#big scar across his left side of the face
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mossygirl333 · 16 hours ago
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Tiramisu/Jello Shots but with a comfort focus rather than smut? Maybe Reader's feelings are hurt by being called stupid and their partner (Soap, Ghost, Gaz, Price, or König, your choice) immediately stops the scene when they realized they went too far/accidentally hit a limit and just comforts them/is extremely apologetic and gives them good aftercare?
AN: I'll try my best!! Honestly I feel like konig would do this bc he's very cocky and just gets super into it and he forgets you aren't into degradation and it just slips out
Bakery Order: Tiramisu- "Oh you're a drunk stupid thing arent you?" + Jello Shots- Aftercare
Konig x f!insecure!reader
TW/CW: smut in the beginning, slight degrading, insecure reader, heavy heavy aftercare, lots and lots of praise, lots of kisses, badly translated German <3
You hiccuped, he felt so big. Slamming into you, huffing in your ear. Weak 'uh uh uh's left your lips, eyes rolled back. The entire bed shook with his fast grinding, desperate to reach a high that was just out of his grasp.
Head swimming, overcome with everything that was you. The tang of your slick was still heavy on his tongue, heady and wanton. The smell of sex settling in his nose, making him breathe harder. Desire coiling up in every fiber of muscle, hands balling up on the side of your head.
"You dirty little slut huh? You drunken whore, letting me fuck you like a fleshlight."
His words finally register in your mind and the pressure in your stomach immediately goes away, eyes staring up at the ceiling as you go quiet.
He pauses, his hand sliding down to your side. "Oh...schatz-" He starts but your lip is already quivering. Your drunken mind making your emotions uncontrollable.
You sniffle, hiccuping pathetically. "Why did you say that to me? I'm not a-"
He starts to panic, guilt coiling in his stomach like some storm. He pulls out quickly, wiping your wet thighs. "Oh no no, schatz, please don't cry...I'm such a Dummkopf." He mumbles. "You aren't a slut. It slipped out.
You bleat, sniffling. "But you said I was!" Your shaky hands go up to your face, the familiar insecurity clawing up into your chest. Settling like some thick sticky oil in your heart. Sharp and sickly, a headache starting to form between glossy eyes.
"No...No...C'mere, come here." He cradles you in his hands, unsure of what to say. Brushing his scarred lips against your sweaty forehead. "You're such a beautiful girl...so beautiful. So worthy of respect and praise...My schatz." Your hiccups stop, sniffles grow quieter. "C'mon, you can say it..."
Your nose bumps up against his chest, your head pressed up against his warm skin. Heavy hands sliding across your waist. You mumble out a tiny, "I'm worthy of respect."
"Good girl, see?" He sits you up, wiping away the slick from your thighs. "It'll be okay. Okay?"
You quietly nod, clinging to him with your face nuzzled into his neck. The smell of sex, alcohol, and soap clung to his beard in the best way possible. Heavy meaty hands sliding you into his lap as he carried you into the bathroom. "Okay." You finally whisper.
He sat you down in the bathtub, turning on warm water. Sliding into the bathtub beside you. "We're gonna get all clean, and you're gonna take a nap, okay?" You feel his rough fingers brush against your tear stained cheeks, washing away the insecurity. Kissing your nose.
"y- yeah...that sounds nice..."
He washes off the sweat and grime from your body, sliding warm soap through your skin. Rough hands massaging into your back and ass, kissing down your spine.
Now fully pliable and melted into him, he wraps you up in a fluffy blanket and hoists you into the bedroom.
Warm clean clothes and a fresh face, you get tucked in. A final kiss being placed on your sleepy eyelids. "Goodnight my...gorgeous sweet girl.."
You drift off, his fingers scratching against your scalp.
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darkpuppysuit · 2 days ago
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Hybrid!BTSxReader
Kim Seokjin: Black Jaguar, Min Yoongi: Black Panther, Kim Namjoon: Grey Timber Wolf, Jung Hoseok: Red Fox, Park Jimin: Golden Retriever, Kim Taehyung: Snow Tiger, Jeon Jungkook: Yukon Moose
Warnings⚠️: Cursing, Smoking, Mental scars come back to haunt Y/n, verbal abuse (towards the end).
Honestly this is mostly purely domestic things will ramp up here soon enough, I promise.
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The wind blows me left and right as I push my way to the barn, rain is pelting me from all directions and I almost fall into the growing stream in front of the barn. Slipping through the crack of the big barn doors all I can see are the flickering candles that I had set out earlier in case the power went out, which it did the second I stood in front of my horse. She's stamping in her pen and jumping around obviously terrified by the raging storm or it could very well be the figures I saw run inside just mere minutes ago.
"Hey now, hush. You're okay Dovey." I do my best to soothe her, all is calm for a split second when her head darts to my right tracking something in the darkness and she starts to freak out again. Her head comes back with force colliding with mine and my ass meets the ground with a soft oof  slipping through my lips. "Mother fucker! Damn near broke my jaw doing that, knock it off!" I shout over the storm rubbing my lower jaw then lean back on one hand massaging the side of my head when there's a rustle in the hay bed directly in front of me.
A few moments pass by, then out of the corner of my eye, I spy a flash of orange sprint right into the other stall. "Hey, I'm not going to hurt you. Are you injured?" Lightning flashes outside with thunder booming closely behind letting me know we're in the thick of the storm and everything suddenly becomes scarier as it rages on outside yet it's almost dead silent inside the barn.
I stand up from my spot on the ground and make my way to the open stall across from Dove. Cautiously, keeping my hands raised as I make eye contact with a pair of glowing eyes narrowed in on my position. It doesn't feel like a death stare but a curious one although the narrow slits in its eyes says otherwise. "Hi, my name is Y/n. I've taken care of hybrids before I-" Pausing I mentally smack myself.
They're not going to trust you if you spout random shit like that, are you fucking serious?
I shrug my shoulders with an awkward smile. "Hi little guy." I barely move another step forward before I hear a low growl coming from my left and as I turn to face the noise, I'm quickly tackled to the ground by a fox hybrid. "Shit! Oh, y-you're not little a-are you?" I say shyly as the full grown fox hybrid looks up from the crook of my neck his pupils slightly blown out and his lips pressed into a soft heart shape, he's smiling and I can't help but stare at the gorgeous hybrid sitting on top of me before I break the silence.
"Uh-uhm c-could you, get off me?" I ask softly and the hybrids eyes widen quickly scrambling off of me. As we stand he curls his tail around his waist protectively and his ears pressed against the top of his head. "I-I'm sorry you just- y-you smell so good, I couldn't help myself." He mutters out his apology and I hear hay rustling again with quite a few pairs of footsteps followed behind with a low rumbling sound coming closer and my body goes ramrod stiff and eyes widen alarmingly as I look over to the fox hybrid. "I- it's f-fine."
I can barely get my response out of my mouth before I feel a firm rumbling chest press against my back. "Please, for all that is good in this world, tell me there isn't a m-moving, vibrating oak tree b-behind me." I stutter as my body begins to shake increasingly worse as the breathing brick wall lets out a low growl.
"Now that's enough you're scaring the poor girl! Can't you see she's shaking like a leaf!" I can't bring myself to turn around at all but the growling does stop eventually and my body relaxes just a little, if it relaxes at all. "I'm sorry about him he's just- protective." I nod in response bringing an arm up to wrap around my middle the best I can as I slowly spin around and back away with my head hung low, I bump into yet another chest and I freeze up again but I feel something soft and wet wrap around my waist instead.
"I'm sorry for scaring you." The mystery man says through gritted teeth, fighting against his natural instincts to protect his pack mates from the human in front of him. I hear him but I don't look up, my own fight or flight instincts have kicked in and I stare at the ground like a deer caught in the headlights of a car.
"Goddammit Namjoon, now look at what you've done, she's completely frozen!" Out of the corner of my eye I can see another pair of glowing eyes within the darkness, this one sounds blunt and to the point, oh boy I think to myself as I slowly try to ground myself by absently touching whoever the tail around my waist belongs to trying to move around it and get to the fabric underneath said tail so I can pick at it.
I close my eyes for a moment and only when the hybrid's chest meets my back do I realize I'm stroking it's tail, I quickly let go still a little dazed . "U-uhm, s-so, if you're going to s-stay here, I'm going to need names a-and... uhm- hybrid species so I can take care of you three? Or is there four of you?" I ask quizzically as the power turns back on and the barn is bathed in a warm golden light of the old lightbulbs that haven't been changed in years. 
As soon as my eyes adjust I open them again to not only find three or four but seven hybrids, yes seven male hybrids I count them at least three times as I look around me. There was a black panther hybrid with long black hair covering some of his handsome features leaning against a wall with his arms crossed just staring.
A golden retriever wrapped around my waist by his tail and his chest still rattling against my back staring anywhere but at me with the fox standing next to him awkwardly. What I'm pretty sure is a jaguar hybrid whispering to a damn giant grey wolf hybrid, he is a least a good foot or two taller than me. In fact now that I look around the room all of them are much bigger than me and it's daunting.
I'll have to look up at all of them just to speak to them. "Are we going to stand here while she stares at us or are we gonna get moving?" I look up and find kind eyes and soft features but the rest of him doesn't match his face.
He's tall with long dark curly hair, two lip piercings and a brow piercing, his arms are covered in tattoos too. He reminds me of an old greaser from the movies my grandparents used to watch. I look up and see he has two.... moose antlers? But they're small and form a halo around his head. "Don't be an ass Jungkook she's already scared enough as is." A hand meets my shoulder and it takes me a solid second to turn to the jaguar hybrid beside me. "Hi." I squeak mentally cursing my vocal cords.
This is so fucking awkward, why did I come out here? 
Oh, that's right I thought they were going to ransack the barn.                                                                                                                                            
It's their turn to stare, I would be flattered any other day that wasn't today but right now this is beginning to be too much for my racing heart and my nerves are shot. My mind is fogged and with the intense stare down from six hybrids my knees are close to buckling out from under me.
Just as the jaguar opens his mouth to speak Dove starts freaking out for a moment and I speed walk around the broad shouldered hybrid to get to her but she's calm as I walk towards her and when my eyes look up to see why I spot the tall fluffy, curly hair, tiger? Albino tiger, no his stripes are black not the usual odd blonde color, the ears on top of his head stand out like a sore thumb against his brown curls that lay just above his eye brows.
I steel myself and calmly walk over to him and Dove with a gentle yet shaky hand I pat her neck and the hybrid shuffles away a few steps. "She seems to like you." I manage to speak without my vocal cords betraying me this time, now that most of the other hybrids are within earshot and I can see most of them out of the corner of my eye I start to feel better about the whole situation.
"She likes it when you pat her neck, it's weird she doesn't like to be touched all that much by strangers but, by the looks of it she's comfortable around you, uhm." I stop for a second and look up at the snow tiger hybrid. "Taehyung." He holds his hand out for me to shake and I look between him and his outstretched hand a few times before he takes my hand into his and it completely engulfs my small hand within his grip.
Letting go I turn my attention back to Dove with pink cheeks and pat her neck again to show Taehyung how she likes to be shown affection and he copies my actions before a cough brings me out of my personal distraction and my body stiffens again.
"A-anyways, I don't mind you staying here but the barn needs a few repairs and the roof leaks quite a bit so with that being said, the house has plenty of space for you guys to spread out if you'd like and if not I can bring out some blankets and pillows for the night. If that's what you-"
Looking over my shoulder I can see the retriever and fox hybrid bouncing in place with small smiles on their faces and Taehyung wraps himself around my body in a warm hug while the others share a silent conversation. I lean into the hug and the warmth Taehyung's body gives off is comforting for a moment before the grey wolf lets out an exasperated sigh pinching the bridge of his nose and I quickly stand up straight.
"We'll go to the house with you if it's not too much trouble." A smile comes across my face for the first time in a while and I scrunch my nose a little in excitement to not have an empty house anymore. "Awesome! I made a little more food than I had planned on eating tonight so that works out perfectly! I'll make a little more since there's seven of you, okay?" I grab Dove's bridle and saddle off the far wall and saddle her up before giving her a kiss on top of her head, I hear a few whines off to the side but I don't comment on it.
"I'll be back, I'm sure we have a lot of work this morning." My previous anxiety about being around four apex predators, a moose, red fox, and a retriever melt away like the first frost of winter. I take a look outside from the big barn doors and smile, the rain has stopped and the sun is starting to rise.
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As I open the door with the hybrids behind me and the fox and retriever flanking either side of me talking animatedly which has me laughing for the first time in a while. Looking around the yard I stop by the hen house to check on the little chicks and the mother hens, the fox looks at them curiously but once I determine they're okay I walk up the porch steps with the seven hybrids in tow.
"So this is the kitchen if you need anything and can't find it nine times out of ten it's gonna be in the walk in pantry just over there." I point to my right to the double doors against the far wall as we walk through the kitchen I stop in the foyer in front of the stairs. "Now these stairs are old and creak like nobody's business." I take a few steps up and they let out a shrill creak, a few of their ears flatten against their heads at the horrid sound. "So be careful when your walking around this house is old. My grandfather's grandfather built this house back when people could afford to build anywhere they wanted." I smile and walk further into the house.
"This is the parlor room er- the living room, uhm, there is a game system hooked up with a giant wall of movies-" I turn around and they have disbursed into different areas of the large room looking around at the pictures and paintings on the wall.
A warm feeling envelopes my heart and tears well up in my eyes as I watch all of them walking around being curious except for the wolf hybrid, who stands in the archway between the living room and foyer, staring me down like prey with his arm crossed, like he's waiting for me to throw them out or something.
If it wasn't for his overwhelming stature and broad build that reminds me so much of my asshole father maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't feel like he is about to murder me in my own home. "S-so uhm, the bedrooms are upstairs. You can pick any bedroom you want or if you want me to s-show you-" I flinch hard when the retriever runs up to me grabbing my hand to drag me back to the foyer and up the stairs. I know he saw me flinch but I'm thankful he didn't say anything. Soon they've all settled into their respective rooms, I've learned their names as we toured the upstairs so that part of my brain has now relaxed to an extent.
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I stand at the stove in the kitchen making breakfast with Jimin glued to my side like a well, for lack of a better phrase, a lovesick puppy. "And then we pour a little bit into the pan like this." I'm cooking pancakes with eggs and sausage with a few other dishes in different cast iron skillets like my grandmother used to do when I was little and I would spend the night when my father had gotten bad before they realized just how shitty he could really be. "Once the top starts bubbling that's when you know it's ready to flip over, see?"
Jimin stares in awe as I flip the pancake over and the bottom is a crispy golden brown. Perfect. After breakfast was done I called out for the rest of the house to come and get it like a dinner bell. One by one they file in from either the living room or their bedrooms but the footsteps stop short in the archway, staring at the table.
"All of this? For us?" The hybrid I've come to know as Jin is actually a very soft individual despite his predator counterpart. "Of course, I'm lucky enough to of had all my cast irons washed and seasoned yesterday so I cooked a big breakfast for you guys. I'm sure you're all hungry."
I smile brightly at all of them as Jungkook is the last to arrive. "Holy shit look at all this food. Are you a line cook or something?" He looks at me with his big innocent looking eyes, I chuckle and set a few paper plates down with plastic silverware and napkins, standing off to the side. "Well, don't just stand there find a spot and dig in." I smile brightly, Jimin and Hoseok are the first to sprint to the table followed closely by Taehyung and Jungkook (who look like they could eat all of it by themselves if they wanted to) followed by Yoongi and Jin.
I walk over to the sink and take a sip of my energy drink, doing my best to stay awake while looking at the six hybrids sitting at my table, I can't help but smile softly at the scene in front of me. They're talking like a family who hasn't been without each other their entire lives, arguing with each other like siblings and feeding each other and stuffing their cheeks as if this would be their last meal, they had to taste everything.
Namjoon being the ever so silent yet calculating pack alpha stands in the doorway again before Jin is dragging him to sit at the opposite head of the table with the chair across from him, empty. "Aren't you going to join us?" Taehyung looks up from the spot next to the empty chair with his cheeks filled with food and I look at him my face burning with the intense eye contact. "Oh, uh, no I gotta get back outside and take a look at what damage the storm caused. But you guys are welcome to roam if you want and if you need me just holler and I'll be back in as soon as I can."
They share a look between them and I barely hear Jimin whisper the word 'holler' again phrased like a question to Hoseok before they shrug their shoulders and go back to eating. Taehyung breaks his gaze to focus on his plate shaking his head as I walk out into the small nook that houses my work gear. Just as I buckle the last spur onto my boot, I feel someone tapping my shoulder and I jump back with my fists raised.
"Hey whoa take it easy, didn't mean to startle you." I take a deep breath and clutch my chest whilst trying to calm my racing heart. "It's decided, you need a fucking bell." I deadpan, Yoongi's cheeks turn a soft shade of pink as I grab my hat off the hook and put it on my head tying my hair back in a low ponytail. "Uhm, I wanted to ask you if there's any, extra blankets-" I quickly cut him off because I've already made Dove wait this long to get back outside I can't make her wait much longer before she starts going stir crazy.
"Oh, yeah the linen closet is just under the stairs there should be a few quilts in there or something, I gotta get back outside, Doves been waiting for almost two hours and I gotta check on the cows." I pat Yoongi on the head and his cheeks burn brighter as my pinky gently brushes the base of his ear. "I'll be right outside if you need me okay?" I say as I walk through the front door and into the side yard to start picking up the tree limbs. 
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A few hours of picking up limbs  and throwing them in the bed of the truck with a few other tasks checked off my mental list. I've left the biggest branch for last because, well, it's a big bitch but I'm sure I can handle it by myself for the most part.
"Hey let me help you." I jump a foot backwards from the truck hearing my fathers voice for a moment before I turn around to see Namjoon standing on the other side of the truck.
"Uhm, thanks but I got it handled." I speak awkwardly as I shift to the large branch only for Namjoon to move around the truck and swiftly come to my aide. "Let me help you, it's a big branch Y/n I don't think you can lift it by yourself. " In the back of my mind I know he's just trying to help but I've gone three years doing stuff like this alone. I growl at him and scowl, Namjoon is quick to return the growl ten fold as I stare at him in the eyes.
"I said, I fucking got it." I don't know why my first reaction is anger maybe it's because he reminds me so much of my father a little too much or my other issue being I like to challenge myself from time to time. I grab the branch by the broken end as the other hybrid's run out of the back door wanting to help or to diffuse the situation I don't know.
I pick it up and toss it into the truck before jumping onto Dove's back from behind her pulling the straps to the right. "I told you I didn't need help. Now, did you need anything else?" I ask looking down at the hybrid's below me from the horses back, they can smell the frustration and anger rolling off the pair of us having a staring competition.
I can't help but feel a little pissed but also a little scared as Namjoon turns and pushes pass the others back into the house growling and throwing his hands around in anger and frustration.
I take a deep breath once he's finally inside, my hard shell cracking down around me. "I know you guys mean well but I got this, I'm sure you've been through enough and need to rest. We can all go out and get you some less holy clothes, maybe a few pairs of shoes and whatever else y'all want." My southern drawl slips out to the men around me and there is a long pause accompanied by a few unblinking stares between us before Dove starts stamping her hooves into the mud.
"Right, we can do all that tomorrow, I'll take the afternoon off. Uhm, can any of you drive a truck? I usually pull her along side but that's too slow and I would like to get this shit done so I can cook dinner for everyone later." I ask awkwardly leaning over to pat Dove's neck to both calm her and distract myself from the lingering stares on me.
Jin slowly raises his hand and I smile at him. "Could you drive it through the gate? I'll show you were the burn pile is out in the field. Maybe after it dries up enough we can light a fire? There's enough wood here to have it burn for a day or two." I shrug my shoulders after I kick the side of the truck and both Jimin and Hoseok walk over to Dove and I, looking down and to my right at Hoseok. "Do you think Jimin and I can ride out there with you?" I look between him and Jimin curiously, mentally trying to figure out how to do this.
"You guys want to ride in the bed of the truck or with me?" I can't help but giggle at their smiling faces and swishing tails. Jimin looks nervous as he brushes his fingers through his golden blonde tail. "I don't know how to ride a horse though." He says sheepishly as he looks intently at the ground. "That's okay Jimin honey, you can sit in front and we can make Hoseok take the ass end." Jimin's smile returns to his plush lips while Hoseok looks slightly offended or hurt by my remark but his soft smile is quick to return to his handsome face as I take Jimin's hand and tell him to put his foot in the stirrup and climb up as I pull him in front of me only he's facing the wrong way and I can't help but laugh softly. "Jimin sweety, you need to turn around." I adjust my hat on my head as his perfect cheeks are graced with a cute shade of pink.
"O-oh, s-sorry." I tell him it's okay and lean back so he can swing his feet over to the correct sides of the saddle and I look over to Hoseok if he needs any help. "Come on Hobi! It's a whole other world up here!" Jimin shouts as Dove moves back and forth a little spooked by the sudden volume change, Hoseok quickly grabs my outstretched hand and hauls himself up to sit behind me and I blush as he snakes his long arms around my middle and lays his head on my back rubbing his cheek against the nape of my neck, absently scenting.
I grab the straps to the bridle tightly. "Okay Dovey, let's get this shit done." I urge her to move forward slowly but she has other ideas and jolts forward as if this is the happiest she's ever been. I grab onto the back of Hoseok's tattered shirt when she sprints forward, him and Jimin let out a scream and with my other hand I yank the bridle back and she stops only to walk a little slower. The others laugh as they get into the truck and Jin drives it through the gate except Yoongi he walks back to the house either to check on Namjoon or take a nap, who knows.
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Once all of the branches are thrown on the ever growing burn pile I wipe the sweat from my forehead and set my hands on my hips standing next to the truck. "Thanks for the help guys, it would've taken me for-fucking-ever to get this done without you." I huff wiping off more sweat when Jimin runs over to me with big eyes.
"Y/n-ie! When do you think we could light that fire?" His words pour out of his mouth quickly like a running faucet, I lay my hands on his shoulders and he calms down just a little. "We have to wait until the wood isn't soaking wet Jimin-ie." The small nickname that falls from my lips causes his energy to spike, giving him a soft smile before ruffling his hair, returning my hands to my jean pockets. "The next few days are going to be warm and sunny so, I'll probably be out here more often than not." Jimin nods and goes back to playing with Hoseok jumping around happily as he relays the information I just told him.
Digging into my jacket pocket, I pull out my pack of cigarettes and light one as I watch Taehyung join in on the fun. Taking a drag Jungkook walks over to me, leaning his hip against the truck, "Care if I steal one?" I turn to face him cocking an eyebrow. He points to the cigarette hanging from my mouth.
"They're menthol are you sure?" I ask as I open the pack again he just shakes his head so I hand one to him. He reaches for the lighter before I hold it out of reach. "Nah-ah, I've had too many lighters go missing. I'll light it."
Jungkook furrows his brows and looks at me like I'm half crazy then he leans forward waiting. I hold the lighter in front of his face and he lights it but he doesn't move away, instead he looks me in the eyes and smirks when my cheeks grow hotter than they already were.
We're so close one move and I'll hit my head on his fucking antlers. "You know anyone of us, even Jimin, could over power you at any given minute, right?" He takes another drag of his cigarette before leaning back against the truck finally giving me breathing room.
"I know that, I'm used to dealing with dog and cat hybrid's so a good chunk of all of this is new to me. I'm used to them staying either a few hours and then moving on or leaving after a night of rest. Which you guys should be doin' anyways." I nudge him in his side with a smile taking the last drag of my cigarette flicking it onto the wet pile across from me. "We would've gotten some rest had you not challenged the alpha wolf earlier."
I turn my head away from him and look off to my right, Dove has joined the hybrids and I see Taehyung take off running after her like they're playing a game of tag. "I'm sorry about that. It's just- I- he-" I shake my head and rub the back of my neck looking back at him when Hoseok almost falls to the ground stifling the laugh caught in my throat. "You don't have to justify your actions Y/n. He needs to be knocked down a peg or two anyways. Two alpha's of different species going at it is always fun to watch." Jungkook flicks his own cigarette butt into the pile before turning towards me with his hands slipping into his back pockets.
"Two alph- no, ugh, he wanted to help me with the big branch but then he said he didn't think I could lift it, I don't know why those words triggered me the way they did, he was just trying to help and I bit his fucking head off." I take a deep breath, rubbing my face in frustration calling Dove over. "I'm quick to anger and I'm sorry if any of you have to see it, much less deal with it yourselves. I've been doing my best to fix my face I swear."
I tap my cheeks as the horse trots up to meet me and I glance at him to try and gage his reaction but he remains stoic and unaffected by my words like he's trying to process how not to piss me off or something. He does let a chuckle come through so, that makes me feel a little better. "Y/n-ie! Can I ride with you this time?" I turn my head to see Taehyung all up in my bubble with his chin on my shoulder and his white striped tail swaying back and forth excitedly hoping I'll say yes.
"Of course you can! Move for a second I don't wanna kick ya in the face." He moves to the opposite side of the horse and I swing my leg over and sit on the saddle with my thighs squished against her sides and I look over at Taehyung. "Think you could do that by yourself?" He looks at me and then the saddle and back to me, I raise a brow at him like dude, come on you got long legs surely you don't need help up.
I roll my eyes and give him a hand and he sets his foot into the stirrup before hauling himself onto the back of the horse. "Good boy." The words leave my lips and I don't even notice the look him and Jungkook share once those words fall from my mouth because Jimin quickly sits in front of me distracting me from looking at the pair and I can't help but smile at his eagerness.
I hold onto the bridle straps and wrap my arms around Jimin this time and rest my chest against his back to make a little more room for Taehyung. Once everyone is settled and a pouting Hoseok is put into the bed of the truck with Jungkook who keeps smiling at the two blushing hybrids sitting horseback holding onto me tightly, myself oblivious to the people around me as always.
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I get into the house and take my boots and coat off, everyone is toeing their shoes off next to mine, and awkwardly standing in the crowded nook waiting. I look around at the four of them around me when Jungkook pushes through from the back making his way to sit in the living room with Taehyung who attaches himself to the hem of his shirt, closely following the moose hybrid.
I walk to the kitchen with Jimin and Jin in tow. "What do you guys want for dinner?" I open the large pantry that also holds a big freezer to the left and endless shelves of snacks and treats as well as dry ingredients to the right. "I'm not picky so I don't care what you make, I'll eat it." Jungkook yells from the living room Taehyung silently nodding along, reminding me just how good hybrid hearing really is.
"Okay then I'll make some chicken enchiladas for you six and for Namjoon as an apology for ripping him a new asshole earlier..." I think for a moment clicking my tongue as I sift through the shelves then walk over to the large freezer.
I open it up and set a hand on my hip tonguing the inside of my cheek lost in thought then I find what I was looking for. "Ah-hah! Found it!" I practically jump into the freezer, my feet coming off the ground a few inches. Standing back on my feet, I pull out a T-bone steak and throw it on top of the freezer once it's closed and move to look for the rest of the ingredients for enchiladas and a glass pan to cook it in. 
Pulling the pan out of the oven and setting it on the potholders on the table I waddle back to the stove top to finish the steak and little fixings I put together for Namjoon. I make his plate and set it in the microwave above the stove incase he doesn't come down right away.
"Dinner is re-" I turn around to find my table already filled with bodies and I raise my hands level with my shoulders. "Okay, nevermind. Where's Namjoon?" I peek into the fridge and grab the few bottles of salsa and hot sauce that I have along with a small tub of sour cream and set it all on the table. Jungkook and Taehyung already putting their plates together. "Make sure you save some for me you heathens!"
I shout playfully pointing my finger at the two hybrids across the table as I walk away from the kitchen to find the wolf hybrid. "Hey! Dinner's ready! I know you can hear me mister!" I shout from the bottom of the stairs after I couldn't find him in the living room. I feel like a mother who has to drag her teenage son from his room just to eat with everyone for a change.
It might have only been a few hours but having people to take care of instead of just the farm animals is a feeling I don't want to lose. "I'll go get him Y/n, you go eat." Jin rubs my shoulder with a small smile that I return. "Thanks Jin, I owe you one." He rubs my back in soothing circles then heads upstairs and I leave the staircase back to the kitchen.
A few moments later I hear the grumbling voices of both Namjoon and Jin arguing while walking down the stairs. "She made me something different?" His tone of voice was softer as he rounded the corner to see his seat was empty and there was no plate in sight. Mid bite I quickly stand up from my chair knocking it over as I rush to the microwave.
"Shit sorry! I left it in here so it would stay hot." I take his still very hot plate out of the microwave and slamming it shut making everyone wince at the loud noise. Jin takes his place by Jimin and starts eating his own food when his eyes light up. "Oh my god this is amazing Y/n! Where did you learn to cook?" He asks as he shoves another much bigger bite into his mouth and I set Namjoon's plate in front of his respective seat. "My grandma taught me how to cook and my mother taught me how to bake when I was little."
I look at the floor as Namjoon takes his seat and I can't help but tear up a little. They notice a change in my scent instead of the normal leather and cedar wood with a hint of coconut and vanilla, Jin was quick to do damage control. "I'm sorry if it's a touchy subject, I'll be more careful wi-" I quickly look up and cut him off, I seem to have a habit of that. I shake my head a little. "No it's okay! My uh, my mom died when I was... when I was like ten and I only had one friend growing up so..."
I trail off and look to Namjoon who has yet to touch his food, he's just sitting there shuffling in his seat and I set a hand on his shoulder. "Namjoon? You okay?" He looks up at me and the faintest pink blush creeps across his cheeks. "Y-yeah, I'm fine." His short reply is enough for me to nudge him with my hip. "Then eat honey, I wanted to apologize to you for my uh- for being pissed at you earlier. I didn't mean to I just, get upset when someone tells me I can't do something or they hint at me not being able to do something. That's all."
I give him a half smile as he cuts into his steak and I wait for him to take the bite, subtly his eyes shine for a second before he swallows and turns to me opening his mouth to speak. "It's good th-thank you." I smile at him and clasp my hands together and my smile somehow gets bigger when out of the blue I hug him from the side. His tail makes a soft thumping sound against the back of his chair but he quickly stops it as though the sudden action had bitten him.
"I'm so happy you like it Joon!" I release him and speed waddle my way back to my seat to finish my food. The is table finally filled and I smile as I take a bite looking across the way as the others return to the plates in front of them and resume their conversations.
Jin is staring at Namjoon with a smile on his face, looking at the hybrid next to him spacing out looking at his plate frozen in place, after a moment he looks up at me and his cheeks burn a rosy red before he quickly goes back to eating.
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After everyone is finished I take the plates and glass pan off the table walking to the sink to start cleaning them as most of the hybrid's have moved into the living room. Yoongi stands over my shoulder watching me wash the dishes and put them in the drying rack. "May I help you?" I ask curiously smiling as I half turn towards the panther hybrid behind me with a plate in hand. "I can- Do you want any help?"
He corrects himself as he remembers the conversation from earlier. "Oh, well, you don't have to help if you don't want to, it's okay." I shrug my shoulders while he shakes his head moving to the side grabbing a towel before drying the few dishes stacked to his right. "It's the least I can do after you've cooked for us twice now and I don't think any of the others are going to help." I look at him for a second before leaning back to look into the living room.
Taehyung and Jungkook have started a video game to play together and Jin is sitting on the couch behind the two on the floor watching while Hoseok and Jimin are playing around with a tennis ball they found somewhere (where they found it I have no clue) and Namjoon is sitting on the recliner reading a book from the nearby shelf with his long legs crossed over each other.
"Well I guess one helper is better than none." He nods and we talk for a little bit before a comfortable silence takes over the kitchen, it's nice to have company but not have the need or want to fill the soundless void.
With the dishes dried and put in the correct places (Yoongi needed help at least four times before he memorized the whole kitchen) I dry my hands off and set the towel on the oven handle before moving to the stairs. "I'm going to take a shower if you need any-" Jungkook interrupts by screaming. "Take that you cheating mother fucker!" In triumph he throws his hands in the air, Taehyung covering his eyes chuckling out of frustration his strategy didn't work anymore and I just giggle.
"I'm going to take a shower if you need anything, ask Yoongi." I point behind me as he walks forward trying to catch me before I sprint up the stairs laughing. He turns to face the room staring at him. "Don't ask me for a fucking thing, I barely got the kitchen down."
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Stepping out of the shower I take a long look in the mirror. "Seven of them, that's a lot to handle. They're probably going to leave in the morning anyways so what's the point in putting them in better clothes?" I ask myself as I get dressed in an oversized band tee and long basketball shorts before the mirror talks back.
"Look at you, once a whore always a whore."
I recognize that voice, it's the same voice that would yell at me for something as little as spilling his beer when I brought it to him. "That's right babygirl, it's daddy." It whispers nastily.
I whip around and the only person I see in the mirror is myself, shaking my head I turn to walk back into my room when I see him through the mirror next to my bed and I freeze in front of it. "I'm sure you'll be a good fuck for those beasts, huh?" His reflection stares back with a shit eating grin, I grit my teeth and ball my hands into fists. "You're not real, I shot you four fucking times."
My mind flashes back to that night shivering at the image of his skull and brain matter littering the basement walls. "Oh sweetheart, you know that won't stop me from seeping into your subconscious. You know that better than anyone. Trauma like yours runs deeper than what people can see."
The venom drips from his mouth as he speaks it's acidic and my hands begin to hurt with how hard I'm pressing my nails into my palms. "Just go away dickwad, I don't need this shit." I wave him off but just when I think this illusion of my father couldn't get any more real he grabs my jaw, digging his fingers into my round cheeks. "You listen here cocksheath I don't need the attitude so drop it."
He growls and I nod out of habit, this was the first time he had actually touched me which meant he can hurt me if he wanted to, which I'm sure he does. "Sorry darlin' old habits die hard, ya know?" He chuckles darkly letting me go and I fall to my knees with a thud tears threatening to fall from my already puffy eyes.
"Such a good girl for daddy. Now get those filthy creatures out of here!" He shouts words only I can hear and my blood begins to boil. "They're not creatures, they're just as much of a human as I am." I whisper knowing if I shout back at him someone will come and wonder who I'm screaming at when they find me alone.
"No they're not! They belong in a zoo or a circus, they're freaks!" I cover my ears and rock back and forth while humming trying to block him out. "Pay attention to me bitch!" My body is shaking violently as he keeps shouting at me the world be damned at this point.
I stand up on my bare feet and look him in the eyes and my fist goes flying before I have a second to think about it, the mirror shatters into a million pieces and I fall knees first onto the shards below me, my face relaxed and void of all emotion.
I vaguely hear numerous pairs of feet running upstairs as I stare at the blood slowly covering the floor underneath me, I stare blankly at the floor when my bedroom door flies open, I don't dare move, still lost in my own head space. "Y/n! Fuck." Jungkook and Yoongi are the first to burst through the door followed closely by the others.
"Don't move that's a lot of shards on the floor." Yoongi is mindful of the broken mirror when he walks slowly towards my kneeling figure in the dimly lit room as the others stand nervously inside by the door.
"Y/n?" He waves his hand in front of my face and I flinch backwards and my back hits the bed, bringing my knees up to my chest I can't catch my breath and start breathing rapidly.
Bringing my hands up to my face to deflect the blow I'm sure was about to meet my body. "Please, stop. I-I'll be good I swear! I won't do it again." Of course this is when I can't tell illusion from reality, I try to make myself as small as I can so maybe the figure in front of me won't hurt me.
"Y/n, it's Yoongi. You're alright, we won't hurt you." He raises his hand to pull my arms from my face to reveal my red puffy eyes and wet cheeks, my eyes full of pain. "Take a deep breath for me okay? Deep breath kitten come on."
I keep my eyes trained on my knees unwilling to meet their gaze. My breathing slowly regulates and I eventually come back to reality, slowly taking in the environment around me and the seven hybrid's standing around my bedroom door with worried faces.
Jimin is crying against Taehyung's chest while silent tears fall from his eyes, Hoseok is hiding behind Namjoon with his tail tucked between his legs while the wolf hybrid stands tall resisting the urge to pick me up, put me into bed and scent the hell out of me until he decides it's enough.
Jin is shaking and out of breath from running up the stairs quicker than he ever has before while Jungkook is standing next to Yoongi who's kneeling in front of me his expression the calmest out of them but he's anything but calm his primal need to scent and soothe almost clouds his judgment when he takes my hand that sucker punched the mirror into his own.
"Sweetheart, where do you keep the first aid kit? Can you tell me?" His voice is soft and quiet I almost didn't hear him. Looking at him nodding towards my bathroom, he tears his eyes away from me to tell one of them to go grab it then quickly turns his attention back to my shaking form. 
"Let's move you to the bed so we can get you cleaned up." I shake my head determined to stay on the floor, to stay as small as I possibly can. Namjoon grunts and my head snaps to him waiting by the door, meeting his eyes for all but a moment before Hoseok comes back with the first aid kit from the bathroom and hands it off to the panther hybrid in front of me.
He sets a hand on my shoulder trying to look me in the eyes and failing when I bring my head into my lap. "I'm going to clean the blood off your hand and knees, okay?" I shake my head and he takes my bloody hand in his, without missing a single step he tilts his head to look at the hybrids at the door. "Could one of you find the broom and clean this up so she doesn't cut her foot when I put her in bed?"
I let out a hiss of pain when the cotton bud soaked in alcohol meets a particularly deep cut on my knuckles. "N-no, I'll c-clean it, please don't feel the need to clean up my mess. I hate that you have to see me so weak, I'm not worth fretting over like this." I take my hand back tears falling from my eyes before Yoongi is finished cleaning it but he quickly takes it back with a tsk and I raise my head.
"That's bullshit and you know it. Nobody with a heart like yours could be worthless." He scowls at me not out of anger but out of concern for my well being.
I watch him clean and bandage the wounds on my body silently and I've calmed down quite a bit surprisingly enough. "Can you stand?" Jungkook makes his presence known, I look down and try to push my big ass off of the floor but my legs quickly turn into mush and I fall back down to the floor, a piece of glass cuts into my already bandaged hand and starts to bleed.
"I swear you're more accident prone than Namjoon." Jungkook chuckles trying his best to make light of the current situation. He nudges past Yoongi to me and picks me up bridal style then turns to set me on the bed. "Do you want to talk about it?" He looks down at me with his sweet chocolate brown eyes and I give him a small smile shaking my head no.
"Give me your hand, clumsy woman. I should've known you'd be accident prone when your chair fell over standing up from the kitchen table earlier." Yoongi rolls his eyes as he patches my hand yet again and my smile grows tenfold. "I know, I'm sorry you guys had to see me like this and take care of me. Haven't even been here a day." I apologize to the room as Yoongi kisses my wrist before putting it by my side again.
"Don't apologize kit. You have nothing to be sorry for and don't argue with me." His eyes flash yellow with narrow slits in the middle before they quickly go back to normal and I nod in return my eyes slowly closing before shooting open again looking over at Jimin and he walks over with his tail wrapped around his waist.
"I'm sorry I made you cry Jiminie." I sniffle before he comes closer to my bed, careful to avoid the broken mirror and Yoongi who's bent over to sweep up the shards with the broom Taehyung finally brought up. "I was so scared when I saw the blood, I thought you- I- I thought..." Tears fill his eyes again and I caress his face wiping away the stray tear that fell onto his pink cheek.
He moves to crawl into bed behind me on instinct before he stops looking at me for permission and I give him a nod before he moves under the blankets behind me. He cuddles against my back and rubs his nose against the nape of my neck to soothe his own nerves as he wraps his arm around my stomach and under my head.
The others slowly make their way out of the room leaving Jimin, Yoongi and myself alone. Yoongi sits at the edge of the bed gently kneading my calf while Jimin snores softly tightening his grip and rubbing his cheek against my neck every so often so I knew he was still here.
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hinamie · 2 months ago
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congrats on your recovery n all yuuji but unfortunately for you I thought the scars were cool >:/
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#these took so long i kept getting distracted cries#but they r done and this is yuuji's post canon scar map to me. argue with a wall we should have had this#looks at canon this sign won't stop me bc i cant read >:(#smh robbed!!!!!! the potential!!!!! the aesthetic!!!!! th angst the symbolism!!!!!!#gege i respect u i do not want beef after u let my boys live#but u rly couldnt have scuffed him up a LITTLE more.....there were so many to choose from didnt u have a favourite.....#all he has to show fr all that r two little scratches. rly.#((not counting the ear n fingers thank god i get That much))#anyway i made a whole post abt why i think yuuji should have kept the scars n what it would have stood for symbolically#its along th same lines as the yuuji Big Face Scar agenda hh i just care a lot abt character design n visual storytelling ok#anyway fine he can keep the eye but in this house it grew back wrong it's lighter and foggy and now his prescription is stronger#as fr the rest#megumi has dibs on the upper right eye apparently so yuuji can have the bottom half#i would have doubled down on the scars on his left but a. the right side is the symbolic one#b. he healed an entire eye so it makes sense tht he'd heal other more minor injuries as well#c. tbh it's mostly based on what looked good i think this arrangement guides the eye across his face nicely#gave him a lil nose nick bc smth smth sukuna idk it's just there to balance things out#also as i said. the jaw and neck scar are there for kissing purposes i make the rules im salty and i do what i want smile#in other news thank u past hina fr doing those hair render studies im very happy with my yuuji hair as of late
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makoodles · 1 year ago
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I would give anything to know Ghost’s inner monologue during any part of the last fic you posted. Is he purposefully getting into her space at the beginning (because we all know Ghost is too aware of his body and his trauma to accidentally touch anyone, let along have his entire side against them)? When he walks in does he just blue-screen, is that why he doesn’t immediately leave? What is he thinking when he sees our wet cunt still stuffed? When he finds out no one has touched us that way, or made us cum? When we want him to fuck us so badly we beg him to do it raw? Does his heart break a little when he heard us say we thought he left us, while we were so vulnerable and still dirty? Is he also freaking out about the fraternization stuff, or has he decided that we are his in the same way that he is ours, and Price will just have to cover up another damn thing for his team?
yes to all of this
(a little drabble part 2 to this)
Ghost has a little habit, when you're concerned. He's usually hyper-aware of his body and his limbs and where he's touching, what's around and beside and behind him. His skin itches sometimes when he's touched without warning, though he always hides his reactions. But with you... he's not so careful. He lets his legs spread, his arms stretch, lets himself crowd into your space. There's something intoxicating about the way that you let him, the way you never lean away from him. You're just so soft, so warm, always letting him infringe on your space with a sweet little smile as though you're happy to see him. You're one of the rare people who are happy to see him, and it makes something uncomfortably warm wriggle in his belly.
So yeah, he leans into you when he sits next you in the rec room. It's mostly muscle memory, because you've never minded before. But today, you're a little tense. Ghost knows you, knows you well. He can see the way your spine is a little stiff, the way your eyes are a little glassy as you stare off into the distance. You look a little... ruffled. Ghost watches you carefully out of the corner of his eye, probes a little, but backs off when you dance around his question. He's knows boundaries well, and he won't push yours. Even if he thinks it's... strange that you leave so quickly, eyes averted.
Finding your phone wedged into the seat after you left was like an opportunity. Simon Riley has never had much, he's always made do, and yet he's admittedly greedy when it comes to you. He's not often a selfish man - he's never had enough to be selfish about - and yet he's hungry for your time, your smiles, your touch. And you're always so generous with yourself, so he doesn't second-guess his decision to follow you down the hall to your quarters. He's never been there before, and he wants to see your space, hungry for any shred of you he can get.
He should have knocked. It was rude not to. But he's so, so fucking glad he didn't.
He's a little rough when he opens your door, a little too eager to get into the room and see your pretty grateful smile when he gives you your phone back. But when he gets that door open, sees the sight of you on your back among your sheets, legs spread, head back, eyes fluttered closed, his mind goes fucking blank.
He watches you scramble, watches the mortification flash across your face as you attempt to shut your adorable little pink vibrator off as you shut your legs, depriving him of the prettiest view he's ever seen. Ghost is not a man with a weakness for pretty things, but it seems only natural that you're the exception, you and your pretty wet puffy pussy.
He hardly even knows what happens, his fingers and toes numb and his attention narrowed down to you, only you. Before he knows it, he's sitting on your bed, feeling enormous and ungainly next to you as you stare up at him. He reaches out, his big hands scarred and ugly against your pretty skin when he holds your vibrator, his blood buzzing at the thought that this had been inside you mere moments ago.
He never thought he'd be envious of a piece of fucking plastic, but here he is. A big man, a deadly soldier, reduced to a fool at your bedside. And yet, you don't even seem to notice. You're so good, so sweet, parting your legs when he asks you to and letting him look.
He asks you to finish. It's bold, and stupid, and greedy. He wants to see you come - he already knows it'll be the prettiest thing he's ever seen, that it'll be seared in his mind forever. In this moment, he thinks he'd do anything just to watch your eyes roll back, your face go slack, to hear the pretty little noises he knows you'll make.
It escalates faster than he could have imagined. Such a sweet thing, laying back and showing him how you use your vibrator. And he watches eagerly, his breath catching at the realisation that this is how you play with yourself when you're alone. You're clumsy about it, which is absolutely adorable.
But then you make a confession, and Ghost thinks he might be spiralling. You've never been touched, never been fucked, never come. It feels like an outrage. He thinks of how tense you'd been earlier, shifting beside him in your blue jeans, and he just thinks... what the fuck? Prettiest girl he's ever seen, and you don't even know how to touch your own cunt properly? He wants to show you, more than anything he's ever wanted before. Greedy. You make him so greedy.
"Let me try."
He's between your legs before he even knows how he got there, pulling your stupid little vibrator out so he can replace it with his fingers. And if he thought he was greedy, he soon finds that he's well-matched when it comes to you. You're just as eager, just as hungry. Spreading your legs and whimpering, all those sweet, sweet noises that spill out of your mouth, just like he knew they would.
You have the prettiest cunt he's ever seen. Pretty, slick, swollen, just as hungry as the rest of you. He alternates between his fingers and his mouth and your little dildo, a little drunk on your taste and your soft thighs when they squeeze around his head. He kisses you too, because he can't help himself. Greedy.
He's never been a chatty man, but his cock is so hard now and he knows his mouth is running. He can't help himself. Your salty-sweet slick on his tongue has loosened it; he barely even knows what he's saying, or what he's promising, but by god he's going to live up to it.
Then, your lovely sweet voice, all breathless and pitchy, asking “Can I try yours?”
Not only that, you beg. You plead with him to fuck you, to do it raw, as if he was ever going to say no. As if he'd ever be strong enough to say no. He can hardly handle hearing you beg like that; he feels as though he's going to blow before he even gets his cock inside you.
In his wildest dreams, he never imagined you so needy. You writhe, you're soaked, you make the most heart-stopping little noises deep in your throat when he presses inside. You're so hot and wet and tight that it feels as though you're about to squeeze his cock right off, and he tries so hard to feed it to you slow, to give you time to take him. You're so good, taking him even though you struggle a little. He's not a small man, certainly not an easy man to take inside of you for your very first time, but it's a testament to how slick and eager you are that he slides in with minimal effort.
After that, he loses himself. Hardly even knows what's he's doing, working based on pure instinct, filling and fucking you until he's losing his breath. God, you're beautiful, and he clenches his jaw hard to bite back his orgasm - he has to focus on you, only you while the tears are streaming down your pretty face as you gasp and cry for him.
He can see your orgasm creeping up on you before you recognise it yourself. When it hits you, it's a whole body event. Your back arches, legs spasm, stomach trembles, eyes roll back. Your cunt clenches down so fucking tight that it's a little bit painful. Simon doesn't dare blink - he's never going to fucking forget this. Your very first orgasm, and you're experiencing it on the end of his cock.
He loses it a little after that, his thoughts fizzing and slipping from his grasp as he loses his coordination. By the time he comes inside of you, cock throbbing and skin tightening, he's already decided that he's going to have to make you come again. Once isn't enough, not for someone as hungry as him. Or you.
He thinks he might have fucked you stupid. Your eyelids are fluttering and your lips are parted, but you're a little bit dead to the world. It's cute. He feels his pride swell, smug at the thought that he's fucked you so good that he's sent you reeling off into dreamworld.
He leaves, only for a moment, unable to be away from you for too long. He just wants to get a cloth, something to wipe you off with to make you all clean and fresh again. You're already awake when he comes back, though you're still hazy and clumsy and all teary-eyed.
He's happy to wipe you clean, despite your quiet mewling complaints, and then he hauls himself into your bed just so he can curve his big-ass body around your smaller one, relishing your sweet softness. God, he's wanted to hold you like this forever, but he's still a little nervous about hurting you. Killing and maiming and hurting have been the only things he's been really good at his whole life, and he's irrationally fearful of moving wrong and hurting you, even after the sex. Or maybe especially after the sex.
He can see your brow crease, the uncertainty in your eyes. He realises you're probably a little uncertain about where you stand with him, or what this is. That's fair. Simon has never been the most demonstrative man, but he's also been the type to cling on like a tick to the things he values, the things he wants to keep safe. He holds you, checking his strength, proud to be able to keep you safe in his arms.
He's going to make sure that you don't worry about it either. Your hair smells sweet, your skin is so warm, and your ass is so soft where it's pressed against his crotch. He's reaching for you before he can think about it, and his heart pulses hard when you spread your legs for him so easily. God, he's gonna ruin you. Just like he promised.
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etclouie · 14 days ago
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kinktober day twenty eight - early morning sex
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𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 summary: finding a quiet moment with your husband early one morning (Daryl Dixon x fem!reader)
𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 setting: alexandria before the saviors
𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 warnings: smut (with tiny plot), p in v, creampie, soft!daryl + husband!daryl, reader and daryl have two kids, daryl kinda needs some reassurance towards the end, they both say they love the other, uh i’m pretty sure that’s it?? kinda ended abruptly too ?? lmk if i missed any
𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 word count: 1.3k
𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 a/n: written with this oneshot in mind
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you’d woken up early, before Daryl and definitely before both of your children. 
Daryl was curled into your side, his head on the swell of your breasts and his left arm draped across your stomach as he slept. 
he looked picture perfect. 
hair messy and askew across his face, brown curls draped over his closed eyes. 
lifting your hand and brushing his hair from his face, humming at the sight of the face you fell in love with all of those years ago. 
simply admiring him as he slept, left hand soothing across his back— careful of all the scars that adorn his skin. 
the peaceful nature normally didn’t last long, your daughter always vowing for Daryl’s attention first thing until last. he didn’t mind of course, he loved this chance at being a dad and you loved watching him being a dad. 
but the peace and quiet was a craving you always had when you woke up, even more so with Daryl curled so warmly in your arms. 
as if he could feel your stares even in his sleep, Daryl began to stir. a low tired groan pushing past his lips as he buried his face in against your throat, laughing softly at his groggy state while your hand moved up his back and into his hair once more. 
“morning Dar”
you greeted, keeping your voice soft. he let out a grunt in recognition— his own way of saying good morning. 
scratching your nails softly across his scalp as you continued on, your nails pulling something akin to purrs from his lips. 
“it’s early, kids are still asleep”
innuendo laced your words, and it had his head lifting to meet your gaze. meeting his tired yet hungry eyes while he sat up on his knees between your legs, big hands pulling you closer to him and your head thumping against the pillows while you giggled. 
“good idea then?”
you asked softly, gazing up at him with an equal want. he nodded in response, eyes mapping across your body and focusing longer on the exposed skin that peeked out through your pyjamas. 
“grea’ idea”
he mused, eyes focused on your body while his big hands pawed at your hips. despite his hunger for you his touch was soft, caring— loving. 
his thumbs hooked into the waistband of your shorts, gaze flicking to yours for permission and receiving a nod in return. 
without waiting another minute he was pulling down your shorts, the cotton tossed aside before he moved to repeat his action with your underwear. 
“too many fuckin’ layers”
he complained, finally getting off your underwear and letting his gaze drop lower to your cunt. he groaned at the sight, his hands pushing your thighs further apart and spreading you wider for him. 
his gaze predatory as he watched your cunt drool with arousal, walls fluttering around nothing as warmth pooled in your belly. 
“Daryl, please”
pleading with him until his gaze was on your face again, his head nodding eagerly. his left hand coming up to brace himself on the pillows by your head, while his other hand was pushing down the waistband of his boxers until his cock was springing free. 
you hummed at the sight, his cock throbbing with need against your thigh and the head of him leaking pre-cum. 
“you’re so hard already”
he huffed out a breath of air, his right hand wrapping around himself and giving a couple strokes. your eyes followed his hand as it moved along his cock, the movement rhythmic and hypnotic. 
“‘ad a dream ‘bout you”
he admitted softly, a groan slipping past his lips as he continued to stroke himself. heat flooding his body and his cheeks turning pinky, almost in embarrassment about having a wet dream about you. 
reaching one of your hands between your bodies to wrap around his cock, taking over stroking him and pulling groans from his chest. 
his hips pushed forward as he leaned in to press his lips to yours, his right hand slipping between your bodies again to swipe the tip of his cock through your slick. both of you gasping against the others lips, his hair fallen in your face as he hovered inches from you. 
“need ya sweet’art”
he drawled, his thumb on the top of his cock as he rocked his hips against you. continuing his back and forth motion before nudging himself at your entrance and sliding in in one smooth thrust. 
both of you mewling at the feeling, your walls fluttering desperately around him and trying to accommodate to his intrusion. 
“shit— so fuckin’ tight”
he groaned out, his cock throbbing in your warmth as he bottomed out. his right hand snaked under your t-shirt to palm at your boobs, his thumb padding over your peaked nipples before rolling it between his thumb and pointer finger. 
whining at his touch, your back arching up towards his hand and a chuckled out groan falling from his lips. 
your hands falling to the hem of your t-shirt and helping to remove it, hearing his breath hitch at the sight of your body before he was leaning in to kiss you again— cock still throbbing inside you, aching for any sort of relief. 
“so fucking pretty darlin’,”
he drawled out against your lips, nodding at his words and hooking your arms around his neck to pull him closer and into another kiss. 
the kiss was needier this time, all teeth and tongue. Daryl was pouring every emotion into the kiss all while his hips drawed back, his cock sliding majority of the way out before pushing back into you. 
his pace starting slow, both of his arms on either side of your head. your face inches from his, and his eyes searching yours. 
fingers softly brushing his hair from his face as his hips picked up their pace, his hair jostling back into his eyes with every thrust he gave. 
“mhm love you Dar”
you mewled out after brushing his hair out of his face and behind his ear, blue eyes looking back at you— his pupils blown wide with desire. 
he was leaning in to press his lips to yours again, his hips rutting deeper into you as you parted your lips to allow him to deepen the kiss. his tongue slipping past your lips to tangle with yours, the kiss conveying all the thoughts and feelings he had. 
everything Daryl gave you— sexual or not— made warmth flood your heart, he made you feel loved in every aspect of your life together. and his sheer determination on pleasing you in moments like this showed his want and love. 
his hips continued, the subtle sound of skin slapping against skin filled your room and still quiet house. 
Daryl dropped his head to your shoulder, face tucking in against your throat as heat poured through his body and settled in the pit of his stomach. 
the feeling that shot down his spine was all too familiar, one that made him feel as if he was about to cum too soon.
“close darlin’, shit ‘m sorry”
the words came flowing out, his thrusts stuttering briefly before he continued. his cock hitting that one spot over and over, sending you hurtling closer and closer to your climax. 
“it’s okay, don’t be sorry”
you reassured, his head lifting and his eyes searching yours. nodding in response to his quiet question before he was dipping his head again, tangling your fingers in his hair and scratching your nails across his scalp. 
his groans against your throat and his desperate thrusts showed his impending release, the coil in his belly teetering on snapping. 
“i’ve got you baby, it’s okay”
the words whispered against his ear followed by your cunt fluttering around him was his undoing, he groaned desperately against your throat as the coil snapped. 
his balls drawing up as he spilling himself inside you, his thrusts shaky as he worked himself through his climax. 
subsequently, his undoing was yours as well. 
your cunt spasming around him as the pool of arousal bubbled over in your belly, your climax crashing over you and your release coating his cock. 
fingers tangled in his hair and pulling him up into another kiss, your gaze reassuring as he pulled back to mumble out to you. 
“love you too darlin’”
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⋆˚࿔ reblogs are highly appreciated 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
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dxxdhood · 2 months ago
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Okayyyyyy your sub!Wade Wilson fic literally destroyed me and I need like a million more consider yourself my new dealer
(If reqs are open can I get uhhhhh Wade Wilson where he's needy but has no idea what he wants so reader has to shut his brain off and figure it out for him pls and thanks)
hi anon, i love this idea so much omg! i may have played around with it a bit but i think i still kept the same core idea. i went with fem! reader on this, but if you want a similar request with gn! or male! reader, let me know! pls enjoy!!!
rough night
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pairing: wade wilson x fem!reader
summary: wade needs your love and attention, and luckily, you're always there to help him out.
tags: smut (18+), sub!wade wilson, dom!reader, dirty talk, praise kink, light bondage, grinding, clothed sex, oral (f receiving), exhibitionism, car sex
wc: 2.0k
“Okay, babe, hear me out: the ending to the stage version of Little Shop is leagues better than whatever deus ex machina crap they had to throw into the last two minutes of the movie. Cowardly movie-goer audiences can not handle true stage-level tragedy–”
“Wade!” You shout, nearly swerving the car as you double check the directions. Past midnight on the freeway after a long day, you barely had the concentration to drive in silence– much less in a car with your partner in it. “Can you help me get us home first before we start arguing over musical movies again. Please?”
Wade hums, tapping his scarred hand against the console, “That’s a big ask, I’m not so sure I can, to tell you the truth. You wanna talk about musical movies? Can we talk about how big The Greatest Showman got when the score is nothing but pop songs? Look, I get the lead actor looks like my crazy-hot new best friend, but the 2010s had way better stuff coming out.”
Turning his head so you could see the shit-eating grin plastered on his face, he whistles a note before speaking. “You missed our exit, by the way.”
“What?” You double check the GPS to make sure he’s not lying. Sure enough, he’s right. “Why didn’t you warn me?”
“Oh, you know. Typical Deadpool, just pissing off everyone around him all the time for no reason,” he chimes in again, and something about his tone sets you off. You speed across the next available ramp, and after the few seconds it takes for you to end up on a deserted road, you stop the car.
Taking a deep inhale, you make sure to hit the inside light so he can see you properly, and you grab the arm still fidgeting next to you. “Wade, what’s up with you?”
His eyes go large, and his expression loses all the mischief immediately. Shaking his head a little, he purses his lips. “Nothing. Nothing’s up.”
“Let’s just get home,” he says after an empty moment, almost like he’s booting up again. “You can yell at me the entire way back, okay? I was being a pain in the ass. I’ll take it lying down, promise.”
Seeing him in the dim, yellow lighting, he’s trying to retreat into his hoodie. He’s pulling away from you even as he speaks, and it makes your stomach turn.
“Let’s–” you start, unbuckling your seatbelt before gripping the door handle.  “Let’s just take a second first.”
You catch a wash of confusion on his face, but you exit the car and walk over to his side before he voices his thoughts out loud. Opening his door, you quickly envelope him in a hug before he can try to pull away again.
You swear you heard a whimper, but it was so quiet, you nearly missed it. Almost instantly, Wade buries his head in your neck, and his arms wrap around your middle tight. 
The two of you stay there, alone, with the gentle sound of crickets chirping in the background for what feels like a small eternity. You know it must have only been a few minutes, because shortly, your thighs burn from the angle you’re bending at, so you gently pull away. You decide not to mention the wetness left on your shirt.
“What do you need?” You ask.
He shakes his head again, but faster this time. “I don’t know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t even know why I was trying to piss you off.”
“Today was fine, right? I thought so, but all of sudden everything felt like it was going to shit. In my head, I just started going around in circles, going over all the little ways I kept fucking up, and – I don’t know – it got to me.” Wade brings a palm to his forehead. “It’s just one of those hate-yourself days, I guess.” 
You nod, taking one of his hands in yours as you stand on the dying grass surrounding the road. Rubbing his palm with your thumb, trying to transfer some of your warmth to him, you’re suddenly met with an idea so good, you can keep inside the chuckle. 
“Sorry, sorry!” You choke. “Not laughing at you, I just– I just think it’s funny where my brain goes.”
“What do you mean?” He looks up at you with pupils so big, you just want to go back to squeezing him. 
“Well, we’re all alone out here.”
You can almost see the loading screen in Wade’s mind when he breaks out in a laugh. “No way, I finally found someone worse than me.”
“Would you want to?”
He’s nodding before he can even process, but after a second a frown sets in. “You know I’m always down to clown around, but I’d just be a burden right now. I’m all sad and icky and touchy-feely. I don’t even know what I–”
“You want me to handle it?” you interrupt. “I’ll just do stuff we’ve liked doing in the past. You don’t have to worry about a thing, I’ll make it all good for you.”
Wade turns his head away, and for a terrifying moment, you believe you’ve made him uncomfortable. But a part of him wins whatever fight is going on eternally, and when he faces you again, a blush coats his cheeks.“You’d do that?”
“You think I’m offering ‘cause I like hearing myself talk?”
“You have the sweetest voice I’ve ever heard,” he smiles, and not having learned anything, you bend down again to kiss him. He responds fast, bringing a hand up to cup your cheek as he pulls you in closer. No matter how much of you he gets, he always finds himself needing more.
You push his hood down and you carefully run your hands across his scalp, cradling his head, as you deepen the kiss. Licking inside his mouth, you feel more than hear a rumble build in his chest.
Breaking away, you pull your sweater off before laying it on the ground in front of the passenger seat. Stepping to the side, you give Wade a second to process before you order him.
“Kneel.”
He definitely mumbles a soft “holy shit” as he slips out of the car and drops to his knees. Briefly, you run your hands across his shoulders, kneading at the intersection between his shoulders and neck, feeling the tense muscle there. Typical Wade to cause problems instead of talking about his own. Just how long was he carrying around all of this tension? Maybe when you’re both home later, at what will probably be the crack of dawn, you can run him a warm bath or give him a better massage.
For right now, you slip past him and sit in the car seat above him. Angled so your legs dangle out the car door opening, you place a hand around the back of Wade’s neck and urge him closer.
“You ready?” You whisper. “You want to eat me out, Wade?”
He buries his head into your thigh at your words as he lets out a groan, “Yes, please, oh my god.”
Grabbing both of your legs, he lifts them onto his shoulder and he already starts to move his head closer in between them.
“Hold on,” you grab one of his hands, interlocking your fingers. “Here, help me move one of my legs off your shoulder and against your dick.”
To his credit, he does, even as he shivers at your words. As he scooches around, trying to get comfortable or maybe just hungry for more sensation already, you feel his cock half hard.
“You’ve been wanting this, huh? Wanting me to boss you around a little,” you whisper, inching your head closer to his so you can whisper in his ear. “Wanting to hear dirty things in my voice?”
“Yes!’ he shouts. “Yes, please! Can I eat you out, babe? I’ll be good!”
“”Course you will be,” you smile. “You’re always so good for me.”
With a little maneuvering around your legs, you manage to slip your shorts and underwear off, accidentally tossing them into the darkness.
Wade frowns, his brow creasing, “No, I haven’t been very good lately–”
On command, you grab his chin and tilt it so his gaze rests on yours. There’s no hiding from your words now. “Don’t say that. Stop talking.”
“You don’t feel good?” you smirk. “Then prove to me right now how good you can really be.”
He needs no further encouragement as he buries his face between your thighs, already licking across you, teasing you even now. His pace is quick, desperate, but he’s still careful to avoid where you need him most.
With one hand perched at the top of his head, you scratch the other down his neck as a warning, but all it does is draw a moan from him. You can feel the vibrations through you, and it causes you to grind across his mouth.
Panting heavily, you decide to even the score. You press your calf up against his hard cock, inching it backwards and forwards, bit by bit, and that’s all it takes for Wade to remember his own needs. Wanting  you already, he slowly grinds against your leg, and though it feels harsh through his pants, from past experience as well as the wet groans filling the air, you’re sure Wade enjoys it.
Suddenly, he decides to circle your clit in earnest, and it draws a loud moan from you. You begin to grind yourself against his tongue, still somehow working you with coordinated movements despite how out-of-control he humps your leg.
His whimpers slip out of him, as if he’s been completely fucked dumb just by getting off on your leg. The power is heady, and you move your hands to his, wrapping them around his wrists and bringing them in front of him to settle right in front of his stomach. Once you’re sure you’ve got a secure grasp, you bring one of your hands away to tilt his face up to yours so you can kiss him again.
You taste yourself warm on his lips, and the thought causes even more heat to pool at your core. All too soon, you pull away from him and shove his head back between your thighs. 
“Fuck, Wade, so good. You’re so good for me.”
He’s whimpering right into your core and involuntarily, the hand restraining his wrists clenches. The harshness only turns him on further, and he continues rubbing himself along your leg so quick, you’re sure it must be starting to sting.
“Yeah? You like fucking my leg, Wade? I love seeing you grind on me, sweetheart, you’re so pretty.”
His pace increases, and he starts letting out frequent moans in between the warm breaths he exhales onto you. Your thighs are shaking – his speed for you has never faltered – and you shove his face towards you with the palm against his head.
“I’m gonna come. You wanna be my good boy and come with me, huh?”
At that, he releases a loud groan into your pussy, and you feel yourself coming, dripping onto his already soaked face. At your wetness, his grinding only increases, and after only a few more seconds, Wade finishes, cum seeping from his pants onto your leg. 
The two of you stay silent with only your breaths slowly returning to normal to fill the air. Wade’s eyes are large, gazing at you like you’re all he could ever want, and it’s almost too overwhelming for you to return.
Shakily, he pushes off the ground and makes it to his feet before he stumbles to the side. On instinct, you jump from the seat outside to catch him, your arms wrapped around his waist. You’re still afraid that he’ll fall, but Wade lets out a light giggle.
“If you couldn’t drive us home before, I’ve got no clue how we’re making it back now.”
You lightly slap his arm, “You could be nicer to me after I made you come, bitch.”
He lets out a groan that would sound exaggerated if it came from anyone else, “Shit, call me that next time!”
“Next time I wreck you in the middle of nowhere?” you smirk.
“Just name a time and place.”
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omitea · 2 months ago
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𝐒𝐎𝐀𝐏𝐘 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒 — 𝐆. 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔
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char. g. satoru x fem! reader
tags. mentions of razors, gojo being a silly dad, you both have a son (don’t let him fool you!). i feel so soft :( not rlly proofread. wc. 0.8k.
notes. ahem, lowkey forgot how to write… lol
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you should’ve known something was up the moment you heard hushed mumbles and giggles coming from down the hall. the morning sun shone brightly through the curtains; illuminating the left side of the bed. of course it’s empty, because who else would that muffled voice belong to.
groaning, you rubbed your eyes with the palms of your hands— exhaling a warm breath as you slowly sat up. with a quick glance at your phone, you huffed out a sigh of amusement. how is it even possible to be energetic at 7 in the morning…
you groggily let your feet carry you all the way down the hall. the framed family pictures littering the white wall always managed to shape your lips in a smile no matter how many times you passed by.
you stopped just outside the door of the bathroom, feet shuffling as you heard a loud squeal of joy and an ugly snort following soon after. “ssh! ya gotta be quiet or else mama will hear you.” an image of your little boy looking puzzled flashed before your eyes, only making it hard to suppress the giggle wanting to escape your throat.
with a turn of the doorknob, you creaked the door open. and to be honest, nothing could’ve prepared you for the scene happening in front of you. “satoru!,” you gasped, eyes taking in the absolute mess that was created by none other than your husband… maybe son too, but he’s way too young to understand either way.
with an awkward stumble, he moves a step back from the vanity— still keeping a firm hand placed on your son’s back. “what even happened in here?,” you questioned. it was too damn early for this. satoru gulped, looking at anything but you. “we-,” he started before clearing his throat. “i was teaching him how to shave his face.”
you could only deadpan and look at him like he grew two damn heads overnight. “he’s not even one and a half year old yet, satoru,” you said sternly. the white haired man huffed out a dejected sigh, “i know, okay?,” he motioned with his scarred hands. “he has to be prepared for this either way…”
is he serious? it was cute, you admit… but creating such a mess was not needed.
you looked over at your son and the gummy smile he send your way made your heart swell. if it wasn’t for your form leaning again the door, you definitely would’ve melted into a puddle.
the lower half of his chubby face was covered in bubbles. his ‘beard’ bobbing with each movement of his head as he looked between his bickering parents curiously.
a moment of silence bounced off of the four walls before satoru moved to pick the razor back up. it still had the cover on, you noticed. he started lifting his hand to continue where he left off, but got interrupted as soon as you spoke up. “who made this mess?”
if you glanced at your husband a millisecond sooner, you would’ve seen the way his body froze. unfortunately for him though, the little one who was clueless to all this, lifted a small, chubby finger. not only did he start pointing at his father, but he started babbling too. small, white eyebrows furrowing as he tried to get his point across. “bwah, buh!”
satoru looked absolutely horrified as he felt betrayed by his own son. the one that was supposed to have his back. “you promised you wouldn’t snitch!,” he quickly intervened. “i didn’t expect this from my favorite son…”
with arms crossed, he huffed with a small pout on his glossy, pink lips. “he’s your only son, ‘toru.” a heavy sigh escaped his chest while he moved to clean your son’s face with a wet washcloth. “it still hurts, y’know…” so dramatic. “he literally came out of my balls, only for him to stab me in the back?” he continued with each delicate wipe.
you walked towards the two, careful not to slip on the soapy tiles. a quick peek at your son’s big blue eyes, you tilted your head to look at satoru. “how do you think i feel for carrying this adorable human being for nine months…” you paused. “only for him to look like you?” he noticed the way your eyebrows rose, grinning soon after.
“so, what you’re saying is that i’m adorable?” of course would he say that. “don’t worry, sweet cheeks.” satoru pointed to himself with his thumb. “i can use my awesome skills and pop another one into ya!”
you picked your son up and placed a big fat kiss on his rosy cheek. “your papa is so delusional, he doesn’t know what he’s saying.” that only earned a loud gasp and a whine from the lanky man beside you. “not you too!”
ignoring him, you carried on and headed towards the door before sending him a glare. “make sure you clean up everything. and i mean it, satoru.”
turning around he could only widen his eyes and blink. he could’ve sworn he saw the little gremlin grinning up at him as you retreated.
what a fool. you wouldn’t believe him anyway.
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©𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐀. please refrain from stealing my works !
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zombieplaygrounds · 4 months ago
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Desperately trying to claw my way out of a writer's block </3
fluff with your roommate
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"You look like shit," You mur through a stifled laugh, arms crossed over your chest as you stepped aside, letting Simon in. He was your roommate of about four years, you knew a little and a lot about him - more than most less than others. One thing that hadn't changed since the day you met him was the cluster of bruises and scars he'd newly have every time he came home from a lengthy work trip. Simon grumbled softly, dropping a duffle bag on the floor and ditching his suitcase. "Smell like it too." You laughed quietly at his gruff voice. He was such a brooding man, always grouchy looking with a stern scowl painted on his face. You shut the door behind him and pushed the luggage away with your foot. Your arms crossing. "You hungry?" Your words met with a growling hum in affirmation. You walked toward the kitchen, grabbing a clean rag and and wetting it slightly with warm sink water. Hissing a bit as the water stung you, earning a glance from Simon. Regardless of his confused stare you turned to face him and pressed the dirty rag against his face, wiping away some sweat and dirt. "Mm, they don't let you shower or something?" You giggled at your own words, the big brute stiffening at your touch before slowly grabbing your wrist. "I was rushin'" What was he? A child? You snickered at the thought, a smug look on your face as he let you wipe him clean. His calloused hand brushing your smooth forearm gently. His eyes staring down at you with a dead eyed look. Were his lashes always this long? You tutted your head to the side and smiled, "What's that look for?" "M'hungry." Simon softy grumbled, slowly taking the rag from your hand with his freehand. His lips pressed against your now bare hand, eye lids fluttering shut and your fingers lightly curling in surprise. He couldn't help but smirk just a bit at that reaction - your soft gasp, stumble back against the counter. You hadn't been touched in awhile. "What was that for..?" You softly grumbled, tugging your hand away from his mouth, but he kept it there, gently pressing another kiss to your soft skin. "Just gimme a min.." You hesitated for a moment, your mind feeling a bit confused at the sudden affection, but you slowly eased up, your freehand running your fingers along his arm. Touching the toned muscles that trembled and flexed at your touch. Simon slowly slump to sink into your shoulder, inhaling your scent with a low sigh. He smelt a bit like a cat - oddly enough. Dust, the sun, Earth. The thought of it relaxed you, your face dipping in his own shoulder. Your scent was the opposite of his. Something sweet, maybe a bit fruity, but also carrying the scent of whatever dinner you left warming in the stove for the night. You always whined about how the flavors settled better that way. And he whined that you were crazy. A shared embrace, his fingers digging into your shirt lightly tugging the fabric to watch it cling back to your body, your heart beats filling the empty space in either ones chest. This was nice; something you think to yourself when Simon suddenly pulls away gently patting your head, back to grumbling, "Gonna go for a wash." He walks off, leaving you stunned, perplexed, and lamenting the warmth that hugged your body just moments ago. You smell your shirt where his scent had stuck to - so warm. Your arms wrap around yourself as you leaned against the counter. A singular thought draping across your mind, "What was that?"
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astroboots · 1 year ago
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Stitches and Claws
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Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x female reader
Summary: You find yourself in a compromising position on your knees when you help stitch up Miguel's wounds.
Content: Blowjob, riding cock, overstimulation, fangs and claws. Miguel kind of likes his horniness with a little bit of pain? Just a smidge.
Word Count: 3.3k
Astroboot’s Masterlist | Spiderverse Masterlist
I don’t have a tag list but please follow me on astroboots-writes and turn on notifications to be notified when I post something new!
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"Miguel, can you please just relax?"
"I am relaxed," comes the sharp reply, as he glares down at you. Jaw so tense, you're surprised his molar teeth hasn't cracked under the pressure.
Your hand comes to his knee, as you spread them wider, and you can feel the plane of his thighs tense underneath your palm.
Yeah, the man is anything but relaxed.
Miguel is still in his suit. Skin covered in dark blue and red. The only part of him not covered in the fancy spandex (and if he heard you call it that he'd be livid, cause it's Unstable Molecule fabric, not spandex) is that scowling face of his and a small patch on the inside of his left thigh. An area the size of your hand that's bare, revealing his tanned skin underneath and a nasty looking injury.
You poise the needle in your hand against the gaping wound. You don't even get the chance to make skin contact with the tip before he's hissing at you like some damned feral cat.
"I haven't even touched you yet. This is going to hurt a hell of a lot more if you keep fighting me."
You probably sound more than a little bit irritated, because this position isn't exactly comfortable. The hardwood floor is digging into your knees, and with hindsight you should've taken the cushion he'd offered you before.
God, up close, that wound look really bad. Four inches in length, red and angry. You're not a doctor. You don't know why the hell you agreed to do this. For all you know you're going to get the wound infected or worse.
"Miggy, I don't know about this, don't you think it's better go to a hospital. What if it gets infected? You'll end up with gangrene and then we'll have to amputate it and then what?"
"That's not going to happen. It's a tiny cut."
"Fine, but I'm not a medical professional and I'm probably gonna make it scar to shit."
"So it'll scar. It'll be your permanent mark on me."
"I'm worried I'm going to mess this up".
"No", he says, shaking his head. "I trust you."
Your cheeks warm at the words, barely able to look him in the eyes after he's said it.
Fuck, he'd have to go and pull that card didn't he?
With a big sigh and bigger reluctance, you dip your head down as you pierce the needle through the skin, threading it across. There's a muffled pained noise from above. The leather of your armchair squeaks as he grips it tight.
A sympathetic ache tugs in your chest at his pain and your hand still against his thigh. "Do I need to stop?"
"No, keep going," he bites out through gritted teeth.
From the corner of your eyes, you catch a glimpse of the pointed edges of his corner teeth protruding against his bottom lip. It's hard to keep your hands still when your fingertips tingle at the sight of them.
Jesus, you need to get your head out of the gutter. This is hardly the time. You persevere, dipping back down for a better view, so you can sew up the gaping wound as best as you can, ignoring the warmth of his firm thighs that are caging you in at your sides.
You try to pretend you don't hear the strained noises he's making. (Noises that are much too similar to the ones he makes when he's the one between your thighs). Practically bury your head into his thigh so you can no longer see the way his broad chest heaves or how he bites down hard on his lip when you make another stitch.
"Stop, stop!" he demands.
His hand grips down hard on your shoulder, pressing you backwards, but you ignore it, because the needle is already halfway through his skin, and for a man who is constantly battling supervillains on skyscrapers with jetpacks and regularly crashes into skyscrapers, he can be such a baby sometimes.
"Miguel, stop, I need to--"
"Enough!" He growls, his hand pushes more insistently, determined to pry you off him until your ass lands on the hardwood floor behind you.
"Let me do it myself."
Let him? Let him?! As if you had forced him to make you do this? This asshole. Swear to god! He's the one who came home in this state, plonked his dumptruck ass in your chair and asked you to help him. He's the one who sweet-talked you with his: "I trust you," when you had soundly suggested he go to the hospital.
He's always like this. Running hot then cold. Asking you to help, then pushing you away in the next second. It's a miracle you don't have permanent neck injuries with the metaphorical whiplashes he keeps giving you.
You drag your eyes upwards, the way he's hunched on himself in your chair, covering his thigh. His face is turned to the side away from you.
You don't know why he's being so unhelpful about this.
Stitching up your superhero boyfriend with a $10 Amazon sewing kit isn't your idea of a perfect Saturday night. But now that you've started you need to finish up with the stitches, you can't just leave it as it is.
"I'm sorry that I went too rough. If I hurt you, I can go slower, okay?"
He doesn't answer you, just drags one large hand over his face. It's only then that you notice that his ears and bits of his cheeks are flushed a darker shade of red than the tanned tone of his hand.
"That's not the problem I'm having," he mutters.
"Well then, can you tell me what the problem is?"
No answer.
Leaning forward, you place your hand back on his knee. That finally seems to get his attention and he removes his hand.
"You said you trusted me right? So let me know what's wrong so I can take care of you. Please?"
For all his obstinate stubbornness, Miguel is just as susceptible as you are to that card. He groans dramatically, collapsing back into the chair with a defeated expression on his face.
His legs shift in the chair, spreading outwards. The arm draped across his lap falls away, and the tight fit of his supersuit does absolutely nothing to disguise the shape of his cock, hard and heavy under the clinging fabric.
Oh. oh.
Clearly you’re not the only one being affected by the forced proximity of this situation.
"See the problem?" he says.
You look up and his eyes flicker away sheepishly. If you didn't know better, and if it wasn't for the scowl still plastered on his face, you might've mistaken him for being embarrassed. If you didn't know better, you might've made the mistake of calling him cute.
You ache between your thighs at the sight of him. But even though there's nothing more you'd like than leap into his lap and fill that ache with every inch of him, there's other priorities right now.
Crawling forward, you shoulder your way back between his thighs and settle there.
"Let me finish," you insist. "If you let me finish, then I'll help you with your problem."
It's an uneven bargain to say the last. Because the reward you're offering him, is something you want more than your next breath, and you have to bite back the 'ohthankyousweetjesus' on the tip of your tongue, when he gives you a small nod to seal the deal.
Maybe it's your newfound incentive, but this time as you pinch the needle between your fingers to stitch him up, it's a swift and efficient ordeal. You refuse to allow yourself to get distracted, eyes focused on your goal, even as you hear him groan above or shift underneath you. Not until the last stitch is done.
When you finally let yourself tilt your head back up. His eyes are pinned on your face, and you can see now that the familiar brown shade replaced by a red tinge.
Your tongue is heavy in your mouth, and you try to keep your eyes fixed on his, holding the contact as you lean forward. Anticipation rides heavy on your spine, as your mouth inches forward, until your lip press against the thin fabric of his crotch, and you nuzzle against the rigid shape of him.
The leather of your chair creaks, and there's a rip. From this angle your view is a bit obscured, but you catch sight of his hands, the firm unforgiving grip he has on your poor armchair. The extended sharp talons piercing through the soft leather in his excitement.
All you hear from above, is a breathy, "Fuck", then the thin fabric separating him from your mouth disintegrates, the dark blue fabric making way for his tanned skin underneath.
Then he's right there. Bare and naked for you to touch. His cock jutting upright between his thighs. He's ruddy and flushed, the fat tip of him glistening with precome that wells from the slit that you can practically already taste on the tip of your tongue.
Your mouth salivates as you part your lips to take him.
To call Miguel thick is an understatement. It's a struggle to fit him in your mouth, your jaw strain with the effort as you slide him further down. As deep as you can, until the blunt tip nudges against the back of your throat and you have to swallow around him in a panicked fit to suppress the reflexive gag pushing back in you.
It's always the hardest the first time. Your mind and throat instinctively fighting you, as you try to swallow down the intimidating girth of him.
"Take it slow nena," Miguel rasps from somewhere above. His voice is a slow and melted hum that drips sweet and honeyed in your veins, and that helps.
You take a deep inhale from your nose, taking in the familiar musky scent of him, and feel your throat relax around him, accommodating to his thickness.
Your thighs ache with arousal. Panties wet and slick as you clench down around nothing. Everything is tightly wound inside you. Your stomach heavy with the dizzying heat as the weight of him rests so fucking perfectly on your tongue.
It's all you can take. You shove your fumbling fingers between your thighs, tugging at the edge of your panties until the obscene wetness greets you and drag it up against your clit.
Relief and pleasure surges through your head, filling your veins with the sensation and you rock into the palm of your hand seeking for more of your own touch.
"Are you touching yourself?"
Your fingers still at the question. You're not exactly embarrassed, it's not like you're doing anything wrong, but you feel sheepish all the same at being caught.
You pull off his cock, letting it slide between your lips and when you finally look back up, he's staring down at you with a dark hunger in those otherworldly crimson eyes like he wants to eat you whole.
"Fuck, come up here," he directs, but you ignore him. Tongue lapping at the tip, savouring the heady taste of him as you run the flatness of your tongue down the length of him.
"Nena," he bites off impatiently. "Up!"
He doesn't wait for your reply this time. So fucking impatient this man.
He's already lunging forward, arms circling your torso as he pulls you up and into his lap with an impressive ease. His arm comes to your thighs, rearranging you to his liking in his lap, one large hand gripping his cock as he positions you above.
"Sit on my cock, nena. Ride me."
Your eyes flit to the poorly stitched up wound on his thigh that looks flimsy to say the least.
"Won't that hurt you?"
His head tilts, brow arching with that sardonic expression of his as if he doesn't see what the problem is. "And?"
This is such a bad idea. But you'd be lying to yourself if you said you wanted to stop now. Instead you settle on a compromise to ensure that you can at least limit the potential damage on him.
"You have to stay still for me, or you'll tear the stitches," you warn.
He nods perfunctorily in agreement and you don't think he's even listening to you. No surprise there, Miguel has never been the best at listening to yours (or anyone's) instructions. He'll do what he wants as he sees fit.
But you can't find it in you to stop. Not when you wrap your hand around the base of his cock, and the velvety smoothness of it twitch in your grip. Not when you notch the tip of his cock to your slick entrance and can feel yourself dripping down his length.
The only thing you care about is to have him inside you.
You lower yourself onto him, sliding down, inch by maddening inch, as that thickness stretches you to your limits and white hot pleasure invades every one of your cells until you feel drunk on the sensation.
"That's it," he encourages, with a sharp inhale, hand gripping to the sides of your hips. The honed edge of his talons gripping into your flesh, but never breaking the skin.
Your thighs are shaking as you inch down on him until they are pressed flush to his hips, and his cock is kissing that perfect spot deep inside you that has your vision whiten. Thick and sweet.
As promised, he doesn't move. Even though you can tell from the muscle twitching in his jaw, that there's nothing more he wants than to flip you over and thrust into you hard and deep until you're screaming his name with a force that makes your lungs burn out.
You lift your hips, savoring the sweet drag of his cock against your cunt, slow and unhurried until only the blunt tip of him rests inside you and stay there.
"Nena," Miguel says, and the nickname on his tongue sounds like a warning.
He's not a fan of the slow pace you're giving him apparently.
But you've never been one to heed his warnings. Instead you slide down on him, just as slowly, letting his cock fill you at a leisurely pace and it is fucking heaven.
You still as he bottoms up inside you, before you do it all over again. And again. Then again. To each grumpy groan of his that's mixed with pleasure and impatience. Then you do it again.
It's only a matter of time before his short-spanned patience snap. You can practically see it in the furrowed line of his thick brows, as you raise yourself up on his knees. His sharp canines bites down on his bottom lip, breaking the skin and that is all the warning you get before his arms wraps tight around your ribs, knocking the very breath out of your lungs.
Miguel's arms pushes you down flush on his cock, it's strong and demanding. A stubborn grip until he makes sure you've taken all of him to the root. It's blinding you with the force of it, and all you can do as he buries his face, sharp teeth poised at your shoulders, is whine.
Good, it feels so fucking good. The sweet ache of his cock filling every inch of you. You can't think anymore.
You try to raise yourself again on his cock but you wobble, the muscles in your thighs screaming in protest and gives under, unable to lift yourself back up again.
Fuck, you don't know if you can move anymore.
In a split of a second, Miguel straightens up and pulls you into his chest. "So pretty, nena," he groans into your skin, while he ruts up and into you, fucking his cock deeper.
You should probably scold him. Try to stop him somehow, so that he doesn't rip the tenuous stitches on his wound. But you can't bring yourself to open your mouth. Not when it feels this good. Not when aching pleasure is pulling you down under and robbing you of your breath and every word in your vocabulary.
"You feel so fucking good. Stretched so tight around me. Just so fucking pretty when you take my cock."
The sharp edge of his fangs skirts gently across the soft flesh of your throat, and sets every nerve in you alight. Every part of you tingles. From the tip of your fingers to the curl of your toes. That telltale warmth and heat coiling in your stomach and spreads outwards ratcheting up to a fever pitch.
Your orgasm breaks. It rushes over you, hard and punishing. Your body shakes, thighs tensing and your heart is beating hard and fast into a gallop in your chest. You shake and tremble in his lap as it courses through your veins. Lungs squeezed painfully tight as the sweet bliss of it invades your ribs and you struggle to catch your breath.
You still feel it, rushing and pulsing from your stomach down your thighs, it doesn't even have a moment to properly subside.
Miguel doesn't stop. His hands are already on your waist, lifting you up and almost off his still hard cock and you gasp at the shift in pressure inside you. You're clenching down around the fat tip of him reflexively, and there's no time to adjust, no time to think, next thing you know, he lifts his hips while pushing you down on the length of his cock. All in one swift, and harsh, unforgiving motion.
It's so much, too much. You whimper at the next thrust, the whole of your body wracked in shivers as the sensation overfloods your brain. As good as if it feels, you don't know if you can't take much more.
"Keep going, don't stop. I know it's hard nena. I know you're sensitive." he coos, his hands are gentle on your hips, guiding your movements, but for all his sweet cajoling words, and for all that you're struggling he's not easing up.
"Keep going. Keep squeezing my cock like that and I'll fill you up. I'll fill you up with every drop of me."
He keeps encouraging you, as if you have any other choice but to take his demanding thrusts. As if there is anywhere for you to go with how firmly he's holding you to him.
Fuck you can't, you can't-- oh fuck, you're--
Your arms scramble to grab onto something, anything, fingers digging deep into the firm muscles underneath.
It's chaos.
He thrusts up again. Deep and demanding and your brain shortcircuits.
Sharp electricity surges through your spine and it is blinding. All you can do is hold on to him, to claw on and hold for dear life, or you're pretty sure you're gonna fall off the edge of the earth into oblivion if you lose your grip.
Distantly, you hear him hiss in your ear, feel his hips stutter up against yours, cock pulsing inside of you, but you're too far gone to piece it all together.
All you know is that you're coming again or maybe you never stopped and this is that first orgasm still wreaking havoc on your body. Maybe it'll never stop. The sensation feels like a punch to your gut, consuming and all at once. Your eyes must cross behind your head, because your vision goes dark and blank, wiped clean of thoughts. The room seems to tilt, and crash then disappear. There's no weight to your limbs, and your thighs are so numb, you're not even sure they are there anymore. Your body is not your own.
When you come to, you're still perched on his lap. You feel like wrung out and boneless, body spent and broken. His arms wrapped around your torso the only thing that's keeping you upright.
The arms of your leather chair have been scratched up to hell. Long claw marks brandishing each side.
He looks like an absolute mess. Brown curl a deranged mop on the top of his head, sheen of sweat over his tanned skin. But he looks good, messy. Looks fucking beautiful in a way that has your chest squeeze tight when you gaze at him.
Miraculously, the stitches on his thigh has held up somehow and you feel more than a little ounce of pride of your own sewing skills at the feat.
Your hands slide off of him from where they're still gripping on tight onto him and Miguel's eyes follow the motion to his biceps where your nails have broken through skin. The tiny crescent marks looks red and raw and painful.
"Shit, Miggy I'm sorry."
He blinks up at you, eyes a little bit dazed before he breaks out into a smile. He raises his arm and looks at the mark with a pleased and admiring expression one filled with pride.
"I hope it leaves a scar," he says.
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Dedication & Credits:
For @thirstworldproblemss who had to listen to me figure this one out, I'm still trying to find my voice for Miguel so sorry if this is a bit clunky for you.
Also dedicated to @guruan whose artwork literally inspires me to write/think/breathe smut 24-7 like a 7-eleven store. It's always open for slut business here. This artpiece with the spread thighs definitely inspired this oneshot.
I don’t have a tag list but please follow me on astroboots-writes and turn on notifications to be notified when I post something new!
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lonelystarrs · 1 year ago
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𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚 𝑳𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒀𝒐𝒖
𝐖𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐨𝐥𝐟! 𝐓𝐨𝐣𝐢 𝐅𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
Toji didn’t think he’d ever change for a woman again, turns out he did for a pretty little thing like you, he just wasn’t expecting it in this way —bet you really thought the joke about him being a werewolf was funny now.
Warnings 18+ MDNI seriously. Kinktober + extremely descriptive + monsterfucking + werewolf Toji + knots + breeding + size kinks + dubcon + mirror +
Tbh this was pretty rushed and basic, but let’s be honest only here for the smut when it’s kinktober 😂🫶🏻
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It started over a year ago, all over a simple wound that Toji had from what he assumed was a curse at the time.
The claw marks had ran so deep across his back it exposed bone, the blood loss was life threatening but his ignorance took him towards his home, not towards help.
That’s when you came into the picture, pretty little you.
An off duty nurse who’s happened to be walking home to meet a stumbling Toji bleeding out near the building where he lived. Being ever so loyal to her duty as a nurse you helped. He remembered your eyes, your hair, how warm and soft your hands were and he remembered how you smelt. It stood out from the cold air, the smell of fresh rain and it was weirdly comforting, a clean yet sweet smell.
You’d stopped the bleeding, getting him to hospital for treatment and all you were was a memory, some pretty thing leaning over him slumped in a way that wasn’t dignifying what so ever and especially not how he usually met women.
He healed faster than expected, way faster than anything they’d ever seen before. Within two days he was healed with nothing but a large, clawed scar down his back, from his right shoulder to his left side under his ribs.
He took himself home, a bag of take out in hand as he stood in the elevator taking him up to his floor. The other hand shoved into his pocket staring mindlessly at the ceiling panel.
When it dinged and the doors opened he stepped out, colliding with someone much smaller than him and that someone was you.
Falling back into your ass from colliding with sheer force that was Toji Fushiguro, and in true Toji style he didn’t aid your fall he very much let it happen. Looking down at you and tilting his head, green eyes staring at your incredible legs long and toned leading straight up to those pretty black lace panties you had on under the shorter loose leather skirt that had rode up.
The little lace top you had on left little to the imagination, denim jacket a little ruffled from your fall, and nice black strappy heels on with red bottoms —which he didn’t expect.
Your hair framed you, thick and wavy, all done up for your little night out. Tits pushed up and face with light make up.
It was the second time he’d ever seen you and the first time he made contact with you, lazily reaching out a hand but not bending to you —he only done it because you helped him a few days ago.
You took it letting him pull you up with such force it thrusted you into his chest and he smirked, tilting his head giving you another once over because you really were such a pretty little thing.
“Oh! You’re uh- well you’re looking much better, it was only a few days ago and they’ve released you?”
“I left.”
“You’re moving well, what are you a werewolf?”
“A werewolf?”
Toji snorted a laugh at you and you laughed waving your hand around flippantly from your goofy joke. You thought he was one who those shitty dog looking things in classic old horror films?
“I was joking, y’know? It was a big claw mark and you’re out of hospital in days with a wound that went bone deep…”
“Just a real man doll, I ain’t howling at no moon.”
It turns out you lived in the same complex as him having rich parents but still studying as a nurse, once Toji found out the money he started taking an interest because even in his late thirties he wasn’t going to change.
He thought he wasn’t anyway but you made him feel something rare —and that was feeling a lil bad about taking advantage of you. He knew from past experience with his deceased wife that he maybe had a second chance of redemption, because that’s how he started feeling with her.
Your caring nature was a given, you were a nurse, so when Toji suddenly came down with a full blown fever you’d been there again, your hands feeling colder this time on his hot skin, your voice soothing him and that smell of you was lulling him. He’d pulled you in and buried his nose into you, inhaling like an animal as he started to grope every inch of you desperately, it gave him some relief.
Apparently he was changing in more ways than just seeing you as a source of money and sex, because it turned out that in fact, Toji was howling at full moons nearly four weeks later.
It started with restlessness and a mild fever, nothing too out of the ordinary in your line of work, but it wasn’t normal for Toji —he didn’t get sick. But something was crawling under his skin, his cock throbbing under his joggers and no matter how many times he fucked it into his fist he wasn’t cumming. His hand ran through his sweaty hair, pushing it out his face as he looked down at his far above average cock, an angry red and drooling precum with his hand curled around it.
It was throbbing, rock solid, he could feel the pulsing in it and he was burning from over stimulation, the rage in lack of release was only adding to the feral feeling biting across his skin as he felt his patience all but slipping.
Then his nose caught a whiff of something, something that made his cock flex in his hand and drive an instinct he didn’t know he had. Green eyes scanned the room, landing on a top of his you’d been wearing. When he lifted it to his face he moaned, eyes rolling back into his sockets and the pleasurable pulse sent to his cock was euphoric… that sweet smell of you was opening that door he was banging against.
His hips rolled into his fist, cock sliding into it smearing the overload of precum to make a wet hole to fuck into and his pace was feral, heaving in air between inhaling the scent you’d left over it. His mind too clouded to realise what exactly he was doing but chasing only a feeling.
You didn’t last a second when you returned home after your shift in work, he’d jumped on you and fucked you like you were his life line, a feral, blind pleasure that burned under his skin, only feeling it cool when you pressed against him. Burying his face into your neck and breathing you in like oxygen.
And he felt fucking incredible, fucking you felt unworldly.
Day two he’d been running such a high fever that wasn’t going down, reaching a temperature that was almost inhuman. He’d crashed into a sleep and you’d used the opportunity to shower. The towel was ripped from you as soon as your feet entered the bedroom and you were pressed against the wall, legs thrown over his shoulders as he lifted you.
But it wasn’t Toji.
His coat was so black he blended into the darkness of the room, silver teeth bared and green eyes illuminated like the full moon.
With your back pressed to the wall and werewolf! Toji lifting you on his shoulders as your thighs tightened around his head. Your hands gripping and pulling at his black fur as that long tongue worked its magic, so long it was fucking your dripping hole and rubbing against your clit at the same time. It didn’t take long for spit and cum to run down your ass and legs as he was edging you towards cumming on him again and you bucked wildly against him.
It should be wrong —holy shit this should be wrong.
But those glowing green eyes below you were feral, those jaws so large that you literally fit between them as he ate you out. His clawed hands under your thighs to prevent him from piercing you with those almost silver-white teeth.
You couldn’t breath as your body was driven into over stimulation and he wasn’t letting up on his restless attack with his tongue.
He was growling under you, something rumbling in his chest and you could feel it vibrating on his tongue. When you tried to pull away, tried to lift yourself from him his ears flattened, his lips curled and he bared his teeth with a snarl.
The only reason you calmed were his eyes and you knew it was him, even if you wanted to fight you couldn’t but you just needed a break to breathe. He looked silly in the apartment despite how big it was, Toji was a huge man regardless but this added to the huge form that he was.
“T-Toji I ca-fuck- I can’t anymore you gotta s-stop-“
Your body thrashed with each harsh lick of his tongue, drool dripping down his chin into his coat finding the taste of your cum irresistible, the smell of you was addicting. Toji was an asshole so it wasn’t hard to ignore you begging him to stop as you couldn’t handle it anymore, he was selfish and greedy naturally but when it came to eating you out like this?
Fuck-
The tip of his tongue buried in you felt you clenching again in little pulses as you got closer, he slanted your body to one claw keeping under your thigh, the other resting on his shoulder keeping you spread open against the wall. He reached down grabbing his cock, feeling the knot forming at the base —it felt different, besides the size difference.
He fisted himself and his hips started to move in time with it.
“M’gonna cum- fuck, hah, T-Toji s’good -holy shit-“ you were slurring words that meant nothing, weightless as your vision went white and stars appeared and with perfect timing he lifted from your clit and let his entire length of his tongue fill you roughly, he looked up to see your eyes roll back and your head rolled against the wall.
“Fu-Fucking hell,”
He stroked his dick steadily as you came around his tongue, hips stuttering as your body was slack against him and the wall. Withdrawing his tongue and head he pulled back, the taste of you filling his mouth, mouth watering again at the sweetness you gave.
He literally shrugged your thighs off his shoulders, his hands gripping your ass as you slid down the wall catching you with your legs falling over his thick forearms. He angled you so his hard, upright dick pressed against your entrance, your hands gripping his biceps, lacing under the black coat and your eyes widened as you realised he wasn’t letting you catch your breath.
Regretting looking down to see he wasn’t his body that had just change but the size of his already worthy dick had doubled, pre was drooling from the slit and it was flexing angrily.
“W-wait Toji that’s too big you-“
He pressed the tip to you and pushed, panting as his green eyes watched his cock start to stretch you out and it was tight. Toji bullied his way in, his forming knot pressing against your clit, your jaw slacked and no noise left you. The stretch was painful, but with how he was pressing against your spread open clit was just enough to distract you.
Toji growled when he eyed the bulge in your stomach and he flexed inside you watching it move. Clawed hands planted against the wall behind you, either side of your waist with your legs still over his forearms, the position was awkward being wedged between the wall him like this.
“T-Toji p-please g-go easy, it’s too big I’m-“
His hard thrust back into you cut you off as your breath hitched in your throat, nails digging into his chest and your toes curled. 
“You’ll take it how it comes,”
your eyes widened as you looked up at him with worry, finally hearing him speak, his own voice mixed with something else thrown in. Your body contradicting your worry, his words made you pulse around him and he chuckled, green eyes meeting yours.
Shifting an arm to snake around your waist to hold you in place as he pulled back his cock, watching the slick glistening on it and he slammed back into you, starting a pace that was cruel. Your arms wrapped around his long nose and jaws clamping them together, pulling him into your chest hugging him and pressing your forehead to his.
“Holy shi-hah, it’s too big, it’s too- I’m gonna cum, I’mgonnacum!”
You sounded panicked but all he focused on was the wet plap, plap, plap of his inhuman dick spreading you open cause it was fucking beautiful to watch. Slick and cum coating his knot as it formed a sticky link everytime it touched your clit.
And he lost it.
You only made whimpering and strangled noises as he fucked you hard, every other thrust trying to push his knot in to plug you, failing drew a pissed off snarl from him that made him pull away along with his cock.
He threw you across the room to your bed and you tried to crawl away, his grip on your ankle slid you back down the bed and in his desperation he pinned you to it, rutting clumsily against the back of your thighs and ass trying to find your pussy.
“Stay, brat-“
He snarled into your ear and you groaned into the bed as he snarled in your ear and arched your hips back, a dull ache in your cunt from being stretched so much but pulsing to have it again.
Unhappy with the position he shifted, green eyes catching himself in the huge floor length arch mirror, he gripped the backs of your thighs and pulled you up. Your back to him you reached back to grab him to balance yourself. His cock slapping against your exposed pussy as he walked to the large mirror, spreading you out. He nuzzled his nose into your neck.
“Put it in before I force it-“
You reached down pressing your fingers to the underside of his head, pressing it against yourself as he lifted you until he felt your swollen hole, impaling you on his cock, watching the bulge appear in your stomach again and he let you watch, let you see what he was seeing.
Green eyes flickering from your face to his knot bouncing against you, begging to plug you, he could feel it resisting less in this position and when he’d just had enough he paused and forced you down to take it.
Your pained whimper only spurred him on, his thrusts switching to short but hard, your body bouncing off each thrust as you went crossed eyed, drooling with only noises leaving you as he made you watch him fucking you dumb.
He gave no warning when he came, only some whine that left his throat. His hips jolting up into you as his knot swelled locking him in you.
“S’too much- m’full, no more -Toji I can’t-“
“Cum it out then,”
You were shaking against him, your whole body struggling to keep up with him like this, but it was so hot watching him plug you, fill you up and seeing that bulge in your stomach.
So you reached down, one finger rolling over your buzzing clit and your hips jolted in reaction to how sensitive it was, your nerves burning with each circle and swipe on your clit, watching your hole clenching and pulsing around him.
You came with tears streaming down your cheeks, pushing so hard his softening cock pulled from you followed by the ridiculous amount of cum he’d fucked into you.
He nuzzled into you, gracing his teeth over your neck as you came back from seeing stars, tranced by the sight of the mess he’d made of you, holding you up like you were nothing as his green eyes glowed.
“We ain’t done, doll.”
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©pharix/lonelystarrs 2023 permission is not given to repost, translate or post anywhere else.
Dividers all on my side blog for credits as per 🫶🏻
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gracieheartspedro · 1 year ago
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Beggin' for Thread
part 2 of Trash Talk
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pairing: fem!reader x abby anderson (post outbreak, set before the events of tlou2)
description: being stuck with abby and him-who-should-not-be-named on a mission is already a big problem. especially when you're not on your a-game. abby ends up saving your ass. but hey, it may not all be in vain. shit starts to get a bit better.
word count: 9.2k (HAHAHA I got wild with this one.)
warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, no use of y/n, no real descriptions of reader, nsfw, smut, wlw, some slight bullying, this part has a lot of murder in it (so if you're not good with violence, pls skip out), use of guns, graphic description of dead bodies, ow*n is in a lot of this (sorry), dom!abby, abby giving reader a bed bath, fingering, eating out, use of a strap on, dirty talk, name calling. someone lowkey walking in on sexy time? if I missed anything, please let me know.
author's note: the wait is over! the love on part 1 blows me away. I love you guys so fucking much. you each make my heart so happy. thank you thank you thank you!!
“Hey, Heartless. Glad you could join us today.”
His voice makes your skin crawl. You rub your eyes, trying to clear the haze out of your vision. You’re overly exhausted. After Abby left, you never found sleep. You could not get her out of your mind. She left you disoriented. 
“Hey, Owen,” You mutter, his name tastes disgusting in your mouth. He was gross to look at, let alone talk to. You decide to occupy your mind by checking over the guns you were just dispensed while you sit and wait for the jeep you would be loaded into gets gassed up. 
“Heard you and Abby got into it.”
You heart stops. He can’t know?
You hold your composure, not even flinching at the question. If he did know, you’re just going to deny it and tell him to fuck off. 
“What are you talking about?” You play dumb, not ever looking up to meet Owen’s gaze above you. 
“Manny told me you were going in on her yesterday,” He sounds a bit unnerved when he says it. You stop checking over your gun, finally meeting his eyes. Before you can respond, you cock the gun before flicking the safety on. 
“It’s not my fault she can’t pull her fuckin’ punches. We could’ve easily been picked off one by one since she didn’t want to unload her gun at some Scars.”
You don’t even realize how bitter you sound until it all comes out like word vomit. You weren’t even that angry about that, you knew you could handle it all alone. It was the fact that she left you hanging last night and became cold so quick. 
Owen chuckles, “Take it easy, dude. I’m just wonderin’ why you think it’s okay to talk to her like that.”
He’s sizing you up. Typical of a man like Owen. 
You stand up, knowing damn well it was the wrong day for him to do some shit like this to you. 
You sling your rifle over your shoulder, “I’m not in the mood to answer to some fuck ass like you. And I’m also sure your new nurse girlfriend wouldn’t like to hear that her boyfriend is trying to stick up for his ex.”
“Don’t bring Mel into this,” He begins, his stance shifting, “You don’t get to talk about her.”
“And you don’t get to weasel your way into my business because you’re some entitled idiot who thinks every woman owes you something,” You begin to side step past him, “For all our sake, keep your mouth shut and leave the leading to the girls.”
You don’t listen to the rest of the shit he spouts at you. You walk towards Manny, who’s standing next to another guy, you think his name is Alex. You give him a slight nod of acknowledgment. 
“Hey there, cariño,” Manny says a smile creeping across his face, “Sleep well?”
Your skin crawls.
“Like a baby,” You mumble, your eyes feeling heavy as you respond, “Who are we waiting for?”
“Abby and Leah will be here any minute,” Alex explains as he finishes filling the jeep with fuel, “Think they went to grab some breakfast.”
Hearing Abby’s name next to another girl's name made your throat tighten. You can’t be jealous. She’s not yours.
Just as you’re about to say something about being late to your checkpoint, Manny's eyes avert up to the door leading into the stadium. Abby and Leah appear, both holding a plethora of breakfast burritos. Your stomach had been upset all morning because of anxiety, so the idea of food makes you want to hurl. You observe Abby and Leah hand each foiled wrapped tortilla to everyone, making jokes about being late. 
Abby’s eyes lock onto yours as soon as her head turns in your direction. She blinks before avoiding your gaze for Manny’s.
“Nice for you guys to join us,” Alex jokes as Leah walks towards him with an extended hand, burrito in tow. 
You scoff, “Yeah, we should’ve left 20 minutes ago.”
Abby’s face drops from a soft smile to a deadly glare. She gives Manny a burrito, her hands holding two remaining. 
One was meant for you. 
“Yeah? Well you should’ve gotten a head start by yourself. Cleared the way for everyone.”
Her sharpness filled you with rage. She extends some foil towards you. Before you can even say anything, your instincts are to swat her arm away. The burrito flies out of her hand, splattering across the concrete floor. 
“What the fuck,” She yells, her eyes trained on your deadpan expression. You feel a hand on your shoulder, and you glance back to a stern looking Manny. He doesn’t want a repeat of yesterday. 
You look back at Abby’s furrowed eyebrows, her scrunched face causing sharp pains to go across your chest. 
“I don’t like burritos.”
She shakes her head, “So you launch it out of my fuckin’ hands when someone else could’ve eaten it?!”
You don’t say anything, just turn and begin your climb up onto the jeep. You slip onto the spot you found yourself in yesterday, closest to the passenger side. 
You watch everyone hesitantly get in behind you. 
-
“Are you okay taking the top floors with Owen and Abby? Or do you want to come with me and Leah?”
Manny is adjusting his rifle on his shoulder. You all arrived to the skyscraper you heard Scars were trying to take over to get some higher ground on a popular WLF route. Your goal is to take out every Scar there and prepare it for WLF occupation. 
Manny wanted to make sure you would not act up for Abby and Owen. He didn’t want to deal with the fallout if there was another incident involving you. He really liked you, he didn’t want to see you getting chewed out or possibly killed. You appreciated him looking out for you. 
“That’s fine,” you settle your hands confidently on your gun, “I will be on my best behavior, Manny. Promise.”
“That’s what I like to hear.”
You stay back from the rest of the group as you all walk quietly through the destroyed streets of Seattle. Luckily this area wasn’t consistently flooded, so you didn’t have to wade through any filthy water today. 
Abby walks in front of you next to Leah and Owen. You stare at her backside, trying not to make yourself too obvious. You need to cut it out, you need to focus. 
When you all finally make it to the building, you huddle in with the group to remind each person where they are going. You and Manny hashed it out already so you want to be positive you knew where everyone would be if all hell broke loose. 
Owen cringes when he hears that you’d be joining him and Abby. 
You all split up to your designated places. You let Owen lead not wanting to argue when Scars could be on any corner. He starts towards a staircase, his gun trained forward. You follow him before Abby does, which means she gets to be behind you now. You three head up each staircase, your guns resting on your shoulders. You are as quiet as mice, your footfalls silent. 
Owen stops, turning back to you and Abby. 
“I hear them,” He whispers, pointing up the flight you have yet to go up. You nod, gesturing him to press forward. He continues on. This is when your adrenaline turns to numbness. You forget the emotions you had before you were in this staircase, they are now replaced with pure instinct. 
Owen creeps open the door and that’s when you hear it. 
A whistle from behind you. 
You snap back, your finger and eyes reacting at the same time. A single Scar with their bow trained right on Abby. With one squeeze, they are on the ground bleeding and Abby jumps forward towards your body. She wraps her arms around your waist, her gun aimed towards the door Owen just opened. More whistling. 
“Go!”
You’re not even focused on the fact that Abby has her hands on you, pulling your attention back to the open room of about 10 Scars. Owen is lighting up the room, but firing aimlessly. You hunch down, taking cover behind the door frame. Abby is beside you, tightly gripping onto her gun. You glance over at her. She’s not panicked, she’s not rattled. She’s angry. 
You smirk at her, sickly enjoying her in this state. 
You snap forward, aiming everywhere you see movement. Luckily Owen got the few at the front of the room. One, two, three, drop in their puddles of blood. When more gunfire erupts behind you, instinct is to look back. So when you look back at Abby firing skillfully at the people you missed, you just about fall to your knees. 
When you look back, you realize no more movement stirs the smokey room. 
“Everyone okay?” Owen calls out as you step forward as you wander around each piece of furniture in the room. You want to make sure you’re vigilant. 
“I’m good, are you?”
You step over a man’s body as you spot a foot move behind a desk. 
When you make it over to the body, it’s a girl with her hand over her neck. You aimed at her earlier, you could’ve sworn you aimed higher. 
The fact that your initial thought was how you killed her made your brain snap back. What the fuck are you doing?
She’s trying to speak, but nothing is coming out. Blood is pooling on her chest and hands. You kneel down to her, your demeanor changing from violent murderer to grieving friend. Even with the scars littering her face, she looks just like any other girl you may know. Her mouth is moving but nothing is coming out. You reach out your hand, touching her leg. 
You can feel your stomach flip when you notice a tear slipping from her eye. Guilt riddles your bones, the blood spilling from her by your own hand. 
You swallow thickly before you mutter the words, “I’m so fuckin’ sorry.”
She lets out one final breath. 
You stand, your legs feeling wobbly. You look back at Abby and Owen. He’s not focused on you, but Abby can’t look away from your actions. She gives you a curious look, watching you stumble a bit. 
“What is it?”
You can’t even form words, too taken aback from watching the life slip from that girl’s eyes. It brought you back to when you were a child, watching your sister die. That could’ve been someone’s sister. 
“What the fuck are we even doing?” You ask, trying not to stutter. 
Owen finally looks over at you after stealing a guy’s gun magazine, “What are you talking about?”
You know you’ll get in trouble for saying what you really want to say. You can’t trust either of them. Everything would get back to Isaac. 
So you don’t say anything.
You finish clearing the room, trying to avoid looking at the faces of the deceased. Owen and Abby leave the room while you trail behind them slowly. You’re on edge, trying to shake the emotions and ideas running through your head. It’s the same emotion you felt when that guy tried to force you to butcher a child, probably not even above the age of 10. Their mother stood by, screaming the child’s name, but you were too busy staring into the child’s eyes. 
They are just like us. What are we doing?
Owen kicks open another door, leading you and Abby through what you assumed was an old board room. There was no one there, but as you looked across the water damaged floor, you notice one of the shattered glasses windows. You creep closer, the glass crunching under your boots. You look down to the street, the grass overtaking the main road. You start to imagine what this place probably looked like before the infection. 
Now it’s a wasteland. 
You realize how high up you are when you hear a shaky breath behind you. Abby stands close to you, trying to see what you’re seeing, but instead she starts to panic over the height you were at. You face her, remembering all the times you were forced to take the high ground with her, only for her to have a panic attack and leave you alone. 
She’s practically dry heaving. You push her back, nudging her to get away from the open window. 
“We don’t need you throwing up,” You grumble, your hand on her shoulder, “Stay back.”
She swallows, shaking her head. “Deal.”
Owen scopes out an attached room before you three continue pressing on. You needed to clear every room that wasn’t destroyed by time and vegetation. 
You pander down an empty hallway by yourself, trying to ensure your footsteps are not loud. You grip your gun when you hear a couple voices in a separate stairway. You press yourself against the wall next to the exit, waiting for the voices to get closer. 
“There can’t be that many left. We already got two of them.”
You snap your head the direction Abby and Owen were the last time you saw them. Now it’s only Abby. She stares at you, her eyes glinting with curiosity. You nod towards the door next to you, cocking your gun. 
She knows what that means. She jogs over, trying not to be too loud. 
When she gets to your side, she gets into a defensive stance. The voices are coming down the stairs, you think. 
“Aim up. There’s two.”
She nods right before you kick open the door, exposing the two people on the stairs. They don’t even have time to raise their weapons before Abby riddles them with bullets. 
The sound attracts Owen, who comes stomping down the hallway. 
“There’s more, go down!”
You hold your ground, shaking your head, “We can’t! Isaac said we need to c-”
“Fuck what he said. We are gonna die if we stay!”
Owen is never one to abandon a mission, so you take his word for it. But you know what you heard, if they did kill 2 people, one of them could’ve been Manny. And if they killed Manny, you don’t know what you’d do. Manny is the only other person you can tolerate in the WLF. Besides… you know. 
You have to just hope he’s okay. 
Abby’s eyes widen as she looks down the hall where Owen was just coming from. Whistles erupt and you know what that means. Abby grabs your free hand, practically ripping your arm out of the socket as she takes off down the stairs. 
You’re practically being dragged down the steps, skipping multiple steps at once as Abby never gives up your hand. Owen is close behind, but every so often, he stops to aim up the stairs to spray bullets. He’s trying to slow them down, but he’s also probably attracting more to your location. A door swings open in Abby’s path, and without even thinking for a millisecond, you lift up your gun and shoot directly into the opening. It was just one guy and your aim was spot on. Your mind is solely on protecting the girl who’s incapable of letting go of your hand. 
“Keep moving!”
Another five flights and you’re finally on the ground floor. Abby finally releases your hand, letting you catch your breath for a second as Owen stands his ground and lights up the staircase behind you.
“We need to find the others! Now!” Abby yells over the gunfire.
You stumble forward, checking down the hallway you watched Manny and Leah go down before you three walked up the stairs. You don’t even say anything, you just start running down the corridor. Your throat is tight just thinking of Manny’s lifeless body. 
Two Scars appear behind a corner and you expertly shoot them, running straight pass them without hestitating. You’re in fight or flight mode, your body shaking with fear that you could stumble upon a horrible scene. 
You don’t know when you start doing it, but you start screaming his name. Over and over again. You’re giving away where you are to the enemy, but you did not care.
Before you can finish slaughtering more people, Manny and Leah yell your name from a room at the end of the hall. When you get to the door, you kick it open with all your might, breaking through the door with your foot. 
“¿Qué pasó? Are you alright!?”
You’re panting and on edge, so when you see Manny’s concerned face, you breath a sigh of relief. His voice brings a bit of comfort as well. 
Abby finally makes it to you, her boots halting right behind you, while her hands find the sides of your body. 
“We gotta go! There’s more Scars than we thought. We either go or die!”
You swallow thickly, your body buzzing at the feeling of Abby’s large hands on your hips. She’s not doing it on purpose, it’s almost like she needs to have you close. She needs to protect you just like you protected her.
Manny glances over at Leah, nodding in agreement that they are on the same page. Abby pulls you away from the threshold so they can leave the room they were scoping out. Owen gets to you four, informing everyone where he thinks the Scars could hide and how they would probably make your escape hard. Abby’s hands are still on you. 
You glance back at her, your lips slightly ajar. She looks down at you with hooded lids. 
“We are getting out of here and you’re not leaving my side, got it?” She whispers for your ears only. You just nod. 
You’re just following everyone at this point, keeping your finger trained on the trigger of your gun. Abby follows you closely, not letting you out her eyeline. You run through each corridor, trying to seek out a good exit. When you finally reach the end of a hallway, you peer out the floor to ceiling windows to see if you spot any Scars outside. There’s two rooms beside you that look like they are empty, but there’s no light shining through the thresholds. This is the only way out down this hallway. You were sick of being a sitting duck. When you realize you have no other choices you liked, you shoot out the window. 
The group jumps back at your reaction. 
“What the hell are you doing?!” Owen yells, smacking your shoulder hard. You turn your gun and aim it right at him. Abby’s eyes widen at your action, her arm instantly going up to block the barrel of your gun. She’s pleading with you, her eyes never leaving yours. 
“I’m getting us out of here. Why do you insist on being a prob-”
Before you can get the rest of the word out, you hear footsteps approaching you quickly from the right. All you can remember is the air being taken from your lungs and your body flying sideways, away from Abby’s protective stance. 
-
When you come to, you’re being held up by someone. You blink slowly, but your eyes will not focus on the person whose arms are holding you tight.
“What’s happening?” You manage to mutter. As you say it, you taste blood. Your ears are ringing, but you can still hear the voices around you. They are yelling to run faster! 
“You’re gonna be fine, okay babe?”
You know that voice. 
“You can’t call me that.”
She slows down a bit just to look at you, “Can call you whatever I want.”
Your head hurts. You know you can not fight the exhaustion plaguing your body. You can’t even argue back to her. You shut your eyes again, succumbing to the darkness. 
-
You notice the pounding headache first. Then the very dimly lit hospital room you’re in. Then the presence in the corner of the room. 
“Welcome back,” Her voice is smooth and velvety. You prop yourself a bit, but as soon as you do, it’s like the pressure in your head doubles. You feel like your brain may implode, the pain pulsating against your skull. You try to widen your eyes to focus on her, but your brain cannot muster enough energy to do so. Your vision is just slightly blurred while you train your eyes on her. 
“What happened?” Your voice is weak and your mouth is dry. You try your best to create saliva, but nothing really happens when you smack your chapped lips. 
“You got tackled by a Scar before any of us could see him coming. Asshole was quick. You smacked your head pretty hard on the floor,” She stands up from the chair in the corner, making her way closer to you. She’s not wearing the same shirt as yesterday. She’s in a long sleeve thermal, the light off white is a good color on her. 
You blink slowly, trying to take in the information, “What happened to him?”
“Manny shot him when I was ripping him off you. It attracted a lot more of them. I grabbed you before anyone else could and just took off running.”
You look up at her when she gets to your side. You don’t say anything, just shake your head. You can’t believe Abby, of all people, saved you from possible death. She had your back the whole time, even though you gave her shit. You didn’t even realize the small glances, the quick actions when you were in your own zone. 
All you could think about the whole time is how you were totally off your game and Isaac was going to have your neck for it. 
“And the rest of the group?”
“They were close behind. We made it back to the jeep pretty quickly. I held you in the back until we could get to the hospital. That’s where we are now.”
“Who didn’t make it out?”
Her lips go into a thin line, “Alex and Kerrigan.”
Alex was the guy from earlier this morning with Manny. He seemed nice enough, surely he didn’t deserve to die. Kerrigan was a girl you remember from a couple of meetings with Isaac. She was a smaller girl, quick on her feet and very quiet. You can’t even really remember her face, which makes you feel bad. 
“Shit… I’m sorry we couldn’t get to them.”
“Not your fault. They knew what they were getting into when we had them join patrols. I know Owen’s taking it pretty hard.”
You want to smack her for even bringing up his name. But you don’t. You know she still may have a special place in her heart for him. You just despised him, especially after he confronted you this morning. Prick. 
She’s taking her time explaining things to you. You realize she’s not ever looking away from you when she speaks, something she usually does when you stare at her. She’s watching you carefully, her beautiful eyes soft with empathy.
“Are you okay?” You question, reaching out to her closest hand. She doesn’t pull away when you grab it, bringing it into your side.
She bites her cheek, “Yeah, course I am. Just glad I got you out of there.”
The softness of her whisper brings warmth to your entire body. You didn’t care about your head, or how hot the room was, or how you may have serious repercussions when you got back to the Stadium. 
What mattered is that she’s here. She’s here and she wants to be. You felt relief that she may have come to her senses about what happened between you two. Something had to of changed.
“What changed? Why are you so dead set on helping me now?”
She winces, probably not expecting you to ask such a question. She contemplates for a minute, licking her lips to prepare herself for what she’s about to say. 
“I can’t stop thinking about last night. Made me realize how I really feel about you,” You’re heart races at her words. You’re amazed when she continues, “I think I was scared of having those types of emotions for you. That’s why I couldn’t stay. I didn’t want to lay in your bed and overthink everything when it’s pretty simple.”
You furrow your eyebrows, “What’s simple?”
“The fact that I like you. And I have for awhile.”
It’s like the world stops and it’s just you and Abby. You can tell she’s nervous to say it, but she needed it off her chest like it was suffocating her. She lefts out a long huff, crouching down in a squat. Her unraveling braid falls onto her shoulder and you let your eyes trail it down to her chest. You notice some blood speckled in with her freckles, right near her button nose and cheekbones. 
“Yeah, I like you, too.”
She smiles subtly, trying not to get too excited over the confession. But the truth was that she wanted to jump up and down in elation. She had never had someone confide in her about their feelings for her, so the idea that someone as beautiful as you could like her despite all her baggage, it gave her hope. 
“I want to go home,” You grumble not sure what else to say, your thumb running over the back of her hand, “I wanna go home with you.”
“The doctor here wants to monitor you another day. I have to ship out and get back to explain to Isaac what happe-“
“No, fuck that,” You squeeze her hand, “You’re staying here with me and bringing me back to the Stadium. I’m not going back with anyone else.”
She notes the serious nature of your tone. She looks up at you with those eyes. Abby Anderson could very well be the death of you. 
“I can’t refuse orders, babe,” She states, her eyes falling to your joined hands.
“Bullshit, Abby. If you tell Isaac I want you as my transport, he will let you stay. I don’t want to be with anyone else.”
You’re practically panicking thinking about Abby leaving without you. With the way you feel now, you don’t want to be out without her. She felt like the safest person to have around. You can’t trust anyone else. 
You start to finally bring wetness back to your mouth, “Tell him that you need to be with me.”
“You know damn well everyone will be suspicious. I need to go back. You need to stay here. Nora will take you back, you’ll be s-“
“Get me out of this fuckin’ bed right now. I’m going with you.”
You stay to move but your body feels like jello. As soon as you try to plant your feet on the ground, Abby is reaching over your legs and placing them back on the gurney. 
“Babe,” She pleads, “Just… fuck. Okay fine, I’ll stay. I’ll stay. We can both answer to Isaac when we get back, I guess.”
Relief rushes over your body. 
“He’s going to have a lot to say to me, that’s for sure. I failed two missions in a row that usually are a piece of cake,” You put your free hand over your forehead. You’re sweating so bad. You glance over at Abby who’s reaching over to one of the tables by your bed for a rag, “I’m not a submissive girl to him like I am to you.”
She smirks up at you. She can’t believe you admitted to being a submissive to her. 
“Yeah, you are, aren’t you?”
If your body didn’t feel like shit, you know you’d be grabbing Abby by her collar and hauling her up on the bed to kiss you. She made your face go hot, her piercing eyes raking down your body. You almost felt embarrassed being so vulnerable in front of her. 
“Stop looking at me like that,” You warn, adjusting your butt on the hard bed. 
“Like what?”
You rake your mind for a response. You settle for repeating something she said to you yesterday. 
“Shut that stupid smart mouth up for a minute,” You try to mock her but you sound nothing like her. She laughs at your half assed imitation. She pats your head with the cold rag, getting all the sweat off your forehead.
“Get some sleep, you weirdo.”
-
“How ya doin’, princess?”
You shake your head at the nickname, smacking her arm with your left hand. You’re still weak and tired, but you felt a lot better with some extra rest. Abby loaded you up in a jeep as soon as you could hobble outside, and now you are heading back to the stadium. You couldn’t wait to get in your bed and sleep for three days straight. 
“‘M good, thanks.”
Her smile is the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen. You didn’t know what this meant for you two, but you were excited to see how things would change over time for you two. Maybe you’d be put on less patrols together, but you could spend your free days and nights with her. After all this time, you could have her. 
She taps her fingers on the steering wheel, “Can I ask you something?”
“Depends.”
She slows down the car to glance over at you, “What did you mean when you asked what the hell we were doing? Yesterday when that Scar was trying to reach out to you as she was dying?”
Your heart sinks. Your mind instantly goes to betrayal. Abby is only acting like this towards you because she wants information. She wants to rat you out.
You go from thinking about your deep desire for Abby to thinking about how to protect yourself, she’s going to ruin your life. You’re instantly spiraling. 
“I don’t know what you’re asking me. Are you insinuating something?”
You watch as panic spread across her face. She realizes how bad she sounds asking such a question. 
“No, no,” She’s starting to stutter and use her hands as she speaks, “That’s not what I meant by it.”
“Then what did you mean?”
“I’m just wondering if you feel the same guilt I feel sometimes! You know, like when you kill a someone and watch the life leave their eyes, I don’t know. Jesus.”
You breathe a sigh of relief. She wasn’t trying to double cross you, just emphasize with you. You really can not trust yourself to think the worst of everyone. Maybe because it felt like everything with Abby was too good to be true. 
You wet your lips, “Yeah, that’s what I meant. I don’t like to… I never enjoy killing people. I never have.”
She can’t help but laugh a bit. “Well you’re really fuckin’ good at it.”
“Top Scar killer in all the WLF,” You wince when you say it. She doesn’t say anything just shakes her head, speeding up the jeep down an old abandoned alleyway. You weren’t too far from the entrance to the Stadium. 
She clears her throat, “There’s only one person I’d really enjoy killing.”
Abby has never shared a lot about her past. You knew she and the Salt Lake crew were former Fireflies. You knew that she lost her dad not too long before she got to Seattle. But that’s all the information you managed to get out of her when you two were close before. She didn’t want to talk about herself, she’d rather hear about your tortured past. 
“Who?”
“Joel Miller,” Silence takes over the cabin of the car. You have no idea who that is or why she cared to kill him. Before you can ask, she speaks up again, “The man who killed my father.”
You understand what it feels like to want revenge. But you also know what it’s like to finally get it. Most of the time you still feel bad. Nothing brings back the dead, not even the satifaction of watching their killer’s take their last breaths. You brutualized the man who killed your sister, and it never made her death any easier. But you knew that yearning was different for everyone. Maybe it would make Abby feel better. 
You decide it’s best to just nod, acknowledging her desire. 
The rest of the ride is pretty quiet, just the sound of crackling of rocks under the SUV’s tires. When you get to the entrance of the Stadium, Abby waves and calls out to the gatekeeper. He opens the tall wired fence and lets you two pass through. As soon as Abby parks, it’s like a swarm of people surround you two. Abby gestures you to wait so she can get your door. You laugh thinking about that stupid saying some old people say. 
Maybe chivalry isn’t dead. 
She swings open the door, pushing aside some random guy who’s staring you down. You grab Abby’s shoulder as you ease yourself onto the concrete. You were still a bit unsteady when you walked. It was a mixture of the weakness but also Nora told you that the concussion you have is probably causing balance issues. You took her word for it. 
“Top Scar killer not looking so well, now,” The guy mutters from behind Abby, “Who knows, maybe one of us can be Isaac’s favorite ass kisser!”
You don’t even know the guy and the vibe he’s giving off is making you nervous. He’s about 5’8” and stocky. Abby could take him herself, but you don’t feel the need for her to fight for your honor after everything that you two have been through in the last two days. Abby huffs out in annoyance, ensuring you’re able to stand properly. You start to walk towards the ramp that leads up to the Stadium’s main corridors. The guy is still muttering shit as Abby unloads your backpack and hers. 
“What are you friends with her now, Abby?”
“Can you fuck off? Does it look like either of us are in the mood?” She spits, slinging your backpack over her shoulder. You stand and wait at the base of the ramp for her to catch up. The guy just follows her closely, interrogating her about the mission that failed. Abby just ignores him, her eyes locked on yours. Before she makes it to you, the guy asks one final question. 
“What do you have a crush on her or something?”
Abby drops her backpack on the ground, and within seconds, she has the guy pinned to a truck parked near the ramp. His body makes a loud thwack when he hits the metal. Her back muscles flex as she tightens her grip. As hot as it is, you don’t feel like watching her beat someone bloody for something so dumb. You weren’t feeling your fiesty self, you just wanted to be in bed. 
“Did anyone ever fuckin’ teach you manners or are you just that fuckin’ dense?” She has her teeth clenched. As you get close, you see that she’s ripping his t-shirt. Your moving slowly, but as soon as violent words are being exchanged, you firmly grab Abby’s arm. She peels her eyes away from the guy, her face still scrunched in frustration. 
“Just let him talk his shit, Abs. He’s just jealous because he can’t get any pussy.”
You don’t even know why you included the last part, but it only aggravates the guy more. You aren’t very good at deescalation. You usually instigate things, it’s your specialty. 
Luckily, the master of settling fights comes running down the ramp. Manny. 
“Hey, you guys just got home and you’re already stirring up trouble?” 
Abby still has the guy pinned, his eyes trained on your fragile frame. 
Manny grabs Abby’s arms and pries her off the guy, his body blocking you away from the guy as well. He starts speaking Spanish under his breath, probably venting his frustrations about Abby and you not giving him a moment of peace. 
He talks down the guy, guiding him away from you and Abby. You bend over to grab her bag and shakingly hand it back to her. She watches carefully as Manny escorts the guy further down the parking lot. With her free arm, she wraps it protectively around you. You get chills up your arms and back as you two walk into the Stadium. You’re surprised she’s showing any inkling of liking you to other people, especially her peers. You know there were probably about 10 other people in the parking lot, and they for sure saw her sticking up for you. 
She drops her arm as soon as you make it to the main hallways. People glare over at you as you drudge yourself down the halls, finally making it to a staircase that would put you right in front of your room. Abby lets you start up the stairs first while she stands behind you, keeping her eyes wide in case you fall backwards. You’re relieved as you reach the last step and spot your door waiting for you. 
Abby runs ahead of you, grabbing the door and wiggling the knob.
“It’s locked.”
She rolls her eyes, “I know that now. Where’s your key?”
You turn your jaw upward and gesture towards the necklace. “Here.”
Instead of making you unravel it, she lifts her hands up to your chest. Her fingers travel down from your neck to your collarbones. She’s teasing you and it’s working. 
She grabs the key and toys with it for a minute, trying to release the clasp. Once she figures it out, she holds the key up like a grand prize. 
“You’re so stupid, please let me in my room.” 
She giggles as she sticks the key into the latch and turns it, “Patience, princess.”
Once the door clicks, she opens it for you. The cold air of your room rushes out and cools your sweaty and dirty skin. You get a sense of solace when you walk in, your body feeling a bit reenergized at the sight. 
Abby walks close to you, shutting the door behind her. She shimmies off your bag, dropping her own near the door. 
“You mind if I stay for a bit?”
Butterflies creep into the pit of your stomach. You turn to face her, spotting a somewhat hesitant girl picking at her cuticles. 
“I was hoping you would. Maybe you could give me a bed bath, just like my nurse did.”
She nods, a smirk plastered across her freckled face. 
“If you need me to, I can for sure do that,” She starts to walk over to your sink, searching for some sort of bowl or towel, “I could probably do a better job.”
You stumble over to the side of your bed, kicking off your boots with a grunt. You know exactly where this is going, and even with your weakened body, you want her so bad. 
She continues to search around, finding a large bowl and a couple of your wash rags. She fills the bowl with the warmest water as you peel off some of your clothes, leaving you in just your underwear and tank top. 
“A better job, huh?”
She finds a bar of soap near your shampoo bottles. She sniffs it before she bounds over to you. 
“Yeah,” She places the bowl on your side table, dropping a rag inside it to soak it, “I think I know your body a little bit better than Nora. Especially after the other night.”
She can’t talk to you like this, especially now that you’re in your underwear. You scoot over on the bed to allow her to sit as she rings out the blue rag. She lathers a bit of soap on it before she starts with your arms. 
She grabs your wrist delicately, lifting it so she can clean the dust and dirt off. You watch her so intently, watching her wipe you down. When she finishes one arm, she does the other. She takes her time, tilting it back and forth to ensure she got every side. 
“You want me to do your legs next?”
You smile as she soaks the towel again and ring it out. “You can do whatever you want, Abs.”
She raises her eyebrows as she creeps further down the bed. She kicks off her shoes, settling herself between your slightly spread legs. 
“This bringing you back?” You question, slightly adjusting yourself so your legs get closer to her sides. She shakes her head sheepishly, grabbing your right ankle. 
“Hmm, maybe,” She traces your legs with the rag, using her other colder hand to rub in the wet areas, “If you weren’t so weak, I’d treat you just as well as the other night.”
Even in your broken state, you can’t help yourself. “Easier to control me when I’m like this.”
She chuckles, shaking her head, “That’s taking advantage of you, and that’s not my style.”
I guess now that she confessed her feelings for you, you had to deal with a softer Abby. One that wouldn’t take control of you in the public showers. You watch as she softly runs the lavender scented towel up and down your bruised and battered legs. She is focused, not looking at you, but her eyes trailing up and down from your thighs to your ankles. 
You sit up further, leaning forward and raising your fingers down to her chin. You tilt her focus to your gaze.
“What if I want you to? Ya’ know, give you my consent?”
Her eyes darken as she settles back a bit, making your hand fall from her face. She tenses up her shoulders before rolling them back, easing herself into the idea of getting between your legs again. You smile watching her do the mental gymnastics. 
Her hand settles back onto your thigh, “You’re so desperate.”
You know you got her. 
Without saying another word, her hand travels up to your underwear. She softly places her hand over your mound, her thumb tracing your clothed slit. You lay back as wetness pools in the spot she’s touching, your body heating up naturally. 
Before she goes any further, she pulls away and plops the rag into the warm water on your side table. 
She leans forward towards you, repositioning her entire body by propping herself on her elbows right in front of your core. It was hot watching the girl you were obsessed with settling herself, still fully clothed, before your heat. You could cum at the sight alone. 
She rubs small circles right where your eager clit was through your panties. Before you can even moan out for her, she slips past the fabric and dips her pointer finger into your core. As soon as she does that, it feels like the coil may snap. You didn’t even realize how horny she has you. Maybe it was the anticipation or maybe it was the fact that this time you knew her true feelings for you. Hate sex was hot, but sex when you know she’s plagued with thoughts of you when you’re not even around, that was even better.
You don’t expect her next move. Instead of sliding your panties off, she uses minimal strength to just rip them in half.
As soon as you’re fully exposed for her, she turns into an animal. She mewls at your glistening slit. 
“All for me?” She questions before leaning in to pepper kisses all along the wet trail. You can’t help but whimper desperately at the action. 
“Yes, Abs. All for you.”
She flattens her tongue, moving further into you. Her actions are painfully slow, taking her time to drink you up. You instinctively try to close your legs together when she starts to move faster, being overwhelmed by her maneuvers. As soon as you try to move, she’s using her strong arms to hold you down. Your legs are practically pinned to the bed, her right hand still sticky from your center. 
She shakes her head back and forth, creating a whole new feeling in your stomach. You don’t even think about how loud you’re being for her, not caring if the older guy next to you hears how loud you’re getting for Abby fucking Anderson.  
For not being with women often, Abby knew exactly how to treat your pussy. She decides to change it up and add her fingers back into the equation. Once her index and middle finger enter you, you know that familiar feeling heating up your stomach. 
“Abby, fuck, don’t stop.”
And she doesn’t. Instead she quickens her mistrations, her lips enveloping your clit and her fingers fucking you faster. You reach down, grabbing her braid and the crown of her head and push her further into you as your orgasm crashes down. She drinks you down, taking everything you gave her. 
She pulls away from you, her face wet with your slick. 
“Such a good girl for me,” She continues to play with you, her fingers remaining in your heat, “Do you need me to stop? Or do you want me to give it to you like I did before?”
You smirk as you glance towards the toy that you tucked back into your side table. 
“It’s in there,” You croak out, “Need you to.”
She reaches over you, her body pressed against your stomach as she opens the top drawer and grabs the strap. Your stomach is reeling in anticipation, ready to watch Abby on top you. 
When she gets it out, she rolls off the bed completely. You watch as she strips off her shirt, leaving her bra on. You still are in disbelief of her body, her muscles highlighted perfectly by the glisten of sweat. She keeps her underwear on but you crave to see how wet she is. 
“Take the underwear off,” You say, reaching out to touch her toned stomach, “Wanna see all of you.”
She puts the strap on, ignoring your request.
“I’m not taking any demands from you right now, sweetheart. You take what I give you.”
You loved seeing her be dominant. Seeing the appendage hang from her center makes you throb. She gets back on top of you, caging your body in with her strong arms. She nudges your nose with hers, teasing you by keeping her lips inches away from yours.
“Need you, Abs.”
She captures your lips as soon as the words leave your mouth. Her lips aren’t the only thing moving into you, her hips grind into your open core. The plastic cock does not enter you, but the mixture of her kissing you and grinding is enough to send you into maddening moans.
Her swollen lips pull away, her eyes dark as she lines herself up with your opening. She drags the cock up and down, gathering your slick before easing it inside. You see stars as it stretches you, your voice hearse and gutteral. Abby eats it up. She zeros in on watch it ease out of you and split you wide open. You’re so wet, the squelching sends her to another dimension. She settles into a pace that was agnoizingly slow, taking her time with your body. She reaches behind your legs and bends them so they wrap around her waist. The new angle allows her to hit you in all the right places. 
Your orgasm is building with each stroke. She’s smiling while your mouth is set in an “o” shape, loving the reactions she was getting out of you.
“Jesus, taking me so fuckin’ well, baby,” She mewls, her hands caressing up your sides to grab onto a very important part of your body that she hardly played with this time around. You’re not wearing a bra under your tank top, so when her hands make it under the white fabric, her fingers pinch at your nipples. “You love when I fuck you like this don’t you?”
“Yes, Abby, please. I need to cum.”
She leans forward, bringing her greedy lips to yours. Since your lips are already open, her tongue enters your mouth. You suck at it, trying to get her to pay attention to your pleas. She retracts back, fucking into you harder. 
“Cum for me, then, you little slut.”
The words send you overboard. You’re falling, crashing. The waves of pleasure take over every achy muscle, your body jerking forward into Abby’s sweaty upper body. She wraps her arms around you, fucking into you still as you fall apart. You don’t know the words you’re saying, you’re just loudly whispering into her ear. 
Once your vision clears up, you look to the side to check your position out in the mirror ontop of your dresser. You looked like a fucked out mess, but Abby is the most beautiful thing you ever did see. 
You’re trying to catch your breath, your body feeling even weaker than before. Fucking someone when you had a concussion was probably not the best idea, but god damn did every part of you feel like it was buzzing. Abby stands up, her legs wobbly from being on her knees so long.
“Do you want me to make you cum?”
She smiles at your question, but she shakes her head. She yanks down the strap, opening the side drawer and tossing it in. 
“No, I just wanted to treat you. You can repay the favor when you’re feeling better.”
You start to laugh, throwing yourself back into your pillows. As soon as Abby starts to crawl back into bed, there’s a loud knock at your door. You’re both half naked, so the scramble for clothes is instanteous. You grab the first pair of pants you see and as you’re yanking them up your legs, you realize they are Abby’s. 
“Coming in!”
It’s Isaac’s voice. Your stomach drops as the knob turns and you and Abby stand completely still in your spots. Her pants don’t fit you well at all, so hold them over your private area to block any eyes from it. 
He doesn’t even make eye contact with you, he instantly meets Abby’s panicked gaze.
“What the hell?” He turns to you and immediately turns his back, “Well I see that you’re feeling better.”
Your blood ran cold. 
“Yeah, can you uh, give us a minute?”
He doesn’t say anything, just opens the door and slams it behind him. You’re appalled that he even opened the door without confirmation of that being okay. Your eyes snap over to Abby, who’s look of fear turns into rage. You yank off her pants and toss them to her.
“We’re fucked,” She mumbles, putting her clothes on. You search a nearby dresser drawer for some sweatpants and pull down your ragged tank top. You look back at Abby to check to make sure she’s clothed before you head back to the door and let Isaac in. 
You nod at her before grabbing the handle and pulling the door open. When you meet his gaze, he doesn’t look impressed. You are shocked to see another figure beside him. Manny.
“Hey there,” Manny greets, his eyes showing a bit of hesitance. “We good to come in now?”
You don’t say anything, just open the door wider for them to step through the threshold. Abby stands by your desk, her arms crossed. She tries to keep an emotionless expression, but you can tell she’s pissed. And maybe a bit nervous. 
“Just checking in to see how you are,” Isaac says, his pacing leading him to one of the chairs in the corner of your room. You bite the inside of your cheek.
“Just a concussion. Some bruises. Should be good to get back on after some of the nurses here clear me.”
You try to sound confident but you’re still somewhat dazed from the sex you just had. You lean against the beam in the center of your room, trying your best not to look over to see what Abby is doing. You could still feel your cum dripping down your leg. 
“Yeah I don’t think you’ll be getting back on any time soon,” Isaac says, his demeanor changing towards you, “I still don’t trust you. And now you’re sleeping with Abby? You think I don’t see what you’re trying to do?”
Your heart sinks, “What the hell are you talking about?”
Manny clears his throat, “Owen told us you were questioning the mission. That you weren’t pulling your punches. Letting some Scars live.”
“Well, he’s a fuckin’ liar!” Your voice is cracking, unsure of how to defend yourself. You were pissed at Owen and you knew that emotion would turn into vengeance. They can’t ostracize you for something like that. They can’t kill you for being empathetic. Can they?
“She never said that,” Abby finally speaks up, “I was there. Owen has it wrong.”
“Abby…” Isaac says in a warning tone, “You better not be lying for her.”
Abby scoffs, “When have I ever lied to you? Never. I am not lying for her. Owen was the one who refused your orders and got us all to leave. He said we go or we die. You shouldn’t be reprimanding her. She told him we had a job to do.”
Isaac halts in his rebuttal, thinking of what his next move should be. 
Manny crosses his arms. You’re so pissed, you want to slap him. How dare he go against you and be here to watch Isaac try to accuse you of something like this? What did you ever do to him?
“Is this true?” Isaac questions, standing up to get closer to your slightly hunched over frame. 
You don’t even hesitate, knowing this was all going to fall back on Owen. You wanted to see how that ended for him. 
“Yes. I knew I could not let you down another time. I would never risk something like that. I’m loyal to you and this cause. I am sorry if I let you down again. I wanted to finish the job, I really did.”
You were an outstanding liar. And now you know, Abby was, too. She also had your back. Which made you like her even more. 
Isaac tries to sense any deception but there’s nothing written on either of your faces to indicate that. 
 “Report back to me in two days,” He says to you with a very stern voice, “and Anderson, I’ll see you tomorrow morning. You’re first patrol out.”
When he’s satisfied with his interrogation, he turns to Manny.
“Well, I guess you were right about one thing.”
Manny furrows his eyebrows at the slightly shorter man, unsure what he’s talking about. “Sir?”
“They are fucking each other, but they aren’t liars,” He turns back to you and Abby, giving you two a kurt nod. 
You cross your arms, watching Isaac leave the room and bump into Manny as he does. You don’t even want to deal with him right now, so you wave him out, not saying anything to him. You would deal with him later. Right now, you need a back rub and sleep. And that’s exactly what you intended to get when that door slammed on Manny’s ass on his way out. 
973 notes · View notes
stevebabey · 2 years ago
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The drip in the roof of the trailer is what wakes Steve.
A steady plink! of water meeting wood somewhere above them. It always leaks a little in the trailer after it rains, like a gentle metronome of fat raindrops sneaking inside the cracks. While it used to annoy him, Steve just finds it soothing now.
The curtains Eddie had poorly shut the night before are askew just an inch, letting through a sliver of sunlight. A beam sneaks through, makes the room glow, walls painted golden. Steve revels in it and it’s warmth; lets out a yawn and stretches like a big cat, giving a soft groan as he does.
His elbow knocks into Eddie’s side as he does and Steve feels the familiar rush in his chest, fond affection filling every vein— and he loves it.
He loves that momentarily forgetfulness born from his sleepiness, where he forgets that he gets to wake up with someone by his side. Wake up next to Eddie, no less.
Steve loves it, adores it, because really what it means is he gets to remember it every morning.
He gets to roll closer and poke Eddie gently on the cheek, a small smidge of him just wanting to check if he’s real. If this, this love, is real and his. Eddie lets out a groggy groan, buries his face further in the pillow. Steve grins. Yep, he’s real.
Eddie makes another groggy noise and this time pulls his face out of his pillow slowly. He looks like a disgruntled cat, hair still stuck to his cheek, some small patch of drool left on the pillow. Eddie makes a soft ‘hmph!’ and one hand reaches up, wiping across his face lazily. His eyes peek open.
And as much as Steve loves his own secret moment in the morning, it’s blown out of the water by this every time — the moment Eddie sees him. Brown eyes see him and Eddie just softens. Like butter in the sun. Sinks further into his pillow and smiles, sleepy and wonderful.
Normally, they both let sleep comes and go, drifting across the sheets in half-hearted cuddles that Steve melts for every time. Today, Eddie’s smile grows into a happy grin. Then his hands are stretching out and he’s making small grabby hands across the sheets, urging his boyfriend over.
“C’mere,” he says, hands finding Steve’s side and pulling him, soft. “Gimme.”
Steve grins, heart flip-flopping. Goes without any resistance, shifting to snuggle up to Eddie, tucking up and under his chin as Eddie’s does his best to scoop him up in his arms. It’s warm. Eddie’s pulse is a small comfort to Steve as he rests his head upon Eddie’s chest, hands curled around his middle, thumbing at soft scar tissue. Thump-thump-thump, Eddie’s heart says, and Steve can somehow easily read the love in it; his stomach turns again, in a dizzy elated way.
“Mm, birthday boy,” Eddie hums, but he’s still so sleepy that birthday sounds more like birfday. Steve feels his heart jump in surprise — a moment in which he’s baffled Eddie knows. That Eddie remembers. The last couple birthdays… well, he hadn’t been friends with Robin til after his birthday in ‘85 and then, well, with everything in ‘86… It’s been awhile since someone has remembered is all.
He doesn’t mean to sound as surprised he does when he murmurs, “You remembered?”
Eddie hums again, a sweet loving noise. His arms around Steve tighten and Steve feels his heart keen when his lips brush across Steve’s temple. A gentle kiss is pressed there. It feels like everything he needs — this quiet small moment of wonder, a tiny moment of tenderness, just for Steve. He presses his own kiss back, lips against Eddie’s collarbone.
“S’look,” Eddie continues, dragging his arm off Steve to point somewhere on the wall. Steve follows his gaze and then— there it is, on Eddie’s calendar. Circled in red is April 29th. It’s covered in sloppy hearts, so much there’s no room for any word other than ‘Steve!!’ in the middle; his birthday. Marked so Eddie would remember, wouldn’t even dare the chance to forget it.
Eddie drops his arm, returning it to where it was, hooked over Steve’s side so his hand can run soothing soft touches down his back. He sighs again, another sleepy noise, and Steve could probably cry.
“Precious birthday boy, mm,” Eddie mumbles lovingly. “Lovely precious birthday boy,” he warbles on, voice gooey enough that Steve know he means it. Actually thinks that— that he’s precious, and lovely, and everything more. “What d’ya wanna do t’day?”
Steve tightens his cuddle and whispers, “Just this.”
He can feel Eddie’s grin, in response, and then there’s another kiss to his head. Just this. It’s the complete truth.
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dkfile · 1 year ago
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gold rush
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❛ everybody wants you, everybody wonders what it would be like to love you. ❜ ━gold rush, taylor swift
word count | 19.2k (19,220) genre | fluff, angst, slowburn, exes to lovers, summer au ━ gn!reader
though there is no denying that kim mingyu was once a big part of your life, you believe that the pain he’s left you with is long gone; he is a memory, and that is all he will ever be. but then you get home, and he’s there, and maybe you have to reconsider just how much you’ve moved on.
★ warnings | brief mention of injury/scars/blood, alcohol consumption, suggestive if u squint, seokmin and minghao meddling, i think thats it tell me if i missed anything ★ author’s note | it’s finally here!!! this took me longer than i thought it would, i really thought it’d only be on the shorter side (shorter side in dkfile means >10k words) but. this is literally 19k. i lied to myself i guess. hope u guys enjoy tho !! lmk your thoughts :D
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In movies, summer signifies new beginnings. The sun’s radiance is bright enough to blind, the ocean glimmers underneath its attention, the sand is warm to the touch. Ice cream drips down your fingers and makes them uncomfortably sticky against the humid breeze. Some people come home, others leave, but they all have the intent of starting their new chapter right. Summer is about growth. It is about moving on.
It is not supposed to be about Kim Mingyu.
seok ☀️ > can you pls pick up the phone > i’m sorryyyyy that i lied to you ☹️ > forgive me!! 😓💔🙏 > do you need me to grovel? because i will
You scowl.
When you came back from college, welcomed home with open arms by your family and childhood friends, you were reassured that a certain boy — with golden skin, starry eyes, and your crushed heart in the palm of his hand — would not be back in town. Foolishly, you looked past the mischievous quirk of Minghao’s eyebrow, and the sheepish wince painted across Seokmin’s face when you expressed your delight at having them all to yourself.
There would be no ex-boyfriend to thwart your plans, no boy to drown your summer in gasoline and set it aflame.
But then your shopping cart bumps into someone else’s at the store, and when you look up, the bane of your existence is staring at you, open-mouthed and wide-eyed.
You vaguely remember the rather sharp inhale Seokmin took from behind you before you scoffed, incredulous and irritated, and harshly stated that Seokmin could finish grocery shopping by himself. You do not want to associate yourself with the traitor and the liar your so-called best friend has become.
Seokmin claims you’re being rather overdramatic. He swears he didn’t know Mingyu would be home so soon.
(“So soon?” you repeated when you picked up Seokmin’s fifteenth call ten minutes ago. “What does that mean? That you knew he was always going to be coming home?”
“…Listen—”
You hung up).
You find yourself sitting in the skatepark a few blocks from the mart, legs curled up on the bench and your chin resting on your knees. As the sun begins to dip below the horizon, the occupants slowly pack up and leave, until the sounds of wheels against concrete is replaced with the murmur of cicadas and the laughter from the occasional passerby.
The warmth of the wood seeps through your denim shorts, percolating across your body until you are hot underneath your clothes. Despite the heat of the day giving way to the mellow cool of the evening, sweat forms on your upper lip and hairline, an indicator that it’s too hot to sit out here and contemplate every choice you’ve made up until this moment.
Still, you stay; you’re not sure why. You never quite liked it here, had only enjoyed it when you were surrounded by your friends and their saccharine laughter. The scars on your leg are painful reminders of the multiple falls you took when he was teaching you how to skate.
(Sometimes, on bad nights, you still feel the ghost of his fingers on your waist and your wrist, guiding you on his board while children much younger than you zoom by).
You never left this area without a new injury, whether it be a bruise on the shin or a scrape on the knee.
Memories of what once was linger.
You do not remember what you had for breakfast this morning, or what show Seokmin recommended to you a few hours ago, or what car your dad was planning on buying.
But you remember Mingyu. You remember his smile and his sweet cologne and the way his hair fell into his eyes whenever his shoulders shook with laughter. You remember what it feels like to be in his bubble; it feels like you’ve been dumped into molasses — you become aware of your every move, and time begins to move just a little slower, as if you are trying to savour every moment before he disappears.
You feel him before you hear him.
That’s why you’re not surprised when he talks, his voice soft from where he stands behind the bench. You imagine him with his hands tucked into his pockets, staring at the empty ramps (he is not looking at you. You would know if he was looking at you. His gaze would burn more than a thousand wildfires).
“I thought they told you.”
Your voice comes out hoarse. “They told me you weren’t coming home.”
“Oh,” he doesn’t sound surprised, but he stills offers an apology. “I’m sorry.”
“Why? You’re not the one who lied.”
A quiet heartbeat passes. “Right.”
Your fingers drum against your calf. “How did you find me, anyway? Did Seokmin track my location?”
“No,” he murmurs. His voice has been quiet ever since he arrived. “I just… figured you’d be here.”
You swallow a large lump in your throat. “Oh,” you say weakly.
“Yeah,” he responds. There’s a brief moment of contemplation. He knows there’s a line he cannot cross, but he tries anyway. “Do you want a ride home?”
Your response is immediate and firm, and its harshness is enough to break the calm façade he unintentionally built around the both of you. “No. I’ll walk.”
“It’s hot,” he argues.
“I don’t need you, Mingyu,” you bite back. He clamps his mouth shut as unease settles in the pit of your stomach. “I don’t— I’ll be fine.”
He seems to hesitate; you aren’t sure how long he stands behind you, searching for a response.
Then, as if it pains him to say: “Okay.”
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“Damn,” Minghao falls into Seokmin’s shoulder as they both laugh at your stumbling, “You suck!”
“Hey,” Mingyu barks, though he looks more like a puppy than the intimidating boy he imagines himself to be, “it’s not like you’re any better!”
You know Mingyu’s only saying this to make you feel better — Minghao is, arguably, the best on wheels out of the four of you — but the sentiment still warms your heart. At your smile, Mingyu’s annoyed mien is replaced with a grin of his own. He reaches over to squeeze your cheek.
“I believe in you,” he declares.
“As much as I appreciate what you’re doing,” you begin, stretching out your arms to balance on the board, “I don’t think I’m ever going to master this.”
“Don’t be stupid,” Mingyu huffs, hands hovering over your sides once the skateboard begins to move, eyes trained on your feet. “By the time we get out of here, you’re gonna give Minghao a run for his money.”
You sigh. Mingyu was always one for wishful thinking.
“You really think I’ll be able to do this by myself in half an hour?”
Mingyu hums hopefully.
The sun has already begun to set, and you had promised your parents you’d be home for dinner. With fall around the corner, the days are slowly becoming shorter, a constant reminder that your last year of school is upon you. Next are college applications, then admissions, and conversations about your future that you aren’t quite ready to have.
But you’ll worry about that when you need to.
Because right now, there is the skate park, the late summer breeze, and Mingyu, who shrieks along with you when you lose balance. His arms grab onto your waist, bringing you back to the ground as the skateboard continues to roll down the concrete. Right now, there is the furrow of his eyebrows, the mixture of disappointment and amusement swirling in his eyes, and his forehead pressed against yours.
“I thought I told you not to zone out,” he says with a slight shake of his head. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”
You shrug, pecking his nose before pulling away to chase after the skateboard. “You’re so dramatic. The worst I could’ve gotten was a scraped knee.”
Mingyu scoffs. “So? I don’t want you getting hurt under my watch.”
“You’re my boyfriend, not my babysitter.”
“Well, I might as well be,” he argues. “You’re more accident prone than me.”
Laughing, you jokingly say, “Guess that means you’ve finally met your match, Kim.”
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People used to say you and Mingyu were made for each other.
It is something you’ve tried to forget, but the fact follows you around like a shadow. This town, small and aware of the breakup, can’t seem to wrap their heads around the fact that you and Mingyu are no longer extensions of one another.
At some point, you hoped that people would understand your discomfort whenever he’s mentioned, but the fact of the matter is that you and Mingyu had been a package deal from when you were in diapers up until the end of senior year, and when you’re intertwined with someone for that long, it’s just as hard for you as it is for everyone to forget that part of yourself.
When you stop by the pharmacy, you don’t ask about him (you have no reason to), but the pharmacist still informs you that you’ve just missed him; when you see your mother’s colleague, she gushes about how nice it must be to see him after all this time (you do not have the heart to tell her otherwise); when you buy a pack of Sprite bottles for Mrs. Boo’s annual summer barbecue, the clerk asks if you know if he’s going to be in attendance (you say you have not talked to him in three years, and the clerk tilts his head in confusion).
Your patience has been worn thin by the time you arrive at Seokmin’s house.
“Hello, sunshine,” Minghao drawls when his attention settles on you. He watches you scowl before setting your bag on the armchair and taking a seat beside him on the couch. “How was your morning?”
“I’m ditching,” you declare, brushing off his question.
“Ditching what?”
“The barbecue,” you deadpan. “What else?”
“Now, why the hell would you do that?”
“Minghao,” you say blankly, “would it kill you to use your brain for once?”
“Are you calling me stupid?”
Seokmin enters the living room, carrying three cans of iced tea, all of which he places on the coffee table. He throws you and Minghao a look of annoyance. “If you guys are going to argue, please don’t do it under my roof,” he gestures around the room, “it kills the vibes.”
You roll your eyes but mutter an apology under your breath. Beside you, Minghao quips, “Y/N decided ditching the barbecue would be a good idea.”
You’re used to Seokmin’s mannerisms by now, so you don’t even flinch when he waves his arms around in disbelief. “What?” he exclaims, crouching in front of your legs and taking your hands into his. “Why the hell would you do that?”
Minghao hums. “That’s what I said.”
“Put that brain of yours to good use.”
“They said that to me, too.”
Seokmin huffs, knowing better than to let your quips deter him. “Please don’t tell me this is about Mingyu.”
You quirk an eyebrow, to which Seokmin scoffs, letting go of your hands before plopping down in front of you, even though there’s a free spot on the other side of Minghao. They scrutinize you for a moment, Seokmin’s eyes narrowed and lips twisted into a frown while Minghao stares blankly, showing no emotion or an indication of what’s going on inside his head.
It does nothing to make you feel comfortable.
You aren’t a stranger to Minghao and Seokmin’s examinations — they’re experts when it comes to breaking you down with analyzations and calculating eyes. But you haven’t been home in three years, and being on the receiving end of something as intense as this is startling, if not a little troubling.
(Being the only one enduring this, absent of a certain boy, is unsettling as well, though you’d rather die than admit that).
Seokmin nudges your ankle with his knee. “You know you’ll regret not going to this thing,” he says, eyes sparkling with amusement when you bristle. “You haven’t seen the Boo’s in forever, too. They’d be sad if you miss it.”
“Imagine how Seungkwan would feel,” Minghao adds, poking your arm to look at him, and continues to do so when you don’t. “He’d be miserable.”
You pout. “I doubt it.”
“You were in the same badminton club for five years,” Minghao argues softly, “I think he would be.”
Seokmin states, “And you’re not the type of person to let someone down, are you?” He pauses for a moment before adding, “Well, other than me and Minghao, on occasion.”
You cross your arms, leaning further into the couch as you avoid eye contact. You’re adamant on skipping, but Seokmin and Minghao know you better than anyone else, so they know exactly how to word their sentences and fabricate their bribes to get you to agree. They know, as long as you keep this up, the entirety of your summer will be spent in the four walls in your house, the only place in town guaranteed to not have Kim Mingyu.
And it may be pathetic, really, to continue letting him affect you like this.
(But it has always been you and Mingyu, Mingyu and you. He is part of your soul. There is a void in your chest that’s the shape of him. How are you supposed to erase all memory of someone like that?)
A painted fingernail pokes your side, a knee bumps your shin. Your friends look at you, hopeful.
A sigh.
“Okay, fine.”
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“Can I ask you something?”
You hum, collapsing on the bench beside Seungkwan, his newly dyed platinum blonde hair appearing orange under the setting sun. Sweat trinkles down his frame but his breathing remains even, showing no sign that he just finished playing a rather intense badminton game a few minutes prior.
“What are you guys doing after you graduate?”
You take a sip from your water bottle in hopes the liquid will make it easier to swallow the lump forming in your throat. You have never minded these types of conversations, though the reminder of the future creates a pit in your stomach that only continues to grow larger with each passing day. And, knowing Seungkwan, you know there is more to his question than college applications and major declarations.
“What do you mean?”
“You, Mingyu, Minghao, and Seokmin,” Seungkwan elaborates. “You’re all going to different colleges, right?”
Pursing your lips, you risk a glance at him, only to find that he’s staring ahead. “Minghao’s going abroad, yeah, and Seokmin’s thinking of staying here,” you explain, voice low. “Mingyu and I are going to be together, though.”
At this, Seungkwan turns to you, eyebrows furrowed. “You two are going to the same university?”
There is something about the way he asks this — unsure, withdrawn, and cautious. You see the flare of uncertainty in his eyes, and it’s enough for your heartrate to quicken.
“Yeah. Why?”
He opens and closes his mouth. There is war in his head. Very rarely do you see Seungkwan at a loss for words. He is usually so quick on his feet, so witty, so talkative, and the silence that falls between you both is painful and nerve-wracking.
Should you be worried?
“Nothing,” he eventually settles for, ignoring the silent question in your eyes. “I was just thinking about how nice that would be.”
You decide to believe him. It is so much easier to be ignorant, you think.
(But it is also much more painful later. You do not allow yourself to dwell).
“Why’d you ask, anyway?”
“I was just talking to Vernon and Chan, and I realized we all want different things,” Seungkwan sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. “We won’t all be together much longer. It feels… weird.”
“Yeah.”
“Do you think you guys will be able to stay in touch?”
You shrug hopefully. “I think so,” you say, shifting your gaze to the horizon, “we’ve been friends forever. It’d take a lot to break that up.”
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The scent of tangerines and aftershave fill your nose as you’re ambushed by a boy bursting with energy, bouncing on the balls of his feet while he resides in your arms, squeezing you tight as he spews angry statements that all come from a place of love.
Seungkwan is grinning by the time you pull away, grabbing you by your wrist and dragging you further into the backyard to catch up with other people. He doesn’t dare leave your side — he’s convinced you’ll slip away and disappear if he does — and you’re thankful; you don’t have the energy to steamroll through conversations today.
Though it’s humid, the warmth you’re engulfed in is a product of the Boo household. It is homely and welcoming and an embodiment of everything you’ve ever missed about home all in one lot. You should be happy to be here, surrounded by people you haven’t seen in years as a consequence of your avoidance, pulled into an endless pool of memories and nostalgia.
But you cannot shake it, the uneasiness.
You feel it as soon as the gate swings open and he enters, carrying two large Tupperware containers, one filled with brownies and the other with lemon squares. You feel it when he flashes his signature smile, canines as pearly white and blinding as you remember, and it still fills you with a sickening sense of joy.
“I’m gonna go get a brownie,” Seungkwan announces, loud enough to snap you out of it. “Do you want one?”
“No,” you decline, forcing yourself to smile even when you feel a burning sensation at the back of your head. “Thank you, though.”
Seungkwan nods and makes his way to the refreshments table, but not before wagging a finger in warning, “Don’t leave without saying goodbye!”
You frantically search the backyard, looking for any sign of Minghao or Seokmin, or maybe a superhero of some sorts to pull you away so you don’t disintegrate in the presence of Mingyu.
In your periphery, you see him excuse himself from conversations, eyes flickering towards you with a determination you aren’t unfamiliar with. It’s remorseful and desperate, and it reminds you of an instance in the skatepark a few years ago, you in his sweater and drowning in heartbreak and sorrow.
Someone swings their arm over your shoulder.
“Hey,” Minghao murmurs, steering you further into the backyard, away. You can’t help the sigh of relief that escapes you. “You okay?”
“Fine,” you grit your teeth.
“You’re gonna have to talk to him at some point,” he says, dropping his arm once he’s decided you’re far enough. “I feel like it’d do the both of you some good.”
“I have nothing to say to him,” you protest. “And I’m sure he has nothing to say to me.”
“I really don’t think that’s the truth.”
“It is.”
“You were in love with him,” he says. It slips out of his lips so easily, as if he were talking about the weather or the shapes of the clouds. You wish you could mutter an admission like that — accept something like that — the way he had. “And he was in love with you, and it ended badly. That is more than enough of a reason to talk.”
It ended badly. You always associated a statement like that with relationships that ended in screaming matches or slamming doors. Ones where a simple argument escalated into one that finalized a conclusion, ones where there was nothing in the room but anger and exhaustion that overpowered the love.
You’ve never associated it with how your relationship with Mingyu ended. The sun was rising, and birds were chirping, and you were standing in the same spot you asked him out, the same spot he asked you to prom, the same spot he murmured three simple words into your ear before you fell asleep on his shoulder on the park bench.
It didn’t end because of a fight. Sometimes, you wish it had — maybe then you’d feel differently about everything, about him.
It just came to a halt, and he had been the one to step on the brakes.
“Talk to him,” Minghao urges again, sympathetic but firm. “You don’t have to do it now, but just do it before you leave. Don’t you think you deserve some closure?”
You find him talking to some of your classmates from your graduating class. They hang onto every word he says, face alit with curiosity and admiration, because some things never change, and he has been put on a pedestal since birth. In the hallways of the high school, his name is on the trophies, he’s beaming in most of the pages in the yearbook, he is this town’s pride and joy.
But you know him.
You see him smile and you’re not blind to the discomfort and falseness behind it. He doesn’t want to be there, you think, and your thoughts are proven correct when he glances up to look at you, and his mask slips by a fraction. For a moment, you see sincerity, a glimpse of the Mingyu you once knew.
Someone taps him on the shoulder and, as you predicted, he puts the mask back on.
You hate that you still know him like the back of your hand.
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He is leaning against your frame, playing with your fingers, when he asks the question.
“How do you do it?” he wonders, looking up briefly to meet your questioning gaze before returning his focus on your hands, tapping them to the beat of an overplayed pop song.
His head has dipped down, allowing you to rest your cheek against it. “Do what?”
“Talk to everyone like that,” he says, using his free hand to gesture towards the backyard filled with the people you’re currently hiding from. The both of you sit on the staircase by the front entrance, away from any prying eyes. “They were hanging onto every word you said. They’re practically in love with you.”
You snicker. “What, don’t tell me you’re jealous?”
Mingyu matches your teasing tone with a playful lilt of his own. “Oh, I am. I’ve got some competition.”
You nudge him with your shoulder. “Don’t be too upset when I pick Mrs. Boo over you.”
He hums. “No promises.”
A blanket of comfortable silence falls over you. He fidgets with your hands, brushing his thumb over your nails, and tracing the lines of your palms with his index finger. You close your eyes, listening to the fading chatter of the town and the faint sizzling of meat on the grill.
“I should be asking you that, y’know,” you eventually mumble. Mingyu’s movements stop. “You’ve got the whole town wrapped around your finger. I’m pretty sure everybody loves you.”
To get you to open your eyes, he pokes your cheek. “The same could be said about you,” he responds. “Besides, people only like the idea of me. What would they say if they found out my room’s never clean and I cycle through the same two pairs of socks year-round?”
You wrinkle your nose. “God, remind me to buy you a pack of socks from the store next time I’m at the mall.”
He laughs, an unpleasant snort involuntarily escaping his nose. “I’m serious. They don’t like me. They like the illusion.”
You finally look at him, meeting his softened gaze and mellow smile. “And that doesn’t bother you?”
“No, not really,” he shrugs, but there is a minuscule halt in his voice that you don’t catch. “The only opinion that matters to me is yours.”
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You’re convinced Seokmin and Minghao are saints.
(You would never admit this, though. They would never shut up if you did).
For the entire 40-minute car ride, they manage to keep the calm, filling the silence with anecdotes about people you have only heard about through irregular video calls, and arguments about who should be in control of the music. Eventually, they settle for handing the aux over to Mingyu, who meets your gaze through the rearview mirror before clicking on a familiar playlist and looking out the window.
After the first five songs, your face heats up as you remember bashfully making him a playlist back in high school. You settle into your spot, hoping the battered polyester of Seokmin’s car seats will swallow you whole.
When you agreed to tag along on their trip out of town and into the city, Minghao and Seokmin didn’t bother hiding their surprise, especially since they made it clear Mingyu was going to be in attendance. Seungkwan even offered to let you carpool with him, Vernon, and Chan, but you declined — you might as well suck it up, seeing as you and Mingyu are going to be in the same vicinity for the rest of the summer.
Still, you can’t help but regret your decisions as you squirm in the backseat behind Seokmin, who’s fiddling with the A/C, listening intently to a story Minghao’s telling about some scandal involving two classmates he’s never talked to before. You’re thankful for their nosiness, because it gives you some level of comfort and helps you ignore Mingyu’s fleeting glances from the passenger seat.
“The professor’s a hardass so everyone was convinced they were fucking,” Minghao says, leaning forward in his seat. “Turns out he was just her stepdad, who suffered from a chronic case of favouritism.”
Seokmin snorts. “Out of all the conclusions to jump to, that’s the one they picked?”
Minghao quirks an eyebrow. “You of all people should not be saying that.”
“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”
As Seokmin and Minghao begin to bicker for the nth time that evening, your gaze slides from the window to the Snoopy trinket hanging from the rearview mirror to the mirror itself, and you can’t find it in you to be surprised when you see Mingyu already looking at you. An unsaid question dances in his eyes, wary and timid.
Are you sure this is okay?
You gulp, worrying your lips between your teeth before shrugging. Yes, it’s fine.
He raises his eyebrow. This is the first time you’ve acknowledged him tonight.
Really?
You shrug again. Really.
And you leave it at that, turning again to look outside.
Seokmin takes fifteen minutes to find a decent parking spot, so when you finally enter the nightclub, you’re prepared for the scowl on Seungkwan’s face when he spots the four of you. He scolds Seokmin first and receives a flick to his forehead in response, which only angers him more. Before you can meet his wrath, you slip away, moving to enter the booth and letting Mingyu and Minghao get the brunt of Seungkwan’s rage and disappointment.
“Y/N!” Chan exclaims when you settle next to him, wrapping his arms around your torso to give you a brief hug before sliding you his unfinished pint of beer. “I haven’t talked to you in forever!”
When you take a sip of the alcohol, you try your best to hide your grimace when the lukewarm liquid hits your tongue. “I talked to you at the barbecue two days ago.”
“Well, I missed you. Sue me,” he throws his hands up in exasperation. Across from you, Vernon hides his amused smile behind his own pint. “You come home after, what, three years? Forgive me if I’ve become clingy.”
“Didn’t know you missed me so much.”
Vernon’s eyes are dripping with mirth. “He went broke from using all his coins at the fountain in town square,” he says, laughing when Chan shoots him daggers. “He went there whenever he was free and was wishing you’d come back—”
“He’s exaggerating,” Chan huffs. In retaliation to Vernon’s teasing, Chan takes his friend’s pint of beer and chugs it down until there is nothing left. “I only wished whenever Mingyu was home, he was so mopey, he would’ve been happier if you were here.”
You freeze.
“Okay,” Vernon interjects, pushing himself out of his seat to move all the empty glasses away from Chan, as if doing so will help the situation. He throws you an apologetic look, though it lacks his usual sincerity. “That’s enough for tonight.”
Chan whines. “But I wanted to do tequila shots with everyone.”
“Drink this first,” Vernon instructs.
Chan grumbles but accepts the glass of water Vernon gives him.
Before you can say something about Chan’s offhanded comment, the rest of your friends climb into the booth, and Vernon and Chan ease their way into their conversation as soon as everyone’s seated. You lean back, cowering behind Minghao and Chan’s frames as Seungkwan makes a joke you barely catch and Minghao repeats every story he told on the journey here.
You try your best to engage in the conversation, really, but it’s been so long since you’ve been with this group of people. As they discuss events you were never there for, snippets of a summer you weren’t part of, the awkwardness begins to build in your stomach, because it was never supposed to be like this, you were never supposed to feel left out.
If the person you were a few years ago saw you now, you know they’d be a little disappointed. Maybe they’d pity you, too.
The consequences, you suppose, of never coming home.
Sighing, you gesture for Minghao to slip out of the booth so you can get out. You say something about going to the bar to get another drink, and he nods, squeezing your shoulder — his silent way of telling you to stay safe — before letting you go.
You try your best to avoid any stumbling individuals, wrinkling your nose and murmuring apologies that get lost in the noise when you can’t avoid bumping into someone. With a glance over your shoulder, you make sure your friends aren’t paying any attention to you before making your way towards the exit.
It’s a warm evening, but it’s cooler than it is inside, and you relish in the temporary peace before you have to inevitably make your way back. They’ll notice if you’re gone too long, and they’ve always been easy to worry.
“Hey.”
A tall frame enters your periphery, clad in a loose white t-shirt and light-washed jeans, staring ahead at the passing cars. You ignore the way his face falls when you shuffle further to the side, away from him.
Your history aside, Kim Mingyu has always run hot. Before, you wouldn’t mind — before, you would’ve been clinging onto him — but time has passed, and you aren’t the same people you were back in high school.
A part of you misses it. There is something so comfortable about Mingyu that you can only describe in insignificant memories, like when he moves you to the side furthest from the road, or when he wraps his scarf around your neck because the cold is nipping at your nose, or when he buys mini versions of your skincare products to keep in his house for when you’re too tired to drive back home.
It's almost homely. Like a hug, maybe.
(You missed it a lot, at first, his aura. Whenever you needed it most, you’d lie awake at night, staring at the ceiling, and instead of sheep lulling you into slumber, it’s him. Way back when, he’d rub circles into your wrist to help you fall asleep, and you think of it then, because it used to bring you so much comfort).
(In your dreams, you murmur his name — Mingyu, Mingyu, Mingyu — like a prayer, like an incantation).
“I’m sorry.”
You jolt in surprise. Not at his voice, but at the apology. “Why?”
“You’re uncomfortable.”
“I’m not,” you protest with a frown. “I’m just… I couldn’t think of how to contribute to the conversation, that’s all.”
“Oh,” Mingyu says gently. He looks relieved. “So, you’re okay that I’m here?”
“Yeah, I mean, they’re your friends, too.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
A quiet moment passes, and you see the relief begin to crumble.
“Yeah, I don’t mind that you’re here,” you offer. The next sentence slips out before you can stop it, “I’m glad, actually.”
His eyes widen in surprise. “You are?”
You shift uncomfortably on your feet, wincing. “A little. I haven’t seen you in a while.”
Before this month, you only saw him through Instagram, glimpses of his life that were curated to make his life seem special and happy and void of any worries. You only heard about him — the real him — when his name accidentally slipped out of your friends’ or your family’s mouths.
You can’t help but think that it wasn’t enough.
“How’s school?” he asks, subtly moving so he’s slightly facing you.
“It’s alright,” you answer. “Stressful, but that’s a given. My roommate got a boyfriend, though. He leaves his shit everywhere and he acts like he lives there.”
A soft chuckle leaves his lips. “Yeah, I know, Minghao told me.”
You furrow your eyebrows. “Oh? Why would he tell you that?”
“I asked,” he shrugs. You finally, really look at him now, and your confusion is evident. He seems unfazed by it, but you can see the crimson slowly climbing up his neck. “I ask about you sometimes.”
“Why?”
You know why, you think. What’s the point in asking when you already know the reason behind his actions and intentions? Your soul is intertwined with his, it has been for a while, but you can’t seem to accept it.
You still hurt.
Minghao’s right. Maybe the closure is needed.
“Because I care about you,” he confesses, trying his best to hide his yearning. “You were my best friend, and I want to know if you’re still doing okay.”
Your fingers shake, so you stuff them into the pockets of your sweater. “And what do they tell you when you ask?”
He hesitates, scanning your face while he plans his best course of action. The wounds haven’t closed, the stitches were poorly sewn, and blood spills out of the cuts he left like the damage he’s done is fresh.
“They tell me that I should ask you myself,” he says, “But sometimes they take pity on me, and they’ll tell me things you’ve told them. Like the roommate situation, or the barista who fucked up your order, or how you scored the highest on an exam— congratulations, by the way.”
You bite the inside of your cheek. “Thank you,” you reply meekly.
“It’s no problem,” he responds. Contemplation flickers across his face before he adds, rather reluctantly, “I’m proud of you, you know.”
You feel the same way you did when he first confessed, like an immature and blubbering teenager, full of hope and optimism and dreams of what could be.
“Mingyu—”
“I mean it,” he interrupts. “I’ve seen the stuff you’ve posted, and I should’ve congratulated you then, I know that, but—”
You give him a small smile. “Better late than never.”
He flashes you a grin, the same one you’d longed to see, the one you used to humiliate yourself for. You would’ve done anything to see him smile like that — a smile that isn’t put on just for show, but one that’s genuine and blinding. It’s something reserved for certain people, those who have seen through the illusion that was created for him, those who have seen it and still love him for who he is, despite his faults and imperfections.
He nods. “Better late than never.”
Despite your best efforts to squash your delight, your heart escapes your desperate grip, and it soars.
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It’s cold.
The ground has frozen over, leaving jagged pieces of ice all over the concrete. The snow, previously a crisp white, has turned brown due to its contact with cars. The wind is cold, persistent, it refuses to let you forget about its existence with each gust.
On the other side of the parking lot, you see your friends whisper amongst themselves before one of them throws his hands up in exasperation and stomps over to his car, a beat-up vehicle with torn polyester seats and discarded bubblegum wrappers on the floor. He’s grumbling something under his breath as he settles into the driver’s seat and leaves without so much as a goodbye.
It’s cold, and something’s wrong.
Your eyes find Mingyu’s and your stomach sinks.
Something’s wrong, but you’re unsure whether you’ll find out what it is tonight.
“Hey,” you say once he’s in earshot. He stiffens at the sound of your voice. “Is Seokmin okay?”
“Yeah,” Mingyu says. “I’ll just apologize tomorrow morning.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing big.” He tightens the scarf around his neck and turns to walk towards his car. You follow, because with Mingyu you always do, and look at him over the roof as he digs in his pockets for his keys.
You clench your jaw, uncomfortable (when was the last time you’ve felt unpleasant around him? Things have started getting weirder since everyone started sending in their college applications). You wonder if you should push for answers, but you stop yourself before you can open your mouth. You’ve never done something like this before — Mingyu has always told you everything; secrets between the two of you are scarce.
He unlocks the doors. “Is it okay if we stop by the convenience store before I bring you home? I gotta buy some ramen for my sister.”
He looks tired. Maybe you can ask him about what happened another day.
“Yeah, sure.”
He nods in thanks and enters before another gust of wind hits — it’s harsher this time, as if it’s sending you a warning.
You really should’ve brought your own scarf.
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When your family yells for you to open the door, the last thing you expect to see on the other side of it is Kim Mingyu.
Your ire is gone in a flash.
“Um…”
Mingyu winces. “Hi. Sorry, I— your brother called me, he said it was an emergency, and I was worried, so—”
“Mingyu!” your brother yells excitedly, running out of the kitchen before throwing his arms around Mingyu’s torso. “You’re here! Thank God, Y/N was ruining the cake—”
You scoff loudly. “What the fuck, Daeshim? You’re the one who put in salt instead of sugar—"
“Get in, get in!” Daeshim says cheerily, throwing you a glare. You narrow your eyes in return, ignoring how Mingyu’s hands brush against yours when he makes his way towards the kitchen after toeing off his shoes. Daeshim pokes you. “I’m telling Mom you swore.”
“What are you, five?”
Daeshim sticks his tongue out. “Add some money in the swear jar.”
“I hate you,” you deadpan. Your eyes flicker to the white sneakers neatly placed by the other footwear, worn from years of use. “Why did you ask him to come here?”
Your brother shrugs. “He usually stops by, anyway, to help for Mom’s birthday.”
“Wait, what?”
“Yeah,” he says sarcastically, gesturing for you to move so he can shut the front door. “Are you sure you guys broke up? Cause when you didn’t come home for the summer, he would still check up on us and stuff, and he’d always ask about you. It was so weird. It felt like I was a child of divorce.”
You smack him on the head. “Can you not say that about my relationship?”
“Well, it’s not a relationship anymore,” he quips.
You tense, crossing your arms so you don’t give Daeshim the delight of seeing your clenched fists. “You know what I meant.”
“If you don’t want to stay, then go. But he’s not going anywhere until Mom’s cake is done.”
“Why not? We were doing just fine without him.”
“Are you serious? You know he’s better at baking than you ever will be.”
“Okay, rude.”
“It’s true—”
“Uh, guys?” Both of your heads snap to wear Mingyu peeks around the corner, his amusement thinly veiled behind his distress. “Your kitchen’s a mess.”
Daeshim grins, pointing his finger at you. “Y/N’s fault!” he exclaims before heading to the kitchen.
You poke your cheek with your tongue in annoyance, watching your sibling nonchalantly disappear from your line of sight before you focus on Mingyu. He’s leaning against the wall now, hands shoved in his sweatpants and his head tilted to the side. He looks at you like he’s studying you, trying to find a sign of any kind that he needs to leave.
He must’ve found nothing because he stays.
You clear your throat, straightening your posture. “It was not my fault.”
His lips quirk up. “Oh, I’m sure.”
He disappears before you can retort.
(He’s always been good at that — leaving before you have a chance to fight).
When you finally join them in the kitchen, there’s a familiar baby pink apron around Mingyu’s neck, already splattered with cake batter as he whisks something in a steel bowl. Daeshim is crouched in front of the fridge, putting containers of leftovers on the floor in search of something. You kick his leg with your foot, throwing him off balance, and you both give each other matching scowls.
“Don’t put the Tupperware on the floor.”
He rolls his eyes but picks them up without argument, placing them on the empty counter by the fridge. You don’t understand why he couldn’t have done that in the first place, but Daeshim is notorious for making terrible decisions.
You don’t miss the way Mingyu’s eyes soften when he sees you. “You’re gonna help?”
“I came with the intention to supervise Daeshim and make sure he doesn’t accidentally set something on fire, but…” you shrug, “I could help, yeah.”
“Perfect,” Mingyu grins. “Can you get the baking pan?”
You do as he asks, handing it over to him over the kitchen island. “You’re gonna put it in the oven already? Daeshim was complaining about the batter so much he almost convinced me there was no saving it.”
Mingyu snorts as he cautiously pours the mixture into the pan. “He was just being overdramatic—”
Daeshim snaps from his spot near the fridge. “Are you guys just gonna talk about me as if I’m not here?”
“—it was only a little runny,” he assures, making sure not a drop of batter ends up on the floor or the countertop. Once he’s done, he brushes his hands on the apron and wipes his forehead with his arm. “Can you put it in the oven? You guys preheated it, right?”
You hum in confirmation, carefully placing the tin in the oven as Mingyu steps over Daeshim to try and get to the sink. You frown at your brother, who’s been scouring for something since you walked in. “What the hell are you even looking for?”
“Strawberry milk.”
“I drank it all.”
Daeshim huffs. “Of course you did.” He stands, slamming the fridge door with a dramatic flick of his wrist before hastily making his way out of the kitchen and towards the exit. “I’m gonna go to the convenience store to get some.”
“Wha— No, you have to help clean—”
“Can’t hear you!”
There’s a few more footsteps and the sound of Daeshim struggling to put his shoes on before the door inevitably slams shut.
You don’t let the shock of your brother’s irritating audacity bother you for too long. The way your fingers swipe through your phone to find his contact is lightning quick, but the first call is sent to voicemail and before you can even try his cell a second time, you find that you’re blocked.
Prick.
Mingyu’s humming catches your attention. You look up from your phone to find him with his back against the sink. “Voicemail?”
“Blocked.”
Mingyu snorts. “Of course.”
You send him an awkward smile before turning away so you don’t have to face him. You and Mingyu haven’t spoken since last week on that trip out of town; after the two of you slipped back inside, no words were exchanged except for an apprehensive goodnight when Seokmin dropped you off at home.
With friends as nosy as your own, privacy is hard to come by, but now, in their absence, there’s nothing more you want than a buffer. The tension’s become more palpable without a third party, and your palms are getting clammy at just the thought of searching for an excuse to kick Mingyu out of the house without hurting his feelings.
(Why do you care? He hurt you first, didn’t he?)
“Hey,” Mingyu calls out tentatively. “Do you want me to help clean up? It’s a mess in here.” When you don’t reply, he adds, “I don’t want you to do this all by yourself.”
You take a look at the kitchen around you and decide that you don’t want him to leave, either.
“Okay.”
Mingyu grins. “Okay.”
It doesn’t take long for the two of you to find a system that’s not messy or chaotic or involves stepping into the other’s path — you and Mingyu have always been like that, like a cohesive unit. The feeling that shoots through your veins at the realization that you still are is nothing short of euphoric.
Before you know it, the kitchen is clean. The surface sparkles as Mingyu swipes a finger at it to see if there’s anything he’s missed, looking up at you with fleeting disappointment.
You think he’s about to announce that it’s time for him to go, but he surprises you when what comes out of his mouth is a question instead.
“Can I ask you something?”
You press yourself against the counter, thankful for the kitchen island acting as a barrier between you both. “Sure.”
“If we…” he pauses. Regret already begins to fester in his skin, pulled down by the weight of his frown and the pinch in his eyebrows. “Uh, never mind.”
Your heart lurches in your ribcage. “Mingyu—”
“It’s fine,” he assures but his smile is tight, and his tone says otherwise, “I should probably head back. I’ll — uh — I’ll see you?”
You gnaw at your bottom lip. “Yeah,” you say, ignoring the way your heart begins to crack as Mingyu unties the apron and slips it over his head. “Yeah, I’ll see you.”
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A worrying cloud has attached itself to you, nibbling on every last bit of your sanity like a parasite. Because something is wrong, you’re sure of it, even if everyone around you acts otherwise. Seokmin still laughs and makes bad jokes, Minghao still scolds you for not bundling up more when it’s so cold outside, and Mingyu still attracts attention and reaches for your hand and pokes your cheek whenever you’re not paying enough attention to him.
Everything is normal.
(But…)
“Does this look stupid?” Mingyu asks, staring at the banner he’s hung up.
Minghao grabs a macaroon from the table and rearranges the assortment, so it looks like he never laid a finger on it. “Yes.”
Mingyu huffs before turning to you. “Is it really?”
“It’s a little crooked,” you say, taking your eyes off him for a moment when Minghao presses the macaroon into your palm after making a face to suggest he doesn’t like it.
As Mingyu assesses the best way to fix the Happy Birthday! banner, Minghao starts poking at the pile of presents. You frown, kicking his ankle with your foot in an attempt to get him to stop. He only flicks your shoulder in response.
“Don’t touch those,” you hiss.
“I’m just trying to guess what other people got him,” Minghao retorts.
You deadpan, “You’re sizing up the competition.”
“Yes,” he confirms, “I need to make sure my present is better than all of these.”
“You got him a gift card to Party City. I didn’t even know they had those.”
“He can use it for Halloween!”
“Halloween is nine months away.”
“Oh, whatever,” Minghao grumbles. “Seungkwan will find some sort of use for it. All that matters is that my present isn’t the worst one.” He turns to you, jabbing a finger at your shoulder. “Hey, wait, what did you get him?”
You push his wrist as a scowl takes over your previous amused expression. “What’s it to you?”
“You’re a horrible gift-giver.”
“That’s not true!” you object, immediately turning to walk over to Mingyu, who’s staring at the banner in distress. “Gyu! I need to ask you something—”
“Nuh-uh, you can’t ask him, he’ll agree with you!”
You mockingly pout at Minghao before tugging Mingyu’s sleeve. “Hey, babe, question.”
Mingyu’s more than happy to have his attention on something else, letting his hands that were previously taping up the banner fall onto your shoulders. “What’s up?”
“I’m a good gift-giver, right?”
A moment passes. You scoff. Minghao cackles.
“Listen—”
“What the hell?”
“I love you and everything,” Mingyu begins, “but you really aren’t.”
“I hate you.”
“You don’t,” he says quickly. “You love me. Even though you gave me a terrible birthday present last year.”
“You said you liked that apron!”
Minghao pipes up, “There’s a reason why he leaves it at your house, Y/N.”
You gasp, pointing an accusing finger at your boyfriend’s chest. Before you have a chance to defend your honour, Seokmin comes barrelling into the rented community centre, carrying two boxes of used decorations.
“Hey, guys,” he exhales, out of breath, dropping the large containers on the floor with a relieved huff. “So, the guests are coming in, like, twenty minutes, and Chan’s getting Seungkwan here in forty-five, so that should give us enough time to finish decorating… Mingyu, I thought I told you to deal with the banner?”
“It’s not cooperating with me,” your boyfriend whines.
Seokmin rolls his eyes before stomping over to the wall to fix the banner himself. Mingyu follows, grabbing the tape on his way so he can help. They don’t talk, at least not at a volume that allows you to hear what they’re saying — it’s only heated whispers that are exchanged, and you catch a glimpse of Mingyu’s nervous expression before it disappears completely.
He looks over his shoulder and flashes you a smile and it’s the same one you’ve seen him give everyone else. It’s a mask.
This isn’t something you should be on the receiving end of.
You open your mouth to say something — to say what, exactly, you aren’t sure — but Minghao tugs at your wrists and holds up a packet of balloons.
“We should start doing something before Seokmin gets mad,” he says before dragging you out of Seokmin and Mingyu’s earshot.
It’ll be okay, you think. This will pass over and your friend group will still be as close as you can be once university comes and you and Mingyu pack your bags, leaving this small town behind.
(But your worries refuse to let go; they’ve seeped into your bones, and you think their weight may crush you until you’re broken beyond repair. But ignorance is bliss, isn’t it? That’s what you’ve always said to yourself. And you’ve never needed to worry about something like this, whatever it is, before).
Everything will be fine.
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Everything will not be fine, and you aren’t sure why Minghao thought it would be, but he was unbelievably wrong.
A rainy day has caused a picnic in the park to turn into a board game night at Seokmin’s house, and a homicidal game of Monopoly (a skit between Chan and Seokmin had been the last straw before Minghao flipped the board over) quickly transformed into a homicidal game of Twister. Before you is a jungle of limbs, and you’re glad that you were fast enough to volunteer to spin the wheel so you wouldn’t be caught in the inevitable crossfire.
“Left hand, red.”
Chan’s complaints come immediately.
“Chan,” Seungkwan warns, “I will kill you if you try to push me off.”
“I haven’t even moved yet.”
Seungkwan mocks his words with a high-pitched tone that barely resembles Chan’s voice before Minghao scolds them to cut it out and hurry up. Chan scoffs indignantly before moving his hand to a free red circle, struggling to find his balance.
“Are you good?” you ask blankly.
“Fine,” he grits out, “Just go so it gets to my turn faster.”
“Go slower!” Vernon exclaims from beside you, the first to be eliminated with his phone in one hand and a handful of popcorn in the other.
“Fuck you, Vernon!”
You spin the wheel. “Hao, right foot, green.”
Minghao huffs, but his new position, although uncomfortable, has given him the perfect opportunity to sabotage Seokmin. Almost as if they can sense your thoughts, your friends look at each other, one mischievous and the other in warning, before Minghao fakes a move, successfully luring Seokmin into his trap when the latter flinches and flails like a fish out of water before landing on his side.
Seokmin groans, sitting up and rubbing his ribcage as everyone laughs. He looks to you, giving you those puppy-dog eyes that always manage to worm him out of any undesirable situation he’s ever found himself in, but you only shrug helplessly in response. Seokmin sighs, flicking Minghao’s forehead, before making he settles beside you in all his pouty, wronged glory.
“It’s okay,” Vernon says from your other side, phone speaker pressed against his ear as a video of what just occurred plays on the phone. The sound of Seokmin’s yelp of surprise from 30 seconds ago causes your lips to twitch upwards. “You’ll get them next time!”
Seokmin leans into your shoulder. “Y/N! He’s making fun of me!”
You pat him reassuringly. “You’ll survive, don’t worry.”
“Hey!” Seungkwan interrupts. “Spin the wheel! It’s my turn.”
“Okay, okay! Right foot, blue.”
Much to your surprise, the rest of the game goes by smoothly with Seungkwan as the victor. Chan is beside himself, grumbling with his arms crossed as Seungkwan mimics the fall that led to his demise. When Chan opens his mouth to snap back, Minghao reaches over Vernon’s lap for the remote to increase the volume of the TV.
Once their argument has died down, Chan suggests, “Does anyone want to play Cards Against Humanity?”
“Lame, absolutely not,” Seokmin replies instantly. “I’m hungry.”
Seungkwan makes himself comfortable on the armchair. “Pizza should be coming soon. Who ordered it, anyway?” Mingyu raises his hand. “What did you get?”
“One cheese, one pepperoni.”
Chan boos, making a comment about the mediocre order which Mingyu skillfully brushes off, immune to his friends’ instigations after years of receiving them.
Minghao pokes Mingyu with his foot. “Can you check to see what time it’ll get here?”
Mingyu unlocks his phone while Vernon begins complaining about having to register for classes first thing tomorrow morning. His whines are halted, however, when Mingyu sharply inhales a breath and clears his throat sheepishly.
You raise an eyebrow. Everyone in the room knows what that means.
“Oh, what did you do now?”
“Seungkwan! What makes you think I did something wrong?”
“Do you really want me to answer that?”
Mingyu shakes his head before turning his phone so the screen is facing all of you. The screen says the order’s been good to go for the past five minutes, but— “I accidentally ordered for pick-up, not delivery.”
Chan rolls his eyes. “Then go pick it up.”
“What?”
“Well, it says the order’s ready, right? Go pick it up.”
“But I’m so comfortable here.”
“And we’re hungry.”
“Why does it have to be me?”
“Whose fault is it that the pizza guy isn’t on Seokmin’s doorstep right now?”
Mingyu huffs, clearly having run out of retorts. He’s quick to admit defeat, pushing himself off the couch and adjusting the hoodie that’s ridden up his torso. You watch his every move, ignoring Minghao’s gaze.
Just as he begins searching for his car keys, Minghao pipes up, “You shouldn’t go alone, though.”
Mingyu frowns. “Huh? Why not?”
“Because you’re clumsy and you’ll drop something.”
“Can’t you guys put some faith in me—?”
“Y/N could go with you.”
Mingyu closes his mouth, trapping any more complaints behind his teeth. You stare at Minghao like a deer caught in headlights.
Vernon is the first to protest, eyebrows furrowed in concern. “I don’t—”
“Mingyu’s clumsy and he’ll drop something,” Minghao repeats impatiently. He shares a glance with Seokmin, who seems to understand Minghao’s intentions in milliseconds.
“Yeah, and we can’t let Y/N go by themselves because the last time they drove they ran over my mailbox.”
You squawk in protest. “That was when I was sixteen, I—”
“And I’ve feared you every time you’ve gotten behind a wheel ever since,” Seokmin says. He swiftly dodges Seungkwan’s questioning nudge and Chan’s panic, giving you the biggest smile he can muster before letting his eyes land back on Minghao.
Minghao looks at you, apologetic and stern all at once. “The ride will only be, like, ten minutes. Five minutes there and back,” he shrugs, turning away to face the TV. “You’re both adults, you’ll be fine.”
You think you might strangle them.
“Okay,” Mingyu says from behind you. You look at him, he stares back. “We’ll be okay. Right?”
He’s offering you one last final chance to back out. Your fingers twitch at your side before you gulp, nodding. “Yeah, we’ll be okay.”
You’re shoved out the door before you can even blink, wearing Seokmin’s old Crocs instead of the sneakers you had arrived with (“These are faster to put on, make haste, make haste! Get out of here, I want my pizza!”). You sink further and further into the passenger seat as Mingyu pulls out of the driveway, trying your best to focus on anything besides him.
But it proves to be impossible. The air freshener is the same as it was all those years ago, the same cheap dog bobblehead is on the dashboard, the pack of gum he’s left in the cupholder is the same one he used to buy in bulk at the supermarket. Nothing in here has changed, as if the vehicle is stuck in time, refusing to move forward despite all the years that have passed.
Mingyu must’ve noticed you staring at the gum because he picks it up and hands it to you in silent offering. You shake your head, and he puts it down.
The awkwardness might as well eat you whole.
The radio does nothing to ease the tension when the next song that plays is about heartbreak and being left behind while everyone moves on. Your sanity is hanging on by a thread that might snap if you’re in this car any longer.
In the corner of your eye, Mingyu opens his mouth to speak, but he decides against it when the pizza parlour comes into view. He swiftly parks by the front entrance, and once you get out, you notice that the car is centred perfectly between the lines.
You suppose he’s gotten better at driving over the years. The last time you were here, he’d parked so crookedly your stomach hurt from laughing.
“Hey,” Mingyu says, staring at you quizzically. “Are you good?”
“Yeah,” you murmur, slipping past him when he holds the door open for you. “Thanks.”
He walks up to the counter, saying his order number to the employee and nodding understandingly when she explains that one of the pizzas had been dropped on the floor and they’ve gone to remake the order. He returns to you — beside you, as if it has always been his rightful place — hands tucked into his pockets as he sways on the balls of his feet.
This must be some form of torture, you think. Minghao and Seokmin have done this in retaliation for every bad thing you’ve ever done to them.
(“Seokmin and I love you both,” Minghao confesses over the phone, face blurry due to your unpredictable wi-fi, “You know that, right?”
“I do.”
“And we really think you should talk to each other,” he says, and even though you’re not looking at your phone, you can tell he’s staring at you in that analytical way of his while you try to finish an assignment. “Maybe it’ll do you some good.”
You sigh. “Hao—”
“It’s been three months. Let him explain.”
“I did,” you hiss. “He was the one that left.”
Silence. You rub your temples.
When you finally look at Minghao, he’s remorseful. “Sorry,” he murmurs, flopping onto his bed and letting his camera pan up to the ceiling. You can no longer see his face, but you can hear the despair in his voice. “It’s just hard, being in the middle of this.”
“I’m not asking you to pick sides.”
“I know that,” he argues softly. “I just want everything to go back to normal.”)
You dig your nails into your skin as Mingyu begins humming to a song playing over the speakers. It’s one that they’ve been playing for years, a pop song that will have to be pried out of a radio host’s dead, cold hands.
It’s a song Mingyu despises.
(It’s so catchy, though, he used to tell you, ashamed. You need to save me from it).
When Daeshim had called you at the end of the semester, the first thing out of his lips was a question about your return. You had agreed with reluctance, and he said something about how long it’s been, how time heals all wounds, that nothing should hurt anymore.
But three years cannot erase a lifetime.
You foolishly thought it could. When you arrived, you pretended you didn’t see an old photo of him taped on your closet door. When you first saw him at the supermarket, you ignored the way his hand twitched to reach over to you. When he talked to you outside of that nightclub, you evaded the familiarity of his warmth like it was a virus.
You foolishly thought it was enough. You built a wall of indifference around yourself, but it had begun to chip away just as quickly as you constructed it. It was never foolproof. It was never made of stone, but of cards.
One glance from Mingyu and it all comes tumbling down.
“Minghao told me a few days ago that you wanted to talk,” Mingyu says once the song has ended.
“Yeah.”
“But you don’t want to.”
“Not yet, no.”
“Well,” he says, taking a step towards the counter when the employee calls out his order number, “whenever you’re ready to, I’m here.”
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“Something’s wrong.”
He understands what you mean. You’re not referring to the TV that won’t play the movie or the takeout that tastes a little off. You look at him nervously, afraid to break the flimsy spell of calm he’s enchanted on everything he touches.
“Yeah,” he replies, gripping the armrest tightly.
You blink at him, waiting for something he won’t offer. For a moment, he thinks you might push, but you have never been one to do so; you have always believed that doing something like that only throws you down a road of hurt.
So, he shouldn’t be surprised when you eventually nod in defeat.
“Well,” you say with a smile reserved for strangers you can only pretend to care about, “if you need to talk about it, I’m here.”
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Four friends occupy a small corner of the skatepark. One of them is on the ramps, appearing in the air to do a trick before disappearing from sight. Another is rolling down the concrete, hands stretched out to maintain balance.
Two sit in the shade, watching.
“Do you think they’ll talk soon?” one of them asks, a taller boy with light brown hair and a beauty mark near the apple of his cheek.
The other, dressed in all black despite the sweltering heat, runs a hand through his mullet. “I don’t know, Seokmin. Probably. Hopefully.”
“Do you think they’re mad at us for forcing them to get the pizza?”
“Yes.”
Seokmin snorts, but his amusement is short-lived. He continues to observe his friends as they stray further and further from each other. He catches the way they glance over their shoulders in concern.
“They’re stupid, aren’t they, Minghao?” he finally says. The boy beside him hums in agreement. “Were they always like this in high school?”
“I don’t think so,” Minghao replies. “If they were, I don’t know how I managed to survive.”
“You’re dramatic.”
“Hypocrite.”
Seokmin sticks his tongue out. Then, quietly, as if the other two friends will hear, he says, “Well, they need to hurry up and talk. I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” he grumbles. “Maybe if I just told Y/N about it sooner, or pushed Mingyu—”
“Probably,” Minghao interrupts before Seokmin can concoct any more what-ifs from his brain. His stomach churns at the numerous possibilities he will never see. “But there’s nothing we can do it about it now.”
“Maybe things would be better if we did things differently.”
“Yeah, but the past is the past. Besides,” he sighs, watching one friend trip on his way towards them and the other struggle to stop themselves on the board, “this isn’t our problem to fix. I don’t think it ever was. We’ll just leave it to them.”
“You really think they’ll work it out?”
“God. I really hope so. It would put all of us out of our misery.”
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Spring has long since bled into winter when you find yourself at the skatepark, wearing a sweater that was never yours with your heart dangling from its sleeve. It’s chilly at this hour of the morning when the world is quiet and your denial is prominent, and it gets even colder when your name falls from Mingyu’s lips and his touch is uncharacteristically icy against your skin.
You rip your wrist from his grasp and hurt flashes across his face before he takes a step back.
“I—” he gulps, “you shouldn’t run out like that.”
He purses his lips, and you notice how chapped they’ve gotten over the past few days. Everything about him has roughened up — it goes farther than his dry hands and the unruly state of his hair; he’s grown distant. He looks at you with a mixture of emotions you can’t explain, his words have are clipped, and you aren’t sure how long this behaviour would’ve gone on for if you hadn’t caught him signing up for classes at a university he never told you he was going to attend.
“You lied to me.”
He exhales shakily. “I know. I’m sorry, I—” he rubs a hand over his face because he doesn’t know what to say. Mingyu isn’t like this. People would kill to own even a sliver of his charisma; it’s so easy for him to talk himself out of things, but the words have died in his mouth before they even reached the tip of his tongue.
“You—You should’ve told me,” you stammer. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Mingyu has never felt this moronic before, standing before you and stretching his hand in your direction only to watch how, every time without fail, you take a step back as if any contact from him will result in third-degree burns.
“I’m sorry,” he repeats, “But you were already so worried about all of us growing apart after graduation, and I didn’t want to add onto that stress. So I kept putting it off, and I shouldn’t have, I know that, I just—” his face falls, “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
It takes everything in him not to flinch when your anger flares. Your resolve is rotting away to dissolve into the morning air; he thinks, offhandedly, that the molecules of your decaying calm have collided once again and found purchase over his head. A cloud to loom over him, made up of your melancholy and his guilt.
“You didn’t want to hurt me,” you say incredulously, in a tone so hurt that Mingyu’s heart drops. “Well, look where we are now, Mingyu.”
He doesn’t like the position he’s put the both of you in. He doesn’t like how this conversation is tainting every happy memory he ever had at this skatepark. He wonders if he’ll see your hurt expression every time he closes his eyes.
This could’ve been avoided, he’s aware of that. Seokmin made sure to voice his disapproval every time they crossed paths, Minghao’s veil of indifference was slowly crumbling with each passing day, and Seungkwan — who made the mistake of being around when Mingyu let it slip that his post-graduation plans didn’t match yours — grew more nervous than all of them combined.
For as long as he can remember, everyone he knows has never done well with secrets. He’s always been a firm believer that they’re parasitic, the reason behind every downfall he’s ever had the displeasure of witnessing. But that was before he had a secret worth keeping.
(It does not matter if it’s worth it or not. At the end of the day, he was right all along. They are infectious, deadly little things).
Soon after he was born, it was common belief amongst townsfolk that he would change the world. It did not matter how; they would support him regardless. He thinks his entire being may as well have been made from diamonds with how he was created to be the star of something he never asked to be part of.
It’s exhausting.
The university you two had chosen at fifteen-years-old was perfect for you. When you took the virtual tours and exchanged messages with its students, you looked like you had stepped right out of a fairy tale. But it was two hours away from this town, so far yet so close to the very thing that’s been draining him of energy, and he quickly came to realize last summer that your dream school was the last thing he wanted.
But you would’ve followed him anywhere. If it weren’t for his, Minghao, and Seokmin’s insistence, you would’ve chosen to stay at home, because you never liked the idea of leaving everything behind.
That’s where you and he differ.
And he couldn’t take that from you.
Because you and him were always believed to be cut from the same cloth — model students, the perfect fit — but everything he touched tarnished and everything you touched turned to gold dust. He’s hidden behind an illusion all his life, but he knows for a fact that you’re meant to go above and beyond every expectation that’s ever been set for you.
Who is he to get in the way of that?
(He’s sure the only thing that’s setting you back is him. It has always been him. It’s only a matter of time before you realize it, too).
“I love you,” he confesses suddenly, startling you to your core. “And I’m so sorry.”
You look at him warily. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I fucked up,” he says.
“Yeah, you did.”
“But…” he trails off. When your eyes meet, something ignites inside of you.
(You have always known him better than any of them ever could).
“Mingyu—”
“Maybe it’s for the best if we—”
“Mingyu.”
He closes his eyes and hopes it’s enough to push the tears back. “I love you,” he says again, but his lips are quivering, and a sob threatens to escape the confines of his throat. “I love you so much that it physically hurt to do that to you, but it was for the better—”
Disbelief engulfs you in an instant, and you take a spontaneous step towards him in your surprise. “You’re not making a lot of sense right now,” you say, frantic, “I’m still really fucking mad at you, but we can talk this out, because I have no idea what you’re—”
“Just listen to me, Y/N, I don’t think—”
“You listen to me, because—”
“You deserve so much better than this, don’t you know that?” he snaps, shrinking into himself seconds later. His voice shakes with frustration. This hurts him beyond your imagination, but he’d do anything for you, even if it ends with him sporting wounds that will never heal. “And I’m holding you back, and I— I can’t do that to you. Not anymore.”
A sob melts into your words before you can stop it. “So you think the best way to fix that is to move across the country?”
“There were better ways to go about it,” he admits. “Ways that wouldn’t have ended like this, but I stand by what I said, Y/N.”
“Don’t do this, Mingyu. You don’t get to—” you stutter, inhaling hastily to regain your composure before looking him through your teary vision, “—you don’t get to break up with me over something as stupid as this.”
“I don’t deserve you,” he says it like a mantra, like it’s engraved into his brain and there’s no use trying to rid him of it.
“You don’t get to decide that!” you exclaim. “And even if that was true, it doesn’t matter to me. We love each other, Mingyu, isn’t that enough?”
You go to cup his face. This time, it’s he who takes a step back, and his heart screeches in pain at the sight of your crestfallen face.
“Maybe if I—” he runs a hand through his hair and tugs at the strands, forcing himself to continue, “Maybe if I loved you less, I’d let myself be selfish. But that’s not the case. That’s never been the case.”
That day you do not leave the skatepark with a scrape on your knee or a new bruise on your shins. But you don’t leave unscathed, either.
Your heart has been ripped from your chest, and Kim Mingyu carries the remnants of it with him.
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Mingyu always liked people-watching.
He’d tell you it was nice to be on the other side of the microscope; to observe, not be observed. On the trips out of town, he’d sit anywhere that was bustling with people and make up stories about anyone who caught his eye: he’s cheating on his wife with his high school sweetheart, or she’s talking to her estranged cousin and she’s threatening to get a restraining order, or that little boy was meant to be a twin but he ate his sibling in the womb.
“That guy’s still in love with his ex-girlfriend even though they broke up a decade ago,” Mingyu says, subtly nodding towards a man supervising his child on the ramps.
The snort that escapes you dents the discomfort hanging in the air. “He reached out to her on Facebook, and it turns out she’s coming to visit.”
“They’re going to meet in the city. He told his wife he has work stuff.”
“His wife’s suspicious. She’s definitely hiring a PI.”
“But the PI sucks, he’s a fake and a scammer. He ends up tailing the wrong guy.”
“And the wife spent good money on him, too.”
“But she doesn’t really care since she paid the investigator using her husband’s money.”
“Good for her! It’s what he deserves for cheating.”
You smile, pressing your legs against your chest as you watch the kid soar through the park on her rollerskates. Her laughter’s loud, and you allow it to ring in your ears to momentarily distract yourself from Mingyu.
It’s overwhelming being here next to him. You’ve been here multiple times since you’ve come home, but the nostalgia and ache of watching him from afar does not compare to what you feel now that he’s by your side, sitting stiff on the park bench with his hands clasped in his lap. The dull throb in your chest becomes more prominent when he glances and catches your eye, hiding his yearning beneath a thin veil of indifference.
You turn away, and that’s enough for him to adorn the last bit of confidence he has. “Why’d you call me here?”
Resting your cheek against your knee, you murmur, “You know why I called you here.”
It does not matter that he’s known you almost as long as you’ve been alive — a room full of newborns would realize that he’s here because you want an explanation.
Closure really would be nice.
“Okay,” he breathes. “Ask me anything.”
When you slipped out of your house this morning, full of anticipation, you thought that it’d be hard for you to find the words. But you’ve stuffed the curiosity down your throat long enough. For years, all you could feel was a weight on your esophagus; the air you’ve been inhaling and expelling is nothing if not tainted with heartbreak, and you crave the feeling of fresh air again — something that’s free from the insecurities and the anguish and everything in between.
“Back then, did you tell Minghao we fought?” you ask. “Because he seems to think that we did. Every time he called me that’s all he would ask. Have you and Mingyu stopped fighting?”
He tilts his head. “Would you not say that was a fight?”
“Well, no,” you reply. “You just ended it, and I was trying to get you not to.”
Mingyu flinches but he’s quick to recover. “Nothing could’ve changed my mind back then.”
“Why?” you demand, unable to hide your despair.
Mingyu finally looks at you without tearing his gaze away. He’s exhausted, and you aren’t sure if it’s because of how early it is or if he’s just as drained from all of this as you are. The limbo between forgiveness and disdain was never made for the weak.
“Listen, I—”
“You told me you didn’t deserve me,” you say, “You don’t get to decide that.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, “I thought I could’ve been enough for you — I tried to be. But you always had everything planned out and I didn’t, I was living with a façade and you weren’t, and I— I just couldn’t do it anymore.”
Clenching your jaw, you say, “So, you moved.”
“I loved you,” he says quickly before you have the chance to ask him otherwise. “That was never the problem. I was scared. I guess part of me wanted to let go while you still thought I was worth it.”
“Don’t say that, Mingyu.”
“I know, I know,” he replies. “I’m working on the self-worth. It’s hard to come by.”
It hits you then, like you’re standing in the ocean as a large wave of water looms over your figure. You used to watch as everyone fawned over Mingyu as if he was untouchable, a divinity amongst men. You used to watch and lust for the days where you would turn out to be exactly the person he deserved to love.
But while Mingyu ached to be the person everyone made him out to be, you saw past your own desires and those who desired him. Through all that was carefully crafted, you saw him for who he truly was.
And you loved every inch of him. So much so that you’re convinced you’ll never be able to feel this way for anybody else.
“For what it’s worth,” you say, “back then, you were it for me. I would’ve loved you regardless.”
His gaze softens and, for a moment, sitting next to you is the same boy from all those years ago, who accepted your proposal for a date, who asked you to prom, who tattooed eight letters into your skin before slumber took you over.
“If we…” he begins carefully, “If I did things differently, do you think we could’ve made it?”
You shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe. I’d like to think that we would’ve,” you nudge his shoulder in hopes that being playful will lighten the mood. “But none of that matters. We’re here now, and we talked.”
“We talked,” he nods. “We used to be terrible at that.”
“Not the best at communication, sure,” you smile softly. “But at least we fixed it. Better late than never.”
He bites the inside of his cheek to stop his own smile from growing any larger. “Better late than never.”
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The sun envelopes you in a warm hug the moment you sit down, a companion in the serene summer’s day. Sand sticks to your skin, adhered to it by the sweat, clinging to you as if you’re its last hope to live.
The tranquility is interrupted by a screech, and you bet with closed eyes that it’s either Mingyu, who left a while back to get some ice cream and probably dropped it, or Chan, who decided to build a sandcastle close to the ocean despite the various protests he received in response.
You crack an eye open just as the water retreats from the shore. Chan stands before his unfinished monstrosity, staring in distress, while Vernon gives him a look as if to say I told you so.
From where he lies beside you, Seokmin announces, “If it makes you feel any better, it was a little ugly.”
“You said five minutes ago that it was good!”
“I was lying to you.”
“Yeah,” Seungkwan agrees, toeing the area where the castle once resided. “The moat was fucked up, too.”
“It was a moat.”
“And yet you fucked it up.”
Chan gives them an unsavoury gesture before instructing both Vernon and Seungkwan to help him make another. Reluctant but compliant, they take the pails you’d bought last minute at the dollar store and settle themselves farther away from the shore.
Seokmin salutes them for good luck before glancing at his phone. “Is Mingyu still at the boardwalk?"
Minghao hums. “Yeah, the line for ice cream’s probably long.”
“Okay, good,” Seokmin says before poking your shoulder aggressively, ignoring your complaints about how easily you bruise. “Gives me time to interrogate you.”
“Interrogate me?” you ask incredulously. “About what?”
He raises his hand, and you prepare yourself for the worst. It’s over for you the moment Seokmin begins listing things off his fingers. “You willingly sat in the backseat with Mingyu on the way here, you willingly talked to him for the entire car ride, and you willingly offered to go with him to get ice cream.”
“Hardly things to interrogate me over.”
“Hardly things to interrogate me over,” he mimics. “Don’t be ridiculous. Are you guys dating again?”
“What?”
“Ah. Have you two eloped?”
Minghao snorts as he opens the cap to his sunscreen. “Don’t be ridiculous. They’re just engaged.”
Seokmin places a hand on his chest. “Oh, thank goodness—”
“Are you guys insane?” you shriek, briefly scanning the beach in hopes nobody heard your friends’ remarks. “We just talked yesterday.”
“Oh,” Minghao muses, throwing the sunscreen over your head for Seokmin to catch. “And that’s it?”
“That’s it,” you confirm. “What else would there be?”
Minghao shrugs as he rubs the cream onto his arms. “Nothing, I guess.”
A noise escapes Seokmin’s throat, something akin to disagreement. You whip your head to face him as he raises his hands up in defence. “What is it?” you ask him.
“I just…” he waves his hand in the air with a small pout on his lips. “I’m confused, I guess. Everything’s resolved now? Just like that? We’re all friends again?”
“I wouldn’t say we’re friends,” you huff. “I don’t know what we are, either. But we have the rest of the summer to figure that out, so why the rush?”
Seokmin leans back on his elbows. “Well, whatever the two of you are, I’m glad you two talked, it was long overdue.”
Minghao nods in agreement.
From a few feet away, Seungkwan’s voice is loud amongst the waves crashing onto shore, the families relaxing under beach umbrellas, and the seagulls soaring through the sky. “Mingyu!” he exclaims in disbelief. “You didn’t drop any!”
You can’t catch a good glimpse of him without craning your neck, but his voice alone is enough to quicken your heartbeat. “Yeah, I know,” you hear him say, “I told you guys I’m not completely hopeless. Seven Drumsticks, all in perfect condition. Vernon, did you want the original flavour?”
It only takes a couple moments before he’s in your line of sight, standing in front of you with the sun’s blinding rays crowning his head like a halo. He grins, letting his sunglasses slip down his nose so you can see his eyes, and hands you a cone.
“Thanks,” you say.
His grin widens, just a little. “Don’t mention it. Hao, which one do you want?”
Once everyone’s finished their ice cream (and after a long debate that occurred due to Chan innocently asking for advice on what to do about his roommates back at his on-campus apartment), Seungkwan manages to find a beach volleyball court that’s unoccupied and persuades everyone to participate.
One set to ten points turns into the best out of three, and when your team begins to buckle under the pressure, Seungkwan suggests something with a sinister grin. “Losing team has to get buried under the sand and stay there for fifteen minutes.”
“Ten,” Seokmin negotiates.
“Twelve.”
“Five.”
Seungkwan squints. “You can’t go lower, that’s not how a negotiation works.”
“One person from the losing team gets buried under the sand for ten minutes and has to pay for dinner,” Chan says.
Seungkwan snaps his fingers before pointing to him. “Deal.”
It all ends, as expected, with Seungkwan’s team victorious. The three boys on the other side of the net exchange high-fives before returning to you and your sullen teammates with cocky grins. Minghao urges all of you to play a game of rock, paper, scissors to decide the true loser of today, and though you feigned indifference when you fumbled the last ball, the mask speedily cracks when the last two people left is you and Mingyu.
(“A duel between lovers,” Chan sighs dramatically. Minghao pinches his side).
Your eyes meet his, and something flickers in his expression. Gone too quick for you to decipher, but something in the back of your mind tells you that you should know exactly what he’s about to do.
Seokmin booms, “Rock, paper, scissors!”
You ball your hand into a fist and Mingyu curls his fingers into his palm except for two.
“Scissors beats rock,” Vernon slaps him on the back sympathetically before pointing at the ground. “Get comfortable, dude.”
With the amount of eagerness your friends exhibit, Mingyu is buried in minutes, stiff under the copious warm dust he’s under. Seokmin, with sand sticking to his hands, ruffles Mingyu’s hair and laughs when the latter crinkles his nose in disgust. Taking his sunglasses from his bag, you place them on the bridge of nose and brush off anything that got on his face.
“Thank you,” he says.
“Don’t mention it,” you echo. “I’m sure you’ll have fun here.”
He kisses his teeth in annoyance. “Oh, I bet. Once I get out of here, I’m gonna have tan lines on my collarbone.”
You smile. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I can stay here with you.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Really?”
“You’re here for ten minutes by yourself and the reason we lost is because of me,” you say, wincing at the memory of Seokmin and Chan shouting for you to retrieve the ball despite it being too far away for you to save. “It’s the least I could do.”
“Maybe,” he murmurs. “Since I let you win rock, paper, scissors.”
You blink at him. “I’m sorry?”
“You always choose rock.”
“What? Then why’d you choose scissors?”
Mingyu attempts to shrug and scowls when he can’t.
You flick his forehead. “You didn’t have to do that for me.”
“I wanted to.”
“Of course,” you snicker. “And how are you finding it underneath all that sand?”
He doesn’t even bother to pretend to be nonchalant. “Oh, it’s the worst. It’s slightly better with you here, though.”
You turn to look at the sea. “You can’t just say stuff like that.”
“Why not?” he pouts. “I thought we were going to tell each other stuff from now on. You know, communicate better.”
“Well, still.”
“I’m just saying what I’m thinking!”
“You’re ridiculous.”
He laughs, loud and boisterous and it heals something in your very being. There’s a mirth in his eyes you haven’t seen in a long time, and you yearn to hear it again. Mingyu has always been beautiful, but he’s even more so when he’s happy, a boy so golden he could rival the sun and the stars in its beauty.
And he would win, you think.
(What you don’t know is that Mingyu thinks the same of you. Many things have changed, but one thing that never will is how much you shine. The sky and all its confidants, try as they might, would never rid you of your luster. To him, they’ll never prevail).
“Why are you looking at me like that?” you question.
He smiles. “No reason.”
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Considering the fact that you spent a good part of your childhood running around the mall and giving into the urge of buying things you’ll never need, it’s a surprise that you forgot just how busy it gets during the summer.
(“Wow,” Mingyu had said. “You avoid me and this town for three years and suddenly you forget everything about it?”)
(He, along with everyone you’ve grown up with, will never let you live this down).
It’s a miracle the four of you even found somewhere to sit in the food court — a booth, no less. Part of you wonders if Seokmin sweet-talked a family into giving up this table for him, and you feel only a sliver of pity for whoever has to eat in an area that’s affected by the vibrant rays of the sun.
Once Minghao and Seokmin have returned from buying their food, they send you and Mingyu off to get your lunch with the promise that they’ll wait for you both before they start eating. Mingyu walks ahead, careful not to trip over anyone as he observes the signs of each food joint you pass, and glances over his shoulder to make sure you haven’t gotten lost in the crowd amid his indecision.
“What are you getting?” he asks once the two of you can hear each other above the many mallgoers.
“Don’t know. Pad Thai, maybe.”
“Nice. I was thinking getting a burger at Burger King, but…” he gestures towards the long line and winces. “I don’t have the patience for that.”
“So?”
“So, what?”
“What are you going to eat then?”
“Oh,” Mingyu frowns before shrugging nonchalantly. “Pad Thai it is, then. I think that has the shortest line.”
“Really? When we passed by KFC it didn’t look too bad—”
Mingyu turns, pointing to the Thai place across from you. “Pad Thai! Let’s go before the line gets any longer,” he proclaims, wrapping a hand around your elbow and gently tugging you towards the smell of stir-fry.
It’s easy to fall back into rhythm with Mingyu — so much so that it scares you, just a little. While you assumed it wouldn’t have been too weird once the barrier of the old relationship was removed, you hadn’t thought it would’ve been this comfortable. You assumed everything would be stilted for a short period before the puzzle pieces returned to their places, but this was unpredictable. This is familiar (everything with Mingyu always is); more familiar than riding a bike, or the scar on your knee, or your mom’s tendency to hover over you now that you’ve returned.
His skin against yours all while offering to lend you his jacket and pay for your food could be seen as simple acts of friendship — and if it were anybody else, you would agree, but your ties with each other, since the beginning of time, have regularly toed the line of romantic. It is a fact you cannot deny, and trying to do so would be like saying the sky is green or oxygen isn’t a requirement for survival.
The void in your chest used to be in the shape of him — freshly eighteen and brought down by his expectations along with everybody else’s — and you have tried other remedies to heal it: avoidance, sinking into other people’s sheets, tossing every physical memory you have of him in a box that you never ended up donating.
Who knew that the void would be filled by the same boy who caused it? Only this time, he’s standing in front of you, a little taller, sporting a different haircut, and learning how to live on his own terms.
“Fuck,” he says as he digs through his wallet. “I think I don’t have any cash to pay with. Man, I really didn’t want to use my credit card today.”
“It’s fine,” you say. “I’ll pay. You already gave me your jacket even though I said you didn’t have to.”
“You were cold,” he argues. “If you didn’t want me to give it to you, then maybe don’t get cold next time.”
You scoff. “Well, tell whoever’s managing the A/C to turn it down. It’s like stepping into a freezer in here.”
Mingyu mutters — something along the lines of so dramatic — before he shifts the position of his open wallet in his hands and continues digging for bills that aren’t there. What is there, however, is a photo all too familiar.
You place a hand on his wrist to stop him from moving. “Hey, is that a picture of me?”
Mingyu freezes. Then, he pulls away from your grip. “No.”
“Okay. Then who was it?”
You stare at each other for a beat too long, interrupted by someone asking if you can move up the line, and it’s only then that Mingyu turns away, bashful, and murmuring, “Okay, fine. It’s you.”
You try not to let the giddiness get to you. “And why, exactly, do you have a picture of me in there?”
“It’s not just you,” he lies. “Minghao and Seokmin are also in there.”
“No, I don’t think so,” you reply matter-of-factly. “I got a good glimpse, and I think it was just me.”
He tuts. “Believe what you want to believe.”
“I’m choosing to believe the truth.”
He sulks, taking another step towards the register. “You’re finding this too funny for my liking.”
“I’m not! I think it’s cute,” you object. “Why is it in there in the first place?”
“Maybe I just wanted to put it in there, it’s a good photo!”
“Of course.”
“You’re photogenic,” he adds. “Besides, what’s wrong with keeping a photo of my friend in my wallet?”
The question escapes you before you can think twice. “Is that what we are?”
Mingyu quietens, uncertain. Then, after rapidly fighting an internal battle, he says, “Before everything else, you’re my best friend.”
You nod because that’s the case for you, too. “But?”
His digs his teeth into his bottom lip before he opens his mouth, the answer on the tip of his tongue.
“I—”
“Next, please!”
Mingyu flinches, but it only takes a glance at the long line behind him before he’s grabbing his credit card. “C’mon,” he interlocks his pinky with yours. “Order what you want, it’s on me.”
“Mingyu—”
He gives you a smile. “It’s fine,” he assures quietly. “I want to.”
(In his wallet is a candid polaroid — a person on the beach, laughing at a joke made by someone who hasn’t been photographed. The picture has no crinkles, either because it’s deeply cherished or because it’s new — maybe both is the case.
It replaces an older photo, one that’s years old, taken while he was in high school of the same person. Still candid, still radiant, still laughing. He’s treasured it for years, but he decides it’s time to relocate it. Maybe when he gets back to his apartment, he’ll put it on his fridge. It was looking a little empty, anyway).
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Mingyu doesn’t particularly like it here. It brings up old feelings he’s working to retire as well as a medley of insecurities and unease.
But he would be lying if he said that the bad was the only thing this town has to offer.
The skatepark brings comfort, a corner of the world where freedom comes from touching the sky in the seconds his board lifts from the ground, a playground of cement and ramps and splintered benches found under trees that have been alive far longer than he has. It comes from his friends’ homes; Seungkwan’s spacious backyard and Seokmin’s living room where drink rings litter the coffee table as a consequence of never using the coasters.
It comes from the people. It comes from his family, who hugs him tight and listens to every concern he has under the sun. It comes from his friends, a group of rambunctious people who he has too many inside jokes with, and who drag him into shenanigans he has no option of backing out of.
It comes from you. Comfort always comes from you.
From where he stands in the corner, he watches you scour the karaoke song book, protesting all of Chan’s suggestions before entering a number onto the TV. Then you squint at the lyrics on the screen before you begin singing.
The others in the living room are in awe, captivated despite your inability to hold a note. Your gleeful smile makes up for what you lack in the singing department, and Mingyu supposes he’s no different than everybody else when you meet his eyes in the crowd and his palms begin to sweat. You hold his gaze for far too long, causing you to lose your spot in the song, and you sheepishly turn away before trying to make up for your mistakes.
He stays until the end, the loudest to clap despite your score being nothing exciting (it’s exciting to him, and that’s all that matters), and raises his hand in greeting with a silent promise to see you later when you’re pulled into a conversation with someone you used to play badminton with.
He ducks into the kitchen before he’s forced to engage in more small talk with another person. His footsteps quicken along with his growing desire to grab another beer, hidden behind the soda cans Seungkwan shoved inside for the party.
(Mingyu doesn’t entirely know what or who this party is for. He only recalls the texts between him and Minghao three days prior:
hao 👨‍🎨 > party at seungkwan’s on saturday
mingyu > not coming
hao 👨‍🎨 > 😐 ok ur loss > y/n is tho
mingyu > … i’ll bring my mom’s brownies).
Mingyu opens the can the moment it’s in his hands, relishing in the temporary sound of fizzing before taking a sip. The only straggler in the kitchen is him; everyone gathered in the living room the moment Seungkwan turned the karaoke machine on. He situates himself so he can see just through the threshold, keeping an eye out for the moment you’re free so he can pull you aside to talk.
About what, he doesn’t know. Winging it has always been his thing.
“Yo, Mingyu,” Seokmin greets as he makes his way to the fridge. “What are you doing in here?”
“Hiding.”
“It’s nice to know some things haven’t changed,” Seokmin quips, digging through the variety of drinks, “you’re still a loser.”
“You love me.”
“Oh, of course, that was never in question. It doesn’t change the fact that you’re a loser.”
Mingyu rolls his eyes. “I hate you.”
“Uh-huh.”
“What are you looking for?”
“Sprite for me, beer for Vernon.” He stands to his full height and cranes his neck to look at Mingyu around the fridge door. “Was that the last of it?”
“I think so, yeah.”
Seokmin doesn’t look that defeated when he grabs two cans of Sprite. “Maybe that’s for the best. He’s drunk enough as it is.” Off Mingyu’s confusion, Seokmin adds, “I know, he never gets wasted, but he’s on the waitlist for a screenwriting class, so he’s upset beyond repair.”
“And he’s always saying everyone else is more dramatic than he is.”
“Right? He’s only second on the waitlist, too.”
Mingyu laughs but his eyes involuntarily flicker back to the door to see if you’re still talking to other people. He frowns when he notices you’ve disappeared from where he spotted you last, and he debates taking out his phone and texting you to ask where you are.
Seokmin kisses his teeth. “Are you sure you want to stay in here by yourself? Y/N probably wants to talk to you.”
“They’re talking to other people. I’m fine waiting it out.”
Seokmin looks like he’s going to oppose Mingyu’s decisions, but he opts for shrugging instead. “Alright, if you say so. Don’t wait too long, though.”
“I won’t,” Mingyu promises. Seokmin begins his trek back to the living room, one soda dangling from each hand, when Mingyu suddenly calls out, “Hey, wait.”
Seokmin falters awkwardly in his step before turning around with furrowed eyebrows. “Yeah?”
“I, uh,” Mingyu rubs his neck, wincing. “I don’t think I ever apologized.”
The confusion on Seokmin’s face is wiped away to be replaced with triumph. He points an accusatory finger at his friend while his voice echoes in the four walls of the Boo kitchen. “I knew it! You did steal my beanie, you liar, the next time I visit you, I’m taking it back, and it better be in good condition! I can’t believe you took it with you across the country, that’s so fucked up—”
“Huh? No, what?” Mingyu says in disbelief. “For the last time, I didn’t steal your beanie—”
“Okay, sure, then who was it, then?”
“I don’t know!”
“Then what are you apologizing for?”
“For not listening to you!” Mingyu exclaims. “Back then, you told me to tell Y/N the truth and I didn’t listen when I should have. If I did, you and Hao wouldn’t have been put in the middle of everything.”
“Oh,” Seokmin makes a face and waves him off. “Don’t worry about it.”
“But—”
“You made a mistake. A stupid one, yeah, and I’m probably never going to let you live it down, but,” he smiles gently, “we’re okay now. Just focus on what you’ll do about… you know.”
“…What?”
“You know,” Seokmin parrots. “Y/N. I mean, you still love them, don’t you?”
Without hesitation, Mingyu responds, “Well, no fucking shit.”
Seokmin makes a noise of satisfaction before turning on his heel. Over his shoulder, he singsongs, “Don’t fuck anything up!”
Mingyu scoffs. “I won’t!”
With each passing minute, the night gets livelier, and Mingyu ends up re-entering the living room and talking to other people despite his internal insistence not to. It keeps him busy, momentarily distracting him from the way his heartrate spikes at the thought of speaking to you tonight.
In the middle of his conversation with a former basketball teammate, a microphone ends up in his hands, and before he can blink, he’s pushed in front of the TV. It takes him a moment too long before he realizes that he’s been forced to sing a duet with you.
(Behind the couch, Minghao snorts at Seokmin’s devilish grin.
“I thought I told you to stay out of it.”
“I am!” Seokmin says, “I’m only giving them a slight push in the right direction!”)
The timer begins counting down.
Five.
“Just so you know,” you begin, “Seungkwan and Chan are going after us. We have to score as high as possible.”
Four.
“I don’t think we can manage that, to be honest.”
Three.
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re great at singing, so you can make up for how bad I am.”
Two.
“I don’t—”
One.
“Believe in yourself, Mingyu.”
You bring the microphone up to your lips and begin to sing, and he can only follow your movements.
It takes an unfathomable amount of willpower to stop himself from staring at you for the song’s entirety. He clenches his fist as he recites the lyrics, but when it gets to the bridge and it’s your turn to take the reins, Mingyu lets his guard down, his hand falling limply to his side as you laugh through your part.
He has never been an expert in love — few of the decisions he’s made in the name of it have seldom ended well — and when he was younger, the only thing he ever knew regarding it was you. Before, he thought that wouldn’t have been enough, that in order to be the person you deserved, he had to know more.
However, he’s older now, and things change with time.
You glance at him and the butterfly in his stomach rapidly flaps its wings.
(Other things don’t).
He doesn’t even know the song’s ended until arms wrap around his neck. He stumbles backwards before he forces himself to find his footing so he can properly return your excited hug. Mingyu pays no mind to the score flashing onscreen, nor the claps coming from everyone else; all he can smell is your shampoo, he feels your breath on his skin, and that is much more important than a karaoke score ever will be.
Seungkwan says, “That’s not even a good score.”
You loosen your grip around Mingyu so you can look at Seungkwan, and he immediately yearns for more. “Be quiet, this is the best I’ve gotten all night,” you retort. You turn to face Mingyu again, shaking him by the shoulders. “We did good! I told you to believe in yourself!”
Before he can reply, you’re pulled apart by Chan, who’s itching to take his turn. He rips the mics from his and your hands, and you slip from Mingyu’s fingers once again when Vernon asks you if you can help him look for another can of beer.
He exhales in defeat, accepts Chan shooing him away with grace, and slips outside.
He leans over the porch railing, staring at the watercolour sky, a mixture of pink and orange and yellow.
Mingyu hangs his head, wondering just how many more times you’ll get whisked away before he even has a chance to utter a word. He prefers smaller gatherings, because at least then he’d be able to talk to you with ease.
He’s not quite sure how many more times he’ll be able to stand by and watch you go before he loses his mind.
Behind him, the door slides open, and he assumes it’s Seokmin telling him to get a move on. But the footsteps sound different than his friend’s, and he immediately perks up when a familiar scent reaches his nose.
“Hey.”
Your frame enters his periphery, your university jacket hanging on your shoulders with the sleeves covering your hands.
Mingyu straightens. “Hi.”
You settle beside him, shoulder to shoulder, and Mingyu immediately relaxes. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” he says, “what makes you think I’m not?”
“You’ve been hiding from everyone since the night began,” you answer. “You don’t wanna be here, huh?”
“Of course I want to be here.” You raise an eyebrow at his lie. “Okay, fine, I don’t really want to be here.”
“Then why’d you come?”
“…I thought it would’ve been fun.”
“Really?” you snort. “Do you even know what this party is for?”
“Well… no.”
He expects you to roll your eyes, but instead you sigh in relief. “Okay, that makes me feel better, because I don’t either.”
“Well, I only came because Minghao told me you’d be coming,” he confesses.
You tilt your head in confusion. “I only came because Seokmin told me you’d be coming.”
He furrows his eyebrows and spares a glance through the glass doors at his friends. “…Huh.”
You huff, following his gaze. “I swear they always have their nose in our business.”
Mingyu looks back at you. “You have to admit, though, they’re pretty good at luring us into parties we don’t want to attend,” he smirks good-naturedly. “Who knew you still had a soft spot for me?”
Turning away from him, flustered, you grumble, “Shut up, don’t act like you didn’t come here because you wanted to see me.”
“I’m not!” he proclaims. “In fact, I’m pretty sure I make it pretty obvious that I like seeing you.”
“You’re so cheesy.”
“Only for you.”
You lightly punch his arm when the laughs that escape his lips grow louder. “I thought I told you that you can’t just say stuff like that.”
“Why not?” he hums. “I mean what I say, Y/N.”
“I’m not saying you don’t, it’s just…” you place your arms on the railing, leaning forward to avoid eye contact, “It’s confusing, that’s all.”
Mingyu faces you while you face away, watches how you stare at the setting sun instead of him, and his heart clenches. When you went your separate ways, he craved to be near you again, but even next to him, you still feel so far away.
(In hindsight, maybe he should’ve planned out how to go about this beforehand).
“You used to say stuff like that all the time,” you explain. “You know, before, uh—”
“Yeah,” he murmurs.
A million scenarios flash through his mind; different results depending on what he says next. He’s typically so good at saying the right thing — his words got him out of trouble and charmed his neighbours — but he’s found that his voice fails him whenever he needs it the most. When he tried to muster the courage to tell you about everything, he was never able to, and he gave into the false reassurances his mind offered that all would be alright in the end.
But none of that matters, you had said. We’re here now.
“You know what I never understood?” you ask.
“What?”
“You don’t like it here. Not a lot, anyway,” you start, “so why did you keep coming back?”
“Well, my family’s here, you know. So are our friends,” he gulps. “And I thought you would be, too.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” He nudges your elbow. “Can I ask you something?”
You chance a glance at him. “Sure, yeah.”
“What you said the other day,” he murmurs, unblinking, “about how I would’ve been it for you, has that changed?”
“Why are you asking?”
He bites the inside of his cheek as his cheeks begin to redden. “Do you really need me to say it?”
You frown. “Say what—?”
“I love you,” he blurts out. “And I know that might be kind of weird, since a lot’s changed since we last saw each other, but that’s the one thing I haven’t been able to shake. Not that— not that I ever wanted to— I just… I think it’s a part of me. Like I was born with it.”
You look at him, eyes glassy, unable to speak.
“But y’know what’s weirder?” he adds. “I’m pretty sure I’ll never get sick of it.”
It’s his turn to face away, turning towards the sun as you stare at the side of his face. The silence drenches the backyard like sudden, thunderous rainfall. For him, it’s unwelcome, and his eardrums echo with his confession.
He tries his best to hide his lovesickness, but the intensity of his longing prevents him from doing so. For the entire summer — perhaps for years, really — he’s been pushing it all down. He’s tired of it all. Of hiding, of pretending, of brushing off his esurient desire for you.
“It’s not weird,” you say, finally, saving him from his misery.
“Sorry?”
“You said it’s weird that you still love me,” you muse. “But I don’t think it is. It wouldn’t be fair of me to.”
His lips part. “What do you—?”
“Of course you’re it for me, Mingyu,” you tell him frustratedly. “You have been since the beginning of time. I don’t want you to go a day without believing it. I know what it’s like to live with you and to live without you, and I really prefer the first option.”
Mingyu’s pretty sure his brain short-circuits.
With quick movements, he inches closer to you, eyes flickering down to your lips before he asks, “Really?”
“What do you mean, really? Why would I—?”
“Can I kiss you?” he interrupts, slowly moving his hands closer to your face. “Please?”
He’s sure the longing in your eyes is wild enough to rival his.
(What an odd turn of events, is it not? Despite being on opposite sides of the country, you used to believe there weren’t enough miles between you and Mingyu for you to heal properly. But now, with his lips hovering over yours, you’re beginning to think that he is not close enough).
You take his face into your hands, and you kiss him.
Mingyu stumbles, surprised by your fervor, but matches it with ease. His hands move from your face to your waist, pulling you flush against him as he moves to have his back against the railing. Your fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck, and he surprises himself with a moan at just how much he’s missed it — your hands pulling at his locks, his lips against yours.
He used to pray for this.
When you pull away to catch your breath, he chases you, too dazed to acknowledge your amused mien. You go to peck his lips to soothe him, but he makes sure to hold you against him, his hunger far from satiated.
He stops himself for a moment, breath hot on your skin. “Do you wanna get out of here?”
You smile against his mouth. “I think that’s the best idea you’ve had all night.”
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“I feel like you’ve been faking it.”
“I have not.”
“You definitely have. Skateboarding isn’t that hard.”
Mingyu throws his arm around you in defence. “Hey, give them a break, Minghao.”
“Yeah!” Seokmin pipes up, “Y/N was just terrible at it because they can’t balance at all.”
“You know,” you grunt, crossing your arms, “I thought you guys would be proud of me for finally managing to skate across the park without actually falling.”
“I’m proud of you,” Mingyu says, pecking the side of your head. “And I think that’s all that matters.”
“Thank you, I can always count on you having my back,” you say, leaning further into him and pointedly glaring at the other two boys in front of you.
Seokmin waves you off. “Hey, I think this might be the first time ever you didn’t get injured at the skatepark.”
You go to protest before frowning. “…I think you’re right, actually. That’s so weird.”
Minghao snorts. “Maybe we should teach you some tricks then.”
You glance at Mingyu, and he seems to really be considering it. “Oh, absolutely not. Are you trying to kill me?”
“I’ll teach you the easy ones!” Mingyu begins, standing in front of you so he’s all you see. He places his hands on your shoulders and squeezes them in reassurance. “You’re already a pro at just skating around, so this should be a piece of cake!”
“Mingyu,” you whine.
“Please,” he matches your tone. “I like teaching you stuff! It’ll be fun!” he lets go of your shoulders and rolls the board so it’s by your feet and offers you his hand as if you’ll need help getting on. “I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
Your wariness is squashed the moment he flashes you a soothing smile.
You sigh. “You promise?”
He crosses his heart. “With everything that I have.”
Without a second thought, you place your hand in his.
He squeezes it immediately in a silent vow:
I’ll be here to catch you if you fall.
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© dkfile, 2023. do not translate or copy my works.
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gatorbites-imagines · 1 month ago
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Kinktober day 1
Kakashi Hatake + Body and Cock worship
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Happy first day of kinktober everybody!
I don’t really know the full timeline of Naruto, so this just takes place sometime before Kakashi became Hokage, so he could still take anbu missions. Readers a jonin, and has served in the Anbu, but doesn’t anymore. Reader used to be Anbu Leopard.
this is not proofread, enjoy anyways.
Kinktober 2024 masterlist
It was late, and you were meant to be asleep. That of course didn’t mean you were. As a jonin, and former anbu, sleep didn’t come easy. You weren’t from a clan, which had made the climb to your status extra hard and had left you jagged and sharp edged towards the world around you. As a civilian, the Shinobi world was difficult. Not just because there were less to seek revenge when you died, but also because most of the clans ran everything. And even if they didn’t mean too, then they still looked down on civilians. It was why you had quite a soft spot for Kakashi’s student, Sakura.
You had been doing nothing much, simply sitting in your kitchen staring down at a formerly hot mug of tea. You didn’t even like this kind, but Kakashi did, and had stuffed way too much of it into your cupboards for when he visited. With a sigh you were about to stand up to pour it down the sink, when the smallest amount of chakra tickled in the back of your senses.
You may have been shirtless, but that didn’t leave you defenseless. The seals on the inner sides of each wrist flickered, and your beloved tekko kagi weighed comfortably around your hands, chakra adding speed and precision to your strike. It was only registered last moment what mask you were staring back at, Kakashi’s stupid hound mask.
The claws of your tekko kagi slammed into the wall, merely centimeters apart from your lovers masked face, leaving deep gouges in the wall. You were so making him pay for that, even if hed whine about it. “Kaka-“ you growled out, only for his glowed finger to press against your lips, making your brows furrow in annoyance. So, this was his game, huh?
Both of your hands were against the wall, caging your partner in, one hand buried into the wood by the claws of your favored weapon, as the other simply rested against it. Back in the day you had wanted to be different, to stand out from the clan members that surrounded you, so the tekko kagi became yours. It had led to quite a few teasing comments from more than just Kakashi when you became Anbu Leopard.
You squinted at him, and his teasing mirthful eyes could be felt even if you couldn’t so them. Kakashi’s hands both placed on your shoulders, slowly sliding down, drawing a pathway across the myriad of scars that littered your body. All shinobi had them, some more than others, and some came from training themselves bloody. Something you were quite guilty of, even nowadays.
The noise that left your chest could almost have been called a growl, or maybe more akin to the annoyed grumble of a big feline getting chewed on by some bumbling hound who’d decided they were friends. But you could never turn down the image of Kakashi sliding to his knees in front of you, making you lean your head against the wall so you could look down, truly caging him in.
There was more to his touches than just lust today, something more reverent and needy, like he needed to touch you to feel like himself. It had been a difficult mission then. It was something you recognized yourself. Some missions left you feeling less like a person and like you weren’t even in your own body, and you needed something to ground you. The self-inflicted crisscross of scars on your arms reminded you of what you used to do before you had Kakashi, back when you had yourself and only yourself. Of course, that was just what you believed, and now you know your comrades priced you just as much as the next. But old habits die hard.
All the thinking had distracted you long enough for you not to notice Kakashi sliding the casual pants you wore down, just enough to free the halfchub you had gained from seeing him down there. His mouth was warm and wet, like always, but there was something hungrier about the way he moved and suckled.
The hand not stuck in the wall reached down, a small flick of chakra sending your weapon back into its seal, carefully sliding into his silver hair. You couldn’t see his face, the mask had been pushed up so all you got to look at was the slow movements of your lovers’ head, and that painted porcelain face staring back at you.
Kakashi wasn’t pushing himself to get it going as quickly as possible like usual. He may seem all calm and laid back, but you knew how desperate he got when Kakashi was in the mood. The only thing keeping the Hatake from climbing you in public was sheer politeness, and some days you had a feeling even that was barely holding him back. You blamed those books of his. You had tried to read them once, planning to do a little roleplay for his birthday, but you couldn’t get into it. you still did it though, and Kakashi still brought I up when he was feeling extra needy.
The hand clenched into his hair, a shaky breath leaving you as you felt more than saw his mouth pop off your tip, just to lick down, following the veins down to your sack. You could feel his lips mouthing at you, tongue lapping at the skin he could find, the feeling of being not just licked but downright worshipped making your face red.
“K- Hound, what are you doing” you get out between gritted teeth, barely keeping yourself back from saying his name and using his title instead. Some days he just wanted to be Hound more than Kakashi, and who were you to judge.
Of course, he didn’t answer, as Anbu only spoke when absolutely necessary. Instead, his mouth just traveled further down, a jolt running down your spine as the tip of his tongue brushed against your taint of all placed. You almost wanted to slap him, because what the hell was that all of a sudden?
You caught yourself though, instead just wrenching his head back up by his hair, pulling him closer to your front again, where Kakashi thankfully wrapped his lips back around your shaft again. His bopping was more insistent now, like you giving him a nonverbal order got him into gear. A huff left you as you started rocking your hips, letting Kakashi do most of the work. You never really knew what to do when he got in these… almost worshipping moods. You didn’t feel like somebody worth worshipping, but Kakashi clearly did.
The heat gathering in your body was slow building, like a pot slowly heating up on low flame. When Kakashi got like this, he liked to go slow, to work you up before getting his price, as if he needed to prove himself worthy of getting. You would be happy to just fuck his face and get it over with, but Kakashi always got so nice and pliant afterwards and let you take care of him for once.
“Get ready” you grumble out, brows pinched together as you clench your eyes shut, teeth digging into the inside of your lips. Kakashi’s throat fluttered from what you knew was excitement, your silver haired lover burying his nose into your curls and humming, the first noise he had made all night.
You still wanted to smack him as your knees weakened, making you lean further against the wall as you spilled down his throat, Kakashi’s gulps just feeling like he was gloating. Past experience made you know Kakashi would stay like this all night if you let him, here on his knees against the wall with his mouth on you. That wasn’t good for him though, and of course you. The soft almost silent whine that came from him had you chuckling, pulling your lover to his feet, finally letting you see his slick mouth as his tongue flicked out to lick it clean.
You rolled your eyes with a smirk, ruffling up his hair even more than before. “Come on Hound, if your fast ill let you lick the water off my body” you rumble, turning around and wandering towards the shower. His footsteps were completely silent, as always, but the small flickers in the chakra told you he wanted to shake out of his skin. Sure, it was weird to see the mask in the shower, or in bed, but who were you to complain. You were definitely forcing him to have a selfcare day tomorrow though, no questions asked.
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emiquety · 1 month ago
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Kinktober Day 1 - Dry Humping
Teacher!Choso x Reader
summary: Choso had been getting hot and bothered all day, and you don't have enough time between your breaks to have intercourse, so he'll just have to settle.
warnings: 18+, MDNI please, cursing, classroom sex, dry humping, implied chubby reader, fem!reader, AFAB!reader, teacher!reader, risky sex, almost caught, dirty talk, and clothed sex.
Word Count: 1,726
Hope you enjoy!!!
"Choso, can you help me with something?" You asked walking into Choso's empty classroom. Choso was the math teacher in the room right next to yours, so it was almost natural the two of you became friends while working together. You would subtly flirt with him most days, finding him extremely handsome, and more recently he'd been reciprocating. It was currently lunch hour for your classes and you were trying to get your next assignment ready for tomorrow.
He lifts his tired eyes up from his own computer, a light blush across his cheeks as he clears his throat. "Yeah, what do you need?" He asked in his usual monotone voice. His hair was pulled back in a half up half down style, a cute messy bun at the back of his head, and strands framing his face every which way.
You smiled and walked towards his desk, standing next to his chair before taking a sit atop of the desk, thighs almost touching his computer. "I'm trying to post this assignment, but every time I reload my screen after posting- it goes back to being a draft." You explain as you sit your laptop open on your thighs and quickly login. You shift the laptop so he can see it clearer.
He lets out a soft hum and turns slightly in his chair, now facing you. His eyes couldn't help but linger on your thighs- how big they looked squished down when you sat. The black denim fabric complimenting the maroon colored top you wore. He clears his throat once again and leans closer to you, his eyes flitting up from your thigh to the screen.
Your eyes trail over his features, noting how pretty that scar always looked across his nose, the tired eyebags under his dark colored eyes, and how kissable his bruised lips looked.
He let out another hum and moved closer to you, typing away on your laptop as it remains on your thighs, his hands gliding over the keyboard effortlessly. After a few minutes he pulled back with a soft sigh.
"It should work now." he mumbled. You tilt your head and look down at the screen, a small smile playing on your lips. "Good boy, cho!" You said without thinking, reaching a hand out and ruffling his head. A soft almost unnoticeable whimper left his lips, the blush on his cheeks heavier than before. You hop off his desk and turn away from him, ready to head back to your own classroom. "I'll thank ya for it later!"
Suddenly his hands were on your waist, pulling you back against him, his body pressed up against your back as he lets out low grunts. "thank me for it now." He whimpers out, an almost pleading voice. Your eyes had gone wide as you tilted your head back to look up at him. He leaned down, face in the crook of your neck as he breathed in your scent deeply before exhaling with a slight whine.
Your mouth fell agape as you felt his hard and twitching cock against your back. "Ch-Choso!" You had gasped out. You had assumed after he started flirting back he felt the same about you- but you never expected the shy and quiet math teacher to be so bold.
He let out a groan and turned you to face his desk, one of his hands sliding up from your waist to grip your hair and tug your head to the side as his hips pressed you against his desk. "Need you," He growled into your ear, "please" His growl turned into a desperate whine as he begged. His hips were grinding against yours as he rubbed his clothed cock between the globes of your ass, breathy whimpers and grunts leaving his lips. "Please, baby!" He whined out again, his breath hitting your neck.
You deeply swallowed trying to find your voice once again. "Ch-Choso, there's not enough time!" You had managed to stutter out. Your thighs were squished against the edge of his desk, pushing into it as he grinds into you. "The students will be heading back in ten minutes!" I gasped out.
He groans and pushes your head down, forcing you to lay your upper half across his desk, chest pressed firmly against the top of it. You couldn't hold back the moan from passing your lips, the way he was manhandling you was turning you on beyond belief.
With one hand in your hair pushing your head down and the other holding your hips in place as he starts digging his clothed cock up and down against your clothed crotch. "I don't care!" He growled from above you, staring at your bent over frame. "Been thinking about you all day. How pretty you look! How good your ass looks in these stupid tight pants!" He's grunting out each thought as he rubs his aching cock against you. His hand from your waist let go and shot down against your ass, giving a loud 'clap' as his hand makes harsh contact with your denim covered skin. A yelped moan leaves your lips and your eyes widen. "Choso!" You moaned out, the pressure of his cock pushing against where you wanted him most and the firm smack he just gave you sending shocks of pleasure through your veins.
He lets out another groan and roughly pulls down your pants just under where your thighs start. His eyes narrowed at the sight of your purple laced panties, a growl escaping from the back of his throat. He slaps his hand back down on your right cheek, a red mark staining your ass from how hard he hit. You let out a whiny moan at the stinging sensation, your cheeks heating as you stare at the open classroom door.
With the same hand he used to pull your pants down he undoes his own pants and pulls out his throbbing member from his black boxers. He pushed his cock against your clothed entrance and pushed forward, causing his tip to slide downward and hit your cloth covered clit.
Your eyes widened and your mouth fell open as the unexpected stimulation draws out a moan. He was trusting against your clit, hand still in your hair- tugging it lightly, and soft grunts coming from his throat. "F-fuck-!" He whimpered out. Both of your breathing is heavy with pleasured moans mixing with each pant.
Each thrust against your clit drives you closer to your edge, the sensation of your hair getting pulled back adding to your pleasure. Every grunt escaping his lips felt like praise. "Ch-o-oso~!" You moaned out, your eyes never once leaving the open doorway of his classroom. "M-more~" The plea left your lips without you even really thinking about it.
His eyes narrowed and he quickened his pace, head now pounding about your clit. "Such a good girl." He growled out, his deep voice shaky. Your thighs clenched together, adding more pressure and resistance to his cock as he continued thrusting against your clothed pussy. He let out a shaky whine and lost his rhythm as his legs started shaking. "P-please let me c-cum~!" He whined in a desperate tone.
You nodded your head as best you could, giving him permission to tip over the edge of his orgasm. His head tilted back a his teeth dug into his lips and a muffled whine escaped his throat. He bucked his hips against yours a few more times until you felt warm liquid shooting against your clit. The throbbing of his head against your sensitive bud and the spurts of cum coating your panties was almost enough for you to cum as well. You couldn't help but let out moaned whines- wishing to orgasm as well. You were disappointed at the unsatisfying feeling of not cumming- until his tip started to rub and grind against your clit, the unexpected motion pushing a moan out of you.
He bent over and laid his top half against your back, his toned body pushing against you. "C'mon, baby. Come for me." He said in a whiny tone against your ear, softly kissing your neck. He continued rubbing his still throbbing cock against your sensitive bud, the pressure of your climax reaching it's tip once again.
You started to babble on as your hands pawed and clawed at his desk, trying to ground yourself as an orgasm starts to ripple through you. Your jaw hung slack, eyes dazed and unfocused, breath hitching, and body tensing as he continued to rub against your clit with his tip.
Suddenly the bell had rung, signaling lunch time was over and students would be coming back for class.
You let out a soft strained hum. thickly swallowing before pushing yourself up on your elbows. Choso lets out a sigh and kisses your neck one last time before pulling himself back, no longer laying on you. "I'm sorry- I should've p-pulled out before cumming! L-let me help you clean up." Choso begins stammering out his words as he reaches for a tissue. You look back to see his cheeks crossed with a blush, a smile taking place on your lips.
He quickly stands behind you again and wipes away his cum from your panties, gently stroking as you squirm from the pressure against your oversensitive bud. "Shhhh, it's ok." He whispers gently before throwing away the tissue and pulling up your pants. You let out a shaky breath and stand up straight, grabbing on to his bicep for support as he zips up his pants. "You ok?" He asks quietly.
You nod and lean against his desk and trace your fingers against your laptop. "It was great." You mutter as a heat prickles at your cheeks again.
Just then a pair of boys walked into the class, chattering as they walked towards their seats. You take a deep shaky breath before turning to face Choso. "Thanks for helping me." You said with a bashful smile. His eyes looked down at your face before he nodded, a small smile tugging on his lips.
More students filtered through the class and he let out a soft sigh. "I'll meet you... after school?" He says in a questioning tone, his hopeful eyes looking into yours. You nod and place a hand on his bicep. "I'll be in my room."
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Alright chat, I hope day 1 was good! Tips on writing are always appreciated! Slowly catching up with my prompts so I should be getting Day 2 out by the end of the night as well. Let me know what you thought!!!
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angel-sweets666 · 5 months ago
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Cast me spell
Barbarian bakugo x witch afab reader
warning : smut
part 2
read part one here first before reading this, then it will make more sense
a/n I’ve heard your prayers and I’m writing part 2 bc I’ve been asked to. I genuinely didn’t think this fanfiction would actually be good to read bc I don’t think I’m a good writer but some people like it and I’m going to try and get better. I downloaded grammarly so I could get better at writing for you guys
You slept well that night, cradled in the arms of a certain blonde barbarian. Bakugo kept you safe as you lay on his chest, his hand tangled in your hair. You whined softly and buried your face into his broad chest, his skin scattered with scars. Carefully, you traced the marks with your fingers. "Can I try something?" you asked softly, looking up at him with big doe eyes. "Yeah, go ahead, darlin'," he replied groggily, his voice raspy and deep. Your index finger began to glow as you pressed it against a scar that stretched across his chest. Suddenly, the scar began to glow around the edges and slowly closed up, starting from the left side and moving to the right. Bakugo watched in awe. Witches could do magical things, but he didn’t think they could do this! He looked down at his chest, then back up at you. "How did you do that?" he asked, puzzled. You snickered and placed your head back down on his chest. "Magic…" you murmured.
Bakugo accepted your answer and stared up at the ceiling. The silence was comforting, not awkward at all. He rubbed your back soothingly, occasionally tugging softly at the ends of your hair. He smiled down at you and kissed your forehead. "So… will you take me up on my proposal?" he asked.
"Didn't I already answer that?" you replied.
"I want an answer when you're not all sexed up, a sober answer," he said, his voice serious.
"Oh… then… yes, I will marry you." It felt like a big step to be honest, but to him, this was completely normal. It was a part of his culture. Perhaps it was strange, but this was what he knew. Maybe you could understand him better if you did this? You reached up to play with a lock of his blonde hair. It was soft, but it was clear he didn’t take great care of it as you picked pieces of dirt from it, probably from all his time at war and hunting.
"You will…?" he asked, needing to be sure.
"Yes, I will." His face lit up and he grabbed your waist, suddenly standing and spinning you around. You squealed in excitement, wrapping your arms around him for security. He slowly placed you back on your feet. "Sorry…" he murmured.
Many preparations were made for the wedding of the future chief. After this marriage, Bakugo's parents could step down, allowing Bakugo to step up. Becoming the chief was a big deal to him since it was all he was expected to be; it was what he was raised to be. Knowing that it was so close was… scary to him. He would have many responsibilities, and so would you. He was expected to be strong for his tribe, to protect them and keep them in line. You were expected to cast spells for the tribe because you're a witch, in addition to fulfilling the usual expectations of a spouse to a chief.
The day of the wedding arrived with the tribe bustling with excitement and activity. The air was filled with the sound of drums and chanting, a rhythmic melody that echoed through the forest. Colorful banners and decorations made from woven fabrics and wildflowers adorned the central clearing where the ceremony would take place.
As the sun began to set, casting a warm golden glow over the area , you stood at the edge of the clearing, dressed in a traditional gown made from soft, flowing materials and adorned with intricate beadwork and feathers. , your fingers tingling with the familiar hum of your magic.
Bakugo stood at the center of the clearing, dressed in ceremonial garb that highlighted his powerful physique. His eyes met yours, and for a moment, the world around you seemed to fade away, he looked angry most days however his gaze held a softness meant only for you.
The tribe’s shaman, an elderly woman with wise eyes and a staff decorated with charms and bones, began the ceremony. She spoke in the ancient language of the tribe. As she chanted, the flames of the central bonfire danced higher, casting flickering shadows around the clearing.
You stepped forward, guided by a gentle push from the shaman’s assistant. Bakugo extended his hand, and you took it, feeling the rough calluses of a warrior against your soft skin. Together, you walked to the center, where the shaman held a bowl filled with sacred herbs and oils.
With a nod from the shaman, you and Bakugo knelt before the fire. She anointed your foreheads with the oils, muttering incantations . The flames flaring brightly and then settling into a steady, calming glow.
Next, she handed you a small, intricately carved knife. With steady hands, you made a small cut on Bakugo’s palm, and he did the same to yours. You pressed your palms together, allowing your blood to mingle—a symbol of your unity and shared strength. The shaman wrapped your hands in a strip of cloth, binding the wound and sealing your bond.
As the final words of the ceremony were spoken, the tribe erupted in cheers. Bakugo leaned in and pressed a fierce, tender kiss to your lips, sealing your union. For the rest of the evening, the tribe feasted and danced, sharing stories and laughter under the starlit sky. You and Bakugo remained close, his arm wrapped protectively around your waist.
you showed the tribe witch craft, potion making and doing spells, but the night of the wedding was mostly partying and drinking, youyou and bakugo stayed sober however. You two spent most that time dancing and leaning on each other, cuddling and kissing. Even after knowing each other for such a short time you seemed to be happily in love. The night was over before you knew it and you two were walking back to your hut, he couldn’t keep his hands off you the whole walk there. His hands groping you, your face turning pinker with each grab and caress. The moment you were inside of your tent and in your own space he picked you up by the under arm and threw you on the bed “why are you so pink? This is was spouses do on their wedding night~” he leaned down and kissed your neck, you whimpered and grabbed his hair. The space between your legs feeling a familiar warmth or… wetness..? He grabbed your thighs and massaged them with each kiss and suck of your neck, he left purple hickeys all around the side of your neck. He reached down between your legs “already so wet huh..?” He slowly got down on his knees, sitting himself right between your legs “want me to keep going..?” He asked “mhm…” you nodded, giving him consent. Bakugo pulled you by your hips towards his face, licking your clit softly. You moaned and grabbed the bed sheets under you, he managed to slip his tongue inside which only intensified the feeling. Bakugo used his hands to keep your legs apart, the buldge in his pants getting larger and larger. He began to get impatient and stood up, pulling away from your pussy “hey… why’d you stop..?” You whines before he slipped a finger inside “wanna… be inside you” he grumbled, you moaned softly at the finger wiggling inside of you “is that good…?” Bakugo cooed to you “mmmph.. nghh.. y-yea…” you reached down and gripped his wrist. Feeling him slip a second finger into your hole, you held tightly onto his wrist. He slowly pulled his hand out and stuck his fingers in his mouth, tasting you on them. “Good girl, that’s a good girl.. tell me when it hurts” and before you know it, bakugo had the tip of his dick at your already wet hole and was slowly pushing inside, he groaned and laid his head on your chest. Gripping your thighs tighter with each inch that was sinking inside you, he bottomed out and he paused to catch his breath. Bakugo pulled out almost all the way before slamming back into your pussy, you moaned loudly and buried your face into his shoulder in a attempt to muffle out the loud noise of your voice, the huts don’t exactly drown out loud noise… he put his hands over your head for balance, the bed shook with each thrust and he was grunting lowly ontop of you “is that good…? That’s what I thought” he smirked and pet your hair “my wife..” he leaned down to kiss your head “ good girl..take it like a good girl” he pressed his forehead against yours as he continued his deep thrusts into you, the pleasure resulting in moans and grunts from you two. After what felt like hours of teasing and pleasure, the knot finally snapped. He buried his cock deeply inside you and then came. He panted softly, bringing you to his chest “you did so good, I’m so proud..”
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