#vending machine for vegetables

[sputnikodin]

it's really nice to be at the point where even if i feel baselessly shitty at the start of a day i can pretty reliably improve my mood by doing a lot of little things that make a difference when added together

[shoku-and-awe]

Found more old photos of farmstand vending machine produce! These were called 水前寺菜 suizenji-na, or Gynura bicolor, which sounds a little vaginal. I like it.

Obviously it was the purple that attracted me, but unfortunately that disappears once it's cooked. I just treated it like spinach and sauteed it up with olive oil and garlic, but if I see it again, I'll do like they apparently do in Okinawa and add it to miso soup or blanch it lightly and dress it with ponzu. Yum.

[cnvendingmachine]

fresh food vending machines# farm fresh/fresh food

[bruciemilf]

Young! Dick thought living with Bruce was unbearable until he ran away and lived with his short of-kind of- through adoption - uncle.

“He has you on a curfew? Lame. Go out, have fun, get stabbed. Builds character!”

“Vegetables? lol?? Here’s 20 bucks and a soda. Vending machines’ down the street.”

“You wanna get a tattoo?? Hell yeah. Come on, my buddy doesn’t check ID. He has his own needles. You’re vaccinated, right?”

TJ completely vanishes when he wants to. Like there’s an underworld in Gotham only he has access to. He becomes one with shadow and leaves Dick by himself for a worrying amount of time.

And patrol? Nightmare. First off, TJ’s turf crawls with filth from head to toe. He’s in the red light district, — every section of Gotham is a red light for Dick, thought, — raging from worst, to a thing beyond worst.

Bruce isn’t surprised when a small bundle leaps into his arms the minute he crosses Owl-Man and his newfound sidekick. Former. Dick is no sidekick. He’s Bruce’s partner.

“Asleep?”

“Sedated.”

“Junior.”

“Have you seen this kid flip? You’re welcome. Anyway, happy I could help. You know you totally owe me one, right?”

“Come home for dinner.”

“Nope.”

“Alfred says so.”

“God damn it.”

[thebestsetter]

Sae's nutritionist has been having a hard time ever since the athlete started a family with you.

Sae has always followed his diets strictly. Never ate chocolate, avoided sugar the best he could and mainly ate only fruits and vegetables. His behavior was always praised by all his nutritionists because of how easy it was working with him.

Sae started to "disobey" his diet when he moved in with you.

It all started when you began to cook him lunch for after morning practice. You knew he had to follow a strict diet, so you never made something too unhealthy. Sometimes, you even sneaked some sweet treats for him, but it was too little to do any harm, so his doctor just pretended not to notice it.

But this?? This was too much.

"Sae-kun" he said, pointing at the pink princess pot on Sae's hands "W-what is this?"

"My daughter packed my lunch today" Sae smiled softly, just like he always did when talking about you or your daughter. The doctor would've thought the whole ordeal was cute, if not for what was inside the pot: a box orange juice you buy on those vending machines (it's orange color was almost radioactive. God knows how much sugar there is in it), a (very) poorly made pink cupcake, with rainbow sprinkles all over it; and scrambled eggs (thank God at least one healthy thing).

"You can't possibly be thinking about eating this" his doctor deadpanned, but quickly added "T-the cupcake and the juice, I mean. The eggs are fine"

Sae's smile instantly fell, and he stared at the nutritionist with a frown

"What's wrong with my daughter's food?" It wasn't a question. Sae was daring the doctor to say something bad about the cupcake his sweet, lovely daughter made, staring at him with a cold and almost dangerous gaze.

The poor doctor should've stopped there. He really should have. But if he let Sae eat this Chernobyl looking cupcake, he might as well just throw his nutrition degree on the nearest trash can.

"It's not good for your health" the nutritionist said, staring at the Cinderella that was painted on the top of the pot "As an athlete, you know it's important to lose old eating habits. You can't eat this."

Sae stared at the doctor for what felt like centuries, but finally looked at the cupcake and carefully picked it up, holding it in his hands like it was the most valuable thing he ever held.

The way his gaze softened just by looking at that sorry excuse of a pantry almost scared the doctor. One second, he was looking at him with what could only be described as pure hatred. The other, he was looking at an ugly cupcake like it was a masterpiece.

Anyways, Sae's doctor was just glad this was over with. Itoshi obviously was going to throw the cupcake away, eat the eggs, and just order something else to compliment his lunch. It would all be okay.

Or so he thought .

"You know" Sae started, peeling the paper that was carefully wrapped around the sweet treat "It's interesting that you talk about losing"

"Why?" The doctor asked, not really liking Sae's voice

Sae stared at the man for a while, then slowly looked at the cupcake and brought it up to his mouth. Just as he was about to take a bite out of it, he stopped and stared at the man again

"Cause you just lost your job"

"What?"

"You're not deaf" Sae said "You're fired. Grab your stuff and get out of my sight"

"You can't do that!" The doctor screamed at him, which only made Sae roll his eyes

"I can and I did. Out. Now."

The nutritionist knew it was useless arguing with the stoic Sae Itoshi. With a sigh, he turned away from the player to go and collect his belongings

"Just one more thing before you go"

He heard Sae say, which urged him to turn around. The moment he laid his eyes on Itoshi, the footballer took a bite out of the pink cupcake

"This is fucking delicious."

The doctor would NEVER eat a cupcake in his life again.

[dannysdcxdpblog]

a list of incorrect quotes from batfam and danny's group

bruce: I don’t remember that. dick: Do you remember that night last week when you slept in a revolving door? bruce: …No. dick: Okay, do you remember when you were chased by those wild dogs for two miles? bruce: Not especially, no. dick: It was in between those two things.

-----------

tim: Woah dude, premarital handholding? That’s just not cool or groovy.

-----------

danny: tim, we tried things your way. tim: No, we didn't. danny: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

-----------

bruce: If you think I’m playing favorites, you’re wrong. I love all of you equally! bruce, earlier: I don’t care for tucker.

-----------

barb: :) damian: >:( barb: Turn that frown upside down! damian: ):< barb: Not sure what I was expecting…

--------------

dani: The scariest president had to be Rushmore because he had four heads. barb: Yeah, it’s a good thing we captured him in that mountain, even if we have to live in fear of the spell wearing off. tucker: Do you two still believe in that legend? Come on, Rushmore was killed a hundred years ago! We’re safe now. bruce: You people have clearly never taken a history lesson. His body was never found.

--------------

steph: I’m the smartest, wisest person in this group. jason: Really? Then why is your hand stuck in a vending machine? steph: I paid for my Mars Bar, I’m getting my Mars Bar.

--------------

damian: Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder. damian: glares at bruce bruce: Well, sorry I have morals!

------------

bruce: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time. tucker: Not my fault. Somebody put a wall in the way.

-------------

danny: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.

--------------

danny: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL- dick: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

------------

dick: I am not a whore, and, not that I’ve done the math, but, if I were, I’d be the super classy kind that gets flown to Dubai to stay in an underwater hotel.

--------

tucker: Some people are like slinkies. bruce: What? tucker: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. bruce: bruce: Please don't push tim down the stairs. tucker, pushing tim down the stairs: Too late.

---------

tim, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

----------------

dick: Is five a lot of followers? danny: Depends on the context. danny: On Instagram? No, not a lot of followers. danny: In a dark alley? Yes, a lot of followers.

[lale-txt]

𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓 𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐇 (𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮 𝐱 𝐟!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫) ❦ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟎𝟏: 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬

♫ Middle Kids - Bootleg Firecracker

I'll be your midnight bootleg firecracker I could blow up in your hand It could be great or a disaster That's the point that I am after

✰ 𝐜𝐰: the panic attack from the prologue is continuing here for a bit! written part between the handwritten notes and SMAU parts.

⭅ back to m.list

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Everything is on autopilot; it always is when the panic takes over. The blood rushing in your ears, the air squeezed out of your lungs, the blurry tunnel vision. Your shaky hands slam a few banknotes too many on the counter but you don’t wait for the change back; you’re out the door already when a voice is calling out to you, but you ignore it. Everything in you is telling you to run.

Foolish. So damn foolish. You’ve always been like that, haven’t you? Falling in love with the idea of someone; blindly following a siren call only to turn into a wreck. It’s a familiar pain, there’s a strange sense of safety in it. Don’t fly too close to the sun, don’t get loved too much, or else you’ll burn yourself.

It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.

Makki is talking relentlessly to you on the phone. He knows how quiet you get once the anxiety kicks in, how you can’t focus on anything but the overwhelming urge to run, how hard something as simple as breathing is when you get into your head like this. You wish he were here to hold your hand through this. You wish you never came here at all. You wish you weren’t so desperate to be loved.

Are you outside? Okay, good. Can you sit down somewhere till Bokuto picks you up? A bank maybe? Oh, wait, your location says there’s a playground right around the corner. You see it? Do they have swings? Remember in high school when Oikawa kissed the ground face first when we challenged each other who could swing the highest? You and I laughed so hard we almost had an accident. And of course Hajime won, stupid beefy monster that he is. Bet he’d still do, we should really try it out next time we’re all visiting home. Ah, there’s a vending machine? I knew that beeping was familiar. Whatcha gettin’? The same juice box like you always do? You know what we should do tomorrow when you get home? Grab some boba from the store you had pinned forever, my treat.

The tight knot in your chest is slowly unraveling as you listen to your best friend’s voice. In the background you occasionally hear Yukie munching on something, probably the vegetable chips you made yesterday. She’s less calm than Makki is, you can tell from the lack of blissful humming she usually does when eating and her hushed voice, asking Akaashi when Bokuto will get there. Despite everything, you manage to let out a small, hoarse laugh. At least it will make a great story with some water down the bridge.

“There you are.”

A warm voice, kind. Almost familiar, as if you’ve heard it in a dream before. You look over your shoulder and freeze, almost dropping your juice box. It’s not Bokuto, but the same guy from Onigiri Miya who you snapped at earlier when he asked if you were alright, while blotches of snot were dripping on your half-eaten onigiri. You feel hot shame creep up your neck, your heart rate picking up again. He tips his cap back a bit to get a better look at you under the dim light of the street lantern and you feel the urge to flee again.

“You were gone so fast, I couldn’t give you this,” he puffs, as if he actually ran after you. He holds up a brown paper bag, the logo of the shop stamped on it. “Since you didn’t seem to enjoy the onigiri you had at the shop, I packed you some more to eat when you’re feeling more like it.”

“That’s not necessary” you mutter while your eyes dart left and right, searching for a way to escape this situation. Somehow he is making your skin crawl; not because you feel like he’s gonna harm you, but because he makes you feel seen and you really, really hate that.

“Please.”

He takes a step towards you and shoves the bag into your hands, almost making you drop your phone. Makki on the other end calls out your name, sounding slightly concerned, but who wouldn’t be when their friend was approached by a stranger at night in an unfamiliar place far, far away from home?

“I don’t want it,” you say, your voice a bit more steady now. Your brows furrow and for the first time you look back at him. Somehow your panic is slowly getting replaced by irritation. Just what was his problem? “You’ll get in trouble when your boss finds out that you’re giving out stuff for free.”

This makes him laugh; a sound so clear and warm, washing away your worries for a fleeting second. How strange.

“It’s sweet that you worry, but I am the boss,” he replies with a smug smile and uses the second of surprise to firmly plant the paper bag into your hands. His fingers graze your skin and you can’t help but notice how warm they are; and you think about flying close to the sun again and it makes you want to cry.

Everything in you wants to run from this kindness. Run, before someone can notice that you don’t actually deserve it. You’re good at that, aren’t you? 

For a few heartbeats you’re too stunned to speak and the bag with onigiri weighs heavy in your hands. Hot shame crawls up your spine and your neck again, remembering how you cried at the counter and snapped at him like a hurt dog. Why would he even come after you, when you’ve already made your best effort to push him away? To get rejected again? You couldn’t even fathom to imagine.

“Hold up,” you say eventually when he’s about to turn around and leave, probably sensing your discomfort. You wish he wouldn’t look at you like that, with this faint smile playing upon his lips and his dark eyes searching yours, searching for something you could never offer and yet you can’t look away either. Your stomach is doing a funny little flip. 

From the depths of your bag you pull out the marred box of cupcakes you still have with you and hold them out for him. You don’t dare to look inside, but you can imagine they must look like a hot mess by now (probably even worse than you feel at this moment). 

“They’re lemon lavender cupcakes,” you explain and look away, rubbing the back of your neck. “After my own recipe. I baked like ten trays of them last night and those are from the best batch but I doubt they’re still any good now. The rest I left with my roommates, though honestly they’re not the best food critics and just happy when they’re being fed.”

Without noticing, your voice gets a bit more steady and excited now that you get to ramble about food, your brain pleased over the distraction. It’s the one thing that always helped with the panic. Your fingers are still fiddling, your weight shifting from one foot on the other, but your breathing is calmer now and the instinct to run is subsiding. 

“The lavender syrup I used for them is homemade, too. Tastes great with some sparkling water and mint. We grew the lavender I used on our rooftop garden. I’ll admit I’m not the best at keeping plants alive, but Akaashi does that for us thankfully, he’s amazing. I also have some tomatoes growing there, and tomato salad in this summer heat just hits differently in my opinion. Anyway, sorry for the cupcakes, I don’t know why I gave them to you, they’ve probably gone bad by now so you can just throw them out and–”

“What’cha talkin’ about? These are amazing,” the guy mutters with his mouth full, one smushed cupcake in his hand that he took a big bite out of like an apple, buttercream at the corner of his mouth. You snap out of your haze and blink at him as he takes another big bite, eyes widening and head nodding approvingly as he chews. 

He doesn’t seem like he’s lying or doing it only out of politeness–because you obviously had a very bad night–no; it’s as if he’s genuinely enjoying the food you made. Something inside of you twists again and it’s all too much. 

Thank fuck you don’t have to think about this any further, because the familiar face of Bokuto appears from around the corner, eyes lightening up when he recognizes you as well. He waves from a distance and you grab your things, hurrying past the boy who makes your tummy feel funny and towards Akaashi’s boyfriend who holds out his arms for you. You fling yourself into them for a quick hug and then quickly drag him away, unable to think about anything but putting some distance between… well, everything. 

“Was that Myaa-sam? You know him?”, Bokuto asks when he shoulders your bag, one arm around you as you walk back to his place. He’s not loosening his grip around you and you have a good idea what Akaashi must have ordered him to do: Don’t leave Y/N alone until she’s on her train back tomorrow.

“His onigiri are the best! I always tell Kashi he should bring you some when he’s here but he has no self-control and eats them all in one go. They taste best fresh anyway, you should try them while you’re here,” Bokuto rambles. You’re grateful for it, though. It’s easier than having to explain everything that happened and why your heart seems unable to stop pounding, and it helps you not to scream when really it’s all you want to do right now.

✽ 𝐚 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐫𝐮𝐧…

only a handful fun facts because this chapter is long as it is heh

yes the Tokyo group can afford an apartment with a rooftop garden. no i don't know how. one of them is secretly rich i guess (probably Makki)

Kiyoomi and Y/N sang Good Luck, Babe! 31 times that night

Atsumu makes a horrible bartender but somehow no one is stopping him either

Y/N likes to scribble every fleeting thought down because otherwise she will forget them in a heartbeat

grocery store runs together are one of her favorite activities with friends

✰ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓:

@brithedemonspawn @notverymarley @yuminako @gigiiiiislife @wyrcan

@krissiekris @kentocalls @simp-simp-no-mi

send me an ask or dm to be added (or removed, no hard feelings ♡)! minors DNI!

[rottenpumpkin13]

I love how so many of us saw Lazard and decided that he is both the parental stand-in unit and the zookeeper of all of SOLDIER.

He doesn't need to be enhanced; the single parent anxiety and stress give him all the necessary abilities and power he needs to call upon when time demands!

 

–🪷

Lazard: I am a professional Director of SOLDIER, not a babysitter.

Also Lazard, in the same day:

• *passive aggressively sweeping the lounge* You will all miss me when I die."

• "Zack Fair, you are NOT having vending machine snacks for lunch. You will eat a vegetable or so help me Gaia I will take away your phone."

• "Sephiroth, for the last time, a leather coat is not proper attire for a Shinra gala. Here's that blazer I got you. Yes, it's still black. No, you can't bring Masamune."

• "Angeal, please stop bringing in stray puppies. This is a military facility, not a rescue shelter... but since they're already here, I'll set up a playpen in my office. Oh look! This one likes me, how adorable."

• *rewards good behavior with gold star stickers and lollipops*

• *on the phone* "Sephiroth, I don't care if you're in the middle of a mission. Did you eat your lunch? I packed you a balanced meal and those protein bars you like."

• *In the break room* "WHO PUT THEIR SWORD IN THE FRIDGE!?"

• *while picking up boots someone left in the middle of the hallway* "Oh, forgive me! I wasn't aware we lived in a barn!"

• *While Sephiroth and Genesis are yelling at each other in the background* "Be nice to—BE NICE TO EACH OTHER. HEY—HEY! NO SHOVING—for the love of—*removes shoe to use for discipline*

• "Genesis Rhapsodos, did you just use fire materia to heat up your coffee? We have a perfectly good coffee maker RIGHT THERE."

• *while Sephiroth is venting to him in his office* "Yes, Sephiroth, I'm aware Professor Hojo is a bastard. Now go have a fruit snack and lay down. Would you like a coloring book?"

• *during a meeting with the president*/ *aggressively gesturing for AGS to sit up straight*

[autumnmobile12]

I'm imagining before they took over the Paranormal Liberation Front, these guys probably survived off of vending machine snacks, canned whatever, and maybe had to dumpster dive at least once. (Oh, the indignity.) They don't strike me as having hunter/gatherer know-how unless it's raiding somebody's vegetable garden.

...definitely an interesting sight, turning on your porch light and finding the nation's most wanted squatting in your backyard like a bunch of raccoons as they make off with your turnips.

And what's funnier about the canned goods situation is the LoV didn't seem to be hiding out in places that had electricity/gas/running water, so there's also the nightly dilemma of either eating cold soup or playing Russian roulette in asking Dabi to heat it up and praying he's not in a murderous mood.

[yerimbrit]

WWIB > 5. lunch with pretty (wc: 1.2k)

danielle grins happily as she listens to y/n explain each classroom and their respective teachers. mrs. kim and mr. park, the math teachers, mr. baek the literature teacher—the list goes on. y/n has more annoyed complaints to say about mr. song, which makes danielle giggle with her hand covering her mouth.

she notices her mentor has a hard time making eye contact with her. everyone that she's talked to is okay, but it seems it's different when it comes to danielle. it reassures her in thinking that her seatmate may already have some feelings for her too.

"mrs. kim is nice, but she keeps giving us pop quizzes," y/n gulps down the last of her pocari sweat and throws it away at the nearest recycling bin. "i don't know about mr. park but from what i've heard for eunchae—the girl who kept poking me in class today—he likes pop quizzes too."

danielle takes a sip of her strawberry milk. y/n was adamant about treating her, even if it was just the school vending machines. they finally replaced the selection with better drinks, and everyone's been swarming the machines during break according to the girl. "that's bad," she pouts, "i can't do well on tests without studying super hard; i'll have to study everyday."

y/n widens her eyes and shakes her head, finally glancing at danielle. the transfer student's eyes glimmer with genuine fear. "ah, it's not that bad! they're usually right after we review some introductory material or something like that, don't worry."

they walk through the hallways. some students stare in awe at danielle as they walk past the pair, even more so when she greets each of them with a bright smile. y/n looks like she's seconds away from either passing out or growling at the other students.

they're about to enter the cafeteria when danielle stops briefly. "you didn't have plans with your friends, did you? i know i asked if you wanted to eat lunch together but it's not too late to back out..."

y/n ponders for a moment, glancing around. "i'll... i want to eat lunch with you, it's okay. do you know anyone else here?" she slowly asks. 'she really has a permanent smile on her face,' y/n notes in her head.

"i have a friend who's a senior, but she's... busy today. i can always catch up with her later!" danielle answers easily, hoisting her backpack up to adjust it.

y/n nods and they walk into the already-bustling lunchroom. they don't bother getting in line since danielle brought her own food for today and y/n had a particularly big breakfast with haerin.

"you're not gonna eat?" danielle decides to question this decision, pulling her comically large lunchbox out of her bag, which separates into three different containers. she almost looks disappointed at the lack of food in front of her mentor. 'she's really expressive,' y/n adds to her mental note.

the girl in front of her stares in bewilderment, looking between danielle and her abundance of food that she prepared for lunch. "is that all for you?" she asks in astonishment, before quickly realizing that danielle might take it the wrong way. "i mean, not that i'm calling you-"

y/n gets cut off by the girl laughing. the sound makes her feel like she's floating, ready to ascend to whatever's up there. 'this must be heaven.'

"it's okay! i'm a big eater, i'm pretty active. i used to do track back in australia, but i had to quit because my family was moving back to korea."

the girl across from her nods in understanding, drumming her fingertips on top of the table. "you're from australia?"

"yeah! i was born there but we moved back and forth between seoul and newcastle. my mom's korean."

danielle takes the lids off of her lunchbox containers, revealing a copious amount of gimbap, some cutlery, and a whole box dedicated to a mix of cherry tomatoes and baby carrots. she gestures to the container filled with the fruits and vegetables. "want some?"

"oh," y/n's mouth forms an 'o' shape, and she picks a cherry tomato from the pile. "thank you."

the australian watches as y/n pops the fruit into her mouth with expectant eyes. "is it sweet?"

"mm, very."

"that's good! i love fruits and vegetables, i can't go a day without having them. oh, especially carrots. i love carrots," danielle rambles as she picks up a piece of her gimbap with her chopsticks and shoves it in her mouth. she repeats this until all of her lunch is gone, before y/n can even blink.

"hey loser," eunchae sets her tray down on the table, taking a seat next to y/n. "hi danielle!"

danielle flashes a huge grin and waves, recognizing the girl as the person that y/n was talking about earlier. "hello! eunchae...?"

"big baby..." y/n mutters under her breath. unfortunately for her, eunchae hears it and pinches her on the side. they side-eye each other.

then, as if nothing happened, she turns back to danielle with a friendly expression. "that's right! yunjin-unnie told me lots about you."

this turns out to be something that danielle didn't expect, because she lets out a loud gasp. "you know yunjin-unnie!?"

y/n curses at eunchae in her head.

the two get wrapped up in an exciting conversation about yunjin and how they know her, and also getting to know each other in the process. danielle, yunjin, and another girl named yuna grew up together, and they still keep in touch even now. they keep each other updated on almost every detail of their lives while danielle is away, and also exchanging small pieces of gossip.

eunchae's older sister, chaewon, is close friends with the musician, and she describes them as a "budding situationship" before she laughs it off and changes to a different subject. internally, y/n takes back the curses she directed to the younger girl as she also got to know the pretty girl better through their interaction.

two figures approach their table and eunchae and danielle's conversation is put on pause in order to see who arrived.

"ah, finally!" y/n stands up, moving her bag so the student council power couple could sit. "you took forever."

"danielle," eunchae starts, pointing to the girls that had just settled down in their seats with a lunchbox that the secretary packed. "this is hanni-unnie and minji-unnie, our very own student council secretary and president. guys, this is danielle, the new transfer."

"wow! it's so nice to meet you! i didn't know y/n-ssi was so connected."

"it's very nice to meet you, danielle," hanni states, making a face at y/n, who flips her off while the bright girl isn't looking.

the rest of the girls finish their lunch, with some taking their share of danielle's offered tomatoes and carrots (minji made a face, though no one except hanni and y/n noticed), and soon lunch was over. y/n's face pales at the bell.

she still has class with the new girl in two periods.

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taglist: @idkwhatim-doinghere101 @nnewjeansstuff @airice @yeetaberry127 @multiliker @saysirhc @shozeu @nwjnsloona @hannienthusiast @hotluvlet @gayforalll @technicallyimportantsweets @jeindall777 @popasi @gtfoiydlyj

[tehrevving]

Vincent Valentine Week Day 2 - Technology

Vincent gets a phone.

Warnings: Mildly suggestive (lewd emojis)

You regret volunteering to help Vincent get a phone. You should have just let someone else handle it, someone less likely to give into his ridiculous whims. You had planned to just go into the store and get him the cheapest, dumbest phone you could find. He’s completely useless with technology, a combination of not having kept up with its innovations and his unique physiology.

Instead of everything going to plan though, Vincent is standing in front of some high end special edition monstrosity, covered in swirling red and silver. It would suit him of course, but you’re the one that’s going to have to deal with it being too complicated for him to use. You’re shaking your head, completely exasperated while the poor store assistant looks on at the both of you utterly confused.

“That’s a full blown smartphone Vincent,” you sigh. “I really think you should just get something basic to start with. You know you’re going to struggle to use it.”

He levels you a look that would send weaker mortals running for the hills, unfortunately for him, you’re used to his shenanigans.

“Don’t be like that,” you chide. “You remember the microwave right? The door at that hotel? The vending machine?”

“This one,” he states, clearly and succinctly.

You sigh, knowing that you’re not going to be able to change his mind. “Fine,” you grit out. “Fine. Fine.” You turn to the shop assistant, their jaw almost on the floor. “This one please. He’ll pay for the phone, but can you just add him to my plan?”

It’s an excruciating few hours later and you’re still sitting with Vincent, regretting all of your life decisions up to his point as you show him how to use the phone. You’ve downloaded all the basic apps he’ll need and explained to him how to make a call and check the maps. You’ve written instructions in the notes app too, but you’re not sure if he’ll be able to remember how to access them. You also went into settings and gave yourself the ability to track his location. You don’t plan to stalk him, but you think it’ll come in handy.

You’ve taught him how to send messages, how the on screen keyboard works and how it doesn’t work with his gloves. You hadn’t even realised he would have to type with one hand, you’re just thankful his hands are big enough to span the entire screen. You’ve shown him emojis and gifs, just so he knows they exist. You think that’s almost everything.

You sigh and press the home button, sending him back to the main screen. “Send me a message,” you order gently.

You watch as he slowly but correctly navigates through the various menus, selects your name and then types out a message. Your phone pings:

Vincent Valentine: Hello.

You’re not going to laugh at the capital letter and full stop, that’s completely fine. You quickly type out a reply:

You: 👅🍆

He tilts his head as he reads the message flashing on the screen on his new phone. “What does that mean?” he asks, sounding extremely confused.

You turn to face him. “What do you think it means?” you tease.

His forehead wrinkles up with confusion and it’s adorable. “You would like to,” he pauses, sounding completely unsure. “Lick vegetables?”

Barret snickers loudly from the other side of the room.

You can’t help but laugh too. “No.”

You lean up and tap gently on Vincent’s arm. He knows what that means and leans down, placing his ear by your lips. “It means,” you whisper, tone teasing, “that I want to suck your dick.”

Vincent pulls back to his full height. He hums, tilting his head at his phone screen, studying your message. “I see,” he murmurs and turns his phone away from you, scrolling something on the screen.

You wait, relaxing against him. You’re going to need a drink tonight, multiple drinks. You like him, you care about him of course, but sometimes it’s really difficult to be patient with him. Your phone buzzes and you look at it:

Vincent Valentine: 👅 🍑

You can’t help the loud burst of laughter that escapes you. Vincent looks down at you with an extremely confused and concerned expression. Honestly that just makes you cackle harder. “That was good. A really good try,” you reassure him. “Unfortunately that means something else.” You beckon him down again and whisper in his ear. “That means that you want to eat ass.”

He draws back, his face completely scrunched up with confusion. “Why does that have shorthand?” he trails off, often confused by modern sexual slang. “Would you like that? Should we be doing that?”

You squeak and bury closer to him with embarrassment, shaking your head. “No it’s fine,” you stammer.

He chuckles, hand ruffling your hair gently. “Then how do I say what I meant?”

You pull away with a sigh and start scrolling through more emojis.

You’re lying in bed that night about to sleep when your phone buzzes unexpectedly. You grab it, finding a message:

Vincent Valentine: Goodnight. 😘

You can’t help but smile, quickly sending a similar response. Maybe him having a phone will be worth it, despite how much pain it’s going to cause you.

[monsterswithimagines]

Maccas - Nathan Young

Nathan Young x Female!Reader

Masterlist

Summary: You and Nathan are sorting through food for the needy. Nathan is being unhelpful.

Words: 1.1k

A/N: honestly, this is just kind of a practice-fic. I'm trying to decide if I want to write a multichapter fic about Nathan or not.

~

Sally had decided this morning that splitting your group up was the only way to get you all to be at least mildly productive.

Of course, she'd then gone about it in the dumbest way possible: she'd stuck Alisha and Curtis together on litter duty, which probably meant they were going to end up shagging somewhere, and she was making you and Nathan sort through food for the food drive. Simon and Kelly–who were somewhere else in the community centre sorting through clothes donated to a charity shop–were probably the only ones getting any real work done right about now.

To be fair, it probably wouldn't have mattered who Sally had put Nathan with. He was never productive and he wasn't about to start now.

Just now he was sitting on the floor stuffing his face with a family size bag of crisps.

“You know those are meant for the needy?” you asked, rolling your eyes at him.

“I am the needy,” Nathan said good-naturedly. “If you hadn't noticed, I'm livin’ in the community centre.”

He had a point, but you weren't about to concede to that when he was making you do all of this work by yourself. Instead, you set another box of sorted, non-expired food on top of the last one you'd filled and sighed, looking at all the unsorted cans, packs, bottles and whatever-the-fuck that you still had to go through.

“Alright then,” Nathan said, getting to his feet in a semi-graceful motion and wiping his greasy hands on the sides of his orange jumpsuit. He walked over to the boxes you'd already sorted. “Where do these go?”

“The front hall.”

Nathan nodded, but when he attempted to lift the box you'd just set down, he quickly dropped it again.

“Jesus! Did ya have to make it so heavy?”

You gave Nathan an unimpressed look and, with some grumbling and grunting, he picked up the box again and began to carry it where it needed to go.

Only for the bottom of the box to rip before he'd even left the room.

The food went spilling everywhere. It was a good thing it was mostly cans you'd put in there–they may have been dented, but at least they weren't breakable.

“Nathan!” you exclaimed.

“What? That wasn't my fault,” Nathan complained. “You didn't need to fill up the box that much!”

“You're supposed to hold the bottom when you lift it, you twat,” you snapped, pulling a hand through your hair. “Do you have no common sense?”

“Well, clearly I don't!” Nathan said, leaning down to pick up cans and setting them back on the table with the unsorted stuff. Great. “What is this shit, anyway. Beans? Classic. That's what people need. More beans.”

“You're such a wanker.”

You fell silent, then, even as Nathan kept chattering on about how beans were the worst type of vegetable, right below beets and brussel sprouts. You were only half-listening, checking expiration dates and putting things into a new box.

“And look, it's not that I don't think people need vegetables, okay? But I'm just sayin', some carrots, some peas–” He paused. “Anyway. Y'know what poor people really need? Condoms. I'm tellin’ ya, they just wanna be able to shag without the danger of having yet another tyke they can't afford. Condoms and maybe some booze. You're never hungry if you drink enough.”

“Is that what you're doing then?” you asked, glancing at Nathan. He seemed surprised you'd interrupted his ranting. “Getting drunk every night and shagging people?”

“Well,” Nathan said, grinning. “Not every night."

You gave him a look, and he shrugged.

"I just kinda sit around, eat whatever I can get out of the vending machines and go to bed early.” A short moment. “Sometimes I do nick some beers from the kitchen. But don't tell anyone.”

That was just… profoundly sad. You didn't know what to say to that.

“What about you, then?” Nathan asked. Suddenly, he was next to you, actually helping you sort through things. Admittedly, he just sort of chucked everything he deemed edible into boxes without caring if that counted as ‘sorted’ or not, but it was more than he'd been doing before. “What do you do every night?”

“Not much, either, I guess. Sometimes I go for drinks with some mates.”

Less and less, these days. Ever since you'd started community service, it was as if your old mates had faded into the background of your life, replaced by your fellow young offenders. Sometimes you and Kelly went out to the pubs, and Alisha had tried to invite you to go clubbing with her a few times now–but that didn't really seem like your scene anymore.

Then there was the times you all went out together, but it made no sense telling Nathan about that, considering he was there.

“Mostly I stay home, clean up around my flat, read a little,” you said with a shrug.

“So you have no life, the– Ow!” Nathan rubbed his arm where you'd just punched him. “Jesus.”

“I used to have more of a life before I went and got myself arrested,” you said. “I'm pretty sure going out and getting profoundly fucked up on several kinds of substances breaches the terms of my ASBO. Or at least, the things I do when I am that fucked breach them.”

“Pretty sure we're way beyond breaching ASBOs at this point,” Nathan pointed out. Then: “we should go out sometime.”

“Huh?”

“Oh, yeah, we'd totally have fun. You and me and a couple'a shots, maybe some coke or somethin’. Who knows what we'd get up to?”

“That sounds like a bad idea.”

“No, no, it'll be fun!”

“Yeah, no.”

“You're so boring.”

Maybe you were, at that. You really had been more of a party girl before community service. But look where it had gotten you: stuck at the community centre every day, the blood of a probation worker on your hands…

You tried not to think too much about that.

Nathan was silent–somehow–for a whole minute before he said:

“So that's a no to the going out thing, then? We don't have to do drugs, we could just go to Maccas or something.”

You looked at Nathan and found him very pointedly not looking at you.

“Are you asking me on a date?”

“No!” Nathan exclaimed. “Well, unless you're about to say yes. Then yes.”

You blinked at him.

“Um,” you said. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Nathan asked, looking at you somewhat hopefully.

“No to the drugs. Yes to Maccas. And I'm not a shagging on the first date type of gal.”

“Right!” Nathan said, grinning. “Gotcha!”

He was a lot more helpful sorting through the rest of the food after that, and even managed not to rip any more boxes.

[splitster]

answering ASKSSSSS

featuring: headcanons, mspaint yonny, and more

check it out! ↓↓

UHH the timeline is already hard enough to follow for 4 it's a little messy... I imagine for the pom wraith AU, it's mostly the events of pikmin 4 with some extra bits tacked onto it (like Olimar encountering the plasm at some point on his lonesome).

WAHHH THANK YOU... heres some secret mod lore, yonny is the HARDEST motherfucker to draw for me. he was ever since i started drawing the rescue corps and he still is!!!!!!!!!!!! his stupid face is so HARD GRRUUAUUGGHH

THANK YOU!!! i have a few bernard drawings/doodles in the pipeline to post eventually

(ive done a few ask masterposts at this point so forgive me if i already answered this one) AHHHHH i mean pom DOES really like Olimar. he challenges her skills out on the field when she's trying to track him down as a leafling which she finds engaging, and she finds him quite charming from the logs she reads. after he's cured, he's nothing but kind and supportive.

i don't think she'd try to take off with him like the plasm, but she'd feel protective over him if something were to threaten him

WAUUGGHH THANK YOU!!!! putting my favorite fictional characters into an enclosure and watching them

THANK YOU!!! you get it, he's so wet and pathetic

YEAH i have more bernard incoming!!! he's so genuinely supportive and it kinda freaks pom out because she can't tell if he has ulterior motivations or not (he doesn't. he's just a really cool dude. they'll become besties💖)

i'll perform the summoning ritual for you anon

there he is. what a jolly fellow

THIS IS A REALLY GOOD QUESTION... i had to consult with my friends for a lengthy food discussion (big hearts to @cosmicocoffee who helped me with like literally all of them)

for Pom, she's a wraith, so she just likes interesting and strong tastes. she's very partial to sweet things, and she LOVES chocolate (because that's one of the first sweets she ever tasted). although, she also like really spicy things because it's a neat feeling. as for least favorite, uh... i mean, the girl will literally eat soap for fun. it's very rare for her to have a food item she despises. they DO exist though, she fucking hates raisins

Dingo likes MANLY food, like MEAT and RIBS. well, he mostly likes being seen eating it. he does have a fondness for sweet things and smoothies. the town he grew up in could get pretty cold, so he grew up eating quite a lot of hot meals like caldo de res (he's especially fond of soups made the way his mama used to make them). he also picks up a fondness for hot tea from growing up with yonny, but he always puts extra honey in his cups. dingo HATES some foods though, especially sushi. the last time he tried to impress people by eating sushi, Dingo was hunched over outside the restaurant with Yonny rubbing his back...

shepherd! likes coffee. @soupvnova said she'd go to starbucks (spacebucks?) often to get the pup cup for oatchi which is very good. she has the healthiest diet out of all of them with routine exercise, protein shakes, lots of fruits and shit. she does have a weakness and a bit of a sweet tooth though, especially for cake. it hardly puts a dent in her diet though given her metabolism, she's a very built captain. she's not a fan of steamed vegetables... too squishy for her.

while talking about shepherd it is imperative to share that Oatchi will eat ANYTHING. if something hits the ground it is in his mouth immediately, shepherd has had to wrestle him to get space dog-unsafe food outta there before. although she will also constantly sneak him stuff from the dinner table

collin's fun because he enjoys eating healthy, he's a fan of fresh spring salads and stuff like pineapples and watermelon, but he also has to live off of a lot of processed/vending machine food because the man pulls all nighters frequently. he's also prone to stress eating... you can find him demolishing a watermelon and he's just. covered with seeds. he likes crunchy foods and seeds-- he's very hamstercore. he comes to Despise instant noodles because of how often he has to rely on them for food in the dead of night

fucking uhhh yonny, he likes foods that pair well with reading, he has pretty "mature" tastes and enjoys tea, maybe a glass of wine if he's feeling it. he often gets tunnel vision with his work and will neglect to eat, and as their doctor he'll have to set reminders on his phone to go have a meal so he doesn't fall ill. i can imagine he's not too into sugary things...

we already know bernard has some very expensive tastes, but he might just struggle with some textures or tastes in food. like, he enjoys pizza, this man is just a very picky eater... i can see him having tastes all over the board though. also he's protective over his stuff, he cared more about dingo eating his pizza than abandoning him

russ. uh... russ. yeah

olimar and louie are not part of the rescue corps, but i could see olimar joining (and louie following) sometime after the events of 4! he'd get a much better benefits package... he'd be good at providing logistical support for rangers out on the field, although his achy back would probably keep him off the field himself

AHH THANK YOU!! i have written some things but i don't have anything published -- to be honest, i'm not much of a fic writer. most of my writing is mostly just me talking through ideas/stories/cool character moments with friends, which is not a very shareable format unfortunately💔

i will say, talking about ideas with buddies gives me a shit load of ideas/motivation for drawing, and a lot of the stuff i've posted probably had that as an origin

THANK YOU!! and yeah of course that's fine! every artist is a collection of inspirations, and i'm no exception. my style comes from studying what i like in art and media (made by other people). i'm honored you find me as an inspiration💖

AUGH AUGH THANK YOU!!! i appreciate the anatomically correct hearts 💖💖

YEAHH i have designs that i've been meaning to flesh out but i'm lazy... i've been sitting on a dingo and yonny wraith design for like a month now, i should just bite the bullet and post them as-is if i ever want to share them... oh well! it's all for fun, i'm not gonna stress about it looking good

---

thank you for reading this far!! and thank you all for the asks, i will continue to slowly get through them...

[cnvendingmachine]

fresh food vending machines# fresh vending machine# farm fresh vending m...

[resident-gay-bitch]

🦇 Stranger Saturdays 🦇

Chef Eddie x Overworked Steve (Steddie) cw: gets a little steamy at the end, nothing explicit but heavily implied

Steve who’s endlessly busy in his corperate big boy job and doesn’t have time or energy to cook, starts becoming really unhealthy, skipping meals, eating vending machine snacks and McDonald’s when he finally leaves the office at 2 am, and Robin snaps at him about it one day when he’s green, throwing up in his paper bin at work and refusing to go home. She demands he eat better!

So, he hires a private chef. Out the back of his big house he has a pool house that he ads to the advertisement. Basically, he’s offering free accommodation, plus a paycheck for someone to cook him three meals a day.

Enter Eddie Munson, who’s always loved cooking and is slowly losing his sanity as a line cook, wasting away in his grimy apartment one afternoon, thinking about the window he has to get sealed before winter and the new lock he needs on the door and is wondering if he can afford to buy a steak if he omits a few things on his next grocery run because his birthdays coming up, when he sees the add. Obviously, he jumps on it.

Steve, desperate, and a big fan of greasy burgers and diner breakfasts, hires Eddie immediately, doesn’t even meet the guy since he’s so busy at work, and lets Robin handle the rest since she was so adamant on it.

Steve wakes up at 5 every morning and is out the door before 6, and doesn’t get home till after 10 pm most nights, so Eddie keeps missing him.

He’s always sure to have dinner made and ready for Steve before he heads home, then knocks off for the night and either crashes or goes out.

He prepares lunch the day prior and leaves it in a lunch box in the fridge for Steve with a friendly sticky note to have a nice day, along with the ingredients.

He also wakes up at 4 every morning, or just stays up long enough, to have breakfast cooked and plated by the time Steve’s alarm goes off in the morning, then heads back to the pool house to sleep in before he can catch Steve.

It’s not for ages that they actually meet, and Steve feels guilty for never saying hello to the guy slaving over a stove for him three times a day, who’s literally living in his house, but he’s a busy man. Plus, the guy has a great gig, free housing, Nice housing, and all he has to do is cook a couple of meals a day, and can eat as much of the food as he likes?!

Steve does always send him thank you messages with compliments after each meal.

One evening, Steve comes home early. It’s been a very slow, terrible week and Steve just needed a break. Robin sent him home with strict demands to do some self care and SLEEP since he basically hasn’t slept all week.

Cue him walking in as Eddie’s cooking dinner.

He's got metal music blasting, hair tied back into a low bun, ripped jeans on and a tight top, all under an apron. He’s at the stove, stirring something up and banging his head, so Steve can’t see his face.

He turns around, heading to the island, lost in his business so he doesn’t even notice Steve standing in the doorway, and starts chopping up a pumpkin.

And not only is his face fucking cute, all big brown eyes and pink plush lips; he’s fucking hot. Tattoos down the length of his arms, big hands gripping the knife, muscles flexing, veins popping out as he pushes down on the blade to cut through the tough vegetable.

And Steve’s brain melts.

Eddie catches sight of him and actually screams.

They get acquainted quickly, Eddie’s adorably rambling about how grateful he is for the gig, telling Steve he was worried about his next grocery run and the coming winter, and how he’s a struggling musician; and with these paychecks and stability he’s afforded to use recording studios and a decent fucking amp for his guitar, all whilst he chops and stirs and cooks Steve his new favorite soup.

Steve goes on to thank Eddie for all these amazing fucking meals, how he actually feels really healthy again, and is able to do more in his day and sleep better at night, and how he always gets excited to come home to a good meal every night, maybe desert if he’s lucky, how he always loves Eddie’s little sticky notes.

Once the meal’s cooked and plated, Eddie goes to put his own in a take out container and give Steve his space, but Steve insists Eddie stay and eat with him. It’s the least he could do, right?

So they stay and chat over dinner, and then maybe Eddie just really likes Steve’s company, and maybe he thinks he’s really hot, and maybe he doesn’t want Steve to disappear to bed right now because god knows when the next time they’ll see each other is, so he suggests they have dessert.

And Eddie totally doesn’t suggest a fresh, homemade apple pie because he knows it will take ages on purpose, he just knows Steve likes Eddie’s apple pie.

And Steve helps him make it. He lets Eddie boss him around the kitchen and make fun of his atrocious pastry rolling technique, and tries not to blush because Eddie’s putting his big hands over Steve’s and teaching him how to do it properly. And Steve’s never liked people bossing him around before, he’s always been the big man in charge, but something about the way Eddie does it makes his insides tingle.

Once’s the pie is done and ready to eat (hours later), they sit together on the kitchen isle, and Steve’s wondering if it would be unethical to maybe ask this guy on a date because he’s really cute and fucking hot and he thinks maybe they’ve been flirting a bit, and he’s also not getting hard at the sight of Eddie pushing the icecream off his spoon with his finger and then licking it off-

But before Steve can even think any further on that, Eddie’s all up in his space, holding a spoon full of pie and ice cream to Steve’s lips, telling him to open, and Steve’s brain short circuits.

He tries to eat it nicely, he really does, but some melted ice cream dribbles down his chin, and Eddie picks Steve’s chin up and wipes it away with his thumb.

And then, the icing on the fucking cake, he presses his icecream coated thumb to Steve’s lips, and tells him to lick it clean.

Their pie is abandoned until morning, Eddie learns what it looks like upstairs, and Steve definitely gets the self care he needed that night.

When he rocks up at work the next day he’s a whole other person, and Robin is baffled. When he opens his lunchbox, he finds a slice of pie and a little note saying, “Hope you like it, princess, but I gotta say it’s not quite as sweet as your ass.” And then Robin suddenly gets it.

When Steve knocks off at 12 am that night, he flicks Eddie a text “Hope my dinner is microwaveable, I’ll be home in 10, wait for me upstairs?”

And once again, Steve shows up to work positively glowing. Oh and it’s nothing compared to the “self care” he gets on days off.

Steddie in EVERY universe