#v good musician check her out

[luvsupa]

“YOU’RE A STAR!”

tags: musician!choso x manager fem!reader, reader has a secret fan account, both are in 20, choso has lots of tattoos and is an r&b singer, he has piercings, smut (p in v), ōral sex (f!recieving), sub!choso (ish), voyeurism, etc. mdni.

w.c: 3,2k

a/n: YALL I’m almost at 2k LIKE THATS INSANEEEE!! TY GUYS SOSOS MUCHHH AHHH

+ erm if there’s errors lmkk

you sit in choso’s expansive dressing room, surrounded by his makeup and fashion assistants, eyes glued to the big screen as he finishes his final song of the concrrt. the sound of thousands of screaming fans fills the air, their voices blending with his deep, angelic one. even from back here, you can hear the unmistakable roar of the crowd, hanging onto every note he sings. the way he commands the stage, the way he moves—everything about him makes your chest tighten.

he looks unreal tonight, his stylist outdid themselves. the subversive, edgy look suits him perfectly, especially the ripped wife-beater that showcases his inked arms, gleaming under the stage lights. the body glitter you suggested—yeah, that was definitely a good call- catches the light in all the right ways, making him look out of this world.

you’re supposed to be his manager, maintaining some form of professionalism, but damn, it’s impossible when he looks this good. especially when he runs his hand through those messy brown locks , letting a few strands fall over his face. you bite your lip, trying to focus on anything but the way your heart races when he’s on stage.

the thought of professionalism slips even further when you pull out your phone, dimming the brightness low. not for work—no, not tonight. instead, you open the app you use to connect with his fanbase under your secret username.

chogetsmewetter

it still makes you smirk every time you see it. his fans had been relentless, trying to bribe you for the username. but it’s yours, and you're not giving it up for anyone.

chogetsmewetter: are u guys seeing how good he looks… need him immediately

responses flood in almost instantly.

chososwhore: baby, nobody wants him more than i do…

choochoo: y’all send videos of the concert plzzz :(

kamosbaby: my baby daddy lookin good on stage.

you’re too caught up in scrolling through the candid photos and fan reactions, smiling like an idiot, when the makeup assistant catches you off guard.

“what’s got you smiling like that?” she teases, arms crossed and eyebrow raised.

you quickly shove your phone into your pocket, plastering on your best fake smile. “just checking cho’s schedule for next week. his brothers want to surprise him at the last show.”

it’s a lie, of course, but you’re used to spinning quick stories, and she just shrugs, moving on. but not without another jab. “girl, you love calling him cho, don’t you? does he let you call him that in bed too?”

your eyes widen as choso’s fashion designer giggles along with her. “guys, nothing’s going on. we’re strictly business—i manage his schedule, and that’s it.” but the words taste bitter, even as you force them out. nothing more. yeah, right.

the deafening cheers from the TV rescue you from any more teasing. all eyes turn to the screen as choso wraps up, thanking the crowd with that deep, velvet voice of his. the camera zooms in on his face, his lips curling into a soft smile as he waves and blows kisses to the adoring fans. gosh, he’s perfect.

a few moments later, the dressing room doors swing open, and there he is. choso, in the flesh, followed by his bodyguards. his team erupts in cheers, swarming him with praise, but you move to the back in the corner, blending into the background. moments like this are too chaotic for you, but you know you’ll have your moment later, probably on the tour bus.

amidst the chaos, his eyes find you, and he frowns a little when he sees you typing away on your phone, oblivious to the world. he doesn't know, of course, that you're replying to posts about him.

before you can finish your latest message, you feel him standing right in front of you, towering over you. the air feels thick between you two, and you curse internally as you slip your phone into your pocket once again, heart racing.

“you forgetting something?” his voice is low, teasing, as he glances down at your hands.

you quickly shake your head, trying to play it cool. “c’mon, cho, you know i’d never survive in that crowd,” you say, nodding toward the gaggle of team still dying for his attention.

his hands, cold from the stage, slide into yours, pulling you just a little closer. you swallow hard. “i knowww, but your support matters the most outta all of ‘em,” he says, rocking slightly, his lips curling into that perfect half-smile. the one that makes your stomach flip.

he smells incredible, the scent of his unreleased cologne wrapping around you, making your head spin. you smile, turning away, but he moves with you, trying to catch a glimpse of that smile.

“c’mon, let’s grab dinner. my director’s waiting,” he says, releasing your hands, and you instantly frown, missing his touch.

you follow him and his bodyguards out, offering a quick farewell to the makeup and fashion team. they don’t miss the chance to wink at you, clearly still enjoying the teasing.

as you near the exit, the noise outside grows louder—fans desperate to catch one last glimpse of choso. this is the part of the night you dread, knowing how insane the crowd can get. but when he looks over his shoulder and gives you that grin, the chaos doesn’t seem so bad.

two guards swing open the doors, harsh light flooding in as flashes from cameras blind you instantly. the screams grow deafening, and you brace yourself. this is always the worst part—being unable to see, disoriented, as the paparazzi go wild trying to capture every inch of choso’s presence.

but choso? he thrives in this. he’s in his element, beaming as he dives straight into the crowd. signing albums, posing for photos, accepting gifts—he eats it all up. you trail behind one of his bodyguards, eyes flickering to where he’s standing. your heart clenches as you catch sight of him—his lips locked with a fan.

you swallow hard. it’s not the first time. he always does this with her—his so-called “number one fan.” he remembers her face, her name, every single time. each time he kisses her in front of his adoring crowd, it feels like a punch to the gut. the fans love it. the media laps it up, turning her into a minor celebrity among his fandom.

how do you know? through your secret fan account.

you scoff quietly to yourself as you slip past the crowf, making it safely onto the tour bus. heading straight for the private area at the back, you drop your bag onto one of the leather couches, sinking into the seat by the window. from here, you can still see him outside, giving the fans hugs, taking endless photos. you watch in silence, jealousy simmering just beneath the surface.

finally, after what feels like forever, choso steps onto the bus, breathless and flushed. he walks down the aisle toward you, eyes gleaming with excitement.

“fuckkk, they’re amazing,” he groans, collapsing onto the couch beside you, still riding the high from the crowd.

they’re amazing? or she’s amazing…

you force a smile, eyes glued to your phone. “you looked like you were having fun, choso,” you mutter, distracted by your personal texts. his head drops back with a groan. one thing he can’t stand is when you don’t give him your full attention.

before he can start whining, one of the fashion designers calls your name from the front of the bus. you sigh, getting up quickly to see what the issue is. in your rush, you leave your phone behind on the couch.

choso watches as you walk away, eyes narrowing when he sees your phone lying there. you never leave it behind, always keeping it close, and curiosity gnaws at him. his leg bounces as he contemplates it. fuck it.

he snatches your phone up, eyes widening as the first thing he sees on your notification center is all he need to see.

[chogetsmewetter] new like from choochoo and 100+ others:

I need to fuck choso nowww, he’s so fuckin hot it’s not fairrr.

damn.

a slow, wicked grin spreads across his face. so that’s why you’ve been acting weird. he sets your phone back down just as he hears your footsteps returning.

you return, completely unaware of what just happened. “choso, they said we can’t leave until another hour—” you start to explain, but he’s not listening. his thoughts are elsewhere, his leg bouncing slightly as he bites the inside of his cheek.

“how do you want me to fuck you?” he suddenly blurts out, his voice low and dark.

your eyes widen, body stiffening as his bold words hit you like a train. you fumble for the curtain, pulling it shut so the driver can’t hear.

“w-what the fuck are you talking about?” you stammer, your breath catching in your throat. his dark brown eyes lock onto yours, unwavering. he doesn’t need to say it—his gaze tells you everything.

he knows.

panic rises inside you as you glance toward your phone and then back to him. he nods slowly, confirming your worst fear. he found out.

“so… are you those shy freaks…” he asks casually, standing up from the couch. his towering frame looms over you, and your world feels like it’s shrinking as he removes his leather jacket, revealing his tattooed, muscular arms.

“y-you wanna do this here? in front of the fans?” you whisper loudly, eyes darting toward the windows that are now covered by the blinds.

he chuckles, low and wicked. “you didn’t seem to care posting your dirty thoughts in front of me.”

and he ate with that one.

just like how he’s now devouring you in the back of the tour bus. you’re nestled on the couch, right in front of the curtains that separate the chaos outside from your little world. choso is on his knees, going at you like a possessed man. your legs are pushed tight against your chest as he laps up your juices, sucking and swallowing your sweet fluids. his cold nose piercing nudges your clit as his tongue thrusts deep inside you at an inhumane speed. any trace of shame has long evaporated, replaced by his loud moans vibrating against your cunt, making your eyes cross slightly.

your hands tangle in his silky brown locks, tugging gently, which earns you a whimper as he pulls back, your essence and saliva coating his chin and glossy lips. “mmm, p-pull on it more, pretty,” he urges, gazing up at you with doe eyes, brows furrowed in concentration as he loses himself in you once again.

obeying him, you tug harder on his hair, bucking your hips against his face while his hands grip the back of your thighs, pushing you deeper into your chest. he’s growling now, lost in the pleasure he’s giving you.

“yesss, f-fuck, you’re so goooddd,” you praise, head thrown back as he slurps at your juices like a starving man. he pulls away to admire your twitching hole, his fingers parting your folds wider. he spits a wad of saliva directly into your gaping pussy, making you clench instinctively as he slides in two thick digits, effortlessly gliding through your sloppy walls. his thrusts are calculated as he studies your features, which are now squeezed shut in bliss.

“hmm, she’s fuckin’ wettt,” he comments, your pussy responding with loud, squelching sounds that fill the back of the bus, echoing your mess. “hahh, you put that username to use,” he taunts, your body burning with embarrassment. his thick fingers pick up speed, massaging that sweet spot, and your back arches off the couch, your lower tummy tingling as your breath quickens.

choso can sense you’re close, the way you tighten around him. suddenly, he sucks hard on your clit, swirling his tongue around your poor nub. you cover your mouth with your hands, muffling the moans that threaten to escape .

just before you can cry out his name, he pulls his fingers out, leaving you undone. he retreats from your soaked clit, watching your translucent essence dribble down your convulsing hole, spilling onto the couch. your breath hitches as he delivers a sharp slap to your pussy, jolting electricity through your body, and the sticky remnants of your orgasm cling to his palm, igniting an insatiable addiction to your sensitivity.

“nahhh, is this the wettest you can get?” he says, rising from his knees and unzipping his jeans, pulling his throbbing cock free from its confines. your mind goes blank at the sight. fuck, he definitely never lied about his size, especially in his songs. choso sits beside you, manhandling you onto his lap, your pussy pressing against his hard cock as you whimper,

this is really happening.

“ride me, darling—use me all you want.” he states, and it feels like you’re living out your dirtiest dream, because yu are. he leaves trails of kisses along the side of your neck, his glossy lips—coated in your cum—smudging against your skin. you stare down at his shaft, his leaky tip begging to be touched. raising your hips, you grab the base of his cock, making him wince as you align his rosy tip with your drooling entrance. his crownhead stretches you open, and you whimper at how big he is with each inch you take. your velvety walls accommodate his size, practically expanding as he settles into your pussy.

without warning, choso grips your hips, slamming you down against him. you wail as every inch of his cock plunges deep inside your walls, and he moans at how tight you are around him. “f-fuck, baby, takin’ so fuckin’ l-long,” he says impatiently, thrusting up into you as each movement leaves you more dazed and breathless.

with newfound courage, your hips immediately fuck back into his, faster than his sloppy thrusts, making his eyes roll back in pleasure. your grinding drives him wild, your pussy gripping him like it’s life or death. choso’s head falls back, broken moans slipping past his lips, his adam’s apple bobbing as he struggles to hold back even more sounds of ecstasy.

you can feel the heat building between you, his cock stretching you further with each thrust. you grind down harder, relishing the way his body responds, each movement causing him to whimper and squirm beneath you. his hands grip your waist, guiding you, but you can tell he’s losing himself in the sensation, growing more ditzy with every upward thrust.

“c’mon, baby, ride me h-harder,” he begs, voice thick with desperation. his eyes fluttering as he’s moaning loudly. it’s intoxicating, watching him come undone because of you. you match your pace to the rhythm of his moans, your slickness coating him more with each thrust. the sound of your bodies slapping together drowns out the cheers of the fans outside, your pussy so noisy it’s almost too loud for your own liking.

“mmm, keep your eyes on me, pretty boy,” you purr, brushing your fingertips through his hair, tugging a big- earning a whimper at the pet name. you can see the way he bites his lip, trying to hold back more moans, but you know he won’t last long.

“hgn, you think jus’ cause you’re on top ‘m your bitch?” he groans, the tension between you two thcick. his gaze is wild, pupils dilated, and it only drives you further as you increase your pace, your hips slamming hard against his thighs, coating his throbbing base with your slickness. you giggle as he pathetically moans out, hands gripping your flesh tighter as you grind harder. his chubby tip sloppily kisses your cervix, sending shockwaves through your body as it begins to shake.

the way he reacts to every thrust, every grinding motion sends a thrill down your spine. he’s completely lost in you, his breathing ragged and unsteady. “y-you feel so good,” he stammers, voice breaking as he struggles to keep his focus, each word laced with pleasure. you smirk, feeling powerful, proud at the control you have over him.

“mhmm, ‘m starting to think y’er all talk, cho. you’re not showing me how you’d fuck me,” you taunt, leaning in his ear and tugging on his ear piercings, making him shudder at your seductive voice.

your words truly did something to him, awakening something much darker within. without hesitation, he carelessly picks you up, sliding his cock out of your hole as he slams you against the table adjacent to the couch. bending you over, he realigns himself with your hypnotizing cunt, the air thick with the heat of your lust. choso slams his entire length into your pussy, the sound of slickness echoing in the cramped space as your body squelches loudly, both of you moaning in unison. he grips your hips tightly, pounding mercilessly into you, each thrust sending shockwaves through your body as you cry out, not caring if the bus driver or any staff hears your cries of pleasure.

“cunt so good,” he growls, feeling you clamp down hard on his girthy length. his moan resonates deep within your core as he swats your ass, the sound of skin meeting skin sending electric jolts through you. he feels like he’s deep in your guts, rearranging everything inside you, each thrust making your pussy squelch obscenely. it’s so loud that it drowns out any sounds from outside, the wet slaps of your bodies merging into a symphony of lust. you’re practically squeaking like a damn mouse with every thrust, your body unable to contain the pleasure coursing through you.

without warning, he grips your hair and pulls you up against him, his mouth brushing against your ear as he whispers, “take it all, mama. you can take it.” his words send a shiver down your spine, the duality of his sweet yet dominating tone intensifying your arousal. you nod, feeling yourself surrender completely to him, wanting nothing more than to be his.

“m-more cho’ ,” you whine, and he responds with a primal growl, his hips slamming into yours harder, faster, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. his movements are relentless, each thrust a story to his desire, his need for you. you can feel the tension coiling tighter within you, the pressure building to a breaking point.

but then, in the midst of your euphoric bliss, you slowly open your eyes, and your jaw drops in shock. he placed you directly in front of the window, where all the fans are just outside, oblivious to the scandalous scene unfolding inside. the reality of the moment crashes over you, and you gasp, suddenly aware of the possibility of being seen.

“c-cho… the—fuckk—the fans,” you manage to warn, your entire body jolting with his relentless thrusts, each one motivating him to go even faster, to claim you harder.

“nahh, now you wanna back out?” he snarls through gritted teeth, going absolutely feral. his grip tightens as he reaches to grab the back of your hair, pulling you flush against his chest, forcing you to take him deeper. the blinds rattle as he yanks them open wider, letting in more light for the fans to see everything happening inside. the flashes from paparazzi cameras blind your vision as they snap multiple shots of your fucked out expression, choso grinning behind like a devil at each click.

“say cheese, pretty. you’re gonna be a star,”

[daydreamgoddess14]

Landslide pt. 1

MASTERLIST here

Summary: Jason approaches a singer/songwriter about a request for Ted Lasso Season 3.

Jason Sudeikis/Reader Insert (OFC, no use of y,n/l,n)

Rating: General for now... we'll see how it goes 🤭

Disclaimer: I absolutely own none of these songs, I also don’t want to diminish Sam Ryder’s contribution in creating Fought and Lost. This is all completely fictional. I also know nothing about the music industry so this is drowning in artistic license! 

Playlist Link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1crFZfdqL1fspNXb80u5sK?si=e90f5f8f357b4647

It leans very Swift heavy but also has songs that I feel fit the main character and her style. I've never created a playlist for a fic before but it seemed appropriate given the main character's profession.

Songs used in Chapter 1: 

If I had a gun - Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds (piano cover version): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xvoxDXxdok)

Landslide - Fleetwood Mac (piano cover version): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5JP43fk_SM)

Chapter 1

“Have you checked your emails yet?” A voice sounded through your apartment.

“Not yet, why - anything good in there?” You ask, your head deep in the fridge searching for eggs.

“Marcus wants to talk to you, he said he’s text you?”

“Yeah, he wanted me to show up at a couple of his Canadian dates but I’ll be in Spain. Or France... Europe, I’ll be somewhere in Europe.” You emerge somewhat triumphant, a two egg omlette will have to surfice.

“You’ll be in South America actually.” Your assistant Lily takes a seat at the counter and slides a coffee over to you.

“Oh. Well, I won’t be in Canada that’s for sure. I already told him I couldn’t do it, I wonder why he’s still asking.” Lily passes your phone over and goes back to attempting to tackle your inbox while you drop a message to Marcus.

Hey, sorry I missed you. Can’t do Canada - I’m in South America that week. Thought we’d talked about it already? Would love to catch up with you & Carey when you’re back in L.A though. Let me know xx

You’d actually met Carey long before Marcus. The same age, you’d crossed paths a lot in your early and mid twenties when she’d been an up-coming actress and you’d been a struggling musician. You’d drowned many, many sorrows together in dingy South London pubs, you’d been in the audience at her first performance of The Seagull in London and you’d followed her to New York to watch her Broadway debut. In contrast, she’d cheered you on in dark clubs and pubs for endless weeks and months. When she’d reconnected with Marcus, he’d tagged along to a couple of gigs and asked you to join the band for a number of their shows. Eventually you were added to the billing on your own, and supported them on a range of tour dates. From there, your career had really taken off. Now, you were regularly selling out arenas and festivals. Next on the masterplan was a worldwide stadium tour, but that was some way off. First you had music to write for a new album and a summer of festival appearances planned.   

“Aha! Figured it out!”

“Did we miss an email?”

“Not entirely, it went to junk so it’s not really your fault. Or mine.”

“What is it?” You ask, pushing the eggs around the pan.

“Hang on, just reading now… It’s from a Tom Howe?” You look blankly in reply, the name sounds vaguely familiar but you’ve no idea where from. “Hi, I’m trying to get in contact with you regarding Ted Lasso season 3. Jason came across some of your older work and the sound is a great fit for the show. He asked if I could reach out to you to discuss further. You also come highly recommended by Marcus Mumford who I believe is a friend we all have in common. Don’t hesitate to give me a call on the number below or reach out via email. We don’t have too long on this so would appreciate speaking with you. Best, Tom” Lily finishes reading the email on her device just as your phone rings.

“Do you just not read your emails, or?”

“I’m a bit behind! It’s been a busy few weeks.” You dump the eggs onto a plate and team them with a toasted muffin.

“Ah yeah, the life of a superstar.”

“You should know, you’ve sold out more gigs than me.”

“Not true… maybe still true but not for much longer.”

“If you say so. How are you? How’s Carey and the kids?”

“All good here, they’re missing you though.”

“I’m back in a few weeks, we’ll have a day out. Lily just read me the email from Tom.” “What do you think?” “I’ve no idea, I need to hear it again. How on earth did you think of me?”

“I didn’t. Well, I did. I play your stuff all the time. We were working on Season 3 and it just so happened that Jason heard some of your really early stuff and liked it. He asked if I thought you’d work with us so I said I’d ask - or rather Tom would.”

“That makes sense. He said something about a tight timescale?”

“Kind of, the show premieres next month but we’re thinking of you for the back half of the season so wouldn’t need anything from you till early May.”

“Do I get an idea of what you need?” “That’s where you’re better off talking to Tom and Jason. I daren’t spill any secrets, I’m not getting in trouble.”

“Ok, I’ll get in touch with Tom and set something up. Is he based in L.A?”

“He’s there at the moment, yeah. Why, are you still in New York?” 

“Yeah, I’m here til the 13th I think? But I might be able to get there early.” You reply, looking to Lily for confirmation who nodded, stealing the last bit of your muffin.

“Ok, definitely call Tom, cos if the timing won’t work then he’ll need to think of something else. Let me know. I’m in L.A at the same time as you so we’ll catch up.”

“Love to Carey and the babes.”

“See ya darlin’.”

“Right, I’d better read that email again properly before I call anyone else.” You sit next to Lily who opens the email back up for you. You can see that Marcus and what appears to be Jason have both been copied in. It had been sent earlier the following week so had been stagnating in your junk folder for about 6 days. “Shit.” You mumble, realising. “What’s the time in L.A?” 

“Umm 8.30am.” Lily checks. “Acceptable enough for a work related call?”

“Fuck it, I’ll leave a message if it’s not.” You read the number from the email and dial it from your phone, taking a deep breath. “Hi, can I speak to Tom please?” Tom was, it turned out, really lovely. You’d grown up not a million miles away from each other in various parts of London and he was a similar age to your older brothers. You instantly felt at ease with his good humour and musical knowledge. He’d explained that they were looking for a specific song to be used towards the very end of the season in a highly emotional moment. Though he and Jason had heard your recent music, it wasn’t until they’d been with Marcus who was listening to your much older back catalogue that the penny had dropped for all of them. In the days that had followed, Marcus had given them a masterclass of sorts, sending them copies of your early work and showing them how it had grown as you had and how your new music still has similar themes and styles. You’d blushed furiously while pacing in your apartment. Marcus hadn’t exactly been telling the truth about just how in depth your music had been discussed in recent days. You admitted that you wouldn’t be in L.A for another two weeks and questioned whether it would be a problem, he thought not and you’d promised to respond to his email. You hung up feeling elated at the prospect of a new project to get stuck into.

From: vialilyevans@gmail.com

To: thowe@gmail.com

CC: mmumford@gmail.com, djs@gmail.com

Subject: New Project

Date: 27th February 2023

Hi Tom, 

It was great to finally speak to you earlier, I apologise for missing your email - thankfully Marcus set me straight. From what you’ve said this project sounds really interesting, I’d love to hear more about it. As discussed, I’ll be in L.A from 13th March but can be there earlier if you have time? I know that’s pretty close to the premiere so I understand if you think we can’t fit this in - there’ll always be something else! On the off chance I am still in luck, I’m going to spend a couple of days binge watching 🙂

To: vialilyevans@gmail.com

From: djs@gmail.com

CC: mmumford@gmail.com, thowe@gmail.com 

Subject: RE: New Project

Date: 27th February 2023

Hey,

Thanks for reaching out, I won’t speak for Tom on how much time we have, but I really want to make this work so happy to hang on for as long as possible. Here’s hoping you can turn a track around in 24hrs, I guess?! It would be great to meet with you as soon as you can make it to L.A, then you could also attend the premiere if that sounds OK? I'll get the details sent over to you. We can meet first and then figure out next steps. Don’t worry about timing, that's on me.

JS

You’d received a reply within minutes. Literally minutes, and you were buzzing. It was from Jason himself. You’d only been half joking about binge watching, you’d done that already with Season 1 but had run out of time recently for Season 2. Now you were even more itching to watch it. Though you had no idea of storyline or what kind of song they were looking for, you could tinker with melodies and riffs. Tom had talked specifically about family, love and fighting for what you believe in so you could use those basic prompts to get you started. Over the following week, you'd worked on some new music and planned to bring your trip to L.A forward by a week. You were going to be there for up to 4 weeks. The information had come through inviting you to the season 3 premiere of Ted Lasso, so you'd made sure to catch up on season 2 just in time. But first came the initial meeting with Jason and Tom. You almost wished you could get away with waiting till the premiere but knew that wasn't realistic and you could totally understand why they'd want to get to know you sooner. L.A afforded you a little more anonymity than New York and with Tom's studio as the meeting place, you had a reasonable cover for being there if you were to get noticed by anyone. You slipped out of your Uber and followed a path through a pretty little courtyard. You'd gone for a denim skirt and Bon Jovi t-shirt, it felt miles warmer in L.A and you'd tricked your body into believing that Spring had fully arrived. You pressed the door buzzer and waited patiently. Lily had offered to go with you but you were still very much unused to having a real life assistant and still attended most meetings, interviews and events alone. 

"Hey, you made it! Come in, I'm Tom. You're alone?"

"Yeah, it's easier to go unnoticed." You smiled stepping into the entryway. 

"I wouldn't know, thankfully no one knows who I am."

"After the few months I've had, I'd wish the same thing." You follow Tom through the building, a handful of offices, a small kitchen and then into a corridor with a recording studio on either side.

"I don't pretend to keep up with gossip so I'll just have to take your word for it." He admits, you're grateful for that. It had been a rough 6 months or so. Your last relationship with a well known actor had ended abruptly - in that you'd escaped. He'd then leaked all over social media and outlets such as Deux Moi that you were 'emotionally unavailable', 'manipulative' and 'high maintenance'. He'd placed horrible, false comments that you'd supposedly made about your fans and friends, and he'd tried to alienate everyone against you. There had been a pile-on of negative press about you. Say nothing the management team had said, do nothing, stay calm and quiet they'd insisted it'll blow over. Bullshit. You'd gotten a little drunk and joined a friend in playing a dumb Tik Tok game where she'd asked what your 'Ick' was… you'd replied "Boyfriends who gaslight you and are emotionally and mentally abusive and then try to blame you in the media to make everyone hate you'' with an arched eyebrow and a knowing look. She'd posted it to Tik Tok and within minutes Twitter was ablaze with your retort. It had completely taken over the press tour for his new movie and overshon his interviews. Other exes of his had posted similar confirmations and praise of you on their socials. You’d then gone totally dark on the subject and not commented any further. Your team were still picking up the pieces from the escapade but you had so far been hailed a bit of a hero and it appeared that people were leaning more on your side now than they had been. It was only a matter of time before he’d produce some other lies though, at which point you fully expected that you’d have to go public and go all in on substantiating your initial comments. The how and the when preyed on your mind heavily. Tom led you into the studio on the right, a huge mixing desk took up much of the space but there were a couple of desks and sofas, space for downtime and collaboration. Beyond the mixing desk you could see into the studio itself with its acoustic panels and sound deadening equipment. Jason sat at the mixing desk, elbows up on the table typing on his phone. He turned and smiled at the sound of the door opening.

"Hey, glad you could make it. I'm Jason." You hold out your hand to shake his, his large hand engulfing yours. Your skin instantly felt like it had been set alight. He was tall, broad and ridiculously handsome. Binge watching the show had given you an almighty crush, so you'd sought out his other work too. Once you'd found out how funny he was, you were done for. Get a fucking hold of yourself you thought. It had not been so long since a man had touched you that you should be this affected by him. But, oh those eyes. And that smile is really something. He takes off his baseball cap and drags his fingers through his dark hair, greying at the temples and if you’d focused for any longer than half a second on that alone you couldn’t be held responsible for your actions. He greets you like he's known you for years and as Tom gets the meeting going, he's charming, attentive and so quick witted it makes your head spin a little. "I'm looking for a song specifically about the relationship between hope and failure and perseverance. That's the basic outline at least - I can't tell you much more than that." He apologises. You whip out your phone, 

"Just taking some notes, that OK? I get it, you don't want some rando knowing the ending." He motions for you to go ahead, smiling as your fingers frantically move across the screen on your notes app. 

"Yeah you might spill the beans on Twitter."

"It was Tik Tok actually."

"Ah how's it go? 'Tik Tok made me do it'?"

"And a lot of wine." You smirk, "Can I ask, how you feel about season 3 generally? For the song, I promise I'm not fawning over you to get information."

"I don't know if it's the end of the end, if that makes sense. It could carry on in different ways." 

"I'm just trying to figure out if it’s a goodbye to the characters, or to this chapter of their lives… from what you've said the song needs to be really personal. I want to make sure the emotion is there. Are you really sure I'm the right person for this?"

"I'm sure. I've heard enough of your music to know that this is what we need, I know you're more than capable. Between what you can do and what Tom already knows I need, I'm completely confident." Tom nods in agreement having stayed silent for much of your conversation. 

"So is this like The Voice? Do you guys have a list of people to see?" Tom laughed, 

"Not at all, we're hoping you're it to be honest. Though since you're here it would be great to hear you sing if you're happy with that?" 

"I didn't bring anything with me, so as long as you don't mind sharing your piano or a guitar?"

"It's all yours." He gestures into the other room and you head through nervously. They both join you, not wanting to listen via speakers. You stop for water first, and then flip through your notebook to find a suitable song, settling on something reasonably new but not so well known. You'd been performing for the best part of 20 years, you knew every note, every line, but performing in front of two people was about a million times more nerve wracking than two hundred people, or even two hundred thousand people which was exactly what you had lined up in the summer at Glastonbury. You closed your eyes, honed in on the piano at first, allowing yourself an extended intro to give you time to compose yourself. 

If I had a gun,

I'd shoot a hole into the sun,

and love would burn this city down for you.

If I had the time,

I'd stop the world and make you mine,

and everyday would stay the same with you

Hope I didn't speak too soon,

my eyes have always followed you around the room.

'Cus you're the only God that I will ever need,

I'm holding on and waiting for the moment

for my heart to be unbroken by the sea

You didn't play the full song but it was one you were extremely proud of. You let the piano trail off and risked a glance at Jason and Tom who were grinning at each other. Jason let out a whistle, 

"Y'know how you always wonder how people are gonna sound when they sing live and it sometimes doesn't live up to expectations?" He said mostly to Tom. You’re stomach dropped, oh god, were you about to fall into that camp?

"Yeah. Yeah that was pretty special." Tom agreed, vocalising Jason's thoughts. You breathed a huge sigh of relief. 

"Thank fuck for that. I haven't done that one for ages. You scared me then!” You said more to Jason.

"It's a beautiful song. I could just use that for the show to be honest, but I'd regret not working with you on something original." Tom said, as he did so, his phone rang so he left to take the call, “Sorry, be right back.”

“Any chance of another song?”

“I don’t see why not, while we’re waiting for Tom.” You flipped back through the notebook again, this time choosing a classic cover you’d done for years and years. It had been one of the first songs you’d learned and the lyrics seemed to change meaning for you in different chapters of your life so that it always fit you.

I took my love, I took it down

I climbed a mountain and I turned around

And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills

'Til the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky

What is love?

Can the child within my heart rise above?

Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?

Can I handle the seasons of my life?

“Holy shit.” He mumbled, sitting on the piano bench next to you. You could see through the glass that Tom was still on the phone. You run your hands over the keys playing mindless notes and melodies, no real intention behind, just filling the comfortable silence. You feel him leaning against you a little as he watches you play, the narrow bench not quite big enough for two.

“I played it with Stevie Nicks once.” You say quietly. “I actually thought I was going to die. It’s like I have this black hole in my memory, where I remember meeting her and then I remember coming off stage and we had a couple of drinks together, but I can’t for the life of me remember actually singing it with her.”

“I think that’s probably to be expected. Our brains do weird shit and make us feel like idiots.”

“That is definitely the truth.”

"I would really like to get to know you a little better while you work on this," Jason admitted almost hesitantly, "if that's OK with you?"

"I'd like that a lot." You smile, he returns it, relieved. 

“So how did it go?” Lily asks when you call her from the Uber ride home. You’d stayed far longer than any of you had probably anticipated, throwing ideas around and experimenting with melodies. You can’t help but gush over just how much fun you’ve had - probably for the first time in weeks. 

“I can’t wait to get started, they were both so welcoming.”

“And Jason?” Lily asked, knowing about your crush. You pause slightly, it’s been hard to know who you can actually talk to recently. With your ex on a campaign to smear your reputation, it’s hard to know who is really on your side. You know that the comments he’s made are all false but it still worries you that some people will believe him over you. 

“He’s just… lovely. And my god he’s gorgeous, like up close in person? He’s insanely handsome. I felt like a creep staring at him!” Lily giggled along with you,

“Oh my god, I didn’t realise this crush was like a full on crush?!”

“Neither did I!” You admit. “Tom had to take a call so we were just mucking around at the piano for ages.”

“You had to sing?”

“Of course I did! They want to know that I’ll be the right fit for what they need.”

“What did you sing? How was it?” Lily knew you hadn’t sung properly for weeks, you were rusty and unprepared and it made you anxious just thinking about it.

“I did ‘If I had a gun’ and ‘Landslide’. It went ok, my voice is a bit rough, but nothing some decent exercises won’t help.”

“Classics! I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank you. I wasn’t expecting this… connection. It’s weird, like he saw me immediately, like he’d known me forever. I feel like someone’s just plugged me back into real life.”

“You should write a song about that.” She teased.

“Well, I need to. They want to move forward with me so I need to bring my A game.” You reply, anticipation fizzing in your belly.

~~~~~~~~

Let me know what you think! I'm excited to get started on this 😊 As usual, my inbox is open!

[saganssorcery]

Hi, i would like to know if i can ask for a reading? I would like to know what M (female) feels for V (male and my boyfriend)?

Hello! You have drawn the Mother of Wands and the Son of Cups. This is showing two personalities, likely your bf and this girl. The tarot isn't being direct with answering your question, but put it this way, if the mother wants something you would know about it, it's not like she's exactly shy. Considering they have come up as a Mother and Son perhaps she feels somewhat maternal towards him, and wishes to protect him and make sure he's okay. The mother is fiercely protective of those she considers her young and the people that she cares about, while usually sweet and warm she can bite if she or those she cares for feel threatened. If she is the Mother of Wands that would mean she views him as the Son of Cups. The son is somewhat of an enigma, he is probably quite mysterious and charming in the eyes of the Mother, but still rather immature. She likely views him as quite a deep and talented artist in one way or another, a musician maybe, who is very good at what they do and respects them for it, but still has some growing up left to do.

Please [ Tip ] if you can ✨🙏✨

For an expanded reading please check out the [ full list of my services ] and DM me for any information you may need to get your reading underway 💙☄️

[socialjetlags]

╰ ☆ ◞ avan jogia / nonbinary / he/they ——— no way, is that KAVI DESAI? you know, they’re 32 years old and they’ve been in los angeles for 12 YEARS. they’re chillin’ as a MUSICIAN & MANAGER at ALT CULT RECORDS. oh and they’re notoriously known for being PRETENTIOUS but there are some people who have seen them be ENTHUSIASTIC. i heard they’re a part of a BAND called STATIC MIDNIGHT, yeah, they’re a DRUMMER. to be honest they sound a lot like BASEMENT & CITIZEN. they’re actually A RISING STAR.

I. BASICS.

FULL NAME: kavi desai.

NICKNAME(S): avi (a shortened version of their name, also happening to hold the meaning of "sheep"), shepherd (see: explanation for avi. sheep doesn't seem to flow too well as a nickname, & here comes a moniker he'll never shake), pepsi.

AGE: 32.

DATE OF BIRTH: february 9, 1992.

PLACE OF BIRTH: maywood, california, usa.

GENDER: nonbinary.

PRONOUNS: he/they.

ORIENTATION: bisexual.

LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english, gujurati.

NEIGHBOURHOOD: west paradise.

LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: lives in a one-bedroom unit at the aster apartments.

II. FAMILY TIES.

MOTHER: mindy desai, distantly supportive relationship. there's nothing stronger than a mother's love, they say, but kavi could name a few things. mindy is a good mom, mostly, and she makes sure to check in every now and then. sometimes she'll even refer to recent news of static midnight, if there is anything to speak of. if kavi could complain of one thing, it would be that she always has to slide "your father loves you, you know" into conversation.

FATHER: jevan desai, hostile relationship. to put it simply, jevan disagrees with the life that kavi is living, and kavi often fans the flames—if he's going to piss his dad off regardless, he might as well do a good job at it.

SIBLINGS: palomi desai, younger sister. palomi thought the world of kavi when they were kids, and well... she still kind of does. she is their motivation to do good & be good. if they have one only fan, it's palomi.

PETS: a tuxedo cat (unoriginally) named socks. if you ask kavi, she's "a sweet little thing." everyone who's met her so far would have to disagree.

III. OCCUPATIONAL INFO.

OCCUPATION: musician, manager of alt cult records.

NAME OF THEIR ACT: static midnight.

DO THEY PLAY INSTRUMENTS? IF SO WHAT?: drums.

HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN A PART OF THE ACT?: 4 years.

ARTIST INFLUENCES: karnivool, soul blind, superheaven; he takes a lot of musical inspiration from heavy shoegaze artists.

CURRENT MONTHLY SPOTIFY/APPLE MUSIC LISTENS ON AVERAGE: 14k.

IV. APPEARANCE.

FACE CLAIM: avan jogia.

HAIR COLOR: naturally dark brown, but currently bleached to a near-platinum tone. looks a bit like half-assed frosted tips with the dark roots starting to come back in.

EYE COLOR: dark brown.

HEIGHT: 177cm, 5ft10.

BUILD: slim, defined muscles.

TATTOOS: a decent amount on his torso, arms & legs. details tbd.

PIERCINGS: double lobe piercings, left nostril stud.

CLOTHING STYLE: experimental. mixes all kinds of fabrics & patterns, mostly dresses in a muted color palette. wears a lot of loose, flowing pants paired with tighter tops.

DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS: thick eyebrows, long eyelashes.

V. PERSONALITY.

MBTI: esfp-t, the entertainer.

ELEMENT: water.

WESTERN ZODIAC: aquarius.

CHINESE ZODIAC: monkey.

POSITIVE TRAITS: enthusiastic, adventurous, accepting, humorous, forward, decisive, open.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: pretentious, argumentative, (too) open and also somehow not open enough, self-sabotaging, unreliable.

HOBBIES: doom-scrolling, generating ai pictures of himself in different styles, denying any and all wrongdoing that they’ve ever done, irritating their cat and then giving her treats to reel her back in, working out, bitching about working out, fishing for people to tell him that his workouts are paying off, trying new diners, hanging out at bars, window-shopping, rearranging their living room and then ultimately ending up on the same layout, arguing with his neighbors over the noisiness of him moving his furniture every other day, spreading misinformation, pondering the possibility that it’s time for him to grow up and then deciding that he’s still got time.

VI. WANTED CONNECTIONS.

LONG-TERM EX: “the one”, almost. kavi was a flight risk from the get, but this person gave him an honest chance—and fell so in love that they stayed long after it had become obvious that he wasn’t willing to give them what they needed. up and down relationship, passionate one day & dull the next; a routine that established itself and persisted for two or three years. they were living with kavi up until the breakup, which was around christmas 2023. they still have an immense amount of love for each other, but understand that they lack romantic capability. staying friends through it all, for better or for worse. the vibes: the 1 by taylor swift, i know the end by phoebe bridgers, cellophane by fka twigs, two slow dancers by mitski, renegade by big red machine & taylor swift, new perspective by noah kahan, etc etc…

THE BEST FRIEND: they’ve been through hell & back together, even if most of this so-called “hell” was self-created. there’s not much kavi wouldn’t do for them, so long as they keep cat-sitting when he’s out of town.

CUSTOMERS: people who shop at alt cult records somewhat regularly and are often subject to kavi’s pretentiousness, as music is where it tends to come out. the person who thinks he’s so cool, the person who’s sick of him acting like they give a shit about anything he’s got to say, the person who thinks he’s a sleazebag but he’s Hawt so they’ll pretend to be interested in what he’s saying all day every day, etc etc!

QUESTIONNAIRE. 

start at the beginning, who are you and why are you important?

“i’m kavi desai,” he says, as if it that’s all he has to say; there’s something suffocatingly smug in it, telling of who he is. a conglomeration of false confidence and one-liners. “i was just an indian kid with a dream, and now i’m managing a record store and playing in a band that people actually give a shit about; no matter what angle you look at it from, i’ve got something to be proud of, right? and, believe me, it gets better from here.”

how long have you been making music?

“as long as i can remember, really. i asked for a guitar for christmas one year. i can’t remember how old i was, maybe nine or ten, and santa provided. i learned fast and i wrote a lot of songs as a teenager, most which were complete dog shit. i ended up picking up drums ‘cause a good friend of mine was selling their set, and i guess there was somethin’ in me that knew where i needed to be. hey, here i am.”

how would you describe the kind of music you make?

“honest rock music. in a band, you have to work together to make something worth listening to—but if you understand who i am and what i do, you’ll understand there’s a lot of self-revelation in it. i like to try new things, and i like to believe that it all comes from my heart.”

who are some of your biggest musical influences?

“when i was growing up, the main one was the smashing pumpkins. i could probably play every song from pisces iscariot on a guitar to this day—but hey, don’t hold me to that, alright?… nowadays, i really like superheaven. their drummer’s style really stands out to me. they don’t make music anymore, but their discography never gets old.”

what is the first record you ever bought?

“the all-american rejects’ move along. not a single skip on it.”

what has working in the music industry meant to you thus far in your career?

“excitement. if i’m honest, not much else to speak of yet, but i think we’re getting close to something.”

what are some stand out moments from your career so far?

“it’s always nice to be told that i inspired someone to start drumming… or to see a pretty girl lose her shit from catching a setlist. hey, let me tell ya, moments like that will make you feel like a real rockstar!”

what are you still hoping to achieve in your career?

“well,” they start, grinning ear-to-ear—their bashfulness now evens out the vanity from earlier. “i want a sure sign that i’ve made it. this might look different for other musicians, but for me… it’d be nice to hold an arena tour, right?”

what’s next for you?

“keep your eyes on me and you’ll find out soon enough.”

[myloveforhergoeson]

posting another chapter preview bc i feel bad about not posting for a month and a half lol. everyone promise you'll act surprised when the chapter actually gets posted, okay? please enjoy :) <3

tw: mentions of underage drinking

Finding something to wear to a show was always a struggle for Roxy. Back in Brand New Day, an old band t-shirt or flannel, some skinny jeans, and black boots were practically a uniform worn at every single gig. While on the Big Time Rush tour, her options were equally as simple - Something cute, matching whatever colors the boys were wearing that night, that didn’t make her stand out in the slightest. But to a basement show in her hometown? Nothing in her closet seemed like the right way to go.

She hadn’t even been planning on going to one over the holiday break, but she had run into her old lab partner, Catherine Endicott while at the grocery store earlier, and she wasn’t ever one to pass up an invitation to enjoy the local music scene. So many incredible bands and musicians had come out of Minnesota; It would be a shame to miss out on potentially seeing the next big thing right as they got their start. 

“Bob Dylan, The Replacements, Hüsker Dü, Big Time Rush… Minnesota is crawling with musical talent,” She rambled, twisting her hair up into a large claw clip and letting the ends stick up, framing the top of her head like a spiky crown, while speaking to a spaced-out James. “Now we get to see Cait’s band, Under the Bleachers!”

It sounded like he was humming along to the OneRepublic song on the radio station he’d picked, sitting on top of her messily made bed while she dug through her closet to try and find something she’d feel comfortable in. 

Fashion was always a mixed bag at underground shows, and that had never really bothered her before, but she’d found she favored more colorful and trendy outfits than the experimental and quirky style she often saw at house gigs. Typically, she’d just wear whatever and bolster the strange looks because she’d be with her dad - in his own grunge style - and he’d ward off any unwanted glances or sly comments. But going with James, the poster boy for everything mainstream, would not afford her such grace. 

So… Blend in but make it my own… She determined, reaching all the way into the back of her closet for the punkish outfits she used to wear while she was in Brand New Day. It felt like forever ago now, but that had been her style when trying to fit in with Mag and Dani at their shows, but these days, not so much. 

“So we’re going to see a show by a band you’ve never heard of because someone you kind of know invited you?” James asked, clarifying the situation she had hurriedly explained to him on the phone as she’d come home from the store. Of course, he had been more than eager to bike over to her place in his “alternative” outfit - which to him was a pair of nice black jeans, a black v-neck, and a black jacket - but was having some trouble grasping the concept of seeing an artist they didn’t know. 

Even though he couldn’t see her buried in the back of her closet, the girl nodded as she slid hanger after hanger toward her to check out all her options. “Duh. Most of the people at our first show didn’t know who we were either, but they came because of our amazing advertising!”

Oh… Good times, Roxy fondly recalled running around L.A. handing out as many Big Time Rush fliers as she could and inviting anyone to their show that would stop long enough to listen. Brand New Day’s advertising strategy had been similar, but she also had the power of the airwaves to help her out at the Project Pop radio station. 

Taking in her words, James continued humming to the radio, as Roxy’s fingers landed on a long-forgotten t-shirt she had been keeping tucked away for a special occasion. James’ first basement show seemed like as good a time as any, and she managed to pair it with a short, red skirt and a pair of black fishnet tights. 

 As quickly as she had found it, she ran into the bathroom to change, feeling much more like herself than she had figured she would as she admired her picks in the large mirror. Not only was this her first concert with James, but it would also be her first underground show since she left Brand New Day. A part of her was irrationally worried that she’d see Mag and Dani there, but Duluth wasn’t that small a city, and Cait hadn’t mentioned running into them during their brief conversation earlier. 

Then again… They did show up at the Palm Woods…

“When you say ‘we’ are you talking about Big Time Rush or your old band?” She heard James call through the closed door, just as she managed to slip the final component of her outfit on; A gold chain belt cooly rested against her exposed midriff after she’d tied up the shirt, matching the charm necklace hanging around her neck.

Aside from the time Kendall had stolen her journal and passed it off to famous internet blogger Deke, that had been the first time he’d asked her something regarding her musical past. Not that she didn’t mind sharing - with him at least - the question simply caught her off guard. Despite a long-standing friendship, their relationship was still in the beginning stages. Roxy’s heart skipped; It was nice that even after knowing each other quite well, there was still much for them to learn about each other.

Slowly opening the door to the bathroom and making a beeline back to her closet for a pair of black boots, Roxy considered her next words carefully, “Yes to both; But each time we did a significant amount of advertising. Word of mouth does wonders in any town… Ergo, we’re seeing Cait’s band.”

When she finally turned around to find the jewelry box on her dresser, she felt James’ eyes glued to her as she crossed the small room. It made her chest flutter, knowing he couldn’t stop staring at her, and just for fun, she used it to her advantage as she coyly glanced over her shoulder and shot him a wink before picking out a pair of matching earrings. 

“Rox…” He almost whispered, and the springs of her bed groaned as he stood up. In response, he brought a fist to his mouth before clearing his throat and she didn’t miss the unmistakable dusting of pink blushing the top of his ears. “I know you’re going to be freezing but is it bad that I don’t care? I never want you to take that off…”

In the vanity mirror she was using to check her outfit, she noticed he crept closer while he spoke, gaze suspiciously targeting her legs. When he reached out to wrap his arms around her, she playfully evaded his grasp with a nicely timed side-step.

“Oh, my God!” Roxy cried, cutting into his sentence with a few uncontrollable snorts of laughter and an accusatory finger, meeting him in the middle of the room. “You’ve got a thing for fishnets!”

She watched James freeze, glancing up at the ceiling fan lazily rotating around. In response, he let out a few beats of an innocent whistle before rocking back and forth on his heels. “Whaaat! No!”

Acting against his words, his hand reached out to grab hers at the same time his gaze flickered down just long enough to give her another once-over, noticeably lingering on her tights. When the writer opened her mouth again to tease him, he beat her to the punch and changed the subject, pointing to the old black and white band t-shirt she had tied up above her navel. “Who’s Dec and the Desires? Never heard you talk about them before.”

 Another question that made her giddy, and she grinned as she laced her fingers between his and pulled him into the living room toward the front door, making sure to grab a lighter from the kitchen junk drawer on the way out. “An underground punk band I love. They were really big in the late 80’s and early 90’s in Austin, Texas. Though, I figure you can put the rest together yourself, considering you know the lead singer.”

It seemed as though her words confused her boyfriend for a moment, as they stepped out of the Somerset’s one-story and out onto the freezing streets of Minnesota. Of course, James had been right, and Roxy was freezing, but Cait’s house was only a few blocks away. She could brave the cold in the name of fashion. 

Besides, I’ve got my own personal space heater…

“I do?” He asked, eyes darting around the empty driveway before his brows knit in confusion. 

Roxy carefully tugged him toward the mostly snow-cleared sidewalk, silently letting him know they’d be walking to their destination instead of driving; Someone had been caught up at work after taking an impromptu day off on Christmas Eve and kept Dynamo out late. “Yes, baby. Dec… and the Desires?”

James blinked, either still confused or taking in the pet name he wasn’t quite used to as he followed her lead.

Oh my…

“Declan?” She tried again, doing her best to keep from shivering too much as she and James traversed the icy path. “Somerset?”

“Oh! Your dad was in a band like you?” The genuine curiosity in his voice made her melt a smidge and she snugged his arm into her chest as she practically pulled him down the street to Cait’s. “I didn’t know that, Rox! Kendall and I talked his ear off about sports backstage when we could’ve been asking for music advice! He’s way nicer than Gustavo.”

Her heart involuntarily squeezed at the thought of James feeling comfortable going to her father for advice. “Yeah, they were really going places. Headlining local venues, sending for record labels, lining up an independently run U.S. tour, until…” She paused, realizing she’d never spoken with anyone besides her dad and old band about his small stint in the music industry. Until me. “He’ll talk your ear off about the glory days if you’d let him.”

 “It’s neat that the two of you have so much in common… My parents always had to drag me to stuff about Brooke Diamond Cosmetics - Thank God that’s all over,” James nodded, slinging an arm around his girlfriend as they walked. Try as she might to contain her shivers, he could feel the involuntary shakes and goosebumps riddling her arm under his fingertips. “What did I tell you about being cold?!”

Roxy knew he was changing the subject so she wouldn’t ask any follow-up questions about his statement. In all the time they’d known each other, this was the first in which he’d willingly brought up the company his mother ran. Besides, the writer had only made the connection he was the Brooke Diamond’s son during an interview on the band’s summer tour - If James had wanted her to know that sooner, he would’ve told her.

Just as he was interested to learn more about her past, she was curious about his, but decided not to push her luck as they traveled on to Cait’s. James would share when he was ready and that was perfectly fine with Roxy.

~

They hadn’t even been in the crowded, boiling basement for 10 minutes when a guy around James and Roxy’s age, dripping in metal spikes and heavy chains, came up to them, asking the latter if she was ever in a band because she looked “kinda, sorta, super familiar.” The show wasn’t even close to starting yet.

The writer shrugged him off, playing with the rim of the red Solo cup in her hand when she brought up Big Time Rush - knowing full well that wasn’t what he had meant by his question - and introduced him to James who was far more versed in interactions like these. Just as quickly as the guy had come to speak with them, he wrinkled his nose at the thought of meeting a member of a boy band and disappeared into the sea of people around them. 

Five minutes, and Roxy’s nervous downing of her drink later, someone else stopped by the couple and asked her the same question. Though she wanted them to stick around a bit and ask for a few tips on how they got their sharp-edged eyeliner to stand out so nicely against their dark eyeshadow, her response was the same as before, as was the individual’s when she brought up the pop band she wrote and composed for. 

James, bless his heart, looked a bit uncomfortable with the sheer amount of people packed into the small space and stuck close to her side as she navigated them as best she could around the small space. Despite pouring him a cup straight from the ice-bathing keg’s tap in the corner closest to the entrance, he had declined the drink - “Need to bike home, babe,” - and passed it off to the girl in line behind them.

Then, she asked Roxy if she’d been in a band as well.

Just the thought of anyone associating her with Brand New Day made her nauseous, so she used to boy band line again, and the young girl scurried off to her group of friends, shaking her head at them as if they’d all been wondering the same thing. 

Ignoring the slight shake in her fingers as she reached for her boyfriend’s hand, Roxy told herself she brushed off the questions only because Brand New Day were openly establishing themselves as a duo now that they’d moved to Hollywood and signed with Galactic Records. Telling someone she used to play with them might make her look like a liar, or worse, a delusional fan girl. 

Yup, that’s totally worse than being a liar, she decided, squeezing James’ hand for comfort while waving in and out through the mass of individuals to try and get to the center of the room. I never want to be associated with them again.

“We’ll be able to hear best from here!” Roxy assured James as they’d reached the middle of the crowd, having to raise her voice over the noise level, even though she couldn’t see where Cait had set up the instruments over everyone standing in front of her. In her opinion, the only downfall to house shows was the absence of an elevated stage. “Think you’ll be able to see alright?” 

The question was inherently dumb; One look over the cramped space told her he was one of the tallest people there - excluding those who had used an insane amount of hairspray to hold up their hairdos and those in platform shoes. 

Instead of answering her question, James squeezed her hand back before warmly saying, “You’re famous.”

No question mark, no hesitation. Spoken as though it were the truest of facts.

Taking another sip of her drink, Roxy held it on her tongue for a moment, letting the pungent taste linger before swallowing while she considered his words. Then, the sickly feeling from before returned, heartbeat drumming uncomfortably in her chest, and her immediate reaction was to deflect his statement. “You’re the one in a boy band.”

“No one’s asked me if I was in a band tonight.”

“No one here listens to that kind of music.”

When James realized he wasn’t getting anywhere with this conversation, he sighed and shifted his attention forward to the non-existent stage, while his girlfriend realized how combative her words were coming off. Which, unfortunately, they were designed to be. Brand New Day was the last thing she’d wanted to think about at the show tonight, but he wasn’t asking to be a bother. She knew that; But this wasn’t the setting in which she wanted to have that conversation.

It had just been a long time since she’d considered her past in the Duluth music scene. She never handled the unwanted feelings about her old band members and stolen intellectual property well, as evidenced by the slightly mean tone she’d taken with him. 

Though she thought she was over it after she vowed to move on after her last encounter with Mag and Dani at AM LA, actions certainly spoke louder than words. 

 Roxy took another sip of her drink, starting to feel the beginnings of a buzz itch at the back of her brain. Way to go Rox, drive off the one guy you’ve managed to keep around...

Just as she opened her mouth to apologize, she felt James squeeze her hand again. “Did you play a lot of shows in places like this? How could you stand the distinct… skunky and sweaty smell?” 

Saying a silent prayer of thanks he had moved on from the previous line of questioning, Roxy felt her rapid breathing begin to slow.

“More than I could count. Dani’s basement was a bit bigger than this one, though, but most times we’d jump in on someone else’s show if we begged them hard enough,” She shared in earnest, trying to tell herself it wouldn’t be as bad to talk it out with someone she cared about. “Loved every moment of it, too.”

By now, she had finally worked up enough courage to glance up at her boyfriend in the low light, finding him raising an eyebrow at her comment. 

“Even the skunky and sweaty smell! Got used to it after a while… But you,” Roxy reached up and poked at his cheek with a loose giggle, “You’ve been venue spoiled. Free snacks and gifts, clean green rooms, crowds of thousands screaming your name… Lucky, lucky boy.”

“That I am,” James assured her, bending down to press a much-wanted kiss to her cheek to let her know everything was alright. “Sounds like you get free drinks at shows like these though. That’s not a perk of our job quite yet.”

Of course, his timing was perfect to when she went to take a sip of her drink, causing her to nearly spit out what little she had left as she snorted a bit of buzz-induced laughter. “Only if you’re friends with the homeowner or you’re incredibly cute. So both of us are in the clear tonight, superstar, because those jeans you’re wearing make me wanna-”

The distinct ringing of microphone feedback surged through her ears, immediately cutting her off from her train of thought as Under the Bleachers took their places at the front of the room and soon, it was replaced with the deep kick of the drum echoing in her chest, carrying over the second-hand speakers. Wasting no time, the band jumped straight into their first song, leaving her little choice but to pull her boyfriend down for a quick kiss against the beginnings of a guitar melody meant to promise there was much more in store for him later. 

~

Lucky for James, Roxy cashed in on her silent promise about halfway through the set when the ear-splittingly loud music had thoroughly rattled her brain and she had managed to finish off her second cup of beer. The room was warm, sure, but he’d wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her closer a few minutes ago, and the temperature prickling her skin reached inferno-like levels just from his touch. Be it the heightened state she had found herself in, the adrenalin rush of her first show in so long, or the fact Cait’s band wrote excellent make-out music, Roxy had dragged James out of the crowd to the back of the room and spent most of the set’s remaining time pressed up against the basement wall with her lips locked onto his. 

That was, until the most pit opened, of course.

When the show ended, she nearly cried, but allowed James to navigate them up the staircase and out into Cait’s backyard with everyone else, before eventually making it back out to the sidewalk and heading in the direction of her house. 

“Tonight was perfect!” She yelled without regard for the late hour, throwing her head and hands back as the sound echoed off the houses on the road they took. “Can you believe Under the Bleachers are so, so, so good? We should call Gustavo - He needs a girl band and they need a record contract! An album too, lots of albums. So many albums…”

The heat of the basement had almost made them forget the below-freezing temperature outside, but Roxy could hardly feel it as she twirled down the sidewalk, humming what she could remember of the songs they’d played. At some point, her boyfriend had given her his coat, but she didn’t remember when. 

When she almost hit a metal mailbox on the street with her hands, James poorly tried to conceal his smile as he caught her around the wrist and pulled her into his side, slinging an arm around her shoulders. “Careful, crazy girl. I know you punks like to break stuff, but let’s keep the damages to a minimum.”

At his statement, she squeezed her eyes shut and stuck out her tongue, shaking her head at the notion. “Not a punk! Not even close!”

Roxy managed to pop one eye open and glance his way, noting the way his head tilted to the side, bottom lip stuck out. It made her giggle.

“Wanna know a secret?” She said, fully intending to whisper it in his ear, but she was too busy continuing to stare at his mouth to focus on her volume. The pair had split her last cup of lukewarm beer; The relaxation it brought had caused her newfound loose lips. “I just like the music, making me the world's biggest poser! I’m not connected to the culture at all; Not like Dad.”

Hand moving up and down on her arm to spark some heat, the perplexed look on James’ face remained. “You think? From what you said earlier it sounds like the two of you were in pretty similar situations. Playing the shows, writing the music, connecting with others around town… Sounds pretty punk to me.”

“He and his band wrote about real issues,” Roxy blurted out, still failing to find the balance between what she should and shouldn’t say. There had been a reason she’d needed to share her last cup with James - The looseness had traveled to whatever part of her brain filtered her speech. “Racism, religious conservativism, labor rights… Shit was bad and they were able to channel it into a musical act of protest. All I ever managed to write about was stupid, trivial teenage stuff to pair over a punky-sounding guitar riff. I still do that, just.. Poppy now.”

James didn’t say anything for a moment, and when she turned to look at him as they rounded the corner of her street, she swore she could see the gears turning in his head. “It’s all about self-expression, though, right?”

A good point - one she hadn’t been expecting him to make. In fact, that had been something she had neglected to realize all night, despite that being one of the core tenets of the genre. 

“Getting in touch with your emotions, writing them out, being brave enough to share them… That’s hard for a lot of people, Rox.” The hesitation in his voice made her think he was speaking from experience, but she certainly wasn’t in a state to ask him. “Whether or not you think it’s punk is up to you, but I think it’s pretty extraordinary.”

There were only two times in her life Roxy could remember being rendered speechless - The first time her dad played her Definitely Maybe by Oasis and the first time she’d met Dak Zevon - and now, this was a conversation she could file away in that folder as well. He wasn’t known for always saying the right thing at the right time, but she internalized his words, playing them over and over in her mind as they approached her front door. While she did, her heart was pounding to the point of ache, almost as though it were attempting to break free from her chest and make a new home for itself in James’ hands. 

Just as she was figuring out how to respond, he continued with a crack of a smile, “Especially extraordinary when the song you write is about me! Perfect subject matter for my perfect songwriter.”

[boysplanetrecaps]

Build Up Episode 6 Recap Part 3: Team Mismatch v. Team Maknae

Welcome back to the recap series that follows ALL the rabbit holes: BPR Unnie recaps MNET’s Build Up! In the previous post, we saw a team with not great teamwork lose to a team that had not great rhythm. In tonight’s scintillating tale, we’re going to see a team of maknae (youngest members of the show) take on a team that includes people of all different ages. We’re going to lose one of the teams, and it’s going to be sad no matter what, so… let’s face the music. 

Dahee calls the next two teams up on stage. It’s Team Mismatch versus Team Maknae. (These are my names for the teams, but you have to admit, they’re good names.)

Team Mismatch:

Left to right: Geonu, Seohyung, Soomin

In the previous round, Geonu and Soomin performed Don’t Forget and came in 7th place; new recruit Kim Seohyung performed I Don’t Love You with Hong Seongjun of BDC, and lost to Geonu and Soomin. Hong Seongjun was eliminated, unfortunately. 

You might remember Geonu as the one who used to have light pink hair. He’s on Just B with Bain. You might remember Chicago’s own Soomin as the one who sang “Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You” in the vocal check in. And you might remember Kim Seohyung as just being a kind of lovable weirdo with a surprisingly deep voice and a sort of stiff, formal manner despite his relatively young age.

Left to right: Yeonwoo, Yunseo, Joohee

In the previous round, Ji Yeonwoo and Jeong Yunseo performed The Little Prince and came in 8th place; new recruit Park Joohee performed performed The Moon with Kwon Euibin, and lost. Euibin was eliminated, unfortunately. 

You may remember Yeonwoo as the one who forgot the words to a Mamamoo song in front of Solar even though he’s from her agency. He certainly remembers, I’m sure. You may remember Joohee as the one who cried at the end of his song in the 2x2 mission and couldn’t sing. Meanwhile, Driver Yunseo is the hero of the maknae team, determined and confident no matter what. 

Seeing the two teams onstage, the guys in the green room say the two teams look like villains and “a traffic light.” The judges think that Joohee looks like he’s wearing his dad’s clothes -- I think it’s his loose white pants that give that impression. He also looks terrified.

Team Maknae introduces themselves as “The Youngest Musicians” and do some anime poses. It’s cyooo! 

Soomin from the other team immediately pipes up to point out that he’s the same age as the guys in Team Maknae. 

The judges ask Joohee how he’s doing, and he says he has decided to be cooler this time. Well, I hope so. 

Then Team Mismatch introduces themselves as “Taco Trio”  because they ate Mexican food whenever they practiced and each had different favorite dishes -- tacos, quesadillas, and burritos. “Just like we like various dishes,” Seohyung says, “we want to show our diverse charms on stage.”

Dahee encourages the teams to smack talk, and they do, and it’s whatever.

We head into the flashback, picking up with the moment when Yunseo and Yeonwoo recruited Joohee. Joohee was really happy to be on a team with his fellow maknae (youngest) and is looking for a song that will go with their image. 

They’ve decided on Nakka by Akmu.  

If you don’t know Akmu, they’re a brother-sister duo with undeniable talent signed to YG. They’re not really idols; brother Chankhyuk writes their songs and sings on them, and sister Suhyun might have the single most beautiful voice in all of pop, both kpop and western pop. They’re super popular in Korea, and are called things like “The Nation’s Siblings.” They’re also my fella’s favorite Korean-based musical act by a wide margin. He full on just listens to Akmu. 

If you want to get to know them a bit, you can check out Suhyun’s solo song Alien, which is probably her most “idol”-like moment. I already mentioned her performance in Hopeless Romantic in the previous post. And then from Akmu themselves there’s always Dinosaur. 

Anyway, I actually hadn’t heard Nakka before but it’s great. A collab with IU? Of course I’m on board. It seems to be about taking a leap of faith when you’re in a good relationship….? I’ll let you be the judge. Joohee says that the song represents closing your eyes and sort of letting go and being courageous.

Driver Yunseo says that he thought the song might be a bit monotonous without some form of performance/dance, so they decide to add some movement. They want to provoke feelings, so they… wear sunglasses? Ok. 

They’re rehearsing in a room at Mystic Story, which is Jeong Yunseo’s agency. (Mystic Story is home to Lucy, a boy band, and Billlie, a girl group.) They talk a bit about how they have a chingoo on the opposing team. And again, the subtitles translate “chingoo” as friend, so in the subtitles they’re saying things like “We can’t lose to a friend!” But of course, as you know, chingoo *can* mean friend but it also can mean “someone the same age.” Ok, cool, we’re good.

They’re at some sort of interim evaluation and see their rivals, so they decide to visit them and see… I don’t know, what they’re up to?

Geonu is up to wearing that hat, so, that’s good. 

Driver Yunseo asks, “Is there anything you guys can do better than us?” And I mean, what did he think they’d say back to that? Geonu, reasonably, says, “What do YOU think? I mean, honestly, I do everything well.” It’s so odd -- did Yunseo think the other team would be like, “Actually, we’re bad singers, so you should win”? Soomin says, “In a way, everyone on our team has debuted. We’re pros, and you’re amateurs.” I don’t know if that’s entirely accurate, but I guess it’s true that Seohyung has performed on stage, and I guess Soomin put out a single or something, so, sure. Anyway this whole scene makes me really uncomfortable and I’m glad when it’s over!

It’s performance day. Team Maknae turns their backs to the judges then turns back around wearing sunglasses. 

This isn’t as random as it might seem; when Akmu performed this song live on Sketchbook, they wore sunglasses too. I think they’re trying to look

The performance begins. 

Full version without reactions.

My thoughts:

Aww, I really liked this. I think all three of them have great voices and they sound great together. 

Left to right: Yeowoo, Yunseo, Joohee

I think Yeonwoo might hold his eyes open like that to make them look bigger, but it just makes him look scared. I don’t think he actually was scared, though. He sounded great. 

It’s funny, I don’t have as much to say about this performance as I do about performances I like less. They all have similar voices; all three have good breath control, no nasality, and an lovely natural vocal color. When they did that bit where they sort of echoed each other back and forth, it almost sounded like the same person singing over and over. 

Joohee’s voice is my favorite of the three. It’s just the cleanest and prettiest, in my opinion. I think this is the best I’ve heard him sing this whole time. 

Yeonwoo might be the weakest of the three but that’s a compliment to them, not an insult to him. He seems slightly uncomfortable on higher notes -- it’s an issue with agility, I think. He can hit them straight on, but having to hit them suddenly on a run is harder for him. Still, he’s a great singer. 

Yunseo’s voice has the most texture, which adds a bit of interest to the trio. He also had that lovely long note with amazing dynamic control (ie, he controls his volume).

I loved the close harmony and almost-acappela moment toward the end. Nice work!

I’m not sure I *loved* the whole stylized, robotic movement thing they did, but it was cute and funny enough. They were doing a thing and it was a way to add interest without using up the breath they needed to sing. 

I do worry that maybe the song wasn’t the best choice, just because it didn’t have the emotional resonance or engagement that some of the other songs have had….? But maybe that will work in their favor, helping them stand out in a group of serious, ponderous songs. Regardless, I’m cheering for them to win. I enjoyed this a lot. 

In the MNET edit, the judges are laughing during their super serious “bada badas,” but then Joohee starts to sing and Eunkwang loses his SHIT.

Every time the guys do the badabums in their action poses, everyone laughs -- but when they actually sing, everyone is like, “but they can really sing!” 

We see Eunkwang the most, but it seems like everyone’s having a great time. 

Dahee loves it too!

The judges applaud without hesitation when the guys are done, and all theother  guys backstage cheer. 

Wendy tells Joohee that when he started to sing at the beginning, she thought they were just playing the pre-recorded song. Fair -- that kid obviously ate the CD for breakfast. Eunkwang adds to the praise, saying that Joohee was like an uncut gemstone that has now become polished. 

Eunkwang also praises the teamwork and staging, saying that it made everything fun and light. 

Guest Judge Guy -- whose name I never remember so I’ll just have to call him Guest Judge Guy and you’ll just have to make your peace with that -- says, “You were so charming that I thought, ‘I could even become a fan if it’s a team like this.’” Me too, GJG! Me too! 

That’s about all the feedback we hear, and then it’s time for Team Mismatch!

Everyone’s interested to see what the “bad guys” are going to do. 

The judges wonder about this combination -- Seohyung seems to be an odd choice to add to the duo of Soomin and Geonu. They had had to choose among Seohyung, Joohee, Gwangseok, and Woong, and I’m not sure if there’s anyone they’d prefer to that.. I think Soomin didn’t want to work with Joohee -- he seems to look down on the young trainees, kind of like, I don’t know, like he’s too good to work with them? I don’t mean to be so negative about Soomin but I’ve been open about how he rubs me the wrong way, so at least I’m not pretending I’m totally objective here.. I also think Soomin wouldn’t have wanted to work with Woong -- the two of them worked together on Ditto and I didn’t sense much camaraderie on the team. I think Gwangseok’s voice wouldn’t mesh well at all with Soomin and Geonu’s lighter tones. So it kind of had to be Seohyung. And a bass voice could add a lot of interest to any team, right?

The judges ask Seohyung how he feels about singing the song the team is going to sing, and he says cheerfully that he’s never sung in this genre before, but that since the song is called Joker, he’s going to be a Joker in this performance. Love that! Imagine, just saying to your teammates, “Ok, I haven’t done this genre before, but I’m ready to try.”  IMAGINE THAT!

We head into the flashback and see Geonu and Soomin entering the Small Room of Serious Decisions, muttering to themselves, “I hope he’s still there!” And quite to everyone’s surprise, they seem to be enthusiastically interested in Kim Seohyung.

I had assumed that they’d chosen via process of elimination -- that they didn’t want a trainee like Joohee, a low tier like Woong, or a strong, uncontrolled voice like Gwangseok’s. But nope, seems like they really wanted Seohyung, or at least are doing a good job of pretending that they did. Good for them either way. 

Seohyung is like, “I can’t believe the ‘Chicago baby’ wants me!” (He says “Chicago baby” in English -- pretty funny.) When he runs into them in the hall, Geonu says in Korean, “We chose you!” and Seohyung replies in good-sounding English, “Seriously?!?” 

We get a little flashback montage showing how high energy Geonu and Soomin are, and how calm and polite Seohyung is. I think my favorite is him bumping into a door and then saying thank you to it. Also we’re reminded that he likes to watch car documentaries. WHAT ARE CAR DOCUMENTARIES???

(The Korean letters phonetically spell out the English words “Welcome, my bro.” Also: s w e a t e r spotting)

The guys meet up to plan and rehearse, and Geonu and Soomin reveal that they already had a song in mind: Joker by Big Naughty. 

Ok, Big Naughty is the guy who sang Hopeless Romantic, which we’ve talked about a few times -- the song that guest starred the female half of Akmu (who sang Nakka). Big Naughty’s song Joker features Jamie, formerly known as Jimin Park, who you might know for being a host/personality on a lot of Korean shows, or for her song 3D Woman or maybe April Fools (two awesome songs). She finally got out of JYP’s basement and she’s out and about now!

Joker seems to be about that tension between wanting to have a sincere, genuine relationship with someone, where you let down your guard, and wanting to protect your heart and keep things light. It has a light, sort of jazzy sound that reminds me a lot of And July by Heize and Dean.

So yeah, Soomin and Geonu tell Seohyung about the song they’ve picked, and he says he’s never heard it. Of course he hasn’t. It’s not a car documentary. Geonu explains that he thinks this will help all of them by letting them show something new but also use their talents. 

Seohyung interviews, “I contemplated the situation momentarily. Truly, singing a ballad would be easier, but if I were to do so, how would improvement be possible?” See, that’s my guy. He tells the duo that he’s ready to try it -- “use me as a joker,” he says. Soomin challenges him to try smack talk, and he says, in English:  “....… Babies! …. We… we go to the next round!” That’s about all he can do, but it’s great.

Then they decide they have to make a handshake and help Seohyung develop a “vibe.” I think they’re having fun and getting to be friends. It’s cute. 

Cutting back to performance day, the judges are like, I can’t imagine Seohyung singing this song. I can’t either, but that’s mainly because Nakka by Akmu is so firmly stuck in my head that I can’t remember how any other songs go until/unless I listen to another one. 

The performance begins. 

Full version without reactions.

My thoughts:

Overall, really great, mainly because of Soomin and Seohyung.

I wish that Soomin had been entranced by Woong or Bain instead of Geonu, who I think has one of the weakest voices on the show. I really don’t want to feel that way, since Geonu and Bain are in the same group and I want that group to be successful, but I can’t help how I feel --  that Geonu is vastly outshined by nearly every other vocalist on this show. His voice is very nasal, he’s often a bit off key, his high notes are strained and shrill sounding, and he lacks breath support on longer notes. He also is awkward in his movements, the way he kind of jerks around as if he’s semi-dancing. 

Geonu’s deficiencies are highlighted by how lovely and sweet Soomin’s voice is. He also has a nice spoken tone that gives warmth to his rapping. I don’t have much to say about Soomin’s performance because it was just sort of universally good. 

Seohyung surprised me, and I bet he surprised the judges, with how well he did here.  I’m calling it now -- they’re going to do an instant replay of his little growl at the 1:35 mark. His high notes sounded supported, and his deep notes were really satisfying.

I’m a bit on the fence about the arrangement and staging.  I love the idea of giving Seohyung the majority of Jamie’s lines, and having him sing them down an octave, so you have a bass coming in instead of an alto. Fun idea. But it did mean that Seohyung hung back for the first third of a three minute performance. I guess we’ll see what the judges think of that. I also wish there’d been more harmonies -- there are only maybe 10-15 seconds total where they’re singing in 3-part harmony. I would have liked to hear more. 

If I had to guess, I would assume the judges will give this round to Soomin’s team, if for no other reason than I’ve noticed that Korean judges tend to just sort of prefer awarding wins to older people. It’s a weird sort of age discrimination, where they are indulgent to young people, but also habitually prefer older people. I’m not convinced that Soomin’s team actually did better, though. 

In a fight between Soomin and Joohee, I’d say it’s a dead heat. 

In a fight between Yunseo and Seohyung, also, a dead heat. 

In a fight between Yeonwoo and Geonu, I choose Yeonwoo, no question. 

Judging based on team synergy and harmonies, I’d choose the maknae’s team. 

So yeah, I’d give the win to the maknae, but I still think the judges are going to give it to Soomin’s team. Let’s see what happens…. 

In the MNET edit, naturally, we get a lot of reactions to Soomin’s first few notes. And of course, when Seohyung starts to sing, the judges are delighted too. 

Ah, I was wrong, there’s no instant replay of Seohyung’s growl, but we do see Wendy make this face:

.. and we do get an instant replay of his lines “... so let’s just play the game.” Checks out. 

After Geonu says “take a little nap,” he does this weird little dance and makes weird faces and it’s very like, IDK, your cousin dancing at a party when he’s high on shrooms and no one wants to tell him no music is playing. You know? Very that. 

Baekho’s face speaks for all of us, I think:

When they’re done, of course everyone applauds.

Everyone is happy for Seohyung for trying something new and basically nailing it. 

Best pals Jay and Wumuti do their best Seohyung deep-voice impression:

It’s obviously very affectionate.

Dahee asks the judges what they thought. Jaehwan says that he got on his feet almost immediately for this performance. He says to all three, “your free, sexy, and fatal charms mesmerized me today,” then calls out Soomin for his excellent intro notes.

VCG praises the group’s teamwork and harmony, and then reminds Seohyung that he (VCG) had told Seohyung to change not his voice, but his expression and manner. And Seohyung did really well at doing just that. Also, his bass voice added a lot to a team with a high tenor like Geonu. 

Guest Judge Guy praises Seohyung for tackling a new genre. Yeah!

Baekho tries his best to tell Geonu to stop dancing like a dorky weirdo. He says, “Geonu, I think you have everything you need -- but the image you’re trying to portray kind of ruined the performance in general.” We’re reminded that Geonu did the same kind of thing in the other two performances. Baekho says that if Geonu could just tone that down, he could win a lot of fans. Is anyone going to mention his pitchiness or nasality or lack of vocal agility….? Just me…? Ok…

So, it’s time to get both teams up on stage to find out their fate.

The judges vote. Wendy notes that she might feel different if she’d heard the song in the opposite order. Not fair, then. Maybe watch a playback of both or something. 

The results are revealed…

Red is Soomin’s team, and blue is Team Maknae. Only Eunkwang voted for Team Maknae, so Soomin’s team wins. 

Dahee asks the winners to say a few words, and Geonu basically says he feels bad about the fact that the losing team is being eliminated, but promises to keep up the good work. Driver Yunseo says they performed with no regrets and enjoyed working together, and hopes to meet everyone again in the future.

They walk off stage together, and it looks as if Yunseo and Yeonwoo are both comforting Joohee. Aww.  Backstage, they say they’re a little sad that it’s over, but they aren’t crying. I think they were pretty much expecting to lose. Aww. 

Well, I really want to see all of them again in the future, and I think we will. Yunseo is signed to Mystic Story and Yeonwoo is signed to RBW -- both good agencies. I don’t know where Joohee is signed, or if he’s signed at all. However, things often shuffle around after shows like this, and it wouldn’t surprise me if Kim Minseo from Bain’s team ends up debuting with some or all of Team Maknae here in the next year or two. Team Maknae, fighting!

Soomin’s team has a group hug backstage and vows to stick it out to the end. 

And that brings us to the end of the round, and the end of this post! Thanks as always for being a friend! I'll see you in the next one.

[deathxproof-archive]

Making character pages, slowly but surely. For now. Have this. A tasting. A charcuterie board of muses to go hog wild with. Inquire within. * Indicates high activity muses~

BLEASE Check Out My RULES before taking your sample though.

*The Master-

Darvill!Master / fobwatched!Rory Master (currently the main one, for better or for worse.)(Read about Rory!Master and all his verses and stuff here) || Simm!Master || Dhawan!Master || Missy, a strong perhaps || Academy / Koschei Oakdown

The Doctor-

Ten (and now Fourteen, I Guess) || Eleven || Twelve || Thirteen, another strong perhaps || Academy / Theta Sigma (weirdly one of my highest activity Doctors currently? ¯\_(��)_/¯)

*Susan Foreman-

Read About Susan Here !! &lt;;33

450 year old Gallifreyan, the Doctor’s granddaughter, in her fifth regeneration, has one of the Master’s TARDISes, FC Angel Coulby.

*Rory Williams-

Read About Rory Williams (and Rory!Master) Here!

*Theta & Koschei (AU, Sort Of Mirror Verse)

Based on a few fanfic drafts of mine where a post-Last of the Time Lords 10th Doctor stumbles into a universe where not only is the Master still alive, he’s… Traveling? With the Doctor? Not that they’re using those names anymore, but… There’s a lot to catch up on, apparently. Theta and the Doctor look and sound exactly alike, but their timelines are fundamentally different.

What happens when the fix-it fic goes too far too far back, and the characters are now changed fundamentally as people.(Or are they?) A timeline where the Doctor and the Master ran away together before becoming enemies, and a timeline where the Time War didn’t end in destruction, and the implications of that.

Constantly looking out for the other, codependent to a fault, deeply entangled in one another psychically and socially and everything in between. My beloved beloathed freaks.

Kind of a Package Deal (but can & are written separately too— I encourage separating them. it’s never good.)

Jack Harkness-

What it says on the tin

He’s here and he’s Jack

Almost definitely my least active muse for now. Sowwy about that.

Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)-

What it says on the tin!

Absolutely brand new muses, first non-Doctor-Who muses, get them while they’re hot (always).

Still figuring them out, so also super low activity right now. Always welcome to bother for them, though, genuinely.

Various Flavors of Doctor Who OCs- (Largely Dormant, if any of them strike your fancy take your swing though.)

Johnny Chesterton- Ian and Barbara’s 22 year old nonbinary kid! Susan Foreman IV & V’s occasional traveling companion and good friend! A fine musician! FC: Colin Morgan

Molly Archer- trash fire of a pseudo-companion with a heap of lore I need to condense to something legible and decipherable. Has a weird codependent awkward cringefail relationship with a fobwatched version of the Doctor (John, Probably-Smith. See below.).

Catherine Archer- trash fire three-quarters-and-some-change-human daughter of Molly with her own heap of lore to be condensed into something legible and decipherable

John Smith(??)- The Doctor, fobwatched, because I can’t not throw those bad boys into the chameleon arch. Woke up human without knowing who the HELL he is or where he is. Clumsy to the point of harm. Doesn’t understand social cues for the life of him.

[96harmony96]

Chapter 9

I hurried through the security turnstiles of the Crossfire and grinned when I saw Cary waiting for me in the lobby.

“Hey, you,” I greeted him, admiring how he managed to make worn jeans and a V-neck T-shirt look expensive.

“Hey, stranger.” He held out his hand to me and we stepped out of the building through the side door hand-in-hand. “You’re looking happy.”

The noonday heat hit me like a physical barrier. “Ugh. It’s hot as hell. Let’s pick somewhere close. You up for tacos?”

“Hell yeah.”

I took him to the little Mexican place Megumi had introduced me to and tried not to let him see how guilty his greeting made me feel. I hadn’t been home in a couple of days and Lauren was planning a weekend trip away, which meant it would be another few days before I hung out with Cary again. It had been a relief when he’d agreed to meet me for lunch. I didn’t want to go too long without checking in with him and making sure he was all right.

“Got any plans tonight?” I asked, after ordering for both of us.

“One of the photographers I’ve worked with is having a birthday bash tonight. I figured I’d pop in for a bit and see how it goes.” He rocked back on his heels as we waited for our tacos and blended virgin margaritas. “You still planning on hanging with your boss’s sister? You guys wanna come with?”

“Sister-in-law,” I corrected. “And she’s got concert tickets. I’m her last hope, she said, but even if I wasn’t, I think it’ll be fun. At least I hope so. I’ve never heard of the band, so I’m just hoping they don’t suck.”

“Who is it?”

“Six-Ninths. Know ’em?”

His eyes widened. “Six-Ninths? Really? They’re good. You’ll like them.”

I grabbed our drinks off the counter and left the tray with our plates for him to carry. “You’ve heard of them and Shawna’s a big fan. Where have I been?”

“Under Jauregui and her hard place. You taking her with you?”

“Yes.” I hurried to grab a table as two businessmen stood to leave. I didn’t tell Cary about Lauren’s assertion that I couldn’t go without her. I knew that wouldn’t go over well with Cary, which made me wonder why I’d let it go as easily as I did. Usually Cary and I agreed about stuff like that.

“Can’t see Jauregui liking alt rock.” Cary sank fluidly into the chair across from me. “Does she know how much you like it? Especially the musicians who play it?”

I stuck my tongue out at him. “I can’t believe you brought that up. Ancient history.”

“So? Brett was hot. Ever think about him?”

“With shame.” I picked up one of the carne asada tacos. “So I try not to.”

“He was a decent guy,” Cary said, before slurping up a hefty swallow of margarita-flavored slush.

“I’m not saying he wasn’t. He just wasn’t good for me.” Just thinking about that time in my life made me want to squirm in embarrassment. Brett Kline was hot and he had a voice that made me wet just hearing it, but he was also one of the prime examples of an unfortunate choice in my previously sordid love life. “Moving on . . . You talk to Trey lately?”

Cary’s smile faded. “This morning.”

I waited patiently.

Finally, he sighed. “I miss him. Miss talking to him. He’s so fucking smart, you know? Like you. He’s going to that party with me tonight.”

“As friends? Or as a date?”

“These are really good.” He chewed a bite of one of his tacos before replying. “We’re supposed to be going as friends, but you know I’ll probably screw that up and fuck him. I asked him to meet me there and to head home from there so we’re not alone, but I can always bang him in the bathroom or a goddamn maintenance closet. I have no willpower and he can’t say no to me.”

My heart hurt at his dejected tone.

“I know what that’s like,” I reminded him softly. That’d been me once. I’d been so desperate to feel connected with somebody. “Why don’t you . . . you know . . . take care of it beforehand. Maybe that’ll help.”

A slow, mischievous smile spread across his handsome face. “Can I get you to record that for my voicemail message?”

I threw my wadded-up napkin at him.

He caught it with a laugh. “You can be such a prude sometimes. I love it.”

“I love you. And I want you to be happy.”

Lifting my hand to his lips, he kissed the back. “I’m working on it, baby girl.”

“I’m here if you need me, even if I’m not home.”

“I know.” He squeezed my hand before releasing it.

“I’ll be around a lot next week. Gotta get ready for my dad’s visit.” I bit into a taco and my feet did a little happy tap dance at how delicious it was. “I wanted to ask you about Friday. I’ve got to work, so if you’re around, would you keep an eye on him? I’ll stock up on the food he likes and leave him some city maps, but—”

“No problem.” Cary winked at a pretty blonde as she walked by. “He’ll be in good hands.”

“Want to see a show with us while he’s in town?”

“Camila honey, I’m always game to hang with you. Just let me know where and when, and I’ll keep things clear as much as possible.”

“Oh!” I quickly chewed and swallowed. “Mom told me she saw your pretty mug on the side of a bus the other day.”

He grinned. “I know. She forwarded a pic she’d taken with her phone. Awesome, right?”

“Beyond. We’ll need to celebrate,” I said, stealing his signature line.

“Hell yeah.”

* * *

 “Whoa!” Shawna paused on the sidewalk outside her Brooklyn apartment complex and gaped at the limousine idling in the street. “You went all out.”

“Not me,” I said dryly, checking out her tight red shorts and strategically slashed Six-Ninths screened T-shirt. Her bright hair had been pulled up and teased, and her lips were painted to match her shorts. She looked hot and ready to party, and I felt vindicated in my clothing choice of ultra-short black leather pleated skirt, fitted white ribbed tank top, and cherry red sixteen-eye Doc Martens.

Lauren, who’d had her back to us while talking to Angus, turned to face us, and I found myself as dumbstruck now as I’d been when I first saw her after she had showered and changed. She wore loose-fitting black jeans and a plain black T-shirt with heavy black boots and somehow made the severely casual combination look so fucking sexy, I wanted to jump her bones. As Dark and Dangerous as she was in a pantsuit, she was even more so when ready to rock. She looked younger and every bit as mouthwateringly gorgeous.

“Holy shit, tell me that’s for me,” Shawna whispered, gripping my wrist like a vise.

“Hey, you’ve got your own. That one’s mine.” And it gave me a huge thrill to say so. Mine to claim, to touch, to kiss. And later on, to fuck to exhaustion. Oh yeah . . .

She laughed when I rocked onto my tiptoes in anticipation. “All right. I’ll settle for an introduction.”

I did the honors, then waited for her to hop into the limo first. I was about to climb in after her when I felt Lauren’s hand slide up beneath my skirt to squeeze my butt.

She pressed against my back and whispered in my ear, “Make sure I’m standing behind you when you bend over, angel, or I’ll be spanking this pretty ass.”

Turning my head, I leaned my cheek against hers. “My period’s over.”

She growled, her fingertips biting into the flesh of my hip. “Why didn’t you tell me that earlier?”

“Delayed gratification, ace,” I told her, using a phrase she’d once tormented me with. I was laughing at her curse when I dropped onto the bench seat beside Shawna.

Angus slid behind the wheel and we headed out, breaking into a bottle of Armand de Brignac on the way. By the time we pulled up to Tableau One, a hot new fusion bistro that had a healthy line out front and energetic music pouring out onto the street, the combination of the champagne and Lauren’s hot gaze on the nearly indecent hemline of my skirt had me feeling giddy.

Shawna slid forward on the seat and stared wide-eyed through the tinted windows. “Doug tried to get us in here before he left, but the waiting list is two months long. You can walk up, but the wait can be hours and there’s no guarantee you’ll be seated.”

The limo door opened and Angus helped her out, then me. Lauren joined us, taking my arm as if we were dressed for a gala and not a rock concert. We were escorted inside so quickly, with the manager being so gushy and welcoming, that I looked at Lauren and mouthed, One of yours?

“Yes, in partnership.”

I just sighed, reconciled to the inevitable. “Is your friend going to meet us for dinner?”

Lauren gestured with an easy nod of her chin. “He’s already here.”

I followed her gaze to an attractive man sporting blue jeans and a Six-Ninths T-shirt. The gentleman was acting as the focal point in a photo op with two pretty women on each side. He smiled wide for the person wielding a smartphone camera, then waved at Lauren and excused himself.

“Oh my God.” Shawna bounced on her feet. “That’s Arnoldo Ricci! He owns this place. And he’s got a show on the Food Network!”

Lauren released me to clasp hands with Arnoldo and engage in the backslapping ritual of close friends. “Arnoldo, my girlfriend, Camila Camila.”

I extended my hand and Arnoldo grabbed it, pulled me closer, and kissed me straight on the mouth.

“Back off,” Lauren snapped, tugging me behind her.

Arnoldo grinned, his dark eyes flashing with humor. “And who’s this vision?” he asked, turning to Shawna and lifting her hand to his lips.

“Shawna, this will be your escort, Arnoldo Ricci, if he manages to survive dinner.” Lauren shot her friend a warning look. “Arnoldo, Shawna Ellison.”

She practically glowed. “My boyfriend’s a huge fan of yours. I am, too. He made your lasagna recipe once and it was. To. Die. For.”

“Lauren told me your man is in Sicily now.” Arnoldo’s voice was flavored with a delicious accent. “I hope you can make the time to visit with him there.”

My gaze darted to Lauren, knowing damn well I’d never given her that much information about Shawna’s boyfriend. She glanced down at me with a look of mock innocence and an almost imperceptible smirk.

I shook my head, exasperated, but I couldn’t deny that this would be a night Shawna would never forget.

The next hour passed in a blur of excellent food and fine wine. I was polishing off an extraordinary zabaione with raspberries when I caught Arnoldo watching me with a wide smile.

“Bellissima,” he praised. “Always a joy to see a woman with a healthy appetite.”

I flushed, slightly embarrassed. I couldn’t help it; I loved food.

Lauren draped her arm along the back of my chair and toyed with the hair at my nape. Her other hand lifted a glass of red wine to her mouth and when she licked her lips, I knew she was thinking about tasting me instead. Her desire was charging the air between us. I had been falling under its spell all through dinner.

Reaching beneath the tablecloth, I cupped her cock through her jeans and squeezed. She went from semihard to stone instantly but gave no other outward indication of her arousal.

I couldn’t help but see that as a challenge.

I began to stroke the rigid length of her with my fingers, careful to keep my movements slow and easy to prevent detection. To my delight, Lauren continued her conversation without a hitch in her voice or change of expression. Her control excited me, made me bolder. I reached for her button fly, turned on by the thought of releasing her and stroking her skin on skin.

Lauren took another leisurely sip, then set her wineglass down.

“Only you, Arnoldo,” she said dryly in response to something her friend had said.

My wrist was caught just as I tugged at the top button of her jeans. She lifted my hand to her lips, the gesture appearing to be an absentminded show of affection. The quick nip of her teeth into the pad of my finger caught me by surprise and made me gasp.

Arnoldo smiled; it was the knowing and slightly mocking smile one bachelor gave to another who’d been caught by a woman. He said something in Italian. Lauren replied, her pronunciation sounding fluid and sexy, her tone wry. Arnoldo threw his dark head back and laughed.

I squirmed in my seat. I loved seeing Lauren like this, relaxed and enjoying herself.

She looked at my empty dessert plate, then at me. “Ready to go?”

“Oh, yes.” I was dying to see how the rest of the night would go, how many more sides of Lauren I’d get to discover. Because I loved this side of the woman as much as I loved the powerful businesswoman in the suit and the dominant lover in my bed and the broken child who couldn’t hide her tears and the tender partner who held me when I cried.

She was so complex and still a huge mystery to me. I’d barely scratched the surface of who she was. Which didn’t stop me from being in too deep.

* * *

 “These guys are good!” Shawna yelled as the opening act barreled headlong into their fifth song.

We’d left our seats after the third, working our way through a writhing crowd to the railing that divided the seating area from the mosh pit in front of the stage. Lauren surrounded me, her arms caging me on both sides, her hands gripping the rail. The audience pressed in around us, collectively pushing forward, but I was cushioned from it by her body, just as Shawna was by Arnoldo beside us.

I was sure Lauren could have gotten us way better seats, but I didn’t have to tell her that the way Shawna had scored her fan-only tickets and the fact that she’d invited us meant her seats were our only option. I loved her for understanding that and for going with the flow.

Turning my head, I looked at her. “Is this band with Vidal, too?”

“No. But I like them.”

I was stoked that she was enjoying the show. Lifting my arms in the air, I screamed, feeling pumped by the energy of the crowd and the driving beat. I danced within the circle of Lauren’s arms, my body drenched in sweat, my blood raging.

When the act was done, the stagehands quickly set to work breaking down the equipment and setting up for Six-Ninths. Grateful for the evening, for the joy, for the awesomeness of going wild with the woman I loved, I turned and threw my arms around Lauren’s neck, mashing my lips to hers.

She lifted me and urged my legs around her waist, kissing me violently. She was hard and pressing against me, luring me to grind into her. Around us people whistled and catcalled things that ranged from “Get a room” to “Fuck her, man!” but I didn’t care and neither did Lauren, who seemed as swept away by the sensual craziness as I was. Her hand on my buttocks rocked me into her erection while the other fisted in my hair, holding me where she wanted me as she kissed me as if she couldn’t stop, as if she were starving for the taste of me.

Our open mouths slid desperately across each other. She tongued me deep and fast, fucking my mouth, making love to it. I drank her in, licking and tasting, moaning at her insatiable need. She sucked on my tongue, the circle of her lips sliding along it. It was too much. I was slick and aching for her cock, nearly frantic with the need to feel her filling me.

“You’re going to make me come,” she growled, before tugging on my bottom lip with her teeth.

I was so into her and the ferocity of her passion for me that I barely registered when Six-Ninths started. It wasn’t until the vocals kicked in that I was jolted back to where I was.

I stiffened, my mind clawing its way up through the fog of desire to process what I was hearing. I knew the song. My eyes opened as Lauren pulled back. Over her shoulder I saw handwritten signs held up in the air.

BRETT KLINE IS MINE! And BANG ME, BRETT! And my personal favorite, BRETT, I’D HIT IT WITH YOU LIKE THE WRATH OF GOD!!!

Hell. What were the chances?

And Cary had known, of course. He’d known and hadn’t warned me. Probably thought it’d be hysterical for me to find out by accident instead.

My legs loosened from around Lauren’s hips and she set me down, protecting me from the frenzied fans with the shield of her body. I turned to face the stage, feeling a mad fluttering in my belly. Sure enough, it was Brett Kline at the mic, his deep, powerful, sexy-as-hell voice pouring over the thousands who’d come to see him in action. His short hair was spiked and tipped with platinum, his lean body clothed in olive cargo pants and a black tank top. It was impossible to see from where I was, but I knew his eyes were a brilliant emerald green, his face was ruggedly handsome, and his killer smile revealed a dimple that drove women crazy.

Tearing my eyes away from him, I looked at the other band members, recognizing all of them. They hadn’t been called Six-Ninths back in San Diego, though. They’d been called Captive Soul then, and I wondered what had led to the name change.

“Good, aren’t they?” Lauren asked with her mouth to my ear so I could hear her. She had one hand on the railing and the other around my waist, keeping me pulled up tight against her as she moved to the music. The combination of her body and Brett’s voice did insane things to my already raging sex drive.

I closed my eyes, focusing on the woman behind me and the unique rush I’d always felt while listening to Brett sing. The music throbbed through my veins, bringing back memories—some good and some bad. I swayed in Lauren’s arms, desire pounding through me. I was achingly aware of her hunger. It poured off her like heat waves, sinking into me, making me crave her until the physical distance between us was painful.

Grabbing the hand she had pressed flat against my stomach, I urged it downward.

“Camila.” Her voice was harsh with lust. I’d been pushing her all night, from the moment I told her my period was over, to the hand job beneath the restaurant table, to the scorching kiss in the intermission.

She gripped my bare thigh and squeezed. “Open.”

I set my left foot on the bottom of the railing. My head fell back against her shoulder and a heartbeat later, her hand was under my skirt. Her tongue traced the shell of my ear, her breathing hard and fast. I felt her groan as much as heard it when she discovered how wet I was.

One song blended into another. Lauren rubbed me through the crotch of my boyshorts, moving in circles, then vertically through my cleft. My hips rolled into her touch, my core clenching, my ass grinding into the hard ridge of her erection. I was going to come right there, inches away from dozens of people, because that was what Lauren did to me. That was how insanely she turned me on. Nothing mattered when her hands were on me, her attention completely riveted to me.

“That’s it, angel.” Her fingers pushed my underwear aside and two sank into me. “I’m going to fuck this gorgeous cunt for days.”

With bodies pressing in all around us, music pounding over us, and privacy granted only by distraction, Lauren slid her fingers deep into my soaked sex and stayed there. The solid, unmoving penetration drove me wild. I ground my hips into her hand, working toward the orgasm I needed so desperately.

The song ended and the lights went out. Drenched in darkness, the crowd roared. Anticipation weighted the audience, building until the strum of guitar strings broke the heavy expectation. Shouts rang out, then lighters flickered to life, turning the sea of people into thousands of fireflies.

A spotlight hit the stage, revealing Brett sitting on a bar stool, shirtless and glistening with sweat. His chest was hard and defined, his abs ridged with muscle. He lowered the height of the microphone stand and the piercings in his nipples glittered with his movements. The women in the audience screamed, including Shawna, who jumped in place and gave an ear splitting whistle.

I totally got it. Sitting there as he was, with his feet propped on the rungs of the chair and his muscular arms covered in sleeves of black and gray tattoos, Brett looked insanely sexy and extremely fuckable. For six months nearly four years ago I’d debased myself to get him naked every chance I could, so infatuated with him and desperate to be loved that I took whatever scraps he threw me.

Lauren’s fingers began to slide in and out of me. The bass kicked in. Brett began to sing a song I’d never heard before, his voice low and soulful, the words crystal clear. He had the voice of a fallen angel. Mesmerizing. Seductive. And the face and body to enhance the temptation.

Golden girl, there you are.

I’m singing for the crowd, the music’s loud.

I’m living my dream, riding the high,

But I see you there, sunlight in your hair,

And I’m ready to go, desperate to fly.

Golden girl, there you are.

Dancing for the crowd, the music’s loud.

I want you so bad. I can’t look away.

Later, you’ll drop to your knees. You’ll beg me please.

And then you’ll go, it’s only your body I know.

Golden girl, where’d you go?

You’re not there, with sunlight in your hair.

I could have you in the bar or the back of my car,

But never your heart. I’m falling apart.

I’ll drop to my knees, I’ll beg you. Please.

Please don’t go. There’s so much more I want to know.

Camila, please. I’m on my knees.

Golden girl, where’d you go?

I’m singing for the crowd, the music’s loud.

And you’re not there, with sunlight in your hair.

Camila, please. I’m on my knees.

 The spotlight went dark. A long moment passed as the music faded. Then the lights came back on and the drums exploded with sound. The flames winked out and the crowd went crazy.

But I was lost to the roaring in my ears, the tightness in my chest, and a confusion that had me reeling.

“That song,” Lauren growled in my ear, her fingers fucking me forcefully, “makes me think of you.”

Her palm pressed into my clit and massaged, and I climaxed in a rush that took me by storm. Tears came to my eyes. I cried out, shaking in her arms. Gripping the railing in front of me, I held on and let the unstoppable pleasure pulse through me.

* * *

 When the show was over, all I could think about was getting to a phone and calling Cary. While we waited for the crowd to thin, I leaned heavily into Lauren, drawing support from the strength of her arms around me.

“You okay?” she asked, running her hands up and down my back.

“I’m fine,” I lied. Honestly, I didn’t know how I was feeling. It shouldn’t matter that Brett wrote a song about me that painted a different light on our fuck-buddy history. I was in love with someone else.

“I want to go, too,” she murmured. “I’m dying to get inside you, angel. I can barely think straight.”

I pushed my hands into the back pockets of her jeans. “So let’s get out of here.”

“I’ve got backstage access.” She kissed the tip of my nose when I leaned back to look up at her. “We don’t have to tell them, if you’d rather get out of here.”

I seriously debated it for a moment. After all, the night had been great as it was, thanks to Lauren. But I knew it’d bother me later, if I denied Shawna and Arnoldo—who was also a Six-Ninths fan—something they’d remember for the rest of their lives. And I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to myself that I wanted to catch a glimpse of Brett up close. I didn’t want him to see me, but I wanted to see him. “No. Let’s take them back there.”

Lauren grabbed my hand and spoke to our friends, whose excitement over the news gave me the excuse to say I’d done it solely for them. We headed down toward the stage, then off to the side of it, where Lauren spoke to the massive man acting as security. When the guy spoke into the mic of his headset, Lauren pulled out her cell and told Angus to bring the limo around to the back. While she spoke, her eyes met mine. The heat in them and the promise of pleasure took my breath away.

“Your woman is the ultimate,” Shawna said, eyeing Lauren with a look of near reverence. It wasn’t a predatory look, just an appreciative one. “I can’t believe this night. I owe you big-time for this.”

She pulled me in for a quick, hard hug. “Thank you.”

I hugged her back. “Thank you for inviting me.”

A tall, rangy man with blue streaks in his hair and stylish black-framed glasses approached us. “Miss. Jauregui,” he greeted Lauren, extending his hand. “I didn’t know you’d be coming tonight.”

Lauren shook the man’s hand. “I didn’t tell you,” she replied smoothly, reaching her other hand out to me.

I caught it and he pulled me forward, introducing me to Robert Phillips, Six-Ninths’ manager. Shawna and Arnoldo were introduced next; then we were led back through the wings, where activity was high and groupies loitered.

I suddenly didn’t want to catch even a glimpse of Brett. It was so easy to forget how it’d been between us while I was listening to him sing. It was so easy to want to forget after listening to the song he’d written. But that time in my past was something I was far from proud of.

“The band’s right in here,” Robert was saying, gesturing to an open door from which music and raucous laughter poured out. “They’ll be excited to meet you.”

My feet dug in suddenly and Lauren paused, glancing at me with a frown.

I pushed up onto my toes and whispered, “I’m not all that interested in meeting them. If you don’t mind, I’m going to hit the backstage bathroom and head out to the limo.”

“Can you wait a few minutes and I’ll go with you?”

“I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about me.”

She touched my forehead. “Are you feeling alright angel? You look flushed.”

“I’m feeling great. I’ll show you exactly how great as soon as we get home.”

That did the trick. Her frown faded and her mouth curved. “I’ll hurry this along, then.” She looked at Robert Phillips and gestured at Arnoldo and Shawna. “Can you take them in? I need a minute.”

“Lauren, really . . .” I protested.

“I’m walking you over there.”

I knew that tone. I let her walk me the twenty feet to the bathroom. “I can take it from here, ace.”

“I’ll wait.”

“Then we’ll never get out of here. Go do your thing. I’ll be fine.”

She gave me a very patient look. “Camila, I’m not leaving you alone.”

“I can manage. Seriously. The exit is right there.” I pointed down the hall to the open double doors beneath a lighted exit sign. Roadies were already transporting equipment out. “Angus is right out there, isn’t he?”

Lauren leaned her shoulder into the wall and crossed her arms.

I threw up my hands. “Okay. Fine. Have it your way.”

“You’re learning, angel,” she said with a smile.

Muttering under my breath, I went into the bathroom and took care of business. As I washed up at the sink, I looked into the mirror and winced. I had raccoon eyes from sweating so damn much and my pupils were dark and dilated.

“What does she see in you?” I asked myself derisively, thinking of how awesome she still looked. As hot and sweaty as she’d been, she looked none the worse for wear, while I looked damp and limp. But more so than my exterior, it was my personal failings I was thinking of. I couldn’t get away from them. Not while Brett was in the same building with us.

I rubbed a dampened square of paper towel under my eyes to get rid of the black smudges, then headed back out to the hall. Lauren waited a few feet away, talking with Robert, or more accurately, listening to him. The band’s manager was clearly excited about something.

Lauren spotted me and held up a hand to get me to wait a minute, but I didn’t want to take the risk. I gestured down the hall at the exit, then turned and headed that way before she could stall me. I hurried past the green room door, chancing a quick glance inside to see Shawna laughing with a beer in her hand. The room was packed and boisterous, and she looked like she was having a great time.

I made my escape with a sigh of relief, feeling ten times lighter the moment I left. Spotting Angus standing next to Lauren’s limo on the far side of the line of buses, I waved and set off toward him.

Looking back on the night, I was tantalized by how uninhibited Lauren had been. She sure as hell hadn’t been the woman who’d used mergers and acquisitions as parlance for getting me into bed.

I couldn’t wait to get her naked.

A burst of flame in the darkness to my right startled me. I jolted to a halt and watched Brett Kline lift a match to the clove cigarette hanging from his lips. As he stood in the shadows to the side of the exit, the flickering light of the flame caressed his face and threw me back in time for a long minute.

He glanced up, caught me in his gaze, and froze. We stared at each other. My heart kicked into a mad beat, a combination of excitement and apprehension. He cursed suddenly, shaking out the match as it burned his fingers.

I took off, struggling to maintain a casual pace as I made a beeline for Angus and the limo.

“Hey! Hold up,” Brett shouted. I heard his footsteps approaching at a jog, and adrenaline surged through me. A roadie was pushing a flat hand truck loaded with heavy gear and I darted around him, using him as cover to duck between two buses. I pressed my back flat against the side of one, standing between two open cargo compartments. I cringed into the shadows, feeling like a coward, but knowing I had nothing to say to Brett. I wasn’t the girl he knew anymore.

I watched him rush by. I decided to wait, give him time to look and give up. I was hyper aware of the time passing, of the fact that Lauren would be looking for me soon.

“Camila.”

I flinched at the sound of my name. Turning my head, I found Brett approaching from the other side. While I’d been looking to the right, he’d come up on the left.

“It is you,” he said roughly. He dropped his clove smoke on the ground and crushed it beneath his boot.

I heard myself saying something familiar. “You should quit.”

“So you keep telling me.” He approached cautiously. “You saw the show?”

I nodded and stepped away from the bus, backing up. “It was awesome. You guys sound really great. I’m happy for you.”

He took a step forward for every one of mine backward. “I was hoping I’d find you like this, at one of the shows. I had a hundred different ideas about how it might go if I saw you at one.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. The tension between us was so thick it was hard to breathe.

The attraction was still there.

It was nothing like what I felt with Lauren. Nothing more than a shadow of that, but it was there nonetheless.

I retreated back out into the open, where the activity was high and there were lots of people milling around.

“Why are you running?” he asked. In the pool of light from a parking lot lamp, I saw him clearly. He was even better looking than before.

“I can’t . . .” I swallowed. “There’s nothing to say.”

“Bullshit.” The intensity of his glare burned through me. “You stopped coming around. Didn’t say a word, just stopped showing up. Why?”

I rubbed at the knot in my stomach. What was I going to say? I finally grew a pair and decided I deserved better than to be one of the many chicks you fucked in a bathroom stall between sets?

“Why, Camila? We had something going and you just fucking disappeared.”

Turning my head, I looked for Lauren or Angus. Neither was anywhere in sight. The limo waited alone. “It was a long time ago.”

Brett lunged forward and caught me by the arms, startling me, briefly frightening me with the sudden aggressive movement. If we hadn’t been so near other people, it might have triggered panic.

“You owe me an explanation,” he bit out.

“It’s not—”

He kissed me. He had the softest lips, and he sealed them over mine and kissed me. By the time I registered what was happening, he’d tightened his grip on my arms and I couldn’t move away. Couldn’t push him away.

And for a brief span of time I didn’t want to.

I even kissed him back, because the attraction was still there and it soothed something hurting inside me to think I might’ve been more than a convenient piece of ass. He tasted like cloves, smelled seductively like hard working male, and he took my mouth with all the passion of a creative soul. He was familiar, in very intimate ways.

But in the end, it didn’t matter that he got to me still. It didn’t matter that we had a history, painful as it was for me. It didn’t matter that I was flattered and affected by the lyrics he’d written, that after six months of watching him enjoy other women while nailing me anywhere with a door that locked, it was me he was thinking about when he seduced screaming-for-it women from the stage.

None of that mattered because I was madly in love with Lauren Jauregui, and she was what I needed.

I wrenched away with a gasp—

—and faced Lauren charging at a dead run, her speed unchecked as she rammed into Brett and took him down.

*Sorry for the long wait. Forgot I was even converting this. Let me know if there are any mistakes. enjoy!! 

[jestershark]

Queer music heritage is such a good site (check out that early 2000s web design!) Tiny was in fact One Of Us and dating the drummer of the band.

"Ya gotta love a woman who names her band the Hell Divers. But that's just a delicious morsel of her musical history. That was Ernestine "Tiny" Davis. She was popular as both a trumpet player and vocalist beginning in the early 1940s, when she joined the band The International Sweethearts of Rhythm.

Big bands were popular during the war years and as there was a shortage of male bands that female band was formed. And it was extremely successful, packing houses until it chose to disband in 1948. At one point Louis Armstrong tried to hire Tiny Davis away from the Sweethearts, offering her ten times the pay, but she just wouldn't leave her girls.

One of her girls was the drummer, Ruby Lucas, and they were partners for 40 years.

But that glossed over a lot. For example, the band International Sweethearts of Rhythm were formed out of a school for black orphans in Mississippi, the Piney Woods School, training their girls to play instruments in an effort to help financially support the school. After achieving some national attention the band cut ties with the school and moved to Virginia, and began recruiting some more seasoned professional musicians, including Tiny.

An interesting angle is that not only was this an all-female band, quite unusual in the early 1940's, but that the members were diverse racially (black, Asian, Latina, Indian, etc) which certainly lived up to the International in their name. Another interesting aspect was when they performed in the deep south the Caucasian members would have to apply dark make-up when performing to avoid violent racism or being arrested by the police.

Back to the early 1940's, when the Sweethearts were at their peak a film was even made about them, with fortunately some clips on Youtube. And they could swing! Tiny Davis shows up prominently at the 7:20 mark.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpNjAmQmq90

After the war, with the male musicians back home, bookings got harder for the Sweethearts, and they disbanded in 1948. Tiny then went on directly to form her own band, billed as Tiny Davis & the Hell Divers, though the three 78 rpm records she released on Decca, in 1949, were all billed as Tiny Davis & Her Orchestra. Whatever the name, she got many national bookings.

Still, in post-war times work was harder to find for women jazz musicians, so she and Ruby opened their own club, in Chicago, called Tiny & Ruby's Gay Spot, guaranteeing them permanent gigs. In 1958 the city took over the property to build an expressway and she played other Chicago clubs for awhile, until arthritis sidelined her."

Trumpeter Ernestine ‘Tiny’ Davis and saxophonist Willie Mae ‘Rabbit’ Wong traveling with the International Sweethearts on a European USO tour.

[heartpicks]

@ofurizen ━━ prompted.

" don't overdo it . "

         rei   was   free   today   and   as   a   good   friend   she   saw   it   as   her   duty   to   check   on   ellie.   the   two   knew   each   other   since   childhood   but   circumstances   separated   them.   so   much   time   had   passed   and   they   changed,   now   it   felt   like   they   were   just   strangers   with   shared   memories.   still,   rei   refused   to   give   up   on   their   friendship.   she   wanted   to   rebuild   it,   she   wanted   to   get   to   know   ellie   again.   so   in   hopes   to   reconnect,   rei   sometimes   visited   the   other   at   her   workplace   ━   the   local   library.   ellie   was   never   a   big   talker,   thus   the   musician   wanted   to   show   with   actions   just   how   serious   and   determined   she   was   to   be   friends.   while   she   was   not   employed   at   the   library   herself,   she   did   arrange   an   agreement   that   she   could   help   out   from   time   to   time.   hour   after   hour   passed,   climbing   ladders   up   and   down,   walking   from   one   shelf   to   the   next,   carrying   books   and   pushing   carts   around,   organizing   every   title   and   occasionally   striking   up   a   conversation   with   a   stranger.   

         she   didn't   mind   helping,   she   loved   it.   even   without   ellie   as   her   main   reason,   she   would   give   it   her   all.   though,   despite   her   determination,   her   body   could   only   go   so   far.   rei   wanted   ellie   to   have   a   more   or   less   calm   work   day,   especially   because   of   her   anemia.   in   the   process   though,   it   seems   that   the   musician   had   forgotten   about   her   own   well   being.   suddenly   her   body   begins   to   stagger   and   sway.   as   a   result   she   drops   the   books   in   her   hands   and   she   tips   to   the   side,   almost   crashing   into   a   shelf.   before   misfortune   gets   a   chance   to   strike   however,   something   shields   her   fall.   the   female   bumps   into   someone's   chest. "i'm   s-sorry."   she   stammers   out   an   apology.   then   she   glances   up   at   the   other   and   lets   out   a   small   gasp.   how   embarrassing!   

         taking   a   step   back,   she   gently   held   onto   the   man's   arm   to   support   herself.   'don't   overdo   it.'   as   the   words   hit   her   she   takes   a   moment   to   rest.   this   exhaustion...   how   long   had   she   ignored   her   body?   she   couldn't   help   anyone   like   this.   a   sigh   escapes   her   before   she   turns   to   look   at   v.   this   must   be   the   third   time   they   crossed   paths   this   week.   "thank   you.   i   think...   i'll   take   a   break."   she   gives   a   weak   smile.   "do   you   want   to   keep   me   company?"

[tolbachik]

Hi again! How’s it going? Thank you for your kind words, I’ll be sure to give myself a break if I need it ^^

Once I finish my Latin education, I might want to go on to study ancient Greek. The language has always fascinated me, though I’ve always procrastinated on learning it. I’ve also considered making videos analyzing Roman graffiti, but I’d have to get over my camera shyness first haha. People tend to focus on the funnier graffiti, which is understandable, but I think other kinds of graffiti deserve love too :]

Are there any thing you plan on learning, or that you’d like learn if you had the means? It could be anything, a craft, a language, an instrument :D

Clemens!! I always liked Clemens, I remember being so happy when he was able to escape Pompeii, but was kinda disappointed that he only showed up for one chapter in book two :[ I remember not paying much attention to Quintus in the first book, but I really came around to him in the next two books :]

I always loved Uranus, I felt like it was such an under-appreciated planet. I remember just thinking that it looked really cool as a kid haha. I also was always interested in Neptune, partially because of its elusiveness.

In your last response you brought up being interested in space travel as well. Do you have any favorite space missions? :]

Also don’t worry about getting to my recommendations right away! I have to be in a music listening mood to appreciate an album, so I totally relate to that feeling of being in a musical rut!

Also, that video of Norma Tanega is so cute! I love when you can tell that a musician truly loves what they’re doing! I’ll have to check out the redr of her other music sometime :D

I like to write about historical topics and media analysis. I especially like to connect modern media back to ancient myths, and sorta analyze why these kinds of narratives are so appealing to people. I also like to write about misconceptions we have about the ancient world, specifically Greece and Rome, since those are what I’m most familiar with. Though looking into disproving these myths is fun in itself, I also like to try and find how the myth formed and why it was perpetuated! I just think it’s so interesting how you can tell a lot about a culture based on what stories they tell :] Sorry that this was kinda long winded, I got a little carried away haha ^^’

Also, I definitely understand having a hard time sharing writing. I always get a bit bashful when showing people my art or writing, even online. It feels very vulnerable to put your work out there, so I totally get it. Once you start looking for beta readers, I’d love to volunteer! Admittedly, I’m a bit of a slow reader, so I might not be the best at beta reading, but I’d love to give it a shot! :D

I’m glad you were able to tackle that problem! I love ruminating on things in my mind as well. There's something so satisfying about figuring out the solution to a problem after thinking about it in the shower haha

I know you’re a writer, but do you like to read as well? If so, do you have any favorite books? :D

I’m so happy these asks make your day! I always look forward to reading your responses and writing the next one. SRS came up during a kinda tumultuous time for me, and it has really helped to keep me grounded and gave me something to anticipate every day. Your responses mean a lot to me, and I always love to hear what you have to say! I hope you have a good day/night! :]

- 🎲

Hello again! So sorry for the delay; yesterday was fairly busy for me, so I didn't really get a chance to reply! Thank you for your patience, I really appreciate it.

Oh wow, that sounds like a lot of fun! If you decide to go through with it, I hope you enjoy it a lot! Now, I forget; did they have a Cambridge Greek course as well, or just Latin? And that's totally fair; with Latin alone I'm sure you had a lot on your plate, so take the time you need before you move on to Greek! If you do ever make videos, I'd love to watch them. I know very little about Roman graffiti, so it'd be fun to learn more! Any examples you'd like to share?

Hmm, well, I would really like to learn how to read sheet music and play piano if I ever got the energy or time. I know a tiny bit, and how to play a few parts of a few songs, but nothing major beyond that, really! What about you? Aside from languages, what other stuff do you want to try to learn in life?

Right? He definitely deserved more attention, I think! I forget quite a bit, but I think Quintus did some pretty good stuff towards the end of it all, right? I'm so glad people are still reading those books, they're such a good way to introduce people to the language, I think!

The ice giants are both great; I truly hope we can get something out there again soon! From what I understand, China is potentially going to have a small probe perform a flyby of Uranus in the 2040s, but I don't know if they'll go through with it or not. No clue if we'll ever get anything for Neptune, but here's to hoping! 😭 I'd have to say Skylab! Not for anything special it did, but I feel like it was one of the last things that encompassed the dreams of the 60s and 70s, y'know? Of a future with civilians living and working in space, but obviously things didn't turn out that way lol Aside from that, I think the Soviet Zond 5 was interesting scientifically, since it was the first mission to carry life to the Moon! It was two turtles, a few fruit fly eggs, and some seeds. They all survived too, thankfully! A little starved, but they made it! Ah, quite the opposite! Talking to you has gotten me back into listening to music again, and I've enjoyed it all so far! Thank you so much, I really do mean it. Sometimes I just get tired of listening to music, but having new stuff is a great help! And I hope you enjoy the rest of Norma Tanega's stuff; she's very nice to listen to, and had a great personality from what it seems. Please, talk about your interests as much as you want! I love seeing people be so passionate about things, it really warms my heart. I'd love to hear of some misconceptions people have; I'm sure I've fallen for a few, as well! On top of that, what's your favorite myth you've encountered so far? I love talking about ancient civilizations as well, although I've read more about Pre-Columbian civilizations more than I have others!

It's hard sharing anything you yourself make, isn't it? It's such a vulnerable thing to do, to have complete strangers or even friends see the things you've made. I'm sure it gets easier with time, but I'm sure there'll always be that little bit of shyness, no matter what. I'd love to see what sort of things you've made, if you ever feel like sharing! And there's no rush at all; it's a lot to read, so there's no pressure at all. I'm just thankful that you're willing, it means a lot to me! Thank you! I think the best/worst part is when it's late at night or early in the morning, and it just suddenly hits you; you have to write it down or else you'll forget and fall back asleep! It's happened to me more than I can count lol That's a good question! I like some older scifi authors like Isaac Asimov, Arthur C. Clarke, and Douglas Adams, but I also like some nonfiction writers like Marshall T. Savage (his "The Millennial Project" was a huge inspiration for me growing up!), Michael Pollan, and Charles C. Mann are all great too. What about you? Aww, same here! And I'm so sorry things have been rough for you lately; I hope they settle down for you, and that you can enter a calm and happy era of your life once more. I know you're on anon and we still don't know each other all too well, but if you ever need anything, let me know! Please take care, and have a great rest of your day! Talk to you again soon!

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #148

Have you ever seen an alligator? Yes, both in the zoo and wild.

When you first wake up do you check your cellular device? Yes, because I'll wanna know what time it is.

How well do you think you’d... work out, in a Christian school? Well this depends; my last college was actually a Christian college, but they didn't push any sort of doctrine onto students; I loved the school, even, they were great people. HOWEVER, if I was pressured into a religion by a school (isn't that illegal, anyway?), I'd get kicked out real fuckin fast.

Do you like Kanye West? Nope, not as a musician and DEFINITELY not as a person.

Do you have any lockets? No, I've always kinda wanted one though, haha.

Do you make kissy faces in pictures? ugh no I'd rather you just shoot me

Do you know your social security number (or equivalent) off by heart? At this moment, I do, but I very often forget the first three numbers.

Do you know a Stephen? I don't.

Green or purple? Purple.

Have you ever watched a meteor shower? No, I wish!!!

Has religion ever come between you and somebody? Yes. It's especially the reason I'm not friends with Mini anymore, because due to her faith, she was trans/homophobic and also extremely pro-life. Her selling pro-life stickers and stuff following the overturning of Roe v. Wade was the final fucking straw, like congrats for benefiting from women having their fucking lives ruined.

Ever have an ultra-sound performed on you? What was it for? Yes, something about my liver as a teenager, I don't remember the details. Everything was fine.

How long has your favorite animal been your favorite animal? Since 2005 when Meerkat Manor came out; I was nine.

When was the last time you spoke to your mom? Lil while ago in the kitchen.

Do you have an Instagram? I have three, one being a personal one and the other two for different types of photography.

If so how many posts do you have? None have a whole lot, but I don't care at all to count.

Can you juggle? Absolutely not, never been able to.

What’s your favorite color combination? Probably black and gold.

Have you ever seen your favorite animal in real life? Only once at the zoo in 5th grade. :( They moved them somewhere else afterwards.

Does your cat purr really loud? (if you have a cat) Haha yes, Girt refers to his louder purring as "lawnmowering" and it's so accurate.

What’s your mom’s name? Donna.

Do you have multiple friends with the same name? Not really "multiple," no. The only case where name confusion happens sometimes is when me or mom and Girt's family say "Ashley," because both myself and Girt have an older sister named Ashley. We kinda just have to use context clues to know which one, but even then there have been instances of not realizing the other Ashley was the subject.

Have you ever gotten up in the middle of the night just to talk to someone? No, but someone has done this for me, and I'm going to be pained for my entire life that I never got to hug and thank her.

Do you watch The Simpsons or any other cartoons? No.

What's your favorite kind of jam/jelly? Grape.

What have you last been diagnosed with? Hypothyroidism, officially, following some blood tests after being taken off my old thyroid med to get a baseline; it's apparently majorly severe, which explains a WHOLE fuckin lot. I'm on a different (and supposedly more effective) med now and will get more tests later to hopefully see it stabilize.

What was the last restaurant you ate at? Red Robin, for Mother's Day.

Do you believe in psychic ability? Absolutely not and it's infuriating that people are willing to scam generally vulnerable people like that. So-called "mediums" are even worse.

When did you last have pizza delivered? It's been a good while. I've been craving pizza actually, but I'm avoiding even suggesting it as best I can, especially after meeting my nutritionist and having fresh motivation to eat better.

What's your favorite decoration in your place of residence? I'm not sure, we have quite a lot of stuff up, especially in the living room.

Have you ever held a chicken? I know I've held a chick, but never an adult.

Are you hard to please? No.

What’s your least favorite genre of TV show? I hate those shows like Maury or Jerry Springer shit, stuff that puts people's private lives on display for ridicule and likewise purposes.

What’s your least favorite genre of music? Probably country. I'm not into rap either, but at least sometimes the non-vocals are fun or interesting.

What physical traits have you inherited from your father? Idk, nothing that is extremely obvious, at least to me. I'm pretty sure Dad was born dirty blonde though, and I was too, but his hair turned black and mine brown.

How about your mother? Height and general weight, but she's still smaller than me, especially post-chemo. Our skin is also similar, both in paleness and also freckling, at least on my arms. She has it more widespread and obvious than I do.

Which friend of yours has the prettiest, most unique name? I have always thought Alon was a beautiful name. I've never met or known another person with it.

When it comes to nose piercings, do you prefer a ring or stud? Studs.

Does your job have any restrictions on piercings and tattoos? What are they? I'm unemployed, and while I know there's plenty of people who would call it petty, I wouldn't take a job that perpetuated the "tattoos and piercings are unprofessional" shit.

Do you want or have your belly button pierced? It's not and never has been; if I had a certain kind of body, I'd absolutely get it done, but for some reason I'm really weird about me personally getting one at my size, despite the fact I'd cheer seeing another woman my size getting it done. I'm just very uncomfortable drawing attention to my abdomen.

Ever been in a physical fight? How did it go? Nope.

Do you like swimming? Do you have a pool? I like swimming a lot actually, I love being in water and even more I love the sound of it, I like watching light on it... but I don't swim a lot, partially because I hate getting changed out of wet bathing suits (and I actually wear swimming pants too because I don't want to show my legs, and THEY'RE the worst getting off), but also we don't have a pool. Growing up we did, but at this house and the last one, we didn't.

Is anyone you know racist or sexist? How do you feel about it? Oh certainly, especially here in the south; you see racism more, but both are fucking awful and I openly think you're fucking garbage if you hold prejudices like these.

Do you like mint-flavored gum? Yep.

If you house with your parents, do you pay rent to live at home? Why or why not? Do you know if your parents will ever make you pay rent? If so, when? I'm unemployed, so no. Even whenever I do get a job, I'm doubtful Mom would ask me to, but I'm immediately contributing whether she likes it or not.

Ever have sex outside of a relationship? No, that's not for me.

If a taken person pursued you and you were interested, would you do anything with them? No, I'm not going to be someone's second choice.

If you had a hot cousin, would you have sexual relations with them? Jesus Christ, no. Incest is majorly fucking gross to me.

Have your exes gotten better looking since you dated them? I don't know; I haven't seen most since we dated. I've seen a single picture of Jason in more recent times, in which he had full facial hair, but it was a candid photo at an angle so I couldn't really digest how different he really looked.

How often do you expect your SO to talk to you (either through texting, phone calls, etc)? I would be concerned if he didn't message me for an entire day, because we generally talk quite a bit throughout every day. I'd worry something was wrong.

How tall do you stand? Haha I found out the other day at the doctor I'm exactly 5'4.6'', so that's why I hear 5'4'' from some people and 5'5'' from others.

How many people are in your family? I consider my immediate/most base "family" to be my parents, two full-blooded sisters (I just don't see/interact with the halves enough... though I wish I did), my older sister's three children, and Girt, his sister, her son, and Girt's mom. Oh, and I guess Kim too, Dad's wife, but she will NEVER be what my biological mom is to me; I don't even call her "Mom" or anything of the sort, she's just Kim. AND THE PETS!!! Roman, Venus, and Cookie are all absolutely family in my eyes, and even Girt's dog Charlie that I haven't seen THAT many times is family to me.

What color is your keyboard? Black, but the keys light up red.

Do you have a laptop or a desktop? Laptop, it's a lot more convenient imo.

What were you doing at midnight last night? I'm pretty sure Girt left right around that time, but I was nearly asleep so am not totally sure.

What woke you up this morning? At some point my body did naturally, and I just barely dragged myself out of bed to go take my thyroid med (I have to take it at least 30 minutes before eating and my other meds), and then I didn't wake back up until Mom got me up for my psychiatry appointment.

Are you picky about who you give your number to? Oh for sure, I barely have any contacts in my phone.

Are you afraid of roller coasters? Yes, very.

Do you know anyone who suffers from depression? Yes, myself among MANY other people.

[TW: DRUG USE] Have you ever injected a drug? No, not into that whatsoever.

Have you ever fallen asleep on someone? Definitely as a kid, as well as on Jason and Girt.

Of all your exes, which one is your least favorite? Sara.

Do you prefer to be cuddled or kissed? Depends on the mood; I'd always be up for cuddling Girt though, while I don't always want to kiss, but on the other hand there are cases where I don't just want to cuddle, either.

Your most recent ex says they still love you. You say… lol no she doesn't, this isn't a situation I can even picture.

Who was your first boy/girlfriend? Aaron was the first guy with the title, but Jason was definitely my first real significant other.

How did your first kiss happen? We were playfighting on his bed, he pinned me, so I kissed him.

Where did you meet the last person you were in a car with? She gave birth to me.

When was the last time you had a box of chocolates? What kind were they? Valentine's Day, from Girt. They were different flavors and fillings.

Of all your relatives & close friends, whose birthday is closest to yours? My youngest niece's, I think.

Did you have a cake on your last birthday? What kind? No actually, I wanted donuts instead.

Where do you think your best friend(s) is right now? He should be at home, unless he had to go out for something today.

What is your central philosophy in life? To act with love and that love is something worth fighting for, and that is in all forms, not just romantic.

What moral code do you follow and why? Treat others how I'd want them to treat me, and to never, ever hurt/kill someone unless in very literal self-defense.

What is the person you are most dependent on (your dad, the welfare office, your personal maid, your seeing-eye-dog, your mailman)? My mom. I feel like her kid that never truly grew up, and I mean that negatively. She never asked for a child that would always be a parasite on her.

What expletives do you use in surprise or irritation (swears, gasps, yowza, etc)? "Jesus Christ" and "fuck" happen the most I think, but sometimes "shit" or "god(fucking)damn" happen.

What are the five worst things possible to happen to you? Depression and mental illness as a whole + the suicidal ideation that comes with it, a traumatic breakup, way too many hospitalizations that didn't benefit me, my parents' divorce (in terms of how I handled it, it NEEEEEEEDED to happen), and honestly I think the muscle atrophy in my legs.

What is the worst you’ve ever been injured or sick (broken arm, cancer, hang nail)? A wicked stomach virus that had me puking relentlessly, I'm talkin' to where you're barely getting bile out and your abs are in agony.

What object(s) do you like to keep near you? My phone, more than anything else. I tend to like to have a drink of some sort too, I drink (not alcohol, just in general) A LOT.

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? My dad.

[killerquail]

just a kid and her guitar

[bokuroskitten]

𝔅𝔞𝔠𝔨𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔤𝔢

✠ pairing: Drummer Bokuto x Bassist Kuroo x Fan!reader

✠ word count: 1.9k

✠ warnings: 18+ content, MINORS DNI; dubcon (coercion/power imbalance), oral (m! receiving), cockwarming, use of a vibrator, double penetration (oral and v!), unprotected sex, creampie, branding (kuroo burns you with his cigarette)

❦ hello loves, this post is for @loveatsutani music festival collab Rolling Loud! This was so fun to write and definitely something different to what I’m used to! Check out the other wonderful writers right here. Please let me know what you all think! 

The clubs were always so loud, always so grungy. Sweat covered bodies always filled the small dance floor space. Pupils dilated and bodies being controlled by the music. Really you should find another hobby, rather than attending every one of these gigs.

But you’d never stop following them. Especially now. Now that they noticed you.

Now that they whisper “Our sweet little fangirl” when they rail you in their dressing room filled with the scent of cheap tequila and cigarettes.

Kuroo let out a puff of smoke from his lips, thick and slow as he let it fog up the air in the small space the three of you currently occupied. His thighs were spread wide, wide enough to give you enough space to crawl between them.

You kept your eyes on him the whole time, wide, teary, and so very eager to please. Finally he brought his gaze back down to you when you muffled around his cock, a bit of drool dripping down your chin and onto his balls.

“What is it? Jaw gettin’ tired?” Kuroo finally mumbled around his cigarette, his tattooed fingers combing through your hair. He looked down at you, watched you try to muffle a response with your mouth stuffed. He chuckled softly, fingers slowly curling into the hair at the nape of your neck as he looked back up at Bokuto.

The drummer was wrapping tape around his knuckles, bruised and battered from a night of heavy playing. When he realized Kuroo’s eyes on him he gave him a wink. “Baby’s getting impatient already, huh? Shame.”

You squirmed at that, the grip Kuroo now had on your hair keeping you in place as Bokuto approached. He noticed the way your thighs were already pressing together and couldn’t help but lift your skirt up with his foot.

“Ah, that’s why she’s getting so impatient. She’s dripping already.” Bokuto spoke with a grin. And he was right, your pussy was already puffy, glistening in the dim light of the dressing room. Kuroo pulled your panties from his pocket, threw them at Bokuto which made both musicians laugh. “M’ not surprised, her panties were already wet when she threw them at us on stage.”

“I’m sure the vibator helped too..” Bokuto said with a grin, pulling a little remote from his pocket. When he pressed the plus button on it you jolted a bit, moaning around Kuroo’s cock as the toy within you sped up.

Yes, the little toy had been in you all night. When they handed it to you at the end of their last gig they specifically said “You have to wear it to every show.” And who were you to deny your idols?

Finally Kuroo tugged on your hair, pulled you slowly off his cock until it slipped from your lips with a slick pop. His length was hard and wet as it smacked against your cheek. Your face was flush, drool still connecting your lips to his cock when Bokuto gave your cheek a couple of gentle pats.

“C’mon baby, gunna fuck ya now. You want that, don’t ya?”

They knew your answer, of course they did. You tried to speak, voice raspy and lips a little sore from the stretch. “Y-Yes please, please fuck me….”

“Jesus, you’re so fucking pretty.” Kuroo murmured, not wanting to waste another second. He lifted you up into the couch, ushered you onto your hands and knees. Bokuto lazily pulled his cock free from his jeans, tattooed knuckles working along his length as he situated himself in front of you.

“Show me those pretty tits.” He encouraged thick brows pulled together in amusement as you pushed your tank top down, enough for your breasts to spill free. “No bra huh? You’re always so ready for us baby.”

“Course she is, cause she’s our good little fangirl. Isn’t that right angel?” Kuroo spoke from behind you, lean fingers easing the still vibrating toy from your pussy. You nodded, lips lulling open for Bokuto’s cock as he jerked himself hard.

Bokuto actually laughed, seeing your watery eyes and your mouth hung. Guess being in a band really had it perks. He pushed his cock between your plush lips, groaning at the warmth your mouth offered him. All the while Kuroo pressed the vibe against your clit, making your cheeks hollow out around Bokuto.

“That’s it…” Bokuto spoke through gritted teeth, one of his palms grabbing at your breast to massage it as he sunk his cock into your mouth. He didn’t stop until he felt your nose brush against his trimmed pubic hair, the subtle feeling of your throat closing around him making him shudder.

Kuroo then decided it was his turn, cigarette still dangling from his lips as he pushed his cock between your welcoming folds. Your pussy was quick to swallow him up, velvet walls giving him a loving squeez as he bottomed out in you. Almost like he was the perfect fit.

“This cunt will never get enough of us, huh pretty?” Kuroo mumbled, giving your ass a lazy smack that had you jolting. Bokuto hummed in agreement, one hand firmly planted on the back of your neck so he could fuck into your mouth.

“She’ll always come back to us, our pretty little fangirl is never going to leave now that she’s gotten a taste.” Bokuto spoke through moans, the momentum of his hips into your mouth fucking you onto Kuroo’s cock.

And of course you took it all, despite the way Bokuto’s cock choked you every time it went into your throat, despite the way Kuroo filled up every inch of your pussy, despite the way your body sat on the edge of pleasure and pain due to the overstimulation.

You took everything they offered to you. You were their precious little fangirl after all, and all you wanted to do was show them just how much you loved them, supported them.

No matter what.

Bokuto gave your hair a little yank as your jaw began to tighten up, a small sigh leaving his lips. “You know better than that love, keep that mouth of yours slack.”

Once Kuroo’s cigarette was done he finally decided to thrust into your cunt. His eyes widened with some sort of sick pleasure as he pressed the end of his cigarette into your ass, watching the way it made your skin instantly turn red. You squealed around Bokuto, drool bubbling from your lips at the sudden pain on your ass.

“Shh baby, you’re okay you’re okay….” His fingers were gentle as they ran over the fresh burn, the smirk on his face only getting bigger when your pussy fluttered around his cock. “Gotta mark what’s our’s right? Don’t you want everyone to know you belong to us?”

Your eyes were shiny with tears now. You did your best to nod while your mouth was stuffed with Bokuto’s cock.

But they knew. They knew you’d take anything they gave you, and would accept anything they did to you.

Both males now had a steady pace, Kuroo held your ass cheeks apart to watch his cock sink in and out of your dripping cunt while Bokuto had his eyes squeezed shut. His balls slapped against your chin as his orgasm approached, a string of curses falling past his pierced lips.

“Fuck, swallow it baby. Swallow every drop.”

You did your best to relax your throat, tried to focus on Bokuto and the strings of warm cum he released into your mouth while Kuroo drilled into you.

You still managed to swallow his thick load down, sputtering around his cock and spitting drool down your chin.

“Good girl.” Bokuto sighed, his cock slipping from your lips. He wiped it over your cheek, considering it was already covered in spit, and grabbed at your jaw.

He tilted your head up, made sure there was no cum left on your tongue before he placed a soft kiss against your forehead.

“You always swallow every drop like a good girl. Now you gotta make Kuroo come. You can do that, can't you?”

Fat tears sat in your lashes as you desperately leaned into Bokuto’s warm touch. You always took every ounce of affection they offered you, even if it was in very small doses.

“Yes, yes I can. Want him to come inside.”

That had Kuroo growling, his hips suddenly picking up in a pace that had his heavy balls slapping against your clit.

“Oh yeah? Gonna let me cum inside are you? What a good girl. Letting me fill this tight hole full.”

His excitement was getting the better of him. In his right mind he knew it was a bad idea to finish in a fan, especially without protection on. But when you arch your back for him, stick your ass out further and look over your shoulder at him.

With those desperately pathetic eyes, lips almost in a pout.

All sense seemed to spill from his mind. Instead he just focused on the way your pussy squeezed him, milked him for everything he was worth.

All the while Bokuto squeezed your chest, littered bite marks and hickeys without a care of placement.

You wouldn’t hide them anyway. You wanted everyone to know you were theirs.

The grip Kuroo had on your ass was certainly going to leave bruises, but he couldn’t stop. Not when he was so close and you were moaning so perfectly. His hips snapped against your ass, making the skin ripple as he grunted put through gritted teeth.

“Take it, take every drop.”

When he spilled within your walls you sighed in relief, fresh tears spilling down your cheeks as he fucked it into you, deeper and deeper with each sloppy thrust. You had finished right along with him, the feeling of his cum filling you up enough to send you over the edge.

“Thank you, thank you thank you…” Your words were nothing but mumbles, pushed out between whines as Bokuto slowly released you and let you sink into the cushions. Kuroo was slow to pull out of you, his eyes glued to the thin ring of cum that sat at the base of his cock.

“Fuck me….” He spoke, nodding Bokuto over to watch as he spread your pussy open with two fingers, despite the way you tried to squirm away. Your hole was fluttering around nothing now, cum spilling from it and threatening to slip between your thighs.

But Bokuto didn’t allow that. Instead he used two fingers to push the mess back into your cunt, making you groan softly.

“My turn angel. You wanna be filled with both of us, don’t you?” He didn’t wait for your response before he started rubbing his cock between your slick folds, wetting his length for a smooth entrance.

But he didn’t need an answer. Your fucked out little smile was enough for him. You were their little fangirl after all, and what would be better than going back out into the crowd, a mixture of their cum dribbling down your trembling thighs

[shookspearewrites]

Shookspeare Fatherhood: Mozart

Heya my little ducks, I hope that you're doing super fantastic~ Here's Mozart's story for #shookspearefatherhood and I can't believe that we're already more than half way through! Who's story are y'all looking forward to the most?

- JJ x

~~~~~~~~~~

Midnight Lullabies, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Zachariah was so much like his father that the pair might as well be twins. The four year old was pale, had the same piercing violet eyes and the same passion for music however, he didn't play himself - Zachariah much preferred to listen to his father playing whilst they sat at on the piano stool together. Much to Wolfgang's delight, his son was a quiet boy yet, not at all shy - Zachariah was a happy child who simply enjoyed quiet, peaceful activities as opposed to most children his age who liked loud and messy forms of fun.

It was far too late for the youngest member of le Comte's household to be awake as he wandered around the mansion's never-ending hallways. The only people who were still awake were Sebas, who Zachariah had managed to sneak past uncaught, Jean, who was too busy reading in the library to notice his best friend's son and Mozart himself. Wolfgang was sat at his glorious piano, scribbling notes onto musical manuscript paper, a gentle smile gracing his face as he wrote.

There came the quietest, smallest of knocks at the music room door which hung ajar, the sound making the brilliant musician turn his head and wear a scowl. However, his frown melted away at the sight of his son who stood timidly in the doorway wearing pajamas that were just slightly too big for him and clutching onto his plush toy bear. "Zachariah, what are you doing up so late?" Wolfgang strode over to the little boy before kneeling down and assessing him closely to make sure that he wasn't injured, "What happened, Mein Sohn?" The vampire gently held his son as the boy began to sniffle and sob quietly, his violet eyes spilling salty tears as he clutched onto his father's jacket.

"I-I had a b-bad dream, V-vater," Zachariah wailed, his little body shaking as he wept helplessly. His father carefully rubbed his back, shushing him gently and confirming that he was safe and that is was all just a bad dream. Once he had calmed himself down a little, the younger Mozart spoke again, stumbling over his words, "I-is Mutter o-okay, Vater?"

Wolfgang's pretty purple eyes widened in surprise at the question before he made sense of the situation - Ever since MC had fallen terribly ill with Typhoid Fever when Zachariah was three, he'd been plagued with nightmares of her sickness. Mozart took his son's hand in his own and stroked his bright white hair tenderly before standing up, "Shall we go to visit her? I doubt that she's asleep just yet."

Zachariah nodded, rubbing his tired eyes of sleep as he and his father wandered towards his parents' bedroom. The little boy knocked on the door and waited for MC's gentle 'Come in' to ring out before entering the room with Wolfgang just behind him. The little boy rushed over to his mother's side, hugging her legs tightly as if he were afraid to let go.

Before his wife could even ask what was going on, Wolfgang answered, "He had another nightmare and wanted to check that you were in good health."

"Oh, little one," MC smiled sadly as she sat herself down in her reading chair and pulled her son into her lap, letting him cuddle against her middle. Frau Mozart wrapped her arms around Zachariah closely and carefully rocked him, her comfort and love encompassing her son and protecting him from harm, "I'm okay, Zachariah. Look, Mutter is healthy and so is Vater and so are you."

"That's correct," the vampire confirmed as he knelt before his family, a caring smile on his thin lips and his gentle hand ruffling his son's hair, "All is well, Mein Sohn."

After Zachariah was calm and had begun to grow tired again, MC carried him back to his bedroom and tucked him comfortably into bed with the help of her devoted husband. As he was peacefully falling asleep, Mozart began to quietly sing a sweet old lullaby in German, his delicate tenor voice filling the air with love and calmness. It wasn't too long before Zachariah was snoring, a smile on his face as he now slumbered peacefully with his teddy bear held closely to his chest in a hug. Both MC and Wolfgang kissed their son's forehead and made their way back to their own room to retire to bed.

As they lay there, illuminated only by the glowing moon who's light sparkled upon the floor, Mozart found himself sighing softly, caressing his wife's cheek as she snuggled up in his embrace. "You're a wonderful mother, MC. I hope that Zachariah is just as kind and caring as you when he's older."

MC smiled at Wolfgang's compliment, pressing a kiss to his bare chest before replying quietly, "I do hope that you realise that you are an excellent father, Wolf. And if our son is anything like you when he's grown up, he'll be simply perfect."

The musician blushed softly, trailing his hand up and down MC's back before bowing his head to kiss her sweetly. "If you keep talking to me like that, Liebling," he almost purred, kissing her once again before continuing, "We might just end up with another little one."

[gemstone-gynoid]

vtubers i know and at least occassionally watch-

all of hololive english, indonesia, most of japan. nuff said, theyre all great peeps. they all feel like mainstays just weeks after debut, even the newest members. so it really is shocking whenever someone leaves.

nijisanji en , the first two waves of girls. starting to watch nina and millie more. should check out the guys more. i know theres tons of other nijipeeps but i dont really see many clips floating around of them. 

VOMs, pikamee i can watch streams. she’s a streamer for sure with how she interacts with chat. the other 3 in the group seem great, not a lot of translations though.

vshojo, definitely respect all of them. mostly watch nyanners and ironmouse though. 

smaller names i know:

Athena Bambina- rather christian deergirl who has sick belches often. is a good streamer. doesnt get a lot of views yet. i think she’s someone who trawls 4chan a lot with her humor sometimes though. english. 

Alchemilla Menace - CyberLive group- i like slimegirls

Artemis of the Blue- this shark girl is no idol (as if other vtuber sharkgirls are idols) but she does her own things its nice. 

Courtney (ProjectSNT) - big sonic fan, vtuber model is usually her sonic oc. 

demily pyro - its @demilypyro go follow her! great demon gal from the minecraft realm of netherlands. 

FalseEyeD- a vtuber who does vtuber news, and id say he is pretty objective in an area that can easily be some idiotic drama channel. i like his robot avatar more than his anime boy self. 

FeFe- vshojo adjacent content, i respect the existence of unabashedly horny vtubers. 

kson onair- this independent vtuber has such a powerful personality. nuff said. 

omotea- i actually followed this channel before i realized what vtubers are and before i found hololive. vr and is into music or rhythm games like beat saber. dances too.

smudgebap- i personally know this person, has a simple bunny pngtuber model.  been streaming for about a year it seems, i predict theyll pop off in time. 

Fujikura Uruka - phase connect group - purple beargirl that is a pretty good musician. edgy vibes, like selen tatsuki. 

Virtual Hero V-Ranger- @virtualherovranger a tumblr alumni too. need to catch her streams more. 

woohoolad- the world needs more shitposters. certified atrocious small balls streamer. 

yogurt cap- VR dancer but in a shitpost way. 

Usui Clear - rocket vtuber who’s model is heavily astronomy inspired, does streams whenever a rocket launch is happening to talk about it. also does like regular vtuber among us streams too. 

juniper actias- that moth vtuber with amazing rigging of a regular, chibi, and monstrous form. 

vinesauce Lime, Revscarecrow and Jabroni Mike have vtuber models its great. though i havent watched those in this group in a while. everyone knows vinny and joel. i watched rev the most though.