paulmcsoft - Tumblr blog

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happy birthday old man <3

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paul: writes a song

john:

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“McCartney has no convincing sneer, no hint of darkness, and thus has difficulty sounding authentically cool. Paul Simon admits to the same ‘problem.’ ‘One of my deficiencies’ says Simon, ‘is my voice sounds sincere. I’ve tried to sound ironic. I don’t. I can’t. Dylan, everything he sings has two meanings. He’s telling you the truth and making fun of you at the same time. I sound sincere every time. Rock'n'roll has a lot to do with image. If that’s not your strength, people find fault with the work.’ McCartney has only one image: Paul McCartney, a persona which has undergone merely the cultural evolution of Everyman. After the cute Beatle of the early ‘60s, the wellie-booted hippy of the late ‘60s, and the mullet-headed ‘cat in satin trousers’ of the ‘70s, came the neat and woolly-jumpered media muppet of the early 80s. Then, chastened by the lack of regard for Broadstreet, a slightly bewildered Macca flirted briefly with grey-templed middle age in the ‘90s before gathering himself for millenial renewal. Now the grizzled veteran, refurbished and retouched for the 21st century, has at last fully set free the long-imprisoned spirit of Beatle Paul, to reanimate a stage presence that - depending on your point of view - is either a testament to unmatched stayability or a ghastly waxwork simulacrum.”

— Martin Shough, Truant Boy - Art, Authenticity and McCartney

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RIP George Harrison (25 February 1943 - 29 November 2001)

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Paul McCartney, 1963

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What would John's diary look like as a teenager? Or wait, did he ever have a diary?

i genuinely have no idea, i’m sorry! personally i believe he must have had plenty since he always was an artist, wrote poems and doodled a lot as a teen... idk, i feel like it makes sense that he probably had a notebook of sorts? a diary might be pushing it, i couldn’t say for sure that he did... if anyone knows more about this though, fill us in !!

as to what I think his diary would look like, well: probably lots of complaining, bits about the books he read, witty comebacks, doodles, lyrics, probably torn out pages... coffee stains, cigarette burns? I could see him with, like, a black leather notebook that used to look nice but ended up with holes in its cover because he writes in it anywhere he feel the incline to do so, in the park, on a bus, etc? idk!! but i liked that ask a lot, thank you!!

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parts of pattie boyd’s book wonderful tonight that involved george that stuck out to me:

pattie didn’t have any of the beatles records at first and only bought please please me since she was going to be in their film 

“on first impressions, john seemed more cynical and brash than the others, ringo the most endearing, paul was cute, and george, with velvet brown eyes and dark chestnut hair, was the best looking man i’d ever seen.”

during a lunch break pattie and george sat next to each other and were both very shy 

george asked pattie “will you marry me?” and after she laughed he said, “well, if you won’t marry me, will you have dinner with me tonight?” and she turned him down.

she deadass invited george to hang out with her and her boyfriend at the time.

pattie and george are both pisces.

once reshoots for the film were happening george asked pattie about her boyfriend, she said she had dumped him, and george once again asked her for dinner. she accepted this time.

brian epstein joined them for their first date.

they sat side by side and were too scared to even hold the others hand.

george got along great with pattie’s family.

pattie liked cynthia lennon but found her difficult to make friends with. 

“she wasn’t like my friends, who enjoyed a giggle and some fun: she was rather serious, and often, i thought, behaved more like john’s mother than wife.”

there was a rumor that john and pattie were having an affair and pattie worried cynthia believed it. it wasn’t true.

maureen cox (ringo’s girlfriend) was another beatles girl that pattie had a hard time being friends with. but said that she was “jolly and friendly, more relaxed than cynthia.”

pattie got along best with jane asher but saw her the least.

“i felt there was definitely a north-south divide among the wives and girlfriends. and i had the definite impressions that the girls from the north (maureen and cynthia) felt they has a prior clam to the boys.” okay shade, we see you. 

(talking about going on holiday with john, cynthia, and george) “it was a good way to split the group. john and paul were the closest in some ways and immensely creative together, but they clashed if they were in each other’s pockets for too long.”

george asked pattie to cut his hair while on holiday and one of the cleaners found his hair and kept it. 

(talking about george) “he was so beautiful and so funny.”

once a “weird looking man” tried to force his way into pattie and george’s house. pattie thought he was either a salesman or a jehovahs witness. it turns out it was paul in disguise. 

george said the only place he got peace was in the bathroom of his hotel suite.

pattie got a lot of letters saying that if she didn’t leave george there would be a curse put on her.

 pattie’s cleaner was a male ballet dancer and “a terrific duster.”

pattie would count the days till george came back. once he jumped into the bed early in the morning to wake her up. 

those two would deadass not lock their doors and were surprised that clothes were going missing…what is with older generations and not locking their doors i -

george would be in the studio from 11 am - 11 pm. sometimes midnight. 

george’s mom loved when john would visit and would always ask him for an “upper.”

when john lennon is your drug dealer.

pattie wasn’t a good cook but was optimistic.

“i loved listening to him (play guitar), loved the sound of the guitar in the house. sometimes i would start to talk and he’d be so deep in thought about the lyrics or the melody he was writing that he wouldn’t answer. we’d be the same room but he wasn’t really with me: he was in his head.”

pattie developed a kidney disorder.

(talking about the beatles dynamic) “in many aspects they were still children. they had few real friends apart from each other, and when they were asked questions they could answer as one - they were so much on each other’s wavelength. if one went to a gallery opening, they all went; if one bought a new car or new house, they all did. if one seemed in danger of taking himself too seriously, the others knocked it out of him.”

one evening george stopped the car and said, “let’s get married. i’ll speak to brian.” they went to brian’s house, george went inside, and when he came back in the car he said, “brian says it’s okay. will you marry me? we can get married in january.”

briannnnnnn, is it my turn to get married yet pleaseeeee

pattie invited her absent father to their wedding but he did not come.

at the train station everyone left cynthia behind as she was carrying the suitcases and john was carrying nothing. peter brown had to go back and get her. 

pattie’s quote from the lsd in the coffee moment is hilarious to me. “you’ve just had lsd. it was in the coffee.” john lennon: “how dare you fucking do this to us?”

pattie and george didn’t go to brian’s funeral in liverpool but george sent one single sunflower.

pattie stopped modeling because george didnt like it. and she felt like she lost a part of herself.

maureen was afraid of flies.

during the India trip, mia farrow told john that maharishi was inappropriate with her and john wanted everyone leave after that.

after India george and pattie’s relationship changed.

(talking about george) “some days he would be all right, but on others he seemed withdrawn and depressed. this was new: he had never been depressed before, but there was nothing i could do. it wasn’t about me, but i found that my moods started to mirror his…so bad indeed, that at times i felt almost suicidal. i don’t think i was ever in any real danger of killing myself, but i got as far as working out how i would do it: i would put on a diaphanous ossie clark dress and jump off beachy head.”

george became more obvious about his cheating. it hurt pattie.

george was gaslighting her.

cilla black was staying at george and pattie’s house and was uncomfortably close to george so pattie left. six days latter george called to tell her the girl was gone and she could come home.

“..but my ego was too fragile and i couldn’t see it as anything other than betrayal. i felt unloved and miserable.”

“jane asher came home unexpectedly from new york and found another woman in the house, an american girl - and did what i should probably have done with george…”

george would start to talk about his feelings about paul or john but would stop bc he never wanted to admit that he felt left out. 

“we had once been so close, so honest and open with each other. now a distance had developed between us..”

(about yoko contributing to the beatles break up) “the four had never allowed anyone into the recording studios with them, but yoko not only sat by john throughout every session, he consulted her about the music they were making, which upset paul.”

during the let it be sessions there was a time with george and paul got in a fist fight and george left.

the same day john told George he was leaving the beatles, george’s mom told him she was ill and in critical condition.

i love that she vibe checked george. “he was bringing home bad vibes.”

george continued cheating and they continued arguing.

“my diary is full of entries about my unhappiness and the disintegration of our relationship.”

john came to visit george and pattie’s new mansion and said that it was so dark he didn’t know how they could live in it, and george recommended that he took of his sunglasses.

eric clapton being a piece of shit and saying “if you won’t be with me pattie i will become addicted to heroin.”

pattie said the only thing she had left was cooking and george took that away.

the couple was suppose to go on holiday together but george cancelled last minute bc he didn’t want to go with her. he ended up going to spain.

“when i challenged him, he denied it and tried once again to make me feel as though i was paranoid.”

i’m not even…the whole fucking story of the george and maureen affair PISSES ME OFF more than i can describe. maybe i’ll make a whole other post but omfg i’m fuming. fuck them bothhhh. they deserve no rights.

george harrison, mere days before their wedding anniversary: “let’s get a divorce this year.” what an amazing new years resolution jerk.

ringo offered pattie a job.

when george told ringo about the affair pattie was so mad she dyed her hair red. 

george loved pattie’s little brother and was his role model but he wouldn’t come to the man’s wedding even though he was invited.

the night pattie told george she was leaving him george came to bed in sadness and said, “don’t go.”

“i’m going.”

george invited pattie to dhani’s eighteenth birthday party bc she “had to be there. she was family.”

george had become more of an older brother to her now.

pattie had learned about john’s death from eric clapton and immediately went to the beatles office in london to hang out with everyone there.

(after finding out about george’s death) “i couldn’t bare the thought of a world without george. when i left him for eric, he had said that if things didn’t work out, ever, i could always come to him and he would look after me. it was such a selfless, loving, generous thing to say and it had always been tucked away at the back of my mind. now that sense of security had gone.”

the last time they saw each other was when george called saying he wanted to visit her new cottage and see her.

pattie didn’t go to his funeral nor did she go to the memorial concert that took place a year later. but she spent that day high on the mountains thinking of george. “i was happy to mourn him alone and in my own way.”

she would have dreams of george after his death. “oh george, it’s so wonderful that you are alive after all, this is so fabulous; i knew they had all made a mistake.”

and then she’d wake up.

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paul leaving the studio for a few days only to come back and see the only thing the others made progress on was that piece of shit revolution 9

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Paul releasing McCartney circa 1970

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Does anyone else get frustrated with how reluctant the biographers are to really dig in and examine Paul's personality and character? So often they just breeze over really important moments like they are inconsequential. Even major events like his mums death! Or they choose the most obvious surface level explanation.

A good example would be Paul's nerves in the bands early years. He took over as lead guitarist on joining The Quarry Men in 1957, but stepped down the position after his first gig with them in October. Why? Because despite his prowess he by all accounts ballsed up his first solo due to nerves. We are told that after this he was determined to make it up to John, not by pledging to nail it next time. But by showing off his songwriting and bringing in George as lead.

Now there is so much in that the biographers could dig into, but nope. It's just "haha big head Paul wasn't as good as thought he was, he humiliated himself hahahaha"

So here are the questions they could have been asking

The Quarry Men are all full of tales of how full of himself Paul was but adamant that he had the talent to back it up. But for someone so full of himself, to be so badly impacted by nerves, to the point he wouldn't play lead guitar publicly for decades, does that suggest that the self assurance was perhaps bravado? A front?

And why might a 15 year old boy be putting on a front? Had anything major happened in his life that might mean he had to put on a show? Something major like the death of a parent? A parent who maybe died a almost a year to day of this pivotal gig? Hmmmm

I would also be asking myself if maybe this 15 year old felt a bit intimidated being surrounded by all these 17 year olds and felt like he had to prove himself their equal. Then I would be noting that the guitarist he brought into the fold was 14 and that would mean he was no longer the youngest.

I would also be wondering if Paul's nerves at being on stage and reluctance to continue as lead guitarist, may tell us something about why he was so interested in music. Something that is rarely made a thing of is that despite being obsessive about his guitar playing, Paul unlike most of his school friends, hadn't made any effort to form or join a band. He would practice with Ian James and George but until Pete Shotton extended the invitation it seems he had no real urge to actually work with anyone. His brother Mike has described Paul as being "a hermit" during this time in his life. Which suggests his passion for music was personal and a form of therapy. If so breaking his hermit like existence to join a band was, for Paul, perhaps a bigger deal than biographers want to acknowledge.

There is also the tale Brian told about Paul refusing to leave the house on the day of The Beatles first big paid gig under Brian's management. His dad saying Paul was in a state, unable to calm down and that he didn't think he could perform. This usually used as an example of Paul being a diva but to me it may also show Paul in self sabotage mode. It's hard to believe a chronic perfectionist like Paul would screw up a gig on purpose just to swing his dick around. I also don't think Jim McCartney would lie to Brian about Paul being in a state. There are tales of him vomiting before performances in the 60s, Paul has singled out the NME Awards as being particularly nerve wracking for him. And in Brauns Love Me Do he is observed saying "oh my god, my ulcer" and we all know about his nail bitting and fidgeting.

So clearly, for all his breezy persona, there is evidence that Paul battled with nerves and that means there is at least an outside chance he wasn't just trying to be a dick to Brain. But this doesn't fit the established narrative so it's never considered.

If anyone has anything to add please feel free.

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“I say in speeches that a plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at least a little bit. I am then asked if I know of any artists who pulled that off. I reply, ‘The Beatles did.’”

Kurt Vonnegut

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Rest in peace Astrid 💔

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John Lennon + his blonde Epiphone Casino

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Happy 50th anniversary to The Beatles’ Let It Be!

On May 8 of 1970, The Beatles released their twelfth and final studio album.

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bonus: where paul proved yet once again that he was the band’s last working brain cell