”
Your laughter was cut short by a sharp pain in your abdomen. You bit down on your lip and gripped the side of the bed in pain.
The reality that you were injured on the job was rushing back to him.
He licked his lips, his nervous unconscious habit.
“I was really worried about you.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t,” he interjected.
“The entire time you were on that bus I was sick to my stomach. Terrified that something bad was gonna happen and it did,” he started to ramble.
You leaned closer to him. ”But I’m okay Reid.”
“You still got hurt. He shot you for christ sake!” his voice raising in pitch and volume.
“Reid-”
“He lashed out at you! You could’ve died!”
“Spencer,” you said firmly, pulling his attention towards you.
He never heard you say his name before. No matter how many times he said you could call him Spencer, you still called him Reid. Hearing his name fall from your lips was like the consistency of honey.
You placed your hands on his face caressing his cheek. His golden eyes meet yours.
“I’m alright. I’m still here,” you consoled.
“But if-“
“Spencer.”
“Please,” he pleaded. “It’s important.”
You nodded your head, signaling for him to continue. He gently grabbed your wrists and brought your hands in his. He took a deep breath before he decided to spill the thing that had been eating away at his heart.
“I have feelings for you. I have for a long time. Almost as long as you’ve been at the BAU,” he started.
With your hands in his he started tracing his thumb over your knuckles.
“If we don’t have work I count down the days until I can see you again. When I do see you I desperately want to see you smile, see you happy. And if I’m the one that causes that smile, it makes my whole day. That’s why I never interrupted when you talked about something I already knew. The way your face lit up when you talked with such passion was the highlight of my day.”
“For months I was scared of my feelings and I kept them to myself. I was too scared to admit how much I liked you because I-” his hold on your hands tightened.
“I know what it feels like to lose someone. This job takes so much from us; I never wanted it to take you.”
Spencer let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in.
“Today I realized it would be more painful if I went the rest of my life not telling you, than having even a fraction of a moment with you.”
A moment of silence danced between you two. Your head reeling from his confession, heart beating so hard you could feel it in your bones. Your palms sweaty from holding onto Spencers, but still neither of you let go.
The silence was deafening, plaguing him.
“Please … say something,” he begged.
Your lash line was collecting tears that you simultaneously tried blinking away. Your eyes found his tie less intimidating than his gaze.
“I never thought you would like me back,” you said with a soft tone.
Spencer's cheeks turned red as his heart started melting. “I do.”
You brought your eyes back to his. That precious smile on his face was infectious.
“Listen,” you squeezed his hands. “I’m not going anywhere. So you have as much time with me as you want.”
Spencer's eyes softened at your words. He raised your hands and placed a loving kiss on your knuckles.
The two of you were too lost in eachother to notice the footsteps towards the room.
“Hey, I found some Jello for her if she-” Alex abruptly stopped once she noticed what she walked into.
You both awkwardly pulled your hands away from each other; you fiddling with the hospital blanket, him rubbing his palms on his slacks.
“So, feeling better?” she asked hesitantly.
“Much,” you answered, still a bit flustered.
“Good, good to hear,” She tried not to sound too smug, but the small smile on her face said otherwise.
She raised and shook the jello container in her hand.
“I’m gonna leave this here,” she placed it on the table. “I’ll be back in a bit.”
“Thanks Blake,” you thanked as she left.
Once she was gone you quietly giggled and mumbled “oh my god,” under your breath.
“You know, she kept teasing me asking when I was going to ask you out. And don’t even get me started on Morgan,” he chuckled, shaking his head.
Your jaw dropped and eyes furrowed. “Did everyone else know but me?”
He pressed his lips in a thin line, “pretty much.”
“I must be a shitty profiler,” you half joked.
“Absolutely not,” he said in the most comforting voice. He brushed the hair that had fallen in front of your face behind your ear.
“You’re an amazing profiler.”
You smiled that smile he loved so much. The one where you couldn’t hide your joy and your nose crinkled.
“So, how do you think you’ll spend all those moments with me?” you inquired with a bit of a teasing tone.
“Doing anything sweetheart,” he answered seriously. He looked at you with awe written all over your face. “I'm ready for anything with you.”
“in omnia paratus” - ready for anything
Tag asks: @adrienneleclerc @ladybirdbeetle7
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid headcanon#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid x you#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid angst
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Who is W.D. Gaster?
DISCLAIMER: Generally my theories are my observations with no clear conclusion at the end, the same technically applies for this one. I am not forcing anyone take this as 100% truth because as I'm going to explain, there are potential windows into other ideas/conclusions. I am bringing this up because I haven't seen it brought up and searching for it also returns no results. Also numbers. Also I'm tricking you with the title.
This theory is making the assumption that you have read other W.D. Gaster theories, I don't want to dig up every detail that's already been repeated and tbh I wouldn't remember all the details anyway. I am focusing on a point that I KNOW has not been focused on before.
ENTRY SEVENTEEN (Wait Max you just said--)
Ok, obvious point: ENTRY SEVENTEEN. W.D. Gaster speaks in ALL CAPS with no *, a very significant detail of his character, along with his mannerisms in speaking. It's unclear what the lack of * means but it could be related to the fact he has been erased, shattered across time and space, and mostly forgotten.
The room is called "room_gaster", so the connection has already been made here. W.D. Gaster has clearly written this entry, or at least was present for it.
2. THE NUMBER 17
Ok so I don't know if anyone has ever questioned it- but why the number 17? The sound and the fact 17 is spelled out as seventeen most likely means that this entry was spoken.
Is it because 7 - 1 = 6? or 1 + 7 = 8? What would be the significance there?
Early on in Undertale, True Lab Entry 17 did exist, but was never added to the lab directly. It was removed after a future patch, making Entry Seventeen the only one.
But why 17? What does 17 mean?
In Undertale, there are a few things associated with the number 17.
youtube
mus_st_him is 17 seconds long, this music is called "Gaster's Theme" in the sound test room.
Still, this seems to line up with W.D. Gaster being connected to the number 17
Junk food, that you can buy from Bratty and Catty, "Food that was probably once thrown away." Discarded? Abandoned? It already has a big bite out of it.
The Abandoned Quiche, heals 34 HP. A psychologically damaged spinach egg pie.
Perhaps this is too excessive, BUT: 2 x 17 = 34
Also Q is the 17th letter of the Alphabet.
If you think the Quiche is bad then this next one is WORSE:
youtube
The Deltarune song, Don't Forget. We have a note in Undertale that says "Don't Forget", with 3 characters we don't know.
It is 51 seconds long...
That is 3 x 17.
Discarded like trash, Abandoned because it was too much responsibility.. Forgotten?
3. PAPYRUS IS W.D. GASTER
I would like to tell you that this bastard (affectionate) has been hiding in front of us the entire time. Of course the Papyrus is Gaster fans knew all along, but we are but a small niche of the fandom where the theories can be simply tossed aside with excuses of Papyrus is just a goofy guy, he's just joking, there's no way there's anything serious about him.
Anyway now that I've connected W.D. Gaster with 17, allow me to show you why Papyrus IS Gaster.
In a pacifist run, Papyrus's ATK and DEF are 20
In a murder run, Papyrus's ATK and DEF are 3
That is -17
On Attack number 17 of his battle, Papyrus mentions his special attack. This attack and 3 attacks after are randomized, until Annoying Dog takes his attack, and he uses his 'regular attack'. I have been focusing on the 3 here, but counting the random attacks (4) and Annoying Dog interrupting afterwards, Papyrus has 6 attacks/turns after 17.
There are 16 monsters you have to dust in Snowdin, Papyrus is the 17th.
4. A SMALL NOTE
Papyrus has 680 HP, that can be divided by 17 (either 17 x 40 or 170 x 4) .
EDIT:
Adding another Q = 17 = Abandon item
The FUN values. F is the 6th letter of the alphabet, what do the Fun values do? They change our run in specific ways, meeting characters that don't appear again and getting strange phone calls. There is also something else that starts with F that changes the game completely.
Flowey.. and of course:
Frisk.
These names do not exist in Deltarune, W.D. Gaster has not been shattered.
5. CONCLUSION
17 means Abandoned, discarded, forgotten and forgettable. The close tie in with 3 potentially means that 3 characters have been forgotten already (the 'Don't Forget' is useless).
Despite Papyrus speaking in all caps with no *, it is a possibility that Papyrus is one of the other two in Entry Seventeen, or Entry Seventeen itself is ABOUT Papyrus. But, this also depends on who the Goner Creator is, because that... is ANOTHERHIM.
So Papyrus could be: W.D. Gaster, one of the 2 in entry 17, the Goner Maker, or the Man behind the tree. Maybe two? Maybe all of them? As a treat? Or perhaps he is also something else..
Anyway this theory/observation ties in with my observations with the NUMBER 3, which is great! It was fun, it was easy!! I cannot!! say the same!!! for 8!!!!
#papyrus is gaster#undertale theory#W.D. Gaster#Papyrus#undertale papyrus#screenshots#screenshot#Don't ask me about 8#(It's ok if you ask me about 8 but I'm afraid I don't have a coherent answer)#Youtube
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Okay these are the head cannons I have so far, and yes I will always add more 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Herbert West headcanonnons:
a gay or unlabeled trans man
also aroace
AuDHD
Hates loud noises or bright lights specifically
Clenches his jaw or grates his teeth when he sleeps
Rarely ever remembers to shower but also needs everything around him to be clean
Despises coffee but if he had to drink it, he would either drink it purely black and probably like the bottom of the coffee pot or so much sugar it’s insane
He secretly has a sweet tooth (PLS HEAR ME OUT ON THIS)
Literally only wears suits and will sometimes sleep in them
Doesn’t remember to take care of himself like ever
he loves compression socks (once again just hear me out)
He wears sock garters
smells like either mold/corpses or hand sanitizer, no in between.
he has two different handwriting, one that is like a mix of cursive and his normal in pen, and really shitty writing in pencil.
Rarely would ever care for music but he would occasionally go with classical
LOVES the rain/thunderstorms
Wanted to study archeology when he was younger (I’m projecting)
will go through math equations when he gets bored or stressed
Definitely stims, but specifically hand taps, leg taps, facial movements, and scrunching his hands or opening and closing his hands into a fist shape, or swaying/pacing.
He also Stims by breaking the fuck out of No.2 pencils and sometimes even pens if he’s stressed out/agitated enough
He fidgets with his tie and watch a lot, especially when he’s nervous, it’s one of the only ways you can tell he’s on edge
Either can’t sit still for hours or will be so silent/still you won’t notice he’s there.
Has a collection of encyclopedias that are really fucking old.
Will read fiction on very, and I mean VERY rare occasions. They will most likely be science fiction too.
Gruber was 100% a father figure for him.
Genuinely couldn’t give less of a fuck about your opinion on him unless you say something about his work.
did his own top surgery with perfect performance and had guidance from Gruber
Doesn’t drink much besides water or just well nothing, but will have some tea on occasion.
I also like the idea of him liking 7 up from the cut scene because it’s silly
used to wear socks with fun yet sophisticated designs on them in high school.
He definitely dressed like your average high school nerd when he was younger, suspenders and all.
Used to have glasses that would make his eyes look 10x bigger
His vision is absolute shit without his glasses, basically a male Velma.
also I think it’s silly to say he did ballet when he was younger (reference to the bride commentary)
used to have his hair a bit more shoulder length in high school
literally sleeps with one single pillow and a sheet. Also his bed feels like a rock when you lay on it. (He never fucking sleeps)
actually really enjoys nature and not just in the experimental environment way, but you would have to water board that info out of him.
Genuinely wants some kind of reptile as a pet.
he has so many random facts on the most niche things you could possibly not want know/hear about.
Genuinely likes the color green, but more of a forest green and not bright ass neon.
has gone camping ONCE.
has a specific routine for everything and will breakdown if it doesn’t go accordingly
never ever shows his meltdowns to anyone but himself
Has gone to the psych ward during his time in Switzerland after Grubers death
Doesn’t trust psychiatrists
this one I think is just funny to me but he has tried to read fiction with magic and shit and HATES IT. Read love craft and he had called that man out for his writing and bigotry so many times to Gruber and probably Dan.
Has the most manic laugh/giggle you’ve ever heard
smiles with his teeth if he’s being an asshole, almost like the Cheshire Cat, smiles with his mouth closed in a tight line when he’s sarcastic or annoyed, only has smiled genuinely like twice.
Hates showing emotions, even negative ones. He prefers to seem entirely neutral unless provoked
never looks himself in the mirror
hates going to the barber shop and prefers to cut his own hair
Literally cannot legally drive
Speed walks, he cannot walk at a normal pace ever.
Enjoys puns and jokes but only if he’s the one making them.
Death glares that could kill a man if it were possible.
thinks he’s very clever but sometimes he really is just stupid 🙁
thinks logically but not rationally
His morals are so fucking grey, like he has his lines he won’t ever cross but besides that, he does not give a fuck at all
He sits with his legs crossed or he sits like a bird perched on a branch, no in between
He either really loves or really hates small spaces
loves curling his body into himself or have his chested puffed out really proudly once again, no in between
He has SERIOUS back problems, and has kinda bad posture
He paces so much that it freaks Dan out sometimes
Talks to himself a LOT
If he lets himself relax, he often does crossword puzzles or just reads medical textbooks and highlights the misinformation in them
does actually care for Dan, just has a really hard and shitty way of showing it
Finds the realism art movement very interesting, and did a lot of research on Eakins to understand how to draw anatomy for his subjects
#jeffrey combs#reanimator#bride of reanimator#herbert west#80s horror#beyond reanimator#danbert#headcannons#headcanon
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the australian government is trying to legislate kids under sixteen off of social media. so, if you are aussie and under sixteen, you won’t be allowed to have a sm account on sites like twitter, tiktok, facebook, youtube—and more.
i know our relationship with minors, as fic writers who write for other adults, is rocky at best. the rise in self-censoring and shame-based attitudes among readers in general is helping to kill any and all artistic curiosity in the next generation, which in turn makes it actively hard to be in shared, online fan spaces. it’s easy to blame the kids, but at its heart i think this is an active adult failure. our younger generations have gotten the raw end of the deal, in many ways; one of them being allowed to grow up alongside of material that they should’ve never had free access to, not without guided parenting.
And that’s the thing. the answer isn’t banning them. the legislation involved means that social media companies will be the ones to face the penalties (the fines) if minors break the new laws. which means—what? censorship gets even worse, in an effort to be even more kid friendly? Government-interest friendly? this talk started happening in the thick of the pro-palestine marches, as the movement was trickling into universities and highschools. And okay, let’s say it’s not that—what else could this be about? could it maybe have something to do with the fact that the australian government wants to implement a Digital ID nation wide?
"This one is for the mums and dads,” Albo, Anthony Albanese, our prime minister and prime dickhead, says in the announcement. “They, like me, are worried sick about the safety of our kids online. I want Australian families to know that the government has your back.”
But this isn’t about protecting kids. At the very best, they’re selling it as a scapegoat—like, oh! Haha, now you can just tell the kids it’s illegal!! It completely ignores the reality that people have to parent these humans. Like, it’s giving people, at best, an excuse to continue being lazy. They don’t have to sit down with their kids and the things they’re engaging with, anymore—because they’re banned from it! Instead having conversations about the media they encounter, it’s okay! You don’t need to worry about that anymore! The australian government wants to pretend this is about protecting kids from predators or online bullying, instead of parents confronting the fact they’ve created little assholes with unfettered access to tools to harass people with, or let their kids walk into traps because they haven’t taught them basic internet safety.
I have mixed feelings. Like any other (reasonable) adult, I worry about what kind of effects this much freedom to this much knowledge and drivel and personality can do to someone younger, someone who hasn’t like—had to learn how to make their way through a world where people are messy and a little weird and sometimes outright unlikable, but you have to still be professional about it, you know? I worry about things like micro-trends running the fun and excitement of digging in and finding some niche fashion that becomes your personality. I worry about status symbols like the right makeup and fitness pants and waterbottles getting popular too fast, and then cycling out just as quickly and creating a pace that kids without means can’t participate in as fast. I worry about podcasts run by sigma-pus males or whatever, tradwives selling glamour under the pretense of housework, like, so much of it. But these are all things that you as a parent have to negate!!! Like. You can’t just ban kids from the internet and then expect them to be normal about things whenever they’re allowed back—you have to teach them to be, to handle it. You have to teach them!!
I am saying this as an adult. An adult who likes adult things, and likes them in an open, easily-accessible space. An adult who would actively benefit from minor-free social media. There are things as an adult creator that I wanna talk about, or write about, in ways that aren’t always age-appropriate (or at all!!) for a younger audience. And look—my personal view has always been that as a fanfic writer, my responsibility to you guys (adults and sneaky-little-minors alike!!) has always been to warn appropriately on or in the fics themselves. That’s it. You get the warning labels on the tin, and you decide what to do with that afterwards. It’s not always perfect because I’m not perfect. I will make mistakes. I might not tag for something specific that ends up being a trigger for you. But the thing with fanfiction and fanfic communities is that we generally have to trust each other. I might miss a warning, but you have to trust that that mistake wasn’t a deliberate effort to hurt you. I have to trust that you guys know your own boundaries and will engage—or not!!—accordingly. I opt to treat my space here, my blog, as an open-one. Because it is! It’s a public blog LOL. If you have a tumblr account, then you have access to it! So, I try to treat this space like a public conversation in a café, or a foodcourt. Maybe I slip a raunchy little book over the table to you, and we make one or two rude jokes, or otherwise a stray rando catches the tail-end of a more serious conversation—but it’s all things I would be comfortable (enough) discussing with someone in a space where maybe I don’t know everyone involved, you know? I benefit from the knowledge that oh well, at least I don’t have to worry about local kids getting on here. 💀 But—I hate that for them!! Do I trust younger readers? Not always!!! I worry that they’ll get caught in the wrong feedback loop, that they don’t like, investigate claims or challenge information for themselves, that they’ve never had to! And hey, to be completely fair, I don’t always trust proper adult readers with that either LMFAOOO, but the point is that kids get more grace and more worry from me because they are still actively learning to be apart of things, of communities. And I think banning them from that is ultimately a mistake. To protect someone you have to teach them what to look out for, how to engage safely, how to trust themselves. And that’s not what’s going to be achieved here. This social media ban is a useless bandaid in the face of bigger problems (housing crisis, inflation, the AUKUS submarine thing i don’t even want to talk about it its stupid) that the government is waving around to distract everyone with. And it’s working. Because people would rather sit there and scroll on facebook, or whatever, instagram, instead of actively parenting.
#it makes me big mad bc my mum was like—probably my biggest champion when it came to reading#like she wouldn’t ban me from reading certain books. if i ever picked up something she had concerns about we would talk about it together.#and yeah that’s different from actively being on social media BUT a lot of what i learnt through her trust in that carried over to how i —#—engaged with the internet as an older kid and teenager and young adult#anyways i think it’s a slippery slope !!!!!!! fuck all governments they’re all evil#things like this seem bengin or even helpful but they only serve to tighten the noose around us all further!!!!!
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In a completely meta way think the fears accomplish zodiac signs for a very niche kind of autistic people the way zodiac signs never could.
This is probably also why the fandom (me included) are so dead set on fitting every single thing into fear categories,,
For starters you!!! Get to pick your own!! Out of 15, and you can even mix as necessary, most people will have 2 or more fears that they align with (personally although I don’t need to tell most of you, the buried is my little box, I’m also fond of the extinction, but buried all the way)
with regular zodiac signs you are assigned an alignment by your birth date and expected to fit within it, despite the fact that zodiac signs where never meant to be understood that way in the first place and there is in fact more to it that regular pop-culture doesn’t convey.
With the fears you get to pick your own alignment based on what you feel in your autistic little heart. Sometimes the alignment even comes with a fun little blorbo or two to obsess over (buried fans are weeping rn/j)
But yeah, hopefully people see the vision and I’m not just insane
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if you were to direct a motogp movie (or make a one season of television) what season or rivalry would you make it about? and more interesting what artistic liberties would you take? it doesn’t have to be a straight up biopic bc imo those are often boring, instead it could be something like velvet goldmine (1998) aka fictional characters whose real life counterparts are pretty obvious, veering in like rpf territory. anyways👀
did you know. one time this guy put a curse on this other guy. and he never won a race again
anyway, look, I do feel like by this point that's the BORING answer from me, but obviously it's where my mind first went. I'm not sure I'd actually want it out there in film form because by now it's badly enough remembered that it's like, my cute little niche story, and I think there's something fun about the Wider World even within the motogp fandom not exactly getting how bonkers the whole thing was. (I know other humans have canonically watched motogp 2004 but I swear even journalists have forgotten some key key details and it's kinda annoying but also fun.) bold words from someone who's been blogging about it!! weird gatekeep-y instinct. but basically my job here is done as far as outreach is concerned - I wrote a very long post, now I get asks about it twice a week that allow me to think about it some more with the four other people who care, perfect balance. that rivalry doesn't need to go mainstream!! the whole point of it is that it's kinda cruel but narratively pleasing that it's gone under the radar, because it's another sign valentino won. but obviously, I cannot literally make a film about this, so the hypothetical repercussions I think maybe we can put aside for a moment here
okay I came back to this bit of the post after I increasingly got into of the spirit of coming up with dumb ideas, but it did make me flesh out what I'd even WANT from something like that. I'm with you anon, a lot of biopics are boring!! if you want to just know what happened, please just literally go and 'watch the races' and 'read books' like what are we actually getting here. you kinda want to give it a purpose for existing, right, a way of portraying real/mildly fictionalised events in a manner that is also taking some kind of stance on the material AND is doing stuff you can't do 'in real life'. thing is, look, you could make 2006 into a film, and I'm sure it'd be perfectly nice because it's fundamentally a solid underdog story (well, inherently winning a title with repsol honda is NOT being an underdog but you can write it that way), but also what are you doing beyond just telling people what happened? I feel like that generally about single seasons, they're not really doing anything for me. I was also turning around the biaggi/valentino rivalry in my head in part because that's the one valentino gave as his answer for 'rivalry he would turn into a film' (marc big wet eyes sitting right next to him), but like. a film about that rivalry from valentino's pov is fundamentally not something I'm interested in. you have all these isolated very memorable moments that make it work as a rivalry, like you can absolutely spin them into a dramatic yarn that goes through the genesis of their conflict to middle finger gate to punching gate to assen + donington + sachsenring + phillip island 2001 and it's basically *insert rousing music* successful coming of age. at most you can lean into the fact valentino became successful at being a dick. like idk it's fine but also what's the point? valentino is challenged in a sports context by biaggi, he's challenged because he realises his words have consequence and the press actually reports the words he says to journalists (the horror), but he is fundamentally not challenged on a personal level. that's the entire point, right? it's the ultimate comfort zone rivalry - biaggi is a dick who it is quite easy to hate and also reacts poorly to valentino's initial provocation. the animosity escalates and it is inherently fun to beat him. valentino is mean to him, but it's not like he even really crosses any lines to beat him. like you can make it into a film, and if you twisted the material a little bit you could make it satisfying, but I don't want to!
now the way the writing process of this post worked was that I was going to breeze through a bunch of non-sete/valentino rivalries and explain why I think some of them don't work for our purposes here, but then I ended up writing myself into changing my mind. so my take on the biaggi rivalry is that actually, you CAN make it work but it has to be from biaggi's perspective. basically, I think you've got to amadeus it (a web weave I have been thinking of making at some point btw). so,,, it's a meditation on talent and how unfair it all is, maybe minus the bit where salieri poisons amadeus (I know that doesn't happen in the film) or dresses up as amadeus' father to, y'know, make him write a requiem on his death bed. and it's not amadeus in that HERE, the clown prince gets a happy ending! but it's more like, in thematic terms, I think you have to zero in on this bit. biaggi didn't have parents who shoved him on a bike when he was three years old, he didn't have parents who were invested in his motorcycling career (or even necessarily particularly invested in him), he started the sport late and discovered that, yes, he did have a prodigious amount of skill in it - but one that he started honing far later than valentino did. he approached his career with a sort of grim resolve, surly and irascible and not interested in making friends with any of his competitors but very, very good. he goes away from the race track and dates all these models, he irritates fellow riders, he's not part of the gang and he's happy about it. he's very successful! four 250cc titles, wins his first ever race in 500cc at a time when doohan was very much winning everything. he's also just like,,,, an interesting and spiky enough character it's not hard to make him come alive
but then of course you have this gradual emergence of the amadeus character, the one who challenges his established position in the court of,, well... motorcycle racing, and also as the guy italians rooted for! and valentino's obviously, y'know, in so many ways the exact opposite from biaggi, and he's super young and cheerful and lively and is doing all his silly celebrations and is being a bit camp and goofy and treats motorcycle racing as a party (you really want to lean into the culture clash here, like in amadeus it's because you have stuffy austrian court vibes but here it's because everyone is having their bones broken every two minutes and just how... kinda grim a lot of motorcycle racing was). and he's also this innocent! yes, he insults biaggi, and yes, in retrospect we know valentino is kinda evil, but at the time he was a kid with a big mouth who was a little taken aback by how that biaggi feud sort of escalated beyond what he'd actually intended it to do! and biaggi just, hates him. and I think, sorry to the real man max biaggi here, but you've got to play with how once they're actually competing with each other, it's miserable how there's just this unbreachable gulf in talent. like, whatever biaggi does he cannot win! he isn't going to defeat valentino over the course of a full season! which is depressing and horrible and CRUEL, because there's this inevitability to the whole thing... and also! because valentino doesn't DESERVE it. and you don't have to go full salieri pleading with god to explain how god could give this CLOWN all this talent, but it's kinda the same vibe! how is it valentino, who is constantly just having a laff and canonically maybe wasn't the biggest gym-goer in the paddock and is just generally seen as, y'know, a bit of a dandy, this foppish clown who everyone loves and who doesn't have to work hard to be good - how is he the one who is winning so much!! it's miserable and unjust... and I think how you portray this is that you really emphasise the kinda, repetitive nature of the defeat. like, I think you probably want to make this into a non-linear narrative where all this biaggi backstory is communicated somehow but you don't just start it when he was born or whatever - you start it in 2001 when they're competing for a title and already hate each other. and then you heavy on the time loop vibes. the whole cinematic language and all that other shit should emphasise how all these weekends are structured in exactly the same way and if you're losing to this one guy, all these different weekends can start feeling the same. it bleeds into each other, it feels inescapable, you're trapped in this narrative you can't change... worst of all, you even return to the same places again and again - like play with that! biaggi keeps coming back to where they had the fist fight, to where valentino first insulted him all those years back. you play up the disorientation and the misery of it all, plus biaggi canonically gives us all this kinda messy freudian shit to play with like how he was dating 'valentina' and his relationship with her was falling apart because of how miserable valentino was making him. it's all there!!
ANYWAYS the way you conclude this story is!! welkom 2004!! so again we can artistic license this a little bit and, uh, ignore sete (though I do also think it's fun if you lean into biaggi being displaced as a rival and staring at them being friendly and happy with each other from the outside) - but the key bit is that valentino is finally making the big error. biaggi wasn't winning titles on a yamaha, since he left yamaha has gotten worse, now valentino is making this big mistake out of his own hubris. language of cinema that shit and make everything brighter and more hopeful.... the time loop is finally over, biaggi has escaped, this year will be different!!!! everyone in his circle agrees, valentino is fucked. step off the plane at welkom (pre season testing didn't happen in this universe) and it's literal dawn of a new day... staring out at the sun and finally, biaggi can move on, can live a new and different life. anyway. obviously we all know what's coming next - you have this big dramatic climactic race where biaggi throws himself at valentino again and again and again and he comes so close to winning it... but he doesn't. and you have valentino living his best life, being delighted, but the film is focusing on how like,,, we're bleaching the joy back out of biaggi's life, how actually he's returning to what he already knew. and it ends on the podium, with the camera focusing on biaggi on that fucking second step or zooming in or whatever (idk how cinema works) and it just finishes on this shot of biaggi dead-eyed in a bleak world, trapped again for eternity aka until the end of the 2005 season. done!! I'm not sure this is quite what valentino had in mind, but. well. that's how I'd do it
this is from the pushkin play from 1832 not the 1984 film but like. low key pushkin already kinda nailed the essence of sports rivalries in the 1830s and we just have to acknowledge that sometimes
right. so the casey rivalry is where I'm going to go completely off the wall. skip this bit to get to the slightly saner stuff. this is also one I fully admit to sometimes playing around with in my mind anyway, but. uh. I'm gonna be taking this one in just. well. places. I do have a vision here but I also don't quite know how to explain it in a way that doesn't make me sound like I've lost my mind, but well if you're still reading this then that's on you. so lemme get this out of the way: the classic sports biopic formula would work well with casey. if I had to point to a single rider I would sports biopic-ify, it's casey. so you have all this kinda,, obvious adversity that's easy to get across, and it's a narrative you can follow chronologically without too much trouble. you've got all the childhood stuff, the australian racing club not letting him join them, the move to britain, the rising through the ranks, it's also this very biopic-friendly 'nobody ever believed in him apart from like three people' stuff. and the premier class is also narratively satisfying, from the rocky rookie season to the kinda shock success to then all the lows of 2008 and 2009 and the physical ailments and the anxiety and then the switch to honda and the title and then him deciding to retire... that's all good stuff! you can absolutely biopic-ify it! gun to my head and sure, I can walk you through exactly what bits of his life I'd focus on and put in what order and so on, and I think ultimately you could make a very good sports biopic from that
[some mild gore to follow in this next section]
but also. thing is. that's fine. it's just not where I want to go here, because again I feel like at that point you can also pick up his autobiography and just read it - because what you're basically doing here is just filming that. and I get how this stuff works, you're bringing the story to a wider audience, you can show stuff in a different way in that medium etc etc, and that's all great but also I don't care about bringing stuff to a wider audience. I care about doing fun stuff in my brain. so what I'd actually do here is just, basically, go in the exact opposite direction and ditch all the realism. genuinely, ditch the live action stuff, we're going animated - what I'm interested in here is stuff where we need to be able to fully suspend our disbelief and lean into some surreal shit. I'm not going to bury the lede here: my idea is that you take that thing where casey said he hated how ducati was ruining the bike by letting valentino's yellow encroach on it and, basically,, just go all in on that bit. like come on, that is so singularly visually evocative, it truly captures a lot of what's going on thematically in that rivalry. (see also x and x for the most relevant casey posts.) casey sees valentino as the malevolent force, this infection! he associates him strongly with a specific colour, one that can be sickly or unnatural or just... evil. malignant, malicious, malevolent, all the m words. to casey, valentino is a personification of everything that is wrong with the sport. valentino is literally the walking manifestation for so many of his issues, from the dangerous riding to the lack of respect to the lying to the cult of personality to the obsession with image and the media to the backroom games to the politics to the injustice of how different riders are treated differently, like!! he's literally all of that! this is a topic for another post, but this plays out in a lot of kinda, weird and funky ways where it's a two way street and sometimes when casey talks about motogp you go 'actually I think that's just valentino?' (btw he also does this about 'europe' right I don't think those are europeans you hate casey that's literally just valentino) and sometimes when he talks about valentino it's kinda? this feels like it's about a little more than the bloke himself? and basically, right, I think you need to take this to its natural conclusion where casey used to admire him and look up to him and want to emulate him on track and then gets disillusioned when valentino's worshippers turn against casey and casey is the one to bring valentino down to earth and... listen, I think you need to play around with valentino being a literal god. and I think you need to have casey stab him to cover up the yellow on the ducati with blood
okay. look. the idea here, right, is that we're basically making the subtext text, and just digging into that process of 'bringing valentino back to earth', of taking on a god and having the audacity to succeed, and also treating valentino as this sort of. infection in his own mind. the bike is literally being infected!! casey may have left the ducati but he STILL has some fidelity and love for this project, those were his people he worked with, and now valentino is coming in and just twisting everything around himself!! but also I think how this functions is that, okay, so you have all this normal stuff that's the actual 'plot' in the 'real world', but the ISSUE with the real world is that there's a lot of stuff that just. isn't possible there. like the thing casey wants in that rivalry but is never going to have is... a captive audience. a big problem casey has in that rivalry is that he doesn't get the chance to actually say a lot of stuff to valentino. he starts using the media more and more and plays the game on valentino's level, but there's still this disconnect where mr straight talking is the valentino rival who valentino never really blanks or freezes out like... there's a disconnect! there's valentino the person, who casey never quite figures out how to just straight up hate, and then there's valentino the character, the racer, the rider, the god who casey DESPISES. but when they're doing small talk at pressers and podiums, casey doesn't get to talk to that version of valentino! he just talks to valentino the person, who obviously isn't literally a different person but is also not going to explain to casey where he's coming from, is he, and also isn't someone who casey can explain to where HE is coming from. and that gulf... it does bother casey. I don't think he can quite verbalise why either, but there's just... this creeping tension. I think it'd be easier for casey if valentino really were more of a caricature, just kinda a dick in all walks of life. and there's just these canonical hints of that... the way casey talks about how he's sure valentino as a guy is fine, but he never knew valentino like that, the whole 'I'd like to go with valentino for dinner to tell him where I was coming from in that rivalry' thing, like!! it's there
so basically EYE think what you should be doing is using the wonders of storytelling to actually. embrace that element. and just leave realism behind now and again. valentino is a god, he is literally worshipped, he's part of this pantheon that casey is trekking to reach. casey is brave enough to take him on in combat, he is the first one who is truly able to draw blood. he sees how valentino isn't just a god of joy or battles or speed or the SUN or any of that other stuff - he's a disease, an illness, a god who is also a false prophet... the worship never quite goes away, because who ever truly gets rid of their valentino rossi complex, but casey eventually is given the chance to face a chained valentino and kinda,,, ritualistically publicly humiliate him using the ducati as both this sick thing that has to be 'cured' and this symbol of valentino's failure. I'm sorry, visual language goes brr here, like chain him up, do weirdly eroticised torture idc!! (psst psst valentino's fucked up shoulder also extremely goes brr here, casey low key a teensy bit weird about valentino's injuries? his thing after the 2010 leg break where he goes 'why's everyone making such a big deal about this other people break their limbs too' and then after 2011 jerez immediately asking whether valentino's shoulder is okay in just a very obviously passive aggressive way. literally he opens with that, valentino isn't using it as an excuse or anything, for some reason it's already on casey's mind and I would politely contest it was out of genuine concern for valentino's wellbeing!! it's just kinda? I'm so compelled by it? I suppose it is kinda about how valentino's suffering gets taken more seriously than his own? how those absences are received differently by the motogp world? idk I find this fun because casey does know this is one thing valentino can't really be blamed for himself, so it just slips out a bit? but yeah, casey + valentino's injuries, nobody's talking about it but I sure will, let casey get weird and mean and a teensy bit sadistic about valentino's injuries in an artistic manner.) crucially I like animation as a medium here because I think it's easier to lean into surrealism when you don't have to hand hold the audience so much through the suspension of realism, also there's just some imagery you can do in cooler ways through animation where in live action it may just look. weird. (I think you can also do one of those things where you have a live action film with only those specific bits animated but also... why? it just feels like in live action you need more 'justifications' for things, like am I saying casey is having some weird hallucinations and is losing his mind? no I just want to have weird vision sequences ffs.) the colour stuff!! valentino/casey is big on the colour coding as a rivalry, to the extent casey is even, y'know, drawing attention to it in the literal text!! yellow and red are banger colours, valentino is big on imagery himself with all his sun + moon motifs, it's kind of all there to make the easy next step to kinda zany surreal imagery. ritualistic stabbing works better in animation, you can kinda get the blood to like. drip down and overwhelm the yellow illness that's slithered out across the bike
and. AND of course what this entire set up allows you to do is.... give them an opportunity to talk. they can't talk in real life! casey CAN'T give him his real thoughts on anything, and fundamentally valentino can't either. they're opponents. they're strangers who chat sometimes. it's not just that they aren't friends, it's that fundamentally they cannot be friends - because their ability to do their actual jobs depends on a certain level of professional distance. valentino of course does have a decent read on casey, and vice versa, because when you're figuring out how to defeat someone then (if you're valentino) you're looking to play the rider too. valentino's entire approach depends on focusing in on his rivals and attempting to throw them off, to make them unravel. he's watching casey closely!! the entire journey of casey's first three seasons in the premier class essentially becomes like, this god of their world focusing in on him. figuring him out. trying to gnaw away at him. obviously, animation also allows you to go big on the panopticon-y imagery which is kinda fundamental to their rivalry, because of their fundamentally oppositional stances to 'performing' for the ever present cameras where there IS a little bit of common ground in they have both struggled with it. but valentino isn't going to ever say that to casey! casey isn't going to open up to valentino! so if you give them,, you know, a different arena to express themselves, where casey actually has this external figure to talk to (as he's like, cutting him open I guess) whereas valentino actually is put in a position where he's allowed to respond, where he can taunt casey a little bit, where he can interrogate casey's approach and also the similarities between the two of them and how casey has been forced to become a little more like valentino to challenge him... because the thing is, right, valentino is so big on message discipline with his rivals and has completely stopped talking about that rivalry post mid 2013 that, first of all, you have this complete imbalance in who's been telling this story for the past decade, but second of all you kinda don't have a sense of what valentino would respond? idk!! I think this is mainly fun as a thought exercise for me specifically but also I do think it's kinda, digging into some of the bits that make this narratively work as a rivalry, how valentino in this rivalry is actually just kinda... removed. like he's not really emotional about it!! at most he's a bit bitchy, but even that just feels about The Game. it's the most extreme in this regard followed by jorge - but with valentino's other feuds you kinda... see a bit more an unguarded moment, see something a little more real there. the casey rivalry feels so uncomfortable precisely because valentino is a little... inhuman in this one. I mean, if you want to have valentino as some kind of cross between a deity and a monster in any of his feuds, this is the one. casey's just an obstacle to him. idk don't you think casey kinda wants to chain valentino down and stab him and make him see casey a little more... well, I think he should want it and I think it'd be fun to see and get them to talk to each other. ugh and also all the implications of making the faith vs non-believer elements more literal... casey the heretic!!!
there's some obvious stuff here you'd have to figure out, like 'how do you make this work as a narrative even to people who aren't familiar with casey stoner at all' and 'who the fuck do you think the target audience is here' and 'you do know this is not the kind of thing that would ever be made, right, go back to the casey stoner sports biopic like a sane person' but!! I do think it's material you can make work if you're just,,, efficient and smart in how you're actually telling the 'real life' version of the rivalry. also in my head this is. idk. an animated limited series not a film, which then brings in other stuff like 'episodic structure' because I'm fundamentally opposed to tv shows that think they're films. and look, I'm not going to write an entire film script treatment here, I just think a good writer can figure this stuff out. blood on the ducati is the framing device for everything else, simple. lots of animated floating eyes I reckon, first casey is watching valentino and then valentino is watching casey and the whole world is watching them... and it does bleed into real life just a little, where you're wondering whether casey is actually imagining/dreaming this stuff or valentino is or if they both know it somehow... you can get away with more ambiguity in animation. anyway, if you do want more thoughts on this one specifically for whatever reason, let me know because this one I do actually have more on
also laguna 2008 is a bit tortoise and the hare coded if you really think about it
[end of gore]
so. on to jorge. hm. the thing about jorge is that he was kinda writing a coming of age film in his own head, so like - yes, that's what you do go for? you can play it straight and follow how jorge has cast his rivals, or you can pin the whole narrative on the fact that jorge has cast them - the kinda artificiality of the narrative, the way jorge is this storyteller who isn't being recognised as much as he thinks he should be, isnt adequately appreciated. the way there's this three way discourse between what jorge thinks the story is and what the public thinks the story is and actual. you know. reality. I think this is a bit more light-hearted, like you know how the best stories about teenagers take their emotions seriously but also let them be kinda silly? because young people are silly! jorge was silly! he's got a lot of CHARM because he's so cocky and naive and full on and intense and awkward and kinda off-putting and tactless and a bit all over the place and so painfully, painfully young, like he's a good protagonist because that's a KID. but also, obviously there's also a lot of extremely not light-hearted bits of his story - everything about his father, his manager... idk this one's another one where, I don't just want to make it a generic sports biopic, and I'm trying to figure out the clear narrative arc here? I mean, you can point to the end of 2010 and really lean into him choosing victory on-track over popularity off it. the problem with 2010 is that it does not work as a dramatic season, yeah sure with the magic of biopics you can hack at it to shit but also. idk. what are we getting out of it. I think for narrative purposes you want to maybe narrow in, and end it at the end of 2008, with the switching of the numbers this kind of moment of emancipation? but also! this feels like we're straying a bit too far away from the fun sports elements and I don't want to REALLY suggest all the ways in which you could mine jorge's personal trauma in a jokey tumblr post, so I'm gonna move on from this one
the problem is 2015 just straight up doesn't work as a jorge-centric narrative, except in a very kinda comic way that leans into how absurd his role in that season was. 2012 as a season is a bit... y'know, it's fine. okay it's mostly terrible, but that's fine too. but it doesn't have a great narrative hook. which kinda leads you to the problem that I do think the valentino rivalry is more... juicy from jorge's pov, because for valentino, jorge is just kinda? an obstacle? idk he's more normal about it, it's just his job to destroy the guy, you know how it is. but also 2009 does work better narratively from valentino's pov, like it's the build up to catalunya specifically you can dramaticise... idk though, I do love catalunya but my heart isn't really in this exercise because I think valentino isn't really being... challenged here? it's a title fight where he's fundamentally using a set of tools he's already perfected, to beat a guy he doesn't really give a shit about. when the italian press is down on him pre catalunya, it doesn't spark any genuine self-doubt - it's just a handy source of extra motivation. there's no epic highs or lows that season, not real ones. and yes I know I was talking about making valentino who gets stabbed repeatedly to cover up an infection a moment ago, but that reflected real EMOTIONAL truths!! I'm committed to thematic fidelity more than I am to literal fidelity
genuinely I think the best way to tackle jorge is with the jorge/dani parallel journeys... what, film? tv show? maybe show actually - you don't have one coherent narrative Statement per se but you're constantly charting those journeys in reference to each other, really rooting it in their respective points of views, no neutral detached cinematic language like I want everything to be very much written to be from their eyes!! going from one to the other and back again. and you're charting these different journeys, right, and how they both captured different flavours of like... emotional successes and failures. I think it's actually about failure, yeah, about having to accept there's something you can't have and might never be able to get - whether that's universal love or a premier class title or whatever - but Actually, that might not be the end of the world. and during this process, they go from being enemies to tentative friends!! guys who realise they can maybe actually understand each other better than they thought!! this real moment of interpersonal connection. you have all these media narratives and the managers and so on and the fact they're competitors as these built in reasons why they've just been pitted against each other from the start... but y'know, again, it is also just a bit about maturing, about being able to set that aside, about making your peace with defeat and failure as an element of growing up. you can't win everything, maybe there's something you really really really want and you're just not going to get it, but at the end of the day it's kinda... yeah. self-acceptance. idk this is the nice one
so with marc you can go several different ways here I guess, and again he's also perfectly decent sports biopic material, probably second to casey in that category like yeah sure do the comeback story. but also, we do already have a very good self-produced documentary about what he thinks the narratives of his career are? idk this is also just a personal taste thing, I'll leave him to doing all the injury stuff himself, I don't have much to add there. we'll get to the obvious one in a second, but I was trying to figure out if there were other places I massively felt like you need the cinematic touch. and, again, the 2013 season is obviously very exciting!! but also, you have it covered in.,,,, multiple documentaries, I don't feel I have a take their either? his rivalries with dani and jorge aren't really substantive enough to sustain a bit of cinema. dovi... I mean, what are you saying there? what's the arc? I feel like if I tackled dovi, I'd go somewhere else and really go all in with the ducati stuff, and make it a bit more... you know, stark, stripped back, basically just the emotional component of how much he gave to that project and how he managed to beat away one rival after the next and how it all ended up falling apart in a kind of anti-climactic way? he's also good sports biopic material, but in a way I think the marc rivalry is the bit of his story I have the least to say on. so eg, 2017 is a dramatic season, but he's also kinda fine after it? he always knew it was a long shot, he tried his best and he got really close and then he lost. you can't amadeus it because dovi isn't (fictional) salieri. basically, I think what I'm saying here is that dovi is too well-adjusted to feature in this post. though I'd totally watch a film about his 250cc seasons, like it's a bit annoying because HE is the underdog who loses both title fights to jorge, but it'd still be kinda fun idk. I wouldn't really know what to do with the material but if someone made the film I'd absolutely watch it
right then. the thing about sepang 2015 is... yeah, sure, of course you can do it, it already exists as a narrative but... yeah, what are you adding!! idk I always think when you're adapting something, you kinda need to have a reason for it? I mean, what are you doing that's not already there in the footage? idk maybe this is just a sign of having been a fan of this sport for one too many years but to me the idea of sepang 2015 can get a bit boring (or maybe just repetitive) where I need a new TAKE on it to really get into the idea of fictionalising it. like where's the auteur's touch y'know, what can I still add to this!! but it also needs to WORK for someone who is new to the story, which kinda just makes you want to tell the story straight.... y'know the story is strong enough and COMPLICATED enough to stand on its own and it IS good but I don't really have anything interesting to say beyond 'yeah sure that'e be neat'. I can't tell you why, but I also don't think the casey approach quite works here? the idea of providing a framing device with which valentino and marc can actually talk to each other... eh. don't like that. hm. okay wait actually I just turned it around in my head for... a while and I think I've got an idea to make the worst motorcycle racing film of all time. so, my central stupid film-making gimmick here is just. centring the fact we're completely reliant on a few guys and what they're telling us in making up our minds, and our removal from that story and the imperfection of their perceptions and so on. so I think you kinda make a point of... not actually showing the motorcycle racing? like, you always show it by showing other people watching it, you're showing the tv screen rather than the actual racing. even in the cinematic medium, you're centring the theatrical aspects, where you drill it down to just a few characters. valentino. marc. uccio. marc's fuck ass manager. maybe a crew chief or two. keep it limited though, all the others are kept at a distance - you're constantly focusing in on the same few characters. and very early on you basically just like... get them to fourth wall break by telling you, the viewer, with their actual words how racing works for them, what meaning they take out of it - and again it's this remove because we're never allowed to actually feel the racing for ourselves (no helmet cams), and it sets up that as the tragedy unfolds, again and again we're just hearing from them what happened. it's all zoomed in on how claustrophobic the entire situation is, like doing the race direction room after the sepang 2015 is perfect for that kind of thing, and crucially they're only ever addressing the audience because they can't address each other. but fourth wall breaks also obviously draw attention to artificiality! I realise they are very much like, lame gimmick central, but also are these men not inherently about lame gimmicks... idk it's basically the same story but at least it feels like a kinda interesting way of telling it. kinda trite, but cinema allows you to get to the point and let valentino actually play with the camera... so literally take it into his own hands and lead it around and tell the story from his point of view. and you can play with how they do both change in what stories they think they're telling, how they're constantly revising their own stories, how their stories completely clash with each other... like. make them literal narrators. that's my pitch
so. one interesting pattern that has come up with my approaches to these rivalries is that with the exception maybe of the 2015 stuff, I feel like I'm more naturally inclined to treat valentino as a narrative device and centre his rivals. a big part of this is that valentino is a fantastic narrative device. he's kinda. this looming presence in every narrative in this sport where you can just sort of use him as a sort of way to poke away at all these other riders. the monster everyone loves who you are trapped with. BOO!! he's gonna eat you! which is fun! but ALSO, crucially, several of these rivalries aren't that emotionally challenging for him!! again, with casey right, he wants to beat him, but he's not having a crisis of faith over losing to casey. he thinks casey is annoying, he wants to beat him because he wants to win. valentino is casey's foil, but casey is not valentino's. valentino makes for an excellent personal antagonist to casey, but the reverse just isn't true. casey isn't forcing valentino to reexamine his approach except 'ramping up the levels of being a dick on-track' - like, yes, that's a serious competitive challenge, but also valentino is very comfortable in his own skin in that rivalry. sure, you could have valentino have some kind of massive revelation about the casey rivalry, but like. he doesn't in canon. he changes his behaviour towards casey in pretty predictable ways depending on what the relationship demands from his perspective at any given time. there's nothing more there
now, obviously you know where I'm going here. there IS a rivalry where you can make the argument he changes as a result of it, there IS a rivalry that tips him over the line and makes him to do stuff he hadn't done before that, there IS a rivalry that happens to coincide with a period of his competitive life that challenges him both personally and professionally. now, look, I have already talked about the sete rivalry. you know what I think about this rivalry - and if you don't, I really already have told the story here and here and here and here and also here. I think this works perfectly well as a narrative in its own right, and it's one you can tell from either perspective... but you kinda need both. I think again you probably naturally lean towards starting it from sete's perspective and that first proper meeting (I mean, idk if it is their first actual meeting, but it's the logical obvious place you start this story) with sete giving valentino advice during his first 500cc test and valentino just, y'know, ignoring him and being a cocky shit and then crashing. so you get to see sete being kinda exasperated by the whole thing. also, obviously ibiza is like, a key framing device here, like it's the most obvious in-your-face way of tracking their relationship with each other. I don't actually know how often they partied there together, but it must have been at least twice and if the commentators are to be believed it must have included 2003. artistic license and you can add one or two more times, but mainly you want to focus in on 2003 onwards right. so you've got this 2002 one where it's, y'know, high point of their friendship and in the name of narrative efficiency, you establish here that sete is looking to make the honda switch. the emphasis is on how valentino has been winning everything but on the flip side you're getting the first insight into his discontent. and there's a bit of a vibe of, what could you possibly have to complain about? like you are winning so much? so it's late one night where they've had this slightly unguarded alcohol-fuelled moment of genuine vulnerability but in the end it's actually characterised by how... unsubstantial the link between them is, because they wouldn't talk about this kind of thing with each other and they might both be similar in some ways but also don't gettttttt each other. it means you can return there as a location in 2003, where you've just had sachsenring and valentino's dramatic loss but they're still partying together and it's like. obviously In The Air that not everything is quite right... their relationship is already gradually altered and twisted because you're introducing this element of actual stakes and competition (obviously in 2004 they do NOT spend that time together, as far as we know anyway, and you can show them being very much not together at ibiza as a very obvious Oooh Things Will Fall Apart and maybe already haveeee)
and I do think basically I've already said what I think the themes here are,,,, several times by this point, so I'm not going to belabour the point. I think all of this fundamentally works as a narrative with like, minimal massaging and rearranging of the elements for dramatic effect. it's all there already, everything from sete's arc with the [insert non-tasteless way of covering a real life tragedy that fundamentally alters the course of sete's career] and how that leads to sete becoming the challenger and how he does want to win and his eventual downfall. with valentino, you have the element of liberation and self-discovery and... well, growing into your own but also kinda having the narrative drawing attention to how 'growing into your own' can involve becoming a fully realised character who is essentially quite cruel? you have this kind of... build up, right, towards this moment of revelation, where you lay bare who these two people actually ARE at sepang 2004, and then again at jerez 2005. valentino has gone his own way, he has freed himself from the chains of honda, he has embraced individualism and the chance to define himself and his own legacy and stand on his own two feet and not rely on the strongest bike or all this stuff within honda where they chose him as their flag bearer, for better or for worse... like he comes to his own here! he takes the step from 'great rider' to 'legend' because he gets to this dramatic moment of stepping into the unknown, he takes this massive risk that could have cost him so much, and it ends up elevating him. but it also puts him under duress, and in that moment he reveals himself - whatever sete did or did not do at qatar 2004, EVEN IF sete did all that shit, what you are left with is valentino vowing to ruin this man. valentino uses sete to make himself 'better', to fuel himself as a competitor. valentino turns sete into a tool in his own story. and again, thematically you've got all this stuff about how sete was managing the image of the rivalry and how valentino took advantage of that - how sete needed it to remain respectful and valentino was completely willing to abandon that. like, you have two protagonists who really are similar in quite a few ways, who think they have this shared understanding with each other, but when it comes down to it? they end up being super painfully different
now I can go on about this and how to play it straight, basically, you can just do that rivalry and I think it'd be cool and fun and very easy to arrange in a good narrative way. BUT I've kind of already. done that. like I don't want to suggest a film that is basically a nicer version of my tumblr posts. so I want to take this in a slightly different direction, and I think what we need to consider with this rivalry is this: what if you made the curse literal? basically, what's always kinda charmed me about this rivalry is that the curse should not work and all the misfortune that befalls sete after that is so comical that it's kinda... what do you do with that? and the answer is you just lean all the way in. my pitch is this: what if valentino sells his soul to the devil?
so, you know faust, right, and you know the bit at the start of goethe's faust where god and mephistopheles are basically making a wager over how corruptible this one human is. and faust is like... he's kinda disillusioned, he feels that everything he's dedicated his life to in academia is fundamentally hollow, gets very close to committing suicide. and faust has gone a bit new age-y, gotten into all this mystical shit and he's got this pentagram that ends up preventing mephistopheles from leaving his presence in their first meeting... and basically what the devil can give him is like, the chance to attain some true pleasure, and for that faust is willing to bet everything - so if faust can just have that, then maybe eternal damnation is worth it. and look, I'm not going to summarise the entire plot of faust here and it does go off the wall a bit with all the gretchen stuff, but the point is you have this version of the devil who is fundamentally a cynic and is attempting to win an argument with god by making this human succumb to his own nihilism. and what faust basically does is like, abandon his normal life where he's trying to live by normal virtues and goes off on this journey with the devil. and there's this little moment where mephistopheles,,, pretends to be faust and takes on the role of an academic adviser (you know how it is) and seduces this random student away from the word of god and sends him down a wretched path, which ends with this bit:
like, a big part of faust's tragedy is supposed to be about... well, hubris, of the relationship of god to man, of no longer being afraid of the devil... and obviously, this is all framed very much in terms of religion, but at the end of the day it's also about, you know, having purpose - faust is living a life that no longer has any meaning to him, all of his knowledge and studies now no longer fill the void inside himself. his nihilism opens the door for mephistopheles, and is what makes him willing to accept the devil's terms. now, and I am so very sorry to goethe here, I think we have some material we can use here to explore the valentino/sete rivalry. obviously, you can't do a one-to-one, you need to get rid of some of like, the depression and all that - there were times when valentino was feeling 'a bit low' in 2003, but not 'faust thinking everything he'd done in his entire life was pointless' low, yeah? also, unless you want to do a real long view here and even then it can't really be justified, there obviously isn't really a 'tragedy' here from valentino's perspective. like, he wins! this isn't valentino's tragedy, it's sete's! I was being a bit facetious when I said he was 'selling his soul to the devil', and you can kinda parse mephistopheles' motivations in different ways depending on what flavour and what interpretation of him you're dealing with here. you don't 'damn' valentino, you essentially just turn him into a tool of the devil!
so, this is how this works out in my head: the devil works more broadly as the manifestation of competitive impulses, the kind of 'how far would you go to win' question as a bloke who shows up and literally talks to the characters about it (magic of cinema). he's also engaging with valentino feeling like his victories no longer having meaning, with being disconnected from honda and from the entire culture there and just feeling like he's going through the motions. there's this element of like... opening the door to what is essentially a journey of self-actualisation, bringing him closer to being a 'god' but also allowing him to fully come into his own and become himself. to win on his own terms. I reckon ibiza is my preferred narrative device where the devil talks both to sete and valentino there (separately), first literally as a mysterious stranger and then... maybe not? he's talking to them at times of their lives when they're not at ibiza and it's not happening there in the physical world and they both end up kinda having to confront they're dealing with some potentially malevolent supernatural entity. but the important elements of the devil is that a) he's not going to do anything the humans don't actually ask for themselves, and b) everyone knows he's following his own agenda and you should be careful of the requests you make of him. so it's kinda like... essentially, the backdrop of this rivalry unfolding is they're constantly being challenged to decide what lines they're willing to cross. which culminates at qatar... and maybe you do have sete making like. a teensy mistake. a teensy error in judgement, one that is both real and deliberate but he could not have known would get that reaction and instantly regrets. and valentino, who is I think inherently sceptical of the devil coming to offer to help him and maybe does crank out the pentagrams (remember, the whole point of faust is that he was too arrogant to be scared of the devil, or one of the points anyway), in a moment of fury does decide - no, actually. I will take that step. I will curse sete. now the thing is, dramatically this is a teensy bit tricky because when you're talking about being damned by the devil, usually the consequences are a bit more severe than 'not winning a motorcycle race again' (yes, you can get into how sete did also seem genuinely cursed after that, cf his ambulance/bus crash situation, but again we are flirting with being in poor taste in this tumblr post). but the thing is, right, you have to lean into the silliness here! qatar 2004 is inherently silly, a CURSE is inherently silly, like real life is already silly here! you have to engage with the people where they are, and for these athletes all this shit is so heightened that the emotions are full on. like, valentino would've sold that guy to the devil! and to him not winning another race is basically the worst thing that can happen
so, obviously, you get to do the actual curse stuff. curses are inherently campy fun, the devil doing curses is campy fun, getting valentino rossi to crank out the pentagrams is inherently campy fun. you get to play around with this, right, like you know that bit in the brno 2005 race commentary where the commentators are talking about how valentino might as well have a little radio to talk into sete's helmet to remind him of how sete had fucked up at the sachsenring. OBVIOUSLY obviously obviously it is just so... idk scrunchy and fun to have this idea of valentino becoming a malevolent enough force to literally do that.... like damn the commentators did kinda eat with that?? ughhhhhh do you ever think about sete leading the qatar 2005 race for most of the way???? like that's SO fucked up because you literally have articles from about the race going 'hey maybe sete can break his curse' and then the commentators are talking about curses having one year expiration dates but obviously they!! do not!!!!! there's one race where sete goes off track and the commentators are talking about how valentino will surely have smiled into his helmet like that's so fucked!! it's so fucked!! but idk I think basically you have all this creeping curse-y stuff and devil stuff and then you get this twist and then it just becomes misery zone for sete until you sort of. compress the timeline and have him retire without getting into what happened at the end of 2006. and valentino just relishing in all his very worst emotions. and you've got sete who was the better man after jerez 2005, who took the high ground again and again and again and it did NOTHING for him.... and then he's cursed and his career is finished and the devil has had his fun getting mixed in with mid noughties motogp. and now obviously this is inherently kinda dumb and corny and silly but it's the devil!! mephistopheles to me is allowed to get up to dumb shit sometimes, let him have some fun!! idk I like curses being literal idc
I think the obvious critique here is 'this doesn't really feel like it gets the message of faust'. which, yes, is true - and obviously the way narratives are structured, a satisfying resolution isn't 'well selling your soul kinda slaps, actually'. and my statement to respond to this argument is as follows:
this is essentially canonically what happened. valentino DID do something kinda evil and it DID work out 100% for him and it DID kinda slap. at least when you add in the devil, you're making explicit the bit where it is a little bit bad. also, is sports not inherently about selling your soul for success... the story of valentino and sete is essentially about how we are twisted by competition, how pretending that we don't wish ill to our opponents is inherently dishonest. it is about lifting a facade for something that is already inherently there in the souls of men. this is obviously inherently a deeply cynical stance, but this is also a deeply cynical story beyond all the fun battles and camp dramatics. the devil is a cynic and he is basically the point of view character of goethe's faust - he's the one who is positioned closest to the audience. sports is all about living out some of humanity's worst instincts in a relatively low stakes setting, which means we get a free pass to have fun with a deeply cynical story that goes 'maybe selling your soul to the devil is fine, actually'
do I stand by this stance? not really, but the whole fun of storytelling is that sometimes you can just be kinda mean. I think goethe would get it... you can tell which character he enjoyed writing the most
the OTHER way you can do this is centre everything around qatar 2004 as like,,, the mystery box element...... okay look I have now made two posts that go WAY too deep on the 'what really happened' element but I do loveeeeee the whole thing like I would just make a film about that very end of the season and we show it from all these different angles as different characters narrate what happened... like fuck all the riders I want to hear from whichever mechanic used the scooter... the gresini mechanic who gave evidence to race direction.... various honda higher ups the crew chiefs like this is jb vs juan martinez it's war!!! obviously you still have the same emotional/thematic hooks as the general rivalry does but idk I would have a LOT of fun figuring out how to structure that, I loveeee mysteries... maybe I'd write it as a mockumentary yeah..... this one's just fun
anyway. a lot of stuff going on in this post, huh! you can probably tell I didn't edit this much. my classic tell when I edit my tumblr posts is I remember how 'paragraphs' work. unfortunately all I have energy for are like. a bunch of rants about things in my brain. I think when tumblr tells you that you've reached the maximum number of characters per paragraph and you need to figure out where to put a break, it's probably a bad thing? on the whole, my stance is I don't have anything AGAINST mildly fictionalised versions, but for me I'm always more of a.... well I want to take advantage of the full specificity of the events as they happened or just come up with a completely original story. kind of person. I know this ask probably wasn't looking for my 'what if you bled out valentino as he's strung up above a red motorcycle' vision but yeah. with a lot of biopics I'm always a bit 'well you could just read about this couldn't you' like I need stuff to take some kind of a stance on the material it's using... all my stuff takes a stance. that's all I've got. obviously all these stances mean that basically none of these things could ever be made. and I know what I said above but if they called me up to write the casey stoner biopic script treatment, I would also do that. if you've actually read to this point, give me a shout - you're a real one and I love you
#would an insane person write this#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#spec tag#curse tag#heretic tag#morale tag
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I liked your version of the intended lucky charm! It would lead to a fun characterization of Marinette and a look into her creative (and stressed) mind, and also to funny reactions from other characters as you described. The only downside I could imagine is then there'd probably be a lot of viewers/fans who think Marinette is "stupid" for not creating the most obvious object and wish for her to be a more serious/efficient hero (not meant negatively, but I could very well imagine a kid shouting frustratingly at the screen why she created a spoon instead of a hook XD). With the luck-based lucky charm she now has an excuse for the randomness of the objects (but at the same time, since Reflekdoll, we also know that the Ladybug holder can influence the created object...)
(Post this ask was spawned from)
Thanks, I'm glad you like it! I never know how niche my ideas are. I just know they feel right to me and make me happy. As you said, I think it would enhance Marinette's characterization while also giving a chance for other characters to react in funny ways as this is supposed to be a comedy.
Making the Lucky Charm an object of the holder's choosing would also make room for setups where Marinette gets ideas from her team. I think she should always be the main problem solver and that needing help should be a rare occurrence, but it would be totally fair if there were situations where Marinette couldn't think of a solution or where her proposed solution was missing a key fact. In those setups, someone else can suggest ideas or otherwise help her figure out what they need. You can't really do that with the canon setup as solving the weird puzzles is Marinette's special power. You don't want to give that to anyone else or you risk making Marinette feel less special and - when it comes to story telling - every character should be special in a unique way.
I don't think there'd be much risk of viewers looking down on Marinette for making weird choices. Smart characters having odd ways of thinking is pretty standard across all kinds of genres. They could even use it as a way to highlight the value of neurodiversity, though I'm not sure I'd ever trust canon with sensitive topics like that.
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Im so happy that the hazbin tumblr niche found me! tumblr is my preferred platform, but as an artist twitter is oftentimes more lucrative. So I apologize for not being as active here as I could be. But thank you for following me.
Another reason why I’m more on twitter is the nsfw content. (This is me courageously coming out as a nsfw artist)
I see a lot of people here have very strong opinions on nsfw content with Alastor and I think having an opinion about that as an ace person is more than valid. But as an aroace spec person myself who mostly processes romance and sex through fanwork, I find myself increasingly frustrated with the fact that my peers (other aroace artists) and I are being accused of doing something *bad* by expressing ourselves and our sexuality through fanart with Alastor.
I understand the discomfort and I understand the boundary and I support that. But I want you to know that I’m not agreeing with the notion that we are responsible for ignorant views on aroace people. Instead of us drawing porn being considered a bad thing, we could use this opportunity to remind ourselves that the ace spectrum is very diverse and people have varying levels of feelings of discomfort or comfort with sex?
I even heard ace people make fun of the explanation *but ace people can have sex* and I personally don’t understand why we even bother to educate people properly if we can’t even agree on this within our own circle…? Why do we explain how sex and relationships /can/ work to allsexuals when we then police each other in a safer space such as fandom? It baffles me.
And I also had my own issues with my aroace spec identity for a long time, had ignorant views for a LONG time and have found some nsfw content with Alastor to be very healing and even empowering way of story telling for aroace people. (Especially @prince-liest fanfics!!!)
Look, fandom is a space where people express themselves and we all express ourselves differently and in a flawed way. I know that fandom is currently in a commercialization era where people legitimately make their income through fanwork, companies try to fandomify their franchises and thus there’s way more public attention on fans and what fans do, but that doesn’t mean that we have to compromise. Especially if we’re noncommercial. We are not responsible for other people’s perceptions when there’s enough educational content out there.
That being said, I obviously understand the frustration, I especially feel frustrated when I notice that a lot of fancontent turns Alastor allosexual because it’s more convenient for the ship. For me, even if I draw something that hints at romance or is straight up porn, I always pull from my own feelings and experiences of romance and sex to depict Alastor. Sure, that’s always going to be a bit ooc, but at least it still feels like him. So I get why people feel annoyed. But at the same time I don’t see the logic and necessity to make harsh accusations or judgements. Many years ago I’ve met people irl that I had harsh opinions about online and realized they are very different from how I perceived them based on their content. So now I’m trying to always keep that in mind, everyone is a person behind these accounts and everyone has different perceptions of media, life and interpersonal relationships. Sometimes aroace people themselves fall into the trap of depicting an ace character in an allo way, because those are the romance tropes we grew up with and all know and many people don’t even understand how it can work differently. It’s -simply put- a skill issue. I also think it’s unfair that people have to come out to justify themselves (which is why I came out even though I’m very uncomfortable with being out), you never know if the person doing the art is ace or not and you shouldn’t make assumptions.
I think the responsibility put upon fanartists is simply unfair and it is a double standard, because nobody talks this much shit about fanfics. It is not our fault that algorithms make it so that content gets pushed more that might not be the best representation. Keep the flawed social media systems in mind that show you stuff that isn’t for you in the first place.
This was a very long post that I only made to be very open and frank about the fact that I also draw nsfw content and don’t agree with this form of fandom policing. I respect boundaries and if people want to block me for my take on this, that’s valid.
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could you tell us some more about Chucky as he gets more independent?
As if he does get any more independent /hj
Chucky is a mama’s boy to the end and never really strays too far from her, even when he’s a grown man and everyone else his age has long ago flown the coop. You’ve heard of parents who have children to ensure there’s someone to take care of them when they’re old, well Chucky thinks that is his honest to god duty in life. Mama Dottie has never once expected this of Chucky and never made him feel that way. In fact, she would like it if he’d take care of her a little less so she can engage in, ahem, risky behavior like she did in her youth, without him fretting over her. Please, Chucky, find some friends your own age. You don’t need to spend your whole life with people 30+ years older than you. Mama will be just fine.
Still, Dottie does love her boy and is glad he still cares to be in her life. A number of her peers are very jealous of her as their children and grandchildren hardly visit at all, while she can always count on her child being there for her. Despite his emotional neediness, Chucky is very competent as a caretaker, able to keep a clean house, provide nutritious meals, help his aging mother stay on top of her health needs, and more without protest. He needs to work on being less smothering, but otherwise he would have been a great elder care professional. Whenever he accompanies his mother to the local senior events, he helps out with the other old folks and charms them with his skills in bingo and various board games. For what it’s worth, he can actively contribute to activities a lot more than when he was a kid observing the world in silence. He genuinely has fun in the old folks’ home and can get distracted enough to let his mom go off and have a good time with her friends and lovers separately from him.
Chucky finds something of a niche in his midlife, but when he’s a younger man it’s definitely a lot harder for him and Dottie. She’s not old enough to have many caretaking needs but is still far too old to be taking care of him, but he can’t stand the idea of moving too far away from her. The farthest he’ll go is an apartment in the same building as hers. Dottie has been a very independent soul her whole life with very vibrant platonic, romantic, and sexual relationships, but Chucky is lucky to so much as get through a talking stage successfully. Because of this, I doubt Dottie has any grandchildren lol
#AskKind#KindsDoodles#dottieverse#chucky dompler ii#dottie dompler ii#smiling friends#smiling friends oc
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Can you tell me about Subaru outbacks? They’re my favorite car :)
You know, I knew you were a wlw before I even checked.
See, as the new millennium was dawning, a Subaru sales increase wasn't, so they got a small advertising film to take a look and see what they could do. That advertising firm studied the Subaru buyer demographic and what did it turn out? Wlw were FOUR TIMES more likely to own Subarus than any other demographic. So, in a move so successful it's taught in marketing classes, they decided to double down on that niche.
And if you thought that was clear...
Now, I am pleased to report that Subaru also very heavily walked the walk, campaigning against the RFRA law, donating to LGBT causes, and overall straying from the double-faced nature of so much of the diversity-themed marketing it spearheaded.
If you want to see more ads that will make you question who let them go on print, here's a link. Fair warning: they get this overt.
Oh! Right! Telling you about the Outbacks. Uhhhhhh they have a boxer engine! Subaru is famous for its boxer engines, being one of the very few automakers to adopt them and having used them on most of their cars for a good half century now. Basically, in land vehicles, the cylinders in an engine can be laid out in three ways: there can be a single cylinder bank (inline engine), there can be two at an acute angle (thus 'V' engine), or the two banks can be diametrically opposed - this last one being the boxer engine.
The boxer engine has a couple of neat features, but mainly, it gives the car a much lower center of gravity because all the thick ass metal that makes up the engine block is much more compressed in height (as you can see even just from the diagram). This makes the car rock less when the weight is transferred left and right which gives it a better handling because the tires have less rocking around to fight against to point the car where you want it to go.
Fun fact: the other manufacturer famous for boxer engines? Porsche! Because early Porsches were Beetle-based and the Beetle used a boxer engine, and they never saw a reason to move away from the Beetle's core layout... and basic shape. Yes, the car world has lots of fun with that.
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Hi, I'm always very impressed by your world building skills, even in shorter stories! Do you have any advice for aspiring writers on how to build their fantasy world?
So i drafted a response to this in between working just far too much and then my computer crashed and i lost it. Then i was even busier so i never got around to writing it again but i am making some time this weekend, so worldbuilding post - take 2
My main, high level worldbuilding tips are:
Rule of Cool: worldbuild things you think are fun and interesting. not only is that the best way to get ideas you like and are motivated to write about, but other people will also think they're interesting too. have fun with it.
Iceberg theory: know more about the world than ever makes it into the story. people can sense when worldbuilding is shallow, so even if they never see the true depths of the world they can often sense it's there. plus if u know the whole picture, everything the readers do see will seem more coherent
Integration: i heavily integrate the world i'm building into the story i'm telling--so dig into the plot and characters and make sure that the world and the story serve each other well. your world is there to contribute to the story so make sure its fulfilling that purpose
For more specifics about how i personally world build and for some examples from my stories of the above guidelines, see below.
So firstly, i love worldbuilding. i just think its a ton of fun and could easily spend hours just thinking about worlds in my head. (i mean what else is there to do when ur commuting to work, amiright?) i think that does make it easier for me to take the time to do it right and makes the world come through more vividly in my writing. it can get annoying or tedious or be more challenging at times, but since i like it/find world building interesting, i'm more willing to put in the time and effort to whip it into shape and i get less frustrated with that part of the process in general.
i'm also always thinking about world building to some degree in the back of my mind. picking up interesting information, facts, snatches of cool ideas or images or whatever. then i throw all that in like a junk drawer in my brain so when i sit down to more officially write or flesh out a world, i already have spare parts at my finger tips to use or drawn on.
Reading and consuming other art and worlds also makes it easier to make your own, just lik reading is a key part of writing practice. i don't just mean fiction, but just anything about the actual world makes it much easier to make up your own--that can manifest as awe at the fireflies that actually exist or spite that dragons dont. Whether that's random youtube video essays about the history of musicals or drinks or fashion to books and articles and documentaries or just my friend's niche interests (or their regular jobs). i'm always taking worldbuilding notes in the back of my mind.
For a more writing specific example, i read this short guide '50 Ways to Kill a Mermaid' (its locked for AO3 so u hav to sign in to read it) and it was super fun and cool to read that info from a writer who had studied marine biology. then when i was fleshing out Don't Shoot the Messenger a year later, the problem of Satrasi being a sea demon in a fresh water pool and bloating came to my mind because i'd stored that tidbit from the article away for later use.
My personal method for worldbuilding and plot outlining is sort a brainstorming/Q&A i have with myself (i hope this makes sense when i'm done writing this all out lol).
I've mentioned this before but the prompt that inspired Dale was: "You’re pretty sure your boyfriend was replaced by an eldritch being that can barely emulate being human. Weirdly, you enjoy a better relationship with them than your actual boyfriend."
So when that idea grabbed me, i started brainstorming about the world and asking myself questions. Why is the reader with the boyfriend if they don't really like them? What would make someone stay in a relationship like that? Do i want to make this a dark story? And i did not, i wanted it to be fun, so the arranged marriage angle came to mind. And if that's the premise then when is the story? is this our 'past' or another world entirely? diff world means more freedom so i automatically leaned in that direction.
Can the reader tell the 'boyfriend' has been replaced? Are demons a thing people know about? does the reader know that's an option? which is more fun? if the reader is worried about Dale getting caught, that's more room for hijinks so then yes, demons are known, but not common otherwise too many people would notice.
So my plot and worldbuilding are evolving in tandem and informing each other, based on the type of story i want to tell and how the characters i have in mind will react etc.
i run through a lot of ideas and turn them over in my head--trying out diff pieces to see if they fit--and am always willing to drop an idea or save it for another story if i don't think its working for the current one
For iceberg theory, i mentioned above for Dale would be the religions in that world. When i decided to introduce a priest like character (for discovery danger) i knew i needed to focus more on the religions than i previously had noted. the majority of what i came up with isn't int he story, but i think the fact that i know it helps me write when did end up in there, helped make it consistent, and means i can more easily work in allusions to it without having to work so hard those singular times.
For example, i'd decided to call the demon realm "the Depths" early on, which to me already invokes deep water and darkness, so i followed that through to sort height and air and light as being perceived more positively. fire and light are important symbols in this world and they primarily burn their dead--to bury someone below ground would be seen as almost condemning them and someone drowning is also seen as like, not good for their soul because what if it is 'pulled down' rather than 'ascending'. some of this was alluded to in the chapter, but most of it is not. this also helped me come up with the various "by the light" "dawn's ire" and other similar little 'religious' phrases and exclamations different characters use at times.
Meanwhile, in Sacrifice, the people living their are relatively non-religious--thats why they both don't pray to any other deities and it takes 5 years of problems to even bother trying an old god. it's not sacrilege because they're desperate people trying a long shot, not violating or abandoning a different belief. because i wanted the reader's main problem with it all to just be that they didn't think it work.
And why is she a translator? because i wanted to use the idea from that one post that goes around about how ridiculous it is in movies when their translated prophecies rhyme in english. why are they arguing about the translation? because its a dead language so no one really speaks it, that means the people who came up with it were here a century ago or longer. why aren't they here anymore? nomadic so they left and ended up staying away because of a natural disaster elsewhere. why is this town here now? a particular export/resource in this area became valuable enough for people to try to live here. the fact that its a lumber town due to some rare wood native to the area doesn't come up in the story, but i know it and i think that i know that about the town helps it feel more real, makes it easier for me to reach for new details when i need them
and going back to anything can be inspiration, let's talk about the doorlock in the very beginning of Finally Woken. its literally just a magical keypad/number pad but with different colored tiles instead of numbers because i wanted the reader to be able to get in, but i felt it didnt make sense for them to hav a physical key. and i thought it would look cool in Heshi's door and it went well with the fact that he's a glassblower . also, why is Heshi a glassblower? because i frickin' lov blown glass - i just think its so cool and pretty. that helped lead into the sort of artisan economy feel that world has.
Each of these stories has an outline and notes doc at a minimum. the notes doc is where i throw lik pics, inspiration posts, random worldbuilding ideas etc. only much shorter stories or stories that are heavily based in 'modern' world don't hav extensive random notes.
my Dale folder has subfolders for characters and the setting, as well as random worldbuilding files such as "demon summoning/magic" "spiritual belief and org" "fashion - feminine" and so on. Even excluding the plot outline and chapter notes (and not counting pics) i've got like, over 4k of random notes saved. dale is the one i hav the most of that for, but all my fics have some little section with stuff like that jotted down
in the end, i think the best way to sum up all that is with my three original rules of: put stuff u think is cool in your world, known more than you tell to help everything fit together and seem deep, and build your world around your plot and characters because they should all be working together to tell the story you want to tell.
honestly, i could ramble about worldbuilding all day so if anyone has any questions or wants more examples, just let me know ^^
#asks#writing asks#story asks#man did i apparently really want to talk about anything that isn't work or what?#this is why 'rambling' is in my other tumblr username#worldbuilding#fantasy world building#world building#i really do enjoy world building a lot#writing#i rly hope this made some sense#sorry for the delay in answering#i'm still kinda salty my original answer got eaten by my computer#look sometimes ur worldbuilding is because you learned a lot about operetta in a documentary#sometimes its because the idea of a secret corset busk knife is cool#ur guess as to what's gonna show up in dale next#but one of them will and yes that is a threat
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MOST LIKELY TO TAG GAME
Thanks @the-golden-comet @thatuselesshuman and @willtheweaver
I took a break for a day, and got another, so also thanks to @gioiaalbanoart
for the tag! This game is fun, you answer a series of “ who’s most likely to “ questions for your characters. I have 9 to go through, so let’s hop into to it
If you want to do this, your questions are:
1. Most likely to crush on their villain/enemy
2. Most likely to skip breakfast
3. Most likely to have a niche obsession
Question from @willtheweaver
1. Most likely to embarrass their friends in public
Oooo this one is hard, but I’d say Raven, especially when he’s drunk
2. Most likely to get drunk/hungover
Raven, again. He’s a bit strong on the alcohol
3. Most likely to get kicked out of summer cap
Most of my characters are above the age, so I’ll say this is when they were in their adolescence. Ryder or Samaueal would be my pick here
This set of tags is from @the-golden-comet
4. Most likely to burn something while cooking?
Lars, he’s not the greatest chef, and he’d probably try ( and fail ) to use his fire to help.
5. Most likely to stop a robbery if they witness it taking place?
I’m torn between Lars and Salazar here, mainly because their reasons would be entirely different. I’ll say Salazar though, he’d do it every time without fail
6. Most likely to not tell someone they are sick/need help untill absolutely needed
Hart 100%. Hart would not tell ANYONE
The next set of questions is from
@thatuselesshuman ( they gave me two posts to work with, so we’ll do both )
7. Most likely to get lost in a crowd?
I think Astera would get lost really easily, Asim would probably do his best to stop it though
8. Most likely to disappear, never to be seen again?
Raixen, he’s done it twice. Hart could also get away with it in an instant if he wanted to
9. Most likely to have a secret squishmallow collection
Uhhh let’s see, most of the people who would have one ( Lyra or Astera ) wouldn’t hide it. I guess I’ll say Maximus, who is the one council member I think I haven’t mentioned yet.
10. Most likely to get arrested?
I think Ryder. He is weak as a criminal, and doesn’t have the power or connections to make up for that
11. Most likely to be sentenced to death?
If he ever got caught, Samaueal. He’s THE worst
12. Most likely to break out of prison?
I have multiple characters who HAVE done this, so I’ll say currently unnamed souls collide protag 1, Ryder, and he hasn’t done it, but he would get away with it, Hart
Finally, we have the questions from @gioiaalbanoart
13. Most likely to steal something they need in the moment?
Res would, he knows how to play to the streets, and if he has to steal something he will
14. Most likely to start a fight?
To avoid saying Samaueal again, I’ll pick Nelios here. He’s a prickly person, and he can get very confrontational
15. Most likely to do something they’re gonna regret later?
Cadin.
And I wanna add one bonus one I saw someone else answer because I felt like it was a fun fact
16. Most likely to be in a relationship for a week or less?
Salazar. Bro is aro/ace as fuck and his ass does NOT know. So I think he’d try once or twice, but it would either be broken off as a result of him being a terrible person, or because of the previously mentioned aromaticness.
Annnd that’s all. That was a long one, if you read it all, I hope you enjoyed
Tag list:
@thatuselesshuman @ddgraywrites @jjoneswriting @revenantlore @aintgonnatakethis @yourpenpaldee @illarian-rambling @autism-purgatory @the-letterbox-archives @theverumproject @gioiaalbanoart @noxxytocin @joseph-hooser @mk-writes-stuff @yrndrgn @wyked-ao3
#writers on tumblr#writing#writing on tumblr#writeblr#writing community#writerscommunity#howourworldended#souls collide#fantasy#howe#I aint tagging all the characters here oof#tag game#open tab#aromantic#aroace
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Bad day for nosy people who need to know what old fandom is 👀👀
lmao, i’m trying to talk myself out of it so that i don’t turn my current WIP list upside down on itself but. 🥹 i fear it has very powerful claws. 🦞 i’ve been mulling over like, why it ([Old Fandom]) is so attractive to me right now and i think it’s a combination of a few things!! like, one is the fact that i never originally left it by choice—real life kinda forced me away from my hobbies, and by the time i could circle back again, the fandom had died (i find it really interesting that so many modern fandoms don’t have staying power, but that’s a different discussion) and i was interested in different things. but now it’s seeing a revival and i’m remembering how much i loved it and how i never really… got closure for it, LOL, as silly as that sounds. 🥹 i never finished any of my ideas. 🥺 i went back into my old account actually, like a couple of weeks ago, and went through my fic drafts i had at the time and it—idk. i guess it just made me nostalgic. 🥹 it’s different, tonally, to what we do here in the bnha/x reader niche!! and it makes me itchy. 🥹😩 god!! so itchy. i wanna dig my fingers into it and move things around. dig it up from the garden. perform necromancy on the lover that doesn’t even know they’re dead, and blinks and finds themselves sitting in the same old kitchen with a cup of coffee in their hand. 🥹🥹🥹 i’m better equipped now—i know how to keep myself interested in long-term projects, how to finish them and, most importantly, what i like.
there’s a lot of stuff i like to write that i just don’t, here in our niche. either because it doesn’t fit in with the bnha world or just doesn’t like… suit the x reader POV. and that’s on me LOL, a better (or maybe more determined) writer could make all those things work, but part of what i like about bnha and x reader and [old fandom] is that they’re distinct—they all feel different. i wrote a lot before i got here!! i wrote so much. i wrote so much that i like, kinda burnt myself out on it LMAOO. there were tropes i liked and settings and tricks i used all the time that after a while they got boring to me. 🥹 and now after a million years of doing something different, i’ve realised—oh. i really liked all that. 🥹 i really like it, still.
idk!! idk. part of not naming the fandom is also because i haven’t decided if i wanna jump back in or not lmao. do i do it, knowing it’ll slow everything up even more? we tell ourselves all the time here in fandom circles that it’s just fanfic/fanart! you’re here to have fun! if it gets hard or boring or you wanna try something new—drop it! do it! you don’t owe anybody anything!! which is all very true yes sure. except i, me, mermie, want to finish things. i want the satisfaction of finishing the IAL series. im actually very proud of the fics, and while i know i will finish shouto’s (barring being kidnapped by pirates or aliens or death himself ig 💀), i also know im a slow writer, and that letting myself deviate off path into a completely different fandom will make me slower. 🥹 so idk. i guess ive just been ruminating on fiddly details like that LOL. also i don’t have a solid plot in mind yet (even tho i have a general gist of what i want) so that’s also probably the main leash rn LMAOOO. tbh if i get one im going in swinging, fist first, so let’s all hope that i remain idealess on that front lest the demons take me. 🥹🙏🏽
#ofmermaidstories-asks#sorry anon—i used ur ask as a chance to talk about this bc ive been dying to 😩😭#i cannot emphasise how much this is getting to me LMAOOO#what’s the lyric?#just know that if you hide—it doesn’t go away 🎶
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I’ll be with you on Every Step
Comission made by my lovely @marycecilyy
Cove Holden x reader
Word count : 1,611
Theme : we got angst, we got fluff
Special mention to Kit - Kit shall live on forever in your writings Ceci 💙
It was your birthday. You had invited your closest friends to your apartment in a small celebration. You didn't like huge parties, nor had the means to throw one at the moment.
You and Cove were going through tough times. It had been a while since you last published a book, now you were facing a huge creative block, and couldn't even finish the first draft of your next novel.. Cove’s work had been compensating the down of income on your end but his salary wasn’t large enough to keep you from worrying about paying your bills. Not to mention your dog, Kit, was recovering from a surgery (which had taken a huge portion of your savings) and still needed a lot of care.
Because of that. you and your boyfriend hadn’t been able to travel back to your hometown for your birthday, or even plan a bigger party than you had managed to throw.
It had been two hours since the guests started to arrive. You were talking to Lany, one of the closest friends you made since you moved there. They worked with Cove, but you were introduced to them very quickly and were inseparable ever since. Your boyfriend had his hand placed on your thigh, drawing circles on the fabric as you both listened to the story they were telling you.
The doorbell suddenly rang, which startled you since everyone who was invited had already arrived. You got up, but before getting to the door someone put a hand on your shoulder. It was Alex. You met her through the internet, you two were active in the writers niche and, after finding you lived in the same city, you started hanging out.
"It 's Erik. I forgot to tell you beforehand that I invited him. Sorry, I hope you won’t mind.”
In fact you did mind, but you wouldn’t tell her. Alex was sweet when she introduced Erik, her cousin, to you in hopes that he would meet new people. The only thing you knew about his recent divorce was that it devastated him and that he needed to get out of the house he used to live in with his wife. That was the reason Alex introduced him to you, getting him new friends and lifting his spirits. However there was an issue that she couldn’t have predicted (nor did she know of).
You were pretty sure that Erik was into you.
You didn’t mind at all talking to him, it was nice to have a new friend, but your gut told you that he’d rather be more than friends with you. You didn’t welcome his affection, nor did you reject him because he actually never did a proper advance. He was subtle. You didn’t even know if he wanted you to become aware of his crush on you as he knew you had a boyfriend.
That thought made you remember this will be the first time Erik meets Cove. Thank you Alex, you thought. You knew she hadn’t done it with bad intentions as she didn’t even know of what was going on. To her, she was inviting her cousin and your friend. She could have refrained from doing it? Yeah she could, but now it was already done.
With all of that in mind, you smiled politely at Alex and went to get the door. There was Erik. You felt glad when he, after hugging you and wishing you a happy birthday, went straight for the appetizers. At least you wouldn’t have to think about awkward conversation for a while.
An hour passed and you were enjoying yourself a lot. You played some card games with your friends, ate a lot of snacks and stayed close to Cove the entire night. You knew that, even if he wasn’t as close to all of them, he was happy to see you having fun. And he was enjoying the night as well, in his way. You could see it.
A few of the guests had already left when Erik went to talk to you.
“MC, I had a lot of fun tonight. I hope you didn’t mind that Alex invited me.”
You darted your eyes from him and fiddled with your hands. You had to find a change of subject quickly.
“Oh, what a fool I am, I haven’t introduced the two of you!” What a great idea, MC… “Cove, this is Erik, Alex’s cousin. Erik, this is Cove, my boyfriend.
You noticed how his eyes lost a bit of spark. Still, Erik smiled and greeted him. Then, he held between you a package that you didn’t even notice that was with him the whole time.
“Happy birthday, MC”
You weren’t expecting that, it was kind of him. Even if he knew that he was only there because Alex invited him, not you, he bought you a gift. It was very generous of him.
“Erik…! You didn’t have to. Really.”
The gift was a book. Not any book, actually, but a rare edition of your favorite novel. You had no idea how he managed to find it. There were few places who sold it and it was very expensive.
You didn’t know how to feel about that. Of course you were happy, but it was too expensive for a friend’s present.
“After all you’ve done to me, this is the least I can do. You helped me get through a tough time and never complained when I wanted to vent. You are a dear friend.”
Even if the word friend had a bittersweet tone as he said it, you felt he was being sincere. You hugged him tight and said goodbye to him.
After Erik and Alex left, you turned to Cove, who remained silent through most of the conversation. He looked strange, you noticed.
“It’s a really nice gift. Erik’s a good friend.”
He avoided your eyes and tried to walk away, but you stopped him beforehand, asking if he was alright.
“It’s fine, I just need some time alone.” He gave you a fake smile and disappeared into his bedroom. You felt uneasy. What was wrong with him? Your instinct told you to run to him, but you gave him the space he needed.
During the last hour of the party, you kept thinking about your last conversation. The obvious conclusion was: he was jealous. It was so hard to believe, though. You had never seen him jealous before. It was really weird.
But the thought that the last conversation had been, indeed, weird convinced you that that was it. There was no other explanation to his behavior.
As soon as the last guest left, you went to your bedroom. You had given him some time, now it was time to understand exactly what was going on.
Cove was sitting at the edge of the bed, petting Kit’s belly. She was clearly enjoying the caresses on her hairless abdomen (the surgery required no fur on that area). Kit looked at you immediately and left her post at the bed to come greet you. Your boyfriend, on the other hand, didn’t budge. You were becoming more upset each minute.
You sat beside him and took his hand. He didn’t retreat, on the contrary. Cove entwined his fingers with yours and brought your hand to his lips.
“I’m sorry, I overreacted.”
“To what, exactly? What happened?” When he didn’t answer, you continued “Did you get upset because of Erik?”
Cove chuckled.
“No, I’m not jealous if that’s what you’re asking. There’s no reason for that. I trust you. I just-” He made a pause. You stared at his eyes. “The book he gave you. It’s difficult to find. It’s expensive as well. But even so, I got it.”
Cove took a bag that was on his lap and handed you. As soon as you opened it, you saw it. Your favorite novel.
“Oh, dear…”
“I guess I felt bad because all of the effort I had didn’t matter. Erik’s wealthy, I’m sure it was no sacrifice for him to buy that. And I wish I didn’t envy him, but in some sort of way I do. And I feel even worse, because I don’t want that kind of feeling in me.”
You kissed his forehead, his nose, cheek, lips. You told him it was fine, that you understood what he was feeling and that it was valid. It broke your heart seeing him like that, but at least with your reassurance he felt better quickly.
“Thank you.”
“Thank you. Not only for the gift, which I loved, but also for the wonderful day you gave me today. It was special, really. My first birthday without my family around and you managed to fill me with joy during every second of it. Cove Holden, you’re the best boyfriend ever.”
He kissed you tenderly, holding your face with his hands. You turned your head, breathing him in. He smelt so good.
After giving you a few pecks to end the kiss, he kissed your neck with affection. “Why don’t you open the book?” He said with his lips still close to your skin.
You took the book and looked at the first page. There was something written but before you could read what it was you felt something drop on your lap.
A ring.
You gasped and looked at Cove, who had the brightest smile on his face. Tears instantly reached your eyes and fell from your face. He took the ring from your lap and held it between you.
“Mc, will you marry me?”
There was only one answer possible.
“Yes!”
Special tags to my lovelies : @dreamtydraw @otomes-and-tears @saladzz
#cove holden#cove holden x reader#fluff#angst#love#self insert#mention of friends#birthday#writing#comission
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Got Vincent headcanons to share with the class?
Your recent post is making me think about him lol
I love thinking about Vincent!!! He's one of my favorite guys to think about!!! Here's a few headcanons regarding one of my favorite little guys!!
* Vincent really likes spicy food. This was the truth before he became a shadow knight, and was only amplified afterwards. I'm serious you know that one friend who brags about eating a Carolina Reaper one time? That's a weaker version of Vincent, he will pick the spiciest pepper Ru'aun has to offer off the tree and eat it whole like it is nothing
* His favorite past time is fucking with Cadenza. She understands quite a bit about Shadow Knights and how odd they can be, but Vincent really turns it up to 11 and is just as weird as possible around her. He was weird as hell before he got raised into undeath, the necromancy only made him worse.
* I once described Vylad as the type of mf to talk to you about a niche subject for ten minutes only to admit that was all lies, and Vincent is very similar. He loves telling Cadenza random facts and she responds "Is that real??" And his response is usually a shrug and a "Could be." much to her chagrin.
* Vincent and Cadenza first met about two years after everyone disappeared, purely by chance as it were. Cadenza was in O'Khasis to inform the Lord there that her father had fallen and she would be taking his place. While she was there she stopped at a bar to drink her worries away, where she met Vincent. Vincent had actually met Lord Hayden once before, and while he didn't take a particular liking to him, something about Cadenza stood out
* In an attempt to get to know her he offered to buy her a few drinks. As a result, Cadenza drank him under the table and the two spilled secrets to each other over the empty bar almost the entire night.
* It was the most fun Vincent had in over a decade.
* Vincent is a musician, he's literally been alive for 100 years of course he's a musician. But not any ordinary musical instrument, no, this man has to be different. He has to be unique. He plays the Zither, this weird fucking string instrument I found on Wikipedia!
* Vincent could not teach you how to play this thing. He learned it so long ago that he is running purely on muscle memory whenever he whips out this bad boy
* He also doesn't really read sheet music anymore, mostly because it can be really hard to come by. He's much more of a play by ear kinda guy.
* Just as Cadenza used to dance to Laurance's songs, Vincent learned to play for Cadenza when she was getting too stressed and needed something to pull her away from work for a bit. A good song usually works.
* It was also Vincent that helped her with her first designs of combining fashion and armor
* Overall Vincent and Cadenza bounce ideas off of each other quite often, sometimes literally as they toss around balled up pieces of paper to one another on long nights, and would likely refer to one another as muses
* We fools would classify it best as queerplatonic besties
* This does mean people have thought they were dating, but that's never been the case
* Vincent is gay as hell
* There's kind of an otherworldliness that people can pick up from Vincent. Nothing distinct, nothing they can put a finger on, but the vibes are just... Not off, but a little to the left.
* I know these don't exist in Ru'aun, but if you pointed a Geiger counter at Vincent it would show him as slightly radioactive
That's the best thing I've written this entire post, cutting it off here because I will never write something more true to Vincent's being than that
#text post#minecraft diaries#mcd#mcd headcanons#mcd vincent#mcd cadenza#god I love him#i love him so much#i love this man#i love him sm#i adore him#i'm normal about him#ask answered#queued post#aphblr#aphverse#shadow knights
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