#vance is just angsted up

[staggersz]

I just started school again this week from fall break and omg 😭 HORRIBLE I TELL U HORRIBLE. but, it got me thinking, what do u think the tbp boys opinions r on school?

AAAA i’m sorry about school! school literally sucks so bad 😭

but omg i love this question .

I’m just gonna talk about how their opinions on school are after the basement and how their opinions changed (my tumblr is basically a page for my AU now isnt it 😞)

Finney pretty much dislikes school before and after; he likes keeping his grades good but he just hates going because of bullies and the stares he gets after the basement. It makes him feel worse. He likes science the most. He gets annoyed when people call him names but most of the time he doesn’t mind because he just wants to get through school. He goes to the counselor only sometimes.

Robin hates school, and he probably always will. I like to think he has good or at least nice grades in all of his classes except math, and he’s barely passing science. He has dyscalculia, so he feels stupid when it comes to numbers but is afraid to ask for help from anyone besides Finney. He’s in the counselor’s office a lot talking about his thoughts, emotions and personal issues. Robin deals with bullying a bit but of course he isn’t sitting by and taking it. Sometimes stuff is written on his locker also.

Bruce used to love school but now he’s like, indifferent leaning towards disliking it. He still has amazing grades and is probably on high honor roll, but he feels out of place now. He feels like he’s popular but not the way he wants to be. He thinks he missed a lot since he wasn’t there for the beginning of the year, plus he just feels out of place in his usual friend group now. Sometimes he just gets irritated and stays alone. He spaces out in school a lot, which leads to a lot of counselor appointments that he himself didn’t schedule.

Vance hates school more than anything. He barely has friends besides yknow, the others that were in the basement but now he just feels completely outcasted. He was given a chance to move up a grade so he took it, so he’s a freshman when he goes back to school. He had a lot of testing to do though, which luckily he passed. Vance is pretty much on a hair’s trigger now. If someone says ANYTHING about his experiences or the other’s experiences, there’s a high chance he’s gonna come out of that with a suspension or a detention. He manages to keep okay grades though.

Billy liked school kind of. He’s kinda introverted but when he was younger he would hang out with Robin and Finney at school, so it kind of got different when he went missing. He had nice grades and he was kind of social.

Griffin disliked school. He was never talked to and he sat alone every class, every year. If he was in a group assignment, he usually asked the teacher if he could work by himself. But he’s a good kid and had good grades.

Griffin and Billy come as a package deal with a lot of things but especially school after the basement events. They’re pretty much glued together. They both dislike school a lot because of bullies. They have a lot of classes together because of their separation anxiety, which the school knows about. Billy is really sad when he graduates 8th grade and is alone without Griffin for a year. They’re in the counselor’s office a lot or have a teaching assistant take them out of their classes for a bit. It’s not because they want to talk to them and their problems, but to just let them calm down and work in an environment where they aren’t pressured and can just work with each other.

thats my opinions 😇

[nympippi]

Vance loves listening to Finn’s space rants 💕🪐 🚀

[enbysiriusblack]

Dumbledore sacrificed someone to Voldemort just so Snape would be believed as a spy?? Oh my god I hate Dumbledore even more now…

yep. i mean, obviously it's not super clear but basically snape asks/tells dumbledore everything in terms of being a spy and after emmeline's death, snape admits to giving the death eaters the information in order to kill her (which means dumbledore must have agreed/told snape to do so).

[ellecdc]

The Winner Takes It All

poly!Marauders x reader (gender not specified)

CW: slight light angst (between reader x other students), confusion on relationship status, fluff

You didn’t really know what you had done to win the affections of the infamous Marauder boys – namely Remus, Sirius, and James – but you weren’t going to question it too deeply; you quite enjoyed their company.

Everyone knew the three boys were together: Sirius and James were never known for their subtlety, and Remus was the reluctant (but quite pleased) victim of their near constant PDA. 

Somehow, you too had gotten swept up in their affections.

It wasn’t official – in the sense that you and the boys had never discussed what their flirting, pet names, cuddles, or forehead kisses meant in the grand scheme of things – but no one was ignorant to the chemistry between the four of you. The boys were so unbelievably sweet with you, and their attention felt like nothing short of worship.

James’ excessive excitement when you walked into a room left you feeling like you meant something; an overwhelming sense of belonging within his space. Sirius’ devilish flirting, compliments, and obvious ogling made you feel more beautiful than you ever thought possible. And Remus’ small gestures – whether carrying your books for you, ensuring you’ve eaten and drank enough water, and his special nicknames he seemed to save just for you - left you melted into a puddle of fondness. 

And that wasn’t always taken very well by others.

Namely, Emmeline Vance. 

The boys had been known to be quite…open…in their sexual encounters in the past and have, on occasion, included a fourth party in their dorm room activities. This quickly stopped when some parties felt this meant they were included in their dynamic.

Emmeline was one of them, and it appeared she wasn’t taking the news of them seemingly working to include an official fourth to their relationship very well. 

This is one of the reasons you hadn’t brought up exactly what you meant to them; you were not interested in simply being the boys’ next bedmate, and a part of you was afraid that bringing things up would expose the fact that this was indeed their hope.

The other part of you knew that the boys weren’t the kind to string someone along, and that they’d have to be playing an awfully long game if that was truly their angle. But the possibility squeezed at your heart nonetheless.

Emmeline had taken to making snooty comments to you when the boys weren’t around. Lily, Marlene, Peter, and Dorcas seemed particularly bothered by it, but you did your best to ignore her.

But there was a part of you that wanted to scream at her a little bit…you weren’t even technically in a relationship with them! You’d never slept with them, you’d never even properly kissed any of them, and you certainly hadn’t made any moves to make whatever this was ‘official’. 

Another part of you didn’t even want to entertain the situation. You had far more important things to concern yourself with: You were studying for your NEWTS, considering whether you wanted to head right into the workforce or explore further education, and where the hell you were going to live after graduation. 

Unfortunately, Emmeline wasn’t the only one to pick up on your new-found closeness with the Marauders.

“Well, well, well…look what the lions dragged in.” Mulciber sneered from behind you as you made your way up the path from Hogsmeade. You rolled your eyes and kept your head forward; you’d been given permission from the headmaster to run to the village to purchase more potions ingredients, but apparently, so had the Slytherins.

“What? Good enough for those Gryffindor’s but not us? Where’re you running too?” Avery continued with a malicious grin when you picked up your pace. 

Thankfully, you could see the Hogwarts grounds were up ahead, and Lily was there at the gates waiting for you.

“Sod off.” You threw over your shoulder, feeling slightly bolder in the presence of your friend. 

You smiled warmly at the redhead as she threw her arm over your shoulder, sparing the Slytherin gits behind you a withering glare as you carried on towards the castle.

“What’s their problem now, hm?” She asked you, still glaring at the boys.

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, who knows. Not happy with anyone associated with the Marauders.” 

Lily snorted inelegantly. “I don’t even think they’ve bothered pranking the Slytherin’s lately.”

“Nope.” You agreed with a pop of the P. “Everyone’s got bigger problems right now.”

Lily laughed but it turned into a groan. “Yeah, speaking of: incoming.”

You followed her gaze to see Emmeline making her way towards the two of you.

“Hello Lily!” She said cheerily before her face turned stony as the considered you, “Y/N.”

You tried to refrain (somewhat unsuccessfully) from rolling your eyes as you said hello to the girl.

“Have you seen the boys around?” She asked feigning innocence, but you both knew exactly who she was on about.

Lily played dumb, though you knew that she knew very well who Emmeline was looking for. “Which boys, Vance? That covers just about half of the population at Hogwarts.” She asked coolly. 

“Remmy, Siri, and Jamie. Obviously. I’m going to ask them to Hogsmeade this weekend.” She shared with a sense of finality. You did roll your eyes at this, and Lily scoffed.

“Well, my first place to look for them would be with Y/N, and seeing as they’re not here, I couldn’t tell you.” Lily spat.

Emmeline narrowed her eyes and looked between the two of you before she levelled a glare at you.

“This isn’t over. I’ll win them back.” She said plainly, and something about her tone caused you to snap.

The Slytherin’s, Emmeline, the stress of not knowing – it was all too much, and you were done.

“You know what, Emmeline?” You said in a calm tone as you looked to the sky. “You can have them.”

Lily whipped her head to look at you bewilderedly at the same time Emmeline cocked her head at you.

“I beg your pardon?” She asked as you returned your eyes to her.

“If you think you can ‘win’ them, you can have them. I don’t want something that can so easily be taken from me, anyway. But you’re competing in a game that I’m not even playing, so either take them or leave me alone because I’ve got bigger fucking problems than your stupid school-girl crush.” You were out of breath by the time you finished; your face was hot, and you were sure it was likely the colour of Lily’s hair, but you willed yourself not to cry as you stormed toward the castle.

Damn being an angry crier.

You were just so tired – this wasn’t a game to you; these were your friends, perhaps more (you certainly hoped more), and it was also your feelings. But what you said was true – nothing that can be taken from you is worth keeping, not even them. 

Lily quickly caught up to you but knew better than to say anything now, giving you the chance to breathe and calm down. You both made your way to Gryffindor tower where you threw yourself haphazardly into one of the plush couches near the fireplace. 

“Fuck.” You groaned as you rubbed your hand down your face.

“You okay, hun?” Lily asked as she pet your head commiseratively. 

You groaned again as you let your hand fall from your head and hang dramatically off the side of the couch. “Yeah, just tired. Of everything.”

Lily hummed in sympathy. “Why don’t you relax up here? I can bring you something from the Great Hall for supper.”

You looked at your friend like she hung the moon. “You’d do that for me?”

She chuckled and pinched your cheek, “‘Course. Anything for you, gorgeous.” She winked, trying on her best Sirius Black voice to mimic what the boy has said to you many-a-times before. 

They really did treasure you, didn’t they?

You sort of regretted your outburst now – you knew the boys weren’t a prize in some juvenile contest; that’s what you’d been trying to point out – but you worried that’s not the way it sounded. What would they do once they heard? And you knew they would – hear about it, that is. Would their feelings be hurt? Would they understand? Would they feel embarrassed to be spoken about in such a manner?

You didn’t have much time to think about it after Lily left, because before you knew it, said boys were crawling through the portrait hole. 

“Angel!” James shouted at you as he found your form curled up against the arm of the couch. He made for you instantly, vaulting himself over the back of the couch sat opposite of you like some kind of living room gymnast and launching himself onto your couch, nearly right on top of you. 

“Hi Jamie.” You said shyly as his arms wrapped around your middle and he dug his face into the crook of your neck.

“Missed you.” He said, though the sound was muffled from the new home he seemed to have made in your being.

“Lily said we’d find ya here.” Sirius said as he sat on the coffee table in front of you. You grimaced in response.

“How was your trip to Hogsmeade?” Remus redirected at your obvious discomfort, taking a place beside Sirius.

“Oh, it was alright. I found what I needed.” You answered quietly, playing with the nailbeds of your fingers. Sirius quickly gave you one of his hands to play with instead. 

“We heard you gave Vance a verbal lashing.” He said as you fiddled with one of the many rings adorning his long fingers. You groaned and let your head fall back onto the couch. 

“Sirius.” Remus quietly (though lovingly) chided. “Do you wanna talk about it, dove?” 

And there he goes with the nicknames, and James’ cuddling and Sirius’ piercing gaze and what the hell were you even doing here? 

“No.” You answered. “I don’t know.” You amended quickly. 

“I hope she didn’t upset you too terribly.” James offered quietly as he moved his chin to rest on your shoulder so he could look at you. You were suddenly self-conscious of how the side of your head looked.

“No. I may have been a little out of line.” You acquiesced. Sirius scoffed dramatically.

“Please, you’ve never been unreasonable a day in your life. You should try it once in a while.”

You chuckled at the dark-haired boy. “If anyone can drive me to it, it’ll be you boys.” You tried to joke, but it came out somberly. 

“I’m sorry if being with us makes things a little tricky for you, with other students.” Remus apologized. 

You snorted. “I’m not sure why being friends with you guys should be such an issue for other people.”

“Friends?” James asked as he sat up a little straighter. You cocked your eyebrow as you turned to look at him.

“Well, I don’t know…We’ve never really discussed anything, I didn’t want to assume…” You trailed off as you started picking at your nailbeds again. This time, Sirius moved to his knees in front of you and took both of your hands in each of his.

“Assume. Assume it all; all of it, everything. We’re yours.” He said emphatically, punctuating each sentiment with a squeeze of your joined hands.

“If you’ll have us…” Remus corrected, and you felt something swell behind your eyes at the faint blush that appeared on his cheeks. 

James seemed just as moved by Remus’ bashfulness as he leaned forward to caress the boy’s cheek. “We know we’d love to have you.” James finished for him.

You sniffled and offered them a tight smile. “I’d like that.”

Sirius deflated instantly and let out a relieved sigh. “Oh, thank gods. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you said no.”

“Die, probably.” James said seriously, surprising a laugh out of you.

“We never wanted you to feel insecure in your place with us, dovey. We’re sorry we didn’t make it clearer how much you mean to us.” Remus continued.

“It’s not that. You make me feel very…” but you trailed off timidly.

“Very…” Sirius continued with a devilish grin. You tried to hide behind your hands but he held-fast. “Don’t get shy on us now, gorgeous. How do we make you feel?”

“Cherished.” You whispered, and you watched as the mirth left his face, leaving behind only fondness.

“Oh, thank merlin.” James breathed. “I thought I’d have to up my flirting; and I don’t know if you guys know this, but I already live at 100% love always.”

“We know.” You, Sirius, and Remus answered in unison. 

“Okay, Jamie. Scoot.” Sirius said as he stood. He hardly waited for James to make room before he’d picked you up and flipped you two, so he was now sitting in your spot, and you were in his lap. “My turn.” He muttered as he put his face in the crook of your neck like James had before. James didn’t seem to mind the intrusion much; his arm thrown across Sirius’ shoulders and fingers rubbing at the baby hairs on your neck.

“Y/N?” Remus asked, and your toes curled in anxiety at how serious he looked.

“Yes?”

“May I kiss you?” He asked, keeping his honey gaze locked on yours.

You felt a grin overtake your face as you nodded emphatically. His smile matched yours as he leaned forward resting his hand on your knee and pressed his lips gently to yours. You felt so incredibly complete – Sirius’ arms wrapped securely around you, James gently massaging your neck and shoulders, and Remus’ lips on yours.

Both you and Remus seemed reluctant to separate, but you did. He pressed one last kiss to your lips before he leaned back into his seat on the coffee table.

“Does this mean we get to do that all of the time now?!” James asked excitedly, causing the three of you to chuckle. You didn’t much mind the sound of that.

“There was no competition.” Sirius said quietly from his place in your neck. You turned your head which forced him from your neck as you looked at him inquisitively.

“There was never any competition. Between you and Emmeline.” He clarified, silver irises seeming to bore into your soul. “Between you and anyone.” 

You felt heat rush to your cheeks and ducked your head.

“And even if there was,” James continued, “you’d have won by a landslide.” 

Read the companion piece: The Loser Has To Fall

[in3rci4]

Can I get an Angst with all the boys, having a crush on gn reader who is new in town and heterochromia? ( If you can of course💕)

It's the first time I do a request fr 😭

It's ok , it's normal to be nervous when requesting if you're new or not used to it , hopefully I'll do my best with this one , enjoy it anon , thank you for sending your request 💕 !

°°°IT'S THE EYES . IT WAS ALL IN THEIR EYES °°°

Author's note : I been slow with publishing stuff because personal life is becoming more a survival than living , so sorry if it takes some requests too long to get done , but I'm slowly , yet surely , getting the ones I have done one step at the time .

Characters included in the following headcanons : Robin Arellano , Griffin Stagg , Vance Hopper , Finney Blake , Bruce Yamada , Billy Showalter

WARNINGS ! : CHARACTER X READER CONTENT , IGNORANCE / DISBELIEF ABOUT THE SYNDROME , BULLYING , THIS MIGHT BE SHORTER THAN EXPECTED , SOME MIGHT BE SHORTER THAN OTHERS , THERE'S PROBABLY SPELLING MISTAKES , GENDER NEUTRAL READER , CRINGE ¿? PROBABLY CRINGE , 2 SIDES , ONE WITH FLUFF , ONE WITH ANGST ( AND IT MIGHT NOT BE SO X READER TYPE OR BE A SENSITIVE TOPIC TO READ , ALSO THE CHARACTERS ARE MEAN ON THE ANGST ) TOXICITY ¿? DISCRIMINATION , MANIPULATION ¿? , ETC

ROBIN ARELLANO

≈ This guy is in love with your eyes , they're so unique , so badass , so special of yours , you're like a cool character of a movie or like a kickass villain

≈ Robin is a boy who loves everything that it's out of the normality , the more different , the more harder to forget , the better .

≈ If you felt insecure for your eye colors before then you'll be no more with him by your side ! He will compliment you without shame in front of others and he won't stop until you're all flustered and blushing

≈ But all jokes aside , once he get to know you and learned more about you , Robin will always remember you to not feel bad about your looks , it's not like you can control it , and it's nothing bad that you need to hide either

≈ if you want to buy contact lenses to match both eyes he won't stop you , but he'll be sad for not being able to see the real look in your eyes anymore

≈ He sometimes jokes about being jealous of your eyes , you get to have 2 colors and he only got 1 , that's not fair ! He wants to look just as cool as you

≈ You will always have his protection and support , no one will make fun of you , no one , and the one who dares to will feel a physical payment for playing stupid games in their faces

≈ Don't ever feel bad about yourself , because you'll have an annoying and romantic Robin making sure to bust your ego over the sky and taking photos whenever he can

≈ But that isn't so bad , isn't ?

GRIFFIN STAGG

° He's so sorry for being the ones who believed in the rumours it was contagious in the past , for being ignorant and avoiding you like the rest of the students

° Growing up he realized it was something stupid to think on , if it was contagious , then why nobody has changed eye colors yet ?

° Maybe you don't , but Griffin does remember well the day you two started to be friends

° The day you decided not to do anything in P.E class because you felt physically bad , and he , since nobody wanted him on their team , didn't lose anything by also not doing exercise either . You sat next to him , and started a casual conversation that turned out to be a funny exchange

° Casual conversations started to be more interested on each other's likes , conversations in each other's likes lead to gossip sessions , gossip became deep talks about the future and other corny shit that Griffin didn't thought he'll talk with someone ever

° He compares your eyes a lot with things , now that he learned to appreciate them , he can't stop remember you everytime a combination of color is the same as the look in your eyes

° You can say that your charm is contagious , and he's more than happy to be infected by love for you

VANCE HOPPER

♠ While others kids thought you were weird or cool , Vance thought you were a pretender

♠ Can you blame him though ? He hasn't seen somebody like you in his entire life , it's impossible for someone to have their eyes like that ! You must be using contact lenses or some shit !

♠ The evening he realized you weren't faking , he melted like ice cream in summer right there in front of you ( But you didn't noticed it )

♠ He stormed furious out of the mall when in a bad day he couldn't even get to the half of his high score , and accidently bumped into you . He looked into your eyes mad as hell , not expecting at all to see your pupils getting bigger , frozen about how fucked up it was to know that you truly had such a unique pair of eyes

♠ After an awkward time he slowly started to greet you " indifferently " , drawing you on his special notebook when the teachers didn't bothered him , and sometimes inviting you to watch him play Pin Ball when he felt cocky enough

♠ Hope you don't mind intense staring , because Vance is all about looking straight into your soul , he can't help it , or well , maybe he can because he can be a little of a tsundere

♠ To be honest he'll stare at your eyes all day if he could , but he's too of a dork to admit it , or decide if he likes it when you look at him or not due how flustered you make him feel

♠ And yeah , he will start a fight for you if someone dares to mock you , it's obvious , but it's a nice thing to think about

FINNEY BLAKE

∞ Finney is more curious than avoidant , he feels guilty for looking at you so much , you may had felt the hairy eyeball before and don't like it but , you're so .... Interesting ? Beautiful ? It's hard to describe

∞ Even for A or B you'll meet and trust my word , he's going to be respectful all the time he's with you . Only if you gave him permission to , he'll ask you more about your condition and how it exactly effects you , but don't worry , once he get all his doubts solved , he will move on and ask you about yourself

∞ He understands it yet he does not understand how someone could hate you by the color of your eyes , he doesn't even get racism and now we have people insult you by the color of your eyes ? By something you didn't choose to have ? Like what ?

∞ You're special ( and attractive he may add ) from the rest and that's gonna get more staring than someone else will have , sure , but he'll be angrily confused if someone bothered you in front of him , now we're bullying people for their genetics ? Come on man

∞ Finney would try to get you out of a uncomfortable situation , but if it persists , he might be verbally violent or push the person to tell them to back off and leave you alone

∞ Bonus : Gwen does the same with you , although she loves to tease Finney in your presence , she likes you though , she just does the " sibling annoying the other " things

∞ He has a special love letter that he never gave you were he used astronomy elements to describe you and the look in your eyes , but he was to embarrassed or afraid of rejection that he kept it for himself

∞ You read it , but you never told Finney and kept the secret

BRUCE YAMADA

★ Ignorance isn't a sin some people say , but he pity you when he first saw you and until this day he can't believe how dumb he was

★ Bruce mind was like " Aw poor kid they probably have problems with their vision " as if he knew what exactly condition you have

★ He felt like a dumbass the day you tapped his shoulder to tell him from really far away that someone was trying to steal his bike after one of his games

★ To thank you for the gesture ( ahem , and clear his mind from the guilt ) he invited you to watch a movie in the cinema ( Jaws 2 being his option and yours Star Wars 4 , you both watched the two of the movies because in one you sneak in between the crowd anyway )

★ after that movie night everything went smooth , until the point that neither of you acknowledge the fact that you still didn't confessed yet and were already lovey dovey with each other

★ He has the privilege to say he has a partner that has no comparation , there's no other you , and Bruce loves that

★ Bruce loves you and those special eyes that life has gave you

BILLY SHOWALTER

🔺 Billy knew animals could had two different colors in their eyes , but he didn't thought it was possible for a human too

🔺 It was a shame how nobody saw that special shine in you , or maybe they did , but they decided it was too bright for them and tried to turn you down

🔺 But you never let them took advantage of you , and he was proud that you know your worth and didn't let the negativity get you

🔺 He didn't stuttered or thought twice when you asked him on a date , you were his crush , of course he's gonna say yes !

🔺 Billy is not only an admirer of you and your lovely eyes , but a flatterer as well

🔺 At first , the compliments were accidents that escaped from his mouth before he noticed he was talking in loud voice , but with time , he became more and more confident to tell you how gorgeous you look , how you make him feel , his plans for the future , etc

🔺 If Billy has the chance to , he's gonna spoil the hell out of you , just to give you a material proof how much he loves you , so he can see that singular look in your eyes everytime you're happy , forever .

ANGST PART

They would love you of course , they can't control their hearts to stop beating for you every time you look at them or smile , but love sometimes ain't all rainbows and butterflies .

Now why or why you were born like this ? Why you couldn't just be normal ? Everything could be so perfect , so beautiful , if you didn't look different and just be like other people .

In a bad dream type of reality , they will cross the limits so they don't feel " ashamed " to be seen with you

BRUCE AND BILLY would suggest the idea of buying contact lenses to match your eyes with only one color , Billy being the one telling you that it's necessary that you should had them , BRUCE being the one who bought them without asking you first as a " gift " , thinking it was the best idea , after all , the two of you would look much better as a couple in people's eyes if you did

ROBIN AND FINNEY would keep you as their secret , no one has to know their feelings for you or your relationship if you ever had one , FINNEY afraid of having another reason to be bullied because of you or having his father mock his selection of partner , ROBIN because he's ashamed of liking someone that doesn't look " right " and is "pointed by God "

VANCE AND GRIFFIN would backstabbed you when you started to get used to the idea of having someone by your side , VANCE would mock you and insult you in front of his friends or people if that made him look better , GRIFFIN would act as if he doesn't know you when you needed him the most , without a feeling completely guilty for it , perhaps not even a little if that makes you and people's starting at him when he's by your side go away

It's just the way things are . It's how your eyes are .

[thewritersofdeceased]

Ghost boys reacting to their crush being asked out in front of them? Like would they be salty or lash out. Idk I just think it's a fun idea ^^

ANGST WOOOOO !! (angst for at least two of them) The Ghost Boys + Finney seeing their crush being asked out in front of them! These are sorta short because I had no motivation to get these out for months ":)

Gender Neutral pronouns ! (They/Them), no use of y/n!

FINNEY BLAKE

Finney felt his heart shatter as a boy stood with flowers in hand, a small frown plastered on his face as you and this boy stood in front of your locker. You two were smiling. You were smiling at this boy and not at him? He thought you two would have been together. Guess not. Finney didn't say anything, just acted like he was grabbing stuff out of his locker. But those eight words he overheard felt like a harpoon had just gone through his chest.

"Do you want to go out with me?" The boy asked, and Finney could hear your soft laughter. That soft laughter that made him fall in love with you. The laughter that made him always smile. But he couldn't say anything now. Not when the person of his dreams was being asked out. He let a frown form on his face, closing his locker and letting out a grumble. A grumble of inaudible mutters. He'd talk to Robin or Gwen about this.

And so when closing his locker and overhearing the answer you'd given the boy, Finney turned to walk off. Ignoring the laughs he could overhear, he began making his way away from his locker and surely away from you. He couldn't stand this. The boy had to move on, but he knew damn well it would take a while to do that.

BRUCE YAMADA

To say Bruce was surprised when he overheard someone asking you out was an understatement. He knew plenty of people, girls mostly, were lined up trying to date him, but for the longest time, he only had his eyes on one person. You. You were the only person Bruce had his eyes on. He wasn't going to go all fancy, buying flowers and everything, but he was going to be all casual about it. As you if you'd like to go to the arcade or something, go for a walk around town and all of that.

But when he went to try, someone else had gone up to you, holding flowers and chocolate in their hands. Bruce didn't understand. Sure, this kid was popular too, but not in the sense Bruce was. He just didn't understand. His mind processed the scene he watched, his expression blank and eyes slightly narrowing. At least he tried.

Even if his heart ached. His chest ached. He had to move on. No matter how hard it hurt, Bruce Yamada had to move on. As people say. There's other fish in the seas. At least in ones far away from Denver.

ROBIN ARELLANO

Robin knew he didn't have a chance. From the get go, he knew he didnt' have a chance. He was popular, and sure, some girls wanted him and what-not, but he denied them every single time. They only wanted him because he could fight. Not for his personality, and surely just for his looks. But he didn't have his eyes on any of them.

Not any of them had his attention. He was watching over you as you spoke with a group of your friends, one of them gently taking your arm and pulling you away from everyone in the main circle. Which only resulted in him following from afar. Listening and watching from a distance. He couldn't exactly make out what was being said, but he could see the large smile that had formed on your face, and the excited "Yes, yes!" That escaped you.

It only made Robin's mind begin to run. Robin wasn't dumb. It only made him realize what the kid had asked. The kid asked you out. And Robin had to get over you. Of course he did. He just had to get over you. It'd be difficult, but he had to. He'd move on quickly. He knew he could.

VANCE HOPPER

When it came to asking people out, Vance hated doing it. Vance despises asking people out, which is why he never did it. He saw what relationships did to his mom and dad. He saw how it ruined them. But you were different. You had a smile that lit up the world, and he loved that about you. But asking you out was something that would ruin everything. Vance was going to ask you out in a casual manner. Sure, he'd buy you a slushee from the grab n' go and make a flirty joke or whatever, but it was better than going full out with flowers, chocolate and a stupid date.

As he went to speak to you, his eyes landed on a boy with his arm wrapped around your waist, so he only stood with violence plastered in his eyes. He wanted to swing. So badly. He wanted to start a fight. To get your attention. But that would hate to scare you. He would never have a chance if he scared you off and away. That would shatter him beyond recognition. But Vance stood tall as he kept his attention on you and this boy.

As the answer of yes popped up, Vance scoffed and turned on his heel, his knuckles turning white. He'd go get into a fight. Fight his anger out like he usually could. He'd avoid you and your new boyfriend. Until you two broke up, or the bastard did something wrong to you. Then he'd fight and confront.

BILLY SHOWALTER

Billy was beyond excited to show you these hand made paper flowers! He was going to use them to confess his feelings, of course. He wasn't one to really talk aloud, being more on the quiet side of the school and sticking to hanging around his group of friends. Not many people spoke to the tiny group but you and a couple others that wanted to try and befriend Robin or Bruce for example. Or Vance- that was another. Vance was more of one to confront or help Billy out if he was having a bad day.

So when he saw a boy smiling brightly at you with flowers in his hand, his heart began to shatter as he listened in. "Would you like to go on a date? We can have a picnic and then get some ice cream?" The boy suggested as an excited "Yes!" escaped you, it made Billy's eyes widen and begin to tear up. He stared in disbelief, his heart shattered into a thousand people.

He stared still, dropping his paper flowers onto the ground and allowing the wind to pick them up. He'd just stay away. Yeah! Yeah, that would work. It'd was better than anything. Better than staying here and letting his emotions get the better of him. That would be better than this. He'd talk to Vance. Or Griffin. Or anyone about this.

GRIFFIN STAGG

Griffin was terrified to ever ask somebody out. Like Vance, he saw what it did to his parents. Hell, he didn’t get to see his mother because of it. That was a whole story in itself. He was pacing nervously, looking at the paper he held in between his hands. Well, in one hand. He had a singular rose in his right hand, in his left behind a small paper with words to say.

Naturally, Griffin was selective mute, only speaking properly to the boys he hung around or you. Mostly you. He would smile, ramble about books he read to you, suggest some too! So, the best suggestion he had was to get a couple romantic lines from books and make references to them in his little confession note!

His eyes had lit up when he saw you. You were waving to someone. Not him. A boy, maybe a year older than him had run over, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek as Griffin watched. He stared as tears began to flood his eyes. He had to walk by you to go home. So he did just that. Not before pressing the paper and flower into your hand.

[marksbear]

Could I request a Vance Hopper x Male reader (boyfriends)? Plays a few months after Vance got kidnapped. The reader gets kidnapped too (and gives the grabber a really hard time because he doesn’t back down) and Vance ghost uses the chance to properly say goodbye to his boyfriend and helps him to get out of there. A lot of angst and heartbreak (the readers usually a tough guy too and doesn’t show much emotion but completely breaks down in the basement after Vance called him the first time) the grabber could show him the spot where he killed Vance to mock him idk make it hurt 💔💔💔I hope you have a great day and thank you!! <3

Sorry this took a while I took a lil break! But I really hope you enjoy this and that I wrote everything you asked for!

And I write this in a way so you won’t get much spoilers.

Warning:Angst! Mentions a toxic home, evil stepdad, kidnapping,trauma, grieving, sad and emotionless reader, blood, stabbing, survivor guilt.

GHOST VANCE HOPPER X MALE READER.

Y/n was inside his room laying on the floor as the TV played. Y/n's eyes bore into the screen not noticing a muffled shout from downstairs. The TV screen played Y/n favorite show ever.

Sadly it was hard for Y/n to even pay attention to the show. Y/n kept glancing around his room looking at the pictures hanging around of his boyfriend.

Every time Y/n caught himself looking at the pictures he’ll whip his head around as his mind runs wild about his boyfriends disappearance.

“Vance… We we’re supposed to runaway with each other. Get out of this stupid town together.”

Y/n thought to himself knowing deep down inside that Vance would never leave him on purpose. Y/n knew it was a deeper meaning as to why his boyfriend disappeared. But sadly it’s been months and most people stopped caring for the missing teen. It wasn’t like many people was searching for Vance anyway.

The door swings open hitting the wall on impact.

“Y/n! Your mom has been calling your name for the past three minutes! Go down there before she starts getting on my ass!” Y/n’s step dad says staring at Y/n.

“There’s something wrong kid? All the sudden you can’t hear?” His step dad says with a mug on his face.

Y/n rolls his eyes and stands up from the floor walking up to his TV turning it off. “And good lord take your boyfriends pictures off the wall son he left you.” Once those words came out of his mouth Y/n shoved his stepdad out of his room before slamming the door shut.

“You brat!”

His stepfather calls out slamming his hand on the door before walking away.

After making sure his stepdad was completely away Y/n opens his door walking downstairs to see what his mother needs.

When Y/n made it to the bottom of the staircase his mom was already waiting for him.

“Glad to see your dad listens to me.”

“He’s not my dad… And I’m sorry for not hearing you earlier.” Y/n responds back crossing his arms as his mom rolls her eyes.

“I need you to go to the store. Get some groceries and then get you and your sister some snacks to eat. And after that go to the corner store and get me and your dad some cigarettes.” She says before grabbing Y/n’s arm using the pin in her other hand writing the list of groceries on him.

After she was done she gave Y/n the money and extra just in case.

Y/n grumbles complaints under his breath as he takes the money and go back up stairs to change.

After changing Y/n goes back downstairs and walk to the front door about to leave.

“And please Y/n, come straight home. No looking for Vance or clues for his disappearance. I know you miss him honey we both do. It’s just that he’s gone now Y/n. He ran away…” She says before giving Y/n a sympathetic look.

Y/n listens to her words before leaving shutting the door behind him.

Digging inside his pockets Y/n gets the Walkman out and puts on the headphones before putting it back inside his pockets.

TIMESKIP

Y/n was finally halfway to the store walking on the sidewalk as he blasted music through his headphones. Y/n eyes were glued to the floor as he walked not bothering to look up.

Suddenly tapped into Y/n's foot.

Stopping in his tracks Y/n looked to see what touched him. It was a can and a few other things behind it. Y/n looked up seeing a man in white face paint on the sidewalk trying to but clumsily picking up his things.

Usually Y/n would have just avoided helping. Like going to a different direction or just out right to ignore them completely. But this time Y/n couldn't just fake his way out of this.

Y/n crouched down picking up the items that were scattered around the sidewalk. The stranger puts the fallen nearby items inside his bag before walking up to the teen.

Y/n hands him the items while imagining how Vance would have picked light fun at him for helping calling him "soft."

"T-thank you so much! Please let me pay you back for your kindness." The stranger says grabbing the teen's arm forcefully trying to pull him to the van.

"Hey man get the hell off of me!" Y/n shouts as he yanks his arm back. The man lunges for Y/n wrapping his arms around him. Y/n tries to fight back by kicking and stomping on the man's foot and also by scratching his arms.

The man swung the teen around in his arms yanking him to the van.

Y/n swung his head straight back hitting the man with the back of his head causing his nose to bleed.

"You brat!" The man shouts as he uses one of his free hand to pry open Y/n's mouth before using his other one to spray something inside his mouth.

Y/n continues to fight and sway around until his own body gives up on him slowly becoming unconscious the man swings open the van door angrily tossing Y/n inside of it before slamming it shut.

TIMESKIP

Opening his eyes slowly Y/n raised his head from the dirty mattress he laid on. As he looked around the more his brain processed what just happened before he got unconscious.

The walls were dirty and rusty and so was the floor. The only thing that kept Y/n company was a black phone besides the mattress on the wall. Y/n sat all the way up leaning his back against the wall.

The only door insight began to unlock and twist open.

Y/n quickly stood up and clenched his fist. Sure Y/n didn't fight much, but all the times he did he won and thankfully his boyfriend was a fighter so he knew a thing or two about beating the hell out of someone.

With the door opening Y/n got into a fighting stance just as his boyfriend taught him.

A man stepped into the empty basement staring at Y/n menacingly.

"Step any closer to me i'll kick your ass." Y/n says not even trying to threatening him. The teen told the man as if he was stating a fact. The man only laughs and step a few feet closer.

"Kick my ass? How cute." The grabber teases.

"Trust me I've been doing this for a long~ time. You won't be the first kid I snatched who fought back." The grabber says before adding."hmm... You know you sounded just like a boy who I kidnapped a few months ago. That's right Vance Hopper."

Y/n's fist clenched tighter as his whole body went into a state of shock and pause. "Y-you what." Y/n says with his voice cracking slightly.

"Vance~ I remember the day I kidnapped him. When I was driving around in my van I saw you two hug and kiss outside of your house. Y'all two looked so inlove as you wished each other bye. Even after he left after walking you open he still had a dopey smile on his face." The grabber says as he smirked behind his mask.

When he thought he would get an outburst from the teen Y/n stayed silent and on guard not even flinching.

The grabber lets out a frustrated noise before turning away leaving slamming the door shut.

With the new information Y/n lets go of the breath he was holding as he laid back down on the mattress thinking. As he thought his eyes wondered around looking before landing on the telephone.

Getting up Y/n walked over to the telephone picking up the phone and dialing 9-1-1. Much to Y/n's guess it didn't work and Y/n put the phone back into its place before sitting back down on his mattress.

TIMESKIP

For the past few days it has been weird and scary for Y/n. For numerous times him and the grabber fought and argued. Y/n refused to eat and drink and even one point threw the tray of food at the grabber once he came to collect it.

And even one time Y/n had gained advantage on the grabber taking him to the floor, but sadly he sprayed the same thing that caused Y/n to be unconscious the first time in his mouth.

The teen even met the ghost of the Grabbers old victims. They taught and helped Y/n against the grabber. Giving the teen tips and how to avoid the same fate they met.

The grabber haven't checked on the kid all day, so Y/n was just in the basement looking at the open scars from the previous fight he and the grabber had.

*riiing* *riiiing*

Y/n head whipped around looking at the black phone that was shaking. The teen quickly got up and walked to the phone. Picking up the phone Y/n glanced to the door making sure the grabber wasn't there.

"Hello?" Y/n says into the phone.

It was silence for a while until...

"Y/n you still sound like a fucking dork."

That's what caused Y/n to freeze. From everything that Y/n went through for the past few days this is what shocked him the most. The voice that he loved and cried for months.

"V-Vance! Is that you?!" Y/n's own voice began to betray him as tears threatened to fall.

"Yes babe it's me!" Vance's voice rings out through the phone causing Y/n start to break down.

"Vance! I'm sorry! I'm sorry that I wasn't there. For months I used to believe that you ran away without me. I-I'm so sorry Vans." Y/n sobs out as he spilled out the nickname he used to call him.

"Babe, don't start crying. I don't like hearing you cry." Vance says as his own voice began to crack.

"I miss you so much...I-I *sniff* " Y/n couldn't even finish his own sentence as he cried leaning his body against the wall.

"I know... I miss you everyday. And I guess it's my fault that we couldn't run away with each other as we planned---"

"Don't say that. It's neither of our faults okay!" Y/n cuts him off as he tried to wipe away his tears.

The phone grows quiet.

Finally breaking the painful silence.

"Promise me Y/n that you'll kick this guy's ass. Do it for the other dumb asses here... Do it for me." Vance says softly.

"I promise. You have my word babe." Y/n voices crack out knowing that he'll have to hang up soon.

"You better god damn it! I'll be there with you okay!?!..."

The two grow silent once again.

“Don’t go…” Y/n breathes out to the phone clenching onto it tightly.

“I have to.”

“Don’t please…even if I— I survive I won’t be able to live without you Vance! You told me that we were soulmates!” Y/n begins to sob again.

“Goodbye Y/n…”

With those last few words the phone rings silently.

With tears blocking his vision he drops the phone letting it hang. Y/n began to cry and shout screaming and cry out for his boyfriend.

“So you do cry?”

Y/n’s head whips around looking at the man that stood by the door.

“After everything this what makes you break? You miss your pathetic boyfriend? Well your in luck because I feel a bit generous today.” The grabber teases before walking towards Y/n.

Once he was close enough Y/n tries to push him away, but the grabber was fast taking a fistful of Y/n’s hair yanking him to him.

The grabber pulls Y/n to the bathroom area.

“This is we’re he died.” The grabber says yanking Y/n’s head to the wall forcing him to look at the pool of dried blood on the walls.

“I took his head just how I am with yours and banged his head against the wall until he was bloody and limp.” The grabber says whispering into Y/n’s ear.

With the picture painted in his mind Y/n eyes started to water as the grabber went on and on about how he killed him.

TIMESKIP

Since his last call Y/n and the ghost began to communicate more and more.

Their calls became more helpful and strategic preparing for what’s about to come or really the day he’s supposed to be killed. Y/n had been staring at the door for the longest.

Y/n looked to the side of the room seeing all the ghost standing by the wall. Who really stuck out to Y/n was his boyfriend looking at him with so much guilt and confidence.

Vance’s eyes softened once him and Y/n met eyes. Y/n gave Vance a small smile before turning back around looking at the door again.

With the door slowly opening Y/n stands up from the bed.

Bracing himself Y/n gets ready to fight with everything he got. With the door opening Y/n’s eyes glare.

First a dog steps inside the room with a steel chain wrapped around his neck. The grabber walks inside behind the dog with a smirk.

“You really are just like your boyfriend. Never backing down from a fight.” The grabber taunts as the dog bark and growl.

“Keep his name out of your fucking mouth.” Y/n says with a straight face showing no emotion.

The grabber ties the chain around a pipe as he takes a knife from his back pocket.

“Too much of a little girl to fight me with your fist.” Y/n says as he’s the one who’s taunting now.

Out of nowhere the grabber strikes pouncing in front of Y/n before swaying the knife to Y/n’s arm. Y/n dodges just in time right before the grabber tries to stab him again.

As the grabber misses a swing Y/n winds up his own arm before giving him a quick hook to the cheek.

The grabber reacts fast using the closeness to his advantage giving Y/n a quick slice to the arm.

As the two fought the ghost watch in different parts of the room. Watching intensely.

Soon enough The grabber begins to play dirty by tackling Y/n onto the hard cold dirty floor. Raising the knife above his head The grabber swings his arm down directly at Y/n’s face.

With luck Y/n swiftly moves his head out of the way making the knife dig into the floor. As the Grabber tries to pull it back Y/n punches the man straight in the stomach causing the Grabber to hunch over and gasp.

Y/n pushes the grabber off of him before quickly climbing on top.

Similar to how Vance got arrested Y/n started to punch the living shit out of the grabber. The grabbers face quickly became bloody.

Once the man under the teen became weak Y/n stood up walking to the knife that was stabbed into the floor he pulled it out before walking back to him.

“You killed those innocent boys… More importantly you killed my boyfriend.” Y/n says as he crawled onto him.

Sitting in his stomach Y/n wrapped both hands around the knife handle bringing the knife above his head he angled the knife above his heart.

Without any more words Y/n plunged the knife deep inside the man’s chest. Y/n drive the knife deep before pulling it out and back inside stabbing him repeatedly.

“You killed my boyfriend you fucking asshole!” Y/n shouted as he stabbed him again and again.

Finally calming down Y/n dropped the knife before getting up and looked around.

With all the ghost staring at him Y/n knew what they wanted to do. Y/n ran up the stares leaving the basement before running to the front door that was surprisingly unlocked.

The only thing Y/n could do now was shut and find someone.

Sprinting out of the yard Y/n ran with all his might. What Y/n didn’t notice that his boyfriend was in the middle of the street watching him run away watching Y/n with a proud expression.

“Good job babe…”

THE END

[bbyvrtx]

Vance Hopper with a reader who has anger issues/Angry Crier (Totally not calling myself out) Warnings: Vance (He is a warning.. might be a red flag too-) Cursing (Lots of it) Blood/bruising, Reader's gender not specified, reader also has family issues, THERE IS NO GRABBER, readers parents not being home much, (Reader and Vance and anyone else mentioned from TBP are 17-18) Tell me if I missed any. Reader and Vance are stated to be close friends. ANGST. LOTS OF ANGST

Maybe friends to Enemies(?? You decide)

Some Information before reading: Vance and reader have a toxic relationship.

Today was any other normal day; if you count Vance shit talking Karens for looking at him weird, normal. Yeahh it was.

"Did you see the way the fuck-tard tried saying I hit her? I should've fuckin' hit'er with the way she was puttin' her finger in my face. Fucking shit face." Vance rambled on as he pulled out of the grocery-store parking lot. "Yeah.. It's fucking mint." I mumbled.

Vance offered to help me get my dad's grocery order he left written on a note that my dad left on the kitchen counter. Vance said it was just cause he wanted to drive his truck around, we both know it's cause he wanted to stay by me today.

Later that night I had called him, asking if his parents were home; they weren't. My parents had gotten into and argument, causing my mom to pack a few clothes for a week to go to my grandparents. I begged her to let me go with her, but she didn't have a say in it. My dad was all about 'Women are there to clean' 'Women can't do this, that and other'. It pissed me off.. it was wrong, what pissed me off more was that he didn't let me go with her, and I figured he would have at least stayed home.

I was wrong.

Very. Wrong.

While this all happened, I was getting home from Finney's place.

I explained what happened to Vance over the phone, he understood, considering we both have similar family issues. I told him I was gonna be home alone for a while, so he decided he was gonna come over.

"Key's are under the flower pot, Vanny"

"K. C'ya ina bit, idiot"

I hung the phone back up, walking around my living-room, picking up shattered glass, beer bottles, and dirty plates. My dad left the house in the middle of the night when I was at Finney's. "Asshole could have cleaned.." I muttered to myself. Not that it did any good. It only made me angrier.

I didn't normally get angry. At least not as bad as Vance- I mean yeah! Sure, I get angry, sometimes I won't admit it; I take it to far.

That's only if my buttons get pushed enough, Vance has never seen me angry... yet

"Hey, I knocked you idiot. You didn't open the damn door!" Vance said as he walked into me house. He made his way to where I was in the kitchen. "Hey, do you hear me? I'm talking to you!" He groaned, coming up behind me and placing his hand on my shoulder, turning me to face him.

"Just shut the fuck up Vance. Shut up. All you fucking do is worry about your damn Pinball game, worry about if you beat your fucking score! You beat up kids cause you fucking feel like it, or feel like they owe you shit!" I huff, tears filling my water line as I stare him head in the face. All I saw was red.

"You don't fucking care about me, you fucking retard! You only come to me cause I'm the only fucker who will put up with your ass!" I yelled. Tears now streaming down my face. That's when he noticed my busted lip and bruised cheek.

He didn't say anything after what I yelled at him. As if he was a dog that chewed up someone's shoe and is now getting scolded for it.

'Did he hit you?" He mumbled. I roll my eyes and scoff. "No I hit the floor with my face." I stare at him. He huffed, shaking his head. I throw my hands in the air and let them fall. "Why do you answer the phone so quickly when I call, Vance?" I ask, eyes lowly lit from the dim kitchen ceiling light.

"What do you mean, [Y/N]?" he asked. I get close to him, nose inches from each other. "You wanna fuck me Vance? huh? Does it make you mad that I'm the only person that isn't all over you the second you walk through the door?" I hear him breath out harshly. "Answer me, Vance."

"Get the fuck out of my face, or I'll number you one harder than your dad did."

TO BE CONTINUED....

[youngsadlesbian]

SIRIUS GIRL — marlene mckinnon.

pairing: marlene mckinnon x reader

summary: marlene mckinnon was the love of your life. but sometimes, lovers do not end up together.

a/n: i think it's the most angst and miserable thing i've ever written in my life, i'm sorry 🥹 i got carried away a bit and added more things than i would have liked, so in the end, this story was more about harry x reader than marlene x reader in a way. i didn't have much time to revise the story, so as english is not my first language, i apologize for any mistakes. hope u like it!

word count: 7,1k

warnings: angst, everyone dies cause jk rowling hates every single character, so many sadness and death and reader being a worried mom <3

Marlene McKinnon was the most beautiful girl at Hogwarts. It was not known for sure if it was because of her brown eyes that contrasted so well with her fair skin, or because of her blonde hair that had a unique cut that only suited her.

But she was Sirius's girl, your best friend since your first day at Hogwarts.

Your passion for Marlene was immediate. You clearly remembered watching her from the Gryffindor table, her striking figure appearing calm as the Sorting Hat was placed on her head. When you found out she was going to be your housemate for seven years, you knew it was her.

But you never had the courage to confess your passion. In fact, you didn't communicate much with her because you was always a complete mess when tried. No one noticed because you always knew how to disguise it very well.

Your years at Hogwarts were incredible. Your friendship with Sirius grew every year. You became friends with the Marauders and also an animagus, to help Remus with his transformations.

You were a beautiful black cat, nicknamed Kitty. Normally, you would lie in wait and run through the secret passages with Peter if something went wrong, to warn Dumbledore. It was a perfect disguise; Hogwarts was full of cats.

Just like your friendship with the Marauders, you've found someone just as amazing as Sirius: Lily Evans. You had known each other for years, sharing a dorm and studying together at times. But never to the point where have a connection. It was sudden and one of the best things that happened to you. Lily was smart, selfless and sensitive.

In your seventh year, everything changed when Sirius and Marlene suddenly started dating. You always knew how to hide your feelings well because you were very shy, but for the first time, Sirius noticed that your smile wasn't as sincere as it used to be.

"Hey, Kitty. Is everything okay?" Sirius asked one night after Quidditch practice. You were watching Marlene and Sirius laughing together from afar, your heart aching with every look.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Padfoot. I just have a lot on my mind with the exams and everything," you replied, trying to sound casual.

Sirius didn't look convinced, but he didn't insist. "Okay, but you know you can talk to me, right?"

You nodded, forcing a smile. "Of course, thank you, Padfoot."

Months passed, and you continued to hide your feelings, maintaining a brave facade while inside, your heart ached every time you saw Marlene and Sirius together. You buried yourself in your studies trying to distract yourself from the pain.

It didn't take long to realize that maybe finding someone to spend time with would be a good distraction. This is how your relationship with Emmeline Vance, a Ravenclaw student, began. Both with different reasons; she because she wanted a distraction from the pressure of school and parents, and you, because she wanted something to ease the pain.

Remus was the only one who didn't seem very happy when he found out about your relationship and at the time you didn't understand. But Remus always knew that you loved Marlene, even if in your head it was a secret to everyone.

Until your graduation, you were forced to create a facade that only disappeared in front of Emmeline, a witch smart enough to discover the truth. You spent countless nights lying in the astronomy tower, looking at the stars, you being comforted by Emmeline while you saw Sirius and Marlene in the distance returning from some walk.

You would feel more alone and miserable if it weren't for the constant presence of Remus, Lily and Emmeline, who wouldn't leave you alone for a single minute.

One of the happiest moments of your life, besides witnessing Lily and James' wedding, was being invited to be Harry's godmother months later.

It was a common visit to the Potter's house, where you would always bring a cake and Lily would prepare tea. It was colder than usual, so you wore something heavier and took off your coat as soon as the house felt cozy and warm, settling down on the couch next to Lily. "I've been talking to James and we've decided that there's no better person to be Harry's godmother than you. Of course, if you accept." You hugged Lily tightly and couldn't hold back your tears.

"Of course I do! That's amazing." Lowering yourself until you were at Lily's belly, you placed your mouth close and got a laugh from the witch. "Hey little Potter, I promise I'll be the best godmother in the world."

You needed to stay away from them as soon as the prophecy was revealed, as you were actively a member of the Order of the Phoenix and were not supposed to know where they were to avoid magic being used on you in case there was a confrontation and they discovered the Potters' location. You got some owls from Lily where she told you about smart little Harry and how he had your eyes and looked a lot like his dad.

Then, one afternoon in 1981, everything changed. You remembered sitting on the couch finishing reading Dorian Gray when a noise at the window scared you. It was Luna, Remus's owl. Luna was large, with an impressive wingspan that highlighted her majestic presence. Her plumage was mostly white, with scattered black markings that provided an elegant contrast, and she had expressive yellow eyes, reflecting a serene wisdom and keen perception, just like her owner. In Luna's beak there was a letter addressed to you, and due to the rush in writing you feared the worst.

But nothing would prepare you for Remus' words.

Kitty,

I hope this letter finds you well, despite the difficult circumstances that surround us. It is with a heavy heart that I write to inform you of terrible news. Marlene McKinnon and her entire family were brutally murdered by Death Eaters. Their loss is a devastating blow to us all and a painful reminder of the cruelty we have faced.

I need to speak to you urgently. There are important issues that we must discuss in person. Please meet me at the Hog's Head, I'm waiting for you. The situation is serious and your support is crucial at this time.

With regret and hope to see you soon,

Remus Lupin

No. You couldn't believe it.

You rushed out of your house, the shock and pain giving you frantic energy. You apparated straight to Hogsmeade and ran towards the Hog's Head. As entered the pub, the dark, smoky atmosphere barely registered in your mind; Your eyes searched for Remus, and he was there, sitting in the corner, with an expression of deep sadness.

“Remus,” you whispered, almost out of breath. He looked up and, upon seeing your devastated expression, immediately stood up to wrap you in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry, Kitty. I'm so sorry," he repeated, his voice hoarse with emotion.

You clung to him, the crying finally breaking through the barriers. "I...I can't believe it. Marlene... Her whole family... why?"

Remus sighed, rubbing your back comfortingly. "The Death Eaters are getting bolder and bolder. They are attacking anyone they see as a threat. Marlene was a strong and brave witch, as you know. She fought to the end, but... it wasn't enough."

You sobbed into Remus' shoulder, his every word digging into your heart like a blade. "She deserved so much more... they all did."

He continued to hold you, letting you cry, offering the silent comfort of his presence. After a while, he spoke again, his voice low and full of regret. "I knew this would be difficult for you. Marlene meant a lot to all of us, but especially to you."

You nodded, unable to speak, the weight of the loss crushing your chest. Remus stood there, unwavering, his invaluable support in this moment of pain.

Days passed in a whirlwind of sadness and grief. You could barely function, the loss of Marlene still fresh and painful. But then, the news that would come next would rock his world even more.

You were sitting at the small table in your kitchen, trying to drink some tea that Remus had insisted on making for you, when an owl brought another letter. This time, from Dumbledore.

With shaking hands, you opened the letter and read the words with dawning horror. Lily and James Potter were dead, handed over to a terrible fate by Sirius Black. And Harry, your godson, was now an orphan and you figured he would stay with the Dursleys.

Feeling a growing desperation, you hurried to get dressed and apparated to Little Whinging, Surrey. Finding Dumbledore before he left Harry with the Dursleys was his only priority now.

Arriving in the quiet neighborhood, you saw Dumbledore standing on the sidewalk, holding a small package of blankets with Harry inside. He looked surprised as you approached, your breathing quickening with panic and excitement.

“Dumbledore, please,” you began, voice shaky. "Don't leave Harry with the Dursleys. Let me have him. He's my godson, and… I need to look after him."

Dumbledore looked at you with a sad and compassionate look. "I understand your wish, my dear, but Harry will be safe here with the Dursleys. There are ancient protections that can only be activated by blood. He will be safe here, even if it is not the most loving place."

“But… they won’t love him like I do,” you argued, tears streaming down your face. "He needs love, support, not just security."

Dumbledore sighed deeply, considering his words. He looked at little Harry in his arms, then at you. "Do you understand the magnitude of what you are asking? Caring for Harry will be an arduous and dangerous task. He needs someone who can protect him and guide him with love and wisdom."

“I understand,” you replied firmly, though your voice shook. "I promise I will look after him, protect him with my life. Please, Dumbledore, let me be that person for him."

Dumbledore studied you for a long moment before slowly nodding. "Very well. I see the sincerity in your eyes. Harry will need love and protection, and if you are willing to offer that, then he will stay with you."

He handed Harry to you, his blue eyes shining with a mixture of relief and concern. "Take good care of him. He is our future."

You held Harry tenderly, feeling the weight of responsibility and love grow in your heart. "I promise I will look after him, Dumbledore. With all my heart."

As Dumbledore disappeared into the darkness of the night, you looked down at little Harry in your arms, feeling a renewed determination. You would honor Lily and James' memory.

\-/

Years passed, and Harry grew up in a home full of love and care. You dedicated yourself entirely to him, ensuring he had a happy and safe childhood. He was a happy, curious and lively child, always eager to explore the world around him.

You remembered the precious moments you spent together: the nights when he asked you to read stories about wizards and witches before bed, the sunny afternoons in the garden where he ran and played with an infectious laugh, and the birthday parties you had you organized it with so much care, always making a point of creating unforgettable memories.

When Harry was old enough to understand, you started telling him about his parents. You chose a quiet day, when he was sitting on your lap, his green eyes shining with curiosity.

“Harry, there is something very important I need to tell you,” you began, stroking his dark hair. "Your parents, Lily and James, were incredible people. They loved you more than anything in this world and made a huge sacrifice to protect you."

Harry's eyes widened, taking in every word. "What happened to them?" he asked, his voice soft and full of innocence.

“Your parents were killed by a very dangerous dark wizard called Voldemort,” you explained, the pain still fresh in your heart. "They died to protect you, Harry. But their love for you was so strong that it saved you."

Harry was silent for a moment, processing the information. Then, he looked at you with a surprising maturity for his age. "I lost a mother and a father," he said slowly, "but I gained another mother, didn't I?"

Your heart sank and your eyes filled with tears. You hugged Harry tightly, feeling a deep love for the brave boy. "Yes, Harry. And I will always be here for you."

When Harry turned eleven, a very special event happened. One morning, while you were having breakfast, an owl sat on the window with a letter in its beak. Harry ran to catch it, his eyes shining with excitement.

"It's from Hogwarts!" he exclaimed, opening the letter with shaking hands. "I've been accepted! I'm going to Hogwarts!"

You smiled, happiness radiating from you. "I knew this day would come. I'm so proud of you, Harry."

Preparing for Hogwarts was a time of great excitement. You took Harry to Diagon Alley to buy all his school supplies. You walked together through the magical streets, exploring each store with curiosity and wonder.

At the Owl Emporium, Harry chose a white owl named Hedwig, who immediately cuddled up to his arm, creating an instant bond. At Ollivander's, Harry was delighted to find the perfect wand for him, a magical experience he would never forget.

"This is amazing!" Harry exclaimed, looking around with wide eyes. "I didn't know a place like this existed."

You smiled, happy to share this experience with him. "The wizarding world is full of wonders, Harry. And you will discover so many incredible things at Hogwarts."

The night before Harry left for Hogwarts, you sat next to him on the bed, holding his hands. "Harry, you're starting a new adventure. Remember, your parents would be just as proud of you as I am. And no matter what happens, I'll always be here for you."

Harry smiled, eyes shining with excitement. "I know. Thank you for everything. I couldn't have asked for a better mother."

His words warmed your heart, and you hugged him tightly, feeling a deep gratitude for having Harry in your life. The next morning, you walked him to platform 9 ¾, helping him board the train to Hogwarts.

"Be brave, Harry. And enjoy every moment," you said, waving as the train pulled away.

Harry waved back, a beaming smile on his face. "I'll go! I'll see you on vacation!"

Harry's first four years at Hogwarts were marked by adventures, challenges and dangers that you could never have imagined when you decided to look after him. Every year, you were called to school because of some incident, each one more incredible and frightening than the last.

In his first year, Harry entered into a series of events that culminated in his fight against Voldemort. When Dumbledore sent a letter informing him that Harry had faced Quirrell, possessed by Voldemort's spirit, your heart almost stopped.

Arriving at the hospital wing, you found Harry lying in bed, surrounded by Ron and Hermione. His eyes lit up when he saw you.

"Mom! I'm fine, just a little tired," he said with a weak smile.

You hugged him tightly. "Little Potter, you always get into trouble, don't you?"

He laughed, but there was a weariness in his eyes. "It was scary, but we won."

During the summer holidays, you made sure to provide Harry with moments of peace and happiness. You spent sunny days walking in the park, reading together and exploring Diagon Alley. One night, while you were watching a muggle movie, you made a joke, "Harry, if you keep this up, I'm going to be too old to deal with your adventures before I'm fifty."

He laughed and replied, "Sorry, Mom. I promise to try to stay out of trouble...if trouble stays out of me."

In the second year, the events surrounding the Chamber of Secrets were even scarier. When you received Dumbledore's letter about Harry's situation and the petrified students, you flew to Hogwarts.

In the hospital wing, you found Harry once again, with Ron and Hermione at his side.

"Harry, honey, are you okay?" You asked, trying to hold back the tears.

Harry nodded, looking a little shaken. "I'm fine, Mom. It was a giant snake that time."

You shook your head in disbelief. "A giant snake? And here I am, thinking things couldn't get any crazier."

Over the holidays, the two of you took a trip to the countryside, far from any magical threats. Walked along trails, had picnics and spent nights watching the stars. Harry loved the tranquility, and you made another joke to lighten the mood: "Harry, if we ever bring a giant snake home, I'm going to have to rethink our decor."

Third year brought the reappearance of Sirius Black, your former best friend and supposed dangerous assassin. You were called to Hogwarts when Harry fainted after the Dementor attack.

You found Harry in the hospital wing, with Ron and Hermione once again at his side.

"Honey, are you okay? Those Dementors are terrible," you said, hugging him.

Harry smiled, although he looked a little pale. "Yes, it was...intense. But I'm fine now."

During your vacation, you visited the coast, spending days at the beach and nights telling stories under the stars. Harry, always curious about Sirius, loved hearing his stories about him. And you, with your usual humor, said, "If we ever bring home a Dementor, I think I'm going to need more hot chocolate."

The fourth year was by far the scariest. The Triwizard Tournament placed Harry in extremely dangerous situations. You were called after the final event, where Harry had faced Voldemort and witnessed the death of Cedric Diggory.

In the hospital wing, Harry was more dejected than ever, with Ron and Hermione by his side.

"Harry, my dear, I can't believe you went through this," you said, holding his hand.

He looked at you, his eyes filled with sadness. "It was horrible, Mom. Cedric...he died."

You hugged him, feeling your heart break for him. "We'll get through this together, Harry. You're incredibly strong."

During the holidays, you did everything you could to provide Harry with moments of joy and distraction. Took a trip to France, where you visited the Eiffel Tower and explored the local magic. Harry loved the adventure, but you realized he carried a heavier weight in his heart. Trying to ease the tension, you joked, "If we continue these adventures, I'm going to need a break from our vacation."

With Voldemort's return, it was extremely dangerous to remain in the same place, as it was widely known that Harry Potter had been in your care since the death of his parents. The Order of the Phoenix decided that the best option would be to move you to the Black home in Grimmauld Place to ensure your safety.

You had the joy of meeting old friends. Remus Lupin was a figure you hadn't seen in about two years, not since he had been Harry's teacher at Hogwarts. Even before that, there was already a certain distance between you two.

Emmeline Vance was also present, making the meeting somewhat awkward given the circumstances of your relationship at Hogwarts. You discovered that she hadn't married or started a family, her priority being her career as an Auror.

Then, the most awaited meeting took place. When the members of the Order ensured your safety inside the house, the first person to welcome you was Sirius Black. He still looked like that best friend with long black hair that drove girls crazy, with the same crooked and charming smile that used to irritate you as a teenager. You still hadn't spoken since it was revealed that he had been wrongfully imprisoned in Azkaban.

Sirius couldn't contain the urge to hug you as if his life depended on it. "Kitty, you don't know how much I missed you." You felt like a teenager again, coming back from vacation, seeing your best friend and ready to tell him all the news possible. "Oh, your girl is here."

Sirius loved to embarrass you in front of others, something remarkable in your friendship and apparently unchanged, even now, as adults.

Harry made a confused expression. "What girl?"

Sirius smiled that smile that always preceded a funny comment. "Vance and your godmother used to be girlfriends at Hogwarts." You pinched Sirius. "I'm being mistreated for telling the truth. Things don't change."

You spent hours in the kitchen with the Weasleys, reminiscing about old times, with Sirius always making a point of telling your biggest shames. Harry seemed to love this dynamic, it was different hearing about your closeness with Sirius and seeing how, despite the distance, things hadn't become awkward between you.

At some point in the night, only you and Sirius were awake in the house. You prepared tea while he, sitting at the table, watched you carefully. To Sirius, you hadn't changed much. Except for the haircut and the tired expression, you were still Kitty, his best friend. But now Sirius saw you with different eyes because he knew the truth.

You poured the tea and sat down facing him. Silence prevailed for a few minutes until Sirius finally revealed what was tormenting his thoughts. "Remus told me everything." You avoided reacting, even though you knew he was referring to that shocking secret. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

You took a crumpled pack of cigarettes out of your pocket, offering one to Sirius. It took a while for your eyes to stop observing a specific point in the room and for your mouth to move. "I didn't want to take any more good things out of your life, Padfoot." You started, puffing on your cigarette as if it would give you some courage. "You had already lost so much, suffered so much... What kind of friend would I be?"

Sirius was silent, absorbing the depth of your words. He always knew about your terrible habit of trying to be everything to everyone, forgetting that you also deserved good things. He held your hand, squeezing gently.

"I wouldn't have started anything with Marlene if I'd known that. Mainly because it wasn't anything serious, you know?" A sad smile graced Sirius' lips. "And Marlene had told me she liked you a long time ago. So she couldn't promise me anything other than what we had."

The revelation broke you. You felt so stupid knowing that you could have had your happy ending with the girl you loved, but you were too stupid not to reveal your feelings. There was no greater regret for a human being than not having done something. You knew it would haunt you forever.

It didn't take long for Harry to return to Hogwarts, but this time, things weren't so easy. The Ministry of Magic was unyielding in its mission to tarnish the image of Harry and Dumbledore in the wizarding world. His efforts reached Hogwarts, including Dolores Umbridge on the faculty, hampering your attempt to observe Harry from afar.

After they removed Dumbledore as headmaster, things became even more difficult. Harry didn't tell you much about the events and now there was no longer a reliable informant. Your daily worry caused a growing despair in stomach, appeased without much success by the members of the Order.

Then the fateful day arrived. The Order received a message from Severus Snape. Despite his attempts, he hadn't had much success in teaching Harry how to prevent the Dark Lord from entering his mind. It was difficult for a sixteen year old boy to fight this, no matter how experienced and talented he was. The battle in the ministry was brutal. Years passed without you being in the presence of Death Eaters, and back then, you weren't used to fearing for your life.

But now you had enough reasons to fight. There were children to protect.

Your priority throughout the battle was protecting Harry, fighting alongside him and feeling tremendous pride. He was talented just like Lily.

Then Bellatrix Lestrange sealed Sirius Black's fate with a killing curse.

You shouldn't have knelt down and cried over the death of your first and best friend. You shouldn't have let your guard down. But you were human.

You couldn't see the moment Harry pulled away from you. You didn't even notice Lupin's arms hugging you. You only remembered Luna Lovegood's voice saying what broke you out of your grief spiral.

"The Dark Lord is with Harry. He needs you."

You've never run so fast in your life. Harry shouldn't be alone facing Voldemort, he was just a child thrown into a war that took everything from him.

Nothing in life prepared you for seeing Voldemort and Dumbledore duel. The headmaster protected Harry with all the spells he could while he cursed the Dark Lord. The wizards' distraction gave you enough time to approach Harry.

"Mommy's here, honey." You whispered to Harry. His green eyes were teary and you had to be strong for him once again.

Voldemort managed to escape, but on one hand you had a victory: The Ministry finally understood that he was back.

It was Harry's first vacation that you didn't go on. It wasn't safe. You spent part of the summer at Grimmauld Place, immersed in Sirius' memories. Harry often asked for more stories about his godfather, which you shared wholeheartedly.

Losing Sirius was something you never imagined. You still remembered meeting him on the train to Hogwarts, becoming friends just because you complimented his hair and especially hoping that you would stay in the same house. He had been your first friend. It wasn't like the muggle orphanage you were raised in had the friendliest children in the world.

Another move needed to be made. You and Harry would have to be moved once again, this time, to The Burrow. It was like old times, seeing practically every member of the Order gathered and ready for battle. You felt your heart heavy with the loss of friends who were no longer alive.

"Mom, are you okay?" You were startled by Harry's abrupt presence. He sat next to you on the couch. You shook your head. "I didn't want to leave home either."

"Home is where our hearts are. Mine is with you." You ruffled Harry's hair. "When this is all over, I'm going to take you to see Latin America. What do you think?"

Harry smiled. "Like Brazil? I heard they have a magic school there too."

"Especially Brazil. I'll take you to see every part of the planet and you'll never need to be afraid of anything again, okay? I promise."

Harry hugged you and you felt truly at home after a long time.

Before reaching your final destination, there were losses.

Moody. Hedwig.

Your heart broke at Harry's report; his owl had tried to protect him from a killing curse, just like his mother years before. You wanted so badly for your little boy to have some peace.

You feared for Harry to go to Hogwarts, being sure that something terrible would happen soon. It had been like that the first time; when Marlene and her family were murdered, when you were forced to watch the Dark Lord kill Dorcas Meadowes and couldn't do anything.

Days used to be like this too before the Potters died.

Dumbledore had been communicating a lot with you over the last few months, trying his best to let you know about the plans he had with Harry this school year. You made him promise that nothing would happen to him and Dumbledore told you something you would never forget.

"Your love for Harry won't be able to save him when the time comes, Y/N."

Practically throughout the year you were traveling back and forth, looking for important information for the Order. There was a risk of being caught but you were always very clever in using the polyjuice potion with the faces of people not so common in the wizarding world, with the intention of attracting as little attention as possible.

The day had started out strangely gray, just like all the worst days of your life. You tried to get everything ready because you knew you would have to run soon.

You wanted so badly to be wrong.

Minerva was the one who communicated with you. Dumbledore was dead. The hope of defeating the Dark Lord faded more and more with this information.

Bill and Fleur's wedding provided a brief moment of tranquility before the coming storm. During the party, you stayed close to Harry, trying to make sure he made the most of his time with his friends, without letting on the anxiety you all shared.

As you danced, there was a forced smile on Harry's lips, although his eyes showed underlying concern. "Thank you for being here," he whispered as you spun around the room.

“Always, Harry,” you replied, trying to convey a bit of comfort amidst the tension.

The tranquility was abruptly interrupted by Kingsley Shacklebolt's warning of the Death Eater invasion. In an instant, you were forced apart. Harry left with Ron and Hermione, while you apparated to the only place you thought was safe.

Ted Tonks' house.

It was the worst 9 months of your life, all the time avoiding leaving the mansion and counting on the company of the Tonks and Dean Thomas. Every day you listened to the Potter Observatory and hoped that the name of no one you knew and cared about would come up. Especially Harry's name.

It wasn't long before you, Ted and Dean were captured by some kidnappers and taken to the gloomy Malfoy mansion.

In the mansion, in addition to Draco and his parents, there were other prisoners, such as Luna Lovegood, Garrick Ollivander and some Muggle-borns. The days passed slowly, filled with fear and uncertainty, each moment marked by constant vigilance and imminent threat.

And soon Harry, Ron and Hermione joined the group. You couldn't hide your relief when you saw that your little boy was okay.

"I was so worried." You mumbled as you hugged him like your life depended on it. "Don't ever walk away from me again, little Potter. I can't bear the thought of losing you."

Hermione's agonized screams shattered the moment with an imminent tightening in her chest. You just hoped she would be okay.

It was only after an agonizing time that, by a stroke of luck, Dobby the house elf came up with an audacious plan to free all of you. With Dobby's help, you managed to escape the Malfoys, facing a brief and fierce confrontation before reaching freedom.

But Dobby perished. Harry once again lost someone he loved.

With your hearts still heavy from the loss of Dobby, you fled along the winding trails until you found temporary refuge. The adrenaline was still pumping strong, mixed with the silent mourning for the death of the elf who had sacrificed everything to save them.

The house where you took shelter was modest, but safe for now. Bill and Fleur, along with the others rescued, welcomed them with relief and concern visible on their faces.

"We're so grateful you managed to escape," Fleur said, offering hot tea as you settled around the small kitchen table.

Bill nodded grimly. "But we can't stay here for long. The Death Eaters won't give up easily."

The days that followed were one of meticulous planning and anxious waiting. You knew that you would soon have to part with Harry once again, remembering that there were things that only he could do. Together with Griphook the goblin, Harry and his friends planned their daring invasion of Gringotts.

"Are you sure it's safe?", you asked Harry, as he and Griphook discussed the details of the plan. "That sounds extremely dangerous."

"I know," Harry replied, eyes fixed on the map of Gringotts. "But it's something we need to do. It's the only way to find the horcruxes."

"Trust us," Hermione added, although concern was evident in her voice. "We took every possible precaution."

Two days later, the four left for their mission, leaving you with a mix of pride and apprehension. Determined to continue the fight in your own way, you decided to seek out Albefort Dumbledore, Albus Dumbledore's brother, for help.

With the help of a patronus sent by Kingsley Shacklebolt, you were able to communicate with Aberforth and arrange a meeting in Hogsmeade. Under spells that changed your face, you apparated to the agreed location, where Aberforth was waiting for you near the entrance to his tavern, the Hog's Head.

"Do you really think you can get into Hogwarts?" he asked, his eyes shining with curiosity mixed with concern.

“I have to try,” you replied, determined. "There are students there who need help. Plus, I need to find out any information that could be useful to Harry and the others."

Aberforth sighed but nodded. "Very well. I have a secret passage that leads straight to Hogwarts. Follow me."

He led you down a hallway hidden behind a painting in the tavern. Passing through the narrow, dank tunnel, you finally emerged inside Hogwarts, in the room of precision where Neville Longbottom was leading the student resistance.

"Neville!", you exclaimed, surprised to see the young wizard. "Are you okay?"

"We're resisting," Neville replied with a tired smile. "It's good to see you here. We need all the help we can get."

You spent the next few days helping to organize the resistance within Hogwarts, while searching for information that could be useful to Harry and the others. The school was different, darker and more oppressive under the rule of Snape and the Carrows, but the flame of resistance still burned in the hearts of the students.

One night, while discussing strategy with Neville and Luna, you received an urgent message from Aberforth. "Harry is coming back to Hogwarts. Get ready."

The moment you saw Harry enter the Hog's Head's secret passage, you ran to him, hugging him tightly.

"You're back.", you said, your voice shaking with relief. "I was so worried."

"I missed you, mom." Harry replied, returning the hug. "But we're here now, and we have a job to do."

With the meeting complete, the battle for Hogwarts began. You joined the other members of the Order of the Phoenix and the students to defend the school against the Death Eaters. Your experience and determination were crucial as organized the defense lines and coordinated the combat groups.

"All at your stations!", you shouted, guiding the young wizards to strategic points. "Remember, we are fighting for freedom, for Hogwarts, for everyone we love!"

During the battle, you found yourself in several dangerous situations. At one point, you fought side by side with Kingsley Shacklebolt and Minerva McGonagall, conjuring powerful spells to stop the Death Eaters trying to invade the castle.

"Secure the entrance!" ordered McGonagall, her voice firm despite the chaos around her. "We can't let them pass!"

"We're with you!", you replied, casting protection spells and attacks in equal measure. The sense of unity and purpose was palpable, even in the midst of danger.

As the battle raged, you also helped organize the evacuation of the wounded, guiding them to the Hospital Wing where Madam Pomfrey was working miracles to save those she could.

"You're amazing, Pomfrey," you said, helping carry an injured student. "We couldn't do it without you."

The night dragged on and the fighting continued fiercely and seemed to have no end. You saw several students being killed without being able to do anything, trying not to think about it too much so as not to lose focus. Then the Dark Lord's voice boomed throughout the castle and beyond, delivering his dark message.

"You fought valiantly. Lord Voldemort knows how to value bravery. However, now your efforts are futile. You have lost yet another of your own, and I have become immune. Voldemort is ready to show mercy. I order my Death Eaters to withdraw immediately. You have one hour. Hand over Harry Potter and no one else will die. You have one hour to hand over Harry Potter to my power. Only Harry Potter must be handed over and no one else will be harmed."

Only then did you understand what Dumbledore had told you about a year and a half before.

Your love for Harry won't be able to save him when the time comes, Y/N.

Harry was the only one who could defeat the Dark Lord, and he might not live to witness it.

He had been raised like a lamb to the slaughter; waiting for the moment to perish at the hands of the monster that had killed his parents and taken away everything he loved most in his life.

You walked through the Great Hall and then you saw it. Remus Lupin's limp body. The sight hit you like a blow, and you ran to him, falling to your knees next to your friend's lifeless body.

"Not you, Moony. Not you," you murmured, hugging him tightly as tears ran down your face. The pain of loss was almost unbearable. Remus, who had always been a source of strength and wisdom, now lay there, ripped from you by the cruelty of war.

As the chaos of the battle dissipated, you stood by Remus's side, holding him as if you could somehow bring him back. But deep down, you knew he was gone, like so many others who had fought bravely.

The hall was full of bodies, friends and colleagues who had given their lives for freedom. Each represented a story, a loss, a deep scar in the hearts of those who survived.

Harry approached, his eyes red with unshed tears. He placed a hand on yor shoulder, offering silent comfort. "Let's keep going for them," he said softly. "For Remus, for all of them."

You nodded, feeling the weight of responsibility and pain, but also the determination to honor those who had fallen. "For Remus," you replied, your voice breaking. "We'll continue."

After that, you didn't see Harry anymore and you understood what that meant. Just hoping that, once again, Lily's protection would be with him. Harry deserved happiness, and Voldemort, death.

Time seemed to stop as you sat on the floor, immersed in so many memories of your godson, your son. You had never thought about having a child, just as had never planned to get married. But knowing that Harry had been orphaned and could end up in a loveless family made you change all your life plans for him.

You were an orphan and didn't know love until you arrived at Hogwarts. Harry deserved better, and you were pretty sure you managed to give him that.

Voldemort's deep voice, in an evil laugh, echoed throughout the castle, making everyone head outside.

"Harry Potter is dead! He was killed while fleeing, trying to save his own skin. Here is his body, handed over to you as proof that your hero perished in his attempt to escape."

Harry's body was carried by Hagrid, just as it had been years ago on that dark night in Godric's Hollow.

Your heart stopped for a moment, the sight of Harry limp in Hagrid's arms was an almost unbearable blow. You ran forward, ignoring the tears streaming down your face, and fell to your knees beside him. "No, it can't be," you murmured, touching Harry's face, cold and still. "Not you, Harry. Not you."

The world seemed to crumble around you, and despair took over. Neville reacted, and when anyone least expected it, Harry stood up and the battle was directed towards the Great Hall. The fight resumed. You found yourself dodging Bellatrix Lestrange's spells and protecting Ginny Weasley from her brutality.

Silence settled. Everyone around them stopped to watch as Harry and Voldemort began to circle each other, sizing each other up. The tension was palpable.

Voldemort, whose red eyes glowed lifelessly, whose face was void of any expression. He had just lost his Horcruxes. There was nothing left to hold on to. He needed Harry's wand to have any chance of surviving, but the wand refused to work for him.

Voldemort spoke in a low, rough voice. "You can't win, Harry. You know that now. You have nothing to resist. I am invincible."

Harry replied, his voice firm. "You're wrong, Tom. You're the one with nothing now. Nothing but the death you deserve."

Voldemort cast the Killing Curse, a thunderous sound like a cannon. But this time it was different. Harry's wand, which now recognized him as its true master, did not turn against him. Instead, Voldemort's spell lost power, ricocheted, and came back at himself. Voldemort fell to the ground, defeated, lifeless.

And then you knew the nightmare was finally over.

\-/

It has been many years since that epic day at Hogwarts. The battle scar left on everyone was visible, but peace had finally settled. You now spent your days in the tranquility of the old house, surrounded by photographs of moments that seemed distant.

Harry and Ginny's children, Albus, James and Lily, grew up around you. They called you “grandma” fondly, and you were proud of every moment you spent with them. One sunny afternoon, as everyone gathered in the living room, Albus spoke, concern evident on his young face.

"Grandma, I'm worried... the Sorting Hat might send me to Slytherin."

You smiled gently, remembering your own worries many years ago. "You know, Albus, the Sorting Hat wanted to send me there. But I insisted that I wanted to be in the same house as Sirius Black."

Albus' eyes widened. "Really? But why?"

"Because, darling, the heart speaks louder than any label. And he sent me to Gryffindor."

The children's laughter filled the room, dispelling the momentary tension. You looked around, feeling grateful for every moment of peace and love that surrounded your life now.

At night, while everyone slept, you looked out the window, the memories of those who were gone still echoing in your mind. Marlene McKinnon, whose absence never stopped hurting. You had retired years ago, but your mind and heart had never completely moved away from the battle that had changed everything.

Over the years, you helped Harry raise his children and witnessed every achievement and challenge you faced together. You saw him grow up not just as the Boy-Who-Lived, but as a man dedicated to peace and justice.

And now, as you watched the moonlight illuminate the peaceful garden, you knew that your role in the Harry Potter story had not just been one of struggle, but of love and care until your final days.

[familyvideostevie]

🐚 SEASHELL: “Can we pretend that we’re good? Just for the night til the morning, I’d take it back if I could, but I’ll never find another you.” With James Potter please and thanks.

omg! you sure can! i was feeling a bit angst in this one, maybe james sticking his foot in his mouth and not realizing it. so here's him doing just that! (it ends nice though, obviously)

--

It's like the entire pub goes quiet when you hear it. James is maybe three paces in front of you, speaking to some girls you think you know. You can't see his face but you bet he's smiling, being kind and handsome and flirty like he always is. You plan to slide under his arm and exhibit a tiny bit of possessiveness as you give him his drink but then you hear one of the girls ask about you.

"Are you two, like, together?"

James shrugs. "Why, are you about to ask me to dinner, Vance?"

In that instant, one of the girls spots you behind James and her eyes go wide. You turn before she can say anything and retreat through the crowd and out the front door, two drinks in hand. The smokers who are chatting seem to see that you're in crisis mode and surrender a bit of the standing room to you.

Frankly, you're embarrassed to be so upset. You and James are not officially together. Some dates, kisses, nights spent together don't amount to exclusivity if you haven't spoken about it. But you know that the boys refer to you as his better half and he calls you on days he doesn't see you and you thought maybe it was going in that direction.

But while James is kind and sweet and lovely, he is also a bit vain and has quite the ego sometimes and he likes to flirt. You know all of this but your chest is aching, even so.

Someone calls your name and then James is in front of you. His face is a mix of emotions you've not seen before on him -- flustered and concerned. "I'm sorry," he says, though you're not sure he knows what he's apologizing for.

"I got you a drink," you say, a bit morosely. A breeze sweeps down the street and you shiver. James whips off his jacket and drapes it around your shoulders.

He deems the drinks irrelevant, taking them from you and putting them on the ledge of the pub. "I'm sorry," he says again. "The girls in there told me I needed to fix what I did, so here I am."

He rubs his hands up and down your arms, brow furrowed. He really does seem stressed. "I don't know what you're apologizing for," you say quietly. "No need."

"There is," he says, frowning. "I was being daft. I should have said we're together, because we are. No need to joke about it."

"Are we?" you say, hating how small you sound. James huffs.

"I guess we haven't put a label on it, have we?" You shake your head. "Well, no time like the present. We've been together for weeks in my head, honestly," he confesses. "I mean, I've been having dreams about you for months. Remus says I say your name in my sleep when I'm napping on his couch."

"James," you admonish, face heating. "I feel silly," you tell him.

"What, you don't want to be together? Now is the time to tell me, darling." You look at him and he looks less worried now, though his eyes flash behind his lenses.

"No, I do," you say, and he grins. "I just feel silly for being upset."

James tugs you in for a hug. You smush your face into his shoulder and feel his chest vibrate as he laughs. "It's kind of hot," he says in your ear. "Being possessive. Feel free to do it anytime."

You smack his chest with your palm. "You're impossible."

"But I'm your impossible!"

"That doesn't even make sense, James." He puts your hand on his elbow before he grabs your drinks and heads for the door to go back inside, flashing you a grin and a wink.

"Now I get to tell the whole pub we're together," he says. "And you get to take credit for all the dumb shit I say."

join the celebration!

[eluxcastar]

Writing here because the type limit for comment in that one anon is FEOLSEKFMSEF.

NAUR, NOT THE FINAL LESSON NUH UH. If Arlecchino canonically doesn't die next patch, Brighella shouldn't too… BET. I do love the idea of a match between Cap and Brig! (wait, tf do we name her if she ain't "brighella" the fatui harbinger like it is the name she only knows) I mean, I did think about about her dying too… so tempting. I kinda ride that Acheron idea, some intense danceeee ehe… Her ult kinda has the Arle schemed and vice versa.

Angst material… hmmm, I did have an idea but it was only IF Arlecchino was centuries old but due to her taking over recently by canon that is scrapped because it is too inaccurate by the possibility lol. (It involved lowkey dying, and giving her heart to Arle then did get resurrected by the abyss order for them to use but she went rebellious and just lingers around Teyvat and the Abyss). A dance between the two, YES. I've always thought of Arlecchino being incapable of being romantic with Brighella beyond obsession. But, with all those fanfics I am consumed by sweet Arle with acts of service... Hahaha! We shall wait for the next patch on her potential emotional stance ykyk... Maybe she does care, despite having the reputation of discarding anything that does not benefit her. For me, Arlecchino is more of "You belong to me" kind of person not "You belong with me" Hold up gotta reread the lore stuff, after doing an assignment

Hehe Final Lesson inspiration I knew it was evil ALRIGHT it's on if Arle doesn't die I won't kill Brig either but if she does not only will I cry but I'll make it worse

I still call her Brighella, but she was also briefly called Matilda in my notes after the folksong Waltzing Matilda (what is she but a jolly swagman camped by a billabong (￣▽￣) wait I just realised she lives in Wangshuu Inn next to a body of water—she IS a jolly swagman camped by a billabong (°ロ°) !)

I also struggled so bad with the fact Arle is young because like, the timeline was screwing me over in my original plans (；￣Д￣) I was like WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE OLD (to my friend if you're reading this GO AWAY it's NOT because of the accusations I like old people) it would've made my life easier, but alas miHoYo can never do such things. I would have loved that idea because it's so edible— SACRIFICING herself for Arle??? Then Arle having to grapple with potentially being responsible for Brig becoming an unwilling pawn of the abyss??? delicious (*/▽＼*)

I LOVE the dance between Acheron and Black Swan sm something about those vibes just fits them so well

Yk I agree with that philosophy that Arle is a "you belong to me" not a "you belong with me" kinda person. I also like the idea Arle is lowkey obsessed with her (and though it's subtle in OoR it's sprinkled in there ( ´ ꒳ ` ) ) I wish that it didn't get so long it lagged every word program I put it through because I think when I rewrite it, I'll lean into that more and draw out the time it takes for them to come to an agreement ( ◡‿◡ *) Possibly a mix of the two where her 'love' for Brighella is born of obsession, their relationship is probably in some manner unhealthy, but she may be able to learn to love her normally as well (I doubt either of these people are capable of a healthy or normal relationship LMAO)

Random fun fact to throw into this one: the differences in thinking about their relationship are also what prompted me to have her completely unable to understand why Brighella gave up so easily and generally have there be a disconnect between what Brig wants and what Arle wants for her (ノ*°▽°*) because those are two very different things

Second song idea for the two of them I had five seconds ago: Fire and the Flood by Vance Joy ♡( ◡‿◡ )

[horseshoegirl]

Damn Those Dog Tags: Part 18 - Sapling

📖 This is it - The one song that inspired this entire fic. It’s so bittersweet I’ve gotten to this point. When I posted Part 1: Be Still, a small part of me thought I’d never get here.

I know everyone is probably sick of me saying thank you, but I honestly cannot stop. I could have never imagined the support or the amount of people who’ve loved this story as much as I’ve loved writing it. Whether you’ve been here since I posted all those months ago or just started reading, I cannot describe how important each and every one of you is to me.

Here’s Part 18: Sapling - The one I’ve been waiting for 💛

(If there was ever a song to listen to for this story, even though I know most of you guys don't, this one is it. I hope you do💛) . It's Liz through and through/and the one after this one, but more on that later.)

❗️+18, strong language, godmother reader/original female character, mentions of an original child character, sexual themes, angst, fluff, deployments, apologies, and mentions of shitty family dynamics.

# 5k words

Part 17 | Masterlist | Part 19

"Attention on Deck!"

Jake and Bradley stood in sync in the empty hanger, the sound of metal chairs scraping across the hard stone floor. Much like the day they were called in for the Uranium run, the space had been turned into a mock classroom. Only two desks sat before the podium this time, and Jake and Bradley were the only ones who had been requested to report.

Jake kept his eyes forward as two pairs of footsteps echoed off the hangar floor behind him. Cyclone appeared in the corner of his eye, the man holding two manila envelopes and a thick black binder. He wondered what awaited him or Rooster in those files. While Maverick had torn them apart for the dramatic display, he wouldn't be surprised if Cyclone suddenly decided that wasn't enough.

But Jake could only think it made sense the patterns and exercises they had been flying for the past week were in preparation for something greater.

At least, he hoped they weren't getting kicked out.

But as Cyclone each tossed a folder in front of him and Bradley, Maverick trailing close behind indicated it had to be something worse. Even with his eyes facing forward, Jake could catch the look on the Captain's face out of the corner of his eye.

Worried and apprehensive.

Jake had an answer to his question. It wasn't a reprimand from his and Bradley's dangerous flying from the week previous.

This was a special deployment.

Cyclone stepped up onto the podium, not once lifting his eyes as he dropped the binder down to the wooden surface, stating, "You may be seated."

Jake and Bradley did as they were told, instantly reaching for the papers in front of them.

"Good afternoon." Cyclone finally looked up and nodded to the pair. "Intelligence has gotten word of another illegal facility violating United Nation’s Peace Treaty accords. The flight tests you and your team have been flying these past weeks were a simulation of the area we expect to the best of our intelligence."

Most of what Cyclone was saying flew over Jake’s head. Not after Cyclone explained the stakes. Not after Jake started to read the mission report. Next-generation fighter jets. In enemy hands. And they wanted an air assist while they went after the factory responsible for making them.

Even if he believed he was the best, there was too much at stake for him to say he could make it out of there unscathed confidently.

This was the literal fucking definition of a suicide run.

Rooster suddenly pipped up from beside him as Cyclone paused. "Has the rest of the Squad been briefed, sir?"

Cyclone started him down, his face emotionless. "You misunderstand me, son."

Maverick bowed his head as Cyclone continued, "Only the both of you are going. This is a two-person run."

Bradley side-eyed Jake, who leaned forward slightly to gauge his reaction. All Jake could do was draw in a sharp breath.

"Take it for what you will, gentlemen. Looks like the Navy was impressed with your reckless display and wanted to award your bad behaviour," he remarked, turning the pages of the files before him.

"Now, the factory will be taken care of by ground forces. The technology and the data within the facility are too valuable to be destroyed. We need two F-18s to assist..."

Jake began to drown him out, despite his instincts telling him otherwise. Cyclone explaining everything to them was only a formality, a chance for them to ask questions. Jake didn't need to. Everything he needed to know would be in the brief.

Time.

That's what was on Jake's mind.

How much time did he have left?

How much time did he have left to make it right?

How much did he have left to give to you? And make it up to Sadie?

He jolted slightly when Cyclone hit the edge of his binder against the edge of the podium.

"Get your affairs in order," the older man commanded, walking away. "You have till 22:00 today."

---

The thick fog settling over your neighbourhood this late at night wasn't helping your current mood. You were extremely uncomfortable at the errieness, the dimly lit street lamps casting an unreal green glow. You couldn't even see beyond the neighbours' backyard from your kitchen window.

The rest of the house was silent, too. The lack of noise indicated the place was empty, except for the occasional creek or rustle of a tree branch against the roof. You were utterly alone, with nothing but your thoughts as company.

You wish you could say it was a welcome notion.

With everything that had happened the night Tyler was arrested, Penny closed The Hard Deck for the week, waiting for the insurance money to come through. The damage wasn't as bad as it could have been, and she didn't really need to close it down, but in a way, you realized she was probably using the chance to take a break.

Or at least try to give you one.

So, she decided to go sailing. That's where Sadie was, sleeping over at her place so they could go out on the water tomorrow. Penny had offered to take you as well.

You had refused.

It was funny to think you suddenly needed to process what had happened - you had never been good at processing shit before, so why would this time change that now?

Maybe you just wanted to be alone.

Even the cup of tea you made wasn't helping, having long since gone cold and still practically full. You didn't know what to think, finally alone for the first time in a while, finally finding the opportunity to allow yourself to sit and process.

And you still couldn't bring yourself to do it.

It wasn't as if you didn't know what you should be thinking about. You were thinking about all of it... Tyler, Sadie, Jake... and..

No, not that one yet.

Each thought was laid out in your head like an itemized list, neatly written and bullet-pointed. Each stood out on their own, colour-coded and organized into categories to the point you couldn't do anything more with them. Picturing each in your mind was easy, but you couldn't bring yourself to do anything beyond that.

Something was stopping you from going deeper. Maybe you didn’t want to admit you didn’t know how.

A hard couple of knocks on your front door startled you out of your trance, echoing through the quiet house. It took you a moment to acknowledge them and realize they were, in fact, coming from your front door. You placed your mug on your kitchen table, scraping your chair along the title as you made your way to the front hallway.

It wasn’t quick enough for the person on the other side of the door, impatiently knocking their knuckles against the wood in rapid succession again. The sound quickened your pace, socked feet on the coarse rug thumping with each step.

In retaliation to the urgent knocks, you ripped the door open in an aggressive pull, only to find Jake hunched over, forearm resting on your doorframe. His head was bowed, handing low between his shoulders until he realized you had finally opened the door. Lifting his head, several emotions flashed across his face. Hope. Despair. Then, determination, with wide and wild eyes staring back at you.

You realized he was dressed in his flight suit, his hair was flicked back, and his face looked like it had been freshly shaven.

And he was panting like he had run a marathon.

“Jake?”

"I thought we would have more time," he heaved roughly. "I thought we had all the time in the world to figure this out. For me to find a million different ways to say I'm sorry for what I said. For what I did."

The corners of your mouth quivered, and your eyebrows furrowed, knitting together.

"No matter the length of time, I never would have gotten it right. Because there is no right way to apologize for what I said,” he lamented.

He opened his mouth to say something else but froze, the words dying in his throat like he suddenly lost whatever drive he had while coming here. Pushing himself off the frame, he turned towards your driveway, looking lost. With his back facing you, he reached for the bannister of your front porch, leaning over and bowing his head between shoulders.

You didn't know what else to do except remain frozen in your doorway, watching him look utterly defeated.

“Rooster and I got called up. It’s dangerous. Extremely dangerous,” he said, his voice low. “I might be the best, but even this one worries me.”

Whatever feelings of anger or resentment you had been carrying towards Jake were suddenly overpowered by concern.

Despite knowing you would never be privy to the details of the Navy, you found yourself stepping forward, a hand reaching out as you asked, “How dangerous?!”

You stopped yourself from touching his shoulder when he lifted his head, a sad smile on his face as he looked out to your yard. “You know we can’t tell you more than that, Darlin’.”

You crossed your arms below your breasts instead, gripping your elbows with a hint of apprehension as you gulped. “Do you know how long?”

He dropped his head again, shaking it while doing so. “At least a month, maybe two.”

A month, even two, was too long. Not when… You didn’t even know. You didn’t even know what to say or to do. Because Jake had hurt you, had protected you, and then shown up on your literal doorstep late at night before another deployment to leave all his cards on the table.

Sarcasm, sass, or any attitude or brave face you've ever used from behind that fucking bar couldn't save you from this. Not when Jake was facing yet another death sentence.

That fact alone made your heart break just a little bit further.

“George called me,” he told you, filling the silence. “Said the first thing he did was kick the hell bringer off the ranch. I didn’t trust him. But then Janet called, saying his name was on the deed for some tax reasons, so George had every right.”

Your heart was pounding in your chest as you joined him, coming to stand next to him and gripping the front railing tight. It almost hurt - the way the wood felt under your nails.

"I never expected that. I never expected George to seek me out after what I did to him either. I honestly thought he'd report home, saying the damage had been done," Jake sighed, rocking his shoulders back and forth. "But he did. And the first thing he did was admit he was scared of you."

You dropped your chin to your chest. You couldn’t deny that maybe a little bit of shame was starting to eat away at your stomach. Yelling at George was more than just you being upset at both Seresin brothers. It was a deep-seated weight you had been carrying for too long, waiting for any moment it could unleash itself. George and Jake… had been the perfect excuse to scapegoat the underlying issue you refused to acknowledge in yourself.

Jake straightened himself, turning to face you with a bated breath. You spun with him, leaving your one hand on the railing.

"He told me the reason he wanted to change was not that I had shown him up at darts or that you had torn him apart with your words, but that either one of us should’ve to begin with. You made him realize that.”

You failed to notice Jake’s hand slowly sliding along the bannister, inching closer to yours.

"My relationship with him is anything but fixed. He is more of an asshole than I could ever be. But when I told him he needed to live his own life, he said he couldn’t claim anything he had earned for himself without the hell-bringer handing it to him. Or say he did it with good intentions.”

It wasn’t a shock when Jake slid his hand over the top of yours, gently curving his fingers around your wrist. In fact, you let him, allowing him to pull you towards him as he stepped closer gently.

“But he also said he found you on the beach the night Tyler stormed the bar.”

You failed to hide your grimace at the mention of Tyler’s name, and Jake offered a sad smile. “He said he tried to make things right. Because after I quoted a dead president, he took what you said to him to heart..”

You swallowed hard, knowing just exactly what George had been referring to. It was the same point you made when you yelled at him, the words echoing in your head.

‘So you can gallivant around letting someone who has lived their life decide what you do with the rest of yours?’

And when you asked point blank on the beach the last time, he had been happy. Which was when he did something for himself.

"He's never thought highly of me, but he said meeting you and Sadie was the best damn thing I could have ever done." Jake reached for your other hand, looking down. "Because my arena has two people willing to be in it with me, no matter what I've done."

“I’ve always loved that quote,” you laughed quietly to yourself, trying to avert your eyes.

“I know,” he replied sadly. “It was in a worn book on your bookcase.”

You lift your head, finally allowing yourself to stare into his eyes. It pains you to think you had forgotten how green they were. And how easy it was to get lost in them when so much happened between you.

"I should have let you explain yourself that day."

Jake huffed a small laugh, reaching up to stroke a piece of hair away from your face. “I shouldn’t have said those words to begin with. And not that it’s worth anything, I’m so sorry they did.”

Jake doesn't drop his hand but rather cups the side of your face.

"But you deserve more than an apology on the eve of a deployment. It's not fair to you. But I have to try because there is a chance I might not be able to. Because I'm trying to listen to the advice of a ten-year-old girl who once said she believed in me.

The admission guts you. Sadie’s impact on the world and those around you would always gut you.

“So let me be honest with you now before I don’t have the chance to,” He urged, his thumb caressing under your eye and across your cheek. "I'm in love with you, Elizabeth Beck."

A strangled sob tore from your throat, attempting to pull your hand out of Jake's and your face away from his touch. He was quicker, tugging you forward into his chest with a hand on the back of your neck. You were too weak to protest, allowing yourself to be pulled towards him.

"No, you're not running from this, darlin'," he shushed you, both arms encasing themselves around your waist, preventing you from escaping. "Not this time."

You couldn't do anything but cup your face in your hands, pressing yourself against his chest and sobbing. Tilting his head down, he whispered gently against your ear, "I'm not saying it to hear it back. I'm telling you so you never doubt that I do."

Strange enough, you didn’t doubt him. Not ever - even when he had hurt you.

He kissed your collarbone once through the thick fabric of your sweater, feeling as if he had touched your bare skin. He took a deep breath under your hands, body heaving up once as he gathered the courage to continue.

“Darlin,” he whispered. “ I know I can’t ask this of you, but I can only hope you love me back. Even after… Because I know how badly I fucked up. For a split second, back at the Hard Deck, I thought you would be better off without me."

"You hurt me, Jake," you cried into his chest. "You said those things..."

"I know, darlin'," his voice sounded broken next to your ear. "I went for the things I knew you'd leave me for, not because I believed them. Just the opposite. You didn't need me in your life, in Sadie's life, when I have so much baggage following me around. You didn't need another pair of assholes tainting your life, whether it be George, the hell bringer, or myself."

You gripped his flight suit tight at his confession.

"Then Sadie cornered me on the beach. And told me to get my shit together or not bother coming around anymore. Because you two would be just fine without me," he sniffed. "And it fucking hurt coming from her."

"Oh, Bug," you coo. You're not mad at her for going against your rule.

“I can’t promise I’m not going to fuck it up again. I’m the furthest thing from perfect compared to everyone I know. But I promise, I won't stop trying to get it right or at least stop at how many times I have to apologize to you for being me.”

You hate him. You hate him.

Except you don’t.

“I brought you your favourite flowers the first time I apologized because I couldn’t offer anything else. And I cannot bring you flowers when I’m apologizing for a second time, not because tulips are currently out of season, but because a man shouldn’t do that when apologizing to the woman he loves.”

He let go of your hip to stroke a piece of your hair behind your ear before pressing his lips to your forehead, letting them rest there for a moment.

“I should give them to you just because I can,” he murmured against your skin.

As Jake pulled back from you, he reached down to the side pocket of his flight suit against his thigh, his hand a firm fist as he pulled out something attached to a balled chain.

“So, I can’t ask you to forgive me, Elizabeth. Or even to wait for me. I don’t know what will happen when I am gone. Or if I’m worth accepting an apology from.”

He grabbed your wrist gently, pulling it up between the two of you, only to press something metal into your hand. But rather than let go, he threaded his fingers through yours, keeping the object between the palms of your hands, the chain dangling between.

“But if you can still find it in your heart to trust me, trust me when I say I want you and Sadie in my life. It’s you two or nothing at all,” he croaked, before adding, “I broke my ways for a literature-loving bartender and her ten-year-old niece because they both chose me knowing I am probably the most flawed human being, besides that asshole, ever to grace their path.”

You sobbed at that.

“If I make it back…” he trailed off. You shook your head vehemently. “When you make it back…” You corrected him. Yet, a small part of you died inside when he gave you a hesitant, bittersweet smile.

“I want you to tell me your answer then.”

Jake let go of your hand, leaving behind and revealing a pair of worn dog tags, making you gasp.

“I want these to stay with you until then. So you know I’m with you. Always.”

"Jake.. I can't.." you stuttered.

He ignored you, grabbing them from your hand to grab the chain in both hands. “They’re my first pair. My current set is in my bag.”

Watching him lift and guide the chain over your head, the protest dies on your lips. The intimate act brought him close enough to feel his breath on your face. The weight of the dog tags was a new feeling on your sternum.

"You know, in basic, they scare the hell out of you with these," he said, grabbing one of them and holding it between you. "Tell you that if you crash and burn, these are the bits they use to ID whatever's left."

He glanced away, eyes briefly distant. "They find you, leave one tag, take the other." He shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. "Guess it's also their way of grounding you, reminding you of what’s at stake."

You stared at the tags between the two of you, gulping hard. 

"For me, giving you them is... it's not just some sentimental crap. It's me leaving a bit of myself with you, no matter what happens." 

Your breath hitched, and as he dropped the tag, a new weight was placed on your chest. The fog around you seemed to grow thicker, and if you didn't know any better, you would have blamed it for constricting your breath. 

You swallowed hard, trying to find your voice. "Jake, I... I haven't... I haven't fully dealt with losing her," you whispered, trembling.

"I know you haven't, darlin'," he mumbled, wiping away another stream of tears on your face. "And I'm only adding another burden to your plate." 

Jake leaned forward to press another kiss to your forehead before peering down at your face, taking in the sheer devastation. He caressed your bottom lip, huffing affectionately, “I guess it's only fair. I broke your heart. You need to break mine, too.”

“Jake…” 

As you reached out, your voice was soft, barely above a whisper. Your hands moved around to his back, sliding up against his shoulder blades. He was tall and broad. And as you tried to pull him into you, your arms didn't stretch enough. You wanted to hold to so many parts of him, latch on in hopes he wouldn't leave you so soon. 

You don't know how long you stood like this, on your porch in the fog, holding on to each other. It took you a while, but you eventually realized the two of you started to sway in a silent rhythm, back and forth gently. 

The action was so reminiscent of the night he drove you home. When he found you closing by yourself and swept you into his arms - before everything became so chaotic. 

It makes you look back on every memory with him, like a film reel in vivid technicolour. 

Water and Sand, a Mona Lisa smile. Math homework and Sadie's cheeky smile. Yellow flowers in apologetic hands. Dirty dishes and clean slates. A game of darts and an almost kiss. Walking next to mountains and trees. Poloarids, video chats, and scary moments. Fireworks on New Year's Eve, to a slow dance in safe arms. 

Thunderstorms and Sadie's tears to passionate kisses. First dates, Ferris wheels, Sadie in the hospital, and Jake catching your tears. Bradley lashing out, and Jake standing by. 

Purple blues and orange-reds, the sunset colours that made you cry for your sister for the first time since you don't remember when. 

Looking back on what was leaves you wondering what will be. 

Jake's voice cuts through the silence, faintly humming a Chris Stapleton song. Your voice is muffled against his chest. "I wanted to take you to a country concert for a date."

You felt him smile against the top of your head. "Would you have let me pick you up and put you on my shoulders?"

You huffed affectionately into the fabric of his suit, turning your head to rest your cheek against his chest. “Oh, people would have hated us for that.”

He laughs quietly. “I’m sure you would have come up with something sharp and witty to reply with.”

“Enough to get us thrown out?”

“I could always pull the military service card.”

“Don’t you dare.”

Jake chuckled softly into your hair.

The two of you stayed like that for a while, swaying on your front porch under the green-lit fog. Not that you would have noticed. You were too busy trying to imprint this into your memory. How he felt holding you, how he smelled, the sensations in your chest. Or how his heart felt beating under your ear.

Until the alarm on his watch ruined it all, and he stepped away from you, pressing another long kiss to your forehead. You felt him grimace each time he tried to pull away.

"I have to go, darlin'," he murmured. "I have to report in 30. Otherwise, I'd drag you inside and abandon my post."

I would have let you.

As Jake lets you go, you reach out to grip the railing again. Before he turns to leave, he says with a smile, "Send me letters if you can."

Watching him proceeding down your front steps, your heart ached in a way it never had before. Your hand moved to the dog tags, gripping them tightly. 

The idea of losing Jake, never seeing that cocky grin or hearing his sarcastic quips again, was paralyzing. But even more terrifying was the thought of him leaving without knowing how you truly felt.

If he were to... no.

You couldn't wait. You couldn't let him leave with things unsaid. The fog outside was thick, and Jake's form was about to become a silhouette in the distance, but you wouldn't let him leave without knowing.

"Jake!"

Running down the steps of your porch, you flung yourself towards him. He spun, eyes wide as you reached for his face, hands cradling either side of his jaw as you pulled him down, pressing your lips to his.

You put everything into that kiss, struggling to breathe, fearing you would lose him before you could ever truly be with him. Jake wrapped his arms around your waist, moulding his lips to yours. And with each press, you commit them to memory, pushing away the thought this may be the last time you could.

You were already struggling to grasp the death of someone you loved. You couldn't survive a second.

Jake always kissed you like he was a man starved of affection. This time, he was holding himself back, hands deliberately resting lightly on your hips, unmoving and researching. His kisses were less than firm, hesitant against your more urgent ones.

It gave you the strength to continue pressing on.

You pulled back with a gasp, looking him square in the eyes. "You don't get to do that. You don't get to tell me you love me and expect me not to say anything. Not to call you out for your shitty perception of yourself when you, Jake fucking Seresin, are worth it."

You can feel the heat on your cheeks and more tears running freely down the sides of your face.

"I do forgive you,“ you rushed out in a breath. “I forgive you for all your faults and everything you will ever do to me, whether you are Jake Seresin or fucking Hangman. Life is short, and... and.. if I woke one morning to find you were gone,  I would never find the strength to carry on had you not known that I lo.."

Jake didn't let you finish, quickly grabbing the sides of your face to kiss you roughly, all open mouth and tongue. You whimpered into his mouth, struggling to breathe and to keep up with the onslaught.

He bent you backwards, your back curling around the sudden added weight of his arm. You tugged on his flight suit in a desperate attempt to pull him closer to you as he attacked your mouth. His fingers were locked deeply into the roots of your hair behind your ear, angling your head just right so he could capture your lips in all the ways he wanted to. In all the ways he might never have the chance to do again.

Jake considered himself selfish. For most of his naval career, he had been selfish. But he never truly felt the weight of that feeling until he was trying to memorize these last moments with you. As if this was all he would ever get to have with you.

It was selfish to do this to you. To kiss you one last time.

Your body is warm under his touch. He tries to imprint the sensation.

Your kisses are firm. He tries to akin the taste.

Your grip on his suit is tight. He tries to remember the pain it creates.

Your whimpers and moans. He tries to imagine they’d be exactly what you’d sound like if he’d ever get the chance to be with you. Truly.

Or if they’d be enough to sustain his dreams.

He knows he needs to go. Needs to pull himself away from you before the next kiss, or the next touch is the one that convinces him to stay. So he tugs away first, and you chase his lips, whining at the loss of contact.

"Tell the bug she was right," it's a whisper against your lips. "And I'm sorry I disappointed her too."

Your bottom lip quivered as Jake finally wrenched himself away from you with a deep grunt. He climbed into his truck and started the engine, backing out of your driveway like a man possessed. As if one slight moment of hesitation or if he looked away from the task at hand and saw your face, he’d drag you back inside the house and lock the two of you away in your bedroom.

He would have if there were more time.

Your footsteps against the pavement were muffled in your ears as you followed his truck. You couldn't bring yourself to look away, even when you found yourself frozen at the end of your driveway, watching his red taillights fade into the fog.

And when you finally found the courage to move, absentmindedly walking back up your driveway, up your front steps to close the front door behind you, you fell against it. Your back pressed hard into the grooves and ridges as you collapsed to the floor. Your tears were falling freely, and the sobs racking your chest were each more devastating than the last. You heaved for each breath, trying to gather the strength to do anything but cry.

For Jake.

For Bradley.

For Sadie.

For Ridley.

...For yourself.

After working the heels of your hands into the corners of your eyes, you grasped for the dog tags, looking down at the worn-out pieces of metal in your palm. You could still make out his name and call sign imprinted on the surface, a finger tracing over the imprinted ridge.

The damn things were both a reminder he was still out there and could never return. A reminder he couldn’t promise more sunsets with you. A reminder there was a chance you'd never get to tell him you loved him, too.

You pressed your fingers to your lips, the other clutching his dog tags over your heart.

Come back to us, Jake.

Please.

Tag List:

@blue-aconite @tinytotontheoversizedpony @djs8891 @caitsymichelle13 @startrekfangirl2233

@mayhemmanaged @ereardon @dempy @shanimallina87 @teacupsandtopgun @daggerspare-standingby

@phantomxoxo @formulapierre @eli2447 @fulla02 @blckgrl-sunflower @mizzzpink @ohgodnotagainn

@bubblegumbeautyqueen @sarahsmi13s @desert-fern @lynnestra44 @memoriesat30 @penwieldingdreamer @mxlanciia

@bradleybeachbabe @bobby-r2d2-floyd @lavenderbradshaw @roosters-girl @lovinglyeternal @kmc1989 @gigisimsonmars @dakotakazansky @startrekfangirl2233

@keyrani @craftytrashprincess @hisredheadedgoddess28 @abzidabzy@memeorydotcom @vicsnook @taestrwbrry

Part 19 - An Evening I Will Not Forget is being edited 👀

Wickett ;)

[maydayblake]

Hey, can you where the reader is a little sister of vance hopper? And he is very over-protective for her. He always mocks her but deep down he really love his sister. He hates when she talks to other boys. She is just apposite of his brother. She is too friendly with everyone. She is in the same class where finn and robin are. And she has a crush on robin. Vance always protects her from bullies. He once broke a hand of a boy because he tried to bully his sister. ( he is just like gyutaro from demon slayer).

I hope you will write about this. I am sorry for my bad English. It's not my first language.

Protective ( Vance Hopper X Sister!Reader, Robin Arellano X Hopper!Reader )

Includes : Bullying, Brother/Sister Relationship, Teasing And Etc...

Genre : Fluff And Little Bits Of Angst

" Get up dipshit ", Vance trows a pillow at me as I groan, turning around in my bed.

" Come on, we don't have all day ", he growls out, dragging me out of bed.

" Can you leave me alone, it's Saturday ", you get up from the floor, rubbing your eyes, as your brother Vance stares at you with crossed arms.

" Do you wanna see him or not, remember I can easily tell about your crush- ", you hit him with a pillow as you go to your wardrobe, picking out an sundress.

He hated that you talked with boys and especially Robin. But he knew he couldn't do anything because she's her own person. And he respected that. But it still didn't stop him from sending glares towards them when Robin got too close.

" If he hurts you I'll break his arm, you know I'm always watching ", he turns around and leaves the room, going to Grab N Go, to play his stupid pinball stuff. I don't get it, why's he so obsessed.

Anyways. As I finished getting ready, I put on a bit of mascara, lipgloss and left the house to meet up with him.

He asked me to hang out yesterday, and I couldn't be happier. Even if it's as friends.

Finney teased me when he heard about it, and I had to smack him to shut him up. Obviously not with the intend to hurt him, just as a joke.

And as I was walking 3 girls came up to me, glaring.

" Uhh can I help you? ", you stopped walking, as you stared at the ginger haired girl.

She slowly walked towards me, before pushing me on the ground. I hiss as I landed on a rock.

" Stay away from Robin or else.. ", she threatened, I just stared up at her. Finally after 3 minutes of complete silence I spoke.

" Or else what? He's his own person, he can hang out with who he wants, and you can't stop me ", I try to reason with her. She just laughed before the two other girls came behind me and grabbed my arms.

" What the- GET OFF ", I scream as I start kicking around. The girl just smirked at me before kicking me in the stomach. I groaned in pain. She kept kicking and kicking, and just as she was about to punch me. With her hand raised she was stopped.

She looked behind her to see Vance, standing there glaring daggers at her.

" Stay the fck away from my sister, or else... ", he threatened. The girl shook in fear as she nodded relentlessly.

He let go of her hand, and her and her minions ran away. I was laying on the ground groaning in pain. He kneeled down.

" You okay? What'd they want? ", he looked genuinely worried. I just gave him a small smile as he helped me stand up.

" They thought I was someone else, I'm fine... ", I lied, he just raised his eyebrow, not believing me.

He knew I was a soft person, if someone hurt me, I'd still want to protect them. That's what he hated most about me. The fact that we are polar opposites.

Vance would not hesitate to punch someone for messing up his game. And you - you wouldn't hurt a fly even if you wanted to.

He didn't push it any further as to not upset her. He just gave her a small nod and started walking with her to where Robin was standing. To make sure no one came up to her with the intend to hurt her anymore.

And as soon as they arrived, he gave him a glare and left.

Robin smiled at her, sending butterflies to her stomach.

" You ready to go? " he asked the girl. She just nodded and then they we're on their way.

She groaned a few times, probably the bruises forming from where she was punched but she didn't say anything.

Robin noticed.

" You okay? Did something happen? ", he asked the girl as he stood in front of her, taking her hands.

She just stared at him. Finally she nodded, giving him a smile. Trying to convince everything was fine.

" I know you better than that Y/N, was it those girls? ", so he knew them?

" Yeah, but it's fine, I handled it ", I lied, and by the looks of his face, you can see he didn't believe me one bit.

" Amber likes me, she confessed to me a week ago, and I rejected her. I guess she didn't take the hint. Look, if she hurts you again, come to me, I'll handle it ", he spoke softly as he laid his hands on my shoulders. Staring into my eyes.

" You're not gonna hurt her are you? ", he laughed before shaking his head.

" I don't hurt girls, I'm not like that. But I'll talk to her, make sure she gets the hint this time, like I said, I got it covered. ", I smiled at him as a thank you. He took my hand in his and we walked off.

[arcane-vagabond]

Sailor-Aviator's Playlist Writing Challenge

Hello, hello!! Welcome back to another writing challenge! This one also had a lot of votes in the poll I posted, so I figured why not go ahead and release it?

The Concept

I have what some might call an eclectic music taste. What does that mean? I like a bit of just about everything! So, I compiled a list of songs from my playlists that I thought might make good fanfic inspiration! As with my Christmas Challenge, there will be a limited number of spots for each song! Just send me a DM/ask telling me which song you'd like to choose and for which Top Gun character you'd like to write for!

The Rules

You may sign up for more than one slot as long as there are slots available. However, you can not take up two slots for the same song.

Tag your fics appropriately! (Angst, smut, fluff, warnings, etc.)

18+ ONLY!

This can be a series, a one-shot, moodboards, or even a collection of drabbles! Just have fun with it!

You MUST use your song in some way in the fic. For example, if your song is Two Doors Down by Dolly Parton, then you could write about going to a party or about being a Dagger's neighbor.

HAVE FUN!!!

This writing challenge will not have a time limit, and you can sign up whenever you want! When you are finished (or started the series/collection), you can shoot me the link so I can tag it below. Also, please tag me in the fic and tag the challenge! The more the merrier! Now, there are some popular artists on here, but I encourage EVERYONE to listen to ALL the songs before making your decisions!! I will add more songs if I need to as well!

Tagging a couple of mutuals who I think would be interested: @goldenseresinretriever @bobgasm @mamachasesmayhem @hangmansgbaby @jupitercomet @seresinhangmanjake @number-0-iz

The Playlist

Songs below the cut!

Two Doors Down by Dolly Parton

@aworldinsideaperson w/ Jake Seresin

@alegendoftomorrow w/ the Dagger Squad

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Ends of the Earth by Lord Huron

alegendoftomorrow w/ Bradley Bradshaw

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Work Song by Hozier

@devil-angel-winchester w/ Bradley Bradshaw

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Darling by Halsey

@goldenseresinretriever w/ Tom Kazansky

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The Death of Peace of Mind by Bad Omens

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Stolen by Dashboard Confessional

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Youth by Troye Sivan

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Get on the Road by Tired Pony

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Littlething by Jimmy Eat World

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The Saltwater Room by Owl City

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Enchanted by Taylor Swift

@shinycupcakebaker w/ Bob Floyd

@seresinsbrat w/ Bradley Bradshaw

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Georgia by Vance Joy

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I'll Be by Edwin McCain

@powellssugarbaby w/ Jake Seresin

@sweetwhispersofchaos w/ Bob Floyd

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Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benatar

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New Religion by The Heydaze

@aworldinsideaperson w/ Bradley Bradshaw

alegendoftomorrow w/ Jake Seresin

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She Burns by Foy Vance

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Shrike by Hozier

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Dancing With the Devil by Short Stack

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Like Real People Do by Hozier

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Shut Up and Dance by WALK THE MOON

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Bright by Echosmith

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Someone to You by BANNERS

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WILD by Troye Sivan

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Stay With Me by ayokay

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Iris by Jada Forcer

goldenseresinretriever w/ Tom Kazansky

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Sunshine by Short Stack

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Tell Her You Love Her by Echosmith

aworldinsideaperson w/ Bradley Bradshaw

alegendoftomorrow w/ Bob Floyd

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Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac

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Too Late to Turn Back Now by Cornelius Brothers and Sister Rose

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Leather and Lace by Stevie Nicks

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Mine by Taylor Swift

@bellaireland1981 w/ Bradley Bradshaw

alegendoftomorrow w/ Bradley Bradshaw

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Landslide by Fleetwood Mac

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Burn You Down by Short Stack

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Jolene by Dolly Parton

@dingochef w/ Jake Seresin

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Pretty Carolina by Jontha Links

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Sleep on the Floor by The Lumineers

aworldinsideaperson w/ Bob Floyd

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Style by Taylor Swift

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Out of the Woods by Taylor Swift

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You and Me by Lifehouse

@bobgasm w/ Bob Floyd

seresinsbrat w/ Jake Seresin

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Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac

aworldinsideaperson w/ (TBD)

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[in3rci4]

Hi, can i get a tbp x male (or gn) reader that is new in town and they're the same age as the tbp boys but only looks older since they're taller and a bit more muscular than them. They don't speak English but understand it.

Thanks, have a great day/night

Thank you for sending a request <3 , I'm thankful you gave me the GN ! Reader because I feel it's the most comfortable one to write , I hope you also have great day / night too buddy !

〰️THE BLACK PHONE BOYS X NEW IN TOWN READER 〰️

Characters included : Finney Blake ( Minus mention of Gwendolyn Blake ), Robin Arellano , Bruce Yamada , Billy Showalter , Griffin Stagg , Vance Hopper

Warning of following headcanons ¿? : The Black phone x reader characters content , since it was requested the reader will have a certain type of looks and doesn't speak English , slight angst ¿? , bullying , GN ! Reader , the reader does exercise , some characters may take longer to read than others , reader is good at mathematics ¿? , desk mates thrope sometimes ¿? racism , mute shaming , agression ¿?

FINNEY BLAKE

You were a new student in school and everybody talked about how old you look and that you're probably a repeater He believed it at first too

Except for the slightly notorious musculature in your body , you were pretty average at first sight , so yeah , you were someone new in town , but that's it

Until you get inside the classroom ( the same as Finney ) and tried to talk with the teacher about your situation since you wouldn't be able to be as participating as you wish since you can't speak English yet

Everybody started to laugh and mock your poor attempts , the teacher sushed the giggles down and explain that you're a foreigner but you're still understand everyone's words

You appreciated the gesture , but the damage was already done , now everyone's side eye and mean starting was even worse than before , and it's not like you can talk back either ...

If there's something worse than a hairy eyeball , is a entire class giving you that type of glare or giggling shamelessly in your presence

He felt bad for you , and since his table was the only left to sit on , you were his new desk mate now

" don't listen to them , at least you tried "

You smiled and he smiled back

He thinks you look really pretty when you smile .

The next minutes were free since the teacher got outside to talk with a parent , he told you that even if he's not that fan of participating , he could read the answers of your work if you wanted to , maybe teach you to speak English better

You wrote a note " Can you stop at my house after school tomorrow so you can teach me ? I'll pay you , don't worry "

You passed the note , Finney was going to grab his pen and write too , but instead he said :

" Yeah sure , if that's cool with you I'll go , and you don't have to pay me , I'm just helping , that's all "

Yeah .... That's was all ....

You smiled and moved your lips to say "Thank you " in silence

You got yourself a pretty handsome tutor , huh ?

Oh if Gwen didn't tease the hell of out him , but he couldn't stop smiling like a idiot , can you blame him though ?

Tomorrow it would just the two of you , and he'll hear your voice much clearly and appreciate it like he wants to

GRIFFIN STAGG

He was on the library reading " Pleasant Dreams : Nightmares " by Robert Bloch when he saw a shadow towering him , and when he lift his head up to see , he told you almost automatically by instinct that he doesn't have any lunch money

You frowned in confusion and shook your head , and pointed at the book

Now Griffin was the confused now , you're interested in what he's reading ? Or you're confusing the book with another one that school tells you to read as assignment ?

You weren't speaking , and neither him , wich was very awkward , so you decided to sit next him , take notebook out of your backpack and write in a teared page :

{ Sorry , I don't speak English but i understand it , you also had read it too ? It's really spooky and has a lot of cool stories }

So that was the reason you weren't speaking.... Interesting . Well , besides your looks you don't seem like a bad person , maybe he could try and write something too ?

{ I didn't finished it yet , I was just about to start the " Catnip " story , you read it before ? Do you like horror books ? }

You tossed that piece of paper around until it was full and you tore apart another page to keep the " conversation " , you both had a lot in common , and he didn't expected you to be the same age as him !

The time was over and you both needed to head to class , but surprise , surprise , you two shared classes !

When you two got your homework done of the day during class , you continued your paper writing until the class was over

Now how could he keep talking to you if he didn't have any papers to write anymore ?

Wait .... He can , but he needs to be one talking

Darn , he's not that much of a talker , or well , he never had the opportunity before

Guess he has to do an exception for you , huh ?

For the following time , he became your friend and extrovert one of the two so you don't lose interest in him

For the sake of your friendship , maybe if you want to , in the future something more

VANCE HOPPER

" New kid in town " , that was your nickname , "Pin Ball Vance Hopper " was his

But one day , your nickname changed , and that day was the day you met Vance at the Grab n Go

You were taking your time looking at the snacks on the shelves since you never tried them before and wanted to spend your money fairly , and then you felt someone pushed you out of the way

Disoriented , you tripped , and bumped into the Pin Ball machine , his Pin Ball machine

The kids on the mall gasped when they heard the sound of the score lowering down , like a rabid dog , he grabbed your arm and started to shake and yell you :

" You fucking piece of dumbass , you made me lose my game ! You know how many times I tried to beat that fucking score , huh !?"

You were so shocked that you couldn't even move or plead for some mercy over you , just stay there and look at him like a deer in lights

" So !? Speak ! Are you mute or what !?"

It was almost like your staring and silence was way worse than any insult that Vance has received , are you challenging him ? Are you waiting for him to throw a punch or an insult at you ? Why are you looking at him like that with those eyes ?

Then with a stuttered voice , you tried to say that you were sorry and that you were pushed against the machine by other people that no longer are on the mall in the best way you could mixing your language with english words

With a irritated sigh , he let go of your arm , but not before saying :

" You own me , remember that dip shit "

You went out of the mall almost running away , kinda relieved it didn't end in something worse

Then the next day , your first day in school , you found yourself in the same room as him , again , and the cherry of the cake , you were gonna be his desk mate

You avoided the slightest eye contact or accident that could happen so you didn't made him mad again , he was a short fuse even with the teachers that pissed him off

The mathematics exam day came and you were about to finish the whole thing in the first 10 minutes ( good thing that the mathematics are almost the same around the world ) , but in the corner of your eye you saw a puzzled Vance trying to figure out the content inside of that paper

And yeah ... He was an asshole , and you didn't need to risk your grades for him , but you owned him , right ?

When the teacher turned around , you touched his arm and silently pushed a little bit your exam to his side . He was confused at first , but the same eyes that stared at him in terror at the Grab n Go before , were telling him now to take the opportunity

Smirking , he noted your answers with the smart of a student that has cheated multiple times before , and then pretended to be frustrated by the exam a few minutes more for " extra credibility "

The very next day , when you both received A+ in your exams , he looked at your direction with hesitation

" Thanks for the A I guess , but why you did it ? "

You wrote in your notebook with his pen that was near by and showed it to him

" I owned you :) "

Since then , you started learning to throw hands with him and Vance to insult in your language , that was if he wasn't playing his adored Jungle Queen Pin Ball Machine with you by his side

Let's just say that your nickname changed to " the new in town kid " to " Vance's protected one" real quick

BRUCE YAMADA

He was the one assigned to guide you through school and he was excited to do so , he tried his best to make you feel at home because even if he's a very popular boy , he still understands the struggles of changing schools and being a foreigner

So he invited you to sit on his table , be on his team on P.E classes ( where your teacher jokingly told Bruce to watch out for the competition , although he understood this as a " This kid can be better than you " because of your body than " you have watch out for any other trying to steal them from you " way ) , go to his games , community reunions , etc

You liked his social and outgoing nature and appreciated his invitations and including in his group of friends , but you felt like a fish out of the water , you couldn't talk that much and you only listened and responded one or two questions that they had about you

Not only that , you felt like his friends weren't that fond of you , almost like they only tolerate you because of Bruce

Your theory was confirmed when Bruce invited you to a party and in the moment you were alone , they started to ask you passive aggressive questions like , " You also came here for easy jobs ?" " Your parents are immigrants too or one of them married an American to get free pass ?" " In your country people are quiet like you ?" " If you are able to understand us , then why you can't talk to us too , huh ?" " Do you talk at all or what ?"

Uncomfortable with their tone you tried to leave and tell Bruce however you could that you wanted to leave , but they didn't let you , and started to push you around in a circle while laughing that you couldn't tell them anything back while insulting you with all the names they had for your people

It wasn't until Bruce asked what's going on and put an arm around you in a comfort and assertive way that they stopped , Bruce told them that it wasn't cool to make someone feel that way for where they come from or their personalities , but they started to clap back racist insults and mute shaming you and you couldn't handle it anymore

He tried to find you inside and outside of the party , but you were already gone .

The next week on the hallway he grabbed your wrist gently asking you to go somewhere private , that it wasn't anything funny , just to talk about what happened that night on a empty art classroom that nobody uses

" Hey I'm really , really , sorry for what happened that night , I didn't know they were going to do that or say those things , I wouldn't let you alone or go to the party in the first place if I did . I just wanted to let you know that I don't share at all their opinions about you , nobody chooses where they come from or learns to speak a entire language in one day , if they can't understand that , then it's better for them to mind their business "

You nodded , but you were just not going to sit near him or his friends anymore , he seemed sincere on his apology , but a voice in the back of your mind was telling you to keep your distance , because maybe , just maybe , it was his idea all along

On the old local gym where the entrance money is cheaper than the modern one in town that everyone goes , you were exercising on your own trying to clear your mind and letting the stress in your body

Until you hear a familiar voice from behind you

" Hey , mind if take those dumbbells ?"

Is he following you ? You only nodded and continue to work out

" Hey , uh , do have a minute to talk ? Or well , listen ?"

You frowned but listened anyways

" I know that things have been awkward lately but... It's ok for you if we hang out somewhere else ? Just the two of us , no one else "

You thought about it for a second.... But damn if he wasn't cute and made you fell for his charm every single time

Bruce with time got closer and more comfortable to be open with you and vice versa , he recommended you an English tutor to help you speed up your pronunciation , started to invite you and only you to his house , plan " dates that weren't dates " until the rumours of you two going around became true

What can he say ? Athletic , smart , attractive and non judging , he felt free to be himself with you , and that , is something that the girls that were crazy over him could never do

That's why they and his old friends give you the hairy eyeball , but you couldn't care less about it

ROBIN ARELLANO

Robin was minding his business while looking inside his locker for that stupid mathematics book , but he noticed that the next locker on his right wasn't the same big dude with sweat smell anymore , but you , a new pretty face that seemed to like being in shape

Contrary of what students think , he's an awkward boy maybe that's why he gets along with Finney so well , and yes he had some street and fighting knowledge , but he wasn't a Casanova at all

So lost in his thoughts about what he could possibly do or say to look cool and start a chit chat with you , that he didn't notice that you were already gone

Carajo , you really don't like being late to class , huh ?

He damned himself for being too slow and headed to Mr Johnson's class

But , but , but , his locker " neighbor" was already inside , sitting right in front of his seat . Mr Johnson , being the energetic and hurried man that he is didn't waste no time in telling Robin to sit down to start the explanation

He didn't care to listen before , it was useless on his opinion because either way he wouldn't understand a thing , but since his grades are being under the line of average he needed to pay attention , but with you " blocking " the view , it was more difficult if only you weren't so cute to look on

Explanation over , class assignment was on , and you were the first one to finish it , and for everyone's surprise , Mr Johnson didn't find any mistake , so you were free until everyone finished their ones

But there's something that Robin noticed , and it's that you never speak in class or with anyone at all , maybe you're shy ? Perhaps mute ?

Well , he needed to find out . He touched your shoulder and tried to ask you how did you resolved everything in no time , you were hesitating in talking , so he thought that you being a shy was a thing , but then you started to slowly try to put English words together in a sentence , and then he understood everything

You are not only new in school , but also a foreigner . He then sighed and , without realizing , smiling at you while saying :

" Hey it's cool , chill , no need to try if you don't want to . You understand me , right ?"

You nodded and smiled shyly

" Ok , how about I speak , and you answer with yes or no until you learn a little bit to talk English , sounds good ? "

You nodded once again , and turned back with your cheeks burning from the blush . He's not that much of a talker , but he more than anyone knows how hard it is to go to school and not having English as your first language that's why he fails with fast talker teachers so why not befriend you and letting you know that he has your back ?

He skipped P.E before your arrive , but now , he's showing the hell off , every chance that he gets to prove how strong he is will be taken

He needs to climb a rope faster than any other kid in P.E ? Right on jumping to action . Need help with a heavy book or backpack ? Does the teacher want strong boys to move chairs and tables ? He's the first one to offer help

It's already obvious , or at least for the majority , that you being one of Robin's best friend crush makes you , even without you noticing it , untouchable , and whoever dares to touch you , would be in less than a week with a serious injury on their faces for testing your kindness and Robin's patience . Trust me , he will make sure they will stay visible for a long time for others that had the same thought back off

Finney catched the attentive attitude of his friend and started to help you learn English or other subjects that you both are having difficulties ( He has a love - hate type of relationship with being the third wheel , but he knows Robin would do the same for him , so he accepts it )

You shared your exercise routine and he loved it , well , he loved everything about you , the food you make , the music of your origin country , your language slangs , everything

Be patient , one day he'll loose the fear of ruining the friendship between you two and you'll be going around like lovers do

BILLY SHOWALTER

Thanks to his job he knows almost everyone in the neighborhood or at least recognizes their faces ( this last thing is the most common one )

Coming back home after finishing his route he saw you carrying a bag of groceries , he didn't recognize you , but didn't give it that much of attention until you fell down to the ground for tripping over a tiny little rock

He stopped his bike and ran in your direction to help , he tried to put back all the groceries but Harper started to lick them off while barking when she got scolded for it

He grabbed your arms and helped you to get up , unintentionally feeling your biceps and getting a little flustered but didn't showed it ( damn you must strong if you had those in your arms he thought )

Just a little clumsy , but he can't speak that much either , counting how many times he fell down his bike for one sec distractions

You put back what was left of groceries and thanked him in your language , he was surprised , he never heard anyone speak another language before outside English except on the TV , so he asked you to repeat yourself , not in a threatening way , he just wanted to hear again the words that you spoke

You repeated yourself , and he laughed in surprise , its so cool !

Even if you did what he asked you to , he didn't know that if you understood English completely

" Wait , you understand English , right ? like , everything in English ? Did you already tried one of our best America's stuff ? Do you listen american or british singers or ..? "

He never speaks that much , he's somehow someone reserved with his words but this time he was too excited to hold back , although he came back to himself when he realized he was being a little too much

He walked you home asking a you a lot of questions that you only answered shaking or nodding your head , giving advices that he thought would be useful to you , telling how nice the the neighborhood is , America's best traditions , food that you needed to try , movies , in general being excited to show off his love for the United States

Once you got inside waving your hand , he couldn't help to hop on his bike again and ride as fast as he could to his home and tell his family about you , he met a strong and cute foreigner for the first time today !

The times that he encounter you , now in a much calmer way , he would try to get to know you and your culture , so slowly you two got a cultural exchange , he inviting to his house and 4th of July festivals , carnavals , thanksgiving , you get it

And since he was nice to you and didn't mind you or your inability to speak English , with time he started to go to your house as well , your family jokingly making you embarrassed by saying you didn't waste time on finding a boyfriend

So in general , don't be afraid to be yourself around him , he would love to show you how great America is , and it's ok if you don't want to try everything that he says , as long as you still being friends with him , he's satisfied

Who knows , maybe one day you both could live the American Dream together

[tightjeansjavi]

Burning in a Hopeless Dream

Boston QZ : part 8 ‘Dust to Dust’

A/N: I sat down and wrote this all in one go. I literally could not stop writing. The words just kept flowing and this is just going to be one cluster fuck of emotions.

Summary: A winter blizzard has you and Joel trapped in the apartment together. You’re worried about Tess as she hasn’t been home in days. To calm you down, Joel suggests you have some whiskey with him.

~work count : 5.3k~

Warnings: age gap (m/c is 28) angst, trauma, PTSD, triggering themes, drinking to cope, graphic mentions of death, loss, child death, angst, lots of swearing, repressed feelings, unestablished relationship, mild violence, emotional trauma, angry outbursts, feelings of guilt, pain, comfort, soft ! joel, feelings of agony, angry ! joel (+18) minors dni !

Songs for this chapter :

“Dust to Dust” by The Civil Wars

“my tears ricochet” by Taylor Swift

“I’m with You” by Vance Joy

“After the Storm” by Mumford and Sons

“evermore” by Taylor Swift

“Rescue” by Lauren Daigle

“Sign of the Times” by Harry Styles

___________________

December 24th 2020 : Boston QZ

Winter was already proving to be unforgiving this year. The Boston QZ had been hit with a 4 day blizzard. It was like something out of the movies. You weren’t even sure how many feet of snow had fallen already. The wind was howling and the blowing snow was creating a thick wall. Opaque and ferocious, this blizzard had enveloped the city into darkness. Tess had gotten caught up in the storm days ago. Joel insisted that she head home with him before the storm worsened but she had something to finish. Rather, someone. He trusted his partner enough to find shelter if things turned for the worst so he had headed home. Tess was too tough to let some snow take her out. She had managed to seek shelter elsewhere with a few other QZ residents that were waiting out the storm.

It was just you and Joel in the apartment now. He showed no signs of concern if Tess had survived the brunt of the storm. He was the most relaxed you had seen him in months. He was laying on the couch, his head resting comfortably against the pillow with his arms crossed over his chest. His broken watch is facing towards you. He wasn’t exactly asleep, just resting his eyes.

You were sitting on the floor across from him, your back against the wall with your nose buried deep in a book. It was the only viable distraction for you to not think about Tess, and her chance of survival. The book you were reading was titled, “Wuthering Heights” by Emily Brontë. The pages were worn and some were even torn. You appreciated the foot notes that the previous owner had left. You could tell whoever owned this book, adored it deeply. You wondered if that person had made it out alive, and if they did, did they miss this book as much as you imagined them to? You found yourself enveloped in the story of Catherine and Heathcliff. A tragic romance nonetheless. You would describe their love as being soulmates. Their love existed on a higher, spiritual plane. Two people who have an affinity for one another. This affinity draws them together, irresistibly. You recount all the times Heathcliff refers to Catherine as his soul. His fucking soul.

Heathcliff reminds you of Joel, in some aspects. It’s their broodiness, you first thought. Their passion for the ones they love. Heathcliff was dealt challenging hands, yet his love for Catherine was undeniable. He was cruel, vindictive and he sought revenge. You didn’t think Joel carried these traits. Or perhaps, it was your heart trying to convince you that Joel Miller was a good man. You stop at the part where Heathcliff finds his Catherine on her death bed. The words he has spoken are chilling.

‘You teach me how cruel you’ve been-cruel and false. Why did you despise me? Why did you betray your own heart, Cathy? I have not one word of comfort–you deserve this. You have killed yourself. Yes, you may kiss me and cry and wring out my kisses and tears. They’ll blight you– they’ll damn you. You loved me-then what right had you to leave me? What right- answer me for the poor fancy you felt for Linton? Because misery, and degradation, and death, and nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have parted us, you of your own will, did it. I have not broken your heart-you have broken it- and in breaking it, you have broken mine. So much worse for me, That I am strong. Do I want to live? What kind of living will it be when you- oh, God would you like to live with your soul in the grave?’ You slammed the book shut. It was too much and you decided then that Heathcliff was a monster. Your Joel was nothing like him. You couldn’t imagine him acting like this, speaking to Tess, or you on your deathbed in this fashion? You hadn’t realized a stray tear had rolled down your cheek and when you felt it, you quickly wiped it away. Heathcliff’s undying love for Catherine turned him cold, unforgiving, and violent.

The sound of the book slamming shut was enough for Joel to open his eyes, turning his head slightly to look over at you. He had a deep frown on his face. Had you been crying? He had seen you wipe the tear away.

You had set the book down to the side then, pushing it far away as you processed what you had just read. You hadn’t even noticed that Joel was awake now. That he had seen you wipe a tear. You were too consumed in Catherine and Heathcliff to notice.

You turned your head to the side, resting it against the wall and you listened to the howling wind. Finally, you spoke. “Joel? Are you awake?..”

He closed his eyes then, breathing in through his nose and exhaled softly before he slowly sat up. “Yeah, Doll.” He rasped. “I’m up. ‘You alright over there?” His Texas accent was thick, and it melted through your body like warm whiskey. Coating your senses in a figurative blanket. Warm, and familiar.

“Is Tess going to be alright? It’s been days and the storm hasn’t let up and what if she–”

He cut your ramblings off then.

“Gwen. Take it easy, breathe. She’s g’nna be alright. It’s Tess. She ain’t gonna let some snowstorm take her out.” He was looking at you then but your eyes were still trained on the window.

“Hey, look at me. Gwen?” His voice was soft but his tone held some urgency. He didn’t want you worrying your mind over things that were out of your control.

Slowly, you looked over at him. His brown eyes were soft, and inviting.

“You gotta trust me when I tell you that she’s g’nna be fine. Trust me.”

You nodded then. Appreciating his reassurance in that moment because truthfully, you were absolutely terrified for Tess’s safety.

“Good girl.” He placed his hands on his knees as he slowly rose from the couch and his footsteps headed into the kitchen. Your eyes followed his back, watching him.

“Where are you going?..”

He paused then. Turning to face you. He had never seen you this way before. You looked so fragile, so delicate unlike your normal sarcastic self. Where was that part of you now? In that moment, he missed your smart mouth, your banter and witty remarks.

“Nowhere, Doll. ‘Jus g’nna grab some whiskey and a couple glasses. You look like you could use a drink.”

You let out a sigh of relief. Rationally, you knew there was nowhere for Joel to go. Your fear was eating away at you, bit by bit. Fear was clouding your sense of rationale and you didn’t know how to control it.

He returned to you then. Sliding a glass onto the coffee table and poured a splash of the amber liquid into it. He motioned you over then before he sank down into the couch once more and poured his own glass. “C’mon. We’re gonna take our minds off of the situation that we can’t control, alright? Drink with me, Doll.”

You watched as the liquid splashed into your glass before you had scooted over to the coffee table. Sitting down on the other side of it, facing him with your elbows resting on the worn wood. You picked up the glass then, swirling the liquid around. Before you could take a sip, Joel had leaned over the table, his glass outstretched to you and his eyes focused on yours. You followed his motion and clinked your glasses together before you brought the rim of your glass to your lips and took a sip. The whiskey tasted like how you imagined Joel’s kisses did. Smoky, sweet, and absolutely fucking addicting.

“I see why you enjoy this stuff.” There was a hint of a smile over the rim of your glass.

“Yeah?. It ain’t half bad. ‘Nothin like the stuff I used to drink back in Austin. Some of the best whiskey I have ever had was from Texas. Would never say that outloud to any Kentuckians, they’d probably shoot me on the spot.” He chuckled a little then as he took a sip, far larger than yours.

You stifled a laugh then, shaking your head at his comment.

“Well, it’s a good thing there’s no Kentuckians around to hear your blasphemy, huh?”

He nodded then, holding his glass between his knees, against his thigh comfortably as he looked at you.

“Yeah, thank fuck for that. I think they’re just afraid to admit that Texas just does everything better.”

You took another sip then, this one bigger. You wanted to feel the familiar burn in your stomach.

“Easy there, cowboy.”

He raised his eyebrow at you then. “Mmm. It's alright, Doll. You Chicagoans wouldn’t understand good whiskey if it slapped ya in the face.”

He brought his glass back up to his lips, smirking over the rim at you.

“Ohh. I see how it is. Well, fine. You may have the best Whiskey, but we have deep dish Pizza, and a fucking gigantic, BEAN.”

Joel let out a deep chuckle then, shaking his head as he took another sip. The liquor was already warming him up in a physical sense, but you were warming his soul without even realizing it.

“Deep dish pizza sounds like a fuckin heart attack on a damn plate. The ‘hell is someone supposed to do with a giant bean?”

You laughed then. It was a small one but it was undeniably, your sweet laugh.

“Oh, it WAS a heart attack on a plate man but god, it was so good! Friday nights were our order out nights and we used to get Lou Malnati’s like, every other week? Shit was so good, Joel. The cheese was endless and the crust? It was so buttery and flakey. Melted in your mouth. As for the bean, you don’t do anything with it! It’s just Chicago's most famous landmark. Serious tourist attraction. If you didn’t visit the BEAN, you weren’t doing Chicago justice.”

He took another sip then as he listened to your laugh, your voice as you recounted a memory of the past. “I’m sorry Doll, but endless amounts of cheese sounds like a terrible fuckin time to me. This so-called BEAN sounds interesting though. I’ll give you that.”

“If you're lactose intolerant then that insane amount of cheese is most definitely, NOT a good idea.”

He took another sip then and he was enjoying the fact that you were comfortable enough to talk about these things and he hoped that in doing so, you weren’t thinking about the storm any longer.

“So Chicago has heart attack pizza, and a giant bean. Anything else I should know about it?”

You paused then. Recounting your 11 short years in the city like it was just yesterday. There was so much more you had wanted to see and experience.

“I um, I only lived there till I was eleven. On outbreak day, my family and I headed north. As far north as we could go. My uncle had a horse ranch in Michigan. It was close to the Canadian border. I stayed there till I was 20.” You had taken a big sip of the liquor then. This was the first time you had ever spoken about your experience when the world as you knew it came to an end.

Joel was frozen on the spot. Your confession was not something he had been expecting and it hit him like a ton of fucking bricks that you were only a year younger than Sarah when she– he polished off his glass then. Chucking the liquor down his throat, and pouring himself another shortly after. He splashed a bit more into your glass as well.

“I’m sorry Doll. We don’t have to talk about this stuff. I don’t wanna go and make you upset or anythin.” He was careful with his choice of words and the tone he used. He could tell just by your demeanor, that this was a sensitive topic for you.

In response, you took a bigger sip of the whiskey, waving your hand slightly and shaking your head. “No, Joel. It's fine. Really. I want to talk about it, if that’s alright? I just–this is the first time I have spoken to anyone about it.”

He nodded then and rested the glass against his thigh once more. “Sure we can talk about it, Doll. Whatever makes you comfortable, alright? So, the horse ranch that your uncle owned, what was it like?”

This was a side of Joel that you never thought you’d see. He was so gentle, so understanding and this is why your comparison of Joel to Heathcliff, was false.

“Oh, it was wonderful. I’d go up there every Summer for a few months. The first time I was on a horse was when I was 7. Had been around them since I was a little thing, according to my mom. Anyway, my uncle bred Quarter Horses. You have those in Austin, right?”

He nodded then.

“We had a few Mustang’s as well. Rescued them from a kill pen down south. Some other livestock as well. There was one quarter horse that was my absolute favorite. Her name was Honey. She was a Palomino with the softest dappling. She was the sweetest soul, Joel. I’d be mucking out stalls, doing my usual chores and she’d just follow me around. We were best friends. She taught me so much and–” You paused then, tears beginning to well in your eyes at the memory.

Joel set his glass down on instinct and leaned over the table, gently grabbing your soft hands in his larger ones. “Hey. Hey, Gwen. ‘It’s alright. You’re okay Doll, ‘m right here, okay? I’m right here.”

You sniffled a little then feeling a spark of electricity when he had ever so gently grabbed your hands. You could see the worry strike across his face as you had teared up.

“She died 5 years after the outbreak. I was sixteen then. Some raiders came through in the middle of the night that winter. Shot her and–most of the others. I was fucking devestated. Who the hell just shoots an animal, a pet like that, Joel? Then I remembered that all morals were lost after the outbreak. No one gave a shit about a fucking horse.” You spat the last part out. You had lost so much after the world ended and Joel had no idea just what you had to endure to survive.

His hands gently squeezing yours was enough to bring you back down to reality. You took notice of his thumbs rubbing soothing circles into the back of your hands. His knees were pressed firmly against the coffee table.

“Gwen, I'm so sorry about Honey. She sounds incredible. I’m sure your bond with her was unbreakable. Horses are incredibly intuitive creatures, ya know. She loved you Gwen, I'm sure of it.”

You let a few tears slip then from his affirmation. You couldn’t help it and Joel had let go of your one hand to gently brush your tears away. He found himself gently holding your cheek in his warm palm, stroking your cheekbone with his thumb.

“Yeah, you’re right. She did love me, and I still love her.” You subconsciously found yourself leaning into his comforting touch, your eyes closing momentarily as you took a deep breath and looked up at him, your eyes glassy.

“Joel, I’m not sure I can say much more.”

He nodded then, still gently holding your face, afraid that if he let go, you would shatter.

“That’s’alright darlin. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to, okay? Just, tell me if there’s anythin else I should be doing to comfort you.”

You grabbed your glass then, downing the contents quickly before you reached for the bottle of whiskey and poured more into your glass. The buzz coming on was definitely a slow fucking burn.

“After she died, things just started to get worse. By the time I was 20, our family members were being picked off. If it wasn’t infected, it was raiders or natural causes. It’s like we were plagued or somethin. We thought we were safe just from how remote the area was. We weren’t near any major cities or anything like that. We were practically out in the wilderness.”

You had a slight flush to your cheeks now from the amount of liquor you had consumed and before your brain could stop you, you were reaching up and brushing your fingertips against his plush lips. When you realized what you had done, your eyes had gone wide and you went to move your fingers but Joel had reached out and gently grabbed your wrist holding your hand in place.

“I’m sorry—I shouldn’t have.”

“Gwen, you’re okay. You don’t have to apologize for anything, okay?” He breathed out. Selfishly, he didn’t want your touch to cease. He was afraid that at any moment now you would pull away from him completely.

You watched with a drunk gaze as he gently set your wrist back down on the coffee table and you took another sip. Starting to feel the full effects of the whiskey taking place.

“Joel, tell me something about you, please. Anything. Doesn’t have to be super personal. Just, anything you feel comfortable with.”

Joel was a little stunned that you had wanted to know anything about him. He didn’t think you wanted to be close to him at all, in any sense.

“Alright, anything at all?” He cleared his throat then, recounting the years before the outbreak and what he missed the most, that wouldn’t give away too much about himself.

“I used to be a carpenter. My younger brother, Tommy was one as well. We’d take just about any job. Whatever pays the bills, right? I enjoyed it for the most part. The real bummer was the weird fuckin hours we worked but I enjoyed bein on my feet and having something to do.”

“You were a carpenter?” You slurred slightly, the rim of the glass was resting against your forehead gently.

“I was, yeah. Why? Do I not look like the carpenter type?”

You shook your head then, setting the glass down and pushed it far away.

“Took you more for the lumberjack type honestly.”

Joel chuckled then, he had gently released your hands from his grip then when he deemed you were mentally stable again and he leaned back against the couch, his arm resting along the back of it now, with his drink in hand.

“Coming from you, I’ll go ahead and take that as a compliment. Cause I’m sure that’s what you meant it as.”

You had 100% meant it more than a compliment but these were just your drunk words talking, right? You had the whiskey to use for an excuse.

“What do you miss most from the past? Or, what do you think about the most?” You asked.

Joel paused then as the conversation dipped back down into a heavier one.

“What do I miss the most?” ‘My daughter’, he thought to himself

He couldn’t tell you about Sarah. It was too soon, too painful of memories to bring up. If he told you about how his daughter died in his arms 17 years ago, he’d be opening up to you entirely. The thought of him doing this terrified him.

So he did what he did best, he lied. “A good, American style cheeseburger and a pack of cold ones, on ice.” he said as he took another long sip of his whiskey.

You laughed then, nearly snorting through your nose because that was the most Joel answer he could have given you.

“Are you fucking serious? A good American style cheeseburger and a pack of cold ones? Man, that was literally the most Texas thing I think you have ever said to me.”

“You bet your ass that’s what I miss the most, ‘darlin.” He winked then, for good measure. He was starting to feel his own buzz come on and his cheeks were looking flushed like yours.

Did he just fucking wink at you or were you really that drunk that you were hallucinating things now?

“You’re fuckin unbelievable, Miller.”

You polished off your glass then and by your slight sway as you sat on the floor, Joel could tell you had tipped over the edge a bit so he did the right thing and grabbed your empty glass and pushed it to the far side of the table along with the bottle.

“Can I get you some water or somethin, doll?”

You shook your head then, very slowly.

“Nope, I’m good, no water for me. Appreciate the offer though. can I—would it be alright if I came and sat by you?”

His eyebrow slightly raised in your direction and his heart fucking skipped a beat when you asked if you could come sit by him. Alcohol made you nervous, and ballsy at the same fucking time. What a dangerous combination.

He nodded then, patting the empty spot on the couch next to him.

You slowly rose from where you were sitting on the floor and made your way over to the couch, plopping down beside him with a thud. His fingers that were resting along the back of the couch were now lightly grazing your shoulder and he couldn’t help but gently grasp at your shirt, sliding the material through his fingers. He was so dangerously close now you could nearly taste the whiskey on his breath.

“You cold?” He asked when he noticed you shiver slightly, it was a different kind of shiver, the good kind.

“No. No. I’m good.”

He didn’t listen and reached behind him, grabbing the thick quilt and draping it over you gently then.

“If ‘m overstepping, just let me know. I’ve had this question on my mind for, well, let’s just say awhile. What’re all your tattoos mean? I’ve uh-seen a few, here and there.” His tone sounded nervous. Why was he nervous? It was just a simple, normal question after all. It was the close proximity that you were to him that was really tripping him up.

“Oh, you’ve noticed them, huh?” You had the tiniest smirk on your lips then as you looked at him. The alcohol made you all warm and fuzzy inside, but the way Joel was looking at you now, had the same effect. This one was even more intense.

You sat up then, rolling up the sleeves of your hoodie. You had an array of wildflowers on your forearm, above it on your bicep was a small horseshoe and when you turned your arm around, you had your zodiac sign written out, ‘Aries’ you then rolled your jeans up your ankle revealing a knife slicing through a rose. The biggest shock of all is when you had turned your back to him and slowly lifted the bottom of your sweatshirt. In the middle of your lower back, higher than a tramp stamp, was a single, delicate butterfly.

He nearly sucked in a breath at the sliver of exposed skin but you had turned around again before he had a chance to brush his fingers against it.

“The horseshoe means the most to me. Got it after Honey died. The rest of them were pretty much my fuck it, the world has ended and I’ve got nothing to lose, choices.”

“Well, I think they’re all pretty fuckin cool. Thought about gettin a few myself at one point but never pulled the trigger on it.”

“Damn.” You said, slightly disappointed. “You definitely could have rocked a sleeve or somethin, I bet.”

“There ain’t no way. You’re just being nice for nothin.” He chuckled.

“No, no! I’m serious. You’d look good.”

He cleared his throat a little then. “Where the hell did you manage to find someone to tattoo you in the middle of the fucking end of the world?”

“My cousin was actually a tattoo artist. He had to make his own tattoo gun from scratch but honestly, he did a good enough job for the materials he had.”

He nodded then.

“Well, if on the off chance we ever run into a tattoo artist in this god forsaken, shit hole of a world, I’ll get a tattoo.”

“Oh bull fuckin shit man, you won’t. You’re serious?” You totally believed that Joel was completely shitting you there’s no way he’d really go and do that.

“I’m dead serious. We find one and I'll get a tattoo. Swear on what’s left of my life.” Based off his tone alone, you could tell he really wasn’t bluffing so you grasped each other's hands, and shook on it.

“I’ll hold you to it, Miller.”

______

You weren’t sure how much time had passed with how easily your chatter together had flowed. You both found yourselves leaning in towards each other and his fingers hadn’t moved from the spot on your shoulder. The chemistry was undeniable. You just got on together so well and now it seemed like you both weren’t trying to fight it. You were just letting it happen.

There was always one question simmering in your mind. Why did Joel constantly wear a broken watch? You had no idea that asking him this question would have consequences. If you had known this, you would have never asked.

You couldn’t help it, the alcohol was still bubbling in your gut and you didn’t think it was a terrible question to ask. Boy, were you wrong.

“Joel? Why do you always wear that broken watch on your wrist?” It was just a question, a simple question. One that anyone would ask.

Joel immediately tensed up. As soon as, ‘broken watch’ slipped past your pretty lips, it was like it all came rushing back at once. Like he was constantly being knocked into a treacherous wave, gasping for air but never reaching the surface. A figurative knife had been twisted into his gut, sending white hot pain surging through his veins. His ears had started to ring as he recounted his baby girl's screams. The bullets whizzing past, her body tumbling into the dry grass. “C’mon baby girl, I gotta get you up.” The look on Tommy’s face as he watched his brother hold his dead daughter, clutched against his chest, sobbing.

He didn’t even hear you ask him if he was okay. He could hear her screams getting louder, and louder. The bullets, her body tumbling, her blood, lifeless eyes, Tommy, help me. The bullets, her body tumbling, her blood, the bullets. The bullets. The bullets. Her body—

“DON’T FUCKIN TOUCH ME!”

Joel’s sudden, loud and almost pained outburst, had you stumbling against the back of the couch, like a frightened animal.

“Joel I’m sorry— I didn’t know I’m sorry I should have never asked you.”

He looked over at you slowly then, his eyes were stinging with tears that he refused to let spill over and he couldn’t hold it back.

“Why do I fuckin wear this watch, Gwen? You really want to know?” He spat out.

“Joel no, it’s okay I don’t need to know I’m—”

“My dead fucking daughter gave me this watch on my 36 birthday, 17 fucking years ago. She went and got it fixed for me because she knew I’d never go and do it myself. She died bleeding out in my fucking arms and you wanna know what killed her?” He seethed.

“Not cordyceps.” “The fucking military shot her down, in my arms. THE FUCKING MILITARY SHOT US WHEN WE WEREN’T INFECTED. SHE HAD A TWISTED FUCKING ANKLE AND THEY SHOT HER!”

He yelled out, almost in a wail tone and he picked up the empty glass and threw it at the wall as hard as he could, it shattered into a million tiny pieces on impact. You were fucking stunned, and trembling now as his gaze hardened on you.

“So there you go. I hope that fucking answers your goddamn question.” He was breathing heavily, seeing red behind his eyes and when he saw you trembling, he wanted to laugh but instead, it came out more like a choked sob. This man was absolutely broken in front of you and all you could do was watch.

“She died in my fucking arms, on my goddamn birthday. You wanna know what I did after that, huh? Sweet Gwen?” He leaned towards you then, his tone was husky and low.

“I got my revenge on every single one of those motherfuckers. You wanna know how many men I killed, baby? How many innocent lives I yanked away? I’m a murderer, Gwen. I’m a fuckin cold blooded killer.”

“Even after all the bloodshed on my hands, it still wasn’t enough. There’s a massive fuckin hole in my heart that ain’t ever gonna be filled because she’s gone, she’s fuckin gone and she ain’t ever coming back. They took her from me.” He sobbed. “They took my beautiful fuckin baby girl from me!” He picked up the other glass and threw it at the wall in the same manner as the other and when he reached for the bottle, your hand had gently grasped his wrist, ceasing his movements.

“I said don’t fuckin TOUCH ME!”

“Joel.”

“Joel.”

“JOEL.”

“Joel. Listen to me, listen to me, please!” You pleaded, begging him to come back to you. It absolutely shattered you inside to see him like this. You felt so fucking guilty for asking him about the watch. This was all your fault, you said to yourself. All you’re fucking fault.

He was already pulling his wrist from your grasp, his breaths were shallow and his eyes were wide, and frantic.

You tightened your grip on his wrist then, your other hand reached out and grabbed his face, gently holding it between your fingers, the stubble from his beard was tickling the soft skin on your palm.

“Joel.” You spoke softer this time, hoping to ease him down from his trauma response.

“Joel, look at me, please. You’re okay. I’m right here. You’re okay.”

He met your gaze then, his skin had a slight sheen to it from the sweat building up on it and his lips were moving but no words were coming out. He was truly broken.

“You’re okay, Joel. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here.” You reassured him.

A few stray tears had spilled from his eyes and he was already trying to vigorously wipe them away. This was too vulnerable for him. This was too much. Too much for him to handle. Too soon. Too fast. Too everything.

He suddenly found himself grasping for you, breaking his wrist free, only to wrap his arms around you, nearly knocking the wind out of you from how hard he had hugged you. He hugged you like his life depended on it. He was afraid that if he let go, you’d disappear into thin air. His hard, rough exterior was melting away before your very eyes.

You gently found yourself grasping the back of his head, threading your fingers through his hair, feeling how soft it really was. He leaned into your touch, grasping onto your waist harder. You swore you’d have bruises left behind from how hard his fingertips were holing onto you.

“I’m right here. I’m right here, Joel. Always going to be here.”

You refused to let eachother go till you could feel his heartbeat return to normal, till his fingers loosened their grip around your waist. Soon his touch was gone all together and the couch felt cold and empty without his presence. All that was left was the smell of his whiskey, and a sizzled out flame, depleted of oxygen, dying in the pit of your soul.

You heard the bedroom door slam shut shortly after as you pulled your knees up to your chest, processing everything that had just happened.

One thing was for certain, nothing was ever going to be the same after tonight.

CHAPTER 9: