#v: deaтн ιѕ a мercy. an end тo ѕυғғerιng ( мaιn; poѕт тloυ pт.₂ \ canon dιvergenт )

[ireallymisscoffee]

@sinfulneverlcnd || as promised :3

months had passed, yet joel woke with a start every. single. morning. it was a reflex he couldn't suppress - his body reacting to unknown danger, to the possibility of maybe finding a gun in his face when he woke. twenty years of nightmares & constant danger did that to a man's psyche - he guessed. even now, who could really tell how long they'd be safe here? what even was safe nowadays?

he wanted to believe they were truly, utterly safe here, but .. it wasn't easy. especially after all that happened in the past year. he tried to go back to sleep, it had to be early, but sleep was not his friend tonight. when was it ever, though? whenever he'd made a step towards normalcy - something had dragged him back into the dark. when you're lost in darkness, look for the light. nonsense.

joel sat up slowly with a long, soft groan rumbling in his chest & a curse on his lips. still hurt. everything hurt, even months after he barely escaped death. when they caught him, he thought he'd seen all there was, thought he'd find peace finally, but it had yet to be his time. life would never be the same, surely, but joel was a survivor - always had been, so he kept going.

his body, though, he wasn't sure. patchwork probably described it best. his knee had been shot to hell, the pain unbearable most days, a bother on really good days. stiff, but .. usable.. with practice. his head, different story entirely. his hearing was slowly improving, thank god. with his right side almost deaf, the left being busted had been terrifying. the scars stretching over the left side of his face down to his lips cut deep, but they'd healed quite nicely.

some days he thought about going back to jackson, but he knew better. besides the fact he'd endanger everybody there if his survival became known, he was also sure ellie would be better off without him. the past years with her.. it hadn't gone well. he knew she'd never forgive him, he'd never feel sorry - they were at an impasse.

this was better. besides, he was in good company. never thought he'd be the damsel in distress, but clearly he was. it brought him a great friend, though - undoubtedly the best he'd ever had & that wasn't just because he'd saved his life. they had a lot in common, silent understanding. fingers came to rub circled around his knee, his eyes closed until he heard a sound next to him.

"ah, mornin'." had he woken darius? probably.

[ireallymisscoffee]

@divinitywept || ahhh i almost went to bed, then remembered i was gonna do this!!!!!!!

bad day. joel had had way too many of those in the past months. it wasn't even that he wanted to feel like this, he didn't. yet, he couldn't help but notice that god had it out for him, truly. he'd been so close to peace, to face the wrath he deserved in the afterlife, but he'd been denied sweet release - only to resume punishment on earth, though, wasn't that it? him paying for his sins?

every day was agony, the pain almost unbearable.. but then he woke up to find the other side of his bed occupied & he knew again why he even tried to hold on. sarah. love of his life, light, too. she'd pieced him back together both in the flesh & mind, but there was only so much she could do when the mind was weak...

joel was still far from good. he was further from death than months ago, so maybe he should count that as a win. his leg, shattered into tiny pieces, could barely hold his weight despite the crutch joel was bound to. then.. the face. the angry red that drew the reminder of that night across the left side of his face, forehead down to his lips was beginning to fade. his hair hid a good portion of the scars already, especially those above his ear - the light fuzz that he tended to grow was trying to drape across the abused skin, but still struggling.

at least he could hear again. sarah wanted to talk, he dreaded it, truly. she'd leave eventually, he knew. he wasn't being fair to her, but he couldn't help it. stuck in his own mind most days, joel had only barely noticed his love struggling with her own health, but ... he'd not been prepared for the truth.

sat in the living room, he... found himself speechless. "...what?"

[ireallymisscoffee]

@immvnityy: ❝ how did you survive? i—i thought i watched you fucking die, man. ❞

it's an excellent question, one joel had asked himself many, many times in the past, even before he met ellie. he'd come to the conclusion that this was his curse, his punishment - he didn't get to escape, no. he had to watch everybody he loved die, or leave him. it was his fate. just as it had been this time.

months had passed since the incident, joel had survived - but at what cost? he was trapped in this place now, spent most of his days & nights in pain. tommy could barely look at him these days, joel could see the guilt on his face when he did.

but here she was. for months he'd hoped she came. "i did, too. maria thought nobody should know. keep jackson safe." nobody had asked him what he wanted. "ellie, i...." he didn't want to bring this up again, the lie that cost him everything he fought for in the first place. "i missed you."

[ireallymisscoffee]

@grcxefallcn​ || that thing you’ve waited for heheh

it was lonely without castiel in the house. it was quiet, too quiet, although joel never had a problem with quiet really. it was comforting most times. he’d just been feeling a little on edge lately, stuck between the urge to run & the need to hide. apparently he wasn’t as subtle as he thought, because one early morning he heard shuffling in front of his door, heavy boots on wooden panels & hushed whispers. he wasn’t very fast these days, so it took him a little while to get to the door, only to find a box there. 

when castiel returned from patrol in the evening, he walked in on the older man on the couch in the living room, with a fluffy bundle of fur in his lap, yapping & twitching, standing upright in joel’s lap as footsteps approached. “cas.” he glanced up with a soft smile, “meet chloe.” as if on cue, the little puppy leapt off joel’s lap to greet the newcomer, sniffing & tail wagging excitedly. “tommy thought i needed somethin’ else to keep me busy.”

[ireallymisscoffee]

@grcxefallcn​ gets the thing

tommy woke him in the middle of the night, one of the patrols had returned with worrying news & caused a panic in the process, so maria sent out tommy & him to assess the situation, try & break up the horde coming their way. it was somewhat of a routine, if a bit more stressful tonight. joel had argued that back-up would be an advantage especially if they dealt with a horde that had grown men in this world wet themselves in fear. castiel had spent the night over & woke with him anyway, so why not bring him along, right?

they were on their horses & outside within twenty minutes, following one of the trails through the snow. adrenaline kept joel’s senses sharp, but he still felt tired - it had been a long night & after his chat with ellie, he’d been too worked up to sleep. things were still tense between them, he didn’t think she’d give him the silent treatment for over a year. he lied, yes, but .. he had his reasons. he stifled a little yawn in the back of his palm & let a little sigh sound. both tommy & castiel knew about ellie, they were the only ones, though. “sorry ‘bout last night. didn’t mean to crash the party.” he hadn’t meant to start anything, but when it came to ellie.. he couldn’t help it.

[ireallymisscoffee]

verse tag drop

mainverse v: deaтн ιѕ a мercy. an end тo ѕυғғerιng ( мaιn; poѕт тloυ pт.₂  \ canon dιvergenт )

pre tlou2  v: тoммy ѕaw тнe world one way. ι ѕaw тнe oтнer. ( pre тloυ pт.₂ \ canon )

tlou1  v: тo тнe edge oғ тнe υnιverѕe & вacĸ. endυre & ѕυrvιve ( тloυ pт.₁ \ canon )

pre tlou 1  v: we're noт ѕнιттy people. we're ѕυrvιvorѕ ( pre тloυ pт.₁  \ canon )

[ireallymisscoffee]

@seraphitr​ liked x for a starter

ellie never stayed, she always found a reason to leave after dropping lev off. joel never really had a problem with seraphites, a few run ins here & there, but he wasn’t a wolf & didn’t get in their way, so he couldn’t say he’d held a grudge against them at any point in time. not that it mattered as he’d long-since learnt not to judge people by their beliefs. he was a good kid, definitely shaken since the day he came to jackson, but if joel was one to judge, he’d say the kid was slowly warming up to the people here - to him. they spent a few days together each week, but it was mostly joel speaking, or working on sculptures while lev watched. he seemed interested, so joel had shown him a few tricks - had taken his time forming the head of a shark for his latest sculpture. 

“hey, kiddo.” he greeted the boy with a little smile as he poked his head into the room, “wanna help me finish that shark t’day?” 

[ireallymisscoffee]

@canadianwaterfalls​ liked x for a starter

joel did not do well like this, he did not do well at life in this .. form. being almost helpless, being almost a burden - with nothing left to give to the community that housed him. he felt all eyes on him whenever he left the house, the incident written all too clearly in scars on joel’s skin. he’d been growing out his hair again to cover up much of it, but hair took its time these days - or it always had, really. 

life would never be the same for him, but at least the kids ( & tommy ) had made it back in once piece. shimmer would be forever missed, but it could’ve gone much worse. today though, loss was set aside as joel meandered away from the safety of his own four walls. the limp all too obvious before he maneuvered his body on a bench. he wasn’t even halfway to breakfast yet. short break, soft sigh, but joel had never been one to give up - no matter the hardship that lay ahead. almost panting, joel collapsed on a bench just outside the building he’d set as his target location, but the voices inside reminded him it would be crowded, he’d have to stand & wait. 

unless.. lucky day.

“jesse, wait - hold on. you mind fetchin’ me breakfast from inside? seth’s makin’ a mean turkey sandwich...” please. 

[ireallymisscoffee]

@discontcnt​ liked x for a main verse starter

“anybody see you gettin’ this?” sat in his favorite chair in the living room, joel was sipping a cup of coffee - it wasn’t early morning per se, but lately he’d been indulging a bit .. more. near death experiences did that sometimes. he didn’t leave the house often anymore, getting from a to b inside was a struggle to begin with, so the idea of limping his way through town was .. not too tempting, but some things could only be acquired away from home. the caravans pack with traders & goods didn’t do home delivery. so he found himself a messenger, someone to trade in his name, but it had to be discreet. coffee didn’t come cheap these days. 

[ireallymisscoffee]

@lastofshe​ gets that plotted starter!

joel only rarely wandered far from home these days, age & careless behavior caught up to him after all, his body was in protest, demanding he take it easy, especially after the hardship it’d been through merely half a year ago. life was simple now, if .. it wasn’t boring per se, but surely less eventful than before. nights & mornings alike were spent on the porch in his favorite chair, either with coffee or his guitar in his lap. he could still play. it had taken some practice, slowly easing back into it, but he was doing well - considering. 

it had been a quiet morning so far, but people rushing past his house & indistinct mumbling, cheers & laughter carried through the otherwise empty roads of town quite well. what was going on? he could go check it out, but he could also wait for maria’s weekly update, which .. seemed like the more comfortable option. what he didn’t expect was for part of the group to roam his way. only when his eyes caught on an all too familiar face did he realize what the commotion had been about. or rather, who. 

“ellie?” she looked.. well, he’d walked the path she had, he knew vengeance - but she was alive. so many nights he’d spent awake worried. “howdy, kiddo.” maria was with her as expected. he mouthed a thank you her way, then pushed himself awkwardly off the chair, but kept a hand on the railing to take some of the weight off his leg.

[ireallymisscoffee]

@thelastofellie liked x for a starter

the irony. 

seth (of all the people) & maria were the ones to bring joel back to his house, she got him settled in bed the first night & announced they would soon let the others know what joel was -in fact, still alive. he wasn’t looking forward to that at all. he’d seen the flowers in front of his house, the letters & cards of people he’d come to care for & he knew he had to work his way through those at some point. not yet, though. he was steadily, slowly finding himself again after weeks of fighting death, months of recovery & the knowledge ellie was out there because of him. tommy too. what if they got hurt because of him? what if they died because of him?

he was in no shape to follow them & deep down he knew they were both capable, which didn’t help. a few weeks had passed & joel was trying to finish an order made before. he worked much slower now, but not with less enthusiasm, though when he heard footsteps on the stairs, he laid down the tool he was holding. he was much more on edge since the incident, the smallest noise riled him up. gun always by his side, he raised it up before he even saw the invader, “hands up where i can see ‘em.”