#very loooooong post

[padfootagain]

THE FIRST DRAFT IS DONE!!!!!!!!!!

I'm crying, at this point...

The first draft of the Prof!AU Love in Verses is officially done!!! All 44 chapters are complete!!!

The posting schedule will be posted next week!!!

[blushouyo]

little wip of a small comic i'm working on atm

[isayevilthing]

Ech hem ech hem. Scratchesrainbows... I write this letter to you from. My huouse.

I didn't stop! ^_^ and im a doc scratch fan aswell. Just for different reasons. I'm glad you've found stuff you like outside of the character and shoved them together. I honestly don't recall writing any of that stuff?, but I do apologize!! Go ham on your interests, I actually really like seeing your fanart around. You've got a good style and fun interpretation of Scratch !! {gazes sillyscratch...}

I'm still going to screenshot things but for different reasons. Just please, do know, I genuinely Do Not Care about what a fictional character does. And I just Really like scratch and Disliked your behavior at the time. Doesn't give me the right to make all those posts about you, and if you'd like, I could delete them?

Just because I say evil things about Scratch doesn't mean I'm a Scratch Hater. I'm glad you're a little more lax on the Scratch hater hating [What A Funny Bunch Of Words!] now. Hope you have a neato day!

[firehandlerfred]

Hello hi i got home at midnight because God has a favourite punching bag and it is yours truly. HOWEVER, this means I get to decompress by gushing about this damn episode.

a word of warning: I'm gonna be all over the place cause I'm gonna talk about what i remember as opposed to chronologically. Also spoilers for like, an 8 year old show ig.

SO, Critical role campaign one, episode 57: The Duskmeadow. One of, if not my favourite episode, and all without a single combat dice roll.

First and foremost: the voice acting. Good Lord above, I know they're professionals, but I am constantly blown away by the range and emotion they put into each sentence. From Viktor and the hat shopkeep, Gilmore Gilmore GILMORE. (smiling boy is forever in my repertoire). to the chill af suntree, to Vax in the temple of the Raven Queen, to keyleth and Vex talking to him after, to fucking S. Just phenomenal.

Second, Matthew Mercer, please write a book (idk if he has I'm still 8 years behind). His description of the Raven Queen temple was leagues above and beyond anything I could've ever imagined. I was fully prepared for it to be this creepy lair-esque location, with creaks and groans and spiderwebs and the like. But the way it was described, it felt like a warm place, if not slightly estranged. Imo it shows a beautiful side of death: it is not your friend, but it is warm, it's welcoming, it's beautiful and final and shining bright.

That said, the blood pool was fucking terrifying, especially when Matt started describing the liquid entering Vax's lungs and stuff.

And the Raven Queen herself was transcendent in my mind. A beautiful pale, lean and regal figure of finality and embrace. A deity who wishes to aid Man into his passage, and who adores her champions. The threads i could see in my mind's eye clear as day, and I almost got vertigo when Matt described the figure stretching down to infinity and holding Vax in the palm of her hand.

Now, Vax'hildan. Baby boy, reckless bastard, cunning rogue and awkward flirt Vax'hildan. He's been building up to this encounter for many episodes. He's been praying to his Goddess, following her rites and observing death and what comes after. His request to go to the temple was expected, and so was his refusal that his sister should come with

His relationship with Pike is so soothing to me: a man living in shadows most of his life, seeking help and advice from a holy woman, a literal beacon of light. (It also helps that Ashley is the best person ever and everyone loves her).

His performance this episode was spectacular too. His subdued demeanor and insistence that no, Vex'halia, anyone but you, please. His determination facing his matron, and subsequent relief/sadness at having cemented his place as her champion. The way he says "it is NOT what I wanted" hit me hard. Honestly this entire episode has some solid lines.

Percival. I've seen some people complain about his choice to go into the temple after Vax, and i mean, this is the same person who was barely heard for the first 30 episodes of the show. Who always makes way for the other players. To accuse him of trying to steal the spotlight was kinda insane to me.

Plus, i understand his choice to go into the temple. He's been surrounded by death for a while, his entire plan being to kill everyone involved in his family's murder then either off himself or have someone else do it. He's been confused and lost and quite frankly borderline suicidal with his explosion-prone devices and penchant to just. Run into the fray. So him going to the Goddess of Death is a logical course of action, especially for one like him and his mind.

I also Love how the description for the temple for his go around was somehow dimmer, colder, like he isn't welcome here. His discussion with the Raven Queen as well, her flat-out telling him he's broken, defective and wrong.

And then. Sam.Fucking.Reigel.

Anyone else, ANY other sentence would've fallen flat or barely got a chuckle, but this comedic genius going "i go to the temple" was so well timed that it instantly lifted the spirits of the table, and got them in gear for the next part. It is no exaggeration when people say Sam is one of the best players on that table.

Him and Travis both. The mechanical pencil breaking and the hat shop bit almost got me in trouble at work i was trying not to laugh out loud.

Also side note, but the way the players all look mesmerized whenever Matt describes something is so cute and nice. They love that man and his skills so much.

And finally, the Rakshasa plot twist at the end. The way Matt set it up so that Vax only has a silk robe on. The slow paced, weird sounding dialogue, the fucking voice transition??? when he goes full Rakshasa. The "can I insight check? - you would if you had the time" fucking CHILLS.

That's mostly it for me. If you reached this far, thank you for listening to my insane ramblings about an 8 year old, 1 in a 144 episodes of a show. This was super fun to write and honestly i might do it again for other episodes, if nothing else just to have my thoughts into writing somewhere. Love you all <3

Sorry I'm like, at episode 60 of c1 and I'm still foaming at the mouth at a certain episode.

Like, I'm at work so I'm NOT gonna type it now on my phone, but you best believe soon as I'm getting home I'm gonna diatribe that bitch

[kathaynesart]

Are you still going to post Replica updates on your Tumblr even after getting a Patreon?

YES! Do not worry. I will still be posting the main Replica story on here (the only things on my Patreon are early WIPs and little short stories that aren't integral to the main plot). So you will not be missing anything from the actual main story of Replica.

Sorry the latest update is just taking a long time because it's a loooooong update (20+ pages) and I am doing it while juggling work, holidays, birthdays, my trip, and three zines that I'm working on! After this update it will be back to much shorter, faster update schedule (I'm so excited to get back to a regular schedule).

As a treat, I will include a slightly spoilery sneak-peek under the cut below. I can't share too many frames sadly because most of them are uh... very big spoilers. This next update is going to be a DOOZY!

SNEAK PEEK UNDER THE CUT:

[ezgurple]

I love your TMNT (au?) so freaking much, and you're striking style only makes it better! 🤩

I don't think we've seen much of Casey, I wonder how he and the rest of the crew get along

they’re actually pretty chill with casey •_• mainly becuz casey and the turtles met a LOOOOOONG time ago when they were very very small. the turtles were casey’s only friendz for about 2 weekz! then stuff happened and the turtles had to stop seeing casey

i have a mini comic about it if u guyz wanna know more! i never shared it cuz i thought it was dumb but i’ll post it if u guys are REALLLY interested. anyway thankz for asking :) !

[obsidianpen]

to the anon who sent me the long thoughtful post about how to analyze AI and confirming what is most likely true, and to all the other anons who have sent me things being supportive, agreeing with me, etc., thank you, but I’m not going to post them. If you really truly want to say something please either submit non-anon or do it on your blog… or better yet, don’t. I completely get where you’re all coming from, and understand the appeal of having your thoughts posted on my blog in a way that doesn’t show your name, but I’m done thinking about this person and I think everyone else should be too.

instead, here is something we can all do that would be a much better use of time! Go read and comment on some very deserving, amazing works! Here are some - with the disclaimer that I have not read all of these in their entirety, someday I will, but I’ve at least read some and was instantly impressed:

Peremo !!!! Can’t say enough good things about this fic. Def read all of this one. It goes from 0 to 100 pretty quick near the end. A perfect Tom Riddle portrayal. Loved it. I would give this fic a million kudos if I could.

Wolfer - only read the first chapter, just now in fact, but damn, this is poetry right here. If the idea of reading a Western intrigues you, read this!

Altered State - just read a bit of this one last night, it is already promising to be a very dark yummy read. Also, a Voldemort who’s not young and unabashedly sexy but not a snake face, but is somewhere in between? Hot. Love to see it.

Warpaint - I read this one a loooooong time ago!!! Hermione has the diary. If memory serves it was very artistic, highly recommend if you want a Hogwarts story.

Sleep is the Cousin of Death - looking for some dark deranged smut? Can’t do better than Nekositting. Reader beware. The doves are real dead here.

and there are SO many more. ✨

[lukolashipper]

Well, boy has it been a loooooong evening.

A simple photo of Nic out to dinner with her friends gets posted and suddenly all the Jakola's come out and take it as confirmation of a relationship.

Since when is it not okay for Nicola to go to dinner with friends? Any time she steps out she is automatically shipped with her very close friend. It's frankly disgusting and ridiculous. Until she comes out and publicly confirms this relationship (which is never going to happen) I will continue to say they are just good friends, because I have not seen anything from them that would lead me to another conclusion.

To anyone who sees this picture of 4 friends eating a meal together and automatically thinks its a confirmation of a relationship, you need some help.

Have a great night. Until tomorrow, everyone.

[h0bg0blin-meat]

What hindu gods/deities are lgbt (I'm sorry if this is rude or ignorant I just wish to learn as I've heard some are)

Dw it's neither rude nor ignorant. Now before I start I do wanna say that almost all the queerness we see in Hindu mythology is highly subtextual most of the time, which is like pretty obvious cuz these were the ancient times. So this might lead to a varied number of interpretations, and I can only offer the same. But most of them are pretty convincingly queer, so let's get into it cuz why tf not. (This is gonna be a loooooong post so buckle up)

Vishnu

This fella is probably the most pan-coded deity in the entire pantheon. Extremely comfortable with both his masculine and feminine side, Vishnu can sometimes be considered one of the peak genderfluid icons out there. His avatar, Krishna, despite being referred to as the Parampurush (in other words the manliest man in the entire universe), his physical appearance (which is what is considered to be a very feminine body for a man today, i.e., slender and soft) breaks the stereotype of what masculine man should look like. There are paintings of him and Radha where I've stared for like a hot minute trying to figure out which one is Radha (mostly in grayscale cuz otherwise their complexions are a dead giveaway) and yet, he slays it like a badass.

Then we also have Mohini, the goddess of beauty probably the best seductress out there, and the only female avatar of Vishnu. Through her having a union (yk what they mean by that) with Shiva (AHEM subtext amirit), Vishnu gave birth to Ayyappa, and wouldja look at dat he has two dads, which was actually prophesized. Mohini in one of the versions of Mahabharata (not the original one) ALSO slept with Iravan (Arjun's son) the night before he was gonna offer himself as a sacrifice for the Kurukshetra war. Reason was that Iravan had a wish to get married and spend the night with his wife before dying, and wishing his wife would mourn for him after his death. So Krishna felt bad for him, turned himself into Mohini and married him. The next day she held her husband's body and mourned for him like any wife would. We can also go back to the time where he sported (make of that word what you will) with Arjuni (female version of Arjun) as well as the female version of Narad (for a year in the latter's case).

In short, we can see how chill Krishna is with his fluidity with sexuality and gender, so much so that it's hard to put a label on him sometimes, which is fine. But yes interpreting him as queer wouldn't necessarily be a preposterous claim after all.

Shiva

Tbh Shiva is also pretty queer-coded, given his union with Mohini (and yes he specifically ASKED Vishnu to turn into her and hence he KNEW it was his best friend after all), and him turning into a woman to join Krishna's leela that one time, which also denotes that he's pretty confident in his gender fluidity as well, to some extent. He also has a sort of female avatar, who's actually very underrated. I think it's called Shivani. Also no one can deny the tension between Shiva and Vishnu let's be real here. They even have a ship name- Harihar, PLUS that "Vishnu is in the heart of Shiva and Shiva is in the heart of Vishnu" line. Btw this was a joke, but now you know why they're one of the popular ships of Hindu mythology. I personally have very neutral stance to the kind of bond they share, whether you call it platonic or something else.

(Note that I personally do not consider Ardhanarishwar and Vaikunthakamalaja as any genderfluid thingy because I just see them as literal fusions of the two couples, but yes many consider these two fused versions of Parvati-Shiva and Lakshmi-Narayan respectively to be gender-nonconforming, or non-binary of some sort.)

Lakshmi

Why did I add her here? Because I have a feeling she might be bi, given the fact that her husband is also technically her wife, considering we take Mohini into account, who I'm pretty sure she loves just as much as she loves Vishnu. But again, that's just my take on it.

Agni

Now he's one of the more popular queer-coded Hindu gods, specifically known for his implied poly-esque relationship with his wife Svaha and Soma (the wind god). Now many sites on Google have claimed Soma to be his husband, but I am yet to find a scriptural evidence for that claim, so I suggest you to take their words with a grain of salt. But what IS true is that these two guys do share a pretty profound bond. There was also this one instance where Soma went to a mountain and Agni followed him. Then both of them at the top of that mountain, 'became one' (what does that mean? not sure but it sure as hell sounded romantic. anyways). Also Soma is considered the "seed" and Agni the "progenitor" hence releasing the "seed". Now again what does that mean? Idk but that's sus as hell for sure.

Plus, Agni is also very well-known to be the (oral) receptor of Shiva's (and sometimes Soma's but not sure about the second one) semen, which he then flung into Ganga cuz it was too hot to bear for him, and that's how Kartikeya/Murugan/Skanda (Shiva and Parvati's son and a God of war) was born. So yeah.

Mitra-Varuna

These two.... are another pair of popular queer-coded Hindu deities. They're almost always summoned and worshipped together, and you can say they have canonically.... well had a union, and good news is none of them became a woman for the deed. Their union is recorded in the Shatapatha Brahmana 2.4.4.19, where Mitra is said to have "implanted his seed in Varuna" (hmmm nothing homosexual going on here) during the waning moon. Many people consider this a metaphor for the cyclic nature of celestial phenomena so it's upto you to interpret it however you want.

Now they also give off that sunshine x grumpy vibe, with Mitra being the god of friendship, sun, daylight, dawn and stuff while Varuna is the god of the waters, moon, nighttime, dusk etc. Plus, the latter has anger issues but he has a bubbly Mitra (pun intended) to calm him down for dat :D.

They are also known for siring two sages, Agastya and Vasistha after they accidentally released and mixed their semen into a pot as a result of getting enchanted by Urvashi (one of the apsaras or celestial nymphs).

Budh and Ila

Budh is technically an AMAB non-binary (or intersex) deity (and technically the planet Mercury) born to Chandra (who's also synonymous to Soma most of the time) and Tara, to put it simply, and got cursed to be neither male nor female because Chandra had an affair with someone else's wife -_- (Tara was the wife of Brihaspati, or Jupiter, who was also the guru of the gods).

Ila is another genderfluid deity. Some versions of the myth says they were born a woman, some say they were born a man called Sudyumna, while some say they were born a woman, but since their parents wanted a son, Mitra-Varuna (who they preyed to) changed their gender and Sudyumna was born (but then there was some issue with the rituals, which led to the duo to turn him back to a woman, which is when they took the name of Ila. Ik, too much gendershifting going on, bear with me). Anyhoo they got this genderfluidity from Shiva's spell and every month they'd change sex from Sudyumna to Ila and back to Sudyumna and so on. Budh got enchanted by Ila and married her, and bore the Pururavas with her.

Later on, some versions say Ila permanently turned into a man with Parvati's boon. But personally interpreting, Budh was technically still married to Sudyumna so..... idk what happened to them afterwards tho. I hope they were still spouses...

[sagan-starstuff]

XF Meta: Scully's Medical Training Timeline

At the request of @randomfoggytiger, I wanted to do my damnedest to make Scully's education and training timeline make even a little sense. I'm a physician (specifically a specialist in adult infectious diseases), and it's fairly clear to me that CC and Co probably didn't actually talk to any doctors about how medical training works. Love my girl - I'm a Scully Effect kid, I don't think I'd be a doctor at all if it weren't for the inspiration of Dana Scully. But her timeline is...iffy at best.

Disclaimer: My medical school and post-med school training occurred from 2009-2018, Scully's occurred in the 1980's-90's. From what I can tell, the durations of many residencies and fellowships don't seem to have changed much, but I can't say that for certainty for all programs at all institutions. I am also from the US, so I cannot speak to medical training in other countries.

Our girl was born in 1964, and so unless she skipped a grade (which some schools would do if students were classified as "gifted" or otherwise exceptional, she would have graduated from high school at age 18 in 1982 and went straight to college. Let's assume she didn't skip a grade, for the sake of argument.

You have to have a Bachelor's degree to apply to medical school. These degrees typically take 4 years, though if someone arrives at college with credits from dual-enrollment high school classes or AP exam credits OR if they take summer classes some people can complete them in 3 years. I don't know what the availability of dual enrollment or AP classes was like in the early 80's (and like CC, I'm too lazy to do the research to find out), so we can assume that Scully graduated from college in 1986.

Medical school is 4 years long - no shortening this at that point in time, and even now in almost all cases. So that puts medical school graduation in 1990 IF she's following a traditional timeline and went straight from college to medical school.

Now, if someone is going to go into practice they have to do a residency in at least one of a variety of specialties (Internal Medicine, Pediatrics, Surgery, etc.) in order to be board certified and practice independently. There are very, very few job options in clinical medicine if you DON'T do a residency, so if you want to practice, you have to do it. Residencies can be anywhere from 3-5 years, depending on the specialty. You can also further subspecialize after a residency by doing one or more fellowships (typically 1-3 years depending on the fellowship) before sitting for your board certification exams and starting independent practice. For example - after medical school I did a 3-year residency in adult internal medicine, then a 2 year fellowship in adult infectious diseases to be eligible to sit for the boards and enter my specialty, so 5 years further training after medical school before I could get a job, get board certified, and practice.

Scully is a forensic pathologist. She would have had to do a 3 or 4 year pathology residency (both were options at the time) followed by a 1 year forensic pathology fellowship. You CANNOT perform autopsies right out of medical school, if you are going to be a forensic pathologist you HAVE to do this training. So, following a traditional timeline this puts her as having completed forensic pathology training in 1994 or 1995. Pilot starts March 7th, 1992, so this is loooooong after she's canonically already an FBI agent and teaching at the academy.

But our girl's a smart cookie, so let's take a little leeway with her timeline. Let's say she skipped a grade some time in K-12. This puts high school graduation in 1981. Let's say she ALSO graduates with a bunch of AP credit and does summer semesters and finishes her undergraduate degree in Physics in 3 years. This puts her as starting medical school in 1984, with graduation in 1988. She'd still need to do that pathology residency and forensic pathology fellowship - let's assume a 3 year residency, then 1 year fellowship, so she'd finish training in 1992.

Still doesn't fit.

Let's go totally off the rails here - we know Scully was recruited out of medical school to the FBI, so she didn't do a traditional residency at all - UNLESS the FBI has an internal forensic pathology residency. It would HAVE to be accelerated in some way - some programs combine residency and fellowship by giving less elective time and more focus to the fellowship content. It's not common but they exist. Let's say in theory the FBI has an accelerated forensic pathology residency that takes 3 years, in addition to the 20 weeks of the FBI academy training. This has her finishing residency AND FBI academy training some time in 1991.

This is the ONLY way she could have finished forensic pathology training AND the FBI academy with enough time to be a fully certified forensic pathologist and FBI agent with some time left to teach at the FBI academy before being assigned to the X-Files on March 7th, 1992.

I can suspend my disbelief enough to be on board with this. You'd have to be pretty damned special, which we know she is, to get recruited out of medical school by the FBI. Maybe they even developed the accelerated combined residency/fellowship just for her! She's Dana Katherine Motherf***ing Scully, people!

Now, IWTB is where things get REALLY unbelievable. (Disclaimer: I have not watched IWTB since seeing it in theaters in 2008. I'll get around to rewatching it someday soon. Probably with a bottle of wine. Not a glass. A bottle.)

Mulder and Scully go on the run in 2002. We don't know how long they were in the wind, but by 2008, she's been allowed to resume a career and is practicing at Our Lady of Sorrows. Clearly in pediatrics - but general pediatricians sure as hell don't do stem cell transplants, so she'd almost certainly have to be a pediatric oncologist. We aren't told what her specialty is specifically, but that's what she'd have to be to do a stem cell transplant.

(That scene in the OR isn't even what stem cell transplants LOOK LIKE but that's a rant for another day, back to my point.)

MEDICAL BOARDS DON'T JUST LET YOU CHANGE YOUR SPECIALTY FOR FUNSIES.

(Deep breaths. Serenity now. Ok, let's do this.)

Scully would have had to do an ENTIRELY NEW residency AND fellowship in order to practice as a pediatric oncologist. Pediatrics residency is 3 years long. Pediatric Hematology/Oncology fellowship is 3 years long. In order for this to be even remotely possible, she would have had to START residency in 2002 to finish fellowship by 2008 and start her job at Our Lady of Sorrows.

And she's a former FBI agent harboring a known felon, on the run from government officials and alien hybrids who want her and Mulder dead.

There is absolutely no way even the smallest, most hard-up pediatric residency program is going to accept her with that hanging over her head. I'm not going to get into all the details of how rigorous and stressful the post-medical school residency application and match process is, but even if she didn't apply until she KNEW it was safe to come out from underground, she'd still have to explain a multi-year gap in her resume/CV to the program directors. Multi-year gaps in career and training without a reasonable explanation like a medical issue, time off to care for an ailing family member, time off for research, time away in a different, legitimate career are NOT looked on kindly when applying for residency positions. She would have a HELL of a time getting into a totally different residency.

It could happen - if anyone could do it, she could. But there's absolutely no way there's enough time for her to complete that training by 2008.

"But sagan-starstuff, it's CC, it's X-Files, we know there was no show bible and no one but the fans gave a shit about continuity or things making sense, there's no logic just vibes"

I KNOW, OK. I KNOW. And I love this insane, beautiful masterpiece anyway. I love exploring the possibilities of how and when it all could have happened with my fellow insane Philes who work so hard to glean meaning and order from this perfect mess of a show.

But couldn't CC have talked to one (1) doctor about what medical training is like at some point between 1993 and 2018? Just one?

Anyway. Yeah. That's my meta. Scully's training timeline makes no goddamned sense. Compels me, though.

@randomfoggytiger, this is for you. Honorable mention to @precedex-files who I ranted about this with in messages a while back.

[in-uthenera-we-wait]

It's been a few days since I completed the Veilguard and I am going feral about the dynamics between Mythal, Solas and Lavellan...

It's just a bittersweet kind of pain when I think of them and I want to get my thoughts out before I am overwhelmed by them. Also, this post took way longer than expected to write!

Detailed deep-dive under the cut (to avoid spoilers)

Colour-coded because my brain is weird like that!

Also this is a loooooong post... you have been warned!

On Mythal:

It is clear right from the start (of when we discover the memories of the Dread Wolf) that Mythal is an integral part of who Solas was... Or should I say, who Fen'Harel was/is.

Solas, as a spirit had no desire to take a body and took one for the love of Mythal.

And when I say love, I do not see it as something purely romantic... It goes above and beyond that and not always in the right way.

She sought to mould him into someone she could use. She saw it as Benevolence (the attribute that her spirit is supposed to represent), but I think her purpose had been corrupted even then, even before Solas gets his body at her behest.

The reason I believe it's so is because, true Benevolence doesn't discriminate and denotes a desire to do good for others. Compassion is that desire enacted.

Mythal's benevolence was conditional. Her benevolence came at the cost of suffering for the Titans. So, there was a sliver of selfishness to her purpose. This isn't necessarily bad but this means that she is no longer truly what her Spirit was supposed to depict, not completely. And this sliver of selfishness is what permeates the entire relationship she has with Solas.

We, as the player, have only ever seen Mythal either through the very rosy lens of the Elvhen who worshipped her very much like the way Solas does, or through Flemeth. The latter is no longer the Mythal that Solas knew. She is a fragment of the original who has gained the wisdom and experience of millennia through the hosts she inhabited.

The truest depiction of what Mythal must really have been like is the fragment we encounter in the Crossroads. She honestly, isn't as likeable as Flemeth/Morrigan was/is.

She is openly haughty, expecting her petitioners to convince her of the dangers to the world outside, and sounds almost bitter that her most ardent devotee hasn't visited her once since she was killed and the remnant of her essence was extracted from the dagger to reside in the Crossroads. She faults Solas to an extent for her fate, and clearly doesn't hold him as beholden as he does her.

So, it felt weird to me that she would be so willing to release him from her service, even more so if you had to fight her for the fragment (as I had to).

The only way I can see her being moved to help convince Solas (especially if we fought her in her dragon form) is that she was observing the world outside the crossroads when she is in Rook's possession, the way Rook interacted with Solas, and even more so the way the Inquisitor speaks of her friend/vhenan.

On Solas:

Solas... the man, the myth, the legend! Where do I even begin to unravel the mess that he is!

Originally, a spirit of Wisdom, tied to Mythal in a way that has him put through the thumbscrews of War and Strife, so much so that I see his transformation into Pride as something like a callus that forms over skin that has been rubbed a few times too many.

His love for Mythal was the start of his doom, and right there, his purpose was changed from Wisdom. Because, wisdom would have remained a Spirit.

Now, the nature of that love is up for debate. Again, I don't see it as something that is purely romantic. Though, I think the way he feels for her is different from the way Mythal feels about him. There is more devotion on his side. He says that he will follow wherever she goes and takes on a physical form for her.

And then, slowly, one step after another, he strays away from the path of wisdom - crafting the Lyrium dagger, making the Titans tranquil, allowing the other Evanuris to claim godhood, letting Mythal persuade him to each of these steps, his regrets have her face.

Remember the following dialog he has with the Inquisitor after they drink from the Well of Sorrows? When he asks them how they will ensure the Inquisition doesn't fail, and when the following dialogue ensues...

Let me present you with evidence on how much he was hurt by that.

INQUISITOR: I trust my friends.

SOLAS: I know that mistake well enough to carve the angles of her face from memory.

We had already posited that the 'her' in the dialogue above was about Mythal. But back then, we had assumed it was because of the trust Mythal had in the evanuris that caused her death. What if it wasn't so? What if he was speaking of the trust HE had in HER?! He trusted Mythal to stand by him as he had stood by her. And she had failed him.

It could be that this is after her death, but something tells me this was before. Because Felassan's response to Mythal not joining them would be different if it was because she was dead.

So, we've established just how hung up he is about Mythal, because he has this vision of hers that might not even be true. He views her through the lens of adoration and worship that ends up putting her on a pedestal rather than view her as the flawed person she is. He could never be truly free unless he sets aside these feelings he has for her.

I also found it interesting that he has refused to visit the fragment of Mythal that was stuck to the dagger when she was killed. That fragment is the truest version of his friend as she was when she died. He refuses to acknowlege Flemeth and even Morrigan as Mythal.

Even in the end, it is this fragment of Mythal that he knows and remembers that releases him from her service. Because he wouldn't accept it from anyone else!

And with that established, let's move to the final part of this triptych.

The Inquisitor is a tricky one to analyse because they can be so many different things depending on the player. But for this essay, I will be focussing on Lavellan who romanced Solas and sought to change his heart.

On the Inquisitor:

She is everything that Solas believes is wrong with the veiled world his actions resulted in. A shadow of his people, tranquils with no connection to the Fade (especially true if Lavellan is not a mage). He also begins to believe that the anchor is what makes her who she is. That has to be the case, because any other explanation would make his future plans questionable!

But then, she walks into his life, curious and bright, kind and caring, asking him questions with an open heart! The first thing she does is assure him she would protect him from prosecution. She changes everything!

He tries to justify his feelings for her by assuming that the anchor has changed her. But nope! She shoots that down as well. She is truly herself, with or without the anchor. A rare and marvelous spirit.

Lavellan sees him for who he truly yearns to be seen as. Wisdom. She seeks to understand him and asks nothing in return. She is ready to help him whenever he asks for it, and even when he doesn't. She tells him he does not need to mourn alone, when his spirit friend passes!

His one true fear: Dying Alone... and she allays it by promising to be with him, no questions asked.

He almost decides to give it all up and stay with her... as just Solas. To be with the one true person who truly saw him beyond the cool and collected mask he wears. But he doesn't... In another world perhaps but not this one.

And so, he leaves her in the end, because his regrets are too much to be set aside so easily. He also sees bringing down the veil as an act of self-sacrifice, now more necessary than ever because this would mean She would live on happily in a world where his mistakes don't exist anymore. Also, he doesn't want her to see what he would become.

But she perseveres. Every time he pulls away, she reaches out. The parallels between the Solas/Mythal and Lavellan/Solas relationship is just *Chef's kiss*!

She represents Hope for me. And I'd say, she is true to her purpose that way. Even when things don't go the way she wishes it did, she still hopes. Her Hope springs eternal. And that is what saves her, Solas and the entirety of Thedas!

So, towards the end, her Hope burns bright against his Regret. But he is unable to see it until he sets his own regrets aside. And for that to happen, he needed Mythal to release him.

Mythal was his past. But Lavellan is his eternal future. It was up to him to move from one to the other.

Once he was free from that bondage, he could look towards Hope.

Only then could he truly see it... that she had seen him as he truly was, and she loved him... that she loves him still.

In the end, her love did endure, and how!

'Var lath vir Suledin' indeed!

[yeetmeoutthewindowdaddy]

A deep dive into Zevlor's devotion (Part 3) Zevlor's actions during Act 1, an analysis of a man who is barely holding on:

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR BG3.

These series of posts were originally one loooooong post— but apparently Tumblr has a character limit, and I found it; so now it's been split into several parts/posts.

(Part 1) Everybody hates tieflings, and how discrimination impacted a young Zevlor.

(Part 2) Elturel's history and culture, the Hellriders, and Zevlor's paladin oath. (Part 2.5)

((Part 3, this post, is where the meat a good chunk of my Zevlor analysis is.))

(Part 4) Zevlor's actions during Act 2, an analysis of a broken man.

(Part 5) Zevlor's actions during Act 3, an analysis of a man with his faith restored.

(Part 6) Zevlor's actions during/ after the epilogue, not all endings are happily ever after— especially not for a tiefling.

(Part 7) Zevlor in a romantic relationship.

I don't think many bg3 players understand just how dedicated and loyal of a person Zevlor is. This ADHD hyper-fixation fueled multipart-thesis is meant to show how Zevlor's past is as tragic as any of the origin characters'/ Durge's. It's meant to show how horrifically broken Zevlor was when he "betrayed" the other tieflings. It's also meant to show that our beloved blorbo would probably be fervently obsessive if he was in a romantic relationship.

Most importantly: It demonstrates how our favorite man Zevlor was most likely a fanatical religious zealot my dudes. He was (probably) a part of the Faerûn equivalent of the Spanish Inquisition lite.

I have kept this as factual as I am able to. Please keep in mind that Baldur's Gate 3 plays it fast and loose with the DND/ Forgotten Realms canon and lore, on top of DND/ the Forgotten Realms itself regularly disregarding and changing it's own lore and canon. DND lore and canon as a whole is a mess. It has multiple universes that sometimes interact and are maybe separate from each other. Full disclosure; I've mixed 1e-5e lore together FUCK 5.5e, because parsing through what is currently considered canon is a nightmare. As far as I'm concerned, as long as a piece of lore was canon at some point in the past 50 years— it's fair game. @y-rhywbeth2 in this post has a more in depth disclaimer. Also please check out their headcanons and lore breakdowns, they're so good.

THIS PROJECT TOOK ME OVER A MONTH TO WRITE. I've tried to find all grammatical and spelling errors. I've tried to ensure that I've cited the correct sources in the correct places.

Before reading this way to long post please look at itsclydebitches analysis on Zevlor. [Alt] Which provided me with so much insight to his character and kickstarted my obsession with him. Also, @itsclydebitches puts ideas into words better than I do.

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● (Part 1) Zevlor before the events of BG3:

Here is what we know, for sure, about Zevlor:

Zevlor is a tiefling.

Zevlor achieved the rank of commander in the Hellriders.

He survived the city's fall into the Hells.

He was a paladin.

He does not have Darkvision.

Finally, here are the headcanons I have cobbled together based on the available albeit often times conflicting information I have gathered: (Hard facts are in green, everything else is speculation on my part.)

The youngest I would put Zevlor at is his mid 50's. The oldest I would put him at is his late 60's.

So this means that he was approximately 5-15 years old during the vampire crisis. Mentally, these are very formative years for a person. It really isn't a stretch of the imagination to assume that this, along with the miraculous appearance of the companion, set young Zevlor on the path to becoming a paladin and a Hellrider.

There aren't many elderly Hellriders around because most die in the line of duty. To have survived into his old age is a testament to Zevlor's skill, dedication, and luck divine favor.

(AN: In Zevlor's Sleep Stories, "a non-profit project created for and run by fans of Baldur's Gate 3 and its characters.", in episode # 8 - Oathsworn Glenn McCready, the official VA of Zevlor, (I only point out that the stories are narrated by the official VA because I think it's really cool that he and the fans have collaborated on the project. It is not meant to imply that him narrating the project means he has any opinions on how Zevlor is depicted in them, nor is it meant to lend any weight to the Sleep Stories being regarded as canon. Please check it out, it's an amazing project.) narrated a story in which Zevlor was stated to be 10 years old when the Companion first appeared— making Zevlor ~60 during the events of BG3. Zevlor's Sleep Stories is NOT canon, but I'm going to view this one story as canon in my heart; unless/ until Larian releases content/ info that contradicts it.)

This post [alt] by @nightmarist and @space-blue with contributions from @haru-sen is a wonderful source for some history of Elturel, how the Hellriders and Zariel are connected, how paladin's and their oaths work, and an analysis of how being exiled from Elturel changed/ impacted Zevlor's oath.

Zevlor would have had to devote himself 3x more than a non-tiefling Hellrider would've:

Hellriders were held to a high moral standard in a city that already had strict moral codes of conduct.

The Order of the Companion members took the Hellriders dedication a step further by swearing an oath to the city on a god.

Zevlor would have been under intense scrutiny for the crime of being a tiefling. For him to have made the rank of Commander despite this means that he proved, beyond a shadow of a shadow of a doubt, that he was devoted to protecting Elturel.

For added angst I like to headcanon that he had only achieved the rank of Commander a few tendays before Elturel fell into the Hells. And that it took so long for Zevlor to achieve the rank of Commander because he was rejected for promotions in favor of someone who wasn't a tiefling, even if they were less suited for the job than Zevlor was. And that if he wasn't a tiefling then he would've become a commander many years earlier.

Which means that for the entirety of his adult life Zevlor wholly devoted himself to being a Hellrider. He had to forsake everything else, being a Hellrider was his life's purpose.

That level of dedication cannot be faked or forced. He truly believed in being a Hellrider and what the Hellriders stood for/ represented.

And he was thanked for his years of unyielding service by being

● (Part 2) Banished from Elturel:

Zevlor's years of service, his countless sacrifices, and unwavering dedication to the protection of the city and its inhabitants meant nothing to the people of Elturel after the city was returned from the hells. Tieflings looked like the devils that had tormented them in hell (nevermind that the tieflings were also subject to the abuse from devils) and as such they were blamed for the city's Decent into Avernus.

"Many if not all the city's tieflings were exiled from the city, thanks to a new wave of misplaced fear and newly-formed prejudice."

This hatred from the people he loved so dearly didn't lead to Zevlor breaking his oath, it shattered Zevlor's very faith itself. (FFS, I can't find a clip of the Narrator describing Zevlor's time in/ just after Avernus when you click on him when he's in the mindflayer pod in Act 2. Please just trust me on this one.)

Zevlor didn't break his oath, it was broken for him. Hellriders swear to "Serve the realm of Elturgard, and defend the city of Elturel body and soul.", and he was forced to abandon the city.

Earlier in this series I had mentioned how exiled Hellriders were stripped of their gear before being cast out of the city. Zevlor, and the other tiefling Hellriders at the end of the game, still have some of their Hellrider gear. [alt] This makes me think that the other Hellriders refused to completely strip their tiefling family members of their gear because they did not agree with the city's bigoted decision. Letting them keep their gear would have been a subtle hint (and resistance to the city's authority) that the other Hellriders still considered their tiefling comrades as fellow Hellriders.

Whether the exiled tiefling Hellriders were still considered members of the Hellriders by the remaining Hellriders or not, Zevlor was now a

● (Part 3) Refugee:

But Zevlor still had a purpose, he and his fellow banished tiefling Hellriders swore to defend the civilian refugees on their journey to Baldur's Gate.

Tilses, and I assume the other Hellriders, still referred to Zevlor as Commander, and still considered him a Hellrider. She believed that no one could revoke their membership to the Hellriders, but Zevlor did. "They can [take away our Hellrider membership], and did. Avernus changed things — best we get used to that." - Zevlor

They were attacked multiple times on the road, and they had many casualties, and so Zevlor carried on as he always had— as a paladin sworn to protect his people. The refugees and the other, younger, Hellriders needed him to be a strong leader with unwavering faith, so that's what he was— but it was all an act. An act that got harder and harder to keep up as the days wore on and the rations, and survivors, dwindled.

But then they stumbled upon a possible salvation,

● (Part 4) The Emerald Grove:

They were welcomed in with open arms by the Archdruid Halsin. For the first time in who knows how long the refugees could rest. Sure, most of the other druids seem to barely tolerate the tieflings— but the Archdruid had made his position on their continued sanctuary within the grove clear.

And then the Archdruid Halsin went off with a set of very inexperienced and racist adventures, leaving a woman who could barely hide her contempt for the refugees as temporary Archdruid. Which should have only been for a few days at most, Zevlor knew he could play nice long enough to placate Kagha until Halsin returned, it was fine.

But Halsin didn't return, because he'd been kidnapped. And worse, Zevlor find this out because those inept adventures brought a pack of goblins right to the gate of the Grove.

I think the goblin attack was when Zevlor truly began to crumble. He would've been overwrought with guilt and self-doubt. Had he not spent ~20 seconds berating and interrogating Aradin over leading goblins straight to the Grove, and instead used that time to open the gate, then Kanon's death could've been avoided.

Worse still is that he ordered a man who wasn't wearing any armor to open the gate. Zevlor blames himself for Kanon's death, and he would mentally self-flagellate himself over his own cowardice: How he, a Commander in the Hellriders, took cover while Kanon, a tailor by trade, bravely continued opening the gate while the goblins were firing arrows at him.

After a hard-fought battle, the goblins are defeated. Then Aradin swaggers in acting as though he didn't just do a profoundly stupid thing by leading the goblins straight to defenseless citizens. Not only that, the uppity shithead Aradin blames Halsin for getting himself kidnapped. And then Aradin strikes a nerve, calling Zevlor a coward (and a slur). I think that Zevlor is already contending with his own guilt from thinking that he himself acted cowardly. For Aradin to call him a coward, on top of all the other stupid shit he's been spouting off, is too much to bear, and Zevlor's rage/ self-loathing is about to erupt into violence.

Luckily, the group of actually competent adventures who arrived and saved the day also managed to diffuse the tension between Zevlor and Aradin.

Or not. Leading to Zevlor punching the overtly racist idiot.

Punching Aradin (acting on his inherent desire for violence*, specifically) is something that I believe is wildly out of character for Zevlor. Aradin isn't the first mouthy prick he's come across, and if Zevlor had responded with violence to all of them then he wouldn't have been able to become a Commander. The stress Zevlor's been under has finally boiled over, and now that he no longer considers himself a Hellrider (and is constantly in survival mode trying to keep himself and the other tieflings alive), keeping a tight lid on his anger isn't something he really cares about anymore.

*"Tieflings also had access to an ability known as infernal wrath, which channeled their innate rage and potential for evil into their attacks for added effectiveness."

I cannot emphasize enough how much self discipline and restraint Zevlor has. His infernal heritage in combination with the overt discrimination he has undoubtedly faced his entire life, plus a healthy dose of pride, are a vicious cocktail of honestly justified anger issues. (AN: Based on him having more physical infernal features than the other tieflings do [alt] I headcanon that he possesses a temper closer resembling a devil's than the less infernal-looking tieflings do.)

Zevlor has been unchained. When it becomes clear that diplomacy won't work Zevlor tells the player that Kagha is their main obstacle, and that without her influence the other druids may see sense. The way he phrases this sentence allows Tav to "read between the lines" and see that Zevlor is open to killing Kagha, while also giving himself plausible deniability. Zevlor didn't suggest murdering Kagha, Tav did. Zevlor is "still hoping that Kagha can be swayed from this madness.", but if not... well, surely Tav understands how "Leaders need to make tough decisions. We do what we must."

Notice how slyly he phrased that— "we", subtly putting himself and Tav in the same category/ on the same team. But most importantly he never outright says to Tav "I want you to kill Kagha", it's implied. His 17 charisma and years of politicking around racism and red tape really shows here; because if shit goes south and Tav fails in their assassination attempt then, even if he has ingested a truth serum, Zevlor can honestly tell the druids that he never asked Tav to kill Kagha. If Tav doesn't suggest killing Kagha then Zevlor doesn't bring it up, and instead asks Tav to take out the goblin camp leaders.

(I am only citing this one dialogue tree option. There are more dialogue tree options, but I can't find videos of them and I am currently unable to play BG3 to explore the different options myself.)

Zevlor is proficient in using manipulation tactics and his knowledge of psychology to garner his preferred outcome. To be clear— I don't think he would have acted in such an underhanded way before being exiled, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I do think that pre-descent Zevlor was no stranger to using manipulation/ his psychological insight to achieve his goals, he would've had to because of the prejudice he faced, but it would've been used for more benign reasons (such as being treated with basic respect instead of open contempt).

(AN: Manipulation in and of itself isn't inherently bad, we all use manipulation to some extent in our day to day lives. So long as they are not abused little white lies and benign manipulations, along with having/ using tact, allow society to smoothly function. Like how saying "Please get me a glass of water." is perceived more favorably, and is more likely to convince a person to get you a glass of water, than "Get me a glass of water." Saying please is considered polite, and people are much more likely to acquiesce to a request if someone is polite. 'You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.' Or how you might wait until after someone has eaten to ask them for something, because they're more likely to agree to your request when they're not hangry.)

Zevlor was once a very proud man, and he had every right to be— becoming a Commander in the Hellriders is a remarkable achievement. Becoming a Commander in the Hellriders in the face of profound discrimination? Nothing short of a triumph. The Zevlor we meet at the Grove is a shadow of the man he used to be. The fall into Avernus and everything that happened after it has sucked most of the life out of him.

We still catch glimpses of the proud Hellrider Commander with the power of god and anime on his side that Zevlor once was. This post [alt] by @dimmadoome demonstrates not only Zevlor's pride, but his infernal temper and possessiveness (which I will cover in a different post). Listen to his speech here. This is a man who has lead his fellow warriors into battle. A man who fought for what he believed in and refused to give up even in the face of insurmountable danger. You can see the hell fire in his eyes blazing bright with righteous fury.

And then there's the speech he gives after defeating Minthara. Note his emphasis on the tieflings being not just survivors, but family. When he says 'family' he has a proud, gentle smile. (His high charisma and experience with giving rousing speeches may be the only reason why his mien changes during this part of his speech, but I think he's being sincere.) If you start that video from the beginning you can see him take a moment to collect himself because he's exhausted, but he knows his people need him to be a strong unflappable leader.

(Did you catch how he quickly pivots from hauteur "Tymora smile on me." to deference "We did it. You did it."? Manipulate, mansplain, malewife the hell out of them Zevlor.)

This portion of the video highlights Zevlor's loyalty to his comrades in arms. He calls Tav family— remember, Hellriders are extremely loyal to one another (and tieflings are very loyal to those who prove themselves trustworthy), this is how he behaved towards all his fellow Hellriders before he has cast out of Elturel. His faith is still broken, but Tav/Durge/Origin has reignited a glimmer of hope in him.

I think this is the only time I've ever seen this poor man actually relax and smile. But then he immediately goes back to looking pensive and walled off. I may be delulu and reading too far into things, but I don't think this is merely his character model returning to its default— I think it demonstrates exactly how Zevlor has been living for years: Silently admonishing himself for letting his guard down and his control slip. Desperately wanting to let go and forget himself and his propriety for a while but being unwilling, possibly unable, to do so.

That being said he does somewhat relax at

● (Part 5) The Tiefling Party:

There isn't a lot to say here. Zevlor isn't imbibing (much) to ensure that he keeps his wits about him— both so that he can supervise the people who are partying, and keep watch for potential threats. Even though he's not partying, Zevlor is elated to see the tiefling refugees smiling and relaxing. He knows that the journey ahead of them is fraught with danger/ trials and tribulations. He even looks the other way when his people spike the punch to make purple drank.

In Early Access to thank Tav for saving them Zevlor made a (bugged) light show where every light in it represented a life that Tav and Co. had saved. The party is the last time Zevlor is happy and hopeful before everything falls apart, as we will see in the next installation of this series: (Part 4) Zevlor's actions during Act 2, an analysis of a broken man.

Here's a link to the master list for this series.

Thanks for reading!

[radioactiveradley]

By popular (???) request, based on the outcome of this poll.

A WARNING: you guys really did pick the most complex one. This is loooooong. A DISCLAIMER. This is a silly little lesson aimed at folks who know sod-all about MRI. There are memes. There is (arguably) overuse of the term ‘big chungus’. If you are looking to delve deeper into the mysteries of K-Space, this is not the Tumblr post for you.

So, without further ado...

Today I am introducing you to my one true love. The legend. The icon.

Ferromagnetic material loves him. Claustrophobic people fear him.

Yeah, that’s right – we’re talking about the big boom-boom sexyboy magnet machine, hereby known as Big Chungus.

Aka...

MAGNETIC RESONANCE IMAGING

First off, though? Let’s start small.

Very, very small.

Meet HYDROGEN.

The nucleus of this element is made up of a single proton, which has a magnetic dipole – i.e., it acts like a tiny bar magnet.

Hydrogen is also a component of water. As we all know, we’re basically walking sacks of goop – meaning that Hydrogen is abundant throughout our bodies.

Therefore, when we stick you in a strong magnetic field… say, within our friend Big Chungus… we can manipulate all those tiny Hydrogen atoms in a variety of fun ways.

Under normal conditions, all your Hydrogen protons are pointing every-which-way.

But in Big Chungus, there is a strong longitudinal magnetic field that travels along the Z-axis of the machine. So, all your teeny tiny Hydrogen protons swivel to align with that field!

If a proton’s energy is LOWER than that of the longitudinal magnetic field (a majority), they will align PARALLEL with the field. If their energy is HIGHER (a minority) they will align ANTI-PARALLEL.

As most of the protons align with the longitudinal magnetic field, the net magnetisation vector within the human body is also longitudinal! This is called the thermodynamic equilibrium – the resting state for all those li’l protons when your body is within Big Chungus.

(You won’t feel any different, btw! We’re flipping a bunch of teeny-tiny bits inside you, but you won’t feel a thing!) (You might do later, when we activate the Gradient coils. We’ll….. get to that)

But, while all of this is very cool, it gives us no actual information. We gotta play some more with your protons - which brings us to arguably the most important concept in MRI. I mean, it’s literally in the name!

Let’s go back to our Hydrogen protons.

We’ve established that they’re all pointing in different directions. But they’re not just sitting still. They’re spinning and wobbling all over the shop.

We call this rotational wobbly movement precession.

In their natural state, these protons all precess at different speeds. When we subject them to Big Chungus, as well as all lining up neatly with the magnetic field, they all start to precess at the same speed.

However, their magnetic North will be pointing to different points at any given moment. Imagine two clocks, both of which are ticking at the same rate, but which have been set to read different times.

This is where magnetic resonance comes in.

In addition to the homogenous longitudinal magnetic field provided by Big Chungus, we also create an oscillating magnetic field in the transverse plane by using a radiofrequency (RF) pulse. We can tune that oscillation to the ‘resonant frequency’ of Hydrogen atoms.

Every molecule capable of resonance has its own specific frequency. We use a funky equation called the Larmor Equation to work this out, or, as I like to call it, W, BOY!!!

(The weird ‘w’ is the resonance frequency; the weird ‘Bo’ is the magnetic field strength, and the weird ‘Y’ is the gyromagnetic ratio of each particular element.)

So, we know exactly at what frequency to apply that RF pulse to your protons, to achieve resonance!

But what is resonance?

In acoustics, a ‘resonant frequency’ is the frequency an external wave needs to be applied at in order to create the maximum amplitude of vibrations within the object. Like when opera singers shatter glass with their voice! They’re singing at the resonant frequency of the glass, which makes it vibrate to the point where it compromises its structural integrity.

A similar concept applies in magnetic precession, with, uh, less destructive results. We’re not exploding anything inside of you, don’t worry!

(We do explode your innards accidentally in Ultrasound sometimes, via a different mechanism. But you’ll have to ask me more about that later. >:3)

To put it simply, magnetic resonance is the final step in getting those protons to BEHAVE. Now, the clocks have been corrected so their hands move at exactly the same time, in the same position. The protons are precessing ‘in phase’. Yay!

This creates transverse magnetisation, as the magnetic vectors of all those protons (which, remember, act as bar magnets) will swing around to point in one direction at the same time.

But the cool thing about resonance? It also allows the protons to absorb energy from the RF pulse.

(Do NOT ask me how. Do NOT. I will cry.)

And remember how the higher-energy protons flip anti-parallel to the longitudinal magnetic vector of Big Chungus, while the lower-energy protons are aligned parallel? And because we have more low-energy protons than high-energy protons, our body gains a longitudinal magnetic vector to match Big Chungus?

Zapping those protons at their resonant frequency gives 'em energy (a process known as ‘excitation’, which I love, because I get to imagine them putting little party hats on and having a rave).

So, loads of them flip anti-parallel! Enough to cancel out the net longitudinal magnetic vector of our bodies – despite the best efforts of good ol’ Chungus!

(Keep trying, Chungus. We love you.)

Our protons are as far from our happy equilibrium as they can possibly be. We’ve lost longitudinal magnetisation, and gained transverse magnetisation. Oh noooo however can we fix this ohhhh noooooo

Simple. We turn off the RF pulse.

Everything returns to that sweet, sweet thermodynamic equilibrium.

Longitudinal magnetisation is regained. I.e., the protons realign with Big Chungus’s longitudinal magnetic field, with the majority aligned parallel rather than anti-parallel.

This is called SPIN-LATTICE RELAXATION.

‘T1 time’ is the point by which 63% of longitudinal magnetisation has been regained after application of the RF pulse. A T1-weighted image shows the difference between T1 relaxation times of different tissues.

And, without that oscillating RF pulse, we lose resonance – the protons fall out of phase randomly, due to the delightful unpredictable nature of entropy, and Transverse magnetisation reduces.

This is called SPIN-SPIN RELAXATION.

Or, if we’re feeling dramatic…

‘T2 time’ is the point by which 37% of the transverse magnetisation has been lost. A T2-weighted image shows the difference between T2 relaxation times of different tissues.

(Spin-spin is objectively a hilarious phrase to say in full seriousness when surrounded by important physics-y people. However, a word to the wise: do not make a moon-moon joke. They are not on Tumblr (present company excluded). They will not understand. You will get strange looks.)

But remember how resonance lets our protons shlorp up that sweet, sweet energy from the RF pulse? Well, in order to get back to thermodynamic equilibrium and line up with Big Chungus again, they have to splort that energy back out.

This is why we stick a cage over the body part we’re imaging. That cage isn’t a magnet, or a way of keeping you still – it’s a receiver coil.

It picks up the RF signal that’s given off by your innards as they relax from the intense work-out we just put them through. How cool is that??

The amount of time we wait between applying the RF pulse and measuring the ‘echo’ from within your body is called the ‘ECHO TIME’, or ‘TE’ (because we didn’t want to call it ET).

(yes, we’re cowards. Sorry.)

We also have ‘REPETITION TIME’ or ‘TR’ – the amount of time we leave between RF pulses! This determines how much longitudinal magnetisation can recover between each pulse.

By manipulating TE and TR, we can alter the contrast (i.e., the blacks and whites) on our image.

Areas of high received signal (hyperintense) are shown as white, while areas of low received signal (hypointense) are shown as black. Different sorts of tissue will have different ratios of Hydrogen-to-other-shit, and different densities of Hydrogen-and-other-shit – ergo, some tissue blasts out all of its stored energy SUPER QUICK. Others give it off slower.

A T1-weighted image has a short TR and TE time.

Fat realigns its longitudinal magnetisation with Big Chungus SUPER QUICK. This means, on a T1-weighted image, it looks hyperintense. However, water realigns its longitudinal magnetisation with Big Chungus slooooowly. Therefore, on a T1-weighted image, fluid looks hypointense! Ya see?

A T2-weighted image has a long TR and TE time.

The precession of protons in fat decays relatively slow, so it will look quite bright on a T2-scan. But water decays slower, and therefore, by the time we take the T2 image, fluids within the body will be giving off comparatively ‘more’ signal than fat – meaning they’ll appear more hyperintense!

If we have a substance with intrinsically long T1 and T2 values, it will appear dark on a T1-weighted image and bright on a T2-weighted image, and the same in reverse. If a substance has a short T1 value and a long T2 value, it will appear relatively ‘bright’ on both T1 and T2-weighted images – i.e., fat and intervertebral discs.

As every tissue has its own distinct T1 and T2 property… we can work out precisely what sort of tissue we’re looking at.

When we build in all our additional sequences, this becomes even clearer! This is why your MRI scan takes sooooo long – we’re running SO MANY sequences, manipulating TR and TE to determine the exact T1 and T2 properties of various tissues within your bod.

There is, however, a problem.

The RF signal given off by each proton doesn’t shoot out in a handy-dandy straight line. Meaning, we have no idea where the signal is coming from within your body.

Enter our lord and saviour:

THE GRADIENT COILS.

(Shim coils are also very important – they maintain field homogeneity across the whole of Big Chungus. While Big Chungus wouldn’t need them in a perfect theoretical scenario… reality ain’t that. Big Chungus’s magnetic field is all wibbly-wobbly, so we use Shims to keep everything smooth! That’s all you need to know about them. BACK TO THE GRADIENTS.)

There are three of them, wrapping around each of the three planes of your body. When these activate, they cause those epicly eerie booming noises, characteristic of a Big Chungus ExperienceTM.

The Gradient coils are also what causes those weird tingling sensations you get in an MRI machine – which, don’t worry, aren’t permanent! Your nerves just go ‘WOAHG. THASSALOT OF MAGNET SHIT. HM. DON’T LIKE THAT.’ But they’ll calm down again once you’re freed from Big Chungus.

The gradient coils cause constant fluctuations in the magnetic field across all three dimensions. They activate sequentially, isolating one chunk of your body after the next.

As these fluctuations cause variation within the signal received, we can look at how much THAT particular signal, received at THAT particular number of milliseconds after an RF pulse, varied when THAT particular gradient was activated, in comparison to when THAT OTHER gradient was activated.

For every single bit of signal output.

That gives us A WHOLE LOTTA DATA.

^ imagine this, but the cupboard contents is just. data.

Way too much data, in fact, for our puny human brains to comprehend – so obviously, we feed it to an algorithm.

K-space is a funky computational matrix where all this info gets compiled during data acquisition. Once we’ve finished the scan sequence and have all that yummy raw data, it can be mathematically processed to create a final image!

Just like that. Simple, right?

TL;DR

You are full of Hydrogen.

Hydrogen nuclei (protons) are basically tiny magnets

These tiny magnets are orientated completely randomly, with ‘North’ pointing in all directions

We stick billions of these tiny magnets (i.e., you) into a mahoosive magnet (i.e., Big Chungus)

All the tiny magnets flip around to align with the longitudinal magnetic field of Big Chungus

High energy protons = antiparallel Low energy protons = parallel

As you have more low energy protons than high energy protons in your body, the net magnetic vector of your body is longitudinal – just like Big Chungus!

All your protons are spinning and wobbling (precessing) at random rates

We use an RF pulse, tuned to the Resonance Frequency of Hydrogen, to make ‘em precess in phase (wobble at the same time, all pointing in the same direction at once). This creates a Transverse magnetic vector.

This in-phase precession is ‘Magnetic Resonance’

Magnetic Resonance means the protons can absorb energy from the RF pulse

Now there are more high energy protons within your body! They flip antiparallel, and the net longitudinal magnetic vector of your body decreases.

We measure the time it takes for the high-energy protons to release that energy and return to alignment with the net magnetic vector of Big Chungus (Spin-Lattice Relaxation / T1 recovery)

And the time it takes for the precessing-in-phase protons to Quit That Nonsense and all start wobbling in random directions again (Spin-Spin Decay / T2 recovery)

Each tissue within your body has a different composition & density of Hydrogen atoms – which means each tissue within your body has a unique T1 & T2 recovery time

By measuring the signal at different times (TE) and by varying the frequency with which we apply RF pulses (TR), we ‘take pictures’ that show variations in the amount of signal these tissues are giving off. The signal is caught by the large radiofrequency receiver coils we put over you when you enter the machine.

Because the signal given off during recovery/decay blasts out in all directions, we don’t know exactly where it originated within your body.

Gradient coils are arranged across X, Y, and Z axes throughout the gantry of Big Chungus. They cause tiny fluctuations in the magnetic field, in sequential chunks throughout space. This is the booming noise you hear when you’re in the machine.

These tiny fluctuations cause variations in the signal we receive, depending on how close the signal is to the activated gradient coil. All this data is compiled in a magical computational matrix called K-space. A funky algorithm then decodes those variations and couples them up with the strength of the signal to give us 1) How much signal is being blasted out at that particular moment 2) Where exactly that signal comes from within your body, according to the 3D map produced by the gradient coils

It then represents these values with a pretty picture!

Tl;dr tl;dr:

[otherconvention]

Making a post introducing us for any newcomers!

We're Othercon, a 3-day virtual convention for alterhumans (therians, otherhearted, otherkin, soulbonders, a loooooong list!)

Registration is completely free, and open right now on our website! We're celebrating our 5th anniversary this year. Attendee registration's last day is the 8th, which is very soon, so be sure to register if you're interested in attending!

[ourlittleuluru]

How... How do I even put the things going on in my head into words 😭 I can't with the new trailer and and the eventttttt

I'm sorry I'm gonna be so annoying on main for a bit, am totally freaking out. Sorry for the long post ahead... and by long, i mean... LONG

That BGM in the trailer is pretty 🔥🔥🔥 Ngl, very phantom thieve-y

ALSO the 4 star?????

This looks so gorgeoussss???? The rain and blood and him covering his face when the mask is taken of?!?!

THE DUALITY OF HIM IN JUST THE 5 stars as well????

FROM SHY AND AWW VS ANGY AND POUTY???!

The new couple pose!!!

The chat bubble is so pretty toooooooo and the ultimate????

The moon and stars in the backgrounddddd

Just him teleporting around and with the halo like a moon behind him. I have no words

Overall, loving the aesthetics!!!

can't stop looking at this pouty baby 😭🥺💕

AHHHHH NO XAVIER BBY You're no idiot sandwichhhh ToT

Look at himmm he looks so sadddddd 😭😭😭

Finally, about MC

Her outfit. I have... mixed feelings? I love it but yet something feels just a tad little awkward to me?? But I still mostly like it either way ><;;;

Maybe it's the exposed collar bone area???

Same block animation but that same moon phase background QwQ

The new skill seems to be a gathering skill??? Which will help a lot ngl X'D;;; If not it's a plain AOE skill, WHICH IS STILL USEFUL because there's no pushback! TwT

okok i better end my ramblings here. This post is loooooong enough

[starrayblogs]

Hey hey, first off, very excited to see someone writing for Aphmau characters!! It’s been a while since I watched my street but I will never forget how upset I was when Laurence disappeared (Goodnight sweet Prince)

As for fanfic request stuff, could you do a friends to lovers with a reader who’s super confident in everything except love? Like, knows they’re cool and look good but they’ve never really been confessed to, just something real fluffy. Not necessarily shy just not willing to risk confessing even if they know the other person feels the same (preferably fem reader)

For the character(s), if you take requests for multiple people then Cole Ninjago and Laurence MyStreet (separate) and if not then just Laurence will do :))

Any format works too, headcanons, one shot, go wild

thanks so much for the ask! this is such an interesting scenario and i had a loooooong time writing this ehe TuT

however, since the characters you requested are from different fandoms- i think i'll write the other pairing on a different post (hope u understand TmT) . also i'm soooo sorry in advance if laurence is ooc, i haven't really thought about him in a while...

anyway, likes and reblogs are appreciated! i hope you enjoy ✩

pairing: mystreet laurance x fem!reader

will include: fluff, friends to lovers

"You know what's the craziest part in all this?" Katelyn points out, drawing a circle with her index toward you.

"What?" You raise a brow, placing your hands on top of each other on your crossed leg.

"That I still don't get how you haven't confessed to Laurence." She answers quickly, and you react by immediately uncrossing your legs and throwing your hands in the air.

"It's not that easy!" You exclaim.

"How? You're the most confident person ever!" Aphmau points out from her side of the couch. "Second to Laurence, of course." She adds, which receives a collective 'yeah's and 'that's true's from the other girls.

You sigh as you slump in your chair.

It's another girls night, which means another night for updates on your crush on your close friend, Laurence. Only the girls, who are Aphmau, Katelyn, Kawaii~Chan, and Lucinda, know your crush on him.

"Seriously, you're so confident when it comes to other guys. I never thought I'd see Travis of all guys stutter when you flirted with him for a dare." Lucinda chuckles from the other end of Aphmau's couch, swirling her glass of juice.

"Because, Laurence is different..." You pause for a second before sighing again and combing a hand through your hair. "I've never felt this type of connection with anyone else, and I'm scared that if I do confess, it'll ruin the friendship I have with him." You frown as you intertwine your hands together. "I don't wanna lose him if it ends out like that."

"What happened to "don't be afraid to try new things" because you said being confident is all about being secure with yourself enough that new things don't scare you as much?" Katelyn asks, bending at the waist and propping her elbows on her thighs.

"I agree! You always say that and that's how you helped Kawaii~Chan start her maid cafe!" Kawaii~Chan smiles at you. You spare a smile before looking down to your fiddling hands again.

"Love is an entirely different department of confidence. My past relationships didn't end well, and," You bite your lip for a second, "I'm scared." Your eyes glance up to look around the room, which was filled with surprised faces from your girl friends. "I'm scared that if Laurence and I do become a... thing, that the universe is going to wreck it somehow and he'll cut me out of his life." You confess.

Aphmau gets up from her seat and ushers Lucinda to scooch to the other side before taking her seat. She places her hands on top of yours and your head moves up to meet her eyes. Her lips curl into a smile as her hand squeezes yours, giving your reassurance not only with her gaze.

"You're not going to lose him. I know Laurence is a relatively silly guy, but when it's something serious, he doesn't play around." She says softly. "He's a mature guy when he needs to be, and I can never imagine him actually hurting any woman's feelings on purpose." She adds with a light chuckle before exhaling deeply. "Otherwise, if he did, I'd have his head by now."

You comically blink at her last sentence before breaking into a laugh. The weight of the situation gets lighter, even for just this moment, and you give Aphmau a smile. "Thanks, Aph." You nod in her direction. "Thanks for being so supportive about this, girls." You turn to the other three in the living room.

"Of course, no problem!" "No biggie." "Kawaii~Chan can't wait for her ship to sail!"

Everyone turns to Kawaii~Chan with concerned looks, which she replies with a shrug. "What? Kawaii~Chan thinks they're end game!" She exclaims nonchalantly. Your cheeks flush as you try to change the topic for the night.

It was pouring down heavily today. You were outside early before the sun came up for a quick jog around the town, as you usually did. However, on your way back, you felt droplets of rain fall down on you and dismissed it for a light shower.

Now, you're stuck under a random bus stop. Turns out, you were jogging on a completely different street on the way back home. You guess you absentmindedly took one wrong turn on the way back, too busy listening to your music.

You were pretty soaked in your attire and you were started to get cold. Your phone dinged in your pocket and you brought it out, curling your hand across the top of the screen to stop the rain from straying onto your phone.

It was Laurence. He texted asking you how you were against the rain, and followed it with a picture of a flooded basement. He said his room got flooded and you snickered, typing a reply back on how only he would get stuck in a situation like that.

He replies with a few laughing emojis and you think for a while before opening your camera, taking a selfie of yourself. Your hair was wet and clinging to your skin, your clothes were also wet (even your socks), and you were pretty sure you would get sick after this.

You sent the selfie to Laurence, telling him how you're stuck outside in the rain while you were in the middle of jogging back home. He didn't reply after that and you thought it up to how he had his own problems to handle, which was his flooded basement.

You hugged yourself as you sat inside the bus stop, hoping the rain would stop. You didn't want to risk jogging back home either because you were on a street you didn't know and you were pretty sure you'd get even more lost in such weather.

You don't know how long you waited but it felt like hours.

Then, you heard your name in the distance. You turned to the direction of the voice and saw a figure far away. You squinted your eyes to get a good look on who it was, and you gasped.

It was Laurence. Running in your direction and holding up an umbrella above his head.

You can't explain how relieved you were to see him. You watched as he ran up to you and as he panted for a few minutes to catch his breath. You hoped he thought that your red cheeks were some indication of a starting fever, instead of you blushing because he was here.

"Laurence?" You whisper his name and he inhales deeply, pushing himself up from his knees.

"Are you okay!?" He exclaims, stepping closer inside the bus stop to you. "Oh my Irene, I'm so glad I found you. Come on, let's get you home." He offers his hand out and you slowly reach out for it.

Once your hand was in his, he gripped you tightly and pulled you under the umbrella. "How'd you find me?" You ask softly as you begin to follow Laurence's lead.

"Your selfie showed the bus stop map. I just had to zoom in to see which one you were at, and I came running to find you." Laurence says, like it was no big deal. Yet, you could hear your heart beating loudly in your ears as your cheeks grow redder.

"... Thank you, Laurence." You say softly, smiling towards him. He glances his eyes to you, and he smiles back.

"Don't mention it." He replies, and you almost just notice how he squeezes your hand just a bit tighter.

Laurence led you back to your house in gentleman-like fashion. You were screaming in your head the whole time the way back, but deep down you were happy. Extremely happy.

On the way home, Laurence explained that Zane somehow managed to drain the water from the basement and that's when he immediately left the house to get you.

You felt so cared for. On the way home, you would look down and stare at your intertwined hands. You couldn't believe someone would go out in the windy, strong rain just to fetch you and bring you home- and you couldn't believe it more when you remember it's Laurence who did that.

... You're almost brought to tears when you remind yourself that he's doing all of this as your friend as you come down the stairs.

When you don't notice Laurence in the living room, those thoughts are immediately reinforced. Of course, he did his job in bringing you back to your house, so what other reason would he have to stay?

"You done showering? I made some chicken soup!" A familiar voice yells from the kitchen. You hurriedly make your way there in disbelief, to see Laurence about to carry two hot bowls of soup.

"Laurence," you pause, "you're still here." You sound like you're out of breath.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Laurence comes up to you with a sided smile, nodding his head to your dining table to indicate to take a seat. "Someone's gotta take care of you once you inevitably get a fever after being out in the rain for so long." He subtle scolds you and you pout.

"I thought I could wait it out..." You murmur, taking your seat.

"Yeah, for a day, sure." He sets your bowl down in front of you before taking a seat next to you, while pressing the back of his palm on your forehead.

You quickly pull away to look down to your bowl and immediately pick up the spoon. So, you could hide your blush (obviously). "I don't have a fever, Laurence." You tell him, taking a scoop of the soup and bringing it to your lips.

Only, of course, to burn your tongue and slam the spoon back down on the table. "Hey, hey, slow down!" Laurence gets up from his seat to quickly pour you some water. "Are you okay?" He asks while you basically chug the water.

You nod your head while drinking before setting the glass down. "Uh, thank you... again." You avert your eyes nervously.

"Are you sure you don't have a fever?" He raises a brow as he returns to his chair.

"Y-Yeah! Yeah, I'm sure." You slide a hand behind your neck out of habit.

Laurence's eyes furrow and he leans in towards you. "You're lying."

"What?"

"You're lying?"

"No, I'm not." You chuckle.

"Yes, you are. You put your hand behind your neck when you lie." He states, like a matter of fact.

You blink at him with awe and disbelief. He notices the small stuff about you too.

Your mind passes to the thoughts of your feelings towards the brunette. The fact he ran in the middle of practically a storm today just to get you, the fact he remembered your small habits, and the fact that he's here. He's here and he's taking care of you.

It makes you feel warmer than the soup he made. He's always made you feel like. It's like a cozy fireplace whenever you're next to him, like you're rocking on a chair with a knitted wool blanket while holding your favorite drink.

You're at the height of your emotions and it overtakes your rationality. You inhale and blurt,

"Laurence, I like you." He blinks at your words. You clear your throat and look down, intertwining your hands to keep them busy. "I've liked you for a while, actually. A few months after we met, I developed feelings for you. I... I never told you because I was scared of losing you." You close your eyes when you feel the tears begin to well in your eyes. "I know how dumb it sounds especially because of how confident I am, but when it comes to you, I am so scared because the bond we have is so special to me a-"

You were cut off by a kiss. You open your tear-filled eyes and see Laurence's face. His eyes are squeezed shut and his cheeks were slightly tinted if you paid enough attention, and you did. He pulls away.

Apparently, he had lifted your head with his hands on your cheek and pulled you in for a cheek. "I..." He smiles as his thumb wipes the tears away from your cheek. "I like you too. For a while, now." He confesses softly. "You caught my eye the day Aphmau introduced you to us because you were so confident with yourself." He glances down to your lips before looking at you again. "At first, it was because you were beautiful," he pauses, "I still do."

You chuckle and he does too, before pulling your focus back on him.

"Then as we got closer, I thought about how much I wanted to keep seeing you... be confident." He says. "And wanted to be the one that makes you confident too." He adds, nodding his head to the side. "Of course, only if you'd let me."

You sniffle and nod your head frantically. You laugh lightly as you begin to chuckle. "Yes!" You whisper. "Yes, Laurence, I-"

He cuts you off with another kiss. Only this time, you kiss him back.