#usually i make things with a purpose but this time i really just wanted to draw amit and sammy again LOL

[revelboo]

Any updates on swerve and his human? :0

Sure!

Lose Control Pt 5

Swerve x Reader

• “You good over there?” He asks, head turning to find the shape of you curled up in your little nest of blankets near his side. Brightening his visor slightly when you lift your head. “Cause I can hear your teeth chattering.” Knows you’re cold. That humans run colder than Cybertronians. Remembers a couple of the others mentioning it. And Megatron gruffly confessing to nearly rolling and dumping his human off the first time they’d climbed on him to sprawl on his chassis seeking the heat of his frame while he was recharging.

• “It’s freezing in here,” you mumble, already wrapped in layers of blankets and still shivering nonstop. He’d explained that this was the optimum temperature for Cybertronians, that they ran hot, but you’re miserable. And to make it worse, you know he’s warm and it’s only your dignity keeping you from curling up against him. Going still when one of his arms lifts and comes down on the other side of you. Know he’s not going to hurt you, but every time he unexpectedly reaches for you, it sends a shiver of unease through you. It’s just his size, that he’s bigger than you, but you hate it. Because his smile falters whenever he notices you doing it. So gently, he slides his arm and pushes you and your blankets closer until you’re tucked between his side and his arm. And he’s so warm. “Thank you.”

• “Promise I won’t bite,” he murmurs, aware of you shifting around to get comfortable again. Of the adorable way you softly exhale once you’re settled there against him. It’s a small step toward building trust. To coaxing you closer. Maybe eventually you’ll feel comfortable enough to stretch out on him and sleep on his chassis. Maybe you won’t tense when he reaches for you like you think he’s going to hurt you even though he never has. Gets it. He’s bigger and as alien to you as you are to him. And you lay a little hand on his side, fingers brushing his biolights to make them flare and to make him shudder.

• “Do these have a purpose?” You ask, tracing the shape of the glow as it lazily pulses in time with the thrumming that comes from him, the pulses so subtle you almost don’t notice them at first. “Or are they just an aesthetic thing?” Hear him make a noise, venting air sharply and you suspect he’s trying to not laugh at you. “They’re pretty.”

• “They might have had a purpose originally, but I suppose they’re mostly for show now.” He manages, painfully aware of your soft fingers sliding against him. That you don’t know that you’re unwittingly flirting with him, that touching or complimenting biolights is usually a precursor to interfacing. Or at least an indication of interest. “The higher castes had the brighter lights, the more complex patterns.” And in comparison with some, his are dull. Lackluster and unlikely to draw anyone’s optic. But you’re looking. Even though he knows you don’t think of him like that. And he’s okay with that. You’re too different and he’s just glad to have someone to talk to. Someone to give him a reason to take care of himself. To care about his own well-being, because you’re dependent on him. And that’s enough. Really. Wanting anything more, daring to hope for more just feels greedy and he’s all too familiar with disappointment.

Previous

[cheralith]

hello challengers au but it’s polyamorous ryusae and your sae’s lowk toxic but gorgeous wife/soccer coach that had a thing with shidou back in the day but ended up leaving him for sae because he had more potential, was more accessible, was more crowd-favored. you live your shattered dream through him, despite him being evidently fatigued from soccer.

now shidou’s back in your life, adamant on trying to corrupt you and to cause a cheating scandal to ruin you and your husband’s well-built career. he slowly picks at you—asking you to dinner (he asks the waiter for a table by the window), driving you home (he removes the tint on the windows), inviting you to his games (he tells the camera to pan on you to make sure the crowd knows you’re within the vicinity)

… and it all comes crashing down on a singular rainy night where shidou just so happens to “return” an earring of yours you dropped in his car. it wasn't your fault that the rain made him look ten times more alluring than usual—white wet t-shirt outlining his figure, his hair down and framing his face? it was basically a given.

don't think your his only target either—he has his sight on sae, as well. he instills the same plan to him, disguising the secret meetups and hook-ups as just "buds catching up." purposely doesn't wear a mask and lets his flashy hair flow despite sae going out all the way to hide his appearance next to him. the paparazzi gets curious; who's this new friend shidou ryusei has been hanging out with that walks with a slight limp?

little does he know, you've been pulling the strings the entire time.

you weren't stupid. you and your husband went to a prestigious university after all, you're more than aware of what shidou is attempting. you knew from day one, when he’d ask you odd questions about sae and how you guys were doing.

so naturally, you decide to break him first.

you tell sae about where shidou is planning to take you next, so he can anonymously tip the paparazzi about his whereabouts. sae catches you on what shidou has been hinting to him about you, him whispering in the prodigy's ear that he deserves better than this shaky marriage, so you and him can plot out weak points for shidou to hit.

"she seems to be more in love with soccer than i am."

"he doesn't really want to acknowledge his true potential."

if anything, you have shidou to thank. you were on the fence about divorcing sae after his team loses the chance to play for the world cup, but you think this entire thing has brought you and him closer than ever before... in a twisted, sadistic sense.

and as shidou grows excited, more apprehensive about publicizing this affair to shatter you and sae, you and your husband wait by the sidelines. you and him are patiently looking at the clock, hand in hand, and waiting for shidou to arrive at the bistro you told shidou to meet you at, the paparazzi hiding in the bushes away from view, their cameras at the ready.

[sweetfuchsia]

ex bf! sae x reader who likes to play around w/ him pt 9

m.list

you wouldn’t say that you’ve been running out of ideas.. the right one just hasn’t come to mind yet.

i mean, you feel like you’ve pranked ex bf! sae in every way possible by now. sighing to yourself, you walk over to your bathroom. maybe you could.. hmmm.

after a few minutes of thinking very hard (laughing to yourself about ex bf! sae’s face when you visit him), your gaze snaps to something, and your thoughts immediately come to a halt. you’re momentarily stunned, before a bright idea suddenly makes your lips curve into a wide smile.

perfect, you think.

and that’s how you found yourself in a cute, short dress with really good makeup on. you’re walking down the street to your ex boyfriend’s house, adjusting your grasp on your purse.

what are you doing today? well, if you couldn’t tell by the wig and the different makeup… today, you’re going to infiltrate ex bf! sae’s house!

you step up to this front door after a little walking, and clear your throat. it took a while to perfect your voice, so you’re hoping that it’s believable.

you lift a hand, knocking on the door. taking a moment to admire your new nails— which were totally for the disguise— you smile to yourself. this is absolutely perfect.

when ex bf! sae reveals himself, he jumps slightly at the sight of— who.. are you? name? no, it can’t be… he sighs to himself. how crazy has he gotten to assume every girl he sees is you.

“what is it?” he questions pointedly, raising an eyebrow at your form. who even are you? a fan, he’s assuming?

he takes note of your attire, narrowing his eyes. not too classy, he thinks. you look like some sort of stripper. name wouldn’t wear something like that— it’s definitely not you.

wait, why’s he thinking of name again?

“hi, sae!” you beam, lightly flicking the hair of your wig over your shoulder before placing your hand on your hip. you look cute— maybe if you didn’t have an ex boyfriend to tease you would have gone out.

“it’s me from the bar. you remember me, right?” you tilt your head at him, glossed lips curling into an easy smile. just like you practiced— not that you were thinking of this too much, or anything… definitely not.

“the cutie you kissed.” you add, purposely being a little vague. if he really did meet a girl, you wouldn’t want to be different from her.

“…not really. but okay.” the man deadpans, expression unamused. he doesn’t recall going to the bar or kissing any girl— let alone a “cute�� one. if he’s being completley truthful, the last memorable kiss he had was with you.

“uh, well.. anyways!” you cough softly, eye twitching slightly. man, you kinda forgot how difficult ex bf! sae can be. “can i come in? i just haven’t been able to get you out of my mind.” you ask, pretty lips forming into a pout.

you don’t notice the way you take a small step closer— a small habit that you don’t realise you have. but ex bf! sae does. how could he not?

maybe that’s why he feels just a little more comfortable letting you in.

the night goes on pretty well— and your plan is definitely progressing when you’re able to get ex bf! sae to sit closer to you.

you look around his living room, silently noting how similar it is to the last time you came over. everything’s in the same position, all the furniture is the same, your matching photo frames are still there.. wait, what?!

you narrow your eyes at them— and sure enough, those are the photo frames you and ex bf! sae bought together on one of your dates. thief, you scoff to yourself.

the man in question raises an eyebrow at you. what’re you looking at? his gaze follows yours, and he almost grins. so focused on your things, like usual.

ex bf! sae figured it was you as soon as you slipped out of your shoes— you set them in the same place you’d always put them. in front of his, every single time no matter what.

“something wrong?” he’d hum, adjusting his position slightly and throwing an arm (a very nice looking arm, might i add) over the back of the couch— right behind you.

“no, no.” you say immediately, shaking your head. did he catch you?! hopefully not!

“you sure?” ex bf! sae purrs, a smile, or more of a smirk, finding it’s way to his lips as he moves his hand to lightly touch your thigh. part of him wonders where you’d get such a dress from. it’s not like you to wear something like this— are you really that dedicated to bothering him?

ha, it’s working! you smile back at him, leaning slightly closer to him. and just like you planned, he leans closer— but…

everything’s going the way you wanted to. you infiltrated his house, had some fun, tricked him— so why do you feel so… you don’t know.

ex bf! sae hums when he feels the gentle brush of your breath against his lips. why are you holding back? he would’ve thought you’d taken the. chance by now— or at least revealed yourself.

unless this really is just some other woman and he’s going fucking crazy or something.

you both pause, thoughts a scrambled mess and intertwining with each other; “what the fuck have i gotten myself into?”

note: i will continue this in the next part :P

[agentlizardofowca]

Bubbles!

Human Perry and Heinz watching their favourite star trek/star wars show! Perhaps split into three sections: 1) Heinz and Perry watching it together, 2) Perry with Heinz watching it with Phineas and Ferb, 3) Perry and Heinz trying to get Vanessa to join in on their mutual love for this franchise.

(Hope this wasn't too much to ask. My ao3 if you require it for anything: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SD2006)

@adhd-riddled-crow Thanks for the ask! I made it just one drabble and I chose to use Space Adventure instead of irl IP's. Established relationship Perryshmirtz, Human Perry, fluff! An Introduction to Space Adventure! (1975)

Heinz and Vanessa were supposed to go home after they had dinner with the Flynn-Fletcher family. Instead, Candace and Vanessa disappeared to the top floor to go see her Ducky Momo collection. Perry was sort-of thinking about how to extract the gothy girl, so that they could get home, but then Lawrence asked Heinz about Drusselsteinian clock-making and Perry realized they would not be making it back to Heinz’s apartment anytime soon. He didn’t mind. Not at all. He listened to his brother and his boyfriend happily yap for a solid twenty minutes before he realized he was falling asleep. So, he yawned, stretched, and moved to the couch for a ‘little nap’ Perry Fletcher had taken many ‘little naps’ in his life, and most often he startled awake four hours later despite his intentions to only lay down for ten minutes. This happened often, especially when he still lived with the Flynn-Fletchers, they usually just let him sleep. Not Heinz, Heinz wasn’t afraid to wake him up. Perry’s grumpy and sleepy face didn’t scare him, infact, he kept pointing out how cute it was.

A while later, Perry woke from his light slumber as he felt warmth and movement beside him.

“Sit over here, Ferb. We still fit.” Phineas whispered from the other end of the sofa.

“I believe we’ve grown, Phineas,” Ferb responded calmly. And he sat on Perry’s leg. When the uncle looked over he met Ferb’s apologetic expression.

“Oh, you’re awake, Uncle Perry,” Ferb noted, mostly to point it out to Phineas.

“Oops! Sorry.” Phineas said, looking completely unapologetic. “Do you mind, we want to watch Space Adventure! Dad bought it on dvd, and it has a bunch of bonus features we can watch afterwards.” 

Perry tucked his legs in a little closer and smiled as the kids settled in a little more comfortably to watch the movie. He leaned his head back on the armrest and closed his eyes once more.

“You’re not going to snore through the whole movie, are you?”

Reluctantly, Perry opened his eyes again. 「Just start the movie.」 He signed grumbily and he sat himself vaguely upright. This often -but not always- stopped him from falling back asleep. The movie started with bombastic music and a lot of background information to establish the sci-fi world. At this point all of them have seen this movie so many times that they can just talk through it, which was exactly what Phineas did whilse Ferb and Perry politely listened.

Barely ten minutes into the movie, Heinz and Lawrence popped into the room to ask Perry something. Not even halfway through the question, they notice what movie’s playing. One thing leads to another, and suddenly, Heinz is in the armchair beside Perry, holding his hand, playing with his knuckles and watching along.

Heinz had also seen this movie many, many times. The first time, he was in Drusselstein and the movie was poorly dubbed by just 6 voice actors for the entire movie. “They were all men,” He explained. “So all the women characters had really fake high voices.” 

“A bit like monthly python?” Lawrence asked. “Except they did that on purpose, of course.” 

“I guess so. But the movie was also heavily censored. The first time I saw it in America I was so confused.”

“Hey Dad?” Vanessa’s voice rang out behind them, from the top of the stairs. “It’s getting kinda late…” Just like everybody else, her eyes were distracted by the screen, where Captain Zowt was speaking; an alien commander with red eyes and horns. “What’s this?” She asked as she and Candace made their way down the stairs.

“Are you really watching the space movie again?” Candace asked and turned to Vanessa. “So he’s a corporal for the bad guy, but he’s secretly a spy for the rebellion.” 

“Candace, you’re spoiling the movie,” Ferb interjected with a little frown.

Meanwhile, Vanessa kept her eyes on the screen. “Is he a big part of the movie?” 

“Vanessa, sweety, come sit.” Her father said and he waved her over. “If we all ask for Popcorn there’s no way Linda can say no.” 

“He’s one of the main characters, Vanessa!” Phineas explained cheerfully. “But he doesn’t get as much screen time in this movie as in the sequel.” 

“Wait, so who is he trying to help?” She asked as she settled on a pillow in front of the couch.

“Someone else, please explain! I only pay attention when the pudgilu is on screen.” Candace pointed out with a groan. In her defence, the movie was quite plot-heavy.

“Pudgelu?” Vanessa parrotted, curiously.

“Oh it’s a little space puppy that can fly and it’s SO cute!” Candace explained loudly as she gestured vaguely about the space-pup’s shape and size. “He has really big, cute eyes and he naked little noises!” 

“Candace, he’s not even in this movie, you’re just confusing her now!” Phineas interjected. “Let her catch up first.”

At this point, Lawrence paused the movie. “Can we all agree that we start the movie over so that Vanessa has a fair chance to watch it?”

So, the movie was restarted. It was a herculean task to prevent Candace and Phineas from talking through the entire movie and spoiling all the big twists. But with a lot of soda, a big pile of popcorn and a lot of shushing and stern looks from their uncle, they eventually settled down.

As the end-credits rolled, everybody turned to Vanessa. 

“Did you like it?” 

“So how many movies did you say there were?” She asked instead. “And is Zowt in all of them?” 

“He is, but he’s an old man in some of them.” Phineas explained.

Vanessa turned to Candace. “Like, a hot old man?”

Her friend thought for a moment and shrugged. “Kinda. If you’re into demon aliens with gray hair.” 

On the other end of the couch, Perry was distracted by his boyfriend, who was strangeling his fingers happily. He turned to Heinz, who bounced happily in his seat. “I can’t believe we finally managed to introduce Vanessa to sci-fi!” 

Perry happily patted Heinz’s hand. He was going to try and watch so many movies with her now.

“You should watch the other movies and then tell me if you agree that Zowt and Prince Spohth would be perfect together, I have so much fanfiction to send you!” 

“Wait,” Vanessa turned to Candace with a little frown. “I thought you didn’t care about Space Adventure?” 

“Oh, no I do.” Candace giggled. “I just didn’t want you to think I’m lame if you didn’t like it.” 

“Candace, I still want to be your friend, no matter how lame and weird you are. Ugh.” And she rolled her eyes.

By the time the movie ended, it was way past bedtime for the boys, so the Doofenshmirtzes stayed just a little longer whilst Perry tucked them in and said goodbye. Downstairs, Heinz somehow got sucked into Candace and Vanessa’s conversation, which was all good and well until Vanessa discovered that her father also had a crush on Zowt. 

[pezinvests]

clinical trial spoilers because there is somewhat of a following now here on tumblr and i want to make my mark. long opinion post. if you're reading through the tag and haven't played, please play the game to the end first i beg of you

so obsessed with how limited our true knowledge is of lee. for what we all know lee has done this kind of thing before and how he just might be more dangerous than he seems. a man in his 20s who got his nursing license during the bush administration (2007-2008ish), ex-mormon/ex-christian/ex-catholic with a slightly strange upbringing and carries himself so seriously and does things so meticulously.

in the bedroom scene he says he just moved out a year ago into a house full of hand-me-downs and old stuff he has kept forever, followed with him saying "a lot of stuff in my life doesn't make sense."

man. that is by far the most vague yet perhaps suspicious thing you could say if you were in his shoes. of course, some have speculated this is just him having some form of autism (in which i welcome this theory and would make sense), but i do think he has just done this type of thing before.

of course, he has fantasized about dying in those hidden walls and has dreamt of studying heavily on orthopedia and pursuing this as his career path, this is canon. maybe in general has studied these kinds of ideas of murder, torture, etc. that relates to it as well.

however he was covering up everything so well by driving brandon's car in a lake. (and hopefully covering whatever tracks he made after driving into the ditch like footprints and maybe tiretracks of his own car to leave the scene??? he seemed to have thought so far ahead to bury his body anyway in there because no one will come looking so. there's also that animation from the dev themselves on twitter that show how angel & lee disposed of brandon. my god. it's so meticulous and careful)

he was also quick thinking on his feet getting a signal jammer to block angel's cellphone from pinging nearby towers. he was only so lucky that their phone died on the way to his house and probably was able to set up the cell jammer before he brought in groceries.

or worse yet, he already had a signal jammer with him. like he just had one already and he set that up really fast before he could even get a charger for angel. lee never mentioned the full circumstances of him having it and when he set it up. he just said he was lucky that angel's phone died on the way there. him being so vague as well as the game not telling us much on that front really sells it.

i get that we don't really see angel's day-to-day life outside of the clinic either (minus the home scenes where you see their art posts and texts on their phone) + it's an RPGMAKER game, can't be that detailed, so we don't usually see what happens in between those times anyway (masterful story technique i must say). but it really leans into the idea that whatever lee says, we really just have to take his word for it now especially with the amount of things he tried to hide.

looking at the bigger picture, yes, lee's actions are inexcusable and disgusting, who would trust someone like this afterwards? and that really rings true throughout the entire game's story. angel giving lee a third chance really is an act of mercy from a god. hell, them walking away on ending 1 was also merciful, especially at their expense if the authorities don't believe angel as to what happened.

so uhh. main takeaway? i love the way lee was written. i'm so glad homie went full send on his character being a little bit of a pathetic creep (lmao the cum-stained jacket being fully written in, really sold it for me) and on purpose him being very vague about his true nature. it plays on the idea that "when someone says who they are, believe them". we have the same amount of info angel has as the player and through it all? we just have to take lee's word for everything.

[sparxyv]

Ravenclaw Buddies 💙

would you join them? 😗

[m00ngbin]

Take some Teru concepts I made while I finish up the last few things I'm drawing!!!

I'm so sorry they're taking so long I have had a really long week 😭

Go read The Forgotten Son pretty pretty please :3 it's by @teruthecreator on ao3 and it's so good. You'll love it I promise

Oh um this is me editing this, I originally forgot to actually tag him when first I posted this. ANYWAYS HE USES THE SAME NAME ON AO3 AS HE DOES ON HERE

[freakinator]

yknow with tthe whole cc!kab rping an actual character rather than just being herself with extra steps thing i should prbs talk about her character in a different way compared to other lsers cause it feels wrong to talk about her in the same way that i do for the others when she plays in such a significantly different way

[egginfroggin]

I usually try not to get too negative on my blog, but I have to say that one thing that I'm worried about with AI art is the possible accusations that could be placed on people with certain artstyles (surrealism, hyperrealism, etc.) that are more prone to the "uncanny valley" effect, or even just artists who are in that midway point where most of a piece looks great but there's a few things that are anatomically questionable.

I think it's fine for people to have suspicions, but I'm worried that people will come to expect things such as progress videos or shots as a given, and that this will intimidate young or new artists, making them feel incredibly pressured to provide things that they shouldn't have to. And, speaking from experience, pressure does not do good things to the creative mind.

I'm worried that people will start seeing inconsistencies or awkward anatomy and immediately react with accusations of AI. It's happening on other platforms, and probably also on Tumblr, and as much as I dislike AI, I think that people need to learn to slow down and really look at something before making that accusation.

What good will stamping out AI with vigor do if innocent artists get caught in the crossfire and stop creating out of fear? What good will it do if the next generation of artists is too scared to share and inspire each other?

Genuinely, I would personally rather deal with AI images existing while still being able to freely share my actual works than I would deal with tiptoeing around very real people who would dismiss my hours of work (and musculoskeletal pain) as worthless and not real. Let artists still be free for goodness' sake.

I can be more thoroughly worded later if anyone asks, and this will probably be sorely misinterpreted, but I just need to get this out and I'm tired.

TLDR: It's fine to be against AI-generated images, but please check yourself and be careful who you accuse of using such technology before you get someone innocent caught up in it. AI-generated art isn't great, and neither is putting down someone's hard work as fake.

[camping-with-monsters]

A relatively new addition to the cast of Duck Duck Goose, this is the malevolent and ill-tempered Little Bo Peep!

A ruthless little girl of blood and wool, she’s got a thin patience to those that oppose the goal of the sheep. She’s got quite the arsenal around her— a widespread flock of friendly looking little lambs that are much less cutesy when in battle. With relentless little manic sheep that are spotted all over the place, the sheep are spoken to have a vendetta against canine-kind and all things wolf-related, as they’ve grown tired of being thrown around and hunted so mercilessly by all the real big bad wolves of the world. When prey becomes predator, a leader is to be crowned to remind of the motive— and this is where Bo Peep— a girl perfectly fit for the job— comes into play.

Little Bo Peep is the human protector of these wooly little animals, and she’s been crowned to represent what they want— revenge; against all who have ever feasted their chop and harvested their wool. She’s uptight and snobbish— a total brat far too spoiled beyond repair. She makes the utmost perfect host for controlling, frolicking alongside the flock as it continues to flourish and grow. The sheep and their leader are the living proof not to trust all things cute and cuddly. In fact, they’re all proof that trust is a fragile virtue granted and destroyed— all you have to do is look into the gaze of Bo Peep the wrong way and you’ll find yourself with wool over your eyes!

Special thanks to @pazam, @menthum-mint and @shroingushour for some help with ideas for the finalized design! I had a little bit of trouble making her outfit a little more interesting initially, haha!

[keeps-ache]

ggghhg i hate vehiclessssssss ghghghhghhhhh [dies dies dies forever]

[megarywrites]

idk why it took my so long to realize this today but the part I wrote earlier makes a good parallel between Thalera's developing relationship and the relationship of Thala's parents, which is something that I'm trying to do (to demonstrate their compatibility and eventual longevity once they're together) but while I was writing it earlier it didn't even cross my mind lol

[honey-tongued-devil]

[Arcane preference] reacting to someone flirting with their s/o + jealousness

I'll be honest, I had like four headcanons on jealousy (and five on pregnancy, curse on you and your baby fever), so making this headcanon became a priority. Plus, I tried to make it a bit longer. As usual, under the "read more" line, you'll find both my other project for Arcane (a series of vintage-style posters) and my other socials in case you want to follow me because you love me too much.

socials: | INPRNT | | Tip Jar | | X | | BlueSky |

poster: | Jayce poster | | Silco poster 1| | Silco poster 2| |Silco poster 3| | Steb poster |

Jayce:

- He’s not the type to cause a scene, nor is he the aggressive kind.  

- When someone flirts with you in front of him for the first time, he’s confused for a few seconds.  

- The problem begins when the thought starts settling, stagnating, thickening like sediment at the bottom of a bottle. Was the person really hitting on you, or is he just being paranoid?  

- Did they not realize you were together? Or did they do it on purpose?  

- It doesn’t take long for him to start ignoring you, not even on purpose—he suddenly forgets he’s a scientist, a successful adult man, and spirals into a crisis.  

- What if he’s not enough? What if that person realized before him that he wasn’t suited for you?  

- You notice something’s off, but he doesn’t say a word. If it happens again, his fists clench, he feels like the world is collapsing on him, and if it persists, he leaves without even thinking.  

- He doesn’t want to witness that scene; he’s terrified that you might accept the flirtation, that you’ll realize he’s not good enough for you.  

- And if you’re going to leave him, he doesn’t want to see it with his own eyes.  

- Eventually, he’ll be the one to bring up the subject, just to tell you that if you’re tired of him, he won’t hold it against you and that he understands.  

- It’s not true, but he wants to seem mature. He wants to be a good partner until the end and almost breaks down when you reassure him that you don’t want to leave him, that he is enough.

 Viktor:

- Pre-"Arcane s1-tamed" Viktor would snap at the person flirting with you or insult them under his breath.  

- In the wrong moment, with enough alcohol in his system, his reaction could even turn violent.  

- Viktor gets jealous with anger—a mix of fear of being mocked, the lack of control over the situation, and his sense of replaceability set him off.  

- But he’s also an adult. He’ll try to make peace with himself before talking to you about it.  

- Post-"Arcane-tamed" Viktor observes you, tries to read your signals. He’s irritated but keeps calm and even interrupts the situation, pointing out that the two of you have things to do.  

- He doesn’t wait long to bring it up and is straightforward: “Do you like him?”  

- His jealousy is laced with sadness. The thought of losing your warmth, intimacy, and everything he has with you makes him feel empty.  

- He knows he’s often absent because of his research, that it’s hard to be with someone with “special needs” because it can be limiting at times. He’s aware of his unique personality and his background. His anger quickly shifts to resignation, becoming a quiet sorrow.  

- When you try to reassure him, his response is even sadder: “I know I’m hard to love. I don’t blame you.”  

- When someone hits on you, as soon as you’re alone, he holds you closer. During cuddles, he breathes in your scent deeply, as if trying to memorize you in case he will ever have to remember you.

 Ekko:

- At the Tree, it’s pretty normal. They share everything, and everyone is just very friendly. If someone flirts with you at the Firelight hideout, he laughs, jokes, and stays calm.  

- The problem arises outside of that safe space.  

- When someone from outside flirts with you, he’s stunned for a moment, but if it continues, he leaves before you can even respond.  

- He knows that if he stayed, things might escalate.  

- “I didn’t like how that guy was talking to you,” he blurts out when you try to talk to him, but it’s obvious the issue cuts deeper than that. His tone and downcast eyes reveal that it’s more significant than it seems.  

- Living at the Tree has taken your relationship to a deeper level. You take care of the kids together, share everything, and live as part of a big interconnected family.  

- The idea of someone threatening the peace of his home, his family, makes him feel like those things he takes for granted could suddenly change. 

- That tomorrow, you might no longer be his “married” partner but two strangers.

 Vander:

- Vander is too old to be jealous, and has been in enough strange and ambiguous situations not to overreact.  

- If someone flirts with you, maybe at the bar in front of him, he chuckles to himself, commenting only after the person leaves that you’re so attractive no one can resist you.  

- He doesn’t like it, but it often makes him smile to see others recognize what he sees in you.  

- On the night when someone is particularly persistent or you seem to laugh more than usual, he taps his finger on the bar, contemplating what to do. When he catches your eye, he simply mouths, “If you want to go, don’t worry—I’ll close the bar.”  

- It’s not about being open to a polyamorous relationship, don’t misunderstand. He believes that a relationship should be based on the fact that you actively choose to be with him, not on obligation. That’s why he gives you the freedom to back out if you want.  

- When you shake your head, refuse the other person, and stay with him—maybe touching his hand at the bar when he has a moment of peace—he looks at you with an indescribable tenderness.  

- “I’m glad you’re here with me,” he whispers when you’re finally alone, holding you tightly in his arms.  

Silco:

- On one hand, he’s too old to make a scene, but when he sees someone flirting with you right in front of him, something inside him falters.  

- Being able, after so many years, to form such a deep bond with someone put him in a state of comfort he hadn’t realized might one day be taken away.  

- Suddenly, that possibility becomes real, vivid. Outwardly, he shows no emotion and doesn’t lose his composure for even a moment—because if he did, he might lose control. But inside, he feels like he’s dying.  

- If you laugh a little too much or don’t explicitly reject the person, the turmoil inside him intensifies rapidly.  

- He’s been through too much, and his mind is wired to “strike before being struck,” which is why he immediately becomes colder, seeking emotional distance to avoid being vulnerable.  

- He’s not the king of good communication. If you try to ask him what’s wrong, he’ll dodge the question. It’ll take a lot of effort on your part to understand what triggered his behavior, to talk to him and reassure him gently, never too directly.  

- You’ll need to show him, through actions, that you haven’t left and don’t plan to before he starts acting normal again—becoming more physically affectionate when you’re alone.  

 Jinx:

- Jinx is possessive and jealous, living in constant fear of being both not enough and too much at the same time—of losing everything she has and being abandoned by anyone who can still leave her.  

- It’s in those rare moments when the buzzing behind her eyes quiets, when she’s at rest, that for a single second, just one fleeting instant, she allows herself to forget that fear.  

- And then, when you’re together, and someone pays you a compliment that makes you laugh, something snaps in her head.  

- Do you know them? Why are they so friendly? Why don’t you say something? Why did you stop walking? Walk, dammit, walk. Why are they touching your shoulder? Why don’t you stop them? Why don’t you stop them? WHY DON’T YOU STOP THEM.  

- The likelihood that the person who flirted with you ends up found the next day with a broken limb in a dumpster is extremely high.  

- But even that doesn’t calm her. When you get home, she isolates herself, spiraling into thoughts that maybe, if you could, you’d have gone with that person or followed them.  

- She’ll need lots of affirmation and both verbal and physical reassurance before she calms down.  

Vi:

- Her jealousy exists, it’s there, but she expresses it in a very straightforward way.  

- Having been forced to grow up too quickly and unable to throw tantrums because she was responsible for her siblings, her emotions have always been carefully bottled up and dealt with through questionable coping mechanisms.  

- Sure, having someone by her side now means she can’t go brawling in the streets, especially when the reason feels so trivial.  

- Usually, she doesn’t even pay much attention to it, but this time, exhaustion, stress, or a moment of vulnerability probably made the situation unbearable.  

- And as always, if you have questions no one can answer, the solution is probably at the bottom of a glass.  

- She doesn’t want to burden you with how she feels; it’s not even your fault, and she knows it’s stupid to feel this way. But when she’s forced to confront the idea that you may not a constant in her life, that maybe you want something better, something more—at that moment, she needs to get out, to scream, to punch something, with enough alcohol in her system to pass out in an alleyway.  

- She struggles to talk about it, hates making you responsible for her emotions, and hates that she has to make you worry when it’s not your fault.  

- When you bring it up and try to approach her with an attitude that makes her feel reassured, she has moments of being emotionally fragile, more vulnerable than usual.  

 Caitlyn:

- This woman is a lady killer—it’s sadly very normal for people to get jealous of her.  

- At work, during conferences, or noble meetings, she’s used to people flirting with her. That’s why, when she sees someone flirting with you, her first thought is that they might be making you uncomfortable.  

- If she sees you’re actually uncomfortable, she’ll personally step in to ensure the other person leaves.  

- If she doesn’t see you uncomfortable, she’ll observe you for a few minutes, becoming distracted and absent from her own conversations, lost in analyzing what she’s seeing. -However, she dislikes waiting to address issues, so expect her to ask if something is wrong between the two of you as soon as you’re home.  

- Caitlyn’s issue is that her thoughts ferment. If she doesn’t address the matter immediately, each day will make her mood worse, leading to unnecessary tension.  

- She might not shake off that strange feeling immediately and could remain distant until the next day, but it’s not punitive. Her emotions catch her off guard and make her colder unintentionally.  

- She’ll make up for it completely the following day.  

- She’ll also ensure she gets matching rings for both of you, so they can serve as a signal to others.  

 Mel:

- For Mel, jealousy is just bitterness.  

- She doesn’t show it. Her training in always appearing reliable and cordial means she’s adept at masking her feelings. So, when she sees someone flirting with you at a gala, her gaze lingers for just a few moments before she returns to smiling at her conversation partner.  

- A little passive-aggressive, with comments like “I saw you had fun” or “So, tell me about…”—but not meant to provoke you.  

- She’s the first to acknowledge that at meetings and galas, one must be adaptable, charming, smiley, and captivating. She knows that flirting is often part of the façade or just a small piece of a larger strategy, so what may sound like provocation is usually her way of asking what was on your mind.  

- Her bitter jealousy becomes stronger and more genuine when there’s no strategy, no deeper game, but the person continues attending events and spends all their time trying to flirt with you. In these cases, she won’t hesitate to interrupt with a firm, “Excuse us,” and lead you to the balcony.  

- No scene, no lecture—just a curt and slightly sad, “I only ask that you don’t make a fool of me.”  

- When reassured that there was never even the intention of doing so, she becomes almost an accomplice. Have fun (within limits), gather amusing or trivial information, and tell her all about it later when you’re alone under the sheets.  

 Sevika:

- Sorry to disappoint, but she’s the least jealous character here.  

- Her most stable relationships have all been at the brothel. If someone flirts with you, she’ll wait until the person leaves to comment on how slimy they were or how you seem to attract everyone without exception.  

- Zaun is precarious; her job is precarious; even staying alive is extremely precarious. She doesn’t have time for jealousy. To her, it wouldn’t make sense to get angry or even cause a scene just because someone flirts with you when she can’t be around much or offer you stability herself.  

- She knows perfectly well that her mechanical arm, her boss, her boss’s daughter, the drug use, and the dangerous work she does make her someone it’s hard to stay close to. But this doesn’t make her insecure—rather, it makes her grateful.  

- It’s your choice to stay by her side, and if you ever want to leave, she believes you should feel free to do so without fearing any outburst from her.  

- When you reassure her that you’d never betray, replace, or leave her, she pulls you close with one arm, kisses your forehead, and gives the faintest smile.  

- That said, if someone flirts too much and you complain about their persistence, Sevika will handle it diplomatically—by picking them up and slamming them against the wall in front of you, making sure the point sinks in effectively.  

[lovsome]

friends arent supposed to make u feel like garbage

[sunderwight]

Modern AU where Shen Yuan accidentally sugar-daddies everyone.

So for the purposes of this, Shen Yuan's family is basically $10 Bananas levels of cluelessly rich. Shen Yuan has almost never had to look at the prices of anything he wants. He and his siblings all get an allowance from the family's main account, which increases when they reach adulthood, and in the interest of fairness his parents made it all the same size. So Shen Yuan gets the same amount of money for his daily living expenses as his older brothers with their penthouse apartments and vacation homes and private jets, at least from the family account (since he doesn't work, he doesn't actually make as much as them in total because they earn more on top of their allowances).

And the thing is, Shen Yuan genuinely just lives a lot more humbly. He likes people but what would he do with a vacation house? Anything really nice would probably require him to fly to get out there, and he gets sick as hell on planes. Living in the central city is also not great for him, because the air pollution is so bad. Having a whole house to himself would also be ridiculous. So he has a reasonable apartment, in a reasonable area, and he splurges every so often on purchases that make him happy and take-out food that he likes, and of course he pays a cleaning service to come in twice a week. Most people assume he's comfortably middle class and has some tech job he does from home, but he's been getting a lot more than he's been spending in his monthly allowances for years now, and the figures are big.

Enter into this environment author Airplane and his trash novels. Novels, multiple, because in this AU there's no PIDW, and instead after some alternate PIDW prototype got popular in the harem genre, Airplane decided to churn out a series of copy-paste shorter stories rather than recycling the same subplots in one massively long epic.

Shen Yuan of course discovers Airplane's writing and becomes as obsessed with it as ever, except this time he notices that if there are delays between new stories, they seem to clear up faster whenever he throws some cash at the problem. And also that the drops in Airplane's writing quality coincide with times when Shen Yuan was having health issues and not keeping up with his VIP purchases. So, he works out that Airplane's probably doing the writing for the money, and that when Peerless Cucumber isn't paying the most for it, Airplane starts listening to the other buffoons in the comment section more to try and entice them to pay his bills instead.

Peerless Cucumber leaves a comment on one of Airplane's latest stories that kicks off the two of them actually chatting, and Shen Yuan eventually gets to the point of offering to fund all Airplane's writing, in exchange for Airplane not doing his crap sellout stuff to appeal to other readers anymore. Airplane thinks he's joking or maybe mocking him. Shen Yuan asks how much it would cost. Airplane fires off a ridiculous number. Shen Yuan doesn't even blink and wires him the first payment. Then he gets annoyed because Airplane leaves him on read for a while, but that's because Airplane is staring at his account balance in shock.

Of course, it's Airplane who starts referring to Peerless Cucumber as his sugar daddy. Shen Yuan is just like "based on your sex scenes I don't think anyone would pay you for that" and Airplane's all "but you WOULD pay for my sex scenes ^_~" and Shen Yuan's like "technically I am actually paying you not to write that shit" and so on. Usual banter. The quality of Airplane's writing improves dramatically, a lot of his readership drops off but he does get new readers and gradually builds up an even bigger fanbase than before, and so on, it all goes pretty well. He eventually writes a few things that take off to the point of getting physical publications and international translations. Technically Airplane no longer needs Shen Yuan to pay all of his bills by that point but he's not going to tell Shen Yuan that! The contract's still good as long as he keeps writing!

Then one of Airplane's online acquaintances runs into some financial trouble and asks for help.

Liu Mingyan used to beta read for Airplane back when he wrote fanfiction (she was like thirteen, Airplane was unaware because internet and hey free beta), and it seems her family has hit a rough patch. She wants tips on how to go pro, but Airplane explains that it was extremely difficult and he mostly lucked out by finding a single wealthy backer. Mingyan wonders if the same guy would be interested in her writing, Airplane sadly thinks not because Mingyan exclusively writes kinky danmei erotica and Peerless Cucumber seems pretty firmly in the closet still and also generally prefers plotty and world-building heavy stuff.

But like, Airplane has definitely gotten a vibe off of Cucumber-bro, and Mingyan's gorgeous older brother does video streams of himself doing cool martial arts and swordsmanship stuff. So he asks her permission and when she gives it, he recommends Liu Qingge's videos to Shen Yuan, being sure to mention that the guy in question can't really afford to keep up with his hobbies and oh what a shame it would be if he had to stop making art like that.

Haha, Airplane, you're not subtle.

Even so, Shen Yuan watches the videos and immediately agrees that Liu Qingge is beauty in motion, and that it would be criminal to deprive the world of more videos of his sword. Swordsmanship! That is the, the art of, martial arts! Definitely. He clicks the donate button, reasoning out that he'll just send a donation about the size of his usual monthly payments to Airplane and call it his good deed for the day.

Liu Qingge is very confused by this new follower from nowhere who suddenly dumped a little over a month's rent into his account. One thing leads to another, with Mingyan and Airplane conspiring to try and get Shen Yuan as a permanent patron, and then Liu Qingge being let in on it. Except that Airplane keeps referring to Shen Yuan as his sugar daddy, and well... it's not like Liu Qingge doesn't ever get 'those' kinds of comments on his videos. At first he's embarrassed, then offended, then mortified that his own younger sister is apparently setting him up to make premium private videos for what he assumes is some old pervert who is going to want him to do untoward things.

However, their options are pretty bleak at the moment, and Liu Qingge worries that if he doesn't do this then Mingyan might. She even mentions something to the effect of having planned to offer herself, and only didn't because she wasn't this "sugar daddy" guy's type!

Teeth clenched, Liu Qingge asks Airplane stiltedly for advice on how to... appeal, to this wealthy benefactor.

In the end though it's not nearly as bad as Liu Qingge feared. He winds up doing more videos in costumes and cosplay, which ought to have been an untenable expense, but Peerless Cucumber always ends up covering the cost of whatever he invests in plus extra. Sometimes he sends Liu Qingge stuff with a request to wear it, but so far it's just been like, badass warrior-themed or historical costumes. Nothing overtly pervy. He does some LARPing, he makes enough to start doing horseback archery again, convinces some of his good-looking peers from various clubs to spar with him, and ultimately the most risque videos he ends up doing are the ones where he demonstrates how to put on certain kinds of gear. He still locks those ones behind paid subscribers only, mostly because he feels like he's doing something illicit now, even if he used to show more skin on his older videos any time he took his shirt off.

Peerless Cucumber doesn't leave creepy comments, either. In fact he seems genuinely nice and supportive, it's hard not to like him, and so even once his situation levels out Liu Qingge decides there's not really much need to stop making videos for him. (He maybe even gets a little giddy thrill over... well, sometimes he finds it all a bit... just when he thinks about Peerless Cucumber watching him demonstrate his physical prowess and finding that alone worth... ANYWAY--)

So that goes on for a while, before Yue Qi enters the scene.

Yue Qi is the childhood friend of one of Shen Yuan's older brothers (Shen bros!) and Shen Jiu owes him a big favor for something that he won't talk about. At least he won't talk to Shen Yuan about it. But Yue Qi is also not the type to ask for help, and Shen Jiu is very bad at offering it, so when Shen Jiu gets word that Yue Qi is having some difficulties making ends meet, he tells Shen Yuan to act as the middle man. Go offer Qi-ge money, he knows you're nice he'll just accept it, and then Shen Jiu will pay the actual bill.

Well it turns out that Yue Qi doesn't just accept it, of course he sees right through it, and gently but firmly tells Shen Yuan that he's not interested in burdening Shen Jiu further than he already has. Etc, etc, stoic stiff upper lips and no proper communication all around. Shen Yuan panics because it's not working and he's also genuinely worried about Yue Qi by now, so he tries to figure out how to make it compelling and basically blurts that, well, see, the thing is that sometimes he pays men to entertain him. You know. To like. Do things, for him. So. He could also pay Yue Qi? To do something for him?

Yue Qi gets the wrong idea entirely, and at first is like, oh, no, A'Yuan, you shouldn't be paying people for that! These things should just happen organically! But Shen Yuan is very adamant that he believes in compensating people for what they do for him, it's not like he can't afford to, and it gets awkward but Yue Qi is like well he does have health problems. It's perhaps difficult for him to meet people. So then he starts worrying about Shen Yuan and all these strange men he's apparently paying for "entertainment". Does his brother know about this?

No of course Shen Jiu doesn't know! He'd hate it, and Shen Yuan doesn't want to hear about how he's doing everything wrong with his life again!

Then Shen Yuan mentions that his prior house cleaning service up and quit on him (they didn't), and if Yue Qi would like to earn fair compensation he could just come over sometimes to help instead, and Shen Yuan would pay him just to tidy up and hang out for a few hours! Which Yue Qi thinks is a fantastic idea, actually, even if Shen Yuan is only doing this because of his brother, this will give Yue Qi a chance to keep an eye on him and his so-called entertainers. Even if he sort of... ends up also being one?

Shen Yuan keeps everything above board, though his apartment always seems perfectly clean and he overpays way too much (Shen Jiu is still footing this bill after all), and Yue Qi starts to think maybe he actually is being paid for intimacy. Of a sort that they're maybe still working up to? Shen Yuan usually has a very thin face after all. He's kind of got two minds about this prospect. On the one hand, he's got his situationship with Shen Jiu, so dating his brother would be absurd. But on the other hand, it's not actually dating, and he does like Shen Yuan, and maybe if they can be good company for each other then Yue Qi won't feel so depressed and Shen Yuan won't need to hire strange men so often.

Meanwhile it's come to Shen Yuan's attention, perhaps through an offhand comment he read online somewhere, that people who are struggling financially often also struggle to "treat themselves". Because even when they have enough money to be comfortable there's often the looming specter of deprivation, and etc, so he figures he should start buying some of his dependents more treats and things. Since they might not buy them for themselves? And also he's enjoying doing this but shhh no he isn't, it's a huge hassle, he's only doing it out of basic moral decency, etc.

So like, Airplane starts getting little things that he'd put on some public wish lists, clearly sent by Peerless Cucumber. And he tells Mingyan to make a list for Liu Qingge too, and sure enough, Liu Qingge (bewildered, slightly flustered) tries to figure out what he's supposed to do with an album from a band he likes and some high-end leather polish. Ultimately settles on playing the music and wearing his nicest leather in his next video. Yue Qi starts arriving at Shen Yuan's place to be plied with his favorite coffees and to have scented candles awkwardly foisted onto him (Shen Yuan does not know what Yue Qi likes in gifts) (he buys these presents himself they're not out of Shen Jiu's pocket).

So finally Shen Yuan's parents start to notice that he's been spending a lot more than usual, and start to worry that he's either been taken in by a scam artist or is secretly dating a gold digger or has developed a drug addiction or something. But asking things directly like normal people is basically illegal in the Shen family, so they decide to hire a private investigator.

Enter Luo Binghe, a young man of humble background who is struggling to make ends meet after the untimely death of his adoptive mother, and is using his P.I. job and his online cooking videos to help pay his way through school (scholarship student). Usually his cases are more like, cyberstalking someone to find out if they're cheating on their spouse, or helping someone planning a lawsuit accumulate evidence on their corrupt employer, or other things like that. When he gets the Shen Yuan case, the idea that the Shen family's son is paying for "company" is well within his list of probable answers.

Though this one is a little... peculiar?

Mostly because Binghe can't find evidence of Shen Yuan actually getting what he would, presumably, be paying for. At first Luo Binghe just goes through the online paper trails, using the info that the Shen parents give him to figure out that Shen Yuan is paying Airplane and Swordmaster Liu (*cough*) what seem to be exorbitant prices just for trashy fiction and cosplay videos. He assumes this is a cover, that someone's actually delivering drugs or going over for "private meetings" or at least actually sending dirty videos as well, but even when he pays for Liu Qingge's VIP access it's just tutorials and such. Neither of these guys are even on any of the sites that are more lenient towards hosting explicit content. Luo Binghe's aware that kinks aren't always obviously sexual, but people don't usually pay through the nose for the kind of content they can easily find for free all over the place, either.

He digs a little more but keeps coming up empty on evidence to clarify which of the many vices the Shen family's son is actually indulging in. Which is a problem because that's the information they're paying him to find out. Plus his curiosity kind of piques as he reads Shen Yuan's seemingly quite invested comments on Airplane's writing and Liu Qingge's videos, looking to see if there's any kind of clandestine code or pattern. But near as he can tell, whatever else Shen Yuan might be getting out of these arrangements, he does genuinely like the stories and videos too? Well. Sometimes. Sometimes he's actually scathingly vitriolic towards Airplane's writing.

Luo Binghe decides that surveilling Shen Yuan himself is probably the way to go. That gets more complicated in court cases, but since the Shen parents just wants to know what's going on and aren't planning on prosecuting their son for anything, it doesn't matter as much if Luo Binghe gets information in sneaky or underhanded ways.

So, Binghe uses the account he created to access Liu Qingge's videos to chat with Shen Yuan a few times, and then recommends his own cooking channel. Shen Yuan doesn't seem too interested in cooking, so Luo Binghe makes sure to include a video that has an image of himself in his recommendation, and then films a few new videos of himself cooking with his shirtsleeves rolled up to three quarters and a few more buttons than usual unbuttoned, adopting a more flirty persona than he typically does for his shows. He takes his cues from some of Liu Qingge's more popular videos for how to be enticing bait.

It takes a few videos, but eventually Shen Yuan comments. Luo Binghe latches onto the chance to start talking to him, playing up a persona of a vulnerable young man with little means who is trying hard to make it through school, etc, and sure enough Shen Yuan seems interested. Well, most predatory people like vulnerable targets, don't they?

However... Shen Yuan just sends him a chunk of money.

Luo Binghe is confused.

Isn't he supposed to ask for something or create some kind of expectation of repayment first? But, maybe this is his approach to handling new targets. Maybe he's just trying to lull Binghe into a false sense of complacency, before he starts indicating what he wants from all of this. Luo Binghe makes sure to move the money Shen Yuan sends him into a separate account, so that if the Shen parents get angry about it then he can return it as a gesture of good faith.

But Shen Yuan just keeps sending supportive comments and donations. Eventually he leaves a comment that alludes to how badly he'd like to taste Binghe's cooking, and Binghe is like finally, but when he implies that they could perhaps meet in person and Luo Binghe could thank him for his support by making him something, Shen Yuan backs off.

Things eventually progress to the point where Luo Binghe, who is a totally normal person treating this like a totally normal job still thank you very much, is basically camping out in the bushes in front of Shen Yuan's apartment building. At some point he conscripts the aid of his weird cousin (finding his birth family was how he got into this business initially), and then almost immediately regrets it because Shen Yuan helps get Zhuzhi Lang a job doing landscaping for his building.

Why would he want Zhuzhi Lang close but not Binghe? Binghe is much handsomer! He'd make an excellent target for seduction! >:(

Anyway eventually Yue Qi catches Luo Binghe lurking around like a creeper and is like, finally, I have caught one of these suspicious men, whilst Binghe is like oh so he does have a lover, well this guy sucks and is clearly not good enough for him, and they both try and chase one another off and Shen Yuan comes home to a heated passive-aggressive-politeness war being waged in front of his apartment. Eventually he realizes the misunderstanding and calls everyone together (zoom conference? in-person meet-up?) to clarify that he is not paying any of them for "special favors", that was just Airplane being deranged about his sense of humor, and then he has no idea what to do when the prevailing response seems to be disappointment.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

So I waste a lot of time watching youtube videos about shitty cryptogames. For those who have better uses of their time than I do and don't understand how cryptogames work and why there's six billion of them, let me explain.

The idea behind your standard cryptogame is that you cobble together some bare-bones crafting game or rpg or something, and you sell the players virtual real estate for real money. It doesn't *have* to be real estate -- sometimes it's NFTs that give you a play advantage or creatures the players use to fight or something -- but it's usually real estate. Cryptobros get in early and buy the virtual real estate while it's 'cheap', with the expectation that when the game really takes off, they can sell it for tons of money to other players. The real estate usually offers some in-game advantage (you can build on it, or you get voting rights, or you can tax shop owners on it, or something), but some games don't even bother with that and rely purely on "you bought it so other players will want to buy it from you".

Why does this fail, constantly? Because nobody cares about the actual game. Other games *have* successfully monetised this stuff, but cryptogames never succeed, because almost everyone in these communities are people who are just there to buy crypto stuff with the sole goal of selling that crypto stuff to someone else in the community. The games are never fun enough (or frequently, even playable enough) to bring in a real player base. They serve no purpose, fill no need, and bring in nothing except more cryptobros easily duped out of their money in the hopes of duping someone else out of their money. Asking "so why will players be interested in coming to our Virtual Libertarian Empire and making us any money?" or "how will this game make anyone money anyway?" or "when will this game become a game?" gets you kicked from their discords for spreading fear. Of course this game is gonna take off, bro. If it wasn't, would it be expanding so fast at this early stage? Would so many people be eager to buy virtual real estate in it? This is the next big thing in gaming. (Then the creators take the cryptobros' money and ghost them.)

Why am I bringing all this up? I dunno. Every time I see them putting a new AI Virtual Assistant in something I get weirdly reminded of cryptogaming. For... some reason.