#venting in the tags don't mind me!!
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😤😤😤
#venting in the tags don't mind me!!#dani speaks#personal#when the blog becomes the diary#y'all it is VERY HARD dealing with a narcissistic parent I gotta say!!#i am understandably very upset with my parents right now for some nonsense that went down Sunday into Monday#so I've been limiting contact and not reaching out to them unless they reach out to me to ask about my houseguest#and because growing up with them. and my MOM specifically#I KNOW that they would 100% not listen to my points or feelings or whatever#and just turn the table to be like WHAT ABOUT ME AND MY NEEDS#mom more so than dad. anyway#so this model has been working well most of the week UNTIL TODAY#in which I checked WhatsApp and saw that my dad has messaged several times to check in#i was like 😤 and replied fine#my mom send this big INFURIATING text to me#i replied in the fam chat that by fine I mean things are FINE. SATISFACTORY#NOT FINE AS IN IDC WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY CONVERSATION ENDS NOW AND HERE#BC THAT'S WHAT MOM DOES AND THAT'S WHAT SHE THOUGHT I DID SO SHE GOT ALL HUFFY WOO IS ME IN THE CHAT#so I made a v grown up reply that was basically. tldr:#I'm having a bad week and here's what's happened and I am NOT using fine to end a conversation and would appreciate space#so I can feel BAD without being made to feel bad for feeling bad#and it's v mature but LORD AM I READY TO EXPLODE#like i am talking full Jacqueline diring frostmas on main EXPLODE#IT'S SO ANNOYING TO NOT BE ABLE TO SHARE WITH PARENTS HOW YOU FEEL#KNOWING THEY DON'T GIVE A FUCK AND WANT YOU TO BE OKAY WITH THEM#GIVEN THE SITUATION HOW CAN I! FUCKEN EH#i am going to rip off my shirt and explode into 1000 tiny danis and take apart the local clocktowers
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I can't see you. Do you see me? 👁️👁️
#scopophobia#eye strain#bright colors#creepy#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#welcome home wally#wally darling#wally darling fanart#welcome home fanart#wh wally#wh wally darling#wally welcome home#hello hello dont mind me! Tried to experiment. Not too good with “creepy” art so heres an attempt!#Wally practice!!!!#Maybe not the best but hey! I tried!#my style really doesnt lend well to outright horror#this particular style is actually one I use for personal vent art! Thought maybe it would be a good starting point#put all the warnings I could think of in the tags oh I hope its all good and I don't end up bothering anyone with suddenly RED ART!!!!#ANYWAY LOVE YALL MWAH MWAH SORRY IF THIS FEELS LIKE A JUMPSCARE ON MY USUAL COLORFUL PAGE LMAO#my art#sketches
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I find it so painfully heartbreaking that Solomon just...laughs off all the derision, the name-calling, and possibly even did "evil" things on purpose because it's expected of him at this point. (He had not always been like this as Thirteen pointed out before). There was a time when he was "innocent". When his soul sparkled. When it resembled the kind of soul everyone in these god forsaken (pun intended with spite) three realms seemed to associate with the ever loved MC. He's just...worryingly carefree. And because he's like that, he feels even more of a tragic character to me.
Sometimes it even seems that he himself would seemingly make up excuses on why he's hated. Oh, it's because I'm a sorcerer this. I might have won a war against Devildom single-handedly this. I have forgotten. But maybe, I did something bad, that. Hon, you were doing that to SURVIVE. You don't have to be a faultless person to deserve compassion. You don't have to be MC to deserve to be loved.
#rant#the more i play and read about nb solomon the more it feels like he's a worst case scenario foil to MC#and it's ridiculous maybe to feel this way but seeing how everyone dotes on mc and just panders to them without question no matter#especially with meaner dialogues#make me dislike the mc to some extent#what good will raising up one character do in exchange of dehumanising another?#i couldn't put a finger on this feeling before#but i think that's also why im so burnt out with this game#the more everyone loves me as the mc the more it becomes so apparent how unfairly solomon was treated#and how everyone ESPECIALLY HIM just rolls with it#sweetie please be angry. please complain. please hate me in some way#but no he just keeps loving and supporting the mc#in game in fandom this man can't catch a break#wanna gatekeep him fr /s#this has just been brewing in my mind for a while. i don't really wanna hear discourse or arguments that's why i put it in the tags#I just need a place to vent my frustrations with this game#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me solomon#spoiler mention#he's imperfect and flawed as all humans are and he deserves to be loved irregardless
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gahhhh the last few weeks I have been starving for fics or art where Aziraphale is clearly, legitimately fat (with adoring attention paid to his physical features which are associated with said fatness) and also clearly, legitimately loved ("desired" would be okay but oh give me cherished, give me treasured and held dear and, again, adored)
and I know that this is one of those things where I should just be the change I want to see in the world, but the last few weeks I have also been [flops face-first onto bed and doesn't move for 45 minutes], so clearly that is not happening
#ineffablefool original post#i am just a lonely lil dude who is fat and who has not had that sort of love since 2006#and has to live vicariously through fictional characters who definitely did not sign up to be my emotional support blorbos#don't mind me#(covid needs to be over already so I can go back to having an incredibly small chance of being smooched someday rather than absolutely zero)#not good omens#i guess? related but not quite there#vent post#i also guess#with the tags and all#anyway this is where my brain has been for a while in case anyone was wondering
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I’m a trans man that recently got diagnosed with hyper mobile eds, so now seeing Steve makes me extra happy, because cool disabled ftm rep. Thanks for making the radical dude bro, he’s funky.
same disability (waving hand emoji)
Always extremely fulfilling to know my work makes people happy in some small way, it means a lot. Thank you for sharing with me
#I dont talk about having eds cause its not specifically really relevant to my work#been diagnosed with it since 17. woag 10 years next april...#anyways. yeah idk I like the blog to be about my art and I'm used to people asking me a LOT of questions about EDS or disability or canes#just a lot of stuff unrelated to my art. I'm happy to talk about it but I don't want it to be the focus of my blog!#So I've p much chosen to mostly just. not talk about it. even though I'm literally fine talking about it#it's just rarely relevant and no one needs to know LOL#but. I also know that EDS can feel very lonely#and that it's really nice to know other people out there have it#so. hi anon you're not alone#also just in case. literally don't feel bad about anything in the tags here LOL#mostly just like 'please people do not start sending me asks about whether or not you should go to the doctor'#or asks about ableist family members#or venting about pain...#just a lot of invasive and boundary crossing asks the more I talk about it hahahah#but I don't mind sharing at all.#sorry I think I lost the plot on this one#good luck on your journey. starting to accomodate yourself does wonders#and really just extremely happy my work could reach you in this way#sending you love#asks#anon
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i was having a chuckle to myself last night about Gristol, and how his plans are basically:
Restore Ford Cruller's memory
Find Maligula
???
Profit
but then... of course they are, right? this is Gristol we're talking about. Fatherland Follies drives home again and again that he's still operating on a child's logic, a warped and reductive version of the world that he never bothered to grow out of. both of his memory vaults center on the images of his childhood, this idealized version of the past that he clings to no matter what. and that's still how he remembers Maligula, too - as this saviour figure, who rushes in to help him when he's in trouble.
[ID: Two slides from Gristol's memory vault, Glory to Grulovia! Left: Gristol clings to Maligula's back as she summons waves to sweep away his assailants. Right: Gristol and Maligula waving from a balcony as the people cheer. Gzar Theodore brandishes a dagger in the background.]
like so much else, Maligula represents a return to this idyllic childhood - to the peace and simplicity of his youth, when he was free from worries and responsibilities. in his mind, he doesn't need to make any further plans - once Maligula's back, everything will go back to normal. Maligula will make everything better.
...is what i thought, but then i remembered this line:
[Screenshot source. ID: Gristol, in Truman's body, bows on his hands and knees in front of the newly-awaked Maligula. The caption reads: "Yes, High Priestess! I am here to correct the mistakes made by my father!"]
and that's kind of interesting, right?
to be clear: this happens directly after Maligula sees Helmut-in-Gristol's-body, and recognises him. her line before this is:
"Little Gzesaravich! Have you come to pay for your father's sins?"
my first thought was that Gristol hadn't expected to still be in Truman's body by the time he managed to find Maligula, and this was him trying to placate her and buy some time until he could explain the situation. but watching the cutscene back, that's clearly not what's happening here. Gristol is answering as himself, and his response of throwing himself to his knees before her is, as far as i can tell, genuine.
so what is going on here?
in Fatherland Follies, there's this line in the ride narration that stuck out to me:
"Why didn't the Gzar help Maligula in her time of need? No one knows, but historians agree - it is Gzar Theodore's biggest failure."
other lines mention Gzar Theodore's "mistake", and it's wording Gristol himself echoes in the screencap above. evidently, he believes that his father abandoned Maligula, leaving her to her fate at the hands of the Psychonauts, and it was that mistake that lead to them being driven out of the country - that mistake which he seeks to correct. maybe he even feels like he has a debt to repay to her for his family turning their backs on her all those years ago.
the 'High Priestess' thing, though - that's kinda weird, and threw me for a loop the first time i played the game. it took me until my second playthrough to connect the dots, and remember how the room in the Lady Luctopus - Gristol's room - was full of Delugionist scribblings and symbols.
[Screenshot source. ID: left, the walls of the hidden backroom in Gristol's hotel suite, covered in scrawlings of eyeballs and Maligula's name. Right, the pinboard from the hidden backroom. On its surface are photographs and newspaper clippings connected by pieces of string.]
i mean, look at this stuff! he had a whole conspiracy board and everything!
we learn very little about the Delugionists and their beliefs as a whole during the game, but i think drawing the connection here suggests two important things. one: that Gristol was in deep with this stuff. i don't know how he linked up with them - maybe via old family connections, or just good old-fashioned digging (we know he's skilled at worming his way into peoples' good graces, after all) - but it seems likely that he's begun to internalise their ideas, maybe even warping his own memories of events. and two: the Delugionists themselves are, if you'll pardon the pun, pretty far off the deep end.
like... i understand why PN2 didn't go heavy on the "mass-murderer cult worship" aspect of things, in the end, but man this is such a tantalising glimpse into the wider mythos around Maligula. Gristol is proud and haughty and thinks himself above everyone else; the fact that his first reaction seeing Maligula is to throw himself to the ground at her feet says so much about the way he's come to see her. he's not just trying to bring back Maligula, his childhood bodyguard. he's trying to bring back Maligula, the High Priestess of the deluge, the semi-mythical figure whose supporters believe even death couldn't stop. he doesn't even flinch at the way she confronts him, and maybe it's because he's bought in so completely to this deified figurehead, this idea of Maligula; more a living force of nature than a person. and it all comes back to the same place: an abdication of responsibility, not just to the person who protected him when he was little but to this avatar of floods and destruction. Maligula will make everything better.
i'd write more about my thoughts on the Delugionists but that'd be taking a hard turn into speculation, and this is already kind of long and rambling so i'd better end it here. but what an unexpected and evocative line, right? it's some of the only stuff we have to go off of regarding the Delugionists as a whole, but i think it does such a good job of hinting at the wider story - at teasing another layer to the mythos surrounding Maligula, one whose ripples we see throughout the game but which never quite breaches the surface.
#psychonauts#psychonauts 2#bored waiting at the airport so you get more psychonauts meta from me#the delugionists have been on my mind recently (because i Might Just have an upcoming au lorepost about them and also cults are fun)#so tossing my thoughts up here because people seemed to like the last few times i did this#and also it's my blog and i like to talk :)#related vent i HATE drafting posts in the tumblr editor because if you hit crtl+z to try and undo a formatting change#it deletes like half the post you just typed out#(yes i did it again while i was writing this. yes i'm still salty. why do i even bother)#what else... this is just becoming a disconnected thoughts dump#but if you've seen my posts you knew what you were signing up for when you hit the button to expand the post tags#there's new art coming hopefully this weekend if i can get it finished! it's more mermaid au designs#i'm two and a half weeks late for mermay but it turns out starting a new job and moving house doesn't leave you with a ton of free time#but that's okay it's never too late for mermaids#omg and artfight's coming up next month too! geez#i gotta make refsheets for the fsau trio because i would LOVE to get art of them#and this year i don't have a thesis to crunch on so i might actually have time to participate#oh and then in august i'm having top surgery! will make a proper announcement post for it at some point#i say 'announcement'. it's just a life update but it's nice to share#i'm super excited about it :)#i might end up blogging the process and recovery but obviously it won't be going here lol. i'd put it on my main#idk if anyone would find it useful but when i first started looking into surgery i had like very little idea about the whole process#and it's only through joining a bunch of online support/discussion groups that i managed to find more info and resources#so hey it might be useful to share? we'll see#our flight doesn't land for another fifty minutes so now i'm just writing in the tags because i'm bored#alright i'll proofread this and then post it when i land and have signal again. peace out yall hope your pride month is going well
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Last Six Lines
tagged by @ineadhyn
“Do you think I care? That this really is about whether you love me or not?” He snaps, “I couldn’t give less of a shit if anyone loves me. In all these years it has brought me nothing good. Just stop acting like you do. That’s the end of this discussion.” “So this is what we’ll be, then? Side by side like this for the rest of our days?”
tagging @boinkyyy , @swanfloatieknight and @redbatchedcumbermayned <3
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How do you keep going when it looks like 99% of your country has joined a cult whose soul purpose is hatred of everything you & everyone you know & love are when all you're doing is existing just like everyone else?
#election 2024#election#dystopia#hell country#dystopian timeline#i believe in string theory & i almost have myself convinced that there is a way to jump btw your closest timeline#there has to be#like... a portal that constantly moves#i was thinking about it last night & i began to wonder...#would you auto-switch with the you in that timeline?#would there just be two of you in one timeline?#when you finally jumped all the way to the eutopian timeline... if that's possible in one lifetime... if two of you exist...#does that mean you have to kill your other self & take their place?#would any of the above speculation create any temporal paradoxes? and would that affecr just the timeline you're currently in or all of them#would you have the memories of the you that you killed or would you be going into that life not knowing anything#so people close to you would realize instantly that you were not THEIR you#even though that probably wouldn't be a reality that crossed their mind so idk what they'd think#sometimes i feel like i have shifted into the adjacent timeline#i doubt anyone would notice unless you were specifically looking for the hella subtle changes#i call it reality but to the left#I've only told one person about reality but to the left#since no one reads tags (except me lol) i use them to vent#idc if strangers know#it's rare. it has only happened like 3 times? idk. i just feel like there HAS to be a way to do it... to control it#idk. maybe im crazy lol#ik that's not a part of string theory AND Ik a lot of people don't believe in string theory but if you actually take time to learn about it#it makes logical sense#okay im done lol#donald trump#fuck trump
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it’s my birthday !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#im officially 25 i think we should freeze time now#also#if you don't mind me self-reflecting and venting on the tags a bit:#tbh i haven't been feeling very well mentally or physically for a handful of days now#something 'happened' that pretty much just shattered me for a bit lmao#'shattered me' sounds super dramatic but like. it is pretty much like that shdjshd#not sure if i want to share the details of that yet since i don't really talk much about my personal life#but yeah it's just been tough to pull myself together to exist and get things done#i ended up taking a bit of a break from drawing because of it#but i'll try to get back into the swing of things now!#birdays are days for h a p p i n e s s#cremanatalk
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it's actually so stupid
#vent in tags sorry about this#like.#fuck im so mad#like being in fandoms for me feels like#im on the floor with everyone playing toys right. having a great time#and everyone has blocks#i look around and everyone is assembling structures with their blocks and its so cool!! this is so fun#but i dont do anything with my blocks. they dont make sense. i can't comprehend how to stack them on top of each other.#and its fine until im reminded that i dont have a tower of blocks#i dont know#like fuck im so fucking mad purely at myself#that i cant analyze media in the way i see people do. that i dont have headcanons. that i dont have ocs as well#its so fucking frustrating#and i know i know i don't have to do any of that and it's okay ! and maybe it will come with time !#but i want that i want to stack my fucking blocks!#and its been like- four years or so of this same shit im so MAD#it doesnt come!!#and yes i have ocs but do i do shit with them?#can i answer a simple question about any one of them?#fuck no#i regularly cry or almost cry about this im so sick of it#um. kouka if youre reading this i dont mind your ask or anything genuinely im happy for interaction hello yay#yeah sorry guys i dont think ive ever made a tumblr ventpost i just got reallyy upset#live kaard reaction
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I give up.
#don't mind me I'll vent in the tags#*Inhales*#I plan everything and somehow nothing goes as I want#Colors are so difficult oh my satan#I understand but I don't understand#*exhales*
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Why do people think Bonney has a crush on Sanji? Because she called him cool? Can a woman not compliment a man platonically?
A woman can like a man without being a love interest! She's not been swooning or blushing around him. She's a foodie, of course she's going to like a great chef like Sanji!
And why are people so intent on shipping Bonney when there's a strong chance she is actually a CHILD!
#opspoilers#don't mind me just tired of female characters being treated as shipping fodder by fans#she only complimented sanji because luffy brought him up#i will judge you if you ship bonney considering vegapunk has called her a kid twice#she is 100% not as old as she looks#vent post#multiple times i've scrolled through the sanji tag and saw posts saying they're going to become a couple#like...... what????????
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Huh. It's rare for me to trust that a show won't make fatness into a joke, but the first episode of the 6th and last season of wwdits sure did wait for almost maximum payoff on betraying that trust, didn't it.
#ineffablefool original post#not good omens#negativity#I'm so tired#i am really very close to being the most tired#(im just venting because this is the only place I can don't mind me)#(and please block that 'negativity' tag if you need to)#(ps im not interested in debating what the mobility scooter and orthopedic shoe stuff really meant thanks#and if anyone doesn't feel like respecting that then hey I've got a nice block button myself)
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birthday sluggy (it is NOT my birthday yet but i needed to draw them before i go hide)
#rain world#rainworld#slugcat#oc#i guess?#im never gonna draw them again#i am NOT excited for my birthday#dont mind the venting in the tags pls#but like the holidays have not been kind to me#weeee are not financially stable enough to properly have christmas#so for my birthday im anticipating i'll have to buy my own gifts#and i rlly don't Wanna because im also very broke#so im just. gonna try to hibernate till my birthday passes
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Textpost redraw that only works in a modern setting, so. I gave them silly outfits (and a little bit of lore!)
Some zoom ins on the illusts!
And Lore
Moe is like. A SHUT-IN shut-in. So in any modern setting that isn't "Hey wanna visit my hometown for a sec (events so far have followed canon at least loosely)", it would have to meet Alfonse under Extremely Specific Circumstances.
And finally! Textpost under cut!
#fire emblem#feh#I PUT. SO MUCH LOVE INTO THIS ACTUALLY IT'S INSANE. ESP FOR A TEXTPOST REDRAW LMFAOOO#the vision was so clear to me though. the vibe of the post (struggling). a catastrophic fall from grace.#the idea of alfonse venting about almost losing a social interaction. a performance slipping.#a setting where he isn't performing at all now. there is nothing to perform here bc moe. well.#also the visual. i am imagining a very specific nostalgic shitass swingset in my mind.#one that doesn't exist anymore actually bc they rebuilt it (probably for the best.) but that thing#would leave rust on your hands and arms and leave your ass blue. it sucked but it was awesome#the rust marks don't show up as clearly here unfortunately LMFAO so i had to point em out.#ALSO. I AM ACTUALLY SO INSANE ABOUT THEIR OUTFITS ACTUALLY. bc BOTH of them are hiding#alfonse is trying to blend in. pass as normal. moe is trying to distract you. but also desperately trying to communicate Something.#like do you wanna be seen or not little buddy (the answer is Yes.)#back to alfonse like if not 'normal' then at least 'put together'. will suffice. i think he's also beginning to loosen up here too tho#like. so at the beginning of it that he isn't Really LMFAOO but. he painted his nails black. just to try it.#it was also so fun to freehand the patterns... camo and argyle (the socks) (hardly noticeable but that's the intent!)#'beginning to loosen up' actually i think he's just starting to fall apart.#fe alfonse#moe tag#summoner oc#my art#my comics
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Feeling a bit frustrated so I'm gonna vent a bit below the cut. I'm not trying to be negative or rain on any parades, so I'll preface this by saying I'm gonna vent about my grievances regarding companion romance in DATV and if you don't want to see that I'll add a cut so you don't have to read anything that'll be a party pooper for you.
I don't anticipate anyone to read through what is essentially me bellyaching, but in case you do, just please be aware that it's really just a vent about something most people seem excited for and I don't want to spoil the fun for anybody.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've had this thought for awhile, and if I can be honest? I don't mean any negativity when I say this, and I hope the people that are enjoying this can have fun with it, but tbh I feel almost like I'm the only person in the fandom who just... does not care about all the shipping and companions getting together.
Like I'm aware it has been a thing since DA2 (I know Oghren gets with Felsi and a lot of companions flirt, especially in DA:A but idk if I'd count that as the same thing) and it's never bothered me overmuch, but it's just... Not what I care about. I think it can be cute in certain instances, like Sera and Dagna, (I don't see it much bc I'm usually the one romancing Sera but I think it's SOOOOO cute when it happens) and I think that the banter with Cole and Blackwall about his little crush on Josie is super fun, but those have never really made a big difference on character development imo.
And to be very honest, I hope it's like the last games where it's certain characters under certain circumstances. I know they said they've never had this many pairings, but I just... I'm not sure if I want it to be EVERY companion being able to get with every OTHER companion and that your game is always going to be chalk full of romance no matter what you do. Like I want it to be like with Dorian and Bull, where it can happen, but it's situational and depends on their exposure to each other out in the world.
I truly do not want to sound negative, because I don't hate romance. I understand that characters are a HUGE part of games and these games especially, and having some romance in there that's independent of the player has never bothered me. It can give another level of making characters feel more believable. But when it's every character getting with every character, and romance is implemented into every aspect, it sort of feels... Forced? It feels disingenuous, to me personally. I think it's just as unbelievable that every character is romantically compatible with absolutely everyone else as it is for the companions to only be attracted to the protagonist.
And while I wouldn't necessarily call myself aromantic, it is something that generally either disinterests me or can even make me feel uncomfortable when it's overtly pushed. Obviously, games are welcome to have content that is not intended for me, and I don't even dislike the fact that romance plays a part. In fact, when I romance characters, it's usually because I want to see how their story can develop and the way it can impact them as a character, or because I genuinely just enjoy them as a character. But I don't want that to be all that there is.
And I know that could read as hypocritical since I'm something of a selfshipper, but I think what bugs me isn't the romance being there, but the idea that it's going to be so??? Idk. It feels like it's almost a defining quality that they assume you're going to be actively engaging with, whether it's you romancing your Rook with a companion or you shipping the other characters together. And I do want to reiterate that I think the shipping and characters getting together is fine, it doesn't inherently bother me. But I don't like that it seems pretty deeply woven into most aspects of the game.
Like? What I specifically don't want is for the characters to be relatively bland if you strip away the romance, and that goes for their romance with Rook as well. I think that's my biggest fear, really. I just want the characters to be able to exist without those relationships, because I want to be able to exist without those relationships without feeling like I'm a black sheep for not engaging with them.
I just think games in general have gotten to the point where they basically don't think of aro or ace people at all. And while romance and aro and ace people can exist simultaneously, I just wish more spaces actively attempted to keep in mind that they will be there and that not everyone wants to be surrounded by those sorts of relationships.
It's easy enough to say "if you don't like romance, don't romance the characters", but when it's literally everywhere, it can feel a little alienating. I do wish there was some aro or ace rep in these games, because it gets to a point where it feels like that's the focal point of the game and you just have to deal with it.
Anyway, that's it. Sorry for the rant, and I mean it when I say I hope that people who are excited for this aspect of the game enjoy it. I just wish that, as someone who is exploring aromanticism, I wish that there were spaces that felt more accommodating for people like me that don't always want to interact too heavily with this kind of thing.
#i am venting and ranting incoherently#please do not pay me any mind#just feeling a bit frustrated as someone who is exploring the possibility of being aro in a predominantly non aro plane of existence#but genuinely no negativity tho#I'm just#aaaaah#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#if anyone reblogs this please don't tag specific characters or ship tags 🙏#im not anti ship and i think it'd be rly disrespectful to put this on the dashes of ppl who are just trying to have fun
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