#v; Never Wanted a War {Eclipse}

[kckt88]

Sytilībagon.

Summary:

Aemond follows his neice to her chambers, determined to teach her a lesson.

Warnings: Angst, Drama, Fluff, Language,Kissing, Incest, Smut - (Oral Sex - F Recieving), P in V Sex, Multiple Positions, Multiple Orgasms.

Word Count: - 2174

Sytilībagon - Belong.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!

ENEMIES TO LOVERS.

AEMOND X O.C LAELA

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used.

Comments, likes, and reblogs are very much appreciated.

As Aemond strode down the corridor, his footsteps echoing with purpose, he clenched his fists, his jaw set in determination. His niece's laughter still rang in his ears, a mocking melody that stoked the flames of his anger.

How dare she? How dare she mock him, belittle him in front of the others?

He reached the door to her room, his hand trembling with restrained fury as he raised it to knock. But then, a darker idea crept into his mind. No, knocking would give her too much warning. He wanted her to feel the fear that gripped him, the same fear she had incited within him.

With a quiet, menacing resolve, he turned the knob and pushed the door open slowly, the hinges creaking softly in protest.

The room was dimly lit, shadows dancing along the walls, casting eerie shapes across the floor. Aemond's eyes narrowed as he spotted her sitting at the vanity, her back to him, unaware of his presence as she threaded her fingers through her thick dark locks.

He stepped into the room, his footsteps muffled by the thick rug, his breath coming in shallow, controlled bursts.

With each step closer to his niece, his resolve solidified.

Finally, he stood behind her, towering over her small frame, his shadow engulfing her.

She turned, startled by his sudden appearance, her laughter dying on her lips as she met his steely gaze.

"Aemond," stammered Laela, her voice trembling with apprehension. "What are you doing here?"

Aemond didn't respond. Instead, he reached out and grabbed her by the shoulder, his grip tight and unforgiving as he hauled her from the chair. He leaned in close, his breath hot against her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

"You think it's funny to laugh at me, do you?" he growled, his voice low and menacing. "You think you can mock me and get away with it?"

Laela tried to pull away, but his grip only tightened. She could feel the rage emanating from him, a dark energy that seemed to consume everything in its path.

But as her hand reached up to grasp his, Aemond was caught off guard by an unexpected sensation that rippled through him.

In that fleeting moment of contact, there was an undeniable spark of intense attraction that flickered to life.

Aemond's grip tightened, not out of hostility, but out of a newfound curiosity.

Her gaze met his, and for the first time, he noticed the depth in her amethyst eyes.

Caught in the intensity of the moment, Aemond found himself drawn to her, his usual defences crumbling.

He couldn't deny the pull he felt, the unspoken connection that seemed to bridge the gap between them. It was as if the gods were conspiring to bring them together, despite their differences.

As Aemond leaned forward, his heart pounding in his chest, he hesitated for a fraction of a second, uncertainty warring with desire.

But then, it was Laela who closed the distance between them and pressed her lips against his.

The kiss was tentative at first, a tentative exploration of uncharted territory.

Yet, as their lips met, a surge of desire coursed through Aemond, igniting a fire within him that he never knew existed. In that moment, all doubts faded into the background, eclipsed by the overwhelming rush of emotion.

Laela responded to his kiss with a soft gasp, her own hesitance melting away in the heat of the moment. Their embrace deepened, each movement fuelled by an undeniable passion that defied logic and reason.

As the intensity of their kiss lingered in the air, Aemond's mind raced with a flurry of desires he struggled to contain. With each heartbeat, the yearning to be closer to Laela intensified, overwhelming his senses with a primal urge he couldn't ignore.

Gazing into Laela's eyes, Aemond felt a fierce longing stirring within him, an ache that demanded to be sated. In that moment, the idea of being apart from her felt unbearable, as if a part of him would cease to exist once they were no longer entwined.

Driven by impulse and a hunger he couldn't quell, Aemond found himself silently contemplating the unthinkable – to take her to his bed. The thought both thrilled and terrified him, awakening a whirlwind of emotions he struggled to comprehend.

In the depths of his soul, Aemond knew that such an act would irrevocably change things between them. Yet, the allure of surrendering to their passion proved too potent to resist, tempting him to abandon all reason in favour of the primal instincts that pulsed through his veins.

“Let me have you” urged Aemond.

“-Yes” replied Laela desperately.

Unable to deny himself any longer, Aemond shoved her towards the bed.

Aemond hooked his arms around her thighs and pulled her to the edge of the bed.

Laela watched as Aemond spat on her cunny.

His singular eye quickly looking at her before he lowered his head and pressed into Laela’ core with his tongue.

Laela clutched the bedspread above her head, her fingers digging into the fabric.

Aemond withdrew from her soaking wet core, licking at her pearl with his tongue. He was hard, fast and brutal, alternating between her assaulted bundle of nerves and drinking deep from her cunt.

Laela ground down on Aemond, hard; his tongue speared deeper inside her, and she felt the warm curl of her peak approach.

“That’s it come for me baby-” urged Aemond, his fingers reaching forward to caress her pearl.

“AEMOND” screamed Laela arching off the bed as she peaked.

“Hmm” muttered Aemond as he pressed a series of kisses to Laela’ inner thighs.

“P-Please A-Aemond. Need you” begged Laela.

Aemond rose from the floor, his chin shining with her slick, he smirked as he swiped his fingers over his chin and then placed them in his mouth savouring the delicious taste of his niece.

Aemond moved up Laela’ body pausing to grasp hold of her left breast as he ran his tongue over the peaked rosy nipple.

“Oh-“ gasped Laela.

“-ñuhon” growled Aemond as he seized Laela’ lips in a ferocious kiss, his hard cock throbbing against her thigh (Mine).

Aemond wrapped a hand around his cock and slowly ran it over Laela’ wet entrance, she began squirming impatiently against him as he continued to tease her.

“P-Please, I want you” exclaimed Laela desperately.

“Hmm” rasped Aemond as he slid inside her with a singular thrust.

He paused at her whimper of pain, pulling away slightly, and looking down to see the blood streaking his cock.

“A-Are you ok?” asked Aemond quietly.

Laela nodded slowly, her heart pounding in her chest, the sharp pain she had felt when he had first entered her was now a dull ache, she could feel his cock throbbing inside her and it made her insides squirm.

“Y-You can move now” muttered Laela.

Aemond started to thrust slowly, trying to prolong the feel of his niece squeezing his cock.

"Faster, Aemond" begged Laela.

"Patience, issa dōna" chided Aemond as he ran his nose up Laela’ neck (My sweet).

“Yes, Aemond, just like that-" panted Laela

Her hands ran over his arms, over his shoulders, and down his back. Her nimble fingers mapped his back muscles and then went down to his arse and gripped him - pressing him into her harder.

 “Gods, Laela" grunted Aemond, speeding up slightly.

"Fuck me, Aemond. Fuck me with that big, cock of yours. You feel so good inside me. I-I want it-I want you”.

Aemond groaned loudly, he knew exactly what Laela doing, but he couldn’t help himself. She wanted faster, he was going much faster now.

His pace had increased with every filthy word that dropped from his niece’s luscious lips. Now he was quickly thrusting in and out, shaking the bed, the headboard banging loudly against the wall.

Aemond lifted Laela’ legs onto his shoulders and wrapped his arms around her thighs, squeezing them together as he thrust his cock into her soaking wet cunny.

Laela folded her arms above her head as she moved her hips, meeting Aemond thrust for thrust.

“Aemond! I’m going to come. Oh, fuck!” screamed Laela.

“That’s it baby-come for me” exclaimed Aemond as he felt her clenching on his cock.

Aemond could feel the tension in his abdomen, but he didn’t want to come. Not yet.

Not even waiting for her orgasm to fully subside, Aemond moved Laela’ legs off his shoulders and manoeuvred her onto all fours, she whimpered as his cock slipped out, but he bent forward to press a series of kisses to her glorious arse, his hands kneading the soft flesh.

“P-Please Aemond” whispered Laela, her voice slightly muffled as she pressed her face into the mattress.

Aemond took his cock in hand and sheathed himself inside Laela once again, his eye rolling into the back of his head.

“Fuck” groaned Aemond.

“God. Yes. Aemond” moaned Laela.

He began to thrust in and out of her in deep achingly slow thrusts.

Laela took one of Aemonds hands that was on her hip and brought it towards her head.

Knowing what she wanted, Aemond placed his hand on the back of her head and pushed her face into the mattress, her back arching. His cock reaching deep inside her as he moved with such ferocity it could rival an animal, his long silver hair unbound and sticking to his sweaty back.

Aemond then grasped both of Laela’ arms and held them behind her back as he pounded into her, the sound of his hips slapping against hers echoed around the room.

Her screams of pleasure muffled by the mattress.

 “Fuck. Laela-that’s it” moaned Aemond.

He took hold of Laela’ hair, twisting his fingers into the messy dark curls before he pulled her backwards, her sweaty back colliding with his chest.

Aemond held Laela tight too him as he fucked her, his cock reaching deep inside her.

One hand grasped her hip, his blunt fingers digging into her flesh. Whilst his other released her hair and moved to her throat, squeezing gently.

“Give it to me please” pleaded Laela her head lolling back onto Aemond’s shoulder.

Aemond could feel the tension building in his abdomen again, as he thrust his cock inside Laela.

“I want you to come on my cock again, but not like this-” muttered Aemond as he once again withdrew from his wife’s wet heat and propped himself up against the headboard.

“-Aemond” exclaimed Laela breathlessly.

 “Ride me baby” replied Aemond as he pulled Laela on top of him. His hand moving to his cock, rubbing it along her folds before she sunk down and completely engulfed him.

“I-I don’t know how to-“ muttered Laela her cheeks tinged pink.

“Here-I’ll show you” replied Aemond placing his hands on her hips and moving her up and down.

 “Oh-” gasped Laela as she rolled her hips against Aemonds.

“That’s it baby, take it. Take all of me”

Laela dug her nails into Aemond’s chest as she moved her hips against his, his cock hitting the sweet spot inside her perfectly.

“A-Aemond” moaned Laela as he sat up, moving his hand to her breast again and taking her nipple into his mouth, his teeth gently grazing the rosy bud.

“Let go baby, I can feel you clenching around me” exclaimed Aemond, as he moved to the other breast and lavished it with the same attention as the other.

Laela’ thighs began to burn, as she felt her third climax approach, if her uncle’s face had been sculpted by the gods themselves, then his cock had surely been given to him by the devil.

It was sin incarnate and Laela was ready to let it claim her fully, her uncle had possessed every fibre of her being and she revelled in it. Her mother would weep at her ruination and her brothers would claim she had been defiled, but all that mattered in that moment was Aemond.

 “AEMOND” screamed Laela her vision going white as she came around his cock.

 Her uncle threw her back onto the bed his cock never leaving her warmth as he pounded into her, her legs wrapped around his waist, trapping his body against hers as he chased his own end.

“God. Laela” groaned Aemond as he exploded. His cock throbbing and twitching as he finally spilled his seed, collapsing on top of his niece, breathing hard.

It took a good while for Aemond to regain his senses.

Meanwhile Laela was laid underneath him completely blissed out. Her heart pounding in her chest.

Suddenly the realisation hit Aemond, he had just taken his nieces maidenhead, he had taken her to his bed and ruined her. What Lord would want her now?

No-she belonged to him. No other man would ever get to lay claim to her, he understood now more than ever, that he wanted her, he'd always wanted her and his hate was just a façade.

They were meant to be, and realm be damned he would see so.

There was only one way to ensure that she would belong to him forever.

“Marry me”

[artwithoutblood]

I have decided to assign all the galleria girlies Einsturzende Neubauten songs. They can’t escape it. I wish to inflict music on others and also the sound of my own voice. ☝️🧐

For Dorian I pick Stella Maris and The Garden. (Fun fact: Stella Maris means “star of the sea” which often refers to Mary, but is also an alternate name for the Northern Star sailors used to navigate. Polaris. I keep coming back to this symbol. They are trying to find each other.

In the Garden the 4 rivers flowed from Eden. It’s interesting how the song slowly goes from calm and repetitive to mounting desperate grief.)

For Erebus I wanted to give him Blume (probably how gentle yet foreboding it is, how there’s literally a director with a megaphone, and poetic flower imagery). “If you know my name, don’t speak it out. It holds power.”

Or Silence Is Sexy. exaggerated cigarette inhales and rhythmic military tapping 

Or Insomnia. very ambient and sinister, droning, troubled

For Aeron Insomnia fits a little better though as they don’t ever sleep or really rest, only stare, and have bad daydreams.

 “Insomnia on a new moon night Being caught in circular reasoning In well-known confusions Without replenishment of conclusions

 … Can't stop On an empty new moon night Is a lot It's all far too much Way too much to sleep The thoughts have night tours I never put her down

So they are there and sing their song Of all the things I ever lost Of keys, innocence, good friends About perspectives, account balances Some things are just temporary

Lots and lots of dark stuff Too much Way too much to sleep Far too much to dream about”

Or Total Eclipse Of The Sun. A very calm chill avant garde song about destruction. 

I’m still debating which of the two gets Nagorny Karabakh, a beautiful contemplative song about self isolation and taking refuge yet still asking to be visited. There are asides to war in the Middle East like being trapped between. (This song is very romanticised, was written in the 90s (?) before the current escalation, and is not intended to trivialise the horrors happening right now.)

For Genesis’ dissonant music maybe something more industrial noise like one of the clanging metal songs off Kollaps, or the last few minutes of Armenia off Halber Mensch. The early stuff is not really my cup of tea and I’m not too familiar with it. Had to dig for something. But I knew something in there might suit him. They’re very experimental and discordant, literally banging or using tools on scrap metal in some performances.

Der Tod Ist Ein Dandy is probably what the Arcana was trying to unleash on the world. 

Or these unholy screams during a trippy performance of Stagger Lee while Blixa Bargeld was still in the Bad Seeds. Volume warning - flashing lights warning - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yapiXJsTNPA

Over time Blixa actually somewhat scarred his vocal cords with his trademark screams.

Or a upbeat song like Let’s Do It A Dada for when he’s just being a silly energetic guy jumpin around

Kayn, Ambrose, Adonis, I haven’t really picked anything for them yet.

I dunno man I just be talking

this is a lot to respond to but i did listen to all of these! good band. feel free viewers to interpret these songs and add your own for characters!

[aegor-bamfsteel]

What do you think about Ashara and mystery surrounding her? Do you think that Brandon Stark was lover?

GRRM probably based Ashara’s appearance on that of Elizabeth Taylor—as they both had long dark hair and “haunting violet eyes—with him saying in a 2014 interview about her 1952 version of Rebecca of York in Ivanhoe that “She was the most beautiful woman in the world. I think I was nine years old when I saw that movie. How could you not fall in love with her?” Ashara is known to be very beautiful…and that’s it, even by the man who claimed to be in love with her. We know she smiled and laughed, that she danced with some knights at Harrenhal, she was a lady companion to fellow Dornishwoman Elia Martell, and then the rest gets muddled. Barristan claims she was dishonored at Harrenhal, Catelyn thinks she may be Jon’s mother, the Daynes think that she and Ned fell in love at Harrenhal, Cersei posits that she killed herself because Ned took Jon away from her after slaying Arthur. Like Lyanna, who she was as a person is eclipsed by the mystery surrounding the character (is she Jon’s mother? Did she and Ned fall in love? What happened to her alleged baby if it wasn’t Jon? Her body is never found, so maybe she’s still out there, maybe in disguise as a septa?) but unlike Lyanna, we never get a story that clarifies her personality (Ex: the Reeds’ story of her defending Howland or Ned remembering how she reacted to Mya Stone). Which is annoying, because there’s mysteries around several posthumous male characters—Rhaegar, Daemon Blackfyre, Aegon V, even Hoster Tully and Bl00draven technically—that don’t prevent them from having personality traits and actions that don’t involve romance/someone’s sexual interest in them. Consequently fandom has done most of the heavy lifting in crafting a personality for her…which I can’t say I like their interpretation, because there’s no evidence she was a “love them and leave them” Femme Fatale just because she danced with some guys at Harrenhal, a few men thought they were in love with her, and she might’ve had sex with one resulting in a pregnancy. The idea that she committed suicide either out of grief for Arthur (which if she is dead, I’d prefer) or because her lover died/abandoned her and maybe her child died is upsetting; as I’ve said before, I hate when suicide is used without an attempt to take it seriously (see GRRM’s SSM on Shiera and how he depicts the suicides of Helaena and Jaehaera), and just like he sexualized Naerys’ “nearly emaciated” body due to her frequent fasts, that she jumped off a tower out of grief is held up as a tragically beautiful/romantic ideal by even her family. Hence why I like the fan theory that because her body was never found, she’s still around and there’s a possibility she’ll be an actual character with personality. Idk if there’s any direct evidence for that, though.

I did mention this in an ask about Barristan’s thoughts on Gerris Drinkwater, but it’s possible that at least Barristan thinks Brandon was her lover. We don’t get any interaction between them except Ashara danced with Ned once Brandon asked for him. However, Barristan still harbors antipathy toward the person who “dishonored” her at Harrenhal and noticed her looking at Stark, but in AGOT he seems to respect Ned…so maybe it wasn’t Ned who was the Stark who she had sex with, but Brandon, who in the same novel it’s pointed out by ex lover Barbrey that he was never shy about taking what he wanted. That’s kind of sad if it were true, because Ashara seems to have cared a lot about her rumored lover, and it doesn’t seem like Brandon would’ve returned any deep feelings. I’ve always had a soft spot for N/A because I like that a shy kid was willing to go all the way the most beautiful girl around, and those two were gonna have a Vegas wedding until war came and tore them apart…but that it doesn’t detract from N/C, as they built their love through their family and home. Now I don’t think N/A is likely given Ned’s radio silence about her, but I don’t hate the idea. B/A I dislike, even though circumstantial evidences could point in its direction. At the least, it’s good speculation fodder for the baby swap that resulted in Aegon VI.

[forgottenroderick]

OOC | Roderick & Heirs

@forgottenguinevere

@forgottenedmund

@forgottenarthur

@forgottensebastian

@forgottencassandra

ok so ill do individual things for all the kids of course, but i just kinda wanted to leave this out here bc this is super complicated and!!! yeah

basically, roderick will NEVER decide the succession issue to anyone's satisfaction bc he 1) wants his kids to prove themselves like he did to rule bc he tells himself that's how you become a great ruler and so its really this great favor that he's doing to both his kids and his country etc smdh and 2) he can never, ever be eclipsed and everyone has to remember that HE is the emperor and not get distracted w ideas of someone else being emperor so alksjdfkj sdklfjaskljf ok so onto more specifics

ok so!!! this def won't be a complicated relationship or anything kalsjdfjkdf v lowkey vibes ksdljfakjsf ok ok but srsly im so sorry in advance for this man hahaha he's like...idk...he's v weird bc on one hand he's def an absentee dad??? like, does he show up to tourneys if one of his boys is competing? Or to a ball that is celebrating the nameday of one of his girls? Only if he happens to be there anyway and nothing else is happening which is...almost never! Does he talk to them everyday? Not a chance! There are probs whole months, maybe even years, that went by during childhood while Roderick was off on campaign where he never saw them, never wrote to them, etc, etc, etc.

But!! on the other hand!! he's also a deeply controlling father? he may not have seen the kid in weeks, but he knows what they ate for all of their meals and whether or not they had a snack, he knows what their lessons were and how well they did, he knows whole details of who they spoke to and what they said, etc, etc, etc, AND! he has opinions!!!!! and he WILL make any displeasure felt!!!! however, if the kid behaves as roderick thinks they should, he doesn't interfere at all he's like 'cool cool ok tell me every single weird intimate thing that happened to my next kid on the list' and just moves on alkjdskfjdsdlkfja and!! he calls this love!!! and believes his kids should be grateful to him for this care he puts into their upbringings!!!!

so the net here for the kids is basically they don't hear BOO from dad at all (unless they happen to be in the same castle as he is atm and the man is always on the move) unless they've done smth wroNG!!!!

now, when he's there, he will call them to him when he's got smth he wants to teach them. if they're a boy, this can be anything from you're going to sit here and watch me behead this traitor (or maybe even do it for me yourself when they get older) to look at this map and ill explain why im attacking this city and not that one first in order to conquer this kingdom! this is his version of bonding time btw lasjkdfkjdf

also this is only for the boys, but it is for ALL the boys, including sebastian

for the girls, its more likely to be general statesmenship stuff and less violent stuff, like 'im gonna make this deal with this dude to undercut that one and here's how you can make this work for you' etc. he'd also def give these sorts of lessons to ed and seb -- arthur *sometimes* but he doesn't think arthur's v smart tbqh so he focuses more on the war and punishment stuff w him

also, which kid he summons is generally pr normal, but it tends to lean most towards the kid he's most pleased w at that moment so alksdjfkjsdf

roderick's succession plan is alexander the great's 'the greatest' succession plan, where basically they have to kill e/o for it or whatever after he's gone he's like 'succession is a you problem, kids' basically but he won't ever just come out and say that laksjdfjksdjf he also expects that they won't just break up his empire, but maintain it which is super unrealistic in that he's basically 'just have a civil war when i die' aklsdjfjklsdf

but anyway alksdjfkjsdf he ~does see them all as potential rulers, whether as the next emperor/empress (he is a bit sexist so he does lean towards it being the next emperor w guin simply being so exceptional she's considered rather than being like yeah women can rule in general) or as the queen re: a marriage alliance which he sees as cassandra's certain destiny and a possible one for guin. however, he also means to conquer everything he can so will this include conquering the place where he's lately made his daughter queen? who knows! he's a changeable dude

but also while the above is 100% true AT THE VERY SAME TIME he does have v distinct ideas about who would make a great king and who would not...these shift pr radically tho ngl alkjdfjdsf and so he'll def sometimes be like 'yeah you know what edmund you should def be my heir' on a day that edmund performs esp well and he def makes this felt by everyone at court and rubs everyobody's face in it but then he sort of moves on from that bc obv the REAL king everyone needs to remember is HIM so he kinda resents any cowtowing ed gets and then two weeks later guin performs particularly well and then he's like THIS IS MY HEIR RIGHT HERE and the cycle repeats smdh

TL;DR: he basically approaches fatherhood just like he approaches ruling complete w a spyring and sending envoys w strongly worded letters if he sees smth he doesn't like

so yeah!! tis a hot mess my friends!!! and...im so sorry about him so yeah here pls enjoy this terrible father ig aklsdjfkjldsfj

[legends-and-savages]

Tag Dump

[mononijikayu]

chapter v.

chapter v.

Rating: Semi-M

Warning: Depictions of violence, minor context of war and mentions of in childbirth;

SUMMARY: In which many years apart and MELLARA TARGARYEN and DAEMON TARGARYEN YEARN FOR EACH OTHER.

[Prince Aelor Targaryen was full of painful dreams, ones he had spent years running away from. the way he had predicted the deaths of his family had left him burdend with the knowledge of the future. having dreamt of his daughter’s future, of the love she will create with her cousin prince Daemon Targaryen terrified him. the line of the hero that Aegon the Conquerer dreamt of had been born of their love. but such love burns, burns everything in a flame that was going to engulf the whole realm. he feared what was to come. yet, when he was gone - what was he do to stop it? none shall be able to stop such a thing. the rogue prince was determined. tut more so his lover, the realm’s love, was determined to love him.]

- maester aeron targaryen; adust

A D U S T   m a s t e r l i s t

< you and i burn together or we shall die trying >

chapter i  / chapter ii / chapter iii / chapter iv / chapter v

chapter vi / chapter vii / chapter viii / chapter ix / chapter x  

chapter xi / chapter xii / chapter xiii / chapter xiv / chapter xv

chapter xvi / chapter xvii / chapter xviii

It was not his intention to stare at his brother, but he could not help it. Many trifling years had passed since he had lost seen his younger brother and the last he had seen him, it was an accidental meeting. One his brother had not wanted nor planned. Purple eyes gleaming with surprise and anguish, almost pained at the sight of those he had shared blood with, pained by the sight of those he dare once say he loved. The royal progress had not been planning to stop at the route it had, but Baelon Targaryen knew his brother was near. He was within his reach. Baelon wanted it, to see him again. To see familiarity in the changing world.

When he arrived at upon the back of Vhagar, Baelon Targaryen could see the wide imposing walls from above. The shadow of his ancient beast swallowed the town whole, which had caused the result he had wanted. The bells rang, as did the crowds of people huddling away from the darkness he had caused. Then and only then did he see the same eyes he bore. The face that reflected the strength of their mother most. Baelon nodded at his brother. His dearest brother Aelor gazed back at him with apprehension. He sat proudly at his saddle, vicious Blacknight, roaring a song of a warrior at Vhagar, who roared back.

In these many years of his brother’s isolation, none had dared seek presence without his permission Lest they wanted to never be welcomed into his affections ever again. The thought had been odd, the thought of privacy. Their family had been nefarious intrusivity, distinctly their mother and father who controlled with all their hard-handed strength. Aelor with his free spirited nature and strength had always seemed too daring and too dauntless  ― mother or father had always been unable to bring his nature to heel. Mayhaps ‘tis why they had left him be, Baelon thought to himself. His brother was not afraid of anything. In the face of any threats, he thrives, like a dragon must.

The darkness of the shadow eclipsing the moonshine raining upon them, his gaze directed into a far away sea of pitch darkness. The silence that loudly sang upon the air, like a hymn resounding through the air. A proud beckoning of life in the harrowing dusk. Baelon Targaryen had not expected such beauty in his brother’s brutish dragon. In all these years, he had become all the grace that his brother had heled, enshrined in its scales were the valors of a knight and the sorrows of his songs were as lamenting as night. The metallic shine of the dragon now slowly rested upon the imposing eagle tower - an ugly monstrous stone tower with sharp peaks, eagerly gazing with dominance over the islet it stood upon with a dragon's eyes. From afar, one could hear his own ancient Vhagar, responding with what he thinks is a compliment to the younger.

It was heaven on earth in Blackhall, Baelon thinks. a paradise that only his brother could make. He understands why his little brother had kept it all to himself. Aelor had worked hard in making this once barren land into a thriving trading hub, filled with lively revelry and riches that only could match the luxury of his nephew, the Seasnake. 

Such it was in the abundance of a monstrous peaks emerging in symphony in quiet isolation, it was evident to see the glistening of serene wonder of the burnt black stone. Overlooking the port below it, the quiet lamplight of massive trading ships rests at anchor. From afar, Baelon could see his brother’s flag ship ‘Gentle Flower’ drift across the bay. For a moment, he thought to himself that Aelor had named the ship for their Daella. But he could not be certain.

The town was connected to the mound of the islet through a silver bridge, put together by the melting breath of dragonfire. It was a bustling life, one that could only come from fairy tales. A perfect space for anyone and everyone, isolated from the world that is filled with roughness and dirt. Baelon could conclude how grown his younger brother had become, ruling over the land like a righteous and virtuous king. As he let out a breath, he recalled what he thought when he had seen his brother as he joked and sang with the townsfolk and nobles. Smiling and beaming with boisterous laughter, merry like a sweet summer song. Harmony reigned because of Aelor Targaryen.

For a brief moment, Baelon had found himself once more lamenting the crown that now rests on his shoulders like heavy worlds crushing him. When he had been first made heir, he had been grievous at the thought that his father had disposessed his beloved brother’s heir, his daughter. Baelon was not made to be a king. He was many things, to be sure. A knight, a warrior, a dragon. But he was not king. He was not made for it, not the way Aemon was. 

Not like Aelor would be. For a moment, Baelon had selfishly wished it had been his younger brother who had been chosen to bear the pain of a royal crown. A throne that bore the responsibility of tthousands with hopes and dreams for the future of this land. Aelor was built for duty, he was built for the this crown. Alyssa had said just as much when they were playing those games of kings and queens and knights and all their bright colorful crowns. 

But even then, Baelon was the elder brother. This was not his younger brother’s burden to bear. He knew that all too well. The prince of Dragonstone had been all but certain that he had already used the gift of the gods for all the good joyous things in his life. Alyssa, his beloved sons, his granddaugther. He has more than used all his luck on this world. But Aelor was not done yet, his was barely empty. The prince knew that his brother was better off here, living a life where he could enjoy more of his life with those that love and cherish him. Baelon thinks it was all fair, for none had to deal with the the dragon's nightmares the way their brother has had to.

Baelon overlooked the deep ditch of massive curtain walls that span beyond the prince's courtyard. Walls thick with hard blackened stone, melted together with the heat of Blacknight's dragon fire. Baelon had known that his brother liked to  carve his mark upon the world, he knew that he would not be indifferent on his newborn domain. Father had gifted the land to his brother to reward him, for his valiant display of strength in vanquishing pirates along the river's mouth at Saltpans. Aelor had delighted in the joy that came with his success, vigorous in using both hands to build each and every stone. He could remember his grin, reaching his eyes as he and Alyssa watched him move through muddy water and brick. His heart clenched bitterly, missing those warm summer days.

They were always happy together. So eager to just be the three of them, dreaming of the joys that could come as they grew older together. When Aemon died, there were promises whispered and promises broken. More so when he had lost Alyssa and their babe. Baelon had always bore the heavy weight of all these losses. He cried as though his heart had perished with his brother Aemon and his soul breaking apart when Alyssa passed. But his brother's disappearance from all of it had always been something he wished had never happened. Even when he understood, Baelon had always wished it never was reality. Aelor was all he had left in truth. 

But now there was nothing but distance, but walls all around them. Aelor Targaryen all but hid himself here for years, forming a life of a nomad, enjoying the bliss of his warm home with his wife and daughter, away from all that he wished would never haunt him again. Baelon had always wondered if Aelor was running away. Perhaps even casting himself aside into oblivion, to hide from all the ghosts that chase after him. From all the ghosts only he could see, looking at him in their deep sunken eyes whispering over and over of his failures and grievous prophecies.

“Today,” Aelor Targaryen starts, breaking the silence. Baelon looks at him curiously. “’Tis Maegelle’s name-day.”

The elder brother’s brows furrowed, surprised. “I....Is that so?”

“Hm,” Aelor says as he moves towards the battlements, leaning over to look downwards. Baelon follows suit, noticing the flowers. “She would have been thirty and four, brother. Imagine that.”

The edges of the isolated isle on the bank of the rousy Trident fielded with endless grassy fauna that grew in abundance untouched. much too many flowers blossomed, glistening even in the shivering moonlight. Baelon was sure his younger brother had found the flowers himself. They looked bright even in the darkness, echoing with grace. He had a fondness for such things, as his own daughter grew interest in them back in Dragonstone years ago when she was but a girl.

In a moment that his thoughts drifted, Baelon heard a loud tune release from the dark echoes of Blacknight's roar across the breaking winds. Blinking, the prince had forgotten  for a moment that the young dragon was there at all with his eager silence. Monstrous glistening talons widening at each turn down the valley of the village, Baelon wondered if the small folk would delight in the sight of the dragon as they did now. He liked to believe so, at least. Blacknight was their protector, the one who sings them hymns of peace. Blacknight once more took flight, diving just below them and flew high once more into the heavy clouds.  A moment later, Baelon could hear his brother hum the same tune as his dragon.

“I heard from my contacts in Oldtown that you came to her when she passed,”

“You and your little spiders work quick,” The younger snorted, a sly smile on his face. “You keep tabs on me, lēkia?” 

“Of course, valonqar. I must do it.” Baelon says as he knocks his brother’s head with his hand. “Now, why did you go there? Are you stupid? Do you want to die, little brother?”

Aelor groans, rubbing his head. “You never use to hit that hard,” 

“Someone needs to knock sense into you, you fool.” Baelon sighed, shaking his head. “Greyscale is dangerous, brother. You could have been harmed!”

“You would rather Maegelle died alone?” Aelor now frowned. “Brother, you must understand, she was alone.”

“You know better than anyone that all of us die alone,” Baelon mummered, lowering his head as his little brother pursed his lips. “Endangering yourself will not make up for lost time. Not even when you will it.”

Aelor took a moment to compose himself. “...Maegelle said that too.”

“What?”

“That it was better she died alone,” Aelor whispered into the cold air. “The crone only takes one, she says.”

"Did that upset you, little brother?" Baelon questioned, arms rested upon his chest.

"Mayhaps." Aelor broke into a somber laugh. "Mayhaps not, I am not entirely sure."

Baelon was puzzled. "Whatever do you mean?"

“I saw Maegelle smile at me, in my dreams, before I came to see her.” His brother confessed. “The greyscale had spread through her face, her hands. I couldn’t touch her. But she smiled and told me goodbye. Elaena was worried for me, telling me in the middle of my rambling that my dreams were not true. Maegelle was fine.”

“Aelor ― “ Concern filled the elder dragon’s purple orbs.

“But they all come true. Time and time again.” Aelor whispers, almost as though tears will soon pour from his eyes. “Brother, I have seen it all.”

Baelon frowns. “What do you mean?”

"I fear that if I tell you, you would not like it." Aelor shakes his head, turning to his elder. "Fate being told and determined, it is a painful thing. A dangerous thing."

"It would relieve you as well." Baelon counters, sighing heavily. "Little brother, are you not tired of keeping secrets? After all this time, do you not trust me?”

"It keeps you safe." The younger purses his lips. "If I keep myself silent, mayhaps you and your sons will not rush to avoid it."

“But you just told me of our sister.”

Aelor shook his head. “She’s gone. That already has come true. But now, if I say more  ― my fear is the fourteen flames would will it to be.”

Baelon's brows furrows. "Little brother, is the dreams about us? Is that why you were so worried to look at me?

"Your line and mine," The younger Targaryen struggles to speak, halting as he gazes back to Blackwing who grazes upwards the clouds. The prince of Blackhall was moved to tears. “What fire and blood will reign upon this land.”

Baelon opens his mouth, but nothing comes out.

He shrugs, all his questions and worries unsaid.

Aelor’s tears poured, gleaming against the moon.

The smell of venison crept into the royal tent, its blood still freshly gathered onto the small of the butcher’s table. Yet it had reminded Mellara much of old days, years growing up in the open fire of a cold night out in the woods. Her own princely father gazing at the boar’s meat cooking on the spit. Eyes filled with concentration, one would think that he was in a trance, forever beholden to the mercy of burning meat. A small smile slid slowly into her features. It was just then that she recalled the scent of fresh air in the beautiful autumns riding out by the Trident, enjoying the fresh air of the woods in a hunt. 

Her father’s laughter beaming with pride at his daughter’s every successful shot, her joy at each every turn of stories he had told to her with the utmost elegance, loud and obnoxious – filled with endless wit that she beamed a grin at with intent to listen till the stories ended. They would stay up till the morning arose, just the two of them looking at each other’s eyes. Talking of endless nonsense that only they could understand. Oh how she missed these times, mindlessly joyous beyond comparison to be in the hunting party. Beyond compare, joyous at the company that surrounded her. This was not the case today. A flat line ushered deeply upon her features, her gaze turning onto her mother.

Elaena Velaryon looked pleasantly displeased to be here at all, sitting around the women that crowded the young queen. The princess dowager had all but wished she had not come, her features evidently poignant with endless boredom.The way that the women spoke parrotted her at her repeatedly into a lulled distaste. It had not been something that was out of the norm for her mother to have such a dull gaze upon her features. The dowager princess possessed no desire to hide what she thinks of people, not certainly when she is to be in the company of the lickspittles and sycophants in one space. 

At least that is what she had said when they had ridden the wheelhouse, unable to accept such a ridiculous expense of such a name day her great nephew would not even dare remember. She had all but screamed it in the king’s face, echoing with displeasure and anger, bittered by her nephew’s willingness to approve this ridiculous farce.These days, mother had been determined to correct her nephew and his weakness.The lack of tradition emptied the court of dissent to greed. Lest of all with the young queen in control of the royal household had lead into disarray. Mellara could not help but agree, knowing what had been going on at court — being forced to stay there these many uneventful years.

Mellara could once say that she had once felt for Alicent Hightower. It was her father, ser Otto Hightower who had placed her upon the situation she now is in. But with each passing day, with her son now born and pass the worry of his quick mortality, the princess of Blackhall could see the power that she could have with her son by her side. Viserys had all but been deferent to her and had  done so when she suggested appointments. Promoting them from the faction that now forms against Rhaenyra’s position at court, Mellara is uncertain, if this was the work of her father or her own. But Mellara could feel it, her eyes show it just as much. She was realizing her power as a queen. 

These days, Mellara Targaryen found herself as a bystander, powerless against her cousin’s royal authority. Mellara had been trying, she could say so, to promote the interests of her niece as heir. But she found that even with each and every nook and corner, Otto Hightower was always a road block. He had all but shoved out any petition of hers into the oblivion. Dedicately more so if it was in the interest of Rhaenyra’s reputation. If Rhaenyra wished to send money from her own purse to aid the orphanage in the HIll of Rhaenys, Otto would respond that they will look into it first. 

If Mellara saw it fit to fund the education of girls in the city’s poorest slum, she was told it would have to be subjected to the king’s will first. Mellara had all but found herself enbittered by the man, wasting her time in useless waiting. When she had told this to Viserys, he had said that he was sure Otto had only been doing so for her interest and the realm. But Mellara was aware that he had no intention of doing good or doing well by the realm. By all means, he wishes to ruin any chance of good if it does not benefit him.

These days, she could not even return to Blackhall to conduct business. Nor could her mother find herself able to visit the elderly lady of White Isle, without the permission being given. The depth of bitterness does not age well in the bitter gleam of wine. Instead, the wine has found itself spoilt and its smell disturbing the joys it should have, Mellara finds that everything now wastes itself away in endless tourneys and balls that give nothing but opportunities for snakes to roll through the fields freely. 

When they could be spending such funds to provide for the poor as queen Aemma had in Fleabottom when she could. She at times had given Viserys advise to even use his purse to help the realm. Instead of using his purse to build dromonds that could provide for a war, all these lords had all but nodded to spend as much of the many years royal purse combined to this long expensive royal procession that coils into this awfully dull hunt for the white hart.

The princess of Blackhall  slumped against the support, sighing deeply as she feeling a slight headache pass through her momentarily. Leaning her face to her side, she gazed at Rhaenyra as she restlessly walked across the royal confines. Her deep lilac eyes were observantly pondering from a distance, as though she was an unwelcome shadow in the walls. These many years had not been kind to her niece, uneasy with the loss of a friend, the loss of a father and the lost of identity that now dwells within her. These many years had become a painful conundrum of isolation and lonesomeness, casting away into the abyss where no one knew where she could be. Mellara could only reassure her niece as much as she could but she knew very well it is her that must see it as truth.

The elder Targaryen had felt such pain for her niece in the depths of her heart, being lost in the vast wilderness she did not know how to escape from. For a moment, she could see herself in the younger woman. She too had been through such grief, losing her father. But such pain a mother and then losing a friend to tumultous circumstances over these years had made Rhaenyra feel so desperately alone in these seas. Even if one understood duty, duty at its core was known to batter the heart and harm the soul. Being at the highest peak is the saddest sight to behold. Even more so, it was always harder without anyone by your side. Father had said as much to her when she was but a girl.

In a way, she could understand Viserys and his need for others. But she did not know whether she could hate him or no. All of them were wrought in the miserable weight of the crown. Yet, all of them were the ones making sacrifices for his joys, not he. Yet they were all still there, waiting to be noticed by the man they live their unhappiness for. Mellara however was aware as Daemon was, as she was sure Rhaenyra was that they do not have the luxury of having Viserys as a man any longer. With the walls caving into them, trapping them under the yoke of royal authority, he was just the king now. A king who cannot be anything else but the crown’s puppet.

“You must be getting lonely without me.” Mellara whispered at her ear, wrapping her arm around her niece. She could see the small smile upon her niece’s lips. “Is the wine any good?”

“Well, its Arbor gold. I expect nothing special of it. ” Rhaenyra whispered in kind, cheekily. “Too stale.”

“You best not let lord Tyrell hear such a thing, niece,” Mellara slyly grinned back. “The man is too prideful for words that do not bloom in flowers.”

Rhaenyra returned her grin, “But dearest aunt, he will forgive me.”

“And why so, niece?”

“If my dearest aunt will tell lord Tyrell a better story, I am sure he will do so.”

Mellara laughed. “You have grown brazen, niece. But perhaps you are right. Lord Tyrell will not mind. He knows my preferences for white wines.”

Her niece raised an intrigued brow. “Oh, then is it off to aunt Saerra?”

“You give me a good preposition, princess.” Mellara says, her hands brushing through her niece’s long silver locks. “But I doubt your kingly father would be calm with the loss of his heir.”

“He does not even notice when I am gone, aunt.” Rhaenyra snorts as she leans into her touch. She looks at her aunt, almost pleadingly. “Come, my dearest aunt. Let us be on dragonback and escape this dreadful place together.”

“I wish I could, my princess.” Mellara replies, kissing her niece’s temple. “But knowing your dearest kingly sire, he will send after that dog of his to look for us.”

Rhaenyra shook her head. “I wish this trip should end. I did not even wish to go here.”

 “Nor do I,” Mellara whispers back. “But I do swear to you, soon enough we shall be back at the Red Keep and reading away in peace.”

“I look forward to that.” The crown princess beamed in a way she had not throughout the hunt. “I shall like your company. And our darling boy.”

The princess of Blackhall nodded happily. “You can count on us there, my dearest. We will be there at your pleasure.”

The princess of Blackhall had always been close to Rhaenyra, as her dear mother was the queen’s good friend and family. However, in these four years – they had grown even closer. In such lonesomeness the silver haired elder had felt in these many years in the abundance of the court that had caused her much grief. In these times, Mellara Targaryen had felt too many things about life. The drifting of the family into factions had become a troubling worry for her. Viserys yields to lords who feast upon her flesh. 

Her mother, the dowager princess, had been filled with malice against the queen and her family which in turn caused her rift with her dear nephew the king. Rhaenyra had isolated herself, supporters coming and going with the birth of a male to her father, one that she felt had replaced her from her father’s affections. And even with her newborn nephew, Mellara had felt so distant regardless of her efforts to make connections with the queen. Much to her discomfort, the queen’s family had become quite a thorn to her life.

In such recent years, Mellara Targaryen had found herself full of threats upon her chosen life. The piling of letters, asking for her hand in marriage had come with such urgency. Each corner of the realm had asked for her hand when Rhaenyra rejected their own begging plea. It did not surprise Mellara, she was of marriageable age. She had been since she had been ten and six. Her father had shook his head when he had been alive, at each raven coming to Blackhall with written intentions to ask for his daughter’s hand. 

Ever so cantankerous, he laughed and declared he did not care to arrange marriages because Mellara was no fool. She was to choose her husband in her own way, which much her mother had agreed with. But her father was no longer here – the king was. The king had made himself clear years ago that just like Rhaenyra, Mellara had to marry. To do her duty to the crown, to their family. It angered her mother, causing a rift further. But Viserys had been firm about the matter and he would not change his mind, not even when Alicent had tried to convince the king otherwise.

Mellara would have thanked Alicent for her kindness, she would have. Yet she did not speak when her own lord father had proposed marriage to the princess of Blackhall. Nor denied her kingly cousin the chance to do so. Alicent knew just as much that another royal marriage to a Hightower would benefit them well. Viserys had thought it a good match, as Mellara would not have to rule Blackhall alone. The king kept touting it an honorable match, but there was no thanks from mother and daughter. There was only horror to the thought of being miserable at the hands of a man who will use her and abuse her. 

It had appalled the princess dowager that such a man who had caused much of the rift in her family would come to cause more animosity within the house of the dragon by forcing a marriage match she did not want. The princess dowager had been so aghast with anger towards her nephew that she took her daughter and sailed to Driftmark, welcomed by her niece Rhaenys when she had been there. However, the king could not be avoided for too long and as such, with royal command – they returned and refused to speak with the king as much as they would be able not to.

It had been a somber affair, much arguing had happened through the days that followed their return. The king had forgotten that the princess dowager was without question unwilling to let her authority be diminished by anyone, not even the king. To her, she was the matriarch of this family, the last remaining of the long line of wise women that had left this great house. And in doing so, she could bring sense to the court. Most of all, sense to the king.

Forcing the king to see sense for hours on end, Mellara was given her right to marry on her own terms and would not marry below her station. However, they were to remain in the capital. To ensure that mother and daughter would not escape, she and her mother were interred in the princess of Dragonstone’s household. Even Blacknight was chained at the dragonpit, only released to accompany Rhaenyra to her flight across the Crownlands.

But this did not stop the marriage proposals.

And continually had ravaged her soul cold.

But she must endure.

“Perhaps the princess... can give us some insight.” Mellara heard the queen say, returning her to reality. Mellara walked closer towards the queen’s entourage, her mother still dulled by such conversation. “I am sure she knows more of this conundrum we are in.”

Rhaenyra chuckled nervously. “Oh, I'm not sure how I could. I've never been to the Stepstones.”

“The Stepstones are lovely, my princess.” Mellara spoke, moving towards her niece. The eyes of the ladies of court squabbling at her presence. “I have flown there on occasions. The sea is like a pearl of blue sapphires.”

“Your dear uncle is the great mind behind this war. Is he not?” The lady of the Rock did not pay mind to Mellara, instead raising a brow at the heir.

“I wouldn’t know.” Rhaenyra admitted honestly. “I’ve not spoken to Daemon in years.”

“But, of course, it should be won. The princess believes it as I do.” Mellara declares with confidence, her voice strident as she glares towards the lionness. “I am sure so. I have known my cousin to be swell with his sword. Our cousin Rhaenys and her son Laenor join him on dragonback. With Corlys and his fleet, it should be won.”

“Indeed,” Elaena added with a small nod. “There is nothing more fearsome than dragonfire. Soon enough, they would burn the Triarchy.”

Lady Lannister laughs. “Oh, certainly. But he seems to have failed, has he not? With defeating the Triarchy. It has been more than five years, princess dowager. The runts of the rogue has failed and soon enough with Dorne ―”

“I would heed you to mind your words well, little lion.” Elaena smiled at the younger woman, her lilac eyes clear with malice. “Prince Daemon is still the brother of the king, and an important part of my family. I hope you choose your words well.”

“I do not think she means harm, princess dowager.” Alicent exclaims, trying to ease the forming tension, who sank deeper in her chair. “Prince Daemon and house Velaryon had chosen war.”

“The queen is right. He's made a mess and he ought to deal with it in his own terms.” The lady Hightower exclaims frivolously. “If he desires so dearly to have such rocks to be his petty kingdoms, then she ought to die trying.”

“He won’t die.” Mellara spoke faster than she would have hoped, angerier than she would have hoped. But she did not correct herself. “My cousin is formidable in battle, I assure you, lady Hightower, he will correct this mistake.”

Rhaenyra nodded her head. “I may not know what know what my uncle does or what strategies he employs, but he wields Dark Sister and did the conqueror, Queen Visenya. Her will in batle shall guide my uncle, lady Hightower. He will win this war for the realm.”

Lady Hightower snorts. “For all the ills he had caused this realm, I would never think that you would consider still defending him. He has caused havoc for the king, and has caused trouble for the realm. If anything he should ―”

Elaena Velaryon stood, causing the ladies of the court to gaze at her frozen. One could feel the coldness in the room with the way she merely stood still. Mellara kept herself close to Rhaenyra, a hand wrapped upon her young niece. It was almost as if she was shielding the young girl from the events that would follow. The flow of her blue and black ermine dress thundered through the floor as she moved towards lady Hightower, gazing at her with cold eyes as though it had been freezing winter. Proud seahorses danced against the red three headed dragon across the Dornish silk. 

Aelor Targaryen was the complete opposite of his wife. His wife was colder in temperament, eager to speak her mind – even if such truths were harder to hear than most lies. Especially to those who could not accept it. The princess dowager uses her right hand to drag the silver platter off the touch of the lady whose eyes widened at the senior lady’s actions. The queen was tense, gazing at Mellara as though to beg for mercy. Mellara sighed, passed the crown princess and moved towards her mother.

“What has my lady Hightower done in these many years that warrants you a good servant of our good realm?” The princess dowager asked bluntly, her voice cutting like steel. “Other than languish up at the Hightower eating all your cakes? Is that your solution in solving our issue of our merchants losing strength? Or have you a better idea to solve our problems with the Triarchy my lady?”

“Mother, that is enough.” Mellara whispered to her in Valyrian. “The king will not forgive you for this.”

“He can only dare not to do so.” Her mother replied in turn, voice filled with venom. “Lest he wishes to alienate us further and force us against him.”

“Listen to your daughter, dowager.” lady Hightower taunted, “You endanger the image of the king.”

“And you cause ruin to the king, by being the brazen fool you are.” Elaena retorts back, her daughter’s grip on her arm tightening. “You ought to not speak at all my lady, if you offer no solutions.”

“For Rhaenyra’s sake. For my sake.” Mellara pleads with her mother, placing her hand upon her shoulder. Pursing her lips in a flat line, she whispers, “For my boy’s sake. Please do not let your temper get the better of you.”

The dowager princess continued her glare. Elaena broke contact from the ladies of court and turned to the direction of her nephew, the king, who gazed back at her with a hardened look. Mellara watched her mother walk away, pridefully walking towards the exit. Mellara turned to Rhaenyra apologetically, who shook her head and whispered to her comforting words. Soon enough, they part their ways as Rhaenyra told her aunt that she would like to take in some fresh air on her own. Mellara insisted she would come but the princess had made up her mind and left. The lilac eyed princess sighed, feeling the presence of lonesomeness as she walked towards the banquet table.

For a moment, she felt like she felt exhausted.

A small line beaconed against her drying lips.

All she wished was for Daemon in her arms.

“I thought I saw a familiar face.” Mellara blinked, turning to look behind her. Her eyes lit in familiarity. “It is good to see someone I know.”

“Elmo Tully, you devil!” Mellara smiled and jumped into his arms, laughing. “When did you get here?”

“A while ago.” He confirmed, parting from her embrace. “There was a delay. I had to look over some mill that was of concern.”

Aelor Targaryen had completely shut the world away from Blackhall, isolated in an islet. However, this did not mean he did not allow Mellara to have no friendly companionship. Aelor regularly invited young women and even young servant girls from across the town to play with Mellara. As she did not have younger siblings, Mellara had been much active in building relationships of close comfort with people outside of her royal rank. 

It had however not been the case when Aelor had brought in Elmo Tully, who had become his young foster ward. Lord Glover Tully had been a good friend to Aelor, thankful for his services against bandits around Riverrun and elsewhere. As such, he thought it would be a good continuation if their own children formed a friendship and in that moment Elmo entered the great hall, wearing his house colors – they had quickly become good friends.

Mellara Targaryen had much to say and Elmo who was a young boy of ten, fascinated by her fast speaking and exuberant motion of her steps. He listened to her speak for hours and on, urging her to continue her fascinating stories. Even at the expense of time with their Maester. 

Sitting with each other often at the gardens, reading poetry and history together and running around chasing each other across the castle’s inner keeps; even playing knightly games where they fought each other with wooden swords and painted shields - Mellara was delighted to have a new friend. One that could allow her to feel comfort in being herself away from the rules of her mother and the duties of her father, to just be a child of normal circumstance like everyone else.

“It is good to see you.” Mellara whispered joyfully. “I had not seen you since–”

“The funeral of the queen and prince Baelon..” Elmo says softly, eyeing her glassy eyes. “I hope I did not bring such offense or grief–”

“It is a long time ago now. Do not worry.” She reassures him. “It is a happier time now that we are together again.”

“Aye.” He nodded, smiling warmly towards her. “I am very glad that you are in a better place.”

Mellara shook her head. “It could be better. I wish I was at Blackhall right now. Fishing and hunting!"

Elmo laughed. “I think everyone is wishing for that. Especially with the atmosphere here. It’s almost like a warzone here.”

“Oh surely it is! My entire family does not feel endeared to each other at this moment.”

“I’m glad you and the princess are not.” Elmo whispers to her kindly. “Family is a delight to have in troubling times, you know.”

The princess smiled. “I do know. Though, I know you too do know. How is your lord grandfather?”

“He’s seen better days.” The lord sighed, his gaze filled with much emotion. “But he is alive and well, I reassure you. He’s taken walks around the gardens these days.”

“I’m glad he is well.” Mellara says, placing her hand on his wrist. “I know there is much closeness between you.”

He nodded. “Aye, but there too is conflict.”

Mellara raised a brow. “How so?”

The dark haired man pursed his lips tightly. “My home has become factioned. My grandfather wishes to see prince Aegon as heir. But I had reminded him of his vow – our family’s vow to the princess.”

“Does your lord grandfather forget honor?” Mellara’s brows furrowed, along with her face in a frown. “Rhaenyra is to be our queen, my lord.”

“My grandfather thinks that such a vow can be dissolved so easily, one even sworn to the gods.” He mumbles, disappointment evident in his face. He takes her hand from his wrist and squeezes it tightly, almost speaking into promise. “But I assure you, I am on Rhaenyra’s side. Your side.”

“Do you truly mean to keep your vow? To protect her claim?” She retorts, eyes filled with wanting. “To protect my family from ruin?”

He looked dumbfounded by her question. “When your princely father lay dying, did I not swear to him that I would protect your claim too? To protect you and your family?”

“Yes, I do but that is–”

“A woman is capable.” He raises a finger to her, almost scoldingly. “You have shown me, your mother has shown me. If you can do it, why can’t a brilliant and promising young woman like Rhaenyra cannot?”

Mellara was stunned by his response, blinking profusely. “I….I apologize, if you felt like I was doubting you. It’s just that lately…”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Elmo reassures her quickly, before breathing deeply. “Such men in the capital are vipers indeed. Having no honor and showing their true colors as sycophants.”

“Thank you.” Mellara gazed at him warmly in thanks. “I had so missed your friendship. Our correspondence has been so desperately missed.”

He grins at her handsomely, traces of fading scarlet hair stunned her. “I missed it just as much, dear Mellara. You are a beacon of my life, you know that?”

Mellara laughed, feeling heat upon her cheeks. “You say too much.”

Moving towards her body closer, Elmo felt his fingers slide through her loose silver hair and tucked it backwards with a gentle touch. Mellara’s eyes opened wide and slowly met his sapphire eyes once again. He smiled at her, moving backwards. At such a move, Mellara had felt her heart beat too wildly, almost like a drum that had been part of a musician’s play. She opened her mouth but she did not have anything to say, even when she wanted to. She bit her lip and placed her hands on her side.

“You are still the loveliest woman I have ever laid my eyes on.” He declared to her unabashedly, causing her to gasp. “It is not a surprise, my dear Mellara.”

“Not a surprise? What…what do you mean?”

“You still pleasure me with your kindness in this madness.” Elmo declares to her bluntly, grinning at her. “Mayhaps our friendship to be love.”

Frozen in place, Mellara felt like her heart was going to burst. No, she tells her heart. This is not how you should feel. You love someone else and he will return. Like he always has. Mellara felt her chest tighten, almost as though she would not have anymore air in her lungs to give her the luxury of breath. Murmuring an excuse, she quickly made her way out the tent. She did not stop even with Elmo calling her back with soft tenderness. 

Mellara Targaryen found herself ignoring the gaze of many as she left the tent. Gripping her chest, she could feel the heaviness as her heart pounded in her chest. The words spoken by Elmo Tully echoed in her mind, stirring up a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. She needed a moment to herself, away from the intensity of their conversation. In all these many years, she did not expect him to feel the way he does for her. She could feel the tears threaten to fall from her eyes.

She found solace in the quiet isolated forest hedge, where a gentle breeze rustled through the trees and the soft trickle of a nearby fountain provided a soothing melody. Mellara leaned against a tree’s strong body, trying to steady her racing thoughts. She closed her lilac eyes and took a deep breath, attempting to regain control over her emotions.

Why did Elmo's words affect her so deeply? She had always cherished their friendship, but she had never considered anything more between them. Not when she knew herself her heart belonged to another. Mellara's heart belonged to a dragon like her, the only one she knew was able to burn with her. Even from far away, she could never think to open her heart to anyone else. He was coming home for her, she knew that. Daemon Targaryen would return. He had every reason to. He had known, before he had left her, the swell of his seed upon her belly. He would not leave her and their child.

As she collected herself, Mellara thought about the fragile state of the realm and her family's position. The conflict over the succession to the Iron Throne weighed heavily on her mind. She had a duty to support her mother, Rhaenyra, and protect their family's claim. The realm needed stability, but for that to happen she must wed. As she always knew she was. But no more than over, for Rhaenyra’s sake. She pursed her the edge of her lips, taking in the quiet.

She prayed to the fourteen flames in silence.

She wondered if the gods would give her peace.

But she knew, gods liked to play many bitter games.

Her truest relief came when she saw her own tent from afar. Making her way towards her tent, she quietly greeted those she passed by all the while trying to stop her chest from caving in like a house of cards crashing down. Once she made her way towards her tent, loyal Blackhall men greeted her and servants came to call to her. All the white noise had given her nothing save blurry echoes that yielded into multiple reverberations that made her head hurt but she kept on walking until she found her mother sitting on red velvet chairs, gazing in the innocence that dreamed with bliss.

Mellara felt her knees give in as she sat upon the empty space beside the boy. Leaning forward, the princess closed her eyes and placed a warm kiss upon the sleeping figure’s cheeks. Such rosy cheeks were almost like plum, warm and soft to the touch. Mellara allowed her hands to slowly drift across his short silver hair, almost glistening like gems as she threaded through them. His small body was getting stronger, growing into a young man sooner or later. The bitter taste in Mellara’s tongue echoed with harsh abandon. How her boy has grown, not so little anymore as she had last seen him a year before.

But her duty at court, to Rhaenyra, had caused her such little time around her young son. Though it had broken her heart to part with her young boy, Mellara Targaryen knew that the court was no home for the innocent. Especially so if such innocence was to be swept away by wicked vultures who will do nothing but claw at her boy the moment she is not looking. 

Blackhall is where he is safe, protected away from the gaze of those who could harm him. Along with his small dragon, Aelyx, named after the Valyrian goddess of war. They will grow much more together. That she was truly so sure of. And soon enough, she was sure he would meet his father. The father that he did not know, the father that did not know of him. Viserys had warned her of telling Daemon, just as he had with all her letters. Most certainly at Otto’s beckoning.

“Is he still tired from the journey?” Mellara questions her mother, her attention all on the young boy.

“I believe so.” Her mother nodded. “He is like an angel, he is. The moment I stepped in, I was immediately calmed.”

Mellara could not help but smile, her tension slowly drifting away. “Indeed he is. He has always been an angel. The first moment I held him.”

Elaena grinned. “I still cannot believe that such a rogue as Daemon Targaryen would be able to produce such an innocent angel.”

These many years ago, her beloved Daemon had abandoned Dragonstone to join their cousin Rhaenys and her husband Corlys to war in the Stepstones. The news had devastated Mellara as her lover had not allowed her to join him in his venture to war. Mayhaps it was not to worry her, mayhaps it was to prevent her from following him into certain harm. But it had broken her heart, crashing into pieces, that he did not want her by his side. Yet she knew she was being foolish. Daemon had done this to protect her and their child.

Daemon Targaryen told her everything about his plans, his ventures. She was his most trusted council, one that kept his secrets close to her heart – safe in lock and key. She spoke nothing of it to Viserys when he had ordered for her return to the capital. She would not betray him, nor his secrets. For his secrets are her own and her own, his.  

That night, they did nothing but be in each others arms. Without words, without bitterness or distance. Just a wanting for the warmth of the other against the other’s skin. Mayhaps because it had been such a perfect night, one where such memories drift to her with warmth at each return to the same stop. Daemon Targaryen did not wish to ruin the night, if it were to be the last they would ever share together. Rather, he awoke the earliest he could and kissed her farewell and quietly drifted into the forlorn sky with Caraxes. 

Soon after his war began in the Stepstones, Mellara Targaryen had swell heavy with their blossoming child. All of it had been both a miracle and a surprise. But Mellara would not have it any other way. Even with all that she had been through, with her babe being a difficult one to live with, blending along with her grief from the loss of her lover; Mellara was certain all of it had been worth it. When Viserys had found out, it had been a bitter situation. Mellara had wanted to fly to the Stepstones herself to tell him of such wonderful news. It was what would make him happy. His child was to be here. She was to have a child of his own blood, his own heir. Yet none had been happy of it, lest of all Viserys and his hounds.

Especially Otto himself, who has been eagerly asking for her hand in marriage ever since Daemon’s absence. In each response and rejection, he had all but told her that it would be the best course of action. She was after all, just as much abashed with pride that she was with child in wedlock. Viserys had said she would be looked down upon by the masses. A bastard child was not meant to be celebrated. Yet Mellara had not felt an ounce of guilt. She had done it before, had carried a piece of her beloved with her and she would do it again. Bastard or not, she did not care. It was Daemon’s child growing inside of her. That is all that mattered in the end. That the child was a proof of their love.

Throughout the pregnancy, she wished for her lover to be with her. For him to witness the life they had created together grow and yearn to meet his father and mother. But even then, Mellara was truly alone. Alone in the prospect of life to live, uncertain if Daemon would actually return.At almost every turn, her tears blistered her reddening eyes each and everyday calling for Daemon. Wishing for him to be beside her, to hold her hand, to pepper her with kisses. Mellara cried and cried, almost losing her life at the birth of her darling son. She wept, wishing to see him once more if it was the gods willing her towards life beyond death.

Her babe along with her, with the harsh breaching of her babe’s position, lacked the ability to breathe. But after a long fever, she had survived and had cradled her darling boy in her arms – crying happy tears. He looked every bit like his father, from the cradle of his hair to the way his lips twitched upon his every smile. The way his dark purple gaze sparkled the way his own father did. Mellara was so happy to have a piece of her heart back. Aemon Targaryen, she had named him after her father and the love of her life. Aemon the Fortunate, her mother calls him. Mellara smiled so fondly, she couldn't agree more. He was perfect, so beautiful – her dear Aemon. Her son. Their son.

“I want him to come home.” Mellara whispers to her mother, her face contorted in sorrow. “To be with us. So that we can be a family, a true family.”

“Soon my child, it shall be granted.” Her mother whispers to her, standing up and wrapping his arms at the small of her daughter’s back. “It shall be okay.”

Mellara nodded, thanking her mother.

Mellara Targaryen whispered a prayer.

‘Take him home to me, to us. Please.’

It was hard for Daemon Targaryen to see anything, the blinding gray had been upon him. All he could see was cold abandoned cobbles and broken towers. The sight of the Trident beckoned him, flowing ceaselessly with calm. He had not known why he was here, why he was alone. Blinking, Daemon felt the smell of ash and flame pile across his position, the smell of burning flesh was something he had already known too well – from endless loss bitterly whispering into the air like the falling flakes of winter snow. 

Pursing his lips into a line, his jaw hardened at the possibilities that gathered in his head. For a moment, from where he stood – he saw her. Her long flowing silver locks fell through her thighs like endless silk beckoning elegant grace as it moved to fall. The smile on her face is ghostly, and yet so profound. It had been a while since he had dreamt of her, had yearned for her so dearly enough for her to visit him.

Dressed in all white, she gathered her body towards him at a walking pace. Not breaking eye contact through her journey towards him, she giggled at him. Oh, how he yearned for that sound. To see it again, even in a dream, sustained him. At her soft whispering of his name, he feels his heart gasp humanity towards him again. These many years of longing for her. Wanting to be in her arms again, Daemon ran to her and his arms opened to lock her onto himself. To gather her into his being, to mold them together again. 

Daemon Targaryen had thought of leaving this war, of returning with nothing – for the sake of having her whisper sweet nothings upon his ear as he fell asleep. To see her silhouette grace the shadows of morning dew. The sight of lilac eyes beckoning him home had kept tempting him over and over. But he knew that if he left, he would not be able to face her. He would not be able to honor her in the way that she deserves. Daemon does not wish for it. He must come home. But he will come home fulfilled in his quest. With victory that could bring him closer to his dream of her. Soon, that will be true.

Placing a kiss upon his cheek, Mellara smiled towards him again and touched her stomach, letting the right hand press upon her belly. Daemon took a moment, his mouth opening agape. But she did not speak. Rather she moved towards him again and kissed him and then embraced him tightly. It all had happened swiftly but soon enough turned her attention to the sky. Perplexed, he gazed at her quizzically but she did not gaze back, merely staying affixed at the sky. 

Daemon let his curiosity fill him as he too looked up in the sky. Over and over again, the winds swept through like a hurricane. Mellara did not look flustered as she watched the shadows grace the ground move over and over. She would look up into the sky as two shadows fought through the darkness and blew away the greenery with its strong winds. The breeze blew with malice, Daemon yielded down to protect himself from the sweeping air with both his arms, feeling the same Valyrian steel armor he wore become like a shell so heavy. Mellara though kept gazing upward, without fail or fear. Daemon furrowed his brows with worry, pulling her down with him and placed his body to cover her. Mellara laughed.

“Why are you laughing?” He asked her, a worried tone beckoned him. “Mellara, my little dragon.”

“You will know, Daemon.” Mellara whispered to him, her free hand cupping his cheek. “Soon enough.”

'Mother!' He heard a heavily hoarse voice shout. Mellara pointed and Daemon turned to see the same crown of silver grace on the head of a young man and the same gaze of cold violet summer looked back at him. Daemon watched as the young man threw his ring mail and his armor away; only retaining a sword at the hilt. Running quickly, the man had ridden a dragon, one of shining scarlet and charcoal black readying itself towards the rider. Soon enough they were upward but Daemon could still hear it all. 'Mother!'

As though he had done it a dozen times before, the rogue prince let his feet charge him onwards. When Mellara walked towards him so calmly as he stood and watched the youngster gaze up into the sky, he suddenly realized who he was calling to after initially wondering who he was calling to. With such ferocity, the monsters were soaring far over him as he called to them. He turned to Mellara, gazing at the same dragon’s eyes she had from far across the distance.

Daemon could not help it but notice a cold looking man with long locks, almost whitening like moonlight. He has one eye, gazing at him. But there was yet to be fear in the woman he had loved. Atop Blacknight, the other Mellara hardened her gaze. Pale as milk, he could see her almost laying on top of the burnt leather helplessly.

He saw as one of the dragons lowered itself through the air. He saw her again, much clearer this time around, lines of wrinkles filled her face. Sweat drenched her, blood spreading through her abdomen. With lilac eyes and long silver hair, dressed blooded white as blood spread through her skin that was basked in moonlight. Dragon fire beamed from its dark vicious mouth, mercilessly aiming towards the other dragon. Just behind her was the lad he had seen before. 

His was black with hints of red staining its scales that reminded Daemon of endlessly flowing blood. It was fearsome, more angry. The dragon was big but not as big as the other two. It was young, Daemon concluded. A young breed of dragon. Soon enough, the boy with his eyes managed to catch up with the massive dragon, yelling a command of attack.

The flames burnt the cold stone covered plain into a burning pot, even though it seemed like fantasy, Daemon Targaryen felt the warmth and heat shiver down his skin. Was this like the breath of Balerion? It was so hot that he felt like he was going to have no more flesh and instead only have ashes. Her dragon flew past. Soon enough the beckoning of burning flames surrounded her, the young lad and his dragon were too far apart. A widened scream released from her lips, shrilling like a thousand loud glass shattering. Daemon felt his eyes widen, fear in his eyes as her own dragon was pierced by cold metal arrows as massive as a great sword. Nay, it was even more than that.

The dragon with blackened wings sang a sharp cry as the pain echoed through the dragon’s body. Her dragon spun around the sky, screeching as it struggled through the pain, fighting hard to break free. Flames released from its mouth as it echoed a cry, the man with one eye gazed with horror at what he was seeing. It seemed that he had not expected it nor did he wished for it to happen. He called Mellara’s name, beckoning his dragon to her as her eyes ghastly in paleness as the dragon staggered into the oblivion of the cloudy skies. Daemon ran, chasing the darkened beast as tears flew across his eyes. He too started to call out Mellara’s name, until he was hoarse from screaming. He dashed across the plains, watching the skies unfold.

'’Aunt!' The man with the one eye cried as he determinedly flew towards the woman as his dragon followed his command. '’Aunt, come hither! Take my hand!”

'Mother….' Daemon heard the boy whisper as he flew lower, watching the dragon and her rider fall, almost like a shooting star.The boy called to man dragonrider with one eye, as Mellara finally raised her head, almost as though she knew that this was it.

There was sorrow in his one eye, desperation even. 'Fly me over, aunt. Please.'

She shook her head, whispering things Daemon could not hear.

Shutting her eyes close, she took a deep breath.

Gasping heavily to the sound of loud voices, Daemon Targaryen felt the sound of men’s screams and cries beckoned against Seasmoke’s flames. Blinking, he looked towards where he lay, Corlys Velaryon had been sitting across from him. The Seasnake’s brother is waiting by the tent’s entrance. The smell of blood and mud, of dirt and smoke continued to be felt. Much he could feel upon his body too. He concluded that he had perhaps fallen into deep sleep after the battle. A battle that was still finding conclusion as Seasmoke roared viciously the flames of burning dawn.

Daemon could not recall what had happened, especially after he had slain the Crabfeeder. But that did not matter. None of that had mattered when his thought lingered to Mellara. To his beloved little dragon. To that dream he had quickly began to loathe. His dream was filled with dread. The greatest fears he could not fathom, he would not fathom. And yet, to dream of it; he shook his head in defiance, beckoning his body forward. It was not real. It was never real. This one is where he had awoken. Mellara Targaryen was safe, far away in the capital. And so was his son, wrapped in his mother’s comfort.

“Oh, you are awake.” Corlys echoed as Daemon silently placed his boots on. “I did not expect you to fall to exhaustion.”

“I did not sleep very well.” Daemon says, tying the strings of the boots and its leather shine. “It happens.”

The Seasnake snickers. “Not in your case, though. I can see it now, the pesky courtiers whispering behind your back chanting ‘Sleepy Prince’.”

“Let them.” Daemon whispers under his quiet laughter. “They ought to be thanking me for breaking this trouble away. Their merchants won’t have to disturb them any longer for reprieve.”

“Hmm, am I to be one of those lords?” Corlys questioned, a intrigued gaze upon his cousin. “Am I to grovel at your feet and praise you, wise conqueror?”

The laughter of the prince boomed loudly as he dipped his hands towards the hot basin of water, his boots tightly secured on his feet. Daemon let the water fathom his face, almost building constellations as he washed. Soon, the water graced his arms, vanquishing the remainder of the blood from the area. As the water trickled down,  Daemon had realized that his scars had not fully healed. He snickered, reminding himself of Mellara’s contorted features. The very image of her being in grave worry was something she did not like, but Daemon found the way her features represented them had made him fond of seeing her in such a state and soon the way it would contort in anger for putting himself in danger.

Daemon Targaryen had felt it all washed through him, such realizations. This would soon be over, the war would dwindle away. Soon enough, she would have been in his arms again. Her and their child. The child he had so longed for, with her. Daemon walked towards the dried cloth on the side, left for him by his servant. Drying his upper body, he could feel Corlys Velaryon’s gaze pierce through his body in the moment he was waiting for Daemon to reply. Daemon grins as he throws the soiled cloth onto the side and stands before Corlys. The Seasnake slowly gazed upwards, measuring the prince’s gaze.

“No.” Daemon says to the lord of Driftmark. “You would not have to grandiose me with falsities.”

“Oh? Then what does this rogue prince want?”

“I want Mellara.” Daemon says to the lord, his voice domineering. “See to it that my brother releases her to join me here. With our son. I want them both with me.”

“I see.” Corlys says, standing from his position. “And what would you have them do here?”

“Rule.” Daemon exclaimed, turning away from the lord. “By my side.”

“As you wish.” He nodded at Daemon, who seemed satisfied.

“Oh, there is one thing other than that.”

“What is it?” Corlys questioned.

Daemon turned and gathered a small dagger, one he had taken from the Crabfeeder’s rotting body. It had been Valyrian steel, filled with magnanimous lines of stories written in small scripts. Corlys quickly realized the text read, in old Valyria’s tongue. He looked at Daemon, who smirked.

“What would you have me do with this?”

“Have it sent to Elmo Tully.” Daemon says, his voice filled with charming malice. “Tell him of my regard for him.”

Corlys Velaryon could see the shine in his dark purple eyes as it filled with want and malice all at once. There was endless fire within him, not ready to burn out just yet.  But Daemon had not said anything else. Corlys did not say another word as Daemon Targaryen turned away from him and towards the exit of the tent. The cheering of men and the clanking of armor and steel echoed loudly. The fervor of respect and adoration for the rogue prince continued to drift into a resounding coral of the men singing praises, singing the song of bards about the prince. Corlys was certain that things would change now, with the new fervor of life beckoning towards him, a man slowly gaining more wanting – a purpose to live beyond the one he had always known.

Gods be good, Corlys prayed.

Gods be good to all of them.

For there will be much fire and blood.

[arasakas-ronin]

Saburo Arasaka: writing advice and analysis

Disclaimer: I've not dug deeply into Saburo (by my standards - it means I've only been through most of the TTRPG lore, rather than obsessively following every single trace I could find). Still, I think I have a good grasp on him, and I figured I’d share what I have. As always, feel free to disregard anything that doesn’t vibe with your HC!

TL;DR: Writing Saburo

Whenever you're unclear about "how would Saburo…," check how things were done in the Meiji era. (that's what I'm doing :D)

Japan first and foremost

Arasaka Saburo is the only major character in Cyberpunk who has no localization at all – he exclusively speaks Japanese.

He understands English (see board meeting), but he sees it as beneath him and would never.

To access the upper echelons of Arasaka, a character must understand Japanese (translationsoft will probably do).

He has nothing but scorn and condescension for America.

Wiping Night City from the map is absolutely an option for him.

Mannerisms

Saburo treats everyone like dirt (for details see below).

If a proverb or idiom exists for what he wants to say, he will use it.

Rules don't apply to him except for those he chose for himself (meaning: Japanese tradition as of ~Meiji era, but with a personal spin).

If something is perfect, don't change it. In Saburo's world, most things are perfect. (For him.)

He is honourable (by the standard of feudal Japan. A Western reading will deviate).

He does not lie, that is beyond him.

He is evil, but most definitely Lawful evil.

The only thing that can stop him if he wants something is his own codex of honour.

He pretty much owns Japan – there are own laws for corpo executives (read: Arasaka).

He uses profanities (see his conversation with Shintaro Takayama about Project Five — the profanity at the Arasaka Board Meeting is implied by translation, not a literal one.)

Interactions

He unconditionally backs Hanako.

He's hugely disappointed by Yorinobu.

Anyone at Arasaka is his underling and minion, cogs in the machine he created.

Peak ambition should be to be the best possible cog.

Working for Arasaka is an honour for his employees.

Meeting him in person is an honour for his employees.

He has no patience for bootlicking. Show your proper respect by bowing and -sama-ing, then get on with it.

If he is refused the proper respect, he will not remark on it, probably even laugh (see V's 'Johnny sends his regards' sentence). However, if this occurs in public, he will. Get. Even. (As for how far he would go, this is the guy who weaponized meteors.)

Background and motivation

Saburo was born into a wealthy family (*1919[1]), and groomed to take over the business from a young age, which he did when he was around ~40 years old. He's used to being a figure of absolute authority, people unquestioningly obeying his orders, and he is above etiquette and protocol.

Since he gets very little direct exposure, let's look at him through the relationships with the people around him:

Saburo and Kei

Perhaps not by coincidence, his biography is a mirror image of his firstborn son's life, Kei (1980-2023), who succeeded him as CEO of Arasaka. (In perfect compliance with Japanese tradition, Retired Emperor Saburo kept calling the shots behind the scenes.)

In 2023, at the age of 43 and as a consequence of the 4th Corpo War, Kei 'committed seppuku' (read: Spider Murphy Soulkilled him with his consent, but he hasn't resurfaced in any way that impacts events in 2077). By contrast, after Japan's surrender in WW2 (15th of August 45, he was 26), Saburo vowed to wash the stain from his honour by committing seppuku himself - and failed (well, he noticed that he was the one to restore Japan and thus foregoing his heart’s wish for the sake of duty, but...).

I think this failure is a formative experience for him, and he probably sees himself eclipsed by Kei. While on the one hand he's proud as foretold ("I made this"), on the other hand Saburo isn't second to anyone.

Saburo and Hanako

There's a Japanese idiom for someone like Hanako: 'girl in a box', a daughter who has been raised protectively. Hanako is the apple of Saburo's eye, she influences his decisions. But how much influence does she have?

Imho: a metric fuckton.

Here's what I base it on:

Takemura-san, at the Yakitori booth

(Saburo showed a weakness) For his daughter. When Yorinobu formed his band of hounds, declared war on his own family, Arasaka-sama could have crushed him with one word. Yet he did not. For he did not wish his daughter to suffer. When Yorinobu returned, his tail between his legs, she persuaded her father to give him a second chance. Do you understand? Hanako-sama saved Yorinobu from the consequences of his deeds.

Saburo's diary [2]

I shared this thought with Hanako - she thinks I shouldn't do that. I usually defer to her opinion.

Of course, "usually defer to her opinion" doesn't sound like much. After all, during Yorinobu's exile, she vowed to one day be free of Saburo and do her own thing after his death. Saburo is an evil tyrant, and she just wants to get rid of him… right? I think it's more complex than that, because at the first chance she gets, Hanako rushes to bring him back. That makes no sense at all – unless we assume that "usually" mans "always".

I see this conclusion backed up by another tidbit of in-game dialogue, at Embers:

Hanako: I know my place. And I have no wish to change it. V: No wish to? Or no permission? You bein' a woman. Hanako: I decide my own fate. As should you. (She doesn't approve of the question.)

The way I read her reaction, she is fully in control of her life at that point, and by suggesting that she's not, V stepped on her toes.

So here we have the textbook villain - who defers to his daughter and backs her unconditionally:

V: Made a deal with Hanako, not you. Saburo: ほう。それはどうかな (subtitle: Ah. Is this what you think?)

and

Michiko: Arasaka-sama, what is your command? Saburo: ハナコの指示に従え (subtitle: To follow Hanako’s orders.) Saburo: ハナコの発す言葉は、すべて私の言葉同然だ (subtitle: You will treat every word she speaks as if it came from my lips.)

By standards of traditional Japan, it is extremely unusual for a woman to hold any power outside of her traditional domain, the house (for a nice documentation of residual misogyny in writing, see [9] or [10] for a more emotional take, for further intel, see [11]). This is one of the places where Saburo warps reality: proper Japanese tradition would have Hanako secluded and confined to the house, where it's 'safe'. Yet since shes his daughter and thus automatically more competent than anyone else (who may be male, but is not his immediate offspring), he expects everyone to bow to her authority. I'm fairly certain that heads would have rolled for the way the board of directors treated Hanako if Yorinobu hadn't beaten him to it.

Saburo and Yorinobu

I read Yorinobu and Saburo as very alike from their personality, which is why they conflict so much. I have next to no evidence for this headcanon, but here's what I got:

According to TTRPG lore, Saburo didn't want to kill Yorinobu after he ran off to be a gangoon. That was Kei's idea, and he agreed 'reluctantly' (quote from wiki, no primary source)

According to Takemura, Hanako talked him out of "crushing" his son twice

Finally, there's a fragment of one of his speeches (Devil ending:)

祖父はよく、「枯れ落ちた花は枝に戻らない」と言っていました (My grandfather once told me, "A fallen flower cannot return to its branch.")

Sabu-chan: Challenge accepted, ojiisama.

Over a century later, Saburo remembers that statement well enough to disprove it during a press conference in front of the world. In traditional Japan, this is an even stronger rebellion than running away from home to have your own gang – grandparents don't make mistakes, and if they do, you'd best pretend they didn't, because your family will lose face if you don't! Yet Saburo doesn't care.

Saburo is static. There is no need to change what is already perfect, and for him, most things are quite perfect. Yorinobu sums it up nicely during his phone call on Evelyn's braindance:

My father is a tired, visionless old greybeard who thinks nothing will change and he'll live forever in his tiny, frozen bubble! You will listen to this - Saburo is an addled despot utterly removed from reality, stuck in some fossilized vision of a world that no longer exists! Of a world that may never have existed! We have not seen eye to eye for the last twenty years. I am quite sure we won't now.

And yet, this here lies on Saburo’s desk:

Relationships outside the core family:

Saburo and Silverhand

This is going to come as a shock for no one except for Johnny, but Arasaka's archenemy #1 is… actually mostly forgotten. Diary[2]:

119/77 The further I am from home, the more my memories become sharpened, more acute. The faces of old enemies are suddenly thrown into relief. Even J.S. - I almost completely forgot about him.

I have no idea if Pondsmith did that on purpose, but an American using an atomic bomb for acts of terrorism against a Japanese corporation sends... quite the message. I’m certain he knows his name, and I’m also certain that at that time, the conflict was deeply personal for Saburo.

Saburo and America

By the end of the Pacific War (太平洋戦争, Taiheiyō Sensō – or, as the West would call it, World War 2), Japan was literally down to bamboo spears. [6][7] Regardless, America still felt the need to atom bomb them into submission. Saburo had served as a pilot (rank Lieutenant) in the Imperial Japanese Navy (日本海軍, Nihon Kaigun), where he had had 20 confirmed kills by the age of 23. [1]

Now let's look at Militech. In his diary[2], Saburo writes:

118/77 Militech have outdone themselves. This is not just a port, but a fortress. But the atoll is of no interest to me - it is what lies in the depths. I know what they hide. We should pay a tribute - five shots for every one of ours that lies on the seabed. The only thing that restrains me from giving the order is mercy for the innocents working on the port - I will spare them the panic and anguish with our missiles. So rest well, Ye Fallen. Ne'er again will Ye be awoken with a BANG!

Two things stand out in the paragraph above:

"Militech have" is Britishised – the American version would be "Militech has". By contrast, Takemura-san uses the latter for Arasaka. This might simply be due to different people writing the things and not at all significant.

while the last line does sound like he's quoting classic poetry, I've come up blank trying to find whatever he could be quoting. I don't quite know what to make of this, other than more mockery?

I am assuming that Saburo carries some sort of lasting trauma from WW2. My evidence is circumstantial and twofold. First of all, I've not heard of a single veteran of WW2 who didn't, and second of all, just look at the guy. Now look at the 4th Corpo War through this lens! Is it a surprise that Arasaka went to whatever length necessary? They and Militech were throwing meteors at each other. I read that war as an attempt of Saburo to reenact WW2 with a better result. Yet the second attempt failed, and his firstborn son was the final casualty. I can only imagine how much that must still burn.

I see Arasaka's role as world-dominating corporation as an attempt to create a world as it would be if Japan had never lost the war.

He has nothing but contempt for Westerners, as evident when he talks to Yorinobu:

資様こそ、自分が何をしようとしたかわかっているのか?私たちの功績を野蛮人に渡すなど・・・私たちの未来を (subtitle: And do you think it "original" to sell our greatest achievement to Westerners - our future to these… barbarians?!)

野蛮人 (yabanjin) is… really not a nice word to use. At all. V's dialogue at Embers suggests that Yorinobu wanted to sell the relic to NetWatch. (Edit: that information can be found on Yorinobu’s computer in the Konpeki penthouse)

Even his clusterfuck of a relationship with Yorinobu can be laid to Militech's feet. If Kei hadn't died (their/America's fault), he wouldn't have had reason to tell Yorinobu the truth, and they would never have fallen out over it. (I don't think this is anything he's conscious about, but it may well influence him.) Adding insult to injury, Yorinobu then hangs out in Night City of all places!

And finally, to sum up Saburo's opinion on America, let's have a direct quote:

121/77 I see the coastline. Strange - in my memories the city seemed larger. If I wanted to, i could wipe it off the map in under ten minutes. I shared this thought with Hanako - she thinks I shouldn't do that. I usually defer to her opinion. But if the Relic somehow fell into the wrong hands, maybe it would be better to bury it among the ashes of NC? Until we talk to Y, I will hold off on a firm decision.

(Saburo's diary)[2]

(Headcanon: For reasons of drama, I fancy that he never forgave the USA for pikadon (the atomic bomb), and that this trauma rubbed off on his bodyguard. Writing-wise, it puts Takemura and Johnny forever at odds – because the terrorist did use dirty nukes on Japanese corposlaves.)

Saburo and Takemura

Other than his daughter, his bodyguard must be the person who knows Saburo best - simply by quantity of exposure. However, what's their real relationship?

Exhibit 1: Food

During reconnaissance, you can suggest take-out food. Takemura's reaction:

Takemura: If I had time and ingredients, I would prepare some onigiri with cod... or with grilled salmon. No. Even better. With umeboshi plums. Mm. Arasaka-sama's favorite appetizer. Simple, tasty and filling. (He smiles.) I found him chewing once, pride on his face. It was a protein bar. V: Saburo Arasaka with a protein bar? Get outta here.... Takemura: Like a true soldier. (He clearly approves.)

This is a good memory for him.

Exhibit 2: Freudian Slip (or uchi-soto)

TL;DR: Nobody in the entire game is as informal towards Saburo as his own bodyguard. Skip to "Saburo and the general public".

Prequisite: 本音 (honne) and 建前 (tatemae) In Japanese (business) culture, there is a strong divide between the public face (tatemae) and the private, true feelings (honne).[3] Most prominently, this is displayed by Hanako, whose honne we see exactly once (on the dashi float, when she thinks she's alone). As a high-context culture, using the correct version of politeness (and the omission of which) is extremely telling and can change the entire meaning of a conversation - think tone tags.

In addition, the Japanese language has 4 levels of grammar-indicated tone tags: informal, formal, respectful, and humble. (This is a gross oversimplification, but for the scope of this, it will do.) Saburo only uses informal speech.[4] In a business context, this is rude and/or outright offensive.

That's why I'm evaluating the degree of informality from Takemura-san towards Saburo so highly.

In Tom's Diner, the following dialogue takes place:

V: Why're you looking for Hellman? Takemura: He was the one to alert Saburo-san to Yorinobu's schemes. He knew both of them well and could be an important witness.

This is the only occurrence of "Saburo-san" in the game's subtitles. And it's a familiar way of addressing him, roughly (again, simplified) equivalent to the way he addresses Oda (sama -> san <=> san -> no suffix).

(Of course, this might also be uchi-soto: if Takemura considers V an outsider here, social etiquette would expect him to honour the outgroup by humbling the ingroup. I expect The Immortal Emperor to be the exception from the rule, but I have nothing to go on but gut feelings, and given that I’m from a different cultural background, I have decided to go with the Freudian Slip interpretation myself.)

On-screen, Takemura says all of two sentences to Saburo:

Takemura: アラサカ様、まだボディチェックが終わっていません (Arasaka-sama, I still haven't done a full sweep.) Saburo: 私の息子だ (This is my son.) Takemura: 例のモノを回収しましょうか・・・? (Of course. Should I retrieve what we come here to…?) Saburo: 私がやる。行ってくれ (I will handle it. You may go.)

According to a native speaker I had queried, he's using neither Teneigo nor Keigo, so he would have two levels of formality left to escalate to for the sake of politeness.

By contrast:

Hanako to Saburo:

Hanako: 行きましょう… 彼女がバカなことをしでかす前に (subtitle: We should go... before (s)he does something stupid.)

the term "行きましょう" is keigo (but apparently very widely-used). On top of that, she's addressing him as お父様 (otōsama) rather than お父さん (otōsan).

Takemura to Wakako:

Takemura タケムラゴロです*。オカダさん、お会いできて光栄です (subtitle: Goro Takemura. The honor is mine, Okada-san.)

*Whyever his name is written in katakana – that's generally used to transcribe not-Japanese words phonetically.

He is addressing her in keigo, which is the maximum level of formality, and using humble speech (which is why she's so delighted by his manners, he's dishing out in full - being a million times more respectful to the local oyabun than he is to his own boss. A breach of etiquette that would get him fired, unless... they're on friendly terms.) He could have been more polite and this is appropriate for a business meeting, but it stands out as a contrast to the informality with Saburo.

Saburo and the general public

The Immortal Emperor is too important for etiquette, he simply can't be arsed (as evident by him constantly using informal Japanese and omitting suffixes, even in a business context.) And everyone has to smile and pretend that he's fine, because nobody in the whole world is powerful enough to stand up for him and demand the respect that protocol would have him pay them.

Saburo was instrumental in fighting corruption and poverty in his country (check the 'Pacific Rim' sourcebook for details).

Conjecture: Regarding royalty: I can see him dismissing any tenno simply based on the fact that they are not Showa (formerly known as Hirohito). If Jikyoku Tenno still rules, Saburo will likely reject her simply based on her sex: before her predecessor changed the law to permit female monarchs, her rule would have been illegal, and Saburo is a stickler for tradition. (It's not unprecedented [8], but partriarchy be patriarchy. And of course Hanako is a completely different case, mmmhkay?)

It is probably safe to say that he pretty much owns Japan, although he doesn't particularly care to. The government will take great care never to inconvenience him or challenge his power base inside of Arasaka. As long as they leave him alone, he leaves them alone, and they know that Saburo has both the longer breath and the bigger gun. End Conjecture

A prime example of being disrespectful is him talking to Barreto - he calls him ハヘット (omitting -san). (His use of "お前" seems to be okay in context.[5]) It gets even more specific: he says and the subtitles read "ハヘット" ("hahetto") rather than "バレット" ("barretto"). I'm assuming this is not coincidence.

(Let's have the whole statement, because it's just too beautiful:)

ハヘット。お前がミリテクとの全面戦争を憂慮していた時、私はこう言ったはずだ (Barreto, I told you this once before, when you feared all-out war with Militech) お前には3つのものが欠けている。自信、知性、そして根性だ* (You lack three things - confidence, intelligence and a dick.)

*literally "guts". I suppose it means "dick" by context? Takemura finds it funny, though.

Saburo has transcended death, etiquette, and grammar. Not bad.

[1] https://cyberpunk.fandom.com/wiki/Saburo_Arasaka_A_Giant%27s_Life [2] https://cyberpunk.fandom.com/wiki/Diary_(117-121/77) [3] https://workinjapan.today/work/demystifying-honne-and-tatemae/ [4] https://gogonihon.com/en/blog/keigo-the-honorific-speech-in-japanese/ [5] https://www.fluentu.com/blog/japanese/you-in-japanese/ [6] https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2017/12/02/national/history/public-trained-stab-enemies-bamboo-spears/ [7] https://apnews.com/article/7c93b4deb317ffeb02c52035ead878fd [8] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empress_Go-Sakuramachi [9] https://ireadmuchofthenightblog.wordpress.com/2016/07/01/japanese-kanji-and-women/ [10] https://thetech.com/2020/03/12/kanji-sexism [11] https://www.joyokanji.com/radical-notes/38-woman-radical-%E5%A5%B3

[sakuranplays]

The Metamorphoses of Johnny Silverhand and V ~Orpheus~

As he sang these words to the music of his lyre, the bloodless ghosts were in tears : Tantalus made no effort to reach the waters that ever shrank away, Ixion's wheel stood still in wonder, the vultures ceased to gnaw Tityus' liver, the daughters of Danaus rested from their pitchers, and Sisyphus sat idle on his rock. Then for the first time, they say, the cheeks of the Furies were wet with tear, for they were overcome by his singing. The king and queen of the underworld could not bear to refuse his pleas. They called Eurydice.

~ Ovid's The Metamorphoses - Book X - Orpheus' Audience of Tartarus ~

Orpheus (Ὀρφεύς) was a legendary poet and musician from Thrace. It was said his beautiful voice and his musical ability with a lyre was so powerful that he could charm anyone including gods and his enemies. No one could resist his songs.

Until he saw a beautiful nymph named Eurydice, he found his destined muse and soulmate. They fell so deeply in love. But on their wedding day, his wife was killed by a serpent's bite.

The devastated musician descended the land of the underworld and plead for the life of his wife. Moved by his music, Hades and Persephone called the spirit of his wife and commanded that until they reached the land of the living; Orpheus must never look back.

A life for a life.

That was how Johnny Silverhand came to be when he just a boy who joined a war until someone sacrificed to save his worthless hide. Now even in his death, someone was dying because of him.

Being resurrected inside the body of a complete stranger as a digital construct of a different person was another form of living hell. But he made a terrible mistake. He almost killed both of them in his own delirium while he wrestled with her own thoughts, memories and fears.

Death loomed over their final destiny. The ghost of Johnny Silverhand turned into a ticking time bomb inside the most stubborn mercenary in Night City who swore to never trust him.

His beautiful thief was the mirror opposite of him in every ways. A woman who fought for her own freedom that eclipsed his own failed rebellion. Born into privilege only to embrace her new life as a nobody. Someone who was betrayed by her masters and when she sought vengeance; she lost everything including her own life.

But like two sides of the same coin; they were different but so similar. Both abandoned their past to survive in this world on their own terms. While he wanted to destroy those who caused so much injustice at any cost; V was the ruthless hand of justice. Not many escape from her judgement and execution. Either from her bare hands or her blade.

They even think alike except most of the time she would do the exact opposite of everything he told her to do. The woman have no ounce of self-preservation whenever she believe herself was right even when the odds stacked against her.

Always the hardest route and never the easiest ones. Life had scarred her enough that she refuse to convince herself otherwise. He can do nothing about it but watch the flames of her wrath from the shadows of her mind.

A trained killer who strike terror into the hearts of those in her path of destruction. A fearless dancer on a tightrope between life and death. But it was a different sort of horror especially to a gentle soul who had chosen this lonely life.

All she wanted was to save herself from becoming a ruthless monster they wanted her to be. She wanted to be herself in a world that constantly made her choose to sacrifice parts of her soul. She choose to be V. She wanted to be remembered as V.

V was this naive hopeful little thing who believe in goodness in others even the ones beyond redemption. She wanted to prove them all wrong even if it might end her. She have nothing left to lose anyway.

Her life was always about pain and suffering. Drowning inside a river of fate and uncertainty. It always drag her from anything and anyone she could hold onto. Losing control all over again. Everything fell apart, people died and she would be the one left to mourn each one of them. But this time, she lived with the consequences of her choices.

Her own death and the extra passenger who haunted her since. A dangerous unpredictable man who could crush her at will. A man who hated Arasaka to his core and found himself resurrected inside someone whose life was forged by Arasaka. What comes around goes around, as they said.

She wanted nothing to do with the foolish man burned the city to make himself feel better. Like him, his memories blended with hers. They shared dreams too. His nightmares became hers. She tasted his past as if she lived through it. The things he endured and what he felt. Even her left arm felt numb with phantom pains like she had lost it and replaced with a mechanical arm. She was becoming Johnny Silverhand and it was terrifying.

Her mind began to fade as his hold on her body grew stronger. Some days she wasn't sure whether she was herself. Whether if she could recognize herself in her own reflection.

While she can despise the person he was, the way the legendary Johnny Silverhand ruthlessly treated others and even just as he was ruthless to himself; she knew that underneath all the lies was a lonely man who carried a lot of unhealed grief, unresolved guilt and unending regret. She understood him in the same way he understood her.

As much as she wanted to hate him, it was beyond her not to feel a tiny bit of camaraderie. They were two people who did many terrible things but was given another chance at life.

How can she judge someone who had been punished for half a century for his mistakes and sheer stupidity? Especially when she was a foolish sinner herself.

She had long acknowledged her own sins. Lived many lives. Changed chains from one master to another. For six months, she tasted the sweetness of being freed. Free to be herself. Free to say what she wanted. Free to behave and dress how she wanted. Free to dream and be who she wanted. She rather die than allow herself to be caged again. She won't let a damaged resurrection tech or a dead rockerboy compromise who she was.

But it was up to him to decide which Johnny Silverhand that he wanted to be.

The rebel.

The rockerboy.

The man who saved her life.

In his life, he had destroyed so many lives that he knew he would never able to redeem himself from that even in death. It was by sheer chance that he was given this chance but he knew the cost was too great. For a man who have nothing, he knew what he need to do to save V. All roads lead back to Mikoshi.

Whatever he was now; a corrupted soul of a dead man. A damaged engram with faulty memories. It doesn't matter. There was nothing in this world for him to cling to. Rogue. Kerry. Everyone he cared about had moved on with their lives. He can never pretend like it was before. That nothing changed.

But he can change something for her.

V mattered to this world. She was too important for so many people who needed her in their lives. They needed her more than he did. Even if she can't see it herself. She even made him feel better. Enough that he found his own music again. She deserved to live more than he did.

The world had abused both them and thrown them away like they were nothing. Unlike him, V believed in more and will give up everything just to make it right. He was a rockerboy who never gave up but he must give up his hold on life just so she could keep on living. It will be like he wasn't there to begin with.

His life for hers.

Up the sloping path, through the mute silence they made their way, up the steep dark track, wrapped in impenetrable gloom, till they had almost reached the surface of the earth. Here, anxious in case his wife's strength be failing and eager to see her, the lover looked behind him, and straightway Eurydice slipped back into the depths. Orpheus stretched out his arms, straining to clasp her and be clasped; but the hapless man touched nothing but yielding air.

~ Ovid's Metamorphoses - Book X - Orpheus and Eurydice ~

[tybaltsjuliet]

nicky’s archetype playlists, 08/11: the damsel.

and there's a perfect kiss somewhere out in the dark, but a kiss ain't enough.

(listen.)

i. the only time i feel all right is by your side. all i ever wanted was a life in your shape (so i follow the white lines, follow the white lines, keep my eyes on the road, and i ache.)

somebody to love (queen) // i've just seen a face (jim sturgess; from across the universe) // when my boy walks down the street (the magnetic fields) // strawberry blond (mitski) // about a girl (the academy is...) // be my baby (the dollyrots) // stupid cupid (connie francis) // grand theft autumn/where is your boy (fall out boy) // all day and all of the night (the kinks)

ii. that james dean daydream look in your eyes. yeah, i got busted (so i used my one phone call to dedicate a song to you on the radio).

townie (mitski) // boys boys boys (lady gaga) // the dum dum ditty (the shangri-las) // you are the light (by which i travel into this and that) (jens lenkman) // style (taylor swift) // burning love (elvis presley) // crimson and clover (joan jett and the blackhearts) // leader of the pack (twisted sister) // a shark in jets clothing (blondie) // i think we're alone now (tiffany) // there is a light that never goes out (the smiths)

iii. when i say i love you, you say, "you better." in or out, there's never a doubt just who's pulling the strings. (i'm all tied up in you, but where's it leading me to?)

the book of love (the monotones) // don't you (forget me about me) (billy idol) // love my way (the psychedelic furs) // puppet on a string (sandie shaw) // the tide is high (blondie) // when i come around (green day) // you better you bet (the who) // my sharona (the knack) // heart-shaped glasses (when the heart guides the hand) (marilyn manson)

iv. lovefool. you said you'll never be forgiven till your boys are, too.

dance, dance (fall out boy) // lovefool (the cardigans) // heart of glass (blondie) // off to the races (lana del rey) // sweet sixteen (billy idol) // colors (halsey) // total eclipse of the heart (bonnie tyler) // speechless (lady gaga) // as the world falls down (david bowie) // heaven's gate (fall out boy) // love song ( lana del rey)

v. there's things i want to say to you, but i'll just let you live. our love was worth a real long try, and i was just trying to be worthy of your love. (but i want to see blood.)

killer (phoebe bridgers) // exit music for a film (radiohead) // every breath you take (the police) // drive (halsey) // cinnamon girl (lana del rey) // loveletting (sons of an illustrious father) // early sunsets over monroeville (my chemical romance) // you're my world (cilla black)

vi. did you ever love her, do you know, or did you never want to be alone? so can we be friends, sweetly before the mystery ends? (i love you more than the world can contain in its lonely and ramshackle head.)

something (himesh patel) // young and beautiful (lana del rey) // love of my life (queen) // jesus was a cross maker (judee sill) // girl in the war (josh ritter) // step (vampire weekend) // jet pack blues (fall out boy) // heartbreak beat (the psychedelic furs) // love love love (the mountain goats) // john my beloved (sufjan stevens)

vii. there's a place for us - you know, the movie song. i can't do everything, but i'd do anything for you. (i can't do anything except be in love with you.)

how to disappear (lana del rey) // the blower's daughter (damien rice) // i'll never be lonely again (ludo) // kissing you (des'ree) // lovesong (the cure) // sweet sir galahad (joan baez) // willow (taylor swift) // i'll be your girl (the decemberists) // friday i'm in love (the cure) // i melt with you (modern english) // bella notte (ruby summer)

+ bonus: in my life, we'll always go on (and on, and on, and on)! my heart will go on - in the style of jackie wilson (mykal kilgore + postmodern jukebox)

[angelhummel]

once again i spent hours of my life answering >5000 questions in order to sort almost all of the glee songs ever (there’s 683 songs in the sorter when there’s over 700 on the show) anyway if you wanna see my rankings for those then check it out <3 [also here’s the sorter!]

1 Being Alive 2 Rose's Turn 3 Baby, It's Cold Outside 4 Le Jazz Hot 5 Maybe This Time 6 And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going 7 Come What May 8 To Sir, With Love 9 As If We Never Said Goodbye 10 Valerie 11 Somewhere Only We Know 12 Cough Syrup 13 Teenage Dream 14 Not The Boy Next Door 15 It's Too Late 16 It's My Life / Confessions Part II 17 Start Me Up / Livin' On A Prayer 18 When I Get You Alone 19 The Happening 20 The Boy Is Mine 21 Home 22 Don't You Want Me 23 How Will I Know 24 Bad Romance 25 Not While I'm Around 26 Scream 27 Shake It Out 28 On My Own 29 Hate On Me 30 Bills, Bills, Bills 31 4 Minutes 32 True Colors 33 There Are Worse Things I Could Do 34 Go Your Own Way 35 Jessie's Girl 36 Proud Mary 37 Tongue Tied 38 Last Christmas 39 Somebody Loves You 40 Back To Black 41 Sweet Transvestite 42 For Good 43 At The Ballet 44 Gloria 45 Blame It (On The Alcohol) 46 Like A Prayer 47 So Emotional 48 Misery 49 Nasty / Rhythm Nation 50 Toxic 51 Don't Speak 52 Born This Way 53 Dog Days Are Over 54 Defying Gravity 55 Last Name 56 Womanizer 57 I Will Always Love You 58 Broadway Baby 59 The Lady Is A Tramp 60 I'm A Slave 4 U 61 Centerfold / Hot In Herre 62 Thriller / Heads Will Roll 63 Bust Your Windows 64 Candyman 65 Brave 66 Boys / Boyfriend 67 The Scientist 68 The Scientist (Acapella) 69 Dream On 70 Hey Jude 71 I Lived 72 I'm Still Here 73 I Believe In A Thing Called Love 74 Me Against The Music 75 Like A Virgin 76 My Man 77 Everybody Wants To Rule The World 78 I Have Nothing 79 Blackbird 80 Got To Get You Into My Life 81 Animal 82 3 83 I Follow Rivers 84 Just The Way You Are 85 Constant Craving 86 Don't Stop Me Now 87 Hung Up 88 Let's Have A Kiki 89 Love Shack 90 Marry The Night 91 Hit Me With Your Best Shot / One Way Or Another 92 It's Not Right, But It's Okay 93 I Want To Hold Your Hand 94 All You Need Is Love 95 Getting Married Today 96 Don't Rain On My Parade 97 Don't Stop Believin' (Regionals) 98 We've Got Tonite 99 Smooth Criminal 100 Uptown Girl 101 Sway 102 If I Die Young 103 No One Is Alone 104 Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee 105 No Scrubs 106 Mamma Mia 107 Papa Don't Preach 108 Teenage Dream (Acoustic Version) 109 Santa Baby 110 We Found Love 111 Roar 112 She's Not There 113 Spotlight 114 The Way You Look Tonight/You're Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile 115 Some Nights 116 Rumour Has It / Someone Like You 117 You Make Me Feel So Young 118 You Keep Me Hangin' On 119 I'll Stand By You (Amber) 120 Hand In My Pocket / I Feel The Earth Move 121 Crazy / U Drive Me Crazy 122 Funny Girl 123 Cold Hearted 124 Keep Holding On 125 Bye Bye Bye / I Want It That Way 126 I Know Where I've Been 127 I Kissed A Girl (Season Six) 128 Hopelessly Devoted To You 129 Homeward Bound / Home 130 Into The Groove 131 Hold On 132 Tell Him 133 Nutbush City Limits 134 Because You Loved Me 135 Perfect 136 Cherish / Cherish 137 Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah) 138 Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead 139 You Are The Sunshine Of My Life 140 Tik Tok 141 The Safety Dance 142 Oops!... I Did It Again 143 Run Joey Run 144 Time Warp 145 Something's Coming 146 Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go 147 The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face 148 Vogue 149 Downtown 150 Diva 151 Dancing With Myself 152 Rockstar 153 Wrecking Ball 154 We Are Young 155 I Saw Her Standing There 156 Jumpin', Jumpin' 157 Just Can't Get Enough 158 Take Me To Church 159 Wannabe 160 It's All Over 161 Take Me Home Tonight 162 If I Were A Boy 163 Landslide 164 Pompeii 165 The Bitch Is Back / Dress You Up 166 Christmas Wrapping 167 Buenos Aires 168 Call Me Maybe 169 You Can't Stop The Beat 170 Seasons Of Love 171 Safety Dance 172 Dream A Little Dream 173 Alfie 174 I Want To Break Free 175 Baby One More Time 176 A House Is Not A Home 177 Daydream Believer 178 I Don't Know How To Love Him 179 Hungry Like The Wolf / Rio 180 Suddenly Seymour 181 People 182 Silly Love Songs 183 Love Song 184 Shout It Out Loud 185 Some People 186 One Of Us 187 Sing! 188 Up Up Up 189 Torn 190 Popular 191 This Is The New Year 192 Paradise By The Dashboard Light 193 Let It Snow 194 Let It Be 195 Never Can Say Goodbye 196 Touch A Touch A Touch A Touch Me 197 La Isla Bonita 198 Tightrope 199 My Love Is Your Love 200 Love Is A Battlefield 201 Losing My Religion 202 Total Eclipse Of The Heart 203 This Time 204 I Dreamed A Dream 205 Leaving On A Jet Plane 206 Locked Out Of Heaven 207 Chandelier 208 Girl On Fire 209 Telephone 210 Don't Cry For Me Argentina 211 Human Nature 212 Halo / Walking On Sunshine 213 Anything Goes / Anything You Can Do 214 Make You Feel My Love 215 Stronger 216 Nowadays / Hot Honey Rag 216 Pumpin' Blood 218 Papa Can You Hear Me? 219 Summer Nights 220 Sweet Caroline 221 Superstition 222 We Will Rock You 223 Alone 224 Hello, I Love You 225 Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now) 226 A Hard Day's Night 227 Mine 228 My Prerogative 229 Beauty School Drop Out 230 My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It) 231 Extraordinary Merry Christmas 232 Every Breath You Take 233 Express Yourself 234 Everybody Talks 235 Everytime 236 Marry You 237 Moves Like Jagger / Jumpin' Jack Flash 238 My Favorite Things 239 Santa Claus Is Coming To Town 240 River Deep, Mountain High 241 My Life Would Suck Without You 242 Be Okay 243 Applause 244 Cool 245 All I Want For Christmas Is You 246 American Boy 247 Cell Block Tango 248 Breakaway 249 Don't Dream It's Over 250 Let Me Love You (Until You Learn To Love Yourself) 251 Whatever Happened To Saturday Night? 252 Without You 253 Science Fiction Double Feature 254 Loser Like Me 255 I Kissed A Girl 256 I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You 257 I Can't Go For That (No Can Do) / You Make My Dreams 258 Don't Stop Believin' (Season 5) 259 Empire State Of Mind 260 Old Time Rock & Roll / Danger Zone 261 Take My Breath Away 262 You Get What You Give 263 Take On Me 264 Beautiful 265 It's Time 266 ABC 267 Afternoon Delight 268 Don't Stand So Close To Me / Young Girl 269 Don't Stop Believin' (Season 1) 270 Colorblind 271 Cool Kids 272 Dancing Queen 273 Songbird 274 Somebody That I Used To Know 275 Singing In The Rain / Umbrella 276 I Feel Pretty / Unpretty 277 Borderline / Open Your Heart 278 In My Life 279 I'm Still Standing 280 Blow Me (One Last Kiss) 281 Do Ya Think I'm Sexy? 282 Do They Know It's Christmas? 283 Mustang Sally 284 Pinball Wizard 285 Anything Could Happen 286 America 287 Any Way You Want It 288 Higher Ground 289 Flashdance... What A Feeling 290 My Life 291 Let It Go 292 If I Can't Have You 293 L-O-V-E 294 Closer 295 Addicted To Love 296 Heroes 297 A Boy Like That 298 Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend / Material Girl 299 Holding Out For A Hero 300 Dinosaur 301 Disco Inferno 302 Party All The Time 303 Raise Your Glass 304 Push It 305 Lean On Me 306 Pure Imagination 307 Lovefool 308 Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' 309 Americano / Dance Again 310 All Of Me 311 At Last 312 Promises, Promises 313 Hair / Crazy In Love 314 Happy Xmas (War Is Over) 315 Chasing Pavements 316 Don't You (Forget About Me) 317 Love Child 318 School's Out 319 Poker Face 320 Boogie Shoes 321 Bootylicious 322 I Love New York / New York, New York 323 One Less Bell To Answer 324 Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours 325 Rehab 326 I Don't Want To Know 327 Shout 328 I'm The Greatest Star 329 I Love It 330 Never Say Never 331 Juke Box Hero 332 One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer 333 Glad You Came 334 For Once In My Life 335 Here Comes The Sun 336 Baby It's You 337 Drive My Car 338 Last Friday Night 339 Roots Before Branches 340 The Only Exception 341 Survivor / I Will Survive 342 All Or Nothing 343 Time After Time 344 You're The One That I Want 345 Yeah! 346 Starships 347 You've Got To Hide Your Love Away 348 Story Of My Life 349 Something 350 We Need A Little Christmas 351 Gold Digger 352 Beth 353 Fighter 354 Forget You 355 How To Be A Heartbreaker 356 Get Back 357 Love You Like A Love Song 358 There's A Light (Over At The Frankenstein Place) 359 We Got The Beat 360 Make 'Em Laugh 361 Sing 362 U Can't Touch This 363 Try A Little Tenderness 364 Pony 365 On Our Way 366 Lucky Star 367 Loser 368 Over The Rainbow 369 Outcast 370 Stop! In The Name Of Love / Free Your Mind 371 What Makes You Beautiful 372 Will You Love Me Tomorrow / Head Over Feet 373 Wide Awake 374 Wishin' And Hoping 375 Yesterday 376 Out Here On My Own 377 You're All The World To Me 378 Somethin' Stupid 379 Someday We'll Be Together 380 River 381 The Longest Time 382 Somebody To Love 383 The Edge Of Glory 384 The Most Wonderful Day Of The Year 385 Lucky 386 Memory 387 Mary's Boy Child 388 Longest Time 389 My Dark Side 390 Taking Chances 391 The First Noël 392 Smile 393 Celebrity Skin 394 All That Jazz 395 A Thousand Years 396 Big Girls Don't Cry 397 Ain't No Way 398 Don't Sleep In The Subway 399 Doo Wop (That Thing) 400 Don't Stop 401 Uptight (Everything's Alright) 402 New York State Of Mind 403 Turning Tables 404 Vacation 405 Fire 406 Hold It Against Me 407 I've Gotta Be Me 408 Endless Love 409 Run The World (Girls) 410 Saving All My Love For You 411 Give Up The Funk 412 I Am Changing 413 I Melt With You 414 I Could Have Danced All Night 415 Fat Bottomed Girls 416 Hot For Teacher 417 Never Going Back Again 418 Imagine 419 Jolene 420 Arthur's Theme 421 Damn It, Janet 422 Control 423 Barracuda 424 Copacabana 425 Barely Breathing 426 I Look To You 427 Come Sail Away 428 Jump 429 Clarity 430 Friday I'm In Love 431 Jar Of Hearts 432 It's Not Unusual 433 Footloose 434 Here Comes Santa Claus 435 Happy Days Are Here Again / Get Happy 436 Help! 437 Greased Lightning 438 Hell To The No 439 All Out Of Love 440 (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman 441 Candles 442 All By Myself 443 Hello Goodbye 444 It's A Man's Man's Man's World 445 I Say A Little Prayer 446 It Must Have Been Love 447 Just Give Me A Reason 448 Come See About Me 449 Born To Hand Jive 450 I Want To Know What Love Is 451 I Wish 452 I'll Remember 453 Get It Right 454 (I've Had) The Time Of My Life 455 I'll Stand By You (Cory) 456 Forever Young 457 A Change Would Do You Good 458 Smile (Charlie Chaplin song) 459 Best Day Of My Life 460 An Innocent Man 461 Dreams 462 All About That Bass 463 Home (originally by Michael Bublé) 464 Black Or White 465 Baby 466 Bad 467 Problem 468 Oh Chanukah 469 What Kind Of Fool 470 Wings 471 You're My Best Friend 472 You're All I Need To Get By 473 White Christmas 474 Whenever I Call You Friend 475 Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' 476 What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger) 477 Wedding Bell Blues 478 More Than A Feeling 479 More Than A Woman 480 Our Day Will Come 481 P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) 482 Here's To Us 483 Honesty 484 Hall Of Fame 485 It's All Coming Back To Me Now 486 Teach Your Children 487 Night Fever 488 What The World Needs Now 489 Listen 490 Let Me Love You 491 Live While We're Young 492 Light Up The World 493 Trouty Mouth 494 Werewolves Of London 495 Kiss 496 Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas 497 Movin' Out (Anthony's Song) 498 Mickey 499 Mean 500 Mercy 501 Merry Christmas Darling 502 Let's Wait Awhile 503 Man In The Mirror 504 Rather Be 505 Rise 506 Good Vibrations 507 Faithfully 508 Firework 509 How Deep Is Your Love 510 Fix You 511 Fire And Rain 512 Give Your Heart A Break 513 Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree 514 Little Girls 515 Cry 516 Bust A Move 517 Bridge Over Troubled Water 518 Bring Him Home 519 Cheek To Cheek 520 Break Free 521 As Long As You're There 522 Big Ass Heart 523 Bitch 524 Bamboleo / Hero 525 Away In A Manger 526 Deck The Rooftop 527 Christmas Eve With You 528 Angels We Have Heard On High 529 Creep 530 Crush 531 Make No Mistake, She's Mine 532 Lose My Breath 533 Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee (Reprise) 534 What I Did For Love 535 Wake Me Up 536 Thousand Miles 537 Take A Bow 538 Still Got Tonight 539 The Music Of The Night 540 Stereo Hearts 541 The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late) 542 Take Me Or Leave Me 543 I'm The Only One 544 Isn't She Lovely 545 I Just Can't Stop Loving You 546 I'll Never Fall In Love Again 547 Unchained Melody 548 You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch 549 You Have More Friends Than You Know 550 You Should Be Dancing 551 I'm His Child 552 You Learn / You've Got A Friend 553 Somewhere 554 So Far Away 555 Uptown Funk 556 The Winner Takes It All 557 They Long To Be Close To You 558 Tonight 559 Being Good Isn't Good Enough 560 You May Be Right 561 To Love You More 562 Don't Wanna Lose You 563 Do You Hear What I Hear? 564 Ice Ice Baby 565 Don't Go Breaking My Heart 566 Don't Make Me Over 567 I Won't Give Up 568 I'll Be Home For Christmas 569 I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For 570 I Still Believe / Super Bass 571 I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) 572 I Want You Back 573 Father Figure 574 Everybody Hurts 574 Gangnam Style 576 We Are The Champions 577 Stayin' Alive 578 Superman 579 The Rose 580 Don't Stop Believin' (Rachel) 581 Fly / I Believe I Can Fly 582 Gives You Hell 583 I Love L.A. 584 Mr. Roboto / Counting Stars 585 O Holy Night 586 Only The Good Die Young 587 One 588 Silent Night 589 Piano Man 590 Sexy And I Know It 591 Sgt. Pepper's Lonley Hearts Club Band 592 Pretending 593 Physical 594 Danny's Song 595 Stand 596 The Final Countdown 597 You Can't Always Get What You Want 598 You Are Woman, I Am Man 599 You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin' 600 Your Song 601 Say 602 No Air 603 Need You Now 604 No Surrender 605 Piece Of My Heart 606 Thong Song 607 Blurred Lines 608 Another One Bites The Dust 609 I Was Here 610 Bella Notte 611 I Know What Boys Like 612 God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen 613 Glory Days 614 Friday 615 More Than Words 616 Waiting For A Girl Like You 617 Welcome Christmas 618 You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) 619 You Give Love A Bad Name 620 We Built This City 621 Whistle 622 Who Are You Now? 623 You And I / You And I 624 Take Care Of Yourself 625 Tell Me Something Good 626 The Rain In Spain 627 Can't Fight This Feeling 628 Jingle Bell Rock 629 In Your Eyes 630 Hello 631 Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) 632 I Only Have Eyes For You 633 Jingle Bells 634 Joy To The World 635 I Wanna Sex You Up 636 Fight For Your Right (To Party) 637 Feliz Navidad 638 I'm So Excited 639 Uninvited 640 The Living Years 641 The Fox (What Does The Fox Say?) 642 O Christmas Tree 643 One Love (People Get Ready) 644 Ohio 645 Only Child 646 Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love 647 My Sharona 648 Dance The Night Away 649 Poison 650 My Cup 651 Not The End 652 What It Feels Like For A Girl 653 Listen To Your Heart 654 Little Drummer Boy 655 One Hand, One Heart 656 Bein' Green 657 Big Spender 658 Billionaire 659 Ben 660 Gimme More 661 Burning Up 662 Hey Ya! 663 Hey, Soul Sister 664 Baby Got Back 665 Blue Christmas 666 Bohemian Rhapsody 667 Far From Over 668 The Trolley Song 669 Starlight Express 670 Whip It 671 You're The Top 672 Red Solo Cup 673 Next To Me 674 Rolling In The Deep 675 Rainbow Connection 676 La Cucaracha 677 (You're) Having My Baby 678 A Little Less Conversation 679 Happy 680 Highway To Hell 681 Same Love 682 Rock Lobster 683 Girls Just Want To Have Fun

[cross-d-a]

fic tag game

aaahhh @vishcount thank you for tagging me!!! These are so fun and I adored reading about your fic journey~!  ೖ(⑅σ̑ᴗσ̑)ೖ ❤

OH as a note!! For the ppl I tag at the end I don’t expect you to read all of this bc it’s A Lot!!! but I figured you might want to do this game yourself? haha :)

Name: cross-d-a shortened version of my first ever username. unfortunately stuck with it now haha but i’m fond of it :p wish it was cuter tho!!

Posting the rest of this under the cut so it doesn’t eat up people’s dashes!! 

(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Fandoms: 

oKAY YIKES there are....honestly too many too name. I’ve got a short and obsessive attention span so it’s either all or nothing with me usually. When I can stay in a fandom for a long period of time it’s a miracle. I’ll name the bigger ones that I’ve all written fic for! Even if I’ve never posted them haha

Right now I’m very firmly into Daomu Biji (dmbj). It feels like it’s both got a crap ton of content and yet barely anything at all haha. Maybe because the English fandom is so small. But at least there are a bunch of dramas and books!!! I really, really, really adore dmbj so much!! And a large part of that is the fandom!!! It's been a really cool and unique experience! Everyone in it is truly so kind and wonderful, and I’ve made some really incredible friends because of it (looking at you vish!! ❤). I’ve got a bunch of wips, but I’ve only posted two fics for dmbj!

Before this I was very into Guardian and mdzs. MDZS was my first foray into cdramas and Guardian’s Zhu Yilong really suckered me into watching more haha I also have fics for both these fandoms!

My very first fandoms were Fullmetal Alchemist, D. Gray-Man and Naruto. My very old ffnet account has fics for these and I’ve got a bunch of newer wips on my tablet. Then Star Trek, Twilight, BBC Merlin, Sherlock, Death Note, Harry Potter, How to Train Your Dragon, Battlestar Galactica, Avatar the Last Airbender and Marvel were a few of my main ones in high school. Plus a bunch of anime (like Fruits Basket! and Kuroshitsuji and Natsume Yuujinchou). 

Then college hit and I renewed my childhood love of Tolkien (mainly lotr and the Hobbit), and Star Wars. I also found Teen Wolf! Then after college it was Stranger Things. 

I find myself in a cycle of mild fondness and complete obsession with these fandoms haha I go back to Star Wars at least once a year!! Then I’m in the gffa hole for a few months. Marvel also reoccurs, depending on how interested I am in new content! Star Trek I always always always go back to. TOS is my comfort show and it will never fade from my heart ❤

But for now I’m stuck in cdrama hell and I love it

Tropes: 

Time travel, found family, whump+hurt/comfort, fairytale-like elements, resurrective immortality (thanks to a “Nine Lives” Hobbit fic), CROSSOVERS

I’m a slut for all these things so they often worm their way into my plots haha

I also just- love weird premises. I think that’s the anime influencing me haha

Fic I spent most time on: 

My series he leaves sand and stardust in my wake (main fic is hurricane on the edge of oblivion), I have...spent five years on now. I have done so much research for this fic it’s insane. 

The premise is force ghost!Obi-Wan getting shunted back into his tiny 10 year old self. I incorporate a shit ton of legends and I try to stay as canon as possible. I basically want this au to feel like it’s 1000% plausible while still getting all my gay shit. It’s chock full of whump, redemption, found family, minor characters turning into major characters, and I’ve got slavery uprising on the mind, too. It’s just- everything I could ever want to explore in the Star Wars universe basically. 

It’s my first big project. I started doodling and scribbling ideas in the margins of my notebook in my Scottish History class. I adore it so so so much. But, because of my hyperfixation and fleeting intense obsession with things it makes it- really difficult to consistently update. I leave it for months at a time and I am constantly guilt-ridden about it. Because it’s my baby and I have a lot of wonderful readers. I fear I’ll never be able to finish it. Especially since I’ve written so much and I’m still only in the beginning of it. ( ; A ; )

Also, I’ve spent so much time with Xanatos, Feemor and Bruck that they just feel like mine now. I can’t read any fics that involve them, it’s too strange. Which is a damn shame because I love them so much haha OH ALSO!! I think it’s the first really big fic to include those three?? So I’m very proud about that haha (I’ve had so many ppl comment about how they actually Give A Shit about these three and are Invested bc of me haha)

Favorite fic(s) you’ve written: 

hurricane on the edge of oblivion (with nowhere to go) (Star Wars)

My long-term passion project. My love-letter to Star Wars, I suppose. Reading it now I feel like a lot of it is clunky or long-winded, but I think it really shows the foundation of my writing today :) Main characters are Obi-Wan, Xanatos Du Crion, Qui-Gon Jinn, Bruck Chun and Feemor. Eventually we’ll get to Maul, Savage, Feral, Shmi Skywalker, (more!) Ahsoka, Anakin and a shit ton of clones ❤

things we hunger for (Guardian)

My Ye Zun self-indulgent fic. It’s a time travel amnesia Weilanzun! Honestly has some of my fav writing I’ve ever done. It’s so soft and really indulges in the hurt/comfort. It gives Ye Zun the friends and family I think he deserves. Also, he gets to grow into a (mostly!) functional person and I adore him.

the beast that slumbers within your soul (mdzs)

Jiang Cheng centric fic!! I feel like all my favourite fics I’ve written are love letters haha. This is one def my love letter to Jiang Cheng. This fic possessed me for two whole days. I wrote 16k in almost one sitting. I went to sleep at 6 in the morning bc I couldn’t stop writing. And when I drifted off I kept thinking of new ideas so I’d whip out my phone and write down lines and notes. I- have never ever ever felt that way about anything. It was- insane. It felt insane. It was so amazing. I’m still riding the memory of that high.

 Basically Jiang Cheng actually finds Baoshan Sanren and it turns out she’s a fox demon and Jiang Cheng is descended from wolves. It’s- okay I said the fic above this had my favourite writing?? That was a lie. This has my favourite writing I’ve ever done. It’s unfinished bc I am in dmbj hell but I am still excited about the next chapter which features Wei Wuxian’s pov!!

the whispers of spirits (dmbj)

My current passion project. In a way it kinda feels similar to hurricane? Bc multiple povs, incorporating different aspects of canon (we’ll get there!! I promise!), shit ton of research, etc. etc. I really really really love it for so many reasons. I’m basically taking all the things I was unsatisfied with in Reboot and Sha Hai and running with it. Found family and whump galore! It’s also a love letter to the women of dmbj who really deserve so so so much better.

Honourable mention to:

One Day (you’ll have given more of yourself than is meant to be taken) (Marvel)

This fic also kinda possessed me. I just- couldn’t get rid of the idea of a trans!Thor. And I mean a mtf Thor! It’s just? So many people look at Thor and go “that’s a Real Man.” Full stop. They never think there could be anything more, and it really really really bothered me. So I wrote out my feelings. I’m not trans. I don’t have that experience at all. I’ve had issues and confusion about my gender but nothing like this. I just wanted to do justice to this idea of Thor in my head. And I still feel a bit nervous having posted it. But I've gotten so many comments from people who really connected with what I’ve written? So I’m very very thankful I wrote it and it has a very special place in my heart. It’s a very cathartic fic.

Fic I spent least time on: 

Probably we rise (Star Wars) and I think it shows haha. I wrote it in response to Dave Filoni posting a drawing of Ahsoka and Gandalf telling her “People thought I was dead, too, and look how that turned out...” So I incorporated Ahsoka (and Din and Grogu and Ezra!!!) into the ending of Rise of Skywalker, kinda explaining how I think they could all still be alive. :)

Longest fic: 

hurricane is my longest fic (159k) but I’m kinda worried whispers will eclipse that.....

Shortest fic: 

Of my posted ones it’s The Five Moments it Took Tony and Scott to Admit They Were Best Friends (and the first time they ever did), currently clocks at 1.6k. It’s unfinished tho so maybe that doesn’t count.... otherwise it’s we rise which is completed and 2k.

Most hits/kudos/comments/bookmarks: 

hurricane overall has the most of all these. Though I don’t think hits counts as much bc it’s multi-chapter. If you discount multi-chapter stuff, most hits goes to my obikin smutfic Homecoming, bc people are horny af haha

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: 

If I had energy I’d like to rewrite the beginning of hurricane bc it feels so so wordy. I’d want to expand on One Day bc I really would like to write a whole series with trans!Thor. And like- I’d really like the focus to finish any of my WIPs.

Share a bit of a WIP: I really wanna share my Guardian/dmbj crossover that I started back in August. Bc I adore the idea of wu xie&shen wei&ye zun triplets! Plus time travel!!! I dunno if I’ll ever finish it tho ( ; A ; ) It just feels like a lot to deal with right now.

This scene takes place during the Mountain Awl arc. Guardian crew and desperado fam run across each other at the village! Wu Xie has recently found out that he’s adopted and he’s searching for answers in the area Sanshu originally found amnesiac!toddler!Wu Xie in :) Gonna pull two snippets bc I’m v excited and this might be the only time anyone else sees this fic haha:

“Oh?” Pangzi focuses on Yunlan now, lips twisting. “You think I’ve ‘got the wrong guy,’ huh?” He laughs, but it’s not a nice sound. “That’s rich! Are you that cocky or are you just stupid?”

Bristling, Yunlan drops his hands and scowls. “Excuse me?”

“Sir,” Shen Wei tries. “I think—”

Pangzi’s eyes snap back to Shen Wei, sharp and blazing. “How dare you fucking steal his face!”

What?

Automatically, Zhao Yunlan turns to Shen Wei, but the professor looks just as shell-shocked as Zhao Yunlan feels which- is seriously something. Since everything about Shen Wei is so carefully controlled, kept to the minimum. Except for those delightful little smiles that bloom across his lovely face, or the startled little bursts of laughter that fall from his lips. Or even when anger and frustration spark across his features, cracking his calm veneer open enough that he can see a glimmer of what lies beneath, the fire in those eyes. Zhao Yunlan delights in those moments, makes a game of making Shen Wei’s control slip.

He tells himself it’s nothing more than a game. Nothing more than trying to find out what makes Shen Wei tick.

Zhao Yunlan’s always been very bad at lying to himself. Or very good. Depending on who you’re asking.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Yunlan splutters.

But before anyone can say anything else, a very familiar voice calls:

“Pangzi? What’s wrong?”

Yunlan can feel Shen Wei stiffen, and Yunlan himself is pulled to that voice like a planet in orbit, like the inevitable plummet to the ground.

Another shadow wavers in the doorway before it steps out onto the dirt. Light illuminates shaggy hair, limning it gold, sharply casting everything else in shadow. But as the figure nears, the contrast softens until Yunlan can see the newcomer’s face properly and- and—

“Wu Xie!” Pangzi growls. “We’ve got ourselves an impostor!”

The man wearing Shen Wei’s face steps up to them, brows furrowed and mouth pulled down into a sharp frown. He glances between them, eyes landing on Shen Wei. His scowl deepens. He opens his mouth, but then—

“Wu Xie?” Shen Wei breathes, all trembly and lost and hopeless.

Heart in his throat, Yunlan turns to Shen Wei again. Turns and flinches at that stricken look upon Shen Wei’s pale pinched face.

“A-Xie?” Shen Wei chokes. “Didi?”

and

Pangzi snorts. “Professor?”

“I-it’s true!”

Startled Yunlan swings his attention over to Jiajia who clenches her backpack to her chest, face screwed up in admirable determination. “P-professor Shen took me and Xiao Quan on a field trip to investigate an archeological site around here!”

“Oh?” Wu Xie drawls all slow and amused. “Well, what a coincidence. We’re archeologists, too.”

“With guns?” Yunlan bites out.

Wu Xie raises a brow, grin full of teeth. “Well, you can never be too prepared.”

“Right,” Yunlan drawls right back. “Are you a professor, too, then? You come here with your students?”

Wu Xie outright grins. “You could say that, I suppose.”

Out of the corner of his eye, one of the men rolls his eyes. He’s the one with sharp features, glasses and looped earbuds. Does he think it’s appropriate to listen to music at a time like this? Yunlan admires the man’s gall.

aahhhh vish thanks so much again for tagging me!! This was so fun to relive my fic memories!! I’m gonna tag @alwaysaslutforshakespeare @jockvillagersonly @tehfanglyfish @lichelleme @undyingsunshine @humanlighthouse  @thewindsofsong I’m curious about your guys’ writing and fandom journey!! As always, no pressure to actually complete this!! I just thought it was fun ❤

Wow if you read all of this I am very humbled and impressed, thank you!!

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[zamgoods]

DMX's EXODUS Album Release or Let My People Go, Aaliyah and Prince of Egypt

Friday May 28th 5.28.21 148th day/ 217 remains Waning Gibbous Illumination 94%/ 6% Darkness

Today is the release of EXODUS or rather DM-Xodus. 13 tracks of messages he wanted to convey. At least we think it's the way he wanted it. I sampled it today and plan on purchasing a physical copy of EXODUS. Notice DMX's tattoo of Exodus 1:7 on his NECK above his collar bone-Clavicle (Keys).

Today is meaningful for this release is 3 days after George Floyd 1st memorial of his neck being kneed by ExOfficer Shauvin, 2 days after Lunar Eclipse, and Historical Story of the Real Exodus which is part of the Passover season, Pentecost/Shavuot. It is 9 weeks since Passover began, 7 weeks from DMX's passing on Friday, April 9th (99th day).

Exodus basically means-Get Out.

So if we place it on top of the Biblical EXODUS when Moses is said to have asked Ancient Egyptian Pharaoh, to "Let his People Go" and got them out, later facilitation 10 plagues, splitting the Red Sea, and bringing the 10 Commandments down from the Mountain of Sinai/ Horeb, it's timed perfectly. Since DMX collapsed on Good Friday during Passover, he is now part of this story.

What is shocking is that while I was writing this, a strange connection popped up. I watched a famous movie about Moses and the Exodus, called "The Prince of Egypt" just yesterday and I knew there was a connection with DMX album release. But guess what...Lakia Jai TV happened to do a reaction today and the movie was released on December 18th, DMX's Birthday....

Just to go even more deep. Let's bring Aaliyah to the table. Aaliyah and her family where known friends with Earl Simmons,DMX. And in this case both related to Ancient Egypt. For remember Aaliyah played Queen Akasha of Egypt in 2002 "Queen of the Damned" Her name is also related to the Exodus story and the "Hebrews" that left Egypt to find their own "Promised Land" which became Israel after 40 years wandering in the "wilderness." Israel is the place the "Hebrews" want to return, but the Palestinians resided for centuries. Their religious "right of return" is called Aaliyah. Look it up. I'm not making this up...Link to our videos about it.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UofCmFci-U4 @3:14.

There was an 11 day war in just days ago in the Holy Land over the Exodus/ Exile and Aaliyah. We are indeed living in critical times...And it's just beginning.

The Hebrew word for Letting Go is Selah. Well as a people who have been enslaved in this Land of called America for the 400 years Kanye spoke of, we have not been set free like Moses did. We never made an Exodus in the same sense of the word. They say Harriet Tubman moved people far away to freedom and called her Mama Moses. They want to put her on a 20 dollar bill. A counterfeit 20 is what George FLoyd was pinned down and lost his life for.

Taking the knee to a whole 'nother interpretation than (8/26/ 2016) Colin Kapernick or even Tee Bow modeled at NFL games. Don't forget Colin was the Aaliyah's brother in Romeo Must Die who wanted to Run with the Show and said Magic is about to happen. So everything Goes around and around in full circles.

Another strange occurrence today was when I re- watched DaVinci Code... I can't seem to wonder if the phrase... So Dark the Con of Man is referring to DARK MAN X =DMX. This saying, according to the movie, has to do with a Christian secret society called the Priory of Zion. They are said to have the secret of God's Power. The movie shows that Jesus's blood line, Sangreal, Holy Grail is beneath the rose and is not a physical cup but people. What is the Con?

In the Movie that Aaliyah sang the theme song and was nominated for an American Academy Award, Anastasia, the "Con Artist" sang about "The Greatest Con in history." in the song HAVE YOU HEARD the Rumor...Anastasia means she will RIse AGAIN...Resurrection. Aaliyah rose again as Queen Akasha and Anastasia in Journey to the Past. Resurrection Sunday, Easter, after Good Friday when DMX "OD" literally Died and was revived.

What is the CON? ExCON. Convict. So Dark the Convict of Man. INstead of Madonna on the Rocks, we'll have to add "vict." convictions of man. Religious convictions have killed millions of people through the ages. People killing in the name of "GOD" is pretty dark. The Crusades was a war last millennia to protect the Holy Land from the Dark Men called Moor/Muslims. The movie says that it was actually a cover up of the Priory militia called the Knights Templar, for the Catholic Church to retrieve treasures and land. So many Palestians had to make Exodus/Exile and become refugees in other lands, just like now.

Just trying to put 3 and 2 together to figure this out. All I can say is DMX, Aaliyah, and let's add Whitney Houston and Ofrah Haza to the list of Exodus rituals for the Dark Con of Man. Whitney sang a duet with Mariah Carey in the Prince of Egypt movie theme song... And the enchanting voice of Yemenis Israeli Ofrah also passed mysteriously and suddenly of AIDS after the release of the movie. Her husband never got HIV, yet they said she had it unknowingly.

Wierd So Dark the Con of Man

[opalai-pixel-witch]

Hiiiiiii!!!! ^^

Helloooooo! ^____^ I’m all right, I hope you’re doing well too!

–For now, yes! I sent a project and they finally accepted it! :D

Hmm, that does make more sense :o Although…Pesto skating could potentially be super cool >u>

–If it was up to me, Pesto would be great all over XD

I have doubts about that, because unlike the others, she has a clear passion: playing the bass

One of my headcannons for Pesto is that she has anxiety, so I think that fits in well with her ^_^ You might also recall the Bear Death chase sequence in the game: “There are fates worse than death, Bjoharn! Like unimaginable pain or going far far away for a long long time! You don’t wanna risk it!”

–Ja ja ja , that part seemed funny to me until she leaves me saying: Good luck getting mauled!

And me like: EY! HELP MEEEEE!!! D:

And yes, she fears that, but she exaggerates saying that she is going to die, after all, her minor wounds heal very quickly

I imagine her grabbing Death’s head, covering his eyes without noticing it, telling him to slow down cuz they are going to die

Death like: P, we’re already dead but we’re going to crash if you don’t let me see THE WAY!!!

Oh yeah, that’s the reason why I’ve been avoiding dA lately =A= Eclipse is the most inconvenient, hideous, and just absolutely horrid website design I’ve ever had the unfortunate displeasure of experiencing in my life. But they don’t even censor NSFW stuff anymore? What a complete mess >:| I only go there for this one webcomic I follow nowadays :P

–I don’t use DA as before, I would say it’s currently deserted; I check fanarts from time to time and also read some web comics too, also I read some comics in Webtoons ;)

Speaking about DA:

https://sta.sh/22aj2xyaqwj3?edit=1

;)

…OH HOLY GOSH DARN!! I love love love love love that picture of Milky and co.!!!! ♡♡♡♡ I’m guessing the lady behind him is Bat-Dung? And I wonder what Salmon Guy’s doing there o.o But oh my gosh Milkyyyy…pardon me, I’m in love |D

–I’m glad you liked them, and yes, I wanted almost the whole team, so I invented an image for Bat-Dug based on her voice and on the fact she investigate the paranormal, also what role she could play in the team: I assigned her to provides weapons and special equipment to her mates, and repairs technology ;)

I would have put Red Eye, but my story takes place after the events of MS and HH

And Salmon guy is there because Milky and company went after him (I’m still writing this story, it’s harder than I thought, I usually don’t write stories) ^^;

I just figured that Bjørn would probably be more used to writing in runes, or maybe did it as an inside joke o: I don’t think Pesto knows how to read it, but she didn’t really need to in order to know the gift was for her—but later on she might see the tag with the runes and be all faux-annoyed like “Bjoharn you cheeky little—“ |D

–“Bjoharn you cheeky little—“ *insert wheze meme* X,D

I’m imagining that scene from the simpsons where Flanders leaves Homer and Co at his summer house and  left them little notes everywhere, but with Bjorn and Pesto instead.

Pesto would be like: To hell with this! >:v

XD

--------

Heya!! I’m so sorry it took me a while to get to this message, college and real life stuff has been kicking my ass ;;_;; I’m glad to hear that things are going well for you!!

I mean...isn’t she? |D Jokes aside I agree with you, since the only talk of skating she’d done in the game was casually acknowledging the others’ obsession with it :P Still, I am super tempted to draw Pesto skating at some point >.>

That part always makes me nervous ;A; Pesto, I’ll never forgive you if you leave my son to die!! >:| (...let’s just...ignore the fact that he’s already dead...)

That reminds me of a weird headcannon I’ve been thinking about—I feel like with her being in charge of diseases and stuff, she has the power to remove an illness along with her ability to inflict it :o Maybe I’m just being dumb, but I thought it’d be cool...and yeah, I can totally picture that |D I dunno if I’d label the horsemen as dead though, I think they’re just some weird immortal entities :P

If dA is becoming deserted now, that only means their Eclipse scheme has failed =A= I wonder how long they’ve been banging their heads against the wall in regret...I’ve also been looking at comics on Webtoons lately, my favorite one there is probably Clinic of Horrors :o

Your new drawings are (as always) sooo cool!!!! O.O War looks super badass, and the one with Death casually approaching Sam is funny |D I also love the comic with his dad and Cobbles, the “you will have to believe me” line made me lose it >o>

I see o: I can definitely picture her as the weapons-handler of the group! Odd thing, though—I don’t think Milky actually had any weapons in the game...unless his pockets are somehow bottomless and he keeps them in there :P I can also see the motivation for them going after Salmon Guy—after all, he has encountered one of the horsemen firsthand! The best witness for them would be Sam with all his new info, but of course because he’s the ultimate rich kid it would be super difficult for them to get to him |D

Haha yeah, Pesto would have to go to that Valhyr site constantly to translate everything >u>

[tovanori]

Hey, sorry to bother you I basically have read all the moonsun fic you've recommended and like... I need more Do you have any other recommendations? Old or new Thanks a lot!

WE BACK ON THIS AGAIN

If you missed my other two rec lists here’s the links for them [1] [2]

🔞 - Mature Content

⭐ - Highly Recommended

AO3 List

⭐ The Stars by supersas99 - Moonbyul is famous and Yongsun is just another fan that gets an incredible chance that changes her life. (Complete, 12/12)

We Got Married (but maybe I don’t wanna be) by tried_to_write - Yongsun, Byulyi, and Eric through WGM. [Incomplete, 2/3] (So much pINING)

🔞 Beneath the Surface // Moonsun by StrangeThanDiction  - Crooked cop Kim Yongsun and charismatic gang leader Moon Byulyi have to work together to take down a new gang that threatens the safety of their city. [Incomplete, 18/?] (TW, Murder, Killing, Blood)

Never Eclipsed by hwasasnails - Moonbyul, a young woman battling the struggles of a not-so-glamourous life, stumbles into the clutches of Solar, the loan shark she owes money to. [incomplete, 7/15] (TW, Knives, Hurting, Blood.)

queen and lionheart by gendrys - in which moonbyul is named heir of the kingdom and needs to form an alliance with the kim clan before threats of war escalate further. never did she imagine that treating with kim yongsun would be more difficult than battle. Has BTS as side characters [incomplete, 6/7]

⭐ all about the talent by zucchinis (bc_bread) - AU where Byulyi and Wheein are members of crew and Yongsun and Hyejin just can’t leave them alone somehow. [incomplete, 5/6]

⭐ 🔞Mortals by moodbyul - Angels and Devils AU, but they’re actually working together to balance the world, but there’s a bunch of exceptions. [incomplete, 4/?] 

⭐ Amor fati by Verdan (Dandie) - Fantasy/Supernatural AU. Yongsun is a bounty hunter with her partner Moon Byulyi, they pick up Wheein and Hyejin along the way. [incomplete, 5/?] (TW, blood, gore I think)

Dragon for You by Egostistic - Moonbyul was sure that Hyejin had black hair and didn’t have any wings nor any horns. So– who the heck was this pale blonde lady? And why is she naked– | Spirit AU [Incomplete, 2/?] (Dumbassery)

It’s Not a Match! by ohnoeunwoo (namelessg) - After a weird break up and a lot of whining, Wheein convinces Byulyi to try Tinder again. [Incomplete, 3/?]

The Sun + Stars by StrangerThanDiction - Byul decides to form a band to win a competition and makes unexpected friends along the way. [Incomplete, 2/?]

i’d tell you flowers are pretty (but i’m looking at space instead) by moonddun - moon byulyi found shelter on earth in the form of a 5"2 music major with black hair, wide smile, eyes containing the universe itself, and chin dimples. [Oneshot, 1/1]

these lips on lips (they go like this) by singasongofus - five times byulyi almost kisses her roommate, and the one time she does. (Oneshot, 1/1)

⭐ More than Lovers by moodbyul - She left, leaving her to pick herself up, then came crashing back into her life once more; stronger than ever. Breakup AU but it ends happy, trust me. [Oneshot, 1/1] (TW, Domestic Abuse, suicidal thoughts, depression.)

Maybe It Was You All Along by J__J - Moonbyul and Solar are just friends… until Yongsun questions why they aren’t more. [Oneshot, 1/1]

I like you by patcheslick - Byulyi has a party, and Yongsun is for sure the best part of it. [oneshot, 1/1]

Can’t Help it if I Wanna Kiss You in the Rain by yongbora - “Remember how you told me you always wanted one of those stereotypical kisses in the rain?” [Oneshot, 1/1]

AFF

Game. Set. Match. by tftmtrise - Highschool AU. Moonbyul is part of the tennis team and runs into the girl of her dreams on her way to practice. [Complete, 22/22]

🔞Eclipse by  tftmtrise - Historical/Supernatural AU. Moon Byuyi pretends to be a man to bring honor back to her clan, it’s really not mulan I promise. [Complete, 38/38] (TW, depicted fight and gore, blood)

⭐Between Us by ghostReporting - Byulyi is dating a… cat? [Complete, 5/5]

⭐🔞Getting By, Just Barely by Saluhmander - Athlete AU. Moon Byulyi’s whole world has been revolving around basketball and somehow, Kim Yongsun ends up being part of her world. [Incomplete, 18/?] (There’s some almost sex scenes but y’know, just to be safe)

⭐🔞The Royal Match by cloudninexo - Moonsun AU set in the Joseon Era. Scholar Moon is tasked to find a suitable husband to the free spirited, Princess Kim Yongsun. [incomplete, 4/?] (Yongsun just wants to be happy damn)

The Stars Incline Us, They Do Not Bind Us by Desperauxx - Fantasy/Magic AU. One evening, just past midnight, a beast crashed through the walls of the infirmary and Yongsun’s path ultimately took a different turn, granting her much-needed freedom and altering her destiny entirely. [Incomplete, 9/?]

🔞Heartbeat by tftmtrise - Moonsun fanfic based on the webtoon Pulse by Ratana Satis. [Incomplete, 18/?]

In This World by omymnstr - Moon Byulyi is a self-renounced ER Doctor. Kim Yongsun is recovering from the burning back of a man’s hand. [Incomplete, 8/?] (Domestic Abuse, depression)

tech support by fleurly - yongsun is moments away from throwing her laptop against the wall in anger but luckily moonbyul is on the phone to help calm her down. [Incomplete, 4/?]

🔞Haven by @byulyi​ - Werewolf AU with ABO Dynamics. Yongsun runs away from her clan and seeks asylum in Byulyi’s. [Incomplete, 15/?] (If you don’t know what ABO is, you should look it up just for you to be safe.)

🔞The Education of Miss Moon by TagalogMamamoo - Professional Stripper Solar was hired to be Miss Moon’s first. Secrets are the currency of the rich. [Incomplete, 8/?]

LAST BUT NOT LEAST MY FAV OF ALL FICS THAT I WILL ALWAYS RECOMMEND

⭐🔞Killer Instincts

by

28stone

- Solar honestly doesn’t know what she hates more about Moonbyul; that stupidly shiny silver hair, that greasy knowing smirk or the fact that she might not hate her at all. Domesticating Assassins AU. Doctor!Yongsun, Artist!Wheein, Ex-Assassins!Hwasa and Moonbyul. [Incomplete, 8/?]

Ok I hope that’s enough sdfhjkl

[kumeko]

Title: the things you keep from yourself

A/N: For @cynx-17-kh for the @fe3hxchange! I mostly incorporated your prompts, I hope you like this. =D

…

…

…

…

i.

Byleth breathed out while she swung her sword, her long hair flowing behind her as she pressed forward. It wasn’t so much a breath as an explosion of air, her hand as strong now as it had been six years ago.

 “Hah!” Felix grunted in response, parrying her sword. His arm strained from the pressure and his heels dug into the ground. Gripping his sword tightly, he pushed her sword away.

 She let her sword move, using the momentum to strike back with two times the pressure. As usual, there was a fluidity to her movement, a grace that he had only found in Dorothea’s dances. Byleth gritted her teeth as she swiveled on a foot, using the force of her arc to push him back.

 They had been together for over a year now and yet somehow she still managed to find ways to surprise him, to use her sword in ways he hadn’t come to expect. It was glorious. Marvelous. The only sound in the training room was the sound of their swords clashing, of their feet changing stances, of their laboured breathing. Their swords struck again and again, and Felix glared at her as they pushed against one another. Byleth grinned back feral-like, her eyes bright, her skin flushed, coming alive in ways she didn’t do otherwise.

Then again, the same could be said for him. It was like looking at a mirror image and he wondered if she saw him as clearly as he did her. They knew each other best in the heat of battle, war machines running on adrenaline as they thrust and cut. She relaxed her pose and he stumbled forward, only for her shift her weight once more and knock the blade out of his hand. Without stopping, she tackled him to the ground, a winning blow.

 “Oof,” he gasped as he hit the ground, the wind knocked out of him. His head clacked against the ground and he lay there, dazed. A comfortable weight settled around his waist, Byleth pressing him to the ground as she straddled him. The sword in her hand slipped under his jaw, forcing his head up so as to not draw blood. There was no squirming out of this position. Felix’s hands were trapped at his sides and he sighed. “Your win.”

 “My win,” she repeated, dropping the sword with a smirk. Leaning forward, she grasped his collar and pulled his mouth towards hers, claiming his lips with a savage kiss.

 Not one to back down from a fight, whatever type it was, he bit her lip, drawing blood. Waiting for the moment he could flip her over. His hands rested on her hips, his fingers digging into her flesh, and he growled as she pulled him closer.

 (It was never close enough)

    ii.

 It was a good thing that Felix liked back alleys, the less travelled streets that were almost empty of any traffic. There were many uses to them—an exit no one knew about, a place to hide when he didn’t want to be found, a path away from prying eyes.

 And, in times like this, when he found himself surrounded by ten stray cats, a guarantee that no one would see him. Felix wasn’t sure if he could explain just how he’d ended up like this, crouched on the ground, doling out strips of raw chicken to starving cats. Even worse, he was afraid there was something like a smile on his face, and he really didn’t want anyone to catch him like that. It was the kind of news he knew would reach Sylvain’s ears somehow and even if he planned on never seeing his childhood friend again, just knowing Sylvain would find his current predicament entertaining was painful without it actually happening.

 Two grey cats butted heads as they tried to snatch a piece of chicken and Felix clicked his tongue as he tossed another one their way. “There’s plenty for all of you.” He paused, eyeing them both before adding, “Oscar. Finn.” The names rolled off his tongue more naturally than he’d like. It had been easy naming the cats, far too easy. He didn’t realize he had a list of names until he’d started—Matilda, Violet, Jasper, and Arthur. Theodore. Alice.

 The ring around his neck weighed heavily with each name. What would Byleth think of the names? It was a silly thought, he didn’t even know what he thought of the names. Still. What would her expression be if she found him like this, entertaining a hoard of hungry cats, naming them all? When they’d married, a quick affair at court that no one was aware of, they’d never discussed the future. Not really. They hadn’t even talked about joining Byleth’s old mercenary group before doing so; it had seemed obvious at the time. In a world of peace, fighting for money was the only way to fight at all.

 He didn’t regret his choice; it wasn’t in him to second guess his actions. Even now, he wasn’t ready to let go of his sword, his hand more comfortable gripping the hilt than a shovel. But this travelling, going from town to town with the wind, it wasn’t feasible to have a child in this environment. Even now, Felix hardly knew the name of where they were. They could barely raise a pet, let alone a child.

 Would Byleth care? Maybe, but she’d grown up like this, roaming was what she did.

 Did he care?

 That was a harder question. A cat rubbed his hand, dragging Felix back to the present, and once again a name, Leo, came to his mind, unbidden.

    iii.

“Ouch,” Byeth hissed, flinching as Felix pressed a cold sponge on her bloody arm. He kept his grip on her tight before she could pull away entirely.

 “You weren’t careful,” he chided. Squeezing the sponge in a bowl of water, he tried to dab it on her skin more gently this time. He wasn’t made to be tender and the sponge felt awkward in his hands, but as he stared at the blood welling up on her arm, at her pale skin and pained expression, he wanted to try. Just this once. “You could have blocked that last strike. Your guard was down.”

 Byleth bit her lip, unable to refute him. She glanced at her right arm, watching as he meticulously cleaned the wound. “Is it deep?”

 Setting aside the sponge, he examined her cut with his long fingers, prodding here and there. Her skin was warm. She was alive. He only stopped when blood started to ooze out of the wound once more. “It’s shallow, luckily.”

 Extremely luckily. When her face had twisted with pain, as she fell on the battlefield after getting struck, Felix had only seen red as he hacked at her attacker. It had felt deadly at the time, everything moved in slow motion as he carried her out of her field. He had never considered her death before this. He didn’t want to think of it ever again.

 “Good.” Byleth sighed with relief and he clucked his tongue in annoyance.

 “That doesn’t mean you can relax.” He picked up a cotton soaked in alcohol and pressed it against the wound. “You can’t use this arm for a while. Next battle, you’ll stay behind.”

 She grimaced but stayed still. Brow furrowing, she shook her head, disagreeing with his assessment. “It’s not that bad. A little rest and I’ll be fine.”

 “Don’t make it worse,” he disagreed, grabbing the bandages now. Dragging a stool next to her, he sat down and carefully wrapped her injury. “Just let yourself heal.”

 “Like you do?” Her lips quirked, amusement colouring her tone, and she was going to fine if she could tease him like that.

 Instead of answering, he tugged the bandage extra tight.

   iv.

 Byleth was asleep. Felix blinked as he woke up, listening to her steady breathing. Byleth was asleep and this was almost as rare as catching an eclipse; she was almost always awake before him. Carefully, he turned around, lying on his side to watch her better. His arm was wrapped around her waist and he tried not to stir him with his movement.

 Fortunately, she must have been more tired than he thought. Her face scrunched slightly before smoothening over, sleep claiming her entirely. Propping his head up on his hand, he watched as she dozed, her hair splayed around her on the pillow.

 There was something peaceful about this moment. Peace. He never thought he’d be grateful for it. Then again, he never thought that love was something he’d feel either. Not when he was student, too angry at everyone for his brother’s death. Not in the five years after, when all that was left for him was fighting.

 Yet now love laid beside him, filling his heart and his throat and for a moment he understood Sylvain and his incessant flirting. Or the long ballads Dorothea would sing about lovers and midnight trysts.

 Or, at his worst, Ingrid’s grief at Glen’s death, the brittle wall she’d built up as she refused to let another in so deep into her heart.

 He wasn’t sure what he’d do if Byleth died. Maybe he’d become the boar, killing everyone and everything. Or maybe he’d fade away, unable to sustain himself. Felix wasn’t sure which idea scared him more.

    v.

 Somehow, every town had its fill of stray cats. The ones in this town hid by the docks, wild calico coloured cats with scars on their eyes and a taste for fish. They were better fed than the ones he’d found before, but he’d never found an animal who turned its nose up at food, no matter how full they were.

 Sitting on the steps to the local fish market, he started tossing pieces of fish from one cat to the next. A black and white cat ran into a tabby as it tried to catch a morsel. Before Felix could toss another piece at it, someone else tossed it first.

 Jerking his head, his eyes widened as Byleth walked down the steps and sat next to him. She didn’t say anything, just held a small bag of fish scraps.

 Did she do this too? Or did she know that he did?

 Felix didn’t ask. If it was the second one, embarrassment would kill him. He broke of the tail from a fish and tossed it at pure black cat instead. A seagull cried above them, wanting to swoop down and steal a piece. An older cat, grey and grizzled, looked up and hissed.

 “I call that one Jeralt,” Byleth said, breaking the silence.

 Felix blinked. It had been years since he’d thought of her father and he snorted. “I’m not sure if he would like that.”

 “He protects the other cats,” Byleth explained, tossing the old cat an extra piece. She smiled fondly. “He’s Jeralt.”

 Felix glanced at her before gesturing at a tabby kitten. “That one’s Dexter.”

 She turned to it, giving it a quick one over before nodding. “Looks like it too.” Byleth gestured at the twin black cats that wrestled with one another, more interested in each other’s tails than they were food. “Ivy and Hugo.”

 Felix chuckled. He wondered if their lists overlapped, if there were names both of their lists had. If she knew why she had a list anymore than he did. “The black one with a white foot is Beatrix.”

 He wondered what she thought of children, of settling down. Of travelling, sword in one hand, babe in the other. Felix had never asked these questions before, he never found the need to. But she was beside him and her ring was around his neck and maybe he wanted to wake up before her more mornings, to simply stare at her. To be all those things he had laughed at as a youth.

 “Byleth,” he said, clasping her hand. “I love you.”

 Byelth stared at him, her eyes wide, before smiling softly. “Me too.”

 His future was tied to hers, one way or another. Maybe it was time he asked those questions.

[cousinmarcustalkswrestling]

Best NXT Matches of 2020 - The Top 5

5

DIY vs Moustache Mountain - Worlds Collide

Man that Worlds Collide card was great. This was a simple tag team dream match between two awesome tag teams that have never really crossed paths. Crazy talented Tyler Bate has some silky smooth wrestling sequences with Gargano and Ciampa that makes me clamor for singles matches with both of them. Ciampa and Seven have a funny posedown where Seven bows out before he officially hold his L. Its a fatphobic moment, but I ain’t gon trip. It’s a playful babyface tag match until Ciampa remembers that he’s a psychopath and he decks Seven with a forearm. Repentant babyface Gargano joins Ciampa and superkicks Bate and from there this match takes off with high octane action and some creative sequences.

Ciampa and Gargano tear into Bate and Seven gets the hot tag in a fun reversal of how they usually do things. Gargano hits the Final Beat DDT at the same time that Ciampa hits the Widows Bell DDT. Bate goes for a flying back elbow on Ciampa, but gets V Triggered out of the sky. There’s a great sequence where Gargano tilt-a-whirls into Gargano Escape on Bate, but Bate counters to the Airplane Spin, but Gargano rides him back down into it. Ciampa locks in a double armbar on Seven and we got a flashback to DIY vs Revival at Toronto. Bate and Seven escaped the stereo submissions and we get a fun double airplane spin. Bate accidentally rebound clotheslines Seven and they have a sweet moment where Seven protects Bate from Meeting in the Middle. They coldcock DIY though and land a sweet Burning Hammer/Flying Knee combo on Ciampa. In the end, DIY kills Seven with Meeting in the Middle and end this dream match.

4

Finn Balor vs Kyle O’Reilly - NXT Title - Takeover 31

Kyle O’Reilly being in the main event of a Takeover was a pretty far out idea, but one torn shoulder and a seemingly unplanned 30 day turnaround between Takeovers has made it so. Balor beat Adam Cole for the vacant title on September 8 and O’Reilly won a Gauntlet Eliminator for the title shot two weeks later. NXT’s always succinct video packages edged Kyle babyface and boiled him down to a dude who just really loves wrestling. And wrestling is exactly what we get. Not just wrestling, but some of the best pure wrestling of the year.  This is a great display of matwork, pacing, and psychology. This reminds me of Shingo vs Ibushi from the G1, where they could easily go full throttle all action, but instead they’re way more patient and we still get a great match from it.

Kyle has an awesome performance here as his selling is super sympathetic, while his work attacking Finn’s arms and legs is vicious. Finn, in my favorite Balor incarnation as The Prince, appropriately responds with his own nasty offense. In particular, one spinning kick looks like it ruptures Kyle’s spleen. Kyle goes for a cross armbreaker at one point and there’s a great sequence as we get a close up view of Balor’s fingers unlocking one by one until Kyle locks the armbreaker all the way in. Kyle legit breaks Finn’s jaw with a running knee in the corner and shortly after that, Finn ends it with the Coup De Grace. The ending was a leeeeetle too sudden and out of nowhere for understandable reasons. It definitely feels like they had a 4-5 more minutes to really build to their ending. No matter what, its an excellent wrestling match that basically sealed Finn as NXT’s male wrestler of the year and elevated Kyle to another level.

3

The Broserweights vs The Undisputed Era - Tag Team Titles - Takeover Portland

You know that point in long-ish tag matches where there’s a hot tag and everything breaks down and everything is just super entertaining chaos. This match is like that from the start and its awesome. There’s a relentless amount of double teams, nearfalls, nearfall saves, and momentum shifts. I had the very sneaky suspicion that one of the Broserweights were gonna turn on each other. The match kinda supported my theory because there’s moments where Dunne accidentally hits Riddle & moments where Riddle accidentally hits Dunne. Throughout it all, the Broserweights win this tornado of a match and take the tag titles. This was by far the best tag team match I saw this year. Unfortunately, the pandemic forcing Dunne to England and Riddle’s sexual assault allegations and call down to Raw broke up this team and completely derailed NXT’s tag team division for the entire year.

2

Candice Lerae, Toni Storm, Dakota Kai, & Raquel Gonzalez vs Shotzi Blackheart, Io Shirai, Rhea Ripley, & Ember Moon - War Games Match - Takeover War Games

Once the Charlotte experiment was over, the women of NXT were featured more and more on TV and emerged in the fall as the best division in the world that carried the show while the fellas were affected by injuries and weird direction and stuff. Shotzi and Candice lead their stacked teams to this WarGames match that felt like a violent feather in the cap of a tremendous year for the ladies.

Ember & Dakota start things off and have a great five minute segment showing off their chemistry before Shotzi comes in. The babyfaces having the advantage is an odd decision, but they work pretty simply and Dakota is crafty enough to not make it a weird dynamic where she turns herself face. Big Momma Raquel is next and things get ugly for the faces. Rhea is next and has a great staredown and brawl with Raquel. Toni Storm is next and she chooses violence bringing in numerous kendo sticks and takes off the turnbuckle pads. The action is brutal, creative, and constant and very rarely feels phony or choreographed. There’s a required Tower of Doom spot and a lot of weapon shots. Io Shirai is next and she wants to introduce more weapons, but Raquel keeps her out with a few hard big boots. Io dropkicks a chair into her face, but Toni locks the door to keep Io out. Candice Lerae is finally in and she has Indi Hartwell take out Io so the heels keep their handicap advantage, but the match can’t officially start without Io. In one of the funniest spots of the year, Io climbs to the top of the cage puts a garbage can over her head and leaps onto everybody.

With the match officially started, we get a bunch of super entertaining action. Rhea and Io have some awesome tag team moves, Ember hits Dakota with a crazy Eclipse two chairs, Shotzi sentons Candice off a ladder onto chairs. Its an awesome blend of skillful wrestling, creative spots, and brutality. In the end, Raquel catches Io going for a super rana and powerbombs her through a ladder to secure the win for Team Candice. An awesome spectacle of lady excellence.

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Io Shirai vs Rhea Ripley - Women’s Title - November 18

Io Shirai had an incredible year as Women’s champion and saved the title from the terribly booked Charlotte reign, by being one of the most consistent performers in the world and having great matches with the every name worth a damn in NXT. Rhea’s momentum from early this year was severely damaged by her disappearance after her loss to Charlotte Flair, but she slowly recovered, had some damn good matches and before you know it, she had all her swag back. It makes sense for this to be a big match up, but the unique thing about it is that Io Shirai took the initiative to call out Ripley. That instantly gave their match a very different dynamic that they play into and we got one of the best matches of the entire year.

Io’s brings the aggressive mentality of her challenge to the match and goes right after Rhea. She gets the best of her with her athleticism until Rhea yanks her into an electric chair drop on the apron. Even when she’s being overpowered though, she never alters her approach and she never sticks and moves. Staying in the pocket with Rhea is a dangerous proposition, but Io is just that crazy. Io slips out of a superplex attempt and delivers a sick German suplex from the turnbuckle. As great of a powerhouse that Rhea is, her bumping and selling is brilliant and she really puts over Io’s damage. Rhea gets extra angry after booting the hell out of Io, but Io snatches her left arm and goes crazy trying to disable Rhea and limit her power.

Rhea is still strong lady and gets a superplex and her reverse cloverleaf while still selling the arm, but when she goes for the Riptide, Io brilliantly counters to a cross armbreaker. Rhea escapes and decapitates Io with a clothesline, but Io counters another Riptide attempt to a spike DDT. In the awesome final sequence, Io catches Rhea on the apron with a sunset flip powerbomb THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!! Rhea is a dead woman, but she manages to drag her corpse in the ring, but as soon as she crawls in to beat the count, Io crushes her with a moonsault to the back and ends this classic match. Great unexpected psychology, great selling, great finish,. The Ladies of NXT just got better and better as the year went on and this is probably their crown jewel example.