#usually having a favorite artist IMPLIES that they speak to you more but yeah

[become-a-robot]

I like TMBG more, but I think LW&JSC speaks to me more, if that makes sense?

[another-goblin]

2.1 Spoilers, Aventurine analysis

I regret to say that I enjoyed Aventurine's story much less than I should have. And not because it was bad, but because it was spoiled for me by people who don't tag their leaks, mostly fanartists. People call it one of the best stories in the game so far, and I usually love emotional stuff like that, but instead I was just going through the motions. 

Yeah, child Aventurine, Aventurine in shakles, whatever, I've been forcefed all this stuff a month ago, I already saw dozens of arts of it against my will, let's move on. To all these artists - I hope not adding one little "hsr leaks" to your tags was worth it.

(speaking of which - my current goal is to unhate that new cowboy guy before he actively enters the story. Currently, I can't stand the sight of him, and for exactly the same reason, untagged leaks. He seems like a potentially great character, and he's already quite popular. And hating a popular character isn't fun at all)

But not to be too negative, even though I weren't allowed to enjoy 2.1 story as much as it deserves, I still liked it quite a lot, and it's a testament to how well written Aventurine is. 

One of the worst things you can do to a character is to make them emotionally static. Aventurine doesn't suffer from this at all, it's shown very well in the different ways he talks to people, and that's what I wanted to talk about.

The first way is what I call "slimey creep." It's the way he mostly talks in 2.0 to TB and most other characters, and he's quite antogonistic and unlikeable, probably because it's his goal to seem antogonistic and unlikeable.

Second is the fear and desperation that's always under the surface, carefully hidden, what his future self talks about - we can see it when Sunday does his harmony thing on him.

And third, my favorite, is what I call "disarming sincerity." Not that he's neseccerily insincere in his other modes, but this is his dippest self, hidden under all the layers of pain, fear, and cynicism. He shows it when he talks to his younger self (btw I don't usually go there, but it made me think that he'd be great with children.)

We also see him using it for self-defense - when Ratio goes too far in 2.0, he retorts with this seemingly naive "I didn't go to school and my parents "left" me", and Ratio immediately apologizes.

But most interestingly, he uses it with Ratio, most of the time they spend together in 2.1 up until the "betrayal.". 

It might be a deliberate ploy to manipulate him, trying to seem more likeable, to assure his loyalty (Ratio's reaction to "I didn't go to school" showed that he's quite susceptible to it).

It might come from his realization that the end is near, and why not just be yourself and have some fun for a change.

Or, of course, it might be because he actually enjoys Ratio's company and feels safe enough to show this hidden vulnerable side of himself.

The truth is probably somewhere in between.

They both joke and bicker (with Ratio remembering from time to time that he's supposed to show his "hatred" of Aventurine), and they both seem to really enjoy it. They argue about birds, Aven gets excited about the sandpit, and so on.

Let's take the joke Sparkle made about Aventurine and Sunday (about undressing and kneeling down) - it's mean and maybe even cruel, considering certain things from Aventurine's past that weren't directly implied but can be assumed, probably. And let's compare it with the joke he himself makes about him and Sunday ("now that I'm tiny I can hide on Sunday's clothes and spy on the Family, hehe, uwu"). It's a joke you'd expect from a child. Or from an adult who feels comfortable enough in your presence that they aren't afraid to seem childish or silly.

So yeah I'd really like to see them interact in a less stressful situation after these events. tbh I think they'd talk in more or less the same way. Aventurine already feels as safe and open around Ratio as he can allow himself to. And Ratio is too rigid in the way he speaks, he won't change that easily. 

In defiance of a tired stereotype of an eccentric genius who is bad with people, Ratio seems quite good at understanding them. What he's bad at is expressing his feelings in a "convencional" way.

(he only sounds sincere and emotional when he talks about abstract matters he's passionate about, like his little speech to Screwllum at the end of his quest. He probably sounds like that when he talks about science too.)

But when it comes to his feelings towards people he becomes even more formal and strict (remember his messages from the valentine's day event on twitter)

I can imagine his thought process after he leaves Aventurine in 2.1.

"I verbally expressed my concern to him, which should reassure him of my loyalty and support. Furthermore, I provided him with an insightful and reassuring message in written form. So he should be fine."

btw speaking of that note, when I read it, I can imagine Ratio saying "Do stay alive" aloud. But I can't imagine how he'd say the next line, wishing him luck. I mean, he can't say it in his usual "I'm tired of idiots" way of speaking, right? Something to look forward to.

[faradaykay]

A New Year's Kiss || Tenkaede

Tenko and Kaede have a very "friendly and platonic" conversation about one of the most common New Year's Eve holiday traditions.

Tags: Fluff, Tenko Chabashira x Kaede Akamatsu (romantic), SFW

A/N: hello i woke up today and just. wrote this entire thing. i am slightly embarrassed about it, not my best work and very silly and drabble-y so don't judge it too harshly, but um!! yes here have some girlies being girlies!! (also note that the reason that they keep mentioning "boyfriends" is bc i wanted to imply the girlies are still a bit closeted. but this is still a lesbian tenko only account so please don't misunderstand that thanks!!)

It was almost midnight on New Year’s Eve, and Kaede couldn’t be happier with the way she was spending it; her entire class had been invited to a party that was being hosted by Miu, but she had opted not to go, instead inviting Tenko to spend time with her privately. It wasn’t that she didn’t like parties or being around her other classmates, but welcoming the new year just seemed much more special as an intimate moment between her and her closest friend.

As they waited for midnight, Kaede was gently braiding Tenko’s hair, something she liked to do every time they spent time together. Her friend’s long, dark hair was soft between her fingers, easily slipping into braids as she gently weaved each strand. The music softly playing in the background added to the ambiance, all trendy pop songs made by various girl artists that Tenko had chosen. None of the songs were ones that Kaede recognized compared to the classical music that she usually listened to herself, but just knowing it was all of Tenko’s favorite music made her love it as much as she loved her own favorite songs.

For a while, neither of the two girls interrupted the peaceful ambiance they had created in the room, but eventually, Tenko was the one to finally break the silence. “Hey, Kaede?”

“Hmm?”

Kaede turned her full attention to the girl as she waited for a response, but Tenko suddenly turned very red, stuttering on her next words. “U-um, never mind! It was nothing…” Kaede giggled at this, knowing her friend was always very quick to fluster like this.

“Tenko… you can tell me anything, you know that. You’re my best friend,” she said in an attempt to soothe her. Tenko exhaled at this, relaxing her tensed shoulders and speaking again, this time much more calmly and clearly.

“Yeah, you’re right…” She took some time to contemplate before saying her next words, and Kaede waited in anticipation of what had Tenko so bothered this time. “Kaede… have you ever had a New Year’s kiss?” Kaede’s eyes widened slightly at the question considering it had been the last thing she expected to be asked, but after her initial shock, she just softly smiled.

“Yes, I have, but it was never anything too special. Just with some friends,” she answered, fondly reminiscing on her memories from past New Year’s parties as she spoke. Kaede had always been the type of person to be openly affectionate with her close friends, disregarding what seemed strange to other people entirely, so casually kissing her platonic friends was one of her favorite New Year’s traditions from before her time at Hope’s Peak. “Never with, like… a boyfriend or anything, though.”

“So you just… kissed your friends…!?” Tenko was once again shocked and flustered, and Kaede couldn’t stop herself from giggling again, finding all her reactions adorable.

“Mhmm. It’s really not a big deal. It’s just a kiss, no reason you should have to be dating someone to kiss them,” she explained, finishing off Tenko’s braid and carefully clipping her large green bow into her hair. “It was just for fun, but maybe one day, I’ll get to have a romantic New Year’s kiss. How about you?”

“No… I’ve never had a New Year’s kiss… I could never just kiss someone so casually like you!! I mean, don’t you get super nervous?”

“Mmm… not really when it’s just my friends, no. Maybe I’d be more nervous if it were romantic, but I haven’t tried, so I don’t know,” she explained with a shrug. “If you want, I can show you. I’ll be your first New Year’s kiss and you’ll see that it’s no big deal.” Kaede thought her suggestion was quite casual, but with the way that Tenko froze for several seconds and then buried her tomato-red face in her hands, she wondered if she had pushed too far.

“Wh-!! You can’t just… you can’t just suggest that!! I haven’t even… kissed anyone before…” Tenko then buried her face in her knees, letting out an exasperated sigh. Kaede hummed in understanding; she’d never asked about her friend’s past romantic experiences, but she had just assumed everyone their age had at least kissed someone before. Then again, Kaede supposed she was practically in the same boat as Tenko to some extent; she had shared plenty of kisses before, but none of them actually had any romantic meaning.

“I see… then I’m sorry if I pressured you, Tenko.” She gently wrapped her arm around her friend and traced her fingers up and down her back soothingly. “Don’t even worry about my offer. I understand if you want to save your first kiss, and I’ll be cheering you on when you find that someone special to share it with.”

“W-well…” Tenko looked up from her knees, briefly making eye contact with Kaede before blushing and looking away. “I didn’t say no… I mean… best friends are pretty special, right? So maybe it’s better to share your first kiss with a best friend… than with some… boy that you’ll probably break up with eventually anyway…”

Kaede gave her a soft giggle and nodded. “I guess you’re right. Then if you’re sure, I’d be honored to be your first kiss. And look, you decided right on time…” She pointed to the clock which currently read 11:59 PM. They both stared at the clock, waiting for the minute to change; the feeling of anticipation made seconds feel like years, but eventually, the time changed to midnight.

Kaede turned her eyes to Tenko, and she had a feeling in her stomach she wasn’t expecting: nervous butterflies. She hadn’t been lying when she said kissing her friends never made her nervous before, but something about this felt different as she leaned closer to the girl sitting next to her. Slowly, she brought up to her hand to tuck a few loose strands of Tenko’s hair behind her ear before cupping her soft cheek in her hand. She closed the space between them, brushing her lips gently against Tenko’s.

“Happy New Year, Tenko…” Instead of waiting for a response, she kissed the other girl, being gentle as she finally connected their lips. It took Tenko a few seconds to get used to the sensation, but once she did, she was quick to reciprocate. Kaede kept the pacing of the kiss soft and slow, and even when she noticed that she had let it last far longer than any platonic kiss she had given before, she simply couldn’t bring herself to pull away, and she instead wrapped her arm around Tenko to pull her closer.

It was already a couple of minutes later when Tenko was finally the one to pull away from the kiss, checking the clock. “I… I promised my parents I wouldn’t be home too late…”

“Right… yeah! That makes sense. You should start to make your way home.” It was Kaede’s turn to be flustered with the way she looked down at the ground instead of directly at Tenko as she responded, nervously rubbing her arm with her hand.

“Hey, Kaede?”

“...hmm?”

“You were wrong.” Kaede looked up at the other girl in confusion at this, waiting for her to explain what she meant. “I don’t really think… that was no big deal. And I think… it should happen again sometime.” Kaede nodded slowly in understanding and agreement, too entranced by Tenko in that moment to fully respond. “For now, I have to go, but… happy New Year, Kaede.”

With that, Tenko stood up, waved, and left through the door, leaving Kaede with a swarm of thoughts filling her head. She had never felt the way she did when she was kissing Tenko before in her entire life, and that moment they shared had welcomed many new feelings that Kaede had yet to decipher and understand.

However, despite the anxiousness brought on by all of the unfamiliarity, Kaede couldn’t help but be excited as well. With the new year came a new opportunity to re-explore her relationship with Tenko, and if they could continue to share moments like the one they had on this New Year’s Day, then she was glad to welcome the changes.

[achillieus]

let you down. (sebastian stan x reader)

summary: it's a universal truth but it's worth repeating; feelings eat us raw. or just an actor and a girl falling in and out of love over the course of three months.

(this was inspired by sebastian's visit to greece for his movie, monday, and is based on that, so that means in the story we’re in 2018. also i have this posted on ao3 too but while i’m writing the last parts i thought of posting it here too)

pairing: sebastian stan x reader

warnings: alcohol, sexual references, implied depression, sebastian desperately needs to hug the reader, it's kinda slowburn because i love the yearning

(pinterest inspired board)

part: 1/6

(other parts)  (masterlist)

The day it happened, it wasn't a significant meeting at all, you barely even talked. In fact, when he opened the door of your neighbor’s flat that day with a beer in his right hand and his hair messy, he didn't have any effect on you. You always knew that living next to a director meant that sooner or later you’d bump into the pretty faces of well-known people. Sure, you didn’t expect them to be Hollywood actors like him, but to say you were starstruck by the man, would be the overstatement of the year.

The building you’ve lived in for the last three years has five floors; you live in the 4th, he lives in the 5th. He’s a quiet person, usually spending his evenings out of his apartment. You’ve talked sometimes, about the weather and the weird lady that lives in the 1st floor. You’ve never told him you find his directing style a little pretentious.

You’ve never been to his place until that annoyingly warm August evening, when you find a white button up shirt on your balcony. You can clearly see more clothing when you look up and you’re certain the item you’re holding belongs to him.

He’s not there though. Instead you find a different face behind the door. Lighter eyes and darker hair. The man in front of you is definitely younger than the director. You don’t bother to notice what he’s wearing.

“Can I help you?” His voice is deeper than you expected. Stronger, with a touch of European accent. The sound of English surprises you at first but soon you realize he must be another foreign coworker that came to visit your neighbor

“No, I just think Argyris dropped this and it ended up on my floor.”

He looks at you and then at the shirt, in your hands.

Then he says “Sure, I’ll take it.”

“Okay.”

Then it ends. He doesn’t even ask your name. You don’t have to ask his. You figure out, as soon as you walk down the stairs, that it’s Sebastian Stan that you just talked to.

And while being a big fan of marvel movies, you think nothing special of him at first. You just wonder how a mostly unknown director from Greece got an actor like Sebastian to come here so they can work together. It makes no sense to you, but you forget it when your phone starts ringing.

/

It would’ve been easier if you never saw him again, yet you do. You see him trying to understand what the old lady from the first floor is trying to tell him. You already know. The elevator is not working. The next day you see him walking up the stairs.

You exchange a quick hello, how are you and then off you both go.

The same night Argyris invites you to have a drink with them in the terrace. Part of you wants to just stay in bed and binge watch some Sherlock episodes. Part of you already thinks of what to wear.

There are around ten people there when you show up. They’re all sitting down in huge pillows drinking and talking loudly. You don’t know most of them.

You sit next to a blonde girl, across from Sebastian. This time you notice he’s wearing a plain black shirt and holds a glass of whiskey.

You don’t share any direct conversations but you learn that he’s afraid of growing old and that he thinks Taxi Driver is one fucking masterpiece, as he says.

When you mention that you’re probably the least artistic person in the room right now, you hear him laugh.

A curly haired woman starts dancing with him at some point. You decide he’s not a good dancer.

He leaves the same time you do, following you down the stairs.

“I thought you live here.” You say when he doesn’t stop at the floor you expect him to.

“Ah no, I stay at a hotel near the centre.”

He keeps talking about his suite until you reach your door.

You part in a blur, with a short goodbye.

He still doesn’t ask for your name.

It makes you feel genuinely offended.

/

Two days after, he is the farthest thing from your mind, until you find him sitting in front of your door, his eyes roaming the place with despair. And then he sees you.

“Ah finally you are here.” He starts casually. “Thank god.”

You just nod.

“Argyris told me to wait for him with you. We had a meeting but he got stuck in traffic.”

You give him a look.

“He said you’re always at home so you won’t mind.”

Ouch. Yeah sure, your social life wasn’t something to brag about but for some reason the way Sebastian said it, it sounded like an insult.

“Okay, come in.” You shrug, clearly not feeling comfortable and turn around to unlock the door.

You hear him call your name. You thought he didn’t know.

“Yes?”

He offers you an easy smile.  “Thank you.”

/

Sitting in your couch he’s eyeing the entire room, while you put some groceries in the fridge.

“Argyris says you’re a great girl.” He clears his throat. “But he thinks you’re too quiet for your own good.”

You look at him, your eyes flicking up and down his face.

“And from what I can tell, he’s right.”  You hear him laugh.

It felt weird to see him laugh while he was leaning back at your cozy pillow. He had entered your life so suddenly you didn’t even have time to react to it.

“I’m sorry but I barely know you.” Your words are sharp. He sits up.

“Okay then let’s get to know each other, what’s your favorite Disney princess?”

Defeated, you laugh. “Are you kidding me?”

“No, this is an important question.”

You wait for him to crack up but then you remember he’s an actor.

“I don’t know.” You think for a second. “Mulan?”

“Oh my god. Mulan is amazing.” You smile at him. “My favorite is Jasmine, she’s just so badass.”

You share your favorites that day, having almost nothing in common rather than your everlast love for animated movies and buttered popcorn.

When it’s time for him to leave, he stops and looks at you in the eye.

“You should talk more often.”

You stare at him with confusion. “I talk,” you raise your eyebrows. “When I have something to say.”

“Good.” he says, still looking.

/

Later in the evening, you’re eating some yoghurt when he comes knocking on your door.

He’s different. The white tank top he was wearing this morning is replaced with a dark shirt and his face looks tired. You assume they’ve been working since he went upstairs.

“Hiii”, he says dragging the i, “Am I interrupting anything?”

You desperately want to nod. You want to tell him that you were doing the most exciting thing in the world, before he came but you were never a good liar.

So you just tilt your head and take a step back.

That’s when he enters and is met with some loud rock music blaring from your laptop.

“You like AC/DC?” he asks, almost wide-eyed.

“Well, I can tell it’s them when I hear their stuff.”  For the first time that day, he seems to be in loss of words. “Why are you so surprised?”

He sits in the same spot in the couch as earlier and laughs.

“I just didn’t take you for the kind of girl who likes this music.” It’s your turn to laugh.

“Why?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. Quiet girl who loves animated films and eats kids’ yoghurt” he looks at the carton in your kitchen table, “and also likes metal music? Doesn’t add up.”

“We’ve basically just met; you shouldn’t make assumptions about me.”

“Fair enough.” He sits back, fidgeting with his fingers.

You take some time just looking at him

There was a certain vibe about that man that made you wonder how it’d feel to cruise down a dessert highway in a convertible mustang with him. In the summer. With him wearing that white tank top.

The color of strawberries emerges at your cheeks just at the thought of it.

You wish he doesn’t notice.

You’re glad to find him looking the other way, before he speaks up.

“We’re going out tonight.” His voice is warm now. “Argyris says you should come along, even though I’m quite sure there’s no hardcore music where we’re going.” He laughs again.

I can’t. You almost say. But then anxiety slips away from you and out of sudden you want him to stop being so freaking arrogant, going around and acting like he knows exactly what kind of person you are.

He thinks you’ll say no. You can see it in his eyes.

“Sure, when should I be ready?” you say, surprising both of you.

He looks at you for some time and then trying to hide whatever he was thinking he says the first thing on his mind.

“How old are you?” He sounds pitiful. He knows. He wishes he could hit a wall; with his head.

“Twenty-one.” His eyes scan yours, unsure of what they’re looking for. “Why?”

“No reason.”

He inhales deep.

/

You try to blink. You’re at a party in a little bar you’ve never been before and a lot of people are wearing black. Alcohol. You can still taste it on the back of your tongue. You don’t remember how you end up pressed against a dark skinned man, but you can tell he smells of cigarettes and despair.

You sway your body to the beat, close your eyes. Breath in. And out. You think the music deafens you for a second but you open your lids and see Sebastian and he’s watching you, unashamed.

He’s not that far, though it feels like it with countless bodies in the way. The music melts. His gaze is almost angelic. Or devious. You can’t really tell.

He’s dancing with that curly haired woman again. You wonder how intimate their relationship is.

The red neon lights make his skin glisten. His muscles move divinely. It makes you think there’s an entire world inside him, his flesh barely keeping it hidden. Out of sudden you get the urge to walk towards him. You want to see him up close under this dim lighting. But you don’t move.

The man that’s groping your waist asks for your name. You tell him you need to flee. He doesn’t understand.

You sit outside with the sweet summer breeze touching your bare arms. The bass of the music in the background syncs with the beating of your heart. You can feel your ribs grow with every breath you take. Until you stop breathing because the door opens and his eyes suffocate you.

You can’t fathom the effect he has on you. He was a pretty face on screen some days ago. But right now he steals distance and stays near you.

You don’t look his way. He doesn’t say a word. Nicotine and smoke surround you as he exhales. His fingers hold the cigarette butt with care.

“Do you want some?”

You turn to look at him.

“I don’t smoke.” He laughs.

“That doesn’t mean you don’t want some.”

You want to know if his breath has the taste of sulfur. You want to pretend it’s the alcohol or the loud music that makes your head hurt.

“What’s the best part of being an actor?” The blue in his eyes glows.

There’s silence but he seems to be thinking about it.

“Do you ever feel things too much?” He says, his voice hoarse. “I mean, when you feel something so intensely it becomes a part of who you are.”

You nod. You understand.

“Acting allows you to let go of these feelings,” he starts. “You share the burden with the audience until it becomes light and you can hold it again.”

You look at him, shaking your head.

“I don’t think I could that,” you close your eyes. “I don’t think I could share what I feel so easily.”

He stands up. The wind hits you again.

“A lot people can’t. That’s why everyone is heartbroken,” he takes a breath, “Feelings eat us raw.”

You both go to bed alone that night. Tomorrow there is a hole next to you.

/

the morning after, search history

(02:45 PM) hangover recovery

(03:00 PM) best food after a hangover

(03:10 PM) sebastian stan

(03:30 PM) sebastian stan girlfriend

(06:00 PM) xanax side effects

/

You follow him on Instagram. He doesn’t follow you back. You remember he probably gets tons of followers every day and decide not to let it bother you. Instead you study for the exams of the following month.

The subject of your studies doesn’t interest you. Another poor decision you made under pressure. Sometimes you feel as if your life is borrowed from someone else. Sometimes you feel as if you haven’t found your home yet.

Feelings eat us raw.

His girlfriend looks beautiful in the pictures you find online. The media isn’t certain if they’re still together but you like to think so. It makes it easier to avoid him.

But the universe seems to be oblivious to your thoughts and you see him that same day. You’re taking the garbage out and he’s coming down from the top floor. You meet in the elevator.

“I’m glad to see you’re still alive,” his eyes are smiling as he talks “you looked kinda drunk last night.”

You fidget with the hem of the bag you’re holding.

“I wasn’t drunk.” You notice he’s growing some stubble. You’re not sure you like it.

“Whatever you say, doll.”  You bite your cheek trying to devour any sign that might give away how his words make you flinch.

He turns his body a little so now you’re facing each other. He’s so pretty. He’s so pretty in a way that doesn’t hurt. You try not to stare at him, but you fail sometimes. You’ve never noticed how slow the elevator moves until you want to get out. You can’t stand being so close to him for much longer.

He’s an arrogant rich actor who loves Disney and smokes a lot, you think. I have no reason to be affected by him.

“Ah! Argyris said we’re leaving for the weekend.” You eye him curiously. “He wants to show us some small villages in the south. He thinks we should get to know the country a little more before we start.”

You’re stunned by your neighbor’s dedication to his work. Sometimes you wish you had something you could be passionate about too. Sometimes you think you’re never going to find it.

“That’s great. I’m sure you’ll like it.” You give him a smile.

He leans his back at the wall. The elevator stops. Finally.

“I like your eyes.” You grab tight onto the bag. “But they don’t smile when you do.”

He opens the door and he’s gone.

They tell you that it’s fun to meet a famous person. They tell you, you can ask for a photo and a hug. They tell you celebrities don’t talk a lot but that doesn’t mean they’re rude.

But he’s not like that.

He’s fire. He’s burning heat and scorching flames. His words are his thoughts; raw. You don’t like it.

/

late night search history

(00:38 AM) blue valentine movie soundtrack

(01:15 AM) is sebastian stan a bad person

(01:30 AM) acting classes for amateurs

(01:50 AM) cheap leather boots

(02:10 AM) sebastian stan eyes

 You find it annoying; how he’s present even when you’re alone.

Thankfully he’s leaving for the weekend, you think.

/

The weekend, however, is two days away.

You think you can get away without seeing him. And you do. Until it’s late at night again. And they’re all upstairs with music so loud you’re certain the lady on the first floor is going to be rude about it in the morning.

The music tempo has you unaffected. All you think about is if he’s dancing with that woman again.

He’s such a bad dancer, he should not be dancing.

There’s a subtle knock on your door. You know it’s him. You hope you’re wrong.

“Do you feel like dancing?” His face is all flustered. It’s a good look on him.

“You can’t come knocking on my door at 2 AM and ask me to dance.” His gaze is filled with confusion.

“So you don’t feel like dancing?” You roll your eyes. He notices.

“That’s not the point Sebastian.” It’s the first time you call him by his name. You let it slip away slowly, testing the way it sounds coming out of your mouth.

He takes a step closer. You are suddenly aware of your pyjama shorts and your exposed skin.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to irritate you.” His eyes are the cliché blue of the sky. “I just thought you might want to dance, that’s all.”

Suddenly you feel guilty and embarrassed. He’s oblivious to it.

For a moment you feel his eyes linger on you. It feels surreal.

You nod at him.

He’s ready to say something when Argyris comes down the stairs, his shirt slightly unbuttoned.

“Ah man, I thought you got lost or something.” You lower your eyes. “Stop messing with the poor girl. People are looking for you.”

He throws a smile at you and Sebastian takes a quick breath.

“People are always looking for me.”

He gives away that he’s carrying a burden. Your expression softens. But then you look at Argyris and you see he doesn’t really pay attention to these words.

You share a quick look before you’re there standing alone at your doorstep, trying to grasp the idea of him.

/

When you wake up you feel like running. You can’t fathom where the feeling comes from but it starts like a liquid running down your veins and soon you can’t stay in bed even for a second.

Feelings eat us raw. Only if you let them.

.

i really appreciate feedback, it motivates me tons and also tell me if you’d like to be tagged in this six part story :)

[anonymouslyangsty]

What’s your favorite talent swap?

I freaking LOVE Otaku!Mondo. Like oh so much. I’ve only seen one piece of art for it, but my god that art gave me feelings

I just imagine a situation where Mondo didn’t run the gang after the accident with Daiya. Maybe Daiya wasn’t totally able to save him, and Mondo got injured so badly that he wouldn’t be able to ride anymore.

Whatever the circumstances, I love the idea of Mondo getting really into fighting anime if he couldn’t ride with the Diamonds anymore. I can totally see him getting super into DBZ or Jojo, or something similarly manly and whatever.

And like, anime is all about that “with my friends, I can do anything!!!” and overcoming both mental and physical limitations. Maybe getting into anime could help Mondo get over some of that toxic masculinity of his and become a happier person.

Otaku!Mondo would still be loud and passionate, but definitely less angry. He wouldn’t have the same level of baggage canon Mondo has, so there’d be no need for all that aggression. 

He still can totally kick your ass though. And very well might if you imply that he’s ‘less of a man’ for knowing that Sailor Moon is cool as hell. 

So yeah! He’s a very extroverted, buff nerd and I adore that. Mondo but he went to therapy and got super into anime. 

I can’t see him being an artist like Hifumi though, even though this is supposed to be a talentswap with the guy. Maybe he sculps those action figures instead? That seems more Mondo’s style.

Speaking of Talentswaps, I’d be remiss not to mention my eyebrow son. This is another one of those “nobody makes art of it but I like it” talentswaps, but I’m really a fan of the idea of Ultimate Popstar!Kiyotaka.

Like, it seems like such a absolutely terrible talent for him. Because Taka is notorious bad with people, how the heck is he going to deal with fans? But the fact that Taka wouldn’t naturally be good at it is part of the reason why I adore it so much.

Popstar!Kiyotaka would be the same hard working, rigid, studious kid as in canon. His studying material would just be different. Instead he’s studying how to be likable, what smiles are charming, what fashion is ‘hip’. Even if he doesn’t understand it, he knows how to act like he does

Taka NEVER does impromptu interviews. His managers get the questions in advance every single time. That way, a script can be made for Taka so the boy doesn’t ruin his public image. 

Every interview, every public interaction, every movement is planned and pre scripted. Heck, they probably plant actors as ‘fans’ in the crowd to ask him questions. That way he stays in character and doesn’t look like he’s ignoring the people. 

But without a script? He goes right back to that “What is a ‘normal conversation’?” nature of his. And without a script, because he’s terrified that he’s going to ruin everything by being his usual, boring self. Taka’s basically a full time actor with no ability to ad-lib. 

I feel like Popstar!Taka would be far less confident than in canon. In canon, Taka is boldly and loudly himself. Sure he gets shot down sometimes, but he believes in himself and his values. And those values are going to improve the world, making it a place where the everyday man can succeed. 

But Popstar Taka? He has the same high standards on himself, the same self blaming nature. But to him, his personality is a limitation. Because his manager has made it clear that he has to hide who he is to be liked and successful in his line of work.

And that’s a pretty fundamental change from canon Taka, so I think there needs to be a fundamental change to his backstory. I’m thinking he never got the chance to become truly dedicated to the idea of becoming Prime Minister.

 Perhaps one of Toranosuke’s old ‘friends’ decides to do the Ishimarus a favor by offering a young Taka a position as a child star.

 Yep. Totally out of the goodness of the man’s heart. He’s definitely not going to Taka because the Ishimarus are in an unstable financial position and will thus sign just about any contract. And if he went to Taka before Takaaki? Well, he just wanted to see the boy again. Totally wasn’t attempting to get Taka on board with the idea so the kid would convince his father. 

So yeah Taka’s manager isn’t the best. He’s the one who told Taka that nobody would like him, so he has to work to be someone else on camera. He goes out of his way to break down Taka’s self esteem, which makes him far easier to control. There’s a lot of value in a star that’ll do anything you want. 

So yeah. All of Taka’s passion goes into becoming likable, not being Prime Minister in this case. After all, that was just a childish dream, wasn’t it? He shouldn't be so selfish! What he really needs to do is work hard as a popstar to pay off his family’s debts!

He’ll keep going even if he hates it. Hates the loud music and how vapid he has to act on camera. Hates how he can never talk about politics. Hates how he feels like he’s lying to everyone about who he really is. He has to do it for his father. Because doesn’t his father deserve not to have to work himself to death just to survive? 

Looking back, both Otaku!Mondo and Popstar!Taka take away a core part of the canon character, for better or for worse. Mondo isn’t as angry, and Taka isn’t as confident. 

Also, one more mini bonus talentswap: Ultimate Breeder!Kazuichi. I know that’s pretty basic, but listen. There are so many animals that are brightly colored to signify that they're dangerous, even if it’s a lie to avoid predators. That's basically what Kaz did with his hair and attitude. And I just think that’s perfect

[lovelivingmydreams]

Paper Flowers: one step forwards two steps back

Progress isn't always linear. And the setbacks can feel devastating. But it might still be worth it to try and move forward again.

A cute puppy jumps around excitedly, clearly asking to play, in a grassy field, on a sunny day.

Dad lays his hands to his heart. "Aw so cute!"

The dark Lord has his arms crossed, face partially hidden in the shadow of his pulled up hood. "Pathetic," he scoffs, not even looking.

A cat delicately washes her face. Dad gasps. "Elegant!"

Nemesis rolls his eye. "Obnoxious"

A horse prances around a meadow, hair flowing freely in the wind.

Dad stared on in awe and whispered: "Majestic."

Nemesis pinched the bridge of his nose. "Disgraceful"

Suddenly Dad jumped on a bench and pointed frantically at the ground. "Aaah spider!" he screamed.

Nemesis cooed as he knelt down. "Hello there darling!" He gets up, gently petting a massive spider.

Dad screams in horror once more.

 "Well, that was fun," Patton smiled nervously. Virgil looked up at his paternal colleague with a raised brow. The man's body language didn't exactly radiate "I just had fun" energy.

"Plastic spider got you spooked huh?" He mused as he returned his attention to his phone. Thomas just got done filming their character's collab video. Princey's latest very transparent attempt at helping Virgil get along with the others.

"A little," Patton admitted. "But still. I get why Roman enjoys making videos with you so much!"

Virgil suppressed a scoff. There was no real need to point out that it was just Thomas playing caricature versions of them. If Patton wanted to pat himself on the back for this he wasn't going to burst his bubble. So he just shrugged. "I guess," he muttered not noticing how Patton lit up at this small victory.

“Wonderful work you two!” Roman beamed as he entered the commons. Okay, so apparently there was a point in pointing out the obvious.

“Does everyone just forget that it is Thomas who plays these characters? Most we did was toss in a few suggestions. The vine is all you Roman, jeez!” Virgil complained, though he gave Roman the smallest hint of a smile. He wasn’t sure if Roman had started making an effort to give the others credit since they became friends, or if it was just a part of him Virgil only saw now because he spent some actual time around him without shouting insults at each other. Not to say they hadn’t had fights the past… Six months, man time flies. Anyway, their fights could get just as heated as ever. But now after they stormed off to their rooms to cool down, one or the other would eventually knock on the other’s back door with a movie or a snack and an apology. They’d talk things out and make up. It was much better like this. In the past when Virgil’s anger subsided he’d start panicking about… well, everything. Not talking about it afterwards, or even acknowledging that a fight had taken place… Yeah not great.

Roman just rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say Gloom Day. But what did you guys think?” he asked, smile back in place. Roman was already feeling good about today because Virgil had more or less openly complemented him.

“It was amazing Roman! I’m sure the fanders will love it too!” Patton gushed.

Roman gave a little bow. “Thanks padre. Your enthusiasm is appreciated as always.”

This time Virgil could not contain his snort.

“Something funny? Panic at the everywhere?” Roman asked, hands on his hips and a brow raised in challenge.

“Nice one,” Virgil allowed. “It’s just, why even bother asking him? You know he’s going to sing your praises. You can’t sneeze without getting a medal as far as Patton is concerned,” he pointed out.

“That’s not true,��� Patton protested gently.

“Well, what did you think then? Oh, sinister one?” Roman asked expectantly, not commenting on the medal thing.

Virgil thought about that for a moment. “I guess it was sort of okay. It was rough on Thomas because Dad and Nemesis have very different energy, but he enjoyed it. The fanders probably didn’t expect the nemesis to interact with other characters,” he allowed, trying to sound reluctant. This time he did see that Patton was beaming. He was really getting too soft around the others.

“Evening everyone,” Logan greeted as he entered the commons. Making Patton get up to get dinner ready and Virgil contemplate whether he’d have dinner in his room or if he could handle a little more social interaction.

“Logan! How did you like today’s project? I am two for two and feeling pretty good, so no need to hold back your criticism,” Roman grinned. Logan cast his eyes to Virgil and then to Patton who nodded, clearly excited to confirm this.

“I see. Well while your intentions were rather transparent, it was a rather good experiment.”

Virgil sat up confused. Did… Did Logan figure them out?

“I don’t have any idea what you are talking about,” Roman grinned innocently.

Logan sighed and adjusted his glasses. “Fine. You ran a test to see how the fanders would respond to the characters loosely based on our personalities interacting. Anxiety and Patton are an interesting first choice. My character and Patton’s would have a more natural combined narrative, but it is effective none the less. I assume that if this gets positive reviews, you will propose other collaborations as well?”

Roman shrugged. “Maybe.”

Virgil felt kind of bad. Roman had promised to stop pushing the subject after things got to a blow with Patton after the whole ‘Marcus’ incident. He should have known that he wouldn’t intentionally push them together.

“Oh Roman! That’s a brilliant idea! That’ll definitely help Anxiety feel less nervous about the whole thing. Right Anxiety?” Patton asked kindly.

Virgil shrugged as he got up to set the table. Just to have something to do.

“You guys do whatever. I’m still not on board.” He didn’t expect them to get it. They represented what people liked about Thomas. His intelligence, creativity, humor, kindness, passion…

He was… as far as everyone was concerned, what hurt Thomas. And yes, he overdid it, a lot. He had tried to be better, honestly, but he couldn’t help who he was.

“We’ll see about that Doominator. I’ll win you over, just you wait. But what did you think Logan?” Roman insisted, pulling Virgil out of his thoughts.

“Well, until we have more data it is hard to say…” Logan started, but then he stopped to ponder. Roman was actively asking for feedback. He had even stated that he could handle it if it wasn’t entirely positive. Maybe he should reward that effort with some of his own.

“Though while I usually would stick with facts, if it is my personal opinion you are seeking…”

An eager nod from Roman confirmed this. Well here goes.

“You all know I am not most in tune with emotions and artistic endeavors. That being said, you did well. The classic broken pattern and the recurring theme of closing off a video including Anxiety and any other character with some form of screaming will almost certainly be well received by the fans.”

Roman was beaming. He had more or less expected someone to criticize the skit in some way, but they all really thought it was good. Maybe the Sanders Sides series could actually happen!

“Dinner’s ready! Thanks for helping out Anxiety,” Patton said pleasantly.

Virgil looked down at the table and found he’d finished setting for four. Guess he’ll be staying for dinner.

He sat across from Patton with Roman to his right and Logan to his left. Roman was brainstorming out loud while they ate dinner, occasionally encouraged by Patton or redirected by Logan when he veered of topic. Once or twice Virgil even muttered a teasing remark which had Roman pouting dramatically and the specs trying to hide their amusement.

It was nice, almost, normal.

He should’ve known then that something was heading his way.

“What do you say Florida Ghoul? Underrated Disney movie night?” Roman asked as they put away the dishes.

Virgil was honestly tempted. Almost all his favorites were in that category. Which Roman knew. They’d argued about the best movies often enough.

But if he started he might lose track of time…

“I have made you all suffer through enough of me I think. I’m going to head down, see what the others are up to.” Thomas was more or less dozing off in front of the tv, he should be fine going down. Maybe he could ask J for a movie night of their own.

“Night,” he waved as he made his way to the door to below. Suddenly he felt someone tug at his hoodie? He looked back, expecting Roman, but it was Patton, looking at him with big shocked eyes.

“Y-you’ll be back though right? We really don’t mind you staying. You don’t have to…”

Virgil raised his hands. “Wow, calm down. What made you think I was going to go back? Permanently I mean.”

Patton looked away, let go of his shirt and started fidgeting with his hands.

That told Virgil enough. He looked up to Roman and Logan. “What did Deceit do?”

Roman got ready to speak, but Logan beat him to it.

“About a week ago, after we first discussed Roman’s Sanders Sides idea, he made a brief appearance. He implied that he might take you back in if we didn’t do a better job of ‘handling you’. Roman and I already assured Patton that Janus has no such power without our aid, but he apparently has not been convinced.”

Virgil glanced to Roman who nodded to confirm that this was how things had played out.

He let out a tired sigh. “I can’t belief this guy. I’ll be right back.”

Before anyone could say anything he rushed down the stairs. His thoughts racing. Was this the first time Janus had tried to guilt the others into being his friends? Had Roman… No… No he couldn’t start down that path. Not yet anyway.

“Janus!” he called out as he entered the living room.

“Virgin!” Remus greeted excitedly. Virgil gave the chaotic gremlin he’d grown up with a quick wave.

“Leave us for a sec Remus,” he growled, not looking away from the yellow clad side.

Janus walked up to Remus, looking at Virgil with confusion.

“Why don’t you go hunt something for breakfast Remus,” Janus suggests. Remus didn’t need any more prompting than that. A second later they were alone.

"Virgil, what's the matter?"

Virgil worked a brow. "What do you think? Why could I possibly be mad at you?" He asked, wanting to give Janus a chance to fess up himself.

Janus took in his body language and expression. This was not the fury he'd expect if he'd somehow discovered Janus had been in his room when he wasn't there.

So that left... "Did the lights really tell on me?" He huffed trying to hide how worried that made him. He had no clue about the context. What did Virgil think happened?

"No. I said I was planning on hanging with you guys tonight with plenty of my usual self deprecating humor and Patton was worried I was planning on staying away. I figured you had something to do with that. Logan told me what happened because I asked," Virgil clarified.

"Now I want to hear your side. The truth J. Please." He really hoped the explanation wouldn't be as heartbreaking as the one in his head.

Janus took in a deep breath. "Okay, bit promise we'll stay on topic. No evading, no beating around the bush." Virgil nodded in agreement.

Janus studied his face for a moment until he was satisfied with what he saw. "Okay. Virgil you have been disappearing. I tried to check up on you a few times the past few months and you were just gone. I allowed you to go upstairs because I thought it would be better for you. But if they are erasing you... I needed them to at least try to keep you. I didn't know what else to do..."

Virgil groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm going to skip over the fact that you obviously entered my room while I was our, for now." He took a deep breath. It wasn't a surprise really. Janus and Remus both always just appeared in his room when they wanted to speak with him. So of course Janus had occasionally popped in to find it empty.

"I was probably in the imagination," Virgil confessed.

"The... why? How?!" Janus asked shocked.

"Roman gave me a little meadow to relax. Like 5 months ago I think. Not too long after the prince vs nemesis video's started. I go there when I need a break."

Janus stammered for a few seconds before letting out a utterly perplexed: "Why?"

That hurt a little. Was it that hard to belief?

"He only said he felt like giving me something. Maybe it was because I gave him some constructive criticism earlier and he wanted to try out positive reinforcement. You know he always overdoes everything," Virgil explained. There wasn't a single lie in his statement, so Janus believed him.

"But... he's not supposed to know..." Janus collapsed a hand in front of his mouth, realizing he said that out loud.

"What is Roman not supposed to know?" Virgil growled.

Janus took a small step back. "I... before I sent you upstairs I told Patton and Logan what I was planning and why. I wanted to be sure they'd look after you."

Virgil nodded. That made sense. "Why was Roman not supposed to know that?"

Janus couldn't look at Virgil. "I... told them I was worried what it would do to Thomas if you didn't move to a less stressful environment. I wasn't sure if Roman would be helpful or even more wary of you. So I blocked even the thought of telling Roman about our conversation from their minds."

Virgil was silent for a few moments. Somehow he felt a lot better about everything now. It all made so much more sense.

"Unblock it then," he muttered as he turned around.

"Virgil..."

"Unblock it. I'll see you guys next week or something. Maybe..." J had meant well after all... right?

"Virgil!" Janus called after him, but he was already halfway the upper commons.

When he walked in Roman, Logan and Patton were standing there waiting for him.

"Janus lied. So you don't have to pretend anymore. And you should be able to tell Roman," he said. Hands in his pockets, leaning casually against the doorframe. His old walks back in place. It was better that way.

"Anxiety... kiddo no. You..."

"Just drop it!" Virgil hissed in his tempest tongue, the briefest glimpse of his feral form was enough to make Patton stagger backwards into Logan. Roman was reaching out though. He was still on Virgil's side.

"I was getting sick of all this sappy family stuff anyway," he scoffed before leaving for gos room.

 Roman stormed into the meadow ready to break down Virgil's door if he had to. Virgil hadn't knocked not even once. But he couldn't be left alone with his thoughts now!

He was barely two steps inside when he spotted Virgil sitting there, a crown of purple daisies in his hand.

"You came," the anxious man breathed in relief.

Roman sat down next to him careful to keep enough distance but also be within reach.

"Of course," he said gently. They both knew ge wanted to defend Patton and Logan. To assure Virgil that they never did what they did because they feared he would be pushed to the edge and hurt Thomas in the fallout.

Virgil had explained to him that his discomfort around Patton was due to feeling like the moral side saw him as a ticking timebomb.

The reason for that was painfully obvious now. But how to make Virgik see that Patton was more distant than he wanted to be instead of more welcoming?

"I knew it was all too good to be true. The bubble was bound to burst... I told myself not to get too attached, cause it would end up hurting... I didn't realize... not until earlier. My room is almost back where I started Roman. I litterally pushed them away. And I thought... I thought I'd pushed you away too." Roman could tell Virgil had been crying.

"Preposterous. I'm much too stuborn to get rid if that easily," he assured Virgil. The darker side cracked a smile at that.

"I'm glad I was wrong about that..."

Roman nodded. Virgil had told him how much he hated being right.

"Did I ruin movienight?" Virgil wondered tensely.

"Well I don't know about Logan and Patton. But you and I are going yo watch all those tragically underrated movies."

And with a wave of his hand Roman set out an out doors movie theatre complete with snacks. The sky darkened and Virgil was handed a movie menu.

He smirked as he looked it over. Roman really did have to overdo everything. Including distracting him.

It was appreciated though.

@moonlightshow00 @naturallyunstablegamer @alias290 @meowthefluffy @riverdoesbadart @vpow @apinkline2715 @frida43 @tired-yeetling @firegirl156

Later Virgil would discover that his room was moved just a few feet closer to the upper level again.

Next: adjusting

[felassan]

Dragon Age development insights from David Gaider - PART 4

This information came from DG on a recent SummerfallStudios Twitch stream where he gave developer commentary while Liam Esler continued playing DAO from where they had left off in Part 1, 2 and 3. I transcribed it in case there’s anyone who can’t watch the stream (for example due to connection/tech limitations, data, time constraints, personal accessibility reasons, etc). A lot of it is centered on DAO, but there’s also insights into other parts of the franchise. Some of it is info which is known having been put out there in the past, and some of it is new. There’s a bit of overlap or repetition with topics covered in Parts 1-3. This post leaps from topic to topic as it’s a transcript of a conversational format. It’s under a cut due to length.

The stream can currently be watched back here. Next week LE will be streaming a different DAO playthrough with commentary from another guest. Two weeks from now LE and DG will return to continue this playthrough for another stream session like this one.

(Part 5, Part 6)

[wording and opinions DG’s, occasionally LE’s; paraphrased]

The Loghain sequences, where it jumps out of the HoF’s point of view to let the player see what Loghain is up to, were added quite late on in development. Some of the dream sequences (like the HoF’s dream of the Archdemon) were also probably added quite late. Those sequences were added as they felt that they needed to have more indication of the larger goings-on in terms of what Loghain was up to, since they had cut some stuff that was meant to have shown this. Cutting things can be funny like that as you’re then left trying to explain the holes.

An original Archdemon concept drawing had them as a lot more demonic as opposed to draconic, with blank all-black faces, a giant ornate crown, smoke, tentacles and a Cthulhu-esque feel. Things change a lot during the concept phase however. At the time, DG wasn’t sure if he liked the changing of the ‘demon’ into a ‘dragon’, but over time he digs it - it sorta implies some things about the nature of dragons in the world that they later decided “yes, that is probably the case”. They then worked that more into the lore so that dragons weren’t just there to be huge lizards. Given the difficulty the team had modelling things like tentacles and snakes, the original Archdemon concept would probably have been iterated on and would’ve had to become something else eventually anyway.

Having the party camp was probably always part of James Ohlen’s plan. Originally, there was going to be different camps in specific places around the map. They then made it a sort of ‘pocket area’ that the player always ‘took with them’, but here they had problems figuring out things like what would happen if the player rested while in an interior location as opposed to somewhere out in the wilderness, “like, does that change it?” For a while there was a complicated system where the party members would do things in camp that would give the player items and help out in such ways - like a party member who made potions, ones that could be interacted with and asked to craft, a whole crafting system relating to that, etc (this all got cut). This was supposed to act as a reason for the player to return to camp and have more interactions at camp; they didn’t want the camp just to be ‘the place you go just to talk to followers’. A good portion of the team considered dialogue to be boring and not an activity that was engaged in.

As soon as hair/beard hair came past the ‘clipping plane’ of the neck, they had real trouble getting it to move due to lack of proper cloth physics and the troubles they had with hair. Beards were rectangular strips that dangled from the chin with the beard texture attached to it. Sometimes certain points were connected to the chest which is why there’s the weird stretching if models move in certain ways. This happens with robes as well. The reason they did this is so that there’s no clipping. For some reason the BW animation team was so averse to clipping compared to other games from elsewhere which sometimes have a bit of clipping that they’re actually not fussed about. At one point they had a big fight on the DA team because the art team said “We need to make every entrance and doorway [including tents] about twice the size that it is, about Shale-size specifically, because of Shale” because they were worried that there would be scenes where Shale would clip through the wall, and about how this would look to players. Others responded that it’d be rare where Shale would be seen going through a door and also that nobody really cares (as in it’s not a big deal). DG half-seriously suggested that instead of making every door bigger, have it so that after entering the door’s texture at the sides and above it would look cracked and have an outline of Shale’s arms and head as if she’d just barreled her way through the stonework. In the end Shale’s size was reduced as a solution to this (so Shale was originally intended to be a lot larger). This is an example of a place where different parts of the team had different priorities in development. It was pointed out that in the end having giant doors may not have made much difference, as every interior in DA is massive in terms of floor and ceiling-space, as well as items (huge jugs of ale etc) anyway.

Weapons and staves hover on characters’ backs due to the team’s aforementioned aversion to clipping. Originally there were plans for scabbards and straps, but they didn’t have the resources for these and they were also concerned about staves clipping through straps, especially when being ‘drawn’ for combat, even though that would just be a second or so. So this is why we instead have floating magnetically-attached-looking weapons.

DG wrote Nature of the Beast including all of the Brecilian Forest, it’s possibly his favorite plot/questline out of the ones he wrote for DAO. It’s one of the plots that survived best from first inception to final result. One of the prominent cultural features of Ferelden is the werewolves, and so DG had to make ‘the werewolf plot’. All the initial plots were split up like that (the werewolf plot, the dwarf plot, etc). Originally there was a separate ‘elf plot’ but it got joined together with the werewolf one. DG had an idea for a being that was like male and female, terrible and kind, beautiful and horrible and so forth - both at once, like the way nature is. This was the vague initial idea from which this plot grew. The nature spirit encountered is the flipside of the being. The spirit of the forest is both male and female, or something akin to being bigender (both rather than neither). There’s not much difference between the Lady and Witherfang. DG finds it so weird hearing the DAO Dalish elves’ American accents (since their accents were changed for the next game). The American Dalish elf accents bugged DG enough that when they got to DA2, he said to Caroline Livingstone “can we just retcon this” and she was like “yeah”. “I think we underestimated how weird prevalent American accents in the game alongside the British ones would be”. Zathrian is voiced by Tim Russ (Tuvok from Star Trek).

The Cammen-Gheyna plot is a fairly ‘nothing-y’ sidequest relatively speaking, but is so complex in terms of how many options and paths through it that it has that DG got a big of a finger-wagging for it and some people were not happy. LE commented that this quest is “an extremely Gaider plot”, as the player can ruin everyone’s lives in it. Gheyna’s pronunciation of Andaran atish'an is incorrect. This phrase is one of the ones that got mixed up in the pronunciation guide and one of the ones that when they got to DA2, DG was like “ignore what we did before, here’s the new pronunciation files”. One of the first ‘images’ the team had of the Dalish was that they had reindeer-like creatures that pulled the aravels. In DAO aravels look more like standard wagons than the ones in the ‘images’, and they weren’t shown properly. Aravels are wagons but they’re supposed to have big sails (not naval-style sails on top) all over the place to catch the wind, so that they look like a bunch of ships being drawn across a field. They got closer to how they’re supposed to be in DAI. At one point the artists sat DG down and asked him what should set the Dalish apart visually. “Funny you should ask, I have some very specific ideas about what the Dalish should look like that have just never been done”. [I think here he meant hadn’t yet been implemented in the franchise] “Oh, we just thought they were ‘people with wagons’.” “Nobody reads documentation...”

The lamps in the Brecilian Forest are a bit random. They put light sources everywhere and it seems like the Brecilian lamp thing was art-asset use that boiled down to “guess it’s an elven forest?”. The Deep Roads were supposed to be properly dark. The team had a lot of conversations over how dark they could or should make the Deep Roads. They constantly had beams of light coming from above and it was like “this is supposed to be like a mile underground, why are there sunbeams coming through cracks in the ceiling” - the answer is it looks good and they didn��t want to do proper darkness. By DAI, they got closer to the ‘look’ the Deep Roads are supposed to have. This is a recurring theme in the DA franchise lol. “This was a weakness in our team and processes, that it took two titles before we got on board with each other and with the vision.” But they had plenty of good strengths too! DG wishes they had iterated a bit more on the werewolves’ look.

“Evil options” was always one of the big conversations that they had. DG wasn’t a fan of the evil options because they mostly boiled down to being a big jerk. The reason for this is a lengthy design discussion that relies on interface - proper, smart evil usually implies some kind of deception, and how do you indicate to the player that the option they’re about to take has a more cleverly-sinister aspect to it (as opposed to simple Intimidate options)? They didn’t really enjoy just letting the player run around being an asshole to people, “do we have to service this hyuk-hyuk-hyuk, particular type of enjoyment?” DG wishes they had figured out how to do the evil stuff a little better (feeling that in a game, doing good has less merit unless there’s temptation to do evil, and that evil paths should be more materially rewarding). 

DG wrote The Dawn Will Come with some help from PW and Karin Weekes. It was the first song he wrote. Trevor Morris sent him the tune and he listened to it many times and wrote out the lyrics. PW and KW helped him make it “less awkward and cringey”. “They’re very good at that”. PW is good at poetry, KW is more musical and knows more about music. “If you get something which is as ridiculous as it is memorable, it’s probably Sheryl. If you get something that’s beautiful prose, it’s probably Mary. Something in-between is probably PW.” The DAI bardsongs were written by an external party brought in specially to do so. This required a fair bit of review and revision to make sure they followed DA lore. “It’s a problem we’ve always had trying to work with third parties, they tend to think that anything that falls under the umbrella of ‘medieval fantasy’ would fit in DA”. (Here DG groaned a bit thinking about Orson Scott Card.)

On the Grand Oak and co: “After I finished writing this I totally regretted it. It’s a big dialogue and there’s a lot involved in this quest. Do you know how hard it is to make somebody rhyme in a way that’s not completely cringey for the entire dialogue? I was three quarters into it and I so wanted to stop but I was past the point of no return. But I did it! And it worked out.” The Grand Oak should have been a LotR-style ent-like being in terms of animations and presence. When DG sees the Oak’s stationary pose he’s reminded of Silence of the Lambs. When he finished the Grand Oak and hermit quest he was like “I make way more trouble for myself than I should”. The Hermit cycles through random animations outside of conversation because he’s supposed to be twitchy and weird.

The haunted empty camp side encounter was a pain for the tech designers to make work because there’s no NPC to talk to. It was a pain whenever companions had to offer critical information like in these sorts of parts in fact, as they had to write 9 versions of each ‘line’ (1 for each companion).

There are certain spells/abilities in D&D that can make a GM’s life frustrating, such as teleportation, telling the future, resurrection. The fact that death is not permanent, for instance, should be a huge thing that affects society and how the people in it view death. This is why they were thinking stuff like “If every low-level mage in the setting had a skill like ‘Charm Person’, what would non-mages make of that?” This ties back to discussions in previous part/s where there are lore rules like no teleportation. DA was originally envisioned as a low-magic setting, but this didn’t last long [this subject is also covered in previous part/s]. The rules of magic didn’t really change though, they just weren’t really communicated that well to the other teams in the early days. They slowly realized that it was incumbent on the design team to explain and sell to the other teams the vision, not just expect them to read documentation. They were also constantly fighting against their own presuppositions of “DA is like D&D”.

Desire demons were supposed to be genderless. DG isn’t a fan of how the Fade turned out in DAO. The quests themselves were too long; they couldn’t do all the original plans they had for them so there was a lot of iteration, “then we ended up settling for something not very exciting”. Another big fight the team had was about whether they should have permanent death since DA was a more realistic world? One side’s argument was that ‘if you don’t allow for resurrection then we can’t have death in combat’. DG wondered if there was a different dichotomy they could get to but didn’t want to dictate how combat should work or tell combat designers how to do their job, as he wasn’t the one doing that work.

One of the best moves they made when working on DAI was the concept artist consulting cosplayers. This was good work not only in a fashion sense but also in that it led to making outfits for characters that someone could actually wear (contrast those with Sebastian’s outfit, which DG remembers cosplayers having trouble making functional/wearable and putting together). DG really wasn’t keen at all on Cole’s hat. When designing the clothing-clothing in DAO, the artists were trying to get the most variation for clothing out of assembling pieces. For the sake of variation they allowed pieces to go together that really shouldn’t go together. This allowed for a larger number of clothing options to be made out of a smaller number of clothing models/textures.

In Neverwinter Nights they added a “jiggle mesh” to the engine, it was used in only one place (Aribeth’s cleavage).

Writers are the first ones that jump onto a project, so when last touches and polish is being added to a game they’re often not aware of it. Once the writing is more or less locked down for a game, they start working on the next project. On every project at some point they had to have what they called the “profanity meeting”, where they decide what types of profanity exist in that world, what level of profanity they’re accepting, establishing the standard on this front, etc. This leads to fun meetings where they go through every profanity that they know and try to create new ones. “Maker’s breath!” and “Void take you!” are some of these kinds of things. They needed exclamations akin to “Goddamnit” but which made sense in this fantasy setting (“Goddamnit” implies the context of God, and the concept of damning, for example, so it doesn’t hold up) and weren’t just word substitution like “frack” instead of fuck or something.

The Grey Wardens gained their trademark blue and silver uniformed look for DA2. When the new art director Matt Goldman came on before DA2, he wanted to re-approach a number of things such as the darkspawn (mentioned in previous parts) and the Wardens. He wanted factions like the Wardens to be more uniform and easily identifiable at a distance by silhouettes and colors. He wanted factions to be more visually distinct and to introduce more color in general, as DAO was very brown and muddy. This was something of a standing mission of his when he came onto the project. He disliked the idea that there wasn’t anything unifying or distinct or ‘easily identifiable as a DAO screenshot’ about DAO screenshots, other than that brown muddiness. 

Deciding how to design the Lady of the Forest was a long conversation due to the potential nsfw elements. It was a long haul to get her to look a certain way.

The thing DG found easiest/least painful to write was probably Zevran’s dialogue. He felt less pressure about it and had a bit more fun with it. Zevran has a certain story about trust that DG found pleasurable to build on; Zevran had grown up with a certain expectation of deceit and trauma, and when confronted with earnest feelings, that was the more puzzling part for [Zevran] to process. “When you expect everyone around you to deceive you, you’re kinda like, okay, this is life. But then to figure out, ‘oh, I guess it doesn’t need to be that way’, well how do you even... not?” DG remembers straight male players complaining on the forum after accepting Zevran’s massage tent-invite and not clocking that that was an invite of a certain nature. Overall Zevran was a more relaxed piece of writing for him. Shale came later but writing Shale was also a lot of fun. Like HK-47, “you can string together a few quirks that you find amusing and people will still treat that like a character and love it”.

In DA2 there was an entire subplot centered around the Carta and Varric. It spanned all three Acts. Mary Kirby had written it to completion and it was good. DG had to tell her it was among the cuts they needed to do because it was written a bit later relative to other stuff and because cutting it offered the most return according to the schedule and resources/subsequent downstream work. In cases like these they sometimes take the cut plotbeats and put it in a ‘box’, in the hopes that they may be able to use it for DLC or something later on. In practise this doesn’t happen very often at all. On DAO it did happen once with Shale. Shale was cut from DAO and had to be moved to become Day 1 DLC. Work on Shale therefore took place after most of the game had been finished. If they hadn’t done this, she would have been cut completely. It also sort of happened on DAO with Loghain. It originally had a whole plotline in Denerim involving him which had the player figuring out his background, motivations and interacting more with Anora. All of that got cut (requiring the cutscenes mentioned at the start of this post being added), and this is where the idea came of writing a novel (The Stolen Throne). This occurred in the period when the game had been delayed and DG particularly regretted that particular cut. He thought, “I could take this story that you were going to learn about the history of Loghain and his relationship with Cailan, and rescue it in a way.” [source]

[Part 1]

[Part 2]

[Part 3]

[Part 5]

[Part 6]

[‘Insights into DA dev from the Gamers For Groceries stream’ transcript]

[ambersky0319]

A human AU where the Light sides were all like a found family, until Logan runs away and they are determined to bring him back no matter what, only to find him with Dexter(Deceit) and Remus and looking far happier than with them. But Virgil hates it, pushing the two away from Logan and trying to force him back before screaming "They're fucking monsters, they could never love someone like you!" Which causes Logan to fight against him and leave the lights for good

Hope you’re happy with this! It was super fun to write but also fuck Virgil in this-

Can be seen as either platonic or romantic Intruloceit, your choice really

Warnings : Unsympathetic Virgil, Somewhat Unsympathetic/Highly Implied Unsympathetic Roman, Morally gray Patton, past suicide mention(none of the main characters), mention of a panic attack, lmk if I need to add anything else!

Masterpost 

——————————–

It was just by chance, meeting Dexter and Remus. Though Logan had known about them for a while. They had a small community on YouTube for their random and often insane ideas, usually done in the name of “science”. They did have some more serious videos, though, one that caught Logan’s interest the most being one where they talked about toxic relationships. They had still made some jokes, mostly about their past experiences, but the video was extremely heartfelt and made Logan curious enough to do some research on his own.

What Logan didn’t know, was that Dexter and Remus actually lived in the same city as him.

Logan had left his and his friends’ house after a particularly harsh argument with Roman, and took a bus further into the city to find a place to relax. He remembered a coffee shop from a few weeks ago that Patton had dragged him to. While Patton didn’t really like it as much as he thought he would, Logan really liked it as the people inside always seemed to be full of life and had hearts of gold(seriously, the barista he talked to looked as though she was glowing in the afternoon light).

Stepping inside, there was only one table open which he took quickly, setting his things down before ordering his coffee. The barista, the same as last time he had visited(a shock to Logan in all honesty that she’d keep the job), made his drink quickly and handed it to him with a bright smile, wishing him a good afternoon. Once back at his table, he took out his laptop to work on one of his many projects. He lost himself in one of his favorites, a novel he was writing. Eventually though, he was pulled from his focus.

“Hey um, sir?”

Logan looked up, and he nearly gasped. Nearly. Standing before him was none other than Dexter, looking rather sheepish as he interrupted Logan.

“Sorry to bother you, but all the other tables are full and I was wondering if my friend and I could sit with you for now, at least until one opens up?” Dexter jabbed his thumb over to the counter, where Remus stood chatting with the barista as she made their drinks and another prepared some food for them. Logan almost forgot how to speak, and he cleared his throat.

“Um, yeah, sure. I don’t mind.” Dexter smiled and slid into the seat across from Logan. Remus joined them not long after.

“I’m Dexter, by the way. And this is Remus.” Dexter slung his arm around Remus once Remus settled beside him.

“I kinda knew. I really like your videos, they’re far more informational than I thought they would be.” And then, it was as if Logan just remembered that he didn’t know these two personally, and his cheeks felt a bit warmer all of a sudden. “Oh, and I’m Logan, by the way.”

“Well Logan, it’s always great to meet a fan,” Dexter said, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Yeah! Especially since most people just think we’re two idiots online, huh Dee?” Remus wasn’t really asking him, but he still got an affirmative hum. Remus tilted his head as he studied Logan for a moment. “Hey wait, I’ve seen you before! You’re in that one psych class!”

And that’s how the rest of Logan’s afternoon went. Other tables cleared, but Dexter and Remus didn’t leave Logan’s table as they spoke with him. And Logan’s computer was moved to his bag as he let himself open up to some people other than his main friend group. He wasn’t all too surprised that they had similar interests, and it was fun getting to complain with Remus about the number of projects their teachers gave them.

Over the following months, Logan continued to meet up with them and talk with them late into the night. He learned Dexter wasn’t in college and worked freelance as an artist to pay their house bills so Remus could focus on becoming a psychiatrist(Remus did do art commissions as well to chip in, but Dexter took care of finances the most). Logan also learned that Remus was the younger brother that Roman so often complained about, which initially pissed Logan off. When Remus learned that Logan was living with his brother, and heard of the things Roman had said, just shrugged and told Logan to not tell any of them they hung out. Dexter knew Virgil as well, though he was far less inclined to tell Logan what had happened, and just said they had a major fallout a few years back.

About two years into their friendship, Logan had sent the duo a text during their livestream(Logan had been doing homework and hadn’t noticed the two were busy). It was frantic, and Logan was stuffing essentials into his bag as he waited anxiously for either of them to text back. All Logan’s original text had said was “guys I need OUT”.

Dexter texted him back after ten agonizing minutes, asking what was wrong, and Logan called him, his voice unsteady as he explained the situation. Dexter listened as Remus ended their video so he could hear what was happening too. He and Virgil had gotten into a rather heated argument, and Roman had somehow been dragged into it. Normally Patton was there to calm them all down but he was working at the time, and Logan just couldn’t take any more arguing like this, not when it got so personal and to the point that Logan had been reduced to silence because of a panic attack.

“Do you want me to come pick you up? Lo, where are you?” Remus had snatched Dexter’s phone from his hand.

Logan swallowed thickly, his hand trembling on his own phone as he told them their address. “Virgil and Roman are both home though-”

“Just say you’re going to a last-minute meeting because our teacher is a jackass who does that and the things in your suitcase is this huge project he wanted us to do.” Further away from the phone, Remus called over to Dexter. “Got the keys?” Logan heard Dexter say something along the lines of ‘yes’ and Remus was back on the phone. “Alright, I’ll text you once we’re close by, kay?”

“Mhmm.” Logan took a deep breath, and before Remus could hang up he said, “Thank you, so much.”

He could almost see Remus grinning on the other end. “Don’t worry about it, Logan. See you in a bit.”

Twenty minutes later Logan was in the back of Dexter’s car, having faced no troubles in leaving the house and now on route to Remus and Dexter’s home. The drive was pretty quiet, the silence only filled by the radio playing some random songs softly. 

They showed Logan to his new room, offering to take him out over the weekend to buy some paints if he liked and some other things Logan might want to add to his room. They had just given him their guest room, which was usually for the occasional friend to crash on(they claimed their friend Remy visited the most, but both were sure Remy wouldn’t care if Logan took the spare room). Logan declined their offer for going out shopping, saying that them just letting him stay was good enough.

He was able to move his things in quickly(he really didn’t have much while living with the others anyway), and Logan got to enjoy takeout with his new roommates as they lounged on the couch. Dexter was the first of the two to ask Logan if he wanted to talk about what had happened earlier with Roman and Virgil, to which Logan just shook his head.

“Maybe tomorrow,” Logan said after some thought, and Dexter hummed but didn’t push. He instead returned his attention to the documentary they had picked to watch.

Over the next few days, Logan ignored the explosion of texts he was getting from Roman, Virgil, and Patton, having already told them that he’d moved out about an hour after Logan had initially left. All of them just chose to ignore his message though, it seemed, and Logan actually grew frustrated with how many times the trio was calling him. Eventually, Logan just blocked their numbers and returned his focus to his papers that were due a few days from then.

About two weeks since Logan left the trio, and there’s an unwelcome knock on their door. Remus answers it when he realizes Logan is too caught up on writing and Dexter is busy making dinner, and he stares in shock at who he finds.

Logan looks up when he notices Remus frozen in the doorway to their home. “Rem?” He snaps Remus out of his daze, and Remus glances at him worriedly.

“Uhm.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Remus, just let us see him so we can talk this out!” Logan tenses at the voice, it’s unmistakably Roman’s, but then he just lets his shoulders fall and sighs. Taking this as an 'okay I’ll deal with it’, Remus lets Roman, Virgil, and Patton inside.

Logan closed his laptop, setting it to the side and staring up at the trio, the people he once called family. He still remembered the argument though, the words used which cut through him so badly Logan would have preferred to have been stabbed. “What is it?” He asked, resting his chin on his hand.

“What is it? Logan! You just up and disappeared for two weeks!” Patton exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air. “You can’t just do that and make us worry!”

“Roman and Virgil were truly worried about me?” Logan sounded unimpressed. Patton glanced at his other friends as if daring them to answer otherwise.

“Of course we were worried, Logan, you’re like family-”

“So your ideal family is where you threaten to prohibit my breathing? Or claim that I was so annoying, always ruining everyone’s fun and curiosity with my 'boring facts’ and 'unwanted ramblings’ and 'caution’, and that it would just be better if I could disappear for a few hours? And that was just from our last fight!”

Dexter appeared from the kitchen, leaning against the wall that separated it from the living room.

Virgil bit his lip before letting out a fake nervous laugh. “Lo, you know I was only-”

“Oh Stormcloud, don’t play it off as a joke. You knew damn well how that would affect Logan.” Dexter cut Virgil off.

“Plus so many other things you two said!” Remus sang as he plopped down next to Logan, glaring at his brother momentarily. “Honestly, hearing Logan recount the argument, plus so many others you lot apparently had? It’s like none of you changed since we last talked.” Remus slung his arm around Logan, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “And Roman, reducing someone to a panic attack is low, even for you.”

Roman rolled his eyes, huffed, and blatantly ignored his brother. “Logan, c'mon, you can’t really just stay here.”

Logan glanced at Remus, then at Dexter across the room. He leaned into Remus’s embrace. “Actually, I can.”

Virgil glared, and he honestly hated how Logan didn’t even blink when he yelled. “But they’re fucking monsters! I mean, Dexter drove his mom to suicide and Remus is fucking Remus! What could either of them have that is even close to what you had with us?”

Dexter had wide eyes now, his confidence gone and Logan couldn’t tell if the look on Remus’s face was hurt or anger. Logan just stared at Virgil in shock.

“I mean, really! Neither of them could ever love someone like you, Logan, hardly anyone can put up with you-”

That got Logan to his feet, and as quick as the words had left Virgil’s mouth he was being shoved out the door, followed by Roman and then Patton(who was the only one of the trio to apologize to Dexter and Remus, and whisper his apology to Logan as he passed). Logan glared down at Virgil, and for once Virgil couldn’t come up with anything else to say.

“You know, there might have been the tiniest chance of me coming back. But now? Now I just hope you stay out of my damn life.” And with that, Logan slammed the door. He could hear Virgil and Roman argue with Patton about trying again, but it seemed Patton had convinced them to just leave.

Logan grabbed Dexter from where he was frozen by the kitchen entrance and dragged him over to the couch where Remus still sat. Once they both sat down, Dexter wiping away a few tears that had sprung to his eyes, both Dexter and Remus cuddled up to Logan. Remus laughed. 

“Remind me to never get on your bad side!”

“Hush and enjoy the fact that the assholes are hopefully gone for good,” Logan muttered, and Dexter just hummed in appreciation. Their food was burned as they had all fallen asleep, and they just ordered a pizza and opted to watch some trashy horror film Remus had rented the day prior.

Midway through the movie, when Remus had passed out from sheer boredom, Dexter had looked up at Logan. “Lo?”

Logan looked away from their television just as one of the main characters was slaughtered(Logan couldn’t remember his name, he was destined to be murdered anyway so Logan didn’t bother to try and remember it). He tilted his head as he waited for Dexter to continue.

“You know we do love you, right?” Logan smiled slightly, looking back to the TV and he leaned his head on Dexter’s.

“I do. I love you guys, too.”

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[oveliagirlhaditright]

What are your favorite KH headcanons? Just in general, nothing specific :)

It’s funny... I can think of headcanons when I’m writing or whatever--or just at the spur of the moment--but when asked for them, they all disappear from my mind. Uhh... let’s see what I can come up with.

Because Kairi has had a different hairstyle that every year that we see her, I headcanon that she changes her hair every year.

I also headcanon her birthday is September 17th (the day KH1 was released in the U.S. This is also SoKai Day), since Sora’s birthday is the day of the Japanese release and because it makes Kairi a Virgo. She somewhat reminds me of a Virgo. And apparently an Virgos and Aries (which Sora is) can be good together, so...

I imagine that Riku is rich, just because he has a balcony in the KH manga. So is Kairi, for being the adopted daughter of the mayor in my mind (I get into that just below). Sora, however, is probably middle class. For this reason, hangouts with the three usually happen at Kairi or Riku’s house. But sometimes Sora’s still... And these three totally snuck into each other’s houses after dark--through bedroom windows--all the time, and no one can tell me any differently.

And, like most of the fandom does, I headcanon that Destiny Islands’ mayor is Kairi’s adopted father... even though that’s never exactly said. It’s said that the girl who arrived during the meteor shower was at the mayor’s house, but that could have just been for the time and she eventually got relocated somewhere else. But nah. I also headcanon that the mayor adopted her.

I like my headcanon of Xion liking doilies for some reason.

And my one about Roxas being able to cook, too.

For some reason, I adore the idea that Riku can’t cook to save his life.

I also don’t think that Sora is dumb, and I’ll fight people on this. And at this point, I’m kind of stealing another’s headcanon... but I like the idea that Donald and Goofy teach Sora school things he’s missing on their travels together.

I can also get into the headcanon that Sora’s dad passed when he was young (sadly). Since we hear him mentioned in BbS, but don’t hear him calling Sora to dinner alongside Sora’s mother in KH1 or anything like that. 

I definitely headcanon that there are a few islands on Destiny Islands--since it’s Destiny Islands plural--but that they’re probably small, so that the kids still feel “trapped there”.

I imagine that Sora and Riku’s parents put up some of the Play Island stuff absent in Dark Road.

Until proven otherwise, because of the character files, I’m headcanoning that Roxas, Lea, Xion, Isa, and Naminé are all living together now (with Lea and Isa acting as their parents). Probably in the Old Mansion that they fixed up. But on the flip-side of that, I think that Sora and Kairi’s parents accepted their kids’ Nobodies and Replicas as their own, and they sometimes stay there.

I also want to pretend that Isa made a bigger effort to make things up to Roxas and Xion.

I actually don’t think Naminé would jump on the drawing train as most fans seem to think she would. Rather... since drawing is actually tied to traumatic memories for her, I think she’d want to get as far away from it as she could at first. And it would take her friends showing her that she could make good memories with it too, that would finally make her an artist.

Terra and Aqua came from other worlds than the Land of Departure (and how I wish we’d get information on that!). Right now--even though it’ll never happen in a million years, since this series isn’t even Disney--I’m writing that Aqua is originally from “Antar” from the Roswell series, but that’s more fanfiction territory. More likely than not, I want to believe that Terra and Aqua are from worlds that fit their names.

Strelitzia is bisexual. I don’t care that Player canonically is a guy at this point, thus probably making her het. Shh.

Speaking of bisexuality... I think that Sora is. I could maybe even headcanon Riku as that now.

Naminé would totally wear baby blue, if Nomura ever lets her get another outfit.

Xion probably eventually picks up some artsy thing that she can do too, to better fit in with Kairi, Naminé, and Aqua. In the novels, she wanted to make a lucky charm but didn’t know how to. So I can see it.

I don’t think this is a headcanon, so much as it is canon that we haven’t seen yet (since Nomura has slightly talked about this in interviews, even if he’s never going to do anything with it now). Rinoa exists in the KH universe. And it’s because something happened to her during the fall of Radiant Garden--that Leon really is beating himself up about--that he changed his name. And it’ll only seeing her alive and well again, that will get him to change his name back. And he eventually will (or maybe even has in my headcanon). And, yes: the letter he got in the KHII credits was totally from her, telling him that she was alright. Rinoa is also why he has wings on the back of his jacket.

Yuna, Rikku, and Paine aren’t actually tiny fairies, but Maleficent turned them into that... And this is so I can ship KH Tidus and Yuna, yeah. But I swear if you listen to one of Rikku’s lines, it sounds like she might be implying this.

While I think originally, it was Aerith that Cloud was trying to save in KH1 (...for some reason. Since she’s fine in the KH verse), fans have now convinced me that it was actually Zack, so I hope we eventually get the FFVII characters in KH’s story eventually resolved.

Some people argue that all of Traverse Town with the TWEWY characters was a dream--or maybe it’s that they argue Joshua saving his friends through Sora and Riku’s help was the dream--but in my book, it totally happened.

Naminé is an honorary member of the Destiny Trio and Sea Salt Trio.

Kairi and Naminé see each other as sisters, and Sora, Roxas, and Ventus (and Vanitas, if he ever comes back and is redeemed) see each other as brothers. But Sora and Roxas miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight slightly see themselves as more closely linked brothers, and same thing with Ventus and Vanitas.

I also see Xion as a third sister for Kairi and Naminé. Most of the fandom disagrees with this. And I understand why. Most of the fandom sees her as Sora’s sister (and maybe even then sistered to the other boys. And sometimes I now do this--sort of because of peer pressure--but I’ll also have her be a shared sister between the boys and Kairi and Naminé, even though Sora and Kairi themselves aren’t “related”. But I hate that when I do this, it ruins my RokuShi dreams. So it’s probably part of the reason that I usually don’t). But I still see Xion as closer to Kairi than Sora. I know she was supposed to be a Sora clone (but it didn’t really work and she was a failed clone of him), but she mostly defined by his memories of Kairi. And that’s who she chooses to be and how she sees herself. But people then argue that it’s Sora’s memories of Kairi, though, not Kairi herself. And I get that.... But I still think she’s closer to Kairi. Why? Because Sora was actively trying to make her Kairi. And I’m sure some of himself slipped into there, as parts of a writer--so to speak--shows up in all their work, whether they intended it or not. But for example... let’s say that Sora hates chocolate and Kairi loves it. Since he was trying to make Xion like Kairi, he would therefore have her like chocolate, even though he hated it. So that’s one more point for Xion moreso being like Kairi in my book. I also... when I first played Days, she reminded me a lot of Kairi, partly because of some of her snarky lines. It’s only recently that I’ve looked at Days and seen some Sora in her--and realized that also could have partly come from him--but I still stand by what I said.

And while we’re on the subject... after everyone got their own hearts and bodies at the end of KHIII, I don’t think pairings like RokuShi or RokuNami, or whatever else would be insert of self-cest at all. Really, I don’t ever think it was. Because KH rules state that it’s your heart and how you see yourself that governs everything around you... but especially not after KHIII resolved this. So it kind of ticks me off when people still bring up this argument.

Because this plot hole bothers me... Kairi totally remembered Merlin when she trained with him in KHIII.

Most the rest of these will probably be about Kairi. Since you all know she’s my girl, and I think about her a lot.

I pretend that Kairi did somewhat have an edgy stage, and still somewhat is. Maybe because I somehow combine that with tomboy in my head. IDK. Speaking of--though not that this is really “edgy”--I’ve written that Kairi likes Queen at least twice. Just pretend that Destiny Islands has Queen. Haha.

I also believe that even after Kairi became more girly in KHII, she still has some tomboy to her: like how even though she wears a dress in KHII, she still has sneakers on, and how her school bag isn’t decorated at all when Selphie’s is. She’s also a fighter, of course (not that that necessarily makes a girl a tomboy -looks at Buffy-). I imagine out of the three, Naminé is the girliest, Kairi is a mix of tomboy and girly-girl, and Xion is a tomboy. 

I think Kairi, Naminé, and Xion would all have great relationships with each other. Naminé and Xion, because they both know what it’s like to be “Nobodies” , told they shouldn’t exist, and forgotten (Kairi knows this, too), and have suffered (though Kairi has too, of course). They’re also both slightly shier. Kairi and Xion because they both can be snarky (though Xion not as much), are more outgoing and both fight, and are maybe pretty evenly matched right now (they’d probably spar a lot). And Kairi and Naminé, because they’re like the extroverted and introverted version of each other. And I imagine Kairi could convince Kairi to try things more, while Naminé would get her to chill the F out about things.

Kairi and Xion are probably both protective of Naminé, since she’s been so abused and they can fight and she can’t.

Sora, Roxas, and Ventus might be protective of Xion. But for me, Roxas is because of shipping reasons.

Back to the girly-girl Kairi thing... While pink probably is for sure her favorite color now, she still likes purple and other colors. And will use them.

I also just... don’t see her wearing makeup. I know other fans do, and that’s fine. But I don’t. Mainly because it doesn't look like she ever is in the game. I think that’s part of her tomboy coming through still. She cares about her hair, her clothes, perfume and whatever else, but she doesn’t care about makeup.

I used to headcanon that Aqua and Xion would become best friends--and they still could--but Melody of Memory maybe hinted at something else.

...I think this is everything right now.

Edit: And pretty much every headcanon that bluerosesburnblue comes up with for the KHUX world is right up my alley.

Edit 2: Destiny Islands maybe isn’t as technologically un-advanced as I and some had originally thought, but it’s still not modern day Shibuya or anything like that.

Edit 3: A lot of Destiny Islands’ culture is based on Japan.

Edit 4: This isn’t a “headcanon” at all. But I love to joke with the fandom, that Naminé and Xion might as well be Sora and Kairi’s daughters. LOL

Edit 5: And because of that one scene in KHII, where Kairi, arguably, hits Riku in the arm, if you look close enough--and that one translation of the KHII manga, where Kairi tells Riku not to be such sourpuss--I headcanon that these two somewhat play off just how much they mean to each other. But really, they love each other of course. I mean that platonically.

Edit 6: And I want to believe Minnie and Daisy could eventually go on an adventure with Kairi or something. I like the headcanon that Daisy’s a magician, too--since Minnie is strong with light magic--even though it’s not true. Haha.

Edit 7: Sora says Kairi’s name over and over again at the end of KHI and tells her “I love you” at the end of KHIII.

Edit 8: Riku is Sora’s best man at Sora and Kairi’s wedding. He’s also the “uncle” and godfather of their kids. 

Edit 9: Speaking of, Sora and Kairi have a daughter named “Sakura”. But it’s pronounced like how you would say “Sum” (but drop the “M”, of course) and then “Cora”. “Sumcora” (but without the “M”).

Edit 10: Kairi’s a Disney princess.

Edit 11: Max Goof exists in the KH universe, as do the Three Caballeros, who Donald is friends with.

Edit 12: Terra and Naminé are friends.

Edit 13: This is completely unoriginal--and just “Riku” backwards--but in fics, I often call Riku Replica “Ukir” (I pronounce it “You-Kai-Err”, because I’m too lazy to come up with anything else and don’t want to steal other people’s ideas. And Repliku probably did want to be the opposite of Riku, so... -shrugs-

[nbapprentice]

You said a while back that while Supergiant games (Bastion, Transistor, Hades) was mostly okay, you had some words about them. I was curious as to what those words were, since Hades' full release is soon.

okay. alright. ive been playing hades lately so i definitely want to give my two cents (or dollars by the size this is gonna get). but let’s go Step by Step

the good: i want to throw a whole Endorsement over supergiant games with the art direction and its characters, which is what keeps me coming back again and again, and what i can assume is that most people are attracted to. 

gameplaywise, they have a Format they stick to which has become their staple, not to their detriment but to their advantage, like... gameplay tropes, so to speak, that they stick to (such as the addition of special conditions that give a disadvantage in exchange for more long-term rewards)

i fucking adore that they take one concept per game, go for it, and when they’re done they are Done; they don’t bother with sequels, they don’t want to run things to the ground and i fucking respect that. They have their themes, and they stick to them (to various degrees of success).

that said, like every piece of media, they are not perfect and this has to be analysed and spoken about

CONTENT WARNINGS: genocide and ethnic cleansing, antisemitism, misogyny, homophobia, suicide, and mentions of incest, and a general Spoilers warning

bastion: touches on ethnic cleansing, and not in a way i’d say is satisfactory. our narrator and one of our Sympathetic characters is one of the men who worked on a world-ending weapon meant to use against the Ura (a group of people coded as East Asian) which after a bit of googling is literally called “the final solution” if there was ever a war between the Ura and the Cael (who feel like rly tan white people to me). jesus fucking CHRIST.

we also meet more Ura other than our two named characters and we have to kill most of them. so that fucking blows.

the game tries for “being a genocidal monster will get you fucked up and blown up” which duh, but i feel we shouldn’t have had a person responsible for war crimes be one of our friends no matter how bad he feels about the whole thing, or the people victim of war crimes become villains in the latter half of the game. zia’s father could’ve taken ruck’s role ez pz.

transistor: the weakest of their games, imo; the lore and writing are fairly flimsy and i did not come out feeling Satisfied, especially because it had this rly good build-up that did not pay off. not to mention... their villains? 3/4 were gay people. lol. two married guys (not even explicit, you only realize by their shared last names) and the ps*cho lesbian trope (iirc she wanted to kill the protagonist’s lover or something). the female protagonist also ends up killing herself to live forever in a digital paradise with her dead lover. it’s. god. 

very Aesthetic, GORGEOUS music, interesting gameplay; had potential, i do not feel like it lived up to it at least as far as the story goes.

pyre: now this one. this one’s BEEFY. where transistor felt flimsy, pyre is rich; lots to sink your teeth into, rich in lore and loveable characters, again w the beautiful music, themes of cooperation and togetherness. my favorite of the cast is volfred sandalwood, the only Black (or, well, Black-coded) revolutionary i’ve ever seen portrayed with this amount of sympathy.

onto the bad: they literally have a Class of character named “Savage”; there’s the “mystical mentally ill person” trope; there is an overwhelming amount of explicit m/f pairs (one of them being. a romance that formed in a single day and then both of the characters were somehow willing to risk it all for each other? PLEASE) while the only hints of gayness are... hints. especially when Jodariel (another of my favs) is teased to have feelings for the player regardless of gender then only gets an ending with a male character with whom she has nothing in common 🙃

hades: and now. this one. music: gorgeous. character designs: spectacular (aphrodite is straight up naked but it’s so... natural and casual, it doesn’t feel sexualized at all). voice acting amazing. character interactions charming and endearing. as a greek mythology nerd, it was nice to see them go for the obscure shit like Zagreus at all, NOT portray Persephone and Hades as a loving couple, AND portrayed the gods as the bunch of petty assholes (some more benevolent than others) that they are. imo they’re too generous with their portrayal of achilles but i’ll allow it.

and finally... it seems all those criticisms about having all the gay characters hidden in the shadows paid off, cuz we got (aside of patroclus and achilles) a bisexual polyamorous protag. Holy Shit! and it’s not even playersexual, romance whomever you want shit without the routes recognizing each other: he explicitly talks about how he’s thinking abt them both (though it’s like “yeah usually mortals take one lover but gods love many huh” polyamory is a human thing too bro!!!!!)

and this is where it all goes, well, at least vaguely downhill lol. ok so the incest warning i gave up there? well. it’s not... outright incestuous. but it has some ugly implications. i want to emphasize: the characters never refer to each other as siblings, nor do they treat each other as such (thanatos, in fact, only recognizes hypnos as his brother, and megaera only sees the other furies as her sisters), but they were all raised by the same woman, Nyx... zagreus and thanatos even grew up together (im assuming megaera didnt meet zagreus until he was fully grown).

this is complicated even worse by the fact that they tried to trick zagreus into believing Nyx was his mother. he realized pretty early on this was not true but like... adoptive mothers, anyone? granted i can believe that bc of the attempt at deception that probably ruptured any attempt at actual familial closeness, and it’s not like hypnos and thanatos saw zagreus as their brother at any point, so they were p much aware of the truth too. with the fact that thanatos even looks like goth miles edgeworth (im not kidding you can google him up right now its literally edgeworth in a cowl) i rly feel they were aiming for Childhood Friend Anime Rival Man than the “surprise kiss bc ur not actually related <3″ shit. zagreus never once refers to nyx as his mother in-game, and also refers to thanatos and hypnos as her sons, never his brothers.

so yeah, like. if one’s feeling generous, zagreus and thanatos are more of a “my father is emotionally closed off and neglects me so my best friend’s mother basically raised me” kind of situation... just pulled off in, perhaps, the worst way possible (why didnt they just say Zagreus was told Hekate was his mom, that’s such an easy fix? or that he was born of nobody other than Hades??? [gestures at athena])

but then, the gods. aaaaaaaahhhhahahahh the gods. demeter shows up! and she calls zeus, hades and poseidon... her foster-brothers. which somehow would make the persephone thing less fucking awful, apparently. they really. really really did not need to do that. she could’ve just said “my fellow gods” or whatever. or my “god-brothers” or something, to pretend it was just a weird god alliance thing??? i dont know but implying that foster family isn’t family is just... bro, the dynamics still exist.

Don’t Like That.

i even contacted supergiant games over this. they reassured me they were even trying to avoid the incest of the original myths bc they didn’t want to mess with such a heavy theme. i believe them... but i really think they didn’t think this through. compared to something like fire emblem fates this is nearly benign, but the implications don’t look good :/

tl;dr of the tl;drs: i admire their artistic philosophy and the heavy emphasis on fresh gameplay, characters and their relationships; i appreciate that it seems that they listen to criticism?; i don’t appreciate that they didn’t think to at LEAST talk to adoptees when making a game about family.

[mimiscappinisideblog]

I've got this idea for sometime now and I know I'll never gonna do anything with this so I'll share it with you all.

If any of you wants to do something with this shit be my guest. Btw this is some selfindulgent shit.

This has been in my drafts for months.

_________________

A friday night out with your friends. Just your average group of people in a bar drinking and enjoying eachothers company.

This bar was one of your favorites because of the ambient, not too classy and just enough of that calmly home feeling to make you feel warm and welcome.

Not to mention the live music playing every night. Each artist bringing a little of their soul to play off on that stage where all the patrons were able to see and listen.

You suggested this specific bar to your friends because of one thing, the drinks were really good and not too expensive, and maybe also because friday nights a certain musician came in to play it's a posibility. Okay, it was only for him who are you kidding.

You frequented that bar enough times to know that he came every friday to sing a couple of songs then he'd have one or two beers before leaving.

By this time you already knew who he was, the barman told you he teaches music in an after school program that originated from Horace Green. The barman already knew of your little crush on him and was trying to get you to try and talk to him but you were too shy of a loser to actually go and say hi to him.

One of your friends shooked you out of your thoughts and handed you your drink, she saw your distant stare.

"You alright there dub? You seem distracted." she asked with concern in ver voice.

"Which is funny considering you were the one that bring us here. You wanna leave already or something?" another one chimes in.

"No, no. I'm fine." you said trying to compose yourself for them "I was just thinking, nothing to worry about." you hope they buy it and not press more on the matter that you were expecting someone intenly watching the front doors. "what were you guys talking about?"

You try to jump in the conversation but out of the corner of your eye you see the doors open.

And then you see him.

Dewey Finn, the man who's been running on your mind the whole day in anticipation for this moment. The man who sends you a thousand buttlerflies everytime you hear his melodic voice singing. He's fanally here.

He goes to do a little chat with the barman. Your eyes focus on him for a little too long. Long enough for you not to notice that your friends were also looking at you and thanks to your staring they noticed Dewey as well.

They all excange knowing looks that were only confirm by every second that passed and you were still staring at the poor unsuspecting guy.

A witress blocks your view of the musician bringing your table some food.

"So..." your friend adressed you after the waitress was gone and you started to dig in "Were you going to go talk to him or just stare at his back whole night?"

Taking in the question you suddently notice you're the center of attention, all eyes were on you "What are you talking about?" you said trying to play dumb.

"Come on, everybody saw the way you were undressing the guy at the front bar. A little bit more staring and you'd drill holes on the back of his neck"

"Please. She was totally looking at his butt. No way the holes were going to end up in his head" your face was aflame, pretty sure they all could see your red blush even with the caramel lights of the place.

"No I wasn't" you insist "I was just looking at the different drinks they have on the menu posted on tbe wall. Might wanna try something new"

"Something new... Like the guy with the guitar at the front bar?" They kept at it.

There was no escape, they won't let you go out of this. You know very well they'll keep it up until you confessed to them, which you were known to avoid at all costs.

With a deep breath you finish the glass you were still holding onto and stood up "I wasn't staeing at him, if you don't believe me I don't care. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to the bathroom" you really needed some cold water on your hot-red face.

Meanwhile Dewey went on stage to get his things ready, so when the barman was free he took a stroll to the table you and your friends were at.

He told your friends all they needed to know about your little 'dilema' with Dewey and that he tried effortlessly to get you two together.

He left your table after that and went back to work. Your friends were estatic, comming up with ideas of what to do with you.

And they got one, you were fucked... Well they hope you get fucked at least.

Just as you came back from the bathroom the sound of guitar strings being played sorrounded you. Sweet honey filled your ears and your heart fluttered when Dewey started to sing.

You were so dumb stroked you didn't even notice your friend on your right gave you a full glass of beer.

So entranced with the music and musician you downed the whole thing before the song was over.

Dewey usually sang three songs each night.

By the time he finished you were three full glasses down.

You were, by no means, drunk you had enough acohol in your sistem just to be in a "overconfident" mode.

So overconfident that you let out a "That guy is so fucking cute" loud enough for your friends to hear.

They all wore matching grins.

The plan comming into play.

"You know, you should go an tell him" one friend on your right tells you.

"Haha I can't do that" you said laughing at the idea of just going and talk to him.

"What's the matter? Are you scared?" everybody howls at that.

Oh they did not just implied that you are scared of something like that. Overconfident you was scare of nothing!

"I am not scared!" you kind of shout.

"Oh yeah? Go and tell him you think he's cute then!"

"Fine I will!" and you march for were Dewey was.

He was sitting on a bar stool looking at his phone while drinking.

At the middle of the way your shy self rised up over your overconfident one and scramed at you. What were you doing?! How do you talk to him? How in the world are you going to tell him he's cute?? This was a bad idea.

While your mind was debating your feet didn't seem to care and continued on their way.

By the time you finally decided you were going to turn around and go back to your table a voice surprised you.

"Hi. Can I help you with anything?" you look up and see. See him.

You never got this close to him before, barely two feet away. He had beautiful brown eyes. Eyes that were looking right at you waiting for an answer. Oh shit you had to answer! Your brain scattered and was looking for what to say. Think of something!

You felt eyes on your back too. Then you remembered your friends. Your friends. They fucking knew! Oh, shit they knew. How?

Making up a lie you answer Dewey "Oh, hi! Yeah, I- I'm just here because my friends kinda made me? Would you fake talking to me for a while until they calm out?" you shoot him a smile you hope seals the deal and he believes you.

"Of course. I mean, I wouldn't have to "fake it" if we just small talk, right?" oh my god his smile was brigth enough to lift your worries and made you forget everything around you.

You just smile like a dork at him, standing in front of him not sure what to do with your hands.

Everything was going okay, mindless banter of the wheater, music. It was perfect!

But your friends weren't buying it, they knew you were staling. So one of them shouts at Dewey "SHE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE!"

You freeze. Well this is it. I'm going to die after I kill my friends.

You were going to make a run for it when you hear "Is that true?"

Looking at Dewey you felt silent for a minute.

"Do you really think I'm cute?" that genuine smile catched you off guard.

Enough to make you speak without thinking "Of course I do! You're hella cute" Were did that come from?

He just giggles at that. Is he... Is he dashful? This man is going to be the death of you!

"Why, thank you!" he takes a good look at you "You're pretty cute too" and he sends you a wink.

Now you think he's gonna be the death of you.

How fucking dare he make your heart stop for a second. And that wink made your legs tremble. You were so fucked.

"Wow, um. Thanks a lot! I'm gonna go now. My friends are waiting-" right when your body started to move he speaks.

"Wait! Won't you like to sit with me for a bit? I mean if it's no trouble. I understand if you don't, it's okay" just when you thought he couldn't get any cuter here he is, trying to make you stay. You were going to die.

"You're so kind but my friends-" you can't finish because of a voice shouting over you again.

"GO SIT WITH HIM! YOU WILL BE FINE!"

Dewey laughs at that and your reaction.

Whe you get your hands on your friends they'll!!-

"I guess you'll be staying with me for a while" Dewey says with a smile, beckoning you to sit next to him. And you do.

_____________

That's all I got. I don't know how to continue.

The plot was that he also noticed you when he performed at the bar. Then the sexy times happens.

But I can't write so all I have is this

Okay, bye.

[silenthillmutual]

2020 Creator Wrap

I was tagged by @stvlti to do the 2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works tag! Thank you, sm!! c:

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Tagging: @lawliyeeeet​ @soupcans @kunoiichi @milk-teeths @darkpaladin and anyone else who wants to!! Though there’s no pressure to do this if you don’t want<3

So... according to my AO3, I seem to have published or updated 63 works in 2020, which is just a whole hell of a lot more than I usually do! So I’ll pick the going from oldest to newest that I’m most happy with :)

CONTENT WARNING though, under 18 please do not read below the cut as two of the fics are M and one is E. Additional content warning: two deal with self harm and one with intrusive thoughts, and one with pregnancy.

01 || Communication (T)

I think this was when I really hit my stride with understanding how I wanted to characterize Daniil, specifically, and more generally when I worked out how I wanted to write his relationship with Artemy. I tend to focus on the ways in which they communicate differently, and I think I pulled off their voices relatively well.

Favorite moment, when I managed to slip some autism into my characterization:

This is a flaw of his - a messy, embarrassing secret, this inability to distinguish jokes and sarcasm from serious discussion. He masks his insufficiency with a flat-toned seriousness. People find it harder to separate the sarcasm and the jokes from his regular speech when he makes no vocal distinction, and he enjoys the discomfort it brings in others. He considers it, to a degree, payback. A taste of their own medicine. And when he wants to make it clear where his feelings lie, he’ll be picky with the words themselves. He is, if absolutely nothing else, exceptional in the area of verbal self-expression. 

02 || sine sole sileo (M)

This is one of my older works and it is far from being my best, it’s terribly out of character and woobifying, but I’m fond of it as my first really long and more emotional work for the fandom. I had fun writing the first chapter out as a Twitter thread, and then expanding on it. It’s multi-chaptered and actually finished, which is something I have a hard time with!

Favorite moment, which I still actually kind of like, despite everything:

He knows the silence behind the doors, too. It’s a stillness that makes the tips of his fingers buzz. How many days has it been now? Three, four? Artemy though he’d changed the sheets, added new notations. Welcomed in the vocals, the strings, the what-ever-else accompanied performances like this in the Capital. His verses hadn’t been well-sung, but the band had started to play with him. He’d come to anticipate the thrumming percussion. A heart with its own rhythm. Footsteps that rose and fell. Words that lilted, that lead, that brought the symphony to a heightened frenzy.

But silence is a kind of noise too. Where the heart doesn’t beat. Where the voices don’t speak. Even when there is nothing, there is noise.

Artemy has to take a breath before he opens the door. He knows he won’t like what he sees, but he’s seeing so much more in his mind than will be there to greet him. His eyes shake and jostle him to great many things: a gun, a hook, a rope, stained bedsheets and curtains ripped from windows. He sees death even before his eyes adjust because he can smell it, and because he can hear it.

Twelve, he thinks.

03 || o tempora, o mores (M)

This fic was my baby! I wanted so badly to write a character struggling with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder the way I do, and while it’s not my best-performing fic for the fandom (I haven’t kept track of which one is, actually) it’s probably my favorite. I worked so hard on this one, trying to replicate what it’s like to struggle with OCD, and it felt so gratifying to do. I’m currently working on a follow-up to this one, and I’m very excited for it as well!

Favorite moment is really the whole thing, but I do like this in particular, because I feel it really resonated with how intrusive thoughts and compulsions work for me:

The self-talk gives him enough of a boost to get him through the doors of the hospital. It feels safer here, where there’s only the ill and the dead instead of the thousand living eyes trying to touch him. No one comes to bother him here, just him and Artemy and sometimes Clara and Rubin until a few days ago –

YOUR FAULT. HE IS SICK BECAUSE OF YOU. HE IS IN TROUBLE BECAUSE OF YOU. IF RUBIN DIES, IT IS BECAUSE OF YOU. “Stop it, stop it, stop it,” Daniil mutters. THE EYES KNOW THE VACCINE DIDN’T WORK. THEY ARE WAITING FOR YOU TO ADMIT IT, ADMIT THAT THERE IS NOT ENOUGH TO PROTECT THEM SO THEY CAN HAND YOU TO THE DOGS. THEY WANT TO RIP YOUR BODY OPEN AND DEVOUR YOU. CANNIBALS, ALL OF THEM. AND YOU CAN’T RUN FOREVER. “Stop it,” he repeats, and tries to dig a jagged nail into his wrist.

It won’t go. Too slippery from the ointment Victor applied. He has something in his bag to help, another jagged edge, a rusted pair of scissors lost to their original purpose. The Morae were busy here, he’d thought the first time he saw them, and had laughed at his own clever joke. But now he feels the red string is his skin.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven.                                  (it is starting to hurt these could be infected they are dirty they are rusted,) Eight.                                     (but it has to be ten he has to get to ten it has to be even) Nine.                                     (has to be a multiple of five but even always even, no odd numbers in sight)

04 || vita in motu (E)

Heheh I’m in danger (chuckles).

I’ve only managed to get one piece of hate for this fic which I figured would draw way more ire and make me orphan it, and I’m glad I haven’t had to because I’m stupidly attached to the concept. I was trying not to go for E rated fics for this, but this fic meant so much to me to write and for something marked explicit I put a lot of thought into how I wanted to characterize Daniil for it.

So. Yeah. Publishing it was scary as hell but I’m glad I did. I also got some really nice feedback on it, and more than I expected to. I’m very happy with how it turned out.

Favorite moment was actually much longer at the start of it, though kind of like with o tempora, o mores I actually really like how the whole fic turned out. But I really liked this part because I view Artemy as someone who would be very grounding for Daniil to be with:

“Stay in the moment,” Artemy tells him, and kisses him again, kisses him slowly. “Stay here with me. I love you.”  

 It should be utter nonsense, to give in so quickly to this, but Artemy makes it easy. Daniil would never have seen this in his future, would not have even made this as a joke. Something had to beat down his resistance to the emotional, a pro to outweigh the cons he associated with vulnerability. Keeping tightly bound was the safest bet, the easy one. He could say he lacked emotion, and anyone would buy it. Nothing short of a miracle could drag him back to the land of the living – but then again, nothing short of a miracle could have saved this town. Artemy Burakh is a man who manufactures miracles.  

05 || it’s sacrilege, you say (T)

This is the last fic that I wrote out that I took a lot of time planning instead of going “hey, I think this idea would be neat” and slapping it onto paper. And I think it turned out really well!! I almost wanted to do something darker with it, more akin to Silent Hill, but I have other ideas in mind for that kind of AU that I’ll play with later, one of which will be a sort of crossover with TMA.

Favorite moment is when I actually implied the twist, though I’m not sure you can call it a twist at all when I used proper tags:

Her eyes drift from Daniil to the wall, pivoting to look through the window. “No,” she says. “I don’t know why he made you.”

 The center of Daniil’s chest feels like a flower, budded but unopened. Smooth, perhaps, but heavy to move, and his petals are made of something sharp. Crystal, maybe. And he can feel the petals start to part with her words, though they make so little sense to him. He steps forward, closer, half expecting Aspity to recoil from him, but she stays unnaturally still as he approaches. He reaches out to wet his lips, dry as sand, before he speaks. “Made me?” There’s no tone in his voice. “What do you mean, made me? And who are you talking about?”

 She doesn’t turn to face him. She blinks, and lashes fall on sunken cheeks. “Do you remember how you got here, doctor?” He opens his mouth, but she’s faster. “Not to my home. To Town. Think: Can you remember how it is you came to be here?” Daniil grinds his teeth on the side of his tongue, sharp edges digging into the flesh. The flesh.      The flesh    . “Take your time,” she says, but it sounds like a joke. “The last train that arrived brought the menkhu, and no one else aboard it. There are no other ways into our Town.”

[whitleyschn33]

RWBY7 Soundtrack

Should I be reviewing/giving my thoughts on the OST when I have plenty of asks in my inbox to answer and have no musical authority at all? No, probably not. Am I doing it anyway? Yes.

This is just going to be in what (I assume) is the track order. Let me know if I miss any; I’m going off a YouTube playlist.

1. Trust Love

Initial thoughts: Eh.

It’s okay. It’s not my favorite opening, that honor goes to When It Falls, but it’s competent. Very optimistic, which is a trend for this volume’s soundtrack despite how dire the tone of the latter half is, so I don’t think it fully fits the volume it opens for, but it’s by no means a bad song. It’s easy to sing along and bop to, just doesn’t seem as impressive as the other opening songs. It feels like a different sort of sound than what RWBY songs have been in the past, which is also a running theme for the OST this volume - new artists singing, a lot of experimentation in the style. That’s not a bad thing; the tracks I like the most on this album are the different sounding ones, but it’s very.... noticeable, and didn’t go in the direction you would think for Atlas. 

2. Touch the Sky

Initial Thoughts: Why is the best part of this song the ending?

No, but seriously, that outro is a very different sound to the proceeding song and it’s so good. Other than that, I’ve got questions. Like, whose song is this? I’m leaning towards Team RWBY as a whole, but I’ve seen people suggest it’s Weiss’s, it’s Blake’s, I could see an argument for Yang - it’s very unclear. Also, why is the POV character(s) so happy? Their situation isn’t all that much better in terms of Salem and the Relic and all that; they should still be weighed down with that knowledge, shouldn’t they? They don’t trust Ironwood to help make things all better, they still have to carry the Relic (for plot reasons), the only thing that’s changed is that they’re going out on missions. Well, fresh clothes and a distraction are always nice, and it is a chance to put all that stuff on the back burner. I’ll give them that, then.

3. Brand New Day

Initial Thoughts: From the writers that make every Blake song a duet, here’s her volume 7 song; a duet with.... Qrow?

Have Blake and Qrow ever even spoken to each other? And, is there actually no solo Blake song, or am I beating on a dead meme? Actually, to be completely serious, these two actually work well in a song together. Their character directions compliment each other in this volume - both trying to reinvent themselves some and become better (Blake with her new hair and outfits, Qrow with a new outfit and a resolve to recover from alcoholism), it’s just a shame that, you know, this kind of talk or relationship never happens in the show. At all.

Someone in the YouTube comment section said this song sounds like a 90′s sitcom opening, and I have to agree. It really does, mixed with a bit of 50′s doo-wap. It’s not bad, I actually like the doo-wap, but it also has bits of the usual RWBY style rock, and they don’t mix as coherently as I would like in some places. The guitar bridge after Qrow’s verse is pretty nice, though.

Overall, it’s another good song to bop along to, but like the songs before it, I’m not sure it’s one I’ll be listening to over and over.

4. Let’s Get Real

Initial Thoughts: So, even the song thinks they should talk - why didn’t they?

Here’s something you may not know about me. I don’t romantically ship Renora. I’ve always preferred them as a brother/sister pair - probably in part because I’m a sucker for found family. I’ve never really had anything against romantic Renora, though... but this volume definitely made me go from neutral to dislike. Ren’s confused, he’s worried, he’s having doubts about their relationship that he’s not sure how to vocalize. He admits as much. And instead of, I don’t know, respecting that and letting it be for the moment, or pulling him aside to try and help him talk it through, she... kisses him. Instead of stopping to let them work through where their relationship is at the present (which would be nice, to clue the audience in on what exactly their status is), she pushes their relationship to the next level, presumably. It leaves a very bad taste in my mouth, that Ren’s emotions about his relationship with Nora are just shoved aside and aren’t brought up again. Hopefully it does in the next volume (Nora and Ren are notably split for, like, the first time ever in the Volume 8 preview), but still - I thought Tumblr had decided that “guy shuts a girl up by kissing her” trope was sexist or something - shouldn’t this be similarly scrutinized?

Putting that aside, I actually really really like this. It’s very reminiscent of Shine, but a Renora version; it’s got a great beat, the lyrics do a great job in character insight (something I love from RWBY songs, which are probably why Touch the Sky doesn’t do a lot for me), and it’s just a very fun, peppy song. It also feels very at home in Atlas with it’s more techno-leanings. The ending chorus chant of “Is it love?” is also a nice touch.

5. Celebrate

Initial Thoughts: The better Brand New Day (musically speaking).

And by that I mean, it leans all the way into this different style than the half/half approach Brand New Day did, and it’s all the better for it. Once again, another good dancing song, easy to listen and bop to, but it feels... oddly generic. For one thing, there’s no character tied to it, no character insight - I guess you could make an argument for Robin or the Happy Huntresses, but... not really? For another, while as a song I really enjoy the genre of music, it also makes it feel very much not like a RWBY song (something not helped by name-dropping Vegas). It’s fun, but it doesn’t feel like it adds much to the show.

6. War

Initial Thoughts: Wow, I didn’t think you could make me hate the AceOps fight more, but look at that.

Probably the first RWBY song I just flat out hate, and that’s a crying shame considering the excellent music and vocal performances. Those lyrics, though.  Just - I hate them. I hate them so damn much. I refuse to give this song more than that.

7. Hero

Initial thoughts: Hell yeah hell yeah hell yeah HELL YEAH - 

Best song on the album probably. It has all the usual RWBY flare, gives us a great insight into Ironwood’s thoughts and motivations, and is a fantastic performance by Caleb Hyles. The operatic section at the beginning is wonderfully chilling, and the rock section is very epic. 10/10 song even though I’m not rating these.

8. Until the End

Initial thoughts: Time to play “Who does this gorgeous song belong to?”

Actually, I really, really enjoy this song. It’s creepy in its melancholy, but I love it for that. The piano and subtle strings are beautiful, and the way Casey’s voice echoes gives the illusion of solitude in an empty place, perfect for the tone this song conveys.

Now, the matter of whose song it is. The consensus seems to be Ruby and/or Summer, and that’s pretty likely (and letting Ruby actually have a song would be nice). However, I heard a rumor before the album dropped that this was an Ozpin song, and going through it with that lens makes a whole lot of sense - the repeated “I’ll be here until the end”, the constant use of “we”, “our” and other plurals, the lines “ In waves of shame, we’re desperate to make amends / But through a simple soul, we lie complacent” could refer to him lying dormant in Oscar or other souls in the past instead of actively working to defeat Salem, and in the lines “ As light fills my eyes / I’ll picture me beside her / And pray that I’ll inspire”, it could be him thinking of Salem when he dies, and then praying that he’ll be able to inspire others to fight for humanity, for the light. 

I could see it either way, honestly, but no matter which it is, I love this song.

9. Fear

Initial thoughts: Fire whoever was in charge of sound mixing, otherwise, not as preachy as I was fearing.

This is actually the first time I’ve listened to this. I was pretty pissed at the ending of the finale so I didn’t stick around for the credits, and hearing that it was called “Fear”, I was not in the mood for more Ironwood bashing or “You’re just as bad as she is if you act in fear” or whatever BS Oscar said. So, yeah, wasn’t looking forward to this track.

Thankfully, though, it was not another War. I actually enjoyed the lyrics, and the music was top-notch. Don’t really have much more to say about it other than it was difficult to hear the lyrics over the music in some places, but that could be a factor of the video I was listening to. All in all, pleasantly surprised.

10. I May Fall (Acoustic)

Initial Thoughts: Can someone tell the Williams that “acoustic” doesn’t always mean “depressing?”

Like, acoustic doesn’t have to be a super slow, piano/strings, somber rendition, right? It’s just the instruments and the singer without any added computer editing/layering/whatever, if I’m not mistaken. That style of acoustic works alright with songs like Time to Say Goodbye, but not so well with more upbeat songs. This version isn’t bad, per se, but I’d like to see an acoustic version more in line with the original. 

That aside - the original I May Fall is my favorite RWBY song, bar none. This rendition was always going to be something I liked, and I do appreciate a lot about it. The strings are absolutely beautiful, particularly the cello(? I think, again, I’m not much of a music person, just have a sister that plays violin), and I love the way the violin/viola picks up for the second verse and gives the song a second wind, implying more strength and resolve. I love the music cutting out completely to let Casey sing, with the instruments slowly coming in to join as she gets louder and stronger, as if standing with her - beautiful, it’s all insanely beautiful, and this is one I will probably buy.

Closing Thoughts

This album was... average, to me. Only a couple songs really jumped out at me, while most were good, but not something I was dying to listen to again, or were dragged down by the context.

What’re your thoughts on this volume’s songs? I’d love to hear them! Until then, have a good evening, and stay safe!

[imeightout]

OUR TIME APART

“Why are all the women in this building so mean to me?”  

→ jinyoung and reader 

→ angst

→ he’s a successful ceo but just five years ago he used to be the love of your life

There was music coming from the building that could be heard even from outside. You took a deep breath in and tried to look inside the windows to see if he had gotten there yet.

When Jackson told you about the album release party, you were excited for a distraction from thoughts of Jinyoung that were plaguing your mind but when your brother also mentioned the fact that Jinyoung would be there too, you debated if it would be a good idea to go or not.

“Are you not coming in?” You turned your head to see Mark standing there by the door, a glass in his hand and a smile on his face. “What do you mean? I’m coming inside I just needed some fresh air first.”

Mark’s laugh made you feel slightly better, he approached you and let out a sigh, looking at the cars passing by on the street. “It was hard seeing him, wasn’t it?” He suddenly asked. “I don’t know.” You said with a frown. 

“Are you okay with all of this?” You asked Mark who looked a bit confused by the question. “What do you mean?” He raised an eyebrow and looked over at you. “Him coming back, not contacting any of us in years. You guys seemed so okay with it all.” You looked down at the ground and thought that maybe you were going a bit overboard? But then your heart felt broken again and you knew that you had a right to be angry at him.

Mark didn’t know what to say, he stared at you for a moment lost in thought. He wanted to tell you, he wanted to explain everything that happened with Jinyoung but looking at your face made the desire diminish.

If only he had gotten to you first. None of this would’ve happened.

“I guess because the relationship is different, it doesn’t really matter.” Mark said with a fake smile. “But you should come inside, Jackson’s wondering where you went.” You nodded and followed him inside the building.

“You okay?” Jamie asked you while handing you a glass. “I’m okay, seriously.” You said to her with a smile.

You could feel Jinyoung staring at you from across the room, you fought the urge to look at him because you knew that once you did it would just lead to you thinking about him again. 

Not like you weren’t already in all honesty.

“Hey Y/N! I can’t believe you made it!” Bambam hurried over to you with a grin on his face, his hair was a little messed up and his shoelace was untied but he looked like he was having a nice time. “Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’m so proud of you.” You said to him with an hand on his shoulder. “Thanks, you know you’ve always been like a mom to me, thanks for believing in me.” His expression changed and you felt bad for making him think in such a somber way.

Neither of Bambam’s parents really liked the idea of him pursuing his dream in music, therefore they kicked him out of the house and he hasn’t looked back. You felt awful for him so you had your brother offer up his place for him to stay for a short while.

Now two years later and Bambam’s a successful rapper with three albums out now.

Proud was an understatement.

“I need to go find Minghao, I’ll see you later!” His usual cheery self returned and he disappeared from you in an instant.

While talking to Bambam you hadn’t noticed where Jinyoung had went but when you didn’t see him you figured he had left.

You felt yourself relax a little until a hand wrapped around your wrist. “Can we talk?” Jinyoung stepped in front of you, despite your best efforts to walk away from him, his grip was too strong.

“Don’t do this.” He whispered. 

“Do what?” You snapped, pausing to look up at him. “I don’t know what you think is going to happen but I’m honestly in no mood to talk to you right now, just leave me alone okay?”

Jinyoung didn’t want to give up but when he saw Mark approaching he quickly backed off. “Is everything okay?” Mark questioned, looking between the two of you with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, Jinyoung was just telling me about his engagement.” You said with a glance over at Jinyoung before walking away from him.

“Engagement?” Mark asked but Jinyoung didn’t answer.

He didn’t take you as one to follow rumors but then again he never really said anything about them, would disputing them make things better between you?

Not likely, not at all actually but Jinyoung could definitely use it to his advantage, you still loved him and this time there was no way in hell he was letting you go.

                                                             ❁

Going back to work after the party was a feat in itself, you were groggy and annoyed and just overall not in a good mood, so when you walked towards your desk the only mission for today was to get your work done.

“Good morning!” Youngjae said to you cheerfully, placing a muffin on your desk. “What’s this for?” You asked him as he took the seat at his desk. “You look a little worn out today.” He said cautiously, not trying to imply you didn’t look good.

“It’s okay, I know I look like a mess.” You let out a laugh and thanked him for the muffin, setting it aside and signing into your computer. 

“Hey guys.” Jisoo said as she walked in wearing sunglasses and holding a coffee.

“Wow look at you Miss Diva, you do realize you’re at work and not a movie set right?” Jaebeom said with a laugh. “Ha, very funny. I’ll remember that when they ask for the most irrelevant thing an annoying person has said to me today.” She flashed a smile and walked over to her cubicle.

“When will you guys ever get along?” Youngjae questioned.

“Woah, what happened to you?” Yugyeom asked while walking passed you. “I heard your voice this morning.” You replied with eyes still glued to the screen.

“Why are all the women in this building so mean to me?” He whined taking his seat and pouting like a child.

“How was the album release party?” Jisoo questioned, her expression full of excitement. “I love Bambam, he’s one of my favorite artists.” Jaebeom glanced over at you and glared heavily but you weren’t all too sure why.

If he liked Jisoo why would her liking Bambam be your fault?

“It was good, I would’ve invited you guys but my brother said it was at max capacity. Definitely next time!” You said as a promise.

“Miss Wang, CEO Jinyoung would like to see you.” Amber stood behind you suddenly, making you jump. “What for?” You questioned. Amber shifted from leg to the other, chewing on her bottom lip.

“Tell him I’m busy.” You said to her, turning back around to face your computer.

Jisoo, Youngjae, Yugyeom, and Jaebeom all poked their heads to look at you with wide eyes. “I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” Amber whispered. “Well I’m not leaving so he’s going to have to cry me a river.” You replied.

As soon as Amber walked away, Yugyeom rushed over towards you. “Are you crazy?! The CEO personally wants to speak with you and you say that?” You avoided eye contact with everyone as you sat there in thought.

Was that a good idea? Definitely not but so far all Jinyoung wanted was to talk about what happened before and frankly you weren’t ready for that. He only just showed up into your life again, you wanted to get your thoughts together, your words, before you went to him wanting to discuss what happened between the two of you.

You hoped after the party Jinyoung would catch on but you had to remember that he was Jinyoung and even though he was smart he was still an idiot.

When you didn’t say anything, Yugyeom wanted to continued on but someone placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “Oh, Mr. Park.” Yugyeom said nervously, backing away and almost knocking into Jisoo.

“Miss Wang, can we speak for a moment?” He cleared his throat and looked around the department, there were whispers coming from all corners of the room. “Depends, is this work related or about something else entirely?” You questioned.

“Y/N please?” He looked down at you and for some stupid reason you nodded, standing up from your chair and following him to the elevators. 

“What?” You asked while looking at him. “Not here, wait until we get inside my office.” He whispered to you. 

You were about to protest but he pushed you into the elevator and walked in himself like nothing happened.

It wasn’t until he closed his office door when he opened up his mouth, the silence being suddenly filled. “Go on a date with me.” He looked over at you with hands in his pockets, watching you intently.

“What?! Is that seriously why you called me up here? You’re such an ass.” You let out.

“Just one date, to get my mom off my back. Do this one favor for me, please?” He looked at you, begging with his eyes.

You stood there, in your red skirt and white blouse, arms crossed and tears stinging your eyes. “A favor? You want a favor from me?” He took the question as rhetorical and stayed silent.

“How about instead, I ask you a few questions.” You took a step closer and bit your lip before continuing.

“Was being with me so bad that you had to leave without saying goodbye? Was telling me you loved me too much for you to handle that you had to leave without telling me anything? Was it so hard for you?”

You always pictured a reunion with Jinyoung to be filled with cliche moments like in those dramas, even after promising yourself you would never cry again because of him, here you were standing in front of him with tears streaming down your face.

“I hate you.” You whispered towards him. “I hate you, I hate you so much. I hate that you left, I hate that you couldn’t keep your promises, I hate how I was miserable after you were gone and you didn’t even so much think about me. I was a mess and you didn’t even care. I hate you and I sincerely hope that one day you get to feel the same pain that I felt.”

There was so much more left to say but you were crying so hard you could hardly breathe so you looked at him one last time before wiping a tear away.

“You can take your favor and shove it up your ass.” And with that you left his office.

                                                              ❁

It was late by the time Jackson had time to finally leave the building. He wasn’t expecting for Jinyoung to call him so late but nevertheless, he missed his old friend.

“Hey.” Jackson said while Jinyoung was busy stuffing his face. He stared at him and took in a deep breath.

What could he possibly want to talk about?

“I need help with your sister.” Jinyoung said after Jackson was handed a plate of food for himself. “Help? I don’t…” Jackson trailed off after it hit him. “Jinyoung, if she doesn’t want anything to do with you just drop it. You’re lucky she hasn’t skinned you alive yet.”

Jackson let out a chuckle before grabbing a napkin but Jinyoung slammed his fist on the table which made Jackson stop in his tracks.

“I retract my earlier statement, she ruined your life already didn’t she?” Jinyoung glared at Jackson and looked away.

“I know she’s angry at me, I understand. But she won’t even let me talk to her, how am I suppose to explain if she won’t hear me out?”

It was at that moment that Jackson realized how much of an idiot his friend was. “Look, you’re my friend. We’ve had some really nice memories together but she’s my sister, she comes way before you.” Jackson began.

“I’ve always felt guilty all these years, she’s my sister. I should protect her at all costs, and I knew that one day there would be that guy who would break her heart, I just didn’t expect for it to be you. You were always so good to her, you even put your life on the line for her and I will forever be grateful for that but it doesn’t change the fact that when you left she wasn’t the same,”

Jackson took a sip of his drink and leaned his elbows on the table. “her whole attitude towards life changed, her mindset, the way she saw the world. I’m apart of why she changed, I’m part of the reason why she doesn’t believe in love anymore. I know you love her but have you ever considered that maybe just maybe, the two of you weren’t meant to be together after all?”

Even long after Jackson had left his words still stuck inside Jinyoung’s mind.

He always thought that when he saw you again, he’d be able to at least explain a small part and get you back into his arms again.

He didn’t realize until now just how much he had ruined your life.

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[dearosamu]

DESPERADO - PURGATORIO

SYPNOSIS:  she, a dancer with personified problems all the while more that intrigues osamu dazai who came into her life amidst the chaos that is [name] [last name].

WARNING/S: implied nsfw

three - four

dinner was .. entertaining, more or less. but it seemed such a drag to [name].

she hated dazai. she hated letting someone else pay for her. she hated how her younger brother liked him easily out of all people.

though, dazai with any means, isn't good with children. even with yumeno basically flooding him with questions he could easily answer, yet the questions itself were too .. peculiar.

"osa-chan, how did you meet onee-chan?"

"have you two known each other before? onee-chan, why didn't you tell me!-"

"yumeno, no i don't. he's just..an acquaintance from work." [name]'s eye twitched from the sentence that left her mouth.

"hmm," yumeno picked on his cake tart before taking a bite. "whyth ish thathf soth?" his question came out muffled.

"don't talk when your mouth is full, yumeno."

the boy only groaned and nodded before swallowing his food and asking his question more properly. "why is that so? onee-chan and osa-chan seem close.."

[name] scoffed while dazai only chuckled. "mhm, we do seem very close don't we, [name]?"

"don't even consider it."

"oh dear, i dream of it."

"you're gross."

"you're pretty."

"please," [name] rolled her eyes. "flattery won't get you anywhere."

"but i am trying," dazai grinned teasingly referring to what she does for a living. [name] stared at him with disgust, slapping his arm which she only received a stuck out tongue in return. yumeno looked between the two confused.

"onee-chan, what does osa-chan mean by that?"

dazai looked at yumeno with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "well you see yumeno-kun, your osa-chan wants to court your onee-chan, but she rejects me every time!" he dramatically lifted an arm to his forehead.

"dazai.." [name] spoke his name in an irritated tone, wanting to pummel the male six feet to the ground already.

"oh really?" yumeno's lips curved a cheshire grin, tarted with cake crumbs. "do you think she'll accept one day?"

"i hope so," dazai sighed dreamily. "i await for the day i'll get the chance to spoil her rotten."

"don't get your hopes too high," [name] interjected. "what even makes you think i'll ever like you? you're a jerk."

dazai waved her off. "you'll see, mon cherie."

"what's with the nicknames?"

"simply because you are one of a kind."

"har-har, i'm flattered," the woman replies with gritted teeth.

"onee-chan! what are you having anyway? you're not gonna eat?" yumeno interrupted upon seeing the woman only drinking her cold beverage.

"no, i'm not hungry."

"but you should eat!"

"yumeno, no--"

"listen to him [name]~" dazai crooned. "you really should eat. yumeno-kun, what do you want your onee-chan to have?"

"cake tarts!" yumeno cheered.

"big sister can't eat cake tarts, she'll get fat," [name] said, taking a sip of her [f.d.].

"eh? onee-chan, fat?" yumeno blinked. "but onee-chan, you don't care if you eat too much or get fat don't you? isn't that what you said when you ate a big chunk of-"

"ahaha, yumeno that's enough of you," [name] nervously laughed as she covered yumeno's mouth with her hand to stop him from embarassing her any further.

dazai chuckled at the sight. "you worry if you get fat?"

"shut up and no i don't," she denied.

"how cute."

"why are you even here?" the woman groaned.

"because yumeno-kun invited me for dinner." [name] scoffed.

"then can you leave if i ask you to?"

"yes."

"then why won't you leave?"

"because i was invited and it would be rude to come here and then leave so sudden," dazai answered, crossing his arms. "besides, i am hungry."

"you're such an idiot," she huffed.

"why, thank you."

"that was not a compliment."

"if it comes from you, then it is," dazai winked. a vein popped out of said woman's forehead.

"you're really annoying, you know that?"

"countless of times, yes."

[name] only groaned once more for she had to endure this for the entire evening

.

---

"i'm not your personal favorite, so why did you ask for me?" akutagawa asked dazai slightly confused but amused at the situation. dazai only responded with a light groan before slumping on the leather chair. "my little kitten is a bit off-put at the moment," he pouted. "i don't really favor anyone else here."

"chuuya-san is here you know." akutagawa says in a questioning tone but it sounded more like a statement.

"yeah, but that good for nothing hat rack simply isn't enough to please me. plus we hate each other." akutagawa scoffed. "you should see how much money he makes in a day."

"ah, but i think you provide much better service than him," dazai grinned at akutagawa teasingly, in which the latter huffed at this action. "[name] and chuuya-san may come off as rude to their clients, but believe me when i say they're good at what they do."

dazai exhaled through his nose as akutagawa sat on his lap, running his hands through his brown locks of hair. he came back to the strip club to meet his belladonna for a night out alone. as usual, chuuya was there to bash on him and to insult the male. before leaving, chuuya informed dazai that [name] did not go to work today; something about calling in sick but dazai went on in and called for akutagawa instead. he was conflicted about coming to the strip club but he could not refused for had oda didn't invite him, he wouldn't even be there in the first place.

how oda was able to put up with dazai's perspective of things was honestly impressive since it was no secret that dazai enjoyed oda's view of things since he was less systematic than dazai. he'd often accompany dazai with whatever he had up his sleeve but it's not really safe to say that his plans never had excellent result. its dazai after all.

things went downhill once he got back to his office after having dinner with [name] and yumeno. higuchi had been waiting for dazai to get back to report terrible news that their sales are going down and a few people -- to be more specific, con artists had been scamming people with their products that they previously sold at auctions and it made people believe that the corporation were only after their money and sold fake items in their past auctions.

dazai had been stressed over by his colleagues and needed to cool off, though thinking of ways to somehow restore the mafia's reputation and to get rid of the people who were dumb enough to even try and bring down the mafia.

"think you can handle it?"

"psh, you called for me of all people," akutagawa rolled his eyes before placing a chaste kiss on dazai's head. "but i promise to make you feel good."

still, it was weird to see [name] -- even akutagawa stri- dance for him. he'd even expect it to himself that he'd be denied of his desires, but it was still given to him with little difficulty. he was a mess inside.

"you know, it's not like you to switch out on dancers."

"needed a change," dazai mumbled. "is that a problem?"

akutagawa pursed his lips. "not really, it's just that when i used to be your regular, you wouldn't let anyone touch me," he placed a hand on dazai's broad shoulders. "you were possessive."

"that was back then." dazai growled lowly.

akutagawa hummed. "what's on your mind?"

"nothing that i'd like to speak about." akutagawa sighed heavily. "i'd press on you to tell me, but you've always been stubborn." it was a trait he and [name] both shared.

"always have, always will." dazai stated with a close eyed smile.

"..right since this isn't a therapy session." akutagawa deadpans. dazai placed both his hands on akutagawa's thighs and hips, knowing he had permission to.

"i trust that you'll get rid of all my stress away?"

"like i said before, i promise i'll make you feel good."

---

oda patiently waited for dazai, knowing he always takes longer on his time -- specially if it's with akutagawa. he knows he never really keeps his meetings 'formal' with the younger male. dazai stumbled out of the black curtains looking very much disheveled then he was when he entered the strip club, his neck tie missing and a few bruise marks were on his neck. they were small, but visible enough. a sly grin was on his face which reminded oda of a cat.

"had fun?" oda downed on his third shot of vodka.

"you bet i did," dazai snickered as he stumbled to the stool next to oda. "can i have some of that special sake you keep at your place? you know how much i love those."

"sure. when you're much more sober that is," oda shook his head. "you probably had akutagawa hit you up with heavy shit."

"oh, come onn!! it was only a little~!" dazai slurred, throwing a hand over oda's shoulders. "it's not like i got overly high again!"

"tell me that again once you're actually sober would you? this is why i always give akutagawa head warnings." he removed dazai's hand from his shoulders, making the brunette whine and slump on the counter top. oda held a hand against his temple and massaged it, muttering things about dazai not listening to him again of the sorts.

"come on odasakuu! not even a little bit?" dazai pouted as he turned his head sideways from the counter to face oda.

"no."

"please?? i swear i'll only get one shot!" dazai insisted, shaking oda's left arm. oda groaned before reluctantly agreeing to dazai's request. ".. fine, but don't blame me if you can't get home."

"relax! i can take care of myself just fine."

"i'll message my assistant then," oda huffed, taking out his phone and texted his assistant to bring a bottle of sake to his office later. dazai hummed, twirling his index finger on oda's glass of tequila.

"he's still around?"

"you bet." oda tapped away one his phone. after a few seconds, he slipped it back into his pocket and turned to dazai. "chuuya told me you didn't visit your favorite?"

"she would not appreciate seeing me here," mumbled dazai. "plus she didn't even go to work today."

oda let out a soft chuckle. "you think she ever did? that girl hates your guts."

"it gets worse," dazai groaned, standing up from his seat and heading towards the exit. "i'll tell you later at my office."

"still want to keep on leaving people hanging?"

"i'm just a poor man, odasaku."

"please, you just got laid and run a company. you're basically the definition of spoiled."

".. quiet you."

---

oda poured a minimum amount of sake on dazai's glass, who accepted it with glee. he downed on it and sighed in content. "you keep the best stuff, odasaku. why don't you ever give me some?"

"wouldn't want the risk of a suicidal man holding a bottle of sake running around the building naked .." oda muttered, taking a seat on one of dazai's office couches.

"hey! i do not get that tipsy! i'll have you know that i hold my liquor very well." dazai boasted, holding a hand to his chest.

"sure," oda leaned onto the coffee table, placing his chin on his interwined fingers. "anyways, humour me already with what you were supposed to tell me."

"well, i ran into [name] into the mall yesterday with this kid--"

"she has kids?!"

"jesus odasaku, no!" dazai exclaimed. "it's just her little brother.. i think.." dazai said lowly.

"god, dazai," oda huffed. "you're such an idiot."

"why are so many people calling me an idiot??" dazai sulked.

"because you are one," oda shook his head, sighing. "do they have any caretakers?"

"no. [name]'s the one taking care of her little brother."

"what did you do this time?"

"i just ran into her in the mall since i was hurrying to our business meeting, but her little brother ran into me and asked between two things he wanted to buy. [name] didn't want me to talk to him but he asked me a question and i gave him an answer. i also insisted that i pay for yumeno's sweets instead and later then he invited me for dinner and i made [name] eat. i basically paid for her entire day." dazai explains.

oda sunked even further into the cushioned couch. "you really are an idiot .." he muttered, shaking his head. "first of all, you pay her ridiculous amounts of money just for her body -- which, in her eyes, is already degrading on it's own -- and now you pay for her too?"

"i don't get what's the problem here," dazai mumbled. "i have the money, she needs the money. it can work."

"no, dazai. it doesn't work that way." oda scratched the back of head, thinking of a way to explain the situation thoroughly. "think of it this way; [name] and yumeno were abandoned by their parents at a young age for whatever reason and that left [name] to raise her little brother by herself. she struggles with financial problems as she had no one to support her and her little brother."

"and what you're meaning to say is?"

"she dislikes the fact that you figured out the limbing situation she is in. and possibly only giving her more money out of sympathy. she doesn't want to connect her home life to her job."

"but i'm helping her, aren't i?" dazai grumbled, frustration slowly building up.

"in her case, she feels as if you're intruding," oda frowned. "it really is none of your business to be sticking your nose around what she does in her personal life and her connections with people." oda poured a small amount of sake on his glass and took a quick gulp.

"you really think that's why?"

"hey, i'm not entirely sure. it's just an analysis i have figured from what you've told me." he shrugged.

"then why won't she take me?" dazai pouts. "i have the money that she needs to live the life she wants for her and her brother. it seems too easy."

"that's probably just from her nature," oda chuckles. "now, about that plan to rebuild our reputation and to get rid of the con artists ..”

[princess-of-the-corner]

I had a follow up dream to that Marichat accidental pregnancy and also identity reveal dream I had a while back. Some highlights:

When Chloé and Alya are huddled around a tablet filling an online shopping cart for the nursery while Mari tries in vain to stop them, they ask "are you setting up the nursery at your place or Adrien's? Because that changes what we buy." 

Mari then has a small crisis because obviously she wants the nursery at her place because it's her baby and as the mother she'll have to be near it 24/7 pretty much, but her place doesn't really have the room for a nursery. Adrien's place has room, but not her.

Adrien's like "okay, shoot me down if this I'm going to fast..." and someone points out that they're already having a baby so nothing is "too fast".

His suggestion though is that by the time the baby is born, they'll have graduated and they'll be legal adults. So moving into their own place isn't that bad of a decision....". 

They consider it, but decide to put a pin in it for later.

someone in the class (probs Rose or Mylene) asks about Baby Names. 

Mari tries to quickly shut down that conversation, but Alya teases her about her old choices with the "three kids and a hamster!" Fantasy. 

Adrien laughs about it a little but finds it adorable. He also has no real objections to the name choices, but that's another "let's stick a pin in it for later" conversation.

Gabriel invites the Dupain-Chengs for dinner at the mansion to discuss the whole situation. 

A lot of the conversation is pretty normal stuff that’s already been discussed. Adrien and Mari are staying together as a couple and keeping the baby, and they’re working out details. 

That includes the idea of them living together in their own place. That throws the parents for a loop, but they do agree it might be a good idea. 

Adrien does discuss potential in paying for said apartment, as he’d like to actually work for it instead of just having Gabriel pay for it. Adrien is already paid for the modeling stuff, but does discuss with Gabriel that maybe he can do some other things either behind the camera or in the business part of the company. Gabriel is surprised but proud. 

Another thing discussed is Mari’s career and how exactly they’re going to deal with the PR stuff

Adrien and Marinette’s half-truth about why they kept the relationship secret(since they can’t mention Hero stuff) was saying that they wanted to let Marinette create her own career before announcing the relationship, as people would either accuse her of seducing Adrien for an in at Gabriel’s company, or accuse Gabriel of favoritism when he chooses her for good opportunities

Gabriel’s idea is to tell the truth on that, and also the truth of his ‘long term plan’. 

He admits that Marinette does have plenty of design talent, but not much business experience. He already approved her internship application, and had plans for offering her a full time job at the company after, and eventually a personal mentorship. With all that, by the time Gabriel is ready to retire, she’d have enough business skill to take over the company. 

Mari absolutely chokes on that news because what the FUCK. 

Gabriel also admits that part of the plan did involve encouraging the potential Adrienette relationship, as not only would they be a good match, but it also means that the company will stay in the family.

Basically, Gabriel says that his statement about the situation would be admitting to all of that, and miscalculating how well Marinette and Adrien would get on together. 

Again, Mari is low-key losing her shit at this. Eventually she just kinda puts her head down and is like ‘stress is bad for the baby’. Adrien asks if she means the actual baby or her, and she’s like ‘yes’. 

Once they calm her down they all kind of agree on that. 

There was also more on the Miraculous Team finding out. 

The meeting was held at Chloé’s place and LB and Chat decided on a full team reveal

They explain why first though. Basically that Ladybug is pregnant and can’t really fight. They’re doing the reveal so that they can properly stay in contact, especially since Tikki refuses to not be around Ladybug for the months this would take. 

Rena Rouge gets excited of the ‘omg! You’re pregnant, my bff is pregnant, do you think you two could do a joint babyshower?’. 

Chloé actually puts the dots together first, because that’s a staple of mine at this point, and is just like ‘you motherfuckers!!’

Everyone detransforms and Chloé gets a noise complaint from Alya fangirling over her bff having been Ladybug all this time.

Speaking of the Miraculous stuff, Gabriel is having a crisis of his own. 

He’s realizing how much Adrien has moved on since Emilie’s disappearance. This whole situation is a wakeup call in that regard. How stuck he is, how he should move on, and how the whole situation is helping him move on, despite how much he wants to cling to the past and the idea of bringing Emilie back.

He decides to give up.

Side note: Emilie was straight-up dead in this AU because a lot of this didn’t work if it was just ‘Magic Coma’. 

The Miraculous Team get an alert that Hawkmoth himself has shown up at the Eiffel Tower and go to face off. 

The team tries to get LB to maybe sit this one out because baby but she’s like ‘oh hell no’. 

They get there preparing for a fight, but Hawkmoth only wants to talk and negotiate his surrender. 

The Team is suspicious af, but hear him out. 

Hawkmoth explains how his motive was to bring his wife back to life, but that recently things have changed and he has realized that he needs to move on.

When pushed, he admits that the thing that ‘changed’ is that he’s going to be Grandpa and that’s exactly the kind of slap to the face that makes you realize things. 

Hawkmoth’s deal is that, no matter what, he’s going to stop. However, he will only hand over the Butterfly and Peacock Miraculous if the team promises to let him go and not tell his family about the whole situation. 

Chloé is again the one to put the pieces together and is just like ‘Okay, first of all, Gabriel, I’m going to kick your ass. Secondly, not telling Adrien is gonna be REAL DAMN HARD’.

Hawkmoth’s like ‘how the fuck did you figure it out that fast?’ 

Chloé just says that things lined up too well. ‘Hawkmoth’ appeared soon after Emilie’s disappearance/death, Gabriel was a suspect once already, the timing of Akumatizations suggested someone who set their own job schedule instead of having a usual 9-5 hours, the number of late night Akumas indicated either an insomniac or an artist type who would be up at that time(because artists have no sleep schedule), and the final nail is that Adrien and Mari just announced the pregnancy so....

Hawkmoth’s just like ‘okay, you’re especially banned from telling Adrien anything’. 

Chloé’s just like ‘I don’t have to...’

Chat’s just like ‘Uh... surprise?’. 

‘oh shit’ said the Hawkmoth. 

With identities revealed, they all decided to have this conversation somewhere more private. AKA the mansion. 

There’s definitely a lot of yelling. And also Nathalie gets dragged in because the dots are connected to her being Mayura. 

Adrien is also not holding back about anything because what the FUCK

Gabriel is also low-key mad at Adrien and Mari for having Ladybug go into what could’ve been a dangerous battle even though she’s pregnant. Adrien and the rest of the crew are like ‘look we tried to stop her but we can’t stop her from doing anything once she decides to do it!’. 

Again, there’s a lot of yelling and arguing back and forth about the whole scenario. 

But like, it’s one thing when Hawkmoth was a faceless entity who was ‘probably some asshole hellbent on world domination’, and an entirely different thing when you’re facing down someone you know who was fueled by grief and is trying to make things right now. 

The team eventually comes to a ‘okay, we’ll be quiet about the whole situation, but it’s gonna take a long ass while to rebuild trust here’ thing. 

Lila was also still trying to be a fuck because what else is new?

She’s frustrated af because nothing works. 

She tries to imply that Mari is only with Adrien for the connections, but the class shuts that down because they know how much Mari loves him. Lila can’t even try to trick Gabriel into believing that considering Mari and Adrien’s story for the secret dating. 

Lila then tries to say that Marinette is being ‘extra mean’ to her because of the combo between jealousy and pregnancy hormones, but the class is just like ‘bruh... maybe but also they’re legit together and you’re being a lil clingy so it might be slightly justifed so you should probably back off?’

Also, as soon as this starts, Alya and Nino make the connection of ‘Oh. Lila says she’s Ladybug’s bff. Marinette is Ladybug. Marinette hates Lila and says she’s a liar’. They totally apologize and try to figure out how to prove that Lila’s a liar. 

Tbh, since Hawkmoth is no longer a threat, identies don’t have to be kept secret anymore! So Mari could just go to the front of the class and be like ‘Spots On motherfuckers!’ and prove that Lila’s a fuck. 

THat was kinda the last thing I remember so yeah. Goodnight y’all.