#varric wtf you can’t just be saying shit like that

[qunaricatnip]

woah woah woah did they just retcon the lyrium idol from da2??? cause I’m like 80% sure it wasn’t a dagger at the end of act 1

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Brutal Honesty Time: Dragon Age Companions Edition

Origins

I never really LIKED Alistair. No hate to those who do but I never vibed with him. He looked like my brother at the time I was playing so romance was OFF the table, but later when my brother grew his hair out ala Thor, I did romance him and while it’s cute I’m still: eh. I do think he’s best friends with some of my Wardens and do headcanon his relationship with Thea Surana is adorable (Muirin is not a good partner though.) but I just… meh.

Also, I cannot see this man as anything but straight and it’s just… I can’t. To me he’s the himbo lovable guy but he’s just not into dudes.

Wynne also never appealed to me in the sense that I felt she was preachy as fuck. She was to much a ‘older wiser mentor’ for the players and yet I felt that she was also the granny who was without a doubt to set in her ways. I have a headcanon that the Spirit of Faith that possessed her actually bound her to rigid rules. As such she cannot change really.

Dragon Age 2

Anders is to me right in his goals but I think killing him is still a reasonable reaction. I it really depends on who you play as but I’ve always felt that while I would be personally horrified the fact the Chantry did NOTHING to help the people they claim to watch over and the hell the Circles became are on their shoulders. Anders was RIGHT. But a Hawke killing him doesn’t make them wrong. Also he’s like my fifth fav romance in DA2. Yes I mean I like Sebastian’s over his. I just never clicked with Anders despite some epic lines.

Aveline as well I never… liked? To the extent others do I mean. She’s interesting but I was always wtf about her comments. She feels like a character they were forced to sort of shuffle into the story without finishing. Her entire Act 2 quest is atrocious (oh you must help her with a man really?) and I would love to explore her slowly coming to the realization that she was wrong in her actions/the system itself is broken. I think there’s a fantastic post going around to break this down firmly but I can’t really remember who made it. She’s a character I have to aggressively headcanon like Cullen to put up with.

Varric comes up to and for me… he is fun. He’s a fav for me. But I’m also sick of this guy. Most of my Hawkes are his friend because I love the ‘storyteller is the lovable rouge’ trope but like I have a few Hawkes he did not like. Yet here we are with him being besties. I really wish if we needed a continuing companion it was Dorian who has REASON to be in Tevinter. Varric can at in Kirkwall.

Inquisition

Actually a brutal honesty moment is me going: this game is rank 3 for me out of the three so far. I don’t HATE it. It’s a fun game. But god the entire open world they tried SUCKED. It’s so tedious I get bored after Haven is destroyed.

Blackwell has the better romance compared to Cullen and no you can’t tell me otherwise. It’s much more dramatic and impactful and I love him. Also people saying he killed kids ignore how the Templars murder children and how Cullen 100% was an accessory to it even if he didn’t do it himself. Also I always find it funny there’s uproar over Blackwall doing this when there is a graduation system where they MURDER INNOCENT PEOPLE but oh no that’s never discussed. Plus with how much other shit goes down- yeah Blackwall is irredeemable totally when it’s HUMAN NOBLE children who die.

I’ve said my piece about Cullen being a disappointment of a character.

I never actually liked Cassandra and even after romancing her she’s still bottom of them in my list. I’m just not able to make anyone hate me.

[happywitch416]

More because I can: Dorian, Solas, Dennet, Varric, and Sten.

Got Dorian already! Also, Solas is last and under a cut because I am Solas Critical and I know that’s a touchy subject for some. I think its cool other people enjoy his character so much! But I don’t and while I am a happy witch, I don’t want to be subjected to a witch hunt. Again.

Dennet

How I feel about this character

The man with the horses. He's blunt but most horse folks are. I like how his coming to Skyhold is basically you children don't know horses ill save them from you. And he just rolls with the nugs and dracolisks? That's a funny-looking horse? I guess? I like him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

His wife of course! They are a good team, he ie the horses and she is more the farming and its a good match.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Blackwall. They are stable buddies.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I don't have one?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Hm. More reactions to the strange rides. I want to know how he reacts to feeding differences. How does he hire stablehands? Stablehands needed, must be good with raw sheep.

Varric

How I feel about this character

Varric is the worst. Terrible awful.

Ha

I love Varric. I love how he tells Hawke's story, never mind it's his story, he would never admit that. And not just Hawkes but the stories of each of these ragtag nightmares he wrangles to a table for drinking and wicked grace. I like how he is a good person, that does bad things. He lies, but is honest about his lying. I dig that he's with the merchants guild and just doesn't do any of it. And I love that he's a storyteller. Anything and everything is a story. Also, I find his arms, shoulders, and back to be aesthetically pleasing. Holy shit. Just stand there and flex pls ill die happy.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Hawke, with him and Rose being the otp. Admittedly when I read other Varric Hawke pairings I go this is good followed by sticking my nose in the air and going but mine is better. I am that person, but I think everyone is allowed to love their version of their OTP best.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Cole, I dig that whole found family thing. I dig his and Bull's distrusting trust too. Like they get along but definitely give each other the suspicious look. And Viv! He's gonna write a book about her!

My unpopular opinion about this character

LET US ROMANCE HIM BIOWARE. Also the relationship with Bianca, the dwarf, sucks. Like. Thats not his or hers fault but it is so bad at this point. I also don't dig the ship with Cassandra. I just….its got problems for me.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Ending it with Bianca, its no longer good for either of them. Romance him. Cowards. More games of wicked grace. The inquisitor gets to hug him if Hawke dies, why can't we hug him more. More hugs.

Sten

How I feel about this character

Sten. My murder child. You become friends over a sword. He's sarcastic as shit. You have found a wastebin. He's just the best.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I don't. I just. I cant. He does not strike me as romanceable. He's gotta job to do and it ain't you.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Friend Warden and Shale. Team snark. And how many of your friends would rip someone's arms off for you. (If you are my friend, you can name one.)

My unpopular opinion about this character

Don't think I have one?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

More Sten! All the time. He's Arishok in dai yeah? Interaction! Delegation! Get me the hell out of Ferelden!

Solas- FYI This is Solas Critical, if thats a prob, feel free to skip! No hard feelings from me.

How I feel about this character

Immediate dislike. He's arrogant and a know it all. The Dalish were mean to me once. Well with that attitude I wouldn't take you seriously either. And the I don't like how things are so I'm going to destroy the world is just. Wtf dude. Fucking chill. Maybe. Take a normal nap and have a cookie. Extremes don't fix shit, which you should have already learned by now, the King of Mistakes. Also, he was my first Bioware Romance. I am Bitter. Especially since my next romance was King Alistair, as a dwarf. He dumped me too. Throw them into the fire.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

...no one. The lying, about where he's from why he's there who he is. The absolute ripping he does on the Dalish. Oh yeah, your culturally important face tattoo is a sign of slaves and I'm dumping you. Like. Sigh. It's not healthy. And I will leave it at that.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Varric. In their conversations, the man at the end of the world to be specific, they have two very different perspectives. Solas is pessimistic to his core. Varric is the one who sees someone surviving in spite of the odds and sees that survival as something worthy in of itself, as winning against the dark. Solas needs more influences that arent so doom and gloom. Flemeth/Mythal is the other. I think if she actually knew his end goal she wouldn't have handed over her power like what appears to have happened. She's spent how many years subtly guiding the hands that save the world? Why would she do that to let him destroy it? Unless of course, she knows things we don't. Or her spirit is laying in wait to possess him. Which I'm cool with.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Look, I dislike Solas and that's a dangerous opinion to have in fandom. My entire opinion is unpopular. Lol the one thing that probably irritates me the most is his treatment of Cole. Its all about what he thinks is best, not about what Cole wants. An important distinction. Cole wants to grow and do better and he's no its a spirit. While yelling that spirits need better treatment. Mmkay buddy

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

For someone who bitches about the black and white ideologies of the world, he's awful black and white himself. I would like someone to point it out. And I want the option to make him actually listen to the elves of the current time, the Dalish and the Alienages. Moping about in the past is good for exactly zero things. I mean apparently, he does in the books at some point? Masked Empire I think is what I have heard, I haven't read it yet. And we know he has this massive spy network. But does he actually pay attention to what his people are saying or is he so caught up in a million years ago? If you friend him, you see hints of it. But I want more damn it.

I understand why some folks love Solas, I however can’t. Its all good. 

[victoriousscarf]

Okay so it may have been somewhat obvious that I'm riding super high on Dragon Age feels and that's because I decided, like an idiot, to replay all three games jumbled up like mess, including the DLC for DA2 for the first time (shit Legacy is really good and after like four playthrough without Sebastian he's actually a bit of an adjustment and God the dog is so good). Which means I've like gone from Legacy to the Siege of Adamant to the Landsmeet in Orgins basically on different nights this week and it's been a ride and I have a lot of various thoughts but

One thing that constantly stands out to me is how lopsided the Warden vs Hawke choice is in Inquistion. Like I know a lot of people when confronted with Allistair like love Allistair (and no lie I'm fond of him even tho I've thrown him under various buses in my five playthroughs possibly more on that later) but like he'll never hold a candle to disaster dumpster child of my heart fucking Hawke.

But even more so narratively the Warden sacrificing themselves vs Hawke sacrificing themselves does not feel equal for several reasons.

One it feels like a betrayal of Hawkes story and arc, a sad, bitter end in a life full of bitter defeats and more than anything he's alone. Varric may or may not be there but Hawkes story was about their friends, their family, and to end alone in the darkness feels like it just spits on so much da2 was actually about. (I feel like YMMV here for sure but it doesn't sit right for me, being able to casually kill off the protagonist of a whole game and it feels more like a bitch move against the bad reviews da2 got than something that made narrative and emotional sense. I'm not saying Hawke wouldn't and shouldn't sacrifice themselves at some point, just man, not like this).

But on the flip side it does feel like a more satisfying end to basically any of the warden's stories. In no small part because bioware has been doing it's best to make us forget warden's short lifespans, plus, their whole motto is literally about sacrifice.

Okay so. Allistair abd Loghain both become wardens in Origins which is roughly ten years ago from the beginning of Inquistion, Inquistion is about three years long (?) so Allistair has been a warden longer than Loghain but they're both at the very least a decade into their wardenship. Pretty sure Origins doesn't mess around when they say wardens have about fifteen years to live post joining which means they're both dangerously close to the point where the taint is gonna start taking over their bodies and the calling becomes too loud to ignore (I think inquistion did weird things with the calling as being the only peril to wardens: uh no the point is the taint consumes them the calling gets louder and they go to the deep roads to die fighting rather than become a ghoul twisted by their poisoned blood. But of course that's a larger story about Inquistion trying to walk back a lot of the fucking weirdness and terror of the earlier games. Aside from Envy they somehow made fighting an army of blood mages dull I still don't get it). So what I'm saying is the Origin wardens don't really have that much more time. We don't know when Stroud joined but it was probably as long if not longer ago. Hawke meanwhile is probably somewhere between 30 and 40 and doesn't have a five year will probably be dead window.

Now this is the first time I've played Allistair as the warden so I'm not really through his bit yet so I can't speak to it entirely (tho I admit I find him sorta annoying? Like after all this time and you're as childish and victimized as ever. Ten years of being a warden and you can only complain? Ok. I get wanting to keep a character recingizable but I feel like what character development he gets in Origins is sorta ignored). But even so a dramatic sacrifice after being betrayed /again/ feels like a decent enough ending for his years as a warden. A redemption for an order he loved from the start. Stroud meanwhile is such a non character it's almost irrelevant to talk about him except to quote the warden motto: In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice. You might as well do the dramatic sacrifice to save others that's your job as a warden.

Loghain is last here because I actually think sacrificing himself in the fade is the best ending to warden!loghain's story you can actually get. (Also unlike Allistair who is upset and whiny about being hunted Loghain takes this with his usual grim humor like ah yes I'm still not one of them fancy that and I'm sorry I love him and his redemption arc so fucking much leave me here). Because like, he was the farmer turned poacher turned revolutionary turned war hero turned traitor turned king turned warden. He believes completely in his goal in front of him to the exclusion of things like sensibility and morals. He's loyalty was never to people but to Ferelden itself... Except sometimes he tripped on the way and then his lionheart tendencies go into overdrive. Marric. Anora. He loves selectively because he loves somewhat completely. He calls the Warden friend here in Inquistion something that makes me drop my controller and clutch my chest (and this last playthrough I actually earned a lot of approval from him so we actually /were/ just about friends... All you have to do is compliment Anora and you get +6 to +12 very quickly he's such a proud papa fucking kill me). Loghain doesn't have a lot of friends! He was never truly accepted by the wardens! He should have died during the Blight ten years ago! He's basically been living (and fighting) on borrowed time since then.

But here's the other thing: he doesn't have a lot of friends. The Warden. Marric.

Hawke.

He calls Hawke friend. (How did they meet??? Why don't we get along? How does mage!purple!Hawke and Loghain become friends??? I need to know!) This is a dude who cares for very few people but he and Hawke refer to each other as friends.

He's been living on borrowed times. He's been fighting all his life and he's betrayed and been betrayed and has done horrible things and made up for it as much as he can with his blade and blood and he's been hearing the calling scratch with it's claws at the back of his mind for months...

And if it comes down to him or Hawke let him sacrifice himseld for one of the few friends he's ever had. Let him make the choice to live up to his warden oath to eke out the tiniest bit more redemption open to him. It would have been a relief to him to die during the Blight, imagine how much more it is now, knowing he's protecting one of the few friends he's ever made. Knowing despite Hawkes furious yells this is better, because Hawke is a survivor and they're going to make it out of this too.

Tldr leaving Hawke in the fade seems a terrible end to their arc, leaving the warden makes narrative sense considering like warden lore but fuck me up it's like Loghain's best possible ending and I'm really emotional him and Hawke are friends wtf bioware you can't just say that and then never show me how this happened

[enchantment1385]

Three Fandoms

I was tagged by the wonderful @queen-of-the-crows I am VERY late... I’m so sorry! Okay here we go! 

Rules: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions, then tag people you wanna know better.

Three Fandoms: Dragon age / TES (I’ll stick to skyrim for this) / Mass Effect 

The first character you loved:  Dragon age ~ Alistair, and it was awkward. I had NO clue what I was doing, I kept giving him the wrong gifts, saying the wrong thing... Meanwhile I had Zev and Leliana telling me how great I was. When it finally happened i was thrilled... And then I died anyway... SIGH. 

Skyrim ~ Farkas. The man is a literal beast, can rip men apart or cleave them in two, and writes notes to his brother asking him to remove a spider from his room, because he’s scared of them... There is just something endearing about that.

Mass Effect ~ Wrex. He’s a cranky, older, krogan merc with a short fuse... But holy shit I love him!!! I can’t explain this, he’s just... Awesome. He made the team on every mission.

The character you relate to the most:  Dragon age ~ Hawke. without a doubt! I wasn’t blessed with superhuman powers, I just keep being put in totally unbelievable situations with only my humor and sarcasm to save me. Someday I’ll end up in the fade with a giant spider demon... Bugger.

Skyrim ~ This is tricky because TES games not known for their ‘Deep character writing’. Uhh... Sheogorath, daedric prince of madness.  The Isles, the Isles. A wonderful place! Except when it's horrible. Then it's horribly wonderful. Good for a visit. Or for an eternity. 

Mass Effect ~ Jack, although I am in no way as cool, i’m probably equally as damaged, and most definitely as foul mouthed. 

The character you’d slap:

Dragon age ~ Bianca... The real one. Okay, firstly, Varric and FemHawke SHOULD be together, at least in my bloody playthrough they damn well should be! Secondly, she shows up after CREATING the damn situation and then has the nerve to threaten you?! Nuh uh. Nope, sorry. Bitch slap into the abyss. 

Skyrim ~ Luckily, you get to brawl some assholes in the game, but they left a few people off the list, namely Nazeem and Maven Black-Briar... And those sisters in solitude... And Elenwen...  Actually, Pretty much 90% of people in the game could use a slap to be fair. 

Mass Effect ~ Miranda. Oooh boy and how. Stuck up snooty bitch.

Three favourite characters (in order of preference):

Dragon age ~ Alistair / Varric / Dorian 

Skyrim ~ Brynjolf /  Sheogorath / Barbus 

Mass Effect ~ Garrus / Thane / Wrex

A character you didn’t like at first but do now:

Dragon age ~ Isabela. My first Hawke was a duel wielding rogue, as such (and because I adore Varric), I never took her on any missions, so she took the book and pissed off for good. However, even though I still think her taking the book in the first place was SO DUMB, I do love her dialog, and her as a character.  

Skyrim ~ Brynjolf. So, I show up in Riften for the first time, try and get swindled by the guards, get threatened, witness a stable hand get threatened, so I offer to go into the inn and sort shit out. After a ‘to the point’ conversation with Sapphire, I turn to get a well earned room for the evening when, ‘Never earned a honest coin in your life, have you lass?’ WTF? A, who the fuck are you? B, what the hell has it got to do with you?! But honestly, Bryn is a sweetheart! 

Mass Effect ~ Miranda. Although over time I have come to appreciate her a LOT more, first playthrough I despised her...Like a whole bunch, as in, on my first mission, I just took Jacob, luckily we picked up Zaeed along the way. But to be fair to her, she’s more screwed up than most people in the game, despite seemingly having it all. 

Three OTPs:

Dragon age ~ FemHawke~Varric / Dorian ~ Lavellan / My OC’s ~ Anyone 

Skyrim ~ Just get skyrim romance. As apart from Farkas and Vilkas, all the other people you’ll love are un-romanceable... 

Mass Effect ~ Garrus ~ Shepard / Thane ~ Shepard / Joker ~ Shepard 

@heraldofwho (you done this?) @dreadhobo @sassylavellen @inquisitorsmabari 

[meatbag-status]

Some stupid Wagon Age meta shit brain dump

When you ask Cole what he thinks of Templars he says, “they’re heavy with forgotten songs. Like Varric.” That could be a reference to the Titans, but also I was thinking….holy shit, he said the word ‘forgotten’. Forgotten Ones? Or are the forgotten songs the songs of the Titans whom the dwarves can no longer “hear”? This got long and my brain hurts.

But when you ask about Red Templars (red lyrium is infected by the blight), he says, “they hear a different song. The song behind the doors old whispers want opened.” That’s a ref to the Old Gods telling Corypheshit and Co to enter the Golden City. And I just…what if the Old Gods are the Forgotten Ones? Yea, people have been theorizing the crap outta this and that has come up more than once, but dang, I never pay attention to shit Cole says cuz then my brain hurts.

 I forgot my point….my point is Cole said lyrium is a forgotten song and red lyrium is a different song from the Black City (blighty). And then I’m like…ok, so if a Titan represents lyrium, who’s boss is red lyrium? I figured it was a sick or dead Titan that started the blight shit, but but buuuut then how is the blight stuck in the fade??? How’d it get there? Which came first: red lyrium or the shit in the Black City??? What if…ok holy shit my brain hurts…what if……yup, lost the train of thought. Sorry. This paragraph is canceled. Maybe someone else can continue whatever the hell was going on in my brain a moment ago. Thanks.

Ok ok ok BUT, what’s interesting is that Cole said, “behind the doors,” as in the Old Gods are in the Black City. I always thought the Old Gods were just the fucking dragons, sleeping in the ground and maybe roaming around the fade liek the trash men (and women) they are, but I’ve never heard/read that the Old Gods are actually trapped inside the fuckin city! Did anyone else notice this shit? Cole….just fuckin spell it out like a normal son. This paragraph has been canceled because Cole said (in a sentence that makes more sense), “the song behind the doors THAT THE old whispers want opened.” So the Old Gods are not in the Black City, but the blight is. So yea….the Old Gods did want the Magisters to go in there. So the paragraph got canceled, bye.

OH BUT! The song is coming from behind the doors….ummmm red lyrium is in the Black City. So red lyrium is the source of the blight? And if that’s true, what the FUCK does that make the Black City??? And how are the Old Gods related? Bitch I bet I was right on about the Forgotten Ones (who just sound like rebellious little elves who hated the Evanuris lots).

“They feel older than they look. They’ve been changed and their bodies are incomplete now.” Older - Titan? Incomplete - dwarf? Like the dwarves are incomplete without being connected to their Titans or to the fade or whatever happened to them?

“The lyrium helps, but their bodies always want to connect to…something older. Bigger than they are.” Obviously Titans. Taking lyrium helps because their bodies always want to connect to gd Titans and it fuckin can’t so CHUG THAT LYRIUM! Ride the high!

“That’s why they block magic. They reach for that other thing and magic has no room to come in. Like when I listen to Varric.” That’s got to be a reference to lyrium somehow being tied to the fade, but also separate from it. Like Dagna’s mouth vomit on the subject of lyrium, dwarves, and tranquil. I just really wish they’d release DA4 already so I could fuckin know wtf is going on!

[relax-o-vision]

Okay, so here are some of my first impressions of Mass Effect: Andromeda. Not very spoilery, mostly because in the 14 hours I’ve played so far not a lot has happened. Put under a cut anyway, just to be sure.

I’m going to list some good, some bad, and some ugly. Like I said, however, these are only first impressions. I’m 17% in, so a lot can still happen.

Some good:

- I like the profile system, and the fact that I’m no longer restricted by a starting class. The variety of abilities to choose from is a little overwhelming, but that’s just what happens when you start a new rpg. I’m still learning.

- I like that weapon stats are back and more detailed than ever.

- the crafting system looks intriguing, though I haven’t gotten the chance to get into that, yet.

- Vetra. Big heart eyes. I’ve complained in the past that bioware has the habit of creating super goody good male characters and forcing them onto me like I have to care about guys, while mostly trying to make female companions “controversial” to some degree. Garrus and Varric come to mind. With Vetra it seems I finally got the female super good character, who gets to be funny and smart and attractive and strong and cunning and loyal all at once. That’s what I always wanted and I’ll be sure to drag her everywhere with me, always.

- tiddy plates are mostly gone! I mean, Cora still looks like shit but at least my protagonist gets to look like an actual human being.

- the soundtrack is not as memorable as in other Mass Effect games, but I enjoy it quite a bit.

- the dialogue wheel fulfills its purpose fine. it’s mostly clear what the character is going to say after choosing an option, and on the whole dialogues seem much more organic than they did in previous mass effect games

- non-squad members get banter and even though I strongly dislike the no-homo squad rule mass effect has I do not feel like Suvi and Gil are less important than the squad members.

Some bad:

- the story is extremely slow. I can’t even say anything more because after 14 hours I know as much as I knew before starting the game: I’m here to look for a place to stay. and I guess family stuff?

- we left 7 (?) races behind in the milky way and only got 2 as replacements. as a result I can go for seemingly miles and miles on planet surface and only encounter bugs. it’s like no man’s sky except that I get to laugh in that game when I see a giant buttplug hop past me

- the map. the nomad. hazzards. fights in hazzards. hello darkness my old friend. they give me vast places to explore, and then they actively discourage me from exploring.

- timed missions. they come out of nowhere and then it says: “you now have two (2) minutes to drive like a maniac through the desert and if you don’t make it people die.” wtf. I hope this was an exception.

- the characters are mostly flat cliches and for the first time in a bioware game I find myself skipping dialogues. everybody (with the exception of Vetra who is perfect) is kinda nice and kinda funny and kinda has a short temper but nobody means bad. it’s like I’m in a cheap action-comedy with seven bud spencers and a religious lesbian. kill me.

- additionally to the last point: they were aiming for a mature rating but then wrote dialogues clearly targeted at teenagers. no adult person talks like these adult characters. some lines made me physically cringe.

Some ugly:

Shall I say it? Homophobia and misogyny.

When the character creator was first shown off I was disappointed that hair was yet again genderlocked. Clearly you can categorize men and women by how we wear our hair????

Turns out that was just the cherry on top of the shit-cake.

I don’t even know where to start? I’m traveling with three straight men in my squad, as well as three female characters who are available to straight men.

Don’t want to piss off the people who send threats to your developers, huh? I’m sure they’re your best customers and should be catered to.

Of course in the far future we as people have evolved to the point where you don’t have to say the words gay and lesbian anymore and we defy stereotypes with hyperfeminine lesbian side characters, character, singular, one lesbian in the galaxy. But we can’t have dykes and fags running around on missions with the real people.

Or show too much PDA.

My biggest surprise perhaps was that with Andromeda I have found the first female companion who I dislike.

What is up with Cora? She comes along with her libfem kweer undercut and tells you (not directly but by context) that:

a) your relationship to your father is not as important as her relationship to your father

b) she as a human is the true asari on board (what a disgrace; though I’m having the impression that the writing team didn’t really read any asari lore for this game; either that or they really fucking hate them)

c) straight girl whines about being different and feeling unaccepted. in a game that sidelines gays and lesbians. that barely shows any same sex pda and does not feature a single m/m squad romance.

“boohoo I have space magic.”

Somebody needs to stop straight people or I’m using my space magic to open a breach, walk into the fade, and tear down the veil so the spirits of our fallen gay ancestors can come back and give you a reason to be so dramatic.

---

Homophobia makes me angry.

Anyway.

Overall I’m having moderate fun. I’m still looking forward to romance Vetra and getting to know Peebee and Suvi more. And I do see improvements made to dialogues, customization options, and combat in comparison to previous games.

I also think that my impression might be more positive if the game didn’t throw Dragon Age references in my face, thus making me compare the game to Inquisition (which so far is the better game), and if I had not just finished up Horizon Zero Dawn, which was spectacular and does make Mass Effect look last gen. But that’s how competition works. Someone else delivers what you promised and that makes you look bad.

Mostly, and this was very bizarre, I found myself looking for the old gang before remembering that I won’t be seeing them again. I miss the DS9 vibe from the old games. I miss visiting my favorite arsehole on Omega. I miss being part of a multi-cultural intergalactic space adventure.

As of now Andromeda seems pretty large and pretty empty.

Like I said, first impressions.

[fourth-axis]

DA:I and a whole lot of elfy shit (previously)

Leading the inquisition as a pointy-eared mage felt a bit like putting on two left shoes and your armor backwards, a deeply ill-fitting suit further cemented every time someone asked if you BELIEVE and the options on your table were to: - conform - dodge the question - tell them to stick the Maker up their ass 

but then, BUT THEN the Arbor Wilds happened and hooo boy! *stuffs Sera into a trunk* let’s talk elfy shit.

the REVELATIONS, the minds BLOWN, history SHATTERED, gods TALKED TO!! bullet list time:

i’m pretty certain that singularly devastating moment in the beginning when you inquisitor asks what a temple of mythal is, is a glitch and a bug and i will accept no other alternative

also Morrigan schooling me on eluvians....... where was my elfy “i know this shit” option?

the fall of Arlathan was caused by ancient elves warring among themselves and Tevinter pretty much just swooped in to feed on a corpse ahahahaHAHWHAT

at this point i’m assuming the elven pantheon was just a bunch of really powerful mages. lbr here, there’s no gods around, Andraste herself was probably a mage too and “the maker” a spirit from the fade 

and i’m MAD CACKLIN at the possible irony of Tevinter molding itself into a slavedriven mageocracy after the old elven empire because--

the face tattoos are slave markings

??????

???????????

exchanging local slavers for foreign slavers. oh man this race has 0% luck! Trespasser better hold some answers here. i like them markings, they look cool :<

Flemeth carries to soul of Mythal

“You cannot posses the unwilling.” Well if that doesn’t point to Morrigan being the next vessel then i don’t know what does

and by next vessel, i mean right there in the epilogue where Flemeth is interacting with the eluvian

don’t even talk to me about Loki Solas rn, i don’t know what to think other than painful betrayal and a thousand questions

when she’s all you do The People proud, i’m like tears in my eyes bro, this is monumental

the all-around best use of inquisition points was grabbing history knowledge and arcane knowledge. the utter satisfaction of summing Flemeth’s story in one sentence and having her sarcastically comment on it was The Best™

that awkward moment when no one in your party gives a shit or likes that you performed elven rituals, except for an Ancient Egg and a Vint....... y’all.

...NO I’m NOT done! i built you Andrastean fucks a chantry in the garden, i gave you a place to practice your religion while i had no love for it, and they can’t even muster decency when their inquisitor enters his own place of worship? get off!

we’re totaly ignoring that ppl were dying outside while i solved puzzles. absolutely irrelevant. 

ok but telling Solas and Morrigan to get a room when they tried to outnerd the other 8′D lmao perfect

figuring out who get’s to drink from The Well of Freaky Shit was a doozy, and it’s gonna keep haunting me through every playthrough

i refused because RP reasons, but it probably would have been the best fitting choice to drink. but when the Egg gives you such a stalwart NO then you know something’s rotten here. and it kinda was. kinda.

and yet, it also fits very nicely with Morrigan from a player perspective

also it gave me a chance to say “LOL now you gotta listen to your mom haha ;D”

i love my character so much, he even threw bear puns in Stone-Bear Hold. Cassandra’s groan was music to my ears

speaking of bear puns, the Jaws of Hakkon dlc was a wild loretastic ride that gets two thumbs up and more fuel for my chantry disdain

oh, what’s that? the first inquisitor and founder of the Seekers of Truth was an elven mage too? and history the Chantry buried all knowledge of him? and they abused his rite of tranquility to lobotomize mages? 

oh wow. what a shock. i am truly surprised. ಠ_ಠ

the descent was good too. the moment i saw lyrium veins looked like actual cardiovascular veins i was screaming “we’re WALKING INSIDE A TITAN!” it took my character a while to catch on but boy was i glad to hear him say it

Titan blood! but who killed it--them? the elven gods? lyrium hunger intensifies and all that??

????

Coryphishit was such a steamrolled battle though, i barely even felt it. after such a hype train of lore discovery, his end was so anticlimactic, and the game’s (first) end was so... happy? it just didn’t feel right. it wrapped up with a bow too nicely (minus Solas, wtf man...) and i didn’t even lose an arm. I was mourning that arm the moment it got the anchor so imagine my surprise when the game “ends” and not only is my hand still there but it’s not even killing me? that i know off... clearly the true ending is in Trespasser but that doesn’t erase the fact that Coryphilulz was just not a good villain. He needed more screen time post Haven destruction.

The final party was v nice and a bit sad, as more than half of your inner circle had that “we’ll be leaving soon” vibe :< listening to Varric talk of Kirkwall made me so Hawke-nostalgic, Leliana would be off to murder the Chantry into a new era of tolerance, Cass i hope goes to rebuild the Seekers proper, Blackwall on one of those redemption journeys, Sera off to do Jenny shit probably, Cole and Bull might be sticking around at least, and Curly and Josie. that’s a nice thought. Viv is def going back to Orlais to play some stone cold games and eat fancy cakes, and Dorian is off to get political in Tevinter. 

...that’s a one way ticked to assasiantion if i ever heard one. good intention bro, but i can’t let you do that *inquisitor rolls 20 on emotional blackmail* Dorian: well i guess i could stay a little longer Damn right you will. 

the last shot you get in the quarters, that balcony sunset hug triumvirate, it made me want to fling myself into the fucking sun. it was just so---so---*clenches fist* cute.

i gotta say, at this point (game finished, minus Trespasser) i can’t imagine any other race filling the shoes of the inquisitor with quite as much payoff as an elf mage. 

[happywitch416]

I'm going to keep asking you: Josephine, idk if I asked about Sebastian or not but if not then it's happening now, Cullen, Sera, Alistair, and Cassandra. I already know your feelings on most but my dude, your opinion is so important to me and also your posts are hilarious.

Did a Seb!

Josephine

How I feel about this character

Josie is that elegant, well spoken lady I dreamed of growing up to be when I was a wee punk. She has mystery! A good heart! Golden. Ruffles. The noble eldest of her family, saving them from doom. I think its fair obvious I am heart eyes gaga over Josie. And she's a gossip! True story, my favorite kind of person. Tell me all the things. 

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Leliana and Josie is probs my favorite ship for Josie. Next would be the not romance with Blackwall. I don't think I have a specific Inquisitor romance for that i like. But imagining her with an ex carta dwarf lady makes my heart feel fluffy. Val may get a cousin.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Also Leliana, i love their friendship? How they pick on Cullen and Cassandra. You know the shopkeepers cry in terror and joy when they arrive. Like yes a sale but oh the standard they demand.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I don't think I have one. Hm. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon 

I am actually good with her canon. A marriage would be nice in Trespasser. Oh that would be glorious. The flowers alone. 

Cullen

How I feel about this character

Cullen is. He is not my favorite normally. Fandom ruined him for me, #notsorry. Now. I do think he is a character with great potential. I also want that furry cloak thing. I need it.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I dont have specific ship but there are a couple, as in literally 2, specific pairings that I read. But its more because I love friends writing then because I am googly eyed over noodle head. 

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Therapy. He needs it. Do they have lyrium anonymous? That's what he needs.

My unpopular opinion about this character

That is not a redemption arc. He definitely becomes more selective with his mage distrust/hate. But he doesn't really change from his all mages can't be trusted stance. And the templars were poor mistreated puppies! Yeah no they problematic to bud.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Him interacting with now ex templars. Growth beyond the dogma and the addictions. It needed more. But kore isn't for boys who are pretty i guess 

Sera

How I feel about this character

Sera is a disaster and I love her. Sera is all of us who saw a qunari lady and also went woof. I like that she's nobody compared to most of your companions. She's a real people. Also eat the rich mentality is just yes. Throw them into the pit. And she brings the inquisitor in as a red jenny? Who else goes after this life, let's have another for you let's go. Her friendship is also so sweet? For all her friends, I don't think she gets friend friends until she's with the inquisition. Also, I totally get how she talks, train of thought is relatable. 

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Dagna!!!! They are just so damn cute. I am also partial to her and my Asa. 

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Iron Bull. Mayhem. I also love her and Blackwall. She gets him. He gets her. Dick jokes. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

She is perfect. And has a valid point. If there is a golden throne whats worse? An ass in it or it being empty? I also like that shes not an elfy elf. So many are doom gloom our lost cause. From like...over a thousand years ago. Can we grow pls

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I want to be a wingman on a Sera and Dagna date. Let me set up my explosions are for bonding lesbians. 

Alistair

How I feel about this character

I was too old for Alistair when I first met him. He's a child. Literally. He's like 19. Thats a baby adult, the boy who didn't want to be king. Also i found this lone blossoming rose amongst the dead things so i took it..for being chantry raised he is not very understanding of miracles. And you gift him dolls. Why did duncan go oh yeah i'll take this one to probably die young. Like why dude. He could have left the chantry with alistair and been like okay here's 100 gold and go that way. You have a good sword arm, become a guard somewhere. Instead of feed the child blood... I also really hate how he treats Morrigan. Wtf man. And yes, she is mean back but to say he was inappropriate when they first met would be an understatement. I'd be a bitch to him to.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

No ships. Oops.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Wynne, he needs a mother. So badly. He needs cookies and hugs and stories. He may not be a child by age, but definitely by maturity. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

Like. My whole ass opinion lol

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I want him and Leliana to discuss that rose lol but i want alistair to grow a spine. He doesn't want to be king. His uncle treated him like shit, tell him no? Walk out on that king deal? Like thats barring sparing loghain bc he does sorta grow a pair then but abandons his duty that supposedly means so much. Why couldn't he have been like nah Anora is the queen why should i take her spot? That i don't want? 

Cassandra

How I feel about this character

I like that Cass is so Cass. Okay. She will fucking punch you in the face but also reads smut. I have found my people. She tries to right her wrongs, and the orders. She is also willing to eat her own words. She believes in people and goodness. While also maybe stabbing people. But she is also so naive? She believes Varric. Honey. Sweetie. He's full of shit and your full of shit meter is broken.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I don't really have a ship for Cass. Bear with me here, she is married to her work. She believes in it with every fiber in her soul. If she had to choose between romance and what she felt called to, what was right? She would let go of the romance. Which is supported by canon if you romance her and she becomes divine. Love only in glances. The world needs saving after all. And for cass it won't ever stop needing to be saved.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Cullen. She is a good influence on him, that he can do better if he tries, that he is better than he thinks. Also Dorian, their love of books would be a good start for a friendship. You know they read a lot of similar smut, especially if it's terrible. How else do you be mean to it.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I am angry she tried to murder my dwarf. We will go rounds lady. In her defense, I understand why she wanted to stove his head in lol and that's why I don't ship them. To antagonistic for me.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I am pretty happy with her canon.