#vagina talk

[oh-my-damn]

Mandy is it possible if one is not mentally ready or stressed out and have anxiety and her private part got very tightening that not allowing penis to penetrate or it can be way to painful ? I have heard many time that there are few cases virgin girls are too stressed something that their partner can't penetrate and there are also few women who are sexually active and yet it's still painful for them.i tried to search it on google but I can't find anything useful.

Yes, it absolutely is, but it's not about tightening it's about dryness.

They can feel the same but tightening is not really a thing unless you're actually clenching your muscles (this can happen by you doing it yourself like kegles, or an intimate spot being hit, but the vagina doesn't tighten itself in situations of stress, as far as I know).

Dryness is very common, and can feel like the vagina tightening because it's not actually prepared or in the mood to be penetrated. The same way a vagina can expand very wide when you're extremely turned on or in other necessary situations, it can dry out when you're not.

Dryness in the moment is common. It usually happens (when you're young) if you're not turned on enough or properly prepped or prepared for what's happening. It should be mentally as well as physically prepared.

As you get older, your vagina dries out naturally due to hormones and menopause (nothing to be afraid of, it is completely normal, and if you don't like it, there are special lubes and medications built to help with it)

If you feel very very dry at all times (even when playing with yourself and not just with a certain partner) it could be a medical issue and they have medications and tools to help with that (it could even be dehydration. Or stress. Or depression. Our vaginas are extremely in tune with our bodies, so if you're going through shit, she is too. But extreme dryness warrants a visit to the doctor because it's normal to feel wet or moist at least a few times during your average day)

But if you feel dry during certain acts or with certain partners (in a way that feels unnatural) it may just be because they're not turning you on enough or you're not attracted enough to the person/the situation.

A possible helpful tip would be to focus on foreplay and communication; talk to your partner, let them know what you're into, and watch how your body responds. Some of us aren't even aware of our kinks or wants mentally, but the body will know and tell you. It's important to be in tune with your body's wants and needs when having sex, just as much as it is important to know your mental wants and needs.

Always make sure you feel safe and trust the person to a certain degree, because feeling scared or uncertain can also cause your body to react.

But no, vagina's in humans don't actually have a physical reaction that will retract or push something out when not wanted etc.

Cats do have that ability (lucky bitches) but unfortunately, humans do not. People very unfortunately also experience wetness during situations they do not want to be in. Which unfortunately can be very damaging, depending on the situation. So even wetness itself is not an indicator of actually wanting said act to happen. Being wet or getting wet does not necessarily mean you want to have sex.

You know in both your mind and body when you want to have sex. And hopefully, if you do not understand the clues, either one will let you know the truth. But don't mistake just one telling you yes to be a complete yes. Because in some cases, it might not be.

[bazzybelle]

Oh hey!

So I have this.

For the longest time, I was told by people that it's all in my head and that I'm overreacting... the usual dribble that vagina-havers are told.

Because of this, I never wanted to get a papsmear. I would put it off because the pain was too much that I'd be crying. Anyway, I go for a routine checkup, and my doctor looks at my records and notices that I haven't gotten one in a while. We talk about why, and he decides to take a look.

Not even a few seconds in, and I'm already wincing and in pain. He says, "That's not normal," and begins to question me about my pain and how severe it gets.

And friends... He believes me!

Not only that, but he sends me to a physiotherapist who helps me find solutions to not cure it entirely, but make it manageable.

Pelvic Floor Exercises! Look these up! Working on your pelvic floor can help better control the muscles and make relaxing them easier.

Once you've got that, you can start using small dilators to slowly stretch the muscles. There are even ways to do so with your fingers (or have a partner do it).

It takes a LOT of time and patience and upkeep, because even not doing them for two weeks, puts you back by a lot.

But there ARE ways to make things easier.

But yeah, to your original point, OP, this was NEVER mentioned... nor do people talk about it. It sounds made up, but it's a REAL thing. And it took ONE doctor our of MANY (including gynecologists who thought I was overreacting) to not only properly diagnose, but help me find a solution to help me.

We all know what erectile dysfunction is but literally no one is ever taught what vaginismus is and it can cause people to feel extremely lost, broken, and cause people to take their own lives. Raise. Awareness.

[scientia-rex]

Do you have any moisturization tips? :0

Oh DO I!

Listen, skin has two jobs: keeping you in, and everything else out. Skin has to do a lot of complicated stuff to make that happen. Skin is chock full of glands and pores and whatnot. There's dermis (deeper layer) and epidermis (shallower layer), and 99% of what we're doing from the outside is about the epidermis.

Epidermis grows in as layers--there's a bottom layer that has cells that will just keep dividing forever, and then the cells that divide off that layer will start getting pushed up towards the surface of your skin. As they get pushed up, the cells get flatter and more keratinized and eventually dead.

That "stratum basal" is where you have your forever-dividing cells. So when you start something like Accutane, you can't transform the skin layers above it--you can only start affecting the skin as it marches upward towards its death and flaking off, so you have to give it months to take full effect. And we NEED to have some dead skin. It protects us.

Skin cells have proteins that hold them to each other. The goal is to form a watertight barrier. We need to keep water in because we are basically bags of water. Different protein issues (largely genetic) can cause different skin diseases.

Our skin also has glands that make protective oils (forming a powerful anti-bacterial barrier and trapping moisture inside) and sweat (because we DO want to be able to get rid of water, but only when WE want to).

So here's the thing about commercial moisturizers: none of them can put moisture back in your skin. That's just not a thing. The very best thing they can do is keep further water from leaving your skin. This is especially important if you have eczema, where you stand a good chance (about 50%) of lacking ceramides, which are critical to forming the natural skin barrier. As water evaporates off the skin, it takes more water with it. We don't understand the other half of eczema. Psoriasis involves dysfunction of the keratinization process, which is why those plaques form.

So the best moisturizers are those that create a moisture barrier without evaporating more water off. Any moisturizer where alcohol is a significant ingredient is worthless. Vaseline, or straight white petrolatum, is the best moisturizer. It feels greasy because it is. Its job is to form a watertight barrier, and greasy chemical are a lot better at that than thinner, waterlike chemicals. Moisturizers with silicones, like Aveeno (dimethicone is the active ingredient--I know, the bottle says oatmeal, it's a liar), will provide a fairly robust barrier without as greasy of a feeling. Lanolin, from sheep's wool, is also a great ingredient for forming a barrier, which is why I like Neutrogena Norwegian Formulation. Natural oils like jojoba (the best of the bunch) can be moisturizing, but just FYI, they're a tiny fraction as effective as white petrolatum. Like, less than 10%. I'm too lazy to get up and find my Cosmeceuticals textbook to remind myself exactly how much. So if you want "all natural," resign yourself to worse.

BUT!!!! Your skin is not all the same! You have scalp skin, face skin, neck skin, trunk skin, arm skin, leg skin, skin around your genitals, skin of the palms, and skin of soles of the feet. And all of those can act different. So I can't say "apply Vaseline everywhere" because that might be too much skin barrier for your face--what if your face has oil glands that work perfectly well? What if we need a lighter, less occlusive moisturizer? That's where my personal hell was for the last ten years as I struggled to find a facial moisturizer I like! What if you have oil glands that are overproductive? You may need a totally different moisturizer than I need! No good way to figure it out except trial and error while paying close attention to ingredient lists.

Sunblock is also a good thing to have but as someone who doesn't wear it because a) I don't go outside and b) it always breaks me out, I feel hypocritical talking extensively about it. I wear "dad hats" (at least a 2" brim all the way around) and long sleeves while gardening. You should definitely still wear sunscreen, though. Do as I say, not as I do.

[ratmans-notebooks]

everyone listen to me right now. trans men & transmascs are targets of misogyny. crazy idea i know but when youre seen as a woman and/or shoved into the woman category people will be misogynistic to you. it is fuckign crazy the amount of posts ive been seeing syaing stuff like "trans men think theyre exempt from being mras cause the dr said they were a girl once" or "having a pussy doesnt mean you cant be sexist" and its like. YEAH OBVIOUSLY having a pussy doesnt mean you cant be sexist but jesus christ the presumption that trans men are unaffected by their asab or that theyve never ever experienced anything like misogyny is wilddd!! not to mention why are we still referring to transmascs by their (assumed) genitals. like its obviously vile to reduce transfems & trans women to their genitals but the same people who realize this seem to have no problem doing it to transmascs

[vimbry]

(john linnell voice) bring the vagina guy out

[bogleech]

The first time I ever heard of the Gugs from Lovecraft it was Wayne Barlowe's illustration so that's what they look like to me, sad pink mole rat gorilla guys with vajinus mouths

Thing is that's exactly how they were described in the books, with big bony brow ridges and giant hairy "paws" and a mouth that's just sideways "from the top to bottom" of their head

But positively EVERY other depiction I've ever seen opts for the whole head splitting open, and yeah that's a cool look too, but are they just doing that because they can't resist pushing each characteristic to an extreme or are they afraid to depict something with a mouth that looks like a vaginer??? Give the gugs their gussies back

[butch-chastity]

I said "Jesus's side wound pussy" in a conversation today and no one asked what I meant >:(

[biracy]

I can't remember if I've posted abt this before but regardless: I'm sorry but I really and truly cannot get behind the idea that there is any wide-scale societal "pressure for trans men to be feminine" or "to be twinks" or whatever. You are either conflating a very small online community's beauty standard (usually some kind of transmasc pseudo-appropriation of "femboy" aesthetics, which yes, are often Bad and regressive and fetishized and etc.) with Mainstream Society, or confusing society not wanting trans men to transition with "wanting trans men to be feminine", which are certainly not the same thing. Ultimately if a cis person believes there is any validity to the concept of being trans (i.e. not a Posie Parker-esque "there's no such thing as a trans person" type), they are more likely to think that trans men should be like as masc and buff and hairy as possible or whatever bc that's what cis people think men look like and it's easier for a lot of people to recognize someone who Looks Masc as a man. It is difficult sometimes to see derision of trans guys who are Too Feminine and Not Hairy Enough or whatever (which is not always something someone has control over btw) as anything but "this is Skye who I think is a confused little girl because Skye does not pass" slightly restyled for 2023 "filthcore fagdykes" or whatever lol

[phoenixyfriend]

Imagining the kind of discourse that the tiktok baby queers would make about me if they ran into my Anakin Is Very Gender fanfics and it would give me nightmares if I didn't know most of them are like fifteen

[foldingfittedsheets]

hi, this is a little embarrassing to ask, but i was wondering if you know if it's possible to get pregnant from dry humping??

You're okay. You definitely cannot get pregnant from dry humping. The only way to get impregnated without paying doctors a ton of money, is for semen to get in to your vagina. That's it. So unless a penis is inside your vagina, you're safe.

[freckliephil]

sitting here giggling over two gay men putting all four feet in their mouths trying to discuss how underwear doesn’t just get sucked up into the coochie

[mysicklove]

so glad that cranberry juice makes your pussy taste good bc i be fucking that shit up like no other

[sexygaywizard]

vagina... thank you

[palilious]

*shoves him in your face* LOOK AT MY SON [preesh to @yoteako for the sona/oc template]

[wizard-gobling]

Say what you will about your own flirting skills, but I don’t think anybody will be able to top the (seemingly high on coke) man at the gay bar who first flirted with the straightest looking man on the planet by telling him he “wanted to come in his beautiful eyes” and then turning to me (the most gay looking woman on the planet) and telling me he wanted to crawl up my vagina. Like Stuart Little.

[iamonlyhereforthefreefood]

Occasionally the Instagram algorithm will show me posts from dedicated childfree accounts and they're usually funny or relatable memes but the comments are of course filled with the "you're regret it when you're older" "enjoy your cats" etc. comments. But another one I see is "no one cares if you don't have kids but why are you making it your whole personality?"

And like A.) There are lots of single topic Instagram accounts and people only get mad when it's an account about being childfree. No one accuses a guy running an account filled with football memes of making football his only personality. Like an Instagram account does not equal the scope of someone's entire life and interests.

But also B.) Do you know how scary it is to be a kid/teenager and have everyone talk about pregnancy/becoming a mother like it's an inevitability? Like it's just something that happens to you one day whether you want it to or not? People need to know there is an alternative. Openly childfree people are important so people can realize "oh I don't have to have kids if I don't want to? I can opt out?" because there are still so many people having kids just because they're "supposed to"