#very hot aviator men

[roosterforme]

Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw Part 5 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: With each email written and received, you and Bradley are both aching for more details. While he's thinking about plans for a first date, you get apprehensive, knowing you're going to be devastated when he returns to wherever he calls home after a few days of leave. If the two of you had an opportunity to speak more intimately, there's a chance the details could fall into place.

Warnings: Fluff, language, Bradley being hot

Length: 4200 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female teacher!Reader

Check out my masterlist for more! Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw masterlist

After much consideration on the matter, you sat down at home that evening with your phone and started to type up a response to Bradley. He wanted to know in an overabundance of detail how you'd feel if he asked to cancel your dinner reservation and chill with takeout instead? You weren't quite sure what he was getting at, and it felt a little bit like he had given you another assignment to work on, but you were planning on being completely transparent with him. 

Once again, the ease with which you and he communicated, even through the written word alone, was something that made you a little dizzy. A little needy. Bradley had better communication skills and paid you more attention than half of the men you'd dated, and he wasn't even in the same time zone as you.

Bradley,

We got the package you sent. My kids went wild over their personalized notes, as per usual. You've reached full celebrity status in my classroom. We'll be working on sending some notes back to you in the next few days, so brace yourself.

Please remember that you asked me for an abundance of detail here... What would I do if you wanted to change plans? Wanted to spend a quiet evening hanging out at your place instead of going out? In an extreme effort to sound as cool as possible right now... just thinking about this is making me feel warm enough that I need to take a lap around my apartment. I guess first of all, I would tell you that as far as takeout is concerned, I love Thai food the most. I'm not very picky though, so even a generic pizza and some beer would more than suffice. 

If you said you were tired from work and still wanted to hang out, I wouldn't be too pressed about the details. I would be perhaps a little giddy that you missed me enough to want me around. I'd offer to pick up dinner on my way. I would let you choose the movie. I wouldn't even be upset if you fell asleep. In fact I'd probably just cover you with a blanket and let you doze. There is perhaps no worse feeling than forcing yourself to go out when you just really don't want to. And right now nothing sounds better to me than watching a movie with you on your couch. But I have to know... if you're 6'1", are you too tall to stretch out there comfortably? Where would I end up? Would we be touching? Please reply with an abundance of detail. 

I know this scenario is purely hypothetical, but it does sound pretty perfect. I'll be thinking about splitting some Thai curry with you on your couch for a long time. Maybe during those couple days of leave when you get back to San Diego, we could meet? I think I would like that, even if you just have one day before you have to get back to your regular routine. And now I need to take another lap around my apartment.

One last thing. The aviator who took my photo on the beach was a woman, but I appreciate your response. I can't guarantee I'll stay off the beach, but I can guarantee that I'll give a guy a chance. Also, what does a girl have to do around here to get a dreamy sunset photo of you? 

Once again, hitting send before I can change my mind.

You took another lap around your apartment, even going so far as to walk around the block before it got too dark outside. Thai food and Bradley Bradshaw and a movie on his couch. There was a loop playing in your mind where he leaned in and kissed you before calling you 'Gorgeous Girl' and reaching for your hand.

"Why are you torturing yourself like this?" you moaned out loud when you walked back inside all flushed with desire. You took a long bath. You made some sleepy time tea. You sat on your couch with your notebook and worked on lesson plans until it was pretty late, but you weren't tired at all.

Frustrated that you were letting this man take over so much of your brain, you went to your bedroom and plugged your phone in for the night. And that's when you heard the familiar ping, alerting you to the fact that you had a new email.

"No way," you gasped when you looked at the screen. You'd just send him a response two hours ago, and Bradley had already written back. You flopped down onto your bed, wrenching your phone back from the charger as you started to read.

Hey, Gorgeous,

Your answer was enlightening, thank you. Relieved to hear you wouldn't pout about missing the dinner reservation. I love Thai food, but I would absolutely insist on grabbing the takeout and having you pick the movie (nothing with scary spiders, please). 

I actually don't really fit on my couch too well at all. If I really stretch out, my feet dangle over the arm, and there wouldn't be much room left for you, too. Would we be touching? God, I hope so. Where would you end up? I'm blushing just thinking about the possibilities. 

You asked for details? Well, I'd ask for permission. If you gave me permission to touch you, we'd be holding hands. If you gave me permission for more than that, then you'd be covering both of us with a blanket, and I'd be holding you a lot closer. I don't think I should provide further details on that right now, actually. Gorgeous girl, you're messing with my head.

If you're feeling generous enough to give me a chance, then I'm feeling generous enough to send you a sunset photo. But frankly a girl like you isn't going to have to do much at all to get whatever she wants. Next decent sunset around here is all for you.

Your Truly,

Bradley

Well, you may never sleep again. You read his email twice before pulling up the photo of him in front of his jet, and your mind started to wander as you looked at his face. No, you'd never sleep again.

------------------------------

Bradley felt pretty ridiculous. He'd never taken so many photos of himself before in his life. Snapping a few for your class while in his cockpit with all of his gear on was one thing, but trying to get a flattering one of his face with the sun setting in the middle of the ocean was something else entirely. He was alone in a deserted part of the deck, thankful nobody else could see him. 

"Maybe she won't notice if I'm not in it," he muttered as he snapped one of the setting sun. The sky was glowing a deep orange, and the clouds moving in made everything look even dreamier. He started thinking about you and the fact that you said you were going to give him a chance. The details weren't important. He'd work that part out. When he got back to San Diego, he was going to see if you and he were as compatible in person as you were right now. But the remainder of his deployment was the one thing that was preventing that from happening immediately, and you did ask him for a photo of himself. If you really wanted it, he'd make sure you had it.

He had never been so stressed out about his scars in his adult life before right now. The best photo he took of himself was one where they looked a little more prominent. He'd sleep on it tonight and consider if he wanted to send it or a different one. Usually he didn't care at all. He supposed that in person, women would either talk to him or not, depending upon if they were bothered by the way he looked or not. But you weren't with him in person, and the more detailed the photos were, the more likely you were to dwell on his face now. He really wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

After grabbing an inspired dinner alone in the mess hall, he thought about eating spicy Thai curry on his couch while you and he argued playfully about which movie to watch. Then he thought about you sitting on his lap and maybe even touching his scars which he hoped you wouldn't be bothered by. Then, as he changed to head to the gym, he imagined all the things he thought about but didn't tell you. Like pulling you onto his lap or stretching out on his couch with you lying mostly on top of him. His hand would find a nice resting spot on your back, or maybe even a little lower. His lips would eventually find yours, and the movie would become a distant memory in his mind.

"Shit." Now he was the one who needed to walk a lap before he could even go to the gym. He was already sweating by the time he got there, making it his continued mission to avoid the married woman while he listened to his playlist. He did a few extra reps, knowing you were on dry land in San Diego and wanting to make sure he looked as good as possible. Maybe he could make up for the close up photo of his face with his body.

Without sleeping on it, Bradley went back to the lounge and logged in. He sent you the best photo of the bunch along with two sentences.

Thinking of you, Gorgeous. Tell me about your week.

But he didn't hear back from you right away, and it wasn't for lack of checking his inbox. He hoped you and your students were working their way through the last batch of notes that he'd mailed. Or maybe you were busy and tired from taking them on a field trip. He was hoping there was a reason other than you not liking his bad selfie that meant he didn't get a response. 

Luckily he got busy over the weekend so he didn't have to think about it as much. Each time he climbed that ladder up to his cockpit and waited patiently for his jet to launch from the carrier deck, he took a few seconds to clear his mind and make sure he was focused on the right thing. He needed to survive this deployment so he could even potentially allow his thoughts to go further with you later.

When he made his way back to the lounge after dinner and a shower on Sunday night, he definitely got more in his inbox than he was hoping for. And not in a good way. There was a new message from you, but it was sitting right beneath a second, newer message. From Vanessa.

"What the fuck?" Bradley asked himself, loud enough that the guy next to him turned and glanced his way. It had been months since they'd spoken. Literally fucking months, and she was emailing him now? "No." Sudden panic started to boil to the surface as he quickly tried to click on it, now terrified about what she could be contacting him in regards to.

Hi,

I'm only writing to you because I have a bit of an issue that I need your help dealing with. I can't find my favorite water bottle anywhere. I think it's in your kitchen cabinet, and I just started at a new gym, so I really need it. Let me know how I can get into your house to retrieve it. And please don't take forever to respond to this like you usually do. Like I said, I really need it.

Vanessa

It was a joke. It must be. Bradley double checked the email address to make sure he wasn't being pranked by Nat or somebody else, but no, it was really from Vanessa. 

"A fucking water bottle?" he muttered. He couldn't even picture what she was talking about. Unless it was that ugly, oversized pink thing she used to carry around with her everywhere? The one with the big handle that he joked could double as a weapon? That thing?

What the fuck. He wrote back to her before he even bothered to open the email from you.

Vanessa, it's a water bottle. And it's already been months. Can't this wait until I'm home?

He hit send, rolled his shoulders and took a few deep breaths. He could archive her message so he didn't have to see it again, and he'd just deal with her bullshit later. He would read what you had to say instead, and hopefully it would cheer him up. But after he stood and stretched for a minute and sat back down, there was already a new response from Vanessa waiting for him.

"What the actual hell?" he grunted. He didn't even know what time it was at home, and he didn't take the few seconds to do the math as he started to read.

No, Bradley. I can't wait. It's a $65 sustainable, dual temperature, leak proof water bottle in a limited edition color. And I would like it back. I tried to find a replacement online, but I do not want a potentially used water bottle. Please advise.

He sat there with his fists clenched and his jaw set tight. He literally could not believe her. Anyone else would just use a different water bottle like a normal person, but he knew she'd be on his ass nonstop about this now. The fact that he was going to have to explain this situation to Nat and beg her to go over there with his spare key was almost laughable. He'd probably owe her two steak dinners if he asked her to deal with his ex girlfriend, because she never could stomach Vanessa. 

He sent Nat a quick email anyway with Vanessa's phone number which he had to look up in his phone, begging her to take care of this for him. It would be worth the price of two dinners at this point. Then he settled back in his seat and tapped on your beautiful name, letting the monitor fill up with your words. When he started reading, he forgot he was supposed to feel nervous at what you sent back in response to the close up selfie.

Bradley,

Wow. I didn't think things could improve after the photo of you with your jet and the video where you're speaking. But I was wrong. So wrong. And I'm not upset about it. You're very handsome. The sunset looks okay, too. Now you're the one messing with my head.

I'm sorry I didn't write back immediately, but you should know that your hot photo has taken up residence in my mind. My week involved three of my students getting sick with the flu as well as a bunch of parent/teacher conferences, and tonight I'm really tired. The idea of snuggling, or more, with you on your couch has been playing on loop. I'm giving you permission to hold my hand if we ever meet in person. You have very nice looking hands. You have a very nice looking everything. Would you mind me asking how old you are?

Right, well, we mailed another box back to you on Friday afternoon. My kids asked me to project a photo of a Super Hornet onto the wall so they could have a drawing contest. I finally caved and let them, and they want you to be the judge. And once again, you'll have eighteen individual letters to read. Nineteen if you include the one I put in the box.

On that note, I'm going to take a bath and snuggle up in bed. And you can't blame a girl for looking at that photo again.

Yours Truly,

Your favorite pen pal 

Now this was the kind of thing he wanted in his inbox, not questions about missing water bottles. Bradley hit reply immediately, happy that you hadn't even mentioned his scars. You thought he was handsome in the close up picture? He always figured he was okay enough looking that his height and build made women say he was attractive. But you actually called him handsome. He started typing back to you, already feeling so much better.

--------------------------

After resting all weekend, you were definitely feeling better. You loved your students, but sometimes dealing with their parents was more than you bargained for. Adults were often worse than kids when it came to complaining and exercising patience. All of the conferences from last week were a thing of the past now, but you still felt a little bad for taking so long to write back to Bradley. Especially after he sent you that photo.

Maybe you felt like you had to reel it in a little bit. What was the most that was going to happen? He'd agree to meet you during his short leave in San Diego? Maybe you'd go out on a date? It would probably be the best date of your life. It might even turn out to be the best night of your life. And then he'd leave for another station with the Navy, or maybe he'd return back home, leaving you feeling even lonelier than you did before you inadvertently mailed him that first box.

It was a good thing you had your students to take your mind off things on Monday morning. 

"Are we going to talk about aviation now or after lunch?" Violet asked as she unpacked her pencil box.

You took a deep breath and said, "We're actually going to start a unit on Natural History today." Eighteen pairs of eyes stared at you like you'd completely lost your mind. "It'll be great!"

Oliver's hand rocketed into the air. "Does Lieutenant Bradley also know stuff about Natural History? Is that what we're going to write to him about now?"

Great. Your students were just as attached as you were. "Well since our aviation unit is going to be tapering off, we probably won't need to be writing to him as much now."

"What?" gasped Jayden. 

"No way," complained Nia. 

After that, you tried to move along with your lesson plans, but the entire class just sat there quietly, barely engaged with what you were saying. And perhaps part of it was your fault, because you didn't really feel like teaching this after all. By the time lunch and recess arrived, you felt defeated. You sat quietly at your desk in your empty classroom while your kids played outside, and you ate your lunch while you checked your phone. Bradley had written back an hour ago. Even if you wanted to wait until later to read it, you wouldn't have been able to.

Hey, Gorgeous,

That note from you made my day. I can't wait for the new letters from the kids to arrive so I can spend my evenings writing back instead of absolutely living in the gym right now. You want me to judge a drawing contest? Bring it on. I'm so ready.

I'll tell you how old I am. I wasn't expecting to be so nervous about it, though. I'm thirty-six. You definitely look younger than that. I know it's never appropriate to ask a woman how old she is, so maybe you'll offer that number up without me asking? And maybe you'll tell me that I'm still within the age range of men you let email you regularly? Please?

Not gonna lie, taking a hot bath sounds amazing right now. And snuggling up in something bigger than an extra long twin bed would be heavenly. And thinking about you doing either of those things is enough to get me through the week with a smile on my face. Maybe even through the rest of the month. Maybe even to the point where I'm in San Diego. You'd look adorable snuggled up in your bed. But then again, when aren't you completely Gorgeous?

I'll be waiting for more air mail and another email.

Yours Truly,

Bradley Bradshaw

"Damn it," you groaned, melting back into your desk chair and shoving a cracker into your mouth. Even if meeting him was going to be a one-off, you still wanted to do this. You still wanted to write back to him and flirt and listen to his voice in the video he sent for your class with Marty the mechanic. You wanted to think about him working out on the aircraft carrier. You still wanted him to call you Gorgeous. You'd write back tonight.

-----------------------

Bradley was taking another video and some more photos in the shop with Marty for your class when one of the admirals stopped by. He jumped to attention and addressed him. "Sir, what can I do for you?"

"Lieutenant Bradshaw, you haven't put in for a phone call. Would you like to?"

Bradley just blinked at him for a few seconds. "I don't really have anyone to call, Sir." But that wasn't completely true. He'd never actually asked you about it, but he wouldn't mind calling your number. Which he didn't even have.

The admiral nodded and said, "Just giving first dibs to my high rankers who haven't made a call home yet. Otherwise you're dismissed, Lieutenant."

As soon as he started to walk away, Bradley found himself following along. "Actually, Sir, I may have changed my mind."

If he was already thinking about Thai food and a picnic on the beach for a first date, he might as well just ask you for your number now. As long as you didn't tell him his age was an issue. As long as you seemed keen on the idea of him calling. So he put his name down on the list, and then he started to sweat. He finished up with Marty, and he headed for the lounge.

When he logged in, he braced himself for another note from Vanessa like he always did now, but the only new item he saw was from you. He decided right then that if the vibes still felt right, he'd ask for permission to call you. And yeah, the vibes were feeling pretty fucking good. 

As soon as he opened the email, the attached photo at the bottom pulled his gaze in like a beacon. You were in bed, mostly under the covers, and the thin straps of some sort of tank top were the only thing preventing him from having a completely unobstructed view of both of your shoulders. Your skin looked impossibly soft, too perfect for him to touch with his rough hands, and your expression was playful and maybe a little nervous. He could see the soft swell of your breasts before the blankets enveloped your body in the most comfortable looking cocoon. He wanted to join you there in the worst way, and keep you warm enough that you wouldn't even need that blanket.

His heart was pounding as he started to read your note.

Bradley,

You know, it's funny you should mention that, because my currently inactive dating app profile says I'm interested in men who are between 30 and 40 years old. So you sound kind of perfect to me. And not that you asked or anything, but I turned 30 earlier this year. I hope that's within the age range of women that you let email you regularly.

I'm writing this from my bed. I have attached a photo. I'm not wearing any makeup, and I'm all snuggled in for the night, and of course I'm thinking about you. Whether it's a good idea or not, I find myself frequently thinking about you.

Your favorite pen pal

He scrolled back to the photo and sighed. Oh, he knew it was a good idea. Maybe you just needed a little bit more convincing, but it was definitely a great idea. That first date was looking better and better in his mind. He wished he could give you an estimate on when he'd be home so the two of you could start planning it. Bradley's stomach was growling for dinner as he pried his eyes away from your photo long enough to type out a message.

Hey, Gorgeous,

You're the only woman I'm going to let email me regularly. And I was right. You do look adorable snuggled up in your bed. That photo is going to keep me up at night wondering how cute you'd look in mine...

It looks like I'll have the opportunity to make a phone call soon, and I'd love to hear your voice. If you want to talk. I can't guarantee I won't sound like an idiot, tripping over my words the whole time, but hey, a guy can dream. Will you let me have your phone number?

Yours Truly,

Bradley

And now, once again, he would wait for you to respond, hoping his luck wasn't about to run out.

------------------------

A phone call! She him your number immediately, Gorgeous! There are some things you need to hear him say in that raspy, sexy voice! Thank you @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 6

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[withahappyrefrain]

could i request jake and meet cute 30 or 38?

I went with 30! Thank you!

"You need to get laid.”

Jessica’s words almost made you choke on your drink. It shouldn’t be a surprise, considering how much she and the rest of the group talked about tonight being the night to find a hot guy to take home.

“I hope they play Hot to Go,” you stated, ignoring her statement.

She playful shook your shoulder, “C’mon! We all agree it’s time you get back out there! And what better place to do so than here?”

Jessica motioned to the rest of the bar, which was currently full of men and women in uniforms.

“Just because y’all have a uniform kink, doesn’t mean I do too,” you retorted, earning a laugh from the rest of the group.

“Hey, the uniform shows they can make a commitment and they have a steady job. That’s a rarity in itself,” Leah remarked, “Plus, Jess is right. What was the last time you tried speaking to someone?”

You didn’t respond, due to the answer being embarrassing. It had been close to a year since your last break up. Every time the prospect of dating was brought up, you were able to counter it with an excuse. Work is too busy. I have a lot going on. I need time for myself. I want to focus on myself.

“Even if you get their number, you don’t have to text them,” Rosa jumped in, sensing your uneasiness, “It’s more so about putting yourself out there, getting back into the swing of things.”

“Besides, there are so many!” Jess exclaimed, “Like look at….oh wait, nevermind. Guy in glasses is totally Leah’s type. Well then there’s……oh he’s cute too. That one is mine, okay?”

Leah elbowed Jess, bringing her back down to Earth, “We can even help you! If you want,” your more sensible friend offered.

“Yes! We’d love to help you!” Jess grabbed your hand, squeezing it as if to contain her excitement.

“If you want,” Rosa added.

“That’s very nice of y’all. But not tonight, okay?” You hoped your firm statement would deter them from any shenanigans.

It did not.

Jessica was literally dragging guys over to the table to talk to you. Rosa was pulling the “haaaave ya met my friend?” card. The only person who seemed to be having a good time was Leah, who was currently sharing a cup of peanuts with the birth control goggles wearing aviator.

Y’all were going to get kicked out of this bar.

Just one number!

Their words rang in your ears. After Jessica brought over what had to be the sixth pilot, you knew you couldn’t take much more. So without warning, you stood up and darted to the bar, leaving Jessica and whatever his name was.

Just one number. You didn’t even have to flirt, you could explain the situation and get a fake number. That would shut your friends up and you wouldn’t have to text the guy back. A win-win situation for all.

There was a wait at the bar, which gave you the perfect amount of time to scope out someone who would take pity on you.

Then you heard Jessica call your name from across the bar. You had to get this over with quickly.

Tapping on the shoulder of the nearest man, you prayed for sweet relief.

Aw fuck, he was hot.

Of course you picked the reincarnation of Adonis, with his chiseled face and broad chest. The short sleeves of his uniform showed off his strong arms, tying in perfectly with his coiffed blonde hair and stunning green eyes. When he cleared his throat, you were reminded that you had tapped him on the shoulder and this beautiful man was expecting you to speak.

“I'm so sorry, but my friends won't stop bothering me until I get someone's number tonight, it doesn't have to be your real one, I'm just so tired of their shenanigans,” you confessed, motioning towards your group of friends who were now watching you from their table.

“Again, it doesn’t have to be your actual number, I just need-”

“Shouldn’t we make it believable?” There was a twang with his words, revealing a Southern upbringing.

Of course he had a cute accent too. The universe really wanted you to suffer tonight. And of course, all you could do was let out a squeak of confusion.

“So your friends believe it?” He explained, his lips forming into a dangerously charming smirk, “Also, I’ve been hoping for a chance to talk to ya ever since you walked through the door."

“I….I don’t know your name,” was the only thing you could get out. Christ, you were stupid.

He chuckled, though it wasn't malicious, “I'm Jake. Can I buy you a drink before giving you my number?”

"You....actually want my number?" You were in disbelief. There was no fucking way. The universe must be playing a trick on you.

Jake nodded, the smile remaining on his face, "Have wanted it since I heard ya laugh."

Maybe tonight would turn out perfectly fine after all.

[missmarveledsblog]

Bet on it ( Bradley bradshaw x reader ) part one

summary : everyone thought since they were best friend that their kids would be but after some unknown reason bradley bradshaw and y/n mitchell hated each other . after confrontation one night that leaves bradley in a dry spell well the guys make a claim and bradley's willing to bet and prove them wrong all he had to do was get into a relationship with the one person that couldn't stand him .

warning : enemies to lovers, bradley bit of a dick in the start not gonna lie , bet trope , age gap ( ten years hes 38 , she 28 ) this series is gonna be a roller coaster of emotions

They were soulmate platonic  where Mav was, goose was not far behind , both mischievous , both good at what they did . best friends til the end of time even if the time was short lived . so naturally people thought it would be the same with their kids and yet they were very wrong. It was like the two were fire and ice constantly going against each other whenever they got close .  there was a break she went to med school as bradley was back at top gun only for their secret feud to fire back up when she was transferred to a hospital right in san diego and of course she was able to win the hearts of the dagger squad and her turning up to the hard deck it was his worst nightmare come true . if they weren’t locked in the childish back and forth it was ignoring the other existence all together which honestly their friends preferred and as aggravating as y/n mitchell could be nothing was going to dampen bradley bradshaws mood tonight. He almost floated over to his friends the moment he step into the hard deck . the smile on his face was almost cheek splitting when they all looked at him . 

“ guess who got a date with the barista” he flashed his dazzling smile pulling the aviator to perch on his nose . 

“  nice even for you chicken” hangman nodded. 

“ well bagman you know i could give you some advice  , i mean i guess it been a dry spell” he shrugged taking his seat beside phoenix who rolled her eyes and called them both “ disgusting pigs”. 

“ yeah i don’t need advice we both now i do well and even better than you” . 

“ god you both ever gonna tire of the hook ups “ she groaned . 

“ hey this could be best date of my life and she could be the one” bradley smirked. 

Before they could even say more the door open and an excited y/n bounded towards them . 

“ i pass the interview i passed it” she yelled excitedly. 

“ wait the internship in new york?” nat asked unsure of how to feel . 

“ yes it’s not til six month from now but  in six month i will be heading to big city and studying under the greats of pediatrics “ she excitedly dance in her spot barely even sparing the usually happy man in her wake. 

“A date with hot ass woman and she leaving jesus this is my lucky day” rooster felt like crying he was so happy. 

“ in six month pornstache … wow playing in the dog park finally worked out good job” she smiled only for jake to lift her up and spin her around . 

“Knew you could do it , what i tell you this morning” he chuckled ruffling her hair. 

“ not to doubt myself “ she smiled bashfully . “ shit there’s my dad i’ll be back “ she giggled rushing off . 

“ or don’t that’s a good option “ rooster smiled. 

“ i don’t get why you don’t like her” fanboy mused . 

“ because you’ll learn like i did she’ll drop you like that no reason” he rolled his eyes sick of his friend constantly going on about how great she was honestly he thought the same one time and well he learned his lesson . 

“ people change or maybe you done something “ jake mused although he may of know more than he let on giving how close he and y/n got over the two years since she came to san diego. 

“ day that happens i’ll sell my bronco “ bradley scoffed. “ going to the mens room if my date comes tell her i’ll be out in a minute” . 

She stood watching the news sinking in from excitement to straight on nerves .  hoping he would show even a hint of happiness for her . 

“ it’s great news but we .. i just got you back” he smiled uneasy . 

“ it’s only a short flight and i’ll be home for holidays come on dad this is once in a lifetime opportunity i’m literally the youngest and female to be accepted on to this programme “ she almost pleaded with him . 

“ how long is it” 

“ two years with a chance to stay on in new york or head back to my residency here which i will because it will earn my spot on more paid job and more opportunities  it’s only two years and i can visit” she repeated . 

“ well i still got you for six months so i better make most of it i am proud of you but your my baby girl too … penny round on me to celebrate my daughters great work” he smiled sadly although he meant it when he said he was proud . 

“ i’ll have this one with you next one with the guys “ she smiled . 

“ sorry i was suppose to meet someone here and i don’t think i can see him “ a woman called making them turn . 

“ who you looking for honey “ penny beamed 

“ bradley bradshaw oh god i have the wrong place don’t i “ she chuckled . 

“  the wrong man i’d run if i was you” another woman scoffed. 

“ you sure he was charming when i met him “ the girls eyes widened . 

“ really rooster is great guy , don’t listen cheryl she as bitter as those gins “ y/n smiled . 

“ yeah great guy when he and hangman used me as pawn in their who can sleep with most women game , i think i was number 8 made me think i was special never felt the spark like it “ 

“ she’s drunk really rooster is great , he’s sweet and listens to good music “  y/n defended more although she didn’t know why he was an ass to her all time even though he was one that hurt her all those years.

“ sure look he already over there high fiving his friend “ cheryl smirked as the other girl eyes narrowed before y/n  could say anything the woman was barrelling over like a storm . 

Now as bradley looked up ready to greet his date what he didn’t expect was the slap across his face or the anger of a bull on her. 

“ you bastard i thought .. shit i thought one decent guy out there til that woman set me straight “ she pointed over at cheryl although bradley misread it  now he was pissed. 

“ whatever she said was crock of shit  trust me” he defended. 

“ so you and some guy called hangman didn’t have a sleezy contest i will not be a part of delete my number asshole “ was all she said before storming out the bar completely . 

“ she has got some nerve” was all bradley said before he storming towards the bar only he wasn’t going for the right person . 

“ what the hell is your problem  what me being happy isn’t good enough you have to ruin it “ he pulled y/n around as she almost looked shocked. 

“ i didn’t … i didn’t do anything” she stuttered out completely confused. 

 “ yeah you told her about stupid game me and hangman had … do you really like ruining things for me i mean life was great til you showed up here making everyone think your some little sweetheart when in actuality  your’re a cold hearted bitch” he scoffed. 

“ and you said he was a great guy” cheryl laughed . 

“ i guess i was wrong, drop dead rooster “ y/n walked off ignoring everyone’s calls . 

“ shit that girl defended you after i told your date what your really like jesus thanks for proving me right”cheryl saunter off playing her bill and leaving . 

“ wait wait what “ he froze . 

“ rooster what the hell .. you two used to love each other now god your at each others throat but never like that ...   i thought you were better than that .. godson or not you talk to her like that again we’re gonna have problems “ mav warned as he headed out the door .  leaving bradley looking like biggest dickhead in the hard deck head low and tail between his legs he headed back to the table the guys were bar nat and jake who probably fixing his fuck up . 

“ wow harsh man” payback whistled lowly . 

“ yeah not my finest moment “ he grumbled . 

That  sentence was like a mantra on his tongue hell he didn’t want to admit it the dry spell he was having which after his outburst completely extended it first couple of week no girl would even look his way hitting another bust as he headed back to the rest of his squad as y/n sat with jake as far as she could barely even looking his way til she ended up smiling at her phone and bidding the rest a farewell , he didn’t want to admit it but the complete freeze out was worse than before the fact she didn’t even give him a second thought was driving him crazy maybe  the dry spell was affecting him more than he thought . 

“ guess it was a bust” fanboy smirked. 

“ losing your status rooster”  javy laughed , 

“ maybe it for the best between him and hangman  they going to sleep through san diego or that was case” bob chuckled . 

“ now what i would love to see is either of them try a relationship they would fold the second things get serious” payback  pointed out . 

“ ok first ouch bob i’m nothing like bagman  and second i could do serious relationship with any girl “ he stood hand on hips . 

“ not any girl “ bob mused . 

“ baby on board is right not any girl “ jake leaned against the pool table maybe it was a risk and shit if it ended badly well he would hate it but he could see it , he could see it the moment she walked into the hard deck two years ago . 

“ i’d bet my bronco on it “ bradley stood falling into the trap hook line and sinker . 

“ you sure you wanna bet on something you’ll lose chicken ?”  he goaded willing him to take the bait . 

“ fuck it your on bagman name her , point her out” he stood toe to toe with the man . 

“ easy y/n “ that damn smile , the cocky one rooster loved to wipe of his face and yet this one was gonna be tough shit did he have it in him. “ you really are a chicken on it “ he had him hook , line  

“ your on “  sinker .

A.N : Let me know if you wanna be added to taglist for future parts

[bodyintheabyssy]

Buck cuddling with Tommy after comforting him post the bee/almost killing gerrard/plane disaster.

“That must have been stressful for Athena too. Most civilians would panic in that situation. Only relying on a phone instructions would be hard. I wish I was in able to help I was visiting my army buddy at a really secure base. Phones had to be turned off , no cable and there were like 2 windows in the whole compound.”

“The kid was amazing too sounds like” Buck says.

“I hope her leg is alright. Maybe she cw still play after a few months.” Tommy says.

“Yea that has to be tough. But I meant the one helping Athena. He was a natural.”

“Helping triage when they had autopilot?” He tilts his head.

“He helped her fly the plane!”

“WHAT?! How old was he?” Tommy asks dumbfounded.

“12? He knew a lot about planes Athena and Bobby said. He helped her point out which buttons to push and some other stuff.” Buck says excited.

Tommy is shocked, “How, did he know that?”

“He likes planes a lot. Read books and played flight simulator, been to the aviation museum.” Buck shrugs.

“You know, I think I should talk to my boss about a tour for a very special kid with a bright future ahead of him.” Tommy smirks. Buck grins, “Oh I bet he would love that!”

They go silent for a minute. “Oh! And a rouge actor snuck into Bobbys fake fire engine when I told him about Athena.”

Tommy raises an eyebrow. “He had this weird fake english accent, and was kinda strange.” Buck frowns.

“He kept asking Bobby a ton of questions and staring at him on the way there. Then he almost got in the way while we were trying to help the passengers after they landed. Bobby said he is like studying him.”

“For his role as an a amateur firefighter on a sitcom?” Tommy raises a brow.

“Maybe he is dedicated ? Or a stalker? I hope he won’t like follow Bobby home or something!” Buck laughs.

“He is probably just a strange actor.” He shrugs.

“Then he kept mentioning training with the men, like an actor bootcamp or something. In the mountains.”

Tommy looks at his phone for a minute then chuckles. “What?” Buck asks smirking.

“The guy’s imdb is peculiar. Hot shots is same type of work he has always had. But his quotes section is so bizarre. He sounds like is always in a bad action movie.”

“He said ‘saddle up!’ In a british accent before we left to help Athena.” Buck laughs.

Tommy puts a hand on his shoulder, “Trust your instincts but remember Bobby can handle himself. Maybe someone can look into him if you are actually concerned like Athena … or it could be something else.”

“Like what?”

“He may be into Bobby.”

Buck tilts his head, Tommy smirks. “He could just have a creepy sexual tension going on.”

“Sexual tension? With Bobby?!”

“He either wants to be him or be under him.” Tommy says simply.

“What?!?”

“Do you blame him.?” Tommy mumbles.

“What?” Buck asks confused.

“What?” Tommy says like he meant to keep that as a private thought.

“Do you want to fuck Bobby?!”

“I wouldn’t actually sleep with Bobby. Plus I only have eyes for you.” Tommy tries to calm Evan down.

“Oh my god. You want to fuck my dad.”

“Not currently!” Tommy laughs.

Evan looks at him perplexed. “As in you wanted to before??!?!!”

“Yeah. I am surprised you didn’t.” Tommy nudges him with his shoulder.

Evan is going through a complex facial & mental journey.

“Objectively Bobby is a hot & was a capable, kind man with authority over me.” Tommy raises his eyebrows.

“Oh wow.” Buck says conflicted.

“And he looks great shirtless.” Tommy chuckles.

Buck looks at him with surprise, “When have you seen him shirtless?”

“We all compared scares one time after work .”

Buck frowns, “I haven’t even seen his scars.”

“The scars were not my main focus at the time,” Tommy shrugs then smiles.

“Why would you tell me this.” Buck shakes his head.

[callsign-fox]

Wingman - Rooster

Pairing: Rooster x Fem!Reader

Been sitting in the drafts/Lightly edited

Written with @fanficgirl429 <3

18+ Only // Enjoy xo

--------------------------------------------------------

When you sign on to be a pilot for the Navy as a female, you know you’ll have to put up with egotistical men on a daily basis, however, it’s not until you have to work with them that you realize how incredibly self centered they actually are. 

The canopy to my jet raised and I quickly climbed down the ladder. My wingman, Rooster, landed right behind me and he was currently maneuvering his jet into the assigned spot beside mine. Rooster was not my first choice for a wingman, he wasn’t my second or third either. It was near impossible to work with him and I was sure our superiors were getting ready to ship one of us off to Guam just to separate us from one another. Fortunately for them, we were two of the best the Navy had to offer and so for that reason alone, we were stuck together. 

I glanced up from my current conversation with my flight crew just as Rooster walked by, his head down and stupid aviator sunglasses shielding his eyes. I rolled my eyes as he continued by not saying a word. Of course he wouldn't say anything, he was the reason we failed the exercise.

“That was a disaster,” I mumbled to myself.

I turned behind me just as my friend Phoenix walked by. “What was going on up there?” she asked, watching    

Bradley as he disappeared into the locker room. 

“I don’t know. Why don’t you go ask Bradley and report it back to me?” 

Phoenix shook her head. “No thanks. I’m slightly terrified of him when he’s angry.” 

I rolled my eyes. “Well, he’s an asshole.”

Phoenix glanced back at the locker room before looking over at me. She lowered her voice as she said, “I have to tell you something about Bradley and it’s probably going to make you mad.” 

“Well if it has to do with Bradley, of course it’s going to make me mad.”

Phoenix sighed and began, “Well, I was at the Hard Deck the other night and ran into Anders. Apparently there is a rumor going around about you back in the Academy.” 

My eyes narrowed in on her and I clenched my fist, “About what?”

“Now don't shoot the messenger, you can be scary sometimes too.” 

“Phoenix!” I yelled, losing my patience. 

“Apparently Bradley started a rumor that the only reason you got into Top Gun was because you…” Phoenix trailed off. 

My heart began to race and I felt my cheeks grow hot. “Because I what?” 

“Because you gave Admiral Rhodes a blow job.” 

“What?” I shrieked and quickly began to walk towards the locker room. 

When I reached the door to the men's locker room, I pulled it open and immediately locked eyes with Hangman. A towel hung off his hips, showing off his incredible abs. I tore my eyes away, feeling a blush creep up my neck. 

“Where is he?” I asked. 

Without hesitating, Hangman pointed towards the back, where I assumed the showers were. There was only one shower being used and I walked over and pushed the white curtain aside. 

“Hey!” a very familiar voice shouted. “What the fuck?” 

I took a step back, not wanting to get wet. Bradley reached out and grabbed his white towel from the hook and wrapped it around his waist. I couldn’t help but notice how well built he was. His six pack abs were on full display and I hated how much I wanted to run my fingers along them. 

“What do you want Y/N?” 

My eyes snapped away from his body and I stared into his brown eyes. “I heard a rumor about me. One that you might happen to know about.” 

Bradley narrowed his eyes and nodded. “Yea, I might happen to know what you’re referring to.” 

“Are you insane? What did I do to you besides tolerate you every damn day for the last four years!”

Bradley shrugged. “I’ve been a delight! You have done nothing but drive me insane.”

“You didn't know, the only reason I’m here is to drive you crazy!”

Bradley laughed. “Nope. The only reason you’re here is because you gave Admiral Rhodes a blow job.” 

My jaw dropped and I couldn't help but growl at him. “That never happened! I hate you so much.”

“Don’t worry sweetheart, the feeling is mutual.” 

I took a step forward and shoved him hard causing him to stumble back into the shower, but before I could react his hand grabbed my wrist, pulling me under the hot stream of water. To my amusement my hands were pressed against his chest, and before I could register what I was doing my nails ran down his toned abs to the top of his towel. The moment was over when I pulled my hands away and brushed them through my now wet hair. 

“Do you have any idea how attractive you are when you’re mad at me?” he said, his voice low. 

His words caught me off guard. “Wait, what?”

The hot water was still running over my body and I was becoming increasingly aware of just how see through my white t-shirt was when I noticed Bradley’s eyes looking down at my chest. 

“I know I shouldn't be this turned on right now, but I am.”

I rolled my eyes and pushed a piece of wet hair behind my ear. “You’re such a prick.”

Bradley ran his tongue along his lower lip and smiled. A moment later his lips came crashing into mine. The urge to push him off of me came and went as my hands snaked around his neck and I began twirling my fingers through his hair. 

His lips moved quickly as he placed his hands on my hips, pulling me closer to him. My body was pressed against his and I could feel his erection against my stomach. My core slightly throbbed, begging to be touched by him. 

Bradley’s fingers toyed with the bottom of my wet t-shirt before he slipped them under and pulled the shirt over my head, barely breaking the kiss. My shirt dropped to the floor and I quickly pushed it away with my foot. By now the rest of the guys would have left, but I pulled the shower curtain shut just in case. 

His lips brushed softly against my neck before pressing against my ear and whispered, “Does that mean you want me to keep going?” 

My fingers toyed with the top of Bradley’s towel as I gave him a slight nod. His hands gripped my waist and he swiftly spun us around so that my back was pressed against the wall. Bradley hurriedly unbuttoned my wet jean shorts and pushed them down my waist before dropping them to the floor. He quickly turned off the water as it began to get cold, but not before our lips were once again intertwined. In the mess of clothes coming off, I hadn’t even noticed his towel dropped to the floor, proving to me that the rumors about how endowed Bradley Bradshaw was, were indeed true. 

“Well, well. I guess I won’t ever be able to spread anymore rumors about how small Rooster is.” 

He pulled back, slightly offended. “Wait, what have you been telling people?” 

I let out a small laugh. “What’s done is done, YOU told people I gave an admiral a blow job.” 

“And if you’re any good at it, I'll be sure to pass that on and your spot in Top Gun will have been well deserved.” 

I gave him a small smack on his arm before reaching over and placing my hand against his chest. My eyes locked with his as I slowly began to run my fingers down his chest and towards his stomach. My polished nails left faint red lines on his skin and Bradley looked all too amused as he watched me drop down to my knees. 

Bradley sucked in his breath as my hand wrapped around him. I slowly moved my hand along his length, which by Bradley’s reaction of pressing his hand to the wall to steady himself, was a good move. I gently grazed my tongue over his tip and his free hand instinctively moved to my long brown hair, giving it a slight tug. I smiled as his hips jerked forward, pushing his length further into my mouth. I didn’t miss a beat as I continued with my lips wrapped around him, causing him to let out a deep moan and pull tighter on my hair.

“Y/N,” Bradley breathed, “you need to stop…now.”

I let out a small chuckle before standing up and Bradley immediately pulled me against him. He placed his lips against mine, kissing me quickly. One hand wrapped around my waist, while the other moved up my stomach and towards my chest. His fingers played with my nipple, causing it to stand erect. With each touch, my core throbbed from being ignored by him. I rubbed my thighs together, trying to ease the tension but Bradley noticed. His hand moved from my chest, along my stomach, and towards my core. 

His calloused fingers ran along my center, coming to a stop at my sensitive spot. Two fingers rubbed against it and I let out a moan. Bradley’s lips continued to move against mine and he slipped two fingers inside me. He moved them against me and I could feel my high quickly approaching with each movement. 

“I’m close,” I told him. 

His fingers continued to move and it didn’t take long before my walls were clenching around him. My legs became weak and Bradley placed his hands on my hips, helping me steady myself. It had been a while since I had an orgasm that intense. 

Once I was able to stand on my own, I reached down and placed my hand on his erection. He took a step closer to me. 

“Are you sure you still want to do this?” he asked. 

“If you ask me one more time, I’m going to walk out of here,” I told him. 

“You’re making it really hard to hate you right now,” Bradley said, while placing a hand on the back of my thigh. 

My leg wrapped around his waist, and without hesitation Bradley pushed his length inside of me, my walls stretching around him. A gasp escaped my lips and Bradley smiled.

“You’re so tight.” 

He gave me a moment to get used to the size before he began to move his hips against mine. 

Each thrust pushed me closer to my second climax of the day. I let out a loud gasp as his length hit the perfect spot. 

Bradley smirked as I continued to melt against his touch. 

“I’m so close,” I whispered. 

He reached down and pressed two fingers against my sensitive spot, rubbing it casually. 

Within moments my walls clenched around him and my legs became weak. The humidity from the shower made our bodies sticky and sweaty, which only helped my arousal. Bradley continued thrusting and seconds later he released inside of me, a moan escaping his lips. 

The two of us stood there for a moment, catching our breaths. Bradley stared at me and I smiled shyly, fully realizing that we were both completely naked. I reached for the towel he had hung on the side of the shower and wrapped it around my waist. 

“That was mine.” 

I stepped out of the shower, reaching down and picking up my soaked t-shirt and shorts that had lazily been pushed aside. “These are the only clothes I have with me. How am I supposed to get home?” 

He walked over to his duffle bag that was sitting on the bathroom bench and pulled out a gray t-shirt. “Here you go. I can get it back from you tomorrow, after training.”

“That would imply I am inviting you over to get it, and I haven’t.” 

“Oh,” Bradley said with a wink. “You will invite me over.” And once again there was that attitude I knew and hated.

[writing-until-i-drop]

Sneak Peek At "A Stepdad For Christmas"

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x single mom! femOC

we've still got so much Jake and Daisy to get through before we meet Olivia and Bonnie but here's a little something

“Look at the eye candy,” Olivia’s fifteen-year-old daughter Bonnie tilted down her heart-shaped shades to get a better look at some Navy men out for a shirtless jog.

“Honey, everyone in uniform is too old for you. As in illegal, too old for you.” She whined then slowly turned to look at her mom with an evil grin, one that Olivia knew did not bode well for her. 

“Mom, I just figured out what I want for Christmas.” Christmas was always a big deal for them and Bonnie always gave her mom a bullet point and color-coded list of what she wanted. But never this early in the year.

“It’s July-”

“I want a hot stepdad,” Olivia debated crashing the car. Only for a split second but still. It would be easier and God would forgive her. He knew what he did when he made teenage daughters. 

“No.” 

“C’mon, Mom. You and dad boinked once to get me and that was it. We share a wall, I know there’s been no one else.” 

“What did I do to deserve this?” Olivia pleaded with whatever God was laughing at her. 

“You helped a gay man con his homophobic father into leaving him millions in inheritance,” Bonnie deadpanned. “That’s why I’m like this.” Olivia rolled her blue eyes, the same blue eyes that were looking back at her in the passenger seat. “But back to it, you need to get laid and I need something that’ll make all the girls want to hang out with the new girl. So hot stepdad, get me one.” 

Olivia was ready to threaten her daughter’s life in the most loving way possible when she caught a glimpse of a man in a khaki uniform climbing out of a blue, vintage Bronco. He was absolutely stunning, a specimen of tanned skin, muscles, and wavy hair that made Olivia suddenly feel very patriotic as he slid off a pair of tinted aviators. Do I have a thing for mustaches? She had never found them attractive before but this mystery man’s mustache was definitely working for her. 

“We’ll see what Santa can do.” Like he heard her, the man turned and caught her eye, winking. Olivia’s cheeks burned, a warmth spreading through her. She might have been married to a gay man who had a string of secret boyfriends but between raising Bonnie and keeping up appearances with Henry in public, she had never “cheated.” 

“Mom, the light’s green,” Bonnie smacked her arm. “We should get coffee before stopping at Aunt Pen’s.” Olivia hummed in acknowledgement, maneuvering to the directions the GPS was dictating over the speaker, her mind consumed with thoughts of mustached men in Navy uniforms. Well. One man in particular. 

Masterlist

Want to join the taglist? Just ask!

[justabigassnerd]

The Talk

Pairing - Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell x daughter!reader, Bradley Bradshaw x Mitchell!reader

Word count - 2,701

Warnings - mentions of sex, lil' splash of angst, fluff

Summary - you and Bradley near the next step in your relationship, however, you worry about it

Sequel to - 'Overprotective Aviators'

A/N - what is up y'all? I appear once more to offer y'all a fic that was a lovely anon request! I had so much fun writing this and I hope I did the idea justice! I won't ramble so as per y'all, please send in requests, feedback and enjoy!!!

It had been almost one year since Bradley asked you out on a date and your relationship was still going strong. It took your dad a good week or so to actually process the fact you were dating his best friend’s son but after a long talk with Bradley which ended with Bradley ensuring he’d do his best by you and wouldn’t break your heart; your dad accepted it. Though it didn’t stop him from insisting you kept your PDA to a minimum when you were in his immediate vicinity.

The further into the relationship you got with Bradley, you started to get more intimate, lingering touches lasted longer than usual. You hadn’t had sex with Bradley, but your mind was screaming at you that you were getting clear signs you were nearing that step in your relationship. You were sure Bradley had much more relationship experience than you. He had girlfriends before he got with you, but Bradley was your first relationship. You had never been massively popular in high school so many boys didn’t look your way. Even if you did have boys throwing themselves at your feet, you were sure your dad would’ve chased them away sharpish.

Carole had quickly caught onto the changes that happened with you. She noticed how you and Bradley were more touchy than usual. How you often went off seeking privacy with him more often than not. She knew Maverick and Goose hadn’t picked up on the changes. She loved the two men dearly, but she knew there wasn’t a thought that occurred in their heads most of the time. She also knew that she should have a conversation with you, woman to woman.

One day, when Bradley was out with Maverick and Goose, working on repairs on the P-51 Mustang Maverick had found himself in possession of, Carole had headed over to your house, knocking on the door and greeting you with a smile.

“Hey, sweetie. Could we have a chat?” Carole asks as you invite her in, following you into the living room and sitting on the sofa as you nod.

“Of course. Is everything okay?” You reply, sitting down on the sofa, leaving a little gap between both you and her as your mind begins to race with worst-case scenarios.

“I just wanted to have a chat with you, woman to woman.” Carole says softly, taking one of your hands in hers and squeezing it softly. You remained silent, confused about what she was getting at.

“Now, sweetheart, I’ve noticed some changes with you and Bradley, and something is telling me you two are nearing that step where you are going to have sex for the first time.” Carole says, getting straight to the point as you feel your face get hot very suddenly.

“What? Carole, I don’t-”

“y/n, don’t bother denying it. I have eyes you know. It’s okay if you want to take that next step together.” Carole says, not letting you try and hide behind a lie. You remain silent for a moment, processing her words and thinking about your own doubts.

“I’m scared.” You admit quietly, dropping your head as Carole squeezes your hand softly, getting you to look at her.

“What are you scared of, sweetie?” Carole asks softly, her gaze never leaving you. She was all too aware that you didn’t have any kind of maternal figure in your life, so she always did her best to be a trusted woman in your life, especially since your dad had a tendency to sleep around and never get in a relationship.

“Bradley’s been in more relationships than me. He probably knows what to do and what not to do with things like that. I’m scared I’m not good enough for him.” You confess, blinking back the tears that threaten to spill past your defences as Carole coos quietly, bringing you into her arms as she rubs a hand up and down your back as she holds you tight.

“Oh y/n/n. You don’t need to worry about that. Bradley is most definitely head over heels for you. I know taking steps like this is scary, but communication is key in relationships, sweetie. Goose and I have to have conversations about things. Every couple needs communication, it’s what keeps relationships afloat. You don’t even need to have the conversation the next time you see him if it doesn’t feel right. Just make sure you do talk about it. I’m sure if you spoke to him, he’d understand. If he doesn’t then just know he’d have some hell to deal with because I did not raise him to be that way.” Carole says, pulling away and grinning when she notices the small smile creeping onto your face. You knew she was right, that relationships required communication and if you just spoke to Bradley, you were sure everything would be okay. Before you could say another word, you hear the front door unlock and Maverick announce his return with Goose and Bradley entering behind.

“Honey, what are you doing here?” Goose says the moment he sees Carole in the living room, immediately sweeping her up into his arms and pressing a delicate kiss upon her lips.

“Just wanted to keep y/n company while you men were gone.” Carole says, grinning up at her husband with loving eyes. Bradley then squeezes past his parents and sits alongside you, pulling you into a quick kiss.

“Hey, don’t push your luck, Bradshaw.” Maverick scolds as you and Bradley pull away from the kiss, smiling softly at each other.

“Dad.” You mutter, glancing over at Maverick who holds his hands up in mock surrender.

“Let’s go sit in the garden, the weather’s beautiful.” Bradley says, tugging you to your feet and leading you to the back door to head out into the garden as the adults watch with soft smiles. The second the two of you are out of sight, Carole turns to Maverick.

“Mav, we need to talk. Alone.”

“Wha- don’t you want to include me in this conversation too, honey?” Goose splutters, looking between Maverick and his wife.

“Nick, honey, I love you, but this is a Maverick thing. Besides, I know he’ll tell you the second the two of you are left alone.” Carole says, looking up at her husband and patting his cheek lovingly as he pouts lightly. Carole then grabs Maverick’s wrist, tugging him into the privacy of the kitchen and turning to face him the moment she hears Goose turning on the tv to occupy himself.

“What did you need to talk about, Carole?” Maverick says, leaning back against the kitchen counter with folded arms.

“You need to speak to your daughter.” Carole says bluntly looking at Maverick who blinks in shock.

“I literally spoke to her a minute ago.” Maverick starts, confused as to where Carole was going with this conversation.

“No. Your daughter is growing up Pete. And growing up means that when she gets into a serious relationship, she’s going to take that big step when she’s ready.” Carole says, watching as Maverick’s eyes narrow in confusion before widening in realisation.

“You don’t mean…” Maverick starts, knowing where Carole was going but hoping he was wrong.

“Sex? Yes, I do mean that.” Carole says as Maverick glances out the kitchen window, seeing you and Bradley curled up together in the hammock.

“I- are you- how did you find out?” Maverick manages to force out, looking back at Carole who bites back an amused grin at Maverick being rendered almost speechless for the first time in his life.

“I spoke to her, woman to woman. I gave her a little advice, but her dad needs to give her the rest.” Carole says, watching as Maverick’s shoulders slacken.

“You’ve given her some advice, why can’t you give her the rest? I���m not a woman.” Maverick says, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

“Pete, I may be a woman but you’re her father. You’re the only parent she has, and she needs her dad to talk to her about this whether you like it or not. She needs you to teach her how to be safe when it comes to sex. I know it's an awkward conversation, believe me, I know. How do you think Goose fared when we gave the talk to Bradley? He couldn’t get a full sentence out, I think he stopped functioning altogether. I know it’s tough when you realise your kid is growing up, but they still need our love and support regardless of their growing independence. Just talk to her Mav.” Carole says, resting a hand on Maverick’s upper arm as she gives him a soft smile. Maverick sighs lightly, but nods his head regardless, looking down at the tiled kitchen floor.

“I’ll talk to her.” Maverick says as he shifts his gaze to look back up at Carole who pats his arm.

“Good. Now, let’s get back to Goose, he might go insane if he’s alone any longer.” Carole laughs lightly, turning around and opening the kitchen door and heading into the living room while Maverick remains rooted in place for a moment, thinking over how to approach the conversation with you, re-joining Carole, and Goose once he had collected his thoughts.

That evening, after the Bradshaw’s had headed home for the night, Maverick was sitting alongside you on the sofa as you watched the tv. Carole’s words echoed around Maverick’s head as he glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. Without warning, Maverick grabbed the remote and muted the tv, ignoring your protests.

“y/n, we need to talk.” Maverick starts, and you immediately have a feeling that you know where this is going.

“Did you speak to Carole?” You ask, fiddling with your fingers as you look down at your hands.

“I’d say she cornered me into the kitchen and spoke to me. But yes, we spoke.” Maverick says after letting out a weak chuckle.

“Dad, I-”

“Squirt, you’re going to need to let me talk, okay?” Maverick politely interrupts, shuffling around to face you properly.

“Carole told me that you reckon that you and Bradley are nearing that next step in your relationship. I need to make sure you know how to be safe when you do make that step. You need to know you have the right to say no if you don’t want to have sex. Don’t let yourself feel pressured into saying yes if you don’t want to. As long as you’re safe and know you have the right to say ‘no’, you’ll be fine. I just want you to be safe.” Maverick says, making you look up at him before he offers you a soft smile before he reaches out, wraps an arm around your shoulders and tugs you into his side.

“Bradley won’t force me to do anything, will he?” You ask, looking up at your dad who softens.

“No, sweetheart. As much as I like to pretend that he annoys me because he’s dating you, I know he’s so in love with you and Goose and Carole raised him to be nothing but respectful. It’s just important that you know that you can say no if you don’t want to have sex.” Maverick assures, rubbing a hand up and down your back before pressing a kiss to the top of your head as you nod against his side.

“I really love Bradley. I’m scared I’m not good enough for him because I don’t have as much relationship experience as him.” You admit quietly, curling further into your dad’s arms like you were little again.

“Oh, y/n/n. Like I said, Bradley is hopelessly in love with you. He’s as in love with you as Goose is in love with Carole. You have nothing to worry about.” Maverick reassures, squeezing you lightly.

“Carole said a similar thing.” You say as you laugh lightly to yourself as you remember Carole’s words from earlier. Maverick didn’t reply, opting to stay silent and relish the feeling of you curled in his arms. He knew you were growing more independent by the day, and that you would reach a point where you wouldn’t want to find solace in your father’s arms anymore, so he relished any moment he got with you.

“I love you, dad.” You mumble, smiling to yourself when you feel your dad press another kiss to the top of your head.

“I love you too, y/n.” Maverick whispers as you return your attention to the muted television, planning on how to approach Bradley with the conversation.

The time for you to speak to Bradley came a couple of days later, Maverick and Goose were at Top Gun, teaching, and Carole was out visiting some friends, so you had gone around to Bradley’s house. The two of you were upstairs in his room and sat on his bed as you kissed each other passionately. As you pulled away, resting your foreheads against each other, Bradley’s hand brushed against your thigh as he moved to set it on your hip. You tensed up at the contact and Bradley noticed, immediately pulling away and looking at you worriedly.

“Are you okay?” Bradley asked, his eyes searching yours as you silently scold yourself for flinching at Bradley’s touch. You’d never flinched at his touch before, but you knew why you had done so. It was time to have the conversation you were most fearing.

“Bradley, I feel like we’re getting close to that step in our relationship where we… you know… have sex and I’m going to be honest; I’m terrified I’m not going to be good enough for you. You’ve been in relationships before, and I don’t know how well I measure up to old girlfriends you had.” You ramble, opening your mouth to speak more but being stopped by Bradley gently resting a finger on your lips to silence you.

“Honey, let me talk for a moment, okay? It’s okay if you don’t have much relationship experience, we all start somewhere. I don’t know everything about relationships. I love you, and there’s no rush about anything. We don’t have to have sex or anything unless we’re both ready. There’s no rush for anything. Yes, we’re getting a bit more intimate but that doesn’t mean we have to be leaping into anything if we’re not ready. We can take it slow, that’s more than okay.” Bradley says, his gentle smile never leaving his face as he speaks, his finger moving from your lip so he can cup your face gently, his smile widening as you leaned into his touch.

“I love you too Bradley. Sorry for blurting all that out, I’ve just been panicking for a couple of days.” You apologise, attempting to bury your face in his palm. Bradley carefully removes his hand so he can see you properly.

“There’s my beautiful girl. It’s okay. I’m glad we talked about this. My parents always tell me that communication is important. I also want to be sure you know you can always come to me to talk if you need to.” Bradley says softly, leaning in and pressing his forehead to yours as a smile breaks out across your face.

“And you can always talk to me if you need.” You say, quickly leaning closer to press a quick kiss to Bradley’s lips. Just as you pull away, Bradley grabs your waist and pulls you back in, kissing you again as you bite back a giggle at your boyfriend’s sudden movement.

“Is this okay?” Bradley asks as he pulls away, his eyes flicking down to his hands before looking back up at you.

“More than okay.” You confirm, kissing him once more until the need for air becomes too much.

“As much as I’d love to keep kissing you. I had a date idea. There’s that new mini-golf place that has just opened along the beach. I was thinking we could go there and test it out, a bit of fun and competition.” Bradley says after pulling away and a cheeky smile crosses his face.

“I hope you’re ready to lose Bradshaw.” You say, a smirk covering your face.

“In your dreams, Mitchell.”

[the-disemvoweler]

coward.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry.

Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary.

Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.

What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees.

We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out.

Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! -

I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing.

You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer?

No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman?

Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die!

You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check.

Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic.

That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him?

I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans.

I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure!

There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say?

I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess.

"Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church.

The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it?

You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me?

Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? -

Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s!

One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee?

How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything?

All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane!

You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here?

For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier?

I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no!

A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours.

Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead.

Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey?

That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt.

No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"?

Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee?

Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit.

This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding.

All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson?

Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you.

No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005.

Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left.

I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that?

Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them!

Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends?

Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection!

I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain?

Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over?

Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence?

Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps,?

Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal.

Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody?

Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me?

This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry?

Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got.

Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. -

The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job.

Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke?

No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres.

They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep!

Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!

You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance.

We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number!

:3

Absolutely not

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

What did the Roche/Ciri ship do to you? Why is he bad? Is his existence simply an insult to you?

okay, anon, you've won me over.

i've written a roche/ciri fic just for you. It's about fighting injustice, realising the world is so much bigger than you ever realised, bonding over feeling different, finding love in unexpected places even when everyone else is against your relationship, and a shared love of music.

I've put it under the cut because its quite long. Enjoy!

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second.

Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead.

I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? -

A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know.

But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that.

A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now.

I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone.

Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.

Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow!

Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power.

More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative.

Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.

What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement?

I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there.

- Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess.

"Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do.

Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee.

Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. -

Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite!

She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working?

I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease.

Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! -

It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves.

Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. -

Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no!

[literally-hottopic]

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming!

Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special

day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distin

guished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked

your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest

advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the

difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly

functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know w

hat it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not

planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too

much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my th

roat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybeyou're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get

bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son'

s not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call

everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your

choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadifie

d. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got

the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey,

guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be

careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fa

st and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash

over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Sa

y again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad.

Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car

! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the windo

please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.

They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to

them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out i

s also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not suppose

d to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed.

Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very

funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. -

Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought

you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a

doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on t

eir toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was

nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. -

How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You

wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they

eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinkin

g bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't

respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the

roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very

carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is

pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating,

cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard

something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened

here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A

wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny

screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack.

See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring

your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's

going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our

honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still

stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action

news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our stud

io, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in

this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard

'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of

weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you.

Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon

bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This

lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a

honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The

Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the

bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be usin

g laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us

'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own

Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean

like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you

haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated

congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your

lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on ou

r side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your

resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old

stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not

as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are

other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't

overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you

allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real

parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of

destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the

honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You t

hink it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some b

ees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don

't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going

to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work c

amps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You

know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time

, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything

more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack

garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't

believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked

our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's

amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's

notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa?

Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses.

Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought

maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena,

Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I

could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your

shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the

talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please

hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not

good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob

Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We h

ave a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big dif

ference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm

not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee,

Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flo

wer. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked

! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain.

Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved

. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too?

I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?!

- Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody.

[callsigndragon]

Duck duck Goose | Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw

Pairing: Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw x Naval Aviator!reader (call sign: Hummingbird)

Wordcount: 1485

Warnings: boys being idiots towards reader, FLUFF, ANGST, mentions of Goose's accident. FIX IT FIC BC I CAN.

A/N: I'm not tagging the usual people bc this is not... Top Gun Maverick. If anyone wants to be in my forever tag list, hit me up.

Special thanks to my darling @purplevortexx, always ready to help when i get stuck.

"Did you hear it?" Mav asks Goose, waiting for the waiter to give him another beer. 

"Well, I hear a lot of things you gotta be a bit more specific here, buddy" 

"There's a female pilot in the program" 

That wasn't exactly what he had expected to hear. He knew there were female backseaters, but female pilots? 

That girl is either crazy or the biggest badass to ever walk the Earth. 

He can't wait to meet you. 

"Hey, sweetcheeks, I'm hungry, can you make me a sandwich or something?" Hollywood teases you, for the hundredth time. 

You stopped paying attention to him after the first week, but it's getting annoying. 

"I don't know, Rick, why don't you ask your boyfriend over there?" you point in Wolfe's direction. "Maybe he can give you something to eat" 

Goose's laugh is so loud that you can hear it from the other side of the hallway. It makes you smile. Honestly, he and Maverick are the only reasons you haven't left the academy. 

Other than your RIO, Lucky, they were the only two men here that were supportive of you. Iceman sometimes said that you were better to fly with than Maverick. 

Not sure if that was a compliment or not. 

"Hummingbird, you need to stop it. Poor Hollywood here doesn't even know how to spell his name properly, you can't expect him to know how to address young ladies like you" Goose mocks, putting his arm around your shoulder.

You have to bite your lip to suppress the laugh. Nick has been very touchy with you, always checking to see if you're okay, if you need anything. When Maverick, Goose, you, and Lucky had been partnered on an exercise, he insisted on listening to your opinion before letting Mav do anything on his own. 

Falling for someone who gives you that much attention and who respects your job, is the easiest thing you've ever done. 

He is married and has a child, though, according to what you've heard. A kid! How can you even think of a married man that way? 

“Birdie, we’re going out for some drinks. Wanna come with us?” He whispers in your ear, his breath making you shiver. 

“Sure, let me go get changed” 

“So, how’s baby Goose?” you finally ask after finishing your second beer. The golden liquid gives you the courage you lacked. 

“My sweet Bradley! Let me show you a picture,” he smiles, pulling out a picture of his jacket. You see a little version of him in Goose’s arms, next to a beautiful woman. “There he is” 

“Oh, is that Mrs. Bradshaw?” 

“She was. Now she’s just my friend. And the mother of my son” 

You look at him, expecting to see a sad look on his face. He seems happy, however. As if the two of them were better friends than they ever were as spouses. 

“People don’t usually talk about their ex with a happy smile, you know?” 

“Well, we’re not a normal case. We met young, fell in love, I became an aviator and when she got pregnant she asked me to be more careful but…” 

"You can never be too careful when flying with Maverick," you finish, and he nods. “But it’s good that you’re friends. That will make things so much easier for Bradley” 

“Yeah, it’s our main priority. He was a bit confused on Christmas when he went from Carole’s house to mine, but he got more gifts and that’s all he could care about” you can’t help but laugh. He leans over the bar top, his head resting on his hand, and looks at you, with the sweetest smile. “He would like you” 

“Me?” you ask, getting a bit closer to him. 

“He loves hummingbirds.” His free hand slowly moves from his beer to your cheek as he caresses it. His cold fingers contrast deliciously with your hot skin. “And I’m beginning to like them too” 

You move slowly towards each other, attracted like magnets. You close your eyes, wetting your lips, and getting ready to kiss him, when Mav’s voice interrupts you. "COME HERE, GOOSE! There’s this girl I want you to- Oh. Did I interrupt something?” 

You chuckle and pat Mav’s back before you leave. 

“Did I really interrupt something?” 

“I’m gonna choke you” Goose groans while he watches your figure leaving the bar.

The next few weeks go by, with both of you being incredibly obvious about your feelings but neither of you making a move. Small smiles whenever you two made eye contact. Finger-brushing whenever you two stood together. Sweet and loving little notes kept appearing on your locker, and the most special one had a little doodle of a hummingbird. You found a special place for it in your cockpit. 

And yet, neither of you dared to say what was evident to everybody else. 

Today’s exercise should have been easier. That was until Maverick and Goose’s aircraft got caught in Iceman’s jet wash. You’re on the base, you’ve been waiting for them to complete their exercise and come back, making you, Hollywood, and Woflman the next ones to perform the exercise. 

You hear everything on the radio. Maverick trying to reach the ejection handles, but the spinning force of the F-14 made it impossible for him to do it. Goose is trying too, and succeeds, but something goes wrong. 

The rescue team leaves immediately; the exercise is long forgotten. You and Lucky go inside, waiting to hear any news. Viper informs all of you that Goose got hit, but they don’t know the severity of his injuries. 

Is this it? Are you going to lose someone as marvelous as he is? Did you waste the last few weeks flirting like idiots when the two of you could have been together? 

Will you ever hear his loud laugh again? Will you ever hold his hand properly? Will you ever hear him call you ‘birdie’ again? 

It’s been an hour, and you don’t have more news. Maverick is in the hospital, too, but you know he won’t leave Goose’s side until the RIO is either safe or dead. 

At this point, you’re beginning to believe it’s the latest. 

You’re sitting on the floor of the locker room, Goose’s sweet notes in your hands. You hold them tightly, praying to God to give him enough strength to survive. You just found someone you can imagine spending your life with. 

Don’t take him away from me now.

“I’ve been looking for you, birdie”

You raise your head slowly, afraid that your brain is deceiving you. That the voice, and the owner, are just figments of your imagination. 

But they're not. He's there. 

Bloody and covered in bandages. 

But alive. 

And smiling. 

"I thought you were dead" you whisper, watching as he silently sits in front of you. 

"I was for a second. Cause I thought that I would never see you again. And that killed me inside for a moment, but... I'm here. And I don't want to waste one more second of my life not being with you" 

“Goose, I-”

He presses one finger over his lips, making you stop talking and look at him. He leans over, his lips quickly replacing his finger. One of you is crying, you can feel the salty tears on your lips, the bittersweet aftertaste remaining on your tongue while you pull away. 

“Goose, where the fuck are-. Why am I always interrupting you two?” Maverick laughs, watching you two sitting on the floor. 

“You’re late this time, Mav” Goose says, his eyes never leaving yours. “You’re late” 

“And she’s good with you leaving the hospital when you weren’t supposed to?” Mav leans on the door when he sees the confusion in your face. “You didn’t tell her” 

“Nicholas Bradshaw, you did not leave the hospital without authorization” 

“Honey, I knew you would be so scared I had to tell you I was okay” he tries to convince you that him leaving the ER was justified, but you’re not having it. 

“There’s this thing called the telephone. Ever heard of it? It allows you to call people and tell them: ‘Hey birdie, I’m not dead. Can you come here? I have to tell you something’”

“Oh, feisty, I like her” Mav comments, enjoying every second of the situation. 

“But I had to see you. I couldn’t stop bleeding without seeing your face” 

“Goose, you’re making it worse” you warn him. 

He sighs, pecks your lips and gets up. “Are you coming with me to the hospital, at least?” he pouts.

You shake your head and roll your eyes. “You’re a big baby, you know?”

“Your big baby. And Mav’s. You have shared custody” 

You snort, looking at the two aviators. “You better start walking before I kick your asses” 

“Goose, your wife scares me” 

“She’s not my wife!” 

“Like hell you’re not marrying this one” 

[roosterforme]

MRN headcanons???? Don't mind if I do

What about the first time Jake brings her on base to see his gear/plane? Maybe he takes her up in the air?

The first time she visits him on base, she already knows the rest of the Daggers. So they aren't surprised to see her there. The person who is surprised is Maverick.

When Jake left his lunch at home by accident, you texted him and promised you'd bring it over for him by midday. It was spring break, and not only did you have nothing better to do, you were itching to see what North Island was like.

"You look ridiculously hot in this thing," you whispered against Jake's lips as you ran your hand down the front of his flight suit, skimming the patches with your nails. "Why don't you ever wear it for me?"

He grunted, clearly wanting to do more than just give you soft kisses right now, but the two of you were alone in the aviators' rec room on base during his lunch break. "Don't want you to have to smell all the jet fuel fumes, Darlin'."

You got another kiss just as your hand skimmed low enough that you knew he could feel the pressure along his cock even with his compression shorts on. You were rewarded with a smirk and another little grunt before you pulled your hand away just in time for the door to swing open.

"Captain Mitchell," Jake groaned as you took a step away from him.

The older man's eyes were not unkind as he pulled his aviators down his nose and looked between the two of you. He cleared his throat and said, "The graduate students on the aeronautics tour have gone upstairs into the tower, Miss. Do you need me to show you the way?"

You gaped at him as Jake cradled his forehead in his hand and blushed. "Maverick, this is my girlfriend. Darlin' this is my boss."

Now both men were blushing as you stumbled forward to shake his hand. "It's very nice to meet you," Captain Mitchell said with a small smile.

You glanced back at Jake and winked before you said, "That tour actually sounds fascinating. Any chance I could join it?"

Maverick nodded, clearly still embarrassed, but he said, "Absolutely. I'll walk you up."

[opuntie]

Statement of Hazel Rutter regarding a fire in her childhood home. Original statement given August 9th, 1992. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, The Archivist. Statement begins.

Hello, John.

Apologies for the deception, but I wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself.

I’m assuming you’re alone; you always did prefer to read your statements in private. I wouldn’t try too hard to stop reading; there’s every likelihood you’ll just hurt yourself. So just listen.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello? Barry? Adam? Can you believe this is happening? I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs, Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. You got lint on your fuzz. Ow! That's me! Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! Hey, Adam. Hey, Barry. Is that fuzz gel? A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around The Hive. You did come back different. Hi, Barry. Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. Hear about Frankie? Yeah. You going to the funeral? No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances. Well, Adam, today we are men. We are! Bee-men. Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of 9:15. That concludes our ceremonies And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick our job today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. Wonder what it'll be like? A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to The Hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! That girl was hot. She's my cousin! She is? Yes, we're all cousins. Right. You're right. At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. What do you think he makes? Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. What does that do?

Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it.

Saves us millions.

Can anyone work on the Krelman?

Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones.

But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot.

But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life.

The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that.

What's the difference?

You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years.

So you'll just work us to death?

We'll sure try.

Wow! That blew my mind!

"What's the difference?"

How can you say that?

One job forever?

That's an insane choice to have to make.

I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.

But, Adam, how could they never have told us that?

Why would you question anything? We're bees.

We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.

You ever think maybe things work a little too well here?

Like what? Give me one example.

I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about.

Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach.

Wait a second. Check it out.

Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!

Wow.

I've never seen them this close.

They know what it's like outside The Hive.

Yeah, but some don't come back.

Hey, Jocks!

Hi, Jocks!

You guys did great!

You're monsters!

You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!

I wonder where they were.

I don't know.

Their day's not planned.

Outside The Hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.

You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that.

Right.

Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.

It's just a status symbol.

Bees make too much of it.

Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it.

Those ladies?

Aren't they our cousins too?

Distant. Distant.

Look at these two.

Couple of Hive Harrys.

Let's have fun with them.

It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock.

Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!

He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me!

Oh, my!

I never thought I'd knock him out.

What were you doing during this?

Trying to alert the authorities.

I can autograph that.

A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades?

Yeah. Gusty.

We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.

Six miles, huh?

Barry!

A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it.

Maybe I am.

You are not!

We're going 0900 at J-Gate.

What do you think, buzzy-boy?

Are you bee enough?

I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means.

Hey, Honex!

Dad, you surprised me.

You decide what you're interested in?

Well, there's a lot of choices.

But you only get one.

Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?

Son, let me tell you about stirring.

You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around.

You get yourself into a rhythm.

It's a beautiful thing.

You know, Dad, the more I think about it,

maybe the honey field just isn't right for me.

You were thinking of what, making balloon animals?

That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger.

Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey!

Barry, you are so funny sometimes.

I'm not trying to be funny.

You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer!

You're gonna be a stirrer?

No one's listening to me!

Wait till you see the sticks I have.

I could say anything right now.

I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!

Let's open some honey and celebrate!

Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!

I'm so proud.

We're starting work today!

Today's the day.

Come on! All the good jobs will be gone.

Yeah, right.

Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal…

Is it still available?

Hang on. Two left!

One of them's yours! Congratulations!

Step to the side.

What'd you get?

Picking crud out. Stellar!

Wow!

Couple of newbies?

Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!

Make your choice.

You want to go first?

No, you go.

Oh, my. What's available?

Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think.

Any chance of getting the Krelman?

Sure, you're on.

I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.

Wax monkey's always open.

The Krelman opened up again.

What happened?

A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one.

Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.

Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!

Oh, this is so hard!

Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler.

Barry, what do you think I should… Barry?

Barry!

All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine…

What happened to you?

Where are you?

I'm going out.

Out? Out where?

Out there.

Oh, no!

I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life.

You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?

Another call coming in.

If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today.

Hey, guys.

Look at that.

Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?

Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.

It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.

Really? Feeling lucky, are you?

Sign here, here. Just initial that.

Thank you.

OK.

You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain.

So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats.

Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us.

Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada!

That's awful.

And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans!

All right, launch positions!

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

Black and yellow!

Hello!

You ready for this, hot shot?

Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.

Wind, check.

Antennae, check.

Nectar pack, check.

Wings, check.

Stinger, check.

Scared out of my shorts, check.

OK, ladies,

let's move it out!

Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers!

All of you, drain those flowers!

Wow! I'm out!

I can't believe I'm out!

So blue.

I feel so fast and free!

[warringwarrioridiot]

The entire bee movie in one post no grammar issues, cuts, etc.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow!

Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Coming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

Barry?

Adam?

Can you believe this is happening?

I can't.

I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs, Your father paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate.

We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

You got lint on your fuzz.

Ow! That's me!

Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.

Bye!

Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

Hey, Adam.

Hey, Barry.

Is that fuzz gel?

A little. Special day, graduation.

Never thought I'd make it.

Three days grade school, three days high school.

Those were awkward.

Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around The Hive.

You did come back different.

Hi, Barry. Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

Hear about Frankie?

Yeah.

You going to the funeral?

No, I'm not going.

Everybody knows, sting someone, you die.

Don't waste it on a squirrel.

Such a hothead.

I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.

I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day.

That's why we don't need vacations.

Boy, quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances.

Well, Adam, today we are men.

We are!

Bee-men.

Amen!

Hallelujah!

Students, faculty, distinguished bees,

please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of 9:15.

That concludes our ceremonies And begins your career at Honex Industries!

Will we pick our job today?

I heard it's just orientation.

Heads up! Here we go.

Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.

Wonder what it'll be like?

A little scary.

Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group.

This is it!

Wow.

Wow.

We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life.

Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to The Hive.

Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey!

That girl was hot.

She's my cousin!

She is?

Yes, we're all cousins.

Right. You're right.

At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence.

These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology.

What do you think he makes?

Not enough.

Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.

What does that do?

Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it.

Saves us millions.

Can anyone work on the Krelman?

Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones.

But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot.

But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life.

The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that.

What's the difference?

You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years.

So you'll just work us to death?

We'll sure try.

Wow! That blew my mind!

"What's the difference?"

How can you say that?

One job forever?

That's an insane choice to have to make.

I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.

But, Adam, how could they never have told us that?

Why would you question anything? We're bees.

We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.

You ever think maybe things work a little too well here?

Like what? Give me one example.

I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about.

Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach.

Wait a second. Check it out.

Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!

Wow.

I've never seen them this close.

They know what it's like outside The Hive.

Yeah, but some don't come back.

Hey, Jocks!

Hi, Jocks!

You guys did great!

You're monsters!

You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!

I wonder where they were.

I don't know.

Their day's not planned.

Outside The Hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.

You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that.

Right.

Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.

It's just a status symbol.

Bees make too much of it.

Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it.

Those ladies?

Aren't they our cousins too?

Distant. Distant.

Look at these two.

Couple of Hive Harrys.

Let's have fun with them.

It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock.

Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!

He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me!

Oh, my!

I never thought I'd knock him out.

What were you doing during this?

Trying to alert the authorities.

I can autograph that.

A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades?

Yeah. Gusty.

We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.

Six miles, huh?

Barry!

A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it.

Maybe I am.

You are not!

We're going 0900 at J-Gate.

What do you think, buzzy-boy?

Are you bee enough?

I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means.

Hey, Honex!

Dad, you surprised me.

You decide what you're interested in?

Well, there's a lot of choices.

But you only get one.

Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?

Son, let me tell you about stirring.

You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around.

You get yourself into a rhythm.

It's a beautiful thing.

You know, Dad, the more I think about it,

maybe the honey field just isn't right for me.

You were thinking of what, making balloon animals?

That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger.

Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey!

Barry, you are so funny sometimes.

I'm not trying to be funny.

You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer!

You're gonna be a stirrer?

No one's listening to me!

Wait till you see the sticks I have.

I could say anything right now.

I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!

Let's open some honey and celebrate!

Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!

I'm so proud.

We're starting work today!

Today's the day.

Come on! All the good jobs will be gone.

Yeah, right.

Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal...

Is it still available?

Hang on. Two left!

One of them's yours! Congratulations!

Step to the side.

What'd you get?

Picking crud out. Stellar!

Wow!

Couple of newbies?

Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!

Make your choice.

You want to go first?

No, you go.

Oh, my. What's available?

Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think.

Any chance of getting the Krelman?

Sure, you're on.

I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.

Wax monkey's always open.

The Krelman opened up again.

What happened?

A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one.

Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.

Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!

Oh, this is so hard!

Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler.

Barry, what do you think I should... Barry?

Barry!

All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine...

What happened to you?

Where are you?

I'm going out.

Out? Out where?

Out there.

Oh, no!

I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life.

You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?

Another call coming in.

If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today.

Hey, guys.

Look at that.

Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?

Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.

It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.

Really? Feeling lucky, are you?

Sign here, here. Just initial that.

Thank you.

OK.

You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain.

So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats.

Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us.

Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada!

That's awful.

And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans!

All right, launch positions!

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

Black and yellow!

Hello!

You ready for this, hot shot?

Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.

Wind, check.

Antennae, check.

Nectar pack, check.

Wings, check.

Stinger, check.

Scared out of my shorts, check.

OK, ladies,

let's move it out!

Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers!

All of you, drain those flowers!

Wow! I'm out!

I can't believe I'm out!

So blue.

I feel so fast and free!

Box kite!

Wow!

Flowers!

This is Blue Leader, We have roses visual.

Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.

Roses!

30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.

Stand to the side, kid.

It's got a bit of a kick.

That is one nectar collector!

Ever see pollination up close?

No, sir.

I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one.

See that? It's a little bit of magic.

That's amazing. Why do we do that?

That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.

Cool.

I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow, Could be daisies, Don't we need those?

Copy that visual.

Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move.

Say again? You're reporting a moving flower?

Affirmative.

That was on the line!

This is the coolest. What is it?

I don't know, but I'm loving this color.

It smells good.

Not like a flower, but I like it.

Yeah, fuzzy.

Chemical-y.

Careful, guys. It's a little grabby.

My sweet lord of bees!

Candy-brain, get off there!

Problem!

Guys!

This could be bad.

Affirmative.

Very close.

Gonna hurt.

Mama's little boy.

You are way out of position, rookie!

Coming in at you like a missile!

Help me!

I don't think these are flowers.

Should we tell him?

I think he knows.

What is this?!

Match point!

You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it!

Yowser!

Gross.

There's a bee in the car!

Do something!

I'm driving!

Hi, bee.

He's back here!

He's going to sting me!

Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze!

He blinked!

Spray him, Granny!

What are you doing?!

Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable.

I gotta get home.

Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain.

Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!

Ken, could you close the window please?

Ken, could you close the window please?

Check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out.

Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.

What was that?

Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes!

That is diabolical.

It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.

What's number one? Star Wars?

Nah, I don't go for that... kind of stuff.

No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds.

When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.

There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.

I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it.

I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me.

Wait! Stop! Bee!

Stand back. These are winter boots.

Wait!

Don't kill him!

You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me!

Why does his life have less value than yours?

Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement?

I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling.

My brochure!

There you go, little guy.

I'm not scared of him.It's an allergic thing.

Put that on your resume brochure.

My whole face could puff up.

Make it one of your special skills.

Knocking someone out is also a special skill.

Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.

Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?

Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.

You could put carob chips on there.

Bye.

Supposed to be less calories.

Bye.

I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something.

All right, here it goes.

Nah.

What would I say?

I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human.

I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to.

Oh, I can't do it. Come on!

No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't.

How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good.

Here she comes! Speak, you fool!

Hi!

I'm sorry. You're talking.

Yes, I know.

You're talking!

I'm so sorry.

No, it's OK. It's fine.

I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed.

Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting.

This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!

I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me.

And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised.

That was a little weird. I'm talking with a bee.

Yeah.

I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me!

I just want to say I'm grateful.

I'll leave now.

Wait! How did you learn to do that?

What?

The talking thing.

Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.

That's very funny.

Yeah.

Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with.

Anyway... Can I... get you something?

Like what?

I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee?

I don't want to put you out.

It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.

It's just coffee.

I hate to impose.

Don't be ridiculous!

Actually, I would love a cup.

Hey, you want rum cake?

I shouldn't.

Have some.

No, I can't.

Come on!

I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.

Where?

These stripes don't help.

You look great!

I don't know if you know anything about fashion.

Are you all right?

No.

He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison.

He finally gets there.

He runs up the steps into the church.

The wedding is on.

And he says, "Watermelon?

I thought you said Guatemalan.

Why would I marry a watermelon?"

Is that a bee joke?

That's the kind of stuff we do.

Yeah, different.

So, what are you gonna do, Barry?

About work? I don't know.

I want to do my part for The Hive, but I can't do it the way they want.

I know how you feel.

You do?

Sure.

My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.

Really?

My only interest is flowers.

Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan.

Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it?

You're in Sheep Meadow!

Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!

No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once.

Why do girls put rings on their toes?

Why not?

It's like putting a hat on your knee.

Maybe I'll try that.

You all right, ma'am?

Oh, yeah. Fine.

Just having two cups of coffee!

Anyway, this has been great.

Thanks for the coffee.

Yeah, it's no trouble.

Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life.

Are you...?

Can I take a piece of this with me?

Sure! Here, have a crumb.

Thanks!

Yeah.

All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not.

OK, Barry.

And thank you so much again... for before.

Oh, that? That was nothing.

Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...

This can't possibly work.

He's all set to go.

We may as well try it.

OK, Dave, pull the chute.

Sounds amazing.

It was amazing!

It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.

Humans! I can't believe you were with humans!

Giant, scary humans!

What were they like?

Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.

They eat crazy giant things.

They drive crazy.

Do they try and kill you, like on TV?

Some of them. But some of them don't.

How'd you get back?

Poodle.

You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see.

You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal.

Well...

Well?

Well, I met someone.

You did? Was she Bee-ish?

A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!

No, no, no, not a wasp.

Spider?

I'm not attracted to spiders.

I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face.

So who is she?

She's... human.

No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law.

Her name's Vanessa.

Oh, boy.

She's so nice. And she's a florist!

Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!

We're not dating.

You're flying outside The Hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite!

She saved my life! And she understands me.

This is over!

Eat this.

This is not over! What was that?

They call it a crumb.

It was so stingin' stripey!

And that's not what they eat.

That's what falls off what they eat!

You know what a Cinnabon is?

No.

It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up...

Sit down!

...really hot!

Listen to me!

We are not them! We're us.

There's us and there's them!

Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning?

There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me!

You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee!

Thinking bee.

Thinking bee.

Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

There he is. He's in the pool.

You know what your problem is, Barry?

I gotta start thinking bee?

How much longer will this go on?

It's been three days! Why aren't you working?

I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about.

What life? You have no life!

You have no job. You're barely a bee!

Would it kill you to make a little honey?

Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you.

Martin, would you talk to him?

Barry, I'm talking to you!

You coming?

Got everything?

All set!

Go ahead. I'll catch up.

Don't be too long.

Watch this!

Vanessa!

We're still here.

I told you not to yell at him.

He doesn't respond to yelling!

Then why yell at me?

Because you don't listen!

I'm not listening to this.

Sorry, I've gotta go.

Where are you going?

I'm meeting a friend.

A girl? Is this why you can't decide?

Bye.

I just hope she's Bee-ish.

They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena?

To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!

Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering.

A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events?

No. All right, I've got one.

How come you don't fly everywhere?

It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster.

Yeah, OK, I see, I see.

All right, your turn.

TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane!

You don't have that?

We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease.

Oh, my.

Dumb bees!

You must want to sting all those jerks.

We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us.

So you have to watch your temper.

Very carefully.

You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust.

Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?

Yeah.

What is wrong with you?!

It's a bug.

He's not bothering anybody.

Get out of here, you creep!

What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?

Yeah, it was. How did you know?

It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.

You've really got that down to a science.

I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.

I'll bet.

What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this?

How did this get here? cute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select?

Is he that actor?

I never heard of him.

Why is this here?

For people. We eat it.

You don't have enough food of your own?

Well, yes.

How do you get it?

Bees make it.

I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it!

There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing!

It's organic.

It's our-ganic!

It's just honey, Barry.

Just what?!

Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing!

You've taken our homes, schools,hospitals! This is all we have!

And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this.

I'm getting to the bottom of all of this!

Hey, Hector. You almost done?

Almost.

He is here. I sense it.

Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around.

You're busted, box boy!

I knew I heard something.

So you can talk!

I can talk. And now you'll start talking!

Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier?

I don't understand.

I thought we were friends.

The last thing we want to do is ups

[psuedochakra]

Hot for Teacher - 1

1986, Miramar, CA

As far as naval air stations went, Maverick only had good things to say about Miramar. And the only good thing was that Commander Metcalf didn't bounce Mav as soon as he did something stupid. Oh, wait. No. He wasn't a commander anymore. Fancy pants admiral over there.

When your favorite admiral asks you to fill in as an instructor, you accept. Especially when Maverick’s other option was a questionably long deployment in the Mediterranean. Normally, Maverick wouldn’t mind. But he had just finished up [redacted] months doing [redacted] . Maverick deserved a break. Teaching at TOPGUN had to be easier than [redacted] .

Mav even came to base on the weekend. Only because Viper had asked because Mav needed to meet the other instructors. He waltzed his way to the offices. Maverick would even have an office. He’d have to dig out some photos to put up. 

“Pete Mitchell,” a voice called as he walked toward the offices, “You’re still kicking?”

“Charlie Blackwood,” Maverick smiled. “You’re still slumming it with us naval aviators?”

Charlie laughed. She had a lovely laugh. Sparkling, warm. She also belonged to the list of powerful men's daughters that Mav kept track of in his head. He definitely didn’t need another family mad at him. Between the Blackwoods and the Benjamins, the Blackwoods would be the worst option. At least what happened with Penny Benjamin was a misunderstanding. Admiral Benjamin wasn't very understanding of it, but Penny smoothed it over. Somehow. 

“Where’s Viper?” Maverick asked.

“At home. It’s Sunday,” Charlie replied with a shrug. “Here’s your office.”

The little sign by the door labeled it as Jester’s office. The office was pretty big considering there were two desks shoved in there. The windows overlooked the tarmac.

“I thought I was filling in for Jester,” Mav tapped the sign as they entered the room.

“You are. Talk to Viper if you want your name on there,” Charlie shrugged. “I’m down the hall by Viper’s office.”

“I’m intimately familiar with Viper’s office,” Mav joked.

Charlie laughed again.

“You get Jester’s office to yourself, since he’s out,” Charlie carried on. “I’ve been handling theoreticals and the boring physics parts. You and Hammer will do the practicality and exciting application parts.”

Maverick groaned, “Hammer like Chester Cain?”

Charlie nodded, frowning slightly.

“I hate that guy.”

“He’s not a fan of you,” she informed him. “Especially since you get an actual office and he has to use a section of the classroom.”

“What did he poison Jester for his office?” Mav rolled his eyes.

“Maverick!” Charlie scolded with a giggle.

He knew better. Jester had an unexpected surgery (appendix) and was out for the foreseeable future. At least for this TOPGUN class. They were two weeks into the course. Maverick could suck it up for three weeks and work with Cain.

“Charlie, what’s Cain doing here anyway?” Maverick asked her. “He’s been singing praises of the Air Force’s UAVs for years. Teaching literal humans doesn’t seem like his bag.”

Charlie frowned. She started chewing her lip, a nervous habit. Blackwoods ran deep in DC. Cain could be here to curry favor with her for something. It could just be a run of the mill assignment for Cain too. Or, the secret third option, Cain could have requested it. Not unheard of since TOPGUN was a pretty cushy position. Fly and teach all day.

“Between you and me?” Charlie raised an eyebrow.

“Of course,” Maverick nodded.

She closed the office door and stood closer to Maverick.

“Word back home is that some defense contractor wants to sell more remote controlled toys,” Charlie said quietly, “Air Force is interested, but the Navy won’t buy so long as Viper and this program are effective.”

“Huh,” Mav clicked his tongue, “Think he’s here to snoop?”

“Best case. He did request it.”

“Worst case?”

Charlie shrugged. “Why do you think you’re here?”

“Because Jester had his appendix taken out?”

“Use your brain, Maverick,” Charlie tapped his skull gently. “Out of everyone Viper could have recalled?”

“Charlie, you’re better at this game than I am,” he told her.

Charlie sniffed at him and gave him a look.

“Ensure success,” Charlie explained, “And look good doing it. For you and Viper. The Navy's Maverick wrangler wrangles him again. You prove you can sit still for at least three weeks.”

“See, you’re so much better at this,” Mav praised. “Now, be honest. Do I have to meet up with Cain now? Or can you just catch me up?”

Charlie laughed, “No, sorry. I’m just the liaison today. He’s in his classroom office. I’ll grab your housing keys and meet you over there.”

“Great. Lucky me.”

At least Cain was equally unhappy about their situation as Maverick. He wasn’t outright hostile, at least. They commiserated about having to be there together on a Sunday. They lamented about Viper bailing on them. Cain glossed over the pilots and their backseaters. Charlie hadn’t joined them yet, so Cain complained about her teaching style. All substance; too complex. Everything she said belonged in a textbook. Nobody could possibly apply her theories, but a computer sure could.

Maverick nodded absentmindedly as he flipped through personnel files and lesson plans. Jester left him a bunch of things from TOPGUNs past in their office. Mav could cobble together something from Jester’s old plans and notes from this class.

“They’re all Tomcat duos?” Mav asked.

“Hmm?” Cain looked at him.

“The students.”

“Oh, yeah. All in F-14s.”

“What are we chasing them in?”

“Skyhawks.”

Maverick whistled, “Haven’t flown one of those in a long time. I’ve been in F-5s lately.”

“We can probably find you one,” Charlie announced as she approached the two men.

“What are they like?” Mav continued.

“The pilots? Cocky fucks,” Cain shrugged.

Charlie looked at the personnel folders over Mav’s shoulder. 

“These two,” she pointed, “Chatterboxes. This one just had a kid. He came from the birth here. Little distracted, but his RIO keeps him focused. Oh, he's a sweetheart. Tests really well. His pilot does too. Both physics degrees, I think. These two, top of the class in points.”

“For now,” Cain interjected.

Charlie clicked her tongue quietly in Mav's ear. She handed Maverick his housing keys. The trio went over possible lessons. How to best integrate the boring physics with the exciting physics. After a few hours, Maverick excused himself. He still had to check out his house and unpack. He scooped up his paperwork and left.

The on-base housing wasn’t terrible. Especially compared to a shitty little bunk he had to share with someone else. Mav’s place had two bedrooms, one and a half baths, an attached garage, and was completely furnished. All shitty navy issue furnishings, but he didn’t care. He tossed his duffel into a bedroom, left the paperwork on the dining table, and picked up the phone.

“Bradshaw residence,” the other line greeted him.

“Hey, honey! I’m home,” Mav said cheerfully.

The phone exploded in his ear. Mav held it away and winced. He could clearly hear the loud and frantic chatter from one of his favorite Bradshaws with the phone a few inches away still.

“PETER MAVERICK MITCHELL, THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT YOU’RE STATESIDE?! CAROLE! MAV’S STATESIDE!!”

There was a click of a second phone being picked up.

“Petey!?” she exclaimed.

“Hey Carole,” Pete grinned. “Putting that bedroom phone to good use, huh? And you said it was a stupid idea.”

“I said it was stupid when you wanted us to put a phone in our room so you and Goosey could talk until he fell asleep,” Carole snorted. “It’s perfectly practical for this.”

“Where’re you at now, Mav?” Goose chuckled.

“Miramar,” Mav answered. “Viper called me for this TOPGUN class. Jester’s out. You remember Jester?”

“Yeah, yeah. No fun. S’why he didn’t like us, honey.”

“XO on that carrier, right?” Carole asked them.

“Yeah.”

“Mhmm.”

“How long you stateside for, Petey?” Carole kept on.

“Three weeks at least. I’ve got loads of leave I can take, and Viper will probably grant it,” Mav said.

“I’ve got vacation time too. We can fly out closer to graduation,” Goose hummed. “Bradley doesn’t start college until September.”

“How’s he?”

“Oh, you know,” Carole giggled, “Embarrassed by everything we say and do.”

“Teenagers, Mav, fucking teenagers,” Goose lamented.

“He’s goin’ to UT Austin. Go Longhorns!” Carole cheered. “Got a hefty baseball scholarship and everything.”

“Hey, that’s great,” Mav smiled.

They chatted until Maverick’s stomach rumbled. Carole scolded him for not eating. Reluctantly, the Bradshaws hung up. Left, finally, to his own devices, Mav ordered pizza and went back over the pilots’ personnel files again.

There were four sets of aviators and RIOs. They were all young . Late 20s, but that still felt so young. Their official Navy photos looked even younger. Maverick wondered if the photos were from flight school. Their records were pretty good, of course. TOPGUN was for the best of the best. 

Chipper and Sundown out of NAS Key West; VF-101 Grim Reapers. They were part of a replacement squadron. It sounded like those two were the permanent fixture, training other, newer aviators before they moved on.

Hollywood and Wolfman out of NAS Oceana; VF-41 Black Aces. Mav had heard of a Prowler crashing on the deck of their carrier a few years ago. They lost three F-14s and three crew. Other than that, they were terribly efficient.

Cougar and Merlin also out of NAS Oceana; VF-143 Pukin’ Dogs. A lot of reconnaissance. If Maverick’s memory served him correctly, VF-143 were the first to do combat reconnaissance in F-14s.

Iceman and Slider out of NAS Jacksonville; VF-102 Diamondbacks. Maverick frowned as he skimmed. They had just gotten back from [redacted] a few months ago. A lot of the information was blacked out. He made a mental note to ask the aviator and RIO after the first class.

Class started at 0800 with Charlie’s lectures. After, Jester would give the practical applications of her fancy physics talk. Cain took over that for the first day. Next, the first set of hops before lunch. They’d run simulations after lunch, maybe have a test, and finally the last set of hops in the afternoon.

All the students flew, in some combination. Four in the morning; four in the afternoon. Jester had been shot down once by Iceman and Slider. Cain had been at least once by everyone. That lended credibility to Maverick's developing “here to sabotage TOPGUN” theory.

“We’ve been going up separately,” Cain explained as he put on his flight suit. “Jester wanted us to start going up together in week four.”

“Fine by me,” Maverick nodded.

“I’ve got Cougar, Merlin, Sundown, and Chipper for day. You can take the other four for afternoon.”

The two superior officers had their own locker room. Brand new too. Viper had made a lot of updates to Miramar since Maverick's last stay. The fancy commander-and-higher locker room was by the offices. Which Maverick thought was hilarious because Cain still had to go all the way back to the classrooms if he forgot something at his desk. Because he didn’t have an office on that side of the building. Maverick, per Viper’s orders, avoided the classrooms that Monday. He was a surprise for the afternoon hops victims. Participants. Same thing. 

While everyone played with computers, Maverick went up in a Skyhawk. It wasn’t quite as lithe as he liked, but it would do. Eventually, his two sets of duos were in the air with him. He waited while they searched for him. Comms were on between all three planes (and the base).

“I didn’t even see Hammer go up,” someone said.

“I swear he was still running sims with Blackwood when we left the room,” another one added.

“Maybe they found an extra instructor? Or maybe Jester recovered sooner,” the first person again.

“You think it’s Viper?” the second person laughed.

“No way. Guy hasn’t flown since Korea,” first person.

A third voice chimed in, “Can you two shut up and focus.”

“Eyes peeled,” the fourth and final voice.

Maverick grinned under his mask. 

“Sorry Ice,” the first two voices said together.

He could see the two Tomcats searching for him. Maverick had never flown a Tomcat; he’d have to ask Viper if he could get up in one. He wasn’t sure how well it would maneuver against the Skyhawk. He knew from the spec sheets that the younger aviators would have him on speed. 

“Slider?” It was the fourth voice again. Iceman, Mav deduced.

“Nothing,” Slider, Mav assumed, answered. The source of the mysterious third voice.

“Maybe Hammer hasn’t launched yet?” Hollywood or Wolfman suggested.

“He couldn’t have if he was still in the classroom,” the other one added.

Mav got bored. He clicked his comms on and soared past them.

“Fight’s on, gentlemen,” he announced.

There was a chorus of “who the fuck was that” over the radio. Maverick chuckled to himself. The aviators, for safety purposes, couldn’t switch to a private channel. Their CO, Maverick in this case (how weird was it he was someone’s CO), had to be able to hear them in case of emergencies. So Maverick got to listen as Iceman and Slider immediately took control.

Iceman took point; Hollywood on his wing. Slider and Wolfman may as well have been speaking a different, backseater language. Mav guessed it was for his location. They’d say a position; their pilots would immediately fall in. 

“Wood, got a shot?” Iceman asked.

“Almost, almost, almost,” came Hollywood’s response.

The Skyhawk didn’t have the speed of the Tomcat. It more than made up for it with handling. Mav tipped his nose until the momentum forced the plane up vertically. He braked, he had to, and flew past Hollywood and Wolfman. 

“What the fuck!?”

“What happened?!”

“Ice?”

“Hmmph.”

Mav leveled out and got tone.

“That’s tone, gentlemen,” he said.

Hollywood and Wolfman swore as they broke off.

“Then there were two,” Mav tried a joke.

No response over the radio. Mav scanned the skies, but he couldn’t find the second Tomcat. He must have lost them after his cobra maneuver. With all this newfound silence, Maverick wondered how the two aviators were communicating. Their records showed they had been together since flight school. They both attended Annapolis; same graduation year. More deduction, but Mav guessed they knew each other back then too. Spend enough time with anyone, and you could convey a lot without sound.

He saw their shadow by pure chance. Mav probably couldn’t pull off the same stunt twice. Especially not in a plane that wasn’t designed for it. Iceman was good, but Maverick had been flying at least as long as that kid had been alive. Which was to say “but Maverick was better.”

He pulled right but didn’t brake. The Skyhawk curved around and down; the Tomcat followed after a beat. A very brief and unnoticable pause, but a pause nonetheless.

“Ice?”

“Fuck.”

Flying a Skyhawk was like riding a bike apparently.

Maverick was giddy as he announced, “Tone, gentlemen!”

Maverick had a terrible idea. Terribly hilarious. Iceman’s file had been nothing but commendation after praise after praise. Nary a punishment, penalty, nor penance to be found.

“Iceman. Kazansky, right?” Mav put on his best senior officer voice, “I want to see you in Jester’s office after this.”

“Yessir,” there was no hesitation in the younger man’s response.

Mav took his time landing. He contemplated buzzing the tower, but thought better on his first day. Favor for Viper and all that. Maverick figured it would take the younger pilot some time to work up the nerve to actually report to his office immediately. So he showered, blissfully alone, and changed. 

Kazansky was still in his flight suit. He stood outside of Jester's/Maverick's office door. He'd probably been there minutes after he landed. Maverick pursed his lips but didn't say anything. He unlocked the door and gestured for Iceman to enter. Mav sat at the empty desk; Kazanksy stood there. Awaiting further instructions.

He was hot; it was unfair to have such a hot student. Kazansky looked like a catalog model. Sharp features, blue eyes, soft lips. His hair was plastered down from sweat and his helmet. The sleeves of his flight suit were pushed up, showing off his thick, tanned arms. Maverick felt his mouth go a bit dry, and he tried not to stare too much. 

“You could have showered,” Mav said with a grin.

“You said you wanted to see me, sir,” Kazansky replied.

“I did, didn’t I?”

No response.

“Commander Pete Mitchell, callsign Maverick,” Maverick extended his hand, “I’m filling in for Jester, as you’ve probably guessed.”

Kazansky looked… Confused for a second. Mav guessed he was used to saluting, but the lieutenant shook his hand and introduced himself.

“Have a seat,” Mav pointed to Jester’s desk chair, “I wanna ask you about some things in your file.”

“My file?” Iceman raised an eyebrow. He moved the desk chair and sat.

“Yeah, it’s all blacked out because of Charlie’s clearance I’m guessing.”

“By all means, sir. I’m an open book.”

They chatted. Eventually, Kazansky appeared to relax. Mav tried not to let his gaze linger too long on him. He really did try, but… Well, Mav always had a problem with self control.

Iceman and Slider had also been in the Mediterranean (Mav was unofficially there, but he didn’t say anything about that) aboard the America . They had been on patrol when they were fired upon by Libyan surface-to-air missiles. And again not even a month after that while escorting other jets for another mission. No casualties; impeccable flying. Their CO recommended them for the next TOPGUN class; they flew in a few days before it started.

“Damn, so you really haven’t had a breather,” Mav whistled.

Kazansky shrugged, “Part of the job, sir.”

“I guess.”

Mav couldn’t think of a reason to keep him there. He was about to dismiss the lieutenant when Kazansky started asking him about his own service record. Maverick’s reputation apparently preceded him. Time flew by. Before long, Maverick finally noticed the sun setting over the hangars.

“Shit, kid. It’s getting late,” Mav remarked.

Kazansky flushed, “Sorry, sir.”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind. You probably want to shower.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Here,” Maverick scribbled his address and number down, “Whenever you wanna pick this back up. I’m here until graduation.”

Kazansky took the scrap paper and thanked him. He hesitated before saluting and leaving. Maverick hated to see him leave but enjoyed watching him go. Christ, he was depraved. Kazansky was a student. His student. His well toned student with a small waist. Deep eyes… Birthmark in the perfect spot to kiss… Perfect lips… Wonder what sounds he could pull from those lips…

Okay, yeah.

Maverick was definitely in trouble.

No.

He’d be fine. Mav was a professional. He could keep his hands (and everything else) to himself.

Iceman

Iceman was definitely in trouble. 

The new instructor looked like he stepped right off a movie set. Gorgeous smile, gorgeous eyes, gorgeous everything. The way his eyes crinkled when Maverick laughed? Gorgeous. His slightly crooked nose? Gorgeous.

He’d heard of Maverick, but he hadn’t had a face for the name. He was a legend, of course; a thorn in the brass’ side. Ice had a million more questions for the commander. 

Slider was waiting for him in the locker room. Everyone else was long gone. The RIO continued waiting until his pilot was ready to talk. Ice shucked his flight suit. He desperately kept his thoughts off Maverick as he stood under the water. Slider leaned against the wall, waiting and watching. He wasn’t necessarily watching Ice shower. His gaze drifted past Ice, to the wall behind him.

“You didn't have to wait,” he tried telling his friend.

“I'm your ride, Ice,” Slider replied.

“Oh. Yeah, right.”

“Who even was that? It wasn't Cain. Cougar and them said Hammer was in the classroom.”

“New commander,” Ice willed his tone to be light. 

“Jester's replacement?” Slider asked.

Ice nodded.

“What’d he want?”

Iceman shrugged, “Chat, I guess.”

“About what?” Slider raised an eyebrow.

“Prairie Fire and Canyon.”

“Weird.”

“It was alright,” Ice said, “Maverick’s alright.”

“Like Maverick Mitchell?” Slider let out a low whistle. “He’s our new instructor?”

“Guess so.”

Index Next Chapter

[bekolxeram]

Good morning! (Well, at my place) I've just read your take on fandom, and while I'm personally avoiding most of the cast interviews and stuff, I see your point. I'm just afraid that's too much a voice of reason. Something spread all over the world today, facts do not matter very much. And people really forget that fandom is fun. Anyway, would love to see more of those posts :)

I too usually avoid interviews and stuff, I'm mostly in it for the excuse to unite my love for aviation, disaster documentaries and gay stuff. I'm sure you've stumbled across fandom discourse before and asked yourself "are we watching the same show?" Well, I saw a post about one of the actors "confirming a character's sexual orientation" and I was just wondering if we were reading the same words.

I've seen media literacy, canon vs fanon being brought up numerous times for the last 2 months, but I think I've finally found the right words to describe my gripes with the fandom: the confusion of implication and interpretation.

Maddie pulling Chimney out of the frame in that hotel room then ending up pregnant a few episodes later, implication, it's not the network or the show for explicit sex scenes. Buck making a dirty face while saying the ring cutter was for "other stuff", well what other stuff can you think of? Hen and Chimney hanging out with Tommy at the bar in Bobby Begins Again, would Hen and Chimney knowingly become friends with someone who was still racist and misogynist that they had a problem with? These are all hardly refutable facts that just weren't shown explicitly on screen for whatever reasons.

A male character being emotionally repressed and having trouble dating women on the other hand, could be because he is attracted to men without knowing it, but it also could be due to all sorts of reasons like childhood trauma, religious trauma, trauma from the battlefield, unprocessed grief from on-and-off ex-wife suddenly dying in an accident so any sort of closure is no longer possible etc. Another male character looking after a good kid when his father is trying his best to juggle between raising him and being a first responder, could be because he is romantically interested in said single father and wants to become part of a traditional type of nuclear family unit with the kid, but it also could be just him being kind and empathetic, as he himself grew up with emotionally neglectful and absent parents. You can interpret these things all sorts of ways based on your personal experience, but the show itself doesn't tell you how to frame it, nor does it limits you. Though at the end of the day, other people may interpret the same piece of media in different ways, and that includes the showrunner, the writers and even the actors themselves.

And then there's conflating interpretation with irrefutable explicit fact, like I demonstrated in some of my posts. Like the moment after 7x10 came out, the whole fandom was enshrouded by debates over daddy kink. One side painted Tommy as a sexual predator who exploited Buck's moment of vulnerability to satisfy his own kinks (again, Buck started the daddy thing), the other side defended the rights for gay men to explore sexually whenever they like. Yes, the I know daddy kink is very common among the gay community, but the concept itself has become so mainstream the past few years (I blame Pedro Pascal) that it now vaguely means "an older man who is hot".

After a few weeks of thinking I'm crazy and I lack verbal and reading comprehensions, I finally read the source material behind most of the controversies, and I got things completely different from the mainstream discourse out there? I've never seen anyone from the production of the show explicitly stating or even imply a certain ship would come true? At most, they respect and validate fans' own interpretations of the story, that's it. It doesn't necessarily mean they agree with said interpretation, and it certainly does not invalidate other possibilities.

So here we are, some fans feel betrayed even though they were never promised anything. Other fans get nervous over stuff that is actually just an interpretation of a cast member's interview, which in itself is also an interpretation of their own character, but tutted as absolute fact by some.

Enjoying a piece of media is supposed to be about enjoyment, not like a part-time job, so enjoy the parts you like and ignore the rest. But if you want to participate in the fandom, and you feel anxious anytime there's rumors brewing, tracking down the source might actually bring you more peace.